#good lord this post is almost 2k words

[starryalpacasstuff]

Indian BL? FROM 2017????

There's an Indian BL from 2017 that I just watched. And I have incoherent thoughts

Before I continue, massive thanks to my bestie @anixknowsnothin for telling me about this show and proofreading the post for me. You don't even watch bl so I have no idea how you found this, but I'm incredibly grateful nonetheless

Here's the link to where I watched the show from, there's a glitch in the first episode subs where the subs seem to be from another show entirely, but it's only for the first ep and about 50% of the dialogue is in English anyways, so it shouldn't be hard to follow.(My ask box is also always open if there's a specific dialogue/scene in Hindi that you want the translation of)

Edit: The link seems to be region locked, so to watch it you can use a vpn and set your region to India, otherwise the episodes are available on youtube, albeit without subs

Note:- this post is going to have a few mild spoilers throughout, but I'll flag major spoilers in red

It's no secret that India is fairly behind when it comes to queer love shows if we compare it to other Asian countries. While it has a handful of great queer shows and movies, it's still quite a small quantity. Additionally, before this, I'd never watched an Indian show that felt like I was watching a bl (if you have recs, please send them my way!!). I'm not going to get into the technicalities of what feels like a bl and doesn't, because honestly, I'm not completely sure myself. For now, I'm just going based off of vibes and feelings, and this show felt like a bl through and through.

Titled 'Romil and Jugal' after its main characters, the story is a modern, desi, bl remake of the classic story...

Romeo and Juliet

Well, Bad Buddy was the first Thai bl I ever watched, so Romil and Jugal being the first Indian BL I watched just feels right, no?

I didn't actually know that the story was based off of Romeo and Juliet till the second episode, because I didn't bother looking for a synopsis, and jumped right in. However, it's links to Romeo and Juliet quickly became apparent, around the same time I started to see similarities between this show and Bad Buddy. I also did not know that this show came out in 2017 before I googled it, having already watched the entire thing, which was a pretty huge shock, because this BL is progressive by 2024 India standards.

Alright, enough of my rambling. Here's a synopsis of the show in case you haven't heard of it. (I couldn't find an official one, so I did my best to write a spoiler free synopsis)

Ramya happens to start talking to a slightly older woman at an airport, who believes that there is no romance in the younger generation. To prove her wrong, Ramya decides to tell the older woman her brother's love story. The story from the past is shown to us as Ramya narrates it to the woman in the present. Jugal is a closeted 19-year-old who lives with his parents. One day, a family moves into the house next door, and Jugal immediately falls for the son, Romil. The two of them attend the same college, and eventually become friends. The two of them eventually get together, but have to face the challenges of a homophobic society and having parents that hate each other.

I was a little skeptical of the show going in, but the show surpassed all of my expectations in the best way possible. It's no masterpiece, and it has its flaws, but it was far better than what I expected. It had both comical elements and darker themes, and it did not shy away from exploring the darker themes at all. Oh, and it has a few musical numbers. What did you expect? This is India after all.

The show is 10 episodes long, with 20 minutes per episode, and so it does unfortunately fall into some of the pitfalls that shorter shows tend to fall into, namely underdeveloped relationships and rushed endings. I did end up feeling a little bit like it didn't make sense for the pair to sacrifice and suffer as much as they did because they hadn't known each other for very long, and I felt like they should have been given more time to fall in love with each other. But it also could be argued that the show stays true to the play, and Romil and Jugal are dumb teenagers who make mistakes and stick with each other through them. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it.

One thing that I loved the show for was that it showed us that the relationship is not all sunshine and rainbows. They argue, they break up, they get back together, and they do argue even after that. But every time, they eventually work through the issue and reconcile. The show even depicts Romil dealing with internalized homophobia and struggling to reconcile with the fact that he will never be who his family wants him to be. Although I do wish they'd have had more time to explore this, I'd say it was decently depicted and handled. The show really delves into how children are forced to uphold their family's wishes and are constantly put under pressure to make them proud. Although it clearly affects both of them, it's more obvious with Romil, who is expected by his family to date and marry the daughter of his father's boss, whom they think he is dating. There's a metaphor along this theme too, where Romil pretends to like the mango shake that his mom has been making for him since he was a kid, even though he hates it, and when he tries to tell her, he has to act like it was a joke to spare her feelings. The show also goes into the communal mindset of basing your actions off "what will people think?", and you can see how a lot of the characters' actions throughout the show are haunted by this question. Some of Romil and Jugal's earlier disagreements are due to this very mindset.

The show also very candidly depicts the extreme homophobia of society in India. Romil and Jugal had to constantly hide who they were, always having to keep up a mask and I felt that reach somewhere deep inside me. When the pair come out, the show really shows how ugly homophobia can be in India. Their parents immediately disown them. They're mocked in college and wrongfully suspended for a fight that was provoked by other students. Very, very few people stand with them, and the pair very quickly realize that now that they are out, they simply cannot live in the city anymore. So with the help of Jugal's best friend and her mother, they flee to Mumbai, where they get jobs and live as paying guests with a friend of the aforementioned mother. But, even in Mumbai, the masks stay up. They have to act like cousins, for fear of being persecuted. The series depicted the worst-case scenario that so many of us live in fear of, so watching it was something of a cathartic experience for me.

Another thing that the show did quite well is showing how different people and their mindsets can be. Jugal's best friend, Ahalya, and her mom are very supportive, and they help the pair out quite a bit. Ahalya's mother provided a safe house for the pair and helped them find a fresh start. Meanwhile, Romil and Jugal's parents are incredibly homophobic. There was a scene that really stuck with me, (mild spoiler ahead, skip to the last sentence of the paragraph) where Ahalya's mother came across Jugal's mother, who prided herself on being educated and well-read, searching up how to cure homosexuality. Ahalya's mother then tells her off for calling herself educated yet believing that homosexuality is an illness. It is so important to me that the show depicted both the violent homophobia that permeates Indian society and the surprising, warm acceptance that one can find.

One final thing that I loved about this show so, so much is just how authentically Indian it feels. Asian cultures share a lot in common, but they also have their differences, so seeing a show where I can imagine encountering the characters in real life is really amazing. Rather than something big, it was little things sprinkled throughout the story that warmed my heart. The story felt like something I could hear the local aunties gossiping about. The way it depicts queerness in India hits incredibly close to home.

One thing I've learned watching Asian bls is that the ending of a show can make it or break it, but with this one, I'm stuck. The best way I can describe the ending is absolutely insane and incredibly Bollywood.

I believe this show was supposed to get a second season because the last two minutes of the show leave us with a massive cliffhanger. Now, it's been 7 years, so a second season is unlikely, so I'm simply pretending that the last two minutes of the show never happened. But the ending has so much more to it than just this (Major spoilers for the ending up ahead. I mean it when I say major, this is like going into Bad Buddy knowing that they're going to trick their parents in the end).

About halfway through the show, I remembered what play it was based upon and realized that there was a very real possibility that Romil and Jugal would die. The first half of the last episode leads up to this, telling us that they died when reconciling after an argument in the middle of the road when they were hit by a truck. We get a super emotional scene (yes, I cried) where the two families somewhat reconcile in their grief as they go to the police station to identify the bodies. Except... they're not dead, which is revealed when Romil's father hugs Romil's (not) dead body. They reveal that they planned this to show their family that they still loved their sons. I did say it was like PatPran tricking their parents in the end, didn't I? So the families reunite, Romil and Jugal get jobs in New Zealand and get married, and return to India for a wedding celebration (yes, I cried. again). The ending does feel slightly rushed, but if I'm being honest, it wasn't as terrible as it could have been. Believing that your child is dead for a bit is a somewhat justifiable reason for a sudden change of heart. There's a part where Romil and Jugal tell their parents that if they choose acceptance, they can reconcile, but if they choose to remain prejudiced, Romil and Jugal can simply get back on the stretchers, because they'll be as good as dead to their families anyways and it is *chef's kiss*.

All in all, the show was surprisingly heartfelt and poignant. It had me laughing, kicking my feet and even crying. There's a lot more about this show that I could talk about, but I'm going to stop here for now, and I'll try to write more on it later. This show really does deserve more recognition than it has, and I'm almost mad at myself for not knowing about it before. Am I being really biased when talking about this show? Absolutely. But I do think that this show is a worthwhile watch, and I'd really like to see what other people on here think of the show, especially because I'm aware that I am biased towards this show.

I'm tagging a few people who I know might be interested/have some thoughts about the show because this is a show that I really want to hear other people's opinions on and have conversations about, so I hope you guys don't mind!

@waitmyturtles @lurkingshan @bengiyo @neuroticbookworm

[dreaisgrayte]

do you write for gyomei? if so could you write something along the lines of gyomei meeting a mother!reader who takes care of the orphan kids in her village, letting them stay at her house and providing them with everything they need,. and maybe gyomei stays the night to rest before going back on his journey to hunt a demon, but the demon ends up coming to him while trying to attack the house. but gyomei is there to protect everyone, and y/n is thankful for that. thank you!!!

I have never written for Gyomei, EVER. I'm not sure why... but I hope this is good! I wrote it in one day, which is surprising considering I wasn't sure how it would turn out. I should thank you! For getting me out of my comfort zone and possibly allowing me to make something...good? LMAO I hope it's something along the lines of what you wanted!!!!

Behind Me | Gyomei Himejima

Warnings: just a bit of demon death and wholesome children that eat rocks

Word Count: 2k

a/n: Everyone thank Anon for the suggestion!! it was a lot of fun to write someone new and from their perspective! AHH I hope you enjoy!!! <3 (it's also late so if there is anything I forgot in the post please tell me, my eyes are slowly shutting me off from the world)

Gyomei had endured a long day of trekking through the woods, hunting a troublesome demon, before coming across the border of a village. He could hear children running among adults who Gyomei believed to be strong enough. There was a small twitch to his senses as he was welcomed into the village, he could overhear the mention of an orphanage. As the scent of a good meal invaded his nose he wished to check on the children, perhaps staying the night if granted permission. Gyomei felt the vibration of someone near, the beads around his neck clicking together as he moved. “Excuse me, I’m looking for the orphanage.” His voice rumbles through his body. 

The person in front of him pauses, hopefully recognizing him to be the stone hashira. “Of course my Lord, would you like me to guide you there?” Gyomei couldn’t help but grin at the offer and respect for his position as a hashira.  

“That’s very kind of you, thank you for helping me.” He couldn’t help but get choked up after the person, likely a male based on their voice and strong grasp. Though Gyomei knew too many strong women to let that be a sole descriptor of sex. 

It took a small amount of time before the guide stopped. Gyomei could hear the pitter of many tiny feet and with the sun’s warmth fading on his skin he wanted to collect all of the children under his care. He would not make the same mistakes again. 

His heart sank in his large chest, a strong urge to start shedding tears over the past almost took over his every sense. “Oh, Chizu, what are you doing here?” A woman’s voice questions. The vibrations of her voice are soothing, the take away the worries Gyomei had rushing through his mind. Her very presence was like one of Kocho’s salves. He can feel her eyes finally land on his massive frame. He wondered if she was studying the scar across his forehead or the way his blank eyes refracted the very image he happened to be looking at. 

Gyomei’s eyes were the window into your soul. 

“I’ve brought one of the hashira to stay with you tonight.” The guide – or rather Chizu – replies. Gyomei can hear the way the woman sucks in the air, how her vibrations change to slightly protective. Good, she was willing to die for these children. The thought nearly brought him to sob. “Do you think the children will like him?” Chizu’s tone is humorous and without a second thought Gyomei is inclined to join in the jesting. 

“I make for wonderful climbing practice.” Both of them burst out in laughter and it brings a smile to his face, though laughing with kind villagers is so nice… he might start crying. 

After a moment the woman gingerly touches Gyomei’s muscular arm, the skin under her fingertips twitching. “I’m thankful for your presence my Lord, please come in.” He can feel her smile, the way she radiates kindness. He would stay here for the night and then make sure to hunt down the demon in the following days. Disgusting demons. He clutches his rosary, muttering chants to focus his mind on wiping away the muck of the world. 

Gyomei is yet again led into a short room, he can tell because he has to duck his head. Maybe the room isn’t short and rather Gyomei is too tall. “The children are all out back, washing up before dinner. Have you eaten yet my Lord?” The woman inquires. She pushes slightly on his forearm and after many years of having people try to signal things without saying anything, he knows to sit down. He’s met with comfortable tatami flooring. 

“I have not partaken in a meal yet… and please call me Gyomei.” He answers, bowing his head. The woman – he realizes he hasn’t asked her name yet – giggles softly. “Please tell me the name of the woman I am to thank for a place to rest.” 

There’s a moment of silence before he senses her kneeling next to him, the click of something being set in front of him. “I am simply the Mother, that’s what the children call me, at least.” He can hear the smile in her voice. Before Gyomei can comment on anything the rush of children takes away his breath. They are loudly talking about him. 

Woah! He’s so big! He’s like a mountain~ Can we keep him? I want to climb on him! Oh please, please, pleaaaassssseeeeeeeeeeeeee? Does he want this rock? Hey! That’s the rock I was going to eat!

“Excuse me Yeji, there will be no eating rocks,” Mother chastizes. The little one she was referring to groans dramatically. The woman next to you huffs before setting a hand on Gyomei’s arm again. He could get used to her calming touch. It was like how meditation made him feel. “I want you all to introduce yourself to Mister Gyomei, the stone hashira.” From what Gyomei can deduce, there are about 5 children in the room. 

“I’m Yeji! What’s a hashira?” A beat before the small girl gasps excitedly, “Do you eat rocks too?!” She exclaims. Gyomei chuckles – Yeji was his favorite, a strong girl in her own accord, especially if those rocks were in her system. 

“I’m Teke.” A little boy, he seems timid so Gyomei bows his head as a show of respect, hoping that Teke will see he means no harm. 

“My name is Pin and this is my little brother Rin.” A young girl bashfully introduces herself along with her younger brother who grunts in response. These children were cared for, tended with honesty, and safe. 

“I’m Ume… I got you this rock.” Tiny hands find their way to Gyomei and he allows her to set a miniscule pebble in his large palm. 

Gyomei bows his head to all of the children. It had been a while since he felt such…an overwhelming sense of righting the wrongs his past held. “Thank you Ume, I shall treasure this for as long as I live.” She squeals with happiness. 

“My Lord– er, Gyomei, do you need assistance with eating? I’ve brought some grilled meat and cold noodles. If you would like something else I’m sure one of the vendors will be happy enough to provide us with a meal worthy of your-” 

“Mama, he can just eat the rock.” Yeji – who you can imagine rolling her eyes like it was the most obvious choice – says. Mother quiets before a snort of laughter rings through Gyomei’s ears. She’s laughing so hard that her breath comes out in quick pants. 

It takes her a few minutes to calm down, the children giggling along with her in a harmonious melody. “I think Mister Gyomei should decide if he is the one to eat a rock or not.” She removes her hands from Gyomei’s arm, his warmth already missing hers. “But your mother worked so hard to prepare this meal.” Her timbre shifts to that of a whining child. The children hum in acknowledgment. 

“Mama does work very hard to fill our tummies…” Teke mutters quietly. 

“Teke is right! Let mister G…Gy…Gyoma eat Mama’s food!” Yeji yells. Gyomei fills with delight. These children, this atmosphere, it was almost too much. 

With the help of Mother, Gyomei enjoys a delicious meal – a few tears are shed because of the pure deliciousness present on his tastebuds. He could’ve fed himself but in all honesty, he preferred the way Mother fed him. “Now it’s off to bed with you heathens.” She laughs. 

The children rush to set up their mats, unfolding one for Gyomei. The cool air of night fills the room. “Mister Stone Man, ask Mama for a bedtime story, that way she can’t say no.” Pin is talking to him and he hears a scoff from his other side. 

“Pin, I would’ve told you a tale regardless.” Mother hums. As the night settles in Gyomei can feel himself grow restless. The tale was about the Demon Corps and Gyomei felt his duty weighing on him more now than ever. He was strong enough to handle it now, that’s what he kept telling himself. 

Mother was humming a lullaby with children surrounding her. He could see – well envision – himself falling into slumber, but his ears perk up at the sound of a twig snapping. Animals inhabit the surrounding woods, but this snap wasn’t on purpose. Something had tripped, the vibrations echoing malicious intent. He stills, one hand on his rosary. 

He turns to the last place he felt Mother, the look – if he could have one – must have conveyed to quiet down. He can hear her wake the children who had fallen asleep. She whispers to them calm instructions, her voice never breaking an inch in fear or distress. “Go to the corner. Cover the children.” Gyomei whispers. The creaking tatami signals she had done as instructed. Gyomei was strong this time. People listened when he told them to get behind him. He would protect them. Whatever the cost. His life mattered not if he did not give it to those he protected. Whatever was outside had to be a demon, Gyomei could smell the blood dripping from its mouth. The searing smell of flesh demons usually carried. It was disgusting.

It was approaching the house. Gyomei could act on his impulse and carry out the slaying, but through a calm reproach, he would stick to the group of people he was to protect. If he left their side that left them open to an attack. The house was far enough away from the rest of the village that he wasn’t worried about anyone else coming into harm's way. “Mama, what’s going on?” Yeji asks, her voice barely above a whisper. Gyomei’s muscles tense. 

It heard.

The figure appears, he can tell. “Well well well, fine dining just for me?” It sneers grotesquely. “A meaty steak and,” its voice pauses. “And some string beans to go along with it.” Gyomei can practically see the sickly smile that creeps up the evil one’s face. 

“Namu Amida Butsu. Namu Amida Butsu. Namu Amida Butsu.” Gyomei feels the sinking disgust take over his body as tears flood down his face. 

“Why is this one talking?” The demon questions before striking out with it’s claws. Gyomei continues his chant, gliding backwards to the group of children. Without breaking his chant the chain of his axe and flail extend outward. The nichirin metal surrounds the demon, grunts of struggle echoing in Gyomei’s ears. 

This foe will not live. It will not take another life. The edge of Gyomei’s axe cuts the skin of the demon. It hisses in agony, squirming to be free from the chain wrapped around its body. Gyomei was blessed to have gone through rigorous training, hours of meditation, and being able to feel his other Hashira at work. This demon was not strong enough to defeat the pure strength Gyomei possessed. He could save these children. He would save these children. 

The axe handle snaps back with a tug, slicing through the demon’s throat, but not all the way. “W-who are you?” It gurgles out. 

“May you find peace.” Gyomei prays. “Amen.” Before a small pull severs the head of the demon. He’s panting, worn out from the short battle. His head spins with thoughts and prayers for the damaged creature born of hate. He decides maybe he’d like for Mother to sing him a lullaby, to ease him into slumber. The sobs of the children finally hit Gyomei when they surround his legs, hugging him. 

“You were so cool!” Teke cries out, probably both scared and impressed. 

“Thank you Mister Gyoma!” Yeji sobs, wiping her tear struck face on Gyomei’s pants. 

“Gyomei,” He looks up, wracked with emotions unnameable. “You saved us, thank you. I am eternally grateful.” 

Eternal. Yes, that’s how long Gyomei would fight for the innocent.  

[ilovebellatrixandseverus]

HP longfic rec collection

With reddit closing down, and a lot of rec lists being lost to the public that way, I made a post on here asking for recommendations, and now that there were some in the notes - thank you all! - I thought I'd share them here! Feel free to reblog add to it, more the better! Starting and ending this beginning list with one of my own favs each to give you all some recs back:

Wizards in space by esama on Ao3, almost 50k

The Dumbledore's Army use the Room of the Requirement to get themselves a spaceship.

Harry Potter & Stargate fusion, No Warnings, Gen, Complete Work 27 Feb 2015, HP LJ GW FW HG RW LL GW CC ME, AU - Canon Divergence, Dumbledore's Army IN SPACE!, Science Fiction, Chapters: 10/10 Comments: 456 Kudos: 4807, (Knowledge about Stargate is not necessary to read this story)

Reccing this because I adore it so much it always makes me feel things!

Secrets by Vorabiza on ao3, almost 400k words.

Beginning with Draco's unexpected arrival at the Dursleys, Harry's summer after sixth year becomes filled with activity and many secrets. As his summer progresses, Harry generates several unexpected allies as he finds himself actively becoming the leader of the Light side. H/D post-HBP ~~Complete~~

Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Drama, Romance, Explicit Language, Sexual Content

Recced by @niccolo-machiavelli07 with the note 'contains good Snape and Malfoy's. I do need to warn you that it's Drarry and Draco has a literal kid...'

Harry Crow by Robst on FfNet - 700+k

What will happen when a goblin-raised Harry arrives at Hogwarts. A Harry who has received training, already knows the prophecy and has no scar. With the backing of the goblin nation and Hogwarts herself. Complete.

Harry Potter, T, English, chapters: 106, favs: 31k+, follows: 19k+, updated: Jun 8, 2014 published: Jun 5, 2012, [Harry P., Hermione G.]

Recced by @elizabethgoudge with the note 'Harry Crow is quite hetero, but has a super interesting premise about goblins and is very long. He has another one with interesting elves, as well.' and I have read the fic before and can second the recommendation! It's an amazing longfic.

Delenda Est on FFnet (Reboot & Original) 100+k

Dying, Bellatrix uses her heirloom to send Harry to the past. There, he can try stopping Voldemort while making the acquaintance of a young and impressionable Bellatrix Black, who may opt to serve Lord Black instead of Voldemort. H/B. Rewrite of DE with different plot, some new characters. No need to read original. Backwards compatible with PB.

Harry Potter, T, English, Adventure & Romance, chapters: 12, favs: 1k+, follows: 2k+, updated: May 8 published: May 2, 2022, Harry P., Bellatrix L.

Recced by @str82theheartpls with the note 'my all-time fave is being rebooted and the original is amazing too'. Description of the original version is 'Harry is a prisoner, and Bellatrix has fallen from grace. The accidental activation of Bella's treasured heirloom results in another chance for Harry. It also gives him the opportunity to make the acquaintance of the young and enigmatic Bellatrix Black as they change the course of history.'

Oh God Not Again! By Sarah1281 on Ao3 & ffnet, 150+k

So maybe everything didn't work out perfectly for Harry. Still, most of his friends survived, he'd gotten married, and was about to become a father. If only he'd have stayed away from the Veil, he wouldn't have had to go back and do everything AGAIN.

Gen - Hermione Granger & Harry Potter & Ron Weasley, Draco Malfoy & Harry Potter, Neville Longbottom & Harry Potter, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin & Harry Potter, Luna Lovegood & Harry Potter - Old Fic, Humor, Time Travel, like literally, originally posted september13 2008 on ff.net, story completed as of december 2009

Recced by @polyvirnl with the note '"Oh God Not This Again" is very good', and I can second that, I read and rearead the fic many times, it's crazy awesome!

The Andromeda Program on Ao3 120+k

Hermione Granger is one of the select few to join the prestigious Andromeda Program to explore space for all of humanity. She thinks it will be an excellent opportunity to prove her worth and show her mettle, but perhaps living on a spaceship and spending her time with the same group of people is not all it's cracked up to be. Or maybe one person in particular is making it especially difficult.

Hermione Granger/Severus Snape, Alternate Universe - Space, Alternate Universe - Muggle, Healer Severus, Adult Hermione, Medical Inaccuracies, Minor Injuries, Slow Burn, Swearing, Angst, Power Imbalance, Alcohol

Recced by @echoofawind with the note 'I love The Andromeda Program. It's a Severus x Hermione muggle Sci-fi AU that has Ender's Game vibes'

Pride of Time by Anubis Ankh on Ao3

Hermione quite literally crashes her way back through time by roughly twenty years. There is no going back; the only way is to go forward. And when one unwittingly interferes with time, what one expects may not be what time finds...

Mature, Violence, F/M, HG/SS, Time-Turner, Time Travel,bChapters: 51/51 COMPLETE Jun 2012, Comments: 438 Kudos: 3133 COMPLETE

Reccing this because once you start reading you can't stop! I don't usually read Snamione and I have no idea how I ended up here first, but I've reread it twice since! Hermione as a death eater spy's wife is amazing.

If you have any other fic recs, feel free to reblog and add them to the post!

Note that reblogs are better than replies (or likes) because reblogs help share the post around - so more people get the recs, and more people see the post and might add their own recs as well!

If you rec more than three please use a readmore under the first or so, so not to spam everyone's dash!

[digitalagepulao]

GOOD LORD ABOVE AND BELOW, i thought tumblr had eaten my draft

it only posted it which isnt ideal but lmao, rather that than almost 2k words vanish into the void amiright folks?????

[evernkillian]

HP Fanfiction Recs | One- Shot Edition; Part 1

Standard Rec Lists Disclaimers Apply: Please for the love of God read the tags and Author's Note/s, This is NOT the ultimate rec lists or whatever, the fics below are my cup of tea.

Also, I tried my best to make the Quotes I included spoiler free but if you think it is just tell me!

(also, I have more fic recs! Here)

🍄🍄🍄

1. r/AITA by Seagate

G | 2k Words | Hermione / Draco

Summary: A budding relationship seen through the eyes of Reddit posts

Hermione POV. Well, Reddit Post Style. Hermione's a good friend 🥹🥹🥹 Actually, most of her posts are about Harry, seeking advice on how could she make sure that he won't get hurt/make sure that he's in good hands. ALSO ALSO they keep interacting in the comments so READ THEIR USERNAMES IT'S FUNNIER IF U KNEW WHO IT IS. To this day whenever I remember Voldemort's comment I laugh. I love Hermione's characterization- she's loyal, and she takes no shit. I laugh a lot reading this because Hermione sounds so serious but it's funny. Also my favorite quote:

I don't buy it for a second. The kicked puppy look, the lost baby blue eyes, and pouty lips? I was there when he perfected it. When he used the fake remorse to get out of trouble with the professors. 

I slammed the door in his face. I'd rather get murdered, thanks.

2. Do Not Collect 200 Dollars by KittySmith

T | 11k Words

Summary: It isn't Voldemort who is reverted to baby form from the Final Super Spell - but why is Harry still alive?

Is Voldemort... cooing?

Crack fic. Like, really crack. I reread this fic when I need a laugh. Voldemort's mind is a beautiful place it's so funny. I love how oblivious Voldemort is with Snape's kidnapping attempts LAUGHING CRYING SOBBING the interactions of these 3 are my favorite parts because of its peak comedy. Voldemort as the most bizarre doting parent ever. Oh, yeah, it's a Voldemort Wins AU. He's just taking care of Harry and researching. What an icon. ALSO MY FAVORITE QUOTE:

He examined the banana he had left consideringly, checking its heft before he threw it directly into Severus’ terrified face with a flat, “Bitch.”

3. Heartbreaking Confession by LiquidLuckandStuff (@liquidluckandstuff )

M | 1k Words | Harry / Tom|Voldemort

Summary: After the war, Harry visits Voldemort's grave after a bad day with a Mind Healer.

He confesses something he is too scared to tell even his closest friends.

Just Harry having a bad day and talking to Voldemort's grave. About Almosts, what ifs, what could've beens. This fic shows that Voldemort and Harry understood each other very much. The ways they've shown it while they're enemies, while one of them is dead. Also my favorite quote!!! It's longer than this, 3 paragraphs but i think that would be too spoiler-y so here it is!

Quietly, Harry whispered a terrible secret. “Sometimes, I want to crawl in there with you."

4. Breaking More Taboos by Destiny_Of_A_Dragon

M | 3k Words | Harry / Voldemort

Summary: The first time Harry broke the taboo, he’d been beyond starving, with little to no choice. The second and third times were much the same.

But the fourth?

That’s when everything changed.

HOLY MOLY THIS FIC!!!! MAKES ME FERAL!!! It's so unique and I've reread it lots of times!!! Can't say more because spoilers but!!! If you've read this scream about it with me. Sadly I can't put my favorite quote here since I don't wanna ruin the surprise factor but!!! Just know I have a lot of them!!!

5. Lightning Heart by Clarisse (transnymphtaire)

G | 1k Words | Harry / Tom

Summary: The first time you touch, a matching symbol is left behind where skin met skin.

ROLE REVERSAL AU!!! DARK LORD HARRY GRRRRRRRR. ALSO GRYFFINDOR TOM. Also Luna's part is brief here but she's a badass I love her. And!!! Harry giving tom gifts for courting. And they're soulmates! Favorite quote:

"Did you know that Gryffindor was my old house?” Harry ask conversationally, as if they’re not under the school, with a mirror hiding the Philosopher’s stone.

“It’s why I chose it over Slytherin.” Tom answers.

🍄🍄🍄

[prince-of-elsinore]

Till the Juice Runs Down My Leg (2k, rated E) by elsi Fandom: The Outsiders (book & film) Pairing: Ponyboy Curtis/Sodapop Curtis Tags: PWP, implied underage, breeding kink, Post-Canon, Brother/Brother Incest

Summary: “Glory, Pony, good thing you ain’t a girl or we’da made a dozen rug rats by now.”

An offhand comment from Sodapop leads Ponyboy's thoughts somewhere new.

Read on AO3 or below the cut:

Soda is 20, Ponyboy is 17/18.

Title is from Led Zeppelin's "The Lemon Song," which came out in 1969, the year this fic takes place.

...

Till the Juice Runs Down My Leg

When I climbed over my brother's hips for the third time that night, Sodapop threw an arm over his eyes and groaned. "Glory, Pony, good thing you ain't a girl or we'da made a dozen rug rats by now."

My stomach lurched into a somersault and I almost lost my balance. "I think your math's off," I muttered, a moment too late. I reached behind me and grabbed Soda's dick a little harder than strictly necessary. His hips jerked and he bit his lip.

"Not if—not if they were all triplets." The visible half of his face broke into a grin.

I paused with the hot head of Soda's cock nestled between my cheeks. We'd been doing this about three years now. Divided by nine months was four, four sets of triplets would be—goddammit.

"So you can do math when you feel like it, huh," I said, face burning. "Anyway, if I were a girl I'd be your sister." That would surely put a stop to this embarrassing talk. Doing it with your sister was just wrong.

I began to sink down. I was still open and slippery from before, so it didn't even hurt when the head popped inside.

Soda huffed out a low grunt and brought his hands to my hips, digging into the same finger-shaped spots that were already shadowed with the promise of bruises. Let's just say, we didn't exactly take it easy on the rare nights we got the house to ourselves.

"Then I guess," Soda said, pressing me down, "it's an extra good thing you ain't a girl." He punched his hips up in punctuation, hard and quick.

I gasped, but it wasn't only at being stretched so full so suddenly. My insides spasmed and clenched around Soda's thickness and he groaned.

"Yeah?" I breathed. "You'd—do it to me? If I was your sister?"

Soda squinted his eyes open to frown at me.

I licked my lips. I felt lightheaded. "You'd make me pregnant?"

Soda blinked, and then his eyes got real, real wide. He parted his lips and dug his fingers into my hips harder. "Glory," he whispered.

His eyes went hot and hungry as he let them roam down my body, pausing on the obvious weight between my legs that dragged on his abdomen. He trailed his fingers over my length, then slid them up my belly till his middle fingertip rested in my navel and his palm spread wide and hot just above the dark triangle of my pubic hair.

"D'you want me to?" he whispered.

I shivered and clenched again. I felt an answering pulse deep inside.

Soda ground his hips slowly into me and gazed up with heavy-lidded eyes. "D'you want me to make you pregnant, Pony?"

I fell forward and caught myself with a death grip on his biceps. "Soda," I pleaded, and squeezed down as hard as I could, everywhere at once.

Soda let out an "Oh!" of surprised pleasure and tugged me closer, wrapping his arms around me to grab my shoulders and pull me onto him as he began fucking into me, fast and hard and mind-bendingly good.

I was so stunned by the sudden ball of heat growing between my legs that I didn't realize at first Soda was still talking. He didn't usually have much to say in bed besides "Pony," "Ponyboy," "baby," and a regular rotation of curse words; he was more into the sweet-talking before and the pillow-talking after.

"Glory, Pony, you'd let me? You'd really let me?" The words tumbled out, breathy and jerky and unpremeditated. "You'd want—shit—want me to knock you up?"

Oh glory, Jesus. Jesus Christ. "Yes, yes, Soda," I sobbed. Lord, it was so wrong. It was so goddamn wrong but—"I'd let you, want you to, Jesus, please."

Sweat was pouring off Soda's scorching skin as he panted and strained. My arms slipped and I collapsed over his chest, limp as a rag doll. It was useless to try to keep up with his breakneck pace. I moaned into his damp neck. "It'd be yours," I said, in a voice I scarcely recognized, high and thready and wet with tears. "It'd be yours this time, Soda, I swear it'd be yours."

Sodapop gasped and squeezed me tighter, so tight I had to slap his shoulder. "Soda, can't breathe!"

He tore his arms away like it hurt him and grabbed my thighs instead, and then suddenly I was on my back and Soda was on top, folding me near in two.

His thrusts slowed but went deeper as his feet scrambled over the mattress and dug in, as if he expected to climb right up inside me. The pressure was so intense, all the way in my stomach, that I was cramping up. I hooked my ankles together behind Soda's back and tried to leverage my hips into a better angle. When we slotted together just right it stopped my breath in my lungs and forced tears from the corners of my eyes.

Soda was practically dead weight, suffocating, not pulling out at all but just grinding in excruciating, exquisite circles. "Oh, baby, baby, baby," he whimpered, between quick sucks and nips to my neck, my jaw, my ears, anything he could reach. I glowed. There was nothing I loved better than when Sodapop lost it like this. Careful, tender, kind Sodapop, stripped down to animal need, finally taking, taking for himself when all he ever usually worried about was what he could give. Well, I wanted to give back. I wanted to give him everything he'd ever wished for and gotten his heart broken over, things he never got from any girl, not even Sandy.

I buried my face in the salt soaked hair behind his ear. "I'd do it," I whispered, shaking with the effort of clenching my legs around him, pulling myself up against his hips as close and tight as possible, till my balls were pressed snug against his pelvic bone. "I'd do it, Soda. I'd have your baby."

He framed my face with his hands and kissed me, open-mouthed and hard. Droplets fell into my eyes and I wasn't sure if they were his sweat or tears or both. He began pumping his hips again and I had to tear my mouth away to suck in air as searing heat pulsed through me.

"Pony, baby," he whined against my cheek, ramming in hard and making the headboard groan and shake. "Make you pregnant, Jesus, knock you up, Ponyboy, Jesus fuck—!" And he growled, honest-to-glory growled, like I'd never heard him growl outside a real knock-down, drag-out fight. He sank his teeth into my shoulder and it hurt but somehow felt amazing and I shouted and tensed and Soda slammed into me once, twice, three times—and then I was coming, from just the slick slide of Soda's stomach against my hard-on and the unforgiving pressure of his cock inside me. The world went fuzzy for a moment and everything got suddenly wetter and sloppier and ten times as humid, the air itself hot as steam off an engine. Soda pressed himself deeper, impossibly deep, as my insides melted open that last tiny bit. He unlatched his teeth from my shoulder, threw his head back, and came with a violent shudder and his mouth stretched around a silent "oh."

He came inside me, I thought in a daze. He really did it. And for the briefest of moments I believed it could work, that I really could have Soda's baby, and I was deliriously happy.

Then Sodapop collapsed, and if I'd thought he was dead weight before. "Can't breathe," I wheezed, once I recovered my voice.

Soda groaned and rolled off, circling his arms around my waist to pull me onto my side with him. I let my leg stay hooked over his hip, keeping him close, keeping him inside. I wasn't ready to let go of him or give up the sweet, achy sensation of such fullness.

Soda raised a trembling hand to my cheek and stroked his thumb under my eye. He brought our foreheads together and we lay there, just breathing. I clenched down a few times, wringing the last dregs of pleasure from my body and feeling Soda's reaction. His stomach tensed, his eyes fluttered closed, lashes tickling my face, and he moaned softly. He pressed his lips to mine and kissed me, sweet and slow, luxuriating in it.

We made out lazily for minutes, too tired to move anything but our mouths. We touched the tips of our tongues together and took turns sucking and licking along them, just for fun. Then finally, with a sigh heaved from the depths of the earth itself, Soda pulled his softened dick out of me. Glory, but I was so wet back there I had to fight the urge to cover myself and run straight to the bathroom.

Soda crept his fingers down my backside and found my hole, all fuck-tender and loose. He grunted in contentment as he played with it, rubbing in circles and gentling his fingertips inside one at a time. I hid my burning face in his chest. Soda would never make fun, but self-consciousness was creeping up on me now the heat of the moment had passed. Where the hell had that even come from?

Sodapop dragged his fingers along my crack and a sluggish thrill pulsed through me. His fresh seed was still inside me, while his release from our previous rounds had dried down the insides of my thighs. Lord, I was covered in it. He was right, I'd be getting pregnant for the fifth time right now if I were a girl.

I shuddered. Hell, if I had been born a girl, it wouldn't be silly or stupid or weird to be thinking about it. If it had to be anyone's baby, I'd want it to be Soda's. If I had a womb and could grow a child inside me, I'd give him one, sister or no. Anyone would be lucky to have a part of my brother living inside them, lucky to give him the most precious gift of all.

It took me a few tries to finally speak up. "I would, you know." My voice was hoarse and muffled against the smooth firmness of his pecs.

"Mm?" he asked sleepily.

"If I…" I swallowed. "If I were your sister."

Soda went still, but for the steady rise and fall of breath within him. Then he pressed a kiss to my hair, so brotherly it was a shock when he slipped a whole finger inside at once. He curled it and scooped out his come. I shivered as it oozed hot down my crack and over my butt cheek.

"Real good thing you ain't," he whispered.

Glory, the things he did to me.

"I mean it, Soda. I wish I could. You… I know you want a kid. I'm sorry I can't—" Suddenly I was choked up and couldn't go on.

"Hey, hey, honey," Soda said, voice rumbling in his chest. He stroked my hair. "Don't you worry yourself now. Don't you worry 'bout that."

He shushed and pet me until my breathing steadied. Soda didn't seem upset, but still I told him, quietly, "You'd be a great dad."

He kissed my head again, and I knew he was smiling. He sighed, warm and happy, and nuzzled into my hair. "'S'okay, Ponyboy. Already got my baby right here."

I laughed wetly into his skin. "You're such a sap."

He chuckled. I wound my arms around his neck, tilted my head back, and leaned in for a kiss.

...

Read on AO3

[startanewdream]

Hey, a guy who suggested that Snape's reactions to Sirius/Lily bond here😅. First of all, THANK YOU so much😭, I'm sure this is going to be an excellent and very satisfying content to read, simply can't wait!

But since you mentioned you don't have all yet, I'd like to suggest one if you don't mind - please include a one where Order members come back from some mission (somewhen around OotP) and Sirius and Lily clean each other's wounds. But since they're too tired for magic they do it old fashioned way which means Lily is touching Sirius' bare chest and Sirius is touching Lily's upper body which has only bra on it.

Of course it's completely platonic for Sirius and Lily because they're completely comfortable with each other (and too worried about each other to think about stuff like this) but OH MY GOD, Snape's reaction at the sight and his inner thoughts would be PURE GOLD.

I know I promise more scenes but I just wanted to post this one sooner because this prompt was far too brilliant (and the other scenes are far less troubled — I think I'm done writing from Snape's pov truly). Fair warning that Snape's POV here is very biased and he doesn't handle it well 😏

Rated M for some cursing. 2k words of something.

***

Lily Potter was hurt.

He shouldn’t have gone to Grimmauld Place. Severus had done his part already; he’d translated Potter’s yells to the Order, had let them know that the brat somehow got in his mind the idea that Sirius Black (Padfoot, his friends had called him, thinking they were so clever with childish nicknames) had been captured by the Dark Lord, and had warned them when the kid had ran off dragging his stupid friends. That was all that was required of him.

He couldn’t know there would be a battle, couldn’t know that Lily Evans would be there fighting a Dark Lord that mostly wanted her dead, and yet—yet Dumbledore had told him, almost challenging to see how he still felt about her, that in the following battle Lily Potter had been hurt.

Dumbledore always called her Lily Potter, an unnecessary reminder that still stung. She wasn’t truly a Potter — she had lived more of her life as Lily Evans than she had ever been married to James Potter.

And if she were hurt—he had never told her how he felt, the lengths he had undergone to prove her his worth, how everything was about her. Lily should know, she deserved to know.

Grimmauld Place was quiet when he entered it. Snape hated that house, that gloomy place that Black owned as the spoiled pureblood he pretended he wasn’t; how hard it must have been, Severus always thought, to grow up with a house-elf tending to your needs, between richness and luxury, knowing his place on society, the eldest son of a noble family—

And probably because he had let his thoughts stray too near Sirius Fucking Black, he heard his loud laugh.

It was enough for the portrait of Walburga Black start screaming. Snape retreated hastily to the first room he found, just as he heard the sound of someone running the stairs.

“SHUT UP!” Yelled Black; there was a flash of light and the sound of the portrait’s screams died.

Snape peaked through the door; Black was still in the stairs, facing the other direction. He was panting, and if for anger or for running down the stairs, Snape could only guess. He wasn’t wearing any shirt, revealing muscled shoulders and back of someone who clearly had too much time to exercise and too little to do; then Black turned around—and of course he was fit, perfect biceps and torso, everything firmly shaped and did he shave his chest or—

And then a grim satisfaction broke through the acid that was bubbling inside him, because Black’s shapely chest was marked with purple bruises, giant spots that had probably hurt him when he had been hit, and how good was that—

“Sirius!”

Black turned again, following the same direction that Snape was now looking at, but from his angle he couldn’t see Lily. She sounded so disturbed…

“Come on! You won’t get away with this.”

Black sighed, shaking his head, but he climbed the stairs again. Severus hesitated for a moment before casting a Disillusionment Charm on himself; it wasn’t his best work, and if anyone would look directly in his direction, they might notice it, but he had to risk it, had to make sure that Lily Evans was fine…

Any worry they might notice him vanished from his mind when he reached the second floor. Black had entered one of the rooms of the house, and Lily was there, pulling him down to sit in the only bed of the room. She didn’t look hurt, though there was dried blood splattered in her jacket.

Snape looked at her, searching in her face for some sign of injury, or maybe that she was under pain, but there was only concern and it was directed straightly at the man that she was making sure was resting comfortable against the pillows of the bed.

“I am fine,” Black insisted, when Lily pulled a cauldron to the bedrest. 

“Of course you are,” she answered, flashing him a smile that made Snape’s inside churm. Black wasn’t fine, he couldn’t be with those injuries, and yet he was clearly pretending to look brave for Lily as if she was going to fall for this act—she had to see through him… “If you were good to go argue with that portrait.”

“I hate her more than I hate Death Eaters—and that’s a lot.”

She chuckled; it was a teasing laugh, one that made Black’s lips twitch as if he wanted to laugh as well.

“I mean it,” he insisted, sounding like a petulant child. Snape waited for Lily’s spurn; it never came. “She wasn’t one, but she supported them well enough, raised all properly Black Death Eaters—”

“Not you.” Lily’s voice was shimmering with warmth. “She could never break you.”

Black smiled. “I had a good influence,” he whispered, and then Lily turned her head to look at him. Snape couldn’t see the expression on her face, but he could see how Black’s eyes were shining, standing her gaze; Black looked greedy, demanding. There were only a few inches between their faces. 

Snape grabbed his wand, knowing he wouldn’t be able to help himself if Black threw himself over her, but after a moment Lily turned , moving away to bring the cauldron closer; Snape was glad that there was trouble in Lily’s green eyes now. She hadn’t felt comfortable with Black’s presence, she was repulsed by him…

“Lay back,” she told Black, and he did what was asked, laying still as Lily sat by his side, swirling the content of the cauldron. She grabbed a spoonful of the potion, a transparent almost-pasty liquid, and placed a few drops over the purple spots on Black’s chest.

He knew that Lily had always been an excellent potion maker, but still he wished that she had mistaken something, that the potion would burn through Black’s skin, melting his abs, unshaping his body, thinning him into nothing—

And for a brief moment, it seemed Snape’s wishes were granted.

“Ouch!” Black twisted in the bed, looking uncomfortable. “This burns.”

“Stop being a child,” answered Lily at once. Her words were scolding, but she sounded more fond than anything. “It will be better in a minute,” she assured, and then, without hesitation, as if that was the most normal thing in the world, she leaned closer, supporting her weight in the bed with one hand and caressing Black’s chest with the other hand.

No, it wasn’t a caress, she was just spreading the potion over his chest, and yet—her fingers were moving softly, smoothly, dancing over his skin. There was a smile on her lips that didn’t belong there; Black sighed contentedly, sinking his head into the pillows and closing his eyes.

“Fuck, this feels good,” he moaned.

“Oh, no more pretending this wasn’t hurting as hell?” She teased, amused.

“Not hell.” Her hand stopped moving for a moment, watching him. Black opened an eye, full of mischief. “Fine, but not a ninth-circle of Hell pain. Maybe a second-circle pain.”

Lily resumed her movement. “You could be in Heaven bliss if you haven’t acted all noble.”

Black opened both of his eyes now, but Lily didn’t meet his gaze; there was a severe frown on her forehead now. Black’s expression softened.

“I had to protect you,” he whispered.

That didn’t appease her. “It’s not your job, Sirius. I can take care of myself.”

“Of course you can, but—” He took her hand, intertwining their fingers, waiting until Lily looked him in the eyes. “I would never forgive myself if anything happened to you.”

There was a long moment of silence. Lily bit her lip and lowered her head, her hair creating a curtain over her face; Snape couldn’t see her expression, but he could see Black’s, and once again, over a thin layer of fondness, Black’s eyes were greedy, lustful, as they moved over Lily’s face, admiring her, desiring her. 

That was wrong, repulsive, and Snape wasn’t surprised when Lily hesitated: “Sirius—”

But Black ignored her. “Your turn,” he said, sitting on the bed, and pulling the cauldron to himself.

“I’m—”

“Let me guess, you are fine?” He winked at her. “I saw you wincing there. Left shoulder?”

Lily pulled away from him, crossing her arms; she looked annoyed, lips set in a thin line as if she was just considering not answering at all, but after a moment she sighed.

“Right,” she said, defeated, turning his back to him.

For a moment Snape thought she was staring directly at him, and he didn’t dare moving, but Lily’s eyes moved past him without noticing anything. She raised her hands to remove her jacket, but Black stopped her.

“Let me,” he offered. Lily nodded, just extending her arms to help him. Underneath her jacket, her shirt was soaked with blood.  Black hissed. “Fuck, Lils,” and he ripped her shirt, exposing her skin and the black bra she wore beneath it. 

She shivered, but made no movement to cover herself, standing half-naked with her bare back to Black. On her right side, from her neck to her shoulder, there was a long scarlet cut, dried blood around it. Sectumsempra, Snape realized with a sudden rush of fury; it had been misfired, luckily, or she would have bleed out by now, but still he promised he would find whoever had done it, not Lily—

And then his gaze fell, following the light of the necklace she wore, to the golden ring that was swinging over her chest. The ring shone, but he forgot it quickly; her skin was cream-coloured, with freckles splattered over her bosom, soft to look; her bra marked her curves, lifted her tits, and how he had dreamed of seeing her like this, of sliding down the strap of her bra to reveal all her beauty to him.

Once again it seemed his wishes were granted, for there was a hand carefully moving the strap of her bra down to the middle of her arm, revealing more of her skin, and something stirred inside him, blood rushing—then the rage renewed, for Black was touching her skin now, applying the potion over her cut, his fingers treading over her skin with far too much intimacy.

“Oh, god,” she mumbled, closing her eyes and arching her neck to give him better access. “I am an amazing potion maker.”

Black snorted; that brought a smile to her lips as if she had expected that reaction. Snape closed his fits, hatred filling him, even though he couldn’t take his eyes off the scene, of how Black’s hand was massaging her shoulder, his finger brushing over her chest, almost touching the exposed top of her tit.

“I would rather you were an amazing dueler,” said Black, voice barely repreensive. 

“I am.”

“And how did you get hurt?”

Lily hesitated for a moment. “Bellatrix,” she admitted at last. “Your cousin is a nasty piece.”

“I was dueling her.”

“Yeah, well.”

“Lily…”

She shivered. “She was aiming at your back, you were too close to the Death Veil and—I didn’t think, I had to do something, I—” And then she broke, turning around to face him, her lips trembling. “You nearly died, Sirius.”

“Who acted all noble now?” He asked softly, caressing her arms. “Such a Gryffindor of you.”

“Stupid and reckless?”

“And brave,” he assured, and Lily smiled nervously in answer. “Just don’t die on my account, I could never explain this.”

“No one would blame you,” she assured him, turning around again to allow him to finish applying the potion. "He wouldn't," she added, her voice so low that Snape almost thought he had imagined it.

Sirius sighed. “I know,” he admitted in a low voice. Then he shook his head, a devilish grin taking control of his features as he moved the cauldron back. “Do you remember what you used to do when Harry scraped his knees?”

Lily frowned, thoughtful. “I kissed—” And then Black placed a kiss on her bare shoulder, over her cut. “Sirius!”

Snape waited for a reprimand, an unquestionable reproval of Black’s lack of limits, but Lily was giggling. “This is disgusting,” she said, nothing in her voice betraying any hint of disgust as she brushed the potion out of his lips with the back of her hand.

“You love me,” Black said easily, surely, confidently, and Snape decided he couldn’t hear her confirmation, couldn’t deal with even the possibility that Lily Evans had fallen for Black—somehow that was worse than seeing her with Potter, not him, not Black—

He brushed something on his way out, the sound waking up Walburga Black’s portrait again, and he welcomed the yells, hoping it was enough to dwindle any other sound he might hear in that house again.

[belphies-cuhm-sluht]

A continuation on the cheating Lucifer post plzzzz x

Mystic Rhythms (Lucifer x GN!MC)

A/N : I fell up my stairs today and bruised my kneecaps and my forearms when I tried to catch myself... That shit is embarrassing, especially when everyone runs out of their rooms to see you laying there trying to figure out what the fuck just happened. My knees hurt. But, anyway... The title is a song that I was listening to while I wrote this... It doesn't have anything to do with the writing at all, it's just a damn good song. Mystic Rhythms by Rush, highly recommend.

Part 1

Word Count : 2k T/W : cheating ; mentions of cheating ; Lucifer being a flat out dickhole ;

There was no way that you could possibly leave. Lord Diavolo wouldn’t allow it, would he? Of course not. In a matter of days you would emerge from your room, running back through the doors of his office to tell him how much you missed him. He was sure of it, his pride wouldn’t let him think any different. He would go about his days as if nothing happened, because in his mind, nothing happened at all. It was a little bit of fun to take his mind off of the stress that came along with his work, and yes, he could have gone to you for that kind of fun, but he also needed a little bit of change, a little bit of something to keep things interesting. It wasn’t exactly his fault that you happened to catch him having his fun. You shouldn’t have been out of the house anyway, a matter that he would have to handle with his brothers. They should have been watching you, making sure that you didn’t leave the house at all. Surely they know how dangerous the Devildom is outside of the House of Lamentation. It was everyone else’s fault but his own, and he’d stick by that until you and everyone else believed him.

Days passed and the armchair across from his desk began to bother him. It was empty, the entirety of the office was empty. Things were quiet, not a peep from even his brothers who would usually barge in and bother him at any given moment. It used to be annoying, but now it just seemed strange that it wasn’t happening at all. Not only did the lack of his brother's constant interruptions cause him unease, but the lack of you. Was he so used to you being there that the absence was this bothersome to him? It shouldn’t be that way, it shouldn’t bother him at all, but he was finding it increasingly difficult to focus on his work without some sort of distraction. These distractions gave him breaks, they allowed his mind that tiny bit of time to relax, to ease the stress. Now there was nothing, nothing but the work in front of him, and it was, in a sense, almost worse than before you got there at all. Even then, he had his brothers to agitate him. Now it just seemed like they were avoiding him, or doing everything in their power to drive him nuts by not being around. It made no sense to him, none at all. He should be thankful for the silence, for the uninterrupted time that he was being given to finish his tasks at hand, but he wasn’t. His phone vibrated on the desk, and in the complete silence of his office it sounded so loud, loud enough to make him jump back for a moment before fumbling forward to grab it. There was no reason to be like this, his mind was reeling for no particular reason at all, at least that’s what he told himself. He told himself a lot of things, most of them were based on his pride, or they were based on the image of himself that he wanted everyone to believe was real. Much like the whole cheating thing, something that he’d never willingly admit to, he didn’t want anyone to think he was the kind of demon to do such a thing. Not only would it ruin his image, but it would ruin the image of Lord Diavolo who he was around more often than not. A little harmless fun shouldn’t potentially ruin the image of the Future King, should it? There it was again, his subconscious mind speaking what he couldn’t out loud, taking his mind off of the phone that was now in his hand until it vibrated again. He assumed that it was you, prideful assumptions based off of thoughts that held no reason. If he were to be honest with himself, he knew that there was no reason for you to call him at all. If he were to be fully honest with himself, he knew all too well that there was no way for you to call him or message him at all if you had really done what you said you would do. But being honest with himself isn’t something that he’s good at. Being honest with anyone isn’t his best skill. There was no need to be honest when lies are much easier to live with. “You’ve been silent for a while, is everything alright?” The message read, and the name at the top wasn’t one that he’d like to see, but it was one that he knew well. Silence, it was becoming something that he was surrounded by. He wasn’t silent, but the world around him seemed to turn that way. It was penetrable and unbearable, he couldn’t take it for a moment more. With the push of a button and a swipe of his gloved finger, he quickly turned off his phone and placed it back on his desk. They could bear the silence for a little while longer, but he couldn’t. He needed to talk to someone, he needed to talk to you, even if it meant that you were yelling at him, screaming at him for the acts that he committed. His office wasn’t the only room that way empty, the house itself seemed to have been abandoned. There were no sounds of life coming from any of his brother's rooms, and he found it hard to imagine that all of them had a place to be that wasn’t inside these four walls, especially Leviathan. This only had him moving faster down the corridor until he finally reached the door to your room. He didn’t bother with knocking, the sound of his knuckles against the wood would be deafening in the silence. With a quick turn of the doorknob it was pushed open, revealing to him the truth of

the words that you had said when you walked out of his office. You were gone, you had actually left, and whether you had actually gone back up to the human realm or just gone somewhere else in the Devildom, one thing was clear. You didn’t want to be around him, you didn’t even want to be under the same roof as him, and it seemed that his brother’s felt the same way. He was alone, and as pleasant as the thought seemed to him before, now it scared him.

You sat on the bed in your room, looking up at the six demons who refused to let you go alone. They had tried to make you stay in the Devildom, but upon hearing about what Lucifer had done, they completely understood why you’d want to leave, as hard as it was for them. It didn’t change the fact that they cared about you though, far more than anyone you had ever known, and they weren’t going to leave until they knew for a fact that you’d be safe without them. “Is there any way that you can fix her D.D.D so that it’ll work up here?” Satan asked, looking over at Levi who was awkwardly looking around your bedroom. You weren’t sure if his demeanor was based on the fact that he was in someone’s room other than his own, or if it was the fact that he was in your room, but Satan’s question had him stumbling over his words for a second before answering his brother. “I’m… I’m not sure. I-It’s never been done before, I’ve never had to do it… It might take a couple days… J-Just to figure everything out… You know…” He ran his hand through his hair before sitting down on the floor, nervously twirling the drawstrings of his sweatpants around his finger as the motors in his mind seemed to visibly turn. You didn’t want him to overthink it, and you didn’t want him to stress himself out by thinking too hard about it, so you quickly slid off the edge of your bed to sit next to him on the floor, patting his knee and giving him a little smile. “Don’t worry too much about it right now, alright? We’ll figure something out.” Your hand on his knee had his cheeks burning bright red, but he quickly nodded in agreement, and you could almost see the stress leaving him as he finally relaxed. “So, since you all are here… I can order some food to the house for dinner?” It was strange having them all there, well, all but one of them… It was strange, yet comforting. You didn’t want to be alone, not right now, not after everything that happened, so you were grateful for their presence. The mention of food had Beel lighting up, practically dropping to the floor next to you and wrapping his arm around your shoulder. “Dinner and movies? Human world movies? And since Levi said it could take a few days, we can all stay here and sleep in your room, right?” It was impossible to tell him no, he looked so excited at the thought of it, and everyone else in the room had perked up at his words. There was no way that they would all be able to fit in your bed though, and all of them sleeping on the floor didn’t sit right with you. You’d have to figure something out, and it would most likely turn into a shopping trip to buy more blankets and pillows just so they’d be comfortable. The thought of a sleepover, in a sense, was nice though. It would be the perfect way to keep your mind off of everything, for you to relax, laugh, and have some fun with your six favorite demons.

The door knocked just as the six of you settled into the couch, the movie had just been unpaused and everyone was taking the first bites of their pizza slices. Everything had been delivered, there was no reason for the door to knock, so you decided to ignore it, just as all the other brothers did, hoping that whoever it was would take the hint and go away. That wasn’t the case though, and the knock came louder this time, almost like whoever it was was trying to break down your door. “You don’t have to pause it… Maybe it’s the delivery guy… Maybe I forgot something…” You shrugged, pushing yourself up from the couch and walking over to the door. You weren’t expecting anyone, you weren’t expecting anything, and you surely weren’t expecting him. Your stomach dropped when you saw him, his crimson eyes boring into your own. “I see you have quite the party going on here. Shame I wasn’t invited since I am the reason for this gathering, am I not?” It seemed that in that moment, time stood still. The wind that had been rustling the leaves of the trees had suddenly come to a stop, the sounds of the movie behind you had gone silent, even the sound of fabric brushing against itself whenever the brothers shifted on the couch wasn’t heard anymore. Everything had gone still, everything had become eerily quiet, and the only things you could hear was Lucifer’s voice and the sound of your heart beating faster in your chest. “Oh, don’t worry darling. I only had to take care of a few minor details, just to make sure our conversation wasn’t interrupted by my brothers.” His smirk sent shivers down your spine and had your stomach doing flips. This was the last place you expected to see him, but then again, you had told him that you wanted to leave. The only thing was, you didn’t expect him to follow you. It had taken days for you to convince Lord Diavolo to let you go back to the human realm, especially with all the other brothers begging you not to, begging Lord Diavolo not to agree, but he had finally allowed it, and that was the day that Lucifer decided to come to you. It was pathetic, and seeing him made you physically ill, but you had to stay strong just as you had before. “What are you doing here?”

[gallaghersgal]

Songbird c2: Honey Hi || Frankie Morales

Pairing: Frankie Morales × gn!reader

Summary: A couple weeks after first meeting the kind bartender with the warm brown eyes, you begin to get to know him better.

Warnings: none ??

A/N: I can't believe im already losting chapter 2 what the hell its only been a week since this idea came to me

Wordcount: 2k

Series Masterlist

xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx

You stood back, looking at the loose outline of a song you had just scrawled across the chalkboard wall in your room. You had a good feeling about this one. All you needed was one good afternoon to sit down and put it to music before it would be ready for the citizens of Boston. You had picked up a couple of regulars after eight months of busking, they enjoyed your original songs and had even bought the shitty CDs you'd made with a mixture of covers and original material. Speaking of busking...

You looked out your window to make sure the bright, cloudless sky hadn't changed since sunrise, then grabbed your acoustic guitar and headed out.

The sun shined on you as you made your way through the streets of Boston, past restaurants and studios, across crosswalks and through the crowds. As you passed the Sunrise Theater, your thoughts fell warmly on the fond memories you had already made there. It had been a few weeks since Rumors in the Night started weekly gigs there. The money was doing you well, but you still took to the streets two or three times a week. It wasn't even really for the money, although a couple extra dollars from passerby was a bonus. What you really loved was the performance, sharing a part of yourself with an indifferent world. If you could bring a smile to the face of just one lonely passerby, you felt you had done good.

You set up in the shadow of a bank, in a small alcove where the walls would push your voice outwards. You sat your donation jar at your feet and unzipped your guitar case, pulling it out and beginning tuning. When everything was set, you began to sing.

"Honey, honey, honey / Who could be sweeter than you / Honey, honey, honey / Bitter sweet, but what can I do." 

You were completely carefree, singing on the streets of Boston. This city was beginning to feel a bit like home, although you knew you wouldn't be here for long. Your eyes were still fixed on LA, on the lights of Hollywood. You longed to see your name in lights, headlining at the Hollywood Palladium. 

"Lord it's been good to talk to you / Even sweeter than wine / Don't take the love light away / Cause I'm far away from home / Daddy, all I'm trying to tell you / Lord, I really love you, love you, love you."

This was a good song to warm up with, medium paced and not too vocally challenging. It sounded better with a full band, though. You would have to ask Fatima if you could put it on the setlist for your gig in the park this weekend.

"Honey, honey, honey, hi / honey, honey, honey hi / honey, honey, honey hi."

You watched a child come up and drop a few coins into your jar and you smiled, leading straight into your next song. You ran through Have You Ever Seen The Rain by Creedence Clearwater Revival, Waiting on the World to Change by John Mayer, Silver Springs by Fleetwood Mac and a couple others you had in your repertoire. You liked to finish up with Thank You for the Music by ABBA, it was a favorite of yours but it took a while to warm up for.

"Thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing / Thanks for all the joy they're bringing / Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty / What would life be? / Without a song or a dance what are we? / So I say thank you for the music / For giving it to me."

There was no one around, but you didn't care. This song meant something to you, and you were going to sing it for the world to hear.

"So I say / Thank you for the music, for giving it to me."

As you finished the song, a familiar face appeared in front of you. 

"You take requests?" Frankie asked, a smile tugging at his lips. 

You chuckled, grabbing our water bottle and taking a quick sip. "Yeah, if I know 'em. I was just about to pack up for lunch but one more song won't hurt. For a friend, of course."

"A friend?" he asked, a gleam in his eye.

"An acquaintance. Someone I know. But anyway, hit me."

"Landslide," he said, and you rolled your eyes. "What!? It's my favorite."

"You could pick something a little more original," you teased as you tucked your pick into your pocket and started to pluck the opening of the song. Frankie backed up against the lamp post to your right, settling his arms across his chest.

"I took my love, I took it down / I climbed a mountain and I turned around / and I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills / 'til the landslide brought me down."

The song was well known, and it brought you a small crowd almost immediately.

"Oh mirror in the sky, what is love / can the child within my heart rise above / can I sail through the changing ocean tides / can I handle the seasons of my life," you smiled softly, looking at the faces around you as they stopped to watch. 

"Well I've been afraid of changing cause I built my life around you / but time makes you bolder even / even children get older / and I'm getting older too."

You closed your eyes, letting the music take you over. You lost yourself in the song until it was over and the five or so people around you were clapping quietly and nodding in appreciation. 

"Thank you, thank you," you stooped to place your guitar in its case, watching from the corner of your eye as the onlookers drop a dollar or two into your jar. You looked up when you saw a twenty flutter into the jar, your eyes meeting Frankie's kind gaze.

"No, no I can't-"

"Nonsense," he said, "I liked your music, and you deserve it."

You zipped up your guitar case, taking the bill from the jar and pressing it back into Frankie's hand. "I can't take your money, Frankie."

He chuckled at your persistence. "Alright, alright. You said you were headed to lunch?"

You shrugged, "I was gonna go home, maybe make myself some ramen…"

"On a day like this?" Frankie shook his head, then jerked it to the side, asking for you to follow him. "C'mon, we're getting you some real food."

You huffed out a breathless laugh as you slung your guitar case across your back. "Maybe that's a good idea. I've been living here for nine months and the only restaurant i've ever really been to is the Thai place over on Matthews."

"You can't be serious," his voice was thick with disbelief as he looked back at you. You nodded, confirming your statement was true and he hadn't heard you wrong.  "What about the others, Ezra and them… Are they the same?"

"Ezra's a native Bostonian, but he's not big on restaurants. Julian and Cade both moved here around a year ago and me and Fatima have been here for nine months, we moved together. So we're all pretty new here, except for Ezra." You watched with curious eyes as Frankie waved to a man across the street selling snow cones. He was just so personable, no wonder it felt like you'd known him forever even though it had only been a couple of weeks since you met. He adjusted his gait for a second so you'd fall into place beside him, and for a moment you felt your heart flutter. 

"I'm from Eastern North Carolina, originally-"

"I can hear it, you've got a bit of an accent," there was a twang to some of the words he spoke, something that gave him a bit of a southern gentleman flair. And he was a gentleman, as far as you could tell.

He laughed at that, nodding in agreement. "Folks here say that too. I moved her when I was eighteen but I guess it never really left me."

"You can take the man out of the south-"

"But you can't take the south from the man," Frankie finished. His cheeks were tinted a little pink, a smile falling into place on his lips.

Momentarily, you paused to admire him. "Do you miss home?"

He shrugged, "Yeah, I miss it sometimes. I go back once a year over the summer, to visit my family. My sister and my nephews are still down there, and my mom and dad. But this is my home now, I don't think I'll ever leave."

You found yourself in front of a corner hotdog shop, and Frankie opened the door for you. The place looked like it was straight out of the 60's, checkered tile and all. "This is real food?"

Frankie looked offended as he sat down in one of the booths. "And here I thought you'd appreciate this," he pulled one of the menus out and handed one to you as you slid in across from him. 

You looked over the menu, looking for something that would catch your eye. "What do you suggest," you asked Frankie, laying your menu flat and tucking your feet up under the booth so you wouldn't kick him.

"This." He pointed out a burger, and you had to admit it looked good. "Best burger I've ever had, I swear on everything holy you'll love it."

The waiter came and took your orders, you got the burger Frankie had suggested and a strawberry milkshake to go with it. Afterwards, you found yourself staring off at the Jukebox by the counter. You wondered what they had in there, and if it was automated or authentic.

As if reading your thoughts, Frankie tossed you a quarter. You barely caught it, watching in confusion as he stood. "It's old school, just like everything else in here." You followed him over to the jukebox, and laughed when he pulled out a pair of reading glasses to see the small print of the track listing.

"What are you, fifty?" you teased.

"Watch it," he returned with a playful glare. "I'm paying for your lunch."

"Frankie you don't have to-" you started, but he shook his head.

"I'm paying, end of story. Can't have you thinking I'm not a gentleman." Your eyes fell on the gentle crinkles by his eyes that showed up when he smiled, and you wondered how anyone could mistake him for anything other than a gentleman. But you kept your mouth closed. "Now c'mon, pick a song, Songbird."

* * * * * * * * * * *

That night you found yourself sitting with Fatima, eating ice cream and watching a baking marathon on the food network. But your thoughts weren't on the contestants' lemon meringue pies. You were staring at the wall, your lunch with Frankie running through your head. Your lunch… date? No, that wasn't a date. That was just a lunch between acquaintances. Between friends.

You began to turn to Fatima, but as always she was ahead of you. She had turned down the TV and was already turned towards you, waiting. "He likes you."

You weren't even surprised, Fatima knew you better than anyone else. Of course she knew what you were thinking. "You think so?" you asked, and Fatima glared at you.

"Yes, I know so."

You tucked your knees against your chest, pulling your spoon out of your tub of Ben and Jerry's and chewing on it a little. Frankie was a kind man, you didn't want to read too much into his actions. But still, he had taken you out to lunch. And payed for your meal. And given you a nickname. "He called me songbird," you mused.

"Thats… That's adorable oh my god." Fatima sighed wistfully, eating a spoonful of her ice cream. "You should invite him to the show on Saturday!"

"I did. Well, I really just told him about it. But he said he'd be there. Is Landslide on the setlist?" you asked, and Fatima nodded. "Good. It's his favorite."

"What would you say if he asked you out?"

"I think…" you paused, but there was no need to. "I think I'd say yes."

End.

Permanent Taglist: @poestardust @tinyphantomsalad @thelazyhero-ttums @poe-djarin @djarinsidebitch

Pedro Taglist: @blackmarketmummy @coldlilheart @agentshortstacc

Frankie Taglist: @remmysbounty

[mallowstep]

I just thought about this

Do you think the Clan cats might ever have some form of PTSD from eather witnessing another cats death in any form like in battle or another disaster or even killing another cat themselves

I really do want to expand on this

okay matthew from the end of this post here it turns out i have a lot of thoughts and talked for like, almost 2k words about this. sorry. there's a tldr at the end.

hmmmmm

my official answer is, "sure, anything is possible, especially if you want to explore that."

my more rambly answer is...kind of.

we're just going to jump straight in with serious cat talk here, but cats? those mofos are killing machines. they are highly efficient hunters. kind of like people and creating things.

on the other hand, cats are also huge cowards who don't like to fight. hence cat and mouse: the cat doesn't want to go in for the kill unless they're sure they can execute it.

i like to think of them as a very krav maga idea: "we don't fight unless we absolutely have to, but once we go in, we go all in."

so...on one hand, "do cats experience ptsd from killing each other?" feels kind of like asking, "do humans experience ptsd from making things?", and yet, that's clearly extremely reductive.

it's also worth talking about what ptsd is. it's easy to think of ptsd as equivalent to trauma, but it's not.

trauma is, well, traumatic events, ptsd is one possible response. most people who experience trauma do not develop ptsd.

(there's also c-ptsd, but i'm getting to that.)

ptsd is, basically, an overactive adrenaline response, basically. it can look similar to depression and anxiety, but it's not the same. things like flashbacks and triggers are not exclusive to ptsd, or even any specific mental illness. it's normal to experience ptsd-like symptoms after a traumatic event. that's a traumatic response.

ptsd is, instead, the unhealthy extension of that, in time, and possibly severity.

before i go any farther, i just want to say, this is not to say you need to have ptsd to have trauma, that you can't have ptsd/trauma if XYZ, etc., so please, give me the benefit of the doubt here. it's always tricky to word these things in a way that is both clear about what i mean and not harming people.

mental illness is always a tricky subject. trying to fit a sum of many symptoms into boxes will never work, but i am going to lean on it as a tool to categorize and discuss experiences in a general sense.

i also want to mention c-ptsd, or "complex post-traumatic stress disorder." this is a debated diagnosis, in that where it fits into mental illness boxes is argued and it's yet to be included in the dsm, but for now, it's sufficient to think of it as ptsd's fraternal twin.

c-ptsd develops when trauma is prolonged, and there's little/no chance of escape. think kidnappings and child abuse.

it shares a lot of symptoms with ptsd, but it has its own unique cluster of symptoms, especially surrounding relationship issues.

right. we can rule that off for things cats typically experience from battle. but i still want to talk about it.

but ptsd is in reference to human reactions to trauma, which is fine! all warrior cats are at least a little anthropomorphised, or it wouldn't be fun to read about.

okay, before i lose the thread, circling back to my point, the conditions for ptsd are a prolonged response to a traumatic event. i, personally, don't think that your everyday warrior is going to experience this. some amount of battle is normal for cats, yeah?

but i do think ptsd/ptsd-like conditions are quite possible. i'm going to move into a discussion of various characters, now, and i'll put that under a read more.

okay, let's examine a few different cats, starting with mudfur.

why mudfur? because he chooses to be a medicine cat specifically because the battles of being a warrior are too much for him. does this mean he's experiencing ptsd? no, i don't think so. we never see any indication of him having flashbacks or hypervigilance. mind, i have

okay sorry you uh

i took a break to read mothwing's secret

see i've been putting it off bc i knew it was going to make me feel things and lord it did

phew

well i was going to talk about mothwing but first, back to mudfur

i can now confirm that we don't see any evidence of ptsd in him. trauma, maybe, but not ptsd.

which...checks.

next cat, ivypool.

but my ivypool, not canon ivypool, because i gave ivypool ptsd.

if you haven't read it, hedera helix is my canon compliant ivypool series, and you can get the Deets there, but i think "fair is the night" is the piece to focus on here. specifically,

The dark is the same, and the heat, and the way she slinks through the shadows, trying not to take notice. The way every pawstep is echoingly loud, and how she can't catch her breath or find her thoughts over the noise. All that's missing is.

Him.

Maybe Ivypool does still dream.

She hisses, her belt bristling, tail lashing, and raises her paw, claws extended.

what's going on here is that she mistakes tigerheart for hawkfrost.

yes, she has ptsd.

she also has c-ptsd in my writing, but i don't want to talk about this at the moment, because ivypool is complex, and i don't feel like bringing dovewing into this. but no, this is her having ptsd from her (dark forest) mentor trying to kill her. a cat she, at least on some level, trusted turning on her and attempting to kill her.

so for ivypool, it's the unexpected that traumatizes her.

which i think makes sense: cats don't generally expect to be attacked by those they trust. which leads me into...

character three: bluestar.

now, bluestar is complex because of the dementia, but i think it's pretty easy to say: tigerclaw (a cat she trusts) betrays her, she gets hypervigilant and stops trusting people.

i'm deliberately going short on this because i'm at almost a thousand words and uh,, i just want to talk about mothwing.

mothwing. my baby. my beloved. my beautiful.

fuuuuck okay so i should not have read mothwing's secret because this is going to turn into me writing mostly about that, but i actually knew 90% of what was contained in it through moonkitti videos + doing research for various mothwing related projects.

i think the only thing i learned was the moonkitti scene about bees is actually completely canonical, as written, and that it was possible for me to love mothwing more than i already do.

usually, i'd want to also talk about willowshine, but i'm going to keep my focus on mothwing. willow my love is going to come up, but i'm keeping my focus tight.

mothwing! onto my purpose: mothwing and c-ptsd and religious trauma.

she will get her own essay i have a document titled "mothwing and religious trauma" but with trope-bingo i've been writing the essays less, so bear with me.

anyway. i'm not waffling, i'm just trying to set up a good starting point so i don't ramble past the purpose. and i think...the scene with mudfur and mothwing near the end is what i'm honing in on. (spoilers, duh, but also, you don't need to have read it.)

so mudfur comes to mothwing after the battle, and she turns him away. he doesn't understand, but i do.

religion has been used against mothwing her entire life. her clan used it (inadvertently) to keep her from her purpose, hawkfrost used it to maintain his control over her, and mistystar used it to again keep her from her purpose and passion. (and yes, i have strong feelings about what this does to willowshine, but i'm trying to stay on-topic.)

and then, the first tangible proof she has of starclan is the dark forest. and her brother. attacking the nursery. and her.

and then mudfur has the audacity to say, "yeah sorry we don't know anything! but like why are you still rejecting us?"

(makes me want to rewrite the ending of "if you love me any, let me know it now" actually, i'm angry. not going to, but i want to.)

adfskjl mothwing is my new purpose for existing. i may actually consider changing my blog title from "in this house we lovewing dovewing" to something mothwing themed. i love her. expect a mothwing focus sometime soon-ish.

right, so, i don't think mothwing's perspective needs to be explained here. but...she is very self-aware of her position. she struggles with it. she doesn't want to talk to willowshine about her beliefs — she's grateful when willowpaw just accepts it and doesn't discuss it with her.

mothwing as a character has always been appealing to me. but. again, trying to keep focused, her brother is manipulative and cruel.

(i'm not saying abusive because i don't know if he really is. i'd want to do a proper analysis for that, not just ramble in a blank document for a while. he's toxic, but i try to reserve abusive for abusive characters. i think he is, but i don't know how i would defend that, ergo, i'm avoiding it for now.)

just. her whole life.

she spends a long time trusting others, looking to starclan for answer and salvation, and it keeps letting her down, and others keep using it against her, like a weapon. there's a lot to mothwing, but i'm really trying to stay on topic.

before i get to my closing arguments, some honorable mentions for characters i didn't talk about, but could have:

squirrelflight

feathertail, stormfur, and mistyfoot

dovewing

briarlight. okay she's such a good honorable mention i just have to explore this for a second, but the scene in bramblestar's storm where she's afraid of falling trees is good. i don't know, she seems fairly functional, but she's definitely not "over it."

anyone captured by twolegs.

tawnypelt

bramblestar. before you gasp, he too trained in the dark forest and was manipulated by hawkfrost and tigerstar.

probably a lot more.

so anyway, if you hung around for nearly 2k words to listen to me talk about cat trauma, here's my closing statement:

i think ptsd in clan cats is definitely going to be a thing, but i think, more often than not, it's not going to come from the battle. we looked at several examples where the incident happened during a battle, but i think it's the betrayal that's more shocking than the actual fighting.

i didn't address ptsd from cats killing each other, other than mudfur, and that's...frankly that's because i don't know. it is very hard for me to sympathize with those characters long enough to think critically about it.

like, i can write villain pov, but i don't think i can actually say, "what if XYZ feels bad for killing someone?" even if i was going to write about like, firestar killing scourge, i don't think i could.

not in this context, anyway.

similarly, i think a lot of what we'll see is trauma. cats are already extremely vigilant, and while it's possible to get hypervigilant cats, i'm not sure how often it's going to come out. cats are good at hiding physical pain, ipso facto, i imagine they're good at hiding emotional pain.

which isn't to say that they...you know what? you know what? if you want to come argue with me about human ptsd, you can do that on my main. but i'm talking about cats, and i say that they probably don't experience ptsd because they probably shove away a lot of the external symptoms, and that's mostly how we identify ptsd. this is not an end-all be-all, nor does it apply to people, but i don't know how to begin couching this, and i'm tired.

alright, well...

tl/dr: yes, trauma and maybe ptsd occur in clan cats, but i think it's more likely to be from betrayal than fighting.

dkjl this was a lot if u have follow up qs or just wanna discuss this my ask box is open! <3

[manggaetteokkie]

So what are your top 5 favorite BTS songs and then top 5 favorite BTS videos?

Then what are you top 5 favorite Jikook moments? Lol Haaaard questions

Gonna combine these two cause I think these are from the same anonie, who I’m starting to think likes to make people suffer djfhskdh (if it’s not from the same person, then big rip) 

Sorry this took so long, I was really trying to narrow it down to top 5 and I think I still ended up failing... I actually do this with my friends but usually, we’re a little bit more generous by narrowing it down to stuff like: top 5 title tracks, top 5 rap-line, top 5 vocal line, top 5 albums, etc... Asking me top 5 songs from their entire discography is absolutely savage.

For my top 5 BTS songs (IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER BECAUSE I BARELY NARROWED IT DOWN TO FIVE, YOU CANT MAKE ME RANK THEM):

Blood Sweat & Tears: the monarch, the goat, putting it simply, the absolute best. I honestly remember when the Wings short films started dropping, my friend and I panicked HARD because we were like “WTF IS GOING ON WHAT IS THIS”. And then the teaser dropped, and it was so different from the “typical” BTS we’ve been getting, so we were even more confused. But then... The MV dropped and that was honestly just such a massive turning point for everything. Also, as an ARMY with a Jimin bias, I almost didn’t survive it.

Attack on Bangtan: okay this is honestly just such a fun hype song that never gets old no matter how many times you listen to it? It’s honestly a classic and whenever it plays on Run BTS, I know I’m either about to witness an epic moment or it’s gonna send my ass on the floor from laughing. (Also, let us never forget Tae’s “Nico nico niiii~”)

I Need U: okay this was The song that got me learning all their names and holy shit, I’ve listened to this song so much, it’s currently 5th most played song (out of nearly 2k songs) in my iTunes with 1,338 plays. When one hears “Fall...”, one does not simply resist the urge to belt “EVERYTHANG” with feelings. Also, funnily enough, the one that first caught my eye was Yoongi, there was something so eye-catching about the way he rapped in such a despondent manner at the start of the mv. 

House of Cards: I definitely need to put this one because I’ve listened to this song a total of 2,104 times, if you add the Prologue (short) version total (861) to the full length one (1,243). This was my “hoe” anthem long before My Time was born. I deadass fell in love with the song 10 seconds in, there was no saving me and you cannot stop anyone from doing emo bodyrolls when it comes up. Jikook’s bridge? I can’t sing to save my life but you can bet your ass I’m lipsyncing to that shit every single time.

I HATE THIS. I HATE PICKING THE LAST ONE, I WANT TO FIT THEIR ENTIRE DISCOGRAPHY INTO THIS LAST SPOT FFFFFFF.

And now, the last one... can I cheat and throw Euphoria, Serendipity and Seesaw all at my 5th spot? Cause I REALLY can’t pick one out of these 3 skjdhfkshdkf I have such an emotional attachment to Serendipity and Euphoria at this point (DJ Swivel remix of Euphoria? Hello?? I almost cried??? You are me, I am you?? HMMM????), and Seesaw just really surprised me. I absolutely was not expecting it, but holy shit, Seesaw slapped and it slapped hard. At this point, I’m like, anything Yoongi touches turns to absolute gold, I can’t resist him.

Okay I have so many other faves (Spring Day, Baepsae, etc.) but since you only asked for top 5 and not, like, top 100, I have to stop myself here, but I also very curious about your top 5s if you guys wanna share!! Let’s see how well you do, only narrowing it down to 5.

For my top 5 BTS videos (I only counted Bangtan Bombs and live performances, excluding MVs, since you didn’t specify. Otherwise there are too many... just thinking about how many Run BTS episodes I could fit otherwise lmfao):

Perfect Man: I’m a Jimin stan. What did you expect, me to not include this masterpiece??

As I Told You: Good lord, Jungkook was so fkn attractive in a hockey jersey of all things. I honestly loved it so much, I can listen to the live audio as is.

2018 MMA - IDOL Intro Performance (3J focus): Again, I am a Jimin stan. But seriously, from Hobi hitting every. single. beat. while dancing on a raised platform, to Jimin’s fan dance (I streamed the show live and I couldn’t focus on anything else after), to JK lounging like the absolute king that he is, what’s not to love?

It’s Tricky Bangtan Bomb: oldie but goldie, honestly. All of them were babies but holy shit, if their casual dancing didn’t absolutely make me fall in love with them all over again. It honestly never gets old no matter how many times I watch it.

BTS Carpool Karaoke: I have to admit, I honestly got stuck picking the last one so I went with this one because I feel like this is a really really good video to introduce others to BTS to. From their amazing acapella vocals (JK belting Finesse lives in my mind rent free) to how they were so perfectly themselves? You had Hobi’s sunshine smile in the middle, Baby Mochi, Jin’s “I don’t know what he said, but let’s laugh ha ha ha ha”, etc. 

Okay I have to admit something, I probably forgot like 90% of their videos so if any of you guys mention a video, I might go “AH SHIT I FORGOT ABOUT THAT ONE SKDJFHKSH” so take this list more as a “bangtan videos you should 100% watch” :^)

For my top 5 jikook moments (you absolutely devil, how could you ask me such a question), in no particular order because, again, I actually cannot physically bring myself to rank them:

Jimin comforting a crying JK during LY: (6:05) the way Jimin ran over as soon as he saw Jungkook bent over, facing the backstage. My heart. And he kept JK company for a bit, making sure he was fine before leaving. This whole thing just makes my heart melt into a puddle no matter how many times I think/see about it because it’s like, the timing is just? Anpanman barely started and he just looked over, saw, and ran over. Jesus Christ.

That Jikook moment during SY Seoul Finale: Just how much comfort Jimin must represent for Jungkook to let the dam free once again just seeing his face aghhhhhasgdahj I literally made an entire post about that moment because of how incredibly soft it gets me. I’ve linked it but it’s also my pinned so it’s very easy to find. 

“Are you guys dating?”: (start) holy shit okay so this moment is so sdjkfhkdshkfdhks the way both of them were so giggly? It never fails to make me laugh how absolutely done Joon sounded when he said “push quickly!” Also, just how soft did Jimin make his voice when he asked “are you ready”? and how JK, the single most competitive member of BTS, was just giggling the entire time and didn’t even try pushing Jimin before Jimin ended up eliminating himself. Not to mention how JK couldn’t into Jimin’s eyes and only finally made eye contact with at the very end :^)

MMA 2018: lmao okay so I’m just gonna throw this entire fkn night into the mix. I still remember how it was the wee hours in the morning for me when I started following the live stream and damn, they were literally inseparable the entire time. My TL was exploding in Jikook content and between watching them through the official broadcast and watching the fancams, I was BUSY. They did everything: whispering to each other’s ears, slinging their arms around each other’s shoulders, JK massaging JM’s nape, JK pulling JM down to sit... phew.

GCF in Tokyo: Okay so this is one of those things that the more you think about it, the more you can’t believe it’s real. I couldn’t not include this simply because of how meaningful the whole thing was. There’s so much about it that makes me ????? because JK really booked a two-person trip to Tokyo for Jimin’s birthday. And Jimin genuinely had fun on that trip. The whole thing just shows how comfortable the two of them are with each other because they’d never had gone on a trip together elsewise. I recently saw a Korean movie director’s reaction to GCF and the whole thing didn’t have any subs, but the two reactors were like “ohhh... these two... these two must be really close” (they’d reacted to BTS MVs before, but they’re not familiar with how the members are outside of that). From my limited Korean understanding, the movie director then commented “Because the model and the director are so close, it’s very natural” (if I’ve gotten any Korean followers, I’d love to get confirmation on the words said because my Korean understanding isn’t perfect and I don’t want to be spreading crap around). GCF in Tokyo is also the first video posted under the GCF label, with JK editing the whole thing himself. He filmed, he directed, he edited. And his main actor was Jimin.

I was this 👌🏻 close to adding LY lap sitting and Rose Bowl moments but I had other faves to include so I thought I’d go with something else :^) GCF forced its way into my list, I had no say in it.

Okay so I hope this was enough skdjfhkdshfs this post got really long cause I couldn’t help myself from giving reasons for why I included the ones I did, I’m sorry sjkfhdks Please feel free to share you’re own fave songs/videos/jikook moments!!

[ofheroesandvillains]

To Catch A Ghost - B.Russo - 1

Billy Russo x assassin!reader

Words: 2k Warnings: None  Summary: Post-season 1 of the Punisher. Billy helps Frank defeat Agent Orange, but doesn't realise that his initial involvement has landed him right in the middle of an investigation nobody knows about. 

I’ve had a Billy fic in my head for a very long time but I was always worried that I wouldn’t do the characters justice. I’ve decided to just go for it anyway, but please let me know if it’s something you’d like to see more of - I don't want to waste time on it if no one likes it haha! 

(Not my gif, credit to the creator!) 

“Y’know, I always knew I’d see one of you on my doorstep someday.”

He smiled. 

“Mind if I come in?”

You stepped aside with a sigh. At least he had the good manners to toe his shoes off before stepping inside. It hadn’t snowed in a few days but the dirt road leading to your little cabin was still predominantly sludge and you weren’t in the floor-scrubbing mood.

“This is...cosy.”

He looked about the room the same way you always did. Builders took their tools home with them, but people like you and Coulson, you took home vigilance. There was no telling when work would sneak up on you, and after spying the file in his hand, it was clear that now was one of those times. 

“Thanks, renovated it myself.” 

You made your way to the quaint little kitchen that sat attached to the living room. Bottled water, unopened. You knew it was all he’d take, and he probably wouldn’t drink it anyway. Again, vigilance. Or paranoia, you had a hard time telling which was which nowadays. 

Either way, he accepted the bottle with a smile.

“You know I’m retired, right?” you asked, making yourself comfortable on the plush chesterfield. “Handed in my resignation right after-”

“Right after the Triskelion, yeah.” Coulson nodded, making his way over to the armchair beside you. 

Your eyes narrowed as he leaned back into the leather, far more comfortable than expected.

He dropped the file on top of the small coffee table and cracked open his bottle of water. To anyone who didn’t know you, you could be two old friends sitting down after years apart and reminiscing about the good times. Except, there was a reason you hadn’t seen each other in so long, and good times were few and far between in your line of work. 

“I know what you’re doing, Coulson.” His brows shot up innocently. “I’m not taking another job.”

“Of course not. You’re retired.”

A strained silence stretched long enough to make you squirm in your seat. Your eyes were burning a hole through the folder as it sat there staring back at you. Coulson pretended not to notice, instead drumming his fingers against the armrest and feigning interest in the wooden beams overhead. 

You rolled your eyes with a huff. 

“Damn it.”

You swiped the folder off the table and didn’t need to look over to know he was smiling.  

The first page seemed to be a profile, the layout familiar but obscured by pictures. The couch dipped beside you. 

“William Rawlins, former CIA.”

You stared down at the middle-aged man in the photo with a grimace. His hair was sparse and he had a milky eye, but it was the self-important look on his face that didn’t sit well with you.

“Want me to kill him?”

Coulson huffed in what might have been a laugh, had you thought him capable. 

“No need, he’s already dead.” With that said, he removed the photo from the folder and placed it on the table. Beneath it was another face you didn’t recognise.

“Colonel Ray Schoonover. Former marine, turned drug lord.”

“I always liked a challenge.” Your lips twitched up, only to fall as Coulson put that photo right beside Rawlins’.

“Oh, he’s dead too.”

You shot him an exasperated look.

“Well, who the hell am I killin’ here, Coulson?” 

“Not killing, investigating. You’re investigating him.” He pointed down to the profile.

There were two photos of one William “Billy” Russo. The first was a typical military headshot. With his uniform and short hair, he looked a lot more baby-faced than he did in the full body shot below. There, he was pictured in a tailored suit, his face sterner and older - a man who’d seen too much in his short life. 

But none of that negated the fact that William Russo was a handsome man.

Your brows furrowed as you scanned through his details, and you looked back over at Coulson with a frown.

“You want me to...babysit a former Marine?”

“Investigate,” he repeated.

“Right,” you drawled. “And there’s no one else available? Like, no one at all?”

A sudden seriousness settled over him, and he gave you that same genuine look that always managed to rope you into life-threatening situations. You cursed yourself for respecting him as much as you did.

“No one I trust as much as I trust you.”

“Don’t let Nat hear you say that.”

You shared an amused glance.

“I wouldn’t be here if I thought anyone else could do this job, kid.” He sighed. “I know you’re out, but this guy’s good at spotting a tail. Agent Ramirez gave me his report from a hospital bed.”

You snorted. “I’m no spy, Coulson. What makes you so sure I won’t end up in that same bed?”

Coulson smiled. “Ramirez was a spy, you’re a ghost. A little harder to catch one of those in my experience.”

“Just my luck Romanoff’s a public figure now, huh?” 

You mulled over the idea, eyes unconsciously locked onto the darkest pair you’d ever seen. His numbers were impressive, but you’d seen better. You had better. Alright, Russo.

“What exactly am I looking for?”

---------

“Rawlins was heavily involved in multiple illegal operations over east and on home soil. Our main concern, however, was his involvement with HYDRA.”

“Why is it always HYDRA?”

“We know that Rawlins funded Russo’s company, ANVIL. But we don’t know the extent of their relationship.”

“In other words, you don’t know if this Russo guy’s taken it upon himself to finish whatever Rawlins started with HYDRA.”

“We need you to get close to him, find out if he knows anything.”

“If he does?”

“Then congratulations, Nine. You get to kill someone after all.”

---------

The best way to lure someone in was to stoke their curiosity, then pretend you wanted nothing to do with them - at least in your line of work. Make him think he’s approaching you, not the other way around, Nat’s voice echoed in your mind.

The little hole-in-the-wall dive bar he frequented when he wasn’t entertaining company, wasn’t much of a stretch from what you’d usually enjoy. Admittedly, you didn’t have many friends, and your cabin was isolated enough to ensure that the only interaction you usually got was on your trip to the store for your weekly haul. 

But this...it was nice. It would be even nicer without the wasted frat boys in the corner eyeing you while they decided which one was macho enough to try his luck.

They weren’t regulars. You’d been coming here for almost a month and had never seen them before. More importantly, you hadn’t been seen before either. Not by Russo, at least. That would all change tonight if things went according to plan. 

Wednesday night, an early finish at the office. Too early in the week to go wild, but late enough to enjoy a night out. 

By now, Reggie - the old bartender - knew your usual order without asking, and what little backstory you’d supplied was firmly cemented in his mind. He even flicked the game on for you with a wink - you’d raised your glass in thanks.  

“H- ehem...Hey…”

Your eyes barely drifted from the TV. A cursory glance was enough to confirm that one of the fledglings had finally plucked up the courage...or was too wasted to stay away. 

“What?” 

He swallowed thickly, and you almost felt bad when you considered just how young he looked. Was he even legal? 

His friends laughed on the other side of the room and he scowled over his shoulder at them before turning back with a smile. 

“Mind if I buy you a drink?”

“Sorry, I don’t accept drinks from minors.”

Apparently insulted, he stood a little taller, chest puffed out and lips pursed.

“I’m not a kid.”

“I didn’t say you were a kid. I said you were a minor.”

You saw him roll his eyes from the corner of your eye. Yeah, not a kid, you mentally scoffed.

“Would you just accept the damn drink?” 

“No.”

“Why?” He sounded exasperated, and you were just about at the end of your rope. 

You finally dragged your gaze from the TV and the look you shot him must have held the right amount of warning, because it certainly had the desired effect. His shoulders fell and he took a slow and sheepish step back.

“Because,” you began, voice low. “I said so. Now, beat it, kid. I’m trying to watch the game.”

He scurried off with his tail between his legs just as someone slipped into the seat beside you. 

“Ouch.” 

It was barely a word, but the way it rolled off his lips was smoother than the drink you were nursing. You didn’t need to turn around to know it was him, and you cursed his timing.

“Think he’ll walk it off?” He asked in good humour, before motioning to the bartender. 

You decided that the photographs didn’t do him justice. Even when he traded his suits for his sweaters, he still looked better than any mark you’d tailed before. 

“They always do.”

The glass of scotch passed to him snatched his attention, and he shot Reggie a grateful smile.

“Make it two, Reg.”

“Sure thing, darlin’.” 

A silence settled between you, interrupted only by periodic laughter and the chatter of commentators. You could feel his eyes on you. 

They were glued to your chest, a furrow in his brow and a small frown on his lips.

The best way to get his attention? Tell him about yourself without saying a word. Let him think he’s figuring you out. Men love thinking they’re smart.

“You okay?”

He looked up at you, wide-eyed and apologetic.

“Sorry, I wasn’t...” he huffed an embarrassed laugh, before nodding toward your chest, eyes pointedly on your own. “You served?”

You glanced down at the ball chain that disappeared beneath the neckline of your shirt. 

“Good spot. I guess I’m not the only one.”

He smiled, something more genuine and proud than you’d expected from him, but it was quick to falter. It reminded you of whenever you would think of S.H.I.E.L.D. You’d done great things together, made friends you wouldn’t trade for the world, even saved that same world a few times. But knowing just how rotten the organisation was at the core left a bad taste in your mouth.

It tainted those memories and reminded you that everything they asked of you and everything you did for them was suspect. 

He recovered quickly. 

“Right you are.”

Your eyes narrowed as he took a swig of his drink.

“I’m thinking...Navy.”

He grimaced into his glass, and you couldn’t help but laugh. 

“You’re just out here usin’ everyone’s pride as a punching bag tonight, huh?” He joked with a short laugh of his own. 

“Well, now you’ve gotta be Army!” 

“Marine Corps.”

Your brows shot up. “Nice.” 

He traced the lip of his glass with a small smile. It probably wasn’t the thing he was usually complimented for, but he certainly wasn't this bashful about his looks. 

A vibration shot through your leg and while knew your conversation with him was over sooner than you would have liked, it may have just been in your favour. 

He likes women, and women like him. You’re not going to be one of those women, and he needs to know that. Half the fun is in the chase, got it?

“Sorry, I gotta take this.” You slipped your phone out of your pocket and shot him an apologetic look. “It was nice meeting you though...”

His smile faltered and the hint of disappointment that flashed in his eyes was gone in a blink. 

“Billy,” he supplied. “Billy Russo.”

You shook the hand he offered you. 

“I’m sure I’ll see you around, Billy Russo,” you said, slipping out of your seat with one final smile. 

His eyes trailed after you until you were out the door and out of sight, but he would think of you again that night. 

---------

“Have you made contact?”

“Sure have, and you have shitty timing, by the way.”

“Keep me posted.”

He hung up without another word and you sighed. 

“Love you too, Phil.”

---------

Part 2

[ouidamforeman]

Gallifrey Audios Fic Rec

Since I read a lot more fanfiction than I used to I thought it’d be a good idea to make a rec list of my personal favorites! Heads up though because as anyone who has followed me for a while knows this is mostly Narvin/Leela (But not all! I like gen stuff and friendship shenanigans a lot too) so if you hate the ship or want a larger variety my rec list will be like a minefield, apologies. List is organized by rating, lowest to highest, and includes approximate word counts. Enjoy! Under a read more because it’s kind of long:

Time Lords are Bad at Feelings by @timelordsandkittens (NR) Notes: this is a fic about hugging and it’s the first Gallifrey story I ever bookmarked, years ago)

Reflections/Refractions by a_walking_shadow (G, 2k words) (Summary: It's always interesting, seeing what's different on every world connected to the Axis. Sometimes, the Gallifrey on the other side is so similar to their own it's almost painful. Sometimes, there aren't any similarities at all. Sometimes it's a perfect reflection, sometimes everything is slightly different, refracted. And sometimes, it's just completely bizarre.” aka “Someone posted a suggestion, somewhere, for a story idea: in s4, the Gallifrey gang end up on a version of Gallifrey which is basically what people think the planet is like, when they first get into New Who.)

The Candidate by weakinteraction (G, 4k words) (Summary: Romana's presidential campaign doesn't get off to the smoothest of starts when she is ambushed by an interviewer. Braxiatel is on hand to straighten things out.) Notes: a delightful and unusual mix of Gallifrey lore and canon that makes me very happy

Life Lessons by thetransgirlwhoneverwas (G, 800 words) (Summary: Narvin is facing death, and for the first time in his long life, he is truly afraid of it.) Notes: this is the “What does Brax think about Narvin losing his lives” fic everyone wants

The Hotel of Rassilon by Floptopus (G, 5k words) (Summary: The Gallifrey Gang (Minus that oily toad, Irving Braxiatel) have escaped from the rages of war and are now running a Bed and Breakfast as a family. However, the new guests at their little hotel clearly aren't all they claim to be... Sarah Jane Smith and her young friends are staying at a Bed and Breakfast as they investigate suspected alien activity in the surrounding area. However, most suspicious are the odd family of four that run the hotel…) Notes: Remember the silly self indulgent b&b AU/SJA crossover thing? This is the fic. Listen. Sometimes you just need corny Time War fix-it fic and this is it. It’s not even finished and I don’t care because I want to live here.

day after day (the show must go on) by clockworkouroboros (G, 2k words) (Summary: A post-Time War short story that explores what happens to them. Leela has been found, but Gallifrey is lost. Romana is trying to find out what happened to it.) Notes: @clockworkouroboros writes good things and also she’s my friend and I love her. This story is trippy and cool and angsty and funny!

Half Sick of Shadows by gallifreyburning (G, 14k words) (Summary: Frontline reports said Leela had been killed in battle at the Pillars of Consequence, fighting the Daleks in the Time War. During a chance encounter on a backwater planet, Narvin discovers that this version of events isn't quite accurate.) Notes: Just read everything by @gallifreyburning actually because she’s brilliant

TimeShift by gallifreyburning (G, 9k words) (Summary: After surviving the Time War and finding a happy ending, Leela wakes up in a strange place with an old antagonist, and must figure out how to get home.)

Homesick by mageofmind (renegadeartist) (G, 1k words) (Summary: Home is a complicated subject for Leela. She hopes one day this one won't feel so lonely.)

On Her Lady President's Secret Service by neveralarch (G, 13k words) (Summary: Narvin and Leela tracking down spies in the Citadel. And also fighting with people. And fighting with each other. And having discussions about CIA training methods. But they also track down spies.)

The Ascension of a Celestis by @time-lord-historian (NR) Notes: Time War angst

Fear by SongOfTheBadWolf (G, 1k words) (Summary: Narvin is often resistant to the support he needs the most, but Leela isn't about to give up on him. (set in season 4, after Annihilation.))

Dancing by @iristigerlily (G, 400 words) (Summary: What might have been going through Narvin’s head as Leela performed her fire dance in 1.2 “Square One”.)

until the night fades by President Romana (asoldandtrueasthesky) (G, 2k words) (Summary: Written for the classicwhosecretsanta 2016. Narvin and Leela explore the Axis together, still reeling from the loss of Braxiatel and dealing with a moping President. The Gallifrey they find feels too much like home for Leela to abandon and it's up to Narvin to prevent their group from splintering any further.)

Five Times Narvin Wasn’t Scolded for Showing Emotion, and One Time He Was by JaneTurenne (G, 6k words) (Summary: Time Lords aren’t meant to display their feelings—and, despite the odds, a Time Lord is the only thing Narvin has ever wanted to be. Narvin character study, with a side of shippery.) Notes: This was my favorite Gallifrey fic for a while and it’s probably still in my top three

To Feel the Sun From Both Sides by gallifreyburning (G, 3k words) (Summary: After years of adventures and misadventures and Time Wars, Leela and Narvin are finally getting married. Unfortunately, someone objects to the union, and goes to great lengths to save Leela from making the worst mistake of her life.) Notes: this fic is hilarious please read it

Strangeness and Charm by gallifreyburning (G, 27k words) (Summary: During a delicate treaty negotiation, Leela finds herself on the receiving end of an unwanted marriage proposal. Set during a magical golden hour in the vicinity of Enemy Lines.) Notes: Narvin/Leela fake married AU, warning: wonderful but unfinished so far

this untitled fic by @colinbakerstreet (NR) Notes: it’s kind of a character study thriller but I remember thinking it was fantastic

Error by thebraxiatelcollection (G, 3k words) (Summary: Spoilers for Gallifrey; Time War. Gallifrey. The CIA and the rest of Gallifrey presume Leela is dead or missing after her mission with The Master. Narvin refuses to be alone during times of war. He decides on the next best thing. He builds a copy of her. Narvin/Leela.) Notes: I remember this having a great twist somewhere

A Minor Problem by Irving-Braxiatel (G, 1k words) (Summary: “’The room is bugged.’ The words were scrawled on the note Narvin had slipped into Romana’s hand as they walked past one another.” Narvin has to deliver some bad news to President Romana, which, as it turns out, isn't as easy as it sounds.) Notes: wonderful pre-series Narvin/Romana with telepathy!

Uncharted Territory by stcrmpilot (G, 1k words) (Summary: Narvin has a lot of thinking to do. Leela seems determined to intrude.) Notes: Good good Axis angst. Stcrmpilot (@coordinator-narvin) writes a lot of Gallifrey stuff and they’re my friend so consider this a general rec and check out their stuff

The Tramp Stamp of Rassilon by gallifreyburning (G, 900 words) (Summary: Ace has an unfortunate evening at an off-planet royal wedding.) Notes: I cried when I read this

Nonsense All Compact (The Community Theatre Remix) by neveralarch (T, 12k words) (Summary: Braxiatel directs amateur community theatre in the small village of Gallifrey. Romana is the Council Leader in Gallifrey, and uses theatre as a political distraction. Eventually they hold hands.) Notes: I’m not exaggerating when I say I think this might be my favorite Gallifrey fic ever. You can also read the original non-AU story it’s based on, The Importance of Being On Stage by aralias (G, 3k words), which is also hilarious.

Repercussions by a_walking_shadow (T, 2k words) (Summary: Going after anyone from the tight-knit group at the top of Gallifreyan society is a terrible idea. They're protective of each other. They all possess the capacity to cause absolutely terrifying levels of destruction. And they tend to have loopholes in their moral codes, for whenever anyone threatens their friends.)

A Family Affair by Bagheera (T, 19k words) (Summary: Leela and Narvin have to work together to uncover a conspiracy against President Matthias.) Notes: This is a good Narvin/Leela relationship dynamics fic with a lot of stuff about Narvin’s family, and it was written before we got much canon background on him so it has a lot of interesting headcanons!

Family Ties by Floptopus (T, 4k words) (Summary: In the night, the nightmares come. Leela and Narvin have both lost parts of themselves - parts they'd never expected to live without.) Notes: prequel to The Hotel of Rassilon

Spirit Redux by gallifreyburning (T, 13k words) (Summary: Sometimes even Gallifrey's CIA agents need a little R&R. Who wouldn't enjoy a minibreak on the paradise planet of Davidia?) Notes: Narvin has A Time Of It in this fic and it’s great. It’s also slightly on the M end of T rated towards the end so watch out if spiciness isn’t your thing.

Refinement by oxydised_moron (T, 5k words) Notes: You guys it’s literally just evil!Leela/Narvin from Disassembled, I’m so glad someone wrote this

A Friendly Face by clockworkouroboros (T, 2k words) (Summary: Narvin and Romana have been ousted from Gallifrey after Romana’s latest attempt at treason and they land...in the middle of a war zone. This is set just after that.)

Dreams of Forgotten Lives by BeesOfGallifrey (T, 54k words) (Summary: The Time War is over, and thanks to the skullduggery of Irving Braxiatel, Leela and Narvin have survived it. One small problem: also thanks to the skullduggery of Irving Braxiatel, they have no memory of who they really are, and are both stranded in London in the late 1890s, living entirely separate lives…) Notes: very good Narvin/Leela fobwatched!AU, and I think there’s a sequel in the works with Romana)

Gallifrey: Ruination by Ellimac (T, 11k words) (Summary: In the search for a new Gallifrey, Leela, Narvin, and Romana find themselves on a Gallifrey far too hostile for their liking. When Narvin gets caught in the middle of a dangerous conflict with no way out, it's up to Leela and Romana to get all three of them back to safety before it's too late.) Notes: Great Axis adventure that’s very canon-divergent with injuries, so warning/note for that and a bit more gore and violence than the typical fic

The Shape of Things to Come by gallifreyburning (T, 8k words) (Summary: During the Time War, Leela and Narvin are on a mission to save a young Ace McShane from Daleks meddling in her timeline. Romana's mission briefing didn't remotely prepare them for a night in a punk club in London, 1986.) Notes: Again, just go read everything by gallifreyburning because I’m not listing everything here, but this is the first one by her I read and it’s delightful

Thinking in the Fifth Dimension by Irving-Braxiatel (T, 3k words) Notes: a sort of choose your own adventure story with a really cool format

Orchestral by gallifreyburning (T, 2k words) (Summary: During a CIA mission debrief, Leela and Narvin make a little music.) Notes: gallifreyburning specializes in writing these two arguing and making out but this is the one I’m choosing to rec because it was written for me and also Ace is there

The High School AU of Rassilon by clockworkouroboros (T, 12k words so far) (Summary: Narvin just wants a quiet, easy junior year of high school. Unfortunately, no one else in the school seems to feel the same way.) Notes: Current WIP. AU where they all go to a terrible teen movie high school. A Masterpiece I am proud to have helped with.

Cultural Exchange by JaneTurenne (M, 4k words) (Summary: Narvin knows Leela well enough to track her down after her abrupt departure — and comes to know her a great deal better.) Notes: This is rated T on Ao3 but I’m putting it with the M-rated stuff because it’s kind of spicy for just a T and I wanted to be safe for anyone wary

Superposition by gallifreyburning (M, 3k words) (Summary: At the end of Gallifrey 2.5: Imperiatrix, Narvin is injured while saving President Romana from a bomb, and is carted away for medical treatment just before Pandora takes control of Gallifrey. The next time we see him, in Gallifrey 3.1: Fractures, he's abandoned his post as Coordinator of the CIA and is working as part of Romana's resistance against Pandora. This is a glimpse of what happened in between these two events: the moment Narvin realizes what happened in the Panopticon in his absence, and is forced to choose sides.) Notes: the questionable Pandora/Narvin content I didn’t know I wanted until I had it. It sounds shifty and it is but this fic is so good I believed every second.

Mission Parameters by gallifreyburning (M, 8k words) (Summary: Andred is on a mission to bring down the Celestial Intervention Agency, and he's only just beginning to grasp everything this job entails.) Notes: Have you ever wanted to ship Narvin/Torvald and Narvin/Andred? Have you ever desired to watch a slow motion car wreck? If yes then this is the fic for you.

A Quiet Heart and its 'verse by gallifreyburning (E, but the other fics in the series are G and T, 70k+ words) (Summary: Leela and Narvin's moments between canon, from the Axis until the Time War. This is how a human warrior and her Time Lord came to fall in love. Romana makes occasional appearances, but this is primarily an expansion of the backstory between the Lady President's companions.) Notes: This is probably The Main Narvin/Leela Fic in the fandom at this point so most Gallifrey fans who follow me have probably at least read some of it, but y’all. It’s GoodTM and the smutty parts are pretty easy to skip over if that’s not your thing, so. Highly Recommend.

this Narvin/Leela bodyswap from the sexandpolitics dreamwidth, because sometimes I read silly porn and you all have to deal with that

Also! Note that there’s a lot more in my Gallifrey fic tag, including shorter things and lots of tumblr and askbox fic! Also because the Gallifrey fandom is so little I highly recommend reading everything by any of these authors or anything in any of the Gallifrey fic tags because in general it tends to all be pretty good

[shelby-love]

♔ MY NAVIGATION ♔

0.5 TYPES OF REQUESTS I WRITE:

One-shots (1k words or more)

Drabbles  (below 1k words)

Headcanons (bullet point fics)

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Request via ask.

Always include what type of request you want me to write.

Specify because specification is very important as it helps me make your request as pleasing as possible, but try not to be too specific as I like the element of surprise.

If you want me to write something from my prompt list (click here): include the name of said character, category of the prompt and the prompt’s respective number (e.g. Jay Halstead, fluff 7). 

1.1 Note: If you don't include what type of request it is that you want me to cook up, I will choose the type myself so don't come at me if you wanted a 2K worded piece of work and instead got an imagine with 200 words!

1.2 Note: Mixing the prompt with a plot line of your own is allowed, just make sure to follow the rules (1-3). 

1.5 THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND:

Unless asked for, I will be writing with the Female!reader in mind (I like to exclude any gender relation and make it so that both genders could read and enjoy).

I respond to asks when the request has been qued to post and released on Ao3.

The maximum number of request you can send is 2. I know there is an option to send them in anonymously, but I really hope you will stick to this rule. Give others a chance to submit their wishes, and don’t make the line too big with by mass requesting (I close requests after I get around 30 requests).

Requests sent during seasons I have not watched or for characters that have yet to make an appearance in the show will not be written (exceptions exist).

I write one-shots but not a whole series unless I can see/want a continuation.

Themed requests (Christmas, Valentine's Day, New Year etc.) can be only sent during that time. I don’t accept Christmas requests during the month of May. The same goes for the rest.

I have every right to delete every request that does not fit within the rules stated above, or I feel uncomfortable writing. Also, it’s important to note that I don’t have inspiration to write every request that’s sent. It’s normal to not have inspiration, and because I prefer quality to quantity, if I see that I don’t have inspiration for a request then I will not write it.

Requests will be deleted if sent while my request box is closed. I won’t answer them as I feel like there is no need. On almost every informative post (+my bio, and if you’re on PC my theme under ‘blog status’) it will say whether the request box is closed or not.

English is not my first language but without digging myself my own grave this early on I want to say that I'm proud of how much I know, given that I never speak English unless in school.

Be nice because only constructive criticism is allowed. If you spot a grammatical error or a paragraph/sentence/word etc. that doesn't make sense, let me know. But be nice!

2.0 THINGS I DON’T WRITE:

LGBTQ+  topics/relationships (because I feel like I wouldn’t do a good job) 

Real people, send only requests for characters in my writing list

Ships or OC, send only reader inserts

NSFW (mature content stories)

Noncon

Dark!fics

Romanticized mental illnesses

S*icide scenes

R*pe scenes

Racism/slurs

2.1 Note: P*dophilia, r*pe, s*icide might be mentioned in my Chicago P.D, Fire, Med shots (or other), but I will never explicitly write about those subjects or write about anything that is about/centered around them.

2.2 Note: Explicitly written smut is a no, I will not write that. Try to refrain from requesting steamy scenes too, as I will only put them in myself were I to deem it necessary for the WIP.

2.5 THINGS I DO WRITE:

Angst

Fluff/ WAFF

Fusion/ Crossover

Daughter/Wife/Sister!Reader

Here is me trying to explain what kind of requests I also take [x]

2.6 Note: It’s hard to list but to make it easier for you guys, I will write about almost anything as long as it’s not on my 2.0 bullet.

3.0 POSTING SCHEDULE:

Posts are usually posted between 01:00 A.M. and 05:00 A.M. CET (Central European Time).

Check schedule to see what's been qued to post.

3.1 Note: This account is NOT my work place. Everything here is written when I have time and I feel like writing. Requests that I find more interesting will most likely be written and qued to post sooner. I advise you to follow my blog, check regularly and sit tight until you see that it's qued. You can always check my navigation page and click on 'schedule'. Or simply click here.

3.2 Note: I am not a doctor nor a firefighter nor a policeman. I research whatever I can before I start writing and sometimes that takes hours. Nothing is 100% accurate (especially for events set in Chicago Med) although I hope it is.

3.5 WRITING LIST:

3.6 Note: Requests are currently OPEN for all fandoms!!!

3.7 Note: Your requests do not have to be strictly romantic (Sibling!Reader or other are also (obviously) allowed).

---More shows and characters will be added through time

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See under ‘Marvel Universe’.

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Booker

[minthysugamon]

Everybody wants to rule the world.

Noble Assistant! Namjoon x Assassin! Reader.

1789! AU

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: Mention of dried blood,gunshots and other stuff...i mean..it's the revolution..so yeah.

(Credit for the Original Photo: @/athenaa. I only edited it a little bit. But all credit goes to the original artist who posted the photo first in it's original version)

(Painting: La liberté guidant le peuple by Eugène Delacroix)

14 Juillet 1789,

The streets were overcrowded,people were standing for hours in front of the Bastille. Everybody knew...the reunion of the General Estates was chaotic. The deputies spent months to collect all the reviews that could help them make a reform,that could help the Third Estate to have the same rights as the nobility...but instead of that,King Louis XVI refused all the changes that should have been made. So...the whole Third Estate was back to case one. It was no surprise when the King had dismissed the assembly to go back to his residence. But what surprised him was the determination that the future National Assembly had. They swore,they will give France a constitution,they make up the large majority of the country,they can do it without being harmed too much. The King still didn't care about the 1200 Deputies plea for equality. But dear lord,the Regent was wrong for ignoring all the warning signs about the revolution.

But there she was,waiting for her brother to come back,in a house near the Bastille..waiting for the three volounteers to come out with the gun powder. Not as if she wanted to kill or wound someone..but..she wanted to participate. She wanted to see how people will take over the power. Her brother is a Lawyer...Maximilien Robespierre is his name. But since she is a woman..she will never have the chance to become one...she can only learn from him,in secret,because work is a taboo for women.

"Why are you here?" Her brother grabbed her wrist,looking her dead in the eye. He wasn't amused,at all. "I..i just wanted to come..to see if everything was alright...Mère s'inquiète pour vous¹..." He sighed,letting her wrist go,and he bowed his head. "I told you clearly to stay in Arras,didn't i? You are too curious for your own good. One day it will bring you trouble." She cracked a small smile,only for a moment though,and while she exhaled,she whispered a small "Je le sais,mon frère.²" As she sat down,in front of the window,Maximilien went behind her and watched the chaos unfold in front of the Bastille. "What are they trying to do?" She looked up at him,with glassy eyes. She would never admit it but as much as the revolution gave her adrenaline and excited her...she was also scared. Scared of what will happen. "They are trying to get the gun powder...i guess Launey still didn't give in to take the cannons back." He watched as the people were getting more and more impatient,and then,he headed out of the small townhouse. Since she was also the curious type,she headed out after him. "LA POUDRE. LA POUDRE. DONNEZ-NOUS LA POUDRE³". The crowd was screaming for the gun powder. While Launey was still discussing with the three peasants.

While the crowd was roaring outside,Launey was talking with the three peasants. "Monsieur Kim,would you please tell the soldiers to retract the cannons?" The young immigrant who became Launey's assistant just looked at him confused. "But..Maître...it's nearly impossible to get them retracted,we don't have the King's authorisation." And as the three peasants looked at him with an evil expression,the assistant hesitantly said "I will try to persuade them...but i may need your help if anything goes wrong." The keeper of the Bastille just looked at him with a reassuring smile and said "Don't worry,Mon fils,everything will go alright. Just do as i say." The boy went up,and tried to tell the soldiers what was bound to happen if they don't take the cannons back. The soldiers just laughed and told him to piss off. But at the view of the weapons not getting retracted,the crowd was growing louder with every second that passed. The chance of them getting into the Bastille was also increasing with every shout that left their throat. The assisstant of Launey was running back down to the study of his mentor.

"Maître Launey,what are we going to do? They don't want to retract them. I tried to persuade them,but they aren't listening." Launey only sighed,and stood up. "Si vous pourriez m'excuser,je vous en serai reconnaissant.⁴" With that said,he went up with the young man that he swore to protect after his own son died in his arms due to pneumonia,and looked at the Soldiers. "I sent the message of retracting the cannons. Then why do i still see them here?"

One of the armed men was brave enough to say "We thought that your assisstant maneuvered on his own..." and to that,the Master of the Bastille answered clearly,exercising his authority on them. "Whether it's me or my assistant,you are obligated to comply to my wishes and my commands. Whether you like it or not. Now get those cannons retracted before the people think that we want to hurt them."

At the same time,the youngest Robespierre was following her brother. What Maximilien didn't know was his sister's abilities. Nobody knew,but she was the one of the best trained assassins of the country. She went in the crowd and got lost in it,so no one could see what she was about to do. Her plan was to climb to the first floor and open the gate. And it was going well until ths crowd heard a gunshot inside the court of the Bastille. "THEY KILLED THEM. THEY KILLED OUR ALLIES. LET'S SHOW THEM THAT THEY CAN'T MESS WITH US." "Merde...⁵" The swear word escaped her lips as she was near the backyard of the Bastille. But that didn't stop her. Just like how the crowd didn't stop running down the doors.

Namjoon was scared for his life. As soon as the people swarmed in as bees in a beehive,he was becoming more and more nervous. "Maître,what are we going to do?" And his mentor looked at him,with his pale face,then shouted at the brigade. "RASSEMBLEZ LA POUDRE.⁶ GET ALL THE POWDER. AND TAKE IT DOWN. WE WILL ACT ACCORDING TO WHAT WILL HAPPEN." Then he looked back at his assistant,sending him a look full of emotions and calmly said. "Son,go and hide in the study. Lock all the doors. Don't do anything wrong,and they won't get in." And for once,he spoke to him in an informal way,like how a father would tell his son how to hide. "But,Maître-" Namjoon objected to the idea of letting his mentor,but also his adoptive father in some ways,fight for the Bastille. But before he knew,he was pushed into the study by Launey,and he locked the door before going back to his soldiers. "Que Dieu...aie pitié de votre âme...Père...⁷" And with a heavy heart,he blocked the door with a cupboard and the handles with three swords..the more,the better.

While the crowd was swarming in,(Y/n) was trying to get a better view of the situation by climbing the wall of the gigantic fortress which served as the royal prison. "Pour l'amour des cieux⁸...why did that idiot have to cry wolf when nothing was going on..." and as she finally climbed the first floor which had a corridor,she sneaked in,just like a shadow,almost invisible. The people were or too busy trying to free the seven remaining prisoners,or trying to kill any guard that came their way,or to find the gun powder and leave. She was feeling nauseous from the smell of dried blood on the walls of the hall,but she won't vomit here and now,or people will think she's one of the guards or just a simple whore who paid visit to Launey. But speak of the devil. Two men saw her,and started chasing her,so in the first turn,she turned to right,then to the left and continued this pattern until she fell through a passageway to the Study.

Namjoon was shocked when he saw the girl fall through the secret passage,but nothing shocked him more than to see a girl being armed like a professional assassin. "Qui diable est-tu?⁹" his voice came out more shaky than expected. And the girl only answered "Be glad that i'm not here to kill you. Who are you? You don't seem to be from here." If she was being honest...she never saw someone like him. She could only think about the fact that he wasn't here. Thanks to the books of her father and her brother,she quickly guessed that he was from the Far East. "I asked first,mademoiselle." And she looked at him,unfazed. "Look,i don't have the time to play this. Where is Launey,i have to talk to him." And the young man picked a sword up and quickly took her in his arms to put the blade against her neck. "What do you want from him? Seeing how you are dressed and what you're carrying,i am pretty sure that you mean no good. And most probably,you're on their side. Aren't you?" The only thing she could say was a determined "Yes. But,I only want to talk. That's it. If i wanted to kill him,he would be already dea-" her voice was cut off by loud banging on the front door. "LAUNEY,ON SAIT QUE TU ES LÀ.¹⁰ STOP HIDING AND BE A MAN." And Namjoon only looked at the unknown girl,with panic in his eyes,and she looked back at him. "Go,find somewhere to hide. I'll tell them that no one was here." The assisstant looked at her with confusion plastered on his face. "But..you have the chance to kill me now. Why won't you do it?" And she laughed but in a bitter way,trying her best to keep the door closed. "The stars aren't alligned for that today. It's your lucky day today,Sir. Now go. Hide before they kill you." With a quick nod he started to run towards the secret passage,but quickly turned back and looked at her. "Name's Namjoon." And the youngest Robespierre just looked at him,with an amused look and replied "(Y/n). Remember that name when you'll say grace to God for keeping an eye on you. Now go." And as soon as he was out,she let the door break free. With a half smirk and playful eyes,she cocked her pistol towards one of the peasants. "Good Morning gentlemen,beautiful day to cause a revolution i see. It would be a shame if something..or someone stopped this. So i advise you to turn back around,and go on your way to find the much-wanted powder." One of the peasants just laughed at her,but when she shot him in the arm,the other two,unarmed,were quick to run out of the study.

Namjoon still didn't understand why she spared his life,but he was thankful. For once,his luck was immeasurable,and he felt good about it. But the same went for her...(Y/n) still didn't understand what took over her to spare his life and shoot someone,who was playing on the same side as she was. But sometimes...life puts you in a situation where a plot twist is inevitable.

As the battle was still going on in the court,after what felt like an eternity,(Y/n) but also Namjoon realised...whether you're a revolutionary or a nobleman...you have one thing in common. You want to rule the world. Because if there's something in common in the power hungry humans...is the will to rule the world..because Everybody wants to rule the world.

Translation:

¹ = Mother is worried about you.

² = I know it,brother.

³ = The Powder,the powder,give us the powder.

⁴ = If you could excuse me,i would be grateful for it.

⁵ = Shit...

⁶ = Get all the powder.

⁷ = May God have mercy on your soul,father.

⁸ = For Heaven's sake

⁹ = Who the hell are you?

¹⁰ = Launey,we know you're inside there.

(A/n: I know the end is rushed but i hope you guys still liked it. The idea came to me when i had my history exam,and that was in December,but i didn't have time to finish it...so here is a bit rushed-ended one shot about Namjoon in the 1789 French Revolution. Thank you again for your patience,and i hope you guys are doing well! ❤)

[momentofmemory]

it’s almost the end of october, which means one of the greatest, most terrifying exploits known to writers is upon us: NaNoWriMo.

there are plenty of super good survival posts out there, but as this’ll be my seventh time participating (six wins, hoping for a seventh), i thought i’d drop my own set of tips into the mix. i’m going to focus mostly on the practical details of how to write; if you want tips on the writing itself either search the writing/reference tags or pester me to do another one later :P with that said, ~on with the post~

Step One: Figure Out Your Goal

i know, i know, obviously it’s to write 50k, but what does that mean to you? are you expecting

polished prose, ready to send off to a publisher?

being able to write every day? 

just throwing up a bunch of ideas?

a mix of everything?

all of these are valid, but they’re going to require different approaches. if you want jaw-dropping writing, you’re going to need in the ballpark of five or more hours each day, if not more. if you want consistency, you’ll want to look at your normal schedule and set up a couple times you know you can write at. if just you want words, pretty much all you need to make sure is that you squeeze writing time in whenever.

your goal will probably change as the month progresses, and that’s totally fine. just check in every so often to remember a)what you’re working for and b)if it’s actually plausible. speaking of...

Step Two: Realize Your Limitations

1. Typing.

imma get super practical here: your typing speed dictates how fast you can get done. if you write 40wpm (the average), you cannot write the full 1667 in a half hour any more than you can run a mile in under three minutes. it’s honestly not a bad idea to check out your own speed, if only to help you understand yourself better. in my experience, actual writing then works like this (using my max speed, 89, as an example):

Absolute Max: 89 wpm (baseline)

Warring: 70 (75% of baseline)

In the zone: 45 (50% of baseline)

Taking my time, concentrated: 22 (25% of baseline)

anything lower than your max/4 probably means you’re spending a lot of time either researching or staring at the page, so just be aware of that.

2. Time & Focus

this kinda goes without saying, but best case scenario this is at least 1-2 hours of your life a day, or dedicating full Saturday/Sundays if you’re a weekend warrior kind of person. it’s so, so worth it if you can make time for it, but also don’t feel bad if you can’t! doing a half nano (25k) or whatever you want is also a fully acceptable plan.

that said, if you do have time, figure out your focus too. if you’ve never been the kind of person that can type for six hours straight, you will probably not magically become this person when it hits Nov. 1 (though with practice, you might be by Nov. 30). i like trying to write at least 300 before work and another 300 during lunch. that way there’s only 1k left for the evening, and having words on the page just makes me feel better. experiment with different ways of blocking out your time in the first few days and see what works best for you.

3. Don’t Forget You Live in a Body

writing is hard work, you will need to eat brain food! hunching over wrecks your back, stand up and stretch every so often! you will hate existing if you forgo sleep for days! and for the love of charles dickens, patron saint of getting paid by the word, take care of your mother-effing wrists!!

seriously on that last one. i’ve ignored it in the past and thoroughly screwed up my wrists one year; don’t be me. keep in them in a neutral position, do regular stretches, and if you need to, get wrist wraps (i recommend these).

Step Three: Actually Doing the Thing

the previous steps have had pretty broad advice, but now it’s time to get down to the nitty-gritty. these are mostly things i know work for me, and therefore may not for you—adjust to your own needs!

1. Write for 15 Minutes Every Day, Non-Negotiable.

i don’t even mean this is a “write 15 min and then your brain will be tricked into writing more” kinda way, but like, literally. you’re probably not going to be able to do 1667 every day—sometimes you’ll be tired and just won’t have the time. you’re very likely, however, to have 15 minutes, and you’ll want to use them. Doesn’t matter if you write 50 words or 500 in that time, at least you’ll have done something, and that’s usually enough to keep you from feeling like just giving up the next day.

2. You Might Need Physical Spaces

i’m a pretty sensory person when it comes to writing, and having a dedicated writing space is so helpful for me. going back to the idea of being an embodied person, it’s a lot easier to get your brain into a writing mode if your body’s already there. some good options include:

coffee shops (cozy! food!)

a specific room in your home (easily accessed! do what you want!)

libraries (free! quiet!)

a friend’s house (writing buddy! easy access to sounding board!)

all of these places usually have access to wifi, which is a positive.

3. You Definitely Need Digital Spaces

i pretty much always write in the same processor, once again because it helps set the mood. the main options include:

google drive (solid choice, cloud backup, mobile accessible)

dabble writer (cloud backup, links to nano, dark mode, chapter options)

write or die (only for actual writing—a scary but effective motivator; save elsewhere)

word/pages/etc. (ready to go on your computer, formatting options)

scrivener (great plotting tools, detailed interface)

i use dabble writer myself (they’re a nano sponsor, so you can get it free for this month, and as a double bonus you get it half off for the rest of the year if you win). and no, i’m not getting paid to wax poetic about them, but honestly i’ve used it to win the past two years and i adore it. 

anyway my biggest tip here is that i SUPER SUPER DON’T RECOMMEND NON-CLOUD OPTIONS. it’s very risky, but if you must, do a proper back up at least once a week. that shiz is not worth it.

4. The Timer is Your New Best Friend

because i’ve heard this argument before: no, it’s not a crutch, and no, it’s not cheating. it’s literally best practices. i’m personally a big fan of this online timer, and i let it run for 15 min every time i write. after each session i check how many words i wrote, then after maybe a quick 1-2 min break, start over.

you can totally set the timer for longer or shorter periods, depending on what works for you. i’m a fan of the 15 min sessions bc it’s just long enough to get a bit of flow going, and just short enough that i can convince my spacy brain that we can get through it without wandering. it’s also a fantastic length for warring, if you’re down for that.

5. Write That Idea Down for Lewis’s Sake

the original idea for the chronicles of narnia came to c.s. lewis when he was at a restaurant, and thank the lord, he wrote it down on a napkin. he wouldn’t write it until some time later, but if he hadn’t written it down, he might’ve forgotten it. why is this important, you ask?

BC YOU WILL FORGET THINGS.

if you have an idea, write it down in your phone or your notebook or the waterproof paper in your shower, because i don’t care how sure you are that you’ll remember it, you super won’t. i’ve forgotten many solutions to plot holes in my time and i still hold vigils over their graves. don’t be me. write it down.

Step Four: Managing that Inner Critic of Yours

all right, pay attention. i’m not going to tell you not to edit, because i would be a massive hypocrite if i did. i totally edit during nano. the important part is letting your editor help you win, not hurt you. and that means gaming your critic’s system.

1. Have a Dedicated Deletion Section

many people hear “don’t delete anything” and baulk, because for some of us it’s distracting and we want to rewrite that section until it matches our vision. so, i’m here to tell you: delete it!! rewrite entire chapters!! just save the original content as part of your word count. this is another reason i love dabble, bc at the start of nano i just make a separate part of the book, label it “delete”, and any time i’m writing and dislike a sentence/paragraph i just dump it into that folder and move on. this way you still get to keep the numbers (and why shouldn’t you? you wrote them!) while also writing words you actually like. plus, sometimes that line you deleted in ch. 1 winds up being supremely pertinent in ch.15, and now you can just copy/paste it instead of having to try to remember what exactly you’d said.

2. Acknowledge Ranting as a Time Honoured Tradition

think there’s no precedent for that 2K diatribe you wrote on the london underground? well fear not, because you can’t possibly do worse than hugo’s entire chapters worth of content on the french sewer system! or melville’s frankly terrifying obsession with the finer features of whale biology!

like, yeah, maybe you’ll decide later you don’t need it, but for now, embrace that soap box. dead white guys have been doing it for centuries and still get places in college syllabi. the least you can do is give it a place in your word count.

Step Five: Have Fun!

i know, i know, it’s cliche, but seriously. if this isn’t fun, or at least rewarding, why are you doing it anyway? so enjoy it! send passages you’re proud of to your friends! daydream about it in the car on the way to work/school! cry over a notebook about the twist you just came up with! nano’s a time of fun and exploration, and you shouldn’t miss out on it because you’re thinking too much.

also, this might be counter productive to put at the end of an essay on nano, but don’t obsess over reading essays on nano :P there comes a time when one must simply do, and nano is pretty much the definition of that.