#good thing too because there isn't much else for me to play this concert

[supercantaloupe]

only thing worsebetter than sightreading schubert 3 finale a tempo? sightreading the fucking trio when the conductor is deliberately rubato-ing the shit out of it

[dr-spectre]

Talking about Side Order and... Marina. (SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!)

You know, i really enjoyed Side Order, like it wasn't perfect or anything but i had such a blast with it and if they continue to expand on it we could have something REALLY amazing. My reaction to the GOD DAMN TUTORIAL BOSS GOT ME HYPERVENTILATING! IM NOT JOKING! IT WAS SO EXCITING AND SHOCKING!!! THE FINAL BOSS WAS INCREDIBLE TOO! I was singing along to Spectrum Obligato and WHEN THEY BROUGHT IN THE STUFF FROM THE LIVE CONCERT VERSION OF EBB AND FLOW MY JAW DROPPED!!!

However i gotta admit, the story could have been better, what was the deal with the Octoling engineers Marina was talking about? That goes completely nowhere and i thought it was gonna build to something with the repeat playthroughs of the final boss.

And of course, the biggest missed opportunity in my opinion, Marina Agitando.

Now look, i wanna say right off the bat, the design is excellent, it was so smart to bring back her Order outfit and make her into a giant abomination that moves in such a weird way that makes you feel uncomfortable. When i saw her for the very first time when you enter the room, i stood there for at least a solid minute in complete disbelief and shock seeing a giant Marina in some octopus tentacle heart thingy that beats and pumps with the music. The song that plays too "Unconscience" is such a BANGER and honestly it rivals Octo Callie's Bomb Rush Blush remix in my opinion.

The build up for this was pretty good too, seeing Marina say "help me" before she was knocked unconscious and then possessed by Overlorder BROKE ME! I was like "OH NO! ITS HAPPENING AGAIN! NOT MARINA!!" The build up to the 10th floor was so anxiety inducing because you know in the back of your mind that Marina is gonna fight you but you don't know what it's gonna look like, if you were there since Splatoon 2 and have watched Pearl and Marina since the beginning then this build up is even more anxiety inducing and its pretty damn good. And once you free Marina she feels so sorry about what happened and helps you out to put things right, heck she goes through a small character arc of embracing chaos.... but... i have to say...

It is unfortunately not executed that well or with any depth in my opinion because they repeated the whole thing of "oh no a character we know is evil because of (quote on quote) mind control!!!! oh noooo!!" Which is a tired trope in this series that needs to stop or else I'm gonna get REALLYYYYYY pissed off.

I've done enough ranting about Callie's villain arc and how that has been misinterpreted and stuff, but for Marina, i really wish they didn't do the whole "oh no a character is evil because of an evil character oh nooo!! we gotta save them!!" thing again and i wish Marina was more of a villain with a sad motivation for her actions. As much as its cute to see Pearl and Marina act all flirty with each other in Side Order, it kinda ruins the mysterious and dark tone of the story that was teased from the trailers and the tutorial in my opinion. Everything is also explained so quickly early on which really sucks. I really wish Marina was actually conscious throughout her time as Marina Agitando and most of it should have been her fault. She does blame herself for creating Overlorder but it's kinda brushed aside quickly and Marina ends up being totally fine and free of guilt. There isn't enough depth to it which is so lame and a missed opportunity.

Marina is flawed, she makes mistakes and acts emotional and angry sometimes. We have seen a side of Marina where she snaps at Pearl when she loses Splatfests and has shown signs that she still hasn't recovered from her time before she met Pearl.

She picked team Order because she was genuinely scared that her new life would fall apart and she doesn't wanna lose the people (especially Pearl) that she's met and grown to love. Marina is also heavily theorized to be on the autism spectrum and as someone who is autistic, i can see myself in Marina, they could have really explored Marina's psyche and mental health in Side Order but they just... didn't. Instead she's put to sleep and controlled by her ai child and all of the focus is put on stopping it like a traditional "oh no we gotta stop an evil ai!! oh noo!!" story... ugh... I mean Smollusk is cute i guess but there's not a ton to them and they come off as yet another "evil ai that wants order and control!! roarrr!!!"

From reading the most recent interview on Side Order and seeing the concept art, they said that they wanted to tell a story about Marina losing herself to a machine that she created. Could you imagine how tragic it would have been to learn more about Marina and how she's so wrapped up in anxiety that she decides to make this replica of Inkopolis Square and make the Memverse? Maybe at first she makes it to help Sanitized Octolings just like in the dlc, but then maybe due to overwork and burnout (which Pearl mentions in the tutorial by the way), her emotions and anxiety become so strong that she becomes consumed by it, this obsession of order and trying to achieve happiness takes over her and then she gets the idea to spread this order to the real world, where her friends can be "happy" and "safe." Maybe Overlorder is still there but they just whisper to Marina, manipulate and point her in the right direction to continue to her mission of order instead of just fucking knocking her out and using her as a meat puppet for 5 minutes.

Could you imagine how much better the build up would have been to not see Marina until you get to the 30th floor for the first time and you got to unlock her diary entries beforehand? Seeing her thought process and her slow descent into becoming an antagonist. I'm not sure how they would have changed the permanent upgrades but they could have thought of something man. I get that they wanted to subvert expectations but, i think they should have gone WAY further with Marina Agitando.

I was waiting for Pearl and Marina to have their "Tidal Rush" moment where it's this emotional battle between the two, could you imagine how DEVISTATING a remix of Ebb and Flow would have been if it had gotten that "Tidal Rush" type of remix? Pearl singing her parts in this chaotic and emotional way, on the brink of tears trying to get Marina back and calm her down, and Marina trying to fight back against her words, not wanting to believe her because she's so wrapped up trying to make them both happy in her way. She's so caught up in order that she has forgotten what Pearl wants, that Pearl wants to be with her and go against any obstacle that stands in their way together. God i would have cried seeing that I'm not gonna lie. Maybe once Marina starts to think rationally, she breaks free from the machine and then leaps into Pearl's arms, and then we have to go back up the 30 floors to fight Overlorder and we slowly see Marina learn to embrace chaos throughout the floors instead of it just being at the final boss.

I really do feel like Splatoon has this issue of trying to appeal way too hard to kids and being really scared to dive into the flaws of these characters. They are so avoidant of being more serious and they hide it away in optional collectables and obscure posts on social media that creates misinformation and stories that feel way too undeveloped. They just say "oh this character has been brainwashed!!" which is such a lazy and bullshit trope they slap on these characters to avoid getting into their flaws for some stupid reason. (Hell that word has lost all meaning to me now to be honest. Like no, Callie wasn't "brainwashed" per say, hypnosis is not brainwashing or mind control I've said that a trillion times in other blog posts but whatever. Agent 3 was knocked out and had no clue on what was happening. They weren't "brainwashed" they were used as a puppet from a fucking goopy telephone for five minutes while they were asleep. Maybe its poor translation i don't know.)

I know that Splatoon is made for all ages and primarily for children but, i find that to be a stupid excuse for bad storytelling, a good story with depth that's explored and set up properly can be applied to all kinds of age groups not just adults. And the adults that say that shit too, why do you think like that? Why do you wish to dismiss that sort of thing in media? So what if it's made for kids? Adults write these stories and plant themes and arcs into them. Why do you think people cried over the Rosalina storybook in Mario Galaxy and think its the best part of that game? You don't want that kind of stuff in games because "they are made for kids"? Why do you think there are so many adults in the Splatoon community hmm?

I am so worried for Deep Cut in the next game because i really don't want this to happen again, i want an actual proper villain arc for either Frye or Shiver. No hypnosis, no brainwashing, no mind control. Just a pure fucking villain arc caused by the flaws of the characters and without the involvement of a third party. Please, i wanna see growth in these characters that is explored way more clearly and better. Or maybe don't do a villain arc again and just have Deep Cut be fully happy with each other and develop their relationship more with lore and backstory. PLEASE!

Anyways ramble over, thank you for reading!

[floridagirlboy]

go check out @nevgovhater's marching band headcanons. done with that? ok. good. time for orchestra headcanons.

gov is the conductor. i need not say anything else.

1. ALABAMA — second violin. just strikes me as the type. he doesn't like to sit in the front or back, he prefers middle of the section.

2. ALASKA — double bass. specifically 2nd chair. he has the skill to be principal bassist but he has zero interest in being a section leader.

3. ARIZONA — cello. not sure why. i think they started out as a violinist, decided it wasn't for them, and then switched over to cello. they sit in the second row. 3rd or 4th chair.

4. ARKANSAS — first violin. in the back. got put into this class on accident and just hasn't switched out. used to be a second violin but switched sections later on. his old sectionmates haven't forgiven him.

5. CALIFORNIA — started out playing the viola. could not get along with them (they play around too much for his taste). accidentally broke his shoulder rest and that was the crucible for him switching to cello. he's a cellist.

6. COLORADO — viola, middle of the section. half-asleep at most rehearsals. people outside of the viola section forget he's there. always has an unreasonable amount of pencils on his person, all his section borrows them. only time he is not stoned is at a concert.

7. CONNECTICUT — concertmaster/principal first violinist/first chair. the kind of guy who slowly turns and stares at you after a song during rehearsal if you fucked up a chord really bad. will get onto his sectionmates for not bringing their stuff and say something like "next time i'm just not letting you borrow it" but he always does. he's a provider to his section. he cares about them a lot. same with the rest of the orchestra. just wants everyone to do their best. also he has tiny erasers on him to chuck at florida when he won't pay attention.

8. DELAWARE — second violinist, second chair. not sure why. just is.

9. FLORIDA — ...principal violist. he is the bane of gov's existence. main guy who drove california out of the viola section by being too silly but keeps begging him to come back. he has referred to this incident as the "viola section divorce", much to california's irritation, but he's started playing into the joke as well. he's a really good player but cannot focus to save his life. takes the most incomprehensible sheet music notes you've ever seen. you can't read half the notes on his sheet music because he wrote over them in the process of marking it. really good teacher to his section outside of the joking around way too much.

10. GEORGIA — second viola, has been florida's stand partner throughout all of orchestra. one of three people who can decipher florida's music (the other two being florida and louisiana; louisiana isn't even in their section, but florida taught him viola for funsies). dozes off immediately after rehearsal ends, but not during it.

11. HAWAI'I — first violin, second chair. chats with delaware sometimes since they sit next to each other. the only person she trusts to borrow her tuner, rosin, or cloth is alaska (and, lately, rhode island).

12. IDAHO — second violin.

13. ILLINOIS — first violin. i think he plays cello at home though.

14. INDIANA — cello.

15. IOWA — ..cello. maybe.

16. KANSAS — second violin or cello.

17. KENTUCKY — second violin or viola.

18. LOUISIANA — viola, second chair. florida's stand partner. he holds onto everything except the sheet music (which is surprisingly the only thing florida does not lose). actually joined orchestra because florida kept pestering him to. he got really good really quick because he has prior music experience.

19. MAINE — back of the bass section.

20. MARYLAND — clarinet

21. MASSACHUSETTS — first violin.

22. MICHIGAN — second violin.

23. MINNESOTA — first violin.

24. MISSISSIPPI — viola or second violin.

25. MISSOURI — viola.

26. MONTANA — second violin.

27. NEBRASKA — cello.

28. NEVADA — cello or first violin.

29. NEW HAMPSHIRE — cello.

30. NEW JERSEY — second violin.

31. NEW MEXICO — viola.

32. NEW YORK — cellist. wishes he was a violinist or violist sometimes but you'd have to waterboard that information out of him because he makes fun of the upper strings all the time.

33. NORTH CAROLINA — second violin. used to be a viola but switched over because his brother kept pissing him off.

34. NORTH DAKOTA — first violin. also switched sections to escape his sibling (former second violinist).

35. OHIO — viola.

36. OKLAHOMA — viola.

37. OREGON — first violin.

38. PENNSYLVANIA — first violin.

39. RHODE ISLAND — principal bassist. first chair because alaska doesn't wanna be there. he is so much fucking smaller than his bass that it's outright comedic. he sits on the stool to play and his feet don't even come close to the ground. perfectly capable of carrying his bass strength-wise but the size of it makes it a bitch, so alaska helps him. sometimes hawai'i if alaska is busy.

40. SOUTH CAROLINA — viola.

41. SOUTH DAKOTA — second violin.

42. TENNESSEE — first violin.

43. TEXAS — second violin. picked up the violin and he is not a fan but he's been with it so long he just doesn't know how to switch instruments. wishes he was a cellist. stares longingly at the cello section. he is allergic to shifting.

44. UTAH — first violin.

45. VERMONT — second violin.

46. VIRGINIA — first violin.

47. WASHINGTON — first violin.

48. WEST VIRGINIA — viola.

49. WISCONSIN — first violin.

50. WYOMING — bass.

[punisheddonjuan]

I did fuck all yesterday. It was after 12:30 before I woke up, then it took me until after 19:00 for me to be showered/changed/teeth brushed/properly fed because I was in too much pain and was too out of it. Then I did absolutely nothing except clean all the dishes, give the kitchen a wipe down, and then rearranged the pedals and rerouted all the cabling for my pedalboard, which took all of thirty minutes. Hardly a packed day.

The thing I still struggle with the most all these years of being sick is just not being able to do as much as I wanted, and having to scale back plans massively. Being hesitant to start a task that I really want to do, either because I need to do it or simply want to do it, is another constant stumbling block. I'm always worried that I might crash if I push it, or feel like I'm not up to it because I'm feeling cognitively sluggish or in pain. So many days are wasted simply laying in bed.

When my symptoms were milder than they are now I got so much done on a good day. I could clean my whole apartment in a few hours without breaks, sit down and play a game for an afternoon without distraction, read an entire book, go for a walk, practice my guitar for upwards of two hours at a time, write, draw, go on a day trip, go to a concert, and have a drink with friends without instantly crashing. I used to have plans to travel Europe, I had a big list of all the cities, archaeological sites and museums I wanted to visit, and I very much doubt that will ever happen now. I wanted a career, but there's not much chance at that either.

It sucks.

Anyway, underneath the cut is a before and after shot the pedalboard. I've also written a short review of each pedal I ordered as a part of building my pedalboard. There are a few guitar players among my followers, and they might be interested, because these Chinese pedal manufacturers punch way above their weight, and each of these sounds way better than its budget price would suggest.

There, that is just way more organized and neat; I mounted the two power supplies to the bottom of the board with double sided velcro tape (also, just want to say it, velcro is fuckin' magic). I wish I could do the same with the power bar and wall warts, but this board isn't tall enough. A board tall and large enough for me to do that costs around $170ish, and this one, although a few decades old, is otherwise perfectly fine, so I'll live with it. Oh I also fitted these little aluminum foot-switch caps onto all the pedals. It just makes them easier to use and it doesn't feel like stepping on a Lego if you're only wearing socks.

Pedal Reviews:

Joyo Buffer Tune: It's a tuner and a signal buffer in one pedal, there's not much else to say. It does what it says on the box. The addition of a DC out for daisy chaining to another pedal is a nice touch if you're running out of 9V outlets from your power supply. The signal buffer works as advertised and my tone is notably improved when it's engaged instead of the true bypass.

Caline CP-205 Power Supply: These are fantastic and they really are isolated. These two power supplies add absolutely no noise to my chain, and the amperage allocated to each output is very generous (7x 300mA, 1x 500mA). All of the outlets are 9V, but seeing as I don't own any 12V or 18V pedals and wasn't planning on buying one, I went with this model. Caline sells a different model, the CP-207, that comes equipped with 12V and 18V outlets for those who need them. One of the two supplies I bought did develop an issue out of the box with two of the outlet short-circuit lights not coming on despite being plugged in. Those two outlets are otherwise fine and still deliver the proper voltage at the correct amperage, making this essentially a cosmetic issue. It's a very minor flaw with what is an otherwise fantastic product. Highly recommended if you own more than a few pedals, and are looking for a better solution to power them than 9V batteries or daisy chaining.

MoskyAudio King Rat: This pedal fucking rules, it's a spot on clone of four distinct flavours of the ProCo Rat circuit (You Dirty Rat!, Fat Rat, Turbo Rat, and the classic Rat). It sounds fantastic and damn near identical to the real things. The opamp toggle between an LM308 and OP07DP is a neat gimmick in theory, but in practice it doesn't do much at all because switching from the former chip to the latter shouldn't really alter the sound, they have the exact same specs. At most you can hear a slight EQ tweak between the two that is best explained as variations in parts tolerances. That said, this is just an overall killer distortion pedal with a lot of flexibility and a ton of tonal options. You can get everything from a '60s garage rock tube amp distortion sound (Dirty Rat), to ripping US punk tones (Vintage Rat), a high gain thrash metal lead that sounds even better if you stack it with an overdrive (Turbo Rat), and a near fuzz tone (Fat Rat). There is so much value in this $45 CAD pedal it's honestly shocking, comparable boutique pedals are frequently sold for $250 to $350 CAD.

MoskyAudio Big Fuzz: An interesting pedal, not as versatile as the King Rat also from the "M" series, but it does the '70s Big Muff fuzz sound I wanted to achieve and a little more besides. The "π" setting is a dead on recreation of an Electro-Harmonix Big Muff π, and I have no notes, it's great, it's a Big Muff. It's unclear specifically what the "Tonebender" and "M" settings are emulating however. I've read a few opinions coming from people with more knowledge who are of the opinion that the "Tonebender" setting is emulating a common Big Muff modification of removing a transistor from the clipping circuit rather than recreating an actual Tonebender Fuzz, while the "M" setting is Mosky's own take on the Big Muff circuit. The fourth setting is a clean/treble boost and probably isn't something I'm going to use very often but it's cool that it's there. The "Voice" switch really does alter the sound, unlike the TM308/OP07DP switch on the King Rat. Or at least it does with the three fuzz settings, essentially doubling the amount of fuzz tones you can coax out of the thing. Again, just a killer value in a $45 CAD pedal.

Caline "The Noise" Noise Gate: It does what it says it does on the box, it's a noise gate. It will remove buzzing, feedback, and string noise if you turn it up, but you shouldn't turn it up all the way or you will lose playing dynamics and sustain. With this pedal the noise gating feels quite responsive and the option between a "hard" or "soft" gate is a nice touch. It's perfect for my needs and was a steal at $35 CAD.

Joyo Vintage Phase: A clone of the classic MXR Phase 90. It does what a Phase 90 does and sounds great doing it. Easy to use with just one knob. Unlike every other pedal reviewed here it also includes a battery door and can be powered by a 9V battery. If you want a phaser, this one is $44 CAD.

Caline "Wave Machine" Chorus: This is just a classic sounding analog chorus, I believe it's a clone of the Boss CE-3 Chorus, a favourite of everyone from Andy Summers to Kurt Cobain. You can be very subdued with this pedal and add just a touch of depth and sparkle to your sound, or you can make everything sound like it's beneath the waves. I love it. Again another steal at $50 CAD (compare to $200 CAD for a Boss CE-3)

Caline "So What" Flanger: From what I understand, this pedal is not quite a straight clone of the classic MXR Flanger (a pedal I've wanted for years because John McGeoch used one) instead it mostly replicates the MXR circuit but replaces the "Manual" knob (a frequency filter) with a "Delay" knob allowing you to control the delay time for the time shifted and phased signal. The sounds I've been able to get out of this pedal range from "razor knife made of ice" to "crashing jet fighter" which means it's exactly what I wanted. It sounds great, and another deal at $44 CAD (a new in box MXR Flanger is $250).

Now, sound wise? It's great, and credit should go to Keeley for that. I love the reverb effects I can get through this. The reverb has three settings: a shimmer reverb, a classic spring reverb, and a lightly modulated reverb. The delay side is just as versatile and sounds wonderful. I like my delay on the subtle side, but occasionally you want to go overboard and make some feedback, this does both. The option is also available for varying degrees of modulation on your delay sound. Also impressive is the inclusion of a trails/true bypass switch inside the pedal which allows you to choose between having the effect turn off immediately or for the reverb/delay to finish echoing out after the switch has been turned off. Neither side is as fully featured as many standalone delay or reverb pedals, and maybe at some point I'll substitute this pedal with a Joyo Aquarius Delay and Joyo Atmosphere Reverb. Even if I do that I'm still going to keep this one around because it is just so versatile and sounds absolutely fantastic.

DemonFX Ravine Reverb/Delay: A clone of the Keeley Caverns pedal, and a clome that is verging on "counterfeit ripoff". When I ordered this pedal I wasn't aware that there was a controversy surrounding DemonFX as a company. A lot of people think they're a little scummy for not just copying the circuits of currently produced boutique pedals, but also everything else down to the artwork, knob hardware and labels, and even DSP code/algorithms. All of the other Chinese pedal manufacturers put their own spin on classic/vintage circuits. Caline and Joyo are very well respected budget/midrange brands at this point, and when they do clone a circuit they at the very least design their own artwork for their pedals.

I am, admittedly, a little out of the loop and had never heard of the Keeley Caverns before I ordered this. I just wanted a little reverb and delay, I couldn't afford two separate pedals, and this was the most feature rich of the combined reverb/delay pedals I saw. Does knowing the controversy surrounding this company change my perception? Yeah, a bit. I do think it's a scummy tactic (at least pay for a different graphic design), it's ethically dubious, and it's kind of a great deal. I can't really afford to spend $300 CAD on a single pedal (the asking price for a new Keeley Caverns) and I got this on sale for $70 CAD.

Dolamo CP-1 Compressor: It's not a very exciting pedal, but it does what it's supposed to do, compress your signal. Dolamo is Caline's even more stripped back and "budget" lineup, and with just the two knobs there's not a whole lot of flexibility in sculpting your attack/sustain. I plan on replacing this with something else as soon as I can with one of Caline's compressors from their main lines, either the CP-52 Gale Force (MXR DynaComp clone), CP-47 Pressure Tank (Diamond Compressor clone), or G012 Python (Keeley C4 clone). Until then it's good enough, and was worth the $26 CAD.

Amuzik Harmonizer: Surprised by this one and how well it works. It's a very small package but has more features and flexibility than I would've thought. It's capable of producing those big fat down octave sounds like the one on Neil Young on "Hey Hey My My (Into the Black)" or those pinched up octave sounds that Hendrix used frequently, which is why I wanted it. I really like it, even if I haven't found much use for any of the non-octave harmony settings, a lot of those just sound really weird and unusable. Still it tracks really well, shockingly well for a cheapo OEM pedal sold under several different brand names. Down the line I could see myself replacing this with just a straight octave pedal, specifically an octave pedal able to produce two or more simultaneous octaves, like the MXR Poly Blue Octave (or a clone of said pedal). Until then, I'm really happy with this.

There's not a whole lot of room left on my board as it is, but eventually I want to pick up a few of those solder-less custom cable kits where you cut the cable to the required length and then screw on a ¼" tip (I think I'd need at least three). Doing that would save up a fair bit of space and make room for a few more pedals. I wouldn't mind eventually getting a tremolo, a vibrato, a ring modulator, a DigiTech Whammy, an MXR Poly Blue Octave...

[reg-arcturus-black]

Enough is Full of Romance

Part 2 - Drinks Over Coffee

Where 2 brilliant talented people fall in love and navigate a life filled with paprazzi, rumors and a private romance after being introduced by their common friend. They say wrong person, right timing is a real thing but Ben and Y/N know they have a deep connection and they will wait for however long it takes!

Warnings: None.

Angst-y, maybe? And fluff.

2.2 k words

Series Masterlist

gif not mine

Your sides hurt after laughing and gossipping too much. You couldn't remember the last time you were this happy and had laughed so much. Of course, a large part of it was Ben and you knew it. You had had a long day but you did not want the night to end.

"Wanna call it a night?" Andrew asked, stifling a yawn.

You glared daggers at him and patted him on the shoulder, a little too hard for his liking. For someone having played Spiderman, he was awful with his Spidey-senses.

"I mean... maybe after a few drinks?" He corrected, scared of your wrath.

"Maybe we should call it a night," Ben sighed. "I have an audition tomorrow."

You nodded, trying not to let your disappointment show. Maybe it was time to say good bye. You knew you were being dramatic but only because you knew you would never get to do something like this again. Hanging out with your favorite celebrity crush and best friend, talking and laughing till you cried into the late hours of the night.

You were heading towards the parking when you saw Ben taking another turn.

"I thought you and Ands came together?"

"We did but our hotels are in the opposite direction," he shrugged.

"Right! You had mentioned. Let me give you a lift, my hotel isn't far from yours." you offered with a kind smile. However, your heart was racing with the thoughts of being with Ben in a car. But you were elated with the idea of just spending more time with him.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, of course."

Hugging Andrew goodbye and ignoring his smirks, you got into your car followed by Ben.

"Did we make you wait too long, Carl?" You asked and the man in the driver seat laughed.

"No, ma'am. Went and got myself a little sushi after attending your concert. Traffic was terrible though."

You chortled. "Treat's on me next time."

He simply winked back in the rearview mirror.

What you didn't know was how taken aback Ben was when he realized that all your staff was invited to your show and you treated them just like friends. When he realized that he called you ma'am sarcastically. While this was not uncommon, this had genuinely touched his heart.

What moved him even more was that after spending hours with you, he could not see a difference in the personality you had on stage during shows and interviews and behind the stage where you just hung out with your friends. You were the same person and not just another celebrity putting on a facade.

"Hey, Y/N?" He asked, making you look at him.

"I am really glad that I got to see you perform today and spend time with you."

"Me, too."

It was a shame that the darkness in the car hid the shades of red that both of your cheeks were turning into or else you would have realized how mutual the blood rush was.

"Hey, Ben?" You asked in a low whisper.

"Hmm?"

You toyed with the hem of your dress, twisting and turning it between your fingers. You had wanted to ask him this since the beginning, you just didn't know how. You were nervous and he could clearly see it.

"I won't eat you up, Y/N," he laughed.

But you were still hesitating.

"I promise I am not a cannibal."

"You won't get offended?"

"I won't, I promise."

But he was now looking at you seriously, worry clouding a small part of his mind. "What is it, Y/N? Is everything okay? You can tell me."

You seem perplexed and he could not see you that way. Mustering whatever courage he had in him, he gently took your hand in his and looked into your eyes.

"What is going on, Y/N?"

"canihaveapicture" you mumbled to yourself, turning away from him.

"I am sorry, what's that?" He shifted closer to you, making you heart speed up even more.

"Can - can we click a picture?"

Ben broke into a big laugh, one that made you all tingly on the inside.

"It's - it's just that I am a fan...." you explained.

"It would be my honor, Y/N, to have a picture with you."

You relaxed after hearing his reply and settled back into your seat with a smile. It was then your gaze finally fell on your still intertwined hands, which reminded him, too, and he instantly pulled his hand back.

His hand longed for the warmth in the chilled air of the car but he had to restrain himself from touching you without any reason.

"Was it weird working with stuffed animals and talking to them, hoping they would talk back?" You asked suddenly.

"What?" He laughed.

"Yeah, for Narnia. How'd that feel?"

"Oh, you have no idea. We would have to take breaks between scenes because we would be laughing so hard."

You thought back to all the times you had heard him laugh and before you could think, you had blurted out words you never thought you would say out loud.

"You have a beautiful laugh."

"Oh... um, thank you," he blushed as you mentally cursed yourself for not thinking before you spoke.

You soon settled into a comfortable silence, though your heart skipped a beat every time you thought about how you were in the same car as Ben Barnes.

You were staring out the window when you felt him looking at you.

You turned around and saw him facing you with a questioning look on his face.

"Go ahead, Ben... I don't bite either."

"Does it help?"

You turned towards him, supporting the side of your head on the headrest of the seat, just like he had. "Does what help?"

"Songwriting..."

A small smile played on your lips. "It helps but it's not always easy to write songs because the emotions attached with those words are too difficult to process."

"You inspire a lot of people, you know?"

"As do you, Ben, and I am one of those people."

"I am glad to hear you say that."

Once you looked at him, you could not look away. It was as if he had unknowingly captured you. Your gaze slipped down to his lips for just a second and came back to his dark brown eyes. His beautiful eyes which had captured the whole world inside them.

He was unable to look away as well. His gaze was settled on the way your hair fell to your face. His lips curved into a smile as he shifted closer to you, afraid to do anything else. He could feel his heart thumping against his ribs as he slowly brought up his hand to your face and tucked the loose strand of hair behind your ear.

"You're even more beautiful up close, you know that?" He breathed.

Before you could reply, the car came to a halt at your hotel.

"We're here, Y/N," Carl said.

Sighing heavily, you grabbed your phone, taking as much time as possible before leaving the car.

"Carl will drop you till your hotel."

You were trying not to let your disappointment show. You had one of the greatest nights ever with him but it was coming to an end. What had started out a fan-crush had turned into something more.

"This is it then, I guess... Thank you for coming to the tour..."

"Actually, I was thinking coffee...." Ben said sheepishly, looking at you.

"Sorry?"

"Would - would you like to have coffee with me sometime? Whenever you are free? I would love to talk more over coffee."

The seconds in between his question and your answer felt like eternity to him. He knew this would happen the moment he had stepped into your green room. He knew that the way you blushed when he looked at you would have him falling for you in no time. His breathing would quicken when you came near him, his mind would stop forming coherent thoughts when you laughed, his voice would get stuck in his throat whenever you smiled. So when he asked you out, his heart was beating more rapidly than it ever had.

You took a second to take in the question. You wondered for a moment if he had truly asked you out for coffee or was it your mind just playing tricks on you.

"I - um, are you sure?"

He nodded.

"I would love to have coffee with you, Ben." You grinned, butterflies in your stomach at the prospect of going on a date with him. But that grin soon turned into a frown.

"What's wrong?" He asked worriedly, afraid that you would change you mind.

"I have rehearsals tomorrow and I don't know when I will be in LA..."

"Oh. I - I guess maybe not then." He sighed, his heart sinking completely.

"However..." you said, a mischievous glint on your face. "My hotel does have a cafe and right now is the only time I am free, so..."

"Wait, really?" He beamed.

You nodded excitedly, happy that you would get to spend more time with him. And not just spend time, but actually be on a date with him.

"Let's do it then!"

Carl pulled into the deserted drive way as you two made your way into the hotel.

"Hello, could you point us to the cafe, please," you said at the reception. "Room D708."

"I am sorry, ma'am, but the cafe is closed." The man in the suit replied.

"Oh."

"But the bar is still open if you would like to go for drinks," he said with a small smile.

You nodded and walked to Ben who was waiting a little distance away.

"The cafe is closed but the bar is open."

"I don't mind," he smiled. "Would you like to have a Drink with me? Over coffee?"

He held out his hand and you took it, walking in the direction of the arrow pointing towards the bar.

It was not a huge bar but it was empty, just what you two needed to talk properly. You ordered your drinks and settled down on the long stools, still holding hands. His thumb tracing patterns on the back of your hand in the darkness.

He asked you about life on tour and you asked him about his life playing roles he was so different from. You two had seemed to form an instant connection. With the slow music playing on the speakers, the night felt perfect. He wished that time could stop in this moment forever and you could talk for as long as you wanted.

You unlocked your phone and opening the camera, handed it to him.

"I did agree," he said, rolling his eyes out of feigned reluctance but pulled you closer the next second. He put an arm around your shoulders and clicked a picture. Then he clicked one more. Then some more where both of you were making silly faces and laughing and not once did he let go of you.

You stared at the photo where you were grinning from ear to ear, wrapped in his arms.

"And, um, how would I send these pictures to you?"

"Bluetooth?" He winked.

"Oh, alright. Sure." You said dejectedly.

"I am joking, Y/N". He chuckled and entered his number into your phone.

You sent him the pictures right away and he made sure to save your number in his phone as well.

"How is LA treating you?" You asked, resting you chin in your hand.

"It does get a little lonely sometimes," he admitted, taking a sip from his whiskey.

"Are you lonely right now?"

Something about the pain in his voice hurt you. Even the thought of him being in any kind of distress made you upset. All you wanted for this man in front of you to be the happiest in the world. And you knew that you would sacrifice everything in the world if that is what it took to make him feel that way.

"Not right now," he whispered, looking into your eyes.

"I am glad to know that."

"I am glad to be with you, Y/N."

His gaze fell on your lips and he leaned towards you. You met him halfway, running your thumb over his cheek.

He touched your forehead with his, breathing in your scent. But when he looked up at you, he could see your eyes glistening with tears.

You knew that you were going to kiss, just like your ex and you had. You remembered how he had kissed you, promised you the world and then left your heart in shambles.

"It's too soon, isn't it?" He asked, recalling everything the tabloids had printed, recalling the painful lyrics you had sung just that night and recalling how you were unable to control your tears from flowing while singing those songs. He placed a hand on top of yours which was touching his face.

You closed your eyes and nodded against him, letting a tear roll down your cheek. Your heart broke knowing that you were not ready for the most amazing man in the world. And so did his for he would suffer from a heart break that wasn't his and for one that he did not cause.

He took a deep breath and kissed your forehead.

"Take care, Y/N."

When you opened your eyes, he was gone.

[radiant-reid]

Hi cate it’s one in the morning and I can’t get this off my mind Garcia taking Reid to a concert he was hesitant to go to at first because he usually doesn’t enjoy places like those but then when he hears readers start just like BELTING with amazing vocals and I mean like vocal’s he low key catches a quick interest in her…maybe could this be a one shot/blurb?? 🤍

yes !! i am so into Noah Kahan at the moment that it had to be him

"Come on, you've got to come with me." Penelope groans, standing in front of Spencer's desk.

"I've been to, like, five concerts in my life." He protests, trying to find any way to stay home. "And I don't know the songs. There's got to be someone else you can take."

She shakes her head. "Nope, everyone has plans. Come on, we go to conventions together. This isn't much different."

He scoffs. "The germs in a situation like a pit are astounding." He reminds her. "Not to mention what listening to loud music does to the ear."

"You're coming." She says decisively. "And you're going to love it/ We can even get matching merch."

Spencer knows there's no point in arguing with her. He couldn't win, and he wouldn't want to disappoint her. Plus, what's really the worst that can happen? He'll be there for a few hours, makes sure Penelope gets home safe, and be in bed with a book by 11.

"Okay, fine, let's go." He agrees, getting up and grabbing his bag.

He underestimated how long it would take for her to get ready, and how many people would be there, and honestly, he's feeling slightly nervous about being there.

"You're going to love it," Penelope assures him, squeezing his hands reassuringly before going back to talking about her favorite songs.

Spencer can appreciate the harmonies of the singer and how the chords are structured. It's not as bad as he thought. Halloween hits home, and he thinks about calling Ethan.

Penelope nudges his arm at some point, nodding to the girl standing next to them, you. Spencer's already noticed. He's got a sixth sense for people watching him, born out of his years of FBI training.

"She's cute," Penelope tells him.

He smiles slightly just watching you dance so carefreely. "I know."

"Well, talk to her." She urges. "She probably thinks we're together." He understands how you, or anyone, would come to that assumption.

He's about to before the Stick Season gets to its first chorus and you're belting out the lyrics by heart. "And I love Vermont, but it's the season of the sticks and I Saw your mom she forgot that I existed and It's half my fault, but I just like to play the victim I'll drink alcohol 'til my friends come home for Christmas"

He leans down to talk to you in for his knight in shining armor moment when you almost drop your phone, too focused on singing and screaming. "Would you like me to hold it? I can film much steadier."

"Please." You say, eagerly handing your phone over. He's tall, too, incredibly helpful in getting good footage.

He spends most of the time looking at you, and he finds even more courage to talk to you when there's an interlude between songs. "I'm Spencer." He introduces himself.

"Y/n." You do the same thing. "And thank you. Your height is a great advantage." He chuckles at that. "Are you a fan, too? Just the silent type?"

He shakes his head. "Maybe after tonight. I really just came here for my friend." He emphasizes the last word, making sure you understand the relationship.

You wave at Penelope, who's grinning proudly at Spencer's bravery. "Cool. Is there any way I can bribe you to film the rest of this for me?" You ask slyly.

"I'll do it regardless." He tells you nobly, not wanting you to feel pressured into anything.

"You can have my number anyway." You offer, reaching out to hold his arm, the pen that was in your bag hovering over it. "If you want."

"Please." He nods, letting you write it on your skin without reservation.

When you pull away, it hits him that it's your number, not 822-993-167, and he can use it to call you with it.

[voltives]

top five bebe/donna performances (single list, separate lists, entire shows, one-night appearances; go wild)

sure. hell, i'll even include video evidence for free.

top five donna murphy performances by tumblr user voltives

5. "hit me with a hot note," from a benefit concert for fran liebergall.

self explanatory. watch it and you will know exactly what i mean. (and hey, droughtofapathy even wrote a fic inspired by it.)

4. "a hundred easy ways to lose a man," from wonderful town.

ruth sherwood is a lesbian, change my mind. but seriously, this number showcases so much of donna's physical comedy, and it's a hoot from start to finish.

3. "kiss of the spider woman" from the kennedy centre honors for chita rivera.

i know this is an abridged version, but donna sang this while sick, and if that isn't impressive then i don't know what is. i'm obsessed with her voice.

2. "i read" from passion.

look, we all know i am the number one passion (1994) enjoyer on this website, but c'mon. it's a classic and fosca my beloved, you deserve better.

"the story of lucy and jessie" from the 2007 encores production of follies.

i don't know anyone else who has oozed so much sex appeal in my life. red is just her colour.

honourable mentions:

send in the clowns from sondheim's 90th birthday concert.

one thing i will say is that i love her necklace.

and as for bebe ... bear with me, because this will also be long.

top five bebe neuwirth performances (once again by tumblr user voltives)

5. "when velma takes the stand" from chicago.

velma is so goofy, i love her. and this number also showcases her legs, so write that down.

4. "if my friends could see me now" from sweet charity.

i used to play this song religiously during high school. it would be the one song i would listen to to start my day. bebe is so cheery and so happy during this song. i love her.

3. "all i care about is love" from chicago for broadway backwards.

oh, to be a showgirl dancing sensually around bebe neuwirth. this performance just scratches my brain in all the right places.

2. "what would you do" from cabaret (2024)

i don't have video evidence of this, but god. her rendition of this song is so heart wrenching and haunting and i just... i don't even have words. she's just too good.

"i still get jealous" from high button shoes for broadway backwards (2019)

i have a clip of this on my hard drive, but i just can't post it publicly. as it's from broadway backwards, it is intensely sapphic and homoerotic (as it should be), and bebe is wearing a white button down tucked into these trousers and ugh, the dyke energy. it is so, so powerful.

thank you for asking! i really enjoyed answering this <3

[wyattjohnston]

gonna break my heart (this city) - tyson jost

series: this is getting good now

note: this is for my 💚 anon, @farbutnevergone and @matthewtkachuk. this idea has been floating around since... May which actually isn't that long when it comes to me lol

warnings: anxiety, depression and associated therapy

word count: 3,808

Even as the buzzer sounded and the Enterprise Center erupted, even as the team shook hands with their heads hanging low, Flick knew that a first-round exit was much easier to handle than a third-round exit. Tyson wouldn’t agree, hadn’t when Flick posed the question the previous season after only a second-round exit, because there wasn’t anything good about exiting the Playoffs at any stage unless you had the Stanley Cup lifted over your head.

She gripped her visitors pass tightly in her hand, shoved deep into the pocket of her coat, and followed the reporters she’d befriended as they made their way into the depths of the arena. It was the third time she’d made the trek in the one week and it never got any less intimidating—it was one thing to be on your home turf with families also walking down and another entirely to be the only person who hadn’t flown in on the team plane.

There were no doubts in her mind that flying to watch the first-round games was a good idea, aside from maybe seeing how much fun Brady Tkachuk had had in the crowds and thinking that might have been better than sitting in the press box. If anyone else found it weird, nobody said anything, so Flick was holding onto that.

She, for lack of anything else to do, took a seat in the media room and watched the interviews and focused on her breathing so that she wouldn’t cry at how upset the guys were about their elimination. It was impossible not to feel everything they were exuding; it felt like she was intruding by being there.

Tyson was never the last one out of the locker room—the guys in Minnesota took longer than the guys in Colorado—so she didn’t have to wait too long for him to appear, with dripping hair and a drooping face and he wrapped his arms around her. The sheer number of fines he’d racked up since arriving was impressive and they were all to do with Flick.

“It’s not fair if you come back to the hotel with me,” Tyson whispered into the top of her hair. “Smuggling you in probably isn’t a great move for my reputation.”

Flick agreed, even if she knew that there would be no shortage of players who found a way to get a woman into their hotel rooms. They would see each other the next morning, regardless, and Flick was all for not becoming the least favourite WAG by virtue of getting special treatment just because she’d developed separation anxiety on top of her regular anxiety.

“Did you miss the NHLPA memo that everyone was supposed to go to Italy?” Flick asked as she stumbled across another player’s story—although she couldn’t tell you the path she took to get to Adam Lowry’s story, nor could she have named him as a hockey player before she found his page.

“Must’ve gone to my junk mail,” Tyson said, leaning over Flick’s shoulder to watch her tap through another story. “Are you telling me you’d rather be in Italy than watching some old folks play some concerts?”

Flick hummed, only because she wasn’t even sure of the answer herself. When they’d discussed their off-season plans, it had been easy to just have them be like they had been the few years before. A trip to Edmonton, then Kelowna, time in Vancouver to see Flick’s parents which was perfectly coordinated with Mat’s time in Vancouver and then back to Minnesota where Tyson had agreed to participate in Da Beauty League.

Flick was happy to do that, but the FOMO was settling in.

“Babe?” Tyson asked. He walked around the couch to kneel in front of her. “Are you mad we’re not in Italy?”

She tried not to sound exasperated as she let her phone fall to the couch beside her and sighed, “There doesn’t feel like there’s ever enough time to see both our families and your summer hockey stuff and go on a vacation. I promise I’m not mad, I’m just a little jealous that everybody else seems to make it work.”

“We’ve got so much time to do everything, Flick,” Tyson said quietly. Flick knew him well enough to know the signs of guilt on his face. “Name a place and we’ll go there.”

“It’s too short notice. We’ve got a big one planned for next year.”

“That’s our honeymoon,” Tyson said as he pushed off his knees and moved to the couch beside Flick. He made sure he was turned towards her and held her hands. “We shouldn’t just be going on a European vacation for big things like that. Do you want to go to Italy?”

“I want to go to Vancouver and then try and find a home in Minnesota. This sounds gross and cheesy, but I want to go wherever you go.”

“That does sound gross and cheesy, good thing I feel the same I guess.” He kissed her forehead sweetly. “I do want you to tell me when you’re mad or jealous, Flick.”

“I do tell you; I didn’t know I was jealous about that until right now.”

Flick could tell that Tyson wasn’t convinced, the hum he produced purely to let her know he’d heard her.

Watching the Avs win the Cup was amongst the worst things Flick had ever experienced.

It had been demonstrably worse for Tyson.

Flick hadn’t meant to let it all spiral, really. She never did and yet it continued to happen.

She celebrated her 25th birthday five days early at a nice restaurant in Vancouver, with Tyson, her parents, Mat and Cheyenne. It was great, mostly, and she largely enjoyed herself and the time she was able to spend with the people closest to her.

As happy as she was to see Mat and Cheyenne, it was hard to sit back and listen to them repeat every second of their Italian holiday. But, her parents hadn’t heard them yet and they were always interested in Mat’s stories—especially when they involved him and hired Vespas. The first time she heard them, the stories were hilarious and Flick had laughed along as they were told but hearing them be repeated just had her staring blankly at the wall beside Mat’s head and forcing a smile every so often to pretend she was paying attention.

Tyson kept his hand on her thigh, squeezing every so often almost as if he was trying to make sure that she was still in fact sitting beside him.

When her parents left after dinner, the four wandered through the streets of Vancouver to find a bar for some extra celebratory drinks and Flick got suitably drunk despite the flight they had to get on the next day to St Paul. There were no more stories about Italy but there was lots of dancing and lots of hugging and all in all she deemed it a good night.

On the 14th of July—her actual birthday—Tyson took her to see the gardens at Como Park Zoo & Conservatory.

“I didn’t know this was even here,” Flick said as they walked through the Enchanted Garden and were faced with the beautiful flowers and equally as beautiful butterflies.

“We didn’t really have much time to get out and explore,” Tyson offered as an excuse but Flick shrugged it off.

She said, trying to keep her voice steady, “I had nothing but time.”

It was a good day and offered enough of a distraction from her thoughts that she almost forgot that she was even sad about being back in Minnesota.

Flick wished she’d stayed in Vancouver longer. Minnesota wasn’t her home.

They moved back into a hotel when they returned so that they could view potential houses before making a decision—to rent. It was the decision they came to when it was clear that Flick wasn’t set on St Paul, or Minneapolis or anywhere in between, and if there was any chance he’d be somewhere else by October 2023 then neither of them could justify putting in the effort of buying.

It didn’t take long to find something suitable and move in the things that Laura had driven up from Colorado out of storage, or the things they’d brought back from Canada.

Flick wished she’d stayed in Vancouver longer but she also wished she’d gotten to go to Italy because sitting in an old rental in St Paul, alone, while Tyson started kicking up his training was tearing apart any progress made on her anxiety. There was only so much talking she could do to her plants.

The days she went to watch Tyson practice or play Da Beauty League games were better than the days she didn’t; getting out of the house and speaking to people was definitely the reason for that. Only, there were very few people Flick spoke to when she did go. One of them being Annie—who was being very accommodating even though they’d only met once years prior—who didn’t always make an appearance if there wasn’t a game on.

“You can… If you want to go spend more time with your parents, we can make that happen,” Tyson said one day when he got home and found her in the exact same position she was in when he’d left, staring blankly at the television.

At first, she didn’t hear the statement clearly, the words didn’t make sense in her head until she sorted them out one by one and put the sentence back together.

She didn’t even take her attention off the television when she asked him, her voice hoarse, “You want me to go?”

Flick could hear Tyson breathing in and out, so evenly that he was obviously counting as he did so. It felt like an age that he did it for and she gripped the couch cushions tightly, expecting him to actually tell her to pack up her belongings and get out.

“I want you to be happy.”

“I want to be happy, too.”

A painful silence consumed the room, and Flick tried to time her breathing with Tyson’s so that she remembered to breathe at all.

A flight was booked from St Paul to Vancouver for that weekend.

Flick was over the crying she’d been doing, almost as much as she was over how hard Tyson was trying not to cry.

The two days since booking the flight and getting Flick to the airport had been tense and uncomfortable and neither of them knew how to fix it. It didn’t help that Flick was packing the suitcase she’d only just gotten around to properly emptying almost wordlessly.

She wheeled her suitcase out of the bedroom, knowing that it was nearly time to leave. Tyson was standing behind the couch, paying attention to nothing in particular.

Flick stood at the opposite end of the couch and whispered to the ground, “Do you still want to get married?”

Tyson sprung into action immediately, and just as soon as he was in front of her, his arms were around her. She sagged into him, the realisation hitting her that she’d been avoiding touching him since they discussed her going back to Vancouver.

She tried to hold onto him as he pulled back, but he fought it so that he could tell her, “Flick, I’m going to make this very clear: we are not breaking up. We are not on any sort of break.”

“That’s good,” she said weakly, a fresh set of tears rolling down her cheeks as she buried her face back into his shirt. She didn’t want to think about why she struggled to add, “I love you and I want to get married.”

“I am in love with you,” he said with a painful sincerity, “And next July I am going to marry you.”

Tyson drove her to the airport where they both cried at security because it definitely felt more like a breakup than it was supposed to.

It was so much of a sight that a woman, maybe slightly older than them, walked up to Flick and offered her hand, saying, “You look like you could use a hand to hold.”

Flick looked between the woman and Tyson, only moving when Tyson kissed her one last time and gently pushed her in the woman’s direction.

The woman—who introduced herself as Josie—held Flick’s hand as much as she could as they walked through security, offering up small talk as a distraction. She wasn’t going to Vancouver, but she did wait with Flick at the gate and made her promise to text when she landed.

“Why are you letting me cry all over you?” Flick asked.

“Because it's better to cry all over someone than to do it by yourself.”

Being back in Vancouver was eye opening, to say the least. It became clear almost immediately that Flick had become more than co-dependent with Tyson—or, she’d become dependent on him and there wasn’t much co about it.

She woke up every morning in her room at her parents’ and immediately reached for Tyson. She walked into the kitchen and immediately looked for Tyson. She heard the door open and immediately looked up, expecting to see Tyson and his goofy grin staring back at her.

Still, it was nice to be able to spend time with her parents. Spending time with Mat was great, too. It had been a while since she had done either without Tyson being around.

It was reminiscent of how they spent many summers as teenagers, sitting outside on the pool deck complaining about it being slightly too cold to actually get in the water and then complaining even further when they actually did dive in and realise it was also too cold in the water.

Mat’s hesitation to ask Flick any direct questions about why she was back in Vancouver hadn’t escaped her. He’d tried a few times to weasel in a question but if he wasn’t asking directly Flick was just telling him that she was taking more time to spend with her parents.

“We spent a lot of time in Alberta, you know?”

They were dried and inside his summer rental when he finally asked, “Is it Minnesota?” before adding cautiously, “Is it Tyson?”

Flick tilted her head to the side, thinking about it as if she hadn’t been thinking about it since before she got on the plane. With a deep sigh, she said, “I think it’s me.”

“Do you actually think that or does the anxiety think that?”

Flick tapped her fingers against her thigh for a few seconds, thinking. She said, “I see the psychiatrist next week, so let me get back to you.”

Mat nodded; his mouth pulled together tightly. The abruptness of his steps towards her and his arms around her didn’t shock her so much—she found that people often felt the need to hug her when she was upset. The touch was comforting, nonetheless.

Cheyenne hugged her, too, when she arrived home for dinner.

Sitting in a psychiatrist’s office provided Flick with an odd and awkward comfort. There was nothing she hadn’t shared with a therapist over the years—from the horrific public speaking experiences in school to the fear of making the life changing decision to move to Denver.

The realisation hit her like a tonne of bricks that she’d spoken to someone for the move to Denver but rushed headfirst into the decision to move to Minnesota; that no thought had gone into her decision beyond not wanting Tyson to leave.

“When you talk to Dr Wilson in Minnesota, I’m sure she’ll have some tools to help you become more independent. It’s a new city for you and Tyson, yes, and I think that it would be beneficial for you to find some friends outside of the world of hockey.”

“I’ve been talking to the girl who helped me at the airport,” Flick said, her feet tapping up and down as they always did while she was in therapy. “I think she might want to be my friend.”

“If she’s still talking to you, I think you might be right,” Dr Patrick said, not unkindly, but definitely in a manner that made Flick know for certain that she was overthinking that new friendship, too.

Mat went back to Long Island and Flick spent more time with her high school friends as a result. They weren’t how she remembered, which she wasn’t all too shocked by given they really only spoke to each other on birthdays. Flick had come to terms with it not long after leaving Vancouver, though it wasn’t without tears and frustration, that the friends she grew up with weren’t going to be the friends she grew old with.

Regardless, it was nice to see them even if it felt like she was meeting them for the very first time.

It did make her miss Denver even more than she already did and she made a mental note to mention the newfound fear that her Denver friends would become like her Vancouver friends.

All in all, it made her miss Tyson and the steadiness he brought with him.

She spoke to Tyson every night on the phone—sometimes FaceTime and sometimes not—which helped solidify the fact that they weren’t broken up. There wasn’t always much to say with Tyson’s days filled mostly with hockey except for when he was out on the boat with Matt Boldy and the Minnesota broadcast crew and Flick only having so much to say about completing puzzles with her father.

“I’ll be back before the season starts,” she said confidently as August ticked along into September, more than a month apart. Neither of them had really broached the topic of when she would head back to St Paul.

“Yeah?” he asked and Flick could see his face light up through FaceTime.

“Yeah. I feel really good.”

Flick hadn’t realised that Tyson had been so tense every time they spoke—though, she’d been similarly tense so it shouldn’t have surprised her as much as it did—until he was smiling at the idea of her coming home.

“That’s the best news I’ve heard in a long time.”

“I’ve been speaking to a salon about getting a chair and my psych and I found a new psych in St Paul who I’ve spoken to on the phone and she’s really nice. We can go together, if you want. Or there are other doctors she works with who specialise in couples therapy—which we don’t need to do because we’re having troubles but I’ve realised since being here that I expect a lot of you and I think we can work together to help me. Not just expect that you’ll fix me.”

Tyson knew that she was seeing her old psychiatrist back in Vancouver, that had never been a secret, and he’d actively encouraged it when they spoke about how cutting contact with her Denver doctor was one of the many reasons she was struggling so hard.

“Why was this different to last time, do you think?” he asked, mumbling around the thumb he was busy nervously biting the cuticle off. “You coming to Denver with me wasn’t anything like this.”

“Oh” Flick said, before happily—proudly—continuing, “so we talked about it maybe being because I stayed in Vancouver long enough for me to sort my things out and really come to terms with moving. If you get traded again, I shouldn’t immediately drop everything and come with you and I definitely shouldn’t accuse you of not wanting me to come at all.”

Tyson was nodding, though he wasn’t speaking. The contemplation on his face let Flick know that she just needed to wait for him for a few minutes, but a nervous energy ran through her as she did so. She focused on her breathing and used every trick she’d been taught by her psychiatrists over the years to not immediately assume that it was because Tyson didn’t want her that he was taking so long to answer.

“I feel like I haven’t had nearly enough breakthroughs,” he said eventually, his brow creased.

“There are plenty of psychiatrists you can talk to, Tys,” Flick said, confident because she knew that Tyson was always that way when talking to her about her therapy. “You don’t even need to be broken for them to be beneficial.”

His face contorted, almost imperceptibly, but Flick always noticed, but it cleared as he said softly, “You aren’t broken and I feel like every psych you’ve ever had will tell you that you shouldn’t say that.”

“Well, no, I shouldn’t,” she conceded, her sigh heavy, “but I’m just saying if you wanted to speak to somebody then you can and you should.”

“I will, Flick. I think that’s a good idea. We can even go see someone together.”

“I love you.”

Getting off the plane was a much nicer experience than getting on it.

There were no tears in her eyes, just a massive smile on her face as she walked into baggage claim with the knowledge that Tyson was there waiting for her. For a brief moment when she saw him she thought about running towards him but no amount of therapy had been able to shake the anxiety she had about drawing attention to herself.

Flick opted for a brisk walk to him, where his feet were firmly planted because he knew her well enough to not run at her even if it was what he really wanted to do.

She was far less apprehensive about throwing herself at him when he was within reach, her arms around his waist as he wrapped his around her shoulders, each holding each other tighter than she could remember. There were lots of hellos and I love yous and I missed yous.

It had been nearly a month since they last saw each other in person and Flick was caught up in making sure he was actually as real as he seemed. Tyson had no problem standing in her arms for as long as she needed because he was just happy to have her back.

They hadn’t even really pulled apart from each other when Flick said into his ear, too afraid to look him in the eye, “I know that it seems like I realised a lot of things while you weren’t around—but really, I just learned that I missed you. I guess I just got used to you knowing how to make me feel better but then this was far too much for you to be able to fix.”

“Flick, I’m gonna try and make you feel better for the rest of your life.”

[squishykotetsu]

The Great "Squishy went to a Festival" Post

I wrote a thing for some friends but they said to put it online, so here comes:

a little guide to the bands I watched at this years PartySan, written for people that don't know anything about metal, because more people should listen to metal :3

This is a list of all of the bands I watched, with a quick blurb about what they sound like, how the concert was, and a link to a song for checking them out!

Rope Sect BIG recommend, very chill groovy dark goth-y rock with nice gritty dirty production, I love their first EP to bits! The concert was wonderful and the guys are lovely. Give them a listen, even if you're not into metal at all! Track recommendation: Tarantist https://open.spotify.com/track/6lxekwquW2tnlvBNeIwGg0?si=c455db23e99a48ac

Mephorash very cool black metal (meaning there is screams n shid) - epic, kind of unconventional, makes you feel like there's some satanic fuckery afoot :D The concert was in the same vein, very ritualistic and mystical - good stuff Track recommendation: Sanguinem https://open.spotify.com/track/2JQQhdTBOhRV8knLclnF83?si=377bf940b41a441f

Left to Die they're a coverband, so I'll just talk about Death, the band that they're playing, cuz they nailed the sound (granted they do, I think, have some of the original members). Death were a huuuuugely influential band for the genre of, you guessed it, death metal absolute killer riffs - fast, catchy, groovy, technically and musically interesting and progressive, keeps you on your toes the concert had me honestly wondering what we've been doing these past like 40 years that we still can't top them Track recommendation: Left to Die https://open.spotify.com/track/0BO5g7FXNhZgQuC8xIORDm?si=5cf7cd9dea2e4da9

Ritual Death More "advanced", probably harder to get into if you don't already like black metal - they're still pretty new, but the black metal scene is keeping a close eye on them cuz they're interesting and weird. Musically very cool, more on the experimental side, but not too crazy. Just giving their own take on things. The concert was great, the frontman (guitar & vocals) was wearing this cool, tall mask/hood thing that hid his face completely, which made for an interesting experience in watching him sing - no visible mic, no visible face, only gestures and motions, very eery in a way that's hard to describe Track recommendation: Ancient Devil Worship https://open.spotify.com/track/0iVLWVXyoc1WABbtwpVfVh?si=b8984ed8165147a1

Darkend Nocturn Slaughtercult just really fuckin solid black metal - fast, evil, great riffs, lofi production, screeching vocals, blastbeats galore. Bonus: Female vocalist, always cool to see in this sausage fest of a scene (on te bands' side, the audience was fairly mixed) I sadly didn't enjoy their concert all that much cuz the sound was shite - the drums were drowning out the guitars completely. They do have an awesome stage presence though! Gonna try to catch them again somewhere else Track recommendation: A Sweven Most Devout https://open.spotify.com/track/4pkA0avPTHSA5QZz7dI3Op?si=50ab46fa9ffb412a

Schammasch I'd say it's post-black metal, so focussing on atmosphere and deeper lyrics rather than violence and just plain evil satan business - I really recommend checking out this song cuz it has exclusively clean vocals, might be a cool way to check out the other elements of black metal if you're usually put off by the screaming lol The concert was meditative, atmospheric and very moving - I nearly cried during one song :D Track recommendation: Metanoia https://open.spotify.com/track/3bj4gLDzAT8gTC8YdpOMRs?si=5eaeff94f32f4c96

Afsky really good example of a different common variant of black metal that isn't evil aggression: atmospheric melancholy. Wonderfully touching sad songs that use the harsh elements to bring voice to the darker parts of life, I love this kind of stuff The band impressively made these songs work under the 2pm sun, quite the feat Track recommendation: Altid Veltilfreds https://open.spotify.com/track/3dKyLNbYun1timBlPx3Wlp?si=dcce815edb2f456f

Batushka Do you have catholic trauma? This is the band to work it out to. It's black metal from Russia with orthodox male choir elements - epic, dark, mighty, really cool unique shit. Their theatrical, church-y performance was perfect to bring this sound to a live setting Track recommendation: Песнь 1 https://open.spotify.com/track/34FWlbZHTtjslQ9u07ghTY?si=643bec22ba684bbf

Non Est Deus again, just absolutely solid black metal. Good production, kinda lacking in creativity with the lyrics (church bad hurr durr), the guy's other project is much more impressive (they're called Kanonenfieber and they write about WW1) - still really good (epic, fast, dark), just not all that unique imo cuz I think they're too close to Mgła, who are just the best at this particular style of black metal. Bangin show though, you can tell these guys have been on a stage before :D Track recommendation: Thousand Years of Sand https://open.spotify.com/track/7CXCoEqwKrYnHnzAkpmt2Y?si=fb8029a4bd8e4122

Solstafir Kind of chill, kind of psychedelic, progressive blend of influences from within and without the spectrum of metal music - no two songs are really alike, so I'll just recommend a chill one that's easy on the metal bits and should be quite enjoyable for everyone. I used their concert for a bit of a sit-down to relax my back, have a beer and just float around in their soundscapes, so I can't say too much about the front and center before the stage experience. Sound was fantastic tho Track recommendation: Ótta https://open.spotify.com/track/2LJZE1yXy9SdglruufEDHG?si=f239271b14df4838

Konvent This is the heavy shit. The genre is called "doom metal" for a reason. Slow, hard-hitting, dark and unrelenting. A beatdown of a listening experience, but in the best way possible - these ladies don't fuck around. Probably the concert that I had the most physical experience with, I felt like I got run over by a steamroller (affectionate) Track recommendation: Puritan Masochism https://open.spotify.com/track/770HRSwohWkdbOOk6ByEeT?si=6e13a384cb8c451d

Regarde Les Hommes Tomber "watch humanity fall", fantastic french black metal - more on the dark and atmospheric than the enraged and evil side of things, but they keep it interesting, it's never formulaic - howling lamenting vocals, fast and straightforward but effective drums, nicely layered guitar harmonies that drive the mood of the tracks, is gud shit Very energetic live show, they really went all out Track recommendation: A New Order https://open.spotify.com/track/6eL3uPBHe6H23O9AcbhKJB?si=b9a4f709dc274b83

Unto Others Continuation of the 80s with modern technology. It's more rock than metal, but you can hear the influences. Absolute gods of the v i b e Catchy, groovy, but also melancholic and introspective at times, biiig recommend, again something that should be wayyy easier to get into than all that screaming insanity lol Track Recommendation: It doesn't really matter (that is both the song name and also just actual advice, all their stuff slaps lol) https://open.spotify.com/track/5uMml4h2o7eGfkqmXo2n7a?si=0310fa3faa924963

Sulphur Aeon My beloved, the band I was looking forward to the most - cosmic horrors made audible. Sometimes chaotic and fast, sometimes epic and majestic, sometimes slow and brooding, they're definitely conjuring something. Mostly harsh vocals with the occasional clean part. All-around highly competent musicians and songwriters They played a good selection of tracks and I had a blast! Shoutout to the guy from Bogota I stood next to who knew all the lyrics, you made an already awesome concert even better brother! Track recommendation: Usurper of the Earth and Sea https://open.spotify.com/track/0ZOCudJOOzIfV5P5JF0Cns?si=10c258aa203e4d00

Hellripper We're drunk, let's party! This is a crossover between black- and thrash metal, a very successful combination. Fast, virtuous, heavy, just a blast to listen to and to watch live - they bring the heat! It's the dirty sound of black metal without the depression, and the speed and ferocity of thrash without the shitty vocals lol (he scream tho). This is peak moshpit music and the concert was, accordingly, just pure insanity Track recommendation: All Hail the Goat https://open.spotify.com/track/79PE0a8VfZKSxhLVeUq3rd?si=f89cb77d2a8848be

Anaal Nathrak Death metal of the more modern variety. Very hard, very fast, but it's not just mindless brutality - they actually have very clever and effective songwriting - try to make it through the first minute so you can get to the chorus of this one, it's worth it! I didn't see much of the concert, it was another exhausted sit-down one, but they audibly enjoyed themselves and the vocalist was pretty funny in his between-song quips and stories about his own time at this festival as a fan some years back Track recommendation: Endarkenment https://open.spotify.com/track/2IUO6hWyrG7FYDkJZrFpQP?si=1240e071f87840bd

Paradise Lost this band has a huuuge discography, covering a plethora of metal subgenres, but they're probably most famous for their more gothic-leaning work. "Sway in the wind at a graveyard" type music - dark, melancholic, epic, atmospheric, clean but hard vocals. Excellent song- and lyrics writing, a bit more refined you could say. Not too out there tho, I find their music very approachable so it's another recommend to definitely check out if you wanna ease into the genre. The concert was phenomenal, you could tell the years and years of experience and mastery from everyone involved, including sound and light. Fun fact: you know the meme about how you can find the people with depression at a party by how loud they sing "I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all" when Bohemian Rhapsody plays? I found the goth version of this at this concert, when this song played and we screamed "VANQUISH THE PAIN" in unison :D Track recommendation: Faith Devides Us - Death Unites Us https://open.spotify.com/track/5gOjvocmJZQ05QBSE9xIkR?si=9800cb39b7364b37

Sodom absolute titans of the genre, they practically invented German thrash metal. Simple, fast, hard, there's a reason that they're still so successful even though they're getting old. One of the most solid live bands you can see, they know how to light a fire in the crowd Track recommendation: Agent Orange https://open.spotify.com/track/3Ks3K2RmCxSUcXS6cOvd43?si=91c3c9df2afb43ee

[always-andromeda]

(Walter white voice) JESSE we must peg Joby Taylor

La Belle Fluer Sauvage

Please and thank you!

Author’s Note | okay. anon. real talk. this request has been intimidating me for so long now. because the thought of pegging my man...intimidates me. like this was a fucking boss battle of a scenario for me to take on because I wanted to do it justice. so enjoy over three thousand words of complete filth. <3

Warnings | smut (MDNI), pegging, dirty talk, reader is an anxious mess, joby is an asshole but he is soft <3, nothing else I can think of!

You guess that it's a good night. He hasn't touched his cigarettes for hours. Normally when you catch him standing outside of whatever motel he and the band choose to haunt when they're stopped on the road, he's smoking, trying to blow away the memory of a bad show.

Lit cigarette between his gloved fingers. Eyes trained on you when he takes a puff. Curled lips as he blows smoke in your face playfully. His chuckle when you lightly punch his shoulder and say, "You're such a dick."

And your eyes practically roll into the back of your head when he replies smugly, "Only for you."  

As much as you pretend to hate the way he prods at you, you love how this has become normal. Very few things with Joby are actually normal. But somehow you find comfort in the certainty of his teasing and needling. At least he isn't bored. Because something tells you that Joby Taylor doesn't like when things get too boring for him.

In theory, it should be a good night. Joby played perfectly. He was actually awake enough to remember his own lyrics and the crowd was so pleased with the band's offerings that they delivered a few encore songs. But you play the words he said to you before going on stage over and over again.

"I need to talk to you tonight. After the show, okay?"

You hadn't been able to keep still for the whole concert. You played with the sleeves of his jacket that he gave you to wear in the cold. You'd chewed the inside of your cheek so badly that you'd began to taste copper and hadn't even noticed. You were too preoccupied with wondering what he could possibly want to say.

And the fact that he played well that night...Joby Taylor is dumping you. On the drive back to the motel, you sit, silent and stoic as his band members joke and laugh. And you practically accepted it as fact when the van pulled up to the motel. You'd told yourself that by the time morning came, you'd be single again. Then you splashed cold water on your face when the thought made you burst out in tears.

He’s been quietly standing outside for at least half an hour. He's pensive; staring out at lights on the highway in the distance.

With nothing he needs to numb, Joby Taylor is stone cold sober when you stick your head out the motel room door, trying to gauge his mood. But with his back facing you, you can't really get a reading based on his relaxed shoulders.

"Are you gonna come back inside? It's getting cold." You try.

"Yeah...I was just thinking about something." he mumbles.

He's bored. That's why he wanted to talk. It's over.

You step out a bit, leaning around the doorframe, arms wrapped around your chest when you ask tentatively, "Didn't you say you wanted to talk tonight?"

Joby chuckles but you find no comfort in the sound. "Oh, yeah." He turns towards you finally. "I was thinking about our future...and...how we're doing now..."

You already feel your eyes welling up. Here it comes.

"I think I'm ready to take our relationship further."

Wait. What?

Your brow furrows. "What do you mean?"

At this, Joby tenses. He takes one of the hands buried in his jacket pocket and rubs his chin, looking thoughtful before he moves forward and brushes past you, entering the room. You barely hear him when he mutters, "It'd be easier if I just showed you."

You watch him go to his suitcase, unzipping it and rifling through one of the mesh pouches on the inside. He pulls out a plastic bag and you can make out some sort of box inside.

Setting it on the bed, Joby nods towards the package. "I got you a present."

Nervously, you creep towards it until you're sitting on the edge of the bed. You stare up at him with big eyes. His pursed lips and small nod encourages you slightly. You reach inside the bag and pull out the box and nearly jump when you see the so-called present.

A dildo and a harness. Both colored hot pink. The smiling blonde woman pictured on the box models it with a lacy bra in a matching color. Thumb running over the picture of the strap-on, your hand begins to shake.

Joby notices and sits beside you, taking the box from you.

"Hey, you don't have to worry about it if it makes you uncomfortable. I just wanted to try something and--"

You interrupt, "You haven't...done that?"

He smiles slightly, "Oh, you could say I have some...experience. Why? You've used one before, right?" His expectant stare fades as you stay silent, staring at the brown carpet below your feet.

“Shit…” he trails off. He’d thought about bringing up the idea for a solid month. Because as much as he wanted it, some deep part of him worried. In all his years living the way he does now, he’d had his fair share of partners. Lots of them. And there was certainly a spectrum of reactions to the idea. Sometimes it was easy and expected; one quick fuck and then he’d be back on the road again. Then there was the other end of the spectrum. Which often featured a partner with the same sort of distant look that you had, contemplating how to let him down gently.

If he’d had even an inkling of doubt over how you’d respond, he never would’ve asked in the first place. But something about how you treated him had told him that you’d be open. You seemed to annoy his sarcasm and his attitude. You also had the uncanny ability to make him feel guilty when he stepped over a line. In a strange way…you softened him. 

That’s when it clicks into place for him. In all his years, he thought he’d seen every reaction. But this is an entirely new one: apprehension.

Oddly enough, he isn’t upset. For some reason, he doesn’t feel that burning disappointment in his belly at the thought of that channel closing off. If anything, he only wants to open it further.

So he gives a little more, “We don’t have to.” He struggles to articulate himself for a few seconds before stuttering, “I-it’s not a present if it won’t be fun for you too.”

As soon as the initial shock wears off, you turn the idea over in your head a few times. One insecurity is replaced with another as you latch onto one word. Experience. Something you don't have.

Suddenly, you're reminded that he's had people before you. People who all probably showed him a better time than you ever could. You could only imagine that wistful smile of his forming at the memory of encounters from long ago. But if it was really that good, wouldn't those people still be around?

As Joby's hand settles on your thigh and gives you a gentle squeeze, it grounds you. He's here. He's got you. And he's bought you a hot pink fucking dick and he wants you to fuck him with it.

Your voice is laced with a shaky whine, "You really trust me, don't you?"

Joby looks at you blankly. "Uh...yeah..." He says it like it's the most obvious thing in the world. Like you hadn't nearly had a breakdown fifteen minutes earlier thinking that he was building up the nerve to say it was over.

You could cry out in relief. Your boyfriend doesn't want to stop fucking you. He wants you to fuck him. And suddenly...it's on the way to becoming a very good day, both for him and you.

Joby helps you put on the harness, making sure to adjust the straps so they're not too tight or too loose. But you throb when he squeezes some lube on his hand and wraps it around the length of the plastic cock.

As he coats you with the liquid, he ducks down, whispering in your ear with a raspy tone, "There you go, princess. You're all wet now."

And you are. But you have a feeling he's talking about the dildo. Or he could be talking about the heat between your thighs. Though you can feel his smirk on your skin as he kisses your neck, you can't be sure if he has any clue how dizzy you feel. Your hand only has a few seconds to weave through the hair at the nape of his neck, grounding you, before he gives you a small kiss.

"You can do it. I know you can. I do it to you all the time." he teases.

You sound like you're in another universe entirely when you say, "You're such a dick."

But you see his snarky reply coming from miles away. "Only for you." It has you melting in an instant.

Joby takes his place, kneeled on the bed and slightly leaned forward. With his hands braced on the headboard, you're face to face with his back once more. Usually you're more acquainted with the snake tattoo that coils on his chest. But now you get to see every edge of the word Trouble etched across his shoulder blades in ink. You trail your fingers down his spine, watching the way his breath catches slightly when you reach the curve of his ass.

You'd be lying if you said you hadn't thought about him being in this kind of position before. You never would've believed that he'd actually want it too. Nevertheless, you're grateful to have him when he shudders as you slowly slide a finger inside of him, testing the waters.

"Does that feel okay?" you ask.

Joby nods slightly, keeping his breathing steady. For some reason, like aching bones before a storm, he gets the feeling that he's in for something bigger than he can even fathom. He feels it in the small pit that's already forming in his stomach. His cock stands on end and, fuck, it's begging to be touched. But he abstains from easing it and keeps his fingers curled around the headboard, jagged fingernail close to digging into the wood.

You add another finger and give him slow strokes. And as much as you're preparing him, you're also preparing yourself for the inevitable point where you'd have to actually fuck him. The dildo is a little smaller than he is--you'd guess around five inches--and a bit thicker than him.

You wonder how he came around to choosing this one. Because even though he said it was yours, you assume he chose what he was comfortable with; something he's used before. As you slide your fingers out of him and hesitantly grab onto the strap, you try not to think about how many times he's done this exact routine. You try to push away the pressure of expectations and the idea of being boring. Because this most certainly isn't boring for you.

The thought emboldens you ever so slightly. So you rub the tip up and down between his cheeks and watch the back of his thighs go tight with anticipation.

Through gritted teeth, Joby says, "Are you gonna...are you gonna do it or not?"

His obvious impatience and the way his pale skin flushes with the most beautiful, delicate pink hue you've ever seen makes you giggle. "Give me a second, baby." You taunt, "You'll get it soon."

You go a little further, nudging at his hole before pushing forward. You guide the length along inch by inch and hold onto his hip, keeping him in place as he starts to shake.

Joby lets out a symphony of soft, croaking moans as he adapts to the stretch and holds on all the more onto the headboard. His brain seems to be suffocating under the weight of the moment.

Just to let some of the steam out, he blurts out, "Say something...fuckin'...fuckin' talk to me..."

You cycle through every bit of dirty talk you can remember him using. Sputtered words, spoken in the heat of the moment through clenched teeth all flood your head and you manage to gasp out, "You're such a good boy, taking all of me like this."

You swear you've heard him say it before. But your mind is so jumbled that you can barely think of the specifics. You can only think about the sensations as you begin to move. Your hips snapping back and forth as you manage to fuck him so deep with a stroke that his ass slaps against the faux leather. The strangled groan he lets out at your words. And then one little word that he repeats like a chorus.

Harder.

Something about that gets you more than anything else. It gives you the gall to take more control. One arm wrapping around him, you pull him flush to you. With your other hand, you wrap it around his throat and apply light pressure, just until you hear him begin to choke.

You can practically hear his smile as he chuckles as he says through a sharp gasp, "There you go...good girl..." The simple praise makes your heart swell happily. 

Joby's head falls back on you slightly. His ear within proximity to your mouth and your head finally starting to screw on just right, you take the chance to wind him up more.

"I bet you haven't been fucked like this before, huh?"

Joby struggles to speak. He simply shakes his head and lets out little groans through his agape mouth.

"Can you use your words for me, baby?"

You decide that you love prodding at him just as much as he does when he sputters hoarsely, "No..."

"That's right." You're breathless pounding into him and trying to keep him steady. "I'm the only one who can get you like this."

He repeats your words dumbly, "You're the only one...only-- Only one..."

You feel his lower half start to convulse and get an idea. Now that he's let you in this far, you don't want to be leaving anytime soon. You release his hip from your grip and form a tight fist around his twitching cock. Joby reacts immediately with a sharp inhale and a loud moan.

Pumping him slowly, you hiss, "Who do you belong to? Tell me who you belong to and then you can cum, baby."

You never imagined you'd get to see him this flustered. And you can't even begin to imagine what must be swirling through his head with the almost overwhelming stimulation. But you need to hear it. You need it like you need his teasing; need it like you need to breathe in his clouds of putrid cigarette smoke. He can become your oxygen, you decide. 

Joby hesitates, only able to manage some incoherent babble that makes you so proud that you nearly let him off the hook. But you cease tugging at his cock anyways, meeting his defiance with swift consequences.

You don't feed into how he desperately bucks his hips, searching for friction to ease his aching cock, "C'mon, Joby, I know you can say it. Who do you belong to?"

His eyes are creased and close to weepy when he finally answers, "You...fuck-- I b-belong to...to you..."

Your grip tightens and you continue your ministrations, faster now than ever. Your voice softens, "Good job! You're all mine. Let me take care of you now"

Already beginning to turn to jelly, Joby's eyes close as he whimpers, "Please...please...just let me-- fuck..." his brows knit together, concentrating on the electric pleasure coursing in his belly.

The fullness inside him and the ache of his leaking cock laces together, all tasting the same to him: bitter in the back of his throat and brewing into a crescendo that he doesn't think he's ever felt before, not all at once like this. He thinks he might be fine with being on his knees for the rest of his life if this was what was coming to him.

Keeping your tone sickly sweet, you coo against his ear, "I know. You can finish now, honey. Just let it go, it's okay."

Just like that, he's there, hips spasming into your hand as he fucks himself through the high. And Joby swears that he's never seen himself spill so much as his load paints the comforter. You stay sheathed inside him, holding him close and jerking the last few drops of seed from his already softening cock.

Joby's never looked this pretty, so wrecked and limp all because of you. He whines when you pull out of him and take off the harness, letting it fall to the floor. Though you know that you'll be eagerly awaiting the next time you get to put it on.

You tap Joby's thigh, signaling him to get off the bed and his legs shake as he tries to support himself when he stands. Removing the ruined comfort from the mattress, you hope that whatever washers the motel uses will be able to wash out the cum that's already starting to stain the blanket.

When you peel back the white sheets, you get in bed and pat the spot beside you. Joby follows the order but the surprise barely registers when you curl into his side. He doesn't even have the mind to say something snarky. If he did, he thinks he'd remark something like, "You're gonna fuck me like that and then want to cuddle?"

But really, all he can fully conceptualize is his gratefulness for your sensitivity. He was no stranger whatsoever to the rough treatment; to choking, biting, hair pulling, spanking, and almost any other kind of physical touch. Any other touch aside from this. His eyes droop as he realizes that it's been so long since he's had someone stay. So long that he can't even remember the last time.

Or maybe he's so fucked out that he can't make himself remember. He figures it doesn't matter either way. Because at least you're there. That's good enough of a thought to consume his swirling head. That and how proud he is that he got up the courage to suggest this in the first place.

You look up at him from your spot on his bare chest. "Today was a good day, right?"

Joby isn't thinking about the show or the encore or the fans who screamed his name hours before when he answers. His eyes are focused entirely on your fingers, tracing over the snake head on his chest softly. God, is he ever so glad he got you that present.

He replies faintly, "Yeah...a fuckin' great day."

[vamp-stamp-fics]

The black phone Headcanons pt. 2

Fandom: the black phone

Word count: 1226

Tags: fluff, Headcanons, slight mentions of Finbin & Brance, some angst for Vance & Robin but not too much

The black phone hcs pt 1

A/n: here's part 2 of my tbp Headcanons

• going back to Robin liking Michael Jackson I feel like when he's doing chores he's having a whole concert in his living room, he's putting his SOUL into lip syncing/singing those lyrics. Sometimes he'll invite Finney over so they can dance around the living room to Mj lol

• Robin & Finney are childhood friends. How they met is that Robin saw finney alone on the school playground and decided to walk up to him and they stuck together since.

• Robin was the first to develop a crush on Finney while finney thought his attraction towards Robin was just extreme admiration. He talked to Gwen once about how much he admired Robins ability to not take shit from people and how much he likes hanging out with him, it finally clicked With Gwen and she explained to him that "Finney you might have a crush on him 😐" he stood there for a good 2 minute because realizeation hit him like a train of holy shit she's right

• Robin calls Finney Guey (someone said it meant dude but when I looked it up it meant smth else but progressed into being used as dude but that might be wrong so I apologize to my Spanish speaking readers in advance 💀) Finney understands little Spanish so he hopes whatever Robin's calling him isn't insulting

• Bruce is passive aggressive when insulting people while Vance is just upfront calling people cocksuckers he loves using that word

• speaking of Bruce being mean, ik alot of people characterized him as a Golden boy, the boy next door, sunshine but he can be mean as shit if he has to Don't tell me he can't be, y'all saw the way he looked when he thought finney was gonna win the game when he is he's sarcastic and somewhat of a smart ass. Vance finds it hilarious and encourages it when he gets that way

• Bruce is also extremely competitive even outside of Playing baseball. banned from playing board games with the gang cus it went to his head

• Vance is also banned from playing for the time being cus he almost broke his mother's vase out of anger which insued a scolding in front of the rest by his mom lol

• Vance is a great cook but he's like Gordon Ramsay whenever someone (besides his mom ofc) tries to help him

• Vances mom's Italian, his mom taught him how to cook when he was younger so that's why he's great in the kitchen lol

• Everyone survived/lived Au: this is a continuation of pt 1 of my Vance hcs with his mom when Vance got older (like older teens-young adult age) his mom got back in contact with him and decided to stay in his life for good

• Grab n Go used to have a vending machine but soon went out of order cus Vance kept punching it every time the food got stuck which was often, the thing was a piece of shit anyways as Vance would say

• English is Bruces second language and Japanese is his first, when he talks with his parents and sister he uses Japanese most of the time. obviously they speak English as well but when it's just the 4 of them they like to talk in their native language. Bruce sometimes likes to use it to confuse tf out of the rest of the group when talking with them. Robin thinks it's funny

• Robin will absolutely destroy the school lunch food after saying "it's not even that good" mf will eat that dry ass chicken sandwich like he's on death row and it's his last meal. Same for Vance tbh

• Robin favorite candy is Reese's absolutely devours them. Idk if Reese's pieces was a thing back in the 70s but if they were he fucks with them too. Finney also likes Reese's and M&Ms while Gwen prefers M&Ms more

• Robin's a single child but has a fuckload of cousins that visit him on holidays. He's secretly always wanted a little sibling (I mean he sees his baby cousins as his own siblings but they're not always around) so when finney introduces Robin to Gwen they immediately have a sibling relationship

• Robin's uncles has a son named Rick/Ricky. He's older than Robin (like around 17-19) Robin sees him as a older brother.

• since Rick is busy most of the time with work and school it's always a treat for Both him and Robin when he takes Robin (+ finney to ofc) to hangout

• Rick also has a girlfriend that finney might of used to have a small crush on lololol that sometimes also comes with them if she's free

• Vance uses a fucking trash bag as his backpack 💀 that or a backpack that's a thread from falling apart

• Griffin loves goldfish. He'd inhale a whole carton if he could but his mom always stops him before he can (talking about the snack not the actual fish)

• speaking of Griffin he's an absolute mamas boy. Always clings to her whenever They're in a store together

• Griffin bruises easily. He doesn't know why he just does, and what makes it worse is that he's a bit unaware of his surroundings sometimes so he's always bumping into things. His mom playfully scolds him about it while she kisses them to make them feel better

• Griffin is an extremely picky eater as a kid. Literally any fruit or vegetable he doesn't like except apples, oranges, and carrots. when he gets older tho he grows out of it a bit, still hates broccoli tho

• Griffin also is a bookworm. Loves books and likes sitting in the library during lunch sitting next to the shelves and read. He got his love for books from his mom as she is also a bookworm so they bond over that hobby

• if someone calls Vance an idiot or a dumbass it'll set him off. Vance hates when people insult his intelligence, school already makes him feel like shit as is he doesn't need some dickhead telling him he's stupid even as a "joke" like if it's his friend jokingly call him a dumbass once he'll laugh it off but if it's someone doing it to make fun of him they're catching a right hook

• Everyone survived/lived Au: when karate kid is realesed it became one of Robins all time favorite movies and had Finney watch it with him (also modern au: he absolutely loves Cobra Kai)

• when Vance died his mom found out in a newspaper after they found the bodies and broke down in her kitchen. Asking herself why was her baby taken

• and when Robin died it hurt too much for his mom to remarry or have other children as she felt it would be "replacing" her passing husband and son

Wow dropped those angst bombs out of nowhere. Sorry lol

• as much he likes to seem tough Robin absolutely hates spiders. He'll scream and violently stomps the shit out of it but if he's with the others he'll act like they're being overdramatic and kill it as if he isn't internally screaming with them. Finney knows but doesn't say anything

• Billy loves marvel and has a comic book collection. His favorite marvel character is spiderman

[into-september]

Five things I'd never got to experience if I hadn't been in band

English is lacking a good vocabulary for ensembles consisting of adults of varying age playing wind instruments which sometimes involve marching, but it's not like the "wait, you guys do something else than Sousa and Christmas mucic" stereotype isn't a thing over here as well.

My two greatest musical experiences are ones I can't share because one of them was a jazz performance written specifically for the band I was in and performed only once, some nine or ten years ago, in a small, rural pub full of drunk people with no way to appreciate it. The other was some jazz-up version of "In the Hall of the Mountain King" performed in what was allegedly one of the world's best concert halls. In Riga, twenty years ago.

But here are some other pieces I'd never gotten to play if I hadn't done this.

I have a love-hate relationship to marching band marches, finding them one the one hand cool and on the other, exhausting. And - not gonna lie - Sousa is just tired, even for me who've played comparatively little of him.

But Army of the Nile is always a highlight. It's difficult, but it's so fun. The only song where the woodwind embellishments feel like they add something more than showing off the finger work of the flutes and clarinets. Best trio, change my mind, taken just that level higher by the bars seguing the first run to the repetition.

I feel like the only person who love Tolkien primarily for the hobbits, and this is the most hobbit-y piece of music in existence (arguably barring the Prancing Pony number from the musical stage show). Sure, the third clarinet might involve a technically impossible semi-quaver trill between A1 and C#2, but everything about this number is perfection; the way it captures the spirit of hobbits, the perfect shifts between cheer and melancholy, the fact that at 6:14, the score says "ships come. Gandalf comes too", according to the director. Too bad I haven't got the vocabulary to say what it is about the chord shift at 1:40

Never played this one with a cornet solo, and this is the only recording I could find. Which is weird, because I didn't even know this was originally written for a cornet solo until I saw a different performance of it on youtube. But the cornet is clearly the superior instrument for both the clarinet solo in the beginning and the trumpet one in the middle, so please enjoy it, and also the most triumphant french horns coming in with the main theme at the end.

This is, after all, the epitome of wind ensemble music.

Only Scandinavians would understand, but understand at least the joy it brings me every time I get to do the Schubert towards the end. This piece is just pure joy and so much fun

The second and third movements I can give and take, but the first and the fourth? Sign me up, any day. You'd think playing the exact same movement over and over would get old, but it somehow never does.

[greatwyrmgold]

Oshi no Ko is a lot like Mushoku Tensei, in that I would have dropped both series immediately due to their protagonists embodying some of my pet peeve tropes, but people keep saying they're good, so I want to give them a fair shake.

Yeah, no, that was my one concise, well-composed statement for the post. Everything else is just rambling about random thoughts. Keep reading if you want to see another perspective on OnK or like reading what I write, I guess.

Cream of the Crop

I get why the anime combined the first several manga chapters into a feature-length Episode 1; the alternative would be to spend 3-4 episodes building up something that would be twisted away in episode 4/5. But it feels like several distinct episodes in the lives of its main characters, connected primarily by the fact that it's the same person doing them.

The most obvious instance of this is how Ruby's past life is explored near the end of the episode, instead of at the beginning when said past life was introduced. It works, I guess, but...I think introducing, explaining, and resolving her issues around dancing in one chunk with no breaks works better when that chunk is a discrete manga chapter and not ten minutes of a feature-length anime episode. I can't help but wonder whether the story could have been restructured a bit in the screenplay stage.

The author clearly put a lot of research into the idol industry, and while he respects the idols, he absolutely does not respect the industry. Which is the proper distribution of respect in most industries, I feel.

It's interesting to contrast how Aquamarine and Ruby react to their respective reincarnations, how their very different apparent personalities are a straightforward result of taking advantage of a second chance at life after very different first chances. Maybe I'll write a full post about that.

The sound design in this show is great. The scene where Aquamarine and Ruby attend their mom's concert gave me the same kind of anxiety as a hundred people cheering in a small concrete room while loud music plays would in real life. (Though I could pause the noise and type something in the other tab, so it wasn't quite that bad overall.)

Crop of the Cream

I read the manga, since it was also available on the website where I...um, legally accessed the Kaguya-sama manga. I don't remember exactly why I stopped, beyond the overt-wish-fulfillment vibes and not having heard as many people insist that it's great.

I really like how the theme of deception is introduced in the anime's opening lines. It sounds like it's one of those "This is a word of fiction, any similarities to real people are a coincidence" disclaimers, but it's actually the start of a thesis statement!

Over the course of one scene, our protagonist: gets called a lolicon without denying it, tells a 12-year-old patient that he can't marry her because "he'd be good as dead socially" (and not any of the other reasons), offers to consider it when she's 16, doesn't deny that he'd date another 16-year-old if she asked, and gets called a lolicon again without denying it. It would be one thing if he was a high school senior, but he's a doctor who completed his residency, so he's probably at least 30. Ew.

The manager desperately hoping that Ai is 20 weeks constipated and not 20 weeks pregnant is pretty funny.

I'm the kind of person who will probably put way too much thought into the metaphysical implications of one of AI's twins being the reincarnation of someone who died years ago, and the other being the reincarnation of someone who died late in the third trimester. (Oh, um, spoilers; the Mushoku Tensei comparison isn't just because I find the protagonists aggravating.)

On the positive side, those implications probably contribute to the show feeling less aggressively pro-life than you'd expect from a series whose inciting incident (point of attack?) is a teenaged idol deciding to have kids even though it could ruin her career and reputation. The fetuses don't have souls even days/hours before they're born (after all, Aquamarine's soul is still in the doctor), and the possibility of terminating the pregnancy is floated quite neutrally.

It would have been easy to have the doctor...what's the silliest way to phrase this?...qualify for reincarnation after an appointment with Truck-kun. However, the author instead decided to have his death be part of an event that's actually relevant to the rest of the plot. Nice storytelling efficiency.

"Oh, right, there's another person who lives with us." The doctor clearly wasn't an only child in his past life.

One point of contrast between Oshi no Ko and Mushoku Tensei: Aquamarine is not perversely joyous about seeing his new mom's boobs. Rudeus is happy to be breast-fed, Aquamarine prefers the bottle.

(Which is as good a time to remark that, even though the doctor was worse than I remembered, he matured a lot when he turned into a baby. Or at least he toned down his worst habits.)

Judging by how well Aquamarine and Ruby sit when watching Ai perform on TV, they're probably six months old by that point. Which means that Ai's break from idol-ing was a bit less than a year long, and that she had half a year to remember that Ruby is in the pink onesie and Aquamarine is in the blue one. (Ai forgetting their names was a bit less silly when her kids were printed in shades of gray.)

This is contrasted with the fact that some background dialogue implies that Ai's idol group has only been on hiatus for six months or so, which in turn implies that the author either doesn't know or doesn't care that newborns can't sit up unsupported like that, even if they have the memories of a grown-up. (They don't have the muscles to support their heads, let alone their whole bodies.)

Yeah, the doctor was definitely a big brother before he got reincarnated.

Also, since you can see it: The fact that Aquamarine and Dummy Ruby each have a star in one eye (with Ai having a star in each) is a great character design detail. And while we're here, baby Ruby stealing her mom's phone to get into flame wars on Twitter is hilarious. (I hope she used her past life's account and not her mom's...)

Is it weird that I find newborn Aquamarine and Ruby talking more plausible than them sitting up or walking around? I have no idea if baby vocal cords are physically capable of making intelligible words.

"Aquamarine claiming to be a divine messenger? Nah, that's crazy, I don't believe in that stuff. Ruby claiming to be an incarnation of the goddess Amaterasu? Oh shit, that's definitely a thing." (Ruby must just be a better actress.)

Ruby's got the right idea. Or...well, part of the right idea, the liver thing is just absurd. But speaking of AI's salary, the 208,000¥ she got as net pay is not much to live on! According to the first source I found, the cost of living for a single person in Tokyo is about 143,000¥ without rent, with rent for a single-person apartment being at least 60,000¥. So her pay would cover Ai's basic expenses, if she didn't also have kids.

It seems like she's living with her manager and his wife (so said wife can be a live-in babysitter on top of her other duties), which complicates things a little. But yeah, no wonder she's worried about being able to send her kids to a good school. (And not buying ice cream won't help.)

Ai coming across a tweet complimenting her on the genuine smile she had when she saw her kids in the concert audience, and taking that as a lesson for making her smiles look more genuine in the future...that's her in a nutshell, isn't it? She wants to be the best idol she can, and she'll fake sincerity as hard as she needs to do it.

I can't tell how much of the over-the-top formality in Aquamarine's apology is in the original Japanese and how much is a result of trying to translate a level of grammatical politeness that English doesn't support, but it's funny either way.

Starting to remember that, as much as the doctor had a few really egregious moments (like the bit where he implied he'd be fine getting engaged to a 12-year-old if it wouldn't ruin his social life), the thing that bugged me/reminded me of Mushoku Tensei was less the perv stuff and more the adulation. I can only take so many scenes where characters remark on how Aquamarine is acting weirdly mature, only to praise him for being a genius, before I complain about it in the stream-of-consciousness log I have open in the other tab. Especially when one of them ended with a director going "I want to hire you as an actor, small child I just met. Take my business card." Kudos to Aquamarine for pointing out that he should probably give it to someone old enough to sign a contract. (If you gave your business card to an actual toddler, he's more likely to eat than to call you.)

Kana's attitude is weird for a kid, in ways that can't be encapsulated by any single screencap. It's probably a side effect of being a professional actress for a substantial fraction of her life, but I would be very amused if she (and every other child character with a meaningful role) was another reincarnee who remembers her past life.

I can't decide if Kana freaking out at how good Aquamarine was at acting for a "creepy child" role (when he wasn't even trying) is another instance of ego-stroking, or if it's a joke about how Aqua is just a creepy little dude. Sadly, it feels more like the former. The focus of the scene is on "Aquamarine is a good actor and Kana feels shamed next to him," not "Ha ha, Aqua's creepy".

One last point about Kana's bit: I find it hilarious that she assumes his legal name of "Aquamarine" is just a stage name. I mean, yes, that's fair. Aquamarine is a silly name, possibly sillier in Japanese than in English. Yet that's the name Ai chose for her son.

Aquamarine checking up on the state of his prior life's missing person report is a neat plot beat. It's also the only reason we know his doctor name (Gorou Amemiya). I wonder if it'll go anywhere.

Ruby wanting to hide details of her past life from Aquamarine feels like some pointless secret-hiding drama. Like, how is any of it going to be relevant ever?

Ruby expressing her grief by getting into more flame wars on Twitter was...a mixture of emotions. Sad. Poignant. Funny. Yeah, I said it, a preschooler sending violently angry tweets at people criticizing her dead mom is funny.

I like this line.

[mxshpitbaby]

tl;dr about my blog and me!

welcome to my blog:) this is basically my space for everything, so I will repost things I love, and also vent/rant here. kinda unorganized rn, oh well

disclaimer: I have mental health issues (most significantly bpd and anxiety) and I am actively learning how to live and cope with my feelings. One of my ways of coping is writing and blogging, I think finding connection is good for me because in the past I have felt so isolated and thought that no one else knew what I felt, but obviously that isn't true. Healing isn't linear, so that means I will have my bad days and bad feelings, and I'll use this blog to get shit off my chest and feel less alone. However, my account isn't just going to be a hub of negativity and bad feelings, I am also going to post positivity, just my thoughts that come to mind yk, im using this to help express my thoughts/feelings. I'm going to try to organize different posts with hastags, #myblogiventhere will be used for hard feelings, and once i come up with a good enough tag for my other posts I'll edit this and put it in!

get to know me: I consider myself to have the greatest taste in music. I love all metal, especially hardcore, and I have a soft-spot for nu-metal. Of course I love punk and post-punk as well. Fun fact: my license plate was G0THGRL. I love midwest emo and a few emo bands/songs. Local shows and supporting local music is what makes me the happiest in life. I have been learning to play bass and aspire to be in a band eventually

I love all animals, but I'm a crazy cat lady.

gifted kid burnout:) I was mainly gifted in english/reading (fuck math). I used to want to be an author, I won multiple essay contests as a kid. I loved doing speech and debate (& was amazing at it too) basically college drop out too, i had a full scholarship to community college but life fucked that up for me in the middle of my 1st semester.

I have extremely strong leftist, ancom, political beliefs. I used to get into so many arguments and debates for fun that now I'm burnt out of politics and stay more quiet. late stage capitalism is suffocating me.

Random list of (some) of my favorite things: concerts, nature, w33d, halloween, autumn, literature, love, learning, philosophy, poetry, my childhood build-a-bears, sad acoustic songs, baggy, comfy band tees, bass guitar, joey jordison, skateboarding, littlest pet shop, superbad, half-baked, rob zombie's movies, teotfw, photography, art (all mediums, sculpture is my personal favorite!), youtube

Random of list of things I despise (there's too many to list all, i am a hater): having celiac disease, royal blue (such an ugly color), out-of-touch rich people, nazis, ignorance, my anxiety, capitalism, tik tok and what it has done to society (i hate it so much, no account for me), doctors and medical related things, declawing cats, c0ps (1312)

[booksandchainmail]

Pale 7.8

Because Avery and Lucy were good at doing.  Verona was good at the practice but not so good at the hairy situations.

At some point the three of them need to talk about how they all feel like they're each letting the other two down

Avery looked so wounded, somehow.  Because of Laila?

that and being literally kicked aside

The feelings rolled over Verona and she wasn’t really equipped for it. She thought of her dad and how she’d left him.

I guess this is the flipside of how Avery commented that experiencing Verona's memories feels muted.

If she’d taken another path- if she’d stayed home, bit her tongue, got her dad that frigging flat ginger ale, changed the sheets, and let her friends go back, maybe let them go back without her, she could have helped out more at the perimeter. 

Verona is really beaten down here. I get why she's fixating on how she could have stayed in Kennet and been dutiful instead of chasing what she loves, but I think being stuck at home, in a place she feels she can barely breathe, hearing secondhand about everything Avery and Lucy were learning, would hurt her worse. Not to mention how she'd feel knowing they were in danger and stuck far away.

And because everything's gone so badly now, she's not giving herself credit for how much her skill with the practice has been useful in setting up basically every ritual and diagram they've made.

He was going to fight them and it would be disastrous.

Toadswallow... he really is a good teacher

If you want a laugh or you want to be sadistic?  He’ll be way more fun to go after than I will.  I just shut down, guys.

"My trauma responses make me uninteresting to torture" is such a fucked up defense. Like, good on Verona for finding a use for everything, but man that's bleak

“I thought the brownies would carry you off, Miss Hayward,” Bristow said, as a brownie crawled up to his shoulder.  It hissed.  “And you made a challenge.”

welp, him knowing about it makes things considerably harder. I'm not sure what they can do, particularly if he knows he just has to wait Verona out for a few hours. I think at this point it might really be depending on Avery

“She’s not a real member of the family, she’s not privy to our methods, and, funnily enough, I wouldn’t make her wear that thing.”

wow, Musser is managing to be a dick to literally everybody

“This kind of knowledge doesn’t come with the package, or with the clarification as they refine their Self, as if they were taking progressively smaller chunks of clay out of their raw Self, to create more detail,” Musser said.  “He’s either killed practitioners, or he’s seen others of his kind get bound.”

... or someone told him?

Everyone else is too complacent, too selfish, too wrapped up in what they’re doing.

... and Bristow isn't too selfish?

I have to ask, if you knew to the point of certainty that the well being of the world hinged on working with a man like him, would you? 

very Taylor Hebert of you there

He’s good at heart

doubt!

It will take time and education and meeting the right people to get him to a better balance. Losing the right people, even.

... I am reluctantly forced to acknowledge that it sounds like Ted might be speaking from experience here, of knowing Bristow in another timeline

“We need a tyrant for a moment, and he has it in him to be a true hero. I know this in a way I couldn’t possibly convey to you.”

yeah. Blech!

A music box played a full concert in plonky, artificial instrument sounds.  America hummed tunelessly along.

oh upside! If they're in the new building with America, that means the goblins (and maybe Avery, Zed, and Jessica?) have a way in.

The nine-ish minute intervals allowed her to keep track of the passage of time.

2.5 hours, more or less. Barely an hour to go until the deadline

“If I got two hours to watch TV, it meant two hours, and if I went a second over, then I’d have the same two hours with the music box, which usually meant a cold dinner, after.”

:(

“And my mom is not horrible. I have a roof over my head, food, education, practice, and opportunities, thank you,” Talia said. The reply sounded automatic.

:( :( :(

Hadley reached over her head, sticking out a finger, and poked Estrella in the side. Estrella didn’t react. “Tickle tickle.” Estrella swung her hand down, lightning-fast, for a full-faced slap on Hadley’s face. Hadley shifted feet around and sat up, looking at Estrella, bewildered.

unfortunately these antagonists are fun. Gore-strewn violent girl who always seems to be moving and fae practitioner who specializes in those who have gone static is a nice combo. Also, the fact that Estrella's family was killed by witch hunters and Hadley spends her free time hunting them... could be a point of connection.

“The dead can be touched as necessary.  But it should be respectful and mindful, not just of the quality of any materials, but of the sentiment for the dead.  One day we shall be dead and we should be so lucky as to be made useful after, and treated with respect in the process.”

very harrowhark-core

A knife, black as night, almost invisible against the dark blue sky, except for the fact it was glossy.

oni knife throwing!

Kind of played off of ideas like how if a superhero on TV had a forcefield that let light and sound through, it shouldn’t protect against sonic or light based attacks.

you can take the wildbow out of the capefic, but can't take the capefic out of the wildbow

A sharp stomp of one high-heeled shoe crippled the goblin on the floor. “Again!” it cried out, voice high. “Again, please!”

lol

The goblins charged the table.  Dolls intervened, the goblins bowled through the first dolls, started to pick themselves up, and headed for the table again.  Estrella had to tackle them to protect the music box, and in the process, they wrapped Bristow’s underwear around her face.

I like how goblins keep turning these fights into slapstick

America kept going.  So Verona did too, one eye wincing.  If Lucy got hit, she’d- she didn’t know what she’d do. But it wasn’t pretty.

Torn between liking how Verona panics at Lucy potentially getting hurt, and disliking Lucy potentially getting hurt

Verona’s hand changed. One large cat’s paw, very nice, and cats paws had claws, and claws could cut binding. Or maybe not, but she was riding a high and buying her own bullcrap and it worked. The claws cut through the cordage.

catgirl mode!

“I leave, I’ll only protect myself, nothing aggressive unless I must, and I’ll avoid seeking out circumstances that force my hand.  I’ll get my younger brother and we’ll step down from any fighting for the time being.  I so swear.”

Oh this is a good angle to pursue. A lot of Bristow's allies seem to have defaulted into it, if they can convince them to act neutral that's a big improvement. And I'm all for arguing for clemency if/when Alexander regains power.

“And I want to stab you in the boob.  Sorry hon.  That’s my condition.” “You could stab me in the leg to make it even.” “I don’t want to make it even. I want to stab you in the boob.”

broadening my "goblins keep making fights funny" statement to include goblin practitioners

Verona saw Avery come running. She braced for the incoming hug better than Lucy did.

:)

Zed, wearing his power glove, gave it a tap.  The battery icon flashed on and then went to full.

incredibly useful bit of practice

She’d let Bristow do his thing and gainsay her.  Hoping to hear some key words. Or rather, to use the apps that she’d bookmarked after trying to open lines of communication with Tashlit. One of them was speech to text and text to speech.

oh fuck yeah! I mean, I'm worried this might be similar to the brownie trick that backfired earlier, but good planning

“Or are your words true, and you’re pleased at this final outcome that you got with the help of the staff?  You, grateful to the brownies, with all the implicit danger that comes with that expressed pleasure and happiness?”

hahahaha get fucked

“This is my first of three challenges put forward to you, regarding our back and forth,” she told him.  She hung up and ended the message.

*mic drop*

[theredtours]

Yeah no PE is nice, but adulthood has that thing where you have to actively make an effort to keep in touch with the few friends that you have left instead of going with the flow of your life and ghosting them as a result, therefore ending up alone 😭 (I'm making efforts to fix this behavior which are working in my favor).

Nice to see someone else who is like "manifest, manifest, manifest" because everyone else is like "I'm in ur walls" and I'm just here like "Taylor played it yay" combined with a URL change if it's a big event and I happen to have a relevant one (ex: TMIK)

Bruh. That's literally me. I'm so much better of a friend online than I am in real life and it SUCKS but like, I'm also just too exhausted 90% of the time to actually get up and do anything with my irl friends, so I don't even try because I don't want to be the person always saying no to things. There's also the fact that I live in a college town and everyone ends up moving away and all my friends are significantly younger than me...

Hopefully when I move as well (date pending but I know it's coming soon), I'll be able to make friends my age in real life that don't require high amounts of energy haha.

On the note of what she's played, I do find it funny how up-in-arms people get when the song is played at a concert that isn't theirs. I'm personally like, "Any song she plays at my concert is gonna be so so good, so I really don't care what I get!" I wish more people had that mind set. And honestly, whether you're in the room or not, if you're quick, you'll be able to hear/see her play it on YouTube or here on Tumblr anyway so like, what's the point of being jealous?