#gotta thank my b for some feedback on this

[quacky-art]

[featherandferns]

Could I pretty please request:

We might have a problem...Ask me again in twenty minutes.

This sounds so much fun. I can’t wait to see what you do with it, everything you write is absolute magic<3

8. We might have a problem...Ask me again in twenty minutes.

idk which part of the series I'm taking this road chase from lmao just go with it! sorry it took me so long to get to these lmao

Neutral - prompt 8

“Guys! They’re getting closer!” Kiara calls out. 

“I hate this! I hate all of this!” you loudly announce. 

“Yeah, thank you, baby, keep that feedback coming - it’s very helpful,” JJ mutters. 

His hands are clenching the wheel tight, knuckles white, focus trained dead ahead on the road. Speed limits are a thing of the past: a nicety that all of you have long since abandoned. Anxiety is pulsing through your veins, somehow sharpening and blurring your vision. In the dark streets of Kildare, your headlights illuminate the road ahead. Behind, are square-groupers. Some gang or another that you had collectively managed to tick off during one of your many adventures. It was becoming far from a coincidence that you all managed to find yourself in these situations time and time again. 

“They’re gaining!” Cleo tells you through her thick accent. 

Your head snaps around to look through the rearview. She was right. What kind of car were they driving? 

“JJ!” you shout. 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m on it,” he says underbreath, shifting up a gear, picking up the speed. The Twinkie grunts at the effort and your brows tug together, eyes glancing down to the bonnet that you can see through the front window. 

“Pope! How’s it looking?” JJ asks his friend in the back. Pope inspects the roadmap, trying to make out the street names through the dimly lit back of the van. “Pope!”

“Just give me a minute!” 

“We don’t have a minute!” three of you chorus. 

“Oh my God, this is how we die,” Sarah very usefully says to herself. You see your boyfriend roll his eyes, aggravated, stressed and driven. 

“Pope, there’s a fork coming up,” you say, making out the road layout ahead. You glance to JJ and notice he isn’t slowing down. Then, to Pope. Then, to the road. “Pope!”

“Left! Take a left!”

JJ slams on the breaks, pulls up the handbrake, shifts down a gear, and toggles with the clutch. It happens in a split second, a chaotic collection of events that is blurred into one. Everyone in the van goes flying: you into the side window, gasping out in pain at the collision. Turning the wheel tight, JJ practically skids onto the road. The engine revs like a monster truck. And then, it makes the most blood chilling, mechanic-concerning noise you’ve ever heard. JJ tries to do something with the gear shift and it wiggles uselessly in place. 

“Uh oh,” he mumbles. 

“Uh oh? What’s ‘uh oh’?” you panic, studying him. He cringes and looks at the road. 

“Uh…We might have a problem,” he says, trying to keep his tone chipper. 

“We might have a problem?” you echo, bewildered. 

“Ask me again in twenty minutes,” JJ flippantly says. He keeps driving ahead, foot hard on the pedal, but something sounds different this time. Something feels different too. 

“JJ,” John B says in a rather levelled out tone. The kind that hints at a deeper anxiety. “Please don’t tell me you’re driving this in neutral right now?”

“Look, man, the axel must have–”

“Oh no.”

“We’re coasting?” 

“At seventy miles per hour!” 

“Look! I don’t control the fates, a’right! We gotta loose these guys!” JJ argues back, lifting one hand from the wheel to wave everybody off. You reach out and slam it back onto the grip; the last thing you need is him to lose control of the car. 

“Oh my God, we’re actually going to die,” Sarah repeats, and this time, you don’t entirely disagree. It feels like a real possibility now. 

“Kie! Are they still tailing us?” JJ calls out. Everyone looks through the back window. A new layer of tension has stacked inside the van. 

“I don’t see them,” she says, the road behinds nothing but a dark abyss. “Maybe turn down a side road just to be safe?”

“Great, yeah, just make a turn in neutral,” you mutter. 

“Baby, I gotta admit, if you keep that kinda attitude up, I might actually end up crashing this car,” JJ tells you. Your mouth falls open. 

“Don’t tell me something like that!”

“Just make the turn!” John B demands. 

“He’s right, man!” Cleo agrees. 

“There’s a side road coming up in about ten yards or so,” Pope informs. 

JJ nods and you immediately steel yourself in your seat. You check your seatbelt and grip the bottom of the chair, and you wait for him to slow down. He does, but not by much, and when he finally braves the corner, you make peace with your maker. 

Thankfully, no collision comes. The engine rumbles off and the gang lets out a collected sigh of relief. Slowly opening your eyes, you glance over to see your boyfriend staring blankly at his grip on the wheel. He eventually looks over at you and a smile comes onto his face. 

“What’d I tell you, huh? Nothing to worry about.”

“You owe me noodles,” you tell him, unimpressed, and get out the truck. The others follow suit and Sarah actually staggers over to some trash cans, worried she might vomit. JJ heads to the car bonnet and cracks it open. Smoke billows out with steam and he waves it away, John B and Cleo coming to join him in their inspection. You wander over to help console Kie and Sarah. 

“Yep, that’s what I thought!” JJ announces. You look over to him to find a piece of mechanics held up in a bandana. “The gear shift is fucked!” Your eyes narrow at him for his chipperness. He owes you even more noodles now.

[gor3-hound]

LET SLEEPING DOGS LIE - JOEL MILLER

ft. joel miller x puppy hybrid!reader

a/n: i'm actually very proud of this fic ngl to you guys. been wanting to write for tlou for the LONGEST time and... you know i had to make my debut w joel :3 first time trying to dive into writing more than just smut, so lemme know what you think !! rbs and feedback always appreciated !! thank you @ama-szn for betaing x

cw: 18+ content, brief mention of sarah and guilt, grinding, p in v, creampie, grinding, slight cockwarming, praise, puppy gets used a lot... joel being snappy and a mild asshole at times, tail play???

word count: 4.1k words

Now, Joel isn't always the smartest guy around. He has a tendency to get a little blunt, to put it nicely, and he isn't the type to do charity work. Being nice has never done him any favours, so he sees no point in acting all buddy-buddy just for the hell of it.

In saying that, he's starting to think he has a problem collecting strays. It started with Ellie, and now he's starting to see a habit forming when he comes across you. By all accounts, he should have left you in the corner of that beat up store. You'd been a good enough distraction to the Clickers with your incessant whining that Joel could have snuck by undetected.

Well, like he said, he's got a stray problem — and it's hardly good manners to leave a girl in trouble when he can help out. He aims his pistol, frowns as you flinch at the sounds of the shots as he takes them down. Lucky for the both of you, there's only two of them, but he still uses way more ammo than he'd like.

Joel has to double take when he gets a good look at you, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water as he crouches in front of you. He has half a mind to put a bullet through your skull, but something about the way you look has him hesitating. You're a cute enough girl, a little scruffy looking, maybe, but cute nonetheless. That isn't what has him staring at you like you're some kind of exhibit, though.

"You got... are those fuckin' ears, kid?" He tries to keep his voice low, not only 'cause you're shaking so hard you're practically vibrating, but he doesn't want to find out if those Clickers had any buddies nearby. He tenses up slightly when he notices movement behind you, his brows furrowing as he squints to get a closer look. "Don't tell me that's a tail you're hidin' back there."

Your ears perk up slightly at the sound of his voice, your eyes flicking over his face as your whines die down. You lift the tail, showing off the dirt-ridden, matted fur before letting it flop to the floor once again, tilting your head to the side.

"I'll be damned... Now I'm seein' things." Joel is almost sure that you're a hallucination, or maybe he's finally snapped. He reaches out, pokes the tip of your right ear. It's hard for him to stop himself from frowning when the fur is soft and warm underneath his fingertips, the thing twitching under his touch. They sure don't seem fake. He isn't seeing things, you're real and you're sitting right in front of him. "Can you talk, girl? I'm startin' to feel like a crazy old man, here.”

You blink at him slowly for a moment, like you have to think hard about his words. You nod your head softly, your eyes not straying from him. Your voice is quiet when you reply, breathless and shaky. “Y-yeah… I can talk.”

"Well. That's somethin’.” Joel lets out a breath he didn’t realize he'd been holding in. There's a moment of relief that washes over him in a wave. At least he isn't going completely insane, unless he's hallucinating your voice, too. "We gotta get movin', girl. The gunshots would've gotten every infected for miles gatherin' round, we don't have much time before they come sniffin' around here to see what's goin’ on.”

You nod once again, pushing yourself to your feet. He can see your features a little better now, and he tries not to let his eyes linger on that tail of yours for too long.

You don't seem like much of a talker, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. At least you won't go yapping at him when he's gotta concentrate. It wouldn't do either of you any good if he went and got killed because you couldn't keep your trap shut. You're probably the quietest stray he's managed to pick up. Ellie can talk for hours when she gets going, which...is most of the time, if he's being honest. You're more cautious than she ever was, though, watching him carefully as he stands and takes a look around the room to gather supplies.

Joel checks back on you, not missing the way you're shivering. He frowns, taking off his jacket before holding it out to you. "Here, put this on.”

You don't take the jacket, or so much as answer him. His frown deepens, and he lets out a frustrated sigh, pulling the jacker over your shoulders. “It's just a damn jacket. It won't kill ya.”

The way you stare at him is starting to get unnerving, so he turns away from you to continue throwing anything of use into his backpack. Store's already been raided, though, so he seems to be left with the scraps. Just his luck — scraps and strays. All he ever seems to get.

“Thanks.” You end up saying softly after a moment, and when Joel looks back at you again, that little tail is wagging and you're wearing his jacket properly. He catches himself smiling, so he's quick to turn away, grabbing the map from his backpack before zipping it up. He's always had a thing for pretty girls in his clothes, but he's not gonna admit that.

“Don't mention it, kid.”

˗ˏˋ ☆ ˎˊ˗

It's been about a week since Joel first saw you, and he's doing his best to keep his distance. You seem to settle in fairly nicely in Jackson — or, at the very lease, you fit in well enough with Ellie. Joel's having more than enough conflicting feelings around you to last a lifetime, and you're just a pup. You're already having to adjust to a new environment, you don't need someone like him confusing things.

That doesn't mean he can't watch you from afar, though. He's not sure he'd be able to stop himself if he tried. He can't help but watch as you and Ellie play together, noting how much brighter and happier you look since that day he saved you. Your tail wags so fast it's a blur behind you, your fur soft and fluffy now that it's been washed and brushed out.

Joel likes you more than he'd care to admit. He's already got enough people to worry about, between Tommy and Ellie, and everyone else in the damn community. He doesn't need to add you to that list.

Problem is, Ellie's gotten to know Joel, and she still hasn't grown out of being a little shit. As soon as she catches him sitting a little ways away from where she's playing with you, she decides it'd be real funny to throw the stick right at him. Joel barely has the time to catch the thing before you're on him, practically tackling in an attempt to get it from him.

“Alright… alright.” His tone comes out a little harsher than intended, and he can't help but feel bad as you shrink back, those fluffy ears pressing down against your head. Your tail stopped wagging, too, and you're giving him that kicked dog look. Makes him feel like a monster.

“Shit, I didn't mean-” He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose after he sets the stick down, patting his lap for you to come closer again. He reaches out, scratching the base of one of your ears with a small smile. “You're alright, girl. Just… easy, yeah? No need to jump all over me.”

That seems to placate you enough, and all seems to be forgiven. You nod and lean into his touch, that cute tail of yours picking up tenfold. There's something oddly soothing about petting you, so he decides to indulge you a little, leaning back against the porch railings as he sits on the steps.

It isn't until he notices your droopy eyes and the way you're slowly inching closer to him, practically curled up on his lap, that he realizes the sun is setting, and he wasted most of the day with you. He can't bring himself to mind.

˗ˏˋ ☆ ˎˊ˗

What is it they say about stray dogs? You feed them once, and they're yours? Joel can't recall, but he's sure he's somehow managed to adopt a little pup with how you cling to him. He tried locking you out of his room one night, and he couldn't sleep with the way you clawed at the door, whining and whimpering to be let in.

You sleep with him now, and he can't say he dislikes the warmth your body brings when he curls up with you every night.

He's got his arm curled around your waist, that fluffy tail of yours resting between his legs and still somehow wagging as he spoons you. He can't help but rub little circles into your stomach with his thumb, his nose pressed against the nape of your neck. For a moment, he finds himself wondering how receptive you'd be if he started kissing the skin there, letting his breath ghost the spot where your baby hairs rest.

That's a dangerous line of thinking, one that he quickly snaps out of. He lets out a sigh, closing his eyes to try and get some rest. You must sense that he's tense, cause you start wriggling around in his arms until you're facing him.

“Joel?” You breathe out, nuzzling his neck with your nose. He can feel your breath on him, and he grits his teeth not to make an audible sound as you lick at him. It's supposed to be a comforting gesture, but it has him squirming for a whole number of reasons.

“I can feel you worryin’, pup. You ain't gotta stress about me.” He murmurs, gripping your hair gently to pull your face away from his neck. He can't focus with your tongue on him like that.

“You look sad.” You whine, pulling against the grip of his hair to keep licking at him. He knows you're just trying to cheer him up, but it's really not helping the way his dick is starting to swell. It's not your fault, you don't know what you're doing to him, but he feels sick letting himself get turned on by your innocent actions.

“Just - go to fuckin’ bed, alright?” He snaps, tugging you away hard enough he knows it probably stung a little. His mouth grows dry, an apology on the tip of his tongue as he watches you retreat, eyes shining with unshed tears.

“C'mon, girl. I didn't mean that, I just…” He sighs, rubbing a hand over his face, his features etching into a frown. “Look, just… c’mere, alright? I'm sorry.”

He shifts so he's lying on his back, doing his best to make sure you don't press up against him when he's in this state. He holds an arm out, and you come rushing forward, tucking yourself against his side. You really are like a dog, always running back to him. He doesn't like how it makes him feel.

His jaw tenses as he shuts his eyes, trying to block out the guilt festering in him as he feels wet tears against the front of his shirt. He can hear your quiet sniffles, but he has no idea how to comfort you, so he doesn't.

Joel does what he does best — pretends the issue isn't there. He scratches behind your ears until you drift off, but sleep doesn't come for him that night. He spends the rest of his time staring at the ceiling, waiting for the morning sun to come through the widows before he carefully removes himself from your slumbering form.

He presses a soft kiss to the top of your head, tucking the covers around your body before he leaves the room. What he needs right now is a cold shower and a little hunting trip with Tommy to keep his mind off of things.

˗ˏˋ ☆ ˎˊ˗

The first thing he's greeted with after returning from his supply run is a sobbing pup. He didn't expect to see you so worked up — barely giving him enough time to dismount his horse before you were clinging to him, ears pulled back on your head and tail limp as you cried into his chest.

“Hey… hey, now. What's the matter, girl?” He whispers, dropping his bag to the floor so he can hug you back, one hand sliding down your back to scratch the base of your fluffy tail. “C'mon, now. I wasn't gone for that long, was I?”

“You didn't say bye.” Your words are muffled against his chest, that whiny tone still in your voice, but he can see the way your tail starts moving at his touch. Makes him feel a bit better about leaving you so suddenly. “You always say bye…”

“I didn't do it on purpose, sweetheart. You were sleepin’.” He says with a chuckle, unable to hide his amusement as you pressed against him. Felt like you were trying to become a part of him with how desperately you attempted to get closer.

“But… you were gone, and… I didn't know where you went.” You whisper, hands gripping onto his shirt tight enough that the fabric stays wrinkled when you let go in favor of hugging him.

“Doesn't mean I was leavin’ you. Just had to get some supplies.” He replies, even if it's technically a lie. It can never hurt getting some more stuff, but a group only went patrolling the day before he left. He did need the time away from you, to clear his head. He just couldn't let you know that.

“And, hey. I was thinkin’ of you the whole time. I even got you a lil’ somethin’.” He says after a moment, grabbing your shoulders to pry you off of him. He ignores the ache in his heart at your little whine in favor of unzipping his bag, holding something up and squeaking it.

Your eyes light up at the sound, and he really can't help the smile that spreads across his face at the sight. He throws the squeaky ball and watches you chase after it, laughing when you return with it in your mouth, biting down over and over to hear the noise.

“There we are. That's my girl.” He murmurs, ruffling your hair before wrapping an arm around your shoulder, squeezing you against his side. “C'mon, let's go and find Ellie. We got some catchin’ up to do, don't we?”

˗ˏˋ ☆ ˎˊ˗

Joel must be getting soft with old age. That's really the only explanation for what's going on. He's letting you sit on him like you're a damn lapdog all because you looked like you wanted a cuddle.

You look so damn cute, too. That tail of yours is going to be the death of him. Joel's heart does not flutter when you smile all prettily at him, nor does it flutter when you rub your face against his neck like you're trying to get his scent all over you.

No. Joel's heart is as cold as ice. He doesn't get warm, fuzzy feelings from cute puppy hybrids, and he certainly doesn't clear his throat to stop himself from saying something unbelievably sappy and embarrassing.

“You comfy there, darlin’? Like havin’ me take care of ya?” He murmurs, not missing the way his breath catches in his throat when you hum in agreement, licking at his skin. You don't seem to notice, so he doesn't mention it. Small mercies.

Maybe it's the whiskey, or maybe it's the way your warmth seeps into him and makes his heart race that has his brain malfunctioning, but he can't stop himself from saying what's been on his mind the past few weeks.

“You're such a pretty girl…” He whispers, nuzzling his nose against your hairline before pressing a gentle kiss there. His hands slide down to your waist, giving you a little squeeze. “So fuckin’ pretty. My pretty pup, ain't ya, sweetheart?”

That tail picks up again and he chuckles, sliding a hand down your back to scratch the base of your tail, tuning in to the steady thump, thump, thump of it slapping against his thighs. He gives your tail a little squeeze, stroking his hand over the fur.

“Ain't no hidin’ how you really feel with a tail like that.” He says with a small laugh, eyes locked onto the way your tail moves as he leans forward, pressing kisses down the side of your throat. He grins against your skin as your tail starts wagging faster, his teeth grazing your sensitive flesh.

“Yeah? Y’like that, puppy?” He coos, the hand on your tail shifting to grab your ass, giving the plump flesh a little squeeze. The feeling of it has him groaning, his cock already starting to fill out. It's been a long, long time since he's gotten laid, and he'd be lying if he said he hasn't been having some conflicting feelings surrounding you as of late.

All he gets is a whine in response, your body shifting just a little closer to him. Joel grabs your hips, pushing you down against his lap so he can grind up against you, a grunt spilling past his lips. He glances back at your tail, rutting against you with more force when he sees the steady wag, the sight of it making his cock twitch with interest.

“God. Good fuckin’ girl.” He breathes out, rocking you against him for another minute before it gets too much for him. He can feel you soaking the fabric of your shorts, and he’s starting to get a little dizzy with all the blood in his body rushing south. He’s so hard it hurts, and he can’t help himself as he tugs off your shorts and underwear in one tug, unbuttoning his jeans and yanking his boxers down just enough so he can free his length from the constricting fabric.

You’re so wet he can sink into you in one thrust, holding you steady as he buries his face in the crook of your neck, panting softly as he takes a moment to catch his bearings. He presses his lips to the skin there, trailing kisses along the column of your throat. You’re so wet and tight and warm, and it's a struggle for Joel not to blow his load early with how much you’re squeezing around him.

”Pretty, pretty girl. You’re doin’ so well.” He murmurs as he starts to thrust up into you, the sounds of your little gasps and moans making his head spin. His grip on your hips tightens so he can guide you up and down his length, helping you move with every drag of his cock. The room fills with slick sounds as he fucks up into you, his head tilting back as he lets out a breathy moan.

He leans forward to kiss you, swallowing your whimpers as he slides his tongue into your mouth. The taste of smoke and whiskey lingers between the two of you, his teeth biting down on your bottom lip to give it a little tug before he pulls away, running his tongue over his teeth. He starts to bounce you on his cock, grunting as your walls flutter around him as he pounds into you. He reaches around to grip your tail, tugging on it to encourage you to keep riding him. His fingers play with the fur there, the upper half of your tail continuing to wag where it’s free from his hold.

”Makin’ such a mess, sweetheart. Soakin’ my jeans.” He huffs, grinding his tip against your sweet spot before he pulls you up by the tail, leaving only the tip of his cock in before yanking you back down with a groan. You’re so wet you’re dripping all down his shaft, soaking his balls and making the fabric bunched up beneath them wet with arousal.

”Gonna make you cum for me, pup. Then I’m gonna fill you up. You want that, girl?” He grits out between thrusts, brows pinching together as he watches you nod eagerly. He has to bite his lip to stop himself from moaning too loudly as his words make your cunt clench around him, trying to milk him dry.

”Alright, alright. I got you, doll.” He lets go of your tail, grabbing your hips to bury himself to the hilt inside of you. He adjusts the both of you a little so he can make you grind against his pelvis while keeping him nice and deep. He rocks your hips, making you grind your clit against his happy trail, his eyes squeezing shut for a moment at the friction the movement brings.

”Shit-“ He hisses as he feels you tensing around him, your orgasm sending him over the edge right after you. His jaw clenches as he shoots ropes of cum deep inside of you, his body slumping against the couch when he’s left spent and twitching inside your needy cunt.

”Just…” He starts after a moment, hands moving to rub up and down your back gently, coaxing you to lean against him. “Stay like this for me, yeah? You did good, pup. Such a good girl.”

He relaxes when you snuggle up to him, his softening cock nestled deep inside of you. There’s something oddly comforting about it, and it’s not long before he’s got his face buried in the crook of your neck, slowly dozing off as he runs his fingers through the fur on your tail. He thinks he could get used to this. He’s really starting to like having you around.

˗ˏˋ ☆ ˎˊ˗

Joel's gotten into the habit of leaving you with Ellie when he has to go on those long patrols. He's never sure if he's gonna make it back, and there's no one in the world he trusts with you more than Ellie. He knows if something went wrong, the two of you would look after eachother, and that's enough to lessen the gnawing anxiety building in his chest whenever he has to leave.

Last thing he expects to see when he pushes open the door to his room is you and Ellie sleeping all curled up on his bed. It catches him off guard for a moment, but it's not long before a small smile breaks its way onto his face. He brushes some hair out of Ellie's eyes and leans down to press a kiss to your forehead, giving you a small scratch behind the ears.

He sneaks his way out of the room, settling himself on the couch. He knows his back’s gonna be protesting the sleeping arrangement, especially after slumming in the past few days on the ground, but he can't find it in himself to care. He curls up awkwardly, letting out a grunt when his too-big frame can't fit fully on the couch.

Despite his discomfort, he feels content for the first time in a long while. He hasn't felt this kind of happiness since Sarah. For once, the thought that he could be happy without her, no matter how much he mourns her, doesn't fill him with dread. The guilt is still there, the thoughts of 'what if', but he lets himself feel them. He knows they're never gonna leave him, and there's no point trying to force them away.

He never wants to forget Sarah, to replace her. There's always gonna be a massive space in his heart that's taken up by her, and there's no one that's gonna change that. But for once, he thinks he's happy with the little family he's got. The strays he's collected. He knows he can honor her memory by doing his best to survive, act like a dad she could've been real proud of.

Joel isn't a very religious man, but he knows he'll see his daughter again, one day. He cries himself to sleep that night, but for once the sobs that rack his body aren't filled with dread. It isn't him giving up, sitting around feeling sorry for himself.

They're tears of exhaustion, yes. But also relief. Hope. He can start again, live his life how he should've been these past few years. Really live, instead of just forcing himself to keep pushing through. Not just for you, but for Ellie. Tommy, too.

His family.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Silver Lining 10

Warnings: non/dubcon, speech impediment, bullying and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

Characters: silverfox!Bucky Barnes

Summary: You have an unpleasant encounter with an older man.

Part of the Silverfox AU

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

You turn onto the sidewalk, the world turning white with the snowstorm. Your boots slip, untied and loose on your feet, as you put your head down against the swirling flakes. All sound is dampened by the thick heaps on the ground and the continuous flurry all around.

It takes you a moment to get your bearings. You’re pretty sure you’re going the right way. You should’ve paid more attention on the drive over. There’s a lot of things you should’ve noticed before now.

You slip on a thick patch of snow and catch yourself on one knee. You blink as snow clings to your eyelashes as you peer around. Your ears are whistling but hot with the plummeting temperature and you can barely see the glove on your own hand. If the bus even comes, it won’t be for some while, and it will be at least one transfer to get back to familiar ground.

You squeak in fright as you feel a tug on the back of your coat, then a hand on your arm. You’re hauled back to both feet and turn to face your accoster. Bucky doesn’t wear a coat as his silver hair collects white powder and he squints against the wind.

“H-hey,” you try to pull away.

“It’s bad out. You won’t make it–”

“St-stop!” You holler in a pitchy tone, “I-I-I’m fine.”

“I can’t let you go out into this,” he insists, “look around,” he points to the house nearest but you can’t see much through the wall of white pelting down, “power’s out. Plows won’t be for a while. Come back, just until the roads are cleared.”

“N-no, I’m f-f-fine. I c-c-can take care o-of myself,” you wriggle free of his grasp.

“I know you can,” he puts his hands up as snowflakes melt into the fabric of his shirt, “please, they got travel warnings out. You can’t be out here right now.”

“Why w-w-won’t you l-leave m-me alone? Y-y-you don’t e-e-even l-like me,” you accuse.

He’s quiet, face contorted against the whipping snow, his cheeks tinged slightly with the cold. He shakes his head, “I never said that.”

“Y-you don’t g-gotta.”

“Well,” he grabs your elbow and yanks you around, “I don’t hate you.” He marches you down the walk, your soles slipping, making resistance perilous, “so get inside.”

“W-w-woah,” you stumble as he keeps a brisk pace, his soles mulching into the layers of snow, “s-slow–”

He takes you back down the walk towards his house. The pool of sick you spat up is already hidden. He shoves you ahead of him as you get to the steps and follows you closely, reaching around you, nearly flush to your back, to open the door. He points you inside.

You kick your boots off and clamour in onto the mat. You turn to face him as he snaps the door shut behind him. He combs his fingers into his hair, messing it up to shake off the snow. You ball your fists as you stare at him, dizzy from the suddenness of your return.

“You have no idea, do you?” He sneers. “You go out there without a thought. A storm like this is dangerous, you know?”

“J-j-jeez,” you chatter, “you s-sound like my dad.”

He growls as he rips his boots off, shaking his head, “sounds like a smart man.”

“B-B-Bucky, I would b-be f-f-fine–”

“I made you tea before the power cut,” he interjects, “drink it, wait for the storm to calm. Then you can tell me to fuck off. How about that?”

“I d-d-didn’t–”

“Are you so unused to people giving a shit about you that you can’t accept a single nice thing?” His voice rises, startling you. “I mean, I heard your mother on the phone, I hate to put my nose where it doesn’t belong but Jesus Christ–”

“H-hey,” you murmur meekly, but not loud enough to stop him.

“You’re a smart girl, you just don’t give yourself a chance because you got all these other idiots dumping on you,” he rants at you with his hand in the air, “you shouldn't listen to them. You’re thirty years old, goddamnit, and you wrote a damn good script.”

You blink at him dumbly. He cringes as he seems to remember himself, to recall that he’s a grumpy old man, and that you’re just some irritating bug flying around his head. He lifts his hand to the back of his neck and scratches as you sway and look at the carpet.

“Take your coat off and come get your tea before it gets cold,” he sidles past you, brushing closer than you expect. He stalks off behind you but you’re too nervous to look after him. You hear another raspy hiss, “fuck…”

You put your armful down on the low bench, your movements slow and slightly shaky. You wet your chapped lips with your tongue as you stare at the door. You shrug off your coat and hang it on the rack then leave your boots on the rack.

You turn to face the house and wring your hands. Somehow, he can make hospitality seem like an attack. You hear the gales battering outside the walls as the snow continues to trim the window frames. He’s right, you were just as stupid as ever to go out into that. You’ll never tell him that though.

You slowly traipse down to the kitchen and find him there. He has his elbow on the counter as he leans over a mug and a book. There’s a booklight clipped to the top of the page in the dim of the power outage. Another glow comes from behind him, a candle lit and flickering with the scent of burning wood.

As you approach, he slides a mug towards you without looking up. You thank him in a mousy voice and let the warmth of the porcelain soothe you. You inhale the scent, it’s an interesting flavour but still steaming too hot too taste.

“Gingerbread…” he intones without looking up, “it looked interesting…” he pauses and lets his eyes flick up, “seemed like a you thing.” He reaches to the front of his shirt, unhooking the wire framed glasses there. He wipes them with his sleeve before putting them on and refocusing on his book, “you can tell me if it’s shit.”

You’re silent. You don’t know what to say. You were more than prepared to disappear into the blizzard, but not this. The realisation slowly sinks in. You’re trapped here and not just by his indomitable will.

[starshine-wagner]

For All the Years

Summary: Josh has had enough of watching you suffer from afar. 

Word Count: 3.1k

Warnings: negative body image talk, misogyny

To all my bigger b*tches: this one is for us.

This is based off of a conversation one of my roommates endured recently. It had me so frustrated and I needed to channel it somewhere and, well, here we are.

Thanks for engaging with my stuff, y’all! I know I have a lot to improve on, but it’s fun hearing your thoughts and feedback. Please feel free to send me any suggestions!

A/N: This is a re-upload to move my work from my old blog to my current blog.

You’d been having a great time at your friend’s going-away-party and were only a few drinks in when you found yourself on the couch with some of his coworkers. You didn’t know them all too well, besides the few times you’d been at the club together. All you knew was that the tall one was a horrendous dancer, and the one with the blonde curls had a southern accent that you couldn’t quite pin. Being the good friend you were, you engaged them in small talk and tried to bring them into the conversation. 

The dimly lit room reeked of cheap beer and body odor, but you didn’t really mind. Any night spent at the Kiszka’s house was worth the suffering if it meant you got to do it with them.

From where you were on the couch, you could see Danny chatting up some girl in the kitchen. Good for him, you thought. Sam was out on the porch with a couple other guys who you couldn’t make out without your glasses. Though you couldn’t see them, you could sure hear them. They hollered stupid shit into the thick summer air and you thanked God the Kiszkas lived in a relatively secluded area. Otherwise, the police would’ve been called many many many parties ago. 

Somehow, the topic on the couch jumped from favorite dog breeds to general pet care to grooming to personal habits to… this. And it snapped you back into focus.

“I just think that if a girl put more effort into her appearance, she’d get asked on more dates. It’s not even an opinion really. Just like… a fact…”

“Yeah. Like. Objectively, girls who go for runs every day are just gonna get asked on more dates. It’s not a bad thing. That’s just how it is.”

“Absolutely. And like, no shade to bigger women. Some of them are hot too,” the tall one said, giving you a side eye and a reassuring (?) nod, “but like, I don’t know. It’s not for everyone.”

They went on to describe a self-made pyramid ranking system of how boys view women when you finally tuned out. What the fuck. Were you really speaking to grown men in the year 2022? Were their brains actually this archaic and small and stupid and… ???

As soon as you felt your neck get hot and your eyes start to fill with tears, you knew this would be one of those moments. You’d gotten over the bulk of your body image issues a couple years ago.

But, every once in a while, they resurfaced. Half of you wanted to launch into an angry rant at these guys, but the more dominant half of you just wanted to cry.

“Sorry, I just gotta go grab another drink.” You excused yourself, giving whoever was next to you a pat on the knee, and made a beeline for the bathroom upstairs. You’d likely need it for longer than a quick piss, and didn’t want a drunk person banging on the door before you were done wiping away any evidence of your hurt. 

You grabbed the handle and swung open the door when-

“Ocupado!” Dammit. You’d walked in on Jake peeing before, but this was the least convenient time for it to happen again. Still a bit drunk, he turned to cover himself, but not without a little smirk in your direction. Unbeknownst to you, he caught the look on your face before you slammed the door shut and retreated.

You found your way into Ronnie’s room. It’s usually where you stayed on nights like these since she was off at college. With the lights off and the white noise of the party downstairs lulling you into thought, you let go.

It didn’t really matter what those guys had said. You’d probably never see them again. But something about their attitude triggered a deep hurt. Years of being seen as the funny fat friend would do that to you. Immediately, your mind jumped to wayward conclusions. 

You didn’t have a boyfriend because you were fat. You probably wouldn’t ever be someone’s first choice, solely because of your size. Could you blame them? Skinny girls are pretty, after all. 

You wondered if that’s why Josh never made a move on you. It makes sense, you thought. Despite years of little hints and sweet touches and vulnerable hearts and wandering eyes, it made sense that he never really wanted you like that.

It made sense that he’d just seen you as his silly, platonic, good-for-a-laugh, fills-the-gaping-hole-of-loneliness girl friend. Idiot, you thought. Of course he never wanted you. He is way too fucking good for someone like me.

Just as you were consuming yourself in these thoughts, you heard a tap on the door, and heard someone call your name. You figured that, if you held your breath and kept silent, whoever it was would assume you weren’t in there and go away. Just in case, you crept off the bed and onto the floor beside it, out of view. 

“Y/N?” Josh asked in the dark. “I know you want to see Jake’s dick but you could’ve just asked politely.” Despite your mood, you couldn’t help but hold back a breathy laugh. Josh padded over on the carpet to the other side of the bed to find you lying face first on the ground.

“Whatcha doing down there?”

“Your carpet smells like musty grandma.” You peeked up at him as he took a seat on the edge of the mattress.

“Okay, well, technically it’s not my carpet. It’s Ronnie’s. Actually, even more technically, it’s my mother’s carpet.” Again, he made you smile, but it quickly faded and you put your face back to the ground.

“What’s up, Y/N?” He poked you with his shoe and you knew that he knew you weren’t actually all right. Ever the problem-solver, you also knew that he wouldn’t leave until you told him what was on your mind. So, you sat up, cross-legged on the floor with your head resting against the wall.

“Just crying. Leo’s work friends pissed me off.” Josh’s eyebrows furrowed. 

“What did they do?”

“They didn’t do anything. They just… they’re idiots. Misogynistic, dumbass fucking barbarians.” You crossed your arms and closed your eyes in an attempt to hold back the tears that still threatened to betray you.

You’d cried in front of Josh before. Many times, actually. But after the mental gymnastics you’d just done, you weren’t in the mood to give over more of yourself to him. He doesn’t actually want you.

“Okay. I’ll be right back.” He slapped both his knees and went to stand up before you reached for his wrist to stop him.

“No, stay.” Oops. You didn’t mean to say that.

“I’ll come back after I kick those assclowns out of my house.” He tried to walk forward but your grip only tightened.

“… You mean your mom’s house.”

“Shut up, Y/N.” He couldn’t help but smirk at your wit.

“Please? I don’t want to cause a big thing,” you begged, “It’s not a big deal.” After a moment of contemplation, he rubbed your knuckles with his thumb before detaching himself and finding a place on the floor next to you. His little body curled up so easily next to yours.

You wondered if he noticed the difference in size between you two, too. After a moment of silence, he turned his head and gave you a slightly squinty-eyed look and a half-assed smile that read something like: I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what happened. 

Better to get this over with sooner rather than later. 

“They just… We were talking and they started saying some shit about dating girls and how, basically, skinnier girls are prettier. And that girls who go on runs every day get asked out more. And implied that it’s women’s own fault if they’re not perceived as attractive to men. I don’t know. It’s dumb but it made me-”

“It’s not dumb,” he cut you off and reached for your hand. “Well, wait, I mean, it is dumb. But what you’re feeling isn’t dumb.” Josh’s lips were pursed in concern, while his hands found their way to rest chastely on your thigh. You uncrossed your legs and scooted a tad further away so he couldn’t keep his hands there. He only does that because he knows nobody else will.

“Ok. Well. Yeah, it just made me frustrated. I mean,” you hesitated, eyes flicking to the door, “you saw me back when Lucas cheated on me. And that one time we talked about why. Just, my brain automatically started replaying the shit he said about my body being too gross and, I don’t know. It just…”

Fuck. The tears were coming whether you liked it or not. Your hands went to cover your face, but Josh was too quick. He moved them to his lap and pulled your head into his chest. 

At that moment, you didn’t care how you’d feel later. You didn’t care that you’d fall asleep feeling stuck in this limbo of affection for someone who’d probably laugh at the idea of dating you. Who cared if it was a pity gesture? You needed someone to comfort you and he was a warm body willing to walk you through it. And he was warm…

Josh combed through your hair with his fingers, ever so gently, while you let out your cries. It felt nice. He was always so gentle with you. Even in the pale moonlight from the window, you could see that you were staining Josh’s white shirt with your tears. 

“Sorry,” you said, slightly muffled by his chest. 

“Don’t apologize. Never apologize…” You could hear his heartbeat. Slow and steady, like the strokes of his thumb on the back of your head. After another few seconds like this, he allowed you to pull back, still keeping his arms around your shoulders.

“I think I just wanna sleep. Is it okay if I stay here again?”

“You know you never have to ask. Towels are in the laundry room instead of the usual spot. And I’ll try to wrap things up down there.”

“It’s okay, don’t make them-”

“I’m gonna tell them to wrap it up,” he insisted. Josh pushed himself up and sauntered out the door. You sat there, glued to your spot in a heavy sadness. Maybe you’d just sleep right where you were. 

From downstairs, you heard Josh begin to sing, “time to get the fuck out of my house!” over and over. It was his way of feigning kindness when he was actually just impatient and frustrated. If he made it into a song, it didn’t seem as threatening. Thirty minutes later, you heard people start to finally say their goodbyes, and a bit of rustling outside, as people made their way home.

Once the last engines roared down the street and Sam finally turned off the music, you figured it was safe to head over to the laundry room and grab a towel to clean your face with. It’s a wonder you still had the motivation to wash up.

As you crept down the hall past Jake’s room, you heard him. You heard Josh. The door was wide open. And, by their hushed tones, you immediately knew it was something you weren’t supposed to hear.  

“Because I’m fucking wrecked, Jake! Okay?”

Silence. 

“I can’t stand to see her fucking beating herself up anymore, so I fucked him up instead. Five years of loving her and needing her and not saying shit like a dumbass… I’m tired of it.”

Your heart immediately felt like it was going to jump right out of your throat. You had to remind yourself to take your next breath as you stood there in the hallway, unsure of what your next move would be. But, your next breath came not as a breath at all. Instead, a soft gasp filled your ever-tightening lungs. Shit.

You watched from behind as Josh’s head flinched, like he was about to turn around, but caught himself.

He knew it was you. He didn’t need to look.

With the way his skin was burning at your proximity, it couldn’t not be you.

His head hung down and his eyes were glued to the floor in front of him. Jake peeked past Josh to look at you with wide eyes. His brother had let his biggest secret slip. 

For years he’d kept it hidden behind thinly veiled sarcasm and brotherly harassment. He made sure never to get too close, keeping himself just far enough away that he wouldn’t be tempted to say ‘fuck it all.’

Honestly, he was surprised it took this long for the truth to come out. 

You felt frozen in place, stuck to the ground below you. Your brain couldn’t get your legs to move until Josh finally began to turn around. Not wanting him to actually see you, you did a tip-toed run back to Ronnie’s room, towel-less and confused.

Was he saying what you thought he was saying? It couldn’t be. Your mind had to be making shit up in some weird psychotic break triggered by the assholes at the party. Yes, that was certainly the case.

…But you were pretty damn sure you just heard Josh saying he loved you? 

And needed you? 

And it didn’t sound platonic…?

And… wait, did he hit those guys?

You threw yourself onto the bed and under the covers, with your back to the doorway. The plan was to act like you didn’t hear anything. You’d actually been asleep this whole time! You squeezed your eyes shut and tried to create a believable breathing pattern for someone who was asleep. This way, if Josh came in to try and explain whatever that was, he’d realize it wasn’t you after all. It would give you more time to try and figure out what you’d say.

Genius plan.

Just as you expected, the door creaked open. Seconds passed with no sound when Josh finally whispered your name into the dark. Sticking to the plan, you pretended to sleep and prayed he would give up and go away. This was not a territory you were prepared to explore tonight. Again, Josh whispered into the room.

“Y/N. I know you’re awake. Jake saw you.”

Shit. Would it be stupid to just keep sticking to the plan and pretend- 

He sat down on the other side of the bed. 

“I just…” he cleared his throat, “that’s not how you were supposed to find out.” Okay. So we’re doing this. Once you summoned the courage to face him, you rolled over and saw Josh fidgeting with his necklace and avoiding your gaze. You weren’t sure exactly what was about to unfold.

“I just really hate seeing you like that. What those guys said was disgusting. You’re worth…” he rubbed his palm down the side of his face, resting it at his neck. “You’re so perfect. And to know that they made you question that just infuriates me to no end, Y/N.” 

You peeked at him with one eye, the other buried in your pillow. He’d fully turned to face you now.

“Listen, I get it if you don’t like me like that,” he started, “but I couldn’t just let those guys say shit like that and walk away untouched.” You didn’t know what the hell to say. So you let the silence go on. And on. “… Y/N? Can you say just, anything, please?”

“… You hit them?” Honestly, you were kinda surprised. Josh was never really one for violence, even with his brothers.

“Well. I tried. One of them kinda shoved me away and I could only get one good whack at him but… I tried,” he admitted, a little sheepish. 

“Are you okay?” 

He huffed, “I’m fine.” You considered it for a second… the idea of Josh trying to punch someone and failing. You bit your lip, holding back a little bit of a smile at the thought. “What could possibly be amusing you, right now?” Josh asked. 

“You’re such an idiot. That dude is so much bigger than you!”

He shook his head, maintaining an uncharacteristically serious tone. “Don’t care.” Josh’s eyes seemed to be pleading with you. Begging you to recognize the emotion behind them. Imploring you to understand what he wanted to say without actually having to say it. His gaze became too much, and you turned your head away.

That’s when he bent down and surprised you by pressing his lips against yours, just for a moment. 

“Josh, you don’t have to-”

“I’m sorry…”

“Please don’t kiss me because you feel bad for me. I’m fine. I’ll be… fine. I’ve dealt with this shit my whole life and I always get over it.” His brows furrowed and he licked his lips.

“You- you think I kissed you because I feel bad for you?”

“I guess. Yeah.” You started to pull the comforter over your face and retreat back to the safety of the bed, but he stopped you.

“Y/N. Look at me.” He grabbed your chin with this thumb and forefinger, giving it a tap before placing his hands next to yours. “I kissed you because I’ve been dying to for years. Not because I pity you or some shit. I fucking want you.” He paused. “And if you don’t- like, if that’s not something you want then that’s okay and I’m sorry for misinterpreting, but… God,” he sighed. 

Slowly, your hand crept out of the covers and onto his. You let your fingers wrap around his thumb and his eyes shot up to meet yours, though his head didn’t move. If he really meant what he said, you knew you had to be honest with him as well. 

“I want you too, Josh.”

And with that, the walls between the two of you came crashing down.

He pulled you up off your pillow and kissed you like you’d be gone tomorrow. Slowly peppering you with sweet touches along your face and down to your neck and across your collarbones.

You grabbed the sides of his face with both hands, forcing him to look up at you. You held his gaze as tears started to fill your eyes. Instinctively, he wiped them away as they came and grazed your forehead with his lips before drawing you into his arms. 

You two sat there, just hugging, for what felt like forever. You allowed his heart beat to soothe you into calm. Once you found your breath again, you asked something into his shoulder

“You really… you love me?” He took a deep breath in.

“I do, Y/N. I love you. And I’ll make up for all the years I was supposed to be kissing you.”

And with that, you hated those misogynistic assholes a little less.

[waitmyturtles]

Alright friendies, I was suuuuuper late to watching Be My Favorite, episode 10 yesterday, and I write this to you in the twilight of a hotel bathroom while my kids are sleeping, HA (writing meta on a road trip is a thing, I tell ya, but it's GOTTA BE DONE!). And the other issue is that I haven't fully caught up on all the meta for this episode floating around, so I apologize in advance, because I should be citing all the friends, but let me instead just summarize what I THINK is happening on Tumblr, thanks to the GODDESS, @lurkingshan, who was updating me yesterday.

I think that there's differing thoughts on that last scene of intimacy and how we got there, and what exactly Kawi's hesitation is all about. I'm going to posit Some Theory Stuff, but overall -- I think this was a FANTASTIC episode, still keeping up with the intentionality of what this series has previously established (we'll disagree a touch, @lurkingshan, but not by too much, because I don't think this episode got Jittirained -- thank goodness for the "inspired by" caveat in the opening title sequence), and I screenshot some bits of this episode to accompany this ramble, so let's boogie.

I think the first giveaway of the intentionality of this episode was the framing of the three main parents of this series giving their kids either advice and/or feedback and/or evidence of their own changes in their own lives that made them happier and/or better people.

In Kawi's dad's instance: we know he will pass, and he knows he has a chance at passing. He tells Kawi: stop holding your life back for me. Move forward and live.

In Pear's dad's instance: he says, listen, I was angry at your mom for a long time. The way that I moved forward, and became stronger, was to forgive. That's a hell of a piece of advice for a young adult -- and we see Pear taking that advice when she speaks with Kawi and Pisaeng, and being the badass we knew she could be. Pear's dad also utters this line, which I think sets the theme and tone for the rest of the episode -- and, of course, the rest of the series.

In Pisaeng's mom's instance: we see Pisaeng essentially demanding that his mom be happy for him. I actually thought this was a really smart and interesting scene. Many of you know I analyze these shows from an Asian/filial piety lens, and I actually thought, in that scene -- I was like, damn, Pisaeng is talking like a Westerner here. And I liked that -- I liked that Pisaeng was standing up for his happiness as a tangible emotion, and daring his mother to meet him where he was at.

I also thought the interplay and flashbacks between Pisaeng's mom and Kawi were really smart. I believe there's some meta out there theorizing that they MAY have been in a crystal ball moment, which I will definitely not rule out, because the full content of that call between Kawi and Pisaeng's mom was still a touch unresolved and a little confusing -- but I am going to assume it was intentional until proven otherwise. High hopes.

Okay, so we then get to the hesitation bit, the bit with Kawi and Max talking about sex, the breakfast congee, the theme park, the dinner date, and the night-night woo woo. And then the before-credit wrap-up of Kawi's call to Pisaeng's mom, and the (I think) unreliable preview to the very anticipated episode 11 next week.

Here's my Big Theory: I think this entire episode, including all the parental feedback, was rooted in a Big Krist Macro-Level Commentary about Krist's past in BL, particularly by way of his extremely clear hesitation in intimacy in the SOTUS franchise with Singto Prachaya. If BMF, inspired by Jittirain's original novel, was designed to include such huge references to Krist's past career, including his many fumbles, I would posit that this episode was the encapsulation of many, if not all, of those threads.

a) I think Kawi's talk with Max goes into Krist's hesitation about intimacy on screen.

b) During the breakfast congee scene, including Pisaeng's wiping Kawi's mouth, I got STRONG Kongpob/Arthit vibes. Those morning breakfasts at that little table! (I will admit, as I said to @lurkingshan yesterday: I benefit from my Old GMMTV Challenge in these current analyses, because I so recently just WATCHED Krist's old shows.)

Kongpob was randy, y'all. (SINGTOOOOOOOO.) So is Pisaeng. (GAWINNNN!!!!) And Arthit just never quite caught up -- and Krist was out there wiping his damn mouf after those kisses. I posit that Kawi's playing the clean-up hitter here after all those strike-outs.

c) So during the theme park scene, I was laughing, because yes -- who actually goes to eat at a theme park, unless you're going to Disneyland to eat the turkey leg (amirite). BUT: as that scene went on, I thought that it might have served as a metaphor for Krist's career in BL. In other words: when you're at a theme park, you gotta ride the rides, right?

When you're at a theme park -- you gotta theme park. When you're in a BL, Krist.... you gotta BL. Somehow, someway. You gotta play the game.

And Kawi walks away from the rides, huffing. Pisaeng follows him. Pisaeng keeps trying to be romantic. And Kawi says:

Oh dear, my dude.

d) Dinner scene. Pisaeng is taking the blame for Kawi's bad mood. Pisaeng's not sure what else to do.

Kawi is at a precipice, and he knows it. He knows that sex is important to Pisaeng through Kawi's previous discussion with Max. Max has explained -- okay, if TWO people are not into it, then holding hands is okay. But if ONE person IS into it, you will have imbalance. AND: you will not know that you MIGHT like it IF you don't try it.

I think the impact of Kawi's decision to let intimacy in was referenced in this shot -- which I just thought was fucking brilliant.

Kawi looks for a second at the table next to them -- a man sitting alone, having his dinner. I just thought...that was so great. A Krist analysis in this moment is a bit of an extrapolation, but going back to Kawi: I think Kawi recognizes, vis à vis the past parental feedback that he got from his dad, that his life WILL be impacted if he holds himself back any longer. I think that's a gorgeous message. (And, honestly, it does actually apply to Krist and his return to BL, so there we go.)

e) Bedroom scene. Pisaeng asks.

To me, this is the encapsulation of what didn't -- or maybe even COULDN'T -- happen in Krist's past career in BL. And I think Kawi, and Krist, take a huge leap here, and I think Kawi proves to himself that change can happen in his life, and possibly make his life better. And I think, again, that that's also a metaphor for Krist's own career in BL -- that taking risks can produce great art from his acting, a skill of his that many of us fans questioned for so damn long.

Just to wrap this up quickly, I think there was some commentary out there about Pisaeng's original intentions during the first time he enters Kawi's bedroom. Kawi finding the condoms did remind me of Pharm finding Dean's condoms in Until We Meet Again (that show is always on my mind now, like Bad Buddy), and I think Pisaeng's mom explains enough to Kawi by way of whether or not Pisaeng was acting "differently," if you will. Pisaeng's mom said to Kawi -- dude, what the hell do you think Pisaeng is getting at, don't overthink this, lol.

Again, I posit that Pisaeng is playing a kind of Kongpob stand-in here by way of randyness, and I'm not sure it's out of character for Pisaeng. The man communicated that he has his needs! So did Kongpob. And Krist's playing the faen who's gotta catch up to that, in both instances. And we ultimately see the different ways in which Krist's characters handle that pressure.

I'm really excited for next week, and I will hang out with everyone on the sidelines of gentle hesitation that this show can stick its landing. But that being said: I really thought this episode was great, and I posit that it didn't falter from its intentionality in its macro-level intelligence. This show's fucking great.

[italeean]

HELLO THIS IS RANDO TO ELLE I REPEAT RANDO TO ELLE, OVER!! I HOPE YOU ARENT BEING DROWNED OUT WITH REQUESTS FOR THE MILESTONE EVENT (IF SO PLEASE DONT FEEL PRESSURED TO DO MINE, AND MAKE SURE TO TAKE LOADS OF BREAKS WHEN NEEDED!!) ALSO I APOLOGISE FOR THE ALL CAPS I DO THIS WHEN I’M EXCITED OR JUST ENTHUSIASTIC IN GENERAL!

SO FOR THE EVENT:

THE NAME’S RANDO, BUT YA KNOW THAT ALREADY,

I’M SUPER LOUD AND LOVE FUN EXCITING STUFF, THOUGH I CAN ALSO GET SCARED EASY- AND I LIKE PERFORMING ARTS (ESPECIALLY SINGING, HIPHOP DANCE, AND MUSICAL THEATRE) OR ARTS IN GENERAL AND PRANKS AND PARTIES AND IM BASICALLY A GREMLIN HDJDHSKS-

I AM ALSO A LEE BUT SHHH YOU DIDNT HEAR THAT FROM ME-

FOR THE FANDOM, EITHER GENSHIN OR BUNGO STRAY DOGS- I DON’T MIND WHICH!

AND ALSO I’D PREFER PLATONIC AND A DUDE CAUSE THE B IN BRO GOTTA STAND FOR BESTIES >:D

ANYWAYS THAT WAS PROBABLY A LOT BUT I HOPE YOU’RE DOING WELL AND HAVE HAD A GOOD WEEK SO FAR!!

ANYWAYS THIS WAS RANDO, OVER AND OUT-

RANDOOOO MY DEAR!!! IT'S BEEN SO NICE TO SEE YOUR REQUEST POPPING UP IN MY ASK BOX 🥹 About how many requests I have, I can officially say that I passed the 20 requests!! 😸 Anyway, I hope you'll enjoy the match I gave you... I chose BSD as a fandom hehe ❤️🍡 *some dango for my #1 Itto stan* P.S. You better have slept properly, or else.

🔮 For the match-up, your pair is... RANPO

🔮 Why did I choose him for you?

• SAME GREMLIN ENERGY, THAT'S THE FIRST REASON • I can see you getting the zoomies together after having an overdose of sugar... poor Kunikida would take a sick leave probably hehe~ • You two would probably fall together into Yosano or Dazai's tickly clutches... or maybe both of them at the same time • I can imagine you two (lovingly) bullying the life out of poor Poe... he'd get wrecked at least twice a week • Ranpo is always honest (even blunt and cheeky at times) so he would always give you a honest feedback about your singing, dancing or theatrical performances... you can always trust his judgment • I'm imagining you creating a song with a couple of lines about every member of the Agency hahahaha • Maybe someone would even get revenge on you two if you made his lines comical enough (ahem Kunikida *cough cough*) • The detective would probably have fun with giving you jumpscares... maybe even tickly jumpscares~ • PLAYFIGHTS WITH KENJI AND ATSUSHI. PERIOD. • You could have a "bro/bestie night" with a nice movie, maybe a comedic murder mystery, and a huge pile of sweets!!! • You could give yourself a silly bros nickname, like THE RANS, since your names both start with RAN • Ranpo probably wins both tickle fights against you, thanks to his observation skills and his great memory. He'd remember each and every one of your weaknesses...

🔮 Tickle scenario

The Agency was completely quiet for once. Dazai and Kunikida were on a mission together, just like Kenji and Tanizaki, Naomi was out shopping with Kyouka, Yosano was buying more bandages and a new chainsaw, the President was having a negotiation with Mori, Atsushi was out "fighting" Akutagawa and Ranpo was on a crime scene.

Which means that when you arrived at this building, you found no one to welcome you. You sighed, although you didn't get mad, you knew that your friends were out doing their job... so you decided to use that time to explore around the building.

You went around and checked everyone's desks, making your heart skip a beat when you almost knocked over a pen holder on Kunikida's perfectly tidy and organized desk, and in the end you found it. The treasure. Your eyes literally lighted up at the sight: you had found Ranpo's stack of sweets.

You genuinely wondered how Ranpo was able to eat all that sugar without getting sick, but a rumble in your stomach made you snap back to reality. You were hungry, but you couldn't eat those sweets... you knew how jealous the detective was of his food, so you decided not to touch anything.

...

After an hour, the pile of candy was complete gone, and you gulped when you heard the door open and the sound of approaching steps. It wasn't your lucky day. Before you could even think about hiding the evidence of your hideous crimes, Ranpo appeared before you.

"AAAAAHH I'm so disappointed! The case was so easy that I spotted the culprit from afar! I didn't even get to use my ability! Seriously, isn't there an intelligence test to become a policeman?" The detective was clearly grumpy, so he did the thing that usually cheered him up, which was eating sweets to his heart's content.

However, his frown deepened when he found his stack completely gone and the wraps all scattered around the floor. "Rando..." The detective looked at you with a piercing gaze, even putting on his glasses, "do you know where my candy went? "I... you... no... I mean... I didn't... well... I WAS HUNGRY!!!" You couldn't lie at all, especially to the greatest detective of all times.

"Now I'm hungry! What am I supposed to eat, huh?" If you hadn't been so nervous, you would've probably noticed the playfully ominous glint in your best friend's eyes. "Erm... I... I think Kunikida left s-some raw veggies in the fridge..?"

"EEEEEEEHHH VEGGIES??? BLEH! HOW DARE YOU?! YOU'RE GONNA GET IT!!" The green-eyed guy jumped on you, but you managed to put your hands on his shoulders and push him off... Or so you thought.

When you raised your arms, two fingers immediately wormed under your arms, thoroughly digging in the very center of your underarms. "KYAAAHAHEHEHEHE RAHAHAHANPO WAIHIHIHIT NOOOO!!!" You were immediately reduced to a laughing mess, but Ranpo showed no mercy.

On the contrary, he moved his hands and made you think he had decided to spare you and let it slide for once, but right after you breathed a sigh of relief, twenty wiggling fingers descended on your poor tummy.

"WAAAAHHAHAHAHAHA NOHOHOHO RAHAHANPOHOHO NAHAHAT THIHIHIS!!!" You begged, wishing your thin cotton shirt could protect you better from the pokes, pinches, scribbles and spiders that were targeting your midriff.

"Yes, this! You deserve it for eating my secret stack of sweets! Hmph!!" He huffed while he started circling your belly button. "NONONOHOHOHOHO BROHOHO PLEAHAHASE LEHEHET'S TAHAHALK ABOHOHOUT THIHIHIS..!" As soon as you understood where his finger was going, you started pleading and squirming, making the tickly feeling even worse (or better).

"You should've thought about it before eating my snacks... now I'm gonna dig and get them back!" The brunette exclamation as his finger found your bellybutton and started wiggling extra quickly, as if it was digging in your poor belly.

"AAAAAAAAAHAHHAHAEHEHHEHE NAH- NAHAHAHAHAHAHA NOHOHOT THIHIHIS PLEHEHEAHASEEE" It surprised you how mean a cute guy like Ranpo could be, but there you were, squirming like a little worm, trying in vain to escape your tickly fate.

But alas, your yelling, squirming, pleading and begging fell on deaf ears. Only when your laughter went silent and you asked him to stop, Ranpo actually ceased his assault. "Are you okay?" The detective asked while handing you a glass of water "Sorry if I overdid it..."

"Don't worry, I'm fine, and well... it was deserved hehe" You gave him an embarrassed smile and scratched the back of your head, "Now... shall we go buy more candy and annoy Poe?"

"YAY! LET'S GOOO!!!"

[writing-plurals]

Hello! I've been thinking of writing fanfics about a ship making them share the same body. It's going to be drabbles/one-shots tho, since I'm not good at writing (I barely ever write XD) and I don't think I would be able to write a full story with various chapters. I'm plural myself so I have a basic idea of what I should avoid (evil killer alter trope for example)

There's some ideas I came up with and would like some advice on writing the following:

In-system romantic relationships

DID systems

Median systems

Plurals fighting together as heroes

But there's something else I wanted to ask advice on (even if it isn't exactly for writing). See, I'm a native spanish speaker so I'm gonna write the drabbles in spanish. I think it could be a good way of introducing non-disordered and non-traumagenic plurality to other spanish speakers since most of the plural content and activism in spanish is about dissociative disorders only, but because of that there's many sysmeds and anti-endos and I don't know how I should deal with them.

I don't think I can ignore them, specially because I don't want them spreading misinformation (as always) in the comments but I also don't want to flood them debating sysmeds. I thought of maybe making a carrd (with sources) and linking it but IDK if it's actually worth it to make a carrd just for this.

Hey friend! That's a lot, and I can't touch on all of them, so some of them I'll be throwing to other mods and our followers to add on in reblogs. I hope that's alright!

In-system Romantic Relationships

Internal Romantic Relationships are almost the same as ones in the Outside. You can surprise each other with flowers, and presents that's to be THEIRS. You can hold them inside *and* out (when cofronting. It'll all just look a little different.

Person A wants to surprise Person B? Gotta make sure internal walls are built up so they don't know about the flowers until they're set up and they switch in. Have them leave notes for them with the sappy shit people would normally say to their face if there were two bodies involved.

Person A and B want to cuddle while watching a movie, it looks like hugging yourself, but maybe B has control of one arm, and is stroking the face or other hand. During sad parts, A hugs B (with the body) eeeeeeextra tight!

Plurals Fighting As Heroes

The mask a singlet would wear as a hero has multiple meanings once a system puts one on. So plan on the group having a long conversation about the name they all want to use that won't tip anyone off. Think System Name but opposite direction, so as not to be found out.

And same goes for the outfit, except you can probably lead with more of what the system members like in aesthetics.

And the elephant in the room, what about powers? Do they all have seperate (more nichely specific) powers? Do they all have the same one and use it differently? If you've seen the later seasons of My Hero Academia, there's a comparison to Midoriya you might find helpful.

Just make sure that if you include powers, that the way it fits into the world doesn't show your system to be Different because they're a system.

And last but not least (for my advice before additions)

If you're planning on writing some of the first creative representation of plurality, prepare to be the people that are looked to for information.

Set up a Caard or something akin to one with information, (credited and linked to sources!!!, Caards get a bad rep for that), and you can direct people to it like a FAQ.

And by taking on this role, you have to accept the risk that sysmeds are going to try to debate you. So deeply consider if you have the time to research responses that are backed up by studies that you can shut them down with. There are several blogs I've seen share information like this that you might find helpful in bringing it to the spanish side of fandom.

@cambriancrew is a fantastic place to start, and you can find more blogs akin to them there.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hope that this and advice further down on this post is helpful. And I give my best wishes as you embark on this. We need more people like you making content online.

-Mod Tick Tock

(This has been edited to remove the color, thank you for the feedback!)

[invisibleraven]

Friday! ❤️ "I like looking at you." for Peterpatter?

Luke whistled as he strolled through the museum, the beams of his flashlight catching on the displays as he passed. Throwing a cheeky salute to the camera, knowing it would make Alex sigh and roll his eyes back in the security office, but that's just how their friendship worked.

Luke took his time going through the floors, stopping to admire a new display of artwork from a local artist. He didn't quite get the sculpture made of skateboard pieces, but hey, to each their own right?

Luke never saw himself as a security guard for a living, but it was a pretty sweet gig, giving him lots of time to write his songs, with plenty of time off if he got a gig. Plus he got free admission to the museum, and that was pretty sweet in and of itself.

He always appreciated art, even if that wasn't where his talents lay. The paintings, the sculptures, the weird modern displays that involved scissors hanging from the ceiling, he loved it all.

But he always ended his rounds in the same place, Boy With Sunflower. It was his favourite piece in the entire museum, depicting a pale elfin creature with golden freckles and spring bright eyes. He was smiling impishly at the painter, surrounded by sunflowers, long fingers strumming on a lute that barely covered his modesty.

From the first time he saw it, it had captivated Luke. He's not exactly sure why, but he can never seem to pass the painting by without stopping and starring for at least a moment.

"Hey buddy," he says offhandedly. So he talks to the paintings every so often-it's a lonely job some nights, and Alex spends half of it texting his mysterious boyfriend, so Luke had to amuse himself somehow right? "How's it hanging?"

Luke sits on the bench and keeps his eyes trained on the sultry little smile of the man in the painting. "I'm doing alright. I finally landed the bridge of my new song, hoping to play it at open mice night at Eats and Beats next week. We'll see how it goes over. Maybe I'll sing it for you some day."

Luke sighs, leaning his head back. "I just wish... you could hear me, you know? I like looking at you well enough, but I wish you were a real life guy who could appreciate my music. Give me feedback, or hell, play with me. I think this song would be killer with a bass line and some drums."

He turns his face towards the painting once more, the moonlight almost making the eyes of the man glint, even if that's not possible. Luke gives him a wry grin, rubbing his hand over his face. "Ah well, wishes are dreams, and dreams are pretend. So science and reason win out in the end. Maybe once upon a time you were a real person, no way someone just dreamed you up. But you're just oil on canvas now. So reason says I'm talking to the air, and I should like... download Tinder or something. Find myself a real guy."

Luke eases himself off the bench, bracing the small of his back as he does. "Okay, I gotta mosey on back. Maybe get some jerky and a Red Bull. See you tomorrow?"

Of course there's no answer, but Luke still give the painting a two finger salute and walks back, not noticing the twinkling stars in the sky or the ever present glint of the moon. His head is still full of spring green eyes and that cheeky grin.

The next day Luke comes in before the museum closes to collect his paycheque before his shift starts. And maybe he takes the long way round so he can pass by Boy With Sunflower on his way.

Only that spot on the wall is blank.

He rushes to the office where Mr. Covington, the museum director is sitting, and it looks like he's practicing a card trick when Luke bursts in. "Where's Boy With Sunflower?" he asks, his voice almost frantic.

"Please do come in," Mr. Covington says, his voice full of derision. "And to answer your question, my dear boy, that painting was on loan to us from Silver Lake. It's headed back there now, with our thanks."

"Oh," Luke says, his voice small. "It was my favourite."

"It was a plebeian work, but I guess I could see it's allure," Mr. Covington says, then hands Luke his cheque. "Now, I have a new docent coming in tonight to learn the lay of the land. I trust you and Mr. Mercer won't scare him off."

"Of course not, we'll be as friendly as can be," Luke replies, even if that job sounds more like babysitting than anything.

"Perfect. Mr. Peters is waiting in the security office now, I trust he'll still be in my employ come the morning, so please do go welcome him." The dismissal is clear, so Luke nods and vamooses, heading to his locker for his uniform and then to the office. Alex won't be here for another half hour at least, so Luke supposes he gets first shift on nanny duty.

Only, when he opens the door to the security office, he stops in his tracks. Because the man in front of him is a living, breathing replica of Boy With Sunflower, right down to the golden freckles and playful smile. Luke's heart leaps to his throat, and he holds out a hand.

"Hi, my name is Luke."

"Reggie."

[anotherhumanpet]

I have zero idea whats going on but your dudes are being rotated in my head. 10/10

Anonymously tell me what you think about my character portrayal in my ask

Not gonna lie - I'm having some kind of weird emotional low period so I absolutely posted this meme in search of A) praise to combat my self loathing and B) constructive feedback to address areas where I may need improvement.

But, ya know, being emotionally low, I'm dragging my feet do anything. And then I see this ask, and I immediately was like, "Alright. I gotta answer this shit, because this? This is love right here."

Thank you ♥

[yanderelovlies]

✨Galaxy Anon ✨ here!

Viví ahh no worries I will! I will make so many prompts that you feel so inspired! And lots of angst too since you like them as well! But I will put fluff endings for them too since my heart can only handle so much.

Yeah they said they are and they don’t want people to criticize those people so gotta respect them.

May I ask what does she do in class? Oh I’m sorry vivi! I hope your best is enough that she grades it well!

It makes sense since now it’s even worse online and how toxic it is and not to mention it’s even easier to access not appropriate sites and more toxic people. Not to mention you don’t want them to get groomed by bad people since kids are impressionable.

He never hurt you right though? Though being uncomfortable still isn’t okay. Ewww he needs to stop that isn’t okay if it makes you uncomfortable or even freaks you out. At least that’s a pro not associating with those people. Thanks so much viví and me too vivi I’m so happy as well!

Thanks it’s comforting to hear those words.

Aahh love some good angst to fluff. I also like so straight up angst. I can't tell you why but ugh I love it.

I have a lot of respect for sauce. I try to keep up with everything, but I never really got into Twitter. I only use it to commission an artist (I really love their art).

This is an online class so I have never seen her or spoken to her. I only get the instructions and the occasional announcements. She doesn't give much feedback either and it drives me crazy. I miss my last composition teacher 😭. Also I hope so too it's worth 100 points and I'm sitting at a low B.

Them getting prayed upon scares me. There is somethings I don't want to be repeated, and give them the same scars. So I'm on that hard. My mom is even shocked by it at times.

God no I made sure to never be around him without friends and family. He later lost interest, and other shit went down. I'm just glad I wasn't involved lol.

[zepskies]

Omg friend, has anyone told you you're the QUEEN of heartwarming feedback? 🥹 Well you are, Wayne, and I love you for it (that and many things). 💕

Thanks for getting that early-2000s lump of coal stuck in my head, dude 🤣

LMFAO I literally had to look up 2002 hits and found this tragic forgotten angst-rock classic. 😂

(And I'm not surprised that's the first gif that came up. 🤣🤣)

WHAT?! Omg please let Joey be the one to clumsily tell her 😂

LMFAO that would've been a fantastic idea!

Honestly the best way to describe Joey lol

TY 😂 The first thing I notice about Katie is her beautiful big brown eyes.

There he is! My first love and crush 😍 Have I told you that my very first fanfic at thirteen was written about this man? 😆

That's amaziiiing. I wonder where that fanfic is, still out in the world? 😏 (I used to be on FF.net in my early fanfic days lmao) I hope I was able to do your childhood crush justice!

Oh God, Jen! Could you be any more awkward about it? 🙈

LOL this is Jen without some of the growth she got in S6, I think in part due to her relationship with CJ.

Swoon! 😍😍😍

You know me, gotta inject those sappy romcom moments beyond the teen/YA drama cringe. 😘 (A disaster indeed!! lmfao)

Ha! Russian vodka at it's finest. 🫠 Poor, silly Josephine lol.

You nailed Jen there. She'd defnitely come back with a retort like this 🤣

Ahaha thank you! I was a little iffy on writing Jen at first, but this line felt good for her. 🤣 But she was hella petty in this, wasn't she?

He really did say it like that 😂 And why Pacey went out of his way to call him out on it is such an odd thing anyway. Who does that? You sweep shit like that under the rug

Right?! But of course, he did so without meaning to stir up drama. 😂 Poor CJ.

The second one who's petty. Maybe he and Jen are a good match after all... 🙄

LOL CJ's a little on edge, salty and defensive right now (certainly ain't perfect). 😂😂

Their little moment after their fight had me legit in tears 😭 Again, you're making me like him and I really didn't want to lol

Aww, hun!! 💗 I just really love sweet hurt/comfort after an angsty fight. I think I may like it more than regular fluff, and I might have a problem. 😭😂

Omg, Zep, thank you for bringing that disGUSting memory back 😝🤣🤢

Lmfaooo Wayne, I had to. I was rewatching the episode and gagged while watching that part. 🤮🤮 Gus was so fucking gross.

WHAT?!?!!? SHE DID NOT!!!!! NUH-UH!

While I absolutely died reading your reactions (that 70s gif took me out 🤣🤣), we absolutely went there with Jen's drunk ass. I feel like out of all of them, I felt like a bit of wild-child Jen would have the audacity.

My sweet Josephine 🥰 That soothed some of my shock

Ahaha she's a bit childlike while drunk, I thought, which tickled me to write. 😂💕

I love how your readers always have that passive-aggressive fire, Zep 😅❤️‍🔥

I'm realizing this is how I must be as a person. 😂 (I have a...cat-like personality you could say.) Which is probably why unless I'm creating a very specific personality, passive aggressive tends to be my default I'm noticing. 😂 But I love that you love it!! 💞

Damn... Seriously, stop making me fall for this man 👀🔥

I will NOT!

(But seriously, thank you! 😭 I try my best to bring the heat when warranted lol. ❤️‍🔥)

Dear Lord 😂😂😂 He's just going through the whole group, isn't he? Watch out, Joey lol (Although Pacey might punch him again then)

LOL oh God, Pacey'd put him through a wall for that one. Also your comment reminded me of that bit in 70s show, I think either Kitty or Red telling Jackie, "Well you're just going through that whole friend group, aren't ya?" 🤣

“You’re my one exception,” he said.

Aww 😭❤️

Again, I'm a sap and I'm unapologetic about it! 😂💕

This was wonderful, Zep! Funny, dramatic, sweet! 🥹 (Stefon-worthy) You're really making me love this guy (and do a rewatch of DC lmao) 🫶💚

Thank you so much, Wayne, I so appreciate you!! I'm so honored that I could turn your hatred into love for this guy. Because trust me CJ frustrated me at times. 🤣 Yesss rewatch! I did a whole rewatch of S6 for this.

Thank you again for always making me smile from ear to ear (and sometimes cackle out loud) with your lovely comments on my stuff. 🥹💓💓💓

One Exception

Pairing: CJ Braxton x F. Reader

Summary: Joey has invited you to a party at Pacey’s apartment, and CJ has agreed to go, despite the contentious history between him and your new friends. He doesn’t want to be the reason you miss out on a good thing, but it also means he’ll have to hide his apprehension (and his alcoholism).  

AN: Here’s the sequel to Good Morning! This story takes place in 6.14 of the show, with a little twist.

Word Count: 4K

Tags/Warnings: Mature themes, but it doesn’t really warrant an 18+ rating. Angst, alcoholism, hurt/comfort, jealousy, fluff, tinge of spice, and implied smut.

“Nice television,” CJ remarked, noting the giant monstrosity in the middle of this very loud apartment.

“See? Told you it’d be low-key,” you said.

More like high and off-key, CJ thought wryly.

Nickleback’s “How You Remind Me” was blaring. People you and CJ recognized from school were crowded in the living room around the TV, as well as milling around the kitchen with beers and solo cups, and it was pretty much a wall of sound that already grated on CJ’s ears. Pacey had to be in here somewhere too.

You squeezed CJ’s hand and gave him a sympathetic smile.

“You okay?” you asked.

He gave you a smile to hide his nerves. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

He was no stranger to parties. He just didn’t often find himself going to parties where the host had once introduced his face to a brick wall.

Before he truly got to know you, CJ had a one-time unintentional fling with your (former) dorm roommate, Audrey. She’d been spiraling out of control in an alcohol-fueled depression. He’d seen a kindred spirit in her and tried to help her. He just hadn’t known that she was still sort of in a relationship with Pacey, who had a mean right hook when he wanted to.

And then there was Jen, Audrey and Joey’s best friend. CJ felt the worst for hurting her along the way, unable to reciprocate her feelings…

And, oh yeah, you still didn’t know about that last part. 

CJ silently stewed in all of this when you led him by the hand to find your friend and current dormmate, Joey.

“Hey! Glad you could make it,” she said with her wide, doe brown eyes and a too-bright smile.

You gave her a quirking look when you hugged her in greeting. She smelled like vodka and orange juice, but you’d never known Joey to go too hard in the paint with her liquor.

She gave your companion a little wave. “Hey, CJ!”

“Hey,” he nodded with a smile.

“You guys want something to drink?” she asked, gesturing to the row of liquor bottles and various chasers behind her on the kitchen counter. You internally paused for a moment, glancing at your boyfriend, but you turned back to Joey with a smile.

“Yeah, Diet Coke would be great,” you said.

CJ gave you a curious look, but he asked for the same. Joey bobbed her head before she went to pour the drinks into some plastic cups.

CJ leaned in near your ear. “Sweetheart, you’re allowed to drink. You know I’ve been to parties before.”

In fact, you and CJ had met at a club party. One where Audrey had been led up to some guy’s room while she was drunk, and CJ had all but broken down the door to get her out for you and Jen.

“I know, I just don’t feel like doing alcohol tonight,” you told him.

It wasn’t exactly a lie, but it wasn’t the whole truth either. You just didn’t want to risk making CJ even more uncomfortable than he likely already was, being near Pacey. You’d asked Joey to talk to him for you—a plea for him to not try and kill your boyfriend.

And there your esteemed host was, coming over now.

“Heyyyy, good thinking,” said Pacey. He went over to Joey’s side when she turned to hand you and CJ your drinks. He grabbed another cup to pour one for himself. 

“Hey, man,” CJ greeted politely. His hands were in his pockets, trying to mask his stiffness.

Pacey hesitated, taking note of CJ, but the beat of tension broke between the two men when Pacey graciously stuck out a hand.

“Hey. Good to see ya…not with my girlfriend,” he quipped with a smile.

CJ’s was a bit more strained, but he gave a wry chuckle along with his handshake. Joey elbowed Pacey in the ribs.

“Ah, what?” he protested. She gave him a firm look, pursing her lips. Then she turned to you and CJ with a smile.

“Hey, you guys have any whiskey?” Jen cut in, as she sidled up to Joey. “I’m not so much in a beer mood, but whiskey I could do. Maybe it’s the burn I’m craving—”

She stopped short when she saw you and CJ. Her smile thinned.

“Oh! Hey, there,” she said.

CJ offered her nod, but his insides tightened. He watched you brighten and give Jen a hug that the other woman couldn’t easily reciprocate. Jen’s eyes were on him, even while she hugged you.

You and Joey then broke off to catch up for a bit (CJ encouraged you to it), while Pacey went back to watching a football game on the mega-sized TV with Jack. CJ was about to join them when Jen’s voice stopped him.

“You guys look good together,” she said. She had a glass of whiskey in her hand and a small smile on her face. Her blonde hair was shorter now, cut just below her ears. Her black halter-style dress suited her.

But she wasn’t you.

CJ smiled more genuinely. “Thanks.”

Jen was a good person. He was still sorry that he hurt her, but he wasn’t sorry for choosing you.

You were happy to see CJ hanging out with his friend David, along with Jack and Pacey and some other guys from school. Meanwhile, you had the chance to catch up with Joey and Jen.

Maybe it would give you a chance to mend this weird rift of distance that had seemed to come between you and Jen in recent weeks.

You didn’t know where it came from, but you genuinely admired Jen as a person. She was smart, and she always spoke her mind and stuck to her principles. That was something you wish you had more of in yourself.

Now, she was a bit quiet while sipping her whiskey. Joey made up for it, with a kind of giggle-snort you'd never heard come out of her mouth before. You raised a brow, despite your smile.

"Yes, Josephine?" you teased.

"Sorry," she waved a dismissive hand. "Just remembered something. Like the fact that I really like vodka. I mean, it's clear, almost tasteless, so it's almost like drinking water, you know?"

You and Jen shared an amused look.

"Sure, that's what it's like," you said.

Joey's eyes went wide then. She leaned in close to you, leaning on your shoulder.

"Oh. Don't drink champagne though," she said, while eyeing Jen. She "whispered" loud enough to be heard over the music, and also hurt your left ear. "She once killed a girl with champagne."

Jen's mouth fell open incredulously. Your eyes went as wide as Joey's. This was some serious “girl time.”

"Wait, what?" you said.

Jen looked at her empty glass. "Well, would you look at that? Right on time."

She escaped to the kitchen to refill her tumbler, but you and Joey followed her; you out of morbid curiosity, and Joey because she too wanted more vodka than orange juice in her plastic cup.

Jen gave you a smirk as she filled up her glass.

"Don't worry, you're all safe. This is Jameson," she said.

You emitted some nervous laughter and leaned on the kitchen counter, trying to figure out where the joke was here. How the hell do you kill a girl with champagne?

“So are you sure you don’t want an actual drink?” Jen asked, gesturing at your soda.

“Oh, no. I’m fine,” you held up a dismissive hand.

“You sure?” Pacey said, coming up from behind your little group to find a beer. “I got your boyfriend a vodka soda. I can get you one too.”

Your eyes widened, though you tried to hide your alarm, smoothing your hands down your jeans.

“What?” you asked.

Pacey paused. He’d caught the surprise flitting across your face. “What?”

“Um…” Your hesitation came from trying to process information in record time. You looked over and saw CJ with David. Your boyfriend was indeed holding a different cup.

You returned your attention to Pacey. His brows were raised. Joey looked confused as well, while Jen was sipping at her own drink, in a way that hinted that she already knew what you were about to say.

“CJ doesn’t drink,” you explained.

Pacey brows popped higher. “Ah. He’s 21 though, right?”

“Yes, but he’s a recovering alcoholic,” you said with a sigh. You didn’t want to have to say that, telling CJ's business, but you didn’t know how else to explain why you were slightly freaking out.

“Oh…uh, sorry about that,” Pacey said.

“No, it’s not your fault. Don’t worry about it,” you said.

Pacey gave a wan smile and returned to the group around the TV, CJ included. You sighed and turned back to Jen and Joey.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know either,” Joey said.

“Nothing to be sorry about,” you said, shaking your said. “I’ll just check on him, if you guys don’t mind—”

Jen’s glass hit the counter, and she poured herself another whiskey on the rocks.

“By all means, check away,” she said.

“Hey, sorry man. I didn’t know,” Pacey had said to him, with a look on his face that also said:

Sorry you’re a leper. That’s rough buddy.

CJ found himself withdrawing from the rest of the guys, even as the smell of vodka wafted from the solo cup in his hand. He glanced down at it with a short sigh, but he didn’t drink it, even though his hand itched to raise the cup to his lips.

You startled him a little when your hand curled around his arm.

“Hey,” you greeted in a whisper.

“Hey,” he smiled back at you. But the worried look on your face made his smile fall.

“Wanna hang out for a bit?” you asked, nodding at a quieter looking corner of the living room.

CJ waved at David with the hand that held his cup, and he followed you over to the far side of the couch. You sat on its edge, arms crossed, while he found a seat on the sill of a large window.

You pointedly glanced at his cup. “Have you been drinking?”

CJ’s lips pursed. He took in your stance: arms crossed, shoulders tense, lips pursed, eyes deeply concerned and wary.

Are we having fun yet? he thought dryly.

“See, I’d be more inclined to answer that question if you hadn’t lured me over here under false pretenses,” he remarked. Though he did set the cup down beside him on the windowsill.

“What false pretenses?” you asked, your brows furrowing.

“You don’t want to be with me. You want to check up on me,” he pointed out. “You’re looking at me like an inmate who got loose in the psych ward.”

You frowned then. “That’s not true. I’m just wondering why you would take an alcoholic beverage from Pacey.”

“Your friend offered me a drink. It seemed rude to say no, so…” CJ glanced down at his hands in his lap. Your head tilted in concern.

“CJ…” you sighed. “Why the hell would you ruin your sobriety over something like that?”

“I don’t expect you to understand,” he replied flatly.

“Oh really?” you said. Your lips pursed in irritation.

“I just didn’t want to get into it with a stranger,” CJ said, throwing up a hand. “But thanks for telling him that I don’t drink. Now he’s apologizing to me like I’m dying or something.”

A sharper sigh fell from your lips. “I told you we didn’t have to come here. I didn’t want to make you feel pressured to—”

“Again, you know this isn’t my first house party,” he said.

“Yeah, I know it’s not. So why? Why did this happen tonight?” you asked. “For as long as I’ve known you, you’ve been so disciplined with yourself. You have a set of rules, and you follow them.”

“Yeah, well, did it ever occur to you that maybe I realized that I was too strict on myself?” he said. “That maybe we wouldn’t even be together if I didn’t bend those rules?”

Your mouth fell open incredulously, a bit of anger sparking your blood. He knew he shouldn't have said that. It just kind of flew out of his mouth, immediately sparking his guilt.

“Okay,” you snipped. “Well, maybe you shouldn’t be bending those rules at all if this is where it leads.”

CJ's lips pursed. “What, because I’ve been sitting here, spending the last hour debating whether or not to take a drink?”

He gestured at the cup beside him. 

Your eyes blinked wider, with even more surprise, and a heavy dose of confusion.

“Wait, what? Are you telling me that you haven’t been drinking tonight?” you asked.

“Is that going to magically change all the conclusions you just jumped to?” CJ retorted.

You closed your eyes with a sharp, exasperated sigh. When you opened them again, you frowned at him.

“Uh, yeah!” you exclaimed. "Of course it does, CJ!"

“Well, it doesn’t work that way,” he said. “Yeah, I’ve been thinking about it. Fine. Just like I’ve been trying to find some normalcy with you here. But apparently you find that wildly insulting.”

He was getting wildly defensive right now. You sort of saw where he was coming from, but it was still frustrating. You held a hand to your chest as your heart raced with the force of your relief.

“Look, I’m sorry for assuming. I’m just…I was worried about you,” you said honestly. “I knew coming here might be stressful for you—”

“I can handle stress,” CJ said. “What I can’t handle is you looking at me like I’m a powder keg waiting to explode.”

You raised up placating hands as you glared at him.

“Fine,” you said. “Sorry for being concerned about my boyfriend. I’ll try to curb that behavior in the future.”

At that, CJ’s frustration and anger simmered down, swiftly followed by more guilt.

You got up and blinked quickly, like you were fighting tears as you shook your head. You aimed to get by him, but he got off the windowsill and went for your hand. There was no drunk excuse for his behavior now.

No, this one was all him.

“Hey,” he said, in a softer voice. He looked down at you with softer eyes too. He could see now that you didn’t mean to make him feel less than, like you had to watch him so he wouldn’t mess up in front of your friends. No, you were just genuinely worried about his wellbeing. 

You looked up at him warily. He held your hand more securely in his.

“Okay, I’m sorry. I am,” he said, when he noted your raised brow. “I’m really grateful that you care about me. That you’re concerned about me. But I’ve been dealing with this for a long time. I don’t want you to feel like you can’t be yourself either, even when we’re out here in the wild.”

A small smile twitched at your lips. You held his hand back.

“Out in the wild, huh?” you quirked a brow. CJ smiled back and brushed your cheek with his thumb.

“I just need you to trust me a little more,” he said.

You nodded, smiling when his forehead gently rested against yours. The ends of his hair tickled between your brows.

“Okay, I’m sorry too,” you said. “Next time I won’t be so quick on the draw.”

You leaned up for a kiss. CJ met you there, sweetly at first. Then he tilted his head and deepened the angle of his lips moving against yours.

“Ooh save that for later,” Joey said, loudly from behind you.

It made you jolt in CJ’s arms. You turned your head and met your friend with a wide-eyed look of confusion. She held an empty wine bottle in her hand and waggled mischievous brows.

“Come on, let’s play.”

You really couldn’t believe that Joey was making you all play Spin the Bottle. For you, it was the stuff of awkward middle school horror stories of the highest form. She’d roped in you and CJ, Jen, Jack, Pacey and their roommate Emma, and Gus, a gross looking guy who was apparently her "fiancé" of some sort. 

Gus took the first turn, and got creative with it—giving Joey a nice lick on the cheek.

That’s what you get for making us play this dumbass game, you thought as you laughed.

Joey ended up giving Jack a sweet kiss, followed by him and Emma sharing a little lip-lock, and even Emma and Jen giggling as they came together for a peck.

But when it was Jen’s turn, the wine bottle spun, and spun…and landed on CJ. A chorus of “ooohs” came from the others.

You felt yourself bristle internally. It’s just a game, you reminded yourself. Just a stupid, stupid game.

You patted CJ’s knee and tried to school your face into amusement.

“You’re up, babe,” you said.

He looked a bit uncomfortable when he met your eyes, and then Jen’s. She wore a smile, though she was a little absent in the eyes. She’d been pounding hard liquor pretty much all night.

“All right, CJ. Let’s get this over with,” she teased.

He let out a subtle breath through his nose, but he uncurled his arm from around you so that he could lean over to meet Jen across the circle. Instead of the light peck that he was aiming for, she surprised him by taking his face in her hands and giving him a kiss deep enough to make him taste the burn of whiskey.

He parted from her with a flinch. His eyes blinked wide. A quick glance around the circle told him he wasn’t the only one who was surprised, but you were the only one he cared about. He settled back next to you and felt guilty for your muted disbelief, even though he wasn’t the real perpetrator here.

CJ frowned hard at Jen. She just smiled and crossed her arms around her legs, head bobbing to the tune of the alt rock music playing.

“Damn, Jen,” Pacey said, laughing uncomfortably. “That’s some dedication to the game.”

You were still shocked into stillness. You knew Jen was a bit deep into the bottle, but was she really drunk enough to try and make out with your boyfriend in front of you?

Joey finally dropped her hands from her face (she’d been watching the scene through the cracks in her fingers). She gave you an apologetic look. She was very effing drunk as well, you knew, but not make out with your boyfriend in front of you—drunk.

You finally looked over at CJ, not knowing who you should be more irritated with: Jen for sticking her tongue down his throat, or CJ for letting her.

“It’s your turn, bro,” Gus said. Not that he cared about whoever CJ landed on. He just wanted the chance to kiss another one of the girls. Preferably Emma.

CJ shook his head. “I don’t think I—”

“Go ahead,” you said. Your tone was a challenge, as were your crossed arms, and the tight expression on your face. “It’s just a game, right?”

That last part, you aimed at Jen. She finally had enough self-awareness to avert her drunken gaze. Your teeth were grinding.

Though you had to pause when you realized where CJ’s spun bottle had landed: right on you.

“Aw, well that’s good,” Joey said, with a nervous laugh that broke some of the tension in this little circle.

CJ let out a subtle breath of relief himself. But this was a whole new challenge as he met your steely gaze. He tried to give you a smile.

Your eyes fell. So with a small sigh, he gently took your chin between his fingers and tilted your face up to him, just before he leaned in to kiss you.

He plied you softly at first. His lips dragged against yours in a slow, lingering kiss. Then he angled his head away from the circle, away from prying eyes as he brushed his tongue across your lower lip, seeking entrance. You inhaled deeply, and you couldn’t help but let him in.

You uncrossed your arms and found his cheek with your hand. Your fingers soon delved into his hair, nails lightly scraping the back of his neck. He barely restrained a shudder.

“Ah, okay then,” Pacey muttered.

When you parted from CJ, your heart was racing, and there was a fire in your belly that you could see reflected in his eyes.

“I’m a little thirsty, you wanna…” he trailed. You nodded and let him help you off the ground where you all had been sitting.

CJ’s arm once again wrapped around your waist, and he led you into the first bedroom he could find. The door shut against the blaring music, the sounds of laughter and stories and dumb middle school games.

Until all that was left was you and CJ, and the sounds of quick breaths, clothes hitting the floor, and skin against skin.

“I’m sorry about earlier. With the game,” CJ later said. “Jen took me by surprise.”

Much later, where you were tangled up in his arms and the sheets, both of you mostly naked and tucked under the covers. You felt bad that you didn’t even know whose bedroom this was.

Jack’s maybe? You could only hope so. That would probably be the least awkward situation if you two were caught in here.

But at CJ’s question, your blissful mood of moments before was wiped away. Your face dropped into a frown. You turned in his arms so that you could see his face, resting your head on his arm.

“Yeah, what the hell was that with Jen?” you asked.

CJ soothed a hand up and down your arm. He knew it was time for him to come clean with you, even though he knew it might make you look at him differently. He could only hope that it wouldn’t.

“Before you and I started talking, dating—well, you know what happened with me and Audrey,” he said, expelling a breath of regret. “Before then, Jen had feelings for me.”

Your eyes widened. By now you could’ve guessed that Jen wanted your boyfriend, but you had no idea it had started way back then. CJ looked you in the eyes.

“I just didn’t feel the same way,” he said. “Then Audrey and I happened, just the one night. But Jen…I know I hurt her, and I felt terrible. I still feel bad about that, because I never meant to hurt her. I just thought Audrey and I had a connection.”

“And then Pacey,” you supplied, realizing where this story was headed. A fight between Pacey and CJ. Audrey left for rehab in California. And Jen was left to nurse her wounded pride and hurt feelings…especially when you and CJ began for real.

You closed your eyes on a sigh. This explained why she’d been so frigid to you lately.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” CJ said. “I didn’t want to come between you guys, or hurt her more by pursuing another one of her friends…I just couldn’t help falling for you.”

At that admission, you softened. You caressed CJ’s cheek, and you brought him down to you for a kiss. Again, it was slow and unhurried, yet no less passionate.

Your lips parted from his first, so you could meet his eyes.

“I’ll talk to Jen,” you said. “But…I’m glad I fell for you too.”

You and CJ shared a quiet moment then, each of you processing, hands intertwined. It had you thinking about everything he said tonight, even before the game. 

“Yeah, I’ve been thinking about it. Fine,” he’d said. “Just like I’ve been trying to find some normalcy with you here. But apparently you find that wildly insulting.”

You sighed and squeezed his hand. It was comfortably trapped between his bare chest and yours.

“Just for the record, you don’t have to be ‘normal’ for me, or be what you think I want around my friends. Just be you,” you said, meeting his green-eyed gaze. “I do trust you, CJ. I trust that you want to be with me, and that you have a handle on yourself.”

CJ smiled ruefully. He ran his thumb across the back of your hand.

“You were right though. The truth is I did get a little nervous tonight,” he said. “Being here, seeing Pacey…it brought up all that drama again. I took that vodka soda from him, and I was thinking about drinking it.”

“But you didn’t,” you said firmly. “Because you’re strong. Stronger than anyone I know.”

CJ looked down at your hand joined with his, at your face, set with honesty and vehemence. You seemed to believe every word of what you were saying. That alone made him feel strong.

“Thanks,” he said with a smile.

It hadn’t been all that long, but he knew this felt right. It always felt right with you.

You smiled back at him and leaned up for a sweeter kiss.  

“Thank you for bending your own rules for me,” you teased.

CJ chuckled. He stroked your cheek and pressed another kiss to your forehead.

“You’re my one exception,” he said.   

AN: As frustrated as CJ made me at times, somehow he weasels his way back into my heart. 😂💗 If you enjoyed this, let me know!

Ko-Fi Me ☕

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[latelyanobsession]

She’s A Runner - Part Two

credit

summary you reluctantly agree to let billy drive you home in a snowstorm. he learns more about you. and maybe you’re learning a bit more about him too. maybe this won’t blow up in your face after all.

warnings references to past sexual assault, past trauma/abuse, cursing, trauma response behavior, angst

word count 2,331 (my longest so far)

note Inspired by Billy Squier’s She’s A Runner

Prologue / Part One

As always any feedback is much appreciated. Thanks for reading!

“You live on Birch, yeh?” he asked.

“Yeah. 3240 Birch.” you looked forward out the windshield.

The snow was beginning to swirl. The wind batting it about the parking lot as the sun began to set over the football field.

The revving of the camaro’s engine snapped your attention back to reality. Billy chuckling at your reaction, as he pulled off school property.

“What the hell do you keep under that hood?” you asked half joking.

He shifted gears, gaining traction. A proud smile on his face.

“You know much about cars?”

“I drive a Datsun.” you answered dryly.

He laughed, maybe even louder than he intended. You were sorta funny.

“So...” he downshifted, taking a right.

“So...?” you looked over at him.

“You lived in Hawkins forever?” he questioned, shifting again.

“No. I moved here when I was nine.” 

“Oh? Where’s the firecracker really from?”

“Seattle.”

He shifted and made another left turn. Your street was three blocks away.

He didn’t think someone else from the west coast would’ve been crazy enough to land themselves in this cow pie’s excuse of a town. 

And yet here you were.

“So why’d you move out to the sticks?”

You shifted in your seat uneasily.

“My dad died... mom still has family here.”

Billy fell quiet, the speed of the car dropping.

“Sorry to hear...” he muttered, hands fidgeting on the steering wheel.

“Don’t be. I’ve heard enough ‘I’m sorries’ to last me a lifetime.”

“This is me. Here.” you pointed.

Billy pulled into your driveway.

It was a modest two-story home. Not much bigger than his own. Robin egg blue with white trim. 

There were Christmas lights still decorating the bushes and shrubs. The heavy snow atop them made them look like marshmallows covered in rainbow sprinkles.

A crudely made snowman was in the front yard with a mop on its head and a bra and underwear adorning its form. 

Billy’s eyes were taking in the whole scene as you let a few choice obscenities slip from your lips.

“Swear to God Petey...” you growled loudly as Billy saw the snowman.

“Petey?”

“My little brother...” you said in exasperation.

“We’re in a bit of a war.” you explained.

A look of amusement filled Billy’s features.

“Some of Petey’s buds were teasing that I was his girlfriend and I leaned into it... he didn’t like that.”

“He’s been taking the bus for the past two months.” you smirked delightedly.

Billy grinned. He hadn’t considered someone like you to be so devious.

“That supposed to be you...?” he pointed to the yard.

“Yes...I s’pose so. He needs to keep his paws out of my drawers. Gremlin.”

Billy looked over to see the front door open, a boy with sandy blonde hair and glasses standing in the doorway giving you ‘the bird’ with both hands. 

He couldn’t have been much older than Max.

“He’s not gonna live to see tomorrow...” you slumped in your seat.

Chuckling, Billy reached back and retrieved your backpack for you.

“Where’s your mom?”

You took the bag gratefully, holding it in your lap.

“At work. She works graves at Hawkins Memorial. So it’s usually just me and Petey most of the day.”

To Billy the thought of having his father gone nearly the entire day seemed like heaven, but the look that lingered in your eyes told him otherwise.

“I guess you gotta go then?” he asked.

“Yeah.” you sighed.

Carefully getting out of the car so you wouldn’t slip, you walked around to the driver’s side. He rolled down the window.

“Hey.... uh, thanks.”

Billy waved your gratitude away with a casual hand as he pulled a cigarette from his breast pocket and lit it.

“Don’t mention it.”

“Saturday.” you blurted out.

“Saturday?” he repeated.

“Saturday. 7 o’clock. .... and after, you can help me figure out whether or not I should donate my car to the school lost and found.” you smiled dumbly.

A smile graced his features. His eyes lighting up.

“Saturday.” he declared.

He rolled up his window, giving two honks of his horn before driving off. You waved goodbye before you went to retrieve your clothes from the snowman. Yelling loudly as you walked in the front door. 

“What the hell Petey?”

It seemed like Friday came and went in a flash. As was suspected. A snow day was called. School had been cancelled. 

You spent the day shoveling out your driveway and doing homework. Making dinner for you and Petey once the day ended.

The TV was on, Petey was watching Dukes of Hazzard, when the phone rang.

“Petey keep it down!” you hollered around the corner.

“Y/L/N residence?” you answered.

“Hey Firecracker.” Billy drawled from the other end of the line.

“Billy?” the surprise thick in your voice.

“Yeh.” he hummed.

“How’d you get my number?” you probed suspiciously.

“I asked Tina. She asked Betty. Who leaned on Natalie....” he sounded far too happy with his detective skills. 

You did after all have an unlisted number.

“Poor Natalie...” you said openly. She was your only close friend, but she folded like a dollar bill in a hurricane when it came to keeping information private. 

The girl was the personification of a shrinking violet. And by comparison she made you look extremely outgoing and confident. 

She wore dresses and listened to Franky Valli and Elvis. You wore denim and listened to pretty much anything you could get your hands on. 

You kept your hair long and side swept, ignoring the growing trends for huge volume and feathered hair. She wore her hair in ponytails with bows. You hardly ever pulled your hair up aside from gym.

She wore cardigans. You wore corduroy. She loved the 50s. You loved the 70s.

The two of you couldn’t have been more different. 

“You may owe her damages Hargrove...” you warned sarcastically but also protectively.

He chuckled. “Maybe... Just wanted to tell ya to dress warm tomorrow night.”

“Why? You taking me on an outing to the Overlook Hotel?”

You couldn’t resist deviling him.

He snorted. “I just might if you keep it up.”

A smile was on your lips, as you coiled your fingers in the phone cord. 

“Looking forward to it, but til then I gotta go. Dinner’s getting cold.”

“K, see ya.” 

You hung up the phone, Petey smugly looking at you from the kitchen.

“Shut up. Before I make you shut up. Twerp.” you warned pointing at the table.

“You gonna kiss him?” he teased.

You slapped the plates onto the table, dishing veggies and meatloaf onto his and your plates.

“I just might. And if I do? You may even have to see it.” you threatened.

Petey looked utterly disgusted. Shaking his head profusely, shoving his tongue out in the most horrified face he could muster.

“Uaggh!”

You laughed.

Saturday night came quickly. Quicker than you thought. 

You never pegged yourself as a girl who was indecisive and yet here you were with clothes strewn everywhere.

The only thing you had decided on was your underwear because you knew that was not happening tonight.

Holding up one sweater to your neck, you then switched to the sweater you were holding in your right hand. 

Why is this such a process? Men have it so much easier.

By around 6:34 you finally decided on a cream cable knit sweater that was far at the back of your closet. 

It was bit lower cut than you were typically used to, but the color really warmed the tone of your skin and the light in your eyes. It was perfect.

You matched it against a pair of dark washed straight leg jeans and your favorite leather boots.

Blowing out your hair and gently brushing the curls loose, you generously sprayed your look and prayed it would hold. Soft, bouncy, sleek, and shiny. Heather Locklear would only be so proud of you if she knew.

The doorbell rang. Your heart skipping a beat.

“Petey! Petey!” you bellowed over the bannister.

“Yeh yeh yeh! I know!” he screamed back up at you, pulling himself away from the TV.

You could hear the deep timbre of Billy’s voice from the living room below as you finalized your mascara.

He and Petey were talking about something. Hopefully Petey wasn’t selling you out.

Placing small pearl studs on your ears, you looked yourself over one last time.

Here goes nothing. 

It was your first date in nearly two years.

Gingerly stepping down the staircase you stopped on the bottom step.

There Billy was in a steel blue button down shirt, only half done up, dark blue jeans and black leather boots. 

A wool-lined black leather bomber jacket was clutched in his left hand.

He paused his conversation with your brother, his eyes raking over you, softening as his gaze met yours.

“Beautiful.” he commented.

You smiled, a blush coloring your cheeks. 

“Thanks, not so bad yourself.” you muttered.

Petey elicited an exaggerated gag. 

Shooting your brother ‘a look’, you pulled on your winter coat.

“You said it was going to be cold...” you questioned.

“I did.” Billy confirmed.

“So what’s with the shirt?” you motioned to his chest.

Waving goodbye to Petey you shut the front door, following Billy to the camaro.

Shrugging the jacket over his broad shoulders, he unlocked the car.

“It’s just my look.” Billy stated sliding into his seat.

“Well it’s a damn good way to get frostbite...” you said seriously.

“You don’t get much snow where you’re from, do you?” you quipped.

“In San Diego? Once maybe.” he pondered.

He turned the ignition, backing down the driveway.

“Ahhhh.... that explains it”  you reasoned.

He paused in the road, an eyebrow high in expectation.

“So this whole macho thing is really just a Californian in deep denial.” you observed.

He barked out a laugh, lowering his foot on the accelerator.

“Yer a helluva smartass.” he stated.

You smiled slyly. “Guilty.”

The drive was relatively short, as Billy pulled onto the McCorkle’s Farm. 

They had been running a lights display and small winter festival with input from the city beginning just after Christmas. This was the last weekend in January it would be running.

“Ah! I’ve never had any time to come see this!” you smiled.

Billy let out an inaudible sigh. He had hoped that you hadn’t already been here before, like every other girl at Hawkins High who were all incessantly talking about it.

The display was far from spectacular, but it was quaint. Electric lights in the shapes of snowflakes and reindeer pinned to hay bales. Lights were strung everywhere, across the dormant bean poles in the field, and even the tractor.

Billy walked up to you with a steaming cup of hot chocolate. You took it graciously.

“So aside from the snow... how do you like Hawkins?” you asked.

He shoved his hands in his pockets.

“S’okay I guess.” he shrugged.

You took a sip of the hot drink.

“I call bullshit.” you prodded.

He looked at you harshly. You gave him a smug look.

“Everyone new hates this place. If you were excited about being here I’d call you mental.”

You both giggled knowingly.

“Yeh.” he sighed, digging the toe of his boot into the snow.

You both started walking. Critiquing the half-hazard decorations, and sharing stories about what winters were like in California and Washington.

Before you knew it time had caught up with you. It was time to head home.

Settling into the camaro Billy revved up the engine for show as a couple tweens oggled his ride.

“What’dya think?” he asked tentatively.

“That was great.” you hummed happily, your cheeks still pink from the cold.

“Good” he hummed.

Arriving to your house, Billy got out, opening your door.

“I had a really great time tonight.” you smiled brightly.

“Glad to hear.” he said pridefully.

Stepping out of the car, he shut your door.

“I’ll see you on Monday.” you went to head for the porch, when he grabbed your wrist pulling you back.

You looked at him a moment in question. Billy smirked.

“For such a smartass you really didn’t see this coming?” he teased.

Wrapping a hand around the back of your neck he pulled you into a kiss.

Instinctively you braced your hands against his chest. You were quite shocked.

It had been so long since you had kissed anyone. Were you even doing it right?

God forbid you fuck this up. The night had been so perfect.

He moved. Wrapping his free hand around your waist. Brushing his lips against yours softly.

You wrapped your fingers in the fabric of his shirt, deepening the kiss.

It felt like he couldn’t possibly pull you any closer and yet he was still trying. You felt like you were going to suffocate, with him as your sole lifeline.

He broke away, trailing open mouthed kisses down your chin to your jaw. Searching. You weren’t certain for what.

You let out the softest and most sinful sound your ears had ever heard as his lips swept across the corner edge of where your jaw and neck met.

Suddenly his kisses were becoming desperate, harsher. You were trying to keep yourself from crying out. The sound frightened you. 

His hands were traveling. Becoming rough. Groping. As he pulled at the hem of your sweater.

“Billy” you heaved.

He kept going.

“Billy st-stop!” you cried weakly.

You shoved at him as much as you possibly could.

He took a step back, a look of utter shock and hurt in his eyes.

“Stop.” you repeated more courageously, pulling your coat tight around you.

“I’m going in... good night.” you walked to the porch, his eyes were on you the entire time.

He looked as if you had slapped him across the face.

Opening the door you stepped inside, and turned to face him.

Back in the camaro, Billy was hastily pulling from the driveway. The engine revved as he sped from the street. 

Without a word.

Thank you for reading! If you would like to be added to my tags list for this series please interact with the separate tag post I have HERE.

[johnkrrasinski]

started from a call

full masterlist

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x female!reader

Word count: 3,610

Warning: angst with a happy ending! that's all.

Summary: written for @wkemeup's 9k writing challenge with the prompt "character a leaves an embarrassing, drunk message on character b’s voicemail and spends the rest of the night trying to discreetly delete it from [b]’s phone." inspired by a bit of ross and rachel from friends too. you found out from steve that bucky was in love with you in high school but after he returns home with a girl in his arm, you cancelled your plans to tell him how you feel. will you and bucky have your happy ending?

a/n: please like, reblog and leave a feedback. :) enjoy!

"Alright, I'll see you tonight. Bye." He leaned against the kitchen counter and hung up the phone with a grin on his face. "You hear that, Sam? We're going on our third date tonight." He threw his phone up into the air and caught it so casually without spilling a drop of his coffee sitting on his right hand. "Looks like I'm getting that 300 bucks soon."

"Hey, easy. You ain't going to that date yet, who knows? She could bail on you. It doesn't count if the date doesn't end well."

"Oh, but it will. I just gotta turn on my charm and next thing you know, we're already meeting the parents stage."

"Meeting the parents? That's a big step from you, Buck."

"Hey, I'm a man of my words. If I said that I'm going to change this year then I'm gonna stick to it."

"So Leah isn't just a one-time thing to get 300 bucks?"

"Maybe yes, maybe no. We'll see how tonight goes. But one thing's for sure is that I'm getting that 300 bucks."

Sam and Bucky made a bet as their New Year's resolution that Bucky would never go on a second date with any girl or remember to call her in the morning after a wild night. His commitment issues had given him a reputation as the player in the gang. It wasn't a new thing anymore to anyone that when they visited Bucky's place in the morning, they would see a girl with a dopey smile and slightly ruffled hair walking out of his apartment, giddy that Bucky just made a promise to call her later.

You, Natasha, Wanda, Sam and Steve were hanging out at Nat's place. The six of you had been friends since college. You, Nat, Bucky and Steve had known each other since high school and the four of you kept in touch despite going to separate universities. You met Wanda when you went to NYU and Steve met Sam while he was in Harvard. Long story short, after the four of you graduated, you and Wanda lived together as roommates and even started your own bakery business. Steve and Bucky lived in the same building as you and Natasha and Sam lived nearly alone. They were too independent for roommates. Don't even start on Natasha and how much she valued her personal space. That's how the six of you ended up here, gathered at your place on a Saturday afternoon.

"Are you gonna pick her up tonight?"

"Of course. Gonna clean up well, bring her some flowers and knock on her door at 7 pm precisely. Which girl isn't gonna fall for that?" Bucky walked over to the couch you and Nat were sitting on and leaned on the headrest, his arms caging both you and Natasha.

You didn't say anything nor did Natasha because she knew about your feelings for Bucky. Despite never feeling that way about Bucky in high school, your feelings changed a week ago after learning that Bucky used to be in love with you but never had the courage to tell you. That's why he never had a girlfriend during his high school years and he wanted to take you to prom and confess his feelings to you but he was too late. Another guy had already snooped in first.

You were his first love but it wasn't reciprocated until now. That's why in college, he learned how to get over you and slept with as many women as possible because he felt like he lost four years of his life of finding the one. He never intended to be a player and feed girls empty promises, it just kind of became his way of dating. He was too afraid that no one could live up to you yet he enjoyed being with women. Hence, the bet.

The day you found out from Steve about Bucky's past feelings for you while playing truth or dare, you immediately wanted to call him up but Bucky was out of town for a few days and as soon as he was back home, he had Leah in his arm. Your heart was crushed. Wanda told you that it would probably last for a few days and that he'd eventually be single again but you totally did not expect this thing to turn into something serious. You loved Sam with every fibre of your being, he was like the big brother you never had, but you wanted to curse him for making that bet.

So you just rolled your eyes and stayed silent throughout this entire conversation, even though your heart felt like it was being stabbed over and over again. "Alright, I gotta go. Got a big date tonight. I'll see you guys in a few hours." Just like that, Bucky walked out of the room without knowing the pain his words caused you.

The next day you were sitting in your bed watching The Notebook in your pyjamas because you were too heartbroken to do anything productive. It was Sunday so you could just have a whole day to yourself and do absolutely nothing but cry. Wanda knocked on your door bringing a plate of cookies and she had a pitiful look on her face. "y/n? Sweetie? I made you these cookies, they might make you feel better." Sometimes you thank the stars for bringing her into your life.

"Thank you, Wanda. You're so nice to me." You know you probably sound like a hormonal whiny kid but everything made you cry at the moment.

"Do you need anything else? I know how it feels to get your heartbroken, trust me. When me and Vision had a fight and we didn't talk for days all I wanted was to curl up and never leave my bed, so in case you need anything, I'm here." She offered you that warm smile of hers.

"No, all I want right now is to just eat these cookies and go back to my film, thanks Wan."

"Okay, I'll be outside." Your pity party was interrupted when Nat arrived in her leather jacket and burst into your room.

"Get up, you are taking a shower and you're getting that face beat."

"Natasha, what the hell? Leave me alone."

"Y/N, listen to me. I got a date for you. His name is Scott and he's a real nice guy, he's funny, he's a good friend of mine and he is really smart. He is so much better than Bucky, I promise you. Now c'mon, I already told him that you are meeting him tonight at Stark's restaurant at 7."

You whined, doing anything you can to get her to leave you alone with your tears and your cookies but you knew that once Natasha set her mind on something, there's no talking her way out of it. Damn that woman with her determination.

"Y/N, c'mon! Wallowing all day isn't you. I know you and what's good for you. That's why I found you a great guy who will charm you so good that you will forget Barnes even existed. You can't let him win, y/n. If he's going to be happy with someone else, then you better show him that you can be much happier with other people."

You stared at her, trying to absorb her words. There's some wisdom in that. You're not the type to cry over a guy, not even for even Bucky Barnes. So you let Natasha drag you to the shower and asked Wanda to do your hair when she does your makeup. She chose an outfit for you, a dress that was not too sexy but chic enough to leave a good first impression.

Scott was early to the restaurant and he looked elated to see you. He was wearing a grey suit with no tie and he had a really exuberant smile on his face, the type that drew people easily. You could see why Natasha called him a nice guy.

"Wow, sorry, I just- didn't expect you to be this beautiful."

"Ah, thank you, Scott. Have you been waiting long?"

"No, not at all. I just arrived here like five minutes ago."

The night went on and Scott did most of the asking and talking, you answered each question curtly with forced enthusiasm in your face and body language. You weren't even listening to half of the things he said because your mind kept playing images of Bucky with Leah and how you heard from Sam that the date went well so he lost 300 bucks. You kept thinking about Bucky and Leah and how they would probably get married and have kids and live in the suburbs with a golden retriever while you'd still be single and you'd compare every man you meet to Bucky. Maybe it was your karma for not reciprocating his feelings in high school.

Five glasses of wine and you spent more time nodding than talking. Honestly, all you wanted to do was to just go home and go back to The Notebook because their love story was much better than your love life. Scott woke you out of your daze, "Natasha told you that I was cuter than this, did she?" after you gulped your sixth glass of wine.

"Oh Scott, I'm so sorry. It's not you, it's me. I know it sounds cliche but it's just... I'm not in a place where I'm looking for a boyfriend. You are a really likeable guy and I swear, if we had met at another time, maybe I would be a better date but right now, I just- I have someone else in my mind." You sighed, it felt like a relief to get that off your chest.

"Is this guy... an ex-boyfriend?"

You chuckled, "no... He wishes."

Scott nodded, "look, I don't know what your situation is but I've been through a divorce and it's never easy. But eventually, you'll be fine. You can't see it now because you haven't had closure." Then it was as if the bulb above your head was turned on.

"That's it.  Closure, yeah. That's all I need. Okay, give me a minute. I'm gonna call him now and I'm going to get my closure."

Scott sat there watching you comically trying to find your phone in your purse and tapped on Bucky's contact number. The normal you would be sweating with every ring but intoxicated you had no worries in the world... For now.

"This is Bucky. Can't pick up right now, leave a message." Beep.

"Hello, yes, Bucky! Or James, should I call you James? I always thought Bucky was a weird name. Anyways, I'm just calling to tell you that I am fine and I am on a date with Scott. And speaking of dates, I just gotta tell you that I'm happy to hear that your date went well. And that, my friend, means that I am over you. That's right, I'm over you. Tell Leah I say hi." You said sarcastically.

You hung up the phone and threw your phone back into your purse. You felt like you just won a chess game.

The next morning you decided to sleep in because your heart was pounding and you could barely sit up without feeling like you might fall. You were supposed to be working at the bakery but since you owned the bakery, Wanda let you sleep it off until you recover. You couldn't remember anything from last night, how you got back to your apartment was a mystery. You tried to put the pictures together, from being forced to go on a date, meeting a guy named Sean? Simon? Sebastian? Scott! Yes, Scott. You ordered your meals and then... Nothing, it was all blurry. You weren't even sure if anything happened at all after eating your meals.

The apartment was empty because Wanda was working at the bakery and it was just you with your hangover pills. Bucky came to your apartment without knocking because Wanda told him on the phone that you were home. He greeted you with a smile and asked about your date.

"Uh, let's see. I think there was a restaurant, I know there was wine. And there's a guy, Scott and pretty much that's all I can recall."

Bucky made a yikes face. Seeing the state you were in, he could do the math (of the wine you had). You probably enjoyed the alcohol more than the guy. What a doofus, he thought. If he was the one going on a date with you, you'd definitely remember every detail from last night.

"Leah's downstairs and I'm taking her back to her place but I left my keys here last night. Have you seen it?"

"No, check the drawers. Maybe Wanda put 'em there."

"Ah, okay." He opened the drawers and found the keys to his bike.

"Did we... Speak on the phone last night?"

"Nope, my phone was dead and I didn't charge it all night so I haven't really checked it. Why?"

"Nothing, nothing. It's just... Never mind. My memories are a bit hazy right now. You should go, say hi to Leah for me."

Bucky nodded as you walked back to your room to go lie down. Your question reminded him that he should probably check his phone now because there could be work-related messages but the first thing he heard was a voicemail from you. "Oh, y/n. I got your message!"

That instantly stopped you in your tracks. Your eyes went wide and you froze. You immediately turned around and ran to grab his phone away from him. Bucky had a confused look on his face, "who's Scott?"

"Oh my God, no, Bucky, give me the phone. Give me the phone!" But it was already too late, he was already halfway through your voicemail and by the time you successfully snatched his phone out of his grasp, he had already heard every word.

Bucky stood there dumbfounded, he needed time to process everything you just said to him. "What do you- what do you mean you're over me?"

"Oh, God... Alright, um- lately, I've um- sort of, have... Feelings for you." You never had to chase a guy or confess your crush first so this felt new and my God, it was nerve-racking.

"You have feelings for me..." He said it as if he was convincing himself that his ears got it right. Bucky couldn't believe the words that just escaped through your lips, for years he had dreamed of this moment. Though never did he ever want you to make the first move but adolescent him wanted to hear you say what he'd been wanting to say to you too.

He didn't say anything for what felt like minutes and you couldn't decipher his thoughts from the look on his face. "I need to sit down," he pulled one of the dining chairs and leaned on his side in a defeated posture.

"Bucky... Please say something." You alerted him in a hushed tone, not wanting to startle him than you already did. But he didn't. He was lost at words. What the hell was he supposed to tell her?

"Look Bucky, I'm sorry for telling you this way but I had to. I just- I've been wanting to talk to you about it since you came back to New York, well- actually, since Steve told me but-"

"Whoa, Steve told you?!" He interrupted.

"Yeah, it just accidentally slipped when we were playing truth or dare..."

"Okay well," he stood up from his seat, yet he still couldn't look you in the eye. "I can't do this right now, Leah's waiting for me downstairs and I gotta go." He basically ran out of the room and slammed the door behind him, leaving you alone.

Once your hangover had begun dissipating, you decided to help Wanda at the bakery and took the night shift. She must've been exhausted from managing the bakery alone while also helping the employees in the kitchen so you told her to go home and leave it to you. The bakery's usually slower at night.

When it was nearing closing time and your employees had gone home, you decided to clean up and turned off the lights and checked everything one last time before locking the door. The bell above the door dinged and you were slightly annoyed because who the hell comes to the bakery at this hour?

"I'm sorry we're clo...sed." It was Bucky. He stood there in a black coat, with an expression you still couldn't figure out. "Bucky, what are you-"

"You have no right to tell me that you've got feelings for me." His tone was harsh, he never spoke that way to you or anyone... Ever.

"What?"

He walked closer to you, maintaining his gaze, "You can not tell me that you've got feelings for me now when I'm doing well with my life and Leah..."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"I was in love with you for years! Years, y/n! And you never said and did anything and now when everything's going well you're ruining it!"

"I am ruining it?" You repeated the question because you couldn't believe what you just heard. How dare he said those hurtful things to you.

"Yes! I was doing fine with Leah and now I don't know what's going to happen with me and her anymore..."

"Yeah, well, I was doing fine before I found out that YOU were in love with me and never had the balls to tell me!" You did everything you could to not cry, you hated crying in the middle of an argument.

"Hey, it's not like I didn't try. There were your ex-boyfriends and your dates and I had to move on. I couldn't wait forever! And now, now you're too late."

"Oh, so what? You're just gonna walk away and pretend that this never happened?"

"Yes, I'm going to do exactly that and I'm going to go see Leah." He turned around like he did earlier in your apartment and left you alone once again with your heartbreak.

"Fine! Go ahead and see Leah because I don't give a fuck about cowards like you or whoever you sleep with." You slammed the door and tried everything you could to not have a breakdown here because you really hated letting an argument hurt you. You sat on one of the chairs where the customers would sit and you hid your face with your hands and cried.

Not because you just lost an argument but because of what Bucky said and it felt like you had lost Bucky before you even had him. Now there was no hope left for you and Bucky, things were too complicated.

You didn't know how long you had cried there, alone, in the dimmed lighting of your shop but after you felt like the tears had dried, you wiped the traces of your tears from your cheeks with the back of your thumb. You stood from your seat and was ready to go home. You couldn't wait to eat some leftover pizzas, take a warm shower and cry into your pillows until you fall asleep.

But when you were about to leave, you saw Bucky standing on the other side of the door, watching you through the windows with a softer expression on his face. You opened the door and Bucky instantly grabbed your waist and kissed you as if his life depended on it.

You gave in to his kiss, letting him pour every desire and yearning into your lips for as long as he wanted. You grabbed his face because you wanted him impossibly closer and you shut your eyes, letting your guard down. Because it was Bucky, and you'd known him for as long as you could remember and you both deserved this moment.

Bucky eventually pulled away until both of you were running out of air. You were breathless from his kiss, you never knew he was such a good kisser. (It's Bucky and he's had a lot of women on his bed, of course, he was excellent at it. Who were you kidding?) But now that you've had your own front-row experience, you felt a tad of possessiveness at the thought of sharing those lips or any part of him with anyone else.

"I couldn't go back to her knowing you are here alone and I had thrown away what I've wanted for as long as I could remember."

"I'm glad you came back." You pressed your foreheads and you rested your hands on his chest. You could get used to this.

"I hope it's not too late to say this but, y/n y/l/n, will you let me take you to dinner and see a movie after maybe?"

"I wasn't the one who said it's too late," you halfheartedly teased him.

"Shut up, so is that a yes or a no?"

You bit your lip and nodded, "yes. Definitely a yes." You stared into his ocean blue eyes, so deep and beautiful, you could easily get lost in it.

"y/n y/ln, I'm going to put all of your ex-boyfriends to shame."

"Hm, we'll see about that." You put your arms around his neck. Then a thought crossed your mind and your smile faded away, "what are you gonna do about Leah though?"

"I'll talk to her in the morning. Let's take you home now, yeah? It's getting late."

You bit your lip and nodded, "okay."

Ninth grade you dreamed of popular jocks and athletic seniors, but little did you know that, sometimes, the one who sincerely loved you was the book nerd who loved The Hobbit a little too much.

[evansbby]

omg– that poyt drabble i– chef’s kisses all over 🥹!

i don’t think my heart could be in any tighter chokehold than steve being all sweet on omega in one hand and just such an asshole the next second 😭 but hey, if daddy is proud of us for working so hard planning our first halloween party it’s gotta be worth it, right?

but now, i’m thinking into all the what-ifs for that party… what WOULD have bucky done if he got omega into his room? mayhaps he either a) fucked her, b) comforted her, or c) both?? i’d like to think that it really could’ve been a one-night thing where bucky would’ve had omega all to himself and keep it a secret out of respect to his friendship with steve, but then again, maybe he wouldn’t have given any fucks and continued to take omega away from him 👀

anyways, poor jake 🥺 he’s just an alpha that needs to be loved on real bad! i was really rooting for omega and him to at least play one of the halloween games together given that he was just so lonely and omega really put her all into that party… i’m starting a petition fo extend poyt universe and give jake his own omega! it’s what he deserves 😤

also not steve jr being a little prisoner just to be called a pervert 💀 hey, pot and kettle i guess? apple doesn’t fall far from the tree if yunno what i mean 🙃

i really feel for omega here, but it’s okay! she’ll have plenty of halloween parties to plan once steve gives her all his pups and they’ll be having tons of family halloween parties of their own <3

- 🫶🏼 anon

aaaahhhh thank you so much for this feedback!!! love you😌🫶🏼

AND I think Bucky would’ve just done some inappropriate things to her😨 maybe fucked her, maybe just touched her— depends on how brave he was feeling at the moment!! I doubt he would’ve comforted her tho, I mean he’s the one who killed steve junior after all 😭😭

Aww, a story about Jake finding his own omega would be so cute!! Jake tries to fit in with Steve and the other alphas but they’re sooo mean to him and always pick on him, and although he likes being on the football team, he’d much rather be at home playing video games bc of how awful his teammates are to him😩 ugh, what a missed opportunity bestie, I really should’ve written Jake and omega playing one of the party games together bc he would’ve indulged her😌🫶🏼 I mean, he would’ve straight up DIED right after when Steve saw them together but yeah

[inconvenient-sneezes]

THANK you to @buckysnose​ for the request, support, and general love 💕 and thanks for waiting :’) 

this’ll be a late ’30s drabble bc i love them :3

distant | weed | fuss | struggle | couple | professional | remember | nap | abundant | objective | wrong | discreet | gift | stay | collapse | cabin | practical | defend | haunt | indoor | rhythm | ankle | incentive | healthy | steam | anger | bond | text | correction | visible | guess | cinema | maze | contrary | observer | nuance | neglect | lip | reflection | sniff | authority | illusion | echo | medicine | lace | insurance | knit | dealer | grudge | affair | sofa | expertise | passion | spill | laundry | exposure | shelter | privilege | manner | relax | compromise | sacred | doubt | philosophy | thaw | ticket | bike | bench | vain | bed | improvement | pier | gravity | immune | vigorous | productive | reception | veil | bee | train | harsh | loyalty | fresh | late | mind | highway | sound | frozen | annual | soup | instinct | groan | lonely | spite | bill | crude | dare | magazine | mess | ignore | sketch | flush | liability | camp | brag | sour | compensation

***

prompt(s): soup + grudge

***

“Please open this door, Bucky.” 

Steve’s practically begging. He’s been sick for nearly 2 weeks and just started feeling better when Bucky came down with his flu. 

There’s a pregnant pause, and then what sounds like a sneeze muffled into a blanket. “H-hihH! Hh’TSHHHHP!” Another gasp. “HahH! Hih’TSSCHHHHH!”

He raps on Bucky’s bedroom door again with his knuckles. “I know you’re in there. I can hear you sneezing.” 

“Go away, traitor,” Bucky huffs.

Steve sighs, resting his forehead on the door. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to get you sick. Don’t be such a pill. Besides, I made soup.” 

“Fide,” Bucky croaks, sniffling. 

Bucky sure is a sight for sore eyes. He’s sitting up in bed in his pajamas, nose pink and chapped, hair disheveled. His pajama top isn’t buttoned properly and exposes his whole chest.  

“Oh, Bucky,” Steve says, setting the soup on the nightstand and sitting on the edge of the bed. “You really don’t look well.” 

He doesn’t respond, but instead makes a wild grab for his handkerchief. “Sorry, I’ve godda sd-sdehhh...” His lip curls and it’s over. “H-huh’HHHRRRSHHHOO! Hh’PSSCSCHHHHOO!”

“God bless.” 

“Th-thags,” Bucky chokes out before muffling another strong sneeze into the damp cloth. “H-hih’RRRMPPFT! Hoo.” He exhales, shaking his head a bit. “Sorry, thad last one sduck up od be.” 

Bucky’s normally bright eyes are glazed and shining, and Steve guesses he has a fever.

“Why don’t you drink some water, huh?”

Once Bucky’s occupied, Steve takes the opportunity to button up his top. “You’ve gotta be just freezing.”

As if on cue, Bucky shivers when Steve’s icy hands brush across his bare chest. “Dot really. B-bud—” 

He can’t stop himself and Steve’s hands are still all over him. “I’b godda— HURESHHHHHOO!” He barely turns his head to the side in time. 

“Alright, hotshot.” Steve can’t help smiling at how adorable he looks right now, all tucked into bed. “In the mood for some soup?”

“I kdew you were cooking sobethig, but I couldn’t figure id out,” Bucky says thickly, scrubbing his itchy nose with the back of his hand. 

“Navy bean soup,” Steve says, handing him the steaming bowl. “You’ll love it.” 

“I already do,” Bucky says, the corners of his mouth twitching into a grin. “Thags, Sdeve.” 

***

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