#got to hear that funny feeling AND the chicken in person

[standupcomedyhistorian]

Um…so this happened 👀

Still can’t believe it tbh…

Daniel Sloss was an absolute GEM and took photos with everyone who stayed after his amazing performance of Can't at Town Hall that opened the New York Comedy Festival this year. SO much fun, and he signed my copy of his book! 🥰

My trip was incredible, the Inside cabaret show at 54 Below was a BLAST (I had on disco ball jewelry courtesy of @ilickedthegardenwall), and @nicoleanell couldn't have been a more gracious host.

We even went to the Brooklyn Cat Cafe (and I got a beautiful turquoise shirt)! 💗

Lots to come on my website, especially about meeting Sloss in person, and keep it here for more comedy fun! ✌��🐔

[savage-rhi]

Fuchsia? 😂

[mcflymemes]

CHALLENGERS (2024) PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue, adjust as necessary.

who says i want somebody to be in love with me?

i don't want to fuck you to prove a point.

fuck me because you want to.

are you gonna do it or not?

tastes even better than it looks.

i just told you i missed you.

i really want to kiss you right now, but i'm worried that if i try, you'll think i'm the worst friend in the world.

you know, it hurts me sometimes how little you believe in yourself.

decimate that little bitch.

let's be honest, you gotta feel bad for the kid.

you're not a spring chicken anymore.

dude. he's a pancake. you're gonna flatten him.

how's this feeling?

we're ready for you.

so obviously this isn't the result you wanted today.

you choked.

i don't want you to embarrass yourself.

i'm just a little rusty. it's a confidence thing.

get your fucking confidence back. i can't do it for you.

i'm so sick of you using this as an excuse to have a fucking meltdown.

you said we could watch a movie.

you're evil.

i'm gonna quiz you on it tomorrow.

sir, i don't know who you are.

i don't think we have much more to talk about.

i haven't spoken to you in five years.

i was just taking a little nap.

move, or i'm calling the cops.

you were really something back then, huh?

we always talked about how amazing it would be to win this together.

i'm a crazy person.

any predictions about how that's going to go?

can you do me a favor? can you not, like... demolish me tomorrow?

shut the fuck up.

if it matters to you so much, i can just give it to you.

i need it to look like i really beat you.

don't guilt me with your dying grandmother.

she's the hottest woman i've ever seen.

you were... fucking incredible.

baby, we've got to get going.

i'm not going to that party.

are you that threatened by me?

we can't both just go in there, dicks swinging.

i'd let her fuck me with a racket.

hey, do you smoke?

of course they will remember you.

see, that's your problem. you think you're like an artist or something.

you just want to win because you love it when people tell you how talented you are.

are you on facebook?

i told you tennis was boring.

you just got this crazy look on your face.

are you on a date?

i don't kiss and tell.

why did you want to have dinner with me?

i think you might be the worst friend in the world.

i didn't know you were so concerned about my feelings.

of course you still have a thing for her.

we just had what i'm assuming is the best sex of our lives.

i fucked your brains out?

what do you think you need? a cheerleader? a fuck buddy? a girlfriend?

you're talented, you're charming, and you've got a big dick.

excuse me for inconveniencing you.

don't expect to sleep here tonight.

stop going easy on me.

i'll be whatever you need me to be. i'll fuck off if you want me to.

i need you here, actually.

you're referring to when i declared my love for you.

you're not in love with me anymore?

i've been dreaming about this for five years.

i'm gonna propose something to you, and it's gonna make you angry. it's gonna make you very angry. but you have to hear me out, okay?

i'm finally ready to listen to you.

how dare you fucking ask me that.

do you think it's cute what you're doing? do you think it's funny?

that's the stupidest fucking thing i've ever heard.

i've always wanted you.

you didn't do anything to me. i did it all to myself.

i think i've reached the limit of my willingness to have this conversation with you.

do you understand how embarrassing it is that you're here?

you've never beaten me.

tell me it doesn't matter.

will you just hold me?

i'm not here to fuck you.

i miss watching you play. you were so beautiful.

[luffyvace]

Undertaker wants to Court you! ~(Headcanons)~

Can’t wait for the public school arc who’s with me?!

this dude is so silly 🗿 enjoy some hcs of this ridiculous little man

Undertaker is funny. He uses that to his advantage when courting. Well, it actually depends on what type of humor you have- most of his are usually those jokes that are kinda funny but at the same time your like ‘That’s outta pocket! 🤦‍♀️😑😂’ yk?

he always wants to hear jokes. He asks you randomly and no matter what type he laughs at them. Rude humor? Hilarious! Dad jokes? That one really tickled his fancy! 😂 why did the chicken cross the road?? To get to the other side? 🤣🤣💥

now usually I feel he has a specific sense of humor but with you everything’s just kinda funny. It’s that moment when your with someone who you can laugh at the most unfunniest stuff ever and still be cackling at it anyway 😭💕

he’s always telling them as well. Might I say, at the worst times 😏 you just watched someone run over a stray animal? Oh he’s got a joke for that hear him out- LIKE BRO 😭⁉️

HES THE TYPE OF GUY WHO MAKE YOU LAUGH BEFORE EVEN TELLING YOU THE JOKE BECAUSE YOU KNOW ITS GONNA BE STUPID 👍

Let’s also talk about hiiiis…! weird side! (I’m saying ‘side’ like he’s isn’t always weird..) This is pretty much him just being a creep? Ish? Like that scene where he was in the barrel licking salt…🤨 or how he’s always in coffins (which tbh seems more normal for a grim reaper but still..) either way this dudes’ real weird and he doesn’t tone it down, even around you despite the fact that it may or may not (you decide) push you away

He’s a very mysterious dude, so how ever you met him I guarantee it was eerie and somewhat strange. Therefore you were likely intrigued by him, so when you went on your first date it was, well, very interesting! There’s so many layers to unravel with this guy! Ngl even now you’ve only semi unraveled this incomprehensible man but at the least you do learn more as you get to know him :P

his past is….complicated is an understatement- gimme a new word.

literally no one but him knows his full past all the way up to this very day. Looks like no one has stuck around long enough! Since you will I guess you’ll be the first to figure it out! ;)

now I’ll say this, he won’t sit down and just tell you everything, no. That won’t be any fun! 😄 you’ll have to have the intelligent to sit down and decode it piece by piece with the tidbits of information he gives you randomly. Yes! It’s going to be comical seeing you try and put this whole thing-a-ba-jig together! (^_−)−☆ 🤣

his nonjudgmental yet opinionated personality is scary if you don’t like folk who come off too strong. Or if your sensitive- 😄 he’s a ‘tell-it-like-it-is-and-I-don’t-give-a-ship’ type of guy. Buuuut! If your similar to him in that sense you’ll probably understand him a lot more. Him being nonjudgemental is perfect for peeps of all types so that’s a plus!! 💗

ranting about his fascination with humans during your dates comes with the package! ☝️He just does, it’s always one of his topics, and ngl it’s nothing boring either, he’s got quite a few stories to tell with even more jokes in between, which is sure to make for a lovely date <3 plus at some point all species in black butler experienced being a human, and idk about y’all but the study of human nature, psychology and how the brain works is a very interesting thing for me! I’d definitely be able to keep a conversation like that up for some time, me personally.

He puts up a front of a funny weird guy when there’s more to him if you read between the lines. Which, don’t get me wrong that certainly is a part of the real him, he just makes sure to highlight it so you don’t look at the rest 😃👌

he’s a real creepy fellow..even towards you 😭 (on purpose) and whether he’s trying to court you or not there’s no escaping it- if it starts to push you away he’ll find a way to incorporate laughter into it to make it more appealing, but no, he won’t change his ways 😭

WHY DOESN’T HE WASH HIS HAIRRRR

(yes it’s canon 😞)

you force him to wash his hair 😘💋 pls he needs it. or at least do it with him so it’s more fun. It’ll probably be easier to convince him that way

Time to talk about his work as a grim reaper!!! :3 (retired anyway) if you are reaper you get to follow each other around doing tasks! human? You both go your separate ways to work, whatever that may be. A demon? The same as a human really! Just this time you might have a contract with somebody. Buttttt!! A perk of all three is getting to work in the funeral parlor with him ;3 it’s a good disguise if your a demon/reaper and also some good quality time for you and your reaper 😘 (i mean, I hope you don’t mind morbid stuff cuz he’s a mortician after all 😅)

his little Russian roulette with the phantomhives 🕺 (LOL) no seriously I have no clue what type of relationship he has with them besides the fact that he serves them for the price of top notch laughter 🧑‍🍳💋 but you might! I’d say he’s more willing to let you in then anyone if he’s trying to court you! That obviously means he wants to trust you with his heart! So yeah! You likely know a thing or two—more about Ciel than Vincent but any info will do at this point 😭 it’s a start right? 🤷‍♀️

whenever Ciel comes over you get to witness him or Sebastian try to make undertaker laugh, it’s not like they can kick you out, you work there! Perks 😏 You can pretty much tell the one time Ciel made him laugh himself it was just a whole bunch of tomfoolery 😂 (why did it take so long⁉️😭) Sebastian is also able to make undertaker laugh really hard immediately so I wonder what he does 🤪 guess you’ll get to see! 😋

undertaker opening up to you is a process that requires patience. And don’t be pushy!! I mean this for your sake, by the way. You’ll drive yourself crazy since you’ll never get an answer that’s not riddles or straight up jokes. 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️

yeah overall his way of courting is really strange but when it comes to making things official he’s poetically blunt. The type of blunt where you have to process for a second like ‘wait what does that mean- oh. OH-’

Anyway I’m gonna talk about the actual dates now cuz I’ve pretty much just been mentioning the madness that comes with it this entire time :3 and yes as I said that’s a way of courting to him. He’s weird and blunt but doesn’t wanna do things the traditional way. So getting you involved in his antics is his way of saying ‘hey i like ya and I want ya to stick around’. And jokes. HAHAHAH 😂

dates with undertaker normally consists of tea, jokes, human psychology and gossip 🗿 ever since I saw ciel in wonderland I couldn’t get over the fact that undertaker was at a tea party and now I headcanons him to like tea LOLOLOL! I mean I know that’s how the plot goes in the actual slice movie and he was just playing the role of the character but, think about it—don’t it kinda fit???? Like?? Okok Hear me out hear me out- imagine sipping on some tea with Undertaker and gossiping on the latest drama from the underworld, ‘I heard a rare case is happening where blah blah blah *giggle* *giggle* chatter chatter..’ ETC! like idk how to explain it but do you see the vision???

I can also see him doing that dramatic anime thing where they sip they’re drink majestically then say something intelligent sounding (☝️🤓) (about psychology, for him) as the wind blows 😂😂 YK? LOLL even worse if your in a outside background and his eyes shows (cuz the character who never shows they’re eyes always show them when they get serious 🤣)

i love how shameless this guy is

why don’t we know this guys’ real name⁉️ Can’t even give him a nickname because ‘undertaker’ isn’t nickname material!! What am I supposed to call him???? Taker’ ⁉️😭🗿

ENJOY @doudouma HERE’S YOUR SURPRISE~ 🤗

[artemismoorea03]

DP x DC Prompt: I Couldn't Just Let Him Die

So one thing I don't think is touched on enough is the fact that Danny never wanted to be a hero. Like, yeah, we all know he didn't want o be a hero and he makes a joke about it but when we actually think about it this was a life he choose because nobody else was there to help. The main reason?

He didn't want people to get hurt.

Something Batman would relate to.

Now, while I love the idea of Danny absolutely beating the shit out of Joker or any villain who absolutely deserves to have their shit rocked by a kid who is only 5'5" and weighs at most 120 pounds, when we actually think about Danny's character what's more likely? Again, no hate to any of the people who do those fics, keep it up, I love seeing Joker get his just deserts.

But hear me out.

Warnings for fighting, violence, and DC typical weapons.

There was a new meta in Gotham and he was driving Bruce crazy. This kid showed up out of the blue with absolutely no information on him anywhere online or otherwise with tech so outdated not even Oracle could hack it. The only thing Bruce knew about the kid was that he called himself 'Phantom' and that he was a teenager around 14 years old.

Other than that the kid had been a pain in the ass.

Muggings? Phantom took care of it by saving the person then lecturing the person until a Bat or police showed up then literally vanished.

Fires? Phantom would fly in and out of burning buildings repeatedly with no care for his own safety. No mask, no fire protection, nothing but the thin suit he wore.

Kidnappings? Don't worry, Phantom had it handled long before Batman could even get the call to help! EVEN WHEN IT WAS ONE OF HIS OWN KIDS WHO GOT KIDNAPPED!

Granted, Phantom never got in the way of a fight but the amount of evidence that was lost due to what he was doing and how he was doing it was inconvenient. Fingerprints got wiped, evidence of what started fires were covered in an unmeltable ice, kidnappers took off the second their captive was freed and were practically untraceable after that.

It wasn't until a massive Arkham breakout that he actually got to properly meet the kid. Every prisoner had broken out and the city plunged into madness as heroes ran around like chickens with their heads cut off. Villains against heroes, criminals verse vigilantes, villains verses criminals - it was a madhouse.

Batman could hardly keep track of it all but when one of Penguin's men threw a bomb into a crowd and it landed near Joker's feet there was a long silence. It was like the city had fallen silent all around him as Batman tried to get to the bomb.

Joker was a villain.

Joker had hurt his family, killed millions of innocents including his own son, but he was sick. He didn't deserve to die.

Apparently Phantom agreed because he flew faster than Batman could track him shoving Joker away from the bomb before encasing the bomb in ice.

"Hey! What's the big idea shovin' me, bub?!" Joker said, seemingly forgetting about the bomb that was still in the kids hand. Joker walked right up to Phantom, glaring down at the shorter male who just looked at him. "Think you're some kind of hero?!"

Phantom blinked, "I feel like answering that is a trap."

Joker grabbed Phantom by the front of his shirt, "A funny guy, huh? Think you can out joke the Joker?"

"Again. That feels like a trap. I'm not trying to do anything, Clowny. But I wasn't about to let you die."

Joker glared, "Why?"

Phantom slipped out of Joker's hands somehow, much to Joker's confusion. "Because that's not who I am. Criminal or not, I'm not going to let you die if I can protect you."

"Who says I need protection?"

Phantom held up the bomb again with a deadpan look. "Lucky guess." He said, then suddenly noticed something to his right. "Oh, gotta go. Later Clowny."

"IT'S JOKER!" Joker shouted after Phantom as he flew away. "Batman! Teach your baby bats some manners!"

"He's not mine, Joker." Batman said, marching over, grabbing Joker's wrists and cuffing them behind his back.

Not yet anyway. But with a mentality like that... maybe this pain in the ass could learn a thing or two from a Bat.

[fiber-optic-alligator]

For the one word prompts: caught?

For you, anon, you get Rodimus being a well-intentioned asshole! How fun!

WARNING: THIS STORY INCLUDES SAFE VORE. THIS THIS IS SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE, THEN PLEASE DO NOT READ.

The night is dark, and you are alone. Sitting at the bar, voices and music mingle together and create a despondent melody which does nothing to ease your aching heart. You stare into the drink you are nursing; the amber liquid makes your lip curl with a grimace. Shaking your head, you push it away.

The bar is lively, yet lonely. You aren’t the only one here who is by themselves, yet the company of solitude isn’t one you wished for or anticipated. Gnawing resentment hollows out your gut. This is the last time you ever trust one of those stupid matchmaking apps. Stood up on the fifth date, and you don’t even know what you’ve done wrong. Is it your clothes? Does your breath smell? What about your hair? Is your personality shitty? You’ve spiraled through the panic and sadness, but now is time for the stage of dull anger. If they didn’t want to be with you, they at least could have told you properly. It’s a whole lot better than being completely left in the unknown.

Someone slides up into the stool next to you. No mind is paid on your part until they speak. “Rough night, huh?”

You lift your eyes to the man and take him in. He’s slouched forward with his arms crossed on the counter, head lowered a bit so he can see your face. His hair is held up by an orange headband, and he has a massive black flame tattoo rippling down his right arm. His eyes are curious and kind. His smile, though soft and without teeth, somehow dazzles you. He’s sort of dressed like he’s ready to go to an 80’s-themed Halloween party…but you can’t deny that he is quite handsome.

You huff and look back at your drink. “I’ll say.”

“It’s fine.” The man’s voice is smooth, practiced. You have a feeling he’s spoken to others in this exact same scenario before. “Plenty of people here are goin’ through it. But you…you seem more defeated than upset.”

You don’t appreciate this stranger butting into your private life while you’re wallowing in your misery. Shooting him a glare, you spit venom from your lips. “I didn’t ask for your pity, and I certainly don’t want it. Who even are you, and why the hell are you trying to talk to me?”

He holds up his hands placatingly. “Woah, woah. I’m not trying to start anything, if that’s what you’re worried about. I just…I saw you, alright? I saw you, and you looked…really down. Kinda tugged at my sparkstrings-uh, heartstrings-to see someone so sad like this. I thought…maybe I can help cheer you up.”

You give him an incredulous look. “Are you trying to hit on me by telling me you’re sad to see me alone at a bar?”

“What? No! Did you not hear a word I just said? You look like you could use some company, that’s all!”

“Well, I don’t want company. I want to be alone.” Your voice cracks a little. I feel like I’ll be alone for the rest of my life.

The man is silent, searching your features with those soulful auburn eyes. His voice is nearly a whisper. “Date chickened out on you?”

“...I guess it’s pretty apparent, isn’t it?”

“Not to be an asshole, but I kinda guess that’s the main reason why I see miserable people drinking alone at a bar.”

You laugh. It’s not a bitter sound, yet it isn’t totally happy either. It’s simply a sign of minor relief to be laughing at all. To feel your heart do that funny little jump that comes with being around someone who doesn’t make you feel totally lost. Despite only having met him a few minutes ago, this man has a charismatic aura about him that naturally pulls you in.

He grins. “Look at that. I got a laugh outta you. That’s a good start. Why don’t you tell me what’s going on?”

“I don’t tend to reveal just anything to strangers I’ve only known for less than 24 hours,” you reply.

“Touché. So why don’t we become more than strangers? I believe the term is…acquiescence?”

“Acquaintance.”

“Ah, right.” He rubs the back of his neck, sheepish. “Sorry. English…isn’t my first language. Anyway, what’s your name?”

“Y/N,” you answer. “What’s yours?”

Panic crosses his face fleetingly. “Um…m-my friends call me…Roddy.”

“Roddy?” You raise an eyebrow. “That’s…interesting.”

“I know, I know, not ideal by people's terms. But it’s just what stuck.” He shrugs. “I like your name better. It’s pretty.”

“You think so?” you ask, unable to hide a genuine smile.

He nods. You are caught in his gaze, and there’s something distinctly captivating. His eyes make you want to believe every word he says. “Why would I lie? It’s a whole lot better than ‘Roddy.’ It’s…nice. I like saying it.”

“I’d hope you’d know better than to try and seduce someone who just got their heart broken.”

“Who says I’m trying to seduce you? Maybe I’m just trying to be your friend.” He laughs, then scoots towards you and dips his head down to peer at you through his lashes. “What, do you think I’m trying to seduce you?”

There it is. You know you’ve lost this battle. “God,” you grumble, ducking away to hide how red your cheeks are. “You are incorrigible.”

“C’mon, it’s making you feel better! You need to get your mind off what happened, right? Hanging out with a friend is exactly how to solve the problem!”

“We aren’t friends. We literally just met.”

He pauses and pouts, leaning back and crossing his arms. You think he almost looks hurt by your claim. “Don’t be like that. We could be friends. This is how humans get to know each other, right? Talking and laughing and bonding?”

You wrinkle your nose in a short chuckle. This guy has the weirdest ways of talking, but you don’t really mind it. You find it endearing. “All of that takes time. I’m not going to trust you instantly. Relationships always need to grow, platonic or not.”

He’s listening with a serious expression. He goes along with what you say, and you genuinely think he’s listening to you. When you’re done, he nods. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to come on so forwardly, if I did. I…I’d like to be your friend. You seem like you could use one right now. And…I’m here to find one, too.”

“Finding friends in a bar? Are you sure that’s a good idea?” you ask.

He smiles. “I found you, didn’t I? You fit the bill. I can tell you’re kind…sweet. I think we’d be really good friends.” He reaches forward and brushes his fingers against the top of your hand. Something strange happens; there’s a jolt of static that makes your skin tingle, and a shiver goes down your spine. For a moment, your vision seems to swim, and you think you see flashes of red and orange and Roddy’s eyes turning a bright, alien blue. You blink, disoriented, shaking your head in a vain attempt to clear the sudden fog clouding your mind.

“So, what do you think?” Roddy asks, silky smooth. “Will you let me keep you?”

“Keep me…?” you echo.

“Keep as in…befriend. I want to show you there’s more to this universe than the sadness you’re experiencing. This world…Earth…is so small. Wonderful, but…tiny compared to what else is out there. So much to see, so much to do. So much to find. And guess what? I’m gonna find it all. You wanna come with me?”

“You’re confusing me,” you whisper. “I don’t know what you mean.”

He interlocks his fingers with yours. “Let me show you.”

He leads you out the back door into the bar’s parking lot. You feel like you are walking through a daze. You don’t know what’s happening to you, but you want to put your trust in this man. The way he looks back and gives you such a radiant grin, like the sun itself shining upon you, melts your heart.

In the back of the lot, a car awaits. It looks…retro, like him. Sleek, yet exceedingly loud, it’s some sort of muscle car with a host of red, orange, and yellow. Flame decals are painted across the hood. As the two of you draw closer, the lights turn on and the engine rumbles, growling with a pulse that runs through your bones and makes your heart stutter.

Something feels wrong.

It didn’t before. Roddy exudes no sense of danger. Yet this car…it’s off. Not normal. Alarm bells begin going off in your brain. Your feet drag you to a halt.

Roddy gives you an inquisitive look. “What’s wrong?”

You can’t take your eyes off of the car. “I…I don’t want to go near that thing.”

He winces, worrying at his bottom lip as he glances at the car with a concerning amount of confliction. He squeezes your hand.

“It’ll be okay,” he says. And then, his entire body ripples with a burst of static, and he disappears.

You don’t know what’s happened. Staring at your hand, you blink in shock. You can still feel the warmth of the man’s fingers pressed between yours. Was…was he even there at all? Did you imagine it? No, you couldn’t have. The car is still there. What the hell is going on?!

The car moves.

An alien sound emits from it as you watch it begin to shift in on itself before your very eyes. The mass of metal expands and grows, forming a pair of arms and legs, a torso twisting and snapping into place, massive shoulder blades heaving upward with a head rising up with sharp finials extending like dragon horns. Twin pairs of bright cyan optics open and immediately focus on you. You feel your heart drop straight into the pit of your stomach. It’s a robot. A car-turned-robot. You think you might have ingested too much alcohol, but the way the robot’s body whirs with the smooth sound of machinery as it takes a step towards you, the way you can feel the vibration of its feet hitting the pavement is so, so real, you know this is happening. This isn’t a hallucination.

You still don’t know where Roddy went.

The robot makes a purring noise, squatting down and extending a hand. Panic rips through you, and you stumble back, avoiding the reaching fingers. “No!” you shriek. “Stop! Don’t!”

It pauses and frowns, making a low whining noise. It shuffles closer and gestures for you to get closer. You wish to do no such thing; you want to get as far away from this monster as possible. What does it want with you? To kill you? Eat you? No, robots can’t eat. Is it going to abduct you?

Letting out a huff of exhaust, the robot’s eyes narrow resolvingly. It inches closer, and you continue to move back. There is nowhere to go. You can’t make a run for it. It’s faster. You can tell. There is no chance of escaping.

Your eyes flash to the bar’s back door. Not thinking about the possible consequences, you act only upon pure, desperate instinct. Like a deer bolting from a wolf, you whirl and pelt for the door, pushing every ounce of strength into your legs to propel yourself as quickly as possible. Get away. You need to get away.

You aren’t fast enough.

The robot slams its hand down on top of you. The breath is knocked from your lungs as metal presses you into the pavement. Fingers tightly cage you in, pinning your arms to your sides. Everything spins when you are lifted into the air, slowly, gradually. You cry out and struggle with all of your might, screaming bloody murder at the thing. “No! No! Stop! Stop it! Put me down!”

The robot warbles loudly. Is…Is this fucking thing laughing at you?

Well, all of your bravado goes out the door when it brings you close to its face. Bright optics study you with unsubdued excitement while huge metallic lips part. It grins triumphantly, making a multitude of loud purrs and hums while it turns you side to side like you’re some sort of exotic creature. Fear grips you; there’s so much terror in your soul, you can barely breathe. Too much. This is too much for one night. It’s been tumultuous, and now there’s a giant robot holding you and you might die, you might be-

The robot’s mouth opens wider. There’s a blue pulse deep within it that is the same color as its eyes. You see teeth bigger than your head loom closer as it draws you near, segmented tongue reaching to meet you.

Ah. So you’re going to be eaten, then.

Your scream is cut off when the robot carefully tosses you in. Jaws slam shut and artificial saliva soaks you as you are turned over and tasted again and again and again. Your mind reels with the overstimulation. Everything is happening at once and your brain isn’t keeping up with it. And when you feel the robot tilt its head back and begin pushing you backwards towards its awaiting throat, you can only think of one thing: doom.

Your fingers dig into the plush tongue, searching for any hold that will prevent you from going down. But it is to no avail; the robot simply raises the unbelievable muscle and gives you one last coaxing nudge. With a shriek, you are caught. The throat bobs and gives out a squelching glk. Blue light completely envelops you as you are squeezed and kneaded at all angles. It’s a long journey, one you are hardly conscious of since you nearly pass out from your terror. And when you make it to your final destination, there is no letting up in the embrace. Walls of muscle made out of strange, squishy cables filled with pumping pink liquid force you to sink into their warmth. By god, you are so warm. The robot’s stomach gurgles happily, giving you long repetitive squeezes. You aren’t in any pain. But you are exhausted from the mental and physical strain being eaten alive has exposed you to.

Lying on your stomach, you try to push yourself up in order to fight. The stomach senses this and hugs you even tighter. Your arms shake with fatigue, and you fall back down into the puddle of saliva you landed in. There’s no use fighting. You can’t get out.

Somewhere above you, the robot is purring. A steady hand presses against you from the outside and begins lightly massaging your little form. You let out a weak groan that is meant to be words; perhaps a plea for mercy, or maybe a string of curses. Whatever the intention might be, you don’t have the energy to properly form it. Right now, all you want to do is sleep.

So you do. You are out like a light, pink being the last thing you see. All the while, Roddy’s words repeat themselves to you, over and over and over again. “Will you let me keep you?”

It seems he’s decided not to give you a choice.

[skylarsblue]

this isn’t really a request or anythin’, just a thought. 141 havin to deal with a southern team member who only gets progressively more accented the more they get mad.

100% projecting here

pretty unaccented, American, whatever —> ✨ anger ✨ —> Memphis called they want their “oo-ol” back (translation: oil).

i have no idea if they’d be annoyed, charmed, or just confused.

✦141 + Los Vaqueros With A Southern!Teammate✦

(My first C.o.D request and it's for pEOPLE LIKE MEEEE, southern traassh! This my shit. Fair warning, I've never played one of these games cause I don't have a console, so if they're ooc, please tell me how I can improve writing them!)

✦Random headcanons, Southern slang, GN!Reader, Race neutral as well but American, implied to be Oklahoma/Texas style southern, aggressive cursing because I have the mouth of a sailor, a bit of Google Translated Spanish(forgive me), Rudy doesn't have a color cause I ran out I'm so sorry precious boy✦

✧Simon Riley✧

He's not real fond of Americans, admittedly. He's got a little voice in the back of his head that automatically associates Americans with betrayal, but he'll keep quiet.

He cringes at your accent at first. He's not fond of Americans, even less so of most American accents. It's a very thick drawl and after being in the team for a while, he'll tease you about it, telling you to "Speak English" like he does with Soap.

He shuts up when you bring up his Manchester accent being illegible sometimes. It's all in good fun though!

After proving you're trustworthy, he'll basically call you his "special American", to show you're an exception. He will never stop poking fun at you though, just as you do to him. Particularly when you say something intensely American.

"Look at her ass, out here pitchin' a bitch fit with a tail on it." "...What in the hell is that even supposed to mean?"

He'll give you one thing, you treat beef well, which he appreciates. Given he used to be a butcher's apprentice. Americans from the southern states know how to make a hamburger and we know how to cook a steak, that's like...the one thing we can brag about.

If you're like me and you dunk on your own country, he thinks those moments are really funny. Especially when you sound so American.

He probably enjoys you being angry the most. He loves it so much, he thinks it's extremely entertaining. Especially if you're a more small, non-intimidating person on the surface.

"Fuck off! Out here makin' a damn mess of the place, runnin' around like a chicken with its head cut off, wrecking my shit! I outta whoop yer ass!" "Should we step in?" "No no, let it go on a little longer..."

Probably tries to make your call sign something heavily American stereotypical, in a funny way. (ie. Bald Eagle, Stars(JILL!), Shotgun, etc.)

A bit hypocritical but if you have a farm with cows on it, he doesn't really wanna see them. His first thought his how to butcher them from years of training, and if they're not butcher cows, he feels kinda bad for thinking it.

Congrats! You're the only American Simon likes, aside from maybe Alex but I don't know for sure.

✧Johnny MacTavish✧

Laughs when you first speak. He apologizes but like, he laughs at you, I'm sorry.

Definitely asks if you have a cowboy hat, and he will lose his fucking mind if you do. The more cowboy shit you own the more he's entertained, especially if you wear them around base/on field.

He understands you super well but no one understands how or why. Johnny explains that it's just because he's good with accents. He'll hear weird euphemisms and, though it may take a second, 9 times out of 10 he'll get it.

"Fucker's so cheap I bet he pinches quarters til they scream." "What?! What does that mean!?" "Means he's a penny pincher! He's cheap. C'mon, that one was obvious, keep up, yeah?"

If you're a woman/female leaning, he'll call you cowgirl. If you're male/male leaning, you get the nickname cowboy. Non-binary/Genderfluid/Etc.? He calls you partner, and he'll always say it with a shitty imitation of your accent.

Asks you a buncha questions about American-Southern stereotypes to see if they're true. If they are, he gets really giggly about it.

If they ever have a mission in America, he'll insist you lead them everywhere. He likes seeing how you interact with people, especially if you're in a big city where some nutsos are. This man would have a blast watching you in a Waffle House. It's the only time he likes seeing you yell in public, thinks it's hilarious.

If you have any farm experience he's gotta see it. He needs to. I don't care if the farm is your great grandpa's and you haven't been there in a decade, you better take him to see the cows and tractors right now, immediately. Especially if there are chickens. He loves chickens.

He makes fun of your accent but he thinks it's really hot sometimes and he's very annoyed at himself for it. Particularly when you speak softly, trying to console/comfort him, slipping in a typical southern pet name.

"You alright there, sugar? Took quite a hit there. You need anythin', sweetheart?" "...I uh, uhm, ahem. N-no, no I'm alright." "Are ya sure, sweetpea? Your face is goin' redder than a tomato."" NO, I'M GOOD."

Manages to get the entire team to call you a southern callsign, whether you like it or not. He'll force it to stick. Most are animal-based too. (Cowboy/Cowgirl, Chick/Rooster, Bull/Heffer, Big Tex, etc.)

Your accent grows on him significantly. While he thinks you're very sexy when you're angry, he's really affected when you're soft and sweet. (bonus note; if you're faux sweet when you're mad? The whole "Oh...bless your heart" type thing? He's prolly gonna pop a boner, not gonna lie.)

✧John Price✧

He's not American but there are a lot of American things he likes, admittedly. Specifically, old western stuff, horses, ranches, etc. That whole aesthetic is something he's always enjoyed. He won't say it, but he has a particular fondness for your accent when he first hears it.

Doesn't understand you when your accent gets super thick but he thinks it's entertaining nevertheless. Unlike Ghost or Soap, he doesn't comment on it, because he doesn't think he has room to talk. Maybe he'd do it once and then you'd throw it back at him and he'd realize that...yeah he has no room to talk.

He's a calm individual but he will yell when necessary. But, what he finds admirable is when you jump in and yell for him. Like you can read his mind and he can save his throat, watching the people who were pissing him off jump back at thick southern curses being yelled at them.

"I outta jerk a damn knot in your fuckin' tail, ya fuckin' dumbass! Didn't ya momma ever teach you respect?! You ain't ever gonna talk to my damn captain like that again or I'll skin yer fuckin' hide!" "Ahem, thank you, sergeant, that's enough."

Buys you a cowboy hat if you don't already have one, for sure. Whether you take it as a genuine gift or you take it as a light jab at your roots, he'll get a lil' dopey smile if you decide to wear it. Gaz definitely makes fun of you two. Soap points out that Gaz also wears a hat religiously and he & Ghost start callin' you the hat trio.

Man melts at southern-drawl-spoken pet names. He truly does. Much like Soap, there's something about it that makes the tension leaves his body, though he's not really sure why.

"You alright there, Cap? You're lookin' bout ready to drop..." "I'm alright soldier, just need to finish this." "Captain, it'll be there in the mornin'. How bout a nap instead, huh? You can't go workin' yourself to the bone, hun. It ain't healthy."" ...oh alright, just for a bit though." "Sure, sugarcube, just long enough to have some tea."

He'll probably pick up on a few pet names and call you them. Whether you wanna take it as platonic or not, it's really just a sweet gesture that he wants to return. Pet names are kinda just...a staple of southern slang. It's part of the accent that he really enjoys, therefore he wants to return it.

If he ends up helping you with a call sign, it's going to be a really sweet & nice one. Or perhaps something that's from an old western he's seen. Probably based on something you've said before. (Sugarcube, Lasso, Hun/Hunny.) Bonus points if you get a super sweet name that doesn't match your stature, he thinks it's funny if it throws people off.

Piggybacking off the last one, I think it'd be real funny if your call name was "Sugarcube" and you're like...a 6'0"+ buff dude with a deep voice. That shit would be funny. Anyway!

If you own/live on a ranch or farm in your off time, he'll feel honored if you invite him to see it. Don't worry, he won't laze around and just appreciate the cute animals. (Looking at you Soap) He's got a little bit of experience with cows & horses, so he'll do his best to help you move the hay and such. Don't let him drive a tractor though, it's one of the few things he just can't do.

John doesn't play favorites, he's fair and precise to his entire team. But...off the field? ...you might get a little favoritism, he's got a weakness for bein' sweettalked through southern drawl. Don't let that go to your head though!

✧Kyle Garrick✧

Kyle doesn't care too much, he thinks every country has shitty stuff and cool stuff. He's a pretty big believer in silver linings. While America is far from his favorite country, and he knows the common trope of uh...less than tolerant people from the south, that doesn't affect how he sees you at all.

He does snicker at your accent sometimes, but only when you say something really aggressively southern. Especially making up random southern phrases that he doesn't understand at all. He finds it endearing.

"We just gotta haul ass and go tear shit up, run through like a buncha Tasmanian devils, right?" "...I understood...some of those words. Uh, sure, right." "We need to move our asses and fuck shit up." "Ah, okay. Could've just said that, but alright."

Thinks you're kinda scary when you're mad. He'll be the type to try and calm you down, but he understands if it's someone who deserves it. Not that he doesn't find your drawl fun to listen too, especially if someone was being an ass, but he doesn't like seeing you upset.

If the person you're yelling at was being a real big ass, he'll let you yell for a little, but step in. However, if you're doing condescending rage? Oh, go for it, do it all you want. He thinks it's hilarious.

Finds it particularly sweet if you're angry on the teams/his behalf. He can fight his own battles but he thinks it's a big sign of trust, friendship, etc. that you feel the need to defend him.

"Bless your heart, your brain ain't firing off on all cylinders is it, hun? Tsk, that's a shame..." "Excuse me?!" "You're excused, sweetpea. You're not gonna talk to my team that way, but you can turn your happy ass around and walk away. I ain't gonna have you disrespectin' the people who've been fightin' the good fight. Have a lovely day!" "How can you sound so sweet and yet so angry at the same time?" "Southern livin', sugar. Southern livin'."

Gaz is a bit of a foodie type, he likes trying cooking from any area he can go to. Southern cooking would...it'd be a new weakness for sure. A lot of it is unhealthy, yes, but he doesn't give a shit. It tastes good. Sometimes he thinks American food is an absolute sin and a disgrace, and he'll state it as such. Usually, it's stuff you agree on. Like bacon-covered donuts or fried butter. That shit's egregious. But things like southern-style chicken or rib-eye on a grill? You're gonna make him swoon with them roasted vegetables. Cooking for him is a surefire way to make you an unapologetic favorite in his book.

He won't say anything at the little jokes that people jab at you for your accent, but he will tell someone off if they say something that's clearly not funny and upsets you. Like trying to imply you're stupid because you come from Texas. (Speaking from personal experience) He thinks it's such a dumb thing to give someone shit over and he won't hesitate to say they're an idiot for trying to use it against you.

Hates sweet tea, I'm sorry. It's just tea but he can't stand it. He'll drink the unsweetened tea you make, but he'll make a dramatic face if he mixes them up. Something that you always laugh at.

He's great at driving basically any vehicle. Helicopters to mini coopers. He's never controlled a tractor before, but if you sit him in one and tell him the levers, it'll take him like...three minutes to get it down perfectly. Definitely gets a smug ass grin if you show you're amazed.

If he helps get you your call sign, he won't necessarily make it based on where you're from, it'll probably be based on a nickname, skill, or crucial event in your career. (Crash; you were thrown through a window, Hotshot; skill for sniping, etc.) But if he were to have one based on your southern ways? Sweet Tea, both for the fact you make it and the pet name you sometimes call him. (sweet pea)

✧Alejandro Vargas✧

Like Ghost, he's not super fond of Americans. His experience with most Americans are annoying tourists and Graves, leaves a pretty bad impression. He comes across unintentionally snappy when he first meets you, but Rudy will point it out, and he'll correct himself.

You aren't the annoying people he's dealt with and he knows it's not fair to say you are. Definitely talks shit on America though, and he'll honestly give you respect if you do the same. Since he's used to the kind of Americans that think being American give them a right to treat others like shit. He hates entitlement.

If you speak Spanish, he's gonna try really hard to not laugh at how your accent affects some words, but it's really hard. He means it in kind and if you're still learning when you meet him, he's proud when he hears you doing well in comprehension and sentences. Still, sounds just a lil silly.

He loves when your accent gets thick from rage, but he his favorite thing is if you speak Spanish in a rage, with your accent on top of it. It's a combination that fills his brain with serotonin.

"Eres un maldito idiota. ¡Tan útil como las tetas de un toro!" "Wha- Haha! What does that mean?!" "Did they say some super weird analogy?" "Si! They did!" "Yeaaah, they do that a lot."

He's notorious for having a naturally flirty personality, it's just how he's always been. Hence why not much phases him, but he does get a quite wide & genuine grin if you flirt back, making your accent extra intense. Especially with the pet names, another man who likes sweet words.

Thinks you having a southern call sign is really cute, especially if it's something your team calls you exclusively. He thinks it shows your endearment to your team. However, if your call sign is something you insist is only for friends, he'll get super giddy about being allowed to call you it.

If he were to pick? (Belle; Like southern belle whether you're fem! or not, Rodeo, and he might call you Americano- but like, in the coffee way. Like it's a sweet nickname, not just him saying your nationality)

Southern hospitality is something he is not used to. Again, bad experience with Americans. So if you explain all the various manners and nice gestures that are considered expected in your home state? He's completely confused, wondering why the Americans he's met don't keep that attitude up when they leave home.

Again, really likes it if you use southern pet names. Especially if you're trying to console him after a really tough day/mission. For some reason it really helps, like a cup of warm coffee on a cold morning.

"Aye, don't stress yourself over it, darlin'. Bad things happen that we can't control, you did everything you could and you were great at it. Don't let it eat at'cha, honey-bun." "Gracias, Bella. Lo necesitaba…" "Anytime, big guy. Now, you wanna see me try and fail again to open a de la Rosa without breaking it?" "Aha! How about I show you a trick to do it instead?"

Again, like Ghost, you're his special American. Gaz calls you his emotional-support American once and he thinks it's really funny, he'll call you as such every now and then.

✧Rodolfo Parra✧

Sweet darling man. He has nothing against you being American, nothing. But...he cannot understand anything you're saying. He's doing his best but he really doesn't know. He can feel his brain frying every time you bring up something super southern, trying to understand.

He'll have to lean over to your team to ask for a translation, anyone but Soap & Price will tack on an "I think, I'm not sure" at the end of their explanation. If he hears you use a phrase more than once, he'll add it to a little list of notes with the translation underneath it. Treats it like a whole different language. It's adorable.

Like Alejandro, he thinks it's funny if you speak Spanish with your accent. He'll keep a straight face because he knows you can't help it, but man is it fun to hear.

He's not very fond of a lot of yelling if he can avoid it, Rudy prefers disputes to be handled with calm words if possible. But he understands that sometimes it's necessary. Still, he'd want to try and calm you down if you're yelling. But, if you're just acting sickeningly-sweet, kind words that are clearly dripping with venom? He'll just watch. He thinks that shows you handle yourself very well and it's pretty attractive to him, not gonna lie.

"Awww I'm so sorry you're upset, poor thing. God bless you, sir, you have a lovely day. I hope that stick up your ass doesn't hurt too bad." "¡Soldado! No digas eso…" "Shh, sugar, it's fine. He wants to be rude, I can be rude back. An eye for an eye. Don't worry your pretty lil' head bout it, sweetheart." "Dios, a veces me asombras y me aterrorizas."

He's really hesitant about American food. It smells great sometimes but all he hears about American food is that it's greasy, or too salty, etc. Still, he won't deny any meal you make. He thinks it's rude to deny food unless it's something you're allergic to.

He ends up liking a few things, but he is biased to his home cooking. But if you start making his favorite foods, or somehow combine the styles in an honoring way? Oh, those are his favorites. He's particularly fond of American sweets though!

Please bake for this man, bake for him, I beg. Apple pie is an American staple for a reason and he'll jokingly claim he'll move to America if it means he can have apple pie every day.

"Rudy, that's your fourth piece! Ahaha, if I knew you liked it so much I woulda made ya more." "Ay, please do! ¡Fue enviado desde el cielo!" "Alright then, hun, I'll be sure to make you all the apple pie ya want."

Rudy really likes if you wear stuff like a cowboy hat. He's not really sure why, he just thinks it's really cute. If it's a staple of your whole look(like John's hat), seeing you protective over it, he thinks that's really cute. If you're protective of your cowboy hat but let him hold it/put it on his head to hold it, it's gonna fluster him. Even if your guy's relationship is completely platonic.

If you live near the border of Texas & Mexico, it makes visiting you pretty easy, so he'll have no qualms about going back and forth when off duty. He'll be more comfortable in his home but he won't turn down the offer to see your home, especially if it's a ranch. He's got a soft spot for farm animals. (Particularly goats)

If he has any control of how you choose your call sign, he'll likely pick something the same way Gaz does. But, if you have a thing about what certain people call you - like how only Ghost can call Soap "Johnny" - He feels really warm and fuzzy if he gets a special privilege.

(Translations; "Eres un maldito idiota. ¡Tan útil como las tetas de un toro!" - "You're a fucking idiot - as useful as a bull's tits/about as useful as tits on a bull!" "Gracias, Bella. Lo necesitaba…" - "Thank you, bella/beauty. I needed it." "¡Soldado! No digas eso…" - "Soldier! You can't say that..." "Dios, a veces me asombras y me aterrorizas." - "God, sometimes you amaze and terrify me." "¡Fue enviado desde el cielo!" - "It was sent from heaven!")

[gh0st-t0wn3]

Lmk ss edits + headcanons, Part 6 (Azure Lion, Peng, Yellowtusk)

(I originally made my own design of Azure and Yellowtusk but wasn't quite happy with how they turned out so I scrapped them, the designs for those two I used in these edits were made by @/erraday_ on twt, with a few minor changes, but Peng's design is my own :) )

- He/Him

- Pansexual

- Snores so loud, it's insane, Yellowtusk once thought there was an earthquake

- Feels bad whenever he's steps on a ladybug, butterfly etc

- Gives everyone and everything giant bear hugs because he thinks if Yellowtusk can take it, so can everyone else (They cannot)

- Mei once gave him catnip as a joke and he went fucking feral, he's not allowed near catnip anymore

- His hair/fur is actually very soft and curly

- Thought he saw an old friend while out in public and hugged them, it was a stranger

- Wakes up Yellowtusk in the middle of the night to ask stupid questions

- The Brotherhood asked to hear his roar but he got really nervous last second and it ended up being really meek, they never let him forget it

- Coughed up a hairball once and Peng refuses to let him live it down

- Has eaten cat food before and would do it again

- Cannot do the splits and is too scared to try

- Gets really confused by modern slang, MK and Mei abuse the hell out of it because it's funny

- Whenever he's rough housing with people he accidentally hits a bit too hard

- Whenever he walks past anyone playing a game that involves a ball (football, basketball, netball, etc) he somehow always ends up getting hit in the head with it

- If he wasn't sealed away and got a chance to babysit Redson as a kid he wouldn't know what the fuck to do and would be really awkward cause he doesn't know how to interact with children, he'd be able to bond with Redson better when he becomes a teenager though

- No one gossips with him because he always ends up unintentionally outing someone about something

- Ate moldy food once by accident and freaked out, he was absolutely disgusted

- Hates horror movies but loves slashers

- Drinks mouthwash

- Smells like catnip (trust me guys)

- Love language is words of affirmation

- Has horrible bed head, his mane gets tangled really easily and he tosses around a lot at night so his mane takes hours to brush out

- Absolutely refuses to wear shoes, they hurt his feet (paws?)

- The type of person to cry over a movie about a dog getting lost and then finding its owner at the end

- Can somehow eat an entire goddamn buffet and not gain a single pound

- His face always scrunches up when he smiles

- Lost his balance on a hill and fell down like a tumbleweed once, Peng still brings it up

- They/He (Canon, Peng uses They/Them in the show but is exclusively referred to w/ He/Him in the sets)

- Nonbinary (Canon)

- Starts squaking when he laughs too much

- If you throw a blanket over their head he'll immediately fall asleep

- "look behind you but don't make it obvious" Looks behind him in the most exaggerated, obvious way known to mankind

- Stole food from Wukong's private stash for several months when the Brotherhood was all still together, Wukong still doesn't know

- Wukong gave them cooked chicken once as a joke but he actually liked it

- Constantly argues with Wukong about Macaque not being able to hold his own, yes it got physical

- Their wings have a bunch of scars from the amount of weapons and shit they block with them. Has to consistently clean their wings in order to keep them from getting too damaged, yes this includes softening and preening his feathers

- If they weren't sealed away and got a chance to babysit Redson as a kid they would tape him to the wall like that one meme and call it a day

- Bit off a person's finger once just to see if they could

- Doesn't shop, just steals

- "I hate you so fucking much" as he's handing the person a gift

-  Tried to draw on Wukong's face once but got wacked with his tail

- Absolutely HATES beetroot, will actually gag if he smells it

- Kicks over kids sand castles at the beach

- Can't stand small buzzing sounds

- "I'm not that competitive" is that competitive

- Claims you can trust them with anything but will snitch the second they know it will benefit them

- Probably threatened to eat someone's baby once

- Goes to playgrounds to trip kids

- Smells like Lavender, it just feels right

- Love language is words of affirmation and acts of service

- Has tried sleeping upside down like a bat multiple times

- Hardcore wine aunt vibes

- Had a bunch of ducklings accidently imprinted to him and they followed Peng for hours

- You'd have to pin this bird down to get them to eat collyflower

- Jokingly pushed Azure off a cliff once then remembered they're the only member of the Camel Ridge Trio that can fly

- They have full on concerts at like 3 am, has woken up Azure on multiple occasions

- He/Him

- AroAce

- Is the calmest one in the Brotherhood

- He uses Peng's head as an armrest sometimes

- He and DBK were actually quite close, he knew and accepted that DBK was in love with a celestial but was very surprised to see they ended up having a child

- Very poor eyesight but doesn't like wearing his glasses because Peng made a joke about them once saying he looked like a grandma

- Uses ":3" and ":D"

- Loves soap opera's

- Hates seafood

- Peng once tricked him into eating fish nuggets once and he still hasn't fully forgiven them

- If he wasn't sealed away and got a chance to babysit Redson as a kid he would definitely be the most responsible one, and probably Redson's favourite uncle

- Eats a snack then forgets he ate it and will bet frustrated when he can't find it

- The therapist of the Camel Ridge Trio, and probably of the whole Brotherhood in the past as well

- Was the only one who felt bad about imprisoning the Demon Bull Family since he and DBK were very close

- He also reprimanded Peng for when they pinned and scratched Redson with their claws after they left the Demon Bull Palace (he's the protective uncle, trust me guys)

- Hates getting hiccups, he despises the feeling and it gives him heartburn

- Wakes up at ungodly hours just to raid the fridge

- Heard a story about a bug crawling in someone's ear while they slept and has worn earplugs to bed ever since

- Loves apples

- Smells like Lilies

- Love language is gift giving

- Is really big on safety, would be the type of person to make sure everyone is wearing their seat belts before the car is even turned on

- Actually really good at cooking

- Makes the best chocolate chip pancakes ever

- Is the kind of person who assumes everyone tells eachother everything and accidently exposes someone because he thought everyone else knew about it already

- Always hears things wrong but doesn't wanna ask anyone to repeat themselves

- Has the most elegant ass handwriting you will ever see, somehow

- The peacemaker of the Brotherhood,  they all would've disbanded way sooner if it wasn't for him

- Uses his trunk as a snorkle when swimming or sleeping underwater (elephants actually do this irl, I just thought it was cute)

[dyinglikenarcissus]

Staying Home

Steve’s best girl has been sick before but not like this. He’s determined to be the best stay at home doctor boyfriend he can be.

Thank you so much @longingstormysoul for the inspiration. It’s not exactly what you requested but I had the flu and I kind of weaved this story into that.

Warnings: None really. Just fluff and stuff but this blog it still 18+. No funny business

Plagiarism isn’t cute. Don’t do it.

Like, comments, and reblogs are all appreciated 😊

Master List

You wake up feeling a slight chill run through your body. You snuggle closer to you personal heater and pull the sheets up to your nose. You swallow and know that the flu season has finally gotten to you. You try to take a breath and find your nose hopelessly stuffed. You attempt it again and are thrown into a coughing fit.

“You okay, princess?” You hear Steve’s sleepy voice mutter from behind you, rubbing a hand down your side.

You sit up and take a sip of your water bottle you kept by the bed. You attempt to sooth your burning throat but it doesn’t help as it brings on another coughing fit.

“Hey. What’s wrong?” Steve asks again sitting up to rub your back.

“I think I’m coming down with something,” you wheeze, trying not to talk too loudly.

“Oh, princess. Come here,” Steve coos and presses the back of his hand to your forehead. “You’re warmer than normal,” he muses.

“But I feel so cold,” you whisper, pulling the blankets to your chest.

“Yup. Definitely a fever. Do you have any cold medicine?” You nod and attempt to get out of bed. “I’ll get it,” Steve assures you and presses you back down.

“It’s in that cabinet,” you sniffle and cough before continuing, “in the corner by the sink.

The upper one.”

“Got it. You sit tight and bundle up,” orders.

You’ve never been one to follow orders.

You slide out of bed to use the restroom and brush your teeth.

Steve steps into the bathroom and appears in the mirrors reflection after you spit out your toothpaste.

“Didn’t I tell you to stay in bed?” There’s a playful smirk on his face as he watches you through the mirror.

“I’m not the soldier in this relationship,” you whisper. You think the vibrations from your toothbrush loosened the congestion in your nose but your throat was still on fire.

“When you finish up, I made you some hot tea then I’ll take your breakfast order.”

“You’re gonna cook?” You chuckle and rub some face wash against your skin. Your boyfriend is good at almost everything. Cooking is not one of those things.

He grins at your words. “Panera’s a block away. Whatever soup you want. Sandwich. They have flat breads now. Apple for breakfast, chips for lunch, baguette for dinner.” You can’t help but giggle at his notion but you’ve gone days only eating at Panera before. Sadly.

A day of Panera sounded amazing.

“And I made you a virtual doctors appointment. They’ll call in an hour. Just wanna make sure I don’t have to go on a murderous rampage to find a cure for the love of my life.” You giggle and it turns into another coughing fit.

“You’d go on a murderous rampage for me?” You smile once you regain your voice.

“Well…Bucky and Loki would. I’d go along to keep them in line.”

You smile at his words. “Thor can’t even keep Loki in line. What makes your think you can?”

“Hey! Who kicked Hitler’s ass across the continental US?” You shake your head and try not to laugh to hold back the coughs. “You done making yourself look beautiful? Get back in bed, princess.”

“Beautiful?” You huff, looking yourself over. You felt anything but beautiful but you’d take it.

You slink back into the bed with Steve on your heels. He tucks you in before sitting on the edge of the bed to take you meal order. It may be breakfast time but some chicken noodle soup sounded amazing. Stevie did say to order for the day…

You giggle at the array of items in your cart by the time you pass Steve’s phone back to him.

“Soup, salad, a whole baguette, a kitchen sink cookie? What is that?”

“It’s got everything but the kitchen sink,” you smile. They normally sell out at lunch so you’re staking your claim early. “What are you getting?”

“Breakfast sandwich, turkey sandwich, ham sandwich,” Steve recounts. “And I’m getting one of these cookies, too.” You smile and Steve presses a kiss to your forehead. “Take some meds, princess. And get some sleep. I’ll be back before you know it.” You nod and obey his direction as he walks out of the bedroom and the apartment. You sip you tea and scroll through your phone for a minute before the NyQuil kicks in and knocks you out.

You wake up to Steve hot body wrapped around you as he dozes, spooning you comfortably on the couch. At least it would’ve been comfortable. You would’ve normally loved it.

You felt completely stifled.

“Stevie, too hot,” you whine and attempt to press away from him.

He groans and stretches before muttering a soft “What’s wrong?”

“You’re too hot,” you whimper trying to struggle out of the throw blanket.

“Calm down. I’ll help you.” He untangles you and tosses the blanket to the chairs. “Better?”

You hum positively.

He sighs and you hear music playing from the TV. “We fell asleep?” You ask as you crack your eyes open to see the credits playing from the movie you were watching.

“You’ve seen Avatar enough times to know all the lines. We didn’t miss much.” You hear the smile in Steve’s voice as he rubs your stomach softly.

You giggle and sing along to I See You with your croaky sick voice. Steve laughs and rolls on to his back. Well, as much as he can on the crowded couch.

“How you feeling, princess?”

You yawn and nod. “A little better. I’m enjoying just being home with you. Sucks I have to be sick.”

“I’m enjoying the vacation,” Steve yawns. “What are we watching next?” He goes back to the Disney+ menu to scroll through your recommendations.

“The Orville! Or Miraculous Ladybug! Are there new Miraculous episodes?”

Steve chuckles. “Let’s check. Shit, looks like they uploaded the rest of season 5.”

“Run it, Cap!” You grin.

“Popcorn?”

You nod and get up to go to the kitchen.

“Take some cough medicine while you’re up,” Steve instructs.

You sigh and but follow his orders. You were getting better under Dr. Rogers supervision so you couldn’t knock him. You just had a bad cough and a migraine that wouldn’t go away no matter what medication you took. But all your other symptoms cleared up in a couple of days.

He had to be doing something right.

You toss a bag of popcorn in the microwave and look through the pile of pills for your cough meds.

You grab two bottles of water and deposit them on the coffee table when there’s a knock at the door.

“Who’s that?” Steve mutters narrowing his eyes.

“Maybe Amazon?” You shrug. You start to walk over to get it but Steve easily over takes you.

Doesn’t stop you from peaking around him to see who it is.

It’s just Bucky.

“What are you doing here?” Steve greets.

Of course he’d be the only one brave enough to come visit when you’re this sick. Super soldier immune systems are no joke.

“Just came to check on you two,” Bucky grins as Steve lets him in.

“Hey, Buck,” you smile. He pulls you into a hug and presses a kiss to your forehead. It was his standard greeting for you. It always felt so warm and comfortable.

“Sorry for the mess,” you whisper.

“You’re sick, doll. Don’t apologize,” he sighs and follows Steve to the living room.

“How’s it going? Getting any better?”

“From when I first got sick, way better,” you smile.

“She still has a bad cough and gets random fevers,” Steve sighs, pulling you into his lap after you bring back a bowl of popcorn. “But one day at a time.” You nod and snuggle into his embrace.

“You two will never stop being disgusting,” Bucky sighs watching you as he falls into the arm chair. “As much as I love you, I didn’t come by just to check on you, doll face. Stevie. Wanna go to Istanbul?”

“No,” Steve states firmly.

“Nat’s in Brazil and Sam’s in California. I don’t have back up.”

“You can’t throw a stick without hitting a super powered being. Go find one of them.”

“Steve, are you seriously saying no?”

“Yes.” Steve states resolutely. “My best girl is sick. I’m not leaving her like this.”

“Stevie, I’m feeling much better. You don’t have to stay behind because of me-“

“No, princess. Buck. I’m retired. Which means I don’t have to work if I don’t want to. I love you, you know I do, but I don’t want to go. I want to stay right here and take care of my princess. Any other time, I’d suit up but right now, she needs me.”

Bucky looks between you and Steve. “Okay,” Bucky says simply.

“Okay?” Steve asks, leaning back on the couch and pulling you along like a security blanket. Bucky would say whatever he wants to Steve but he watches his language around you.

“Yeah, I get it. I’ll ask Okoye or track down that Moon Knight fellow. He hangs out in the Middle East sometimes.”

“You have so many options,” Steve smiles. “I have to draw a line somewhere.”

“Or we’ll just keep dragging you out and it’ll be like you never stopped,” Bucky sighs, leaning back in the recliner.

“When are you leaving?”

“Couple of days.”

“Then you can watch a couple of episodes with us. Want some popcorn?” Steve pushes the bowl closer to his best friend.

Bucky stayed for a few hours, took a nap, ate dinner, then said goodnight.

You turned on Steve the second the door closed. “You don’t have to stay behind because of me.”

“I’m not doing it because of you. I’m doing it because I love you and I don’t want to leave you alone while you’re sick. I’m going to marry you one day and that’s part of the vows, isn’t it?” He smirks and you’re sure your fever came back because you suddenly feels faint.

The two of you didn’t talk about marriage often but when you did, you alway felt flushed and flustered.

“Come on, my little princess. Let’s get to bed early. You’ve had an eventful day.” He scoops you up by the backs of your thighs and carries you to the bathroom to wash up for bed. You both brush your teeth and shower together, just like you’ve done all week.

And you end it all curled up in Steve’s strong arms. You’re quickly getting used to this.

“I like having you home,” you sigh as he holds you against him.

“I like being home. I could really get used to this.”

“This is what retirement actually looks like, baby,” you smile.

“I think I might actually do it one day.” You hear the smile in Steve’s voice making you giggle.

“I know better. The second I start feeling better, you’ll be back out there on them streets.”

“You aren’t feeling better, are you?” Steve questions and presses you down on your back to get a better look at you. You let out a fake cough. “That’s what thought.” He presses a soft kiss to your lips and you can’t help your smile.

“One more?”

“Spoiled little princess.” But he happily obliges.

“I’m your spoiled little princess,” you remind him.

“I guess I have to keep taking care of you.”

You nod in agreement. “And keep giving me cuddles and kisses?”

“And keep giving you all the cuddles and kisses you could ever need.” He presses another kiss to your lips and pulls you back into his embrace.

You lie in his arms for a moment. “Stevie, I really am feeling much better,” you insist.

He hums softly but ignores you otherwise.

“It’s true. I barely have a cough anymore…”

“I don’t care what you have to say, I’m not leaving.” You giggle softly and snuggle into his arms.

For the first time in your almost two year relationship, he said no to saving the world. For you. You can’t keep the smile off of your face as you fall asleep in the only place you want to be: in Steve’s arms.

Master List

[takenbypeter]

Lovely Neighbors

Eddie Brock x reader

Words: 727

Author’s note: Did I write this slightly based off of personal experience? Yes. Gotta love neighbors. Also I set it up like there may be a part two because I feel like there should be but idk if I actually want to do that.

Warning: one part alluding to sex but like barely

“Oh god, why? Why?” You’d whisper shout while clenching your hands tight and shaking your head.

When you decided to make the transition from a big house with your family to a small apartment living all on your own, what you forgot to remember was the lack of privacy, and it seemed like your dear neighbors forgot as well.

The thumping, the moaning, you could barely even think with all the sounds that were coming out of that apartment. You’ve only been in the place for two months and they’ve done this a number of times. And it’s not like they were right next to you, they were your diagonal neighbors so that went to show either one; how loud they were, or two; just how thin the walls actually were.

At first you were going to ignore the problem altogether but it was nearly impossible to do.

Now you were not a confrontational person, so while you stood with your hand wrapped around your own front doorknob you practiced what you were going to say.

“All I’m gonna do is go over there,” you mumbled, “and say, ‘hey I love that you guys love each other, that’s super important in a relationship but other people live here, please keep it quiet…please,’ yeah that’s it, that’s perfect.”

You shook your head once more and inhaled for confidence. With that small boost you turned the knob and pulled the door open. Just as you did, the front door of the the apartment next to you flung open and out came your next door neighbor.

You watch, a little surprised because you’ve genuinely never seen the man before. He was always out and about, and honestly you weren’t sure if there was one person living there or two because when he was home, he was always talking with someone. It was funny, after hearing his voice multiple times and now seeing him, he looked exactly how you imagine. Like a volunteer firefighter. Like a really tired, annoyed, angry volunteer firefighter.

That being said you watched from your door post as he knocked on the door, hard. You could hear him mumbling angrily. He didn’t wait long before knocking again and when it was obvious that no one was going to answer the door he did something that no one would believe you if you told them.

You heard him say , “that’s it.” And his arm started becoming encased in black goo or something like that and then he punched the door.

Wide open.

The door practically flew open.

Then a deeper voice spoke, one that you recognized as the other person he talks to, “If you two don’t shut up I’ll rip both your heads off.”

That got them to stop.

The goo practically disappeared back inside of him and at this point you don’t know whether to be confused or horrified by what you just witnessed. You guess it was sort of obvious on your face because when the man went to turn back around he spotted you clearly for the first time since the whole ordeal started.

You stood, with your body frozen against the door post, eyes wide in a panic. His own eyes fell to the floor for a moment, almost like an ashamed child before he went back in his apartment and slammed the door.

After that there was nothing really for you to do expect retreat back into your own apartment.

You go to bed that night feeling awful. But honestly thankful to that mystery neighbor that saved you knowing it to be true that you were more likely than not going to chicken out at the last moment.

You replayed that embarrassed look he gave when he caught you staring at him. Even though you couldn’t see your own face, you could just picture the horrified expression you made. You couldn’t help it, it was just a natural instinct, you meant nothing by it. At this point it’s well into the night and you’re not sure if what you’re worried about is a serious concern or if you’re just overthinking things as you typically did. But either way, as you drift off to sleep you decide not to address what just happened. I mean you’ve never seen him before this. It’s not like you were going to really see him again. Right?

[the-moon-files]

Who do you think you could beat in a fight? like no weapons, not power gloves/bracelets, just bare hands and a dream.

BARE HANDS AND A DREAMMMM

who let u be this funny kota lmao

Tbh, me v. anything stronger than a chicken or a chuchu, they winning.

Ive only Just started going to the gym, i have very little muscle that isnt from carrying groceries, so hands down, not many things i would realistically fight in botw/loz games in general

If ur talking abt the Links tho?? Uh, none. 💀

Im not that delusional (yet), i mean i guess if u wanna get creative with it, I think, personally,

I could beat some of them in a drinking game lol

Like maybe Sky, Hyrule, Four, Wild, and (to his lightweight dismay) Legend, just bc im not a lightweight so thatd be funny

But general strength? Nah probably none of them

But u wanna hear my delusional takes on this, like if i would just swing regardless of actual strength discrepancy,

Weirdly enough, Hylia? LMAO

*

(Warning, Hylia bashing, if u like her a lot for whatever reason and are going to feel the need to comment in her defense, pls find another post to do that on, this rlly isnt that serious)

*

Alright, let me explain, let me explainnn

So i saw LU blogs defend this better than me, but basically Hylia (not Zeldas) is like lowkey another root cause for problems in Hyrule, she kind of encourages this endless cycle of abuse of "heroes" or mortals, to enlist in this eternal battle against Demise/Ganon, when he's technically immortal, and she should be fighting him herself.

Or at least not making mortals (who can Die) fight for her, especially with the setup being a SINGULAR MORTAL. like not even an army of mortals

(Like i get it, its for stupid-plot-not-rlly-thought-out-reasons so the games get to exist, but suspend ur disbelief pls, assuming this is now a real universe that ive got dropped into)

There are other reasons, like how she possesses every Zelda lowkey against her will, or without her permission to be in her body at least, and that she sort of? I thought, like? Wants to to be with Link every time? Feels kinda creepy?

Idk that one may not be true, but there are way cooler blogs out there that have a nicer receipt list of beef with Hylia, pls find them

But most importantly, if u take nothing else away from this, its that, someone out there, in the depths of LU tumblr, gave reasonable, logical, justifications about how Legend could take down Hylia on his own.

She's basically all magic, so if she suddenly had no more magic in this scenario, im betting that i could at least tackle her and turn it into a bar fight lol

Revenge for all the Links u could say,

I actually thought abt making a fic that had smth like this premise, but eh, ive got so much to write abt rn i havent taken it on

Plus, hey, who doesn't wanna fight God a little?

Hope that answered ur question! Or at least was entertaining!

Sorry if u rlly like Hylia for whatever reason and i just shat on her for like a small paragraph, idk, just unread it or smth

(Im still watching a playthru of SS, but i think i also could specifically take Ghirahim in a arm wrestling contest, ok thank you, good night)

Peace out,

🌙

[naok-iyuu]

Love is about details - Zed Necrodopolis x fem!reader

Summary : On a Halloween night, you meet a boy that will soon become your best friend. Until feelings get in the way.

word count : 8.2k

My masterlist ! No major warnings, just reader having an existential crisis mid fic and Zed being a golden retriever.

(Autor's note) : I AM FINALLY ALIIIVVEEE !!! I am soo lazy, I've struggled so much to finish this one. And even when I get ideas, I always end up with those blank page syndrome or with too much drafts on my account.

I hope this fanfic will be liked by some of you, I don't really know where I was going at some point but I couldn't bring myself to delete and do something else ahah. I wanted to do a small fic... Well it ended up with 8k words. ENJOY!!

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You never believed in love at first sight. Hell you even thought it was the most stupid thing the world ever created to entertain Terrians. Maybe you could be really attracted to someone at first sight, because ‘gorgeous’, surely, would be the first word coming to your mind while crossing path someone like Joshua Bassett. But to truly fell in love, you should be able to remember their eye color and describe it as something precious. Or so you thought.

Your first encounter with the boy you would fell in love with was on Halloween. Your friend group thought it would be funny to cross Seabrook’s border to enter Zombietown, something about showing each other that you weren’t chicken-hearted. A stupid teenage idea.

You weren’t interested in those things, but you followed your bestfriend who was a total lab nerd that would smash the Seabrook barrier to see a real zombie outside of your school. Natural habitat analysis thingy going on in her head.

It didn’t last long though, each and every person looked every two seconds behind them and jumped at every street common noise their hears caught.

They finally all went running back to the so called ‘normal side’ when a zombie, woman, screamed at them from the other side of the road. The sound as surprised you so much that your body frooze instantly. Your heart started beating even faster when the door near you suddenly oppened rapidly, making you jump and gasp.

Your eyes met one of a boy, it was easy enought to discern the surprised and concerned look on his face, his gaze looking strangly at you. You were disguised as a zombie for Halloween, well, the kind of zombie filmakers showed in their movies. Torn clothes, messy hair, pale skin with a lot of scars. Not really looking like the young zombie you had in front of you. Green hair styled with skills you surely did not have, grunge clothes, but a nice call on the pale skin.

"What are you doing here ?" His words came out skeptical, for what on earth would a human be on the wrong side of the wall. Well, there was Halloween of course, but nobody ever had the courage to come here.

He had caught on your dressing up, you were a convincing enought zombie for normal people, but not for a zombie apparently. He could admit that your make up was impressive, those scars looked real.

"Hm… Well with Halloween going on, my friends came to scare themself."

His eyebrows raised when you answered him. He was more prepared to receive a scream followed by one of the biggest sprint he’ll ever see. He looked from left to right, but found nothing other than his old, moldy town. "Seems like they got scared, right ?"

His conclusion got a chuckle out of your lips and you nodded your head, looking in the direction your friends took a run for their life. In the back of your mind, you thought about the fact they totally forgot to look out for you. They would be hearing about it for at least the next 10 years. "Yeah, they completely took a run for it."

Your eyes met his again, the situation was quite awkward. For him taking in the sight of a human in front of his house, and for you, who, for the love of the sky above, couldn’t even move to end this nightmare. "I should… Probably get going."

Your eyes lost their way on the scenery around, thinking that you should go home before everyone calls the police to get you out. Your parents would lose their head if they knew something had happened to you. You finally found in you the energy to move a foot when his hesitant voice stopped you.

"Can I ask for your name ?"

You turned around, returning to the spot you were so eager to leave. It took you a few seconds again to gather your thoughts. He wasn’t the one responsible for the fact you were right in front of his door, just stairs away from him. Maybe you were just disturbed by how calm you actually were. You were going to blame the Halloween effect on this one, green haired people weren’t that weird and scary compared to some costume people came up with.

"Huh yeah. I am Y/n." A breeze stopped your own question to let your name simmer in the air. The fact being that you were two people trying to get each other names after a weird encounter and not a girl and a zombie in that very moment felt like something you shouldn’t be allowed to do. Zombies were still hated by your people, they haven’t stopped talking trash about them even when they got welcomed in your school. Change must be scary for humans.

"And you ?" His own mouth went dry, maybe from the exact same fact you realised or from his father's voice hurrying him inside. His words got stuck for a time more, remembering his own name and yours.

"Zed. I am Zed Necrodopolis." He nodded to himself, at least he didn’t mispelled it nor hesitated too much. Zed was friendly to everyone, even when he started his first year at Seabrook high. Yet, having an intruder in Zombie Town had taken him aback, that was quite the shocker. He tried to remember if he ever saw you at school. No, he surely hasn’t… has he ?

A wave of your hand paused his thoughts. He waved goodbye back, looking at your silhouette. Once you were far enough and his father's voice loud enough, he came back inside his sweet little home.

Another idea occurred, did you even know where you were going ?

. . .

The few other encounters were less awkward.

After a good scare endured by your friends who thought you had been devoured by a thousand zombies, deserved. You had to go back to school, tossing aside your friend questions about how the zombie you talked to looked like, smelled like, dressed up like. You couldn’t remember a single thing, just a bunch of green hair that could be seen all around the school now. Or maybe, you just didn’t really want to talk about it.

You crossed paths with him, between classes and lunches. Both too hesitant to talk and too distracted by your talkative friends. You had waved, waved, and waved again at each other. He noticed how you would only use your right hand to greet him, and you acknowledged how dark colors were the ones that suited him most. Your wavery earned a gasp from your bestfriend and a side angry eye from the zombie girl following Zed around.

. . .

Grabbing the library table, your friend looked at you with the biggest eyes possible. "It was Zed Necrodopolis ?" Her voice whispered in disbelief.

She had finally noticed your wavering habits with the zombie after seeing him near the lockers on your way to the library, when you already had done it 10 times today.

You frowned, moving slightly your head like something would jump on you if you moved too much. "You know him ?"

She shook her head with her mouth open in shock, her eyes rolled back in her head. "He’s the one zombie who got into the football team ! Do you live under a rock ?"

"Since you forgot me back in Zombietown, yes. I feel much more secure." You slid your joke with a thin smile and a raise of your features to make your point and annoy her.

She breathed a quiet laugh in your direction with a smile. She was ready to get back at you when a voice interrupted her.

"Hi, sorry to disturb you both, can we sit here ?"

You two looked up from your conversation, locking your eyes with the ones you couldn’t escape even if you tried. Schools aren’t that big after all. Zed was standing here, a zombie girl clearly angry and a taller zombie boy with the biggest smile right next to him.

Your mouth oppened and closed a few times, your words hiding themself in the back of your throat instead of helping you in creating a sentence. You turned to your best friend and saw her eyes popped out of her face, her mouth wide open enough to swallow at least 3 whole families of flies. Her eyes stared in your direction, her face not moving an inche from her surprised and excited features. You didn’t need to ask for her permission, she would beg you to say yes. Slightly nervous, you faced Zed again who was waiting for you with a gentle smile.

"Yeah of course." You slided your chair closer to your wide eyed friend next to you to let the three zombies sit on the three available chair.

When they sat down, silence followed. Zed, who sat on your other side, looked at you with shy eyes. Something that cringed the girl with a messy bun. He discretly waved hello to you, a ritual that seemed to please him more than you could imagine. You waved back discretly, the tiniest ‘hi’ falling from your lips to greet him. His eyes quickly caught the color of your pencil case, f/c. Somehow, he felt like he could have guessed this as your favorite color.

A sigh caught everyone attention and the green haired girl crossed her arms. "Why are we even here ?"

Zed was quick to quiet down any fight he thought could happen due to his friend being grumpy and the two humans girls feeling hurt by her words. "To say Hi." He caught both your attention, introducing his friends. "This is Eliza, don’t mind her she is getting used to human, still. And this is my buddy Bonzo."

Bonzo smile grew even bigger, showing all of his teeth as he raised his hand to say what seemed to be a ‘hello’ or a ‘nice to meet you’ in zombie. Phrased by some ‘zogzigzargzog’, or maybe it was ‘zigzagzargzogzarg’, you couldn’t remember.

"What did he said ?!" Your friend high pitched voice surprised everyone, she was quick to react to Bonzo words. Her hand was nearly breaking her pen by squeazing it too much, her other hand flipping pages of a new notebook you had never seen.

"That’s Lucile. Sorry about her she just really loves zombies for some reasons..." You tried to ease their surprise by introducing your highly excited best friend who seemed to live her biggest dream.

"That’s completely fine." Surprisingly, his words gently eased your mind. Maybe handling both girls wouldn’t be that hard. "He said ‘pleasure to meet you both’. "

You heard her excited gasp before she started writing what she heard. How could she even remember what the other boy said ?

"I only wrote what I heard but could you check ?" Her question was more of an affirmation as she slided her notebook right into Zed’s hands, passing it in front of you. He was careful not to disturb your work while grabbing the book.

His dark orbs looked at you with an amused grin before asking for a pencil, which Lucile gladly and almost throwed at him in a hurry. Getting a scared ‘Jesus !’ from you. "You heard it right, but if I may, here’s the zombie way of writing it."

When he handed it back to her, you were sure she was going to explode on the spot. "You guys have a whole different alphabet to speak zombie ?!"

Zed seemed proud of her reaction, he was cute. You could see in the corner of your eyes Eliza slowly relaxing herself. Maybe she had been worried that you would be as mean as the cheerleaders when they first arrived.

"And twenty-three different ways to write the word ‘brain’. " His head nooded to her in affirmation.

"Oh my god this is awesome ! If you guys can teach me all about it somedays, I want to know everything !"

"We’ll be glad, right ?" He turned to his friends. Bonzo cheered with his usual bright smile while Eliza shrugged her shoulders, mumbling a 'why not'.

You smiled at them, happy that everyone seemed to get quite along for a first encounter. You felt like you didn’t know how to act around Zed, for a fact, you didn’t know each other except for those stolen hi’s after all. You could say that socializing wasn’t really something you were good at.

Zed seemed to notice your shyness, maybe he could help you by showing his friendly side. "Your friend seems great. She’s funny."

You looked up to see his brown eyes looking at you. For some reasons, you were sure that that one sunray directed right to his left eye was there on purpose. "Yeah, she’s the best."

Zed had made the first step toward you, hoping to see bloom a friendship between the fake zombie girl he had seen on his doorstep and himself.

Mainly thanks to Lucile and her inconditional love for zombies, she got the three of them to stay at your table for an hour.

. . .

Day after day, you were gradually seen hanging out with Zed and his crew along with Lucile more and more. Forming a lovely mixed group of five.

You opened up slowly, and conversation started to feel more natural once you knew each zombie better. You didn’t need Zed’s help anymore to feel comfortable, your questionable jokes already sliding in each and every sentence you could form.

Bonzo and Eliza seemed to like you both, even if you couldn’t communicate with the taller boy. You still found ways to understand him and he did the same. Eliza and Lucile both fell for their nerd side, not looking like total polar opposite anymore. Eliza being a zombie was Lucile fuel for knowledge and Lucile being always impressed by Eliza knowledge and technology made her feel understood.

Fast enought, without anyone questioning or noticing it, every single second you could spend glued to Zed became your mission number one every day. You had your routines, your habits, and somehow in the mist of it all, the jocks found his way to be your new and unique routine.

The same could be said for him. Even if Zed would never be ruled by any routines, having you and Lucile gang up with Eliza and Bonzo went from something nice to his essential. Even when the group couldn’t be together, the boy always found his way to you and you to him. He somehow quickly noticed your love for quiet places and books, which made it easier to find you. You were, too, quick to find Zed everytime you were looking for him. His loud voice and love for football were easy enough to spot in every room he could be in.

Free hours in school were spend in his company, lunches were eaten right next to him just so you could mock his choice of food, and you surprised yourself with even seeing him on weekends. Zombies had won freedom for their own actions, seeing your friends was now a piece of cake. You started with simple hang outs with everyone to going to Zed’s house, him to yours, and even to include ice cream rituals in town. You could never be thankful enough for those, especially for the coach's peanut butter n’ bones ice cream.

Your parents never saw you out of the house this often, you could even say that your mom had started to grow a soft spot for the green haired jock. Something you would have gladly erased from your memories if not for those family meal where his name seemed to always end up in.

. . .

That’s why you never believed in love at first sight. For you, you had to know the person, hang out with them and remember everything special about them. You could never have fallen in love by just seeing Zed for the first time next to his crusty door. You believed that love was about details. And this belief would be the one hitting you full speed right in the guts.

. . .

"How can you say that zombies have different eye colors ? They are all bloody brown !" Lucile hands fell on her thighs, smacking them in the process with exasperation.

Your best friend sitting on your bed had talked about her zombie knowledge again for the past twenty minutes, a knowledge you had started to be really interested in recently. She’ll never mention it, but it surprised her when you suddenly asked about their language, culture and even tradition.

You knew a bunch, thanks to your zombies buddies, but Lucile was a goldmine of information. If you wanted to know anything without sounding too weird or suspicious, you knew she was your best option.

Today’s new debate started when Lucile talked about physical differences between zombies, noticing how all hairs weren't exactly the same shade of green. However, she had maintained her statement about their eyes being only a very dark brown.

"No they are not. There are different shades too." You contradicted her again, looking at her notes and judging some of them as enormous lies, just the hater you were.

"Okay, give me an exemple." She moved her hand to invite you to elaborate your point of view, obviously curious to know why you were so reactive to this fact and not any other ones.

"It’s true that Bonzo and Eliza have dark eyes, but Zed doesn’t."

"Oh he does."

"No he does not." You looked at the ceiling, starting to feel frustrated. You let Lucile’s zombies notebook fall on your bed right in front of you both. You chewed your bottom lip before speaking again, your eyes looking at every detail of your room and not at your best friend, who’s gaze didn’t leave you for a second. "Zed’s… Well his eyes are slightly the same color as milk chocolate, only a little darker I'll give you that. And when the sun hits them, they glow with this orangy brown color… Like those pictures you find when typing ‘autumn forest’ on google. Seriously, it’s funny when you think about it."

You looked at your fingers, not giving more thoughts to what you just said. Lucile though, looked at you like you were talking crazy. Her famous wide open mouth and her frowned eyebrows couldn’t believe what she just heard. She knew what you thought about boys or romance, luckily her brain was quick to connect the dots. You always talked about details, for you, love should be remembering their eye color and describing it as something precious. You once told her.

She silenced her gasp, finally understanding why you changed so much recently and why zombies suddenly got your interest when you couldn’t care less before. She never gave second thoughts about your relation with Zed, you both were really good friends who liked to hang out often, if not every single day. (Weird ) And friends who, she thought, were glued by the hips like twins would. But maybe this closeness, at a point in time, crossed a line even you haven’t noticed.

"Pause Y/n, Pause." The sudden seriousness in her tone made you perk up from your nail analysis. You had never seen a face like that on her. It made you overthink the words you have just spoken, could you had said something wrong ?

"Did you heard yourself ?"

"W-What ?"

"I am not angry, nor frustrated, nor scolding you." She tried to easy your mind. "I am only asking, did you heard yourself ?"

"What ? That Zed’s eyes looks like dumb autumn forest pictures ?"

She nodded slowly, biting both her lips in a thin line. "Can you now remind me what you always said about remembering someone’s eyes color."

You felt as if your brain spun on itself and gave your whole body a warning sign while ringing simultaneously the biggest bell that could exist. You gasped loudly, your hands flying fast to cover your mouth. "You are shitting me."

"YOU are shitting me ! Since when ?"

You stood up from your bed, realization striking you. You felt the air becoming colder in your lungs with your heart beating crazier than when it’s an exam day. Your hands felt cold, than hot, than cold, than hot again. You looked back at Lucile who was just as surprised as you, just less freaked out.

"I don’t know ! Oh god it’s bad." You were starting to feel too freaked out by this new revelation. Luckily, the scent of your room and being a calm person on a daily basis helped you step out of your mind roller coaster faster.

"I mean, you always go out together. Maybe that made it harder to notice."

Another, but tiniest, gasp escaped you. "We have an ice cream thingy tomorrow." Lucile could hear tiny ‘it’s bad’ coming from you and ‘oh god’ ‘s.

"I never undertood that ritual, every week ? Ice cream ?"

"You’re right, I am calling in sick. " You were ready to grab your phone when she snatched it away.

"First, we are going to talk about this, analyze things and won’t freak out, okay ? It is not as bad as it looks."

"I am not that freaked out, and yes it is bad. Not falling for your, other, best friend is like an unbreakable rule."

"So you are in love with Zed ?"

"I absolutely did not say that."

The girl frowned again, even with your calm demeanor you stayed in a total denial mindset. You always loved romance, but it seemed like it wasn’t the thing you were expecting to crash into your life right now. Or maybe your weren’t expecting to fall for Zed. She stretched out her hand for you to take, encouraging you to come back on the bed. You sighed, taking it before sitting back on your bed, a light sadness building in your chest.

"Can we talk about zombies culture instead ?"

"If you want, but before we’re going to dig into that little heart attack moment you just had."

"It’s just… Like I said, we’ve been like best friends lately and I just feel like I am betraying him." Your eyes met hers, a sad expression painting your features. "It’s like I am asking too much out of him. We’re friends, and now feelings get in the way and I’ll start acting weird because now I am aware of it. And what if I get even more into my head and he just feels weirded out, rejects me of some sort. I still want to hang out with him."

"Wow you got the time to think about all of that in just a minute ?" Her sentence teared the tiniest chuckle out of your lips. Lucile squeezed your hand, trying to keep you grounded in any ways she could. "I think you should be kinder to yourself. It happens to fall for friends, even if it changes things, ultimately. It is not a bad thing."

"Why him though … ?" Your question was more of a frustrated and sulking sentence to show how surprised you were.

She laughed. "I should ask you girl !"

And you followed her laughter. Maybe you got ahead of yourself and got slightly carried away by the new realisation, just maybe. You talked a bit more with Lucile, and you were thankful for her patience and the way she understood your point of view. Even if she thought that Zed looked like a very green and moldy potato, which made you laugh. She even teased you by saying how your mom would be happy to hear the news, making you grunt another slight laugh.

You knew the boy for nearly a year now, blossoming feelings shouldn’t be surprising when you knew deep down how good he looked. Getting to know each other and your souls clicking together like you just lost a thousand years finding the person that could make you spit out your whole stomach laughing along with flipping your whole mood upside down with just a word should have been a warning sign. You had fallen in love with Zed Nerodopolis.

. . .

The next day went smoothly, even if you had to mentally scold yourself every now and then because you kept looking at Zed for no reasons. You tried to brush your new feelings off, acting like usual with maybe less confidence.

He noticed, and you hopped it was just once. "Do I have some ice cream left on my face ?" A finger pointed toward his face, he stared at you.

"Nop. Not at all."

"Oh, I thought. Since you can’t stop staring." You caught on his teasing tone, his smile already trying to get under your skin just so you would say something back to him.

Usually, you would have laughed and made fun of him for suspecting you of staring. But now, all his sentences and smirks did were increasing your heartbeat and wished that your cheeks haven’t turned a deeper shade of red.

. . .

The next week at school, you thought you were doing a good job at hiding anything your heart was begging to let out. You denied with force the fact you avoided your usual safe spots to study or read, knowing full well Zed would be waiting or searching for you there. You couldn’t avoid him everywhere and everytime though, you both were too familiar with each other schedule and you could tell the boy sensed something different coming from you.

Trouble knocked at your door when Eliza found you in a room you wouldn’t usually want to be, the cheerleaders rest room. Bree offered you this refuge when Bucky and his henchmen weren’t around, nobody ever spilled the beans and you were grateful for that.

The door opened with a certain force and hurry, making you jump on your sit. Eliza stared right into your soul and a long silence followed before her voice came out of her throat.

"What is going on ?"

"What ?"

"Please don’t play dumb with me." She closed the door behind her, guarding the entrance to prevent any escape tricks from you. "Zed’s been whining all day long because you are avoiding him."

"I am not, we just saw each other." Lying wasn’t your best ability but you still tried to convince her of your enormous lie.

"According to him, he haven’t seen you since lunch." Her eyes were big, and it felt like your mom was giving you a life lesson. With this eye contact, you knew she wouldn’t be fooled by you. You always spend the next hour with Zed because of your free period in common. And for some reason, you could tell everyone noticed your change in character, even if you had tried to minimize it. "And we both know that you’ve been very discret and absent lately." And here it goes, you were doomed. "I’ll ask again, what is going on ?"

You growned in frustration and embarassement. "I don’t want to talk about it..." Running a hand over your face, you closed your laptop tossing it in your bag.

You didn’t see Eliza concerned look. "Is it something serious ? About your family or did something bad happened ?"

You were grateful for her concern, it showed you once more that the girl you first met in the library was now one of your friends.

"No, no. Nothing major. Just something really troublesome for me."

"And it has to do with Zed ?"

"H-How do you even get there when asking for my family seconds ago ?" You blushed once more, wishing you would have wore a turtleneck sweater to hide your face.

"I promise I won’t tell him, I just think we could all help you if we had some idea of what’s happening." Even trapped in the room you would have thought of a good hiding place, you knew Eliza was telling the truth and genuinely wanted to help you. You were thankful for Lucile too who haven’t said anything. With all the time she spends with the zombie girl, you always wondered if she could have let it slipped up accidentally.

You sighed, fighting your own hesitation about telling the truth or denying your crush for the rest of your life. Maybe it was time to take a step forward and get some advice from someone who knew Zed for a long time.

"I like him." You were quick to pronounce those words, afraid they would run away from you and make you lose your courage.

Eliza surprised face chased away the words she was about to say, ‘yeah, we know.’ The look on your face showed her it wasn’t the type of like you used to feel month before.

"Oh, like… Love like ?"

"I know I shouldn’t."

"I did not said that."

You pursed your lips, averting your eyes from hers. Somehow, telling Zed’s long time best friend your feelings for him was as hard, not really, as telling him. You were scared of Eliza already knowing the boy opinion on the question and that her words would come and cut every string you had tightly knotted.

"You’ve realised it last week ?" Your head nodding to her words confirmed her suspicions. After all, you’ve started making yourself more discreet a week ago. "And why not telling him ?"

"We’re best friend ! It will ruin our friendship for sure."

"And if it does not ? Maybe he feels something for you too." She didn’t want to talk for Zed, but she knew him. Even without telling her a word of his feelings, she noticed how he cared and looked out for you. If he wasn’t even the tiniest bit in love… Well screw him.

"He does not."

It felt like talking you out of your thoughts was out of the question. "If you say so, but I am warning you, he is behind the door and ready to follow you for the rest of the day."

You chuckled, shaking your head at the image of Zed almost going crazy behind the door. "I am ready for it captain."

Eliza sighed desperately at your words while you stood up, opening the door to reveal a Zed who haven't heard a thing from your girl talk.

"Oh my god finally ! I was starting to think that I should add you on my Christmas wish list to see you again." The zombie girl nearly got the time to step out of the room when the boy charged in to stand himself right in front of you.

"So I am a Christmas present now ? I knew you wanted me." His rolling eyes and frustrated features won a giggle out of you. At least your feelings didn’t wipe out your sense of humor.

"On a serious note, is everything okay ? » His tone instantly made your amused smile drop, you could see the worry in his eyes and what your avoidance made him experience. You felt like a fool.

"Yes, I promise. I just had a lot on my mind recently, but now I realise, nothing worth putting my friends aside."

Eliza stayed out of view but heard your words, it made a sweet smile grew on her lips.

"Of course it wasn’t worth, should I remember you that we are the best ?" He waited for you to confirm his words and your shaking, amused head gave him just that.

"Yes, I am sorry. Come here stinky dork." Your circled his body with your arms right below his chest to encourage him into a hug.

He chuckled at your attitude, something he had missed over the past days. His own arms came around your shoulders to pull your head into his chest, ever so careful to never squeeze you too hard.

Eliza cough made him turn his head and your own tried to look at the girl by sticking out your head from his warm hug.

"Don’t forget about the zombie party tonight." She raised her eyebrow at her zombie fella.

"Of course I won’t." His smile and nod was her cue to leave.

"You guys are having a party in Zombietown ?"

His gaze came right back to you. "Yes, I was going to invite you."

"And what made you wait that long ? " Your quirked eyebrow painted his face with false surprise, tease floating all around in the air. You freed yourself from his grasp, crossing your arms on your chest.

"Huh, I don’t know, maybe the fact that I couldn’t find you around school anymore ?"

"I deserve that one. But you could have texted me."

"I am a gentleman. If I ask a girl out, I at least put the tiniest bit of effort."

"That is the tiniest bit of effort for sure. Where are the flowers and the knee on the ground to beg me to accompany you ?"

He shook his head and his right arm came back on your shoulder to bring your body out of the room with him. "I am still pretty hurt by having been pushed away by my bestest friend, so no flowers and no chivalry demand for you. Maybe a next time. "

"So there will be a next time ?" Your sly smirk reminded him of why you both were impossible to put up with when together. The endless back and worth was inevitable. It almost looked like the other would lose the biggest battle of their life if they didn’t respond.

"You hope for a next time huh ? I got you girl." You called it quit on that one when you felt your heart scream, yet again, for the fourth time since the conversation started .

. . .

The day soon came to an end, and you heard your mother's voice calling you from downstairs.

"Comin’ !"

You applied another spray of perfume before going down the stairs at a rapid pace, the entrance hall already opened to let you take in the sight of a waiting Zed.

"Here you are honey." Your mother rested a hand on your shoulder when your body stopped next to her. She surely had been talking with Zed while you were in the bathroom. "I wish you both a good time, but be home before midnight, got it ?"

"No problem Mrs.L/n, I am sure we’ll be home before midnight since she gets sleepy pretty quickly." His eyes shared a reassuring look to your mother, but you knew better than to be fooled by a Necrodopolis. You could see under this sweet and gentleman smile of his that he was gently making fun of you.

"I am pretty sure I will not." You retorted, your head moving childishly.

Zed was amused by your usual picked on reaction and smiled even more. You didn’t noticed it, nor him, but your mother quickly looked at the both of you with a suspicious look. She was used to your forever gentle bickering with the zombie, but she could swore she felt something unusual.

"Even though, midnight it is." You mumbled a fake annoyed ‘Yes mom’ before taking your leave with the boy right next to you.

The walk until Zombietown was filled with lively conversations, yet again, reminding yourself not to look too closely or too often slipped your mind every single time.

"I can’t wait, zombies party really are the best."

"I am glad you think that. I am pretty sure the first time I brought you to one you almost got a heart attack."

He didn’t mean to fully tease you, but you took the bait anyway. "You know I can’t really handle a lot of people ! But now it’s okay, I am used to it." You tried not to sulk, even the slightest, but you still huffed like a sulking puppy.

He smiled, feeling his chest warm up in your presence each step he took. The week he spends, mostly, without you almost got him into a crazy teenage frenzy. He felt like he had lost his north star and that no path could ever bring him back to you. He had wondered, just for a second, if the feelings he felt for you could be painted by many other meanings. But as a best friend, he denied them and acted like nothing changed.

"We’re here, let’s go inside."

To be sure you wouldn’t get lost or trapped in a wave of young zombies, he took your hand in his, clearing a path for you while he had tucked you closer to him.

In the middle of it all, you could have swore your eyes caught a glimpse of Eliza bun. You were quickly diverted from that thought by Zed who tried to find a quieter spot for you to enjoy the party. The old building room was crowded, he opted for a spot near the huge escape door, enough for you to enjoy the musics and people energy without getting overwhelmed. However his attempt drowned as quickly as he got to the corner he wanted when you spotted Bonzo.

"Look it’s Bonzo mixing ! Let’s get closer !"

"Don’t you prefer to stay here ?" His hand prevented you from leaving without him.

You turned around, realizing he just did all this room search for you. You felt your heart flipping in your chest along with you cheeks turning slightly pink, that detail had completely gone over your head.

"For this once, I’ll take the zombie heat full speed ! Come on !"

You dragged the boy along with you while he murmured ‘Why don’t you take my heat full speed’ under his breath, a sentence you couldn’t possibly hear with all that noise. Once near the stage, the boy you were excited to see locked eyes with you and started waving at you two.

"Y/n’ska !" His voice got caught by his microphone making you laught. You raised your free hand as high as you could, waving it and cheering for him. He greeted you with a tumb up before turnig his attention back on his tech.

You turned your head to center your attention on Zed again, only to see his gaze already focused on you. For some reason, it felt like his eyes haven’t left you even when you had waved to Bonzo. Your lungs warned you of a lack of air before new notes of musics reached your ears. A gasp made you breath again and a look of excitement took over your features when your head turned in every direction to look at the old speakers.

"Oh my god it’s that song from Hotel Transylvania !" Your hand let go of Zed’s, only acknowledging the fact that you didn’t let go sooner now. "They usually don’t play that kind of songs." You offered him a confused look, only for his smile to grow wider. You remembered yourself vibing to the song before the lyrics laughed at you because you were, indeed, in love with a monster now.

"I may or may not gave some of your playlist to Bonzo." His voice perfectly covered the song, making you able to only hear him.

You felt the floor slip under your shoes even if your body didn’t move an inch. "Why would you do that ?"

"Because I know how much you love the songs you listen to on a daily basis. I just thought it would make you happy to hear them here too."

‘Cause I’m in love with a monster.

You bit your lower lips, your heart ready to explode. You were going to let ip slip up, the words threatened to blurp out.

Friends say I’m stupid and I’m out of my mind, but without you boy I’d be bored all the time.

"You dance ?" You offered him the same hand you had taken away from him.

"How could I say no."

Everyone danced around you and Zed and even if you weren’t that good of a dancer, you allowed yourself to bounce around like you would do in your room. Your partner successfully made you drop some coordinated moves along with him. For a few seconds, it didn’t felt like a huge and moldy old building filled with hormones and sweats. You were in your own little world where only your best friend was allowed to appear when he made you twirl and move along with him.

The song soon ended to reveal another one that you knew a little bit too well. You turned around once more to look at Bonzo vibing behind his soundboard. Zed took the chance to offer a thumb up to his bro who looked up for a second, he quickly hid his hand when you looked once again at him.

"You’re joking..." Your voice wasn’t audible with all the fuss, and he didn’t noticed your lips slightly moving with intoxicating emotions.

"What ? Told you we choose some of your favorite songs !"

He was doing it on purpose, he had to. His voice started to sing along with the song, both his hands now holding yours to make you dance out of you surprise.

A shaky sigh escaped from your mouth, you weren’t sure your body could follow more of his tricks and energy, nonetheless, you tried to dance a bit more.

‘You and me belong together all the time.’

Soon his energy got to you, and you couldn’t help but sing along as he made you twirl more and swing from left to right. You laughed a few times when his foot got tangled in the weird choreography of other people, making him move a bit less for a few seconds.

His body towered over you, and he leaned closer to sing along with your voice, "This love is all we need !" He seemed so happy, so caught up in what was hapenning. He enjoyed this moment with you, he even went as far as asking Bonzo to add songs you loved to the party. It was the details even you didn’t notice, how on the way here he had looked to see if you weren’t cold, how he had searched for a quiet place so you wouldn’t get overwhelmed. How he remembered and kept the playlist you showed him.

And from those little things, greater gesture from him came to your mind. You weren’t the only one paying attention to all the little things about him, he was paying attention to you too.

Screw your denial, you couldn’t take it anymore. You couldn’t hide nor lie a second more, your body wouldn’t allow it. « Gar gargiza ! »

Zed had stopped moving nearly at the same time as you, his eyes widened with his mouth slightly open in shock. He felt his mouth turning dry, yet, he swallowed what seemed litres of saliva. "What did you say ?" He had to make sure, he had to hear it again.

You bit your lower lip, frustrated and scared, your body slightly shaking. "Gar gargiza you dumbass !"

"You know what that means right ?"

"Oh my god I am going to kill you ! I love you Zed, and I am going crazy about it !"

As soon as the word left your lips, his arms quickly squeezed you in the biggest, neediest hug you had ever received. You squeezed him as hard as you could before he, as quickly, pushed you from him, his hands tightly holding your arms.

"Tell me I can kiss you." You eyes widened at his words, and the seconds you took to respond were enough to burn out his patience. "Please." He begged.

You felt an urge, the same one Zed’s was trying to suppress to give you space and time to think. Your hands reached to his neck, landing on his skin as you stood on you tiptoe in a quick motion. Your lips touched his. It was a rushed move that ended as soon as you tasted him. However, he didn’t want to let you go just yet. His own hands rapidly but gently grabbed the back of your head to stop you from moving too far away from him, and with a last glance at your sparkling eyes, he kissed you. This time longer, sweeter. He wanted to remember the taste of your fragile lips, he wanted to stay connected to you as long as he could. He was tender and soft against you, keeping you close yet never too strongly so you could stop him at any given moment.

He felt his last bit of control being sucked out of him when your lips moved against his. He parted from you, against his will, your eyes almost pulling him again in your touch. He looked all around him, and you wondered what was happening. Your brain had completely pushed the off button and you were barely emerging from your ecstasy when Zed hand tugged you across the room.

"W-Where are we going ?"

It took him only a few seconds to find the exit. "Sorry to drag you out, but I can’t stay in there."

You soon found yourself in a smaller room that still seemed pretty big for both of you. He turned around to face you, his hand pulling you against him as his forehead touched yours. "I love you Y/n, so so much. I don’t know why it even took so long for me to say it."

His words hit you like a truck, he had rushed you out but you now understood why. You too wanted a moment alone with him, to finally know what it feels to be loved by him. What it feels to be loved by you.

"Maybe the fact that I avoided you because I was scared of my own feelings." You breathed heavily because of the run the boy put you through, it was hard to follow mister long legs with your tiny ones.

He laughed at the inside joke you made, remembering how he had bugged you about that exact fact today. "You were ?"

"Didn’t want to lose my best friend." You confessed with teary shining eyes. Even if it wasn’t the case anymore, you could have lost him back there. His hands made their way to your cheeks, smoothing the skin under your eyes to chase any tears that threatened to pour.

"Me too." His voice admitted soon after you. "But look, now you have a lover who happens to be your best friend of all time."

You exhaled an amused breath. "Girlfriend boyfriend huh ?" You wanted to keep on saying those words, and you wanted him to keep on approving what you thought.

Luckily, Zed knew you like the back of his hand and was aware of the things going through your head. "Y/n L/n, my sweet and beautiful girlfriend." He won another shaky smile from you. "Come here gorgeous, I haven’t had enought of your kisses."

With the slightest force, he brought your face to his to smother your lips with a million kisses. It made you laugh against his skin, and he soon pampered kisses all over your face.

"S-Stop ahah !"

"Never."

Your hands grabbed his wrist to show your, non-existent, protest. When he attacked your lips again with quick kisses, your own opened to surprise him with a bigger and even more needy kiss. Your move worked as his face stepped back with a really surprised look.

"What was that ?"

"What was what ? " You played dumb, earning a childish smile from him.

"What was that big kiss just now ? Were you trying to bite me ?" He kissed the corner of your mouth, giggling with you.

You took him in your arms, resting your head on his chest. His breathing appeased your emotions and thoughts, and you sensed the same could be said for him as his head came to rest on yours.

"Can I sleep at you place tonight ?" His demand was quiet.

"You’ll have to ask my mom."

"She loves me, of course it's going to be yes."

You sighed, of course she would say yes to Zed, it was Zed."She spoils you too much... "

[tayaalovsx]

౨ৎ|INTIMATE TIME

author here!; BASICALLY I AM A FAN OF THE INTIMATE TIME (scared of it truly) SO YES I DECIDED TO MAKE THIS! read at ur own risk

warnings!; suggestive themes, haven't written pure smut, since oh well not a fan, fan

prompt!; 'let me give you a good time, sugar'

-

Touya was never the one to seek physical affection. He hated to be touched, to touch people was okay, but not when they did it back. He was confused as to why some women liked him, truly, but he didn't mention it.

Lately this one woman, who has been part of his everyday schedule was way too irresistible. She always wore lip gloss, pink color. He could taste the strawberries on his tongue. Her hair was blondish to brown, very silk. It was clear she took care of herself, judging by how perfectly her body proportions were.

Her tights, they were big, just how he would like it. When she stood up they would lightly move as her butt swayed side to side. She had the perfect cat walk, and her posture was the most amazing thing on her. The way her arms, were not thin, but not and fat. She was perfect, tick and so very beautiful.

The tattoo on her chest always made an excuse for him to take a look of her breasts. She had noticed him, as every woman would and called him a creep but he didn't care. It made her even more attractive.

One day, everyone were off with their day. Touya, was ready to go on with his day per usual, but what caught his eyes, was the fact she has not moved an inch from the shared bar, sitting, her legs crossed over one another, as she chewed a gum, creating a bubble from time to time.

"Got nothing to do?" he asked her, making the girl turn to him. All this time she has seen him as a very...unsane person. He wasn't a man who should be trusted and she knew it. To answer his question was a very easy task, yet she took it under big thinking

"Not really, what about you burned guy? Got any other sages to throw out?" She asked right back shutting off her phone turning her attention right on him. Her words should have made him to snap at her, comment worse on her own appearance but he didn't.

"Very funny. But no, I really don't have anything to do" It was a lie. Lying through his teeth, Touya seated himself beside her. She only raised her eye brow, before letting out a scoff

"Yeah sure, and I am Santa Claus" she mumbled annoyed, before opening her phone again. By the lack of attention, Touya frowned, his eye brows scrunching up as he just narrowed his eyes at her.

"You look like him" he let the words slip from his lips. Her eyes shot to him and she put down her phone.

"What did you say to me, burned chicken? Did you breathe more marijuana then usual?" She snapped at him, her words sharp. She meant them, and it was not going to be a surprise for Touya to get offended. But he didn't instead he leaned on to his palm and looked at her in somekind love stuck stare

"I love it when you insult people. You look so sexy" he said simply, a small grin on his face. That left her stunned as she stood still for a moment debating as to where to turn this conversation to.

"Sexy? Are you hearing yourself?" She asked in disbelief. He only chuckled and moved closer to her, making the woman in front of him to take a little turn back. He only clicked his tongue and got off the chair, spinning her own, so that she could face him

"Listen, sugar. I have been craving you. For your body, for your personality, for you. I want you, to get with me, back to my room, and scream my name. Screw the relationship beforehand, I want you" He spoke his voice serious, yet filled with mischief.

She stood stunned her words caught in her throat as she didn't know how to react. He only hummed and held her waist as he pulled her over his shoulder. Putting his hand on the end of her butt he patted it lightly, feeling her wiggle

"Let me go! I never agreed!"

"You didn't disagree" he shot back and carried her off to his room. "Let me show you a good time, sugar"

"Fuck you!"

"In a minute"

𝜗𝜚! lover girl xoxo

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

LAST ONE OF THE WEEK!

129 for☠️:

---

 It does feel a little weird to be celebrating, given the reason for  his reinstatement. But everyone is clearly relieved to have him back. 

Bobby cooks an orange-ginger chicken dish that Athena personally loves. She swears his cooking has an extra special flavor to it, now that he’s back. There was just something missing about it, while he was away from his team. Athena sits between her husband and Hen, pleased with the food and the company. 

Down the table, she notices Buck and Eddie sitting very close together. Like shoulders touching, even as they eat. Eddie is saying something quietly to Buck, making him laugh boisterously. Really? Is it that funny, Buck?  They’re normally strange, but this seems a little excessive, even for them. 

Hmm. 

Athena remembers what Eddie said during that first night of police interviews.

He hasn’t liked me since he and Buck started dating, I don’t know why. We used to be friends.

She doesn’t know why she’s focusing on it. It’s probably nothing. 

After the meal, Bobby packs up leftovers. 

“Hen, you want me to put a container aside for school lunches?” Bobby asks. “It reheats well.”

“Oh, no thank you,” Hen replies. “I can’t actually. Mara is really allergic to sesame.” 

Hen and Karen only got Mara back a few weeks ago. It was a long and hard fight. Only made easier by the hospitalization and subsequent resignation of Olivia Ortiz after an event the city has dubbed “Bee-Nado.” Athena didn’t know a woman could survive so many bee stings. Evidently, there were some long term consequences. Athena would feel worse if she hadn’t made her friends’ lives hell, fighting for their daughter. 

“Oh, I didn’t know that,” Bobby says. 

“Yeah,” Hen sighs. “Guess she almost died in her group home, a couple of weeks in. She didn’t tell anyone because she wouldn’t talk, and… It was bad.”

“That’s so scary,” Athena frowns. “Poor little girl.”

Hen nods. “Luckily someone had an epipen.”

Athena can’t help but think of Gerrard. About the epipen that could have saved his life.

“Right,” she replies. “Luckily.”

▪️▪️▪️

The final thing that happens is silly, really. It doesn’t mean anything. Not really. 

Except Athena thinks it probably means quite a lot. 

A few days after her dinner at the firehouse, she’s grocery shopping. Usually Bobby’s chore, but he’s busy getting back into the swing of things. Still, he insists she go to his special supermarket. The one with the better bakery bread! So that’s where she goes. 

She is walking towards said bakery section, when she sees them. Or, scratch that. First, she hears them. Giggling like a couple of damn school girls.

“We don’t have any good reason to get whipped cream!”

“I can think of three fantastic reasons to get whipped cream.”

Athena turns towards the sound of their familiar voices and sees it. The very thing she had wondered about the other night. Buck and Eddie, walking hand in hand, lost in a sickeningly honeymoon phase-like bubble. It has been less than two weeks since Buck dumped Tommy. But these two seem awfully coupley. 

They freeze when they see her. Drop each other’s hands. As if they can deny it. And why should they, right? They haven’t done anything wrong. They’re allowed to date each other. Sure, Athena hadn’t known Eddie was interested in dating men at all, but that’s not a problem. And she suspects that’s not why Eddie looks caught red-handed. 

“Hi, Eddie. Hi, Buck,” she greets them. She’s not going to pretend she’s not thinking about what she’s looking at. 

“Oh, hey, A-Athena,” Buck stammers, cheeks going a little red. 

“Hey,” Eddie adds. 

“And how long has this been going on?” She asks them.

“Not long!” Buck insists. 

“Very new,” Eddie agrees. 

Those aren’t answers. At least not specific ones. 

“Mhm,” Athena nods. “Well, congratulations. I’m happy for you both. And happy you’re not taking that breakup too hard, Buck.”

Buck’s expression goes a little slack. 

That’s when Athena knows for sure. Something is wrong here.

v.

It would be easy to let a normal frame-job story play out in her head. So easy, in fact, that she’s surprised no one else has even considered it. Really, if they did do it, they did such a good job that they avoided all suspicion. If only they’d held out a little longer on the PDA. 

It would be easy to convince herself this was all Buck and Eddie. 

They were both miserable under Gerrard’s captaincy. They were in love with each other, but Buck had a boyfriend. Buck had access to Tommy’s kitchen. He could have swapped the pitchers. He could have lied about his knowledge of Gerrard’s allergy. He could have read the murder mystery party planning document as his boyfriend put together the event. He has his own allergy - naproxen. He could have had an epipen, an expired one. Buck could have done a lot of this. 

And that thought terrifies Athena. 

If Bobby’s reaction to Jonah and Tommy being killers had been bad? How will he take Buck? And Eddie as his willing accomplice?  He won’t. Simply, it will destroy him. Break his already fragile heart. Athena knows that. 

Maybe it’s with that in mind that she pokes holes in her own story. 

For one thing, why frame Tommy? Killing Gerrard and getting Tommy out of the picture seem like separate issues. Buck may have good reasons to hate Gerrard, but he’s not senselessly cruel. Why frame an innocent man he could have just dumped?

[miitarashi]

Could u do a some headcannons about Tintin laughing, like, his sense of humour, how contagious his laugh is, what he would do if we had a contagious laugh or a weird sense of humour. Just wondering coz I was watching an episode from the series and his laugh is acctually so adorable, like bro I just wanna hug him and give him literally anything he wants ❤️

AWWW THIS IS WAY TOO CUTE TO BE IGNORED I MUST DO IT WITH ALL THE CUTENESS IN THE WORLD! (sorry got a little excited here lol)

☆Tintin laugh headcanons☆

For starters.

He and Haddock have the worst sense of humor possible.

I can't take this out of my mind-

Like,he'll laugh at dad jokes or will not undestand because he'll try to seak sense into the joke.

You know when you tell a self-deprecating jokes in front of your parents and they scold you?

Yes,he'll do it.

Not exactly scold you,but will wait until you stop laughing to ask if you're ok in a worried tone.

His normal sense of humor goes for that one joke of the chicken who crossed the road to make """funny""" comments about something. That normally is funny just for him in the most of the times he does it.

But,Tintin of course laugh at silly things too,like if you trip in front of him he'll do this little cute laugh while helping and saying for you to be careful.

It's not exactly the type with loose laugh,but definitly not the difficult one either.

This when we talk about the Tintin from the series,but Tintin from the movie is a bit different (since unfortunaly in the movie we didn't see he really laughing and this hurt me 🥲)

He probably is a bit complicated to laugh, his sense of humor mostly making puns, sarcastic or ironic comments about something.

Being more funny when he do without noticing because he's a little menace in his own way. We can easily see it when he talk with sakharin for the first time (his face when he simply say "i don't have it" is the best lol)

Now,the best for the last.

His ✨Laugh✨

He have three types. Wait,hear me out-

The one he try to hide,that little laugh cleaning the throat and looking away you know?

The second and most normal is that small laugh. Quick and polite.

The thrid. This one. This one is hard to get. It's random so something funny and random had to happen.

i headcanon that take a really good while for Haddock hear Tintin (from the movie) really laughing like,really bursting out laughing.

And just like i said,it was random. Haddock was trying to help Tintin with a hint about some old mistery and he terribly pronounced an entire sentence with so much confidence to the point of making Tintin ask him to repeat it, when he did, Tintin stared at him for a few seconds, connected the dots and broke out laughing.

Bro wasn't really expecting lol.

And his laugh is good to hear,like that heart warming type of laugh that makes you smile and wanting to hear it again as much you can you know???

He do it so less often that makes him weak when he laugh like this,he hold onto someone to keep still lol.

___________________________________________

A/N: HERE IT IS! I loved doing this one lol. i hope that when the next movie come out WE WILL BE ABLE TO HEAR HIM LAUGHING OR I'LL COMMIT WAR CRIMES- i feel robbed 🥲. Thank you for the delicious idea unknow person,love u 😌❤️

[togrowoldinv]

A Few Chicks

Natasha Romanoff x Female Reader

Spending the perfect Saturday with Natasha and your kids

Note: This is some soft mama Nat as always. I hope you enjoy it!

Natasha Romanoff Masterlist 1, Natasha Romanoff Masterlist 2, Main Masterlist

Saturday mornings are your favorite. Natasha usually wakes up early and goes for a run. She gets back in time for your early risers to be greeted by her.

She always lets you sleep in. No matter how overwhelmed she might be with the kids, she takes care of them. You then wake up and get breakfast going for the family.

Your whole family is gathered around the table for breakfast today just like every weekend.

Natasha kisses your cheek and sits down next to you.

“What is one thing everyone wants to do this weekend?” She asks.

“Play some basketball maybe,” Ivan answers first.

“Only if you feel like losing,” Ali teases him.

“Be nice,” you lightly scold her. Natasha lets out a chuckle. “What’s so funny?”

“It’s just-“ she shrinks a little under your gaze.

“No no, tell me.”

“You’re the most competitive person I know and you scolding the kids for it is just comical. That’s all,” Natasha explains.

She kisses your lips quickly before she continues talking to the kids. She’ll definitely be hearing about this later.

“Ice cream!” Taylor shouts when Nat asks her what she wants.

“Maybe later, baby. What about you, Belle?” You ask her. She squints her eyes to make a thinking face. “Keep thinking. We’ll come back to you, sweetheart.”

“What about you, Jack?” Natasha jumps back in.

The young teen boy shrugs. “Just relax.”

“Sounds great, bud,” you say. “Belle?”

“I wanna get chickens,” she says. There’s no hesitance to her answer this time.

“Chickens?” Natasha asks. She smiles at her daughter’s randomness.

“Uncle Clint has them,” Belle explains. Apparently that’s enough logic for her.

“I’m not opposed to chickens,” you say.

“You’re kidding,” Nat says. “We don’t have a home for them.”

“We can build one,” you say simply. “All in favor of getting chickens please raise your hand.”

Everyone raises their hand except for Natasha.

“The family has spoken,” you say, with a smile on your face. “Let’s go to the park for a while and then get some chicks.”

You send the kids to get dressed for the day. Natasha is getting dressed in the bathroom when you walk by and drop a kiss to her bare shoulder.

“I love you,” you tell her. You see her smile in the mirror.

“I love you too, detka. But-“

“But?”

“Chicks? Babe I’m just not sure this is the best idea,” Nat says.

“It’s gonna be great. I always had them growing up and it’s so fun,” you explain. “Maybe it’ll teach the kids some responsibility, yeah?”

“Maybe,” she says noncommittally.

You leave her to get dressed. All of the kids are surprisingly ready to go when you go back to the living room. Loading them up in the car, Natasha drives to the park.

Ivan and Ali play basketball while you help Taylor and Belle play on the playground. Nat sits with Jack under a tree while he reads a book.

It’s the perfect morning for the family. Later in the day, you go back home but not before stopping for ice cream. You sneak away with Belle to go buy a some chicks.

She’s adorable as she picks them out. You buy what you need to get started and drive back to your house.

“Go get Mama,” you tell Belle once you get her out of her car seat.

You unload the chicks and their temporary home. Natasha comes outside with the other kids.

“We got chicks!” Belle shouts, running back towards you.

“We did indeed. Just a few to start.”

“What are you naming them, krasivaya?” Natasha asks her.

Nat picks one up and let’s the kids pet it. You can already tell she likes them more than she’ll admit.

“Umm, this one is Wanda,” she says. A fit of laughter follows.

“After Aunt Wanda?” You ask her.

“Yes! Number two is named,” she begins, and thinks on it deeply, “Sam.”

“You don’t have to name them after your aunts and uncles, sweetheart,” you explain.

“But I want to.”

“Okay baby. How about we all name this late one?”

Everyone throws out names but ultimately you end up on Pickles, a very interesting name for a chick.

“Wanda, Sam, and Pickles,” Natasha says. “Welcome to the family, chicks.”

The rest of the day is spent with the kids gawking over the chicks and a couple of calls to Wanda and Sam to inform them of their namesakes.

The kids settle into bed early, so you and Nat snuggle onto the couch to watch a movie.

“Do you like the chicks?” You ask her.

“I do yeah,” Nat admits.

“Not such a bad idea after all, huh?”

“I guess not,” she reluctantly admits.

You pull her in for a kiss and she returns it easily.

“Remember how you called me competitive earlier?” You ask her. She nods. “Would you like to see how competitive I am?”

Her brow raises as a smirk rests on her lips. You stand up and pull her to the bedroom.

Saturday’s are definitely your favorite day.