#gonna knit that elf a sweater

[cinnaleaf]

「 Mistletoe | A Very Merry Footballer Ficmas 」

summary: you’re at an ugly christmas sweater party and levi won’t stop pressing your buttons — literally and figuratively. | MDNI 18+

warnings: teasing, fingering, unprotected sex, party setting, dirty talk, language, alcohol, major banter, mistletoe game i made up 🎅🏾: ho ho ho, a little elf told me you asked for this | pt 1 of my ficmas mini series (jude is next) wc: ~4.6k

Levi was the kind of man you wanted to fight on sight. No hesitation, no second thoughts. Not because he did anything diabolical, but because everything about him was annoying. The way his Christmas jumper blinked annoyed you. The way he leaned against the counter with his drink, grinning at everyone like he just blessed the party with his presence annoyed you. What irritated you the most was the way he caught you glaring at him from across the party, smirking with audacity like he knew exactly how much he got under your skin.

You took a long sip of rum and Coke, narrowing your eyes as your friend, Zara, hopped on the countertop with a wireless mic in her hand – chaos in her eyes. “Okay, everyone shut up for a sec!”

The other partygoers quieted down, turning their attention to Zara. She was wearing a bright red jumper that said “LET’S GET ELFED UP!” written in glittery letters, paired with an elf handing out pints of beer to other elves, jingle bells scattered across the warm fuzzy fabric.

“We’re gonna play a game” she announced, waving her hand toward the absurd amount of mistletoe hanging around the house. “I went a little crazy with the decor if you haven’t noticed.” Small conversations and laughter diffused through the crowd as they glanced around at the ridiculous amount of Christmas lights, tinsel, and garland covering nearly every inch of Zara’s house.

“The rules are really simple. if you get caught under the mistletoe with someone, you have to kiss. No dodging, no excuses. If you refuse…” She paused dramatically, widening her smile. “You have to do a shot of special eggnog.”

The crowd groaned collectively. The ‘special’ eggnog in question was thick, lukewarm, and spiked with whatever unholy combination of liquor she could find. She got you with it last year, and it tasted like regret, disappointment and bad decisions blended into one vile concoction.

“So keep your eyes open, people!” Zara said with a laugh, hopping off the counter top while her jumper jingled. “And don’t even try to cheat. I have eyes everywhere.”

As the party resumed, you caught Levi in your peripherals, grinning while making his way to the drink station. He was wearing an obnoxious, green monstrosity that had a mirror stitched onto the chest with the words “UGLIEST SWEATER AWARD” right above it in bold white letters, scattered with blinking lights. Every time someone glanced in the mirror, it essentially called them ugly and Levi was loving every second of it.

You glanced down at your own jumper, which you personally thought was a comedic masterpiece. It was a bright red knit that had a big button in the center. When pressed, LED lights and a cheery voice announced whether someone was on the naughty or nice list. It was an instant hit the minute you walked in, everyone was eager to learn their fate.

But of course, your joy didn’t last long when Levi finally spotted you alone.

“Y/N!” he called out, weaving through the crowd toward you. His grin, although beautiful and bright, had you infuriated. “One hell of a jumper you got there. What’s that button for?”

“For people with manners” you shot back, sipping your drink.

“Good thing I’m exactly that” he quipped, stepping right into your personal space. Before you could swat his hand away, he reached out to press the button. The LED lights showed an image of Santa tapping his cheek, before the cheery voice finally declared: Naughty!

Levi gave an amused snicker. “Yeah, that’s accurate. Let me try again.”

“No–” you started, but his hand was already pressing the button again.

“Naughty!” the jumper repeated, and Levi was doubled over laughing, nearly in tears.

“Nah. This thing has to be broken. No shot it gave me naughty again.” he said, shaking his head as he leaned in to press it again.

“Levi can you fucking not?”

Naughty!

You shoved his hand away finally, scowling. “I think you’ve made your point now.”

“Nahhh, I don’t know. It feels like a fluke if I keep getting naughty. Third time is clearly not the charm so let’s make it four.”

He pressed the button again before you could react, but this time the lights on the jumper flickered weakly before going out entirely.

“What the hell?” you groaned, tugging at the wires inside the knit to check for damage. “You broke it!”

“It was already broken,” Levi said, entirely too pleased with himself.

“You’re so fucking annoying” you muttered, clutching your drink and storming off to the laundry room to fix the jumper.

Levi called after you innocently, but it was anything but. “Y/N!”

“Let me know if you need a hand, yeah? I have a mirror with the perfect view!” he added.

You shot him a glare over your shoulder, stepping into the laundry room and slamming the door harder than you needed to. You muttered under your breath as you set your drink down on top of the washing machine. “I swear if I can’t fix this I’m actually going to fight him.”

You tugged the jumper over your head, leaving you in just a bra and jeans. The wires inside were a mess thanks to Levi’s relentless button pushing, no pun intended. You were determined to fix it before he had another chance to fuck something else up with it. Just as you started untangling the tiny LED strands, the door creaked open. You glanced up, already irritated.

“Whatever you want, the answer is no.”

Levi leaned against the frame of the door casually, smugly grinning while holding an empty cup. “Relax. Just came in here for..uh…a refill.”

You stared at him, deadpan. “In the laundry room? Be forreal.”

“It’s quieter in here” he said, shrugging as he stepped inside. “And I thought I’d check on you. You seemed like you were mad or something.”

“I am.” you said, glaring as you messed with the wires. “You broke my jumper!”

Levi smirked, dragging his eyes downward as he caught sight of your bra. He didn’t bother hiding it which made you even more irritated.

“Can you not?” you snappily asked, waving the jumper at him. “I’m trying to fix this thing.”

He licked over his lips when he noticed how your chest bounced slightly with the jerk of your arms from trying to fix the wires. “Looks like that jumper isn’t the only thing working overtime.”

Your head whipped up and he nodded toward your bra, smirking. “Nice choice.”

“Levi... I swear if you don’t shut –”

Before you could finish, Zara’s loud voice cut through the air from the hallway. “Ooooh! Laundry room mistletoe!!”

You groaned out loud as Levi’s head tilted upward, that same infuriating grin from before plastered all over his face. Sure enough, there was a tiny sprig of mistletoe dangling over a light.

Zara appeared in the doorway, delighted and chaotically cheerful. “You know the rules! KISS!”

“No. Absolutely not.” you muttered, yanking your jumper back over your head, though it wasn’t fixed just yet. “Laundry rooms don’t count! This should be a safe zone.”

“There are no safe zones in this house,” Zara said with an evil grin. “Kiss or its eggnog time!”

“Can we just not? Is that not a choice?” you snapped, glaring at Levi who was leaning casually against the washing machine, not bothered in the slightest by a suggestion of a kiss.

“Rules are rules Y/N” Levi said, flashing another cheeky grin. 

“Besides..you already look like you’re considering it” he winked, pointing at the mirror on his ugly Christmas sweater. You caught yourself glancing in the mirror, instantly annoyed that he was able to trick you that easily.

“I’ll do the eggnog.” you said flatly, crossing your arms.

“You sure about that?” Zara teased, a sudden crowd now gathering behind her. Partiers were pushing into the hallway, echoing with laughter as more people realized what was happening. Everyone knew you couldn’t stand Levi, so this was prime entertainment for them.

“Mistletoooooooe!!!” someone called out, and the chanting began. “Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!”

If you could disappear to literally anywhere else in that moment you would’ve. The crowd was loving it and phones were already coming out to film like you were in some sick reality show back on some island in Fiji.

Zara crossed her arms and gave you a look. “Babe, you’re gonna regret that eggnog more than a kiss. It’s a vintage batch from last year..and I added more Everclear.”

“Just get it over with! I’m missing out on my spades game for this!” Someone in the crowd called out.

You scowled at Levi, then back at Zara and the crowd behind her. “Fine. Let’s just get this over with.” you snapped, stepping closer to Levi.

Levi straightened, looking way too pleased as he tilted his head down toward you. “Didn’t think you had it in you to kiss me with an audience.”

“Shut the fuck up” you muttered before grabbing the front of his jumper and pulling him into a kiss.

The crowd erupted into cheers, hoots, hollers, and whistles the second your lips met his. You planned for it to be a quick peck, barely there kiss, but Levi had other ideas. His lips were warm, surprisingly soft, and sort of delicious. You could faintly taste mulled wine on his lips as one of his hands lightly fell onto your hip, like he was testing the waters. This kiss wasn’t rushed or sloppy...it was annoyingly good.

When you pulled back, you were breathless and way more flustered than you wanted to admit, and Levi’s grin was back in full force.

“Didn’t hate it, did you?” he murmured in a low tone that only you could hear.

You shoved his chest, rolling your eyes as you pushed through the crowd to head back to the party.

After the spectacle in the laundry room, you needed space. Preferably somewhere Levi wasn’t smirking and people weren’t shouting “Mistletoe!” like it was the second coming of Christ. So you headed to the kitchen because you were hungry.

The kitchen was a lot more calm than the rest of the party, with the exception of s small group playing spades at a table, loudly flinging cards on the tabletop and yelling. Plates of food were scattered across the counters, but you chose the jerk chicken wings first. You grabbed a wing, biting into it as you surveyed the rest of the options. You spotted Levi by the drinks where he was refilling on mulled wine. He looked calm, like he didn’t just kiss you in front of half the party and make you question why he was so damn good at it. You wanted to ignore him, but he turned and his eyes met yours like he felt you watching him. He smiled and you immediately looked back down at the chicken wings, grabbing another and biting into it.

Levi walked over with his mulled wine sloshing around in his cup. “Better slow down before you choke on it.” he said, eying the chicken wing in your grasp. “Unless you like that type of thing..”

You glanced at him, unimpressed. “I do, actually. But not with you watching. Now leave.”

Levi chuckled and leaned against the counter next to you, not planning on going anywhere. “Nah, I can’t take my eyes off you tearing it up like that. I’m CPR certified, you know?”

You scoffed, grabbing a napkin to dab your mouth. “If that were true you’d know it’s actually the Heimlich that’s used for choking, Big Brain.”

Levi grinned, enjoying your frustration but then you heard a shout from the spades table.

“MISTLETOE!” someone hollered, pointing toward the end of the counter where a rogue mistletoe sprig was tied around the neck of an empty bottle of Bailey’s Irish Cream, hidden behind all the food.

You stared at it in disbelief. “I know you’re fucking lying” you muttered under your breath, unable to comprehend how the placement of mistletoe made any sense. Surely someone was fucking with you.

Levi followed your gaze, his grin growing more smug as he took in the setup. “Damn, that’s creative. Gotta give Zara her props for that one.”

The crowd playing spades in the kitchen caught on fast and started yelling.

“Girl, you know you wanna kiss him again!” someone yelled while laughing.

“Yeah, don’t front!” another chimed in, hyping the situation.

You whipped around and glared at Levi, who was basking in all the attention. “This is your fault. I told you to leave.”

He raised his hands, laughing. “It’s Zara’s fault. I didn’t make the rules, Y/N.”

The crowd wasn’t letting up on the chants. Phones were out, cameras ready, and Zara was posted up against the fridge like the instigator she was, sipping her drink and grinning like you should thank her.

You groaned at the thought of Zara’s cursed eggnog and shuddered internally. Levi stepped closer to you, shrinking the space between you. “You’ll enjoy this one too. I promise.”

You parted your lips to respond – maybe even argue, but Levi tilted his head and moved his hands to your waist.

“This doesn’t mean anything by the way” you whispered, gripping the counter behind you for balance.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night” he teased in a barely audible voice over all the noise.

This time, there was no awkward start. It was hot. His mouth moved on yours like he had something to prove. It felt like he was trying to carve his name into your mouth and leave it there. His tongue slid past your lips, making your grip on the counter tighten. The room felt like it was spinning, or maybe it was just you. Levi’s hands slightly pushed your jumper up, and he brushed his thumbs over your sides. Suddenly, your body betrayed you and your hands found their way around the back of his neck, pulling him in closer as you leaned back against the counter. There was a natural rhythm to the kiss and the two of you nearly forgot there was a crowd watching.

Was it hot in here, or was it just you? Or him?? Both???

You felt him smile against your lips when you let out a small moan from the intensity of the kiss. You pulled away annoyed, but breathlessly impressed.

“Better than eggnog, right?” he questioned rhetorically.

You stared at him, lips still tingling, breath uneven. “Maybe....” you answered, pushing him away and grabbing your jerk chicken wing plate. You walked over to Zara and pulled her off to the side, away from the party and away from Levi’s smug, annoyingly handsome face.

Zara raised her eyebrows, barely managing to hold onto her drink as you dragged her away. “What? What did I do now? I’m just an innocent bystander.”

“Innocent my ass” you jabbed, setting your plate down on a nearby table. “What’s wrong with him?”

Zara smiled, tilting her head. “Define ‘wrong’.”

“That kiss” you said, gesturing vaguely toward the kitchen where the chaos unfolded. “It was...good. Like way too good. It’s hot in here.”

Zara smirked, taking a sip of her drink. “Sooo...you liked it then?”

“That’s not what I said” you countered quickly, but the way your eyes were darting back and forth gave your lie away. “He’s doing something to me and I hate it.”

“No you don’t” Zara snorted, leaning against the wall. “Maybe you need to just get laid. Blow off some steam or something, I don’t know.”

“Zara” you groaned, rubbing your temples.

“What?” she said with a laugh. “He’s cute. You’re cute. You’re clearly into each other. A little hook up might be fun. Based on that last kiss, you’re already halfway there anyway.”

You shot her a glare, turning your heel away from her in annoyance. “I’m going to the bathroom.”

“Sure babe” Zara called after you. “But you know I’m not wrong!”

You splashed cold water on your face in the refuge of the bathroom, trying to shake off the throbs your body felt from the kiss. Levi’s hands, his soft lips, and the way he smiled against your lips had you thinking what else he could be good at. You stared in the mirror, shaking your head. “He’s so irritating,” you muttered to your reflection. “And so fucking fine.”

With a sigh, you stepped back into the hallway but your peace lasted for all of three seconds.

Levi appeared at the other end of the hallway, casually strolling toward you with his drink in hand. He looked like he had nowhere to be and all the time in the world to bother you. His jumper was still obnoxiously blinking, a grin already forming. Levi stopped in front of you, lifting his cup and taking a slow sip while peering at you over the rim. The silence stretched for a long time as he drank, until he pointed up with his index finger, bringing attention to another piece of mistletoe. He didn’t say a word after and stood there smirking at you, waiting. 

That cocky, knowing curve of his mouth was your undoing and you grabbed him by his jumper, kissing him with every intention of taking it farther. The kiss wasn’t just hot, nor was it something to shut him up or get it over with. It was like someone had taken a match to dry kindling. There was no one else in the hallway, but even if there was, you couldn’t care less. 

Levi froze for half a second, not expecting you to make the first move, but then he was kissing you back with one hand caressing your ass, the other pressed up against the wall next to the door. The way he was moving his tongue against yours sent fiery heat straight to your core, making your breath hitch in its wake.

You were not a passive participant in this game. Your hands slid up under his jumper, grazing over his happy trail above the waistband of his jeans. Your back bumped up against the doorframe, but the wood pressing into you didn’t matter because Levi’s dick was also pressing into you, straining against his jeans. 

“Y/N” he muttered against your mouth rough and low, trying to hold himself back.

It wasn’t a question or even a statement. He was teetering on the edge, one breath away from losing control. You didn’t have to think twice and you stepped back, pulling him into the bathroom with you as he kicked the door closed behind him, locking the door without pulling from your lips. His lips trailed down to your neck, his fingers teasing the zipper of your jeans. 

“I knew you wanted me” he murmured against your skin.

“Keep talking and I’ll change my mind” you teased, fumbling with the button of his jeans as your breath came in short, heated gasps.

When his jeans hit the floor you barely registered the sound of the button on your Christmas jumper malfunctioning. The automated voice cheerily kept declaring “Naughty, naughty, naughty, naughty!” until it finally sputtered and died.

Levi laughed, brushing his lips against your ear. “Guess it’s not wrong.”

Once your jeans were off, he ran his hands over your panties, instantly making you bite your lip to stop a moan. He hooked a finger, pulling them off in one swift motion. His fingers striped between your folds as you pulled your jumper and bra off, making you grip the countertop.

“Mistletoe” he whispered against your chest, taking in your nipple and circling his tongue around its peak. You leaned your head back, closing your eyes while grazing your hands over the top of his head. You couldn’t see it, but there was another sprig of mistletoe reflecting from the mirror that was taped to the wall that you hadn’t noticed earlier.

You were losing it. You hated how good it felt. You hated the way his smug smile against your skin made you wetter when he kissed down your body, then back up to your neck. You couldn’t help but moan from the sensation.

“You’re loud” he drawled against your skin. “You need to be quiet unless you want the whole party to know how good I’m about to fuck you.”

You glared at him, but the fire in your eyes wasn’t overpowering the fire between your legs. “Stop teasing me and get on with it.” The tone in your voice let him know just how badly you wanted him.

Levi smirked, grazing your jawline as he trailed his lips back to yours. “You’re so impatient.” he said, dipping his fingers inside of you before he took them out again. Your hips jerked toward him involuntarily and you moaned again before you could stop it.

“Levi..I–”

He cut you off and pressed a kiss to your lips that stole the rest of the sentence and every coherent thought in your head. He moved his fingers slowly, drawing circles around your clit that made your knees buckle.

“You’re soaked” He breathed against your mouth, satisfied. “Why are you so worked up, Y/N? Was it the mistletoe?”

Your nails dug into his biceps, trying to focus on the onslaught of sensations. “You talk too much shit” you gasped, arching into him as his fingers slid lower, dipping inside you just enough to make you arch into him more.

“Fuck..” you moaned.

“Seems like you like it though” he quipped, pulling his hand away just to hear you whine. 

Your hand shot out and gripped the back of his neck, trying to pull him closer. “I swear to god if you don’t stop playing..”

Levi spun you around and pressed you against the counter before you could argue with him anymore. The cold marble made you hiss, but Levi gave you no time to adjust to the sensation. His hands were on your ass, spreading you open as he leaned in close, brushing his lips against your ear.

“Admit you want me” he demanded. “Or I’ll make you beg for it.”

You turned your head, glaring over your shoulder. “I’m not begging for shit.”

“We’ll see about that.” he laughed, unbothered.

You felt the head of his dick press against you, teasing you, but he didn’t push in. Instead, he slid it up and down, coating himself in your wetness to drive you up the wall.

“Levi don’t piss me off” you groaned, grinding back against him, desperate.

“Say it.”

Your body was heating with equal parts irritation and need. You didn’t know who the fuck he thought he was, trying to make you beg. 

If he wanted to be funny, you were going to be hilarious.

Without another word, you reached behind, gripping him in your hand. His dick twitched under your touch as you ran your thumb down the vein on his shaft, and you heard him suck in his breath. You lined him up and pushed yourself into him, a delicious stretch stole the air from your lungs. He filled you slowly, inch by inch, making you bite your lip to stop from moaning.

“Fuck you feel so good” Levi muttered, gripping your hips as he gave you some time to adjust. “Tight as hell too. No wonder you’re loud.”

You were going to snap back at him but when he started moving, he pulled out almost completely before slamming back in, making you loudly moan his name.

“Y/N!” Zara’s voice echoed from the hallway, followed by a cackle. “I fucking knew it!”

You buried your face against the marble from embarrassment, but Levi didn’t stop. If anything, her little interruption hyped him up. “Guess there’s no point being quiet now” he grinned, snapping his hips harder. “Let ‘em hear how good I’m fucking you.”

You glared at him through the mirror but your mouth fell open when his hips thrusted into you again. “You–” Another deep thrust followed and your words broke into a moan. You hated how loud you were but your body was uncontrollably reacting to him. He wasn’t just pressing one button, he was pressing all of them; mapping out each nerve to set you off.

“What was that, Y/N?” Levi asked, teasing you with unrelenting thrusts. “Didn’t catch what you said. Too busy making you lose your head.”

“Shut up” you gasped, clutching the counter like it could save you.

“You first.” He grinned, smacking your ass as he hit a spot that made your legs shake. “But you can’t, can you?”

Your nails scratched against the counter, moans spilling out. You could feel your stomach coiling tighter with every stroke and roll of his hips. You were going to tell him to shut up again but what came out of your mouth was the complete opposite.

“Don’t stop,” you pleaded.

“Ah, there it is,” he voiced arrogantly. “Good girl.”

You tried to bite back a cry but it tore from you when he thrust harder, making you arch your back. Your mind felt foggy, you were gasping between moans, only focused on him as Christmas music muffled from the door. He was filling you, stretching you, and ruining you in the best way.

“Say it again” he growled, sliding his hand around your waist to press your stomach. “Say you want me to make you cum.”

You gasped at his words, the pressure of his hands, and the stretch of him inside you – the perfect trio to make you crash over the edge. “Levi..fuck. I’m close” you whimpered, grinding against him as you came closer to a breaking point.

He slowed his thrusts just enough to drive you mad, brushing his lips over your ear. “Not yet. Not until I’m in so deep you forget your name.” He pulled out of you slowly, leaving you aching for him. Before you could complain he flipped you around, lifting you onto the counter. His hands hooked under your thighs and pulled you closer, sliding back into you in one smooth, deep stroke. This angle hit different and stole the air from your lungs, making your head fall back on the mirror.

“Eyes on me” Levi demanded roughly, though he sounded a little needy. “I wanna see you when you cum.”

Your heavy lidded eyes locked on his and the intensity of his gaze made you pulse against his dick. He groaned and pounded into you, no mercy. You cried out, squeezing his dick with your orgasm as the hot pleasure coursed through you. 

“Goddamn” Levi groaned, feeling you clench your muscles against him. 

His grip on your thighs tightened and he pulled out at the last second, stroking his dick with one hand, the other keeping your legs wide. “Ah, shit” he cursed under his breath as he came, painting your stomach with his cum. Your body trembled from the aftershocks of your orgasm as you watched him pump himself empty. For a while, the bathroom was filled with nothing but heavy breaths and the distant party sounds beyond the door. Levi grabbed a towel on the edge of the counter to clean you up with care; that smug little grin still hadn’t left his face.

“You good?” he asked, low and gravelly, still catching his own breath.

You nodded, still panting as you sat up on the counter, running a hand over your hair. Levi’s hand stayed on your thigh and he smirked at you. As irritating as his confidence was – it was also hot.

“Yeah, I’m good,” you said, breathlessly.

On the floor, your malfunctioning Christmas jumper sprung back to life. The cheery automated voice chimed in once again.

Naughty!

Naughty!

Naughty!

[thicc-ray-of-sunshine]

Hellooo, I don’t know if you do request but what if Ford was overworking himself down in the basement, and to surprise him, you cosplay as your DD&MD character but in lacy lingerie while give him a lap dance…Sorry if that’s too much my imagination going haywire 😃

Oh I'm soooo behind this

Suggestive content under the cut

MINORS DNI

It was late, very late actually. You were not especially surprised that Ford had yet to make an appearance; having been cooped up in the lab for most of this week tinkering away. Now was the third night in a row that he had come to bed late. Yesterday you had to drag his sorry sleep deprived behind upstairs at the ripe hour of 3am, finding him passed out in his chair and hunched over in a position that was definitely not good for his back. Tonight though he had promised to do better, to return to you at a reasonable hour. It was now 12:43am so the hour was not in fact reasonable. Old habits die hard you mused, how else was a man able to get so many PHDs?

Typically you slept rather restlessly, even more so without the comfort of Ford besides you. Tonight though you were awake at such a late hour for a reason. Said reason being what you deemed as 'positive reinforcement.' You had every intention of seducing Ford the moment he entered your shared bedroom.

Which is how you got here; in probably about a third of your Dungeons Dungeons and More Dungeons persona, lounging somewhat lackadaisically on your stomach in an extremely raunchy set of lingerie that left very little to the imagination. You fiddled with the dice next to you on the bed, enjoying the sound of them clacking together. Well the night isn't getting any younger and neither is Ford so if he wasn't gonna come up to you- you were gonna go down to him.

Bouncing up and off of the bed you plucked Ford's neatly folded bathrobe off the back of the chair at Ford's desk and pulled it over your ensemble, checking in the mirror to make sure there were no clear indicators of your chosen attire. Securing the tie around your waist, you picked up the dice and your phone, sliding them into pockets before checking your appearance one last time in the mirror and adjusting the circlet and elf ears you donned.

It was late enough that you had no real fear of running into anyone else but you still chose to be cautious; it would be incredibly obvious to anyone on the outside to just what you were doing sneaking around like this With that thought in mind you took your time getting to the basement.

Unsurprisingly Ford was still very much awake and actively working. His back and shoulders were tense and he scribbled down notes in his precious journal, still oblivious of your presence. He jumped a little when you slid up behind him, sliding your arms loosely around his neck and letting your head rest on his shoulder.

"Hello Dear. I'll be up in a few minutes, I just need to finalize this calculation."

You just hummed and coiled your arms tighter around him, fingers playing with the knit of his sweater while waiting for Ford to play catch-up. Your lack of genuine response paired with your unwillingness to leave seemed to be all Ford needed to put it together, all the pieces snapping together in his big wonderful brain. He paused in your embrace, gears grinding to a halt, pencil suddenly unmoving.

"I've done it again haven't I? What time is it my Love?"

You just laughed, cheeks flushing at the term of endearment and moving your hands to rub his tense shoulders while pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

"It's well past midnight Darling."

Your tone was sweet but matter-o-factly in his ear, letting out another small airy giggle when he dropped his head to his desk abit dramatically. You tutted at him and moved to grab ahold of his chair so you could turn him to face you; he let you. There was a rosy tint to his cheeks, clearly a little embarrassed for making you get out of bed to retrieve him like a petulant child past their bedtime for the third time this week. His eyes were apologetic when they met yours, then turning suspicious when he saw your clothing choice. You gave him very little time to scrutinize, wanting to get the drop on him. And drop you did: the robe you stole falling to the floor just as fast as Ford's jaw did. In that quick movement to had also taken liberty in placing your phone face up on his desk, a D20 in your hand as you slunk down to straddle his lap. You took great care in pressing your body to his as you placed a chaste kiss next to his open mouth, ghosting your lips across his skin until you met his ear.

"Persuasion check. Roll for seduction."

Your voice was low, a sweet beckoning whisper against him and it sent a shiver down his spine. He tried to pull you in for a kiss but you resisted him, instead flicking your wrist and letting the die in your drop onto his desk. You both watched as it rolled to a stop against the corner of his open journal. Ford gulped loudly, eyes flitting back to you.

"Eighteen."

Ford's voice was a low rasp, sounding dry in his throat. His gaze was intense, eyelids hooded. You leaned back and he chased you, still trying to kiss you. Again you resisted him, tracing his jaw with your forefinger.

"Eighteen with a multiplier of plus two for being a bard and a secondary plus two for being a half elf. So twenty-two."

Taking his jaw in your hand, you decided to have mercy on him, leading him into you for a kiss. He needed no convincing, meeting you eagerly, lips meeting yours in a bawdy open mouthed kiss. It was a little clumsy at first, noses bumping together momentarily and his glasses making themselves known against your cheek before his brain caught up with his body; influencing his handiwork. His tongue worked against yours diligently, your own wrapping around the smooth muscle and sucking lightly. That was all you allowed him, pulling away again and sitting back on your heels, letting out a laugh at the disappointed whimper that left him as you did so. The hand that had snaked it's way into your hair attempted to pull you back in, putting gentle pressure on the back of your skull to encourage you.

You smoothed your hands down his sides, stopping to squeeze his thighs, smiling when you felt the muscles clench under your fingers. Ford's hips reflexively bucked up into yours when your hands skimmed higher, against his pelvis. You turned your attention to your phone on his desk, swiping up on the screen to press play on the song you had queued up. It wasn't anything special per-say, but it worked for the occasion.

"Should've come to bed Honey."

He blinked slowly up at you, finally catching onto your plan. His grip tightened reflexively as you moved to lift yourself up before you gently grabbed his hands, bringing them to your lips, hot breath fanning against his knuckles in a way that made him feel dizzy. You placed a kiss to both of them, maintaining eye contact as you brought them both to rest back on the arms of his chair. You kept your hands over his, leaning in close to nip at his earlobe; voice low and spilling from your lips like honey as you spoke.

"Gonna keep your hands right here and to yourself okay Sweetheart?"

He nodded dumbly at you, your words and honeyed tone ringing in his ears and knocking around inside his skull.

Taking great care to actually move gracefully, you used Ford's body as leverage to smoothly stand. Making sure to arch your back in a fairly evocative way on your ascent, pushing out your breasts invitingly towards him. Your body moved lithely, almost balletic as you swiveled around on your feet, throwing a saucy look over your shoulder back at him before gyrating your hips to the music. Ford was hypnotized, watching silently from his place in his chair. Music barely audible over the blood rushing in his ears as he watched you drag your hands sensually over the contours of your body, feeling his cock come further to life beneath his slacks. He shifted in his seat, attempting to adjust his pants and relieve some of the pressure he felt somewhat discreetly. You easily caught him of course, observant at you were. Simpering at him, you closed the distance between your bodies again.

"Feeling tense Stanford?"

Upon closer inspection of your lascivious apparel he spotted some interesting and rather complex looking stitching zigzagging across the crotch area. Any and all questions he had pertaining to your undergarments were suddenly dashed and graciously answered as you whipped your body forward, arching your back harshly and tracing your hands up your spread legs tantalizingly. The new angle your body took on completely showcasing the fact that the stitching he was admiring was actually a seam, a seam that was now very much open and giving him a front row seat to your glistening folds. He balked, letting out a choked sound as he shot ramrod straight up in his chair, cock at full attention.

You smiled with a sadistic satisfaction, running your hands up his thighs just to make him squirm. Fingers just barely brushing against the clothed length of him where it was now tenting in his pants. A groan rumbled low in his throat, eyes greedily eating up the sight of your breasts sitting prettily against your torso, framed beautifully by the delicate lace trim of your bra.

He hadn't seen this piece before he realized, not recognizing the pattern of elegant lace pattern decorating your chest and hips. He felt a level of fondness rise in him right alongside want at the idea of you surprising him like this. It then struck him in the chest that this was a planned effort, orchestrated with the goal to seduce him. Although he very much doubted that your original plot had taken place in the lab; a slight on his part he imagined.

You laughed and leered lecherously at him over your shoulder before crawling your way back onto his lap. Ford was hyper aware of every movement you made on him, knowing that only his own clothing separated him from your sex. You gave him no reprieve, sitting on your haunches as you just barely hovered over him, not giving him the satisfaction of your pussy dragging against his clothed member.

His fingers flexed, clenching aggressively around the armrests as he fought to keep his composure, unwilling to be the one to end your little game. You just smiled at him again, fluttering your lashes almost innocently as you brought your hands down to play with his where they sat white knuckling the worn leather, humming thoughtfully as you traced around each individual finger.

"You're being terribly good Ford. It's really no fun."

You teased him without any bite, giggling a bit as he raised a brow at you.

"I'm just doing as you asked Dear."

He couldn't help the smirk that worked it's way onto his face, his voice taking on a lower register that he knew would get you all hot and bothered. Your reaction was subtle and he had to give credit where credit was due but he knew your every micro expression and could see straight through the slight wobble in your lip you tried to mask by biting it.

"Don't you want to touch me Ford? "

Your voice took on a pout, feigning hurt while you finally dropped your weight onto his lap, grinding heavily against his erection. Ford hissed through his teeth at the sensation, being able to feel you glide against him even through his pants. Your eyes were still on him, still waiting for an answer from him.

"Yes. I would like to very much."

You giggled again, finding his phrasing both a bit silly and endearing in your current situation.

"Roll for it."

Ford's hand was trembling slightly as he reached back for the die, fumbling around behind him on the desk blindly until he felt the smooth edges of the die beneath his fingers. Your fingers delicately traced edges of his jaw, regarding him with a sardonic expression as you watched him try to regain some semblance of his composure. He made a noise, a grunt maybe, in an effort to clear his throat; his adams apple bobbing briefly when he swallowed, his mouth feeling dry. You took the moment to bite at it, scraping your teeth and laving your tongue across the column of his throat as he wove the die between his fingers; pulling back only to watch it drop back onto his desk.

Ford's breath hitched, head turned and Lazer focused on the die as it slowly came to a stop. A loud groan could be heard throughout the space, immediately followed by howling laughter.

"A two! Critical failure!."

You gasped out between laughs that shook your whole body, having to grasp at the arms of the chair to steady yourself atop Ford as his head dropped back in defeat, hands falling limply at his sides. Ford leveled you with a chastising look at your continued snickering. You simply brought your hands back up to his face, leaning in to pepper his face with sweet kisses.

"Oh you should have come to bed Darling."

You cooed against his skin, breath tickling his cheeks as you withdrew abit. His face was softer now but still frustrated, lips turned into what you'd dignify as a pout. As much as you wanted to tease him more about it you had technically accomplished your goal; knowing full well he'd follow you wherever you would go once you got up off his lap, if he let you that is. He was being a terribly good sport about this, even with his straining, clearly painfully hard cock trapped between your bodies. Being ever so merciful whilst also indulging in your need to make Ford squirm you ground down against him hard. Absolutely languishing in the loud shattering moan that escaped his chest and the way his hands shot up to dig into your hips.

"I'll tell you what-"

A dreamy sigh left your lips along with a soft moan of Ford's name as he bucked up against you. Leaning in closer your breath fanned against his earlobe as you finished the thought he had interrupted.

"You come with me to bed and I'll let you make a saving throw."

----------

Sure you knew this "positive reinforcement" would probably never break this bad habit but you'd reap the very pleasureable consequences all the same.

[starsofarda]

Christmas with the Feanorians

I would like to thank @erendur for giving me enough rope for my shenanigans.

Tolkien, ILU but sometimes I need to take everything less seriously.

Of course TIS THE SEASON and I am in my transformation in a Christmas Elf, whilst my SO is becoming the Grinch.

Anyway, possible modern AU, the Feanorians and Christmas, stemming directly from this post.

So, we know how Feanor could be ©Extra™, but what would he be like during the Christmas holidays in a modern AU? Well, LOOK NO FURTHER.

I am basically copypasting my brainstorming session and expanding on it.

Unfortunately Feanor is a "go big or go home" guy when it comes to decorating for Xmas, figure the outside plastered in luminous deers, trees, elves, santas and all the works. You can spot his house from at least two miles afar. He will dress up as Santa*, show up with like all sorts of trinkets, hand-write "Santa's response letters" to his children. The inside of his house is cobered in holly decorations, Yule logs, xmas trees, xmas music all over the place. the guy is extra.

*or Father Christmas, your choice, regardless of who he dresses like he's gonna look like Jack Skellington from The Nightmare Before Christmas, he is very tall, very lanky and he's not gonna be a fat old man delivering gifts.

this also prompts several arguments over the xmas dinner with Fingolfin, cue Finarfin trying to be the peacemaker, all the "not in front of the kids", the "language" and all. In the meantime every single one of the kids, regardless of who's the father, is a different flavour of terror. Nerdanel is with her SILs and nieces, at a certain point Aredhel just starts a treasure hunt with Celegorm and his dog Huan. It's chaos. Maedhros is with Fingon and maybe Maglor, if Maglor and Finrod are not playing Guitar Hero. And so on. Also did someone mention "ugly sweaters"? Yep. All of them lovingly crafted by grandma Miriel (in this AU she is alive, just very divorced from Finwe, but alive). Grandma Indis supplies the wreaths. Grandpa Finwe is sitting by the porch and enjoying some eggnog.

All is good. Feanor and Fingolfin will keep arguing till the end of time. As it was pointed out, this definitely looks like National Lampoon's Christmas holiday.

Now, some clarifications.

THE ELVES They are indeed Feanor's apprentices dressed as Father Christmas's elves. They take turns. They are low key enjoying the attention. Speaking of. I rectify myself, it's not Santa, but Father Christmas and his assistant polar bear - reference to Tolkien's "Letters from Father Christmas". I know Tolkien would have hated it, but this is a modern au. Whatever floats my boat. As for the ugly jumpers: Ofc Feanor has the Silmarils surrounded by snowflakes, deers and red robins. His jumper is red. Maedhros has got a green one with winter gnomes and a "happy yuletide" in elegant lettering. Fingon has a blue one with an icy mountain and penguins with silver scarves and hats.

So. The apprentices don't really mind being hired as Christmas Elves, Feanor pays well and it's all fun and games. They basically get to be up to any shenanigans they can conjure up, because in Feanor's forge not only he is Extra, but his apprentices are the Least Chill on Arda. They will cause problems on purpose, only rule is "be nice to the children" and "don't damage property in a significant way", but everything else is game. They get to dress in fun outfits as a plus.

Miriel and Indis are both there, mostly ignoring Finwe and doting on their daughters in law.

As for the jumpers.

Grandma Miriel lovingly embroidered and knitted them all. Any bad look has been met by Feanor's death glare of "accept my beloved mother's gift or die painfully" and every year they are a must have, especially if the party is at Feanor's house.

So far this is what I have.

Ofc Feanor has the Silmarils surrounded by snowflakes, deers and red robins. His jumper is red. Maedhros has got a green one with winter gnomes and a "happy yuletide" in elegant lettering. Fingon has a blue one with an icy mountain and penguins with silver scarves and hats. Also if Mae has a green one with gnomes, then I envision Fingon with the same but in yellow/golden, but do feel free to envision whatever :p Celegorm has one with like a poodle with a christmas hat and scarf, the poodle looking very much like Huan. Maglor has one with like hollys and singing red robins. Caranthir has one with xmas trees all over. A&A have matching ones, both with snowmen wearing sunglasses and like a cheeky line. Curufin has one designed to show the jacket of a xmas elf and celebrimbor has one with the design of the ribbon of a xmas present.

There will be more as soon as I think of something else.

[bunnyychi]

The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

Masterlist

Pairing: OneyPlays Crew X gn!reader

Warnings: Mentions of Weed; Alcohol Consumption; Sexual Innuendos

A/N: A small little Christmas Fic that is mostly platonic! Does feature some flirting but all in good fun :)

‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

“Dude be careful. Careful now… CAREFUL!”

“I am careful you annoying critter!”

THUMP

Christmas ornaments rolling over the wet floor and a wide-eyed Lyle standing on top of a shaky and rusty ladder, holding up a christmas star in one hand with the objective of putting it on the now fallen tree.

“You fucking retard oh my god!”

Oh, and Zachs screaming as he stood there with this hands at his hips, looking at Lyle like a disappointed mother after her child inevitably fucked up.

That was only one of the scenes which greeted you as you had entered the office on Christmas Eve. Not to mention Adam and Cory’s attempt at baking cookies which you could smell throughout the entire house.

“You guys need any help?” You laughed as you watched Zach pick up various ornaments. You put the presents you had brought on the couch, seeing as there was currently no tree to put them under.

“Yeah I need you to take Lyle out back and put that dumb christmas star between his eyes and through his skull.”

“Well if someone hadn’t been stressing me out the entire time, maybe I would have done a better job!”

Lyle was still standing on the ladder, looming over the fuming Zach from high up, arms crossed.

“(Y/n), can you please help with the tree for a second? I do not have the mental capacity to put up with Tribal over here..” Zach sighed and looked at you with a defeated expression.

Earning a quick laugh from you, you eventually decided to help after listening to some more of the back and forth between the boys which wouldn’t lead anywhere any time soon.

“You know what, I don’t even care, I’m just gonna help Adam and Cory in the kitchen.” Lyle huffed, stepping from the ladder and making his way out of the room.

“By the smell the cookies are burned already so you can’t do any more damage at least.” Zach spat back as he heaved the tree upright again with you. Lyle only stuck his tongue out at him in response.

Especially during the holidays it seemed as if each and every one of the boys reverted back to high schoolers. The way that they tried to “plan” everything also seemed akin to all those events that the students back at your school tried to do.

The entire building was busy, Chris was on the forefront of frantic. Checking how everyone was doing and if anyone needed any help as well as Tomar who tried to “gentle-parent” every conflict or wrongdoing that occured. Spoiler Alert:

It only worked with Adam.

And although the rooms smelt of burned cookies and wet pine needles; the Christmas atmosphere was surely building up. Everyone was wearing red and green elf caps and Ugly Christmas Sweaters™. Especially Zach’s had you giggling once you got a good look at it.

“Wow, awesome sweater you got there dude..”

He looked down on himself before looking you dead in the eye.

“Well he is my hero sooo ... you got a problem with that snowflake?”

His sweater read: “O.G. Don. Making Liberals Cry One Tweet At A Time.” And of course, a picture of a knit Donald Trump accompanying it.

You laughed at his impression. “Sure, yeah. Sorry.” “Tz, yeah I thought so.”

One by one Zach hung the fallen ornaments back on the tree and you started putting your gifts under it, earning a gasp from Zach.

“Holy shit why are some of them so big, how much did you spend?” He wanted to look at the tags, trying to spy for the one that was meant for him. You swatted his hand away quickly.

“I’m not gonna tell you how much I spent, Zach. Just be happy you’re getting anything with the way you annoyed me this year.” “Fair enough.”

You helped Zach with the decorations and the lights, accidentally spinning them around yourself as you tried to untangle the 4 metres of cable as quickly as possible. The mismatched ornaments were all over the place look-wise. Some of them were classic red and golden spheres with glitter over them. Other ones were… more explicit. Santa was definitely presenting a little more than you were used to from the Coca Cola Ads back in the day.

Zach also tried to debate you on the Sonichu ornament which he wanted to hang up right in the middle so it’d be the first thing that anyone saw when coming in. You really tried to convince him otherwise yet his argument of: “Well Christmas is all about friendships and Sonichu was Chris Chan’s best friend so you’re pretty ignorant if you want me to put him in the background” left no room for further discussion.

Once you made sure that Zach wouldn’t take a peek at any of the presents, you followed the smell of candies and burnt cookies to the kitchen where your gaze immediately found Adam who was sitting on the kitchen floor. Joint in hand, staring intensely into the oven (the light inside wasn’t even turned on).

“Oh, hey (y/n)! You wanna try the first batch?” Cory greeted you excitedly. Your eyes couldn’t help but wander from him pointing at the crumpled-ashy piles on the tray on the counter, to the apron he was wearing.

An arrow pointing upwards at his face with the subtitle: “This Guy rubs his own meat”

A Cory original it seems. He looked quite proud as he noticed your chuckle.

“Uhh- think I’ll pass..” You tried to weasel your way out of trying those science experiments. “The second batch won’t be..” “Akin to burn victims? No, I made sure of that.” Lyle chimed in from behind Cory.

“Burn Victims?” Adam gasped calmly yet with a hint of hurt. “Those are my babies all right? You guys are just judgemental..”

“Adam.” Lyle began, he stopped mixing more batter and turned to his friend on the ground. “Eating one of those would be like smoking 20 cigs at once.”

You chuckled at their little banter. You were just glad that there was no more fighting happening. Although that was probably thanks to the separation of Zach and Lyle.

“And what would be wrong with that?” Adam pouted, his eyes still fixed on the dark oven. You wondered how high he was flying already.

“Nicotine, Adam. Not weed.” Cory said before trying to pick up one of the burnt cookies which turned into something that could be compared to dust. Leaving Cory to blankly stare at his ashy hands.

“Mr Stark… I don’t feel so good.” You mumbled, earning a laugh from Adam who hadn’t even seen what you were talking about.

“By the way, where are Josh and Chris at? I saw them running around when I came in and I thought they’d be here with you guys.” You asked the three men in front of you.

“They’re in the recording room I think” Cory said, running a hand through his hair.

Just as you were about to turn around and make your way to the recording room, Adam spoke up quietly. “Noo, No! Chris and Tomar wanted to get a karaoke machine from one of Chris’ friends.”

“What, when they say that?” Befuddled, Cory looked down at Adam who’s attention was still on the oven.

“They stopped by and told us.” Cory’s gaze met yours, utter confusion apparent on both of your faces.

“How did you catch that but I didn’t?”

Adam just shrugged and took a drag of his joint. At that moment he looked like an Astronaut who experienced Zero Gravity for the first time.

“I think we can take out the second tray now and put these bad boys in.” Lyle spoke up. He held up the whisk. “Who wants to lick?”

“Don’t say it like that dude..” Adam finally got up from the ground, he looked like a toddler while doing so.

“What? I’m only offering my creamy left-over dripping liquid to someone in the room? What’s wrong with that?” A grin spread across Lyle’s face as Adam mimicked gagging at his words.

You and Cory simply laughed at the scene. “Besides, I’m sure (Y/n) would love to help me out with that.” A blush spread across your face, a nervous giggle leaving your lips as you took the whisk which Lyle handed to you with a wink. “You’re disgusting dude.” You said before trying the batter. Surprisingly enough, it actually tasted really dang good.

“That’s genuinely quite-”

“LAST CHRISTMAS I GAVE YOU MY HEART-”

Besides making you drop the whisk and probably waking the entire street, George Michael seemed to want to shatter your eardrum with those vocals.

There was a deafening silence after the sudden jumpscare.

“Sorry!” A muffled apology was shouted from the living room, causing you and Cory to double over in laughter.

“What the fuck, Zach?” Lyle wanted to seem pissed but he couldn’t help the corners of his mouth twisting upwards as he shouted back.

The Man, The Myth, The Goblin then appeared in the doorframe to the kitchen, laughing at Adam’s shocked face.

“I just wanted to set up some atmospheric music”

“Yeah and how’d that work out?” You asked as you turned around to him.

As Zach profusely apologized to specifically Adam. Lyle began to put in the third and probably final batch of cookies.

“But in my defense!” Zach raised his voice along with his finger.

“It is kinda funny how that got you like ‘WHam!’ y’know.”

The silence that followed his wordplay was even more deafening than before.

“Alright yeah I get it, fuck you guys.” And with that he turned around on his heel and back into the living room.

Soon after though you heard the rustling of keys in the hallway, announcing the last two of the bunch who were hopefully coming to stay this time.

A bunch of grunts and huffs later, you and Lyle decided to take a look at what was going on and whether or not you were about to witness some extra Christmas-loving, judging from the sounds of panting.

“Oh (y/n), Lyle, hey there!” Tomar greeted the both of you. He and Chris were currently trying to carry in the karaoke machine that had been mentioned earlier.

“Uhh, do you guys need any help with that?” Lyle said, stepping from one foot to the other.

“I mean if one of you could hold open the door so it stops spanking me that’d be great.”

Chris’ back was turned to you, and the door indeed kept wanting to close on him. You quickly got to holding it open for him.

“Oh c’mon you like getting slapped on the ass though, don’t lie.” Zach suddenly spoke up after he entered the hallway to watch the scene along with you and Lyle.

Chris let out a strained laugh. “Sure, but you can do that later, babe.” He said, his voice dropping a few octaves lower, making Zach chuckle.

As you kept standing by the door, you finally noticed the familiar sound of “Jingle bell Rock” in the background, you were impressed that it took only two tries for Zach to set up something as easy as a stereo system. Although his hard work would soon become irrelevant again because the big-ass karaoke machine was now finally inside the office and on its way to the living room.

“Whoa, great job with the tree guys!” Chris exclaimed, wiping some sweat off of his brow before taking off his jacket and scarf.

“Yeah, wait till you see the first batch of cookies.” Lyle said jokingly, nodding toward the kitchen where Adam and Cory were peeking their heads out. “The cookies look good," both of them exclaimed, almost in unison.

“I’m sure you guys did your absolute best.” Tomar gifted them a warm smile, his fatherly demeanor unmistakable in his words.

A genuine smile broke from Adam’s lips: “Thank you Tomar!” to which the other shot him a thumbs up.

Chris then got to setting up the whole machine and for some reason, everyone including you just decided to watch him quietly. There wasn’t really much to do, the tree had been set up, the cookies were cooki(e)ng and music was playing. All of that combined created a sort of awkward atmosphere with some cover of “Winter Wonderland” playing quietly in the background.

Suddenly, Chris stopped handling the cable to turn around to face the onlookers. “What the fuck are you retards doing? Booze is in my car, Jesus christ.”

Lyle was the first to run outside, you and Zach following swiftly after.

As the first opened the trunk, he let out a sound of astonishment. “Holy shit- how much does he want us to drink?”

The trunk was filled with beer, rum, mulled wine and ingredients for eggnog. There was so much that it was no surprise that none of it had fallen over, there was literally no room for anything to fall over.

You rolled up your sleeves and clapped your hands together dramatically. “Alright, let’s get this stuff inside.”

Zach let out a guttural whine as he heaved the first six pack from the trunk, over exaggerating the physical effort to a maximum.

“Stop whining or I’ll give you something to whine about.” You joked at him. Lyle was already gone with some of the wine and rum under his arms.

Zack spat back at you: “Well maybe I’d like that!”

You both looked at each other for a second, blankly staring into the other ones eyes before bursting out into laughter.

“Alright dude, c’mon let’s get this over with.”

20 minutes and a couple of back’s cracking later, all of the booze was finally inside and the karaoke machine was all set up. The fridge had also been emptied for the eggnog and beer, leaving all of the healthy stuff on the counter, unrefrigerated. Cory’s response to your worry about there being mold was simply: “nah it’ll be fine.” And who were you to argue against such a well-thought-out point. (You tried and were just met with the same response).

Soon all of you found yourselves huddled together in the living room. Adam and you taking the carpet as the others made themselves comfortable on the couch.

“Okay! Who’s gonna bless us first with their beautiful, god-given voice?” Everyone’s eyes landed on Zach who shook his head profusely. “Nu-uh, no way. I’m not gonna go first, I’m not drunk enough to embarrass myself like that!” Cory stuffed a beer into his face and Chris was expectantly looking at him. He was the only one standing, excitedly holding out the mic to his friend.

“I hate you people, all of you.” He said, but gave in eventually (after downing about half the bottle in one go.)

After Zach’s (very sentimental) performance of “Don’t stop believing”, Lyle followed with a very metal rendition of “I want it that way.” Growling his way through the song apparently.

You finally decided to get on the couch between Chris and Cory since your bones did not like the floor as much as you had hoped.

Chris laughed out loud multiple times as he listened in on Zach, Tomar and Adam who were desperately trying to get the latter to understand how the machine worked and what song he wanted to pick.

As he doubled over, his hand landed on your leg as he tried to stabilize himself.

“Sir?” You exclaimed at him in a deep voice.

He realized then where his hand actually was. The alcohol seemingly giving him drunk-courage though with how his hand was moving upwards now.

“Oh- oh I’m sorry, I didn't mean to.” He kept babbling, his hand moving further, sending you into a fit of giggles.

“Chris!” You laughed a little louder as his hand was now dangerously close to your lap.

“Sorry, sorry.” He chuckled and removed his hand, holding it up in a feigned gesture of ‘you got me’.

Just as Cory was about to ask what is taking so long with the next song, Adam suddenly spoke up loudly, pointing outside:

“Oh my god it’s snowing!”

As if you were all connected through some secret hivemind, all of your heads whipped around to the balcony.

It was actually snowing. Holy shit.

In a matter of seconds, everyone put on their jackets, boots, scarfs and hats, storming outside to marvel at such a true christmas miracle.

Zach and Adam tried to catch the flakes with their tongues almost immediately upon arriving outside.

You were astonished as you stood there. Under the streetlights, the snow seemed to dance, each little snow crystal seeming like little stars falling from the sky.

“You alright there kiddo?”

Tomar came up to you, putting a hand on your shoulder as he spoke.

“Yeah just- just really surprised is all..” You huffed, leaning into the touch of the man beside you. The temperature dropped quite quickly.

“As soon as there's enough snow for me to form a ball, y'all better run!” you heard Lyle shout from across the lot, he and Chris were trying to gather as many flakes as possible. They were really hopeful for a snowball fight.

“Me too, I reckon we enjoy the snow for now though, might be gone in like an hour.”

You nodded, following him further out.

It didn't take long for everyone to fully revert back to little kids, you included.

Shaking the snow from one person's beanie into the hair of the other or picking up a little from the ground and trying to stuff it in someone else's face. Truly, no one was safe.

The Presents had long been disregarded, almost forgotten in the Winter wonderland you now found yourself in.

Even if it was a cliché, among the merriment and laughter around you, you realized that maybe the real Christmas was the friends you made along the way

:)

[colorsunimaginable]

the spare // chapter sixty-seven // death eater ! tom hiddleston oc x plus size ofc - voldemort wins au

story summary: 

While on a mission to avenge the death of her best friend, Ilvermorny graduate Melisa Alder finds herself in the middle of the fight to defeat Voldemort. Upon capture after the Dark Lord's triumph, she's being sold at an auction with other muggle borns and blood traitors. Her only hope is also her only bidder - the tall, dark, and handsome Thomus Malfoy, Lucius Malfoy's younger half-brother. Is he just another Death Eater or is he hiding more than just his face beneath the mask? Will she realize her true potential to be one of the resistance's greatest weapons?

*a Voldemort Wins AU with Tom Hiddleston cast as an OC x a plus size protagonist* *takes place in The Auction universe by Lovesbitca8*

words for this chapter: 8k warnings for this chapter: drinking, a wee bit of p in v

CHAPTER MASTERLIST

my lovely beta reader 💕 banner credit @cafekitsune

Chapter Sixty-Seven:

It’s the day after Christmas and I spend it overthinking, worried about this ‘gathering’ at Cliveden. To distract myself, I fiddle around with the new camera Thomus bought me. 

And I might have taken a few… dozen pictures of him. 

Okay, that might be an exaggeration, but regardless I now have images of him sitting at the kitchen table with a book, typing away at his desk on the typewriter, and even one I convinced him to take with me in the reflection of the bathroom mirror. 

“I think I’m… nervous,” I say as we’re getting ready to leave.

Thomus finishes adjusting the collar of his cloak around the collar of his sweater and gives me a curious look. “You likely have more in common with them than I do.”

I shift on my feet, clutching the Tupperware full of cookies tighter. “I highly doubt that. Ever since you told me about this party, all I can think about is the time you spanked me in front of them.” A satisfied smile spreads across his face as he chuckles and pulls a forest green knit scarf from beneath his cloak. “Are we all just supposed to pretend like that never happened?” He steps closer and loops the scarf around my neck, eyes focused on the task. “Are you even listening?”

“Of course.” His eyes snap up to mine as he flips one end of the scarf over my shoulder and the other down my front. “You have nothing to worry about.”

I release a strained groan and fidget with my Ilvermorny Christmas sweater, pulling the hem further down around my hips. “Let’s just go.”

We Apparate straight there and I’m gonna be honest, I have no idea what to expect. The few parties Jacob Astor has hosted that I’ve witnessed have varied wildly. From a super serious Death Eater meeting about human trafficking to dancing with Thomus while high on a lust potion - you never really know. Not to mention, the usual crowd has been an unfortunate audience to my most embarrassing moments in the last six months. 

I shudder out of my thoughts while we trek to the large hosting room. The smell hits me first, cinnamon and oranges, and then I register the song playing gently from the corner of the room, Bing Crosby’s White Christmas . An Elf snaps away our outerwear as we approach the open doors.

The room is absolutely decked out . Floating candles light the room, hovering just under the high ceiling. Fake snow drifts down from a dim grey sky, fresh holly on every sconce. In the center of the room against the windows is a massive tree, covered in tinsel and twinkling lights. The grand fireplace is crackling with a delicious smelling fire. We walk closer to the tree, where people are gathered around on couches and chairs, and I can make out what lights the top of the tree... A bright, glowing Deathly Hallows mark. 

Well, that’s fucking weird.

I don’t have time to think on it further before Jacob Astor is standing before us. He looks as dashing as ever and not so surprised that I’m not currently blind. He smiles at both Thomus and me, and I wish I could tell if he’s being sincere.

“Glad you guys could make it,” Jake says cheerfully as he shakes Thomus’ hand, but he’s looking at me. 

Thomus smiles in return, looking more relaxed than he usually does when we’re out. “Wouldn’t miss it.”

As they exchange a few more pleasantries, my eyes wander beyond Jake, trying to see if there’s any familiar faces. I clock Kyle sitting near Will when Jake says something that recaptures my attention. “I see you had your very own Christmas miracle.” 

Thomus’ arm slides around my waist. “Yes, I had some very good luck.”

I don’t miss the double meaning to his words. I wanna remark about how his good luck was really my hard work, but I bite my tongue and force a shy smile as Jake turns to shake my hand as well.

Jake gestures to a food and drinks table set up along a wall. “Help yourselves. I think Will’s trying to start up some drinking games here in a minute.”

I start walking toward the table before Thomus, mostly because I’m eager to exchange this box of cookies for something with alcohol in it. Towards the desert section, I glance back over my shoulder to make sure no one but Thomus is watching me slide trays aside, making enough room for my offering. 

Finally with free hands, I scooch next to Thomus standing by the drinks. 

“Can I pour you anything?” he asks me. 

My eyes scan the bottles, then point to the one I want. “Yeah, can I get orange juice with Malibu?”

He reaches for the white bottle I pointed to and pours a double into the iced glass he’s holding. “Coconut rum?” he questions as he’s reaching for the pitcher of orange liquid. 

“It’s my go-to,” I say as I grab a coffee straw, taking the glass and stirring it once it’s full. I take a sip and it’s just right. He’s busy pouring his own glass of whiskey, but I offer him the straw anyway. “Wanna try?”

I briefly pull his eyes away from pouring as he leans down to wrap his lips around the straw. There’s just something about seeing his jaw flex like that that has me pinching myself. 

“Well, it’s certainly a combination of flavors,” he says after swallowing. 

I snort and forget what I’m about to say when I feel an arm brush my other shoulder. When I see who it is, I relax. “Oh, hi.”

Will’s eyes immediately find the box that doesn’t match the rest of the dishes and nabs one of the bright red cookies. “Oh, hi,” he teases after he takes a bite. His face is sans beard and rocking a stache now. “You guys ready to get trashed?”

“What’re we playing?” I ask, taking a few big pulls of my drink.

“Anything,” Will answers immediately. He pulls out his wand and summons a tray pre-loaded with tiny cauldrons just big enough for shots. A bottle of firewhiskey floats from the collection before us and starts filling the cauldrons. “Got nothin’ but a good time on the agenda.”

“Can we play Thunderstruck?” I ask. 

Will beams. “Fuck yeah we can play Thunderstruck.”

As Thomus and I follow Will back to where everyone else is gathered, Thomus leans in. “Should I know what that is?”

I can’t help but smile. “Oh, you’ll find out.”

There’s an empty loveseat Thomus pulls me onto. He tucks his arm around my waist again as he settles back, practically tucking me into his side. 

As Will passes out the shot cauldrons, I can finally sneak a peek at who’s actually here. Kyle and Will - and obviously Jake. That Roosevelt guy is here, too, but I forget his first name. There’s a pretty blond woman talking to Jake that I don’t recognize and… oh, that’s it. Small group, I see. Which I will admit I’m glad for. 

I take the first shot that Will offers me and I down it immediately before putting it back and grabbing another one. I haven’t really eaten much today, so the alcohol hits my stomach like a warm blast.

“Alright, I wanna make a toast,” Jake announces, standing with his shot held out towards the blond next to him. “Firstly, to my sister, Diana, for the last minute decorating.”

“Well, you obviously weren’t going to do it,” Diana says with a laugh. 

“Exactly,” he says. “And then to all of you - for making this past year as successful as it has been.”

For one blissful moment I had allowed myself to forget why I was here, why they’ve had such a successful year. It takes .2 seconds for the anxious pit in my chest to grow twice its size. I’m the first one to finish my shot and then sip heavily on my cocktail to wash the taste down.

“Alright, the first game we’re playing is Thunderstruck, so everyone top off their drinks,” Will says, heading over to where the Christmas music’s playing from. 

Since mine is already more than halfway gone, I shoot to my feet to fill it back up. I’m not the first one to the drinks table because Kyle is there ladeling in some kind of fizzing purple punch. 

“Want one?” Kyle asks as I glance over my shoulder at Thomus, who briefly looked at me before turning to greet Diana.

“Yes, please,” I reply. “Two actually.”

“This your doing or his?” he asks, his voice low. By this he doesn’t even have to clarify - I just know.

I look up at him and shrug with one shoulder. “Mine.”

“Hmph,” he grunts unhappily. He finishes filling the first glass and then starts the second.

“What, don’t believe me?” I ask, taking a sip of the punch. Elderberry and something that tastes like Aloe juice. 

“I believe you,” he says quickly. “Now it’s just my turn to hold up my end of the bargain.”

I sigh heavily. “You haven’t figured out how to get me away from Thomus yet, have you?”

“Well, I have a few ideas, but I don’t think you’re going to like them.”

“Such as?”

Before he can answer, we get called back to the group to start the song. I’m supposed to hide the fact that I have my magic, so with both hands I carefully cradle my half drink plus the two new ones back to the loveseat. Thomus is still chatting with Diana, a conversation I’ve completely tuned out, so I just slide our drinks onto the coffee table in front of us. 

“Melisa, can you explain the rules?” Will asks. 

I’m a bit taken aback by the use of my whole first name - especially being pronounced correctly - instead of my last. Everyone’s eyes are on me now, so I take a deep breath before spilling the details. “Okay so, we go in a circle and every time the song says ‘thunder’, one person drinks until they say ‘thunder’ again, and then the next person starts and so on and so forth, does that make sense?”

“I’ll start!” Will says before pressing play and jogging over. He comes to sit on the armrest of our loveseat.

The first few thunders come in quick succession, so once Will goes, I go, and then Thomus. The thunders go around the circle a few times before the first long stretch lands on Thomus, who has to finish his whiskey, and with some encouragement, grabs the punch I push towards him. With the circle being small, by the time the song’s over, everyone has finished their drinks.

“Now that we’ve all settled in,” Will jokes, “the next game we’re playing is called Captain.” He sets the music back to Christmas music and turns the volume down to a background level. “Usually, it’s played with a pirate's hat or a sailors hat, but since it’s Christmas - “ he waves his wand and a Santa hat appears on Diana’s head, much to her delight “ - this is what we’ve got. Does everyone know how to play?”

I shake my head, noticing the alcohol has started to loosen my limbs. I’d finished my cocktail during the game and have started on the punch - which I swear keeps refilling itself.

Diana rubs her hands together conspiratorially and leans forward over Thomus to explain. “Whoever has the hat gets to pick someone to do a dare. If they do the dare, then we all take a shot and they get the hat, but if they don’t then they’re out of the game. Last person in the game wins.”

I smile at her. “Please don’t pick me first.”

She laughs. “Don’t worry, I got my eyes on someone else.” She jerks her chin towards Jake, who immediately dons this ‘oh shit’ face. She leans back, crossing her arms with a shit eating grin.

“Why’s it called Captain?” I ask. “Just because of the hat?”

“Whenever someone gets the hat, we’re supposed to say ‘Aye, Aye Captain’,” Thomus explains for me, his face leaning in close. 

I immediately giggle. “Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?”

He runs his hand down my thigh and tilts his head in confusion. “What?”

I shift in my seat, getting closer to him so our thighs touch. “Nevermind.”

“Aye, aye Captain!” Roosevelt and Will shout. 

Diana taps her chin like she’s still considering. “Hmm, dear brother, what shall I make you do?” Then she grins. “I dare you to take your socks off with your teeth and wear them tucked into your collar for the rest of the game.”

My head quickly swivels to where Jake is sitting to get his reaction and he does not disappoint. His face scrunches up in disgust as he slouches in his seat, already toeing off his nice shoes. 

“Hopefully those aren’t the ones you were wearing yesterday,” Will laughs. “Or are they?”

“Shut your trap, Hoffman,” Jake grumbles. 

We all wait with baited breath as he grabs his calf to pull his foot closer to his face. He quickly traps the sock between his bared teeth and pulls. It slips off and he does the same to the other one before tucking them both into his collar. 

He grins triumphantly and quickly summons house slippers for his bare feet. “Ha!” he says. “Drink up, assholes.”

We all take our drinks as the Santa hat gets transferred to Jake. 

“Aye, Aye Captain!” we all shout. 

His eyes jump from person to person, and he’s quick to settle on Kyle, who clearly isn’t paying attention. 

Kyle’s sole focus is on Thomus, blatantly staring at him with something akin to determination and consideration. 

The look quickly disperses as my stare gives Jake’s intention away and Kyle’s expression neutralizes. 

“Kyle,” Jake says. “I dare you to serenade the person to your right.”

Kyle sighs dramatically, rubbing his hand down his face. “I’m not nearly drunk enough for this.”

Nevertheless, he swiftly gets down on his knees in front of Diana, a hand clutched over his heart. As he’s clearly about to break out in song, I briefly wonder if he’ll have a decent singing voice, and I find out soon enough as he belts out the easily recognizable first notes to All I Want for Christmas is You . His voice is off-pitch and scratchy, and I genuinely can’t tell if he’s being bad on purpose or not. Everyone starts laughing and I can’t help but join in. 

When he gets to the end of the first verse, he takes Diana’s hand and gives the back of it an exaggerated kiss. We give him a round of applause as he takes his seat. Jake gives Kyle the hat while we take our drink for the round.

It doesn’t surprise me that Kyle chooses Thomus, I only worry what he’ll make him do. He’s looking around, trying to come up with an idea until his eyes land on Thomus’ drink in his hand. 

“Malfoy, I triple doxy dare you to… finish yours and Alder’s drinks in one go.”

Thomus scoffs. “And here I thought you were going to pick something difficult.” He quickly finishes the rest of his punch in a few gulps before trading glasses with me. “Tada,” he proudly announces after easily downing the rest of mine, then he stands holding our four empty glasses by the rim in one hand. “Drink up.”

As Thomus goes across the room to refill our punch, Kyle leans forward, staring at me intently. 

“We need to get him drunk,” he hisses low. 

I blink at him in surprise, then jump my gaze first to Thomus’ back and then to the rest of the group. No one seems as surprised as I am. Even Roosevelt, who I overheard someone refer to him as Eric, doesn’t bat an eye. Is everyone in on this plot?

“That’s your plan?” Will asks incredulously.

“It’s the start of one,” Kyle answers. “Get him so drunk he passes out and she can just… leave.”

“Just leave ?” I ask. I look to the windows, searching for that shimmer from the magical barrier from before. “What about -”

“The tattoo doesn’t work here,” Jake quickly adds. “And there aren't any additional wards to trap you here.”

Everyone is looking at me, waiting for my response. My heart has leapt to my throat to block any logistical questions I have before Thomus swoops back into his seat.

“What’s that look for?” Thomus asks me. I quickly snatch the glass he hands me to swallow my thrumming heart back into my chest. 

Diana jumps in for my rescue. “I was just telling her about my ex.”

“Oh Merlin,” Thomus groans, slumping back against the loveseat. “It’s not a story about me, is it?”

What? Jesus fuck, these people keep smacking bludgers at me one after another. 

I try not to react outwardly to the news that Diana and Thomus used to date, even if this news is just as jarring as the imminent plan for my escape from him. I focus on her, really taking in what she looks like. Extremely tall and willowy with big round hazel eyes and a cupid’s bow mouth. Jealousy flares up inside because I can’t help but compare us. Her thighs combined are the size of just one of mine. 

She flips her long dirty blond hair over her shoulder and crosses her legs, perching an elbow on the armrest of her chair. “No, but I ought to, shouldn’t I?”

“Definitely not,” Thomus says, quickly sitting forward with a hand outstretched towards Kyle. “Pass me the hat.” He settles the white faux fur rim of the Santa hat over his dark curls. 

“Aye aye, Captain!” they all shout. I’m too anxious and fixate my eyes on my drink, still fizzing on the coffee table in front of me. My mind is racing with all that could potentially happen. Where would I go? How long could I hide? Could I be summoned back because of the tattoo? If the idea is to get me close to Voldemort, wouldn’t fleeing just put a target on my back? I wonder if I’d be able to get a message to Hermione about -

Thomus’ hand brushes down my arm. “Melisa?”

My eyes snap to his, focused on me, and I swallow around nothing. “Yeah? Sorry.”

He gives me a sly smile. “It’s your turn.”

“Alright,” I sigh, making a face. “Lay it on me.”

He takes a deep breath and I expect it to be something genuinely challenging, but in all honesty it’s a bit underwhelming. “I dare you to sing the alphabet… backwards.”

I snort. “Jokes on you because I was taught that in the second grade.” 

“Oh, I’m sure,” he grins. “Let’s hear it, then.”

Looking at him, I feel less nervous about making a fool of myself in front of everyone else. So I start to sing, keeping my eyes on him or on his person, because after a few moments the prolonged eye contact makes my face heat. 

Even after I’m finished with the letters, I keep going with the end of the song. “ Now we know our ZYXs’, next time we will go to Texas. ”

Will laughs. “Why the fuck are we going to Texas?”

I shrug. “I don’t know. Ask Mr. Morley.”

“Who the fuck is that?”

“My elementary school music teacher,” I reply smoothly. “Now drink the fuck up.”

Jake is the first to finish his drink, so he stands to get a refill. “We should play something else. All our dares suck, no ones gotten out yet.”

“I’ve got a good one,” I say quickly. I’d taken a drink, too, because why not? Who wants to make hard decisions sober?

I pluck the Santa hat off Thomus’ head and slip it over mine. “You ready, Will?”

Will squares his shoulders, facing me dead on, expression serious. “Born ready.”

“I dare you to recite a poem - any poem, but you -” I start to blow a raspberry with my tongue in between every word “- have to talk like this.”

Will snickers. “You got that from Spongebob.”

“So what if I did? You still gotta do it,” I smile. “And I don’t think I heard my ‘aye aye, Captain’.”

Jake and Kyle are the only ones who don’t say it. Kyle is lost in his thoughts if his dead eye stare at his drink is evidence enough, and Jake is too far away at the food and drinks table to care.

It’s hard to keep the grin off my face as Will complies with my dare. “ Mosquito lands on my cheek. I try to slap her, but I just slap me. ” He finishes by standing with a bow. 

“That’s it?” Diana protests. “It was so short.”

“It’s a haiku,” Thomus explains. “A type of Japanese poem.”

“Oh, yeah that’s right,” she says. “Do you still work for the Daily Prophet? Or has that taken a backseat for… other things?” 

“A bit of both, really,” he sighs. “The Dark Lord hasn’t required much of me lately, so I’ve been helping Barnabas Cuffe with editing. In addition to helping my sister-in-law with the New Year’s Eve Gala she’s hosting.”

“Speaking of,” Jake says, rejoining the group, “why weren’t we invited?” It’s obvious he’s not really offended, just genuinely curious. 

Thomus sighs and speaks with a hint of resentment. “Only the Sacred Twenty-Eight and whoever’s crawled up through the Dark Lord’s ranks, I’m afraid. Not even the Lots are allowed to be present.”

“Well, if you’re free, Melisa,” Diana says, speaking to me. “You’re welcome to come to a New Years Eve party here. It would just be us and a few of my girlfriends from Oxford.”

I’m genuinely shocked and flattered that this goddess is inviting me to a party, but I know that this has to be a backup plan for escape if tonight doesn’t go as Kyle wants it. I don’t even get a chance to respond because Thomus puts a possessive hand on my leg, wedging his long fingers into the tight space between my thighs. 

“Unfortunately, that’s not possible,” Thomus says, speaking for me with a tone of finality, and doesn’t even bother to explain why.

She peers at us curiously for a moment before realization dawns. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I totally forgot.”

The tray with all our mini shot cauldrons fill back up as Thomus just gives a silent nod of acknowledgement. 

We play another couple rounds of Captain before all the drinks finally start to do their job and loosen everyone up. I know I’m starting to feel it, especially when I stand to go find a bathroom. 

Thomus insists on accompanying me, especially when I steer towards the bathroom down by the kitchens. He takes me back out to the lobby, showing me where the bathrooms are there. Secretly, I’m glad, because I don’t think I’d be able to make it up and down all those stairs without tripping at least once. I don’t think Thomus would either, based on how many times he bumps into me. 

He even follows me into the women’s bathroom, insisting that it doesn’t matter since we’re the only ones in there. 

“I didn’t realize how clingy you were,” I tease, saddling my way into one of the stalls to do my business.

He slides into the one next to me. “Oh, poppycock. I’m just being a gentleman and making sure you don’t fall in.”

My laugh is sharp and loud in the echoey bathroom. “That actually happened to me when I was in preschool. The seat wasn’t down so my butt got all wet and I just sat there waiting to be rescued by a teacher.”

I hear his warm chuckle. “How old were you?”

“Four,” I say as I finish and leave the stall to wash my hands. He joins me a moment later, still chuckling to himself. “What?”

He shakes his head absently. “Nothing, you’re just… adorable.”

I snort as I reach for a paper towel. “Right.”

He dries his hands too and quickly reaches for me as I try to pass him to the door. He leans back against the counter, a hand on my hip and one on my cheek, pulling me towards him. I don’t resist and lean into him, our lips quickly meeting. My arms snake around his waist, wanting a hug at the same time, because it strikes me that if I leave tonight… this could be it. 

I still have a million doubts and questions that need answered, but right now… right now he wants me and I need to bask in it for as long as I can, while I still have the chance.

I deepen the kiss and I boldly slip one of my hands to the front of his jeans. He’s already semi-hard, but at my touch, he groans and bites my lip. 

“You want to do this here?” he asks, his voice husky.

I nod, my other hand coming around to undo his pants and slip my hand inside. “I want you so bad.”

He drags kisses along my jaw and down my neck. “It’ll have to be quick.”

“And hard,” I breathe, practically panting with want already.

Determination in his movements now, he flips us around until my fupa is pressed against the sink counter and he’s grinding against my ass. He moves my hair away from my neck, sensually kissing the soft spot below my ear. Over my sweater his hands slowly grope down from my chest, then my stomach and the fleshy “handles”, as he’s called them before, where my fupa meets my hips. 

I push my ass back against him. “I thought you said we had to be quick.”

He bites my neck, wringing a moan from me. “Patience,” he warns. 

One hand lets go of my handle and slips underneath to firmly cup the junction between my legs. I sigh heavily and whine, rocking my hips, increasing the pressure on my clit. 

“Fuck,” he groans out. Finally he hooks his fingers into my waistband and yanks my pants and undies down to my knees. I push my ass out towards him when he takes a step back to pull his cock out. He moans when his tip pushes through my lips, feeling how wet I am. Then he doesn’t waste a second longer and slides home. 

I cry out, biting my lip in an attempt to keep it muffled. I plant my hands on the smooth cold counter and immediately start rocking back and forth, desperately impatient. With a hand on the center of my back, he pushes me forward while snapping his hips to my ass, seamlessly sliding into the pace I’d set. Quick staccato slapping echoes around the room as he thrusts hard and deep. My eyes roll back into my head, hardly aware of the noises I’m making because I’m too busy losing my mind to the pleasure.

He slows all too soon, pulling me back up to attach his mouth to my neck again. My back bends to accommodate him, and while still keeping him buried to the hilt, my chest juts out. He takes advantage of the position and pushes my sweater up until his fingers find the band of my bra and he pushes that up too. My heavy breasts fall into his hands and he groans, pinching my nipples, and fucking into me with slow, but hard thrusts. 

My eyes flutter open briefly, a sudden urge to see. He’s fucked me in front of a mirror before, but he hasn’t done it since I’ve gotten my sight back. Admittedly, I have a bit of an out of body experience, looking at what’s happening instead of feeling it. I hate what I look like, of course. Sometimes in my head I look different than I really do and seeing myself in the mirror can be pretty jarring. 

But then I look at Thomus’ face. He’s so… wrapped up in me, hands full, mind clearly numb with ecstasy. 

I close my eyes again, grimacing, swallowing down the sudden onslaught of longing and loss. It’s probably all the alcohol, but tears fill my vision because I just can’t bear losing this. I quickly blink them away, avoiding looking in the mirror again. 

I don’t want to ruin the moment, so I start pushing back against him again, urging him to pick up the pace. 

He obliges me for a few moments until he slows to a stop. He’s still panting and holding me against him before he sighs heavily.

“Darling, you feel amazing, but I don’t think I can finish,” he murmurs hesitantly, sounding regretful. 

I nod, sniffling. “It’s okay, we can stop.”

He pulls out and I swiftly right myself, pants back over my hips, bra holding what it should, sweater in the right place. It’s only then that I look in the mirror again. Luckily he didn’t bite me too hard, so there’s no hickey to cover up. I just wet my fingers and run them through my hair before flipping it back over. Leaning close to the mirror, I check that my makeup is still good.

“Were you crying?” he asks point blank, staring at me in the mirror. 

“No,” I lie, but I feel a river about to gush out of my nose, so I quickly snag a paper towel and blow into it. “I just had to sneeze real bad and didn’t wanna ruin the moment.”

Fully dressed again, he slides a hand down my butt, gripping it appreciatively. “I’d be happy to help you finish,” he suggests.

I shake my head. “No, it’s okay,” I say, forcing a reassuring smile on my face. I rock up onto the balls of my feet to plant a quick kiss on his cheek. “Still scratched that itch and felt amazing.”

He takes my hand, pulling me to the door. “Then let’s get back. Hopefully they won’t give us too much grief for taking so long.” He smirks down at me and winks. Actually winks . It's such a quick thing, but it makes my heart contract in my chest with the need to be wrapped up in him again. 

God I’m so fucked.

~*~

As predicted, when we return Will and Jake are quick to wolf whistle. They’re over by the music and Thomus joins them while I sink into his seat next to Diana. My face has got to be as red as my sweater, but Diana doesn’t comment on it. She just hands me a full shot cauldron with an understanding look. Grateful, I take the shot. Getting dicked down sobered me a bit more than I wanted.

Eric is busy scribbling away in a little notebook and next to him is Kyle and his stupid judgmental face.

I ignore him and focus on Diana. “So what did you study at Oxford?”

“I studied Art History,” she says, “but I didn’t get, like, a degree or anything. I just wanted to know a little more about the art I was seeing in the museums here.”

“That’s one thing I haven’t done since I’ve gotten to England,” I say. “I used to love going to museums.”

She tilts her head, looking curious. “Were you meant to stay long?”

I shrug. “I had an internship at the Daily Prophet, which I’d been hoping would lead to a full time position at some point.”

“Oh, so you worked with Thomus then?” she asks. “You knew him… before.”

“No, actually,” I say, reaching over for my punch. “I… He wasn’t around all that much while I was there.” 

“What gives with the Deathly Hallows mark on the tree?” Kyle asks out of the blue. “You know it’s just a story, right?”

Diana, who’s clearly much more sober than Kyle is right now, looks at him without mirth. “It’s very real.”

I nod along, knowing all too well the truth behind the Deathly Hallows.

“Grindelwald murdered a lot of our family with the Elder Wand,” Diana continues. “Not to mention, I’ve seen invisibility cloaks with my own eyes.” She grimaces. “And yes, I know what I just said is an oxymoron.”

With another pull of my drink, I feel gutsy enough to ask something that’s been on my mind for a while. I lean closer to her and lower my voice. “So… has your brother… always been… “ I sigh. I feel silly saying ‘on our side’, but how else can I put it? “I don't know, I guess I'm asking about allegiances.”

Kyle gives me an ‘are you serious’ look. “Of course he’s been in on it,” he says, as if it should’ve been obvious. 

“The entire time?” I ask skeptically, distinctly remembering how not nice he was when we met the night Montague got beat the fuck up by Thomus.

“He’s playing the long game,” Diana explains. “Jake’s very good at wasting The Great Order’s time.” 

Her eyes are on the three men in the corner and I turn to look just as the three of them take a shot. “Does Thomus know?” I ask, my voice low.

“Thomus is under the impression that Jake just has reservations about certain things,” she says. 

“Participating without actually participating,” I surmise.

She nods. “Exactly.” Her gaze is drawn to Eric, and she stares at him for a moment before she asks, “What happened to your hand, Eric?”

Eric looks up, seeming to have forgotten where he was. He looks around and finds the three of us looking at him. Then the question seems to sink in and he looks down at his hand. Bandages wrap around his palm and twist up his two middle fingers.

“Oh, I uh, had a bit of an accident a few days ago,” he says. “Working on the…“ He eyes me for a second before looking back at Diana. “On the thing.”

“You don’t have to speak in code,” Kyle says to him. “She can handle a few more secrets.”

I nod in agreement, though really it has nothing to do with how good I am at keeping secrets. I’m just too nosey for my own good.

“Right, sure, yeah,” Eric says. He looks down at his notebook. “I’m having a bit of a timing issue. I think I’ve got the explosive strong enough, but it seems the stronger it gets, the less time I have before it goes off.”

I quickly glance back at Thomus, catching him downing another shot, before turning back and whispering, “You’re building a bomb?”

He nods. “Something powerful enough to break through Anti-Apparition wards.”

My eyes widen. “That’s a thing?”

The corners of his mouth turn up in an amused grin. “I’m definitely trying to make it one.”

“Do you have the recipe?” I ask, a bit eager. “I’ve had a similar issue with magical film developer. I might be able to help.”

“Yeah, here.” He flips through a couple pages until he lands on a spread that’s definitely got more use than the rest, then passes it to me.

As I scan the page, I see that a few of the core ingredients are the same, just how they’re incorporated is slightly different. The measurements are also scaled down for testing purposes.

“If this were to scale, how much willow root would you add?” I ask. 

“The entire root, but I chop it up.”

“If you grind it down into a powder and then weigh it, it’s easier to be more precise with the amount you add,” I explain, not looking up from the page. “And you’re not adding nearly enough bursting mushroom powder.”

When I look up, Eric’s head is tilted, his eyes unfocused, his mind clearly running away from him with this new information. “Interesting,” he says. 

“Magical film developing potion always implodes on itself. It’s just a fact. But I’ve made it so much that I can time it down to the second it’ll implode,” I explain. “Would you… want me to write the recipe down for you? Then you can compare.”

He blinks back into focus, nodding eagerly. “Yes, please do. Here.” He passes me his pen and I quickly jot down my recipe on the next available page in his book.

By the time I’m done, the music gets turned up, and the three in the corner start making their way over to us. I toss down the rest of my drink before reaching for Thomus’, but Kyle stops me. 

“Don’t,” he warns.

I quickly put two and two together. “What did you put in here?” I demand with a hushed voice.

“Relax,” he says, standing. “It’s just something to speed things up.”

Completely oblivious, Thomus plops right down next to me, swinging his arm around my shoulders. 

“Is that mine?” he asks, not bothering to wait for my response before he grabs his drink and chugs it. He audibly plonks the glass onto the coffee table and turns to me, grinning mischievously from ear to ear, looking like he has a dirty secret he can’t wait to share with me. I return his smile with a hesitant one of my own. 

He leans close to speak in my ear, though he’s not exactly quiet. “Have I told you how beautiful you are?”

My face immediately flushes because everyone heard that. I look around in panic to find everyone staring at us, too. Their expressions aren’t of disgust, though, just surprise.

“Oh my god,” I say, covering my face with my hands. I shoot to my feet. “I need a drink.”

As I speed away, I hear Thomus ask, “What did I say?”

I glance over my shoulder to see Diana covering her mouth in a fit of giggles and Jake shakes his head. “Dude.”

I’m munching on one of my red cookies when Thomus comes up behind me, his hand drifting down my back to settle on my waist. “What’s the matter?” he asks.

“Nothing. You just -” I glance up at him, noting his dilated pupils and flushed cheeks. “I guess I’ve just never seen you so relaxed. Especially around other people. And we’re acting like we’re…” My heart’s thundering in my chest as I force the last few words out. “Like we’re a couple.”

He turns to face me and leans a hip on the table. “You’re right, it is a bit out of our usual routine,” he admits, his expression serious. “I apologize if I’ve made you uncomfortable.”

I sigh and shrug a shoulder. “No more than you usually do.” I put my hand over his where it rests on the table, pushing the tips of my fingers against his knuckles. “And I don’t hate… this, how it feels, you know? It’s just hard to pair it with everything else,” I say. “If that makes sense.”

He nods slowly, looking down at our hands. “This is all new for me, if you can believe it,” he says softly. “I just wanted you to enjoy yourself.”

I bump his hip with mine. “Hey, we fucked in the bathroom. I’d say I'm having a decent time.”

He snickers and leans in to kiss my cheek. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

I don’t know how to respond to that, based on tonight’s agenda, but luckily Will calls us over from a card table Jake summoned to play Exploding Snap.

~*~

A little while later we’re all sitting around the card table. I’ve elected not to play since I don’t have my wand and technically Thomus doesn’t know that they know I have my magic.

Throughout the game, Thomus gets noticeably drunker than everyone else, despite only sipping his drink. During one round while waiting for his turn, I guess all the drinks and whatever Kyle spiked his drink with, finally catch up with him. He passes out with his head propped in one hand and the other loosely clutching his cards. 

When they notice, the room goes silent except for the Christmas music still playing. Kyle slowly reaches over and shakes Thomus’ shoulder, making his head fall right onto the table with an ominous thunk that does not match the vibe of McCartney’s Wonderful Christmastime .

I stare at his face, overwhelmingly anxious about his well-being, when an uncharacteristic snore breaks through the silence between songs. 

“Finally,” Jake sighs, tossing his cards onto the table and running a hand over his face. “You sure about this, Kyle? There’s no turning back from this.”

Kyle stands, pulling out his wand. “Trust me. This is the only way.’

“What happens now?” I ask. 

Kyle moves Thomus’ unconscious form into the air where he hovers with his arms and head dangling.

But he doesn’t answer me. 

“ Kyle ,” I press, “what happens now?”

“Now, we put him to bed and by the time he wakes in the morning, you’ll be long gone,” he answers, moving with Thomus towards the stairs on the other side of the room.

I stand too, quickly following him to demand answers. “Where, exactly, will I be?”

“That’s up to you,” he answers casually. “You can probably get away with hiding here in this massive fucking house until he leaves.”

“What, you think he’s just gonna accept that I’m gone?” I ask. “No questions asked?”

“Yeah, we’ll just tell him you must’ve left in the middle of the night or something. What room am I putting him in, Jake?”

We’ve gotten to the stairs and it’s only then I realize everyone has followed us, with Will right behind me. 

“Three doors down from the top of the stairs,” Jake answers. “On the left.”

I realize it’s the same room he put us in before and my face heats at the memory of being bound to the wall and fingered within an inch of my life. We get into the room and I rush forward to pull the velvety soft duvet back from the pillows. Kyle gently lowers him and I make sure he’s settled properly to avoid potentially choking on his own vomit in his sleep. 

“What now?” I ask, pulling off Thomus’ shoes and tucking his legs under the blankets before pulling up the unfitted sheet to his chest.

“Merlin,” Kyle exclaims. “Will you quit it?”

I cross my arms over my chest. “ No , I won’t,” I say tightly. “We need this figured out before there’s no going back.”

“Fine,” he says, mimicking my stance and leaning against the wall. “What’re you so worried about?”

I take a deep breath, trying to speak calmly. “What makes you so sure he’s not going to find me?”

“What do you mean?”

“He’s literally the Death Eater’s best tracker.”

“He hasn’t found George Weasley,” Will says.

“I’ve no fucking idea how George has managed to avoid getting caught by anyone , given how much of a high profile he has, but there’s no way I could do the same and be close to Voldemort like you want. A missing Lot? The Death Eaters are gonna go apeshit.”

“What about that Lot that escaped early on? Killed her owner and everything,” Kyle says.

“I’m pretty positive she’s straight up left the country,” I say, talking with my hands. “And I don’t think any of us are on board with killing him.”

Kyle nearly rolls his eyes. “I never said we had to kill him,” he says. “You’re here, out of your wards. There’s no need.”

“Okay, well me leaving the country is the exact opposite of what we want,” I say and start to pace. “How long would I be hiding?”

“I don’t know,” Kyle answers, shrugging. “Could be months.”

“Great, so you’re just gonna come get me when it’s time to, what, attack Hogwarts? Do you really think there’s gonna be another fight there? Or are we waiting for him to make an appearance somewhere?”

“I’ve heard he’s pretty reclusive right now, actually,” Will pipes in. “He hardly leaves the school.”

“Great!” I exclaim with fake enthusiasm. “So I’ll just camp out in the Forbidden Forest, then? Take my chances at running into Dementors, Death Eaters, centaurs, fuckin’ giant spiders , for fucks’ sake?”

“Girl’s got a point, Kyle,” Jake says, shoving his hands in his pockets and leaning against the ornate bed post. 

“Well, what else is she going to do? She’s useless to The True Order just playing house with a Malfoy,” Kyle says.

“Hey, I’ve done stuff,” I protest. “I’ve passed important notes to the Order, hidden a fugitive right under Thomus’ nose, and it was me who got the word to that safehouse that it was going to be raided.”

“ What ?!” Jake looks at me absolutely stunned. “That was you?”

“Yes! Who else in that room from the meeting would’ve tipped them off?” I ask. “ And I’ve managed to become immune to that scary as shit magic suppression potion. Have you ever taken that shit? It’s utterly terrifying to not have your magic.” I stop my pacing and look around at all of them. “To be completely at the mercy of someone who couldn’t give a shit whether you lived or died? We’ve all been sterilized and raped and branded as property. ” 

I pull my left sleeve up, bearing the tattoo and the scars Bellatrix left me. Diana’s visibly horrified and everyone else just looks mildly uncomfortable. “And these are just the scars I’m willing to show you.”

I force myself to calm down, breathing deep in through my nose and out my mouth. “I’m not going to jump headfirst into a plan held together with Spellotape and superglue,” I say after a moment. “Thomus trusts you guys. Aren’t you his best friend, Jake? Are you really gonna break his trust by losing something he obviously has put a lot of time and effort into keeping alive?”

Kyle is glaring hard at the carpet and Jake's intense focus jumps between me and Thomus. 

Jake exhales heavily. “She’s right.”

My shoulder’s sag with relief. “Thank you.”

“We have to think of a legitimate way to get you away from him,” Diana says. “Do you think he’d ever… let you go?”

I frown. “Like… set me free?” 

She nods. “Then maybe you could get scooped up by another Death Eater or something, someone who works more closely with You-Know-Who or who’d… loan you, I guess.”

I turn around to gaze at Thomus, sleeping soundly, and recall every possessive look or grab he’s given me. “No,” I say softly. “There’s no way he’d let me go willingly.”

Kyle snorts. “Yeah I second that. The asshole nearly slits my throat if I even talk to her when he’s not around.”

“Even if I could convince him somehow,” I say, “it wouldn’t matter what he wanted. I know he’d use the Death Eaters as an excuse. He couldn’t pretend I was gone if someone saw me. The Malfoy’s reputation and the trust the Dark Lord has in them would be put in jeopardy. There’s no way he’d risk the lives of his family.”

“Is there anybody that out ranks him?” Will asks. “Someone who could make that choice for him.”

“I’m not sure, really,” I admit. “I’m sure there is, but I don’t know who. Someone older, like his brother maybe?”

“We just need a reason for them to take you from him,” Jake explains. “Like a change of… ownership.”

“Who, though?” I ask. “And why?”

“Probably best if that’s something for us to figure out,” Kyle says pointedly. “Just in case.”

I sigh heavily and start heading towards the door. “Whatever. All I care about is that it’s legit, okay? Something that’s not gonna get any of us killed.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Will agrees, stepping out of my way. “Where’re you going?”

“To stand outside and pretend that I’m free.”

[delinquentbookworm]

🌤️ 🌈

Ahh thank you for sending this Janelle! It took me so long to reply because you picked something soft and fluffy and basically none of my WIPs had anything like that. This is the closest I could find, it's from the Jace Hireling AU fic that I've been playing around with, and it's the night before Jace is supposed to leave to go with the Bad Kids.

There's a mention of sex, but nothing explicit.

"You saying you won't notice that I'm not there?"

Porter sat on the bed, watching Jace as he pulled the most practical, durable items of clothing he owned from the wardrobe and tossed them onto a pile. A pair of Mage Hands picked them up and folded them up, stacking them into his oversized adventurer's backpack. “Alright, so, I've got clothes, then I'll need to pack spell components, I'll need my backup focus… Oh, I should probably take some Devil's Honey with me too, just in case they ask about Arianwen.” Jace was murmuring, mostly to himself.

He wasn't looking Porter's way, wasn't doing anything particularly alluring. He wasn't wearing anything particularly revealing, either. Sure, the yoga pants were tight, but most of his body was obscured by the oversized, chunky knit sweater that he'd stolen from Porter, covering him up from his neck to about mid-thigh. And yet. And yet. Porter had never felt so enchanted by his little elf. Maybe it was the knowledge that they were going to be apart for the next few weeks; maybe it was the knowledge that Jace was doing something incredibly dangerous all on his own, just to help Porter's plan succeed. Either way, he couldn't just let this moment pass by. Porter pushed himself up from the bed and crossed the room, wrapping his arms around Jace from behind and planting a kiss on the top of Jace's head. He pressed his face against Jace’s curls, taking a deep inhale, smelling coconut and lilac, and all those ridiculous, expensive products his little elf put into his hair. Jace was such a pampered, pretty little thing; the thought of him roughing it and living out of a van for a couple of weeks straight was honestly kind of funny. Porter almost didn't know how he was going to cope. “Porter, you're making this kind of difficult.” Jace said, unable to walk away from the wardrobe to do anything else with how Porter was holding him. Despite his words, his voice was light, the annoyance clearly just for show. “Shouldn't you be packing too?” “I’m gonna miss you, little star,” Porter said softly. It was more sentimental than they usually were with each other, but even so, it didn't come close to capturing how he actually felt about his little elf. Not that any words ever would. Not that Porter put that much stock in words anyway. They both knew how easy it was to lie. Actions were better, actions were real.

Porter began to nuzzle at Jace's pointed ear, pressing chaste little kisses along the shell. He wasn't chasing the kisses with tongue, wasn't grazing Jace's skin with his teeth. He wasn't trying to arouse Jace just yet. He just wanted to live in this moment for a bit longer. “It's only going to be a couple of weeks. And you're going to be busy with Copperkettle’s lot the whole time. You'll barely even notice I'm not there.” Jace said breezily. It wasn't exactly what Porter had wanted to hear, and he let out an irritated huff. 

"Dunno. I might not. We're going to be travelling all round, who knows what kind of big, handsome strangers I might meet. We're only monogamous in Solace, right?" Jace said. Porter knew he was joking, he could hear it in his voice. The words still pissed him off. He'd been trying to say something real, and Jace was just brushing him off, acting so damn cavalier.

"Very funny, Stardiamond." Porter growled, letting go of Jace only to spin him round, to force the little elf to look at him. Jace's eyes were wide, all feigned innocence, as if he hadn't known exactly what he was doing, as if he hadn't been riling Porter up on purpose. "You know damn well you're mine."

He lifted his little elf up and tossed him bodily onto the bed, climbing on after him. As he was fucking Jace, he made sure to suck hickey after hickey onto his neck, marking him up, making it clear to anyone who looked at him that he was claimed. One day Porter wouldn't need to use anything as primitive as bruises, one day there would be something much more permanent on his little elf. But for now, this would have to do.

After they both finished, in the quiet that followed, Jace curled up next to Porter and rested his head on Porter's chest. He ran his fingertips over Porter's stomach, idly tracing little abstract shapes along his skin, and once again, Porter wished he had his own kind of chronomancy, just enough to stretch this moment out, let it last a little longer.

"I am going to miss you, little star." He repeated, needing Jace to know he'd been sincere the first time he said it. Jace looked up at him, an unreadable expression on his face.

“Listen, we've both got our crystals. And I've got Sending. We'll still be in touch. I'll keep you updated on everything that happens.” Jace said, leaning up to give Porter a soft, lingering kiss. “And... I’m going to miss you, too.”

[eliteseven]

idk what possessed me this week but i'm more hyperfixated with shart than normal... so.. do you have any more shadowheart headcannon? i adore your headcannon, they always make me more "jsjdjshdj god i love her (shadowheart) so much more... *sighs". it can be about consonance, NLS, the game! anything. thank you and take care :)

Aww, thank you, I would love to! 🥰 Sorry this took a bit! I shared a couple that make me smile from both!

NLS:

-Shadowheart notices how nervous Tav gets when they return to patriar events (either to be honored for something or bc Wyll invited them)- and she spends the evening distracting and comforting Tav in whatever ways she can. Holding her hand, sneaking her away to steal a kiss or two, dancing with her, pulling her into the corner to gossip in her ear…she can read when Tav is uneasy and just steps in as her lover and best friend 🥰

-Shadowheart becoming good with kids is so important to me. Not that she wouldn’t be- I think her Sharran past might’ve made her hesitant to show her true colors, at first. She’s inherently sweet and playful, it just takes a while to unlearn the guards she put up as a Sharran. But I HC that there’s a group of kids who play somewhat near the cottage in the spring and summer months. And they are absolutely SMITTEN with her 😭💕 bringing her flowers and toys, trinkets to win her attention. I mean, the pretty half elf lady with LOTS of cool animals??? Emmeline probably bakes just for them, and that wins Shadowheart even more popularity points. I just think she deserves to be adored by all 🥰 and this gets her thinking about having a child of her own with Serena!

-I think Shadowheart might enjoy art! I feel like she didn’t exactly have time for hobbies and self discovery was…not exactly encouraged in the cloister. But Serena notices she’s very meticulous, her dexterity is good…so she gifts her a set of paints and a canvas. And Shadowheart is probably awful, for a time. But imagine the fun they’d have? Paint wars (painting each other 👀), sharing their laughable attempts at painting the landscape outside the cottage. Setting up the canvas outside on a sunny day, wine in hand, Serena lounging a few feet away with Buttons and Scratch under the sunshine? It would be so calming for her. And I think she’d get pretty good, tbh.

Consonance:

-Tav is Shadowheart’s biggest fan 🥰 while I do mean that in the cutesy couple way, I also mean that she was genuinely a fan before meeting her. And now she gets to live with her. So, in everyday pedestrian moments, like when Jen sings to herself in the shower…Tav is trying SO hard to rein in those giddy schoolgirl emotions lmao. Shads just…toweling herself off and laughing softly when she sees that Tav is a PUDDLE in the doorway 🫠💕 the novelty never dies, for Tav. Shadowheart is amused and a little flattered. She loves singing for her girl ☺️

-Not to spoil this but Serena is gonna surprise Jen with an animal at some point in my outline for pt. 2. I’m thinking a kitten 🥹 it will be the love of Shadowheart’s life (alongside Buttons….and Serena😅). She’s going to be so excited and giddy like a little kid. It will be very cute.

-Emmeline knitting some ugly sweaters for Shadowheart and Tav over the holidays!! Tav loves hers and wears it unironically. Shadowheart is always touched by how much Tav loves Emmeline. She hates the sweaters but obliges. She thinks they ruin her cool girl unaffected rocker vibe, and she’s right. She looks adorable 😅

-Jen and Isobel’s friendship is my fave, as we know. Latest development in my daydreaming: Isobel helping Shads pick an engagement ring and helping her plan a surprise proposal 🥹 Isobel telling Shads how proud she is that she got herself out of Shar’s grasp… they planned to be in each other’s weddings as little girls.

-Shadowheart fiercely loathing Tav’s father and being incredibly protective of her. It’s a side of her we haven’t seen yet and I’m so excited. She learned, from her dealings with Shar. And she will protect Tav with her life, just like Tav would for her. I think it adds a really nice depth to her and I’m excited for you to see ferally protective shadowheart!!!

[karinamay]

OC smash or pass ! - Tav'ará

Thank you for the taaaaag @larvasmoon

Rules: include physical descriptions or pics, and propaganda. the "other" label can be used for "sexuality misalignment" (ie: oc is femme and you're gay, vice versa or you aren't into smashing but a specific thing you wanna do with them like perhaps hug or study them under a microscope idc).

Tav'ará Naldarai

I have not commissioned art for her (yet). She's not very tall, although she's in heels a lot so you might not notice. Her hair is kind of a strange strawberry blond colour that looks a little pinkish in direct sunlight. She has freckles and green eyes. The clothes she wears outside of work are simple; jeans, chunky knit sweaters and worn out jackets, faded graphics t-shirts. Most of it probably second hand.

Facts :

Height : 1.65 (5'4)

Age : 29

Race : Elf. Of some kind. Shh it's a secret.

Gender : Female (she/her)

Class : well. this particular modern AU has no classes so none. but if I were to drag her back to the original setting maybe sorcerer.

Sexuality : Bisexual

Pros :

Badass investigative journalist

Will make you really cool cocktails

Will find out and expose the dirty laundry of anyone who might have wronged you

Can walk in heels for like 12 hours straight

Might make flowers start to bloom in her vacinity? Maybe? Is very cute. Don't tell her though it makes her a bit nervous.

Cons :

Not in fact officially a badass journalist. Kind of a freelancer. Maybe partially illagally.

Stubborn as all hell

Can be a little reckless, whether that in a "act first, think later" or a "I've thought about it and I'm gonna do it anyway" kinda way

Her parents are terrible but you could try to avoid meeting them I suppose

Fidgets a lot when nervous

[theberrybrothel]

Berry Brothel Christmas

“Merry x-mas girls, It's showtime!” I wake up and my nose is immediately assaulted by the smells of cinnamon, gingerbread, eggnog, and of course rum. It's X-mas at the Brothel, so management has prepared a special list of acts for the patrons who have decided to brave the cold, and spend some of their money on us.

 I look in my assignment box and find my act for the night; the card is red, decorated with reindeer. It says: ‘All I want for X-mas is You’. I smile to myself, just the one I was hoping for. I get dressed for my little number. I'm wearing a sexy elf costume, tight green pants to show my ass and a low cut green crop top to show the tits. Its matched with a pair of high heels that curl at the toe ending in a bell, so every step I take jingles. I top the outfit off with a short green cap with bells around the crown so I jingle even more. Still jingling, I step out into the main hall to join my group for the evening.

 Tonight I'm joined by Brenda, sporting a sexy Santa outfit complete with gloves. Can't beat the classic, and Eartha who is going for a hipster christmas party vibe. She is wearing a knit beanie pulled low over her head, covering her brown hair and an ugly christmas sweater that is sporting a malibu barbie theme. The look is completed by the converses she has on her feet. We start walking to the green room, and talking about what we are gonna do after we finish this show, and are done for the night. 

“Going out drinking with Christy, Ann and Jen. They have to be back early though so I’m down to chill later” Brenda says. “They all are working the late shift upstairs covering for some of the staff that went home for the holidays' ' Brenda has worked at the brothel for a while, so she has the extreme stripper curves that so many of us get after a few months of inflation. Honestly, Management can mold us however they want but they don't want to change much from the tried and true.

Eartha is one of the few exceptions to this. Management keeps her flat as a board, in all places. For the odd duck that isn't into curves, or wants a very specific type of transformation. It's probably the reason that Management denied her request for time off. Some V.I.P with those specific tastes is going to be in town. “I think I’m going to put on Die Hard and sleep the rest of the night. I’m going to go visit the Fam for New Year since Janice can cover my clients.”

“Ugh you have the most predictable tastes in movies Earth” Brenda teases. “How about you Jordan?”

“I might head over to the Punk Rock Museum, see who is playing. It will be a nice change from the Christmas pop”. 

 We get to the fork that leads to the green room and the main stage.Brenda splits off to the stage. Looking through the window in the green room, Eartha and I see the stage has been made to look like a literal stage from a high school auditorium. Brenda’s client, a well dressed man sits in the single chair facing the stage. I recognize him from some of his other visits. He is a nice guy; respectful too. Bennet I think his name is.

Brenda walks out and strikes a pose. The light projectors fill in three dancers who will all be linked to Brenda’s movements. We call this a shadow dance. Brenda takes a shot of blueberry liqueur, we use that when gum will mess up the performance. As the music begins to play. Brenda starts lip syncing.   

Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock

Jingle bells swing and jingle bells ring

Snowin' and blowin' up bushels of fun

Now the jingle hop has begun

Brenda begins by stepping forward slowly and sensually, using her enlarged assets she adds an extra jiggle and shake to every one of her steps. The Shadow dances mirror her, so when She bends over to Bennet he had four sets of cleavage surrounding him.  He only gets a quick peek before . She twirls away the tell tale blue spot appearing on her nose and quickly flushes her face blue.

Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock

Jingle bells chime in jingle bell time

Dancin' and prancin' in jingle bell square

In the frosty air

The other three dancers all stay their natural color as they continue to mirror Brenda’s movements.

Brenda places her hands on her thighs, and sticks her rear out. Bending over to give him a better look at her now blue tits. They have started bloating up, smoothing the wrinkles of her outfit. A sharp eye can also see the slight belly bump that is pressing on the shiny Fabric of her costume. He smiles back at her and she stands up straight, slapping her thighs in the process. She has timed it so that the blue flush is passing right through her smack.

What a bright time, it's the right time

To rock the night away

Jingle bell time is a swell time

To go glidin' in a one-horse sleigh

Now that she is fully blue, she begins to make slow hip shaking twirls emphasizing the size of her hips as they get fuller and juicer with every twirl. Simultaneously a blue band can be seen separating her red top and red skirt.  She faces away from Bennet so that he can inspect her rear, bending over again so that it is fully on display for him. she gives it a bit of a shake before standing up again.

Giddy-up jingle horse, pick up your feet

Jingle around the clock

As she stands back up the man spanks her bare ass causing it to jiggle. She turns around with a playfully shocked look on her face, repeated by the other 3 girls that circle around his chair.  The four dancers line up placing their elbows on the girl in front of them’s ass they all playfully wag a finger at him. No touching until she is ripe. 

When she stands up you can see the blue band has grown, her belly button is now on full display. The middle of her extreme hourglass is filling in her thighs filled with juice widening her stance. They have also become hard to bend, causing her to have to swing her legs out to take a step forward.

Brenda tries to do the sexy stride that she did when she started the dance but now it looks silly and awkward. The four girls all line up in front of Bennet facing away from him placing a hand on the dancer next to their ass cheek. they shake and rotate their hips sensually. Brenda’s inflated hips hit into both dancers on either side of her, throwing off their rhythm.  The shadow dancers all turn and look at her. they mockingly look angry that her size is messing up their choreography; they all stop mirroring her and go sit on Bennet’s lap like groupies, teasing him with their perfect breasts and asses, while Brenda struggles to finish her routine.  Due to her rapidly increasing size when she turns around and struts rather waddles away. my, you can see that booty jiggle!  The fabric of her costume breaks away with a sharp snap leaving her naked in the middle of the room as she awkwardly still tries to dance.

Mix and a-mingle in the jinglin' feet

That's the jingle bell rock

Her breast are really out of control now, jiggling and bouncing with every tottering step she takes. her body has started the process of rounding out filling in her once luxurious curves higher and higher on her body until she is more or less round.

What a bright time, it's the right time

To rock the night away

 She takes a few more tottering steps before her body has totally outswelled her legs and forces her feet from the floor. Bennet smiles at her, past the groupies as he watches her flap her limbless hands and feet helplessly in an attempt to finish dancing to the song. The three shadow dancers leave Bennet and take positions on each side of the stage. With a nod the first gives Brenda a hard shove and rolls her to the other two dancers waiting to catch her. After sending her back across the stage one of the dancers brings Bennet up on stage and positions Brenda in front of him. Another dancer places a large prop bow on her so she looks like a helpless present. Brenda looks at him with her big puppy dog eyes “Master I think Im ripe”. she says the words breathlessly trying to contain the anticipation that is in her voice. He stands up, pushing the holograms away as they look on with jealousy, and free’s he very hard cock.  “Well then time for your present berry.”

Jingle bell time is a swell time

To go glidin' in a one-horse sleigh

  He rolls her so that her mouth is at the level of his dick. dutifully knowing what he wants, she opens her mouth  to takes his cock moaning through it and licking at it. I am told that bjs are extra good here because the guys can feel the juices flooding your mouth. plus all that swallowing is really good for getting guys off.

Giddy-up jingle horse, pick up your feet

Jingle around the clock

Mix and a-mingle in the jinglin' feet

  Bennet grabs ahold of Brenda’s hair as he begin to speed up his thrusting face fucking her with passion  

That's the jingle bell

 Brenda’s eyes go wide as she feels Bennet’s member stiffen in her mouth she knows whats coming and that she is powerless to stop it

That's the jingle bell

 He comes in her mouth, hard by the way his body is shaking.As he finishes the lights in the room go out so that the pair can be taken to a more private playroom. 

That's the jingle bell rock

Eartha ribs me as she heads out of the room “Guess it was a ‘swell time’ after all.” I roll her eyes at the pun

[its-an-art]

What if a lil old granny woke up one day and decided to start adventuring with her cranky pet pseudodragon named Fluffy?

My art

[tamakissimp]

headcanons- secret santa

summary: they are their crush’s secret santa

characters: Tamaki, Bakugou, Kirshima, Denki, Shigaraki, Tokoyami

warnings: cursing, fluff

a/n: haha not me who keeps on forgetting Dark Shadow is a girl and NOT a boy haha

𝕥𝕒𝕞𝕒𝕜𝕚

𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕕𝕤: 𝟠𝟟𝟜

Panic. Pure panic overriding all his nerves. That's all Tamaki can feel as he stares at the note. Your note. He's happy though, that's the weird part. He has prayed that he got you as his secret Santa but now that he does, he can only think of all the way he can fuck this up. What if he gets you the wrong gifts? What if he accidentally offends you? What if-

"Tama, are you alright?" you ask. A deep blush shoots up to Tamaki's ears at the nickname. He can't even bring himself to nod. Instead, he buries his face against the closest surface. Which happens to be your shoulder.

Tamaki doesn't notice that this 'wall' is much warmer and softer than other walls. He doesn't notice that he has his head planted into your shoulder until you start petting his hair. His ears stand up and all he can do is a whimper and push his head further into your shoulder.

"Don't you like who you got? We can switch?" you offer.

"No!" Tamaki yells out. You're taking aback by his volume. His voice was never above a whisper but now it bounces through the room. Others classmates look up at you. You just wave them off and continue playing with Tamaki's hair.

"It's alright," you say. "Then we don't switch.". Tamaki nods before pulling his head away from you. He scans over your face. Your fingers keep on waving through his hair, even now that he is standing up straight again.

A soft smile plays on your lips. Your eyes twinkle with a certain kind of happiness that only your favourite elf-eared boy can bring you. Tamami's heart feels like it is going to explode. The warmth spreading through him feels like it's going to burn him alive, though that is the only way he would like to go.

"How about we get some takoyaki, mh?" you say. Tamaki nods. He can't stop the little whine from falling his lips as you pull your hand away from his hair. Tamaki just hums in agreement.

You smile at him before grabbing a hold of his upper arm and leading him away from the bustling group of classmates. Tamaki relishes in the feeling of your finger presses softly against his skin. God, he has never been more glad of wearing short sleeves.

☆◦ 。＼｜／。◦☆

Mirio keeps on thanking your way to long. You knew he was kind, but this was too much. "Mirio," you say in between his endless words of graduation. "It's just a mug.".

"So?" Mirio beams. "It's the best mug ever!". You roll your eyes at him. You turn yourself away from him, hoping that it will shut him up. If you knew he would react like this, you would have bought him a different present.

"Now, Mirio, you can choose the next gift!" someones says. You honestly have no clue who said it. Your mind is too caught up in Mirio's words. Mirio gladly grabs a lilac coloured bag from the heap of presents.

He smirks as he looks over at his elf-eared friend. All Tamaki can do is aggressively shake his head. Mirio just nods and hands the gift bag over to you. You follow his gaze to Tamaki. Mirio sticks his thumb up at his friends, causing Tamaki's cheeks to burn red.

You swat Mirio against his chest as you start to unpack your gift. Out of the bag comes hoodie. It's one that you're all too familiar with. You always steal it from Tamaki since it's so comfortable.

Tamami stares at you, eager to see your reaction. Everything in his mind tells him that you're going to hate it. You're going to spit on his gift and throw it at him. Instead, you smile as you pull the hoodie flush against your chest.

"I-I bought an-another....so we m-match," Tamaki says softly. You want to jump in his lap and cuddle him to death. But you know that the embarrassment of doing that in front of the entire class would be too much for Tamaki.

So, instead, just smile at him.  As you unfold the hoodie more, two pieces of paper fall out of it. You grab them. "Good for one free takoyaki". The neat letters could only belong to one person.

"I-It'll be my treat," Tamaki says. You neatly fold the hoodie back up and place them into the gift bag again.

"You bet your ass that you're going out for takoyaki tonight," you say with a wink. Tamaki quickly looks down at the ground as a blush creeps up onto his ears. He brushes his hair down to hide his elf-like ears.

Once you've finished putting the hoodie back, you look around you. Mirio nudges you in your side. You nod at him as you grab a gift bag from the heap in the middle of all of you. You hand the bag over to Tamaki. He smiles softly at you as he notices one thing, the bag if your favourite colour.

He looks up at you. All he can take from the glint in your eyes is that you're damn well aware of the content of the bag. "Open my gift, Tama," you whisper.

𝕓𝕒𝕜𝕦𝕘𝕠𝕦

𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕕𝕤: 𝟟𝟟𝟡

Bakugou couldn't stop the curses flowing from his mouth as he saw the name written on his name. Izuku, it said in choppy letters. Like hell, he was going to have fucking Deku as his secret Santa. All eyes shoot towards him. He freezes as he catches your kind eyes boring holes into his. 

"Fucking hate this shit," he grumbles out before storming off to his room. You all just look at each other with confused eyes. You have a suspicion about who he got. There was only one person in the room who could pull such anger out of him. 

You lay a hand on Izuku's back. All he's doing is staring at the ground with puppy dog eyes. It was his idea to unite his and Bakugou's friend groups for secret Santa."Hey, don't look so sad," you say. Izuku looks up at you. 

"I'm sure he'll cool off.". Izuku nods at your words before reaching towards the big glass bowl which Shoto is holding. He pulls a note out of it and opens it in a way to keep the name written on is secret from you. A smile pulls over his lips as he reads the name.

"I'm just...gonna go after him," Kirishima says before running off after his friend. No one has time to acknowledge his leave since the faux redhead sprints off.

Bakugou doesn't turn around. Not even when he hears his friend call his name time after time. He just throws some insults at him. Bakugou rips his dorm's door open with such force that it surprises him that he doesn't just rip the damn thing right off the wall. 

"Bakugou, wait," Kirishima calls. Bakugou tries to slam the door shut behind him but it's stopped by Kirishima's foot. Splinters spring of the door due to the force at which it's being slammed into Kirishima's unbreakable foot. "Go. Away," Bakugou sneers.

"I got Y/n," Kirishima says. Suddenly, Bakugou rips the door open. He holds the note he pulled - which is now crumpled up - in front of Kirishima. "Switch," he demands. Kirishima happily nods as he grabs the note from Bakugou's hands. Bakugou rips your note out of his friend's hands. 

Just the sight alone of your name, written in your handwriting for god sake, calm him down.Bakugou looks up from the note and up at his friend. Kirishima is just smiling at him like an idiot. 

"Thanks," Bakugou mumbles before slamming the door shut, this time without his friend's foot keeping it open. Kirishima stands in front of Balugou's door for a moment. Did Bakugou just say thanks?

☆◦ 。＼｜／。◦☆

Mina's giggles sound through the room as she rips the wrapping paper off of her gifts. From behind the Christmas themed paper, a pair of fluffy socks appear. She squeals as she pulls the socks closer to her, rubbing her cheek along the soft fabric.

While everyone is gushing about how cute the polka dot socks are Denki is sitting back with a stupid smirk on his face. It's no surprise that he got Mina some amazing gifts. While he might not be gifted in some areas, he was a master in buying gifts.

"Y/n is next!" Mina says as she crumbles up the wrapping paper. Once it's balled up, she throws it and aims for Kirishima's head. He easily swats the balled up paper away while it's still in the air. He chuckles before turning towards you.

You smile as you grab the bag with your name on it. Black decorative paper sticks out of the top of the bag. You pull it out to reveal an array of gifts inside. You gasp as you grab the first present. It's a messily knit sweater, probably a tad bit too big for you, not that your mind. Orange and black stripes alternate each other. You run your fingers over the soft wool. It feels like your touches a cloud. 

"Holy hell," you gasp out. You quickly pull the sweater over your head. The sleeves past your reach, almost touching your fingertips. While the stitches are a bit wonky, you don't seme to mind. You look around the group of friends. Most are admiring the intricate craftwork. Except for Bakugou. While he still holds his usual scoff on his lips there is still a blush dusting his cheeks. It's him.

His eyes glance over you. Seeing you in his colours made his heart do summersaults. A comforting warmth fills his chest up. "Thank you," you mouth to him. A smile tugs on his lips. You turn back to the giftbag in front of you and start to ravage through the other gifts he got you. Maybe this whole secret Santa thing wasn't so bad after all.

𝕜𝕚𝕣𝕚𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕞𝕒

𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕕𝕤: 𝟞𝟜𝟙

To say that Kirishima was excited was an understatement. When he heard that you were joining the so-called 'Bakusquad' for secret Santa, he almost jumped through the roof. Even now, when you two were talking about how funny it would be if Denki pulled Bakugou's name, he was jumping around.

Bouncing from one foot the other. He talks animatedly with his hands to let some energy go. He has almost smacked couple times already doing this.

"Y/n," Sero says. You look up at him. He's holding the glass bowl full of notes towards you. You reach in a grab one. You carefully fold it open. Kirishima, it says in curly letters. You smile as you look at your redhaired friends.

"And?" he asks before grabbing a note himself. You just shake your head.

"No," you say with a teasing smile. "It's called secret Santa for a reason.". Kirishima rolls his eyes at you before opening up his note. He has never been happier to see your name written on a piece of paper than now.

"Fine," he says. He stuffs the piece of paper in his pocket. "Than I won't tell you either.". Kirishima sticks his tongue out at you.

You swat his chest playfully before twirling on the ball of your foot. "Where are you going, pebble?" he asks. The nickname sends a wave of warmth running through your stomach.

"I'm gonna buy some presents, obliviously," you say before waving him your goodbyes. Kirishima stays still for a moment. He can hear Bakugou grumbling about the person he got in the background, but he pays his friend no mind. Instead, he's thinking about what would be the perfect present for you.

☆◦ 。＼｜／。◦☆

You honestly had no say in when you were going to open your gifts. Once Bakugou spotted the shark-themed gift bag, he knew that would be the first to be opened. Though he wouldn't admit it, Bakugou had a soft spot for Kirishima. He only smirked when he found out that the gift bag was meant for you. He knew of Kirishima's crush on you, everyone knew except you.

"Oh god," you say as you grab the bag from Bakugou's hands. All eyes are focussed on you, including Kirishima's. You pull the first gift out of the bag. It's a bag of candy. You quickly recognize the sugary snacks. You had pointed them out to Kirishima a couple of months ago. Apparently, he hadn't forgotten about them.

"These are so good!" you squeal out. Kirishima chuckles at your reacting. You look over at him. His vermillion eyes meet yours. Warmth floods through him as you maintain eye contact. You only break it to continue unpacking the various gifts he got you.

Socks, new headphones, a phone case, more snacks, and a copy of your favourite movie.  Kirishima just bought all of your favourite things. All of them in a familiar shade of red. You beam up at him once you have all the items laid out beside you on the floor.

"Kiri, you shouldn't have," you say before crawling across the floor towards him. A bright blush dusts his cheeks that would put his hair to shame. Sit down on your knees in front of him and wrap your arms around his shoulder.

He manages to stammer out a 'you're welcome' as he wraps his arms around you, returning the hug. You pull away too soon for his liking but he can't keep his disappointment for long. Not when he sees you look over towards your gift with that goofy smile that he adores.

"Stop staring at 'em, dumbass," Bakugou gruffs as he grabs the gift bag with his name written on it. You quickly move back towards your original place, admiring all your gifts. You would have to repay Kirishima somehow. Maybe a date would do?

𝕕𝕖𝕟𝕜𝕚

𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕕𝕤: 𝟝𝟟𝟜

The universe hates Denki, or so it feels to him. Having a quirk that stupifies him, never having anyone be interested in him, constantly feeling like a burden. The universe just keeps on hurdling horrible things at him and hoping that it works out. Though, now he knows why. He had to build up some karma to be able to get to be your secret Santa.

He jumps around his room. His eyes dart over to the screen of his laptop every now and then. In the email he received were the words he hoped to see; your name. The bright letters illuminating his face have never felt so good.

Little lightning bolts shoot out of fingers at random, just nearly missing his furniture. He already stopped caring about the various burn marks tainting his walls, so he lets his quirk go wild.

"Yes, yes, yes!" he screams out. "Thank you!". He dances around his room until his door is violently ripped open. He freezes in an undoubtedly embarrassing pose. A fuming Bakugou stands in his door-opening.

"Shut. The. Fuck. Up!" He screams. "Not everyone needs to hear your whiny ass voice, dunce face!". With that, Bakugou slams the door shut behind him again.

Denki just lets out an uncontrollable giggle before letting himself fall down onto his bed. He is too blissed out to worry about what gifts to get you. Instead, his mind wanders to the different reaction you could have. Would you be happy? Would you happy that your secret Santa was him?

☆◦ 。＼｜／。◦☆

"Open it, open it, open it!" Kirishima demands. All you do is laugh as you slap his arm softly.

You had all agreed to hide the gifts around the school, instead of having a big get together to unpack everything. Due to this, you didn't think it was weird for Denki to have been following you around all day like a lost puppy. Kirishima joined him at some point since he wanted to know what we up with him.

Your fingers gently rip the bright yellow paper off of your gift. Inside of the paper is a little black bag. You roll your eyes as you open the bag up as well.

Inside, as a whole array of things. A couple of black chokers that look way too familiar, some face masks, a new pair of earbuds, a couple of snacks and two movie tickets.

You put two and two together once you glance up and see Denki. A smirk is plastered onto his lips as he patiently awaits your reaction. "Is this your way of asking me out for the movies?" you ask.

Shit. Shit fuck shit fuck. Did you not like it? Denki's blood runs gold. That is until you let out a laugh. God, he can listen to your laugh on loop for years.

"What if it is?" Denki asks. You grab the movie tickets out of the bag and hand him one of them.

"Then consider it a date," you say before placing a soft kiss onto his cheek. Denki is a hundred percent sure that he's dreaming. His fingers reach up to touch the place you just kissed. His cheeks heat up.

You giggle before walking away from him, towards your next class. The only thing that keeps Denki from fainting is Kirishima, who's jumping up and down at what just happened. The universe had really started to pay him back.

𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕘𝕒𝕣𝕒𝕜𝕚

𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕕𝕤: 𝟞𝟙𝟜

Fucking Toga. She knows that Tomura can't say no to her especially when she looks at him with puppy dog eyes. Still, he's wondering how she got Tomura of all people to participate in this secret Santa bullshit.

He doesn't pay the rest of the members much mind as they pick a note out of Compress' hat. He is just tapping away at his phone screen while playing some mindless shooter game.

"Boss.". He quickly turns his head. There you are. A stupid smile is plastered on your lips and you're holding Compress' hat out towards him. "You grab one.".

Tomura nods as he reaches into the hat, carefully not to use all his fingers to grab the note. Please don't be fucking Dabi. Please don't be fucking. Please don't-

Relief washes through Tomura as he sees your name written on the note. He looks back up at you. You're still smiling at him. He wants to deny the butterfly swarming around in his stomach but he can't.

"Happy?" you ask. Tomura quickly nods. You break down his whole 'I'm-the-toughest-guy-here' facade. You make the cold looks he give everyone melt. Instead of wanting to scratch his skin open, he now wants his fingers to softly roam your skin. To feel what reciprocated love feels like.

"Very happy," he says. Your smile grows a bit before you turn on the ball of your heels. Tomura's gaze follows you as you walk over to Compress to make him pick a note. "Very.".

☆◦ 。＼｜／。◦☆

Seeing the feared 'League of Villians' like this is honestly a pathetic sight. Toga and Twice are giggling like children. Most are drunk of their ass. The gifts being exchanged consist of either stollen stuff or homemade crafts. Though that doesn't make them any less heartfelt.

"Y/n, you're next up," Dabi says before taking another drag of his cigarette. The white smoke swirls around the air. It seeps out of his staples but he doesn't seem to mind. You nod as you reach over, grabbing a box with your name written on it.

It's just a cardboard box, nothing fancy. Though the choppy letters written on it feel familiar. Could it be- No, don't be stupid. You open the box up. A gasp leaves your lips as you look at the contents.

Maybe it's the alcohol rushing through your veins but you have never been so emotional over a gift. You grab the gift inside. A baby blue blanket lays in your hands. It's a weird, patchworked, blanket though that doesn't make it any less beautiful to you.

"Shiggy.". You can't stop the nickname as it falls off your lips. Shigarki's cheeks heat up. Normally, he has Father to cover his cheeks up. Now he resorts to tilting his head down and letting his hair do the work.

You run your fingers over the stitches piecing together the different kinds of fabric. Without thinking, you wrap the blanket around your shoulders. "This is amazing," you say.

Heatwaves through Tomura's stomach. It makes his heart do flips inside his chest. A smile spreads over his lips.

"I love it, thank you so much," you say. Tomura simply nods at you, leaning towards you a bit.

"You're welcome," he says. Most people in the room are shocked at his sudden kindness though they don't bring it up. The fear of being dusted on the spot is greater than their curiosity.

He can't keep his gaze of you as he sees you cuddle up in his blanket. Something about seeing you in something that so clearly screams Tomura Shigaraki makes him feel appreciated, loved even.

Maybe this whole secret Santa thing isn't bullshit after all.

𝕥𝕠𝕜𝕠𝕪𝕒𝕞𝕚

𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕕𝕤: 𝟜𝟠𝟛

"C-Come on guys! Pick an n-note!" Izuku says. Shoto and Momo reach over to grab a note out of the pile laying on the table. It's a miracle that Izuku got everyone in class 1-A to participate in secret Santa. Even Bakugou agreed. The same Bakugou who hates Izuku's guts.

"I hope I get you," you say as you nudge Tokoyami's side. His cheeks heat up underneath his feather. He lets out a soft chuckle to cover up his nervousness.

He reaches for the pile after you. He awaits your reaction before opening his note. A smile spreads over your lips as you read the name written on your note. You look up to meet his eyes.

"Come on, open it," you urge on. Tokoyami nods. He folds the note open to reveal your name. He looks back up at you. You just stand there with the smile still present on your lips.

Heat swells up in Tokoyami's heart. For a second, he loses his control on his quirk and Dark shadow jumps out of his body. The shadow lurks over his shoulder and stares at the paper in Tokoyami's hands.

"Wow,' you say. Dark shadow looks down at you. She leans her head down towards you. You eagerly start petting her cold head. It feels weird, touching a being made out of shadow.

Tokoyami just stares at you while you interact with Dark shadow. It always surprises him how gentle you are with her. If he could smile, he would. All he does is wonder about how he can give you the perfect gift.

☆◦ 。＼｜／。◦☆

You pull pitch black wrapping paper of the box with eager fingers. You tap your feet on the ground as you lift the lid of the box. A smile tugs on your lips as you look at the content.

Everything is dark themed, almost gothic. You quickly look up at Tokoyami. All he does is intensely stare at you. You let your fingers rake over the items inside.

A keychain, some snacks, a pair of socks, a scarf.  Everything you could ever need. "Toko," you say. The nickname sends a flush of heat rushing through Tokoyami's veins. "This is perfect.".

"Isn't it just all stuff he likes?" Denki asks, earning a smack against his head from Bakugou. You smile at the two before leaning over to Tokoyami. You gently place a kiss onto his beak.

Tokoyami's body tenses at the action, though not in a bad way. he wants to pull you closer to him and beg for more kisses but he keeps his self-control.

"Really, this is amazing," you say. Tokoyami nod at you.

"I'm glad you like it," he says in a cool tone. It surprises him that he is able to keep his cool so easily. Especially since you just gave him a fucking kiss. He should definitely buy you gifts more often.

[pines-troz]

Those We Hold Dear - Animaniacs/Pinky and The Brain Oneshot

Summary: An introverted Brain finds himself feeling lost during the holiday party on the Warner Movie Lot. He manages to find some respite upon finding a pool table in the abandoned rec room. When Yakko unexpectedly invites himself in, the two engage in some casual conversation, then slowly open themselves up as they talk about their loved ones. 

This story includes mild doses of Brinky and Non-Binary Wakko with he/they pronouns. 

Word Count: 7,969

TW: Brief mentions of trauma, animal testing, and alcohol

Includes spoilers from the Animaniacs Reboot and references to the Pinky and The Brain spin-off cartoon. 

Special thanks to @themurphyzone for beta reading!

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27714374

Beginning AN: This fic was written because there aren’t enough stories where Pinky and The Brain interact with the Warners, and I feel like there’s so much untapped potential in terms of interesting character dynamics and I wanted to explore that with this story. I hope you enjoy this self-indulgent and very heartwarming fanfic. 

As Christmas time drew near, The Warner Brothers movie lot was bustling with the spirit of the holiday season. Studios were dressed in Christmas decorations, and classic Christmas songs played over the speakers. And in the heart of the studio, the WB office was holding a special holiday party for the cast and crew of the Animaniacs reboot. Pinky and the Brain were among the invited guests, and the two mice strolled through the movie lot together as they made their way to the party. 

Brain shook his head, still in disbelief that he and Pinky worked as part-time actors, and even more so that they were asked to return for the Animaniacs reboot after the original show had been off the air for over twenty years. 

The small mouse remembered back in the early 1990s, when one of his initial plans for world domination involved him and Pinky breaking into the Warner Bros. studio to broadcast his homemade propaganda film. But while they infiltrated the studio, they were spotted by a small group of writers. When Brain explained in earnest that he and Pinky were ‘genetically altered lab mice trying to take over the world’, the writers were so amused and inspired that they brought the lab mice over to meet the studio executives and were hired right on the spot.

While having to act out failed plans to take over the world felt like a slap to the face at times, Brain quickly found the positive aspects of working on a popular television show. He and Pinky worked on set a few days a week (which saved them from having to undergo more painful experiments from the scientists at Acme Labs), they got along well with the other cast, crew, and various workers on the Warner movie lot. The mice also received truck loads of fan mail and fan art from viewers (and they put in the effort to express their gratitude by writing back to as many letters as they could), attended conventions even long after the show went off the air, and were invited to cast parties. 

As much as Brain enjoyed seeing Pinky having a ball at the cast parties, he himself admittedly detested large social gatherings. If world domination was at stake, then Brain would be more motivated to be sociable; rubbing elbows with politicians, manipulating powerful individuals to do his bidding, and being one step closer to planetary conquest. 

But Brain had no schemes up his sleeve. No ulterior motives, hidden agendas, or feasible plans for world conquest tonight. The mouse had put off all plans to take over the world off the table during the holiday season after having read Pinky’s unsent letter to Santa that fateful Christmas. From that moment on, Brain vowed to ignore his own lofty ambitions during the holidays and to put more focus on making Pinky happy.  

The mice made sure to dress appropriately for the holiday party. Brain donned a red sweater and dark green pants. Simple festive colors, but nothing overly garish. Pinky, however, went above and beyond in his party attire, as he wore a green dress with candy cane prints all over and sparkly red shoes. Once they walked past the office doors, they approached the elevator. Brain retrieved his limb-enhancing device and pressed the button, which opened up the doors, and the two mice entered the elevator. Brain used the device again to hit the button for floor nine, and the elevator moved upwards. 

“Oh this is going to be so much fun, Brain!” Pinky chirped, flapping his hands with excitement. 

“Well if you’re happy, then I’m happy.” Brain affirmed, keeping a calm and orderly demeanor. 

Once they reached the right floor, they exited the elevator and approached the large event space where the party was held. As they approached the doorway, they were immediately greeted by Yakko, who wore a red and white striped blazer in addition to his usual brown slacks. 

“Hey, Pinky and the Brain!” Yakko greeted as he waved at them. “How are the fan favorites doing?” 

“We’re doing well for ourselves, Yakko-” Brain’s response was interrupted when he felt a giant wet smooch on his left cheek. He looked over his left to see Pinky smiling at him. The smaller mouse looked at his roommate with a shocked and irritated expression. 

“Pinky!” Brain berated his companion, as his cheeks began to flare up. “I told you, no frivolous displays of affection outside of the lab!” 

“Poit! I’m sorry Brain, but, you were standing right under the mistletoe, and I just couldn’t help myself!” Pinky explained with a joyous giggle as Brain wiped off the saliva from the side of his face. The intelligent mouse looked up above only to find that dreaded yuletide plant taped to the doorframe. 

“Hey sibs! The power couple just arrived!” Yakko addressed his younger siblings. Brain fumed at the eldest Warner boy, who shrugged and flashed a playful smile back at the mouse. 

Dot arrived on cue, followed by Wakko, who greedily shoveled all the contents of the plate of appetizers (and the plate) into their mouth. The younger Warners dressed appropriately for the festive occasion. Wakko wearing an oversized blue sweater with a sequin snowman, and their iconic backwards red cap had elf ears taped to each side. In addition to her pink skirt, Dot wore a white sweater with a colorful Christmas tree and a reindeer antler headband. 

“Pinky!” Dot greeted happily, skipping merrily towards the taller mouse. “Oh you look so adorable!”  

Pinky jumped for joy as the Warner sister picked him up. “Oh, why thank you Dot. Zort! I actually had a little help from Brain. He used his knit-o-matic machine to put the dress together!” 

Dot turned her attention over to Brain, who was still standing beneath her. “Hello Brain! Don’t go thinking that I forgot about you.” She said, giving a couple pats to his large head. 

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” Brain bantered, but lost his guard when the middle Warner sibling scooped him into their hands. 

“Oh what joy, Brain is here!” Wakko cheered, lifting Brain up in the air as he twirled around. “I was thinking about going around the movie lot and belching my favorite Christmas carols later tonight. Would you care to join me?” 

“A tempting offer, but I’m afraid I have to decline.” Brain gently rejected. 

“Okay, but the offer still stands if you change your mind!” Wakko insisted. 

“Very well. Now would you be so kind as to put me down? I’m going to head on over to the refreshments table.” The mouse said. 

“Say, I was going to grab some snacks too! And maybe we can eat over at the table together!” Wakko proclaimed, carrying the mouse as he made their way to the refreshments table. 

“Well, I would be delighted to keep you company.” Brain answered honestly. 

The mouse tried to keep his favoritism hidden, but of all the cast members he worked with, he enjoyed being with the Warners the most. While they may be a nuisance to the humans on the movie lot, they were quite friendly with most of the animal actors on the set. Brain was quite enamored with Yakko’s comedic banter, Wakko’s silliness, and Dot’s wit and charm, and while they playfully teased him on occasions, it was never out of any malice. But the one aspect he enjoyed the most was that they were never judgemental of him or Pinky. 

Brain picked up the smallest plate from the stack and started picking out one of each cheese, a deviled egg, the second-to-last pig in a blanket, two baby carrots, and a jumbo shrimp. Wakko swooped in from behind, taking the last the last pig in a blanket and gobbled it up. 

Brain looked over at the line of wine glasses and the various wine bottles behind them and figured that he could go for a nice glass of red wine. Despite his short stature, Brain found an easier way to access the alcohol as he spotted Ralph the security guard (who may or may not be off-duty), grabbing a handful of jumbo shrimp. 

“Pardon me, Ralph.” Brain addressed the dim-witted security guard. 

Ralph turned his head and looked around for a few moments before spotting Brain. “Duh, oh hi Blaine.”

“Actually, it’s Brain.” The small mouse corrected. “Could you do me a small favor and pour me a glass of the pinot noir.” 

The security guard looked over at the wine bottles, scratching his head in bewilderment.  

“It’s the reddish bottle with the picture of purple grapes on it” Brain curtly explained in layman’s terms

“Oh, uh right!” The imbecilic security guard affirmed. He grabbed the specific bottle and poured a little too much wine into the glass, filling it almost to the top. The mouse did not care that he had an excessive amount of wine. Lord knows that he needs enough alcohol in his system to get through this social gathering. 

“Thank you, my good man.” Brain said politely. 

“But wait a minute, how are you gonna drink from the glass?” The security guard asked. 

“Already accounted for.” Brain reached into his pocket and pulled out a green swirly straw custom made for himself. 

Wakko walked over to Brain, carrying two full trays of appetizers. The middle Warner sibling marveled at the swirly straw. “You have great tastes in straws.” He carefully picked up Brain and placed him on top of their red hat. Wakko managed to carry his own plates, Brain’s plate and the wine glass with relative ease as he waltzed over to the table. 

“Thank you, Wakko.” Brain said gratefully. 

“Your welcome! Oh, I was wondering if you wanted to hear about how I found myself in Paris?” The middle child asked. “I want to tell someone else besides my siblings about all the fun adventures I had.” 

“Yes, I would love to hear some amusing anecdotes from your vacation.” Brain replied. The intelligent mouse was well aware that Wakko can be very passionate and talkative when it came to their interests, so he decided to validate the middle child with attentive ears. 

Brain listened intently as Wakko continued to talk about their trip. The intelligent mouse felt relieved that he wasn’t the one who had to initiate the conversation. He could simply provide Wakko his undivided attention and listen to them reminisce over their trip to Paris. This was splendid!

“I visited the Eiffel Tower, The Louvre, and Notre Dame, but only from the outside.” Wakko said wistfully. 

“The fire of Notre Dame was awfully devastating.” Brain added. “Forgive me if this comes off as a boast, but when Pinky and I visited Paris years ago we were fortunate enough to go inside the cathedral and climb the tower.” 

“Really!” Wakko exclaimed, who was rather excited by Brain’s vacation story. “Oh, do you have any pictures?”

“Well of course! Just let me just find the vacation album on my phone.” Brain said, as he tried to retrieve his smartphone from his pocket. 

“Oh, I forgot to mention how wonderful the crepes were!” Wakko added. “I had strawberry crepes, banana and nutella crepes, some egg and cheese crepes,”

But Wakko’s infodumping came to a crashing halt when Yakko stormed over to the table. “Wakko, did you take the last pig in a blanket?” The Warner brother interrogated. 

The middle Warner sibling glanced guiltily towards Brain then back at their sibling. “Maybe?” The eldest Warner still held his suspicious glare at him, until Wakko finally gave in. “Yeah…” 

“I knew it!” Yakko declared as he proceeded to put his sibling in a headlock, dragging them away from the table and into the center of the room. Wakko broke free and a battle between the older Warner siblings broke out. 

“Oh, this oughta be rich!” Dot devilishly commented. She quickly grabbed her smartphone from her pocket and filmed the action. 

Pinky was thrilled by the sudden action and further enabled the sibling rivalry. “Go, go! Give ‘em the ol’ one-two!” The mouse laughed maniacally as he punched the air. “Narf!”

Brain ruefully shook his head at the sibling shenanigans that took place. The small mouse knew better than to get involved, lest he wanted to be squished like a pancake or smacked so hard that he would crash onto the drywall. He found himself all alone again. He finished up his plate of appetizers when he noticed the new CEO, Rita Nortia, taking her place on the other side of the table. 

The mouse suddenly felt compelled to speak with her. After all, she did play a significant part in hiring him and Pinky back for the reboot when they could have been cast off like the majority of his fellow cast members from the original show. 

“Alright Brain, this is going to be a long party and you have to at least try to be sociable.” He told himself. The mouse then took a considerably long sip of wine to work the courage to speak to his new boss. 

“Hello, Ms. Nortia.” Brain addressed, trying his best to sound friendly. 

The CEO looked over at the mouse with an indifferent expression. “Wait a minute, I know you, you’re one of the mice playing second fiddle to those pesky Warners….Bran, is it?”

“Actually, it’s The Brain,” The mouse corrected, but suddenly changed his tone as he did not want to come off as bossy in front of his boss. “but I’m perfectly content with being addressed as Brain, if that’s most convenient for you. A-and I wanted to thank you again for including Pinky and myself in the reboot.” 

“Sure, sure. You two were one of the more memorable parts of the original show.” Rita Norita replied, sounding rather unenthused. After a moment of awkward silence between the two, the CEO spoke up again. “Was there anything else you wanted to say?” 

Brain was sweating nervously, feeling like a total waste of space. He could tell that she was a busy woman who was more occupied with work-related interests. The mouse tried his hardest to come up with an interesting topic of discussion. The weather? No, too cliche. The hottest Netflix shows? No way. He couldn’t bring up the competition in front of his boss. Those ridiculous Tik Tok videos that Pinky wouldn’t stop blabbering about? If he didn’t understand the appeal of those, what were the chances that the CEO would. The only other thing he could possibly bring up was-

“So, how about those sports?” Brain asked with a nervous smile. 

Rita Norita stared blankly at the mouse. “What about them.” 

Brain was caught tongue-tied. He didn’t know enough about the current state of any American sports team, so he decided to take a leap of faith and try to discuss the one sport he loved. 

“Well, uh, would you be interested in hearing about the beauty and intricacies of rhythmic gymnastics?” Brain asked with a sheepish smile. 

As the CEO was about to give another dry response, she was interrupted when a group of sharply dressed business people walked over to her. 

“Ms. Norita, we have some very important business information to discuss with you.” One of them said. 

“Finally, a riveting topic of discussion.” She exulted, immediately getting up from her seat. She shot a quick glance at the mouse. “You’ll have to excuse me, but I have more pressing matters to tend to.” 

The CEO left the table with the other white-collar workers, leaving Brain to his own devices. The mouse propped his head up as he stared into his empty plate of appetizers, desperately trying to forget the mortifying conversation. If dying from embarrassment was possible, then Brain would already be in Heaven surrounded by an angelic choir of Pinkys. 

“Hey Brain!” 

Upon hearing the cockney accent he was so familiar with, he looked over his shoulder only to find Pinky taking off his dress and diving straight into the punch bowl. Through the clear glass, Pinky was happily swimming underneath the punch for a few moments. Once he broke through the surface, the tall mouse was giggling contentedly and he propped himself up on the side of the bowl to talk to his roommate. 

“Oh Brain, you should try this!” The buck-toothed mouse called out. “The water is so refreshing!” 

“No thank you, Pinky.” Brain replied, shielding his face from his roommate. He took another peek at the taller mouse. Pinky looked like a complete buffoon, but he looked like he was having the time of his life, swimming in the punch bowl without a care in the world. Brain, on the other hand, felt completely lost and isolated despite being surrounded by a sea of party-goers. 

Brain walked away, trying his best to participate in small talk. Things seemed to look up when the Mime arrived. 

“I suppose making small talk with someone who can’t talk back is better than not making small talk at all.” Brain pondered. 

“You there, Mime!” Brain approached the silent performer. The Mime looked back at Brain and smiled back, giving him a friendly wave. The mouse’s self-esteem was starting to rebound. 

“Say, do you want to hear a science joke?” Brain asked. The Mime gave an eager nod in response. 

“Okay, well here it goes: One tectonic plate was walking along, bumps into another tectonic plate and said ‘Oops, sorry, my fault!’” Brain began to laugh heartily at his own joke, closing his eyes as he chuckled. 

Once his laughter wore off, Brain looked over at the Mime simply shook his head while wearing a confused frown, shaking his head. The mouse assumed that the Mime did not get the joke. 

The Brain felt defeated and gave a beleaguered sigh. “Well, I apologize for wasting your time.” The small mouse placed his hands into his pockets and walked off. 

The intelligent mouse felt lost. With no plan for world domination to focus on, there was no important reason to mingle with the other guests. He decided to find the Warners and seek companionship from them. But he was disappointed when he witnessed the three keeping Ralph occupied in an intense game of ‘Monkey in the Middle’. The Warners wore mischievous smiles as they threw the security guard’s cap around much to the frustration of the bumbling officer. Brain could not bring himself to join in their merriment. Without his robotic man-suit, he could not possibly bring any meaningful contribution to the fun and would only stick out as a useless fifth wheel. 

And he did not have the courage to try to strike up a friendly conversation with the other party-goers. His brief talks with Rita Norita and The Mime were proof that even when he shared his interests and musings to them, they could never reciprocate because they’re not on the same intellectual wavelength as he was. 

No, he was only fooling himself. Perhaps the reason why felt high and dry was that he just could not relate to other people. 

Brain watched Pinky, now back in his Christmas-themed dress, entertaining a few guests with his spit bubbles. The small group laughed at his ridiculous display. The taller mouse was completely in his element, charming people with his ‘fun-fun silly-willy’ antics. That feeble-minded fool made it look so easy. 

“Perhaps Pinky is better off with other people.” 

Brain furiously shook his head at the awful thought. “No, no, no. You’re just exhausted from attempting to socialize, that’s all.” He told himself. “Yes. All I need is a break, a place where I could temporarily wind down and recharge my energy before returning to the festivities.” 

Brain walked down the hall in search for a place to ponder. 

As he wandered down the hallway, he discovered an empty recreation room complete with a billiards table, a dart board, a stack of used board games, and a leather sofa. The pool table was pristine, with the fifteen balls gathered in their triangular shape and the cue ball standing on the other side. Brain decided to take the opportunity to play a game of pool against himself. The mouse picked up an unsharpened pencil from the bureau, climbed up the leg of the pool table and made his way to the top. 

The mouse hopped off the wooden edge and onto the green walked baize, the tender felt brushing up against his feet with each step. Once he approached the cue ball, the mouse used the unsharpened end of the pencil and struck the white ball as hard as he could. He was not surprised that the cue ball lightly struck the top third of the fifteen balls ever so slightly.

“This is going to take a while…” Brain muttered to himself. “Fortunately, I don’t have anything better to do.” 

The mouse observed the playing field, and noticed a solid red ball lingering near a corner pocket. Charging his pencil against the cue ball much harder this time, he saw the white ball glide down the table, hitting the red ball right into the pocket. Now all he had to do was strike the other solid-color balls into the pockets. 

Fifteen minutes had passed since he started his solitary game of pool, and he only had three balls left. Wiping off the beads of sweat from his forehead, he looked over at the clock that was perched above the sofa. The mouse doubted that the other party-goers would be aware of his absence. Maybe Pinky would be too busy mingling with the other guests to even realize that he was gone. 

“Some party, huh?” 

Brain was startled at the sudden inquiry, his ears perking upwards. He turned around only to find Yakko Warner leaning against the doorway.

“Yakko….” The mouse grumbled. He feared that the boy would continue teasing him by bringing up the incident under the mistletoe. “Shouldn’t you be off terrorizing a certain psychiatrist?”

“Oh, you mean Dr. Scratchinsniff? He won’t be dropping by until around seven.” The eldest Warner sibling explained as he waltzed into the room. “So what are you doing here all by your lonesome?”

“As a reserved and introverted soul, social gatherings aren’t my cup of tea.” Brain confessed. “If world domination was on the line, then I would be more involved. But being forced to make idle prattle with co-workers in a secluded space can be quite tiresome.” 

“I gotcha.” Yakko nodded, seeming to understand Brain’s plight. 

“And how did someone as sociable as yourself wander astray from the festivities?” Brain inquired. 

“I had to use the john.” Yakko answered frankly, pointing his thumb towards the door. “I was going to return to the party, but I heard the sound of a pool game going on and just had to investigate.” 

“Excellent detective work, Hercule Yakko.” Brain remarked, to which Yakko chuckled in response. 

“Say, can I join in?” The eldest Warner asked as he walked over to the racks. “It’s been a while since I played pool and you look like you could use a little company.” 

“The more the merrier.” Brain dryly responded as he struck the cue ball with his pencil. 

Yakko found a suitable cue stick and walked over beside Brain. He observed the pool table, noting the striped balls outnumbered the solid balls. 

“So I’ll be aiming for the striped ones then?” Yakko asked. 

“Correct.” Brain responded defeatedly. While he wished to finish up his solo game, he didn’t have it in him to tell the eldest Warner to leave. 

Yakko carefully aimed his cue rack at the cue ball and fired away. He managed to hit two striped balls straight into the pocket. He then made another successful shot and hit two more striped balls into the opposite pocket. Feeling confident and theatrical, Yakko turned around and managed to hit another striped ball into a pocket without looking. He looked over at the playing field and back at The Brain. “Well, you got trouble my friend.” He quipped. 

Brain looked up at Yakko for a moment before looking back at the pool with a grimace. After a moment of awkward silence, the eldest Warner spoke up again “Get it? Because we’re playing pool and I was referring to-”

“Yes, yes, I’ve seen The Music Man before Yakko, there’s no need to explain the joke.” Brain interrupted. 

“So was the joke not funny?” Yakko asked with a twinge of worry. 

“The joke was perfectly fine.” Brain assured upon noticing the boy’s sudden anxiousness. “I’m simply frustrated with my current state in the game and fear that the outcome won’t be in my favor.” 

“Oh, is it because you’re a mouse? I can try to make some accommodations so that we’re playing on even grounds.” Yakko kindly suggested. 

“No, no. The last thing I want is to be patronized and pitied.” Brain snapped, sounding more harsh than he intended. 

Yakko backed off upon seeing the mouse’s frustration.“Okay, whatever floats your boat.” He replied defensively. 

Brain’s face softened a bit, feeling guilty that he was a bit too hard on the boy. “If it’s any consolation, I have problems with my joke deliveries as well.” Brain lamented. “I tried telling The Mime a science joke earlier, but it fell flat.” 

“Which one?” Yakko queried out of curiosity. 

Brain fought his insecurities and mustered up the courage to tell the joke again. “One tectonic plate was walking around, he bumps into another tectonic plate and said-”

“‘Oops, I’m sorry, my fault’!” Yakko enthusiastically joined in as the punchline was delivered. The boy clapped his hands and started chuckling. “Ah, natural disaster humor.” 

Brain softly smiled. Yakko missed this time around and Brain hopped back on the table, figuring out the best course of action to keep up with Yakko’s pool playing. After a couple minutes of playing in companionable silence, the intelligent mouse decided to throw an ice-breaker question to liven the mood. 

“So Yakko, how have you and your siblings been doing lately?” The Brain asked in earnest. 

“We’ve been doing swell!” Yakko answered in a chipper tone. “I mean, sure, we had our fair of challenges adapting to the current trends after being frozen in suspended animation for twenty-two years, but what can ya do?”

Brain looked a little concerned at the boy. The last time he and Pinky saw the Warners was in 1998, when they attended a cast party after filming of Wakko’s Wish had wrapped. During those years, Brain was consumed with his contributions to the age of the internet while Pinky attended his therapy sessions. All that time spent focusing on his world domination scheme and he forgot about his fellow cast members and all the good times they shared together. When Brain and Pinky received the fateful phone call from Warner Brothers that they and the Warners would be the only returning cast members for the Animaniacs reboot, he was worried that they would be mad at him for not keeping in touch. But when they arrived on set, the Warners were simply happy to see them again. But the Brain lost his train of thought when he heard Yakko speak up again. 

“Not to mention the staggering amount of pop culture we’ve missed out on.” Yakko added. “Hey, did you know that there were two movie adaptations of How The Grinch Stole Christmas within the span of two decades?”

“Oh I’m well aware of that. Pinky actually dragged me to see both movies in the theaters.” Brain recalled. “And as you would expect, the feeble-minded fool thought they were cinematic masterpieces.” 

“Outside of trying to stay relevant, we’ve been doing some fun sibling projects on the side, like this sculpture of Giuseppe Acrimboldo made entirely out of fruit!” Yakko happily reminisced.

“You mean, the famous sixteenth century Italian mannerist portrait artist Giuseppe Acrimboldo?” Brain inquired enthusiastically. 

“Yeah, I managed to get a picture before that awful bun infestation got to him.” Yakko grabbed his phone and showed a picture of their sculpture. 

“That’s quite impressive.” Brain marveled. While the mouse was not present during the awful bun infestation, he had heard stories of the incident from his co-workers. He could only imagine Pinky having a field day with the mass quantities of bunnies.

“I even had a whole song written about him too!” Yakko added. 

“Well, I’m always eager to hear another one of your classic educational ditties, Yakko.” Brain encouraged. “I’m all ears.” 

“I would if I could, but I forgot the majority of the lyrics.” Yakko forlornly replied. He picked up his cue rack and strategically planned his next move. 

“Oh..” Bran uttered. The mouse tried to find another topic to bring up, but couldn’t help but think about the Warner siblings being locked away from the world for the second time. The mouse tried to bring up the topic as delicately as he could. 

“Forgive me for prying, but can I ask you a question concerning your 22 year absence.” Brain carefully inquired. 

“Sure!” Yakko acknowledged as he struck the cue ball, hitting the eight ball into the pocket and winning the game.

“Do you recall anything during your hibernation?” The mouse questioned. 

“No, not really. The only thing I could remember was what happened before. After Wakko’s Wish wrapped, some studio bigwigs came up to me and my sibs. We were given the choice to either be cryogenically frozen or to be locked in the tower again. After thinking it over, I decided that being frozen in suspended animation was the better option. And the process wasn’t all that bad. It was like taking a really long nap.” Yakko answered truthfully. “And let me tell you, being frozen was a walk in the park compared to being trapped in the water tower for over sixty years.” 

Brain’s ears drooped when he heard the sadness laced in Yakko’s voice. 

“I love my sibs and would risk my life for them, but it was really hard having to watch over them without any assistance from the adults for decades.” The boy confessed. “I mean, I managed to get by just fine, but it was neither a bed or roses nor a pleasure cruise. During those years I had to come up with different ways to entertain my sibs and keep them occupied. I didn’t want them to start thinking about whether or not people missed them or were even aware that they’ve been cooped up for so long. One could say being trapped in that tower felt like-”

“Being an animal in a cage.” Brain quietly finished, feeling a deep sense of empathy for the boy. 

Yakko stared at the mouse, amazed by how understanding he was of his past trauma. “Well, yeah…” 

The Brain drew in a long breath and exhaled. “Believe it or not, I understand where you’re coming from.” He confessed, sitting on the edge of the pool table and holding the pencil in his arms.

The mouse could not believe what he was doing. In any other circumstance, Brain would never open up to his co-workers about his feelings or the past traumas he endured. Opening up meant being vulnerable. Being vulnerable meant feeling helpless and without control. He gripped the pencil tightly at the thought of not being completely in charge of himself. But Brain fought against his need to put up defensive barriers and decided to reveal his miserable and pitiful past if it meant providing the boy with some sense of solidarity. 

“I was once a young field mouse who lived a carefree and happy existence with my parents out in the wild.” Brain reminisced. “But I was separated from my family at a tender age when a group of Acme Lab scientists abducted me from my tin-can home. From that day forward, I was imprisoned in the laboratory where I was subjected to cruel, emotionally-scarring experiments and used as fodder in the name of science and human curiosity.” His voice trembled as he exposed his past to the eldest Warner, but he soldiered on. 

“The first friend I ever made was a hamster named Snowball, but when we went through the gene splicer, it had different effects on us. I gained advanced intelligence, while Snowball went mad with power, and we had a terrible falling out. But when it seemed that I was doomed to live the rest of my days isolated in the lab…” Brain paused for a moment and then continued. “But one day, a new lab mouse brought over to live with me in my cage. It was at that moment that Pinky entered into my life and...well, the rest is history.” He explained with a sad smile. 

Yakko listened in with sympathetic ears. He never thought that anyone could relate to the pain of having his freedom stripped away and being locked against his will. But he also admired the mouse’s courage to tell his story anyways. 

“Pinky really was my saving grace.” Brain admitted, aware of the affection in his tone. “His presence made being stuck in the lab more bearable. Sure, he may be imbecilic and dim-witted, but he’s also loyal, compassionate, and the best friend I could ever ask for.” After praising Pinky’s positive aspects, Brain’s smile slowly faded. “But sometimes I wonder why Pinky would want to be my friend, and other times where I feel like I don’t deserve to be his friend.” 

“Well, how come?” Yakko cautiously inquired. 

“Years ago, I promised Pinky that if I ruled the world, I would make it into a better place. A kinder place for social outcasts and marginalized individuals like him. But after so many years of trying and putting in the work, my destiny is still far from reach. And yet, he’s still standing by my side. It’s just...I don’t know what Pinky sees in me.” Brain sadly explained as he cradled the pencil in his arms. “Perhaps he’s much better off without me…” He sighed, letting the awful confession escape his lips. 

Yakko sadly frowned at the downtrodden mouse, but he quickly knew how to cheer him up. “Oh I wouldn’t be so sure about that.” 

“Well why not?” The mouse somberly asked. 

“Maybe the reason why Pinky is attached to the hip is because he loves you.” Yakko suggested. 

“Perhaps he does. His unquestioning loyalty to me is proof of that.” Brain pondered aloud. 

“...and that you love him back.” Yakko added with a sly smile. 

“What?” Brain cried out, sharply turning his head to face Yakko. “That’s preposterous! I don’t love Pinky, I merely….tolerate him.”

“Uh huh,” Yakko nodded, not buying his co-worker’s fib. “I guess your toleration must be pretty strong then.” 

Yakko placed the cue stick on the side of the pool and walked over towards the mouse.“I mean, who else would sacrifice their chance at world domination on Christmas, go to the depths of h-e-double hockey sticks to save the guy after he sold his soul so you could rule the world, reunite him with his entire family after years of separation, save him from quicksand by embracing your wild side, teach him about the Constitution and upholding the values that make up our country’s democracy, and tend to his aid after the poor guy got pulverized by some crummy humans.” The eldest Warner detailed as he counted all of Brain’s deeds on each finger. Brain’s ears drooped as he heard him recall all of his past heroics when it came to helping the friend he loved so dearly. 

“That’s going above and beyond for someone you merely tolerate, don’t you think?” Yakko concluded. 

“W-who told you all that?” Brain blurted in disbelief. 

“Pinky did.” Yakko answered honestly. “Why, just a few minutes after you left, Pinky started talking about all the great and amazing things you did for him. If you don’t believe me, the proof is in the pudding.” He fished out his phone from his pocket and showed Brain a video, with Pinky’s gleaming smile on the thumbnail. Yakko pressed play. 

Pinky was gathered around a few of the party guests on the couch. Wakko and Dot sat closely by his left, and Jay Pac Le East Tha Rapper by his right. 

“Poit! And when it came down to choosing the world or me, Brain chose me and decided to compete in rhythmic gymnastics to save my soul!” Pinky explained enthusiastically to his enchanted audience. “Oh you should have seen Brain! He looked so stunning in his marvelous blue spandex, prancing about oh so gracefully with his string-on-a-stick, and he scored a perfect ten! But that awful, no-good Mr. Itch cheated by rigging the competition in his favor and it seemed like Brain and I were doomed to be separated forever!”

Wakko and Dot gasped in shock and instinctively grabbed onto each other for comfort. Even Jay Pac was deeply invested in the story. 

“But it turned out that he didn’t deliver on his original promise to give me my radish rose whatchamawhozit, so I was able to be with Brain again!” Pinky happily concluded. 

Wakko stood up and applauded. “Oh how I love a happy ending!” 

“Wow, my respect for Brain just went through the roof.” Jay Pac commented. 

“You know, I never realized how cool Brain was until just now.” Dot admitted. 

“He sure is!” Pinky gushed. “Brain is smart, he never gives up on his dreams, he wants what’s best for the world, and he’s the best friend I could ever ask for. Zort! I love him so much, and I know that he loves me too!” 

“Pinky, can you tell us another story about The Brain?” Wakko asked enthusiastically, like a child wanting to hear another bedtime story. 

“Pretty please, Pinky!!” Dot begged, giving her cutest pout and fluttering her puppy-dog eyes. 

“Of course!” Pinky answered gleefully as he leapt up in the air and landed back on the couch. “Oh! I should tell you all about the time he helped me reunite with my mum, my dad, and my sis!”

As the video ended, tears started to pool in Brain’s eyes. He roughly scrubbed them away before they could fall, not allowing himself to become more vulnerable than he already felt. “Perhaps I don’t just tolerate him. Dare I say, I even like Pinky.” Brain half-confessed. He knew that he loved Pinky dearly, but he would never bring himself to verbalize his feelings. 

“Actions speak louder than words, buddy.” Yakko retorted. “But I totally get where you’re comin’ from, though. Wakko and Dot mean the world to me.” 

“Even though you wrestled your own sibling over something as petty as taking the last of your favorite appetizer?” Brain mentioned sardonically. 

“Alright, so I have a problem managing my Cain instinct, guilty as charged.” Yakko answered. 

“Sure, we drive each other bonkers sometimes, but at the end of the day, they’re still my sibs and I love them more than they could even know.” The boy smiled as he talked about his dearest siblings. 

“But I still can’t help but wonder, what might happen in the future, after the reboot.” Yakko pondered with concern. “What if Wakko and Dot decide to go out in the world and do their own thing? Would they still need me? Would they want me around? And I don’t know how I’d do without ‘em because they’re the only family I’ve got.” 

Brain felt his heart go out to Yakko. While the boy can be a nuisance and a smart alec, there was a lot of good in him. But he could also understand the boy’s fears. Yakko was as strongly attached to his siblings and his whole life revolved maintaining that relationship. The mouse pondered to himself until he found the best way to alleviate the boy’s worries. 

The small mouse walked over to the eldest Warner brother and gently placed his hand on top of his. “Well, there may come a time when the three of you will go your separate ways and lead  independent lives, but no matter how far apart you are, you’ll always maintain that strong familial bond.” 

Yakko gave Brain an intrigued look. “What makes you so sure?” 

“Pinky and I raised a son together.” Brain answered with a small smile. 

“Since when?” Yakko asked with a baffled look on his face. 

“It happened back in the late 90s. Roman Numeral One, or Romy for short. I initially planned to make a clone of myself and use him for global conquest, but one of Pinky’s errant toenails was muddled in with my DNA sample, thus creating a clone that modeled after the two of us.” Brain explained, still smiling as he reminisced. “Once Romy reached the age of reason, he departed from the lab and moved on to make a life for himself. Fortunately, Pinky and I are still on good terms with our son, and we would call him every now and again, just to see how he’s doing. And even though our boy is out in the world pursuing his own dreams, we still love him dearly and learned to maintain our familial bond despite the long distance between us.”

“So whatever happens in the future, I’m certain that you and your siblings will still be as thick as thieves.” Brain assured, giving the eldest Warner sibling reassuring pats on his hand. Yakko smiled back at the mouse’s kind gesture.

“But if you’re still uncertain about the future, I’ll guarantee this to you,” Brain added. “If I become the ruler of- no, no. When I become the ruler of the world, my palace doors will always be open for you and your siblings. And if any of you ever feel lost or lonely, Pinky and I will be more than willing to grant you companionship.” Brain offered his small hand out to the boy. 

Yakko was eager with the proposition. “Well Brain, I was already rooting for you to take over the world, but now I’m twice as invested! You got yourself a deal!” The eldest Warner enthusiastically shook the mouse’s hand. The Brain gave a hearty chuckle, amazed at the boy’s excitement and encouragement. 

“And Brain,” Yakko looked at the small mouse. “I’m really glad we had this talk...and thanks for everything.” 

Brain could tell that Yakko rarely opened up about his personal issues and musings to others, so not to trouble them or cause concern. But he could tell just how grateful the boy was for understanding and providing him with the comfort he needed. 

“You’re welcome, Yakko.” Brain quietly replied. 

“Well, I think that’s enough emotionally heavy conversations for one night.” Yakko commented, trying to sound as laid-back as possible. 

“Agreed. You know, I think I’m ready to return to the party and make a more admirable attempt at socializing.” Brain said with confidence. 

“That’s the spirit!” Yakko praised, giving him a thumbs up. 

As Brain and Yakko were putting away the billiards equipment, they heard three sets of footsteps approaching the rec room. Sure enough, it was Pinky, followed by Wakko and Dot. 

“Oh, there you two are! Narf!” Pinky exclaimed. 

“So this is where you two have been.” Dot addressed her brother and the mouse. 

“Yep, just us guys playing some pool.” Yakko answered half-honestly as he gestured towards his smaller companion. “You could say that we were getting along swimmingly.” 

Upon hearing the dad joke, Wakko and Dot retrieved their pun guns and shot their older brother on sight. Brain saw the yellow lasers fly through the room and hit Yakko, causing him to fall over on impact. The mouse looked on with concern. 

“I’m fine.” Yakko assured The Brain despite the obvious pain he was in. 

Brain returned his attention to his roommate and the other Warner siblings. “So what shenanigans have you three rascals been up to during our absence?” He inquired. 

“We gained access to the CEO’s movie screening room!” Dot answered. 

“There’s a big screen tv, a comfy leather couch, a snack bar, and everything!” Wakko added enthusiastically.

“Good work sibs!” Yakko complimented as he got back up on his feet. 

“Troz! And now that we found you two, we can all go there and watch The Grinch together!” Pinky joyfully declared. 

“Which one?” Yakko and The Brain asked in unison, knowing that there were multiple adaptations of the classic story and both secretly hoping that it was the 1966 animated special.

“The animated one, of course!” Pinky cheerfully replied.

“You need to be more specific, Pinky.” Brain added, praying that his friend was referring to the classic television special as opposed to the bland Illumination movie. 

“Oh, it’s the one with the Boris Karloff narration and the lovely songs!” Pinky gushed as he hugged himself. 

“Thank Heavens.” Brain replied, relieved that his roommate was referring to the former. “We would be delighted to accompany you three, right Yakko?”

“Oh absolutely!” Yakko replied. He carefully picked up Brain and placed him in the palm of his left hand before walking over to the others. He then knelt down and offered Pinky a ride on his right hand, to which he happily accepted. 

As Yakko followed his younger siblings to the private theater, he joined his hands together, bridging the divide between the two laboratory mice. Pinky immediately leapt over to Brain, enveloping him in a warm and welcoming hug. Brain decided not to recoil from Pinky’s affection and accepted the embrace. 

“Oh it’s good to see you again Brain!” Pinky exclaimed. “I missed you so much since you left, and I was getting worried that I was never going to see you again.” 

“It’s good to see you too, Pinky.” Brain kindly remarked. “I just needed to recharge after socializing. You know that I would never abandon my best friend in the whole world, right?”

“Your best friend? Where?” Pinky shouted worriedly as he looked over each shoulder.

Brain rolled his eyes at his friend’s stupidity. “It’s you, Pinky. In addition to being my roommate and my assistant, you’re my best friend in the whole world.”

“Naarf.” Pinky awed, his eyes glistening with wonder. Overwhelmed with joy, the taller mouse decided to give his intelligent roommate an extra squeeze. “Well what a coincidence! It just so happens that you’re my best friend in the whole world, Brain!” 

“I know, Pinky.” Brain muttered as he patted the taller mouse’s back. “I know.” 

Unbeknownst to both mice, the Warners smiled warmly as they witnessed the sweet exchange. 

The Warners and the lab mice entered the private theater. Dot retrieved Pinky and the two went over to the couch, where she placed a pillow over her lap, giving Pinky a place to sit. Brain managed to get the Blu-Ray player running as Wakko grabbed a stockpile of snacks. Yakko turned off the lights to provide a more theatrical experience. Yakko carefully held Brain as he plopped down on the couch, sitting between his younger siblings. Yakko moved his hand over to Dot, who gently held Brain before placing him on the pillow alongside Pinky.

As the Christmas special started, Pinky scooted over to Brain to sit closer to him. Feeling Pinky’s presence and taking into account that they were nearly enveloped in darkness, Brain lifted himself and placed a gentle kiss on Pinky’s cheek. After settling himself back down, he carefully wrapped his arm around his roommate’s waist and pulled him closer. The taller mouse was taken aback by his roommate’s actions. Pinky stared at his best friend, who lovingly gazed at him with a soft smile. Brain couldn’t verbalize the love he held for Pinky, but he hoped his kind physical gestures spoke a thousand words. Pinky beamed at Brain in response and wrapped his arm around him. The two mice continued to gaze into each other’s eyes for a few moments longer before returning their attention to the television. 

Additional AN: Looking back on Animaniacs and the Pinky and the Brain spin-off as a person in her late-twenties, I’ve become fully aware of how both The Brain and Yakko deeply care about their loved ones to the point where they’re scared of the thought of being separated from them or seeing them hurt in any way. 

Yakko is so attached to Wakko and Dot, pretty much raised them at the tender age of 14, so I feel like he would have this lingering fear of being alone. Whether he’s separated from them or has the idea that they wouldn’t need him anymore. The reboot establishes Yakko’s insecurities of caring about what other people think and that he may not be as funny as he presents himself to be. I found this to be a fascinating aspect of his character, and I wanted to play around with that in the fic. 

The Brain, on the other hand, loves Pinky. Even if he can’t bring himself to admit it due to how emotionally constipated he is, his actions speak for him. Brain reading Pinky’s letter to Santa and being so moved that Pinky thinks so highly of him and is so supportive of him that he backs out of taking over the world even though he had the whole world under his command, The Brain literally going to hades to bring Pinky back because being the ruler of the world isn’t the same without him, Brain going out of his way to reunite Pinky with his family (even if it was for a scheme) and even using the gene splicer on them so they could understand each other, and Brain tending to Pinky’s aid when he’s beaten up by humans for being a mouse and changing his motives of world conquest to make the world and better and kinder place for Pinky and others who feel small. The reboot also has more moments where Brain chooses Pinky over a future version of himself, rescuing Pinky from being enslaved by a power-hungry toddler, and even trying to comfort him the best he could after his monster wife ran off with the other monster and the two of them perished upon falling down. There are also a lot of great hints of a slow-burn romance between the two, but I’m getting ahead of myself there. 

The biggest challenge I had writing this story that followed the lore of the characters. One headcanon I played around with is that Pinky and the Brain work as part-time actors and that the majority of the skits (especially the history-based ones) were made for the show, while the events that took place in Pinky and the Brain spin-off and certain episodes from the reboot (Of Mice and Memes,Future Brain, and Roadent Trip) actually occurred in the show’s universe. 

Also there are aspects of the reboot that I purposefully left out, such as Brain being super evil and Pinky being a passive enabler(*cough cough* episodes 3 and 8 *cough cough*) and Pinky having daddy issues since they conflict with their established characterizations from the PATB spin-off. 

I also wanted to provide some sort of explanation as to what the Warners were up to during the past 22 years. So I figured that having them frozen in suspended animation was the more logical choice. I also came up with the idea that they had to choose between staying frozen or being locked in the water tower again for added drama. 

Overall, I had a lot of fun writing this story. It’s been a long time since I last publicly published fanfiction since there was a lot going on in my personal life and I was too busy and I didn’t feel entirely motivated to write. But upon rewatching old episodes of Pinky and the Brain, Animaniacs, and watching season one of the Animaniacs reboot has reawakened my creative muse and motivated me to write, and I do plan on writing more stories centered around these characters. 

Please leave a review if you can! Thanks for reading!

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Real Life Tasks With Ransom Drysdale

An Advent Calendar Of 24 Normal Human Tasks As Performed By A Huge Man Baby

Day 22: National Lampoon Christmas Vacation Drysdale Style

Warnings: Bad Language Words. 

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x Reader

A/N: So this is my last entry for the Ransom Advent Calendar. It has been so much fucking fun to do and read everyone's reactions at his attempts to be a good husband. Much love sent to @jennmurawski13​ and @what-is-your-backupplan-today​ for the joint writing and antics. Happy Holidays everyone, Happy Reading and Much Love always 

Series Masterlist

Christmas it turned out was a big deal for you. Huge actually, you had been decorating for a week since thanksgiving last Thursday and Ransom had never seen anything like it. There were lights and ornaments all over the place, he had never seen a nutcracker before but when you demonstrated how to use one, he said that was barbaric, and there was the constant smell of some kind of strong smelling candle constantly burning through the house now. 

He could just imagine how much Linda would hate all of this, the santas, reindeer and snowmen scattered around, the big giant wreath hanging on the door, or the platter of cookies always laid out for whoever wanted some. She would loathe it and consider it tacky. Ransom loved it all just for that reason. 

As well as how happy it seemed to make you, he would catch you now talking to your belly all the time, singing Christmas songs and telling stories while you would be setting something new up. Today you were busy making a miniature village the length of the living room to put in the picture window. Little houses scattered across the white sheet covered board, and you were fluffing bits of white cotton to look like snow, a container of people and animals were nearby to start setting up like it was an actual little village. 

“Where did you even have all this packed away?” Ransom asked while he leaned over the table to get a better look at some of the buildings. 

“In the attic, where you store stuff.” You retort sarcastically, as you try to prop some fencing up, and you straighten, rubbing the small of your back. “And I'm almost finished.” This time a hint of pride in your voice didn't escape Ransom, and he moved up behind you, taking over to rub at the small of your back, able to dig slightly into the tense muscle and make you moan in appreciation. 

“Well it all looks good Princess.” he said softly and you nodded in agreement, happy at how well it had come together. “I have never had a Christmas like this before.” 

You turned to face him, wrapping your arms around his waist while looking up at him. “I know, and I plan on changing that. This is the kind of Christmas’s I want our Bean to have, fun and exciting, full of love. There is one thing I need you to do though.” 

“Oh? What's that? Taste test cookies? Because I'm all for that. Cookies and whiskey.” Ransom grinned and you shook your head. 

“No, cookies and milk Ransom.” You chuckled while his face screwed up in disgust. 

“Now that's just wrong. Ruin a perfectly good cookie. And what did you need?” 

“Fine! When the time comes Bean will leave out Cookies and Whiskey for Santa… we will have a drunk Santa, everyone needs some kind of messed up tradition.” You played your fingers in his soft knit sweater for a second. “I need you to hang the lights outside.” 

“Why the fuck we doing the outside to? It already looks like that elf you made me watch the other night wreaked havoc through our house.” 

“Because Ransom, it looks nice. I already left it all out in the garage. All you gotta do is line the edge of the roof with the blue and white icicle lights I left you.” You patted his chest and turned back towards your village. “And admit it, what makes me happy usually fares well for you.” 

“Just the lights? You're not gonna make me drag anything up on the roof like that movie the other night?” 

You paused a moment, thinking about what Ransom was talking about. “What movie?” 

“You know, the Tim the Toolman one, with that Halloween chick.” Ransom stated while grabbing a jacket from the closet and pulling it on to get ready to go out and start on the project you assigned him to. 

“Oh Christmas With The Kranks… no no, there is no Frosty for our roof.” You turn back to your village, ending with a “Yet. I ordered one though. But he wont get here till after the new year because the one I wanted was on back order. Next year Ransom, you gotta get a Frosty up there.” 

“Fucking hell, Of course I do.” He muttered to himself while leaving the house to get into the garage, feeling suddenly like maybe he wasn't entirely loving this whole Christmas explosion as much as he thought he did. 

In the garage were a few boxes of the lights you had described, as well as a brand new nail gun and staples. He set about pulling out the lights, effectively tangling them in the process and spending another 45 minutes cursing them with every name he could think of while untangling them. “You fucking cunts, l’m gonna murder you if you don’t stay untangled.” He whipped the lights till they fell in place, and he dragged them all outside to toss in the snow near one edge of the house. Going back, he got an aluminum ladder and dragged that out as well to prop against the edge of the house. “Fuck this is going to take forever.” He grumbled while loping the lights over his arm and grabbing the nail gun to climb to the top. 

Ransom, he was typically fearless, heights didn't bother him, so that made him less self aware then most people. He just started to stretch the lights along the edge, stapling half haphazardly along the roof while letting them dangle down his shoulder and eventually the strand tangled around his feet. It wasn't so bad he thought when he managed to get a quarter of the way up and was about to climb down the ladder to move it over. Ready to start hanging more lights when the strand tightened around his ankle from where they got tangled and the sudden pressure made him lose balance.

Now he felt actual fear of falling, watching as the bushes under the living room window where you were setting up the village started to rush towards him when a snap stopped him, making him sway and twist around like a pendulum. You happened to look up when he screamed and saw him hanging just above the ground. “RANSOM!” you yelled while awkwardly rushing away from the table to get outside, your hand braced against the side of your very pregnant belly to support it. “Hang on! Oh fuck fuck fuck...” You chanted in a panic while you made your way carefully down the steps of the house. 

While you're trudging through the snow in your house slippers, Ransom is screaming. “Y/N, Call 911! Call 911!” he's all red faced from being upside down, his hands trying to grab at the bushes below to make himself stop swinging, and your using your phone to call the local emergency services because you are imagining all kinds of scenarios, mainly that your boyfriend has busted a ankle hanging like that or he was going to break his neck falling and you were going to have to raise the baby yourself. 

“Don’t you dare break your neck Ransom, if you die and I have to raise our spawn child myself.” Your voice is panicked as your pressing the phone to your ear. 

Ransom hollers hearing you, having grabbed a hold of the bush now to support himself. “PAY ATTENTION TO THE PHONE Y/N!”

There was a pop above the two of you and all the staples shoot out, the lights slacking as they pull away from the roof, and Ransom fell the last few feet into the bush  below with a grunt from impact. 

You give a surprised yelp when he disappeared from sight, the voice on the other end finally got your attention and your words just about run together. “Myhusband- he was hanging off the roof. I don't know what happened, he was hanging lights.” 

Ransom rolled out of the bush, still tangled in lights. “Tell them i’m fucking fine Y/N.” He growled while trying to tug the lights off his legs. And you paused a second. 

“You sure? You don't want to be checked out?” Your voice waivers with uncertainty, and Ransom is sitting in the snow, working once more to get them untangled, this time from around his ankles. 

“Yea, I'm not hurt.” He yanks on them while shoving them off with a “Fucking whore bitch, I hate you.” his temper making him curse at the lights, and you step away so the 911 operator cant hear him. 

“We’re fine, I’m sorry to bother you.” Hanging up, you return to Ransom who's standing now, checking himself over. 

“I am not going back up there again Y/N, and that fucking Frosty can go in the yard.” he sputtered as he kicked at the lights before swooping down to gather them. “I will hire someone, that's the only way it will be done.” 

You can hear the genuine shocked fear in his tone, and you have to agree this time with him that it would be better to let someone else do it. He half expects you to argue with him about it, wanting to be independent on hiring help, but this time you surprise him. 

“You are right Ransom.” 

Pausing, he looked at you with shock. “I’m… right?” 

You nodded and rested your hand on your protruding belly. “Better mark the calendar.” Everything that happened in the last five minutes sink in, making you gasp a bit as the heaviness settled in your chest. The tears they just bust out of nowhere and Ransom drops the offensive lights to pull you into his arms. Of course you were going to cry, it seemed to be all you did over this. He was kind of used to it by now. 

“Hey Princess, its okay.” He says soothing as you sob into his chest, making him wince. “It takes more then some god damn lights to end me.” 

You sniffle a bit and lift your head to look at him. “Its not that Ransom.” 

“Well then, what the hell brought on the waterworks?” He arched a brow and you look at the front of your house. 

“I didn’t get a picture of you hanging off the house to show our kid.” 

Ransom looked at you incredulously in disbelief. “You are serious...” 

Shrugging a bit now that the shock was over you grinned a bit. “Come on... I’m just teasing. Now that its over an your safe, it was a little funny seeing you have a Clark Griswold moment...” Ransom pulled away and started stomping towards the house, you following after him. “Ransom! Don’t be mad! Its Christmas!”  

“Fuck Off Y/N, I’m not in the mood.” He grumbled while shrugging off his jacket and you knew you had to make it up to him. 

[em0avacado]

A very Mayan Christmas - Michael “Riz” Ariza

A/N : hey! So, I’m thinking about making a Christmas themed type fic where all the themed ones tie in with this one? I’m still plotting it out but I might.

trigger warnings : none tbh

word count : 1316

Something that didn’t come as a surprise to her was that the Mayans weren’t huge on Christmas, sure, the men that had their significant others were home on Christmas Eve, and Day, even boxing day if they pleased. They were given their days off to “relax” for the Holiday, but there was also parties at the clubhouse for those who would otherwise spend it alone. No one wanted that. The men of the Mayans wouldn’t otherwise admit it, but to them, and affiliated people were a family, for plenty of them, it was the only family they really had. They understood each other, spent a good majority of their with one another.

When her and Riz had started dating a little less than a year ago, it took a while for you to build up the courage to meet Riz’s big, happy, and more than rowdy family. He’d told you endless stories before you really felt ready to meet them, all of them, burly guys, with stone cold expressions when need be, covered in tattoos, they were intimidating, really. So the last thing she expected was when they were all rather big softies within the four walls of the clubhouse.

[Y/N], on one hand, was all about Christmas, and celebrating it with those she loved, so it was very, very easily decided that Christmas Eve was to be spend at the clubhouse, celebrating with their big family, and the next morning was for her and Riz, till about noon when they were to head back to the clubhouse. With an elf hat that jingled at every move she made, it had little ears sewn to the sides of it, she had it pulled over her head, hair falling down her back and a tray of cookies in her hands.

The atmosphere in the clubhouse was an odd but soothing mixture, people littering the entire place. Some stood at the bar, some in random spaces with beer or spiked eggnog in their hands, others sat at the tables, their minds focused entirely on the cookies sat front of them, arguing about who was getting the red icing packet next like there wasn’t another sitting free just across from them. It brought a smile to her lips, the warm feeling in her chest was felt through to the tips of her fingers as furrowed her brows slightly, a soft chuckle rolling past her full lips. The chaos of their child like manner blended so sweetly with the way you could tell they all loved each other, she could see it in the way their eyes shone as they continued their playful banter. Every Mayan wearing a newly knitted Santa hat that Taza’s old lady was making and handing out to anyone that wanted one, so, all of them.

“Coco give me the fucking green!” Angel shouted, catching her attention immediately, raising both of her brows as she watched a moment longer.

“nah.” he simply replied, continuing to cake his single gingerbread man in green icing, she assumed that he was only using so much to bother Angel. “there’s another one over there.”

“but that ones slightly darker than this one..” he all but whined, slouching his back.

“and? who cares?” spoke Coco, in a nonchalant manner.

“What you mean ‘who cares’?! I care! I’m like the Picasso of cookie decorating! I need that green!” Angel defended, motioning to his cookie which had very precise lines for clothing and facial expressions “Y/N, tell him to give it to me!” he looked at her just after she set more cookies down, Gilly immediately going to snatch up some of the sugar cookies, shoving them in his pockets before taking another just to eat them, Ezekiel doing the exact same.

Arching a single eyebrow, she reached into the pocket of her cardigan, she handed Angel another packet of green icing, the identical one to the one Coco had, watching his eyes light up like a kid on Christmas morning. He got back to outlining and filling in the sweater on his cookie, zeroing in entirely. Shaking her head, she turned to walk away from table of grown children to find her man, Riz. He wasn’t far away in the slightest, in fact, he was making his way over to her. Feeling his arms wrap around her waist, he rested his head against her shoulder, breathing in her scent, he felt so entirely at home, and at peace.

“Hey, mi amor.” he hummed in a smooth voice, her hands finding their way around his shoulders, simply drinking in the moment with him. She firmly believed there was no better feeling than this right here, the voices of bickering bikers slowly faded, the soft melodic voice of Michael Bublé played in the background as there was a slow sway in Riz’s stance, a wide smile decorating his handsome face as he pulled away. “Do you know how entirely I adore you?” he asked, pulling away to look at her, his hand shifting upward to cradle her face in his palm, a thumb trailing over the soft skin of her cheek.

“Of course.” [Y/N] noted, already feeling the emotion of the moment bubbling in her chest. The ways that Riz made her feel, were incomparable. When he spoke to her, from sweet talk, to normal every day conversation about what his plans were that day, what time he’d be home. It didn’t matter, Riz was it, he made her feel physically flushed with every touch, the first time he said those three little words to her, she nearly fainted. “You show me in every way, every day.” she added, a soft hun following her words.

“good.” he hummed, just before he attached his lips to hers, and in that moment, it was just them, and the feeing of being whole taking her over. Her eyes sparkled when their kiss ended, looking up at him. His gaze fell on her, looking at her with so much pure adoration in his eyes, he shook his head. He wanted to give her, her gift right then and there. With their unruly family surrounding them, with the holiday spirit flowing so thickly in the air, with the laughter and jokes that surrounded them. “Marry me.” he more stated than asked her.

“what?” she asked, shock setting in, staring at him.

“I said, marry me.” he said, pressing a kiss to her lips between every word that slipped from his own before he reached into his kutte pocket. Balancing the velvet box in his hand, he got down on one knee, quickly catching the attention of everyone surrounding them. Her hands flew to her mouth, watching him lower himself. “I want this, us, our family together on holidays being complete fools, I want you entertaining these idiots with your motherly self, I want to spend every day with you until we’re both old and grey, sitting on chairs on the porch and yelling at kids to get off our lawn, and I want Sunday breakfast with you, and I want it every single sunday, every single day, every single holiday and i want it with no one else but you. So. Marry me. You’re gonna marry me.” he said, he didn’t even ask, he just told her that she was gonna marry him.

“Yes, of course I’ll marry you.” she said between subtle sobs of pure joy, she let her hand down when he grabbed it gently, sliding the ring on her finger as she tried to gather her emotions.

“I know you will.” Riz said with a smug grin on his face when he bent slightly to press his lips to hers once more, ensuing a round of applause.

“Y/N! Look it’s you in cookie form -“ Angel interrupted with his shouting, eyes shifting to him as he paused his yelling “wait.. what’d I miss?”

Tag List (message me if you wanna be part of it?) :

@mayans-sauce

[theofficialstereklibrary]

Happy Holidays from the Library! (and Jeep)

Hello friends! Thank you for the love and support and concern you have shown me. My personal blog got a bunch of dm’s and asks telling me about how happy they were that I was putting in the effort to fix the tags and keep the Library going and it’s been a wonderful gift to me. 

But today is Christmas Eve and I didn’t want you to head off to your family’s without a little gift from me! 

This post is going to be a list of my favorite Christmas fics, all true recommendations and not just an update on the latest fics like usual. These are all fics that made me laugh, cry and just truly enjoy the holiday season. You might recognize a few so be sure to tell me the ones you love as well! 

This is gonna be quite the list, and I try not to be a total ass, so the fics are under the break :) - Jeep

In no particular order, Jeep’s Sterek Holiday Favorites -

When You Stop Believing in Santa You Get Underwear by owlpostagain (7,817 | 1/1 | T)

There are some salvageable things though. A virtually untouched heavy slate sign that says, engraved in an ornate script that confirms at least one person in the Hale family had a sense of humor (Stiles has a horrible suspicion it might have been Peter), When You Stop Believing in Santa You Get Underwear.

The Natural Binding Properties of Pine Sap by uraneia (4,296 | 1/1 | T)

Derek saves a nymph from being somebody's Christmas decoration. As a reward, the nymph grants him a twig of mistletoe.

If Derek had known the mistletoe would come to life and goad him into kissing people at random, he might have tried to refuse.

I Just Want You For My Own (More Than You Could Ever Know) by yodasyoyo (16,062 | 4/4 | T)

“What is with that sweater, dude?”

Derek ducks his head to look at it, abashed. “Uh- Mrs Hernandez knitted it for me. It’s an early Christmas gift.” He smooths it down self-consciously.

Stiles cocks an eyebrow.

“What? She’s my neighbor and sometimes I-” Derek trails off. Stiles’ other eyebrow rises to join the first, and Derek sighs. “Sometimes I help her carry her groceries."

Of course he does. One day maybe Stiles will stop being in love with Derek Hale, but today is not that day.

A Hale for the Holidays by rlnerdgirl (38,095 | 1/1 | E)

“I sent you a Christmas card that got sent back to me. Did you get a new apartment?” his dad wonders. The question is all suspicion and little anything else.

A flicker of an idea sparks. It’s not nearly formed well enough for him to say, “Yeah, actually,” and when he follows that with, “I moved in with someone,” he wants to punch himself in the face. He’s living with someone?!

“You’re living with someone?” It’s the same voice and tone as the one in Stiles’ head, just thirty years older.

Two things keep Stiles from bashing his face onto the table: there’s a steaming cup of coffee in the way and, more importantly, his dad will definitely hear. Someone passes by in front of him and a semi-familiar book cover catches his eye. “Derek Hale,” he muses, and stops. No. That wasn’t meant to be out loud.

Gingerbread by slythatheart (16,572 | 1/1 | T)

Stiles is offered a Christmas wish, and there's only one thing he can think of to wish for.

A Christmas Hale by Captain_Loki (14,298 | 1/1 | M)

His mouth began forming the word 'no' in a knee jerk reaction, but it died on his lips when he actually looked at Stiles. There was no pity in his face, no sense of moral obligation or charitable intent, he looked...earnest and nervous and so much the sixteen that he was. He realized with a jolt that had his stomach twisting into something that felt nothing like anger that Stiles wasn't asking for Derek's sake. 

sometimes fate is like a small snowstorm by thepsychicclam (8,145 | 1/1 | M)

In a coffee shop two days before Christmas, Derek meets Stiles. Despite neither of them being interested in relationships, they spend an unforgettable evening together, but then part ways. During the following years, Stiles competes in the Olympics, Derek tours the world - and neither of them forget. Then twelve years later, two days before Christmas, Derek finds Stiles in that same coffee shop.

With A Little Christmas Magic by Ashabadash (10,669 | 1/1 | T)

AU: Stiles is jobless this Christmas and as a last resort, is stuck playing one of Santa’s elves at the mall. The job is a bust, and Stiles isn’t really in the Christmas mood, until he finds salvation in the Starbucks at the food court, not only in hiding from kids, but in one very sexy barista named Derek.

Real life isn't a movie (life doesn't make narrative sense) by dearericbittle (dutchmoxie) (11,586 | 1/1 |T)

Somehow accidentally insulting a hot guy in a coffee shop leads to pretending to be his boyfriend in front of a house full of werewolves. Stiles Stilinski is living his best life and making the most of his Hallmark movie moment.

All The Way Home (I'll Be Warm) by GotTheSilver (11,535 | 1/1 | M)

Stiles is standing there, shifting awkwardly from foot to foot, and Derek doesn’t want to see him disappear into the apartment opposite without a promise to see him again. “Do you—would you like something to drink? Coffee?”

“Uh, yeah, sure.” Rubbing his hands together, Stiles nods and looks over his shoulder. “Can you give me a minute to get changed? I’ve got snow melting in places that I don’t want it to be melting.”

Derek laughs at the look on Stiles’ face and nods. “Knock when you’re done.”

If Derek watches Stiles until the door closes, that’s no one’s business but his own.

Jingle Grouch by aggybird (3,262 | 1/1 | G)

Derek the Grinch has a crush on Stiles the Snow Elf.

All I Want for Christmas (Is You) by blindinglights (9,284 | 1/1 | E)

Derek meets Stiles in a department store while shopping for his family, after seeing a little girl crying for her Dad on the floor. They part ways and Derek doesn’t think he’ll see Stiles again. Beacon Hills may not be that big, but it still doesn’t mean he’ll ever run into Stiles, because that’s just not how Derek’s life works. Despite what Erica tries to tell him whenever she can, that sometimes fate can happen, Christmas miracles, whatever, it won’t.

Home for Christmas by mikkimouse (6,613 | 1/1 | T)

"Derek," Dad said with a warm smile. "Glad you could make it."

Derek nodded seriously. "Of course, Sheriff."

Stiles felt the pieces slot together in his head. "Wait, you called him?"

"Technically, Melissa called him," Dad said.

"Ha ha. What's he doing here?" Stiles turned to Derek. "Seriously, what are you doing here?"

Derek held up his keys. "I'm here to take you home."

how you doin’? by decideophobia (6,768 | 1/1 | T)

“So,” Derek says eventually, because he feels awkward and uncomfortable, “how you doin’?”

Mistletoe's Overrated Anyway by stilinski (8,263 | 1/1 | T)

Derek remembers a hyperactive eleven year old with a buzzcut and an irritating habit of getting underfoot - his memory doesn’t lend to the lean, doe eyed brunet in his hallway; he’s talking on his phone and scowling something fierce but Derek’s mouth goes dry at the way Stiles runs long fingers through his hair.

“Coffee?” Derek asks abruptly, turning to look at Laura. “There’s a fresh pot. Cora’s gone out on a last minute supply run - is, uh, Stiles staying?”

“I offered your wonderful hospitality until he can find a flight to take him home,” Laura says, following him back into the kitchen and leaving Stiles in the hall. “I know you have the space, and it seemed a shame to leave him stranded. Nobody should be alone on Christmas.”

lube and determination by bleep0bleep (4,873 | 1/1 | E)

It's a holiday classic: homesick boy wants to make a pumpkin pie while studying abroad, boy realizes the only place to find vegetable shortening is a sex shop, and boy makes fool of himself in front of other boy.

Last Christmas (I gave you my heart) by jadore_hale (4,532 | 1/1 | T)

“W-what is this?” Derek couldn’t even begin to get his mind around this current situation.

“My Christmas gift to you, nephew.”

Peter pushed the guy towards him, and Derek hastened to catch him before he fell face first on the floor.

“I’d like you to meet your soul mate.”

Don't Call Me Buttercup by ElloPoppet (15,830 | 1/1 | T)

Isaac wants to do Secret Santa. Derek is bad at gifts. Stiles helps, and also practices making Derek uncomfortable with awful, cutesy pet names along the way.

Derek secretly loves the pet names. Oh, and he loves Stiles as well.

Well, I hope you guys enjoy some of my all time favorite holiday fics and that maybe you find a new favorite of your own! Thank you for your love and patience while I try to figure everything out with the tags. You guys are truly the best and I wouldn’t be here without you. 

I wish you the best for this hectic time of year and that maybe these fics can keep you occupied from crazy family members. 

Happy Holidays and best wishes for the new year,

Jeep

[friendocheaven]

Picnic Ask

Ask and ye shall recieve @theaxolotleastofthesun it’s long af tho, so it’s under the cut.

 1.       Where and When is the picnic happening? (Gonna take this as ideal location and season basically)

a.       Milo: Prefers someplace a bit south—warmer than the northern parts of the Eye. Summer in Sun Elf territory would be nice. Not south enough to get jungle-y and humid (Glim can take heat, but draws the line at humidity), but someplace he could retreat to the blessed relief offered by the shade of a scrubby tree and have a good excuse to eat his favorite spicy foods and sweat to cool down.

b.      Glim: as stated above, he doesn’t do well in high humidity. Also not the biggest fan of excessive heat, but will put up with it for Milo’s sake. Were it up to him though, he would prefer an autumn picnic in a cozy shady glen under a still-full canopy of rich reds and violets and sunny yellows. A sigh of crisp wind carrying with it the first hint of winter.

c.       Remmi: Love’s spring, especially when it’s still early. They love the way the fruit trees look while still flowering and the cool, but warming, breeze. They would most enjoy something near water, but with plush green grass still under foot. The Northern Reservoir is well tended, with bright, blossoming bushes hedging cobbled pathways. The surrounding park stretches most of the way ‘round. Remmi would most like a quiet day at the eastern edge—farthest away from the great roaring falls that lead into the canyon. Bonus if there are frogs.

d.      Hani: Loves the dead heat of summer; the feel of warm sun on his skin. A midsummer, late afternoon picnic after a day of splashing around the Southern Sea would be heaven. Sure, the food might get a little sandy, but it wouldn’t stop him from eating and enjoying every second.

2.       What food and drinks do your OCs bring? (you fool! You’re enabling me to indulge my fascination with food culture!)

a.       Milo: Goes all out on the spice—picnic with him at your own peril. He packs extra-hot kimchi, seasoned roasted garlic cloves, Zevi’s falafel recipe, and a few other side dishes that reflect his upbringing by a Southern Dwarf familiar with Halfling food culture. He also gets pretty excited with drinks, bringing three; an iced ginger tea made with turmeric and black pepper, buttercup and honey hwachae (most non-halflings just call it wine even though it’s usually not alcoholic) because he’s (not so) secretly pretty sappy and sentimental, and Baekse-ju to finish off with a good pair for spicy food and just a touch of alcohol.

b.      Glim: Settles for light, seasonal snack foods. He brings a bunch of fresh cut in-season fruit like apples (that yes, he does cut the skins to look like bunnies like his mother used to), a couple loaves of bara brith made with ground dried fruits and nuts served with butter, and a whole basket of pic ar y maen (cookies with raisins and currants mixed in). He brings spiced virgin cider and a fine local white wine to wash it down.

c.       Remmi: As a professional baker, they refused to bring anything but their best to their picnic. They pick finger-food pastries—the best from their eclectic cooking experience and travels. Beignets topped with honey and powdered sugar—in a basket enchanted to keep them fresh and hot and crisp because they take pride in their work. An impressive assortment of petit fors lined up and packed tightly in another container. Muffuletta finger sandwiches with toothpicks holding them together for the more savory inclined guests. And finally some cranberry pastila which they hadn’t made in years and was their way of flexing their baker’s muscles. They pack a thermos of milk tea and an iced chocolate drink.

d.      Hani: not a big cook. He was hoping Senya would do most of the cooking. It’s not like he’s particularly picky about what he ingests. To be polite though, he brings a crock of bamia—a stew with lamb, okra, tomatoes, and onion—that his mother would make on special occasions. He also brings an impressive array of drinks; sugar cane juice, carob juice, tamarind juice, and iced coffee.

3.       What are your OC’s wearing to the picnic?

a.       Milo: Largely his usual sort of outfit. A sleeveless turtleneck, cargo capris, and combat boots. He does add a lightweight cotton shawl embroidered with geese in shades of red that he got as a wedding gift from Lian. He wears it to avoid sunburn, but once in the shade and eating, he carefully folds it and sets it aside so it doesn’t get dirty.

b.      Glim: A cream colored tunic and brown tasseled cardigan over dark blue leggings, simple but sleek black ankle boots, and finished off with a simple sapphire teardrop pendant on a gold chain.

c.       Remmi: they opt for something simple and comfortable, but fitting for the season. They wear a yellow wide-band tank top under an oversized baby pink cable knit sweater. The sweater is so big it slouches off one shoulder, reaches their knees, and the sleeves hide their hands if they aren’t scrunched up at the elbow. They pair that with slim, washed out jeans, and a pair of tan slouchy boots. As one final touch, they don cherry blossom studs in their ears.

d.      Hani: he goes for something sporty and comfy. A loose and flowy off-white sleeveless crop top over a pair of baggy gray-blue shorts held round his hips by a broad and colorful sash and a pair of greek sandals that he discards almost immediately. To add a touch of class—after all this is a fun outing so why not—he wears golden arm bands just above each bicep. Those stay on longer, but they, too, eventually get unceremoniously dumped into the picnic basket in favor of total comfort.

4.       Which OC brings a musical instrument to idly play?

a.       Surprisingly enough, Hani. Remmi knows a little piano and harp, but those aren’t exactly available at a picnic. Milo has never learned an instrument (though he finds guitar interesting). And Glim tried playing, but sucked at just about everything; and anything he could play he couldn’t play in front of others. Hani, on the other hand, randomly knows how to play—and is good at—the oud (which is like an Arab lute). And yes, he does attempt to play Wonderwall on it.

5.       How quickly does your OC realize there are ants trying to sneak into their food? What do they do about it?

a.       Milo: He’s very perceptive, so it doesn’t take long for him to notice. He proceeds to squish them then mix them into his food for “extra protein” without hesitation. Despite knowing that Milo was raised eating bugs and still does fairly regularly, everyone still looks at him like he’s gone insane.

b.      Glim: He picks up on it when someone else points it out. It’s only then that he realizes that he forgot to activate the insect repellent rune. He curses under his breath and apologizes before quickly moving the picnic supplies a few meters away and activating it then.

c.       Remmi: They spend the whole picnic low-key looking out for this. Whenever bugs start walking toward or flying around their precious gourmet picnic, they nonchalantly close all the containers up tight then swat them all away without breaking the conversation.

d.      Hani: he doesn’t notice until one of the ants bites his tongue as he’s eating. He spits that one out because it was mean, but all subsequent ones he eats. And unlike Milo, Hani doesn’t mix them into anything, he just pops them into his mouth.

6.       Which OC hides under the shade at first before being convinced to come out into the sun? How do they react?

a.       Glim hates the heat. If you can manage to convince him to leave the tranquility of shade, he will be a drama queen about it. Really laying it on thick and moaning about how “the sun is a white hot laser” against his “poor fragile flesh” and that if he continues on he will surely “burn up, dry out, and die!” and other such dramatic nonsense. He gets weirdly poetic when he’s frustrated or cranky. Needless to say, Milo has ceased pushing the issue.

7.       Imagine your OCs spending their time picking nearby wildflowers and watching the butterflies and bees at work.

a.       Milo foregoes this particular activity, choosing this time instead to just take in the scenery. He’s scared he might upset a hive or get stung or bitten by something so he’d rather just sit back and soak up the atmosphere.

b.      Glim is carefully rooting around for four leaf clovers under a subdued parasol.

c.       Remmi carefully plucks and cuts an armful of flowers and stems so they can make colorful flower crowns for everyone.

d.      Hani chases the bugs and small animals, not unlike a dog would. But he’s having fun so it’s fine.

8.       Which OC foregoes a picnic blanket and sits directly on the ground? Are they concerned by the grass stains on their clothes afterwards?

a.       Hani doesn’t care where he plants his butt and cares almost as little about stains.

9.       Which OC brings a chair because they can’t stand the thought of sitting on the ground?

a.       Remmi, but a lot of it is because they don’t want to risk getting their clothes too dirty and also because the ground is never as soft and even as you think or hope. So sitting on the ground, even on a blanket, hurts their butt.

10.   Imagine your OCs falling asleep after eating their food, content and happy.

a.       Milo is one of the first to nod off and lays down in the shade. He kicks his shoes off and lets the sun warm his feet while the shade keeps his face cool. He wakes up to groggily help pack everything back up.

b.      Glim doesn’t actually fall asleep. He just sort of zones out while playing with Milo’s hair and enjoying the breeze.

c.       After loading up on carbs, Remmi dozes off in their chair and wake up with a tender sunburn spread across their nose and cheeks. They vow to never fall asleep in the sun like that again, but they make the same mistake next time.

d.      Hanni has seemingly boundless energy throughout the day, which is a bit unusual for him as he often naps a lot when the sun is out, but is wired by the time the moon replaces it. As soon as they’ve packed everything up and are headed home, though, the excitement wears off and he crashes hard. He’s asleep the whole way back.