#gonna go kms now dont mind me

[nonbinarylesbianherb]

Adolescence didn’t make sense

a little loss of innocence

the ugliness of being a fool

ain’t youth meant to be beautiful?

[lovecrazedpup]

just had one of the worst cries of my life i think

[trannykong]

This is the least depressed I have felt in years

[qraceiuv]

hii can you do singer!reader x jude (ik you’ve done it recently so i understand if you don’t want to 😞) and can the faceclaim be tyla? idk if you let anons choose faceclaims anyways thank uuu!!!! also remember to eat and stay hydrated 🫶🏽🫶🏽 love u

water. jude bellingham.

summary — your new song causes the fans to want more and more content from jude and yours relationship

notes — tysm for this request! love u more bb, i literally had tyla in mind for a new blurb, and getting this made it perfect

warnings — inappropriate jokes? idk + mentions of throw up and such - js some cute lil fluff as usual

_________________________________________

y/nsusername

y/nsusername: 'water' out this friday🩵🐆

—

username: OMGOMGOMG

username: THIS IS SO UNEXPECTED

username: totally not breaking down

username: i need to wife her

username: WHATWHATATWNAN

username: WATER??😭

yourfriend: HOT HOT MEOWWW

— y/nsusername: oh thats

username: her and jude r dating right

— username: yeah it was confirmed like 3 months ago but they dont post much of each other

— username: maybe the singles abt him

— username: I HOPEEE

y/nsusername

y/nsusername: make me lose my breath, make me water 🪩🪞🐆💦

—

username: IM GLING INSANE

username: WTF

username: omg im so proud of her

username: SHES COME SO FAR CRYING

— y/nsusername: 🥹🥹🥹

username: AH AH AHHHH

username: im actually so happy for her

yourfriend: JIMMY FUCKING FALLON

— y/nsusername: JIMMY FUCKING FALLON

username: STREAM WATER BY Y/N

username: MAKE ME SWEATTTT

— username: MAKE ME HOTTERRRR

username: on repeat

username: oh shes gonna eat

judebellingham: 💦💦💦

— y/nsusername: delete immediately

— username: HELP?

username: JUDE IM CRYING

username: judes comment has made my year

username: finally y/njude content (its horrible)

y/nsusername

y/nsusername: tour so far... i love you lovely people and the many helping hands behind the scenes <3

—

username: see you in a week!!

username: i need to go

username: shes thriving

username: getting the hype she deserves

judebellingham: omg you love me?

— y/nsusername: no !

— judebellingham: guess ill turn the plane around

— y/nsusername: HEY.

username: HES ON A PLANE TO SEE HER😭😭

username: GUYS R WE GONNA FINALLY GET SOME Y/NJUDE LORE

username: i love them (we barely know them)

judebellingham

judebellingham: to be proud of my girl is an understatement 🩵🩵

—

username: okay ill cry

username: y/n love club

username: shouldve put 💦💦💦

— y/nsusername: agreed

y/nsusername: 💦💦💦

— jude bellingham: i hate you now.

— y/nsusername: payback

username: adoption papers wya

username: hard launch a lil too late

y/nsusername: i love you

y/nsusername

y/nsusername: my man finally took me out

—

username: KMS KMS KMS

username: FINALLY WE GETTING SOME SHIT

username: make me sweattt... sorry

— username: MAKE ME HOTTERRR

— username: everyone thank jude for this sexy song

yourfriend: i could treat u better

— y/nsusername: i know i know

judebellingham: im gonna do it

— y/nsusername: dont.

— judebellingham: 💦💦💦

username: JUDES COMMENT😭😭

username: theyre actually so cute

username: the banter >>>

username: my man is whipped

y/nsusername

y/nusername: 2M weekly streams on water... kisses 🐆💋

—

username: MAKE ME WATERRRD

username: YESSS

username: literally so deserved

username: im so proud lemme cry

username: MY BABY

username: WE LOVE YOU

username: STFU OMG

username: nobody deserves it more

judebellingham: my popstar

— y/nsusername: my starboy

judebellingham: so proud of you baby

username: BABY?!?!

username: im on the floor rn

username: jude is too lucky

username: im throwing up cuz of them

_________________________________________

[mqonlighting]

yeah i lied. missing her real bad rn so im touching on it in tags again! if u saw this heres an update if u didnt then do not read it!

will be burying this again after

real talk in the tags for a second because i have a crush on a girl and i. a hehe. ahehehe.

will be burying this in reblogs and never touching on it again

[madebyteenagefury]

unfiltered first reactions to gpi as if i were livetweeting because i think it would be funny (spoilers below!!):

are these 12 year olds or do they just talk like that.

can i touch it, dawg WHAT

dont even know their names but i already love em and only want happiness for them (may be because they strike me as children) (update they were children)

why did bro bite his hand

WHERES THE OTHER BED GOING. NO. HOSPITAL?? NO!! NOT AGAIN :SOB:

i need subtitles oh my god,,,ADULTS NOW!! i see. doug. theyre in suits and he has a bandage yall boutta kiss rn?? OHHH FUCK ohhh oh man. boutta be so fucking sick over doug aw shit

"his name is assface!" oh babe.

"you know." oh BABE. oh fuck.

think about what all the time???????????????? THINK ABOUT WHAT??????????

this is so 'are they lovers' 'worse' and nothings even happened but so much has happened.

ooooh five years

corey. THEY KISSED(before)!!! FUCK!!! MISSING TOOTH!!!

this hurts ohmy god. screaming. theyre gone.

two beds again?? are we flitting between times. 13 ahh yes we are oh i love this so much. what if i hit corey with the autism beam. what then. doug is so me im gonna lose my mind. like when theyre kids. auughh

DO YOU WANNA PRACTICE KISSING?/ SAWG???god thats the gayest shit ever. everyone who says that never means it casually change my goddamn mind YOU CANT/lh doug fucking w first kiss logic is hilarious yes king.

oh my god hes throwing up. DOUG NOO AHAHAH. fellas is it gay to throw up in the same can after kissing.

augh one bed again OUGH HOSPRIALo ohh no. 28. dont do this to me. not after falsettos.

hey again! hes not responding. kms. NOO IS HE IN A COMA OH FUCK

"im trying not to swear so much" giggled

"her"?? dawg no way THEY HAVENT SEEN EACHOTHER SINCE HIS EYE??? oh fuck me man. babe stop saying rtrded please. hes moisturizing his fucking hand oh. MY GOD.

you cant marry her cuz what about me?? SAY YOU LOVE HIM ALREADY FUCK

OOO TWO BEDS. THEYRE CLOSER!!!! ONE BLANKET!! OOOOO!!

18 fuckin called it. 10 yrs ago. thin mints slap hes so real for that. the knocking on his cup shouldnt have tbeen that funny. giggled. okay theyre so besties but like this is so gay. bestie behavior but. they love eachother. (doug is mad about not knowing that corey's been having sex, which like id be upset if my bestie didnt tell me too i get it but correct me if im wrong, this feels insanely jealous

"cuz youre too youung!" YOURE FUCKING EIGHTEEN???

im so sick over doug HES SO ME FUCK ok fuck.

im so. insane. fuck. "whys everyone gotta be so mean?"

"youre not a faggot. youre not" ohhh ow. oh oh my god

okau so when he says :you have blood on your jeans. when did you start [that]: i cant make out what he says or what theyre talking about im assuming its sh??? if so?? fucking ow kill me??????

timing of me watching this. fucking wild. did not want to cry tn (im not but were dangerously close to it)

I CAN NOT FUCKING DO THIS OH GOD

milo when i get you. milo when i fucking. get you./lh

"youre the best thing thats ever happened to me" after THAT?? FUCK ME MAN WHAT THE HELL

he better be fucking awake or i swear to god.

33 OH FUCK MANHES HAWAKE HES AWAKE OH FUCK OH THANK GOD. FIVE YEARS AGO/?? COREY VISTED HIM FIVE YEARS AGO. is he in a mental hospital?? oh boy. these boys are fucked up.

theyre fucking soulmates. i will NOT be taking criticism. WHY ARE YOU LYING YOU BEGGED HIM TO WAKE UP ASSHOLE. doug makes me want to hold my own heart in my hands and feel it beat. dawg why u lying.why is corey mean to him :(

ohh parallels. oh they. hurt. differenty. but the same. ohhhh my god

"because i might not make it back"

if one of them fucking dies. i stg. 23 10 yrs back. wait this is the first bit again/? WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR TOOTH. DUDE. OH FUCK.

criyng at dougs speech after the kiss.

oh fuck OFF. only the poster wtf

i need the playlist they got. 38,,,

i went "hes fucking dead isnt he" and he rolls in. "im gonnakms"

"dont touch me corey" sobbing.

pleading with my screen for it not to end like that and its over.

milo. oh my fucking god

[idkwhatever580]

Agatha All Along Commentary

⚠️WARNING⚠️ AGATHA ALL ALONG 1x6 SPOILERS AHEAD

you’ve been warned

Im late again guys 😣 alright. Here goes nothing. I’m seriously considering taking my anxiety meds before these episodes because atp that might help.

Started watching at 3:00 pm

I stg I stg I stg I stg if this turns out bad I’m gonna throw up. And that says a lot considering I have emetophobia

Ooh fancy he’s Jewish

I’m not familiar with the Jewish religion but seems pretty cool.

Okay so we have established that this is Billy Kaplan which idk how y’all dug so deep to figure it out but I guess it was common knowledge and I do not have common knowledge so it adds up

Ooh now there’s a party funnn lol

I wish I had parents that were proud of me

Lmaooooo “you’re both disgusting” is so fucking real

4:25

ARIANA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE???

She’s kinda hot guys. I have daddy issues but I’m a lesbian lmaoooo

5:14

WTFFFF I CANT DO THIS SHIT I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT IT MEANS BUT SHES TOTALLY LYING TO HIM IN THIS

5:42

wtf does the tower reversed mean bitch

6:14

Hearing her say baby is so fucking hot I’m gonna nut everywhere

Oh lord guys I seriously have problems… but don’t say you weren’t thinking it too 😏

6:51

WTF IS THAT THING A PROTECTION SPELL OR WHAT?!?!

DID SHE PLACE THE SIGIL?!?!

Omg if she placed the sigil on him that would be insane

7:46

If y’all out there with the theories about Billy maximoff’s soul taking over Billy kaplan’s body im kms because that’s so valid

——id like to let y’all know that I know nothing about the marvel comics and I do not intend on learning or digging that deep kk? I also don’t know what Wiccan is but I guess it’s Billy maximoff? Not looking for someone to explain it tho lol——

IM SCARED J DONT WANNA SEE MY BABY

NO WANDA NO WANDA I DIDNT NEED TO HEAR HER VOICE

8:34

Holy shit.

8:39

Watching it disappear is so sad. Like I know she’s hurting and saving the rest of them

9:00

OH MY GOD THE PARENTS STAYED ALIVE I THOUGHT YALL SAID THEY ALL DIED OR LIKE TWO DEATHS

9:33

NO FUCKING WAY THIS SHIT IS ACTUALLY TRUE

Y’all playing too hard

9:52

No fucking way. I’m actually so done right now. I’m so fucking done I need to scream at someone and it needs to be the fucking producer

10:15

That must be so fucking scary to go to “sleep” as Billy Maximoff and wake up in someone else’s body. Like in Disney shows when they switch and shit they have a moment where they look in the mirror and scream but this is def more realistic

Also I thought someone said there were two deaths. I don’t see no dead people up in this bitch

10:55

wtf is this?? inside out?

11:06

Noooohohohoooooo I forgot that Billy M can mind read and shit

12:33

That dog knows

Why is it always the dog that knows?

13:44

Having to call her mom must have sucked balls

15:22

Damn he already trying to fit the part bro. Moving on too damn fast

Him and his mom with the lying bro ✋🙄

Stop I sound like Agatha 😭

16:02

SHE DID PLACE THE SIGIL ON HIM WTFFFF

16:26

Okay I see you little emo gay kid having more piercings than me and having kissed more people than me and I’m older than you 🙄

17:26

Damn that’s crazy. He actually is telling this dude his shit

18:40

Damn that’s so fucking crazy his smile is creeping me out bro

Also I totally knew little Billy M was meant to be a little gay baby

19:24

Damnit all of these hoes have connection with him. Of some kind

19:57

You found a guy on Reddit. And you’re meeting him? That sounds like you’re getting killed.

OMG WHO IS IT TELL ME WHO IT IS

ITS RALPH NO ITS RALPH POOR RANDALL SORRY RANDALL ITS JUST WE KNOW YOU AS RALPH

21:06

Damn he went kinda crazy from being with Agatha all that time huh? That means the only one that can handle her is rioooooo

21:42

Don’t take my wife’s name in vain hoe

lol I’m kidding

I also apparently have multiple wives

Lmaoooo please ask about Agatha harkness

24:06

YOU FUCKING MURDERED SPARKY I WILL NEVER EVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS I DONT CARE IF SHE MADE YOU DO THAT SHIT I HATE YOU

24:19

Omg I can’t do this shit

Does this mean that Tommy is also in someone’s body?

25:27

I seriously do wanna know what kind of crazy that lady eats for breakfast. And I hope it’s me 😏

26:24

Yeaaaahhhh this song eats me up.

27:20

HOHOHOHHHHH THAT PICTURE IS THE IMAGE OF A FA- a gay woman. A gay witchy woman…. 👀

27:36

OH YEAH THEY BROUGHT MY GIRL DOLLY INTO IT

DOLLY PARTON FOR PRESIDENT 2024

Ahem… excuse my political views ✋😭

28:20

Omg omg omg he’s going on the road to find Tommy I’m gonna cryyyyy

29:43

Oh he’s so emo with his eyeliner and his black heart boyfriend and his belt chain and his witchy witchyness

…okay maybe im jealous

29:55

Ugh mommy. They’re both so hot. I know we only see Agatha in this part but I’ll nut to the thought of Aubrey Plaza

30:06

You’re seriously using a fucking house lamp you idiot ✋😭

30:29

You tell me to stop I’ll do it mommy

OH LAWD I HAVE ISSUES

I have to shit bro 😭

31:07

Hooligan is so fucking funny 😭

31:33

Guys I’m nutting everywhere from her sitting like that she’s soooo gayyyyyy

The producer really said “gay” and Kathryn Hahn said “yes”

32:16

I think if I was in that situation as teen, I’d say I want to. I want to poke that damn bear and see if she’ll throw me on the desk and- oh. Right right. Not the point ✋😭😏

I ALSO JUST REALIZED THAT SHE IS WEARING A SHIRT THAT IS RALPHS RANDALLS? Idk anymore bro

32:59

Wait… this is so fucking funny bro 😭😭😭

33:45

OMG SHES LIKE IN THE INTERROGATION TABLE AND ITS ACTUALLY HER HOUSE BRO

I NEVER MADE THAT CONNECTION 😭😭😭

34:21

HOT HOOOTTTTT SHES SO HOT RIPPING THAT TAPE IS SO HOT

34:28

THATS SO FUCKING FUNNY BRO

34:46

Hold on these side swipe things are going too fast I’m so lost. 😭 I hate having a horrible memory that makes me not be able to remember every single detail when we’re going back to something from a different pov

35:10

STFU SHE COULDNT HEAR EITHER TIME AND BOTH TIMES HE SAID SOMETHING DIFFERENT I WONDER WHAT HE SAID ON THE ROAD WITH THE OTHER WITCHES

35:19

YEEESSSSS IM SK GLAD WERE BACK TO THE ROAD

35:28

Yes! Pull yourself out of that mystery goop!!!

36:11

FUCK YOU BITCH FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU DONT BREAK THE SIGIL PIECE FUCK YOU

37:53

Wait. I am so gullible I like her being nice bro ✋😭

38:00

COVERED IN MYSTERIOUS ROAD GOOP OR NOT THAT POSE IS FUCKIGN HOT

38:09

I can’t tell if she’s crying because she’s happy the SIGIL is broken and she’s right or if she’s crying because she actually liked the kid

38:33

FUCK SHES BEING EVIL AGAIN I NEED A GOOD AGATHA AND I KNOW IM NOT GETTING THAT BUT A GIRL CAN DREAM

38:45

I’ll kill someone for you Agatha

39:05

Wait when she’s like don’t feel guilty about your talent I feel like she’s trying to be evil but it’s kind of endearing. Like. Shes so strong about it which means so many witches have felt guilty about their talents before and she doesn’t want that to hinder him. Even if she is evil that’s pretty sweet.

39:53

OH FUCK YOU BITCH KYS KYS HAHA THATS WHY YOU CANT USE YOUR POWERS BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO BE GOOD GOOD NOT DECENT GOOD

40:43

Stfu Agatha. Don’t mess with our bitch.

Robo papa? BAHAHAHAHAHAAA

she knowsssss

41:34

BAHAHAHHAAHAAAAA

42:02

“Got it” not her being serious for once ✋😭

42:25

DONT I KNOW IT BITCH YOU DIDNT HAVE TO TELL ME IM WATXHING YOU LITTLE MAXIMOFF BITCH

Post watching notes:

I seriously needed some Agathario shit and I didn’t get that and I’m mad. IM SO MAD THAT THE INTIMACY COORDINATOR WAS FOR TEO LITTLE BOYS I NEEDED MY MIDDLE AGE WOMEN TO MAKE TF OUT THEY ARE TEASING ME 😖😖😖

[danthepillerman]

im bored and since im bored ima write some stupid shit involving..you guessed it (probably not stfu) Suguru Geto and his boyfriend Satoru Gojo!!! wooo (kms) this is like collage au ig? idfk dont question me

“AHEM” suguru cleared his throat glaring at a certain white haired blue eyed man who was sneaking around his room. Gojo looked behind his shoulder, his cheeks stuffed with some of sugurus sour gummy worms. with a sigh he pinches the bridge of his nose “my god satoru, youre like a child” suguru himself is trying his hardest not to laugh at his best friend. satoru swallows the gummy worms and laughs “cheer up man, ill buy you some when we head out” they planned to go to a park. suguru just nods and puts a sweater on.

after suguru gets ready he signals to satoru it was time to go. as they walked satoru talked about anything and everything on his mind, the weather, grass, how he feels about fuzzy textured blanket (spoiler he hates them). the whole time suguru listened, laughing and making some comments of his own. thats just how they were. one talked the other listened and they were both okay with that fact. “it feels weird on my skin! maybe i just have sensitive skin, honestly i dont care its WEIRD!!” satoru says frantically as suguru laughs “its not that seri-“ “YES IT IS!! nerds like you wouldnt understand” satoru said trying to sound like an edgy emo kid that tells people they wouldnt understand. suguru chuckles and takes a bite of his sour gummy worms.

“you know, there are blankets that are soft and not fuzzy?” the black hair boy says to his friend. satoru sighs “yeah i know, but buying a whole new blanket when i already have one is pointless.” suguru nods with his friends good point. they make their way to the swingings, the sun still bright is the sky. satoru immediately tries to get as high as possible while suguru watches swinging the slightest bit. “youre gonna get sick” he says as satoru gets higher and higher “SHUT UP!” he shouts back. suguru sighs and watches as his best friend attempts a 360. it was an interesting thing to watch, but obviously he fails and ends up jumping off and landing in the sand laughing, suguru just watching with a gentle smile

after satoru jumped a family looked over at him a little concerned and walked away with their kids quickly “dude the people here are gonna think youre crazy” suguru states now laughing a little “nuhuh” satoru sits up and shakes the sand out his white hair then grabs his sunglasses, blowing some sand off that.

satoru and suguru lay on top of the actual play area, the roof sheltering the slides and what not. two 6 foot something dudes on top of a play ground is slightly frightening to some children. as they lay there looking up at the now pink ish sky satoru speaks up “what if you were a cloud” he was kinda just spit balling “a cloud?” suguru questions a bit confused. satoru however nods “yeah, like if you were a cloud and you could pick your shape what would you pick?” it takes suguru a second but he closes his eyes and with a sigh he responds “your mom” “fuck youuu” they both laugh. “okay but if i could pick a shape id probably pick something simple like a duck” he says to the white haired boy. satoru nods with a hum

the sun sets and the sky darkens slowly, the dim light of the moon and street lamps brighten up the park. suguru looks at his best friend then back at the stars. “im cold” satoru blurts out of no where, suguru looks at him and asks him “wanna head back?” satoru nods with a slight yawn. they jump down and land in the sand, walking out the play ground and to the side walk. satoru looks over at his friend and put his arm around his shoulder “dont be scared pookie bear, daddies here” suguru turns to satoru a bit mortified by his last statement and they both burst out laughing.

“why cant i be daddy?” suguru says, he immediately regrets it though “you want me to call you daddy? you got sum to tell me mister man bun?” suguru rolls his eyes and shoves satoru away all the while hes laughings. they continue their walk and satoru is talking about his fear of women. maybe he really was gay..was shoko right? who knew.

they get back to campus and made their way to the apartment complex right behind it. they shared an apartment two bedroom and one bathroom, real nice. before entering the take off their shoes and shake em on the grass to get out any sand. they go inside and immediately satorus dramatic ass falls onto the couch with a loud sigh “ass up” suguru says playfully and they both laugh “see im telling you dude you MIGHT just have a daddy kink!” satoru retorts. with an eye roll suguru throws a small baggy to satoru “happy valentines day or whatever day today is” and with that suguru went into his room, his face pink.

satoru raised a brow and looked at the small baggy inside was two things, an obsidian bracelet to match with sugurus moon stone bracelet, and a note.

‘hey so you know how some friends go one dates for valentines day cause theyre both lonely or whatever. would you be down to do that with me? -geto’

[froggieetmblr]

Nothing is more embarrassing than showing your friend something and then get a fake enthusiasm in response like okay thank you for at least trying not to make me feel bad i guess, im gonna go kms now if you dont mind

[noeasyisnoisy]

spoilers for tbb season 3 below the cut!!

ep 1:

OH MY GOD CROSSHAIR AND OMEGA LOOK SO SAD

OMEGA ADDING A TALLY KMS

the lola bunny made of hay AHHHDGEH

nala se sounded so weak omg

BATCHER.

ep 2:

THE CADETS.

hunter and wrecker’s armor :((

concerned dad hunter breaks my heart HES SO DESPERATE AND IT HURTS

the VINES HELLO???? they were so cool but it’s terrifying to think of what the empire is doing

the vines were kinda like a hive mind in a way which was SO COOL

the way i was so mad when the cadets were gonna take the marauder

ITS OKAY THO BC THEY DID THE RIGHT THING IN THE END

ep 3:

THE EMPEROR?????????????????

HOLY SHIT

CROSSHAIRS HAND WHAT OH MY GOD

my first thought when omega was like “we can steal the emperor’s ship!” was “honey no”

WHEN THE COMS ON THE CRASHED SHIP DIDNT WORK OMFG I WAS READY TO KMS

”tech made me memorize all of the plans” “of course he did” I STARTED BAWLING.

YAY THEY ESCAPED NOW GIVE US A REUNION PLEASE I BEG YOU

overall i cried at least 10 times during this and also WAS THAT TECH??? OR THE GUY EVERYONE IS SAY IS TECH???? I DONT REMEMBER IF IT WAS EPISODE 1 OR 3 BUT I SAW HIM. IM GOING INSANE I NEED THE NEXT EPISODES NOW AAHRHFHFJGJ

[baby-xemnas]

hehehehehe teened agers lawbepo..

weheheheh they shared a room... i know its POSSIBLE that penshachi slept there too but there was no mention of them in the nightmare scene so i choose to think they had their own

:))))))))))))))

what are you gonna kiss for the first time in YOUR room

i kinda love there was zero garchu mention implying bepo was super solid on respecting human boundaries..meaning law would be the one to get in his personal space

eehheheee ohhhh law would probably want to pet bepo super badly...imagine seeing someone so fluffy EVERY DAY and not touching him??? crazy he is gonna go crazy

imagining that penguin and shachi broke that boundary first cuz they are so boys will be boys so they ruffle bepos head and he picks them up (in a bear hug hehe hoho) when hes (light heartedly ofc) irritated by them

law being a weird nerd would take weeks to prepare for it mentally steeling himself to then put a hand on bepo's fur and let it linger there (bepo freezing up) making a lil scratchy motion and bepo would make a small noise

law taking his hand away: ah. sorry. your fur is very nice

bepo in a weak and whiny voice despite himself but he wants law's hand back on him immediately. he's dying: t-thanks

law is gonna spend several more days mulling over how much he enjoyed seeing bepo's cute reaction

TOTALLY NORMAL TO FIND YOUR HOMIE CUTE RIGHT. RIGHT????? HE HAS AN APPEARANCE OF A POLAR BEAR BEARS ARE CUTE /imagines a bear and feels nothing/ No. ITS NORMAL. HES BEING NORMAL ABOUT HIS BEST FRIEND.

i said earlier that i like that garchuing wasnt mentioned but imagining now bepo starting the conversation because uh...you know in my culture..ah sorry nevermind its nothing

law: go on (SPILL IT OUT NOW I HAVE TO KNOW WHAT GOT YOU SO NERVOUS IT SOUNDED VERY IMPORTANT)

bepo explaining what garchu is - its very embarassing to ask this of law san! but law san being so important to him is WHY he wants to ask for it so badly....but he is being so demanding! bepo voice: nvm sorry i will go kms.

law surprising himself how natural the answer that it'd be fine came out. he opens his arms and bepo's reaction is so worth it. he looks overwhelmed with happiness as he embraces law (mindful of his weight not to crush him hes still trying to hold back. he would want to leap at him!!! he is so happy!! law san is so special!!!

law hugging him back, processing how he feels about it (its great but he is so not used to it. last person that hugged him was his mother so many years ago he almost forgot what it feels like. this is SO NOT LIKE HIS MOTHER THOUGH. law feeling that comparison is very inappropriate and dirty. WHY IS HE FEELING THAT?? maybe because bepo's whispers of his name as he nuzzles his shoulder is...something. something very different.

some time later at night law asking if bepo is asleep and hes groggy but says no...is garchu something you do with your family or- bepo: family and friends yes! law san to me is different law san is very special! law: huh... bepo: what do humans do with people special to them? law (LIE 100% SUCCESS): i dont..really know...but we hug its similar to garchu bepo: OH NICE :D GOODNIGHT LAW SAN law: goodnight /wide awake now thinking about if he wants to kiss bepo or not. yes he does/

[woneuntonzz]

torn and folded .ᐟ (2/2)

📞 ; “respectfully, you're disgusting.” | 💿 part 1...

𖹭 : bully!seunghan x bl reader, amab!reader

💭 you loved your free time in manga reading websites, not him though, he thinks you need your senses sorted out for you, and so he would...

⤷ contains: mlm pairing (this is pure fiction and is in no way

made to assume the idol's sexuality!!), angst, bullying,

homophobia towards mc (i myself have struggled with), fluff,

humor (kys/kms jokes), mention of other idol names for world

building

⤷ wc: 11.2k!! (not proofread :3)

-ˋˏ under the cut .ᐟ ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

saxyguy1002

hey bunz

can i ask u a question

what do u do when u like someone?

bunz

why’d u even ask if you can ask me when you’re gonna ask either way

saxyguy1002

sorry

bunz

oh

well

idk either

saxyguy1002

do u like someone rn?

You sighed, deleting what you have previously typed: you.

bunz

yes

saxyguy1002

who is it? 👀

bunz

u don’t even know him

idk why ur even asking

saxyguy1002

ur right

so what

ur just out being a loser all day and not do anything about it?

You could only laugh silently at your screen. 

bunz

he hates me

saxyguy1002

ouch

sucks for u ig

bunz

kys lol

saxyguy1002

ur so sweet

dw u have me

fuck that guy

You rolled your eyes, you couldn’t believe you were smiling over everything despite the somber truth behind it all.

bunz

i thought ur not gay

saxyguy1002

that’s a conversation for another day

come on

tell me to kms

bunz

um, okay????

kys

saxyguy1002

something’s missing

bunz

AAAAAA HELLL

kys :3 (hope u dont wake up tomorrow)

saxyguy1002

i will :> (i have to wake up so i can actually kms)

You don’t think twice before shutting down your computer the second you’ve read his reply. Looking at the time, you had once again spent two hours of your night chatting. It’s crazy how far you’ve gone when it comes to talking, it would always be just about the games you’ve played, sometimes complaining to each other about school. It was him who’d start talking you into revealing more about yourself, and he’d do the same without even asking. That’s how you found out that he was definitely Seunghan. 

At first, his messages made sense for the guy you saw him to be in school, then he’d change, it’s very gradual but it’s there for your eyes. You’ve played the waiting game before, longer than anyone, you just hope waiting for him would amount to something. 

You’d spend your next days with Matthew tailing behind you, and like what you agreed upon, you two would read that manga you were currently reading, next to each other on your phone. Somehow he got you to feel comfortable enough to stay in the library with him instead of that desolate room. Of course, he’d ask you why you liked it there, and you’d tell him everything. Despite your attempts of flailing his attention towards the manga on your phone, he’d continue to ask you if you were fine with not being in your safe space. 

“I’m really okay.” he kept his eyes on you, as if urging you to keep talking. “For now at least.”

“You know, actually followed you there because I thought you were up to something bad —but I didn’t know it was you either since all I could see was your backside.” it was the first time he’d hear you laugh audibly, and he’d smile. 

If you were being honest, you felt like you still had to keep your guard up. He’s told you himself that he’s heard about you, probably seen you at your most piteous state. It just boggles your mind that him approaching you was purely arbitrary, and like others, he didn’t care much about you being bullied before. But you gave him the benefit of the doubt, he had a life of his own and he was most probably concentrated with what he had going on in it, after all, you were mere strangers to each other.

You quickly learned that you were only spared when you’re with him, but back in your class, you still suffered the same hell.

“Seunghan, why aren’t you responding at the group chat?”

Or maybe not quite the same. 

You vowed to yourself to never let your eyes wander around without care, but you felt so anxious, you could feel it at the back of your head. With some shameful guessing, you thought you might know whose eyes it is that pricked you. You braced yourself once you stood up from your seat, hearing the bell ring for the last time that day, it was tradition for them to push you around before going home.

And they did just that. You’d be on the floor hurrying to gather your belongings that were scattered on the floor, by chance —and because of your cluttered mind— you looked up to the door, and Seunghan would pass by. You caught his eyes looking right into yours for a very brief moment before he completely vanished from your sight. 

There was something about him that day, he didn’t walk up to you, he didn’t steal your phone and threw it around, he was just there. It was like back in middle school, you knew he could see you, but he chose to not give any of his attention. 

saxyguy1002

aaa sorry my play was ass

i can’t believe i’m bot frag

bunz

i was ass too

saxyguy1002

we’ll get it next time

ig it’s not a very great idea to play with a lot of things on ur mind

bunz

same

what is it for you anyways?

saxyguy1002

i’m gonna be 18 soon

technically i’d be an adult by then 

right? 

bunz

yeah?

why ask?

r u planning to commit felonies rn be fr

saxyguy1002

no

i just wanted to be 

away

from my parents

bunz

oh

what is it about this time?

saxyguy1002

i’m just tired of it all

they’re too controlling

and what for? lmaoooooooo

i feel like i’m gonna burst

i can’t even pursue my dreams because of them

talking abt “you’ll end up–” 

idc where i end up as long as it’s not with them

bunz

ykw

if ur confident enough that u can survive out there on your own

do it 

this is your one chance with life, do what you can to live it to the fullest

saxyguy1002

could’ve just said "YOLO and embrace your FOMO"

bunz

kill

your

self

saxyguy1002

i was totally just jk

just just kidding

enough abt me

you?

bunz

it’s the same thing pretty much

my dad would kill me if he found out

saxyguy1002

that ur gay?

nahh u have to escape 

i’ll help

bunz

that’s crazy tho

u dont even know where i’m at

saxyguy1002

oh but what if i do

bunz

then u can be a private investigator

or a psycho stalker

my saesang <33

saxyguy1002

bunz stan 😋

bunz

kys :3 (idk kinda hope u sleep w/o that shit in mind)

saxyguy1002

i will :> (thanks ik u want me fr)

The days that followed, you could see his messages reflecting through the way he behaved at school. He was no longer one you had to be careful around, still, he seemed to be just as indifferent towards you. There’d be moments where you’d catch his eyes, but in them was something you haven’t seen before —or more likely, in a while. You’d cross paths outside the classroom often, and seldom times he was in the library too, and you would try your best to see what he was doing without completely turning your head towards him. He just studied, by himself. 

It wasn’t a rare, once in a lifetime type of event, he was still quite the grade-conscious student because of his parents —he’s told you before— it’s just that he was always by himself. It should be for the best, getting away from those people, maybe he’d get his old self back, maybe you’d have him back in your life. The memories you shared then weighed more than anything else in your life, and even after everything he’s said and done to you, you would continue to carry it, still missing him behind the malignant persona he had created. 

In the meantime, you would have your usual routine with Matthew, and it immediately crossed your mind —if he had ever grown tired of these little hangouts, so you end up paying every little action, every little sound your consciousness, seeing if he was any different from the previous day. He’d never change, there was nothing that you could see, so you granted him your trust, even if it was hard giving it away again after a long while. 

“The guy is crazy, don’t you think? If he really loved the main character, why would he make him suffer through it?” —he was talking about the manga you two were reading. 

“I mean, it’s for the storyline.” you laughed at his sour face. “You read it anyway.”

It felt wonderful to let yourself breathe in every moment, not having to hold it to block off the torturous stench of your classmates’ perfumes. You hoped that this would last, at least until you had to graduate. He made school a bit more bearable for you.

However, with his absence, you’d shift back to your usual self, leery towards everything. You’d go back to that room, but it would not be the same as when you left it. 

You were that cautious boy all over again, taking light steps to the place that in your world, you owned, carrying most of what you could, even the items you knew you wouldn’t need. Your eyes scanned left to right, keeping your vision’s periphery clear for any threats, or anyone who could be following you.

When you got there, you stood outside of the room for a while. It wasn’t possible to peek without opening the door since the glass was blocked off by black tape —and it was probably there to keep students out. You convinced yourself that you had no reason to be nervous, it was your room, your sanctuary. You took a hold of the doorknob, very carefully turning it so that it makes very little sound. Every second that passed, you’d open it a little wider, and wider, until you could take a full view of the room. 

“Sorry.” you had turned your heel, ready to take speedy steps away from your comfort, but he who seconds ago was lax and seated, would rush towards you, grabbing your wrist and pulling you inside the room. 

He’d close the door, but you could only hear the sound it made, you couldn’t take your eyes off him, especially when he was that close. His eyes slowly made their way to yours, you could feel your heart racing, recalling the last time you were in his proximity. He felt you subtly trying to move yourself out of his grasp, so he’d release you from it, keeping his eyes on you. When he let go of your hand, you’d look around, feeling anxious about everything. You were thinking about what he was going to do next and what he was going to say. 

You’d withdraw yourself from where you stood, backing away because of his sudden movements —he had raised his hand with his palm facing the ceiling, holding it up in front of you as if he was asking for you to give him something. You were unsure of what he wanted, and he took notice of that, his other hand reaching for his nape. 

“I didn’t know you’d be back in here.” his voice was impossibly soft, you were sure you looked like you had seen a ghost. “This was so sudden, I know.”

It was like your body had a mind of its own, and you would shake your head without being fully aware, pulling on your own fingers as your eyes went all over his face. You could feel the heat creeping up your face, so you’d look away to the side. 

“I’m sorry.” he’d lower his hand at a painfully slow pace, still keeping his gaze at you, and soon his eyes were glossed, “For everything.”

That day wouldn’t be as bad as it’d usually be, even without Matthew’s presence. That day, old feelings would resurface, with much greater magnitude. That day, you held his hand again, and it was like the first time all over again, where you gave it your all to not give off how jumpy your heart got. The two of you were just in that room, till the last bell sounded. You were sitting on the floor against the wall near the door, and your hands would remain entwined. You were so close to each other, like how you used to be, like those times under that big tree at that old park. His hands would move towards your head again, but this time it wouldn’t be to get rid of a leaf that landed on your hair, he’d lead your head on his shoulder, and his grip on your hand would be a little tighter, but somehow still gentle. You waited for him to talk, but he didn’t utter another word. All you could hear was his breathing, that at some point would falter when you moved after hearing the bell. 

“We should go back.” your voice was as quiet as the wind, yet he felt like he’d melt from it. 

“We could.” he’d let his tongue swipe against his top lip before he spoke again, “But we don’t have to.”

So you didn’t. You were there for hours, but somehow it still felt like very little time. You still had to ask him why he was being like that. What changed?

saxyguy1002

this is a sign

pursue your love

bunz

r u being fr

what’s up with you?

saxyguy1002

hahahahahahahahaha

don’t you ever just go

  ☺️

👉👈

bunz

huh 😭😭😭😭😭

saxyguy1002

yea so

i’m basically gonna risk it all now

maybe not all

not all at once

🤓

bunz

what is bro yapping about 💥💥

saxyguy1002

how’d u find out that you’re gay?

bunz

excuse me?

saxyguy1002

serious question btw ☝️

bunz

☝️🤓 well actually

ok wait 

serious face on

so 

saxyguy1002

hello?

gay ghosted

bunz

GASPED WHAT

ok 

well

i’ve known this boy for so long since we were kids typa beat and idk i never really liked any girls, i mean sure they're pretty and cute and all but i never pictured myself with any of them

but i did with this boy 

saxyguy1002

u have to tell me everything

bunz

kys :3 (go to sleep freak)

saxyguy1002

no :< (wait plz)

bunz

bro

saxyguy1002

that’s crazy

bunz

what

saxyguy1002

you know who i am don’t u

i know u

bunz

???

ur actually tweaking

ok fine u win

ur scaring me

go kys fr

saxyguy1002

y/n

The hand that held yours and led you back to his haven.

bunz

who

???

bro who’s that 😭

saxyguy1002

don’t be like that now :((

it took me this long to realize

stupid 

i’m stupid

i’ve told u a lot of things

even mentioned chaeyoung

that name is so awful to look at 

i’m sorry

bunz

seunghan

i’m gonna go

saxyguy1002

you’ll come back, right?

You took a sharp inhale, deleting every single reply you had thought of and typed out. You left him on read, not really knowing what to do from then on, yet, you were so eager to find out how this night would affect tomorrow. 

Slipping into the soft sheets, your eyes would swell with tears looking back at how he turned against you then. Your eyes would end up swollen, you felt so drained that you dreamt of nothing but the dark. 

Your thoughts went running fast, he owed you an explanation, and you believe he could give it to you soon enough after everything that unfolded from yesterday. 

“You seem to have a lot in mind.” you jumped at Matthew’s query, your consciousness being drawn out of your clouded head.

“Huh?”

“You’ve been re-reading that panel for ten minutes now.”

You sighed, feeling betrayed by your cognition. You ran your fingers through your hair, thinking about how you’ve been stealing glances from each other all day, and how he walked past you a little slower, mouthing “Let’s meet, room.” He had no room to be careless, he knew his sister still had her eyes on him.

“I’ll be busy later, you can keep reading, you really don’t have to wait for me.” you utter when your mind flies to the image of your hand in his. 

“Got it.” you just hoped Matthew wouldn’t spot you and follow you into that room again. 

You went there after your first afternoon class, after you’ve seen him leave first —not before calling you to follow with his eyes though. The door was only slightly open when you got there, and you’d poke your head in first, before finally letting yourself in.

“So you’re bunz.” he said once you were seated next to him. You’d only nod at him, and once again your eyes were stuck to each other. “When did you figure out it was me you’re talking to?”

“It took a while too. I had to piece together the things you were telling me. Then, like you said, you mentioned your sister.” he had to bite his lip to hold himself back from beaming, he felt as if your voice was enough to take him out of this earth. 

“And I had to tell you her name too huh.” he softly laughs at himself, “I got too comfortable I guess, no wonder why.” 

His eyes would trail down, tracing every detail of your face, and you’d follow his eyes, wondering what lies behind the darkness of those orbs. It had driven you to finally ask him what you’ve been longing to know, “What made you change back then?”

You swore you heard his breath hitch, and his eyes would slowly start to water. “Chaeyoung. She was going to tell on me.”

His parents, now you could understand a bit more clearly. What was it that his sister had against him that she’s got him backed up in a corner? And why did he have to add to your suffering?

“She forced me into… everything.” he’d open his hand as a means to ask for yours, and you’d give it to him, “If my parents knew, they’d move me away.”

You stared at your clasped hands, watching his thumb lightly graze over your hand, “Knew what?”

He felt a lump in his throat forming after you’ve sounded your question, and with a light squeeze to his hand, he answered, “That my eyes are only for you. You know I like you, right?”

It was nothing but a hunch then, but you felt crazy because for others it might fall in line with the normality of some friendships. It all meant something after all.

“I always have, but it did take a while for me to grasp on it.” now he had a grasp on you. “I know what I did to you was irredeemable, but, now that we’re older, would you give me a chance?”

You looked at each other like nothing else in the world mattered, you thought everything else around you was fading into dust when you caught a glimpse of your own reflection in his eyes.

“You don’t have to answer now.”

“Do I have to answer? you got me, Seunghan.”

Before he could take another breath of air, the door would open, and there he saw your friend whose face would display shock. You’d turn around, only to be met with Matthew who’d soon repeatedly utter his apology before pacing away. 

“Shit. I should talk to him.” you stood up, breaking the contact of your locked hands. 

“I’ll go with you.” you stared at Seunghan for a while, taking his words into serious consideration. 

“No. Chaeyoung might see you.”

“I don’t care. Let her see me. I’m more than ready to run away from that house.” —the truth is, he wasn’t much prepared, but he was firm that mentally, he was ready.

“We’re only graduating. It’s too risky. What about the dreams you want to pursue?” your tone sounded of worry, and it made his heart weak, wanting to just run into you so you could take him in your arms. 

“It’s you. I want to pursue you, Y/n.” his voice was a bit shaky, and it almost cracked, his eyes lured you to him, and he’d let himself melt in your embrace. 

You’d eventually have a talk with Matthew, but it would be the next day. He was surprised to see Seunghan following behind you. He had many questions, and they were all answered, indirectly at most. He didn’t even bother asking most of what he wanted to, he could already see it from the way you looked at each other, or how close your faces were and how your hands brushed against each other, feeling too bashful to just hold one another —though you’d argue that you were only that close because you had to whisper, you were in a library after all.

It’s been two weeks, two weeks of exchanged glances and secret signals to meet each other in that room. It’d be after the first week when he’d let his guard up when you were being messed with by his sister or the others, for the first time, he’d walk in between you and another guy who was causing you trouble, and he’d grab for your hand, dragging you out of the room with him. You expressed your worry, telling him that you were used to it, that he shouldn’t have done that, especially when his sister was there to see everything. He told you he’d handle everything, and he did.

“Are you seriously choosing to be this stupid Hong Seunghan?” That night his sister bursts into his room with this query, evidently enraged, “You really want me to tell mom and dad?”

“Yeah, go ahead, and while you’re at it, I’ll tell them about your boyfriend too and how he fucked you into failing three of your classes.” his stare was daring her to snap back.

“You have no proof of that, do you?”

“I can get proof if I ask him, it’s not like he knows how much of a good girl you are at home, you pretentious fuck.”

“You can’t talk to me like that!”

“Oh shut the fuck up. You’ve been shit to me and Y/n ever since we were children. Grow the fuck up. Y/n didn’t do shit to make your life as miserable as you’ve made his.” Now he was no longer afraid.

It was only a year ago when he had thought about what he truly wanted, and then he’d realize that he was close enough to start fixing himself up, thinking of ways on how he’d go about everything, starting with moving away from his family as soon as he could —if they didn’t threaten him first. He had to secure his chances, cause now he was sure that his future plans involved you.

It was quite a surprise that the torment would stop, though you would still receive glares and you could still hear them muttering under their breath, they would never get too close to you again. You were even more surprised when Seunghan had approached you at your desk, and you could see the stunned expression on the faces that scowled at you. 

“You’re not in trouble are you?” you quietly asked.

He places a hand on your shoulder, lowering himself to whisper to you, “I’m not, but I’m still not sure how long this will last. Let’s talk about it in our room later.” when he rose from your ear, he’d give you a light smile, walking out of the classroom. 

When you were back in your room, he proceeded to tell you about his plans moving forward, he also told you about the fight he had with his sister. He was quite set on what he wanted to do, wanting to get a scholarship, moving out of his parent’s house, getting a job while still attending college, and in his own words, the most important of all, to be with you along the way. 

“But, you know, you can tell me if you have plans that go against mine. It’s okay, I know you have goals of your own.” but if you were being honest, you were under so much pressure and fear for the future that you didn't even know what you wanted to do with your life. 

“I want to be with you.” It took him great effort to not close the distance between your faces right then and there. 

But of course, it was all easier said than done. 

Your relationship would remain the same till you graduated, following the same pattern everyday, keeping things as discreet as possible for the both of you. After graduation, you were talking to each other every other hour of the day, thoughts about the next phase of your life spilling out.

You were nervous to finally receive the results of your entrance exams for all the universities you were able to apply for, out of five, you were able to get into two, both offering scholarships.

You were high up in the clouds, thinking about preparing for college. You actually had a life ahead of you now, and you were glad that you ended up with the same boy you had started your journey with. 

You packed your stuff nicely in an old travel bag owned by your mom, who was no longer around, not dead, just decided she had enough of your mentally abusive father. You made sure to clean very diligently, so that your dad wouldn’t grumble about it after you’ve left. 

You wanted to leave this life behind you, the redundant pressure you’ve pushed to yourself, just to please your father who had given you more pain than help. So that morning before you left, you made sure you were leaving for good. 

“I’m gay.” 

You had expected him to throw his cup of coffee at you, but he’d just chuckle, his raspy voice made you flinch. “I know.” he’d laugh even more when he saw the expression on your face, “I’ve looked through your computer. You know, there’s really not much I can do. You’re not hurting anyone for being with another man, so go, live your life.”

It was nothing you could have foreseen, but before you left, you just had to give him one last hug, uttering a soft little thank you.

“He really said that?” Now you sit in a park near campus, under a tree, smaller than the one from your cherished memories, but just as beautiful. 

“I was surprised too. I’m not even sure if I heard him correctly.” Seunghan wrapped an arm around your shoulder, and you would do the same, wrapping an arm around his waist.

Your head laid on his shoulder, and his lie on top of it. He’d very gently rub circles on your shoulder with his thumb, and you could feel him sigh, chest going into a labored rise and falling back with ease. “I guess we could start with your idea.”

“The webcomic?” he’d hummed a response to your question. You sat up and faced him, your hand enclosing his own. “Our story would make for a good webcomic, don’t you think?”

“Hmm, you’re not wrong.” his lips would grow into a smile once he’d seen your beaming face. 

It wouldn’t take much time before he let his eyes wander down your lips, and you’d take notice of it. You beat him to it, and it was you who would close the proximity, sending heat waves throughout his entire body. When you pulled away, he’d blink a couple of times. He was only about to hold the back of your head to pull you in closer. You laughed at his bewildered face, and he’d become shy. 

“We can continue, my dorm room is probably empty, my roommate said he’d be out for a while.” you tell him, and he’d wear a smug grin making you cringe a little. 

“Yeah. Let’s do that.” he couldn’t help but take a pause, taking in how ethereal you looked at the moment, or how soft your hair was that he found all excuses in the book just to touch it. “And while we’re at it, I should start making concept art, sketches and all that. I’m gonna need a full body reference.”

Your face would wrinkle at his words, lightly pinching at his cheek. “Respectfully, you’re disgusting.”

His sweet chuckle almost made you forget you were in a public space, in a park. Though there were not many people there at that time, you were quite wary, something that would take time for you to adjust. 

So where did your ambitions take you?

After a year of college, you were both successful in selling your webcomics to a well known publisher —you could say you took longer than you should, given that most of your work time consisted of half-hour make-out sessions— and soon it would boom, and most people loved it, some were of course, a little less tolerant. 

Other than that, Seunghan had to deal with his parents who’d eventually find out about your relationship, and to that he replied, “What do you mean ‘shame on you for dating a gay man’? I am gay.” 

He’d make sure to add it to his bio in your favorite game. 

21 / male and gay AND i have a boyfriend @bunzshh

Disgusting, you mean, disgustingly adorable? People could call you disgusting all they want, but it’s the twenty-first century, people should be worrying about climate change and the things that are actually causing harm to the world. Don’t worry though, your story could only end on such a sweet note, and if people hated you, you still had your man (and no other).

boyfriend (legal)

fuck u

my man (and no other)

u already did like 12 hours ago???

boyfriend (legal)

ur sick

kys 🤍 (come over plssss)

my man (and no other)

i will 🖤 (hehehehhehehehehe open the door veronica)

End.

[simp4konig]

okay, a couple questions

1: favourite song?

2: favourite movie/show?

3: idk anything else you want me to know-

Okay 😋😋 saw this immediately but didnt have time in the morjning to respond ☹️ SORRY !!!!

1. I have more than one 🥵

I dont expect you to listen to all of these btw !! 😰😰Dont waste your time if you dont ijow tjem, 😭🙏 :

So yeah, basically I play all these songs^^^ on repeat 💀☠️☠️ Drift Phonk is SO good 💯💯😎even tjo its bass boosted cowbells with some. Percussion 🤓🤓☝️ i think its rlly good lol

Also have some rap/pop songs that are in Polish that im NOT gonna include here bc its not like youll understand a word of whay theure saying 😱😱😱

2. LOVEEEEE "Money Heist/La Casa de Papel " it's made me cry twice🥰💔💔om the fifth episode of the last season because my favourite character died😞

I watch True Crime documentaries and just documentaries abt the internet😇😇 My favs for each category respectively: "Don't F**k With Cats" + "The Most Hated Man on The Internet (i think its called anyeays lmaoo)

Also like watching classic films. Idk, i dont like tje stuff that comes out nowadays 🤕 so any blockbusters from the 80s–10s i LOVE 🤩🤩

3. Random information:

Natural blonde, with GRAY-blue eyes (because my eyesight is bad so the colour in my eyes has faded, 🥲 — so obv. I wear glasses😔its sad bc my eyes were ocrsn blue and now look metallic 🤖)

My handwriting is god-awfulm, like ILLEGIBLE😭😭😭 its sn insult to the paper honestly 💀💀you should see ky school books my notes are so messy ajd sll over the place i feel bad for the teachers that mark my exams/assessments😰

Currently reading the Harry Potter books (up to the fifth film, but i thought i should also read the books to compare😊), and im on the fourth novel — Its so THICK and im svared bc my good friend that's lendijg me these said that the next one is the longest 🤯 i might just kms 🙂🔫

I have a cat figurine collection 😱😱 I visit charity shops with my mum (mostly outvof obligation 😵), but we sometimes get lucky and founf ones out of porcelain, glass/crystal, carved in wood, etc 😽🐈🐈‍⬛😺

You know old ladies that wear flower patterns🌸🌺🌷 and middle-aged moms in their late 30s/40s tjay wear cheetsh /leopard print🐆🐆 ? Well im that but as a Gen z girl with an obsession with camo print LMAO,, I have a camo backpack, cargo camo print pants, camo leggings, camo tshirt, camo hat, even fuckijg csmo pencil case LMAO💀💀💀 I WOULD have had a camo phne case too but there wasnt the one i wanted for ky phone...💔💔So Idk i rock (horribly😵) an army fit so whem i CAN i go out in combat boots, cargoes+belt, black or darkgrey tshirt/turtleneck tucked into my cargos, fingerless gloves etc. 😙✌️✨✨✨

If you would like to leanr more, check out this post !!☺️✨✨(well reblog actuslly hahaha)

Tried to include new informwtion aboit myself here so i didjt repeat anytjing 😇, Hope i didnt bore you😰😰😰

[iggykoopa666]

im so tired of being scared every waking moment of the day why did i have to start having medical issues within a year of moving out oht why couldnt it have been back when everything was consistent and the same. i keep documenting because i want to find out what it is so it can stop but its so hard to figure out the cause when literally everything about my life has changed !!!!!!! it could be anything!!!!!! is it my diet? i dont know my diet has changed a lot. is it sinuses? i dont know what im allergic to and i live somewhere different now so its not as predictable as before. is it the water i drink? thats different too. is it weed? evidence so far points to no but what do i know!! is it migraines? well probably not anymore because 2 different meds i was prescribed didnt help. is it the weather? probably not. is it my period? doubtful. is it whatever else? is it this or that? brain tumor? stroke? blood tests came back normal so im not prediabetic. im getting more vitamin d lately too so not that. medical paranoia making me want to kms. i felt like my life was finally going well and everyone was commenting on how happy i seemed but now im just scared and paranoid near constantly. i worry its gonna be like this forever. i worry im gonna always have this pain forever. im gonna keep going to the doctor. were gonna replace the filter in the air vents incase theyre like super gross and thats somehow whats causing it. all i can do is wait and see what happens. im so tired and scared. its one of those things that google doesnt help either because its either "you have migraines or a brain tumor" neither of which are helpful and one which is actively harmful to my state of mind. i have to keep telling myself "well it hasnt killed me yet so it cant be that bad" because thats the only thing keeping me sane

[sucktacular]

cw weight loss mention.

today.... is a good readmore!! good news!! a lil bit of a vent here and there cuz my brain is a mine field, but over all im feeling kind of good?

not to like.... pat my own lil head about it or anything but i went outside today. AND i went on a WALK on my OWN around the neighbourhood.... I've never walked around here on my own, and i think the last time I went out for a walk on my own was a year and a half ago when i had to come out here to check out the room for rent (current room). so its really been a hot fuckin minute. i was honestly feeling super anxious. but i put in my head phones and listened to my music and text-talked to some friends and it made it a lil easier. ; w;

I've been working out a lot too for the past few days!!!! My lil weights and lots of other exercises.... I feel really good about it so far honestly and I really hope maybe I can keep this up. especially through winter.

honestly im terrified of winter coming. i really dont want to feel stuck inside again and things get worse? I want so badly to go outside on my own. Be able to do shopping when I need. Go get little treats! Take care of myself and my needs. I'd really really like to work on getting a job or some sort of money source.because disability denied me over and over despite having even a therapist letter confirming like. heyyy theyre fucked up!!!, but like.... i want so badly to have money again. and i want to save and i want to put it away and also... being on social assistance im not allowed to leave canada for more than 7 days in a row and that is straining the FUCK out of my relationship and like my life moving forward at all in general. we cant go on a trip to the Adirondacks for the seasonal change and im super fucking bummed out about it honestly. and its literally just cuz of social assistance keeping me at home. its literally so fucked.

but anyway. im trying my fucking damnedest and im trying soooooo hard to keep upright and now sink and slip back down. Ive got some friends in my corner. and thats great. but its all on me at the end of the day. and if im being frank i fucking HATE HOW IM LIVING!!!!!!!! I DONT WANT!!!! TO BE DEPENDANT!!!! ON PEOPLE!!!!! i dont want to be stuck at home, the summer is fucking gone and i barely did anything.... i want to go out! i want to go to concerts! i want to go to festivals!! i want to go to meet ups and visit friends and i want to do so many fucking things!!! i want to explore, i want to see the world, i want to eat food and meet ppl and experience. i want so much out of my life. but im absolutely holding myself back. and i know its not entirely on me to just push myself out of that because i also dont want to burn out. and i know mental illness and i know i know i know.

but

im so tired of this. im literally clawing in my cage here and i dont feel like anyone really GETS that? idk idk maybe ppl do im just out of my mind and this ISNT ME. this isnt who i want to be, and i know i dont really get much of an option in that? cuz my brain is going to fucking keep doing what it is doing. but i AM getting therapy. I AM talking about the hard hard fucking shit. the shit that makes me want to kms the shit that makes me want to peel my skin off or just disappear entirely. im trying. and i dont want to crash and i dont want to burn and go back to this again. but like... idk man if i dont fucking push myself up im NOT gonna get back up. im complacent in the comfort of hiding away from life. when i want nothing more than to love everyone and kiss my friends faces and hold their hands and go to places and see things and eat things and do stuff blah blah blah

im strong.. im smart.. im creative... I CAN dance the dance. but im terrorized by the thought of existing enough to not be wanted around by even just one person LMAO;;;;;;

anyway this is getting a bit venty but

I WENT OUT!!! I WALKED FOR LIKE 30MIN. I GOT SWEATY. I CAME HOME. I WORKED A LITTLE. I DID MY DISHES YESTERDAY. I WORKED UP A HUGE SWEAT LAST NIGHT. I MAKE MY BED EVERY DAY. THE WEATHER IS CHILLING. I LOST 20LBS SINCE APRIL!!!! I HAVE A BETTER SLEEP SCHEDULE AND IM TRYING MY DAMNEST TO KEEP BRING IT BACK A BIT MORE (4/6am - 3/4pm right now. I'd love to wake up by 10am at minimum honestly). IM MOTIVATED IM TRYING SO FUCKING HARD.

i need to remember im independent. and i fucking adore my independence. and i need to stop being so complacent to allow ppl to care for me. like obv my heart is open to it and i let people in and i dont shy away. to be a human is to care and receive care. but my independence is a deeply deeply personal thing for me and without it im... just not myself. im just not me. im just not at my full potential. and i reallllly need to work it out.

[joelsdagger]

HELLO GORGEOUS GIRL!!!!

I bring forth some questions for you

6 (PAYBACK), 9, 11, 24, and 28!!!

I LOVE YOU <3

naya my love ily 🥹🫶🏻 STOP CALLING ME NICE THINGS BACK 🤺 telling me to yap is a very bad idea bc….well LMAO

6.) three nice things about myself (i really wanted to kms with this one 💀 and i hate you for asking me this, i dont actually hate you i adore you but ugh this one was 🥴🥴🥴)

three physical things;

-my eyes are pretty

-my lips are soft the hue of them is a cute shade of pink (but its so hard to find a nude lippie that matches exactly 😭)

-my natural hair color and texture is nice, typical arab curls that i completely ruined with dye and permanent straightener that i’ve spent the last two years reviving and i’m so happy with the results!

three nonphysical things

-i dont let ppl walk all over me and deter me from my opinions and that’s something that was very hard for me growing up so that’s something that im proud of.

-i consider myself pretty loyal and protective and will fight for the people i love no matter what

-my work ethic is pretty intense and im ngl im proud of how fast and efficient i get once i put my mind to it.

9.) things that calm me down; my cat 🥹 when i’m upset its like she can sense it and she gets really lovey and cuddly, its so cute. nature, sometimes just sitting outside and being in the rain or the sun or looking up at the moon and the stars and the beach???? my escape 100%. going on drives with some music playing, and lately i’ve found that writing helps too

11.) im so easy but a chill, quiet night in with some good food (home cooked or take out, doesn’t really matter) and curled up on the couch, watching a good show/movie while cuddling is PERFECT. im a big introvert and homebody so anything away from people in the comfort of my home is everything to me. i’m also gonna say [redacted] at the end of the night would be nice too LMAO

24.) working out really helps me de-stress, i’ve found boxing, swimming, dancing helps keep my mind off of things. i’ve heard pilates is really good and i really wanna become a pilates girlie i wont lie. baking and gaming helps me de-stress too (although sometimes if the game gets too intense it stresses me out but i dont mind it bc it takes my mind off of the other things worrying me)

28.) i LOVE hand holding but i’m gonna be honest i’ve gotten really insecure of my hands these last 3-4 years, they’re very rough and dry now bc of my ocd :( so hugs are the safer option for me !