#goofy audio with my favourite goofy man

[tessari-the-dreamer]

Who doesn't love goofy audios? :D

My friends, I present to you an audio that I had a lot of fun making. It is based on the beginning of chapter 13 of the story titled Blooms and Brews (previously known as The Herbologist and the Potion-maker) by @amberlide. She is one of my dearest friends that feeds me with Garreth content ❤️ I highly encourage you to read her story with Garreth and her OC Penny! Hear me out! Give it a shot! You won't regret it ;) Here is the link to the story.

AO3:

Wattpad:

Below the cut, I paste a fragment from the chapter so that you can better understand the audio context!

Audio is made in two versions. Classic one and slightly surround sound one. Let me know if I should fiddle with that idea more in future projects! Enough of talking! Enjoy! :)

"I finally got it!" The door swung open, bumping into the wall with a loud thud as an overly excited Leander made his entrance, his grin so wide it covered half of his face.

However, his enthusiasm lasted only as long as it took to assess the scene in front of him, when he strode into the bathroom on the third floor. The room was a complete and utter mess, with ingredients and items scattered everywhere.

Bouncing bulbs quivered in the corners, some of them sliced on the chopping board or in the sink, while others were reduced to powder in mortars. The walls were plastered with what looked like Flitterby moth juice, the orange from their wings glowing, adding an ethereal touch to the chaos.

Leander noticed some of the moths still alive, fluttering their wings near the windows, emitting a low hum, seemingly eager to escape the crime scene.

How could he blame them?

Plus, a weird pungent smell was lingering in the room, and it was not coming from the cauldron or the empty stalls, most likely from the chopping board, could it be some sort of plant, foxglove?

What were they doing with a poisonous plant?

It was absolutely the first time that Leander had seen Garreth's laboratory so messed up.

His friend was usually very careful when preparing his brews, except for his own Better than Butterbeer creation, which always seemed to bring chaos wherever he attempted to prepare it.

To avoid touching anything in the cluttered room, Leander abruptly stopped in the middle of the scene, the glass shard from a broken pipette crunched under his shoes. At the same time, a blindfolded Garreth bumped against the separator between two stalls, scattering leaves and chopped ingredients everywhere on the floor, muttering curses under his breath.

Penton, on the other hand, sat on a small table with his legs crossed, completely oblivious to the others. He appeared to be lost in his own homework but looked more disheveled than usual, with his hair sticking out in all directions and his tie more loosely hanging from under his uniform jumper.

When Lee barged in, he almost didn't raise his head from his books, not even when a half-cut Bouncing bulb started to roll around in the sink, splashing water everywhere.

Sensing the intrusion, Garreth made to raise the bandage from his eyes, but Penelope was faster. "Don't you dare!" she hissed, swinging her wand menacingly, as if the other could see her.

Slowly, Garreth placed the blindfold back, with a resigned sigh.

Leander took a step back, almost slipping in a puddle of water, sensing some tension between the two.

"What's happening here?" he asked, gripping the sink, his voice raising in concern as he cast suspicious looks from one boy to the other.

"Nothing important, just a little ruse," jested Garreth, almost bumping his head against the toilet seat in his attempt to kneel down and collect the ingredients on the floor.

He heard Penelope huff in annoyance, "I can tell you, Lee," she murmured, swinging her legs on the edge of the table, her oversized trousers reaching the soles of her shoes.

"Mr. Brewsley here started to complain that after all this time, I cannot tell the difference between chopping and mincing. And he's blaming my skills, when I do have a poor eyesight," she rolled her eyes behind her glasses, which were half-covered in some sort of reddish slick.

"Hey!" interrupted Garreth, "I also have a sight problem," he tried to raise his blindfold, but Penelope cut him off.

"So, since he's so skilled, he said he can prepare a Pompion Potion with his eyes closed. So here we are, testing his theory," she exclaimed, her tone still sour.

"And if I manage it, you're going to drink it!" added Garreth with a playful tone.

"Sure, you should thank me that I didn't ask you to bind your arm behind your back as you suggested; you're taking ages to finish," Penelope leaned against the tile wall behind her, eyeing Garreth.

"You know that foxglove is toxic, right? If I don't put the right amount, you're going to die," retorted Garreth.

"Then you have to show off your ability and make it right. Besides, nothing can be more lethal than your toilet water."

"Wow, you're a bit cranky today, Pen. What happened?" Leander raised his eyebrow, trying to look concerned. However, the sight of his friend on all fours, desperately trying to rake up foxglove from the floor, was too amusing, and he couldn't stifle a chuckle.

That little Hufflepuff surely brought some fresh air in that stale bathroom.

Penelope shrugged but didn't answer.

In truth, something had indeed happened. After all her efforts to grow the Moody Hyacinths, she had lost more than half of them just because some troll head had decided to move her pots around the compartment, placing them next to the Screechsnap, which totally ruined their blooms with their incessant squeaking and irritable temper.

She didn't want to admit that she had also ruined some of her own with her swinging mood of the last few days, as she had overheard some worrying whispering between Natty and Garreth involving Poppy Sweeting and what seemed like a date.

"What did you come here for, Lee? You seemed quite enthusiastic," Garreth rose and turned around to check where the next stall was, his hands swinging in the air as he tried to locate the silhouette of the cauldron without burning himself.

"I managed to find out what those pesky Slytherins are planning…" Leander started, finally getting to the reason why he was actually there in the first place. After more than a month, he had managed to find out, thanks to his sneaky abilities, which were top-notch as usual.

He advanced confidently into the room, squared his shoulders, leaned against the lavatory, crossed his arms, and prepared himself with a wide smile to savor the expression on Garreth's face, since he was the only one who didn't believe him.

"You mean the Halloween party?"

Leander widened his gaze and slumped his shoulders, turning to face Penton.

"How in Merlin's name…"

Penelope shrugged closing her book with nonchalance.

"It's been a week since I started selling flowers to the Slytherins. The boys are paying good prices to impress their partners. Apparently, vampires are used to put a white flower in their pocket,” she murmured, remembering how she had managed to steal and sell some of the white Fanged geraniums from Prof. Garlick.

She had also sold all the Trumpet Daffodils, which were surely brightening up someone's day in the Slytherin dorm with all their fuss. But at least they were out of her greenhouse; the flowers had become increasingly noisy and excited lately with all the coming and going of students, causing her more than one headache.

"Are you selling flowers?" Garreth pushed his blindfold up, casting a surprised look at her.

"Of course! Five knuts each, minimum. What do you think?" she asked, hoping for a word of encouragement.

"That you are a thief!" answered the other. "Five knuts for a flower? Are you kidding me? Not even  my toilet water costs that much!"

"You really don't want to know the maximum price…"

"We are talking Slytherins…" interrupted Lee, "Not the brightest," he raised his hand, "great work Pen!" he exclaimed, clapping her in a high five.

[bazpire]

Unpopular opinions about redacted Audio (if I get cancelled, remember me as the sexy, hot, smart little nuisance I used to be)

I do not hate any of the characters that are normally hated, because I just don't care about them.

Kody? Whatever, he was a prop, barely a character.

Adam? Incel vibes, grosses me out.

Alexis? I wish she had more screen time and more development because there is so much potential. She clearly is more than just shitty bitchy vampire princess.

Cutie? To be completely honest, Geordi is kind of unnerving on his lack of action and communication, no wonder they felt like they had to read his mind (not an excuse, still awful behaviour, but fucking hell man)

That doesn't mean that I love them or that I love every character. Of course, there are characters that I dislike! Like Porter and... no, I think that's it, I just heavily dislike Porter for no other reason than because he was mean to Vincent. Vincent isn't even my favourite. Sam also gave me the ick. For no reason, he just did, I go "ew" every time I hear him (lol, sorry, I really don't have a reason. I just randomly got the ick)

Also the whole fandom has a moral problem. I mean that there are people here that ride a moral high horse for enjoying/not enjoying something that's fictional.

You don't like the caller because he's a yandere, but because he's a good character? Perfect! But don't be out here bragging about it feeling better than people that do like him because he's a yandere.

Also people hating on others for simping for characters that they deem bad. Like Blake.

Please, one real problem I ask of you.

I love y'all, but some of y'all have not had an actual problem like ever and it shows. Please, be so for real.

Anyway, that was it! At the end of the day this is all silly goofy and none of the characters are real and it does not affect reality (and if it does, it isn't fault of the creator or other fans, some people can't separate fiction from reality and that is responsibility of those specific people to handle themselves in the Internet. It is not the responsibility of fans that can and do.)

Kisses and be safe, remember that I'm just another person on the Internet and my opinions, as much as you agree or disagree with them, do not change your life in any meaningful way!

[koskela-knights]

An Ode to Peter Franzén's performance

Once again thinking about Peter’s acting skills on full display in Alan Wake 2 which made the majority of the audience think the Koskelas were portrayed by two separate actors (I thought it too for quite some time!)

He basically played 4 different characters and he doesn't get enough credit or praise for this so here we go!

1 & 2 The Koskela Brothers

Thinking how he managed to make them distinctly different in not just the obvious outfits and hair but posture and gesture-wise too, even their voices. Jaakko is calmer, doesn't accentuate as much as Ilmo who is very vivid and energetic, using big gestures and talking with a lot of vigor.

(Photo by @amiracleilluminated)

Yet, Jaakko can be intimidating and aggressive. Most obvious is the jail scene but in the prologue, Cultist Jaakko comes off as a sturdy man and if you listen to the audio files on his (albeit distorted) voice, he is really pissed off.

(like I wouldn't wanna mess with Cultist Jaakko 😳 photo by @zephyrone01)

On a final note on the Koskelas, the goofy acting of Ilmo and mainly Jaakko's obvious bad acting are a whole thing on their own to pull off. To make it believable enough without it looking too forced or awkward in a bad way. But damn did Peter deliver and nail it.

3 The Cultist

Then u have the Cultist. Who sounds cockier than Ilmo and more seductive in a femme fatale kinda way. His gestures aren’t as grand as Ilmo’s but are still present and readable as just a silhouette. Even though we can't see his facial expressions, Peter's voice and his body language really gave this character a personality.

4 Ilmari Huotari

Last but definitely not least u got YY Ilmari, the murderer. He speaks Finnish but even that language difference aside, he speaks so differently. More calculated and his posture is straighter than Ilmo's. In this movie, you really see the subtle facial expressions. Sometimes blink and u miss it (like the snarl) Ilmari has a predatory stance and look when he confronts Kesä.

(These 3 different faces are maybe only a few seconds apart from each other!)

And that cool, calculated posture is fully gone when he goes into that killing frenzy a few minutes later. I screenshotted the hell out of YY and u can see Ilmari’s forehead vein poppin, he had crazy wild eyes that the Koskelas didn't have (there's a reason the Dark Presence wanted to turn them into the Huotari brothers).

5 Bonus distinctions

Also I notice that the Koskelas and Ilmari all do the head tilt but they're all different in vibes.

(ilmo & jaakko pics by @amiracleilluminated, Cultist Jaakko by @zephyrone01)

Cute head tilts vs determined, stalkerish looks

All characters also have noticeable changes in their attitudes

a) Ilmo: usually happy, very talkative and expressive becomes all depressed and muted and audibly grieving after Jaakko's brutal death. And during Deerfest he becomes manic and self-destructive (listen to his lines like: "stab me again, please")

(photos by @zephyrone01 & Cinematic Gameplays on YouTube)

b) Jaakko: usually less expressive, more subtle in his reactions becomes all aggressive and angry in the jail (and in the prologue)

(Photos by @zephyrone01)

c) Ilmari: as talked in his section, he can go from collected and cool to aggressive and a terrific murderer real quickly.

Honestly, if you make a closeup of just their eyes, even their eyes seem distinct from one another.

How are they all Peter Franzén??!??

All in all, Peter Franzén did a stellar job with these characters 🙌 He really showed a wide range of emotions and personalities, even within the same character at times.

Of all works I've seen him play in, his performance in Alan Wake 2 continues to be my favourite work of his.

[tillywunderwing]

🎙️, 🤝, and 🧨 for the ask game.,,,.,

OKAY. LISTEN. this ask has been sitting in my drafts forfuckingever because I couldn't attach the audio file for the first question on my phone, and I thought 'well okay I'll just answer it on my laptop later'

I proceeded to Forget. ANYWAY. Totally hinged rambling under the cut

🎙️ What’s your favourite (used or unused) voice line in the games?

okay this is SUCH a specific pick but I’m personally really fond of THIS unused line for when you equip the winter gloves in I3YTD:

"I can't say I approve of you wearing any kind of Zoraxis branding on your clothing, but I do approve of you not catching a cold. Care comes first!"

it's just... i just... RRRGH he's so SILLY and it's like, such a simple little quote that kind of perfectly captures everything I love about his character. Like, you know, he's opinionated, but he's also kind of goofy and so softhearted, he cares so much about the player and their health... and for similar reasons I'm also going to shout out this line (that DOES get used in I3YTD) from Cold Shoulder (this one even comes with gameplay!):

“I don’t think that gondola is blizzard-certified, Agent... Those winds are too much! AGENT—!”

Just, the panic in his voice. The terror. So many of the deaths in these games are kind of, blink-and-it's-over, but this one... he can see it's about to happen. He has enough time to realise he's about to watch his favourite agent die. And you can hear that in his voice I think... the way it builds in pitch, and even the progressing certainty in what he's saying, 'I don't think' to 'those winds are'. We are listening to this man realise he's about to lose someone he cares about a lot. And that someone is us. Don't look at me DUDE DON'T LOOK AT MEEEE

(Can you tell the Handler is my favourite character? Because the Handler is my favourite character.) ahem I'm normal I promise I am

Now this probably could bring us to our next point... "🤝"... however I do actually have ANOTHER neglected ask in my inbox that asks the same question. And I think I am going to save the inevitable essay for its own post there LMAOOO so I will answer this question but. elsewhere. Soon

so instead all this talk of my favourite character will bring us to our other next point:

🧨If you put your two favourite characters in a room for five minutes how many people would die?

Hm. Okay. This is. A difficult question because it means I definitively have to pick a second favourite character. Reggie is a given--

I'm gonna let Ollie be the other one, because I like his voice, and I like his attitude, and I like him. Him and Reggie would get along famously if you put them in a room together, I don't think there's any question about that. Perhaps too famously, though. I think they would get too caught up in gossip over tea, and lose track of all time and obligations. So, to answer 'how many people would die', first I would need to know how many people are in the building(s) Phoenix sets fire to while nobody responsible is looking.

[devilish-parrot]

TELL BE ABOUT CAR SEAT HEADREST NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YAAAAAYYYYY enjoy my disorganised yapping

okokokokokok sO

imagine this. its the late 2000's. will toledo, a gay guitarist and probably based-on-lyrical-content depressed high school student starts a band named nervous young men. they release a couple albums (like four i think) he tells a couple friends about it and ppl in school so hes got a couple listeners already

its 2010. the summer after will graduated from school. he releases four albums in four months under the name car seat headrest to bandcamp. these are called the numbered albums, because their names are numbers. (my favourite is three) these were very loop based. he didnt tell anyone about it to see how many listeners hed get and it wasnt more than 100. the audio quality is so bad. theyre not on spotify :(

(my fav numbered album is three because A) the cover is made by cate wurtz (ill get to her in a second), B) portait of the artist as a young fag is a great song C) he makes callbacks to a couple of these songs on a later album (he keeps making callbacks its so great) and D) oh starving is here which is on living while starving which ill talk about later

the one-man-band car seat headrst is named so because he recorded the instruments on his computer in his house, and the vocals (again on the computer) in his car. he did all the instruments himself.

so cate wurtz! shes an artist who dated will and now theyre friends. i love her art style so fucking much, ive started reading one of her web comics. she did some of the cshr album covers and some of the cshr lyric books (eg my back is killing me baby cover and booklet). he has written. SO many songs about her and albums.

theres some albums that arent on bandcamp anymore like sunburned shirts and disjecta membra.

will had this scrapped project called stabby ode, which is one of my fav cshr albums. he reversed abbey road songs and looped them and played music on top of it and BOOM new music is made. this project was scraped and so these songs were moved onto an album named littlle pieces of paper with no written on them.

2011 - there was gonna be a fifth numbered album but it was renamed to my back is killing me baby aka mbikmb. its on spotify too! i rlly like this one. the song open-mouthed-boy is goofy oh my god

then, will starts working on an album called twin fantasy. this is his most popular album, and how alot of people are introduced to cshr. he releases a couple demos to tumblr. wee

twin fantasy releases and og wow. i am a sucker for concept albums. this ones about will being sad and gay and its about his relationship with cate (i read somewhere that shes a tgirl and they dated before she was out. idk how true this is though) my fav track is beach life-in-death its thirteen minutes and it references songs from three and it kicks ass. he references ana ng by they might be giants on the track cute thing! cate made the lyric booklet

will toledo is a furry and if you look at his album covers (especially mbikmb or twink fantasy) you can probably tell. his fursona is a jackrabbit named mortis

2012 - next album is monomania, another concept about cate, but this time its a break up album. v good album. souls is my fav track

2013 - next is the living while starving ep, which is one of my favourite eps of all tine (if it werent for devil moon. i dont like that song) theres a song on here called its only sex. thats one of his most popular songs, and its how i was introduced to the band. (the vid u reblogged from me was that song its so good) i cant choose a favourite. he made this album while messing about on logic (the music making programme)

next is nervous young man, title being a callback to his band nervous young men. its like two hours long. its basically a compliation album of a buncha songs he wrote between the ages of 17-21. he wanted it to kinda be like those top hits of an artist cds from all different albums. ive only heard less than half of this album but i love everything ive heard. fav track is definetly boxing day.

2014 - next is how to leave town. i havent heard it. he wrote the songs while he was moving across america so the whole album has that theme

2015 - will is signed to a record label named matador records and there are more people in the band now!!! their names are andrew katz the drummer, ethan ives the other guitarist and backup vocalist and seth dolby the bassist. they can record music in an actual studio now and these people know what theyre doing with their instruments so the quality is much better.

together they release an album called teens of style. there are new songs on here but also remakes of older cshr songs. nice album, fav song is probably something soon

2016 - they put together a proper new album with amazing audio quality and its called teens of denial. this is also how a lot of people are introduced to the band. i cant choose a fav track this album is so good

2018 - around this time, a band that car seat headrest is touring with, called naked giants, join forces with car seat headrest so now theres like 7 people in the band. their names are henry the precussion guy, gianni the bass in naked giants and keyboard in cshr and grant the other other guitarist

now that there are a shit ton of people in the band, will doesnt play much guitar and instead jumps and dances and screams around in live preformances

also they they remake twin fantasy with this bigger budget. lyrics are changed, song lengths are extended, audio is inporved. the 2011 version is called mirror to mirror or mtm and 2018 ver is called face to face or ftf. the new lyric booklet includes pictures of hojin stella jungs series of paintings called the lady. she talks about her paintings on the track high to death. i think shes a friend of wills

2019 - LIVE ALBUM LUVE ALBUM LIVE ALBUM LIVE ALBUM I LOVE LIVE ALBUMS

2020 - making a door less open (or madlo) relases and i have not heard this one. i think this ones more electronic than others. the cover is by cate and its lovely

2021 - they release madlo remixes and madlo influences (cover songs!!!). i havent heard either of them but the covers are again done by cate

2023 - ANOTHER LIVE ALUM and the whole time is will is either fursuiting or wearing a costume from andrew the drummers side project 1trait danger. i cant tell you anything about 1td other than will keeps dressing as a guy named trait with rabbit ears, a gas mask and bright orange costruction man jacket

also on the first day of pride month will released a five minute vertical video explaining what patreon is, and letting fans know that theyre on there now. i am so jealous of anyone whos subscribed to them i need to get a job lowest tier is only three dollars a month

no music since then :( will is doing monthly patreon streams yay also they have msic videos that are good. i like the something soon music videos (yes theres two. one from over a decade ago thats will dancing in his dormitory and you cant see his face. other is done with full band)

FAV CSHR PREFORMANCES!!!

cover of uncontrollable urge live on kexp radio 2018(?)

drunk drivers/ killer whales live at rock the garden 2017. he is so hot here ohhh myyy goood swooon (i mean, i swoon every time i see a photo of him soooo)

august 23rd 2013, wills 21st birthday. live at speaktree, he and three other people (katy on guitar, aurther on drums and joe-hawley-lookalike austin on bass) preform the only live preformance of jerks. im pretty sure will was drunk there lol

even though cshr was a one man band for a long time, he did live preformances with other people.

last time i counted how many cshr albums there are, i got like 28. rest in piss.

ive noticed that, while trying to learn their songs on guitar, that they use a lot of barre chords yipee :) which is where you put your index finger across the other fret board and use your other three fingers all over the place. unfortunetly i cant sing as low as will :(

so yeah theres a buncha info about them i did with no research so sorry if things are wrong. tis was probably quite disorganised lol

[doctor-octiddius]

This ended up being a long ramble about Siddig's characters whoops

Every time i think about Sid I want to fall to my knees sobbing. I feel like that gif of the wailing emoji that is disintegrating, like just knowing that this man exists gets me so aourhgrhghghhh :'(( I cannot believe that Julian Bashir and Ra's al Ghul are played by the same man; as in, I was incredibly into Gotham back in 2017, a little just before he joined the show and now years later he is stuck in my brain again. I remember every damn frame of him. How is that this same guy. (I wrote "gay" at first, help me 😭 I mean hey, with Sid saying that he played all his straight characters as a bit gay, anything's possible) Also i haven't really interacted with this whole Sid hyperfixation in a lil bit and it's making me so sad, god forbid i have other interests.

Actually, I lied, I keep relistening to the audio dramas he's been in. I'm now hijacking my own post to yell about some of his audio drama characters because they are my favourites ever of all time.

ROSTO FROM THE EIGHT DOCTOR ADVENTURES (Sisters of the Flame/Vengeance of Morbius)

My babygirl being a 10 foot tall centipede cop ??? It's more likely than you think !!! He is literally just that. That's all he is. He makes funky bug sounds when he talks, he's a bit silly, he's so cute, he disconnected himself completely from his home to focus on his job... I love him so bad, I want to hug him, but I think that's a form of affection he just wouldn't understand, but I am willing to try anything. I am ignoring his ending, I was able to save him actually and now he's all good again and we are best friends <3

THE SULTAN/THE SHANAKI FROM DOCTOR WHO: THE MONTHLY ADVENTURES (1001 Nights)

WE GET SID AS THE DOCTOR FOR A BIT TECHNICALLY ??? But also The Shanaki... OOUGGHGHH THE SHANAKI...... This guy has lived through several lifetimes and boy do I need to know all of them. What lives has he led exactly? Like, he could have been anyone, any celebrity, any public figure. What did he do to all of the people whose psyches he stole? Has he actually learned anything through them; have they only ever been human lives? How did the breakdown at the end with him mixing up lives and experiences influence him further on? Please I need to know everything about him immediately.

DR. REESE FROM ALIEN: RIVER OF PAIN

Motherfucker named Bartholomew Reese. He's a bitch. I love him. That is all. Thank you. (I read the book too, and every little description of him I ate up, though the book seemed kinda boring, lacking any suspense etc. I loved the little bit of regret he had before his end, which wasn't shown in the audio at all, even if it was very short and simple.)

THE PERSIAN FROM THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA

Don't even get me started on this one. The Persian in general is like my favourite character of all time, but him played by Sid? I am so biased in so many ways. My PotO hyperfixation has led me to so many places, and all I've learnt is that the ALW musical, which I used to worship as a kid, is mid (story wise, I still love the music), and everyone keeps fucking getting rid of the most important character of the story. This audio drama is so good, it's quite faithful to the book, it's the best adaptation in my opinion, I am in love with this daroga.

I feel like I have to mention Ted from The Flat Edge of the Earth, but I have to relisten to it to better form an opinion on all that (I say that since I've listened to all the other audio dramas at least like four times (PotO near 30 times, but we won't talk about that). That's the same reason I haven't mentioned Captain Nemo from one of the DW audios either since I've only heard that once.) He seems very goofy, though, and having just an hour of Sid and Nana in my ears was fun.

But yeah, that is all. If you read through this entire ramble then hi hey :3 I am so normal about his roles

[trans-spidey]

if u want- fnaf 6 thoughts? 🤠

anon I always want to share my thoughts on fnaf especially my favourite fnaf game

fnaf six was one of the most lore rich games in the series as well as frankly one of the games with the most actual,,, game. the two sections it's split into both contain lore you can stumble upon and actively seek out

I mostly enjoy how narratively rich it is, Henry finally shows up, and (sorry steel wool enjoyers) in my opinion would've been a perfect end to the franchise, even UCN being the last game would've been, frankly, perfect. The Henry monologue at the end ties all the strings together into a nice, satisfying bow.

Charlie, Elizabeth, the MCI1 kids (it got kinda retconned? from what I've heard that instead of deconstructing the suits in fnaf 3 William was stealing the remnant to power the funtimes,) Henry and Mike all got peace, they got laid to rest. The darkest pit of hell opened for William and we see that firsthand in UCN (which is why I think you can see these games going hand in hand really) and finally they get to rest.

In the insanity ending you get information on how shit in the fazbear universe works, you learn about RASCS (the audio lures that you use in fnaf 3 to lure springtrap that sound like children) you see blueprints for the scooper and you learn that Michael survived because the scooper had a remnant injector as well as the fact the stuff we already knew it could do. Even in the cut content (but still canon) we learn about molten freddy and that funtime freddy is possessed as well as baby.

Plus in the tycoon section we see William luring Suzie away and we learn potentially why crying child was scared of the springlock suits (in my opinion the 3 toed footprints outside his window could likely only be explained as spring bonnie, if it was the nightmares it would make more sense to be all of them, and the spring bonnie suit would make sense as William trying to frighten his son) and we get the connection between the colour of the fredbear plush from fnaf 4 and William confirming that he was the one speaking through it (you see the plush with a walkie talkie in fnaf 4)

it introduces new fazbear characters who show up later also, while I'm not the biggest fan of steel wool lore wise? I do enjoy security breach's gameplay and seeing el chip and music man was a nice touch. and it has candy cadet and the security puppet which re-shows Charlie's death with one key difference that overall security puppet and the midnight motorists "later that night" section seems to display the whole night of Charlie's death. we learn most of the MCI1 kids names.

it feels so full of love for the fans and it feels like the perfect conclusion. even the gameplay aspects, it feels like the perfect balance of goofy fun stuff and horror that fnaf has always been with the goofy character design but the absolute fright of being stuck with them all coming at you.

idk man I just love the game, its a mix of narrative and gameplay and a satisfying ending to the series, with some of the nostalgia bc SL and fnaf 6 were the games to bring me back into the series after falling out around fnaf 3

[carterreviewsmovies]

Big Daddy (1999) Review

Big Daddy Directed by Dennis Dugan

Year Released: 1999 Duration: 93 Minutes Filming Format: 35mm Video: Colour Audio: Dolby 2.0 Surround Language: English Aspect Ratio: 1.85:1 Joey Lauren Adams Marathon 1/3

Adam Sandler's 1999 film, Big Daddy, tells the story of Sonny Koufax (Adam Sandler), a law school dropout, living in comfort on the settlement money he had earned a year prior (due to an altercation with a taxicab). Life is drastically changed for Sonny when a boy named Julian (Cole Sprouse, Dylan Sprouse) is dropped at his door. The child turns out to be the illegitimate son of Sonny's roommate Kevin Garrity (Jon Stewart) who is away on business in China. In a convoluted scheme to prove he is responsible to his girlfriend, Sonny decides to pose as Kevin to social services, caring for the child himself.

Sonny begins by allowing Julian to make his own decisions such as picking his clothing, what he eats, when he sleeps, etc. While this parenting method makes Julian happy, it quickly unravels once he is enrolled in school. The teacher quickly complains about Julian’s lack of progress, personal hygiene, fashion sense, and tendency to relieve himself on the walls or in potted plants. Finally grasping the severity of the situation, Sonny makes a change with the aide of Layla (Joey Lauren Adams) in raising Julian. The hard work put into both Julian’s development and Sonny's maturing as an adult is soon tested when social services begin to ask questions regarding Sonny's true identity.

While Big Daddy did not perform as well with critics as its preceding films (Roger Ebert gave the film one and a half stars out of four), it is a turning point in Sandler's career. Once known for his raunchy, nonsensical, and abrasive comedy, we now see a softer side to Sandler's character. We see a man who wants to change, a man who deep down craves responsibility and leaves behind his younger years of partying for something more meaningful.

The film also serves as, what I believe to be, a very important part of modern history in the terms of Hollywood's transition in accepting the LGBT community. Peter Dante and Allen Covert play two guys who were a part of Sonny's law school friend group. They, later on, discover their sexuality and are now in a relationship. While occasionally taking shots at their expense (in a good-hearted fashion) and Jonathan Loughran's character expressing visible discomfort, the film shows us men that are willing to at least try to understand. Sonny at one point explains to Layla "Nothing really changed, we just watch a different kind of porno now." This line drives across the main theme of love the film presents. In a notoriously misogynistic, prejudiced industry, we have one of the world's most popular comedians exclaiming it doesn't matter who you love, and that acceptance and caring are learned virtues that can be attained as long as you're willing to be open-minded.

At times the jumps from humour to sentimentality can be jarring but I feel it works in favour of the film. The transition of emotions is messy, but so is raising a child. It's messy, chaotic, confusing, and overwhelming. Sometimes things don't make sense but things will work out if you persist in your love for your child, partner, or friend.

Overall one of my favourites of Sandler's 90s movie run, ranking close to Billy Maddison. Sandler in his earlier years is obsessed with the theme of having to grow up and he has somewhat manifested this theme in his own life. We all know and love the goofy SNL era of Adam Sandler, many of us even love his raunchy later-in-life comedies like Grown Ups (mostly for nostalgia's sake), and we get to see him as a mature actor now in films like Punch Drunk Love and Uncut Gems.

-- Carter

[kaheeliez]

i wanted to recommend some songs that are good "starter" songs in my opinion!!

TLDR; this list ended up pretty long so if I had to pick just 10 songs to show to someone they'd be:

Brass Goggles (Album One)

Captain Albert Alexander (Album One)

Electricity Is In My Soul (Album One)

The Suspender Man (The 2-Cent Show)

Automatonic Electronic Harmonics (The 2-Cent Show)

Mecto Amore (MK III)

I'll Rust With You (MK III)

Fire Fire (The Vice Quadrant, Pt. 1)

Transform (1896)

Intertwined (1896)

in this list if you click on the bold song names it'll link to the music video (or music video-adjacent) for the song if applicable, or just the audio on youtube if not. be aware that the older videos will feature pre-transition rabbit (pre-2014), and may also feature certain members who have since been kicked out from the band for their actions.

Album One:

(album one & 2-cent show are pretty good albums to start with in general, they contain a lot of the spg songs that are considered classics and many of them are still on their set lists nowadays!)

Brass Goggles - goes into a little detail about the band's in-universe origins! i am a strong proponent of the theory that the more chaotic the performance of this song, the better it sounds -pls see the 2018 denver colorado performance as an example. zero stomping makes a camera fall over it’s so good. lead by rabbit

Electricity Is In My Soul - each robot gets a verse in this song. the 2009 version has spine, rabbit, upgrade and jon singing, the steamworld heist version includes hatchworth's verse. there isn't an official recording of zero's verse yet but there is a video on youtube that has all the verses

Captain Albert Alexander - one of the band's classic story songs! this one's about a legendary pirate captain!! this one is lead by the spine but rabbit has some elaborate mime choreography to go with it and i love her

I Am Not Alone - the one and only song led by upgrade! this song is about finding courage in yourself. upgrade's actor erin has such a pretty voice

Clockwork Vaudeville - a song about a fair the bots performed at once! lead by the spine

The 2-Cent Show

Steamboat Shenanigans - honestly the title sums it up pretty well. welcome aboard the ss biscuiteer! this one is lead by the spine but it's a group song mostly. the live version also slaps and has some silly choreography

Me & My Baby (Saturday Nights) - this song has walter workers chelsea and camille join the bots on stage for a dance, it's very very cool :)) you can see it here! the spine sings lead on this one

Rex Marksley - a story song about a famed gunslinger! the music video for this is just david bennett dressed up as a cowboy pulling goofy faces and twirling a gun. lead by the spine

Ju Ju Magic - this song really encapsulates the jon's,,,, jon-ness! very fun song

Automatonic Electronic Harmonics - a robot-flavoured cowboy song lead by the spine! the pre-song bit for this one has the bots get up to all sorts of wild west shenanigans it's so funny

Honeybee - the most well known song by the band ever. very pretty though - tragic breakup song lead by rabbit.

The Suspender Man - banging story song about a man who sold his soul to the bog in exchange for sick banjo skills. lead by rabbit. this one is also very good live

MK III

Mecto Amore - honestly i don't know how to describe this one. but it's such a banger. lead by rabbit

Hatch Fever - a hatchworth-centric song, as the name would suggest, that recounts rabbit and spine finding him in a package!! sibling vibes are off the charts in this one

Go Spine Go - 6 minutes and 14 seconds of hatchworth and rabbit bullying the spine to no end.

I'll Rust With You - the sapphic song ever. a very upbeat song lead by rabbit about some of her past lovers that she's since outlived. one of my personal favourites it's very groovy

Wired Wrong - robot sad song :( lead by the spine

Turn Back The Clock - another tragic rabbit song about people she's outlived. this is a pretty common theme for rabbit jsdfsd this time it's about a little girl called julia who frequents spg concerts, and rabbit watching her grow older and eventually pass away whilst julia's partner and child still go to the concerts. this song makes me sob,,,, oughhhhhhhhh rabbitttt,,,, and to top it off there's a beautiful ballet performance by chelsea and camille to accompany it

notes about VQ: if you want to get a handle on the story, listen to the songs in order and read the VQ timeline. i also recommend watching their vice quadrant fortnight series on youtube, which has all the band members explaining a little about the story and writing process of their respective songs. the songs listed below can be enjoyed with limited context/understanding of the story. but i think you should read the story cause there's a gay alien space cowboy. if that doesn't sell you on it idk what will

The Vice Quadrant, pt. 1

On A Crescendo - gentle, optimistic yet slightly apprehensive song about space travel. david said in a vice quadrant fortnight video that he pictures it as being about the protagonist of the vice quadrant (peter walter iv) and his father (peter walter ii). lead by the spine

Fire Fire - wonderful song about an astronaut witnessing his crewmates burn to death in a fire! i also highly recommend this beautiful live version of the song. lead by the spine

Star Valley Night - a silly song about why people might wish for it to be night rather than day. this one's a group song!

The Vice Quadrant, pt 2

Soliton - woah science! a sweet love song on the surface, but the lyrics are a little uhh strange sounding!! the relationship the song describes is definitely a pretty unhealthy one. sung by the astronaut peter walter iv (the protagonist of the vice quadrant's omega timeline, played by david michael bennett [who also plays the spine]) and the giant cosmic space lady that is cosmica, the daughter of space (played by chelsea penyak, who also plays walter worker chelsea)

The Pulls - this one's got a. strange music video for sure. an unconventional but gentle love song lead by hatchworth. i actually love this one

Over The Moon - this song is so sorely underrated it's so lovely and i am determined to show it to people. it's a love song lead by rabbit, but it's about. not being "over the moon" because you're in love, but being "over" love and the moon and the stars and everything! being "sick and tired of romance" as bunny put it! very pretty song

(Super Space Blaster Centi-Asteroid Invaderpedes 2 &) Whale Song - SSBCAI2 is a dialogue only track that leads into whale song. in short, rabbit has found a pod of space whales that she is trying to get her siblings to appreciate, but they're too tired or busy to notice. she sings a cute song to the whales instead (whale song). this one is adorable so i think you should listen to it personally

Quintessential

Malfunction - about loving yourself and your flaws!! :)) lead by rabbit

The Ballad of Delilah Morreo - story song about an epic lesbian vampire scientist lady who is also a vampire herself. she's so cool. mechs fans i am looking at you specifically. i don't know much about the mechs but i know there's a lesbian vampire in there. i love delilah so much she deserves everything. this one is half lead by rabbit and half a group song.

Sleep Evil Sleep - this song is severely underrated and makes me feel shrimp emotions. just look at the lyrics. lead by rabbit

Overdrive - the robots are rapping huh??? a group song :)

1896 (if i could recommend the whole album i would)

Eat Your Heart - there are so many interpretations to this song and tbh they're probably all right. love being intimidated by rabbit and her giant cutlery

Bad Days on the Horizon - the final verse of this song is so beautiful aughsfsfg. also this song is only 5 minutes long the other 9 minutes are the spine reading patron names and then having a crisis. enjoy!

Hot On The Trail - about a relationship that's Going Through It. the anger and emotion in this one is so good and also cool pantomime in the music video!! lead by the spine

Lyin' Awake - zero's angst song :) about his time being trapped in a basement

Intertwined - one of the most soothing songs ever written. led by zero!

Latum Alterum (Ya Ya Ya) - the music video for this one is so fun look at chelsea and camille they're demons!!! lead by rabbit

Transform - this song is about rabbit's transition! the differences in the lyrics and style between the version on 1896 (released in 2020) and the acoustic version isabella originally wrote (released in 2015, only half a year into her transition) make me sob i have so much to say about this song. pls if you're queer in any way and ESPECIALLY if you're trans you gotta listen to this one

Music from SteamWorld Heist

this album is mostly acoustic-y covers with a few new songs but there are two i want to mention:

On Top of the Universe - this is an album one song but this version is just. so sweet. love is real and this is the proof. lead by rabbit

Star Scrap - another beautiful but sad love song from rabbit

Covers and Singles

Summertime Sadness - this one is just so good oh my god. this song on its own has convinced three of my friends to listen to spg. lana del ray who? /j

Diamonds - this cover is iconic. sung by the spine and gg together what more could you want

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star - LOOK HEAR ME OUT. it's zero's gorgeous voice with rabbit and spine singing harmonies in the background it's beautiful i promise. it's so calming.

Hey I know nothing about steam powered giraffe but ur mechs Ben diagram post intrigued me, could u explain it pls?

GENERAL INTRODUCTION

Steam Powered Giraffe is a wonderful musical act with elements of comedy, pantomime and puppetry (shout out to GG the Giraffe).

Created in 1896 by Peter A. Walter I, the band consists of The Spine (David Michael Bennet), Rabbit (Isabella "Bunny" Bennet) and Zer0 (Bryan Barbarin).

Former members are Upgrade (Erin Burke) [from 2008 to 2011], The Jon (Jonathan Sprague) [from 2008 to 2012] and Hatchworth (Sam Luke) [from 2011 to 2016, although he 'became' a robot only after The Jon's departure].

RELEASED ALBUMS

please note that spg's style varies from album to album and sometimes even from song to song, so every new tune is a new adventure ;]

Album One - the first one, most old-timey in vibe. with that one song you might have heard. there's also a 2011 version of it without upgrade, but with Ice-Cream Man

The 2¢ Show - second album filled with train trips, cowboys, airplanes and this other song you might have heard (insect edition)

MK III - third album, with songs letting us know more about robots themselves (my personal favourite)

The Vice Quadrant part 1 and part 2 - fourth album, 2h space opera and a masterpiece, happening in two parallel universes. even most devoted fans have to check out the timeline sometimes to remember what's going on

Quintessential - fifth album with individual songs and the dnd anthem ever

1896 - sixth (and the newest!) album with absolute bops and foreshadowing for the new album. also, a song about a band sang by a band of people playing the robot band. bandception.

The Seventh - an upcoming album. all we have now is this trailer.

Bonus music

Music from SteamWorld Heist - new space-pirate themed songs and covers of older, popular tunes made for the SteamWorld Heist game. definitely deserves more recognition

covers and stand-alone songs not included on any of the albums

STUFF WORTH CHECKING OUT IF YOU WANT TO KNOW MORE

general info about the band/members

lore about creation of the band + timelines of both their fourth album "the vice quadrant" and the band itself

spg comics (now also on webtoon!)

@owlhari's youtube channel, with really fun early-performance compilations and more recent videos discussing lore, theories and the band itself

obviously the youtube channel of the band itself (if you dig around a bit you can find some pretty cool videos, such as these ones)

not to self-advertise, but spg community on tumblr is pretty neat. i've met wonderful people there and also found out that colonel walter ate dog food, so it's worth it to visit our tag sometime, i guess ;3

[radical-ghostface]

Ryan Erzahler NSFW Alphabet 😆✊🏾 my boy barely gets any love and i dont understand why😭😭 love your fics btw😌❤️

No cause you're literally so right. I barely ever see any ryan smut or nsfw content so here you go! I hope its good!

☆ RYAN ERZAHLER NSFW ALPHABET ☆

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

I think ryan would be the type to be really sweet after sex. Like he would caress your face and give you that lil smile he does, and kiss you really gently. Ugh i just know hes the cuest thing.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favourite of his own would be his hands. He knows they're hot.

And for his partner I think either smile or eyes. And a lil ass 😏

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Hes for sure a cum in your mouth kinda guy. Either that or i can see him wanting to cum on your back.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

I think he listens to nsfw audios. And would maybe even secretly make a few himself 👀

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Honestly i dont think Ryan is very experienced. Hes not a very social person and i can see that affecting his relationships/sex life. So i feel like he only really has sex with people that he connects with.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying.)

Doggyyyyyy. 100% you cant change my mind. Giving AND recieving.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Ryans more of a serious guy when it comes to sex. Not a lot of joking around or bing goofy but hes not all serious. The right partner would bring it out.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Clean shaven for sure.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

I feel like he would start out kind of stiff or awkward and then once he eased into it and got more comfortable he would be super passionate. Very into the moment, and possibly very heated.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Ryan doesn't jack off very often at all. Maybe once a week? If that. He doesn't have a super high sex drive.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Neck. Biting.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Almost always at home or in a bed. He would turn down a car fuck though 😏

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Nerds. Lol no but like someone intelligent, we all know this man is a himbo okay? He need someone smart to balance him out. So i can see him sitting there listening to his partner talk about something he has no idea about (ex. Quantum physics 😏) and literally all he hears is gibberish because all he can think about is how hot the words sound coming out of their mouth. Know what i mean? Does that make sense? 😬

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Bondage. Its deffinitely not something he would feel comfortable with, like it just wouldnt turn him on at all.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

This man would never turn down a good blow job. Hes nore of receiver than giver but he knows what hes doing with his mouth

P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Ryans the kinda guy who likes it intense, like passionate af. He loves to get really into it and just kinda lose himself to the passion and his partner.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Hes not really a quckie kinda guy but he'll deffinitely do it if his partner asks.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Not a huge risk person, but he would experiment. Especially with threesomes. Dont ask me why, it just makes sense lol

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

I think ryan could go a solid 3 or 4 rounds before he couldn't cum anymore

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Hes always down to try different toys. He even has a few himself.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

This boy LOVES to be teased and over stimmed. To the point where his jaw is clenched and hes drooling just a lil 😏

But not much of a teaser himself.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Pretty quiet, he grunts and moans a lil but hes pretty tame.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

This man likes fucking in water. Period.

Also a slight mask kink 😉 cmon he loves horror, tell me he wouldnt love to be fucked my ghost face or michael myers.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Im gonna say hes somewhere around 7-8 inches, with it being more lengthy than girthy

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Again ryans sex drive isnt too high but it really all depends on his partner and the situation.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

I feel like he would stay up for a sold hour or so to cuddle and make sure his partner felt comfortable and loved ❤ few face/head and shoulder kisses and when he feels satisfied he'll let himself drift off.

[xseaxwitchxkpop]

NSFW Alphabet: Sub!Seonghwa Edition

A/N: idk anyone in Ateez who pushes the catboy agenda more than hwa and this precious soul just makes me have cute aggression. Lemme just remind everyone that stage presence ≠ bedroom preference, so he might be a demon on stage but I personally think he's very far from dominant in the bedroom. Also this is framed for a femme!presenting reader.

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A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

A very clingy baby! Even though he's the sub, he would want to hold you instead of the other way around; when you're cleaning up, give him a plushie to snuggle because he just feels very happy holding something. He would also have the most sparkly eyes ever, looking at you with pure love and adoration. He'll also be very hungry, so always have some food on hand and be prepared to be fed by him because "you need it, too, I don't care if you're my domme, lemme feed you and show you my love!"

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He's fave part on himself is probably his eyes because he knows how expressive they are for him and how transparent they are -- his eyes always betray his true emotions and considering he's a more private person, he likes this. His fave part on you would be your breasts, but not in a sexual way; whether you're part of the itty bitty titty committee or big titty gang, he likes them as a comfort thing, groping them or sucking on your nipples, it's very calming and relaxing for him!

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

He loves his face to be covered in either pussy juices/"cum" (since, ya know, pussies don't ejaculate lmao anyway) or use fake cum (or real cum if you have an actual dick) to cover his face and/or inner thighs, it'll get him going like nothing else. He also loves seeing his midsection painted with his own cum and also eating his own cum.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Every once in a while, he likes to fuck his plushies. No one would suspect this because he takes much care in cleaning them immediately afterward, so they keep their softness and hugability. He's recorded himself doing it a few times but always either deletes the videos or keeps them in a separate, unsuspecting folder in his phone; he's thought about sending them to you but never could bring himself to do so.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He's had a few hook ups but most of them have been pretty vanilla as many hook ups tend to be, he knows what he's doing especially with that tongue of his.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Probably missionary, with you on your back and him fucking you. He can easily kiss you, suck on your neck or nipples, and you can easily grab his hair roughly, pull him in closer, scratch his back with your nails, and you two can make intense eye contact. Yeah, that's his favorite position.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He's more passionate about it than anything. He likes it rough but not necessarily fast, and he likes it soft but not necessarily gentle. It's a very delicate balance that he prefers most of the time and can be difficult to pin down when the mood has to be forced from either of you -- when that happens, he rather not have sex at all.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Trimmed, doesn't bother to shave and he doesn't care what you do; bush, no bush, trimmed, shaved, waxed, whatever. However, he likes it when you shave for him down there as a sweet bonding experience, nothing kinky or sexual.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

He's very sincere and very intense during sex, especially with someone he's romantically involved with because he's not the most open person and, like Yeosang, takes some prying open emotionally so when he shares that emotional part of himself and trusts that other person, that translates directly to the bedroom. He can be a little goofy if he's particularly happy that day, like giggly kisses n' shit, but otherwise very sincere, very intense.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

If he jacks off, you know about it because he sends you audios of himself getting himself off, complete with moans, whimpers, groans, muffling himself, and him cumming in the end of it. He never sends videos, though, because his ass has a voice kink. He masturbates semi regularly just because he has a high sex drive and you're not always available so he temporarily satisfies himself.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

So, this man, has some kinks that get me thinking. He has an oral fixation for sure, so anything involving his tongue; he definitely has a breeding kink like hard-core "let me breed you, mommy/daddy, I wanna give you babies" breeding kink, more so than San; temperature play; pegging/anal play; cock rings; nail scratching; biting/marking; kitten play; shibari; restraints; voice kink; ASMR kink.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Hmmmm, maybe the bedroom? He doesn't really have a favorite place to do anything because each place brings a different kind of thrill for him, so anywhere he can look at and easily imagine you commanding him to take you or you taking him is his favorite place. His least favorite place is the shower because the water washes away the lube and is just generally an annoying interruption.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Doing a sexy, feminine dance for you. Sexy girl group concepts? He learns the choreo and dances it just for you; turns him on because he enjoys you intently watching him while being just out of reach. Rubbing your hand up and down his thigh, no matter how innocent, will also turn him on greatly. Also if you cook for him -- it can be as simple as ramen but as soon as he sees that you cooked for him, he's ready to pounce you and be at your every command.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

I don't think he would be into piss play or scat play (absolutely no hate to people who are into this lol) but I think he wouldn't like them just because he's a bit of a clean freak and all he would see is a mess to clean up and that would definitely ruin the mood for him. Another definite turn off of his is extreme pain; he likes a little bit here and there, like slapping his ass and thighs, nail scratches wherever you scratch him, but flogging and riding crops are a no go for him.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He LIVES for giving oral and that's directly from his oral fixation. It keeps his mouth busy plus he gets to please his partner. Again, he also loves his face covered in cum and/or pussy juices, so oral is definitely such fun for him!

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Moderate. He likes it a little faster than slower, but not exactly fast, if you get what I'm saying. He likes to feel you and you to feel him, so he wants it on the slower side of things but a slightly fast pace will be suitable for the most part. Only every once in a blue moon would he want you to fuck his brains out or to fuck yours out.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Quickies involving penetration? Nah, not a fan. Quickies involving oral? Sign him the fuck up. He wants to see how fast he can get you to orgasm with just his tongue and since you derive such pleasure from it as well, you let him take on this challenge.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

As long as extreme pain is not involved, he's game for a lot of things. He's always wanted to try semi public sex, voyeurism, and submissive cuckolding, but he would only try this with one of his members since he trusts them quite a lot.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

I think he could probably go two, three rounds, maybe four if he has a crapton of energy for God only knows what reason. He has experience, jacks off sort of regularly, so he can last a good while in bed while being pounded into or pounding into you.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He's got dildos of varying sizes because he, like San, is also a size queen. He has a couple of buttons plugs and some vibrators, along with handcuffs and bondage rope. He has a couple pairs of kitten ears and a matching choker and butt plug.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He likes to tease, but not in a bratty way. It's a very sweet way, like poking your cheek and rubbing it like a cat as he strokes your inner thigh and ghosts your genitals, teases you with food like "hey if I make this dish, maybe you can fuck my ass tonight" and he'd act all cutesy about it, he'll make suggestive comments while making direct eye contact, and wiggle his butt sometimes.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He's a happy medium between San and Yeosang. Hwa makes noise - groans, whimpers, moans, mewling - but he isn't loud with them per say, they're very throaty noises and he uses his chest to make them so they're low in volume but frequent.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

He quite prefers the natural noises of sex between you two rather than having a playlist or any other background noise going. He's sensitive to noise in the first place and the background noise could overwhelm him in a bad way.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

He's average. Nothing too long, nothing too girthy, but boy does he know how to use his average dick regardless.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

He has a bit of a high sex drive. Think like smack in the middle of average horny and extremely horny and that's Hwa. He can go like three days without sex with no complaints but coming up on a fourth day may be a little bit hard for him.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He becomes quite sleepy afterward, wanting to snuggle you to fall asleep while you rub his back up and down and he holds you and squeezes you like his personal plushie. It takes a while for him to actually fall asleep, but that's because it takes him a while to calm down enough to lull into a peaceful state of rest before succumbing to sleep.

[imagineurfavs]

VIXX - Ravi A-Z

“Hiiii, could you please write an A to Z for Ravi?? 🙏🙏”

“vixx ravi a to z 👀thank u ❤️”

“Ravi A-Z NSFW please?”

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A - Aftercare Bless him he tries, but he’s so exhausted afterwards the most he can probably stretch to is maybe getting you both a drink...after that youre on your own lol sorry 

B - Body Part (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner) does it count if i say his favourite part on himself is his tattoos? idk, i just feel like theyre something about himself that he really cherishes, and he knows how much you like them too. On his partner, he likes the cakes, the booty, the butt meat. He can’t get enough.

C - Cum Likes to cum on your face or neck. Bonus points if you let him cum in your mouth then kiss him, it’s something he finds so unbelievably hot.

D - Dirty Secret (a dirty secret of theirs) He really REALLY wants to record the both of yall going at it and use the audio in one of his songs, but he thinks you’d never agree to it so he’s afraid to bring it up :((( 

E - Experience He strikes me as someone who’s no stranger to one night stand kinda things so he’s definitely got a fair amount of experience. He just gives off the energy of someone who knows his way around the female body lmao

F - Favourite Position Loves having you ride him, he likes the lazy approach and watching you bounce on him is his favourite site in the entire world. Always has a soft spot for doggy as well, he’s always a fan of anything where he get’s a full view of your ass.

G - Goofy (are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous etc) Not that goofy at all tbh, sex is something he just takes super seriously, he’s not here to mess around lmao. He’s here to fuck you up and get you shaking fgfdgdg

H - Hair (how well groomed are they) Trimmed to the point of almost being bare, but he leaves a little bit lol

I - Intimacy (how are they during the moment, romantic aspect) He has his softer days every now and then, but he’s not really all that intimate in the moment tbh. He knows that you know how he feels about you, so he doesn't feel the need to be overly sentimental when at that moment all he wants is to rail you into the mattress until you're shaking oop.

J - Jack Off (Masturbation) Honestly he probably does it basically every day; it’s pretty much a part of his nighttime routine at this point. He finds it the perfect way to relax just before he goes to sleep

K - Kinks (one of more of their kinks) For sure marking, both giving and receiving. He doesn’t even care if anyone sees them, he wears them all with pride and a massive smirk lol. He’s into maybe lowkey bdsm stuff too, just a little light pain and restraint kinda things.

L - Location (Favourite places to do the do) His favourite place would be his recording studio. It’s just that bit different enough to be a lil saucy, but private enough to where he’s like 95% certain no ones gonna walk in on you. It’s the reason he bought a super big sofa to go in there tbh lol.

M - Motivation (What turns them on) He’s a simple man, literally just touch him in an even slightly suggestive way and his brain will go straight to his dick. His thighs and lower stomach are the places he really likes to be touched

N - NO (something they won’t do, turn offs) No sharing, so that means no three(or more)somes lol. You’re his and he’s yours. That’s how he wants it to stay. 

O - Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc) Lowkey the type to be more into the whole “face fucking” thing when you go down on him. He can get super intense when giving too, he wont stop until you've had a least one orgasm from foreplay alone lol.

P - Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc) I feel like he’s somewhere in the middle lol, a happy medium. Probably a little on the faster side, but not crazy rough. He’ll be sure you feel it the next day.

Q - Quickies (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc) He’s quite a fan, he thinks they definitely have their charm of just scratching that itch whenever it occurs. They happen every now and then, usually in the morning when he wakes up with a boner but has to be somewhere soon.

R - Risk (are they down to experiment, do they take risks?) To a certain extent. He does have a few hard limits, but aside from that, he’s totally open 

S - Stamina (how many rounds can they go, how long do they last? etc) I dont think he lasts all that long, mainly because of how much energy he puts into whatever he’s doing. But providing you catch him before he falls asleep, he’d be down to go a second round.

T - Toy (do they own toys do they use them on a partner or on themselves?) Definitely owns a few. Not a crazy amount, but mainly what he considers the “essentials”. Stuff like a vibrator, blindfold, silk ties and maybe a paddle if he’s feeling extra spicy.

U - Unfair (how much they like to tease) Maybe surprisingly idk, but i really dont think he’s that into teasing. I think he’d much rather just get straight to the main event then draw things out needlessly long.

V - Volume (how loud are they, what type of sounds they make) Some super gravely moans and very very sweary. Super into dirty talk also. Very much a “let the neighbours know my name, baby” kinda guy sdfds

W - Wild Card (a random headcannon) He love love looooves it when you’re super vocal, the louder the better. It doesn’t matter where you are, what time of day it is etc. He knows all the right spots to hit that’ll get you screaming and he’ll keep going until you’re as loud as you can get.

X - X-ray (what’s going on inside those pants) Average in both senses i’d say, pretty n veiny though lol

Y - Yearning (How high is their sex drive) Pretty high, like it’s not that high where its unbearable lmao but it’s probably a little higher than average. 4-5 times a week at most

Z - Zzz… (How quickly they fall asleep afterwards) Super fast lol. Pretty much as soon as he pulls out of you, he’s out like a light lmao.

[willmelon]

i don’t usually do this but i feel Compelled to do a liveblog/review of Mouth Dreams so here goes

Please don’t read this if you haven’t heard the album yet as it’ll spoil Everything

(i’ll admit the idea came to me After i listened to Just a Baby so these first ones are gonna be relistened reviews)

first we got Yahoo. what can i say about this song? neil starts off Strong with incredibly sustained notes and just one phrase, in typical neil style. and he makes it work in so many different ways! honestly didn’t expect myself to get so attached so fast but that’s just the way his magic works ig. when the hoooooooos harmonise it almost brings tears to the eyes. i would love to see a group of choristers singing this with another guy on an electric keyboard. what a cold open. 9/10

of course then we go on to the titular track, the dimension of sound, the dimension of imagination, the dimension of doors. rod serling narrates the intro in his traditional monotone as the warbling twilight zone theme plays in the background. i tell ya i was actually Screaming when the track finished and he dropped the title! it may not be a song per se, sort of like Blockbuster from Mouth Moods, a ‘filler track’ if you will, but the effort in those fifty seconds cannot be ignored. it just goes to show once again how Good he is at what he does. 6.5/10

oh lawd, my favourite so far, Spongerock. reading the title i had absolutely No idea what to expect. the goofy goober song from the movie? winner takes all from band geeks? i was pleasantly surprised to find myself tapping out queen’s distinctive boom boom CLAP as the song progressed, and i was in complete Hysterics the whole way through, chanting along with the kids as the pirate encouraged me to sing louder. it’s such a beautiful fit the way they mesh together, and it’s one of those mashups that you listen to and think ‘why has nobody done this before?’ but neil is on a higher plane of existence than us and Knows where it’s at. you’re never the same after you’ve listened to Spongerock. 7.5/10

Just a Baby, where i stopped to begin this thing, is a melancholy song, which i’m not usually a fan of. i admit i don’t know the original song so i kept quiet until the last chorus or two. it’s the yang to the yin of Wow Wow from Moods, another sentence-mixer that was like a full Bop and barely gave you time to catch your breath. in Just a Baby you begin to empathise with the singer as he regales confusing times of his constant youth, including the time his mother (a train) shot a man in cold blood. it’s a powerful ballad, and it’s got a tasteful amount of justin bieber adding backing vocals to the chorus. i may have to deduct a few points cos the lyrics are gonna be hard af to remember. 7/10

ok next up we got Superkiller. this one’s totally blind! i’m. ehhhhh okay not diggin this one very much. ok that say something once line being repeated was comedy gold but talking heads are just like. kinda tuneless tbh. i’m glad he’s trying to lassoo it together with u can’t touch this but it’s kinda falling short tbh. i wouldn’t skip it but it’s not as memorable as the previous ones. 5/10

starting Get Happy. i’m not gonna lie i think i Know what this is, there are only so many options after all. i predict it’s a mix of “get dancin’” by disco-tex and the sex-o-lettes and “happy” by bahrrel williams, and i really hope that ain’t the case cos i Love the first one but despise the latter. oh well let’s see if he can pull it off. sounds like village green by the kinks so far lol uhhhh i have no idea what to make of this. okay i feel like i’m gonna like this after all. hey it’s got memorable lyrics at least! is it gonna get faster? or just more bassy? yknow maybe i was too critical at the start, but i had no idea what to expect. this is a feel-good pop song and it’s definitely making me feel happier than i was when i was listening to Superkiller. 7/10

Ribs? wtf do i expect from a song called Ribs lmao another song i’ve never heard of IH IT’S EVERYBODY WANTS TO RULE TH WORLD OH YEEEEEEEEES omg i Love this song i sing it to myself when i’m walkin my dog cos his little paws click-clack on the pavement to the exact rhythm of the song omg i’m in Love! another one with odd lyrics but i think after a Lot of repeat listening i’ll be able to properly croon along to this one omg! it reminds me of Best from Mouth Silence in that they’re both about products, only instead of folgers in your cup it’s about chili’s baby back ribs omg neil you’re Perfect! how come more advertisers haven’t contacted you for a product placement deal?? 7.5/10

next we got My Mouth. welcome to? who knows let’s hit play. ooooh minor key. is this a real song? it sounds like oney singing a cover of something. oh That’s the gimmick? 2:30 long i hope there’s something else tbh cos otherwise it’s gonna get pretty thin pretty fast. mm not a fan. the weakest so far imo especially after Ribs blew me away. definitely a bad dream. 3.5/10

Aerolong don’t fail me now! okay see This is how you do a mashup. I DON’T MISS YOU BABAY AND I DO WANNA MISS A THING THAT’S GOLD!! this is just a song about saying bye to your ex lmao i love it. wish it was longer though. 6/10

Sleepin’ here we go! ok in the youtube version the first half of this song is just silence so that wasn’t fun. gee this one’s only moderately better than My Mouth i’m feeling very shortchanged. 4/10

what to expect from Aamoorree? hopefully this one’s another jam but...okay i’m likin this one. it’s Fun and isn’t trying too hard! it’s just a drunk dean martin singing about pizza pie on karaoke night, what more could you ask for lol. 6/10

Where Is My Mom? by the p-p-p-pooo-oo-ooo-oooool of course. i don’t recognise the other song but it’s decent. i’ve listened to slowed-down songs before (the sludgefest chipmunks albums lately) and this one’s kinda ok. not a fan of the ending but points for effort ig. 5.5/10

Fredhammer ay? might there be some peter gabriel in there? undoubtedly. yup there it is lol ok now bring in the flintstones? oh ig that’s fred durst? mm not totally feeling it so far but censoring he** was funny lmao HEY THERE’S SEINFELD i’m wheezin that was a good way to end a song, well done neil. 6.5/10

here goes Limp Wicket. i’m on the edge of my seat. and Again i’m disappointed. is this a bunch of ewoks singing some kind of star wars song? or is it jarjar? either way this is Not a good song. it probably wasn’t before he mashed it up but this wasn’t an improvement. bringing in Fredhammer didn’t help this song much at all, in fact i think it brought both songs down actually. last one was a 7/10 but i Have to dock it points now that it’s a two-parter. as for this one? i’m being generous cos the limp bizkit song was good. 1/10

Cannibals runs for 4 minutes. PLEASE don’t let this be a repeat of the last one. i get that miners can’t dig up gold every time but don’t just show up with a bunch of rocks and iron pyrites yknow i’m just gonna start. i don’t want to be angry at this album. i recognise that sound in the bg! from a cyriak vid i think. thx comin in. loooooooong drone. ugh UGH there are Too many lucid dreams on this album. starting to regret liveblogging this cos i Loved the other three mouth albums. this one’s just falling flat again and again. 3/10

here comes The Outsiders. there is NOTHING to say about this. 1.5/10

come on Johnny. okay that got a laugh out of me, not many songs start with a booing crowd like that, is that meta? wouldn’t put it past him tbh. ah i’ll give it a 5/10, for a kinda filler song it wasn’t too bad.

Closerflies, this has gotta be gold. PLEASE. intro’s goin on for a little too long...mm having never heard the original version of closer i gotta admit i thought it’d be faster, like the one used in Rollercloser in Silence. this version seems very sloppy and sluggish, especially the bassline. 3/10

Nightmovin’ i’m not expecting much OH good intro oh YES now here we go. this is a good one, it’s got clear lyrics and a catchy tune, i’m liking this one more and more by the second. cuts off weird but it’s going into the next one. so i’m gonna leave the rating out of this one and see how it is after the next one.

Whitehouse i’m holding my breath. mm it’s Good but not great tbh. criminal that the last one was half as long as this one. think i’m gonna give both of these songs a 5/10 i doubt they’ll be anyone’s favourites. the title is a nice little joke too i respect that.

Wah! what’s neil’s obsession with using wannabe as a source lmao! it’s another decent one but nothing memorable again. 5/10

Pee Wee Inc i’m expecting big things. good intro I’M IN LOVE okay this is Much better than i imagined it’d be. did he use the radio edit of feel good inc? this is a heck of a way to bring it back to the gold stuff and i wouldn’t be surprised if this is what neil’s head sounds like all the time. 7/10

on to 10,000 Spoons. not sure what to expect from the title. okay this is a Nice one i think. throwback to the likes of Just a Baby with the two songs and the sentence mixing and it’s Good. and really 10,000 spoons is So ironic anyway, don’t you think? 7/10

oh another song called Mouth Dreams? an extro? that was Weird lol ok the intro i wasn’t too keen on, def not as much as the intro, but i got to appreciate it as it went on. like Rlly appreciate it i was beginning to reflect on what a journey i’d been through tonight, especially writing it all down. felt very poetic. and then WHAM, out of nowhere, after being gone for 23 songs, all-star came Back and How! gotta give this one a 7.5/10

keep the train rolling Brithoven! i can hear faint bits of instruments in britney’s song in the back of her audio which sound like a mistake but knowing neil.......yah lmao. this song’s kinda like Promenade (Satellite Pictures at an Exhibition) from Mouth Sounds, i liked what i heard. very nice. 6.5/10

the final song. we’re gonna be hit one more time for Ain’t! and i have NO idea what i’m in for! in the hall of the mountain king eh? is this like a way of looping around to the first song of the first album with classical music? ok the snoring’s a nod to Bustin i’m sure lmao funny anyway. i thought i heard a hey now in there but i must be going nuts. wouldn’t call it a grand finale but it is what it is. 5/10

now the question that must be asked - was Mouth Dreams trying to make a point? was there a reasons so many songs were of lower-quality than previous albums? perhaps it’s just a matter of taste, or perhaps it’s as rod said back on track two, that this album is a doorway into another dimension, and the further you progress, the more mind-rattling, brain-melting concepts you come across. the album gets an average of 5.5 which is kinda disappointing. don’t think i’ll be listening to the whole thing again. thanks for reading!

[loulougoingsolo]

Oh, queso, I dropped my tortilla

There was a photo on social media a few weeks ago about Rhett and Link on a disc golf course with their tortillas, so today’s vlog didn’t come as a full surprise - but knowing that it was coming didn’t make it any less entertaining. I’m really bad at throwing frisbees in general, and my favourite form of golf is the miniature kind (because it’s more math and less physical activity), but I do like the idea of frisbee golf, and the fact that the golf courses are in actual nature, instead of artificial, manufactured grass fields like real golf courses. But now, let’s go buy some tortillas!

I like to think that Rhett and Link are roaming the world surrounded with only human size chipmunks. If they ever decide to create a Rhett and Link video game, I want all the other human characters in it be chipmunkified. But, really, they should make a R&L game!

LOL, Link’s messed up the audio. It’s been a while since we saw this bit the last time, I was thinking they had actually learnt how to vlog by now (Not that I would have noticed anything wrong with the audio, if they didn’t bring it up. I still didn’t notice, so editor Brian must have done a great job.)

I do wish all the people in the store were turned into chipmunks, but I guess they really only need the ones who talk to have that filter. I wonder if the guys had a plan for if the chipmunk who took their photo in the store had agreed to go play with them?

The best thing about watching the guys on the disc golf course is that they probably had a blast filming this episode, hanging out in the park and being goofy, even if Rhett was initially a little self-concious about using tortillas instead of frisbees.Turns out, tortillas actually do work!

I miss summer and having leaves on trees again. I assume it’s still technically winter in L.A. at the time when this vlog was filmed (and currently spring, right?), but they have green grass, and foliage, and it looks so warm and nice. L.A. winter is basically a sunny but slightly cooler summer day in Finland. Sigh. (Oh, and I really like Rhett with the reversed hat. He pulls this look off just as well as the trucker look last week.)

So...I decided to edit both guys in one picture on the railing, because I thought Link looked so small compared to Rhett, who could practically walk through the whole thing. Although some of the size difference in my edit is because of a slight difference in filming angles, Link basically looks like a hobbit. Or a little kid. Either way, really he’s tiny compared to his giant buddy.

It appears that the brand of tortillas has very little to do with how well they perform as frisbees - the game stays amazingly even right to the last round. I find the guys’ decision to take a bite of the used, sand-covered tortillas after each round they lose very questionable, especially after seeing that some folks (Rhett, I’m looking at you) and probably more than one canine have peed on the ground. But if it doesn’t kill you, it only makes you stronger, right?

After the even race, Rhett wins the role of Tortilla man, while Link has to be his expendable sidekick, Tortilla boy. Together, these two fight the war against those who break the tortilla code.

Tortilla boy accidentally dies in battle against the unlicensed tortilla merchants - by a hit on the face of a tortilla tossed by the Tortilla man himself. I do think he could have been revived after the first hit, especially since he was supposed to be a superhero, and the human tortilla merchants didn’t appear to get any damage from being hit in the face more than once, but maybe that was Tortilla Boy’s weak spot? Or, maybe, Tortilla man was just ready for a new Boy, because he finished his sidekick by suffocating him with another tortilla. Superheroes must be able to make tough decisions, sometimes.

This was, yet again, a great vlog, and after watching this, I may need to go and try frisbee golf myself, even if I know with certainty that I’ll suck at it. I think I’ll use actual frisbees, not tortillas, though. We have an excellent frisbee golf course nearby, and even if this region is two months away from foliage, spring IS around the corner. I could use a nature walk.

[roger1na]

careful ch1 - john deacon x reader

summary: you are a ballet student at the royal ballet academy. To pay for your tuition, you work part-time at the celebrity gossip magazine, Seven. One fateful day you’re sent to interview a band on the rise, Queen, post-concert. When you’ve got your material and the goofy band is set to leave, you learn that John Deacon may be the sweetest gentleman to ever grace this planet.

words: 2.5k+

warnings: swearing

author’s note: this is my entry for @bensroger 3k fic challenge! congrats <3. the promptline is bolded at the end. (and just as a little nod to me, the magazine Seven doesn’t exist in real life, at least i don’t think so. i took it from a horrible gossip magazine in finland, Seiska, who’s known for paying celebrities to get into scandals so they can write about it.)

[ch1] [ch2] [ch3] [ch4] [ch5] [ch6] [ch7] [ch8]

chapter one

The venue was filled with people. Screaming girls and guys who wanted to play it cool in their leather jackets and long hair. Every atom in your body was begging you to leave, to not get caught and melded into these people, but you pressed on, earning dirty looks from some hardcore fans. You held on tightly to the camera your magazine, Seven, had lent you for the evening, adrenaline making your hands tremble ever so slightly.

You were almost at the front of the stage, unscrewing the lens cap slowly, painted nails shimmering in the show lights.

“Thank you all for coming out tonight, we really appreciate it darlings,” the booming voice of tonight’s band’s frontman echoed through the concert hall and was met with loud cheering. Freddie Mercury sure could handle a crowd. You peered at him through your camera, lights catching his eyes and shadows strengthening his jawline and snapped a picture.

Queen was worth every bit of praise ever given to them by fans and undeserving of the snobby critique from so called experts in music. And they could really put on a show. It was a real perk of part-time magazine work. Free (but, to be fair, very lousy) tickets to noisy concert halls and backstage passes and enough confidence and status to elbow your way to the front of the crowd.

You’d never seen Queen live before. Of course you knew their music, who didn’t, but their tickets were either costly or the shows were at bad times. Your training schedule didn’t allow too much time for late nights and parties. You only had one day off a week and even that was spent stretching and practicing, making sure your joints didn’t ruin themselves with the amount of ballet you danced. You began wondering if you should’ve come sooner. Everything was mesmerising.

When your favourite song of theirs, Liar, started playing the bassist moved very close to where you were standing. His brown curls bounced as he skillfully played his solo, occasionally bringing his index and middle finger to his lips and licking them to keep them running more smoothly on the strings.

You turned on your camera flash to catch the metallic glint of his bass strings and he saw the light in the corner of his eyes and turned to you, small smile playing on his lips. He locked eyes with you for what seemed like forever before turning back to his instrument, licking his lips slyly. A small blush tingled at your cheeks.

Disappointment washed over you as they finished the final note of their last song, Nevermore. “You’ve been a lovely crowd, London! Thank you very much!” Freddie bowed on the stage, absorbing the cheers of the crowd. Somebody in the crowd was crying. Each member had sweat glistening on their cheeks and they were breathing heavily but still managed to look perfectly put together.

They disappeared backstage and you had to rush to beat the crowd. With your backstage pass you slipped past security, waving your Seven worker ID and made your way quickly to the dressing rooms. Though you had tried you best to beat the groupies and one-time fans, the amount of people yelling and waving autographs and chattering excitedly was almost sickening. It was worse backstage. Your heart jumped to your throat and your chest tightened. “I fucking hate this job,” you mumbled.

You’d spent the day rehearsing as an understudy for the main role in Swan Lake, then you had to rush to the office to grab your camera and audio recorder before taking the tube to a small concert hall in east London. You were tired, anxious and now had to fight for an interview with the band.

A wave of dizziness and nausea cut through you and sent you walking funny, looking like a drunk. You set your hand against the wall to gain your balance, bile rising to your throat. The nausea came in waves, each one stronger than the last, sending you weak at the knees. When was the last time you ate? You skipped lunch to rehearse extra, then didn’t you have that meeting? You drank coffee? Black as usual. And then? It’d been hours. You steadied yourself, breathing slowly.

”It’s going to be ok,” you told yourself. ”Not going to make a fool of myself. Not today.”

And with the balance of a newborn calf you hobbled ahead in the crowd, using your elbows rather rudely to get to the front. Once you were faced with an underpaid security guard, you coughed to get his attention.

”Excuse me, I have a backstage pass, can I get through?”

His face scrunched as if to say I’m-totally-tough-and-qualified but his nervous nod told you he was just a buff college student.

”Thanks,” you say without looking him in the eyes and quickly slipping past.

The dressing room door was adorably adorned with a star with the band name Queen on it, just like in some movie. You supposed the movies must’ve gotten their inspiration somewhere. You knocked determinedly, hearing clamour inside as loud voices fought over who should answer.

”Listen, John, you’re closest to the door, it makes sense!” An annoyed voice ushered someone inside.

”Freddie, you’re the frontman, I don’t want a 16 year-old drooling here again, you can turn them away,” a quieter voice replied.

You had to roll your eyes, before replying. ”Listen, I’m not a drooling teenager. I’m here to interview you, Y/N Y/N/L, from Seven.”

A triumphant laugh was heard before the lock turned. A sheepish bassist gave you a soft smile, hiding mostly under his hair. You returned the smile, before stumbling in, legs still shaky. ”You okay?” He grabbed your arm to steady you.

”Yes,” you nodded. ”It’s just been a long day.” He looked wary to let you stand on your own.

The band in all their glory, looked like silly kids, with their brightly coloured dressing gowns and long hair and little snickers and inside jokes that ran around the room quickly, sometimes only through eye-contact.

”Y/L/N? Don’t think I’ve heard of you before,” Freddie spun around gleefully in his chair.

”Well, I don’t usually write the articles or get credit. I only work part-time, getting the material, then a more popular writer takes the credit so we get more buys of the paper,”

”Scandalous,” Freddie laughed, before gesturing to the grey and slightly dumpy sofa across from him. ”Sit, I want to get this over with while there’s still hours left of the night.”

Slowly, the rest of the band gathered around you. Brian May with his poodle hair and soft laugh, Roger Taylor with his high-pitched singing voice but incredibly scratchy speaking voice and the shy and quiet John Deacon, who was the most attentive, laughing at just the right moments.

You set your little audio recorder on the sofa before beginning. ”So, I had to fight my way through quite the crowd of- John, how’d you put it? Drooling teenagers. How’s that feel?”

The extrovert in you shined as you chatted with the band, each of them giving you half-assed but hilarious answers.

”Oh you know, it’s our scene. This is usual.” Freddie flicked his wrist bashfully.

”I have to battle fangirls when I step outside all the time,” John quipped back and you threw your head back laughing. Queen was making it big, but was yet to hit that sweet goldmine of number one songs. And they were yet to have too much of an international career.

The interview continued well but soon the boys grew tired of talking about themselves and were arguing about meaningless things together. With that you shut your little recorder and took one last photo which showed them deep in discussion before coughing loudly. ”I think that’s it, Queen. I got some good material. Thanks!”

”I’m up for a drink now. Talking so long parched me.” Taylor got up, fluffing his hair slightly. The band hummed in unison, getting up and dusting themselves off.

You flipped through the notes you’d taken to help the final writer get an idea of the scene as the dressing room emptied. John stayed behind, packing his bass carefully into the its case.

“Not the man for partying, are you?” You leaned closer to him on the couch.

“Ha, well not today. It was a long show.”

The voices of the band got further and further away. You stayed sitting for just a little longer, intently watching John in thought. You thought it wasn’t possible to look flattering in bright white lights but clearly he was here to prove you wrong. He glanced at you when he felt eyes on him and you both blushed before turning away.

“Right,” you snapped your notebook shut. “I’ll get going.” You maneuvered yourself off the couch and managed a few steps ahead before the world went black.

It was disorienting to find yourself on the floor with no memory of how you got there. Your ears were ringing and the light stung your eyes. “Oh my god, are you okay?”

He was leaning over you, long hair tickling your cheeks, eyes wide with concern.

“Mmwh happened?” You started to mumble, throat dry.

John sighed, relieved before helping you sit up against the couch. “You must’ve blacked out.”

“Lovely,” you said sarcastically, rubbing your head.

“Should I be concerned?” He whispered to you, sitting down awfully close. You felt your heart rate pick up. He smelt like a generic brand of after-shave mixed with something fruity, like a cocktail.

“Not at all,” you slowly rose to a more upright position. “I just haven’t eaten in a while,”

“That’s not very good.” He chuckled. “I’ll be a little concerned, just in case.”

You managed a feeble laugh and looked down at your hands. “I’ll be ok.”

“Yeah, once you’ve gotten home and eaten. You must be so overworked. I can drive you home.”

You set your face in your hands, embarrassed, and sighed. “God, y’know what I told myself today? That I wasn’t going to make a fool of myself. And here I am, not only being a fool but being a bother.”

“You’re no bother. I would’ve had to drive out of here anyway. Now I’ve got company.” He gently pried your hands away from your face.

“You’re too sweet.”

You were both very close, hands on top of each other on the floor. When he looked your way you could feel his short, shallow breaths on your face, as if he was afraid to break the moment. “It’s nothing.” And yet, in those few memorable seconds, it was everything.

“Right then,” he coughed and stood up. “Can you walk?”

“Yeah, thanks,” you bit your lip and tucked stray strands of hair behind your ear. He helped you stand and you leaned on him for support.

“I feel like a right idiot,” you started.

“Don’t fuss about it.”

Meekly, let him help you into the van, his long fingers wrapping entirely around your wrist. When you were safely strapped in, you looked up at him. He was leaning on the roof of the van and you felt his warm breath on your cheeks. ”Thank you,” you managed to breathe out.

He looked away, red spreading on his face. ”You’re welcome.”

He got into the driver’s seat swiftly, turning the keys in the ignition. The purr of the engine lulled you softly into a trance-like state of only taking notice of the cars passing you by. John kept stealing glances at you. You were so breathtaking. Even when you weren’t talking, he was sure you’d captivate a room with you clever eyes and the left corner of your mouth that twitched upward when you were suppressing a laugh.

“I never asked any questions about you,” he finally spoke up as he turned to you. “I spent all that interview talking about myself and never once wondered about you.”

“Well, that’s good. I wasn’t the one being interviewed.” You shrugged, a bit dazed but still paying attention.

“Can I ask about you now?”

You tried to not let a blush rise on your cheeks as you replied. “Sure.”

“You mentioned you only work part-time at Seven. Why’s that?”

“I’m a dancer student at the Royal Ballet Academy. But it’s costly and celebrity gossip pays surprisingly well.”

It was like talking to an old friend. Conversation flowed easily. He asked about your career and you talked about his music. John felt like he’d been quiet for forever and finally it was all spilling out. The fame he’d taken on after auditioning for fun as a student. The anxiety surrounding meeting fans who screamed his name.

You finally park on the corner of the street you lived on. A line of rusty cars and motorcycles with chipped paint made it very hard to park the van. You let yourself yawn, your mouth opening wide, like a lions. Not only had you been practically starved all day, it’d also been way too long since you slept. John helped you up out of the van.

“Are you tired?” He whispered. The world was so quiet at 1am in a dusty corner of London.

”A bit yeah,” you grinned. ”I think I’ll eat something and then crash. Boom, out like a light.” You stumbled a bit in your step.

He noticed your weak attempts at walking. ”Here,” suddenly he was leaning in front of you, as if trying to give you a piggyback ride. ”Hop on, I’ll carry you the rest of the way.”

”What?” You flushed.

”You heard me. I think you’re about two steps from collapsing again.”

With an embarrassed huff, you clambered onto his back, your skirt riding up your thighs as he hoisted you up. You buried your face into his hair as he slowly made his way over to the apartment. ”Sorry the parking’s so shitty and you have to drag me like this.” You whispered, very close to his ear.

”Don’t worry,”

”But seriously. Bet you, this isn’t how you saw the night going.”

”No, but this is better. You’re good company.”

”Shush,” you laughed.

At your front door he set you down and let you settle your skirt before turning around. His hair was ruffled and his cheeks flushed but he grinned like an idiot. ”We’re your castle, I suppose,”

You managed a small laugh before a yawn took over. “Tonight’s been great, thank you.”

“My pleasure.”

“Alright then.” You paused, wanting to stay with him for longer. “Goodnight, John.”

“Goodnight, Y/N. And good luck. With your dancing.”

“Thanks.”

You swallowed hard, and with a small wave you turned around and unlocked your door looking one final time at this strange bassist, with his bouncy curls and soft smile. You paused a bit before calling out.

“John?”

He looked up, eyes glinting in the orange glow of the streetlights. “Yes?”

“Will I see you again?”

He grinned. “I hope so,” he got into his car and rolled down the window. “It’s a small world, after all.”

You laughed, leaning against the doorframe. “Alright then, John Deacon. I guess I’ll be seeing you.”

And with that, he drove off, music playing down the street through his open window. You felt your heart skip as you closed the door to your apartment.

[inaudiblemon]

Sorry, I just gotta vent this to get it out of my brain and into a semblance or order. I’ve been percolating on a thing since last week. Mostly, on exhaustion and anxiety, and how both have been my big problems over the last year.

Exhaustion is an easy one to figure out; I just endeavoured to do too much this past year, and with how emotionally taxing things have been over the past few months, it’s a no-brainer as to why I get so tired so fast. I just went to the gym this morning and I’m already tapped out. I haven’t been sleeping well, I’m either eating too much or too little, and while having my cat Samwell around has created more structure into my life, it doesn’t fix the feeling of being so brain-dead all the time. I have a progress-meeting with other students this Friday (organized by my thesis supervisor), and I’m dreading it, because I haven’t had the concentration to get much work done, so, the potential for embarrassment is pretty high. There’s stuff I was supposed to have done over the summer that I haven’t even touched (and I technically got paid for), and I’m having a hard time getting into the mindset of transcribing the audio for my own data. 

I put in non-stop effort from January to June this year, juggling classes, work contracts and my thesis for those six months; it’s tiring to put in a lot of effort and to have your depressed and anxious brain not be able to celebrate the achievements (or to see the progress you’ve made). And then all the shit that happened over the summer, I think I just collapsed under the pressure from all the things I was trying to pour myself into. While I don’t want to rush my recovery, I can’t keep hiding under my metaphorical couch to play video games. I’m not helping myself under the guise of “self-care” if I’m not actively trying to get back on that horse (but like, in a careful way, after taking the time to see how I’ll do it). I need help figuring out where to go from here, so that I can do the things and not feel absolutely exhausted all the time. 

And then, anxiety. I’ve been trying to do more things out of the house, and some things have been working; others, not so much. I went to see a comedy show in Toronto (a bad financial decision made at a time where I thought I’d have enough money to survive the year), and honestly, I needed that. I got to have time where I wasn’t in a rush for things, got to stop into some cool book shops and restaurants, and it was my favourite comedian, who is unique in that he’s especially kind and goofy.

Although, when I got there, I was immediately faced with a crowd composed of couples and people who came with friends, and the only seats left were in front. I get nervous and sit down, but talked a bit with a couple who had also driven down from Ottawa, who were super cool and invited me to come see them at the coffeeshop where they work (I want to do that soon)! The comedian does crowdwork, and I had been mentally prepping myself to talk all day, since he talks to EVERYONE at his show. And for the most part, it was fun, but since literally every other person in the room was there with their SO, it was mostly centred around that, which, y’know, adds to the loneliness of taking the train for 6 hours to see a show by myself. His last bit was about a Halloween joke, and being a big fan of the holiday, I gave him an enthusiastic “Yeah dude!”, and he turns to me, and is like “Dude, I didn’t even see you, it’s the first time you’ve spoken up. What’s up man? What you got going on?”. It was a friendly and jovial invitation to start banter, and I froze. This guy I admire for his kind sense of humour took the opportunity to ask my consent to be funny with me, a literal dream I couldn’t believe was happening; I’ve wanted this moment. But anxiety took over with a “Dude, I got nothin’, I’m sorry man”. He replied something to the affect of “That’s alright man” and did his Halloween joke, and it was great, but I felt shitty because anxiety got the best of me and ruined what could have been a cool moment. 

I got the chance to speak to him and his wife after the show (she often tags along for his gigs, or appears as a disembodied voice during his sets to roast him; they also have a podcast together, it’s hilarious) and I didn’t really know what to say when I got up to see them; he noticed I was nervous and suggested we take a photo, and we did. He was super gracious that I came to see, and I thanked him for answering a question I sent in months ago on his YouTube morning show. I fumbled with my words but I got the essentials out before thanking him again and letting someone else talk to him. His wife talked to me a bit about coming from Ottawa to see the show, and how I made friends with the other couple from Ottawa. It was really pleasant, and she was a delight despite the fact I felt I was rambling, and I just wished I hadn’t been so nervous and awkward. 

It’s a long story, but it helps to illustrate something I’ve been confronting daily: I get anxious real easy around other people and it ruins moments, it’s debilitating, it prevents me from doing things normally and it upsets me. I feel I’m always fumbling around with my words, restarting sentences, or I get real quiet, or get caught off guard and don’t know what to say, or I start rambling. I want to be more confident, in control and comfortable, but how do I go about changing that? I don’t want to stay idle on this anymore, I need guidance.

And thus, I think the obvious conclusion here is to never speak to anyone ever again because the world is a scary place filled with judgement and doing things is hard especially when there is little to no payoff for doing them and finding motivation and energy to do things is a struggle finally start going to therapy because I need help dealing with my shit.