#goofy one second dead serious at the drop of a hat

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

aroace sonic: *says the most flirty shit ever* also aroace sonic seconds later: *does a backflip of the couch and almost lands on his face* literally anyone: wtf.

He’s got the range

(Aroace Sonic compliments pt 4)

[popculturebuffet]

Mickey and the Roadster Racers: “Mickey’s Perfecto Day” and “Daisy’s Grande Goal” review or “I think i’m going out of my headcold”

Saludos Amigos!  I”ve been sick, and as such have had no energy or state of mind to continue my look at every apperance of the CABs in the us, concluding with a look at every episode of legend of the three caballeros. 

And today’s stop is one i’m only passingly familiar with: Mickey and the Roadster Racers. MATRR.. wait really that’s what it spells?

No Larry the Cable guy on this blog thank you.  Anyways, Roadster Racers is surprisingly complicated for such a simple show. For starters it’s the successor to “Mickey Mouse’s Club House” another CGI Disney Junior show, Disney’s equivalent to Nick Jr because their clever like that. And to continue the theme of ripping off other properties, the show was Disney’s stab at following the big fake interactivity craze started by Dora the Explorer. And it’s annoying as that sounds with a lot of pasues and an annoying recurring hot dog song that’s obnoxiously catchy. It was mostly just slice of life shenanigans with the mickey mouse crew and when retoolling it they decided to drop the now dated fake interactivity, turn up the slice of life and add some of those nitro burning funny cars vroom vroom. IN a sense genral g rated soft boiled mickey shenanigans with a racing theme. 

Not a terrible series but not terribly intresting hence why i’ve never covered it. It’s a bland inoffesnsive cartoon for toddlers. Enough effort is put in for me not to hate it, as even a toddler show can have effort, but not enoguh so that I really care. I’ve seen better, i’ve seen worse. The only intresting things are the racing gimmick and the fact that as said gimmick diminished they switched names to “Mickey’s mixed up adventures” in season 3. Hence the complicated part as it’s not counted as it’s own series but unlike other disney title changes they aren’t just slapping another label under the logo like the marvel shows. This is  a full on retool. But it still has the same cast and prodcution crew and is counted as part of mickey mouse. Point is it’s weird and not relevant since our boys didn’t show up in that season. Oh and as a final note I learned while writing this/ there’s a THIRD Mickey Mouse Disney Junior Series, Mickey Mouse Funhouse, coming next year. 

But with so little to cover I ended up throwing in a freebie. See normally I charge the same for 11 minute and 20+ minute shows. It’s fair as most 11 minute shows these days pack in as much character as the ones that use the full half hour. It’s just a diffrence in tactics is all. But here I felt obligated to do at LEAST two diffrent, but cabs related, 11 minutes here, so if I had nothing to talk about I could pad it out and If I had everyhting to talk about.. eh I still tried to do the right thing. I regret nothing. But yeah i’m sick, this series is eh, let’s gooooo. 

Mickey’s Perfecto Day So Mickey and Friends are preparing to drive to spain.

No i’m not making a joke. Wish I was would be one of my best but no, Mickey and Friends are just.. casually going to drive to Spain. To explain why this hurts my head a map, on which i’ve drawn the route they’d have to take to get to spain from, let’s say Calisota, the fictional state where Mouseton, Duckburg, New Quackmore, and thus probably Hot Dog Hills, the show’s setting, reside. 

This is a crue map, they oculd’ve gone down through mexico or central america.. but the point is THEY DROVE ACROSS THE OCEAN. And I genuinely do not know if their cars can do that but apparently they can. So either the writer didn’t know where Spain was or didn’t care and either way it’s bad. LIke at least give their cars a plane or boat mode. Go full DKR up in this bitch, give em diffrent racing vehicles. But it wouldn’t be as aggrivvating or bizzare if they MENTIONED how they were driving to spain, like maybe Donald’s car that’s also an old boat and goofy’s that’s a tub have aquamodes and can tow the rest. I get 5 year olds don’t care about this.. but still? I guess? Also MIckey is either the sorcerer supreme or jesus at this point. He can cross oceans by car, astral project, cross into other dimensions.. the only thing missing is raising the dead and  he already did that in the 30′s. 

So as for why the sorcerer supreme and his buddies are going all the way to Spain, Donald has a concert with the three caballeros and this time they all remember him as a memmber and Daisy’s a huge fan. Which is sweet. Then we hear donald duck talk and...

Yeah, Daniel Ross is not the best Donald. Now I will cut the guy some slack here: He’s a voice actor more known for doing bit parts who just got the role in 2016, since racers aired in 2017 and animation lead time and all that. He’s not going to be nearly as good as Tony or Clarence out of the gate. Even Tony wasn’t. He also had a valid reason for picking up the role as Tony likely had two series in production at that time, Rise of the Three Cablleros and Ducktales, and thus had to split his time between both. And having Chris Diamaptolus do mickey in the new shorts instead of his usual voice actor Bret Iwane despite Iwane not being in any serious danger of dying soon has worked out super. So having multiple actors isn’t the problem. Hell after the tragic loss of Russi taylor and with how bad the world is, having an understudy in mind for such an important role is a grim but understandable necicisty. While I belivie tony can go on for decades, he’s only human. 

So my issue is not on Donald’s voice being diffrent or new.. it’s that it’s not very good and the second episode featuerd here shows Daniel Ross really hasn’t improved despite now having worked as the character for a while.I can forgive taking some time to grow in but being this sloppy after a full season is just unacceptable. He’s BETTER but he’s still just not very good and doing the bear minimum. I don’t doubt he’s a good va in other rolls, I don’t want to hate on the guy, but I can hate on aperfomance when it’s bad and it’s not good here. It’s just not. Not in either episode not in any way shape or form. It just feels like a lazy donald duck impression. Disney can do better and Ross can hopefully find better work in the future. But for now this just hangs like a wet fart on his resume. 

Moving on, thankfully, we have our three stories split pretty evenly and all stock plots. “Horay”.  Mickey and Minnie: Mickey tries to have a “perfecto” day, hence the title with Minnie, but instead gives her a rose a baby bull likes.. or maybe it’s SUPPOSED to be full grown but while Mickey and Minnie treat him like a grown bull and react to him like one.. the boy dosen’t look at all, even in the series style, like an adult bull. he looks like a calf. Mickey.. is initimdated by a small child whose horns aren’t sharp enough to hurt him. 

It’s just REALLY distracting and takes me out of the plot which itself is as bland as plain toast and twice as dry. They flee him till the end where Minnie figures out the rose thing at the concert and they make an ew friend. NOt TERRIBLE but not great.  Goofy and Cuckoo Loca: Okay first off who and what is a cuckoo loca? Well she’s a wind up bird that lives in Daisy’s Cuckoo Clock and makes sarcastic comments in a brooklyn accent because nikka futtterman voices her. Still makes more sense than driving to spain. She’s not a bad addition to the cast.. not even that weird as most kids based franchises have an adorable animal sidekick to market. Goofy wants to try some “flamingo dancing” while in spain, with Loca going along to make sure he dosen’t die somehow.. which would be unjustifable for anyone but goofy. Also.. Flamingo Dancing...

But yeah Goofy goes up against ... world famous flamingo dancer horace horsecollar?!

Now apparently this is a common thing for him in this series, apparently, but still it feels like if one of those weird variant ninja turtle figures from the 80′s was a plot point in an episode. Like if we actually had an episode based around birthday magician raph. 

It feels just as odd and out of place for down to earth if showy horace to suddenly be the best flaminco dancer in spain, despite being very much white coded, as it does for the angriest ninja turtle to be pulling a rabbit out of kids hats. Now Rise of the TMNT raph I could totally see as a party magician but any other? He’d probably break his wand over some kids head. 

Goofy ends up winning anyway because he’s stupid, though Flamingo dancing should be a real thing even if this joke is bad and it shoudl feel bad. What an ODD subplot Okay one more then i’m free of this prison. 

The Three Cablleros Plus Daisy:  Okay finally we get to what I came here for. The Three Caballeros! And..they look a tad off. Not terrible but clearly the animators weren’t as skilled with non duck beaks as both of them look ready to do this to donald. 

While Panchito’s color varies. Sometime’s it’s a deep brownish crimson, sometimes it’s poop brown and there’s no classy way to put it. When he’s in this cheap cgi, he looks like a shit chicken. This gets to a larger issue though... the animation here is not great. It’s not TERRIBLE.. but it’s pretty freaking sub par for disney. And i’ve SEEN their other cgi shows around the same time due to having a young niece and nephew. Sherieff Callie, Doc McStuffins, MIles from Tommorowland, and after this T.O.T.S. and Rocketeer. I’m not saying these are masterpieces of the genre, but they have more effort in botht he animation and writing put in. Here it just feels like they do the bear minimum which feels really fucking wrong. These chracters deserve better and have thankfully gotten better. YOu can make a show for preschoolers that’s cutsey and harmless and still have it at least be creative god dammit. It’s why I don’t like covering this show. It just feels so.. lifeless. They try a bit here and there but outside of cuckoo, there’s nothing really new or intresting to really make kids love these characters and it bothers me. it bothers me a lot. 

Moving on thank god, the plot is bare bones as is the boys characterization. So far at least their character has been pretty consitent across all mediums. i’ts something I haven’t really touched on but their seen as world traveler’, Panchito being a Gaucho and Jose being such a ladies man this will probably happen to him eventually. 

I swear to god that was the only part of this movie I can remember. I’m  better off that way. But yeah without Panchito’s pep or Jose’s smooth talking ways, there’s just nothing for disney junior to work with so their just.. friends to donald who are nice to daisy. Which is very nice to see, but isn’t very intresting or gives me a lot to talk about. Donald eats a food that’s too hot, continues to talk poorly, and Daisy has to fill in. He gets back in at time and they sing probably the most forgetable cabs song yet. It’s.. not much honestly.  This was worth covering for completions sake but it dosen’t really add much. If nothing else it at least made me realize so far each mile of the ride has added something fresh to the characters: The original was the foundation, rosa gave them depth and made them feel like real people, and house of mouse made them feel like a big deal to other characters and made donald’s history as a cabllero part of his legacy as it should be. Each one so far has felt like it added.. this one just made me realize that and that is all. It builds on nothing adds nothing and there’s really nothing here other than MAYBE the brown/crimson design for panchito that carries over from the looks of it. The next two versions build on what rosa, the movie and to a lesser extent the house of mouse built. This one adds nothing. This plot is just.. inconqueintal. not bad for kids to know about them but even then it feels like a disapointing introduction. I fondly remember hte cabs episodes of house of mouse and even on rewatch they mostly held up despite some weak parts. This .. this will just be forgotten and I only hope legend and ducktales have done a better job keeping my boys alive in kids minds. God i’m depressed. Well at least this is over right.. right? 

Daisy’s Grande Goal

Okay as I said I was doing two, and rather than do this episode’s paired episode I decided on Season 2′s “Supercharged: Daisy’s Grande Goal”.. and cut the supercharged out of the title for the most part because why would you put the sutitle in your actual title. And only in some episodes. But yeah this season had a new gimmick, SUPERCHARGING... which basically means our heroes roadsters can go into super sayian tron super sayian mode and go real fast. They look real nice though and it has it’s own neat theme tune so there’s that. Otherwise the only other change is the animation which improves greatly. Seriously look at that shot above. That’s quality lin line with the ohter disney juinor shows. It’s still not as CREATIVE, but it’s not as slipshod as it started and I have to give them credit on that. 

So our heroes are in Brazil.. and as far as I can tell they drove there again.. but the diffrence is 1) you can actually DRIVE to brazil and 2) they have super fast super cars now, meaning even if the super charge mode has a timer, it can help with the commute. It’s also one of the boys actual home countries this time. I mean the episode isn’t built around the cabs.. but neither was the last one. Seriously I almost missed that: it’s three unrleated plots and really you could’ve just lenethed the bull and goofy plots a bit and left donald and daisy out. If your not going to use the cabs right hten don’t use them at all. Here though their used BETTER.. still not in the lead unforunately but at least them being on the brazilian soccer team makes sense as jose is from brazil and while panchito is it he’s his best friend, sometimes lover and always there when he needs him. So spending some time in brazil to play soccer/football isn’t a stretch. But that’s about it for their involvment: they say a few lines, are part of the brazilian team our heroes face, and we get Not-Donald saying “No Way Jose”.,,,

Sadly I can’t leave but the main plot is about Daisy’s Cousnt Almonda. She was in the previous episode which I did not watch but I do like both there being a valid reason why our heroes are here, and connection between episodes. While this season isn’t MUCH better.. it’s still better by some metric.  The plot is very basic: Almonda always wins at soccer ever since she and Daisy were kids, and it’s your basic “hero gets overcompetitive to finally win plot and learns to just have fun and to use teamwork heart of the cards and all that” It goes how you’d expect with Daisy hogging the ball and causing disasters and then a ten car pileup before cucoo yells at her, she realizes she was bad and also realizes Almonda had to practice hard to beat her, and ends up beating her through teamwork and you get it. IT’s not much But yeah ten car pile up.. that’s where it is intresting and rediculous as their playing soccer with cars. Which given i’ve always been an advocate for card games on motor cycles, seriously it’s not more rediculous than Yugioh was before that: in the anime and manga before 5ds we had table hockey but the puck is ice with nitrocylcrine in it, a battle with an escaped convict involving vodka and only using one finger, a chinese puzzel box that devoured souls, a dueling monkey, a whole hogwarts style school for dueling, duel spirits, our heroes childhood creations coming to life to help him, our hero merging with his androgynous childhood friend to fight the light of all evils, and on top of all of that, kaiba building a giant murder theme park soley to kill yugi and, even with how rich is he is, not even going to prison for the two months he’d get for that. My point is Yugioh is fricking weird and I love it so and card games on mortocyles is awesome.  Soccer with cars is alright. The teams are mickey, minnie, daisy and donald, for the US and Almonda, Jose, Panchito and.. Pancho Pete for the Brazilian team. Pete’s cousin. He apparenlty has a lot of em. Eh as long as we don’t get petkeem the african dream we’re fine. 

Why why did I make this. Why. But yeah it’s fine, not the best action ever adn the supercharge segments as I said look nice but as I also said ther’es just not a lot here. Daisy’s cousin is intresting, but likely more in the other segment. Here she’s more of a plot device to make daisy into an asshole for the episode so the plot can happen. There’s just not a lot to talk about> Hence me doing two of these. I will say it’s a better episode than the other one: it felt like more actually happened, it was more cohesive, had way more enerjgy and it had billy beagle... the series resident overexcited and loveable announcer voiced by the far from loveable jay leno of stealing conan’s job he gave him and last man standing, for some reason, fame. 

Overall these episodes are.. eh. The first one is kind of a mess, the second one is slightly better but these clearly werne’t meant for adults, let alone older kids and it shows. But I found some material here and made a horrifying combination of a terrible racist wwe gimmick and pete so.. I win/ I guess. I dunno, until next time, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye. 

[everyonesawhoregrace]

Nothing But A Memory

@awesomemikaus​: request where reader is Campbell's daughter, but she doesn't know anything, about the reason she came to town and so on, and Tommy plans to use her as a spy, approach her with that motive, but when she realizes that she doesn't know anything , falls in love with her, also that the reader is an angel. And then hell breaks loose when he finds out. very angsty pleaese

An: I'm gonna name my CHILD Sloan. Also , thank u for requesting this bc wow. I loved this. So much. So much that it's 4K words. X

"She can't get hurt, Arthur! Oi! Listen to me!" The brother was clearly upset by how nonchalant Arthur was to his statement. Only once the brothers met each other's eyes did Thomas feel comfortable enough to speak again. "She can't get hurt."

"She's our enemy, what the fuck do you mean she can't get hurt?!" Arthur's eyes widen, he can't wrap his head around Thomas's statement. Not even a bloody week ago, the two were plotting her death.

Thomas grabs a fistful of his brothers shirt and pulls him to his chest. "You lay a finger on her and I swear, Arthur..."

"She's Campbell's daughter." He reminds his brother, just in case he tumbled and took a fall for the worse.

"Please!" Tommy's never pleaded to anyone, let alone his brothers.

But with the weak way Thomas executes his words, Arthur feels a pang in his heart. Thomas falls back to his chair and lets out a shaky breath. He knows that his brothers fell spellbound to the lady.

"Fuckin' hell, Tom..." Arthur takes a step back, swallowing. You've fallen for her, haven't youse?"

3 Days Ago

Sloan Campbell arrived to Small Heath by the luck of the late night train. She was overjoyed to enter Birmingham, the busy, underdeveloped city. As a lover of history, she stayed concentrated in the vast city, occupying her time in libraries, city hall and the museum. Of course she was oblivious that her father, was on a special mission in the very city she was visiting. Alas, twas only Aunt Pol, John, Arthur and Thomas knew about Sloan's visit. It was the Shelby clan who had a plan to mercilessly sacrifice the lady in return for Campbell's injustices to them.

"He's causing chaos throughout the damn city nevermind our own business." Thomas banged his closed fist on the table, during their regular meetings.

The topic of inspector Campbell was brought up. Thomas got upset rather quickly before Polly Grey decided to make the boys feel reassured.

"You don't pay him no mind, we'll get him soon enough." Polly snaps, "Thomas sit down, I've got something to tell you lot."

She watched the colour return to their faces as she told them about Sloan Campbell, the only daughter that stems from the likes of inspector Campbell. She explains Campbell had a love so deep for his only child. He would do anything for Sloan. Anything.

It was Polly Grey who suggested the boys dangle the life of poor Sloan over Campbell, allowing him to flee the city in return for his daughter's life. It was going to be an exchange, simple, harmless. It would only scare the girl.

But it was Thomas who had allowed the darkness to consume him. Once Polly left, he had begun to stir up another plan.

"We need to punish him the way he's punished us." He said after a few drinks were in his belly.

Thomas put down his hat on the table and looked at the blades within the stitching of the flatcap. He was motivated by the idea of killing her.

Polly was discrete, only use her, do not actually harm her. Polly would no allow for the brutal killing of a lady. Especially an innocent one. And innocent she was. And yet, Thomas had different intentions.

Thomas continued. "Like the ones in the war who wanted us dead. We need to kill them before they kill us."

"Fuck yea..." Arthur concludes, after a line of coke. He rubs his nose and grabs a glass of whiskey from the table.

John speaks up. "We ought to blind her Tom,"

"No, worse. We kill her, and lay her body on the same ground Campbell walks so brazen on. This is our city, it's about time we show 'im that boys."

So, it was a plan, the brothers all agreed. Thomas was to be responsible for the capturing of the lady. Arthur and John were going to gut like her a pig and that Inspector Campbell will go running back to Belfast.

There he stood in city hall, awaiting her presence when someone tapped him on the shoulder. Who would've thought the person who tapped him was the lady herself.

Of course, she didn't know who he was. All she wanted was to know where the ticket booth was, after all, she had noticed the stranger had a ticket to the tour.

"Sorry to bother you, but could you point me where the ticket booth is?"

Thomas was frazzled, no, he was rather nervous. Not by the woman herself, nor the fact that the person he was going to shoot dead was standing before him, but rather, her remarkable beauty. She looked nothing like the photograph he was given, no, that was too old of a photo. It was blurry and did not do her justice. The woman before him was breathtakingly stunning, God like. She took his breath away, alongside everyone else within her presence.

He pointed to the ticket booth, she had smiled revealing such a pure soul.

She looked nothing like the awful Chief Inspector Campbell.

Following that dreadful day, Thomas followed Sloan around the city. She was shy, happy, she wore her emotions on her chest. She was unjustifiably beautiful. Petite, brown hair that framed her perfect face. She was the type of woman to use her hair to hide her face, and she smiled, and she laughed. She was goofy, original, she didn't want to please the fucking world. She simply wanted to live. Sloan would always drop a coin into the beggars hat, but more than that, she would stand beside him and ask him if he's alright. She was perfect, the more Thomas studied, the more his cheeks grew hot and his hands grew sweaty.

Yes, that she was, picture perfect.

Finally, Sloan had noticed him peeping one day while she read a book in the library, she raised her head as he ducked his. Pretending to be occupied in a book until she cleared her throat. Sloan stood before him.

"Can I help you?" She asked Thomas, who had looked up at her.

He wanted to run away, feeling his throat dry. He shut his book and got lost in her eyes. "Sorry?"

"You've been watching me from the second I got here. Never mind the fact that I'm nearly certain you're the same lad I had encountered a day ago 'round City Hall."

"I-" He began. Again, she's taken him by surprise. Thomas thinks fast. "I wanted to ask you if I can take you out. I find you beautiful and, yah, will you allow me to take you out for tea or somethin'?" He felt his heart race, his face heating up. He wanted to roll his eyes to the back of his head. Take you out for tea or somethin'? Really Thomas?

She chuckles, narrowing her gaze at him. But the truth was, Sloan was flattered. The man before her was a tall and handsome with great posture and teeth. Hopefully he's got a good paying job too.

No, to Sloan, the man before her was undeniable, most of the men in the world were pretty fucked up from the war. All they do is drink and fight. So, she cracked a smile and replied dubiously, "Alright then. I'm staying at the Midland Hotel, pick me up for eight tonight."

And with that, she spun around and walked her way back to her seat, where she opened up the book she was reading and started where she left off.

Thomas didn't tell the boys that he was going on a date with Sloan fucking Campbell. Instead, he told them that he was going to entertain the new barmaid Grace. They cheered him on, and off Thomas went.

Though it was a fake date, the closer the lad got to the Midland hotel, the more anxious and uneasy he got. Thomas was fumbling with his tie, shifting in his suit. He got feverishly irritated with the cuffs on his blazer and nearly tore them from his suit altogether.

Meanwhile, Sloan readied herself rather quickly. Wearing a navy blue dress and black kitten heels. She had allowed herself to calm down after finishing two glasses of champagne.

She stood before a mirror once finished and beamed at the finished product. "So, you find me beautiful?" Her serious, sexual face makes her giggle.

"Oh Sloan," She turns to her side and runs her hands along her dress. "You do look mighty fine though."

And she did, with her hair in light curls and a touch of makeup on. She put on her favourite perfume and listened to the radio, Sloan was a natural beauty, but she looked especially stunning tonight.

So stunning that when she walked down the stairs to the lobby, two men had offered their hands to assist her before Thomas was able to get to her. He made sure to claim her before any man would.

"Hi." She says, her hand falls into his. His hand is warm, and she flushes. The two are nervous.

Thomas stands tall, "Hi, you look..."

She's taken his breath away, all he does is shake his head. The silk material of the dress is plush around her curves. Thomas notices her décolletage, Sloan's stunning. Thomas quickly concluded and leans down to kiss her cheek.

"You look absolutely mesmerizing tonight, Sloan." He whispers in her ear.

She blushes, and as the two get on with their first date, she can't help but hold her tongue, wanting to tell Tommy the same thing.

He was kind hearted, chivalrous. He took her to a restaurant where people grew rather interested in Tommy and Sloan. 

They were numb to it, she discussed her passion of history he explained his passion of horses. They listened to each other in great detail. He explained that he had three brothers and a sister, to which she told him that she was an only child.

"Are your parents alive?" He asks, knowing the answer. But there was something so sweet about listening to her speak. Thomas grew fond of her voice, among many other things.

"Yes, and yours?" She tore apart a piece of bread and popped it in her mouth.

"No. Are you close to your parents then?"

She takes a sip of her wine. "I'm sorry to hear about your parents. Also. Yes and no. My mum and I are very close, but my father and I could have a better bond for sure." Sloan mentions Thomas's full plate. "How come you're not eating?"

He runs his sweaty palms over his pants, "I'm too nervous to eat." He replies honestly. His stomach twists and turns in knots. Somehow, the dinner that was supposed to be a stall before her death, ended up being so much more than that.

She blushes, looking down. "Do I make you nervous?"

Sloan looks at him with big eyes, and Thomas is nearly certain she's capable of murdering him. Right there. At that very moment. All he desires is her lips against his, and her body against his.

You take my breath away, Sloan.

After dinner, the two walked side by side down the street. Thomas has so many good qualities about him, it made Sloan very happy. Even though he was a hard shell to crack at first, he opened up and revealed things to her that he would have a hard time with admitting to anyone else.

Beaming, she up and into his eyes, "Thomas,"

"Yes." He raised an eyebrow, looking down at her.

"The people of the city practically bow down to you, I can't help but wonder what it is that you do."

His mouth twitched, "I own several businesses."

"Business that involve horses? You had told me you love them."

"Yes, something like that." Thomas doesn't want to give much away. After all, he is a no good criminal.

She chews on her inner cheek and Thomas smiles.

"Is there something else you'd like to ask me?" He stood in front of her, preventing the two from continuing their walk.

"No." She reveals, meeting his baby blue eyes. "I just want to tell you I had a great time with you tonight."

He ought to grab that face and kiss her all over. No, he thinks about the plan. How could he forget!? Death to the inspector’s daughter. But as she poured her heart into him, he can't help but put that idea in a cupboard in the deep depths of his mind, and shut the door. Death to the inspector’s daughter, no. Not her.

"As did I," He grins, and is startled when she rests her hand on his chest and leaves a soft kiss to his cheek. Thomas flushes, "Thank you."

She chuckles and mentions the hotel down the street. "Will you walk me to the hotel?"

Fuck. The end already?

Thomas nods and the two of them walk a little closer this time. He puts an arm around her and once they stood in the lobby together, Tommy Shelby willed himself to bent down and kiss her. Though it was a ballsy move on Shelby's part, Campbell deepens the kiss. She hooked her arm around his shoulder and went from a quick peck, to a passionate kiss.

She gives his hand a squeeze as she settles into her heels. "Thanks again for a tonight."

"No," He's drunk off of that kiss. Where did she learn to kiss like that? Holy hell. "Thank you." So much.

The two went their separate ways. Tommy feels as though he's walking on clouds. Sloan doesn't feel an ounce tired as she lays in bed, flattered by the kind words shared tonight.

Once he's home, he doesn't resort to the drugs as a sleep aid, but rather, Thomas falls asleep dreaming pleasantly of Sloan.

The two became inseparable. Thomas surprised Sloan with flowers the following day, he took her to Johnny's Yard, where they spent an evening under the stars. They held hands this time, and he smiled and laughed more. He wanted to kiss her lips again, and she wanted nothing but the same.

"You've brought me to the outskirts of the Small Heath, where there are portable homes and plenty of cow shit to keep a garden alive for years!" Sloan pinched her nose, giving Tommy a silly face as she sat beside him. "I wish you had told me, I wouldn't have worn heels."

The two of them sat under the stars. The soft autumn breeze was welcoming. The women from the homes had prepared a dinner for the young couple. Thomas was adamant on keeping Sloan out of the city. Campbell had harmed Polly just hours ago, and that scared Thomas. He feels conflicted though, with admitting to his family that he fancies the Inspectors daughter. Thomas doesn't quite know what to do.

"I reckon I was conceived here." He whispers, kissing the top of her head.

Sloan laughs, burying her face in his chest. "Well I'm honoured to be here, then. Despite the cow shit."

Thomas flushes. "I want to own this land someday."

"You should." She looks up and smiles at him.

"I've never told anyone that before," Tommy chuckles. He notices the long grass shift in the wind. "I've never really thought about the future like this, before."

"Why?"

"There was nothing really good for me to look forward to until now." He found himself looking at Sloan before admiring. "Until I met you."

Her heart melts, and she lunges at him, covering him in kisses.

Laying together afterward, Sloan had noticed the stars in the sky settle into bright white lights. She smiles helplessly, cuddling into his chest, the smell of him is delicious.

Thomas also gets lost in the night sky, with his lady by his side, what else can he do except take a deep breath and feel like life is complete. That night the two of them made love under the stars. It was slow and soft, yet feverish and passionate.

Sloan had giggled as the Thomas laid on his back struggling to breathe. "What is it?" He asked, oh, he could hear Sloan laugh forever.

"I've never made love outdoors before." She whispers.

"Nor have I." He replies honestly.

The two lay nested together until they fall asleep.

He had been stalling with the boys. Apparently things between "Grace the Barmaid" and Thomas had been progressing. The boys believed it, gullible they are. Polly stuck her nose up as Thomas told the family a lie. But regardless, they agreed, a day after tomorrow, they were to kill Sloan Campbell.

That evening as the two of them laid naked, listening to their soft breaths and the night sky, he had something very important to say. Something that's been occupying his mind since the first time the two of them went on a date.

"Sloan, why aren't your father and you close?"

Certainly she's just as fucked as her father is. It was John who said that as a way to excuse the fact that they were going to kill a woman.

"Well I don't agree with the things my father does, his values, his beliefs, they're...well, they're quite terrible." She reveals, feeling comfortable with talking to Tommy about this. "Aside from the fact that he used to hurt my mum."

He grits his teeth at the thought of young Sloan having to witness any form of abuse within the home.

Thomas cradled her head on his chest, as he tended to do after the two of them made sweet, sweet love. So, John was wrong, she isn't bad like her dad. She's just as loving and good as Thomas knew she was all along.

With that, he goes on to ask her an extremely important question. "Do you reckon you love me, Sloan?"

She stops running her hand over his chest and sits up to look at him. She's red from the sex, or perhaps it's the question he's asked her. "Tommy-"

Thomas sits up and combs through her hair. The loose curls that fall from her bun. "Honestly. Do you?"

"I..." She said, her eyes drift elsewhere. "I do have strong feelings for you but love?"

He swallows, making up his mind rather quickly. "I love you, Sloan. And I'm going to propose somethin' and I want you to listen to me."

Her eyes widen.

"Come away with me. Let's go somewhere only we know, somewhere quiet and freeing and-"

She puts a finger on his mouth. "What are you talking about? Running away?"

He grabs her wrist and Tommy leans in to run a hand over his jaw. He gets lost in her sincere eyes. "I don't much about the world, Sloan. Hell, I feel as though I barely know meself sometimes. But a life with you, I do want. I-I need it, to be honest." He set his lips firmly, his time his thumb runs over her bottom lip. "I'm certain about you."

"We can't run away together."

"Why not? I've got enough money to travel the world-" Please, please, please allow me this!

"I want to stay here." She whispered, watching the colour in Tommy's eyes shift from a soft blue to a the bright sea blue. Her fingers caress his cheek just as he was doing to her. "With you, n-not run."

His shoulders dropped. But he had hope, one last sliver of hope. Thomas noticed the crease in between her forehead and gently kissed it. "Meet me here tomorrow evening. Think about it, Sloan. I'll have my bags packed, and I hope you will too."

She nods, agreeing that she'll consider the idea of running away with Tommy.

Unfortunately, that night, when Tommy dropped her off at the hotel, he didn't receive a goodnight kiss.

Sloan didn't sleep. She paced around with nothing but an occupied mind. The truth was, she was beginning to fall deeply in love with Tommy. But to run away? It was something she didn't want.

It led to so many questions, like why did he want to run away? Why was he so adamant? Sloan felt her heart sink to her stomach as her heart rate lowered, she fell asleep with nothing but an aching heart.

The following morning, Tommy stood before his family. Today was the day Sloan Campbell was to be murdered. Polly still hadn't a clue of their plans so she was not invited to the final meeting. The entirety of that meeting, Tommy was quiet. He had his bags packed at home. He had sent a letter addressed to her to the Midland Hotel, a love letter if you will. One that contains solid information that will hopefully push Sloan into leaving with him. 

"Why is he being so quiet?" John had grumbled to Arthur who shrugged.

"I 'ave no fuckin' clue." He whispered back before the doors to the Garrison opened, revealing a shaken Polly. Her eyes are hungry for blood, her eyes set on Tommy.

"Been doin' your job have you?" She asks, hasty and panicked.

"What?"

"Spying on Campbell's child, Tommy, hows that been?!" She’s got her hands on her hips.

Fuck. He's been caught. Before he can confess, or lie, he cheek is met with Polly's hand. She slaps her nephew hard, like when she had caught him stealing from the baker down the street.

"Have you no disregard for this family?! You're fucking his daughter!"

Arthur stood from his seat, his eyes meet Thomas’s. "What the fuck is she talking about, Tom?"

“Oh yea, I’ve heard about the love letter you’ve written to her. The delivery man was practically shaking in his boots, Tom! Soon, Campbell himself will know about this!” 

“Listen to me-” Thomas begins, but Arthur lunges forward but John grabs his older brother. 

“Enough, Arthur! Sit down!” 

“I ought to kill the both of youse!” Arthur barks.

"She can't get hurt, Arthur! Oi! Listen to me!" The brother was clearly upset by how nonchalant Arthur was to his statement. Only once the brothers met each other's eyes did Thomas feel comfortable enough to speak again. "She can't get hurt."

"She's our enemy, what the fuck do you mean she can't get hurt?!" Arthur's eyes widen, he can't wrap his head around Thomas's statement. Not even a bloody week ago, the two were plotting her death.

Thomas grabs a fistful of his brothers shirt and pulls him to his chest. "You lay a finger on her and I swear, Arthur..."

"She's Campbell's daughter." He reminds his brother, just in case he tumbled and took a fall for the worse. John tries to break the two up, but there isn’t a soul that can tame Thomas when he’s passionately angry. 

But with the weak way Thomas executes his words, Arthur feels a pang in his heart. He knows that his brothers fell spellbound to the lady.

"Fuckin' hell, Tom..." Arthur takes a step back, swallowing. “You've fallen for her, haven't youse."

"She's happy." Thomas whispers, looking down as he chucked his cigarette on the cold street. "With me, I mean, she's happy."

“Fucking hell!” Arthur slams his hand against the table. “Out of all the girls in the land, you pick her!” Of course Arthur was thrilled for his brother, after all, he hadn’t been with a woman since before the war. But Sloan was too risky.

Polly speaks, "Tommy, you cannot love a woman like that, she, her father is an inspector for the government."

"But I am."

"You are what?" She's afraid to even ask.

"In love with her." He whispered.

“What do you want to do then?” Arthur finally asked after calming down. “Marry her and run off?” 

He felt his breath shake, “I honestly don’t know.” 

And yet, he found himself in Johnny's Yard at dawn. Thomas stilled as she stood on the grounds. He had wished, prayed and pleaded that she would accept his letter and pack her belongings. He saw her frame at the top of the hill, she stood beside the tree the two had laid in the past two evenings. Sloan’s heart was breaking as she stood by herself. No bags packed, all she had was the letter he had sent her at her side. She had met him here, this was the second time, and like the first, Sloan was quite anxious of what was to come.

Thomas didn’t allow the time or heart to say anything, so, instead, he cocked his gun back and swallowed. With her back to him, be began. "In the bleak midwinter."

She was shaking, and it pained Thomas to see her this way. She dropped the letter, the wind consumed it. Thomas looked up and watched as the love letter soared into the air.

"Thomas," She whispered. Sloan felt her heart in her throat, choking her. She clenched her fists. "Please why are you-"

"Shut up!" He snapped, it tore him apart. "Shut up."

Tears roll down Sloan's cheeks, all she can do is muster the strength to turn around. Her eyes met Thomas's, and when she saw the barrel of the gun, Sloan did feel like dying. Her heart was broken, the man she had fallen so rapidly in love with was going to kill her. This was a devastating love story. A tragedy she had read about in Julius book, Creid Erton.

"You didn't mean any of it then?" Sloan's voice is shaky as she speaks so timidly. "The love, the vow to protect me."

“I told you we should leave together. You should have listened.” His eyes glazed over. “You should have listened!” He shouts, and his fingers rim the trigger. 

There is a pop, and a bullet sores between the two. Tommy grabs Sloan and forces her to the ground, she gasps, looking up at Thomas who shields her, “Stay down.” He tells her. 

“Sloan!” Campbell’s voice comes from the bottom of the hill. “Shelby, you bastard, give me my daughter!” 

Sloan panics. “Let me talk to him” She tells Thomas, “He won’t hurt me if I tell him I’m safe-” 

“No!” 

“You pointed a gun at me, he thinks you’ll kill me.” 

Fuck, she’s right. “Be careful, please.” Thomas allows for her to stand, she slowly makes her way towards her father. 

“Dad, I’m alright.” She has her hands up. 

“What the bloody hell, Sloan?! What are you doing with Tommy? Do you know who this man is?!” Campbell lowers his weapon. 

“I love him, dad.” She starts.

“Love!?” He laughs, and raises his gun. “Yer just as stupid as yer mother.”

Thomas gasps and Sloan lets out a cry before a stray bullet punctures her shoulder, she falls back and sees the beautiful sky. Thomas is on his feet and shooting at Campbell who dies from a gunshot to the head. 

He races down the hill and grabs Sloan who is losing more blood every second. Thomas put pressure on it, and she screams in pain. He repeats that he loves her, and he’s sorry. Her world goes dark and the next time Sloan wakes up, she’s in a hospital in Belfast. 

And Tommy Shelby is nothing but a memory.

[plutoisaplanet16]

21 Reasons to Love Someone

(Damien Haas x reader)

#1. Their Smile 

Word count: 1,644

Warnings: none (SFW)

Buy me a coffee

Two words: Defy Media.

     At first excitement coursed Damien’s being as he thought about the prospect of having a job where he could sit around and play games all day. However, it did not take him long to feel the same way everybody else in the office did. You knew the pressure took a toll on him when the first thing he did after work was sleep. Damien’s personality shined through on camera, but being the entertaining ball of sunshine for so many videos each day overwhelmed him. When he came home he would say a mindless “hello y/n” and perhaps jokingly say “hello my baby geese” to Freyja and Zelda, but after that he would close the door to the bedroom and plop down on the bed. Sometimes he wouldn’t even bother to take his shoes off. Usually you would just leave him alone for a couple hours until you finished making dinner or the postmate had arrived.

“How was work?” you would ask as you handed him his meal.

He would always tell you, “It was good, but I won’t go into detail. Too much happened today; I’ll probably miss something if I try to tell you.”

     Damien would always laugh it off and pretend like it was nothing, but you knew better than to buy into his nightly act. After nearly a year and half of dating, you knew what Damien did when something bothered him. Comedy was his coping mechanism, but after the bright laughter ceased, his face fell into a blank expression: the sparkle in his eyes dulled, his normally rosy complexion seemingly drained in an instant, and lastly, silence filled the room. It was quite frankly the most bizarre phenomenon to behold. All you wanted to do was grab his soft face and kiss his forehead to try and convince him that everything would work out, but this wasn’t a fanfiction or a cheesy romantic comedy. People are more complicated than that.

     So that’s how you ended up awake at 3:17 a.m. scouring the internet for Harry Potter house robe cat costumes. Your dry eyes and blurry vision did not deter you from finding that one Esty shop that would grant you wish. Was each costume going to be $45 plus shipping? Yes. But did that stop you? No. This was a mission of love, and for Damien, you would go any distance to see that adorable goober genuinely smile.You were just about to place the order when Damien’s arm pulled you closer into his chest as he looked over your shoulder. Without thinking, you stupidly threw your phone across the room. Luckily it landed in a soft, plushy chair in the corner of the room. 

“Y/n, what was that about?” Damien shook his head. 

You struggled to find an answer, “Um...uh...”

“Do I even want to know?” he chuckled, “As long as it’s not Tinder I don’t care enough to lose any more sleep.”

“I would never cheat on you!” you exclaimed.

He sleepily mumbled, “I know. I’m too sexy.”

     You laughed to yourself as you left the bed to go retrieve your hopefully-not-cracked-phone. You quickly placed the order and crawled back into bed. It was rare that Damien ever complimented himself like that. It reminded you of the Damien you knew before Defy... the Damien who ruffled his hair and smoldered at the camera for a selfie. It was so nice to hear Damien still have his moments of confidence. It gave you hope that your plan would actually work.

5:15 pm. It was almost time.

     You had just finished making dinner, and you rushed to set the table neatly. To be honest, what you made shouldn’t even really be considered dinner because it was more or less a buffet of different movie food such as: M&Ms, twizzlers, chips and homemade dip, tiny sandwiches, and of course popcorn. You arranged them into a deliciously looking spread in the finest plastic bowls the dollar store had to offer. (Neither one of you would really want to do dishes anyway.) Once it looked perfect you turned towards the living room to hunt down Freyja and Zelda. You had the costumes neatly folded on the top of the  grey, cloth couch. Luckily Freyja was napping on the cushion below them; you petted her gently and unfolded her Ravenclaw house robes. She yawned and stretched right as you were about to wake her. Her eyes fluttered open, and she sniffed the robe. Freyja backed away and her big, glossy eyes moved back and forth between you and the costume.

“It’s for Daddy, okay? Work with me here, please Freyja.”

     She meowed back like she understood, and from then on she was compliant. Next, you had to hunt down Zelda. It honestly amazed you how well that chonky cat could hide. You called out her name for what felt like forever until you yelled that Damien would be home soon. A small meow came from underneath the couch.

“Just what am I to you guys?”

Zelda came out and before she even knew what was happening, you squeezed her into her Hufflepuff robes, “Finally.” 

      Everything was almost perfect; the last thing you had to do was put on your own house robes and get all eight Harry Potter movies out of storage. Sure you would never be able to finish them all in one night, but both of you would give it a valiant attempt. Digging the movies out of the bin would prove to be a challenge because both of you were giant nerds that for some reason decided to just throw all your nerdiness into several boxes and NOT label them. In the fourth of six boxes is where you found the first three movies, and the rest were at the bottom of the fifth box. You decided that after all this was over you and Damien were sure to be doing some serious decluttering for the next week or so. Meanwhile, you had to go light some spooky looking candles, somehow avoid going ahead and digging into the scrumptious food, and put the first DVD in the console. 

     As the first movie finally loaded, Damien unlocked the door and walked in, “It smells like a theatre in here. What happ-”

     He stopped dead in his tracks when saw you with the Sorting Hat on your head and your Harry Potter robes. His face was full of wonder and confusion as he took a couple seconds to slowly look around and examine his surroundings. He giggled at the spooky yet romantic lighting as well as Hedwig’s Theme rattling the walls of the apartment. You hoped you two wouldn’t get noise complaints...again. Damien walked closer towards you, but soon Freyja and Zelda ambushed him by rubbing themselves up against his legs.

He looked down in disbelief, “Freyja...Zelda? Y/n?”

“I’m glad you know all our names,” you teased.

“What is all this? Their costumes? The candles? The food? Harry Potter?” he sat down on the floor next to you.

“Listen Damien, I know something has been up with you these past couple of weeks. I know you love Smosh and your job, and it doesn’t make sense to me why you would be hiding how you really feel from me,” you said.

“Y/n,” he sighed, “It’s complicated, okay? Half the time I don’t even know what’s going through my head when it comes to talking about my day. You are right. I love my job, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. However, I’m having a tough time right now. There are a lot of videos we film in one day, and for someone like me it can easily become too much. The biggest issue is our parent company itself never listening to us; it is so frustrating. I don’t like spreading that kind of negativity so I shove it away, but it seems it has still affected you. It’s hard for me to talk about, and honestly, I just want to figure it out on my own. I don't want to bring you down with me.”

You were kind of hurt that he didn’t feel comfortable telling you everything but you had to respect him, “It’s okay Damien. I won’t push you, but please let me in on some things. I hate sitting here watching you be miserable not being able do a single thing about it. I want to help you, and that’s why I did all this. Sometimes you walk in here, and it’s like I don’t even know who I am looking at. I believe you will find your footing at Smosh, and everyone will soon adore you. I know it didn’t take me long to fall in love with you.”

Damien blushed, “Oh really?”

     He smiled. He actually smiled. It was a complete 100% authentic goofy Damien smile that spread from ear to ear. He felt happiness deep down inside because of you, and that is all you could ever ask for. Being the ooey-gooey romantic person you are, you threw yourself onto him and gave him a big kiss on the forehead. No, that kiss wouldn’t really fix much, but it made both of your hearts melt. When you pulled away you looked at his face again; he was still smiling, but it wasn’t the same as it was a moment ago. Instead of bright and bubbly, it was a small adoring grin. His eyes bore into yours, and it was like everything else around you two disappeared. 

“Y/n?” he asked.

You answered, “Yes?”

He pulled you into his chest and tightly wrapped his arms around you. His soft heartbeat became like white nose to you, “How come you fell in love with me so fast?”

You pulled away from him and kissed his lips, “How could I not with that smile of yours?”

---------------

Hello! This is my first Smosh fanfiction I have ever wrote. I’m not new to the fanfiction writing world. I’ve had two wattpad accounts and even wrote on a BTS fan app for a while. I dropped this hobby of mine to focus on my senior year of high school. Recently though I have come back to writing due to being stuck in the house and my school year being pretty much over. I decided to start this prompt series because I was bored and itching to write something again. I hope you all have enjoyed this short imagine. It is part one of a twenty-one part prompt list that I have made up myself.

This specific list will, for now, only include past and present Smosh members, but if you would like to see any of these prompts for other fictional characters or  real people please let me know in my inbox! I have no requests, and I would certainly love some. Thank you all for reading this! 

[freebooter4ever]

The pirate battle and young idiots falling in love bit that I wrote for the AMAZING sledgefu pirate au @persipneiwrites started!!! I channeled all my silly loneliness into pirate fanfic just for you all...

Waking up to Captain Merriel "Snafu" Shelton - the most feared pirate in the Americas who once sacked an island fort in under an hour leaving no survivors - drooling on his pillow, his face slack with sleep, and a single curl sticking up straight off his forehead, is a bit disingenuous.

Eugene is discovering that the only time Snafu actually looks his age is when he's asleep. A sight which Eugene is becoming weirdly accustomed to seeing, now that he's started sleeping in the Captain's quarters. Especially considering it conversely means that he rarely sees Shelton otherwise. Avoiding someone on a ship is nearly impossible and takes an intimate knowledge of the schooner's inner workings that borders on anal retentive. Snafu is apparently an expert.

Sleeping with the Captain hasn't done much to improve Eugene's standing amongst the crew either. The small torments, like his hammock being destroyed or his clothes being swapped with worse and worse cast offs from other men, stop. But they've been replaced with a new level of suspicion and distrust. For starters, everyone assumes that the two of them are also sleeping together which is a rumor that Eugene doesn't know how to dissuade even if he wanted to. His new small amount of protection against snide remarks and rudeness seems to be solely based on the fact that everyone thinks he is the Captain's favorite.

A Captain who Eugene hasn't actually said more than two words to in three days. Eugene almost misses the sexual innuendos, he is so desperate for someone to talk to. Luckily he only has to survive this for another five days before they reach Mobile.

As a result, Eugene spends a lot of time alone in the cabin, even when not sleeping.

He is surprised by how interesting the cabin is. The level of detail in the maps is astounding. Some of Shelton's notes hold a finesse that Eugene has never seen before. It's impressive. Eugene corrects a few of Shelton's corrections, but otherwise everything is accurate.

What is also impressive is how quick Eugene learns that fiddling with Shelton's papers was a mistake. The first clue is that it finally forces Snafu to seek Eugene out. The second clue is how angry Snafu looks as he storms towards Eugene on the deck.

"Keep your hands off my maps!" Shelton growls.

"I was only editing a few spelling mistakes," Eugene argues.

"I don't care how it's spelled, I only care how I hear it, cause that's all that matters," Shelton snaps.

"Spelling is spelling, it's either right or it isn't," Eugene retorts.

"They're my words on my maps from my memory. I will spell them how I want!"

"I was trying to help!"

"You are as helpful as a diseased monkey!"

"Fuck off, Shelton!"

"Fuck you, Sledge!"

"Shut up!"

"You first!"

"Fuck you Shelton!"

A sudden clang from a dropped cannonball interrupts their argument. They both stop and look. The entire crew is arrayed around them, watching like they're the latest gossip fodder.

Shelton straightens, his face still as mean as a snake. He silently grabs Eugene's wrist and drags him to the front of the ship. He throws Eugene against the large front pole thing, and says coldly, "Touch my things again and I will lock you in the cabin until Mobile. And how many times do I have to say - don't argue with me in front of the crew."

"Wouldn't locking me in the cabin have the opposite effect? I could scribble all over your maps to my heart's content," Eugene refuses to be intimidated.

"Do that and you'll die."

"The maps would still be scribbled on."

"Sledge…"

"I suppose you could take away all the writing utensils. But if I was vengeful enough I could just shred everything."

"Don't."

"Where would you even sleep? Can't say I wouldn't mind having that big bed all to myself but it'd get awful lonely…"

"I slept in a hammock for the first sixteen years of life, I can certainly do it again."

"Your mama kept you in a hammock as a baby, cause that seems a little impractical?"

"My mama was already dead when I was a baby."

"Oh," Eugene pulls up short in the conversation. And makes a new discovery. Shelton looks like the wide eyed young man he truly is during two times: when he is asleep, and when he is vulnerable.

"This boat's the only family I got left," Shelton brushes Eugene's concern off casually.

"Why do you call it that?" Eugene asks, changing topics deliberately.

"What?" Shelton looks confused.

"Boat. Why do you call your ship a boat?"

Snafu shrugs, "Cause that's it's name."

"You can't be serious," Eugene says flatly. Just when he thinks this pirate can't be any more of a farce, Shelton manages to surprise him.

"Look over the side, see for yourself," Shelton smirks proudly.

Eugene does. He gets a wolf whistle from the Captain as Eugene bends over the rail that he chooses to ignore. But sure enough, painted on the side of the ship is a single word, "Boat". It's such a dumb shock, Eugene's hand slips.

Strong hands immediately grab his hips to hold him in place and keep him from falling overboard.

"Shelton!" Eugene yelps.

"Just trying to keep you from dying before I can kill you," Shelton replies.

Eugene hastily clambers back down to the deck and turns around. Shelton has a lascivious grin on his face, and his eyes slowly travel up from the general vicinity of Eugene's ass. Eugene can feel his face burn, and he curses his red hair and pale skin that gives away everything.

He also notices how large Shelton's hands are proportionally to the rest of his body. It's not something he wants to dwell on. So he continues the conversation.

"Who in their right mind names a schooner 'Boat'?" Eugene asks.

Shelton crosses his arms and takes a step away from Eugene to lean against the opposite rail. "Had to paint over the old name, so the original owner wouldn't come calling," Shelton says defensively as he stares at his feet, "Had to pick something." The captain adds a little shrug to punctuate the end of his sentence that makes him look so blase it's almost comical.

The fondness that surges through Eugene's chest makes him almost want to laugh again. "Snafu," he says, "You are ridiculous."

Shelton's head snaps up, and it's interesting to note that he's gone all wide-eyed again. Which is how Eugene realizes he's slipped up and referred to the Captain by his crew nickname aloud for the first time.

Snafu studies Eugene quietly for a minute, as if he's trying to gauge what's changed, and then says in that damned laissez-faire drawl of his, "Can't go getting attached to things. It's dangerous. You name something, it'll only hurt more when it's gone." He stares at Eugene like it's an accusation.

Shelton stops avoiding him after their public fight. Even the crew members warm up to Eugene a little bit. Eugene starts tracking Snafu down, first pointing out a spelling error on a map, and then fixing it under the Captain's supervision rather than doing so unasked. Shelton, in turn, starts relying on Eugene for checking his memory. The Captain is planning a trip to asia, by way of south america, and he is very eager to discover Eugene has sailed the length of the Americas a few times when he was younger and his father in the Navy as a doctor. Eugene has a natural talent for observing coastlines and an even more natural talent for memory.

And Eugene starts to admit that he might be the one getting attached on the day Eugene wakes to find he's drifted across the bed in his sleep, with his arm wrapped snug around Snafu's waist and his face buried in Snafu's curls.

And as he comes out of his pleasant dream, he forgets he isn't home.

That morning happens when they're two days out from Mobile. And it also happens on the only day the quartermaster barges through the unlocked cabin door to wake the captain.

Snafu sits bolt upright immediately.

"British Navy ship sighted, Captain," Burgie says formally, trying deliberately to not look at Eugene.

"Tonnage?"

"120 gunner, Captain," Burgie says, which is answer enough.

"Shit," Snafu curses, "Slow us down, give us time."

"Aye," Burgie disappears and the door shuts, but his voice carries and they can hear him barking orders at the crew.

"Eugene…" Snafu says, his voice strangely tight.

It takes a second before he realizes, but Eugene quickly releases his grip around the Captain's waist. Snafu immediately springs to action, putting a shirt on for the first time since Eugene met him, and covering every square inch of his body with belts and weapons. He grabs a goofy green bucket hat off a hook on the wall and crams the hat over the soft curls that Eugene had been admiring only minutes before. The strange hat shadows Snafu's face, making his eyes big and luminous. Snafu notices him looking and smirks, "Lucky hat." The smile is wide but it doesn't meet his eyes. It makes Eugene wonder about the dark irregular stains patterning the hat's brim.

"Stay here," Shelton orders, pointing directly at Eugene before he slams the door shut.

Eugene crawls out of bed and throws on the nearest shirt. "Here" is a very relative term, he thinks, as he picks through Snafu's leftover weapons to find ones he can recognize and use. Technically, this entire ship could be considered "here". Especially if one is judging based on the typical nautical longitude and latitude positioning.

When Eugene carefully sneaks out of the Captain's cabin no one notices. The deck is organized chaos. Every single soul aboard is running around like chickens with their heads cut off. And in the midst of it all Eugene sees Snafu at the wheel, standing calm and collected. The pirate captain's entire focus is on the white spec of sails in the distance.

Eugene lurches over to the side of the Boat. The deck seems to be jumping underfoot more than usual, and when Eugene glances over the rail at the water he realizes they're moving at a speed he wouldn't have thought physically possible.

The Boat is practically flying. The pirates have wind advantage over the ship they're going up against.

Of all the preparations for the battle they are speeding towards at such a steady clip, the most commotion is happening at the back of the ship. When Eugene goes to check it out, he is suddenly shoved into an empty place at the rope.

"Grab and pull," one of the sailors orders, "Steady."

Eugene does as instructed. He gets told to do a number of other tasks afterwards, and he hopes desperately he got them right. What a time for the crew to finally decide to educate him.

For some reason the sailors seem to be lowering a complicated rig off the back of the Boat. Tied between the rig is a medium sized skiff, of a kind Eugene has never seen before. The skiff can carry maybe twenty five people max, and it seems odd to mobilize it for a fight against a massive warship holding at least five hundred men.

But then again, the stories about Captain Snafu always did say he was insane.

When the order comes for the crew to man the cannons, Eugene finds himself alone once more. He makes his way back to the main deck and then ascends the stairs to stand by Snafu's side. Snafu spares him a brief glance, and then ignores him. He's got his elegant long pipe perched between his lips and both hands on the wheel. And he looks as relaxed and carefree as Eugene has ever seen him.

Unexpectedly, it's Snafu who breaks the tense silence between them.

"That's a known press gang ship. If they board us, they'll get half our crew for desertion from the Royal Navy no matter what their current nationality is," Snafu says, "Penalty for that's worse than death."

"Desertion?" Eugene asks.

"After impressment, a navy sailor's got two choices: to stay and take the fifty percent chance he dies of scurvy… or run and accept the one hundred percent chance of hanging for desertion," Snafu's smirk suddenly turns feral, "But only if they catch him."

"And you?" Eugene asks, "Did you desert?"

"Do I sound British?" Snafu puts on his heaviest Cajun accent, "It was the Louisiana navy for me. Volunteered."

"Then you're safe. Why instigate a fight against a warship three times your manpower? Why not just hand the deserters over to the Royal Navy?" Eugene asks.

Snafu stares at him like he's seeing Eugene for the first time, and it makes Eugene's skin crawl.

"Were you born in Britain?" Snafu asks him.

"Yes…"

"Then they'd take you too..."

"But I've never deserted the Royal Navy…"

"Don't matter," Snafu shakes his head.

"My father and I are naturalized Amercian Citizens…."

"Don't matter," Snafu repeats.

"They can't do that," Eugene protests.

"You see anyone out here 'sides me who is going to stop them?" Snafu gestures beyond the ship rail, into the wide open ocean.

A chill runs down Eugene's spine. "I'd take it to the courts. As soon as we landed in the nearest port. Surely the law would recognize my rights."

"Fifty percent chance of scurvy on every voyage, Boot," Snafu says, "You'd probably be dead before you even made it to your first port."

Eugene's heart is racing. He feels trapped and he's not even in this hypothetical situation yet. He gives the white sails of the warship a second look. The recognizable, beautiful snap of the British flag blowing in the wind is a bit dulled to his senses now.

And a second flag is being jerkingly hoisted underneath.

Snafu snaps open his telescope and puts it to his eye. Eugene can't make out the signia on the second, smaller flag except that it's red.

"What's on it?" Eugene demands.

Snafu wordlessly passes the telescope over. Eugene expertly focuses it on the flags and waits for the wind to blow the red one straight.

It's blank.

"I won't let them take anyone," Snaf promises quietly as he closes the telescope and slips it into his coat. He refuses to look at Eugene, instead maintaining his determined blank stare at the opposing ship's flags.

Eugene tightens the belt of his borrowed sword. He pulls the pistol out, loads it, and returns it to the holster.

Snafu watches him as he does this. The captain's face is devoid of emotion. When Eugene finishes, their eyes meet, and Snafu nods, once.

Eugene takes that as permission to remain on deck.

They are approaching the British warship at an alarming speed. The captain might be calm, but Eugene's heart is unsteady as the sides of the two ships narrowly miss colliding into each other.

All worries aside, Snafu's steady hand guides them in. And the pirate ship slides in neatly alongside the warship. And then all calm is destroyed.

The last thing Eugene remembers in the minute of smooth sailing before the battle starts is the look of grim determination on Snafu's face and wild fear around his eyes.

The pirates let loose their cannons first, before the royal navy ship can react. Snafu's cannonshot does more damage - if only because his crew were better able to predict the opportune moment to fire.

By the time the 120 guns on the warship respond in kind, Snafu's ship is already halfway gone, sailed straight past like a ghost.

"NOW!" Snafu yells over the din.

A volley of heavily weapon laden pirates, at least half of Snafu's sailors, swing from their ship to board the other. Snafu produces a rope from out of nowhere, hands another to Eugene, gives him a challenging look, and then follows his crew.

Eugene doesn't have much time to make a decision. Another few minutes and the pirate ship will be beyond the reach of boarding the warship. As it is, Eugene still times his jump wrong and he misses the top deck, instead landing somewhere around the second.

He hits the side of the wooden planks painfully hard. Snafu is long gone already, probably in the middle of the battle on deck judging from the noise above Eugene's head. Eugene takes a minute to cling to the decorative wood siding on the ship, and hangs over the water desperately. All the fancy lessons in military history and swordplay throughout Eugene's childhood seem too theoretical to be of any use in this situation.

One deep breath, two.

He scrabbles to take hold of the nearest porthole and starts climbing. When he swings over the deck rail and draws his sword, the battle is already a mess.

Instinct and the years of formal military training kick in, and Eugene finds himself fighting for his life. The sword he picked is light, and quick, and Eugene always was the best in his class at the academy.

But it's one thing to spar with peers.

It's another to be facing down men wearing a uniform that Eugene was drilled to respect. He fights defensively, warding off blows instead of dealing them, and incapacitating soldiers where he can. Carefully placed cuts to the extremities, or in one case knocking a particularly tenacious fighter out cold.

Eugene hesitates once, against a cabin boy not much younger than himself, and he is nearly killed for it. Snafu saves Eugene's life. Appears out of nowhere and cuts down the man behind Eugene who had been about to gut him while Eugene was distracted. Eugene hadn't even noticed because he was too busy staring in shock at the child - so young and already fighting against pirates.

Snafu kills the boy too. The cut is clean, expertly done and relatively painless compared to the hacking and slashing going on around them. It still nearly makes Eugene sick. He falls back against the wall of the deck cabin and sags for a brief minute.

Snafu's eyes are condemning. He turns his back on Eugene and immediately reenters the fray.

Eugene looks down at the man who almost killed him, and the boy who had been about to try before Snafu stopped him too.

Eugene knows what the solid red flag under the Union Jack means. He knows these men on the warship are fighting with no quarter given. They mean to kill every pirate in Snafu's crew. No surrender possible.

And, if Snafu is correct, it'd be impressment for Eugene until he got a message to his father. At best.

At worst, they'd kill him alongside all the other pirates, with no one to recognize him or his father's status, and he'd end up with a nameless watery grave.

No mercy for pirates and pirate associates.

After that Eugene stops paying attention to who he kills and who he doesn't. He fights his way to Snafu's side and sticks there, like a stubborn burr.

Fighting alongside Snafu comes second nature to him. The connection is immediate and somehow - Eugene isn't sure how - they anticipate each other's moves wordlessly. Snafu's swordplay is militaristic: clean, and crisp, and regimented. It's also absolutely, unrelentingly ruthless.

Gradually Eugene notices Snafu is maneuvering them in a certain direction. And when he looks up and sees the warship's Captain standing above them yelling orders, Eugene knows why. The pirate captain is going to engage the naval commander in a duel.

Eugene briefly assesses the way the naval commander holds his sword, his stance, and he decides Snafu will not be fighting this man. All the ruthlessness in the world cannot make up for the finesse of a gentleman's sword training. His mind made up, Eugene pushes his way through the crowd, scales the balcony, and lands in front of the commander.

He hears Snafu yell his name, but he ignores it. He has one goal in mind.

The commander judges Eugene with a sneer, but Eugene settles into his firmest fighting stance, and waits, putting on as much a regal air as he can muster. The two men circle each other.

"Captain Shelton," the commander addresses Eugene with the wrong name, "Given the stories, I expected you to be shorter."

Eugene says nothing. He waits.

The commander attacks first, hasty, and in return Eugene draws the first blood.

It's a subtle battle. It always is, when two opponents are closely matched in skill and training.

Fed up with the endless battle, Eugene fakes a slip up and gets his arm sliced from shoulder to elbow, but flips his swordhand, steps into an attack, and primly ends the commander's life.

When he withdraws his sword and cleans it on the dead man's jacket, Eugene is somewhat surprised at how little emotion he feels in the act.

"Sledge!" a hand grabs his arm and pulls him backwards. Snafu has taken off his shirt and starts quickly wrapping it around Eugene's gaping wound.

"Snafu!" Bergie appears out of the chaos.

Snafu switches gears immediately, grabbing Burgie's hand and yanking him up onto the relatively quiet wheel deck with them.

"Hamm is dead," Burgie says, "He never made it to the brig."

Snafu eyes widen. Eugene thought he had seen Shelton scared before, but now the man is truly terrified. He glances at Eugene, stares at him blankly for a moment then says, "I'll get it done." Snafu tosses something to Burgie and Burgie tosses him a bundle in return. Snafu starts down the deck stairs, but glances back one final time at Burgie, "Make sure the crew get off okay." and flicks his eyes over to Eugene meaningfully.

Then he drops down the open hatch into the depths of the ship.

"Eugene…" Burgie breaks his concentration, "Help me get the crew organized."

Seeing Snafu scared scares the shit out of Eugene.

"No," Eugene says calmly, "Don't think I will," and leaps down to follow his captain.

He finds Snaf at the very bottom of the brig. The man is clicking a mysterious package into place, stringing up several others. The captain spends a few minutes finishing his task, and then moves over to a huddled mass in the darkest corner of the ship. It takes Eugene a second glance to realize the shadow is a person.

"Hey," Snafu calls over to the corner, "Kid." He crouches down a few feet in front of the hidden man - a royal navy sailor maybe a few years older than the pirate - and stares at him unblinkingly. Snafu's posture is not exactly intimidating, but it isn't kind either. The sailor shrinks back, despite being physically bigger and undoubtedly stronger.

Snafu looks almost delicate in comparison, so slight and lean in muscle. An illusion of innocence only broken by the blood covering his clothes and his cache of heavily used weapons. Underneath Snafu's cheekbone there is a streak of what Eugene desperately hopes is dirt. And clutched in his hand is a cruel looking knife Snafu had been using to cut and tie strings. It too is covered in dried blood.

The man on the ground looks terrified.

"Do you want a better life, Boot?" Snafu asks coldly, without emotion.

The man takes a few breaths to consider, and then nods.

Snafu stands, takes a step back but maintains eye contact. "Then get up," he orders, harsh, "and follow me."

And with that he turns around.

And sees Eugene.

Immediately his face goes from impassive to surprised. And then fury. He storms over, grabs Eugene's wrist. Shakes him. "What the hell are you doing here?" he demands, "I told you to get off this ship."

"No, you told Burgie to get the crew off the ship," Eugene counters.

"That includes you!" Snafu snarls.

"No, it doesn't," Eugene says simply, "and you know it."

"Fuck, we don't have time for this," Snafu runs a hand through his hair and glances at the strange device he set up earlier. He gives Eugene one last glare and then starts up the ladder to the deck, "C'mon," he pauses and turns back one more time, "both of you!"

Slightly cowed, Eugene and the nameless sailor follow the captain. They pass through each level of deck and go completely unnoticed. No one questions sailors passively coming up from below, and neither Snafu nor Eugene stand out as pirates. The royal navy is fairly distracted, anyway. Every man is working to move the dead and hastily fix the damage to the ship.

The top deck is a graveyard.

A single naval officer barking orders spares them no second glance.

Snafu shoves the nameless sailor forward toward the rail and grabs Eugene's arm. "Into the water. Now!"

The sailor follows orders and he's overboard in seconds.

Eugene and Snafu are still running across the deck when the explosion goes off. Eugene gets one leg up on the rail before the blast hits him. Somehow in the madness Snafu grabs Eugene's hand. It doesn't help.

They lose contact with each other before they even hit the water. Snafu's hand goes slack and slips out of Eugene's grasp.

Eugene tries to scream the captain's name but he can't because his mouth is full of water. He kicks his way to the surface, grateful to the careful swimming instruction his mother gave him during the long hot summer days at the dike.

When he breaks free and takes his first breath, his immediate reaction is to look for a familiar hat. At first he thinks a black cloud of night stole the afternoon away, until he realizes it's smoke. Behind him, far above his head, every deck of the warship is spewing flames. The heat is intense, nearly burning his exposes face and neck. But even more unbearable are the screams.

He slips back under the water to drown out the noise. And remembers the captain.

The next time he breaks the surface he screams Snafu's name, his voice barely discernible even to his own ears.

No answer.

He didn't expect one. How many sailors of Snafu's harsh upbringing know how to swim? The probability is slim. Immediately Eugene dives back down. Debris falling off the ship and getting tossed around in the waves make it nearly impossible to see.

He surfaces and dives again, over and over.

It's the bucket hat that catches Eugene's eye. The broad brim is flapped up, revealing Snafu's unconscious face, oddly peaceful amongst the fire and raining detritus. A darker stream of water circles around the back of his head as he sinks.

Without hesitation Eugene grabs Snafu underneath his arms and hauls him upward.

This time when they break the surface there are other bodies in the water, some floating silently, some yelling. One man tries to grab hold of Eugene's back in his drowning panic. Eugene loses Snafu briefly, but he pulls out his knife and cuts himself free.

Eugene drags Snafu back to the surface, and starts treading water. He knows his endurance won't sustain them both for long. He avoids the floating broken mast of the ruined ship, knowing the ropes will entangle them and pull them down to the depths when it finally sinks. However, a chunk of deck railing bobs nearby. And Eugene quickly heaves Snafu's surprisingly heavy limp body across it.

Eugene grabs hold of an edge and starts trying to kick them away from the ship, to avoid the suction.

The warship is sinking steadily. Soon the screams will stop entirely. The relief Eugene feels at that thought is guilty. He can't continue to think on it. So he focuses on waking Snafu instead.

The man is still and cold. Enough so that Eugene knows he should assume the worst. Resuscitation is probably pointless.

He tries anyway.

Rolling Snafu on his side atop the decking is difficult while Eugene himself is still in the water, but he manages. He holds the planks as steady as he can while kicking to keep himself afloat and sweeps his fingers around Snafu's mouth to check if he swallowed any debris. Water trickles out but thankfully nothing else. Eugene squeezes Snafu's nose shut, seals his own lips to the captain's, and breathes. He checks Snafu's pulse, and almost cries in relief when it's there - faint, but there.

Another three breaths against Snafu's lips and the man spasms.

Vomit spews from his mouth onto Eugene's hands and face, and after it a deluge of water. Snafu's eyes open wide. He coughs and rolls over onto his stomach.

"Gene?" the captain's voice is hoarse. His eyes stay out of focus until they settle on one detail, "Your arm. It's bleeding again." He starts to wiggle, reaching out like he wants to fix it somehow. Eugene grabs his hand and holds him still.

"Don't worry about it, Snaf," Eugene orders.

Snafu coughs again and his eyes roll back into his head. He can still hold his neck up, and his relative lucidity is comforting, but Eugene can't forget about the blood mixing with the water around him when Eugene first found Snafu drowning. He's injured somewhere, and Eugene desperately hopes it wasn't the man's head.

He's still shocked the hat stayed on.

Snafu opens his eyes again and tips his head back to look at the burning hulk of the warship. The screams are quiet now. The only noise comes from those floating in the water - mostly wordless yells, or cries for help. Snafu continues in the same direction, looking up into the smokey sky above them. Which is when Eugene finally notices the strap attached to the bucket hat and tied securely underneath Snafu's pointy chin.

Eugene almost laughs. "Lucky hat, indeed," Eugene mumbles.

Snafu turns his face back to Eugene and coughs before repeating, "Gene?". He still sounds desperate.

"You're okay," Eugene tells him, "You're okay."

Snafu still looks disoriented and lost, but he nods. His eyelids close and his head droops.

"Snafu!" Eugene says sharply.

No answer.

"Damn it you dirty old pirate," he cups the side of Snafu's neck, "You can't die on me now." When there is no answer, Eugene kicks himself forward out of the water and briefly knocks their lips together. Snafu's eyes snap open like he's a goddamn frog become a prince in a fairytale.

Eugene sighs in relief.

"'m younger than you," Snafu slurs, "and cleaner."

"I know…" Eugene says, leaning his forehead gently against Snafu's, "I know."

Snafu doesn't close his eyes again. His stare is almost unnerving, in how unwavering it is.

They're eventually picked up by the small skiff, which had been floating nearby out of cannon range. When Eugene is pulled aboard after Snafu, he sees the skiff is half full of ammo crates and cannonballs. All with the royal navy stamp. The other half holds nearly every pirate who boarded the warship in the initial attack. Hamm is among the notable missing. There are a few unfamiliar faces, including the nameless sailor Snafu talked out of the hold.

"Ammunition?" Eugene asks, incredulous, "Ammunition is why we attacked that ship?"

Burgie nods curtly, brushing Eugene's concerns aside. The quartermaster's focus is on the captain. He quickly and expertly tends to the wound on Snafu's head.

"He nearly drowned?" Burgie asks Eugene.

"Yes," Eugene admits, at a loss for what to do next other than wait.

"Get the wet clothes off him," Bergie tosses a blanket at Eugene, "Get him warm. We'll reach the ship soon."

Eugene uses his knife to cut and then peel Snafu's clothes off him. Halfway through this process the captain wakes up and starts shivering. Eugene hastily gets his pants off him and throws the blanket around his naked body. He guides Snaf into his lap and wraps his arms around the man's shaking bones.

Gradually the shaking stops and Snafu presses his face into Eugene's wet chest.

They sit together for the entire time it takes the skiff to reach the pirate ship. The crew who remained behind to sail the pirate ship during the battle hoist the skiff up the rig till they're level with the deck.

Both Eugene and Burgie carry the Captain into his cabin. They lay him on his bed and Eugene layers blanket after blanket on top of him. Every few minutes another crew member appears at the door with an extra blanket to offer.

Eventually Burgie has to turn the generous offers away for fear of losing Snafu underneath all that cloth. The quartermaster leaves as well, closing the door silently behind him.

And suddenly Eugene is alone with a very quiet, possibly asleep, shallowly breathing pirate captain.

Eugene is prepared to sit by Snafu's bedside the entire night. He anxiously runs his hands over his face, and then folds his arms on the bedspread to form a pillow. His eyes close involuntarily, they are tired to the point of pain and still stinging from all the smoke.

At some point Eugene finally falls asleep.

He doesn't know for how long, but eventually the bed shifts under his head and he realizes Snaf is awake. It's too much energy to lift his head, so Eugene merely peaks out from above his folded arms.

"Hiya," Snafu says weakly with a goofy grin.

Eugene tries to prevent the exasperated smile that spreads across his face but he doesn't do a very good job of it.

"I'm Merriel Shelton," Snafu continues, his voice growing stronger as he talks, "My flag's flying at half mast right now, but for you I bet I could get it up to full."

Eugene lifts his head a tiny bit so he can talk without being muffled. "I can leave…" he threatens teasingly.

"Don't," Snafu's eyes go serious and he takes Eugene's hand, "I'm sorry. Please. Stay."

Eugene threads their fingers together and rests his head on both their hands.

Snafu's face glows. The color is returning to his cheeks.

"That blow to your head must've been serious," Eugene says with mock concern, "If you can't remember that we've already been introduced."

Snafu squeezes Eugene's hand. "Don't matter, as long as I remember this moment," Snafu says, as flippant and casually sensual as ever.

Eugene huffs, amused. He quietly observes Snafu for a moment, looking for any sign. Not seeing one, he takes a deep breath.

"Do you remember I kissed you?" Eugene asks in a rush. He clings to the pirate captain's hand like a lifeline.

"Don't care about memory loss as long as I remember that moment too," Snafu adds. He gives a single nod.

They stare at each other for a long while. If Shelton's heart is beating even half as hard as Eugene's, the sound must be commanding most of Shelton's attention too. Eugene is aware of nothing but his own breathing, Snafu's cold firm grip, and the captain's eyes. He doesn't know what they might've just started, by finally admitting to this thing between them out loud, but Eugene wants to find out.

A knock on the cabin door breaks the spell.

"Come in," Snafu calls.

Burgie pokes his head in, "Glad you're awake, Captain." The quartermaster then turns to Eugene, "Any signs of brain damage?"

Eugene shakes his head. Snafu meanwhile bristles. "You could ask me."

"Begging your pardon, Captain," Burgie acquiesces without sounding genuine at all, "We'll be in Mobile by tomorrow evening. The crew has been instructed to take our usual berth."

Snafu looks conflicted but he nods, "Good. Thank you."

Once the door closes behind Burgie silence settles over the two of them again.

"Guess it's our last night together, Sledge," Snafu says with a smirk.

His words send a sinking, horrible ache deep through Eugene's gut.

Eugene stands. He turns around, drags his blood stained shirt out of his pants and starts unbuttoning it. "You need to learn how to swim," Eugene orders Snafu. He strips the wet, ruined shirt off, tosses it onto the floor, and unbuckles his belt. His tattered pants fall to the floor as well, leaving him standing in front of the bed, facing Snafu, in nothing but his drawers.

Snafu blatantly refuses to take his eyes off Eugene's crotch, "You know, if you ever decide to take up piracy, you won't be able to wear that fancy underwear no more. Too expensive to ruin 'em every time a navy ship gets uppity."

"Snafu…" Eugene says, heavily laden with implications of 'be serious'.

Snafu sighs, casting his eyes to the ceiling. He hoists himself into a sitting position and leans over to fish around on the table nearby. "No point in learning to swim," he says as he fills his tobacco pipe, "If the sea takes you, it takes you."

"No," Eugene leans over, splays his hand flat against Snafu's chest, and shoves him down onto the bed, hard, "That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard you say."

"I'm not learning to swim, Sledge."

"Yes. You are," Eugene says regally, still holding him down, "I'm going to teach you how to swim, even if it's the last thing I do."

"Why?" Snafu asks, eyes half closed, suspicious. His tobacco is dropped on the blanket next to him, completely forgotten.

A beat or two of anxious silence.

And then, instead of an answer, Eugene bends down and simply kisses him.

The kiss becomes heated quickly. Eugene's fingers tangle in Snafu's curls, getting to feel firsthand how soft they are. He is utterly caught up. Until a minute into it, he realizes what he is doing and breaks away abruptly. Eugene sits back on the bed.

"Gene…" Snafu groans. He follows Eugene's retreat, putting his hands around Eugene's waist and pulling him closer, so their chests are flush against each other.

And damned if Eugene's name in Shelton's mouth don't make him feel weak.

Snafu is running a hand up and down Eugene's back. There's a small smile on his face as he looks up into Eugene's eyes with a kind of emotion Eugene's never seen before.

"Gene." he repeats, more self-assured this time.

The self assurance and cockiness is what throws a cold bucket of water over Eugene. He licks his lips, tries not to think…but... "Guess you're finally getting what you want," he quips.

Snafu jerks back, insulted. "What is it you think I want?" the pirate's eyes are alert again.

"Me, in your bed. With you. Falling for all your," Eugene waves his hand in the air, "seductive tomfoolery." He shoves Snaf hard again, this time to push him away. And Snafu falls flat on his back, bouncing on the pillows.

Snafu holds his hands out limply, not touching Eugene, and watches him silently. With those big eyes that Eugene is only beginning to be able to read.

On their last night together.

The pirate is no longer putting any effort into seduction, not giving Eugene some cheesy line or winking at him. He is simply looking at him. But in a way Eugene doesn't recognize. It's an honest look, to say the least.

"Merriel," Eugene sighs, almost giving in.

Snafu's smile lights up his entire face. He lifts his chin haughtily. It's like he's come to life again, with flushed cheeks and sparkling eyes, and every bit of his old teasing self returned.

"I definitely want that," Snafu says. He waits, patiently.

And Eugene comes to him. This time when he pushes Snafu down into the pillows, it's gentle, with a smooth full body grind amidst their kiss. Snafu catches Eugene's hips between his hands and pulls him in encouragingly.

No words need to be said, after that.

Eugene wakes late the next morning, stark naked and alone. Snafu probably snuck out around dawn for ship duties of some form or another, as the captain usually does. This time, though, there is a glass of water and breakfast plate waiting for Eugene on the nightstand next to him. Sitting temptingly to the side of the plate is a pristine fresh apple. Eugene can't imagine how Snafu procured one. Them being on a ship that's been at sea for six months and all. He grins, and stretches, and spreads across the entire bed to fall back asleep.

He sleeps until the heat becomes unbearable and sticky. Snafu still hasn't shown his face. But outside the cabin door Eugene can hear laughter, and the occasional shout of lively discussion. He drags on the cleanest clothes he can find - more of Shelton's of course, and steps outside.

And there, in the middle of the deck, seated at a makeshift table with an elegant quill poised and a broad grin on his face, is the pirate captain himself, wearing a truly ridiculous feathered hat. And little else.

The entire crew is gathered around their captain, sitting on various ship parts and ropes that were never meant to be chairs.

Shelton is talking to the quartermaster who stands just off to the side, and doesn't notice Eugene at first. Until Eugene makes his way forward, drawing the attention of the crew as he passes.

Shelton's eyes turn toward Eugene then. And simultaneously his grin turns devilish. His gaze travels down the ruffled dress shirt Eugene stole from the captain's own sea chest. "Nice of you to join us."

Eugene shifts uncomfortably, well aware of the crew measuring his every move. "What's this about?" he asks.

Still grinning, Snafu pushes the scroll he's been writing on across the table towards Eugene.

Eugene steps forward, thumbs the parchment closer, and reads it over.

Eugene closes his eyes, and shakes his head. "Snaf, I can't." He slides the paper away.

Burgie's eyebrows go up at the very familiar nickname.

Snafu slides the paper back.

"It's a communal decision. You're one of us now," Snafu drawls, "A pirate."

"That my reward for fucking you?" Eugene challenges.

"Nah, that's it's own reward," Snafu's smile never falters.

Not a single crew member even so much as blinks an eye over Eugene's public declaration.

Eugene still hesitates, staring at the blank space next to his name.

"You're not signing in blood," Snafu drawls, "It ain't for life, Sledgehammer."

Eugene's eyes snap up to meet Snaf's. The fondness he sees there is as deep and unwavering as every other part of Snafu's headstrong personality. Eugene knows how uncompromising Snafu's loyalty can be when the man chooses to give it. Eugene is beginning to realize the fearless Captain Shelton might have a weakness after all, and it might be him.

Burgie chuckles at the new nickname, "Sledgehammer. I like that."

Bill groans and makes a snide comment.

Eugene ignores it. He ignores everyone. The decision may be communal but the only opinion he cares about in this moment is the one from the man looking straight at him with that wonderfully familiar gleam in his eye and devil grin.

Eugene calmly leans his hand against the table and scrawls his name at the bottom of the ledger.

The crew lets out a rousing cheer, with a lot of laughter, and Eugene can feel his face burn red. He didn't expect quite such a reaction. He tries to play it off casual, but when he turns back to Snafu and slides the contract over to his captain, Eugene smiles helplessly. It's a giant surge of thrill that could probably become addictive if he's not careful.

Snafu simply nods at him in acknowledgement.

"Hey Sledgehammer," Bill interrupts, "Come help me with this rope."

Eugene nods, and joins the crew at their work, and as easy as that something in the ship's dynamic shifts. And suddenly Eugene is included in the pirates' "us against the world" circle.

Eugene spends his last day aboard the Boat working. He is only pulled away from his duties as the sun is setting when Snafu requests his help drafting a new map. At first Eugene thinks it's merely a trick to get him alone again. But then he enters the captain's cabin and sees the disarray there. It's even worse than before, scrolls pulled out and paper everywhere. Snafu keeps Eugene up half the night checking and double checking measurements. He picks Eugene's brain for every scrap of detail Eugene can remember about the Eastern coast of South America.

And Eugene tries to pretend seeing all this careful planning and research doesn't hurt when he knows he is not going with them. He tries to pretend he doesn't achingly want to go with them.

After Snafu asks him to redraw Cape Horn for the third time, Eugene decides he's had all he can take. Instead of following orders, he grabs Snafu by his hips, drags him into his lap, and kisses him. And tries to pour all of that unspoken wishful thinking, or daydreaming, or longing, or what-have-you, into it. If this is the last time he gets to wrap his arms around Snafu, he is not going to waste the opportunity with mapmaking.

Snafu, unfortunately, has other ideas. He breaks the kiss and tilts his head up out of reach. "And which channel was it you said was the widest and best for a ship of our size?" He asks. His mind is clearly elsewhere.

Eugene groans. He stands. Snafu slides off his lap with a small frown of disappointment. Eugene throws himself backwards onto the bed, covering his eyes with his arm to block out the flickering candlelight. "I already told you the name a thousand times. And I wrote it down. Both in your journal, and on the map that you made me redraw twice."

Snafu starts flipping through his journal to check. Eugene props himself up on his elbows to watch.

"Gotta squeeze all that knowledge out of you before you're gone Sledgehammer," Snafu says.

"At the moment I'd rather you squeeze me for other reasons…" Eugene mutters.

"I found the name," Snafu announces, his finger poised on his book, "but the spelling is different than the one on the map. Which is correct?"

"The map," Eugene says tiredly, "I checked that one more."

Snafu starts blotting out the name in the book and rewrites it.

"Merriell," Eugene says.

The pirate captain looks up, eyes innocent and wide.

"If you don't get over here and fuck me in our last hours together instead of reiterating on information you know I already recorded for you...I'm never speaking to you again," Eugene threatens, trying to keep his manner teasing but also hopefully dead serious enough that Snafu drops his preocupations and comes to bed.

"Aint ever gonna speak to me again either way," Snafu smiles and shrugs, but there is a look of vulnerability in his expression that makes Eugene ache further.

"Don't do this," Eugene says.

"Do what?"

"Act like I don't matter to you. Like I'm never gonna see you again."

Snafu laughs. He saunters over to the bed, climbs across Eugene to hover over him, and holds Eugene's gaze like it's a promise.

"You're a governor's son. I'm a pirate. Ain't ever going to live in the same world," Snafu says.

And Eugene can't argue against the truth.

They lie there together, close but not touching, neither one of them willing to make the first move. Eugene doesn't know what to say.

So he turns away. He shifts on the bed, turning his back to his captain, and closes his eyes. If he can't do anything else, he desperately wants to try and sleep. His heart is beating fast and irregular in his chest, though. And every nerve in his body refuses to calm down.

Snafu doesn't touch him, still doesn't say anything either. The bed lifts as he steps away to his desk.

The captain finishes writing in his log book. Eugene hears him shuffling papers around for a bit, before Snafu douses the lights one by one, and then comes back to bed. He very carefully lies down next to Eugene, trying not to jostle him or wake him up. Eugene feels a hand snake around his waist, and Snafu's chest press against his back.

Snafu kisses the nape of Eugene's neck.

"You'll go home," he whispers into Eugene's ear, "and forget about me. And be better off for it. I ain't made for a normal life, like you."

He falls asleep against Eugene's back. Snafu's gentle breaths tickle Eugene's neck and his pointy chin digs uncomfortably into the meat of Eugene's shoulder.

Eugene doesn't sleep a wink.

Sometime in the night the ship docks in port. Snafu sleeps peacefully. Eugene hears the commotion but decides to stay in bed.

He doesn't move until dawn comes and he can feel Snafu wake up with the sun. Before the pirate can get out of bed, Eugene rolls over and looks him straight in the eye. He grabs Snafu around the waist and shuffles closer until they're nose to nose.

Snafu smiles disarmingly and he looks a little nervous, but he doesn't pull away. "You're home now," He tells Eugene, and jerks his head towards the window.

Eugene kisses him.

He kisses Snafu every chance he gets. In bed, out of bed, in between putting clothes on, after organizing the mess of papers from last night, before making plans to go into port - whenever there is a brief opening Eugene drags Snafu close, gets his hands in his curls, and presses their lips together desperately.

Every time they break apart, Snafu's smile grows wider and more confident.

And every time Eugene doesn't want to let go.

He briefly wonders how long he can convince his father to keep Captain Shelton in port for "scurvy treatment". But then he rejects that idea because he knows how much the delay would disappoint Snafu's next plans.

Which only leaves one option - Eugene has to find a way to go with them.

He keeps this new idea to himself. They still have to meet his father after all. Snafu needs to get a fake scurvy checkup, and the pirate deserves to collect the substantial reward the governor offered for Eugene's safe return. So he follows along with Snafu's plans to go into town.

Before they leave the ship, Eugene pauses on the gangplank, a sailor's bag full of gifted old clothes swung over his shoulder to remember the crew by. He turns back, to admire the ship. The Boat is beautiful, so early in the morning, the sails already providing roost to dozens of honking gulls.

Eugene has a soft spot in his heart for the annoying birds, as loud as they are. Snafu likes to brag he uses the gulls for target practice, but Eugene has never seen him actually hit one.

"Santa Alma," Snafu says, already farther down on the gangplank but waiting patiently for Eugene to catch up. The pirate is looking at his ship with pride.

"Saint what?" Eugene asks.

"Alma. That's the real name of my ship, Sledgehammer," Snafu explains with the most shit eating grin Eugene has ever seen, "'Boat's easier to say, though. So don't go spreading it around."

Snafu has that look about him - when he's smiling and happy and fully alive, exuding energy - that's irresistible.

Eugene laughs. He strides down the last few steps of the gangplank, snatches Snafu's feathered monstrosity off his head (it might've been a gull at one point), and uses the giant hat to hide their faces when he pulls Snafu into a final lingering kiss.

He's decided. This isn't him coming home, this is only a stop in a port to let his father know he is alive and well. He doesn't care about any of his old, petty responsibilities anymore. His old concerns seem shallow in the wake of everything he has been through.

He tightens his hold around Snafu's waist.

He's not going to let go. He will be leaving with Snafu. His family will understand.

Some part of this thought process must come across in their kiss, because Snafu gently pushes him away and looks up into Eugene's face curiously.

Which conveniently is also when his father's soldiers decide to converge on them both.

AND THEN PERSIPNEI’S SECOND BIT STARTS.....

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael in the Mainstream - Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest

The sequels to Curse of the Black Pearl are, in a word… divisive. Some think they’re pretty good. Others think they’re pretty bad. Still others argue over which ones are good and which ones are bad, saying there’s a noticeable drop in quality after a certain point, while some such as Doug “The Nostalgia Critic” Walker go as far as to say all of the sequels suck and only the first is any good. And while I’m certainly willing to admit most of the sequels are bloated, messy, and if not bad at least not up to snuff, I will go with the popular consensus here: the second film is a damn good film.

Now, of course, it has some serious problems, problems that would eventually consume the franchise. This is where the abundance of slapstick set in, the major focus on Jack, and the bloat of numerous subplots. However, unlike later films (especially the fifth, which tried to juggle way too many subplots), I think this is less of a huge issue here. It definitely is a bit more goofy than the first film with a lot of physical comedy being a lot more overt and a lot more jokes being in the script, but I think it works generally speaking, particularly in regards to Jack. And speaking of Jack, while he definitely hogs the spotlight more than ever in this film, at this point he is still amusing and entertaining, and there is actually solid focus put on the old characters and the new ones. Characters like Norrington return and get enjoyable expansion to their character arcs, while new additions like Tia Dalma and Bill Turner make their mark on the franchise and earn their place in the series.

The one thing I can’t particularly excuse is the bloat, as this movie does have a lot going on, but at the same time it is FAR less than the sequels. Still, runtimes don’t lie, and this film is two and a half hours long and feels it. Some of this definitely has to do with some sequences that could have been easily trimmed down or cut out without effecting too much, such as the detour to the island of cannibals or some of the scenes in the middle of the movie. Hell, even if it is plot relevant the trip to Tortuga seems a bit tacked on. Still, these detours do lead to a lot enjoyable sequences, so even if they do drag the movie on a bit, am I really going to complain? How mad can I get at the cannibal sequence when it has the iconic image of Jack being chased by natives? Am I really gonna get mad at Tortuga when it gives me the sight of Norrington chugging rum he steals off people in a big pirate bar fight while Jack steals people’s hats during that same fight?

The other thing I dislike, though it is relatively minor, is the rather forced love triangle between Jack, Will, and Elizabeth. Despite what some fans made it seem like, this wasn’t really a huge part of the plot, and it certainly doesn’t overwhelm the story, but this film certainly does not do itself any favors by setting up such a contrived source of drama. Speaking of contrivance, this film really has a lot of characters conveniently wander right where they need to be to partake in the story, and it gets a bit corny after a while. Still, these things are dumb but they don’t overwhelmingly ruin the film in any meaningful way.

One of the things I think this movie does genuinely well is ease the series into more high fantasy aspects. While I am a bit sad they couldn’t stick to the simpler, low fantasy elements that made the first film so cool and unique, it’s hard for me to be mad when they craft such a rich, intriguing mythology. This movie introduces The Flying Dutchman and its undead crew; they were originally to be little more than ghosts, but it was decided by cooler, more intelligent heads that they should all be a bunch of horrendous aquatic abominations, which leads to some unique and grotesque designs. The fact the ship can also summon a kraken is nothing short of awesome, and the mythical beast is put to excellent use in this film

Of course, the very best thing about this film is easily Davy Jones, the grotesque and cruel captain of The Flying Dutchman. I mentioned in my review of the first film that he is easily the best villain of the franchise, and I stand by it due to three factors. The first is the writing; while it is definitely expanded upon to great effect in the third film, here is where the foundation is built for the ultimate tragedy of the character. Davy Jones is a broken man, a man driven by his own pain and bitterness. He lets the suffering that ruined his life consume him and in his anger he lashes out at the world, taking his anger out on others. The second is the fantastic motion capture. Even now in this day and age, Jones looks fantastic and even realistic to a degree. You can tell that the team who worked on him was proud of him, because they really showed off with bringing all of the difficult textures to life, from his slimy tentacles to his barnacle-encrusted coat. Jones is a character who looks and feels like he’s there, and he’s the sort of motion capture character I think others should aspire to. Of course, the third and biggest reason he’s amazing is Bill Nighy’s fantastic, hammy performance. The animation can only do so much to bring Jones to life; you need a fantastic actor to really seal the deal. Bill Nighy is that actor. He gives Jones a hammy Scottish accent, he swaggers about, he moves and twitches and gives the perfect inflections and mannerisms to make Jones a truly memorable antagonist.

While he’s overshadowed by Jones – and let’s be fair, who wouldn’t be – Lord Cutler Beckett definitely establishes himself as a cunning antagonist. He’s much less of a physical threat and in this film is more set up as a greater-scope villain, but since I imagine they wanted him to be established as a smug, condescending bastard you want to see get taken down, they definitely did their job well. He’s definitely better in the next film, but I think they do a decent job of establishing him.

This film also carries on a lot of the good qualities of its predecessor, namely the wonderful action scenes. Things are far more over-the-top and even silly this time, such as the iconic water wheel duel between Norrington and Will (contrary to what you might believe, Jack is not on top of the wheel; that image is one you may have picked up from Epic Movie), but I think generally speaking it works here. The score is, of course, fantastic, the sets are wonderful, the costuming is great, and the special effects are very good and hold up well. This is a very solid film that I think succeeds at it’s main goal despite its problems, and that goal is giving audiences more wacky adventures with Jack Sparrow.

This is certainly no perfect film, and it’s not on the same level as the first one, but I think this is a great film all the same, and it’s frankly a shame the sequels could just not keep the pace up. I think this is one of the rare times where a movie that is clearly and obviously setting up a lot for a sequel is still an enjoyable standalone film in its own right; it’s sort of like The Empire Strikes Back, just… well, not as good obviously. This is the last truly great Pirates film, and while I do have fondness for at least two of the sequels, neither are as good or memorable as this or the first.

If nothing else, this movie has some of my favorite stories about the development of the franchise. The first is Jack’s little “jar of dirt” song, which was unscripted and left in; you can see Orlando Bloom looking to the director, wondering if he’s going to cut the scene. The second is the ending; everyone thought Zoe Saldana would be walking down the stairs in Tia Dalma’s hut, but Saldana was never coming back and had almost quit acting due to her negative experiences on the first film. So when you see everyone looking on in shock as Geoffery Rush’s Barbossa descends those steps and takes a huge, cheerful bite out of that apple, that’s their genuine reactions.

And you know what? It really is a perfect ending right there. It still gets me to this day, it’s just so effortlessly cool. And I think that’s what makes this film truly great even with its baggage. It still finds ways to just so effortlessly be cool that you forget some of the dumber bits bogging it down, excuses that the later films just couldn’t muster up. Oh well, at least this made sure Barbossa was in those other films.

[joshnekuu]

I’ve still been thinking about Babylonia since finally starting it. I’d been putting it off because when the chapter game out in the game, I remember it triggered some pretty severe depression for me. Gilgamesh and Enkidu’s relationship has always been one that, for one reason or another, always really got to me emotionally? 

So far I’ve been really enjoying the anime though! I have a lot of feelings about it. So I’m just gonna talk about it a bit I guess. Warning for some spoilers, for people who haven’t played/read Babylonia already!

When the first anime came out, I remember some people commenting on butt shots, and I was worried that the anime was going to lean into the fanservicey aspect of FGO, so I was incredibly relieved to see that any sort of gratuitous booty shots or lingering on the more revealing parts of the girls’ ‘armor’ wasn’t included after the first episode. 

Kingu is. So good. My feral boy. I’ve always adored Kingu and the anime has really captured the aspects of his personality that I loved in the game. It’s so nice seeing life breathed into all these characters? I feel like the animation adds a certain element to everything that the game just can’t capture. That’s not to say the game can’t convey emotional moments or more serious tones, but I feel like the anime makes certain things more clear and unambiguous than the game does?

I really love how Gilgamesh has been portrayed so far. I love everything about him, I feel like it would be too much to go into every single detail I love cuz I’d be here all night, but the thing that I love the most is just that there seems to be a weight to his emotions that I don’t know if I felt when I was playing the game, outside of one part near the end. Like... the moments where he becomes quiet and serious in the cart after Mashu and Ritsuka ask him about his adventures, and he says he remembers everything, and it fucking... shows ‘Enkidu’ with a similar solemn expression, on their own, mirroring Gilgamesh’s expression and tone... Idk I just really loved how clear they make it that Gilgamesh is affected by what is going on, that even though he has returned from his journey and had his growth, he is still very much affected by what happened to Enkidu, even if he’s able to focus on other things and do his job and have a good laugh about things.

And when he came to confront ‘Enkidu’..... first off tysm anime for letting them interact so early on and having them actually fight. Gilgamesh talking so casually to Kingu, as if they’re Enkidu even though he knows it’s not them, and Kingu just instinctively responding because of Enkidu’s memories? And then catching himself and being like wait wtf? That shit hurted. And Gilgamesh’s serious, unchanging expression through the whole fight, and just standing there as the attack comes at him, not even trying to do anything......... this kills the man........ Like that one expression just conveys so much idk, maybe I’m just reading too deep into things, but I feel like the anime lets me feel the emotional weight and the tension and just Gilgamesh’s emotions in general more than I was able to in the game and it just makes me feel better about it in a way? Like... I feel like these things are being given the time and the weight that I had wanted them to that I didn’t feel in the game, and it just feels like I’m getting some sort of closure and assurance that the game didn’t quite give me.

AND THE FLASHBACK........ GIL’S EXPRESSION........ WEEPS.... just.... him looking so softly up at Enkidu ;; And the flowers from Enkidu’s CEs.... god I know it’s just a lil easter egg but it just recontextualizes them all cuz those flowers now have a deeper meaning, they’re from one of Enkidu’s precious memories, it’s something that Enkidu associates with Gil, even if subconsciously, and I’m dying.......... AND KINGU’S ‘He’s someone I’m supposed to kill. But I want to talk.’............. i’m just dead basically!

Moving on from Gilkidu feels......

I really love Mashu and Ritsuka’s dynamic in this a lot. I’ve always shipped GudaMash, but I feel like the anime has done a really good job with Ritsuka? They’ve still kept some of the silliness and excitableness the MC has in the game, but mixed in a bit more seriousness and thoughtfulness into his character, and for me it’s a pretty perfect mix so far- the silliness of the MC without some of the more rude and tasteless comments, and more emotional depth than the game really allows us since the MC is pretty limited in dialogue and characterization. 

But like, I feel like the amount of shiptease with RitsuMash so far is just right? They come across as a couple of friends who clearly have some sort of crush on each other, but haven’t really had the time to think about it, so everyting is fine and cute when they’re just doing their work or talking together casually, but the moment someone else brings it up, or they have a moment alone and things begin to get a bit more emotionally intimate than they were expecting, then the blushies start to come up, and it’s just really cute. Their relationship feels very natural to me, it doesn’t feel like a distraction from anything in the story, and I’m really relieved and happy with it.

Also I love how the end of the OP has Ritsuka alone and then looking to see Mashu, and then the end has Mashu alone and then looking to see Ritsuka? Very good...

The last thing I wanna talk about is the Taiga battle? Because holy shit that was cool. I think that fight was like, an exemplary mix between comedic and serious tones, and really highlighted how good the anime is so far about balancing FGO’s comedic tone with its more serious and high stakes moments. Jaguarman is the first god the heroes have encountered who they’ve actually fought, and when it starts off they’re not expecting much from such a weird, cartoonish person- but then she quickly bests them and kicks the crap out of them with ease, never once breaking her character.

I had never really cared that much for Jaguarman in FGO, she never seemed like more than a joke character to me, but seeing her fight animated was fantastic cuz it used that contrast of dangerously strong joke character to make it clear what the gods are like- they might be jovial and goofy but they’re inhuman, and don’t care about humans like a human would, that goofy over the top person is forcing this city to sacrifice its men and them forcing those men to be put to work. The contrast between the personality and the actions shows perfectly how the antagonists in this story function: their way of thinking doesn’t match up with the humans’ way of thinking. 

It’s just!! Super cool! And I feel like it was intentional? Because we literally just had the old man telling us about how the gods aren’t humans, and the protags have to keep themselves from looking at them as such because they won’t be able to approach them properly if they’re thinking of them that way- and then the battle with Jaguarman just exemplifies the difference between the human characters and the gods, in terms of power and in terms of mentality. It’s just. Chef’s kiss. 

The only thing I can say that I don’t like about the anime so far is Isht*r, but that’s not completely the anime’s fault, since they’re mostly just giving voice to what was written in the game. I’ve never been a huge fan of FGO’s Isht*r, I feel like she’s a Rin who is devoid of most the traits that make Rin a compelling and compassionate character, with the traditional tsun traits amped up to 11, and sometimes I would feel like I was just being mean and exaggerating that to myself, but after seeing her onscreen for 30 seconds I was assured that no, I had not been exaggerating to myself, she really is just like that, and god I’m sorry but it was so annoying to sit through her screaming about Ritsuka touching her after she crashed onto him, or immediately going into Tsun mode when questioned in Gilgamesh’s throne room. She comes off as a whiny brat who flips out at the drop of a hat, but there’s also no clear indication of what sorts of things will make her flip out, because the way she reacts to some situations where you’d think would activate the Tsun she remains calm and collected, but others that don’t seem as serious she gets flustered and loud, and it just makes that trait seem so arbitrary, while also making it difficult to take her seriously when she is being aloof and composed? I was grateful she was only a small bit in two episodes so far, but I know she’s going to come back with a vengeance in the next episode and be sticking with us til the end, so I’m not looking forward to that :’) 

But, that is my only real complaint so far! Everything else has been great and I’m enjoying the show a lot! I’m so glad I decided to get over my anxieties and watch it because it’s been such a wonderful experience so far and it’s only 5 episodes in! I can’t wait to see more of it and how it will adapt the rest of the story!

[heavenxpiercing]

In Regards to Aiko

A short series of ficlets from Ichigo’s point of view on Aiko, his little sister in all but blood, and how her death affected him. 

For @aikouo​ || suffer, bitch. uvu

As much as he’d like to deny it, there was a small splinter of jealousy in his heart when it came to Aiko and her relationship with his father—their father. It was stupid. Petty almost. Being jealous of this girl he considered a sister in all but blood. This girl who had almost nothing. Yet it was there. 

Isshin was so loving, doting, and goofy with her—just like he was with Yuzu and Karin. Watching them had always warmed Ichigo’s heart, glad that his family had accepted her so easily into their fold. 

Yet there was still that splinter—aching in his heart. 

A feeling of not belonging. Isshin would not cease harping affection on this girl who he’d only known for such a short time, yet would hardly spare his firstborn son a second glance. An ounce of affection. All the praises and adoration for his daughters: Karin, Yuzu, and Aiko, but what for his son? A swift series of blows meant to be parried and a brief rant about Ichigo’s bristly demeanor. Nothing more, nothing less.  

But that wasn’t her fault. 

She had a tough life and deserved nothing less than every ounce of love the Kurosaki family could pour out for her. Ichigo would never fault her for that. 

Besides, he was pretty sure if he asked Isshin about it, Isshin wouldn’t hesitate, and that was really all he needed… He didn’t need to take any attention away from his sisters. The mental assurance that his father did indeed love him in his own weird way was enough. 

☀    ☀    ☀ 

After her death, guilt consumed him. 

Why couldn’t he protect her? 

It had been by her own hand, he knew, and that tore him up inside. Why didn’t he do more? Why hadn’t he been around that night? Why did he let his own goddamn problems take up so much of his time that he didn’t realize that she wasn’t alright? That she needed him? 

Ichigo wasn’t so arrogant to believe it was only his own inattention that led her to it. Of course not. Things like this were too complex and messy to say it was entirely his fault. He knew that much from his own musings on the riverbank when he was nine. It wasn’t just because his mother was gone. It was also the confusion and pain and guilt all on top of not really knowing what happened that night. It was the despair in his sisters’ eyes. It was Isshin not looking him in the eyes for weeks. 

That knowledge wasn’t enough to assuage the guilt in his heart though. It wasn’t enough to stop the image of her lifeless body from haunting him. It certainly wasn’t enough to blot out her cries begging him not to send her to the afterlife from ringing in his ears.  

“I’ll find you, I promise Aiko. I promise.” 

“Don’t do it! Don’t do it, I’ll never forgive you!”

A roar pierced the night.  Ichigo’s blood ran cold.

“You’re not safe here. I have to. They’ll devour you like this.”

“Don’t.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I hate you.”

☀    ☀    ☀ 

He didn’t remember the funeral. He wasn’t quite sure he even went. In fact, he wasn’t sure he remembered much of anything from the weeks following her death. He only knew he existed during that time because of how he screamed himself raw demanding that the Shinigami allow him into Rukon. He begged everyone from the Soutaichou to Rukia to Urahara to let him go look for her only to be denied by everyone he turned to. 

“The Arrancar are coming. We need you here.”

“She can manage on her own for a few weeks in Rukon. In the meantime the Arrancar take priority.”

“We’ll send squad members out to look for her. Right now, focus on the Arrancar.” 

It was like a broken record. Excuses. Arrancar. Lies. Arrancar. Broken promises. Arrancar.

Didn’t they understand that his sister needed him? 

☀    ☀    ☀ 

Grief made him stupid. It made him more vulnerable to his own hollow.  

When he finally turned to the Vizards for help, he was already a wreck. Guilt, anger, sorrow, and grief made him more volatile than usual, but also more prone to the Hollow’s whims. The mask could form at the drop of a hat, and Ichigo often found himself paralyzed for no reason other than the hollow’s sick amusement. 

“Daydreaming about that dead girl again? You fool. You should be more worried about me! Any day now I’ll be close enough to devour you whole!” 

“Leave me alone goddammit!”

☀    ☀    ☀ 

Shinji was the first person to notice that he wasn’t always all there when it came to training. Probably because he was the only one who’d known Ichigo—no matter how briefly—before Aiko’s death. 

Sometimes he was so caught up with the task at hand, they could hardly get him to stop or settle down for food or rest. Other times, he seemed so overcome with melancholy he could hardly move. Still others, he seemed akin to an animal in a cage, just itching to burst free and leave everything behind. 

After a couple weeks, Shinji had enough of Ichigo’s mood swings. 

When he confronted the substitute about it, Ichigo could do nothing more than break down. Whatever Shinji had expected, the teen guessed it probably wasn’t this. 

Then again, who would expect they’d end up with a sobbing 15-year-old in their arms for their trouble? 

☀    ☀    ☀ 

The good thing about Shinji was that he didn’t have any expectations of Ichigo. None of the Vizards did, not really. He wasn’t a weapon or a soldier or a tool to them. He wasn’t a hero either. He was just a standoffish kid going through something they’d all already been through before. It wasn’t that they liked him or anything. They simply understood. And fuck if that wasn’t exactly what he needed right now. 

However, Shinji was…different. 

He cared.

For all his annoying quirks and dramatics, he could be surprisingly serious. In a way, he reminded Ichigo a bit of his own dad… Like if Isshin had ever bothered with any semblance of dignity at least. 

Unlike his dad though, Shinji didn’t shirk around affectionate gestures. A pat on the head or shoulders. A one armed embrace. Hell, he even went as far as to ask about how Ichigo was doing and feeling every now and again. 

It was foreign. 

It was nice. 

☀    ☀    ☀

After he lost his powers, he was numb. 

He didn’t want to die… not really… He just wasn’t quite sure how to live… how to move on. 

Some nights he would find himself sitting at the riverbank, staring down at the water. He didn’t know how to live without the dead being such a prominent presence in his life… And she was there… waiting for him on the other side… 

Those thoughts that haunted him back when his mother died never really left, but they were background thoughts. Intrusive and unwanted and ultimately fleeting for the most part. Now though, they didn’t seem to want to leave. They itched at the forefront of his brain. 

‘You promised her. You promised her. Just do it. There’s no other way to get to her now. Just do it.’

‘You wanna do it anyways. Why don’t you.’

‘You’re useless at being a person. You weren’t meant to be alive. You never even made any plans for growing up. What’s holding you back?’

What was holding him back? Only the same things that held him back 8 years ago. Yuzu. Karin. Tatsuki. Now there was Chad to think about too. Uryu and Orihime… Mizuiro and Keigo as well… Sure… Chad, Uryu, and Orihime hadn’t been around much lately… but that was his own fault. 

Aiko would understand, right? 

Him living for Yuzu and Karin? 

As much as he loved her, as much as he wanted to be with her and make sure she was okay… Yuzu and Karin were his sisters too, and he couldn’t make them worry and more than they already did. Couldn’t hurt them more than he already had. 

He had to go on living. For them. He had to do his best… 

Besides… Rukia promised she’d look for her for him… She wouldn’t break her promise… right?

☀    ☀    ☀ 

Living was hard. 

He resolved to live and he refused to be swayed from that---Zangetsu would never forgive him should he allow his resolve to crumble---but that did not change the fact that living was hard. 

Some days he had too much energy. Some days, too little. 

When restlessness bubbled inside him, he’d wander the streets until he found himself in places that made his heart ache. The library near the train station where he and Aiko went to study sometimes. A bakery that sold numerous treats---strawberry milk, chocolate cakes, and milk bread amongst them---that he’d taken her to multiple times. Several times he found himself standing at the spot he found her and his blood ran cold every time. 

Ichigo could never get away from that spot fast enough. He’d turn around and sprint away as fast as he could, paying absolutely no mind to where he was going. As long as he could get away.

Once he found himself at the Vizards’ warehouse. Once. 

He even went so far as to go in, breaking his rule of not going near his connections to his old double life. It was one thing to avoid Urahara Shoten like the plague. It was another to not even say ‘hi’ to the people who helped him get stronger and kept him from going insane when he’d already practically run-up to their doorstep, right? Besides, he owed them a thank you at the very least. 

Finding the place abandoned was a little unexpected. But it wasn’t at all upsetting. Not at all. That was the lie he told himself on the way home at least. 

From then on, Ichigo made sure to steer far from the now-abandoned warehouse. 

 Other days, those when he had no energy whatsoever, Ichigo found himself weighed down with grief and exhaustion and a heaviness he had no name for. He didn’t even have the energy to get out of bed. 

Yet no matter how much he wished to sleep away the day, he rarely let himself give in. He was supposed to be living, dammit. Loathsome though it may be, he would force himself upright and out of bed with every ounce of willpower he could muster. 

Rare was it that he made it to school on those days, but at least he was not wasting away in bed, he resolved. Instead, he often found himself at the cemetery where his mother was buried. Longing for the company of the dead wasn’t exactly living, but it wasn’t dying. If nothing else, it wasn’t dying or contemplating his own death, and that was something. 

Lighting incense and praying for his mother and Aiko was… cathartic in a way. Atheist in that he believed in no higher power, having seen the injustice of the afterlife first hand, he was not above the Shinto practices he grew up with. It was strange how much he took comfort in such things as praying and lighting incense at the family shrine, but it was nice nonetheless. 

Aiko wasn’t buried there. He never actually found out where she was buried, but he knew it wasn’t there. His dad mentioned something about her “father” claiming the right to bury (maybe that’s why he couldn’t remember the funeral? Her father didn’t let them go?) or something along those lines. That didn’t deter his family in the slightest from adding Aiko to the family shrine. They put a grave marker for her right next to Masaki’s with the inscription, “Aiko, beloved daughter and sister, a true Kurosaki in every regard”.

“I can’t… I can’t look for you now… but I will. As soon as I can, I will… I really hope Rukia found you… Or at least… at least that wherever you are… you’re okay, Aiko.”

☀    ☀    ☀ 

[jadewing-realms]

“You think this troubles me?”

Nobody needs the distraction of meaningless prattle. Words that mean nothing, do nothing but clutter the air and make it hard to focus on the pertinent issues. So when the briefing room empties of all the superfluous jugheads who can’t contribute, leaving only the operatives known to the public as Ground Zero, Deku, and Crow clustered around the holographic map of the eastern edge of the Minato ward, the very last thing Bakugou Katsuki expects to hear spoken, out loud, in all seriousness, is:

“You should tell Uraraka how you feel.” 

And Deku’s not even kidding.

Katsuki can tell because the moment he hears those words, his head snaps up fast enough to make his vertebrae pop loose after hours of staring in the general ground-ward direction, and his childhood tagalong is wearing his Game Face. It’s the one where his big eyes are stunningly steady compared to his usual jitter and his mouth is set in a straight line instead of his trademark smile.

Of course, Katsuki responds to this out-of-the-blue declaration like any intelligent man would:

“What the f***??”

Unfortunately, this does nothing to deter the little nerd, who continues to stare at him from under his tense brow. Or at least, he does until it seems like his unruly fringe, draping from the front of his undercut, makes it incredibly difficult to do so and he tosses it aside with a jerk of his head. That seems to break his intense attempt to reprogram Katsuki’s brain via Eye Contact, and he leans both gloved hands casually on the edge of the projection table. “I’m serious.”

Katsuki gapes at him like a goldfish for three seconds before he glances around, checks for hidden cameras or anybody who might possibly be thinking it’s the perfect time to eavesdrop. When he finds none of the above, he levels his rival with a sturdy glare and replies quietly—just in case that All Clear status decides to change on a dime.

“The h***, Deku, you’re bringing this up now??” Katsuki snarls. “We’re f***in’ briefing. We’re about to set up a sting.”

“She’s gonna be there and I know you haven’t told her yet. It’s relevant.”

Katsuki scoffs. He knows about her involvement in this operation, of course. Uraraka told him about her recruitment just yesterday, when she accosted him as he came off the train platform on his way to his patrol. They’d both conveniently had the same idea to visit the same coffee shop en route, to her delight and his chagrin. Not that he didn’t—doesn’t—like her company. He wouldn’t still be dating her if he didn’t. At the time, she hadn’t reached her agency yet, her Hero suit in a duffel and herself clad in workout clothes instead and when he’d commented on her choice of wardrobe in late autumn, she admitted to jogging to the area instead of taking the train. Heck, she’d even invited him along some days, if he felt like it.

Which he did. He really, really did. Still does. They train together already, sure, but this would be even more time he’d get to delegate to her, and there’s a part of him that would do so gladly. But he hasn’t told her that; he can’t. For many reasons. Which he begrudgingly admitted to Deku not two weeks ago, under strict confidence. Some confidence. And quite honestly, he’s sure he’s been nothing but inconspicuous all this time. Ochako hasn’t even said anything. So where the h*** does Deku get off calling him out like this?

A thousand and one crude, defensive, perfectly appropriate responses flit past the forefront of his mind, except he can’t settle on a single one beyond his raw astonishment at Deku’s unnerving amount of gall. Instead, he gestures his speechlessness with an open palm and turns an ‘are you serious’ glance of confirmation to their third and senior companion. Crow, to his credit, keeps his arms folded, one delicate hand raised to press the crook of his index finger over his lips, and simply closes his black eyes to shake his head once. A refusal of involvement.

Smart man. Regrettably. Can’t he be partial to reason just this once? Why does Crow always have to be so good at this whole diplomat thing?

Deku’s not finished apparently. “You almost cost us the last op.”

“What!? In your dreams. I f***ing owned that op!” Katsuki spits back in defense. “I took both of those punks down with a single Howitzer.”

“After you almost managed to be taken hostage, which would have doubled our problems.” Deku raises an eyebrow. “You remember why that happened?”

“Don’t patronize me!”

“You banked everything on a joint Climbing Silver maneuver with Red Riot as your forward, risked both your safety and the whole operation, all because Uravity went down and Kirishima wasn’t about to let you charge in there by yourself like an idiot. You let her circumstances negatively effect your performance and it’s not the first time in the past month.”

Katsuki grinds his teeth, not needing or appreciating the reminder of his embarrassingly risky life decisions. They’re his business, d*** it, Ochako-centric or not. It’s not like Deku can prove a thing either, so really, the two of them are the only people who know that what he’s accusing Katsuki of is 100% true. It’s been hard to keep his head in the game lately, not that he’d make it obvious to anybody else. Though, by the way Crow’s eyes are darting between them while he himself remains silent, Katsuki gets the idea that their intuitive handler doesn’t need proof to sense what’s really going on. He’s always been annoyingly perceptive.

Katsuki will throw himself into traffic before he admits his own guilt, though. To anybody, especially his nerdy co-worker and his operation manager. Contrary to popular opinion, he does have a sense of dignity. It’s for that same reason he hasn’t told Ochako about his doubts yet.

He just… needs time. He can’t just come out and tell her that the rational part of him has been questioning their relationship ever since he came back from America. He can’t let her know how deep he’s in, not now… Maybe not ever. For many reasons. Top of the list being that, as he plunges headlong into his career, he’s not sure if there’s even going to be room for her in his narcissistic heart, dead-set on becoming the #1 Hero. After what she went through with her previous boyfriend back in high school… it wouldn’t be fair.

It’s her or his ambitions, and he’s not sure he’s ready to make that decision.

Until he sorts out his s***, it doesn’t matter how his heart leaps every time she says ‘hey Katsuki!’, using his first name like she already f***ing owns it, and he turns to find her with that boxy, utterly-adorable smile of hers on that goofy round face; doesn’t matter how many secrets they share, how many nights spent swapping dumb stories under the stars, decked out in full Hero gear on top of some building somewhere… yeah, no matter what, he can’t say a word. Because he doesn’t want to lose any of that until he decides he has no choice.

“I don’t have to listen to this,” Katsuki grumbles, averting his eyes to the map in front of them. He tries to focus on the target location, tries to think of possible exit routes and most likely wrenches, but he can’t freaking focus, not with Deku’s eyes boring into him from across the table. “You guys were the ones who brought me in for this. If you don’t want me here, then make up your d*** minds.”

“Your CO already signed the paperwork,” is the first and most terribly unhelpful thing Crow says.

D***, that means he’s locked in here until the operation’s over. Stupid paperwork! Why the h*** would Mirko do that to him? After all the song and dance against joint efforts…

“I’m just thinking about Uraraka. And the operation,” Deku adds, his expression taking on that incredibly earnest air of I Mean Everything I’m About to Say. “It’s going to take time and patience and plenty of risk, especially for her… If you get caught up in this… whatever it is, you’ll be putting her in danger. You’re the one who’s always saying she can more than handle herself. So we all need your guarantee that you won’t let anything cloud your judgment, and I honestly think that coming clean to her would be the best way to avoid that! That’s all.”

“Like h***,” Katsuki scoffs, keeping his ire directed at the hologram. It’s better than being subjected to that infuriatingly kind face that he just knows Deku’s giving him right now. He knows the nerd is talking about more than just the operation at this point. He’s not a moron… Even after their breakup, Deku and Ochako have been irritatingly close, and Deku’s never ceased to jump to her defense at the drop of a hat. His bleeding heart also renders him too sympathetic to Katsuki’s plight to outright accuse him of anything, so instead, he translates over to this incessant advice crap.

News flash for the nerd: Katsuki doesn’t need his concern. Or his help.

Besides. Doesn’t he understand that giving Katsuki advice on his relationship with his ex-girlfriend is like, the weirdest s*** ever?

But never let it be said Deku knows when to stop talking. “You just seem so… troubled lately. You’ve been in this sorta fog for the longest time, even Sasuke noticed the other day. He says he actually managed to hit you without activating his Reaper.”

Katsuki feels a vein pop in his forehead. That b*****d actually told him that!? The h***, why would he do that? Well, that’s it, their regular sparring sessions are done. He’s not about to subject himself to this on a regular basis, if the moron’s just gonna turn around and blab all his weaknesses to f***ing Deku.

“You’re both delusional,” Katsuki accuses. His angst is none of their d*** business. The defense is lacking in fire, though, because quite suddenly, a heavy sense of Tired has taken to hanging off his shoulders like Crow’s four-year-old brat. This whole conversation is honestly the last thing he wants to deal with right now and it’s draining him out like yesterday’s coffee.

“Kacchan, you can’t just… leave her hanging! Itachi, can help me out here?” Deku finally concedes his inability to convince Katsuki of anything. Which is really something he should’ve been convinced of within their first year of half-baked friendship back when they were kids. But then, Deku’s always been a bit slow in the Giving Up department. The fact that he’s looking for confirmation from the person who just denied it from Katsuki irks the latter enough to make him privately seethe.

The elder Uchiha in question lowers his hand from his mouth just enough to shake his head unhindered. “Mm, don’t bring me into this. I’m just waiting for you to finish.”

“But even you’ve noticed how weird he’s being lately, right?” Deku’s fishing and Katsuki doesn’t try to hide how insulted he is by this.

Thankfully, Crow remains neutral. “And you think this troubles me?”

Thank you! Finally, someone on his side. Kind of.

Deku looks a bit surprised that his Moral Endeavor isn’t being properly supported by the only other empathetic being in the room. “B-But, wait a second. It’s gotten to the point of effecting performance rates. I just said that.”

“F***ing lay off, Deku,” Katsuki spits, tired of his friend’s crap. He’s stopped sounding concerned and now he’s just being nosy. “You’re the one not focusing here.”

“This is a legitimate concern to me,” Deku reiterates, gesturing into the space between them with a stiff hand that demonstrates his inflexibility on this issue. “Things can go haywire fast when personal issues get tangled up in professional operations.”

“Yeah, ‘cause you’d know all about that,” Katsuki needles and he knows it’s not fair, but he’s always had an on-point Bulls*** Radar. Deku possesses an uncanny knack for setting it off. Usually when his Naive Idealism comes into outright conflict with Practical Experience, which Katsuki knows both he and Deku have in spades.

“Hey, I’m working on it!” Deku looks a bit hurt. “That’s why I’m even saying anything right now!”

“Okay.” The single word from Crow crashes between them like a grand piano dropped from a crane, and it shuts them both up quick. Their handler snatches up their attention without moving a muscle from his pensive position.

Once he’s certain he has them captive, Crow goes on. “Ground Zero is correct. This is something of a rabbit trail. However, if any of our operatives has concerns for their safety or the safety of others, I want to keep that in consideration. I’ll review the roles and see if we can move things around to best avoid conflicts of interest. I’ll run the final setup by you, Deku, before I send it on for approval from Insight. Does that sound agreeable to you?”

Deku rubs the back of his neck. He doesn’t look the happiest, but he knows a good compromise when he sees one. He nods. “Yes, thank you.”

Katsuki just glares daggers at the traitorous wretch, while Crow continues heedless.

“Good. And I trust this won’t be an issue in the future?” Crow’s bottomless gaze shifts toward Katsuki and it’s both pointed and soft. He knows that look. It means he’d like to Explain to Katsuki a Thing but is otherwise refraining for obvious reasons of professionalism. That look can either be good or very bad. Sometimes both simultaneously. Katsuki hates it.

Stiffening, he clenches his fingers against the edge of the table, the blue light from the hologram highlighting every crease over his knuckles. He shoots his senior a glare tailored just for him. “Of f***ing course! What the h*** kind of question is that?”

Crow holds up a placating hand and turns away, relinquishing the subject. Which is more than can be said regarding Deku, who’s gone back to staring at Katsuki like he can read his thoughts written on the slopes of his forehead, his steady gaze promising more uncomfortable confrontation to come in the near future.

Katsuki’s going to have to watch his back for a while.

[meli-productions]

Tying the Ribbon

Day 7: Ribbon

As she got older the whole ‘ribbon’ thing started getting old. Plus, her hair had started to grow out and thicker and it would get stuck and tangle the strands more than they probably should. But it was special. No matter what Rhondaloid said, she couldn’t just get rid of it altogether.

So she started mixing it up. Sometimes she wore it around her neck as a choker, tied up at the side as a bow. Or sometimes around her wrist or others tied around her locket or on her backpack, anywhere to keep it on her.

Other times, there just wasn’t time and so she’d carry it in her hand and worry the soft silk under her fingers.

“Helga,” Phoebe said, sitting next to her on the bus, “you want me to tie that somewhere?”

She turned tired eyes towards her friend and gave her a small smile, “Nah, don’t worry about it Pheebs. I think I’m just gonna hold it today.”

“It’s getting kinda worn out,” mumbled Phoebe looking at the fading pink. She remembered when it was bright and would pop out in Helga’s blonde hair. Now it was washed out and fraying at the ends.

Helga gave a thoughtful hum before tucking the ends around her fist, “Yeah, I know. But when have I ever known to let dead things lie?”

Phoebe rolled her eyes as they changed the subject, talking about the schoolwork and projects they had to do for the coming week.

Arnold’s eyes remained on Helga, narrowing as they scanned over her features.

Something’s different.

Gerald, sitting next to Arnold eyed his friend and then back at the center of his attention. He took in the determined furrow of his brow and the tip of his tongue peeking out as he started thinking harder.

“Arnold, my man,” Gerald said, nudging the boy. “If you don’t stop staring you’re gonna get punched in the face.”

Arnold rolled his eyes, “She’s not gonna punch me, Gerald.”

“Then why are you staring at Helga G. Pataki?”

“There’s something…missing,” he said, turning his attention back to the blonde girl that was chuckling about something that Phoebe had told her.

Gerald gave a slight snort, “Arnold, I know that you’re kinda slow, but haven’t you figured it out yet?”

“What?”

“She’s not wearing her ribbon, dude. She hasn’t worn her ribbon in her hair for months.”

Arnold’s mouth dropped open a little as his eyes locked at the crown of her head. Then his eyes lowered to her neck, then to her wrist until they landed on the slim slip of light pink in her hand. The frayed edges of the ribbon drew his attention and a tiny huff escaped his lips.

“It’s…old,” he said. He could vaguely remember the bright pink in the middle of a storm and the little girl under it getting soaked to the bone.

His friend shrugged, “Well, yeah, she’s worn it everyday since Pre-K…she loves that thing more than she loves knocking our blocks.”

Arnold turned another annoyed face at Gerald and felt something tug at his stomach, “There’s just something wrong about Helga without her ribbon. It’s like…”

“You without your hat? Me without my suave?” asked Gerald.

It was Arnold’s turn to snort, “Sure, Gerald.” Then he was serious again. “But…you’re on the right track.”

It was a week later and Helga was twisting the ribbon around her wrist, a nervous habit she had begun to have. Now it burned with the feeling of Arnold’s fingers ghosting over her skin and the thin ribbon.

“Why did you have to drag me away from everyone, Football Head? What gives?” She huffed, hiding her blush with an irritated look.

Arnold rubbed the back of his neck, “Sorry, Helga. I just didn’t want anyone to see and…well, and get the wrong idea.”

“Sure, like dragging me away from everyone and behind a dumpster isn’t going to make people ‘get the wrong idea’.”

Arnold had the decency to blush as he pulled his backpack off, rifling through it until he pulled out a small rectangular box wrapped up in metallic, glittering paper. Before Helga could ask, he held it out at her, the blush on his face intensifying.

“Here.”

Helga’s frown deepened but she reached out and took the box from the boy, “What is this, Arnold?”

“Just…open it.”

Helga gave a little groan and tore the paper. Then looked at the top of the box for a second, back up at Arnold’s hopeful and open expression, and opened the box.

Curled up against the soft downy cotton filling of the little box laid a ribbon. The same length as her old one, she could tell just by looking at it and apparently the same material as she took it in her fingers and felt the soft silkiness. The only thing that was different was the brightness of the pink and the little gold stitching of an ‘H’ at the ends.

She took a sharp intake of air and curled the ribbon on her index finger. Then she turned wide, blue eyes at the boy in front of her.

“Arnold, what--”

“You haven’t been wearing your ribbon anymore,” he said, then gestured at her hand, “at least not in your hair. So I thought that maybe…if you have another one--”

Helga’s mouth dropped open, then she gathered her wits and gave a little breathless laugh, “You’re telling me that you bought me a new ribbon because--what, you missed me wearing my ribbon?”

He shuffled his feet a little, looking down at the dirt that was being kicked up, “I mean…it’s your ribbon. It’s a part of you. But…why shouldn’t you have a new one.”

“I think I’m a little too old to have a ribbon in my hair,” Helga said, her voice dry. “Plus, this one has…sentimental value.”

Arnold’s small smile fell, “Oh.”

“But,” Helga said, feeling a smile play on her lips, “I suppose I could make an exception every now and then.” As Arnold’s own face broke into a smile, Helga reached up and quickly tied the new ribbon into her hair.

She shook her head, though the smile remained, “Happy now, Football Head?”

The smile softened into a goofy one as he sighed, “Absolutely.”

[boredoutofmymindwriting]

The Hero You Need?

“Pretend to be my date at my family´s wedding and oh look we´re in love.” “You don´t need to be a superhero to get the girl, the right girl will bring out the hero in you - Deadpool” @frickfracklesackles

This is my entry for frickfracklesackles 1000 follower challenge.

Once more I´m so sorry for the long absence but I´m hopefully back on track. Feedback is much appreciated and I might even do a second part if you guys want to find out more about Jensen´s and the reader´s relationship. 

Wordcount: 1611

Pairing: Jensen X Reader

Warnings: Language, Fluff, wedding?

Tags at the end

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~ Jensen´s Pov ~

 I hated this, I´d been invited to Joshuas wedding and I had to bring a plus one. I didn´t mind the whole wedding thing but I have no one to bring, it´s not that I don´t have someone in mind it´s just that she just dosen´t see me that way… She needs a superhero and I´m sure I´m not one of them. I absentmindedly drum my fingers against the dashboard as I wait for Y/N to come back with our coffee. My mind wanders back to when I opened the invitation and how the first person I could think of to bring with me as my plus one was Y/N. Soon the passenger door being opened by her pulled me out of my thoughts and back to reality. She handed me my cup with a goofy smile.

“I got you the usual” she said causing me to return the smile but it must´ve been a bit forced because her´s fell slightly.

 “What´s wrong?” her voice was etched with concern. I shook my head.

 “Nothing´s wrong Y/N/N. I just need to ask you a favour and it´s a big one..” I say taking a deep breath, I knew I had to say it as quick as possible or I´d chicken out.

 “I need you to pretend to be my wedding date at Joshuas wedding.” I said scratching my neck. She furrowed her brows in confusion.

 “Why do you need me to be your wedding date? Don´t you have a girlfriend or something for that?” She said not understanding why. I sighed before continuing.

 “They need mer to have a plus one at the wedding and since I know how mom will react you were the one i could think of that wouldn´t be weirded out by it.” I took a gulp of coffee studying her face closely for a reaction. Her face softens and I think I saw a light shade of pink on her cheeks but no matter how hard I tried not to think about it I couldn´t let it go. She smiled gently at me and placed her hand on my shoulder causing me to instantly relax.

 “I´ll do it J. When´s the wedding?” I looked down at my coffeecup while fiddling with the lid.

 “I know this is really short notice but it´s gonna be tomorrow…” This caused her eyes widened slightly before she rubbed her forehead.

 “A day?! Seriously J?! How do you expect me to find something to wear?” I really didn´t want to stress her out like this.

 “I´m sorry. I guess I didn´t really think that through, I mean we are already on the road so we could go shopping now?” I half smile at her hoping she´ll calm down a little. She nodded while drinking her coffee before sighing.

 “Fine, but you´re paying. AND you owe me food.” She said pointing at me causing me to chuckle.

 “It´s a deal then.” I said while starting the engine and I drove to the nearest mall that hopefully had something that Y/N would be comfortable wearing at the wedding. Once I stopped the car I put on one of my hats hoping it´d lessen the possibility to get recognised by fans. I could feel her eyes on me before I heard her giggling. I turned to her with my left brow raised.

 “What´s so funny?” I asked and she just shook her head smiling still giggling at me.

 “Nothing. It´s just that whenever you put on that hat or whatever and think you´ll draw away attention from yourself it actually does the opposite if I have to be honest.” She said grabbing the hat and tossing it in the backseat.

 “Let´s leave that here and I´m sure you´ll do fine.” She said getting out of the car. I chuckled and did the same before locking the car and following her inside.

 “Let´s try that store first.” She said while grabbing my hand and dragging me along to the store that was filled with clothes. I can´t help but smile at the determined expression on her face. She walked over to one of the racks with dresses and looked at a few while mumbling.

 “I hate shopping.” She walked over to a different rack and I did the same thing hoping I could help her find a dress. I picked out a dress (your choice) and felt the soft fabric between my fingers and I smile.

 “Y/N/N, what about this one?” I say catching her attention. She walks over to me and looks at the dress before grabbing it to look at it closer.

“Well well Ackles, I didn´t  know you were this good at shopping. If I knew I´d bring you along for more of these shopping trips.” She smirked causing me to chuckle and roll my eyes playfully.

 “Whatever Y/L/N, just ry it on.” I say. She smiles and walk towards the dressingroom and I follow and sit down on a chair outside the room. A few minutes later she stepped out of the dressingroom and I can feel my mouth drop slightly before I felt a childish grin creep onto my lips. She smiled awkwardly.

 “So does it look okay?” She asked and bit her lip slightly. I nod not knowing what else to do. I wish I could just stand up and grab her and put a kiss on her perfect lips showing her just how good she looks right now or anytime really but I can´t.

 “You look amazing Y/N/N.” I grin and she smiles back at me.

 “Great! Now the only thing left is shoes.” She says while walking back into the dressingroom and changed back into her clothes. I pay for the dress before walking to a different store for shoes when she suddenly stopped and turned around facing me.

 “Please tell me you already have something to wear.” She looked at me dead serious. I chuckled and nodded.

 “Of course I have, well not me but since I´m the best man it was fixed along with Joshuas suit otherwise we´d probably be looking for a suit for me too.” This caused her to roll her eyes before turning back around and walking to the shoe shop. After she´d tried on at least eight pair of shoes she decided on (Your choice of shoes) and I paid for them too. As we strolled around the mall she grabbed my hand and I started to gently rubbing my thumb over the back of her hand while feeling some butterflies in the pit of my stomach.

“What do you say about getting some lunch?” I said looking down at her with a smile. She grinned at me before answering.

 “Sounds great!”

 ~ Time skip to the wedding still Jensen´s Pov ~

 I´m helping Joshua with his suit and tries to calm his nerves before we walk into the chapel and I searched the rows filled with family and friends trying to spot Y/N´s face not really paying any attention to what was said until I saw her just as Joshua said.

 “I promise to be true to you in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.” When those words left my brothers mouth I couldn´t help but smile at Y/N and hope that we would stand here one day and I´d get to utter those words while looking into her Y/E/C.

  ~ Time skip to the afterparty Jensen´s Pov ~

 As my brother and his newlywed wife were enjoying their first dance as husband and wife I snuck up behind Y/N and wrapped my arms around her waist causing her to jump slightly but she relaxed again when she saw it was me from the corner of her eye. I rest my chin against her shoulder.

 “She found her superhero.” I whispered into her ear smiling. She smiled to while watching them dance.

 “Well, you don´t need to be a superhero to get the girl, I think the right girl will bring out the hero in you.” She whispered back as she turned around in my arms. Her eyes was glistening filled with something I never thought I´d see in her eyes while she was looking at me and a small smile played on her lips. I realised how close we were and how my hands was still resting on her waist. I smiled back lightly at her.

 “I think I´m a hero, here, with you in my arms.” I say nervously hoping her reaction wouldn´t be all bad. I barely have time to react before she grins at me.

“Finally.” She says before crashing her lips against mine. As we pull away both our cheeks are flushed and I smile at her while she giggles.

 “Look at us, we went to this wedding as two friends secretly in love with each other and we´ll leave this wedding as a couple. How cliché is that?” She giggles causing me to chuckle and place another sweet but quick kiss on her lips.

 “Very, but if I´m gonna be cliché with anyone you´re my only choice. I can feel a childish grin spread across my face. Man am I glad that my family forced me to bring a plus one.

 Forever tags

@bea789

@beckawinchester

@evyiione

@malecsunshines

@mogaruke

 Jensen X Reader

@deansbaekaz2y5

@chelseypaigeake

@malecsunshines

@confusedpotatofairy

@a-fangirl-stuff

@lifeisforlosers

@xpanicatthespnx

[martywurst]

YEAR 2: The Worst Comedian (Part 2)

I had an encounter with former Comedy Store talent coordinator, Tommy, who was fired just months prior and was working on developing another home base where he could still play comedy godfather. The Vaucluse Lounge was a mere two blocks away from the Comedy Store and now Tommy was recruiting comics that were still loyal to him and putting on shows. They were calling this place Chaplin's House, but I don't think there was anything historic about it.

It really was an impressive bar/lounge, but management was falling apart. It was a ghost town. I ordered their onion rings and got a pile of American cheese on a couple of turd circles (psst, I'm not really a writer). I ordered something disgusting and got so much more.

"Ooh, that looks good, I'm gonna get that!" one comic said, pinching and stretching some cheese off my plate.

A couple of nights the place was locked up unannounced, black curtains drawn, even though a show was supposed to be going on. Headliners were bailing before their sets.

There were a couple of open mics going on there, too. Tommy would play some acoustic guitar for 30 minutes to get the room warmed up. He played the same three songs over and over. Or maybe it was just the same three chords, I can't remember. He was like one of those dudes that destroy a party by forcing us to listen to a cover of Hotel California. Strictly Hollywood Blvd quality. Then he would hang out for the mic and occasionally give advice to some lucky comic.

After one of my sets, he was suddenly next to me, talking into my ear like David Blaine.

"There's something that's still missing, but I don't know what it is."

"I'm not connecting with the audience?" I asked.

"There was just something missing. Try sitting on a stool and just saying your material, so it's not so (in-your-face gesture) forced. Your material is good, it had an intelligence and you have a good look. It's not about how you look on stage, it's about how you look on camera....really. But I think you just need to say what you have to say- I took it in. You'll get there, I enjoyed it."

Then he patted me on the shoulder and walked away.

Maybe if I worked hard enough I could become a Vaucluse regular! I honestly thought it was cool to get advice from Tommy, despite him being a reputed racist douchebag. I mean, he was once the apprentice of The Comedy Store owner Mitzi Shore, so his opinion has to count for something, right? A racist's opinion is still an opinion. Plus, he really wailed on the guitar!

One night at Vaucluse I waited around for 2 hours to do a 10 minute set. That's actually a good set for that kind of wait, but this night was excruciating. There was a line-up of all male comics that had plenty to say about the opposite sex: Stories varied from "This bitch was sucking my dick," to "I wanted to give her brown eye a black eye!" and so forth. I remember hearing the bartender making pained noises behind the counter, like some victim of a stabbing. left for dead. She had to just stand there and take it...every worthless comedian. Worst of all, EVERYONE got 10 minutes. When the first 30 seconds are torture, the next 9 1/2 feel like a lifetime. When they finally got to me the host said,

"Uhh, you get 2 minutes."

I've never been that pissed at an open mic before. Mother...FUCKER. They were letting the worst people host, nothing ever started on time, the food was godawful, the bartender wanted to kill herself, and no one seemed to give a shit that the place was falling apart. I was mentally trying to stay positive and tune out all the negative shit I'd been listening to, but now I wanted to douse myself in gasoline and tackle the host into the fireplace--that would be such a great closer. My stomach was turning from the onion rings, so I opted for my shitty set instead.

But hey, it's 2 minutes so I did it. I got through a joke-and-a-half. Once I left, I cursed and muttered angrily all the way to the bus, letting the "cocksuckers" and "motherfuckers" fly.

I went home and looked at their Facebook page and saw this ridiculous post,

"Chaplin's House is being called the New Comedy Store...no joke."

Nobody's laughing.

Anyway, that place folded and Tommy moved on to another space where he still occasionally gives out his comedy pointers.

Also in my second year I was doing fewer bringer shows, but I still got roped into a couple more at Flappers. I would quickly get stressed out again and moan to my girlfriend about why I put myself through this. Just reading the emails made me want to puke:

Respond to this email with a head count of how many audience you expect so that we can properly staff the room. 

It takes everyone involved to have epic shows--we do ask everyone to always aim to have at least 5 people per show.  If you are unable to get anyone out please let us know and we will re-schedule you for a date that is more convenient for you to support.

Like I said before, they only want me back when I make some fucking friends!

I decided to not show up at all and go to the Rebel Bite open mic in Long Beach instead. An open mic at a pizza joint was better than doing a bringer show, at least in my head. I wrote back:

Sorry for the delay,   I wanted to get a more accurate count of zero confirmed.    I think my friends tapped out months ago.  Let me know if you want to reschedule or give me the boot.  Or I'll audition again once I have a little fanbase I can depend on instead of wasting everybody's time. Nothing personal.  Thanks.

I shouldn't have felt bad about it anyway, since I bought 4 of my videotaped sets from them.

Then there was the Formosa Cafe. I did it because I was told it wasn't REALLY a bringer show...just sort of. Uggh. I won't mention the names. I can still hear the producer pretending to laugh at other people's sets--so forced and obvious, trying to get the crowd on our side. He'd be looking down at his phone and let out a

"BWAHAHAHAHA!"

Then I'd have to listen to some jerk-off host do his Family Guy impressions for 15 minutes. Then the producer would go up and do the most dated material--many of these bringer show people stick to their one routine. Anyway, what do I know, they're the ones cashing in, right?

I had friends show up for my first and second show, then the third time none of my friends came out and the producer stopped booking me. During past shows, he was blowing smoke up my ass and said all these nice things about my particular brand of humor, but he was only thinking about the head-count. He was a phony just like his forced laughter.

 There were some nice moments. My blues buddy, Street Slim invited me to do a set at The Rainbow Bar and Grill, a really cool rock bar on The Sunset Strip. Just to do something outside the ring of comedians that I was usually bumping heads with felt really special.

My friend Donald and I rented out a black box theater and produced a variety show. It ran 2 1/2 hours and half the audience left, but we had a great time.

I co-produced a comedy show with Jeanne Whitney and Timika Hall at Echoes Under Sunset. We only did 3 shows, but it was a fantastic experience.

I remember bombing at the new UCB on Sunset and when I was walking back to the car, a couple I've never seen before starts yelling at me from their car.

"Marty, you were funny!"

"What?"

"We were inside."

"Really? Thanks, it felt like death in there."

"We thought you were funny."

"Working on it, working on it."

That blew my mind. Who does that? And they remembered my name!

One time they moved a Comedy Store open mic into the Main Room and after we finished our sets, Bill Burr dropped in and did 15 minutes to an all-comic crowd. It was awesome.

Another time I was waiting around for Tony Bartolone's Hat Show to start and the great Rick Shapiro was outside with Rick Wood and Jeremy Bassett. Shapiro was making fun of the Oldtown Pasadena scene and he suddenly gets a glimmer in his eye and this evil grin,

"Let's go to the Mac Store and jerk off!"

It was said with such demented glee. Later we went to get him some Starbucks and he told the barista that his name was Johnny Two Chicks. He was so excited to hear the name called out, but it didn't get the reaction he wanted.

 Then there was the time that I was waiting in the green room for another possible Kill Tony episode at the Comedy Store. Dom Irrera comes in and sits down across from me. It's silent, it's uncomfortable, the guy is amazing, so I'm a little in awe. He asks me if I'm a comic and how long I've been doing it. Very friendly, but I just gave him short answers. Meanwhile, Pat Regan was on stage singing about how much he misses getting jacked off in San Francisco, and Dom and I are just sitting there while this song is in the background. Dom turns to me completely serious and says,

"This song brings back a lot of memories." I barked out a laugh.

I started making goofy set-lists and posting them online. Just a good way to vent about the shit I'd seen at open mics during the week. Here are a few of my favorites:

The usual variety of homophobic/misogynistic shit I'd hear on any given week.

 My second Kill Tony appearance went a little better, but only because I managed to get a few laughs. It was a unique situation because I brought my buddy Dakota Freeman with me, but he was under 21 and wouldn't be allowed inside the club unless he was called up to perform. So I stood outside with him, listening through the door every few minutes to see if we'd get called.

About 30 minutes into the show I got called, but I couldn't open the door from the outside. For a second, the hosts thought I had flaked, but a couple of my friends were in the audience, telling them I was behind the door because I was with a minor. They opened the door for me and at this point there was some confusion because the hosts were under the impression that I was the one underage. Then when it was cleared up Tony says,

"Oh, you're hanging out with underage boys. Ok!"

Before I've even started my set, another pedophile joke had been spiked over my head. You can probably see where this is going.

I didn't gain any Twitter followers this time--in fact, I think I lost a couple.  They probably thought I was really a pedophile.

 Gradually, I found some open mics down in Long Beach, where I had moved in with my girlfriend. There was the SOM open mic at the Rebel Bite pizzeria, The Library Coffeehouse, Blacklight District Lounge and Makai Coffee.

Now if I wasn't feeling the LA scene that week, I had the option to hit some mics in my neighborhood. Rebel Bite, Makai, and The Library were just a mile away. Long Beach was also calmer. I could do longer sets- I did my first 15 minute set at Rebel Bite. I met some nice people. It's funny how these two coffee shops were the polar opposite in terms of an audience--take a look below.

I was also hearing some positive feedback for a change. Sometimes my conceptual ideas would play well and even if they didn't, I'd still be writing the kind of stuff I wanted to try. The support I was getting from my new friends gave me the confidence to try bigger ideas. Showing up to mics and finally having a group of friends to talk to was a nice break. I was so used to being the creeper that was eavesdropping outside a circle of comedy nerds or asking Dean Delray stupid questions in the Comedy Store hallway. Complimenting comics on their podcasts, or a joke that I liked, thinking I always had to go in with a compliment or they'd hate my guts. Then I would fuck up their name anyway, which made the compliment null and void.

I'm still learning to relax, but I'm usually amped up whenever I'm in Los Angeles. I feel the cutthroat competition and that air of judgement. Mostly because I'm carrying it around with me--turn that shit off Wurst, these are your friends! I don't have to prove anything to these comics, we're all showing up to the same mic. Charles Disney was just saying how we ask questions that we want to be asked in return,

"You got any cool gigs coming up? No? NOW ASK ME IF I HAVE ANY COOL GIGS! THANK YOU, I DO! SLEEPAWAY CAMP BABY-MARGARET CHO HEADLINING! ENJOY YOUR SHOW AT P.F. CHANG'S, YA ASIAN FUSION COMIC! "

There's usually 4-5 standard questions (How you doing, got anything coming up, you hitting another mic after this, you ever go to Marty's?) and if there's no conversation beyond that, we're not really friends. It's just surface level pleasantries for insecure comics.

Then there are just genuinely great dudes like Spencer Kalendar, who's never putting on airs and makes me feel like I can just be myself. I think the very first thing he said to me was,

"I remember you from Kill Tony, you're the pedophile guy!"

[captainhufflepuff501-blog]

This is so canon in my eyes

aroace sonic: *says the most flirty shit ever* also aroace sonic seconds later: *does a backflip of the couch and almost lands on his face* literally anyone: wtf.

He’s got the range

(Aroace Sonic compliments pt 4)