#Both of these guys made the main team and so they are on my brain | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

xomakara · 9 months ago

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Roomies With Benefits

(re-posting from my old account seulrinnie-rinrin/xomakara-secondary)

SUMMARY | You have no choice but to be roommates with San when there is a glitch in the leasing office’s system. The more time that you live together, the more that you both can’t help but want each other. PAIRING | San x Reader GENRE | non-idol!San, College AU, Roommate trope, fake dating trope, smut with some plot, protected sex (wrap it up everyone!), vaginal sex, oral sex, fingering RATING | Mature, 18+, NSFW, MDNI LENGTH | 7,380 words TAGLIST | -- NETWORKS | AUTHOR’S NOTE | I would not mind living with San (or any of the other members) if there was a glitch in the system. LOL. Hope you all enjoy, reblog, like, comment~ Love you all ❤️

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"There has to be misunderstanding," You looked at the management team of your apartment complex. "There's no way that you could lease the unit to two people who signed two different leases at different times. Please tell me I'm not crazy."

"My system shows that both you and Mr Choi are on the lease..." The manager searched for something on his tablet. "I will double check with my secretary to confirm if everything is correct. We should have an answer by tomorrow afternoon. Until then, can you and Mr Choi share the unit?"

You shook your head. There was no way that you'd share the apartment with Choi San, the most popular guy on campus and your arch rival since freshman year. Okay, sure he was stupidly, insanely hot with a sexy brain to boot but he wasn't someone you would ever let into your personal space, much less share the same living space.

There was also the small fact that he was one of the most eligible bachelors at school and always getting girls all over him. He had dated many of them before they got tired of playing second fiddle to his social life or wanted to get closer to his family money. You had seen him flirting with women during lunch, talking to his other stupidly, insanely hot friends about how he couldn't wait to bang yet another girl later that night. Every time he turned around, some new girl was ogling at him and that infuriated you.

Not that you hadn't had your fair share of guys sliding into your DMs just because they were interested in you, trying to impress you with expensive gifts or showing up on campus with roses, candy and other 'cute' things just to see you smile and notice them. Sure you were the Queen Bee on campus, even with barely any effort on your part, but that didn't mean you needed everyone else telling you how pretty and desirable you were, did it?

No. You were perfectly fine being single, thank you very much.

But it seemed like this misunderstanding would force you to spend more time together. How terrible.

"Let's just share the apartment for one night." San spoke up, the manager giving him a small nod. "Tomorrow, we expect answers."

You walked out of the management office, a scowl on your face as you waited for the elevator. San was by your side, tapping his foot impatiently while keeping an eye on your reactions. You were tired and just didn't feel like arguing with him right now.

"Let's just get to the apartment and figure something out." San muttered next to you. "It's probably not a big deal."

You sighed. "If only it were that simple." You tried to find the quickest route to the apartment unit so you could get away from him.

The last thing you needed right now was to come across San and a lot of sexual tension going through the roof, only making you more irritable than you already were. You hated how badly you wanted him, hated yourself for reacting the way you did whenever he was near you. It was disgusting, embarrassing and it made you want to punch the wall.

Shit. This was bad. Really bad.

San noticed the look on your face. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." You said as you approached the front door and opened it. You looked at the boxes that littered the living room area, both yours and his mingled together in a weird mixture of feminine and masculine decor.

He sighed and followed you inside. "Are you sure you're okay? Everything seems fine to me. What's the problem?"

"We need to share this apartment tonight." You stated matter-of-factly. "That means I'll be sleeping here with you. By tomorrow, the whole campus is going to talk about how the Queen Bee and Alpha Male hooked up. No way can that happen. My reputation is on the line."

"And what do you care about your reputation?" He asked, walking towards you. You backed up against the door, causing him to stop.

"You know I care about my image." You snapped back. "Besides, I've worked too hard to maintain my social status for me to lose it because of a mistake."

His eyes narrowed as he took in your features. His nostrils flared slightly, his gaze darkening with every passing second. You knew what he was doing and you wished you could say something, stop him from approaching you and taking you against the door like a predator chasing down its prey.

Your heartbeat accelerated and your body started to react in ways you never expected, long buried desires resurfacing once again, feelings stirring deep within your heart.

If he touched you right now, you wouldn't fight him. You'd let him take you and fuck you into oblivion until neither of you could walk. All you cared about was his lips on your neck, his hands running along your hips and thighs, your fingers entwined with his. You'd be content to go slow and explore your bodies for hours, waiting for the moment when he finally plunged into you, thrusting hard and fast until you couldn't take anymore.

Instead, you were stuck with San, who was staring at you with his hot brown eyes, and even though he didn't touch you, the longing in his stare burned hotter than the fire raging behind his irises. You were powerless to do anything but stand there, watching him silently and hoping that he would finally make his move.

But he didn't. He turned away and gestured to the door of the bedroom. "Take the room. I'll sleep on the couch tonight. Hopefully, tomorrow we can find out why there was a mix-up and we won't have to worry about this shit anymore."

"Are you sure you don't mind?" You asked hesitantly. He glanced at you, the corner of his mouth twitching slightly as he stared at you intently.

"Yeah, take it." San nodded. "Despite all the things you hear about me on campus, I don't go around sleeping with women without their consent. Even you, Queen Bee. I respect that. Just take the room."

"Thank you." You breathed softly, thankful for his generosity and maturity. With a slight sigh, you walked towards the bedroom and closed the door behind you. You locked it and crawled onto the bed, pulling the blanket over your body and laying there for a few seconds before turning off the lights.

You lay on the bed for a few minutes, wondering what had gotten into San. Why did he suddenly act so mature? And was it really possible that you weren't imagining things earlier? Did he actually desire you as well?

It felt like a heavy weight was lifted off your shoulders. Yes, maybe it was a mix-up and the leasing office really did mess up your contracts. Maybe, just maybe, everything would work out just fine.

With those thoughts filling your mind, you fell asleep quickly.

You woke up slowly, disoriented from the light pouring into the room. Your heart raced as your eyes adjusted to the sunlight. Slowly opening your eyes, you blinked several times, your eyes adjusting to the unfamiliar ceiling above you.

Getting up and unlocking the door to the bedroom to make your way to the kitchen, you looked at San's figure as he snoozed away on the couch. The covers were pulled up to his chin and his shirt was partially undone, exposing a sliver of chestnut skin.

For a moment, you just stood there and watched him sleep, the excitement from yesterday still lingering on your skin.

You started up the coffee machine, brewed a fresh pot and made your way to one of the boxes in the living one that had your clothes packed in. Careful to not wake San up, you closed the bathroom door behind you and locked it so that you could shower in peace.

After taking a quick shower, you dried yourself off and put on your clothes. You made your way back to the kitchen and poured yourself a cup of coffee, adding a spoonful of sugar to sweeten it a little. As you sipped on the delicious black liquid, you leaned against the counter and browsed on your phone. A minute passed before you heard the sound of footsteps on the wooden floor, followed by a yawn.

"Good morning." San said with a soft smile as you poured him a cup of coffee and slid it towards him.

"Morning." You replied. "After you get ready for the day, let's go down to the leasing office and see what they say."

"Sure." He said as he gulped down half his coffee, eyes trained on your form as you took another sip. You knew exactly what was going through his head and you didn't think he was going to be able to hide it from you anytime soon. The expression on his face was clear evidence that he liked what he saw.

About half an hour later, you and San both made your way to the leasing office. Walking past the crowds of students that congregated outside the main building, you arrived at the office and entered the queue. After a short wait, you finally reached the front desk and signed your name on the sign-in sheet.

"I'm sorry for the inconvenience." The manager apologized again as he looked at you and San. "Unfortunately, there was a glitch in the system and I'm afraid that our records show that we mistakenly assigned you the same unit."

"There's no other units that are available? Not even in a different location?" San inquired, a frown etched across his brow.

"There's nothing left." The manager shook his head. "All the other units have already been filled by other students that are no longer living in the dorms, sorority or frat houses."

"When is the next available unit?" You asked, putting on your best poker face. "How long will it take for us to get one?"

The manager paused for a moment, seemingly torn between wanting to tell you that there wasn't another unit available and being worried about offending you by saying so. "I'm so very sorry but there won't be any available units until the next school year. You may have to find someplace else to live if you cannot accept that."

"That won't be necessary." San interrupted. "I'm sure Miss Y/N and I will figure something out."

"That's good." The manager gave you a sympathetic smile before looking back at San. "Well, if you need anything at all, please let me know. If you need help finding a new place, I'm happy to assist."

San nodded and gave the man a polite smile before turning towards you. "We should go. Let's head back to the apartment."

You followed him back to the elevator, ignoring all the curious glances that the both of you attracted. Some people didn't know why you two were sharing an apartment, others were just trying to catch a glimpse of San and you, others were already forming their opinions and thoughts of the two hottest people on campus and if they were really dating. Either way, everyone wanted to know the answers to these questions.

By the time you got to the apartment unit, the sun had almost set and nightfall was upon you. Both of you dumped your bags inside the apartment and decided to sit down on the couch.

"So..." San said, breaking the silence. "I guess we're going to spend our last year of university in the same unit..."

You nodded. "Yep."

"Let's try to work something out. Why don't you continue to stay in the bedroom and I'll stay on the couch for the time being?"

"I can't let you sleep on the couch forever, San." You protested.

"Then just let me stay in the bedroom until we find another solution." He suggested. "Unless you don't want to share the bed with me either?"

"I-I'm fine with sharing." You stammered out, avoiding eye contact with him. There was a nervous twitch dancing on the end of your lips as you felt your cheeks grow warm with embarrassment.

"What are you thinking about, Y/N?" San asked, bringing your attention back to him. His eyes flickered from side to side, peeking at your lips before landing on your eyes.

"Oh...nothing." You mumbled, averting your gaze. "I can already hear the rumours..."

"Then why don't we just date?" San suggested. "At least to the public. No one will bat an eye if we said that we moved in together because after being a couple for a few months. But in private, we'll just be two roommates. Nothing more."

"Maybe...maybe we should do that." You murmured softly. Your cheeks grew redder and your voice was barely audible. You could feel your heart pounding loudly in your chest as your pulse raced in anticipation of what San would say next.

"I promise I won't touch you unless you ask me to." San said softly. "And I won't demand anything sexual from you."

You swallowed heavily, biting your lip as you met San's intense gaze. "You...you're sure?"

"Of course I am." He said firmly. "I don't want to pressure you into doing anything that you aren't comfortable with. So I'll leave it up to you."

Tilting your head to the side, you tried to decide how to respond. If this was truly the only option you had, then perhaps dating San would work out. “Okay, fine.” You sighed, giving in. “We’ll try it. But if I ever start feeling uncomfortable or I don’t want to date you anymore, you better not hold it against me.”

"Deal, now why don't we start unpacking?" San suggested, standing up and walking towards the bedroom. "This is going to be our home for the next year. Let's make it a nice home, okay?"

He was right. This would be your home for the next year and you should make the most of it. Putting aside your worries for the moment, you grabbed your bag and followed San into the bedroom. Once you had unpacked your stuff, you sat down on the edge of the bed while San sorted out the rest of his belongings. You both then moved to the living room and settled on opposite sides of the couch.

"I can already see the look on your friends' faces when we tell them that we're 'dating'. They probably think that we're crazy and that we're playing games. They'll see right through us." You remarked.

"Then should we practice on making it look real?" San asked. "Or is that asking too much?"

“I don’t think I have it in me.” You shrugged. “But if it makes you feel better…”

With a smile plastered across his face, San leaned forward and kissed you on the lips. It wasn’t overly romantic and it was brief, but it showed enough of his intentions to get you to agree to his plan. You hadn’t expected that kissing him would make you feel tingly inside, but your stomach fluttered as he pressed his lips to yours. You could taste the remnants of coffee on his tongue and you couldn’t help but pull him closer to you, deepening the kiss. Before you knew it, you found yourself pinned to the sofa by San, unable to move or resist his grip.

"Y/N..." San whispered hoarsely. "Do you want to stop this or...?"

"I...don't know..." You confessed, not wanting to lie. "We can keep kissing...but nothing else tonight."

He looked into your eyes, a brief smile gracing his beautiful lips. "Okay, I could deal with only kissing." He paused for a moment, letting you adjust to the idea. "Though...if you change your mind, just give me a sign and I'll stop immediately."

Relieved, you smiled softly at San before nodding slightly. "Yeah, I'll let you know."

"Okay, then I'm going to kiss you some more." San purred, leaning in once again. "If you tell me to stop, I will."

His lips descended slowly over yours, igniting your body with passion. He tasted like coffee and mint toothpaste and he smelled amazing. His hands explored your waistline, slipping under the material of your shirt. All you wanted was to feel San’s skin against yours. To feel every inch of his muscular frame pressed against you. To inhale the scent of his cologne and bask in the warmth radiating off his body. With those thoughts in mind, you leaned forward and ran your fingers through his hair, pulling him tighter against you.

Your kisses became deeper, your breathing erratic as you moaned louder than you intended. Your hips arched upwards, pressing against San's crotch. A small groan escaped his throat as you began kissing him harder, your breath hot and ragged against his ear.

You weren't aware that your fingernails dug into his scalp as you felt him push against you, trying to make you moan louder. "Y/N..." San moaned as you bit down on his earlobe, sending chills down your spine. "We should stop...while we can."

You lifted your head, panting heavily as you gazed at San. "Yeah, yeah we should stop." You agreed, trying to steady your heartbeat.

Damn, living with San was going to be interesting.

That night you laid in bed under the covers as you turned your head to watch San snoozed next to you on top of the covers. You stared at his sleeping form for several minutes before realizing that you were staring at him. You smiled softly as you layed back down, curling up beside him. After a few moments, San opened his eyes and gazed at you.

"Are you awake?" He asked quietly.

"Mmhmm, yes I am." You responded softly. "Hard to sleep with someone lying next to you isn't it?"

San rolled onto his side and propped himself up on his elbow. "It certainly can be." He murmured. "But I've been doing it for so long that I just kind of accepted it."

"I guess I haven't gotten used to having someone next to me yet." You commented with a small chuckle.

"The Queen Bee is not used to having someone next to her?" San teased. "How strange."

Shaking your head, you smiled. "No, not at all. I know I get plenty of male attention being the Queen Bee on campus but I just turn everyone down. I guess it's because I prefer spending my time alone. Besides, the guys who are attracted to me are creeps anyway."

"I'm attracted to you." San chuckled. "Does that make me a creep?"

"There's no way you're attracted to me, Choi San." You replied, shaking your head again. "I'm not exactly your type."

"Who says you're not my type?" He countered. "All the other girls that try to get into my pants? You don't think I notice you?"

You sighed, rolling your eyes at San's persistence. He was determined to prove his point, despite the fact that you still disagreed with him. "Look, I'm flattered that you think I'm attractive but-"

"No, Y/N." San interrupted. "Just hear me out. You're beautiful, smart and funny. Plus, you don't put up with any crap from anyone. Do you know how rare that is?"

For the first time since San spoke, you stopped to think about his words. "Am I really that special?" You asked.

"You're pretty damn special, actually." San admitted. "I don't know why you don't think you're attractive if half the student body and myself fall at your feet."

Laughing lightly, you shook your head. "I think I'd rather spend my time alone than get wrapped up in relationships." You decided. "Besides, I'm not interested in hook ups."

"You didn't say that when we kissed earlier." San pointed out.

"I-it was different!" You protested. "A kiss doesn't mean I want to have sex with you!"

San smirked. "Why did you kiss me then? Just to test the waters?"

Blushing bright red, you ducked your head low as San reached out and gently stroked your cheek. "Not necessarily..." You muttered, glancing away.

"Don't be embarrassed by what happened earlier." San said, placing a finger underneath your chin and lifting your head. "I liked kissing you and I know you like kissing me too. If you don't want to do anything else tonight, then that's fine with me. But you need to at least admit that there's something between us."

Your heart pounded loudly in your ears as you fought back the desire to lean forward and kiss him. "So what do you suggest we do instead?" You asked.

"Well..." San trailed off. "There is one thing I've always wanted to do with you."

"Oh?" You asked.

"Mmhm." San nodded. "I was hoping that maybe you'd let me kiss you again."

A grin tugged at the corner of your mouth as you watched San's face light up. "I'm not opposed to another kiss." You admitted. "But..."

"But?" San prompted.

"I was thinking..." You trailed off, trying to find the right words. "Maybe we could just go slow and enjoy each other's company."

San regarded you for a moment before nodding. "Alright, I can do that." He said. "Tonight's the first night we live together so it'll be the perfect opportunity for us to get to know each other. We can take things easy and see where they lead us."

You placed a hand on San's cheek, tracing his soft features with your thumb. "I like the sound of that." You told him. "Now you can kiss me."

For the remainder of the night, you were lost in his kisses.

It had been several weeks since you and San started living together as roommates. In the comfort of your own home, the both of you led your private lives away from the prying eyes of others. Nowadays, the both of you would talk for hours on end about your day or complain about the latest episode of your favourite drama. You never thought that being able to converse with someone was such a relief, especially after a stressful week at work or class.

When the both of you were out in public together, you both played your parts as a couple convincingly. You'd hold hands with San, kiss him, blush when his hand slid lower than where it needed to be and even grab onto his arm whenever the conversation turned serious. Even San's friends were convinced that the both of you were dating and no one batted an eye when you came out of the bathroom in the middle of the party to hug San, accidentally brushing your breast against his arm or when he would wrap an arm around your waist to pull you close to him and kiss your forehead.

Friends would ask about your sex life but you clearly didn't have one. At least not yet. You were content spending the night in bed telling each other stories or just cuddling while watching television. Exchanging kisses every now and then but making sure to limit yourselves to making out and no further. It wasn't that you didn't want to have sex with San, it was just that you weren't ready for a relationship at this point in your life. Not to mention that you didn't want to rush into anything. If you took your time getting to know San better, it would make everything less awkward when the time finally came.

And then San's friend Wooyoung wanted to throw a small get-together at the apartment.

"Why does everyone want to throw a party here?" You complained as you walked into the kitchen. "Can't anyone take care of their own parties?"

"Scared that everyone will find out?" San teased you.

"How will they find out when our apartment has both of our stuff scattered everywhere?" You mumbled. "Our apartment literally looks like a couple. If anyone steps into the bedroom, I will murder someone."

San chuckled as he stood beside you, handing you a cup of tea. "I know you'd rather be curled up on the couch with a book but let's try to keep appearances up tonight. Okay?"

You sighed, taking the offered cup. "Fine."

Wooyoung had invited all of his friends and a few girls from the campus. Although you didn't want to mingle with the others, you did it for San's sake. But as the night progressed, you became increasingly bored. Most of the guys in attendance were there to ogle over the attractive women but San stuck close to you the entire time. The girls, on the other hand, kept flirting and vying for San's attention but he refused them all politely.

He only had eyes for you.

Sighing, you excused yourself from the room to use the restroom. After finishing your business, you left the restroon and tried looking for a seat but noticed that they were all taken. Everyone was drinking, eating, and conversing with each other. When San saw you standing there, he gestured you over to him, only to pull you into his lap.

"San!" You whispered, his hands resting on your hips.

"Shh...it's time to play house." San murmured huskily into your ear. "Need to keep up the charade."

You blushed deeply, glancing around at the amused stares of his friends. For the sake of San, you accepted his invitation to stay seated on his lap. At first, it seemed innocent enough, but soon you could feel San running a hand up and down your back, his soft fingers caressing your bare thigh. The tips of his fingers slowly inched higher until they brushed against the bottom of your skirt.

"San..." You whispered again, surprised by his sudden boldness.

"Can I kiss you, Y/N?" He breathed into your ear. "Please? I really want to kiss you right now."

Your breath hitched in your throat, knowing full well what he meant. Not that you were opposed to kissing San, you enjoyed the feel of his lips pressed against yours whenever you got the chance. But he'd never made a move on you like this before in public. Sure, you'd gotten hugs and a quick peck on the cheek from him for appearances sake but none of those kisses made your heart race like this.

"What do you think?" San whispered, pulling back from your ear long enough to meet your gaze.

"In front of everyone?" You questioned quietly.

"Baby, we need to give them a show so they can get up and leave the apartment." He reasoned. "Besides, I've been thinking about kissing you this whole day. And you looked so sexy today, dressed in that short skirt and that tight, sexy top. So yes, in front of everyone is exactly where I want to be kissing you."

With a soft sigh, you reluctantly nodded. "Alright, let's give them something to watch."

Slowly, San pulled you closer, placing his free hand on the nape of your neck, gently holding your head still. Then, with his mouth just inches away from yours, San whispered, "Kiss me, Y/N."

You closed your eyes and lowered your head, offering your lips to San without hesitation. In return, San captured your lips in a gentle kiss that melted your insides and made you gasp. Your mouths remained connected, devouring each other with lustful desire. There was no hesitation, no inhibitions; it was purely a display of raw lust and intense passion.

The way he held you, tenderly caressing your back, sending goosebumps all over your body and the pressure of his lips against yours sent shivers down your spine. All you wanted to do was to run your fingers through his messy, black hair and slip your arms around his neck, begging him to touch you wherever he pleased.

As if reading your mind, San broke the kiss, grinning as he rested his forehead against yours. "Well, are you satisfied?"

Hearing San speak like that caused your cheeks to burn red. "You could say that." You replied, a little breathless.

"Good." San grinned, lightly running his fingers down your side.

You heard a cough and you both looked up to see Wooyoung staring at the two of you with a smug grin on his face. "Sooooo, is this the cue for us to end the party and go home so that ya'll can fuck each other senseless? Because that's what I'm hearing."

San chuckled lightly as he rose to his feet, pulling you along with him. "Yep, I guess that is what we're doing. Time to shut the party down. Y/N is feeling tired."

"Tired, my ass." Wooyoung sneered, eyeing the two of you with amusement. "You guys are just horny. Look how the two of you can't keep your hands off of each other."

"Once you get a taste of pussy, you can't get enough of it." San commented and you couldn't help but bury your head in his shoulder out of sheer embarrassment. You looked up at San and he grinned down at you.

"Alright, folks. Party is over." You announced. "Go home so that I can have my boyfriend all to myself. Bye!"

You smiled brightly as you waved goodbye to everyone. Soon, the apartment was empty except for the two of you and it felt nice to finally be alone with San again. As soon as you sat on the couch, San's hands grabbed onto your thighs and pulled you closer to him.

"You don't have to pretend anymore, baby." San whispered in your ear, making your heart flutter uncontrollably. "All of these people aren't here to judge you. We can enjoy ourselves in our own little world."

He stroked your leg softly, trailing his fingers down the edge of your skirt.

"It feels good to not have to act like we have a charade going on." You murmured, smiling up at San.

"Why don't we make this charade real then?" San gave you a mischievous smile, unbuttoning your tight shirt and letting it fall to the floor. "Why don't we live in reality instead of this fantasy that we're putting on for everyone else?"

"San...what are you-"

But before you could finish your sentence, San reached up and cupped your face with his hands, giving you a deep, passionate kiss that left you breathless. Once he released your lips, you stared up at him with wide eyes. "Baby, I don't want to just kiss anymore. It's so hard for me to control myself around you. I want to throw you over the couch, tear your clothes off and fuck you until neither of us can move anymore."

"I know you want it too, Y/N. It shows in the way you look at me sometimes." San admitted, leaning down to give you another gentle kiss. "When you kiss me sometimes. When you wear these sexy clothes and don't think I'm not paying attention to you. I pay attention, I pay so much attention that I want to rip your clothes off and fuck you until you're screaming my name. I want you, baby. More than I ever thought possible. I want to lose myself in you. Take you any which way I please. Make you scream my name so loud that everyone within earshot knows who you belong to."

Fuck, you wanted this man. So bad that you ached in places that you never knew existed. Your body hummed with pleasure as you moaned against San's lips. "And why hold it in?" You whimpered, raising your hand to trace the outline of San's jawline.

"Because you're a queen that deserves to be treated like one." San growled, slowly slipping his tongue into your open mouth. "And if my queen wanted to wait and take things slow, then I would respect her wishes. I would wait until she wants me inside of her, filling her with the sweet warmth of my love."

You gasped as his warm tongue slid over yours. His kiss was different from the ones you shared in the past. Now, it wasn't as if you two were strangers; there was an unspoken connection between you two that grew deeper with every passing second. "And now?"

"I want you, Y/N. I want you more than anything in this world." San rasped. "Tonight, I want you in ways that I haven't even imagined before. You've made me realize that there are a lot of things I've never experienced in life, and now that I have you, I plan on experiencing everything."

Your heart swelled in your chest as you gazed at San with longing. You leaned forward, pressing your lips against San's once again, wanting nothing more than to be in his embrace forever.

This. Was. It.

"I want you too." You mumbled against his lips. "Every part of you, San."

A single hand ran through your hair, tugging gently while the other caressed your cheekbone. Your hands grasped the sides of his shirt, gently pulling it upward until it fell to the floor with a thud.

"Oh God, baby." San moaned as you kissed your way down his neck, leaving a trail of fire-like kisses along his collar bone. When you finally stopped teasing him, you placed your palms against his muscular stomach and ran them downward until you reached the waistband of his jeans. Slowly, you unzipped his pants, revealing his hard length for the very first time.

"San...you're so beautiful." You breathed, caressing his shaft with trembling fingers. "I've always loved the way you smell, but seeing you with your pants undone, sporting a cock so big and thick in front of me has made me a complete mess."

He groaned as you took his dick into your hand, admiring the thickness and length of it. It was perfectly shaped and there was a huge vein pulsating down its center, stretching out towards the tip of his erection. His dick was so perfect, so breathtaking, that you had a difficult time keeping yourself from taking him into your mouth and sucking on it.

Instead, you cupped his balls in one hand and began massaging them with the other, causing him to groan even louder.

"Are you trying to drive me crazy?" He asked in between pants.

"Is it working?" You teased.

"Yes..." He muttered through clenched teeth. "More, baby. Please, give me more."

His words fueled your already raging desire for him. You squeezed his balls harder, eliciting a low moan from him. You dropped to your knees and started to pull his underwear down until they pooled at his ankles. San threw his head back, moaning louder as your mouth descended upon his cock, tasting the salty essence of pre-cum as you engulfed the entirety of him in your mouth.

"You're such a good girl." San moaned, running his hands through your hair as you pleasured him. "So eager to please. So eager to swallow my cum, just like you swallowed all of me. That's it, Y/N. Suck it like you mean it. Suck it like you fucking love it."

Breathing heavily, you licked the head of his dick, humming as you continued to suck on him. The taste of him was intoxicating, addicting, almost like drinking your favorite cocktail. Each time you slid your mouth further down, taking him deeper into your throat, you felt yourself getting lost in his intoxicating scent.

Soon, you found yourself drooling over the sight of his dick sliding between your lips. And as you looked up at him with hooded eyes, you noticed the way he looked at you. Like you were his entire universe. Like you were meant to be his.

"Please..." San whispered, his voice barely above a whisper. "Take it all."

You hummed against him, continuing to stroke him in a circular motion with your hand as you kept up with your ministrations with your mouth. You could feel him getting close to climax, so you slowed down, taking his dick out of your mouth. "Cum for me, San. Coat my throat with your cum."

You wanted him to cum so badly. You wanted him to fill your mouth with his semen so that you could drink it down greedily. "Let it flow, San. Let it all flow down my throat."

A few seconds later, you heard San release a strangled gasp. A second after that, he flooded your mouth with his cum, shooting stream after stream down your throat.

It didn't matter if you weren't prepared for it. All that mattered was that San came, and that he did it because of you.

As he pumped out the last of his semen into your mouth, you felt the vibrations in his dick as he became still. A moment later, you took the head of his dick into your mouth, sucking the remaining cum off of him. Then, you raised your head and looked up at San, panting slightly as he tried to catch his breath.

"Did I do good?" You asked, tilting your head to the side as you watched him carefully.

"You blew me away, baby." San chuckled, reaching out to touch your cheek. "And now I really want to fuck you."

"Mmm, okay." You nodded. "That sounds like a great idea."

With a wicked grin, San wrapped his arms around your waist and picked you up off the ground, carrying you over to the bedroom. Once he laid you down on the bed, he climbed atop you, kissing your forehead, his hands pulling off the last of your clothes. After that, his lips followed their path southward, lingering against your skin as his mouth moved down to tease your breasts.

Once his lips latched onto your nipples, he began sucking gently on them, occasionally releasing them to circle around them with his tongue. At the same time, his fingers began circling around your core, his thumb dipping between your folds and pushing into you with soft, tender strokes.

"Ahh..." You cried out as your entire body began to tingle. "S-San!"

"Tell me what you want, Y/N." San murmured against your breast. "Tell me how you want me to fuck you."

Gathering all of your courage, you pulled his face upwards and locked eyes with him. "Do whatever you want with me, San. Do whatever you need to do to get you off. Fuck me however you want. But please...fuck me hard."

At the sound of your begging, San laughed softly and said, "Well, when you put it that way...you make it very difficult to refuse."

Grabbing a condom out of the nightstand drawer, he ripped it open with his teeth, using his other hand to roll it down his throbbing member. Soon enough, he positioned himself between your legs and settled himself on top of you, sinking into your wet heat with one thrust.

It was the best feeling you'd ever experienced. Being completely filled by this man. This man who you desperately wanted to claim as your own.

San grabbed your wrists, pinning them over your head as he started to pump his hips, slowly. "God, you feel amazing." He grunted. "You're so tight around me. So hot. So fucking hot. I can't believe that I'm finally here, buried deep inside of you. Your pussy is tighter than I could have ever dreamed of. How is that even possible?"

"Fuck, San..." You panted, rocking your hips underneath him. "Keep going."

"Okay." San replied, smiling as he pushed into you harder. "You want it harder? Okay, I'll give it to you."

One of San's hands went to your hip, gripping you tightly as he slammed into you. His other hand gripped your hair, bringing your face closer to his as he bit down on your shoulder. "Fuck, baby." He whispered. "Your tits look amazing bouncing in the air."

"Does it feel good, Y/N?" He whispered, pushing into you even harder. "Tell me what you like. Tell me what you want me to do."

"Ahhh..." You cried out. "I like this, San. Just keep doing this. Keep doing exactly what you're doing."

His lips left your shoulder and traveled to your ear where he nibbled lightly on your lobe. "I love the way you say my name." He murmured, brushing his nose across your cheek. "It's so sexy. So, so fucking sexy."

He then trailed kisses down your neck, pausing to kiss and suck your collar bone as he continued to plunge into you. Before long, he was running his lips back up to your ear, whispering against it. "Y/N, are you ready for me to take you to heaven and back? Because I am. I am right now. As soon as you let go, I'll take you to paradise and fuck you until we both pass out from exhaustion."

"Oh god, San..." You whimpered, tightening your thighs around him. "Take me there. Take me to paradise. Don't stop fucking me. Never stop fucking me. Don't you dare stop fucking me."

"Never." He agreed, running his hand over your ass as he increased his pace, slamming into you over and over again. "I don't ever plan on stopping."

"Yes, yes, yes!" You screamed, burying your head into the pillow beneath you as San increased his speed yet again. You dug your nails into the mattress as you panted loudly, attempting to regain your breath. "San, oh god, San!"

"Cum for me, baby." He panted against your ear. "Can you cum for me?"

"Yes!" You cried out, arching your back and grabbing hold of the sheets, wrapping your fingers around them. "I'm coming! Oh god, I'm coming!"

A few seconds later, San's entire body stiffened and his dick began pulsating inside of you. For a brief moment, his cock twitched as he held onto you for dear life before the orgasm hit him and washed over him. He fell forward onto your chest, gasping for breath as you clung to him. When he caught his breath, he pulled out of you, sitting upright on the bed next to you and pulled the condom off of his dick. With a small smile, he tossed it onto the floor, then collapsed beside you, spooning you from behind.

After several minutes, you finally recovered from your near death experience and opened your eyes. You smiled softly as you saw San lying naked next to you.

"Hey." He murmured, brushing his fingertips along your arm. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." You assured him, snuggling into him.

"I didn't hurt you, did I?" San asked, stroking your arm with his thumb.

"No, you didn't hurt me." You giggled. "Actually, it felt pretty damn amazing."

"I'm glad." San sighed. "And to think that we've been living together all this time and haven't done this. We definitely need to remedy that situation."

You couldn't help but laugh as you pressed a kiss to his lips. "And how do you propose we do that?"

"Anytime, anywhere." San grinned. "I don't care. As long as it involves you and me and lots of sex."

"Oh, we can definitely work with that." You giggled. "Speaking of which...I'm kind of curious about something."

"What's that?" San asked, running his hand up and down your thigh.

"Now that this whole thing has happened...are we still playing pretend or...?"

"We're not pretending anymore, Y/N." San interrupted you. "From now on, you're mine and I'm yours."

You swallowed nervously. "Yours?"

"I'm saying that we're together, baby." San explained, pulling you in close. "For real this time. No more games. No more pretending."

You smiled softly, resting your head against San's chest. "That makes me really happy, San."

"Now that that's settled," he murmured against your neck, "how about we get this night started again? Because I know I can't wait any longer to fuck you again."

"San!" You let out a laugh as you squirmed in his arms. "Don't you dare."

"...Too late." San smirked as he slid into you. "I told you that I wouldn't stop until I fucked you again. And I meant every word."

And he certainly wasn't kidding.

#illusionnet #blossomnet #atzhouse #cromernet #wonderlandnet #ateez #ateez fanfic #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez fic #ateez fanfics #ateez stories #ateez smut #ateez san #ateez san smut #choi san #san #san smut #san x reader

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star-lights-up · 3 months ago

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OKAY OKAY OKAY BUT: Cherik "The Martian" AU

So I'm rereading the martian today because i am sick again, so obviously I need hard science fiction to combat the existential dread, and my brain just kept latching onto dialogue bits and going "CHERIK! MAKE IT CHERIK"

My thoughts are:

Charles and Erik were friends at one point, maybe during college, maybe at the beginning of training, IDK, at some point they had a bit of a falling out. They're civil enough to still get put on the mission together but it's well known they don't get along.

Though there was that one night, where they were both kinda drunk, and they got together......... ("We can't do this again." Erik said, angrily, in the morning. Charles left without so much as glancing at him, let alone responding.)

There's a sandstorm on sol 6, and the team is trying to evacuate (probably the first class team because that's just easy. Hank = pilot. I bet you moira is the leader lady, lewis, military trained or whatever. And everyone else is there too, but i'm on my asthma medication so I can't think clearly, so they don't get specific roles)

The radio dish comes off, impales Charles, he blows backward while unconscious (lower gravity or some shit idk physics) and crashes into Erik, who then gets hit by more debris. The thing that impaled Charles also impaled his biotelemetry reader, and Erik's got crushed on impact/by the debris, so both of them read as dead to their crew members, who have to leave or else they die too.

Erik wakes up first, since he's not actively bleeding and his suit's not impaled and loosing air. The sandstorm is over, the HAB (think space station/tent) is intact (yay!), but the MAV (think small spaceship good for like, a round trip to and from a larger vessel) is gone (fuck).

He tries to wake Charles up, but ends up dragging him back to the HAB on his own. He takes out the antenna that impaled him and sews up and bandages the cut, while Charles is semi-conscious. It's painful for now, but he'll live. Erik's exhausted, so he goes back to his own bunk and falls asleep, kinda hoping this is all a nightmare.

It's not gone in the morning. He's still stuck on mars in a glorified tent with limited resources and his least favorite person on the team.

They talk to each other, Charles thanks him for helping him, and they decide that they're just going to have to work together to get off of mars alive.

Charles = botanist, erik is the engineer (basically gonna have them split the original main guy's braincell. They already share one anyway).

Potato farming

Along the way, they kinda sorta start becoming friends again. They're relying on each other to survive, they're the only people each other can talk to... They play chess on the computers and watch Moira's awful 70's television and listen to disco that she brought along with her. They farm potatoes and jerry rig rovers and then oops, they fell asleep in the same tiny bunk watching tv together. Oops, they hugged after the potatoes germinated. Oops, they kissed in celebration when they finally made contact with NASA again.

Just like that, they've fallen into a new rhythm. They still argue a lot, but now there's also a good amount of kissing and little fleeting touches while they work together and they put their bunks together and fall asleep in each other's arms ("Do you realize," Charles says one night, Erik curled against his chest, pressing slow kisses to his collarbone, "We're the only people to have made love on a planet other than Earth?" Erik snorts softly, "NASA's not going to be hearing about that, if I can help it." "You realize that the HAB's always recording us, yes? They'll get the footage when we get back to Earth." "...Right. Huh." Erik frowns, then shrugs, "Worth it." Charles laughs.)

Erik gets stuck inside the airlock when the HAB deflates and they loose all their potatoes. Charles is in the rover and, for a while, was convinced Erik was dead. Until he saw the airlock start to roll towards the HAB, and then he started steering the rover over.

After they got the HAB back up, NASA tells them they're sending a supply probe called "Iris." (Transmission goes like this: [08:31] JPL: Keep us posted on any mechanical or electric problems. By the way, the name of the probe we're sending is Iris. Named after the Greek goddess who traveled the heavens with the speed of wind. She's also the goddess of rainbows. [08:47] LEN/XAV: Gay probe coming to save us. Got it. Erik heads back to the HAB. "Hello, darling. How's Houston?" Charles says, not turning from his soil samples or whatever the fuck he's been doing for three days. "They're sending us a pride-themed probe full of granola bars." Erik answers, shoving off his EVA suit. Charles turns to give him a quizzical, are-you-joking kind of look, then bursts out laughing upon seeing Erik's dead serious face. "Well, it's certainly fitting," He says, walking up to Erik and wrapping his arms around his neck, pulling him down for a kiss.)

Anyways. Iris doesn't make it, shit keeps going wrong, BUT eventually their team catches wind of a plan -- a risky plan, but one that could save cherik. So, without houston's permission, they pilot their ship on a course back to mars. They'll do a flyby, and if Charles and Erik can get to the site of Ares 5 and the MAV for that mission, retrofit the MAV, make it to their team's ship without dying/miscalculating and shooting off into the depths of outer space, they can get to that ship and on a course back to earth by sol 549.

They spend a bunch of time retrofitting their rovers for the trip, and so begins the classic cherik roadtrip -- martian style!! (I just want to mention that there's like no space, so just picture them cuddled up for a good night's sleep on the front bench of the rover. there. cuteness among the science).

They flip at one point. I could add details but it's been a while of me writing this and my brain is slowly dying and i'm tired so. that's it.

They make it to ares 5, they retrofit the MAV, then they do The Riskiest Space Flight of All Time. Random shit goes wrong, everyone's improvising, it pretty much seems like they're done for...

They get back to the big ship. They're safe!! (well, as safe as you can be in space.) But they get a hot shower and full meals and much more comfortable bunks (in separate rooms, technically, but Erik refuses to leave Charles's side so they end up in one bunk that first night. Usually they'd try to be a bit more discreet, but what the fuck. They've been stuck on mars. They almost just died. They deserve to fall asleep in each other's arms.)

They are HEROS back on earth. They get married almost immediately -- it seems quick to a lot of people, but they're so trauma bonded that, like, it's necessary. they go to paris on their honeymoon and get lots of free stuff. They never go to space again lol (and gladly)

THE END (fucking finally, it's 12:00 am on the dot and i've been writing this for 45 minutes.)

EDIT: some art I did for this au

EDIT: I fucking did it. I started writing it. Oops.

#cherik #charles xavier #erik lehnsherr #x men #magneto #xmen #professor x #x men movies #xmfc #cherik au #cherik fic idea #the martian #the martian au #andy weir #crack fic

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germesthegenie · 6 months ago

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Brief Respite At The End Of The World

Little doodle that I imagine takes place some time either during Arc 29 or after Arc 30. Wanted to do a quick drawing of this ship that for some reason lives rent free in my brain (Does it even have, like, a ship name? If there isn’t I think either Gauntlet or Handcuff could work for if I ever need to tag it but idk)

Way Too Much Yapping about a relationship between two tertiary characters below:

Part of the reason I like this ship is because these two were surprise favorites in the latter half of Worm, and I thought the mentions of them getting together in Arc 26 and 29 were cute. Though thinking a lot on the two characters (and probably a good bit of headcanon tbh), I started to appreciate it a lot more.

For Theo’s end of things, he’s always been burdened by expectations. His father tried to mold him into the next leader of the E88 from a young age, but Theo pushed back against that, instead wanting to be a hero. And then he got that, and a lot more than he asked for, accidentally becoming essentially a hero of prophecy thanks to Jack’s promise. Suddenly he wasn’t just a hero, he had to be *the* hero, live up to impossible expectations and save the world. And he was treated based on those expectations. His friendship with Weaver was pretty much based on the fact Taylor had to train him, try to make him the guy who could defeat Jack Slash. And then he failed, just barely missing the mark, and those expectations came crashing down around him. He distances himself from his team, and is mostly sulking in the background for the opening acts of Gold Morning, though one person does make an effort to reach out to him.

Aside from maybe Purity (who has her own set of issues), Ava is one of the few people in Theo’s life who likes and cares about who he is, not who he could be. And at his lowest point, where he feels he failed everyone, she’s trying to do what she can to help him recover and see he’s not a failure. And she does succeed eventually, as we see him up to fight a couple chapters later in the arc.

(Also it’s really funny and sweet that the meek girl from Arc 24 was able to almost convince Taylor “You can’t tell me what to do” Hebert to drop everything and talk to Golem, made a doodle of it a while back)

On Ava’s side of things, there’s admittedly not nearly as much to glean from just her characterization in the text alone. Like I said, she’s one of the few who appreciates Theo for who he is, regardless of expectations put on him by others. Their stories aren’t so different, only that her nemesis of sorts (Behemoth) was killed just as she was starting out. And after that fight she’s terrified, choosing not to attend the Khonsu fight. But Theo keeps pushing himself, trains knowing he’ll have to fight things that are arguably worse than the Endbringers when it comes to pain and fates worse than death. I like to think his inspiration is what led to the much more confident Cuff we see after the timeskip (though the Taylor Hebert Bootcamp probably also helped there). The main other thing we know is she had a previous boyfriend who she broke up with due to the pressures Weaver put the Chicago Wards under (which is probably a whole separate post to get into). So maybe their relationship is something that lets them both have a sense of normalcy in the insanity that is late Worm.

Or, you know, maybe I’m reading way too much into my two blorbos whose relationship gets like 5 lines of canon mention and 1 fanfic that I know of (shoutout again to Chartic, Off the Cuff is like a third of the reason I like this ship so much) and this is the best way I could put together why short of writing a fanfic myself (I might ngl but I do not have time atm)

#wormblr #parahumans #fanart #wildbow #worm spoilers #chicago wards #cuff #ava worm #golem #theo anders #cuff x golem #idk what to tag it yet #gauntletposting #bc now i do know what to tag it

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translatemunson · 11 months ago

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you've been calling my bluff on all my usual tricks • ttfd

a blurb from the universe of the tortured firefighters department

| check the masterlist |

cw: fem!reader, afab!reader, no descriptions of reader, banter (because i love it), some divergency from canon (it’s fanfic guys, so chill), proofread by my bye-lingual ass (let me know if i forgot anything)

For the first time in fifteen minutes, you could finally reach for your coffee mug.

“Dispatch, this is 118 requesting more RAs for the scene,” and there it goes nothing. It was Evan Buckley on the other side of the comms. What happened with Chim or Hen asking for backup?

“Copy, 118. Units 126 and 163 are closer to the storage,” you replied, already jumping on channels to send the ambulances their way. “Will more units be necessary?”

“I believe those will be enough, Brains.” The nickname drop. Yeah, no way you were escaping that. “It’s nice to finally hear you on a call.”

“Can’t say the same, firefighter Buckley. Mind you, we are being recorded,” you brought your mug to your mouth, the steam long gone after a late night fire emergency on a delivery storage.

“Oh, don’t be a nerd now. Everyone is safe, I bet you can chat for a few minutes.”

“Should I remind you we both are paid to save lives, and not chit chat while the 9-1-1 line is packed?”

“Oh, is it? Then why are you still on this channel?”

Ok, he got you, he got you good. Back to drinking and finding some peace to face eight more hours on your shift.

“Still there, Brains?” You could definitely hear his smirk through the call.

“Mm-mmm,” you made a funny face for the cold coffee. “Just taking a break.”

“Right. Graveyard shift again?”

“Always, because it’s from my desk straight to class tomorrow morning.” You started typing again, checking all the information from the rescue. “Don’t you have anything better to do?”

“No, not exactly. Already packed the equipment and now I'm just waiting for the guys. Is Maddie working tonight?”

“No, she only takes the graveyard shift when Chim is off duty. But you should know that. Cut the small talk and go piss Eddie off, Buckley.”

“Only if you give me your number.”

And he goes for it, for the hundredth time that week.

“So you can piss me off on and off duty? I’ll pass,” your screen lit up with updates from the incident. “Guess I’m closing this channel now.”

“See you soon, Brains.”

“Don’t wait up, Buckley.”

You disconnected from the channel once you had confirmation both RAs were on scene and now it was only a matter of taking the patients to the closest hospital — information you already cleared with the drivers, and gave that usual Brains heads up to the hospital teams — and getting them patched up.

Graveyard shifts, most of the time, were easy to sail through. Another few more hours, instructions you had memorized in the back of your mind, weak coffee someone brewed because you were out of decaf, class notes to review and you would call it a night — or maybe a day, you were never sure.

The only thing different this time around was the fact that you had Buckley on the other side of the line. And when you checked your phone, closer to 2 AM, there was a message, from an unknown number, saying “Eddie told me to piss you off because he wants to sleep :)”. Also “It’s Buck.”

Of course you knew it already.

author's note: hi, hello! i know i promised this blurb to come out yesterday, but got caught up with work stuff… BUT IT’S HERE NOW. it doesn’t spoil anything from the main timeline of the fic, it was more of a “i need to write something” moment and this is the result. don’t forget to check out the fic! see ya soon!!

#evan buckley fanfic #evan buckley #evan buckley x reader #evan buckley x you #9 1 1 abc #9 1 1 fanfiction #evan buck buckely #buck fanfiction #evan buckley imagine #effie writes #evan buckley blurb #evan buck buckley

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sublimati0ns · 1 month ago

Note

TFP crack pairing that will not leave my brain:

Starscream and Optimus Prime.

Like, I feel like Optimus could be good for Starscream? Assuming Starscream could stop backstabbing and lying to everyone for literally two seconds and actually made an effort to change, y'know?

Idk, thoughts?

-🍁

While watching TFP, I thought this pairing was plausible in Season 1!! I liked how Optimus vouched for Starscream in s01e20 “Partners,” and seemed genuinely disappointed in Arcee for letting her emotions get the best of her, causing Starscream to go rogue. Their interaction at the beginning of Season 2 was also cute, when Optimus had reverted to his Orion Pax state///

But beyond that, I think there would have to be heavy canon divergence for it to work out, ICly (IMO!) 🤔 After Optimus regains his memories in S2, he becomes colder and more jaded. When he meets Starscream in s02e13 “Triangulation,” he no longer gives him the benefit of the doubt, holding him at gunpoint and refusing to remove his restraints. He could have tried to recruit SS and teamed up against Dreadwing with him, but instead he decides to team up with Dreadwing to defeat the Apex Armour’ed Starscream 😭💔

They don’t have many moments together in general, so by the end of the series, I felt there wasn’t enough chemistry between them to substantiate a post-canon ship (even if they both lived at the end of Rising). I like ‘missing scenes’ or pre-canon exploration as well, but my main focus tends to be post-canon so as not to contradict or reframe the story’s on-screen events (just my personal preference).

But in divergent AUs of S1 or S2, I would have loved to see Starscream and Optimus work as allies and maybe become friends, at least! Maybe in another world, Starscream doesn’t get caught by the vehicons in s02e02—he reveals the truth to Orion, helps him escape, and then joins the Autobots (partially to spite Megatron and partially because it seems like a good strategic plan).

I think—at least in TFP specifically—I can only imagine them having a platonic relationship, though… They don’t seem to be each other’s types to me (Optimus seems like he’ll forever be hung up on Megatron, and Starscream… also hung up on Megatron in a different way, but he has Knock Out and Shockwave and Smokescreen in his orbit to be weird with instead 😂).

I personally prefer a “redeemed” Starscream to not deviate much from his original on-screen personality—perhaps he learns he can gain people’s respect in ways other than via fear and violence, stops taking his stress out on everyone around him, and stops jumping the gun when it comes to “they can’t fuck me over if I fuck them over first!”… but he’s still cynical, cutthroat, and ambitious. He’s still the kind of guy who believes murder is always a viable problem-solving option. He’s still going to believe that the Autobots’ “peace and love and everyone is equal and everyone gets a say” rhetoric is stupid and unsustainable… He’s just not going to try to bring it down like he did before.

So with that in mind, I feel like he’d often be at odds with Optimus, and often find Optimus’s pressure to be the bigger mech and give everyone grace to be stifling 🤔 Maybe if Optimus had a bit of a corruption arc inversely proportionate to Starscream’s redemption? … Wait, would that just result in IDW Prowl. Or IDW StarBee? Hmmm.

All this said, no judgement for OpStar fans, these are just my personal thoughts on their TFP iterations specifically! ♥️I might end up shipping them in other continuities too, once I see them interact more :D

#asks #opstar ///#starop ///#lacetalks

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lovekabaneri · 4 months ago

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Mini Magnus in Mecha AU

A fun idea I had for the TF Mecha AU by @keferon.

So, at least in my version of the storyline, Optimus is still the leader of the bots and Shockwave is a mad scientist on Earth with absolutely no morals and acting like a b-movie villain. So, no plotline with Shockwave and OP being friends BUT I started thinking about other characters and then another idea hit me: What about Ultra Magnus?

The pilot of Ultra Magnus is a dwarf human and the Magnus armor is the biggest and heaviest mech humanity has managed to build. It is even more armed and powerful than Vortex and the pilot is… just this tiny, mustachioed Italian man. It would be quite the shocker for everyone, since Magnus is not stationed in the same base as the main cast and he's mostly protecting Washington and is called only for emergencies.

Ultra Magnus is not only one of the oldest mechs but also considered a legend, since it has been protecting USA for so long and has never fallen in combat. Imagine the marketing team using pictures of Magnus and saying stuff like "The invincible mecha!" or "Ultra Magnus - proof of humanity's infallible spirit!" but never actually shared pictures of UM's pilot. So, naturally everyone imagines a classical American movie hero, a jock with square chin, to be piloting the biggest mech ever. But actually because the mech has become something of a mascot, like Blurr is the face of the pilots, the Ultra Magnus mech is always getting new improvements and is always equipped with the latest heavy weapons the R&D has released, so despite being one of the first mechs UM is actually very modern... and a b!tch to pilot because of all the new stuff they always put in!

They never show the pilot not only not to hurt the image of the "Infallible Mech" by attaching a human face with flaws to it, but because like Vortex, UM has changed several pilots during the years. Not as often as Vortex, mind you, but because of the strain of a single person driving UM, there always are health complications after prolonged use. The first Magnus died after fending off a lot of aliens from Washington on his own and defeated them all, but was brought to the hospital afterwards and died due to the link overloading his brain and causing bleeding. After him, all other pilots lasted around a year, year and half before their worsening health forced them to retire or they up and died! That is... Until 3 years before the "Jazz lost in space" fiasco.

Minimus is a dwarf, his family came from Italy when he was young, around 20 or more years pre-invasion. He though he'd have to work a desk job or take over his father's pottery business, but then the invasion happened and his home was destroyed in the first attack, his mother died. He wanted revenge, since after that his family almost fell apart, but due to his... stature, his enlistment was denied multiple times and eventually became a cook for the Washington base. He got lucky, however, when they were desperate to find new pilot for Magnus and accepted literally any applicant, as long as they were already employed in said base and signed the NDA for UM's secret. He had done both, so he was accepted for the trial runs. Everyone laughed but then that darf, that tiny mustachioed Italian, not only made the UM armor move but his compatibility was the best of the applicants! Obviously, the higher-ups didn't want to let him do it, but eventually relented, since they had no one better and needed a pilot for an upcoming event!

That's how Minimus became the pilot for Magnus mech and has held the position for the longest time(3 years), after the original Magnus (4 years), at least up to the point where Jazz is yeeted through an alien portal.

I imagined the eventual reveal of who pilots UM would be kind of like Minimus' reveal in the comics but with a dwarf human! So, everyone expects some tough guy, then human Minimus pops out of UM like a rat with his gorgeous, bushy moustache and starts scolding everyone about discipline with a deep voice and doing the signature 🤏 Italian hand gesture as he's shouting. Both humans and cybertronians would be shocked!

Just imagine this absolute unit of a mech, even taller than Prime and Vortex, comes with lumbering steps and the pilot is this *tiny* human! The bots thought humans were tiny, then they see Minimus, who is definitely under 150cm and are like "You humans also have Miniboths?!".

#transformers #tf mecha universe #tf minimus #ultra magnus #mecha pilot jazz au #fic prompt

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pseudoartistpostsstuff · 2 years ago

Note

Yandere time and hyrule headcannons

I'm not sure if you've seen the hype around sky being in his undershirt and being ✨pretty✨ in the recent update, but could I please request reader fawning over Yan!sky in his undershirt or some general hc's for him?

Thank you both for requesting!

Notes: I wasn't that online on tumblr around that time, so I only saw it now lmao.

Anyway, I did both headcannons and a oneshot, hope you'll like it!

Also, yes, I merged those two requests since headcannons can be piled into the same post.

I'll probably sound redundant in a lot of these, simply because I didn't write this at one go and when I got to it again I may have forgotten that I wrote it before. My memory is not the best, forgive me.

There are more headcannons for Time because he's my favorite, sorry.

I need a master list, seriously.

Edited before sleeping, I'm sleepy and probably messed up one or two paragraphs of this.

The oneshot in question.

TWs: Yanderism, Mentions of food and bad eating habits and a little of my fairy/fae brain rot.

Don't mind grammatical errors, please!

Headcannons for yandere Sky, Time and Hyrule.

Yandere! Lu! Sky x Reader

For starters, Sky is sweet, but he is very manipulative.

Therefore, don't be surprised if you notice you stopped doing many of the things you used to do when you first got through the portal.

Most of the time it's not even bad things!

He might team up with Hyrule and Wild to take care of your main health, like eating habits. If you're a picky eater then expect Sky to slowly transition you into eating a little bit of everything, in no time you'll be eating like Wild does.

Then again, he'll also make sure to get the ingredients to the foods you do eat without struggling, also getting Wild to make a separate meal for you, should you not eat that one specific recipe Wild made for dinner.

You'll probably be getting help from him when it comes to self-care habits as well, like, the max of skin care and hair care you can get at Hyrule. He will make the effort to talk to people who know more about your skin and hair type, those who have it and take care of it well.

But, we can't ignore the genuinely bad things he will try to influence you into doing...

Privacy? Gone.

Not only will he be around you most if not all of the time, but he will also always be paying close attention to you and what you're doing.

So if you believed keeping a journal in your language would help you keep some things to yourself, then think again. The privacy of using your language instead of hyrulean to write in your jornal will soon turn into a mere illusion. Despite being more quiet and seemingly the less imposing of the Links, Sky has already gone, and will keep going through lengths for you, which includes learning the language you use.

Of course he noticed you kept a private journal, and despite you trying to lie about the contents of it, it's only a matter of time until he is skillfully scanning through the pages with his eyes like he's reading his favorite book. Memorizing any and all information he can find about you.

As manipulative as he is, he is also delusional, he doesn't have any idea of what he is doing, he simply doesn't know that what he is doing is wrong on so many levels.

He's not doing anything on purpose, he's just trying to protect you and get you to like him, like a normal guy!! At least, Zelda liked it when he did this with her back then, just how different are you two?

Genuinely, Sky would have a hard time figuring you and your emotions out. You're a human being after all, and he respects that those things are not supposed to be easy to figure out. In fact, he highly respects and appreciates that you're complex.

Not that he'll respect boundaries, nope, no way.

You're a puzzle he's very much looking forward to figuring out. Honestly, the only puzzle he'd ever want to figure out.

So, I'll probably elaborate this later, but the chain as Gods. Sky would be very much a Thor. That means silly blonde lightening man.

Imagine hylians from Sky's era used matching earrings alike engagement rings, like, Sky just randomly inviting you to an overly nice picnic, just to hand you blue earings just like his.

And if you don't have your ears pierced anywhere it'd be even better in his eyes, since he'd just adjust it to be a "normal" ring.

It was actually an engagement ring, but you didn't know that, or any of the other Links, really, since this tradicional custom got lost in time.

Yandere! Lu! Time x Reader

I think pretty much everyone knows Time is a teasing bastard.

Don't get me wrong, he can be pretty mature, but trust me, it's not really common for him to act like that.

Time is used to pretending, he used many different masks to become different races in his journey, that was needed from him at the time, the same way that being the mature one is being needed from him right now.

Just because he is deeply traumatized emotionally and physically from his job as a hero doesn't mean his personality is lost as well.

It didn't change that much since he was a child, not really.

He is addicted to making you flustered, so if you get flustered easily I'm sorry for you.

If making you blush is a challenge then I'm just as sorry for you, because Time isn't quite known for giving up easily.

And he's good at making people embarrassed, too.

The amount of women who were in love with him is everything I need as proof.

But the worst part? He doesn't have bad pick up lines.

Look, Time is a toucher, so yes, his love language is physical touch, that makes sense to me.

That doesn't mean only cuddling, of course, it can mean cuddling and hugging when you're alone, but do expect a few more things.

I was gonna say hand holding in public, especially in crowded places, but you know what? Guiding you by holding the back of your neck is simply easier to him, and a lot more obvious "back off!" to strangers who look at you for far too long.

Also, randomly leaning against you, the two of you may be just walking and suddenly you feel a large mass lightly leaning against your own body, almost making you stumble. you might just be standing in front of the dinner table, reading a recipe book and once again you just feel that familiar presence right behind you, but instead of hugging you from behind he's just there, like he is reading the book along with you.

Remember how you were reading that one recipe book? Well he might give it a try and help you make something in the kitchen just to spend time with you. Like, you're just pouring ingredients in a bowl and he's there "helping" you by wrapping his arm around your waist to give you "emotional support", as he calls it.

He is, in reality, just standing there watching you cook, trying his best to resist the urge to distract you and simply annoy you, because he is still trying to make it seem like he is a mature, grown man, and definitely not one who is eyeing the flour in his reach and thinking about launching a handful of it at you.

You did see his hand slowly reaching for the flour in the corner of your vision. He only stopped once you threatened to scoop out his remaining eye should even a speck of flour hit your face.

Yet, Time is a creative man, flour was only one of his plans.

He's got wandering hands and wandering lips. And he can and will make use of those just to distract you.

And that's how Time became banned from the kitchen when you were the one cooking, only being able to join you for cleaning later.

So yeah, his love language is physical touch, but it is also disturbance.

In that matter, he's not very different from Wind when you two are alone. If you ignore his flirtatious moves, that is. But he's quite different when you two are with the others, especially if you've done, or is doing something to annoy him, then he has to keep up that mature facade of his.

He believes the others won't take him seriously should he reveal his actual personality, so really, when you're around others you'll only get glimpses of it from time to time.

It is mandatory from the Links to be stubborn, but Time takes the cake.

Maybe it is his age, but he will never change his mind, ever. No point in arguing.

So when he is silly, he is silly, but when he is serious he is terrifying, no exaggeration.

The worst part is that older people have a lot of respect in Hyrule, so no matter what he says, his word is law.

Now, don't get me wrong, by now, pet names are just a thing Time always does with you, in a way you barely hear your own name coming from his lips unless he's being really serious about something.

But actual words of affirmation? Not his thing.

He'd much rather be as clingy as glue to you when you're alone.

But, not like Sky's soft, light cuddles. Time Will basically smother you.

Seriously, it may be his sheer muscle mass, but he'll drap himself over you in a way you'll feel yourself surrounded by him.

In fact, the first time he did it you probably almost suffocated.

You'll get used to it eventually, though. Hopefully.

He's pontual and very strict as well, he and Hyrule are probably gonna be bickering in most matters involving you, like, for example, "five more minutes" naps.

Don't even try to trick him, you'll hear stuff like "I was your age once" and shit, the man will act like he's a hundred years old or something.

Then again, he might be, after all, he is older in mind than he is in body.

He was forced to mature quicker and went through a lot of trauma, that, and he also had to go back in time a lot of times.

Now that I think about it, he probably lived for longer than your grandparents. Just saying.

Yandere! Lu! Hyrule x Reader

Don't get him wrong, Hyrule is very much full of love, really. He cares about everyone equally.

Yet, as corny as that is, your name isn't "everyone", you're not anyone, you're you, how could he even think about possibly treating you the same way as he treats everyone else?

You're put on a pedestal, everyone else is treated equally by him, except you, you are treated like you are divine and not mortal like he is.

So you'll feel like a toddler 24/7 around Hyrule, he is not as stubborn as Time, he's just… Persistent.

The other Links will find themselves teasing him for it a lot, even if deep inside they are just the same.

Play nice, walk on the line and you'll have a Hyrule at your beck and call. If you know how to do it right, you will be able to use his babying to your own benefit, because trust me, his persistence can work on the Links much more than yours, after all, they trust him for being another Link.

I feel like he'd also help you keep pets, it may be his fairy nature, but he is just good with animals, especially with forest animals. Be them small or big.

Although he definitely has a soft spot for smaller pets, even more if you're the one asking him to bring along a pet you found.

Surprisingly or not, Hyrule is probably one of the most protective Links if you happen to lean more towards the naive/vulnerable side of the spectrum.

It's a general fairy headcannon of mine, but since fairies take care of forest and the animals there, specially the smaller or more vulnerable types of animals, then it's not new for them to be also quite protective towards humans close to them.

Bonus points if they have those traits.

But then again, you're Hyrule's darling, you may be as strong and independent as a Link yourself, but he'll still see you as in need of his care and attention at all times.

That also may or may not be another reason why Hyrule treats you like a toddler.

So yeah, coddling. Lots of it.

Hyrule is also a fan of small things, trinkets. Natural or shiny... Precious or useless... In his eyes all are treasures.

Treasures you'll find your bags and pockets full of.

He is absolutely a rock, cristal guy.

Imagine, you're just walking to another village, and suddenly Hyrule stops walking for a few moments, just to speed walk towards you again just a bit later, cleaning something he is holding in his hands with the help of his sleeve.

Then he hands you a small, clear rock, grinning.

Better get used to this, it's probably gonna happen at least once every day.

So yeah, love language is gift giving and acts of service.

I feel like he's very awkward with words of affirmation, he didn't spend a lot of time saying or hearing those, after all. Like most of the Links.

#yandere x reader #tw: yandere #yandere linked universe #link x reader #linked universe x reader #yandere link x reader #lu sky #lu sky x reader #lu time #lu time x reader #lu hyrule #lu hyrule x reader #yandere lu sky #yandere lu time #yandere lu hyrule

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selencgraphy · 8 months ago

Text

— 𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐎𝐒

PAIRING: platonic!loki laufeyson x f!reader x platonic!bucky barnes

TAGS: fluff, prank war, mutant!reader, canon divergent, he/him pronouns for loki

A/N: one more lost selencgraphy fic that i came back and edited a bit :) just a little silly goofy fic with favs! happy reading <3

WORD COUNT: ~2k

masterlist || request box <3

You were growing tired of the repetitiveness of how the tower looked. Of course you were grateful for Tony providing you a place to live, but the interior design could use some touch-ups. However, when you ran the idea by the man himself you didn’t expect him to start on it immediately. “I know I told you I wanted to make some changes but maybe a little heads up next time?”

“If I remember the conversation correctly, I remember you said you wanted—no, needed this to happen, so I’m just doing what you asked me to,” he shrugged.

“I- Ugh, can you at least tell these guys to clear out for just a couple minutes, so I can grab some of my stuff,” you groaned, pinching the bridge of your nose in annoyance.

Tony quickly waved for the crew he hired to clear out for you. Entering your room, you grabbed some clothes, your laptop, a pillow and blanket and stuffed them into a small backpack. After making sure you had everything that you needed to get through the day while they worked, you headed out back past Tony into the main area of the floor. As you walked out, Loki was stepping out of the elevator. “What is this?”

“I talked to Tony about some things that I wanted to change about my side of the floor, and he decided to not procrastinate for the first time in his life,” you retorted, raising your voice slightly at the end of your sentence for Tony to hear. “Meaning that I gotta crash out here for the week, or until they’re done.”

He hummed in response and suddenly waved his hands. To your right, green light flashed over the couches as Loki conjured some of his stuff, some more pillows and blankets, and a movie projector. “Sleepover?!” you gasped.

“Sleepover,” Loki confirmed, a grin growing on both of your faces.

“I gotta invite, Bucky,” you say as you go to grab your phone, but he stops you.

“Already done, darling.”

Unfortunately, the sleepover couldn’t start until later that evening because it was still Friday meaning everyone still had work to do.

You, Loki, Bucky, and Wanda all were given second chances with your places on the team. Like Bucky, HYDRA had controlled you for decades, using your abilities to further push their agenda. They’d managed to get their hands on other mutants, but you were the only one with your kind of powers that HYDRA was able to get their hands on. A pyrokinetic.

To them, you were their purifier. The one who would “bring their goals to light.” Despite your differing abilities, the two of you were partners. Then you and the Winter Soldier were sent on a mission to take down Captain America and his associates.

Everything was going smoothly until your masks fell off mid-fight. Steve had recognized the both of you. Old friends from a time you were all taken from. Despite the brainwashing, Steve had triggered something in your brains that caused you both to become disoriented. When you regrouped with HYDRA, vague memories of your old life filled your mind. Despite their efforts to keep you under their control, you and the Soldier- Bucky were able to break free. Eventually you and Bucky found yourselves back with Steve and worked with the Avengers to try and atone for all the suffering HYDRA had made you cause. After months of work with the Dora Milaje, the Russian trigger words could no longer bring forth the Winter Soldier and Pyro.

A few years later, Thor returned to Earth along with his brother, Bruce, and a few thousand Asgardians in search of a new home. Thor had ensured the rest of the team that Loki was no longer the man they had met initially and that Thanos had compelled him to do all those things.

Like the ones before him, he was given a chance to atone for his previous actions with a place on the team. Eventually, you all were able to become comfortable amongst the rest of the Avengers. Steve had been one of your closest friends before HYDRA had taken you and Bucky so you tried to reconnect. Rebuilding that friendship after all these years was hard, but you all made it work. It took the rest of them a while before they warmed up to the new additions but soon enough, everyone came around. Living in one place helped with that a lot. Routines were built and stuck to. The Avengers had become a true family.

Of course, some were closer than others. You, Bucky, and Loki were the closest. The three of you became inseparable at some point. Tony was willing to let you and Loki live on the same floor in the tower, but called for at least a little separation. Bucky took the floor beneath yours and shared it with Steve. With the renovations to your part of the floor, the chaos that erupted when the three of you were together was about to get much worse.

A secluded sleepover with only the three of you was the least of the rest of the team’s worries. Most of the time, the separation between the three of you kept things pretty calm in the tower. Putting the God of Mischief, pyrokinetic, and super soldier together sounded like an amazing idea for missions, but in a normal setting? Utter mayhem.

At first, the pranks were contained between the three of you but later you learned that you all worked better together.

Growing up with you both, Steve already had a taste of what you were capable of in terms of pranks. He also was very familiar with that look on your face when you were about to prank someone.

Finishing up your tasks for the week, you walked into the kitchen to grab a quick snack before brewing your devious plans. Walking in, Steve was busy at work making dinner. Looking up he noticed you enter and greeted you. As he looked at you, something worried him but decided to pay no mind to it at first. His first mistake.

“So what’s cooking, Stevie?’

Turning away from the stove, he turned to answer you as you took a seat across the counter island. “I,” he started, “am making spaghetti. Do not eat too much before dinner.”

You both let out a chuckle as he returned back to his pot. “So any plans for the weekend, Mr. America?”

“Hmm, nothing much. Probably gonna do the usual, you know. Hit the gym, maybe sketch a little.”

Finishing up the noodles and sauce, he placed them on the counter to let them sit before he called for dinner. You still hadn’t moved from your spot surprisingly. But instead of snacking on some fruit, you were now leaning back in your seat, eyes closed. Studying your face once again, a subtle look on your face caused worry to fill him once again, he just couldn’t pinpoint why. Unfortunately for him, you had been planning some pranks for the weekend. Noticing the lack of noise from the cook, you opened your eyes and were met with the blonde man staring at you. “What?”

“Nothing, it’s just been a while since we’ve just been like this. Just us two hanging out.”

“Yeah…”

“You remember when Bucky had to go stay with his sisters for the day, leaving us stuck at my house.”

You hummed. “You cooked us spaghetti that day too.”

A silence fell between you two as you felt the nostalgia.

“Alrighty, we don’t want the food to get cold, why don’t you let the team know dinner’s ready?”

—

Not long after you left the kitchen to alert the team, you realized that going through the tower and letting everyone know one by one was going to take forever. “F.R.I.D.A.Y?” you called out.

“Yes, Y/N”

“Could you let everyone know that Steve is done cooking?”

“Of course.”

Before returning to the dining room, you decided to go back to your floor. As you exited the elevator Loki was exiting his room to meet with the rest of the team. “Darling,” he greeted.

A smile grew on your face. “Good, you’re still here. I got some ideas that I want to run by you.”

The two of you finally joined the rest of the team in the dining room a few minutes later. Unfortunately for you, Bucky had already begun eating. You tried to catch Bucky’s attention, but he was too busy trying to stuff his mouth. Luckily for you, your trio consisted of a god who could read minds and communicate telepathically. Turning to Loki, you subtly pointed to your head to signal him to read your mind. He quickly caught on and his voice appeared in your head.

What is it, darling?

I wanted to tell Buck the plan, but he’s already eating... Could you do it for me?

Loki’s abilities always came in handy whenever you wanted to do something like this. Unbeknownst to everyone else, you could have full blown scheming sessions or just conversations. He lightly nodded as you both continued to grab your food. The three of you have done this so many times that Loki randomly popping into your heads didn’t startle you anymore. After a minute, you noticed a faint smile on Bucky’s face. Suddenly Loki’s voice popped into your head again.

He told me to tell you, and I quote, “You are a fucking genius, doll.”

You slightly smirked as you ate. The rest of the team has no idea what’s about to hit them in the next few days.

—

“WHAT IN THE FUCK?”

The weekend had already begun and everyone was doing their own thing. Steve, of course, was doing his normal routines as usual. Luckily for you, you knew that schedule by heart and so did Bucky. You both snuck into the gym just before he got in and set everything up. Hearing Steve’s shout signaled that your plans were more than successful. Everyone who was still in the tower ran over to the gym to see what was going on, Tony arriving first. “Woahhh Cap, what’s with the lang- HOLY SHIT-”

As everyone piled into the gym, they were all met with Steve drenched in water and covered in flour. No one could keep themselves from laughing. Tony looked up to the ceiling where two buckets were placed, both tilted over after releasing their contents. “Looks like someone set you up, Cap,” he said through broken chuckles.

Steve thought for a moment before slowly turning his gaze to two people in the room. You and Bucky. “You two-”

“What?” you asked, raising your hands to emphasize your innocence.

“Don’t ‘What?’ me, Y/L/N. I knew you were up to something.”

You turned to Bucky, a face of guilt and slight fear on both of your faces to Steve’s rage. “Run?” he whispered.

“Run,” you confirmed. As the two of you bolted out of the gym, Steve chased quickly behind you. “I fucking hate you two!”

As you both rounded the corner to the kitchen, you passed Loki who hid behind the wall of the open door. Once you two cleared the doorway he quickly poured oil onto the floor. Suddenly, Steve came flying into the room. Literally. As the rest of the Avengers caught up with you all at the sound of Steve crashing, Tony couldn’t help but double over and die of laughter. “Oh my god!! F.R.I.D.A.Y?”

“Yes, sir?”

“The security cameras got that, right?”

“Yes, sir.”

“PERFECT!”

As Steve gathered himself, he let out a groan. “Why do I always have to end up at the other end of your pranks?”

“Because that’s how it’s always been, Stevie,” you remarked as you patted his shoulder and left the room.

Before Bucky left the room behind you, he whispered to Tony, “Please send me that footage.”

Steve, with his super hearing, still caught it though. “DO NOT SEND HIM THAT FOOTAGE!”

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #loki laufeyson #loki laufeyson fic #loki laufeyson fluff #loki laufeyson x reader #loki laufeyson x you #marvel #marvel fic #mcu #mcu fic #tom hiddleston #sebastian stan

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buckychristwrites · 2 years ago

Text

Could This Be | Chap. Five | j.t.

Pairing: Jamie Tartt x F!Reader

Summary: One minute, you're single and working for AFC Richmond as the team's medic. The next minute, you're in a fake relationship with the team's handsome striker who you know next to nothing about.

Word Count: 3.4k

Warnings: Discussions of Previous Emotional & Physical Domestic Violence. Cussing. Fake Dating

A/N: I hope you guys enjoy :)

Masterlist | Could This Be Masterlist | Main Blog

“Should we go in, then?”

“Probably.”

Despite this, the both of you continued to sit in Jamie’s idling car. A slow trickle of rain fell on the windshield. From what you could tell, Keeley and Roy had not arrived yet.

“Unless you want to wait for them?” You asked him. All he did was shrug. It was clear that he was anxious too. He kept pulling at the end of his jacket, you noticed, and tapping his fingers against the steering wheel. Raising your hand slowly, hesitantly, you reached over and placed it on his forearm lightly. He jumped at the contact before whirling his head to face you.

“It’s gonna be okay,” You said softly. He looked between you and your hand, taking a deep breath before nodding. Just as he was about to speak, you looked over his shoulder to find Roy and Keeley on the other side of the street, approaching the door to the restaurant. You nodded in their direction. “They’re here. You ready?” He nodded before turning the car off and climbing out. You did the same, walking to the other side of the car where he stood. He held his hand out for you, raising his eyebrows in question. Your heart rate picked up from the anxiety the gesture brought, but even still, you reached out and pressed your palm into his. He adjusted his hand to entwine your fingers into his own before leading you across the road.

Your breath caught in your throat.

It was so simple. Yet, you had forgotten what it was like to have your hand held so delicately. His hand was warm against yours, but in a comforting way. His fingers were wrapped tightly around your hand, but not too tight to where you felt like you were in trouble, yet not so loose that you felt like he was doing it out of obligation. Both of those feelings, you were all too familiar with. There was something about the way his fingertips felt against the top of your hand that was so… consoling.

It made you want to cry on the spot. But, this time, not from sadness, or fear.

You wanted to cry out of euphoria.

Keeley caught sight of the two of you first, her face instantly breaking out into a wide smile.

“I can’t fuckin’ stand how cute the two of you are,” She said, shaking her head as she opened her arms for a hug. You walked into them, Jamie hugging Roy at the same time. When Keeley pulled away so she could hug Jamie, you turned to Roy.

“How’s my favourite grumpy old troll?” You asked him as he kissed your cheek and hugged you.

“I feel like I see enough of you pricks without having to spend a whole dinner with you,” He grumbled, although you could just make out the playful tone in his voice. You rolled your eyes at him. Jamie opened the door to the restaurant and allowed Roy, Keeley and then yourself to enter before following behind. His hand brushed against yours as the group approached the hostess, and, instinctively, you slipped your hand in his, entwining your fingers for him this time.

The fact that the feeling of your hand being held left you with butterflies in your stomach made you feel so stupid. It shouldn’t be this groundbreaking to your stupid brain that you were holding someone’s hand without being afraid. But you continued with it anyway.

The hostess led the four of you to your table right away, allowing you to sit at the window table. Jamie pulled your chair out for you, a deep heat filling your cheeks as you sat down under the suspicious stare of Roy Kent, who had already sat down. When Jamie’s hand left yours, your skin was left with a cold void. The waitress was already swooping over with glasses of water before your chair was even scooted in.

“Jamie, when did you become such a gentleman?” Keeley asked, her hand over her chest. He looked between the three of you as he took his own seat. Clearly, he hadn’t done something he felt was worth commenting on.

“Oh erm…”

“Isn’t he such a gentleman though?” You interjected, saving him from answering. “He even brought me flowers when he picked me up. Beautiful bouquet of roses.” You put a hand on his upper arm and gave it a squeeze. “Part of the reason I like him so much, I think.” Roy, who had been taking a drink of his water, snorted, blowing bubbles into his glass and subsequently getting water all over himself. Everyone else at the table wordlessly decided to collectively ignore this.

“So,” Keeley said, resting her chin over the tops of her hands. “Tell me everything.”

You and Jamie exchanged a look. It was too much to expect the subject to not be brought up so early in the dinner. Though, you were hoping to at least have some bread before it was mentioned.

“Well, obviously, we met at work,” Jamie said, throwing his napkin on his lap. You had to resist the urge to run your hands down your face.

Sweet fucking Jesus.

“Well, I’ve been enlightened,” Roy said, having just finished cleaning the water off his black button up shirt.

“It wasn’t because of work that we started talking though,” You explained, smiling sweetly at Keeley, who was still eagerly listening to the two of you.

“Oh yeah, we ran into each other outside of work one day,” Jamie added. You looked at him before looking back at them. Now he was giving you something to work with.

“Oh? Where did you run into each other?” Keeley asked. You glanced at Jamie again right as he was shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

“The Zoo.” It slipped out so fast that you weren’t sure who had said it until everyone turned to stare at you. You nodded, standing by your answer. “The London Zoo. We ran into each other there.” Roy turned to Jamie.

“Why the fuck were you at the Zoo?” He asked. Jamie looked positively offended by the question.

“I love animals.”

“Enough to go to the Zoo by yourself?”

“Who said I was by meself?”

“Who were you with then?”

Jamie stammered for a moment too long before finally saying, “...Meself.”

“I personally love going to the zoo by myself,” You chimed in casually just as the waitress came by with a basket of bread and to take drink orders.

“We all are aware of your passion about zoos and animals,” Roy said as he ignored the new presence looming over the table. “I’m talkin’ about ‘im.”

“I’d love some wine,” Keeley said happily to the waitress, entirely unfazed by whatever it was that was happening at this table.

“Just keep the whiskeys comin’, love,” Jamie added, giving the waitress a tense smile.

“Same for me,” Roy said, glaring at Jamie.

“I’ll just stick with water,” You whispered before taking a long sip. This was clearly going to be the longest night of your life, and while you would rather be drunk for it, someone needed to be sober. And you weren’t sure that someone was going to be Jamie, who had also been your ride.

“What were you doing at the zoo, Jamie?” Keeley asked. He raised his shoulders in a shrug.

“Just felt like walkin’ amongst the animals.” He took a long drink from his water glass, and you did the same.

“And you two just ran into each other?” She followed up. You looked over at him, imagining this fake meeting in your mind.

“Yeah,” You said quietly. “We got to talking, and then the next thing we knew, hours had passed and we had just been walking around in circles!” Keeley smiled as if she was watching a romantic comedy in real time. You felt like you were an actor in one. Playing out the scenes but none of them actually being your own.

“What’s your favourite animal at the zoo then, Tartt?” Roy asked as he took another drink from his water glass.

“Pandas. Easy,” Jamie said confidently, folding his arms in front of him. It took everything in you to not slide out from your chair and under the table. You reached over and put a hand over his.

“...Would be your favourite if they had pandas, like we talked about when we ran into each other!” You said through your teeth. Jamie smiled.

“Right. Fuckin’ love pandas. They should be at every zoo.”

“You had mentioned the African wild dogs were really good, if I’m remembering correctly,” You said as you scratched your forehead. Jamie snapped his fingers before pointing at you.

“That’s what I meant. African wild dogs.”

“Yeah, because African wild dogs are so similar to fuckin’ pandas,” Roy retorted. You grabbed a piece of bread and stressfully took a very large bite.

“It’s the fur pa’ern,” Jamie tried to defend himself, gesturing around his eyes. “They got the dark fur around their eyes, yeah? Similar to pandas.”

“Isn’t the bread here just amazin’!?” Keeley asked as she took a piece for herself. It was unclear if she was trying to alleviate the tension or if she just really thought the bread was good, but you were thankful for her input regardless. Both Roy and Jamie took that opportunity to take a piece of bread for themselves. The waitress came back with the drinks, setting them down and pulling out her pad for orders.

“We need a minute,” Roy told her before she could even get a word out. She nodded before wandering off again. You took the menu and opened it for the first time. Jamie, instead of reading his own, was looking over your shoulder.

“I recommend the fettuccine,” He said quietly, pointing to where it was on the menu. “Although their shrimp is pretty good too.” You glanced over the menu to see if Keeley and Roy were paying attention before turning your head slightly towards Jamie.

“I’m allergic to shellfish,” You whispered, desperate for the other two not to hear.

“You’re allergic to shellfish?” He whispered back in a shock filled voice. You nodded.

“My throat will close right up.” You closed your fist quickly to demonstrate, causing Jamie’s eyes to widen. Roy dropped his menu loudly onto the table, making the both of you jump.

“You didn’t know she’s allergic to shellfish?” He demanded, sounding displeased, almost disgusted. You set the menu down lightly.

“It just hasn’t come up, Roy,” You said, trying and failing to not sound tired. “We’ve only just started dating. We’re still getting to know each other.” Keeley turned to Roy, putting her hand on his thigh.

“Babe,” She said gently. “You need to calm down.” His eyes rolled upward, staring at the ceiling as she chastised him. “They’re our friends, yeah? There’s no need to quiz them, or interrogate them! They’re happy, and we’re happy.” His eyes fell on Jamie once again.

“Yeah,” He grumbled. “Happy.”

Keeley turned around to face forward again, giving you another bright smile. You were so thankful for her at this moment. Though you knew that Roy meant well, you weren’t sure he always realised how incredibly intimidating he is. Or maybe he did, and he just didn’t care. The waitress returned to take orders, and you did take Jamie’s suggestion to get the chicken fettuccine alfredo (no shrimp for you though). When she walked off again, you saw that Roy and Jamie both started and finished their whiskeys in the same gulp at the same time.

“What sort of things do you do together?” Keeley asked, sipping on her wine.

“Ride bikes!” Jamie was quick to answer on his own. This time, Roy turned to you.

“You fuckin’ hate cycling.”

You shrugged, trying to remain casual. “I’m getting into it.” You tilted your head, trying to look thoughtful. “Jamie’s helped me… see the fun in it. Like he did with you!” He looked so homicidal that you had to look away while drinking your water to avoid laughing.

“Sometimes we just run errands together, just so we don’t have to do them alone,” You added. “But also, obviously, to spend more time together.” Keeley looked lovestruck.

“Awww, you always talk about how much you hate doing errands alone!”

Which you did. It always felt so… sad to go to the grocery store or to the bank alone. Something about the fact that this was a lie made your chest hurt.

The waitress swept in again, this time to deliver the plates of food. The serving size was smaller than you had thought it would be, especially due to the amount it was going to cost. You weren’t used to fancy restaurants, mostly going to the local takeout spots near your house that gave you enough food to last a few days. Picking up your fork, you dug into your plate, as everyone else already had.

You looked over at Jamie, who you just now noticed had gotten the fettuccine as well. When he noticed your gaze on him, he raised his eyebrows in question.

“No shrimp?” You asked curiously. He shook his head, looking at you with knitted eyebrows.

“Didn’t want to risk it.”

“Risk what?” You asked. He pointed to you.

“You.” He looked confused. “Being near it makes your throat go-” He closed his fist tightly, just as you had done before. “-yeah?” You shook your head, biting back a smile.

“It’s only if I ingest it, or if it touches my food,” You explained.

He let out a quiet, “Oh,” looking down at his plate before his eyes were on you once more.

“Oh well.”

It was touching how he considered you when ordering his own food. There were specific memories in your head of parties (yes, multiple) thrown by your ex significant other where you couldn’t eat any of the food provided due to shellfish being involved. The sadness you had felt during those times was so vivid in your mind.

“Do you even know where the zoo is?” Roy asked, reeling the conversation back. You wanted to throw your fork at him.

“Camden,” Jamie answered without a second thought. You were surprised at the speed, but tried not to let that show in your expression. Roy didn’t say anything in response, just growling, as he always does, before turning back to his plate.

Soon enough, your plate was empty. The food wasn’t anything to phone home about, and certainly not worth the price tag, but it was decent enough. Jamie hummed, making you look at him in time to see him gesturing towards his mouth.

“You got somethin’…” He said. You went to grab your napkin, but he was already reaching over with his own. “May I?” You caught his eye before nodding. It was delicate, the way he wiped the alfredo sauce from your mouth. It was also incredibly intimate, and you could feel the embarrassment filling your chest. He didn’t appear to notice as he pulled away. “There ya go, love.”

The nickname caught you off guard. Of course, you had heard him refer to the waitress earlier in the same way, but you weren’t expecting the same treatment. Though, maybe that was on you for not. You tried to continue as normal, and not allow yourself to feel whatever it was that was boiling up in your chest. Was it anxiety? Was it delight? It was hard to say.

The waitress came back with the check, which Jamie snatched as Roy began to reach for it.

“I got it,” Roy said with his hand held out. Jamie shook his head, raising his hand so his palm was facing Roy.

“Please.”

“Give me the fuckin’ check, Tartt.”

Jamie didn’t say another word, instead just taking his credit card out of his wallet. When the waitress came by again, he all but threw them at her without breaking eye contact with Roy.

The way Jamie and Roy naturally butt heads on their own without your intervention had always been funny, but it being worse now that you were involved made it all the more hilarious.

Before long, the four of you were standing to leave. Just as you turn to walk away from the table, you find Jamie standing there waiting with his hand extended out towards you. It was hard to pretend you weren’t excited to have your hand back in his. When your fingers curled through his again, it felt like cuddling up under a blanket after a long day at work. Like your hand was just meant to be held by his. In a fake romantic sort of way, of course.

The rain was still softly falling. Your eyes drifted upwards towards the sky once you crossed the threshold into the cool night air. As you and Jamie walked, your intertwined hands naturally swung back and forth. Roy and Keeley turned before getting too far.

“Thank you for the lovely evening,” Keeley said, giving you a hug. Despite yourself, your hug back was only one armed, as you still had a grip on Jamie’s hand. He didn’t make any moves to break it either, as he said his goodbyes. When you turned to Roy, you gave him a small smile.

“Are you gonna start being nice now?” You asked him. He rolled his eyes.

“I’ll be the nicest fuckin’ angel on the planet.”

You gave him your most radiant smile.

“Thank you.”

When you hugged him, he didn’t say another word, but he gave you a tight squeeze. And that was enough. You knew exactly what he meant.

One more set of waves were exchanged as Jamie and you turned to head towards his car. He opened the door to the passengers side for you, and when you flopped in, your hand fell from his, leaving the void once again. He ended up only having one drink, the other one abandoned on the table once the food arrived. You were grateful, as you didn’t want to drive his car.

Jamie climbed into the driver’s side and shut the door. Staring at the steering wheel, a moment passed before he spoke. “I think that went alright.”

You wrinkled your nose in thought.

“I think it went as well as one could expect it to.”

As he pulled the car from the curb, you curled into your seat, the anxiety melting away now that it was just you and him.

“Glad I didn’t get the shrimp,” He mumbled. “Coulda killed ya.”

“It would’ve gotten us out of the dinner though,” You pointed out. “Wouldn’t have had to listen to you say there’s pandas at the London zoo.” He let out a loud laugh.

“I didn’t know!” He was laughing as he said this.

“That’s obvious,” You said, shaking your head. He shot you a pouty look, and you shook your head even more.

“We hadn’t even ordered at that point,” He pointed out. “So I woulda said it either way. Just couldn’t escape it.” You stared out the windshield, fighting the urge to laugh anymore.

“A shame.”

You watched the buildings go by as the car drove down the surprisingly sparse road. It was slightly dark, the only light being from the headlights and the post lamps.

“D’you know what though, I think we convinced Roy,” Jamie said happily. You rolled your head across the headrest to look at him.

“Maybe,” You said. “But he’ll probably still be mean to you.” He shrugged.

“I’m not worried.” He made a nonchalant face. “He’s already mean to me.” You fought a smile.

“That’s true,” You said. “Although, you deserve it sometimes.”

“Oi, when the fuck do I deserve it?” He demanded, staring at you as if you had betrayed him.

“When you’re being a fucking prick?” You shouted back at him in a questioning tone. He fell back in his seat.

“Yeah, alright.” A beat passed. “But most of the time, I don’t deserve it, right?”

You stared down at your hand, curling and straightening your fingers over and over to try and fight the tingling feeling creeping through them. It didn’t work, but you already knew why. If you imagined hard enough, you could pretend like a warm hand was still fit inside it. Maybe that was all you could do to fill the void. Just pretend.

“No, Jamie,” You said. “Most of the time, you don’t.”

TAGS

@daffieapple, @my-left-sock, @buckybarnex, @jelleeyfish, @ricciardhoe3, @picked-off-by-barzal, @lilweirdgal, @hotdoglamp, @loveslide, @rosea-h, @13-7-19-67-71. @wickedheartz, @xxenia14, @zazima, @alainabooks143. @geek-and-proud, @imagines-reblogged, @fuckifuckedup, @booklovingduck, @loveforaugust, @f1maverick, @jamieroyjamieroy, @meisterdani, @hanybunch, @batsy-bats1, @brianandthemays, @heletsmelovehim. @breepboopbap, @jellycolors

#jamie tartt #jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt fanfiction #jamie tartt imagine #tedlassosource #ted lasso fanfiction

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insomniac-rambling · 3 months ago

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Explaining why the parasites from Rodamrix lowkey abuse Shapeshifter

Exhibit A: What even is Shapeshifter?

In both timelines, Shapeshifter, or as I like to call, Forteshifter, is an antagonist who is part of the Impostor species. A race known almost exclusively to be enemies of Crewmates. According to the Rodamrix Fandom Wiki, its abilities are as follows:

Claws

Prehensile tongue

Shapeshifting aka color-changing

Regenaration

And

Not having a goddam jaw apparently

“But Ramble, didn’t the Wiki also say that Shapeshifter was a parasite? How could they be abusing itself?”

Oh how I could go into mental health and how people get abused by their own brains…But to put a lid on THAT topic, I’m just gonna say it here

Shapeshifter is NOT a parasite. But it IS connected to them.

How do we know? Well, let’s look at why people say that it IS a parasite first. Our first scene? In episode three of the main series, Power. Where we first meet the guy, and our first look is this:

I know, really helping my case. But hear me out. I’m gonna call this its ‘parasite form’, where it essentially IS the parasites. And I know what I said earlier, I’ll get to that. In this form, Shapeshifter is just barely in the shape of a bean. With tentacles, mouths, a red eye. The only indication that it’s something we’re familiar with is its round shape and stumpy legs.

The second scene comes here, in episode 5 of the original series, Encounter

Here, Shapeshifter is shown to not have a name. In fact the text glitches out, like it’s trying to find a name for Shapeshifter, but can’t seem to. This would make sense for a parasite being ejected, since I’m pretty sure they don’t have individual names…But who knows, I could be wrong lol. Anyways, Shapeshifter doesn’t have a name. This is obviously significant, meaning it likely doesn’t have an identity. At least not a proper one. No wonder, it doesn’t have an ID, it switches colors, the damn thing doesn’t even have a stable body!

Now, I know what you’re thinking.

“Well, if it doesn’t have an identity, and it looks like that fucked up mess, how can it not be a parasite?”

To which I say BAM!

Yeah, take it all in. This is from episode 6 of the alternate timeline, Red. Specifically the second half of it. In this scene, a parasite tendril has just witnessed Red making up with his friends after revealing to them that he was an Impostor. After learning this, it goes to Shapeshifter, and whispers in its ear the tea. Like your friend from high school telling you about Josh’s new bae.

This makes no sense.

First of all, if Shapeshifter was a parasite, wouldn’t that mean it would be mentally connected to the others? And therefore already know that Red spilled his secret? Why does it need a parasite telling it that like a devil on its shoulder tempting it to sin?

This implies only one thing. Shapeshifter, on some level, is a separate entity from the parasites. It is very clearly connected to them, but they are NOT one and the same. Secondly, if they WERE the same, then how do you explain the tentacles?

The picture on the left is from episode 4 of the alternate timeline, Stranger. The picture on the right is from episode 6, Red. Also the second half. Let’s focus on the picture on the left first.

Here, Shapeshifter is destroying the parasite specimens the Polus team has collected for…why did it do that? I could never figure that out. Anyways, we’re not here to discuss the scene. We’re here for the tentacles.

“😏?”

Not like that. Here, the coloration of the tentacles is a sort of purpleish dark red. Which, if we were really paying homage to the og Fortegreen, I would’ve made bright yellow or red. But then again, that probably wouldn’t be very aesthetically pleasing, so this was a good call. However, later on, the tentacles take on a…different appearance.

For some context, Red, Blue, White, and Tan teamed up with Impostors Pink and Purple to fight Shapeshifter. But they immediately get separated, allowing Shapeshifter to come to Glitchy disguised as their deceased mother/father/parent to kill the poor kid. Dark. In order to save Glitchy, Red uses his own prehensile tongue to stab Shapeshifter in the eye/visor, killing it. But it seems the parasites weren’t quite done with it. Reviving the Impostor, and also…giving it an interesting change.

Upon revival, Shapeshifter’s tentacles have taken on the appearance of parasites. Becoming colored black with bright red eyes, just like the parasites themselves. Again, this makes no sense. If it was the parasites, wouldn’t its tentacles look like this at all times? And not that reddish color from earlier? How come it’s only after Red kills it that it goes from this:

to THIS?

The only explanation I can think of is that it’s a parasite-infected Impostor, such as Indigo, Gun Bean, or Red. After all the parasites did change his appearance once they took full control of him, maybe something similar happened here? Shapeshifter’s consciousness was temporarily taken out, allowing the parasites to take over completely. Maybe even permanently. Its visor did stay red by the end of the episode.

So now that we’ve established that Shapeshifter is its own entity, why don’t we take a look at its relationship with its…‘partners’?

#among us #amongus #among us animation #among us impostor #among us rodamrix #rodamrix #rodamrix parasites #rodamrix shapeshifter #rodamrix fortegreen #rodamrix theory #rodamrix analysis #cw: mentions of death #cw: mentions of abuse

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inchidentally · 10 months ago

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replying to asks abt the Drama today so pls skip if you're fully over that salfgjlagf (and bl 'tricky asks' to not see me respond to stuff like this - but I always put under a cut as well!)

oh my god this is a whole epic jfc and I'm p sure I repeat myself a lot I'm sorry <3

and for anyone who sees the walls of text below and is like pls tl;dr it for me bitch: today is one of multiple examples proving that Lando and Oscar are exceptionally able to maintain perspective and genuine consideration of each other given their situations and their ages. and that while they, like all teammates, will have ups and downs that they are FAR from the kinds of teammates to ever let the bad times linger or fester. I'm not going to be participating in flipping out or overreacting to it when it does inevitably happen but that it hasn’t even happened today! so I just don’t see a point in projecting the rare examples of melodramatic teammates onto Lando and Oscar as teammates. esp today when they both could quite easily have sniped at each other a bit even indirectly and yet they didn't! Lando at the team? absolutely! but like for anyone feeling sad or upset in terms of the landoscar of it all, I'm genuinely baffled ?? bc I'm personally out here impressed yet again at how well they've handled this ?? so yea <3

just to say, if you're someone who truly loves the Epic Highs and Lows of Formula One then good on you and continue having fun! some people live for The Drama and obv I'm not addressing or criticizing that at all!

but since I'm out here being regularly openly insane about landoscar and I've gotten these asks and seen people feeling upset, I def feel like it’s fair that I bring reality and reason into my posts as well being stupid akfgsalfg

so I've grown up with F1 passively in the background of my life (as in on the main TV in my house) and I'm still mostly a fake, but I've picked up some things over the years and one of them is that the average set of teammates aren't the melodrama ones. most teammates who enjoy genuine competitive closeness on the track just tick each other off sometimes but mostly like each other and hang out a bit - overall the average dynamic ranges from mildly indifferent to good buddies.

(brocedes and sebmark are outliers for a reason. and they did NOT just turn bad overnight. that toxic soup was brewing from the very start. but more about that later in this gigantic ass essay)

so once I realized last season that Lando and Oscar genuinely like each other and weren't gonna pop off over everything, my assumption has always been that they would have their tiffs and snipe to the press or avoid each other for periods but then get over it and go back to liking each other again - rinse and repeat! from a driver’s pov it's way more enjoyable and preferable to NOT be fighting w the guy you spend so much time and share a car with.

but !! that didn't happen and hasn't happened! with Lando and Oscar it very quickly went beyond just passively okay w each other - they've made active choices to show respect and fairness and consideration that for me has truly been exceptional.

and while I'm insane about them for narratives and rpf, the not insane part is how these two fit together so beautifully? like, Lando knows and says how his feelings and his brain can just take over sometimes and he struggles - that includes his feelings of anger and resentment. Oscar's primary trait is being calm and being able to be circumspect even under stress. Lando's actually said that he's learned from Oscar remaining calm. then you've got Oscar's 'hearteyes' and genuine admiration of Lando that shows up not in loud PR ways* but in quiet respect and standing back for Lando to shine and giving Lando his full dues. over time, Lando's come to 'hearteyes' right back bc of the respect and ngl genuine affection he feels for Oscar's fairness and respectfulness and his persistence in showing up and being happy for Lando no matter what. like, none of that requires embellishment and it's said by pretty much everyone including each other!

so to me, that means that when they do inevitably have 'moments' at the front of the pack together in future they'll ofc be grumpy w each other or resentful but it'll all be okay once they've cooled off.

but !! that was not today !! my entire day of reblogging is just a nonstop bam bam bam of them looking out for each other in the face of this drama and taking care to not feed the media who have been dying for them to hate each other since day one. Oscar apologizing and if anything being less celebratory today than he was in Monaco for his second place. keeping the post race short and simple** and not going over the top celebrating after the team photo. Lando repeating in his post races that Oscar deserved the win and that he didn't want the issues with team orders to overshadow that and literally reaching out to Oscar to say 'we're okay' right out of the car <3

so yea in the years they are teammates they will definitely have their off days and probably that'll happen at certain points this season - but genuinely ! it should not be taken for granted how mature and considerate and kind they've remained w each other since basically Austria last year ! that counts for a hell of a lot in terms of not assuming they're "over" every time team strategy screws one or both of them, or that they will become different people and suddenly cultivate melodrama.

and sure, anything can happen etc etc but I don’t see a point in just aimlessly waiting for the absolute worst to happen unless you actively want them to hate each other which seems like a huge waste of time but to each their own ldgfjlagfljsfg

guys… things like "why didn't he spray Oscar with champagne first" and "they had a moment where they weren't smiling" or "the cool down room was awkward" "Oscar didn't thank Lando like Lando did in Miami" “Oscar hasn’t liked such and such on instagram” is not only pointless self-torturing it's also all pretty easy to debunk by someone like me who follows a lot of teams and drivers and sees a ton of different sides to these things every weekend:

- as for the comment likes, Oscar hasn't liked everyone's comments that he should have - I did a quick pass and the standouts are he still hasn’t liked the comment from opeightyone (his own brand company!), still hadn't liked the Australian GP comment last time I checked, or Kym Ilman, literally a fellow Aussie who he talks to at every single race and who left a heartfelt comment. we need to give this poor guy a break and not ignore how much he was laughing and smiling with Lando just bc he’s struggling with the alerts on his phone !! (and as always, we have absolutely no way of knowing anymore when we can say how much the driver is doing vs what their sm team is doing. I saw in a story the other day that Lily had stopped doing her usual emoji replies to his posts for a while (she started up again after quali this weekend) and clearly there's been no issues between them so it's safe to say Oscar's sm officially isn't the true measure of his current relationships!)

- Lando and Oscar were already joking and smiling together before the champagne! so why would Lando then get mad and show it by not spraying him first? (EDIT: as an anon pointed out, when Lando runs over to the McLaren team member Oscar is laughing and follows him! so the plan was to drown the poor guy all along lol.) Lando and Lewis have a special bond from long before Oscar and Lewis and McLaren have had a bond even longer. if I hadn't seen ppl be upset about this I wouldn't have thought twice about Lando running to Lewis after having spend the first half the podium chatting to Oscar!

and just a quick side note, Lando had NO problem showing how mad he was before Oscar came into the cool down room when he threw down that hat and got huffy with Lewis when all Lewis did was say how fast the McLaren is! but every time Lando interacted with Oscar, he made sure to keep it together and be happy for him bc as he strenuously made clear in his interviews, his upset was at the team's directions but he didn't want it overshadowing Oscar's well-earned win. so if anything, view Lando rushing over to Lewis as an apology for somewhat biting his head off over a compliment lfgjflgsalf

- the drivers are exhausted and their default mode after a race is to be not smiling, like not even Lando smiled the entire time following his win. add to today that Lando hasn't been happy with second place for a long time and Oscar isn't an effusive guy and it's weird to think they'd be laughing and smiling nonstop.

- cool down rooms are literally always awkward ?? the drivers hate that there are cameras and conversation is always stilted. it’s where they go to … y'know, cool down, not get hyped lol

- Lando thanked Oscar in Miami bc Oscar showed what the car could do w his overtakes, guys. it was VERY sweet but it wasn't like 'thank you for my life Oscar' or even 'thank you for my win'. but even apart from that, Lando has fully taken on the rightful 'I'm the more established F1 star and the face of McLaren and it's my job to let the new guy know when he's done well' even back before he and Oscar had much of a relationship. but… and I’m about to spin off on this topic now… Lando does very well with this sometimes yes, but remember that the majority of his own feeds are also solely focused on himself like Oscar's and like most driver's are! and that he and Oscar both forget to like McLaren's content most of the time!

but also like……….

please let us please remember Oscar has the same rights to putting himself first as every other driver !! he may be remarkably mature and respectful to Lando and McLaren and exceptionally able to get over being set aside or even screwed over, but he's not a worm!

as far as questioning if him not 'thanking' Lando somehow negates his literally non-stop hearteyes-so-blatant-that-casuals-comment-on-it that he has for Lando every single week... guys.. Lily. like I'm positive he'll make a special post or story with her soon but he only said a quick "hi" to Lily after Ted brought her up and then did a generic thank you to everyone LIKE ?? the guy isn't even effusive about his beloved long time gf !! his love language is not in words* !!

but I also feel the need to bring smth up here bc there is a definite lean happening in some quarters of fandom into fully expecting and taking for granted Oscar's patience and maturity and ability to be happy for Lando no matter how much he's hurting or upset for himself. and I've got to raise everyone who says that the fact that Oscar is allowed to be like every other driver including Lando! he is allowed to feel frustrated or not be a perfect saint! in the earlier part of last year, Lando openly said he was uncomfortable being 'the older guy' and he frequently left Oscar in the lurch not knowing where to go or ignored Oscar to talk to or about his previous teammates. when Oscar hadn't been told the correct time for that major meeting shown in DTS, Lando was not hiding feeling fairly smug after Oscar said "is Lando already here?" and in Australia this year, Lando fully forgot to have anything to do with Oscar in what was literally Oscar’s home town and home country race to the point ! that in the podium drivers conference when a reporter brought up if Oscar was bummed about missing out on a podium, Lando stiffly said that he guessed anyone would want a podium on their home race - but he was far from sympathetic!

now before anyone thinks this is me having a go at Lando, I am not. I'm literally reminding the people who are reading too much into Oscar not saying thank you specifically to Lando in what was a much shorter and less exuberant overall race win celebration and post race video than Lando’s win was: it is not a big deal !! it is not some huge thing that Lando would even notice and that Lando has frequently chosen to not include or show gratitude to Oscar at times when we expected him to and !! it's fine because it really is fine !!

but when Oscar is seen to not cover every single base of gratitude and inclusion for Lando, for some fans it's A Problem or A Worry. and for some people, a broader thank you to the team and not specifically to Lando** is reason why Lando should despise Oscar forever and even consider leaving McLaren like the comments sections are insaaaane bro

these are two Normal Guys who are each living their Own Careers and while it's wonderful to enjoy the things that bond them and are special about them, they are still going to be Normal! and they will not view these tiny insignificant moments where they didn’t fully acknowledge the other with any magnitude at all! they are not expecting a level of devotion to each other that certain fans are! Oscar didn’t notice or care that Lando didn’t make anything special out of his home race and their pre-race fan stage was funny and sweet! Lando didn’t notice or even assume that Oscar should thank him specifically for team orders when Lando himself didn’t thank Oscar for team orders!

like I just cannot emphasize enough the importance of separating fun rpf narratives from reality. Lando tried to mess up Carlos’ parking job before the race as a joke to get back at him over the sign the day before - and then Carlos very firmly said that Lando absolutely should have given Oscar his place back and he even commented on one of Oscar’s posts despite not following him. this does not mean Carlos and Lando are beefing or that Carlos is being mean by going out of his way for Oscar! will I run with that single comment for carcar fodder absolutely - but that is fiction! nobody's mad at anybody!

and then there's the things that don't exist in Formula 1: "Oscar shouldn't have accepted the orders" "McLaren are out to get Lando" "Lando already gets too much hate"

- Oscar apologized for his pace and complications and he gave a very subdued little speech over the radio which was very big of him (and very wrong of McLaren to put him in that position) but if someone thinks any driver including Lando would even slightly imply "nah give the win to my teammate not me" then they’re categorically living on another plane of stan-ism that I can't comprehend. Lando literally said multiple times after this race how he has been the one to benefit from strategy working in his favor - both by McLaren and other teams. he's many many times made a cheeky face or made a joke when he's gotten away with something that fans of a rival driver or team were rightfully furious about. and if a person thinks it was mean when some ppl criticized the role that serendipity played in Miami then maybe that same person shouldn't start biting chunks out of Oscar about the same thing idk !!

Lando repeatedly said how much Oscar has done for him and if his Oscar-hating stans choose to think he's wrong or lying then idk !! he's being mature and fair so like, live n learn from your idol !

and can I just echo everyone saying 'please stop comparing this to brocedes or sebmark' or honestly even charlos? I'm doing bullet lists apparently so I'll do another one lafgljsafgsa

- brocedes is entirely due to their complicated and abnormally intimate lifelong history together leading up to F1. they were already Not Normal Friends and that made for the tinderbox that was their F1 careers together. literally they were destined to have to rupture that level of intimacy if they weren't going to just like get married to each other. they always needed to turn that relationship into something milder and less intense and it would always have exploded no matter what adult lives they had. F1 just made the explosion more violent and public. there’s truly no comparing them with anyone else.

- Oscar bears no resemblance to Mark and Lando bears no resemblance to Seb. Seb as he was in his heyday was... not shy or bashful about being a madman. sebmark never once looked like landoscar and it wasn't this huge revelation that that relationship would end up where it did !!

- Charles and Carlos have a negligible career/experience gap compared to Lando and Oscar and their temperaments are as much primed for friction as Lando and Oscar's are complimentary to each other. not to like 'they're so continental!' charlos but like, their already passionate natures got thrown into a rolling boil of Italian heritage racing and it's why the whole love/hate being sides of the same coin thing always happens with them. their families are even houses alike in dignity etc etc. it's Pure Drama and Intensity and always has been, both good and bad. they’re as terrible at using PR to smooth things over as landoscar are at not even bothering with PR. when Charles and Carlos are good together they’re passionately all over each other and when they’re mad at each other it’s messy and all over the press like a warring celebrity couple. Lando and Oscar are still delicately pawing at their relationship to know what it is and they still shyly touch as if seeking permission. Lando and Oscar are so not PR friendly that even Netflix gave up on them as a narrative entirely. Charles and Carlos are Shakespeare. Lando and Oscar are Jane Austen. Ferrari is the Capulet/Montague pride before the fall. McLaren is Mrs. Bennett trying to social climb using her daughters as bait.

as someone who follows blogs for multiple diff teams and drivers, trust me I see a lot of "my opinion of him is gone forever after this!!!" about something their own fave driver did even just a few races ago and absolutely will do again. same with "the team is destroying him and favoring his teammate!" like I straight up will see that said by each teammate's fanbase of the same team about the same race. this happens at different times throughout the season in every single team I follow - it even happened w Williams of all teams (tho so far that's just the once).

I'm a fake so obv I'm not going to weigh in myself but my cousins and their friends who watch F1 on the app at my house - and who aren't represented ethnically by any driver or team so they don't have bias - always have a much more calm and nuanced take. they assume every driver is out for themselves and by that very fact alone, teams have to take sides when the gap closes. and !! that millionaires doing an elite sport aren't experiencing mental distress over this sport the way common people experience distress over real life !! they go and bury their "woes" in extravagant luxury and an entire army of hugely biased family, supporters and fanbases all of whom think said driver deserves everything.

and that it takes truly heinous betrayal or outright evil to make these guys hate each other with any serious level of depth bc they all know they're The Selfish Asshole just as easily as the other guy.

so I personally trust their takes on things and it's probably why I've always assumed Lando and Oscar would be Normal and have their little tiffs like everyone else does. bc it's rule one of making it to this level of the sport that you have to think selfishly. straight up I'm astounded at how quickly they've both been able to shake that 'visors down' mentality that Andrea referenced in the post race video and see the bigger picture and not be The Asshole to each other.

and overall I don’t mind my dash being a warzone of wild accusations immediately after a race bc everyone usually calms down.

but there are certain things I just do not want on my dash and it's actually not related to what driver a person hates or not....

because while it's silly to see any of these privileged little princes as A Victim and Would Never Do That To Their Teammate (which would honestly get you laughed at by said driver) it's pretty common biased fan behavior. even tho Lando literally kept reminding people that Oscar's swallowed his own pride over things for Lando's benefit many times and that he (Lando) has been on the receiving end of podiums that came from strategies working in his favor (McLaren’s and that of other teams).

and like the idea that Oscar is now some heinous human being bc he's behaving like every other driver including Lando by Lando's own admission is hysterical. the idea that F1 teams are ever in any way benevolent kindly forces or that F1 drivers have anything akin to 'selflessness' over race wins is hysterical.

but where I draw a line is stanning for men in this sport so hard to the point of insane amounts of agonized doomposting and biased venomous rage. sorry but most of us don't want our precious time wasted agonizing over which self-confessed selfish millionaire in a sport founded on and maintained by pure elitism is feeling So Bad and So Sad! that he runs off to be comforted by a beautiful woman/women and adoring family and coddling hangers-on and legions of worshiping, wholly biased fans and millions of dollars on gigantic yachts because the absurdly unnecessary sport he gets to do isn't "looking after him well enough" or "prioritizing his happiness" !!!!??????

like fuck I'm a callous bitch ig but I'm not feeling an ounce of genuine upset whenever one of these men experiences a level of "my sport makes me sad". "oh but it's all they've known !! it's all relative !! money and privilege don’t equal happiness and privileged men suffer too !!" oh stfu no it doesn't and no they're not like stockholm syndrom victims and if they're so unhappy then they can put on their big boy boots and take their money and go fucking do something else holy SHITTTTT

am I not here for allowing any portion of my human empathy to go to a fuuucCKING F1 driver jeeeeeeesusss. all of these men fully have the potential to get metoo’d or exposed about smth bc they're all capable of doing awful things by the time they're in F2 -male pro athletes are NOT objectively safe spaces to hang human morality or to assign automatic grace and good intent - let alone bleed pain or feel sadness for their race results or issues with their teams.

there is no acceptable moral relativity for me and these men and this sport are only of interest to me as a hyperfixation that gives me enjoyment in the form of narratives and a very specific, surface degree of enjoyment.

it’s fine if Lando or Oscar feel their feelings of frustration or anger etc but no way in hell am I going to feel remotely sad for them ??? they’re fine ?? there are genuinely sad things in my life and in the world and millionaires wanting trophies and points isn’t among them !! I’m not entwining my day-to-day happiness in any way with what they get up to and I’ll take what I can enjoy from them and ignore everything else.

and to wrap up this epic which I’m only indulging in bc I do feel like my blog sometimes seems like I’m pushing my own silly narratives on others and genuinely I’m not intending to - most of the reason I actually got drawn to landoscar and wanted to engage in fandom about them is precisely because their real life non-rpf dynamic is so unusually mature and considerate and not toxic or like, at all even overtly masculine. yea I originally got drawn into f1blr for the usual bromance rpf types like carland0 and dand0 etc but I didn’t rly care enough to engage in any way.

but I think this is why I know that the ppl wanting Lando and Oscar to become this insane toxic mess are going to keep raging with disappointment - kind of like how I knew Lando and Max would be perfect again after just a few days while so many ppl hoped it was the start of some battle royale to last years that would end their close friendship. and why I knew Logan and Alex would end up with a genuine, heartfelt friendship when so many ppl assumed Alex would see Logan as one foot out the door and just wait to bond with a more worthy teammate. now we’ve got Alex saying how he and Lily casually talk about Logan for no reason at all and their friendship surviving Alex being given Logan’s car <3

I genuinely don’t bullshit myself into enjoying dynamics unless they feel real - so whatever friction I ever sense between Lando and Oscar as a result of them pushing each other to be the best they can be and helping to bring McLaren from the back of the field to WCC contender, isn’t at odds with them being gentle and unusually private and earnestly aware of each other. bromances were always Lando’s PR insurance with his other two teammates - a nice bandaid to cover moments where cracks showed or Lando didn’t hide his emotions enough. it’s something a lot of teammates use for the same purpose. but Lando and Oscar deciding to forgo that and have their little privacy door to shut out everyone else but each other from their drivers rooms, and how they will be doing interviews and then get distracted talking to each other over things that only interest them, and traveling and hanging out together without giving McLaren PR any material to use… like that’s a lovely, tender little unpretentious narrative to enjoy. watching them tiptoe so cautiously around an almighty cockup on McLaren’s pitwall side and Lando trying to pull himself up out of murky defeat for Oscar and Oscar deciding to celebrate so modestly because what a mess that ending was for them both.

like I just don’t see a need for trying to invent ways to be unhappy or miserable or fabricate a doomed anything when they’re both still so sweet <3 <3 (and honestly it’s the same old tune of McLaren’s strategy needing a swift smack around the head)

tysm babe and I hope this one helped as well <3<3

#inchreplies #tricky asks #mamma mia atsa gigantic ass text post #inchidentallyanessay

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