#gonna test again in 2 and 4 days.
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crimeronan · 8 months ago
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dreamt i infiltrated some fortune 500 company owned by elon musk with no goal except to see how long i could work there without getting caught. told the manager "oh, can you help me out, i don't think you guys finished my onboarding yet" & he just set me up with my own account on their training modules without checking my ID. intermittently i kept remembering i have COVID and going "no wait i shouldnt be here" and then going "eh. it's an elon musk company. it's fine"
....GIRL???
your ETHICS?????
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winemom-culture · 4 days ago
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I finally got my period today 6 whole days late which is the latest I’ve ever been besides well you know. Once.
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seventh-district · 5 months ago
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#Seven’s Public Diary#vent post#vent#cw vent post#cw vent#cw health#cw medical#cw medication#cw death#death mention#after nearly 2 weeks of unexplained pain and Symptoms and working myself up into the worst panic attack of my life#i finally caved and went to urgent care :)#it’s not lost on me that the same thing happened a little over a year ago. not bc of the same symptoms but it’s the same fear of dying#smthn smthn if i had a nickel smthn smthn weird that it happened twice. i rlly hope this doesn’t become a pattern#i can picture it now. every spring i walk in and they’re like ‘ugh it’s the neurotic hypochondriac with 4 anxiety disorders again 🙄#wonder what they think they’re dying of this time!’#sigh. anyways i’m fine. probably.#the consensus was ‘no you’re Probably not gonna have a stroke and die. you’re just Very stressed and in a lot of pain.’#got diagnosed with Stressed Guy Syndrome so now i take ✨painkillers✨ and ✨muscle relaxers✨ 🙃#they wanted me to take a steroid shot too but that felt like overkill. it’s also a big step for me to be willing to take anything at all#not bc i’m scared of getting a shot in the neck i’m just. scared of medication in general. the side effects. the potential for dependency.#it’s only for a week but i’m still uncomfy with it. but it Is nice to be in less pain. tho i have my doubts that it’ll help long term#time will tell. but i still can’t shake the fear of the tiny chance that it Could be more serious. but it’s not big enough for them to test#for it so. just gotta live with the fear. which in turn is making it hard to relax. which is what i’m supposed to be doing. so.#anyways. i Hope the meds work and i don’t end up back there next week spending More money and seeking more treatment#sighhhh i just can’t catch a break these days. it’s Always Something#at least the electricity and internet are back on after the tornado last week. and at least i’m not in much pain for now. silver linings.#sorry to everyone i’ve unintentionally ghosted but it’s been hard to think through the pain and now the meds are making me eepy#hopefully i’ll recover and recharge my social battery sooner than later. bc i do feel v bad abt it#and it’s So nice to sleep without much pain so i’m. taking advantage of that this week. Seven Try To Relax Challenge 2024
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cnnamonrolls · 2 years ago
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maaaan
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nerdie-faerie · 6 months ago
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This has got to be the worst move out yet
#packing perils#student living#Uni shenanigans#ace is a mess#oh my god. okay so we start on Tuesday ive been gradually moving my stuff over to my friends house#cus were moving in together in September and shes staying in her place over the summer so well have everything in one place to move in#so take some stuff over to hers on tuesday before her shift then we walk to work together i collect her keys and say bye#go back to mine pack up some more stuff warned her i planned on doing 2 trips while she was working so start figuring out whats going#end up with two tote bags a crate a box and a large bag of boxes decide ill take the heavier tote bag and the box on the first trip#as i cant really carry much else with the box due to its awkward size even though its not particularly heavy and cut through the park to#shave off some time feel pretty good when i get there it wasnt unbareable esp after Saturday when carrying 4 heavy shopping bags ended up#covering me in bruises and scratches and messing my back shoulder and neck up so i feel like underestimated myself on this trip and like i#can take everything on the next trip well its already late in the day cus my mate does evening shift so by time i get back its half 9 so i#decide to cut through the park again to save time but the large shopping bag with my saucepans casserole dish etc is difficult to carry due#to how bulky it is and the crate tho it has handles is also unwieldy so my arms are being bruised and scratched up i cant waste time carryin#everything back home just to put one thing down at this point but im considering putting the biggest bag down in some overgrown plants in#the park speeding to my mates and coming back for it its a stupid and risky idea but its getting dark the sun is almost completely set and#no matter how often i rest i just cant manage it and my damn brain starts worrying about being murdered so i ditch the bag and i can move#much quicker now so rush to my mates and rush back reassure her as im leaving hers that i am bringin her keys back its just after 11 at this#point cus its over 35 minutes to get to hers i get back to the park in just over 20 my bag is still there! and i dont get attacked get my#stuff to her room then hustle to get to her job before she finishes at 12 get there a few minutes to spare shes not ready to go yet anyway#she tells me shes not comfortable with me walking back in the dark i should stay at hers i cant ive got an assignment so she says shes#walking me to mine then going to her boyfriends 5 mins down the road get back to mine shower have dinner and crank out my Wednesday 4pm#assignment by 7am go to bed get about 2 hours sleep before tge fire alarm is tested and then ive got to be up for a meeting with our new#landlord anyway and ofc its raining come back from our meeting grab food and start packing up some more sht get buses over to hers this time#together come back pack some more hope the rain dies down a bit but it doesnt look like its stopping and i somehow fcked my foot carrying#stuff earlier so she texts a coworker asking if they can pick us up they agree so organise a few more things but then a puddle causes their#car to break down the next bus is in over half hour so mate decides shes gonna run to her boyfriends to charge her phone while we wait for#the next bus to be due while shes gone i finish sorting things she then calls asks me to book a taxi cus the rain has only gotten worse when#taxi arrives realise that student accom is basically flooded deciding what to do while at hers cus the weather is unbareable she goes to get
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faretheeoscar · 8 months ago
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NEEDY MIGUEL
Pairing: Miguel O’Hara x SpiderFemaleReader
Warnings: 🔞 NSFW, Masturbation, brief mentions of sex, oral sex.
AN: English is not my first language, no beta read/grammar corrected.
PART 2 PART3 PART 4 (final soon)
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Needy Miguel that comes home tired of another day at the spider society, dealing with more than he can take on.
Needy Miguel that feels the weight of the multiverse on his shoulders and feels empty inside when he opens the door of his room and nobody is there to greet him and comfort him.
Needy Miguel that drags his feet to bed exhausted, disengages his suit and lays flat naked on the bed, his body drained of energy.
Needy Miguel that tries to drift off to sleep but thoughts of you earlier on the day when you were together on a mission start invading his head, making him hot and bothered.
Needy Miguel that even though he’s tired and he know he’ll regret this in the morning gives his already hard cock a couple of testing tugs and immediately moans and squeezes his throbbing member at the thought of how good the curve of your ass looks in your spider suit.
Needy Miguel that dry fucks his fist angrily out of frustration of not having anyone that can satisfy him, not having a warm body against his, at the frustration of not being able to tell you how he feels about you, about not having the opportunity of fucking your sweet cunt instead of his own fist like every other day when he finds himself at this exact same situation.
Needy Miguel that stitches his eyebrows together as he thinks about how your moans would sound probably like heaven as he fucks you senseless, picturing your legs spreading out for him, your inner thighs full of bruises that he left after eating you out and making you come on his tongue at least 3 times before he buried his fat cock deep inside you.
Needy Miguel that decides to finally reach out for the lube and drip down some drops, moaning and arching his back at the sensation of the cold substance against his hot head.
Needy Miguel that likes to edge himself, likes to fuck his fist fast to then slow down and just rub his thumb against the underside of his weeping swollen red tip making his legs shiver and whimper in need.
Needy Miguel that plays with his balls with his free hand, pulls them down, kneads at them, stretches them and brings them together as he feels a sweet relief from that.
Needy Miguel that changes positions in bed and closes his eyes, resting his feet flat on the bed to meet each violent and fast tug of his hand with a thrust of his hips as a loud groan erupts from his chest and resonates all over his penthouse.
Needy Miguel that was too tired to even notice that when he threw his gizmo next to him in bed, he accidentally called you, the live feed option turning on, making you witness everything; hearing each moan and sweet sound he made, praising your name over and over again until finally loads and loads of thick cum ran down his knuckles when he met his release.
Fair for me to say you’re gonna probably have an interesting chat with him tomorrow.
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AN: This is my first post writing smut for Miguel, I had a revelation about him after I woke up knowing that I dreamed about him but sadly I don’t remember what it was about 😭😭
Reblogs and comments are kindly appreciated!
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sturniolosass · 10 months ago
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Sick - a Matt Sturniolo x Reader
Summery - Nick and Matt are sick with Covid and you offer to come and help take care of them.
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*fluff, like…pure fluff*
It’s Tuesday Night and you get a call from your boyfriend Matt letting you know he tested positive for covid, Your first reaction was to ask if he need anything medicine, soup, water. He had stated that he and the boys were fine without it and that you should stay home and rest but you insisted. So ending the call you decided to head over to him and his brothers home to help take care of all three of them.
Before heading to the house you decided to run to your local grocery store and grab a few things for the soup you’d be making and also a box of tea.
Once you checked out you started making your way to the house.
Once you arrived you knocked on the door urgently and saw Chris, you urgently pulled a mask over your face
“Yo! I’m good, i don’t have Covid…” he said
“ohhh oh my god, i thought all of yall were sick as fuck” you stated with a sigh of relief
“where are Matt and Nick?” you asked with a sense of panic
“they are both locked away in their rooms..i wouldn’t let them contaminate you” he laughed
“I don’t think it would matter hence i put myself in this situation. Wanna help me cook?” you ask Chris hoping he’d say no remembering his cooking history
“uhhhh im not sure you want that..” Chris replied
“you know what! you’re right” you replied rushing over to the stove
You put everything down on the counters before rushing around the corner hall to Matt’s room. Knocking on the door you say “Matt, are you hungry? How’re you feeling?” then listening in for a response you hear counting..
“1..2..3..4..5” Matt counts..
You call again “Matt?!”
Matthew then hurriedly opens the door wearing a mask he then says “what’re you doing here..? you’re gonna get sick! go home!” he rushing griefs to shut the door.. but your foot’s in between the hinges “i wanted to come and take care of you guys i know you guys don’t really know how to do that yourself.., have you even had any medicine..?” you ask worriedly “yea..” Matt looks around suspiciously “well no..but still i don’t want you getting sick, you should go home, coming here was sweet though i really appreciate you thinking of us honestly” he replies expecting you to leave which you do.. but not the house
Time to cook..
You grab all your ingredients and start making the soup. Onion, Celery, Garlic, Carrots, Noodles, etc.. once everything is cooking you decide to throw on a movie within the same time in which Chris decides to come up stairs from the ground floor… “sooo like, I know i’m not sick but that smells oh so yummy” he says in a weird yet entertaining voice “can i please have some too?” he begs. You look at him funny and reply “I mean.. i guess i’m trying to make enough so that there’s at least enough for two days..” he then notices the TV and asks “what is this? saltburn or some shit?” you look at him in disgust “No. it’s The Turning” you say matter of factly. “what is it about” he asks, “i don’t know for real, just some indie horror film” you tell, “oh alright well please let me know first when the food is done” he pleads. “whatever.” you say.
One the food is done you call up the guys one by one to grab a bowl. First Chris cause he asked so kindly, then Nick.. Once Nick comes down he seems fine, Then he starts coughing a lot, causing you to worry and offer him tea. He politely declines claiming to not enjoy tea that much. He then heads back upstairs and Matt comes out of his room after 5 minutes..
“Hey, I really appreciate you coming here and treating me and my brothers so sweet.. i was on the phone with my mom and she really thanks you because she can’t be here to do these things for us” he says lovingly smiling up at you with his cute little red nose from blowing it all day. “no problem, i love you guys a lot. you especially, so i have no problem with probably leaving here sick just to make sure you guys are ok” you reply. Matt them comes behind you whilst you’re stirring the soup on the low heat and gives your back a nice firm hug. “I love you” he says. At first you’re very caught off guard because that’s the first time he’s spoken those three words to you.. but coming to your senses you immediately respond “i love you too, Matt” in to which he smiles in the crook of your neck and kisses it. You turn and hug him back.
“Want some soup or tea?” you ask politely. “Sure, i’ll have some tea” he responds thankfully. “i already had food like a few hours ago. thank you though.” he adds. You pop a Peppermint tea in the keurig and he sits at the table. “i’m glad you’re here, i feel like i’ve been going crazy locked in my room all day.” he speaks. “I was counting my steps as i paced my room earlier because my apple watch felt i was being ‘lazy’ even though i’m quite frankly sick as all hell” he adds.. “hahaha yea i heard that, i was so confused” you reply coming in for a kiss in which he hesitates “i don’t wanna risk your chance of getting more sick” he states in to which you reply “the sickness is airborne, love. if im gonna get sick it’s gonna happen regardless. i’ve already stepped in the house.” leaning in you kiss his lips. The keurig finishes and you mix a little bit of honey in his mug and hand him the cup.
Nearing the end of the night you and Matt head into his room to relax, figuring you’d already be sick Matt invites you to stay the night knowing it shouldn’t get any worse from here unless you go home where your family lives. You both decide to watch a movie, Matt begging you to help him finish saltburn stating he was bored with it in the first 20 minutes. You oblige only to regret it seeing he’s only watched a small portion of the ‘weird’ movie, however you continue watching just to keep him company and watch him fall asleep comfortably in your arms...
The End :)
a/n: idk how i feel about the end of this.. but you know what, its my first and i’ll only get better as i keep going.. :)) THANKS FOR READING!
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theoreticaltranstherian · 8 months ago
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Jumping on the bandwagon woo-hoo
no spam reblog or spam comment ;P
For every 100 reblogs I'll drink another bottle of water
Update: Ive drank almost 2 whole water bottles in the last 3 days which isn't much proportionally but for one, I'd probably not even drink one if it wasn't for the internet critters in my phone telling me to and also, yk, thats alot of water compared to my last few weeks getting all my fluids from food
10 reblogs: Go to bed before midnight tonight
50 reblogs: I'll make my bed in the mornings for a week
Update: I found out that my bed being made kinda stresses me out for some reason, it's just so neat I get scared, and so instead I am putting away 3 pieces of clothing that have been clean for months and i just haven't touched every morning :D
75 reblogs: I'll work on getting accommodations for my autism at school
Update: I don't have the required "proof of diagnosis" and I'd have to wait 2 years or so to get it and I won't be in school anymore at that point, so I'm working with my counselors to see what they can do aside from official autism accommodations
125 reblogs: I'll work in upping my failing grade in math
Update: Math test retake on the 12tg, wish me luck!
150 reblogs: I'll work on my dopamine addiction and get help
Update: Hooooooly shit addictions are hard. I'm going to start a timer for time between uses of YouTube shorts or Instagram reels in an effort to reduce my need for instant gratification and try to replace every time I pick my phone up with drawing or reading or talking to people around me.
200 reblogs: I'll post my art that I've been self conscious about posting
Update: I am really happy for this, it's finally an excuse for me to make myself post my art :D it's probably gonna be 1-2 drawings per post with a little background with each :3
300k reblogs: I'll start cleaning up my room
400k reblogs: I'll clean out my bag (God pls don't get to 400 yall T T)
500: I'll get sharp objects out of my room
1k reblogs: I'll be really happy :0
Edit; Added more goals
2k reblogs: I'll start streaming on twitch again!!!
3k reblogs: I'll empty out my drafts
5k: I come out as trans to my parents (I don't know if they're transphobic so to speak, but they are of the mindset that "do whatever you want once you're out of our house but until then you are our kid" but I wanna be like um no actually-)
5.5k: I come out as trans to my non-transphobic grandma
6k: I come out as trans to my transphobic grandma
Edit 2; Yo same picture of the earth reblogged me?!? the picverse found this?!?! that's insane xd
Edit 4; I added some coming out goals because I'm not gonna do it if I don't have the pressure from hundreds of little things in my phone cheering me on xd
Pinging moots so there's at least a small chance of any of these happening xd
@calimewzz @annotated-catastrophe @glitched-out-dusk @life-is-okay-rn
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heya-dollface · 5 months ago
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What to look for when making Long Hair for Dolls - The Differences in 100% Acrylic Yarns
Hey lovely doll peeps, hope you're having a good day! So over in the Dollblr community here on Tumblr, some people had some questions regarding making doll hair out of acrylic yarn. So I took some time to grab some yarn from my stash and lay out what I know about working with it. It was helpful there, so now I'm copying the post over here so you all can enjoy it and use its knowledge for your own doll needs. That said, if you're interested in the Dollbllr community, go reach out to @plasma-packin-peep/@peepersponies to see about getting an invite. It's a really sweet group of people from what I've experienced so far. <3
Let me give you a quick summary of about five years worth of learning to work with this material.
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Welcome to my desk! Before you are five different yarns from my stash. All of these are 100% acrylic. As you can see, acrylic yarn comes in a wide variety of sizes and softness, and while I can do the same things to all of them, they will behave slightly differently. My favorites of this bunch are the Yarn Bee True Colors and the Charisma. Yarn Bee is the native brand to Hobby Lobby, and Charisma I've found at Michaels. Loops & Threads and Hometown, which aren't pictured here, other brands I've enjoyed working with in their thicker fiber variants, also over at Michaels.
The common wisdom in the doll community is that you use 100% acrylic because it's a synthetic fiber that can handle heat. That means it can handle a flat iron or curling wand without melting, which is what makes it look similar to real human hair on this scale. I haven't tested a ton in the way of other fibers. But one of my dolls, Sass here, uses a combination of 100% acrylic yarn and a yarn that's part acrylic, part nylon, and I wanna say part spandex? It's been like 4 years since I made this guy, and that yarn's label is lost, but you can see that the nylon yarn sticks out a little. It doesn't flat iron nicely into a fluffy, realistic hair, it's more stringy. So useful to know if you want that look!
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So here's what we're going to do. I've taken all of the yarns pictured and taken them apart to show you how much fiber I lose on an average yarn prep. I'm gonna show you what that looks like from left to right. My method is to cut my yarn, unravel each strand by hand, then take a wire pet brush to it to smooth it out. Instead of tying my yarn to a hanger or hoop, I hold it in my hand, brush through the yarn gently until I'm halfway through, then flip it and go after it from the other side. This is good for ensuring that my length is preserved. Whatever fiber gets stuck in the pet brush, I then take out, mush together, and brush through again so that I have more yarn hair to work with. After that, I will take a flat iron to it and then brush through one more time, but I'm not showing those last two steps here. That said, sometimes flat ironing does lead to losing more fiber, so that is something to consider.
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Let's start with that big chonker. This is also a Yarn Bee yarn, and it's probably ideal for an easy time getting your hair unraveled. I have yet to use this one on a doll, truth be told I got it on clearance and haven't figured out who the color would suit. It's very easy to pull apart and work with, and as you can see, it retains a lot of its length.
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Next is the True Colors. This stuff is so soft, which is why it's my preference, and while it can be easy to tear apart, you can still retain a lot of length if you're gentle. Like look at the far right, that's all the fiber I took out of the pet brush and mushed back together. It's still a pretty sizable amount of yarn fiber to work with!
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The Charisma is a similar story. Something you've probably noticed is that not all yarns have the same amount of strands when pulled apart. I tend to see 2 to 4 on average when I'm prepping yarn. This is a two strander, and once again, it's soft and delightful. Highly recommend going to a physical store and touching your yarn before your buy it. The softer stuff is my preference given how much I'm holding and touching it.
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This yarn from Mainstay I got on clearance at Walmart, and it's actually quite soft to the touch! As you can see, our strands are getting thinner here, which is harder to unravel with your fingers. I loose a lot of length when brushing through yarn like this, and it's hard to mush the fibers back together. Yarn like this is incredibly common, and I'll be honest, I don't love working with it. ^^''' But it may be perfect for your project needs! All depends on what you want in a yarn. If you're looking to give a doll a wavy/curled hair without having to curl it yourself, just unraveling and plugging a lot of these in might be for you!
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I don't remember where this seafoam green yarn came from, but I think it might be yarn marketed for making baby clothes. It's very thin, and it knots a little at the ends when you unravel it, which is frustrating. I managed to preserve and reconstruct pretty well with this fiber, but the amount of hassle it takes to get through this for a full head of doll hair is very aaaahhh. Like I said, maybe this works for your project. I tend to save this kind of yarn for stuff like accents rather than the main hair color, just because it takes so long to work with.
And there you have it! Those are my notes about brushing out doll hair! As a quick aside, you don't have to brush out yarn in order for it to be beautiful. Sometimes I like to only unravel it and use it that way, like with my recent fairy doll here. She uses a blend of two True Colors yarns and I wanna say a Charisma for the white. There's even a pink and white yarn in here that I didn't brush out, I just boiled and then froze it around a foam curler and threw it in for more texture, though it's a bit tough to spot in this photo.
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At the end of the day, you can use just about any acrylic yarn for your project, the question is really what are you willing to put up with. I know myself, I know that I can put on a movie or chat with friends as I'm unraveling a thicker fiber yarn and then brush it out another time and have it be tolerable. That works for me. As you can see, a staple of my dolls is having really long, soft yarn hair, so it makes sense that this is what I gravitate towards. XD
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But maybe you want something different out of your yarn experience. That's fine too! The best thing you can do is experiment to see what you like. Do what makes you happy! There is no wrong way to customize your dolls (so long as you're not putting yourself or others in danger). Go have fun, be kind to yourself, and be safe in handling your materials. And of course, if you have any questions, feel free to ask! I've been customizing since November of 2018, and I love chatting about this art form. To my beginners especially, there is no such thing as a stupid question, don't be afraid to ask for help if you're unsure of where to go.
Here's wishing you all a wonderful day, and happy customizing! <3
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danieyells · 6 months ago
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Rui mizuki’s lines from Tokyo debunker if you haven’t yet PLEASE I will love you for all eternity
They’re edging me with the rui crumbs every chapter I can’t take it anymore
One flirty reaper coming right up!! And by right up i mean almost a week after you asked hhahaha
BUT YEAH WE DO GET A LITTLE OF HIM HERE AND THERE i wonder why he pops up so much. Especially for someone who allegedly tries not to be around other people much due to his deadly touch? Kinda sus--
also this is the first time i've posted all of someone's lines! not that i don't always end up posting 95% of them anyway, but for some reason some of Rui's were ordered weird(they're normally not entirely in order but they're usually sectioned properly, but for some reason one of his affinity chats was way in the wrong place) and I ended up closely paying attention to which one i was looking at and before i knew it i posted all of them lmao. . . .
Hello: (the first time the game is opened after that character is set as home screen NPC. Only happens once per day, unless the character is switched out and back.)
"{PC}, hey! Here's to another day vibing our way through curse twin life!"
You've Got Mail: (whenever there's something in the inbox, usually Arena rewards)
"Huh? Did you know you've got unread messages? Oh, that's why you've been leaving me on delivered! Ahaha!"
no that's just because my adhd makes me hyperfocus on things and it refuses to allow me to attempt to allot attention or energy to things it deems me not having enough attention span or energy or time for and i'm sorry--
Default: (requires no affinity, has no time constraints)
"Aw c'mon Ed, again? Why does he always leave his socks on the floor... It's actually exhausting picking up after him all the time..."
lazy sloppy vampire lol
"You look kind of tired {PC}, you doing okay? Why don't you stop by the bar later? I can be your shoulder to cry on."
"Hey! You on break now? If you're super nice and you're gonna come chill with me now, put your hands up!"
"{PC}...were you just checking me out? Hey, it's all good, don't be embarrassed!"
"Oof, Ed popped out of nowhere so I accidentally touched him and he died again. Now I have to carry him all the way back to the dorm..."
i love the face he makes when he says this lmao like he is so tired of Ed's carelessness!
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Affinity 1: (between 5am and 11am)
"{PC}! Did you come here to see me first thing? No way! You just made my day!"
Affinity 2: (between 11am and 4pm)
"Aw c'mon, Ed, what are you doing sleeping out here? Didn't you just take a nap, old man? You're gonna catch a cold!"
Affinity 3: (between 4pm and 8pm)
"Oh hey, it's {PC}! Can't believe I ran into you here, so random! Guess we've gotta go on a date now, huh? It's like, written in the stars!"
i love flirty characters like rui lolol just. there's always More Going On there. and Rui starts off with More right off the bat.
Affinity 4: (between 8pm and 5am)
"I can touch the plants as long as I have gloves on! I mean yeah, I'm pretty sure the same goes for people, but don't you think it'd be scary to test it out?"
Affinity 5: (between 8pm and 5am)
"Come swing by the bar later! I'd rather watch a pretty face like yours while I work instead of a bunch of drunk guys."
Affinity 6: (between 4pm and 8pm)
"What? Ed was praising my good looks? I mean he's right, right? People always tell me my face is my only redeeming feature!"
but rui works so hard!? who's saying that!!
Affinity 7: (between 11am and 4pm)
"Oh sorry, I don't do the whole class thing! You go, I'm all good here!"
Affinity 8: (between 4pm and 8pm)
"Ouch! Aw man, that rose thorn just scratched my arm... Wait, nooo! My rose bushes are wilting!!"
it's so easy for him to accidentally kill anything lmaoooo
Affinity 9: (between 8pm and 5am)
"Are you out here by yourself, {PC}? Isn't that like not super dangerous? ...Wait, did that make sense? Whatever, let me walk you back!"
Affinity 10: (between 10pm and midnight)
"Sorry! A drunk customer broke a glass, so I'm cleaning it up! Everyone's a little pent-up lately, I guess."
Affinity 11: (between 5am and 11am)
"Watering plants in the AM is such a mood lift, right? Whoa, everything's blooming like crazy out here! Better get my pruning shears."
it's a testament to how well he takes care of these plants that they grow super well in permanently-night Obscuary, i think. 8'D
Affinity 12: (between 11am and 4pm)
"Huh? Look, you've got loose threads on your uniform. Give it to me, I'll fix it for you!"
Affinity 13: (between 4pm and 8pm)
"Hey, {PC}, did you eat yet? My door's always open! You can just stay the night after!"
damn already inviting you to stay over at affinity 13--just don't share the bed, you'll wake up super dead
Affinity 14: (between 5am and 11am)
"(yawn) Wow, I am dead tired... but I've gotta take a shower, make breakfast, and do the laundry before those two sleepyheads get up."
it takes a real man to be a single mother. . . .
Affinity 15: (between 5am and 11am)
"Oh hey, what's your poison? Wait, I mean, morning! Man, I tried to take my friend's drink order when we were hanging out yesterday too, occupational hazard I guess."
Affinity 16: (between 11am and 4pm)
"A mission? I'm good, thanks though! Oh hey, you should invite Lyca! He'd totally be into that!"
Lyca also probably needs them to pass the grade lol
Affinity 17: (between 10pm and midnight)
"No way, look at the time! Wish I could keep listening to you talk... Wanna stay over?"
Affinity 18: (between 8pm and 5am)
"Oh man, I'm sorry! I'm closing early, I've got plans with a friend tonight. It'd be awesome if you could come by tomorrow!"
Affinity 19: (between 10pm and midnight)
"Congrats on making it through another day, {PC}! I seriously admire you for working so hard. You're not doing this all for me, are you?"
Affinity 20: (between 5am and 11am)
"Morning! Whoa, you wanna help me with the housework, {PC}? It's all good, thanks though! The thought's more than enough for me."
c'mon, refusing help at affinity 20? let the pc be your little helper at least!
Affinity 21: (between 11am and 4pm)
"Obscuary looks like it'd be full of downers, but it's actually pretty lively in there, right? Not gonna lie, I def prefer it that way."
Affinity 22: (between 4pm and 8pm)
"Lyca's an open book, but the flip side is he says the darndest things... I feel like watching him is bad for my heart..."
he talks so much about his teammates, he really is such a mom. . . .
Affinity 23: (between 8pm and 5am)
"My eyes are red? Huh, that's weird... Oh yeah, I was cutting onions just now when I was preparing the appetizers for the bar!"
. . .idk this is pretty high affinity. . .you were crying about something weren't you rui. . .or romeo paid you in weed and you were getting tweaked up in the back of the bar
Affinity 24: (between 10pm and midnight)
"Oh, don't worry about me, I always sleep late! I'm down to chat till you drift off to dreamland."
Affinity 25(max): (no time constraints)
"Sometimes I wish I could've met you as a regular guy. I guess you wouldn't have given me the time of day if I had though, ahaha."
is it just me or. . .does it feel like he gets a little more distant as his affinity gets higher? like after affinity 17 it feels like he gets a little less flirty and a little more at arms length. . .like he knows his feelings are getting so strong that he might not be able to resist touching you, but he's too scared to do it even with the gloves on. . .so he tries to keep you a little further away. . .and then he admits it, he wishes he could be with you like a normal person, but if he were just some flirt in the street none of this would have ever happened. Poor Rui, he's cursed to be beloved but unable to give love how he wants in return.
Spring: (March-May) (between 5am and 11am)
"Oh man, so nice... The weather's like perfect this time of year, right? Wish we could just chill like this forever."
(between 11am and 4pm)
"Man, you wouldn't even know it was spring with how bleak it is in Obscuary! Aren't there any cuter anomalous plants out there?"
(between 4pm and 8pm)
"I feel like Ed's getting more senile every day... Maybe I should confiscate his tablet."
(between 8pm and 5am)
"So, what do you think of my spring-inspired cocktail? Almost as cute as you, right? I'm gonna add it to the menu!"
Summer: (June-August) (between 5am and 11am)
"C'mon! It's summer, how can the sun never rise in Obscuary!? I wanna get a tan!"
(between 11am and 4pm)
"It's not summer if you don't hit the beach! I used to go all the time back when I surfed. And then I'd pick up girls on my way home... Just kidding, I promise!"
why 'just kidding' lolol you're not together! this relationship is not monogamous even if you were!
(between 4pm and 8pm)
"Ta-da! I've got sparklers! Fireworks are fun and all, but there's something special about holding a light that only sparkles for a hot moment."
(between 8pm and 5am)
"It's so hot out, I bet the bar's gonna be a ghost town... Guess I'll send Harurin and Romi a PR message!"
reaching out to the local population of alcoholic ghouls to remind them to give him business lol
Autumn: (September-November) (between 5am and 11am)
"There's so many dead leaves this time of year, it's a nightmare keeping on top of them! But you can use them to make a fire and roast stuff. Gotta look on the brights!"
(between 11am and 4pm)
"Hey {PC}, when are you free? I have a date idea for us—a romantic walk to admire the fall leaves! I'll pack us a lunch!"
(between 4pm and 8pm)
"Oh damn! You look so cute all bundled up like that, {PC}! We've gotta take a selfie together!"
direct contrast to romeo who sees you in winterwear and calls you a fat slug kekw
(between 8pm and 5am)
"That piano anomaly makes the soundtrack for the bar! The song picks really tug at the heartstrings, right?"
Winter: (December-February) (between 5am and 11am)
"You're a little late today, huh? If you can't get up in the cold, I could be your alarm!"
just gotta be really loud since he'd be too afraid to touch you awake, since he actually wants you to y'know wake up--
(between 11am and 4pm)
"Oh man, how is Lyca so full of energy when it's this cold? You should take him to Frostheim and see if he runs around in the snow like a puppy."
rui pointing at lyca: that dog is my son please take care of him
(between 4pm and 8pm)
"Nothing like winter to make you miss the warmth of human touch... Oh, I'm good! Just getting to talk like this is all I need!"
BBY WE ARE ALL BUNDLED UP. YOU CAN HUG YOU'VE BOTH PROBABLY GOT ON AT LEAST TWO LAYERS JUST DON'T TOUCH FACES.
(between 8pm and 5am)
"Here, this Rui-original hot cocktail will warm you up! I'll blow on it for you, free of charge!"
is this the next step after gamer bathwater. host club host breath.
His birthday: (March 14th)
"Yeah, it's my birthday today! Oh damn, you're gonna celebrate it with me!? No way, I'm like, super touched right now!!"
Your birthday:
"{PC}... Happy birthday!! C'mon, birthday girl, sit down and chill out! This is your day, you should take it easy!"
New Years: (January 1st)
"Happy New Year! Want to start the year off on a high and come on a shrine date with me?"
Valentine's Day: (February 14th)
"Oh damn, are these for me? My heart! Is this your way of professing your love to me? Do I have a shot here?"
White Day: (March 14th)
"Ta-da! Happy White Day! This is for you! What's inside? You've gotta open it and find out!"
April Fool's Day: (April 1st)
"Guess what!? I finally broke my curse! Let's hold hands... just kidding! April Fools!"
this feels more like a joke on him than on you. . .a mean one at that lol
Halloween: (October 31st)
"Happy happy happy Halloween!! Trick or treat! Obviously I'm picking trick, ahaha!"
Christmas: (December 25th)
"Merry Christmas, {PC}! Oh man, I must be like, super blessed to get to spend it with you!"
Idle: (about 20 seconds without interacting with the game) (below 13 affinity)
"Hey, hey, hey! We finally get to spend some time together, it's illegal to take your eyes off me!"
(13 affinity and above)
"{PC}? You seem kind of busy, guess I'll take this chance to get some work done…"
Absent: (logging in for the first time in 2 or more days?)
"{PC}, you're back! I was worried you'd forgotten about me!!"
he's so flirty and clingy, but also he can't be clingy because he's scared you'll die if he touches you, even if he's wearing gloves. . .also surely your curse would cancel out his? Then again I'm sure a reaper i stronger than any other [living] anomaly out there. . . .
but. yeah. rui's a darling haha he just. he's another one of the 'i just wanna be a regular person, i wanna go back to normal' characters whose desire to just be a guy makes him special in a more fantastical world. i'm really looking forward to seeing the Obscuary chapter--probably like a month away, right? 'u'
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strwbmei · 6 months ago
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i can't get kafka off the brain, she's so attractive 😭 she'd be such a huge brat, testing your patience all the time with that smug grin. she deserves to get tied up, gagged, spanked, humiliated and fucked until she's crying and promising to be good 💞 she's 100% a masochist
-🌧️
I am so sorry. This was only supposed to be a short, 2-4 paragraph thirst, but then it turned into pure filth 😭😭😭 Also a bit extreme compared to other things I've written, so it might not be to most people's tastes
nsfw utc (fem reader with strap on, bondage, dom/sub dynamics, use of toys, spanking, dacriphilia, not proofread)
She'd probably rile you up on purpose just for that. There's nothing she wants more than to just lay there and get fucked senselessly until she inevitably ruins the sheets, and she knows you're perfectly willing to accommodate her. Still, getting what she wants so easily would be so boring, wouldn't it? It's not fun if you aren't seething with a kind of irritation only Kafka could make you feel and if she still has some form of control of her body.
It'd start with you tying Kafka up, a bullet vibrator pressed onto her clit. The way her moans sound through the gag is delightful; they show how much of a whore she is for you. You watch her with disinterest and indifference in her eyes, fully clothed as opposed to how the only things Kafka is wearing are a ball gag and fancy ropes of silk the color of your eyes (something she insisted on) digging into her curves and currently unblemished skin.
It's humiliating, really, being forced to feel all vulnerable and owned—but both of you know just how much she loves that. Maybe if you're in a good mood, you'll even let her cum once or twice tonight. Kafka doubts that, though, especially with how bratty she's been acting. Your patience has its limits, and Kafka wants nothing more than to push you over the very brink of it. She starts begging, vulgar and wanton; almost mocking in its tone.
Kafka thinks you've finally given in when you remove the vibrator from her puffy clit. She prides herself in her beauty, after all. No one would be able to resist her "charms" for long... right? Wrong. Instead, you push her down, knees bent so her face is pressed into the mattress while her hips are up in the air. When you start spanking her ass, she begs for the bullet vibrator again. Her abused cunt just feels so empty, fluttering around nothing as your hand leaves yet another mark on her ass. She's already so overstimulated, and you've barely even started.
The woman endures, locks of hair the color of her most favored wine cascading along her back as each moan becomes more strained than the last. Anticipation fills her lust-addled head as she feels the tip of your length rubbing against her folds. You relish in the way her back arches as you finally insert the strap-on inside her neglected cunt, not to mention the drawn-out moan she lets out. God, you're sure her facial expression right now is downright sinful—you can tell by how she's clawing at the bedsheets and eagerly moving her hips to chase yours.
But you don't move.
Why would you? Did Kafka think you'd be nice to her after all that she's done? Her whines are barely audible through the ball gag, but you hear her mention something about "how mean you always are to her." Funny. You've been patient with all of her bullshit for as long as you've remembered, yet now you're the mean one. You were planning to be a bit lenient since you felt bad for her, but she can wave goodbye to any chance of being able to use either her voice or her legs for the next few days.
"Move," you command her. "Don't you think it's time you stopped relying on me to get you off?" Kafka whimpers at your words, looking back at you with glossy eyes. You can't help but snicker in response. It's rare to see her so desperate and needy to be filled. Maybe you should do this more often? She never really learns her lesson, after all. Realizing you weren't gonna budge on your decision, she rocks her hips as much as she can with her limited range of movement. She can feel each vein and bump of the fake toy rubbing against her walls, but it just isn't enough.
It's not rough enough. Not fast enough. Not deep enough. Nowhere close to being enough, but Kafka submits to the humiliation nonetheless. She can't bring herself to care anymore, too focused on making sure to savor each and every bit of pleasure she's feeling. You look at how fervently she's fucking herself on the fake cock, and think of how you've each turned the other into fully fledged perverts. Kafka wasn't this much of a masochist before she ended up in your bed. Or was it hers? You don't remember.
She never understood the people who liked getting hurt. Kafka used to find the marks that ropes left on her skin itchy and unbearable, but now she loves reliving the memories of lust and passion whenever she sees them. She wears them with pride. You, on the other hand—have never felt like more of a degenerate. You catch yourself wanting to break her; to ruin her for anybody else. You desire to know her body in a way completely exclusive to you. You want to own her; mind, body, and soul.
The past few minutes are a blur. Without realizing, you've been fucking Kafka senseless as she sobs from the overstimulation. The smell of sex fills the air as does the sound of your hips colliding with the fat of her ass. You thrust as quickly as you can, much to the other woman's pleasure, but the tightness of her pussy makes it more difficult than it usually is. You've been holding her over the brink for a while now—you're not sure how long exactly, but enough for her legs to be shaking and for her knees to give out. If not for your hands settling themselves on her waist, she would've toppled over. Kafka is powerless, and she loves it.
When you see her cum form a white ring on the base of your strap, you know you've found another excuse to fuck her dumb, and you plan on making full use of it.
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writerslittlelibrary · 1 year ago
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I'm your mother now, chapter 1
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masterlist series masterlist
part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7 part 8
summary: when you wake up in a strange room, you soon come to realize the amazing Black Widow, who appears to be the perfect role model for girls all around the world, is greatly deranged…
pairing: Dark!Natasha x teen reader
warnings: yelling, a lot of swearing, dark themes, kinda evil Natasha
genre: angst
words: 2972
a/n: I really wanted to write a dark Natasha fic but I didn't want to make it romantic or anything, so I went with the idea of Natasha kidnapping a child. Please don't read this if you are not comfortable with dark themes. Reader is kinda abused but that's because of Natasha's trauma.
Hope you enjoy, and please let me know what you think :)
(I decided to make this a series, as I have so many ideas but find them simply too long for one fic. I will probably make a separate masterlist for the series) 
You do not have my permission to repost, copy or translate my work 
 |——————————— ⴵ ———————————|
You dropped your bag on the floor, kicking your shoes off and walking through the house, allowing yourself to fall on the couch in exhaustion. You were in highschool, and no matter what teacher you'd ask, they all called you their best student.
You passed every test, got good grades for every project, but mentally you were slipping. You hated your life. You hated the stupid loop you were trapped in. Every day is the same. You were tired. 
Your foster parents were scheduled to come home after dinner, so you knew you'd be able to lie on the couch for a while without being yelled at.
So that's what you did. 
You took a nap on the couch, enjoying the quietness of the house, when a noise upstairs catches you off guard. 
You get up slowly, carefully walking up the stairs. You had seen horror movies, and you knew what a bad idea it was, yet you decided to do it anyway. You creeped up the stairs, through the hallway and made it to your bedroom. It was small and there weren't many places to hide, but you were cautious anyway. 
Your window was open. The curtain was moving slightly due to the breeze outside. A shiver ran down your back. You had that feeling again. The same feeling you've had for the past few weeks. The feeling of being watched. 
You walked to your window carefully, pushing it close and locking it. Didn't you lock it yesterday?
Before you could even turn around, an arm clasped around your waist and a hand holding a cloth covered your mouth and nose. You tried to scream and try to get out of the person's grip, but it was of little use. The person holding you was strong. Way stronger than you were. 
You flung around in their grasp, trying to hit the arms that were holding you, but it was of no use. You heard a woman's voice behind you, shushing you and telling you it's all gonna be okay. Your eyes started drooping, falling close. The last thing you heard was a simple sentence….
“Shh baby, mama's got you…” 
-------------------------------------------------------------
Natasha had been observing you for weeks. She saw you in the park one day, sitting on a bench. You appeared to be okay, but she could see the way you were holding back tears. It took everything in her not to walk up to you and comfort you. 
After that day, she decided to watch you more often. She watched you when you picked out your clothes. She watched you when you went to school. She watched you when you came home and got yelled at. She watched all of it. 
After watching you for about a week, she decided to do some more research. She had to know everything about you. You were absolutely perfect.
She found out about your parents, how they left you in front of the police station one night. They didn't want you, and Natasha's heart broke. The foster families you were placed with didn't care much for you either. You were often heavily neglected, and you never knew real love. 
From what Natasha had seen, you were barely capable of taking care of yourself. She wondered how often you showered, how often you ate and if you even brushed your teeth. 
No one seemed to have taught you how to live, and it broke Natasha's heart. She was determined to make you feel loved. She knew it was fate. She had to take care of you. It was simply meant to be. 
Natasha had been trying to have a child for so long. After her past in the Red Room, she knew she'd never be able to conceive herself, but she had tried everything there was. She had gone to adoption agencies and tried to adopt. She had applied to become a foster mom but nothing worked. She'd pass most criteria, but when the psychological tests came her test scores dropped. The authorities simply deemed her to mentally unstable to take care of a child.
Natasha was mad. Mad at the authorities and mad at herself. She just wanted a child. That's all she's ever wanted. How on earth did anyone dare deny her that.
After she was denied for foster care, she was upset, but she didn't dare give up. Natasha was determined that she would find someone for her to take care of, and she did. Anyone in their right mind could see it. You were destined to be with Natasha. 
After observing you for quite a while, Natasha decided it was time. You were crying almost every night, the stress of school and your grades were simply too much. Natasha couldn't bear to see you like this any longer, so she finally decided to make her move. She snuck in when you were at school. She didn't even have to sneak in through the window. The doors had an easy lock, and she could easily pick it open. 
When she made her way inside, she immediately went up to your room. She looked through it, smelling your clothes, touching your bed and everything you owned, which wasn't a lot. 
She clutched your only stuffed animal tightly to her chest, a tear rolling down her cheek. She was finally going to be a mom, and she couldn't wait. 
She collected some of your stuff, but only the stuff she couldn't replace, which included some notebooks, coloring books and your stuffed animal of course. She stuffed it in a bag and put all of it in her car. After she finished, she made her way back inside and waited. 
When she heard you come home, she was nearly jumping at the anticipation and excitement. 
She started making some noises, hoping you'd come upstairs soon. She had opened the window in your room, knowing you'd walk over to close it. You did that every day. If you forgot to close the window, you'd close it after coming home from school. 
Soon enough, she heard you walking upstairs, peeking through the door of the bathroom. She waited until you went into your bedroom, indeed closing the window as she expected.
The moment you weren't looking, she snuck into your room and quickly covered your face, making you inhale the Chloroform she'd put on the cloth. You were flailing around heavily, trying to get loose from her grasp, but she just held on tight. 
Natasha tried to comfort you, shushing you as you slowly lost consciousness. 
After you had passed out, she carefully lifted you up, walking down the stairs and, after grabbing your school bag, walking back to her car. She was careful as she placed you on the backseat, protecting your head as you slept peacefully. 
She placed your stuffed animal in your arms, smiling at the sight of you fast asleep. She got into the driver's seat and took off, driving you two far away from the big city.
-------------------------------------------------------------
You groaned as the light hit your eyes, covering them with your hand as you blinked a few times, trying to get used to it. You stretched your arms above your head, slowly waking up from your deep slumber. 
The bed you were laying on was soft, way softer and more comfortable than you were used to, but you didn't really notice. The drugs were still wearing off, your brain pleasantly fuzzy as you slowly regained control over all of your senses. 
When you yawned and brought your hand up to your face, you finally realized the clothes you were wearing were not yours. 
You sat up quickly, scanning the room and realizing it looked nothing like yours. It was way too big, but it did seem to be arranged to your style and interests. You took in the room, confused as to how you got there and why it seemed to be accommodated perfectly to your wants and needs.��
You slowly slid your legs off the bed, sitting on the edge and carefully standing up, afraid your weary state would make you fall over. The pajamas you were wearing were soft and seemed to be made out of an expensive silk. 
You slowly stood up, walking around the room slightly. You thought you were dreaming. When you looked out the window, there was nothing but trees. You appeared to be in some clearing in the woods. You checked out the room, noticing how the books on the shelf looked an awful lot like the books you owned, except the books in this room seemed to be new and neat. 
It confused you, and when you turned around, you noticed the bedding was the same bedding as you'd always had, just for a queen sized bed. 
There were three doors in the room, and you ran to the closest one. When you opened it you found a closet, probably as big as your room back home. When you opened the next, you found a bathroom. It looked almost impossibly clean and the shower looked like it came straight from a millionaire's home.
When you opened the third door, you finally stood in a hallway. When you looked right, you saw another door, which was probably where the hallway ended, so you decided to go left. You walked fast, wanting to get out of the house as fast as possible. 
You were very confused by the whole situation. You remembered someone kidnapping you, but these were not the circumstances you expected to wake up in.
When you stormed down the stairs, you could see a kitchen on your right. You spotted a door right in front of you. It looked like the front door, so you immediately ran towards it, trying to open it. It didn't budge. You'd need a code, a finger scan and voice recognition. You sighed as you leaned your forehead against it. 
After standing there for a solid 5 minutes, you decided to explore the rest of the house. 
You reckoned you were alone, as no one had approached you yet, even when you tried to leave the house. You slowly walked into the kitchen, from it spotting a living area with a few couches, and on top of it, you saw a redhead. 
You froze when you saw her, unable to move or talk as fear overtook your body. 
“Ah, good. I was wondering when you'd wake up. I was thinking of ordering take-out. Just come over here and we can pick something,” the woman spoke as if she'd known you for years.
You didn't move, so the woman turned around, putting her book aside and getting up. She walked towards you slowly, but she didn't seem worried she'd scare you away. “You don't want take-out?” she questioned, putting her phone on the kitchen island. You stood next to it as she now stood in front of it, crossing her arms. 
“Where am I?” you shakily asked, worried you'd upset her. You knew the woman, of course. Every person in the world knew her. She was Natasha Romanoff. The Black Widow and fearless Avengers, although she retired a few years back. 
“What do you mean, silly? You're home of course,” Natasha spoke, looking confused as to why'd you even ask such a question. 
You frowned. “This isn't my home?...” Natasha shook her head. “Of course it is.” “Why did you kidnap me?” Natasha shook her head at your question. “I just brought you home, sweetie.”
“What the fuck?! Take me home!” you yelled, and she looked a little surprised before her expression went back to normal.
“I know it's your first day here, but you do not speak to me like that. Do you understand?” she responded, but it only made you madder. “Who the fuck do you think I am? Let me go, you crazy bitch!” you yelled as you tried to push her, but Natasha easily caught your wrists. 
“Careful honey. I know you're confused but that is no way to speak to your mother.” “You're not my fucking mother-”
Slap.
Natasha had slapped you across the face. Your head turned from the impact, your cheek almost immediately reddening. tears stung in your eyes as you moved your hand up to cup your cheek, a silent sob wrecking through your body.
“I am a very lenient person, but don't you ever dare speak to me in such a tone again,” she said. “Now go sit on the couch and think about what you want to order for take-out dammit.” 
You moved slowly, keeping your head down as you sat on one of the couches, silently crying over the situation. After a few minutes, Natasha returned from the kitchen, holding an ice-pack. She grabbed your chin and tilted your face up without a word, pressing the ice-pack against your red cheek. She softly smiled down at you, using her free hand to pet the hair out of your face. 
You sniffled, and she leaned down to give you a kiss on your forehead. “Mama didn't want to hurt you like that sweetheart, but you took it too far,” she said, pulling back and smiling down at you again. “Mama loves you. I promise.” She pulled the ice-pack away and softly kissed your cheek.
She put the ice-pack on the coffee table and sat on the couch to your right. She pulled out her phone from her back pocket and seemed to scroll through something.
“So what are you feeling like?” she asked, looking at you with a smile. You sniffled quietly, looking down to avoid her gaze. “We could do burgers, or maybe sushi? I know those are your favorites,” she told you, and you instantly wondered how she'd know such a thing. 
“Come on. Tell me what you want,” she urged, nodding slightly to encourage you. 
“Fries…” you said quietly, and Natasha smiled. “Exactly what I was feeling. Would you like chicken nuggets on the side?” she asked you, and you nodded. “Perfect,” she said as she typed it into her phone, paying quickly and tossing it aside.
“The food will be here soon. Would you like to watch a movie while we wait, or would you rather explore the house a bit more?” she asked, patiently waiting for your answer.
You shrugged, not wanting to pick an option that might make her mad. “We can also just sit here for a while. I know you must be confused, but I promise you everything will fall right into place.”
You were mad. Mad at how Natasha acted like everything was fine. Mad at how she acted like she had any authority over you. Mad at how she'd slapped you. Mad at how she was acting like she was your mother. Mad at how she seemed unbothered and acted like your behavior was insane. But mostly, you were mad at yourself. Mad how you looked up to her. Looked up to the amazing Black Widow. She had always been your favorite Avengers. How could she not be?
After sitting on the couch for a few minutes, you looked up slowly, seeing Natasha staring at you with a smile on her face. 
“Would you like to watch something now?” She asked, holding up the remote. When the hell did she grab that? You nodded slightly, and Natasha smiled widely at you for it. She pressed a few buttons on the remote, and soon the tv lit up with your favorite show ready to play. Natasha pressed play, and the show started exactly where you stopped last night.
You sat quietly as you watched the show, scared to make any noises. 
After about an hour, there was a knock on the door, and Natasha got up to open it. “Just wait here,” she said as she walked away. You got up from the couch and peeked around the wall, seeing the door and catching a glimpse of a blonde woman. 
She didn't look like a delivery person, and you realized Natasha must've called someone she knew to make sure no one knew the location of the house.
The woman handed Natasha the take-out bag and they spoke for a moment, before she moved to give Natasha a hug. They hugged for a second and Natasha kissed the woman's cheek. You watched as they said their goodbye's, hearing Natasha say she'll visit the blonde woman soon. 
You quickly made your way back to the couches, sitting back down and waiting for Natasha to come back.
Once she did, she set the take-out on the kitchen counter. You watched silently as she moved around the kitchen, grabbing two plates and opening the bag. “Just so you know, I see and hear everything. Don't sneak up on me again. You're old enough to ask when you want something,” Natasha spoke, not looking up from her task of plating the food.
Your breath caught in your throat. You should've known. She used to be an assassin for goodness sake. Of course she could tell if you'd watch her. 
Natasha grabbed the two plates and brought them back to the couches. She handed one to you, but when you went to grab it she didn't let it go. You looked at her, and she raised an eyebrow to you. “Thank you…” you said silently, and she smiled as she let you take the plate, moving to sit down herself. 
You ate in silence, not missing the glances Natasha shot your way. You found it creepy. You had no idea why you were here and what Natasha wanted with you. She had referred to herself as your mother a few times now, and it confused you beyond words. 
For now, you decided to let the confusion go, focusing on eating your food and surviving the night. 
Who knows what tomorrow would bring…
chapter 2
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huellitaa · 1 month ago
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long list of little things to do for urself 🧸🎀🫶✨
🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 1. wash ur bedding, towels, curtains, etc.
🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ 2. fill up ur shopping baskets on every site possible
🫶🏻𓂃 ࣪˖ 3. clean out cosmetics and skincare
🧁𓂃 ࣪˖ 4. start a project of something you love
⭐𓂃 ࣪˖ 5. browse cute pets to buy one day
💬𓂃 ࣪˖ 6. impulsively rearrange ur space
🩷𓂃 ࣪˖ 7. light some candles (if u arent deathly afraid of fire)
🐇𓂃 ࣪˖ 8. clean out your purse and every day bag
🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ 9. make a pillow fort
🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 10. redo all ur playlists and clean them all out
🫶🏻𓂃 ࣪˖ 11. lay on the floor and sing ur fav songs for 3 hours
🧁𓂃 ࣪˖ 12. make a recipe book (even if u cant cook)
⭐𓂃 ࣪˖ 13. clean ur mirrors and windows
💬𓂃 ࣪˖ 14. write a debate about a topic you feel strongly on
🩷𓂃 ࣪˖ 15. create some art to go on ur walls
🐇𓂃 ࣪˖ 16. stick up some old photos or cute things and decorate ur walls
🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ 17. polish ur jewelry
🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 18. write a huge essay on something you know nothing about
🫶🏻𓂃 ࣪˖ 19. watch a virtual concert (youtube - tiny desk is v good!)
🧁𓂃 ࣪˖ 20. make urself a big fruit platter
🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ 21. read a parenting book and see how you can incorporate the tips mentioned into how u treat urself
🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 22. mend ur old clothes or get someone to help u fix them
🫶🏻𓂃 ࣪˖ 23. read a book w a flashlight and happy music under a blanket
🧁𓂃 ࣪˖ 24. host a tea party w ur plushies and old toys
⭐𓂃 ࣪˖ 25. study ur horoscope for this month and how u can use it to ur advantage
💬𓂃 ࣪˖ 26. go thrifting and window shopping and take photos on ur phone of the things you want to create a visual wishlist
🩷𓂃 ࣪˖ 27. sort through ur books, cds, clothes, etc.; organise and throw out!
🐇𓂃 ࣪˖ 28. perform a concert in ur bedroom of ur fav album ever
🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ 29. dress up and create the most elaborate, unhinged outfits you possibly can
🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 30. start a blog or site on something you care about
🫶🏻𓂃 ࣪˖ 31. contemplate ur core philosophies and question what is the meaning of life and what you're living for
🧁𓂃 ࣪˖ 32. spend all day reading a random pdf book ur never gonna find again
⭐𓂃 ࣪˖ 33. plan out ur dream wedding online
💬𓂃 ࣪˖ 34. fully examine ur body and make sure everything's working and looking fine
🩷𓂃 ࣪˖ 35. create outfits within a specific theme and try them on
🐇𓂃 ࣪˖ 36. go online shopping for clothes and make outfits w the things you find even if you don't like them
🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ 37. make a playlist of all the songs u used to love when you were younger
🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 38. build a tower out of stationery or anything you can find and make it as tall as you can
🫶🏻𓂃 ࣪˖ 39. take a picture of something ur grateful for wherever you go
🧁𓂃 ࣪˖ 40. live out ur daydreams on pinterest and make random boards of random lifestyles or dreams you have or are interested in
⭐𓂃 ࣪˖ 41. organise ur digital storage like apps, google drive, documents, photos, desktop, games, consoles, etc.
💬𓂃 ࣪˖ 42. randomly set a reminder for somewhen in the future that you can think of saying that everything will be okay
🩷𓂃 ࣪˖ 43. have a park day without ur phone and make ur own entertainment
🐇𓂃 ࣪˖ 44. find ur enneagram number, do ur myers briggs test, study ur birth chart, find out more about urself bcuz ur the most important subject you could ever study
🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ 45. write down ur biggest, wildest dreams with no bounds whatsoever
🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 46. attentively track ur moods for a day or a few; take note of how ur feeling every few hours, note it down and ask urself what impacts it to change and fluctuate
🫶🏻𓂃 ࣪˖ 47. educate urself in whats going on in the world right now
🧁𓂃 ࣪˖ 48. learn about the history of ur home town
⭐𓂃 ࣪˖ 49. create a list of all ur favourite things and rank them like cosmetics, perfumes, bands, foods, drinks, etc.
💬𓂃 ࣪˖ 50. make a music video playlist to play on ur tv
all my love... 💬🎀🫶🏻💗
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126 notes · View notes
ywpd-translations · 4 days ago
Text
Ride 796: The strongest cheer!!
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Pag 1
4: You're coming soon, huh, Onoda?
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Pag 2
1: Beyond the
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Pag 3
1: “peak of their limits”!!
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Pag 4
1: Here at the point of 300m left until the mountain stage line!! Gaha!!
3: I think I've seen him before, that huge guy there
That's Tadokoro! He was a third year when Sohoku won two years ago!
Ahh... the one who won the green bib!
4: Oh, it's you?
Did you see that?
5: Tadokoro Jin
6: Any time now!! They're almost here, I can feel it on my skin
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Pag 5
1: The wave of cheers is getting closer with huge pressure!!
3: The two people in the lead are passing the 500m left point, and Manami is accelerating!! And he's getting a little ahead!!
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Pag 6
1: They passed the 400m left mark!!
Gooo Kanagawa!!
Sohoku is being left behind!!
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Pag 7
1: Hakogaku's Manami accelerated!!
2: I'm hanging up, Toudou!!
4: This is the most difficult distance
What are you gonna do, Onoda? You're being left behind!!
Come on up
If you don't catch up now, it's over!!
5: It's you, can do it, right, Onoda!?
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Pag 8
1: Turn your legs, Onoda!!
Persist, Onoda!!
3: “The right way”....
4: “The right way of life”, where does it lead? I don't know...
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Pag 9
1: You're wondering who I came to cheer on this Inter High first day with!? Here in Kyuusu
2: It's Toudou!! The former climber of Hakone Academy1?
3: After graduating from Sohoku, I failed the entrance test for Meisou, so I enrolled in Tsukushiba University
But it didn't have a bicycle racing team
4: As I was going through hell, he appeared right before my eyes
5: It was Toudou!!
Pff, he hanged up, that Tadokoro Jin
6: He was in the same university, and moreover he was already founding the bicycle racing team himself!!
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Pag 10
1: Thanks to him I could come back to the world of racing!!
2: And then this year, that Izumida who I raced against at the Inter High when I was a third year, enrolled in the same university as a first year!!
3: I don't get it
4: It's unpredictable!!
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Pag 11
1: So you too, line up to Manami, and then pass him!!
2: After all you're the first one who “doesn't know the right way of life”!!
3: Kinjou said it, you're the “element of surprise”!!
The strongest beginner!!
4: You joined the club with Naruko, and you were an humble and little guy
5: I asked Imaizumi after that
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Pag 12
1: And apparently you were planning on joining the anime research club!!
What a course of events!!
2: You received your road bike while running in the first years' race
Kinjou pushed your back
3: You caught up to Naruko and Imaizumi and then you surpassed Imaizumi at the mountain's peak
4: Honestly, I thought you would stop soon...
What's with this guy...
What's his driving force when runing
He didn't win, but he didn't lose either
I was interested
5: You became a Inter High member, and on the first day... and you caught up to us after falling from your bike
You pulled the team and supported Makishima during the mountain stage
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Pag 13
1: And then, on the second day....
My condition was bad and I couldn't move, and you waited for me
2: I came to help you, Tadokoro-san
We'll definitely catch up
What are you doing
Go back right now
No... I...
3: You took me and ran
Do you mind if we pass that guy?
Well, yeah but... how do we pass him?
Can you please match with me and say “princess”?
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Pag 14
1: Princess princess princess!!
You sang a weird song
Because you, you're the princess!
One by one we passed the guys ahead
And then, carrying me with your little body
I'm so grateful to you I can't say it enough
I didn't think I would see those jerseys again with my own eyes
We're back, team Sohoku!!
you brought me back to the team!!
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Pag 15
1: And then Onoda....
3: The jersey we entrusted to him, our dream
4: he delivered them to the finish line!!
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Pag 16
1: That's why I came here!!
2: Are you going to pass on the first day's mountain stage? Since you're a sprinter. I think Manami and Glasses-kun are going to race
Huh!? Onoda!? Onoda will run!?
Then I'l deeefinitely come!!
Huh, is that so
3: Onoda!!
4: Deliver it!!
6: Since I couldn't do it last year!! I'll give it to you, third year and captain!! I'll give my all so that these loud cheer don't drown me out!!
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Pag 17
1: I'll sing!!
Lovely chance pettanko-chan!! ♪
Huh, he's singing!?
What!? He scared me
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Pag 18
2: He's suddenly singing an anime song?
Huh
What's that
3: Even with a spell to grow bigger ♪
Onoda
4: Can you hear this song?
If you can hear it
Hn hn hn ♪
5: A princess is a princess ♪
Come up, Onoda!!
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Pag 20
1: You're the princess♪
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Pag 23
1: Manami and Onoda came and they're neck and neck!!
Onoda is catching up!!
Mountain King..!!
Amazing!!
2: There are 300m left and they're neck and neck again!!
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Pag 24
1: A princess is a princess, that's who she is!! ♪
Onodaa!!
3: Ah, Tadokoro-san
4: Princess princess ♪
It's him
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Pag 25
1: I thought I heard it wrong
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Pag 26
1: Thank you so much!!
2: Onoda...!!
3: The right way is interesting
He really did it!!
4: You're struggling, having a tough time, yet your shape changes as you move forward
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Pag 27
1: We're headed to a future I never imagined!!
Give it your all!!
2: Onodaa!!
3: Yes!!
63 notes · View notes
lexi-the-demon-69 · 16 days ago
Note
Give me your relationship headcanons for Dark Choco and Dark Cacao immediately
Oh, man, I have too many awful headcanons for their relationship. I personally don't really like how so many people portray their relationship as wholesome when... it's really not. To me, their relationship was doomed from the start because Dark Cacao is just too busy and mentally unstable to even be a parent. I'm obviously not gonna mention my "Dark Cacao forgot his son's 5th birthday" headcanon again, so I'll just start with my other headcanons lol.
-----
1.) When Dark Choco was a child, he was left alone for days, with no one to look after him except for the watchers and a handful of servants here and there. The only time he would even get to see Dark Cacao was for training or studying to become a great king, just like him. The constant absence of Dark Cacao has left Dark Choco with very bad abandonment problems and an inferiority complex.
2.) After "The Birthday Incident" (*cough cough* Dark Cacao forgetting his son's 5th birthday *cough cough*), Dark Cacao decides to assign three maids to Dark Choco to entertain him and keep him company. Whenever Dark Cacao was too busy to be with his son, the maids would attend to the little prince to make him feel loved. If anything, Dark Choco still considers those maids as more parental figures than his own father to this very day.
3.) Whenever Dark Choco didn't do well on a training exercise or test, Dark Cacao would always ask his son why didn't he do better? Why didn't he go the extra mile to succeed like he did when he was his son's age? This behavior still persisted, even when Dark Choco did really well. Why didn't he get a perfect score? Why didn't he try harder? Dark Choco could never fully please Dark Cacao, never fulfilling his desire for a perfect heir who was just like him. To this day, Dark Choco has a constant fear of not being good enough.
4.) In the present, Dark Cacao and Dark Choco's relationship still hasn't fully healed. Many would even mistake them as brothers who constantly argue and fight, not father and son. Dark Cacao hasn't fully come to terms that he hasn't been a good father to Dark Choco, and Dark Choco is gaslighting himself into believing he forgives his father when he really doesn't. Dark Cacao hasn't shown him that he has changed his ways yet.
5.) As I've mentioned before, Dark Cacao and Dark Choco constantly bicker and fight with one another, even over the smallest things. Whether it be a traumatic memory or which path they need to take, an argument will start. Guess who's the one who defaults to calling the other one names... yeah, it's Dark Choco. It's somewhat hinted in Kingdom that Dark Choco has a smug, snarky side to him and it will show whenever he argues with Dark Cacao.
"I have ripped your eye out once, I can rip that tongue out as well!" "I can only hope your back doesn't rip out of place while you make an attempt..."
------
I have so many more headcanons of these two, but I don't really feel like typing anymore lol.
61 notes · View notes
mortuarywriting · 7 months ago
Text
Falling into Place
Ao3 Link - [First] - [Next Chapter ->]
All things considered this isn't what you were expecting to wake up to when you went to bed. One minute you're on your phone, trying to pass out, and the next? You're here. You've had some interesting greetings in your life, but dropping about six feet and having twelve guns leveled at your face? That takes the cake
Warnings:
Reader Insert, Plus-Size Reader, The Author Regrets Everything, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Isekai, canon divergence Look we're gonna dig into the implications of omegasverse changing bits and pieces of history as well as addressing whatever the FUCK is happening as CoD's history. Idk man Godzilla is canon and nobody bats an eye at that fact and you think I'm gonna be normal about that? No
You could be having a worse day, you think, as you stare at the interrogation table you're cuffed to. They could've shot you the second you fell the six feet from the sky into a random army base. That's a very real thing that could've happened.
But no, you just had a dozen guns pointed at you in one moment and a slew of questions you didn't have satisfying answers for.
No, you had no idea how you got there. You'd been in bed tooling around on your phone and then you were falling.
They asked who you worked for, and were not impressed by your mundane answer. You didn't work for some pmc or intelligence organization. You asked them to their faces if they thought you could pass a PT test if you tried. Not that they answered or appreciated your point, mind.
It was only after you gave them whatever identifying information you had that things got… spicy.
"I would love to tell you what this designation of yours is if you tell me what you mean. Is it like a classification of civilian versus enlisted? Is it physical? Is it your horoscope? I don't know what I don't know," you explain again for the Nth time. You didn't wanna play twenty questions but here you fuckin were, captive audience and all.
The man asking you questions had lost his charming good cop look. He was getting more and more annoyed on this one, "your designation," a demand, not a question and sure as shit not an answer.
"Again, would love to tell you! I don't know what you mean! Feels like some kinda Star Wars thing," you grumble the last bit to yourself but the man cocks his head.
His eyes narrow, "what are… Star Wars, you said?"
You blink owlishly, "beg pardon?"
"Star War. Clarify."
It's your turn for your brow to furrow, and furrow it does, "Star Wars? As in the multi-billion dollar franchise created by George Lucas and eventually sold to Disney," your tone is questioning, just shy of asking if the guy lived under a rock but his expression didn't let up and the last thing you needed was bad cop, so you continued, "the story of what happened a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away? The political space series of movies versus Star Trek's more scientific and discovery based longstanding TV show? Nine major movies and the Clone Wars before Disney sunk their talons in. Like yeah we got more shows and movies that expanded the universe but they also cut out decades of book contributions in their acquisition and that kinda sucked. But yeah, that Star Wars?"
"Nine movies," his tone is disbelieving, and now it's your turn for your eyebrows to raise, "can you name them?"
You nod, "well yeah. Do you want them in episode order or release?"
His brows furrow, "did they not release in order?"
"In a sense? Three trilogies, 4-5-6 back in the late 70s early 80s, then 1-2-3 in the late 90s early 00s, and 7-8-9 through the teens. So order, yes, just… not a cohesive one."
"Release, then," he leaned back and crossed his arms, a position you'd love to mimic if you weren't cuffed to the table for… an indeterminate period of time now, actually.
"A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi-"
"Woah now, empire? What's a jeddy?"
You give him a blank look, trying very hard to mask your disbelief as you look between him and the mirror behind him. You look at your reflection, take a deep breath, and- "sir would it be easier for you to maybe check the internet?"
He seemed to bristle, nose flaring and looking at you expectantly.
You just… kinda sat there. You tapped your fingers together on the desk and kept the eye contact he was intent on. It took a good minute and him getting progressively pissier before you simply ask, "would you like the other movies now?"
You didn't expect an explosion of movement from the man. He downright snarled and slammed his hands on the table as he burst to his feet, the sudden change sending his chair screeching back before falling with a clatter. You leaned as far back as your cuffed hands would allow, eyes wide and a panic rising.
Both of you turned to look at the door when it slammed open with a barked, "Williams!" 
The man who opened it reared back a bit, "Christ, layin' it on a bit thick," he groused, his tone sounding more like someone chastising a teenager for using too much Axe body spray. He smoothed his posture back into something casual as he fanned the air dismissively with a hand, "cap wants you to take a walk."
Your interrogator- Williams, apparently- stares at the man in the door, the two locking eyes before the one in the door straightens from his purposely relaxed posture. You watch the both of them, noting the shoulders tensing as the two just. Staring at each other? Eventually the guy who'd been grilling you looked away and stormed out, the man in the doorway letting him slip out easily enough before turning a charming look back to you.
He took a minute to fan the door a few times to get newer, blissfully cool air in before he entered the room, "sorry 'bout him. He really did a number in here," the new guy tsked before closing the door quietly behind himself.
Your brow furrowed even as you slowly relaxed a bit, had this Williams guy like… farted or something? A nice quirk of ventilation keeping you from smelling something abhorrent? Either way you simply shrug as he walks in and tips the chair back up, sitting and giving another reassuring smile, "how you doing, love?"
You opened and closed your mouth a few times before simply settling on, "I'm a bit… whelmed? This has been," you give as vague a rolling gesture as you can without your cuffs rattling too badly, "a lot? And I have no idea what just set him off either?"
It's the man before you's turn to quirk a brow, "no idea?"
"If I knew the answers to his questions I'd've given 'em by now. I don't, though, and then he just started staring? And hell I just thought it was some kinda macho 'I can stare the truth out of you,'" you pitched your voice lower and pushed your shoulders out for a second to mimic the douchebag behavior before settling, "so I kept eye contact because I'm so out of my depth I have no reason to lie at all and now…" you trail off, gesturing around the room, "all that."
The man nods slowly, "alright love, could you tell me about the last five years?"
Your brows furrow, "oh fuck, 2019 was five years ago wasn't it. God, time is an illusion. Anyway, you want what I was doing leading up to and through the pandemic?"
You think he might've startled for a second but he simply moved to scratch his chin, "mhmm. Just your thoughts on the last five years is all."
So… you ramble. Because he was nice and not prodding or asking weird questions. You talk to him about your job before the pandemic, how people thought covid was just a flu until the death tolls kept climbing, how tons of governments dropped the ball on a local or country-wide level and how that kicked back onto your life, and then the absolute crapshoot of the last election cycle, the shitty 'oh no this is the new normal everything is fine' behavior that has lead to surges and cycles of a fucking plague and so on. He simply nodded, gave some sympathetic hums and winces appropriately at your experiences.
"And did you go back and watch Star Wars through that? Or other things Disney owned?"
And, well, that was a weird way to phrase it but you shrugged, "the mouse is just shy of a monopoly and not one that anybody can take that down so… yeah, I guess? They kept putting shows out and expanding their Star Wars universe so that's been kinda neat to watch but not just them, no. Couple other games and stuff like that to keep me busy, too," you kinda handwave and shut up because panic rambling to MILITARY PERSONNEL is probably not your smartest move in hindsight. Especially when you don't know his name. A+, self.
You tap your fingers against the metal table as he looks at you, "and you said covid has a long term effect of ruining people's senses of smell and taste?"
You nod slowly, "yeah, dude? It's one of the biggest warning signs for most people? Like if everything starts tasting like it was made by a middle class white mom who keeps shoving random letters in her kids names you should swab? That kinda shit?"
What rock has this guy been living under? You were pretty sure the military were supposed to be way more familiar with this shit all things considered, but you've been wrong before.
It was his turn to give you a bit of a wide eyed look before he poorly covers a laugh, "alright, that's fair. I need to go talk with my captain," he hooks a thumb over his shoulder to the window, which didn't surprise you that there had been people back there. He offers a reassuring smile as he stands, humming idly as he pushes the chair back in. He pauses mid-step, "you mentioned that there were cards…?"
You find yourself nodding slowly, "yeah it was important and you couldn't fly or go to certain places if you didn't have one for a while. Should still have a picture of mine buried on my phone," you really didn't wanna get another first-round of covid shots, you REALLY didn't wanna repeat the 24 hours of suck for no reason.
"Cool, thanks," he flashes another charming grin before he slides out of the room.
You lean back in your chair, what an odd guy. Nice though.
-------
"Right," Gaz says as he opens the door to Price and Ghost, "either our mystery guest is off her nut or she's legitimately from somewhere and somewhen else."
Ghost and Price look at each other before turning back to Gaz, this… complicated matters.
Well, it's not like you hadn't given them information to identify yourself. They'd dig up who you were one way or another.
-------
You stare blankly as the nice man from before gives you a sympathetic look, "what do you mean I'm dead?"
Behind him is a guy you're not sure if he's just fuckoff huge or if he's just moderately huge and it's forced perspective.
You don't think it's forced perspective.
You are absolutely trying not to panic spiral.
You are absolutely doing a horrible job at that.
"Well," he opens the file before him and there's a news article, proudly proclaiming "Locals Die in Horrible Freak Accident" like that's not some form of you that was looking like some smear on the pavement, "there's this. Fingerprints match up. Can check for dental if you're really curious."
"Were there even any teeth left after that," you mumble as you take and read the offered article. Seven people were involved, the pictures used are mostly flattering. Hell, you almost don't mind what pic they used for an alternate you but… "that's certainly not the pic I would've wanted. Maybe this me had different tastes?"
You take the time to actually read through the article. It's not helping because for as much as you stare at the page you're not absorbing any information. Some form of detachment, if this was really you? You'd died. A different you but a you nonetheless. You died and you're reading how it happened. There was a lot to unpack in all this and you just needed to put the suitcase away for now. You'd much rather throw it away at this rate.
You were rapidly coming to the understanding that you and Toto were not in Kansas anymore, and there wasn't a convenient yellow brick road to get yourself back home. No easy way to get the hell out of Dodge either. Was it Dodge or the O.K. Corral that was in Kansas? No the O.K. Corral wasn't in Kansas- Dodge was though, that's right. 
This analogy was getting away from you and some part of you figured this was just your brain trying to protect yourself but… wait, wasn't this a metaphor? There wasn't 'like' or 'as' or goddammit not again.
You recognize some names here and there but largely everyone involved were perfect strangers. The article doesn't cover if it would've been slow or quick. You hope for the smear that it was quick. Smears like that don't happen slowly, right? Well, not unless it's like a dramatic slide down a window, but not usually across pavement like that.
Still not sure how you feel about all of it. Bit morbid being confronted with your mortality like that.
Certainly answered a lot of questions about your theoretical passing you never thought about. Like if the obituary for you in what you know to be your own home and world is just as… really kinda just mediocre as this. Have you really done nothing of note for an obituary? Damn.
You kept pouring over the article, each pass bringing new words into focus that help connect the picture a little bit, but… Something repeated in the article made you pause, "two alphas, four betas, and an omega?" 
There was no decent way to ask about that. Any questions invoked from here would border into dangerous territory better kept between yourself and a private browser history. You knew what you were about but there was no fucking way.
"Their designations," the nice man whose name you still hadn't caught explains, "mostly explaining their secondary gender."
You look at him owlishly. You pray to whatever God might be listening that you wake up shortly. Or that the earth below your feet opens up and swallows you. Whichever comes first, the mortification will snipe you otherwise.
"Please tell me this is an elaborate joke at my expense," you are very quiet as you are trying to get really cool with a lot of things really quickly.
"Negative," the big fucker in the back practically growled and you knew that voice would do things to you if you weren't half stepped out of your own body. 
You missed whatever his followup was but your brow furrowed when you checked the date on the article, "I've been dead for months? That…" you let the paper fall from your hands. Everything about this is wild at best and very overwhelming at worst. 
A lot of this qualified as worst.
You look up at the two, missing the odd look they shot at each other as you try to pull yourself back together, "so now what? You've got a not-a-smear of me that fell from the sky onto a secure military base, and where I'm from we didn't have," you paused to gesture between the paper and the two soldiers, "dynamics was it? That was just a fanfiction special."
"Fanfiction."
The way he said it was so carefully neutral you paused, "oh my god without Star Trek to popularize fanfiction and the fan community, how has fandom evolved? Is fanfiction a thing- well, yes, it does fanfics have been a thing since Dante Alighieri wrote the Divine Comedy and even before- well, the question is more if it's still popularized? Are there still the wattpad fics of- I am getting so off track. What exactly is the next step?"
You look from the nice man to the big fucker and back, neither saying anything but looking at you with careful blankness.
You felt like you were being weighed and measured in their eyes.
You hoped to anyone listening that you weren't found wanting at least. Not when you're in the shit situation it looks like you ever so increasingly fell into.
"Considering I'm. Not smear. And very much not from here? Are blanks a thing? Or is that what a beta is I'm," you trail off, brow furrowing, "fuzzy. On the whole thing. The flavor of understanding, dynamics, and population skew tended to be dependant on the author's level of horny."
The did get a bit of a snort from the pretty one before you, the one in the back tilting his head just so as the pretty one spurred you on, "okay please don't take this the wrong way, you have given me nothing to go on but A/B/O and-" a finger was raised in question to that, you quickly explaining, "the fanfic shorthand for the universe without being a mouthful. Anyway- I've seen population numbers being roughly the same across the board, I've seen alphas and omegas at roughly 1% of the population of society on either end, I've seen alphas at about 5% and omegas at 1%- those ones are usually the most horny I swear.
"And it's all over the board, no consistency- sometimes it's betas are infertile, sometimes they're the straightman to the comedy that's an alpha and omega trying to woo each other without being too horny to function. Sometimes it's a sliding scale where being beta just means you're more the more middle-ground regulated hormonally with alphas and omegas being the opposing ends of a spectrum. Can you please say something and give me a fucking break because my panic rambles are probably like. Some kinda prejudiced. I'm still not over the 'I'm supposed to be a smear on the ground we don't even have dental images of to confirm who it is anymore' nugget you dropped on me. I think I'm doing well for this"
You would rather not tell them that as soon as you're out of this box of a room you were gonna be curled up in a ball and unabashedly weeping. That was none of their business.
The pretty one gave you what you're sure was supposed to be a reassuring smile but the quiet stretched just a bit too long. You looked from one to the other before leaning forward, "is this supposed to be soothing in some way? Because it's just a bit of an extended awkward silence and that's uh-"
It was the big one in the back's turn to give an amused snort, the pretty one looking bashful, "right, sorry, we uh-"
You jerk a bit, "wait, was that supposed to be some scent thing," you really didn't wanna say pheromones and potentially dig yourself into a deeper, more awkward hole based on Horny Pseudoscience.
Pretty rubbed the back of his neck, "something like that. You really couldn't smell anything?"
You know the exact Face you're making. It's very much your 'I have told you this and I'm getting tired of having to repeat it' face. You can tell he clocks it but for the record, because to your mortification this has to be recorded, you simply give a succinct, "no, I haven't smelled anything. Not from you, not from him," you jerk your head towards the big fucker, "and not from douchebag from be- Williams! His name was Williams. Nothing. Really had no clue why you were fanning the door when you came in."
You sigh, rubbing the heels of your palms into your eyes, "okay. Assuming I'm not about to be put into past tense a second time. Do we have any idea what popped me out here?"
The sentences are stilted, you know you're getting more rattled the longer you're here but sue you alright it's been the worst six hours of your life here.
They just continue to look at you, pretty keeping a polite almost customer service look as big one just stares unceasingly.
"Right. Okay. Am I going to be reintegrated to society or is this," you gesture around the little room as much as you can, "looking like my home for the foreseeable future."
No change in what you can see of either's expression, and you just sag. Deep breath in, deep breath out, "cool. Alright. Well. I know nothing of how biology is altered here, I'm not sure how that has impacted changes throughout history, and frankly I don't know what your pop culture has done. I'm assuming math and written languages are largely the same but in all fairness I don't know what I don't know."
You just stare quietly at the table for a bit longer before looking back at the two of them, "is there anything else you need because I can feel the freakout creeping up and while I know there's no real privacy, uh…"
The pretty one looked back to the big one, at some point you're sure you'll get some sort of names but for now? Now you watch the big one nod, the pretty one give you a polite smile and some vaguely polite bullshit your brain is swiftly going too far out to hear.
You only hope that whoever is behind the mirror is polite enough to look away as you put your head down on the table and give yourself the opportunity to, just this once, cry. As a treat.
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