#good god I wrote a lot
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I STILL FIRMLY BELIEVE P2IS IS PERFECTLY SUITED FOR AN ANIME ADAPTATION AND SOMEDAY ATLUS BETTER GIVE IT TO ME
Edit: this one sentence post and my one sentence reply made me reach the tag limit for maybe the first time
there absolutely should be anime adaptations of the persona 1 manga and the persona 2 duology they would go so hard
#straightforward plot with little player influence (ie only one ending no social links etc)#the protag is one of the least blank slate of them all (personal history preestablished goals and feelings preexisting friends etc)#<- maya is even more so and I’m sure p2ep would make a great anime too I just don’t know it as well#the plot and emotion would probably be enhanced if he spoke and emoted without player decisions affecting them tbh#the crunchy pixel art is incredible but imagine seeing it fully animated in an hd 2d anime style oh my lord#oldsona#persona 2#p2#persona 2 innocent sin#p2is#rambling aside#the other two would be great as well!#I’d like if the p1 anime stuck to the game more but I hear the manga is fantastic so that’d be great too#besides afaik the only differences are naoya having a personality and character and history and arc which is great for a non video game#and even though I’m a p1 defender I’m also first to admit the story and characters were a bit lacking especially compared to other personas#p2ep would be lovely to see as well#since idk much about it#I watched all the dialogue in a cutscene movie and watched a let’s play#but I still do not understand what it’s about or what happens ;-;#I also have a grudge with the shitty translations and dubs and that they made maya silent#but all those could be fixed with a modern anime adaptation!#and seeing it all fully animated and with hopefully more explanation could clear up my confusion!#good god I wrote a lot#rambling in the tags#tldr:#atlus please give us oldsona anime adaptations#their linear plots non blank protags and dated/unclear art make it the best idea imaginable#anime adaptation#please please please#i need this so bad
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Please guys go read Software Entropy by @clubsheartsspades (I hope you don’t mind the tag!)
It literally destroyed me. I forced my sister to read it and it destroyed her too. I just had to draw something for it because I couldn’t get this quote out of my head, but I couldn’t possibly do the scene justice in the same way as in the fanfiction so you need to go read it yourself
#you go into it thinking oh it can’t be that bad I’m not that affected by sad media#then it is that bad#and worse#and oh my god im only halfway through#and you remember there is no happy ending for them and somehow you forgot and wished things would start getting better#but you already know how this story ends#I need to reread it because I feel like I missed a lot of symbolism the first go because of how emotionally distressed I was#this persons work is so good#I read one of their other fanfics before leaving only rust behind I think#and it was also very good it was very cute#I don’t think I finished it because I’m not much of a reader but I think I’ll go back to it and the other one they wrote too#I swear these two little robots make me miserable#art#my art#comic#rain world#five pebbles#looks to the moon#rw fp#rw lttm#rw moon#rw fanfic#fanfiction
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@sugarpasteltmnt 's The Neon Void :
The rapidly-disintegrating-at-the-subatomic-level Krang Key: *screeching snapcube's Dr. Eggman anti-Sonic monologue in Krang* ________________________________________________
√



Anyways, back again! No one should be surprised!
Look, there were just too many cool scenes that were begging for color in this fic. So!
Until I'm told to stop, or run out, here we go.
#illustration#art#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt fanart#digital art#artists on tumblr#tmnt#the neon void#in my heart i know the key and/or the krang parasite called Leo a blue gumball son of a bitch. at least once.#i think the yellow actually looks better for Leo's shell pattern. but theyre blue and i must accept this. i say as i keep making them yellow#and then having to recolor them blue. repeatedly. like an idiot. thank the art gods for ibispaint's color changing fx layers.#anyway! ive been wanting to do this scene since i read it. i actually sketched it twice bc i wanted to do it so badly lol#hopefully its at keast slightly legible considering i. once again. have no concept of detail moderation.#if anyone can tell what i wrote as the glowing runes on the hockey stick. congrats! 🎉🎉 i covered it up with a lot of particles. accidently#im gonna shut up now but good luck to Neon Void in the TMNT au competition! everyone's entries are so cool!
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bftc jaytim fuck nasty in their batman suits🩷
CORRECT THEY DO. it's like you live in my brain, anon. and for that, you get a full fic bc i've wanted to write this anyway and you gave me an excuse to. have 6k words worth of dirtybadwrong JayTim. rough sex, blood play, pain play, degradation, consensual but not safe or sane, dead dove vibes so be warned. but also enjoy bc ily for this thought anon 🩷
“You look ridiculous in that get-up. Like a kid out for trick-or-treats.” The words were just as brutal as the fight was. Jason had the bodyweight and training to easily pin Tim, now that he was done toying around.
Of course, toying around for Jason Todd looked like bloody slashes across Tim’s back, base of his skull, and his forehead. Picking one of Bruce’s older suits may have been a bad idea on Tim’s part. The armor was thinner and easier for Jason to slash through with a batarang in a clenched fist.
Tim had managed to knock the batarang out of Jason’s hand, but that also seemed like a bad idea now, with Jason on top of Tim. His fists were even more brutal, blunt weapons and he’d reinforced the gloves to make his punches hit harder across Tim’s face.
There was blood pouring from Tim’s nose and mouth. With all the pain flaring across his body, it was hard for him to get a good read on if anything was broken or not.
All he knew was it hurt. His head spun from slamming against the concrete. It was hard for Tim to blink his eyes into focus. And when he did, he wished he hadn’t. Jason was leaning in so close, his mask was all Tim could see. Tim dizzily wondered how the glowing eyes didn’t impede Jason’s vision.
“Look at me,” Jason demanded. His voice was robotic behind the thick metal mouthpiece. One of his fists pulled back for another punch. “Do you see terror? Do you see fear? Or is it just your own reflection?”
By some miracle, Tim managed to catch the punch before it connected with his face. The muscles in his wrist and forearm screamed at the animalistic strength Jason pushed back with, inching his fist closer and closer to connecting. If it did manage to connect, Tim knew his own hand in the way wouldn’t do much to soften the blow. If anything, Jason would shatter Tim’s knuckles against his own nose.
Not a pretty thought.
“That mad I said no to being your Robin?” Tim wheezed. It was hard to get air in his lungs, with Jason perched on his chest, putting all his weight on Tim’s midsection.
Jason scoffed with cruel amusement. “You’re a second choice, Drake. It doesn’t matter to me if you say no, I can always ask the original. He’d at least put up a better fight than you’re managing.”
Tim couldn’t argue that. He thought he’d have some kind of chance in a fight against Jason, but it was a losing game to confront Jason on his turf, in a suit Tim wasn’t comfortable in. He was too stupid to even bring his bo staff.
A great Batman he was turning out to be.
With bloody teeth, Tim smiled. “You’re right. Is that why I’m your reflection, Jason? Two second rate Robins who will never be the original?” He managed a laugh against protesting ribs. “For what it’s worth, I still think I’m better than you. Least I didn’t die.”
He couldn’t see the look on Jason’s face, but he didn’t need to. The feral yell that came out of Jason spoke for itself at how well Tim got under his skin. Jason’s other fist came barreling toward Tim’s face, but he managed to move his head out of the way, making it only connect with the ground. Jason’s punch was hard enough to make the concrete crack.
Even with the reinforced gloves, that had to hurt. Maybe a couple cracked bones, if Tim was lucky. Jason couldn’t hit as hard if he injured himself.
That was a solid plan. If he’d actually planned it in the first place.
“Can’t believe I ever liked you, Drake,” Jason snarled, pulling his hand free from the concrete. He flexed his fingers just a bit too slow. He definitely hurt himself, even if he was trying to hide it. Jason went for his utility belt, grabbing another batarang.
“Flattering,” Tim deadpanned. He tried to elbow Jason in the neck, but Jason easily twisted away from the blow.
“I really did you know,” Jason said. Maybe it was the mask, but Tim could’ve sworn Jason’s tone changed slightly. “If Bruce hadn’t corrupted you, you really could’ve been something.”
Tim ignored the comment about Bruce. Bruce’s death was too raw for Tim to be able to look at his grief about it head-on. “Can’t say the feeling was mutual,” Tim grunted. He tried to slash his glove fins across Jason’s face. But Jason was smarter. He had a more durable suit that made the blow easily glance off.
Damn Tim for picking this suit. He idealized Bruce’s image too much and forwent practicality. He was paying for it now. A new suit would’ve had proper weapons worked into the wrists for Tim to easily flick out.
“I don’t know about that,” Jason mocked with a cold laugh. “Remind me again Drake, who broke me out of prison?”
He had a point.
“Real great job you’ve done repaying that kindness,” Tim muttered. He avoided addressing it directly. He didn’t owe Jason his reasons. Especially not with how they’d all blown up in his face.
“I never needed your kindness,” Jason growled. He wrapped a hand around Tim’s throat and pressed down just enough to make it uncomfortable for Tim to breathe. “That’s what all you Bats could never get through your skulls. I didn’t need to be Bruce’s pity project, and I definitely didn’t need to be yours.”
“Trust me,” Tim fought to get the words out, trying to worm his fingers under Jason’s grip. “You don’t have my pity.”
“What do I have, then?”
“My contempt.” The more Tim struggled, the tighter Jason’s grip got. The sharp points of his claws were starting to dig into Tim’s skin and draw blood. Blood flow was cut off from Tim’s brain and he fought to keep hold of his consciousness.
“Liar,” Jason hissed. “No one else is here, Tim. You don’t have to pretend and hide things from me I already know.”
Maybe passing out would be a good thing. Then, Tim would have a convenient reason for not answering Jason. A reason to not face the truth Jason wanted him to bare.
Tim knew that Jason probably knew. The way they’d looked at each other through the prison safety glass when Jason was locked up had a thousand unspoken words in just a shared smile. A promise, that maybe, if Jason cleaned himself up with this second chance, there could be something between them.
But Jason didn’t clean up. He flung himself in the opposite direction, if anything. A growing body count and an ugly reign of terror that was Tim’s job to stop.
He started this. He put misplaced faith in Jason. Tim’s bad judgment jeopardized Gotham.
And now Jason wanted the unspoken part said out loud. Something a part of Tim would rather die than admit after all this. They both already knew. Making Tim say it was just an obvious attempt to humiliate him and Tim refused to sink to Jason’s level.
All this over a stupid crush.
“Fine,” Jason continued when Tim didn’t say anything. “I’ll say it for you. You loved me.”
Tim made a face and twisted, finally forcing Jason’s hand free from his neck with a hard strike to his inner elbow. “It wasn’t love,” he insisted through grit teeth.
“What was it then?”
Tim didn’t say a word. He wasn’t going to give in to Jason’s cruelty.
“Tell you what,” Jason’s voice dropped low and almost sultry. “If you say it out loud, I’ll give you a free pass. No one will know.”
“A free pass?”
There was no way Jason was implying what Tim thought he was.
“Right here, right now.” Jason nodded. “Can’t say I’ll make it sweet, but something tells me you’re not the vanilla type anyway.”
Shit. He was implying that. Tim’s breath caught in his throat.
The answer should’ve been obvious.
The answer was obvious. Tim was laying in a growing pool of his own blood because of Jason. Countless people were dead because of Jason. Bruce’s legacy was being destroyed because of Jason. Whatever little crush Tim had once had was long gone and replaced with disgust and hatred.
Most of it was.
But some small piece of Tim clung to the way Jason grinned at him. And that small piece of him seemed to be steering the rest of him, making him hesitate on what should’ve been an easy answer. An easy chance to catch Jason off guard and get the upper hand in the fight.
Tim hoped the cowl hid enough of his face that his expression wasn’t readable.
“Over my dead body,” Tim forced the words out, pulling himself back into reality. Praying Jason wouldn’t read into the pause.
Jason’s body shifted. He was quiet for a moment, then he shrugged and brought the batarang clenched in his fist to Tim’s neck, easily finding the jugular. “So be it. I agree anyway. Killing you is the best way to cut this goddamn feeling out of me.”
“What feeling?” Tim frowned, fingers twitching as he stalled, trying to think of a real plan.
“No, no.” Jason shook his head and laughed. It was a hollow sound, this time. “You don’t get to have your cake and eat it too. If you won’t say it, then I won’t either.”
Oh.
“You…” Tim sucked in a breath. He was on death’s edge, a blade to his neck, but somehow it was the furthest thing from his spinning mind. “You like me? Like that?” He said it like a stupid high schooler, too shy to even look their crush in the eye.
“What difference does it make now?” Jason shifted his weight on Tim, bearing down more. “This was always how it was going to end, between us.”
“It makes all the difference,” Tim said. He didn’t know why it did. But he knew it did. Tim reached a hand up, but instead of going for Jason’s batarang, he went further. His fingers reached under his own cowl and tugged it off, baring his face to Jason.
Vulnerability. A metaphorical white flag, surrendering to Jason.
Tim was dangerously close to getting himself killed. He could feel it, in his beating heart and overflowing adrenaline.
“I would’ve come at this from a different angle if I knew…” Tim started, before trailing off. They were still dancing around saying it directly.
Jason barked out another laugh. “Oh, would you? What, you would’ve come to talk instead of fight? You really think that would’ve worked?”
“Maybe-“
“I told you,” Jason’s grip on the batarang tightened, “I don’t need your fucking pity.”
“And you don’t have it,” Tim snapped back. Too angry. This angle was quickly slipping away from him. Shit. “You’re a psychopathic killer and I don’t know if you can ever been redeemed after what you’ve done. But I would’ve tried out of love, not pity, you sanctimonious asshole.”
Jason stuttered. He leaned back and breathed hard. Tim really wished he wasn’t wearing that stupid mask. “You said it wasn’t love.”
Tim took in a deep breath, and let himself fall over the ledge he’d been trying so hard to cling to since Jason pinned him. “I lied.”
For a moment, Tim was convinced he’d just sealed his own coffin. Whatever Jason’s feelings were, it didn’t seem like they were any particular deterrent to hurting Tim. He was inches away from killing Tim and leaving his body for someone else to find.
If they found Tim’s body at all.
But instead. Instead, Jason reached up and ripped the metal part of his mask off, tossing it aside to skitter off into the darkness.
And he kissed Tim.
Tim let out the breath he was holding against Jason’s mouth. And in turn, Jason breathed him in, greedy with his kiss. The batarang was kept firm against Tim’s throat, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.
Jason was kissing him.
There was still the logical side of him screaming just how bad of an idea this was. All the reasons he could think of to not tangle with Jason were running circles across his mind.
Tim ignored them and kissed Jason back.
Jason tasted like metal and he smelled like gunpowder. Both of those things made sense and made Tim want more. He wanted every single part of Jason he could drink up, even from a single kiss. Jason’s tongue was in his mouth, licking and opening Tim up. They shared each other’s blood through the kiss, until Tim couldn’t tell whose was whose.
The kiss was broken by Jason just as suddenly as it was started. Jason pulled back and raised the batarang. Panic flashed through Tim and he instinctively threw his hands up to cover his face and neck.
The batarang slashed through Tim’s suit though, thankfully not giving him what might’ve been the stupidest death in the history of vigilantism. Jason didn’t seem to care about making sure the cut didn’t get Tim’s skin, though. Shallow wounds sprang across Tim’s skin and he hissed, watching Jason turn the suit to ribbons. The batarang was then tossed aside so Jason could rip off the suit as he leaned back.
The bat symbol on Tim’s chest stayed in tact, but everything below it was ripped away, exposing him from his abs down to his thighs. Jason knew exactly how to unclip the utility belt and throw that aside, with the shreds of fabric.
Cold air hit Tim’s most private areas. He wanted to cover himself, but he couldn’t get his hands to obey. His entire body was paralyzed under Jason’s gaze.
“Take off your mask,” Tim found his voice, rough and not sounding like himself.
Jason wore a cruel smirk. “No.” He did take off his gloves, though. Tim didn’t hide his sigh of relief. He didn’t want those claws on his skin. He was bleeding enough as it was.
The moment Jason’s hands were bare, he ran them over Tim’s skin. Tim hissed and flinched, but didn’t pull away. He let Jason’s warm hands claim his skin. Jason wasn’t kind or gentle. He smeared Tim’s blood around, exploring every bare inch. Tim’s stomach, his hips, his back, his legs.
Jason curled a hand around Tim’s dick and Tim’s back arched.
To be fair, this wasn’t exactly how he’d pictured sleeping with Jason. Still, he couldn’t find it in him to complain.
Jason jerked Tim off rough and fast. The blood on his hand was slick enough to make a smooth glide over the callouses of his palm. Tim groaned, eyes fluttering shut. He bucked into Jason’s hand. As much pain as his body was in, the pleasure was too distracting for him to care. Tim choked on every breath he managed to take in, unable to stop himself from crying out and whining.
His body was screaming at him because of what Jason had done to him. And now, he was letting himself fall apart to Jason’s hands in a different way.
“If Grayson found us, he’d think I was fucking torturing you from all the pathetic noises you’re making,” Jason growled. He barely sounded human. He slid his other hand up Tim’s chest and grabbed Tim’s face, stroking his cheek.
Tim groaned at the thought. He forced his eyes to open just so he could look at Jason. He really wished Jason would take the cowl off. Tim wanted to see Jason’s face more than anything.
“Don’t bring him up,” Tim gasped, practically humping Jason’s hand for more delirious pleasure. “I don’t want to think about him now.”
At least he could see Jason’s smirk. “Why? Because you know he’d disapprove?”
“Because I want to think about you.” Tim tried to grab at Jason’s suit to pull it off. His hands were clumsy and shaky though, probably from blood loss. All he could do was uselessly press them against Jason’s chest and feel the warmth through layers of armor.
“Fuck,” Jason groaned. His whole body shuddered, affected by Tim’s words alone. Jason stopped jerking Tim off so he could unclip his belt. He kept his other hand against Tim’s face though. Stroking it. “Least I know why you broke me out of prison, now.”
Tim made an aghast noise. “This is not why I broke you out of prison.”
Jason leaned in close, resting his face against Tim’s. “You still broke me out. So all my blood is on your hands too, Tim.” He pressed a kiss against Tim’s temple. “Bruce wouldn’t have been stupid enough to do that. Hell of a Batman you make.” It was like he had crawled into Tim’s brain just to voice all the awful little thoughts that Tim tried to bury.
“You-“ Tim tried to snap back, but he was distracted by the sound of Jason undoing a clasp, then a zipper. Tim looked down and watched, breath caught in his throat, as Jason pulled his cock out of his pants.
He was already hard.
Jason’s hand smeared blood across his member. Tim swallowed at the sight. Jason had pushed his pants down just enough to expose a sliver of pale skin. He had a sharp v-line and toned muscles just from the bit Tim could see. An embarrassing noise came out of Tim’s throat.
“Pathetic,” Jason said, but he groaned on the word, working his hand over himself. It was filthy. Both of them, covered in blood, and Jason jerking off on top of Tim.
Tim wrapped an arm around Jason. He wanted to sink his fingers into Jason’s hair, but he settled for wrapping them around the back of Jason’s cowl. Tim seriously considered trying to pull the cowl off himself, but he doubted Jason would take kindly to it.
The noises Jason made as he pleasured himself were beautiful. Tim’s sounds were animalistic and, in Jason’s own words, pathetic. Barely human sounding. But Jason. Jason sounded practically divine, low and smooth as he moaned in Tim’s ear.
“Please,” Tim gasped. He wasn’t sure what he was asking for.
“That desperate?” Jason downright purred.
Tim didn’t hold himself back from nodding. He swallowed down his dignity.
If he had any dignity left.
“I’m not going to be gentle,” Jason warned. Like he was giving Tim one last chance to back out.
Tim just laughed. “If you think I want you to be gentle, you really don’t know a thing about me.”
A guttural groan came out of Jason. He pulled back and lifted one of Tim’s legs, bending it as far back as he could. Tim wasn’t quite as flexible as Dick was, but Jason got pretty far before Tim’s muscles protested and he winced.
“Of course you shave down there,” Jason commented. He slid a hand over Tim’s smooth skin around his cock and balls.
“I don’t like pubes getting caught in my suit,” Tim huffed, trying not to let his cheeks go red.
“Don’t worry,” Jason hummed, “I think it’s cute. Makes you look like a fucking virgin.”
“I’m not.” Like it mattered.
Jason paused, just staring at Tim. Was he disappointed? It was hard to tell. “I’m going to ruin you for anyone else, so it doesn’t matter either way.” Whether or not he was disappointed was masked with a rough, possessive anger that made Tim gasp.
Rough fingers ran over the shallow cuts on Tim’s stomach and he hissed at the sudden sharp pain. It wasn’t easy to ignore the dull throbbing when Jason was practically fingering the open wounds. Tim almost asked what the hell he was doing, before he realized Jason was smearing blood across his fingers, getting them slick and coated.
“Seriously? You’re going to use my own blood to fuck me?” Tim asked, like just the thought of it wasn’t making him spread his legs wider. Still, the idea of cleaning tacky blood out of himself did make Tim internally cringe.
“You got a better idea?” Jason shot back.
“I think there’s lube in-“
“No.” Jason cut him off, pressing harder into the cuts just to make Tim wince. “We’re doing it my way, or I just leave you in a pool of your own blood with a hard-on.”
“Okay.” Tim caved instantly with a hushed whisper at the rough dominance.
It was so easy, for Jason to take complete control of Tim. He was putty in Jason’s hands, content to be manipulated however Jason wanted, so long as Tim got his own pleasure out of it. If Jason wanted Tim to bleed, he would bleed. If he wanted Tim to be spread open and ready to be fucked, then Tim would give him that too.
Christ. He needed to be checked out mentally after this.
Jason gave Tim a pleased hum, probably the closest thing to praise Tim was going to get out of him. He’d take it. Blood slick fingers pressed against Tim’s hole. Two fingers were forced in at once, hard and fast.
Tim screamed.
He didn’t expect Jason to be gentle, but it seemed like Jason was going out of his way to be rough. Scrapping his nails against Tim’s insides and brutally twisting his fingers around. He didn’t try to hit Tim’s prostate to bring any kind of pleasure. The brushes of his fingers over that spot were more painful than pleasurably, if anything. Fast and rough, giving Tim no chance to soak up the sparks of sensation from the bundle of nerves.
“Oh god,” Tim groaned, throwing his head back. His hips twitched violently, like they weren’t sure to press into Jason’s fingers for more, or to try to pull away from the horrible assault.
It’d been a while since Tim had been in this much pain. So battered from a fight that every movement of his body was weak and shaky. He grabbed onto Jason’s arm, desperate for an anchor. He couldn’t have pulled Jason off of him, even if he wanted to.
He didn’t, though. Tim wanted this to last as long as it possibly could.
He never got to drown himself in the pain. Pain was something that had to be compartmentalized and ignored, for the sake of the mission. Getting back on his feet and ignoring the way his body screamed at him was one of the first things Bruce taught him.
Now, Tim didn’t have to fight it. He could just give in. The half-hearted instincts from his body trying to fight back were ignored by Jason. Like Jason knew that Tim wanted this.
Needed this.
At some point, Jason must’ve worked a third finger inside of Tim. He didn’t notice. The burning stretch swirled with every other point of pain on his body.
He did noticed when Jason finally decided to purposefully press against Tim’s prostate.
This pleasure was new. Foreign and overstimulating with how aggressively Jason pressed down on the spot, rubbing into it to pull all kinds of noises out of Tim he didn’t know he was capable of making.
“Jason!” Tim cried out. “Fuck, too much, I can’t-“ Tim’s stomach was cramping from how hard his muscles clenched. He was falling, losing his grip on sensible reality. His head was full of cotton, foggy and unable to get a solid grip on coherent thought.
There were only three things that existed to Tim: pain, pleasure, and Jason.
“You can’t what? Use your fucking words,” Jason mocked, vicious and uncaring. He rested Tim’s leg over his shoulder to free up his other hand. His fingers wrapped around Tim’s balls and tugged. Tim screamed and arched like a jack knife. He hadn’t noticed how close his orgasm was creeping up on him until Jason pulled it away with a brutal, carnal pain. When Tim lost control of his body, Jason found it and snatched it up, holding Tim’s pleasure in his palm. Tim wanted to curl in on himself, but he couldn’t force his limbs to obey.
“Hurts,” was all Tim could groan out. He might’ve been crying. It was hard to tell, with his face so wet with blood.
“Good.”
“Jason,” Tim tried to beg. He was lost to subspace, something he barely realized until now. “I can’t take anymore.” He wanted more. More than want, god, he needed more, but his body was wired so tight Tim was convinced he was going to snap if Jason kept going.
He wanted that too.
“That’s not for you to decide.” Jason’s rough voice was a light at the end of a tunnel Tim was struggling toward to ground himself. To focus on something besides the agony crashing over his body in brutal waves. “Do you really think you’re in the fucking state to know what you can take?”
Jason was right. Tim just whined, a noise that turned into a choked sob when Jason pulled his fingers out just enough to slam them into Tim’s sweet spot again, overwhelming him with more awful pleasure.
“Give yourself over to me,” Jason demanded. He leaned in close again. Tim’s vision was blurred, but he could smell the gunpowder and leather. “Say it. Say I own you.”
Tim wanted to. He tried, opening his mouth and struggling to get the words out. He could only make more pathetic noises.
“Say it, or I’ll stab you and leave you to fucking bleed out.”
He probably wasn’t lying.
“You-“ Tim choked on the word, shaking so hard his muscles were spasming. “You own me.” Three little words, and they were the hardest words Tim had ever tried to say. Each one fought against him, getting stuck in his throat.
But he said them. Because right now, they were the only religion Tim believed in.
“Look at that,” Jason cooed. So patronizing. “You’re not completely brainless and worthless. Yet, anyway.” He pulled his fingers out of Tim. One second those fingers had been driving Tim mad because they were inside of him, and now they were driving him mad because they left him empty and wanting.
His body needed more. More pain, more pleasure. Until he broke and Jason fucked the shattered pieces left of Tim.
Jason got a hand underneath Tim, using the blood from the gash on Tim’s back to slick his fingers this time. That gash was far deeper. Something that probably needed stitches. It had started trying to clot but Jason agitated it enough for fresh blood to pour out. He was able to actually work his fingers under Tim’s bloody skin, making Tim shriek and try to pull away.
There was nowhere for him to escape from the mind-numbing pain. When he pulled away, he just crashed into Jason’s chest, forehead bumping against the bat symbol of Jason’s suit.
“So fucking easy to push your buttons,” Jason laughed. He moved his fingers around a bit more just to make his point and pull more wounded noises out of Tim. Then he finally pulled them free and let Tim fall back to the hard ground. It knocked the wind out of Tim.
He didn’t have a chance to try to get air into his lungs. Because Jason slicked himself up with a disturbing speed and lined up. The warning of blunt pressure against Tim’s hole lasted a fraction of a second and then Jason snapped his hips. Buried to the hilt.
Tim almost passed out.
He didn’t know if it was from the pain, the blood loss, or his body’s inability to get oxygen into his lungs. Everything exploded inside of Tim. He was full, so full so fast. Jason’s fingers hadn’t been nearly kind enough to properly stretch Tim for Jason’s size. It almost felt like being stabbed.
Over and over, as Jason fucked into Tim with no kindness.
A hard slap across Tim’s face forced him off of the edge of unconsciousness. He gasped, eyes snapping open to find Jason’s face right above his, the glowing eyes of the mask taking over Tim’s field of vision.
Jason was smiling. Blood on his teeth, dripping out of his mouth. Was it his blood or Tim’s?
Tim hoped it was both.
“I don’t know which Bruce would find more pathetic,” Jason groaned as he fucked into Tim, pulling small screams out of Tim with each punch of his cock, “you putting on that suit, or you letting me fuck you in it.” He brought his lips to Tim’s ear. “Who’s ruining his legacy now?”
If the physical pain wasn’t bad enough, Jason knew exactly how to rip open the wounds of Tim’s emotional pain alongside it. Tim cried out at the thought.
What would Bruce think of him, like this? Pathetic and barely human underneath Jason Todd?
“And they call me the failed Robin,” Jason just kept talking, like he wasn’t destroying Tim from the inside out. “At least I know how to be something other than Robin. Are you really delusional enough to think you’re going to be the next Batman?” A long moan came out of him and he thrust even harder until Tim screamed loud enough to make himself dizzy. “Answer me.”
Tim just shook his head. “No.” His voice was broken. His throat was sore from screaming, but the word still came out. He’d never thought he really could be Batman. So what the hell was he thinking, putting this suit on?
“Good.” Jason slid his fingers under the bat symbol on Tim’s chest, one of the only parts of the suit in tact. He ripped it off, the fabric tearing loudly in Tim’s ears. “It’s good you know your fucking place.” Jason changed his angle, finding Tim’s battered prostate again. Tim didn’t have the air in his lungs to scream anymore. All he could do was weakly mewl and whimper.
He could die like this. He honestly might. Tim had no idea how his body was holding on, in this state. Maybe it was the pain and pleasure alone keeping him alive. Just so he could soak up every touch from Jason.
Tim was never going to allow himself to do this again. So he had to enjoy it while it lasted.
This time, Tim felt his orgasm creeping up on him. His fingers dug into Jason’s arm and he pressed up into Jason’s warmth. The material of Jason’s suit was rough and unforgiving. It didn’t feel particularly good for Tim to grind his cock against, but he didn’t care. He needed any kind of friction, whether it brought him pleasure or road rash.
“I won’t stop if you come,” Jason warned, still hammering into Tim at a pace that should’ve been impossible for a normal human to manage. “This isn’t to make you feel good. It’s to put you in your fucking place.”
Tim could only whine, managing a nod of understanding. This was his place. He knew that. He never wanted to leave it.
The threat of being fucked into overstimulation hung over Tim’s head, but he couldn’t stop himself from chasing the high of his orgasm. He almost wanted to feel the overstimulation. Like his orgasm was just something to get over with so Tim could completely give himself over to Jason. To be used just for Jason’s pleasure, even if it brought him nothing but more pain.
That thought made Tim’s balls tighten. The only warning he could give Jason was a high pitched keen that barely sounded like Tim’s own voice. His eyes rolled back.
The pleasure of his orgasm didn’t overtake the screaming pain in the rest of his body. It just mixed with the pain, swirling into one intense feeling Tim didn’t have a name for. He screamed until his throat gave out. His back arched and he clenched around Jason, who kept driving into him. Jason growled in Tim’s ear. He was holding Tim’s hip so tight there would be bruises that would end up indistinguishable from the rest of Tim’s injuries.
All injuries that Jason gave Tim. Tim’s body was a canvass, and Jason’s favorite color to paint with was the red that poured out of Tim.
It was the best orgasm Tim had ever felt. No feeling was ever going to match this intensity.
Tim came down from his high with an awful wheeze, shuddering. He clung to Jason, like a guard dog laying at the feet of his master.
“Fuck,” Jason moaned. A shudder ran down his spine and his pace faltered, just for a moment. “You’re really something else, Drake.” From Jason, that was practically a compliment for Tim to soak up and preen under.
Tim’s body tipped over the edge of overstimulation. His survival instincts kicked in, trying to fight Jason. There was no strength behind his kicks and hits. They just made Jason laugh as Tim made a fool of himself.
“I own you,” Jason reminded Tim. He caught Tim’s wrist and pinned it against the cold concrete, squeezing tight enough to cut off circulation to Tim’s fingers. “I can do whatever I want to your useless body. Don’t try to fight it now.” He leaned down and found an exposed part of Tim’s neck to sink his teeth into. It wasn’t a hickey, but a proper bite, breaking Tim’s skin.
Tim cried out, but still tilted his head to the side to give Jason better access to his neck. Even when his body wanted to fight, Tim managed to submit. Like the submission was natural to him.
The pain took over. Tim just floated in it, forcing himself to go limp. Submit. No more fighting. He gave in to Jason and stopping thinking. All Tim needed to do was feel. Feel every point of agony scattered across his body. Feel Jason fucking him. Using him, like Tim was nothing more than a toy. The sparks from Jason slamming into his sweet spot couldn’t be called pleasure anymore, with Tim’s cock spent and limp. It was more pain.
Better that way. Tim liked the pain more. Delicious and mind-numbing.
Jason was swearing against Tim’s skin. He mumbled something Tim didn’t catch. Three syllables. Short and rushed out. Tim was almost convinced the second word was love. Maybe he was making it up in his head though, finally lost in utter delirium.
Tim didn’t care.
More insults fell from Jason’s lips. Calling Tim nothing, worthless, pathetic. A cheap pretender who deserved this. Tim agreed with all of it, feverishly nodding. The words were practically sweet nothings in Tim’s ears.
Jason yelled Tim’s name when he came. His hips stuttered to a stop, buried deep inside of Tim. He knew Jason was coming inside of him, but his body was too battered to feel Jason’s cum filling his insides. Shame that was. Tim wanted to know how it felt, to be claimed by Jason in this carnal way.
They were both so perfectly still, for two people who had been shaking and clawing at each other just moments ago. The only noise was heavy breathing that echoed through the night.
Tim swallowed. He tried to find himself through the pain. He worked through the body checklist that Bruce gave him. Vision. Smell. Taste. Feel. Sound. All the sensations clashed against each other, out of focus and pounding against Tim’s skull.
It was so hard to think.
Tim groaned. Focus.
Like cold water thrown on his face, he clawed his way out of subspace. Tim got a good look at Jason’s face.
“Are you crying?” Tim voiced the thought as soon as it crossed his mind.
With the mask, it was hard to tell. Jason’s breathing was shuddered, hitching on every inhale. Tim wouldn’t call it sobbing, but it was close enough for Tim to study Jason’s face. The wetness coming out from under Jason’s mask wasn’t red. It streaked through the blood.
Tear tracks.
Jason’s completely rational response was to punch Tim in the face.
Tim swore and curled in on himself, cupping his nose. If it wasn’t broken before, it was now. Jason pulled out of Tim without any care and stood up, leaving him curled up on the ground, trying to set the broken bone and manage the bleeding.
Tim tried to sit up. His arms and legs gave out under him and he slammed back to the ground with a pained noise. He looked up at Jason, squinting. Watching as Jason tucked himself back into his pants, then snatched his gloves off the ground to put them back on.
Despite clearly losing the fight, Tim had done a number on Jason. Jason’s face was bloody and his suit was ripped and torn in some places. He looked like he had been mauled by a wild animal.
If that was how Jason looked, Tim couldn’t imagine what the sight of his own body was.
His second attempt to sit up worked. Now, he compartmentalized. Forced the pain deep into the corners of his mind and locked it up.
Tim had to be functional now. He couldn’t let the regret and shame get to him.
“I-“ Jason started to say something. It was only one word, but it sounded uncharacteristically soft, making Tim straighten his back and hold his breath. But Jason cleared his throat and folded his arms, stamping down whatever kindness had almost come out. “I’ll throw you a bone. If any of the Bats find you like this you can just tell them I raped you,” he said it like some kind of mean joke.
Tim didn’t say anything. That wasn’t true. They both knew it.
“Preserve your precious dignity you care so much about, huh?” Jason continued. He sounded unsure of himself and he turned away from Tim.
“Jason-“ Tim reached out for him. “We can still-“ he struggled for the words. “It doesn’t have to end like this. You can still change. I’ll-“
“Don’t,” Jason snapped. He kicked away Tim’s hand. “We both know it’s too late for that.” He started to walk away. “Never wear that suit again, Drake. I’d hate to see you die to someone that isn’t me.” He almost sounded… protective? Tim wouldn’t call it fondness, but maybe something close to that. Tim refused to allow himself to read into it. Whoever Jason Todd had become, he was someone that Tim couldn’t save. He was someone who didn’t want to be saved, no matter how Tim felt about him. Tim had to accept that, even with Jason’s cum deep inside him. Some truths were immutable.
Then, Jason was gone. Vanishing into the shadows and leaving Tim there.
Tim tilted his head back. He allowed himself thirty seconds. He counted them. Thirty seconds to sit in his own filth and feel the pain for just a little longer, before he had to move and figure out how he was going to get home in one piece without anyone finding out what happened here.
Just ten more seconds.
Five.
Three.
One.
With grit teeth and a deep breath, Tim stood up.
#necrotic writings#jaytim#tim drake x jason todd#jason todd x tim drake#timjay#dead dove do not eat#battle for the cowl#cross posted on ao3#batcest#sorry this sat in my inbox for a couple days anon#i was like 'hehe i'll write a lil pwp for this'#and it ended up over 6k words. god help me.#this is proof that if you send an idea to my inbox there is a good chance i will just write you a fic.#you might have to wait a couple days but i will come for you with food and chaos.#anyway this is a smidge dark as a fic fair warning#bc idk how else to write them fucking during bftc 2#masochist tim drake you will always be famous to me#once again wasn't gonna put this one on ao3 bc i felt it was gonna be too short for that effort#then it goes and ends up this long.#my partner always laughs at me when i do this. bc i keep doing it.#pls enjoy <3 i wrote most of this while in a lot of pain so#me and tim were twinning there.#while posting this my roommate's kitten used me as a jungle gym. she's my editor in chief.
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youtube
Seong Gi-hun | Luck Runs Out (Epic: The Musical)
(Spoilers for Squid Game Season 2)
"Don't forget how dangerous the gods are."
"Have faith, friend, we've come this far."
#seong gi hun#seong gi-hun#squid game#squid game 2#squid game season 2#seong gihun#squid game spoilers#i already wrote a lot of feelings in the youtube description but#I HAVE NOT KNOWN PEACE#SINCE I CONNECTED THE SONG TO GI-HUN#it is so!!! FITTING IN SO MANY WAYS#for his season 2 arc especially!!!#angering the gods!!! luck running out!!! believing in kindness!!#it's all THERE#and included in-ho both as a worried 'how much longer til your luck runs out' AND as an antagonistic one#bc i feel like it sets the tone in different ways#and he is doing both this season#as young-il vs front-man#also last vid i did was popular song+popular pairing#i realise i mightve gone for a niché topic here#if theres anyone else simultaneously in brainrot for epic and squid game this is for you#(a.k.a this is for me)#even tho this song is good i feel like you can absolutely follow along to this even if you havent listened to epic#Youtube#myvids#mystuff#(also a part of me wanted to include more sang-woo bc i love him and i think his also so relevant to this arc)#(bUT it didnt work. ill have to make something for him and gi-hun at a later date)
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also whether or not God has called me to teach high school, I do WISH that that were my calling because it would make everything easier. Well. Not easier. Just simpler.
#teaching runs in the family. i love the students so much it makes me cry. teaching english seems like a good time and i do love literature.#but surely a career counsellor wouldn't tell you to stay away from something lightly!#in any case i do CARE a lot about the kids' growth and wellbeing i just don't know if teaching them is necessarily what God wants me to do#with that love and interest#but it sure as heck would clear things up if He put a giant whiteboard up somewhere and wrote SONGBIRD GO TEACH!!!!#in gigantic letters on it.
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Susceptible - Jack Delroy/Reader
Warnings: Fully clothed grinding, very slight dirty talk, very light exhibitionism in a sense, no use of Y/N, female-hinted reader because of skirt/makeup mentions but other than that there's no real gender mention.
Wordcount: 4950
Summary: You spent a small fortune getting a ticket to Carmichael Haig's show on the promise of his new act showing his audience something the world has never seen before, as well as the possible attendance of one Jack Delroy, but will two hours of bullshit be worth the risk?
Notes: There is SO MUCH BUILDUP I'm so sorry I'm so weak for worldbuilding and plot I swear the other one I have planned will be shorter OTL I have never written a reader before but I am a huge fan of them, especially the DDverse ones I've been binging oop, so I hope this is a good first attempt! It's been a few years since I've written anything like this and probably a good decade or so since I last posted anything, so here's hoping I post more in the upcoming future~ This is also completely unbetaed so if you see any mistakes please let me know <3 The Manhattan Center is also real but didn't fit my needs entirely so I mashed it together with the theatre I went to as a kid lol
~~~~~~~~~~
Carmichael Haig was back in town and you had no idea why you were here.
He had left for what felt like both forever and not nearly long enough for a few months to do his tour, seeing his smug face everywhere you looked between both digital and paper news and making your distaste grow a little more each time. You had been fond of his trickery for a time, but his move from magic man to skeptic had sucked all the fun out of the act, his determination to not only find the real but humiliate the fakes way past annoying to straight up sickening to you by this point. Tonight’s show proved to be another big presentation of the latter you’d decided when it’d been announced officially, promoted by your favourite talk show host - and current celebrity crush - Jack Delroy; his smile was wide for the cameras but it didn’t reach his eyes, you could always tell between them by now and he did not seem to be as pleased as the two talked about it that night.
‘I’m going to show the world something they’ve never seen before,’ Carmichael had said, his usual smug look in place as he hammed it up for the cameras like he could really pull that off, Jack running with it like the patron saint of patience he had to be.
‘Big talk, you sure I can’t convince you to give our wonderful audience a taste tonight?’ he asked, the crowd cheering at the mere thought of getting to experience his new act an entire month early, but if there was even an iota of temptation within him to share he hid it perfectly. He waved the offer away to everyone’s disappointment, Jack pouting on everyone’s behalf and putting those big eyes on display as his own plea; the ratings, you imagined, would be wonderful for a segment like this when his show was already starting to slip down the line, but even that was no use.
‘You’ll all get a chance to see it on the 13th,’ he promised them as he turned to face the audience, the place and date scrolling across the bottom of the screen yet again, they’d been flashing it every single time it was mentioned to the point where you were sure you’d see it in your sleep tonight, rolling across the bottom half of your dream. ‘Or, those of you who’ve been able to get your tickets will, we’re selling out fast,’ he smirked with a tip of his glass, yet another thing that’d been brought up and hammered home; you’d gone to the Manhattan Center to check a couple days ago, just out of curiosity, the ticket price absolutely ridiculous to the point that you were convinced they’d never sell out, but now you guessed your distaste of him wasn’t as widespread as you’d secretly hoped.
Jack slapped his leg in mock disappointment, Carmichael looking back to him at the sound. ‘Guess you’ll have to tell me all about it the next time you’re back in town, I had asked Gus to pick one up for me but it seems he missed that call,’ he joked, Gus’ surprise at the blame of his absence being placed on him getting a big laugh as his face fell and he tried to explain himself.
Carmichael placed an understanding hand on Jack’s shoulder and leaned in closer, the other man leaning in in return as if to receive some kind of secret. ‘Well then, it’s a good thing my date canceled on me,’ he retorted, and when he pulled his hand back he revealed a ticket, Jack’s eyes going wide as he accepted the gift with a big smile, pointing to it before shaking Carmichael’s hand with a thanks.
Ah, so that was why you were here again.
You knew you’d never be able to get a seat on Night Owls because the thought of Jack seeing you in the crowd made you blush all the way to your shoulders, even on your bravest of nights you hadn’t been able to even call and see if there were any tickets left, but to maybe share an audience with him? To sit in the same room as him where you could steal glances if you were able to find him, with no risk whatsoever of him catching the way your eyes lit up when you looked at that handsome face, that dangerously attractive body? That was doable.
It had cost an arm and a leg to convince that scalper to hand over one of the tickets he was parading around outside the Center, but it was worth it as you stepped inside, your heart racing because, unless he wanted to risk the aftermath of Carmichael calling him out for not going, he was here; somewhere in this building was the man you’d been dreaming about since his debut a few years ago, the one you watched nearly every night without fail just for that hour where he looked at you, talked to you, noticed you even if it was through a camera, and that was all you’d needed until tonight.
You’d gotten a pretty shitty seat despite the price but you didn’t mind, it actually worked out for you considering you weren’t actually there to see the show but to look for someone in the seats in front of you, and you hoped that you’d be able to spot him from where you were in the far back corner. As long as he wasn’t, say, the exact opposite of you then you probably stood a chance of at least a glance, since his ticket came from Carmichael himself you guessed that it was probably close to the front if not front row center just to mess with him and prove that he’d come, and you felt all the hair rise on your arms and neck when Carmichael walked on stage early to very loudly greet someone who’d just walked in.
There he was, leaving his seat to meet the other man in the middle, and he was so much further than you expected but it was still him, big smile in place, hair perfectly combed, his crisp suit being wrinkled by Carmichael’s hands as he gave him a showy hug, and he was beautiful. You froze in the middle of the row, unable to finish the walk as your eyes stayed on him, the people trying to get by you not as starstruck as they attempted to squeeze past when you ignored their presence.
‘Sorry,’ you murmured as you sat as fast as you could, eyes still trained on him as he waved to the crowd to prove that yes, he did honour the gift and was there to see this big new act he’d been promised. You let out an embarrassingly needy whine when he sat back down and you became unable to see him again, the mass of bodies behind him obscuring all but a sliver of the back of his head from this angle, and you’d be damned if you had to spend the next 2 hours stuck like this at a Carmichael Haig show of all things. The person at the end of the row finally arrived and you made your move, hurrying down and taking one last glance before getting ready to make this whole thing a little more bearable. ‘Excuse me,’ you nearly stuttered as the person, a man older than yourself who definitely gave off the air of being a Carmichael fan, looked up at you, ‘would you want to trade seats with me? I was really looking forward to the show but I was too late to grab an aisle seat.’
It’s a blatant lie but the quick glance from before proved that you could see him better from there, and the chance of getting to look at him for the next two hours was worth the look the man gave you at the request.
‘Which one are you?’ he asked, looking down to the few empty spaces still waiting for their owners, and you pulled out your ticket to double check, seeing that it was R51; wow, you didn’t realize how far away R was from A until you saw it firsthand. He looked back down to your seat and considered it, looking you over midthought when he thought you weren’t looking, and he almost got away with it if not for the fact that you felt his eyes on you. ‘$100,’ he decided, the offer knocking the wind right out of you.
‘What? The seat was already $350,’ you choke, giving away the fact that you were really, really late to the party.
‘Take it or leave it, I had the sense to order on time,’ is all he says to that, and you looked back at your possible view before sighing heavily and reaching for your wallet; goddamnit, Jack, if only he knew how worth it he was. You hand over the money and step aside, the man pocketing his fee and leaving the seat for you as promised, and the view is just barely better but there he is again, perfectly in view due to what can only be a miracle, the hole in your wallet feeling a little less big as you watched him turn his head to talk to someone, giving you a perfect side view.
He really was handsome, captivating even from this distance, and you swoon a little as the audience finished filling out, the lights dimming and obscuring your view a little more save the grace of the stage lights that illuminate him from the front as Carmichael walked back out on stage and started the show. You’d never been one for spacing out but you couldn’t take your eyes off him, the $450 price tag of this shitty aisle seat all for him and not feeling so bad even as Carmichael charms everyone around you. He didn’t look to the side that often, you guessed he didn’t actually know his neighbour since the seat was a gift, but the times that he did, where he laughed or sighed at the theatrics or even put his face in his hand because he wasn’t having too much fun, were all cataloged away in your head forever, the perfect souvenirs to last you a lifetime of home viewing after this.
At about an hour in according to your old watch, Jack looked about ready to get up and find any reason to leave, which you couldn’t blame him for, the acts themselves were pretty damn good you realized in the times you actually paid attention, but it was getting so tiring to see Carmichael explain away all of their tricks, to see the joy leave their faces at being called a fraud or having all their mysteries revealed, and it was clear Jack felt the same down in row A. After a particularly rough walk-off from a woman who was trying very desperately to convince Carmichael that she could really read his mind and ending up with the humiliating reality that everything he answered to was false to get her to out herself, you noticed that when you looked back to his seat that Jack isn’t there, and you were in the middle of wondering where he went when the person coming up the aisle came into view so suddenly that it took your breath away.
It was Jack, his brow twitching slightly to keep a neutral face, his footsteps heavy as he tried not to stomp and draw attention to the fact that that last one really pissed him off, his hands already reaching into his suit pocket for something. You tried not to stare the closer he got but it was hard, years of being able to look all you want training your brain to look look look as he approached, and you forced yourself to stare straight ahead at the stage as he reached you. Your hands were clenched tight in your lap as he went to pass row R, and you were in the middle of thinking you were going to make it when he fumbled the small box in his pocket and dropped it with a low curse, the cigarettes he apparently smoked bouncing to the side and coming to a stop between your recently shined shoes.
Your head snapped down so fast you felt it in your neck as he came to a stop beside you, the two of you locating the box at the same time, and you stiffened as he reached for it before realizing how rude that would be despite his own sour mood. ‘I’m sorry, could I bother you for a second,’ he asked, his smile back in place despite being a bit tense, and you stuttered out a confirmation as you leaned down to pick them up.
‘I didn’t know you smoked,’ you blurted out before you could stop yourself, Jack’s hand frozen in midair as he reached for the box, his smile relaxing a little as he looked from your hand to your face.
‘Did I find myself a Night Owl in this sea of skeptics?’ he wondered aloud, your cheeks brightening in a way that really made you pray it was dark enough not to notice.
‘I wanted to see what all the fuss was about,’ you lie, and he crouched down so he could hear your whispers as the crowd reacted to the next act.
‘I take it you’re also not very impressed,’ he figured, hitting the nail on the head based on your expression alone. He chuckled at your silent confirmation and looked back down to the cigarettes, his fingertips just barely touching yours as you both held it, you didn’t even know when he’d grabbed it and you let go before it got awkward, but he didn’t seem to notice. ‘Well, if you don’t tell my producer that I’m smoking again, then I won’t tell Haig that you didn’t like his show, deal?’
You sucked in a breath as he moved the box to his left hand, offering up his right for a handshake this time to seal the deal, your heart pounding as you shook on it, his smile more genuine than you’d seen all night, you could always tell. He stood back up as the act finished and Carmichael went back to his disproving, his mood dropping again as his need to escape rearose. You both offered a look of disdain at the stage before he stood back up to move again, something stopping him midstep before he turned on his heel and leaned back down to you, a shiver running down your spine at how close he was so he could be heard.
‘Have you ever been to one of my shows?’ he asked, genuine curiosity in his voice, his warm breath accidentally hitting your neck and rendering you unable to do anything but glance at him and shake your head no. ‘You’d have a much better time, I’ve got some great stuff coming up,’ he pitched, either completely unaware of your predicament or just used to people acting like this around him, either way he didn’t react when your eyes couldn’t help but flicker down to watch him lick his lips so fast you almost missed it. ‘The next one’s already booked up but if you go down to the studio and give them this card, you should be able to get a spot for a night you’re free, I'd like to see you there.’
He pulled out his wallet and grabbed a business card, flipping it around to the blank side on the back before resting it on the arm of the chair. A pen was found next, and he scribbled a quick note to the ticket seller on it on your behalf, signing it and handing it over with that big showman smile of his. You took it and placed it in your own wallet, the previous hole instantly filled with its presence, his mood clearly raised by the interaction as he wished you a quick goodbye and resumed his journey outside, oblivious to the fact that you were about to disrupt the entire theater if you didn’t find a place to scream and fast.
You gave him a few minutes to reach the doors before jumping to your feet and making for the bathroom, your heels clickclacking on the tile the entire way until you found the correct door. The place was empty, which was great because once you caught sight of yourself you knew that it was bad enough he saw you this way, no one else should get the pleasure; your face was redder than you’d ever seen it, your pupils blown from the exchange and you could’ve sworn you could actually see yourself shaking you were buzzing so hard, your grin so wide anyone else would’ve assumed that Santa had just given you the toy you’d always wanted for Christmas early.
You tried to calm yourself as you ripped off some paper towels and dampened them, patting them against your cheeks and neck to bring your body temperature back down to a normal person’s, carefully avoiding your makeup that you were thankful you spent the time putting on just on the ultra rare off chance you’d run into him. When you were ready to go back - and after a quick internal debate on whether you should try and meet him outside for another, less hushed conversation already - you made sure to calm your breathing before heading back out there, taking a quick moment to look for him before making the trek back to your seat.
When you got back you noticed that no new act was on, Carmichael already talking to the audience and projecting himself up on the screens for all to see, you rolling your eyes as you collapsed into the rich red velvet and preparing for more of his bullshit until Jack returned, if he felt like it that was. Everyone around you was concentrating on his words, staring right ahead as the theater fell silent save for his voice and the sound of a ticking clock; ah, he was trying to hypnotize everyone, that must’ve been his big final act that he’d promised his audience. You weren’t impressed, you’d tried to be hypnotized before at a party in your youth, it hadn’t worked then so it wasn’t going to work now you knew, so you sat back and prepared to at least enjoy whatever he was going to make the audience do.
Your thoughts went back to Jack as Carmichael’s voice slowly got drowned out, the ticking a bit louder in your ears despite the distance, but you didn’t mind because it was nonsense anyway, ‘Now who’s the skeptic,’ you think to yourself as you sink deeper into your chair. You vaguely heard the words, ‘Your greatest desire,’ in your ear before you felt a hand on your shoulder, your eyes leaving the stage to travel up until you saw Jack standing just behind you in the aisle, his smile from before now more like a smirk as he motioned towards the doors like he wanted you to follow him.
You looked back at the stage as Carmichael invited someone from the audience up to stand with him, some poor hypnotized fool who was bound to be humiliated along with everyone else who stood with him tonight, and you decided that you’d rather not see that again before standing and following Jack. There was a small hallway between the theater and the doors on that side of the back wall, the two of you out of view from everyone else but Carmichael’s voice still reaching, and you were about to wonder if he was leading you outside to just leave or talk when he turned and pushed you against the wall with a muffled thud. Your back met cold paint as your chest met with his, your eyes locking as he cornered you where no one could see, a confidence he saved for the cameras now focused solely on you as he looked you over the same way you’d done to him a thousand times over.
‘I couldn’t wait for you to come to my show,’ he whispered, his voice impossibly low as he held you in place, a knee parting yours and making you gasp, ‘you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.’
‘You’re just telling me what I wanna hear,’ you managed to get out, his eyes closing as he leaned in to grin against your cheek.
‘Is it working?’
You didn’t dare answer but you might as well have because your silence was enough to spur him into action, your head falling back against the wall as he started to kiss your neck, your hands grasping at anything because this was crazy. The man you’d wanted for years was kissing you not even 30ft away from a room full of people, anyone could come around the corner at any second and catch you, and you bit your lip at the thrill of it all. You’d had dreams like this before, ones that left you panting into your pillow when you awoke, but the real thing was so much better as he sucked a mark into your soft skin, your hand leaving his arm to cover your mouth lest you alert anyone within hearing distance to your current predicament.
You let him do as he pleased, let him ran his hands over your sides and down to the edge of where your lifted skirt was resting against his thigh, your legs shaking as your body tried not to grind against him; it was only due to him holding you that kept you standing as a matter of fact and he seemed fully aware of it as his nails scratched softly against your bare leg. He seemed to love all your reactions to what he did, he was in the entertainment business after all, every noise of approval that slipped through your fingers must’ve been like music to his ears but you had to hold back no matter how much you wanted to indulge him. Being denied what he wanted only made him work harder for it, the assault on your neck moving to your shoulder and collarbone instead of your covered lips, your mouth watering for just a taste as he started to move against you, one hand pulling your waist away from the wall by your lower back as the other moved up and under your skirt.
The first grind of his body against yours was decadent, you swore you could feel it in your soul the way he wanted you just as much as you’d wanted him, like he’d been watching you back through the screen for years and also craved this very moment, and now that he was getting it he wasn’t going to stop, you didn’t want him to stop. You’d never seen him act anything like this before in all his years on TV, a greedy flash of excitement running through you at getting to see such a new side of him quickly overcome by pleasure as he cupped your ass and pulled you even closer. You knew you couldn’t get undressed here, if you’d made it to the bathroom then maybe he’d be doing more but he hadn’t lasted even that long, but even with that desire being restrained you still wanted him here and now. Never in your life had you been this desperate for release but he was bringing out a demon inside of you that desired and needed and wanted so much that you were willing to throw your modesty out the fucking window for just a second of his hot skin pressed against your own, but this would have to do while the show still went on.
‘Jack…’ you moaned as your hand, moist from your panting, gripped his arm once again, Carmichael’s voice getting louder in the distance as you grew closer to your release.
‘Come home with me,’ he begged into your ear, his movements getting rougher as he also grew close, you knew you’d both have to leave before everyone saw you but it was worth it, god it was so worth it. ‘I want to have you all to myself, I need to taste you-’
You bit your lip and led his face away from your neck so you could look into his eyes, his mouth parted as he tried to control his own panting, he was coming apart at the seams for you right here in the hallway, the ticking in your ears either your heartbeat or a clock far away. You moaned his name again as you felt the heat build in your stomach, your back arching and pushing your body into him even more as the door to your right opened.
‘Dreamer, here, awake!’
All at once your knees gave out and you collapsed to the floor before that final wave could push you over the edge, your head heavy and your vision swimming as the body against yours vanished into nothing. ‘Are you okay? What happened?’ Jack’s voice from above asked as his worried expression came into view, the smell of rain and cigarette smoke invading your senses; the sound of the audience in a similar state of confusion drifted around the corner as Jack crouched down next to you, just back inside from his break from the show, the realization that you weren’t as immune to hypnosis as you’d thought hitting you like a bucket of cold water. You just panted in shock, surprise, and waning lust as Jack looked you over in concern, your hands moving to pull the bottom of your skirt down to cover your exposed legs in embarrassment, the scratches you were so certain he’d left behind not there, because he hadn’t been there.
‘I’m fine,’ you force yourself to say after you’d caught your breath, Jack believing you but still helping you to your feet like a gentleman, of course he would never act that way, that was only how you’d wanted him to act, you’d had dreams like that for god’s sake, the real Jack would never-
‘Is the show over?’ he asked as the roar of people applauding overtook the chatter, Carmichael now silent, and you avoided his eye as you started to edge towards the way out.
‘I think so.’
‘What was the big mind-blowing act?’
You put a little distance between yourself and him but he didn’t notice, Jack heading for the corner so he could look at the stage as he waited for your reply. ‘He hypnotized everyone,’ you answered curtly, his reaction big and full of surprise as he looked over the size of the crowd in an awe that wasn’t present for the first hour and a half.
‘Everyone? You should’ve come found me, I would’ve loved to see that.’ He was still looking at the room beyond, your eyes on him as he watched everyone else.
‘I got a little overwhelmed,’ you mumble, and he finally looked at you with that same concerned expression again, and it’s too much after what you’d just thought you’d seen, your eyes finding the floor.
‘What did he make you see?’ he asked, his curiosity quiet but still there under the concern, but you couldn’t answer him. ‘Do you need a ride home, or are you okay to drive?’
He’s too kind, he would never act that way, he would never say that to you.
‘I took a cab, I’ll be fine,’ you tried to say, but still you quickly found yourself being led to the front door as the audience swarmed around you, his hand on your back to make sure you stayed standing, a true gentleman. It had started raining while you were inside which explained the scent pairing with the smoke that covered up his cologne, and you just stood under the marquee as he hailed a cab for you as the sea of skeptics washed around you like rushing water. You hopped inside but he didn’t shut the door right away, leaning down in the rain once you were seated, and for a moment you wondered if he was going to get in when he spoke.
‘I do hope you come to my show, preferably Friday’s, it’s gunna be a good one, I promise,’ he said with that big genuine smile again, your heart pounding as your cheeks glowed red for a reason other than embarrassment as you gave him a small nod.
‘I’ll be there,’ you promised back, and he tapped the roof of the cab before shutting the door and letting you go. You looked out the back window as you drove away, the both of you waving as he ducked back inside and out of the rain, and as soon as you turned back around to face forward you found yourself reaching for your wallet. His card was in your hands as you looked it over, all in all it was an uninspiring, plain business card, and you flipped it over to read what he wrote for the ticketmaster on the back.
Wait for me by the back entrance at 11:00 Phil will let you in JD
Your cheeks turned red again as you put the card away, the cab driver giving you a look in the rearview mirror as you held your nearly empty wallet, now with one business card, to your thumping chest. Oh yeah, it definitely was all worth it after all.
#Ray's Readers#david dastmalchian#jack delroy#jack delroy x reader#would you believe I wrote this over a few hours listening to a dramatic cover of Dear God cause I loved the vibes lmao#completely wrong vibes but it's SUCH a good cover guys#it's pretty tame for this one but yeah full disclosure there's probably gunna be lots of hands focus in my writings#his are Beautiful and Perfect and Very Attractive and I am W E A K okay
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Insane Dad Lore (Part One) [ A Kn8 Short Story]
[Head's Up!] So this is going to hopefully be a part of a series. The plan is that I'm going to make several "Short" stories {length to be determined} That are all about this pervasive idea I have centered around the idea that Kafka went on a soul-searching journey through Germany after a series of unfortunate events. Some of this (down the road) will not line up with established canon (mainly parts pertaining to his family) and I'd just thought I would let ya'll know. I have more personal details after the fic.
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It's safe to say that having the ability to turn into a Kaiju is enough to make anyone interesting. But when that's the only thing you know about a guy, suddenly discovering anything unrelated seems to make him a lot more fascinating than before. Even more so when you've only known him for three weeks and you're starting a new job together. The first and most subtle discovery Reno and Iharu found about Kafka was during their third day as Defense Force officers. They had just finished a long day of training and had hit the bathhouse showers before bed
Reno had undressed the fastest and booked it for the shower counters so he could wash the spilled energy drink out of his hair. Between that and the sweaty sheen he had developed, he just felt all around uncomfortable. Kafka and Iharu had wrapped towels around their waists and casually trailed in some time shortly, engaged in quiet conversation. The two of them tossed their shower supplies onto the counter and pulled up their own squat plastic chair with Kafka sitting in between the two juniors. Kafka had to took twice as he saw just how hard Reno was scrubbing away at his hair.
"Hey, are you alright?" He asked.
"He's fine. Someone dropped their energy drink out of a second floor window and it hit him in the head." Iharu answered for Reno as he dug out a bottle of shampoo.
"Damn, sounds like that sucked." Kafka offered some simple platitude and he dug out an old plastic gum container filled with q-tips instead.
"I... have smelled nothing... but grape powder... all day!" Reno growled in between bouts of vigorous scrubbing.
"What, you gotta problem with grape flavor?" Kafka chuffed as he wet the tips of the q-tip.
"Have you seen my hair? I don't know if it's ever..." Reno wanted to continue his tirade about what the cursed drink did to his snow blond locks, but was cut short by the sight of Kafka bringing the q-tip to his nose.
"What are you...?" Reno began to question, only to suddenly choke down a sickening retch as he watched Kafka practically thread the q-tip through the septum in his nose.
"What was tha-AAH! WITCH DOCTOR!" Iharu shouted as he turned and was confronted with the same sight.
"What has gotten into the two of you?" Kafka interrogated as he swiveled to look at them, leaving the q-tip suspended in his nose.
"Y-y-y-your n-nose!" Reno stuttered, pointed finger quaking at the sight.
"Oh, this?" Kafka pointed to the unusual sight, "Old nose ring piercing." He didn't expand upon as he went back to sliding the cotton tipped instrument back and forth through the hole.
"YOU HAVE A NOSE RING?" Iharu shouted once he recovered from the shock.
"Had being the better term here. I had to drop the look if I was to land my job with the Monster Sweepers. They considered it a possible safety hazard." Kafka explained as he pulled the stick out and fiercely rubbed at his nose.
"Do you still have the ring?" Reno asked, morbid curiosity getting the better of him.
"Unfortunately, no." Kafka said with a heartbroken sigh, "Lost it down a mall bathroom sink."
"Then how do you still have the hole?" Iharu questioned, joining in on the perverse inquiries.
"From what I've heard, once it's fully healed you don't tend to lose 'em. Still gotta make sure there isn't anything stuck in there though." Kafka continued to answer as he started to look through the rest of his shower supplies.
"Do you have any others?" Reno quickly fired back.
"God, ya'll are just full of questions tonight." Kafka used to answer, hoping it would encourage them to find something else to talk about.
A short period of time passed before Iharu spoke back up as he noticed Kafka didn't answer the question, "Well... do you?"
Kafka sighed heavily before he answered, "I had almost twenty by the time I had to give them all up. Outside of my nose ring, I'm pretty sure most of the holes are completely closed up."
"TWENTY?" Now it was Reno's turn to shout incredulously.
"Wow, I hadn't pegged you as the metal head type." Iharu voiced openly.
"Are you kidding? I was more than a Metal Head." Kafka chuckled cryptically, "I was a Heavy Metal Head." He giggled eerily as he turned to Iharu and wiggled his fingers creepily, making him laugh.
"I'm sure you had a Heavy Head at least with all those piercings, Sir." Reno teased under his breath.
He wasn't nearly as quiet as he should have been with it since Kafka very clearly still heard him. Before Kafka could return fire, Iharu popped another question.
"So what type of piercings did you have?"
"Uhh, let's see..." Kafka said as he scratched his chin, " I had three rings in the right ear, three studs in the left, the nose ring, nose bridge cuff, a snake bite set, an eyebrow stud, dimple studs- got rid of those pretty quickly, a belly button..." Kafka trailed off, almost lost in thought before his eyes snapped open in shock.
"Uhh, yeah, I think that's the list. The whole list, nothing else." Kafka finished as a miniscule bead of sweat trailed down his temple.
Iharu's eyes flickered around in thought before they landed back on Kafka with confusion, "That's fourteen piercings."
"So? Fourteen is close to twenty." Kafka countered, still looking somewhat nervous.
"Then why not say fifteen? That's a lot more reasonable than saying close to twenty" Reno argued as he shrugged.
"Yeah. Saying Twenty to mean fourteen is a little misleading. There's a lot more numbers between fourteen and twenty than fifteen." Iharu supported his friend's argument as he drew out the problem on the mirror in front of them with a bar of soap.
"Are you sure you're not forgetting some?" Reno questioned as he squinted at his older friend suspiciously.
"So I miscalculated! You don't have to drag me over a bed of coals about it.'" Kafka threw his hands up on either side of his head as he got up from his seat to make it clear that was the end of it. The two of them watched as he walked out toward the hot bath in the other room and turned the corner.
"He doesn't miscalculate. I've seen that man do accurate inventory reports without even stepping into the storage room." Reno murmured as his eyes flickered back to Iharu.
"You don't think he had some... embarrassing ones, do you?" Iharu sneered scandalously right back.
"What piercing could be embarrassing?" Reno asked as he rinsed the shampoo from his hair.
"Nipple rings for starters." Iharu quietly chuckled out.
Hearing this, Reno visibly shivered, "You know, that's a good point. I feel better not knowing now."
"I don't." Iharu replied, "He's definitely got more than he's letting on and I wanna know the full extent." He rushed to catch up with Reno in scrubbing himself down before they could join the others in the on-site onsen. Finishing and getting up from their spots, they walked over to the other room to join the others in the massive bath.
"I'm serious, you can tell a lot about a person by what they would willingly get pierced. Like, who knows what Kafka was like in his twenties? What do you think would be the line he wouldn't draw back then?" Iharu continued to comment on the idea as he followed Reno out of the room.
"I get your point, but knowing him as he is now, I sincerely think he wouldn't have gotten anything below the belt." Reno challenged as his attention was focused on his friend.
"You'd be surprised-" Iharu replied before his head snapped forward to see the awkward spectacle before them.
On the way to the bath, it appeared that Kafka had been sidelined with an interaction with their Vice Captain. It wouldn't have been an unusual sight had it not been for the fact that for One) It had looked like Kafka's towel had fallen off of his waist and was now desperately clutching it in front of his privates, and Two) Soshiro Hoshina was caught in the compromising position that was kneeling right in front of where Kafka was death-gripping the towel. Aoi and Haruichi were standing off to the side witnessing the event. Aoi was as stone faced as ever, but Haruichi was clearly holding back the urge to burst into laughter.
"Whoa, whOA, WHOA! WHAT THE HELL?" Iharu shouted as he intruded onto the situation.
"This isn't what it looks like!" A very red-faced Kafka called out from his place against a side wall.
He had braced a hand against the painted brick wall to support himself from falling over. If anyone other than Reno had any previous knowledge as to what Kafka was hiding inside himself, they would have noticed the spidery cracks spreading out from his hand-print on the wall. A distracted Hoshina whipped his head around to view the intruders behind him.
"Oi! Reno, Iharu, did you know Comedy Relief here has a tattoo?" Hoshina declared as he jabbed his thumb at it, pivoting to the side a little to show it off better.
"I wasn't ready to talk about it just yet!" Kafka squeakily snarled through gritted teeth, not trusting himself to move.
"I don't see why not? It's a beautiful piece." Hoshina countered as he turned back to look at it some more.
"He's not going to get kicked out for that, is he?" Reno asked as he quickly moved over to where everyone was standing.
Getting closer, the two of them got a better look at what their Vice Captain was looking at. What initially looked to be an ornately decorated Oni Mask tattoo became more and more interesting the longer they looked at it. The first notable thing was the horns. Instead of being curved, they pointed straight out and had stair-stepped protruding lines running from their points all the way down. The eyes looked like complicated stained glass windows and its mouth had a wooden door and crumbling pillars acting as its tusks and teeth. Its ears had church bells for earrings and arch-buttresses protruding out over its rounded cheeks, decorated with tiny gargoyles.
"Oh, please. A large portion of the JAKDF is powered by rebels. We would be alienating over half of our strongest members if we didn't allow a little self expression." Hoshina assured as he tiled his head side to side, still staring at the art on Kafka's upper thigh, "Did you ever say where you got this done? I'd love to meet the artist."
"I, uh, got it while on a backpacking trip through Germany. I chatted up this girl I met at a rock concert and managed to sweet talk myself into a discounted piece." Kafka answered as he pursed his lips.
"Huh." Hoshina mused, "Out of the question to ask you to remember her name, I take it?"
"Definitely. She made me delete her number after she caught me flirting with her brother." Kafka answered as his eyes flickered briefly of shame from the memory.
While they talked, Iharu had saddled up to Aoi and Haruichi to inquire what was going on.
"What the hell happened?" Iharu started as he crossed his arms casually.
"So I saw Kafka walk out from the showers, yeah?" Haruichi whispered as he fought back a bout of giggles, "And I thought, "Hey, lets haze the Creepy Shinomiya Fanboy a little." I just wanted to steal his towel and snap it at him! I genuinely didn't know that the Vice Captain would walk in at the same time!" He shoulders continued to shake as the look in his eyes went a little crazed.
"And I don't think anyone would have expected the old guy to have a tattoo, nor the fact that Hoshina seems very interested in body art." Aoi noted in an even tone.
"Such a shame. I've felt inspired lately and I like the work done here." Hoshina smirked as a hand came up to the cheeks of the oni mask design and pinched them together a few times, "It's quite the expressive work."
Kafka's body immediately tensed at the sensation and caused more subtle cracks to appear on the wall. His entire face and chest flushed to an even deeper shade of red. Reno felt his heart sunk into his stomach out of surprise at the sight. Iharu's jaw dropped and Haruichi had to turn away before he completely lost control of his face.
"Well, make sure to be safe out there then." Hoshina sighed as he rose up from his knees, "I'd hate to see such a wonderful work of art get ruined." He turned on his heels and walked back out of the bathhouse automated doors.
"Take care." He concluded as he walked away, lazily waving goodbye.
Kafka had to take several deep breaths before the atmosphere returned to the room. Haruichi finally let out the roaring laughter he had been holding in the entire time, falling to his knees and flopping onto his side while holding his ribs. Aoi just shook his head.
"She caught you flirting with her brother?" Haruchi practically screeched as he tried to suck in some air into his abused lungs.
"Cut me some slack! He worked at a completely different tattoo shop!" Kafka shouted back as he tried to regain some semblance of control over himself.
"Why were you at another tattoo shop?" Aoi questioned with a cynical look.
"Probably getting another piercing." Iharu answered for him, "So, which one was it? The nose ring, the half dozen ear piercings, or the nipple studs?" He sarcastically prodded which added on another year to Haruichi's laughing fit.
"It... was actually... the tongue piercing." Kafka gritted out as he pulled the towel back around his waist.
Iharu and Reno immediately looked each other in the eye, pointed at the other and shouted "Fifteen!"
"Excuse me?" Aoi inquired bewilderedly.
"We'll explain later." Reno offered to tide him over.
"And with that ordeal over with, I'm just going to skip the bath and just take a very long, very cold shower." Kafka groaned as he walked away from everyone.
As Iharu and Reno moved over to help Haruichi regain the concept of a regular breathing cycle, the two of them wondered if that was going to be the last they were ever going to hear about this trip through Germany. Nothing could have prepared the Third Division for how much another man's adventure through loss, heartbreak, and consequences would envelop their lives.
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OH! Before I forget: I drew this a long time ago for this particular fic actually. Just pretend that it has hyper-realistic shading like what you would find on grayscale tattoos and a shit-ton more details. (German churches are fucking insane looking) And yeah, Surprise! It's based on German Church Architecture.

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Okay, not to ruin the fun vibes I tried to set up here, but I've gotta talk about a few things. Mainly my future as a writer. (God, I'm already making this sound worse than it is) Less important stuff out of the way first.
Anything involving this Story Line will not be posted to Ao3, yet. I am going to wait until I feel like I have written enough about this and come up with a satisfying conclusion before I shove all this into a multi-chaptered one-off fic over on xXMechanicalDuchessXx at Ao3. That way, it can all be read at one time. I get its part of the culture on Ao3 that you're supposed to be patient and wait for your faves to upload their newest chapter when they feel like it, but that ain't me. So much so, that it'a become a problem for something else.
The other problem is that I've had a few things on my mind. Recently, I posted a smut fic here and onto Ao3 that... well, I wouldn't say it didn't do well, but I'm used to a much warmer reception to when I post my writing. To be fair, it was a smut fic and I recognize that to some it isn't their cup of tea, not to mention that it was about a less recognized pairing. (Which makes no fucking sense to me, it was fucking IhaReno, their shit should be treated way more popular.) But for a few days, it didn't gain any traction on either platform... like, at all. And for a moment I was kind of upset. Like, considered never posting smut here ever again upset. Which, looking back now, might have been an overreaction.
That being said...
YA'LL NEED TO FUCKIN' THANK MY BESTIE @iceclew FOR THE SHIT SHE DOES FOR ME. IF IT WASN'T FOR THE FACT THAT I SPECIFICALLY WAITED FOR HER REVIEW TO COME OUT BEFORE I TALKED ABOUT THIS SHIT, WE WOULD BE HAVING AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT DISCUSSION RIGHT NOW.
(it also helped that I just now saw Ao3 Offical's post here talking about some sort of updating error that was posted around Valentine's day, which was the day I posted... that healed me a little as well.)
Needless to say, I feel like I should update everyone on the status of some WIP's that I've been wanting to work on, and thanks to some soul searching during those days I was patiently awaiting the review, I can now fully explain.
To start with, There were three fics on my mind. This one, another IhaReno fic with a twist, and a KafHoshi fic that has been in an indefinite working hiatus since probably last year. With the somewhat lackluster reception of my latest fic, I had briefly considered that I might have lost my touch with how I write characters. I have been complimented on it and have continued to pride myself with accurate retelling of their characterizations.
My Achille's heel when it comes to doing this, is Reno. Every time I put pen to paper about this man, (Or, I guess I should say fingers-to-keyboard) I can never tell if I'm doing him justice. I find it incredibly hard to strike a good balance of being a cool, collected, and calm-natured soldier with the occasional outbursts of explosive emotions he's prone too when he's in situations he's not sure of himself in. This current fic you have undoubtedly read will be exploring a take I have on Kafka I'm not sure many people would agree with. Not only that, most of it will be featuring this take through the third person perspective of either Iharu, Reno, or both. Needless to say, my faith in myself was briefly shaken. Thank you again Ice for restoring that.
TL:DR, I will be continuing this fic, I shall just give no fucks about it.
The IhaReno fic follows a similar problem. It's A fic written entirely from Reno's point of view, meaning I have to write that story from the standpoint of his internal monologue. Which, as I have just stated, I still don't have the best grasp of the man. The First Person POV I have no problem with, I've worked with it before. Still, that particular fic is probably not going to see daylight for a while yet, but thats where you lot come into play. I would greatly appreciate any helpful commentary on THIS line of fics specifically surrounding how I could write Reno better. This isn't a ploy for compliments, I GENUINELY feel like I can't write him well enough.
This fic will also be doing double duty as well when it comes to the final and biggest matter at hand, the KafHoshi fic. I had gone into that fic thinking it would just take me a couple months, not suddenly devolving into requiring almost Eight full chapters, which is something I had no previous experience with. I have since learned that I do have the capacity to write that much, I just haven't gotten there yet. That is something I have to work for, an entirely alien feeling for me. ( Not in the sense that I've never had to work for something, but that this is the first time I've ever had the desire to.)
It didn't help that I've been wanting to post all "Eight" (HOPEFULLY it stays to eight) chapters all at once, so as to avoid the possible emotional guilt that would haunt all my days should I have became burnt out on the story and not update it for years at a time. However, to accomplish this task, I was restraining myself from posting every other paragraph because I was desperate for the energy I could gain from all the possible praise and comments I could get from doing so. As an alternative, I hope that from working on this fic and posting the chapters piecemeal, I could built the mental fortitude necessary to bring myself to continue what I'm is sure to be My Personal Odyssey.
I'm sure most of you are going to skip this part, but screw you I feel better now.
#If it feels like I'm cranking a lot of these out it's because its a personal goal of mine to kill my writer's procrastination.#and get shit done this year.#Will I knock out every one of my fanfic ideas in just this year ? Maybe not.#but I know that's probably unrealistic.#so right now I'm just seeing what I CAN crank out in a year.#ignore the Devil May Cry music behind me as I write this.#as God as my witness and with the power of friendship I WILL make something out of myself#but yeah the whole main premise of this is just to give Kafka some insane pre-defense force lore.#you know Like any good dad has.#If you're wondering Why Germany of all places?#It because I have a dyed in the wool head canon that Kafka is 1/4 to 3/4 quarters German.#The Name | The Body Hair | The Love of Beer | The Personality#HE READS PART GERMAN TO ME!!!#And I just think It would be hilarious if he was actually related to an in-universe version of Franz Kafka.#You know. The guy that wrote Metamorphosis.#It would end up explaining away his gay ass tendencies and the depression.#kaiju no. 8#kn8#kaiju no 8#kaiju number 8#kaiju no.8#kaiju n8#kaiju no. eight#kafka hibino#soshiro hoshina#reno ichikawa#iharu furuhashi#haruichi izumo#aoi kaguragi#kn8 fic
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Why are most adult cartoons/animation in general so, ugly and unappealing? And why 90% of the times the humor is 'haha sex' etc? Do we adults not deserve pretty animations that are allowed to be more mature and have themes that wouldn't cut it if it were in a kids media?
#don't get me wrong#I love me some good kids cartoons#gravity falls. over the garden wall (I'm sure the owl house is great too but I haven't seen it yet). there are a lot#but cartoons aimed for an aduld audience? Ican only think of arcane and blue eyed samurai#the rest are ugly. like family guy or moder simpsons. and sure there are others that have a mire compelling story to tell#like bojack horseman. but it's uglyyyyyyy#and I truly believe that since it's a visual media it has to have some appeal. the artstyle turns me away. not only because I don't like it#but because it feels like every adult cartoon is the ugliest thing possible#and the humor. ughhhh. it's like a 14 year old wrote what they think adult humor is supposed to be#I don't like being negative (lie. I love being negative and I love complaining) but this is getting out of hand#thank god for fandom spaces and talented artists#not art#text#me complaining#adult animation#adult cartoon
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desperately want to see a zag fight. sgg let me kick his ass
#hades 2#PLEASE IT WOULD GO SO HARD#like i genuinely think zagreus would be a powerful ally for chronos. or at least he would be a danger to chronos#he knows the underworld like the back of his hand and more importantly he knows how to ESCAPE the underworld#he's a skilled and powerful fighter and he's in the good graces of a lot of olympian gods#not to mention that chronos knows what melinoë can do. who's to say her brother isn't the same? or at least similar#chronos' only issue is that i'm like 99% sure zagreus haaaaaates him aidhskfjsjdj like so much#so! he's not going to be able to convince zag to join his side so easily. or at all#and chronos has been shown to use manipulation and alteration of reality to get what he wants#also how horrifying would it be? to see the long lost prince of the underworld siding with the enemy?#chronos would absolutely use that against hades. like look. i have your son on my side. what will you do?#(side note i wrote chronos as chronks by mistake)#a zagreus/melinoë teamup would be absolutely DEVASTATING for chronos akdbsjdjsjfndkf
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y'all ever think about how j.oongi wears eyeliner 😳 I do. A lot haha.
#ash rambles 💚#watching him get ready in the morning.. ajdhwndbqnhd#also. i um. i'd love to do some makeup on him someday if he's good with that!#ash leaning in close.. putting some eyeshadow on him...#ahahaha i wonder why ash's face is covered in lipstick marks later!!!!!! hahaha!!!!! 😳😳😳😳😳#i...um. they have fun. I'm not really an eyeliner girlie so much as i am a really bold + colorful eyeshadow girlie but. hey.#he can do some makeup on me too 😳#i know he mentions taking really good care of his appearance. he KNOWS he's hot.#which i suppose makes sense considering the guy he's a body double for looks like THAT and happened to run a fucking sex club#... man he was so hot-#also it's pretty funny that he was like 'yeah lol i was handsome before the plastic surgery too-'#but my point was#these two are very much the Doing Skincare Together kinda couple. i do some basic stuff (i'm a very loyal tretinoin girlie)#but he has many steps that he puts Ash on. it's pretty fun. they bond a lot when they do their skincare together!#but also in his bingo he does mention feeling insecure about pimples... sir. you're so hot. that's only gonna make you hotter in ash's eyes.#man... ahkdhwjwhwjdjw. this crush on him is. so freaking strong wjdhwjrh#but also. since he takes such good care of his appearance. ash is also the only one that gets to see him how he is in the morning.#no makeup.. messy hair.. omg i found fanart of him with his hair down and i just AJSJAKDHSJSHQJDHQJDHJSDHHWHDHWGD#J.OONGI H.AN THE MAN THAT YOU ARE......#I'm so normal about him i swear#god and i havent even played his game yet... I'm so cooked aren't i wjehwjdhwje#because of the tiktok ban and the such I've been downloading all my saved tiktoks and i have.. so many edits of him.. UGH THAT VOICE......#i dont play with the english dub but his english voice.. AKDHWJDHWJFGQJDHW also the other day (yesterday lol) i wrote their first kiss#and how ash gives him a really soft kiss. and while she's pulling away he grabs her and kisses her hard. it gets pretty heated ngl#they've been pining for so long and he was tired of holding his feelings back. they uh. they make out. a lot. haha.#AHDKAHDJAHSNHA#😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳#like a flowing wind 🔳
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21 pages of my book edited!! wooo!!!
#os: entrails of the animals#im on the last draft edits before i shift to looking for a publisher#unfortunately its a lot of Big changes so its taking so much brainpower augh#mostly bc i wrote the first book with thr idea that it Could be standalone but could also be a trilogy if it got a good reception#but then i decided to just commit to it beinf a trilogy bc thats what i wanted the most#so now im fixing worldbuilding AND having to seed in all of my foreshadowing for the next two books#bc im a bitch who LIVES for as much subtle foreshadowing as i can possibly manage in a story#i think at the end of the day as much work as this is going to take#its going to be worth it ya know?#it takes this from 'the story i happen to tell first' to ' the story i WANT to tell first'#but augh all of these goddamn changes i gotta make#small enough ones that i have to comb the entire story paragraph by paragraph#instead of just redoing certain chapters#and having no energy thanks to my seizure meds#BUT BY GOD IM GETTING THIS SHIT DONE. I WILL HAVE IT PUBLISHED!!!
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some very very quick costume shorthands!
#&juliet#had the absolute luck of watching this live the other night and it was. truly amazing!!! aaah#rough character designs for the younger leads (excluding like the Grown adult duos..) because?? idk#this is how it always starts. once the character designs start getting simplified like this that's when it all begins#which is hmmm timing but i really can't shut up about this musical it was so so fun. absolute vibes and energy#made me laugh and cry and was such an Experience. i adore them all but may specifically made me sob at some parts dfjkldfh#lots of thoughts! but one of the favs is how they wrote it so the existing songs and actions fit so well.#like in a rhyming bit they had frankie accept a drink and then the song was like ''drink in hand'' and i was all !!!!!!#also maybe it's local censorship? but there wasn't the kisses.. they replaced it w kissing hands and then holding hands#which is like a cute nod to the ''hand to hand holy palmers kiss' or smth but also maybe two guys doing that would not have made it past :/#oh my god i. the way rnj parallels the shakespeare duo... whdskjfhgh. may + not being a Girl kdjhgf. frankie and may. aaagh.#angelique being so so badass. i . the speech about Gender by anne and the Proposal by angelique both made the whole theatre cheer love that#also rotating stage lives in my mind rent free i ADORE the set holy moly.. also also the actors were so good. also the Projections.#also the music and costumes and special effects and aerial moments. and the ensemble. and the choreo#also the cast is so talented. and pretty. and the whole confidence part vs the vulnerability of some bits... whshjfgjkl. hhh#im just listing stuff now but it was so vibes. what an experience ever. it's also shot me directly into 14-years-old again so#spent the morning alone vibing to the soundtrack intensely... i just... sometimes things hold special places in your heart idk!!!#i don't know what to do with these designs though... like the show is such a lovely Spectacle but also idk where to branch out by myself no#there's so much to Absorb again and again. i get the feeling any true work from this i would do in a form of an animatic though.. oops#tldr? 1. &juliet very good just as itself 2. we have History 3. i got to see it live which always propels me into bonkers over musicals!#so so rough but i needed to get smth out and . whatever. an art blog is an art blog. back to hiatus now i think#<reminder to myself: this is essentially an artchive.. there's no quality control if you don't want it! have fun!! ily>
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v random rant ab next gen fics under the cut bc i wanted to get this out but also it’s just. very ridiculous and don’t want to subject unsuspecting people to it lol
i’m reading next gen fic and realising what it is that bothers me so much ab most of it. and just, many fics in general.
it’s the sheer thoughtlessness in the characterisation. i’m reading this potter kids at hogwarts thing and james is a horrific bully who turns on al as soon as he goes into slytherin. the rest of the weasley family is no better. rose is like hermione in first year but infinitely worse, with fanon!ron’s hatred of anything green and silver. all the kids are just. weird.
and it doesn’t make any sense???? like, on one hand you write harry and ginny as good, loving parents. if you take into account all the other adults, as well as the effects of the war and the collective history and experiences they all have, it stands to obvious reason that the kids would be raised differently. would have certain quirks. but won’t necessarily be the same archetypes ykno?
like, idk. it just falls into lazy characterisation for me, and that’s not a bad thing. it’s just so. annoying. bc these are literal blank slates and u can make things SO fun but just. don’t.
a lot of marauder era characterisation goes this way too. but i think i get so annoyed by the next gen stuff is bc i genuinely love all those little shits sm for characters who are essentially nonexistent. it is once again the same issue of me having extremely niche headcanons and getting pissy when everyone else doesn’t think so lol
#next gen#this has been a rant#nothing more nothing less#obv fanfic is a place to play around. no one had to self introspect to write#but i think it bothers me when there’s no coherence in it#like. if there was good parenting but the kids are collectively horrible then what does that even say#it falls v close to the ‘it’s in the blood’ stance#it’s why james sirius is often written as an og james clone#there’s no creativity also#al however. was written wonderfully on this. so was scorpios.#maybe one day i will write next gen properly#in the meantime i’m gonna post ab my headcanons#i have soooooo many feels for james sirius it’s not even funny#no surprise of course#but god. he occupies such a fascinating position#this has been sitting in the drafts for a bit#bc i rage wrote it after reading a fic#but i sat on it bc i didn’t want to shit on it bc it was genuinely rly nice#but i was also v bothered at the same time#and then i read a lot of other next gen fics#and realised it’s a pattern for me and my little hater heart lol#pen’s whining
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cannot ever go back to vanilla fates because what do you mean these interactions were not in the real game… why would you do that to me… im thriving right now though actually no one touch me these guys are all so family
#ann plays fates#unfortunately after this i unlocked soleil and ophelia’s supports with eachother#forgetting that they were. the way that they are.#love her lots but i really cant read her ophelia support. i was gonna say without vomiting but tbh. i j cant read it.#whatever tho. i think soleil is probably one of the few instances where i will full heartedly go fanon over canon bc wow!! umm… uhh huhhh…!#but ive been unlocking a lot of the modded supports and WOW. whoever wrote these love u. kissing u. the camilla one almost made me cry a bi#in a good way i loved that one…#intsys pls dont screw this up if u ever remake this game in 30 or so years…#anyways thats not the point of this post#POINT IS awakening trio + soleil and ophelia fambly :3 ESPECIALLY aunt selena. god. love.
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This fic came out of a conversation about Apollo getting kidnapped for blackmail purposes, in which we concluded that Apollo would break himself out injuries and all, come crashing into the courtroom at the last second with the critical evidence, and then pass out on the floor.
Klavier/Daryan/Apollo in the background, because I can. Rated T, injuries mostly acquired offscreen.
#klavier gavin#daryan crescend#apollo justice#klapollodar#ace attorney#things i wrote#good god that's a lot of tags
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