#DUNNO WHAT ITS CALLED CAUSE I CANT’ REMEMBER THE WORD BUT IT’S HIM

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

aroace sonic: *says the most flirty shit ever* also aroace sonic seconds later: *does a backflip of the couch and almost lands on his face* literally anyone: wtf.

He’s got the range

(Aroace Sonic compliments pt 4)

[fictionfixations]

dick (nightwing) with aventurine's memories

(i dont know if this makes sense at all im tired)

ive been thinking of one of the batbros with memories of aventurine because. okay so yknow birdwatchers the discord server. i took a word cause its my birthday word (which is starting to be soon) but the original idea i had for it isnt getting the brainworks going so i wanted to mix it with my recent fixation which is aventurine (well actually hes starting to get a little old since ive been sitting on this idea for awhile but hHH)

but THEN i felt like i actually had a decent idea so now im sharing it to you because. i dunno. i dont really feel like i can do it justice? write it well??? (itd be my first hsr work LMFAO)

so uh. spoilers for dick's backstory, as well as 2.1 penacony. ALSO Danganronpa 2 because comparisons (also that anime with dr2 cast i dont remember the name)

aventurine as dick (slowly getting memories over time) (like child. kakavasha. teen/adult, aventurine.)

his luck has him notice the tampering of the wire whatever it was called that led to his parents death. he tries to tell them, they dont believe him. hes lucky enough to be the survivor. (think… you know that one oracle i think apollo blessed/cursed?? cant remember if it was first blessed but then something happened and then cursed or if it was at the same time. she could tell the future except no one would ever believe her.)

he has memories of space travel. of people outside in space. hes shocked to find theres no interaction of the IPC here, theres been no sign of life outside of this planet 'Earth' (..and was it really such a strange thought to imagine that 'aliens' could look just the same as them..? he wrinkled his nose at the ugly green thing with wide eyes. it was unnerving.)

he finds signs of a 'space enjoyers!' or whatever club and he goes and they're just like 'what are you talking about? its all just. fiction.. even we know that.'

i cant remember what year it takes place in and if the moon landing has happened yet (or what year hsr is in but i imagine far far in the future)

I dont really know how aventurine's luck works. and. i. honestly have not been paying too much attention throughout the story. my one exception was penacony, aventurine was the SOLE reason i paid attention in penacony ive only played up to 2.1 (thats not because he faked his death, its more that my recent-est fixation now is fanfiction because penacony has so much stuff going on it hurt my brain that i took a break) cause hes lucky but he gets. branded.. maybe its like nagito's but his is confusing too? (nagito is the ultimate lucky student in danganronpa 2, which is basically a talent that person has)

remember in the anime i think he got hit by a truck or something. or maybe that was after. he got hurt, went to like the vending machine, it dropped all of its drinks for him (so good luck), and then maybe it was after he got hit by a truck. uh

no it was a car (sorry im too used to truck-kun LMFAO) actually wait it was a truck somehow i only saw the head and thought 'huh thats a normal car' my dumbass

... truck.

ALSO i cant remember if he was trying to intentionally do something. but. i. remember he was trying to get like a medicine(???) something something. i dont remember why. but it was either he grabbed the wrong one or he grabbed the right one, EXCEPT he bumped into someone so their bags switched. so that meant

i REMEMBER NOW. OKAY OKAY. i think he grabbed the one that was meant to i think cause you. to. maybe. poop more? IDFK i forgot it was something that made someone ill probably. (cant remember his intention and if his luck turned him to the wrong one)

but so he bumped into someone and they switched bags accidentally. so she added what he got into the food mixture (which was meant to make them big and poofy) which made the judges not happy

meanwhile i think there was an enlarged animal...

dont ask me what happens after i have no clue if that was accurate since this is very edited but i couldn't find a better video but so he was trying to make his classmates ill i guess. but he got the wrong thing

to be fair the girl he bumped into and caused to fail was also kind of a bitch i think so i mean... (YEAH she is i went through the wiki)

so i kind of went off topic (i havent talked about danganronpa in so long)

maybe its like a set meter. like. experience a certain amount of bad luck and then get tremendously good luck (but you dont get to choose when probably)

which wouldnt be the same if aventurine had never lost? unless its like his big loss and trauma and er slavery (i feel like i should be using lighter words but i dont know lighter words for this kind of thing)

and for every win of a bet its using up very small amounts of luck (and thus his winning streak). (although probably not. i havent been able to see why hes fortunate in some places and unfortunate in others but that might be because i also haven't been thinking about it too hard)

in which case. i wonder. what was his intention in his 'death'? to permanently die, or to fake his death? cause it could drastically change the meaning.

cause yknow how nagito kermit sewer slide-d because he wanted the 'traitor' i think to win? (by basically making one of the other students be the one to have killed him so they wouldnt be able to win guessing who did it unless by pure chance) except his luck backfired on him and the one who ended up having killed him was the traitor, which WAS able to be figured out and thats how they survived

so was it something like that? where he wanted to die but his luck decided at that moment to just not? i wonder.

i havent even MADE it to penacony in game though (ive watched other ppl play) im like to the quest to where youre about to go to it but im too anxious to start. on the other hand i did the quest with topaz in jarilo(? Im SO BAD with names)

but i dont really know what the ipc does and if theyre well known. but im basing it off what topaz said (with a lot of skepticism cause aventurine)

so anyway thats my half-baked idea.

[angrelysimpping]

I asked my wife Bunni to describe the characters I write for based off me info dumping to her about them. My other wife, Raven (not whitney's-pet) was also on the call and made some commentary.

Alex: I don't... I don't know *laughter* you haven't said enough about Alex, I think. And if you did he wasn't relevant enough. Well, maybe you don't thirst after him enough for me to remember who he is. I don't get a negative vibe from him. So, I don't know. Now I wanna know who is Alex?

Avery: So, I have to know, cause you know how I am with names, is Avery the sugar daddy one? 'Cause I have this whole idea of who this sugar daddy is, this whole sugar daddy character. So, the sugar daddy one is the one that makes me think he's in the mathletes. Not because he's cool or anything, but because he got roped into it. I think of him as the one on honor roll without even trying. But he makes me think he's super serious and he's like the kinda boyfriend who kinda looks at you and thinks you're cute, but he's not going to say it. He doesn't express it. He's stoic. He'll do it by, I don't know, pat your face or something. He's going to see you crying and slip you a 20 dollar bill and say "this is to wipe your tears." He'll take you to get you chili cheese fries and not necessarily eat them, but he knows it makes you happy. [It is at this point that I realize that I never told Bunni that Avery is old enough to be PC's father. So I did, and she mock screamed.]

Bailey: Bailey? Bailey's an angry kitty. He's not angry, he's grumpy. He's a grumpy baby. He's like "yeah I guess I like you," he doesn't say this he thinks it, "yeah, I guess I like them." Gets angry if you go outside when it's raining without a sweater. Age wise, I don't know anything about his character. I don't. But he gives me very I don't know its not indecisive, I cant think of the word, I cant think of the word, but he's your accidental dad. You know that relationship dynamic where its the chaotic one and he's the rock. Snarky. An ass.

Eden: Is Eden, is Eden, is Eden, wait what gender is Eden? Wait it doesn't matter, right? Okay, um, Eden is I don't know. A mountain spirit. That's it. I dunno. You're a wandering elf in the forest and he's just there with hot coco and you're like "Santa?!" I feel like Eden's not an ass. I don't know if Eden is a bad person. You don't talk about Eden enough. I feel like you discriminate against characters. You have favorites. To sum up Eden: they are a forest succubi. Done. They lurer you in. They say "come live with me amongst the trees" and you're like "fuck yeah" and then you realize he's an elf and you're stuck there forever.

Great Hawk: Okay, so, gimme a second. So in Rick and Morty [Me: I don't like where this is going] there is, there is that one bird man creature, do you know who I'm talking about? That is Great Hawk. I feel bad that I don't know enough about Great Hawk but I honestly, I feel like the name is enough. I don't need to know more about Great Hawk. He like an eldritch horror that my mind cannot compered. He is outside my realm of comprehension.

Kylar: Oh my god, so, you know those little chihuahuas that go inside of bags? That look like they're going to piss themselves when you go "hi little baby?" That's him. Like, to elaborate further. Chihuahuas are a fucking nightmare, right? But they're also so tiny. So, if they clip onto your ankle it hurts like a fucking bitch and they get so fucking upset if you invade their space and the people they allow in their space but they're easily managed. You can punt that fucker [Raven: We don't condone animal violence. Just chihuahuas. They're not animals] They're eldritch beings beyond our comprehension.

Leighton: Who is who? Leighton? Leighton? A whole ass bitch. A whole ass bitch. Done. I have no other words. That's it. Because you've never spoken about Leighton, but their name makes them a whole ass bitch.

Remy: International harvester! Remy gets bitches and if he doesn't, if they don't come to him, he finds them. [Raven: that doesn't sound kosher] Oh, Remy is not kosher. At all. That’s his motto. Kosher free since '93 [Me: 93?] What, did you want me to say 83? How old is he? Wait, I don't wanna know. Who am I to say an old man can't run a farm.

Robin: Um, Robin? Is Robin the book nerd? No, he's not the book nerd. He’s very sad and self sufficient and if I had to use one word I'd say melancholy. Isn't Robin in the orphanage with you? Robin is an orphan. [Me: Is that all you got for Robin] I, I, okay, I feel like Robin gives that older sibling vibe where like, it's a very specific type of older sibling where it's like "Yeah, you're kinda an idiot, and yeah, I have to help you, and I have to be nice to you, but it's not because it's in my nature. It's because you make me kinda sad." Robin is helping because Robin is like "who else i gunna help you, this is kinda sad." Like, he sees a crying kid and looks around and there's no adults and he's like "goddamnit." Jaded. That's what Robin is.

Sydney: Sydney's the new one right? The one everyone's in love with? Sydney's the final girl! Um, wasn't, wait, is Sydney the one you were connecting to religious trauma? Wait, no, is Sydney, wait there's not Jekyll and Hyde character, is there? Or is there a Jekyll and Hyde route? Is that Sydney?

Whitney: Oh, Whitney, let me tell you about Whitney. I'm sorry I can't discuss Whitney due to an NDA I signed. We're currently in the middle of a court case. I'm not allowed to discuss. I have no known connections to Whitney. Who is Whitney? All I have to say is, um, female Whitney is superior in every single way. Male Whitney is complete and utter trash. But, you know, being a garbage man is a career and all I'm saying is that its an honorable profession. I'm thinking of a career change.

Wren: The love of my life. I don't care if he treats me bad. Imma keep coming back, baby. [Me: Is that all for Wren] Do I have to say more [Me: No I just need to know] That's between me and him! I'm just, I'm just saying, I have a thing for bad boys and it's very apparent.

[daaziscoolbesties]

[REPOST] MY 2K WORD COMMENTARY/ANALYSIS OF RANBOO’S LORE STREAM

‼️‼️This post contains lore spoilers from Ranboo’s 4/23 stream, “The Enderwalk Saga. Chapter 1: The Lessons”. If you haven’t seen that stream don’t read ahead unless you want spoilers‼️‼️

disclaimer: this isnt really an analysis as much as a bunch of commentary and half-baked theories.

-on the way to the mansion he was sort of talking to himself saying stuff like "i'm good i'm good" which m a y be a normal thing but also maybe it's not and it flew over our heads cause he talks to chats and donos like that so often

-again, this one may just be a normal thing but when he was climbing up the stairs in the mansion looking for foolish, he repeats some of his words like down to the exact same tone of voice and everything. 12:42,  "this mansion is way too big actually. this mansion is way too big actually." (why the repeated actually? seems odd to me but again it might just be a normal thing that i haven't picked up on). (right after) "okay okay lemme find him lemme find him" again repeated words in the e x a c t same tone.

-does everyone know about ranboo's silk touch hands ability thing? or was that just a techno and ranboo main character moment. bc if it was, how would foolish know that ranboo could pick up the full cake after it'd been partially eaten. unless everyone on the sever knows about that in which case this means nothing. but if they d o n t know... how would foolish know? ranboo wrote about it in the do not read book so maybe if it's not a publicly known thing maybe foolish got his hands on the book and read it??

-14:53-ish, they're talking about the war room and how it was for tubbo or whatever and ranboo says, and i quote "he prepares for lore but he's never gonna do it." now funny thing is at first i couldn't tell if he said "war" like in reference to the war room or "lore". but after playing the clip over and over i can say with ALMOST 100% certainty that he said lore. there is a definite L sound at the beginning of the word. which either means a) this was a slip up (doubtful bc he said later that there were no mistakes), b) he broke the fourth wall because they were supposed to be rping at that point, or c) i'm completely wrong and he said "war" which leads down an entire other road of possibilities

-15:17 "are you a book reader?" "*checks inventory for do not read book* uh yeah i'd say i'm a book reader-" dunno how i didn't catch this the first time I HATE THAT DAMN BOOK

-15:18 there's blue in his hotbar. where did he get the blue.

-16:40 "it's like a metaphor- i have two minds: i have my normal self, my normal little shift-dancing self, and then the builder one. the builder one is demanding. it's a very demanding mind." ranboo then lets out a weird sigh after this. i feel like what foolish was talking about was an indirect(?) parallel to ranboo in and out of enderwalk, there's how he normally is, trying to do best for others, and then there's enderwalk, meeting up with bad guys and "demanding" things (its very late as i write this i really don't know what i'm talking about)

-17:11 "you have your panic closet" i'm sorry his what now 😀 no but seriously how the hell did i miss some of these

-18:04 "you're asking me if i remember?" very funny ranboo thank you for making jokes in these trying times

-18:25 WHY DID HE GET OUT THE AXE WHEN STARING AT THE BEE

-19:38 why did foolish hold the grass block- most of these observations probably mean nothing but- h u h - is that- i'm too tired for this

-19:54 "i never properly thanked you for the deal you made with me" so foolish got something out of this deal, we're not sure if ranboo did. "the green cardboard box" again do you mean dream's house- but seriously the only people i can think of on the server that are associated with green are dream and sam. and i have no idea what cardboard box could be referring to.  foolish got a lime colored shulker from drista

-20:30 "we're supposed to only talk about it at a certain location" hmm now where would that be? panic room maybe? cause like usually after doing a big thing in the enderwalk state ranboo wakes up in the panic room so maybe?  the deal was that they only talk about it in his house

-21:52 how does ranboo receive(?) the lessons? like are they whispered to him in his mind or is he seeing them as words in front of him like we see? hmm

-"Lesson 14: If you have the opportunity to gain a favor, take it." "gain a favor" don't you usually ask people for favors though? how does one "gain a favor"? anyways i'm pretty sure lesson 14 has to do with the deal foolish was talking about. (the deal explained because i now have info: at some point a bit ago foolish met up with ranboo and asked to make a deal, he'd gotten a shulker box from drista. the deal was that ranboo would have ownership of the box, it would be under his name but foolish rents/borrows it indefinitely. ranboo negotiated that if he took ownership of the box he would get a "war favor"  from foolish where if something happens that creates sides, ranboo can ask him a favor that could change his side. but why would foolish want ranboo to have ownership of the shulker you may ask? well i have an answer for you. a theory actually but still. basically since drista technically isn't supposed to give out shit on the server if someone where to have that stuff then they may get in trouble. foolish wants to be able to use the shulker but if it gets found he doesn't want to get in trouble, so he can blame it on ranboo seeing as it's under his name.)

-22:16-ish "i still have this from when you *can't understand whats said here*" well i guess that sort of explains why he had the grass block? idk man (info update: he had the grass block from when ranboo threw it at him telling him to calm down like what ghostbur does with blue)

-31:35 "i figured out how to cause it" how to cause the enderwalk state

-38:30 "ninety three lessons" I STILL DONT KNOW WHY HE KEPT SAYING NINETY THREE AND NOT NINETY FOUR AND ITS DRIVING ME CRAZY LMAO

-39:01 "it's all for the greater good" okay well when are you gonna start thinking about yourself and not everyone else for once huh. self care bitch.

-40:31 he started holding the axe when he was looking at sam- gonna say it i really don't like that axe ahahah- WAIT A DAMN MINUTE THE AXE IS NAMED "axe of ender" I DONT LIKE THAT I DONT LIKE THAT AT ALL

-41:53 is there something?? physically keeping him from telling sam??? or maybe it's sort of like his enderwalk state taking control to make him shut the fuck up??? so many questions and approximately zero answers

-43:18 ranboo raising his voice legitimately scares me 😀👍

-"Lesson 27: Do not reminisce on what you have lost for it will weigh you down." showed up when he was thinking about and REMINISCING about the community house 👀👀

-"Lesson 53: Never fully trust anyone." showed up literally after he said that he thinks he can trust the other people on the server enough to tell them about what he did

-"Lesson 67: Leave no evidence of what you have helped with." this is different from the others because there doesn't seem to be at least a semi-direct connection to it? unless maybe at the time ranboo was near something he may have "helped with"? not sure about this one

-"Lesson 94: DO NOT LET THEM KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE DONE" yeah yeah i get it i get it he's fucked up some shit in enderwalk i don't feel like analyzing this thanks

-OH OH NOTICE HOW HE SAYS "REMEMBERING" WHEN THE LESSONS SHOW UP. IMPLYING THAT THIS ISNT A NEW THING, ITS HAPPENED BEFORE AND NOW HES REMEMBERING IT. MAYBE HE WROTE DOWN THE LESSONS WHEN HE WAS IN ENDERWALK AND NOW THAT HES BEEN EXPERIMENTING ITS BEEN EASIER FOR HIM TO REMEMBER THOSE ENDERWALK MEMORIES

-okokok the experiments are that he's been e x p e r i m e n t i n g on how to purposefully induce the enderwalk state. and we know now that it wasn't from the pain of the water because on the stream afterwords he said that it's caused by the intense fear of something happening. and so the "side effects" of the experiments is that since he's in enderwalk more often(?) he starts remembering more things from it

-OH MY GOD WAIT "there is a reason sam, there's so many reasons, theres ninety three of them" (44:47) WHAT IF EVERY LESSON IS TIED TO A QUOTE UNQUOTE "reason" THAT RANBOO THINKS HES A BAD PERSON/NEEDS TO BE LOCKED UP BUT HE SAYS NINETY THREE INSTEAD OF NINETY FOUR BECAUSE THE NINETY FOURTH LESSON DOESNT HAVE A REASON YET/HE DOESNT REMEMBER IT HAVING A REASON

-dude honestly the whole sam part hurts so much this man is scarily good at acting

-46:46 "i cant put you in the prison you wouldn't be able to see michael anymore" bestie that's the point he doesn't want to accidentally hurt michael or tubbo in the enderwalk state—

-okay but there's no way that sam couldn't tell that ranboo was at least TRYING to confess to something- i feel like he definitely knows more than he's letting on because usually like when people do bad shit or admit to doing bad shit he's like in Prison Guard Mode™️ (he literally cut off ponk's arm because he stole some keycards or something) and whatever and idk what he knows but he definitely knows something and is trying to protect ranboo. or he's trying to manipulate him or smth either one works—

-50:38 "you are a good person" "i am?" you can hear my heart shatter. "yes you are" "i don't think so sam" "i do, even if you don't" "i really don't think so" and there it goes again

-51:25 hello badboyhalo i see you to the left of ranboo

-52:44 "but then my curiosity got the best of me" curiosity killed the cat, bitch

-52:54 "there's ninety three, ninety four, ninety- theres so many reasons!" SEE!! NOT ONLY ARE THERE THAT MANY LESSONS THERE ARE REASONS THAT CORRESPOND IM S O SMART—

-52:56 "i don't want to remember anymore!" *quietly brings forth my theory that when ranboo loses a canon life his memory gets wiped*

-53:13 "ive opened pandora's box" isn't the prison?? literally called pandora's VAULT??? so this m a y be a stretch but i'm thinking that maybe this could be taken in the literal sense that he "opened" the prison and let dream out (the sirens at the end of quackity's stream confirm that dream is indeed out)

-53:42 mans just straight up walked through a ghost i—

-55:37 so are we just gonna ignore the eleventh page of the book? "he's alive, but hopefully soon dream won't be"??? alright nevermind it's most likely bc when tommy came back he recruited ranboo in his plan to kill dream

-55:47 notice how he writes "what am i?" as opposed to "who am i?" no elaboration here idk what it could be

-56:08 just so it's clear for anyone who doesn't know- he's wearing armor at this point, and i'm like 90% sure that when he wears his armor water can't hurt him. and i saw someone say somewhere that like with splash potions when thrown it turns into a gas-like thing? so again, it didn't hurt him, he didn't get hurt. he said in the chill stream that he wasn't comfortable making it where his character had to hurt himself to do that. the thing that causes the enderwalk isn't pain, it's intense and sudden emotions like fear and stress. thank you for coming to my tedtalk.

[urmomification]

WOOO POG DREAM SMP AU

theres 1.8k words and 9,393 characters of a schlatt au below the cut LMAO

[i was rambling to my friend and this is what came out of it! send me an abt it if u have questions i would love to talk abt it more pls]

(slight body horror/gore tw!!)

slams fists on table rattling any dishes on the table au where schlatt doesnt die of a heartattack and tubbo locks him up to rot basically and his horns grow into his eyes effectively blinding him and chained his hands together and basically a leash on him to keep him from moving around in his cell so he cant do anything to break the horns off before they get too long and one day when technos breaking into lmanberg he gets chased into the prison and loses them in the halls before coming across schlatts cell and schlatts calling out like 'whos there i can hear ur foot steps whos there please someone whos there' etc yk and technos speechless they thought they executed him to keep him from causing any more problems in the country but this is this is just much worse than anything he even thought theyd do and hes standing in front of schlatts cell just looking at him as if hes imagining it he knew lmanberg was bad but holy fuck they just let this man rot in a cell to the point of his own horns blinding him and giving him no aid or way to ease the pain so he makes himself known and schlatt 'ive never been so happy to see, well, hear an anarchist in my life, its good to see- hear you technoblade' and chuckles and blood runs down his face like tears would, few drops landing on his clothes before techno starts trying to get into the cell to take him out of there he cant leave him here sure he was an anarchist terrorist w a murder record but he had standards and now that schlatt wasnt in power he had nothing against him really considering he isnt a citizen of lmanberg so he manages to pick the locks enough to get him out of there, schlatts arm slung over technos shoulder they stumble out of the prison building and as they slowly make their way to the nether portal to get back to technos base, they run into tubbo and quackity, schlatts old right hand men and they try to stop techno bc hes well an anarchist terrorist w a murder record but the glare techno gives them levels them and theyre left staring at each other for a moment when schlatt 'whyre we stopped whos there tech' and techno mumbles 'tubbo and quackity schlatt' and schlatt just furrows his brows as far as he can without sending excruciating pain into his eye sockets before he purses his lips and asks 'are they going to try and stop us?' techno looks back at the other two 'no they wont, isnt that right boys?' tubbo and quackity slink away allowing techno and schlatt to the portal and them going thru, schlatt still silent as he tries not to trip over technos cape or off the ledge of the bridge passing over the lava lakes, they make it to the portal and begin the walk across the arctic tundra to technos house, philza isnt there right now so its just the two of them and techno leads him up the ladder to his room (its not really a room i think its just a bed, a bell and an enchantment table) and sits him down on his bed mumbling something abt being right back and he is with some medical supplies and a change of clothes to clean everything up, they dont talk techno works in silence and when schlatt winces he mumbles a small apology before continuing eventually techno got schlatt as cleaned up as you can get someone w horns in their eyes and a sweater to keep him warm and finally starts asking questions 'how long had u been in there' 'lost count' 'did they bring you food' 'a chests worth at the beginning of the month' techno sighs 'i thought they executed you' 'tubbo chickened out despite me being 'an active threat to our peace in lmanberg' and locked me up a few days after u set the withers loose and dropped off a chest of food once a month and most of them refused to talk to me others couldnt even make eye contact with me, other than the few instances where they said things like 'heres ur food' or 'u deserve this' or 'i cant believe tubbo let u live' i talked to no one other than myself for however long i was in there' techno stands and walks around for a moment before flipping some pages and schlatt can hear him gasp quietly in mild surprise 'what is it tech' looking in the direction he heard techno from and techno says, turning to face schlatt on his bed 'schlatt that was almost 3 months ago' a single beat of silence rings for what feels like forever 'oh. i, i didnt think itd been that long. though it would explain my current predicament' loosely gesturing towards his face 'oh right abt that i have a few questions if ur ready to answer some' schlatt hums and techno grabs a pen and paper and sits next to him in case he needs to take any notes for future reference 'how fast do ur horns normally grow' 'idk just a steady amount my whole life pretty much' 'will they ever stop growing' 'they generally stop growing around 30 and continue to grow more in width than length' 'did anyone who brought u food notice' 'they grow quickly and by the time the person w the third chest came around they were getting close to my eyes but they didnt listen to me, no one did' he sighs looking down at would be his hands 'the odds of both of my horns growing into my eyes and blinding me like this are so low but of course it would happen to me' a chuckle void of any amusement 'because losing my country and my people and my power wasnt enough already' techno stands up 'you had that coming' schlatt actually laughs this time, short and curt 'ok fair, u were the one that took me down afterall' and from then on schlatt lives w techno and phil and eventually tommy and then without tommy (tommy was Not happy when he found out that schlatt was living with techno but he needed somewhere to stay too and techno happens to live in an arctic tundra where only a handful of people know how to get to so he didnt complain too much) and eventually techno saws off schlatts horns at the bend adn removes them from his eyes bc if they kept growing into his head theyd hit his brain and kill him on top of blinding  him and techno gags and almost throws up despite not being sensitive to gore  and gives schlatt a bandanna to cover the holes in his head for everyones sake and once they heal somewhat he can find something else out and thats how they live, schlatt helps with what he can like farming w phil but mostly spends his time learning braille or something so he can read and techno gets him books in braille so he isnt bored or alone like he was in the prison and he feeds him and takes care of him and schlatt is funny and entertaining despite being blinded by something from his own body and the torture it was like to rot in a cell alone for almost a 1/4 of a year and nights when techno gets home late and hes shaken and the voices are bad schlatt will sit behind him and play with his hair and talk abt his own day and rub technos back and in return when schlatt relapses and gets violent and angry techno will wash his hair and read him stories until he calms down and hopefully asleep and no one told him the news that wilbur died so when ghostbur shows up and starts talking to him he treats him the same as he would wilbur bc he cant see that hes a ghost all thats different is his speech pattern and overall personality and one day he says 'ur different wilbur what happened to that, i dunno spark u used to have' and wilbur simply 'im not sure if im being honest a lot abt me has changed since i died, or so im told i dont remember much from when i was alive' and schlatt just 0_0 and then hes scrambling down the ladder and stumbling around the house looking for techno, finding him in the basement working on something and when he gets there hes out of breath and his hands are shaking bc holy shit wilburs not only dead but a ghost and he was just talking to me and he doesnt remember what i did and and and and techno is shocked to see schlatt in the basement and asks whats up and schlatt just 'wilbur died wilbur fucking died tech why didnt anyone tell him and now hes a ghost hes a fucking ghost who lives in ur house and doesnt remember anything he doesnt remember that he blew up lmanberg does he he remembers my name but not anything that i did what hes a fucking ghost techno hes a ghost holy fuck' and technos just standing there like ??? no one no one told him 'yea philza had to kill him after he blew up lmanberg i thought u knew thats why i didnt say anything' oh. 'phil, phil had to kill him?' 'yea its a touchy subject, dont bring it up' and simply goes back to what he was working on so schlatt sits on the ground by the ladder and listens to him work his brain going a mile a minute trying to comprehend whats going on 'would i have become a ghost if theyd chosen to execute me?' 'its hard to say im unsure if theres specific circumstances that contribuite to someone becoming a ghost but theres really no telling' and goes back to working yet again and from then on they fall into an easy schedule of techno going out and doing whatever an anarchist terrorist w a murder record does on ur average wednesday and schlatt stays home reading and organizing whatever he can based on size and feeling and sleeping in windowsills and schlatt greeting techno comes home beaten up and full of new resources and a side of bruises and cuts so he tends to them, getting better at maneuvering and functioning without needing to see then techno making dinner and then curling up by the fire for the night enjoying each others company as they talk abt their days :]

[skips-is-asleep]

I gotta type fast cause I dont have much time but here's oddly satisfying/stimming stuff i think karkat would love and hate and also solkat stim stuff idk

Karkat's a freak so he'd like eating asmr and mukbangs for sure. He also really likes slime and probably knows all of the different kinds and all the nuances between them and gets REALLY mad when you mix them up. Like “how dare you mistake cloud slime and fishbowl slime, those are complETELY DIFFERENT”

I dunno why but i feel like he'd really like the sound of rocks colliding with each other. Like the sound of brick buildings collapsing too? Does that make sense? Remember how earthbending sounds? That. And fire crackling would be a big favorite of his as well as other nature related sounds like rain, leaves crunching and cicadas that kinda stuff.

Overly repetitive stuff gets on his nerve really quickly, and he frequently only watches tiny clips of videos before going to the next one, rapid firing between videos. 

Audio stims, karkat’s a big audio guy. He talks to himself, almost constantly when alone, full conversations where both halves are outloud and are normal speaking voices, he doesn’t know how to whisper, okay? leave him alone. And particular words. I can’t think of anything off the top of my head, but I think he’d have particular words that he repeats over and over again.

Karkat really likes to DO that activity usually, not just watch it, so videos dont always do it for him. Like he doesn’t like to watch videos of slime as much as he likes playing with slime, ya know?

He really hates bubble wrap and tapping noises, that counts as repetitive and annoying.

I don’t  have any justification for this, but I feel like he wouldn’t like metal sounds? Like no one likes the sound of metal chairs scrapping against the floor, but what about can’s crushing? a metal objects clattering against the floor? Wind chimes? Metal against glass clicking, it just annoys and upsets him.

The only exception to this is things getting destroyed. Karkat likes 1000 degree knife, hydrolic press, whatever that little mechanical shredder thing is

I cant find what im talking about, but its a machine that looks like that and people throw things into it to watch it get crushed. And things like kinetic sand getting cut into a bunch of tiny pieces. He just has to watch it on mute.

Anything, and I mean anything to do with needles. Karkat cried like the bitched bitch when he got his ears pierced. He has big trypophobia too so he can’t look at his ears without earrings in because the hole freaks him out. This will sometimes contradict his love of slime, cause sometimes the air pockets will freak him out a lot, but he just changes the video very fast and he’s good.

He’s also the kind of person who’s very very particular about word pronunciation. If you click your K’s with a little too much emphasis, you’ll see him jolt a little.

I dunno what it’s called, but he likes to draw on himself too, like the feeling of markers on his skin a lot. He’ll let Terezi cover his whole arms with little swirls and shapes just because it feels nice.

He doesn’t indulge in it himself at all, but he is enamored by nail art because it is just So Tiny and So Precise. And Hydrodipping, i think.

We’re gonna get into solkat territory, turn back now or forever be lost to the witch’s curse.

Karkat cannot STAND being around Sollux when he’s typing or gaming, either on his phone or computer. He either has to be out of the room or playing something loud in the background. Sollux is just too fast of a typer and tapper and it makes him vibrate into another dimension.

I don’t wanna pull up sollux’s post, but I think sollux would stim with tapping on tables, bouncy leg, pen clicking, foot tapping, snapping fingers, etc., and it drives Karkat so fucking batshit, cause that’s right up there with annoying repetitive noises and is by far the most Fought About Thing between them.

Sollux really likes listen to Karkat talk to himself. It’s like talking to karkat without putting in any effort, and karkat is very often talking about something that sollux doesn’t even have any input or opinion on anyway, so he’s glad karkat has someone to talk to about the things he likes.

Karkat also, when things get a little too quiet, and he has a score to settle, will lull sollux into a false sense of security. It’s quiet, comfy, nothing really going on, and then KK sneakily pulls out his phone and puts on eating asmr and Sollux’s loses his shit so fucking fast, it should be the world record for losing one’s shit.

Karkat cant stand when something is dirty or messy or untidy, and also finds it cathartic and deeply therapeutic to clean things, and Sollux likes having things clean, but doesn’t like to clean things. Sollux sees it as a Win-Win, but Karkat is ever so slowly inching to letting Sollux’s mess take over their living space and letting them both fall into complete maddness.

ooh my god this is so long, okay im gonna go this is way outta hand, you guys indulge me too much

[godoftorture]

After the terrifying experience in my father’s study me and Evenki headed to my personal chambers to plan our next steps. Luckily, I remembered to take the secret rout to my room so that none of the servants spotted Evenki.

Théoden: Closing my bedroom door I sighed in relief, “Don’t worry about being found here, my presence is potent enough to mask your signature.”

Evenki: "My question is more of what ill find down there.." I see an visible smirk form on her lips.

Theodin: "Under my bed..?" I ask, i still dont know what she meant by that to this day.

Evenki: "Ah... no.."

I sat on the edge of my bed and rested my head in my hands. We weren’t able to find anything. Not with the short amount of time we were in there. I let out a loud groan,

Théoden: “I hate to say it but there is only one way that I can think of that will get us information on how to get you home.”

Evenki: “How’s that?”

Théoden: “I going to have to summon The Fates. They’re the only ones who would be willing to tell me anything and are the only ones even remotely reliable enough not to tell my Father about it.” I let out another deep sigh,

Théoden: “There are few small issues with this, though. The Fates are fickle beings, they might not even answer my summons, or if they do, they may or may not ask for your soul in return.”

Evenki: "You say that in assumption that i even have a soul." she snickers softly.

I roll my eyes in response.

Théoden: “Then there’s the fact that your mortal and any being in the Underworld would smell your soul for miles away. And on top of that the biggest challenge we face is getting pass the Furies’. They reside in the Fields of Punishment, which is where we need to go and if they get one look at you, your dead. They won’t ask any questions, as soon as they recognize you as mortal; as my mother would say ‘Your ass is grass’.”

Evenki: "That's such a dad thing to say." she mumbles under his breath, "So how exactly do you plan to keep my.. scent or whatever from existing."

I walk over to my desk and pull out one of my spare necklaces.

Théoden: “Here, take this. It’s one of my death charms, it should have enough power in it to make you look like a lesser deity.”

Théoden: “It will be enough to let you walk around the realm without being recognized. I should also get you a change of clothes.”

Evenki: "Well if im changing you cant be in here."

After Evenki got changed, I beckoned him to follow me through the palace. Unfortunately, we don’t have time for a tour, and I rush us to the stables.

Théoden: “The way to The Fields of Punishment is too far for any mortal to walk. So, we will take some steeds.”

And by steeds, I mean 12 large, black, flaming horses that pull the chariots of my father, mother and myself. They are truly magnificent creature even by godly standards. I glance over to Evenki to get her reaction, and I’m not disappointed. Her mouth is agape and she seemed to be in awe.

Théoden: “All right, let’s get moving.” I say in what Evenki described as 'Terminator esque'.

The ride to the Fields of Punishment went by uneventful, thank the gods. We did get stopped by a few patrolmen and deities who wanted to offer me their best wishes. Thankfully, my necklace did what I intended it to do and Evenki was not recognized.

Théoden: “Alright, are you ready? We must make it to the upper section of Punishment. The Fates like it in there because of the humidity, they say it's good for their arthritis. Unfortunately for us its where some of the worst people to have lived reside.

Evenki: She bites her lip softly, "Thats rough buddy"

Théoden: “It’s also about and hours walk. I have to warn you now that what you might see could potentially mentally scar you forever and temperatures are hotter than the surface of Apollos ass.”

Evenki: "I dunno my uncle seems to have done that job quite nicely.

Théoden: “Don’t worry I’m sure my necklace will make it feel like a cool night’s breeze.”

Evenki: "Well lets just hope the girls don't get perkyyy" she says as she exaggerates the t's and stretches out the word perky.

Théoden: “Alright let us get going. We will have to take it slow because I’m not sure where the Furies like to patrol.”

To say I’m nervous is an understatement. In fact, I am terrified, the Fates already give me the chills, but the Furies are downright terrifying. While they have always been... pleasant if you can call it that to me, I have witnessed their wrath and it is not fun. If they get one good look at Evenki, they will kill him and drag me back to my father. And while the premised of getting a beating from my father is scary enough, the thought of Evenki’s pretty face being covered in blood and watching the life drain from her eye is something that causes a pain in my chest and unknown feelings to surface.

I try to navigate us through the tamer sections of the Fields of Punishment, but the cries and screams of agony are still load in my ears. While I am used to this, I’m sure Evenki isn’t doing to well.

Théoden: “Hey, how are you holding up?”

[ER]

Théoden: I motion for Evenki to move closer, “Here stay close to me, if you see something that’s to much just close your eyes and lean into me”. I tug her closer and grip her hand.

Not even 30 minutes go by before I hear the familiar cry of a Fury.

Théoden: “Quickly, behind that stone!”

I pull Evenki towards a large piece of molten rock and crouch behind it.

Théoden: “Stay quiet”, I whisper.

A few tense minutes go by. I can hear the flapping of wings and the shrieking cries of the Furies. After another few minutes of silence, I take a step out from behind the rock.

Théoden: “Okay, I think they’re gone”. At that moment I felt a crashing weight hit me with enough force to send me flying into the side of a mountain. Pain exploded from my back and legs.

The thing I dreaded most rings out over the moaning of tortured souls.

Furies: “MORTAL!!!”

That has me pulling my body out of the rubble quicker then I have never moved before. I get to Evenki just in time of block a blow heading straight for her head.

Fury: The Fury growls at me, “Mortals are not supposed to be here, why are you protect one?”

Théoden: “I have my reasons, let us go!” I manage to block another sword attack heading aimed at Evenki’s side.

No other words are spoken as I try and block each blow aimed to kill Evenki. After a few minutes I can feel my body slow down, more and more hits land on me. I’m starting to lose blood. I have to use my last resort, dodging the next swipe of the Furies swords I manage to get in close and grab a hold of the furies face. Forcing her to look me in the eyes I activate one of my powers I hate.

The Fury screams and screams and screams. Like nothing I’ve ever heard before. After another moment she collapse to the ground.

I can barely look at her.

Théoden: “Quickly, we don’t have much time before she wakes up”. I grab Evenki and lift her into my arms.

Théoden: “It will be quicker this way.” I start to sprint the last few miles to the Fates favorite resting spot.

Wordlessly I set Evenki down and start writing ancient Greek symbols into the ground, I use my own blood for added dramatics.

Théoden: “Hear my call O wise ones, for I have need of your wisdom. Please, head my summons and answer my call!”

Silence follows my chant. And not so long after that the ground begins to shake. Three old women stood before us.

The Fates: “Well look at what we have here. Two young boys on their knees for us.” They crown in unison.

Evenki decides right now is the perfect time to crack jokes,

Evenki: "Actually if i wanted to be on my knees for anybody it wouldn't be for you."

Boys? Plural? I look at Evenki, if I wasn’t so tired, I would be shocked but instead I turn back to the Fates.

Théoden: “Please Wises ones, I need to get this mortal back to the human realm, would you please tell me how I can send her… I mean him, back home.” I closed my eyes.

The Fates: “Hmm, yes we knew this time would come. They only way for you to get the human boy back to the mortal realm is to escort him through Olympus and send him down the cage of metal.”

The Fates: “As you are not old enough to command Chiron sending him back through the Underworld would be impossible.” As they spoke each passed back an eye from one sister to the next.

Théoden: “What is it that you require of me? What do you want in return for this information?” I asked, hoping they weren’t feeling frisky today.

With that question the earth began to tremble, and a load roar could be heard from miles away.

Théoden: “Shit, that’s my father!” I yelled in alarm.

The Furies must have informed him of the fight I had with one of them

Fates: The Fates cackled, “We require nothing dearie, all we want is to annoy your father”. The laughed again and with a snap of their fingers me and Evenki disappeared with a pop.

Evenki: "Jeeze, old bags of shit--" I hear Evenki mutter under his breath.

[violentviolette]

@starrystarberry tumblr fucked up and deleted ur ask cause i tried to switch over from mobile to my laptop to answer it so im just making a post lol

also it got a little long so i stuck it under a read more for u guys who arent into seeing fandom stuff on here

oh man okay I'll try to not write a novel for each of these lmfao

Lucio

Why I like them: hes a cocky bastard but also a giant idiot

Why I don’t: theres actually nothing I don't like about him akshsgsj like yea I know he imprisoned Asra's parents and made him an orphan at like 6 and everything but who hasnt made a mistake or two in their life?

Favorite season/movie: from what we have of his route so far I really like book 9: the hermit. it's got a lot of good hurt/comfort and that's my shit

Favorite episode (scene if movie): I'm a sucker for the steamy scenes so probably the makeout session in the winter woods

Favorite line: honestly all of them anything out of lucios mouth is gold

OTP: ME lmfao but no for real the mc in the game i dont think lucio is right for any of the characters even if i do ship him and julien for the angst

Favorite outfit: i actually really love his piratey outfit he wears in the flashbacks before he lost his arm.

Brotp: Julien 100%

Head Canon: i dont really have any for him

Unpopular opinion: Lucio is a switch and a service top the only True Top in this game is Nadia and i will die on that hill

A wish: none really, im happy with his route and where its been going and im excited to see the end of it!

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: I really hope his reverse ending is something other than him dying

5 words to best describe them: angry bratty baby boy

My nickname for them: baby boy

Light Yagami

Why I like them: cause he was one of the first really good protagonists whose actually the villian of the story and i love that shit

Why I don’t: Light drinks his own cool aid and is way to arrogant and i cant stand that. hes very much a holden caufield type character and i absoutely hate those

Favorite season/movie: i liked the anime but i only watched it once when it was airing and i never saw any of the movies so i dont know.

Favorite episode (scene if movie): same as above, this is making me think i should toss it in my que and do a rewatch. hmmm

Favorite line:ah man, i dont actually remember any but im sure its something gay

OTP: Light x a therapist

Favorite outfit: doesnt he only have one? that ugly ass tan suit or some variation of? lol

Brotp: light & ryuuk i loved their dynamic

Head Canon: none, i was never super invested enough in death note to have head canons

Unpopular opinion: none that i can think of, tho its probably somthing about misa lol

A wish: none

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: honestly the live action netflix adaptation already exists so like it cant get any worse

5 words to best describe them: someone id never wanna date

My nickname for them: bitch boy

Shaoran Li

Why I like them: omfg i LOVE shaoran cause hes just such a good boy? he tries so hard and he cares so much and he just wants to protect the world and its adorable

Why I don’t: theres genuinely nothing i dont like about Li

Favorite season/movie: while im loving blushy sweet shy Li in the new clear clard arc, i have a soft spot for angry sassy Li who was competing against sakura in season 1

Favorite episode (scene if movie): the episode with the tree and the time card

Favorite line: i dont think i have one

OTP: i mean is this even a question? sakura all the way

Favorite outfit: i lovelovelove his green fighting robes

Brotp: him and tomoyo being #Teamsakura all day every day together is the best thing

Head Canon: none really

Unpopular opinion: what even is an unpopular cardcaptor sakura opinion??

A wish: clear card anime s2 where are u????

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: i dunno, this series never betrays me so i dont have many fears

5 words to best describe them: strong brave and loyal boy

My nickname for them: i like to call him Li tho thats not rly a nickname

Haruka Tennoh

Why I like them: oh man. i was in. fucking. love. with Haruka as a young tiny queer. i love everything about her

Why I don’t: there is nothing not to love

Favorite season/movie: their original appearance arc is my fav so S

Favorite episode (scene if movie): the one in crystal where she kisses Usagi

Favorite line: i mean the obvious one is “does it really matter if im a man or a woman” because enby rights but also i fucking love every bit of sass ridden dialog between her and Seiya

OTP: Uranus and Neptune are soulmates and thats that on that

Favorite outfit: oh man she had so many Iconic Looks but im gonna have to give it to her racing gear.

Brotp: I love her and Mars as brotp’s dont ask me to explain it lol

Head Canon: nothing like substatial or series just stupid/crack personality ones

Unpopular opinion: none i dont think? again i dont even know if ive ever really heard an “unpopular opinion” for her

A wish: more crystal before im 90 pls

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: i mean once again the dub and the cousins sitation already exists so ive lived my nightmare. because framing them as incestuous cousins is somehow better than letting them be gay

5 words to best describe them: a gay enby queen

My nickname for them: my wife

[beesmygod]

this is what riverdale is about (part 6)

part 1

part 2

part 3

part 4

part 5

and now...we come to the end of our journey...the final 4 episodes of the season. who killed jason blossom? you forgot that’s what we were doing, huh. you  were way too distracted by sex archie and the jughead/betty relationship (called ‘bughead’ in universe). 

i have a friend who has been watching riverdale because i have basically tricked him into doing so and frankly, what i am typing here was and is only the surface of this show’s nonsense. as he watched episodes, he reminds me of all the completely bananas shit that this show throws at you literally every second it is on screen and honestly its a relief to know that, as much as i can try to just give you some basic facts, watching the show itself is still a totally different transcendent experience. its really the only show of its kind; shamelessly stupid but unaware of it while openly delighting in all the silliest cliches presented as straight faced as possible. if these write up do anything for you at all, please, please. watch the show. you will be shocked at how much more there is to discover.

images are from the riverdale wiki

---

SEASON 1 (PART 4): 

the lost weekend: this is the one with a very special guest star in it: molly ringwald as archie’s mom! she and fred (luke perry) have been separated for some amount of time for an unknown reason. yay she’s so cute! i love her. oh uh, also they’re getting a divorce. the papers are going through. archie gets the bad news in the middle of a gaming sesh with jughead.

meanwhile, veronica meets with her dad’s lawyer (whose name is paul sowerberry?? he never shows up again despite his unbelievably silly name) and tells him she’s not giving him a good statement as to her father’s character to help him get a lesser sentence. “fuck you dad!” is the general sentiment before she stomps out to go to school.

oh man there’s a weird aspect of this show that i have neglected to mention. this isn’t something i’ve ever experienced in school so it was totally foreign and weird to me but the students have their own lounge that they mingle and talk in...at...some point during the school day?? jughead’s opening monologue of this episode makes great pains to talk about how every moment of their lives are scheduled from 8am to 3pm but there’s apparently plenty of sittin’ time where they can just laze about this random room talking about crimes they have or are going to commit. a great deal of talking happens in this room when usually you’d have to like, sneak a convo while getting shit out of your locker between classes. i dunno, it’s weird. this is where archie tells veronica about clifford blossom sending her dad to jail so he can jack the land everyone is fighting over.

archie and betty make plans to celebrate jugheads birthday by taking him to the movies, which i feel like is in poor taste given his movie house was just destroyed but whatever. with betty coming along it’ll be just like the three muskateers! betty replies “AcTuAlLy ThErE wErE fOuR mUsKeTeErS” and somehow he doesn’t beat her to death with his bookbag right there and then. betty then doubles down on the bad words flowing out of her mouth and proposes they hold a surprise party for jughead since, according to his dad, he’s never had one. i have no idea what would compel her to think he would want this. even i know he doesn’t want this and i only know him through a tv screen. on top of this she goes out of her way to invite his deadbeat alcoholic dad multiple times. i thought she was supposed to be the smart, observant nancy drew type but like...what the fuck betty. jughead does, in fact, get pretty pissed at archie just for telling his girlfriend that he even has a birthday. presumably instead of telling him he emerged fully formed from the leader of the black parade’s forehead.

after finding out from some files that her dad was receiving money monthly from clifford blossom for some unspecified reason before the arrest, veronica challenges cheryl to a dance off and wins. unfortunately, veronica cant come forward with what she knows because it would make it look like her dad put a hit out on jason in retaliation. dance off to relieve the pain.

jughead fucking hates his party and makes sure everyone knows it. this is something NORMAL people do and he is NOT normal!!! he leaves the party in a huff when cheryl shows up to get her dance off revenge by ruining the party by inviting the whole school. this is the episode where he does his famous “im a weirdo, i have a hat” speech, which is deliciously dumb. they get in a fight, while jughead’s dad talks to kevin’s boyfriend (who you will remember is a member of his gang he assigned to keep tabs on the progress of the teens looking into the whole land plot mess) while betty’s mom secretly listens in?!

cheryl activates chaos mode and locks everyone in the house so they can play a game called “secrets and sins” which is really just an excuse for her to ask everyone horrible questions to make them feel bad. veronica accuses cheryl of fucking her brother, dilton doiley tells everyone about grundy’s statutory rape of archie andrews and chuck tells everyone about dark mode betty drugging him for an impromptu bdsm session which causes jughead to go apeshit and try to throw a weak little baby punch. jughead’s dad, as the only adult who for some reason let all this happen, finally throws everyone out and tells them to go home.

archie and veronica sleep together, by which i mean, next to each other in the same room. veronica testifies on her father’s behalf and discloses to betty the link between jugheads dad and the serpents and her dad’s land plot dreams. molly ringwald appears for 20 seconds.

INHALES. OKAY.

to riverdale and back again: its homecoming babey! archie’s very supportive mother has a nice talk with him. :) veronica founds out that her dad only has to serve “a few more months” in prison for his various white collar crimes, further proof that riverdale takes place in america. jughead and his dad have a nice normal breakfast while fp sweats and asks him “hey uh, how come uh you’re writing about the uhhhh murder and investigating it and stuff” like a normal dad would. archie and veronica tentatively agree to start going out. 

penelopy blossom brings polly (betty’s pregnant sister, remember her? i didn’t) a strawberry milkshake in the most ominous way possible. veronica plans to sneakily find out if jughead’s dad is helping her own and for what purpose, ultimately. jughead accepts and invite to betty’s house for dinner, not knowing her mom is going to grill the shit out of him and his dad over the whole kid murder thing.

polly finds the ring jason proposed to her with back in penelope’s room while snooping, and has no idea how it wound up back in the hands of his mother. according to penelope, jason threw it in their face when he renounced his lineage, then gives her another milkshake.

the cooper family event is disrupted when betty, wise to her mother’s horseshit, invites her estranged dad to dinner too. all hell breaks loose when the subject of homecoming comes up and fp reveals that while alice and hal were crowned homecoming king and queen, they got in a knockout, drag-out fight backstage. alice flips out before he can reveal what it was about and betty and jughead flee for the dance. meanwhile archie and veronica try, and fail, to find something incriminating in fp’s trailer.

cheryl discovers the milkshakes are DRUGGED and polly is going to sleep through homecoming. she informs her parents that she has disposed of the ring (evidence) and they dont have to worry about it anymore. you can see where this is going.

jughead’s dad drops a bomb on him right before homecoming that they’re going to move to toledo to meet up with jughead’s mom and baby sister. jughead hates this bc he just got used to betty and he wants to write his murder book.

archie and veronica sing a truly terrible cover of “kids in america” that has to be seen to be believed.

meanwhile, sherrif keller tears up fp’s house with a search warrant and finds the gun that was used to kill jason blossom. WHAAAA??? BUT ARCHIE AND VERONICA JUST SEARCHED IT??? how could this happen.....jughead finds out about the web of deception weaved by the friends and tells them all to fuck off so he can go to toledo with his family. jughead literally turns around and is informed that his dad was just arrested for murder. his life is so hilariously bad.

the sheriff sucks so bad at his job because he tells his gay son everything who then spills the beans to archie and co (sans jughead) who learn that fp is being framed, because they already tossed the place before.

cheryl has the ring. at this point none of these things mean anything.

i cant believe i still have two more of these. i’m going to have to split this post after this one.

anatomy of a murder: as it turns out, archie discovers, information you discover during a breaking and entering won’t hold up in court. oops. meanwhile fp inexplicably confesses to kidnapping jason after his fake drowning at sweetwater river so he could use him as ransom after discovering he heir to all that sweet maple syrup money. according to fp, jason nearly escaped so they cut their losses and blasted a hole in him. he also confesses to torching the car and stealing the sheriff's files (which we, the audience, know hal cooper did, not fp). well. that’s that, i guess.

betty’s dad comes back to the family home to destroy the murderboard evidence all like “whoo hoo! fp took a bullet for me!” hal’s concern and his reason for stealing the files in the first place, as it turns out, was because the feud between the coopers and the blossoms is more complicated than we thought. the coopers WERE blossoms, until grand-pappy was murdered, so they packed their shit and left with a new name. so that makes polly and jason related. cool!

fp apparently used his his last phone call to call kevin’s boyfriend who, after some pressing by the gang, admits that while he didnt see fp pull the trigger, he did help him put jason’s body in a freezer. this tip leads them to the corpse of a serpent who had a sack of money in a monogrammed dufflebag with the initials “h.l.” (hiram lodge). this is a comically dumb move for a crime boss to make. it is shockingly stupid.

joaquin tells kevin about a secret stash he and fp set up before he bounces from town forever because riverdale sucks. in the stash is jason’s jacket. everyone puzzles over what it means until betty, noted brain genius checks the pockets. in it they find a usb drive.

they sit down and watch the usb and react like they’re watching a sad documentary and not a snuff film. betty calls CHERYL OF ALL PEOPLE and tells her what they just saw on the usb. cheryl, queen of chaos, confronts her dad and tells him that everyone knows what he did.

it turns out the video depicts jason tied up in the basement of the whyte wyrm, there the dead serpent watches over him. clifford blossom walks in and blows a hole in his kid. fp confessed to protect jughead, who was threatened by cliff as the heat poured on.

clifford dies surrounded by his greatest love, maple syrup, by hanging himself in the syrup barn. lol

the sweet hereafter: how the fuck is there another episode of this? they solved the murder, what else could there possibly be to do. wtf. anyway.

the cops find hella drugs in the maple barn after clifford’s death. the assumed story is that jason learned about his dad’s heroin smuggling business and threatened to tell the cops on his dad which lead to his abduction, and eventual death. i guess the polly thing is in here too somehow. not important i guess. the lodges prepare for hiram’s arrival. betty and archie are going to be honored by the mayor for cracking the case at the 75th annual jubilee (wtf). hermoine attempts to buy fred out of the project now that the cops are cracking down on the serpents and making them the face of the construction company is now a very bad look.

betty tries to write an article for the town paper about fp being innocent but her parents wont publish it, citing it as a conflict of interest given she’s smooching the subject’s son. jughead FINALLY JUT NOW gets a social worker who realizes that fred has a dui and is not fit to care for a kid. he has to transfer to a new school district...SOUTHSIDE HIGH SCHOOL!!!

cheryl apologizes for throwing hands at jughead in a previous ep and gives him her iconic spider brooch. i am only bringing this up because she says, specifically, that selling it will net him a good amount of hamburgers and “s t-shirts” for years. why is she the only one who notices he only wears one kind of shirt. betty’s article getting published in the school paper leads to the above retaliation.

veronica’s mom honest to god asks her to sexually manipulate archie into convincing his dad to sell the project to her.

betty’s mom, after a confrontation, tells betty abt the fight she and her dad had on homecoming night when they were high schoolers. turns out...alice was pregnant. she gave the baby up for adoption after she went to the sisters of quiet mercy, like she did with polly, even though hal wanted an abortion. betty immediately tells all her friends this shit.

jughead transfers to the new high and flourishes. turns out they’re all baby gangsters there so they look at him and his dad as kings to be admired. when the archie group heads off to go rescue him, it turns out they dont need to do anything. but now that theyre all conveniently together, veronica gets a txt from cheryl saying she’s going to go be with jason....

they rush to the river where cheryl is having her ophelia meltdown in his stupid little river boat dress where she punches through the ice until she falls through. theres no way to describe how silly this scene is unless you see it so i won’t try but its so melodramatic and cheesy that youre going to be amazed that it got through the writing team at all. archie saves her by punching through the ice the other way. from under the ice. you will soon find, that all of archie’s solutions are to punch things.

betty does a speech at the jubilee that convinces fred not to sell. a nice ending for him.

meanwhile cheryl burns her fucking house down for a lark. just for the drama of it all. 

the same night, jughead and betty start to fuck, as do veronica and archie. not int he same room, like totally separately. but jughead is interrupted by the serpents and a dog named hotdog, who give him a jacket of his own so he can join the team. betty is scandalized.

archie goes to meet his father for a breakfast at pop’s chocklit shoppe for a serious talk. but while he’s int he bathroom, a man with a gun is holding up the chocklit shoppe. he demands fred’s wallet, then pops a hole in him and runs off.

and that.........is where this season......ends.

---

thank you for joining me for season 1 of this shitshow. i love this shitty show. if you loved reading about it, or were mortified by whatever the fuck happened here, then you should watch it as well.

i never pass up an opportunity to shill myself, so if you like what i write, drop me a buck or two at my patreon. i do more writing like this, but also i mostly make comics, so make sure to read the page when you’re signing up so you know what you’re getting!

i WILL return...with season...2!

https://www.patreon.com/aghoststory

[armadawathes]

oh wow it has that hot redhead from riverdale in this. madelaine petsch. i think its her lips lol.

shes looking through old stuff from her mom...who maybe is dead? i dunno.

~ x ~

pfft now her friend is being passive aggressive about her not wanting to take a pic in lingerie and posting it i guess (she said some dude liked it) and making the swimsuit comparison. like i hate that, one’s made to be seen by everyone and the other is more personal and private not published anywhere

~ x ~

so the pose she chose for her lingerie shoot (yeah) is so....unsexy. like if its for the guy shes like (i guess) then...sitting in a dark room with your legs crossed and hands on your knees isnt going to do anything...like its a bad pose

~ x ~

and the lighting is super dark. so ugly.

madelaine looks so uncomfortable...and also your not supposed to shake polaroid pictures as it turns out.

what? i didnt remember what the pic looked like but its nearly just a head shot? what kind of ‘sexy’ pic is that?

~ x ~

so the camera is making noise by itself, sooo spooky~

ugh, i forgot how long this opening was...im sorry but its really not building up any suspense. and why is the house completely dark??? turn on a light if your freaked out! thats what i do. they dont even show us if the light are busted. also, im pretty sure the ghost doesnt do this at any other point in the movie, tease people like this. im pretty sure the deaths are just...they just happen.

its so dark i can even see how she died, tho i guess her throat got cut. goodbye madelaine petsch, you were cute tho

~ x ~

now the real story can begin. and lol, “scarf girl” i forgot how dumb that was. that feels way more like middle bullies than high school bullies. also, i dont remember well but if you wear something around your neck do school photographers actually ask you to take things off your neck? feels weird.

~ x ~

shes a photographer. and like isnt taking pictures  of randos (even ones you like) weird and creepy? we all agree thats its weird and creepy, not cute?

hm...who is this guy again? a friend? rival love interest? he bought her the cursed camera (sx-70) from a yard sale. camera girl is super interested. she loves it, the guy (subtitles call him tyler) is fumbling over his words so maybe he does like her?

op, shes taking his picture, i guess hes not a rival and dies early...thats why i dont remember him.

shouldnt camera girl know not to shake polaroid pictures??

ooh, tyler tried to kiss her and she ran away. so he totally not a rival and will def die early. goodbye tyler we hardly knew ya

~ x ~

ooh she cant take a pic of a dad and daughter. angst. 

camera girl’s house is very dark too even tho its day outside. like on one hand...sure, shes got some angst so terrible colors makes sense. but then, it still looks shitty.

new friend saved the dog from the cursed camera!

new friend has parent angst, i guess she came out as a lesbian

~ x ~

two more new friends! which means more people will die :(

they arent annoying but its cute.

oh shit, tyler is back! the boy is walking around in the dark again cause...i dunno, nothing scary happens in the light. but i guess it works better for shadow monster man.

[theaetherhealerffxiv]

FFXIV Write - Week One - Prompt 3 - Lost

@sea-wolf-coast-to-coast​

----

FFXIV Oneshot: OC Based Fanfiction [Wol-verse]

Pairings: Wol oc x Thancred

Summary: They met years ago, but Thancred admits he knows nothing about Swath past before the Scions. Swath decides its time he finally explains his bloody history.

Word Count: 1793

With a pained grunt Thancred stretched out on the cot within the infirmary that was nestled in the side of the Crystarium. I sighed and sat heavily down next to him; despite my looks my body ached and the hustle and bustle of the room made my fatigue so much worse. Our little ward had run off to assist some of the doctors with gathering ingredients again, her mind now fully on her task after we had spoken with her. Beside me my long time companion laughed.

“Wha’ is so funny?” I asked, looking down at the beaten and bruised hyur. He looked at me with a soft smile and reached out to take my hand gently tugging me down to lay beside him. Exhausted, I complied. While I was a Viera, and much bigger than Thancred we still nestled comfortably together on the cot. My shoulders sagged and I shut my eyes for a moment feeling the pain peak in my muscles. I was sure to have bruises. Hearing the man beside me hum and place his head on my shoulder he lifted our still entwined hands. I opened my eyes to gaze at them, before feeling the need to ask my question again. “Thancred, wha is so funny?”

“This,” He shook our hands. “I would have never guessed that we would become so close.” I frowned, close? I clinked our promise bands, that were on our hands in defiance. He laughed again. “Yes, yes. But I mean when I found you outside of Ul’dah, it never crossed my mind that a day like this,” He shook our hands, “And this,” He mentioned to us and the bustling room. “Would happen. That you where the saviour of Eorzea.”

I sighed, “Hard’ly.” I muttered. “Jus’ cause some weird crystal chose me doe’sn make meh, a saviour. I’m just ah adventurer Thancred.” I shifted to nuzzle my nose into his greasy hair, smelling the dirt, blood and sweat. It was familiar, our moments of quiet together usually consisted of such things. 

“You may be just an adventurer to many Swath,” Thancred lifted my hand to his lips and kissed the band. “But you are at least my saviour.” I shivered a little bit at the memory; carrying his limp body out of the castrum, feeling the fear in the pit of my belly. Sure the mother Crystal had said that she had saved him but I feared… I had feared the worst. Although in this moment I was thankful. I was thankful that Thancred was opening up to me again, we had been parted for so long again. He had seemed so tired and bitter when I had first come to the First. I closed my eyes.

“Y’eh remember when yeh found me right?” I asked, shifting slightly to get more comfortable; my long ears where bumping against the top of the bed rubbing my fur the wrong way. The man who still had his lips to my dirty knuckles chuckled. 

“Aye, course.” His voice was soft. “You were so quiet, withdrawn… angry.”

“Lost,” I supplied. 

“Lost,” Thancred repeated placing our entwined hands on his chest. “You never really explained why, I realize. I know so much about you know, but I know nothing of your past beyond the moment I found you.” 

I could hear the curiousness in his voice, the wish to ask, the restraint with not, knowing it likely would hurt me. Bringing up such memories was not an easy task for me, but with all that we shared  I felt like finally, after all these years I owed him an explanation. I rolled my eyes even though he could not see and sighed. “Yeah, ‘bout time I’h explained som’ thin’s huh?” 

“If you would.” Thancred murmured, over the din of the infirmary I almost did not hear him for a moment. “I doubt anyone will disturb us here.” He then supplied, groaning as he reached up with his free hand to pop open a few latches in his chest armor. “Ah, but first if you would please help me here.” I laughed and we sat up, the white haired man before me shrugged off his jacket and I helped him free himself of his breastplate. I heaved it over the side of the bed before shedding what little pointy bits of armor I had on myself. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Thancred unceremoniously throw himself back on the cot. A faint memory of when we finished our first mission together in the Scions coming floating back before I settled back down next to him. 

“‘Ight.” I chuckled shifting so that my head was laying on top of his. He snatched my hand again and lifted above us once more playing with the band on my finger. “When yeh found me,”

“I remember you being wounded.” Thancred interrupted. I felt his head muscles shift under my cheek, indicating that he was frowning. 

“Yeah, I’h was. I’h had com’ from killin a tangent of Garleans.” I flexed my hand and smiled softly.

“But, there was not a castrum from miles around UI’dah.” Thancred said, his voice a little strained. Clearly he was not liking where my reflection was going, but I would not spare him any details.

“Aye, I’h had been wanderin for quite ah while.” I squeezed his hand gently. “I’h dun remember much, other than it h’a been days -”

“Days?” Thancreds voice broke a little, his hand stilling. 

“Aye. I went on rages often. I’h was very.. Broken, Thancred.” I muttered quietly as I waited a moment before continuing. Giving him a second to soak in the small detail. “I’h was still comin off loosin mah entire family to ah Garlean raid -”

“You never said anything about that.” 

“No. I’h guess I’h never saw a reason ta. I’h was with tha Scions, no reason ta bring up ol wounds.” I shrugged a little and he placed our hands on his chest again. 

“Pray, continue.” He breathed, his voice barely above a whisper. I could not tell if it was anger, or sympathy that flavored his tone. 

“‘Ight, So, mah family, I’h was raised in tha mountains of Garlemald, small village, one who worshiped ah primal I’h guess yah could say. Tha Garleans heard o us, dispatched a tangent of men ta murder us all. I’h was adopted by these people. I’h may have not been their blood but they, ta me where mine. This group o’men, they killed everyone. I’h even think they killed meh.” I frowned as I tried to focus on the hazy memory. I could not truly recall that day, just bullets tearing my flesh and then suddenly the one I believed should have killed me was no longer there. 

“You died?” Thancred shifted sitting up to stare at me intently. Still laying on the bed I shrugged.

“I’h think. I’h dunno, it was cold and black, ‘n suddenly I’h was warm and hurting.” I looked at his face curiously trying to read the expression that he had on his face. I couldn't so I just continued my story. “Tha was when I was a wee child, sweet babe of twenty winters.”

“And Viera live quite a long time.” Thancred muttered. “How long ago was that now?”

“Ah,” I raised a hand to rub my chin. “I’m ‘round sixty winters now? I’h think? Maybeh more, lotsa that time is lost ta me cause of mah anger.” Thancred was quiet. His eyes carefully watching me. I frowned, “Thancred, yah gotta tell me wha your thinkin, I have big ears for hearin, I cant read yah mind.”

His face broke out into a tender smile before he sighed, raising his hands in a shrug. “I was just thinking you are quite older than me. And here I thought I was robbing a cradle.”

I laughed, “I’h am a babe in terms of mah kind though apparently! So yeh may not be far off.” I reached up letting my fingertips graze his arms. He laughed and leaned forward wincing a little but falling onto my breast, snuggling into my shoulder. To us, the world around us had faded away and it was just our cot. 

“Continue Swath.” He asked shifting so that he could gaze at my face as I spoke. I smiled.

“Aye, well, I’h wandered ah lot afta that. Lived in tha wild. Stayed away from aether heavy areas..”

“Because of these correct?” He lifted on eof my arms and gently fingered a shimmering blue bump on my grey skin.

“Aye, aetheryte crystals.” I twisted my arm in his grasp to show off the many that speckled my skin like freckles. “Got’em when I was fifteen winters? Was protectin, or attemptin to, protect a town from a Garlean attack. They blew up the aetheryte while I was right next ta it, nearly killed me.”

Thancred sighed. “You have almost perished a lot, Swath.” 

“Aye well.” I shrugged. “I’h lived a dangerous life till I’h came to the Scions ironically. Yeh have to thank for savin mah hide from more danger.” Thancred grunted a response and I sighed. “Well, mah history isn't much more than that, yeh found me at tha lowest point in mah life pulled me from the brink an gave meh ah purpose.” 

“And then you became the Warrior of Light, a hero at the beck and call of all who need him.” Thancred murmured laying his head back down on my chest, he sighed. “Ironic indeed.”

“Eh, I got ta meet yah and everyone. I dun mind it. I’h am happy.”  I reached up and stroked his dirt caked hair. “Though, I do miss yah long hair. An tan.”

Thancred laughed, then winced. “Ah, do not make me laugh so. I did not have any control over the appearance of my soul.” I sighed.

“Aye, but tha tan, it had lines in such nice places.”  On top of me Thancred weakly pounded my shoulder.

“Enough you.” He chided. 

As I was about to open my mouth a small blur of white appeared in the corner of my eye. I turned and smiled. “Ah sweet little child, yeh return.” Thancred laungly turned to look at her, who was blushing furiously. 

“Ah-ah did I interrupt something?! I’m sorry!!” She squeaked then ran off before either of us could say anything.

“We should.. Go tell her it is okay.” Thancred murmured.

I chuckled, “Aye, but then, ta my quarters. I demand more of this. Its been ah while.”

“Yeah yeah,” With a smack to my shoulder Thancred winced but stood and grabbing his breastplate waited for me to stand with him and grab my things so that we could chase after the little Oracle. 

[reesewestonarchive]

chapter eight / rem belongs to @forlornraven / masterpost / mature content

“…where would you go?”

Rem’s voice is a stark difference from the mixtape playing through frankensteined speakers from Rem’s Walkman. Nakoa opens his eyes, peers at Rem’s face—calm, pleased. “Hm?”

Rem dozes on his side of the bed, a hand out between them in an aborted attempt at touching Nakoa’s stomach. His words are slurred, though, and there’s a tired, distant look in his eye when he lifts his gaze to Nakoa.

Not a second later, his eyes are closed again. “If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?”

Loaded question. Nakoa thinks there are plenty of places he’d like to see, plenty of places he could live, but would any of it matter if Rem weren’t with him? “Dunno. Hawaii. Or… European countryside, maybe.” Or Russia, if it weren’t so fucking cold. That’s the thing about the midwest that Nakoa doesn’t miss—the fucking winters. “Some place warm, probably.”

“Bahamas,” Rem says. “You’re miserable when you’re cold.”

“I have bad circulation,” Nakoa says, staring at the ceiling. “Can’t help it.”

Rem lifts his hand, pinches the skin at Nakoa’s hips gently, and says, “‘Cause you’re so fucking skinny. I bruise you when we fuck.”

“You’re one to talk.” Nakoa draws his fingers across thumb-shaped bruises along his own hips. A gentle stir of desire blooms in his stomach—maybe he can give Rem a matching set later. “What about you?”

“What about me?” He burrows closer, presses his head against Nakoa’s neck. He sighs.

“Where would you go, if you could go anywhere?”

“What’s wrong with right here?” Rem drops an arm around Nakoa’s waist. “Mm. Maybe…” He sighs; his breath tickles Nakoa’s chest. He mumbles a response, but Nakoa doesn’t hear it, doesn’t ask for him to repeat it.

Instead, he hums along to Rem’s mixtape. Rem didn’t say it, and Nakoa’s not sure if it’s on purpose, but Nakoa’s since sussed out that the songs are love songs.

For a guy that can’t verbalize the word, Rem’s really fucking good at saying it.

There are plenty of unanswered questions—if anyone’s chasing them, if it’s Michael or Rem’s bad decisions. If it’s… something else. Some asshole on their tail for being as open. Nakoa knows the attitude, knows whatever this is between them makes other people angry, disgusted.

He also doesn’t give a shit. Anyone’d be hard pressed to find someone Rem wouldn’t fight.

In the room, with Rem wrapped around him, basking in the glow of sex, Nakoa forgets about all that. Forgets that there’s a world outside the motel, a world outside of Rem and himself and the bed they’re lying on, in the dark with The Cure playing softly in the background.

Nakoa tests the words on his lips again; soft, against Rem’s hair. I love you. He mouths along with the lyrics for a verse, then hums. Rem curls closer, a pleased noise escaping his throat.

A whisper when Nakoa says, “I love you,” his voice barely louder than the music. Rem says nothing, his breathing even in sleep.

Nakoa lets him rest.

-

In the cold, misty morning, they pack up from the hotel overlooking the ocean, and Rem uses the last of his own money on a pack of cigarettes. Nakoa steals one from Rem’s lips, ignores his squawk of disagreement, and says, “Where to?”

Rem sighs, stares down at the map. “Fuck if I know.”

Nakoa remembers his mother—tries not to; the thought of her still at home leaves his chest tight—and how she would always say that the journey means as much as the destination. They don’t have the money to go much farther, and soon, the midwest is going to be covered in snow. Soon enough, anyway.

Nakoa thinks of the Grand Canyon, of Yellowstone, of Niagara Falls. Of ghost towns and abandoned houses, amusement parks and mountains and the Atlantic Coast. He thinks he’d follow Rem to hell—if he asked.

“Might as well hit all the stops,” Rem says. “Right?”

Nakoa watches his brow crease in thought. He doesn’t want to, but he says, “Pretty soon we won’t have money for food. Eating out’s fucking expensive.”

A glint sparkles in Rem’s eyes as he pulls the cigarette from his lips, smoke exhaling with each word, “That’s not true. I eat you out all the time.”

“Mm. Think you’re pretty fucking clever, don’t you?”

Rem shrugs, tugs Nakoa against him by his belt loops. “Sometimes. Hey—about the money thing.” He raises an eyebrow, grin wide across his lips, and says, “We could rob a bank.”

Yeah, right. Nakoa has a difficult time imagining that. “Or scare small children.” He shoves his knuckles against Rem’s ribs. “Give me your lunch money, punk.”

Thoughtfully, Rem asks, “Ever thought about porn?”

Nakoa doesn’t say the only person he wants to fuck is Rem. Instead, he says, “With your jealous streak, yeah fucking right.”

Rem scowls, but there’s a layer of mischief underneath. “I don’t get jealous.”

“Yeah?” Nakoa licks his lips, then says, “All right, cool. I’ll go get dicked down by some big fucker with a selfish attitude to match yours.” He makes a show of peering around the parking lot. “What kind of job do you think I can get around here? Or is that something I need to go to Portland for?”

Rem makes a noise in his throat, tugs Nakoa back against him, grips Nakoa’s wrists in his own. “Fuck no. You’re—” He sighs. “Fine. You win.”

“Oh, yeah? What’d I win?”

“I’d offer myself up as prize, if I was worth anything.” He squints, plucks Nakoa’s sunglasses from atop Nakoa’s head, and puts them on. Nakoa almost days, “Don’t sell yourself short,” but Rem continues with, “Blowjob?”

“Tsk,” Nakoa says. “Like I don’t get those from you on the regular anyway.” He smiles, lopsided and pleased. “What else you got for me?”

But Rem’s attention has shifted, from Nakoa to something across the street. His skin is white, fear-lined, and there’s a  Nakoa frowns, tries to turn back to see it, but Rem’s grip is tight and he won’t let Nakoa move.

“Could—” Rem clears his throat, looks back at Nakoa and smiles. “—let’s get on the road, hey?”

He still doesn’t let Nakoa turn back to see what he was looking at, holds Nakoa’s hands together.

“What aren’t you telling me?” Nakoa asks. He shakes out of Rem’s grip, turns, and— “Oh, fuck—”

He can’t get to the van quick enough. Rem, somehow, is already inside when Nakoa finally shuts the door behind him. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t know!” Rem jams the key into the ignition, turns it—the van stalls. “Fuck!”

His heart beats, hard, fast, in his chest. “Rem,” Nakoa says, still staring at the old, beat-up Bronco sitting across the street, at the guy sitting outside of it.

Michael.

“How’d he find us?” Rem mutters. “I didn’t think—”

The van roars to life—for a split second before stalling again. Nakoa’s heart climbs his throat, and he feels like he’s going to throw up.

But the van’s not starting, and Michael’s moving forward, now, towards the car. Nakoa moves through the van, out through the back. “I’ll find you,” Nakoa says, “later, okay? Just—I’ll find you. When we lose him—”

And he goes. Out the back door, and he books it, as soon as he hits the asphalt. Rem yells his name, but Nakoa goes anyway, down the parking lot and through the alley towards the boardwalk, where maybe, fucking maybe, he can get away.

He hopes, stupidly, that Michael doesn’t go after Rem instead, that he follows Nakoa. Rem’s already in too deep into Nakoa’s bullshit, and—

Someone stands at the end of the alleyway, blocking his escape, so he turns back around, stumbles over his own feet into one of the buildings. Breath catches in his chest, terror holding him tight as he stares ahead, at Rem, held in his father’s grip.

“You leave a messy trail, Nakoa.” Michael’s voice is quiet, calm, and Nakoa hears footsteps behind him, encroaching on his space, unsurprised when he feels the cold metal of a gun press against his neck. “Nice to see you again.”

“Let him—” Nakoa says, but the gun presses against his neck, harder, cuts him off, and he swallows. Waits.

“Rude to interrupt your father.” Michael, after a beat, does release Rem—only to send him reeling against the brick with a fist to his stomach. “Tell me, Nakoa. Did you think I would let you leave?”

Nakoa says nothing, eyes trained on Rem. Michael sighs, and, as Rem is bent over, coughing, knees him in the stomach. This time, Rem goes down. “Answer me.”

Yes; Nakoa figured, it’s been long enough since he heard about the secrets, since he’s been involved in any of Michael’s work; he should have been safe. He should have been fucking safe. And if it weren’t for Michael knowing someone fucking everywhere, a network of I-know-a-guy, Nakoa would have been.

He should have convinced Rem to fly out of the country. Maybe remote Russia isn’t so bad.

“No,” he lies, because Michael shouldn’t want to waste resources, not time or money, on Nakoa. He steps forward, ignoring Rem behind him, coughing.

Michael’s taller than he is, though not by much; Nakoa slouches. Rem still towers over him.

Rem could take him, if he was smart about it.

“I thought I was clear,” Michael says. “You are to stay with me. This is what we do, Nakoa. I can’t have my only son disappear, after all, can I? Even if he is a miserable excuse for one.”

Rem stumbles to his feet, croaks out a, “Hey, asshole—” before Michael turns, gun still in hand, and Nakoa can’t turn away fast enough, waiting for the sound of a gunshot that doesn’t come.

Instead, Michael winds up and slams the butt of the pistol into Rem’s head, turning back before Rem has even hit the ground. Blood surfaces from A gas on Rem’s forehead immediately, runs down his face, and… 

Nakoa watches Rem, tunnel visioned. Is he okay. Is he okay there’s a lot of blood already and his chest is rising and falling but is it too much? Not enough—

“Can someone take that one back to the car,” Michael asks, “handcuff him and put him in the trunk?”

It’s not a request. But Nakoa still says, “He needs help. You—”

“Shut up.”

“He could be—”

“Easier if he is,” Michael says. “I’d rather not have to cut off his attempts at a Disney rescue. You are mine, you know. No other man you throw yourself will change that fact.” Michael pulls Nakoa’s chin up, forces him to look Michael in the eye. “It’s best for you at home. You keep poor company.”

Nakoa keeps poor company. That’s almost laughable. “Pot calling the kettle,” Nakoa says. “I promise I won’t say shit, okay? For fuck’s sake, Rem doesn’t even know.”

He wonders maybe if Michael knows that, or if he doesn’t care. If his sole concern is of Nakoa giving out pieces of Michael’s secrets, or if it’s…

Nakoa swallows. Waits. 

Michael stares at him, expression blank, before he says, “You know, Nakoa. You haven’t proven yourself very trustworthy. You ran away from home. What am I meant to think?” He steps forward. “No. I think it’s best for you to stay with me.” He glances back towards Rem, still unconscious on the ground. “Your… friend, too.”

If Michael knows, he doesn’t day anything. Instead, he snaps his fingers, and the gun at Nakoa’s throat disappears. He tries to leave, get away, grab for Rem and shake him awake, but his before he can, his wrists are bound by zip ties.

Michael retreats down the alleyway, lighting a cigarette, and Nakoa opens his mouth—unsure what he’s going to say—but doesn’t get to call after him. Instead, there’s a burst of pain at the back of his skull, and the world goes dark.

[maternalcube]

i did an art summary so now im doing a fic summary. i was tagged by @jamthedingus also!! ive never done one of these before!! lets go!!!

Rest (13106)

Keith & Lance's Island Adventure (20631)

Atlantis (10014 words)

The Way to a Man’s Heart (6858 words)

nobody's business (2096 words)

leave, and take (557 words)

dead girl walking (1661 words)

the course of fate (1039 words)

who ya gonna call (465 words)

come here often? (806 words)

til kingdom come (1950 words)

stars in the sky (pt 2) (5404 words)

a song of falling (630 words)

Eyes to the Sky (3683 words)

Feet on the Ground (4050 words)

Divergence (6669 words)

homecoming (1426 words)

Window of Opportunity (11144 words)

along that wilderness of glass (3801 words)

string theory (2327 words)

Katt Week (1062 words)

The Pining-Plant (3860 words)

at the end of many worlds (21684 words)

you're my home (19646 words)

Believe Me (3177 words)

Starchild (3568 words)

Summer Heat (2285 words)

third time's the charm (5349 words)

Blackbird (59546 words)

The Sixth Planet (9444 words)

all the infinite realities (1197 words)

Total Fics: 31! (plus one i posted anonymously lmao) Total Words: 229999! (except parts of string theory and the sixth planet were actually posted last year... but still, what a number)

more under the cut!

Ship/character breakdown: i didnt filter out my prompt collection or abandoned wips here so /shrug Ship breakdown:

klance - 6 sheith - 5 shance - 5 katt - 4 heith - 3 pallura - 2 and one each of plance, kallura, allurance, shatt, shkatt, kidge, kidgance, and shunk. and keiths parents lol. let it never be said i am not a multishipper.

and i know gen isnt a ship but it tied with klance at 6 (plus whatevers in the prompt collection) which was a surprise

Character breakdown: man if theres a way to get ao3 to show me ALL the stats, i dont know it. but.

keith - 25 (shocker) shiro - 23 lance - 21 pidge - 17 hunk - 16 allura - 12 matt - 12 and then coran and sam are at 4, and zarkon ats 3 and presumably many others are at 3 or less

Characters that had the main focus: well ~9 were from keiths pov, and ~5 each from shiro and lances povs. i think i also had ~5 from multiple points of view. its safe to say that keith has my heart tho lol

Specifics:

Best/worst title? Best title: i still like “at the end of many worlds.” i weirdly still like “Blackbird” too even if it has nothing to do with anything... Worst title: “Rest.” :/ also like all of the abandoned wips bc i didnt care. and “Keith & Lance's Island Adventure.″ some of my zine fic titles were also... bad. im bad at titles.

Best/worst first line?

Best: Keith & Lance's Island Adventure. ok the title is bad but this line? this really sets the tone for whole fic. you know what youre getting yourself into here.

When Pidge invited Keith to a fully-funded graduation party aboard the Holt family boat (“the smaller one, anyway,” she’d said), this is not exactly what he'd pictured: three of them standing on a wobbly dock, packed bags at their feet, sky cloudy and gray, while the Holt siblings stand on a little ledge off the back of the boat and deny entry.

Worst: ive got two for this lol

at the end of many worlds: even i have to read this a couple times to figure out what i was trying to say. at least you know youre in for pain...

Keith’s mother shows up to interrupt movie night often enough that, this time, Keith almost doesn’t realize anything’s wrong. Almost, because she’s silhouetted by the movie, but she’s clutching her arm and panting for breath, and in the thin edge of light around her he sees a wet and vibrant red.

Divergence: because all your friends being dead is EXACTLY like losing at dodgeball. yeah, theres a reason i abandoned this one.

Hunk always hated playing dodgeball. Not because he was bad at it--though he was--but because he always ended up the last one standing, and therefore the only target for the entire other team. It was due to a tendency to hang unnoticed in the back, he knew, but that didn't change the sickening, empty feeling of looking around and realizing there's no one left but him, and there's no way he can win. Only wait for the inevitable.

This, Hunk decides, is a lot like that, only, like, a billion times worse.

Best/worst last line?

Best: The Pining-Plant. there are a few others that were cute too but this one is also good out of context so

And then the pod swishes open and he's scrambling to catch Pidge as she stumbles out. She clings to his arms to steady herself and his heart swells.

"Falling for me again, huh?" he asks, and she groans loudly.

"Let me go, I'm getting back in the pod," she says, and he laughs. He doesn't let go, and neither does she.

Worst: if im bad at titles, im worse at endings. most are bad. i suspect the ending to “Rest” is terrible but i cant bring myself to even open that shit again so: Believe Me. if weather were a recurring theme in this fic, itd be fine, but as is its just... a weird note to end the fic on lmao

Hunk rocks back on his heels. "We aren't counting this as our official first date, right?"

"I dunno," Keith says, and now he smiles at the rain instead of frowning. It shows no sign of easing up, but whatever—they're soaked anyway. "This seems pretty good to me."

“...All right.” If nothing else, it’ll make a good story. And, Hunk had to admit—he’s pretty happy with how it’s turned out, rain and all.

But next time, he's double-checking the forecast, just in case.

General questions:

Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, less than you thought, or about what you predicted?

more than i expected! considering ive been in grad school all year!! i wrote about the same amount wordcount-wise in 2017 which i spent only half in school so. idk how i managed it.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year?

the anonymous fic was a surprise but im not gonna talk about that lol. otherwise... nah, its all been my usual stuff.

What’s your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest.

blackbird, probably. i like working on that one. summer heat was also fun, id sort of forgotten about it bc it was a zine fic but coming back to it, i really liked it. likewise with third time’s the charm. and i like t6p a lot even if i kinda hate drawing for it :’)

Okay, NOW your most popular story.

depends on your metric. window of opportunity has the most kudos, keith and lance’s island adventure has the most hits, and t6p has the most comments and subscriptions. 

Story most underappreciated by the universe?

AT THE END OF MANY WORLDS. oh man i killed myself over that fic. it was important to me. but i think the mcd scared everyone off :’)

Story that could have been better?

i realize “all of them” is kind of a cop out answer but like

Sexiest story?

i have written nothing sexy, ever, in my whole life

Saddest story?

i mean, ateomw. considering all the death. blackbird def has its moments too.

Most fun?

i feel like i answered this in the favorite story q lmao. you’re my home also gets a shoutout, that thing was,, super self-indulgent lmao. and id be lying if i said i didnt have fun with parts of ateomw, even if its mostly sad.

Story with single sweetest moment?

man i write a lot of fluff but so much of you’re my home is just tooth-rotting. heres part of the proposal scene lmao

"Lance!" Keith yelps, barely rescuing the ring from falling into the sand with them. Lance pushes himself up on his arms, silhouetted by the sun and glowing with it.

"Really?" he asks breathlessly.

"Yeah," Keith says, and maybe he should've prepared something to say, that's a thing people do, right? Hell, he's winging it. "I know we can't stay here on Earth forever, 'cause we're paladins, and there's still stuff out there we gotta do. And I know you probably want to stay because this is your home—but you're my home, and if we gotta go, at least you'll have me, good or bad." He grins crookedly. "Or rocket science. Whatever happens, I'll be there."

Hardest story to write?

well t6p gets a shoutout, but its not the writing thats the hard part for that. uhhh ive struggled with parts of blackbird. i remember k&l’s island adventure giving me a LOT of trouble, i think i posted late lol

Easiest/most fun story to write?

anything short uhhh for all the infinite realities, i kind of just sat down the other day (actually i was in bed but) and was like “im gonna write this” and then in the morning i just sat down and wrote it in one go. i dunno if id call it fun, but it was easy. t6p is super fun to write but, as mentioned, drawing it sucks.

Did any stories shift your perceptions of the characters?

no... my perceptions probably have shifted but not due to anything i wrote in particular. i did talk myself into liking allurance with a prompt fill, though, but im not sure that was 2018...

Most overdue story?

all the infinite realities lmao. at the end of many worlds needed that happy ending. and another shoutout to t6p, because thats been going on over a year and im still nowhere.

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

does posting my abandoned wips count? ive still got some of those hanging around... blackbird was a bit of a risk bc my last longfic was written while i was unemployed and out of school, so like i had the time for it, and now i kinda dont. still chugging tho. ateomw b/c of all the death but it turns out i really like writing whump woops. and writing any sort of kissing always feels like a risk bc i suck at it but im getting better lol... i hope...

What are your fic writing goals for next year?

write more! finish things! do more sheith! i really want to work on this sheith longfic i came up with the other day... but i want to get blackbird over with first.

Tagging: eh! do it if you want to!

[obannthepunished]

uhhhhhh notes HURT WEEK im pains

"They call me eagle-eye fjord where i come from." "maybe raven. i dont know." that theory about Fjord being the Hawker is suspicious rn (Apparently theres a third i missed whoops) sam apparently similar thoughts maybe bc Nott brings it up

Jester finally teaching kiri basic phrases, like "go fuck yourself"

Beau + Fjord taking first watch

Caleb checking out the dodecahedron

(Unrelated odd point: i have a current dislike/distrust for liam, which is bullshit bc... i love liam. and caleb and vax. but apparently smt is wrong.)

Dodecahedron is Very Old, and has been shaped/polished Cay uses the haversack as a pillow

BEAU/FJORD Beau: "I think I messed up. I think I should apologise." I HURT? Oh beauregard. oh marisha. "i wanna try, I guess" F: I think he deserves that. He's been good to us. i regret not writing fic now 8(

"OOH, terrible" "YEP." "five" "five" (collective "ooh")

Nott + Jes second. they roll not great.

Tinkle tinkle "nnhnohfishnott"

Kiri is poofed up asleep aAW

trident goin for FRUMPKIN NOOO (pause whilst they look for range on dismissal)

Kiri wakes up "Go fuck yourself :("

Theyre waiting for fish head they could just reappear Frumpkin tho...

Jester is sacred flaming, Molly has a sword active + stabs, Caleb fire bolt, Nott fires an arrow, Fjord eldritch blast, Yasha stabby

Molly + Nott + Caleb miss Fjord hits, Beau hits, Yasha hits dunno bout jes

frumpkin poofs back but doesn't see anything else.

???? alarm lasts 8 hours, not until triggered yall it should still be up. they need to look up the spells smh

Nott messaging to tell yash to hide the bodies

LAst watch is Yash and Caleb i need to stop shortening names

Caleb asks Yasha for people advice :') He's writing it down... i love him Yashas advice is basically "Fucking Bathe" And cay confirms he keeps himself gross because people ignore him more that way 8( Baby

C: "Do you know what i miss? shaving." Y: "I could shave you right now with my sword. I've done it before, you know, to... not have hair on my arms-" Omg shes doing it omg theyre doing it omg I DONT HAVE TO DRAW FACIAL HAIR IN MY FANART ANY MORE FUCK <3333

cay forgets he has a dagger jesus fucking christ

i love everyone making comments + taliesins just amazed like, borderline heart eye emoji look at this whole scenario

M: (to Caleb) "Well done, she [yasha] likes you!"

Nott is Not Happy About Water N: I'LL STAY WITH KIRI everyone else: Convincing her to come N: I'll stay with kiri, and if there's any trouble... we'll see what happens

Fjord goes first, he sees, with his 60ft darkvision, architeture of room. mistly natural, some bits not.

Fjord botches his stealth roll but matt botches his perception even worse. and my thing crashed im so mad.

Fjord is Not a good swimmer. hes like. 30ft swimming speed. Things being left: Caleb's books (2) Molly's coat

travis willingham going "kiris gotta die" then dragging everyone who gasped through the dirt

beau gets fucking 37 on her stealth check Matt: "That's some vax numbers right there!"

The visual aid is... so extra. lights. smoke. what the fuck matthew. (note: when ur best friend is called matthew this is a phrase you say too much)

Surprise round for erryone but Molly and Yasha (purrsonally, i think they were too busy talking abt how beautiful cay is now ;3c)

everyone rolled shite for initiative tho

Caleb casting haste on molly O:

Fjord is very very adept at everything

everyone on crit role can do maths better than me 8(

the marrow fuck beau and fjord royally

watching call lightning forming + marishas face as she slowly realises :)

jes gets the first hdywtdt + crushes a fish with a lollipop

Caleb is taking blind potshots with the glove of blasting boyy. One even hits!

moll gets 3 attacks i love my beautiful devil child

N: Are you guys alive and do you need anything? you can reply to this message~ C: FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK N: oh,, alright.

Taliesin's relief when ashley actually hits is very good.

Beau goes down! D:

hi unrelated taliesin sticking his tongue out at sam fills me with indescribable joy

NEW: Horny twink gets double penetrated by feisty wet ones.

... which is to say two fish dudes stab molly.

Jes heals Beau, but we all know fine fucking well if she hadn't, Yasha would have done it on her next turn. still might since she's only on 11

Cay using dispel magic O:

Molly gets the second hdywtdt "I'm literally just a windmill at this point"

FJORD gets the third F: "I see Molly loojin' around, give him a little wink-" (murders) M: Fucking arsehole F: (witty comment) PEACE OUT (blinks out again)

"Sevens are scary" - Taliesin

Yash gets the next hdywtdt Xorhasian Neck Tie Jesus christ

I was right tho Yasha was seriously considering healing beau, it just takes her action

Two more fishfucks 8(

More call lightning

Sams flask says "lost my best friend over a bowl" and that hurtie

caleb is boutta die. Yasha is boutta die first lmao oh no. i love taliesin jaffe an inhuman amount. Yash gets pulled OVER beau and marisha makes like grabby hand motions which is VERY cute

ok NOW caleb boutta die. he Shield's, and then fragments "Caleb will remember this"

Beau looks at Yasha, looks at Caleb, and goes to CALEB (sobs) blasts a ki point and everything

Molly gets a nat 20 oh he's such a babe

Nott spending her turn justifying herself to Kiri

Fjord blinks back in and fucks up ANOTHER fishfuck

Yasha casting healing hands on HERSELF good.

"You dont have a printout of your character sheet????" "Oh yeah I do after you asked me nine times" liam wh

both yash and caleb are at ONE hp

B, spening her last ki point: HEYCALEBWESHOULDTALKLATER

Beau gets the HDYWTDT tho

Molly is Very Sick from losing haste

Caleb goes the fuck down Fails his first save

everytime tal says "im gonna try something weird"  i heart eyes emoji shame he cant do jack fuck though

Nott Burning Bolt shoots the fishfuck for 24 damage jeeeeez doesnt die but drops lightning

Fjord: (appears, fails, disappears)

if Caleb permadeaths i WILL cry

PLEASE YASHA PLEASE GOD JESTER PLEASE THEY KILL IT IM CRYING SO HARD no like literally i am actually crying bc matt very deliberately did that so that he didnt kill Caleb

Jester uses her pearl of power to regain a slot, and use it to cast prayer of healing for SHIT rolls.

Jester goes back to Kiri <333 baby. baby bird.

Matt mercer keeps using words ive only ever seen written and im ALWAYS ???? about their pronunciation

Fjord finds some L00t Like boxes and longswords and a pool of water with dozens of metallic objects mostly outlawed diety symols. changebringer moonweaver. others i forgot. stormlord. everlight. asmodeus ooh, bane strife emperor. and tiamat.

"a little black bird that's fluttering to try and get dry" fuck thats so damn cute. Marisha has the :D face

Calebs books are dry

wooden box + pool are magic. like. WITHIN.

Enchantment in the box. Molly collecting the moonweaver pieces

JESTER FINDS TWO SYMBOLS FOR THE TRAVELLER? HOLY SHIT Different make, pure silver one, burnished bronze another door arch with the road

Molly gets 12-13 symbols

Nott mage hands just so good even drunk

in the box is a blade, gold, jewel encrusted Molly shoves Nott aside to get it cause its a scimitar style

Caleb finds the arch-heart symbol? Takes one

Yasha takes 4 symbols for the storm god.

Bane/strife emperor symbol Fjord is curious about chained coffin he throws it into the pool. nothing happens.

JEster goes to pll it out and gets a big catseye yellow gem,  magical, but not a school of arcane magic. it has a line groove in it, very deliberate, an oval.

"something about that [orb] is very familiar"??? (Matt to Travis)

i was right about the orb being familiar

C: (abt the gold sword) This blade is called Summer's Dance C: "Mr. Mollymauk," M: "Mr. Caleb."

Blade allows user to cast Blink basically, and is stronk

official-europa replied to your post: uhhhhhh notes HURT WEEK im pains “They...

i think its probably misty step and not blink 

official-europa replied to your post: uhhhhhh notes HURT WEEK im pains “They...

on the sword i mean

caleb tries to ID the orb

fjord touches it "sky is moonlit + cloudless, clothes not your own, nor body, overcoat + human skin. thick calloused skin. left hand stone. look down, see body of previous owner, dead in blood. natural landmass seawater night. flash. right hand grasps falchion. voice booms. potential. jams the stone into gut, cCONSUME. vanishes into belly. looks into water. REWARD." "Vandrin."

i dont kn ow what the fuck is going on.??? everyone else sees this o shit

oh shit is the eye the symbol of Fjord's patron?

"he was my mentor, a captain of mine. a man named Vandrin." Y: What happened to Vandrin? F: I'm not sure. he captained the ship i worked on for many years, and their was an incident. an explosion, terrible weather, waves, "i was knocked overboard" when f woke up he was back on shore

"how did you survive" "I'm not entirely sure."

explosion was sabotage.

the pool is saltwater.

Molly shoves Fjord's head into the water

comes up "You okay???" "Do it again" "Tap three times when you're done!" Fjord drowns

they take as much as possible up and out and decide to dynamite everything in. dramatic exit..

They take the bodies down and lay them in the swamp to rest and decompose.

Beau tries to pull Caleb aside and he just stonewalls her until she actually apologises.

Caleb "I give beauregard a hug and say 'idont know what im doing. just. go with it." BEau very AWKWARDLY hugs him back Beau consulting Fjord, Caleb consulting Yasha The entire other side of the table clapping.

Beau: UH. GOOD TALK. FRIEND. (awkward silence) Beau: Seriously though. Friend? (pause) Caleb: Uh. Ja. (brb dying)

there is a single yellow eye on the hilt of the falchion.

episode END

[i-have-a-wonky-eye-too]

What we’ve always wanted!

wildefire said:If you’re still doing requests I’d like to know if you could do a stucky x reader skit? Where the reader and has a sort of jealous animosity towards the bous, and the rest of the team gets tired of it so they get locked in the gym together?

I hope this is okay. Sorry it’s taken me a while, I kinda struggled with it strangely.

Y/N: Where are you?x

Steve: out with Bucky, why?x

Y/N: Oh... we were meeting for lunch, remember?x

Steve: yes?

- Sorry doll. I completely forgot.

- Bucky says you’re welcome to join us. Will you? Please?x

Y/N: I’m okay, thanks. It was only for a catch up x

I sighed as I walked into the common area with my earphones in, blasting AC/DC. Thanks, Tony. I had’t been back to the tower all day and I’d been avoiding any calls. I just needed to be on my own for a bit. Sometimes I found being an Avenger overwhelming. I wasn’t a ‘super-soldier’ like Steve or an amazing assassin like Natasha. I was a computer geek, a hacker so to speak.

For what seemed like the 100th time my phone rang and I hung up. Suddenly my earphones were pulled out of my ears scaring the hell outta me. “What the-”

Steve frowned down at me, his arms folded over his chest. “Why’d you hang up?”

I rolled my eyes with a sigh. “I’m in the tower. I was gonna come and find you.” I lied, hoping Steve wouldn’t look into it.

“Right, so, you’ve been where, all day?” Steve shrugged his shoulders as he asked in his Cap voice. I rolled my eyes again at him. “Y/N! Stop, with the eye rolling, it’s annoying.” he sighed.

I shook my head, looking him up and down. “Where are you off?” I referred to his appearance.

“Oh, Bucky, Sam and I are going out for the night.” he beamed. My face dropped at his words. “Don’t change th-”

“Are you kidding me?” I creased my brow.

“What?” he shrugged.

“It’s Saturday night.” I said like it was obvious. He shrugged again. “We were gonna watch the next series of Sherlock, together.” I frowned.

“Oh, we’ve already watched it.” Bucky pattered my shoulder as he walked past me. I growled a little as I watched him enter the elevator with Sam.

I turned back to face Steve. “Why’d you watch it with, him? That was our thing.” I frowned.

Steve began laughing at me. “C’mon, doll. I can watch it again with you.”

I shook my head. “No you can’t. You’ve ruined it.” I sighed pushing passed him.

Bucky sighed dramatically. “You’re such a baby...C’mon, Punk. Let’s go.”

After binge watching Sherlock for about seven hours in my room, I headed down to the kitchen to get something to eat. It was well after 1am so most Avengers will have already turned in for the night. “Isn’t, it, past your bed time?” I ignored Bucky as I passed him, Steve, Sam, Natasha and Thor who were in the common area drinking. “See! I told you, she hates, ME!” he laughed.

I stood in the kitchen making myself a sandwich for myself trying to ignore the laughter in the next room. “Okay, what’s up your butt?” Nat asked from behind me.

“Nothing.” I shrugged.

“Y/N, don’t try to lie to me. I know you like the back of my hand.” she smirked as she stood next to me. “Spill, now.” she demanded.

I sighed putting the knife I had in my hand down. “I- I just... feel, I dunno-” I shrugged shaking my head. “Lonely.” I frowned looking up at her. “Without... Steve.” I dropped my head.

“Sexually?” she questioned with a raised eyebrow.

I screwed my face up ‘ewing’ at her. “What? No!” I shook my head almost gagging at the thought of me and Steve.

“OH MY GOD!” Bucky burst out laughing behind us. “That’s, hilarious!” he held his stomach as he bent over laughing. I groaned closing my eyes, wishing the floor would just open up and swallow me whole.

Steve ran into the kitchen along with Sam and Thor, all looking ready for an attack. “What’s wrong?” Sam asked.

“She- her-” Bucky couldn’t talk cause of the laughing. “Brother-”

“Brother?” Steve raised his eyebrow at Bucky before looking at me and Nat. “What’s going on, Y/N?”

I shook my head about to speak but Nat piped up first. “Y/N is lonely, without you.” my eyes widened. “Possibly sexually?”

Steve and I pulled a face of disgust at each other as we stepped away from each-other. Bucky began laughing even more as did Sam. “I do not understand? I thought the two of you were, siblings?” Thor asked.

Bucky managed to calm his laughing down a little. “That’s, what I was trying, to, say.” he snickered. “It’d be like Nat asking me it.” I rolled my eyes at him.

“Well, you and Steve are a lot closer tha-” Nat looked at me, a smirk forming on her lips. “Ah...” I shook my head as I once again picked my sandwich up and began leaving the kitchen. Nat following closely. “Are you jealous?”

“No.” I sighed as I walked into my room, sitting back on my bed. “I don’t hate him, either.”

“You heard, him?”

I nodded taking a deep breath as I placing my plate on the bedside table. “I don’t, hate him, Nat.” I sighed looking down. “Thor was right. Me and Steve were so close at one point, he was like my big brother but, I dunno, ever since Bucky came back into the picture... Steve’s, forgotten me.” I admitted. “I didn’t have a family growing up and Steve was starting to feel like what I was missing.”

“Have you told him? Them?” she sat up looking at me.

I shook my head. “Every time I try to, they go off to do something... I mean, are they fucking?” I blurted out making Nat burst out laughing. I covered my mouth as I began laughing with her.

Nat: Don’t forget training this morning x

- Don’t be late! x

Y/N: Yeah yeah. See you in 5!x

I headed down to the gym to meet Nat for our early training session. After last night I wasn’t really in no mood for anyone. I pushed the door open expecting to see Nat already running on the treadmill or getting somethings out for our session. “Nat!” I shouted. “Nat?” I frowned as I lifted my wrist to look at my watch. “Asshole tells me not to be late.” I muttered.

“Language!” I jumped at the sound of Steve’s voice behind me. He chuckled as he walked over to me. “What you doing here?” he asked dropping his stuff next to me.

“Having a party.” I shrugged. Steve rolled his eyes looking away. “That’s annoying.” I smirked a little, mocking him. “Why are you here? Don’t you usually go for a run this early?” I asked.

He nodded. “Yeah, but Buck wanted to train in here this morning.”

“The hell I did.” Bucky announced his arrival as he burst through the door. Both Steve and I frowned at his loudness. “You, were the one who wanted to train. You said it was a tea, thing.” he shrugged.

Before I could say anything else the sound of the doors being locked caught our attention. “YOU THREE AREN’T LEAVING UNTIL YOU TALK!” Natasha shouted through the door.

“About what?” Steve asked.

“Y/N knows!” Sam shouted.

I sighed shaking my head. Of course she told him. “There’s nothing to talk, about.” I answered.

“Not even the feeling lonely without, Steve?” Bucky smirked at me over his shoulder.

I rolled my eyes as I turned round to take a seat on the bench. “You make me sound creepy, saying it like that.” Bucky began laughing at me, making me annoyed. “Why do you think I hate you?” I asked.

“You do.” Bucky sighed resting his back against the doors.

I shook my head sighing. “I don’t, Bucky. How could I?... you’re lovely.” I smiled at him, making him look away trying to hide his reddening face.

“So, why do you, act, weird around, me?”

“Cause, I’m jealous.” I admitted.

“Of Bucky?” Steve chuckled taking a seat next to me.

“Thanks, Punk.” Bucky frowned at him.

Steve held his hand up in defence before putting his arm around me. “Y/N, you don’t need to be jealous of Bucky.”

“I’m not!” I got up quickly. “No offence dude but, my life is pretty good... apart from my parents dying when I was a kid...” I frowned. “I dunno, ever since you came back into the picture... Steve’s, forgotten me.” I admitted.

“I haven’t forgot about you, Y/N.” Steve admitted. “But, Bucky needs me more than-”

“No, I don’t.” Bucky sighed getting up. I watched him as he walked over to where we were. “Look Steve, I appreciate everything you and everyone has done for me so far but, I’m not a porcelain doll. You can leave me on my own once in a while.” he smiled placing his hand on Steve shoulder before sitting down next to him.

“I know, Buck, I just... worry, about you.” Steve sighed. “I’m sorry... to the both of you.”

There was silence in the gym for a brief moment before Bucky spoke up. “So, what are you jealous of?”

“Hmm... Steve’s like my big brother but I kinda feel like, he was just waiting for you... I didn’t have a family growing up and Steve was starting to feel like what I was missing.”

Bucky sighed getting up form the bench and stepped forwards. He hesitantly lifted his arms and wrapped them around me, pulling me into a hug. “Ya’know, I always wanted a little sister.” he smiled against the top of my head.

I wrapped my arms around him as I smiled into his chest, holding him closer. “Me too.” Steve joined the hug, making me laugh as they squashed me between the two of them.

“GET A ROOM!” Sam shouted, causing the three of us to let go of each other. “AH! What was that for?” I burst out laughing, knowing Natasha probably punched him in the arm for ruining a nice moment.

[pinksweatergettingbetter]

warning, the following has mainly snarky (and possibly furious) opinions on Spirit of Justice. Reader discretion is advised.

Okay folks. this is it. part 1 of the final chapter

here we go.

-

trial day 2?? oh yeah i forgot they split this game up in the worst, uneven way possible 

-

wow that cutscene was

something alright

-

wow datz actually managed to hold onto the snow globe. kudos?

-

what the fuck

i think i heard it wrong but Dhurke’s objection sounds like an old man 

I'm pretty sure i heard it wrong 

missed the bass

-

who was that no– oh Garananana

i guess she's gonna be the final boss instead huh

- 

im so tired i cant even snark properly 

-

“is that kosher?”

i like it

-

oh god

what.... what is she wearing 

i mean

fuckin

TALK about madonna-whore complex. oh yeah, time to turn super evil?? bear your midriff! show off dem tiddies! 

look, SOJ. theres only one bad bitch in ace attorney who can pull off floaty tendril hair, and its NOT ga’ran.

i cant believe i have to look at this train wreck for the rest of the trial

-

“heh heh heh. its all coming back now. the feel of my blood pumping through my veins”

this is perhaps because youre actually moving now, your eminence.

-

can we just dispense with the trial and have a good old fashioned anime fight? cmon apollo, spike up that hair and grab your BFS. 

-

“meep”

WHATS WITH THE MEEPING

BONNY DID THAT TOO

SOJ ITS 2016 ...ACTUALLY ITS 2028 YOU HOLES

-

everyone in the court: :O what??? whats wrong with rayfa??? why is she sad???

oh i dunno maybe because her fucking Father just got brutally murdered?? maybe??

what the fuck is up with SOJ characters being dumb as a bag of bricks when it comes to other peoples’ feelings regarding death of loved ones???

-

phoenix: shits fucked, thats why?? apollo: OHHHHHHHHHHHHH

-

“seems like she's worse off today than she was yesterday”

hey game you'd better not be implying any shit 

-

“discipline”

soj

-

alright, back after another longass break. i can do this.

( That’s oddly compassionate of him, all things considered )

I was about to defend Nahyuta because what kind of person wouldn’t try to spare a child from witnessing that kind of trauma... but then again, this is the Sadmad who purposefully tried to trigger someone into losing a trial so

(shrug emoji)

-

grana’s gone into full HORHORHOR BITCH MODE 

partially I'm totally numb because i dont have any stakes in her newfound ebilness, and partially I'm tired of this weird new trend of child abuse in the new games 

- 

“Barbed head.”

oh my god 

the first person she goes to after realizing that her caretaker is gone is fucking Phoenix 

im gonna cry 

“ive been reduced to “royal robe remover”” NO NICK YOU’VE BEEN UPGRADED TO DAD BY SOMEONE WHO’S NOT YOU

( ‘It’s like she’s grooming Mr. Wright to be Nayna’s replacement’) 

I know this game is all about confusing bullshit for heartwarming moments and vice versa but guys 

good lord

my heart

i really needed that 

-

(sigh) they really couldn’t get someone who sounded like a fucking 14 year old to do her voice?? really???

-

rayfa: (looks like she's going to die and collapses)

apollo: this is not good...

gee apollo you really think so? 

-

wait a fuking second 

we went through the whole dance cutscene and we’re not even going to see the pool??? does that mean the priestess has to be conscious and present for the images to be visible? ...and how does that work, anyway? 

i just realized, a medium could use a pool to see the dead, but how the hell could they project it for others to see?? does she literally open a portal to hell???

(sigh) i just regret sitting through that cutscene again

-

“cabal of traitorous lawyers”

i love that

-

(Seriously Dhurke? This is no laughing matter.)

this basically sums up Dhurke’s entire personality 

...yknow, i know what they were trying to do with his character– i really do. i know he’s supposed to come off as a dashing, cavalier rebel who laughs in the face of danger. 

but they overshot endearingly irreverent and ploughed straight into fuckwaddome. if you want a character to be charming, they need softer moments too. Dhurke isn’t a bad person, but he’s kind of an asshole when you get right down to it, and nothing so far is proving otherwise. 

-

ok ive heard Dhurke’s Objection again and it doesn't sound like an old man– it just sounds about as overblown and ridiculous as Manfred von Karma’s (not to mention about as deep)

-

LET DHURKE SAY BITCH

... i guess

-

another perfect example of Dhurke being kind of a fuckwad: he keeps needling the queen and baiting her in ways that could get himself killed, which would be all fine and dandy if he were the brave resistance leader being tortured for information in the bowels of a dungeon.

...but here’s the thing.

IF YOU DIE, DHURKE, APOLLO AND PHOENIX DIE TOO. DID YOU FORGET ABOUT THE GODDAMN DC ACT? ITS NOT JUST YOUR DEAD ASS ON THE LINE HERE SO SHUT YOUR SASSY TRAP AND THINK ABOUT SOMETHING OTHER THAN YOUR *AMAZING WIT* FOR ONCE.

you’ve got 2 extra lives on the line here.

...3 if my suspicions are correct.

-

stop calling him son please you abandoned him in an orphanage and didnt contact him for 14 years.

...and if he can’t call you ‘dad’ you have no right to call him ‘son’

-

coming back to this after ghost trick has convinced me that one of ga’ran’s lackeys miiiiiight be related to Cabanela, baby

-

“Wright... I can see we are kindred spirits, you and I! Hah-ha ha ha ha ha!!”

NO

NO 

NO

NO

FUCK YOU DHURKE 

-

“It’s pretty easy to spot the difference between a soulless man and the soulless shell of a man”

ok that did get a laugh out of me, good job dhurke.

-

apollo: pls dont get us killed dhurke: mmmm ok ill try but I'm not promising anything lol

://///

-

“But remember, son, if you truly believe in me, you should be able to prove my innocence.”

do i even have to list how many reasons thats wrong and a shitty thing to say

-

“Such Insolence”

You’ve been beat out, Not So Fast

-

Ga’ran used Gust!

Apollo flinched and couldn’t move!

-

“I could behead you at any time”

she's got a point; she’s a fucking despot, there’s no reason to actually hold a trial. i mean i guess she wants to shut up the rebels but just killing them would be a lot easier and its not like she has any qualms about murder

-

“Aw shoot, ya got me.”

again, not an appropriate reaction for whats going on buddy

-

lol get fucked kjudge

-

DGFUFUS OH COOL

WE GOT GUILTY (excited cheers from the audience)

the applause and the shots of everyone with :O faces is making me feel like i just won a gameshow 

wheres my cheesy jingle 

-

also i love how Dhurke’s like “oh shit!! my assholishness has directly resulted in my son’s death!!! did NOT see that coming!!!!!!!!!”

-

again the sound mixing is drowning out the background music (sigh)

-

“your benevolence? I’d be happy to lend an ear if you’d like to talk!”

>this is it, this is why he leaves the series guys. Apollo is too good for these sinful games.

-

DAMNIT DHURKE, YOUR SHIT MOUTH IS RUBBING OFF ON YOUR SON

-

hmm

we’ve got an april may here

-

“Rayfa, I shall buy you a new servant”

so Kooraheen practices slavery..? I mean, she.... she said ‘buy’, not hire.

-

“she would have left shoeprints”

do

do you know what evaporation is your malevolence 

-

wait wait wait

that doesn't make any sense 

the only prints leading out are from Inga, but the prints inside the building are from Nayna? how did she avoid leaving prints leading inside, then?? did she just long-jump over the dirt path???

-

the guards are not fanboying, apollo, they’re toadying. there’s a difference.

-

apollo: maybe the place he was stabbed and the place he died were different 

(the game only continues after you carefully explain what dying of blood loss is three years later)

-

to be completely fair, there are actually stories of people who were unaware of being stabbed 

furthermore, when you get stabbed, you’re not going to be the most rational human being on earth. 

phoenix, don’t give sadmad that point, especially when he’s currently assaulting your protege 

now, as i was saying, Apollo’s suggestion that Inga was stabbed in the back and then ran into the temple is perfectly plausible; running to shelter from an attacker is probably the first thing you’d want to do when injured, and the tomb was a pretty safe place, i’d wager. 

tbh i really don’t know why they’re arguing about him feeling the pain as that wouldn’t really impair his movement considering he was stabbed in a place that wouldn’t affect his ability to walk???

but yeah apparently he was doped up to shit so 

-

...i highly doubt back pain medication is strong enough to negate a stab wound. on the other hand, if it is and your back pain is THAT intense, Inga, you need to see a fucking doctor pronto.

...yeah shots straight into the spine is one step away from surgery; not to be an asshole but I'm not sure Inga was doing so well anyway before he went 

-

huh. are they really gonna give us an actual choosable choice to abandon Dhurke and save our own skin? Cause that would be interesting; a lot like the old games where you could “”choose”” to defend a client or not.

to be clear here, though, i wouldn't choose “no” even as much as i dislike dhurke. we know (sigh) that he’s innocent, and even if i dont like him it’s our duty to defend his shitty ass

OH HOLY FUCK

THERES THE CHOICE

wow. y’know SOJ, i dont much like you, but you fuckin Did That. well done.

also thank you for the Justice pun it is much appreciated.

-

“And while I can’t say I’m used to it, this isn’t exactly my first rodeo”

FWHAT

>game flashes back to the Ahlbi case

DSKJFLS THIS IS LITERALLY THE “at second rodeo: this isn't my first rodeo” POST

-

YES OK WE’VE SEEN THIS CUTSCENE TWICE NOW ALREADY

WE GET IT, RAYFAS GOT COLD FEET ABOUT BEING QUEEN

MAYAS IN THE GAME 

OK

-

phoenix: allow me to mansplain how rayfa is feeling despite how fucking obvious it is. after all, we know our players have the mental and emotional capacity of goldfish!

oh hey mansplain is a legit word in the dictionary 

cool!

-

why are they building this up?? just fucking tell Rayfa to do her stupid dance again and get on with it; we already did this at the beginning of the trial 

-

“Hmm... Indeed. It would be problematic.”

ohohoooohohohhhihgjhgo

-

oh her nails are actually tiny pen 

thats neat 

thank goodness Kooraheeneese is an up-and-down written language– otherwise they’d have to make a whole new animation for the english game teehee

-

“....................But... Horn Head needs my help”

oh my heart

-

dan she just straight up begone’d her 

-

see the one thing that falls flat here is that, during a regular trial, the prosecution saying “oh, ok, have it your way; you can try to prove your theory” holds up a little more since they... you know. don’t have absolute power.

where as, with Garananana, its more like she's just a huge posturing pushover. especially since every other minute she's saying “ok, I'm gonna kill you for REAL now.”

-

rayfa: b but if i fail you'll be killed!!! i dont get it...

apollo: i literally just finished explaining that I'm 100% ready to die for my shitty job that was like 5 minutes ago

it is sweet to see that he’s cheering her on though. good big bro 

-

I'm finding small solace in this beautiful moment of “your foreign dad and bro are here for you babe reach for the stars”

Athena’s probably flashing a double thumbs up from the gallery too

-

“But... I finally know now. I know in what I can trust”

Bobby, from the afterlife: YOU’RE DOING AMAZING SWEETIE 

-

Garan: What??? my tiny 14 year old daughter is going to do a thing i don’t want her to??? fuck there’s no way i can shut her up. not even with all of my large adult man guards who could easily just escort her out of the courtroom without any resistance because they’re my fucking royal guards and I'm the Queen

-

oh shit she took off her own cape

im so glad i muted the game so her awful voice actress couldn’t ruin this cool moment

-

and now as this long ass cutscene plays out again, i simply cannot help but wonder about the poor choir and how long they’ve been on standby 

where do they keep the choir during trials 

whats it like singing the dance of devotion song every trial 

-

oh finally here we go. alright, lets see what the magic party pool has in store for us this time 

...o ...ok then

-

OH! OH SHIT 

Inga’s face blind?!

Y’know I did have a few thoughts about that when we discovered his notebook but I didn’t think they’d actually go that route... though, thinking about it now, it is pretty convenient.

...ok everyone’s freaking out. maybe they’ve never heard of face-blindness? ...or maybe its not face blindness after all

im pretty sure it is though

-

i dont know why but everyone being like FUCK ITS GOD and phoenix being like “whoops shits trippy now” made me laugh pretty hard

-

ok i gotta say I'm actually a little invested now, even if its just because i think face-blindness is an interesting thing to incorporate into a murder case. again, a convenient thing, but an interesting thing all the same.

-

ahh fuck i keep forgetting how the stupid seance works 

welp, there goes one of my souls... (sigh)

-

..apollo you dont need to show her the picture of her dead father to say “he had a cell phone”.

-

the voice was coming from INSIDE THE PHONE 

-

RAYFA HAS A PET FROG????

WHAT

SHOW US THE FROG SOJ

SHOW US THE FROG! SHOW US THE FROG! SHOW US THE FROG! 

-

...why would Rayfa interpret the sound of the warbaa’d (something she’s familiar with) with a lion’s roar (something she’s unfamiliar with) ??

-

oh i see thats why Vore Machine is an idiot 

for plot convenience 

-

Datz Are’bal, a man who throws fire crackers at children.

...sounds like an are’bal guy.

bahdum-tshh

-

“The joker who got a kick out of startling Ahlbi with his Dragon Snot Snaps”

...something tells me that if Datz found out about Youtube, he’d be one of those “””prank””” channels.

also WHY ARE THEY CALLED SNOT SNAPS

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

-

“happy-go-lucky”

i think you mean vaguely sociopathic

-

(sigh) ive finally been worn down to the point where i need a walkthrough. ive... been beaten...

-

boy ahlbi’s just a font of knowledge isn't he 

-

DID SHE JUST BREAK HER NAILS OFF

PLEASE SAY THOSE WERE STICK ONS

HOL SHIT

-

MMMM LAY IT ON ME NICK

face blindness 

... i mean theyre not calling it that but thats what it is 

-

yeah yeah channeling blah blah come on! youre in the LAND of channeling !

-

shduhjahdjk

I'm picturing Inga running into his own dead body and flipping his shit 

-

oh man. thats the end of Trail 2 part 1.

guess i’ll see you guys on the other side... heheh.