#good here being very relative
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Solarpunk??? Bad dog?? Also red??? Ik it’s greedy to ask all three but???
~rolling-restart
Hiii 😁 no not at all !
I answered solarpunk here.
Rest under the cut because very long
Red was a working title for the first sebchal fic i ever thought of. I took out a lot of the worldbuilding ideas for other fics so I will probably not write this one but who knows. This AU takes place in a dark fantasy post apocalyptic dystopia, in a city surrounded by malignant darkness full of monsters that is constantly trying to devour the city. The city is defended by ten magic houses that are each devoted to a minor god/spirit ; each house is headed by two Riders that work together to harness the power of their god so that they can go out and battle and push back the darkness, sometimes gaining new ground and sometimes losing it. It is said that one day one of the Riders will achieve Apotheosis by melding with their god entirely and manage to vanquish the darkness forever, freeing humanity from its curse. We follow Charles as he becomes Seb's partner and learns to be a Rider - worshipped like a demi-god by the population, but also the heavy cost of failure and learning that this power comes with heavy chains. This is a dark world full of manipulation and intrigue so their relationship starts out as very toxic but somehow they end up finding real tenderness and decency in each other. And then of course stuff goes down ! Ahhh this was fun honestly. I wish i could write three times as fast I have so !!!!! Many ! Ideas !!!
Bad dog was my attempt to write a straight up horror dead dove fic, but after putting the plot down and a few scenes I was like. This would be really interesting psychologically but i don't know if I have the stomach for it. In this one Seb works for the mob and his boss asks him to figure out who has been brutally murdering a lot of his collaborators and assets. Turns out that it's Charles, the ward of the old boss himself - known for being a dissolute party animal and a general mess, but this is probably a facade. Seb figures he's a genius with something seriously wrong with him but feels somewhat responsible because after all, they created this monster. Instead of killing him as he is ordered to, he convinces his bosses he can "rehabilitate" him and channel these violent tendencies so they can use them.
So he takes Charles to an isolated compound so he can break him down and mold him into something better but instead it's Charles that ends up getting in his head and convinces Seb to set him free so they can take down the rest of the mob together, especially as Charles shares his reasons for wanting to do so.
I think the cat and mouse psychological aspect would be fascinating ; I do love the "villains in love" thing where they're both horrible people but they get each other and descend into this shared madness, the Hannibal/Killing Eve vibes etc but honestly this would have gone into extremely dark territory and idk that i want to stay in that headspace for too long.
#in summary when looking at my wip ideas it's like hmmm maybe i should lighten up a little#writing sebchal for me is just a thousand variations on the theme - despite the horrors they find sth good in each other#good here being very relative#maybe i should write a thing where the horrors is trying to shop for last minute christmas presents
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i was thinking about this line from my fic:
But the fall had hurt, too. Because the wind had cut into his useless wings like knives, his skin and grace peeling away under the friction, and he had been looking right up at the multicoloured and unreachable expanse of sky just to see it fade from his eyes into dull greys.
and i came up with this. i hope the vision came through
#fearandhatred#fearandpoetry#<- check out this tag for some relatively more normal poetry#this was written at 3 am once again#i am really just out here doing anything#don't think this needs much explanation but i shall yap anyway#this is just crowley through the ages but as he discovers more about the earth he also finds more things he can compare hurt to#because in the beginning all he could compare the wind cutting into him with was the wind itself#and also abandonment. because imo that is one of the first Big Negative Emotions he ever felt besides his dreams being crushed lmaoo#but i think it's fun how this poem also implies that he's constantly thinking about how the fall hurt and how everything reminds him of it#this was also very tedious for the perfectionist in me and the proportions are STILL off#because i only drafted out the wings lmao i was not planning on including the head#then i was like wait what if people don't realise that it's wings#so that happened#and changing the proportions means changing the structure which i do not want to do#good omens#good omens season 2#ineffable husbands#aziracrow#crowley#aziraphale#good omens poetry#good omens fanart#yeah tagging this as fanart because i had to draw everything out first lmao#poetry#writing
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do you consider your self made?
#my art#self portrait of sorts#been musing a lot on disability recently and how being relatively freshly unable to do Most Things has changed my perspective on things#for a long time growing up i was fixated on the idea of being An Impact On The World yknow? mainly the next Big Writer#(and that it would be sooo impressive that everyone would make my books bestsellers when i was only 12 because it was That Good)#and i mean. obviously that didnt work out as originally planned because i was 12 and learning. but I've felt a lot like#I've kind of built my sense of self on those big achievements. even if they were only big to me. and a lot of them#are now out of reach or very difficult to reach. and it's been a lot to. recontextualize#to take what ive been told my whole life and ignore it in favor of just being being enough.#things will happen as they happen. i havent earned anything by suffering but it hasnt ended the world either#im here doing what i Can do for as long as I'm able to do it. and thats all i need to be for now#just making sure that i Do do the things i can do rather than assume i can do them later#anyways. love you#cw:#top nudity#artistic nudity#the dreaded ambiguously presenting nipple#if you put any pro weight loss eating disorder shit on here ill kill you btw#my body is sexy because im in it and im still alive. not because its struggling to stay that way#lindwormposting
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me having gone to bed at 6 am every day for the past week and generally spiraling mentally while rotting in bed waking up this morning: a 4 mile hike in the heat is a really good idea right now, and while we're at it let's start like 3 art projects
#maybe my mom was onto something all these years telling me i'm bipolar#no i don't think i am but i do technically have a bpd diagnosis so like. mood swings up the fucking wazoo are not new#but i am not one to be like 'exercise will fix me'#i've also just come to terms recently with the fact that i didn't kill myself already so might as well start thinking of the long term#so not being in constant pain when im older is something im actually thinking of now#so like. gotta move more which i was doing during this semester! walking like 3 miles a day which didn't help brain but#it's gotta be good for you anyway even if i don't get the endorphins everyone says you get when working out#that's neverrrr been me bc also chronic illness w exercise intolerance#so it's like. wah i have a desire to move my body more and know it's beneficial#but chronic illness + mental illness + trying not to think about exercise in terms of weight loss bc i'm trying not to make that the goal#although certainly wouldn't be mad if that was the result but if i prioritize it over just overall health it's gonna make me obsessive#i'm saying a lot of words. i have no one to really talk to so i once again come to tumblr as a public diary#ANYWAY. trying to find balance with wanting to exercise for overall well-being but dealing with other factors like chronic illness#which has actually been under the most control it's been in years i barely even consider myself (physicslly) disabled these days#and also balancing the fact that while my disordered eating has never recovered and i still have extremely bad relationship with myself#im in a relatively better place with that. i'm not starving myself and im not going through binge/purge cycles#but my relationship with food and eating is still very much unhealthy#and i don't think that will ever really change bc it's so ingrained in the everything about me#i don't really know what i'm talking ahout anymore or what prompted this#i can't simply just say 'i'm gonna go for a hike today' and be normal about. always gotta psycho analyze myself#im in a very weird stage in my life where i feel like i have control over nothing and i barely even exist in my own body#im just like a cacophony of voices trapped inside a meat suit but im not in the drivers seat im stuffed in the trunk and tied up#and the guy driving is an old blind mind who should have lost his license his ass is NOT road safe!#so it's like i have all these ideas and desires and feelings and ahh!! but hey i'm locked up here let me out please#and also the state of the world. so bleak and hopeless and paralyzing that i've just kind of shut my feelings off so i'm rapidly switching#between numbness and overwhelming agony#what the fuck am i talking about
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as a general rule, on average, if americans consistently complain about a food being conceptually weird, gross, and scary, then it probably tastes amazing. or at least inoffensive.
this is because in my experience americans for the most part (give or take a few exceptions by region) think eating literally anything other than beef, chicken, bread, eggs, peanut butter jelly sandwitches, ketchup, and disgusting cloyingly artificial brown sludge soda is insurmountably weird, gross, and scary.
#a lot of people literally refuse to even eat ham or pork#not even for like religious or health reasons#just because they think eating anything but beef and chicken is 'weird and scary and gross'#every time i hear people going on en masse about how 'weird and an acquired taste' something foreign is i go and try it and i'm just like#what the fuck were all of you smoking. where is the unbearable weirdness i am supposed to be experiencing#shoutout to that time i kept hearing about how bizarre a flavor milkis soda is and how intimidating and acquired of a taste#then when i actually try the stuff. it's just fucking peach soda. it's peach soda with a faint tangy yogurtish taste. it makes good floats.#how in the absolute fuck is anything even remotely weird much less gross about this?#unless your concept of what a 'soda' should be is poisoned by a lifetime of the entire soda aisle being filled with nothing but brown sludg#from the same 3 brands that all taste like what would happen if they could distill the concept of diabetes and artificial flavoring syrup#i don't know if other countries have this but there's this weird cultural like mandatory rejection of any 'unusual' food here#way more intense than i've seen from anyone from any other country (though that might just be inexperience with other cultures talking)#people react to the mere suggestion of any food outside a very narrow range with outright disgust and genuine fear and horror#and there's a huge amount of unspoken peer pressure on everyone to also do the same#like you're expected to agree with them and you've breeched some sort of silent social contract if you don't#it's seen as *immoral* almost it feels like#it's difficult to describe unless you've noticed it yourself#americans react to the mere suggestion of eating anything outside of the same 2 meats and handful of fillers the same way#that pearl-clutching aristocrat grandmas react to hearing that people in foreign countries do.. basically anything#it doesnt matter if you're suggesting eating ube cake or suggesting eating live bugs because people will react the same way#everything that's not chicken/beef/ect is as good as bugs to people here#hate this stupid blandass country and how impossible it is to afford any food other than burgers if you're not rich#or blessed with relatives that have any idea how to cook and are at all willing to teach you#cause nother weird thing i've noticed about food culture-or at least wasp food culture-that i haven't seen anywhere else quite the same way#is that if you DO have any relatives that know how to cook then nine times out of ten they will jealously guard their recipes like a dragon#and refuse to share them with anyone#thus taking whatever little cooking knowledge was in the family to their grave#so the opportunity other people usually have for family bonding via passing on recipes? pffft no.#for some reason we seem to actively go out of our way to prevent these things from being passed on#i don't know what the fuck is up with that but i suspect it has something to do with 50's dinner party oneupmanship
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also if only the physical copy of how to disappear completely & never be found i first encountered & read a few years ago (sort of [roughly avg age ten] reader book, not any similarly titled How To) hadn't disappeared completely & not been found since, probably b/c i put it somewhere i intended to be For Safekeeping, which is also how my binder vanished....b/c it's one of those like. those book for late elementary/middle school readers when they just weave in this unrealism which makes for a delightful range & unpredicability? and with a cynical protagonist girl like off to the races like wow her mom is depressed asf & smoking? and it's about A Family History Secrets Mystery so blatantly a haunting that the inciting incident is basically introducing a haunted [family history secrets mystery] house. and spoilers don't matter like it's stemming from there being this missing uncle who grew up so in contrast to the Winsome Winning Sibling Who Does It All Right while seeing his own affiliation with rats that he tried to disappear completely & never be found which led to this Tragedy which led to this more unintended disappearance of his & he haunts this house & wants to be left alone & only goes out at night with this [ambiguous Is That A Giant Rat Or Weird Small Dog (protagonist affected by these family situations who expresses her preoccupation with an awareness of how fate can Strike and Get you with this interest with roving packs of killer chihuahuas. people think she's weird though she spontaneously befriends this other girl struck with this bolt from the blue & a bit weird / outcast & then Insightful who i wish was in it more)] & plays into the hauntedness danger like playing into the [something's Wrong with you then] until having to take yet more action where the urge to express the truth comes out more both b/c living that hidden is more threatened but also b/c now the niece children are more threatened as well. ft. a sort of preternatural blurring of time b/c of only being communicated with through this uncle via his comic pages (that he paints?) of dubiously accurate translations of irl events that are created so quickly it seems to verge on foresight, imagine like "hmm what's this painting. it's me standing in this room looking at this painting??? as someone ominous lurks in the shadows right behind me?" in both [now how could you know this & paint it really fast ahead of time] and [horror]
#i've had good times & thrills & things from other books i've read in the past xyz years & all#but i think this had the best in its final sections with [''uncle rat!''] like that was so incredibly unbelievably hype#and a further ending with a reconciliation that lets the Weirdo still be how they are but with more support lmao#i'm like yeah i want to live in the abandoned house only coming out at night only leaving secret homemade books with Some Truths#yeah i wanna exist in secret passageways & be unseen & uninteracted with & get by despite it all; sure#and disappear (mostly) and (not be found for a while until you have more motivations to help very parallel parties)#and have an affinity & affiliation with animals ppl are also like oh weird bad gross Never Want To See Them who are scroungily around#not implied to be a supernatural connection rather than just like. oh this person is a friend. from chihuahuas; rats; coatis....#also the How To & Never Be book's like core event to The Mystery is. truly so tragic lmao my god. it's really great#i'll just see about reading a digitization somewhere b/c i am Not gonna be able to find it#and the uncle is So mysterious that like. you don't get many Interactions w/him & are just going off of these emergent factors#the situations as they are as consequences of prior events; that he Is this withdrawn & communicating As some haunting monster etc#the way you technically don't also get to know like [what was bruno like prior] Directly W/Promised Accuracy and yet#the [metaphorically i mean] angle going on for everyone like perceiver truth teller Weird Odd One Out yeah yes#bit like [ :) (devastation)] verse talking abt him through a ''so your disabled relative'' lens (who also even w/magic was Just Existing)#here's a guy just existing like :) = my god this absolutely sicko who would even do something like that lmfao. god we've all been there#grappling with [tendencies] they couldn't understand....many things + just the way bruno approaches Speaking is like. okay.#my man's autistic. highest honor i can bestow. among other plausible ways of being disabled / nonconforming / abnormal#also the highest honor....rat affiliated disappeared uncle in How To? well he's really simply not possible ''yes he is Normal(tm)'' so
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okay rambles but i started creatively writing in like ... 5th grade? and. oh god just a little encouragement to anyone looking to get into writing or insecure or whatnot, but HELLS, maybe it's to he expected with my (obviously) very young age and inexperience with writing then, but my writing was really. yeah. Yeah. but then i'm what... a lot older now, obviously, and my writing has gotten leagues better. i'm probably not a good example for this bcs childhood years development stuff are different etc etc BUT practicing writing more and whatnot really does go a long way :]
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#my writing in 2020 is a lot different than my writing now even! especially so compared to my writing from 2010s#reading a lot of media is also really important :] i always read a lot of books BUT i only started to really read poetry since the pandemic#which were uh basically my early teenage years so idk if i'm a good example for this bcs childhood brain development and stuff (???)#BUT STILL ..... playing games like ffxiv and being really invested in the lore and writing + reading more poems and being fascinated with#more authors and pieces of literature + expanding my general vocabulary knowledge whatnot ... it all really goes a long way!#oh man i'm pretty proud of myself actually. i do love my writing. as imperfect (as all things are) it is.#i had a lot of Pauses with writing throughout my uhh relatively short life thus far since i'm NOT yet an adult and all aha but yeah!#so bless ffxiv again for bringing back my writing spirit... and other medias and whatever <3#rn i have to thank bg3 for bringing back my Creative Spirit bcs i've been writing a lot more again and having/working on my creative ideas!!#okay i just wanted to ramble a bit lol ^_^ there!#idk my being a writer is very important to me. and my journey as one too.#i want to make a book one day! most feasibly would be to make a collection of short stories :] a bit similar to 'm is for magic' maybe bcs#i grew up with that lol neil gaiman i adore you <3#i have a very special original world in my head but i am a little selfish and want to keep them all to myself... oops. or who knows!#anyway i have a lot of ideas and i adore writing and literature sooo much <3#anyway. okay. leaving it here.#cheering on every writer author whatever out there !!! unless you're a sucky person of course yuck bigots but yeah ^^ <3#huge writing inspo for me is uhhhhhhhh. thinking#ffxiv! does ffxiv count. esp drk quests. and shb as a whole. and then... edgar allan poe? neil gaiman? yeah?#can't remember anyone else good gods but i love vivid and imaginative storytelling and writing descriptively :] a bit of prose but also#quite simple in its eloquence (???) unsure honestly oh gods anyway BYE rambles over apollo signing off beep boop AGHHHHH (screams)
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Gaslighting? In MY household? It’s more likely than you think
#sad pav hours#<- ‘tis my new vent tag. filter as needed#just pav things#I have experienced so many levels of Confusion today#I mean most of it just boils down to my dad being a dick for no good reason#what do I even do to him????? I yet again ask him this and he’s like#‘I live with you’. My mere existence causes him misery apparently#He says that I’m unlikeable. I say that people generally enjoy my whimsical disposition or just don’t care and ignore me#or in the case of [redacted] try to pacify me in neurotypical ways that only ended up hurting when I found out#instead of communicating that she didn’t want to be friends. Actually that was what my first vent post on here in 2021 was about#and very ironically it was the reason me and Dolphin became friends (random skribbl game my beloved ^^)#But I digress#Also I’ve already accounted for the fact of my future bosses probably disliking me and some people out there just by virtue of being human#but i’d like to believe I’m generally likeable??? I have so much evidence to prove this that the put-down just ends up confusing#Also the amount of name-calling is insane once you stop filtering it out#I can just casually be called stupid. again without any reason#and then people wonder why I have such low self-esteem sometimes#I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m the family scapegoat. I live with 3 blood relatives who hate me.#Also ffs I’M NOT A FREELOADER!!!! STOP sAYING THAT#I understand the real world will be brutal I see the real effects of the cost-of-living crisis every day#I’m prepared to live frugally to survive so stop saying i will be shook 😭 i’m fuckign ready to leave as soon as I have enough savings#and a place to stay. I’m done here. Except for the dogs I will always love and miss them 😭😭😭
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OK WAIT here's a ITNL chapter 14 section that's not really spoilers. just a sweet lil section
after this is where it's more Spoilers. but for now. HERE U go. happy birthday vash & also Uhhhh @ ITNL readers I PROMISE i am working on the chapter. things r just hard lol
#speculation nation#itnl shit#spoilers bc of uhh. Conversation. i wanna keep the conversation a secret for now lol#not bad spoilers it's just better digested as a whole probably#ANYWAYS heres some more vash & kaite bro time. god im gonna miss kaite when we gotta say goodbye to him#but he's still here for now and he gets to watch vash tinker with his (very internally fried) arm#before and after this section is vash inspecting the damages & thinking of what he can do to try to fix it#which i do have a lot written. but im gonna be going thru it for accuracy & also keeping in mind the thing from earlier#the possibility that average operational power of his arm comes from vash himself rather than extra batteries#this is with the assumption that a (relatively) small output of electricity is not smth that would fuck with his lifespan#just a normal expenditure of energy. like moving his flesh muscles. just a constant lil stream of electricity that he gets from eating & w/#no need to dip into his life reserves for it. bc if he did that would get impractical.#idk im going to think about it more. i really dont Need to figure out how his arm works#but listen. ive built a robot before. im in polytech. i wanna think about wtf his arm actually Is#even if this is coming in the context of all the internal wires being blown & a bunch of shit straight up Melted#his arm is... very very blown... he's gonna be going one-arm for a While still lmao. oh well#i think it's a good thing to remember that he is in fact physically disabled. he can make up for it Especially in a fight#but it still will inconvenience him in a lot of ways. cool biotech arm is cool but also it's nice to remember that he Is physically disable#and so i am embracing it. he's tinkering with his arm in his free time but if he has to spend weeks (or months) w/o his prosthetic#well that's just the reality he's gotta live#anywyas. Here u go. snippet. that's a few hundred words so idk if this counts as a snippet but im calling it a snippet. Here You Go
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Mutual on Twitter was talking about Daigo instinctively feeling the need to put the pieces of Mine's ruined life back together and make him feel at ease... Is That Not The Appeal Of AraSawa As Well... like they might not know the depth of what their lives were like before in full but surely there are some details safe to share and there's very little that wouldn't sound bleak... but it's also a MineDai But To The Left sort of moment because Mine has always felt he deserves basic human decency, even if he has to earn it, but that's never been the case for Jo... [SORRY I'LL GET TO PENDING RESPONSES I'VE JUST BEEN LOST IN THE SAUCE for better or worse it feels wrong not to write in every day at this point 😭😭😭]
i remember telling my twitter mutual that arasawa was minedai but with dads and the way a light bulb seemed to go off for her was just perfect LMAO
but on the real arasawa IS a lot like minedai when it comes to some themes, and moreover they still maintain their individuality (aside from the dad aspect LMAO) in the parties involved, ESPECIALLY mine and jo
it's weird to explain, but daigo, in a sense, was an 'end goal' for mine. maybe not in THAT way, but just having his comradery was a sample of the thing he'd been striving for his whole life. ergo, mine joins the yakuza specifically due to interest in daigo, and decides to stay and commit himself to it because of daigo- and as you said, mine understands his worth and wants his efforts to be reciprocated. the problem is that he's not exactly sociable..
inversely, arakawa was, on the contrary, an accident for jo: sure, he swore up in order to be closer to his son. but now By The Fate Of The Cruel Universe jo's found himself becoming attached to arakawa too, whether he wholly admits it or not. A Cruel Fate not only in that jo undoubtedly doesn't believe he'd be deserving of something special with arakawa, but that he also shouldn't pursue something special with arakawa considering their positions in the clan (also masato would probably throw a fit and he can't be upsetting his baby boy </3)
BUT THIS IS THE SIMILARITY OF DAIGO AND ARAKAWA RIGHT so often comparing mine and jo, i never touch on how the other two relate... but of course with them, daigo and arakawa try to become closer to mine and jo (evidently we see daigo have a little more success on account of rgg refusing to let arakawa and jo be in a room together for more than five minutes). its unfortunate that we don't get to hear much of arakawa's thoughts on jo, but if it's anything like daigo and his concern over mine (i.e. worrying that mine is only concerned with money/only sees value in himself through his wealth, wanting to be closer to him and get rid of the 'stiffness' between them) i imagine he harbors similar sentiment (and being a Bonafide Father instead of a proverbial one like daigo, i wouldn't be surprised if he could be more anxious/concerned over jo, especially considering the- albeit small- age gap absent in minedai).
#long post#i made it long oopsie (╯▽╰ )#snap chats#[deranged] and thats why they're both flavors of yuri#didnt mean for this to turn into a thesis for. minedai/arasawa???? but it's here now so....#i ALWAYS think of the comparison between them this is now very evident.......#obviously there's a LOT more to be said about minedai/arasawa and even just mine himself BUT. we already done that LMAO#plus this long already good lord....#it's the way they're so similar but not at the same time that's perfect#so funny though i always see my twitter mutuals talk about mine and daigo being parents#and like. not to be fandom police but mine's child-hating ass just wouldn't have it#you know who DO have kid(s) together... and is relatively the same flavor........#gen so funny to me i talked bout this a while ago but ill say it again cause Sue Me#but although i never care too much if characters i like together have kids If They Do..... I Win A Million Dollars...#ergo if fam's really looking for that minedai-as-dads gold..... look to the left at arasawa please and thanks#OH ALSO YOU'RE GOOD ?? no need to write in every day it's ok :)#always appreciate when you do but !!! dont feel obligated please (╯▽╰ ) cant force things etc etc :]
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💬
#being a hermit is ever more attractive like every day honestly#listen. In theory I would love to be Informed and Involved in Discourse but in reality there are several problems#the first of which is me. I'm neither patient nor self aware enough especially recently#the second is other people and again its also maybe a me problem but I Do Not Wish to engage with angry people who can't have a discussion#rather than a full on fight.#then there's the problem of having opinions in general. I care very deeply about a (relative) few things and outside of that#I don't care strongly enough to come to an informed opinion. And sometimes this is Bad.#as someone who usually enjoys looking at a topic with other people who see it differently and forming an opinion and all that#I'm just very weary of discourse.#not just on tumblr or even mostly here. It's in my real life and somewhat unavoidable. But I think getting more comfortable with saying#“I don't have an opinion on that subject but I'm interested in your perspective anyway”#would be good.#that or leaving civilization forever.
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I’m taking this weekend off to catch up on all the estar guars shows I missed and like. Hey. Was anyone going to tell me that andor is the best Star wars show ever made
#the thing is I think I like Star Wars wrong#the less lightsabers there are the more I like it#just finished the prison break eps and I’m just laying here like. this is what Star Wars is about this is what it could’ve been all the tim#this just cements in my mind how much I hate Dave filoni force mysticism shit#but also it’s very funny thinking that somewhere else in the galaxy while this gritty political thriller is happening#Vader is off somewhere being an evil space wizard committing atrocities#like how funny it is that you think you’re fighting against an evil that is overpowering but ultimately mundane#but actually they have two evil space wizards in the chamber and one of them is the emperor#and your only hope to win was to find another space wizard who was good#if I was a rebel organizer I’d be so fucking mad that it all comes down to who uses space magic most effectively#idk it’s so dumb but this dissonance is what makes Star Wars the best property on the planet imo#is that when you take a step back the world is so expansive the space magic is such a relatively small part#anyway I love star wars bc it has the capacity to simultaneously be so gritty and real but also so fucking stupid#all at the same time#also I love while all this is happening the word Jedi never comes out of any of the older characters’ mouths even once#like they weren’t really all that important to the common galactic citizen were they
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We're going to talk about our cool vampire guy headcanons again. We like to set Monsieur Scarlet as a member of Solenopsis invicta, albeit a very unconventional example of the species. As a fire ant, technically, he is venomous - however, he's not actually had venom production online for decades, and at this point the cost for Making That Bite Work Again far outweighs the perceived benefit.
Would it be directly useful for his survival to be capable of injecting people with venom that causes intense burning sensations? Yes, probably, especially since he's at a scale where the swelling induced would probably take out an arm for hours at a time. He's just not going to fix it, because that takes life force that he could be using for other purposes, like breathing, or keeping his heart running, or having an emergency teleportation stock so that he can fling himself a metre or two in any direction when need be.
#we speak#bug fables#he's brazilian#if you are familiar with this species then it may be because they are INCREDIBLY invasive in like. everywhere theyve been ported#it is partially a joke on how incredibly broadly our version of scarlet travels#hes probably run into a good few other colonies of his species but with how our hc awakening Works he might not have recognized them#and he doesnt precisely hang around long enough to learn about these things#generally members of the species would be a lot more pigmented but wizard biology is weird and scarlet is weirder#which is to say that he's spent a very very long time healing back damage with investments in life force#and cutting down the body running fund enough that he can try to exist in areas that dip below 20 degrees celsius#and these things in combination as it turns out kind of fuck up pigment production in a major way#magic changes your colors much in the same way that mutations usually work#which is to say “it doesn't necessarily change That Specifically but color is one of the least lethal things that can be altered here”#it takes relatively little to change pigment production and Being A Different Color is relatively unlikely to kill you#not that it doesnt affect your life at all but it will not kill you outright and thats really all that needs to be done#he started out a sort of red-brown color and then his carapace just sort of didnt darken like it should normally#and then he wound up on the run and he slowly color shifted to pink over the course of several decades#depending on which canon we're operating in he may have also just totally lost all pigment on one occasion#when he took an unplanned nap and then wound up horror movie-ing some random researchers after losing his higher brain functions#and also a lot of other general functions. like bodily ones. like producing pigment at all.#dont need that underground but he walked out into the light and got flashbanged and immediately decided to not do that again#as it turns out. pigment production is important for some things. like sun protection. you want to be capable of being in the sun.
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see for the thing ive observed abt the way the female-to-male predation types of portrayals happen to go, that imo for some reason use like extra stablished power dynamics to like. *justify themselves happening in the first place (like ex mothers that are yk. v straighforward menaces in a kid/teen's inmediacy), is that i will give fujimoto the acknowledgement of partially avoiding doing so by virtue of him not having much respect or shame for himself and his story analogues.
#txt#*like whay im trying to say is that i get the feeling that they use like very heightened imbalances more from the getgo to like pose them#as a threat to start as baseline ygwim?#say to continue w the mother bit. too I feel they allow the male character like if just one iota of decency#a certain jenesaisquoi subconscious safeguard that the agressor can be toppled ultimately. that it has a weakness.#like a very subtle security that they can 'be put in their place'#and to be clear im not saying that writing abt abuse has to be an exercise of cruelty or self flagellation#and self debasement regardless of it being lived or not that's not what I'm getting at.#in this mother case ive said before that they tend to make them also mentally ill but lowkey in that#Woman Illness way like yk they're throwing bpd and shit there w/o a fault. like yeah they're abusive but#how come we still get this like freudian-pseudoscience-misogynyesque portrayal like who#does this even benefit (for another post bc I think I left some things out last time).#like this powerful figure over the most weakest stages of a person that's somehow both irremediably#abusive but also by [debilitating female trait weakness here] is pitiable (ie overcome-able. send her ass#to a psychiatric).#like i hope im conveying what I'm trying to say here.#like not all stories abt abuse have to be so graphic in fact some that do can't even carry that#load you're not good or throughout enough for that you don't have that range srry 💀#and the fujimoto part like while yes [rant here abt femcharacter sexualization relative to mcharacs here]#yes makima is already denji's boss/adult(the power dynamic justification part). it's not like denji#is getting femchara of brsrkTM treatments re: assault n grooming (decency part) (not complaining)#again not everything has to be an exercise of self humiliation etc.#but if the puke kiss said at least one thing it was compromise to the portrayal 💀#that and makima just being a internally straightforward offender (not bc it makes things simpler it's that#avoids the hashtag girlabuserTM thing). like nah the way out is through on this one sorry :/#he didn't have to do that but if fujimoto's own personal shortage of self respect nourishes the art well then 💀💀
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fictional or not, dragon lore is always so interesting.
#I'm watching a DS3 lore video on the nameless king bc i wanted to figure out wtf is the dragonslayer armor's deal#but the greater lore around the dragons is SO fucking good and now I'm thinking about dragons lol#i could watch these dark souls/elden ring lore videos by VaatiVidya all day tbh#i LOVE how deep he goes with it. these worlds and their lore already feel huge but#as someone who's only played the third dark souls it rly makes me appreciate how complex and interconnected it is as a series.#sometimes i wonder if the creators ever watch these vids and think “we didn't mean all that but that's a great idea”#or if they watch it and get super happy like YES that is exactly what our subtle storytelling meant.#either way i have So so much respect for ppl who go and put together these lore videos#going as far as to look at game dumps and early releases/cut content and ALL the dialogue and item descriptions#for any one topic the lore is so scattered about and piecing together any single thing seems like such a massive undertaking.#like lmaooo i can't even follow a single questline without pulling up the wiki#a recent rabbit hole i went down too is how there are different times/realities even just DS3 takes place in?#like how in Untended Graves you see a world without light where darkness rules - and in ringed city when ur fighting those#dragons in the base of that big tree that's supposed to be the original firelink shrine and then the shrine u use is maybe The Past?#the past relative to the other shrine from the world where the flame went out w darkness ruling.#idk how the transition works from being in that one dude's garden in ur world to just walking right into the other one but idc.#just say i got twilight zoned or somethn lol. always. very interesting stuff :^} I'm not smart enough to pick up on anything in the moment#but it's SO fun watching what other people pieced together whose whole thing is that they go thru these games thoroughly.#and in a way it makes me not want to stop playing DS/ER bc there's just so much going on here that's so rewarding??#like. on TOP of the suuper deep lore the gameplay is also just super fun and u get HELLA weapons and special moves#and the modding scene has made some hella streamline tools that are so good these have been the first games I've ever MADE mods for!#like i can't think of any other games that are like this where I'm really encouraged it make it my own with such a helpful and#engaging community. I'm sure there r other games out there that are similarly engaging with deep lore and streamlined modtools#and mod communities but (〒﹏〒) 1. where?? 2. DS/ER are very beloved to me.#it's funny how little u have to know or do to beat their respective storylines. I've played them both a ton and still know so little.#and when i walk away from these lore vids I'm always like Woah 😵💫 yk? anyways.. that's my lil rant :3 back to work now
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I don't personally enjoy death in my stories for one because I have no experience with it personally and for two because you can't torture a character anymore once they've died 😇
#and I mean like perma death not talking abt any afterlifes and the afterlife in my story is based on DnD type deals#but even harder to get to like people can't just die and come back like nothing it is a PROCESS and NOT an easy one and also#not commonly practiced because it is rare to get it right (to be more direct it HASN'T been gotten right yet it's just a theory atm)#I never talk about my story or character OCs BUT I guess here's a taste of it#anyway I don't really kill off my characters but if I do experience a death of some sort then I probably will start writing abt it#but for now my characters are relatively safe also this isn't to say I'm unwilling to write abt death I just don't feel equip to handle it#in terms of a story revolving or somewhat revolving around a grieving process of some sort of dealing with all the different feelings#I dunno that stuff so I wouldn't write it as of right now#torture on the other hand#OH a good example for how I view the whole death thing in my story is kinda like Adventure Time#like that episode with Ghost Princess like ghosts and other paranormal stuff exist and are prominent#and they do go and meet with death thru a portal but that's like the surface level afterlife you can't really hit the deeper levels#unless you are dead and no one can see that stuff unless they are dead like when Finn dies we finally see what it's all like#as for like the levels and stuff I dunno abt all that I have like a very vague concept of how that would work but it's kinda like#beyond human comprehension y'know? that's how I view it and like death is PERMANENT and it's not suppose to be messed with#or bad things happen 👻👻👻#there are even more things abt it like little exceptions to the rules but the rules still apply even still it's just like#living on borrowed time or being forced to like#well I don't wanna get too much into that tho that's like super spoilers#but man I enjoy thinking abt it
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