#got obsessed with these nonexistent lesbians

[seasonal-depression-of-punk]

You ever just steal your girlfriend’s giant t shirt?

Some gender bend Joepunk as a nice little sign that GUYS I STILL DRAW💔

[dyke-quixote]

May I request Yi Sang headcanons. Color me intrigued

YES you may.... there's going to be uh a lot ...

He/it transmasc butch lesbian

Vagina and tdick

Just now back on testosterone after he wasn't allowed any when in the White Room/N Corp (even if he was allowed it he wouldn't have remembered to do the shot anyway)

Is the only Sinner allowed to handle his own prescriptions and medication because of trauma. He didn't ask for this but Faust offered and he didn't turn her down.

Definitely sees Dongbaek in Faust and is trying to be normal about it.

Had a very badly done hysterectomy in N Corp after an equally shitty abortion. The mother is unknown, due to timing it could have been Dongbaek or Gubo. They refused to tell him and he wasn't in a state to ask.

Actually he thinks it was Sang Yi's child, or at least he did. He tends to have moments of clarity about the truth but overall his time in the White Room are more or less nonexistent.

Very close to his IDs and tends to keep some of their traits and personality for a bit after having them removed. Also can and does willingly let them use his body so it's not uncommon to see him acting different at times.

Does he actually have DID and is using his mirror technology and obsession with it to act as a self-masking technique? Maybe. A complex issue where mental and technological problems meet. He had his sense of sense eroded and to him alters and IDs are one and the same. Contrasts but also compliments Faust and the Gesellschaft.

Tends to be lithromantic. flighty around love and courtship. gets crushes easily but tends not to want them to be reciprocated. casual sex is more of his go-to. low confidence means he is always taken by surprise when people want him. has a huge heart but has built walls around it. spicebush and blade lineage are much more confident and thus flirty.

self-harm scars on thighs and wrists. right thumb and forefinger have small burn scars from getting to close to the concept incinerator

ehler-danlos syndrome. hypermobile joints leading to dislocations and weakness when overexerted. easy bruising. chronic pain and fatigue. insomnia. occasional muscle weakness. depression and a dissociative disorder. autism. there is some serious ptsd in this man.

Some IDs tend to be more willing to do drugs than others. Yi Sang does smoke but it's more prominent in Blade Lineage. cannabis, mushrooms, other ‘natural’ substances are more prominent in Spicebush. self-medication via abuse of prescriptions is more prominent in W Corp and Seven. Ring does everything and more. L Corp is Netzach-coded.

Born and raised in a small town within S Corp’s district. grew up doing manual labor and working the land. A country boy at heart. He still prefers rural areas, despite his time working for T Corp, or perhaps especially because of it. He grew up alongside Dongbaek and Dongrang and the two were mostly inseparable, often playing in the mud and fields away from adults.

Yi Sang and Dongbaek came out as transgender together early into their teenage years. Dongbaek technically started her transition first, and she was the first one Yi Sang spoke to about his gender issues. They helped each other, trading clothing and advice. As they got older, chores kept them busy but they still looked forward to the firework festivals. Dongbaek and Dongrang continued to work in the fields while Yi Sang got a job designing farm equipment.

By the time he became an adult, the situation in District 19 was unstable, many of the farms obsolete due to the Smoke from the energy giant that was L Corp. Despite attempting to invent and design things to help the economy, the Wing had seemingly no interest in improving the lives of their feathers in the backstreets.

Dongbaek was his first partner and they had an on and off relationship pretty much the whole time they knew each other

Dongrang had a crush on Yi Sang and tended to be jealous of Dongbaek, leading to spats that Yi Sang always tried to patch up.

Gubo.... oh they’re fucked up actually. Gubo has always been a bit obsessed with Yi Sang and it led to an unhealthy and manipulative relationship. Yi Sang loved him, in a way. Not romantically, but in a way of codependency and cycles of abuse can create.

Faust was the only solid ground Yi Sang had for a long time. It is no surprise he found himself attached to her. They are very similar, often talking about inventions and philosophy. They see the world very differently, but it means that the work they produce together is something of a masterpiece. Mephistopheles is something they both bonded over perfecting.

Yi Sang crushes on almost all the Sinners in some way but he doesn't really want a relationship with any of them, besides Faust. Maybe Dante too. He has plenty of casual sex with them all, though.

Due to trauma from his abortion he has a very strong parental instinct. This shows up a lot when dealing with regressing Sinners. He himself does not really regress in the same way, although some of his IDs can.

I haven't thought a lot about his IDs in while I should..... I love him....

[reinaazarolla]

Is that REINA AZAROLLA? A SENIOR originally from SEVILLE, SPAIN, they decided to come to Ogden College to study SOCIOLOGY. They’re THE EXCHANGE STUDENT on campus, but even they could get blamed for Greer’s disappearance.

This is additional and updated info for the new school year (2023-2024). Original intro can be found here.

APPEARANCE (UPDATED)

HAIR COLOR → naturally dark brown, currently blonde TATTOOS → small paper airplane outline on the inside of her right ring finger. new addition is a small camera outline on the side of her right index finger courtesy of Link SCARS → some scarring from the fire at the commons. most noticeable is upper left thigh wrapping from the front to the side. less noticeable are some spots on her right forearm. almost nonexistent, small burn her neck left side closer to the back. the best medical treatment her parents could find helped her heal. PIERCINGS → two in each lobe and one helix, left ear. new addition is a nose piercing, small stud on right side

FAMILY INFORMATION (UPDATED)

PETS → german shepard (male) named baltasar

SCHOOL YEAR 2022-2023 RECAP

hospital/medical/surgical mention tw

First semester, she studied abroad in Portugal.

Second semester, luckily she didn't have too many encounters with G but she was determined to try to find them.

She became a bit obsessed, even thought about hiring a private investigator.

School year ended with a bang, she got trapped in the commons when the fire started and thought the best route of escape was straight through the flames. It did not end well. The next thing she knew she was waking up in the hospital.

SUMMER SHENANIGANS

Since Reina was seriously injured at the end of the school year her parents were extra protective. Here are some highlights:

hospital/medical/surgical mention tw, drug use tw

Reina was not allowed to travel alone and her parents basically took her phone away. They got her a new one with a new number and everything but they put spyware on it as a safety precaution.

They kept her old phone to monitor as well in case G reached out.

She was strongly discouraged to post on social media or reach out to friends (this is an ic excuse for my ooc disappearance and not being active during the "summer" months lol)

She traveled around Europe with her parents to the best doctors to treat her burns and even got some skin graft done on the worst of the burns of her arm and neck. Other treatments like ointments were used to help with the scarring.

Reina was assigned a body guard, courtesy of her father.

The first half of the summer she stayed with her mom who was traveling around Europe for work. Some nights she'd sneak out and go clubbing or find whatever seedy party/rave she could and indulge in drink and drugs - she wasn't coping well with how the school year ended.

The second half of the summer was spent at their current home in Berlin where she spent a lot of time with her dad.

She learned a lot more of both her parent's jobs during this time together.

Her parents got her a german shepard to help her cope but also another protection measure.

She got a nose piercing.

She dyed her hair blonde, at one point she thought about shaving her head but was talked out of it.

POTENTIAL PLOTS

Literally down for any plot, these are some off the top of my head. Message me if interested.

Detective Buddies - Reina isn't as obsessed to find G as she was last year but I could see herself potentially getting into some trouble teaming up with someone who wants to end this hell as much as she does. She also may want some revenge.

Fake Dating - She's a lesbian and most people know that but she wouldn't be opposed to fake dating with any gender. She can be someone's beard for all she cares. Have I been getting a lot of fake dating book recs on TikTok lately...shhhh we don't need to talk about it lol

more to be added...I skipped to the connections and now I can't think of other plots

WANTED CONNECTIONS

Again, literally down for anything. Message me if interested in any of these or you have some other ideas!

If I mislabeled our connections or forgot them please let me know! My brain is tired. I did leave out generic friends and acquaintance labels.

Study buddies - Whether they study together in silence or there is tutoring involved, they can bond over academics. (1 /∞) one spot taken by @montyrichler

Past Fling - Nothing serious, or at least no one admitted serious feelings. (1/5) one spot taken by @mari-zuko

Frenemies - Friends in public, enemies in private, or vice versa. (0/??)

Confidant - Someone Reina can tell anything to, or maybe Reina is your muses confidant. They can be each other's confidant too. (0/2) two spots open if Reina and your muse are not each other's confidants.

Current fling - When the nights get lonely and the are you up or wyd texts get sent. (0/??)

more to be added

[rainbowfurbylove]

      Dasni woke up in his bed,  alone. He was a twink with a major obsession with cock and ball torture. He was also a he/him lesbian. He loved getting butt fucked. He wished his crush, would butt fuk him, perchance, mayhaps, even. His crush was Fiji, the most popular water in school. “Erm…” Dasani-chan started flicking his bean. It was suuuuuper small. It's like two inches. “UWU I wish Elijah could see my cock. He’d relate sooooooo much!” Elijah was Dasani-chan’s bestie, uwu. “DESsuSUUUUUUUUUUU” Dasani-chan screamed as he creamed. He also squirted because he's a water bottle. He wanted Fiji to impregnate him. Then he heard his mommy wommy calling him from downstairs. It was feeding time, it was time for him to suckle upon the breast of his creator for sustenance. He also had an e-girl Tumblr. He went downstairs to see his mother with her tits out. His mom is Tucker Carlson by the way. “Come hither my offspring, your nutrition is ready.” Said Tucker Carlson. Dasani-chan crawled to his spawn point and began to greedily suck the tit juice from his mommy. “Now go and get ready for school, you abomination to god.”

Dasani-chan went back up to his room which was the bathroom because he liked to sleep in the bathtub at night and sippy sip on the toilet water when he got thirsty. When he got to his room he put on his maid outfit and his 12-inch platform boots. He then grabbed his bookbag and went outside to the bus stop to wait for his bus. Dasani-chan was a 14-year-old freshman who went to Ligma Balls High School. Or lbhs for short. The atmosphere of the school was kind of depressing tbh. Everyone was still recovering from young Ben shapiro’s suicide. He overdosed on Flinstone’s gummies in the girl’s locker room. The story goes that he cheated on his boyfriend, Jesus, with the high school bad boy scooby doo. Jesus and Ben were the year above Dasani-chan. They never interacted much but Dasani-chan has biology with Jesus. Anyway, Jesus was treated as a god, or the son of god, due to his boyfriend offing himself. There was a portrait of Ben hanging in the cummins of the highschool. It looked really bad. Ben was wearing a pink maid outfit. 

Dasani-chan headed over to his locker. He opened it up and saw Jesus inside. Jesus stepped out from the locker with a somber face. “Uh, hey there baby girl.” Jesus said with finger guns. He flirted with everyone, it was his thing, he was just hot. “Errrrm, how can I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I h-help you, sir?” Dasani-chan stuttered. “I hear you have an A+ in Biology, I was thinking maybe you could help me on a project.” “ERRRRm….” *Dasani-chan shit himself from nervousness, he could feel the liquid shit running down his nonexistent leg*..... “Suuuuure, but I have one request *tips fedora*” “Oh sure anything.” Jesus said with excitement. “I would like you, to be my wingman in my pursuit of the lady gentleman known as Fiji Water.” Dasani-chan said. “Ummmm, aren’t you guys related?” Jesus asked, Dasani-chan gave him a look that shut him up. “Ok, you’ve got a deal” Jesus said. Jesus turned and walked away. You could see the waistband of his Hanes boxers peeking out from his skin-tight black jeans that he could barely walk in. Rumor has it that he used to wear tighty whities but he changed after Ben’s death. He’s just that bitch(tm) now. 

Fast forward to biology class. Dasani-chan sat down in the back of the classroom and proceeded to take a nice long sip of his cumminade. This was a new energy drink that was super popular and hip with the middle schoolers these days. It was made by dream so all these kids were running around screaming “THAT’S WHAT The MASK IS!!! THAT’S WHAT THE POINT OF THE MASK IS.”. Dasani-chan’s little brother, Britta, was obsessed with the Dream smp even though they broke up and are now irrelevant, because dream touched children. 

Jesus strutted over to Dasani-chan and said, “Heeeeey there Baby gourl.” He had to say it like shrek so dasani-chan knew he was kidding. Jesus was too hot for him. Jesus had standards. He is LITERALLY the son of GOD. Rumor has it he stole God’s credit card and bought a dodge hellcat and a bunch of mods. Don’t worry, He’s insured. “S-s-so…. Erm…. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING OF FOR THIS PROJECT?!?!?!” Dasani-chan yelled/stuttered while he shit himself because he only eats copious amounts of laxative chocolates. “Eww what is that smell?” said Jesus. “O-o-o-oh I just have the runs if you know, you know.” Jesus looked at him disgusted. 

Dasani-chan had already finished his project so Jesus just started copying off of him, but with bigger and better words. Dasani-chan was quite illiterate. “Anyway strawberry shortcake is throwing one of her parties….. Fiji will probably be there. I can get you ready, plus I have all exclusive access to the basement.” said Jesus. “Golly gosh son of god that sounds like a real spectacle!” Said the bottled H2O “Never say some stupid ass shit like that again you fucking dumbass.” “Sorry, I'm just so excited for this party.” “Alright, you can meet me at my place at 4:00 pm tonight so we can start to get ready for the party. My address is 420 analwart cream dr.” “Rightio daddio, I’ll be there in a jiffy.” Dasani-chan jumps out the window and starts running off into the distance. “What the actual fuck is wrong with him?” said Jesus.

Jesus walks into his house and straight to the fridge. His mother was at the hospital doing brain surgery. She works very long hours. He opens the fridge to find Dasani-chan. “WHAT THE FUCK, How’d you get into my house?!” Jesus exclaimed. “SSHHHhHHhhhhhhhhh…… You don’t want the mice to hear…” Dasani-chan said while shushing Jesus with a carrot. “WHat? There are no mice here.” Jesus said. “Were….” Dasani-chan said. Jesus rushed Dasani into his room before he could do any more damage. 

The two start getting ready for the party. Jesus gave Dasani-chan his Happy Daze shirt. Jesus was quite perplexed as to what to do with Dasani-chan. He was just a water bottle. He had no face. Jesus settled for just sticking some fake eyelashes where he thought Dasani-chan’s eyes should be. “Ermm… do you have any of those little chocolate laxatives? I can feel my wittle tummy grumbling.” Dasani-chan asked shamelessly. “Uuuuuh, No? My mom might…. Um I’ll be right back…..” Jesus said. ‘“What the fuck have I gotten myself into….” Thought Jesus. 

              Jesus came back into the room with Dasani’s laxatives. Dasani somehow ate them despite not having a mouth. “Ok, so listen, I’m not really allowed to have friends over, so you’re gonna have to leave. This was a lie. “Ope okie dolkie uwu. Dasani-Chan waddled out the door. Dasani-waddled his way the 3 miles down the road to his house and barged through the door. “I’m home mommy wommy!!!!! Tucker Carlson didn’t answer. She was probably busy filming a collab with James Charles or some shit idk.

Dasani-chan waddled into his room, leaving a trail of liquid shit behind him. He went in his room and chugged a bucket of his own homemade cumminade. He then spent the rest of the time until the party rewatching Ron Desantis cock and ball torture porn. A few hours later, it was time for Dasani-chan to leave. He waddled out the door, layed on his side, and started rolling on down the street. 

Dasani-chan was able to sneak passed the security at the party. The first thing he did once he was on the inside was locate the bathroom. He raided the bathroom of any and all laxatives, chocolate or not. He was a hungry lesbian. He then made his way out to the dance floor and started busting it down sexual style. Dasani-chan noticed that Jesus had arrived, and tried to fight his way through the crowed to go see him, he was unsuccessful. It was at that moment he noticed his crush, Fiji-senpai, dancing in a corner. Dasani-waddled his way over to him, with a shit eating grin on his face. 

Fiji noticed him and tried to get away,  but Dasani-chan managed to corner him. “H-h-hey there daddy waddy!!!” he said. Fiji looked at him in horror. “Would you like to come dance with whittle old meeehhhh?!?!?!” Dasani-chan asked, in his anime voice. “Ummm I think I’m good, thanks tho.” Fiji answered with a look of disgust on his face. Dasani-chan then proceeded to start rolling around on the floor crying while screaming “PWEEEAASE DANCE WITH ME UWUWU!!!!”. People started to look over. “Hey there bro, what’s good?” Jesus was standing over Dasani-chan. “You know this loser?” Fiji asked Jesus. Jesus leaned in and whispered something to Fiji. Fiji looked back down at Dasani-chan and said,”Fine, I’ll dance with you, but only if you shut tf up.” Dasani looked up at him, with Tears in his eyes, and smiled. “Weeeally????” Fiji looked to Jesus for help but he was nowhere to be found. Dasani-chan and Fiji then started waddling around in circles, the closest thing to a slow dance. Dasani-chan was so excited. He could feel his two-inch member growing. He started making small anime girl moans. He then felt the warm, arousing, feeling of shit running down his non-existent pant leg. As the shit hit the floor, He shot a load of his baby batter onto the floor, right in front of Fiji-senpai. Someone in the room started screaming, and the rest of the room followed suit. “Oooopsi poopsie dooopsi…I made a poopoo mess on the ground. UWU!!!!.” Dasani-chan said. Fiji-senpai then looked at him, paused, and then smirked. “Hey, that was kind of hot, how about we go somewhere more private?”. Fiji then led Dasani-chan upstairs to one of the bedrooms.

They went upstairs to the master bedroom. Fiji-senpai looked down at Dasnsin-chan’s shit-covered cock. It was throbbing and pulsating with excitement. Fiji-senpai then took his tiny dick, which was about the length of his tongue, and put it in his mouth. His shit tasted like a colonoscopy. He licked Dasani-chan’s dick cleaner than a Mexican lady could clean a house.

Dasani’s cock was so small, smaller than your average white man’s cock. You see, Dasani-chan suffered from ED. Also known as erectile dysfunction. Even when it was hard it was somehow still soft and flaccid and cold. It was very sad. Fiji-senpai then rolled Dasani-chan over and just started pounding away at his plastic bubble butt. Dasani-chan had an absolute DUMPY. He actually had a Brazilian butt lift when he was 7 years old. Shortly after that Fiji-chan came in his ass. 

After that absolute monstrosity of a scene, The pair went their separate ways. 

(In SpongeBob narrator's voice) Two Weeks LATER………

Dasani was walking through the halls of Ligma Ballz High, when he felt a rumbling in his tummy. He thought he was just having his normal day to day runs, but something was off. He was walking right in front of Ben Shapiro’s portrait, when a log of shit flew out of his ass, and hit the painting. Then something fell out of the ball of shit. It was a child. Dasani-chan decided to name it Aqualfina. He then shoved it in his backpack, and took it to class to show everyone. 

 In class

The health class teacher, Ms. Samsung WF45R6100AV Washer & Dve45r6100v Electric Dryer Front Load called everyone for their presentations on rabies. When it was Dasani’s turn, he enthusiastically bounced (fell?) off his seat with his bag that was leaking of shit and blood. He walked in front of the class. “Before I-I-I do my presentwation,” 

Danasi opens his zipper and dumps the  Aqualfina looked dehydrated, its watery insides evaporating in the 100 degree classroom. “He’ mwa new child!” Dasani squealed as he bounced up and down as the class looked at the snack-sized bloody child in disgust. Jesus smacked his face. “Why do I know this dumbass?”

“WHaT DOES THIS HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH RABIES?!?” Ms. Samsung WF45R6100AV Washer & Dve45r6100v Electric Dryer Front Load buzzed.

“H-h-h-h-h-h-h-he’s mwa favorite kind of rabies~” Dasani said as he gave Ms. Samsung WF45R6100AV Washer & Dve45r6100v Electric Dryer Front Load puppy eyes. Ms. Samsung WF45R6100AV Washer & Dve45r6100v Electric Dryer Front Load goes into heavy load and explodes it’s insides with sheer irrational teacher anger.

“DeTeNTION!” 

Dasani rolled on the ground, whining. “But wwhhhyyyy?”

After about fifteen minutes of that debauchery, Dasani just flung himself out the window, and rolled down the street, where he jumped through the window of the Spanish room. 

[asexualone]

(pls take the time to read)

Signs I should have known I was aro: Disney edition

I think this topic has been stressed a lot already. But here is my take, anyway.

Of course, romantic love had been, is and will always be one of the main themes in kids' movies. Why, I can never fully understand. I'll explain below how I like other themes more.

Some time ago, I did a post on the kiss/hug scenes in Rapunzel which depicts how much more I value acts of showing love that don't include kissing.

Not only those two. I have a history of hating Disney on-screen smooches. As a kid, I thought, "Well, maybe, I don't like seeing these characters kiss because it's a grownup thing."

Could you blame me? When my parents were in the room and a kissing scene appeared on the screen, they changed the channel. So my toddler brain concluded that the reason I didn't like watching kisses was because I wasn't of age to like it. Or something.

At the time, I had no idea that I was hand-picking my favorite movies by the level of romance they had in. Or lack thereof. And I was a very judgemental kid. Let's go through my original thoughts on some Disney classics.

Snow White — No. Just no. She's a child, fourteen. Marrying an older guy she doesn't even know. After he kisses her corpse. NO.

Cinderella — The age difference is a little better, I guess. So is the age of consent. But they only talked one (1) night and he relied on that slipper to find her instead of asking to meet all women and see for himself. Fairytale logic I guess. I didn't like how she called it love immediately and kissed the prince at least once that same night. Or how they got married immediately.

The Sleeping Beauty — Must I even explain? Aurora didn't even know Philip that much, had only met him once (if you exclude the "dreams"). And yet, he's her true love, the only one who can revive her corpse. Ridiculous. And yes, kissing a comatose body, ew. Also, the arranged marriage trope pisses me off, royalty or not. Aurora was engaged as a newborn baby, come on.

Mulan — Cinematic gold. I didn't know it back then, but the fact that romantic love is such a pushed-aside aspect in this movie gives me life. The songs give me life. Especially when the trio dresses as concubines and "Be a Man" plays in the background. An absolute gem, lmao. The sequel however ruined the story somewhat for me, too much lovey-dovey stuff. I like Mulan more when she's fighting than when she's acting all sappy towards Shang, sorry not sorry.

Peter Pan — Loved it, still do. But I did dislike the mermaids, the image of fangirls who are petty towards other girls. And Pan's brief "relationship" with Tiger Lily was nauseating to me. I couldn't explain it but when Pan blushed at her nose-nuzzling thing, I always pulled a face.

The Princess and the Frog — In my opinion, (remember, always my opinion): Tiana, this hard-working girl who doesn't belong to anyone, was lost to love. Well, not lost. But falling for Naveen in the course of three days? Unrealistic and kinda unnecessary. Sweet, but still. I adored the "relationship" between Ray and Evangeline more. Either way, it's a movie that I enjoyed when love wasn't that prominent on screen.

Aladdin — I love this movie because of the Genie. The relationship between Jasmine and Aladdin is meh. She forgot his face and didn't recognize him until later. Their coming together is a lot like that trope "first guy who treats her right sets the expectations and wins her heart". Usually that's a thing, not only in Disney movies but media in general. The female lead settles for the first guy that treats her right because the bar is that low. A good movie, all in all. Love how Jasmine stands up for herself at least. Not a lot of princesses fight against the objectification of women.

Pocahontas — I used to hate this movie. I didn't sit right with me: the racism in it, the manipulation, the murders. And the romance, yes. Pocahontas fell for the strange man who tickled her curiosity in the span of two days. I also hated how her father just sold her to marry Kocoum like that. I know it's tradition. Heck, that's a tradition that still goes on in my country. Maybe that's why I didn't like seeing it on screen. And Pocahontas doesn't even end up with John Smith. The second movie definitely ruined the story. So yes, she's the first princess who fell for a man in three days, TWICE. Needless to say, only the songs kept me from blacklisting the movie entirely.

The Little Mermaid — I actually loved this movie for some reason. I can't explain why, maybe it was my obsession with mermaids. Yeah, that was probably it. But I was pissed when Ariel exchanged her tail for legs. Not to mention human periods and overall, all the bad in the world, for a man she'd only seen once. As I grew up I realized just how f*cked up that story was: Ariel giving her entire lifestyle, family and identity up for a guy she hadn't even spoken to. I don't know why I loved that movie, alright? Hell I still do a little. The sequel too. Say what you want.

Brave — (I know this is technically Pixar, shut up) Much like the paradox with Ariel, I didn't like this movie. I can't explain it. Maybe because Merida wasn't the typical Disney princess I had been used to seeing. Now though, I ADORE that story. No, it's not because Merida knows archery... Okay, yes maybe a little. I love the aro-arrow word play, alright? Anyway, the way Merida fights against being shipped to a husband like the "tradition" I aforementioned asks her to, has always had my heart, even when I didn't like the movie. The focus on the mother-daughter relationship is special, I love it. Stellar movie.

Tangled — One of my favorite Disney movies, my favorite princess. But her relationship with Eugene.... Well. Again, three days. That's all it takes to fall in love. Classic of Disney. Not only that, but Eugene is literally the first man person Raps has ever since, besides Gothel. The bar is nonexistent for her, she would have fallen for anyone. He lied to her and she still... Well, I won't stress that any longer. Their relationship in the end is sweet, one of the few cases where we are actually shown that they would risk their lives to save each other. Respect that. Mostly, I love her magical hair and Pascal. And the guys of Snuggly Duckling.

Moana — EPIC MOVIE. The story, the culture, the character growth, the plot twist, everything! Loved it at first sight, at second and forever. Even more when I became aware that there's no romance in it. I don't think I need to say more.

Frozen — My opinions on this movie have always been changing, accompanied by mixed feelings. So the relationship between sisters was cute, but Lilo and Stitch made that more realistic. Anna's relationship with Hans, ugh. I think that for a long time I used the fact that he was the antagonist to justify my absolute hate for the way Anna "fell" for him in one evening. Again, Anna sweetheart. This is the first man you've met. The bar is nonexistent for you too. God bless Elsa for forbidding her to marry Hans. And while it's cute to think Elsa as a lesbian, she has aromantic vibes. Sorry not sorry, but she's also a God by the end of Frozen 2. Gods are beyond attraction, I said what I said.

Raya and the Last Dragon — Loved it, still do. Say what you will about "dragon Elsa". Sisu is her own character, and I adore her. And yes, I love the lack of romance in the movie. Make no mistake, I shipped Raya and Namaari from the first moment they smiled at each other. I swear on my name that I paused the movie and screamed, GAYYYY, at the top of my lungs. Luckily, I was home alone. If only Disney directors would do the right fcking thing and give me a queer main couple!! I swear I wouldn't mind the lovey-dovey romance one bit.

Of course, I've left dozens of movies out. This post is already way longer than I wanted it to be. But I think that was enough to make a point.

While I'm not romance-repulsed, seeing animated kisses (and unnecessary relationships) on screen makes me uncomfortable. As a child and as a grownup. It just doesn't sit right with me. Not to mention all these princesses who identify with their princes and specifically their relationships with said princes when they're perfect on their. Wreck it Ralph 2 made them a favor, I think, by making them work together and showing their strengths. Another movie I love.

Friendship just makes an overall better theme to apply to kids shows, my opinion. Family, work, self-discovery, mental health, happiness. These are all better themes to portray in media dedicated for children. Which is, again, my opinion.

And yes, Disney has been getting better. They've fixed the age difference and the age of consent. The female characters no longer depend on the male ones, at least not as often. They understand the assignment, alright. There are still many questionable things about Disney's reputation though, things we all choose to overlook for the sake of the good movies. But who knows? They might change. Hopefully soon we'll also have an obviously queer couple in a movie. Hope dies last.

[fantasyraindrps]

Anti Catra/Catradora

This series has always felt like the Catra Show, and so much so that even Hordak never felt like the main villain. And nothing drove that point home more than season five proving once and for all that this series moral line(or lack there of) is REALLY about a Villain Protagonist when the character that increasingly became a MONSTER for FOUR SEASONS still got everything she wanted in the end.    

Catra is the poster child for the moral bankruptcy of this series.  

I can't buy her ''redemption,'' or her relationship with Adora, because she WENT TO FAR.  

Therefore nor can I buy the HYPOCRITICAL mental gymnastics that arise when she is a topic of discussion in the fandom.  

For four seasons I watched this character WILLINGLY and GLEEFULLY jump rope with the moral event horizon. She eventually finally broke it to the pieces when she deliberately GENOCIDES everyone on the PLANET, because of her sick,evil obsession with being better than Adora.  

Loved all this time my behind.

Catra was a vile person from her introduction, and just got increasingly more poisonous as the show went on.  

Season Five wants us to treat Catra like a bad friend that said a few mean words here and there, and therefore all she has to do is sincerely apologize then friendship can begin again.  

Here's the thing Catra wasn't just a bad friend, but also an ABUSER and a FASCIST.  

She had multiple opportunities to leave the horde,and had no reason to stay in the first place, gleefully attacks the resistance, is the reason Angela died, tried straight up multiple times to end Adora’s and her friends lives, and was just an abomination to even the ones on her side....    

On the flip side we have Adora who doesn’t give a damn about Catra for four seasons. She’s too busy enjoying life with her REAL friends. Try and recall, was there ever a moment where Adora was...concerned for Catra’s safety? Pining for her in any way romantically? Ever? Even once during the first four? Because I don’t. Honestly Catra wasn’t important to Adora until Catra showed up on screen. And then they both wanted to kill each other. Any moments of Adora thinking about Catra it was in the context of Catra being her ENEMY.

But I'm supposed to believe in their romance based on what? 

Catra's toxicity? Adora's nonexistent romantic feelings for pretty much the entire series?    

In season 5 all Catra had to do was one act of atonement and out of nowhere, like Adora has been possessed by the ghost of Queer Rep, she suddenly can’t get Catra out of her head. Also note Catra didn't save Glimmer because she realized her past actions were evil; no it was all for Adora's sake i.e. the person she is toxically obsessed with.  

Back to Catra, her redemption is handled with the most condescending of kid gloves. It’s like she was replaced by a clone for season five. She’s just accepted. It's like seasons 1-4 didn't happen. The forgiveness was excessive and forced so we could be okay with this ABUSER / WAR CRIMINAL being chummy and romantic with her victims.

For example Glimmer cries over her, hugs her, kisses her cheek etc... Yet Catra is responsible for her MOTHER’S DEATH, the WORLD ENDING once before, trying to KILL her, war crimes against Bright Moon/HER KINGDOM...  

Then Entrapta also forgives Catra like it’s nothing even though she sent HER TO DIE, and apparently she was in this hell space for a YEAR.  

Same with Scorpia who forgives Catra's toxicity in five seconds.  

But everything is suppose to be wonderful because an ABUSER ends the series ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED WITH HER VICTIM?

When Adora said you made your choice now live with it THAT should have been the end of any reconciliation either platonic of romantic.  

Even her flashbacks are her being abusive. You see her in one of them( in her so called redemption season at that) SCRATCHING Adora's FACE to the point it left BLOOD,and JUMPING ON HER STOMACH just because Adora DARED to be friends with other people.

This was pretty much every childhood flashback they showed.

She would emotionally and physically abuse Adora, and then Adora would take her back. 

This would continue even as near adults. It was a PATTERN(red flag) that Adora unfortunately didn't escape.  

But.....I always loved you,says Catra.  

For ADORA'S own mental health/closure she could forgive,but only if she also makes it clear that she doesn't want her abuser/war criminal ex friend back in her life.    

I could have tolerated that ending instead of Adora becoming a COUPLE with her ABUSER.  

Basically this villain sue ends the show getting everything she wants even after evil manipulation of several characters, genocide, war crimes against her own people, repeated attempts at murder,physical and mental abuse(especially toward Adora), and just being a complete psychopath to anyone within spitting distance of her toxicity.

She gets to be pretty much a abusive scum bucket for four seasons, on top of ACTUALLY DOING THE SAME THING PRIME WANTED TO DO, yet whiplash forgiveness and Lesbians 4 Evah is her ending.    

"So we're all just okay with this?", says Mermista incredulously of the war criminal Hordak. 

Good question,but then I remember you all seem to be okay with war criminal Catra who is pretty much Hordak's parallel soo ....  

Her mirror Hordak, according to the showrunner, is sentenced to beast island for his war crimes. However, my question then becomes where is Catra's sentence? Oh, that's right if you're the creator’s pet you get to be a war criminal in peace.    

It's also convenient that Mermista was chipped,and therefore didn't get to say anything to the girl who helped bring down her kingdom with a smile on her face.

Funny how that worked out.  

It's even more convenient that her victims gave their lighting fast forgiveness.  

Can't have icky things like abuse and war crimes get in the way of that ending smooch you know.  

I suppose we also just need to look at Angella as collateral damage while we smile as her daughter hugs and kisses her killer I guess.    

I also find it odd(since were loving abusers and war criminals) that Shadow Weaver point blank doesn't get forgiveness from Adora, and she even ends the series dead. However, she defected to the hero’s side in season two(regardless of any impure motivation), and stayed there and helped the protagonists until her season five death. But Catra, who not only stayed with the conquering organization the Horde for almost the entire series as well as eventually becoming their LEADER, was not only forgiven but also rewarded a romance with her victim. Curious.  

I'm tired of this abominable trope invading every piece of media. An antagonist crosses the moral event horizon, and some even break it to pieces, but somehow the story gets selective amnesia and thus they are free to join the protagonists with their numerous sick crimes ignored or a sob story is bsed into a justification onto why we should ignore physical and emotional abuse and/or the numerous bodies piled up.    

When you don't have a moral LINE in your narrative then that means you have already made a mockery out of morality and numerous victims.  

The only way I can stomach her season five ‘’redemption’’, and lighting quick forgiveness, is if I forget the monster of four seasons didn't exist. 

Problem is I can't do that.  

Why should I get any catharsis that the protagonists prevailed over Horde Prime when you have two characters in particular(Hordak,Catra) that are pretty much him with a sob story attached. If THEY get to kumbaya with the hero's then Prime should to because that's honestly where the morals are at in this story.    

I had to stop watching two shows(Vampire Diaries and Once Upon a Time) because I got tired of this sick trope. There were SEASONS worth of whitewashing and selective amnesia for two sick and evil characters(Damien Savatore and Regina), to the point their VICTIMS became their BIGGEST CHEERLEADERS and LOVE INTERESTS.  

There is no justice when this vile trope is in play.  

The moral event horizon exists for a reason. It means once a character has jumped over it then there should be no moral way they can come back from it. Humanizing them is a good narrative choice,but that humanization doesn't and SHOULDN'T erase their heinous crimes.  

Thus the only true ending that moral event horizon characters should get are redemption equals death or thanks for growing a conscious and helping us out, but you're STILL going to prison for life afterwards kay. They don't get to kumbaya with their victims while the other one's, THE DEAD BODIES, stay cold.  

But you know if I HAD to I COULD have TOLERATED Catra and Hordak going on an atonement journey so they could help the people still living that they made homeless/ lives they ruined. Also they can do this while they both get the therapy they badly need.  

I needed CONSEQUENCES that STUCK.  

Instead Catra (ADORA'S ABUSER) gets to make out with Adora(HER VICTIM), and also become her girlfriend. She also becomes the best friend of her other victims.  

So it seems this show's message is no matter how much emotional and physical pain a person does to you it's okay to not only let them back in your life(damn your mental health I guess),but it’s also fine to enter a romantic relationship with them as well.   

Yes, that's what children need to see.  

It's also hilarious that some of her fans say she's Zuko.

No.

She's what would happen if Azula and Kylo Ren were made into one character.

I did my research on the show runner, and the creators pet/villain sue bias became clearer. 

Catra is HER, and Adora is her wife.   

That explains EVERYTHING, and not in a good way.   

What the show's title should actually be called: 

She-Ra:The Story of a Villain Sue Antagonist,War Criminal Abuser,That Gets a Happily Ever After With Her Victim; Whom She Emotionally and Physically Abused for Four Seasons.    

Another alternate: 

She-Ra: The Story of Lesbian Reylo.

[recordmcqueen]

hi hello rate these ships : boifang, kaifang, gofang, goboifang, boya, faya, fayi, yayi, kaiya, kaiboy, ramenzo you have to answer this one particular ship as 10/10 or ill steal yer knees and toes

O-O a-aight random stranger--

A+: OTP

A: I love it

B: It’s really cute

C: Not a bad ship

D: I’m neutral on it

E: I don’t really like it

F: NOTP

N/A: I don’t know the ship well enough

boifang: B bc fandom has kinda ruined it for me so i dont enjoy it as much as i once did :,)

kaifang: F- as a ship?? u gud??

gofang: A++ oh god i EAT this stuff for breakfast lunch n dinner mmm tbh theres only one other ship that im more invested in at the moment but heck if i see gopal n fang in the same image n dont start frothing-

goboifang: A+++++++++++ this ship is literal supremacy gebs can heck right off this is my food this is my home this is my LIFE and if it werent for That One Other Ship Which Dominates My Braincells At Present i’d probs be crankin out actual contents for my nonexistent fellow shippers //jkjk kamy ily where would i be without u oml

boya: D theres some cute art n stuff and i understand Why people ship it (spoiler alert: its not a very valid reason but who am i to stop them) but ehhhhh i dont Get it besides theyre top-notch mlm n wlw solidarity also the fandom is kinda scary to me ngl theyre very uhm Pure Innocent Fwuffy Beans UwU :,)

faya: N/A ive seen some art and it fills me with a sheer passivity it’s just hard to explain what i feel about it aside from I Dont Care

fayi: B theyve got some sweet dynamic there and while yayi n gbf supremacy im a multishipper at heart. although. the fandom depiction of the ship. is not remotely what i see when i ship them. way to disappoint me again fandom :,))

yayi: A oh god honestly im guilty of underappreciating these gals bc bren full of other ships oop but theYRE QUEENS OML SUCH A HECKIN POWER COUPLE AN FLIPFRACKIN CANON HNNNNNNN monsta had to nerf them bc their lesbian power made them too competent and bbb is supposed to be the main charac-

kaiya: N/A i dont think anyone seriously ships it? im prettyyyy sure all the arts r for like self-insert purposes bc im fairly certain kaizo doesnt even actually know yaya exists also. is there even a potential dynamic?? ive never thought about them for reasons that should be obvious FBI OPEN UP

kaiboy: D //long sigh okay dont get me wrong i do not Ship it although i know people who do and i know exactly where theyre coming from so do i See it? yes. do i Ship it? no siree FBI OPEN UP

ramenzo: A++ this is the only ship that gives me inspiration + motivation to write anything anymore and also the literal only valid kaizo ship (i mean aside from pirate bud but uh rip their relationship also i doubt anyone ships him with shieldblings but even thats a little hmmmmmmm nah for me) god i could go on a rant about how im partial to the rarepairs n get invested in characs who have oodles of unexplored potential (is that a pun? idk-) but i barely have the coherence for that so just hnnn THEM //squawking flappy noises

tho imma say gofang n ramenzo r on the same lvl just bc of personal petty reasons (I Dont. Like. The Blue Bird.) otherwise ramenzo would probs be higher (zero disrespect for gofang tolerated i just prefer to include the Smol Orange yknow) but yeye

love how you refused to acknowledge the existence of boicest shippers hahshshsh the fandom is qUAKING also u didnt mention any sai ships im :/ but issokie anyway STAN THE ULTIMATE SHIP AYU YU X KIKI TA (no this still isnt That One Ship That Im Obsessed With but its a good frickin ship >:v)

conclusion: fandom stop latching onto selfcest/ships with weird age gap/ships that r gopalphobic and start respecting the real legends in this house of fanimonsta SMH

[beautyisyours]

“Buy Me a Boat.”

I thought the song was good, but my tastes don’t always mix perfectly with everyone else’s. Well, this time they did, because “Buy Me a Boat” exploded. Within thirty minutes of me playing forty-five seconds of the song, it went from nonexistent to one of the top downloads on iTunes. So then I played the full song (again risking pissing off the higher-ups at iHeartRadio, because you’re taught not to play untested music on a national level), and by the end of the day, it was the No. 1 song in iTunes country and in the Top 10 on the pop chart, too!

Of course, every record label was after Chris immediately then. Chris wound up signing with Warner Bros., which put out his debut album, named after “Buy Me a Boat,” its lead single, which went to No. 1 on the Billboard country charts. The album debuted at No. 4 on the Top Country Albums chart and No. 18 on the Billboard 200. The song, which sold more than 805,000 units, went gold, and Chris landed an opening spot on Toby Keith’s summer tour. The day his song climbed to No. 1, Chris sent me a note: “None of this would have happened if it wasn’t for you opening that e-mail, listening to my song, and playing it on the air. You got me a deal.”

If “Buy Me a Boat” didn’t convince me of the power of our listeners and the show, then “Girl Crush” really nailed it for me. Little Big Town—the band featuring Karen Fairchild, Kimberly Schlapman, Jimi Westbrook, and Phillip Sweet, all on vocals—had released their sixth studio album, Pain Killer. The single they were pushing was a party song called “Day Drinking.” But as soon as I heard “Girl Crush,” which was a deep track, I knew that was the real single.

It’s slow, and right now ballads are out of favor in country music, but I thought the song, with Karen on lead vocals, was different, in a good way, from anything else out there. So the next morning, I took to the airwaves to introduce the song to my listeners. I don’t want to sound like a broken record or a jerk, but “Girl Crush” instantly skyrocketed up the iTunes charts to the Top 5 that morning. Because of that segment, they put it out as the album’s second single after “Day Drinking.” And the rest is history. “Girl Crush,” with sales of nearly 1.5 million in the U.S., literally made Billboard history

when it spent eleven weeks at No. 1.

I should have gotten a shout-out by country music programmers everywhere, right? Nope. I created blowback. Apparently the song’s topic, one woman’s obsession with another, was too risqué for country radio. Playing lyrics like “I want to taste her lips / Yeah, ’cause they taste like you” were “promoting the gay agenda,” according to some angry listeners and station managers. Frightened program directors refused to play the song. Although so many country music fans downloaded the song that it was No. 4 on iTunes, it was only No. 33 in radio airplay rankings because DJs were afraid to play a song about lesbians. (Meanwhile the band says unequivocally that the song isn’t about lesbians. Who cares? I like lesbians.)

When I had Little Big Town in the studio, I went on a rant. “Is it frustrating to you that here is your song—that is one of the top ten sellers for weeks and weeks and weeks—and people on the radio are still afraid to play it because they think it’s a ‘lesbian song’?” I asked. “It would drive me insane!”

My bosses weren’t happy about me screaming on air at the country radio industry, which paid me my salary, for being small-minded hypocrites. But I wasn’t worried. I knew the listeners had my back.

They always do, which is why I can say what I believe—or maybe it’s the other way around. Because I say what I think, the listeners always have my back. Either way, I have enough strong support to take up the issues important to me.

When it comes to the current country music industry, the biggest issue for me is the prevalence of what’s known as “bro country.” If you aren’t up on country music, that’s the kind of song where a male singer belts out lyrics along the lines of “Hey, girl, get up and dance on my truck; I want to watch you while I drink whiskey.” And I hate it, and I have since I started working in this format. By the time this book comes out, it could have gone the way of the boy band, but right now I am still praying for its death.

In addition to being an epicenter of talent, Nashville is also a factory. With people who just write songs and others who just sing them, the whole thing can get pretty formulaic. There’s a particular songwriter voice, where everything sounds about the same, which is male dominated and really demeaning toward women. Plus, the radio industry is infiltrated with dudes while women are often pushed to the side.

I speak to women daily. Not only was I raised surrounded by women—my

mom, grandma, and sisters—but they are also a huge part of my audience. I might as well be a woman. So at a time when there are so few female artists getting to the top of the charts (unless you’re Miranda Lambert or Carrie Underwood), I’ve been focusing on really strong females inside of country music.

[imperfectphrase]

generational thing

One of the people I love best rejects any kind of essentialism: gender essentialism, "born that way” conceptions of homosexuality, everything. Everyone is born and made, of course. I was born a dyke but I became one too. I learned to be one. I learned words and history and style, ways of talking, standing, looking, dressing, wearing my hair. I read novels, I watched films, I went to bars. I looked at myself in the mirror. I became obsessed with certain images. I didn’t even read the books sometimes. Intuitive, sometimes instantaneous attachment. Could it have been otherwise? She, against essentialism, played a crucial role in this becoming. She was my professor, and she was the very thing I was becoming, wanting to become, although this too I had to learn. Wanting, that is—I had to learn this. As we all do, though it may not always seem so. Does this mean that we are born no way, born neutral? Where do ways originate? The neutral is desire for the neutral (Roland Barthes). Everything we know is paradigm: not both. The woman-loving woman goes against the paradigm: the natural pairing, the forbidden object. For our younger selves: the unknown other way, the nonexistent option. We don’t like to say that knowledge is the requisite to intimacy; we don’t like to leave desire in the hands of conscious choosing, or reason. We like to get a little crazy, or something. You’re incurable, she said to me. She didn’t mean my sexuality, she meant how much I care about ideas. I was born that way. And made that way, in part by her. Being made to be and learning how to be is what she’s all about—she is a teacher. She believes in things and tells you, if she loves you, what you’ve got to do. You care too much about ideas, she told me, you’d never make it in civilian life. No, I wouldn’t. The notion that this, all this, could not have been otherwise “can reassure profoundly” (Eve Sedgwick). I could not have been otherwise than queer—how wonderful! Of course, we want things to be otherwise. We want possibility. But we don’t want worlds without gay people in them. I am, I think, “unalterably” lesbian (ES). A lesbian per se. I will change Eve Sedgwick’s language here: the gay kid who was born that way is not a “gap” in the discursive fabric but a fold (okay, this is her language too), where the impossible gives way to contact: or, where what is not supposed to touch does touch. “Women together!” the maternal character in Desert Hearts exclaims. She’ll never understand it. Something reassuring in that too. My professor, she doesn’t understand why people hesitate, go slow, feel tentative, reluctant to attach. Why don’t you just have fun, she says to me, like having fun’s as simple as which ice cream flavor to select. She sort of scolds me and I sort of frown and shake my head. Because it’s her, unalterably her. I think of our relationship and my attachment to her, and of what about me is unalterable, including that which she has shaped. I think about her person and her way of being and the way it oriented and reorganized my own—this orienting and reorganizing was my life in college, and some days I still wake up there. I’d be a stranger to myself without it, her, desiring, desired. How could anything be otherwise? 

[conoscenze]

Salice's first crush on someone entirely normal

dive in // send me a topic to write a meta about my muse on— @kashiings — accepting.

Salice unsurprisingly had only one crush that developed into something serious until now, and that was Greta Zago. I’ve written about her before (old post)—she was basically Salice’s highschool sweetheart, who was very much unaware of both her girlfriend’s sisterhood antics and interests in magic. All-in-all, Greta was normal. The biggest trouble she had was accepting her own sexuality, as she is a lesbian. Salice helped her go through bigotry and her own self-inflicted prejudices, so that’s how they got close in first place.

An average girl, with straight blonde hair and brown doe eyes, that wasn’t nor particularly popular nor nonexistent in the school. Her slightly possessive and paranoid behavior most likely was caused by how her parents neglected her (partially because she came out to them as “sexually curious”; and in countryside Veneto it’s not exactly the most accepted thing); this very same attitude, which reflected with jokes about Salice secretely cheating on her, eventually tired the other out. With time, she’s grown up and matured, although there are still remains of regret for not trusting the other enough. After all, they did have a good time together, despite the up-and-downs.

She didn’t complain when Salice had suspicious traces of blood on her body. Rather, she found it kind of exciting—so, in short, she was completely oblivious to  Salice’s membership in the Sorelle Magre club.

They both found common interest in having a liking for unconventional things: for example, insects. Salice, in fact, did not care about any other existing being on the planet before meeting Greta, who was fucking obsessed with ants and grasshoppers.

How exactly Salice managed to get a crush on Greta in first place is still sort of a mystery (and considering her habit of removing “long gone” people from her memories, it’s unlikely she’ll try to think about it anytime soon) even it isn’t too hard to guess. Salice was not super known in school, but she was surrounded by friends; thus, being the extrovert type, she found Greta’s loneliness interesting and also somewhat pitiful. She also considered the quiet girl very cute. This prompted her to start talking to her, and the rest is pretty much history. The aforementioned support Salice gave Greta was enough to make the two teens bond strongly enough to feel butterflies in the stomach.

After the relationship with Greta, which lasted roughly three years (16 to 18), Salice has not since gotten serious with someone. Some one-night-stands there and there, but nothing special—she likes to think that she’s “too busy to think about it”, which is not entirely untrue.

[bargainbooklover]

So this post will be a mix of both ‘A year in review’ & ‘The End of the year survey’ I like both ideas but I want to mix them up a little bit. Basically I’m going to talk about my bookish part of 2017. My favorite reads, biggest disappointments, that one author I met, fandoms I’ve joined and online bookish friends I’m thankful for.

Without further ado:

My favorite reads of 2017.

I will be the first to admit I had a great reading year in 2017. I read a grand total of : 128 books. This is the most I’ve ever read and I’m so proud.. 2017 was so much better than most years. I would have statistics but I didn’t actually keep any last year.( New goal for 2018) However I’d say about 70% of the books I read where queer and had queer main characters. About 60% where diverse reads and 20% where graphic novels. I only reread The Captive Prince Trilogy last year so re reads aren’t counted.

Above are all the books I rated four & five stars. They were all fantastic and of course I recommend them. If I had to pick my top five I’d say:

Radio Silence by Alice Oseman. The first YA I’ve ever read about friendship and to make it better the main character is a biracial bisexual women & her friend Aled is demisexual.

Six Of Crows by Leigh Bardugo. Let’s be real you’ve heard of this book!

The Captive Prince Trilogy. If you’ve read book one continue I swear it gets amazing! I’ve already re read twice.

The Raven Boys. I’m not even going to try explain this book. It’s amazing. Read it!

Fence, The Lumberjanes, How To Make A Wish. What? It’s one book I swear. 😁

Book I’m most thankful for: Radio Silence by Alice Oseman. It’s the first time in a long time I felt I related to the main character and her experiences but I also related to Aled. This book just had everything I’ve ever wanted in book. I should have a full review since I read it about two months ago but I’m terrible and don’t. I will soon though!

All month I’ve been asked what’s your favorite read and all month I couldn’t pick just one. Come on! I’ve read Fence & Captive Prince this year. How could I? I mean I picked five above. However if I did have to pick just one. Believe me it would kill me. But No holds bars I’d pick Radio Silence.

Biggest disappointments of 2017.

The award for the first book I ever gave one star goes to: Blue Is The Warmest Color. I know a lot of people loved this( which is completely fine because everyones opinions are different) but I hated it and you can see my review Here.

Two stars both to Timekeeper & The Uncrossing. I expected these books to be so much better than they were. You can check out my reviews for both Timekeeper  & The Uncrossing and see why I disliked them both if you’re curious. They sucked!

Okay so Warcross wasn’t exactly a disappointment. I mean I rated it 3.5 stars and 3 stars for me is good, I enjoyed it. This book was just so hyped up I expected something spectacular. Which wasn’t what I got. Also the romance was creepy.

Now let’s talk about Fingersmith. Which I now noticed isn’t included in the picture. The book I expected to love with all my heart. Victoria lesbians, thieves & adventure, what could possibly go wrong? EVERYTHING! This book was the biggest pile of crap ever. The plot moved at a snails pace and the characters were awful. The “twist” & “turns” were basically nonexistent. I managed about 214 pages before I said fuck it. I’m bitter because this book put me in a slump I’m still not out of.

All these books were rated 2 stars. Apart from One Dnf( Fingersmith), One Star( Blue Is The Warmest Color) & Warcross.

Let’s talk about that one author I met.

Maggie Stiefvater! I was so shocked when she said she was coming to Ireland because my favorite authors never come to Ireland. It’s like a bad omen. So of course I waited in line and got my copies of: The Dream Thieves, Blue Lilly, Lilly Blue & The Raven King signed. Unfortunately they’re signed Shammon apart from I think, The Dream Thieves, because I spelled my name wrong. As you do. I was nervous okay! On a sad note, V.E Schwab was also here but I seen the post too late and couldn’t make it. 😭

Other Bookish Stuff. 

Bookstagram.

For some unknown reason my bookstagram really blew up. I went from 180 followers in January to 637 which is amazing. I’ve never had that many followers in my life and the fact that people like & comment on my pictures is really wonderful.  I’ve made some great bookstagram friends and I’m enjoying being part of the community so much. I love sharing my favorite reads and doing book tags. 2017 has been so great on Instagram and I’m excited to see what 2018 brings!

ARCs.

So last year I started to request arcs on NetGalley, A Novel Take PR and even by emailing some publishers. However this year I think I’m going to tone it down. I was so excited by the thought of ARCS last year that I requested so many. Yes while being approved is wonderful being approved for ten in a row isn’t. Especially when you realize you’ve got to now read and review these ten books. It turns a hobbie into work you don’t want to do.  I liked getting ARCS. However when I’m forced to read something I won’t read it. Which is why I’ve decided to only request ARCs for my most anticipated releases and NOT to accept books from authors to review.

Bookish Friends. 

Due to Instagram & Twitter I made some great bookish friends in 2017. I won’t name them because I’m way to shy for that but if I talk to you a lot you know who you are. I’m so thankful for the friends I made and the fun I had.

To wrap up the bookish part of this post I just want to thank anyone reading this and all the bookish online friends I made in 2017! Chatting to people who love & obsess over the same books as you has really been an experience. I never had that before and I love you all. 💕

Let’s hope 2018 is just as fun!!

2017 – A Year in Review. So this post will be a mix of both 'A year in review' & 'The End of the year survey' I like both ideas but I want to mix them up a little bit.

[s-hadow-chan]

Moving blogs + a reflection essay

tl;dr -- I’m moving my main blog. Because lots of my views on life have changed, my life has changed, and obviously my tastes in fandoms have changed. I’ll put the URL here later once I’ve made it. To see how I got to this position and where I am now, keep reading ^w^

Note: This is just my own opinion as to how I’ve seen Tumblr over the past few years. 

Well, it’s the start of a New Year. I haven’t been active much in 2017 but I’ll try and be active this year. Thanks to all the people who’ve helped and supported me this year and the following people who have made my life on Tumblr : *a list of people I rarely talk to anymore*

....Is what I would have said perhaps a year or two ago. I’m still glad I’ve joined this site and had conversations with some KnB fanatics like I was. However, I haven’t talked to them in a year. The only people I usually talk to on this site are basically nonexistent. I mean my friends from high school technically, but I talk to them irl during classes and lunch. The truth is that I have not been active on Tumblr for the past year. And my activity on the site was starting to wane in 2016 as well when I accidentally deleted my main blog last year when I was actually trying to delete a side blog I was working on. But that’s besides the fact as to why I’m moving. I’ve changed quite a bit since 2014 when I first joined Tumblr. My views of the world have changed, my life has changed, even the tiniest things such as my fandom tastes have changed. Because of this change, I’m moving to a new blog. Since you’ve decided to keep reading, I’m going to write a long detailed essay about the three things that have changed with me: my taste, my views on the world, and my life in 2014. You have the complete freedom to click out anytime ^w^

The fourteen-year-old me has a different shit taste in anime than the shit taste I have in anime now. Obviously, no one person can stay the same. If you’ve reblogged the little posts I’ve reblogged from other blogs (try saying that five times lol) notice how there’s barely any Hetalia or Kuroko no Basket or Haikyuu for that matter. Even when I’ve been active for the past few days, it’s been more positive posts, memes, and occasional anime of Hero Aca and such. So really if you want to know what I’m into at the moment, it’s Honeyworks, Hero Aca, Shigatsu wa Kimi no Uso (Your Lie in April), food, study things, any Makoto Shinkai film (doesn’t have to be Your Name but it can be) and always memes. And getting off from the high of finishing Yamada-kun and the Seven Witches, I’ll be looking for that too. Also, notice the decline in squealing yaoi fangirl that used to squeal in the tags section about two dudes cross-dressing. Ah, yes. The Hetalia days of where I’d ship APH America with everyone and just had a huge obsession with APH America. The title of my blog (on mobile anyway) is still a quote from the dub haha.  To be fair, that squealing, yaoi fangirl did have a brief revival when Yuri on Ice was still airing. I still have a soft spot for the anime as it was very good (and still is, Phichit will forever be an angel) and I absolutely LOVE Makkachin still. But for the most part, I have mostly lost the whole yaoi fangirl that I once was in Freshman year of high school who still loved shipping countries together. Why I deviated from Hetalia is another post unto itself.

I mentioned how I haven’t been posting a lot of kurobas lately. Yes my interest has waned in the show, but I still appreciate what it’s done for me in my high school years. I still have a quote from Aida Riko back in the earlier chapters of the manga hanging on my wall as I work on homework: “I want you to have a big concrete objective and the will to achieve it.” I won’t deny, KnB really helped me set the mentality I needed to tackle high school -- to keep pushing myself to become a better person. Whether I fulfilled that expectation or not is debatable. But as always, the inspirational quotes of KnB will undoubtedly carry me onto college too.

Now don’t get triggered when I say that Tumblr can really take leftist ideology to the extreme. It’s definitely right to treat everybody equally no matter their skin color, gender, sexuality, shape, size, disability, etc. Basically, everyone deserves to be treated equally. That’d definitely fine and it’s the right way to live life after all. However, it first hit me in Junior year that Tumblr was getting annoying. The whole “the straights are terrible” and “white men should burn in hell” preaching gave Tumblr the black and white views of the world without any grays (or greys however you spell it) in between. Now I’m a straight CIS female. I’ve got good friends who are asexual, bi, lesbian, etc. I will say this, but I doubt it will be heard by the screams of hate against a straight CIS gender like myself: I DON’T CARE WHAT YOUR DAMN SEXUALITY OR GENDER OR COLOR OR WHATEVER IS AS LONG AS YOU ARE A NICE PERSON! If you are a trans, gay Hispanic (an example, not pointing you out) who treats other people terribly, that means I will flip you off and beat your ass (to some extent of this statement). Not all straight people are bad and not all gays are good and it goes for every demographic that exists ever.

Though it may seem that I am blaming all of Tumblr for acting this way, I am. But I can’t forget that I too, once had a black and white view of the world. As a fourteen-year-old who was very much shielded from the world because of a private Catholic school with conservative parents who are very well off, I had an inkling of what the rest of the world was like. And I feel like the people on Tumblr were just as uneducated about the world as I was. By no means do I know everything about the world now. A seventeen-year-old who hasn’t even finished high school will never know how the me from four years from now feels. I am just saying that my opinion from leaning so far left a damn tree would break has become more moderate. This website made me think: gosh being straight and CIS is uncool and being a normal functional being with no anxiety or depression isn’t normal too. I need to be bi and genderfluid! That was stupid thinking. Right now, I’m completely fine with being a straight, CIS female with no mental illnesses such as depression or anxiety who will gladly respect your pronouns.

Now life is really crazy. It was crazy in 2016, and it was crazy in 2017 too. I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned that I’m from Las Vegas, Nevada now did I? Times have changed man. I don’t think I would have said that when I was 10 on a website lol. But yeah if you’ve somehow been scrolling this far down I commend your efforts. And I’m sure you’re getting really strained rn. So get some water, take a break, I’m sorry if you can’t get to a laptop or computer right now. Don’t read this in one go. If you’ve returned or decided to read straight on through welcome back or good for you respectively. Now I’ll repeat that again. Yes, I live in Las Vegas, Nevada. Right where Stephen Paddock decided to shoot from the 37th floor of Mandalay Bay onto the Route 91 Harvest Festival where over 500 people were wounded and 50 people were killed and where three students from my school were at on Sunday night (they were unharmed physically I believe). I found this out when I was tucked in bed at home, far from the strip checking my friend’s snapchats before I fell asleep. For the largest mass shooting in modern US history to take place in an area where my family would take our extended family to dinner or where we once had a New Years Eve celebration at the Vdara, is sickening. My cousins and I used to go to Mandalay Bay and hang out at the pool and stay the night because it was Spring break back when we were in middle school. My mom’s 40th birthday was at the Mandalay Bay. It’s terrible. I know how those people in Orlando and Colorado and everywhere else in the world feel when a mass shooting happens and completely disrupts your life. I’ve barely even been to the strip this year. The fact that a terror attack happened in my own backyard is beyond words. It makes me angry that some bastard decided to fuck up the lives of everyone in my city by ruining a good time at a concert. It makes me sad when I read a Washington Post later about a group of girls who went to a Lutheran school were affected by this event mentally and some even physically by this event. And that in turns makes me pissed off that some dude ruined the lives of teenage girls exactly like me, who were worried about the SAT and ACT and AP Classes and college. Fuck him.

So that’s my feelings on the shooting a few months late. But remember that I live in Las Vegas. You can’t just forget a mass shooting that happened in the city you live in. I’d mention how people would disagree with me that other events on the strip have happened such as a robbing at the Bellagio (it’s always the Bellagio man! That’s my fave part of the strip with the dancing waters and the seasonal garden inside like man they don’t deserve that) and etc. but feel free to disagree with me when you submit an ask dear anon.

Now on a somewhat lighter note, high school will forever be stressful. Going to the best high school in the state is stressful when all your friends have a nonstop grind to be one of the valedictorians (apparently you can have more than one?? I had no idea until I went to high school). Though I am nowhere near becoming a valedictorian, I still have plans to graduate with high honors ( wearing white for graduation) because half of the people graduating will wear white because it’s a magnet school dammit we’re kinda smart. AP classes have been part of my workload since Sophomore year which is right when I deleted my blog, but I managed to keep my activity up somewhat. Junior year slumped in my activity big time. APUSH is hard you guys. That’s it. I believe I posted a reflection at the start of 2017 detailing a bit more of this. But the difference this year is that I’m a senior in high school. That means college and scholarships. As I’ve mentioned before, I live in Nevada. I either stay in Las Vegas and attend the university there or I head up to Reno, which is like a 6-hour drive from home or just an hour flight. That means living in a dorm away from everything I’ve known. And that includes my boyfriend.

The biggest change in my life between Freshman year and now is that I’m taken! And honestly, it was the biggest fucking plot twist of 2016 (and the largest failed segway of 2018 thus far). I’m dating the largest weeb at my school ever and I’m happy dammit. Most of the time. I’ve learned a lot from being in a relationship like how to shut the fuck up and listen and appreciate more in life. By no means was my relationship perfect either. We’ve had a lot of fights. I’ve mentioned this in my reflection of 2016 at the start of last year so the rundown is that we’ve been together a year and a half now. I’m in a healthy relationship. Then college comes in and says hi. Now my boyfriend has decided to go to the university here in Las Vegas. I’m still very unsure as to where I want to go next. After all, the decision as to where to continue my education lies with me and I’m running out of time (I’m procrastinating on the decision right now lol). Four years ago, I had dreams of going out of state to either a UC school or the United States Airforce Academy in Colorado, until I learned that school outside of my state is expensive so I decided to stay within the confines of Nevada. 

And honestly, that’s where I’m at right now. Thanks for reading this long ass rant. I spent an hour or two typing this up. I just have a lot of feelings haha. I hope everyone has the best year ever. If this is after I’ve posted my new URL, go follow me there. But for now, thanks for all the support thus far and especially for reading this long ass rant. See you!

[meanwhileinoz]

People On Reddit Reveal How They Found Out That They’re Asexual

For a generation that hates labels, we sure are obsessed with them.

Especially those referring to our identities. But that’s a separate thing, really. Reddit was asked for those who identified as asexual to tell everyone what their story is, what made them realise they were asexual. A coming-out-of-a-closet story, really.

You can find the source here.

#1

I always felt sort of “off” about my feelings towards girls growing up. For some reason, it never really seemed to click for me. In high school, I remember a bunch of my friends talking about an erotic movie, and I was just kind of nodding and going along with it. After some reflection on the matter, I realized that I wasn’t actually interested in erotic movies and sort of left it there. Didn’t think much of it because I was still interested in girls, but it was super common, and I was awkward enough that I’d never bothered acting on it.

Fast forward to the first-year of university, and I started realizing that while I was attracted to girls, it was more romantic. I just wasn’t interested in sex. One night, I was really drunk and just feeling down. I eventually asked my best friend when he first started feeling sexual attraction and he told me grade 7. Just like that, it really hit me, and I felt really weird for a while.

So, how does it affect me today? Well, it’s been about 3 years and most of my close friends are aware. The response is usually either “What?” or “Cool.” Nobody’s been particularly negative about it, and I don’t really worry about it. I’m still not in a relationship, but I’m not exactly in a hurry to get into one since I have no idea how I’d even react to the situation. I don’t think I’d ever do it with someone who wasn’t asexual, but who knows.

FetchFrosh

#2

I don’t think you really discover you’re asexual in the same way as you discover you’re gay/straight/whatever else you may be. Like you don’t have a moment in puberty where you go, “I’m not sexually attracted to anyone!” It’s more of a gradual realization that other people are experiencing things that you’re not quite getting, and your friends start talking more and more about stuff that really just doesn’t seem to interest you in the slightest.

In my case, and in the cases of many other aces I’ve spoken to, over the years, it led to feeling like there was something wrong with me, and that I was somehow broken or abnormal. It can take a long time to get away from that mindset.

I never considered looking it up because I just thought I was weird and broken. It wasn’t until I was befriended by another asexual, who was open and confident about their sexuality, that I kind of went, “Oh, that sounds like me.” I then looked further into it.

Basically, I have never looked at someone and thought, “I want to have sex with you.” No one has ever been sexually appealing to me, and the whole idea of sex is just a big no. Not everyone who is asexual is against sex though, being asexual just means you are not sexually attracted to any gender. Plenty of asexuals have sex – some just for the physical feeling, some to satisfy their partners, etc.

#3

I was always led to believe I was asexual by my friends in high school because I was never attracted to, had relations with, or interested in boys the same way they were. They would tell me how they’d want to do things sexually with certain people and such. Whereas, I would just fantasize about holding hands with them. I find many men attractive, but not sexually. How handsome I find a man often changes with how smart or nice they are, and other people don’t seem to have this dichotomy in assessing someone’s attractiveness. I have yet to develop a romantic or sexual relationship or even relations with anybody, I know right, I’m just attributing everything to being a “late bloomer.”

#4

I thought I was a late bloomer, and then I thought, “I’ll want to have sex when I’m with the right person and feel ready,” Then, when I was over 18, I started thinking that if anything was going to change it should have happened already because I still had no interest in sex and still was not attracted to anyone sexually. When I was nearing 20, I was thinking there was something fundamentally wrong with me. And then, I found out about asexuality and things kind of clicked and made sense. I felt less alone and broken.

Don’t get me wrong, I still sometimes feel like I’m broken somehow because of it, or like I’ll never have a happy relationship, etc. I think everyone gets insecure like that at times. Overall, I’m much more happy and confident in my sexuality knowing I’m asexual than I ever was thinking I was just abnormal.

AnosmicAvenger

#5

When other girls started getting crushes on boys, acting flirtatious, and pairing off with various boys, I felt like they’d all learned some alternate language and I’d been absent the day we had that lesson. It all seemed to happen very suddenly, and I felt out of step with my own peers. I found certain boys attractive, and I enjoyed talking to them, but the thought of anything beyond talking never entered my mind.

In college, I saw other girls behaving promiscuously and wanted to be as sexual as they were, but I’d get to a certain point with a boy and never had a desire to go further. Kissing and cuddling were okay, but that was it. I figured that once I found “the one,” I’d be okay with sex, but still, other people seemed to want it, think about it, talk about it, and seek it out, and I could’ve lived without it.

I got married, had kids (planned; I do like being a mom), never enjoyed sex and told my husband that if some kind of libido pill for women existed I’d gladly take it, but that my sex drive was nonexistent. We ended up divorcing, mostly due to his frustration with my lack of desire. This whole time, I didn’t know what “asexual” meant. I’d have deep friendships with guys from work and my ex would get jealous and accuse me of cheating. I’d say that it was just the opposite – it was nice to be able to talk to a man without any possibility of sex entering the picture. When I found out what asexual meant, it made sense.

It’s been about 18 years since I’ve had sex. I don’t miss it. For a while, I wondered if I was a very repressed lesbian, but I’ve never had so much as a crush on a woman. I have had “crushes” on men, but it’s more daydreaming and fantasy. I connect with men emotionally, but I still can’t flirt, don’t enjoy being seen as a sexual being, and do everything in my power to seem as asexual as I feel. No make-up, no hair-dye, no provocative clothing, and obvious repulsion when talk turns to sex. I’m not “out”, but I’ve mentioned that relationships, marriage, and pairing off are not part of my world and people seem to get that.

I was never abused. I was never in any kind of situation where I was in danger of being raped. I do not want to be asexual, but I know I can’t change, any more than a gay person can magically become straight.

http://ift.tt/2xaiB4F

[beautyisyours]

GNAWING AT THE BONES 2

At the beginning, not everyone appreciated my goal to find a shared humanity. When I first started this job, few artists wanted to come on my show because my interview style was so different. A lot of big stars were upset with me because I took them out of their comfort zone. I didn’t say,

 “Hey, let’s talk about your record and what inspired this song.” Instead I wanted to know what they ate for dinner last night. (That isn’t a real question, but rather the kind that always leads to something else. So I ask it, and then I just listen. Often interviewers don’t listen to the answers—they are just preparing for their next question. I listen to what the artist is saying, because that’s what takes me to my next question.)

Jason Aldean, one of the biggest guys in country music, acted like he hated me when he came on the show. He didn’t think my questions were amusing and rarely smiled. Because of that I didn’t really like him, either. That’s not childish, is it? But now, we totally get each other. And I genuinely like that dude, so much so that if I needed a favor, I’d call him. And I think he’d call me, too. Turns out, much like me, Jason is just a quiet guy. He was dragged through the mud a couple of times and I felt bad for him, because he’s a quality person under the persona. First impressions aren’t always right. Not about Jason, not about me, not really about anyone.

Jason aside, some artists lack any sense of humor about themselves whatsoever. I can live with that. It’s very important to me to keep some sense of equilibrium between my guests and me while we are on air. I’m not bigger than they are, and they’re not bigger than I am. Nor are they bigger than the listeners and fans. We are all people. Except for Garth Brooks, who’s the greatest of all time. He’s bigger than us all. Yeah, Garth Brooks stands alone. I’ve interviewed Garth Brooks (I can’t call the guy who’s sold 134 million albums “Garth,” but Mr. Brooks seems a little formal, so I’m just going to keep going with Garth Brooks) a few times now. I couldn’t believe that the first time he came in the studio he brought a guitar and played whatever songs we wanted. By pretty much any metric you can come up with, from album sales to monster arena tours, the man is bigger than any musician living or dead, including Madonna, Michael Jackson, Sinatra, and even the King himself, Elvis. He was just the nicest guy, though, which is what 95 percent of country music stars are. Then, at the end of his visit, he gave me his guitar, which he signed. Oh my god. It was such an amazing experience that although I often listen back to segments of my show in order to figure what I could have done better, I didn’t listen to this interview. I wanted to preserve the memory of how great it was in my mind. I didn’t want to ruin it by focusing on a question I should have asked or a word I stumped on. (I’ve only ever done that on two other interviews: Clerks director Kevin Smith and my first interview years ago, with John Mayer. But Garth Brooks is definitely

the most sacred.)

In my apartment I have a wall of guitars that are hung the way I guess other people hang art. That’s where I keep the guitar Garth Brooks gave me. There are also guitars from John Mayer, Ben Harper, and Darius Rucker from Hootie and the Blowfish, who came in as a guest my first week in Nashville. (I no longer take guitars from guests, but I buy one or two a week for artists

to sign and then I give them to charity.) There’s one over in the corner on the wall from Dierks Bentley, whose song “I Hold On” we really championed on our show. After it went to No. 1, he wrote all the lyrics on a guitar and gave it to me. Eric Paslay, who was a big songwriter in Nashville before he went solo, did the same thing with his first single, “Friday Night.” I was the first to play the single, which also hit No. 1. So I have a guitar with every lyric to that song written on it. It’s quite special to me. In the land of constant competition that is show business, things like that are still pretty awesome.

Dierks and Eric are just a couple of the artists The Bobby Bones Show has helped hit the charts. When I say this, I’m not bragging about myself (well, maybe just a little: I do have a keen ear for awesomeness) but rather about our listeners, because they’re the ones who buy the music and make the hits. It took about a year for our radio show to influence the charts, but since then it’s crazy how loyal and how trustworthy the listeners of my radio show have become.

One of the most gratifying chart-toppers who have come through our doors is Chris Janson. Although he’d written songs for the likes of Tim McGraw, Chris got dropped from his own recording contract. He was playing bars and struggling, like so many musicians in Nashville. Talent is everywhere, all the time in this city. Everybody is a musician, singer, and/or songwriter. And I’m not talking about second-rate guitar players or people who need Auto-Tune to sound good. If you aren’t the best of the best, you will be chewed up and spit out here. You can go to any bar on any street and watch somebody who’s amazing and only working for tips. So Nashville is crowded with people struggling to make it in country music—and yet talented people from all over the country still move here year after year.

With Chris, I kept inviting him into the studio, even though I got some heat for it. A show of our scope is only supposed to have guests with as much mass appeal as possible, and that means at minimum a record deal. But anytime we did some sort of feature with artists, we would always invite Chris in, because he was our first-ever guest and just a guy. Most important, though, he is a great musician. That’s an important element to our listeners’ loyalty; we don’t push bad music on our show for any agenda, so they know they can trust us.

Anyway, one night Chris e-mailed me a song with the message “Hey, tell me what you think. I just put it up on iTunes myself.” I liked it and wanted to play it the next morning, so I e-mailed it to my producer, Ray, asking him to

put it up on my screen in case I had time to play it.

We ended up with about forty-five seconds to kill before a commercial break that morning in early 2015, so I said to our listeners, “I got an e-mail from our buddy Chris Janson . . .” Then I played just a snippet of the song “Buy Me a Boat.”

I thought the song was good, but my tastes don’t always mix perfectly with everyone else’s. Well, this time they did, because “Buy Me a Boat” exploded. Within thirty minutes of me playing forty-five seconds of the song, it went from nonexistent to one of the top downloads on iTunes. So then I played the full song (again risking pissing off the higher-ups at iHeartRadio, because you’re taught not to play untested music on a national level), and by the end of the day, it was the No. 1 song in iTunes country and in the Top 10 on the pop chart, too!

Of course, every record label was after Chris immediately then. Chris wound up signing with Warner Bros., which put out his debut album, named after “Buy Me a Boat,” its lead single, which went to No. 1 on the Billboard country charts. The album debuted at No. 4 on the Top Country Albums chart and No. 18 on the Billboard 200. The song, which sold more than 805,000 units, went gold, and Chris landed an opening spot on Toby Keith’s summer tour. The day his song climbed to No. 1, Chris sent me a note: “None of this would have happened if it wasn’t for you opening that e-mail, listening to my song, and playing it on the air. You got me a deal.”

If “Buy Me a Boat” didn’t convince me of the power of our listeners and the show, then “Girl Crush” really nailed it for me. Little Big Town—the band featuring Karen Fairchild, Kimberly Schlapman, Jimi Westbrook, and Phillip Sweet, all on vocals—had released their sixth studio album, Pain Killer. The single they were pushing was a party song called “Day Drinking.” But as soon as I heard “Girl Crush,” which was a deep track, I knew that was the real single.

It’s slow, and right now ballads are out of favor in country music, but I thought the song, with Karen on lead vocals, was different, in a good way, from anything else out there. So the next morning, I took to the airwaves to introduce the song to my listeners. I don’t want to sound like a broken record or a jerk, but “Girl Crush” instantly skyrocketed up the iTunes charts to the Top 5 that morning. Because of that segment, they put it out as the album’s second single after “Day Drinking.” And the rest is history. “Girl Crush,” with sales of nearly 1.5 million in the U.S., literally made Billboard history

when it spent eleven weeks at No. 1.

I should have gotten a shout-out by country music programmers everywhere, right? Nope. I created blowback. Apparently the song’s topic, one woman’s obsession with another, was too risqué for country radio. Playing lyrics like “I want to taste her lips / Yeah, ’cause they taste like you” were “promoting the gay agenda,” according to some angry listeners and station managers. Frightened program directors refused to play the song. Although so many country music fans downloaded the song that it was No. 4 on iTunes, it was only No. 33 in radio airplay rankings because DJs were afraid to play a song about lesbians. (Meanwhile the band says unequivocally that the song isn’t about lesbians. Who cares? I like lesbians.)

When I had Little Big Town in the studio, I went on a rant. “Is it frustrating to you that here is your song—that is one of the top ten sellers for weeks and weeks and weeks—and people on the radio are still afraid to play it because they think it’s a ‘lesbian song’?” I asked. “It would drive me insane!”

My bosses weren’t happy about me screaming on air at the country radio industry, which paid me my salary, for being small-minded hypocrites. But I wasn’t worried. I knew the listeners had my back.

They always do, which is why I can say what I believe—or maybe it’s the other way around. Because I say what I think, the listeners always have my back. Either way, I have enough strong support to take up the issues important to me.