#good place rewatch no survivors

[macbethz]

they sent my man to hell for having ocd

[teeny-tiny-revenge]

Today I'm thinking about Ed's reaction to the marmalade. No, not about that it's very good. (I wanted a gif of this moment and it was the only one I could find.)

I'm thinking about Ed's face after Stede's "Ship's stores are loaded with it. Had to get rid of some gunpowder, but I think it was the right decision."

Ed is surprised, shocked maybe, but you never get the idea that Ed thinks the load of marmalade is frivolous or a waste of space (as a lot of other characters would!). But Ed's eyes are wide with wonder. Ed is impressed. Ed is fucking inspired. (And a little bit in love already, but that's beside the point.)

Because Ed is a survivor. Ed has built his entire life around surviving, and he's successful at it, he's going grey in a career that tends to cut your life pretty short, he's built this entire act and persona up for the sole purpose of ensuring his safety and survival, and when challenged and threatened later in the series (before he completely loses his will to continue surviving like this) we see Ed throw away anything pleasurable in favour of holding up the sword and shield of Blackbeard and the Kraken.

Ed is a guy who has learned to prioritise survival over anything else. Ed's stores are certainly full of gunpowder, no space for even a jar of marmalade left. Ed lived a life, from young age on, that taught him that he doesn't get to have nice, pleasurable, fun and comforting things. He keeps his one nice comforting scrap hidden away inside his leather armour. He has more money than you can shake a stick at, but he doesn't have any luxuries. He doesn't even have comforts. He has knick-knacks. But he doesn't have soft robes to sleep in, he doesn't have the damn good whiskey Stede keeps in his cabin (although he could easily afford it!), and he certainly doesn't have good marmalade. Ed doesn't treat himself. Ed is a survival guy and he has survival necessities. Ed only has gunpowder. He doesn't have marmalade.

And here comes Stede, with his fancy boat full of fancy things that aren't helpful to survive on the seas. It's a ship full of joyful little pleasures. It's got a library, a nice cozy fireplace, two fucking chandeliers (overkill!), it's stocked with good brandy, and two full closets of nice clothes, and its captain prioritised tasty marmalade for breakfasts over gunpowder for survival.

Because the Revenge isn't built for survival. Stede was done surviving (he'd run away from just surviving). He was probably aware he might not have a long life out on the sea, but Stede didn't come to survive. Stede came to live. And he was going to live to the fullest. He stocked his ship with all the things that he found make life worth living. (Stede later learns that he doesn't need all the things to enjoy life, but that he needs friends and his lover, but that's not the point here.) Stede designed his ship to be fun. To be a nice place to live. The Revenge is full of creature comforts. A full bathtub! Can you imagine Ed to have a full bathtub on his old ship? I can't. Because Ed has spend his life so busy surviving that until he's almost dead he doesn't stop to consider what makes his life worth living. And then it's so simple things he comes up with. (Creature comforts!)

Ed has lived a life of denying himself nice things in favour of things he hates but that are "safe". Ed lives in a house full of gunpowder. And he's choking on it, it's killing him, but he doesn't think there's another way. And then comes a guy who goes "oh actually, I replaced a lot of my gunpowder (not all btw) with this super tasty marmalade so I can have nice breakfasts". And to Ed that's life changing. Look at his face next time you rewatch, when he turns to Stede. This is a guy who just had an epiphany, who just had someone crumble his world view in the best of ways. You don't only have to keep gunpowder. You can also have marmalade, because marmalade is nice. You should live rather than just survive.

And we see Ed try to embrace this. With Stede, and for a brief time before Izzy happens to him, even on his own, Ed lets himself have nice things. He wears comforting clothes and eats the marmalade from the stores. Because it's nice to live a little even when you're sad. And then he goes back to just surviving, and he can't do it. He's tasted marmalade, he can't deal with being stuck with nothing but gunpowder anymore.

But he does survive, and Stede comes back, and they spend the night together and the next morning Blackbeard's getup is tossed away tied to a cannonball (a companion to the gunpowder), and for Ed there's toast with marmalade in bed.

Because Ed chose life. And to live means to have things to enjoy. Like good marmalade to start the day.

[blvdheart]

life is beautiful, but you don’t have a clue

⇢ getting all bruised up and battered with minimum medical aid from the government is brutal. leon doesn’t believe he deserves to be helped, though. after months of hiding these moments of vulnerability from you, he lets finally lets you in, knowing deep down that you wouldn’t turn him away

cw: fem!reader, established relationship, leon’s alcohol dependency and low self-worth, religious guilt, attempts to hide depression, brief description of wounds, angst, comfort and reassurance, patching him up, small snippet with chris, 3.2k wc

note: i promise there’s more to me than just writing ooc smut for him 😞 i rewatched vendetta and omg i want to hug him so bad. (˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ ) i’m not sure if the small font is too straining on the eyes, if it is, lmk!! i’ll change it back to the regular sized one. if you see typos, no you didn’t

divider below is by @/cafekitsune!!

just how many confessionals and assigned prayers would it take for leon to be forgiven for all his wrong doings? probably more than he could keep track of. then again, he hasn’t clasped his hands together and recited a muttered chant for redemption in ages. the belief in a savior dissipated alongside his naive outlook in life once upon a time.

he had laid on a cold hard mattress for hours in the infirmary made specifically for DSO agents. the nurses didn’t give him much care, though. he was patched up, prescribed some pain killers, and sent home. the recovery period was over a month long, but he knew he wouldn’t actually be granted that much rest before he had to be back in action.

two broken ribs and a dislocated shoulder. he’s dealt with those same conditions time and time again, but it never got any easier, especially as he got older. he was busy basking in his misery, longing for only two things: the bitter taste of alcohol on his tongue, and his girlfriend’s soothing presence.

he tried to keep this part of him hidden, he was ashamed. he had already opened up to you about his job, and how he would be away for long periods. what he didn’t tell you was that those said long periods usually included his recovery, so you didn’t have to see him all broken and battered. he usually kept all the lights in his house off even when the evening approached, so you wouldn’t know he was back in town if you happened to drive by his place.

the two of you had gotten together a year and a half ago, and he used to be more…stable. he feared you’d up and leave him if you found out how bad it had gotten for him.

but the thing is, he knew you would take care of him. your love for him was unconditional, and he didn’t know whether to be grateful for it or to feel sorry for you. after all, he was known to have occasional outbursts of irritation, being on edge from all his baggage and his frequent doses of hard liquor. but he wasn’t a bad man, he just needed some TLC.

he could nurse his good ol’ mind numbing beverages stored coldly in his fridge all he wanted, but it wouldn’t make him feel any better. in fact, his self-hatred only grew once he found himself depending on alcohol. in his head, he chose to rely on a drink to feel a buzz. in reality, that was far from the truth. a man like him was drowning in the depths of his baggage. PTSD, survivor’s guilt, and alcohol didn’t mesh well.

it was you who kept him sane, really.

you were the skin-kissing sun after a harsh thunderstorm, like a balm to his traumatized and guilt ridden soul. you saw him for who he was, the selfless and love-yearning man he had always been, not a grouchy killing-machine like some people started to view him as of late.

even when he was overseas, your love always managed to reach him.

it was those heartfelt text messages and voicemails he often received that made him tread through his missions carefully, he knew there was someone back home worth living for.

voicemails:

“hi leon! i know you said you might not have internet connection over there or that your phone might break but…um…i dunno, there’s a chance you’ll hear this, so might as well, right? i really miss you. i was procrastinating during my job the other day, yeah boo me…but i made a list of some movies we can watch when you’re back in town. maybe you can come over and we can cuddle on my couch all night, hehe. anyway, i hope you’re okay. i really don’t want you to get hurt or anything. call me when you fly back in?”

“oh shit, is this voicemail? [incoherent mumbling] uh, okay yeah. hi leon, i’m at rite aid right now. i don’t wanna sound nosy but i saw some of the bloodied medical tape you left in my trash and…and i just got worried and wondered if you needed anything? maybe you didn’t want to concern me but, tell me next time okay? let’s see…there’s a lot of different brands, i dont know which one you’d like. call me back ASAP, i’m gonna stay here for a bit longer just in case you do. bye, i love you!”

“okay i figured you wouldn’t pick up. i know it’s like four am but i just woke up and my dream was about us! it went like…like…oh shit. i think i forgot already, bummer!” silence, and some hums. “i literally just had the dream like five seconds ago and i can’t remember it anymore. i’m pissed! anyway, see you tomorrow? or today, technically. bye!”

messages:

found this meme and it reminded me of you…wait do you even know what a meme is? ha, loser

here’s the link to the letterboxd website i told you about earlier!

come overrrr, i’m off work at 8 today. unless my asshole of a coworker shows up late again, ugh

you left your jacket at my house, it’s mine now!!!

not sure if you fell asleep already but please text me back when you can and when you’re sober. ik we just had an argument but we should talk it over, i want everything to be okay between us, i love you. you’re not mad at me are you??

replaying those sweet voicemails was like a remedy, providing such raw tenderness that nothing else in the universe could. you were the epitome of an angel walking the earth, keeping him from falling into the pits of hell by visiting his dreams whenever fell asleep all splayed out on his floor with an empty bottle by his side. it should be you snuggled against him instead, on a bed.

while you gave leon all your sweet love, there were other people working behind the scenes, dishing out some tough love to leon. like chris, who had hit rock bottom once and didn’t want leon to fall prey to the same thing.

“and how about your girl? you really think she’ll want to deal with you being like this all the time?” chris asked, his voice more agitated than mad. he wasn’t angry, just worried and wanting to push the truth into leon’s head. he had found leon sitting on his ass with a drink too many times to be considered a brief stress relief.

“leave her outta this.” leon scoffed, turning off his phone (he had been staring at his wallpaper that was a picture of you.) “i don’t let her see this side of me.”

“side? leon, it’s not just a side. it’ll consume you whole. what happens when it becomes your whole life, huh? what happens when you start disappearing all the time?”

“get off my ass, chris.” leon sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, trying to not lash out. “i came here for some peace and quiet, not for you to nag at me like you’re my mother.”

“i’m not trying to–” chris cut himself off, unsure of how to get across to leon. leon was absolutely miserable, the only time chris saw some hope in his eyes was whenever he soberly rambled about you. “i’m just saying that you’ve got a good thing going for you, and i don’t want you to ruin it by not trying to get better.”

silence, so chris spoke up again. “she cares about you. so try to care about yourself too, okay? i’ve been there, i see myself in you. i know it’s not your fault that you’ve turned to alcohol. but, let her in, let her help.”

leon looked down at his glass, watching his own reflection, some guilt burning in his gut. he hung his head a bit, looking like a kitten that had just gotten in trouble. he knew chris was right.

maybe this once, he could break the cycle of hiding and cowering. his throat felt dry as he reached for his phone, wincing a bit at the shock of pain the movement caused.

his fingers struggled to tap his cracked screen, the brightness of it making his nose scrunch and eyes squint. eventually, he found the phone app, you were at the top of his list, and he dialed.

…

“leon!! hi, hold on, lemme turn my TV off, i was watching a podcast.” and surely enough, he could hear the background noise lower until it was gone completely and your heavenly voice was filling his ears again. “okay, done. i can’t believe you’re calling, i’ve been waiting all week! how are you? not hurt or anything, i hope? need me to pick you up from the airport or?”

his lips twitched, threatening to turn into a small smile at your bombardment of questions. but he bit it back, feeling undeserving of such happiness. your voice overpowered the weak buzzing of his fan and the wind that rusted outside.

“uh, no.” his voice sounded hoarse, so he tried to clear it. “i’m actually at home, was wondering if you could come over? i…kind of need some help. only if you can, i don’t want to bother you.”

the silence that lingered made him feel tense, his heart pumping so loud that the noise reached his ears. then he heard some shuffling over the phone, as well as some keys jingling.

“be there in fifteen.”

it was just like you to drop everything to help someone else, no questions asked (at least not yet.) god, he loved you.

his world had felt muted before you, devoid of any color and saturation. but every time you he thought of you, suddenly colors were blooming as if he was a blank canvas and your paintbrush strokes were bringing him to life and giving him a purpose.

waiting fifteen minutes felt like an hour, maybe because he was counting down the time on his fucked up lock screen. the numbers looked wonky, he could barely make them out. his watch was broken too, no luck there. having no concept of time, even for a moment, felt weird.

he eventually heard his front door lock twisting. he had given you a spare key just in case, he trusted that you would never snoop through his things or take advantage of that privilege.

“um, hello? leon?” you sounded worried.

“god, it’s dark in here…” you then mumbled, splaying your hand against the wall and searching for his light switch. a couple seconds later and bingo, the sudden bright light left you disoriented for a while.

“i’m on the couch. just…don’t say anything, please?”

your brows furrowed at his request, and you rushed on over, your shoes thudding against his wooden floor. surely enough, there he was, laying on his back with agony written on his features. he had his leather jacket off, his arms having nips and tears all over. small ones, at least, but still collectively all painful.

“oh leon…” a worried mutter fell from your lips, and you kneeled down, the harshness of the hard cold floor not even registering because you were too engrossed in him.

you didn’t want to cry in front of him, not when he was the one suffering. but the pain you felt in your chest for seeing your sweetheart look so defeated just had you getting a bit teary. leaning forward, you planted a kiss on his forehead, your hand raising to stroke the crown of his head. his hair was a bit knotted.

he leaned into your touch like a puppy, letting out a pleased sigh. your affection felt like a gift in a bow after the way he had been slammed around by infected enemies earlier.

“what happened? i—“ okay, he said no questions. you could save the context seeking ones for later, but you did have to know what was wrong. “where are you hurt?”

he didn’t dare look into your eyes, knowing that it would break him. he was looking down further at your neck though, so his gaze was at least on you.

“everywhere.” he managed to croak out with a dry chuckle. um, not helping. “if we’re talking specifics though, the doc told me i broke two ribs on my left side. i also dislocated my left shoulder, they put it back into place but um…y’know, it still hurts like hell.”

after taking a breath to compose yourself, you nodded and stood up. “okay. do you have an ice pack?”

leon nodded. “in my freezer.”

you went off to fetch it, also taking one of leon’s small kitchen towels and wrapping it around the ice pack before placing it onto the coffee table. then, you went to his bedroom, getting two of his pillows and the first aid kit in his bedside drawer.

his eyes lit up when you returned. you were so nurturing it made him want to sob into your arms. but he’d open up to you one step at a time, one day at a time.

“can you…can you try sitting up just a bit? you’re supposed to be a bit propped up.”

well, that wasn’t the worst he’s had to do with a broken rib. he could manage. with a grunt of pain, leon slowly propped himself up, giving you some time to slide the two pillows in.

“there we go.” with a small smile, you couldn’t resist but place another kiss against his forehead. it made him feel good, it was like all your gestures were doses of ibuprofen.

the coldness of the icepack had seeped into the towel. and you gently applied it to his left side, your eyes lifting to meet his face to watch for any indicators you might be hurting him.

“down or up?” you asked him, moving the ice pack up further. he hadn’t told you which ribs had been broken, after all.

“down, please.”

you hummed, moving it back down and letting it rest there.

“how do you know so much about this?” he asked. sure, an icepack was probably a no brainer but you seemed so sure of yourself by making him sit up more.

“google works wonders.” you shrugged alongside your answer. “i just figured some knowledge on the most common injuries would be good for me to learn since your job is pretty dangerous. call me psychic but i saw this in my future.”

some brief moments of quietness washed over afterwards, making him feel unsettled. were you angry because he had often kept his bedridden moments from you? he couldn’t tell.

“i’m sorry.” his apology hung in the room, every one of his nerves feeling on edge.

but it was your warm and gentle touch on his face that had him crawling out of his low self-worth and into reality. a reality where someone loved and cherished all parts of him from his darkest to brightest days. you.

“what are you sorry for?” your question was spoken through a whispered tone of voice. “you’re out here risking your life and saving people whose names you don’t even know, yet you’re apologizing?”

you kneeled down again so you could be closer to him, stroking the side of his face with your knuckles. “i wish you had told me, but i think i can understand why you didn’t. i don’t want you to feel like you have to hide this from me. you know i’m here for you.”

“i…i know.” he didn’t doubt how much you cared for him, but it was hard to feel like he deserved someone as great as you. what did he have to offer?

“c’mon, look at me.” you pleaded, having taken note of the way his pretty blue eyes hadn’t met yours even once.

he blinked, his eyes darting around a bit. he bit his bottom lip nervously before releasing it. it was only when he felt your hand slide down to hold his that he finally mustered the courage looked into your eyes.

he looked broken, but willing. a small glimmer in his eyes that begged for devotion and comfort, for his angel to continue guiding him even when he lost his path. to not be cast aside like he was replaceable. he couldn’t leave his job or the hell that was his life even if he wanted to, but you made life worth living.

you gave his hand a gentle squeeze. “i love you, leon. through sickness and health.”

you couldn’t suppress the desire to kiss him yet again, this time scattering them all over his face. your affection brought a surge of joy over him.

the wedding vow reference made him crack a grin. he chuckled a bit even though it caused his injured body discomfort. “i love you too.”

“did you think i wouldn’t help you?”

while you asked the question, your eyes skimmed over his body. his clothes were nipped at, the tears revealing some patches of his skin that had dried up blood or that were bruised. geez. you just wanted to cling to him, but you knew that would only strain him.

“i knew you would.” he began, watching as you stood up and disappeared back into the kitchen. he could hear the sink running. “i didn’t want you to spend your time looking after me, you have your own life to live. you shouldn’t have to babysit me.”

you came back with a wet towel, using it to clean up the dirt and blood on his arms, making sure to be gentle.

“babysit you? that’s not what it’s called, leon. i’m taking care of you, is all. i know you’d do the same and be even more stubborn about it.”

his eyes were trained on you, appreciating the concentration you held while cleaning him up. like a feather, your nimble fingers only left fleeting sensations against his skin. so delicately and tenderly, you treated him.

“yeah, i probably would. thank you.”

“don’t mention it.”

you spent the next twenty minutes disinfecting all his open injuries and putting gauzes over them, making some conversation but keeping it light since you needed to focus. there was more of a sparkle in his eyes than before, you had patched him up both physically and emotionally.

“how’re you feeling?”

“better. can’t say i’ll be able to walk properly tomorrow, though.”

“you need lots of rest to recover. you should sleep.”

and he was fucking tired, having stayed up all day. his body had been on fight-or-flight mode so many times that it had exhausted all his emergency energy. and initially he was sure his injuries wouldn’t let him rest, but you were here now, watching over him.

“yeah, i should.” he agreed with you. “will you…will you be here when i wake up?”

okay. you felt warm inside, he was opening up to you, allowing you to stay by his weakened side. “of course. and the day after tomorrow, and the day after that, and um, you get the point.”

you lifted a hand to rub at his temples, alleviating the headache he had. leon groaned contentedly, his long eyelashes fluttering as his eyes shut. he could feel some drowsiness kicking in already.

“i could get used to this.”

“mhm, just go to sleep.” you voice was getting quieter and quieter in his mind, when’s the last time he fell asleep this quickly? maybe when he was 20. last time he had a broken rib, he didn’t get a wink of sleep.

maybe life was constantly testing him, disrupting his peace at every turn, seeping into all the crooks and nannies. but he found his person, the one he wanted to spend the rest of his days with, the one who reminded him of how valuable his life and accomplishments were.

yeah, he could see his future, alright. one where he only picked up a bottle of beer during celebrations, one where he could be tangled up with you and be doted on without feeling guilt.

and it was sooner than later that those thoughts would be fulfilled.

[spinningwebsandtales]

Imagine Max Saving You From A Group Of War Boys

Max Rockatansky X FemReader

Rating: M

Warnings: Blood, mentions of death, rotting bodies, stealing, vehicle accident, suggestive materials (reader is worried she'll be placed in Immortan Joe's harem), injuries

Word Count: 2.1k

(A/N:) I have had a heck of a time getting this bad boy finished. But I couldn't have got it done in more perfect timing with the Furiosa movie out in theaters! I'm going very soon and hopefully there will be more Max inspiration take place cause I love Fury Road! I rewatched it here recently and my love for Max has been kindled once more! So hopefully this helps feed my fellow Mad Max fangirls! Enjoy and until next time happy reading! ~Countess

To survive in the wastelands you have to do anything and be willing to suffer any consequences. You could always lay over and just die, letting the vermin that scuttled about in the sands, take care of the remains. Or you could stand and fight, taking whatever you need no matter who it's from. That's how you've survived for so long, scavenging, taking from unlucky fellow survivors that just so happen to be in your path. Food, water, clothing, guzzolene, anything of value it was all fair game. Your biggest score, was your car. Though you didn't take it from anyone living. Raiders had come across some poor sap, killing him and taking everything of value, except for his car. It had taken some doing but you found the key buried under the sand close to the rotting body of the man who had just found himself in the wrong place at the wrong time. His loss became your gain. Now you could make it across in different areas of desert in less time. Though the need for guzzolene became a problem. So far you had had good luck being able to get it whenever you needed it. Though you knew for certain that eventually your luck would run out.

And run out it did. Unfortunately you had grown cocky with your string of wins. The tires of your car spun, throwing up clouds of sand as you tried to gain traction on the loose ground. You released the pedal, quickly shifting into all wheel drive. With a roar from the engine the car finally burst forward, pinning you back. The group of war boys behind you yelling as the chase was on. You hit the steering wheel cursing yourself for screwing up so severely, you'd be lucky to make it out alive. You had seen the war boys yards away and you knew they hauled all the equipment they needed, thanks to Immortan Joe. If you could score off of them, you'd be set for a month. But it hadn't been easy and though your skills was above average you didn't get to swipe one thing until they had swarmed you. Now you were trying everything to get away. Dodging lances and hooks that would kill you in an instant, you blinked back against the sand in your eyes. You hadn't had your car long enough to become an elite driver yet and they were gaining fast. Despair crushed your lungs as one war boy pulled up beside you. You darted away only to run into another war boy rig. The two drivers started to pull towards one another, pinning you in between them.

Your hands shook as you gripped the steering wheel harder. The war boys cackled and spit, toying with you before they ended you.

"Bring her to Immortan," they crowed. "Bring her to him! He'll take care of her!"

They all agreed and the two vehicles pulled away, leaving you free. With the pressure off the sides, your car slid fishtailing and you lost control instantly. The war boys only got louder as your car went airborne and crashed down on it's hood. Your face smashing against the steering wheel as your car began to roll over repeatedly. The last roll and you were ejected from the shattered windshield. The hot sand cushioned you, but it wasn't much as you skidded to a stop. Your chest wheezing as you tried to breathe. Your car destroyed and your life forfeit, any hope of living left you. The one thing that you wished to happen was the war boys finishing you here and now, you heard what Immortan Joe did to women he liked or wished to continue his line with. You blinked at the sand as several of the war boys raced towards you.

"Immortan Joe will be pleased with us," one sneered. "Steal from Immortan and pay the consequences."

You shook your head, trying to clear your sight. Apparently you had hit your head harder than you first realized as the illusion of a man walking towards you, refused to dissipate. No he only got closer and you surely knew the Grim Reaper was now on his way to bring about your end. You'd gladly take his hand if it meant that the suffering would end and you wouldn't have to face a fate worse than death.

"Eh what's that there?"

Okay maybe you weren't so crazy as the war boys were seeing the being too. His arm raised and gunfire had the war boys scattering while two of them fell beside you. A small flicker of hope kindled, unless you were trading an end brought by Immortan Joe's battle fodder for this stranger. Though if he wanted to end you, you were pretty positive that he would have ended you already. You were an easy target unlike the war boys that were scurrying around, trying their best to fight back. Screams and thuds surrounded you as the man only kept stepping forward. Not backing down or flinching at the bullets and explosions all coming towards him. When he was close enough for your hazy vision did you finally get a good look. With short hair and a stocky build, he was quite handsome for a desert dweller. Though he looked healthy it didn't mean that he had lived an easy life. A haunted look was in his eyes and his face would twitch every now again. Something was wrong with him, but beggars couldn't be choosers as he was saving your butt.

The last war boy fell to the sand, spraying blood from his wounds and you felt well enough to sit up. You whimpered at the pain shooting through your head but when the stranger knelt before you, you quickly bit back any more noises.

"Took a tumble," he mumbled.

"Just a little one," you agreed spitting a mouthful of blood out.

He rose back up looking through all the now abandoned vehicles and even searched through the wreckage of yours. You felt a little indignant as he took several items out of yours. Sure they were stolen goods, but you had pilfered them fair and square. You attempted getting up, your shaky legs barely keeping you up. Attempting a step, you stumbled and quickly caught yourself.

"That's my stuff in my car," you glared. Though you hoped that he would listen, there was no way you could fight him, if he wanted to.

He didn't reply just kept digging before he pulled out your worn pack. You protested loudly before he threw it at your feet. He still didn't say a word as he started searching through the war boy's vehicles and even going further and searching the war boy's pockets. When he decided that he had searched and grabbed everything of value, he handed you another bag and tank of guzzolene and jerked his head towards the direction that he had come from. You knew that if you wanted to survive the night you would need to follow him. He had proven himself trustworthy so far and your injuries were becoming worse, though your legs had finally steadied enough to walk.

On unsteady feet you remained close, the stranger not saying a word but waving at the air every little bit. Surely you didn't just survive the war boys only to be taken out by some mental man seeing ghosts? His car came into view, worn and beaten up, but sturdy and reliable looking. Tossing his gear in the back seat, he looked back and waved you forward.

"Why," you sighed, suddenly becoming dizzy. You wanted to ask why he rescued you? Why was he bringing you with him? But your adrenaline infused energy finally hit E and you collapsed to the ground.

"Don't go to sleep," he muttered suddenly at your side. Tapping at your cheek. "Wake up."

"Tired..."

He shook you harder, "Wake up."

You couldn't answer, losing the battle with the darkness overtaking your vision. And then you knew nothing else.

The rumbling of tires was all you could hear as you came in and out of consciousness. The sun was still so bright and the mystery man behind the wheel muttered to himself constantly. Promises dripping from his tongue and you licked your chapped lips before succumbing once more to the darkness.

You had no idea how much time had passed in your unconscious state, until at last your eyes opened and you were able to remain awake. A small fire crackling in the background provided a little bit of illumination in a small musty cave. Your body hurt and the ache in your head had your temples pounding a horrible drumbeat. Across the way your savior leaned up against the cave wall. His body lurched forward and his chest heaved as his eyes opened. You jerked, surprised by his sudden movement. He shook his head, rubbing at his eyes before his attention was drawn to you. He took a cup that sat by his leg and moved towards you.

"Drink," he muttered holding the dented tin cup to your lips. The water was warm and gritty from dirt but you didn't care as you gulped the entire contents down, but still your throat burned for more. Wordlessly he filled it back up and brought more of the precious resource to you.

"Why," you croaked when you finally had your fill.

He shrugged.

"There has to be a reason why you helped me?"

He shrugged again.

"Stubborn fool," you retorted. After a long, quiet, and awkward pause you finally spoke again, "Thank you."

This time he grunted.

Sitting up, it took a moment for the cave to stop spinning before you were able to see only one of him again. You scrounged around in your bag, searching for the bit of dried lizard you had kept. Finding it, you ripped it in half and offered him the larger piece. Sort of an offering of peace and that you could be a friend he could trust. He took it, before devouring it quickly.

"I wasn't going to take it from you," you laughed while ripping a bite off of yours. "Now that we have broke the proverbial bread, aka dried lizard maybe we can have an actual conversation now?"

Once again he shrugged and you really were fighting the urge to throw something at him.

"Gotta name at least," you asked, unwilling to give up. If he could be stubborn so could you.

He glanced around, his fingers tapping against the metal brace on his knee. Finally he sighed and turned dark eyes onto you.

"Max."

Finally a start. You gave him your name before sticking out your hand. Reluctantly he took it but he did shake your hand. Silence filled the cave again and you were beginning to feel exhausted again. You yawned gaining his attention.

"Get some rest," Max said his boots scuffing against the ground as he stood up. "We move in the morning."

Morning came so quickly, the fire had been doused and Max had packed up everything. The cave floor bare with no signs of someone staying there. You thought that you'd look around and he'd be gone, but his silhouette filled the cave entrance blocking out the majority of the harsh sun rays. Sitting up, you gained his attention and he nodded to his car.

"Can I ask why you're saving me now," you asked once in the passenger seat.

Max sighed, "Maybe I just want to redeem myself of all the times I failed."

His gaze towards you, looked sad, tired, and lost. Your heart broke and you could understand that ache buried within him. Why he seemed distant, but kind. This world had it's way of taking anything bright and lovely and tainting it in the worst way possible. Max started the engine and started to shift it into gear when your hand covered his.

"This world is ugly," your voice wavered causing Max to cock his head. "But that doesn't mean it has to make us ugly in the process. I've done things I regret, stealing, taking from others to survive. But I always want to reach out that helping hand when I can. Like you did for me. I owe you a lot now Max, maybe this was just a chance meeting or maybe it's meant for something more."

He nodded, shifting into gear and roaring off. The wheels churning dirt into a cloud. Honestly you both didn't know what was in store ahead, and it wasn't set in stone that you would remain with Max. But right now it felt right and you wanted to see where this path would take you. Maybe this was a chance of redemption for two hurt people to find their reason and place in a world gone mad.

[utdrmv-confession-box]

Transcript: I'd love love LOVE to see more "alternate timelines" or AUs for Underverse and Xtale instead of the same "Truce, Ink found and inspired XGaster, and things spiraled out of control leading to the XEvent" and "Cross is in the Nightmare Gang now and either finds a place to belong or is in for a hellish, awful time and runs away into Dream's arms" tales. I know those settings are good for sadboi Cross angst hours but if I wanted to read the same kind of origin stories for Cross and Xtale over and over again I'd just rewatch Underverse. It really feels like there isn't much variation done with Xtale and Cross. Why not make an AU where Dream or Core Frisk meets XGaster first and it still goes horribly wrong in a new way? Maybe Core Frisk tries to directly steer XGaster away from whatever bad path they see for him and they go to meet him before Ink could but it goes even worse for everyone even though Ink isn't involved. And Dream's positive aura is addicting, right? How would that affect XGaster, his motives, and his creations? Or how about an AU where Ink finds out what XGaster's been doing to his kids, reflects how his own dads could have mistreated/manipulated/weaponized him, and he gets the kids out of there with XGaster chasing them across the Multiverse? Maybe a No Truce AU where Error finds Xtale before Ink can and XFrisk or XChara is the sole survivor that Ink manages to save from Error. Or an AU where Xtale is at peace and Cross is restless and inspired to become a Star Sans along with Dream, Ink, and Swap so they travel and defend the Multiverse together. Or an AU where no one finds Xtale and the Multiverse is not involved at all but XChara and XFrisk somehow survive XGaster's death so they have to live in their isolated world alone for a while and, Idk, Cross is an imaginary friend of theirs that becomes real or something. Anything different than Xtale and Cross's canon backgrounds and Nightmare's Gang Cross. Dream and Nightmare have a bunch of different AU selves that go into what-if territory, why not Cross and Xtale? Be creative! (Feel free to use any of these ideas, by the way.)

[so-long-soldier-writes]

Survivors

theo raeken x reader

summary: people are being kidnapped and tested, and one day, you wake up with the startling realization that you're next. luckily, your captor releases you after something about you reminds him a little too much of himself.

tags: kidnapping, implied s3lf h4rm, implied child abuse, non-graphic

word count: 1.1k

a/n: i apologize in advance

also, i wrote this a month ago and haven't been able to title it! i've also had to rewatch parts of s5 bc i was so confused the first time around. this takes place before the chimeras start dying / when they're still being tested on and all that.

A dark cloth is pulled tightly around your head, and your hands are bound in rope. A metal pole supports your back, though it is uncomfortable between your shoulder blades. Two of your senses are rendered useless, forcing you to rely on the other three for support. Unfortunately, they aren't much help in a situation like this.

You sigh. There's no telling how long you've been here. You know you've faded in and out of consciousness three times now. This is the first time you've fully woken up and realized how endangered you actually are.

Even with the blindfold, you know you're in the dark. The hard and cold ground suggests a garage, storage building, or maybe even down in the tunnels, is where you're being kept. Who knows? A pill was forced down your throat the minute you were grabbed, your kidnapper rendering you completely unable to fight.

Speaking of which... Your kidnapper...

You wonder who they are. It's probably the doctors; they've been damning people for weeks now. Turning humans into creatures and throwing them back out into the world. Killing them if they're failures, but doing more tests if they seem to succeed.

Fear shoots down your spine as you realize you're next. You're captured, you must be their next test. You struggle against the ropes, but there's no give.

A heavy door is pushed to the side, and footsteps make their way towards you. You stop fighting immediately and prepare for the worst.

Someone crouches in front of you close enough that you can hear their breathing. They're calm in a way that horrifies you. They're not here to save you. No, no one knows you're here. No one is coming to save you.

You're startled by a gentle touch as two hands meet the sides of your head. Your blindfold is pulled down slowly, finally revealing the person on the other side. Their identity shocks you; a chill ices your body.

"You."

He sighs, glancing at the floor. "Sorry about this, Y/N. You're the one they wanted most."

"Really? And when'd you become their little errand boy, Theo? I thought you wanted Scott to trust you. Thought you wanted to be a part of his pack."

"it's all about survival, Y/N. There is a war, and I am loyal to whom I think will come out on top."

"You're wrong. The bad guys always lose, even if not in ways you'd expect. You will lose."

"Have that much faith in Scott, now do you? I don't see him coming to save you. You're all alone here. There's no getting out." You gulp visibly before you can stop yourself. "How's that for being the loser?"

"You're sick."

"Maybe. But at least I'm a realist."

You roll your eyes, looking away from him. Right now, his face is pissing you off just to see it. Two days ago, you'd admit you thought the little fucker was hot, but now, he's just a pain in your ass.

"Whatever," you snap, "have it your way. Just make it fast if you're going to kill me."

"Baby, if you've been following along, I'm not killing anyone. And the doctors aren't yet either. They're testing you all."

"For what? And don't 'baby' me."

He smiles. "To make the perfect monster. The best one for the cause."

"Which is?"

"Can't say."

"You're insufferable."

"And you're adorable when you're mad."

"Ugh!"

Theo takes a deep breath, then unties the cloth that was once around your eyes. He reaches around the side to undo the ropes, working at them for a good thirty seconds before unraveling the strongly-made knot.

"I do mean it when I say I'm sorry. Wish they picked anyone else, but they said you were special."

"I don't care, Theo. I already know this is the end for me. You're just drawing it out."

He slouches his shoulders before taking your wrists in his hands. He sits up on his knees, prepared to pull you up with him, but stops suddenly. Even in the darkness, the chimera can see the scars. Thin, white lines decorating the skin on your wrists. Some are more faded than others, but others look more recent. He stares at them for a moment, while you remain none the wiser, avoiding his gaze.

For a second, he's transported back to his childhood - kidnapped by the doctors at an early age, forced to undergo tests and experiments, and to live under their care. Forgotten by his family and haunted by his sister. The doctors didn't know how to raise a child, but they clearly didn't care. The torment he suffered still hurts every passing day, and even now, in Beacon Hills again, the pain hasn't ceased.

Theo bears plenty of scars of his own. Some are made by the doctors, some he brought on himself. It took him years to learn to not hate his body, to see the scars as a reminder that he's a survivor, not a failure.

His are littered around his body in places not well seen. The first time one of the doctors discovered them, he was punished accordingly. It's as if they're the only ones allowed to abuse him; how dare he bring it upon himself.

Theo looks at your scars and wonders what trauma is buried beneath them. What are you hiding? What emotional pain lies under the physical? Who knows your secrets, if anyone? It's none of his business, so he doesn't ask, but he closes his hands over your wrists and gulps.

"Run."

You look back at him, then at your clasped hands. "What?"

"Run. Run far from here and don't look back. Follow the pipes on the left side of the wall, and let them take you back above ground. Don't tell Scott anything I told you, it will only get you hurt. Just run, and don't let the doctors find you."

"Wait, why? I don't understand."

Theo pushes your hands into your chest and finally releases them. Fear floods through you as realization hits. He's seen you, seen your wrists, and your scars, and he's taking pity on you. But... he's letting you go.

"Just go, Y/N!" He yells in a whisper. "Go, before they come back. Any minute now, they're expecting you."

You scramble to your feet and look towards the pipes. The pipes on the left lead out, he said.

"But what about you?" You don't know why you ask. You don't know why you care. But, something deep inside you does.

"I'll be fine, I'll make up a lie. Just go!"

And so finally, you take off in the direction he points, still a little confused, but incredibly grateful.

Maybe there is some good in him. Maybe he's just as manipulated by the doctors as the rest of the chimeras. Maybe there's hope for him after all.

[theangelwithawand]

So, as much as I love charming, swaggering Han Solo, the guy is kind of awkward.

At first I thought it was an issue with his characterization in ROTJ where they made him a little too buffoonish for lack of a better word, and in Solo where they leaned a little bit too hard into Han being inexperienced and naive.

Don’t get me wrong, when it matters, the man is suave and dangerous and charismatic, and I love it.

But I was rewatching ANH the other day and I realized that at least when it comes to his personal relationships (except for Chewie) Han is kind of insecure and inept at forming meaningful relationships. To be fair, it makes sense given his backstory (in both Legends and Canon) and seedy profession. But legendary scoundrel Han is not at all slick when it comes to genuine interaction.

His initial introduction in the cantina as a ruthless survivor and his cocky dealings with Jabba tend to be the bulk of what people remember about his character, and for good reason. But there’s also captivating glimpses into a Han Solo who is more human than he probably wants anyone to see.

When Ben trains Luke, Han won’t stop insulting them both, but underneath all of the posturing, he does genuinely try to offer up real advice (that a good blaster is more reliable than an antiquated weapon). Then later, before abandoning Yavin, he doesn’t want to part on bad terms with Luke so, he chokes out a parting phrase that means something to Luke, tamping down his discomfort which is visible to the point that it’s kind of funny.

The first movie largely neglects his lack of social skills in regards to Leia (they do snap at each other, but that’s more to do with their clashing personalities than anything). He winks at her at the end, but Han is good at surface level flirting.

But then we get to Empire…strap in folks.

So, their first interaction takes place in the command center on Hoth, and Han is threatened to leave. And boy oh boy does Han really want/need Leia (and Leia in particular) to say she wants/needs him.

She has her own (very understandable) issues with opening up, so the closest she can get to admitting her own feelings is saying that the Alliance needs him. Leia may see herself as an extension of the Alliance, but that’s a different conversation and not enough for Han who needs to be sure of her feelings before making his own known. (Leia seems to have the same problem. They kinda suck at communicating sometimes.)

He asks her, very subtly pleads with her to open up, to reciprocate the bit of vulnerability he’s showing. She understandably doesn’t (again she has an unfathomable amount of her own trauma), cueing a fight at and Han goes back to the Falcon to be Totally-Not-Sad. Despite the fight though, he risks his life to make sure Leia gets out during the evacuation. (Gotta love how well he knows her.)

Then we get the big kiss scene. This time, Han has decided to acknowledge Leia’s insecurities because he wants to be with her. He specifically asks her “What are you afraid of?” Yeah, he’s kind of teasing her, but he knows Leia freakin Organa is not afraid of getting her hands dirty. It’s such a lame excuse, so he calls her out on it.

Then, all of the sudden, they’re finally together and Leia is just all in (see my post about Leia’s physically affectionate nature). And…Han adjusts. By the time they arrive on Bespin, he’s the one initiating hand holding, giving forehead kisses.

It’s a way more intimate than he would afford a casual hook-up. His scrapped intro in ANH (which was incorporated into the novelization by Alexandra Bracken), literally had him forget the name of the girl on his lap.

He’s still insecure when Lando starts flirting, but above all he’s in a relationship that is so casually affectionate. It’s a part of him we’ve never seen, but it suits him well.

Then we get to the big “I love you/ I know”.

In the original script, Han was supposed to say “I love you too.” Everyone thought it was a very out of character thing for him to say. The now iconic response was created during the shooting of that scene. I agree…to a point.

Now, I love the line. It’s iconic and great and very Han Solo. Yes it’s a smooth response…but it’s also…a really weird response…

Yeah, there’s a lot of people and to be fair, he just told Chewie to take care of Leia (which is very sweet), and once again probably still has some issues expressing vulnerability.

But…he also might die, so it’s weird that he wouldn’t tell her while he still can.

The pattern continues in ROTJ. Han is a bit out of character in this one, however I do like the moment where he’s referred to as a general. It’s usually read as him proving his commitment, and I agree. But I still think it’s funny that he decided to make it a surprise. It’s so cute and weird and very Han Solo.

He’s protective when Leia goes missing after the bike chase, and when they’re reunited picks her up and spins her adorably.

He’s still not super sure how to provide comfort all of the time (there’s a few times where Leia seeks his embrace, and he seems visibly unsure of what he’s doing). During the battle he’s always reaching out to shield her, hide her when she’s injured. Then he just holds her after the battle. The way she asked him to earlier, with a small but very genuine smile.

Finally, we arrive at “The Princess and the Scoundrel” where Han Solo does the GFFA equivalent of proposing on the first date. (For real, this book is one my favorite things. It canonized so many of my head canons like a very casual proposal). It’s perfect for its balance of being both weird and romantic.

Anyway, I like Han’s soft side and I don’t see it discussed enough.

[andiwriteordie]

i don’t know why i have to say this, but here is a friendly reminder that there is a way to write will byers and continue to make him will byers—the gentle, soft-hearted, shyer, more sensitive soul—whom we have seen over the past 4 season of stranger things while also allowing and giving him the opportunity to showcase his strength and his bravery and his courage.

will with powers, will with a gun, will standing up for himself, will facing his abuser—none of those things are necessarily going to change who will byers is at his core. perhaps he’ll become a bit more hardened (as i expect all of them will in s5 as they’re put in higher stakes than ever before), but what makes will such a beautiful character is that he has experienced so much trauma and pain and yet even still remains a sensitive, kind, and caring human being. that’s what makes will special and places him in a good position to be a central character of s5.

that said, if you believe that will having these opportunities to break outside the mold of what a conventionally sensitive and softer character would look like is going to fundamentally change who he is as a person and as a character presented to us, then um. i invite you to rewatch stranger things. because god knows this show has been all about subverting tropes from the very beginning and turning things upside down, so you’re telling me they wouldn’t give the abuse survivor, the underdog, the one who’s been underestimated the entire goddamn time the opportunity to be the hero, to save the day, and yes, to confront his abuser and be the one who ends all of this for his friends, his family, and for himself?

*shrug* idk, maybe that’s just me.

[thealogie]

I realized recently that I really went from 'Good Omens ending well is central to my happiness' to actually hoping season 3 gets cancelled for real.

I toyed with 'Gaiman gets removed and everything can proceed as is' for a while, despite feeling guilty about the victims of his fuckery, knowing deep down that I prioritize my personal fictional safe place for selfish reasons and actually trying not to think about it too much. But recently I thought about it, and found out that in the meanwhile my feelings have turned to the extent that I actually really don't want season 3 to be made. There is just no way for it to still be as fun and as much of a 'safe place' for me as it used to be. Even if it's written brilliantly for a change (from season 2).

There's no way anyone can come out of it looking good, neither the actors, nor potential directors/showrunners, nor Pratchett's estate, nor fans etc. There's always going to be this elephant in the room. I prefer still enjoying the Tennant/Sheen duo in possible future roles with unblemished conscience and with that sense of pure fun that they're so good at inducing in me with their chemistry. I think I won't be able to do it with an easy heart if they do season 3 and get tainted by this shit. It just won't be the same on all accounts. I will always love these characters and I absolutely will rewatch the existing series (I see calls to forget it ever existed, or you're a Gaiman supporter), but I want it to not continue anymore.

I'm writing it as an account from a not very principled person who organically came to wanting their favorite show cancelled, for real, without putting a moral lid on my dearest wishes, somehow. My honest wish is for GO to get cancelled and everyone going on the merry ways.

I feel similarly! My feelings flipped pretty much like a switch but I appreciate the honesty and think it’s important to acknowledge the messy feelings that come when you have concern for real world harm but also deeply care/cared about something. I don’t think I can ever not care about those characters if im being honest but that feeling is so separate and outweighed by wanting justice for the real life survivors.

[qianqiancandyjar]

Ninjavember 2023!

Here's completed version with a bunch of explaining below each picture! Just scroll down if you don't want to see me blabbering. (I tried to go short as much as possible)

(I have a lot of AUs and headcanons that only exist in my head and my sketchbooks. Forgive me for wanting to spill them out.)

Day 2: Randy was listening to music with earphones so he didn't know Theresa was sitting next to him. Imagine how embarrassed he would get when he knows.

Day 8: Tech-Ninja AU. It's about machinist Randy being set up by Mcfist for murdering the town hero Ninja with his invention, the Tech-Ninja armor. Then the spirit of the destroyed Nomicon travelled to his armor and become an AI, choosing him to be the next Ninja. So Randy accepted it and was determined to make up for what he caused, when nobody except Howard, the boss of Weinerman industries, trusted him.

Day 10: Apocalypse AU. It's about Randy lost the battle at the end of season 2 and became the prisoner of the Sorcerer. The Nomicon was handed to Howard before that, and they later recruited survivors to form a resistance against the Sorcerer. Then Randy was stanked, but instead of turning into a monster, he was brainwashed and given the power of creating his own red and black stank. And- You know what will happen. (Inspired by the Darkness of Randy Cunningham)

Day 13: Elemental trial AU. You can say it's my take on what will happen in season 3. The Carp god was under the cover of a random carpfish as Norisville mascot. After a series of events it was awaken and gave Randy the power of Ice Rage.

Day 14: I think there's more than just the blood of First Ninja's brothers, since nobody knows how to destank people at the beginning...

Day 17: The Warrior might have been living or sleeping there, waiting for some ninjas to wake him up or consult him about his forbidden arts. (Ha, It's kinda like Eclipsa in Star vs. the forces of Evil)

Day 18: Or it can be called the New Generation AU. In the future, Randy took the place of Messager as well as the Ninja Guardian, while Brent became the new Sword Smith and Sorceress became their main villain. I am not really good at designing OCs so there's no next ninja yet.

However, I read a fanfic of another fandom in the form of CYOA, and it gave me new idea: just let the reader be the next ninja, it will be fun, too. (Also, this AU was inspired by an RC9GN fanfic titled from the past to the future, where future Randy became Ninja Guardian. But I couldn't find it on fanfiction.net any more. Has anyone read it? I didn't dream about it, right?)

Day 19: During that time I got even crazier after I read Enter the Nomicon. It's hard to believe I had a crazy period of shipping Randicon, even for myself. Especially weird for me since I now have a completely different view about Nomicon (peek at my Yokai Ninja AU comics). Time really can change a person, wow.

Day 21: Yes, a whole page just for this headcanon. I used the screenshots in the show because it's too hard to draw. The barrier thing is kinda like the one that held Bill's power in the range of Gravity Falls.

Day 23: Danny: the Walking Air-Conditioner. Inspired by a chapter of Secret Quartet. Danny phased his hand through the scarf. Just imagine your friend put a cold hand inside your scarf in winter. *shiver*

Day 25: Besides Ninja vine ball, there are also spike ball, gas ball, sonic ball, rainbow illusion ball, tear ball and so on. I just pick the most common one from my ninja balls headcanons to put in here.

Day 27: You may see I prefer using numbers to refer episodes, because that's how I track and rewatch them. To be more specific, I list some keywords here: NomiRandy, First Ninja, Debbie, Tengu. As fellow RC9GN Fans I'm sure you get it.

Day 30: It's a half-baked AU thing. The flowers I tried to draw are rosemary?

Wow! I actually finished all the prompts! Thank you for holding the big event! @evilspiritweek

(I don't mind sharing more details about my AUs or headcanons. *wink*)

[igotsnothing]

TAG GAME

I was tagged by @chaoticpixls, a fabulous and discerning moot who I discovered shares a passion for BOOKSESSES! We like several of the same authors and books.

Last song I listened to:

Favorite place: I'm a city person. Even in game, San Myshuno is one of my favorite worlds. I love big cities.

Favorite book(s):

That's so hard because I feel there are books that will be more meaningful depending on my mood/life circumstance. I'll share here some recent faves.

The Lights of Prague-Nicole Jarvis- It's such an interesting story about an aristocratic vampiress (NO, REALLY?? ME??) and a working-class vampire hunter and this underground world in Prague. It's got magic and science and politics and secret societies and intrigue and shady pasts....So fun. I keep hoping for a sequel.

House of Hunger- Alexis Henderson- Okay, okay- so this poor girl with a guilty conscience agrees to become an indentured servant of sorts to a vampiress' household. The power dynamics in this novel are super intriguing as well as the emotional developments. It reminded me a bit of Bluebeard-type stories. Really well written.

Certain Dark Things- Silvia Moreno-Garcia- This is one of my favorite authors. I love everything she's written. And this novel is abouuuut...*drumroll* A VAMPIRE (gasp). But it's a different take from the Dracula-esque vampires of Victorian gothic. This is a vampire of Mexican roots- Aztec, more specifically. Atl is the survivor of some vampiric cartel violence and she hides out in Mexico City, where she befriends Domingo, a lonely young man. It's such a cool, original take on a genre that can be very overdone. The writing is gorgeous- the story stays with you long after reading it.

The Daevabad Trilogy- S.A. Chakraborty- OMG, I inhaled this. I fell in love with the world building, with the protagonists, with the magic system...It's so beautiful and touching and epic. No vampires.

Deathless- Catherynne M. Valente- A retelling of Koshei the Deathless fairytale in the backdrop of Russia during the revolution and the rise of the Soviet Union- told mostly through Marya's eyes. It is just stunning and powerful.

Currently reading:

A Marvellous Light- Freya Marske

Thunderstruck- Erik Larson

Favorite TV Show: I watch very little TV. Recently rewatched the Devil May Cry anime and some documentaries.

Favorite Food: NoOdLeS!

Who am I tagging? I am tagging some interesting folks I am betting will have good recommendations: @lynzishell, @crabbeychick, @queeniecook, @eljeebee, @sirianasims, and last and never least, @greighish (I do this in spirit- I know you are busy and on hiatus, BUT HOPE IS EVERGREEN!)

[misscinnamonroll16]

The bad guys headcanons bc I recently rewatched the movie and now I got headcanons

Wolf and Snake became friends around middle school age.

Piranha is fluent in Spanish (his second language) and every so often he gets so worked up he just starts yelling in Spanish. Only Webs and/or Wolf can understand him

Webs is nonbinary, using she/they pronouns

Webs is a lesbian

Wolf's parents abandoned(accidentally) him but he has a fuck ton of siblings he just doesn't know about

They take turns cooking every so often. Most of the time they just steal the food they want but sometimes a good home cooked meal hits the spot

Wolf sheds everywhere

Shark loses teeth sometimes and just throws them out. Piranha gets them back out to either turn into a makeshift weapon or sells them.

Snake gives the best hugs if you're looking for a tight squeeze

They stop at every taco truck they see because Piranha wants to try it.

Shark and Piranha are both really good swimmers

Piranha bites to show affection sometimes

Piranha sings in the shower. So does Shark too but his singing isn't as good

Webs actually hates Halloween. If they put up decorations, she's in charge of the spiderwebs so they "don't look cheap and tacky"

Wolf has great hearing and a sense of smell. They once got him to track someone

When Snake sheds, he leaves it lying around to scare the others.

They REFUSE to steal from family owned businesses, always tip and make sure to never forget anyone (hakuna matata or whatever).

Wolf's coat changes color with the seasons, gets lighter in the winter and fall. Made Shark and Piranha think he was getting old because it started going white ish

Shark constantly goes to costume stores and actually buys the costumes he wants. All the staff know him and know who he is. Only people who can look through his disguises.

Webs' mother left before she was born (also has a lot of siblings but they've lost contact)

Snake's clutch of eggs was attacked and he was the only survivor (finding Nemo situation). As he grew older, his parents more distant.

Piranha got separated from his family, but he's confident that he'll see them again

Shark is the only one who's close with his family. He goes and sees them every so often but it's a long trip to get to the ocean

Wolf growls and snarls but doesn't bark. Only time he does is in his sleep, that soft yippy bark that dogs do in their sleep. Freaked the others out at first

Webs is the youngest

Snake is the oldest

Webs is always in charge of the music.

Wolf kept that cat, it's still his cat. It just stays at Diana's place

Snake has no venom but claims to to scare people

Once in a blue moon, a child tries to pet Wolf.

Wolf sleeps with a crap ton of pillows to stimulate sleeping with a pack

Snake has a heat lamp but sometimes he'll just go crawl in with Wolf (who won't even notice him)

Webs spun themselves a hammock that they sleep in over her desk.

Piranha sleeps with something he can chew on bc he tends to dream he's chewing on something and he'll go and find something to bite. Once bit Wolf and Snake on two different occasions

[redhairedwolfwitch]

Baby Shepherd - Part 7 - Jo Wilson x Shepherd!Sister!Reader

Summary: All of your siblings have children, now that Amelia and Link have Scout. After Jo spends some time with a baby left at Station 19, the two of you begin to think about adoption. Then patient Val Ashton is admitted with an abdominal pregnancy.

A/n: yes it took me over a year but I rewatched season 17 of Grey's Anatomy, cried a lot, and finished this.

"Hey, heard you caught an interesting case... well, a non-COVID case anyway."

Jo gave you a weak smile, thinking for a moment before she decided something.

"Come with me."

///

"This is Luna... she was growing on her mom's liver. Her mom is the patient you heard about." Jo explained, smiling softly as your eyes widened.

"She's so small... but she's a survivor." You stated, pausing as you realised.

"She can't see her mother, can she?" You already knew the answer, but you asked anyway, seeing how sad Jo looked.

"Val really wants to see her too."

"I'm going to go see Val..." You concluded, heading out of the NICU and across the hospital.

///

Everything had gone so quickly. One moment, your wife was trying to take Luna to see her mother before her surgery, and then, Luna's mother had coded. Jo ran the code for an hour, but you both knew she was gone. Val died never knowing her baby, never getting to hold her, or comfort her over more than a video call.

Luna's surgery went well, she was strong, but now she had lost her mother, and her father signed away his parental rights almost immediately. Jo had told you what he had texted to Val, a good luck and a baby emoji.

"She deserves parents who love her. Val loved her, even if her father didn't care that she existed... it sucks, when parents who love us get taken away so early..." you trailed off, the memories of your own father, or lack thereof, since he had died such a long time ago.

///

"Would you be mad at me if I quit surgery... and became an OB/GYN resident instead?" Jo enquired, rolling over in bed to face you, nuzzling into your bare shoulder.

"Well, it's not like Grey Sloan has a rubbish OB/GYN program, you'd get to work with Carina DeLuca... and you'd get to work with Addison, since I'm trying to persuade her to visit post-pandemic, if we ever get there. Plus, I think the residents were getting confused with the amount of Shepherds on the OR board... it wasn't as bad when Derek was here, since it was him and Amelia in neuro, and I was cardio. But now it's cardio, neuro and general surgery... now OB/GYN... like Nancy..."

Jo was silent for a moment as you trailed off, letting out a quiet hum before you spoke again.

"Yeah, Carina and Addison first, I think Nancy and Kathleen are still in shock over our wedding."

"Probably shocked to see you happy... but I love happy on you." Jo replied, grinning as you quickly leaned your head over to kiss her nose.

"I love how happy looks on you too... we're going to be okay. Even when everything sucks, you've got me, and you will always have me." Comforting your wife, you brought her hand up to your mouth to kiss, before she shifted so she could lean over and kiss you properly.

///

"DeLuca deserves a proper funeral. Not a memorial in a car park." Jo murmured, feeling you squeeze her hand as the two of you stood together, leaning into each other and trying to fight back tears as you listened to Andrew's residency application video. How he grew up stealing his older sister's game of Operation.

You were quiet during the drive back from the memorial, confusing your wife for a moment before you finally broke the silence.

"Can we- um... I want a game of Operation, at our place. For any children, doesn't have to be ours, since all my siblings have children... there's even one trying with medical school at the moment but, I-"

"Yes. I will order a game of Operation when we get home." Jo nodded, needing the joy and understanding where you were coming from immediately.

///

"How's Luna doing?" You enquired as Jo walked into the ER, making a beeline towards you as you waited for the incoming patient you were paged down to the ER for.

"She is a genius! She reacts to her name, even though Hayes doesn't seem to think so..." Jo replied, grinning at the thought of Luna, which made you smile in response.

"I'll go up to see her later- the traumas are here!"

///

"Hello, my darling wife, hello, Luna! How are we doing today?" Jo cheered, despite the fact that she was carrying OB/GYN textbooks in her arms, the scene of you stood with Luna in the NICU brightening her day.

"Well, Doctor Shepherd, Luna seems to be doing well according to Hayes, but Luna and I were having a nice chat about animals. I think she reacted when I talked about a giraffe!" you paused to glance down at Luna with a soft smile, "you talk to Bailey yet about OB?"

"Not yet. I know Webber gave me everything to say but... what do you want to watch for movie night tonight?" Jo chewed her lip, her gaze fully on Luna as you hummed.

"Madagascar?"

///

"So, Jo's changing from surgery to OB, hoping you could give her some tips, with your extensive extraordinary qualifications... we're... we're doing okay? Does Henry know how to play Operation?" you were sat by the window, looking out onto a world void of people until hands wrapped around your waist. Your wife's chin resting on your shoulder as you talked with Addison.

"Is that Addison? Can you ask her if I can ask her questions? Carina's going back to Italy for a month... she's getting married though so she's coming back!"

///

"Your mum was Val. We loved Val. You are Luna, and you have a family here. Every time I step into an OR, I think about your mum, and you, and my wife. My wife thinks about you too. Every movie night for a while now, there has been a giraffe. One day you'll get to watch those movies, Luna, I know it."

You smiled as you stood in the NICU doorway, listening to Jo talk to Luna, who smiled as she spoke to the baby girl.

///

Jo was much more tense after she met Luna's legal guardian assigned from CPS, then every time since seeing Carmen Delgato with Luna as each week went. As Hayes put it, social worker, not a parent.

"She deserves parents who love her, not a social worker who sees her as a box to tick on a list." You whispered, having snuck into the NICU to check up on Luna, not realising that Hayes had overheard.

"I'm surprised you two Shepherd haven't put the paperwork through to become her legal parents yet."

"My wife told me about how the social worker wasn't allowing that operation... we're working on it, had to get Jo's background check cleared, and they started looking at my family too. My dad was murdered before I was born, it traumatised my family... they're being thorough." You shrugged off the look on Hayes' face, keeping your gaze on Luna instead.

"All my siblings have children, Jo and I only really started thinking about children after Jo attached to this baby left at Station 19, but it was during DeLuca's memorial that I realised... anyway, we're fighting for Luna, and... we were going to move after the wedding but the pandemic... anyway, we're also looking at moving. Jo wanted to try get Link to foster until we can get the legal stuff sorted, but it's moving faster with both of us than it would if it was just Jo alone trying to get parental rights." You explained, letting out a sigh as Hayes nodded.

///

"Have you spoken to your sisters or your mother about Luna?"

"Nancy will probably try analyse her case, Kathleen will say we're not ready, Liz will be supportive, Amelia is struggling with Link and Scout. She adores them both but she's struggling. Addison is struggling with the pandemic because Jake just works on model trains, and Henry plays videogames at every waking hour. My mother... I think she was concerned at first but I think she worries we'll struggle without help... but there's a vaccine, and we're doctors who understand how to take care of Luna's needs. Besides, my sisters can get their updates from the rare Instagram photo of Luna's hand or foot or something... Luna's our daughter, I'm not listening to them talk about a baby negatively."

///

"Y/n! You're Amelia's sister! Do you know what ring she'd like?" Jo summoned you into a patient room where Luna was staying, revealing Link and three engagement rings.

"Uh... um... right, engagement ring for Amelia... why did you get three? You kept receipts right? You don't need three of them!" you pointed out, leaving Link to nod, closing the boxes and hurrying out after asking the two of you to wish him luck.

"Jo... I don't think Amelia will say yes."

"Oh poop! Merry Christmas everyone..." Jo murmured, her eyes full of panic as you sighed, nodding nervously.

///

You smiled as Jo paced around on the phone, thanking whoever was on the line informing you that the adoption of Luna had been approved.

"She tell you she sold her hospital shares yet?" You enquired, leaving Bailey to pause.

"What's with that face? Bad price?"

"I still have my shares but... it's more the person my wife sold her shares to..." You trailed off, smiling at how you referred to Jo as your wife, and accepting the kiss that Jo gave you as she sat on the picnic bench with you and Bailey.

"Maybe I should just let the person who bought them tell you..." Jo paused, turning the phone around as it began to ring with a video call.

"Miranda! Did you hear the good news?"

Bailey's face fell as Tom Koracick was revealed to now have shares in the ownership of Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital.

"Shepherd. Tell me you didn't. I offered you both character references!" Bailey hissed, whilst Jo hurriedly hung up the call, and the two of you hurried away as Bailey glared.

///

"Welcome home... welcome home Luna, and my darling wife!" Jo smiled, looking around the apartment that was once Jackson's, but the two of you had purchased from him for your family to grow up in.

"I found the Operation game!" You declared with a grin, revealing the box as Jo rolled her eyes playfully.

"I thought you were looking for cutlery!"

///

Tags: @nnightskiess @multifandomlesbianic @emskisworld @afuckingshituniverse

[bionicle-ramblings]

I mean this in the most inoffensive way possible, and this is purely my interpretation, looking back now that I've caught up more on the lore and read up on on the books and rewatched the movies:

Vakama is a very anxiety coded character

My evidence is more interpretation that anything else, but let me explain:

We all know how Vakama's story starts: he's an esteemed mask-maker in Ta-Metru, good enough to surpass his teacher and have the Turaga choose him to make the most powerful Kanohi mask of all time(pun intended), he's got friends he enjoys his time with, he has a good thing going for him, even if his city is overrun with Vahki that will attack on sight, there's a homicidal plant that's trying to kill everyone, and Ta-Metru isn't the most livable place to be, all things considered, but Vakama is at his most stable as a Matoran.

I don't have a lot of or any background on his Matoran life to really point out anything that comes across as anxiety, but I will say that Lhikan giving him the Toa stone and Lhikan's capture gave Vakama some kind of survivor's guilt, seeing as how Nidhiki literally threatened to burn Vakama alive if Lhikan didn't hand himself over.

Where we loop back to anxiety territory is the visions Vakama has, or rather what the visions could represent. Anxiety is often referred to as "being afraid of the future," and the future is something Vakama sees due to his visions. The closest I can think of that can be a real life interpretation of the visions(what it could be IRL) are panic attacks or anxiety attacks, nothing severe, but big enough that almost everyone who sees it chalks it up to, "being cross-wired."

Some other things that come off as anxiety coding are when Vakama still makes the Mask of Time, despite still being a Toa, when Vakama tries to feign confidence and gets irritable when he's trying to rescue the rest of the Matoran and is trying to do it as fast as possible, even snapping at and lashing out at his friends. Granted the latter, getting haughty and trying to get the job done quickly, seems to be more the result of Vakama internalizing Lhikan's sacrifice and last words, doing so in a, "he said he was proud to call me his brother, so now I have to keep him proud, even if he's not here to say it," which is a line of thinking that could bring us back to anxiety

In terms of how making the Mask of Time can be seen as something to do with anxiety, this requires a bit of a personal lense to view:

Have you ever been at a point where a big event or thing is coming up and to keep yourself from focusing on it, you try to focus on something else? For instance, if you were stressing about a new semester of school starting or a job interview or a test, have you ever tried to take the focus off of it by doing something like cooking a meal or writing ina journal or drawing? Just a small thing you're used to doing that both challenges you, but is relatively stress-free?

I imagine Vakama is doing mostly the same thing. With no sugar-coating at all, he's stressed the hell out about being a Toa and cannot really express that or back out because he was chosen, so he resorts to making the Kanohi Vahi; he's a skilled mask-maker and his job was to make masks, which he was very successful in. I also imagine it's a bit of a bargaining thing for him, like a sort of, "If I can succeed in making this, I can succeed going forward," thing.

There are smaller things that are also possible pointers or shows of Vakama's implied anxiety, namely how he chooses a weapon most familiar to him from his time as a Matoran(the disk launcher), how his mask power is invisibility, which I've personally felt sometimes when I was having anxiety moments("I don't want to be here right now, I don't want anyone to see me"), and just how quiet Vakama is in general, being someone who possibly wouldn't be noticed as much if he weren't the main protagonist in LoMN; I'm pretty sure if it was Matau or Onewa we were dollowing, Vakama would be an intriguing background character similar to Nuju, only slightly louder, so to speak

This was just a random thought I had, and most of it is just what I interpret, and sorry if it doesn't make a lot of sense😅

[thegoldheartlocketandkey-blog]

911 Spoilers Season 4: You��ve been warned. 😅 Buddie Rewatch

Episode 14: Survivors (Part 2)

Construction Emergency; Buck is near Bobby as they get the summary of what happened.

As the Manager walks the 118 over to the cameras, Buck stays behind looking up at the structure.

Hen, Chimney, and Bobby are looking at the injured man, trying to come up with a game plan on how they are going to rescue this man. The officer with them mentioning, if they climb up, they’ll have no way of protecting them.

As they are discussing possibilities and having limited time, Buck is climbing the structure, with gear. Bobby calls him over the radio, telling him he didn’t have clearance and there is no way of protecting him.

Buck responds back with he needs to do this and continues to climb up. Hen and Chim aren’t necessarily surprised that he pulled this stunt.

As Buck is climbing, he’s looking at his surroundings. Hen and Chim are instructing him on what he’s going to need to do when he gets to the victim.

Buck pauses, he notices a glare from one of the windows high up in the air. He continues to climb up despite this. Bobby is looking up, worried and annoyed at Bucks actions.

Buck steps on to the ledge, maneuvering his way towards the victim.  He places the tourniquet on the victim. Once it’s placed and he received the all clear from Bobby, he cuts the wire causing the beams to fall onto a truck.

Buck finishes wrapping up the victim and brings him down by air lift. The construction workers thank the 118. Hen redirects them to thank Buck, “the crazy guy”.  Bobby looks at Buck with disappointment, Buck knows he’s in trouble.

Bobby is cooking, when Buck approaches him and asks if he’s ever going to speak to him. Bobby is angry, he asks Buck what he wants to hear.

Buck says the usual stuff, like what where you thinking, you could have gotten your self killed. Bobby says he doesn’t need to have the conversation, because Buck already knows it.

Bobby states, “You went full Buck”. Buck walks up closer to Bobby asking for clarification, because he said it as if that’s suppose to be a bad thing.

Bobby expresses that he views Buck as the guy that doesn’t think before he asks, and how he has learned to just accept that.

He also notes that his impulsiveness usually comes from a good place, but that stunt he pulled was not from a good place.

Bobby recognizes that Buck had made himself a target. Buck doesn’t deny that fact, he embraces it.

He states it’s because he wasn’t going to see anyone else take that risk. He cannot handle anyone else getting hurt right now.

Bobby tries to reassure Buck, that Eddie’s shooting wasn’t his fault. Buck tells Bobby that he knows that, but he was the person standing there as it happened and could do anything to protect him.

Buck was able to protect the rest of his team today, he saw the moment and he took it. Bobby turns back to start cutting veggies, but before he does, he tells Buck that they are a team, they are there to protect each other, and to not do it again.  Buck slowly walks away.

Taylor is at Buck’s apartment. She’s drinking wine as Buck is explaining what happened at work, and not liking Bobby’s reaction.

Taylor vocalizing that she was also not a fan of his stunt, and how there are multiple videos online about his climb up the crane.

I wonder if anyone ever told Eddie about Buck’s viral stunt. Did he ever find out about on his own or is he completely unaware of this. I want to believe Buck told him about it, but given that Buck did it as a self-sacrifice, maybe not. Something to think about.

Buck is trying to make light of the situation, giving slick remarks to concerns Taylor brings up. Buck teases that Taylor cares about him.

After Taylor mentions he could have died (well it’s implied), he responds with “But I didn’t” Taylor walk up to him, pulling him into a passionate kiss, she’s holding his face. He leans into the kiss and kisses her back.

When they pull apart from the kiss, Buck’s eyes remain closed for a few seconds, he smiles. Taylor is the one to pull away and apologize.  She puts some distance between them.

Buck is confused, looks over at her. She admits to not knowing why she did that, blaming it partially on the wine. Buck offers to talk about it. She walks straight to the door, she turns around and states she has to go.

Buck looks hurt, he hesitates slightly, Taylor takes the moment to walk out. As Buck is about to tell her to wait, his phone rings, it’s Ana. He lets Taylor walk out and answers the phone and asks if everything is okay.

Buck is in the hospital, he’s running towards Eddies room. He pauses at the door way. Ana is in front of Eddies bed, she looks back smiling at Buck, and moves out of the way to an awake Eddie laying in bed.

Eddie is looking over at Buck, does a slight nod of his head and says “Hey Buck” in a soft-spoken voice.  Buck exhales and laughs a little, and says “Hey”

Two things. The first is about a post I saw a long time ago where someone pointed out that Eddie most likely woke up when Taylor kissed Buck. Implying Eddie felt a disturbance and knew he had to wake up. And second, the first time they see each other is so timid and sweet.

Chris is video calling Eddie. Chris says he misses him, and Eddie says it back. Eddie is soft spoken, obviously tired, as he tells Chris that he’ll be home soon.

Carla cutting in to tell Eddie to focus on healing first, that he has nothing to worry about, that Buck and her are taking care of it.

Chris is giggling as they say their good byes/I love yous. Chris closes his laptop and Eddie hands Buck his phone back.

Buck is sitting next to Eddies bedside. Eddie thanks Buck for staying with Chris.

Buck explains that Carla had offered to bring him to her house, but how he wanted Chris to be comfortable in his own house. That the situation was already overwhelming and he didn’t want to add to that.

Eddie asks if Chris is doing okay. Buck answers truthfully, that Chris is doing better that he is.

Buck admits to losing it when he told Chris his dad was shot. He apologizes for breaking down in front of his son, how he should have kept it together.

Eddie responds with, “You where there for him when I couldn’t be.” (You stepped up like a parent)

Buck admitting to thinking it would have been better for Chris if he was the one to get shot. Eddie is confused by the comment and just looks over at him.

They caught the shooter, not really; The 118 show up to a burning building, no longer being followed by swat, they believe there is only one victim.

Buck and Ravi are hooking up the hoses to the hydrants, tackling the fire from the outside. As Buck grabs the hose, Ravi mentions no longer needing bullet proof vests, Buck vocalizing how he won’t miss them.

The 118 is told over the radio to evacuate, orders given by the LAPD. Bobby find what he believes is the victim, but turns out to be a trap. Bobby is shot in the leg.

Hen and Chim have evacuated the building, Bobby hasn’t responded over the radio. Athena approaches them, Buck joining, Athena reveals the victim is actually the shooter.

Athena asks if they have any idea of where Bobby could be, Buck mentions that he could it out when he found the guy. He’d be on the 3rd floor.

Athena asks Buck if he can get her in there. Buck starts to protest, but Athena cuts him off. Bobby will die in there if she doesn’t act fast.

I love how Athena knew she had to rope in Buck to help her break protocol and get her husband into safety.

Hen walks over and hears Athena pleading. Athena states, “ to get my husband”. She looks over at Buck who nods his head.

Buck tells Hen that it’s going to be easy and gives a break down about how Athena will get to Bobby. Buck and Ravi are guiding Athena up the ladder, towards the burning building. They hop on top of the roof.

On the roof, Hen also climbed up on the roof.  They dress Athena in the firefighter uniform, Buck tells her that he’s going in too. Athena immediately telling him no, because she can’t protect him.

Specifying that the shooter is targeting firefighters.

Buck points out that she is dressed like one. She points out that she has a gun.

Shooter is dead. Bobby is saved.

Buck is at his apartment. Taylor knocks on his door. He’s surprised to see her. Taylor admits to running away, but brings up that he didn’t run after her.

Buck vocalizes that he spent along time not feeling like he was enough. He doesn’t want to do that anymore. So he puts his cards on the table and basically tells Taylor, that if she wants him it is up to her.

Taylor gets closer to Buck, wrapping around her arms around his neck and pulling him down for a kiss as she says “I do. I really do.”

Eddie is sitting up on his hospital bed. His arm in a sling and he’s lost in thought. Buck walks in telling Eddie that the nurse is getting his medication and discharge paperwork ready.

Buck is obviously there to take him home.

Eddie wants to address something, Buck is concerned, asks if everything is alright. Eddie tells him everything is fine, that he’s just been meaning to tell him something.

The first time I watched this, I thought Eddie was going to confess his feelings. Ana wasn’t in the room with them, so in the few moments before Eddie started elaborating, I thought he was going to admit to breaking up with Ana and being in love with Buck.

I actually told myself that it’s going to be awkward when Buck reveals he’s dating Taylor. I wish I was joking, but this was my actual thought process when I watched the first time.

Buck sits down on the hospital bed, there is some distance between them.  Eddie starts off by awkwardly mentioning almost dying, again. Buck is looking over at Eddie confused. Eddie continues to speak.

Eddie goes on to talk about his multiple close calls, and how this wasn’t even the worse of his near death experiences. Buck tries to cut in, but Eddie asks him to let him finish. Eddie is making direct eye contact. Buck is concerned.

Eddie talks about his last near death experience when he was buried alive. Buck chiming, “ that he survived.” Eddie continues, he admits to thinking about what if he didn’t survive, what would have happened to Christopher. So, he met with his attorney and had his will changed.

Eddie reveals that if someday he doesn’t survive another tragedy, Chris would be taken care of, he would go with Buck. Buck is confused and Eddie makes it clear to him, that if he were to die, Buck would be Chris’ legal guardian.

Buck is processing this new information, asking how that would even work. Would Eddie need Buck’s permission to do something like that. Eddie mentions his attorney bringing up that Buck could always refuse guardianship.

Okay so I’m going to mention another post I read a long time ago, about how Eddie approached the topic with his attorney about making his best friend a legal guardian.

How the attorney might be thinking best friend is just code for lover. I may have read that in a fic, I just know this isn’t my original idea. But it is another fun thing to think about.

Buck vocalizing that Eddie knows him, and how he wouldn’t refuse something like that. Eddie repeating back to Buck that he knows he wouldn’t refuse.

Buck continues to analyze the situation, brining up the fact that Eddie’s parents are still alive, wondering if they would try to fight for custody.

Eddie goes on to describe how his family tried to guilt him into giving Christopher to them when Shannon died. He didn’t what that for Chris then and he doesn’t want that for him now. Eddie wants someone that will fight for his son, and he knows that person is Buck.

Buck realizes that Eddie changed his will last year, so why is he only now just finding out about it now.

“Because, Evan,” Eddie explains that after hearing Buck state that he should have been the one that was shot, that he needed to hear he mattered. Eddie wanted Buck to know he was wanted and needed.

“You act like you’re expendable. But you’re wrong.” Buck looks up at Eddie.

My pinned post is about this moment and how Eddie basically confessed to loving Buck and giving him his heart and how Buck didn’t realize it.

But now that I’ve rewatched the scene, I believe Buck knew Eddie was telling him he loves him. I just think Buck assumed it was a family kind of love. Eddie most likely believing he was only confessing a family kind of love.

Regardless of if you think there was romantic undertones to this moment or not, the one thing that can’t be denied is that this moment establishes Buck as a member of the family, specifically a parental figure in Chris’ life.  Buckley-Diaz or Diaz-Buckley family unit is basically canon.

Montage of the 118 being surrounded by family/friends and each other as Bobby narrates about survival.

Buck and Eddie are outside Eddie’s apartment. Buck opens the door to a surprise welcome back party. Taylor, Carla, Ana, his Abuela, Tia Peppa, and Chris are inside screaming surprise or clapping/cheering.

Eddie walks up towards Chris, crouches down and kisses him on the forehead. Chris is ecstatic, smiling ear to ear. Buck looking over at them from the door frame smiling.

Eddie greets each and everyone of the guests. Kissing his abuela, Ana, and Peppa on the cheek. Giving Carla a hug. We do not see him interact with Taylor individually, but we see him give a big laughing smile to the group.

Albert passes his fire fighter test. Everyone from the 118 is celebrating on the roof. Bobby in between Eddie and Buck. They are all clapping and cheering. Buck looks towards Eddies direction.

Out of all the Season finales, this one is my favorite. The story doesn’t feel rushed, each person in the 118 basically gets a decent place to end their stories if they weren’t renewed for another season.

It’s emotional and powerful and we get to see individual character progress as well as team dynamic.

 I specifically can’t stop myself from comparing it to Season 6th finale. Everything Season 4’s did right, Season 6 lacked. But I’ll discuss that when I get to Season 6th finale.

[corellianhounds]

Curious to know your thoughts on Din’s separation from Ran’s Crew… (you said you wanted a discussion topic 😉)

I meant for this to be a two paragraph response and then when I looked up three hours had passed and my back was stiff from sitting at the keyboard for so long. I wrote ninety-five percent of this in one go, then made a gyro and literally went to go rewatch the episode to double check my quotes and notes before coming back 😆

~ 3.1k words

This ended up being a LOT more context because I don’t feel like I can give a solid answer without laying the groundwork for how I come to the conclusions that I do. I’m nothing if not able to justify my reasons/interpretations, but I also try not to lock into anything unchangeable when it comes to more nebulous parts of a character’s history because I can see how things can go several different ways, all of them interesting and plausible.

One of the things I’ve always loved about Mando from a mechanical/storytelling technique perspective is that he’s one of those characters with a mysterious past we only get in relevant bits and pieces, leaving so much open to speculation and interpretation. (I think that does contribute to how many wildly different takes we see in fan spaces about his character, but I digress.) He’s like Wolverine or Snake Eyes in that, when he’s being written well, his entire past and backstory isn’t spelled out in concrete detail which frees up storytellers to add things in later as they become relevant without contradicting themselves or having to refer back to/be confined by too much rigidly established history or canon.

(Personally I think more authors should do that when it comes to how characters are used in a story (meaning, the character should serve whatever story you’re writing first and you shouldn’t get too precious about elaborate backstories and irrelevant details if they end up blocking you from making stronger narrative decisions). I like only getting bits and pieces because we as the audience fill in the gaps for ourselves and stay intrigued by the remaining sense of mystery)

Because of that, I don’t have a concrete idea in mind for how Din got involved with or left Malk’s crew, and I hope it never gets spelled out unless the writers have a specific story in mind where that comes up.

As much as I like writing Din as a genuinely good man with a strong moral compass and personal code, that does also mean that I think there were times he wasn’t a good man. People are a lot of things in life, and it’s only through genuine trial and error, making mistakes and actively bad decisions and learning hard lessons from bad experiences that people grow into being good people (keeping in mind that everybody is capable of making good and bad choices in life at every step of the way. ‘Being good’ takes active work and it takes even more work to maintain that consistently).

Characters are more compelling and dynamic when they’ve actually done things that are contrary to how they behave in the present (provided the audience is shown the meaningful progression of that change). To that end, I think Din Djarin has done some things in his life he deeply regrets. Some of those decisions may have been forced out of him by virtue of circumstance, and some of them may have been on purpose (or the lesser of two evils).

Sometimes making the right choice will end up costing you something important, up to and including your life. Survivors of any kind have done a lot of things to ensure that survival. Everybody is capable of change, but change can go in a lot of different directions.

I think erasing a character’s flaws or implications of a flawed past does those characters and stories a disservice by uncomplicating the people and world within which the story is taking place. It truncates what decisions those characters are able to get away with as a story progresses if you insist they’ve only ever been morally upstanding up to the present. It closes off opportunities and directions for writers to take regarding the character’s future. That’s not a hard and fast rule, but if you start off with Steve Rogers being a good guy, you can’t have him do a complete 180 in a story unless that’s going to be given the time and focus it would take to make that arc believable and satisfying, and sometimes you just don’t have the time to dedicate to that if that isn’t the main story.

All of that to say, Din has probably done some bad things. You don’t end up working with criminals for (it’s implied) an extended period of time without having to make moral compromises, and though I believe Din’s faith as a Mandalorian has been steadfast since childhood, there are probably aspects of the more honorable teachings that he’s lapsed in at different points of time. (He did, at one point in time, turn over the life of a child to known enemies for payment.) He probably had to not ask questions about targets they were sent sabotage or steal from because if he doesn’t know for a fact that they were innocent people, he can tell himself that he’s not at fault for senselessly hurting people or robbing them of their livelihood (even if his guilt, intuition, and conscience tell him otherwise when he tries to sleep at night).

You know what you’re getting into going into mercenary work, so you can’t get tied up into moral quandaries every time you see the person on the other side of it. The more impersonal you can make it, the more you can do the job swiftly and mitigate as much suffering and collateral damage as possible.

I say all of this because Mando doesn’t exactly refute most of the things the crew says about him during the planning and travel phase of the mission, and I don’t think he has a problem correcting people when they’re objectively wrong about him (even if he’s at a disadvantage here being outnumbered, desperate, and coming to them for work). When Ran says they did a lot of crazy stuff back in the day, Din says “That was a long time ago,” which does admit to at least some of it being true, it’s just something Din makes a point to say he’s distanced himself from. He’s saying that he’s a different person than what he was like back then, which means there had to have been things he did that he’s not proud of.

Sometimes the more you protest though, the more people will pile on the jabs and mockery, especially if said jabs come from elements of truth you as the target can’t completely deny. If you don’t give people the response they want, oftentimes they’ll get bored and move on to something else, or at least won’t linger on that particular insult.

It’s also worth pointing out that anything the other members of the crew say about him could have been false or taken out of context or were perceived entirely different than what the reality was, them not knowing what Mando’s motives were at the time because he’s not exactly forthcoming. Anything they say that implies he did some shady things could have also been things Mando did in those moments that were actually cover for something else. Him letting them think the worst of him so they don’t notice how he’s freeing hostages remotely as they work, or sabotaging their demolition-heavy escape that would have hurt bystanders, or hailing the law to show up and interfere before things go too far and people end up dead when they could be saved. The quieter you are, the more people will reveal themselves and overlook you as part of the background, leaving you free to do what you need to.

Some of the things the mercenaries say about him could also be their skewed interpretations of events. Mando could have been quick, heavy-hitting, and ruthless, but ruthlessness doesn’t always equate bloodthirsty— Ruthlessness just means the most efficient route or means from point A to point B. If he went in on a mission and had to incapacitate people quickly and cleanly, they might have interpreted that to mean Mando was a violent person who liked killing or beating people up for the fun or glory or pleasure of it if he was volunteering to be the first one going in. The reality could have been Din not wanting people to suffer or be killed at the hands of mercenaries he knew would be harsher/more careless if they went ahead of him on a job.

Maybe the mercenaries all thought he was trigger happy because he would shoot first without asking questions, but Din was, in reality, six steps ahead of everybody else and had already analyzed the situation and come to the conclusion that that was the necessary thing to do at that juncture. Maybe the fact that he was brutal and quick to fight back when people on the crew antagonized him in their downtime or tried to take his things made them think he had a short temper and was always raring for a fight, when the reality is you have a much better chance of winning if you hit hard and hit fast, and he wasn’t going to put up with anybody’s disrespect or antagonism by rolling over and letting them think they could get away with pushing him around. As soon as you give people an inch they’ll take a mile.

Even if he was doing some shady jobs, there are still things he’s not going to do even if he had the skill sets for it. Din’s not going to torture people and wouldn’t have stood for it from others of the crew. He’s not a murderer and even when he’s had to kill people in the show it’s always done quickly and efficiently. (One reason why I can’t definitively say Mando would be entirely against hurting someone for information is that he did leave Gor Koresh to be torn apart by dogs at the beginning of Season 2, so he obviously thinks there are some people who have it coming. “You won’t die by my hand, but I don’t have to save you.” He gave Koresh a clear and concise opportunity in the arena to back off and give him the info he came for without killing him though and Gor Koresh didn’t take the chance Mando gave him, so Mando’s not going to lose sleep over what he did in leaving the don hanging there in the street. It’s probable there were similar instances like that while working for Ran.)

Though there are a lot of other immoral actions that come with the kinds of jobs it’s implied that they did, Mando wasn’t killing people left and right, especially since these guys are lower level criminals and thugs, not organized crime members or assassins, and murder gets you a lot more attention than you want if your primary jobs are stealth-based. Mando retained a sense of honor while working for Ran���s crew because Qin wouldn’t have used “You need me alive to get paid; isn’t that your code? Aren’t you a man of honor?” as a guilt trip/bargaining chip at the end of the episode otherwise. Qin’s (mockingly, but probably accurately) quoting back to him what Din had said to them in the past (same as what Xi’an did in transit regarding what he says about the helmet rule). It’s both possible and likely that Din was the one reining other people in when he could, mediating or diverting the crew from killing targets, security, or civilians who ended up in the way.

The reason I think Mando only killed people back then in self defense is that he left the merc crew alive at the end of “The Prisoner” when he obviously could have killed them. To me, what we’ve seen of his sense of justice in the present shows that, had they all proven to be merciless murderers to other people, he would have dealt out equal punishment in return by the end of it has retroactive retribution. Xi’an was the only one he’d worked with before (aside from Qin) and I don’t doubt that she enjoys killing people, and she did kill Davin so she was the most deserving if he had killed her there, but Mando still gave all of them the same last chance he gave Qin years ago; left behind and captured, but alive, despite the fact they all tried to kill him.

(A possible out-of-universe explanation for why he left them alive is that the writers may have had more planned for them in Season 2; there’s concept art in the second season’s Art of The Mandalorian that has Mayfeld, Xi’an, and Burrg on Boba Fett’s ship going into “The Believer.”)

We haven’t seen any evidence of Mando taking active enjoyment in killing people. Needless murder goes against the Mandalorian code, and violence typically isn’t (or is taught that it shouldn’t be) the first resort. Mandalorians are diplomatic enough to have a conversation first, but if you instigate a fight, they’re more than ready and able to finish it. Strike fast and get it over with, don’t drag it out. If you’re going to fight, do it out in the open and be willing to consider a genuine surrender when it’s asked for.

Mando’s not a bad guy. He’s just the best at what he does, and what he does isn’t very nice.

—

So now we’ve established some plausible parameters and the atmosphere for what it was like working with Ran’s crew in the past. There’s a lot of ways Mando could have ended up on the crew, and there’s a lot of reasons why he might have stayed there. He could have been ambitious and arrogant and setting out to make a name for himself, but I’m more inclined to think it was a matter of taking whatever jobs he could that would pay a lot of money and allow him to continue forward. Poor people without resources or connections are often driven to make decisions and find crummy or unethical work that goes against their personal code or preferences, especially when there are people relying on them as a source of income.

The importance of community and family among the Mandalorians is something that’s been made abundantly clear about Din from the beginning so that was probably a driving factor in how he conducted his life and work once he became an adult, and if he was one of the few people who was able to travel to find work and bring money and resources back to the tribe, then of course he was going to do it. There are mouths to feed, children to care for, armor to be built for others. You do what you can to survive.

Now say the more jobs he does with them, the worse they get, but he makes more money that can be brought home to the tribe. Say there are circumstances with bad timing that compel him to keep working for Malk as opposed to finding somebody else (potentially just as bad) to work for; working for the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t. Maybe he’s saving up for a ship. Maybe he somehow ended up indebted to Malk and was forced to work off that debt for longer than he obviously wanted.

Maybe he was desperate for any work and theirs seemed promising, especially since he had the exact skillset that would guarantee he’d succeed. Maybe the jobs they used to do were just legal enough to pass as legitimate (if difficult) work and it wasn’t until he’d been there a while that they started to become more dubiously ethical, or Ran used the fact that they had a Mandalorian with them to bargain for better paying jobs from clients (those jobs paying more because they were dirty work).

Say that he knew it would be hard to leave the merc crew because if he didn’t do it right, he knew they’d all be suspicious about what secrets and details he’d be taking with him. Who knows who he might talk to? If that were the case, they may have come after him once he departed just to make sure he couldn’t betray them and give them up.

Say Mando had other outside obligations that kept him working with Malk despite the fact he could see the red flags, and the slow, creeping decline in honest work took place over a longer length of time. It’s a lot easier to get somebody involved with criminal activity if it starts small, starts gradual, and can be reasonably justified, especially if you don’t have all the facts surrounding the circumstances under which the job is taking place. No questions asked, that’s the policy.

I think whatever job they took where Qin was left behind was close to if not the end of Mando’s time with them. I don’t get the impression they had a great relationship to begin with, and Qin also seems like he could have held his own against Mando for a good amount of time before either of them had to back down or their fights were broken up. Almost every episode involves somebody picking a fight with Din over the armor or the helmet (or just… anything really), and it’s clear he’s had a lifetime of similar treatment and he’s able to fight back every time, so it’s not a stretch to say he was probably on the receiving end of similar scuffles while working with the crew, including those instigated by Qin.

So if Mando already had reasons why he wouldn’t have risked his hide to go back for Qin, it’s possible something specific happened that was the last straw and Mando decided he would no longer go out of his way to help or protect him, meaning when whatever mission they were on went pear-shaped, Mando left him. A kind of “Those who fall behind get left behind,” mentality, considering he knew Qin could hold his own and would end up alive if he was smart enough to know what was good for him and back down when he was caught. That was Mando’s measure of grace extended Qin’s way. Mando could have killed him on the way out, but he didn’t. He considered that Qin’s last chance.

I don’t think Qin was necessarily caught by the law on that mission, but regardless of how it shook out that crew ended up back at home base with at least one less member among them and everybody having a hunch that it could have been done on purpose, even if Mando had viable justification for why he couldn’t have gone back for him without risking the rest of the mission. Mando was able to make a clean break and walk away from the encounter (because Malk wouldn’t have let him back on the crew in “The Prisoner” otherwise), but not without everybody’s suspicions cast on him as he went, and the longer time passes between people who part ways on a sour note, the more those accusatory thoughts fester and build.

Mando may have made the objectively right call in leaving Qin and had the evidence to back him up, but people’s feelings are finicky things and tend to overrule all better judgment regardless of the facts of a situation, so the fact that he’d been with that crew for a while and had a history there— one that likely included a well-known animosity between himself and Qin— meant that it didn’t matter how justified Din was. If he’d stayed and continued to take jobs with them nobody else would have trusted him to have their backs going forward, which meant there would be no way for Mando to trust that they would have his. For all he knew, their next mission would end with him being left behind, metaphorically or literally stabbed in the back for his trouble in thinking they could work together again.