#got a meal from this guy one time that was going on about 'yeah ive been there man i know how it is'

[is-this-yuri]

it's hilarious to me when people suggest resources for homelessness like i haven't already tried/considered them.

yes, homeless people know the local shelters and food banks. yes, homeless people know what a case manager is and often work with them. yes, homeless people know what food stamps are.

i've been doing this for over 4 years in 2 seperate states. if this had been military service, i'd be considered a veteran twice over. you don't know more about this lifestyle than i do. i have your pamphlets, your phone numbers, and your resource guides. i have all the business cards.

obviously people can't know what my experience is, and it's a good idea to suggest resources just in case. the thing is, whenever i say 'yeah, i tried that,' and 'i didn't like that place at all' people get... disheartened? annoyed? it's hard to tell. they don't seem to take it well in any case, especially cops.

not every homeless person wants a job, or medication, or rehab, and not all the resources are good. some of them are actively bad for homeless people.

not sure what my point with this post was, but i guess just listen to homeless people. instead of approaching with an idea of how you could help them, ask them what they want or need right now. trust them to lead their own lives. help them because they are people, not because you want them to get a job

[ghost-in-the-hall]

Fall For Me (Poly! Sleep Token x Fem! Reader) - Part V

Thank you as always to @spookyghostjelly for beta reading for me, you're the best bb!! ❤️❤️

Hello everyone!! This chapter is going to be a little more plot/lore heavy. But, we still get some sweet and flirty boys. IV brings Reader dinner and II is becoming more comfortable in his flirting. Thank you so much for reading, if you would like to be added to the tag list let me know!

WARNINGS: None

Part IV - Part VI

My Masterlist! ~ AO3 Link!

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Today was one of those times where your store was absolutely slammed. "I'll be right with you Jay, just give me one second." You clap the older man on the shoulder as you round the counter.

"No worries darlin', I got all day." He smiles cheerfully at you." You hurriedly set a fresh batch of coffee to brew, quickly cleaning up the station.

"Next batch will be done in about ten minutes guys." You smile as you pass by a tow of your usuals, a group of old timers that would set up shop at the shelf along one of the windows and spend their day drinking cups of coffee and playing scratch tickets.

"Now Miss (Y/N), don't you go running off, I got a vibe to pick with you young lady." You skidded to a halt, turning in your heels to face the myriad of curious stares.

"You better make this quick Randy, I got a line out the door." You huff with a sarcastic smile.

"I just want to know what you're doing hanging around with those cultists." Your eye involuntarily twitched as he spit out the word. "I'd just hate to see you get mixed up in that crowd."

"They're nice boys Randy." You hurry up to the counter as you continue to call over your shoulder. "It might do you some good to actually get to know them before you try to crucify them over nothing.

"Why don't you try inviting them to the Fall Festival?" Jay asks gently.

"Unfortunately I don't think they'd go. I know it's hard to believe but they're just as nervous about you as you are about them." You explain with a huff.

"I think it's worth a shot at least." He leans in a bit to whisper to you. "Now I can't speak for everyone obviously, but I think if the townsfolk actually got to meet them and see that they're not some big ol' scary monster in the woods… well, they might just come around." He offers his advice with a patient smile. "If you're saying they're a good group of guys I trust your judgment. Your word means a lot more to me than some blood thirsty reporter after a story."

"Thanks Jay, I'll ask them. Who knows, maybe they'll show up." He bids you farewell before leaving you to tend to the rest of your sea of customers. After what felt like an eternity your store was finally empty. You groaned, slumping over the counter. The cool linoleum felt nice against your sticky skin. You jolted up at the sound of the bell ringing above the door, eyes flashing over to reveal II and IV looking at you curiously. "Hey guys." You give them a tired smile.

"Everything alright, love? You look exhausted." II approaches the counter, his eyes full of concern.

"Yeah, just a long day." You explain. You sit down in your chair, resting your elbows on the counter. II copies your motions, his eyes searching yours, his nose just barely out of reach from bumping into you.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" You shake your head in response.

"You boys are already too good to me as it is." You giggle as II playfully rolls his eyes. "I'll be alright, just gotta do some quick cleaning before I go upstairs. Then it's a cup of ramen cause I'm too lazy to cook and shitty movie re-runs until I pass out on my couch."

"A cup of ramen isn't a meal, doll." He tuts.

"I know that, doctor." He chuckles at your sarcastic tone. "I'll be alright, one night without a proper dinner isn't going to kill me."

"I wish we could come help more around here, I hate seeing you so tired." IV chimes in, dropping an armful of snacks on the counter.

"I appreciate all your help, but I promise you, I'll be just fine." You respond with a reassuring smile. Neither of them seemed satisfied with your answer but they could tell you weren't in the mood to argue.

II sighs, "just promise me after you finish up here you'll go get some rest."

"You have my word." You chuckle. The two of them finish their shopping, idly chatting with you as you do some cleaning up. "Goodnight guys, get home safely." You wave as they head out.

"I better not come back here and see you exhausted tomorrow." II warns playfully.

"I'll try my best." He winks at you before pushing out the door. IV wishes you goodnight before joining his companion.

You collapsed on your couch with a groan once you finally made it upstairs. Despite how much you were trying to convince yourself you weren't hungry your growling stomach said otherwise. You lay there, staring blankly at the ceiling, when suddenly the familiar rumble of a pick up truck pulls into the lot. You stood, walking over to the window and pushing the curtain aside. You saw IV fumbling with something in his passenger seat before kicking the door open. You met him at the back door, he froze when he saw you standing at the top of the landing with a smirk spread across your features. "I, uh, I brought some food." He offers bashfully.

"Come on up IV." You chuckle before heading back inside. IV steps into your apartment, eyeing you curiously.

"I'm sorry I showed up without an invitation." He apologizes. You smile, taking a couple steps closer to him.

"You're welcome here anytime." He breathes out a laugh as his eyes dart to the floor. You offer to take the food for him, setting up a spot for the both of you on your couch. "I am curious, how did you manage to get fast food without raising any suspicion?" You ask as you pop a fry in your mouth. IV chuckles in response, adjusting to sit more comfortably.

"It's a funny story actually, I pulled up at the drive through and the kid working there told me he liked my costume." You laugh.

"Really?" He nods. The thought of the Fall Festival popped into your mind; how you would love to bring the four of them because you know they would have a great time, how it would give them a chance to see the town for what it really was, and of course your little crush on the charming masked men didn't help either. "IV, do you think Vessel plans on ever going into town? You know, aside from you guys making supply runs under the cover of darkness." You joke.

"If I'm being completely honest, I don't know." He pulls his mask away from his face to take a sip of his drink. "I'm the newest of our little group so I can't give you the whole story, but from what I understand up until we reached here things weren't too great. There's a lot of people out there who want to get rid of us before they even have a chance to get to know us. We've been run out of town after town, sometimes through more… humane means… other times not so much. But, we have something good here, with the camp in the woods, with you." He pauses for a moment to smile at you. "That's something I want to try and hold onto for as long as I can."

You study him for a moment, "what if I tried to help?" You offer. "I could be the middleman for you. People in town know me, I grew up here, that has to mean something. I just… I don't want you to have to constantly be worried about someone being out to get you. I know that if they met you, if they got to know the people I know you are, they wouldn't be afraid anymore."

"I'm sure Vessel would be interested in hearing you out. Who knows, maybe you'll actually convince him." He chuckles. "Between you and me, if you bat those pretty little eyes at him, I'm sure you could convince him to do just about anything." He jokes as he shoots you a wink.

"I bet that line works on all the girls, huh?" You giggle, trying to shake off the heat that had settled in your cheeks.

"As long as it works on you I'm set." You playfully smack his arm. He nestles back into the couch cushions, letting out a soft groan as he stretches an arm over the back, the back of your neck buzzing as you feel his warmth seep into your skin.

"You're all a bunch of flirts." You smile at him.

"A bunch of flirts?" You roll your eyes at his mock annoyance. "It's not my fault that you're so captivatingly beautiful." You noticed that growing familiarity in your chest. The steady thrum of your heartbeat as you tried to hide your flustered state. IV leans in closer to you, his side pressed flush against your body. "Once I met you I understood what they were all fussing over." He chuckles before muttering, "the perfect being brought to us by Sleep." You turn to look at him, his hazy blue eyes coaxing you in deeper with every passing second.

"Who's… who's Sleep?" You whisper. IV tilts his head, a curious expression matching yours. The pieces must have clicked together because he returned to his usual smiling self a moment later.

"You'll find out soon, Vessel's probably waiting for the right time to explain." You accepted his explanation without a fuss. You trusted that if it was something you needed to know they would tell you. He glanced up at the clock, "I'm sorry to cut things short, love, but I should head back." You nod, standing and walking him over to the door.

"Thank you for bringing some food." You smile.

"Anytime." He responds with a wink. "Get some rest, alright? II will throw a fit." You both shared a laugh before IV reached out and pulled you into his arms. You froze at first, not fully comprehending that he had wrapped you in a hug. But, the moment realization set in your arms slipped around his torso. Neither of you were in a rush to let go, the two of you standing in a comfortable silence as IV held you close, gently swaying you from side to side.

"Goodnight, doll." His hand lingers in your hip, taking your hand and giving it a gentle squeeze before slipping out the door.

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Tag List: @spookyghostjelly @herripinkle @thepoisonedchalice @themultiverseofmars @saturnhas82moons @wingsofeternitysstuff @creamwhxre @itsyagirl-snowflake @bookishpenguino @m0cha-bunny @coreofpleasure @madsthenightowl @dangerkitten1705 @rainy-darling @shad0wcast @amara-among-the-stars @venuswinnyix @dontpercieve-me-pls @ripleyswife @thepityscene @lipstick-and-lycanthropes @vmpirekiss @savaneafricaine @mustluvecho @the-hole-in-terzos-shoe (I think that's everyone, if I missed you or you would like to be added please let me know!!)

[victoria-grimesss]

tear you apart - part IV

Shiny new Masterlist

->Pairing: König x fem!reader

->Words: 4.7k

->Warning: MDNI!, fluff, König spilling his heart out to his favorite girl, roadhead, car sex, outdoor oral, face sitting, overstimulation, pretty much porn with plot at this point. 

->A/N: A bit different that the other chapter but I wanted to do something a little sweeter.

Your dreams are luxurious and delicious these nights, a whirlwind of experiences ever since you transferred to the new base. You dream of luxuries far beyond your reach with a man who sure as hell should be out of your reach too. You dine on five star meals on the beach, sip champagne in a clawfoot tub overlooking waterfalls, have ravenous passionate love making sessions in silk sheets. 

König has rewired your brain and embedded himself within you.

You awake in his bed again as has been the same routine for a few weeks now, you’ve moved a stash of your stuff to his room at his request of course. You don't see each other too often during the day so night and early mornings are the times where you catch up and enjoy eachothers company.

Spending a few spare moments to soak in the smell of the sheets you roll out of bed and notice a flower in a tall glass of water sitting beside a note. 

Chicken scratch, yep written by König alright. You smile as you envision him scrawling it quickly before leaving for the day.

My love,

Clear your schedule this afternoon, I plan to take you somewhere very special.

-König, your one and only. (boyfriend)     :)

Boyfriend. 

Huh I guess that's really what the two of you are now. You both danced around the word for a while now. You suppose you were a couple in the grand view of it, slept in the same bed, ate dinner together, got ready for bed together, said goodmorning and goodnight to each other. You could get used to this. Off base dates are far and few too, sometimes you'll take walks around base, the views are amazing nearby and it makes you yearn for your own country-side cottage with a garden.

You ready yourself and go about your day, you’ve flowed into a nice routine as of late. Get up, sometimes with König, eat in the mess hall, workout, training, dinner with König sometimes, and usually not get a lot of sleep together because he's too busy having your eyes roll to the back of your head. 

You can’t complain.

The mess hall is loud and crawling with activity this morning, you enjoy it more than you thought you would. The activity is a welcome distraction from homesickness. You eat in silence, sitting with a few others you’ve somewhat befriended. Bennet hasn't been around lately, thinking of if now you can’t remember the last time you did see him.

You clear your throat,

“Have any of you seen Bennet around?”

One of the other guys laughed.

“Yea I saw him alright. Saw him on his way out. Guy got so scared of the colonel he transferred back to his home base. Guess the two of them clashed over something. But if you ask me, I just don't think the guy was cut out for this line of work.”

“Yeah, that's weird. Strange.” 

You continue eating, your question answered to your requirements. 

König is intimidating, sure he’s nice to you but you can’t imagine being an outsider, being on his bad side, or god forbid being his enemy. The stories you’ve heard about the things he’s done on the battlefield could make anyone uneasy. 

Breakfast finishes up and you head to the gym where you’re thankfully uninterrupted during your workout. Cleaning up you hit your next stop, the shooting range. It’s mostly empty, the weather is nice today so many people are using the outdoor range. 

You take your pistol, silencer equipped and a long range sniper down to the last stall and prep your gear.

You use the sniper first and take deep breaths before firing. 

The door opens and you assume it’s just someone else using the stalls until a voice makes you jump.

“Hold it higher liebling.” 

Your hand grips your heart, putting the gun down you turn fully around, being met with König standing tall with his hands behind his back.

“König, ever heard not to sneak up on someone with a gun?” You lean against the counter.

“Am I mistaken or is that your forte in the field? I’m simply a superior observing my team members, wouldn't want you using the tools the wrong way right?”

He's so quick with his quips, you smile then turn around bringing the gun up leaning your cheek on the side as to see through the scope.

You feel his hands on your hips and he kicks your feet further apart, you look down at his feet that are standing on the outside of yours. 

He brings his head down right next to your ear,

“Hold it back harshly into your shoulder, so the kickback won’t knock you down.”

“You’re making it hard to focus.” 

“I would assume you would be able to focus even with distractions yea? But I suppose our time in bed has proven otherwise.”

You blush but regain your composure quickly until one of his hands stays on your hips and the other brushes your cheek to move your hair slightly.

You shoot once, then twice, hitting the target both times.

His voice has gotten even lower, whisper dancing the line of soundwaves.

“You read my note yea?”

“I did, plan to tell me where we’re going?”

“Nope.”

He kisses the shell of your ear then your cheek through his mask. 

“I will see you later then, you’ll meet me in the lower garage at 1500 alright?”

“Oooh, meeting my big strong colonel in a dark garage, I certainly hope he doesn't take advantage of me.” You laugh and bat your lashes at him.

He squeezes your hip and scoffs playfully, 

“Keep talking to me this way and we certainly won’t even make it to the car. Busy yourself and meet me there, don't be late.”

He releases his grasp and you miss it already.

“Shall I pack a bag?” You ask.

“Don't bother, I’ve got everything handled. 

“Yes sir.” 

He steps away from you, walking to the door ignoring all others in the range and you watch him until the door closes. 

Taking a steadying breath you focus once more unto the range, feeling his phantom touch still.

—

You stop by your room before going to the garage, the lights flicker as you shut your door and you grow more and more excited for the evening to come. 

Opting for a simple two piece set underneath plain jeans, boots, a simple black shirt. 

The walk to the garage is straightforward, taking a dimly lit stairwell downwards and the garage smells of dust and you take it the electrical in this place could use an upgrade. Probably not high on the budget list.

There are rows of military vehicles and equipment, storage and the likes. An area sectioned off from the others hold what looks like personal vehicles, some nice and some looking decrepit. 

A door slams in that area and you make your way over,

“König? That you?” 

“Y/N, yes it is me! Just finishing up, go ahead and get in the doors unlocked.”

He drives a larger SUV, like the kind you see FBI agents driving, suiting you guess you never really pictured what car he drove but you can assume he drives whatever kind of car he can fit in so style types are probably very restricted.

You enter the car, the inside smelling like leather and the cologne he wears. It’s clean, damn near pristine the same as his room. The trunk closes and he gets in, his seat all the way back, he adjusts  and looks over to you, his eyes bright and he's buzzing with excitement. 

“Comfortable?” He smiles softly at you, he's wearing a black tactical long sleeve shirt, dark jeans, boots, and his usual hood of course. He looks good in black.

“Very. Can I ask where we're going yet?”

“Nope, just sit back and relax schatz.” 

He starts the car and pulls out of the garage, informing the guard of his time away.

The tall gray walls of the base and large fences you know melt away into a wonderful countryside with creeks, tall trees, and rounding hills. König has one hand on the steering wheel and the other on your knee, his thumb rubbing small patterns.

“This is nice.” You breathe a sigh of relief, adjusting in your seat and König’s hand on your knee slips higher. 

König looks relaxed, he deserves this. Always working so hard… he should definitely relax.

Your hand wanders from the center console to his arm, rubbing the tight muscles underneath his hoodie. He squeezes the inside of your thigh in thanks.

Trailing your hand down his arm to the outside of his thigh, holding your hand there and tipping your head to look over at him.

He laughs breathily, “What are you doing, liebling?” His eyes shift from the road, your hand, and your face. 

“I just want to show you how much I appreciate you, König.” He shutters hearing his name from your lips and your hand moves to the now hardening bulge in his pants, he readjusts his hips to get more comfortable.

“Scheiße, you’re going to get us killed, sit back down I’m serious.”

He’s not serious, there is not even one percent of serious inflection in his tone, he speaks with need, his mouth already being filled with cotton at your movements.

You’ve leaned over the center console, face next to his ear as you unbutton his pants and palm him through his briefs, he’s solid where he sits and your mouth is already watering.

He shutters and his eyes flutter for a second,

“Eyes ahead baby, I can’t do anything if you don’t keep us steady ok?”

He does not answer, the blood isn't in his head anymore anyway, well not the one on his shoulders at least.

The trees race by the window as fast as your thoughts race in your head, you lean down and kiss him over the cloth, you feel his abdomen grow tense.

“I can stop if you really want-”

“Stop right now and I'll turn the car around.” 

You grin, mumbling a yes sir before moving your hand under the band of his briefs and giving a kiss to the tip. He takes a steady, concentrated, painful breath in and the exhale is so shaky you feel him tremble.

You give small licks from top to bottom, he’s a big guy so there’s certainly more to love. 

“Scheiße, ficken, Liebling ja” 

You take him fully in your mouth and he's warm, and fits right in place. You hum and he moans in response, you don’t think you’ll ever tire of hearing him like that. You take what doesn't fit in your mouth within the grasp of your hand starting at a steady pace. The music playing in the car isn't even registering in your head, the heavy weight in your hand and mouth is all you focus on.

“Fuck my love, your mouth feels-feels spectacular, I do not deserve what you give me.” 

He groans and bucks his hips up into your mouth, one hand on the wheel and the other gently being placed onto your neck, moving to the back of your head where he gently caresses your hair.

You’re working on him until he begins to shudder and you pull away, he tries to chase you with your hips but you lean back and kiss him on his cheek. His eyes are dark and he glances from you and the road.

“You’re going to kill me, Mein Liebling. He's panting, hand now gripping your hair tighter, you’re far from dry down under and touch his hand that's in your hair and move it down your front and under your pantline. You both moan when his fingers make contact with your wetness, he draws uncoordinated shapes into you, from your clit all the way to your entrance. He presses your entrance through your panties and it’s like he’s knocking on a door asking for permission to grant you the pleasure you oh so want, no need.

“König, please. I need you, I know you need me too.”

You whine, looking down at where his cock sits exposed, leaking heavily with every swipe of his fingers on you.

“My love. liebling.” 

He grits through his teeth when you take his hand once more and more your panties to the side allowing him unrestricted access to where the flames burn the brightest.

“Scheiße, du gewinnst” He pulls the car over, sitting on the dirt shoulder of the road, heavy tree cover surrounding you and you hear his heavy breathing.

He puts the car in park, removing his seatbelt and since the seat was already set all the way back due to his size he leans back and pats his lap.

“Come take what you want.” 

Eyes dark and hungry he watches you remove your pants and move over the center console onto his lap, his cock sitting right in front of you so it brushes against your stomach, you get a visual of just how deep he will slip into you. 

You’re shaking with anticipation when you grasp him again, pumping a few times before raising yourself to tease the tip over your panties.

His eyes are focused on where you touch him, his hands on your hips gently, awaiting your move.

“Get on with it..” 

His voice is dark and shadowy, his patience growing thin as you tease and tease him again, he’s a patient man but only for so long.

You play with him until you hear him growl deep in his chest, taking your panties in his grasp and you hear them rip.

“König! You seem to have an affinity for destroying each pair of panties I own.” 

You try to quip back but your voice is so breathily and weak it holds no volume. 

“I’d rather you not wear them at all, when we have a place of our own you won’t.”

You both moan when he pushes your hips down harshly, he sits fully inside you and you feel euphoric, one because he fills you so deliciously it has your mouth watering again and two he mentioned the two of you having a place of your own. Perhaps it’s him being so drunk on lust he says things he does not mean but your head is already slipping on all sane thoughts so you file that away for later.

His head tips back when he’s fully sheathed within you savoring the warmth and wetness you provide. 

“König, fuck. You’re so big.” You whine on top of him and his eyes regain their focus on you, he’s already too sensitive from your mouth earlier you might actually kill him with how tightly you’re wrapped around him.

His grip on your hips is bruising as usual and you have no qualms with it, feeling his grip reminds you this is all real and you need to ground yourself as you begin to move up and down on him the noises amplified in the car.

“Yes, just like that darling, fuck! You’re so, so good, so tight.” 

You start to move faster, spurred on by his praises your breathing grows faster as does his. Your hands try to gain purchase on the wheel behind you as you gain more speed, knocking the horn you breathily laugh and he grabs your hands and puts them on his shoulders. You grip your nails into him and he growls, now thrusting up into you he meets you halfway and you’re moaning his name so loudly now your throat hurts. 

The windows are fogged and you’re sweaty, hair sticking to your forehead.

He moves one hand from your hip to play with your clit, moving smooth and quick circles into you and you bow inwards your hand slapping onto the cold window, leaving a handprint on the fog it slips down and you wrap both arms around his neck your legs growing shaky and weak from your approaching high.

“König, don’t stop don-don’t stop please please.” You’re whining, squirming, and writhing in his lap an utter and complete mess and he drinks you in. Your pleasure makes his throb and balls tighten as he continues rubbing your clit and thrusting up into you.

“I can feel you getting close, you want to cum yea?” 

He’s panting and sounds just as destroyed as you are.

“Yes, I can’t hold on much longer. I want it so bad.” You whine and he stops altogether.

You cry, hitting his chest and trying to move but he holds your hip still.

“König plea-.”

“Beg.”

“What?” 

“You want to cum? Beg.” He’s not joking, he’s all serious and you whine again before spewing the filthiest words that’s ever come from your mouth, begging and praising him like a God to be worshiped. 

“Please König, god please I can’t, I need it. You’re so big, I need you to make me cum, fuck.”

“Good girl, always listening and doing what I say, I think you deserve a reward.” 

Before you can say anything he begins his thrusting and rubbing ten-fold and you once again hold onto him like your life depends on it as you cum harder than ever before, your vision is spotty and he’s praising you through it. He follows you through the high seating you firmly on his lap, holding himself as deep and he can reach and flooding you thoroughly. 

You both sit together for a good while, panting growing into soft breaths and you pull away from his chest and look at him, smile on your face.

“You think you can make it the rest of the way now? Are you satisfied?” 

He cups both of your cheeks, kissing your nose through his mask.

“I think I'll be ok for a little bit. Maybe.” 

You move off of him, both of your least favorite part is when he has to leave your warmth, but he’s never gone for long. 

You put on your pants, no panties due to König but you would assume he packed you some more, although his previous words would assume he rather you never wear any.

“Ready?” He’s buckled his pants again and you can’t help but notice the sizable mess you made on his lap, the bottom of his shirt and top of his pants wet.

“König, made a bit of a mess on you, sorry.” You grow shy.

“I like it, it challenges me to make you cum harder the next time.” 

Oh God.

He turns back onto the road and you continue your trip down the road, you roll your window down, still warm from your session and the cool mountain air fills your lungs and you rest a hand out of the window. 

—

“Liebling, we’re here.”

“Huh.”

You shoot up in your seat, König standing on your right side, the passenger door open his hand gently on your shoulder as he shakes you awake.

“You passed out, I clearly tired you out.”

“Shut up, you’re full of yourself.”

He laughs, offering his hand to help you out, you take it and observe the scenery around you. It’s late afternoon now and you’re parked in the driveway of a small countryside home, it’s dark inside so you can assume you’re not staying with anyone. There’s a large field surrounding the home. Trees lining the meadow and plants that held out over the cold weather stand strong and the evening sun is even a bit warmer than it had been recently. 

“König this is beautiful, is this your place?”

“Yea, just somewhere small when I need to get away. Don’t come here often, don’t have many reasons to visit. But I wanted to share this with you.” 

He's unpacking the car, grabbing both of your bags. 

“Do you need help?”

He laughs.

“No, I do not need help.” 

The car is locked and you follow him up the path to the house, clovers dot the front path and a flower box on the window is untouched, dry soil packing the inside.

He opens the door and the ceilings are high, but it’s still cozy, lived in even if he says he doesnt come here often. Shoes are discarded at the door and you hang your jacket on the coat rack.

“This is beautiful König, didn't take you for an interior designer.”

He sets the bags down near the front door and you take in the room.

“I actually had my mother decorate it, I don’t have much of a sense for style like she does.”

“Do you see her often? Your mom.”

“Holidays, I try to call her often but when it’s busy it’s harder. She understands.”

“Well I’m sure she’s very proud to have such an accomplished son.”

He smiles, head tipping down, “I hope so.”

He claps his hands, ending the heartfelt moment.

“You look around, make yourself at home. I will start a fire and later we will go watch the sunset ok?”

“Very well.” 

Your heart is giddy and light. He’s so kind and nice and handsome and sweet and a million other words to describe him. The house is more spacious inside than it appears outside, a large archway leads to the kitchen, one bedroom and a nice bathroom. Everything is high up, the shower head is fit just for him, cabinets stacked high, large bed which looks enticingly comfortable.

“König!” You call for him as you look around.

“Yes, mein Liebling.”

“How long are we staying here?”

“Just for the night my love, couldn't get much time away approved.”

“Oh, ok. Will we come back here eventually?”

“If you wish to do so then we will.” 

You observe the view out of the window and König wraps his arms around your waist.

“Scared me.” You laugh, your hands tracing along his hands and up his arms.

“My apologies, shall we head outside to enjoy the view?” He kisses the top of your head and you melt once more.

“Lead the way.”

He brings a thick blanket with him outside and lays it down in the meadow, you lay with your head on his chest, his arm wrapped securely around you, watching the multitude of colors paint the sky as the sun descends another day, bringing a sweeping array of stars and cool breezes. 

“Thank you König. You’ve been so kind to me and bringing me here means a lot.”

“All that is mine is yours, if you’d allow me I’d like to show my appreciation again.”

You shiver in his grasp and he holds you tighter.

“Yes.”

That's all he needed to hear before he lifts up his mask and takes your lips in his, he trails his lips down to your neck and leaves new bright bruises and snakes a hand up your shirt to play with your breasts, nipples hard from the combination of the cold and his touch. 

“Pants off.” He tugs at your waistband and you comply, the cool air hitting your core.

His hand moves down and caresses your body thoroughly, missing no spot.

“Sit on my face Schatz.”

You pause and look at him.

“I don’t want to suffocate you.” 

He actually laughs now, a full laugh.

“I will die a happy man.” You push him back, he’s gleeful and you laugh as well.

“No really darling, you will not ‘suffocate me’ get up here.” He uses heavy quotation marks around his words and you carefully make your way up to his face, knees placed on each side of his head.

He lifts his mask right to above the peak of his nose and he licks his lips eagerly, eyes only focused on where you sit above him.

“Take your shirt off too.” He strokes your thighs slowly leaving goosebumps in his path.

“What if someone sees?!”

“No one is coming out here trust me. I wouldn't have you expose yourself if somewhere were to see what’s all mine right?” He bites his lip as you discard you shirt and bra

Completely exposed outside as you sit above a man you care about fills you with a fire once more.

“It is like I have died and gone to heaven, you are breathtaking.” He kisses the inside of your thighs as he talks, leaving small bites.

He truly feels he's undeserving. The setting sun casts a glow on your back where it illuminates your outline in soft light, it casts on the dips and curves of your body, the swell of your breasts softly lit.

He grows hard again in his pants but wants right now to be all about you.

“Now sit darling and relax.” You sit slowly onto his awaiting mouth, hovering over him as he kisses you first and licks from entrance to your clit. He has to lift his head to reach you which frustrates him.

“I said sit.” He grips your waist and forces you to sit fully on his face, his mouth latching tightly onto your clit and you gasp and he moans, eyes rolling back into his head as he tastes you once more. He can taste the both of you from the car ride and he licks feverishly at you making your head spin. The stubble on his face scratching the inside of your thighs so nicely.

You brace your hand on his head trying to make him slow but he won't relent from his work. He’s a thorough man and once he starts a job he won’t stop until it's finished. He works on you and your chest starts rising faster and faster, he sucks licks and ravages like he’s never eaten before. 

“König, don’t stop please.” 

You moan and tip your head back, he groans as you arch backwards hands bracing on his midsection and you moan freely into the air. His mumbled words vibrate your core and it makes you reach your peak that much quicker.

König doesn't stop, not after you cum and he won’t slow down, his face is soaked and his pupils dilated.

“König it’s too much, please.”

You try to move your hips away and he growls the hands on your waist gets tighter and you’re able to lift just a bit off his lips for reprieve, he whines.

“Please darling, give me another ok? Just a few more.” 

You can’t say no to him, he’s licking his lips again, your fluid soaking his face and nose, it glistens in the sunset glow and you can’t say no to him. So you lower yourself again, he smiles as his mouth meets you halfway. 

“Fuck, König.” It isn’t long before you cum on his mouth another two times, he’s quick to draw it out of you and he knows what buttons to push and ways to move to make you unravel.

By the end he’s kissing the inside of your thighs again and you pant down at him mind turned to sand by his actions.

“You look beautiful like this, we’ll have to do this more often.” His grip is light and his thumb makes patterns on your exposed skin and you shiver from the cold now, the sun fully set and the stars in full swing. 

“Here, let's get you inside, warm up yea?” He gives you his shirt to put on and carries, much to your protest, you back inside where you both shower and sit on the couch in front of the fire.

His arms are wrapped around you and your eyelids grow heavy as you rest on him.

“König.”

“Yes schatz?”

“Did you mean it earlier when you said we’d have a place of our own?”

He smiles, you can’t see it but he hums at the thought. The two of you retire from the force and he can come home to your awaiting gaze and warm touch.

“I would love it, more than anything. You complete me, relax me and ignite fire within me all the same. To live by your side would be eternal bliss.”

“I would love that too.” 

You smile and cozy yourself closer to him, your eyes grow heavy and you feel content giving yourself to sleep in his arms.

[thewertsearch]

Ask Comp 01/07

Anonymous asked:i think youre the first liveblogger ive seen to actually remember that orphaner dualscar was eridan’s flarping name?

Mindfang clearly describes the Serkets, so I wonder if Dualscar says anything about the Amporas?

Eridan's greatest enemy does have a duality theme, after all - and he was certainly scarred when the guy stole his crush >:)

@captorations asked:i have terrible news regarding homestuck and the good place: https://x.com/nbcthegoodplace/status/1039908767763259392?lang=en not to mention that. well. the two share more than you've encountered yet. it's very likely not a coincidence. have fun! oh and. re: my ongoing campaign of pointing out the homestuck ancestry of tlt characters. please compare aradia's "i am very much alive and i intend to stay that way" with dulcinea's "i'm not in the river and i won't ever be again"

...oh my god.

On reflection, this makes a lot of sense. Homestuck's fandom is pretty large, and some of its members were bound to be involved in the production of mainstream media. Still, it's wild to see a Homestuck reference - or, technically, a Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff reference - on the official Twitter for a show this big.

And Aradia does have a lot in common with Dulcinea, doesn't she? For one thing, they didn't really start influencing the plot until after they died.

Anonymous asked: Not really important anymore, but looking at what Gamzee has in his Strife Deck, it doesn’t look like he has any ranged options: he’s got the bowling pins, what appear to be a discarded sickle and lance from Karkat and Tavros respectively, what I’m PRETTY SURE is a whip of some sort, and the Zillyhoo hammer. The closest to a ranged weapon in that stack is the whip, or maybe the pins if he’s willing to throw them, but neither seem like they’d work very well against Vriska. Barring some secret power or other plot twist, I think Gamzee would genuinely be the underdog in that matchup. (Which feels weird, because Gamzee’s been mutating into a slasher villain while Vriska’s still very much an antihero protagonist. Usually the power balance is the other way around with those archetypes!)

On the face of it, Gamzee didn't seem to have great odds in that fight - but it's hard to know for sure with this pesky Bard. His Strife Deck contains plenty of cards we haven't seen, and whatever he did to the Black King is still shrouded in mystery. Everything's just so uncertain with him.

@mimescantscream asked: I've really been holding back all this time, but now that we've met the Grand-highblood, it really is extra painful to see a Gamzee who was once incredibly loving of his friends (despite their constant ridicule) end up falling down the path that fate seems to have pre-ordained for him. Was he truly always meant to repeat echoes of the past? Could things ever have gone differently for him?

Yeah, I've been having similar thoughts. His PoV seemed completely sincere, so I don't think his original personality was a fabrication, or anything. I think there is a part of Gamzee that cares about his friends - and maybe even he wants it back.

@jade-harley-real asked: […] I want a rant on the bad doctor from you pls pls pls

Scratch is straight up the scariest character in Homestuck.

What's he up to now? Hard to say since we're not telling him what to do. Guardians can never be told what to do.

The aura of menace he's cultivated is incredible, especially considering he barely even moves. He's playing the entire cast like a fiddle, armed with nothing but a typewriter and his own supercharged brain - and there's no doubt in my mind that his confidence isn't a mask. He knows he's going to win in the end.

English is coming. He's basically already here.

@elkian asked: I'll probably never be a Vriska FAN, but I gotta admit, she really never had a chance, what with the only adults in her life being: a trollvorous spider 1 missed meal away from eating her, Marquise "I do what I want" Mindfang, and Doc Scratch. Some role models! @manorinthewoods asked: So, now that Mindfang has been revealed, here's a question for you: how much of Vriska's Vriskyness is because she's Vriska, how much is because of Mindfang, how much is because of her lusus, and how much is because of Alternia in general? ~LOSS (20/6/24)

This is why I don't think she'd be like this on Earth. At this point, it's obvious that none of her Incidents were the result of her personality as it naturally arose.

I mean, look how anti-Aradiacide she was! They weren't even really friends!

Anonymous asked: ‘AA: there are all sorts of friends to meet AA: ones you already know and ones you dont’ I mean…couldn’t she just be referring to various doomed selves? I don’t see why the dream bubbles would just be confined to the alpha timeline seeing as the furthest ring is weird in terms of time and space

I was assuming that only Alpha Timeline deaths would be preserved by the Bubbles, but you're right - I'm not sure that was a reasonable assumption.

The Horrorterrors seem to eschew the concept of the Alpha Timeline. and, they've coordinated with both Doomed and Alpha versions of Rose and Dave. Plus, yeah, there is no time in the Ring, so timelines are probably meaningless there. Why would it only interface with the Alpha?

If the Bubbles do preserve doomed souls, then we might also run into the John who died to Typheus, and the Jade he couldn't save. That's a pair of ghosts I'd be very interested to meet.

Anonymous asked: If every Aradia comes back from every doomed timeline, the number would double each time, so you could get over a thousand of her with only ten doomed timelines.

Fair point- although, if an already doomed Aradia went back in time again, she'd be double doomed. Is that even possible? Would she die twice as quickly?

@mhafanlol2000 asked: Your issues with quirks and speech-to-text are pretty simple to explain. If a troll were to speak into a non-modified speech-to-text program, it would output text with their quirk. Because they, quite literally, speak in their quirk. Terezi probably isnt actually saying “YOU H4V3 LOST TH3 G4M3”, each number at a time, but the vibes are definitely there. I don’t know, this is hard to describe if you don’t inherently get it.

I think, jokes aside, it is indeed about the vibes.

In the troll intro pages, you get told a little about how each troll talks, and I think that's how we're supposed to translate their quirks to an audible medium.

Anonymous asked: i think ppl in the fandom have over time kinda built up a like, generally separate understanding of quadrants from how theyre described in the "official" explanation. which is like, not representative of how these terms are used in homestuck, but probably more useful for describing Good relationships that Do Not Suck. like basically making moirails equivalent to being queer platonic partners, making blackrom more about having a healthy fun rivalry, that kinda stuff.

It's funny, actually - I don't think I've encountered a single asker who accepts the quadrants as they're originally described.

The main issue is that, with the possible exception of matespritship, we haven't seen a single troll relationship with reflects the infodump's explanation of the quadrants. I think Hussie might just have jumped the gun a little when dropping it.

Anonymous asked: Shoutout to Karkat poking his friends in the background! Terezi (crying over Dave) and now Soloux (talking to Terezi). Karkat isn’t sure what the right response is but wants to be included! Reminds me of actual cats, just putting a paw on you for no discernible reason. @manorinthewoods asked: I'd like to note that Karkat poking Terezi's tears is the same sprite (and same 'poooke'!) as Karkat poking Sollux's burnt-out eyesockets. ~LOSS (12/6/24)

My man just likes poking.

@alicesoinions asked: not much to say just wanted to say I really enjoy your liveblog!!

Glad you're enjoying!

I've actually got a few new followers recently. Maybe I'm showing up in people's recommendations?

@heliotropopause asked: Dream bubbles are pretty neat, eh? Neat enough to inspire half of HtN, I'd bet.

…wait.

Oh my god, you're right. It's literally a River Bubble. They're both located in afterlives, for crying out loud!

Anonymous asked: Wanted to thank your liveblog for reminding me of a lot that I had flat out missed in canon, due to not putting it together or just reading too quickly. Most recently and notably on my mind right now, is that Feferi is the one who set up the dreambubbles!!! I had always thought that they were just a part of the world that readers didn’t know about yet, like how we weren’t yet introduced to Alternia and it’s moons until act 5. This went right over my head and it has me absolutely REELING (fishing pun included just for fef!!)

Feferi truly is the MVP.

I wonder what happened to dead Players before the Bubbles?

They're certainly not the only type of afterlife in the multiverse. Alternia has at least two types of undead, which implies that the Players are very, very lucky to have retained their personhood postmortem. Imagine this was what Feferi looked like in Jade's dream.

Anonymous asked: Knowing sollux, he probably already had coded his tech to recognize if his speech ever changed, and gave himself a different typing quirk for it, long ago. Not because he knew or thought it would happen, but because he thought it would be a fun coding project ((I know nothing about coding))

And yet, you somehow know exactly how we think.

Anonymous asked: Something I hadn’t really thought about, until I started reading this liveblog, is how much VRISKA ((autocorrect decided to caps that and I’m leaving it in lol)) was manipul8ted into a lot of her violence. Scratch pushed her towards vengeance against Aradia, and she didn’t want to go through with it. Did VRISKA ever tell anyone how much of her live she spent resisting these forces, or even really acknowledge it? She didn’t hide Spidermom, and arguably her need to kill other trolls was to prevent herself from being killed. BUT on the other hand, VRISKA voice would make it sound like a compliment “I almost didn’t kill you why don’t you appreciate me!!!!!!!!”

The thing is, VRISKA probably felt a lot of social pressure not to tell people she was coerced into her crimes. That would reveal that she was reluctant to kill, which is the opposite of what the Empire wants.

@manorinthewoods asked: You could have written a great Homestuck if you'd been Hussie. I think your style, if translated from reacting-to-comic to making-comic, would work great with what Homestuck is, and could have made a better product. I think you'd make a cerebral Homestuck, which would have been cool to read, except I would have botched reading it like I botched reading Homestuck in our Alpha Timeline. ~LOSS (11/6/24)

Thank you! I've tried to write before, actually, but whenever I reread my stories, they come off as esoteric, stilted and a little hard to follow. It's not an insurmountable problem, of course, and I really need to take a writing workshop at some point.

I'd love to make a webcomic, too, but my art also leaves a lot to be desired. I can adapt sprites just fine, but original drawings are hard, guys. Did anyone else know about this?

Anonymous asked: i counted just now, and only like 24 out of all 54 paradox space comics have zero spoilers. some of them are certainly more substantial than others (e.g. i counted ones that include jade’s consorts that you havent seen yet as spoilers) but a lot of them have Very Big Spoilers

It would have been awfully messy. I'm probably just going to read it once I've reached the Gigapause of 2013, and no longer need to worry about spoilers.

@bladekindeyewear asked: “Nepeta wasn't trying to pacify Equius, nor did she seem to be fulfilling any rigidly defined 'role' in his life. They just came off as very good friends, and their relationship was much better for it.” Well, maybe we ought to look at it through the lens of real relationships between friends? Once a healthy dynamic and boundaries are established, perhaps Moirails stabilize as long as they’re together.

That's a good way to interpret moirallegence - although, it does raise an issue with the quadrant that I'll be discussing on its own post, once I've finished the comp. There's no point in prehashing what I'm about to say, so I'll see you there!

Anonymous asked: karkats message didn't go through because of trollians narrative awareness feature, where it'll display something different in service of one of the several "all"-seeing entities, of which the reader is one <3 watsonian and doylist explanations are kissing with tongue

Since the fourth wall is an actual, physical piece of technology in this world, this isn't even that far-fetched!

@sashonya asked: So, as the session's timers continues to count down, what do you think will happen after The Scratch?

Beyond 'the session ends', it's difficult to say for sure. I think the two most likely possibilities are that the kids start exploring other sessions, or travel to a location completely outside the current scope of the comic. I am, of course, hoping for both.

@ericvilas asked: "I still believe that out of all the trolls, Karkat’s traits were featured the most prominently in humanity" yeah, I guess even humans aren't free from the effects of carcinization

CG: THERE IS ONLY ONE STEP. CG: AND IT IS ME.

[day-drawn-blog]

Part II : Slow burn ❤️‍🔥

Lace your heart with mine Let your sleeping soul take flight

I feel your breath on my neck, the soft caress as cold as death

Your blood like wine, I want it in, oh darling make me drink and make me feel

- I want to live

Tags: angst, fluff, sadness, angst, fluff, then maybe eventually smut because I do love that

Pairing: Astarion x Reader -- Set in Act I

Part I. Crowned light moon of mine - I found you too soon

Part II : Lace your heart with mine Let your sleeping soul take flight

Part III : Maybe tonight, I'll rest in peace

Part IV : There is much to do and I still want to live

Part V : Our futures bound, our bodies known

Part VI : These ain't my sins, I'm not to blame

Part VII: You are not mine and am I truly yours

Part VIII: your blood like wine invites me in

Part IX: I'll welcome my sentence and give you my penance

Part X : I can't go yet...don't let me die

---------

Next day, you woke up early and you remembered the rollercoaster your heart had been through. And your little secret. Ah, you almost forgot. So caught up were you in your pining you ignored the safety of those around you, and the resolve you had made last night to help and protect those around you. And right now, nothing posed more of a threat than a blood sucking vampire posing as an ally. You did not quite trust him yet. After all, you did not know him well at all.

You left your tent, resolved to confront him.

To settle this issue as best as you can on behalf of those innocent of his real identity. You spotted him next to his tent. His messy curls, even more disheveled in the morning. But his countenance brighter than yesterday. You wondered if it was the effect of the favor you did him. Somehow a part of you felt happy, that you made a difference to him.

You broached the subject.

"Can we talk?" He looked up surprised. "About your... condition. I was curious how we were going to feed you from now on."

His eyes widened.

I guess he did not realize you would confront him about this first thing in the morning. But it has to be done, sooner the better. Before everyone else wakes up. "How... how are you?" He managed, flustered. At least he has it in him to be polite and ask, you thought. You approved of his shallow charm. Now to the point.

"I am alright. But I am worried." "You have my word. I will never put any of us in harm's way. And if I ever do, I will ask, first" he flashed his cheeky grin. You almost gave in. And then suddenly, rustling behind him, startled you both.

Shadowheart walked out of his tent.

You were completely blindsided, Astarion was more embarassed and looked away.

Shadowheart was surprisingly, normal. "Good morning. Are you guys planning breakfast? I heard talks about a meal, or something... " she drawled in her usual charming manner.

"Ah yeah.. something like that.."

you managed to say, and decided to drop it. Before your heart shattered into pieces again, you decided, you walk away.

You wished you could leave them at camp.

So you didn't have to be distracted by those two as you navigated such dangerous lands. But, you all always travelled together and at least there will be other people, to distract you, from Shadowheart and Astarion's intimate moments together, where he held out his hands, to help her on a step. Or she cast her guidance and radiance to protect him, or where he took out a threat with his sneak attack before they ambushed her.

You felt weaker in combat that day.

Several times, Karlach had to protect you. You almost got knocked down, and she had to help you up. Thankfully Wyll had your back too. You felt terrible how much you let this matter get to you. Back at camp, exhausted, and down to your last breath, you decided to put him out of your head once and for all. You needed to wash up, and rest.

This was not serving you.

As you sat in your tent that night, going over the events of the day. You felt tears come up. You wanted to be the one being protected. Looked after..by him. To be important enough.

To be valued and loved, by him.

Dammit. Why should you put him on a pedestal like this. Better start thinking really hard how you could avoid that from happening again. This was your only way. Should you ask them to stay behind at camp the next day? No ..you need every ally you can get fighting for your life.

Suddenly, your thoughts were interrupted by approaching footsteps. You were confused, you thought everyone had gone to bed early that night, tired from all the ambush you had faced that day. So who was it? And why were they coming inside your tent?The tent flaps parted, and you saw a familiar tall silhouette.

You stopped breathing in surprise.

You both stared at each other for a few moments before he broke silence. "I am sorry to disturb your rest, the hour is late. Terribly, and truly" and it seemed like he was second guessing himself and walking back out again. Then he stopped and turned around "You see, this was my first.. I had never drank from a ...thinking creature before. Cazador... my master, would only ever let me feed on rats. "

Where was he going with this?

"Would you be so kind, as to grant me this favor one more time? I completely understand if you don't want to, and this is, well very embarrassing for me to admit" You could see his ears turn red as he shiftily looked anywhere but at you. "But ever since last night, I have not been able to forget... how you tasted". "I could do anything for one more time...please?" And he looked at you with his eyes full of endless misery, that familiar pleading voice and gaze...

You were weak against that but you were annoyed.

Who does he think he is. Does he think himself so charming that he can just waltz into your tent, demanding you donate your blood for free while he went back to Shadowheart right after? You did want to be the hero to those that needed you, but this is just taking advantage of you. You liked him a little less at that point. You were fully resolved to turn him down. After all, this felt wrong, not just to you, but to Shadowheart as well.

You got up.

"I am afraid, Astarion, I will have to turn you down tonight. Isn't Shadowheart waiting for you? What will she think of your absence?"

"She doesn't know. No one does. And I would like to not tell everyone, as long as I can, if you help me. You are the only one, who knows. And if everyone were to find out, I am afraid they would not show me the kindness you did. I would be cast aside. And left to fend for myself."

For all the outward intimacy between him and Shadowheart, you realized, they were not after all, close at heart. What did you expect. Did you expect him to be someone that would allow himself to fall in love with someone or genuinely love and care for someone other than himself? Your first impression of him, was right. The suave and snooth bad boy, with a thousand charms was after all, just that.

You sighed.

Battling with your moral dilemma. You wanted to cave, and earn his trust even more, and maybe a bit of affection. But was that really the right way to go about it. To exploit his weakness? You couldn't. You needed to save everyone. Even the ones that were too proud to admit they needed saving. You sighed again.

"Astarion, I would like to help you. However I cannot, be your only source of.. sustenance. This will affect me in battle. And I thought we agreed you would feed on our enemies, since they are as good as dead, as you said."

If he was disappointed he did not let it show.

"But of course. I only just wanted a little bit. You wouldn't even feel it. I promise. It will be a gift, that I will never forget" He looked at you with his intense gaze that sometimes betrayed the storm raging inside him you suspected. "I understand..." His countenance fell. He was pained. "Have a good sleep. I'll see you around in the morning" And he turned to leave.

"Wait"

Dammit. You cannot turn him down. Or anyone. When they genuinely seem to need your help. But did Astarion really need you? Or was he being greedy? Were you being deceived? Probably. Behind the facade of one who seeks your help is someone simply using you. You felt that. And yet, you were drawn to him, like a moth to a flame.

"Yes, you can...again, tonight. Only a little bit"

"Really? You would?" Genuine surprise in his voice. He quickly stepped in and drew the tent flaps shut. He took your hand and suddenly took the lead. Taking you to the back, gestured to you to sit. You sat down, he knelt in front of you, lifted your arm like last time, with both his hands, gave it a kiss, and looked at you one more time, as if to ask for your permission one last time, and when you nodded, proceeded to bear his fangs at which you looked away.

It didn't hurt, nor did it last longer than a few minutes. Afterwards he drew away, and sat down next to you, as if sated to his utmost. A grin across his face like last time. you looked at your wrist, and the two little dots where his fangs had pierced your skin. The ones from last night were fading. Tonight's red. He looked at you looking at your wrist. "Does it hurt?" He seemed...guilty.

"Let me wrap it"

He proceeded to tear a bit of linen from somewhere nearby and tie it around the bite marks. Hiding your doing, I see. This is no act of kindness. You felt your resolve melt. You felt glad to have been of use to him. But also sad, he was about to leave. And go back to shadowheart. You had served your role. He had used you, and no longer needed you.

Thank you ...you whispered to him

Part III : Maybe tonight, I'll rest in peace

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

Live Blog/My thoughts scene for scene ish for OFMD S2 Episodes 1-3

FULL SPOILERS FOR S2 EPS 1-3. Including a post credit scene for Episode 3 that includes a teaser for the episodes 4-5 and discussing scenes we haven't seen from the trailer.

My long form stuff usually gets seen by people outside of my circle so before this long post I want to preface with this-

Hi! Izzy is my favorite character. As of right now I have written just under 240k words about this guy and spent most of my time in this fandom in Izzy spaces. If that is a problem for you, this might not be the read.

But I got fed a 5 star meal and already see this season is a love letter to the fans and I am here to appreciate it. 

Please be warned. I personally think this season should have a warning on it for how it handles suicide, suicidal ideation, substance use and relationship abuse. I will be going in depth on this but handle it with respect as someone whose lived shit like this.

My first watch was without subtitles and on a big old tv screen. I I decided to miss a few things my first watch, choosing to turn off subtitles, and get surprised by dialogue and delivery(as I tend to read ahead). This watch is to confirm lines, appreciate delivery, and more. 

I have not read any meta, and this is blind before I see how all my mutuals freak out!!!!

Lines that fucked me up will be bolded. Just know I want to write an essay about them, and would given the chance. (sorry for spelling errors I watched this twice + stayed up for an extra 10 hours😅)

EPISODE 1:

I liked the recap, but I don’t think it’s enough for casual viewers who watched it maybe once ALSO. That Edit of Izzy’s ‘namby-pamby crying for his boyfriend’ IMMEDIATELY into the Toe Scene got a laugh out of me, because OWW. How had we not thought of that? 

I LOVE THE DREAM SCENE. Izzy beating him fair and square, but still losing. The stab in the killing side? THE MELODRAMA. The way this confirms Stede sees Izzy as a ‘big bad’ he needs to defeat to ‘win’ Ed. Him having the most 1 dimensional view of both him, Ed, and Izzy. A view how Stede is still an idiot unable to see nuance in people. Izzy smiling? The way he mutters his last words> God I love Con O’Neill. Let’s watch him maybe die 8 separate times and call it a season. 

It also got a good laugh out of me. Did I predict that that it was a dream when the teaser came out? Yeah. Still funny as shit.

‘Can’t be worse than you moaning Ed, Oh Ed’ FUNNY AS SHIT. 

I liked the ‘customer service’ montage. Swede, you deserve all the love you get. You are in good hands.  I think Stede’s part of this episode was just to lighten the rest of it. Hello to an antagonist of this season, and narrative foil to Stede, Prince Ricky.

I know it doesn’t matter who did Ed’s back tattoo, but the irony of Ed trusting someone enough to get it done is just funny. 

(Wedding Scene) I SQUEALED WHEN WE GOT THE RETURN OF ED’S EVIL THEME. Also, calling his crew the devils ‘kids’ is so fucking funny. HELLO CLASSIC ROCK IVE NEVER HEARD OF??? Welcome to the OFMD playlist. I love the montage of ‘Ed is working everyone to death’. Izzy got to threaten an English sailor. I know he’s happy with that. 

Yes. The wedding thing was absolutely over the line. RIP Ivan, you will be missed. I can’t wait for Frenchie to break down, and congrats to all the people who wrote Frenchie as emotionally distant, you’ve won! 

THE WAY IZZY SOUNDS SO TIRED ‘Yeah. They got cake.’ ALSO. Did I miss the knife throwing scene?? Was that just for the trailer? I think it was in a past edit and they removed it.

‘Can’t do the job? Someone else will’ (Ed to Izzy)- Izzy felt that he mattered to Ed. This one line reframes their entire relationship. This fucks Izzy up. I theorize as the main reason Izzy never did anything was because Ed was his captain. But they were still friends. Close. Trusted partners.  But Izzy is still expendable. Even after all this time. He is nothing. Maybe he knows Ed is doing this so he rebels, and kills him, but maybe he doesn't. Izzy cares about loyalty... we'll see.

Yes. The Izzy scene hurts. But after watching Ep 2, this is nothing. 

‘It is your job to-to follow my fucking orders’ (Izzy to crew) THIS IS NOT HOW I THOUGHT THIS LINE WOULD BE USED. Because he knows. He knows he’s fucked, and he’s struggling to accept the fact that he’s looking down the loaded barrel. He knows that he can’t make these people listen to him, not any more. He’s alone, and now the one thing he can do(be Ed’s first mate) is about to be stripped from him. Hell, it already is.

Spanish Jackie. I love you. I love you so much. Extort those fuckers. Semi clean water and education is a big deal! Also, this season overall is a HUGE win for my fellow Pete fans. Funny bastard. 

I have thoughts about Prince boy, but they can wait until he does something.

Stede’s flaw has always been his naivety, habit of judging once and never really questioning it, and his ego. Prince is able to take advantage of it. I don’t trust him. I think he’s a spy. I also like thinking Spanish Jackie is collecting husbands to certain tasks like it’s Pokémon. Need a bartender? Customer service husband. The books? Math husband. New Swedish husband? Masseuse.

HI IZZY ED SCENE ----

‘Because it’s fuckin’ treasure.’ Izzy. Izzy I fucking love you. God. The way he stiffens up. Knowing them not following orders means he will lose a toe. Fucking god. 

This to me confirms that Ed really wants to get Izzy to kill him in in ep 1. He will tear down every good memory they have just to get Izzy to give in. He doesn’t care about their past, he just wants to die. Izzy is a convenient violent punching bag because he can’t leave. He knows fully well that this crew doesn’t listen, and blames Izzy for a fact he can’t change. It’s fucked that he's shoving Izzy into this corner but he doesn't think there will be consequences. 

Honestly. I think Izzy knows his partner is at this edge, but he can’t do anything. This is why he gets the guts to talk back. Both here and later in front of the crew(more in a second).

The ‘you know me better than anyone has ever known me’ (Izzy to Ed) line kills me. Because it’s honest. For the rest of these episodes Izzy is so fucking honest It hurts. He can’t lie. Not to himself, not anymore. Not to Edward or the crews. He can't take advantage of any situation, or turn the tables. All he has is his words. He knows this, and yet here he is. Facing this abuse, and trying, because he wants to fix it. But he knows he’s not enough to snap Ed out. 

‘I have love for you’ (Izzy to Ed in cabin)Present tense…fucking hell. Izzy tries to pull Ed out by showing his soft center, and we can tell from Ed’s dismissive reaction that he already knows all this. But Ed isn’t talking. Izzy can’t read minds, he wants to help. I know he felt adrenaline spring through him after the confession, and with loose lips, he says just the wrong thing. HI MICROEXPRESSIONS ON CON. FUCKING AHH

‘Hang on Ed- Captain.’ (Izzy to Ed as Ed is marching out to the crew)OW. OUCH. OOF??? IZZY PANICING???? Trying to stop this???

The look on Izzy’s face when Ed holds the gun to himself is not shocked. Hurt, and he immediately closes himself off, like he genuinely thinks Ed would do it.  That’s what hurts. Also, I don’t know if hes doing a high pitch voice to imitate Izzy, but that’s my view of it. 

‘PACK IT IN' (Screamed by Izzy to Ed) THATS MY MAN!!! Stand up to Ed being shitty! GOD. Frenchie’s little head shake. Trying to warn Izzy, to tell him no :((((. But Izzy doesn’t care. He knows he’s not got too long left, so he might as well chew Ed out, to say the things everyone is thinking but are too scared to say. God, the way Ed teases the answer in front of everyone. -Say his name and I will shoot- sitting right there in his eyes, and Izzy GRINS and he says ‘Stede fuckin’ Bonnet’ and that is finally enough of an excuse for Ed to shoot. 

Look at the way Ed nods his head as Izzy says it, not even letting Izzy finish before saying it. He's done. All the other performative versions of violence, of being Blackbeard he does, I see a reason to say 'he's doing this as self hurt' but Idk. It feels like he wanted to, and now he can. So he does. The way everyone reacts hurts me. The way Ed steps over him, the way Ed pushes Frenchie into Izzy’s job. 

I know many fans, and myself before the show aired, thought the leg shooting would be too much. In all honesty. This is how I’d want it written. This entire episode has showcased Edward’s grown resentment to his friend mixed with self destructive impulses. Some might view this as being too much, but given episode 2, this is such a big fucking moment I can’t even comprehend it right now. 

Do I think Izzy’s love confession pushed Ed to this panic- ESPECIALLY after his last confession ended in Stede running away? Maybe. But I think Ed was mentally in a place where he couldn’t react with anything BUT dread. Thus making the Stede call back even worse. But I don’t know. 

That’s one end of the spectrum of how this scene can be interpreted (Ed shooting Izzy’s leg felt unjustified/uncalled for at this point in the story) now lets turn it around (The ‘Izzy deserved it’ fuck heads)

Lets be 100% clear here. 

I view Izzy turning the crew to the English was a catylist, BUT not a cause for them getting captured. Stede was wanted for murder, and would have gotten caught eventually. Hell, the fact Blackbeard was on the ship in S1 was a lucky guess that Chauncy was happy to take advantage of, that IZZY HAD TO SIGN THE ACT OF GRACE to get Ed out of.  

Can Ed hold Izzy responsible instead of taking accountability for his own actions? Yes. This episode shows that’s basically how he sees it. But we as fans are basically shown 5 different ways to view Izzy as sympathetic here. 

Now: Moving back into the episode (after 500 words of that…damn)--------------

Ricky is so dumb…. I don’t know if I love it or not.

I love ‘Susan’ (Zheng Yi Sao) but have some thoughts. I enjoy her, the way she holds herself like Ed did in episode 3, drawing that parallel. That and her Izzy narrative mirror of a first mate. Also, I hope the Swede and Spanish Jackie have a lovely season. I love them so much. 

(Yes! I got to inform the family of the history of the Queen of Pirates. I love what I do. )

One of my favorite crew scenes: Jim and Fang failing to correctly remember the story. I LOVE IT. I agree Archie, Jim trying to help Fang feel better is so fucking GOOD. Mixing the legend of the Monkey’s paw and Pinochio while cleaning up Izzy’s blood is so fucking…much. 

Hi another song I have never heard of??? (The whistle one, you will be going to the Ed Izzy divorce playlist)

Ed is pulling a Stede. Running away from every problem forgetting they dont exist. The second something tries to change he snaps. It hurts looking at Frenchie clearly trying to balance his family and Edward’s lack of empathy. I fucking love this episode, and think it’s up there for my favorites. This is a trend that will continue. 

EPISODE TWO:

Maybe my favorite piece of writing in ages. Can I just say they are Fucking WILD to call the Izzy/Ed episode ‘Red Flags’????? BECAUSE DEAR GOD

I watched the recap. It’s like, 3 scenes of stede, with Izzy geting shot and the final scene of Zheng Yi Sao. 

Classical song in opening: Etude No. 1, Op, 25. Going into the writing playlist. 

Buttons sleeping with his feet up, maybe to be close to the sea?

Now. I am going to use this moment to discuss a large criticism I have. The cutaways to scenes from S1. Now, do they feel fast, and awkward, yes. Should the writers trust their audience to tie the call back together? Yes. But for a casual audience I think these scenes are VERY necessary if you haven’t watched the show. I think they should be taken out, but I get why they’re there. 

‘Run From Me’ by Timber timbre THIS IS A FUCKING ED/IZZY SONG IN THE SHOW?!?!??!. WE DID IT. WE GOT 1! I don’t see any way how you could tie this is Ed/Stede. A song about the fear of hurting others and needing to always push people away. After last episode??? I fucking… I teared up on rewatch, because FUCK. It’s a scene with Ed playing with the dolls, but Izzy’s presence is right THERE. 

OMG OMG OMG- A PIRATE SHIP IS USING THE BELLS SYSTEM TO KEEP TRACK OF SHIFTS????? (Kind of? Not really? She just rang a bell. But just give me this).

Wee john & Buttons, I love you. ‘YES QUEEN!’ I CACKLED! I love the mispronouncing ‘China’ gag. 

‘I decided to take a chance on you…because’ Because they’re allies. Stede taking ‘soft’ as a compliment gives me life. 

LUCIUS!!!!! I FUCKING LOVE THEM!!! THE ‘OH MY GOD’ CALLBACK!!! THE HAPPY CREW SONG RETURNING?? 

I love that Stede is immediately like-*the vibes are off. What happened to my boy.* as soon as he sees him

Can I also say, I love that when we transition over to the Revenge, we see it from the front, sailing into frame. It’s such a good shot. 

I love that Ed is obviously in a manic period, FUCK. WHAT IF HE WAS CRYING OVER KILLING IZZY??? He wouldn't…but other than that, I can’t see specifically what he was crying about. 

‘No more booze, no more drugs, and more importantly, no more Izzy’ WHEN I TELL YOU I GASPED WHEN IT WAS REVEALED IZZY WAS KILLED THE FIRST TIME. God. Not by Ed, because Ed would never, but by FRENCHIE. No wonder they had to edit ‘Stede’ over that in the trailer… 

‘The new first mate always kills the old first mate’ - Okay, this bugs me. It’s not that the first mate is killed because ‘it’s law’. First mates were usually picked by their captain, but the Captain was democratically chosen. The first mate is loyal to the captain, as that is their job. The reason the first mate was killed when replaced was because the new Captain feared the old first mate could start a mutiny, and use the friendships built against a new person in power-

OH SHIT. DOES THIS MEANS ED KNEW IZZY WOULD MUTINY???? SO HE ORDERED FRENCHIE TO KILL HIM??

HOLY FUCK! :0

EDWARD YOU CONNIVING LITTLE BASTARD!!!!!

Hi secret passage :) To all the authors who also wrote them as tiny little hallways in the walls, rip. How did no one notice an extra room.

IZZY!!!! MY BOI

God, Izzy just knowing he’s fucked, and wanting to die now before Ed finds out is so fucking GOOD. ‘We just had him asleep’ JIM he’s a 50 year old man fading in and out of sleep due to an infection, not a toddler. I love that Izzy is just…so done. He didn’t expect the crew to help him out 🙁

HELLO OTHER SCENE IN THIS EPISODE I DIDN’T EXPECT TO LOVE-

God. I think my problem with Lucius in fanon was that he was always treated like he was above it all. The therapist. The loving partner. The jokester. But he has actual depth and Nathan is a brillian actor.

Hi Buttons being a sea god. I love that I wrote him as being creature adjacent ages ago. Bro can read Chinese AND got a fun magical ability. I can’t wait for that to pay off. 

THE OTHER SCENE I HAVE FEELINGS ABOUT. Pissed off Ed being so fucking cheery when confronting Frenchy is so unnerving. Ed isn’t dumb. He knows. He knows the moment he caught Frenchie with that box that he was helping keep Izzy alive but he needed it confirmed. Which Frenchie did. 

(This is the point where my bro woke up so I rewatched everything with him)

Dear god. CAN WE CLEAN IZZY? Bandage that leg? ANYTHING?

‘But he’s out dick’ (Jim to Archie about Izzy and why they want to keep him alive) FUCK YEAHHHH!!! I love it, but can we not do this in front of a passed out Izzy?

Oh, the way my gut dropped the first time I saw Ed on the stairway of the secret room. Keep that man away from him.

GOD THE WAY I FUCKING GROANED WHEN OLU MOVED THE SHIPS ON THAT MAP. I am so happy the show is portraying how a flagship of a fleet works!!!

Lucius smocking to relieve stress and sooth his anxiety. All that to not think about what's happened. THAT and Pete being the ‘softer’ partner, gives me life. 

Izzy/Ed scene in the hidden room.

HI IZZY! ‘Up in leg heaven’(Ed to Izzy) Does this line read like bad fic? Yes. Good think I write fic and think it's fucking hilarious.

I fucking CHERISH this scene- 

‘I dreamt you killed me.’ ‘good for you’ (Ed to Izzy, Izzy to Ed)I FUCKING LOVE YOU IZZY- you are so tired of Ed's shit. I would put the entirety of this scene and every micro expression from Izzy if I could. ALSO ‘Eddie????’’ WHY- FUCKING- THAT WAS A FANFIC LINE AND IT'S MAKING ME SAD :0.

We are so getting a flashback next episode, aren't we? Even if we don't I'm so satisfied seeing the past closeness hinted at in these 3 episodes.

‘Clean up your own mess I’ve been doing it my whole life.’ I fucking LOVE HIM!! Even when he's suffering through an infection he won't let Ed walk all over him. Then Ed gives him his gun. LITERALLY TELLING IZZY TO STILL CLEAN UP THE MESS. 

‘I loved you…best I could.’ OH FUCK> OH FUCK!!!!! How did I MISS THAT ON MY FIRST RUN? IZZY/ED CONFIRMED???? THE FUCK???? ED ADMITS THAT HE FUCKING LOVED HIM!!! FUCKING KILL ME. ALSO PAST TENSE! That better be because he thinks Izzy is dead and not that he doesn't love him anymore :((( 

I loved Stede mentoring Lucius in talking btw. 

‘Save the rest for Pete’ (Stede to Lucius) Aw. Stede can’t be the therapist. I also love that Pete got freaked out. It makes me happy. 

I love this whole pre-storm scene. The way we can see Ed adjusting the canon into the mast to blow it down. The general storm vibes. The tension. The way it reads like the fuckery scene in ep 4 with the storm. Ed being steps ahead. But instead of Ed doing something clever he's doing something self destructive.

‘Run From Me’ start playing in the background up again when Lucius' line about being broken and learning to cope. LEADING RIGHT INTO THE STORM SCENE- AHHHH.

The way JIM STOPS ARCHIE FROM FIGHTING. Literally replicating their arc from S1.

THE WAY IZZY SHOOTS ED TO PROTECT THE CREW FROM ED LITGHTING THE CANON WICK. THE FUCKING PAN UP REVEALING IZZY IS ALIVE AND *EMPTY*

‘YOU INDESTRUCTIBLE LITTLE FUCKER’ (Ed to Izzy) THESE TWO I SWEAR TO CHRIST!

GET ‘EM FANG! PROTECT IZZY

God I fucking love this episode. So fucking much. The fact Ed/Izzy divorce has multiple suicide attempts built in makes me feel things. I wouldn’t expect anything else. 

==============================================

EPISODE 3

‘I know, it’s been a day!’ (Zheng Yi Sao to Shadow guy)

I love the scene of her bargaining with the guy and think Zheng Yi Sao is going to build a pirate army to take over the Republic. She’s already taken over China. This is just for pride.

GOD I love the scene of Stede going through the ship. Mainly because it lets us see the hallway, and tells me more of the Ship's anatomy but that's not the point. 

I don't know how the Crew survived the storm, but DAMN. I'm so proud of all of them working together. We were all right to write fic like that.

Izzy just casually being devalued by Stede and how he just IMMEDIATELY looks to Frenchie. OW. FUCKING OW. Also the way Izzy said 'Bonnet' at the start of this scene makes me so happy. 

I ZONED OUT A BIT- FORGOT TO WRITE

Now we’re at the scene of Stede cleaning up the knives. Leading into Izzy and Stede bitching. I love this scene mirroring the one where Izzy tells Stede to ‘plumb the depths’. Because it’s a moment where Izzy tries to be honest to Stede, but it doesn’t work. I FUCKING LOVE THIS SCENE SO MUCH. Izzy holding his tongue just a bit trying to warn Stede. A person he is actively jealous of. Hell, he even takes accountability for his actions. He even tells Izzy a half truth that they didn’t kill Ed. 

IZZY IS FUCKING TRYING. BUT STEDE IS TOO STUBORN!!!! Why does Izzy always need to be the voice of reason, it’s bad for him :( He needs someone to treat him seriously. 

I love that Hornigold has all of Ed’s mannerisms from the start. That and all of Hornigolds memories are what Ed remembers about the things he hated about the man (the crab thing)

Is it sad that Ed is excited to live a normal life, but his gut(Hornigold) tells him not to be so naïve? Yeah. But I’m mad at him, so give me a day. 

I love Izzy in the jail scene. ALSO WHY IS FRENCHY LEANING THAT CLOSE TO IZZY-HELLO?? Izzy crying, closing his eyes. Not able to keep Ed safe because he still tried SO HARD to keep his body semi stable. They think he’s probably dead, and Izzy still keeps his corpse safe. EVEN AFTER ANYTHING. HE STILL LOVES HIM! :D D:

This is where the Pirate Queen isn’t fun anymore for me. I liked her, but then she threatened Olu if he said no?? I don’t like it! Especially as it seems Olu didn't get the hint.

The escape overall is very fucking sweet. Especially Izzy shushing people. I makes me happy :)- Also Buttons being a good first mate and giving orders as soon as they touch deck.  

I’M SORRY- IZZY THNAKING STEDE I saw it the first time, and freaked out, but the second?? DEAR GOD! I fucking love him. Give this man a hug. 

Also! I think the Mermaid scene is my 'Ohh Daddy' from S1. It’s a bit.. .much, I like the metaphor a lot. Eh. I don't know. I think they should have blured out Stede's face a bit with water. Reveal it's REALLY Stede when he gets closer. Hide the budget a but more or do a far away shot vs up close. Pretty but just a bit off.

ALSO: IF YOU HAVEN’T WATCHED THE Ep 3 POST CREDIT SCENE DO-AS I’M SPOILING IT. As a person who is writing a ‘cured object’ thing for this fandom… watch this undo like, 40k of my own words. Please let Izzy be a bit of a skeptic but he generally follows the vibes cause ‘legends’ ALSO murder lesbians!! ALSO IZZY/STEDE woops, sorry, IZZY & STEDE FRIENDSHIP ARC!!!

SO FINAL THOUGHTS: 

Things I didn’t like:

Dislike how we glosses over the discussion of a poly/open relationship for Oluwande and Jim. They both thought eachother were dead, so it doesn’t give me the ick as I bet some will. But the way Jim joked about it still felt wrong.

Glossing over Lucius’ trauma a bit with the puppet joke. I found it a bit in poor taste. 

The fact Izzy is on the episode ‘cover’ for episode 3 on Max, revealing he didn’t kill himself in ep2. I forgot about it midway in, but remembered it on rewatch. Like? IDK

The lack of content warnings, I get it, but damn the suicidal ideation stuff +mania episode+ abuse hit hard. 

It went by a bit quick, but they wrote themselves in a corner. The slow building dread of Ed being a dick, vs Stede just working at Jackie's to get money. So they started when everything was falling apart. AND they need to get The Queen and the Prince established. Judging by the next few episodes, hopefully it will slow down. I prefer this to skipping those things, obviously. But I was much more interested in Ed’s side of the story than Stede's.

Things I do like/Standouts:

Hi Con O’Neill. Can you start paying rent the way you live in my head? Seriously, every scene Izzy is in he steals it. I assume people are a bit peeved that Izzy is getting more attention than Olu&Frenchie&Jim & whatever other character a person likes. But I really think they sewed it in well. Seriously, it’s heartbreaking, and everything I could have asked for. I Love Every Delivery. I see these episodes as enough to turn people slightly sympathetic if they were haters of Izzy before.

ALSO: IZZY SAVING THE CREW. Putting himself in danger FIRST so he doesn't hurt anyone? Jim immediately seeing this and trusting him in the future. I can’t wait to see friendship bloom between him and the crew. That and Izzy's own self destructive habits get broken down as he learns to respect himself outside of hierarchy and Ed. Yes, even like this I want to fuck that man.

Stede- I enjoy that he seems more comfortable with the crew. Especially Pete and Buttons. I don’t have much to say, but I hope this new Izzy training episode means he’ll learn to trust Izzy. Not too much to say, but that's a good thing! Here soon instead of Ed being the focus of the 'deal with this' stick it will go to Stede 'I'm the captain :(' Bonnet

BUTTONS OH MY GOD- My favorite head canon became canon babes!!! I love it. I’m here for it. He's having a lovely time.

ALSO FRENCHIE!!! Hi babes! I missed you being a clever badass! I'm happy Ed didn't stab you.

Them taking Ed’s issues seriously. We got hints of addiction/abusive behavior last season, but they took that and ran with it. Add that to self destrictive behavior that scales up with every scene. Plus the one line from Lucius about how some people can’t be fixed…good stuff, I like how we're handling mental health. I’m not happy with him, but we have time. Taika clearly had fun. I also see myself in his mania and self-sabotaging behavior (non violent, but still wish washy moods for my part)

That and Izzy/Ed being what it is… I believe that Ed genuinely loves Izzy the only way he can, but it’s not enough. He can’t love Izzy the way he needs. Ed needs to apologize, obviously. I won’t be able to forgive him ‘till then. I don’t think Izzy should until he’s able to pull away from him a bit. 

Let's just say I can't wait till next week when we get lesbians and one of my favorite tropes.

(@ing mutuals I know have seen it that I would love to yell with @gydima @born-on-a-beach-teach @treesofgreen BUT do feel free to shout down below!!!)

[voidselfshipp]

Late night coffee talks

Cw:ask to tag. Herc being a boomer and not beliving in self care/lh. Mentions of anxiety but thats about it.

Summary: late night coffee talks with jerico leave tendo confronting his own issues.

A/n: this GIF goes so well. AND THATS TENDO TOO! goes so well lmao.

->Only mutuals allowed to reblog.

♡Lovely Taglist: @tex-treasures @malewifepatrickbateman @mercuryships

--Do you want some coffee?-- Tendo asked to Jerico, who was half asleep on his desk.

--Cant. Anxiety -- she replied

--Right. Tea, then?

She nodded and he got to work on brewing some tea for her-- you know you dont gotta stay here late, you can go to bed

--And let you all alone in here? No thanks-- jeri replied, relaxing into his Office chair.

--Hows herc handling the whole Marshall thing?-He asked, serving some hot water on a Cup.

--Well, hes glad its only momentaraley-- she replied-- but hes not handling it as well as he makes it look

--Stress?

--Yup-- jerico confirmed-- im doing the best I can with organizing stuff for him, hes a soldier through and through so without schedules...

--He falls appart-- tendo finished-- here, sweetheart

She took the warm Cup of tea and said-- exactly,and thank you

--No problem, so, 'bout those schedules?

--Ah, nothing outta the ordinary, bedtimes, meal breaks, work hours, the works

--I bet hes really gratefull-- the Man said grabbing her free hand.

--ive also given him a forty minute break to check in with himself yknow? Stretch, do breathing and grounding excercises

--He hates it, doesnt he?

--Yeah-- both chuckle-- he says hes "perfectly fine" and that "he doesnt need to do that self care thing" Because hes going to "get through it like a man", but I have seen him do them

--well hes an older generation-- he agreed-- no wonder he thinks like that

--Bravery, testosterone and aussie unhingedness, thats Hercules Hansen for ya

Tendo lets out a prolongued snort while hes drinking his coffee making him almost choke-- honestly, thats him alright, but hes a good guy

--Yeah he is, hes a very good guy, hes just emotionally constipated, arent we all though?

Both share a laugh in agreement, Tendo caresses the back of jeri's hand with his thumb-- hows ol' Chuck doing?

--Hes still going to his check ups,luckily hes raditation free and though he pouts like a child he doesnt miss any of his therapy sessions or medical appointments

--i said it once and ill say it again, itll always baffle me how you managed to not only make the hansens get along, but finally learn some emotionall inteligence

--hey Man,Takes one to know one-- she added-- I went down that same road, with some differences of course

--Between you and me? I think they are just very soft for you, but im glad those two are gettin' some help -- he said taking a sip from his coffee.

-- tell me about it, how they survived up to this Point is a mystery for the ages

He snickered-- nature finds a way!-- jerico laughed at the Jurassic Park reference, squeezing his hand.

--And what about you? How are you feeling?

Tendo snorts into his coffee, being taken off guard-- I uhm...not the most stressed ive been but stressed...

--Maybe you should indulge in some self care?

He looked away nervously-- ah its karma isnt it? I make fun of Herc and now im in the same spot as he is...-- tendo sighs-- its just--

--I have a lot of work to do and its very important-- both say at the same time.

--What?! -- he exclaims.

--Heard it from herc time and time again -- jerico explained sitting on the Mans lap, hands caressing his face-- you havent been taking care of yourself huh?

--airing out all of my dirty rags huh?

She giggled and said-- take some deep breaths for me, okay? Close your eyes

He obliged and started to breathe in deeply, focusing on the feeling of her hands smoothing over his face to his neck.

Tendo lets out a soft exhale and relaxes his body-- better?

--Yeah. thanks, Doll

--whenever you need me, finish this and we can go to bed

Jerico ended falling asleep against him, and he carried her to his bedroom. Maybe he could sleep some more before returning to work.

[mymindisacage]

A DAISY PUSHER — CHAPTER TWO

The Painting at the End of the Stairs

Word Count: 5,964

description: sylvia goes away for the week.

a/n: hey guys please tell me if theres inconsistencies in my writing. usually theres a literal month or two between when i write each chapter because i forget my book exists and im worried i forget things ive solidified in canon... please do enjoy this because i keep forgetting abt this even though its my lifes work...........

“—And I told her that she can suck my big fat balls.” Anastasia chuckled.

“You don’t have balls, Anastasia,” I responded.

“The point still stands, you weirdo.”

“Yeah, stop being a big fat party pooper, Syl’,” Emily told me.

I picked up my lunch. I had a homemade ham and cheese sandwich, pineapple chunks, and a bag of salted almonds. Zorion always tried to convince me that the school lunch was the best thing on the planet, but I never believed him. During freshman year, I got food poisoning from the school’s food. I don’t remember what it was, but it was gross.

“Sylvia,” Klara started, chewing and covering her mouth. “Did anything cool happen in class today?”

“Um…” I mumbled.

“While we’re young, Sylvia.” Anastasia groaned.

“Sorry. Some girls looked at me like I stabbed their mother when I walked into the bathroom. They were doing their makeup or something, I don’t remember.”

“Wow, I hate chicks like that.” Emily nodded.

“Thank god I use the dude’s restroom.” Zorion groaned. “They just fingerboard on my stall and turn all the lights off.”

“Whoa. They do what?” I gaped.

“They… fingerboard and turn all the lights off?”

“Yeah, why?”

“They’re crazy.”

“God, dudes are scary—”

“Oh, that’s not even it!”

“Here we go again…”

“I remember in eighth grade, some kids would run full-force at the door. The locks rarely ever worked, so a lot of the time they’d just burst in while I was trying to take a shit. Now, because I’m trans, they were probably just attacking me because they recognized me by my shoes. Middle school dudes are a million times worse than high school dudes because they have so many of the worst aspects one could have. Audacity.”

“At least dudes let you know they hate you.” Anastasia groaned, talking while chewing. “Chicks just stare at you and giggle.”

“Anastasia, I hope you get jumped today.”

“Oh, fuck you.”

I looked over at everyone else’s plates as they talked. They were nearly finished with their lunches, and I was barely starting. I took nibbles at my sandwich, but I wasn’t particularly thrilled to eat it. I took the fork out of my lunchbox and began eating my pineapple chunks, but I still wouldn’t eat them. I just sat and played with them.

I ended up eating my bag of almonds. I never got hungry during school. I had a small stomach and quickly digested food, so I wasn’t very suited for meals. I snacked through the day. People would say it wasn’t healthy for me, but I tried to mix in fruits and nuts and lunch meat during the day. I would always eat what people deemed sides at meals because the main dishes were harsh on my stomach. I always felt rude.

I zipped my sandwich back into its bag and closed the plastic container my pineapple was in, zipping it into my lunchbox. I kept my almonds out and munched on them as the chatter filled my ears and I sat, listening.

“My brother got a girlfriend.” Emily groaned.

“Woah, woah,” Anastasia gaped. “You have a brother?”

“Anastasia. You have been friends with me since you were in elementary school. Tell me you know my goddamn brother.”

“Dude,” Klara cackled, banging on the table. “You didn’t know about her brother?”

“No?” Anastasia responded, shock filling her face. “Who the hell is he?”

“He’s probably in your classes. He’s that ginger Freshman.” Emily told her.

Emily sat up from her place in her seat and looked around the cafeteria so she could search for her brother. She sat down and began speaking again.

“Okay, Anastasia,” Klara said, turning around and pointing. “Look for a tall, skinny, ginger kid over yonder.”

“Um…” Anastasia mumbled. “Holy shit, Andrew’s your brother?”

“What, you know him?” 

“Yeah, my girl Savannah is dating him.”

“Oh, my god. Small world, I guess.”

“We live in the middle of nowhere. It is a small world.”

I checked my watch. It read twelve thirteen, which was two minutes before lunch ended. I began putting my things away and into my bag, and everyone at the table followed. I wouldn’t tell them, but I loved eating with them. I loved sitting with them and learning about how Anastasia didn’t know Emily’s brother until now. I was grateful to have friendship, no matter how little I showed it to others.

“Guys, I’m going to my class,” I began. “I’ll see you later.”

I began walking, but Zorion followed.

“Don’t forget, you have little ol’ me in your fifth period!” He beamed.

“Thanks, Zorion,” I mumbled. “You ruined math class for me.”

I walked to class as he rambled on about things I didn’t care enough about to take an interest in on my own, but he was my brother. I cared about what he liked, so I let him ramble.

“So me and Klara—” He started.

“Klara and I, Zorion.” I corrected him.

“Klara and I were hanging out yesterday, remember? We went to McDonald’s or Wendy’s or something…”

“You went to Subway, Zorion.”

“Same thing!”

“Those aren’t remotely similar.”

“They sell sandwiches. We were at Subway and I was eating my footlong, and we were talking about something I don’t remember, but the funniest song came on over the speakers while I was talking, so we just stared at each other for a few seconds before I started laughing. Then, I started choking on my sandwich.”

“Ah. That was so interesting, thank you for that.”

“Dude, you’re so mean to me sometimes, you—”

He ran into the door trying to turn into it. It swung in his face because it didn’t have a stopper.

“Ow! Fuck, that hurt!” He whimpered, holding his head in his hands.

“Language, Zorion.” I reminded him, hitting his arm.

“Oh, bite me.”

We walked to our table, where we sat next to each other. He sat to my left. I unpacked the contents of my backpack needed for math class. My graph paper notebook, pencil case, and laptop. Zorion seemed neglectful of what he had to do in that class and was doodling on his hand with a dry-erase marker. The teacher started attendance and Zorion continued doodling with his chin against the table. It was astonishing how he could sit like that all day. Though he did have horrible back pain he made a point of complaining about it, so it’s not like he’s free of ailments.

“Sylvia? Sylvia Becker?” The teacher called.

“Oh, I’m here,” I replied, shooting my hand up.

“Okay. Zoe Becker?”

“I’m here,” Zorion mumbled, putting his head down on the table.

I looked at him. He congested his posture and moved his hands to the top of his head, clutching his hair lightly and letting his cheek rest on the cold table. I put my hand on his back and patted him gently. I tried to be comforting.

“It’s— I’m sorry,” I mumbled.

I wanted to say “It’s okay”, but it wasn’t okay. He had told the teacher many times about his name since the first day of school, even emailing his teachers in advance. He tried so hard just for that to happen. It wasn’t okay.

“No, it’s not your fault,” He mumbled. “Don’t be sorry, Syl’.”

“Oh, sorry.”

I did it again. I would always apologize to people. I would apologize to the point where sorry wasn’t a word I meant anything through anymore. He sat up and began rummaging through his backpack for something. He pulled his sketchbook out and began doodling when the teacher began her lesson. I watched Zorion doodle for quite some time as the teacher gave us notes to take. He poured his feelings into art, I knew he did.

I never had anything to pour my feelings into. I had music, but I couldn’t write music if my life depended on it. I often tried to explain my feelings through instrumental songs, ones where the guitars told the story. Or I had songs where the lyrics were there for the ambiance.

We were told to pull our computers out, and I followed through. Zorion did too, but he was way more off-task than I was. He just sat and played MineSweeper or other games, while I tried to do my work.

Maybe I poured my feelings into my work. I would often find myself doing my homework, a habit many wished for. I would put everything I had into my work because it was all I had. In band, I tried so hard to be the best trumpet player in the band. I dreamt of going into drum corps, but those programs exceeded four thousand dollars.

I looked again at Zorion to see him asleep on his desk. His head was in between the nook of his arms and the back of his pink head of hair faced me. I could hear him breathing, but I could hear everybody breathing. I decided to leave him alone.

Students began to pack up their belongings as the clock ticked ever closer to the end of fifth period, so I nudged Zorion on his shoulder and he shot up, mumbling about something he was dreaming about. He packed up his things quickly and stood by the door, waiting as if nothing had happened. I rushed to meet with him and he was swaying on his feet.

“That’s so embarrassing!” He groaned.

“You just fell asleep,” I muttered. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

“Yes, it is!”

“No, it’s not.”

“Whatever.”

“Anyways—” He said, getting cut off by the bell as students began filing out. “—See you at home.”

“Bye, Zorion,” I responded.

I had one more class to get through. American Sign Language II. If I could just get through sixth period, I would be free to go home. I didn’t have a seventh period class, I made it so I wouldn’t. I took four core classes and two electives, but Marching Band gave me credit for P.E., so I didn’t take it. However, during concert season, I had zero period, so a free seventh period didn’t really shorten my school day, it just kept them at their usual time.

I sat at my desk and listened to the teacher bore on to those who would listen, while occasionally reminding the class that she was the one in charge. Next to me were people whispering to each other in an attempt not to get caught by the teacher, but we all knew it was them filling the classroom with noise. It was always so painfully obvious who was talking that whispering was just for fun at that point.

Eventually, the class began to pack up and I finally got the chance to be alone. Emily had a free period the year before, but her ambitions were not fit for a seven-period schedule, so she took the extra class: Psychology. I’d wanted to take it, but the class was limited to Juniors and Seniors.

I pulled my headphones over my head as I left campus, walking at what I deemed a “leisurely pace”. I made my way through campus and left the doors of the school and began enjoying the scenery of the outside world. Despite what everyone else thought, I could hear through my headphones, and I heard my name through muffled conversation.

“Dude… Sylvia’s right there!” I caught through the muffled noise of my headphones, prompting me to turn the song off and walk slowly so I could hear them.

“Shut up, she can’t hear us,” The second voice said. “She has her headphones on.”

I turned my head around to see Zorion and Anastasia, who appeared to be walking somewhere I wasn’t going. We made brief eye contact before Anastasia and Zorion attempted to run off, but Anastasia fell flat on her face in the wet grass.

“God dammit!” She yelped, shooting up and clutching her skirt in her hands. “Is my hair okay?”

“Is it ever okay?” Zorion laughed.

“Shut up, Zorion,” She spat, turning to me. “If you say anything to Ma, you’re dead.”

“You guys do know I don’t care if you ditch, right?” I interjected, staring at Anastasia.

“Oh. C’mon Zorion, let’s go.”

“Ope, bye, Sylvia!” Zorion grinned, running off.

They always saw me as this rule-abiding saint, when that wasn’t who I was. I wasn’t the kid to remind you of the syllabus or the student handbook, I would just mind my own business; It’s what worked best for me. To stay as inconspicuous as possible and go unnoticed was often the ‘goal’ of the social aspect of school, as I never liked people having opinions about me.

Of course, school was more than that to me, I loved many aspects of school. I loved band, I loved math, and I loved things that made sense to me. I loved performing. When I said that, nobody would understand, but I loved performing. I lived for performance. Since Freshman year, I have found an unusual fondness for field shows. I loved field show and the nature of tournaments.

As I walked down residential roads, the trees narrowed in closer to the street, the leaves covering the hot September sun. Though, at the end of this street, there was a blinking stop sign. It ruined the general look of the street, but what did I care?

Cars revved by me and I passed other students, students I recognized and could tell you nothing about. Parents parked on this street, so I passed many students sitting on the curb in front of houses, or maybe standing on the sidewalk. I walked home, I loved walking. Marching band combined with my love to walk gave me chiseled, masculine calves. I wasn’t fond of it.

Soon enough, I pushed my way onto my street and entered through the back to see someone I didn’t expect to see so early. My mother.

“Mom?” I mumbled, wondering why she was home so early. Worrying why she was home so early. “What happened, are you okay?”

I set my things down as she began to talk, her accent thin from her time in the Midwest. While it had been spread out over time, her dull tone still revealed her Russian heritage when she said certain words.

“Nothing, Sylvia, it is nothing.” She said, shooing me away. “We’ll talk later, I am on the phone.”

“Oh. Okay.” I muttered, picking my things off the floor.

Ma began shuffling papers together, and I noticed a picture frame on the table before it quickly joined her pile. I looked around and a frame from above the television was missing. I couldn’t quite put my finger on what the picture was, thinking for a few seconds to no avail. I turned to the stairs and for the first time noticed the painting. It was a grayscale image of a living room with a colored, glowing bassinet in the middle. In the bottom right was a signature, the signature of my mother.

I walked up to my room, ignoring the painting as it took a permanent space in my subconscious. I changed into flowier clothes that allowed me to lounge better, consisting of no shirt, a sweater, and no pants. I lay on my bed and quickly escaped into unconsciousness. The bed, blanket, and pillow wrapped around me as my body consumed my conscious mind in its effort to recharge.

To no surprise, I was awoken too soon by Zorion calling my name. I checked my clock and it was four o'clock. I grumbled, itching my eyes, and Zorion called my name and ordered me to come downstairs. I, somewhat begrudgingly, left my bed and grabbed a skirt from my dresser. As I ran down the stairs, I pulled it over my legs and fastened the zipper. I glanced at the painting again. It had gained a residence in my mind until I talked about it. I stood next to the stairs and Zorion, Anastasia, and Ma were sitting on the couch.

“Dude, finally, Ma said she wanted to tell us something,” Zorion groaned, putting his phone down. “Sylvia, this is an intervention!”

“No it’s not, Zorion, please be serious,” Ma scolded with her hands in her lap. “Sit down, Sylvia.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” I said, finger-combing my hair and sitting down on the couch.

She cleared her throat and began talking. “I know you all noticed I am home quite early, and I have called you here to tell you that you are going to need to take the next few days off of school. I am traveling abroad to take care of family business, simply formalities. You three will be staying with your uncle.” 

Groans emerged from Zorion and Anastasia, while I remained unphased.

“Uncle Nick, Ma?” Zorion whined, clutching his face and throwing his head off of the arm of the loveseat he was lying on.

“Yes, and you need to stop complaining or I will make your stay much worse. I have emailed your teachers and they said that you can do your work online and that any tests will be made up next week because I know you three would not do it if I did not.”

I got the point. We would go to Uncle Nick’s for four days, not including Tuesday night and Sunday morning. Zorion and Anastasia complained as Ma rattled on about how she hadn’t seen her family in decades, but I snapped back to the conversation when Ma started talking about packing bags.

“If you three would pack now and we leave by five, I will pick up dinner for you.”

“Ooh! Guys, hurry, I want Sonic.” Anastasia yelped, running up to her room.

“Hell no! I want chicken!” Zorion yelled, following suit.

I hated chicken. It was rarely made well and was often too dry and stringy for my liking. I did not want chicken, but I also didn’t want to go to Uncle Nick’s, so I assume nobody gets what they want in this world. I quickly rushed to my room and began packing. I brought a jacket, two sweaters, six shirts, four pairs of pants, two pairs of shorts, eight pairs of underwear and five bras. I packed my school computer, school binder, music binder, and sketchbook, as well as my trumpet. I brought chargers for my phone, computer, and headphones, as well as an extra phone charger in case Zorion or Anastasia needed one.

I walked downstairs to wait on the couch to see that Zorion had finished before I did. I sat down and put my hands on my lap.

“Zorion, did you pack?” I queried.

“Yeah, why do you think I’m here?” He scoffed.

I picked up his duffle bag and it felt like the only thing in it was his computer and a pair of socks.

“Zorion, what’s in this?”

“Clothes, my laptop, chargers.”

“How many shirts?”

“One.” He said, not looking up from his phone.

“One? One?”

“Yeah, the two I’m wearing now equals three but...”

“Did you pack any underwear?”

“Yeah. Two pairs.”

“Two?! You are insufferable.”

“Well… front side, backside, inside-out, backside inside out? A single item of clothing can last me a week as long as I shower.”

“Shut up, Zorion.”

Time went by. When I sat on the couch, it was four thirty-six, and the clock ticked to five, and when it hit four fifty, I called for Anastasia.

“Anastasia, come down!” I called.

“Wait, I’m almost done!” She huffed loudly.

“You’re not even finished?” Zorion laughed.

Anastasia came barreling downstairs, holding her bag across her body. She was leaning as if when she stood up straight she’d fall over.

“Anastasia, what is in there?” I groaned.

“Huh..?” She mumbled, blinking quickly at me before responding. “Oh! My bag, my bag! Yeah, I packed clothes, makeup, clothes… Um… A jacket.”

“Gosh… Am I the only sensible person right now?” I groaned, holding the bridge of my nose. “Ma, we’re done!”

“Good, please get in the car,” Ma called from her room, audibly gathering her things.

Anastasia, Zorion, and I ran out to the car, Zorion, and Anastasia arguing over the front seat. Ma came out, her suitcase in hand. She clicked her keys, unlocking the driver’s seat.

“Mom, can I have the front seat?” Zorion whined.

“No, I want it!” Anastasia cried.

“Neither of you two gets it now, Sylvia can sit up front,” Ma said coldly. 

Thank the stars. I would always get nauseous if I sat in the backseat. As Ma opened the trunk, she unlocked the other doors of the car. I preferred to sit with my things, but the others put them in the back. We started driving and Zorion and Anastasia argued about where they wanted to eat, but Ma pulled into Sonic, not bothering to ask anybody in the car.

“Hell yeah!” Anastasia exclaimed, telling Ma her exact order.

Zorion groaned, but I just zoned out before telling my mother that I wanted a corn dog. After I ate my food, I sank into my seat and shut my eyes, longing for the touch of sleep once again. My eyes drifted back into my skull as the dark vignette of sleep consumed my brain.

“Sylvia, wake up, we are here.” My mother whispered, shaking me lightly.

“Huh..?” I mumbled, opening my eyes. “Oh. Uncle Nick’s.”

I grabbed my things and checked my watch. It read seven forty-eight. I shuffled the limbs of my body to wake them up, quickly grabbing my bag off the floor of the car and stepping out. Anastasia stood with her arms crossed, making quiet conversation with Zorion as they both awaited being let into the house.

The sun just barely dipped below the horizon, painting streaks of pink across the sky before fading off into a deep blue. The dark, warm air hugged my skin as I mindlessly approached Zorion and Anastasia. They were rattling on about how much they wanted to go back home until someone emerged from the front door of the house. It was Nicolai.

He said nothing, simply gestured that we could come in with his hand, and went back inside. His dark blonde hair was gelled down to his scalp and he wore a light blue button-up shirt with a pair of khaki dress pants. He walked back into the house and the three of us followed quickly.

“Fuck, man, I don’t want to be here.” Zorion groaned quietly.

“Shh… Shh…” Anastasia hushed. “He’s right there.”

A chill ran through my spine as we walked into the front door and we were all addressed.

“Zoechka, Silvushka, Nastya! Hello, you three.” Uncle Nicolai spoke. His use of diminutives showed his love for us, as they were used with affection.

His accent was thick, and as the feeling of uncertainty and distance set in, I felt alone. I felt different. Different from everyone in my whole family, my whole world. He stood next to the stove, cooking what was dinner for seven.

“Masha, you are here.” He smiled, his face lighting up.

My mother’s name was Mariya, but her family referred to her as Masha. His tone had more inflection than I had ever heard in a voice like his as he talked with my mother in Russian. His cold expression was one I couldn’t read, one I couldn’t learn. Ma’s, however, was distressed as she rambled on with only simple words flooding to me as she spoke.

Uncle Nick simply looked at his son to signal to him what he wanted, and he followed his silent request. He shooed us out of the kitchen, pushing us to the living room. Amelia sat on a cushion closest to the wall on the couch that faced the back windows. As Zorion and Anastasia sat on the couch, she tensed in fear at the sudden interruption.

“Oh. Hello, you two.” She grinned, her soft voice reflecting an accent as well.

They clamored on, but I quickly sat down at a chair facing the living room entrance. Nicolai stood to the right of it, the side without couches, with his hands behind his back. He had a cold expression on his face as he stood, looking dead as always. His face resembled his father's every time I saw him.

As I stared more and more intensely, we locked eyes. I quickly looked away, making sure I couldn’t see any part of his body at all. I did the one thing I could do: Pull my headphones over my head and play on my phone. I was always the outcast. Unlike Nicolai, who had things to do and people to relate to, I had nothing and nobody. Nothing to do and nobody to relate to.

I wasn’t tired. I’d slept so many times that day that sleep became something unimportant to me. I stared off into space as I fully grasped the situation around me as if my eyes were sucked into my brain for just a brief moment, but I was finally alive and could process what was going on. My mind rattled, a disgusting, eerie sound, as my mind raced, yet I came up fruitless. No reasons could come to my mind as to why I was there.

Then, it clicked in my mind. The one person I was sure knew was Nicolai. Yet he saw me as someone otherworldly, not in a good way. He saw everyone as inferior, especially women, so getting a straight answer out of him would be one of the hardest social interactions I’d have to have. I had to do it, though, and I knew I would.

Eventually, I mustered up what little courage I had to talk to the one relative my age who genuinely frightened me. I got up from my seat in the oddly comfortable chair I was sitting in and approached Nicolai, still standing next to the doorway.

“What do you want?” He spat, his cold gaze unmoving. His accent was nearly as thick as his father’s.

“Why am I here?” I asked, quietly. “Why are any of us here?”

Nicolai physically turned his head to look at me, and the look he wore was pure disgust and shock.

“Do not act that way, Sylvia, you are not dumb.” He said, looking away from me and back to the wall. He was ungiving.

“Listen, you need to tell me, I don’t under—”

“You do not understand? What is there not to understand?”

“Hey don’t cut me off.”

“Sylvia, you will follow the same path your father has. It has been laid out in front of you like a devastating work of art.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“If you are too idiotic to understand that, I guess you are just like him. Now, get.” He shooed me off with his hands, but I remained relentless and stood where I was.

“What do you not understand, Sylvia? Get.”

“No! Not until you tell me what is going on here.”

He looked at me weirdly before he called his father in his mother tongue, something about dinner. Quickly, he left his post next to the entryway and went into the kitchen to set up the dinner table. Zorion, Anastasia, and Amelia sat on the couch, laughing. I sat quietly next to them on the floor, playing with my hair.

“Look who joined the party!” Anastasia laughed.

“Hi, Amelia,” I said, ignoring Anastasia.

“Hello, Silvushka!” Amelia responded, her face lighting up. “Oh, you three, it is almost dinner time, I see Kolya setting up the table.”

She had referred to me with a diminutive, which warmed me, as I knew the history behind them. It took me a bit to understand who Kolya was, but I saw Nicolai setting up the table in the background. It was a weird nickname in my opinion, as it had a K and a Y, and completely rearranged the other letters of his name.

She got up from her seat and I looked at what she was wearing. She wore a black, short-sleeved button-up and an ankle-length, brown, pleated skirt. Her wavy, brunette hair was different from her brother's straight blonde hair, something I had never noticed before. It was shoulder length, but the back was up in a small tuft of a ponytail. She clearly hadn’t brushed her hair in a few days, but I understood. Hair is awful, sometimes.

She made an indiscernible conversation with her father, who just stared at her with the same look Nicolai had looked at me. It was like it was genetic, the only face the two of them could make. His son, however, walked not past the entrance of the kitchen to alert us that dinner was ready and that we needed to come to the table.

As I sat at the dinner table, my body tensed. The atmosphere was rigid and thick like I was swimming in snow. There was a bench that touched the wall, two chairs facing the wall, and two more chairs on the sides of the table. I sat in the chair closest to the basement, the one on the side of the table. Ma was sitting to my right in a chair, and as everyone picked their seats, Uncle Nicolai began serving food in the seven bowls his son had laid out.

Nicolai sat down before the other three did, and he stared at me the whole time. He looked at me above his glasses, which had a beaded chain that went around his neck. For the brief moment we locked eyes, I felt uneasy.

Zorion sat next to me, Anastasia sat next to him, and Amelia sat next to her. Unlike Zorion and Anastasia, she was silent. Her hands were on the table, staring blankly. As Uncle Nicolai finally plated his bowl of food, he somewhat awkwardly patted my mother’s back. Something was wrong. I knew something was wrong and I didn’t know. I didn’t know what was wrong.

“Masha would like to speak about our arrangement before we begin eating.” Uncle Nicolai said, sitting down.

“Yes, I would, thank you,” Ma said. “I know I haven’t always been on the… best terms with my family, so you three have my eternal gratitude for taking care of my children on such short notice. I am leaving for Germany to take care of family business tomorrow morning. I expect you three to respect my brother and the rules of his home, please.”

Uncle Nicolai made a gesture, in which Amelia and Nicolai started eating. I followed, picking at the odd sausage and gravy mixture in my bowl. Chatter made its way across the table, but it wasn’t much. Somehow, even Zorion and Anastasia were reduced to whispers. The loudest anyone would talk was Uncle Nicolai scolding anybody who put their elbows on his table.

Amelia and Zorion ate quickly like they had somewhere to be. Nicolai, much like his mannerisms, ate slowly, yet faster than I did. Ma ate with haste, as she did have somewhere to be in the morning. As Zorion and Amelia finished their food, the four others were only halfway done. I, however, wasn’t close to halfway done. As everyone finished their dinner, I found myself just halfway done with my food, eventually sitting alone at the table.

“Uncle Nicolai, I can’t eat all this food,” I mumbled.

“I made that for you, you will sit at this table until you are done.” He said coldly.

“Kolka, she has a small stomach,” Ma said, washing her dish.

“No, Masha, she will eat what I made for her.”

“You’ve always been like this Nicolai, you won’t listen.”

They continued to fight in Russian as I tried to eat the rest of my soup, but my mother took it from me.

“Sylvia, I’ll eat it,” She said, a cold smile on her face. “Please, go set up in the living room, it’s almost time for bed.”

I hurried off in fear to the living room, where Anastasia was blowing up an air mattress she pulled out of god knows where. I stared blankly as she pumped air into the mattress, Amelia bouncing her hands on it every few seconds.

“Oh my— Anastasia, where did you get that?” I sighed.

“Well,” She giggled. “If it matters so much, I brought it. This couch messes up my back.”

“Dude. You brought a whole mattress?”

“Yeah. Are you mad you have to sleep on the furniture?”

“No.”

“Sounds like you are.”

“No, I’m not.”

Anastasia set the pump down and lay on the mattress, loudly groaning. She was trying to flaunt her one smart moment to everyone.

“Oh, you three, it is time for bed. Goodnight.” Amelia sputtered, rushing to her room as quickly as she could without running.

The heels of Nicolai’s shoes clicked quietly against the wood of the hallway, and he quietly walked off to his room. As the noise from the four of us died down, the hushed argument from the kitchen dripped into the living room. I listened, trying to understand what little words I knew, but Zorion and Anastasia were too loud.

“Shut up Zorion!” Anastasia giggled, bouncing on her bed.

“You shut up, this is why you’re adopted!” Zorion spat back.

“Oh my god,” Anastasia gasped satirically. “I’m adopted?”

The volume of her statement was unknown to herself and even Zorion, who kept talking. I, however, noticed that once Anastasia said what she said, the argument stopped. The hard clacks of Uncle Nicolai’s shoes were much different than his son’s, though it might have been because he was upset.

“We do not yell past ten.” He yelled, quite hypocritically.

Anastasia stared and nodded her head, while Zorion fiddled with his fingers.

“I’m sorry,” Anastasia mumbled.

Uncle Nicolai scoffed and turned the ceiling light off, walking to his room. He left Ma in the kitchen, but I didn’t want to wait for her to come out. Zorion turned onto his side, looking away from us and onto the couch. Anastasia tossed and turned until Ma came into the doorway, where she shot up.

“Goodnight, you three.” She whispered, walking off.

��Night, Ma,” Zorion mumbled, somehow already nearing sleep.

I said nothing. I sat upright for some time, listening to Anastasia tossing around and Zorion’s soft snoring. Honestly, some would just describe it as heavy breathing. The shirt I wore irritated my neck, but no matter how many times I pulled it away from me, it came back just as fast. I laid down on the throw pillow on the couch, too lazy to bring out my own.

I stared at the ceiling. It wasn’t mine, it was different. The couch wasn’t mine, the room wasn’t mine. None of this was as familiar as my room and that made it so hard to sleep no matter my exhaustion. I was always like this when I went to someone’s house, but it was worse here because I couldn’t stay up until I dropped, I had things to do.

The air conditioning whirred, Anastasia mumbled, and Zorion breathed. So many noises in that one room accompanied by the sound of my breathing was too much to handle. I reached for my phone and headphones on the floor. In the time it took me to turn my headphones on and play music through them, my heartbeat was strong and I was sweating cold.

Soft guitar filled my ears, and while the shirt still bothered my neck, I didn’t care. I didn’t care about anything outside of what I was doing. I stared at the ceiling once more, longing for my room. The longest week of my life was ahead of me, I knew it.

[beautifulnightmareunknown]

oh deer (lol this is cringy)

hiii. so my morning was actually really nice. i woke up, went to the gym with my sis, got back home, ate and made my meals for the day then went to go get ready for work. while i was showering grace (my sis) got my clothes and all my “getting ready” things together for me and she even made and brought me my coffee. omfg and she made my bed for me lol. ive loved having her home from college. she really is my best friend. i feel like i can literally talk to her about anything and everything and there is no judgment or negative thoughts/feelings. i go to her for just about anything and she is always there. ANYWAYS, i left home and was bee bopping on my way to work listening to some music and just doing my thang. well i was almost to work and i freaking deer jumps out in front of me. i was only going about 35mph so the damage isnt that bad, but my hood is a little bent up and my grill is a little busted. other than that though my car is fine. i did however get in touch with my insurance guy and hes referring me to this place to get it fixed without filing a claim if i dont have to. hopefully its not too much money, but either way i just want my car fixed. i wouldnt mind driving around a cute little rental car either. 

im currently at work right now, its nap time. i really cannot wait to start my new job. this place is just forever getting on my nerves. i love tammy to death (my co-teacher) but damn she is lazy. like when the kids need something shes always like trying to sneak tell them to ask me so that i will do it. and dont even get me started on the admin here. theyre just as bad if not worse. i was supposed to get finger printed like 2 or 3 weeks ago but i was sick on the day i was scheduled so i missed it and they just keep getting on my ass about rescheduling it like its my job to do so. which its not by the way. but little do they know its my last week here so it doesnt even matter. they just all get on my nerves here. its like no one wants to do their job and i mean thats why half the workers are leaving and why the whole class comes to me instead of the lead lol. i am going to miss the kids somewhat but not enough for me to stay and the pay here sucks. but yeah im going to work this week out and then text melanie (the director) that i quit. i dont care how unprofessional that is only because when they hired me here they made me not put in a 2 weeks notice to my previous job like i didnt have a choice and you know what they say.. “do unto others like you would want done to you” or something like that. then ill just have a week to chill and get into my new routine because quite literally fuck this place and lowkey fuck my schedule right now too. 

ive been really good this year about keeping a positive mindset and not letting certain things get to me. i plan to keep it that way for the whole year and only work on bettering myself. i have weeded out most toxic aspects of my life and have gained more positive and encouraging in replace. i believe this year is only going to get better and more successful. one of my personal goals for this year is to read as many books as my height. thats crazy sounding i know but i am already off to a decent start with one book lol. 

nap time is almost over so i am going to go ahead and sign off now. byeeee

[rinskazuu]

their voice lines about you, as their lover!

just my fav characters^^

INSPIRED BY @fatuismooches and their “harbingers’ voicelines about you.” they did so well, i loved it. y’all should go check it out!

xiao, itto, tighnari, ayato, ningguang, sara, yanfei, childe, diluc, zhongli, kaeya, beidou, cyno, & al haitham x gn!reader

implied that reader is an immortal/non mortal being in xiao & zhongli's.

cw: fluff. use of they/them pronouns. pet names: you’re mostly referred to as their “lover”, and “my darling” in 2 of them. some of them are slightly ooc, but i already put it in parentheses. i tried my best!

a/n: this is my very first post here, and im kinda nervous because even tho ive been writing for a long time, im still rlly insecure of my work. i removed a couple characters cus it got too long.. but if you guys like it, ill make a part two<3

hsr version

edit: please excuse my punctuation, especially the improper use of the commas and lack of oxford commas. (this is an edit made after a LONG time since this was posted)

♡

XIAO

about [name]:

“hm? you want to know about [name]? well… there’s not much to say. what? i’m not blushing!”

chat: meals

“personally, the idea of human cuisine doesn’t delight me much. food isn’t necessary for an adepti but, i do enjoy [name]’s cooking quite a lot. they make the best almond tofu.”

chat: stress

xiao lets out a deep sigh, “[name] is too careless. and while they have such a big heart, they take too many dangerous commissions. on more than one occasion, i had to find them myself, just to see them injured. they claim they didn't call my name, because they don’t want to become a burden but, i… ah, never mind.”

chat: bonds

“hm… [name] and i have known each other for centuries. it really does make me happy seeing them and morax together. ah? he goes by zhongli now…?”

chat: flowers

“flowers? such a distraction... i pay no mind to them. but, i have heard from many mortals that, people in relationships do cherish such gifts. should i pick some for [name]?”

♡

ITTO

about [name]:

“[name]?! you’ve met [name]? they’re so cool right? they’re my best bro, my everything, my one and only! tell me, has [name] said anything about me to you? they said they love me? oh! hm? my cheeks? THEY’RE NOT TURNING RED, it’s just the paint…”

chat: onikabuto

“yeah, i’m the best and number 1 at onikabuto fighting! i always win! well, except when i fight with [name]. somehow, they always win, i don’t know how! they never let me in on their secret too. one day, they will tell me.”

chat: jail

“[name] is great. they bail me out all the time. really, i’m so grateful to have them! they’re fit to be the leader of the arataki gang but, nobody can be the leader except me, arataki itto.”

chat: picnics

“[name] and i always go out for picnics, and then we have an onikabuto fight. even though they always win, i’m happy to be spending time with them. but, you gotta be careful, last time, i spilled some of the juice and [name] got a bit angry. huh? what do you mean i don’t seem like a picnic guy?”

chat: horns

“yeah these babies are painted! i usually paint them but sometimes, [name] helps me cover the spots i can’t. they’re so good at it too. is there anything they’re not good at?”

♡

TIGHNARI

about [name]:

“you’ve met my wonderful lover, i see. yes, [name] often helps around gandharva ville. they do visit frequently, even though they reside in sumeru city.”

chat: sadness

tighnari sighs, “i do miss [name] a lot. i know they come often but, with them being busy working for the akademiya, it does get a little lonely without their presence during the night.”

chat: views

“hm, i’d say gandharva ville has some of the best views in all of sumeru! i take [name] to some of these places and, it lights a smile every time! a lot of beautiful flowers and mushrooms grow here. i do make sure to pick the non-poisonous ones though!”

chat: jealousy

“[name] has such a kind soul, all the forest rangers admire them. how could they not? i’ve never seen them do a bad thing in my entire life! though, it does get frustrating when they stare at them too long… i do admit, i get a little jealous.”

chat: petting

“ah? you want to pet my ears? well… i usually only allow [name] to pet me but, i’m sure they wouldn’t mind either. my tail? hah, now you’re going too far!”

♡

AYATO

about [name]:

“hm? [name]? yes, that is the future head of the kamisato clan. ah, don’t tell them just yet but, i do plan on placing this lovely ring where it rightfully belongs.”

chat: family

“well, with only my sister left of our family, i do cherish her very much. [name] gets along with ayaka quite well. hm, speaking of which, they’re probably spending time together, at this hour.”

chat: work

“aside from being the head of the kamisato clan, my role as a commissioner does get in the way of a lot of things, including spending time with my lover. it’s such a shame. yet, they’re so patient with me. say, traveler, do you think i’m undeserving of [name]?”

chat: bubble tea

“haha, i am quite fond of bubble tea. i request for thoma to get it for me often. somehow, [name] always gets wind of it and steals a couple sips. they probably think they’re sneaky but, i know thoma is always telling them. they’re adorable so, i suppose i can’t be complaining.”

chat: safety

“during the vision hunt decree, [name] was really busy working and it worried me to death. i barely saw them and, unfortunately, i had to ask their close friend, kujou sara. both her and i share concerns over them so, she helped me even though, she was a little reluctant.”

♡

NINGGUANG

about [name]:

“apologies, traveler, i’m a little busy right now. [name]? ah, my lover. well, i suppose i can sit down and have a chat about them for a bit.”

chat: danger

“although i’ve had a couple discussions with the adventure guild about [name]’s dangerous commissions, nothing seems to stop them. of course, they’re very passionate about helping others but, i’m worried they’ll put themselves in danger and i won’t be there to save them. traveler, maybe you can talk to them?”

chat: lunch

“hm yes, [name] and i go out to liuli pavilion a lot. i hear many people of liyue mutter about how jealous they are of them, how easy it is gain my attention and time. though, that does strike up my worry about their safety…”

chat: shopping

“although my job, as the protector of liyue, tends to get me busy, you might find it shocking that i do spend a lot of my time with my lover. we go shopping every week. not that i’d ever let you see but, my closet is filled with clothes that match theirs.”

weather: rain

“agh, the rain is such a bother. on the other hand, [name] is fond of the rain, they often venture during this weather. although i despise it, i suppose i can tolerate it for them. will you be a dear and fetch me an umbrella?"

♡

SARA

about [name]:

"so, you want to know about [name]? i hope for your sake, that you don't have any malicious intentions, but other than that, i'll be happy to talk about them."

chat: loyalty

"yes, i am rather extremely loyal to the shogun. [name]? i assure you that this topic doesn't affect our relationship. despite the fact that i'm not shy to talk about it, i'd rather keep our affairs private."

chat: knitting (ooc? hc)

"huh? knitting... so, [name] told you about that. well, i suppose i can tell you, i do enjoy the simple hobby with them. it tends to release a lot of stress. although, i'm not sure why they spoke about it..."

weather: thunder

"the lightning and thunder is a sign of the shogun's will. i do often announce my loyalty to the shogun but, more times than none, i get aggravated by it. the only other thing that allows me to tolerate it is [name]. they love to huddle up to me and i find it adorable, it really takes my mind off the weather. don't tell them... or you might have to start sleeping with one eye open."

chat: onigiri

"as a warrior in inazuma, it's hard to carry heavy foods with me when i am not home, which is why i ask [name] to make me onigiri. they make it so well, it's packed with flavor and it's easy to carry. i always miss their specialty dishes though."

♡

YANFEI

about [name]:

"have you met [name] yet? you have! hm, the expression on your face tells me the meeting with them was delightful. i'll tell you, being a legal adviser is not easy but seeing their bright face every time i come home, makes it a ton easier. they make me forget about all the civil cases."

chat: comfort

"sometimes, i think i'm good at hiding my facial expressions but the moment i come home and see [name], they know exactly how my day went, or more so what type of day i had. they're exceedingly perceptive and, having a lover like them makes my life a whole lot worthwhile."

chat: late night work

"like i said, being a legal adviser isn't necessarily easy, especially when you have a big case. i spend a lot of nights reading into boring cases, like that will i've recently encountered, however, [name] tends to bring me tea and sit in my home office to comfort me. it often distracts me but, i don't mind."

chat: cooking

"i'm sure i've mentioned how much i love tofu, right? well, [name] makes it ten times better. they spoil me too much, often rewarding me with tofu. i can't cook the way they can. archons, i wonder what i did to deserve such a lover like them."

chat: legal knowledge

"though it may come off as a shock, [name] knew quite a lot about laws before i met them. it wasn't until we got into a relationship, did i know about that. you bet i fell even more in love with them."

♡

CHILDE

about [name]:

"good evening comrade! ah, what am i doing? picking flowers for my darling of course. i see, so you have met [name]. haha, they are truly wonderful aren't they? the more deserving they are of my time to be picking glaze lilies for them then, huh?"

weather: snow

"are you shivering, comrade? this weather is nothing compared to snezhnaya! you really remind of [name]. when i brought them to dragonspine, they were sniffling and whatnot. scared me half to death when a hue of blue took over their face, which is what convinced me to halt my vacation to snezhnaya with them."

chat: sparring

"everything in this world pales in comparison to the thrill of sparring. well, aside from spending time with my lover, of course. speaking of which; they're truly strong. [name] has beaten me every time we've sparred throughout our entire relationship, and they think i'm going easy on them but truth is, i really struggle against them..."

chat: spending

"[name] often scolds me for pampering them with expensive gifts but, i see it as a harmless gesture. of course i'm going to spoil my darling, how could i not?! ah, don't tell them about this one. do you think they'll like it? should i get another ring? i am getting sweaty thinking about their reaction. hm, thank you for the reassurance, comrade."

chat: family

"apart from teucer, [name] hasn't met any of my family yet. i'm fully convinced they'll love them though. they get along really well with teucer, he's even went on to call them an older sibling. it makes my heart swell. nothing brings me more joy than seeing my family and lover getting along."

♡

DILUC

about [name]:

"[name]? of course i've met them, they are my lover after all. so you've heard...? they're a wonderful, kind, and passionate soul. what truly delayed our love was that they're a knight of favonius, a captain no less. but, i've grown to love that part of them as well."

chat: job (slightly ooc?)

"[name] looks wonderful under the dim light of angel's share, don't you think? even though we've been in a relationship for a long time, i will never get used to the way they're always so beautiful. ah, pardon me, i'm being unprofessional."

chat: brother

"tch, kaeya can be quite a bother, honestly. but, [name] always encourages me to reconcile with him. i'm not sure what there is to reconcile... though, i understand they do have only pure intentions."

weather: breeze

"usually, i pay no mind to the weather but, as of late, [name] has taken a keen interest in taking me out to cider lake during the night. it's often windy, sometimes a light breeze will cross us. like usual, they look wonderful under the night's light."

chat: art

"i'm not one to be into art but, it's one of [name]'s hobbies. they spend quite a lot of time indulging in this. everything they've made has been, how do i say this... a masterpiece."

♡

ZHONGLI

about [name]:

"i'm not too understanding of human emotions but, one thing i've grown to recognize is my love for [name]. if you haven't met them, i'd be more than happy to introduce them to you. oh? so, you already have. enlighten me on what you think of them."

chat: gifts

"yet again, i've never quite understood the concept of this human tradition; gifting. [name] has informed me on it and i'd like to get them a present too. what do you think, traveler? something sentimental would suffice."

chat: familial bonds (based off hc, might be a little ooc)

"throughout the millennia i've lived, death has swept past me time and time again. aside from [name], that i met a couple hundred years ago, i've gotten a little attached to xiao, which in turn caused me to keep him closer than i intended. no matter, it fills me with joy to watch xiao open up to someone beside me. [name] tends to have that effect."

chat: tea

"tea is arguably one of the only human invented drinks i can tolerate. it's far better than wine. hm, speaking of which, i often send packages of tea i've acquired to [name]. they seem to love it so, i'd be more than delighted to grace a smile on their lovely face."

chat: painting

"quite like the art of tea, painting is... calming. [name] has been painting for centuries and yet, they have not grown bored of it. i find it astonishing, the way they're easily inspired by the changes of liyue. hm, i do enjoy watching them. sometimes, they would ask me to help them, and who am i to say no to my lover?"

♡

KAEYA

about [name]:

"you're surprised i have a lover? haha, well a lot of people fall for my charm, and it's no different for [name]. though, i was also a little shocked, that somebody could have me wrapped around their finger like they do."

chat: drinking

"often times than not, [name] has dragged me home from angel's share, quite literally. yet, they haven't grown tired of me. i suppose i should stop, for their sake."

chat: intimacy

"[name] and i both work long hours, and even though we pass by each other a lot in the halls of the knights of favonius headquarters, i do miss their touch. recently, [name] has suggested late night dates. that's when we started going out to cider lake to go swimming. the water's cold but, it's nothing either of us can't handle."

chat: secrets

"you want to know my secrets? haha, if i told you then, they wouldn't be secrets anymore, would they? [name]...? well, it's best they don't know about my secrets... for their safety of course."

chat: spare time

"what i do in my free time...? well, i spend it with [name] of course! life would be dull without their presence. i'm often busy, and i drink a lot but, without them, i'd be nothing but a shell of a man. i have [name] to thank for making me a happy person."

♡

BEIDOU

about [name]:

"what do you want to know about [name]? i'm the official [name] guide! they easily make my life like a boat on calm waters. though, i'm always adventuring on the sea, and they're associated with the qixing, we always make time for each other."

chat: souvenirs

"am i that easy to read? well, anyone with the right mind would bring back gifts for their lover, especially if their lover is [name]. they've told me about how much they enjoy the portrait i ordered to be painted for us, even though it's not a souvenir."

chat: sailing

"of course, [name] has been on my boat! it took a lot of convincing and arguing with ningguang to allow her subordinate to take a couple days off... i'd love to take them sailing again one day, but, i suppose i'll have to wait a while before that opportunity comes by again."

chat: occupation

"being a pirate did not make it any less intriguing for [name] to start a relationship with me. initially, it was platonic but, during my time on the sea, i began really feeling the absence of their voice and touch. that's when i really understood my feelings."

chat: drinking

"regardless of the fact that i do hold my alcohol well, i'm afraid [name] has seen me drunk on multiple occasions. they gave me an earful the mornings after. i understand their worries over me so, i drink less now."

♡

CYNO

about [name]:

"you are not the first to be shocked that i have a lover. what? is it because i'm the general mahamatra? my career doesn't often get in the way of our rela- what? it's because of my appearance? what's wrong with it...? ah, i see. i can assure you, [name] is a person who's almost never afraid. they're mostly fascinated by things that seem thrilling, though i advise them to keep themself safe. not like they listen to me..."

chat: desert

"while [name] hadn't originated from the desert, they adapt quite well. occasionally, they have complained about the heat, not that i blame them but, they adjust rather quickly."

chat: rivalry

"hmph, that al-haitham... he doesn't get along with many people, probably because of that awful attitude of his but, unsurprisingly, he and [name] are close. i'm not afraid to lose them to him, no, but rather cautious of him. you can never trust a man like him."

chat: star watching (slightly ooc?)

"i was never a big fan of the stars but, ever since my first encounter with [name], they've always encouraged me to go star watching with them. the sky has hardly any affect on me and even though i agree to tag along, i always spend my time staring at them. they are truly mesmerizing..."

chat: concerns

"i'm confident in [name]'s ability to protect themself but, my title as general mahamatra does worry me regarding their safety. sometimes, i follow them during their adventures to make sure they're alright. what? they've noticed? i- never mind..."

♡

AL-HAITHAM

about [name]:

"apologies traveler but, i am on a time crunch at the moment. [name]? did something happen to them- ah, never mind. your expression is too relaxed for anything bad to have happened to them while i was away. you want to talk about them...? well, ask away, i suppose."

chat: academic

"yes, [name] and i both studied at the akademiya. we were rivals at one point but, somewhere along the way, they had me hooked. looking at it from a much different perspective, i see now, that it was the best thing to have ever happened to me."

chat: knowledge

"nothing halts me from my thirst for knowledge. but, if anything comes close to it, it would be [name]. hm... no, i'd say they're the only one who could. nonetheless, they would never, seeing as they always praise and encourage me."

chat: rivalry

"general mahamatra? i wouldn't be surprised if he wanted [name]. first, after a position he was second best at, and now my lover? i'd like to see that fool try."

chat: reading

"comprehending every aspect of this world and it's secrets is a passion both [name] and i share. i'd have to admit, they're more into the pleasure of sparring over knowledge but, we do often spend our time reading together."

[autmism]

friendly neighborhood gift-shopist

pairing(s) ; steven grant x teen!reader (platonic + gender neutral reader)

warning(s) ; bullying

synopsis; (requested) teen reader goes on a school field trip to the museum and is rlly excited about it but a couple people in their class are being kinda mean to them. Maybe they go to by something from the gift shop and have a wholesome conversation with Steven about bullies or something?

-> masterlist

a/n; ty for the request! ive been dying to write moonsys x teen!reader for the longest time! :3

field trips are always the highlight of the academic year; a whole day where you aren’t expected to do any boring worksheets and get time away from school. well, they tended to be fun for those who got to spend a day outside of school with a friend, but for those like y/n… not so fun!

“hey y/n, what are you up to? trying to make friends with the dead guy in the coffin?” thomas, one of the many people that made y/n’s life hell on a regular basis, leaned over the glass casing that protected the sarcophagus with an almost disgustingly fake smile.

“it’s called a sarcophagus, thomas, maybe if you left me alone for once you’d actually learn something for once,” y/n huffed adjusting their tie, “piss off, will you?”

“fuck off, you neek.” thomas scoffed, standing up straight. classic ‘alpha male’ move to intimidate y/n.

“you’re the one still standing here, i’m trying to do this thing called reading, try it some time.” y/n rolled their eyes, their hand languidly gesturing towards the text of writing going into detail about the artefact.

“you’ll regret that, freak.”

“ooh, big deal,” y/n muttered under their breath as he stormed away. suddenly the text about the sarcophagus seemed much less interesting than it had been prior to their encounter with thomas. school had always been hard for y/n, mainly the social aspect. the academic part was easy, y/n passed all their exams with flying colours. when they started secondary school, they couldn’t tell which group of people they fit in with, or how they could figure that out. but before they could’ve had a chance to figure it out, everyone was already in cliques and groups, it was like everyone else just knew what to do and y/n was a complete outsider.

“you’ll regret that freak, blah blah blah, oooh so scary,” y/n mumbled, rolling their eyes and walking away from the display, “you’ll regret these fucking nuts in your mouth.”

“ello there! how can i help you?” y/n looked up to notice they were stood at a gift shop stand, a man with the name tag ‘steven’, smiling at them.

“unless you know a thing or two about beating teenagers up, not sure if you have anything of interest for me, steven,” y/n chuckled, noticing a basket of hippo plushies. taweret.

“how do you… know my name?” he raised an eyebrow and y/n just tapped on their shirt where steven’s name tag was on himself, “oh! yeah, always forget that’s there, classic me.”

“that’s okay,” y/n laughed, picking up a taweret plush, “how much is this?”

“twenty quid, bit overpriced i’ll say,” steven rubbed the back of his head. y/n dug through their school blazer pockets, searching for their wallet to see if they could afford the taweret plush. they opened the wallet to find only fifteen pounds and sighed.

“five pounds short, thanks for the help, i probably would’ve been picked on for buying a toy anyways,” y/n laughed putting the plush back onto the pile of identical hippos.

“by that plonker that bothered you earlier? knew he seemed like a wrong’un,” steven shook his head, “tell you what! you give me the tenner and i’ll give you the plush and it’ll be our secret, yeah?”

“won’t you get into trouble?” y/n lowered their voice.

“nothin’ old steven over here can’t handle!” he tapped on his name tag with a goofy smile, “save the fiver for a meal deal, or somethin’.”

y/n smiled shyly, taking the ten pound note out of their wallet and sliding it to steven and then passing the taweret plush to him to scan, “thanks, steven.”

“taweret is a lovely goddess, goddess of childbirth and fertility, but also of children and protection, so who knows, maybe she’ll protect you from those bloody plonkers that keep botherin’ you, yeah?” steven spoke, whilst scanning the plushie’s barcode and putting the money into the till, but also sliding his own ten pound note in along with y/n’s.

“you think so?” y/n smiled sadly.

“met her once, lovely hippo woman goddess, she is,” steven nodded, smiling to himself knowing that he was telling the truth.

“oh yeah? and how does steven the friendly neighbourhood gift-shopist happen to meet taweret an egyptian goddess?” y/n laughed, playing along.

“oh you know, we go way back we do! steven of the gift shop and taweret egyptian goddess of childbirth, like two peas in a pod,” steven laughed with y/n, “happened to tell her all about this kid who was having trouble with some other kids at school, you know what she said?”

“what’d she say?”

“she said, ‘not on my watch!’, fixed those bullies right up, she did,” steven did a horrible impression of a woman’s voice, but nonetheless it made y/n laugh and he was happy he was able to cheer them up.

“you’ll have to thank her on my behalf,” y/n smiled, “i’m y/n.”

“ooh, lovely name, innit?”

“you think so?” y/n made a face, hinting that they didn’t agree.

“i do, sounds like the name of a very smart young person,” he stated matter-of-factly.

“well, you’d be right about that,” y/n smirked smugly.

“year eleven!! it’s time to get lined up, please finish what you’re doing and come here!” a man raised his voice not too far away from where y/n was standing.

“that’s my cue, thank you, steven,” y/n smiled at the man and made their way over to their teacher, the taweret plush tucked under their arm tightly.

“steven, the friendly neighbourhood gift-shopist, huh?”

“what? i thought it was sweet,” steven smiled at the reflective surface that marc’s voice came from.

[grippingbeskar]

The Element of Surprise | Part 7

Chapter Seven: The Meal

mando x fem!reader

series masterlist here

warnings : adult content (marked with **,fingering, general sexual content)  MINORS DNI, swearing

word count: 4.7k

a\n: heyy guys, thanks for reading! theres going to be adult content in the next chapters, probably most lol so I will put warnings in description, but also mark where it starts and ends with *** so that people can skip if they want, i will try not to include any really important parts in there so you dont have to read if you dont want to :) please let me know if i should add any other warnings!! otherwise tysm for reading, it took me a bit longer to post this one but its the longest ive written, hope you enjoy!

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

“Ando?”

“Too wet.”

“Endor?”

“Humid.”

“Jakku?”

“Worse than Tatooine.”

That makes you sit up, the recline of your co-pilot chair obscuring your vision of him as you fired off any planet you could think of. It started when you asked him about your current destination – a small planet in the Outer Rim called Ord Mantell, practically overrun with bounty hunters like the Mandalorian. You weren’t sure exactly how the conversation drifted to this, you listing every planet you dreamed of visiting when you finally got off that damn desert, but you were in awe of the places hes been – you couldn’t imagine the amount of stuff hes seen. He didn’t think it was so amazing, so here you were, trying to find a planet that you shared a mutual appreciation of, but he had a deflection for Every. Single. One.

“There’s nowhere worse than Tatooine.”

“You haven’t been to Jakku.” You roll your eyes at him and flop back in your chair. You need to keep thinking of planets to rattle off, because you don’t think you would be able to control yourself if you fell into another silence. Under the playful tone of your banter, the tension was so thick you could feel it weighing on your chest with each breath. The ghost of his hand was still on your cheek, and you would never admit how many times you ran your hand over the spot when he wasn’t looking. Honestly, you were grateful for the close quarters you were boxed in to, not only for its forced proximity, but if you were alone tonight, you don’t think you would have the willpower to stop your hand drifting below your waist, imagining it was his.

“Naboo!” you practically shout, trying to blink the dirty thoughts away.

He takes longer to answer you, probably putting together a list of why the planet that has been the subject of your wildest dreams utterly and completely sucks – he catches you off guard.

“I like it there.” He says softly, and you didn’t think it was possible for his voice to sound soft through the modulator without whispering, but it hangs heavy with something you can’t place and you smile.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Its – nice. Quiet.” You rotate your chair to face him, and he shuffles his boots slightly to the right, slowly revealing his body to you. His legs are stretched wide, both thighs leaning against each arm rest, and you have to physically pinch your own arm to focus.

“Ive always wanted to see it.” Now it is your voice that hangs heavy, the promise that planet meant to you forever unfulfilled. “My dad promised to take me there when I was a kid. He made it sound so beautiful.” Your head drops from the Mandalorian’s intense gaze to your lap.

“Ill take you.” His words come out rushed, and he looks as startled as you. “I mean – when we go back, to collect the tracking fobs. If there’s one near the planet, we might… see. It. See the planet.”

Even with his back tracking words, it was probably the nicest thing anyone’s ever offered you. You’ve known this man for just longer than a week, and hes already made you feel like no one else has ever made you feel – not just physically – but like right now, so nonchalant about bringing you that close to something you’ve spent your entire life dreaming about. You wanted to thank him, even for just the thought, but instead you smile, the kind that stretches across your whole face and makes your eyes squint slightly and repeat his words back to him.

“If there’s one near the planet, then.” He mumbles a small ‘mhmm’ and his tight grasp on the arm rest relaxes slightly. Taking a moment to observe him while he busies himself flipping switches on the dash.

Spending as much time as you have in close proximity, you have picked up on a couple of his ‘tells’. You may not be able to read his face, but you know that he tilts his head to the left when he is genuinely curious, but to the right when hes being sarcastic. You know he is nervous when he grabs onto something, like now with the chair, or sometimes just balls his fist up, squeezing so tight sometimes his arm shakes slightly. You haven’t seen him angry – only coming close the night he shot the bounty in the hanger – but you assume that he does the same. You wish you knew more about him, though – not just the armoured exterior.

“Can I ask you a question?” he says. It’s such a small sentence, but somehow it makes your brain short circuit – something about the way he says it makes you feel like he was just reading your mind. You manage a small squeak that he apparently takes as affirmation. “How’d you really get that jacket – back on Coruscant?”

It seems so long ago, yet it was a matter of days. It felt so familiar – having to fight and lie to get the barest of necessities. You haven’t even thought about all the things you left behind when you unexpectedly took off in the hull of the Mandalorian’s ship. None of your things mattered to you, you had grown accustomed to having nothing; used to starting from scratch.

“I stole it.” No point in lying. Besides, you get the feeling he already knows.

“Why?” “Because I wanted it.”

“I gave you credits. To buy it.” He says it like it’s the simplest thing in the world, and you guess it is. Why didn’t you just pay the 50 credits – even though it wasn’t worth that much – and just move on?

“I guess I just got – pissed off? The guy was being a total creep and this –“ you hold up the jacket that was laying across your lap and shake it, part of the leather fraying off as you do, proving your point “- is not even real leather. Look at it.” You shake it a little more, and its only when you catch a glimpse of yourself in the reflection of the windscreen of the ship, the dark space that surrounds you almost creating a mirror in its transparency, that you realise you might look a little crazy. You sigh and slump down in the chair again. “I don’t know. I lived on that stupid planet for so long, and never met a single person who would even know how to spell the word generous, so I guess I felt weird taking your money. That, and I am very good at taking things from asshole guys in side stalls, practically made a living out of it.” You smile, thinking of the way you perfectly rolled that sonic beacon into the perfect spot – another skill you can thank Tatooine for.

“You don’t have to – while you’re here. Anything you want, you can just ask.” Anything? You bite your lip before you say something stupid, and the stubbornness inside you, telling you to not rely on anyone but yourself subsides, if only to agree with him. “You could have been hurt.” He says this softer, and you can tell even through the modulator that hes trying to be careful – not overstepping a boundary yet to be set.

“I did spend the better part of three years practising on a planet worse than Coruscant, but I appreciate your concern.” You grin and try to lighten his mood, and a small exhale comes from his helmet, the familiar, gravely sound flooding you with a warm feeling from your toes to your cheeks, something that’s becoming increasingly common the longer you spend alone with him.

“Or you just got lucky.” Hes staring at you, watching intently as your jaw drops slightly, feigning offense.

“I knew you were going to use that fake fighting lesson against me! Just because I couldn’t flip your giant metal ass, unprepared by the way, doesn’t mean I can’t take out a couple of jacket hoarding shop keeps.” he shifts so his entire body faces you, and you take a moment to admire the widespread across his chest, the way the armour rises and falls so subtly, the only tell that there is a living person beneath the beskar.

“Prove me wrong, then. Next time you’ll just have to catch me by surprise.” You physically shiver. Everything he says sounds so open ended, like both an invitation and a warning, and you have no idea how to respond. You respect that he follows his creed, and would never try to disrespect that – similar to how the Jedi follow their rules, you always appreciated their faith in the system, but you wish more than anything to be able to see what his face looks like when he speaks to you, if only to figure out what the hell he wants from you.

You both fall into familiar silence, the low hum of the ship soaring across the darkness in front of you. You could feel his eyes on you, his gaze heavy and analysing. It was only when you shoved the jacket off your legs that you realised you were hot – inexplicably hot. You felt your skin react in goose bumps, tiny shocks of electricity through your body causing you to shift on the chair every three seconds, unable to get comfortable. He was just watching you, and yet you couldn’t help your body’s reaction to it; to him.

All these reactions seem to meet in one place, a ball of something hot and heavy in your core. Oh. You have felt this enough to name it, but you’ve never felt it this… overwhelming before. You can’t think of anything else but his eyes on you, not being able to stop thinking of what else of his you want. He makes you want to be bold, to make a move further than staring somewhat in his direction and hoping he picks up on it.

You thought this was just a crush, having been isolated from people for so long, he was the first man you had any sort of relationship with, but this feeling hasn’t gone away, and you’re not sure how much longer you can avoid it.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Somehow you fell asleep. You think it was because you had exhausted yourself from flipping around like a dead fish for so long that you eventually just passed out. The Mandalorian was already awake, obviously. Did he ever sleep? You thought maybe he just didn’t move, and that all those times you thought he was asleep he was just lying there. You get up out of the co-pilots chair, grabbing some clothes out of the bag that now has a permanent spot in a small corner of the room. As you shuffle through the bag, the bright red dress you stuffed at the bottom is a stark difference to the muted colours of you everyday clothes. You’re not sure why you grabbed it in the first place, but you want to make sure that if you ever get the chance to go back to that club on Coruscant, or any planet for that matter, you won’t be wearing parachute pants and a top with four too many holes. Standing, you don’t have to say anything before the Mandalorian presses a button and the doors open. You head down to the refresher, which is quickly becoming your favourite part of the day.

When you finish, chucking your old clothes in a water bucket to deal with later, your attention is snatched by the tiny green baby, sitting on the floor playing with the empty packet of chips you threw down last night. As cute as he is, Grogu has brought your attention to the bigger issue, how gross this part of the ship is, and you scoop him up in one arm and begin clearing up the clothes, trash and weapons scattered with your free hand.

Grogu babbles and claps as you go, occasionally putting him down when you have to reattach a weapon to its place on the wall or shove all the rubbish into one of the old bags. Looking at your progress, it didn’t take you that long to clean up, not that you did an incredible job. You weren’t going crazy, nor were you going to re organise a ship that clearly had some kind of order, but you felt you did enough to at least start on a ‘thank you for not killing me’ gesture. Looking toward the other side of the ship, you could only see a faint patch of blood from that night the bounty died, and you guess that the Mandalorian must have cleaned it up at some point. You blow out a sigh, secretly admitting to yourself the sickness you were feeling even thinking about having to touch that – that amount of blood freaked you out.

Sitting down next to Grogu, admiring your past hour of work, the baby suddenly gurgles again, getting your attention. You aren’t sure exactly what he wants, but when he reaches out with the Force and shows you several images of frogs, lizards and bread, you nearly scream in excitement.

“Holy shit! You just told me you’re hungry!! OH my god!” You pick him up and swirl him around, happy giggles and laughs erupting from both of you. He spoke to you, completely on his own, something you couldn’t even do in your first year, let alone first week. You were in awe of him, but apparently you were taking too long in celebrating, because suddenly more images and memories of the taste and smell of various foodsflooded your senses, and you physically shook your head and pushed him back, laughing. “Okay! Ok, I’m not sure about the lizards, but I can make you some bread, buddy.”

Plopping him down, you go over to the small cubby you know homes the rations of food. Owning an entire ship, you wonder why the Mandalorian has such plain and cheap food. He could surely afford more than portion bread and dehydrated fruit chips. You added water to two portions, and then made a third bowl. In the spirit of adding to your thank you message, you figure making him breakfast would be a good way to follow up, even if you did just add a tiny bit of water to a bowl. The dropping of the ladder next to your head makes you jump back slightly, allowing for the giant frame of him to come down, practically standing on top of you. Silently, you handed him the bread. He takes it with one hand and looks down at the bowl.

“You cooked.” He speaks, and his voice is slightly deeper than usual. His morning voice. You turn around and resist the urge to splash the cold water on your face just to cool yourself off. Instead, you shrug and sit on the floor next to the baby and start shovelling the bread into your mouth.

Its slightly dry, but you’re so hungry you don’t care, already halfway through your meal before you look up and see the Mandalorian opposite you, also sitting on the floor. He looked funny like that, one leg folded under the other, two hands holding the bowl, making his portion shrink even more in size. You had a sudden realisation then, that while you were here, he couldn’t eat.

“Sorry! Again, sorry.” You could just close your eyes, but you don’t know if that’s enough, and you also don’t want to find out if he doesn’t trust you that much, so you pull a shirt out of one of the bags of clothes and wrap in around your eyes. Darkness immediately covers your vision, and you open your eyes, adjusting the shirt so that you can’t see any peaks of light.

“You can just close your eyes, you know.” Is he smiling? He sounds like hes smiling. Maybe hes annoyed, hes probably noticed your cleaning rampage by now, did you mess up his organised chaos? Maybe you should – “And thank you. For what you did down here. Looks… good.” 

He reads your mind again, and the compliment rushes straight to your head, making you dizzy. You continue to eat, trying not to make it obvious how much he is affecting you. You feel more than hear the helmet hit the metallic floor of the ship, and the butterflies in your stomach are practically tearing you up inside as you imagine the sight in front of you.

You finish your bread, hearing the clank of an empty bowl next to you signalling the baby is also finished. You hear him waddle away, curling back up in his chamber, the door shutting behind him. You take his abandoned bowl and stack them together, unsure of what to do next.

You can’t exactly get up and walk away without feeling like an idiot and probably running into a wall, but the last thing you want to do is rush him. It seems you don’t have to worry, though, because about a minute, you hear him stand. You stand too, shirt still tied across your eyes and go to take a step back when you stumble over the bag of clothes that you dragged behind you to find a blindfold. You brace for the impact of the ships hard floor when two hands wrap around the small of your back, strong and secure, pulling you upright.

It takes you a minute to realise where you are, your eyes still adjusting to the darkness and your mind struggling to figure out you are right side up. The two hands splayed across your back hold onto you tightly, and you press against him. Him. His hands take up most of your lower back, and your thighs are pressed against his. His cool armour meets your flaming hot skin, and all the thoughts you had last time you found yourself this close to the Mandalorian flood back.

You feel one of his hands slowly slide to your hip, your breathing becomes ragged. The deprivation of your sight only adds to the sensation of his hands on you, and that’s when you feel one hand doesn’t have a glove on. He must have taken it off to eat, but the only thought that fills you head is his hand is on you. It slides painfully slow up your side, skirting just to the side of your chest, and ever so slightly brushing your neck as it finally comes to a stop at your cheek. His skin is warm, and his hand is softer than you had imagined. And you had, imagined his hand on your skin, how it might feel, but nothing in your mind could match the feel of him touching you.

His thumb brushes slowly against the side of your face, sweeping across your bottom lip, so, so slowly you think you might faint. Then he takes his hand from your face hear him suck, louder than would be necessary, on his thumb, before placing his hand back on your face. This movement alone would become your undoing. The wetness of his thumb not only reminds you that there must have been food on your face from when you inhaled your food earlier, but also that he just cleaned it off your face and fucking ate it. Thinking about how he must have looked doing that makes your legs shake and brings you to your third epiphany.

His helmet is still off.

His hair, his hair brushes against your jaw, and his lips connect with your neck.

They are soft and full and move with aching precision, slowly moving up, kissing your jaw, and then back down to the sweet spot just under. He sucks there lightly, eliciting a small moan, and you are suddenly very aware of how your hands are still hanging at your sides. One grabs forward, unsure and shaky, finding an armoured belt and using it as leverage to pull his closer. He continues kissing and sucking at your neck, and begins to move up again to your jaw, peppering light kisses stopping just shy of your lips. He must still be close, because you can feel and hear his unmodulated breathing against your cheek.

“Tell me to stop.” His voice is honey, sweet and smooth, and you would do just about anything he asked of you as long as he spoke to you like that, but you can’t tell him to stop. This is what you’ve wanted every day you’ve sat in that stupid cockpit, in that tiny chair sharing snippets of your life with a man in a mask, this is the one thing you cant take for yourself, and now that hes giving it to you, you’re not sure anything would make you tell him to stop. You feel him move closer and his lips brush yours, his breathing is uneven, and it makes you feel a little calmer knowing hes as nervous as you are. “Say something.”

You don’t say anything, but your actions speak louder than any words you couldn’t form. You snake your arm around his neck letting your fingers thread through his hair. Its soft and slightly damp, and you can feel the curls bouncing against your movement. You press him into you, your lips finally touching. He groans, and you want to capture the sound, bathe in it, tattoo it on your skin. Your movements are slow, still unsure, but once you relax your body against his, he takes control, stepping you into the wall behind you and kissing you; hard.

He kisses you like your fuelling him; and you want to be whatever he needs. You let him guide you, allowing him to take whatever he needs and more. With your eyes still obscured you can only think of his lips on yours and how his hands move you ever so slightly, pushing and sliding you against his armoured body. The movement drives you crazy, dragging another moan from your throat, and he takes the opportunity of your open mouth to slide his tongue in, moving it expertly with yours, moulding together in slow, desperate movements.

You are both breathing heavily, but you would rather kiss until you pass out than remove his touch from you. His ungloved hand slides away from your face and wraps around your back, and you hear the rip of something like Velcro, and then material drops to the floor next to you. Instinctively you move your head to look down, but then two bare hands grab your face, keeping you still as he continues to kiss you: deeper than before.

He pulls away, only so your lips aren’t touching, but you can still feel him close to you, bodies heaving against one another. You chase his lips with your own, but he pulls back, pressing his forehead to yours but pulling his chin away, and you are suddenly anxious hes regretting what happened. He asked you to speak and you just grabbed him and kissed him. You wait, trying to catch your breath, the shirt over your eyes suddenly feeling tight and constricting. You feel him move one hand from your face, and two fingers slide inside your mouth.

Your suddenly glad for the blindfold, because your eyes practically roll back into your head at the feeling of him inside your mouth. He tastes salty and sweet at the same time, everything you’ve tasted before dull and lifeless in comparison to him. Sliding them out halfway, then back in, allowing you to roll your tongue over them, eager to please. He groans again, further back in his throat this time, you can tell because the pitch is lower and its rougher, closer to a growl. He begins to slide them out, dragging over your bottom lip and wetting your chin.

“So fucking good for me.” He says, his sweet tone minced with the dirty words nearly makes you finish then and there. He slowly drags his hand down between the valley of your breasts, down your stomach and stops just above the hem of your pants. You shudder as you take a breath in. He kisses just beside your ear and you lean your head into his, almost nuzzling him.

“I need you to tell me what you want.” You’re not sure if you can string together a cohesive sentence right now, with his hand resting against the lower part of your tummy, still damp from being in your mouth moments ago. His touch is feather soft, and with the strength you know lie behind those hands, it only adds fuel to the fire building underneath his touch. He kisses your jaw again, waiting.

“Please- I-“ you take the hand that was resting on his belt and use it to gently push his hand down, but hes too strong, and with little resistance his hand remains still.

“I want to hear it. Tell me what you want me to do to you.” You nearly whine out of desperation. Your cheeks heat up in embarrassment, but the fact that your eyes are covered gives you the confidence to choke out a sentence, probably the dirtiest one you’ve ever said in your life.

*****

“Fuck, please t- touch me. Please.” Your words are not as confident as you would want, your voice it full of shuddering breaths and whines, but you’ve never been more sure of anything. Apparently, it’s enough to get him to move, at least, as his hand finally slips below your waistline.

Your gasp fills the room, and he kisses your neck softly, switching to the neglected side. It feels like forever before his hand travels the small distance between the hem of your pants and the part of you that has been aching for him for what feels like years. You can’t help the cry that comes out of your mouth when he touches you, your forehead falling forward on his shoulder. He moves slow, controlled, and it is so like him that your head spins. His teeth graze slightly against your collarbone, and he slips one finger inside of you, his thumb continuing to circle in slow, tight circles around your clit.

“So fuckin’ tight baby. Just like I imagined.” You’re practically panting now, mouth open, hands clawing at his hair and down his beskar-laid back. His mouth comes back up to kiss you, both of your mouths open, the kiss all teeth and desperation. Everything he does feels amplified, and when he pulls your bottom lip between his teeth and tugs on it, you realise how close you are.

His finger curls inside of you, hitting exactly where you need him to.

“Mand- Im gonna cum.” You try to say as he goes back to worshipping your neck and jaw.

“I know, baby. I got you. Cum for me.” If you weren’t close, his words push you over the edge and your vision suddenly returns for a split second, a blast of white shoots across your covered eyes, and you feel the most intense sensation erupt in your core. You say his name as you come undone on his hand, your body jolting in his grasp as he whispers in your ear, mumbling praises – ‘so good’, ‘so pretty’. He never stops moving his fingers, maintaining his pace the whole way through.

You begin to come back to reality when you feel him pull out of you, dragging your wetness back up your stomach. Your jaw drops open slightly, expecting, and you hear him make a noise – muffled.

“God. Taste so fucking sweet.” He says. 

Taste? 

You realise when his mouth meets yours and you taste something unfamiliar mixed with what you now know he tastes like what he must have been doing, and you suddenly feel like your back on the edge again. The image of the clean, calm Mandalorian licking his fingers for the taste of you is something that you will imagine for the rest of your life.

He continues to kiss you, and you never want to stop. 

The hiss of the chamber door, however, is probably the only thing that would make you tear yourself away from him. And when you do hear it, followed by a tiny little giggle you've heard millions of times by now, you dont need to look up to know that Grogu has come out of his little bed.

When his hands leave you its difficult not to whimper at the loss of touch, and he bends to pick up the child, and ascend up the stairs without saying another word.

*****

taglist

@avatarkanemi

@fishthemenace​

@razzle-my-berries​ 

@im-a-slut-for-fluff​ 

@solomonssimp​ 

[dimpledcherry]

Mechanic!Eddie Headcanons

except this time he had a partner!!! 

‘Can I read the previous parts’ you ask? ‘Show them the tapes, You honour!’ I bellow:  Part 1 Part 2

(( Ohmy! lookie here... An Eddie Masterlist! ))

*cracks knuckles* lesss-mfing-gooooo

✁ he has his own work station, so slung into multiple drawers are photos of you both, your staple lippy, some hair bands that are actually yours but he says are his

✁ the photos definitely range from cute candid hill top picnic dates right down to pure unadulterated filth... cuffs, hands, bruises, body fluids...

✁ he absolutely loves you visiting him on his breaks

✁ you meet up outside the garage, him sitting on his bonet always smoking a ciggie, legs dangling out -> you job is to bring the lunch

✁ lunch is always some form of left over hearty family meal you had from the night before -> a cold roast / fresh Mac n cheese / fajitas 

✁ Eddie gives me vibes of a good cucumber sandwich lover ---> he can never deicide if yous or Waynes are better tho 

✁ when you join him for lunch, he’ll always take an extra 10 minute longer break 

✁ he will always tell you about the things he’s fixed that day - even if you don’t understand:

“Oh! Dave - yakno the guy in the corner shop, sells cigs to the kids, weird head shape, looks a little too pale to be healthy? Yeah! Right! Him. Well he come in, and I don’t think ive heard a car scream for help as much as that thing! His cambelt was ruined- practically non existent!”

You nodding along as best as you could, getting completely stupped on one word “Cambelt?”

“Sits in the engine, literally looks like a belt. makes the car move. like so when you press a pedal, the car moves smoothly. makes a little pour noise when it’s old.” He lists, pulling a finger out with each sentence, and making a purring / clicking sound with his tongue at the end. 

You nod. He immediately regains his enthusiasm, spiking his posture up, “Well, that! It was finished! Y/n, sweetheart, if a car could cry tears, she was sobbing. I’m actually surprised it still drove!”

✁ Sometimes if you were bored you'd surprise him and just come down to sit with him through his shift. 

✁ that’d mean you’d either be keeping him company while he spoke in car to you mostly rambling to himself, you’d get to be his little tool passing slave, you’d get to offload your drama and personal stress while he was head deep in an engine ✁ “Sweethearrrttt, you know you love me?” *queue the Eddie Munson butter-wouldn’t-melt grin*

“What do you want me to get?”

“a round headed screwdriver and 3 screws, top draw on the left.”

“you’re lucky I love you, munson”

✁ oh my god- TELL ME HE WOULDN’T TEACH YOU HOW TO DO SOMETHING?!

✁ like change a tail light or something so small and delicate 

✁ he’d froth at the mouth teaching you!! leant up behind you, guiding you hands around the place, if you got oil on them, you’d just rub them over his uniform like it was nothing AND HE’D GO CRAZZZZYY

✁ None of you can’t convince that you wouldn’t be there enough for the other boys to love having you around too!!

✁ STOP- wait one of the younger lads didn’t know you were Eddie’s partner and kinda sorta had an infactuation for you and totally learnt the hard way you were taken..

✁ yes I am talking about Eddie catching some sort of wind about this and like brutally and almost totally unexpectedly throwing you against something and just kissing the breath out your lungs. 

✁ Maybe you’re telling him about your day and the kid walks on the floor, Eddie catches him looking over and he just.. in milliseconds goes from kneeling on the ground changing a tire cap to having you pinning to the bench you were sat on, lips lost in his !!

✁ I imagine if you enjoy an oil stained, gasoline smelling Eddie, he’d relish in it. Like you’ve just met him on the floor and you just kinda flat line for a moment as the vibe / smell / aura of him just drowns you. He obbbbviously knows so he just stands there googley eye staring at you with this stupid smug smile. 

✁ little does he know your knees are weak! your tummy is a home for all the worlds butterflies! you could get on your knees and not get up for a week whenever he’s like this

[leossmoonn]

Play Ground Days

masterlist

pairing - carl gallagher x fem!reader

type - fluff

note / request - “ughh FINALLY someone that writes good imagines abt carl from shameless! could you write one where you two grew up together and you've always been close n stuff and then at some point he realizes he loves the reader and he talks to ian and lip (maybe mickey too bc i love him) about it? (fem!reader btw if that's cool) thanks babe xx” thanks for inspo on the beginning @poesflygirl​ <3 ,,, carl and you are 16 also pls dont come for me ive only played COD 2 times last year so lmao i dont remember a lot about it, enjoy!

summary - carl has liked you since you two were young, and seeks advice from his brothers and mickey

warnings - strong language, drugs and alcohol, little talk about bad body imagine 

————

*gif isnt mine*

“I fucking knew it!” Lip exclaimed.

“Why are you telling us? We’ve known this.” Ian commented, smirking at his little brother.  

“How the hell—” Carl started. 

“You’re not exactly great at hiding your crush on her,” Mickey chuckled. 

Carl’s eyes were the size of saucers. “You knew?”

“Of course I did. I’m not fucking Helen Keller,” Mickey rolled his eyes. 

Carl groaned and ran his hands roughly through his hair. “I can’t believe this. Well, secret’s out, I guess. What do I do?”

“Just go tell her you like her. It’s not like she’s going to turn you down.” Lip shrugged, putting his cigarette to his lips. 

“Lip!” Ian hit his brother’s shoulder. 

“What?” Lip asked. 

“You weren’t supposed to say that, dumbass,” Mickey said.

 “What does that mean?” Carl asked, looking in-between his brother’s and Mickey. 

Lip sighed. “Ah, shit, right. I’ve already said too much.”

————

4 hours earlier: 2:00 PM

“Hey, shit head!” She called out, throwing rocks against the window. 

Carl got up from his bed, shocked but happy to see her. He opened his window, leaning against the frame. 

“What’re you doing here?” He asked.

She threw the rocks to the ground. “Escaping from my druggie dad, duh. What’re you doing?”

“Nothing,” Carl shrugged. 

She did her signature smirk that always made Carl’s heart flutter. “Wanna go and stuff our faces at Patsy’s Pies?”

Carl’s eyes lit up at the mention of fatty, greasy food. “Hell yeah. I’ll come down.”

She nodded, going to the front of their house. Carl ran down the stairs, putting on his shoes and opening the door to find her on the steps. 

“Hey, why didn’t you just come into the house?” Carl asked, shutting the door behind him. 

“Putting damage on your window seemed more fun. Oh, hey! Do you have an extra bed I can sleep in tonight?” She asked. 

Carl nodded. “Yeah, of course. Your dad is that bad, huh?”

“Yep, he relapsed. Super fun,” she laughed sarcastically. 

“I’m sorry. That shit sucks,” Carl said.

She shrugged. “Yeah, well, it’s life. Anyways, ready to go?”

Carl nodded. They got into her car, the girl starting it and driving fast to the dinner. As she was driving, humming to the songs on the radio, Carl stared at her. She was absolutely gorgeous. 

Her name was Y/n L/n. Carl’s oldest and only real friend. They had grown up together, Y/n living only a few houses away from him. They had met in detention in 1st grade and had been close ever since. 

“What’re you staring at?” Y/n asked, glancing over to him. 

Carl blushed. “Nothing.”

“Alright,” Y/n sang.

Carl had often been caught staring at her. It was something he usually did from time to time, but now it was more often. He couldn’t help it. There was something about her. Maybe flawless her skin was, how pretty and bright her smile and eyes were, the way she would make him feel secure and loved, something he had never got from anyone consitently. 

He never really knew why he thought those things about her. People had told him that he probably had a crush on her, but he knew that wasn’t right. He had crushes on girls before and the things he was feeling for Y/n were a lot different than what he had felt for his past girlfriends. He figured it was just that she was his closest friend and he happened to be a horny teenager, so naturally, he just thought those things about her. But oh, how wrong he actually was. 

Y/n parked her car at Patsy’s Pies. They walked into the diner, seeing Fiona at the register. 

“Hey, Fi,” Y/n smiled. 

“Hey, Y/n, Carl! Long time, no see. How are ya?” Fiona asked. 

“Good, good,” Y/n smiled. 

“Good,” Carl said. 

“Great! Well, get yourself seated and someone will be right with you,” she smiled. 

Y/n and walked off to a small booth and sat down. They picked up the menus that were already on the table. 

“You gonna get your usual?” Y/n asked. 

Carl shrugged. “Maybe. Should I change it up?”

“Yes. The double bacon cheeseburger looks good,” Y/n said. 

“Are you getting that?” Carl asked. 

“Maybe. I’ll probably get a salad or something. Gotta watch those calories, you know?” She half-joked, putting a hand on her stomach. 

“I think you look good. You don’t need to worry,” Carl smiled. 

Y/n’s eyes widened. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Carl nodded. 

Y/n looked back at the menu, hiding her embarrassment.

Carl complimenting her was something that was rare, but did happen. Y/n never remembered Carl as a romantic type of guy, but it seems that he had developed  those traits from having a few girlfriends. She liked that, actually. She liked him complimenting her, staring at her for minutes at a time, the way his ears would turn red when she teased him. She liked all of that. 

Y/n would never admit it to anyone, but she had a crush on Carl. She had a crush on him since their freshman year of high school. Well, in reality, she probably has always had one, but the first time she really realised she liked him was in biology when he got in trouble in one of the labs. She remembered when the teacher was yelling at him and he looked at her, smiling at her mischievously and winking at her. That wink had her heart racing and mind go foggy. From then on, she had liked him as more than a friend. Yet, she never said anything because well, as cliche as it was, she was afraid of ruining their friendship. He was really the only one who got her and who never abandoned her. She couldn’t lose him, so she just kept her feelings and gestures to him as friendly as she could.  

“Hi, I’m Carly and I’ll be serving you today. What can I get you today?” The waitress asked. 

“Hi, can I get the philly cheesesteak with a medium coke and fries,” Carl ordered. 

Carly nodded and wrote his order down, turning to Y/n. 

“Um, I’ll get the bacon cheeseburger with a small sprite and fries. Thanks,” Y/n ordered. 

Carly took their menus. “Great. I’ll have your drinks out soon.”

Y/n and Carl smiled at the waitress as she walked away. 

“Hey, so I thought your dad was in rehab,” Carl said. 

Y/n sighed. “He was, but I guess his girlfriend got him drunk, then convinced him to do some lines. God, I can’t believe he's even with her still.”

Carl frowned. “What about your mom? Where’s she?”

“She’s going to nursing school right now. She’s the only one responsible in this family, yet she never calls or anything,” she scoffed.

“You’re really responsible,” Carl said. 

Y/n smiled. “Thanks, C. You are, too.”

Carl laughed, “Me? I sold drugs on the streets once.”

She giggled. “True. But you’ve really shaped. I'm proud.”

Carl smiled sheepishly. “Thanks.”

Y/n hummed a ‘you’re welcome’. Carly came back with their food quickly and they dug in. Carl and Y/n spent their time talking and eating, spending about 2 hours there as they just kept talking. 

“Are you two finished?” Carly asked, gesturing to their empty plates. 

“Yeah,” Carl nodded. 

“Great. Here’s your bill, pay whenever you’re ready,” Carly smiled and took their dirty dishes. 

“Ready to go?” Y/n asked. 

Carl nodded and got out his wallet that he had in his shorts. Meanwhile, Y/n also got out her wallet. They both looked up at each other, awkward expressions on their faces. 

“Oh, I was gonna pay,” Carl said. “No, no, my treat. I invited you here,” Y/n said. 

“You sure?” Carl asked. 

She smiled and put a hand on his arm. “Yes, I am, Carl.”

Butterflies irrupted in Carl’s stomach as she touched him. He nodded slowly, putting his credit card away. Y/n and him walked up to the register and paid for their meal. They then went back to Y/n car. 

“What do you wanna do now?” Y/n asked. 

“Wanna play COD Black Ops 3?” Carl asked. 

“Yes!” Y/n smiled. She drove them back to his house, parking haphazardly on the street. 

The two hurried into the house, grabbing a seat on the couch. Carl got the controllers, turning onto the playstation. Y/n logged onto her account, selecting the gun she wanted to use. Carl then started the game. 

“Where are you?” Y/n squinted her eyes at the screen. 

“Right behind you,” Carl smirked. 

Y/n turned around, gasping as Carl shot her. 

“Fuck you!” Y/n exclaimed. 

“Little rusty, huh?” Carl teased. She rolled her eyes. “I’m gonna kill you next round.”

“I’d like to see you try,” Carl said. 

“Winner gets to pick what’s for dinner,” Y/n said. 

“Deal,” Carl nodded. 

The pair played for a couple hours, the game ending with Y/n getting the last kill. 

“Good game,” she smirked, setting the controller down. 

“I forgot how good you were at this,” Carl frowned. Y/n giggled, “I forgot how bad you were.”

Carl rolled his eyes with a smile. “Alright, where do you want to eat?”

“Hm… Noodles n Company?” She suggested. 

“Sure,” Carl nodded. 

“Alright, I’m gonna use the bathroom and then order. Text me what you want,” Y/n said, getting up from the couch. 

Carl nodded and watched her go upstairs to use the bathroom. Then that’s when Lip, Ian, and Mickey all came into the house. 

“Hey, guys,” Carl said. 

“Hey,” Ian smiled. 

“Is Y/n here? We saw her car out front,” Lip said. “Yeah, she is,” Carl nodded. 

“Asked her out yet?” Lip smirked. Carl’s face turned red. “Wh-What?”

“Oh, you’re not in love with her then?” Ian furrowed his brows. 

“I… am I?” Carl asked. 

Ian chuckled. “Yeah. You always are always happy around her, blush whenever she teases you.”

“And you’re always staring at her,” Lip added.

“That doesn’t mean I like her,” Carl said.

“Do feel dizzy and nauseous when she touches you? Does your heart race when she gets close? Do you see yourself kissing her? Would you do anything for her?” Ian asked. 

Carl furrowed his brows. They were right, all those things did happen when she was near. She was his best friend. He also sometimes think about kissing her and being with her in a romantic way. And yeah, of course he would do anything for her. Maybe… Maybe he did love her. 

“Oh, shit,” he muttered. “I… I guess I am in love with her.”

And that, ladies and gents, is where we left off. Lip, Ian, and Mickey teased Carl until Carl begged them for real help. 

“What do you mean?” Carl asked anxiously. 

Lip looked to Ian and Mickey for help on what to say. Little did Carl know, Y/n actually did admit her crush to someone. And that someone, or someones, were Lip, Ian, and Mickey. 

“Don’t worry about it, man,” Mickey said. 

“Did she say something to you?” Carl asked. “No,” Ian shook his head. “Like Mick said, don’t worry.”

“I… fine. Well, what do I do then?” Carl asked in slight distress.

“Give her some flowers and chocolate. Girls love that shit,” Lip suggested. 

“Alright,” Carl nodded. “I don’t know what her favourite flowers are, though.”

“Just get her roses. That’s really romantic,” Lip said. 

Carl smiled, “Alright. Awesome. Thanks, guys.”

He decided to get the flowers early morning tomorrow before Y/n woke up. 

————

Carl sneaked back into the house, hoping not to wake Y/n up. As he walked into the kitchen, he was shocked to see her at the table drinking coffee. 

“Hey, Carl!” Y/n smiled. 

Carl’s eyes were blown wide. “I.. uh…”

“Who are those for?” Y/n got up and pointed to the flowers and chocolate in his hand. 

“Um… you?” Carl said. Y/n smiled. “Me? What did I do to deserve this?”

Carl knew that he couldn’t make up an excuse. He was horrible at lying to her. So, he decided to just have his confession here. 

“I.. I’m in love with you,” Carl said. Y/n’s jaw dropped and she froze. “Wha-What?”

“My brothers and Mickey helped me realise I was yesterday when you were ordering dinner. They told me I should get you flowers and stuff so I did. I hope you like roses,” Carl explained and held up the gifts. 

Y/n’s lips upturned in a wide smile. “How long have you liked me?”

“Honestly, probably since we were little,” Carl shrugged sheepishly. 

Y/n giggled. “Me, too.”

“Really?” Carl smiled. 

Y/n waked up to him and took the gifts, setting them on the kitchen counter. She went up to him and put her arms around his neck. 

“Yep. I always have,” she grinned. 

“Oh, sick!” Carl exclaimed. “Oh wait.”

“What?” Y/n asked in confusion. 

“That’s what they meant!” Carl exclaimed in realisation.

“Who? What?” “Oh, Lip, Mickey, and Ian kind of told me yesterday when I asked for help,” Carl explained. 

Y/n’s eyes widened and she turned to the stairs, glaring. “Mickey, Lip, Ian! You better fucking run!”  

————

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[whatifyoulivelikethat]

calculated ii, m | jjk

pairing(s): jungkook x reader

summary: You pride yourself in being cool, calm, and collected... and then Jeon Jungkook knocks you down a peg. Well, you’re still the head Calculus I TA. The noona. The responsible one. The one who would definitely not misunderstand a situation and then end up fucking in a stairwell... right?

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; intense smut (fem reader, semi-public sex, nipple play, tit slapping, fingering, wall fucking, dirty talk); jealousy; fluff; non-idol!AU - university!AU; dom!Jungkook x sub!noona!reader, ft instigator Jimin again, lol

--

part i | part ii | part iii | part iv

-

You weren't a jealous person by nature. 

Mostly because you had no tolerance for lying, dishonesty, or deceit. In the off chance an ex cheated on you, you dropped them like hot coal and moved on, easily, without so much as a text. Was that the best way to end a relationship? Definitely not, but you did it anyway. 

It got you a notorious reputation, to say the least. 

So, why, as you're collecting the latest Calculus I exam and students are rushing down the steps to run to their next class, were you absolutely fuming as you spy Jeon Jungkook, tongue between his teeth, talking to a girl who looked like she was going to pass out from arousal by being in his vicinity? Why was your blood boiling, knuckles turning white as you clutch the obscenely thick stack of paper, your only thought being, I'm going to fail this fucking punk ass bitch, just you fucking wait–

"Do you need help?"

You turned your head sharply, missing Jungkook's teasing gaze as Kim Namjoon held his hands out, giving you a sheepish smile. Namjoon was the head Calculus III TA, but he was helping out today since the other Calculus I TAs couldn't make it. 

"No."

Namjoon's smile faltered. 

"Last time I let you carry these, you dropped them all."

Namjoon laughed sheepishly. "Ahahaha, yeah that did happen, huh?"

You felt bad for snapping at him. It wasn't Namjoon's fault Jungkook was an asshole. It was not Namjoon's fault Jungkook was looking like a goddamn meal in his untucked black dress shirt, ripped black jeans and heavy black boots, his long dark hair half-pinned back with a wispy curtain of black partly obscuring the right side of his face. Not that you cared. At all. You two fucked one time. One, very hot, very intense, very wild time during Calculus I office hours in this very math department building, a few floors above, just last week.

Did you have dreams about it?

...

You shook your head roughly, breaking out of your thoughts. "Come on. Let's go get some coffee. I'll buy," you said, softening your tone this time, grabbing your bag as you hoisted the stack with one arm. You began to walk out, Namjoon following you with his extra-thick backpack.

"I can help you grade. I have some time before my next class."

You laughed. "You, Kim Namjoon, double Literature and Music major and head TA for Calculus III and Physics II, have time?" you teased, seeing his ears turn red. 

He chuckled awkwardly as you two made your way to the vending machines. "Okay, I don't have the most time, maybe an hour, but there's a key, right? I'd like to help," he added cheerfully. "Since you're carrying it all."

You smiled and stopped in front of the vending machine, struggling to grab your wallet from the back pocket of your black skinny jeans. Your hands kept getting caught in the long sleeves of your cream sweater. You frowned, trying to balance everything. 

"Need help?" Namjoon asked, seeing your brows furrow. He reached for the stack of exams, but you pulled them away from his grasp. 

"No, no, I just can't get my wallet. It's in my back pocket."

"... Uh, I could pa–"

"Namjoon, it's an ass. Just take it out. I won't call the police."

He gave you a hesitant look, but you jerked your head impatiently.

"Fucking do it. You're making it weirder," you muttered.

He shrugged and yanked your black bifold wallet out of your back pocket. 

"Whatchu want?" You looked into the lit-up shelves, scanning. "Get me a green tea."

Namjoon opened your wallet to grab some bills. He raised his eyebrows. 

"I use the same brand myself."

"What?"

You turned your head to see him snickering, pointing to the condom in your wallet. You rolled your eyes at his immature reaction. 

"People get laid; get over it," you remarked coolly, but you were smiling anyway because Namjoon had cute dimples that made you laugh too.

He fed some money into the machine. "You should change it out every once in a while, though. Body heat can cause the latex to break down over time."

"I put it in there last week," you said absentmindedly, watching the green tea and the hot coffee Namjoon ordered plunk down. He raised his eyebrows again, but you gave him a pointed look and turned around, presenting your jean-covered butt.

"Put it back."

"What if I need a condom? Can I have it?" Namjoon sniggered.

"Put it back before I kick your ass," you shot back, turning your head to glare at him. A blur of black rushed past in your peripheral vision. Your eyes flickered to the direction of the movement at the same time Namjoon jammed your wallet in your pocket.

You turned back around, cocking your head into the direction of the offices. Namjoon carried the drinks, laughing behind you. 

"That would have been weird if anyone was around," he remarked to the deserted hallway. 

You shrugged. "Who hangs around the math department besides nerds like you and me?" you muttered, somewhat bitterly.

"Touché."

-

"You said you needed a ride," you muttered, watching Park Jimin stretch his legs out. It was already completely dark outside. Jimin always practiced such long hours that you often wondered if he slept. Did he even know what sleep was? The fine arts building was empty besides you two. 

"I do!" Jimin protested, going into a split that made your own crotch hurt, at least mentally. "But I have to cool down first. It's important!"

You sighed and slid down to the floor as Jimin did his routine. He hummed along as you stared at the bright lights on the ceiling. Your backpack was in the car. You played with the pink bunny keychain on your keys as you waited. 

"How did Jungkook go?" Jimin teased, tone playful.

You scowled in response.

"Ouch, that bad huh?" Jimin's head popped into your vision as he bent over backwards. "Does he have a bent dick or something?"

You rolled your eyes. "He's fine," you mumbled. "Just an asshole."

Jimin sat down, placing the soles of his feet together and pressing on his knees. They went all the way to the floor. You winced as you watched, but he seemed fine. 

"What'd he do?" 

You twisted your mouth to one side. "Doesn't matter. Don't care."

Jimin looked up. He gave you that look mothers give their children when they know they're lying. You relented, grumbling.

"Flirting around right in front of my face."

Jimin blinked at you. "I thought you guys were just fucking?"

You looked away to the mirror of the dance studio. "... We are just fucking. Did, rather."

"Are you jealous?" Jimin gasped in disbelief, scooting over to you gleefully, forgetting about his cool down. "You are!"

"I am not, Jimin. Shut up."

Jimin giggled. "Wow, one fuck and you're in lo–"

You spun around sharply and clapped a hand over his mouth, glaring at him. Jimin's eyes widened at your sudden reaction, blinking at you. You climbed to your knees, towering over him.

"Shut up, Jimin."

"The fuck is going on?"

The clear, silvery voice thundered across the dance studio practice room. You froze, whipping your head around to see Jungkook, in all-black, his pretty features twisted in rage, glaring at you and Jimin on the hardwood floor.

Fight? 

Or flight?

You scrambled to your feet and ran. Straight up bolted, right past Jungkook, not hearing him shout at Jimin, completely forgetting you were supposed to take him home.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Jungkook roared, advancing, shoulders shaking. 

"Nothing," Jimin snapped, getting to his feet. "Just like you, apparently. Look how fucking fast she ran from you!"

Jungkook grabbed Jimin's collar, shaking him forcefully. "The fuck are you talking about?" he growled, nearly spitting in Jimin's face. "She doesn't even like me, you idiot."

"You're the idiot," Jimin spat back, shoving him hard in the chest. "She literally just admitted to liking you right in front of me!"

Jungkook froze. "W-what?"

"She just now told me she was jealous because you were chatting up other girls," Jimin hissed, looking at him disdainfully. "I would have never helped you if you were going to treat her like a piece of meat."

Jungkook's face fell, anger crumbling into sudden comprehension. "I-I didn't..."

He turned away from Jimin, dropping his car keys as he chased after you, steps much faster and lighter than your erratic stumbling though the fine arts building, nearly tripping on the stairs. You were running so fast that you were making yourself winded, chest so tight you couldn't even breathe. 

Jimin sighed and picked up the fallen car keys. 

Jungkook jumped over the stair rail, making you recoil and spin around, running back up the stairs. He took them two at a time, slamming a hand against the wall to cut you off. You turned the other way and he stopped you there too, so you ducked under, trying to run. His strong arms grabbed you by the waist and dragged you back, struggling for dear life, hands clawing at the air. 

"Stop, stop," Jungkook was panting, but you started squirming against him instead, flattening your torso to try to slide out. He forcefully grabbed your shoulders and shoved you into the wall. You hissed in pain, seeing stars from your lack of oxygen and panic. He held you there, wheezing, grip so strong it almost hurt, as if he was afraid you would run away again. 

You felt wetness on your face. You started, touching your cheek. Tears blurred your vision. Jungkook lifted his head, his long black hair tousled and wild from chasing you and, even now, he was handsome. Even now, he made your heart stop. 

And then you realized that he, too, was crying. 

"J-Jimin..." Jungkook gasped. "Asked me to d-drive him home..."

You sobbed, trying to blink your tears away. "M-me too..."

Jungkook chuckled wetly despite the situation. 

"Hah... that bastard..."

You tried to twist away, but Jungkook pushed you into the wall with his chest. 

"D-don't..."

And now you were really crying now, so pathetic, so dumb, so stupid you wanted to crawl into a hole and hide, hide your face and your feelings and pretend they didn't exist. 

"Don't..." 

Jungkook's deep voice vibrated your torso as you furiously wiped your face with the sleeves of your cream sweater, stuffing your eyes with the fluffy material, trying to press them away.

"Don't cry, noona... I can't take it..."

And then he was kissing you, soft kisses on your tears, dripping his own onto your cheeks, and then your lips were on his, so full, so nice, so right, your arms wrapping around his neck, pulling him closer. Everything way too fucking wet, but it didn't matter because his tongue was against yours and you were sucking on it, shivering, whimpering his name, trying not to be pitiful, but what were you supposed to do when he made you feel this way, like you wanted to die in his arms right now? 

He whispered your name too, so softly, so desperately that you thought it was just a dream, but he had you against the wall, hands sliding up your sweater, onto your skin, so warm, stroking it and pressing his fingers into your waist, so familiar, teeth nipping at your lower lip.

"J-Jungkook..." you choked out. "We're in the middle of the stairway in the fucking f-fine arts building..."

"Don't care," he murmured, unhooking your bra, his dark hair brushing against your face. You gasped as his palms covered your already hard nipples, his moan against your lips. "Have to remind you you're mine."

He kissed your face again, massaging your breasts, resting his cheek against yours, letting you feel his smile. You closed your eyes, trying to even your breathing.

"Hah... I'm so ugly right now," you mumbled, cursing your weakness, frustrated that only a single meeting with Jeon Jungkook could turn you into this. You didn't believe in stars aligning or any of that romantic bullshit. But the instant Jeon Jungkook pressed his body against yours, you fucking knew. You absolutely knew there was no other body for you, no other body you wanted to dream about, no other person you wanted to touch, no one else you wanted but Jeon Jungkook to force you to your knees and make you look at him, pulling on your nipples, whines leaving your throat as he yanked on them, your own hands pushing your sweater and bra up so he could stare at your body and watch how he ruined you, turning your nipples pink with abuse.

Were you crazy? Probably. 

Jungkook spread his legs, leaning down, dark hair half-obscuring his face, lips parting.

"So beautiful, noona..." he breathed, swallowing hard. "You're the only one for me."

You scoffed at his words, hastily wiping your eyes. He pulled at your nipples hard, twisting them and making you yelp in pain. 

"Look at me when I speak to you," Jungkook commanded, raw and deep. Voice strained from crying, but his eyes remained dark, flint-like, shaded by his long hair. His eyes traveled down your body, to your knees against the floor, to your nipples straining in his fingertips, to your shaking hands holding up your sweater, to your face, your icy glare rippling through your drying tears. He drew in a long breath, making you wait for him. 

"There is no one else," he growled firmly above you, staring into your eyes, right at your soul. "Absolutely no one. I don't care if they're ripping off their clothes and throwing themselves at me, I will always pick you over them. I will always want you over them. I will always, always desire you under me above all others."

You chuckled darkly, feeling his grip tighten. 

"We fucked once, Jungkook. Once," you muttered bitterly. He pinched your nipples sharply and you sucked in a breath, wetness pooling in your panties. 

"Once is enough," he replied firmly. "Once is enough to know there is no other human being on Earth for me."

Maybe you were both crazy. 

He yanked your nipples harder this time. Your body jerked in pain, pressing your thighs together to get some relief. 

"Get up."

You got up shakily, with his gentle pulls in your nipples, wincing. Jungkook removed his hands and you sighed in relief, only to be silenced as he pushed up the sleeves of his black dress shirt, breathless as you saw his shapely forearms, the right covered in tattoos. He pressed his right forearm against your collarbone and you released your sweater as he held it up.

"Hands on the arm."

You placed your hands on his forearm, one on his wrist and the other just under his elbow. 

"Look at me."

Your eyes flickered up at him. Part of his hair covered his right eye. The rest of his forehead was exposed, brows furrowed, brown eyes intensely on you. His chiseled jaw clenched, lips so pink and pretty you wanted them on you. Your chest was completely exposed, your red nipples hard and poking out in the cold air. 

Then he slapped your tits with his own palm. 

You gasped sharply, skin stinging, nails digging into his skin. The sound rang in the empty staircase. Your knees shook, panties wetter than before. 

"Who is he?"

You swallowed, blinking rapidly. Your nipples prickled with pain but all you could think about was wanting more. "Who?" you croaked.

He smacked you again, right on the other nipple, and you bit your tongue, head pushing into the wall behind you, hissing. Fuck. He wasn't hitting you very hard, but he had a huge palm, expanding the surface area of the sting.

"The guy who touched your ass without my permission," Jungkook snarled, flicking your nipple hard. 

Your eyelids fluttered, knees buckling. Fuck. So good. You clutched into Jungkook's arm, panting. His arm was like iron, unmoving. 

"Namjoon?" you replied, confused. "H-he was just getting my wallet."

Jungkook narrowed his eyes. Then he raised an eyebrow and his hand, slowly spanking your tits, making sure to hit your swollen, aching nipples each time, getting you wetter and wetter with each slap. 

"He wants to fuck you," Jungkook hissed into your face. 

You were moaning far too loud, rubbing your knees together, your soaked panties bunching up in your jeans as Jungkook continued, his nails gazing your flesh, leaving red marks and pink skin in his wake. 

"B-but I don't want to fuck h-him..." you managed to get out in between your moans.

Jungkook pressed his palm flat against one of your breasts and rubbed hard. Your eyes rolled back in your head, nipple throbbing with pain as he forced it around and around. 

"Really?" he sneered, putting his face close to yours as he released your breast and moved to the other, placing his nail on it, scratching lightly. Your hips bucked and a desperate whimper fell from your lips. "Who do you want to fuck then?"

Your eyes locked with his, his impossibly dark, reigning eyes. 

"Only you."

He pinched your nipple, hard. You wailed, almost falling, but he held you firm. 

"Say my name."

So deep. So in control. 

"Only you, Jungkook."

He dropped his right arm and roughly pinched both your nipples, silencing your scream with a suffocating kiss, his clothed chest ramming into your torso. You groaned into his mouth as the rough fabric of his dress shirt touched your sensitive nipples, whimpering as he removed his hands to hold yours. Held them tight as he shoved his tongue into your mouth, thrusting into it, fucking it as if it was his cock. You took it all, fingers intertwining with his, whole body shivering. 

He pulled your hands up to his chest, breaking apart for a second. 

"Take it off," he panted impatiently. "Need your skin on mine."

You fumbled with the tiny buttons, far too small with how hazy your head was right now. You were rapidly losing your temper, finally just shoving your fingers into the placket and ripping it apart, causing the black buttons to fling everywhere. You pushed the sides of the dress shirt aside, sucking in a breath seeing his toned chest and abs, wrapping your arms around his waist and pulling him to you, pressing his hot skin against yours, moaning as your abused nipples touched his chest. Jungkook was chuckling, looking at the fallen buttons.

“Are you going to pick those up later?” he asked, amused.

“No,” you snapped.

“Someone will know.”

“You obviously don’t care.”

Jungkook laughed, rumbling and sexy and so very wonderful. “I most certainly do not.”

He let you press your cheek against his collarbones, hands splayed on his back. Tracing his muscles, chest heaving from too many emotions and too much running. You ran your nails down his back. His breathing hitched and he placed a large hand on your head.

“Were you jealous?” he purred, petting your hair. “Because I was talking to that girl after class? Is that why you ran off with that Namjoon guy? To make me jealous too?”

“No,” was your haughty, tight reply.

He hummed. “Really?”

His hand slid down, down your shoulder and to your bare skin. He dug his nails into the small of your back, raking them up. You whimpered, clinging to him tighter. His head dipped low against your ear, voice dropping several octaves.

“Because I was very, very jealous,” Jungkook growled, teeth snapping, every word rousing your lust. “All I could think about all day was how to punish you. My beautiful, slutty noona.”

You sunk your nails into his back, snarling right back.

“It’s your own fault for being so fucking hot that every single person who encounters you has a full-blown orgasm every time they see you, you punk ass bitch.”

You didn’t have to see his face to know he was grinning. “You didn’t. You told me to leave.”

“You didn’t know what was going on in my pants,” you shot back.

“I found out, didn’t I?”

Was it possible to want to choke someone while also wanting to be choked by them? Because that’s how you felt right now, listening to Jeon Jungkook’s stupid, sexy, smug voice in your ear.

“Shut up.”

You felt Jungkook’s body stiffen. Slowly, slowly, he backed up, out of your grasp, his hands leaving your back. You frowned, narrowing your eyes. There was a darkness in his, glaring down at you through his lashes. His lips were slightly parted, no longer smiling. You didn’t waver. His hand came up and took your chin, grip tightening into your cheeks until it was uncomfortable, tipping your head back into the wall. Lips hovering over yours, so close that he could kiss you, but he wasn’t doing it.

“Okay.”

The affirmation made your blood run cold with his unforgiving tone. He placed his lips on yours, but instead of kissing you, he breathed into your mouth, a hot, erotic stream right into the back of your throat, forcing yours back, making you inhale him. You moaned softly, but he retreated just as fast, hooking one arm around you, arching your back forcefully.

“J-Jungkook, what–”

Then he latched his lips onto one of your nipples, flicking it with his tongue, his hand around you rubbing the other as the other gripped the button of your jeans, popping it open. You cried out, hitting your head on the wall, bruising yourself as he yanked the zipper down, shoving his hand under your panties into your tight-jeans. Your nipples for far too sensitive to take more pain and yet Jungkook gave it to you, sucking and rubbing them simultaneously as he shoved one, two fingers into your slopping wet pussy, your moans echoing in the stairway as you stared up, head throbbing. Shocks of pain and pleasure traveled throughout your body, and still he shoved a third finger into you. Your body jerked, trying to spread your legs to accommodate him but your jeans were too tight and he was fucking you too hard, each thrust raising you to your tiptoes. He didn’t even have to stimulate your nipples anymore – they were just rubbing against his teeth and hand by the sheer force of him fingering you.

“A-ah, J-Jungkook, please…” you groaned, grinding into his hand, biting your lower lip hard to try and be a little quieter. “P-please, it’s t-too much...”

His eyes flickered up to you, glaring. You told me to shut up, they said.

“I’m s-sorry…” you panted out, gritting your teeth. “P-please…”

Jungkook detached his mouth, curling his lip. Hand leaving your nipple, tangling into your hair. “Are you really sorry, noona?” he drawled, yanking your head back and exposing your neck. “Are you?”

You whimpered, nodding tightly, his hand still in your hair, forcing you to tug on your own.

“Y-yes, Jungkook,” you breathed, feeling him release your hair. “I’m sorry…”

He smiled at you, an icy smile.

“That’s good.”

You felt him yank your pants down with his free hand, shoving them down to your knees. You almost tripped, but Jungkook grabbed your ass, fingertips digging into you so hard you were sure they would leave marks. He yanked you up, shoving a knee between yours and forcing your legs open. Your eyes went wide, his three fingers flexing inside you. His dark eyes boring into yours, a slow smirk forming on his lips.

“I’m still going to put another finger in you.”

He shoved a fourth into you, forcefully, and now nearly his entire hand was fucking you, pounding you into the wall. Your arms flew up to wrap around his shoulders, desperately holding on as he filled you, pushing his fingers against your walls. You gasped, clenching around his fingers, and Jungkook grinned, watching your face as he pushed you to the edge, feeling so stretched out, so embarrassingly wet that the sounds of your pussy were louder than your noises.

“Fuck, your pussy sounds so sexy,” Jungkook groaned. “Listen to that dirty pussy suck in my fingers, so fucking desperate for my cock.”

You shoved your head against the wall and squeezed your eyes shut, legs straining as you came, muscles spasming and the moan of his name racking through you, your throat already hoarse. He ripped his hand out of you and slapped your clit. Your knees buckled and you whined loudly as he gripped your ass with one wet and one dry hand, spreading it forcefully, pressing you against the wall.

“Take one leg out of your jeans,” Jungkook snarled.

You winced, pussy throbbing, giving him a what-the-fuck look.

“Do it.” He was not going to repeat himself.

You awkwardly kicked one of your sneakers off, untangling your right leg out of your pants. Now you were mostly naked in the fucking stairway with an almost shirtless Jungkook towering over you. Your poor sock fluttered to the floor, lost due to the tight ankle of your skinny jeans.

Jungkook grabbed your calf and pushed it up and out, effectively forcing you to stand on one leg.

“Jungkook, what–”

He hissed, staring at your glistening, puffy, red pussy lips, your hole opening and closing from the aftershocks of your orgasm.

“Fuck,” he muttered. “Fuck.”

Jungkook leaned you back into the wall, snaking his hand between your legs, moaning with you as he touched your swollen clit. Slow, languid, deliberate, rubbing your clit in circles, melting you, your eyelids fluttering closed at his sudden sweet movements.

“Wanna fuck you just like this,” Jungkook breathed, inhaling your scent. “Just like this, against the wall, in this fucking stairway, your leg around my waist.” He pressed harder, earning a wretched whimper. “Want someone to find us and see you bouncing on my cock, fucked out and screaming my name.”

Your legs trembled, trying to close, but he held them open, teasing you, drawing your next orgasm out of you, slow this time, building you into a frenzy.

“Just do it,” you gasped. “Just fucking do it.”

“I want to,” he hissed back, rubbing faster. “I didn’t bring a fucking condom.”

You chuckled despite yourself, hips shuddering into his hand. “Didn’t think you were going to fuck Jimin or something?”

Jungkook narrowed his eyes at you and pinched your clit. Instantly you yelped, your standing knee buckling, but his own slammed against yours, locking it in place. You gasped at the pain, your pussy clenching around nothing as he furiously rubbed your clit. Your insides curled and you gulped for air, feeling the pain and pleasure rise into a crescendo.

“What if I stop, noona?” Jungkook barked sharply. “Since you’re being such a fucking brat.”

You clenched your jaw, trying to push back your own orgasm, relishing in his anger.

“I have a condom,” you panted, giving him an open-mouthed smirk. “Keep one in my wallet now, j-just for you, Jungkook.”

You saw something in his eyes change, something between an amused sparkle and an agonizing lust.

“Is that so?” Jungkook purred, bringing his face close to yours. His breath lit your skin on fire, the tense knot closing in on you fast as he rubbed you even faster, so fast that it felt like a vibrator on your aching clit. “So, you can always be prepared for me? So, I can take you wherever, whenever I want?”

You bit your lip, nodding, eyes glazing over as the first wave crashed on you.

“Fuck yeeeeees, Jungkook, whatever you fucking want,” you moaned, back arching, legs shuddering, letting him rub you as your hips jerked. Viscous liquid dripping down your thighs, pussy pulsating wetly, hands flat against the wall. He was going to be the death of you, making you agree to such crazy things in the middle of your fucking orgasm.

Jungkook let go of your leg. You leaned against the wall, trying to catch your breath, pretty sure all this was going to get you expelled. Even if there was no one in the building, someone down the street probably heard you by now with how loud this was becoming. You heard rustling under you, Jungkook going through your pockets on the floor to find your wallet, pulling out the condom.

“You’re actually insane,” you panted, blinking slowly as you watched Jungkook unzip his jeans, shoving them down. “I can’t even stand.”

Fuck, even just him pulling out his half-hard cock was already getting you wet again. Jungkook smirked at you, seeing your eyes on him. He stroked the length slowly, running his large hand over it. You frowned at him, tapping your hand against the wall in annoyance.

“I’m giving you a break,” he murmured, staring at your body as he gripped his cock, pumping once. He gasped, breathing your name.

“At least let me touch it,” you pouted, not even sure how you were still upright. Just pure lust, apparently.

Jungkook looked at you through his lashes, lips parting, tongue darting between them. He thrust his hips into his hand. You stiffened, seeing his wanton, arrogant expression. He wasn’t going to let you touch it. He was going to make you watch, frustrated, as he stroked himself to full hardness.

“Jungkook…”

He cocked an eyebrow at you, rolling his body into his hand, moaning softly.

“Jungkook, please…”

His tongue danced between his lips, moving his hand up and down slowly, rocking his hips into his cock, enjoying your pleading tone, your hands clenching into fists, your body heaving at the loss of him.

“Jungkook, come on,” you whined, spreading your legs, watching the angry red head disappear and reappear in the curve of his fingers. “I want you. Please.”

He took a step towards you, still stroking himself. “Yeah?” he breathed. Another step. And another. He still didn’t tell you that you could touch him yet, so you kept your hands at your sides, switching between his dark, lustful eyes and his rapidly hardening cock thrusting into his hand. “You want me, noona? You want to touch my cock?”

And now Jungkook was right next to you, still jacking himself off, the velvety, thick head rubbing against the smooth skin of your thigh. You moaned as you felt his pre-cum smearing onto your skin, adding to his lubrication.

“Y-yes,” you whispered, eyes glued to his cock rubbing against your fucking leg. Fuck, you wanted it in your mouth so bad. “Let me touch you, Jungkook.”

He leaned forward, lips brushing against your ear, his dark locks brushing against your cheek. His voice was a deep drawl, low and teasing, breath hot against your skin.

“Tell you what,” Jungkook purred. “I’ll let you put the condom on.” You whimpered, disappointed. “And then I’ll fuck you against this wall, nice and hard and fast, not stopping until I cum because of that delicious, sweet, tight pussy of yours.”

If you had any sanity left, it rapidly disappeared as you nodded hastily, wordlessly holding out your hands as Jungkook dropped the condom in your palm. He calmly removed his hand, his thick, fully hard cock erect as you slid the condom down, moaning as you felt the traces of his veins and muscle pulsing under your hands. Once you were done, Jungkook pushed your hands away, not giving you a chance to disobey him.

You pouted. “You’re a jerk.”

He grinned at you, lifting your leg and pinning it to your chest. “And you’re about to get fucked.”

In less than a second, Jungkook thrust his hips up and into you, tearing a gasp from your throat as he rapidly entered you, peeling apart your soaking, abused walls. You bit your tongue, grabbing his dress shirt as he rolled his hips into you again, groaning as he felt you clench around him.

“That’s it, noona,” he exhaled, slamming his hips into you. “You better fucking hold me tight. If I slip out, that’s all the fucking you’ll get from me.”

You whined, feeling him start a bruising pace, hands clamped onto your ass. Whether he was lying or not didn’t matter because you were squeezing your pussy for dear life, crying out as he thrust into you over and over, so full and overstimulated you didn’t know whether to focus on your aching, raw pussy or his cock periodically throbbing inside you, swelling against your walls.

You hooked your leg around his waist, changing the angle, instantly feeling him ram his cock into a deeper, more pleasurable spot. You tipped your head back, eyes rolling up into your head as your mouth opened, tongue sliding out. He pounded you relentlessly, your shoulder blades smacking the wall. Your swollen clit rubbed against the base of his cock repeatedly. Your body was going to ache all over tomorrow, but you still rose your hips to meet his, so drunk on the feeling of his cock stretching you out that nothing else mattered. You came suddenly, wailing Jungkook’s name, pussy spasming and squeezing him but he set his jaw and fucked you even harder, using every ounce of his energy to keep his own orgasm at bay.

“Who owns this body, noona?” he ground out. “Tell me, who owns this fucking body?”

You had to claw for your words, throat so strained your voice was thin. “Y-you do, Jungkook, oh fuck, oh fuck…”

“That’s fucking right,” he growled. “If you cum, it’s for me and only me. No. One. Else.” He punctuated each word by slapping his hips into you, sliding you up into the wall so gravity crashed you back down onto his cock. You moaned, helpless, as he hissed, shoving his face into your tits to moan hotly into your chest as he came, violent, thick jerks of his cock shuddering into you. Quickly, he gripped your hips and pulled up, hissing as half of his cock slid out, cum leaking out of the bottom of the condom and splatting onto the floor.

“Fuck,” he gasped. “Fuck.”

You could barely register anything as he hoisted you onto his shoulder, cursing loudly. Jungkook leaned against the wall with one shoulder, panting, the other half-carrying you, arm wrapped around your waist. The only thing that brought you back to reality was the fact that your bare ass was in the air and your pants were hanging off one leg.

“Jungkook,” you croaked. “Let me down.”

He lowered you, still leaning against the wall, trying to catch his breath. His hair covered almost his whole face, sweaty and glistening. He wiped some sweat off his chin with the back of his hand, flicking it away carelessly.

You pressed your back flat against the wall, using at as leverage to pull your pants back up, wincing at the now familiar cold feeling of your soaked panties meeting your abused pussy. You crouched to collect your sock and your shoe, wincing as pain radiated up your back.

Jungkook chuckled, watching you struggle with your sneaker. “Want help?”

You grunted, shoving it on. “Can we stop fucking in random ass places at school?”

“You said I could fuck you wherever I want, whenever I want,” he teased, giving you an open-mouthed smirk.

You readjusted your bra, putting it back on. You found the two bits of condom wrapping, shoving it in your pocket. “I did, but I want to see you fully naked for once, you punk.”

Jungkook laughed, rich and full. “I support this idea if you’re also fully naked.”

You made a face as you got up, trying to keep your steps steady so you didn’t seem like a drunk idiot. Or someone who just got railed by Jeon Jungkook.

“Give me the condom.”

Jungkook raised an eyebrow. “I was going to drop it here. Mark my territory.”

You narrowed your eyes at him and took it from him as he extended his hand out. “Your buttons did that for you already,” you remarked, tying it up.

He smirked, zipping up his jeans. “You owe me a new shirt.”

“And you owe me new panties, again,” you shot back. “Where are my replacements?”

He shrugged, running a hand through his hair to push it back. Fuck. Open shirt, half-exposed forehead, smug-as-fuck Jungkook got you wet just by looking at him.

“Guess we should go shopping sometime.”

He smiled slyly, patting his pockets. His expression abruptly changed to confusion. He pulled out his wallet and phone, frowning. “Where are my car keys?” He furrowed his brow, looking at his phone. You found your keys and wallet still with you, surprised that they didn’t fall out of your pants. You phone was in your backpack, still in your car. He swiped at his phone, reading his messages.

Jungkook groaned. “I dropped them and Jimin took my car. Bastard.”

Fuck, his fucking deliciously toned and tan chest was distracting you. “I still have my keys,” you muttered, staring at his abs. Suddenly you started, realizing he was advancing on you.

“Oh?” Jungkook purred, opening his shirt wider. The fabric tumbled off his right shoulder, exposing his tattoos. His long dark hair covered part of his right eye, brown orbs glimmering with mischief.

“Wanna take me home, noona?”

Welp.

-

part iii

--

masterpost

[keilemlucent]

Oh Salem, the panicked Keigo idea just speaks to my mean little gremlin heart. I want to see the guy trained to keep calm and cool lose his shit over losing his s/o. RIP his handlers if they try to slow him down. I want to see the relief when he finds them and the reckoning for the people dumb enough to try. This. This is my bedtime snack.

so this is less of reckoning, more relief. soft. ive been thinking about this a LOT and i feel like <3 poor keigo would be ruined:

heres a wittle drabble for your thoughts 

warnings: kidnapped reader, descriptions that may trigger claustrophobia (light, just a cave setting), insults in a not fun way, hurt/comfort baby

You were so cold.

The ‘cell’ you were in was more of a hovel, a small hole dug into the elaborate cave system you found yourself trapped in.

You weren’t sure for how long. There was no sun, only a guard that came and went with your meager meals and stale bottle of water. He and the other villains that had captured you spit vitriol and profanity like it was their duty to grind their verbal heels against your fragile psyche.

You tried to block them out, curling up in a tight ball against the rough back wall of your cell. Ignorance was better than hearing their profanities. 

The worst part was that you weren’t really sure what was going on. Other than that it had something to do with Keigo, considering you were exclusively referred to as “the number 2′s brain-rotted whore”.

Once again, you tried not to listen. 

...

You awoke to the sounds of chaos. 

Shouting, crashes, explosions--

The walls of your prison shook as you scramble to stand, smashing your head into the low ceiling as you did.

Your vision spun as your staggered to the rusty bars, bracing yourself and hopelessly tugging as you had so many times before.

There was a crash particularly close, bits of debris falling from stone tunnels, frail support beams falling.

No. 

Your blood ran so cold, you couldn’t move. Your body went completely still at the bars as you switched between panic and rage. It wasn’t fair, none of it was, you didn’t even get to say fucking goodbye to him. No last words, you’d been plucked from the street on your commute however long ago.

Keigo had left early that morning too, letting you sleep in with a kiss to the forehead instead of his normal heapings of sleepy, dawn-time affections. You’d been clinging to those sleepy, half-memories as anchor over the days in the cramped caves.

And, in the end, that was all you would have. Cloudy recollections of Keigo’s raspy morning voice as the caves around you began to shift and crumble.

Tears rolled down your cheeks as you tugged at the bars, trying fruitlessly to get past them. Frustration made your hands sweat and fear made them shake as they became littered with small cuts. 

With the next crash, just as close, a vibrant blur of red whizzed past your cell. The shock and gust from its speed sent you jolting back, a hand clasping over your heart.

“... Keigo?” 

You hadn’t even realized you said it aloud. 

Not until the blur, feathers, a bundle of a maybe thirty returned, hovered and spun in front of the bars.

“Keigo?”

The feathers shuddered.

It felt like you were dreaming.

“KEIGO!” 

You practically screamed, jolting against the bars. Though it wasn’t him, not really, he’d hear you through the feathers. One of them spilled through the bars, pressing to your chest and pushing you away as the rest of the warm sharpened and began to beat on the thick padlock.

Something about your bodily state must’ve changed, as the feather at your face moved to under your chin, sweeping over your jaw in a small motions. 

...

Even from afar, Keigo was trying to comfort you.

When he’d felt you on the end of one of the feather swarms he’d sent into the caves, he thought he’d imagined it. The quiet hesitance with which you practically gasped his name was so fucking soft, he almost missed it.

But, he didn’t, thank fucking god.

The villains had been smart, corralling their captives (beyond just you, unsurprisingly. The string of disappearances over the weeks prior had all been linked. There were at least a dozen other lovers and family members of heroes tucked away into the mountain side with you.) 

Hence, it was a whole operation to retrieve you all, with some of the most pissed off, downright enraged heroes leading the charge and preceding investigation.

And Keigo?

He’d been at the front of it. 

HIs PA had to convince him to get a few solid hours of sleep every few days, in an actual bed, rather than on the floor of his office, or one of the many conference rooms the rescue team was occupying. 

He’d been wasting away, quietly, but he hardly noticed. Food was secondary, drinking was a burden, and his other bodily needs were just holding him back. He had a singular goal--

To find you.

He’d torn up the skies and the earth for just a trace of you, after you’d been taken. And finally, he found it, in the side of a fucking mountain, and an operation was launched to get all of the taken back.

Problem was it was a fucking mountain. A cobbled together base for the villains made of old mine tunnels and shafts, and organic caves.

And infuriatingly, Keigo and his wings were too damn big to properly navigate them. So, even if you were found, he wouldn’t be there. He couldn’t be there to tell you that everything was okay.

He couldn’t guarantee your safety by his own hands, and it fucking hurt. 

That being said, his feathers had done a good enough job. 

He could feel your heart hammering as you neared the entrance.

And then Keigo saw you.

...

You stumbled from the blown out opening, a flurry of feathers on either side. The brawl was somewhere else in the cave, shut out from your mind as you followed the tugs and touches of the plumes.

And as you felt the rays of setting sun hit your cheeks, you caught sight of Keigo.

Before you could even open your mouth, and breath the sigh of relief you needed to, or cried his name like you wanted to, Keigo was on you, scooping you up and away from the shuddering caves. 

His grip was so tight, it hurt, but neither of you cared. Your arms had looped behind his head, burying themselves in his greasy hair as you hid your face in his neck. Keigo’s hands were shaking as they held you close to him, not wavering even when you returned to the stable, safe ground below. It teemed with heroes and medics, but no one dared to interrupt or get between the two of you.

They’d all seen how wrecked Hawks had become in pursuit of finding his partner.

Keigo lowered the two of you to the ground, all feathers returning and making his feathers thick and broad once more. They rose and curled around the two of you, sealing the world away.

Your mouth felt too dry as you tried to sit up, but Keigo wouldn’t let you. He kept a firm hand on your hip as he tore off one of his gloves with his teeth, keeping you in place in front him. 

When you tried to shift, he gathered you by your waist and crushed you to him. HIs chest shuddered and his shoulders quaked with the force he was wrapping you, and you returned it all, as much as you could.

“P-please,” Keigo’s voice broke. “I just gotta hold you for awhile, o-okay, Dove? You’re s-safe now. I’ve got you.”

And he did.

You pressed your cracked lips to his cheeks, lungs going tight as you wrestled for one of his clammy hands to hold.

“I-I know,” You sniffled, tears squished between your cheeks. You pressed your interlocked fingers to your lips, choking on a sob of pure relief. Whatever kisses you had planned to grace his knuckles with were swallowed elsewhere.

Keigo pulled your face to his, hands and mouth hungry as he desperately kissed you, finally, nothing like the fleeting ones you both clung to while cruelly apart. It was messy, sloppy, but ringing with sweetness as Keigo sputtered and nipped at your lips.

“’M sorry,” He breathed, barely pulling away before slotting your lips together once more. 

As much as you wanted to reply, remind him that this wasn’t his fault, you words were too gummy and jumbled for anything meaningful.

So, you both settled for touch.

You stroked over each other’s sunken in eyes and dark circles. Keigo nipped at your dry lips, while you tasted the staleness of his breath. His bare hands braced against your back from just under the hem of your shirt,  feeling the deep chill in your skin and the residual dirt and grime.

You finally mustered up some words, the mix of so many needs and desires that needed sating.

“K-Keigo?” You lingered as close as you could, craving the heat and mingling of your breaths. “I-I want to go home.”

His breath caught and his grip got tighter still.

“Can we go home?” You asked, soft and breaking as you fell into the safety of his arms.

“Y-yeah,” Keigo pressed his teary cheeks to the top of your head, letting out a final shaking breath of relief. Keeping his words firm as firm as his touch, he put every ounce of ease that he could offer into his words:

“Let’s go home, dove.”