#grace for purpose prayer
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dailyeffectiveprayer · 10 months ago
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Give and It Shall Be Given Unto You | A Powerful and Blessed Morning Prayer To Start The Day
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versegpt · 10 months ago
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[Prayer] Empowered Living: A 10-Day Spirit-filled Journey
CLICK HERE FOR THE DEVOTIONAL
Heavenly Father,
We come before you with grateful hearts, acknowledging the transformative power of your Holy Spirit in our lives. As we reflect on the richness of your Word, we lift our prayers to you, recognizing the profound truths revealed through the scriptures.
Empowered Witnesses: Lord, we thank you for the promise in Acts 1:8 that we shall receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon us. May this power enable us to boldly proclaim your love and truth in our local communities and beyond. ​
The Promised Helper: Heavenly Father, we are grateful for the constant and eternal Helper promised by Jesus in John 14:16. May the Holy Spirit be a guiding presence in every aspect of our lives, offering wisdom, comfort, and strength. ​
Verified Authentic Children of God: Thank you, Lord, for the affirmation in Romans 8:16 that the Spirit testifies with our spirit that we are your children. May we live out our identity as your beloved children, finding assurance and belonging in your family. ​
Fear-Banishing Spirit of God: Heavenly Father, we pray that the Holy Spirit's power, love, and discipline, as described in 2 Timothy 1:7, will replace any fear within us. Grant us the courage to face challenges, knowing that we are empowered by your Spirit. ​
Our Ever-Present Comforting Teacher: Lord, we seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit, our constant teacher, as mentioned in John 14:26. Teach us, remind us, and guide us in your truth, so we may grow in our understanding of your word and your ways. ​
Cultivating Spiritual Fruit: Father, help us cultivate the fruit of the Spirit, as outlined in Galatians 5:22-23. May love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control manifest in our lives for your glory. ​
Revealing Spiritual Gifts: We thank you for the manifestation of spiritual gifts, as mentioned in 1 Corinthians 12:7. May we use these gifts for the common good, building up the body of Christ and serving others in love. ​
Persistent Prayer in the Spirit: Lord, grant us the discipline of persistent prayer in the Spirit, as encouraged in Ephesians 6:18. May our prayers be filled with your guidance, and may we intercede for the needs of our fellow believers with perseverance. ​
Mercy-Based Spiritual Renewal: Father, we humbly acknowledge that our salvation is not based on our deeds but on your mercy, as expressed in Titus 3:5. Renew us through the Holy Spirit, washing us in the regeneration that comes from your grace. ​
Glorifying God as Living Temples: Lord, we recognize our bodies as temples of the Holy Spirit, according to 1 Corinthians 6:19-20. Help us glorify you in our bodies, honoring you with our actions, thoughts, and the choices we make.
In the name of Jesus, we pray. Amen.
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afaithfulsower · 18 hours ago
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Build Each Other Up Through the Grace of Jesus Christ
The world tears us down routinely, which is why we, as Christians, are to build each other up daily. Click/Tap the link to read more. #afaithfulsower #devotional #gospel #god #faith #jesussaves
���Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as, in fact, you are doing.” ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:11/NIV As we have opened our newspapers over the past several years, far too often on the front page, there is some disastrous event involving humanity somewhere around the world boldly displayed! Likewise, on the evening news, at the beginning of each newscast, the focus is quickly…
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lookingotthefuture · 3 months ago
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Everyone has a Story.
Everyone has a story—you have one, and everyone you meet has one. One of the most essential life skills is the ability to listen to those stories. In listening to these stories, we start to connect with other people. It is not their bias, preconceived ideas, or emotional state that brings us together—it is the stories of our lives. We can not earn the right to speak until we show compassion and…
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peaofme · 6 months ago
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Whoops!!
Have you ever been so immersed in your journey, believing you’re doing great, only to realize—whoops—you’ve slipped and haven’t quite gotten up from that negative stop you made a while back? It can be incredibly frustrating, but thank goodness you found the moment to recognize it. Being mindful of your actions and behavior is crucial at this point. If you stay blind to the fact that you’ve taken…
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livingwaters27 · 1 year ago
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God's timing is not our timing
bible.com/bible/100/jer.29.10-13.NASB1995 The Prophet Jeremiah’s words from God, to the exiled Israelites, for their disobedience for following false prophets. Later, in God’s own timing, he would restore them.
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stories4god · 1 year ago
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A Prayer for Meaning in the Empty Holes of Life
I woke up this morning thinking about the mundane tasks in life and how I get caught up in them. Constantly seeking an elusive treasure that never seems to be where I am digging. I wrote a short prayer asking for help to find the real treasure that I so often push aside in my haste to dig the holes. I used Chatgpt to help put my prayer into a chiasma because I love the poetic structure. Dear…
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biblebloodhound · 1 year ago
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How Jesus Prayed (John 17:1-11)
All of life is dependent upon rhythms of receiving and giving.
David Ewart, http://www.holytextures.com After Jesus said this, he looked toward heaven and prayed: “Father, the hour has come. Glorify your Son, that your Son may glorify you. For you granted him authority over all people that he might give eternal life to all those you have given him. Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. I have…
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sqtorux · 3 months ago
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men who beg. not for something in particular but they're so pussydrunk to the point where prayers of desperation fall from their lips, and they're not even aware.
it's not their fault either, your cunt is just so well moulded to every vein and creases of their dick like it was made for them and them alone. it's so soft and warm, clenching on their hard cock as if its sole purpose was to milk out a whole generation's worth of his seed.
flush cheeks, furrowed brows and closed lids graced their faces as the constant huffs and involuntary moans amidst the chants of please please please breaths out all the way from the depths of their chest.
a low gut wrenching moan falls from their lips as your hips buckle up to bury them deeper inside you. he thrusts faster, harder with every 'please' that escapes his pretty mouth— the same mouth that was drooling by just how perfect you made them feel.
another whine escapes him and you decided to make him cum. after all, he pleaded enough right?
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gojo satoru, geto suguru, nanami kento, choso kamo, toji fushiguro, ino takuma, oikawa tooru, suggest more men for me to imagine this to lol
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just-some-user-hunny · 26 days ago
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Nikto baring more than just scars. Something new. Something deep. Something stark against his grizzly ice cold visage.
Nikto with smile lines around his pretty almond eyes. Feline-like eyes all soft and relaxed when he looks at you, glacial blue irises swallowed up by the black of his pupils. It's when he goes back to work that Krueger notices the little creases indented around his shadowy eyes. stern. Cold. But still weeping with the marks of something soft and warm.
Nikto with a big slavic nose. It's so often covered with his mask, and he's always gently nudging you with it. It's beautiful- no matter how many times he rejects the compliment. The happy grumble that leaves his throat when your lips grace against it. It's no longer muffled and trapped against thick taut fabric- a striking feature hidden from sight. Now it hides in your hair. Your neck, the scent of your skin and sweet shampoo replacing the dirty fabric that smells of cold and grit.
Nikto's lips are torn and scarred, and yet they're so warm. Warmed by the tea he drinks with you, warmed by your soft lips gracing his. You let him kiss you. You let him. Your pretty mouth, so good- too good for what he feels he can offer.
He becomes something more than just a hideous snarl, a gnarling dog's bite. Baring his teeth to preserve what's left of his dampened soul, what's left of his tattered body. A corpse aching for more than just coarse dirt.
Your name seldom leaves his gnarling teeth. It's hidden between the seal of grit teeth and firm tongue- it's not meant for anyone else. You gave it to him. Your name exchanging between mouths. between teeth. You gave it to him so sweetly- so easily. As easy as breathing. How could he not give his back for such a gift? He has to protect it. From both comrades and enemies alike. They couldn't appreciate it like him. Not utter it like a prayer, filling his lungs with air and purpose.
Nikto who turns his nose up whenever someone remarks about the little subtle changes about him. Who needs to know? They don't need to know. He's not sweetened. Don't be ridiculous.
Lying has never been his strongest skill. But he can stay silent. He's good at that.
He can keep this secret. His secret.
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dailyeffectiveprayer · 1 year ago
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God Is Turning Things Around | Morning Miracle Prayer To Build Your Trust & Faith In God (POWERFUL)
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fear-is-truth · 30 days ago
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𝐂𝐑𝐀𝐖𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐓𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔 — charlie mayhew
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CHARLIE MAYHEW isn’t always the way he is now—weaponising his sexuality, toeing the line between sacred and outright blasphemy with reckless confidence. he had once been a man of simple faith, entering the priesthood with a pure heart and a determination to serve god. he is ambitious, sure, but there had been no arrogance in his calling.
you are his fall from grace.
in the beginning, he tries—really tries to resist. he prays harder, longer, throws himself into his duties with even greater fervor. but no amount of scripture, no recitation of prayer, can dispel the debauched thoughts that cloud his mind whenever you smile at him.
he simply can’t stay away.
the first time it happens, the kiss is barely more than a chaste brush of lips. he pulls away immediately, guilt and horror flooding his conscience. that night, charlie flees to his private chamber, and the self-flagellation comes soon after. with each lash of the braided leather whip against his skin, he whispers scripture through gritted teeth: “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of god.” but no amount of blood, no pain, can undo what has been done.
he convinces himself it will end there. one kiss, one slip, and he will be stronger for it. but that is a lie.
every time you come back, charlie’s resolve crumbles. the guilt is still present, yes—but it is soon buried under desire. he wants you. needs you. more than he has ever craved anything. more than he craves salvation.
lingering glances turn into fleeting touches, and eventually, stolen kisses become something more. with each illicit interaction, he strays further from the garden of eden, but he can’t stop. at first, he justifies it—priests are human too, temptation is part of the journey. he will confess, seek forgiveness, and return to his calling, a better man.
but that never happens.
intimate moments with you are both a sin and a revelation. afterward, he retires to his chamber, desperate to cleanse himself through pain. the lashes leave his back raw and bleeding, but it isn’t enough.
over time, the guilt begins to fade.
the young priest no longer seeks penance. instead, he begins to twist the words of the bible to suit his desires. he tells himself that love—in any form—is divine. didn’t jesus himself walk among sinners? wasn’t the act of love sacred? “where sin increased, grace abounded all the more” — romans 5:20
and in his heart of hearts, he knows he is lost.
“god is love,” he tells himself, “and if love is holy, how can this be wrong?” he begins to see his desires as a reflection of the modern world, telling himself that the church needs to evolve with the times. the world is changing, and so, too, should the church. how could they expect people to follow a path so rigid and outdated? by indulging in these passions, he is becoming more human, more relatable. perhaps this is his purpose—to bridge the gap between the divine and the human experience, to show that priests are not infallible, that they too struggle with temptation, that they too love.
how could it be wrong to love, charlie thinks, even as he kisses you again, fingers unbuttoning your blouse, lips tracing the curve of your neck.
you have become the centre of his downfall, and he welcomes it.
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m.list  fear-is-truth
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versegpt · 9 months ago
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[Prayer] Heartfelt Petitions: A Prayer for Comfort, Strength, Illumination, Healing, Purpose, and Love
Gracious Heavenly Father,
In the quiet chambers of our hearts, we lift up a prayer for those who may feel the weight of the world upon their shoulders. Lord, wrap them in the comforting embrace of Your love, the love that surpasses understanding and casts out fear.
For those who are burdened by the trials of life, grant them strength to endure, knowing that Your love is a steadfast anchor in the storms. In moments of despair, may they find solace in the truth that You are a God who cares deeply for each of Your children.
For those who are wandering in the shadows of doubt and uncertainty, illuminate their paths with the light of Your love. May they come to know the depth of Your grace, which extends beyond their failures and shortcomings.
Lord, for those who are in need of healing, whether it be physical, emotional, or spiritual, we ask for Your restoring touch. Let Your love be a balm that soothes wounds and brings about wholeness.
We pray for those who are searching for meaning and purpose in life. May they discover the profound love that You have lavished upon them, a love that gives life its truest and richest meaning.
For those who are lonely, be their companion, O Lord. Fill the emptiness in their hearts with the warmth of Your presence. Let them experience the truth that in You, they are never alone.
In the midst of the challenges of this world, help us to love one another as You have loved us. May our lives be a reflection of Your selfless and sacrificial love.
We commit these prayers into Your hands, trusting in Your unfailing love and sovereign care. In the name of Jesus, our Savior, we pray.
Amen.
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afaithfulsower · 5 months ago
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Build Each Other Up Through the Grace of Jesus Christ
The world tears us down routinely, which is why we, as Christians, are to build each other up daily. Click/Tap the link to read more. #afaithfulsower #devotional #gospel #god #faith #jesussaves
“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as, in fact, you are doing.” ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:11/NIV As we have opened our newspapers over the past several years, far too often on the front page, there is some disastrous event involving humanity somewhere around the world boldly displayed! Likewise, on the evening news, at the beginning of each newscast, the focus is quickly…
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hxney-lemcn · 4 months ago
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Ancient Love — deity! Malleus Draconia x gn! reader
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summery: you find yourself blessed by the God of magic, don't worry dear reader, he'll take care of you.
tw: mentions of death (he speculates about you growing old). Power dynamics once again (he is a literal god so...yeah).
a/n: another deity au fic. Idk why it's got me in its grasp at the moment. Once again, props to @ceruleancattail for the au. also ik in Greek myths gods 'loving' humans was a reoccurring thing but still, for the sake of this fic its taboo.
wc: 0.8k
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This was wrong. Taboo. So why did it feel so right? Why did you long for him to run his fingers through your hair, or to caress your skin? Why did he give in to your wishes? Malleus, the long forgotten deity of magic and creatures of the night has graced your being time and time again. You had stumbled upon his shrine, the old temple crumbling from centuries of decay and erosion. The gargoyles had stared down on you as you entered, depictions of dragons, reptiles and bats laid upon a mural with the paint cracking. Unlike most ancient temples that are uprooted, this one held no statue, only an altar with melted candles, bones, and decaying papers that you could barely make out. 
Malleus showed himself after your third visit. You hadn’t come to worship him, but instead to document the crumbling temple and what his old followers had come to him for. So what better than to speak to the God himself? At first he didn’t tell you who he was, not wanting you to look at him differently or to scare you off. You always had an inkling of doubt about the mysterious man. He had come from seemingly nowhere and his attire was outdated, not to mention he talked more regal than what you were used to, but you didn’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth.
Malleus on the other hand found you quite amusing. You were unknowingly speaking to one of the most powerful ancient gods yet you spoke to him like any other mortal. He had always been a lonely God, even when he was in his prime he wasn’t as popular as the others. He didn’t offer prosperity, love, or good harvest. People feared him and his ability, humans weren’t too fond of magic and came to him for protection from curses or evil spirits. So you, a mortal who didn’t cower in front of him had his heart melting. Your curiosity about him, his temple, his powers, and his past had him rambling for as long as you’d let him. 
Don’t question why you feel safer at night, or how bats and reptiles are more fond of you. Don’t question why people who wrong you never treat you terribly again or how you always feel watched when the moonlight shines down upon you. Unlike how Malleus was portrayed, he was a deity who cared about his people, and you had wormed your way into his heart. Yet he found himself loving you on a level he’s never had before. Your smile warmed his chilled bones, your laughter was better than any prayer he’d received before, your love greater than any worship he’d ever had.  
A deity falling for a mortal was taboo. It was wrong. It goes against all boundaries. Gods were better than mortals, they were stronger, more powerful. A God's only purpose was to be worshiped, they were not the ones to worship. So why, why did Malleus find himself wanting to bow before you, wanting to pray for your love and care, for you to never leave his side. When you found out his true identity at first you were flabbergasted, you had been speaking to a deity this entire time…but that soon fizzled when you realized he was still the same person you had been talking to. 
You found yourself in the ancient shrine more and more with Malleus’ fingers tangled in your hair as he explained why gargoyles stood post throughout his temple. Or the nights that you both shared under the stars as he explained the meanings of old constellations that had shifted over time. Or when he wrapped you in his embrace when you found yourself with troubles, wishing he could fix everything for you so you never had to shed a tear again. Yet he found himself enjoying the moments you brought him gifts, not out of worship, but out of care. Or when you’d be the one to caress his face, or how your hands always seemed to wander towards his horns but stopped an inch short. Or the moments your eyes would take him in and you’d murmur his praises that he always managed to hear. 
Over time, Malleus started to think of your future. Even though you were nothing like his past followers, you would meet the same fate. Your hair will turn either gray or white, your skin will start to sag and droop, your mind will deteriorate, and one day you’ll return to the Earth. A fate that tore his heart apart. He knew he was thinking selfishly, but he wanted to keep you by his side. He wanted to be with you until time ended, and even then, he’d find a way to be with you. And as a deity, there was a way to turn you immortal, to raise your title of mere mortal to deity. You both could rule the empty temple together, taking care of the geckos and bats that resided there. 
What do you say, dear? Won’t you rule by his side for eternity?
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kneelingshadowsalome · 1 year ago
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Christian Woman
(König x Nun!Reader)
Word count: 6.4 k Tags/warnings: Pining intensifies, religious despair intensifies, minor injuries, treatment of wounds, crying, enthusiastic kissing, König gets a few boners. 18+ for eventual smut in this story.
A/N: Don't tell me you wouldn't get horny scared too if you saw this tall guy suddenly emerging from the shadows in his full war gear :) There's a cute date night and a lot of angst in this chapter too, I tried to summon an actual plot here... As always, I need to explain why they’re bonking! But smut is coming, next and last chapter will be full of fluff and steamy first times (Reader is virgin!)
Part 2
You have a feeling that this is the last day you’ll see him.
The stranger from the Austrian Alps, the kindest mercenary you’ve ever met – the only mercenary you’ve ever met – the giant soldier who now carries a piece of your heart with him. You wonder if he even knows he owns it.
The morning prayers and mass are a chore and bring you no comfort, and the usual dawn bliss is gone. You find no delight in singing with your sisters, and withdrawing to your cell for solitary prayer feels like stepping back inside your own personal purgatory. 
You’ve been in heaven and in hell for days now. Maybe since the moment you met him...
But at the same time, you know it must’ve been the Lord who brought you together. There must be a reason for God to make you two meet, you refuse to think it’s only because He wishes to tempt you. There must be a bigger plan; the connection, as sinful and carnal as it is, has to serve some higher purpose.
And you wonder if you’re going mad, because your most sinful thought is that you actually see God in him. It’s just your lower instincts speaking, a demon of some sort that tries to misguide you because no man is like Lord Jesus. 
And yet, don’t they always preach that you meet Him in every person you meet? And that through you, other people meet God too…? 
This reasoning feels much better. It solidifies the mercy you’ve longed for during the brief weeks you’ve known this man who brashly calls himself König. You want to believe that he carries a spark of the Divine in him, and that you hold a grain of the Virgin Mary’s compassion and love in you. 
You decide to hold on to this thought: that you were meant to meet so that you could come to know God through each other. For in König, you see a suffering God, a crucified Christ who rises against evil by offering himself to the cruelty of men. Somehow, the image of him as a mortal man starts to twist into a divine, dark trooper, someone who battles the forces of the evil in this world.
And this reasoning leads you to think that it is only natural that you, a Sister of the Faith, have helped him find some rest and relief in the middle of his work. It’s pretty clear that König has found some solace in your company, and even if things have ventured into a forbidden area of low, simple lust, it’s not dark enough to taint the beauty and grace you've felt together. As long as you hold on to this purity, nothing can go wrong.
While praying for both of you that morning, you find yourself replaying the smiles and touches König has given you these past weeks. You know you will drown yourself in memories after he's gone because they are all you’ll ever have of him.
And they're more than enough.
Or at least they should be…
You feel a tiny dagger of guilt push into your heart, the place reserved for Christ, when you’re assigned to do some spiritual reading instead of helping out in the kitchen or organizing the small library. The appointed texts are about falling into temptation and sin, reminding you about the consequences of such actions. You read the passings with a heavy heart and then slip out to meet König, possibly for the last time.
You wear your everyday clothes to the café, and König says nothing about your sudden moral choice, only gives you another longing, enamored once-over. You keep him at arm’s length, both physically and emotionally, and the effects of this unexpected cold shower are immediate. The man doesn’t even try to disguise the sad, puppy-eyed stares he shoots your way. 
You hate it that the bright, playful air of your meetings is gone, and your heart is tearing itself apart in your chest because the only thing you wanted was to spread joy into his world. Even the Lord seems disappointed in you being so cold-hearted, and you can’t bear to see His sadness and suffering in König’s eyes.
You get offered not one, but two coffees today, and a large piece of dark chocolate cake that tastes of pure sin. He talks about how he would love to write to you, but you tell him you can’t be in correspondence with a man who isn’t your brother or father. König isn’t even married, so it would only raise questions – you would find yourself reading spiritual texts about lust and sin until it drives you crazy.
“I’m leaving early tomorrow,” he finally reveals with a voice thick with sorrow. “Can I see you before I go...? One last time?”
“I’d love to, but… I’m sort of being watched,” you say, slowly coming out of your shell to make it clear that you’d want to spend the rest of your life with him, but you simply just can’t.
Your weak, apologetic look is like a dose of confidence shot through his veins because the face opposite of you brightens immediately. König’s whole posture gets a hopeful uplift.
“Just for a little walk...? To see what the city looks like in the evening?”
“I don’t know if I can make it… I have to work until six... And attend the evening prayer at seven. And then silence starts at eight…” 
You’re wringing your hands under the table while you explain, hoping König will come up with a solution to this dilemma.
“We can go for a walk after silence, then,” he shrugs.
“I–I can’t just escape from the window.”
“...Why not?”
You look at König; he looks straight back.
The man’s serious about you sneaking out your window at night; he’s actually serious, even if there’s a dark, playful smile rising on his lips. 
“I can help,” he grins.
Your heart cracks open, it shoots full of light only more and more with that smile. König doesn’t need to ram a door down and shoot his way through your chest; all he has to do is sneak inside your heart and take the place that belongs to God. You don’t even feel the difference as he makes himself at home. 
Well, actually, you do... It’s like your Christ’s love and mercy have finally come to flesh and blood before you. They're materialized in the man sitting opposite of you, bouncing his knee excitedly and grinning like the most innocent little devil on Earth.
You find yourself whispering “Ok”, and the whole world shifts. 
You take a step towards something forbidden but great, your whole heart starts to sing along with life. You haven’t even done the actual thing yet but you’re already filled with bubbling laughter and excitement. If only your friend could see you now, about to do things she probably did when she was fifteen...
But everything feels so right that it can’t be a sin – if it is, it just so happens to be the most natural, most divine thing to do too.
If this is the last day you’ll ever see him, you can surely steal a tiny moment for yourself and forget about rights and wrongs for a moment. Just forget about the rules, and live in the actual world for a few hours, breathe the worldly air, see what normal people do and pretend you’re one of them, for just one night. 
You feel like Cinderella when picking clothes for the evening.
You rummage through the only closet in your room – during the time that should be spent in silent prayer before bed – and notice you still have your old jeans.
They’re light blue and still fit; actually, they fit more than well... You know that König’s eyes will be glued to your butt when you’re not looking.
You have completely forgotten how nice you look in jeans, and it’s the Devil talking, making you admire yourself in tight denim like this. You never cared about how you look before; you certainly never gave much thought to how men see you or if they’re checking out your butt or breasts. Now you’re grooming yourself like never before, trying to decide what to do with your hair as if your life depended on it.
You choose a simple, black t-shirt to pair with the jeans and not make it too obvious that you’re trying to flaunt yourself. It hugs your form but is otherwise plain, and for some people, your choice of clothing is probably their regular work outfit. To you, it feels like you’re about to go out to seduce everyone.
Everything’s so tight and earthly; everything’s so… there. Visible... Touchable.
Lord, have mercy on me. I know I’m weak. But please let me have this, just this once…
And König has seen you without makeup all this time, so what on earth has possessed you to lament the fact that you don’t own a single case of lipstick? You’d kill for a few sweeps of mascara, too, just to bat your lashes at a silly man.
It’s not a date, you remind yourself.
It’s not a date... It’s not a date. You’re just going to have a short walk with him.
And you fear that accepting König’s “help” was a mistake. If you get caught with a man on the convent perimeter, you’ll get your ass thoroughly whooped…
Can a man of his size even keep quiet?
He probably suggested it so that you wouldn’t chicken out of this. If König is at your window by 8 and there’s no sign of you, he’ll probably just come in, throw you on his shoulder and jump out. He knows where your window is located now, and surely has some questionable skills due to his profession, skills you know nothing about, but you’re still about to have a panic attack from pure excitement when the clock strikes 8. 
You push the window ajar and settle on the sill to keep watch, gasping when you hear his familiar accent down below as soon as the window is open.
“Kätzchen...”
“König…?”
You peek down and meet his stupid, grinning face – God, he’s so happy to see you kept your promise. His eyes are shining, his fingers interlock to help you have something to place your foot on. 
“Here, kitty, kitty…”
You could easily jump out the window without hurting yourself, but of course he wants to help you since you were so kind to tell him where he could come and "pick you up".
But to see that playful smile and hear him trying to coax you out like you’re some skittish little kitten…
Could a grown man get any more silly?
You wiggle yourself out the window, trying to ignore the fact that he’s probably staring at your butt, still grinning like crazy while you do it. 
SupportING your entire weight like it’s no trouble at all, he helps you down. You’ve never been this close to him since you bumped into him: you have to take support from his shoulders as you search for a footing, and he scoops you in his arms the minute both your feet are safely on the ground.
“I knew you’d come,” he purrs with joy, and you place your hands on his chest – not to keep him at bay, but to touch him in a way that is as appropriate as possible when a man is hugging you like this.
“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” you whisper, still unsure if this is the best or the worst decision of your entire life.
“Kitty… Live a little, hmm?”
You have to crane your neck to look up at him – you’re not sure if you’re in the embrace of Jesus or Lucifer because the warmth of those eyes compare to the love of God, but they also make you weak and helpless. Whenever you’re with your sisters, the feeling is pure, pristine love, not a surge of complex emotions and thrill like it is with König.
“You’re a bad influence,” you breathe – König only laughs, and the grip around you tightens. 
“My lady. You’re the one who climbed out the window.”
“Because someone would’ve probably thrown small rocks on it if I hadn’t…!”
“Natürlich. And if that didn’t work… A serenade or two. Do you like love songs?” 
You look down at his chest, smiling, heart fluttering at the thought of a silly Austrian man serenading under your window. You have no trouble imagining him singing something syrupy in German, waking everyone up with his racket.
“You’re crazy, did you know that...?” 
“Sure. They tell me that all the time at work. Aber du… Du bist süss.” 
“...What’s that?” 
His smile only widens as he takes in your lips, your neck, the tight shirt that finally gives him something more to look at.
“You’re cute.”
The whole evening is heavenly. 
It’s everything you’ve ever wanted from a date and more.
He doesn’t take you for a short walk, oh no. He takes you out to eat, at some lively restaurant where they serve delicious, artisan, wood-fired pizzas. You have créme brûlée for dessert, and König gives you his strawberries when he notices you eat them first, but only on one condition: you have to let him feed them to you one by one. 
He buys you a rose: a big, red, plump one. No man has ever bought you flowers before, and even if you love lush, abundant bouquets, the fact that he chose you a single red rose after you’ve spoken about the beauty of simplicity, doesn't escape you.
König hasn’t only listened to you these past few weeks: he gets you. And how symbolic is it that he chose a rose that’s also tied to all the mysteries of God?
You walk the streets with a flower in one hand and his palm in the other. It's a holy trinity of him and you and the Great Mystery, it’s passion and it’s thorns, it’s blood and beauty and pain, and you feel like he just gets you; he knows you through and through. 
You pass by an outdoor bar with live music, and the place is so crowded that people are dancing on the streets. No cars honk as they slowly pass by the scene, the music and the laughing, dancing pairs make even the grumpiest passersby smile.
It shouldn’t be a surprise that König pulls you to him before you get to escape the scene. You’re drawn flush against his chest, hips colliding with his, hands finding each other in a slow sway that has never even seen the steps of Latin dances.
“Nuns are allowed to dance, no?” 
He smiles dreamily, enveloped in the same sweet haze as you.
“Not with a man,” you correct, but don’t even bother to push him away. Instead, you let König guide his hand down your waist and draw you closer. If this isn't a date, you don't know what is...
“I can take the blame,” he says. “You can tell everybody it was me.”
“It doesn’t work that way,” you laugh. 
“Why not?” 
His eyes are glued to yours, making you warm all over, so much so that you feel like you’re burning from the neck up. You guide your stare down to his chest, then over to the quick heartbeat on his neck.
He's nervous, too... Your cruel soldier is nervous, and kind, and shy because he's pressed against you.
You rest your head there on his chest, watching the golden sunset far away, painting the rooftops with a genial glow. Your heart is made of molten gold, too, as you allow yourself find a home in his embrace.
“I can take your sins,” he promises above you. “Jesus did that too, right?”
“You’re not Jesus,” you smile against his shirt – black, always black...
“Are you sure? I would go to hell for you.”
Your dance comes to a halt as you swallow and lift your gaze. The smiles are gone now, both yours and his. He’s so close now he could touch your lips with his if he wanted to.
And he does want to.
You don’t shy away as he leans down to kiss you. It’s chaste at first, a slow exploration, but then he opens your mouth with his, demanding, hot, intoxicating. You melt in his arms, and he somehow supports you through it all, turning the dance into an embrace and the decent little kiss into a full French one.
It’s hot and wet and slow, so, so passionate that your knees are about to give in. You devour him back, feel how he grows hard against your stomach – the swelling erection makes you dizzy before you come to your senses, but only barely.
You break away an inch, panting into his mouth while he’s panting into yours. What a blessing that you don’t own any lipstick; both of your lips are red without it…
“This is–”
“Inappropriate?”
His voice is husky, and sends a flood of wetness down between your legs. Your heart is racing, but you can’t even note how terribly alive you are before he attacks your lips again.
The kiss is even more desperate than the first one, and the slow urgency is gone. His mouth leaves you without air, and then – he wraps his arms around you and picks you up from the ground like you weigh nothing. Your hands get squished somewhere between you, naturally coming to cup his face as you kiss him back. 
It’s eager, pure lust, so powerful and needy that it scorches through your chest and ties your heartstrings into tight little knots, makes your brows knit together, too.
He grunts into your mouth, sensing you’re more than up for this after all. You let him see the full depth of your hunger and your lust, just waiting to be released and taken – made love to until you’re both sore and messy and limp.
God… This is better than God…
You hear whistles and whoos in the distance, some men yelling, “Let’s go!” and “Get a room” while they pass by. Realizing you’ve fallen into a dream trap of strong arms and needy lips about to depart tomorrow, you know it's something you could have had years ago, perhaps, but not anymore. You'll lose everything if you break your vows tonight: basically, you’ve already broken them, but no permanent damage has been done.
You can still turn back if you turn back now…
You push yourself away, push him away, heart clenching when you see his adoring, love-drunk, half-lidded stare.
“I’m sorry,” you whisper, fighting back tears as you come down from your high. “I just–I can’t…”
He breathes labouriously, still clutching you against him, holding you in the air like you’re the thing he has searched for his entire life and now, finally discovered… Only to be told that he now has to put it back where he found it. 
You’re crying by the time he sets you down, and you have no heart or will to pull away. Instead, you bury your face in his chest and cry your fill in his shirt. It’s soon damp from your tears as König hugs and supports you through his own stoic heartbreak.
“I’m sorry... I’m sorry…”
You repeat it until you can’t repeat it anymore, bawling in his chest while the world around you continues to spin despite your heaven and hell, despite your vows, despite your stupid devotion. The world revolves like it always has, as you choose a crucified man over the one who’s flesh and blood and holds you through your pain.
“Kätzchen, don’t cry,” he pets your hair while you sniffle and tremble in his embrace. You know this is not the last time you will cry your heart out over him, but knowing it doesn't help you when he offers you his last, bittersweet comfort.
“It was a good dream while it lasted...”
The rose withers in your cell.
You turn it upside down and tie it to the curtain rod to prevent it from dropping its petals. It dries beautifully and keeps its bloodred colour, now reminding you of both Jesus and him. 
There hasn’t been a word from König in months, and of course there hasn’t. You denied his wish to write you, and the dried rose is the only thing left of your time with him. 
In the first weeks, it’s hard to keep up a charade. You show up to prayer, work and mass with red eyes, revealing to everyone that you’re going through a loss of some sort. Somewhere during the first week, the abbess summons you to meet her and you brace yourself for a scolding.
God knows you don’t need the rebuke, and when you close the door and turn to face the symbolic mother of the convent, you end up breaking into tears right in front of her.
“Whatever you were up to, my child, I am glad that it is over now,” she says with all the gentleness of the world. 
“Me too,” your voice breaks, and when the abbess extends her hands, you go to her, fall to your knees, and have another heartwrenching cry with your face in her lap.
You’ve denied yourself love and mercy for days, expecting to be expelled or shamed or ridiculed, but mercy is what you’re offered now, even after you’ve sinned.
The abbess caresses your hair just as softly as König did just days ago, and the fact that her kind gesture reminds you of some silly, infatuated soldier, only makes the breakdown worse. You bawl like a little child who’s deprived of candy, and you don’t even have the strength to berate yourself for it.
“I hope you haven’t done anything irredeemable...?” 
“No... Nothing happened,” you sob and look out of the rose window, desperate for sun while your head rests on a gentle but distant lap. 
Nothing happened except the most sinful, beautiful, lustful kiss of your life... Nothing happened except that you saw this man every time you could, held hands with him, swam in his smiles and affection, and went to bed with thoughts inappropriate for any human being. 
“The world tests us in many ways... But Lord never tests us. He only loves us.”
Something in that sentence finally quenches the neverending flow of tears. Your muscles start to relax, and you remember that this is the eternal truth: to surrender, over and over again, to a power far greater than you. 
The abbess never asks for details about what you have done. She never tells you you have sinned; you don’t need to be told that. The punishment has been dealt already: whoever ties herself to this world and its temptations will suffer exactly like this when the passion and excitement ends. The key to escaping its grip is to simply let go first, once and for all, surrender to the love of God, and trust that everything fill fall into place eventually.
“You must offer your mind and body to work now,” the motherly voice speaks above you. “Work, time and prayer will ease your pain.”
Work, time and prayer do ease the pain. 
They ease all pains, but it takes almost six months to stop thinking about him every hour of every day.
You’re proud of yourself when you find out one day that you haven’t thought about him at all. He just now crossed your mind when you remember how he used to smell: of salty seabreeze mixed with intoxicating musk, the scent of excitement and safety all in one. 
You could almost swear you catch a whiff of that particular scent in the yard when you go and water the flowers one evening, but it can’t be: he’s gone, and there’s nothing you can do about it, nothing you even want to do about it because you already made your choice. This path leads you to greater peace of mind in the long run, and you know you made the right decision even if it hurt you and König.
Sunsets still remind you of him, the colour of rose and gold mixed with endings, but the memories are now laced with bittersweet love rather than blunt despair and pain. The times you spent with him are a collection of brief, blissful moments, and you treasure every single one of them in your heart. You still pray for him, not every day, but nearly every day. You touch the rose when the hurt reaches its peak, but the last time you did that was almost a week ago.
And you thought you had forgotten his scent, but apparently, you have not. In fact, it seems to drift to your nose again, which is odd because you’re outside, after all…
“Kätzchen.” 
A whisper is hissed from the shadows just as you’re about to straighten and investigate, because either you’re going crazy or then there’s someone here who smells exactly like him.
You startle and almost drop the watering can, staring straight into the shadows under your window. The tallest man you’ve ever seen steps out from the dark in full combat gear, and while you can’t see his face because it’s covered with a draping black hood, you recognize it’s him simply from the way he moves. 
“Don’t be afraid. It’s me,” he rasps and tries to straighten from the slightly hunched position he’s in, but immediately falls back, then slants to lean on the wall. His gear is dirty, and he holds the side of his stomach with one hand, the lively blue eyes either drunk or very very tired.
“Dear God… What happened to you?”
You abandon the watering can and rush to him; it’s useless to ask if he’s injured when, clearly, he’s trying to prevent himself from slumping to the ground. 
He’s enormous and intimidating even when wounded, a soldier loaded with ammo and weapons and protective paddings and guards, wearing a hood and a helmet and a radio of some sort, his tactical gloves bloody and eyes droopy. The weapon by his side is almost half as tall as you, and God – is that a grenade strapped to his vest?
“I got compromised,” König looks down at the wound but doesn’t remove his hand. He looks so different, like another man entirely when he’s not dressed in his customary olive green pants and a casual black t-shirt. He seems even buffier now, even taller, so terrifying that you wonder if you ever even knew this man.
You must look like a frightened deer because König mistakes your horrified look as sweet, simple concern.
“Don’t worry... They have it much worse, I assure you,” he says with his usual grin – you can hear it from the way he says it that he’s smiling. But it’s so weary now, so exhausted and frail compared to his confident, playful laughs and that husky voice with which he spoke to you after your kiss.
“I came to ask for help,” he continues under his breath, wobbling even when leaning against a wall. “You’re the only one I can… trust.”
“Of course, anything. I will do anything I can.”
His eyes smile down at you from behind the executioner’s veil. It’s that same devoted stare you’ve been trying to dispel for months now. You give yourself a quick mental shake, then tell him to wait here while you go in and call for an ambulance. 
König bounces off the wall and seizes your hand, telling you he can’t go to a hospital and that, if anything, he must avoid any kind of public places. You don’t ask any further questions, even if you know you’re in a pickle now, and not only because those glacial eyes are making your knees weak again. There’s nothing much you can do: he’s wounded and still in danger, saying he can’t trust anyone else. Of course you have to help him in any way you can. If he says it’s not safe, then you must help him get somewhere where it is safe. 
And besides, aren’t you a nun? You’re supposed to help those in need. 
So when he asks you if there are any motels or a bed & breakfast nearby, you say you know just the place. 
It makes your heart bleed that König takes support from you while you slowly make your way down the street. A man of his size, a body trained to withstand whatever his job throws at him, seeking support from a frail little nun… It’s a joke, indeed, and a horrid one. 
When you get to the small place run by a humble old man, you don’t know who to feel more sorry for: the elder behind the counter or König, desperately trying to stay on his feet.
“I mean no trouble,” he says while pushing an unnerving amount of money across the table. “I just need a place to rest.”
The receptionist’s eyes dart to you, then back to König, who still has what you suppose is a loaded rifle dangling by his waist. The safety is on, probably, but there are also knives and grenades strapped to his person, and with that hood, he mainly looks like a terrorist of some sort.
“She’s here to help. See...? Bride of Christ. Even less trouble than I am.” 
You try to smile reassuringly as the man risks a better look at you now instead of being fixated on König or his weapons.
You must make an odd pair, a soldier and a nun... The old man probably has a ton of questions in his head right now.
“No shooting,” he says to you, but his words are directed at König.
“No shooting,” he promises. “No mess if no one knows we’re here. Ok...? You’ve never even seen us.”
The receptionist nods. Then he extends a trembling hand and takes the money, and hands out a key without taking any check-in information.
You go to König and help him up the small stairs and into his room paid with bloody money and a menacing appearance. The fitted carpet is old, and floral patterned, the room small and adorable and meant for visitors far more petite than König. The bedspread is old-fashioned and floral too and has never even seen blood, of that you are sure when König lays himself down with a grunt. 
You spend the next minutes – or hours, you can’t tell – in a tunnel-visioned fog as you do exactly as he says.
You help him out of his gear and weapons and lay them aside quickly but gently, you cut his shirt with an ugly-looking knife, then get a watered towel for him to press against the wound. You rush back to his tactical vest and search for a first aid kit and some medicine, and start to treat his wounds per his advice.
The sun sets in the window, and you patch up your injured soldier with care, trusting his word when he says it’s only a flesh wound and that it looks far worse than it is.
“I should get shot more often,” he purrs when you’re cleaning the rest of the blood off his skin.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” you scold, trying to focus on your task and not the vast plates that make his chest. Or the thick abs, right there under your fingertips… Or the fact that he has incredibly narrow hips, and a luscious breath of dark hair leading from his navel down and underneath the waistband of his pants. 
You suppose this is what your friend calls a happy trail...
And it does make you very happy.
You don’t dare to look beyond that because the pants he usually wears aren’t as tight as these, and you fear he’ll catch you checking out his junk in an attempt to see if your friend was correct about his size. 
To your blessing – or your curse – you don’t even have to look straight at it to see he’s having an erection. You can actually see from the corner of your eye how König grows hard while you’re treating him – it’s right there, a robust tent that rises beside you while you concentrate on wiping off the blood. 
“Pay no mind to that,” he says thickly and completely without shame. “It just happens… Can’t control it.”
He breathes a bit too heavy for someone who’s lying down, and you fear it’s because of the blood loss. But then you start to suspect it’s probably because all the remaining blood has gone between his legs… He doesn’t even try to tone down the heated, obsessive stares he shoots your way, and you suppose he’s either missed you very much, or then there’s a fever rising after all. You’re not sure if you’re glad or disappointed that the bullet didn’t scrape his leg instead.
“I missed you,” he says like he just read your thoughts. He whispers the sentence slowly and with purpose, saying it like a long-withheld secret.
“I missed you too,” you whisper back. 
Gosh… Here you are, a silly little nun who’s tried to get over a crush for six months, crying after him at night and caressing his rose during the day. You’ve been petting a withering flower some mercenary gave you in hopes of getting into your pants, you’ve fawned over memories of a few smiles and a kiss, all the while the said mercenary has killed people for money and now got shot. He came here to work again, but never sent a message, he only came to see you when he was injured… 
...And you’re glad he did. If a bullet was needed to bring him back to you, then you’re grateful for it, no matter how horrible it is.
“Did you ever… find someone?” You ask while keeping your gaze fixed on his navel instead of the raging bulge in his pants.
“Someone, who?”
“Someone to hold hands with.”
He gives a strained laugh. “Ah. No. No time for that.”
You swallow, and slowly guide your eyes to his.
“Are you still happy with your crucified man?”
Ouch.
“I… I don’t know.”
His brows knit together; you can see it even in the dim light of the table lamp, you can see it even if there’s some godforsaken black war paint all over his face under that hood.
There’s a distant hurt in his eyes before he blinks softly, slowly.
“I wrote to you, Braut Christi... Many times. Never sent the letters… They’re still in my room, at the base.”
Your heart skips a beat. 
He hasn’t had “time” for women, yet has written you letters all these months. He’s written letters while you’ve caressed a rose…. 
You wonder if hearts can find each other, even through a distance, and if you’ve felt the urge to go to the flower he gave you at the same time König has gotten the desire to write another letter to you. It’s bittersweet, like this whole thing between you two, the mystery that both brings you together and rips you apart. 
“I wish I hadn’t… I wish I...” you start, but can’t bring yourself to finish.
“Liebling. I should’ve sent them anyway.”
You go get rid of the bloodied paper towels before you start to cry in front of him.
God… You’re not only in a pickle, you’re neck-deep in trouble, and you only notice you forgot to wash your hands when you return to him.
He reaches for your hand and gives it a gentle squeeze. Peace settles in, even if there’s blood on your hands and the man you adore is lying next to you, patched up with the help of a first aid kit when he should be lying in a hospital, receiving treatment and care.
There’s a knife and a pistol tucked under the bedspread, next to his hand, and the fact that he’s still prepared to fight anyone who tries to come through that door underlines the fact that you two come from very different worlds. König is more than just a rose buying, coffee offering gentleman, he's more than just a silly guy who threatens to sing serenades under your window if you don’t come out to play with him.
You’re not sure if you’re more enamoured or scared.
“You’re an angel,” he rasps from the bed as you try to swallow the tears that refuse to go down.
“No I’m not.” 
“Yes, you are.”
A teardrop falls on the innocent floral bedspread as you wish you were in this room as a married couple instead of an injured, horny soldier and a childish nun in love. Spending your honeymoon or something, getting some rest after an eventful day in town, choosing this absurd old Bed & Breakfast as your place to stay for the night.
You wish you were doing anything else than treating his wounds, lethal or not.
“Are you crying?”
His voice is gentler than you even remembered. Six months of despair have turned him into a dark, alluring trickster when he’s really just a man, a big, amazing, tender man who’s multifaceted, multitalented, and always kind.
He's about to fall asleep, and it’s no wonder. The events of the evening have left you drained, too. You kneel beside his bed, too tired to even sit on a chair, wondering if he’ll die from his wounds tonight or get hunted down by the people who still want him dead. 
“I wish you would stop killing people... I wish you would stop getting killed.” 
You must look silly, kneeling beside a giant soldier’s bed, crying and holding his hand between yours as if praying. But his eyes smile at you, and while you’d want nothing more than to see his face again, you realise you kind of like König this way. Masked and menacing and mean to his enemies, but stripped down to his soul when he’s with you.
“I wish you would stop praying... And start living,” he mutters gently.
“Praying helps sometimes,” you whisper.
In truth, you wish you’d start living, too. You always thought you were brave when you said ‘no’ to the world. Perhaps you were only running away from it…
The hand is warm but not feverish. His breaths start to even, and his lids get heavier; his thumb gives you a small caress before he drifts off to sleep.
“Perhaps that’s why I’m still here, Kätzchen.”
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