#good work takes time! I would know! my favorite writing I’ve done has taken like 2 years to get 4 satisfactory 1~2k-word chapters!

[gameboyhamazing]

oh hey that looks like a cool in-progress fic/comic/similar ongoing creative work lemme just follow it *The Curse (tm) activates, causing the creator to stop updating or even acknowledging the work for months on end until either i forget about it completely and/or it updates out of the blue or is discontinued* ah dammit not again

[1d1195]

Traditional XI

You can read the rest of Traditional here.

Thank you so much for the love and support on this story. She and Harry have definitely turned into one of my favorite couples I've had the pleasure of writing about. As an aside, I will be posting a long overdue "how my taglist works" (because I a tumblr-elder and don't know what I'm doing anymore). But for those of you that have been tagged throughout the series, please check out the message at the bottom.

This is the final part (not including the extras I have lined up.) There's a bit of angst and a good bit of fluff. It follows part ten immediately and I also continued with marking the days/time because I think it made it a bit easier to follow.

Truly, really, thank you so much. Part 1-11 is 67k words and I’ve enjoyed typing each one. I hope you continue to enjoy reading. Without further ado:

--

“She gave it back,” he said stiffly. His throat was catching on to the words.

“Gave what back?” Niall asked curiously. “The apartment?”

Harry felt his entire body freeze over with a new fear that Niall mistakenly unlocked. It truly felt like his body was made of ice. He grabbed at his phone anxiously calling the apartment complex’s main line. He had to suffer through prompts before he could finally talk to a person. He asked if it looked as if anyone was moving stuff from his apartment (although he would have given it to her at this point).

Monday

“I’ll kill him,” Louis shouted, almost proudly as he entered the apartment. She shook her head and just burst into tears as she told him about all the things Harry did. While he was prepared to murder him, Louis’ heart softened with each task Harry completed to make sure his best friend was cared for. It was everything he ever hoped for the girl he thought of as one of his own sisters. He wouldn’t kill Harry. He couldn’t...not if he did all that for her.

Eleanor combed her fingers through her hair while the poor girl cried in her lap. Louis was frowning, glancing at Eleanor every so often as she spoke. “Babe,” Louis whispered when she finished her story.

She sniffled. “I don’t know why I did that,” she croaked. “That was so stupid, who does that? You should have seen the look on his face. He’s never going to forgive me.”

“Of course, he will,” Eleanor said easily shaking her head. Her voice was so solid, like she had already talked to Harry about it and knew with every fiber of her being. Louis crouched beside her wiping the tears out of her eyes as comfortingly as he could. “Harry loves you, darling,” Eleanor reminded her.

“Why was I so mean?” She choked on another sob. “I’d hate me. I was so heartless.”

“You were overwhelmed, love,” Eleanor promised. “That was a lot to take in, all in one day. But he meant the best and brightest for you. You have to believe that. Harry has never done anything but try to make sure you’re taken care of.”

She took in a shaking breath as more tears poured out of her; she was so unhappy with how she handled the whole day. Maybe she was overwhelmed. That would at least have made some sense. There was so much to be overwhelmed about. Everything she had been bottling up. All of which was threatening to burst because it just had to be one of those weeks where it all just piled and piled until it all crumbled down.

“Babe,” Louis whispered trying to stop the tears from falling but failing because they kept coming faster than he could swipe her cheeks. “C’mon.”

“I know you all went to the funeral for my dad,” she sniffled. She may as well have wallowed in the hurt a bit more. They needed to know she knew. “I know they had one...I saw it in the online obituary.”

They were silent for a minute. Louis didn’t move his eyes from hers for a moment. He pressed his lips together in a thin line. So of course, she knew she was right. They did hide it from her.

However, Louis wasn’t going to forget that she let them hide it. He stared at Eleanor for a moment; having some silent conversation that only the two of them could have. The entire time she continued crying. Eleanor gave her a comforting squeeze as best she could with her sprawled across her lap.

“I think you’re scared,” Eleanor whispered without addressing her comment about the services.

“El,” Louis’ voice wasn’t a whisper like it had been directed at the sobbing girl. His tone wasn’t gentle. It was like he was warning her not to continue.

“Scared of what?” She sniffed because she may have heard the warning in Louis’ voice, but she was already miserable. It couldn’t be worse than what she felt.

“Tell her, Louis. Tell her,” Eleanor begged. She turned her attention back to her best friend.

Louis reminded her so much of her brother, she wondered if he would have been as wise as Louis was if he were still around. Even for the goofball he made himself out to be, Louis was nearly sagely at his age. He was the one she went to for advice. The one she asked for help when she needed to get Harry a birthday gift. If she was stuck in the middle of nowhere, she was pretty sure she would still call Louis first. He was her best friend because he always knew what to say to her and even if it was hard to hear he always told her the hard truths.

She could see on his face that it was going to hurt to lay whatever he was about to say in front of her if only because she was already so heartbroken. “Being cared for,” he bit the inside of his lip, but he didn’t break his gaze with her. “You think it’s a death sentence,” he told her. His tone was soothing, even though the words were not. “Because when your brother came to get you, he tragically died. Don’t think I’m forgetting that. But then, your parents stopped caring for you...so it was like...you associated the two,” he explained. “And then, you didn’t tell me. So, in your mind, caring for you is a death sentence for those that love you.”

She was speechless. Her sniffles slowed, which allowed her to sit in the upright position, but Eleanor still had her arm wrapped around her shoulders. She swallowed as she listened to him speak without hiccupping on her breath. “Do you really think we wouldn’t have let you live with us?” Eleanor asked softly from beside her. “The only one that thought you needed to get your own space was you...and don’t get me wrong, I’m happy that you got Harry out of the deal, but you could have lived with us for forever,” she smiled gently at her.

She stared at the two of them and Louis looked at her tear-stained face with a frown. “Love,” he said so gently. “You have spent so long building up walls making sure you take care of everyone in your life because the last time you stopped taking care of someone else and had fun of your own, something horrible and tragic happened,” She looked away from him, sniffling uncontrollably. “But it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t. No matter how many times your mum says it was...no matter how many times you sit next to his gravestone and feel guilty for it. He would have gone and got you and he would have turned that steering wheel to protect you over, and over, and over again,” she couldn’t look at Louis when he talked about it. It was his best friend, and she just took him away forever...all for a party. “I would have done it for you, babe,” he promised. She hated the idea of that too so much that she let out another whimpering sob. “Now, so would Harry,” he told her, and the pang of anxiety at the mere idea Harry would fatally hurt for her rippled all through her body she felt sick at the idea...it hurt all the way to her toes and made her fingertips feel numb.

But Louis pressed on making it hurt even more but with every intention of making it better. “You can’t keep your guard up forever. You can’t stop people from taking care of you because you miss him and worry about the consequences of them taking care of you,” he said. “We all take that risk for someone we love,” he brushed the tears off her cheeks once more as they were finally slowing to a pace he could keep up with. She refused to look at him. But Louis wouldn’t accept that. “Babe,” he said turning her chin back to him. “Let someone else take care of you. Let Harry do it. You’ve done it for long enough.”

*

Tuesday

Niall found Harry throwing the lamp on his desk against the wall of his office so hard he was surprised the wall didn’t shatter. But the lamp certainly did. Nearly splintered into a hundred pieces. He flopped into his desk chair and hung his head practically between his knees.

“Christ, the two of you today,” he grumbled hoping to find Harry in better shape than his typically better mood intern. Obviously, that would not be the case. “What’s wrong?” He asked, closing the door.

Harry ran a hand over his face. He wanted to cry but he was at work, and he shouldn’t have. “She gave it back,” he said stiffly. His throat was catching on to the words.

“Gave what back?” Niall asked curiously. “The apartment?”

His gaze snapped up to Niall and he mouthed the word whoa. If Niall said it out loud, he didn’t hear it. He was shocked by the redness of Harry’s eyes, the withdrawn look. He knew it was bad when she could hardly keep track of what she was doing this morning. It was worse than when her coffee spilled all over her things a few months ago.

But seeing his best friend so distressed…

Harry felt his entire body freeze over with a new fear that Niall mistakenly unlocked. It truly felt like his body was made of ice. He grabbed at his phone anxiously calling the apartment complex’s main line. He had to suffer through prompts before he could finally talk to a person. He asked if it looked as if anyone was moving stuff from his apartment (although he would have given it to her at this point).

He was awarded the slightest bit of relief to hear the word “no” at the other end. It washed over him as he rubbed the back of his head. “Yeah, alright. Thanks,” he mumbled hanging up. He sat in his chair, and he glanced at Niall balling his hands into fists. “She gave back all the money,” he mumbled.

Niall did the easy and quick calculations in his head regarding the last eight or so months. “Whoa.”

Harry told him all about the reference calls, the graduation ceremony, and the lawyers’ meeting with her mum, and the good news. He told Niall how he paid for her student loans and kept all of it hidden from her. Harry tried to hide the tears in his eyes, but Niall knew they were there in his voice as he listened.

“Harry...you gotta just talk to her.”

“M’pretty sure she hates me.”

“That’s a load of shit, alright,” Niall said knowingly. “She loves you.” Harry felt his heart hoping a bit by way of fluttering against his ribs. He shook his head. He didn’t want to hope because she looked betrayed, and it was all his fault. Niall shook his head. “She’s all snively and you’re all angry. You two are quite the pair. You could have a show.”

He wanted to throw something at Niall, but he was too exhausted to hold his head up, let alone hold anything worth throwing—and he wouldn’t really throw something at his best friend. So, he sat there, devastated that she gave him the money back. It worried him to the core. It seemed his new fear of her leaving that apartment was going to be real, sooner rather than later.

And if she left Styles Incorporated…

“She said that you needed this today,” Niall shrugged and put a folder on Harry’s desk in front of him. He winced knowing she was still helping even when she was upset with him. “Tragic that I have to play messenger,” he shook his head. “I hope you talk to her.”

But Harry didn’t want to press. It was obvious he pressed too much and now he had to wait for her to forgive him.

Maybe.

*

Wednesday

She didn’t come to work.

There was nothing else to say.

There was nothing he could think about except that she didn’t come to work.

He didn’t get to see her. All day and an entire near-sleepless night. He impulsively shopped for items scheduled to be delivered the following day. Items he didn’t need but he needed to get for her...even if she never set foot in his house again.

There was nothing else he could think about.

*

Thursday

Niall brought his tea to him that afternoon.

So, a new nightmare plagued him, and he continued to think of nothing else but the distance she was putting between them.

*

Friday

For the second time in his life, and moreover, the second time within a year, Harry left work early. Niall was insistent. He was agitated beyond belief, his one meeting he was completely distracted that Niall did most of the talking. Harry’s company was substantial, but surely, she couldn’t avoid him on the entire floor.

But she did. She managed somehow to avoid him even when he kept going in and out of Niall’s office and thereby walking through her little space. But she wasn’t there a single of the seven or so times he walked through. At one point he walked in for the sake of walking in. Niall was on the phone with a client. Harry just shook his head and left before even registering the fact Niall was there.

It was after the meeting that Niall encouraged him to leave for the day. “I don’t need to,” he snapped at his friend. “Jus’ get on with it,” he muttered.

Niall sighed, blew a long breath out his mouth. He packed his belongings from off the table and patted Harry on the back. “Meeting’s over, Harry,” he said and left him alone in the conference room.

He knew he was in tough shape but not even realizing the meeting was over seemed bad even for the way he was feeling. Rubbing the back of his head, he headed once more to Niall’s office. This time he wasn’t surprised she wasn’t there. Harry apologized to Niall quickly, returned to gather his stuff from his office, and left for home.

*

“Harry went home, so you don’t have to keep hiding,” Niall rolled his eyes as she tentatively tiptoed into her office. He didn’t look up, so he didn’t see the way she nearly dropped all of the papers in her arms at Niall’s sudden (accurate) accusation that she was hiding.

She bit her lip and put the papers on her desk. Niall didn’t look up as she walked toward his desk. “I yelled at him,” she whispered.

“Good, he probably deserved it,” Niall said simply. “People don’t yell at him enough. Think because he’s CEO, he’s without a flaw,” he shrugged. “He’s not, I’ve never seen him finish one document on his own because he never remembers how to fill it out. The man can’t multiply to save his life—I always do the tip at the restaurant. He has a terrible signature on contracts. It’s embarrassing to sign my name next to his. Also, he has a terrible handicap even though he’s been golfing for at least seven or so years now,” he said as if that should be the reason that she could yell at him. He looked up and smiled at her because it was an attempt to make her laugh but didn’t seem to do the trick.

“He’s also really cranky when he doesn’t see you at night now,” this was much softer said. His voice quiet as he further explained this. “And he bothers me. Called me at one in the morning last night asking if I wanted a porch swing. Do you know he has an online shopping problem? It’s worst when he's upset. He panic-ordered three sets of dishware when you got burned,” he continued. Her heart fluttered at the mention of a porch swing. It shot through her like a bolt of electricity. That was because of her. She knew it. But Niall’s attempt still got him not even a smirk. “You should probably go after him,” he smiled at her sadly once more. “You need to talk to him.”

She shook her head. “He won’t forgive me.”

Niall rolled his eyes again. “Would you forgive him if this whole crazy scenario was reversed?”

She looked at her feet because she wouldn’t even need to forgive him. It would be a non-issue. “I see why Harry made you his sous-chef around here,” she muttered...because yes, of course she would. Probably before he even tried to apologize, at that.

“I knew there was a reason,” he winked at her. “Have a lovely weekend, darling,” he said going back to the documents on his desk.

“Are you sure?” She whispered after a moment.

“He loves you. I promise.”

“But all the other interns...the...companions. I’d be no different falling all over him.”

“He fell for you long before you did,” he told her simply.

She swallowed, blushing at the notion. Her stomach flipped with hope. “Do you know he went to the funeral?” She whispered.

Niall frowned because he didn’t know that, but he did know that had to hurt her. He looked back up to meet her gaze and he smiled gently at her. “Another reason you should yell at him.”

“You’re a really good friend, Niall,” she rolled her eyes.

“Can’t wait to be one of your best friends, love,” he winked.

She took one more deep breath, hurried over to Niall’s desk. She kissed his cheek as he worked. He smiled. “Sorry I’m taking your job,” she whispered to him.

He threw his head back a bit and laughed. “I’d like to see you try,” but he didn’t mind, really. It would be worth it to have her around.

*

The driver was waiting at the edge of the cemetery. She took her wedges off so she wouldn’t get them covered in dirt as she sat cross-legged on the ground. She fiddled with the flowers—Eleanor probably planted them. Or maybe even her mom. She was surprised because there weren’t as many weeds pushing through the ground as there should have been—especially when she took notice of the other stones nearby. “I think you’d really like him,” she whispered. Of course, there was no response. “Louis likes him,” she told him. “So...there’s that,” she shrugged. “And he has a porch swing,” she added. “We’re not even together and he still didn’t cheat on me, so he beat the last guy, y’know?” she smirked sadly. “I wish you could’ve met him...”

She paused, looking around the grounds for a moment before she continued. “If you look, you can see a car over there, yeah? That poor man has to follow me everywhere because Harry doesn’t want me to get stuck without a ride in inclement weather or something,” she whispered, smiled sadly. “I’m so in love with him, I swear I can feel it in the atoms of my heart,” her eyes watered. “I gave him all the money back. I want him to know that I’m not...I don’t want money. I just want him,” she told him. “I know you would probably hate the idea of me being in love with anyone...but at least I waited until college...poor El stuck with Louis for the rest of her life,” she sighed as if it really were a tragedy. But it wasn’t. She loved Eleanor and Louis so much.

“Niall said he’s really bad at golf though, so you could still make fun of him about something,” she let out a watery laugh. “I miss you...so much,” she whispered. “I hope Dad is happy again,” she glanced over at the nearby plot of land. “He missed you,” she sniffled. “We all miss you,” her voice cracked. “Okay...I’m gonna go grovel for forgiveness, now,” she said. “I’ll see you soon,” she kissed two of her fingers and pressed them over his name before getting off the ground, brushing the dirt off, and headed for the car.

“Are you alright, Miss?” He asked with the utmost concern. He was opening the door for her as she approached.

She nodded, sniffling, and wiping her eyes. “For now,” she sighed. “Can you bring me to Harry’s?” She asked.

*

Harry didn’t want to answer the door. But whoever was on the other side knocked, then rang the doorbell. Knocked again. Doorbell again. Persistent.

If it was Niall coming to console him, he was going to kill him, simple as that. “For fucks sake,” he grumbled marching to the door in an angry fit. “Niall, y’made me leave early, and I did. What d’you want?” He snapped loud enough to hear through the door before ripping it out of the way.

She flinched at his harsh tone. Her eyes were puffy and red. She looked so defeated as she turned her gaze to the ground. His heart hammered against his ribs in total shock that she was there. Left him utterly speechless. “I know this is stupid...” she started. “I’m sorry. It’s not enough because you deserve so much more than sorry. It’s never going to be enough, but I am so... very sorry. I was...” she shook her head. “It doesn’t matter what I was. What I said was so hurtful and so untrue. You have to believe that,” she was staring at her feet while she spoke. “Harry,” her voice cracked, and she was so worried it wasn’t enough. He didn’t make any noise and she was certain if he didn’t forgive her, she would die in that spot. “I know you didn’t mean anything by what you did other than to help me. But I don’t accept help very well... in case it wasn’t obvious. Especially when it comes to something like...my career or my...past,” she explained. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you; I shouldn’t have said such awful things and I would time travel back to that moment and slap myself for even thinking about speaking to you like that. It was horrible,” she shook her head. “I’ll beg every day for as long as you want if you’ll forgive me,” she whispered. “I am—”

Harry pulled her into his arms suddenly, one arm around her waist, the other snaking up her back to hold the back of her head. He clutched her against him as tightly as he could without hurting her or inhibiting her breathing. “You were already forgiven,” he murmured breathing deeply into her hair. He kissed the side of her face. She released a long breath and buried her face against the side of his neck.

“You shouldn’t give in so easily,” she sniffled clinging back to him like he was a buoy. Of course, he kept her afloat.

“I’ll yell at you later if that’ll make you feel better.”

She nodded. “It really would.”

He smiled, kissed the side of her head again. Harry wouldn’t yell at her if his life depended on it. “I jus’ want t’take care of you,” he promised. “That’s it.”

“I know, you told me that first day you messaged me.” He smirked thinking about how a year ago, she wasn’t in his mind at all. He didn’t even know she existed. Now, he thought about spending one second without her beside him and it seemed like full-blown torture. “Louis said I take care of everyone else because the last time someone cared about me, they died,” she said bluntly. “Seven years of therapy and Louis was the only one who said it,” she muttered. Harry was glad she was tucked below his chin because he couldn’t help the smile that crossed his face. It was incredible she could make a joke in even the saddest of circumstances. She took a shivering, heaving breath. Harry tried to pull back so he could see her, but she squeezed him in place. Like she didn’t want to say it while looking at him. He nodded in encouragement for her to continue. “People will know if you hire me. You’d literally be making a position for me. And so… I thought if I got a job elsewhere... we could…” she swallowed the lump in her throat. She tucked her face deeper in his shoulder. “I…uh...”

He pulled back this time and didn’t stop when she tried to hold him in place. He pressed his hand to the side of her face and rubbed his thumb over her cheek. “Thought we could be a real couple?” He asked softly.

Her cheeks turned red as ever and she nodded. “Yes,” she whispered.

He didn’t pause for even half a second. He didn’t want her to make her feel embarrassed or worried about anything regarding their future. “Kitten, m’so in love with you, I don’t care if we tell the entire world. I don’t care if everyone knows or if no one knows. All that matters t’me is that I love you so much.”

Her eyes watered and her heart melted. She didn’t know how to tell him she loved him so much it hurt but he said it so beautifully and without a care. She didn’t know how to articulate it as perfectly as he did. “They should really put a warning on that site about how you may accidentally find your soul mate.”

He managed to smile this time for just a mere moment as she spoke; his heart skipped beats waiting for her to say she loved him back. While she didn’t say it exactly as he thought she would (but when did she ever do what he expected?), it was exactly what he wanted her to say and meant just as much if not even more.

Then he kissed her so deeply he thought he might bruise her lips. But if he did, he thought she might not even mind.

*

Harry lifted her legs, so they were wrapped around his hips. He carried her all the way to the kitchen, pausing only to kick the door closed. He settled her on the counter and started looking for some medicine. He didn’t ask if her head hurt because the redness in her eyes told him it was aching.

“You have t’take the money back,” Harry said leaning down to take her shoes off as she swallowed the medicine. He tossed them toward the TV room. “I shattered a lamp over it,” he stood back up and kissed her again on the forehead.

 “Niall told me,” she smirked at him. He stood between her knees.

“Can’t have any secrets with him,” Harry muttered.

She giggled and Harry pressed his lips to hers again then pulled back so he could hold her face between his hands. He smiled at her with a shake of his head. “God, you’re beautiful,” he mumbled.

“Mm... the bloodshot eyes? The tired dark circles? The gray skin? That does it for you?”

“M-hmm,” he pressed his nose along the side of her face inhaling the mixture of her hair and soap. He didn’t cater to her insults to herself. “Take the money back,” he mumbled into her ear and pressed a series of kisses down the length of her neck. She shook her head trying to ignore the dizziness she felt from his lips on her skin. “Please kitten,” he was begging. Objectively, it was adorable. But she couldn’t accept it.

“Baby, you can’t pay me a salary, pay my student loans, and let me live here all—”

“You’re going t’live here?” He pulled back from her neck suddenly with a sparkle in his eyes that made it look like he was a little kid. Like it was Christmas, and he was getting the sled he asked for.

Her face was definitely not gray at that moment. She was completely blushing almost beyond recognition at her mistaken words. She shook her head quickly, trying to backtrack (uselessly). “No! I meant the apartment! I didn’t say that—”

“Please, please, please,” he now for sure, full-on begged. “Please live here, kitten.”

Her heart fluttered and she bit her lip trying to recover from how much she had revealed by accident. “Well...what am I supposed to do with all my great IKEA furniture?” She asked.

He rolled his eyes and pressed his face back into her neck. She wrapped her arms and legs around him clinging to him. “Throw it out, of course.”

“You’re so mean.”

He nodded against her and sighed, so happy she was there. So happy she was all his. “The meanest,” he assented. “Please live here,” he mumbled kissing the curve where her shoulder and neck met.

“You do have a porch swing,” she amended verbally but as if she were weighing the consideration in her head. His lips on her skin had such an effect on her it was hard to stand her ground or concentrate on joking around with him about the idea. “Speaking of—Niall told me you asked if he wanted one. Are you getting a new one or someth—what’s that?” She asked, glancing out the window as she spoke. She pushed him away immediately, rushing outside. She stood on his porch in total shock staring at his newest purchase before she turned back to him with a curious expression.

He followed behind her and stood in the doorway. “You said you would sleep out here if you could,” he shrugged. “I thought I’d make it possible...in case you ever came back.”

Where her favorite porch swing used to hang, was now a spacious, gorgeous, porch bed with so many pillows, so many blankets, and it nearly looked comfier than her lovely mattress back at the apartment. Her eyes watered and she swallowed so hard because she knew she had said that nearly three months ago in passing. And he remembered. So even when she wasn’t speaking to him, it was enough that he did something for her without knowing if she’d really be back. “You are something else, Harry.”

“Wait till y’see my new canopy bed,” he smirked feeling his cheeks warm at her compliment. Her heart nearly stopped because the canopy was mentioned almost nine months ago and the idea that he remembered anything from nine months ago was...well it was very Harry and very perfect.

“Baby, I love you and your impulse shopping so very much,” she whispered unable to look away from that beautiful reminder of how much he adored her. It made her feel so light that he cared for her so much. Now that he did, it was hard to imagine not feeling like this ever again.

Harry had other ideas though. He twisted her so quickly, her breath caught in her throat. He turned her back to face him and not the new bed. One arm wrapped around her waist, and he brought his other hand to her cheek in the one instant that she couldn’t even stumble because Harry had such a tight hold on her. He smiled at her, as if he was just told he won the lottery. Truly, he felt like he did. “Say it again,” he mumbled pressing his forehead to hers, his lips almost brushing hers as he spoke. She smiled shyly, the heat coming from her cheek warmed Harry’s hand.

“Say what? I love you?” She asked looping her arms loosely around his neck. He nodded silently and kissed the tip of her nose. “I love you,” she grinned so cutely Harry thought he would burst.

“Again,” he mumbled smiling as he carefully squeezed around her waist to lift her just so her toes hovered above the ground. She giggled.

“I love you.”

He kissed her left cheek. “More,” he inched toward the new outdoor bed.

“I love you,” she whispered, giggling more at his sweet request as he kissed her right cheek.

“Again,” he repeated.

“I love you, so, so much Harry Styles,” she whispered, holding his face between her hands, and Harry laid her back on the bed and kissed her again, fully on the lips with no intention of leaving that space for the rest of the weekend. Or until she asked to go see the canopy bed.

Whatever she wanted.

--

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[samd1o1]

Hey I don’t want to comment for real bc I’m sick of arguing with people on tumblr

I just wanted to say that in that post about deadpool and wolverine’s queerness, you are like 1000% in the right. Normally I don’t feel this strongly about stuff but anyone who thinks that Disney seriously and earnestly “delivered” on deadpool (and wolverine?) being queer is delusional

I mean, I love the movie. I’ve seen it twice and giggled my way through it both times. Obviously I enjoy the queer aspect of their relationship. But what you said about being able to be critical of your favorite media is important. The fact that people are arguing that there are no issues with the gay jokes in d&w but ACTUALLY it’s all indicative of a genuinely made film about two queer men is like actually SO crazy

Thank you, yes! The movie is absolutely amazing in the fact it's funny and well written. And yes I like the gay jokes, they're cheeky and enjoyable. But I think they'd be more enjoyable if any amount of Wade's (and also Logan's) queerness was taken seriously. Even just a little seriously.

I think the part that annoyed me about the movie most was Wade breaking up with Vanessa. Yeah it works for the movie and his character development. But at the same time I can't help but assume the reasoning for it was so queer people could go "hey they're both single, maybe just maybe Deadpool and Wolverine will get together?" No they won't this is Disney. He'll probably be back together with Vanessa eventually (even if it's not immediately).

Like I said on the comments of the post you're referring to; saying this is good queer rep is just an excuse so Disney (and Marvel) doesn't have to actually try to make good representation. The MCU has had many issues like this before. The single Loki bisexual conversation only for them to chicken out on the mlm ship they were hinting at in S2 promotions. Loki also being labeled as genderfluid in promo stuff just for him to be referred to as a male Loki and such. Characters who are canonically bisexual in the comics like Starlord showing absolutely zero hints to their queerness. Eternals is the only real representation I can think of, but it felt very one note and boring. Like that whole movie.

In conclusion Deadpool is a great movie but my biggest gripe is just that the queer aspect is not taking seriously. As much as I love the Honda Odyssey scene, it would be cool if it wasn't just a weird mix of coding/bait. Queer coding is still a great writing tool. Using metaphors for queerness in fantasy can be fun. But the reason queer coding existed in the first place is because you weren't allowed to show any queer people on screen. But times have changed! You can show it, but Disney are cowards. The movie is also queerbaity as they set up things like Vanessa's break up only to start them almost back up again with Logan himself telling Wade to go for the girl. Not to mention all the promotional posters like Deadpool and Wolverine as Beauty And The Beast. Disneyland Deadpool is also being VERY heavy on the gay jokes, which makes me feel like they KNOW who their main target audience was gonna be with this movie, but they still need to cater to the movie dudebros as well. Maybe one day guys, maybe.

It's important to be critical of even your favorite media. If you weren't then it could never improve. Let your voices be heard! And to the people who think movies don't deserve such debate; why do you think that? So many people say that so they don't have to discuss representation in media but then turn around and rant about the comic accuracy. Also what do you think happens in a writers room? Criticism is important in media even to professionals. A movie is a group effort, many people had different ideas that eventually came together and made Deadpool 3. They also probably had many ideas that were shut down and not put in Deadpool 3 for various reasons. Some most likely being criticisms.

Ok I'm done ranting now. Deadpool 3, great movie, one of my favorites. But it would have benefited not only itself by being true to Wade and Logan letting them be their authentic queer selves; But it also would have benefited the queer community.

[seraphdreams]

If you do can you write Yandere Tokyo revengers characters pls?? Like with Izana/Mikey/whoever watching someone flirt with s/o and they're low-key losing it. If not that's okay and I hope you have a good day. ☺️

izana x gn!reader.

contains. yandere themes, guns, gender-neutral reader, stalking, slight manipulation (??), slight sexual themes.

ser’s note. this is like the first time i ever wrote izana, i’m sorry if he’s ooc!

you were never close with kurokawa izana, only exchanging one or two words with him every so often while you worked as one of his many assistants. you were a busy thing, not having the time to be caught up in his antics or the business he partakes in. yet to him, you were so much more. hours would pass by when izana would think of just how perfect you are, how you weren’t as uppity as the others around him, and just as sweet as his favorite drink.

to him, you were in love.

he took it upon himself to try and get closer with you. he’d call you in to work more hours, give you personal tasks, and even arrange a lunch session for the two of you. at first, you thought this was his way of getting used to his new employee but that suspicion hastily died down.

izana already knew any and every thing about you. he knew what time you woke up, what you ate for breakfast, the shops that you’d frequent — he knew it all; and he wasn’t ashamed of that. that’s what lovers do, right?

he had gotten into the habit of stalking you after a little business party had managed to get you too intoxicated to drive yourself home. izana had taken that opportunity to be cordial with you, get your address so that he knew it like the back of his hand and relish in the sight of you so unkempt. lovers see themselves at their most vulnerable, yes?

after that incident, you hadn’t noticed how often izana was around, merely because he was dexterous at concealing his presence. everyday at the same time for the past month, he’d get accustomed to your routines until there was a little disturbance that angered him more than any traitor.

“sorry i had you come by on such short notice, i’ve been so busy.” you say as you let some man inside your abode. to izana, he was some roguish individual, he looked as though he had no regard for you, and you allowed your guard to be down! if it was him, he’d never allow such a thing to happen. you led the man somewhere throughout your home, possibly the bedroom where izana found an opening to step inside your place since you so conveniently forgot to lock the front door.

he found solace in hiding behind a tall, slovenly houseplant while continuing to spy in on your conversation.

“it’s been a while since i’ve done this, i hope you don’t mind.” said the man. from those words alone, izana could only so much as guess what types of ordeals he was up to.

was he coming over for sex? to hookup?

either way, izana wouldn’t let that happen. he’s about you, he loves you. he’s the one to take your presumed innocence, not anyone else. yet, he keeps himself composed, slowly finding another spot to conceal himself in.

a few moments of silence pass by until izana’s interest is once again piqued.

“down there?” — “yeah, right there.”

the exchange has his heart rate bludgeoning and he knows for sure if he doesn’t stop whatever’s going on, that you’ll regret it for the rest of your life, he’ll regret it. he steadily makes his way to your room where he catches sight of that awful scum of a man with his body hovering over yours as you lay sprawled out on your bed.

like second nature, izana whips out the gun from his pocket, firing off a few warning shots that caused the man to jump from his previous position. izana lined the weapon to the man’s forehead, emotionless purple eyes boring into droopy brown ones. “mr. kurokawa?” you questioned, huddle up amongst your pillows, trying to minimize yourself as much as possible. “lay another finger on my baby and i’ll blow your brains out, y’hear me?”

maybe if it wasn’t too late, you could’ve explained that you had scheduled an appointment with an at-home trainer who was just helping you stretch your body out before working out, but as you know, your boss was extremely trigger happy.

with the shock that settled into you, it wasn’t hard to mold your malleable mind into some warped perception of the whole situation. you had genuinely believed izana did this all for you, to protect you because he sees dangers far better than you can. he had convinced you that the man in your house didn’t have your best interest at heart. he was just a con, like any other man.

you don’t need anyone else besides izana, and he’ll make sure of that.

[gallusrostromegalus]

For the fic writer ask meme, #8: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Here's a bit from An Elephant Is Soft And Mushy, where after Kenpachi goes on a short visit to what will later be Hueco Mundo, he and Byakuya sit down to do some scheduling late at night:

Warnings: This is the result of the Angst Goblin in my brain suddenly remembering Bleach OVA content and realizing that it makes several people's backstories much, MUCH worse, and not so much kicking the door in as blowing it away with a #suffering shotgun. Discussion of a canon character death, and an additional implied death :)

(tagging @cesium-sheep because you wanted to see what I was going to do with the characters.)

***

“...Ken-chan?.”  Yachiru glared from the doorway, rubbing the dark circles forming under her eyes. “Its really late.”

“I know, I know.”  Zaraki sighed. “Can’t sleep?”

“Nm.” Yachiru mumbled, shaking her head and leaning on the doorframe.

“Hand me that pillow behind you.”  Zaraki pointed, sitting up and shifting positions so his leg was sticking out beside him. 

“Ta. C’mere.”  he nodded, taking the pillow from Byakuya and setting it in his lap. Yachiru plodded over, waved at Byakuya briefly while yawning, and curled up beside Zaraki’s leg, head on the pillow and shoulders in his lap. He returned his attention to the patrol schedule, changing which hand he was writing with to gently stroke her hair. 

“...I didn’t know you were ambidextrous.”  Byakuya blinked.  Perhaps this was the key to his success as a swordsman with no experience in kendo?

“Nah, I’m Buddhist.” he shrugged. “Right, where were we-?"

"I believe were up to May." nodded Byakuya, tabling his questions of handedness for now.

"May... That’s right before graduation and when everyone who is gonna quit or transfer does, right before summer scheduling so I’ve got a skeleton crew until the end of June-”

“Every division has the same problem, but yours does tend to suffer it more severely.” Byakuya agreed, watching Yachiru roll over and pull Zaraki’s leg closer like a stuffed toy, apparently setting quickly.  "Prob'ly a terrible idea, but what about dropping bait in a few tactical spots so we draw the hollows to places that can be managed with fewer patrols, rather than try to cover more ground.” Zaraki suggested, tapping a few open plains on the map.

“It’s been done in the middle districts with good results.” Byakuya nodded. “The difficulty is in the cities, where there is too much cover to patrol effectively, and in the more remote regions, where bait doesn’t have the range to effectively draw the hollows in.  But it may alleviate some of the staffing issues…”

Half an hour later they’d worked out a reduced patrol schedule that would still likely catch the majority of hollows approaching human settlement, when they were interrupted by Yachiru’s soft snores. Zaraki paused mid-sentence to grin apologetically, and turned his attention back to Yachiru, shaking her shoulder until she rolled over and quieted down. 

“She sleeps very soundly, but not if you’re absent?” Byakuya asked, watching the girl in the yellow lamplight.

“Yeah, but it’s not really a surprise.” Zaraki shrugged. “If anything, it’s that she’s taken to sleeping in her own bed as much as she has.”

“At her age?”  Ages were a relative thing in the soul society, but Yachiru was reading well and getting her adult teeth, as she had demonstrated her loose incisor at the last captain’s meeting- by the time he’d done so, Byakuya had been commanded to sleep in his own room for well over a decade. 

“I mean-  Sure, she’s five hundred thirty-eight now, but she spent nearly all of that homeless with me.  She was just a cabbage when I found her, and you don’t sleep without something between you and the ground, but you really don’t let a baby sleep where they’ll get cold, so for the first couple decades she slept inside my Kosode, then after it was on my chest, and then when she got to heavy for that she slept in my lap and now it’s by my back or under my arm.” He explained fondly, stroking her hair out of her face. “I’ve been her bed for half a millennium now, and I’ll probably be her bed when I’m ten thousand years old and nothing but bones and liver spots.”

Byakuya was silent for a long time.

…Had he ever slept in his father’s arms?  If he did, he had no memory of it.

“That’s a miserable mug.” Kenpachi said, nudging his arm. 

“I am rather morose this evening, it seems.”  He sighed, looking out at the moon. 

“Any hope of cheering you up?” he offered, gesturing around the small room that made his home, broadly offering whatever he had on hand.

“I appreciate the sentiment, but I do not think so.”  Byakuya shook his head.

“Ah. Monsoon mood kind of thing.” Kenpachi nodded, and frowned, turning something over in his head.  “If you’re already going to be miserable, can I ask something awful?”

Byakuya tilted his head a bit to indicate he was listening.

“Yachiru goes to your place a lot- don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful for every minute you’re willing to watch her. Was hard enough taking care of her out in the Rukongai, but now with the job- thanks.”

“It is… pleasant. To have her company.” Byakuya nodded. “Thank you for trusting me with her care.”

Kenpachi nodded in acknowledgement, chewing his lip. “...Last time, when I came to pick her up, I saw a lotta toys in the compound.  Cute stuff- dolls, the tea set she badgered you and Jushiro into playing tea ceremony with her-   But no other kids. You an’ Rukia really are the last generation, aren’t you? At least, until one of you is lucky enough to have kids.”

Byakuya looked up at Kenpachi, eyes hardening a bit in suspicion.

“...You used to be married.” Kenpachi continued.

Byakuya glared outright.

“-My condolences. Honestly. I’m not so lucky in love as you were, and losing her suddenly like that must’ve felt like getting your chest ripped open, ‘cept you don’t get the mercy of dying too.”

“What was it you wanted to ask?” Byakuya demanded, voice hard and dangerously quiet..

“I worked with a lotta women, and saw the problems they have up close. Retsu’s a damn good doctor, but even she can’t stop something if she doesn’t know it’s there to stop. Like an internal hemorrhage or septic infection, where there’s no outside problem and everyone tells women they’ll be sick and in pain during a pregnancy, so she just ignores it for a few hours but by then-”

He was interrupted by the crunch of wood as Byakuya’s fingers dug into the table.

“What was her name?” Asked Kenpachi.

“Hisana.”  Byakuya growled. “My wife’s name was Hi-”

“-Not her.” Kenpachii growled back. “Who was the little girl all those toys at the compound were intended for?”

Byakuya froze. 

“You had the baby sexed, or you wouldn’t have gotten dolls and tea sets. Surely you picked out a name.”  Kenpachi met his gaze, cool and unflinching like iron. “What was your daughter’s name?”

For a minute, there was only the horrible numbess of grief.

“...Noriko.”  Byakuya finally whispered, hands shaking as he let go of the table and hid his face. “My daughter’s name was Noriko.”

“Noriko.” Kenpachi nodded.  His face didn’t exactly change but the hardness was gone.

Byakuya choked, hands pressed to his mouth. “I never-  nobody’s ever said her name aloud-”

“Noriko.”  Kenpachi repeated, and Byakuya sobbed.  “Noriko, daughter of Hisana and Byakuya.”

Byakuya crumpled, hand clasped to his mouth to try to stifle the sobs, staring at Yachiru, still snoring in her father’s lap, tears streaming down his face and staining his scarf.  There was a weight on his shoulder.  It belonged to Kenpachi’s hot, scarred hand.

“I’m sorry.” Kenpachi’s voice was barely a whisper, eyes maybe just a bit red too. “But I needed to know, so I can ask what I actually need to ask.”

“What?” Byakuya whimpered, staring back at him.

Instead of answering, Kenpachi let go and shook Yachiru’s shoulder. “Hey, Kiddo.”

“Mgh?”  She blinked. 

“I need to get up a minute and your uncle needs a hug.” he said, pulling her up into a sitting position. 

“ -’kay.” she yawned, getting up and plodding over to Byakuya and leaning into his shoulder, eyes still closed. He held her, trying to not squeeze too hard, face in her own shoulder, gasping-

“Bya-chan?”  She mumbled, blinking at him. “You okay?”

“Just-  Just missing someone.” he stammered.  Kenpachi was rifling through the file cabinet on the other side of the room. 

“Oh.  Here-”  Yahiru said, straightening up and hugging him back properly.  

He couldn’t stop the sob this time, squeezing Yachiru to his chest for a long moment. “...Thank you, Kusajishi-san.” “ ‘s Yachiru.” she groaned, rolling her eyes at him. “Sorry, ‘m really tired…”

“-Curl up on him, I can’t find the damn thing I was looking for.” Kenpachi called from the other side of the room. 

“ -‘kay. G’night.”  Yachiru mumbled, sliding down Byakuya’s chest and immediately settling in his lap. He had to fight the urge to sob again, trying to hold still and cradle her. He watched her eyelashes flutter and she drifted off, the way she wiggled to make herself more comfortable, the slow rise and fall of her chest as she slept-

“She out?” Kenpachi asked, peering over the table. 

“Y-yes, I believe so.” Byakuya whispered, trying to not wake her. 

“Good, I don’t want her hearing and worrying.” Kenpachi grunted, sitting down again and placing a file folder on the table between them.  “Sorry to ask you such a bitch of a question but-  Well.  Needed to know the measure of man you are.”

Byakuya watched as Kenpachi pulled off his haori off his left shoulder, with a small grunt of pain, followed by the same shoulder of his kimono and kosode-  Byakuya belatedly realized the thing that had looked off about Kenpachi earlier was that his uniform was closed up properly for once, as he stared at the bandages, gauze, still-healing stitches and brace that was only barely holding the left half of his ribcage together. 

Apparently the campaign in the realm of the hollows had been harder on Kenpachi than he had let on. 

“Restu said the blade that fucking thing had got within half an inch of my heart, and that almost wouldn’t have mattered with the amount of broken bones and other damage.”  he explained, wheezing “I have the devil’s own luck somehow, but I’m not convinced that I’m actually immortal, so I needed to know-”  he pushed the file folder closer to Byakuya and opened it, revealing legal documents. 

“-If something happens to me, will you be Yachiru’s Godfather?”  He asked,head bowed and his only mobile hand up like he was begging. “You’re her favorite person in this city after me, and now I’m sure you’ll take good care of her-”

"You are spectacuarly bad at diplomacy, Zaraki." Byakuya sighed as signature was already drying on the paper.

[eddiediazismyhusband]

Can I ask you to list a couple things you do like about the show? Or the actors? Or the characters? Or heck anything 911 related? Because it seems like you and your other anons don’t like anything to do with any aspect of it at all from the writers down to the smallest of storyline details 😅

which at that point is probably a good time to step back and stop engaging with it either temporarily or permanently since all it’s gonna do is continue to feed into the negativity your having over it since nothing seems to be bringing you joy about it.

can yall not read? like seriously can yall not read the words when i say “i am not goign to watch season 8 until something good happens”

i feel like a goddamn parrot on here when people like you keep coming into my inbox with this same fucking “maybe you should step back” thing like yeah that’s what i have been fucking saying????

im not going to stop interacting with my friends on here- that’s out of the question. i still love being involved in the fanfic community and i still love the first 5 seasons of the show, but im not going to lie and say that i have been pleased with the most recent installments. if you actually took the time to read my blog and what i talk about you would see that i adore eddie and his queer subtext. i adore buddie as a ship, probably to a crazy degree. i love henren, and bathena, and madney. josh russo is literally one if my favorite canonically queer characters on tv.

i adore this cast with the exception of the talentless nepo baby half the fandom wanna suck the dick of (god knows why other than he’s a fugly white man who kissed their favorite white boy) i love seeing them interact with each other outside of the show.

can i ask you what the writers have given us to actually enjoy the past two seasons? other than the madney wedding? nothing else has been decently written, or taken the story in a positive direction. yeah, we got bi buck but he’s in a relationship with a literal misogynistic racist man who has had repeatedly treated buck horribly with no acknowledgement whatsoever. so no, i don’t like the writers or tim minear at the moment because they have had every opportunity to usher in something positive for eddie, but no bc tim “this show is a drama” minear would rather give the happy plots to his white characters while running his poc characters through more unnecessary trauma and pain (with the exception of chimney, although his happy plotline only happened after he was near-fatally sick an entire episode and bobby whose plotline was centered around a black man’s trauma being dug up and thrown in his face)

the earlier season of this show were such a joy to watch live when it felt like there was actually care going into it from the showrunners and writing team, but lately it’s just them throwing darts at whatever wack-ass drama plot they can think of.

this cast works too fucking hard for the vapid shit they get given to act out each week.

which is why i (once again, in case you were about to gloss over this) I AM NOT WATCHING SEASON EIGHT UNTIL SOMETHING IS DONE TO FIX THE MESS THEY MADE

perhaps writing it in bold, italicized caps will make it easier for you to get it through your head.

and as far as “my anons” if you actually had enough confidence in your message, then why are you hiding behind anon, hm?

i have said multiple times i love interracting with my friends and fandom content that doesn’t have to do with spec. i have said multiple times im holding off on season 8. i have never said i hate the cast or i hate every single plotline the show has ever had, but you know what i did hate? how s6 and s7 turned the show into a fucking ooc mess. it is within my rights as a fan to dislike a season of a show for valid reasons.

what’s not okay is you coming into my inbox repeatedly saying “take a break” when i’ve said multiple fucking times that i plan to rather than just blocking me if youre so offended by people agreeing with me that the show is at a make it or break it point.

please kindly take yourself out of my space if you’re not going to actually take the time to read the words i post and just immediately send me anonymous hate because you didn’t like my posts

[clubdionysus]

MOTHER HOLLY HOLLY HOLLLYYY. I like to think I am an OG as I’ve been reading your works since you had to convince us that Throttle was NOT going to be like Icarus.

Still too traumatized to finish Throttle😭😭 But I know it’s going to be good when I do catch up.

But i HAVE to say, I think you’ve completely out done yourself with this one. Bad Decisions is absolutely insane and I absolutely love it. If this became an actual book in stores, I’d buy the paperback and I only audible novels nowadays😭😭. Even though I still can’t understand the British slang you know in there as an American, I love it solely bc it almost feels like a trademark in all of your stories to incorporate these british words I’ve never heard of even though English is my only language.

We started with You Up being my comfort story to being obsessed Disco Ball and her little buzz lightyear. I LOVE how in almost all your stories (give or take for the couple darker themes) Jungkooks personality is the same to the core, but they’re all still unique to the story line and the female lead is so real. It’s real, the people you create and I love that I can visualize it, feel right there in your stories. Feel involved and understand them.

I just have to express how MUCH i love your writing and BD just so happens to be the best of all time. I don’t think I’ll be able to handle it being finished. Although I only just started #57, I wish you could write them FOREVER!!! I don’t know how it will feeel to reread the story bc the FEELINGS you stole from me!!! RUDE!! TOUGH LOVE I GUESS IS YOUR THING.

BUT YOU ALSO ARE SO NASTY!$!!! THESE TWO ARE NASTY!!! I LOVE NASTY!!! I’m starting to think you’re a TI*** gal with the reoccurring themes maam!!

LASTLY im obsessed with the style you write in. Your ability to go from such beautiful descriptive writing to it being so casual, almost as if we are reading their exact thoughts in that exact moment. I love how you can fluidity transition from internal POV to such conviction. It’s fun and amazing at the same time. I definitely think it keeps my short attention span engaged with the conversational/real world writing. Almost as if you are writing transcriptions.

Anyways HOLLY YOU ARE MY FAVORITE AND IVE BEEN READING YOUR STORIES SINCE LIKE 2020 and I’ve LOVED being along in this journey with you and I’m already dreading the ending of BD and don’t want it. But don’t hold off I don’t like that either. EITHER WAY whatever it is will be good, NEVER BEEN disappointed… excepty maybe for the way Byeol isn’t American bc if that nasty red goblin tried it, we would of been in a fight the second she looked at me funny. LOVE FROM TEXAS MISS HOLLY CANT WAIT TO CONTINUE READING YOUR WORK EVEN IF YKU END UP A PUBLISHED AUTHOR

^^ me @ u rn :( waaa so cute!!!!!!

thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!! where to even begin with this ask??!!!!!! firstly, just pls accept the biggest thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts with me!! <3 I know it must have taken a lil while to write all that out!!

im answering under a read more just for the sake of peoples dashboards hehe

LMAO im making edits to the answer bc i reread and have just noticed a few more things - first MOTHER? am I mother???!!! hahaha that's killed me off. in my mother era

I AM SORRY FOR THE ICARUS TRAUMA

.... or am i hehehhee

it's funny because i very nearly killed jimin in throttle to make up for not killing him in icarus LOL but I made a promise I had to keep!! the throttle ending is v tame!!! people were actually disappointed with it LOL but it's a fable!!! a cautionary tale!!!! is the opposite of icarus!!!! it does exactly what it needs to :D

Thank you SO much for your kind words!! bad decisions has been such labour of love, and the response has been so heart warming. you really do get back what you put in, yanno!!

the funny thing is, bd is three-four standard novel long already. if it was a 'real' book, it'd be an entire series hahaha, no publisher would ever pick it up, so it will forever be our special lil fan fic <3

i always try and make sure my jungkooks are close to him in some way shape or form. even slut war jk is gonna be very jk (just more so the eccentric, slightly unhinged side). i think the wonderful thing about having a muse like jungkook is that he just offers up so much of his heart to us fans, and it makes it so easy to write something that feels so 'true' to him. our baby star candy <33

i do think, out of all of my jk's, bd jk is probably the one that draws on his real personality the most, but that's partially because it was written in tandem with all those weverse lives of him being the absolute best boy :(

lmaooooooo, bd jk gets his nastiness from my virgo boy. sigh, i just love virgos <33and re: titties it'ss bc i have arguably the biggest ones known to man </3 life is so hard </3333

ahhh see it's funny, my friends irl who don't know much about my writing always say that whenever they read my writing, its sounds like how I talk, so I definitely think my narrative voice matches my actual voice. it's taken me a while to develop my writing style and its something I'm proud of bc I feel like I've managed to establish a voice that you just *know* is mine.

thank you so so much for this ask. i saw it when it came in, but was in the middle of something at work, and so I have just been thinking about it for the past couple of days with a lil smile on my face. I'm so so grateful to have such kind hearted readers <33

sending love from daegu!!! <33

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Hey Michelle! Can I ask #11, #17, #20, #47 for our little ask game? 😘

Ooooh these are great questions! 🥰

11. what’s something neat you’ve learned while doing research for something you were writing? also, how much do you worry about doing research in general?

In general I'd call myself a "semi" researcher. Sometimes I go really in-depth with it, others I will allow myself a bit of leeway. I'll say fics that tend to have a more medical situation I try to do more research on. For example, Not Losing You deals with Dean having cancer and I was extremely nervous about getting the details right. A part of that story deals with Dean needing a bone marrow transplant and I discovered that patients that have the procedure done have a ~60% survival rate 1 year post transplant (when you factor in a bunch of stuff like non-familiar donors). It's a risky procedure for sure. It's not a guarantee but if you make it that far, your odds increase with each year and many people end up living full life spans without recurrence. Science has always been incredibly interesting to me so I love discovering facts like that.

17. what is your favorite line you’ve ever written?

That's a tough one. I'm limiting myself to Dean stuff for this just so it doesn't take me five years to dig through a 1,000 fics 😂

From Love Her (because the whole story builds towards this):

“I want my dad,” you said. “I’m sorry Y/N but you can’t see your dad right now,” he said. “Why not?” you asked. “Well it’s a little dangerous and-” “I want my dad. I want Dean,” you said, staring up at him. “I want to see my dad.”

From Broken Like Me (because this story deals heavily with body image issues and this moment is a turning point for the reader):

“How can you say that,” you said, trying to pull his hands away from your face but failing. “I’m not pretty without the scar and with it I’m hideous.” “Agree to disagree,” he said, sliding a hand up, tracing over the skin. “I know you hate this but I love it.” “Why?” you asked, fighting back another round of sniffles. “It means you’re alive. I got a chance to meet you and now I get to be with you,” he said. “I wish you could see that and it’s okay that you don’t. Maybe someday you will.”

From Unconventional (because the SASS on this girl is some of my favorite):

“Yes, Mr. Carter?” “That is a beautiful collar,” he said. “I suppose. I like yours too,” you said. “I’m not wearing a collar, Omega.” “My mistake. I see you wearing that tie and my little Omega brain goes someone left your leash on you,” you said, giving him a smile. Dean bit down a smile as you picked up your lemonade, John smirking as Mr. Carter cleared his throat. “If you were my Omega, I’d have you muted,” said Carter. “If I were your Omega, I’d off myself,” you said.

Okay, last one from 39 Hours because it just sets the tone of who Dean is and his goals so fast (and explains the title):

“A case goes cold after the first 48 hours statistically. Out here in the small town environment, I put that at 45. You were taken from your home at approximately 2:30 this morning. You escaped the vehicle you were in approximately twenty minutes later, did a combination of hiding and running for the next several hours until you worked your way back to town where at such time authorities were called. You were taken back to the scene at which point it was determined that my guy is the one that took you. It took me another two hours to get here, twenty minutes of getting up to speed and it’s already 8:45 so I’ve really only got 38 hours and 45 minutes left,” said Dean, glancing over at you. “How much more of my time would you like to waste?”

20. what is your favorite trope to write?

This is a tough one. I love so many of them but there's something about a good enemies to lovers. There's immediate angst and conflict to play with naturally from the characters on top of the plot. A lot of my favorite stories I've written have that theme I've noticed without even realizing.

47. what story are you most proud of?

Much like you, the stories that get a big emotional response or people have told me have helped them through a bad day or time mean the absolute world to me. This isn't necessarily the story I'm most proud of because it's hard to pick just one but The Game (Dean x reader) comes to mind.

I'm known for my happy endings and I basically wrote a story where I open with Dean is dead and the reader is grieving which is soooo not my writing style. I'm not a crier and I was crying writing this one. I got comments from people like myself that I know also aren't that way and there's something giddy about making the stone-faced readers sob 😂 But this story also feels real, like it could have easily happened in the show and is something Dean would have done. This is one I highly recommend!

Thanks for the questions Zep! This took me down memory lane looking at old fics again! 💕

[slightecho]

20 Questions For Fic Writers

I got tagged by @daydreams-and-honeybees and @halcyonhue (it won’t let me tag you and idk why! 😭)

This is gonna be very interesting and silly bc I have written much and posted little!! 🤣

TAGGING: @silvvergears if you havent done this before and…… actually idk who among my fic writing friends has or hasn’t done this one bc I’ve seen it going around a few times, so if you are a fic writer and want to do it, i’m tagging you!! 😆

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

LMFAO only 4

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

481,043 words jfc 😨

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I used to dabble in writing voltron fic years ago, and that makes up the majority of works on my ao3 but currently writing for The Owl House and I’m hoping to outnumber the Voltron fics on my account with other fandoms 😎

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Lmao uhhhh since I only have 4 published, I’m just gonna say the top two tbh 😅😅😅

Ashes takes the number one, with Crowd of Thousands as my second most kudos on a fic

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes!! I love responding to comments! I want to discuss things with people reading my fics and (especially in the case of Ashes), I wanna see what my readers theories are on what’s going to happen. It’s one of my favorite parts of having people who read what I write!!

If you’ve ever left me a comment and I haven’t responded, don’t be discouraged. Sometimes I just don’t know what to say beyond a giant thanks for reading. 😅 And sometimes I won’t reply if my last reply was a teaser

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Uhhhh so if I had finished it, it WOULD have been the untitled Bungo Stray Dogs Heathers AU fic I got like 75% of the way done writing and then abandoned.

But other than that I don’t have any with an angsty ending—oh wait no ¡Viva La Gloria! is technically a published fic in my ao3 isn’t it?

Yeah it’s ¡Viva La Gloria! then lmao

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Crowd of Thousands currently.

Ashes by the time it’s done.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Haven’t yet ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Pls don’t send me hate I’ll cry

Criticism and critique are fine. Just don’t be mean to meeeee pls 😊

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have.

Nothing published anywhere.

I’m not very good at it

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Not really. I don’t really read them either tbh

I’m kind of the kid who doesn’t want their foods to touch on their plate when it comes to entire fandoms in fics it’s just not my thing

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not yet, or at least not to my knowledge.

Knocking on wood now

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Somewhat?

The planned Elowyn piece I have is something my girlfriend and I came up with together. So I have co-authored concepts

The first two or three chapter of Ashes, besides the prologue, there was a LOT taken from the discord RP that I’d originally come up with the plot of Ashes for. I had permission from that friend to use them. And I heavily, HEAVILY took out and then rewrote their portions (namely the Raine parts of the chapters “Moving Day” and “Hexside” bc the rest at the time were my characters). Their original writing has been scrubbed and a lot of Raine’s character and story arc has transformed into something else entirely. Pretty much all that remains is that they were the one who came up with the idea that Raine was Manny’s sibling. If they read it, they could probably still see the bones of what they wrote if they squint. But by the time Luz hits Eda with the door in “Hexside,” they’d already moved on from the rp. So it was very easy to rewrite around their parts and just reuse the posts I that I had written for those chapters.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

That’s too hard a question how dare you

I like too many ships

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Oh jeez.

Either the untitled Bungo Stray Dogs Heathers AU that was never posted anywhere, or The First Golden Guard.

Pretty much The First Golden Guard i have just notes scribbled out of the plot, what I think the first chapter is, and some various bits of dialogue from different moments in the fic. But then I started writing Ashes and that took over my life, and now I really want to write The Caleb Files, and the bonus stuff that got cut from Ashes. Plus the Elowyn fic. so I just don’t know if it will ever get written now

16. What are your writing strengths?

Description and voice.

I really love getting a little flowery when describing action or setting while writing. And in the case of setting in particular, I think I have a more natural ability.

I also really strive to make sure each character’s own unique way of talking comes through in their dialogue. Maybe not always when the narration makes the reader privy to their thoughts and emotions, but at the very least, their dialogue does.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Bro just cannot stop yapping!!

I actually genuinely do believe my greatest weakness is my inability to shut up sometimes. I’m sure if I go back and reread Ashes from the beginning, I’ve said the same shit multiple times.

Also sometimes I just get repetitive!! And I use certain colloquialisms like “just,” “after all,” and “as if” FAR too often.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

sigh.

I am a latinx person who lived through the VLD fandom… I have a LOT of opinions… and I have seen some bad Spanish dialogue written by non-Spanish speakers… the kind of shit that stands out to even me, when I have little verbal fluency.

Here’s the thing: I am not AGAINST anyone writing another language of dialogue into their fics. I actually do think it’s a good thing.

HOWEVER!!!

If you are a person who only speaks one language—if you’re a person who kind of doesn’t know what I’m talking about when I say ‘code switching’ or only understands the basic definition of code switching—I am BEGGING you to try and have someone with more experience in that language than you to proofread those dialogue sections.

The amount of times I’ve seen weird moments where the code switching didn’t make logical or emotional sense for the character beyond the author’s “I want to include Spanish here” is innumerable. And that’s not to say code switching needs to have a deep, profound reason all the time—sometimes code switching happens bc there’s no word or phrase in one language that directly translates from the concept or emotion you know how to describe in another! But from what I’ve found, there are a lot of people who understand code switching in concept (and that it’s important for representation) but not in practice bc they simply have no firsthand experience with it. I don’t blame them, though! It’s a hard thing to understand on description alone! Unless you’ve experienced it before, I don’t think it’s something you can fully comprehend. And it can stand out. You can even think you’ve done it right on technicality, but it falls flat.

A tiktok in how to spot AI images I once saw said “AI understands that a mirror, or stairs, or chair legs have to be there there, but it doesn’t understand why it functionally exists or what purpose it serves” and therefore it makes mistakes by adding twelve stairs on the right and fourteen on the left, or five legs on two chairs that are somehow sharing them, or mirrors won’t show the correct items reflected back. I’ve seen many well-meaning fic writers (and published authors!!!) do the exact same thing with language switching. They understand that it should be there, but not functionally why.

Also a basic “don’t rely on google translate” here….. but also a less basic one: different cultures of a shared language are gonna have different turns of phrase and different slang. I’ve also seen a lot of fics that have Lance (a Cuban character) using Mexican slang or words. That’s always awkward.

There’s just a lot. I could go on about this forever but I think I pretty much covered it all.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Ever?! Lmfao Harry Potter when I was a young teen. I didn’t understand what I was doing at all and only did it because my older friend who knew I liked writing my original stories at the time said that I should try writing fic.

I didn’t even have a plot or anything. I just genuinely thiugh fanfic was writing your little self insert OCs and perpetually playing with them in a dollhouse made of your favorite thing 🤡🤡🤡

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Wholly and completely, without a shadow of a doubt

Ashes

It’s genuinely the first fic I’ve ever written where I have actually wondered if I was better off writing it as an original story and going the publishing route. Unfortunately for future me and fortunately for you all, I’m way too attached to the characters as their original names and incarnations to do that 🤣

It’s also the first fic I’ve ever written where I went into it already knowing every piece of the puzzle and having all the clues laid out to perfectly set them up ahead of time. I’m very proud of that and I long for the day where someone rereads Ashes after it’s over and discovers the tiny things in the extremely early chapters that were hints towards the end.

[poibynt]

AO3 wrapped!

Respond to this with what you would call the top 5 fanfics you’ve read in 2022. Any genre! Any ship! (Bonus points: if you’re a creator, make this a 5+1 and include your favorite fic you wrote in 2022!)

Then leave this in your friends’ asks too. Let’s give creators one more spotlight before the year ends, and share some of what we’ve enjoyed along the way!

First off, how DARE you MAKE ME CHOOSE 5. 5????? Crimes. To be contrarian, I’m doing 6+1. Fuck you.

There’s so many ways you can rate fic, bc I’ve truely read so many amazing fics this year. I’m gonna go by how much brain space these fics took up, and how many times I’ve gone back to reread them. I’m also not counting anything I’m betaing for since like it’s my job to reread and let those fics take up a lot of brain space, and also bc in my mind betaing a fic isn’t really “reading”. If I was counting them though they would make the list.

6. |a leap in faith| by littlekaracan

Star Wars, codywan. 10k.

I’m an absolute sucker for wing fics. SUCKER. And this fic just has such a lovely level of intimacy, but with just a smidge of repression & pining that makes it very compelling. It’s an incredibly comforting and comfortable read and I find myself coming back to it now and then when I want something soft. Littlekaracan is one of my fav Codywan writers and they write Cody so well I’m always very compelled by the way they represent him!

5. Stalker’s tango by crashing_meteros

Star Wars. Bobadin. 7k

I was and still am very taken by the nonlinear structure of this fic. It’s incredibly well done and remains not just coherent but very expertly builds the plot. I’m always very intrigued by Boba and Din have met before aus and this fic’s take on that idea is just so unique and compelling. I support bobadin’s rights to be total and utter shitheads.

4. The wrong stars by tciddaemina (@ticddaemina)

RDR2. Charthur. 36k

I am not immune to eldritch cowboys. I am NOT IMMUNE TO INCREDIBLY WELL EXECUTED ELDRITCH COWBOYS. I don’t think I have anything more coherent to say other than ELDRITCH COWBOYS.

3. While Mighty Oaks Do Fall by witchofendor (@a-witch-in-endor)

Atla. Zukka. 155k

This fic’s premise, incredibly oversimplified, is atla but Zuko is a lawyer. And I LOVE IT. It has this incredible blend of theology, law and political manuvering. I love some good old politics but I don’t know a lot about religion and law. This fic not only made me care and be invested in fantasy theology and law, it made me care more about real life theology and law which I think is a major accomplishment. The author clearly knows their stuff and it makes the fic way more compelling. The fleshing out of institutions like the firesages and the theological practices of other nations is incredibly well executed and compelling. I deeply care about WMODF zuko and literally just every time I re-read chapter 15 I cry.

2. War Games by Lovely_Elbow_Leech (@lovelyelbowleech)

Atla. Zukka. 271k

This one wins the “OC character most likely to tempt Flynn’s aromanticism” award. Everyone and their grandmother goes on about how much they like Shen BUT OH MY GOD I LOVE SHEN. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!!! While I love love love War Crimes (this fic’s prequel) War Games does such a stellar job balancing so many moving parts, characters and plot lines that it’s incredibly impressive. It’s handling of the aftermath of War Crimes and the kind of damage that does to Sokka and Zuko is Very Very Good and feels realistic & grounded and not torture porny. This is also maybe my fav characterisation of Suki like ever. I can’t wait to see how this fic unfolds and comes together.

1. A simple thing by Iridan (@ryehouses)

Star Wars. Bobadin. 808k

The rest of the fics on this list are very close together, with little separating them between ranks. This fic is the exception. 2022 has been the year of AST for me in a lot of ways. I can’t go into all the things I love about this one or we’d be here all day. It has crept into the fibers and seams of my mundane life in a way only few things have been able to. It’s helped me keep time, to know what day it was relative to updates. It’s let me examine parts of myself I didn’t know we’re there. It’s kept me entertained, and thinking, and given me the ability to reflect and grow as a person. There’s not much you can do to top that.

(Honourable mention: ruins, healing by mistake by Scourge_of_nemo. Star Wars. Bobadin 5k.)

+1. At ash’amur, norac at norac. At oyayc, pel’gam at pel’gam.

Star Wars. Bobadin. 4K

I have written 2 fics this year, but seeing as only one of them is currently published I’m going with that by default (rip my podfic this isnt about you). This fic was written in one sitting directly after the finale of tbobf made me briefly loose my mind. I have a lot of fondness for the feeling I had while writing it, and I like the way it turned out. Really should go back and edit it someday huh.

[albertonykus]

Doraemon Movie Review: Nobita's Chronicle of the Moon Exploration (2019)

What is Doraemon? The title character of the Doraemon manga and anime is a blue robotic cat from the 22nd Century who keeps an array of high-tech gadgets in a portable pocket dimension on his belly, and has traveled from the future to improve the fortunes of a hapless schoolboy named Nobita. Although relatively obscure in the English-speaking world, Doraemon is a Mickey-Mouse-level cultural icon in East Asia (and some other regions, too). The Doraemon franchise was a big part of my childhood, and there are still elements of it that I enjoy now.

Doraemon has released theatrical films almost annually since 1980, most of which involve Nobita and his friends (kind Shizuka, brash Gian, and crafty Suneo) getting swept into adventures thanks to Doraemon's gadgets. Despite being of potentially broad appeal to fans of science fiction and animated films, there are very few English reviews of the Doraemon movies, so I'm embarking on a project to write about all the films that have come out so far. Good luck to me…

Movie premise: Doraemon helps Nobita create an alternate reality where rabbits live on the moon.

My spoiler-free take: Out of the non-remake movies to come out of the 2005 Doraemon anime reboot, this might be the one that comes closest to feeling like a “classic” Doraemon film so far, and I consider that a good thing.

POTENTIAL SPOILERS AFTER THIS POINT

Review: If one were to boil this movie down to its individual core elements, I think they’d find very little that hasn’t been done in previous Doraemon films. (Okay, having one of the movie-only characters pose as a transfer student and actually interact with Nobita’s classmates outside of the main cast is new.) However, that actually works to its benefit, in my opinion. After so many of the post-reboot Doraemon movies have felt experimental in one way or another (with varying degrees of success in my book), it was nice to see one that replicates the vibe of a classic Doraemon story without being a straight-up remake of an older film.

I also thought this movie does a good job of introducing potentially convoluted plot points without feeling bogged down, especially the main gadget that allows the story to happen: the Fringe Theory Club Member Badge, which can create alternate realities that are only perceptible to people wearing it. The effects of this gadget could have easily been overly confusing, but the film manages to establish how it works quite effectively.

I suppose there are a few things I could quibble about: maybe it strains credibility that the villain’s second-in-command would think that someone named Diabolo was working with good intentions all along, and maybe the final battle against the villain’s minions gets a bit too slapsticky to take seriously. Otherwise though, I’d say this is pretty solidly one of my favorite non-remake movies to come out of the Doraemon anime reboot.

Not to mention, Shizuka gets to save everyone here, nice! It’s been a while since the last time. I’ve lamented this before, but it seems that many recent Doraemon movies (discounting remakes) don’t know what to do with her. The fact that older entries in the series have a better track record of portraying Shizuka is honestly kind of sad, so anytime in the new movies that she gets to do something important instead of standing in the background or playing the damsel in distress can only be taken as a good sign.

Shizuka-saves-the-day count (cumulative): 8

Star rating: ★★★☆☆

[aro-tarot]

Just finished vol. 2 of The Witcher s3, and ah, this season has been so good! 

And now I will proceed to probably ramble with spoilers:

First off, our bard is still shoveling things into his mouth.

I am so happy to see Milva! She’s my favorite book character, and I already love her here. She brought a laugh out of me, and of course, she’s a badass. Then Jaskier with the whole there’s this weird energy between you two. Then the song bit out of Geralt’s death. Oh, I am exciting for the hansa. Let’s gooo. lol.

How Radskier left off. Like, knew Radovid would become king, but ah, he was trying to leave! He wants to be with Jaskier and help him, and now he can’t! Ahhhh! Will need to go and read some fanfics. Maybe write one. I still have that one plot I was reworking for my first The Witcher fanfic that would work nicely.

And going off what Yennefer says, it looks like Geralt is still going to struggle with pain in his leg while fighting. I remember back in s1 seeing people hope that stayed in, and it looks like it.

Ciri’s dark arc is coming.

I was happy to see more of Radovid and Jaskier in e7 since when I watched e6 during the fan event, I was like, “Nice. Jaskier standing up for himself. He’s finally getting that self-worth.” Which I’ve reblogged posts and have talked about it a bit on here. With like s2 and like Jaskier in s3 and how people treat him and how he’s seeing himself. But then I was also like, “That was over quickly. I know that we needed to get to all the shit going down, but before the title card and that’s it?” And it turned out that was not it. Jaskier still isn’t just going to take him back. He’s hurt. There was a maybe because obvi Radovid needs to make it up to him and actually show that he’s not lying. And of course, now he’s trapped. He was going to give it all up. I’m really curious to see how that’s going to go down. And obvi Radovid is just going to be manipulated. He’s never been useful, and he finally found how he could and the person he could be with if the other forgave him, and that’s all been taken from him. Oh, I know while we all wait for the next season, the fanfics are going to be good.

Jaskier saying his family.

I’m still processing things. Obvi my brain is just like: Jaskier! Milva! Family! So good! This season was just so good!

And like, other random things in there. 

I have some other things I need to paint first, get some of that done, but after that, or at least getting a good chunk of that done or make it clear I have time to do more than I need to for that, I’m definitely doing some fanart lol

[laeveteinn]

Thanks for tagging me, @the-paper-monkey​!

I’m afraid I’ve lost track of who’s done this at this point, so if you want to play, consider yourself tagged!

Rules:

1. Post the top 5 works you’re most proud of that you released in 2022 (not necessarily your most popular),

2. your top 4 current WIPs that you’re excited to release in the new year,

3. your top 3 biggest improvements in your writing over the past year,

4. your top 2 resolutions (ways you wish to improve your writing/blog) for the new year,

5. and your number 1 favorite line you’ve written this year!

5 works

innocent (until proven guilty) | 142290+ words | WIP

When a mishap drops Albus Dumbledore back in the 1930s, he takes every available opportunity to meddle. He averts a World War and preemptively locks up one Dark-Lord-to-be. Furthermore, he adopts a young Tom Riddle in order to keep a closer eye on his development.

This will go swimmingly. After all, Albus Dumbledore is so very good with children.

Why I like it: the mix of moods and POVs. 

a learning experience | 9025 words | Complete

Voldemort spends ten years in customer service. In retrospect, this may explain certain things.

Why I like it: Hepzibah Smith and her red wine cakes.

the devil you know | 11273 words | Complete

Upon rising to power, Voldemort needs a way to dispose of Dumbledore without killing him personally. He decides to lock the old coot up in Nurmengard, to be efficiently murdered by his oldest enemy.

(Voldemort may be missing some relevant background, where Albus Dumbledore and Gellert Grindelwald are concerned.)

Why I like it: all those soft, grey areas where Grindeldore shines best.

blood quills and ladyfingers | 9447 words | Complete

"In Dolores Umbridge, Lord Voldemort has all the followers he requires."

Why I like it: commitment to the bit (both mine and Voldemort’s).

concordance | 23707+ words | WIP

Tom would do anything to not be sent back to the orphanage over the summer, even if it means taking up with an old man he hates.

(Or: Albus Dumbledore is made of contradictions.)

Why I like it: emotional chaos.

Honorary mention to the great work for the symbolism.

4 WIPS

To be taken with a grain of salt. I offer no guarantees that any of these will be finished in 2023 (or ever):

Diary Tom/Harry longfic (alternatively known as “the one where Tom suffers,” which is saying a lot given the rest of my writing)

Tom/The Gray Lady canon-divergent ghost romance

Draco/Tom time-travel adoption plot

Grindeldore adopting Harry

3 Improvements Expansions

“Improvements” doesn’t quite seem like the right word, but these are three stylistic tools I added to my arsenal over the past year or so:

More dual POV

More main characters who are difficult to like

More words + more detail for the same amount of plot

2 Resolutions

Stick the landing on the end of Innocent.

Write a big damn Tomarry fic.

1 Favorite Line

“Given all their history, he really should have seen the fist coming.” Though it might not look like much, it’s pretty punchy in context!

[maybeitsalivescribbles]

Hi ! This blog has one year. I don’t think this is gonna be very interesting for someone else, but I still wanted to make a recap post.

You’re more than 100, which is a number that lots of writing blogs can pull out in a month a lot more than zero, which is crazy.

The tragic backstory of this blog is that I’ve made it because I was incredibly burned out. Check the first post if you like. This was written by a guy who couldn’t take a deep breath without a long nap after. My first objective is not to ruin my health and take it as slow as possible, through gritted teeth.

I had a writer’s block, too. But if I am to believe the file where I put all my blog snippets...

Yeah. That took care of that. (For now, anyway.)

the typos the typos the typos so many typos aaaaaaaaaaah I’m so sorry - I really hope my English got better, but…

I love writing in English though. Perfectionists, try to write your story in your second language. Not only it’s cool – it’s the equivalent of saying “I’m not left-handed” in a duel – but you’re forced to go straight to the point. It helps !

It’s my playground. I don’t write to make good snippets, I try to make fun snippets. Viewing things that way helped a lot. If it doesn't have to be good, I’m free to experiment more.

Of all the things I’ve written here, ““Muahaha”, they said in a polite effort to keep the conversation alive” might be one of my favorite sentences. (From here)

Tags might be the greatest thing on this website. I cherish them. Obviously, I love reading yours, but I love writing mine too, giving you behind-the-scene comments and/or bullshit jokes. Sometimes it’s the first thing I write.

The first time I’ve ever tried to write second-person narration was on this blog. Apparently people don’t like it very much, but I think it’s pretty fun.

I am hilariously bad at guessing what you’ll like. I’m dead wrong almost every time.

Fun fact, These two dorks nearly never existed. I hated the first post featuring them, I thought it was awfully written and was ashamed of it. When I decided to finally post it, dozens of readers tugged my sleeve to say “we like this”. And I was baffled, but...sure. I kept on. I still don’t like this post, but I’m fond of the series now.

Chairs are the bane of my existence, so when I read lots and lots of snippets where people are forced to kneel because it’s submissive and stuff, my eyebrow lifts very high. Cue this snippet. Cue more than a hundred of readers tugging my sleeve to say “we like this”. S...sure ? Vampire Hero jumped into action.

Basically dear readers, though I’ve obviously done the work, without your support the reoccurring characters here would never have existed. Thank you.

Unfortunately it goes the other way, too. I’ve deleted a couple of things I was fond of but weren’t read (that’s one of the reasons why reblogging is important btw). I’m very fond of detectives and I wanted to write a series featuring a detective/thief, but since I’ve only had a bunch of notes for these snippets, I’ve set aside the project. Maybe one day ?

Tumblr is allergic to names, but most of the recurring characters actually have one.

My fantasy snippets are not read much, but they’re still fun to make. I’m not going to stop them. I’m grateful for the H/V community but it’s never gonna be 100% what I make.

Have I told you how much I love notes and tags and comments ? People who interacted in any way, people who liked dozens of snippets in one go, people who reblogged and even took the time and effort to write tags or a comment, people who left asks, you are noticed and appreciated.

Lurkers, I don’t begrudge you. I was one of you for years and years and years. I’d love to hear from you one day, but if not it’s okay. I know how hard and overwhelming it can be to reach out.

I know, I’m a hypocrite. I don’t reblog enough myself – or interact altogether. It’s not you, it’s the lack of spoons. Truth is, since I had this blog, I read much less because my energy is taken elsewhere. Either I write either I read, it’s hard to do both.

I don’t follow you because I fucking hate the dashboard. I avoid looking at it as much as I can. It’s an overwhelming sea of information with 90% irrelevant posts and 10% that disappear when you want to find them again and it gives me a headache every time. Sorry! Again, it's not you! I should change that, but it’s gonna take some time.

Readers, I can’t thank you enough. This silly blog helped me so much. It helped with my writing and creative process in general, it helped me go through some pretty bad days. It’s such a comfort to know that real actual people around the world are willingly reading the stuff I’ve made. It’s an incredible feeling and I’m still not over this.

The first six months were great. I loved it. These six months, less. This site seems to get progressively worse. Maybe I should find a second Internet place (all suggestions are welcome. I know nothing about this kind of stuff.)

I don’t intent to go, though. I want to try many, many things. I can't tell you more in case I have another block or something, but there are projects, so- stay tuned?

[junniieesbby]

good luck on housesitting! i don't see how hard that could be, are there any pets or plants to be taken care of? you don't have to answer if it seems invasive

is there anything in particular you would like to know about me? i'm not really sure what to write about myself without exposing too much. my favorite social media sites are here, discord, and tiktok, i try to stay away from other ones as much as i can. i have atleast 3 pcs of my txt bias. my apologies, i can't think of more things

i am doing splendid, just working on a few things. how are you?

-🦋

Hi butterflyyyyyy!!!

I’ve missed talking to you! Sorry for the super late reply been kind of busy with the house sitting!

No plants or pets but I’m also some what baby sitting ?? My uncle and aunt have twin daughters that just turned 18 and a 9 year old so I’m just here taking care of the house and watching their kids! Their kids wanted me to be the one to be around them because they are most comfortable with me and my sister is their age so she’s here as well! So I’m just here to make sure everyone behaves and keep things in order. Plus with the hurricane warnings they just need someone who’s been an adult for longer than like 4 months lol. It isn’t invasive at all I love sharing part of my life with you guys so I’m totally okay with that 🫶🏼 so far it has been super fun 🤩

Those are also my favorite social media apps hahah!

At least 3? So that means it could be more!

I do havé a question and you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to! But are you a reader or writer on here? Or both?

I am doing really good! I am almost done with hyukas bday fic i swear I was supposed to have it done such a long time ago but life got in the way. I am also working on a few Junnie fics for a bday events I am participating in!

It’s good to talk to you I hope you are still doing splendid🫶🏼

[butlersbabe]

austin butler x reader– cloud nine

an: hi! i’m so sorry i’ve been kinda flaky on writing. i hope this pleases you bc i just barely got it done before 4am. anyways, this contains smut so minors DNI!!

warnings: smut? use of marijuana. that’s abt it.

words: 2.9k

The sound of cars passing, trucks honking and people hollering all kinds of things filled your room. You left your window open, it made you feel more connected to the outside world. Tomorrow's your day off, so you were geared up to treat yourself to whatever you pleased for the next twenty-four hours. You didn't have much on your mind since you'd been using your tired brain all day at your job that was just a shy of a block away.

On your way home, you stopped at the local dispensary. The employee who usually helped you let you know your favorite strain was back in stock, Pineapple Express. So of course, he hooked you up with a good deal since you'd went a while without it. And you made your way home. So here you are. At home, on the bed, deciding when you should dig into your new possession.

Just when the world could get any darker due to your eyes closing, nodding off from absolute boredom and exhaustion, your phone buzzed. It was Austin. You smiled at the screen, you hate that he made you do that but you kind of loved it.

Austin and you met through a mutual friend about two months ago. She said that she’d heard he has dick that would “make you see stars” or something like that. You didn’t care about that just yet. You wanted to know him. And you were getting to. You weren't quite dating yet but he was yours, you were his. The two of you had only hung out a handful of times, one or twice at your apartment and once or twice at his. You guys haven't even kissed. That didn't mean he didn't make you nervous still. A guy as popular, well, famous, as Austin should be hanging out around you. He should be with some girl who did more than just go to work and pay taxes. The situation was odd. But you more than liked it.

"Hey :)"

He'd mentioned that he was going to text you after his interview or something like that. Austin never let his promises fall through. This was turning out to be something you figured you wouldn't regret. He was sweet, loyal, one of those "too good to be true" kind of things. As long as you did your part, this may be a good deal.

"Hi there!" You reply.

You two ask about each other's day, what you did, what you both ate. And soon enough, you were on the question you knew was coming along. He asked if he could come over? Of course you wanted him to, but your apartment wasn't clean at all, you weren't motivated to clean it but you knew it had to be done. "Of course!" You reply, sending it with hesitation. Quickly, you type up another message reading, "See you in about an hour?" You really hoped he'd agree because you definitely didn't have the apartment looking presentable.

"An hour. I'll be there."

It was settled, he'd be here in an hour.

You quickly hop up from you spot on your bed. And get up, speedily stripping away your waitress uniform leaving you in sweaty undergarments. Flinging those off your body, you take the fastest shower you've ever taken, shaving just in case anything happens. But why would it? The two of you haven't even kissed, my held hands but that was it. Hopping out and drying off, you threw on something comfortable and left your damp hair to do what it wanted while you cleaned.

Your room was the easiest, throw everything in the hamper, straighten up your vanity, close the closet door. Kitchen was already pretty clean, so was the bathroom. You fixed the living room up, you only had a couple things on the floor and some cups on the coffee table. You throw those in the sink and then you were done. It wasn't much. But it was cleanish and your job was done. You should set unrealistic standards for yourself, honestly.

Walking back into your room, you looked at your phone and notice only about 45 minutes have passed. That left you 15 minutes for absolutely nothing. You wandered back to the side of your bed closet to your window and sat next to your little black cup of weed. Popping it open, you let the aroma fill your nose. You sit it on your night stand and open the drawer and pull out a book of little, white rolling papers and pluck one from the stack. Sprinkling your weed into the paper, you check the time again. You have plenty of time to smoke before he got here. Finishing the joint, you take it outside the opened window, a lighter and ashtray already found a home there on your spacious window sill, leaving your phone inside.

Lighting the stick up, you cover the flame from any lingering breezes. Thank god the shop had this stuff, otherwise, you would probably be smoking some trash Reggie that you only bought because you didn't feel like spending a lot of coin on anything else. Once the soft orangey glow formed at the end of your joint, you tossed the lighter back into the tray.

You take a puff or two before giving yourself a breather. Your leg shakes with anticipation, you hoped Austin wouldn't have a problem with this. You'll eventually tell him at some point but you didn't really know how to ask him about it. It wasn't even a sensitive subject to you, you just couldn't imagine the immense embarrassment that would run through your body had he found out and was indefinitely against it.

You take another drag and let the smoke fall from your freshly chap-sticked lips. You could feel your body begin to numb and thoughts become a little fuzzy. You worries were being whisked away. This feeling was one you never wanted to get rid of.

"Y/N?"

Shit. Austin. She must've left the door unlocked or something. But he was here and she was smoking this strong substance.

You turn around the top half of your body around and sheepishly smile at him. "Hey, Aus." Aus? Really??

Austin was dressed in a black jacket and jeans with some expensive designer shoe on. He stepped closer and looked at you and studied what your were in the middle of.

"Whatcha doing?" His husky voice asks, as he makes his way outside with you, placing himself between your and the stairs to then next floor. "Ah," You couldn't lie now, you were caught green handed. "I'm just smoking. Helps we chill out and have a good time. Just makes me feel good." You answered honestly. Austin nods, and looks at the white roll in between your index finger and thumb.

"Could I have some?"

Your head snaps towards him in shock. You didn't think he smoked.

"You smoke?" You asked, puzzled in regards to what the blonde boy said.

"Well. I- I haven't-"

He stopped himself before he could fumble over anymore words and spoke his next words coyly.

"No, I don't usually. I haven't in a good while."

You were overly relieved to say the least. "Um, then, sure. Don't inhale too-" You speak while handing him the joint but don't get your last word out before he begins to suck on the stick. You let him continue until he lets off and starts to cough up a lung. You give a slight chuckle and pat his back to help loosen his chest up. "Damn, Austin." You shake your head and ask if he's okay and he responds by taking another hit but not as deep. He still struggles to inhale again but does it, surely.

"Here, give me that back." You say taking the joint away. "Open your mouth." You ordered, holding his jaw with your free hand. You take a long drag and then pucker your lips to blow the smoke into his mouth. "Now inhale." And he does so, no near as much coughing as he had done just minutes earlier. You let go of his face and take a hit for yourself. Then give the joint back to Austin. "Go easy on it." You tell him.

Soon enough you're both left with a stinger abc you toss that into the ashtray with the rest of your joint butts. You both step back into your room, lavender and weed now have become the codependent smells. The city become too loud for you so closing the window was a move you had to make before taking Austin to sit on the bed. You can tell he's feeling warm and fuzzy. "How you doing?"

He turns to you with a big grin and glossy, red eyes and sits for a slight second before laughing at the question which set you off as well. The cackles ring through the room and down the hall. You two were pretty high. You both look at each other after the giggle fit and decide it's time to go get a snack.

You got up and asked him, "Hey, you hungry?" And he shakes his head. You take off to the kitchen and grab a pack of pepperoni pizza bagel bites, your personal favorite post smoke sesh snacks. He followed you around the kitchenette like a lost puppy, his hand on your waist, your hand is his, or his head laying on your shoulder at almost all times. You didn't quite mind this though. It was kinda cute.

"Y/N." Austin whined to you during the only split second his wasn't skin-to-skin with you. You scoffed, sarcastically and went over to him, his lanky arms enveloping you.

As soon as they were done, you transferred them to a plate and took it to your bedroom for you two to chill out and eat. You both devour the snack food and place the plate to the side, freeing up room on the mattress.

"Austin." You giggle.

"Y/N." He chortles back.

"I'm so high." And it was like you said the funniest thing on earth. The bed shook just from you two howling in laughter at absolutely nothing. Austin then listened to you ramble about countless conspiracy theories and "what-if's." He was stunned by what you were saying and kept out of the talking.

"So if a robber didn't break in-"

"I'm telling you, it was the brother!"

The two of you sat on the ground, Austin playing with your fingers. He looks up to you, he surveys your face, and hums. “You’re so pretty.” And of course, you thank him. He begins to lean in and you quickly change the subject to another thing, something about the Mandela Effect.

An hour or so had passed and you both were still settled into your highs. On the bed, you now sat face to face, his arm across your waist, pulling your body into his. Only the light from the window and the bright moon filled your room. That was just enough to see his immaculate features. You studied him, his beautiful face and all. The blue eyes, the blond hair. Everything. He was so beautiful, and not just because your were still in the middle of a tingling high.

"I like you a lot." He says hushed.

You were a bit taken aback but you grinned. "I like you a lot too."

Pulling your body in more, as if it you two could get any closer, he moves his face towards yours. "Can I kiss you?" And you nod shyly. Your eyes close. Your lips finally touched. No fireworks or anything like that but instead a feeling of something indescribable. You take your free hand and caress his soft face. Austin moans through the kiss, his crotch searching for any friction.

You break away from the kiss and push him to laying on his back. Throwing a leg over his waist, you straddle his waist. Your lips attach to his neck, sucking a couple, well a few marks onto his tan skin. His large, veiny, hands grip your ass, moving your hips across his hardening dick in his pants. You grew wetter by the second, hearing him moan with sexual hunger. "Fuck, Y/N." He whimpers. He was shuddering under your touch, completely encapsulated by the feeling of your heat pressed against his. You pull at his shirt, letting him know you were ready to discard the garment, you doing the same to yourself, leaving you in your beautiful skin and that only.

"You're excited, aren't you, baby?" You ask, sitting up and rolling your hips against his. He makes a sound too sweet for this world and you stop, knowing what you wanted your next move to be. Slipping down to where you sat in between his legs. Your fingers undo his belt, the button on his jeans then the zipper. You tug down his jeans and boxers letting his cock fling out from his boxers and slap his quickly rising and lowering stomach. His tip was already shiny and slick with pre-cum. You smiled at the sight, pulling his jeans the rest of the way off of his legs. Seeing Austin like this made you want to melt. His hungry eyes were yearning for your touch.

You sat on your knees between his running your nails down his thighs. Slowly, you lower your face to the head of his penis, lick a wet stripe up the length of it and take it into your mouth. He lets out a throaty moan, head dropping onto the pillows beneath his head. You bob up and down, focusing on tip. He let out some of the most heavenly moans you’ve heard tangled up with profanities. You’re so enthralled by the way he sounded and looked. Your tongue swirls and his hips buck to hopefully feel more of the feeling he was receiving. You let go of his dick with a wet pop and take his length into your hand. Still moist with saliva, you start to jerk him off. You run your hand up and down the most sensitive part of his dick, keeping a steady pace, slow enough to drive a man crazy.

“Fuck, y/n.” He pants, sitting up to get a better look at what your were doing to him, his eyes still lazy and red. You made him go wild with the teasing. His legs shook, sensitive to the touch most likely due to the high he was having. Austin was getting more eager to fuck you with each passing stroke.

“Feel good, baby?” You taunt him.

He had had enough at this point. Pushing you back, you land with your head just barely missing the edge of the bed. He pulls your legs from under you and peels your sweats from your legs, taking your underwear with them. Austin positions his face between your legs and begins to suck on your thighs, leaving deep purple marks. One, then two, and a third on the other. You could feel his warm breath on your wet pussy. He was making you rethink teasing him.

“Austin-“ You choke out, gripping his blonde locks. “P-Please, fuck.”

He didn’t hesitate to put his tongue in between your folds. Only kitten licks were given to your fragile clit. Austin wanted to make you break. You feel two fingers play at your hole, soon after thrusting in and out as the licks got more intense. A groan from your chest was released, letting Austin know he was doing a good job. “Oh my fucking god.” You manage to breathe out. Austin begins lapping at your clit giving you the most euphoric feeling you’ve felt in a good while.

“Shit, Austin, I’m so fucking close-“ Your legs close on his head as you cum,

You give him a hazy look and he smiles, spreading your legs a bit further. He started to find his way between your legs, keeping eye contact the whole time he lines himself up with you. Pushing in, you gasp at his girth. You both moan in sync, the feeling of being one for the first time was a good one. Even better than you’d initially thought it’d be.

“Fuck, you’re so fucking tight, baby. I could fuck you all night.”

He spends no time waiting to start pumping in and out of your wetness. You wrap your arms around his back, legs propped up and splayed as far as they possibly could. The sound of both of your pleased senses and skin meeting skin continuously fills the room.

You feel his cock hitting your g-spot and you start to lose control of your body, nails scratching at his back. You felt the his breathing pick up signaling his climax coming soon. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum again, Austin.”

You gasp, clenching you walls around his dick. He keeps fucking into you, your g-spot repeatedly being hit. “Don’t cum yet, baby. Cum with me. I’m so fucking close.”

You felt as if you could let go at any moment, he strokes a few more times before his panting hitches, “Oh my god.” He slurs, you both let out moans to surely be heard by your neighbors. You cum and grasp his bicep, hoping something would keep you steady. He pulls out and cums onto your stomach. “Goddamn, y/n.”

You laid there, chest rising in short breaths. He reaches for a towel hanging out of your hamper and cleans you up, himself, then wipes himself off.

“You wanna go take a shower?” You ask. And he nods, taking your hand before the two of you run off to the bathroom.