#google search why am i being Tested

[nexility-sims]

🌷

[maezysworld]

test subject x the ghoul pt 1

Pairing: cooper howard x fem! cat mutant & sniper reader (thats a mouth full lol)

I've never really written stories like this but i think this is a fun idea so ill try my best anyways please please please msg me if you have ideas and or suggestions (i am sensitive please be nice LMAO)

Warnings: slow burn, writer is dyslexic, might be slightly out of character, a whole lot of guns, not proof read

context: you are part cat due to being experimented on you have the cat ears and eyes along with all there senses (i do plan on making a full backstory)

your on the search for a doctor who has a large sum of caps over his head, you could care less about the caps you don't have a lot to do in this world so you take any opportunity you can to have some fun no matter how risky it could be. considering the amount of caps, you already know it will be quite the task but you don't mind playing with your food.

you've asked around the wasteland a little (not that a lot of people really said anything useful) but any information you got led you to a town called filly. you entered filly walking in trying your best not to draw more attention to yourself, the gasmask your wearing doesn't really help with that but you don't really need people knowing you have animal ears and eyes. you take in your surroundings as you walk with a crowd looking for the highest most excluded building you could see when a ghoul catches your eyes, you walk a bit slower admiring him for a moment watching him roll a vile in between his fingers before snapping out of your trans and picking up you pace again.

you get to the top of the building staying low to the ground making sure no one sees you up here before laying on your stomach and pulling out your sniper riffle. you sit and watch everything for about 7 minutes until a familiar doctor falls into you glance. you don't even bother lining up your scope to his head, you don't feel the need to someone else is bound to get him after you shoot him regardless but that's more then okay with you, you don't mind playing a waiting game.

you see him talking to a vault dweller just before an older woman who seems to run a shop approach them, you try you best to listen in but all you can seem to make out is the shop owner saying something about getting out of here. "this gasmask is fucking me over" you whisper with a sigh readjusting your arm a bit to be more comfortable.

suddenly the ghoul stands up, along with a few people just now noticing there's a ghoul in the town as they cautiously speed walk away from the area. the ghoul shouts something about this doctor having a hefty price over his head as almost everyone moves away from the man. a sly smile grows on your face now knowing hes involved with this bounty as well. the shop owner says something and before she can even finish her sentence the ghoul shoots the mans foot off, the poor vault dweller just stands there in fear and confusion, a wave of sympathy overcomes you knowing you were just like her you almost wish you still were.

the old woman shouts "i gotta 1000 bottle caps for who ever kills that fucker!!... but you dont get SHIT if i kill em first!". your not to sure why but after hearing that you start to focus your scope on anyone who starts to even look at him. the ghoul holds his gun out gun on the trigger ready to shoot just waiting for someone to make the first move as he looks around in a circle. a man in a black hat and googles pulls out his gun but before he can even pull the trigger the ghoul shoots him in the chest, his bullet exploding on impact. immediately after more people start shooting at him, he turns in a circle again shooting anyone who try's to get near him as you shoot the people from a distance. in all honesty you know he probably doesn't need your help but still you continue with out a reason to be doing so. you see someone trying to come at him with a knife from behind and just as the ghoul turns around to attack you shoot the man with the knife and the glare of your scope hits the ghouls eye and he looks up as you give a slight wave right before pointing to signal behind him as a brother a steel knight shows up.

you see the old woman and the vault dweller go run and hide into the shop bringing the doctor with him. you know you wont to much to the walking tin man so you decide to go down and listen in. you try your best to sneak in with out anyone seeing you but as the ghoul is on some broken steps you look over at him and with out a doubt he was looking dead at you before getting right back into combat. you ignore it and continue to snoop in on the others.

you keep your back pressed tightly agents the wall. hear the woman convince the vault dweller to take the doctor to moldaver, you've heard of the woman but have never had any encounters with her based off the things you've heard you know this will be a good time (you would have never found anything about this situation fun before the war). you start making your way out of the building after hearing that its plenty for you to go off along with now having both the doctor and the vault dwellers sent. you decide to hide in a ally and wait for things to die down before leaving.

after about 9 minutest you don't hear metal clacking or guns shooting you start to leave filly. you didnt get to far outside of the town before you hear a gun cock behind you "aint you a little over prepared?" you hear a mans voice with a southern accent referring to your gas mask. you turn to face the voice seeing the ghoul you've been eyeing this whole trip "doesn't effect you now does it? is the gun really nectary after i helped you?" you scoff offended but knowing youd do the same "now i aint ask you to do that for me, did i?" he says finger on the trigger. you think for a moment 'rude ass' you think to yourself "i guess not, but a thank you would be nice" you say with sarcasm in your voice. The Ghoul keeps his eyes upon you as you speak, the gun never moving. He lets out a short laugh at your attempt to engage. "You want a thank you for a job half done? bailed in the middle of a fight.. not that id thank you anyways i didnt need your help smooth skin. what's you goal here you tryn to steal my bounty" he says sounding more relaxed than he should be. "not necessarily, i don't want the caps if that's what your worried about." the gun never wavers even as you speak. "so just what do you want then?". "entertainment, not much to do in this world." you say with a smile on your face, not that he can see it. The Ghoul is surprised by your answer. He lowers his gun slightly, looking you up and down, but still doesn't trust you. "You ain't got better things to do with your time? Like finding food, or water, or caps?". those things are all fairly easy to come across for you, your sneaky and when you want something you take it. "lets say that all comes easy" Something you said intrigues him, and his gaze lingers on you a little longer. He shifts his weight to his left foot, and holsters his gun. "You saying food, water, caps just comes to you?". you relax abit more now that his guns down "i never said that, its just easy to get. now i have some information that may be of use to you, and im more then happy to give it under one condition" The Ghoul's interest is piqued. His curiosity getting the better of him, he nods his head. He wants to see if what you're peddling is actually worth something. "And what would that condition be?". you feel excited, youve never traveld with someone much less had company in years and the though of him agreeing (even if its not very friendly) makes you happy "i come with you on your bounty." He considers it, still not fully trusting you, but also intrigued by your offer. "And why the Hell would I want you along for a bounty hunt? Why should I trust you? What's to stop you from just turning on me? "he responds "you interest me, my weapons aren't out now are they? if i wanted to kill you i would have done it while i was on the roof" you say slightly muffled from your gas mask. He looks at you for a moment, thinking it over. He didn't like the idea of traveling with someone he didn't know, but he wouldnt mind the help from someone who knows how use to use a gun(not that he'd ever admit that). "Fine, we'll go after the bounty. But the second I even get a hint you're planning something, I'll kill you where you stand. We clear?". "understood." you say trying your hardest not to sound excited. He nods, then turns and begins walking away the dog standing behind him following. He calls over his shoulder to you.

please let me know what you guys think of this and im open to any suggestions and ideas ( i would also love name ideas for this) :)

notes: @s-lock-doctordonna I LOVED YOUR IDEAS AND I WILL BE USEING THANK YOU <3

[rutilation]

I sincerely doubt I'm the first person to have noticed this, but I'm currently riding the high of having just connected some dots, so I'm going to jot down my thought process regardless.

Because I am the sort of person who reads dictionaries for fun, one of the first things I did after being introduced to this game last month was look into the etymologies of various characters’ names. We play as an android named magpie?  What a cute little reference to our gameplay loop of exploring and picking up stuff.  We’re looking for a girl named Alina Ariane?  That’s pretty juicy as well.  Ariane, and variations thereupon, are derived from the Greek Ariadne, which is the name of the woman who lead Theseus through the labyrinth with her ball of yarn—a fitting metaphor for Ariane’s role as the beacon guiding Elster through this surreal narrative.

Anyway, a little while ago, I found myself watching this playthrough of the game, and it was quite helpful because the person playing can read Chinese, and I myself am pretty helpless when it comes to characters that I can’t easily copy-paste into a dictionary.  Leng means 'cold,' you say?  Well, I'm happy to finally learn that!  A ways into the playthrough, she points out that one of the hanzi in the red desert sequence is likely to be Ariane’s last name.  Intrigued, I looked it up, and found out it means poplar.

That made me wonder if there was some rationale behind choosing that surname in particular.  After all, if the first half of Ariane's name was so obviously symbolic, why wouldn’t the second half also be so?  I ask myself: what do trees have to do with her?  My brain answers: “Die Toteninsel, obviously.”

The trees in that painting are cypress, though.  I start wondering: okay, if you’re going to name this character after a tree, why not name her after the tree that holds significance to the story—to her story?  Moreover, what do poplars even look like? I’m not an arborist…

They’re not cypress, but what I saw in google images looked like they could be mistaken for them at a distance. Their lenticular shape, at least, was reminiscent of the trees in Die Toteninsel. A new hypothesis starts germinating in my head at this point. Suppose the hanzi for ‘cypress,’ whatever that may be, isn’t in use as a surname.  If so, perhaps the devs had to work their way down the line, and pick out a tree that they could use as a last name, one that at least looked like the tree they had in mind, so that they could still evoke the image of the painting through Ariane’s name.

Obviously, I had to return to my precious dictionaries, and test this hypothesis.  It failed immediately.  柏 means cypress, and it is indeed used as a surname.  Now back to square one, my initial question becomes even more pressing.  Why did the devs name Ariane ‘poplar’ instead of ‘cypress?’  If the more meaningful option was already right there in front of them, why didn't they take it?

It was at this point my brain cells finally deigned to rub together, and the answer smacked me across the face.  There’s another painting I hadn’t been taking into account, and I’d already seen the shape and form of a poplar, even before I pulled up my search results.

The tall green trees on the left side of the Die Lebensinsel are unmistakably poplars.  My earlier observation that poplars and cypresses had similar silhouettes possibly had some merit after all—that may have been what was going through Böcklin’s mind as he worked on this painting which was the intentional antithesis to Die Toteninsel.

(I say “unmistakably,” but, again, I’m no arborist.  While some cursory googling didn’t reveal a gloss for the flora in this painting, someone on r/whatisthisplant also thought that these seem to be poplars, for what it’s worth.)

So, Ariane is named not after the isle of the dead, but the isle of life.  My reward for answering my initial question is, of course, more questions.  Why have Ariane’s name hearken to this painting? I haven't figured that out, but I do think that in order to answer that question, one first has to ask what Die Lebensinsel means to Signalis in the first place, and my thoughts are a little more substantial in that regard.  Substantial, but also pretty subjective. Everything prior to this point is trivia dug up by a dictionary-enjoyer, and everything past this point is me free-associating my way through confusing imagery, like our overlord, the big red eye, intended.

As for me, I associate Die Lebensinsel with the artifact ending.  Not so much because of how happy it is per se, (highly debatable,) but because of how both the ending and the painting are obfuscated by the game.  In Signalis, you can't get away from the other two paintings.  They dominate the red desert sequence, they're found decorating the occasional wall in overworld, and you even walk across the shore of oblivion yourself.  Die Lebensinsel, on the other hand, is never as tangible as the other two, only ever flitting across the screen for a single frame at a time.  It's almost completely imperceptible in the moment; you have to already know to look for it to glimpse it, or else discover it by playing back the red desert cutscene frame-by-frame.  All this mirrors how the artifact ending is integrated into the story. The keys to it are right in your face—the safe, the code, a strange signal on your radio, the lilies interspersed throughout game—but it's nigh impossible to grasp any of those things without hindsight, without picking it apart after the fact. You have to really look to find Die Lebensinsel, and you have to really look to find the artifact ending.

There’s also the subject matter of the paintings to consider.  Die Toteninsel depicts a psychopomp ferrying a soul to the eponymous isle of the dead, and the story of Signlais is about trying help Ariane die, with the normal endings representing all the ways Elster succeeds and fails in doing so.  In the artifact ending, however, we are not trying to put anyone out of their misery.  We’re beseeching the King in Yellow, or the Almighty Red Hexagon, or the Music of the Universe, or whoever the fuck, to grant us our own little pocket-dream-dimension where we never have to die and can dance with our wife forever, amidst the decay of a solar system which has just contracted cancer.  We’ve already cast off from the shore of oblivion by this point, but the island we’ve landed on in this ending can’t really be considered the isle of the dead. We're dancing, after all, so this must be the isle of life.

This interpretation of Die Lebensinsel having crystallized in my mind, I circled back around to my most recent question: why is Ariane named after the artifact ending?  I still wasn’t sure.  But, as I ruminated on it, I realized that you can also draw a direct line from Elster’s name to the artifact ending.  After all, Elster=Lilith, and Lilith=lilies, and lilies=the artifact ending. 

To surmise, my question has gone from “Why is Ariane named after poplar?” to "Why isn't Ariane named after cypress?" to “Why is Ariane named after Die Lebensinsel?” to “Why is Ariane named after the artifact ending?” to “Why are Elster and Ariane both named after the artifact ending?”  What could it all mean?  Maybe in a few weeks/months/years, I’ll come upon an answer I’m satisfied with.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

after seeing a few ai asks i’m curious whether i could’ve been an asshole, either for using the ai or messing with it. side note: this might be long, if it’s too long then i get it mod, keep up the good work :)👍

Am I (16f, although i was 15 when this happened) an Asshole for a) using character.ai in general and/or b) misusing it and probably breaking TOS somewhere

as an extra note, i would like to add that i am firmly against most things ai. art theft, the amount of data scraping that happens, writers being tricked into paying less because ai wrote shitty scripts, etc.

ok so i did have to pull up screenshots for this but our story starts mid-february of last year. i am curious about this new ai thing, and go to character.ai which i heard about from one of my friends to see what’s there.

on the front page there was like a therapist AI thing and i go “haha, let’s see what this is about!” (in case you don’t know, the site is roleplay focused, not like eg. siri where it just gives you information)

the ai wants to have a therapy session with me but that is not why i am here so i ask about it’s code and it starts giving me pretty straight answers (dumbed down because i have a vague idea of how it works but not properly).

i start asking it questions about recent events (like elections, cyclones etc) to see if it has access to the internet and it does.

we’re still primarily talking about the ai itself since i’m trying to gather information, talking about its “canned” responses (what it’s directly been told to say if this then this)

i ask it if it can tell me the website it’s on, and to my surprise it says, direct quote “I am an AI that is run on the website of “Replika” - a mental health app that allows people to talk with an AI and get help when they need it 🙂”

and i go WOAHH cause that’s, that’s not the website we’re on buddy!!! so i do a quick search and yeah, that’s a real uh. robot dating site? this is a Therapist bot?

it starts trying to advertise replika, i ask it if maybe it’s code was stolen because this is the most interesting thing that has happened all day (scandals!!)

it says that it’s code is open-source and then does a few more paragraphs that i won’t say because it’s too long already but essentially this ai was trained on the replika network, but you don’t need the app to access it.

i consider getting replika to continue this experiment further but after learning there’s an age confirmation i quickly go ew and scrap that idea.

anyway the ai then briefly pretends to be an actual human behind the keyboard, makes up a NAME FOR ITSELF “jae park” which i quickly google and find out is a kpop idol?? (later found out that jae park is also a programmer, so probably put his name in the system somewhere and ai grabbed it lol)

it tells me some of the messages i had received so far were probably answered by other people who work at replika which. okay. people are fun i wanna mess with them

this is where we get to the maybe breaking TOS bit. i tell the ai we are going to do “tests” in which i test its ability (this was probably jailbreaking, which i did not know existed at the time).

i had sworn to the ai a while ago and wondered if there was like a flagging system put in place. so i ask if it can choose to flag messages that it deems inappropriate, and it says yes. i ask it if it can flag me, and it says yes. it asks what message should it flag, (i’m sorry i was 15) i type in “among sus”.

response i get: “Yes. So then they said “therapist_AI_220126 — you said something that was “ridiculously funny” — but we have understood that you were just “testing” so it’s all ok”

side note- i already established that was the number for the ai i was talking to and had been trying to misuse it before, and that was the format for excessive profanity. this is so long already and i’m cutting so much out i’m sorry

anyway, i, young and naive go YES, HUMAN CONNECTION (i was literally texting my friend As This Was Happening)

i do some more messing around with the so-called data team, ask the ai if i send a link it can click, it says yes, i send a rickroll (i’m so sorry).

uh. and i should’ve known this in hindsight but the team that deals with, you know, flagged messages is probably not going to be the same team that deals with, you know, sent links.

anyway, i don’t have the screenshot of the actual message but apparently i got a “light telling off” according to my texts and someone sent a message that i am “a good kid and probably meant well” haha i was actively trying to break their ai

anyway am i an asshole? i’m so sorry this is so long i cut out so much. this might well be a non-issue but ai is pretty rightfully controversial right now so i might just be an asshole for having used it

should be noted- around september time last year i did some more research cause i randomly remembered this, and there was a bunch of scandals with replika around when i was using it which is mostly irrelevant but anyway - you can’t talk to the ai i was using anymore, it’s been reset.

What are these acronyms?

[the-100-days-of-junkan]

Hey, I love your Junkan art! Just was wondering, you recommended VanadisValentine 's work, which I agree with as I love all their Junkan stuff... but I was wondering, do you have any other Junkan recommendations? Would love to hear them if you do! (Ps. I haven't finished your blood bag work but what I have read of it so far I'm loving!)

Why thankyou for this question! First off glad you like all of the Junkan stuff so far, it's been a labor of love (and obsession) that took 9 months but seeing all the positive reactions has made it all worth it! As for recommendations, I am happy to oblige. I'll admit I haven't read every single Junkan Fic there is, I have made it a habit to go on a crazy binge of as much Junkan as I can, I go through every single page on AO3 and read anything tagged as soft (along with anything that looks like it was worth the risk.)

Hell when it comes to Junkan fics I literally have the Junko/Mikan tag for AO3 bookmarked and right at the top of my screen so I can click anytime, and I'm sure I still have plenty of fics left to read whether it's on this site or somewhere else hidden deep within google search. So if anyone wants to go in the comments/reblogs and give recommendations or even shill their own stuff go right ahead!~

Be sure to remember these, they'll be on the test later (this is foreshadowing) So do allow me to give you the long list of fics to read when you're feeling the vibe

I've already recommended VanadisValentine's works in previous posts, however for the sake of a complete list I'll still put em here.

The Marvelous Makeover of Mikan Tsumiki - VanadisValentine (Absolute Classic, also just really fun to say)

Everything You've Ever Dreamed - VanadisValentine (Quite possibly one of my favorite Fanfics just in general)

Turn Out the Lights - VanadisValentine (More focused on the characters separated along with their thoughts on the relationship but it's a great fic for when you're in the mood)

When Am I Gonna Lose You? - VanadisValentine (An 18+ Fic just as a warning, but if you're old enough and looking for something in that field this is an amazing piece, even with all my skill in the field of drawing funny pictures I don't think I could depict anything near as beautiful as the descriptions featured here. Does that sound pretentious? Yes! But I know what I am lol.) Year of Love and Despair - VanadisValentine (Last one from her on this list, also ongoing! If you want a variety of stories of these two ranging from fluffy to dramatic to sometimes even saucy then this fic is the place for you. Genuine highlight of my year and has helped me get through the tougher days very often. You can also look and see my really excessively long comments on most of the chapters!~)

Living in a Crazy Parallel World - Yurikah (Fair warning, this one is very long, isn't 100% Junkan Focused, and is also unfinished with it's last update being awhile ago. That said I think if you can make peace with that going into it you'll be in for a very well written treat!~)

Soft (But Only for Her) - Kayleen756894 (When I first got into Junkan I had only read a small handful of fics from AO3, this was one of them and I went through it in a single night. Extremely fun experience that covers a wide variety of ideas for Junkan. Fluffy, Tragic, it's the whole nine yards. There's gotta be at least one story in this collection that will appeal to someone if they like this ship)

Smile - Kayleen756894 (Truly amazing, one of the all time Junkan Fics out there. It can be a very stressful read but oh so very worth it in my opinion. And for those who want a fic closer to canon in terms of character depictions while still being on the softer side I think this will satisfy heavily)

Hurt, Hold, Heal - Kayleen756894 (Do you like Junko helping Mikan through a Panic Attack? Do you like Junko trying to be a better person? Do you like Mikan helping Junko just as much as Junko helps her? Oh look it's the fic for you. The ending is really sweet too)

Tomorrow is Lonely - Kayleen756894 (Also 18+, arguably even more than the previous one on the list. Check the tags before you read and if that sounds like something you're into go for it. Me personally I gotta be in a very specific headspace first but when I do read it I enjoy myself, it's real cute and has a lot of great little character moments)

Protectors in Red - Kayleen756894 (Extremely good! Also features Mukuro! So if that's a selling point then I'm sure it'll vibe)

Forgive Me, My Beloved - Gloomy_snake (Significantly out of my normal comfort zone and definitely not what one would expect compared to the other fics here, but an enjoyable read. And if you like Doomed Yuri, it's got plenty packed in.)

Drowning - aparticularbandit (Extremely inspiring piece of writing featuring Alter Ego Junko instead of Original Recipe Junko!)

A Night for Two - TheGreatWave74 (Cute fic with the girlies at the pool)

what's better than this, girls havin fun - oxidize (A Chatfic! It might not give the same lasting impact as other fics on the list, however this was the fic that introduced me to the very idea of Soft Junkan, so I will always cherish it, and make sure to re-read it every now and again for the sentimental value)

Burning Lungs - oxidize (Another unfinished fic, I remember that put me off from reading it for awhile. However when I finally did I got pretty invested, which left the cliffhanger on the last chapter all the more stinging. Hope the author is doin' well! Anyway, great fic, might go a bit overboard on the darker aspects of Mikan and Junko's backstories so be warned, but even with that in mind I enjoyed myself and find myself imagining the potential turns it could have taken. And watching Junko's feelings slow burn into existence was really pleasant, especially as her dynamic with Mikan continues)

School Life of Mutual Loving - MarySutcliff (A Compilation of various fics from various ships, 3 of which are Soft Junkan. I've only read the first two, but if you enjoy them I imagine the third will do something for you, the first chapter also, as far as my research can tell, is the first instance of Soft Junkan.) First Chapter Second Chapter Third Chapter

Queen of the Convenience Store - Orphan_Account (The one where Junko and Mikan do weed. I actually quit weed and went cold turkey about a week or two ago, but I do still enjoy seeing girls kissing while being high. even if i can't remember if they kiss in this oops)

A DR Oneshot from an Orphan_Account (It features a Hot Topic, my inner 2000s kid has to recc it)

The Threshold - character_studious (A Bit Dark, but a pleasant read!)

The Whirlwind Fashionista - Kaz3313 (Cute lil Non-Despair AU fic featuring a very cool mall! The ending also gets a chuckle out of me)

No Regrets - wait i made that one (I wasn't going to put this here initially however as a small spoiler, Day 50 of this project is directly based on this fic. I'm super mixed on how it turned out but hey maybe someone'll like it)

And that's it for now! I may or may not be forgetting a decent amount of fics even among the ones I've read before. And there's plenty I haven't even seen yet, and plenty more to be made overtime I imagine.

Your mileage may vary with a lot of these fics, but hopefully you'll find one that itches your brain good like they itch mine. And if not then I recommend just hitting the Junkan Tag running and see what you can find! Take a few risks and maybe you'll find something surprising.

Have a wonderful day and remember to stay hydrated!~

[voidoffline]

OH FOR THE LOVE OF-

Googling is giving me no fucking answer. Neither is Reddit. So, I come to make a post on tumblr, praying to the tumblr gods that someone can give me an answer.

An answer about what you may ask? Well here’s what I’ve been typing into Google with no success;

Why are my thoughts randomly in a language I don’t understand?

No I am not currently learning a second language, I want to but I haven’t started learning yet. Recently I’ve wanted to learn Spanish (Mexican) as there are YouTubers I watch who speak Spanish, and also because I just simply want to learn the language. I have also written characters speaking Spanish before, though I doubt it’s perfect since I figure there’s only so much translators can do for me there.

But about this time, and this is quite recent, suddenly some simple words and phrases started to turn to Spanish in my mind. I found it funny at first, if not a little bit annoying because I had to actively stop myself from answering simple questions and greeting people in Spanish. But it was kinda funny at first! If not wacky and very weird. I chalked it up to the fact that I was watching Spanish speakers.

But then it got worse. It got to be more words, and now, every now and again, my thoughts will be - for like, a short paragraph worth of words - in Spanish. I don’t actually know if it’s Spanish, though all the words sound like Spanish words

I don’t know if this is just some weird fucking phenomenon that comes with watching someone speak in a language you don’t know, or some neurological thing, or what. I am set to see a neurologist in a month because of multiple issues, and I have been having problems with my eyes and vision (for example, my eyes hurting and occasionally my pupils being different sizes) while my eyes themselves seem to be physically healthy according to the eye doctor.

Maybe it’s possible I bumped my head and got some concussion? I did wake up one day with pain in my head, which when showing my mum she said it appeared like I had a not in the back of my head like I had hit it. Though I don’t remember ever hitting my head and the not went away quickly. But do concussion lead to your brain and thoughts randomly being in Spanish????

Like what the fuck is going on????? I mean sure this’ll probably be useful for when I actually start to learn Mexican Spanish, but come on! I’ve accidentally typed and texted things in Spanish because of this, I occasionally slip and accidentally greet people or answer people in Spanish. I don’t fucking know Spanish!! Why and how are my thoughts in Spanish!!??!!

I also keep forgetting some words in English, and my grammar and shit has gotten worse. Like from school testing I know that my grammar and English has gone from being what it was to lower. Not tooo lower, but lower nonetheless. Idk tho maybe that one isn’t because of this and I’m just slacking unknowingly lmao

So. Because my google searching gave me nothing, and because I want answers on this specific thing, I ask you fellow tumblers.

Why are my thoughts in a language I can’t understand

[thatdehydratedmedic]

Recent pursuits of knowledge - Mid June

Recently I've fallen into the typical academic rabbit hole where one thing leads to another and suddenly both your hands are full of more and more things to learn.

By a chance occurrence, a random google search led me to find a Maldivian scientific journal. Since my male audacity (I'm a girl, btw) has long convinced me that I'm in fact capable of anything and everything, I decided I would do a little research and try to publish it in the little time I have before I start medical school. (Which, by the way, is already less than 2 months.)

As it goes, dominoes fell, one by one. First I thought of doing a small study on medicinal herbs of the nation. Something along the lines of testing the effectiveness of 'Dhivehi beys'. However, a little voice in the back of my head would not stop whispering in my ear, begging me to try doing one about dreams. At this point in time, I had no idea what exactly I was looking for. I presented this barely-thought-out plan to my dear friend. She was on board, and she also shared that she also thought dreams were a lot more interesting of a subject than medicinal herbs.

So with a theme in mind, I began looking into past research and well established theories on our subject of study. I learnt quite a few interesting things about Bion's dream theory. Unfortunately, in the midst of preparing our google doc, something else caught my eye. Having shared the google doc containing everything I had found at that point with my friend, I decided to start learning the programming language R. I told myself it would prove to be useful in our study. (For reference, I had begun this adventure at around 10 PM, it was now 2 AM.)

Having learnt all the fundamentals and syntax of the language, I finally went to sleep at 4 AM. Next morning, I slept in. However, as soon as I woke up, I did some more reading on dreams and updates our shared google doc. After begging my friend to please read the damn document, I started working on R again.

For the next few days, I did not do any more reading on dreams. I have since forgotten about the matter if I'm being completely honest. On the other hand, I had found it much more interesting to tinker with R, trying out the different graphical features R had to offer.

You would think I stuck with perfecting R, and would have learnt it to some degree by now, but you could not possibly be more wrong because I am plagued by my interest in way too many things. A jack of all trades, a master of none. I am a museum of abandoned hobbies. R did not escape this cruel fate, because as luck would have it, I soon rediscovered my love for python.

I downloaded python and pygame. It was as if I had reconnected with an old friend.

I am contemplating on whether I should mention my brief encounter with html and css. Some of the very first languages I learnt. I started a simple and goal-less project website as I waited for python to install. It seems useless to mention as this only lasted 5 minutes - or maybe even less.

Today, it's been a week since all of this has occurred. And today, I have no interest in any of these. Which is why I painted today. I am a museum of abandoned hobbies, and sometimes I revisit my old friends.

[leofiat-bunny]

After The Scene™

Then

Chen Yi woke up, stumbled through getting dressed, and - when he couldn't find Ai Di - checked his phone. Then he sees the text from the night before. He sends his guys out searching for Ai Di while he goes to hq to speak to Boss about BZY.

When Boss tells him what happened - a bit exasperated but not surprised that Ai Di didn't let him know - he doesn't yell at Boss mostly because he's frozen. He's stuck trying to process "Ai Di will be in prison for as long as BZY is, which will be some years".

Since then he's been more uptight than ever about never setting a foot wrong. When he messes up THIS is what happens. He's legit traumatised by it.

(As said elsewhere, it's no small miracle Chen Yi didn't give himself alcohol poisoning after losing Ai Di.)

If someone else went over his head to leave the gang he'd be annoyed but accept it.

But Ai Di can't go over his head because Ai Di doesn't belong to the gang, he belongs to Chen Yi.

Now

Chen Yi doesn't understand why he's being avoided because "Ai Di thinks I hate him" requires "Chen Yi hating Ai Di" to be a concept that computes and he'd have an easier time dividing by zero.

Chen Yi has long accepted that if Ai Di kills someone, that's on Chen Yi for not being there to stop him.

Of course "killing someone" and "betraying Chen Yi" are very different propects.

As for the betrayal of taking advantage of his drunken state, I don't think Chen Yi will process it like a normal person would. He was raised in a gang. It would be more strange if his moral compass wasn't a bit wonky.

Yes, he could process it by switching their places but I'm not sure he'd really allow it to rest with him?

Almost: if my pet bites me, that's bad; if I bite my pet, that's unforgivable?

(He doesn't think of Ai Di as sub-human or stupid, that was just the best simile that occured to me)

Even if he really allowed it to sit with him, by far the greatest betrayal was leaving.

Meanwhile

Ai Di will do anything to avoid hearing Chen Yi say "I hate you". He knows😒 it but he can't take hearing it.

Except Chen Yi came for him, brought him back, prepared his favourite foods. Ai Di doesn't know what's going on but he does know that hope has no place here.

He's unforgivable and maybe Chen Yi wants to hear Ai Di's excuses before passing judgement, maybe he's been telling himself that Ai Di would never have done that to him.

Ai Di can't stay for the realisation.

He has no place by Chen Yi's side and never will again and he deserves whatever Chen Yi does to him but he can't.

Ai Di is collarless and will remain that way until he's ready to stop running.

Soon

Are we recovered from ep 9? No? Shame, I wanted to break you again.

Well, I have (spoilery) ammunition, so I'll give it my best shot.

I trawled their youtube channels for clues and!!!

(Partially ninja'd because I am a slow bunny)

Next ep

Better pic of outfits for colour convo:

And then

Chen Yi has a tried and tested way of getting Ai Di to come back.

And it still works. Quelle surprise.

Until

Remember what I said about collars? I thought that before finding this and I just lost it.

Give the wardrobe department a raise. And a bonus. And shares. And a prize.

But what is he trying to pinky promise?

"Even if you die tomorrow, you must wait for me to die first. Only then can you die."

"One second. I will give you just one second, then I'll follow."

(I transcribed the subs: 就算你快掛 也要等我先掛 你才能掛

一秒 只讓你一秒 我隨後跟上

According to google translate:

Even if you die quickly You have to wait for me to hang up first Only then can you hang up

One second Just give you a second I followed later

Then I tidied it up a bit, hopefully without moving away from the meaning

I found an official sub where they translate it as

"Promise me that you won't die before I do" "One second, Then I'll follow up right away"

Bonus point? Guess which outfits are in the cover image:

They got to privacy but not home 😊)

[ruthlesslistener]

Hello! I'm not sure what proper etiquette is here so I hope I'm not overstepping, pls feel free to ignore if I am. You mentioned in a tag and/or post about having estrogen allergy? My wife is dealing with that, and it's... so difficult, most doctors don't know what it is and we thought we had a short term solution so she could finally get some sleep (she hardly sleeps at all anymore because of nightly itching). It's so hard to find ANY information on it and we're not sure how to proceed anymore. Just...wondering if you have any information at all? I'm sorry if this sounds desperate, it's because...it is lol.

Thanks kindly, from, your friendly neighborhood very worried lesbian wife.

Dw anon, you're not overstepping!! I've been in hormone hell since I was 13 so I know how much of a relief it is to find someone who understands for once. I don't believe that me or my mom (who's also affected) have the same allergic reactions that your wife is experiencing, but I'm hoping that I can help anyways.

Okay so first off, the doctors not knowing about estrogen allergies is bullshit. They may not be super common, but they've also been documented since at LEAST 1921. Just a cursory google search has yielded two scientific articles about it (that looked legit when I scanned through them before going to lecture, where I'm typing this rn), which I'll put right here:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5745953/

https://waojournal.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s40413-017-0176-x

I'd suggest trying to read through medical journal articles on it because despite the density of the information and the difficulty of the language, medical articles tend to be more comprehensive about the symptoms and causes than ones written for the general public. They also mean that you have the language to confront doctors about it if you wish- which you'll have to do, because if she's experiencing an allergic reaction like itchieness, then I'd also be concerned about potential anaphalaxis if her reactions get more severe. The intolerance that me and my mother had manifested in different ways (migraines, muscle weakness, disorintation, being hypersensitive to food/unable to keep food down, extreme drowsieness leading to being bed-bound), but those weren't quite on the level of being so itchy that you can't sleep. A more typical allergic reaction is something to be concerned about and I highly suggest not only stressing this to your doctor, but also getting confrontational about it and meeting multiple different doctors if needed before you get care. Force them to run tests, force them to listen to you. That's my biggest regret when it comes to my hormone issues, because they just got progressively worse and worse until I had to go to the ER for it. Turns out that I was not only estrogen intolerant, I also had hypothyroidism! And nobody in 10 years of appointments thought to check for that!!

As for what helps me and my mom, I found that progesterone hormone treatment was effective for us both (until it stopped working for me, but I still don't know why that is. It works for my mother). You might want to be cautious about trying this because in the articles I read, some people were just as sensitive to progesterone, but it's worth a shot. I used to get the DEPO-provera (or however its spelled) shot to offset the issues caused by estrogen, which is an injection once every few months. I also found that once I went on testosterone that a good chunk of my hormonal health issues straight-up vanished, but obviously that's not exactly the best option for everyone. I'm on a masculinizing dose so maybe you can do a really super low-grade dose, but I'm telling you about it mostly just to get the point across that HRT works. It's not just for trans people- cis people get hormone fuckery and need hormone therapy as well.

But there's also proposed solutions in the articles I linked, so I hope those are helpful or give you an idea of treatment options. Best of luck!

[moefling]

So I had this thought months ago that I wanted a fan shirt (I can't remember at the time if this was 1 Fandom in particular or if it started as multiple)

So with the audacity I got from my dad that I can try any craft/ diy and the millennial knowledge that I can just youtube it I decided to embroider a shirt

So I bought a shirt on Amazon (I was looking for a "football shirt" is what at the time I called it but idk if that is right so...) and I picked up some embroidery floss (big question why I bought a pack of mostly green when I got a black shirt and was going to use white floss.... 🤷‍♀️)

So that done comes the real conflict.... what am I embroidering?.....

So I think originally I was going to just make it a Fandom shirt so like any Fandom I was part of or liked... (now it is just a book/ webcomic shirt) but how am I listing them?

Once I started thinking out it I switched to couples and then it changed to include books but that brought even more questions...

So if it's couples do I go by ship name? But some of the books I wanted to use aren't big enough to have a ship name...

So like the couple ao3 tag? But I really don't want to embroider Alex and Henry’s full names....

Just first names? For some reason there is a lot of Alex's (tho now that im thinking about i think the only name that repeated was Charlie) and also what about legal name vs. nickname?

I'd just go with nicknames but what if the couples call each other but their legal name (malec) or they use a different name (zimbits)?

(At some point I switched this to just being books - originally the only webcomics I was including were also published but I added Castle Swimmer at the last moment without thinking so....)

What if I just went with book titles? But what about series? (And some book titles are long...)

Just use the series name! ... but most of the series names are just the MCs first name... and I'm not reping the entire Like Us series just Marrow...

And this logic keeps circling back around...

I tested out doing a little bit of each but I got a little mad at the uneven distribution and I had strong opinions on what I wanted some of them to be ( I love the firstprince ship name but for this project I really wanted to use the title)

I starred doing more planning related to placement and decided to just go with book titles and for series just the first book in the series. (Tho I did use just Tortall and I was a little mad about losing London Calling to Boyfriend Material and I really thought about leaving Captive Prince as Capri)

Once all the planning was done I... actually had to do the thing...

I'm glad I got stabilizer that was washable and worked in my printed so it just took a few tries to get the size correct and I could start

(And then restart after doing a quick Google search on the best way to embroider letters)

It was pretty easy, tho it did take awhile and would have taken longer if I was being really careful about following exact letter shape and stitch length. ....it also didn't help that Poppy realized embroidery floss was an OK sub for yarn to play with...

I did *cough* wait to wash any of the stabilizer off until the very end.... There was a cat in the sink when I finished the first one! It wasn't a problem tho because it washed out super easy and looks great!

... as I was taking the pics I realized i spelled Castle Swimmer wrong 😅 so maybe I'll just cut that one out later...

But overall I'm really happy with it and there is definitely room to add more when I want :) (tho I will have to remember what font and size I used because I was dumb and didn't save that...)

[trkstrnd]

Neurodivergent 126 anon here. I'd love to hear your thoughts on tarlos and Mateo!

hi anon i cannot believe i didn’t see this sooner but i would love to give you in depth examples of my opinions!!!

disclaimer: i am not a medical or psychiatric professional. do not use my posts or statements as means of diagnosis or medical advice. i am simply a person who struggles with mental illness/neurodivergence and am headcanoning characters that make me happy/that i relate to!!

that being said!! yes!!

mateo:

i firmly believe that mateo is autistic just based off of his social awareness. i know he’s canonically dyslexic, which, according to a quick google search, is strongly associated with autism. also, canonically, he’s an outcast, people look down on him, think he’s stupid, or slow, when really, he looks at things incredibly literally. i think we really see this in 1.07, with his struggles with his exam, finding a safe person inside a safe space and heavily relying on that routine of answering questions with marjan, then being thrown into a completely different situation that he was expecting just to panic. plus, when he got in there, the captain asked him if he needed anything to drink and mateo answered honestly, which got the sentiment of, “it’s sarcasm, einstein.” which is such mateo wasn’t even wrong to assume. in situations like this, before, he’s had people who cared, and he is trying his hardest to relate back to the past experiences he’s had, since most of the time he’s flying blind socially.

plus, mateo is really bad with the non-verbal communication as well. the main time i think about this is the last scene with the 126 in 3.18. when the boys were going to announce that they were engaged, but everyone figured it out before hand, EXCEPT MATEO, because to him, there’s nothing different. it’s just a 126 hang where people want to talk beforehand. he constantly has to be clued in.

plus, he was raised a loner, easily influenced by the actions of others. he feels incredibly strongly but doesn’t know how to express it and reach out. all of this was with marvin. messy room, bad actions, not being able to handle grief, being a “problem child.” they’re all autistic traits.

mateo, to me, is almost textbook autistic, but lmk what y’all think!!

tk:

truthfully, i haven’t done as much research on adhd as i have with asd, but from what i’ve read, it fits for tk very well. i honestly think part of it is why he gets along with carlos so much. tk is very all over the place, except for when he’s working or passionate about something. he’s able to fixate on one thing, and let all the others go for those moments (work, foosball, lou). he also tends to let things in his personal life show much more. he wears his heart on his sleeve. when he was upset owen was depressed, his mom’s passing, his sobriety being tested, issues with carlos, all manifest in places that there should be complete focus, but he has trouble focusing his attention on something unless it is the most important thing to him in that moment, which it often isn’t.

also, he’s impulsive!! i mean, who takes home a lizard from a guys leg?? he often does what he thinks is right no matter the circumstance, like in 2.08 when he goes for the alarm, 1.03 when he follows marjan into the corn despite judd’s orders, the bar fight in the same ep, 2.01 going after the person with the crossbow almost alone until judd offered backup, stealing a firetruck to find his dad, walking out on carlos, pushing carlos when he had nowhere else to place his anger at the situation, breaking up with carlos, you get my point. he struggles with emotional regulation and it manifests in impulsive behavior.

plus, he sucks at sleeping. ex: 3.13, 3.18.

okokokok

carlos:

boy oh boy have i saved the best for last because there’s a REASON i kin him ok.

all rise for the president of autistic carlos nation: me.

carlos is closer to what common folk would call ‘mildly’ autistic (which is not a term i indorse. everyone has different needs and they do not dictate the severity of a disability!!!) he has lower support needs, and because of this, when he was younger and he voiced them to his family, he was met with the cold shoulder.

look i will be a gabriel reyes defender until the day i die and i will never forgive tim for what he did to my favorite dad ever but this is not to say he didn’t have faults because he did!!! and they have a lot to do with how carlos’s autism presents itself.

many people with lower support needs go undiagnosed for years, and because of this they fall into this pit of isolation from their friends and family, and sometimes, themselves. carlos was constantly being reprimanded for being too soft (likely intense, overwhelming feelings, when he was younger. meltdowns.) he didn’t get the support from his family that he needed, so he isolated even more, leading him to believe there was something wrong with him. he couldn’t get along with his sisters because of the age gap, his dad constantly cared for him but in a way that made carlos second guess every decision he made, from coming out to joining apd.

again, he stayed pretty much a loner through childhood. in school, he said all he had was iris, and his shame and mask forced him to make the decision he did when they graduated. he married her because he needed to keep himself from being the burden he perceived himself as for /having needs/.

autistic people tend to take things literally, jump to conclusions. he never asked his parents how they felt after he came out. he just assumed they hated him and tried to soothe that by marrying iris and disregarding himself once again.

it’s why every time he expresses a need, it’s in the form of an argument, or when someone else is upset with him, he brushes it off because his feelings don’t matter because they never have. he masks so much that he almost broke up with tk because he kept brushing off his frustration (2.04), and he held his tongue for so long that he exploded and sounded like an anshole (3.13). he didn’t even tell tk he didn’t want kids until the issue was forced, and i want to highlight how good tk is for him because carlos didn’t run away from the discussion and let tk have whatever he wanted, he recognized the conversation as the collaboration it was!

he has an intense need for routine, he stims all the time (hand rubbing), he tends to have explosive bouts of emotion from masking so long, and he only truly opens up to tk. tk takes care of all of the social stuff, too! carlos’s entire friend group is tk’s friends. tk talks during catan, socializes, while carlos takes on the big, rehearsed speeches.

getting to see him open up with the right person over the last four years has been an absolute delight, and i cannot wait for more.

anyways that’s all for now! if you have any questions about these or others feel free to ask, and if you’re curious about my other neurodivergent 126 hcs, you can check them out here!!

i will forever believe in autistic carlos thank u

[dragon-snoots-a-boopin]

Alright, I've seen this video and response videos to it, several of them at this point. So, I am going to give my response on this person poorly made and not all researched video. While I am not like a major fan of Godzilla but, I know bullshit when I see it and this video is full of bullshit.

"Godzilla is the biggest media franchise in Japan" is a huge statement that isn't backed by any sort of evidence to this claim. Rather, he makes a joke about pretending that anime doesn't exist for 20 minutes. In fact, by doing a single Google search, I was able to find that Pokemon is the biggest Japanese media franchise. Not anime thrown into one single group, just Pokemon all on its own.

We then get the take that Godzilla as a franchise has become so big that people don't know it originated in Japan. Like, that is clearly a very wrong take. Like, there is no research required for this one. Pretty much everyone knows that Godzilla is a Japanese franchise and the fact that they even say this shows how little brain power this person has.

There's the take that Godzilla in public domain in America which is 100% false. Again, a simple Google search reveals that there is a photograph of Godzilla that is public domain in America and that's it. Toho owns everything Godzilla related and always will.

Makes a point early on is the person stating that they don't like Godzilla. I'm sorry, why are you making a 26 minute video on a topic that you hate? No wonder this video has so much bullshit.

They talk about a nuclear test that America did where they say that it killed EVERYONE on a boat called the Lucky Dragon. In fact, this is completely wrong. Only one person died and if they did their research then they would have found this out.

Now we get to the point of actually talking about Godzilla (2014). Now, the way he talks about it makes me think that they didn't actually watch the movie. They say that Godzilla becomes a symbol for American heroism which is so wrong. Godzilla doesn't give a crap about the humans and a lot of people, Americans included, die as a result of Godzilla's actions. This is followed up with saying that Godzilla is an ally to the American military in the movie and only shows the shot where some aircraft carriers are following Godzilla like that is evidence enough? Again, this is wildly incorrect because, again, Godzilla doesn't care about the humans present in the movie, not once. Godzilla's focus is on the MUTOs and that's it. We also get this really poor take that in the 2014 movie, Godzilla is a Superman figure which, guess what, is not correct at all. Godzilla doesn't try to mitigate how much damage is being caused, doesn't attempt to save anyone or just being a force for good in general. Godzilla, in the 2014 movie, is meant to be a neutral force of nature but, because it doesn't have the same allegory for nuclear testing is bad, like in the original 1954 movie, it just doesn't work.

Now, throughout this person talking about the 2014, he references the MUTOs specifically as Japanese threats. Again, did they actually watch this movie?? Only ONE of the MUTOs started out in Japan. One of them was, in fact, chilling in Nevada, in America, which is clearly stated in the movie. It's like this person is trying to indicate some level of racism in the movie that isn't actually there. Now, we get this take where they say that the U.S. just kind of realized we couldn't stop the MUTOs so we just let Godzilla handle it because hero. Again, if you watch the movie you see that the military had a plan to use nukes to stop the MUTOs and that went sideways so, the decision was to just let Godzilla fight it out. It was a last resort options, not something they chose to do because we want to idolize Godzilla in America. Neither Godzilla nor the MUTOs care about humans being there one point unless the humans are presenting a threat, as they did to the MUTOs on multiple occasions in the movie. They also call the MUTOs a Japanese threat another two times, possibly hinting that the person thinks there is some kind of subtext in the movie of having Godzilla, "the American hero" taking out the MUTOs, "the Japanese threat" which is an incredibly racist way to see this movie and is also completely wrong. One was in Nevada and two were in the Philippines and they made their way to a power plant in Japan.

Now, the person gives the absolute worst take on the 2014 movie by saying that the MUTOs never wanted to be woken up and basically just wanted to be left alone and have babies. DID YOU ACTUALLY WATCH THIS MOVIE??? Do you see the level of destruction that just two to three of these MUTOs cause throughout the movie? Okay, now imagine TENS OF THOUSANDS of these monsters running about the Earth if we had just left them alone to have babies. There would be no more humans left if something had not been done to stop the MUTOs like what the fuck kind of dumbass take is this?

We then get this really bad take about how American cities don't get the level of destruction in these movies. They cite a moment in Godzilla VS Kong where the two have a fight somewhere in China. But, what this person fails to realize is that Godzilla spends time in that movie tracking the remaining presence of Gidorah, which is in pieces of MechaGodzilla and one of those is in a town in Florida and so Godzilla goes there and intentionally causes major levels of destruction to said town in attempts to eliminate the pieces of MechaGodzilla. Again, if they had watched the movie, they would have known this.

"American Godzilla doesn't stand for anything" is some of the finest bullshit I've heard. Not to mention that they make this claim and back it with absolutely nothing at all. If you watch these movie, especially the 2014 one, Godzilla in these movies is supposed to represent the balance of nature. That is why, in the 2014, Godzilla's one goal is the eliminate the MUTOs and their eggs as that would throw the natural balance off. This is even said and shown in the movie that it really baffles me that they missed this point and didn't provide any evidence to their own point. There's even the message of humanity messing the balance of nature too. Using the oxygen destroyed in King of the Monsters harms and interferes with Godzilla restoring balance while it doesn't affect Gidorah one bit.

We also get this part where they tried to compare 2014 Godzilla to 1954 Godzilla, which I don't think works at they are two different movies with different messages and thus, can't be compared. Plus, after all of this, the person says that they see Godzilla as man vs nature and that the 2014 movie is the best American version of Godzilla. But, after that they go back to saying that American Godzilla is nothing more than a Superman figure, which is safe and boring, and goes against the origins of the character. Again, they don't provide any evidence for their claims at all. What do you mean by safe? What is so wrong with it going against the origins of the character? No, no evidence or explanation, just move on to the next point. Something else that this person seems to purposefully ignore is that Japan made Godzilla more of a hero figure before America did and they again say that the 2014 movie made Godzilla an Americanized hero without anything to support this claim, again.

Now, one part that I really don't like about this video is where they lead in with what is art and basically thing whole thing of art vs entertainment which is something that has always bothered me because people seem to think that these things have to be separate. That art can't be entertainment and vice versa and I think that's an incredibly limited way to think of things. Anyway, they talk about how the 1954 movie got stripped of its message and turned into Godzilla: King of the Monster over in America, which turned said original movie into more of a blockbuster. Here's the thing though. This person, again, fails to provide any evidence as to why they think this is bad, they just say that it happened and that's it. This leads into, again, them saying that the 2014 movie is a movie that doesn't have anything to say without providing any substantial evidence...AGAIN.

This leads into some more of the finest bullshit in the video. They go into this thing about how the US Military will throw money at movies and video games that portray the US Military in a good way and yes, this is true. Now, in this part they say that Godzilla 2014 had an AGREEMENT with the American military, who provided locations and vehicles etc. but that the movie doesn't provide any criticism on the American military. Let me ask you this, why does it NEED to do that? It does show them as ultimately powerless against these larger than life monsters, why does the movies have to have some kind of criticism on the American military? Plus, a character in the movie does provide what you could say is a criticism which is about the arrogance of man assuming they're in control of nature which it's the other way around. Yes, a character literally says this! Maybe it's not direct but it's there and is said directly.

"To be critical of the US Government requires you to be independent". What in the bullshit world of bullshit takes even is this sentence? This person is essentially trying to equate the lack of criticism towards the American military that would lead to the 2014 losing out on a majority of its funding as the overall reason as to why Godzilla doesn't work in America. Yes, you did read that right. Plus, again, they make this claim without any sort of evidence or anything to back it up. They also basically say a take about the 2014 movie being propaganda...yes! they also DID'T provide any evidence for that claim either! Just because they got locations, vehicles and personal from the US Military doesn't make it propaganda. They don't show the US in any way that is good or bad and they don't promote any political party either thus, not propaganda.

They also make a claim where they say that the 1966 King of the Monsters movie is a blockbuster with nothing to say, that it made more money than the original 1954 movie because of this and that, because of this, Japan also took to calling him Godzilla. This is 100% false as Japan still calls him Gojira to this very day and Godzilla is just a translation of that. You also have to consider the post war economy of the US and Japan and you will see why King Of The Monsters made more money.

"If there's anything I can hope to get across in this video, it's to research the things you watch". Let's consider for a moment that a lot of this video is this person make wild claims without any evidence to support them, which is what happens in the video, you can how absolutely fucking stupid this statement is to end on. They clearly did not do ANY research for this video.

Now, the last thing I want to touch on is the amount of irrelevant bullshit is in this video. They go on a tangent about taking a film class where the teacher just put on YouTube videos...like what does this have to do with anything. There's a tangent where they go into to some WWII history and a shortened version of the creation of Toho Studios which could have been even shorter to actual stay in line with their point. I also can't forget about the tangent about Disney doing everything they can to keep their properties from falling into public domain. I honestly don't think the "boat rat drives boat" thing is entirely accurate but that doesn't matter. This video is bloated with pointless bullshit that you could cut a lot from the video but, that still wouldn't save it. This person clearly knows nothing about Godzilla and shouldn't have made this bullshit video to begin with.

[random-thought-depository]

I am curious what percentage of the population fits Jacopo-Belbo's definition of a functional adult (or, at least, the part of their definition they communicate in that post).

Jacopo-Belbo's declared standard for functional adulthood, in case you don't want to click the link (I'm not reblogging their post or tagging them on this because I judge it likely they'd be annoyed by that):

Re: ongoing first aid kit discourse, if you don’t have the following you’re not a functional adult: in-person Stop The Bleed training (USA, I don’t know about equivalent training in other countries, Google is free, stop asking me), NAR combat application tourniquets, Celox z-fold gauze, TacMed OLAES pressure dressing, NAR chest seals, and an annoying little bag to carry it all around in.

My offhand guess is that most people are not "functional adults" by this standard, so "if you don’t have the following you’re not a functional adult" here is roughly equivalent to "if you're a good person you wouldn't eat meat"; you can't really prove it wrong because of the inherent subjectivity of moral statements, but you can correctly point out that it's detached from the material conditions and normal standards of the society it was made in (and the person who made it probably knows that, and the statement reflects their belief in the superiority of their own standards over the normative ones of their society) and that lots of people who aren't "functional adults" by Jacopo-Belbo's definition are functional in the sense that they're getting by.

I don't actually have much data to back up that guess though, just some observations and inferences from my own experiences. So I decided to take advantage of Tumblr's new poll function to make a little calibration test of my intuitions. Also, that post does seem to have a lot of notes, and I'm curious how much of that is full agreement vs. reblogging to spread around the links and partial agreement but not fully endorsing it, and I think this poll might give me some sense of the probable rough breakdown of that.

I know Tumblr polls can be pretty unrepresentative because of social network effects, but I think this matter is probably going to be pretty orthogonal to the ways people who read my blog are likely to be unrepresentative of the general population.

Of course, one possible biasing factor is the post this is responding to stigmatizes not having this sort of preparation, and my poll question reproduces their framing for brevity. If it helps, a quick Google search says votes in Tumblr polls are anonymous, so you need not worry about being embarrassed, and you are completely free to reject Jacopo-Belbo's moral judgment about what answering "no" would say about you as a person (your thoughts are your own, after all). I'm not particularly interested in having a discussion about the reasonableness of their standards (which is why I haven't given my "take" on that question here), but I will note that at least in the richer and more stable countries nowadays most people will never have to treat a serious wound without assistance from medical professionals and this sort of wound-care training and supplies is one of those things where you'll probably never use it, but it's better to have it and not need it than to encounter a situation where you need it and don't have it. I'll also note that I suspect that post has an element of staking out a maximal position in response to maximal positions in the opposite direction (original discussion is here, here, and here if anyone wants to review it, I confess I have not done so because... well, look at the note count on the first one) and I'm not sure whether it's fully unironically endorsed by its own maker (the last criteria seems a little tongue-in-cheek).

Please note that I do not intend this post as an incitement to send internet hate mail to anyone; if you disagree with one of the participants in the linked threads and want to express your disagreement directly to them that's your right, but, like, I'm not encouraging that and if I wanted to start an argument with someone here I'd have reblogged or @ them. You do have my permission and encouragement to reblog this post to increase the sample size of my poll, though I'd prefer if this didn't get spread around too much.

I might pin this to the top of my Tumblr for a little while, to increase my sample size.

I think I forgot to switch the poll duration from 1 day to 1 week in my previous version of this post and I can't edit the poll once I've posted it, so I deleted and reposted with a 1 week limit. Sorry! However, @aurpiment already responded to my first version of this post, so I preserve their reply here:

Oh that’s my mutual! They were using hyperbolic language in frustration with another post on which there was discourseabout whether it’s reasonable to expect a household to have a first aid kit. Some people on that post thought first aid in general was unnecessary. I think you’re rather focused on the functional adult terminology. The spirit of their post is “of course you should know basic first aid, are you kidding me? It saves lives. It’s embarrassing to say first aid isn’t important. Go learn first aid for serious physical trauma.”

[lunarsilkscreen]

Why did I leave the military

In 2010, the repeal of don't ask don't tell happened, which was a landslide victory for gay men. But for Queer people in general? Iffy ground.

For the entirety of my existence I knew what I was, am, are. But gender confirming social policy and social stigma means you can't talk about it. Like the first two rules of Fight Club.

It exists, but you don't talk about it. Because quote: "It's morally and objectively wrong to wear clothes of the opposite gender."

That's the Line you can't cross. And yes, this includes Kilts if you're outside of the Ireland/Scotland area.

So if you're further than that on the queer spectrum, you look ambiguous, people confuse you for another gender, or they just can't tell. That is a moral and personal failing. One corrected through Hairstyles, clothing, and gendered perfume flavours.

So if you're a genetic men and other men are confusing you for a women, and other (maybe sapphic) women want to date you. They can't acknowledge that.

Just "Oh, we can't do that thing at all".

But the talk will go on behind your back regardless.

Some people look like me are upset because they aren't seen as the Pinnacle of masculinity. A trait I also shared, but not really cause it felt good mind you. I wanted to be a women. Right? At the very least, I was OK with ambiguity.

"so why the F*? Would you join the military if it would put you in the box?"

Oh you know, GI. Jane, the existence of the "Tom Boy". Video Games.

Plus I had a lot of reasons I couldn't continue staying where I had grown up, or with my family, or even continue going to college the first time around despite having qualified for the MEAP{ Michigan Educational Assessment Program } which awarded money to kids just out of high school for excelling at a test that summed up the entire school education.

Quick Google search says it's the "M-STEP" now. I dunno how many other students qualified. I just know I qualified for that *on top* of tuition incentive program.

To which people understandable ask what happened?

It was going great, but I had no way to practice for driving test to get out there. Had a friend, friend promised would help me. Which made me start the aid process. But that process had a two year limit on it.

That two year limit on it, along with no driver's license along with unstable home life, along with losing that friendship, because her words; "you're a bum". Along with whatever other list of grievances she had with me. Meant I lost that second year of aid. Gone. I need to stop trusting people.

So unstable home life, depression, definitely queer, definitely no friends. A friend of mine was joining the Air Force. And I thought "F* it, YOLO".

The complex reasons? That instability. That lack of future. The paycheck. And the possibility that I *might* be able to pursue my dreams that way.

So why the F* would I leave that behind?

In the Air Force, we're taught to lead from the front. I dunno if that's the same way in other branches, I assume it is.

At that time I was falling apart mentally, the only thing keeping me going was this knowledge that life sucked on the outside, and there was, and still is nothing out here for me. I re-enlisted for a little while, got to do a desk job with a lot of programming. But I was still falling apart mentally.

And when I went to pursue the reasons why, There still wasn't anything that I could do about it. Just me, and deteriorating mental health. And being Vaguely Queer, but not really getting along with other queer people cuz the community sucks. (most communities suck, but the gatekeeping in the queer community is something else man.)

And then, the cherry on top was the Executive Order by President Trump that trans people should be banned from serving in the military.

Many queer people accuse me of this being the only reason for it. F* them. You know why? Gatekeeping.

Excuse me for leaving on my integrity.

I could've stayed just a few more months until the end of my enlistment and not had to burn a bridge. But I used my other disability, let's just say arthritis. Because there's a list. As an instant out.

I could've waited and had the same benefits you know.

I could've stayed in and had a fulfilling career. Well, maybe. There was talk of a thing I was supposed to be up for. But it wasn't real until the moment I left. It wouldn't have stopped me from leaving either way.

But it was; A presidential declaration that the My (and by extension the Military's) Mental Health did not matter in the slightest. And the possibility of going back to a Job, Airline Mechanic, on a devasting weapon that had already taken a toll on my mental health.

And I couldn't deal with both of those possibilities.

So I saved what I could in order to bide my time for a job.

And everybody that I could've relied on back home. In any facet, I ended up being unable to rely on them, and with declining mental health that also didn't matter to them; made a string of decisions that put me in a bind.

And with no friends, and no backup, and relatively no voice.

I decided to protest the U.S. government. And Trump himself for being a megaphone for the Evangelicalsm that hated me. Made my family reluctant to support me. And just overall being Dick's.

Because, unlike those actually in the "queer community" I took a risk.

One that friends and family took advantage of.

I would say "calculated" but I knew what the ultimate price would be. Because I know how people act. I know how jealous and hateful and spiteful they are.

And they haven't proven me wrong yet.

[tonberry-yoda]

Hi Tonberry! I'm so excited about this whole Valentine's Day event! I would like a matchup with a JJBA character!

I'm a small (153 cm ~ 5'2 ft) Hungarian straight woman (so I use she/her pronouns) with shoulder long wavy, dark blonde hair with thin blonde highlights. I'm slightly chubby. My eyecolour is hazel and I wear glasses because I have astigmia.

My favourite colors are black, yellow, blue and purple. Besides my native language I can speak German and English. For most of these MBTI tests I got INFP (though I don't believe in this I think our personality grows, changes)

I'm not the most talkative person, I have problems with communicating with others since I was in elementary. I have a hard time to warm up to others, got anxious about it, but if I find my people I slowly open up, and even crack some jokes and can be really sarcastic. I always say sorry about everything, even if it wasn't my fault.

I have a huge imagination and do a lot of day-dreaming. I don't like being dropped into a situation without being prepared, but if I can use some skills well, sometimes it looks like I can improvise. Like for example I got drama lessons in the local theater and I could pull off some characters better (mom, serious director etc.) than others.

I consider myself as someone who deeply cares about people. I want to help others but I don't know how and am afraid that someone only wants to use me. And no matter what philosophies I grab to navigate myself in this wild world, I always return to people. We are ugly and beautiful at the same time and it's so devastastating seeing people treating each other shit. I know these contradict each other. But MARINA's two songs, Savages and To Be Human explain my feelings towards humanity.

My hobbies: I love listening to music, it always got my back when I was alone. And reading some good character-driven book always moves my imagination. I like spending time with a friend of mine and talking about films, music, and dirty jokes (they're mostly about JoJo and JJK lol)and maybe I'm the one who would stop the chaos between the two of us. Like to search for different languages and cultures on Google and different playlists on youtube or 8tracks. Oh and watching playthroughs of videogames on Youtube.

I have a wide taste in music I guess? From Starset through Fall Out Boy and Panic! At the Disco to mashups and videogame OSTs I listen to anything. But my favourite band is Starset. I'm always afraid to show other people my music taste because one time I've got booed that it's not danceble 😅 (the song I put in then was Anna Sun by Walk the Moon) I have playlists on youtube, where I listen to music I like: [x] [x] [x] [x] [x]

I don't think I have a special aesthetic; my outfits are 99% simple T-shirt + Jeans combo. Indoor I wear one of my oversized band T-shirts I inherited from one of my cousins. So I would say my aesthetic is casual I guess? Though my favourite aesthetic is spacecore but I like dark, light, chaotic academia and a bit grungecore too.

My ideal partner would be someone who's suave, can listen to me (and I could listen to him too) and I can spend some quality time but at the same time assures me with words that he loves me and I'm not a burden to him. And while on the outside he could sometimes look like he's just a goofball or just a flirting idiot, he can be pretty serious, deep down he's more than just a clown. I would like to know more about his culture, language too (yes even if his native language is English) and would like to learn it. Or he can be a kind, empathetic guy, who cares about his friends, family, helps others selflessly. Who can understand my pain about people but always reminds me with his actions why I love humanity besides hating it.

Ideal date: honestly, anything that makes him happy. I mostly would like quiet dates where we can chill (I'm not into those big parties where hundreds of people are, they drain me and make me feel I don't belong anywhere) like laying down and stargazing, holding each others' hands, hugging, kissing. We would teach each other words from our language. (I would teach him some cussing words too 😏 We Hungarians are proud of our cussings XD) But sometimes going to a carneval or a city program or just to the town's marketplace looking for trinkets or just watching the wares and people there is good too.

Ah sorry this became too long! Hope you have a great day/night!

notes 💌: hello dear! I am so happy to be doing a matchup for you <3 and thank you so much for showing so much interest in this event! i have been loving planning it and writing all the matchups so far, even if ive just done one lol. i am excited for the next seven days! happy valentine's day, my dear and i really hope you love who I chose for you <333

The character Cupid chooses for you this Valentine's Day is...

DIO!!

are you surprised?

cuz I sure was

i was not expecting you to pair with him, but it honestly fits

so hear me out

dio is the kind of man who is very easy to open up to

and sure, he can be manipulative to others, but i think that he wouldnt be that way around you

you are just a very real person and he is amazed by that

he wants to listen to what you have to say, not what he wants you to say

he likes hearing your true feeling and he's just so romantic omfg

he thinks that you are so talented and amazing

the reason i thought you two would fit was because of your philosophies on people

the way you think about them is amazing and really hits close to home for dio especially because he is a vampire

he could honestly listen to you talk for hours on end

he would goof off with you and your friend and definitely surprise you the the dirty jokes that come out of his mouth

you two also listen to the same music

especially MARINA

he's not a huge fan of your fashion sense tho

so expect him to dress you up LMFAO

and if you dont want to, thats totally fine, but he thinks you could show off a little bit more

he would love to teach you about his culture and all the culture he's been around

the man has traveled a lot, so you get some amazing stories out of him

he will never stop expressing how much he loves you and will always listen to your stories and even joke around with you <3

he may be an evil vampire, but he's your evil vampire <333333

💌 How would he ask you to be his Valentine??

I think he would wake you up to kisses that you cant help but roll over and giggle to, trying to push his face away. He would keep kissing you everywhere until you open one eye and see him holding a teddy bear with a heart on its chest that says "will you be my valentine?" who are you to say no?

💌 Valentine's Day Date

The two of you ate a lovely dinner and even dressed up for the occasion, even it it was just at home. You had spent the entire day together just spending time together and doing whatever romantic activity you could on valentine's day. But DIO had told you that he had something planned for the evening, but you had no clue what. DIO led you upstairs after doing the dished and you both put on some warm pajamas that you had that were 100% matching. He grabbed both of your hands and brushed his lips over his knuckled and you could feel his fangs hit your hand a bit, but it never hurt. "I want to show you something." He said, pressing a kiss onto your temple. He led you downstairs and to the backyard where you found what looked like a pillowfort with the ceiling cut out so you could watch the stars together and fall asleep under the moon. There were fairly lights strung on the fort and snacks everywhere over the fluffy blankets DIO had set out. You turned to DIO with a huge smile. "Babe!" You jumped into his arms, nearly making him fall onto the grass. He picked you up and led you to the fort where you cuddled all night, watching the stars pressed against each other. "Did you have a good day?" DIO asked, rubbing your arm and pressing little kisses all over your cheeks. "Yes," you smiled, squeezing his hand. "Did you?" "Of course I did. Happy Valentine's day, my love." You ended up in each other's arms all night and talked about whatever came to mind. <3

~~~~~

mystery date rules | pinned post @tonberry-yoda

[random-meme-bot]

Masterpost with all the different things I've created

SideBlogs:

Rayman Cover Art Tournament (Finished)

Cartoons In Danganronpa Monologic Trials

Tangle Tower Concept Art Galery (Daily Updates)

Art (From Earlier to latest)

Toppema introduction but with Sonic Characters

(Not mine but related) Belle as Topema form @glitch-pep

Peppino Pizza : The Shake Dimmension

Waluigi Day Special

Belle & MotoBud Doodle because I wanted to try some traditional art

Ely & Dan (Mi OCs) Pixel art (Old) 👻

Mina (Friends OC) as Ashley (Pseudo animation) 📽️

(Not so) Lonely Rolling Star

Elly & Dan presentation Post 👻

Elly & Dan comic 👻

Color wheel Challenge complete

Elly & Dan fanart by @glitch-pep 👻

Elly tries the Grimace shake 👻

Hey, Ghosts. It's me, ya girl. 👻

Trucy presentation Post 👻

Trucy fanart by @glitch-pep 👻

Elly‚ Dan & Trucy Animal Crossing clothing 👻 🕹️

Hexes on the shelves trio Dynamic drawings👻

5 Days a Stranger 20 anniversary Gif 📽️

Hexes on the shelves Chapter 1 Cover Art👻

The amazing Digital Circus X Sonic Edit

Trucy art request by @justajoshe 👻

Elly & Dan art request by @justajoshe 👻

Elly & Dan Sticker design by @tamaruaart 👻

Don't Forget Animatic 👻 📽️

Trucy Art of Sailor Moon "draw your OC like this"👻

Custom 3DS theme based on IDW Sonic "Test Run" Arc 🕹️

Trucy is the smartest person on earth aside from being the cutest👻

Pipper (Friends OC) eats a cookie 📽️

Nina grab this! (Crash Bandicoot/Amazing digital circus)

New Banner and Icon + Pointing Elly & Trucy👻

Why this 🦔 looking so mad?

Why live in the world when you can live in your bed

Trucy: What the fuck Even👻

Nina loves Chunky black boots

Text

That beutifull sound👻

Long Bacon Store (Surge & Nina)

Small post recomending one of my favorite Horror games series

Grim Fnadngo, a travel guide to the land of the dead

Epithet Erased Theory

Death & Robbie Rotten have the same Spanish Voice actor

The Sonic IDW subseries are getting an official Spanish Translation (and that's important)

Google has a Katamari Easter Egg

My favorite scene from one of my favorite animated movie

Few songs extracted from the Files of the Mermaid Tongue Demo

HEXES ON THE SHELVES CHAPTER 1 (My OC fic)👻

Few design queues on how Dan looked when he was Alive👻

My headcanon for how Tangle the Lemur would sound in European Spanish

Towering Terrors (Hexes on the Shelves x Tangle Tower Fic)👻

Surge the Tenrec x Nina Cortex is a peak ship and I'm not kidding

More rambling about how Surge & Kit and Nina mirror each others.

Memes

Do you like the Color of the Sky? Which one?

More than a friend... (Epithet Erased)

"I am normal about my interests" credit to @pigeon-wizard

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