#gotta start remembering what i post
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join me at this pit, we abt to fight to the death wyr
at least i have a height advantage
#sorry ellie#legit didn’t realize what this was about at first#gotta start remembering what i post#♪ asks#♪ mutuals#♪ ellie’s tag
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brocal for the ship bingo?
The OTP to end all other OTPs... (Man. This wound up being basically Cori's Masterpost of BroCal. AKA... this got long and has some images, since I realized I can post my own art directly instead of just a text link to it lol.)
Wasn't actually expecting this to wind up with a bingo? But I got basically 2?? (Will explain the lighter heart later.) This is A LONG post, and definitely gonna get SUGGESTIVE, bc man, am I obSESSED with BroCal. I'm just gonna go thru each checked box, since I don't know how else to structure this post lol.
Read More to save ppl's dashboards:
I want them to make out with blood: OKAY. I HAVE A WHOLE THING PLANNED FOR THIS CONCEPT. I AM NOT GOING TO GO INTO DETAIL ABOUT IT JUST YET BC I ACTUALLY WANNA WRITE IT. I'm obsessed with this one fanart of Bro licking Lil Cal, and it spurred on an idea I outlined and really wanna write: https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/739969858334294016/hiiii-mutual-i-am-secrecy-asking-if-u-have-anymore
((Sorry for the plain text links, Tumblr app is NOT cooperating with me right now to add hyperlinks. I'd post the image directly if that one was mine.))
Basically, I just really need to see Bro and Cal making out with blood in their mouths, and I started a whole convoluted, unrelated outline in order to make that hapen. It'll probably just be a really short thing that ends at the uh climax, since otherwise it's gonna end up sadstuck. And I don't like sadstuck lol.
Undeniably t4t: Bro and Dirk are always trans for me, and Lil Cal's got that uh... what percentage did I calculate it out to be? 13% of Dirk is in Lil Cal [ My shitpost calculations: https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/746702663327072256/i-ran-out-of-tags-rambling-about-this-so-im-just ] so Lil Cal is at least 13% trans because of that much of Dirk being in him, plus however you feel about the other components being trans. LMAO this is ridiculous to type out. Moving on.
EDIT: FUTURE CORI INTERJECTING WITH A:
"Lil Cal Top Surgery Healing Progess: Day 1"
Terrible for each other affectionate/derogatory: I don't even know where the affectionate/derogatory split occurs. I multiship BroCal as both Bro/normal puppet Lil Cal and as Bro/evil juju puppet Lil Cal, and whatever combination in between or outside of that. Terrible in that Bro is so obsessed with Cal that he doesn't have normal relationship/social skills and uses Lil Cal as both a crutch and motivator alternately, in a terrible cycle, or maybe rather... spiral. And also terrible in that Bro is caught in the allure of playing the role of puppeteer while also being a puppet for the darker parts of Lil Cal, whether he actively knows it or not. (Honestly though, I feel like it's dismissive if you try to blame all of Bro's faults on Lil Cal like this tho, which is why I tend towards liking Lil Cal as just a regular puppet a lil bit more. Or at least, a regular mildly supernatural puppet since that can be a little more entertaining if Cal can get into mischief while no one's looking or give off the vibes of his mood more directly, rather than like entirely inanimate or 'just LE, trapped in a puppet body.' Again, I like all of these concepts.) ((I mean that can also be a whole post of its own, like, by the time Bro gets ahold of Lil Cal, are any of the other components still alive in there? Like, are ARquius and Gamzee still in there or did Caliborn kill and consume them entirely? Idk how it works, man. This is why I like Lil Cal as his own person, maybe just influenced by the feelings of the others. LaCroix: CalGamARquius essenced water. Lil Croix.))
They need to get weirder with it: YES YES. 1000% YES. I need entirely shameless Bro doing entirely shamless things to Lil Cal. I want them inseparable and doing unspeakable things to each other. I want Bro taking full advantage of Cal having a puppet body and all the intimacy that comes with making repairs and being elbow-deep in stuffing.
Playing with them like dolls cute/psychological torture: This is the same divide as with the 'terrible for each other' point, so I'm just gonna go with the cute one, since the torture one is self-explanatory. I want them fucking married. Like. Full mushy cute romance type of relationship that Bro has never felt for any of the people in his life (cough aromantic cough). I made this comic not too long ago, and I often fondly look back on it, because I adore the concept of Bro being lovey and romantic and everything out of character around Lil Cal because he feels safe and loved and comfortable around Cal:
[ https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/750602227910131712/brocal-4-lyfe-so-i-had-this-idea-of-dave-being ]
I made a post a long, long time ago (not gonna link that one bc it was personal and I was being very obviously mentally ill ["C'mon, like you're not being obviously mentally ill while typing paragraph upon paragraph about BroCal still in 2024 like 10 years later??" Fair.]) But the gist of it was that, like, having objectophilia or objectum sexuality is like, from an outsider pov, it's a way to express love to yourself. You filter all your self-hate through the object you love, and you get back unconditional love in return.
Lil Cal is never gonna hate Bro, no matter what Bro does. As a regular puppet, Lil Cal doesn't have the capacity for hate. And so that only brings them closer, since Cal is never gonna reject Bro for any reason. (Back to being a crutch. RSD is real, and Dave is probably a big trigger for that since he's not on the same wavelength of weird as Bro [not blaming Dave, obviously, this is a post about BroCal].) Bro can experience receiving positive attention from Lil Cal, without feeling 'fake' or uncool by expressing that same attention or affection directly to his own self. (Things are always done through multiple layers with the Striders, aren't they?) ((And I'm not saying Lil Cal doesn't love Bro, or that their relationship is just pretend - it's real, I'm just like, 'What's going on behind the curtain in the mundane situation?/ How is the relationship appealing?' Lil Cal luvs Bro 5eva 4 lyfe and that's a hard fact. Could cut diamonds with that shit.)) Example: maybe Bro is dealing with a bout of body/gender dysphoria and is trying to take out his frustration with working out, and it's not helping, even if he's powered through a set better than normal. Then, he notices the way Lil Cal is watching him, and he can feel the excitement seeping off Cal. He can sense the echoes of a wolf-whistle ring out through his mind, and it's like. Okay, none of that shit from before matters, he's got all the validation he needs right there in Lil Cal. Maybe flex in Cal's direction, Bro?
Oh, so back to being cute: isn't it wonderful how the template maker phrased it as 'playing dolls'? But yeah, I want all the mush and everything. Bro has a whole wardrobe for Lil Cal for every minor event that occurs in the Strider household. I want them going on genuine dates. Maybe even... holding hands. Bro blushes for the first time since he was 16. He even gets to take Lil Cal with him when he goes out to DJ or put on a show. Not to mention the whole website business. (I've talked about Cal's role in that before, but I'll mention it in a moment...)
They will die in a heart shaped pool of blood: I mean, kinda did happen, even tho Lil Cal didn't perma die right there. I don't think this one needs any explanation, since it basically happens in canon.
'You should see the other guy...': Okay, so. About 11 years ago, I had a really great idea. About how smuppets enter this world. I expanded on it in the following more-recent post (adult only content lol): https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/741683686717669376/back-in-the-day-my-friends-called-me-insane-when-i
To sum it up, whenever Bro makes a new smuppet design, he then gives it a video debut on his website, where uh, Lil Cal births the smuppet like it's a horror movie scene, fake blood and poly-fil gore all over the place as the smuppet crawls out from the viscera. Bro then gets to play aftercare by lovingly and gently cleaning up and restuffing Lil Cal as they get to admire their new creation and rake in the dough lol.
So it's technically not a 'you should see the other guy' kinda situation, but it does involve one of them being... idk what word would describe it. Injured by the other? Usually a character loses a fight and says this to act like they got out of it better than the other guy, but... We could have someone knock on the door during the filming of a scene like that, and Bro has to answer it with fake blood up to his elbows, and be like 'You should see the other guy.' (But obviously, that's a terrible idea and would cause more trouble than it's worth... Maybe worth it for a persistent door to door salesperson, though.)
Though, I guess I should also say, I'm not opposed to Bro beating on Lil Cal in or out of the bedroom. Or in the case of animate Lil Cal, Cal choking out Bro. In or out of the bedroom, lol. Depends on the situation, like I said I will ship this ship any which way. But my preference for animate Lil Cal is to be like a totally normal puppet around Bro (or mushy in-love with Bro) and then evil-murder-puppet towards anyone else in Bro's life, like a... toxic yaoi guard puppet. (New Phrase Achievement Unlocked!) Bro brings home another guy to have sex, who tries to stay the night due to the late hour, but the guy wakes up shortly after to see Lil Cal standing there with a knife in the dark, eyes glowing red. Panic ensues when the guest screams and freaks out, and by the time Bro's got a light on, grabbing his sword, ready for a ninja vs ninja fight (bc an intruder would've had to bypass all the traps), Lil Cal is just innocently splayed across the desk chair, no knife in sight. Relevant post (well, the caption on the post too, saying how Bro can't seem to hold onto any relationships besides Lil Cal):
[ https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/741830516962164736/i-want-you-so-youre-mine-always-selfishly ]
Uh, lol, also Cal choking out Bro in the bedroom, adult only drawing: https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/754328907438800896/i-wouldnt-wanna-be-my-ex-when-he-found-out-who
Thinking about them always and forever: Listen. My Tumblr as proof, I've had BroCal on the brain for at least 11 years at this point. Definitely longer, since I first started reading Homestuck. I fucking love puppets and dolls and plushies and I always have. Man, if I hadn't deleted Tweets (automated app I used to do, and I couldn't choose what to save) from when I was in high school, you could've seen me @ ing my fave band when they were taking lyric suggestions on a fan-inspired album, where I was telling them 'make a song where the theme is puppets' and, while I don't know if they saw that or took the suggestion (they had responded to me before bc they weren't huge yet), there is indeed a song titled "Puppets" on that album, and it was my favourite song on there. Point is, I was fated to ship BroCal before I even knew it existed.
Sicko 2 sicko communication: I mean, does this even need explaining? Bro and Cal aren't just on the same wavelength of freaky, they're the fucking source of the wavelength, and it's causing a feedback loop between them. And it does as feedback does, which is, it amplifies with time. (Going back to the spiral symbolism here, lol.) ((Actually, time can play a symbol here, too, I guess, but idk how to word it, I'm starting to run out of steam.))
Let them have a happy ending: God, I need this so badly. I know Bro's story ends in Homestuck, but like. Pls. Someone needs to officiate their wedding. Currently placing the dreambubble order, but I can't organize a wedding by myself. OH speaking of. In that lil comic I did above, where Bro is accepting Lil Cal's proposal, I had the Natural Born Killers wedding scene in mind. I was gonna draw that as a follow up, but I think I have too many WIPs going. Just two people on the run, saying "I do" in a scenic but completely ordinary roadside location. Idk why, I keep going back to that movie for things related to Bro (I mention it in a very important scene in a longer WIP I've been writing, as something Bro watched and internalized as a kid lol.) It's not the best movie lol. Anyway.
The devotion omg: I feel like I have already gotten my point across about this, but let me reiterate:
[ https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/735842968450269184/in-the-name-of-iconic-magical-girl-anime-ill ]
Bro and Lil Cal absolutely beat the shit outta Jack Noir before he gets prototyped. And even then, they fight together till the death, like. C'mon. Nothing more romantic than fighting a losing battle side by side. Also, like, Lil Cal having his own protective chest for safekeeping as seen in the Strider living room? Like, you don't just have a protective case for any old thing, especially something meant to be handled, especially something that is regularly used to smack other things/humans. What I'm saying is, Lil Cal is durable and resilient, and yet, Bro still has a case for transporting Cal safely. Oh, wait, I just thought of something funny, what if Lil Cal goes feral like a cat, and basically the chest is like a cat carrier so Bro can drive without being constricted lmaoooo, I've been typing for hours can you tell?
Kind of homophobic: Listen. I HAD a Cal. Took him to college. Staked my claim on the top bunk bc I am royalty. Proceeded to not have anywhere to set my water cup and had to use a cardboard box as a table up there. Spilled water. Melted Cal's sharpie-drawn face. And then proceeded to cry. I have a WIP of Lil Cal 2, but that requires actually remembering to work on him. I wanna do better by the pattern, too, since I rushed to finish the first. I have all the material! I have the project started! So it's just a matter of reordering my WIP priorities, honestly.
Where is all the fucking content?!: For realzz. I was actually venting about this the other day (didn't end up posting it), but it's like, either there's no BroCal content, or there IS BroCal content, but I can't reblog it for reasons I don't want to get into on this post. I'm dying of thirst in the ocean, basically. Whatever. This just means I need to make more BroCal content myself, which I am more than happy to do. I've just had a rough past few months, so I'm glad I got to type all this post out, and hopefully I can get back to creating soon.
Last one! I hope this one makes up for the absurd length of the post, it's prob my new fave idea I just came up with on the spot.
[TW drink spiking by a stranger mentioned in this.]
Committing atrocities as their silly little activities: I think we all know what this means, but I am going to ignore that elephant with my special x-ray vision. Because this is a BroCal post. I'm digging deep to the meat and bones of this. Honestly, this could go multiple routes, it depends on how you take your Lil Cal.
One could place emphasis on the 'guard' part of the, ahem ahem, toxic yaoi guard puppet. Maybe someone is actually trying to harm Bro, and Bro legit can't do anything for reasons outside of his control - let's say his drink got spiked a while after he invited a stranger home that he thought was chill. As Bro gets shoved down on the futon, his memory of the night is only a few flickers. Familiar orange plush, roiling around above him like a dancing windsock. Flashes of Lil Cal's face all distorted and stretched wide like a funhouse. J-Lo and Ice Cube on the TV. But when Bro is finally able to fully wake up in the morning, everything is as if he just got home alone last night and passed out on the futon. Cal looks totally normal and content tucked under Bro's warm arm. Except when Bro gets up, there is a pair of shoes too big to belong to him at the door. Maybe Bro knows. Maybe instinct tells him to run. Maybe he does, but he's running towards Lil Cal, every time.
#apologies for being entirely unhinged about brocal. this isnt even the half of it#the-meat-machine#asked#praying my internet posts this in one go in the correct format. rip to everyones dashboard if it doesnt#im not turning on my pc to correct it if i cant fix an upload error from mobile#homestuck#brocal#otp5eva#stridercest#long post#Cori.exe#Post.exe#im like staring at my phone scared to hit the post button bc if tumblr has a fit then idk what ill do#and its like okay i could just put my phone down and go to sleep.#but what if tumblr decides to post it AFTER IM ASLEEP AND CLOGS EVERYONE WHOS FOLLOWING ME'S DASH#if that readmore doesnt save where its supposed to... (has happened before)... i am genuinely so fucking sorry.#oh oKAY WAIT compromise. ill save it as a draft first so the bulk of the upload happens privately in case something goes wrong#bc knowing my internet and how i was fighting hyperlinks last night and today that still wont work. something is gonna go wrong#fingers crossed the draft saves tho i dont wanna copy all this shit from the 'in case of emergency' screenshots i took lol#anyway i really need to get ready for bed fuck lol literally took me hours to type this and its not even polished ughh#toxic yaoi guard puppet#omg tho 'lil cal top surgery' idea had me dying when i remembered theres canon cal sewn up like that#i gotta remember to post that separately tmr#i got this post draftes and gna post now. im seeby#oh wait#puppets#suggestive#striders#man if i wish i started w the last point but i dont have the energy to reorder everything#nini im going seep 4r this time
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One of my favourite parts of D&D is the complete self indulgence you can put into every character. My friend wanted to play a rebellious teenager raised by her cool older brother who she modelled herself after (ranger, hunter, big flirt.) and then I get to take that and make him a kind and casual unwilling leader figure and also a cult survivor who had to leave his sister to come back to save her later and ALSO an aroallo whore
#d&d#shark bait#mair saeth#ridigan saeth#i gotta draw him he's so fun#and also like. just how playing at the table you make so many decisions.#i was so scared to play this character#then my player starts acting like the bratty teenager she was the last time she saw him#and i remember that HE was ALSO a teenager and she probably GOT IT ALL FROM HIM#so then we just end up playing out a sibling dynamic where they're bitching and bullying each other one moment#then saying they love each other while trying to act cool like they dont care#and i LOVE THEM I LOVE MY PLAYERS SO MUCH#all the npcs they give me are such a treat#oh gifted child artificer who's hubris led her to invent the gun and go into hiding. i cant wait to play you.#like what a fucking TREAT for my player to say “here's this nerdy socially awkward lesbian my character is totally in love with#but never got to admit it and she thinks she killed her“ and i just get to DO WHAT I LIKE WITH HER FROM THERE HAKSJAJNDK#sorry i gotta stop making my tags longer than my posts hdfskfj
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when i said weird and awful fetishes i mean making grown men like little girls etc in the comics i’m a full supporter of charles getting tied up!
NO SEE THAT'S WHAT IM SAYINGGGG I AGREE youd think the list on greenlighted fetishes would be easy to understand However.
#snap chats#we gotta start bludgeoning people with hammers i fear#no cause what the fuck why did that shit happen so much they did that to everyone Chat We Gotta Start Killing People With Hammers#wait no not to immediately nerf that other post i said vbout spiderman catching W's in the ultimate universe#yall remember that story where wolverine and pete swapped bodies or somn. i end the post there#i repeat we gotta start slaughtering people with hammers
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recent drawings bc I love them
#my art#ahit swap au#Recently had an intense miitopia moment and did a whole second playthru#Both of these guys made the main team and so they are on my brain#Though really to be honest. I don't think these guys ever really left my brain#Absurd that it will be three years in a couple months#Three years since I started this blog and made these guys. What?#Time really stopped having any meaning at all in 2020. It hasn't been 4 years at all#I really gotta remember to post more of my random sketches on here more gahhh
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do you think Ganke’s sense of humor also shaped Miles’s own. because even at like 12 or 13 he was a sarcastic #jokester. and Miles seemed to be more of a “sometimes say depressing thing with happy tone” sort of sarcastic boy, but the more i read the more jokes he told (usually the ones not as spider-man) seemed more and more like stuff Ganke would definitely say. it isn’t a far fetched idea bc being friends with someone practically your whole life can do that irl, it’s just a thing that comes with being around people, but i’m just wondering to what degree Ganke’s influenced him compared to his parents and uncle lol
#miles morales#spiderman#spider man#ganke lee#ganke when speech patterns rub off on people: this is so amazing / ganke when miles starts using LoL terms: we gotta put a stop to this.#i dont actually remember what game ganke plays. it wasn’t league of legends it was something else#m&m posts
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I kinda wish buggy arc went similar to Mike wazowski from monster university
YES IT IS NOT A JOKE THIS MOVIE HAS A REALLY NICE MESSAGE FR
oh, like, you don’t need to look and act like a stereotypical perfect monster (scary, strong, etc) or follow the traditional path (a college degree) to achieve your dreams? please forgive me if i’ve misremembered, i think the last time i saw that movie was in theaters. sub in pirate for monster… yeah, i totally see what you mean.
and teen buggy is in a great position to go through that kind of arc, actually. like, if instead of giving up on his dreams, if he’d just been vulnerable for a minute, the conversation with shanks could’ve gone something like: hey, we each have our own strengths. i can’t accomplish my dreams alone, and neither can you… but if we work together we can do things that we couldn’t do individually!
now, it probably isn’t easy. there are probably setbacks. the marines probably ignore their insistence that they’re co-captains, co-emperors, co-pirate kings. but they both know how things really stand, and as it turns out, that’s good enough for buggy.
#tos answers#one piece#buggy#shanks#—abandoned dreams#as i was writing this post i started to get more of an usopp vibe off the concept… it’s the self-loathing self-promoter of it all#(boy i really gotta write me a buggy-usopp comparison post one of these days. there’s so much there.)#anyway then i remembered the big sanuso line. the ‘you’ll do what i can’t/i’ll do what you can’t’ one? and that is 100% this concept#by which i guess i mean somebody should write a monsters inc au for sanuso??
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here i always thought i was unlike papyrus in my general demeanor but now i'm learning i just needed 30mg of adderall
#more posting about this topic instead of secret skeleton sex i apologize but i gotta celebrate whatever wins i can get rn lol#got out of bed today thinking about and being EXCITED for all the chores i can do today. who am i#shit has me feeling downright cheery to start my day even if it's starting a bit later than i'd prefer its so awesome#my poor roommate gets to deal with me being very enthusiastically supportive of her getting through her finals today#actually yknow what i think even without the chores i'd be really happy rn bc the thing thats REALLY awesome about all this?#im not even tachycardic!!!!!!! my heart is being NORMAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#my adhd meds and my heart meds are working TOGETHER !!!! i can be energetic and excited and productive without needing huge breaks!!!!!!!!!#VERY annoying that this is only finally happening on the very last few days of finals and it's too late to fix anything school-wise BUT#i am too happy about feeling Well for once that i can't even get upset about that rn. i love not having to remember i'm disabled <3333#i am morphing into that funny skeleton that lives in my brain for today i think. if only i knew how to build puzzles and traps
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I wonder how many tags i can add on to this
#there must be SOME kind of a limit otherwise posts would get suuuuuuper duper long like is it just 30?#idk but i'm going to find out by simply maxxing out the character limit for each tag and finding out the limit of tags for each post lololo#this is gonna be great. i just have to remember to type without ever using the comma. it shouldn't be too hard right? fuck i almost typed#the comma i'm already bad at this smh my head. also if your still here i commend you. you have a better attention span than i do.#i'm already starting to get bored holy shit this is not happening. i gotta power through this. FOR SCIENCEEEEEEEEEE. or somethinggggggggggg#but fr idk what else to say. maybe just saying that i don't know what to say will be good enough? but does that even count?#I don't even know anymore. ffffffffuck. this is gonna be a while huh? also holy shit if you're still here omg u deserve like. a prize or#something because u definitely didn't have to stay and read all of this bull shit. lololol i typed out bs but decided to just spell the who#thing out just to make it go by faster. i'm so lazy. this is only the nineth tag HOW will i make it to 30. i am sobbing the adhd is adhding#very hard rn. are you still here? bruh this is insane. i have somehow managed to keep ur attention this long and it's just me spouting#absolute balderdash. wait do you know what balderdash even means? i don't care if you do already i'm gonna tell you anyway. balderdash is#basically just another word for nonsense. boom. you learned something new today. balderdash equals nonsense equals this damn post.#why did i decide to do this in the first place. it was a dumb idea. i don't know if i can even keep going. this is only the *counts tags*#it's the 14th tag. we've got a long way to go boys. men. soldiers. comrads. friends. besties peeps. marshmallows.#where was i going with this? oh yeah. trying to max out the limit for tags. dang i almost typed a comma there. i haven't done that since#i think the third or fourth tag. dang that feels like such a long time ago. not for you guys probably. it feels longer because i have to li#type it all out and stuff. so it's definitely gonna feel longer for me. are you still here? good lord don't you have better things to#be doing than reading all of this? we're already on tag number 18. it feels like i should be on the thirtyeth by now. or however it's spell#'toast' you might be wondering 'why are you typing out the names of the numbers instead of say '9' or '5'?' well you see. young one.#this is a strategy i'm using to make each tag slightly longer. even if i don't know how to spell it. it'll make it just a little bit longer#anyway. i got off topic. not that there was ever a topic to begin with. unless it's about making this as long as i can.#which i am apparently good at doing. i guess. are you STILL here? do you seriously have nothing to do? i guess i'm flattered you stayed thi#whole time. instead of reading something else you stayed here. with me. listening to me talk. on the twenty-third tag. oh yeah its tag 23#except now it's tag twenty-four. how crazy is that. this little talk is almost over. only 6 tags away if memory serves right. this's strang#i kind of don't want this to end. but i know it should. after all there is a limit. but all things must come to and end at some point i gue#i'm running out of things to say. it's probably a good thing it's almost over. hahahahah............... but i don't want to go. i don't wan#to leave this post. i've worked so hard on it. and for what. just for it to end. are you still here? yes? good. i'd hate to end this alone.#thank you for indulging me and my craziness. the end is only 2 tags away now. you can go ahead and leave. i'll be okay on my own. really...#...you're still here? i- i don't know what to say. i suppose a toast is in order. perhaps. for this journey. this stupid dumb post i though#would be fun. i'll make it short. it's the last tag after all. this was fun. but i will never do it again. so long as a i live. i'll miss y
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Honestly a lot of the time, it's not even about people having to agree with me, it's about needing to know that they actually heard and listened to what I had to say even if it didn't persuade them
Just... some basic indication that there's enough respect to give a shit about what I said, and also to make sure that they disagree because they actually disagree and not cause they just didn't bother listening
It's all I really ask
#I forgot what this was about part way through writing about it; but then I remembered it's about Ukraine#like I just need to know that you actually understand what's happening there and what people are going through#you want me to care about your thing? show me you have any any any grasp of what's going on in Ukraine#it's uh... it's too many friends where if I'm just honest... this is about them#people I adore but people where... I don't know if they ever even once listen to what I have to say#...though maybe it's better this way... at least if they just ignore me I can say they just don't understand what's going on#that they're just being fed lines by other people or don't care#...if... they... knew the shit Ukrainians go through and still didn't care... would be a lot harder to respect them#would take a certain level of callous to do that and... these are people I care about very much so#...but I don't know; eats at me... you know#...and even on less serious topics... boy I wish you'd ever listen to me#if it weren't for the fact you say you like me... I'd be pretty damn sure you can't fucking stand me and I do nothing but annoy you#...I don't know if you've... ever... listened to anything I've said on any subject#when you do; you usually correct me... even though; brilliant as you are... you're erm... not always right#I don't get it... I don't get you... every word I say seems to be wrong... I'm so stupid and you're so smart#and yet you get real upset when I want to die... so you must actually like me and our communication styles don't match up#thank god you never seem to read my tags... or... much of anything else I say#truthfully I'd follow you anywhere; and you can treat me any way you want#but man I don't think my thoughts or opinions matter to you even a little... I think I just exist to be your rubber duck#...that's how it feels anyway#but all that aside... just wish you'd listen to me on Ukraine cause it actually matters#this post started out about some other people too... and sure... I like them well enough; and they're maddeningly wrong#like sputnik levels or wrong#drives me nuts; like you're not stupid and you're not cruel so why do you act so stupid and cruel?... turn you brain on#but uh... I actually just don't care about them that much#where as you... I could put it into words... but I won't#it's just a shame... like forget any of the stuff about me; it's just you're so kind... wish you'd care about what's going on in Ukraine#...I gotta stop or I'll go on all night; and I'm already too tired#mm tag so i can find things later
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#when you don't belong anywhere because people tell you that you don't deserve to belong anywhere so if you're going to be#isolated from the rest of humanity forever because there's Something Wrong With You then maybe you can at least be the one#in charge of that isolation. people can't reject you if you actively REFUSE to belong anywhere right. you can't be denied community if#you actively avoid it. yeah sure making yourself into a husk of a person so that you don't have to think about belonging anywhere makes you#miserable and self-hating but you know what at least it's manageable this time at least it's coming from stuff YOU do and not from#other people deciding you're not worth it. sure you WANT community you WANT to belong somewhere but that's impossible and not happening#and you gotta learn to work around it just like you do with everything else we can't always get what we want and you need to be#prepared to face that. yeah that requires lying to yourself and making yourself inscrutable and all these other things you don't actually#like doing but this is the price you pay for other people not hurting you anymore. for not having to confront the fact that you're innately#unlikable and un-want-able and meaningless and alien and disgusting and all the other things you've never been able to de-internalize.#you can't start thinking it's not worth it because remember what it was like being rejected by everything all the time? you're not going to#survive that again. all the options suck and you still need to make your choice. good luck :) :) :)#I think. perhaps. after I post the event ficlets. I go on full blog hiatus again. I can't.#I can't be around the discussions that keep happening on this website. and they're so prevalent that no amount of muting/blocking/filtering#can ever be enough to totally avoid them.#In the Vents
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So damn funny to me how the dc comics' Taurudonna is completely inversed to the show
Show!Adam: my darling, I only ever wanted you by my side as we watch the world burn together
Show!Blake: we live here, you idiot
Meanwhile...
Comic!Blake: I'm not afraid of you (romantic)
Comic!Adam: cool. Didn't ask
#rwde#i drafted this way back when i first started reading the 2019 comics#dont remember why i didn't post it. think smth really big and serious was going on and i didnt want to drop a joke during it#but anyway these two can apparently never sync lmao#always gotta be cartoonishly one sided#probs bc no one can really imagine these two in a relationship. what even would their day to day look like?#i doubt theres flowers and chocolates#does adam even know how to read? if he doesnt would blake read out loud to him?#ngl the Adam in my head is basically a hybrid of vergil from devil may cry and fenris from dragon age 2#ex slaves w cool exteriors righteous anger body tattoos and great hair#also amazing voices. i could listen to v and fenris all damn day#making adam a poet at heart or smth is basically the only way i can make taurudonna make sense#otherwise theyre gonna talk abt nothing but training and missions and shit bc thats all that every medium has to show
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me when i'm stressing about the king's landing arc not being as tightly plotted as the vale arc: *barely able to scrape by with 1000 words a day*
me when i go fuck it we ball i write what i want: *suddenly doubling the day's word count*
#i gotta remember that the first 45K or so of the vale arc was basically jon+rhaegar bonding#and there are so many people to meet in kl while still bonding with daemon#there are many more moving pieces so fitting those with big emotional moments and even quiet cozy moments can be tough#and then i get stressed about the chapters getting long#and worry that people will find the pace excruciating#there's a weird thing that happens when you start posting fic you started writing for yourself#when it stops becoming for you#and that's when it's most dangerous / writer's block is most likely to strike#“what if people hate that i'm spending an entire chapter on feel-good moments?”#“what if people hate that i've spent 6-7 chapters covering 4 days?”#when the reality is that the pace slows when there's a lot happening (meeting people relationships setting up plotlines etc)#and it speeds up when things settle for a bit#at the end of the day i gotta write this for me#and just hope everyone enjoys the journey with me
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Lowkey having a meltdown am I the only person left who uses the term tossle cap
#going through the notes on that 'what are these things called' post has me questioning whether or not i made this term up and dont remember#i gotta start asking customers what they call those hats
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I love it whenever you draw yellow guy and duck being silly’s together theyre so funny
THANK YOU ITS MY FAVORITE THING TO DRAAAWW!!! I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!!! THEYRE MY FAVE DUO EVER!!!
#not joking when i start a doodle page if i dont force myself to remember i just wont draw red guy#i had the idea recently of the three of them on vacation and i had so many ideas bouncing around my head of just the two of them#that i did two full pages until i was like OH RIGHT red guy exists#THEYRE JUST SO AUTOMATIC TO ME!!! any situation ive got them down pat !! give me any situation i can put those two in it easily in my head#red guy ive gotta think a little bit... be like okay what would he do uhhhh.....#my dhmis postings
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Fuck it. Various clone shenanigannery, or whatever the hell you’d call this
#I gotta start remembering to be less apologetic about what I post#jus sum doodly doos#pizza tower#would you believe me if I said I had a sideblog just for clones#their lack of explanation fascinates me#people who clonepost more than me: what’s the most common tags used for this I dunno how to tag them#translations for backwards text are as follows:#second pic:#‘absurdity aside it’s got a compelling story’#‘did I fucking stutter’#third pic:#‘that’s not jealousy that’s fear’#‘we’re literally products of his obsession nothing good comes from him liking you’
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