#i dont have the spoons to unpack everything i heard tonight but i nearly choked
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Fuchsia? 😂
#“THERE ARE 4 THINGS WE DON'T TALK ABOUT WHEN ME AND THE ALPHA BITCHES ARE TOGETHER THE FIRST BEING DICKS!”#“SECOND POLITICS THIRD HOW GOOD I AM AT SNATCHING DICK THAT MY NICKNAME IS SWIPER”#“4TH HOW I TRICKED MY CHILD INTO KILLING 2 LIVE LOBSTERS IN THE BACK OF MY TRUCK”#i was just trying to get to the bar to get my free margarita and chicken fajita now this feels personal#this is what happens when a pack of middle class white women go into the mexican restaurant for free margarita night#“OH CLAUDINE LOOK AT THIS MANS DICK PIC I GOT SENT”#cue me walking past and saying under my breath “swiper no swipping”#took them 5 seconds then they cackled like hyenas#i dont have the spoons to unpack everything i heard tonight but i nearly choked#i dont mean to evesdrop but when you're loudly talking about dicks and lobsters that's gonna turn some heads#and theres definitely that one person in the room hearing both those things and thinking: DINNER#i came out here for a free meal free drink and to sit out on the deck looking at the river peacefully and break my cabin fever#but nahhh#theres a reason i dont go out much#fuchsia is my vent word for good things#i need another pink variant for magenta and fuchsia events#cause yes this was funny as shit but also: CLAUDINE CAN YOU TAKE YOUR ALPHA BITCHES SOMEWHERE ELSE?#YOURE MAKING THE REST OF US WHITE PPL LOOK BAD#I WOULD LIKE TO COME BACK HERE#YES WERE STRANGERS BUT JFC GIRL YOU GOTTA REIGN IN THAT SWIPER REPUTATION#IM NOT A PRUDE MORE POWER TO YOU FIGHTING THE GOOD FIGHT WITH ALL THE DICKS YOU APARENTLY COLLECT#I JUST HOPE Y'ALL HAVE A DESIGNATED DRIVER AND A COUPLE TETANUS SHOTS ON HAND CAUSE DAMN
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