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What is with fandom and insisting that twink™️ is the BEST and the ONLY body type? Sorry, but making canonically mid-size (not even fat, yall could NOT handle that), middle-aged men look like teenage boys should be a crime punishable by death.
#yes this is about#aziraphale#good omens#some dumbass#is literally trying to deny that he has so much as a tummy#and that darwing him in any way other than skinny#would be#offensive#promoting eating disorders#and#wild take#giving#michael sheen#himself an eating disorder#yall have lost your minds if you really think#dad bod#is an eating disorder#actually youre just#fatphobic#fatphobia#tw ed mention#tw fatphobia#google one single picture of#of Michael sheen in 2024#and tell me that's a twink#I dare you#its almost like they take it as an insult to even imply that a character isnt skinny#almost like they think its bad to not be skinny#smiling friends fandom is the only one that does it right#yall would never do charlie dompler like this
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Morrotober Day 5/October 5: Fly || Sunset || "Time to go home."
RAAUUGGHH HAPPY LATE MORROTOBER EVERYBODY FIRST ONE OF THE MONTH AND EVERYTHING I DID HERE I HAVE NEVER FUCKING DONE BEFORE SO IM KINDA PROUD OF IT LOWKEY
slight variations under the cut lol
i tried doing the yellow filter thing they had in the show but i dont know how to do that so i just put like brown over top and hoped for the best and idrk how i feel about it tbh tell me which one yall like better
#HELLO MORRO ENJOYERS HOW ARE WE DOING#DO. YOU RMEMEBER ME YET#i’ve never done hugs i’ve never done sunsets i’ve never done rocks hoooLY#IT DOESNT EVEN LOOK THAT BAD LOWKEY I LIKE THE CLOUDS#I BULLSHITTED MY WAY THROUGH ALL OF THEM#i googled tutorials and none of them helped so i did it myself based off of the thumbnails LMAO#morrotober#morrotober 2023#morrotober2023#i don’t think i’ll be doing every single day simply cause i don’t have ideas for all of them#and also i don’t have the time#but OO I HAVE THINGS PLANNED IM EXCITED#lets see if i can fucking finish them in time first#au week is gonna be MY WEEK#hopefully#i didn’t want to start morrotober off with a doodle so unfortunately i skipped the first 4 days#i straight up used a picture for the floor lmao i didn’t want to do it it would have taken forever#this new program doesn’t tell you how long you spend on one thing so we’ll never know#but it was at least like a good 5 hours#it also doesnt have a fucking blend tool for some reason i had to use smudge#ninjago#lego ninjago#morro ninjago#ninjago morro#morro wu#wu ninjago#ninjago wu#sensei wu#master wu#jellos scribbles
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sorry if this sounds rude or condescending, and i don’t know your exact situation, but you may be downplaying yourself by thinking all of your old friends have moved on from you. i know reaching out might be hard, but i think the average person would be happy if an old friend reached out to them. after graduating from school people go their separate ways— this is a sad fact of life. but it could be that one or more of your old friends are feeling the same loneliness you are. i’m saying this as someone who is also in the process of getting in touch with old friends, and trying to stay in touch with those going away. i guess this is just a suggestion as a last resort
hi, darling! i actually have reached out multiple times and they did too. however, as i said, they all stayed friends, but me. so, if i hang out with them, it's always awkward, i'm not part of their life anymore so i'm not updated, i don't know their friends, lovers, and what happened for months, years even. so i stay quiet and feel left out. they are very kind people which i shared lots of meaningful and joyful moments, but there's no use in forcing a friendship that has ended.
#and i don't share anything with them besides the fact that we were from middle to high school together#and being in the volleyball team#besides that? we never had anything in common#of course i feel sad about that#i still have thousands of pictures we took all those years up on google drive#and i think i was so obsessed with uploading every single picture we took#because i knew. somehow i knew i'd be the one going separate ways
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Forgot to mention it but there was a huge debate at my study group the other day about wether or not you could call yourself an historian after getting your bachelor degree and two of my favorite profs were defending opposing views and they were trying to keep it light and funny but you could see that they were getting lowkey heated and for a so-called academic I actually don't do that well with conflicts so I was like haaa mom and dad stop arguing!! T_T but anyway, my one german prof that some have called 'intimidating' went to see me me and my buddy who accidentally started the debate earlier (by joking that he was about to graduate and could finally call himself an historian), put his arms around our shoulders and kindly told us that we could call ourselves historians if we want so I guess that was some nice validation lmao
#i'm not even about to graduate right away but i'll take it lmao#i don't care what the world says as long as mr. B agree with me i know i'm in the right#and he's like a real historian if you google his name that's how google define him and he published cool books and all lol#tho to me he will always be the very sweet man who asked me if i needed him to call me an ambulance after i almost passed out in his class#(i was like nooo can you just go get me some water and i'll walk home. he was perplexed but i survived lol)#for some absolutely cursed reason he looks a little bit like ben shapiro on his google picture but oh well that's not his fault lmao#i don't want to actually doxx myself by naming him but i probably will when i graduate or something 'cause he's cool and sweet#btw no i don't think you can be fully qualified as an historian with only a bachelor#but yes i do think that the question is a bit more nuanced and that's pretty much what my nice prof defended#like my druggie early 20's self had some genuine understanding of the middle ages and interesting thesis about Edward II and his bunch!#and many other 'amateurs' have something to bring to the field and we should very much embrace that! i'll that on that hill!!#but my other prof is also super nice and not an elitist asshole btw i'm not even trying to talk shit#he's this stern italian man who always gave me As and then wrote long paragraphs about how i could do much better and i love him lmao#he thought me about medieval poetry and every single one of his classes is a great memory#but yeah he's uptight and european and old-school and tbh i kinda respect that too lol
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I think people that maintain online archives on toys and things are saints but also they never build their websites in ways that make sense
#when I google ‘bionicle’ archive what I want is a full list with pictures of every single bionicle#sorted by year#i am just trying to find one fucking bionicle why is it so hard#i have it in my hands but can’t find a user friendly archive
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whilst putting the big books back on the shelf, I stumbled across a book of photographs from the collections of a particular photographer from where I live. ignoring the fact that the compilers didn’t know how to date photographs (like did they REALLY think a picture with a horse-drawn taxi and women in lingerie dresses were from the 1930s???) and I found a picture of one of the old k-class garratts on the north-east dundas tramway. love that
#the 'knows a little about historical fashion' in me knows that there were quite a few misdated pictures in it#and I think it's because they might've been developed at a later time or reprinted at a later time#because they had perfectly 1917 era fashion in a picture dated 1917.#but yeah like not until the popularisation of mobile phones and the internet did we here have the same fashion as on the mainland#yet alone the fashions coming out of the uk and america#so give about two or maybe even three years before things come and go out of style and maybe more for that since you didn't chuck#an old dress once it became unfashionable you'd usually alter it to be fashionable again#but like. for a regatta you'd want to wear your best. that's usually more up-to-date than say your not-leaving-the-house-today dress#and this picture was dated 1920s. meaning that it's likely later than 1920 on the dot which if it were I could see#but honestly every single lady in that picture was wearing a white dress and the ones you could see had a coloured belt#not that you could tell since. black and white.#and the hat styles said what#I looked it up to double-check and those hats matched mid-1900s perfectly AND SO DID THE MEN'S HATS#so I'd say... late 1900s? maybe even 1910 or 11? y'know. A DECADE EARLIER?#like come on you were paid to write this book#and dear fucking god the picture I mentioned in the post body. dates 1930s. it probably was taken around 1909 when that building was new#it couldn't be after 1911 for reasons that would be obvious if you know a little about where I live#and it's really only on these few photographs. and I know it was 1987 so they couldn't like. google the fashion era or anything#which tbh is the best bet at dating this stuff because looking up online stuff about where I live is. tricky#like c'mon I wanna look up creepy little-known stuff about where I live. I don't wanna rely on a seemingly abandoned wordpress page
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With ceremony, with forms of politeness and reassurance, they borrowed the waters of the River and its little confluents to drink and be clean and irrigate with, using water mindfully, carefully. They lived in a land that answers greed with drought and death. A difficult land: aloof yet sensitive. Like the deer who live there, who will steal your food and be your food, skinny little deer, thief and prey, neighbor and watcher and watched, curious, unfrightened, untrusting, and untamable. Never anything but wild. -- Ursula K. Le Guin, Always Coming Home (59)
#text#quotes#le guin posting#always coming home#urusla k. le guin#she's really such a Passages Author y'know??#there was like. one (1) section of the book where i could pull a line out at a time.#and that was the “single line quotes” section of said book lmao#anyway please enjoy these bits that i liked enough to take pictures of despite my google photos filling up rapidly
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Now Children let's repeat our sacred vows together: "Reddit is not my personal search engine! If I have a question I will first GOOGLE my question and read at least one article about it before I make a Reddit post. When I do make my post, I will use the proper subreddit for this question. I will not ask my question in a tangentially related subreddit just because they allow photos and the correct one does not"
And Again
"Reddit is not my personal search engine . . . "
#Sincerely the mod of a very niche subreddit#This is one of the single most discussed topics in knitting#A google search would have turned up hundreds if not thousands of results for this question#Along with just as many archived reddit threads of people asking exactly the same question#I don't care that the knitting help sub doesn't allow pictures#I would bet you $20 no one will need photos to help you with this#Please I am just a simple lonely mod#it's very simple if it's not a pattern test don't put it in the pattern test group#also my members are vicious they will report anything they think is even slightly off topic
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I can't stop thinking about the news out of Palestine. Israel is sieging al Shifa hospital. Videos of people's limbs being severed off are haunting (graphic video tw). The hospital has ran out of fuel and 39 babies in incubators are fending for their lives by themselves, because Israel has stationed snipers around the hospital and is shooting all medical crew that walks into their sight.
First, the narrative was Israel would never bomb hospitals. Now, the hospitals are Hamas bases. Then, we respect journalists. Now, we have a fucking kill list of journalists because they are Hamas collaborators. First, we are not letting fuel in until the hostages are released. Now, we are not accepting the hostages back because that would stop our ground invasion and let Hamas win. And I could go on about every single lie they're making up. If you look up "Hamas rape" on google, the first link leads to Times of Israel saying Israel has found no forensic evidence of sexual violence, and only one eyewitness testimony out of 3.5k people attending the rave. If you Google "Hamas beheaded babies" the top links say they have no evidence for the claim besides word of mouth from extremist soldiers. Israeli extremists think about the ugliest goriest scene they can make out in their sick heads, tell that to a international journalist and they run away with it like it's gospel.
And children are being killed in the name of these lies. Thousands are being displaced in images that remind me of the pictures of Tantura 75 years ago, with their hands up so the tanks don't shoot them. Amputees are leaving the hospitals in wheelchairs hours after their surgeries because they are being shot at. Elders who survived the Nakba on 48 are having to walk towards Southern Gaza on foot (imagine walking from one end of your city to the other on foot), displaced again. People are cheering for the haunting images of white phosphorus bombs being dropped over Gaza. Gazan workers who were arrested in the West Bank are being thrust back into the bombings wearing numbered labels.
This is not normal. We are seeing the early stages of the settler colonial genocide of an indigenous population. Native leaders who have visited Gaza say its refugee camps look eerily like reservations. We can stop this. For the first time we are able to see wide scale accounts from the hands of the people suffering the genocide, and Israel is so scared of it they have cut all communications in Gaza.
This is our litmus test. I think we have never seen more clearly, with Palestine, Armenia, Congo and Sudan how colonialism has made our world a rotten place to live in.
The South African apartheid collapsed due to boycotts. We have to do everything in our power to stop Israel's hegemony. Even talking to a group of friends about Palestine changes the status quo. There's no world where we can live peacefully if Israel accomplishes their goals.
Keep yourself updated and share Palestinian voices. Muna El-Kurd said every tweet is like a treasure to them, because their voices are repressed on social media and even on this very app. Make it your action item to share something about the Palestinian plight everyday. Here are some resources:
Al Jazeera, Anadolu Agency, Mondoweiss
Boycott Divest Sanction Movement
Palestinian Youth Movement is organizing protests and direct action against weapons factories across the US
Mohammed El-Kurd (twitter / instagram)
Muhammad Shehada (twitter)
Motaz Azaiza (instagram) - reporting directly from Gaza.
Hind Khudary - reporting directly from Gaza. Her husband and daughter moved South to run from the tanks but she stayed behind to record the genocide. The least we can do is not let her calls fall on deaf ears.
You can participate in boycotts wherever you are in the world, through BDS guidelines. Don't be overwhelmed by gigantic boycott lists. BDS explicitly targets only a few brands which have bigger impact. You can stop consuming from as many brands as you want, though, and by all means feel free to give a 1 star review to McDonalds, Papa John, Pizza Hut, Burger King and Starbucks. Right now, they are focusing on boycotting the following:
Carrefour, HP, Puma, Sabra, Sodastream, Ahava cosmetics, Israeli fruits and vegetables
Push for a cultural boycott - pressure your favorite artist to speak out on Palestine and cancel any upcoming performances on occupied territory (Lorde cancelled her gig in Israel because of this. It works.)
If you can, participate in direct action or donate.
Palestine Action works to shut down Israeli weapons factories in the UK and USA, and have successfully shut down one of their firms in London.Some of the activists are going on trial and are calling for mobilizing on court.
Palestinian Youth Movement is organizing direct actions to stop the shipping of wars to Israel. Follow them.
Educate yourself. Read into Palestinian history and the occupation. You can't common sense people out of decades of propaganda. If your arguments crumble when a zionist brings up the "disengagement of Gaza", you have to learn more.
Read Decolonize Palestine. They have 15 minute reads that concisely explain the occupation (and its colonial roots) and debunk popular myths, including pinkwashing.
Read on Palestine. Here's an amazing masterpost.
Verso Book Club is giving out free books on Palestine (I personally downloaded Ten Myths about Israel by Ilan Pappe. If you still believe in the two states solution, this book by an Israeli professor debunks it).
Call your representatives. The Labour Party in the UK had an emergency meeting after several councilors threatened to resign if they didn't condemn Israeli war crimes. Calling to show your complaints works, even more if you live in a country that funds genocide.
FOR PEOPLE IN THE USA: USCPR has developed this toolkit for calls, here's a document that autosends emails to your representatives and here's a toolkit by Ceasefire in Gaza NOW!
FOR PEOPLE IN EUROPE: Here's a toolkit by Voices in Europe for Peace targeting the European Parliament and one specific for almost all countries in Europe, including Germany, Ireland, Poland, Denmark, Sweden, Netherlands, Greece, Norway, Italy, Portugal, Spain, Finland, Austria, Belgium Romania and Ukraine
FOR PEOPLE IN THE UK: Friends of Al-Aqsa UK and Palestine Solidarity UK have made toolkits for calls and emails
FOR PEOPLE IN AUSTRALIA: Here's a toolkit by Stand With Palestine
FOR PEOPLE IN CANADA: Here's a toolkit by Indepent Jewish Voices for Canada
Join a protest. Here's a constantly updating list of protests:
Global calendar
Another global calendar (go to the instragram of the organizers to confirm your protest)
USA calendar
Australia calendar
Feel free to add more.
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Reasons Discord's New Mobile Layout Update is Bad
The reply function is redundant, as most people are used to just holding down and tapping the reply option at the top. If they're going to change it, they shouldn't have gotten rid of the member list for this functionally bad option. It also doesnt line up with any other platform in terms of swipe direction.
The member list is gone from easy viewing
It doesnt auto open your last group chat/DM making multiple simultaneous conversations far more difficult and longer
It's already broken my app once (Locked all channels including other servers' to one channel. I could not access anything except that and my DMs.)
You can not see images that have been pinned in the pins tab.
The search function was fine before. Where did your before, during and after date search go??
All of Discord's individuality is disappearing.
Getting used to a mobile format actually impedes usage of the desktop format and likely discourages people from multiplatforming discord because theyre so used to the "intuitiveness" of the new "tailored for mobile" experience
There is no way to CHANGE IT BACK. This is like Tumblr rolling out Tumblr Live without any Disable button At All.
Why are they marketing midnight mode as Something fucking ENTIRELY new??? It has always been a feature on Android as the AMOLED theme???????
DARK MODE IS NO LONGER LOW CONTRAST AND DISCORD IS DEVOLVING INTO AN ACCESSIBILITY NIGHTMARE
Disable swipe-to-reply by activating full-screen Launchpad in Advanced Settings
Discord’s new layout is apparently permanent. Keep sending feedback and rating it one star on all appstores; if you get redirected to the advice article, double tap gove feedback.
If you, too, dislike the theme, head to settings (you can double tap your account picture) and go to Appearance, scroll to New Layout and Send Feedback.
Overall, what they've done is disorientate every single current user on discord, and you cannot avoid it unless you've not updated to the latest discord because this is not an update. It is a feature that has already been on the latest update and is being slowly rolled out, like Tumblr Polls.
Good Luck, and may we send as much feedback as possible and have them make it optional or at the least, revert it. I've already sent in at least seven complaints to discord, commented on their instagram post about the layout and I'm about one star review it on google play and app store.
This isnt just the appearance and vibes being off like the new (ish) app icon, this is a matter of functionality.
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lending a hand — lando norris
lando norris x fem!reader [5.5k] summary: exams are coming up and studying for it turns out to be more tedious than usual. luckily, lando is around & more than eager to lend a helping hand. warnings: 18+ fingering, dirty talk, protected sex (piv), brief oral, doggy, missionary, dom!lando, derogatory name calling, choking, slapping (lando smacks a tit and ass lol), everything is absolutely consensual a/n: HI EVERYONE!! i know it's been agesss since i came on here and i'm still kind of on a hiatus because i just haven't been feeling tumblr lately. i wrote this piece a while back for another cc but they've since then showed themselves to be a bad person and i don't wanna be associated with that. so i rewrote and added some things because i really like this one. so hopefully you do too :') i love u and miss u all so much, i'll hopefully jump back on when i've got my mojo back!! read before interacting: I suck at biology and googled every single medical term and everything it’s got to do with it. i’m so sorry if i wrote something incorrectly, please don’t come for me. thank you x
The air was stifling hot and damp, your fingers were cramping up and the words on your textbooks were starting to blur into one big mess the longer you stared at them. There were so many books laid out in front of you, pictures of cartooned organs and human anatomy that on any other day, would be of massive help. But right now they just made your head hurt even more.
When your fingers cramped up for the fourth time, you let go of your pencil and watched it land softly on the sheets in front of you. You were in serious need of a massage, tension rippling in your body that would only perish once your final exams were over and done with. It wasn’t long until you took them, two weeks to be exact but the stress was weighing heavier on you than you’d like to admit.
The only thing pushing you forward was the fact that you’d be one step closer to graduating and the promised deep massage in Monaco’s finest spa.
Your boyfriend had been the true pillar in your life. Lando been so patient and tried to help in any way he could when you’d seek comfort in his arms and awkwardly stumbled words. Poor thing didn’t know how to make your stress go away when you were at your worst, but he certainly tried his best and that was all that mattered. Lando felt helpless at those times, but he found himself relaxing when he held you and could feel the tension in your shoulders lessen.
You’d been neglecting him for over a week now, but he was nothing if not understanding and he took advantage of that time to spend more in front of his computer with his friends or even the racing sim, while you holed up in your shared bedroom.
It had made you feel a little guilty at first, seeing as it was his season break and he’d intended to spend his free time with you but your schedules didn’t align enough. There were only so many hours you could spend procrastinating before the stress got to be too much.
You’d first opted to sit next to him while he played and streamed but you’d found him too big of a distraction so it hadn’t been long before you migrated to your bedroom. Hearing him from down the hall was comfort enough.
It was as if your thoughts had summoned him, the creak of the door pulling your attention to it and you blinked away the blur in your eyes to watch his upper body and head peak through the space. The curls on his head were wild, unrulier than usual and you’d have taken a step back to admire them if you had the strength to.
“You alright?” He asked tentatively, and you nodded with a wave of your hand; Gesturing for him to come in because suddenly you were in need of his comforting hug.
He’d gone quiet in his office a while ago and you figured he’d gone offline, not hearing a peep from him. Or maybe you’d had, and just didn’t notice.
“You need a break.” Lando murmured as he stepped inside, coming to stand by the bed.
You blinked up at him and realised the blur in your eyes were from unshed tears of exhaustion. It seemed as if Lando realised it at the same time you did, letting out a surprised soft laugh as he pouted his bottom lip in sympathy.
“Darling.” He reached out both of his hands to cradle your face, thumbs reaching out to swipe beneath your eyes. “This isn’t healthy.”
“I’m not crying, I swear.” You placed your hands over his, letting out a watery laugh at the worry in his eyes. “I’m just tired. These words aren’t making sense anymore.”
Lando made a sound in his throat, turning to plop down on the bed. You tried to keep the scowl from showing on your face when he moved around the meticulously arranged papers on the sheets, but he saw it and grimaced in something you guessed were apologetic.
“How about we go out and get something to eat?” Your boyfriend suggested, laying down on his side and propping his head up with the help of his hand.
“I’m not hungry.” That was a lie.
You’d been cooped up in your room for over - you glanced at the clock and winced - three hours, and the last time you’d ate was a bowl of yogurt and granola. It wasn’t healthy, and you always made a point of eating before your insides started twisting with hunger, but it was easy to get carried away while revising.
“Don’t pull that shit on me.” Lando’s eyes rolled, reaching a hand out to nudge you in the side to garner a reaction out of you. You jumped with a startled giggle, swatting at his hand. “Just an hour and then we’ll be back, I promise.”
You shook your head, no matter how tempting that offer was. You knew yourself well enough to know that you’d go out to eat, come back and then push studying aside to cuddle in bed with him. And seeing as the both of you hadn’t gone further than kissing for the past week, Lando would definitely not protest if you procrastinated in order to spend some quality time with him.
“Lan, I love you but I really cannot abandon this until I’m done.” You gestured to the mountain of stress in front of you.
Lando followed the gesture with his eyes, stretching a hand out to pluck a notebook with your scribble on it. You watched him scan it, a furrow making its way between his bushy eyebrows and it made you smile involuntarily. He looked absolutely adorable and so very confused.
“Medical terminology…” He read before trailing off with a sound of aversion. “So… What? You need to memorise these words?”
It would be a lie if you said that you hadn’t been a little distracted while he skimmed over the pages as if he understood what the words such as Popliteal and Supraclavicular meant. You were too busy looking at the arch of his nose and the tempting pout of his lips, admiring the slight redness covering the apples of his cheeks.
His eyes flicked up and you blinked back to reality, ignoring the teasing smile playing on his lips as you answered his previous question with a forlorn nod. You watched him light up slightly as an idea struck him.
“What?”
“What if I help you out?” He asked, sitting up slightly.
You almost laughed. Help? You’d be a delicious distraction.
“How would you help me?” You asked instead, smiling as he sat up fully and waved the notebook in his hand between you two. As if that would answer your question.
“May I?” He asked and you looked at his hand hovering over the textbooks.
It took you a second to realise what he was asking and you almost shook your head no, but Lando looked too excited and you weren’t about to rain on his parade so you nodded.
He didn’t waste any time with packing everything up and placing them in a surprisingly organised pile on the floor by the bed, keeping the notebook he’d been holding close by as he scooted up the bed and laid down with his head on the pillow. You gazed at him questioningly, feeling lost.
“Wow… You sure cleared my confusion up.” You said slowly after a beat of silence.
You watched your boyfriend roll his eyes, so sassy and so Lando it made your chest hurt with adoration.
“Alright smartass. Come here.” His hand circled your wrist and the tug almost sent you flying over him. You squealed in surprise, thankfully steadying yourself before you toppled over and looked down on Lando between the curtain of hair that had fallen over your face. “Sorry.”
You slapped his chest lightly and rearranged yourself so you were straddling his thighs gently as he’d probably intended to have you do from the start. The position made unexpected arousal flare up in your abdomen and it wasn’t disappearing any time soon with the way Lando was looking up at you from his position.
“Alright, can you please tell me what’s going on?” You asked nicely and placed your hands over his where they’d snuck up and found a home on your thighs.
He freed one hand and grabbed yours, fingers slotting nicely between yours and you resisted the sudden urge to grind down on him. Something about this man made you shamelessly feral.
“Okay so, you have to memorise all this gibberish and what better way than to practice on me?” He finished his sentence by tugging softly on your hand and you bent down when you understood his silent request, slotting your lips against his.
His lips felt soft and you couldn’t help but open up to his tongue, your body automatically melting into his as his free hand found its place on the small of your back to pull you in closer.
You allowed yourself a few seconds before sitting back up in his lap, feeling slightly disoriented.
“Is this your way of getting me into bed?” You narrowed your eyes jokingly in suspicion, earning a laugh from him.
“No, I genuinely want to help. But I wouldn’t mind you in bed with me, either.” He replied, pushing his hips up to readjust his position and jostling you in the process. “Go ahead, where do you wanna start?”
You pursed your lips in thought, deciding that starting at his face and working yourself down was the best way to do it. You were, after all, already sat on his legs and had made yourself quite comfortable. With your decision made, you placed one hand on the left side of Lando’s head and got close to him.
Lando sucked his lips into his mouth, big eyes watching you in silence but his facial expression said it all. It truly had been too long since you’d had sex, but maybe there was a way of incorporating intimacy into studying. Who birds, one stone and all that.
“So, this is the frontal.” You murmured, the other hand coming up to swipe a gentle finger across his forehead before moving down to his cheekbone. “The zygomatic bone.”
Lando blinked slowly, but he stayed silent as your fingers trailed down over the slope of his nose. A giggle left your lips as he scrunched his nose, the skin moving beneath the tips of your fingers.
“The nasal,” You muttered, trailing your fingers up to gently touch his eyelids as he closed his eyes. You couldn’t help but place soft kisses over each of them, watching him flutter them open to look at you. His eyelashes were ridiculously long and seductive. You hated it. “Oculus.”
Lando shifted beneath you, tongue coming out to wet his lips and you were immediately drawn to the sheen of them. You let out a small desperate breath, closing the small distance between the two of you for a kiss. Your boyfriend made a sound in his throat and you pulled back barely an inch to whisper.
“Oral cavity.” Before diving back in for a second kiss that he was more than happy to reciprocate.
It was easy to lose yourself in his touch and the warmth of his body against yours, your hand coming up to grab his thick hair in your grip while his circled around your body to pull you flush against him.
“Lando…” You let out a small whine when he pulled back to bite on your bottom lip, sucking it into his mouth in a way that had your toes curling. “Fuck me.”
Any other day and you’d probably flush at the way you sounded so whiny, but you didn’t have time to overthink it before your boyfriend gathered up what remained of his self restraint to pull back. You chased his lips and only got a nip back, making you pout down at him.
“Keep going.” He ordered and you scooted up so your nether regions were flush against each other. He hissed your name in warning, “Don’t be a brat, finish what you started.”
You huffed and opened your mouth to protest but caught yourself when you saw the expression on his face. Shit, he really wasn’t playing around.
“Fine.” You bit out, wiggling a little in place to feel the smooth hardness of Lando between your legs.
The man in question tutted and reached out to grip your throat in a hold, gentle but it was strong enough to catch you off guard and still yourself in his lap.
“What is this part called?” He asked, awfully casual for someone who was half hard with their hand wrapped around your throat.
He flexed his fingers lightly and you searched your muddled brain for the answer, fighting the urge to moan when he squeezed. It wasn’t fair, he knew what he was doing to you.
“The esophagus.” You whispered, not daring to look away from his intense gaze as he carefully unwrapped his fingers from said body part, two of his fingers tapping your chin before resting on your bottom lip.
“Open.” He commanded softly and you did, without question.
You held his eyes as he slid two fingers inside, tasting the saltiness of his skin as he stroked over your tongue. The urge to gag hit you when he slid too far down, eyes watering when he wiggled his fingers inside teasingly.
“What’s this called?” He asked, and you could see the teasing pull of the corners of his mouth when you glared down at him.
How am I supposed to respond with your fingers down my throat? Your eyes screamed, but Lando merely raised his eyebrows and pressed his fingers forward in retaliation.
You gagged, a sound of despair escaping your drooling mouth.
You tried to reply with “Pharynx” but the words came out as a jumbled mess and you drooled down his fingers. But it was apparently good enough for Lando because he pulled back slightly to let you breathe more properly, stroking the width of your tongue in a silent command. You sucked on his fingers, cleaning them off of any saliva before he retrieved them entirely.
“Good girl.” The rasp in his voice made your stomach swoop as he smiled at you, placing his hands on either side of your hips. “Go on.”
You stared at him, not entirely sure what to do but he gave you the answer when he tugged on your t-shirt; A silent urge to take it off. You didn’t waste any time, grabbing it by the hem and lifting it off your torso; Almost falling over in the process. Lando chuckled at your eagerness and your face burned, but you refused to let that affect you. The two of you looked at one another for a beat before he dropped his gaze to your heaving, exposed chest. Never had you been happier to have foregone a bra, especially when he stroked both hands up your sides. He felt your skin beneath his palms, a shiver escaping you.
“Please,” You whispered, grinding down on the hardness beneath you. Your eyes fluttered.
“Please what?” His voice sounded teasing, bright eyes trained on you.
Instead of answering him verbally, you grabbed his hands in yours and placed them over the swell of your breasts. Lando inhaled at the feel of them in his palms, letting you squeeze his hands in yours. A moan escaped your mouth as his thumbs swiped over your nipples until they pebbled, back arching into his hold.
“So needy for me.”
His rough voice had you opening your eyes and he must’ve seen something in them because he took pity on you. The yelp that left your lips was anything but attractive when he embraced you and flipped you both over. Lando laughed when you bounced on the mattress, and you couldn’t help but giggle as the tension broke.
“Please, Lando.” You pleaded after the both of you had calmed down from your little fit, hands coming up to feel the taut of his stomach over his t-shirt.
You sounded needy in your own ears but you didn’t really care. And judging by your boyfriends teeth sinking into his bottom lip, he loved hearing you like this.
“Please what, darling?” His eyebrows drew together in fake sympathy, his gaze dropping to your chest when you arched your back.
You opened your mouth to answer him but the words died on your lips the second Lando leaned down and sucked a nipple into his mouth. You should’ve seen it coming, because he could never keep away from your tits for too long but the suction made you gasp all the same, hands coming up to grab at the back of his head.
“Just fuck me already.” You said.
Lando grabbed the both of your hands in his before pinning them to the side, suckling harsher on your teat before kissing his way over to the other side. You didn’t know what to focus on, the cool air on your wet nipple, his unforgiving mouth on the other one or the way his hands were digging into the skin of your wrists. The thought of him bruising you made you buck your hips up, craving it more than ever.
“You’re impatient tonight.” He drew back, blowing cool air on your saliva soaked skin and making you squirm. “I can’t decide whether I should punish you for being a needy little slut or fuck the brattiness out of you.”
You knew you shouldn’t talk back, but the words were out of your mouth before you could stop them.
“Anything would be better than this.” It came out as an indignant mutter but Lando’s eyes flared in challenge.
It was quick and you didn’t have time to react to his hand sailing down and slapping the meat of your breast. You yelled out in shock, feeling your pussy clench around nothing as you tried to sit up as an automatic response. Lando tutted, quickly grabbing you by the throat and pushing you down with a strength that had you gasping for breath.
“This is what happens when I don’t fuck you for a week,” He hissed, eyebrows drawn in anger but you could see the desire in his eyes as he bent down to your eye level. “One week without my cock and you start acting like a bitch.”
Holy fuck, the filth coming from his mouth made your nerves light up in anticipation. It had been too long, so fucking long since he talked and behaved like this. You hadn’t realised how much you missed it until now.
His hand let go of your throat and instead cupped your chin, his fingers squeezing your mouth together until your eyes fluttered shut in need with a moan. Lando grinned down at you, tightening his grip just to watch your eyes roll before pressing a filthy kiss to your mouth that you barely had time to reciprocate before he pulled back.
It felt like you were in a daze, feeling him pull your sweatpants off along with your panties. He made an offhand comment about the wetness that you didn’t register, choosing to grit your teeth and ball your fists to keep from touching yourself instead.
Lando undressed himself without getting off the bed, albeit a little clumsily but he recovered quick and grabbed your thighs to spread them apart. The look on his face made you flush hot all over, almost like you were a meal he couldn’t wait to devour.
“Look at that, so wet already.” He hummed in appreciation and coated one finger in your slick before sinking it inside of you, revelling in your gasps. “All this for me, baby?”
“Mmm,” You swallowed, throat drying up and eyes closing at the sensation. “Just for you, Lando.”
“That’s what I thought.” He said smugly.
He sank a second finger inside and scissored them until he deemed you stretched enough, his free hand stopping your thighs from closing when you started to feel him pull out. It had been too long since you’d been touched like this, and Lando was always so talented with his fingers. He could truly play you like a fiddle.
“Don’t.” He growled, the tone of his voice making you squirm and separate your legs obediently again. “Good girl.”
You watched him in silence as he pulled his fingers out, slipping them into his mouth to clean them off with a hum that you felt in your core. Sweat was beading on your forehead and you were sure that you looked a mess. Lando didn’t seem to mind it though, his eyes roaming appreciatively over your body before settling on your face. His eyes softened at whatever he saw in your eyes and something warm bloomed in your chest.
“Kiss me, please?” You begged, suddenly needing him near you.
Lando didn’t hesitate as he bent over to press his mouth to yours, the kiss uncharacteristically gentle consider how crudely his cock was pressing against your mound, one hand sinking into your hair to tilt your head to his liking. He broke the kiss for a moment to reach to the side, opening up the drawer with a groan and rifling through the contents. You watched in mild amusement, taking in the pinch of his eyebrows and the concentration on his face. You took the opportunity to press kisses to his shoulder and up his throat, your tongue tasting the saltiness of his sweaty skin. Lando’s unstable position faltered and you sucked a small lovebite into the delicate skin of his neck for good measure.
“Fuck.” He swore with a breathless laugh, steadying himself and sitting upright.
You smiled up at him, planting your feet on the bed and bending your legs so Lando could get even closer to where you needed him the most. His bright eyes found yours, eyebrows rising. He bit into the tinfoil, tearing it open and fishing the condom out to slip it on.
The rubber wasn’t needed, not really. But Lando knew you well enough to know when you had enough energy after the deed to clean yourself up, and today wasn’t one of those days. He would often do it himself, ignoring your embarrassing protests as he wiped you down with a cloth and eventually giving up when he swatted your hands away.
Anticipation rose in you when he positioned himself but he seemed to change his mind at the last second, a devilish smile widening on his lips when he patted the side of your hip twice. You knew what that meant and you bit your lip in uncertainty. The dreaded position you loved and hated at the same time.
“Turn around and don’t make me ask twice.” Lando said after reading the look on your face and you made a noise that sounded a lot like dislike.
But you definitely didn’t want to stall it any longer, so you turned your body around and pressed your cheek against the mattress with your eyes closed. This position hit absolutely every nerve inside of you, but it also left you completely exposed and that’s mainly why you hated it.
Lando grabbed your hips and lifted you upwards so your knees were beneath you, exhaling as he slid his hands from your ass and down your back. The feel of his palm against the skin of your back made you arch despite your initial hesitation and something about that made the man behind you feel all the more needier.
“So fucking gorgeous,” You heard him whisper and you believed it. “Can’t wait to sink into this pretty little cunt.”
Unexpected heat shot down your back and you moaned, pressing back against Lando in hopes that he’d finally get the hint and fuck you. Your hands gripped the sheets on either side of your bed in anticipation at the thought.
“Fuck me, please.” It came out as a whispered plea.
“I will, don’t worry, love.”
And with that promise, he nudged himself inside. You arched in response, eyes shutting as he started pushing inside little by little. The stretch was incredible, making your toes curl and mouth open in a silent moan. Lando let out a sound of his own as he bottomed out, one hand grabbing your hips while the other settled over the small of your back to push down gently. You arched, and he seemed to like that because he immediately drew back before thrusting back in.
He found a rhythm you assumed he liked and you matched it by pushing back when he pushed in. A wave of heat overtakes you and your eyes roll in your sockets the harder he thrusts; Like a man on a mission, eager to bury himself inside you as far as he can go.
It hadn’t occured to you just how badly you’d been neglecting Lando lately, but it was evident in how his hands grabbed anywhere he could find purchase, your name leaving his mouth in a chant as he fucked you harder. You needed this as much as he did.
“Fuck, oh my God.” You tried to pull your hand back to touch yourself but you were jostled too harshly and you ended up being thrown off balance.
A high pitched whine left your mouth as Lando slipped out and just as you were about to turn your head to look at him, he’d grasped your hips and turned you around on your back. He reached for the pillow next to your head, stuffing it under your hips and kissing just beneath your navel in the process as a silent praise for raising your hips without him having to ask.
You watched with bated breath as he pressed kisses down your stomach, over your mound before latching his mouth onto your clit. The unexpected touch of his sinful mouth had you throwing your head back, squeezing your eyes shut.
“Oh my God, Lando...” You moaned, attempting to tilt your head down so you could watch him but he was quick to flick his tongue against your clit and it only made you arch into his mouth.
Lando was holding the base of his cock, squeezing and willing himself not to blow too soon. He’d been waiting to get inside you long enough and he wasn’t about to end it before he’d had his fill of you. When he deemed it safe enough, he pulled away and positioned himself between your legs before sliding in. His teeth sunk into his bottom lip at your reaction, loving the flutter of your eyelids and the pretty way your mouth opened in a pathetic moan.
He couldn’t help but lower himself down onto you, mindful as to not suffocate you but just enough for you to feel the press of his chest against yours as he started fucking into your wet heat.
You took it like a champion, arms circling his upper body and legs falling open as he fucked you into the mattress with reckless abandon. The stress you’d been feeling the past week was slowly seeping out of you, and you welcomed the feeling of it as you brought Lando to your mouth, kissing him until you lost your breath.
“You’re so pretty,” Lando murmured against your lips breathlessly. “My pretty baby.”
He slid one hand between the two of you, long fingers finding your clit and rubbing it in a way that had you crying out against his mouth. Lando refused to blink, didn’t want to miss the look on your face as he brought you closer to euphoria.
“You know what this is, baby?” He asked, hand cupping your pussy and trying not to falter when he felt where the two of you were connected.
Fuck, you were soaking and Lando was really about to blow.
“This is mine.” He hissed, watching the way your eyes rolled before shutting. “Only I get to fuck it, you hear me?”
You opened your mouth to respond that yes, of course it fucking is - but the loud cry that left you instead surprised the both of you as your body tensed up, pussy clenching around his cock as you sobbed through your orgasm. Liquid heat trickled down your back and you momentarily blacked out at the sheer force of you tensing up in your climax.
“Oh fuck.” Lando hissed, dropping his head against the crook of your neck and fucking into your clenching pussy.
If your sounds and the look on your face wasn’t enough to bring him to his end, then the feel of your legs circling around him and locking him into place was enough to do his head in. You moaned weakly as he tensed up in your arms, shooting into the condom and grinding into your sensitive cunt, like he wanted to bury himself as deep as possible.
He probably didn’t realise that in his high, he’d dropped his entire weight on you but you absolutely didn’t mind it; Finding comfort in his heaving body and the feel of his damp hair as you buried your fingers into it.
“God, you’re gonna fucking kill me.” He garbled against your skin as he pulled himself out of you, lifting his head weakly to take a look at you.
You couldn’t help but grin at his flushed face and blown wide pupils, feeling thrilled that this gorgeous man loved you. And you loved him, so much.
“I could really go for a sandwich from the deli down the street right now.” You whispered dreamily, closing your eyes shut as he brought a shaking hand up to swipe a few damp strands from your forehead.
Lando pulled a face.
“If you think we’re not gonna order in, you’re sorely mistaken.”
He shook his head at the thought of leaving the bed - leaving you naked in his bed - to buy sandwiches. No matter how absolutely amazing they were. You blinked up at him with big eyes, pouting your lip and Lando knew right then that he’d lost any willpower he’d had left.
“Oh, you’re good.” He narrowed his eyes, sneaking his hands down to tickle your sides.
You squealed, squirming underneath him and yelling at him to stop, your body too weak to fight back. Lando kept going for a few seconds before he let you push him to the side so you were half laying on top of him instead.
“You’re evil.” You glared at him, but he could see the twitch of your raw lips and the love in your eyes so he didn’t take it too hard.
Lando gripped your chin gently and brought you in a for a kiss before pulling back to look at you. You blinked back and he smiled.
“Alright I’ll go down to the shop in one condition.” He said, trying to sound serious despite the massive grin on his face. “You hop in the shower, and then I want all these books gone from this room by the time I get back. We’re taking the rest of the night off.”
You suppressed a smile at the “we”, nodding your head reluctantly instead because for once you weren’t overwhelmed with stress and you weren’t about to bring it all back when Lando had worked so hard to relieve you of it. Hopefully he’d relieve you of it a couple more times later tonight.
“It’s a deal.” You agreed verbally, bringing your pinky to hook into his own.
“Alright, let’s get to it.” He brought an arm around and slapped your ass.
You jumped with a gasp, glaring at your boyfriend who cackled and jumped out of bed before you could kick him in retaliation. He looked amused as he walked around the bed to find tissues and get rid of the condom, cleaning himself up the best he could. He found the clothes he’d thrown on the floor, pulling them on all the while watching you stretch on the bed like a cat. It was so tempting to crawl back into bed and have his way with you but he gritted his teeth and turned to locate his wallet and phone.
“Text me your order, I’ll see you in a bit.” He said and leaned down to press two kisses to your lips, making a noise in his throat when you wound your hands in his hair and pulled him closer for a few more kisses. “I love you.”
You grinned against his mouth, teeth knocking together but you were too happy to care as he nipped your lower lip and pulled himself up to stand straight.
“Love you too. Be safe.”
You watched him walk out, smiling to yourself at how incredibly lucky you were.
#lando norris#lando norris x reader#lando norris x you#f1 fic#f1 smut#lando norris smut#lando norris fanfic
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And so a month after they built the fifth Wal-Mart in our county, a little coffee shop opened just a few yards away.
My coworker Rick said it looked like a giant amoeba just waiting to absorb any surrounding properties.
“The coffee shop?” I asked.
“No, Wal-Mart is the amoeba.”
“Oh.”
When I got back to my desk, I typed ‘amoeba’ into Google and realized that I had incorrectly pictured a centipede.
“To hell with Rick,” I thought. “I don’t need any more friends, anyway. I’m on friend overload.”
At dinner that night, the Wal-Mart came up again when my wife Diane mentioned how ugly it was to see another gigantic shopping center taking up space in our town.
“It looks like a giant amoeba just waiting to absorb that little coffee shop,” I said. “And then the coffee shop is like a centipede.”
“I don’t think amoebas eat centipedes. And besides, that’s the point.”
Diane went on to explain that the coffee shop, though legitimate and functioning by all measures, was really an art piece constructed by a group of private donors in response to the new Wal-Mart.
“The idea is that we’re intentionally not supposed to go to the coffee shop. That way, Wal-Mart customers will be forced to observe the gradual decay of a local business every time they enter the store.”
“Well, I’ve been going there all week,” I said. “I think the coffee is top-notch stuff. Plus, it’s on my way to work.”
“The coffee is supposed to be mediocre,” said Diane. “Keeping within the budget of most struggling businesses. It’s supposed to be virtually undrinkable.”
“Hmm…well I really like it.”
“Well, you can’t keep going or else you’ll ruin the project.”
“This is America,” I said. “And if I want a cup of mediocre, overpriced coffee, by god I will have it!”
Over the next several months, I kept drinking the coffee. Some days I even went twice. The quality of the coffee, I was told, gradually worsened as a result of my unwavering interest, but I never noticed and so I had no choice but to doubt the rumors.
My doubt remained intact even after overhearing a private conversation between the coffee shop’s manager and the cashier. I was standing by a tree and watching a teenager back his car into another car and I guess they didn’t see me.
“I know,” said the cashier. “I’ve tried that, but it’s like he doesn’t have taste buds.”
“Well, he’s single-handedly fucking up this entire thing.”
“So what then, poison? Would he even drink poison?”
“Now, that’s an interesting idea.”
“Stupid teenage drivers,” I thought.
In the end, they poisoned the coffee. I made it a month after that, but my failing eyesight and ravaged kidneys eventually left me bed-ridden.
“Well, they just opened another location,” said Diane. “Business is booming. I hope you’re happy.”
And I wasn’t happy, but I was somehow content and I thought about everything then: Wal-Mart, art projects, even little amoebas crawling through the forest, one-hundred legs working beautifully in tandem.
“Nobody ever wins in these kinds of things,” said Diane.
“But if you had to pick a winner, you’d probably pick me because the coffee shop was on my way to work.”
Diane sighed and left the room. I dozed off and in my dream, they did pick a winner. They picked me and I was led over to a small stage to choose my prize: A brand new recliner or two new kidneys!
“The recliner,” I inquired. “How far back are we talking?”
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Can you please do an Instagram blurb with Isabelle Mathers?! 🤍
haters gonna hate - cl16
summary: charles’ new girlfriend gets tons of hate online because she’s a model. their answer? pissing them off even more
MASTERLIST | MY PATREON
liked by bellahadid, charles_leclerc and 1,278,544 others
yourinstagram my bf took this 🥵
view all 12,755 comments
ynfan1 SUCH A SLAYYYYYY
ynfan2 girlie when are you going to reveal who the bf is
dualipa MY WIFE 🤤 ♥︎ by author
anokyai Stunning girl ♥︎ by author
ynfan3 i would be absolutely insufferable if i had that face card
ynfan4 she has been soft launching this relationship for months now ughh i need to know who he is
↳ ynfan1 my guess is that it’s something reaaaallyyyyy really famous or like a billionaire lol
zendaya 😍😍 ♥︎ by author
charlesfan1 excuse me why did charles like this pic? 😭
↳ charlesfan2 idk but she needs to stay away we don’t want him near models
↳ charlesfan3 agreed
liked by yourinstagram, landonorris and 2,147,224 others
charles_leclerc Train, Rest, Eat, Repeat. 🤍
view all 22,462 comments
charlesfan1 OMFGGGGG
charlesfan2 im foaming at the mouth
scuderiaferrari 🙌🌊
charlesfan3 he can’t just post this and dip charles im salivating now
pierregasly can i come?
↳ charles_leclerc No
↳ charlesfan1 HEEELP 😭
charlesfan4 can you believe this man is single ?? like he’s looking like THAT and no one is jumping on his bones
↳ charlesfan2 i would gladly jump on his bones
yourinstagram 🤤🤤🤤 ♥︎ by author
↳ ynfan1 GIRL WE CAN ALL SEE YOU
↳ ynfan2 you have a boyfriend girlie control it
↳ charlesfan1 NO NO GO AWAY
↳ charlesfan2 ew can charles block her ?? we don’t need models seeking attention and thirsting over him
↳ charlesfan3 YIKESSSSS
liked by gigihadid, charles_leclerc and 1,307,466 others
yourinstagram life lately 🌺
view all 13,109 comments
ynfan1 that’s not a face card that’s a face ECONOMY
ynfan2 GIIIRRRRL WHAT DOES ALL THIS MEAN
bellahadid ❤️🔥❤️🔥
troyesivan mother is mothering ♥︎ by author
ynfan3 JUST SHOW THE GUY’S FACE FFS
ynfan4 since when is she into f1 😭
ynfan5 THE PUPPY ADORABLE??
charlesfan1 why did charles like her post again why did she get a dog that looks like leo and why does she pretend to watch f1?? WEIRD
↳ charlesfan2 for me it looks like she wants to grab his attention (or the attention of anyone from the grid) typical model behavior 🤢
charlesfan3 guys not what to speak anything into existence bc her dating charles is literally the last thing i want but,, what if?
↳ charlesfan1 nah there’s no way
↳ charlesfan2 literally the last thing we need is charles dating a model just NO
ynfan6 why are motorsport fans so annoying and why are they crying in this comment section about a scenario they created in their heads 😭 ♥︎ by author
liked by yourinstagram, alex_albon and 1,487,012 others
charles_leclerc Miami, feeling at home already
view all 18,426 comments
charlesfan1 BABYYYY
charlesfan2 he should quit racing and just become a model
instagram blessing miami with his presence
charlesfan3 THE HAIR 😩
yourinstagram 😍😍 ♥︎ by author
↳ ynfan1 she’s begging to be dragged by his fans help
↳ charlesfan1 you again ?? annoying
↳ charlesfan2 CHARLES PLEASE BLOCK HER ALREADY
↳ charlesfan3 this is getting embarrassing like charles will never ever notice her and he even has a gf now
↳ charlesfan4 ATTENTION SEEKING BITCH
↳ ynfan2 i can’t wait for them to confirm that they’re dating so his fans can cry even more
liked by charles_leclerc, adrianalima and 1,544,937 others
yourinstagram miami here we go 🏁
view all 16,388 comments
ynfan1 SLAYYYY
ynfan2 SHES GOING TO THE F1 GP OMG
sabrinacarpenter google search how to be you ♥︎ by author
madisonbeer damn 😍😍😍 ♥︎ by author
charlesfan1 stay away !!! no one wants you near charles
charlesfan2 the second picture.. she’s making a fool of herself atp YIKES
charlesfan3 this is why i hate the miami gp influencers are all over the paddock trying to get to the drivers and ruin everything
↳ charlesfan1 and this girlie has been trying to get charles’ attention through her insta posts 💀
ynfan3 i love to see f1 fans cry
scuderiaferrari We can’t wait to see you 👏 ♥︎ by author
↳ charlesfan1 NO GUYS DONT ENCOURAGE THIS
charlesfan4 y’all i think it’s time to face the fact that she’s probably dating charles (which i absolutely hate)
↳ charlesfan2 nope i refuse. charles deserves better than a dumb model who just flexes her looks and seeks attention from the media
↳ ynfan1 girl wtf 😭 a model’s job is literally that and that’s okay, and yn doesn’t need to “seek attention” she’s an A list celebrity already
charlesfan4 CHARLES IS NOT GOING TO FCK YOU !!!
↳ yourbff oh boy do i have a story for you ♥︎ by author, charles_leclerc
↳ ynfan2 CLOCK THEM CLOCK THEM
↳ ynfan3 THIS IS SO MESSY ALSJAI
charles_leclerc I can’t wait 😍 ♥︎ by author
↳ charlesfan1 NO
↳ charlesfan2 CHARLES LOOK AT ME THIS ISNT YOU
↳ ynfan1 im once again showering in motorsport’s fans tears
↳ ynfan2 YALL LOOK EMBARRASSING RIGHT NOW
↳ charlesfan3 charles dating a model… literally worst case scenario
liked by charles_leclerc, kaiagerber and 1,876,503 others
yourinstagram ❤️ @charles_leclerc
view all 23,590 comments
ynfan1 SUCH A FLEXXX
ynfan2 she knows what she's doing i love her
francisca.cgomes 💕 ♥︎ by author
↳ ynfan1 the other WAGs love her charles fans are miserable right now
charlesfan1 GO THE HELL AWAY
charlesfan2 when i'm talentless and want fame so i have to pretend to care about f1
scuderiaferrari We love to see it 👏
↳ charlesfan1 wbk this is a pr strategy FREE CHARL
charlesfan3 the way no one likes her YIKES
↳ ynfan3 your fave driver does !! cry about it !!
iamrebeccad Best company 👯♂️ ♥︎ by author
charlesfan4 charles deserves so so so much better than you
charlesfan5 jesus some of you are sooo toxic it's embarrassing
charles_leclerc 😍😍😍 ♥︎ by author
↳ charlesfan1 NO
↳ charlesfan2 BLINK TWICE IF YOU NEED HELP
charles_leclerc Mon cœur ❤️ ♥︎ by author
↳ ynfan1 his fans can keep whining and bitching, she still wins
↳ charlesfan3 i refuse to believe this is real
liked by georgerussell63, yourinstagram and 1,987,548 others
charles_leclerc Feels good to be back home 🤍
view all 21,720 comments
charlesfan1 NO CHARLES WHY
charlesfan2 i didn’t need or want to see the second and third pic thank you
ynfan1 AHHH HE POSTED HER
arthur_leclerc ❤️
charlesfan3 how are we going to get rid of that bitch i’m so serious
↳ charlesfan1 i hope he cheats on her
charlesfan4 ugly, talentless, money hungry, attention seeker, i could go on @yourinstagram
charlesfan5 can we ignore the bitch and focus on adorable little leo
pierregasly Lovely to see you happy, mate. All the hate comments are just dumb ♥︎ by author, yourinstagram
↳ ynfan2 CLOCK THEM
↳ ynfan3 man his friends are pointing out how stupid his fans look aren’t they embarrased 💀
fracisca.cgomes YN defense squad is here 🫡 ♥︎ by author, yourinstagram, pierregasly
↳ lilymhe I’ve arrived ♥︎ by author, yourinstagram
↳ ynfan1 pretty girls love yn ugly bitches hate her
charlesfan6 why are you so harsh to yn???? it’s getting out of hand
↳ charlesfan1 because shes a model and all models are bitches
↳ ynfan1 are you for real??? just bc her career is modeling doesn’t mean that she’s a bad person or anything, this is such a 2013 mentality
↳ charlesfan2 she’s just not ideal for charles and she’s probably just leeching off his fame and money
↳ ynfan2 news flash: you don’t get to decide what’s ideal for him or not ♥︎ yourinstagram
leclerc_pascale Je vous aime tous les deux ❤️ @charles_leclerc @yourinstagram ♥︎ by author, yourinstagtam
↳ ynfan1 HIS MUMMA SUPPORTS HELP HIS FANS REALLY DO LOOK STUPID
↳ charlesfan1 ffs why can’t anybody see that this “relationship” is a mess
ynfan2 charles’ friends, his friends’ girlfriends and his family are in this comment section defending yn and saying that their relationship is adorable but his fans think that they know better than all of them and charles should break up with yn 😭 peak deluluness ♥︎ by author, yourinstagram
charlesfan7 we will never ever like you btw @yourinstagram
yourinstagram Wow this post really caused some commotion 😂 we’re those bitches, aren’t we baby? @charles_leclerc ♥︎ by author, pierregasly, francisca.cgomes, georgerussell63, lewishamilton, iamrebeccad
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Obsessed
Pairing: Pro-hero!Bakugo Katsuki x Reader
Summary: Bakugo is obsessed with your ex and it’s driving you up a wall (Inspired by Olivia Rodrigo’s song Obsessed)
Word Count: 4.2k
Warnings: Smut, 18+
A/N: a few weeks ago I saw a post that was about this same concept, and I couldn’t find it to link it here unfortunately. I just thought it fit so well with him that I wanted to write my own take on it. Also this is just comedy, obviously his behavior in this would be problematic in real life so I’m definitely not condoning his obsession.
Minors DNI
Bakugo Katsuki’s eyes danced from cover to cover of every one of the magazines stocked in the stand at the convenience store he regularly stopped at after work. Each one baring a hero with advertisements of their interview inside. He noticed that some of his friends had even made the cover, notably Shitty Hair’s and Racoon Eye’s engagement announcement and a magazine that Dunce Face had recently modeled for.
But there was one specific cover he was glaring at.
His hands crackled.
Fuck it.
He hadn’t hesitated any longer before grabbing the magazine and staring at it with scrutinizing eyes.
Fucking Hawks
That fucking asshole was on the cover of another magazine— as if the other million with him on it wasn’t good enough.
He rifled through the pages, landing on the one that the cover said his interview would be on. It wasn’t one, or two, but four fucking pages long.
He read it furiously, eyes bouncing from each and every word.
‘What would you say is the most rewarding part of your hero work?’
Who gives a crap.
‘How have you learned to balance fame with being a hero?’
Absolute shit question.
‘Everyone knows you have a large female fanbase, so we’re all curious to know why you think that is?’
Because they’re all fucking idiots with shit taste, that’s why.
‘About two years ago you were part of a pretty big scandal when you were seen leaving your agency hand in hand with a hooded woman. Now that some time has passed are you willing to admit that she’s your girlfriend?’
No she was his fucking girlfriend, not that fucking asshole pretty boys—
The magazine blew up in his hands.
”Hey!” The store clerk yelled at the hero, “I don’t care if you’re a hero, you have to pay for that! What kind of business do you think I’m running!?”
“HAH!?” Bakugo puffed up his chest with a sneer as he stormed up to the counter, “MAYBE YOU SHOULDN’T KEEP SHIT MAGAZINES HERE IF YOU DON’T WANT THEM BLOWN UP! GET SOME BETTER SHIT! I’M OUTTA HERE!” He yelled furiously at the man before storming out of the store and slamming the door shut, shattering its glass.
The clerk ran up to the door in a rage, screaming something or other at the hero as he stormed down the sidewalk angrily.
He’d probably need to find a new convenience store.
Bakugo continued to stomp his way down the sidewalk as he walked to your apartment. He shoved his hand into his pocket and pulled his phone out, pulling up google.
He found his fingers quickly tapping away at the screen.
Hawks
Picture after picture of that stupid hero came up and his finger swiped through each one as he sneered at his stupid face that even Bakugo couldn’t deny was objectively attractive— not to mention he had this air of coolness around him, making every single goddamned thing he did seem effortless.
Bakugo was seething, passerby’s staring at him in fear as they watched him silently rage on such a beautiful, clear day.
Before he knew it, he was standing in front of your door, shoving the spare key under the mat into the lock.
”Hey, Kat!” You chirped, looking over at him from the kitchen, “How was work?”
“Fine,” he grumbled, walking over to you and taking a peak at the dinner you were cooking. Looked like chicken soup but knowing you and your cooking skills it was probably some amalgamation of whatever was in your fridge. “Couldn’t fuckin wait an hour?”he grumbled— he would’ve cooked for you if you weren’t so damn impatient.
”You were taking too long,” you whined, throwing some celery into the pot. “I got hungry.”
He grunted, reaching for your hips and turning you into him, slamming his lips into yours.
Hawks probably used to kiss you more gently— he could just picture him seducing you into kissing him, making you chase for it.
Not Bakugo. No, if he wanted to kiss you then he was going to fucking kiss you.
You pulled away breathlessly, a hairs breadth away from him, “Whoa— what was that for?”
He stared down at you with hooded eyes.
He was better than Hawks.
He could even prove it.
He turned the stove off and picked you up, throwing you over his shoulder.
”Hey— what are you doing!” You yelped, kicking your legs.
“Bedroom,” he grunted.
”But what about dinner?”
“I’ll fix whatever mess you started in there later. I’m making sure you work up a real appetite.”
* * * *
Bakugo’s hips smacked against your ass sharply, balls hitting your clit with every thrust, each slap louder than your muffled moans in the pillow you clung to for dear life.
One hand gripped the headboard as his other gripped your hip in a bruising hold. He stared at you, hunched over your trembling body as tears clung to your lashes.
Hawks couldn’t fuck you like this— no damn way.
But what if he could— he technically was the number two hero, while Bakugo was still stuck at number 15.
What if he fucked you better?
The thought had Bakugo fisting your hair and pulling you up, freeing your pleasured moans and cries.
”K-Kat— ah, fuck—“
Did you even mean to say his name? What if you really meant to say Hawks’— what if you meant Hawks every single time you ever said his name?
”Tell me you’re mine,” he grunted.
”’M yours— all yours Kat— only yours,” you babbled uselessly. He’d be lying if it wasn’t one of his favorite things about you in bed, given any sort of prompt and you just ran with it.
“Who fucks you this good?”
”Y-you! You do!— You fuck me so good Kat—ah- best cock I’ve ever had—“
He growled, wrapping his arms around you and hoisting you up, now fucking up into you as he held you against him, head lolling on his shoulder.
He bit down on your neck hard, making you cry out as he started sucking on it, sure to leave a nasty hickey behind.
Maybe Hawks would see. He knew neither of you even talked anymore but what if he’s just on patrol, sees you, decides to say hi, and finds that dark bruise right on your neck, sucked raw.
The thought had him bouncing you faster against him, his muffled groans into your neck sounding with your high pitched cries of his name.
He wound his hand down to your clit and rubbed back and forth furiously.
”Oh fuck—“ you sobbed, body arching and trying to get away, but he tightened his arm around you and held you in place.
”Cum pretty girl, cum around the best fucking cock you’ve ever taken.”
You came with a shrill cry, grasping for any part of him you could hold onto.
He came soon after, inside.
He knew he shouldn’t but something about cumming in you sated whatever beast was inside him.
You whined as you slumped into his arms, weak and shaky.
”You promised Kat.”
”Couldn’t help it.”
”Then you’re wearing condoms again.” You huffed as he lowered you down on your side of the bed.
He tsked, “Go on birth control.”
”I’m not fucking with my hormones.”
”Damn woman,” he growled, laying beside you, “I’ll get you a plan B, just quit your whining.”
”You’re wearing a condom next time.”
”Yeah yeah, fine.”
”And go make dinner.”
He pulled you against him, your body curling against him with your head on his chest. “In a second. Lemme catch my breath and help clean you up first.”
You huffed but nuzzled against him.
He liked having you curled up against him but he couldn’t deny there was an ulterior motive to him ‘catching his breath’.
He just really loved the fact that you were laying with his cum dripping out of you right now.
Not Hawks’s cum— Katsuki’s
The rest of the night went as it routinely did for the most part. He fixed the mess of the soup you were working on before eating you out and making you cum three times then fucking you for a second time… then a third time.
And when you thought he was finally done, you went to shower and get on with your shower routine only for him to walk in half way through your shower with his dick hard again.
He fucked you for a fourth time.
All with a condom.
”Seven times,” you breathed as your head hit the pillow. “You made me cum seven times tonight.”
Your limbs were sore, Bakugo had to carry you to bed. Your legs were basically useless now.
“What’s gotten into you tonight— it’s only a Tuesday.”
Marathon’s like these weren’t exactly out of the norm, but tonight felt so unprompted.
He grunted, turning on his side and pulling you against his chest, clinging to you like a Koala.
”I’m not allowed to want to fuck my girlfriend?” He murmured into your hair.
”No… just felt out of no where that’s all.”
”What? You didn’t like it?” He growled defensively.
You rolled your eyes, slotting your legs with his. Everything was always so dramatic with him, “No I liked it. Best cock I’ve ever had, remember?” You snickered.
His arms tightened around you… now he was thinking of the other cock you’ve taken.
”Better than the birds?”
“Oh my god,” you hissed, annoyance dripping from every word, “Really Katsuki? This again?”
”What? It’s a simple fucking question.”
”Yes. Your cocks better than Keigo’s. Happy now?”
Silence filled the room. You thought maybe he dropped it and you closed your eyes.
”Are you just saying that to shut me up?”
”Kat,” you snapped, eyes opening again. “Drop it. I’ve already told you everything about that relationship. Just move the fuck on— I already have.”
He was silent once again.
”Do you still have his number in your phone?”
You cursed to yourself… this was going to be a longer night than you thought.
* * * *
Bakugo stared out the window as you snored lightly in your sleep, burying his nose in your freshly washed hair.
He couldn’t sleep knowing he was laying in the same spot Hawks once had.
Did he used to hold you just like this too?
When you mentioned your ex in past conversations he had thought nothing of it. You were a civilian, your life was normal, he always figured this ex you mentioned was some boring ass nine to five guy that put the most generic shit in a dating profile like ‘Favorite Hobby: Traveling’.
Of course Bakugo would be better than that guy.
Come to find out you were in a long term relationship with the number fucking two hero.
What the fuck was it about you that attracted high ranking heroes of all people.
Like yeah you were cool and fun and magnetic and didn’t take shit from anyone— you were even able to go head to head with him in a screaming match which shouldn’t have been as attractive as he found it. Not to mention how fucking hot you were…
Okay fine, Bakugo thought you were goddamned perfect any man would be a fucking idiot if they didn’t find you any less than perfect like he did.
But still.
Number fucking two.
Hawks had always been cool and collected, saving people every day without lifting a finger. He dominated the skies and had a trail of girls drooling after him. The media loved him— everyone loved him.
Bakugo on the other hand… not so much. How could you go from someone like Hawks to Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight.
From number two to number 15.
One day he would become number one but he still wasn’t quite there yet.
Ever since he found out he had found himself thinking of the hero more than he ever had before. Hawks dominated every second of his life.
Is he still friends with your friends? Is he good in bed? Do you ever think about him? Is he easy-going? Not controlling like Bakugo sometimes could be?
Oh god.
He had issues.
* * * *
“Y’know they were in love,” Bakugo practically gagged.
Kirishima side eyed his friend.
He was seriously over talking about Hawks every single time he patrolled with Bakugo.
”Isn’t she in love with you now?”
”That’s what she says,” he grumbled.
”You don’t believe her?”
”No, I believe her. I just think she’s confused.”
He was really starting to lose it, huh?
”Don’t you think,” Kirishima started, choosing his next words carefully as he waved at a little kid they walked by, elbowing Bakugo to do the same. “It’s unhealthy to think about your girlfriend’s ex this much? It’s been like two years since they broke up hasn’t it?”
”19 months and three days.”
Oh boy.
”Okay… have you tried talking to her about your obsession—“
”IT’S NOT A FUCKING OBSESSION!” He suddenly exploded, hands crackling. “WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP SAYING THAT!”
Kirishima didn’t even flinch as he screamed, instead offering an apologetic smile to the civilians on the sidewalk. “Maybe because you started asking how he is in bed after you two had sex?”
”SHUT UP SHITTY HAIR, NO ONE ASKED YOU!”
“So you haven’t talked to her then?”
Bakugo growled in response.
���Maybe talk to him?”
Bakugo looked over at his friend, eyes wide as he watched Kirishima walk beside him with his arms crossed behind his head, staring up at the sky. “Talk to Hawks?”
The idea had never struck him before.
”Yeah. Maybe you just need to meet him. You’ve probably just built up this grand image of him that the media keeps perpetuating— he might not be as perfect as you think, they always did say never to meet your heroes.”
Meet Hawks.
Meet Hawks.
Yeah— he could do that.
Bakugo was suddenly blasting away from his friend.
”Hey! We’re still doing a job you know!?”
“I’m working by myself today!” He called out behind him.
Bakugo was on a mission.
He was going to meet Hawks and give him a piece of his mind.
The hero was often spotted perching on rooftops, miles away from his agency as any villain with a brain would know better than to commit a crime right by a hero agency— Hawks’s agency especially.
So Bakugo found himself bounding from rooftop to rooftop, searching the skies for that damn bird— he was also keeping an eye on the city, he was still a hero with a job after all.
But as the sun started to set, Bakugo grew restless, finally deciding to take a break and lay on one of the many rooftops he landed on.
No damn sign of him.
Of course he’d be hard to catch, his whole schtick was being fast.
Bakugo’s eyes narrowed at a cloud that reminded him of bird wings. He wondered if you two ever got up to weird sexual shit with those stupid wings.
His chest felt so damn tight every time he thought of him, like he could explode at any second.
He knew so much useless crap about him now that he read and watched practically every single interview of his.
He was a Capricorn.
His blood type was B.
He was 5’7” and 3/4.
His favorite food was chicken— goddamn cannibal.
He wondered if that was why you were in the habit of cooking chicken for dinner most nights.
You were together for two and a half years, that was a long time to spend with someone. What mannerisms have you picked up from him that he always believed were yours?
He pulled out his phone and pulled up Hawks’s instagram, scrolling through perfect photo after perfect photo of him and reading his replies to fan comments.
Damn bird probably didn’t even run his own account.
He tapped on his tags, scrolling down to one of the many photos that haunted him.
He remembered the news at the time, headlines reading ‘Pro-Hero Hawks Has A Girlfriend’ and ‘Sorry Ladies, This Hero is Taken’.
At the time he couldn’t give less of a shit, but now.
It was all he could fucking think about.
He stared at the photo of Hawks dragging a hooded woman by the hand out of his agency. He scrolled and stared at the second photo of him grinning down at the woman.
It was you all right.
There weren’t any other pictures of the two of you out in public and it irked him. It was like an itch that couldn’t be scratched as he wondered just how the two of you looked together in your relationship.
Did you have any pictures of the two of you in your phone?
That was when the sunlight was completely blocked, blanketing him in shadow.
He lowered his phone and his quirk nearly blew up the device.
Fucking Hawks.
His eyes followed the bird as he perched on a telephone pole near the rooftop.
”There a reason you’re lounging on a roof, hero?” Hawks asked with an amused smirk.
Bakugo only stared— was this real or had he actually lost his mind now?
He raised a brow at his silence, tilting his head, reminding Bakugo of an owl. “You didn’t get hit by a quirk or something did you?”
He suddenly had no idea what to say— he hadn’t actually planned anything out to begin with. He figured his mouth would take over like usual and he’d go from there.
”Wait, I know you,” he suddenly snapped his fingers, “You’re that hero Dynamight.”
”THAT’S GREAT EXPLOSION MURDER GOD DYNAMIGHT TO YOU.”
Hawks blinked at the outburst before he barked out a laugh.
”WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT BIRD BRAIN!?” He shouted, stomping his way over to the edge of the roof.
”Nothing, nothing,” he laughed, waving his hand, “That’s a great name.”
”ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF ME!” He screamed again, throwing his hand up and blasting off an explosion straight at Hawks.
Hawks’s eyes widened as he quickly darted upwards, missing the attack. “Y’know I’m pretty sure we’re supposed to be on the same side,” he called out, watching Bakugo as he seethed.
”Same side my ass,” he growled under his breath, “Is my girlfriend’s number still in your phone!?”
”Your girlfriend?” Hawks scoffed, “I don’t know who’s been lying to you but I can promise I don’t have your girlfriend’s number—“
”(Y/N) (L/N)!”
Hawks’s face fell, “You’re dating (Y/N)?”
”YES I AM, YOU STUPID BIRD.”
”Alright fine,” he shrugged, “I guess I do have your girlfriend’s number.”
Bakugo screamed as he hurled blast after blast at Hawks, to which he swiftly dodged each and every one.
He stopped, panting as he searched the sky for him as the smoke cleared, only to find the man standing in front of him.
”Is there a reason you’re trying to kill me? (N/N) moan my name while you two fucked or something?”
A fierce rage boiled in him at the nickname, “DON’T CALL HER THAT!”
He began shooting more and more explosions at him.
Hawks tsked.
What a bother— were you really dating this guy?
He sent his feathers straight at Bakugo, each one catching onto any piece of fabric it could without slicing him and another set of feathers sliding off his gauntlets.
He had Bakugo pinned against the rooftop, palms against the concrete.
Hawks walked through the smoke, staring down at the struggling, screaming man with an unamused expression.
He kneeled down. “You’re aware we broke up like two years ago.” He said flatly, this was so ridiculous, he could barely remember what happened the last time he talked to you.
”19 months and three days,” he spat.
“Whoa,” his eyes widened before a grin tugged on his lips, “You have issues huh?” He only laughed as Bakugo continued to scream at him. “You also know she’s the one that broke up with me, right?”
”Of course she did! Because you’re a fucking dumbass who can’t fuck!”
“Can’t fuck? She tell you that? Because I remember her telling me something very different.”
Bakugo saw red, now thinking about you moaning about Hawks’s dick the same way you moaned about his.
He sighed, standing up and crossing his arms over his chest. “Y’know… it’s been quite a while since I’ve seen her. And I suppose I should cut your rampage short. Let’s go on a little trip.”
* * * *
You hummed, dancing around your kitchen while you cooked. Bakugo was late, but that was fine, he probably got held up with hero work.
You knew he’d probably yell at you for cooking dinner without him again but you were sticking to a chicken dish that you had perfected so he could complain all he wanted while eating his deliciously seasoned chicken.
There was a knock at your door.
”One second!” You called out, quickly washing your hands. It was probably the landlord again.
You turned your music off, humming as you skipped over to the door and opened it.
Your smile immediately fell.
Keigo fucking Takami leaned against the wall across your door with your boyfriend, who was currently wrapped up in a bandage capture weapon from his ankles to his mouth, being floated by Keigo’s feathers.
”It’s come to my attention that you’ve lost something,” He coolly stated with one of those grins you used to see on almost a daily basis.
Bakugo was screaming into the bandage around his mouth, not a single word coming out coherently.
Your head fell as you pinched the bridge of your nose, “For the love of God please tell me I’m being pranked.” You groaned.
”Not today sweetheart.”
More screaming ensued. “Alright,” you huffed, “Come in I guess.” You moved to the side, Bakugo being floated into the room first with Hawks following behind, and his two gauntlets floating in afterwards.
Hawks looked around the familiar space, “You redecorated,” he stated calmly, before noticing your neck, “And that looks painful,” he pointed to the ridiculous hickey your boyfriend left on you the night before. He went over to the couch and placed Bakugo down, his feathers finally rejoining his wings.
He immediately rolled off, hitting the ground with a thud as he struggled.
Hawks quirked an eyebrow at him before looking back to you, “Dynamight huh? Little hero magnet aren’t ya?”
You shrugged, “Seems so— this one keeps my hands a bit more full though.”
”Just wait till he finds out about the other hero you dated.”
Bakugo struggled more, smacking his head against the coffee table.
”He’s fucking with you Kat!” You called out, walking over to him, now standing above your restrained boyfriend, “There was no other hero— do you have to rile him up even more?” You snapped at Keigo.
He only shrugged, “He tried killing me so I think that’s fair.”
You groaned, “I’m really sorry about that. I’m gonna talk to him tonight.”
He hummed, “Nothing I couldn’t handle. You look good by the way, it’s nice seeing you doing well after all this time.”
”Yeah, you too,” you grinned, “Hero work going well? I see you on the news almost every day.”
”Better than ever.” He smiled, “I’ll let you attend to him though, I think he needs the attention.”
You rolled your eyes, “Thanks.” You said leading him to the door, “And thank you for bringing him here, I’m sorry again for any trouble he caused.”
”S’alright,” he said, shoving his hands in his pockets, “I do have one question though,” he turned, facing you in the doorway, “Did you really tell him I can’t fuck—?”
“Good night Keigo,” you slammed the door in his face.
You walked back over to your boyfriend, watching him roll back and forth between the couch and coffee table as he struggled with the capture weapon.
”Oh Kat,” you sighed, “What am I gonna do with you?”
You sat on the couch, leaning down and yanking the bandage from his mouth.
He said nothing.
You raised a brow, “Really? You had a fuck ton to say when he was here,” you crossed your arms over your chest.
“You were flirting,” he grumbled.
”You tried to kill him? Really? You don’t realize how fucking psychotic that is?”
“… He called you sweetheart.”
”Okay,” you snapped, “This has got to stop Kat. Honestly it seems like you’re more into Keigo than me.”
”That’s absolute fucking bullshit, and you know it. I’m only obsessed with him because of you.”
”So you admit you’re obsessed?”
”What!? No!—I— shut up you fucking idiot!” He screamed, rolling on the floor again to try and break free.
”Okay, how are we gonna remedy this? What can I do to help you get over this? Therapy?”
He stopped, staring at the ceiling, ”… Lemme send him a picture of my dick in your pussy.”
”Absolutely out of the question.” You stated, utterly unamused.
”Sucking me off?”
“Nope.”
”Eating you out?”
”Try again.”
“Mirror pic of us in doggy?”
”Kat—… actually I can deal with that— but only if you agree to talk to a therapist. I love you Kat so I’m really gonna need you to drop this obsession with my ex or I’m gonna have a new one.”
”Fine!” He barked. “Doggy and a therapist.”
You nodded, “Doggy and a therapist— and did you pick up that plan B like you said you would?”
“…damn it.”
* * * *
[New Message… Unknown number]
[1 Attachment]
Keigo Takami: ‘Thanks. I almost forgot what she looked like in that position’
[New Message… (Y/N)]
(Y/N): Idk what you said but I’m begging you to stop riling him up. There’s only so much screaming I can take in one night
Keigo Takami: Good luck sweetheart, I’m sure you’re doing a lot more screaming than he is anyway ;)
(Y/N): Bastard
#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#mha#bnha#Bakugo katsuki#bakugo#katsuki#bakugo katsuki x reader#bakugo x reader#katsuki x reader#my hero academia bakugo#hawks#hawks x reader#keigo takami x reader#keigo takami#mha takami keigo#pro hero#pro hero bakugou#bakugou katsuki#bakugou x reader#bakugou x you#bakugo x you
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whats wrong with ai?? genuinely curious <3
okay let's break it down. i'm an engineer, so i'm going to come at you from a perspective that may be different than someone else's.
i don't hate ai in every aspect. in theory, there are a lot of instances where, in fact, ai can help us do things a lot better without. here's a few examples:
ai detecting cancer
ai sorting recycling
some practical housekeeping that gemini (google ai) can do
all of the above examples are ways in which ai works with humans to do things in parallel with us. it's not overstepping--it's sorting, using pixels at a micro-level to detect abnormalities that we as humans can not, fixing a list. these are all really small, helpful ways that ai can work with us.
everything else about ai works against us. in general, ai is a huge consumer of natural resources. every prompt that you put into character.ai, chatgpt? this wastes water + energy. it's not free. a machine somewhere in the world has to swallow your prompt, call on a model to feed data into it and process more data, and then has to generate an answer for you all in a relatively short amount of time.
that is crazy expensive. someone is paying for that, and if it isn't you with your own money, it's the strain on the power grid, the water that cools the computers, the A/C that cools the data centers. and you aren't the only person using ai. chatgpt alone gets millions of users every single day, with probably thousands of prompts per second, so multiply your personal consumption by millions, and you can start to see how the picture is becoming overwhelming.
that is energy consumption alone. we haven't even talked about how problematic ai is ethically. there is currently no regulation in the united states about how ai should be developed, deployed, or used.
what does this mean for you?
it means that anything you post online is subject to data mining by an ai model (because why would they need to ask if there's no laws to stop them? wtf does it matter what it means to you to some idiot software engineer in the back room of an office making 3x your salary?). oh, that little fic you posted to wattpad that got a lot of attention? well now it's being used to teach ai how to write. oh, that sketch you made using adobe that you want to sell? adobe didn't tell you that anything you save to the cloud is now subject to being used for their ai models, so now your art is being replicated to generate ai images in photoshop, without crediting you (they have since said they don't do this...but privacy policies were never made to be human-readable, and i can't imagine they are the only company to sneakily try this). oh, your apartment just installed a new system that will use facial recognition to let their residents inside? oh, they didn't train their model with anyone but white people, so now all the black people living in that apartment building can't get into their homes. oh, you want to apply for a new job? the ai model that scans resumes learned from historical data that more men work that role than women (so the model basically thinks men are better than women), so now your resume is getting thrown out because you're a woman.
ai learns from data. and data is flawed. data is human. and as humans, we are racist, homophobic, misogynistic, transphobic, divided. so the ai models we train will learn from this. ai learns from people's creative works--their personal and artistic property. and now it's scrambling them all up to spit out generated images and written works that no one would ever want to read (because it's no longer a labor of love), and they're using that to make money. they're profiting off of people, and there's no one to stop them. they're also using generated images as marketing tools, to trick idiots on facebook, to make it so hard to be media literate that we have to question every single thing we see because now we don't know what's real and what's not.
the problem with ai is that it's doing more harm than good. and we as a society aren't doing our due diligence to understand the unintended consequences of it all. we aren't angry enough. we're too scared of stifling innovation that we're letting it regulate itself (aka letting companies decide), which has never been a good idea. we see it do one cool thing, and somehow that makes up for all the rest of the bullshit?
#yeah i could talk about this for years#i could talk about it forever#im so passionate about this lmao#anyways#i also want to point out the examples i listed are ONLY A FEW problems#there's SO MUCH MORE#anywho ai is bleh go away#ask#ask b#🐝's anons#ai
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Back off, Bots
I am genuinely starting to get annoyed with how many obviously fake accounts are trying to follow me; I have literally lost count after 20. I have reported & blocked all of them, and I will continue to do so if it keeps happening.
It’s just really tiresome.
#pissing me off#spam bots#its so obvious too#every single one of them has an obvious I stole this picture from Google Images pic as their avatar#as well as no posts#come on you scammy bitches; at least put in some effort#I'll still ignore you obviously but you could at least have the decency to pretend you're trying to be impressive#dumb bitches everyone
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