#gosh i feel so bad doing this

[pixlokita]

Being in fandoms is weird because you can dislike a character in some aus and feel bad for them in others or like them in a few depending on people’s interpretations of them

[somnimagus]

Noodles with the WAA for @twistedsamuraizine! This one's pretty old by now, but I still love how poor Taka came out.

Leftovers are open for only 2 more days, with a 15% discount! Profits are going to the Innocence Project, a charity that aims to free the wrongfully convicted.

[id in alt text]

[bunnihearted]

why is life nothing but misery and pain for some people?

[ursachaotic]

Color variations on my human Bill design!! ✨ Trying to figure out what palette I like lol

Also thank you to @notanorderlyknight for feedback and suggestions on the design 🥰 (He challenged me to draw a suit for Bill so this is why he has a suit-ish design now lmao)

[yurki-posts]

Did some more drawings on paper ^^

and my sona is there too

[the-knight-of-destiny]

Okay, so long long ramble under the cut about the nature of Ratgrinder Discourse™, I'll preface by saying that I don't want any of this to get hostile with anyone, because I think that's frankly silly to do over a webshow. That said I am also open to critical discussion so if anything I say doesn't make sense, or doesn't track I'm open to critique on it! Obviously spoilers up to Episode 19 of Fantasy High Junior Year underneath. Also it is a VERY long post, several pages, so don't click read more if that'll be overwhelming/too much at once. I just had to get my thoughts into words.

So, this will be long but I'll try to break it up. For clarity I want to establish my main point and give a quick TL;DR here, so here's the short version, long version even further below. My main points are as follows: 1: It is okay to not be happy with how a narrative is going in a show/story you enjoy. Critique is not hate, if anything it's a form of praise in a way. People wouldn't be having such long and frequent discourse about D20 and it's current season if they didn't feel strongly. 2: Similarly, we as an audience have a very different perspective of the entire story unfolding compared to the Intrepid Heroes/Cast. I think a lot of people jump to assumptions about the cast's thought process when that really isn't something we can gauge beyond what they say in episode and on Adventuring Party. 3: For me at least, even if I am left unsatisfied by an ending it doesn't ruin the fun I had in a work. Now if you just wanted my bullet point thoughts without elaboration, there they are! The rest of this is going to be an insanely long ramble (seriously, exit now if you aren't up for that, it's pages long) that I don't expect anyone to read, but I like to get my thoughts outta my brain. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, in regards to the Ratgrinders dying in the fashion they have, there's been a lot of discussion on literally every place there is to discuss Dimension 20, Twitter, Tumblr, Reddit, I'm sure other places as well. Really it all comes back to one thing, Dungeons and Dragons is a game, but Dimension 20 is a show. We as viewers have some level of narrative expectation, now for everyone that's different. Some folks have specific hopes for plot and character arcs. Others just want a general vibe, but the cast are players. Sure they are performers, but they are players in a game in equal measure. I've alluded to this before but a lot of the sincere vitriol to antagonists thus far (and especially the Ratgrinders) comes from the fact that the players have been fully immersed in a world and as characters where the Ratgrinders have been a constant thorn in their side for tens of hours of play time. Obviously one can still not like how they've engaged with them (I'm still not sure how exactly I feel about it,) but a lot of it is coming from that distinct perspective. When Fig took Ruben out, she specifically was frustrated because she 'wasted her season' on him. There's a meta level of Fig being angry with Ruben as a character who shares a world with him, versus Emily being frustrated as a player that a lot of her in-game actions did not hash out. That's actually totally natural, by the way. The interesting way that DnD serves both as a narrative of the characters in the setting, but also of the players rolling dice is part of what makes actual play like Dimension 20 so interesting. It's why I think SOME of the disappointment with Brennan and the Intrepid Heroes comes from a strange place, we literally cannot experience the story the same way the cast have. We get a week between chunks of story, they film the episodes in batches. We can think for as long as we want about our critical thoughts, they have to improv on the fly. We get to watch the Ratgrinders as antagonists in a story, the IH are actively hindered in their gameplay by the Ratgrinders as enemies.

That said I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried about some aspects of Protagonist Centric Morality™ in this. Oisin having a mildly flirty conversation with Adaine once when he had ulterior motives is a deeply awful manipulation, but Fig catfishing Ruben the better part of an entire year is her trying to reach out and understand him (?). Kipperlilly threatening to desecrate Eugenia's grave is deeply fucked up, but Riz openly advocating mutilating Oisin's body for tactical reasons, and Fabian loudly declaring he intends to do the same to Ivy for literally just his own self-satisfaction are 'fun unhinged moments'.

Before I go on, obviously the Ratgrinders are the bad guys. They're taking part in an evil plan, they've done villainous things throughout the season, especially very recently, etc. This isn't some argument that the Bad Kids are secretly the real monsters or something, obviously not. I just think it's odd that people read into the Bad Kids' actions in the best possible light at all times and the inverse for the Ratgrinders. This protagonist centric morality also comes down to the true reason behind any and all of Fantasy High's villain redemption. Ragh gets redeemed because the player characters think he's possibly useful and/or endearing. Aelwyn gets redeemed because she personally helps Adaine. The only one that Brennan really pushed forward on his own was Zayn, who they barely engaged with. People compare the Ratgrinders to Penelope and Dayne a lot, and understandably so. However I think this is sort of the complication and in my opinion, the silver bullet to understanding what's actually happening with the Ratgrinder's narrative place, Dayne more specifically. He does very little evil on screen. I mean, he injures Fabian and is most likely the one who killed Zayn, but comparatively to Aelwyn, he does almost nothing. He gets killed without so much as a thought, and in a fun (?) parallel to current Ratgrinder discourse, does actually have his body desecrated after death by Fabian. Because he hurt Fabian personally. Aelwyn gets forgiven of doing a lot of terrible shit (and this isn't Aelwyn hate, she's like my favorite NPC.) because it didn't directly affect any of the Bad Kids besides Adaine, and even the bad stuff that did affect Adaine can be sort of off-loaded onto their parents. So it's why I say this discourse is tough, people inevitably say "Well, the Ratgrinders are villains, of course they'll get killed." And this isn't inherently a wrong statement, they look at the bad things the group is doing and understand they must be stopped, why are people upset clearly bad guys get beat and/or killed in DnD games? Because they aren't actually getting killed in such brutal ways because they're bad guys, it's because they personally annoyed or hurt the Bad Kids. This is also why Ratgrinder fans often feel both frustrated and vindicated at once (I speculate, but I feel it's a safe assumption,) because on a meta level Kipperlilly is literally right. Her friends and likely herself are getting ripped to shreds because they crossed the special protagonists, because they started to really frustrate the Intrepid Heroes. The Bad Kids have forgiven atrocities before, but the Intrepid Heroes are really quick to dismiss and kill people they find annoying.

The ultimate example I feel of this, is Mary Ann. Ruben gets blasted into hell because his actions personally annoyed the players, Ivy gets stabbed to death while being repeatedly insulted and threatened with mutilation because her actions personally annoyed the players.

But Mary Ann is the one they all think they can redeem or save, because her personality is more cute and endearing to the players. That kind of says it all better than I ever could.

[whentherewerebicycles]

knowing (as I now do) that it may not last…

I am DETERMINED to enjoy every

single

second

of being pregnant!!!!

[yuseirra]

I jotted down in my notes yesterday before I had no clue how 164 was going to unfold: I'll just leave this here before things grow any worse in the manga

I'm not sure if I even hate it, like how every chapter's been beyond.. 154? It's like I have to wait and see just what is it supposed to be and mean. But I don't like it of course. At this point the whole plot of onk feels like a fever dream and it ACTUALLY MIGHT BE, considering how the story itself started on a note that "Everything is fiction" or whatever. That truly isn't a good sign. That particular chapter where Aqua and Ruby was having that one peaceful day was super ominous too. Everything might just be their dream or something at this rate, what I want this manga to retain is the message. What they want to express and say through having created this piece. Will that be good? I have no idea how that's going to happen, if they do manage to do a splendid job after all this then, I'll still be able to respect this work but you can't blame me for having no idea. I'm baffled lol.

Okay, I digressed.. Please keep in mind this was written before I encountered 164.

I don’t know if my empathy is kicking in the wrong direction, but every time I listen to *Mephisto* and *Fatal,* I can’t help but feel, "Ah, this fits Kamiki’s story and emotions so perfectly..."

So,

When he’s this tormented, aching to see her again, drowning in sorrow like this—was it really his fault that Ai died? Did he truly bring this upon himself? Will it all just be resolved by catching him and ending his life? Will killing him solve the tragedy in the story? And if that’s the case, why are they so insistent on not showing us his story clearly? And if that’s the conclusion, then what is this work even trying to say? It’s fine if I can accept it. Really, it is, but…

He’s all alone, isn’t he? Why is there no one there to help him? Why, when he’s suffering this much, did no one understand him enough to keep him from getting to this point, just leaving him like that? From childhood to adulthood, apart from Ai, he never had anyone who genuinely helped him—so it makes sense that he became someone who misses her so deeply, unable to see anyone else. I can sense that his true nature was genuinely kind, but even that is unclear...

Why is he so alone? Why has the author pushed him to the point of complete ruin with no one left? If it were me, I’d have a reason to take it that far. This is a story, after all.

It hits me every time I listen; I can feel everything so intensely that it’s almost haunting. But am I really wrong? The lyrics aren't just ordinary; there are hints within them.

It’s just... the story is so sad... It’s crazed on the surface, but inside, it’s about someone so deeply heartbroken after losing someone they truly loved...

"I’d do anything if it meant you’d come back; I don’t care if it kills me. I just miss you so much"—that’s what the song’s about, right? And Kamiki’s story fits that exactly. I wish the manga would at least touch on that. It’s just bothering me too much. That’s the story here, isn’t it? Why is it like this… it’s just so heartbreakingly sad… why make the song this way?

And Aqua—no!!! I’m really annoyed that Aqua gave up on Ai’s wish! Fine, go live happily with Kana. You went through enough, I get it. But really... if I reread it, will I be able to immerse myself in Aqua’s side again? Why is the story like this?

Why are they locked in this cycle of killing each other? Why did it have to turn out like this? I don’t even think he killed Ai. He’s suffering so much after her death—what’s going on...

Isn’t his story worth the page space?

Actually, I feel like I understand what the author is trying to do. I know I’m playing along, even though I can see it all coming—it’s so frustrating to watch it unfold. But can I really trust the author this much...? What do I really know about them? I’d need to understand that to make any real guesses... Though I feel like I know what this is all about. Sure, if it’s going to drag on endlessly, I’d rather it just end quickly. Then I can move on and find something else to read.

But really, I know exactly how everything could all come together, like beads threaded on a string. I get why things are this way. So, if they would just do that, everything would fall into place... there are so many hints and foreshadowing for it. But the absolute constraint of the remaining page count is something I don’t think they’ll overcome, so maybe I should just let go of this story in my heart. Whatever happens, I’ll be fine either way. Even if they don’t get it right, that’s okay too.

Oh, I thought I knew. I think I still do a little? but well.

I'll draw another version of "where everything is happier" but AQUA EDITION this weekend. I can draw it out :) They better make this story make some kind of sense but GOD I hope they don't ruin my favorite characters, I'm scared...no character is safe anymore after seeing what they made out of Aqua. I feel really sorry for saying I was angry about him earlier, did he die because I said that? Did I jinx it or what.?. Oh the writer better have something really good on their mind. Because this is a really loved piece right? They won't be able to do it though if they're going to use these remaining page space this meaninglessly. And it's too short anyway. I really am the type that holds onto hope, I was still hoping till the last chapter but now I just want them to.. Keep from ruining the message any more. I do want to see a point in all this, if that can convince me, I can take it, but I cannot see it happening if the rest of the chapters are as empty as this one. I'm genuinely disappointed. I really wish I could only cheer and hope but I can't believe I'm crossing my fingers FOR THIS instead. I wish they had at least seven or eight chapters, but there is no way. I don't see it getting any sort of fulfilling ending if they're going to devote half those precious chapter space left to Aqua suffering for air, that was PAINFUL to see. I didn't sign up to see THAT, and we still don't know if he's really justified and if his actions were really worth putting himself and everyone else through the potential sufferings, I don't see ANY good coming out of this.

I'll draw something happy for Aqua I haven't drawn him for awhile, I really used to care for him and god while I am pissed at what he's done I'm just...so baffled. I didn't want him to suffer, that's one of the reasons why I was angry with the choices he's made?? Oh he's a fool. I agree with everything Kamiki's said!! Like, the things he told his son was legit kind and words of wisdom!!! He told him he had a life to live???? He-he told him to go live for Ruby because killing him would hurt her? Right?? He was trying to convince his son to go live?? Did I read it wrong? Kamiki knew about the things that his son cared for and smiled when Aqua acknowledged he wanted to live??? Would he be the one to ruin that if he's the one who's provided those reasoning? It doesn't?? Make sense to me. He was being calm and kind even while being threatened with a knife from his own son. So was there really no hope for this man. I swear Kamiki's a corrupted god then and his EXISTENCE cannot be allowed for he'd cause misery just by existing from being TOO broken and way past recovery at this point.

If they ruin him and Ai's character in the following chapters...I have no control over it ofc but.. I'm not sure if I'll be able to comprehend what this comic is even trying to say. If there are gods.. They should take pity on the characters and SAVE them.

Ai, save your husband and son, or Ruby, do it. Why is she Amaterasu. Why was that a thing? If she's that powerful of an entity in essence then maybe she'll be able to turn back time and save everyone hgsggk it's about time she does do something as one of the most powerful god in Japanese Mythology

[canarydraws]

Darkness Falls

Recently Lucéena got a bit of a rejuvenation in the form of dying. Yea I know how that sounds, let me explain. Looong story under the cut

After some adventures, the party had been given a week’s worth of free time to do a bit of shopping and get some much needed rest. So we all split up. We all had errands we wanted to run, including Lucéena. At first she’d gone shopping you know, nothing exciting. But then she decided to go back to the Shadowfell portal we’d discovered earlier in the campaign, and after a bit more deliberation, she decided to jump through alone. Not the smartest move on her end lmao.

Quick little recap, the last time the party had been in the Shadowfell was when we’d been hired to steal two magical simulacrum (that weirdly looked like our warlock of the party) from the Queen of Shadows, accidentally drove her insane in the process, and left with guards on our tails. We’d also learned the realm was suffering from a curse that was turning it’s inhabitants into stone and Lucéena had also met her biological dad in the castle. While her feelings on him are… mixed at best she was still concerned enough about his well being that she wanted to check in on him. Time doesn’t run at the same rate between realms. Every hour in the Shadowfell is roughly 4 in the material plane and the party kind of had their hands full with other things. We haven’t had the chance to return since we made that huge mess and time in the Shadowfell was juuuust starting to reach a point where Lucéena was concerned with what was happening. She though this bit of down time would be the perfect opportunity to go in, send a messenger to him and leave without going to the most dangerous parts of the Shadowfell or endangering/inconveniencing her friends.

Unfortunately… she hadn’t predicted the Shadowfell queen to be waiting on the other end with warriors by her side. After a brief exchange of words combat started and it became painfully obvious Lucéena was outnumbered and outclassed. She was chased up the tower this side of the portal was housed within and after fucking up her attempt to hide, the queen found her and used command to make her fall out of the highest window, straight to her death.

Cutting back to the material plane, the others had realized Lucéena was missing and after sending spells not going through and asking for guidance from a powerful wizard friend, they eventual did figure out where she’d gone.

Once through the portal they saw signs of a struggle but no one was around. They eventually climbed all the way up the tower and then looked out the same window Lucéena had fallen out of and saw her laying there, dead. They quickly ran to her, but by now it was long past due for a typical revivification to work. And then just as they were beginning to discuss next steps, the queen showed up and she started puppetting her body into fighting them D:

While this was happening the dm and I had an aside and to help the part out we’d agreed that I’d come back as my last campaign’s character: my stupid beloved cleric/ranger, Zachriel. I’m not sure how helpful it was, but it was fun interacting with everyone as the dumb guy they got to play with before! After the queen was defeated I even had the weird opportunity to try and resurrect my own character with raise dead! Only it didn’t work.

There was a presence blocking the magic. One that was celestial in nature. That was all Zachriel was able to tell about it and Eclipse, our main cleric, was all out of spells. At this point, our warlock Fenix pulled himself aside, and reached out to his patron. He ask them to heal her, to “put her back” and he would pay any price. His patron heard him. Upon that request, Fenix cast true resurrection on Lucéena and disappeared in a flash of white-hot light…

…and Lucéena opens her eyes. Both of them. As part of true resurrection, the target of the spell receives outstanding rejuvenation. Any missing limbs/organs are restored and any disease present at the time of their death is cured. So upon the spell being cast Lucéena’s scarring was healed and her damaged eye was replaced with an orange-pupiled one, just like Fenix’s.

Fenix’s spell not only brought back Lucéena. All of the people that had been turned to stone were bright back as well! We could hear people down the halls, confused, wanting to know what was going on. And for the first ever time in the Shadowfell we could hear a full city of people outside.

[fallen-goldfishcracker]

A fhsy moment that really hit hard for me.

"I do think that there's also a sort of fear- I don't know if it's a shallow fear, because really I should just be worried about the safety of other people- but there is a deep-rooted fear that now that she's actually showing, you know, trying to be herself around people, that will end up not being enough. And she'll kind of find out that like, she's very charismatic and charisma can make a good first impression but not a lasting one. So someone like Ayda, for example, would meet the real Fig- not the glamour or the idea of Fig that Fig has portrayed- and she world find out that she's not enough. And like, she's just a bass player, and no one wants to hear the bass play solo."

Emily Axford, as Fig in Fantasy High Sophomore Year, Episode 18 "Fearful Symmetry".

[hollowsart]

thinking about big hairy men tonight. my favorite men.

otto & beck 💕💞🐙🔮💞💕

[salty-software-engineer]

Man I just finished Babel and I was excited to read discussions online because there's so much going on in it with so many little things and just....angry white people. Everywhere. Truly a dead dove moment.

[carcarrot]

this time last year i was probably sitting in the kitchen while my dad started making an early dinner of chicken bolognese trying not to get too nervous about the concert i'd be going to in a few hours

[berryblu-soda]

Anyways update i just didnt bother to post earlier:

fr God is good and the whole car crash my parents got into last week was so incredibly mild in terms of injuries!!!! worst was a bruised knee im pretty sure

ALSO-

*taps mic* HUG YOUR FREAKING LOVED ONES OR SO HELP ME!!!!!!!

[sincerely-sofie]

Ruby anon again! I’m glad that I haven’t been interrupting your creative process or intervening at all. I can’t wait to see what you do with Ruby and her siblings!

The siblings, btw, were a piece of work for me to write and develop until I decided to peace out on really doing anything with them. The only two things I remember about them really are:

• They’re bounty hunters and their parents did the same thing to them that they’re doing with Ruby. They’re repeating behavior taught to them and they legitimately think they’re helping Ruby. I scrapped that idea quickly because I felt like that could push out the problematic “the abused become abusers” message and that it could possibly make the siblings sympathetic, and I did not want to make them sympathetic in even the slightest way. Anything I had involving the backstory of Ruby’s siblings and/or what happened to their parents was just tossed out after that.

• I thought about the siblings having opposite personalities and looks: one is more loud and aggressive and the other is more quiet and passive aggressive. One is shiny while the other is not. One is the physical abuser while the other is the emotional abuser. Despite their personalities contrasting, they get along well with each other. I wanted it to symbolize that abuse can look different, but it’s still abuse and can often come with other forms of it. I was still on the fence about that idea because I wasn’t sure if I liked it.

I hope you can write the siblings better than I ever could. I can’t wait to see more of your work! It’s amazing! I hope you have a good night. ^^

OHHHHH MY WORD I CAN’T BEGIN TO TELL YOU HOW AMAZING THESE NOTES ARE AND HOW EXCITED I AM TO INCORPORATE THEM

I love the idea of the siblings embodying different forms of abuse and the significance of how their differences ultimately play off each other in a way that they get along swimmingly. That’s a brilliantly layered piece of storytelling, you’re a genius! And thank you for the compliment, you’re super sweet :>

Real quick, an important thing to note about the possible problematic message that “the abused become abusers”— it’s a heartbreaking fact that many cases of abuse are generational in origin. The documented fact that domestic abusers are frequently victims of corporal punishment is one of the most devastating examples of this. To write a couple of characters who reflect this fact doesn’t automatically push out the idea that the abused become abusers— heck, it could be written as an important insight into the devastating effects of abuse and how it impacts its victims, and how breaking the chain of abuse is even more significant than its already seen.

Just because you write a reason for a character to be a horrible person doesn’t mean they’re automatically sympathetic, or even that they’re sympathetic in a bad way. Villains people can relate to are very powerful from a writing perspective because they make the reader stop, stare into the abyss, and see it staring back at them. A sympathetic or “understandable” villain who is still clearly villainous is terrifying compared to one that’s cartoonish pure evil. I can’t think of anyone who wants to blow up the universe, but I can think of a good few people who are xenophobic to the point of dehumanizing even themselves through their hatred. An origin story isn’t always an excuse. Sometimes it’s nothing more than an explanation— a cautionary tale that says “this could be you, so watch yourself.”

The fact that this is a possible backstory for Ruby and her older siblings is very relevant to Twig’s character in particular. I haven’t talked about Twig’s aunt Rue or mother Rowan’s backstories very much, but Rue was very similar to Twig while growing up— and Twig resembles Rue as a child more than she does her own mother. In a piece I haven’t finished yet, there’s a flashback that reveals the lighter that featured so heavily in the abuse Twig suffered is printed with her grandfather’s initials. Ruby and Twig could talk for hours, I think, about the torrential emotions that come from knowing your tormentor was a victim as well.

[sketchy-tour]

Do you think you’ll ever make/ allow someone to make a character ai bit of Dandy? /gen

P.S. I adore your art and want to draw like you <3

Oh goodness, this wasn't a question I expected to see ngl! I never thought someone would want to do stuff like that with my oc.

UM!! To answer your question, I would prefer not. I appreciate you asking but I don't plan to make one nor do I want others making one of Dandy.

Nothing against the app at all! But I'm just a liiiiiittle uncomfy with the idea of not knowing what people are doing with my oc on there. I dunno, it just makes me uneasy at the thought. Sorry if that's disappointing. /nm at all by the question by the way!

But thank you for the kind words, that's very sweet!! I'm so glad you enjoy my work and my oc so much~!! <3