#got a bit emotional reading this ngl

[lamentationsofasinner]

YES SAY IT LOUDER

Thoughts on Ron and Hermione as a ship?

thank you very much for the ask, @thesilverstarling!

i’ll state my position straight away: book ron and hermione are the best of the canon couples.

they will have a long and extremely happy marriage made rich by great and stalwart love, lust, fun, and faithfulness, rather than held together by duty and couples’ therapy like so many readers and authors (including jkr, who seems to have decided to spend the years since the conclusion of the series failing to understand anything about her own characters) tend to think.

i will state another position straight away: lest i seem like i’m just a fan with blinkers on, i think this even though hermione is, by far, my least favourite member of the trio. if she were real i would detest her, and i dislike how she is treated by the narrative as always justified in her negative characteristics. i like fanon hermione - perfect and preternaturally good - even less.

as a result, i think that it’s ridiculous that jkr has said that she thought ron needed to ‘become worthy’ of hermione. they belong together as equals - which is what they’re set up in the narrative as being from the off - and i hate seeing that undermined.

because ronald weasley? he’s an icon. and he doesn’t get anywhere near the respect he deserves in fandom.

there are multiple reasons for this - ron’s narrative purpose is to be the everyman sidekick, and so he is able to be less special than harry or hermione (the helper-figure); the amount of aristocracy wank in this fandom means that the weasleys’ ordinariness is less appealing to writers than making harry have twenty different lordships and call himself hadrian; the narrative interrogates ron’s flaws - especially his capacity for jealousy - much more intensively than it interrogates either hermione’s (cruel, inflexible, meddling) or harry’s (reckless, self-absorbed, judgemental) - but one i feel is particularly significant is that ron is such a british character that many of his traits are not understood as intended by non-british readers.

in particular - as is outlined in this excellent meta by @whinlatter - ron’s sense of humour isn’t indicative of immaturity or a lack of seriousness, but is, in fact, evidence that he’s the most emotionally aware of the trio.

ron is shown throughout the series to understand how both harry and hermione need to have their emotions approached - and i think there is no piece of writing which says this better than crocodile heart by @floreatcastellumposts:

That was what she liked most about Ron, she thought vaguely. He was very good at being suitably outraged on your behalf. For Harry, for her, for Neville. That sort of thing mattered, when you were hurt or embarrassed or wronged in some way. You needed to have someone else on your side, to be as emotional as you felt, maybe even more so, so that you might feel a bit more normal. It was very decent of him, and she was not sure he realised he did it.

ron’s inherent emotional awareness is an enormous source of comfort to other people. he does the work which isn’t flashy or special - he makes tea and tells jokes and is just there - but which is needed in healthy human relationships far more frequently than a willingness to fight to the death for the other person.

[as an aside, this normality - even though i think it is assumed rather than justified by the text - is also what ginny provides for harry. if you believe that hinny are a good couple but romione aren’t… i can’t help you.]

but let’s look at some specific reasons why ron and hermione belong together:

their communication styles mesh perfectly. ron is the only person hermione knows who feeds her love of being challenged and debated, and who is able to engage in this way of communicating without becoming irate when she refuses to back down. ron is good at picking his battles, but he’s also good at recognising that hermione’s tendency to argue isn’t intended to be confrontational a lot of the time - it’s just the way she works through feelings and problems. he’s far more easy-going about her tendency to nag, interrupt, try to provoke arguments, or speak condescendingly than he’s given credit for - and hermione evidently respects this, since when he does tell her not to push a situation (above all, when she’s trying to needle harry into talking about sirius), she listens to him.

that ron and hermione’s tendency to bicker is taken by fans to be a bad thing is because it’s something harry - from whose perspective the narrative is written - doesn’t understand. harry is extremely conflict-avoidant - he tends to take being pushed on views and opinions he has to be insulting; and he has a tendency to assume that he is right which is just as profound as hermione’s. he and ginny communicate not by debating, but by ginny having no time for his rigidity and refusing to indulge it - but ron and hermione bickering about everything is not a negative thing within their specific emotional dynamic.

[as another aside, this glaring chasm in communication styles is why harry and hermione would be a disaster as a couple.]

they each provide validation the other needs. it’s clear - reading between the lines - that hermione is a tremendously lonely person. the friendlessness of her initial few weeks at hogwarts seems to be a continuation of her experience as a child, and - outside of ron and harry - that friendlessness endures through her schooldays. i’m always struck, for example, by the fact that, when she falls out with ron in prisoner of azkaban, she has no-one else to spend time with, and that this is only avoided in half-blood prince because harry decides not to freeze her out. i don’t think her friendship with ginny is anywhere near as close as fanon seems to imply (ginny has no interest in being nagged either), nor do i think that she’s anywhere near as close to neville (not least because she is so condescending to him) as she’s often written to be.

and this loneliness seems to stretch beyond hogwarts. the absence of hermione’s parents’ from the narrative is - in a doylist sense - clearly just a device to maximise time with the trio all together, but the watsonian reading is that she doesn’t have a particularly good relationship with them. hermione’s obviously upper-middle-class background - the name! the skiing! the holidays in the south of france! - can be presumed, i think, to come with a series of expectations from her parents which she feels constantly that she’s not entirely meeting, particularly expectations attached to academic success.

[for example, the grangers - were she a muggle child - would undoubtedly have ambitions for her to attend an elite university and then go into a prestigious career. tertiary education of the type that they’re familiar with doesn’t seem to exist in the wizarding world - most careers seem to be taught by apprenticeship - and this, alongside all the other divides between the magical and muggle worlds which contribute to the distance between them, would be one very obvious area in which she felt the need to prove herself to them.]

ron, too, has quite a difficult relationship with his position in the family - voldemort’s locket is not wrong to point out that he seems to receive considerably less of his mother’s emotional attention than ginny or the rest of his brothers - and he too is constrained by expectations which he doesn’t know how to explain he has no interest in - above all, molly’s desire for her sons to achieve top grades and go into the ministry.

he also suffers while at hogwarts from being ‘harry potter’s best friend’, something which harry never appreciates. but hermione does. she recognises ron’s jealousy and never allows harry to minimise it (and she and ron are very much aligned on having no respect for harry’s saviour and martyr complexes). she appreciates ron’s strengths - above all his kindness and his sense of humour - and makes him feel as though he’s achieved things with them. and ron does the same for her; he is hugely observant when it comes to her, and he challenges and defends her.

the two of them clearly spend a lot of time together one-on-one while harry’s involved in his various shenanigans (including outside of school - hermione has often arrived at the burrow days or even weeks before harry, and they seem to write to each other frequently when apart). they do this within a relationship which is fundamentally equal. one issue with hinny is that, post-war, harry is going to have to get used to seeing ginny as a peer, rather than as someone he has to protect. but ron and hermione never have that issue - equality is baked into their relationship from the off.

because, to be quite frank, fandom overstates the role that jealousy plays in their relationship. it’s true that ron certainly doesn’t acquit himself brilliantly when it comes to hermione’s relationship with viktor krum (it’s because he’s bi and doesn’t know it yet), and a tendency to externalise his insecurity into trying to make others also feel insecure is one of his primary negative traits (hermione does this too, via her patented lofty voice when she’s trying to condescend to people). but this is often taken as the initial red flag for how the relationship would crash and burn, and ron’s toxic jealousy is often used in fan-fiction as the trigger for emotional and physical violence towards hermione which, frequently, seems to drive her into the arms of either draco malfoy or severus snape… who are, of course, the first people we think of when we hear the words ‘not prone to jealousy’...

but i think it’s important to point out several things in defence of ron’s jealousy over krum. firstly, hermione evidently regards his jealousy as ridiculous - she’s upset by it, yes, but her upset must be understood as being caused by the fact that she wanted him to ask her out. she doesn’t think he’s being possessive, she thinks he’s being stupid. secondly, hermione is equally as jealous over ron’s crush on fleur delacour and relationship with lavender brown. she behaves just as cruelly when it comes to lavender as ron does when it comes to krum - and the narrative only treats her actions as more sympathetic or justified both because harry dislikes lavender too, and because, by that point in the series, jkr has dispensed with any inclination to ever criticise her.

but, outside of this teenage pettiness, ron is never jealous of hermione over things which matter. he is never jealous of her intelligence or competence or ambition or success (indeed, he defends her constantly from attacks designed to undermine her in these areas). for someone who struggles with being overshadowed by harry, he is never upset at being overshadowed by her. he is clearly going to be happy to support her in any of the career ambitions she can be written as having post-war.

and, on this point, i think it’s worth interrogating why so many readers still seem to feel uncomfortable with the idea of ron and hermione having a dynamic where she is the more ‘powerful’ one. [it’s always a bit trite to say ‘but what if the genders were reversed?’, but actually that’s not irrelevant here]. if hermione ends up taking the ministry by storm and ron becomes a stay-at-home father or has a job which is just to pay the bills, what, precisely, is wrong with that? why, precisely, should hermione regard ron making that choice for himself as a negative thing? hermione so often seems to leave ron in fan-fiction because of a lack of ambition - something which seems to be particularly common in dramione - but, in canon, she is shown to not particularly care if ron and harry do the bare minimum when it comes to studying etc. she nags them to do their work so they don’t get in trouble. she doesn’t nag them to do it to the same standard that she would.

and, actually, i think that ron being less ambitious than hermione is something which is key to how well they work. because ron provides not only emotional support, but emotional clarity.

hermione is shown throughout canon to - just as harry does - have a tendency to become obsessive to the detriment of her own health. she is also often - as harry is - emotionally or intellectually inflexible, and finds it hard to move on when what she feels or believes is proven to be wrong. both she and harry are micro-thinkers, who lean towards knee-jerk assumptions and stubborn convictions (and, indeed, hermione has a remarkably hagrid-ish tendency towards blind loyalty).

ron is none of these things. ron is a big-picture thinker (it’s why he’s so good at chess). he’s a pragmatist. he’s the least righteous of the three. he understands that faith and loyalty are choices, and that sometimes these choices will lead to outcomes which are bad or hard. he is the one of the three most willing to own up to having made mistakes. he is the one least likely to act on gut instinct (and, therefore, the hardest to fool - i think it’s worth emphasising that he clocks that tom riddle is tricking harry immediately, the only one of the trio to do so). he understands that things are a marathon, not a sprint. he is the least obsessive.

and these traits contribute to aspects of his character which are underappreciated. ron worries about hermione making herself ill during exams, or when she is using the time-turner, and makes an effort to get her to set healthy boundaries and redirect her anxiety. ron stands on a broken leg in front of sirius or goes into the forest to fight aragog not out of righteousness, but out of choice. ron takes over the burden of preparing buckbeak’s defence when it is clear that hermione is approaching burnout. ron is completely right that harry hasn’t done any long-term planning for the horcrux hunt, and his anger does force harry to tighten up after he leaves the trio. ron has a clear head in the middle of battle. ron makes harry and hermione laugh. ron is unafraid of human emotion. ron arrests harry’s tendency to brood over the little things by looking at the bigger picture. ron will always come back.

ron is bringing his politician wife regular cups of tea and making sure she doesn’t work all night. he is helping his lawyer wife to feel less upset over losing one case by reminding her that she’s won ten others. he is noticing stress creeping in and whirling her off for a dirty weekend, or even just a takeaway on the sofa. he is teaching his daughter to be proud of her ambition and his son to treat women as equals and both of his children that all you can do when you fuck up is apologise and try to do better. he is making hermione smile on the worst days of her life. he is helping her strategise her long-term goals when she gets stuck on the short-term ones. he is telling her straight when she needs to get it together. he is seeing a misogynistic head of department call hermione a ‘silly little girl’ and choosing to tell him exactly what he thinks of that.

ron is the ultimate wife guy. hermione is a very, very lucky lady.

[13eyond13]

.

[chuusmuts]

imagine innocent!kabukimono being needy

smut(?) afab reader (mentioned of tight walls), needy kabukimono, male masturbation, corruption (kabukimono).not proofread.

you can see this as part two of kabukimono finding out you lactate (where he found out about sex/ read a book about it) or another version of innocent kabukimono going wild. kinda want to make this a series, ngl.

when he opened the door to your room, he expected you to be in your room, but he was greeted with silence. he suddenly hit the realization that you were supposedly out to buy some grocery. this scent in your room, it's your scent. he missed it so much, he missed your scent, he missed you. you were just here a few minutes ago, how could he has had miss you so bad already?

he sighed, realising you would be gone for a while. he hated when you were away, even if it was only for a little bit. he needed you here with him, always. he sat down on the floor near the door, resting his head against it. his heart raced at the thought of being alone, it reminded him when he was being thrown away. he wanted to be with you, hold you, touch you, kiss you. but most importantly, he wanted to be held by you. he didn't know what else to do but wait for you to come back home. he tried to calm himself down, he couldn't let his emotions control him.

his eyes roamed all over your room as he missed your presence, and eventually, his gaze fell on a book beside your bed. out of curiosity, he got up and took a look at the book. a book about... oral and sex? what even is that? he'd never heard of it. the cover of the book was very erotic, it's a picture of a man pounding himself into a woman's pussy. since he was an innocent puppet, he was clueless about all of this, but at the same time, he felt like getting to know about this thing called 'oral' and 'sex'.

kabukimono looked at the book with his eyes widened in confusion. he had no idea what oral and sex meant, he didn't even know what a vagina was. out of curiousity, he grabbed the book and flipped through it, feeling both intrigued and uncomfortable. he felt his face heat up as he read through the pages, it was all just too much for him to handle. he started to feel nervous, unsure of whether he should keep reading or not. nevertheless, he continued to read, trying to make sense of everything he saw and read as he was still puzzle about it.

ultimately, he stopped at a page whereas the top of it was written 'how to pleasure yourself when you're missing them'. wasn't that... what he's feeling right now? he missed you so much he felt like dying. but the question was, what's this thing called 'pleasure'? he read this thing so-called masturbation and as he read further, he began to feel a stirring in his lower region. this was all so new to him, yet he found himself wanting to learn more, his inquisitiveness got the better out of him. he had no idea where he was going with this, but he felt like he needed to do something, something toward his cock. should he follow the instructions and actually try to do it?

his hands trembled as he read the next paragraph, which explained how to perform a self-handjob. he felt his cheeks turn red as he read as he felt embarrassed and nervous. he wondered if it was normal for people to masturbate. the fact that he was reading and thinking about doing it made him feel dirty, but he wanted to know if it would really make him feel better or if it would help him forget about his loneliness. glancing down at his crotch, he saw how his cock was starting to become erect. this was all so strange and foreign to him since he'd never experienced this, but he decided to give it a shot. he took off his boxer and noticed the tip of it was already leaking with precum; a clear, colorless, viscous fluid that is emitted from the urethra of the penis during sexual arousal, was what it was written in the book. placing one hand on his cock, he gently stroked it, trying to figure out what exactly he was supposed to do.

step one, find your stroke. it said in the book, to get things started, use your hand to find a rhythm you love. and so, he continued stroking his cock in a slow pace. the longer he stroked it, the more he felt like groaning as his breathing got heavy. he must has had found the rhythm he loved. as he masturbated himself, his gaze fell on your picture that was hanging on the wall, and it only aroused him more. his heart pounded even faster as he unconsciously started to call out your name, groaning and moaning. it felt so good, so amazing that he began to visualize you were the one who was giving him the handjob. he imagined your voice, your soft touch, your gentle caresses, and the way you'd look at him with your cute and gentle smile.

the sensation was incredible, unlike anything he'd ever experienced. he felt like he was melting inside as his body shivered with pleasure. he kept stroking faster and harder, not realizing how much he was moving his hips and how loud he was becoming. the sound of his voice filled with need and desire grew louder and louder, filling the silent room. he called out your name, begging for you to return and hold him, to touch him, to make him feel good. he was lost in the moment, completely unaware of the world around him. he was only focused on the pleasure he was feeling and the fact that he needed you to be there with him.

he continued to follow the instructions as he next rubbed and squeezed his balls. they were (not) surprisingly very sensitive to him and packed with nerve endings. he rubbed them gently with one hand while the other maintained a stroke on his penis. at last, he placed the book aside when he felt he could masturbate himself without guidance.

at one point, he could barely breathe properly, and his whole body tense and started shaking. "ngh... ah... y/n..." he threw his head back and opened his mouth wide as he kept moaning, tears welling up in his eyes, feeling the urge to cum. "need you so bad... i miss y– ngh..." his bangs sticked to his forehead and his neck was shining, glistening as a bead of sweat rolled down while he speeded up the pace and kept squeezing his balls. "w– wanna fuck you... fuck..."

he could feel the muscles in his pelvis tighten and contract as he neared his climax. his cock throbbed and pulsed against his palm, the sensations growing stronger and more intense. he could feel his entire body shake as a stream of precum dripped down the length of his cock. his breathing became ragged and uneven, and his heart raced as he struggled to maintain control. he couldn't hold it in anymore, and finally, he screamed your name, his voice echoing throughout the room, his body convulsing and twitching. he came hard, his cock pulsing and spurting with a hot, sticky fluid.

the hot liquid dripped from his tip onto his thighs, pooling the sheet beneath him. the feeling of cumming was so good, but it wasn't nowhere near enough. oh, how he badly wished it was you who made him cum. he collapsed on the bed, smelling your sweet scent, and all he could think was having your tight walls around his cock as he fuck you dumb. he couldn't wait till you come back to relieve his needs.

[acid-ixx]

update and story excepts

guys i swear if i post chapter 4 sooner for my series: again &. again, soon, will that revive the yandere batfam/dc tag because i swear i've been consuming less content of it both lately and sadly 💔 like it's a bit dead ngl. ill reply to asks once i'm done with ch.4 istg

and yes, i'm back from my short hiatus again to announce this. and it's 3:30am but i dont care teehee. anyways, if i do post a new chapter expect it to be this week and that's final for once, since i've kept all of you guys waiting so long, i'm so sorry :(( i swear it's me trying to gain confidence through my writing and i don't know if i like chapter 4 or not. all i do know is that it's one of the most emotionally draining chapters so expect triple the angst, yippee!

anyways, excepts from the chapter below the line break:

DICK'S THOUGHTS:

he sighs, resigning his thoughts all to himself as he checks his phone every minute for a simple ring of notifications just from you. he prefers to leave his phone in silent mode from the multitude of other contacts bothering him, but god forbade if that means he'd scroll past to a single reply of yours, then he'd rather burn in hell.

dick doesn't know it. why he's suddenly obsessed with you. you? yes you, his stupidly precious sibling, the one who looked up to him, frail and wronged by the world, with so much drive behind that stare. third child of bruce, yet second youngest in the family. the one that got away, the one he has never once saw outside that one memory of glinting, awe-inspired eyes that told more stories than poets, drew more emotions than artists.

CONNER'S SCENES:

"you're hot," and if you were sober enough, you would've felt sheer embarrassment and shame from eyeing the boy, but you're not— and because you're not sober, or any bit sane, the next few sentences you spewed out were all coherent, yet wonkily pronounced utterances paired with teary eyes and sniffling nose, as you can't seem to control the feelings of melancholy in your heart and the sudden emotional burst from your ramblings.

"thank you, you too, actually— but are you alright-"

"haha! is it strange to say that you look so cute whenever you look at me with wide eyes in the short span of time we just met?"

"it's conner, conner kent. call me kon, though. or yours if it's you."

BATHROOM BREAKDOWN P.T.2 PRIOR TO CLUBBING

you don't remember the last time you looked in a mirror, looking healthy, fresh, and proud of yourself for dressing up in your style. in the back of your mind, there will always be hatred, resentment for how you look. and right now, you hate how you every bit of your appearance because...

because you look exactly just like an image of your mother and bruce wayne. a reminder, your punishment for your parents' beautifully tragic affair with one another. a billionaire who courted.the lowly dirt-class slut of gotham.

(spoilers: expect shit to go down with jason todd with you, and him with the family, and a good 4k words of you flirting with conner before actual shit goes down)

leave comments down below if you do like the direction this story is coming to! otherwise, thank you all for reading my series and supporting it from the start !! <33

[astrobydalia]

Solar return observations

Virgo season is here which means my birthday is coming soon!!! I thought it would be fitting to share my first Solar Return observations with you. These are based on my experience, feel free to share yours!

Btw Ariel is my fave Disney princess I love her sm

work by astrobydalia

Fire rising in SR - these years were characterized for being SO SO chaotic and all over the place tbh. It was always a mix of good and bad things like damn I couldn't catch a break. So many rollecosters, STRESS, situations were I was at the edge of my seat, unpredictable and random stuff happening...

Air rising on SR - one word: fresh. Total opposite from fire risings. Air risings were years that felt so light and fresh! I felt like I was floating through the year in a good way! Just going with flow. And I've said this before the best most chill years where I've found myself thriving were Libra risings on SR (also venus in the 1st house)

Moon-Lilith conjunction in th SR - I felt like my life being sucked out of me and overall felt kinda unlucky that year. I felt so empty inside during this year it was insane. Also I was having mayor issues and conflicts with my mom

Chiron is in SR is a bit catastrophized imo. It can not only mean areas in your life that can "break" but also areas that could find healing or resolutions as well. Whenever I've seen the breaking or ending manifestation of this asteroid it was always from a place of reconsideration and healing rather destruction, like making peace with something. For example, Chiron in the 7th house could mean ending a relationship on good terms or unlearning unhealthy relationship patterns. On time I had Chiron in the 6th house and during that year I got a nice job after a long period of struggling to find a job. Of course it's nuanced and it can often be painful and disappointing process but I think people don't mention enough how Chiron is about finding relief as well

One time I read the SR for a client who had Pluto in the 6th house for that year and turns out she was planning to undergo surgery during that time for health reasons

Leo rising in SR - These years were TERRIBLE for some reason. Maybe it was due to Cancer 12th house but I was really struggling to find happiness and fulfillment in my life during these times

Cancer mars in the SR - So emotional!! Like truly it was years that were clouded by emotion. It was either due to family stuff, friends or relationships, but I was running on emotion all the time and I couldn't act on logic to save my life. However it's not like I was in my bed crying all day but rather these emotions were giving energy and motivation in some way. Somehow being emotional was always making be feel.... alive?

Moon in 12th house of SR - I was getting ready to move and separate from my family during this year

Taurus rising in SR - these years were surprisingly.... intense, specially with my relationships. A lot of patience, resisting and enduring. Every event that happened felt like I was going through a 10-year-long process and really had a strong impact in my life. Years were I reconsidered my priorities a lot and was really faced with what is it that I truly value

Uranus in the 1st house of SR - literally a few days prior to my bday I received shocking news that turned my entire year (and life) upside down so you can imagine how this energy played out. Life forcing changes on my life that I was not ready for but had to make it through one way or another

Virgo rising in SR - I started a new job!

Look at Part of Fortune and Vertex in your SR chart, these will be significant themes!

Capricorn rising in SR - I was.... borderline depressed here ngl. Those kind of years that never seem to end ever. I was receiving pressure from both my career life and my family life. Overall earth rising in the SR were years that felt very 'heavy' if that makes sense.

Juno in the 1st house of SR - these were years were I meant new people!!! I significantly enlarged my network

^Same thing with Venus/Libra/Vertex in the 7th house of SR. I didn't get into a relationships or had anything romantic going on, I met new people and made new friends in general. I also bought lots of new clothes and invested a lot in my image

Scorpio rising in SR -you know when you go through a very intense experience out of nowhere and then come out of it soon after like nothing happened and you're left feeling like "wtf was that for"? That's this.

Yod configuration in SR - very karmic life-changing and ground breaking events in my life. Before and after vibes

Moon in Capricorn in the SR - my girlboss era!!!! These were years were I began new professional opportunities like my first job or my first year in college

Moon in the 8th house of SR - you guessed it: trauma. I'm talking canon event kind of trauma. A family member died.

Vertex in the 8th house of SR - this was playing life on hard mode honestly. Not necessarily traumatic, but very complicated events and situations here that put you to the test

work by astrobydalia

[freuleinanna]

ngl van helsing and mina's relarionship is very very dear to me and does in fact have me in chokehold

we're expecting jack seward to be van helsing's protégé, them being academics and jack having been vh's student. and yet jack is the least flexible in his beliefs. meanwhile mina, despite not having any relevant education, demonstrates all qualities that van helsing seeks and respects!

she's anticipating the need for a record and typewrites her and jonathan's diaries in advance, plus later continues her task to make sure they all have access to the least available bit of information (to which van helsing refers a LOT closer to the end)

she's quick-minded and can surprise the old professor (cue the 'teehee sure read my diaries oops it's in shorthand' scene, after which vh basically goes I AM ADOPTING HER, teary-eyed)

she has a chronical case of understanding him instantly. parallel the scene with jack 'WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN ELEPHANTS LIVE LONGER' seward and the scene with mina 'SAY NO MORE I GOT YOU DRACULA IS FLEEING BACK HOME' harker, it's just so funny to me

van helsing constantly saying how he needs jack to have an open mind, yet here's madam mina, self-educated on the horrors in castle dracula, asking van helsing himself to keep an open mind as he reads the diaries!

in van helsing's memorandum he says she obediently does anything he asks. she even gets up to leave the wafer circle, although she can't. like.... she knows that van helsing is testing her, and helps willingly. she feels the changes in herself, and she allows her friend to carry out his research too.

they are SO quick to follow each other's thoughts! mina discovers hypnotism as means to speak freely and calls for van helsing right away. and he gets her without missing a beat

don't even get me started on every time mina saves the situation and van helsing muttering 'wonderful woman!' under his breath. he cares for her so deeply it's insane and heart-warming and bittersweet

and that damn november 4 entry? van helsing being afraid, afraid, afraid! of mina and the changes she undergoes. yet he continues to care about his friend. huge thanks to @re-dracula for bringing each emotion to life in such a vivid manner

in conclusion, mina harker is van helsing's spiritual kin and i am not normal about it

[ayselluna]

Ascendant Astarion Recommendations!

I'm a fan of both Spawn and Ascendant Astarion so I do enjoy reading both. But if you want to explore and read some good shit~ Ascendant fics well here you go~

I've read a lot so bear with me, These are my TOPS~

I LOVE ALL OF THESE:

A Gift, A Curse by @elemit - This updates daily most of the time, the author is getting busy IRL but it should be back on a daily update again soon I think. This is one of the darker theme of Ascendant Astarion "50 shades of 'FCKNG LITTLE TWAT' Ancunin" as one of the comment says haha some scenes are "traumatic" but the rollercoaster ride of emotions you'll get on this story is one for the books! ONGOING!

Fangs and Fractured Hearts - by @fangsandfracturedhearts - This one's one of the softer sides of the Ascendant, the dynamic of Tav and Astarion here is exquisite! The cliffhanger on this one just uggghhhhh. i love it!! ONGOING!

Hellish Rebuke by @bludazey this one's a classic! the details on this story is so genius I swear. Also I think a lot of Astarion fanfic writers got inspired with the Devil's dealing here. Also Tav here is effing smart and just chef's kiss! such a great heroine! ONGOING!

His Star - His Queen [Originally titled Across Stars and Time] by ARandomIntrovert - Now this a bit different, What if multiverse exists? Now there's two Astarions fighting over you, Spawn VS Ascendant, where do you think this would go? :)) Story's definitely amazing and unique! I easily got invested. haha ONGOING!

In Another Life by @locallegume - Definitely a softer side of the Ascendant but Tav and Astarion's dynamic here is one of my fave! <3 Tav here is not the overly good role model we usually read, she's troubled too and definitely has effed up issues. but sometimes you just need to find your own freak and be together forever. ONGOING!

Pieces Still Stuck In Your Teeth - by @howlsmovinglibrary / @wetcatspellcaster - The amount of Banter and D&D Lore on this one is superb! you have to watch out for the writer's notes! I love how I get to learn more D&D stuff and godssss how many times I almost got so swayed by the Ascendant here! good thing Tav's so good at bantering haha ONGOING!

Remember ye not the former things by @brabblesblog - THE SEQUEL!! It focuses more on the aftermath and them working out their relationship, a lot more TAV bg story but gods, Astarion here , I just want to smother him with cuddles and kisses, TAKE MEEEEE ONGOING!

Whither is thy beloved gone? by @brabblesblog -

It has a sequel!!! - that's how good it is! <3 also The Ascendant here is my favorite! The confrontations are just so real and so true I caaaaan't. He wrote the Ascendant so good I actually sided with him more than Tav! A lot of smut ngl but I got into the characters more that I should have. you're missing out if you haven't read this. COMPLETED!

Most of these are still ongoing but I am updated w/ each, along with other Spawn Astarion fics :)) They are all good! some more soft than the others, some darker and evil :))

Let me know if you guys want to get some Spawn Astarion fics recommendations!

[yourfavepookiebear]

Hii, can i make a request? Yandere and self aware twisted wonderland please?

So the characters could hear the player after some time, although it is very difficult unless you pay attention, they actually don't know the appearance of the player!

But yeah, yandere Heartslabyul with a player who's pretty expressive? Like whenever something frustrates them they'd almost always curse out loud, when something makes them happy and satisfied they'd yell out a "Yes! Oh my god bro", etc

Okay so basically a player like me (and many others), cool, got it. (Im panicking I suck at writing for heartslabyul) I fucked up at ace's part idk what to write for him

God the old hag is waking up

Rushed asf

Riddle Rosehearts

You're pretty easy to read, at least on the terms of mood and emotion, which could be considered a good thing for him ?

At first he didn't believe it, because how could the player be anything but perfect ?

But then he realized that you don't need to be emotionless to be perfect.

Now this vaguely depends on whether we're talking about before OB or after OB Riddle, but if it's after OB then he doesn't mind it much

In fact, he likes hearing you mumble in frustration whenever you lose or see something irritating, it makes him...melancholic, in a way. Because these are all the signs that you're pretty normal just like them, you feel. It reassures him sometimes, to know that.

It's pretty cute and funny to him, but he won't show it

Hates that you show that side of yourself to others, he wants to be the only one to see this, but alas..not much can be done.

At least, not within the rules.

Cater Diamond

A bit like Riddle, it's sorta funny for him. God he wishes he could tease you, but he can't because of the damn programming..

Will definitely sneakily film it or record it he can't pass up on such an opportunity !

Depending on his mood he may or may not post it as well, but most likely on his private account

Can't have anyone else seeing such a cute thing, can we ?

Trey Clover

Now this is a bit complicated (more so than the others)

He wouldn't show it on the outside ofc, but he finds it endearing. (everyone does.)

May or may not crack a little smile when he sees you jumping in joy (or banging your head on the wall in frustration)

Doesn't care what others think about it, he will listen to your little outbursts with all ears.

And if anyone dares to comment about it, they better get ready for hell.

Deuce Spade

Doesn't really know what to think about it,

Ofc like everyone else he loves to hear you jump in joy or excitement, but frowns when you whine or complain about something

You deserve the very best !! If he could, he'd do anything to make you happy, just to see your little smile

God he wishes he was with you, but he can't...except-

Right, maybe draconia could help him with this.

Ace (I forgot his last name)

Oh well.

Seeing how expressive you are, he would definitely sneak in a few teases in his dialogues.

You know that cheeky smile of his ? Yeah, that's the one he has

Unlike a few others, he doesn't care if you're jumping in joy or in sadness, all he cares about is hearing you, seeing you..

Don't worry, soon enough, you'll be right next to him. So if you one day wake up to find yourself locked up in a room, just know that he means no harm

He can't help but wonder what you look like...ah, no use thinking about that since you'll be here soon.

This sucks ass ngl, my writing is trash right now but whatever

I did better than I thought since it's been a few months since I last wrote anything

Dividers by @cafekitsune

[the-maddened-hatter]

I'm ngl, I know it's a really small thing compared to the glaringly obvious villainy his dad has showcased, but I love how well the pizza episode conveys Dev's emotional neglect without it technically coming up at all

Little dude is rich af and nobody has ever told him about dairy alternative pizza??? Look at that face, there's probably tears of joy behind those shades ffs.

And personally I feel like that's a bit of a recurring thing with his wishes too, like he knows he's got the power to get the things he wants, but as insufferable as he is sometimes he may have been conditioned out of "being a problem" via "overly specific" requests.

Kind of like Cookie's "wish granting" style, he gets "the best" (read: most expensive) thing and then expected to shut up and stay out of the way

[verysmallcyborg]

Then vs Now

tagged by @elliewiltarwyn (thank you!!!! <3)

tagging. uhh. ngl i have no idea who has and hasn't been tagged already so @oneiroy + anyone that sees this that wants to do it :)

get ready for an emotional rollercoaster scoob....! november 2022

december 2023

december 2024

hope you love reading about just how much they've changed over time!!! wheeeee

did you know? it took me 4 tries (and a massive d2 burnout lmfao) to fully get into xiv, BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY..... changing fornax's hair from white -> black with grey streaks & their face markings from red to orange, to better match their eyes. originally i tried to replicate their d2 exo design into xiv.... did not vibe super well with it in the end

their lore and backstory has changed a lot, but this has been significantly more solidified with a huge thanks to sharing one with ryss in a two wol universe...!

originally was just a femroe, now an au roe, which has been such a fun and interesting journey, and has played an important role in their backstory

used to use mars bulky for all of 2023 and a good chunk of 2024, but changed some time after DT to use a private body that onei did that gives them a fat, strong body (especially with the help of c+, wowie zowie dude their scaling is putting in WORK. and idk it just feels right for fornax to have that build and they're even hotter than before. it suits them perfectly!!!)

i dipped into frontlines in 2023 i think. and something possessed me ever since, looks away,

met LOTS of wonderful folks in the xiv community, primarily from tumblr (some on twitter, some on bsky), what great timing bc i had stopped perceiving tumblr for years beforehand. there's something nice about being able to share my joy and love of fornax with other's, and being able to learn about so many other wol's too...!

anyways. fornax. tiny jaw scales went to bigger ones and give the impression of mutton chops/sideburns, had a bit of body hair but basically gave them a forest on their stomach + added some chest hair, improved face and top scars (and gave em more body scars in general), eyebags and crows feet, and has a tail closer to how i draw it. they got even more of an undercut, and improved tiny horns. this butch ain't smooth as butter, you understand...! oh better slits too lmao. they've had A LOT of tiny adjustments the past few months....

basically fornax became the embodiment of Extremely Gender. to me. living vicariously through her

[fourtyforever]

Get in losers were making a fic rec masterlist

Hi y’all it’s me, your local multishipper, and I’m about to be the change I wish to see in the world by putting all the best f1 fics in one place.

Maxiel

cool things to say to your soulmate by @powerful-owl (E, 14k)

A collection of shorter soulmate stories by the great em powerfulowl. Essentially the maxiel thesis as far as I’m concerned. If you ever catch me talking about the goose fic, this is what I’m talking about. Fun story: this was actually the first F1 rpf I ever read and I blame it for why my standards are so fantastically high.

Thursday girl by @boxboxlewis (M, 3k)

Max is outed by the press. Shocking emotional impact to word ratio and off the charts tenderness. Short and sweet and low key a comfort read to me.

the being unknown by anonymous (E, 12k)

Body swap with really unique and emotional vibes. Ngl this one hurt me (in the best way). A fantastic and heart-wrenching take on the horrors of 2022.

Charlos

win or lose (it’s how you play the game) by @f1-stuff (E, 18k)

Hickey bet between charles and carlos. Cannot get over this fic for as long as I live: the silliness is off the charts, the vibes are literally the most perfectly balanced tenderhorny I’ve ever read and the writing is just really that good. I think about this fic minimum once a day.

last night by venerat (E, 24k)

College au. Ngl this one is just especially spicy, but also very very funny and fully captivating top to bottom (see what I did there? haha). Also a great ensemble cast here, which I always love.

Once more (before we die) by @f1-stuff (M, 6k)

Fantasy AU where charlos are princes of warring kingdoms. I love this AU and I love the tenderness between Charles and Carlos that we get out of it. I’m usually not really an AU type of gal but this one really did change my mind.

Playing games by @vegasgrandprix (T, 4K)

Gay chicken. WIP, but I can already tell so clearly exactly where this is going and that is delightful to me. Honestly this really is how they act like 90% of the time already.

Yukierre

match made in heaven by venerat (T, 4K)

Pierre is yuki’s matchmaker. this one is just so sweet and sooooo silly. Comfort read 100%

Loscar

Are they gay or European? (the answer is both) by periwinkle_bumper_cars (T, 30k)

Logan keeps walking in on other drivers in compromising positions. 100% balls to the wall silliness from beginning to end and just completely delightful the whole time. Background carlando, kmag/hulkenberg, brocedes, maxiel, and honestly the ensemble cast is what takes this one from great to top tier.

Landoscar

By a thread by @mctwinkdom (E, 32k)

The classic Australian thongs misunderstanding (gone sexual). Incredibly silly, amazingly hot and honestly a top-tier character study of both Oscar and Lando. A great study in unreliable narration as well (probably part of what accounts for my previous point).

carried away by orphan account (E, 22k)

Fake dating. Honestly this one got me in my feels so much more than I expected from the premise. Sweet and a little bit angsty and just a delightful read all the way down.

Strollonso

green light, red wine (and I don’t feel fine) by @vicsy (E, 19k)

Mafia AU where lance is the son of Fernando’s arch nemesis. THEE strollonso fic of all time I tell you. Unparalleled characterization on the part of both nando and lance, fantastic ensemble cast, FANTASTIC writing, and off the charts unreal spiciness. If you haven’t read this yet then what are you doing

El dick plan by @waddlingpenguin (E, 800)

Lance says ‘daddy,’ both Fernando and Lawrence answer. Short, sweet and SILLY.

camera roll by @penaltyboxboxbox (E, 5k)

Sexting/sex tapes. Overall nice and spicy and just fantastic characterization. Also absolutely crucial is the companion art also by dave penaltyboxboxbox which is literally like the ice cream on top of the cake for such a wonderful fic

silver platter by @wewentcarracing (E, 10k)

getting together fic featuring long suffering estie bestie. Honestly the fic is amazing and spicy and just so well written but Esteban’s ever growing dismay is lowkey my favorite part. Works as a pretty great lance character study as well.

Brocedes

Roseberg’s vs haminkton by @jean----ralphio (E, 16k)

Tattoo artist versus flower shop, except they’re rivals. This is like…just how they are honestly. Absolutely stunning ensemble cast and absolutely hilarious buildup to lewis and Nico finally getting together. Side order of seb just being a massive shit stirrer which honestly I think is the role he belongs in

The real reason nico rosberg retired by periwinkle_bumper_cars (G, 3k)

Secret Santa (gone horribly wrong). This is…..also just how they are unfortunately. The rancidest of vibes but also screeching-out-loud funny.

will be updating this on the reg so stay tuned for more good fics. also maybe if I am very lucky someday I will have my own fics to add to the list. definitely I need to become slightly more insane before I can start writing for this fandom but believe you me I’m well on my way.

[ailendolin]

Rewatching Moist and Magical for the first time and omg, I forgot how much I love this play.

Luke's Sandra means everything to me.

Her shock when Maureen pulls off her hat and the whole hair bit

"Had I known. Had I known!"

Handling that heckler in character. "When I'm talking to my friend, fucking shut up!" Luke at his best

basically translating her whole vision just to make sure AJ gets it

pointing out that Loch Lomond is a real loch (there's even a song about it which I love and have now stuck in my head again)

"MAUREEN!" *said in increasingly dramatic ways*

"Got who? Who?" Luke is honestly such a great actor. Same goes for the bit in the beginning where he's grieving the third sister. Grieving!Luke is one of my favourites because he plays it so well

"Go forth, my boy! The first male witch!" YAY!

AJ's Maureen is just great in general.

randomly breaking into song when Sandra tastes the cake

"They say the moister it is-" "-the more you see." This sounds so wrong

the whole confusion over the loch bit of Sandra's vision

"Just passing the loch after locking up the shop." I feel like this should be on a t-shirt

Telling Jasper to run home instead of letting him help her always makes emotional. Same with Sandra telling Jasper to hide. They care so much for that boy

Sam's Jasper is naughty and owns my heart.

the accent!

"Ah ken. That's Scottish for 'I know'." And the middle fingers!

"I want to be a boy witch." And we're rooting for you, Jasper

"He looked a little bit like Henry Cavill if he had a wasting disease."

The Witchfinder General being an app to find local witches in the area - ngl that would be a great app

"Little boy, come hide with me." Sam breaking character as he reacts to it is so funny. "Absolutely not! No way! I've never seen more red flags in my fucking life. You're actually holding a fucking red flag!"

"I rather suggest you invite me in." Jasper, grinning, "No."

The last supper bit is so clever. Well done, Sam

"KAME! HAME! FOR SCOTLAND! HA!" This is the perfect ending

Tom's Witchfinder General is so intense.

"That's how I rollllllll"

"I work for the thrill of it. The thhhhhhhhrill."

That whole bit about having memorised the index and Sam throwing him under the bus with, "Please read it to me."

"Aberdeen is large." "Nope." "Aberdeen is medium-sized." "Nope."

"Witches, they're just hearsooth and foretell." Wtf, Tom?

"I've gone." XD

the way he just appears behind AJ in the background and moves from curtain to curtain is genuinely creepy (until he starts to make it funny. Then it's hilarious)

the fucking nipple clamps thing. Wtf was even that?

In short, I love this play, I love the witches and I'm glad Jasper gets to be the first male witch and defeats the Witchfinder General.

[feelingsshmeelings]

Recently watched inside out 2 and I'm not even gonna lie, I left that theater with tears in my eyes and the FATTEST crush on Anxiety. I can't help it okay I love me some crinkly girl failure creature 😔

Anxiety x Reader: relationship headcanons

INCLUDES: GN! Reader, Fellow Emotion! Reader, fluff, some down bad behavior on Anxiety's part, very light angst, she/they pronouns for Anxiety

📋 It probably takes a while for her to settle into the relationship. Not to say that she dislikes being with you (of course not!!), but she's anxious. Like that's literally their whole thing. They have a hard time believing that you're actually... yknow, WITH THEM. Like, WILLINGLY.

📋 Eventually though, once you've given her plenty of reassurance, she'll start easing into the relationship

📋 Literally such a planner!! You can bet they've got a whole notebook dedicated to your relationship. Possible date ideas, things you like, things you dislike, important couple milestones to look forward to, etc. She's managing both of your calenders while ALSO crafting a detailed step-by-step plan of the next few years of your future together

📋 Anxiety is definitely the type to ramble— not just about they're job of looking after Riley but also about pretty much everything else. This one's a yapper, what can I say

📋 It's probably an insecurity of hers (she fears sometimes that her constant chatting may come off as annoying), but if you take the time to actually listen to what she has to say? Ask questions?? Offer your own insight???

📋 One word: marriage

📋 It's pretty much canon that she's prone to nervous breakdowns and insomnia. You should like... help her with that 👀. Guide her towards her massage chair when she needs it (or even better: offer a massage yourself). Cuddle with them in their bed, or yours. Talk them through their thoughts. Whatever works for the both of you

📋 I see Anxiety as being on the spectrum (ngl I feel like most of the emotions got that tism in them). That being said, physical touch is... well, they're not ADVERSE to it exactly, but it's probably not something they partake in often. Like it's not something she'll initiate, if that makes sense?? She's just very conscious of everyone else's personal space and would hate to overstep any boundaries

📋 THAT BEING SAID... Please hold her hand every now and then. Maybe just slide your hand into theirs while the two of you are standing side-by-side at the control panel, or give hers a small squeeze whenever she starts spiraling. She finds it grounding

📋 (they're bright red the whole time, constantly asking if you're really okay with it or if her palms are clammy or if your comfortable in the position or if—)

📋 PETNAMESSS!!!! Her go-to for you is "sweetie", or "love" if they're feeling particularly bold

📋 Will literally melt into a puddle at whatever nickname you choose to give them tho. Like you could give them the cheesiest petname on the planet and they'd still go all squiggly mouthed and flapping their hands

📋 Likes to take initiative in most things, INCLUDING your relationship, so don't be surprised if she's the one taking charge while putting together dates or while you two are at work in Riley's mind. Sometimes they can be a bit overbearing, but just have a sit down with her, let her know how you feel, and she'll gladly step down and let you get shit done

📋 COM👏MU👏NI👏CA👏TION!! VERY IMPORTANT TO HER!!!! Like I said before, they overthink a lot, so it definitely helps if you're honest and open about how you feel

📋 Working inside the mind of a teenage girl can be pretty stressful, so being able to wind down with you at the end of the day is definitely something Anxiety looks forward to

📋 Being able to ramble with you and get their thoughts off their chest is something they love, yes, but they also enjoy the moments of quiet you two share. You could be sitting at the same table, maybe you're reading a book or drawing, meanwhile she's jotting down a new workout regimen for the upcoming hockey season. Or maybe you're having a shared cup of cocoa while admiring the view from headquarters. Or maybe you're playing with their hair while they lay their head on your lap...

📋 She enjoys being able to simply exist with you. No thoughts about the future, no worries about what's yet to come. Just you and them in your own peaceful little bubble 🧡

I LOVE HER SO MUCH YOU DONT EVEN KNOW AJSJSKAKAKA!! Definitely planning on writing more for her soon! The other emotions too (feel free to send in an ask guysss I want ideas so bad 👀👉👈)

[otherone12]

I BEG FOR MORE BASEMENT GEE FICS

I've been obsessed with your account forever but these last few Basement Gerard Way fics make me need more of them. I love seeing Gerard as the comic-obsessed, introverted, whiny, trash-smelling, wood-scented geek in the room. I love your fics, I give you the best of luck, you deserve recognition or whatever in this

Black Coffee

(damn, i'm awful choosing titles)

Basement!Gerard Way x Reader

-> Masterlist

HEYYY!!! OMG THANK U SMMM!!! ngl I almost cried at this (yes, I'm emotional)… so consider this a gift 4 uuu!!! As well as writing the fic, I also wrote some drabbles of this relationship… I hope you enjoy them!! I'm so so sorry for taking so long, school was killing me (it still is, but I'll try to keep posting often). There are more basement!gee fics coming soon, and I'm writing a “Ray x FilmNerd!Reader” request!… I hope you like it! <3

Summary: You've finally talked to the quiet, awkward guy who always comes to the coffee shop where you work (those drabbles are about him being awkward/cute/nerdy with his new - and first - girlfriend).

- Word Count: 2.730 + 5 Drabbles

- Warnings: None :)

- Ps: I'll not use y/n…

- Ps2: I'm brazilian, so english is not my first language... sorry if i wrote something wrong.

______________________________________

1st Person.

It was just another day at the coffee shop, where the morning crowd shuffled in like clockwork. I had my usual regulars, the early risers, the business types, the half-awake students. Nothing unusual. That is, until I saw him.

He looked a bit out of place. Messy black hair falling in his face, an oversized jacket that looked like it hadn’t seen a washing machine in a while, and a worn sketchbook tucked under his arm. He shifted nervously as he got in line, eyes darting from the menu to the floor, like he was afraid to make eye contact with anyone.

When he finally made it to the counter, he hesitated, glancing up at me, then quickly looked back down.

-  Hi, welcome! - I greeted, with my usual smile - What can I get started for you?

- Uh-  a coffee, black, please... - He muttered, really nervous, scratching the back of his neck. His eyes were wide behind his greasy messy hair. 

He handed me cash with slightly trembling hands. The whole interaction probably only took a few seconds, but it felt… different. Like he was processing everything in slow motion, or like maybe he’d never seen a girl before.

He murmured a quiet “thanks” and shuffled off to wait for his coffee, sneaking glances at me when he thought I wasn’t looking. I shook my head, stifling a small laugh. Maybe he was a little weird, sure… but something about him was interesting. 

Well, he started to come here every single day, always at the same time, carrying either a comic book or his sketchbook. He's always wearing a worn-out band T-shirt or an old sweatshirt, and his hair always looks like it's never been shampooed. He never talks to anyone, and no matter how many times I’ve handed him a coffee, he never seemed to get used to this, always avoiding my eyes and muttering. 

After a few weeks passed, I observed his weird way of acting, and that made me even more curious about him. Taking advantage of the fact that, by some miracle, the cafeteria was empty except for him, I went to the little table in the corner of the cafeteria. He didn't take his eyes off the comic book he was reading, until I cleared my throat.

- Hi… - I started, and he looked up at me with wide eyes. I felt a rush of nervousness myself but forced a smile to hide it. - Sooo… I just realized I’ve never asked your name. 

- H-Hi - He blinked, clearly taken off guard. His cheeks immediately flushed, and he muttered under his breath. - Uh… M-my name’s G-gerard… 

- Well, nice to meet you! - I sat in front of him, introducing me to him. But as soon as I said my name, my gaze fell on the comic book he was reading. - IIs that a 1940's Batman #1 spring issue?!

- Y-yeah.. are you… into comics? - he still looked a little shy, but his eyes lit up. 

- I kinda like the art of it… - I explained, - Can I sit?

- S-sure… - a light smile appeared on his face when I sat in front of him. - D-don't you have to… uh… work?

He tucked a strand of hair behind his ear, still not looking directly at me and with a slightly pink face. 

- Nah… If a client shows up, I'll run there - chuckling, I gave another look at his comic - So… some considerations about that comic? Is it nice?

- Y-yeah… I'm kinda obsessed with Robin's costume… - He looked at me with a little uncertainty, analyzing if I really wanted to hear it. I nodded, with a smile. -  b-because it's incredibly dangerous, like he has no body armor and he wears the brightest colors… and it makes no sense.

The last thing I knew was that I got lost in our conversation, all of his opinions about the art, the lore and everything. I swear I never imagined we would have this detail in common... little by little I realized he loosened up a little, but it seems like he still has a lot hidden under his wrinkled sweatshirt… 

Unfortunately, customers started showing up and I had to get back to work. 

- So… I gotta go now - I sighed, standing up. - But it was nice to talk to you, Gerard… I guess you will be here tomorrow?  

- I-i guess so… - he muttered, playing with the sleeve of his sweatshirt. - Was… uh…  nice to talk to you. See you tomorrow then.

I smiled at him, and he did the same thing, and for the first time I saw how beautiful his eyes were.  Well… there I go, back to my work, watching him leave the place. 

Next day was going normal and at the usual time, he showed up, with his scarf, his black hoodie and his messy hair. Gerard walked to the counter to place his order. Unlike usual, he was a little more confident, although he still stuttered a little when placing his order. 

- Hey, Gerard! - I smiled at him, was his gaze met mine - usual?

- Y-yeah, please. - He stood up awkwardly while I prepared his coffee.

- So… - I handed him his coffee. - any new comic stuff?

He looked confused, and a shy smile appeared on his face before he blushed a little and picked up the drink. 

- I found some new stuff at the comic store… - his voice is a bit louder than a whisper - I-I can show you… 

I glanced around the place, seeing that it was empty, except for one couple who were at some corner. 

- Yeah sure!

Again, the time seems not to pass, and this talk with him turned into some kind of routine for us... Asking him about details of comics and hearing him explain everything… I'm not the ‘nerd kind’ like him, but I knew enough to keep the conversation going.  

A few days later, as we were into our usual banter about comics and superheroes, something felt different. Gerard seemed a bit... bolder. His shoulders weren’t as hunched, and he was smiling more, albeit shyly, like he was starting to get even more comfortable with me, like we were friends... I couldn't shake the feeling that maybe we could be more.

 I caught him glancing my way a few times, a thoughtful look on his face, like he was debating something.

- Hey… uh… - He glanced up at me,  - I was wondering… d-do you want to… uh…  I mean, only if you want to… maybe come over t-to my place? I have more comics there... like, a lot more. We could, um, look through them together?

I blinked a few times, surprised by the sudden invitation. We've become so close in just a few months, it's crazy.

- Sounds pretty nice! - my reaction made his blush light a little - I’d love to see what you’ve got. 

- Y-yeah! I mean, since you like comics... you’ll probably enjoy it. - Gerard’s smiles grow, he gets excited every word that slips out of his mouth - And, uh, I could show you my... collection. It’s not, like, super impressive or anything... but... yeah… you  should come tomorrow… 

- Sure! I’ll be there!

When I arrived there, I was surprised. The basement was even more than I imagined, a treasure trove of comics, action figures, posters, DVDs, and CDs stacked on every available surface. It looked like the ultimate geek haven, where every corner had a story to tell. In addition, there were several drawings and sketches of people that he himself had created, as well as piles of sketchbooks on the floor.

- Holy shit! - I blurted out, spinning in place to take everything in. - This is awesome! You have, like, what… a billion comics here?!

Gerard shuffled nervously by the door, scratching the back of his neck. 

- A-actually... it's not that much... b-but, um...- His face flushed a little as he responded,

- Are you kidding me? - I interrupted, wide-eyed, as I reached out to touch a vintage Batman figurine still in its box. - Oh. My. God! This is collector's stuff... You’ve got first editions, limited prints... This is incredible!

- I-I’m kinda... uh... a fan of... you know, comics. A-and stuff. - He smiled shyly, his fingers fiddling with the hem of his hoodie.

- Dude, that’s awesome! - I said, completely genuine, scanning a shelf crammed with Marvel and DC titles, mixed in with indie graphic novels. Everything was in meticulous order, and it was clear he cared about this stuff more than most people would understand. - I had no idea you had so much cool stuff down here.

- Y-yeah, well... I don’t, uh, really show a lot of people this stuff, - he admitted, his eyes darting nervously to the floor. - It’s kind of... my space, I guess. It’s... messy, and maybe a little... weird.

I stepped forward just a little bit more, close enough to feel the warmth radiating from him.

His breath hitched, and he swallowed hard, looking at me like he was trying to solve some impossible puzzle. 

- I... um... you’re... really close,- he stammered, his voice shaky. - I mean, not that I... mind... or anything, it’s just that I don’t... I don’t usually... have people down here... or... or close to me like this.

I could feel his nervousness, but there was something vulnerable about it that made me want to close the gap even more. His eyes locked onto mine, and this time, he didn’t look away.

We got close enough for our lips to touch, then he involuntarily pressed his lips on mine.

It lasted only a few seconds before his eyes widened and he pulled back in shock, his face burning. 

- I-I'm sorry - he stammered, hands trembling as he scratched the back of his neck, his voice faltering. - I shouldn't… I'm really sorry… i'm not used to having people around me, and i just… uh… kinda where too much-

His words trailed off into a mess of nervousness, like he couldn't even form a coherent sentence.

Before he could keep trying to apologize, I leaned in again, pressing my lips to his, more confident this time. He froze, completely still, like he didn’t know whether to react or if he should apologize for the first kiss again. His lips remained soft and unresponsive against mine, and I could feel his panic radiating off him.I backed off a little, rubbing his cheek with my thumb.

-y’know…it would be a lot easier if you kissed me back… - I chuckled. Approaching again. 

His eyes widened even more, his whole face lighting up with embarrassment, and he looked like he was trying to process everything happening all at once. His lips parted as if he wanted to say something, but nothing came out. He took a deep breath, glanced away, then back at me. 

- I... I didn’t- uh, I wasn’t… -  He shook his head, a nervous laugh escaping his lips as he rubbed the back of his neck. - I-I’m just... this is really… uh, a lot for me. I mean, I don't know how and…

- Gerard - I said, my voice gentle but teasing.  I couldn’t help but chuckle softly, enjoying the effect I seemed to have on him.  - Relax. Just kiss me back...

Our lips met again, but this time he didn't remain static. His cold hand moved up to my neck, while his thumb pressed lightly on my jaw. Our lips moved gently as he seemed to be really enjoying every second. 

When our lips parted again, he was redder than ever, but his eyes remained on my face. He bit his lip, nervously.

- Was this… uh… nice? - he asked, voice barely above a whisper. His cheeks were still flushed, and his gaze darted between me and the floor, like he couldn’t settle on one thing. - I mean, I... I don’t know if I did it right. I’ve only really read about these things, you know? Like, I mean, there’s all those superhero issues where they do the whole kiss thing, but none of them are... uh... well, they’re not like... this.

He rambled on, nervously tugging at the sleeve of his shirt, clearly overthinking every word. At first I was afraid I'd gone too far, but as he didn't refuse and even worried about whether I'd done well, I didn't regret it at all.

- It was perfect, - I said softly, brushing a lock of hair away from his face. - You didn’t need a superhero comic to do it right.

- O-Okay... good... I mean, I’m... I’m glad. But I don’t... I don’t really know what this means, you know? Like, am I... are we... Are we, um, dating? Because, uh… - He faltered, eyes darting to the side as if trying to avoid my gaze. - I’m not really good with... social stuff, and... I mean, I know the whole ‘dating’ thing is, like, a level-up situation, right? Like, uh, like when Spider-Man gets his suit upgrade and-

- I think you’re overthinking it, Gerard. It’s not like it was some complex time travel stuff - I chuckled, with a soft smile  - And… about the “dating thing”... do you want to be my boyfriend?

- I-I do! - His shining eyes and his huge sudden smile turned into some shy look, a bit unbelieving, his voice was barely audible, like he was testing the words out. He caught himself, clearing his throat as if he was afraid of sounding too eager. - But, like, are you sure? I mean, I’m not... exactly, uh... the smoothest guy in the room, and I’m kind of, uh... awkward, and-

- Gerard… - I cooped his face, looking deep into his eyes - You are perfect.. I mean… I think you’re perfect. 

- Really? - His eyes searched mine, like he was still trying to process it. - Okay. I... I’m... I mean, I’ll try not to, like, mess this up.

- You’re not going to mess this up,- I said, leaning into him. - Trust me… 

he nodded his head in shy agreement, while a small, insecure smile appeared at the corner of his mouth.

- Can I... kiss you again?

- Of course you can.

I barely finished the sentence, his lips crushed into mine. It was slower, more confident, though still laced with that same shy excitement. It felt like the start of something special, something that didn’t need to be perfect, but was perfect all the same.

- I... I’m really glad you’re... okay with me. - his forehead rested against mine, and he let out a soft, relieved laugh.  - All of me. Even... the awkward parts. 

I knew the next day would be different from normal. Same coffee shop, same people, but knowing that the weird, shy, nerdy boy was now my boyfriend, so I couldn't be happier. The way I feel more comfortable with him than with anyone else is what makes me sure we were making the right decision.

I was behind the counter, wiping it down, when the familiar jingle of the café door caught my attention. I looked up to see Gerard standing there, his usual nervous posture gone, replaced by something… different. His shoulders were straighter, and he didn’t hesitate as he walked right up to the counter.

- Hey, Gee! - I greeted with a bright smile, already reaching for the coffee pot.

But before I could say another word, he leaned over the counter and kissed me, firm and a little awkward, but full of this newfound confidence. I froze, eyes wide, and for a second, all I could hear was the quick thumping of my heart.

He pulled back, he cleared his throat. 

- Uh… I-I did it right? -  his face immediately turning pink - I mean... I’ve never... dated before, so... I-I thought 

I couldn’t help the giggle that bubbled out of me, my heart melting at his adorable uncertainty. 

- You did perfect,- I reassured him, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. His whole face lit up with relief.

- Okay, good, - he murmured, rubbing the back of his neck with a shy smile. - I... I was worried I might’ve

- Relax,- I laughed, giving his hand a squeeze before letting go. - I’m just gonna make your coffee now, okay?

He nodded, that sweet, hesitant smile growing even bigger, and I turned to get his usual order, feeling my own cheeks heat up. This was Gerard, still awkward, still nervous, but there was something different in his eyes today. Something that made my heart skip a beat.

______________________________________

Drabbles:

(These are disconnected scenes that I think go well with this fic.)

1- Holding Hands

As usual, I sat by his side on the coffee table, he was calm, with a pen in his hand, focused on his sketchbook. His other hand was unoccupied, and without thinking twice, I moved mine to meet his, interlacing our fingers. The moment he felt my skin on his hand, he froze, slowly turning his face so that our gazes met.

- Is that okay? - I asked, afraid of maybe causing him some discomfort.

- Uh… yeah, I just… didn’t expect that… - A shy smile appeared between his stuterning words. - But it’s uh… nice.

- Good. - Moving closer, I teased him, placing a kiss on his cheek. - I didn’t think of moving it anyway.

___________________________________________

2- So... You Like Hearing Me?

This was one of those evenings that we just wanted to spend together. Gerard and I were re-watching Star Wars, and he started to explain every detail of one of those scenes, while I paid attention in every single word. But he stopped.

- Am being annoying again, aren’t I? - He sighed, scratching the back of his neck.

- No way! - I interrupted, my eyes lighting up with excitement. - I love hearing you talk about it. Keep going!

He blinked, stunned by my enthusiasm, and his cheeks flushed a delicate pink. A bashful smile spread across his face as he picked up where he left off, his voice even more excited now that he knew I was genuinely interested.

___________________________________________

3- You Are Not Ashamed Of Me?

We went out to the comic store. On our way there, I held his hand, and he looked at me, with wide eyes that I didn't understand at first.

- We are… uh… in public - Gerard looked around, worried - People can look and-

- And what? - I cut him off, chuckling.

- You don’t mind being seen with me? - His insecure tone was so damn cute.

Not at all! I want them to see - I squeezed his hand, smiling at him - You are my boyfriend, right?

He nodded, and I pressed my lips against his, a quick kiss that made him seem radiant

___________________________________________

4- Movie Night

As the weeks went by, it became common for me to go to his house to watch movies, and this time was no different. While we were cuddled up watching the movie, his hand naturally rested on my thigh, and when he realized it, panic overtook him.

- I'm s-sorry - he moved his hand quickly.

- Don't be - I smiled softly, and caught his hand before he could move it away completely. - I liked.

His breath hitched, and he swallowed, his fingers resuming their gentle touch. Feeling my encouragement, he allowed himself to relax, and soon we were cuddled even closer together.

___________________________________________

5- First 'I Love You'

We were sitting on his bed, laughing about something silly, when the laughter died down, and they just looked at each other. Gerard felt a warmth spread through his chest, and before he knew it, the words tumbled out of his mouth:

- I love you.

As soon as he said it, he froze. His face turned bright red, and he immediately started to backtrack. 

- I-I'm sorry, - he stammered, panic flashing in his eyes. - I didn’t mean to... I mean, I did, but I know it’s too soon, and I-

- Hey, - I interrupted, placing a finger on his lips to stop his anxious rambling. - I love you too.

His eyes widened, the fear in them melting away into relief. 

- You... you do? - he asked, almost disbelieving.

- Yes, Gerard.

______________________________________

~ Sooo that's it! Lemme know if you liked! And if you have any ideas, my requests are open!

[analbedo]

📔 that boy’s a liar ft asshole virgin killer jock bf childe

ngl im having Bad Childe Thoughts™️ sorry he’s such nonconner bait like skskfkkdks. also this was not supposed to be this long sadly i just got too silly wit it >_> also it’s been so long since i wrote i had to keep looking words up to make sure i used them right asksjdjsk i was staring at my phone for like 10 minutes bc there’s no way sinisterly is a word 🤨 anyway.

i could easily imagine him being, like, an asshole jock, probably plays some rich boy sport like lacrosse 😭 and every time the school year starts he’s always looking for another cute freshman to fuck. he had a thing for virgins, and no one was more virginal than a fresh out of high school girl, eager to find her first boyfriend, completely oblivious to the nature of men. (well, really, men like him.)

𐐪 warning: this fic contains dark content, please read my dark content disclaimer before continuing. minors dni.

🦢cw: virginity kink, dubcon/sexual coercion, noncon/rape (both implied and explicit, the word rape is also used), misogyny (i’m sorry women🥺), emotional manipulation, unhealthy relationships, unconsensual nude sharing, degradation, unconsensual creampie-ing (is there a better word for this?), hair pulling, mouth spitting, contraception mention⁉️

° 𐐪 ♡ 𐑂 nsfw below the cut! 𐐪 ♡ 𐑂 °

and that’s what led ajax to you, the bright eyed, overly naive barely legal cheerleader. most cheerleaders were too slutty for his tastes, but he could tell from the innocent way you swung your hips and nervousness around guys that you’d probably never had a boyfriend, let alone sex.

bagging you was too easy, he almost felt bad for you. he’d barely finished inviting you to one of his games when you’d excitedly accepted. afterward, him convincing you to go to a frat party later that night was child’s play (no pun intended). from there on, you were putty in his hands. ajax had no real intentions of dating you, you were a bit too innocent for his tastes. but, when you offhandedly mentioned you were saving yourself for “the one” (seriously?), he realized he had no other choice.

nothing really changed after you made it official, you still went to his games and parties with him, and sent him nudes that he was definitely sending to his friends’ groupchat. ajax, the notorious virgin killer, and his new victim. the general consensus was that you were the hottest one he found, which was an accomplishment, but his friends teased him for how long it was taking for him to smash— “you’re losing your touch there, casanova” kaeya texted him after he updated the chat on his latest date with you.

ajax rolled his eyes, but it was true. you were really not trying to give it up, even if you were blackout drunk, slurring your words at parties, even when he lit candles and set out rose petals for your one month anniversary, even when he said he’d never tell anyone. nothing was working, and he was starting to get annoyed. nutting on you face, tits, and ass wasn’t cutting it; if anything he was starting to get more and more sexually frustrated. he wouldn’t force you, he wasn’t that type of guy, but damn it if he wasn’t running out of ways to try to convince you to let him actually put his dick inside you; he’d even settle for just head at this point.

ajax reached his breaking point one night after a game. his team won the championship finals for their division, or something, which meant they had a solid chance at playing to win the state title. surely, he deserved something for that. so, when you invited him over to celebrate after, he was expecting more than you just surprising him with a homemade dinner after his shower.

“that’s it?” ajax asked, looking in disbelief at the table, his voice gradually growing louder and meaner as he spoke. “you fucking cook for me all the time, why the fuck would you think this is a surprise?”

you felt your heart sink a little bit; you’d put way more effort into it than your usual dishes, and you thought he’d might like a nice, fulfilling dinner after working so hard. ajax had little outbursts like this all the time, but he assured you that’s just how relationships are, and who would give up a tall, handsome, perfectly sculpted redhead athlete just because he’s a little temperamental.

you remained quiet; usually, this is where he’d apologize and say he had a bad day, or was tired. but, his tirade kept going.

“we’ve been together three fucking months and you’re still acting like the same boring virgin bitch as when we started dating. i thought for once you’d stop fucking neglecting me and finally fucking put out.” ajax reached up to run a hand through his damp auburn hair, his towel slipping down ever so slightly as he did so. you felt your face grow warm in embarrassment and desire. you wanted to wait, but him borderline flashing you sent butterflies down your stomach to between your legs.

“i’m sorry,” you said meekly, genuinely meaning it. you tried explaining how scared you were to do it for the first time; stds, pregnancy, or having your cherry popped, which you imagined would be more painful than it sounds. ajax always gave you the same responses, that he was clean, he’d pull out, he’d be gentle. you had no reason to deny him, really, you saw a future with him; and, if he’d dated you this long without having sex, you imagined he’d want to be with you forever once you said yes.

but still, something in your body was telling you to stop, leave, run. as many butterflies as he gave you, there were still cold claws of dread and fear dragging in your chest at the thought of sleeping with him. “i’m just not ready yet, baby. i’m sorry.” you replied, unable to meet his eye.

that was probably a good thing, because the look of disgust he casted would’ve been enough to make you break down in tears. “not… ready?” ajax asked in an angry low timbre. “you’re a fucking adult, for christ’s sake, what the fuck do you mean you’re not ready? it’s fucking sex, not a marriage proposal.” he huffed incredulously, running both hands through his hair now while throwing his head back. he turned away from you, finally allowing you to lift your gaze from the floor. staring at his back, you realized just how muscular your boyfriend was— and tall too.

if he really wanted it, he could easily take it. you wouldn’t stand a chance.

the thought alone made your throat swell and eyes prick. you never thought he could be that kind of guy; and if he is, wouldn’t it be better to just let him do what he wants? maybe he’d go easy on you if you said yes now.

“everyone else on the team is probably getting ass at that after party, and i’m fucking stuck here playing house with a childish ass bitch,” ajax groaned. his words felt like punches straight to the gut; you instinctively held your abdomen in response. he turned around to you, his face now free of anger, but full of… something. you didn’t know what, but it was sending shivers down your spine. “you know, this is the longest i’ve ever gone without having sex,” he said in a neutral tone, slowly walking around the table to approach you. you winced as he lifted your chin up, bringing his face uncomfortably close to yours.

“look at me,” ajax said softly, but sinisterly. you forced your tear filled eyes to meet his, but not without trembling in fear. “you’re neglecting me, you know. isn’t it a little unfair to deprive me of intimacy, when i’ve been doing everything i can to make you comfortable? why are you so scared of me, hm? why don’t you trust me?” you merely blinked in response; if you talked you knew you wouldn’t be able to hold back sobbing. “i don’t neglect you, do i? is there anything you want that i don’t for do?” you pondered the question; though he was rarely ever nice or this soft spoken, he had a point— physically, he’d given you all the cuddles and forehead kisses you could want.

still, that wasn’t the same thing as having sex? or, was it? who’s to say he finds cuddling as intimate as lovemaking? maybe sex was to him what cuddling was to you— maybe you were neglecting him. you shook your head softly in reply.

“good girl, you’re right. i’ve done everything i can to prove you can trust me, does that not matter to you? will i never be good enough for you?” ajax’s voice sounded sincere, but the cold, perverse look in his eyes still made you doubt. “i’ve been so patient, baby. i could’ve taken it any time i wanted, but i waited for you. you gonna keep me waiting forever?”

something about his logic wasn’t quite adding up to you— but, it didn’t matter. your brain was too clogged with fear to compute anything. plus, he confirmed what you tried so hard to not acknowledge all along: if he wanted you, he could have you, whether you wanted it or not. your heart thudded in your chest.

you felt guilty for depriving your boyfriend for so long, but that was overshadowed by your fear of what he’d do to you if you kept kept saying no. “ok,” you whispered meekly, so soft you were surprised he even heard it.

or, maybe he didn’t. it probably wouldn’t have made much of a difference.

ajax smiled, though this time his grin of approval filled you with cold terror instead of giddy excitement. “i knew you’d do the right thing.”

***

“shouldn’t we use condoms?” you asked. you were sitting on your bed, wrapping your naked body with your fuzzy pink blanket. maybe you were as childish as he said. the more you thought about it, the less you wanted to do it, but, it was too late mow.

“they’re too small for me, but, don’t worry, i’m clean. can’t let an std fuck up my lacrosse career, you know?” ajax said casually, walking towards the bed.

“no, not for that. i meant for- i mean, like, i’m not on, like, birth control or anything—” you stammered.

“oh that’s fine, i was gonna pull out anyway. can’t let a baby fuck up my career, either,” he replied, chuckling at his own joke before giving you a light peck. “plus, you’re too hot to knock up right now, it’d ruin your body. i’d save that for after you’ve already hit the wall. anyway,” he said sliding back on the bed and leaning against the wall. “come here princess, i’ll show you what to do.”

you turned around and crawled toward him, sitting back on your heels. his comment about your body momentarily snapped you out of your fearful haze; were you really about to give it up to such an asshole?

ajax twirled his finger, motioning you. “face that way, towards the door. and get on your hands and knees”

“like this?”

“perfect. now—” instead of giving instructions, ajax put his hand between your shoulder blades and pushed you down roughly. “you’re gonna stay like that.”

it was kind of humiliating being in such a lewd pose; you’d always imagined your first time would be passionate missionary sex, not getting your back blown out. ajax shuffled behind you on the bed; he was taking his boxers off.

“okay, you ready? i’m gonna be honest, it’s pretty big, and it’s gonna hurt a lot before it starts to feel good, alright?” ajax said as he positioned himself behind you, his hands on your hips as he slowly dragged the tip of his dick against your vulva. “just keep taking it, though,” he said, lowering his voice for the rest of his sentence: “i didn’t wait all this time just to get blue balled.”

ajax lined himself up with your hole, and you sucked in a breath as you felt the slight pressure of his tip on the outer rim. you winced, scrunching your face as you prepared for him to actually go in.

sadly, nothing could’ve prepared you for that type of pain.

“fuck— ajax stop, no, it hurts— it hurts too much—” you cried out, practically screaming.

“tch. stop being so dramatic, i’m not even halfway in,” ajax paused his speech as he pushed into you further, eliciting a yelp. the searing pain was almost enough to render you unconscious, and, god, how you wish it actually did. “it’ll hurt less once you’re used to it. relax, for fucks sake. the more you panic the more it hurts.”

you wished you could heed his advice— but, then again, what does he know? he’d only ever inflicted the pain, never received it. there’s no way he could comprehend how horrific it felt being split open, your body resisting every inch but still being made to take it. the pain came from between your legs and in your head, too, the few fleeting thoughts you had besides how much it hurt questioning how he could put you through this, if he really loved you, he knew you weren’t ready.

you abandoned speech altogether, merely sobbing as ajax continued to push his thick cock inside you.

ajax paused again. “crying’s only hot if i can see it. shut the fuck up, you’re killing the mood.” when you didn’t stop sobbing, he grabbed you by the ponytail, jerking your towards him so he could mutter in your ear; the shock was enough to shut you up, at least momentarily. “i swear i get soft ‘cause you keep whining like a bitch, you’re gonna suck it til it’s hard again, and i’ll make sure it hurts a whole lot fucking worse.” he let go of your hair, your body flopping limply back onto your bed.

you took a deep breath, biting down on your arm to silence yourself, and prepared for the worst.

ajax was angry now, and, being the cause of his agitation, he happily took it out you. you bit down so hard you could’ve sworn you drew blood as he continued to shove his cock inside you; his thrusts were rough, it felt as he was tearing you open. just as your brain grew delirious with pain, you felt one final shove before the warmth of his body was against your ass.

“there, that wasn’t so bad, was it, baby? i don’t even think you’re bleeding,” ajax cooed. you were so beat down you couldn’t even speak, but he didn’t really need a reply; he didn’t care how bad it was for you, because it was perfect for him. “but i know you’re still a virgin, or, were a virgin, ‘cause you’re so fucking tight.” he moaned as he held your hips and pushed into further, somehow managing to get even deeper. this caused a new type of discomfort; less of the searing torture of him going in, but a nonetheless dull, aching pain in your lower abdomen.

“fuck, you feel so good, pussy’s gripping me so tight like it’s made for me. think i just hit your cervix, too.” ajax’s hands traveled from your hips to your ass, massaging the soft flesh on either side. “you’re so fucking hot, i could probably cum just from this.”

panic became the new sensation that took you over. “but you said you’d pull out,” you cried, trying a last ditch attempt to crawl away from him.

ajax easily held you against him again, and sighed in annoyance. “i said i could, not that i would, stupid slut. you’re the last girl alive i’d knock up; who’d wanna spend 18 years with your annoying ass?”

tears returned to your eyes; is this really how he viewed you? was this entire relationship just a ruse to get in your pants?

well, it didn’t matter, at this point. he was already there, and wasn’t leaving until he finished. you had no choice but to take it.

ajax clicked his tongue before gently sliding out of you, barely an inch. he showed no mercy thrusting back into you, though, making that dull ache resonate again. he slowly pulled out again, leaving only the tip inside.

“damn, you’re pretty wet for a bitch that says she doesn’t want it,” he sneered. ajax slammed his dick back inside you; strangely, it didn’t hurt nearly as much as the first time, minus him hitting your cervix. “but virgins are all the same,”ajax continued, picking up the pace at which he rutted into you. “you pretend you don’t want it to ‘cause of your purity bullshit, but the second i’ve got you bent over you start creamin’ on me like a porn star, can’t help yourself.”

the pain of him sliding into you was gone at this point; you could only feel the drag of his cock against your walls, rubbing against a spot that made ecstasy shoot through you. even the ache from him going too deep started to feel pleasurable. you couldn’t help but moan as waves of euphoria washed over you.

“yeah, you like that, baby?” ajax purred, before sending a sharp smack to your ass. he chuckled hearing you moan at that, too. “damn, you’re a masochist, too? didn’t think a pure little princess would be such a whore in bed.” he slapped your ass again, before reaching around to grab your neck and pull you towards him and titling your head back so he could look into your face. “bet you’re sorry for making me wait, huh? fucking tease,” he snapped, before spitting into your mouth. “swallow it.”

you did as you were told, disgusted by the feeling of the warm, foamy liquid landing in your mouth and sliding down your esophagus. he let you go, and you fell again back onto the bed. ajax placed a large hand on your back, pushing you down into the right position.

“keep your back fucking arched,” ajax scolded. with one hand pressing you into the sheets, and one firmly grasping the softness of your hip, he rutted into you, harder, and faster, each thrust sending shots of pleasure and pain throughout your whole body.

“ah- ajax- slow- fuck- slow down, ‘ts too much- too fast-i can’t—” you moaned, drooling onto the sheets. it felt so wrong, letting him do this to you, with all the awful things he’s said and done— but, you couldn’t help how good it felt taking his dick, every movement adding to the euphoric build up that made your body limo and head dizzy.

the intensity of pain and pleasure increased as he leaned over to hiss in your ear: “you’re gonna take what i fucking give you., slut.” ajax pried open your jaw, and shoved two long fingers into your mouth. “i’m tired of listening to you moaning, i wanna hear you gag for me, princess.” you choked around him, his digits pressing the back of your throat. “yeah, just like that, baby.”

the feeling of his fingers being pushed down your throat as he panted in your ear, while still not letting up on his rapid thrusts was all too stimulating; you felt your body tremble as you came, tranquillizing euphoria spreading your body like electricity. you could vaguely feel your pussy flutter around ajax’s dick, involuntarily clenching around him.

“fuck, you just got so much tighter— ah, wetter, too,” ajax moaned in your ear, burying his head in the crook of your neck and shoulder. “fuck, baby, i’m so close, feels so fucking good—” he cut himself off with his own panting, desperately chasing his own release.

it took you a moment to register his words in your post orgasm haze, but you quickly snapped to attention once you did. you jerked your head to the side so his fingers were no longer massaging the back of your tongue.

“wait- ajax, you said you’d pull out—”

“god, i know, i will, now shut the fuck up before you ruin it,” he groaned. his hands moved to yours, pinning your wrists down while as rhythm grew sloppy.

“ajax, please- you said you wouldn’t, cum inside me— please— please don’t don’t—“ you plead desperately.

“shut up, bitch,” ajax spat. “i know what im fucking doing,”. “i’m not gonna nut inside you— fuck— just need a little more—ah”

“please don’t,” you whispered softly; you were almost certain ajax wouldn’t risk cumming inside you— his reasoning was sound, but there again was that feeling of chilling dread as he kept messily rutting into you.

“fuck, ‘ts so good, so fucking wet— ah” ajax panted, indifferent to your reminders. his speed slowed, now more pronounced pounding. “fuck, fuck, i’m sorry baby, it just feels too fucking good, i can’t— ahh”

you screamed for him to stop, but it was too late; you could feel after his final thrust a warmth inside you, spreading deeper into your core as he wrapped his arms around you. “ajax, stop it— get off— let me go!” you screeched, desperately trying to break free from his grasp.

“sorry, princess, ‘ts too late now. shit, there’s so fucking much, too,” ajax sighed, pushing into you even harder. “fuck.”

nothing could describe the disgust you felt, trapped under your boyfriend’s sweaty, toned body as he forced you to take every last drop of his cum, shamelessly draining his balls inside your limp body. you knew you had to worry about pregnancy or an sti, but those were far from your mind.

the only thing you could think about is how bad you wanted to die.

ajax finally released you, getting off the bed and searching for his clothes. once free, you immediately crawled into a fetal position, tears pooling from your eyes as his cum drooled down your thighs.

epilogue

“sorry about that, by the way,” ajax said nonchalantly, as if he didn’t basically ruin your life. “it’s been so long since i last had sex, i guess i forgot how to pull out in time, so it’s kind of on you for making me wait.”

you said nothing; as humiliated as you were, you couldn’t risk more embarrassment by actually responding to him.

“hey, so, there’s still an after party going on, so i think i’m gonna check that out. you don’t have to worry about coming though— shit, sorry— attending, i know you probably have some shit you wanna work through right now. soooo,” you heard his footsteps head toward your bedroom door. he paused, as if he was waiting for a response, but eventually you heard him leave your room, head out the front door, and drive off. you laid on your bed, curled up in shame, for what felt like an eternity, until the loud text alert from your phone jolted you out of your catatonic state. it was a text— from ajax, surprisingly.

hey. left you a apology gift on your table. hope it helps.

you threw on a bathrobe and shuffled miserably back to your dining room. the elaborate feast you made was embarrassing to look at; all that effort just to get borderline raped by your boyfriend for his special night. you saw the gift he must have been referring to: a wad of bills, that, when you counted them it amounted to $65. you read the messy scrawl on the accompanying note:

enough for a plan b ♡

[istharoth]

In love with a 2-D Character?! Jabberwock Edition!

Blurb: In which you are a character in a popular game the Tokyo debunker boys are coincidentally in love with.

↪ Haru Sagara:

Do you think he has time to play games? Got into it to bond with Ren and hope he can get Ren to get work done sometimes.

Might've also downloaded it because Rui wouldn't stop sobbing about his favourite character.

Would only play after a very long day when he doesn't have time to stop by Rui's bar.

Chose you as his selection because you comforted him in the selection?!?! like hello!?

Has to wait till chapter 3 to see you, which takes him a month or two because of how rarely he plays the game.

When he sees you stalking Ren's favourite character, he gets it, he gets the reasoning. Lockpicking and tracking are all necessary to keep others safe.

He just wishes you would stop using your stigma so it doesn't harm you. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO CREATE DEATH FLAGS?

He wishes he could take care of you. If you want, he could even take care of your children.

You're so nice to his player character too! Like you're the only one who told him you're going to look for hints to break his curse :(((

He would propose right then and there.

Wants to buy merch so bad but,, broke. So he creates his own DIY merch! Plushies are made, keychains? They're a bit over the place but you would like it so he doesn't have any complaints.

ALSO, your home screen lines, some of them are so comforting, it makes him emotional. He loves you.

may or may not listen to your voice actor's other characters confessing or being generally comforting, he likes to think it's you. [Has them on repeat.]

100% has Taiga pull on your banners in exchange for anomalous meat. [The anomalous meat ends up being the Jabberwock-sourced worms, same as the one he gives to Mystery Diner.]

↪ Towa Otonashi

I had to think a while for this ngl.

only plays the game because Haru started it. Selected the same character Haru did, but then he meets you.

You're so silly!!! Like hello? You're so cute and you know flower language?! You also like Haru's favourite character and you're OP!??

You dislike the character he dislikes so he loves you more. You can be haters together <3

Makes flower crowns based on your colour scheme, even makes matching ones with Haru's favourite character. [Ren can suffer]

Also doesn't understand the gacha aspect but would likely blow up his phone if he doesn't get you.

Merch? MERCH OF YOU EXISTS?! You mean he doesn't have to look at you through a screen?

He's using Jabberwock's funding to get a cardboard cutout and bodypillow of you.

Drags you around on his walks in Jabberwock, and you both are on a silly date.

May or may not (will) get jealous when someone else likes you. They can't like you, only he can like you!

Will engage in ship wars, you can only be shipped with Haru's favourite character or him. [The Yandere Towa brain is taking over, *collapses*]

↪ Ren Shiranami:

It was originally just going to be a causal game he wanted to play.

Sees Character Selection Screen, deletes the game. Redownloads it after searching for which one is the best meta-wise.

Is indifferent to you, maybe relates to you.

Your character is very different than what he'd usually be into so even he's unsure why he likes you so much.

Generally speaking, he'd like you automatically if you're meta-based and he's the type of player who uses the skip button, probably will never read the story.

But when he does: Ren: "Oh, I don't like this character." also Ren: "Lmao this character is funny. ...wait a moment." Yeah, he likes them a bit funny. (even when you aren't trying to be funny, you end up making him grin.)

100% going to be a tsundere about liking you.

Gacha rates are horrendous, he's the type of player who loses the hard pity, goes to hard pity again but on single pulls to get you.

Your equipment didn't come home but it's okay, he'll get it on your rerun, he has you at the very least!

Bro spends too much money in game to even buy merch.

Writes fanfiction of you or his ship.

Every week the people wait for him to post the new chapter of his fanfiction of you x reader for the people, mostly for himself, but for the people.

Definitely fights with the fans of the character you don't like on twitter lol.

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