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kindly-whisper-norbury · 1 month ago

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Oh, my God! I never knew about this, and I only just realized (before even looking at the notes!) that the Vienna Teng song City Hall was based on this event!

Please, please listen to it! You'll cry, I swear!

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Me and my baby on a February holiday 'cause we got the news Yeah, we got the news 500 miles and we're gonna make it all the way We've got nothing to lose We've got nothing to lose

It's been 10 years waiting But it's better late than the never We've been told before We can't wait one minute more

Oh, me and my baby driving down To a hilly seaside town in the rainfall Oh, me and my baby stand in line You've never seen a sight so fine As the love that's gonna shine At city hall

Me and my baby've been through A lot of good and bad Learned to kiss the sky Made our momma's cry I've seen a lot of friends After giving it all they had Lay down and die Lay down and die

10 years into it Here's our window At the Vegas drive-thru chapel It ain't too much For 'em all to handle

Oh, me and my baby driving down To a hilly seaside town in the rainfall Oh, me and my baby stand in line You've never seen a sight so fine As the love that's gonna shine At city hall

Outside, they're handing out Donuts and pizza pies For the folks in pairs in the folding chairs My baby's lookin' so damned pretty With those anxious eyes Rain-speckled hair And my ring to wear

10 years waiting for this moment of fate When we say the words and sign our names If they take it away again someday This beautiful thing won't change

Oh, me and my baby driving down To a hilly seaside town in the rainfall Oh, me and my baby stand in line You've never seen a sight so fine As the love that's gonna shine

Oh, me and my baby driving down To a hilly seaside town in the rainfall Oh, me and my baby stand in line You've never seen a sight so fine As the love that's gonna shine At city hall

Twenty years ago, February 15th, 2004, I got married for the first time.

It was twenty years earlier than I ever expected to.

To celebrate/comemorate the date, I'm sitting down to write out everything I remember as I remember it. No checking all the pictures I took or all the times I've written about this before. I'm not going to turn to my husband (of twenty years, how the f'ing hell) to remember a detail for me.

This is not a 100% accurate recounting of that first wild weekend in San Francisco. But it -is- a 100% accurate recounting of how I remember it today, twenty years after the fact.

Join me below, if you would.

2004 was an election year, and much like conservatives are whipping up anti-trans hysteria and anti-trans bills and propositions to drive out the vote today, in 2004 it was all anti-gay stuff. Specifically, preventing the evil scourge of same-sex marriage from destroying everything good and decent in the world.

Enter Gavin Newstrom. At the time, he was the newly elected mayor of San Francisco. Despite living next door to the city all my life, I hadn’t even heard of the man until Valentines Day 2004 when he announced that gay marriage was legal in San Francisco and started marrying people at city hall.

It was a political stunt. It was very obviously a political stunt. That shit was illegal, after all. But it was a very sweet political stunt. I still remember the front page photo of two ancient women hugging each other forehead to forehead and crying happy tears.

But it was only going to last for as long as it took for the California legal system to come in and make them knock it off.

The next day, we’re on the phone with an acquaintance, and she casually mentions that she’s surprised the two of us aren’t up at San Francisco getting married with everyone else.

“Everyone else?” Goes I, “I thought they would’ve shut that down already?”

“Oh no!” goes she, “The courts aren’t open until Tuesday. Presidents Day on Monday and all. They’re doing them all weekend long!”

We didn’t know because social media wasn’t a thing yet. I only knew as much about it as I’d read on CNN, and most of the blogs I was following were more focused on what bullshit President George W Bush was up to that day.

"Well shit", me and my man go, "do you wanna?" I mean, it’s a political stunt, it wont really mean anything, but we’re not going to get another chance like this for at least 20 years. Why not?

The next day, Sunday, we get up early. We drive north to the southern-most BART station. We load onto Bay Area Rapid Transit, and rattle back and forth all the way to the San Francisco City Hall stop.

We had slightly miscalculated.

Apparently, demand for marriages was far outstripping the staff they had on hand to process them. Who knew. Everyone who’d gotten turned away Saturday had been given tickets with times to show up Sunday to get their marriages done. My babe and I, we could either wait to see if there was a space that opened up, or come back the next day, Monday.

“Isn’t City Hall closed on Monday?” I asked. “It’s a holiday”

“Oh sure,” they reply, “but people are allowed to volunteer their time to come in and work on stuff anyways. And we have a lot of people who want to volunteer their time to have the marriage licensing offices open tomorrow.”

“Oh cool,” we go, “Backup.”

“Make sure you’re here if you do,” they say, “because the California Supreme Court is back in session Tuesday, and will be reviewing the motion that got filed to shut us down.”

And all this shit is super not-legal, so they’ll totally be shutting us down goes unsaid.

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We don’t get in Saturday. We wind up hanging out most of the day, though.

It’s… incredible. I can say, without hyperbole, that I have never experienced so much concentrated joy and happiness and celebration of others’ joy and happiness in all my life before or since. My face literally ached from grinning. Every other minute, a new couple was coming out of City Hall, waving their paperwork to the crowd and cheering and leaping and skipping. Two glorious Latina women in full Mariachi band outfits came out, one in the arms of another. A pair of Jewish boys with their families and Rabbi. One couple managed to get a Just Married convertible arranged complete with tin-cans tied to the bumper to drive off in. More than once I was giving some rice to throw at whoever was coming out next.

At some point in the mid-afternoon, there was a sudden wave of extra cheering from the several hundred of us gathered at the steps, even though no one was coming out. There was a group going up the steps to head inside, with some generic black-haired shiny guy at the front. My not-yet-husband nudged me, “That’s Newsom.” He said, because he knew I was hopeless about matching names and people.

Ooooooh, I go. That explains it. Then I joined in the cheers. He waved and ducked inside.

So dusk is starting to fall. It’s February, so it’s only six or so, but it’s getting dark.

“Should we just try getting in line for tomorrow -now-?” we ask.

“Yeah, I’m afraid that’s not going to be possible.” One of the volunteers tells us. “We’re not allowed to have people hang out overnight like this unless there are facilities for them and security. We’d need Porta-Poties for a thousand people and police patrols and the whole lot, and no one had time to get all that organized. Your best bet is to get home, sleep, and then catch the first BART train up at 5am and keep your fingers crossed.

Monday is the last day to do this, after all.

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So we go home. We crash out early. We wake up at 4:00. We drive an hour to hit the BART station. We get the first train up. We arrive at City Hall at 6:30AM.

The line stretches around the entirety of San Francisco City Hall. You could toss a can of Coke from the end of the line to the people who’re up to be first through the doors and not have to worry about cracking it open after.

“Uh.” We go. “What the fuck is -this-?”

So.

Remember why they weren’t going to be able to have people hang out overnight?

Turns out, enough SF cops were willing to volunteer unpaid time to do patrols to cover security. And some anonymous person delivered over a dozen Porta-Poties that’d gotten dropped off around 8 the night before.

It’s 6:30 am, there are almost a thousand people in front of us in line to get this literal once in a lifetime marriage, the last chance we expect to have for at least 15 more years (it was 2004, gay rights were getting shoved back on every front. It was not looking good. We were just happy we lived in California were we at least weren’t likely to loose job protections any time soon.).

Then it starts to rain.

We had not dressed for rain.

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Here is how the next six hours go.

We’re in line. Once the doors open at 7am, it will creep forward at a slow crawl. It’s around 7 when someone shows up with garbage bags for everyone. Cut holes for the head and arms and you’ve got a makeshift raincoat! So you’ve got hundreds of gays and lesbians decked out in the nicest shit they could get on short notice wearing trashbags over it.

Everyone is so happy.

Everyone is so nervous/scared/frantic that we wont be able to get through the doors before they close for the day.

People online start making delivery orders.

Coffee and bagels are ordered in bulk and delivered to City Hall for whoever needs it. We get pizza. We get roses. Random people come by who just want to give hugs to people in line because they’re just so happy for us. The tour busses make detours to go past the lines. Chinese tourists lean out with their cameras and shout GOOD LUCK while car horns honk.

A single sad man holding a Bible tries to talk people out of doing this, tells us all we’re sinning and to please don’t. He gives up after an hour. A nun replaces him with a small sign about how this is against God’s will. She leaves after it disintegrates in the rain.

The day before, when it was sunny, there had been a lot of protestors. Including a large Muslim group with their signs about how “Not even DOGS do such things!” Which… Yes they do.

A lot of snide words are said (by me) about how the fact that we’re willing to come out in the rain to do this while they’re not willing to come out in the rain to protest it proves who actually gives an actual shit about the topic.

Time passes. I measure it based on which side of City Hall we’re on. The doors face East. We start on Northside. Coffee and trashbags are delivered when we’re on the North Side. Pizza first starts showing up when we’re on Westside, which is also where I see Bible Man and Nun. Roses are delivered on Southside. And so forth.

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We have Line Neighbors.

Ahead of us are a gay couple a decade or two older than us. They’ve been together for eight years. The older one is a school teacher. He has his coat collar up and turns away from any news cameras that come near while we reposition ourselves between the lenses and him. He’s worried about the parents of one of his students seeing him on the news and getting him fired. The younger one will step away to get interviewed on his own later on. They drove down for the weekend once they heard what was going on. They’d started around the same time we did, coming from the Northeast, and are parked in a nearby garage.

The most perky energetic joyful woman I’ve ever met shows up right after we turned the corner to Southside to tackle the younger of the two into a hug. She’s their local friend who’d just gotten their message about what they’re doing and she will NOT be missing this. She is -so- happy for them. Her friends cry on her shoulders at her unconditional joy.

Behind us are a lesbian couple who’d been up in San Francisco to celebrate their 12th anniversary together. “We met here Valentines Day weekend! We live down in San Diego, now, but we like to come up for the weekend because it’s our first love city.”

“Then they announced -this-,” the other one says, “and we can’t leave until we get married. I called work Sunday and told them I calling in sick until Wednesday.”

“I told them why,” her partner says, “I don’t care if they want to give me trouble for it. This is worth it. Fuck them.”

My husband-to-be and I look at each other. We’ve been together for not even two years at this point. Less than two years. Is it right for us to be here? We’re potentially taking a spot from another couple that’d been together longer, who needed it more, who deserved it more.”

“Don’t you fucking dare.” Says the 40-something gay couple in front of us.

“This is as much for you as it is for us!” says the lesbian couple who’ve been together for over a decade behind us.

“You kids are too cute together,” says the gay couple’s friend. “you -have- to. Someday -you’re- going to be the old gay couple that’s been together for years and years, and you deserve to have been married by then.”

We stay in line.

It’s while we’re on the Southside of City Hall, just about to turn the corner to Eastside at long last that we pick up our own companions. A white woman who reminds me an awful lot of my aunt with a four year old black boy riding on her shoulders. “Can we say we’re with you? His uncles are already inside and they’re not letting anyone in who isn’t with a couple right there.” “Of course!” we say.

The kid is so very confused about what all the big deal is, but there’s free pizza and the busses keep driving by and honking, so he’s having a great time.

We pass by a statue of Lincoln with ‘Marriage for All!’ and "Gay Rights are Human Rights!" flags tucked in the crooks of his arms and hanging off his hat.

It’s about noon, noon-thirty when we finally make it through the doors and out of the rain.

They’ve promised that anyone who’s inside when the doors shut will get married. We made it. We’re safe.

We still have a -long- way to go.

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They’re trying to fit as many people into City Hall as possible. Partially to get people out of the rain, mostly to get as many people indoors as possible. The line now stretches down into the basement and up side stairs and through hallways I’m not entirely sure the public should ever be given access to. We crawl along slowly but surely.

It’s after we’ve gone through the low-ceiling basement hallways past offices and storage and back up another set of staircases and are going through a back hallway of low-ranked functionary offices that someone comes along handing out the paperwork. “It’s an hour or so until you hit the office, but take the time to fill these out so you don’t have to do it there!”

We spend our time filling out the paperwork against walls, against backs, on stone floors, on books.

We enter one of the public areas, filled with displays and photos of City Hall Demonstrations of years past.

I take pictures of the big black and white photo of the Abraham Lincoln statue holding banners and signs against segregation and for civil rights.

The four year old boy we helped get inside runs past us around this time, chased by a blond haired girl about his own age, both perused by an exhausted looking teenager helplessly begging them to stop running.

Everyone is wet and exhausted and vibrating with anticipation and the building-wide aura of happiness that infuses everything.

The line goes into the marriage office. A dozen people are at the desk, shoulder to shoulder, far more than it was built to have working it at once.

A Sister of Perpetual Indulgence is directing people to city officials the moment they open up. She’s done up in her nun getup with all her makeup on and her beard is fluffed and be-glittered and on point. “Oh, I was here yesterday getting married myself, but today I’m acting as your guide. Number 4 sweeties, and -Congradulatiooooons!-“

The guy behind the counter has been there since six. It’s now 1:30. He’s still giddy with joy. He counts our money. He takes our paperwork, reviews it, stamps it, sends off the parts he needs to, and hands the rest back to us. “Alright, go to the Rotunda, they’ll direct you to someone who’ll do the ceremony. Then, if you want the certificate, they’ll direct you to -that- line.” “Can’t you just mail it to us?” “Normally, yeah, but the moment the courts shut us down, we’re not going to be allowed to.”

We take our paperwork and join the line to the Rotunda.

If you’ve seen James Bond: A View to a Kill, you’ve seen the San Francisco City Hall Rotunda. There are literally a dozen spots set up along the balconies that overlook the open area where marriage officials and witnesses are gathered and are just processing people through as fast as they can.

That’s for the people who didn’t bring their own wedding officials.

There’s a Catholic-adjacent couple there who seem to have brought their entire families -and- the priest on the main steps. They’re doing the whole damn thing. There’s at least one more Rabbi at work, I can’t remember what else. Just that there was a -lot-.

We get directed to the second story, northside. The San Francisco City Treasurer is one of our two witnesses. Our marriage officient is some other elected official I cannot remember for the life of me (and I'm only writing down what I can actively remember, so I can't turn to my husband next to me and ask, but he'll have remembered because that's what he does.)

I have a wilting lily flower tucked into my shirt pocket. My pants have water stains up to the knees. My hair is still wet from the rain, I am blubbering, and I can’t get the ring on my husband’s finger. The picture is a treat, I tell you.

There really isn’t a word for the mix of emotions I had at that time. Complete disbelief that this was reality and was happening. Relief that we’d made it. Awe at how many dozens of people had personally cheered for us along the way and the hundreds to thousands who’d cheered for us generally.

Then we're married.

Then we get in line to get our license.

It’s another hour. This time, the line goes through the higher stories. Then snakes around and goes past the doorway to the mayor’s office.

Mayor Newsom is not in today. And will be having trouble getting into his office on Tuesday because of the absolute barricade of letters and flowers and folded up notes and stuffed animals and City Hall maps with black marked “THANK YOU!”s that have been piled up against it.

We make it to the marriage records office.

I take a picture of my now husband standing in front of a case of the marriage records for 1902-1912. Numerous kids are curled up in corners sleeping. My own memory is spotty. I just know we got the papers, and then we’re done with lines. We get out, we head to the front entrance, and we walk out onto the City Hall steps.

It's almost 3PM.

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There are cheers, there’s rice thrown at us, there are hundreds of people celebrating us with unconditional love and joy and I had never before felt the goodness that exists in humanity to such an extent. It’s no longer raining, just a light sprinkle, but there are still no protestors. There’s barely even any news vans.

We make our way through the gauntlet, we get hands shaked, people with signs reading ”Congratulations!” jump up and down for us. We hit the sidewalks, and we begin to limp our way back to the BART station.

I’m at the BART station, we’re waiting for our train back south, and I’m sitting on the ground leaning against a pillar and in danger of falling asleep when a nondescript young man stops in front of me and shuffles his feet nervously. “Hey. I just- I saw you guys, down at City Hall, and I just… I’m so happy for you. I’m so proud of what you could do. I’m- I’m just really glad, glad you could get to do this.”

He shakes my hand, clasps it with both of his and shakes it. I thank him and he smiles and then hurries away as fast as he can without running.

Our train arrives and the trip south passes in a semilucid blur.

We get back to our car and climb in.

It’s 4:30 and we are starving.

There’s a Carls Jr near the station that we stop off at and have our first official meal as a married couple. We sit by the window and watch people walking past and pick out others who are returning from San Francisco. We're all easy to pick out, what with the combination of giddiness and water damage.

We get home about 6-7. We take the dog out for a good long walk after being left alone for two days in a row. We shower. We bundle ourselves up. We bury ourselves in blankets and curl up and just sort of sit adrift in the surrealness of what we’d just done.

We wake up the next day, Tuesday, to read that the California State Supreme Court has rejected the petition to shut down the San Francisco weddings because the paperwork had a misplaced comma that made the meaning of one phrase unclear.

The State Supreme Court would proceed to play similar bureaucratic tricks to drag the process out for nearly a full month before they have nothing left and finally shut down Mayor Newsom’s marriages.

My parents had been out of state at the time at a convention. They were flying into SFO about the same moment we were walking out of City Hall. I apologized to them later for not waiting and my mom all but shook me by the shoulders. “No! No one knew that they’d go on for so long! You did what you needed to do! I’ll just be there for the next one!”

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It was just a piece of paper. Legally, it didn’t even hold any weight thirty days later. My philosophy at the time was “marriage really isn’t that important, aside from the legal benefits. It’s just confirming what you already have.”

But maybe it’s just societal weight, or ingrained culture, or something, but it was different after. The way I described it at the time, and I’ve never really come up with a better metaphor is, “It’s like we were both holding onto each other in the middle of the ocean in the middle of a storm. We were keeping each other above water, we were each other’s support. But then we got this piece of paper. And it was like the ground rose up to meet our feet. We were still in an ocean, still in the middle of a storm, but there was a solid foundation beneath our feet. We still supported each other, but there was this other thing that was also keeping our heads above the water.

It was different. It was better. It made things more solid and real.

I am forever grateful for all the forces and all the people who came together to make it possible. It’s been twenty years and we’re still together and still married.

We did a domestic partnership a year later to get the legal paperwork. We’d done a private ceremony with proper rings (not just ones grabbed out of the husband’s collection hours before) before then. And in 2008, we did a legal marriage again.

Rushed. In a hurry. Because there was Proposition 13 to be voted on which would make them all illegal again if it passed.

It did, but we were already married at that point, and they couldn’t negate it that time.

Another few years after that, the Supreme Court finally threw up their hands and said "Fine! It's been legal in places and nothing's caught on fire or been devoured by locusts. It's legal everywhere. Shut up about it!"

And that was that.

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When I was in highschool, in the late 90s, I didn’t expect to see legal gay marriage until I was in my 50s. I just couldn’t see how the American public as it was would ever be okay with it.

I never expected to be getting married within five years. I never expected it to be legal nationwide before I’d barely started by 30s. I never thought I’d be in my 40s and it’d be such a non-issue that the conservative rabble rousers would’ve had to move onto other wedge issues altogether.

I never thought that I could introduce another man as my husband and absolutely no one involved would so much as blink.

I never thought I’d live in this world.

And it’s twenty years later today. I wonder how our line buddies are doing. Those babies who were running around the wide open rooms playing tag will have graduated college by now. The kids whose parents the one line-buddy was worried would see him are probably married too now. Some of them to others of the same gender.

I don’t have some greater message to make with all this. Other then, culture can shift suddenly in ways you can’t predict. For good or ill. Mainly this is just me remembering the craziest fucking 36 hours of my life twenty years after the fact and sharing them with all of you.

The future we’re resigned to doesn’t have to be the one we live in. Society can shift faster than you think. The unimaginable of twenty years ago is the baseline reality of today.

And always remember that the people who want to get married will show up by the thousands in rain that none of those who’re against it will brave.

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castle-dominion · 1 year ago

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c3x22 to love & die in LA

Ooh a plot heavy episode lol acab Dude it might be easier to hop than it is to crawl idk. Wow mafia lookin dude Lol the sarcastic "scary"

What time of day is this? Castle is here first! Lanie <3 I keep forgetting that bounty hunters are real. Arrest probs. Yep arrest. At least he still has a face.

Just like Murdoch! Ryan taking things back to s1 rly quick here with his outfit like that huh Silencers don't make them completely silent, they just dampen the noise

Royce has nice brown eyes & freckles

Beckett shut it Girl. Girl no.

She has a pic of him with her? That's sweet. (Also reminds me of george crabtree with a picture in his house with an awkward murdoch. if he wasn't so head over heels for julia he would be in love with... well pendrick but if he wasn't head over heels for pendrick he would be in love with george. Remember that time when william asked george out to the christmas ball?)

This is what it's like sitting in the back of a car with my two brothers & they put me in the middle Bro you could stand up to let her out, it's like the bus! It's castle obv. (could clip, but I won't)

I'll be your backup <3

"under the radar" cut to a fancy car Castle is so cocky Ew neat mural... I like maurice. Beckett has some really LA type clothing here...

Mob ties?

WAIT WHAT Guest house, reminds me of Japan. "Me too" XD apparently they went thru several iterations before settling on that.

Their little handshake

y'all PLEASE watch the bonus features if you can. Apparently this IS where they shoot Castle & even the camera ones are literally the ones who work on Castle. She's in rehab???

Raley & ochoa? That's VERY original castle /s. lmao doesn't huerve mean egg? what is that handshake? I love it RC: You're a cop, so it's your job. Rick go talk to ryan about his motivations & then make smth up for Raley! Update: I have now watched the audio commentaries & stuff for s1. Apparently Ryan was a boring character so Dever started carrying around Richard Castle books, probably borrowing them from beckett. Dever went "what is my character's motivation^/" & they said "idk" so he started reading castle books.

KB: *talking abt the case* KB: *trails off once she sees bootleg rysposito* (clipping)

GIRL "HOLA CHICA" IS EASIER TO WRITE THAN "GREETING IN SPANISH" WTF Aw look at them kiss in the morgue. LP: Wait is your friend that top-heavy tramp in reception? JE: Hm? What? HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO DISSOLVE? YOU MIGHT WANT TO SNAP SOME PICS QUICK. (clipping)

Did they call? How did rick learn abt the dissolving bullets? (love how he is on conspiracy websites tho lol) Girl??? Also the lockpick scene was ok except for the fact that she didn't physically unlock the door after getting the pegs aligned Watch ur fingerprints. No all the way back to new york? they're going to go back & then once in new york they'll have to come back to LA If royce can't hunt bounties then he'd totally be a PI Nice to hear LAPD instead of NYPD.

Ooh robbery homicide LMAO IT REALLY IS MUCH WORSE THAN ARREST. IT'S LIKE WHEN YOUR DAD SAYS HE'S NOT MAD JUST DISAPPOINTED. They often say "welcome to new york" & now it's "welcome to LA" & I think it's a nice change of pace.

Ryan outfit: patterned shirt, collared button-up as usual, tie. I love the little brother things here. Imagine if it was martha's acting school. Ryan just held up his fingers to say "line two" but montgomery saw & hun he might just hop on the phone too. JE: Sup girl? Hey she's genuinely being useful in the investigation. Or maybe not, maybe she's just telling them what to do even tho they can do it on their own See? Castle is smart enough

Now this is intense I love it. I also love how the man goes into the office just wearing his surfwear.

Ha not that good. Way ahead of you bro. These two are a great team. (tbh I'm clipping this bc I like seeing them do smart stuff)

Just like castle! Making up stories to mess with you! You're not so bad yourself castle??? Are u in a relationship? If she wasn't I'd say kiss kiss kiss. Huh her nails are painted.

Maurice my beloved lmao no it only melts nazis ok bud Could have yelled "coming, one sec" "We're not on the case anymore" I like Seeger's tie No, seeger went to the house for something. Wait it was for the gal who stole the stuff nvm.

Mum caught on right away that they would use the props YES RALEY/TAYLOR & OCHOA/HERVE! That's the dumbest thing ever I love how he just accepts that

This is so great. Apparently this is the same interview room as usual, they just changed it up a bit to make it look like the movie set. I mean you're right child molesters are the lowest of the low but they usually get killed so they are not actually IN prison. I like how we get to see the dramatic upset behind the set. update: OH it's bc we usually get to see people in the observation room like montgomery $500 is cheap af I wonder if they filmed that for the bonus features of the nikki heat film but they probably wouldn't include Reggie in there. Does this mean I can leave?

She's just walkin by stripping from all of the costume stuff they gave her None of the other ones are before a height measure thing, only Mannis is. He also looks to be above 6' even tho his profile says 6'0" update: THE EASTER EGGS FURIED CROWS

MAURICE! Also I can't tell if this guy is fancy, european, or gay. It's like that song, gay or european, & it's like dirk gently, possibly gay & definitely european.

Wow definitely not new york. Man has a tattoo. Oh of course they couldn't resist a shot of this. Does she have any bullet wounds? Appendicitis scars? I'm into girls but I'm not into this. (I'm into girls like Ryan who is not a girl. He is a lesbian to me though.) What accent is this? She grabbed his wrist now he's the one holding her hand? Weird

I thought that was the original plan lol RC: DOn't poke me! KB: Poke you? I want to kiss you! SO DO IT ALREADY (won't clip)

Decently obvious lie... (BESTIES HOW DO THEY BECOME GOOD ACTORS FOR 5X10 & HOW DID ESPOSITO LOSE ALL OF HIS "WE WERE TRAINED NOT TO GIVE UP INFORMATION" SKILLS?) Why did RM say this to espt instead of saying "you or you"? Also I'd def excpect esposito the "we were trained not to give up information" man to be good at lying. JE: *nods to ryan* RM: *Smiles as the two walk away* They are her brothers <3

RC out of the blue: Can i interest you in one of these robes? Seeger: ? No! Thank you!

Where in the world are they meeting her? Ok but the way Ryan whips his jacket around mm These two are partners & I love them He just answer's some stranger's phone with "yo" lol KB: ... ESPOSITO??? JE: BECKETT??? KB: Are you with mannis? JE, casually: Yeah I just shot him KB: JE: Why r u calling him? KB: Look we need to know where & when ganz is selling those bullets JE: Done JE, to mannis: Where's the deal going down? *gun pressed to his throat* DM: I'm hit man call an ambulance JE: Well my partner's on that KR: Nine, one... what comes after that one? DM: I;m in pain here man! JE gets the location out of him by pressing in on him & putting him in pain (acab) & then bringing the cell phone to the screaming man's voice & then he cracks, that easy, tells em where to go. KR comes in after that asking who shot royce which was a good call. It was Ganz.

the heck does "quarter of six" mean? Do you mean 5:15 or do you mean 5:45 or do you mean 6:15? I would say quarter TO six for 6.30, quarter PAST six for 6.15, third PAST six for 6.20 & half PAST six for 6.30. Yo where did beckett get a gun?

That's a sus buff tattooed guy She says "police" instead of nypd bc she doesn't have jurisdiction here & she is not lapd. Yo, nice knife! Mmm a smouldering cigar Hun u better have the safety on & the gun not cocked. easy way to lose a buttock. Glad we got a shot of her booty tho. She's not my type (except for maybe s1 beckett) but I can still appreciate a pretty lady.

Apparently she had to learn how to vault a gate on set that day in front of a hundred plus people. She tries to do most of her own stunts tho. I never imagined hell looked like you ugh good line good line First names <3 Girl u put the safety on right?

I like their little friendly ending together & then DX rick gives him a housecoat that's so great lol

I thought about it. But I knew I never would. I knew I couldn't

NOTE FROM A DEAD GUY SHIPS THEM. Care & love does not need to be romantic ig... Wait he wrote the note in all caps

I loved the costumes in this episode. V nice. v good.

It was a different episode today! I enjoyed it a lot! & I went five minutes overtime in my watch (I give myself double time to watch it) but other than that yeah I'm happy!

(Got some good clips here today)

#castle 3x22 #castle 3x22 quote #castle 3x22 spoilers #the LA episode

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meltwonu · 3 years ago

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11. “I didn’t know you were so sensitive.”

22. “Mine.”

78. “I don’t care what you do just fuck me.”

notes; racer!au/street-racing!au, the smallest hint of dom!joshua, inexperienced!reader, corruption kink, road head, dirty talk! Sorry I changed it a bit from biker josh to street racing josh! Still the same concept tho hehe 😉 💕 we love a bad boy Joshua moment 🥴😌 I’m rly excited about racer au u guys 😩 altho depending on how long it takes to get thru this cycle and if I have to take any breaks, I might need to do a schedule change when it gets closer October to prep for halloween month monster fuckin fics ☠️ more on that later 💕 As always, thank you sooooooo much for requesting! enjoy! 💕

*queued post

The first time Joshua took you on a date, it was a quiet dinner at 9PM before he’d taken you to a midnight street race that he’d taken part in.

You stood by the passenger’s side; eyes wide at the way everyone swooned over him as soon as he stepped out of the driver’s seat.

‘It’s not a big deal to be honest, it’s pretty fun.’ He’d said; hand gliding through his soft hair as your mouth hung agape, ‘The biggest hurdle is not getting caught.’

He was right - the thrill of the blue and red lights chasing after the two of you down the hillside at 2AM and Joshua’s nonchalant smirk as he barreled down the road had you panties wet every time.

And tonight was no different.

This time you’d eased into the passenger’s seat of his car before the race had started; Joshua’s brow raising as you buckled your seatbelt.

“Oh? I’m surprised you wanna be in the front row this time, baby.”

You smile gently, cheeks warm as you melt at the way he looks you up and down from the driver’s seat. “Um, y-yeah, I just--I thought it’d be a different experience than always waiting for you a-at the finish line, is all…”

Your panties stick to you like a second skin as you squirm slightly in your seat and Joshua revs the car a few times before he maneuvers the car right to the starting line.

“Hmm… Is that so? ‘Cause you’ve been lookin’ at me differently all night, baby. I think there’s something else you want~”

“W-what? No--No, I haven’t!” You reply panickedly; hands gripping the seatbelt for dear life as he chuckles.

“Are you sure? Because for once it looks like you’re the one who wants to eat me up instead of the other way around… Not that I’m complaining. I think it’s cute and I’m kinda gettin’ hard already just thinkin’ about what I wanna do to you~”

From the outside, Jun saunters up to the start line as he yells for both racers to get ready - hands in the air about to start the race as you try to find the words to say.

“Are your panties all wet thinkin’ about my hand up your cute ‘lil skirt last time, hmm? Me making you cum in your panties by just touching you a little bit… Who would’ve thought you’d get off while the cops were chasing us. You’re actually such a bad girl, aren’t you?”

‘Get set, GO!’

Joshua takes off in a heartbeat as you gasp at the intense rumbling from the car; the trees all a blur as the two of you fly past them in haste.

“You know, I always wanted to try road head, if you’re up for it~”

You know you don’t have a lot of time.

“Fuck, for someone who’s never done this before, you’re so fuckin’ good at it, baby…” He mutters from above you just as you sink your mouth down around his cock - lips stretching around his thick shaft in the mildly awkward position over the center console.

But Joshua doesn’t mind and doesn’t let it distract him from the point at hand as he switches gears and barrels down the hillside even faster than he ever has before.

“Did you get wet like this every single time I brought you out here?” You hum around his cock; hollowing out your cheeks and working your mouth up and down slowly.

“Mm, I would’ve wanted this to be a ‘lil more romantic than this for your first time suckin’ my cock but I won’t complain… Your mouth feels so fuckin’ good, baby… I can’t wait to feel what your pretty ‘lil pussy feels like around my cock too.”

You clench around emptiness as you whine around his girth - suddenly feeling extremely empty as the desire to be filled by Joshua’s cock only grows stronger with each passing second he’s filling your mouth.

He drifts around a bend in the road that has you momentarily pulling off of him as you sputter and peer up at him - lips wet and covered in precum as he meets your teary eyes for a fluttering millisecond.

“You look good like that,” He grits out, “Fuck, the way I’d ruin you right now if I could.”

“J--Joshua… My--my….” He sees you from the corner of his eye as you reach a hand between your own legs; your inner thighs covered in wetness as you mewl when you run your fingertips over your soaked panties.

“I didn’t know you were so sensitive, baby~ Such a bad girl sucking my cock like this and getting wet from it~”

You let out a soft cry before you’re wrapping your lips around his cock again, except this time, you keep your fingertips gliding against the wet fabric of your panties as you tease yourself in tandem with teasing him with your mouth.

“Oh, fuck…” Joshua groans, “I wanna cum down your pretty ‘lil throat~”

You rub soft circles around your clit from over your panties; the friction hardly enough for you to get off just yet.

“Such a filthy ‘lil thing... What would all your friends think of you knowing you’re sucking my cock like this, hmm? Sucking your boyfriend’s cock in the middle of a street race while you touch yourself and try to get yourself off with my cock lodged down your throat.” He licks his lips, eyeing the finish line before checking his rear view mirror for Seokmin’s car trailing close behind.

“This is just the beginning too~ I still have so much to show you, baby~ Especially the backseat of my car... Hah, you’d look so pretty with your legs spread wide for me while I fucked you back there~”

His words are enough for another gush of wetness to soak into your ruined panties and all you can do in response is moan around his cock and try to take more of him down your throat as you fight your gag reflex.

“Oh~ For the next race I think we’re going for the hill with a lot of bumps in the road... How about I have you keep a toy in that pretty ‘lil pussy and watch you lose it in the passenger’s seat of my car, hmm? I bet it’d feel so good~”

He feels his cock throbbing in your mouth the closer he gets to the finish line - in both aspects.

But it's the way you pull off of his cock; tongue lapping at his thick girth from base to tip before you’re sucking on the head like a lollipop.

“I don’t care what you do, just fuck me.” You groan; voice hoarse and throat stinging. “My pussy is so w-wet, Joshua... I, ah, feel s-so empty down h-here... Don’t you want to make me t-take your cock in the backseat...? I need it s-so bad...”

Joshua's car crosses the finish line only seconds before Seokmin’s does and the cheering from the outside only lasts a few seconds before the familiar blue and red lights are swarming the hillside and he’s cursing under his breath.

“You fuckin’ little minx. Once we’re out of sight from everyone, your pussy is mine. Got it? Mine.”

He’s eerily quiet as you stay bent over his lap; the urge to get the two of you out of sight fueling his adrenaline as his car screeches around another bend in the road.

“I hope you’re ready to learn what it’s like to really go for a ride, baby.”

#Joshua smut #seventeen smut #svt smut #Joshua scenarios #Joshua imagines #seventeen imagines #svt imagines #seventeen scenarios #svt scenarios #Joshua fic #Joshua hong

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isa-ah · 2 years ago

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can i just say. i love your art so much?? like i love the lil texture and all the weight in your lines. and like. your colours!! (the lil gradients you do are just!! amazing!! and add so much depth to a piece) + the way you do your shading and highlights is just so tasty and good to see. literally i never get tired of lookin at your art. i hope you have a good day + many years of healthy wrists :D

aw man thank u so much!!! I'm glad people are liking the current style shift. I used to put a lot more time into every piece but I just don't have the energy anymore so I've adapted a much easier and quick way of drawing to churn thru coms and still have a little left to draw for myself too <:)

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winterscaptain · 4 years ago

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inherited.

Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader a joyful future fic

a/n: this popped into my head fully formed. when i thought too hard about it, i cried. It’s sweet. enjoy! tell me what you think! this takes place in au!october 2022

words: 2k warnings: language, tooth-rotting fluff

summary: “i don’t have stepchildren, i have children who happened to be born before i met them.” – unknown

masterlist | a joyful future masterlist | ajf faq | requests closed!

You’re laid out flat on the bed, tooling around on your phone, when Jack comes in, gets a running start, and flops onto the bed beside you. His feet hang off the opposite side yours do, your heads close together.

Elliot and the girls are napping the early afternoon away, Jack had an early-release day from school, Aaron’s taking a half-day, and Isaac’s still stuck on that 750-piece puzzle on your office floor. You left one of the baby monitors in the nursery and one with him, just in case. The faint, staticky sound of him talking to himself grumbles through the little speaker on Aaron’s bedside table.

Jack doesn’t say anything, but pulls his phone out and starts doing whatever newly-minted seventeen-year-olds do on his phone beside you.

You, on the other hand, need to take care of an email from Aaron.

To: [email protected] From: [email protected]

CC: [email protected]

SSA Hotchner,

See attached for your quarterly performance evaluation from your supervisor, BAU Unit Chief SSA Emily Prentiss, cc’d here. Please direct any questions or concerns to SSA Prentiss.

Best, SSA Aaron Hotchner, J.D. Northeast Investigations and Operations Support Section Chief Quantico, VA

P.S. Leaving the office in 30. See you soon xx

You draft a quick reply and send it.

To: [email protected] From: [email protected]

Received.

Thanks, Hotch.

Best, SSA _______ Hotchner Behavioral Analysis Unit, Quantico, VA

P.S. Come in quietly thru the garage - C, S, E are still out.

With a roll of your eyes, you put your phone down and take a moment to look at Jack.

He’s nearly a man, the baby fat falling from his jaw and cheekbones, getting taller by the day. Much to Aaron’s chagrin, they’re about the same height now.

Jack’s eyes flicker from his phone and meet yours for a split second. “What?”

“Just lookin’ at you.”

A little puff of a laugh leaves his nose. “Why?”

One side of your mouth lifts. “I know you’re tired of hearing this, but if you ever have kids of your own, you’ll get it.”

He hums, tossing his phone onto the pillow behind him. “Well, yeah. I got that, but why?”

You roll onto your side, curling your legs fully onto the bed. It’s a good question, and one for which you’re not sure you have an answer. Thinking for a moment, you sigh. “So, with you, for example. I can’t really put it into words, but you’re a bit of a miracle.”

He squints (just like Aaron) and you continue.

“I have the privilege of being your mom, which is a title that isn’t really mine.” You tuck the inside of your lip between your teeth, trying to figure out how to articulate it.

It’s not that I don't want to be your mom but in the world where I’m not your mom, Haley is still here.

But there are some days I miss her so much I wish I didn’t have to be your mom. She was always going to be ‘mom.’

But then it’s the best thing in the world to be your mom and I wouldn’t want it any other way…

Fuck.

You start slow. “It’s a bit of a bittersweet thing. I never expected to be ‘mom’ to you while Haley was alive. No matter what would have or could have happened between your dad and me, Haley is your mom. So, the knowledge that we’re here - you and I, in this house with your brothers and sisters and your dad, the way we are - is very much grounded in Haley’s absence.”

You shake your head, realizing you’re getting off topic. “All this to say, it’s a bit of a miracle that I get to be your mom, and not just mom to those other little gremlins infesting this house.”

You both smile.

“And sometimes, I just need to stare at you, make sure you’re real, and sit in that kind of...feeling that I can’t quite articulate.”

Jack’s been listening the whole time, his brown eyes soft and open. “I think I get that. It makes sense - even if you and Dad still got married and had more kids, Haley would be ‘Mom’ and you would be...something else.”

You smile a little. “I guess you could say I inherited the title, in some ways.”

“That’s a good way to put it.” His eyes wander up to the ceiling, pensive.

“You know, I can’t remember a time when you weren’t around. Like, not every memory has you in it because you weren’t always there, but...there isn’t a single, like, phase of my life when you weren’t in it.”

It's your turn to listen.

“And I don’t remember my mother very well. You and Dad always made sure I knew who she was - I feel like I know everything about her, but like…” He trails off for a second before looking back at you. “She still feels like a stranger, a little bit.”

You nod. “Someone distant, maybe?”

“Yeah. Like I feel connected to her and everything but you’re my mom. You’ve always been that person for as long as I can remember. I can’t imagine anything else.” He shakes his head a little. “It wouldn’t be right to call you anything else.”

A shaky breath leaves you through your mouth, unexpected tears springing into your eyes. Since you’re on the deep end of the conversation pool, you switch gears a little. “Is it ever weird? Having the little ones around? Your dad and I having more kids?”

He immediately shakes his head. “Nah. I can really remember when it was just the two of us - me ‘n Dad - and then then three of us after that one Christmas. But I don’t really miss it? Like, sometimes it gets so fucking loud in this house -”

“Language,” you chastise. It’s weak, at best.

He snorts, revising. “Sometimes, it gets really loud in this house and I have those moments of like, ‘oh my god why are they so loud why can’t it just be me and Mom and Dad again,’ but they never last long.” He laughs a little. “Like right now, they’re just in the other room napping and I miss them.”

“You know when you laugh like that you look just like your mother?”

That sunshine smile breaks across his face again. “Yeah?”

“Mhmm.” You reach out to him, brushing the apple of his cheek with the side of your finger - just a second, just an affectionate little bit of contact. His smile gets wide enough that you’re treated to one dimple. “But those,” you poke the little indent by the corner of his mouth and he screws his face up. “Those are all your dad’s.”

Jack grows pensive again. “Dad said he’d tell me about the divorce if I wanted to ask.”

Many of your conversations bounce around like this. Fifteen years of life together make up for seemingly contextless non-sequiturs. You know, just like you do with Aaron, he has more to say.

You wait him out.

“If I asked, would you tell me?”

With a sigh, “I can tell you how it was for me as their friend, but I won’t speak for Dad or Haley.”

Jack nods, understanding. “What was it like? Like, the...actual divorce? Did you get caught in the middle?”

“It sucked. It really sucked, but no, I never got caught up in it that way. Sure, they vented to me about each other after it was all over - which,” you add, “by the way, was its own form of comedy.”

That gets a smile out of Jack.

“But they never asked me to tell them they were right or made me feel like I had to choose a side. I would have hated to become a carrier pigeon for their bullshit.” With a chuckle: That’s a recipe for disaster.”

“Ah yeah, miscommunication as a plot device. We covered that in English last semester.”

You laugh. “Exactly. Even then, though, they loved each other so much and they both tried their hardest to make it work, but couldn’t.”

Jack’s thinking again, looking more and more pressed by the minute as he stares at the ceiling.

“What?” You ask.

“I just -” His mouth presses into a thin line, revealing a dimple, and you thank your lucky stars you love Aaron as much as you do because right now, you’re looking at his clone. “I just...I’m trying to think of something that could, like, break you and Dad up...but I literally can’t think of anything. You guys just work.”

He’s thinking out loud, finding the question as he goes. You let him. “Even as mad as you get at each other sometimes, I’ve never been afraid. Even when you’re upset with each other you’re still...I dunno...like, two parts of the same person?” He shakes his head. “That doesn’t make sense.”

“No, my love, it does. Your father and I…”

You sigh, knowing you’re exposing yourself for the person you are, instead of hiding behind your role as a parent.

“...we need each other too much, perhaps to a fault. He’s my favorite person and my biggest weakness. There isn’t much I wouldn’t do for him, and I know he’s the same way about me.” You pause. “We don’t really know how not to be a team.”

Jack’s seen that in them almost all his life. It doesn't surprise him. He’s not sure he believes in soulmates, but he’d imagine you and Aaron are pretty damn close.

His mouth twists. “I’d imagine a lot of people feel that way until the shit hits the fan.”

You nod, your head wavering from side to side. “Well...yeah. Not everyone feels that way about their spouse, though.”

“Sure,” he relents, looking a bit like a lawyer. “But if they do, how do you get to that place where you call it quits, you know? How do you decide you don’t need each other or love each other? And how do you know who’s wrong?”

Good question.

“I mean, it’s less about who’s wrong, and more about who’s right that causes all the trouble, I think, at least from an outside perspective. With your parents, they were both right in a lot of ways.”

You think for a minute, changing directions a bit. “When there are two right answers that are mutually exclusive, there’s not much you can do. Nobody’s wrong - everyone just wants what they want, and there isn’t a clear compromise. Sometimes, the compromise is too much...So, you can still love each other but not be married, like your dad and Haley.”

“Your mom left,” you continue, “because she reached a breaking point. Her needs and your dad’s needs were mutually exclusive - no compromise existed. And, again, in a lot of ways, they were both right.”

You shrug, admitting, “They both made bad choices and mistakes in that process, but nobody was the bad guy. In some ways, that’s harder. You love them, but you can’t have them in your life in that way.”

His face clears up. “That makes a lot of sense, actually. Like, I’m thinking about friends and stuff - how some friends are really great outside of school but I would never want to do a group project with them - but for...you know, marriage.”

You laugh. “Yeah, it’s a lot like that. And you were just about the only thing your parents could agree on at any given time.”

“Really?”

“Yep. They love you, and always want what’s best for you.” Your eyes flicker to the photo on Aaron’s dresser - the one of you and Haley and Jack nearly fifteen years ago, sandwiching his cheeks in kisses. “When you’re a good parent with that kind of mindset, it’s easy to work as a team for your children.”

“Like you and Dad.”

“Like me and Dad.”

Jack quiets for a minute. “Can I tell you something?”

You turn toward him, reaching kind of up and away for his hand. Your clasped fingers end up between your faces. “Always, my love.”

“Sometimes...Sometimes, I wish I looked more like you.”

Your brow pinches. “Why?” The question is soft, all curiosity.

“I dunno? I think I just like, want to resemble you because you’re my mom, you know?”

You let out a laugh. “Jack you have no idea. You should ask your father how much you resemble me.”

He shakes his head, a confused little smile on his face. “I don’t get it.”

“You have picked up eighty percent of my mannerisms and it drives your dad up the wall.” You sit up, releasing his hand and ruffling his soft dark hair as you pretzel-cross your legs. “So if we’re going by his book, you inherited plenty from me. In fact, more than enough.”

“Alright, see, now that makes sense.” Jack sits up across from you right as the door from the garage opens.

You both wait, quiet, with little smiles on your faces, listening to his car keys hit the kitchen counter (and slide a little - he tossed them), the short walk to his office where he sets his briefcase down and removes his suit jacket (to be hung up later, if he remembers). You can hear him travel to your office, checking on Isaac and looking for you, before taking the stairs two at a time to the baby’s room.

Jack looks over his shoulder and you follow his gaze, tuned into the baby monitor. There’s a shaky kind of sigh that crackles through the speaker, and you can almost see him reaching into the crib.

“If he wakes that baby up,” you say, dead serious, “I’ll kill him.”

Jack sniffs, all business. “I’ll grab the shovel and trash bags and you drive, yeah?”

You offer your hand. Jack shakes on it before dissolving into a fit of conspiratorial giggles. He falls into you, turning so his back is against your chest and his head tipped back against your shoulder.

It’s moments like this where he feels five years old again.

As big as he is and as much of a shit as he can be, he’s still the same boy.

The pair of you are so caught up in your own private joke that you don’t hear Aaron as he crosses the house and leans on the door jamb. When you both catch sight of him, it only makes you laugh harder. You wrap your arms around Jack, trapping him close to you as you hook your chin over his shoulder.

He’s examining you both, brow a little furrowed, mouth a little open in an almost-smile. He’s seen the Mom and Jack Show before - it’s a series that started about ten years ago with about a thousand episodes and no cancellation in sight. “What on earth are you two doing in here?”

Jack drops into a deadpan. “Hypothetically plotting your demise for the hypothetical instance that you hypothetically wake Elliot and hypothetically deprive Mom of her hypothetical peace and quiet.”

Aaron nods, as if deeply considering it. “I see. Well, luckily, we’ve narrowly avoided that hypothetical scenario.”

You smile at him. “So thus, you live another day. Congratulations.”

Aaron breaks with a smile, his commitment to the bit evaporating in the presence of two of his favorite faces. He toes off his shoes and crosses to you both, still all wrapped up and letting little laughs escape. He kisses Jack on the head and you lightly on the lips before flopping down on his back with a satisfied sigh.

You share a devious glance with Jack. Aaron throws a pillow over his face, his voice muffled.

“Yeah, alright, you two. That’s enough.”

+++

tagging: @arganfics @quillvine @stxrryspencer @agenthotchner @wandaswitxh @hurricanejjareau @ughitsbaby @rousethemouse @criminalsmarts @shrimpyblog @genevievedarcygranger @ssaic-jareau @good-heavens-chris-evans @angelsbabey @writefasttalkevenfaster @venusbarnes @hotchsflower @ogmilkis @marvels-agents100 @hotchslatte @risenfox @mrs-dr-reid @captain-christopher-pike @dwellingsofrosie @pan-pride-12 @sunshine-em @jdougl-love @sageellsworth05 @dreila03 @forgottenword @aaronhotchnerr @ssa-morgan @buckybau @tegggeeee @abschaffer2 @ssacandice-ray @ellyhotchner @lotties-journey-abroad @mrs-joel-pimentel-23-25 @laneygthememequeen @violentvulgarvolatile @mooneylupinblack @ssareidbby @violet-amxthyst @zizzlekwum @lcvischmitt @qvid-pro-qvo @mandylove1000 @simsiddy @jeor @synonymforlame @roses-and-grasses @bwbatta @capricorngf @missdowntonabbey @averyhotchner @cevanswhre @joanofarkansass @infinity1321 @popped-weasels @evee87 @nuvoleincielo @spencerelds @ssahotchnerr @this-broken-band-girl @winqhster @reidtomestyles @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @the-falling-in-the-danger @nattylite49 @crazyshannonigans @softbibxtch @iconicc @mangoberry43

#aaron hotchner x reader #hotch x reader #aaron hotchner imagine #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fanfiction #aaron hotchner #criminal minds #hotch #tali writes fanfiction #tali talks cm #a joyful future #a joyful future fanfic

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ayzrules · 4 years ago

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✶ 𝐇𝐗𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐒: 𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 & 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒, 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 & 𝐃𝐀𝐌𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 Long story short, I have been thinking about this for wayyyyy too long now and wanted to get some ~thoughts~ & analysis written down! This post is going to be...fairly long, lol. Apologies in advance :D

Also, if you can’t see the last gif (the one for ‘holy’), click here. Tumblr keeps fucking up the image when i try to upload it :////

This post is probably going to be about 2/3 yorknew & phantom troupe/kurapika focused, 1/3 chimera ants, maybe with some references to other arcs (including manga-only arcs) mixed in. so, ofc, tons of spoilers ahead! also, i realize that my blog theme is hard to read (and i’m p sure clicking ‘keep reading’ sends you to the og post itself), so i’m linking the post w/ full text copy/pasted in on my art backup side blog (which has a more legible font) here.

✶ 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 I’m sure absolutely nobody is surprised with me starting here - there is just. SO. MUCH. DEATH. in hxh. & right from the start, one thing I noticed that togashi really emphasized was the #4 and its connection to death. in japanese, chinese, and im p sure some other asian cultures the number 4 is pronounced like the word for death so it’s associated with death in general, and boy oh boy does the ‘deadly number 4′ thing show up E V E R Y W H E R E. we get to the hunter exam, and hisoka is applicant #44. kurapika is #404. i didn’t notice it at first, but this was so intentional holy shit. togashi is NOT SUBTLE.

So pika & hisoka are, right off the bat, associated with death. okay. and then there are even more clues to drive the point home: hisoka is member #4 in the phantom troupe, kurapika’s birthday is april 4th (aka 4/4). 100% not a coincidence (!!). with hisoka, it’s pretty obvious why togashi’s throwing all this death 444444 stuff around - dude is a psycho murder pedo clown, literally gets off on killing people (and there’s also the fact that judas sits 4th from the left in the last supper painting, and he’s sort of the judas equivalent for the phantom troupe). with kurapika, though, it’s a bit more subtle and woven deeper into his characterization, which i LOVE. togashi puts the mans in blue & gold & white (traditionally ‘pure’ or ‘heavenly’ colors), makes him so fucking kind & so good-hearted.....when he’s not relentlessly pursuing his revenge, ofc. more on this in the next section, but pika = death. togashi has made that v v v clear.

Backtracking a bit to hisoka, though, I also just wanted to point out the 4 is death symbolism in the fortunes too (GOD i love the fortunes): in one translation, he’s the false fourth moon, and in the og japanese (i think), he’s the false hare (4th in the lunar zodiac or w/e it’s called. i don’t know the japanese cultural influences here, but in the chinese legend that established the zodiac animals, they race across the heavenly river & the top 12 animals got zodiac slots. the hare finished 4th, so it’s #4 in the cycle).

And just as a final note, Tserriednich is the fourth prince of the kakin empire, and also another dude who has a hard-on for murder & other gory shit. again: togashi is not subtle with this, lmfao

✶ 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐘, 𝐔𝐍𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐘 As probably everyone who’s gotten to yorknew knows, togashi is so 0 fucks given when he wants to be. I mean there’s the whole thing where he just. took New York and decided, Yorknew. LMFAO, but also, he made the main antag of that arc be named chrollo lucilfer, sit around in a ruined church, have a reversed cross coat, pale & dark-haired/dark-eyed, generally dressed in dark colors, very terrible murder guy. liiiike......chrollo x devil symbolism game is 1000/10 at this point lmaooo

And i know absolutely nothing about christianity in general, but pt/kurapika & yorknew arc is just so full of christian imagery/symbolism! one thing that i L O O O O O O V E though is how togashi really blurs the traditional christian-coded good/evil, holy/damned boundaries.

Back to kurapika: he wears gold and blue, his coloring is very stereotypically ‘angelic’, he’s precious and good and kind. his chains are all about ~judgment~ and ~healing~ - some of the chains are also in literal cross shapes, aren’t they? And the chain dagger in his own heart...the imagery is very startlingly similar to the immaculate heart of mary, where the swords stabbing thru the heart apparently represent seven sorrows. IDK much about this stuff other than the visual similarities; literally had to google ‘daggers through heart christianity?’ to even get the name of that thing LOL. anyway, at first, it seems like togashi establishes him as the ‘angel’, the ‘good’, the ‘holy’ in the angel/devil, good/evil, holy/damned dichotomy between him and chrollo.

But that’s not the end of the story. his entire storyline is driven by a huuuuuuuge giant desire for vengeance, first of all, and then there’s the scarlet eyes, which canonically are seen as demonic/cursed/what have you (according to one of the movies or smth? where they show pika as a 10 y/o?), and then we also have red eyes in modern culture being associated w pretty much the same thing (vampires, anyone?). the fight scene with uvo has everything in b&w besides the blood on his face & his red eyes & the moon (<<< more fortune foreshadowing & symbolism, i love to see it), and there are tonssss of scenes where he has to suppress his rage. so all of that is obviously not very angelic of him i would say LOL. in fact, what i find super interesting is that the scarlet/red eyes (which are ‘demonic’) is actually the driving factor behind his super powerful nen abilities; this ties in so well with the fortunes & death associations imo! the fortunes call him the ‘death-bringer’ in one translation, or ‘half-angel, half-death’, so that’s one side of pika = red eyes = death, but there’s also the fact that emperor time is literally draining his life force. so pika = death for both himself and others namely the pt, question mark?

Now for chrollo: togashi’s devil symbolism is EXTREMELY overt with him, but i love the subtler jesus references too. the church thing, obviously, and the st. peters cross which is cuz st peter respected jesus too much & didn’t think he was worthy to die in the same way as him (or something like that, i am the most atheist person in the world & hxh is literally my entire christian education pls) but is also used as an anti-christianity symbol these days. bandit’s secret looks like a bible, lbr, and mans has a cross tattoo.

Other things beyond visuals - 12 spiders, 12 apostles; hisoka’s betrayal, where member #4 can be thought to correspond to judas sitting 4th from left at last supper. and this miiiiight be a bit of a stretch, but i think the meteor city being the place of origin may also play into the blurred line between angel/devil and holy/damned here; meteors are defined as space rocks that are in earth’s atmosphere, becoming incandescent in the process. meteorites are for the kinds that actually reach the ground. and idk, lucifer was cast out of heaven / sky too right? so i think there might be some subtle fallen angel imagery/symbolism playing into the pt as well

✶ 𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 (𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒) Last section yay! i don’t have as much to say about this, besides when i was making chimera ant arc edits & realized that there might have been some subtle gon/meruem parallels???

So obviously, everyone knows that line killua says to gon - “you are light” - and then i was just remembering that meruem’s name means.... “light that illuminates all” (!!!!). maybe it’s a coincidence, but knowing togashi, i’m leaning towards nahhhh. there HAS TO be some kinda meaning there (!!).

Going back to the events of the chimera ant arc....ooh boy. let’s see: gon is optimistic & hopeful even in the face of kite potentially being dead, killua says he’s light, they find kite & dude is fucked up, gon is pissed. gets all angry & ~dark~, especially during the palace invasion when he’s staring pitou down as she fixes up komugi. then the actual fight against pitou: more darkness, more anger, but through it all there’s still light, namely his jajanken being very orange & fiery lookin.....and that final sequence, where he puts all his possible nen he’d ever have into his ~final form~ or wahtever & turns into a male version of true form!bisky but dressed in a crop top & short-shorts (i am SCARRED, btw. s c a r r e d !). there’s just huuuge flashes of light as that’s going on, and it reminded me of supernovas or dying stars when i was thinking about it, where the star is like, collapsing under its own weight? & burning thru its own fuel, until there’s nothing left except a dwarf or black hole or what have you. one final, extremely deadly burst of light & energy before death.

On the meruem side of things: born into a dark cave, exhibits a traditionally evil/cruel/wicked/whatever personality/traits so that has ppl associating him with darkness. then he gets to know komugi, starts to appreciate other aspects of humanity, seems like he could have actually turned into a decent person who doesn’t want to eat everyone - so that’s a ‘path to light’, maybe? - and then the extermination team yeets themselves into the palace, netero takes him out to bumfuck nowhere, they fight. netero’s fighting is just ALL light, from his giant ass golden 100-type guanyin bodhisattva to the poor man’s rose. again, there’s the sense of finality to it all, in a similar vein to dying stars: netero comes in determined to kill meruem no matter what, and we all know netero doesn’t flake. then we see netero get destroyed after the zero hand, and he triggers the rose, and everything is burning & on fire before the flames are put out and all turns dark again.

But wait!!! pouf & youpi revive meruem and all he does is play gungi with komugi, even with the poison of the rose. he eventually dies, and the gungi pieces in that final shot of them together (i am BAWLING just thinking about it holy shit) has one that’s all white, one that’s a black ring and white inside. i assume all white is for komugi, who has never done ANYTHING wrong in her LIFE, so i like to think that the 2nd one is for meruem - born “into darkness”, literally & figuratively, but he turns something like ‘good’ by the end. it’s interesting how togashi has sort of gone for a bit of a subversion here: the hero going from light to darkness, and the main antag from darkness to light.

✶ 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐋𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍 AahhhhHHHHHhhh so if you read all the way down here through my LONG rambles, tysm! i would LOVE LOVE LOVE to hear what other people think about all this, and i’ve FOR SURE missed tons and tons of stuff - chimera ants is just. SO MUCH. and i don’t know it as well as yorknew eeek.

I’m not sure if i’m really ~knowledgeable~ in any other areas relating to hxh, so this might be the only one of these that i do, but i definitely think about some of this - esp all the religious symbolism & #4 stuff - a ton! so in the meantime, if it’s of any interest, i’m just going to shamelessly plug my hxh x religious beliefs/superstitions edit series :D lots of love to all!!!

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wxbitna · 3 years ago

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hello my good dudes it is i, gemma, back on my bullshit 🤪 on today’s episode i’m introducing my bby gorl bitna, the one who looks real elegant on the outside but that’s only bc her posture is unclockable ( do not speak 2 her it will ruin the illusion ). if uve watched winx, she may b a lil familiar 2 stella bc,,, ya girl lacks creativity n what about it!! ok anw, under the cut is a longform ramble summary of her!! skip 2 the end for some cool plot ideas 🤪 also please spare this post a LIKE to plot!! i can do tumblr ims or u can find me on my discord ( ding dong#8039 ) ☆

2 all u astrology hoes (( me )) she’s a virgo sun, capricorn moon, taurus rising 🤪

hails from a family of v accomplished ballerinas & was a ballerina herself! she’s... honestly she’s not bad at it?? but her skill is v much thru loads of practice as opposed to the rest of her family, who also practices A Lot but as a cute bonus, are also blessed w the it factor

has some weird sister (?) complex... she’s in the corps de ballet ( like... think background dancers ) while byeol was a principal dancer even tho they’re only 2 years apart : ) her sister is the best ballerina to come from the long line of song ballerinas & everyone knows this

bitna is insanely jealous of her sister ( someone give bitna the worst sibling award ) bc byeol is taller, prettier, more extroverted, friendlier, beautifuller, amazinger like literally everything n bitna is just a bitter bitch

anw bitna’s and her family’s lives revolve around ballet so no one rlly pays any mind to anything outside of it, like they truly be existing in this tchaikovsky bubble

when bitna was 14-15, her powers of light manifested and she had a real talent for it?? she showed this off to her family in a ‘hey guys... look at me... there’s more than just ballet guys i’m real good at light haha’ kinda way n her parents were like lol uh cool n e ways...

so back to ballet 🤪 all that practice paid off and the company wants to promote her to a soloist and gave her her first principal dance, so bitna’s life was truly lookin up!! ( this was probably at the start of 2021 )

she practices so much that she overworked herself bc she was just so nervous n rlly did not want to fuck it up

this backfired bc... bc she overworked herself, she ended up falling on stage twice, vomiting, then proceeding to run away mid-performance w the music still playing in the bg...

needless to say she quit ballet ( in a way that’s like no u didn’t fire me bc i quit!! ) n she realises then that she rlly has nothing to hold onto? like her life was genuinely all abt ballet she barely even has friends

but she remembers her talent w light so she takes the pre-enrolment assessment n passes!! so now she’s off to the academy bc ya girl is pulling the v classic so i clowned myself n now im running away n changing my name

if u know her u don’t

also idk where to put this but it seems like an impt point, but ya girl has a superiority complex ( aka acting superior as a defense mechanism for her feelings of inferiority ) n this also extends to the way she dresses aka she’s overdressed 110% of the time

she also has really dry humour and can be v quick to point out the obvious ( character inspo: phoebe from friends ) and people may confuse this for her being blunt n rude but she’s honestly just socially awkward guys

short summary am i right 🤪 ok now for some plot ideas!!

ur muse knows enough abt ballet to recognise her sister : ) cue “wait aren’t you song byeol? omg”

ur muse watches so much faetube n stumbled upon this viral video of this ballerina literally falling, puking on stage, n running tf away... wait isn’t that her

ur muse met bitna like Once n maybe they were acquaintances, n last u remembered she was all abt ballet n was so uppity abt it too so wtf is she doing in the academy this is like the polar opposite to that

where her roomies at!? bitna is the worst roommate in existence ( think hogging the bathroom, leaving her shit around the common areas cause she has nvr roomed w anyone in her life and doesn’t understand this common decency... at least she’s a clean person? hehe )

u guys r at the bulletin board n there’s only one (1) spot left for training simulations... her tall ass rudely steps between u n the board to put her name down... a fight ensues

bitna is a m*n objectifier so pls someone match w her on wink i would love to see how this date goes down w her awkward ass

ur in class tryna concentrate on ur element n u hear someone say “you’re doing it wrong” v snippily. it’s bitna. wyd

may she pls hav a crumb of besties 🥺👉👈

#𝐀𝐂𝐓 𝐕. —— 𝐏𝐈𝐀𝐍𝐎 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐀 𝐍𝐎. 𝟏𝟒 𝐎𝐏. 𝟐𝟕 𝐍𝐎. 𝟐 / OUT OF CHARACTER #wx:intro

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livinwithaltitude · 3 years ago

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Lookin pretty sharp at the beginning of the team time trial (TTT) last night! Six of us (yes someone is camera shy at the back) looking like a cohesive locomotive engine … for a while anyways!

In zwift there are rider categories A thru D. Essentially based on you power to weigh ratio. TTTs try and group similar riders together in a team. Then you ride against other teams in a coffee class e.g. mocha Ds, lattes Cs, etc. There are some rules on mixing people up. Last night Andrea joined us, we five are all Cs, Andrea is an A rider and a fast one at that! We were Espressos for the night!

There is a cycling term, that you only have so many matches in the box to burn. You want to save those matches for as long as possible. Let’s me say right now, my matchbox was already a little low on matches.

Two laps around a flat course. The plan was, lap one, we all take turns at the front. Lap two, Andrea rides hard and we hang on. That plan was good until one of our number had his connection blip out. I happened to be behind him and got stuck there for a couple of seconds until his power dropped enough to let me by. That was just long enough for the other four to disappear up the road. We have to have four finishers and we were only 10K into a 30K race. Gotta get back on … strike the first match!

I caught back up after a crazy effort, we then hit the only climb on the course. I fought way to the front to help pull the team up. That’s another match! Doh!

A little respite down the other side but not much or enough.

We go past the start/finish for the next lap. Legs are not too bad but my heart rate is stupid high. Time to spin up the cadence a bit. It seems a bit counterintuitive but spinning faster brings the heart rate down some.

Andrea hit the front for the second lap and just went for it. We just hung on. Riders in a line create a draft effect. The rest of us took turns in second place to let others rest behind.

We hit the climb again, I moved up ahead of Andrea, prolly not my best decision but if you at least start a climb at the front, you are unlikely to fall off the back so quickly. Strike another match! Up and over the top but no rest this time. 10ish K to go, the team had the bit between their teeth … push push push!

Heart rate back up above 165, not sustainable! Match box on fire and burning nicely! Where are the marshmallows?

With about 1.5K to go, I lost the back of the group. The brain was willing but the legs were like, that’s a big fat nope! Told the team to go on, they did. I rolled over the line 30s behind them!

Completely gassed, you could have rung me out and watered the garden at that point. Needed some time to cool in front of the monster fan I use. Might need to get another one!

Interestingly we were not that much faster than our regular coffee class. Andrea obviously held back to save our blushes 😊

Who knew riding bike indoors could be so exciting?

#zwift #zwiftcycling

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seanhowe · 4 years ago

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“For Dave Glover” by Bob Dylan, 1963

Dave Glover: “[Dylan] said, well, they called me up and they wanted something for the Newport Book, and they needed it like in a week, and I didn’t have it. I said, well, I don’t have anything. And they said, well, anything, have you got anything laying around, is there anything you started? He said, well, I got this letter I was writing to a friend of mine. And they said, well, great. So, actually about the first two lines of that are actually a letter to me as this pretext for writing this sort of recapitulation about where he is, and what he’s doing, and what he’s been up to. That was cool. I didn’t mind. It was okay. It was kind of weird.”

Yuh ask in the last letter how come I aint wrote lately

Yuh say that writin t me’s like blowin words at a stone wall

Yuh ask in a quiet way if I changed my ways so hard that I don remember old friends

Yuh even ask if I’m mad at yuh for somethin

An with each letter sent yuh never got a one back

An I know how yuh mus’ feel

Dave Glover—harmonica sidekick an guitar pardner

Dave Glover—best friend in the highest form

Dave Glover—true rebel an unconscious outlaw

Dave Glover—ramblin do-gooder a the best breed

Dave Glover—who knew me before I hit or got hit by New York City

Dave Glover—who's everythin I stand for or am a part of

An I don even answer a letter from ‘m

I don even answer one little lousey letter

An I ask m’self am I crazy

This is Dave writin t you, man

This is somebody you love

We used t drink cough medicine bottles a vodka t'gether

We used t stay up all nite laughin and singin

And we did that when there weren't too many people doin it

Hey man—I'm sorry— // I mean I'm really sorry

I wrote many lines in the past few years but there ain't no letters in none a the words t spell out how sorry I am

It's a complicated day

I keep rememberin the songs we used t sing an play

The songs written thirty fifty years ago

The dirt farm songs - the dust bowl songs

The depression songs - the down and out songs

The ol blues and ballads

I think a Woody's songs

I think a Woody's day

"This land I'll defend with my life if it be"

An I say t myself "Yeah that's right"

"Hitler's on the march"

"I don't wan''m takin my ground"

"I don't wan''m livin on my land"

An I see two sides man

I see two roads to pick yer route

The American way or the Fascist way

When there was a strike there's only two kind of views

An two kinds of tales t tell the news

Thru the unions eyes or thru the bosses eyes

An yuh could stand on a line an look at yer friends

An stand on that same line an see yer foes

It was that easy

"Which Side're You On" ain't phony words

An they ain't from a phony song

An that was Woody's day man

Two sides

I don know what happened cause I wasn't aroun but somewhere along the line a that used t be day things got messed up

More kinds a sides come int' the story

Folks I guess started switchin sides an makin up their own sides

There got t be so many sides that no eyes could could see the eyes facin'm

There got t be so many sides that all of'm started lookin' like each other

I don pretend to know what happened man, but somehow all sides lost their purpose an folks forgot about other folks

I mean they must a all started goin against each other not for the good a their side but for the good a jes their own selves

An them two simple sides that was so easy t tell apart bashed an boomed an exploded so hard an heavy that t'day all'ts left and made for us is the one big rockin rollin

COMPLICATED CIRCLE

Nowadays folk's brains're bamboozled an bowled over by categories labels an slogans an advertisements that could send anybody's head in a spin It's hard t believe anybody's tellin the truth for what that is I swear it's true that in some parts a the country folks believe the finger-pointers more'n the President It's the time a the flag wavin shotgun carryin John Birchers It's the time a the killer dogs an killer sprays It's the time a the billboard sign super flyin highways It's the time a the pushbutton foods an five minute fads It's the time a the white collar shirt an the white sheeted hood and the white man's sun tan lotion It's time a guns and grenades an bombs bigger'n any time's ever seen It's the time a Liz Taylor fans - sports fans and electric fans It's the time when a twenty year ol colored boy with his head bloody don get too much thought from the seventy year ol senator who wants t bomb Cuba I don't know who the people were man that let it get this way but they got what they wanted out a their lives an left me an you facin a scared raped world They frained the free thinkin air an left us with a mental institution circle They rotted the poor wind and left us mixed up mislead puny breeze They stole Abraham Lincoln's road an sold us Bill Moore's highway They shot down trees - buried the leaves an nailed "Profess" t the gravestone They damned up the clear runnin river of "Love thy neighbor" said by Jesus Christ a Bethlehem an poluted us with "I'll guard" "the school with my body" said by governor Wallace of Alabama They robbed the Constitution of the land an snuck in the censors of the mind They bought up everythin at the auction an left us with a garbage market a fools an fears an frustratin phoniness Yuh ask how I'm doin Dave I'm still singin - I'm still writin I'm still doin all a things I used to do I guess But the difference is probably that now I really ain't thinkin about what I'm doing no more I do worry no more bout the covered up lies and twisted truth in front a my eyes I don worry no more bout the no-talent criticizers an know-nothin philosophizers I don worry no more bout the cross-legged corner sitters who try an make rules for the ones travelin in the middle a the room I'm singin an writin what's on my own mind now What's in my own head and what's in my own heart I'm singin for me an a million other me's that've been forced t'gether by the same feelinNot by no kind a side Not by no kind a category People hung up and strung out People frustrated an corked in an bottled up People on no special form or field - age limit or class I can't sing "Red Apple juice" no more I gotta sing "masters a War" I can't sing "Little Maggie" with a clear head I gotta sing "Seven Curses" instead I can't sing "John Henry" I gotta sing "Hollis Brown" I can't Sing "John Johannah" cause it's his story an his people's story I gotta sing "With God On My Side" cause it's my story an my people's I can't sing "The Girl I Left Behind" cause I know what it's like to do it I gotta sing "Boots a Spanish Leather" cause I know what's like to live it But don't get me wrong now Don think I go way out a my way not t sing no folk songs That ain't it at all The folk songs showed me the way They showed me that songs can say somethin human Without "Barbara Allen" there'd be no "Girl From The North Country" Without no "Lone Green Valley" there'd be no "Don't Think Twice" Without no "Jesse James" there'd be no "Davy Moore" Without no "Twenty one Years" there'd be no "Walls a Red Wing" Hell no Them ol songs're the only kinda picture left t show the new born how it used t be in them times Them ol songs tell us what they had t run thru or walk thru or dance thru The ol songs tell how they loved an how they kissed They tell us what they rejected and objected to They laid it down an made the path They were simple an told the story straight They said who they fought an what they fought for an with what they fought with An who they fought against Now's a complicated day An all I'm sayin' is'at I gotta make my own statement bout this day I gotta write my own feelins down the same way they did it before me in that used t be day An I got nothin but homage an holy thinkin for the ol songs and stories But now there's me an you An I'm doin what I'm doin for me An I'm doin what I'm doin for you I'm writin an singin for me An I'm writin an singin for you I'm writin an singin for me cause I'm human an I'm breathin In a world that was made for me I'm writin an singin for you cause yer a part a me an everythin I stand for I don know why I aint written t yuh maybe cause I never write letters t'myself yeah maybe that's why See yuh when I get there yer friend Bob Dylan

#bob dylan

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llazyneiph · 5 years ago

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its been a busy fuckin week for this mod my ladz!!! i thought i would just give an end of week run down how everything is going, everything added so far and my to do list! also discord!!! and patreon!!! but i’ll talk abt that after this!! a general run down if u dnt know what this wip mod is:

The Royalty Mod gives your sims the opportunity to being the reigning Monarch of your game. They have the chance to become a Beloved Ruler or a Despised Tyrant (and will be treated as such!) They will be completely in control of a custom tax system, will the be benevolent and keep the taxes low or be greedy and fill their coffers with their subject’s simoleans? Be careful though, your actions will affect your citizens and their views of you! Your Monarch will be the most important piece of the puzzle, as they will be able to give titles to family and friends... or even a random street vendor. Having your Monarch bestow titles such as Crown Royals, Royal Partners, Servants, Court Wizards and more, keeps you out of CAS and IN your game! No more stopping and starting your gameplay!

A general overview of everything included so far:

Monarch: - A custom Heir system: Your Monarch can choose anyone bestowed with the title of Crown Royal or Royal Partner to become the next in line to the throne! And if they decide they made a mistake, the Heir can be disowned :((( sad lyfe As soon as the Monarch passes away, the Heir will automatically claim the throne! - If your Monarch dies before they get a chance to name an heir, then any Crown Royal or Royal Partner can vie for the throne. Whoever the people choose (gets to reputation level 6 - very good) first, will become the next Monarch! - Teens and up can become the Monarch, (lookin at u edward the 6th) - Custom tax system! Raise taxes to get more money instantly and in your weekly tax collection, but incur the ire of your subjects! Lower taxes and you will lose money and earn less each week but your subjects will love you! - Your Monarch will draw a crowd wherever they go! Even with no fame points they’ll attract a mass of adoring onlookers. (But no paparazzi for my historical players) - Make world-wide decrees - Listen to your subjects pressing concerns by telling your Trusted Advisor that you will hold a hearing, get that gud gud karma!! - Make anyone a Crown Royal! - Make the land celebrate your own birthday with a new Monarch’s Birthday tradition, with custom goals to be met! - Don’t walk like the rest of these peasants, make sure to enable your royal stride to royally stand out from the crowd. Not enough? Enable your regal glow to really drive home that you’re better than everyone else! - Royal greetings! - Allow your subjects to commence Sunday trading on a lot with the Market lot trait! Townies will come and man the stalls every sunday 9-3 and the royal family can peruse and purchase to their hearts content! -probably more that im forgetting!!!

Heirs, Crown Royals & Royal Partners: - Titles are bestowed by the monarch, crown royals & heirs can be titled at birth and Royal Partners can be titled after marriage! - Both can be named as Heir, and both can vie for the throne if the Monarch dies unexpectedly! - Your Monarch can make anyone a Crown Royal, so if you gameplayed that your Monarch adopted a poor orphan kid, then they can have a shot at the throne too! - All have multiple different social and skill modifiers, so they can make new friends fast and be better at everything than them! - Also all have their own socials - ALSO all can be completely banished from the royal family - u can defo marry into the royal family if u wanted, and make ur peasant family the next gen of royals ;))) - loads more but im so tired

Trusted Advisor: - Your Monarch will choose their trusted advisor! they advice! u on stuff! so choose wisely! - everything about taxes, beginning situations, domestic affair (and planning to add LOADS more) goes thru ur advisor, just like it does in real life and by real life i mean i think i just made that up - way more 2 come bros

- brand spankin new custom animations!!!!!!!!!!

Planned to Add (p much the same as last post): - unlockable interactions based on skills such as charisma - bad monarch reputation and tyrant trait to have the possibility of triggering a revolt??? - Custom situations to trigger weekly events such as royal hearings, banquets ect. - custom situations to trigger a bunch of npc servants (big maybe) - Mass Excitement over royal babies - Mass Mourning over passed over Monarchs - Mass Excitement over new Monarch - Options for crown royals to steal the throne - Sentence to death - Way more custom socials - looking into craftables - Perhaps more of a focus on the working class - more magicky type interactions for court wizards - just like. so much more. but its 1:30am and my brain has stopped working

ok now i wrote this out it rlly doesn’t look like a lot but i have so many gatdamn plans for shit i still gotta add. plus i will probably end up making hair and a few clothes and objects too. also omg guys im totally gonna make one of those fancy fuckin trailers for youtube :))))))))))) also was i on fiverr lookin at voice actors to narrate it...? maybe bitch

anyway i said i would talk abt patreon so here it is!!!

first things first, let me just say that no, i absolutely do not think i am entitled to a single cent of anyone’s money!!! I would/will still put 110% into this mod and my future mods because I absolutely love doing this. At the moment I’m currently working on this mod about 8-10 hours a day, 5 days a week (animations bruh), which is kinda insane. but I want this to be everything everyone’s wanted from EA for years.

I made a Patreon for those who would like to support me. If you do decide to become a Patron I am endlessly thankful for that, not just the monetary value of it but the fact that you believe in me enough to do that.

Every cent of any pledge goes towards my saving fund for my course next year, which for those of who don’t know, I’m currently a first year Game Design student!!! In complete clarity, I’m looking at a $15,000 loan atm, so literally anything helps if u do decide to pledge!

Tiers start at $1 and all tiers have access to a private patrons channel in my discord! u can go read what u get with the tiers over on my page! I’ve offered as much as I can, but since im super not down with exclusives, pls let me know if u think there’s anythin more i can offer u guys!!!

Tier 2 does include a one week early access to my content. I feel like this is the most I’m comfortable offering, and I will always stick to or under EA’s rules when it comes to Patreon.

Tier 2 also offers first picks for Beta Testing, but depending on how many (if any) tier 2 patrons I get, it may work on a rotational system as I still want to include people from tumblr in the beta testing. I don’t want anyone who can’t afford patreon to feel left out, so I would still offer some beta testing spots here and it’ll be first come first served like normal! i don’t want it to feel like i’m gatekeeping my cc. i hope this is okay with you guys! For those who aren’t in a place where they can become a patron, but still want to stay included in everything related to this mod, I now have a Discord Server that anyone can join! speaking of >>>>

we have a discord ladzzzz!!!!!!!!!

If u wanna stay up to date on everything I’m doing regarding the mod, or u have a question or suggestion, or there's something wrong with one of my mods that u need fixed, or tbh if u just wanna hang out with some cool dudeeees n chill n chat n have a jolly time then com join the discord!!!!!!!!

i’m going to be posting updates and screenshots of the mod process much more frequently there (probs like a few times a day tbh lmao) and it’s much easier to get a hold of me there if u have any suggestions.

and tbh we just gonna have a chill time and i want a metric fuckton of memes and gifs. if that doesn’t sway u, we have a whole channel dedicated to only pics of guy fieri. u will be banned if u post anything else there. u were warned.

ok god im so sorry this is literally 10 years long but i just had a lOT to say but like, mods goin good lads. i just want to make something that gives the game more play ability and keeps u in game and out of CAS. its excitin stuff. thanks for listenin.

PATREON | DISCORD SEVER

see all royalty mod updates on my tumblr here

also im v sorry if u join the discord like right after this is posted bc i am most definately fuckin asleeeeeeep

#ts4 mod #ts4 mod wip #royalty mod #mod #discord #ts4 discord #ts4 #sims 4 #the sims 4

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boogiewrites · 5 years ago

Text

A Girl Walks Into A Bar 15

Characters: Declan Harp x Bella Fiore (OFC)

Summary: Modern Declan harp AU. Declan and Bella finally find personal and professional satisfaction together.

Warnings/Tags: Mild Language.Drinking. Date Night. Flirting. Music. Sexual Content.

Click on my screen name then go to Mobile Masterlist in my bio for my other works and chapters. Please leave a like, reblog or comment if you enjoyed this! It makes me want to write more of what you want if you let me know!

The week between their date and the first night of the music shows at the bar goes by quicker than either expected. Bella worked, then went to the bar after to help set up her end of this whole endeavor. The construction didn’t help matters when it came to testing a sound system, but they had the day to work out any kinks, and she suspected there would be a fair share. The rest of her time was dedicated to getting the word out about the show. She’d texted, called and messaged everyone she knew that might be interested. She put out ads online and in hard paper publishing’s, on the radio and hung flyers. She put in the footwork and the thumb work, putting blood and sweat into the success of the idea. Bella helped with building, cleaning, ordering and planning. Anything she could. They spent a lot of time together that week, but it was in a strictly professional capacity. Too tired, stressed and distracted at the end of the night to even think about moving their physical relationship closer. They were both thankful for the mutual understanding between one another. They’d both been exhausted by the time the crews left, sharing a kiss only after they were alone, which she appreciated greatly. They both had too much on their minds to think about much else except the bar and the show.

So the night of finally comes for the tired but excited entrepreneurs. A lovely sunny Saturday was quickly turning into a hot night in the newly renovated bar. Declan might’ve let Bella talk him into a bit much. Between his excitability about the idea and wanting to impress her, he’d made more changes in the past week to the bar than it’d seem in over a decade. He hoped this would be a success before, for both of their sakes but now covering the costs was another reason to worry. He did have to admit standing in thecleam and more modernized wooden dive , it looked good.

A new point of sales, the register now one touch and fast, the touch screen and metal out of place among the rest of the aged wooden bar. New temperature controlled taps finished bringing them into this century, everything cleaned and dusted and polished and up to code. She even talked him into buying snack food to sell. Small menus they’d curated and she designed were sat out on tables, a few new booths, black faux leather and new metal bar stools mixed with the old wooden ones gave it a touch of modernity but it still kept the vintage and dive feel. He’d appreciated her attention to detail during the process, not wanting to change what it was, just make things easier on him in the long run with technology and durability.

Bella trots about in heels and a tight dress, the same dress as she’d worn on her date. But this time in black, her comfort color. A sheer and flowing kimono covered with roses over a black background masked her curves and kept her flirty but professional. There was wiggle room when working in the music industry with what was considered professional and not, and Bella liked riding that line. She had a pen in her hair and a clipboard in her arms as she directed bands and their crews, turning what used to be the kitchen into a temporary green room.

Besides the physical bar, Declan hadn't had to worry about much else. He’d loved watching Bella work. Seeing her with her no nonsense expression, scolding men who weren’t performing up to her standards was really doing it for him, he admitted. He mused and polished the bar top, a nervous habit, and watched her with fondness in his hazel eyes. He felt his nerves for the night pass, replaced with a school boy like fascination as she moved around his space as if it was hers.

The stage was set, the boys tended to in the green room, some friends of hers from way back in her days of performing, and Declan’s part of the work was caught up.

“Bella! Can you come here when you get a second?” He calls out from the back room with the same casual tone he’d yelled it at her so many times over the past few days.

“Yeah just a sec!” She answers absentmindedly, checking off tasks on her thorough list. She sashays into the back to find him waiting, a smile on his face without anything in hand for her to address.

“C’mere.” He calls softly, taking her hand and pulling her behind the door to the stairs to his apartment. It was a brief moment of sanctuary he’d been craving. The hustle of the bar quieted by the door, a moment without prying eyes to decompress. “I didn’t think I’d get another chance to talk to you alone.” He took the clipboard from her hands and placed it on a stair gingerly.

“Is something wrong?” She asks with curious eyes.

“I hadn’t gotten a chance to thank you.” He answers in a warm, deep tone, leaning in to wrap his arms around her. She understood his intention with the way his mouth turned up in the corner. A soft smile she’d only seen on him with thru we’re alone. She let her guard down, having to slip out of boss mode to return the affection.

“Don’t thank me yet.” She shook her head as he leaned in for a soft kiss. “Still have to see who shows up.” She murmurs against his lips.

He could tell she was nervous, and granted, so was he. But he had total faith in her abilities after watching her all week. “Even if just a handful do I still need to thank you. For everything this week. You didn’t have to step up like you did.” A calm and reassuring tone matches his expression as she finds herself much more pliable and soft than had been since the last time she was in his arms.

“Of course I did.” She insists with a nod of her chin his way. “Not gonna let you look bad now am I?” She grins and kisses his cheek.

“I look bad standing next to you... lookin like this.” A brief but strong enough squeeze of her hips was enough to get his point across.

“Never.” The shake of her head sold her dramatic enthusiasm. ”You do look good though.” She smirks and looks him over, fingers trailing over the strong arms he was showing off with his deep side cut old Sabbath shirt and jeans that fit him suspiciously well.

“So do you.” A brief muzzle of nose to nose. “Very… sexy Stevie Nicks.” He praised.

“Just so happens to be exactly what I was going for.” She smiled proudly.

“I know there’s a lot going on tonight, but I had one more thing to ask you.” His eyes turn a bit soft and he fussed with a wild curl of her hair.

“Shoot.” She invites.

“Even if it’s super late… and we’re both too fucking tired to do anything… I’d like you to stay with me tonight.” He suggests with a sweet whisper, his posture almost sheepish.

“Like, sleep here you mean?” She clarifies.

“Yeah.” He pauses with a brief moment of questioned judgement. “Is that-?”

“No! That’s… fine that’s… that’s good. I’d like that.” She reassured him so casually he exhaled loudly in relief. “It’ll give me something else to look forward to tonight.” She beamed a killer smile, a genuinely affectionate one that makes him hum happily.

“Before I let you go… do you wanna make out?” He asked childishly, making her chuckle and wrap her arms around his neck. “I haven’t got to really kiss you all week.” He adds with more sentimental inflection.

“And I wanna thank you for not doing this or anything else in front of anyone else.” Her voice is deeper, her face relaxed. “Not that I’m like, ashamed or something I just prefer keeping work and play separate you know.”

“I assumed.”

“And I’ve went and mixed the two as much as possible haven’t I?” She grins and grazes his nose to hers.

“Fraid So.” He hums back with content, a small kiss to start and it grows hungry as it always does for them. A small moment to melt into each other, hands in hair and over needy bodies to hold off the hunger for another evening.

“Missed that.” She whispers when they part, his forehead to hers.

“So did I.” He gives her a less romantic, more playful smooch to make her smile.

“Hopefully we won’t be too exhausted to continue that after we close up tonight.” Her words were suggestive but her tone wasn’t convinced.

“One can hope.” He nods with high brows.

“Either way. We’ve got all day tomorrow together.” She happily adds with a kiss to his cheek.

“Mmm. That we do.” A few quick kisses to her cheek, jaw and neck make her give up that giggle for him. He gave her a squeeze before they parted, one last time before they were professional again. “Let’s go get em baby.” He mutters with a cheerful face before they break the seal on another little love bubble they’d created.

———

Declan, Mike and Bella Knick back celebratory shots for making it this far and to ease the pre show jitters. They all stand and look at each other, anxious glances and blinking eyes before facing the truth.

“Let’s fuckin do this.” Declan booms loudly and slaps his hands on the bar top sudden to cut the tension.

Bella smiles at his enthusiasm. “Don’t scar em off before they even get in the door ya lion. Roarin and carryin on.” She teases as she walks to the half stained glass and barred door. “Here we go.” She whispers to herself to pass from her true self to hostess before opening the door.

The bar wasn’t small by any measure, but the amount of people that showed up made it seem like it might’ve been. The speakers covering the music before the bands started cutting any awkward silence, the drinks and conversation going all mingle to create a good atmosphere. Bella stepped in to help take out orders when she could, focusing on Directing people and handling hospitality while Mike and Declan were swamped at the bar.

Among the bumping of shoulders, the dull roar of music and voices, she realizes She’d missed this. The rumble and buzz of a crowded club felt Nostalgic and comforting. The vibration of the music through her body while she moved about made her feel younger, more alive. She felt a moment of pride for her work and gratitude for having found the gem of a bar. She even felt Fond for the bad day that sent her there, and the drunken night that lead to all this.

It doesn’t take long for the tension to build between Declan and Bella. It was effortless on their part. As She was hovering and helping them, he kept getting sight of her and meeting eyes. They’d pass chest to chest, back to back behind the bar and she’d give him a wink no one could see while her tits dragged across his torso. He’d shoot her a look, and she knew exactly what it meant. An almost threat she felt like antagonizing. Both moving about the space they would pass each other, he’d give her a deep “hey baby.” In her ear when he could.

The crowd gets rowdy, as crowds do, and she ends up getting pushed around a bit and into him a few times. He was keeping work in mind but also, maybe staying near her unconsciously. He’s thankful when she gets shoved right into him so he can comfort her. “Hey, careful baby girl.” He warns with warm and sure hands to her body that make it react. Another low purr in her ear adds weight in her chest as she tried to focus on work and not the huge, sexy bartender that was trying to get in her panties. Not that he had to try very hard. His swoon inducing genuine smiles and his flexing bare arms were cause enough to distract her. She kept it together as she always did, but it certainly did add a bit of spice to the evening she was more than excited about.

“Boys are taking a break after this song Bella!” An old friend who was helping with sound and stage yells at her and she felt the butterflies arrive. They break her steamy day dreams to give her another sort of tingle and rush. She hadn’t performed for a crowd in years. She’d always loved it, but there was more money in being the person running the machines for people who were on stage. It hadn’t stopped her from fantasizing about doing it from time to time. It was a high she had yet to find a way to replicate.

The boys announce their break and give her an introduction. An old friend and very talented woman who was nice enough to do a set and let them take a breather she was generously called. The crowd is fairly disinterested, as was standard, but there were certainly a lot of them.

“I’ll be filling in the down time for you guys, with my friends tonight. We’re gonna start slow, let you get your drinks and snacks, go take a piss, all that.” her on stage presence demanding and confident she fell right back into it with a calm Demeanor. “Be sure to try to the Ale special. It’s my favorite and The Trading Post is one of the few places you can get it in the city. So go hit up that hot bartender and he’ll give ya what ya want.” She laughs with a charm that all women react to. A few ‘woos’ and Declan grins broadly, waving his distractingly thick arms.

“Nice and easy, take a break yourselves, gonna start with some Kacey Musgraves.” She says with a bow, starting with an acoustic guitar first. Slow Burn fades into Golden Hour and Declan is bewitched. He wished he could just sit and watch her, her voice was sweet but raspy, it melted him like butter with the sentimental words she sang. Every time she’d sing she’d surprise him somehow, and every time he was smitten.

“We’re going with the legend, the legs, Miss Tina Turner now. Kick it up a notch, wake the blood back up. Proud Mary.” She speaks the intro, “...gonna start this song out easy. Then we’re gonna end it rough.” And she delivers. A song most everyone knew, enjoying the soulfulness of her voice and then being taken into a double time, loud performance with her moving and dancing and singing, swinging her head and getting everyone’s attention again.

“And to wake you the fuck up the rest of the way!” She calls out, hair a mess and a sheen of sweat on her she roars right into Ace of Spades and the crowd eats it up. Her growling out and her rasp giving her the means to deliver the fast and hard song. She plays her guitar like a dream and Declan stops and stares. He’s never seen her do THAT.

“Holy shit.” He mouths with a slack jaw.

“Ya girls fuckin got it dunnit she lad?” Mike laughs with a slap to his back.

“Yes she fuckin does. God damn.” He answers in awe. “I’m gonna take a break, gotta ask her where the fuck this came from.” He mutters with open arms as her head hangs with her hair wild and waving, fingers picking and playing in a flash.

It ends with a hard note and the crowd now fully invested again gives her applause she happily takes. She hears a familiar loud voice by the front by the stairs.

“FUCK YEAH BELLAAAAA!” Declan’s large lungs scream out and she whips her hair to one side and gives him a disarming smile. She didn’t mind the support at all. She steps off stage after the other band returns and Declan is there to squeeze her so hard her feet leave the ground. “I’m buying you a drink! That was amazing! I didn’t know you could do that!”

“I haven’t in a very long time.” She responds with a beaming smile her self fulfillment clear in her eyes.

“Let’s get you sat down.” He offers over the noise of the crowd and uses his big frame to carve a way to a small booth you couldn’t see the stage from. To her surprise he sits first and pulls her in on his lap and she happily accepts. With the crowd now absorbed back into the showroom and their conversations of praise to her from strangers cease and they’re left with one another again. He motions to Mike to bring over drinks. “You were so fuckin good baby. Seriously. I mean it. Fuckin amazing.”

“Shots and an ale.” Mike says proudly. “Ya fuckin killed it out there, lass. Good on ya.” He gives her a happy nod she thanks him for.

Declan gives her a toast to the glass shot glasses that clink as they nod and throw them back. With an exaggerated exhale he wraps his arms around her, one on her hip to keep her in place, pulling her close so she puts an arm around him, face still content from the performance. The other hand rests on her bare thigh, his lap big enough for her to crawl into and bend her legs over his own. “You were so fuckin good up there baby.” he speaks in a deeper, slow tone that makes a more suggestive smile flare across her lips.

“Thank you.” she gives him a brief up and down glance. “You’d get a good uptick in sales from my little shout out?” she gives him a cheeky grin, her hand moving to push back a strand of hair that’d fallen from where he’d tied it back.

“Yes you sneaky little thing.” he gives her a happy low rumbling laugh, a tiny little pat to her ass that makes her nose wrinkle, giving in to her laugh. “What about not mixing business and personal? Huh?” he teases with his nose coming close to grazing hers.

“Eh. Me playing isn’t business.” she dismisses with a shrug. “That’s just fun. Plus it got everyone's attention didn’t it?”

“I think that was you that had all that. They were loving it.” he adds supportively, both speaking soft and low and only to each other. “I know I did. You sing like a...horny angel.” he chuckles.

The explanation makes her shoulders shake in a laugh and gently touch the side of his face. “I like that description.” she nods. “Except for that angel part…” she shrugs. “Pretty spot on actually.” she gives him a sly smile that turns into a flirtatious one that covers her whole face.

“I disagree but I am VERY intrigued.” he wiggles his eyebrows and he hears that little giggle from her that makes his chest flutter.

“I don’t think you’ll be calling me an angel after tonight.” she speaks quietly and peeks her tongue out from between her lips.

“Mmm that so?” his voice swings low, she can feel a distinct rumble in his body under hers.

“Mmm Hmm.” she nods, her hand now tracing the outlines of his sleeves as she looks him over with a hunger in her eyes. “Keep these shots in me and it’ll be especially true.” she tilts her head in support of her statement and smirks. “Or hell…” she shrugs, “Who am I kidding? With you? Stone cold sober I’d be inclined to behave sinfully.” her voice is just loud enough for him to hear when he leans close, getting a wiff of her sweet perfume and the tickle of her hair against his skin.

“I”m hearing nothing I don’t fully support.” he coos at her, eyes gazing over her face and lingering at her lips set in a seductive pose.

She lets out a sigh that surprises him, her hand moving to his chest, running back up to his shoulder and neck and back again as she bites her lip. “Maybe it’s the performance high. Or that shot on an empty stomach but…” her eyes return to meet his that are deep and dark and only make the fire in the pit of her stomach burn more intensely. “I weirdly don’t feel at all shy to admit that watching you tonight has done nothing but distract and make me realize just how fucking sexy you are.” her lip snarls ever so slightly with her delivery, her fingertips light on his bare skin as he feels a tensing between his legs. “Or how every night since our date I’ve thought about how it felt with you on me on that couch.” Her voice is so soft and demanding of him.

“Everytime I look at you I think about that couch.” He admits with a quirked brow. “Everytime you get close I have to touch you.” They share lingering glances between them, his mouth slack and taking in her soft expression for him, her biting her lip and wanting to sink her teeth into him. The sexual chemistry between them was undeniable and they didn’t have to wait long. “God I wanna kiss you so bad right now.” He whispers and she reaches up to touch his cheek.

“Then do it.” She leans in and whispers.

“But there’s people, I didn’t know if-“

“I don’t care.” She shakes her head and gives him an approving smile. “I want you too.” A breathy confession from her as her thumb rubs over his cheek bone. “Fuck what they think.” She nods her head back towards the crowd. “They don’t matter.” Her lips ghost over his as she gives him permission and an alternative sweetness he was growing to really love.

It doesn’t take him a second longer before leaning in to take her mouth against his. His arms instinctually move around her tighter, a hand on her under her shawl feeling the soft jersey stretch of the fabric of her dress. The other on her bare thigh, the heat between them searing.

She doesn’t pull away, only deepens it as his eyes roll behind their lids for the public display of affection from her. Deep rounds with teasing tongues and tense hands that roam ever so slightly they give in and forget anyone else is around them. It does eventually end but not without their foreheads together, two aroused expressions shared that told them that no matter what they would be taking this further tonight.

—————-

Counting the money in the till, still sober enough to do so after celebratory shots on the raving success the night had been. Bella, who’s seen him shut down the bar so many times does it for him. Locking up, Turning off signs, sweeping and wiping down as he counts and figures out the new POS system he’d installed. He uses his personal laptop for now to do his spreadsheets, saying they’ll get a company one soon. It looks as if they would be able to afford it with how things went. Between easily remembered amounts, he watches her. In just her dress now, shawl forgotten, laid over her purse in the back on a counter he sees her body stretch and jiggle and finds himself quickly forgetting about the money in his hands and the numbers on the screen.

Bella only had a quick conclusion on her mind. Getting everything done as fast as she could to get back to being close with Declan. An excitement in her muscles, a tension in them that was exhilarating. Finishing, she moves to the bar top, lifting herself up and plopping down on it as he finished his part of the rituals.

“Does Mike usually stay to help you with all this?” she asks, feet swinging off the edge of the bar.

“Yeah. But I told him to get lost.” he grins, laying another stack onto the counter.

“Good.” she gives the same smile back, even though they don’t look at each other. “Looks like you did pretty well tonight.” she remarks, a supportive nod of her head his way.

“WE did VERY well actually.” he lets out a soft chuckle. He puts everything with the receipts and notes into the money bag, concluding the count.

“It’s not easy moving around behind this bar.” she keeps her eyes to the ground, letting him concentrate, not knowing if he was finished or not. “Especially with more than one person. Since you’re so ...big and all.” a grin with her clear intentions spreads across her face.

He stands with his head tilted slightly, looking her up and down, an expression that was dark, giving way to a subtle smile as he moved forward. His hand drug across the bar surface, not lifting when he meets the skin of her thigh. A rather cocky smirk on his face as he moves chest to chest, both hands now on her legs, a slow rub up to her hips and back, easily slipping into a more sensual mindset.

“Am I?” he gives a sarcastic remark that makes her beam up at him, a closed mouth smile and eyes that now had the same intention as his.

“Mmm Hmm.” she nods slowly, hands moving up his arms, feeling the flex of them under her fingers. “Must be really… hard. Doing this by yourself.” her voice has dropped a few octaves, same as his. Hands now to her backside, hers in his hair as he yanked her closer, now held on the edge of the counter.

“So fuckin’ hard.” he leans in and almost groans as he watches her chest rise, any innocent intention in her eyes now gone.

“Are you?” the same cheeky response as he had earlier.

He only nods, hand moving to her face before closing the space between them, his body wasn’t going to let him waste any more time.

The kisses grow at a feverish pace, deep and indulgent. Desperate to be as close as possible, her hips even out with his, feeling the friction they craved. Her legs swinging back before wrapping around his waist, her heels hits the control panel for the speakers and music begins to play. He makes no acknowledgement, kisses traveling to her jaw and neck as she lets out a small chuckle.

“Oops.” she shrugs and he grunts in response, pulling her closer.

He shushes her, taking her mind back to where he wants it with a biting kiss, and she eagerly responds with her own noises.

“We’ve even got mood music now babe, you gonna make me wait much longer?” she whispers in his ear before taking his lobe into her mouth.

“Ungf. No.” he responded in an almost animalistic way, hands sliding under her quickly, adjusting his grip.

“You gonna fuck me on this counter or are we gonna make it upstairs?” her voice a breathy exhale against his neck as she placed little sucking kisses, feeling him tense beneath her.

“Upstairs.” he grunts again, picking her up, her letting out a tiny noise of surprise at being lifted and carried.

“Mmm. What a gentleman.” she grins between kisses, a hefty bounce as he carries her, his boot opening the door as he stomps up the stairs. She was extremely impressed with him physically already and he wasn’t even naked. The sounds of Trampled Under Foot certainly didn’t hurt the rush of feelings they were both experiencing. Her suggestive words turn quickly to eager sounds between rounds of kisses as he kicks open his door, something that made her body tense with pleasure at the witnessing of it. With another boot to the metal door, slamming it shut, anything besides the raw sexual need they both felt for each other was forgotten behind it.

They had built the emotional chemistry, then came the sexual, and that they had in spades, and now they had the time. His apartment was all exposed brick walls, the only light outside the bedroom coming from the street lamp through a window in the kitchen. Once they passed the barrier to his bedroom, she found only a single neon sign on that cast the room in a mood setting red glow. The decor was minimum, his sheets black and soft, bed unmade and clothes strewn over an old worn chair in the corner by a closet with no door. It screamed bachelor pad but she rather liked the casual, rustic, industrial aesthetic.

She takes in the red glow, the faint buzz of a vintage restored sign above his bed as he wastes no time and lays her back, feet just dangling over the sides. He moves fast and yanks his shirt over his head, eyes hungry as they watched her sit up on her knees and peel off her dress. A low rumble from his rapidly rising and falling chest as he gets his first good look at her. Almost bare except for the black bra and panties, the low light still held plenty to see as her curves were backlit in a silhouette that made him reach down and readjust himself in his tight jeans.

She reaches out and gets her hands flat on his torso to run down his belt, practically drooling at the sight and feel of him. Before she can go further he takes her by surprise and knocks her onto her back, feet kicking up in the air as he returns to the greedy kisses they’d paused before. He had to feel her before she touched him, he hoped he would last and not disappoint after the painful build up to their first time together. He gets to feel her warm olive skin give under his harsh grip she only responds in favor to. But soon she gets impatient for him.

“Mmph Declan.” A panted out and needful voice makes his eyes roll behind their shut lids.

An “Mmph?” Of his own in response, giving her room to speak as his lips move to her chest.

Her hands return to his belt and begin the metallic noises that signal something good to come. “I just want you tonight. There’ll be time for slow later...” she whines and shifts her hips under him, “no waiting just… fuck me.” Every part of his body responds to her breathy and surprisingly polite request of him.

“You sure?” A deep groan that makes her muscles deeply twitch inside her. Fingers on her bra clasp as she nods quickly and gets her hands into his undone jeans. “Whatever you want Bella.” He coos as he raises and she finishes the job, quickly but not bashfully tossing her bra across the room, watching him toe off his boots and lose the jeans.

With a bitten lip and hungry eyes she shimmy’s out of her panties, also wildly abandoned to the depths of his room. He palms himself over his tight boxer briefs and hums at the sight laid out beneath him. Every part of her was soft and silky and thick. Two muscular and hefty thighs framed a soft and chubby pair of pussy lips that her fingers disappeared into as she looked up at him.

“God baby you’re… fuck… look at you.” After the bra was tossed, and although it was a very sexy one, he was happy to admit, it’s disappearance revealed two natural and weighted breasts, even and bouncing, silver bars catching the light he thought the rest of her couldn’t also be as perfect. He was never more happy to be wrong. “You sure you don’t want any foreplay? Because FUCK I just want to bury my face between those thighs.” He rasps, hand now wrapped around himself through his boxers.

She gives him a seductive smile that makes his balls tighten, fingers in small circles, mostly hidden but he could see the light on the slick of her. “I’m sure.” She purrs, lifting the two previously hidden fingers and showing him the sticky remnants left. “I’m so fucking wet for you babe...” her long lashes bat up at him and he wants to eat her alive. He couldn’t have been happier she wasn’t being reserved or even remotely shy. She then put the fingers on display into her mouth, sucking them dry and he involuntarily releases a growl through a tight jaw. “Just fuck me already.” A playful nod of her head before sitting up and batting his hands away to finally have her eyes on him. And she was not let down.

“Fuck me…” She whispers, revealing a cock she would have written a song about. She takes both her hands to hold the heavy, uncut girth of him. Everything framed by dark thick hair. He was well over 6 inches, she could tell that much, possibly nearing 7, but what was even more impressive was how thick he was. She wanted to wrap her mouth around him and taste him, but she’d already proclaimed there’d be time later. She gets distracted, and who could blame her with a cock like his in her hands. Running over it before going to his balls which makes him emit a deep sigh.

Her silence and awe on her face clear he feels his ego rise. He’s never been insecure, for good reason, but seeing the lust burn clearly on her face filled him with a deep satisfaction. Taking himself into his hand and slowly pumping, a low and entirely confident voice purrs down at her. “Like what you see baby?” A smirk that made her want to smother him between her thighs rests on his face as she looks up at him.

“You know I fucking do.” She challenges him with snarled lips before reaching to yank his boxers off the rest of the way, scooting up the bed as he slips them off, seeing the animalistic prowl towards her before taking control of her mouth with his. His hands find her center quickly, and even though she’d proclaimed no foreplay, she didn’t fight him as his fingers explored how she was put together. Mapping out her clit and making her toes twitch before he sinks one, then two fingers into her. With a steady push behind them and an easy curve he gets to watch the first waves of pleasure pass over her face. She didn’t melt and sigh like he was used to seeing women do. Her eyes do roll back, but her lips snarl, teeth clenched as she moans for him with a tilted back head, legs splayed wide and welcoming. She was soaked, there was no denying the fact but he continues a few strokes before a third finger joins to test how she’d be able to take him. With a tiny whine, eyes returning to his with a more submissive cast to them he eats up her small moans as she adjusts. “Shit.” She swears out of nowhere fully grabbing his attention as he quickly removes his fingers and his eyes already full of apologies for her. “No, I’m fine. I forget the condoms in my bag downstairs.” She rubs her face with one hand, voice exasperated.

“Oh.” He lets out a snort of relief. “I’ve got us covered, don’t worry.” He shakes his head and she gets to see the great expanse of him reach into the bedside table and stretch above her. As it always went, he rolls it down over his length and she once again gets to marvel at him and how he can fill the tight cover.

It had been years since Bella had slept with anyone. She had plenty of toys and was no stranger to them, which helped in this particular situation, but her toys were not him. Even though not monstrous, and thank goodness for that, he would be the biggest guy she’d ever been with, and she knew there would be pain before pleasure. Luckily for both of them, she was a fan of both sensations.

“Ready baby?” He asks with a gentler turn to his low roar.

“Fuck yes.” She gives him a lusty glance that makes his heart react in a funny way, pressing forward with the winning attention his cock was demanding where it stood hard and proud and eager.

Settled between her legs, he raises to his knees to guide himself. An up and down over her thick pussy lips, glistening with wet for him she lays on her elbows to watch him, hand lowering to be helpful to spread her lips apart for him, his heavy head rubbing against her hard clit and revealing her soft pink center. As soon as he presses into her, he feels the resistance and knows he’s mentally going to have to prepare to go slow. He leans over her, still pressing as he can sense the discomfort she’s feeling. “If it hurts you-“

“Keep going.” She shushes him, fingers to his lips before pulling him flush against her, head notching in as her knees spread and fall back for him. With slow, deep kisses of intertwining tongue and moans it helps distract them for a moment, a slow push and in and out of himself.

With a few inches of progress she’s starting to relax, and is so appreciative of his patience. But she lacks that trait. “Fuck you’re so tight babe.” An almost defeated hoarse whisper escapes him as he hangs his head into her neck.

“And you’re so big.” She replies with a still happy sounding exhale. “Keeping goin, I want it all.” Her fingers dig into his back, no nails yet as she feels the pain and let it melt into pleasure as he sucks away at her breast. He fills her up so completely she feels as if he’s in her stomach when their hips finally meet again. A louder moan now, an exhale let out they didn’t know they were holding in. A slow drag out causes her to shudder beneath him. A moan that starts low and ends with a needy pitch makes his eyes roll back.

He’d imagined these sounds, and now he had them. more importantly he had her, skin to skin and nothing else between them, he had her all to himself and he felt a deep need to keep her that way. “You okay?” He asks against the bend of her neck, feeling her nod enthusiastically.

“Yes, fuck, more.” She whines, turning her head before crashing her mouth into his, hands in his hair as she gives over completely. With a masculine moan he pushes back in and causes her to interrupt the passionate kisses with an arch of her back and an open mouth. ”Oh my...fuck.” A guttural prayer from her lifted chin as her eyes fully roll back and he gets to soak up every bit of her animated reactions. He pauses again and she whines for more, her hand sliding between them to rub her clit. “Don’t stop anymore, just fuck me Declan, you feel so fucking good.” Her voice is hoarse and direct, her kisses much the same they follow, his hands now on her thigh to hold her steady, feeling them tense and shake with every pump. She was starving for his kisses, teeth tugging on his lips and growling in retort when he’d part from her. She was writhing under him, back arching and hips pushing back on him, there was nothing subtle about her like this. He felt bare with her in more than the physical way.

He met every buck of her hips and kiss of her mouth as she sought him out with growing desperation. She’d never felt so full before, physically or emotionally from sex. He was meeting her passion with his own matched, both arching and bowing against the other as the growing tension between them is fueled by their friction. With his hand gripped into the covers by her head, she raises her free hand to push the hair back from his face. She knew she wasn’t ending the night dissatisfied and found her mind wanting to focus on things besides her own pleasure for once. With guys before they were mostly there for themselves, but not Declan. He’d been there for her in every capacity thus far and she knew in bed he’d be no different. She uncovers his ruggedly handsome face. His pinked lips swollen from her assault on them, that heavy brow over shut eyes as he panted and kept the pace up with her needs and requests for more, faster, please harder. With every exhale they moaned and heaved together.

She feels a familiar build in her center. “Holy shit. I’m close already.” An almost laugh escapes her, a fully abandoned smile on her face as he opens his eyes to take in the view beneath him as he finds she’d been doing to him. She was caught off guard by him, hadn’t built up her expectations on purpose so she wouldn’t be disappointed but he was just...awesome. In the true sense of the word. Awe inspiring. With thickness she’d never had before, the pain she’d feel tomorrow was a world away, there was only right now for both of them, nothing else mattered.

Soon she couldn’t focus on anything but the growing tension between her thighs. He’s diving into his hips as she bucked up to meet him, elbow firmly planted into the mattress for traction as her fingers work quickly around her hard clit. “Yes. Just like that.” She praises through a bitten lip as she pulls her legs apart and back as far as she can, his hand moving from his hold on her thigh as he holds one of her knees back towards the bed and feels himself bottoming out inside her. He was determined to last through this, feeling her wave after wave tightening around him. “Fuck…” A groan that ends in a squeak, her mouth open and eyes not met with his. “Just like that.” She nods and her eyes stare fearlessly Into his. ”Yeah. Make me come baby. Make me fuckin’ come.” a challenging chin up at him and he feels a raw need to give her what she wants. A growl from his chest builds and she tightens at the sound alone. “That’s it Declan.” Another wicked smile and nod, her nose wrinkled in challenge to his low brow and tight jaw, hitting into her deep, causing her eyes to flutter back between rounds of her talking. “Make me come all over that big cock.” She moans, losing her composure.

“Fuck Bells.” An almost overwhelmed moan from him washes over her. He hadn’t expected her to have a mouth on her in bed but he’s wondering why he hadn’t now.

Her words give way to moans, then a more helpless voice that makes him want to end it all far too quickly begging him, “Fuck. Yes. Fuck me. Fuck me, baby.” She chants as it takes over her entire body bit by bit. Rapidly spreading from her center everything spreads like fire into her thighs and up her spine. Her stomach tenses and she draws up, shaking helplessly as it comes wave after delicious wave. Her thighs clamp around him and he’s aware of how strong she really is.

She looked him boldly in the eyes as long as she could, giving over and head tilted up and pushed into the bed as her back arched and her hips and thighs trembled. With big gulping breaths, a forced moan each exhale that followed the waves, watched her underneath him with a ravenous fascination. He was used to women going limp, to showy porn-like displays to acting meek after orgasms, but that was not his Bella.

She comes back with dark eyes and a roar. Feeling full of blood and energy pulls her mouth to his by the back of his neck before demanding, ”On your back. I wanna fucking ride you.”

He was left with no room but to obey, and he really couldn’t have been happier to switch roles for once. Women before her were submissive and delicate, but Bella was quickly making him forget any existed before her.

With a quick exchange, she leans in and kisses him with teeth and tongue, a noisy and messy exchange. She wastes no time, taking him in with a satisfying exhale and hum, a smile that told him she had only good things planned for him.

He lays in awe for a moment, feeling the weight of her grind and hit against him, an involuntary moan coming from him and sounding almost weak.

“Touch me Declan.” She commands softly, grinding down on him, putting one of his hands to her ass and the other on her chest. “I want those big hands all over me.” She shakes her head and snarls her lip, taking his fingers that rest on her chest into his mouth for a captivating moment. She grabs ahold of his headboard, hands gripped tight for traction as she really goes to work on him. That loud and satisfying skin to skin slap as she threw her wide hips and hefty ass against him. He felt himself giving over quickly. She was so tight around him, now totally soaked to her inner thighs and hot in every sense of the word. He got to watch her curvaceous body move fluidly over his, hands tracing the outline of bouncing tits to her waist to tease her hips before she demanded. “Fucking grab me.” And he sinks his calloused fingers into the soft meaty hips that had been teasing him for months. “That’s it.” She gives a wicked smile and a satisfied hum. “I wanted to make you cum but you might make me again, big boy.” She confesses, flipping her wild hair to one aide, revealing her face giving him a wink he wasn’t prepared for.

“God…” He exhales. “You keep this up and I’m gonna cum soon.” He admits with downturned brows, licking his lips.

“Good.” Is her bossy response. She moves her fingers back to her clit, that still intoxicating skin to skin slap as he grabs her ass and directs her pace as she rides him. “Fuck you feel so good. So fuckin...big.” She moans, feeling it build again as she gives direct attention to the still throbbing bud. “Fuck I’ve wanted to come on this cock for so long.” She shakes her head, eyes shut as she speaks in rolling moans and whines. She opens her eyes and leans closer, more attention grabbing eye contact he gazed up into as he felt himself getting so close. “I wanna feel you.” Words close to a whisper. “Want to feel you throbbing inside this tight little pussy.” She sneers and issues in an almost polite tone for the words being said. “Fuck me Declan.” An almost whine from her swollen lips. “I want it so fucking bad.” She groans and clenches her teeth.

He makes a decision, and luckily it’s the right one. He pulls her by the back of the neck to his lips and growls. “Fucking come for me.” Into her mouth, forehead to forehead as he plants his feet into the bed and pounds into her. Her hand trapped between them and the other pushing on the headboard she bounces on him as she pounds upward and he sends her over the edge again. “Fuuuuck.” He growls. “Fucking feel you baby girl.” He moans and sees her mouth hanging open, small gasps as she shakes above him.

“Shiiiit.” She moans as both hands clamp onto her hips and he gives her exactly what she asked for. “Yes. Yes.” She nods and takes him like she was made for him.

“You fucking want it baby girl?”

A helpless and desperate “uh huh.” From her in response.

“Fucking take it.” He growls before her hands smack to either side of his face as she kisses him hard. Through moans and roars she keeps her lips on him. She wanted to eat him whole, to sink her teeth into him and taste blood. Just wanted everything from him in the moment of hearing him curse and say her name, watching his face go from lion to lamb.

They come down together, both trembling and bodies heaving as they tried to remember how to function normally again. He moves his hands gently, up her back and her hair to hold her and kiss her properly. Deep and slow, the sounds of wet lips together becomes louder than the moans eventually. The kisses are soft and dare she admit it, sweet. The love hormones were reaping havoc on their brains as they stayed suspended, him inside her and nose to nose. She tries and loses her nerve to speak her mind, resting herself on top of him, head to his chest. He lovingly rests a hand on her head and another on her back, holding her there.

“I don’t know if I can’t move.” She lets out a soft laugh against him.

“Lemme…” He grunts, moving them both to their side, her legs still wrapped around him and now on her chest partially, her almost on her back.

“Much better.” She sighs out, feeling her hips shift back into place.

“It was.” He lets put a deep hum and she finally meets his eyes after the deed.

She nods and finds herself brave enough to give him a smile that says more than her words would let her. “Yeah. It was.” He leans in for more of her lips. He couldn’t help himself. She looked so soft after being so hard for so long. With hands in each other’s wild hair, the kisses take longer and longer pauses until they both feel sleep coming for them.

She apologizes and says she gotta get up to pee. Always pee after sex. Those are the rules. So they finally part, even though neither want to. He throws away the very full condom after watching her waddle to the bathroom with a grin.

“Don’t like it when you leave but love to watch you go.” A deep sleepy voice teases as she crawls back into bed, him on his back and holding up the covers.

“Cornball.” She snorts, But cuddles right up to him anyway. “We gonna sleep in?”

“We earned it.” He says leaning down to kiss her forehead as he speaks against it.

“I’d say we most certainly have.” She agrees and lets out a yawn, followed by a fully satisfied sigh.

“Night baby Belle.” He gives another kiss after wrapping his arms around her.

“Night Declan.” She mumbled against his chest. “You were great tonight.” She adds sleepily, lips smacking as she snuggles into him again.

“So you were you baby girl.” With it all said and done, they both felt tired down into their bones, but how could they not feel fully relaxed after the week they had, and add the night and the sex on top of it. It was the deepest and best sleep either had had in as long as they could remember. Bella felt safe and satisfied. Declan felt whole and accomplished. And both felt far more than they bargained for for the other.

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