#good god it's tedious

[bo-bo-bean]

In a car

Flippy: Drive faster, Sneaky, the bleeding is getting worse!

Sneaky: I'm trying, okay? I get nervous when people yell at me while I'm driving.

Flippy: Oh my fault, I'll just die in silence, shall I!?

Sneaky: *scoffs* Flippy, you're always so dramatic.

Mouse: Yeah calm down, Flippy, you're not dying. You're just losing large amounts of blood.

Flippy: ... Yeah that happens to be a leading cause of death!

Sneaky: No, you're thinking of cancer

Mouse: I thought heart disease was the number one cause of death?

Flippy: Yes, but without blood, my heart will have nothing to pump and will therefore get bored and die!

Sneaky: Ok, just try not to get blood on the seat.

Mouse: Are you guys sure this is the right way to the hospital?

Sneaky: I'm pretty sure.

Flippy: What do you mean you're pretty sure??

Sneaky: I think it's that... By that place we ate at the other day? What was it...

Mouse: Oh those fries were DELICIOUS

Sneaky: Oh my gosh, seriously, they were so good-

Flippy: THIS IS MY ARM!! *holds up arm* NOTICE HOW I AM ABLE TO HOLD IT AN ENTIRE ARM'S LENGTH AWAY FROM MY BODY!! THIS IS AN UNDESIRABLE QUALITY!! I INSIST YOU FOCUS ON FINDING ME MEDICAL CARE!!

Sneaky: *putting on mascara*

Flippy: …what are you doing!?

Sneaky: I have a date after this…. Actually can one of you grab the wheel?

Flippy: … *looks at Mouse* … *looks at Sneaky* … *grabs the wheel with his dismembered hand*

Sneaky: Thanks. *pulls out lipstick and steps on the break gently*

Mouse: Hey, how come we're slowing down?

Sneaky: Some ducks are crossing the road. … *looks at a flabbergasted Flippy* Well what else was I supposed to do?

Flippy: Kill them!!!

Sneaky: That's terrible…!

Flippy: No!! This *holds up arm* is terrible!!

Sneaky: … I'm not killing those ducks, Flippy.

Mouse: Yeah they are adorable.

Flippy: Get me to a hospital!! *waves dismembered arm between them*

Sneaky: *gags* Ugh ugh…

Mouse: Flippy, your arm is REALLY cold…

Flippy: …… is it, Mouse?? I'm no doctor but I would venture to guess that's probably indicative of some kind of severe trauma!

Mouse: *shrugs* I don't know, sometimes people just have cold hands all the time *eyes Sneaky*

Sneaky: Should I turn the heater on?

Mouse: Oh! Yeah!

Flippy, dejected: *sighs* Guys if I don't make it, I just want you both to know… that I hate you.

Mouse: Flippy quit being so dramatic, look, the ducks are crossing the road?

Flippy: *flops over in the backseat, dead*

Sneaky: See? And nothing had to die.

Mouse: … *looks at Flippy with confusion*

Sneaky: Oh look, the place with the fries! You think we have time?

Mouse: YES.

Sneaky: Nice.

[ccsnake1]

Holy fucking shit y'all splatoween

[thedreadvampy]

my friend invited me to go with them to a show tonight

and the thing is it was not good. it was a cabaret with some amazing circus acts but each of them got like. 5-10 minute slots. and were interspersed with 20+ minutes EVERY TIME of some of the most tedious standup work I have ever seen from the MC and the same 5 physical comedy bits repeated ad nauseum. this guy literally did a Borat bit. in the year of our lord 2024. he sang 2 entire rounds of the Family Guy theme.

and it just KEPT GOING. it was meant to be a 90 minute show, which imo is already a slog for a show starting at 11:30PM but within the bounds of reasonable. it finished. at fucking 1:50 AM. ALMOST TWO AND A HALF HOURS OF THIS SHIT. and it did not help that the 5 bits were all of the 'OH NO SOMETHING HAS DISRUPTED THE SHOW' variety which is funny for a bit, less funny when you're literally 45 minutes past the end of your scheduled finish and still fucking going.

HOWEVER. what I did not realise was that this was in fact. my friend's favourite comedian. and if I had known this I might not have gathered up my stuff and walked out during the curtain call and probably would not have announced on the way out, 'that was the most tedious fucking thing I have ever endured.' and I almost certainly, when someone overheard me complaining about the length and tedium and said 'yeah it ran a bit long huh,' have replied, at the actual near-shouting top of my voice, "I AM GOING TO KILL MYSELF."

I feel. bad for spoiling the show for them.

in my defence I have been very tired this week, I got home at 2:30 AM, and raked seating really hurts my hips so I was in agony by the end of the first hour. but mostly I'm just a bitch who loves to hate tbh.

[pokimoko]

I have had it with these motherfucking spam bots on this motherfucking site.

[bamfwizard]

oh I get it now! azicrow is hozier coded and gentelbeard is the crane wives coded

[waroferas]

Kind of cliche but ive always found the Final Moments from majoras mask in clock town really striking . From the combination of how young i was when i first experienced it, to seeing how all the townspeople face death in their own different ways, to the music and the atmosphere. Though, apart from that it'd definitely be pretty much most cutscenes in spirit tracks between link and zelda. They're all too good imo, their dynamic is so fun, plus their relationship is really fleshed out, and the animation is honestly really cute..

ahhh i totally know what u mean !! most of majora’s mask actually took me totally by surprise so the first time i was in clock town for that final hour it was offputting in a way that draws me in Every Time. i am also diehard spirit tracks defender so i totally get it . spirit tracks save me

[risingsunresistance]

why did glowing mushroom mixins go up to 4.5m, the update literally changed nothing. they last exactly as long, do the same thing, and are crafted with the same materials 😭

[kubfoo]

in case anyone was wondering i did not like the new warrior cat book it displeased and irritated me

[end-orfino]

ahhhhhh i remember why i dont read comics & books and watch movies as much as I should. Because they make me lose it

[sadlazzle]

tbh i sincerely hope none of u here r elden beast apologists. i don’t wanna hear shit abt it ‘making sense for the lore’ for there to be no torrent elden beast is a boss MADE for torrent. this last attempt i only managed to hit this massive space cunt twice, the rest of the time i spent catching up to him, and every time i did he fucked off to the other side of the arena again. arguably the worst boss in the game which rlly sucks bc it’s the final boss and tbh i expect better frm fromsoft and i dont think im wrong to. elden beast rlly doesn’t hit the mark the same as any other final bosses for me, though i will say it’s only marginally worse than soul of cinder, but for completely different reasons, and not even SoC being from ds3 can save elden beast frm this unfortunate ranking

[hiddenbeks]

thinking abt her :)

[shiroselia]

I promise I'm gonna write a longer piece about SSO's writing one of these days but before I do that, have this general tldr I just spawned because I was thinking about why I'm so fucking disappointed in Anne's character writing in particular (I have a lot of positive things to say about Anne's writing but I also have a lot of complaints about it)

I want this game to be interesting in execution, not just in concept

This entire game is so fucking well set-up and it's so interesting as a setting, and SSE are really good at introducing interesting conflict in the story but then doing fuck all with it (for many reasons, primarily what reads to me like not wanting to make the "good side", i.e the druids, but even more so the soul riders, "morally questionable") Biggest example being Anne not being allowed to go far enough in her character set-up of being disappointed in her situation (like her only being allowed to be disappointed, not pissed and angry and vengeful, she's just kinda miffed about it), like how when she runs away with the clover SSE has THE free-est fucking conflict ever, and they just do not go far enough with it because we can't have the soul riders disagreeing, and that's so fucking Boring and Frustrating, because so much of it is Right There but they NEVER ALLOW THEMSELVES TO DO ANYTHING WITH IT for so many reasons and it pisses me of

[girlmetalsonic]

FUCK MYSTIC MANSION

[mariyekos]

One day I'm going to finish my FFXVI mega essay, but for now I think my thoughts on the game can be summarized like this:

When making FFXVI, the developers sure knew what they wanted to do, and by god were they going to do it.

Were they also going to do other things that would make those first thing better? Were they going to do other things that make a good game overall? Ehhhhh...they were going to do what they wanted to do, and invest all their time and effort into that, so surely that would be enough! Surely!

[spkyscry]

...I could write a half-decent Chucky, I imagine...

[gentlethorns]

okay i'm struggling again