#how am i meant to talk to him when i cant stop crying and how am i meant to go outside like this

[diangelodork]

DBDA nightly analysis #25! (sorry i've been lacking lately, i have not been in the right mental state but i am BACK NOW BABYYYYY)

tonight's topic: crystal palace the girl that you are (character analysis bc she's been getting shit on so violently lately and DOES NOT deserve it.)

i will say - i didn't care all that much for crystal for quite a while until i really sat down to analyze her motivations and background, but it is the hate that some people have been spewing about her that motivated me to analyze her tonight.

crystal palace is flawed. of course she is. she is by no means perfect.

the first time we see her is in emma's flashback to her and crystal. she would play in a graveyard, frolicking about and taking polaroid pictures with this ghost of a young child. she was good enough friends with this child for her to seek out professional help to get her back. she was undoubtedly kind to her.

when we see her next she is dazed and confused, and still, she makes a rude remark. this is not because she is inherently bad, but because she still has that memory of being mistreated. now, she doesnt have all of her memories, but she has the memory that people weren't nice to her. she feels she must fit into that mold and that memory. the way she does that is by being a dick.

we see her a bit more in depth in her walk with charles. she expresses that she feels like people weren't the kindest to her and, knowing what we know about the way she was raised, that makes a lot of sense. she was excruciatingly neglected as a child and seeked attention. the best way to do that was negative attention. it was the easiest to accomplish.

she has her spats with edwin, but they are mostly (if not exclusively) initiated by him. she returns his energy. then we see some of the shit she goes through with david. he is incredibly abusive all throughout the series and it is very evident how predatory he is. he chose her because she was unloved. because she was vulnerable. she was easy to take advantage of.

her breaking down in E1 is so, SO important to me. we forget that she is MEANT to be flawed. she is imperfect. like the boys, she is but a sixteen year old and she is so deeply scared. she doesn't know who she is or how to cope with the fact that she doesnt know who she is. on top of that, this fucker that she's with (affectionate) won't stop shitting on her for NO reason. from the start, he was a douche to her (he has his motivations for this as well, but that doesn't mean it's not true) and now shes sitting here and calling her abuser and the fucker that has been tormenting and stalking her is being linked to her ("her demon") and she cant HANDLE that. shes been hanging on by a thread all of E1. shes been dealing with so fucking much, emotionally.

interestingly, edwin is not an emotional character when faced with other people's issues. i say this because he still garners more compassion than her. the way she treats the becky aspen case, especially, is so fragile and vulnerable. the way she immediately starts crying after looking into becky's mom's mind should have elicited more sympathy than it did and it's incredibly interesting that it didnt.

i will be the FIRST to say how important the "it's a lark to you!" scene is for edwin, but i never hear anyone discuss crystal's part in this conversation. shes so desperate and hurting and it's so strange that no one talks enough about that.

except no its not. i wish it was.

i truly think its an issue of her being a black woman and standing in the way of payneland. there is a lot of internalized misoginoir within how the fandom views her character. it is explicitly highlighted within the show how similar edwin and crystal are and a lot of the things she gets hate for are characteristics that are also incredibly prevalent in edwin's character. for example, her brashness and bluntness. it’s okay when it’s edwin, the white, queer twink of everyone’s dreams, but the second it’s a woman who is already on thin ice for the fandom because she’s standing in the way of the main ship, it’s easy to say she’s a bad person for this.

crystal is so unwavering as a character. she has such strong themes of feminism all throughout her story. she is able to separate from her abuser and intimidate and overpower him which is so STRONG. she is able to hone in on the divine femininity of her ancestors and THAT is where her power is derived from. she confronts a goddess of female vengance and justice and stands in front of her, demanding justice for the young girls slaughtered under her watch. she is inherently, at her core, good. she has done shitty, awful things in her past, but that happens when you are abused. it is not an excuse, but she is a CHILD who has been deeply abused. neglect is a form of abuse.

also, could you IMAGINE how it must feel to be such a deeply unloved character who KNOWS they are unloved. she is a psychic. she could see into the minds of her parents. she could always see their apathy. what a lonely fucking thing to go through, my god.

even still, when she was doing these awful things, she took the time to connect with a young girl and spend enough time with her for them to bond and for her to miss her. her first instinct (with the memories of her parent's neglect gone) is to cross an ocean to save a little girl. she is so deeply touched by maren and shelby's stories.

she is a flawed character, but they all are. she gets more hate than all of them and, if you are one of the people who hate her above all else, i want you to ask yourself why? these views are, of course, not held by the majority of the fandom, but it has become a big fuckin issue and i wanted to address it. acknowledge where it’s coming from, if you’re one of the people feeling a bit targeted by tonight’s analysis. love yall <3

[raybeetle]

i so sad

[lovecrazedpup]

just had one of the worst cries of my life i think

[rayraelleaizawa]

There better be a part 2 of "they say something hurtful in an argument" where they realized they fucked up. I swear on God's name I will not stop crying if you don't.

P.s: very good writing keep it up! ❤️

Side Note: I didnt think that there would be so many requests on part 2, so thank you all for the requests and the support! It helps staying motivated to keep writing :) I hope you'll like this!

Making up after an argument

Part 1: They say something hurtful in an argument

Tags: hurt/comfort, slight angst, making up

Characters: Shanks, Benn Beckman, Dracule Mihawk

Shanks

He feels bad about what he said right after he saw that flash of hurt on your face, the sadness in your eyes and your quiet apology. Shanks immediately wanted to go after you when you left the room, but he was so wrung up in his blanket that he first had to untangle himself before he could go after you. He didnt care how he looked like, his shirt was all the way open, his pants were pulled up above his knee on one leg and on the other it hung down normally and his hair was a mess too. His shoes were completly forgotten somewhere in the room.

When he opened the door from his cabin with a rush and walked outside into the hallway, you were long gone. He instantly went looking for you, starting on deck and working all the way down.

His crewmembers, especially his closest friends, gave him weird looks and concerned stares, but he ignored all of their questions and just ran around looking for you. When he finally finds you, crying on the floor in a dark storage room, he felt a pang go through his heart.

He slowly came closer to you, not wanting to startle you, and started talking quietly.

"Hey, sweet cheeks" he said, sitting down next to you. "Is it alright if i touch you?" he said as he carefully laid his hand on your ellbow.

Seeing you in this state made him want to just wrap his arms around you, pull you close and kiss you all over and apologize to you a thousand times, but he held himself back. This wasnt what you needed right now.

When you didnt react to his touch, he laid his other hand on your shoulder. Shanks tried to catch your eyes, but your face was burried in your legs and your hands were shielding your head from him.

"Darling please look at me" he pleaded, and slowly you raised your head. He laid his other hand on your cheek and his warmth immediately comforted you, but you didnt want to give into his warmth. When Shanks saw your tear struck face and this unbearable sadness in your eyes, he mentally cursed himself for saying those reckless words.

"I'm sorry for what I said. I had no right to let my hangover frustration out on you. Please, forgive me. I love you, my sweet little dove" he tried to apologize.

"Am I really the reason?" you quietly asked, hiccuping from all the crying.

"What?" Shanks looked at you confused.

"Am I the reason why you keep drinking so much? Am I that insufferable?" you cried out, your body shaking at the thought.

"No, no! That wasnt what I meant, please, listen to me! You are the best thing that ever happened to me, and I cant lose you. What I said was mean and a lie. Please believe me when I say I never wanted to hurt you. Please believe me that I didnt mean those words."

Shanks was on the verge of crying himself. The thought that he made his partner feel so bad made him hate himself, swearing to never get this drunk again that he would hurt his lover. He was scared you'd leave him. He wanted to make you feel better, but that was a difficult task when he himself was the reason why you were crying and shaking on the floor. He carefully put his arms around you and placed you on his lap and pressed a small kiss to your forehead.

"It's okay, cry how much you want. Be angry at me, hit me, let all your feelings out on me, I deserve it. But please" he swallowed hard "please dont be sad. Please dont leave me. Not because of my stupid mouth."

You looked up at him when he said that. You noticed his pained face and the fear in his eyes. A fear that he messed up for good. You still felt hurt, but you knew Shanks would never toy with your feelings like that. He was serious about this apology.

You pressed your head in his chest and your tears started to dry out. After a time of silence and him gently stroking your back, you murmered a "I love you, you drunk idiot" into his chest. Shanks felt a stone fall from his heart as he chuckled a bit, leaned down and kissed you on the head. "I love you too, so much pumpkin. I'll never hurt you again. I'll stop drinking so much. Pirate promise"

Benn Beckman

Beckman sighed for the seemingly hundreth time. He still stood on deck, leaning against the railing as he thought about what he had said. He didnt meant to hurt you, but he knew giving you a bit space for now was the right thing. When you calmed down he planned on talking to you, but right now he also needed to sort his own thoughts.

He regretted his words instantly after they left his mouth but the damage was done. He sighed again. Usually he would have smoked at least half a package of cigarettes by now, but he just couldnt bring himself to touch one. Those stupid things were the reason why he made his partner sad. No, bullshit. He couldnt blame anyone else than himself for this. He fucked up.

With one last sigh he left his place at the railing and went underdeck to find you. He had a guess where you were and what you'd be doing, so he went straight to your cabin. He calmed himself with a deep breath in and breath out before he knocked on your door and then slowly opened it.

He wasnt suprised at what he saw. You were at your desk, working away on whatever was laying on your table. Benn carefully stepped into your room and closed the door. You didnt give him any sign that you acknowledged his presence. He walked over to you and waited if you'd say something.

Benn wasnt sure how to approach, so he looked at the papers on your desk. When he saw how shaky your handwriting was and how the ink mixed with waterdrops at some places he sighed again, feeling helpess as he made his own partner cry.

"Hey, I'm sorry about what I said. It wasnt right of me. I let out my stress on you eventho you were only worried about me. I'm deeply sorry."

Benn apologized, but you didnt respond nor did you look at him. He got restless, the uneasy feeling in him became stronger with every second you didnt say anything. You were just writing away on your papers.

"Buttercup, please. I am really sorry. I didnt want to hurt your feelings. You know I love you deeply."

There was a begging undertone in Benns voice by now.

"You dont smell like smoke" was the only answere he got, and hearing your voice immediately eased his anxious feelings a bit.

"I just...couldnt bring myself to touch them" he admitted.

You turned to look at him.

"Maybe i should be upset because of you more often then?"

He breathed out as he sensed that you werent that upset at him anymore. There was a joking undertone in your words, but it was clear that you still were hurt. He laid his hand on yours and leaned down, pressing his forehead to yours.

"Please no. I cant handle this. I cant handle seeing you upset. I'm sorry, princess, i'll really try my best to smoke less. Please, I want to make things right again, I-"

He stopped when you laid your hand on his cheek, softly caressing it.

"I know that you're sincer when you start rambling, Benn Beckman."

Dracule Mihawk

Mihawk knew he fucked up big time when he wanted to go look for you but couldnt find you. He noticed your belongings were gone, and then saw footprints leaving away from the castle. Your footprints.

It was starting to become night so he immediately ran after you, following your steps through the woods. He prayed the whole time that you were safe, that nothing happened to you, that you didnt get injured because of his inability to deal with his emotions the right way.

It started raining and it got darker and darker. He hoped he'll find you in time. The nights are cold and the animals in the woods can be even more dangerous at night. Mihawk ran even faster as raindrops hit him more frequently, and soon it was pouring down. His clothes were complety soaked, but he couldnt care less. All he could think of was to find you and bring you back to safety.

While Mihawk dashed throught the woods with experience, you on the other hand stumbled around without orientation. Now that the darkness started to rise, you couldnt see anything anymore. The trees were so close to each other that you couldnt orientate yourself on the stars, and barely any moonlight came through either.

You couldnt count anymore how often you tripped or fell down a slope. Your arms, legs and face were covered in small scratches as you continued to push trough. You werent even entirely sure where you were going, but all you knew was that you wanted to put as much distance in between you and Hawkeye as possible.

Tears still welled up at the thought of him. Those soft moments between you two all seemed like a lie. You shook your head to get rid of those thoughts and carried on. You kept on walking, but a root stood out of the ground and made you trip again. You fell and slithered down another small slope and just as you cursed to yourself you heard a noise.

You stayed quietly on the ground as you listened, not sure if you misheared. No, there were definetely steps. But they were too heavy to be from a human. And Mihawk wouldnt come either. So what was that?

Then you heard a sniffing sound and a roar. And that's when you also got your answer. It was a bear. You tried to stay as calm as possible, but soon you realized why the bear roared so much. You fell in between the bear and it's cup. Which was the worst thing you could do - get in between a mother bear and her child.

You slowly started to crawl backwards, but the mother bear roared again and you heard her coming closer. You tried to hold your breath as you saw her shadowy figure infront of you, and the moment the bear roared almost into your face, you tried to stand up and run away, but of course that didnt work with a bear in front of you. You fell on your butt and tried to ready yourself for the heavy impact with the bears paw which she had raised, when a tall figure was infront of you suddenly, holding a big sword you'd recognise everyhwere. Mihawk. He wielded his sword and cut the ground, and the bear mother and her cup both ran away.

When he turned to face you, you couldnt decipher what his facial expression meant. You sat there, on the ground, cuts all over you and wet from the rain as he suddenly quickly walked up to you. You wanted to stand up, to talk with him, but before you could even say his name he was on the ground with you, kissing you feverishly.

You were confused about what was going on suddenly, but Mihawk pressed you against him in a way you couldnt escape. Not that you really wanted to, cause you felt so many emotions in this one kiss. Fear, anger, sadness, relieve... it seemed like all of those pent up emotions he couldnt let out came through in this kiss.

After what seemed like eternity did he break the kiss, panting as he looked at you.

"I'm so glad you're okay. I'm so glad you're alive. I- I love you."

Was all he said and you looked at him in shock. It was a rare treat to hear those words from him, and you didnt expect to ever hear them again. But here he was, saving you in the middle of the night, telling you his feelings.

"I-I know that you're always worried when I leave. I just didnt know how to break it to you when i had to leave for so long. I not only see the disappointment and worry in your face, I also see fear and sadness whenever i leave. I just...I didnt know how I should tell you that I had to leave for months, fighting some idiots without seeing you all sad about the fact that I might not come back? That's why i left without saying anything. I know i hurt you, my love. I know I said something cruel back in the castle. But this castle is not my home when you arent in it. I'm sorry for hurting you. I didnt know how to express myself. Please, forgive me. I'll work on it."

You only stared in shock as Mihawk talked about his feelings so much. But then a small smile broke out on your lips.

"You're an idiot. But you're my idiot."

He didnt respond, he only blushed which you didnt see in the dark nights, but then he picked you up and started carrying you back to your home.

[sircantus]

OOOOO the dark sbi one sounds fun! Are there any other wips that is dark sbi?

Anyways I am VERY interested in Yoink the identity one please do share🙏

Funny you say that bc yoink the identity is also a dark sbi au!! Kinda. Its actually just more of a horror au if anything (but also yeah a couple of the aus there have got dark elements i cant remember which tho my memory of them only activates when i focus on one)

anyhow that wip is about a shapeshifter au in which wilbur and Phil are supposed to have their weekly dinner night together, but then Wil gets a call with Phil panicking and screaming on the other end, telling him to rush over to his apartment. Wilbur goes over thinking something horrible happened, but when he gets there Phil has no idea what Wil is talking about with the phone call and he seems entirely fine.

They kinda go on with their dinner night but Phil keeps really odd, not quite getting details in the conversation right, seeming lost in his own house, ect. Wilbur ends up hearing a weird noise and sneaks off to investigate to find actual Phil locked in a closet.

To where he then realizes he was not talking with the real Phil and something is seriously fucked up here. They both sneak around the apartment trying to avoid the not Phil thing, who realizes actual Phil got out and starts to try to lure them out by mimicking their voices (it keeps calling for Phil in wilburs voice, “Phil? Phil, whered you go?” And then it switches to Phils voice screaming for help, which makes Wilbur just keep looking at real Phil desperately trying to reassure himself the noise isnt real)

They end up escaping the apartment and calling Techno, their mutual buddy, for help, but then the shapeshifter starts following them outside and they’re running across the empty streets in the middle of the night to try and lose it. Techno eventually finds them and nearly runs them over, and then proceeds to try purposely running the shapeshifter over upon seeing it come around the corner, looking like Phil but with everything about him seeming just Wrong. (Eyes glinting too hard, his walk stumbling too much, the voice from his mouth still being Wilburs-) so sbi is in the car now. Techno hits the thing with his car. They check to see if they killed it, and they watch as the shapeshifter tries to then turn into a kid, but still clinging onto Phils features, so then it just looks like a kid version of Phil (tommy!! Yays)

Its then crying about getting hit with a car and mimicking all their voices interchangeably to ask for help, and Techno is about to get back in the car to run it over a second time!! Only for Phil to stop him bc he wants to know what the heck the shapeshifter is even trying to do. Here is where i lose the plot a bit but i think from there on it would be cool for the three of them to argue amongst themselves over if they should be pitying a monster thing, not noticing Tommy getting closer until he’s right next to them and he’s taken Technos form and voice to try and join their conversation. This somehow results in them realizing he’s really not that harmful. Family dynamics

The thing is “Tommy” is meant to be a very naive type of shapeshifter who doesnt really have a grasp on humans, and he took Phils place first bc he heard about the dinner and he wanted to meet Wil. And then he sees Techno and how Phil and Wilbur talk with him and thats why he turns into a Techno. He also turns young when hes hurt bc he recognizes that humans treat their young gently. Its a neat concept! Alas its also a wip. I have no idea where the family dynamics will form but by god theyre gonna be somewhere

Also its called yoink the identity bc obviously tommy shapeshifter took phils place for a second there haha

[veren-cos]

Babe, Look at me!

Shane x gn!farmer Self Harm comfort

An extended version of the plot in my bullet point self harm comfort

TW! Mentions of current and past self harm. Kinda graphic but nothing too specific. If you are struggling with self harm or suicidal ideation, please reach out to someone. Weather that is a friend, family member, doctor, therapist, etc. I promise things get better. There are many helplines and free resources that are just a google away!

Oh fuck. Oh fuck Oh fuck oh fuckohfuck. Why did you do it?! Again! Again and again and again and again. It never seemed to stop. Every single time you thought it was the last, it just kept happening.

You woke up early, as per usual. But something just wasn't right. A feeling that wouldn't go away. Eating you from under your skin, consuming every thought and emotion until you did something to get it out.

So you rushed back inside. Panicking. Think dear yoba why in earth do you do this to yourself? Why can you never stay away. But then you find yourself in the bathroom. New cuts and scratches wherever you had access. And then,

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

Shane came in. Shane had seen everything. He saw what a mess you were. He saw. He saw he saw he saw he saw. You dropped what was in your hands. "Shane!"

Fuck, tears were building up. "Shane oh my god I'm so sorry."

You felt your knees getting wobbly. "I'm sorry"

They gave out. You were on the floor of your bathroom, absolutely sobbing, bleeding and blubbering out apologies to your boyfriend who just walked in.

"I'm so sorry Shane. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!"

---------------------------------------------

There's blood. They are bleeding?!! And they are on the floor. Oh my yoba they are on the floor crying. This is my fucking fault. Oh no.. Oh no nono I yelled at them. I yelled at them? What the fuck was I thinking! Why the fuck am I still just thinking they fucking need help!

I can't help them? What the fuck can I do? I can barely help myself!

..but they need me..

---------------------------------------------

You were still on the tile. Nothing was going right. Why the fuck did you do it. Hurting yourself doesn't solve anything. It doesn't help. It doesn't help! Why cant you stop. Please just let it stop.

You felt arms wrapping around you. God you forgot he was even there.

"It's okay." Shane squeezed you tighter. "It's okay. Babe I'm here for you. You're okay. You'll be okay. We are going to get you through this, alright? You've helped me up until now it's my fucking turn." He tried to sooth your panic, but you were spiraling.

How could you put this on him? You never meant for him to find out! You never meant for this to happen again! And now he knows, and -"Babe."- he is talking to you and -"hello?"- you can't hear him but you know he is speaking and-

He is suddenly in front of you, grabbing you by the shoulders. "Babe! Look at me!" You finally saw him. You could hear him. "Breath." He took a big breath in. Then let it out. "Come on, you have to breath. You need to calm down."

He guided you through a few breaths, but it was still taking so long. You kept trying to calm yourself down. Too unaware to notice that Shane had grabbed a wet towel and started cleaning the cuts. When you finally were grounded enough to notice, he had already wrapped the wounds.

"Shane.." You looked up at him. It was the first time you had really seen his face this whole time. He looked.... broken. You broke him. You broke the love of your life. It was all your fault.

He must have seen you start spacing out again, because he pulled you up off the floor, and into another hug.

"Baby.. you have to talk to me. I can't wake up seeing you having hurt yourself in the bathroom. You can't be hurting yourself. This isn't healthy. You need help. More help than I can give. But I can help you get the help you need. And I can listen. So talk to me. Please."

He looked like he was about to cry. But the wall already came crashing down, you might as well smash the rest of the pieces.

"Shane.. I'm so sorry." He gave you a look. "No. Okay. I'm sorry. Shit! I don't even know where to start. There hasn't even been anything to be upset with! Things have been going well! I have my farm. I have my friends. I have you!! But somehow things just.. they got overwhelming.

"They got overwhelming to the point I just broke. I fell into old habits. Ones I didn't think would come back. I just couldn't do it. Nothing feels right. I am happy! But then I feel guilty about being happy. And then I feel sad that I'm feeling guilty about being happy. And then I'm sad that I'm sad about being guilty that I'm happy? And then I'm spiraling into a series of emotions that make no sense and it's just too much. Everything is just too much!"

You took a shakey breath, continuing, "So now I'm here. And you're here too. You were never supposed to be here! I never wanted you to see this. You were never supposed to see this part of me. I'm supposed to be put together. And okay. And helpful. And perfect. But I'm not."

He hugged you tighter, then pulled back and looked you straight in the eyes. "You aren't perfect. You aren't put together. And yes, you're helpful, but sometimes you make a mess out of things! You fail. You're messy. You'll fail again, and make even more messes!"

It sounded like he was stringing together insults for you! What the fuck was Shane thinking? But then he continued..

"And that is okay." He made sure you were looking at him for that. "It's okay to not be perfect. It's okay to not be put together, to be a mess. You don't have to help anyone. It's okay it fail. You have all this pressure on yourself, and you don't need it. I fail all the time, and I'm a mess! I don't help anyone besides myself, and I am far from perfect. Hey. Maybe that's why we're perfect for each other?" You let out a scoff of a laugh and shoved his arm.

"Too soon? Okay." He chuckled and went on. "I don't know what the fuck.. how the fuck?" He sighed, "I don't know. I don't know how to help you. But I do know you'll get through this and I'm going to make sure I'm there for you. Now come on. Let's go to bed for a bit, I'm taking you to Harvey's once you get some more rest."

You didn't even protest about seeing Harvey. You knew you needed to, you couldn't do it alone. And you couldn't put all the pressure on Shane. He led you to bed, and just made sure you got comfortable. You wrapped your arms around him. And you cried. Not because you were sad, though you were sad. You cried because it was over. You weren't alone with it anymore. You cried because you knew you would be okay. Maybe not soon, but eventually. You would be okay. He hugged you tighter. He knew. Shane gave you a forehead kiss, and let you let everything out. For now, you could just lay in his arms and feel.

Please, again, reach out to someone if you struggle with self harm or suicidal ideation. It's extremely important, and I know it's hard. But things will get better.

An* I wrote this so late at night. And then i started almost crying when writing this because it was too emotional for tired me. And then I decided listening to Mitski when writing this would be a great idea. (Spoiler alert. It wasn't lmao)

An part 2* came back to this like the next day (2 days later??) And this is still very sad 🤠👍 I don't like making myself sad from my writing but I also can't stop. Send help/j

(Also ignore the random POV switch. Like read it, yes, but I know it was kinda short and random-)

Masterlist

[glassartpeasants]

Killer angst drabble cause why not

gn!reader

~~~

You knew how much Kid meant to him. It was obvious from the start of the relationship. Anywhere Kid went, Killer was right behind him. They were best friends since childhood so who were you to try and split them apart? But that didn't mean that it didn't hurt.

There's been countless times where Killer has ditched you for Kid. He wouldn't even notify you that he wouldn't show up, he'd just stand you up. You tried to explain to Killer that it hurt your feelings and if he could at least let you know that he wouldn't show up. It lead to a huge fight. Words were said, tears were shed and it ended up with you two breaking up for a week or two.

You tried to ignore the heartbreak cause you didn't want to make the crew uncomfortable. Hell you even talked to some people about leaving the Kid Pirates. After all, Killer was the reason you joined. So now that you two weren't a thing anymore, there was no reason to be on the Victoria Punk. The tension was too thick for you.

Yet the moment you had gotten ready to pack your bags, Killer approached you. He promised he'd do better and that you did mean something to him. You believed him the first two months but then he slowly started going back to how it was. Which left you to where you are now, watching the stars with your bag in you lap as you sit on the railing.

"The city lights look inviting doesn't it? It's a pretty city and island. Maybe I can stay here until a ship shows up to take me home." Your heart burned at the thought of never hearing Killer's voice again. Even if you didn't want to admit it, a small part of you had been ready to leave since the huge fight. Knowing you'd always be in second, third, and fourth place for Killer. You'd never be his first priority, no matter what happens.

"Not even a competition, and you still won Eustass Kid." Whispering to yourself, your aware of the tears slowly falling down your face. A sad little laugh leaves your lips as you wipe the tears away.

"Your crying." Jumping from the sudden noise, you snap you head around and see your soon to be ex.

"Yeah. I guess I am." A seconds silence fell over the two if you.

"What's wrong?"

"Just settling on my final decision." Even without seeing his face, you knew he was puzzled.

"Which is?" Taking a deep breath, you respond.

"That I'm breaking up with you." Killer’s body tensed at your words. The glassy look in your eyes had him realizing that this wasn't a joke or prank.

"I'm sorry Killer, I knew that Kid was super important to you when we got together and I thought I could handle you spending almost all your time with Kid. Unfortunately I've realized that I cant." Your lips tremble as you try to gently smile.

"I don't want you to lose a friendship you've had since childhood just cause of me." You feel the Victoria Punk start to move away from the island.

"S-Shit (Y/N) I'm sorry. I know I've been ditching you and that I promised that I stopped and you have every right to be mad-"

"I'm not mad. At least not anymore."

"But you should be! You should be mad! I made you a promise and I broke it after saying I'd change. Why aren't you yelling at me?! Why aren't you mad that I lied to you?!"

"Because I love you." Killer could feel his heart beating fast as the weight of his actions finally hit him. He tried to speak yet nothing came out.

"And that's why I have to go. Life is about living and learning. And we simply learned that we weren't meant to be. But that's okay, you'll finally someone who works out better for you." You start to put on your bag to get ready to jump off the ship and onto the dock the Victoria Punk was moving away from. Killer grabs your hand and pulls himself closer to you.

"I don't want someone else, I want you. You and only you. Give me another chance please (Y/N)." Facing Killer and his mask, you press a kiss to where his lips would be. Tears flow down your face knowing that's the last kiss you'd ever give him.

"I better see your name in the newspaper often." Slipping tour hand away from his quickly, you whisper one last thing before jumping on the very last edge of the dock.

"Goodbye Massacre Soilder Killer. I love you." You land on the dock and watch the Victoria Punk sail past the dock. And you watch with a heavy heart as Killer starts running to the end of the ship to catch you while screaming to stop the ship.

He looked at you and screamed your name as he sailed farther and farther away, watching you wave him goodbye with tears in your eyes.

[sanjisblackasswife]

hiii! I saw that you already did dad headcanons, but I was wondering how you think those same boys would react to hearing the news about their s/o being pregnant. And how would they break it to the crew?

A/N: OP Boys As Daddies Here! Enjoy!

Next part will have Cora and Law <3

Monster Trio React to Their S/O Being Pregnant (SFW)

Cw: VERY SLIGHT mentions of abortion

Black Fem Reader in Mind

Ft., Luffy, Zoro, Sanji

Sanji

I mean it was bound to happen.

Not saying Sanji has a breeding kink, but he has a breeding kink. He got with you and just didn’t know wtf pull out meant.

Plus he does not believe in condoms.

But none the less Sanji would be a treat to tell

It was after dinner and you and Sanji were talking as he cleaned and you wanted to let him know gently because he was a very dramatic man.

“Ji… how do you feel about kids?”

He answers you with glee, he loves kids, he always wanted to have a little family of his own with you once you all achieve your goals. It actually ends up calming the nerves you began to have.

You kept asking baby questions and eventually he turned around and caught on.

“Y/N…”

“Hm?”

“Y/n….what are you trynna tell me…”

“….”

“…”

“I am pr—-“

The words didn’t even come out of your mouth yet his eyes lit up like a light and he grabbed you tightly crying on your shoulder not even believing you at first until you brought him the pregnancy test.

He still has it btw.

Sanji somehow had a suspicion you were pregnant. He knows your body better than yourself, so even though he cried a little he was happy that his assumptions were correct.

You both didn’t even sleep that night, you just kept talking about your future. You had to hold him to keep him still he just couldnt stop jumping around

As for how you both announced the pregnancy he wanted to tell everybody at breakfast so he made a feast. When Robin asked what the occasion was he grabbed you by the hand and told everyone.

“Y/N and I….are pregnant.” :)

Luffy: Men can’t get pregnant…

“LUFFY!”

None the less it was super sweet and honestly you becoming pregnant changed him in a pleather of ways.

He became more mature, protective, vigilant, calm, and even slowed down on his simping for other women. Because now that you have his baby inside you

You both are his only focus now.

Zoro

He didn’t believe you but Chopper was the one to tell you both actually which was really cute because they both nearly fainted.

Also He actually doesn’t understand how you could have gotten pregnant

“UM???? YOU CUM IN ME EACH TIME?!”

“Yeah, but i thought after you take a shower it all comes out.”

Bless him

Though his reaction is a bit …delayed best believe he does become happy.

Shocked, but happy.

He will respect your decision whether you want to keep the baby or not but deep inside he hopes you keep it

But thank God you do!

You actually caught him doing that and teased him all day.

He becomes a damn menace though.

He steals parenting books from the library and reads them after training. Even though he acts like having a baby isnt a big deal he is internally panicking.

He wants the best for both you and the baby and it shows in the most annoying way though.

He doesnt even tell the crew yet because he believes them knowing would stress you out

However Zoro is doing that all alone himself

“What are you doing?”

“I cant get up?”

“Its not good for the baby!”

“….i have to pee….AND IM LIKE 2 WEEKS PREGNANT AND IT IS???”

The crew found out because Zoro was upset

You and Zo are known for drinking together alot but of course you stopped and plenty of people began to notice everytime you turned down a drink.

You were sitting on Zo’s lap by the fire with everyone and even Luffy was drinking except you.

“Y/N are you sick? Why arent you drinking?”

“She cant.”

“Why?”

“Because i said so, Luffy.”

“Youre not the boss of Y/N she can drink if she wanna—“

“SHE CAN’T IT’S NOT GOOD FOR THE BABY!”

Cue in the dramatics.

Zoro to this day slaps his head thinking about how harshly he made sure YOU and Chopper won’t spill but he ended up doing it himself.

But his worries were diminished realizing the amount of well support you both got from the crew since then.

Zoro puts your safety above his every single time and actually gets mad when you don’t listen.

He takes more care of hisself and he isn’t too reckless when he is fighting. For the first time in his life he knew his life was worth taking care of for his future family.

Luffy

Doesn’t get it, but he is a good sport

When you and Chopper tell him he just can’t understand???

“Who’s baby is it?”

“YOURS OBVIOUSLY!?”

“I thought you said if i pull out you wouldn’t get—“

“PULLING OUT BEFORE You ejaculate not AFTER—“

Not until you’re about 2 maybe 3 months and showing is when he finally registers he is going to be a dad.

Every month up until then he looks at you and wonders why you don’t drink, fight, or any thing that you usually do until FINALLY Law explains it to him like he’s 5.

Now that he is up to speed about you being pregnant he suddenly becomes pregnant?

You got cravings? So do Luffy.

You want cake and tacos at 2am

Bless Sanji heart because Luffy do too

He actually ends up gaining a little bit of weight but it wasn’t even noticeable really, he trains too the rubber man really just bulked up

Luffy was showing his concern of being a father to Robin alot. He didn’t want to worry you in thinking he didn’t want the kid especially if you were willing to rid of the baby if he suggested.

Overrall during pregnancy he intrust the crew to watch over you when he leaves. He has complete trust to make sure you are okay and well and healthy.

A few cute things is he will have some moments where he stretches out his belly to bump yours, talk to the baby, sing to it, and even place his hat on your tummy always reminding him or her that their daddy will be the king of the pirates.

You honestly believe you having this baby has matured him in ways you didn’t think was possible.

[brilliantfantasticgeronimo]

empire of death thoughts+reactions part 1

previously onnnn (super short sdlkfj)

HOP ON, COWBOY

sdlkjs morris a literal 13 year old having guns on his lil' scooter thing.is UNIT ok.

omg even the vlinx TOT

the birds will sings again!!!!!!

dust of death mmm delicious alliteration

"im sorry there's nothing we can do. we're dead" vibes

loving this action sequence ngl

WATCHA TALKING ABOUT

maybe is not [insert character]. maybe mrs flood is just an old lady who is Like This.

"my true name" "ur true maker" whats her true maker if not RTD!!! / clowning

"we've got worse problems" that's gonna come back to bite him skdfljdskl

does anyone remember the clara / 1 paintdoktahwho comic "dont take that one. take the tv"

thats what im thinking ot

(askdjlad UGH my iplayer stopped so i refreshed and while skipping to the place i think i spoiled my self for susan ?? TOT sutpid internet stupid preview skipping thumbnail function grrrr) im not a tardis smasher in general but the memory tardis….. would. maybe

"remember it harder" i would be a useless companion here tbh. memory of a goldfish.i would doom the earth.

IT'S A TV SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT'S TELLING THE STORY OF YOUR LIFE

I MADE A JIGSAW OF YOUR HISTORY SDKLFJSLKJF

AAAAAGHHH

sdflkdfj sutekh spining in the vortex. 2 cute

the temple……….. tardis as the thing in the hill meta INTENSIFIES

"so many secrest" um TIMELESS CHILD FUGITIVE MEMORIES FOBWATCH????

oh ok i jut got spoiled for the clip OF susan sdlkfjdskl FALSE ALARM FOLKS

"never yours again, never"

my angels of death………………..

"i find that good" i feel they did this same exact phrasing once for a "death is beautiful" monster like this but i cant remember which story?

also, flux? flux anyone? 13 vs entropy itself?

"i am an extinction event" OOF

(oh this clicks on why the doctor clings sm to living / immortality despite how much it hurts)

memory is a time machine TOT idk but that Hits Harder

"sutes" dlkjfslfk cute

"and doesnt it feel good?" holy shit

yayy mel's not dead yet

MEL GRABBING SIX'S COAT IM FINEIM FINE IM FINE

(idk why but that's what's made me cry slkfjsd)

"ruby roo" sdkljsfd

lasdkj if a regular tardis is 6 people driven then a memory tardis is probably meant to be piloted by every single doctor and companion ever

"meleanie b" TOT (doctor trait unlocked: when 15 is stressed he intensifies on the cutsey nicknames)

CHEKOV'S INGELLITEN GLOVE !!!!! damn i thought for a second about putting that on my bingo card but didnt skldfj

i like that the subtext of "when disaster comes, he's there" / "the tardis is an ommen of death" & "he has one constant companion… death" isn't literally being stated as being "sutekh did it lol" lol cause that would feel a lil cheap. i think instead rtd took a smarter choices of keeping that subtext, but keeping it that stricly speaking what sutekh did was just putting the susan copies everywhere.

73 yards……………

omg wait so in a memory tardis u can remmeber anything to existence………….. what if heiimagines susan at the end

(MOLECULAR BOND ROGUE CALL BACK?)

73 yards…………. HOW DO U KNOW THAT. I JUST DO. SHE'S JUST GOOD AT CONVERTING UNITS DAMN. LET RUBY BE GOOD AT UNIT CONVERSIONS DOCTOR.

ohh wait so this connects perception filters and 73 yards. put on a pin on that (and presumably……. taking down the perception filter is what happened re: ruby? that's why people ran away? people saw beyond her perception filter to the elderitch abomination bellow?)

"you've landed on earth a 100th times" is probably a huuude understimation lol

"she was reborn stronger each time. this monumental figure" dr. who as a cultural institution meta

shots outside the tardis my beloved

1999….. the movie... 2005 …. obvious. 1066 was the fire of london right? with 5?

this is rlly working for me ngl. dr who is all about death meta but it's literal but it's not

and a lso the whole. when u are a time traveler everyone is already dead. we must be like ghosts to u . etc etc

telos… THE OOD SPHERE noooo

mel being like "well…. at least 1% of the universe is fine. that's all right then" .

this |5 "it's all my fault" beat feels a lil' weird until u remember [all the traumas] / flux trauma and then it's like yeah i getchu doc i too take everything bad that happens as proof that it is my fault even tho, factually, it makes no sense as a reaction. trauma/depression girlies united.

THE SUN IS DEAD. rip 42's sun.

omg thank u sutekh for finally fixing that over-blue colorization in the unit set. not all heroes wear capes tbh.

aaaand the end.

fade to black.

doctor who is done! we can all go home and become trekkies everybody. congrats!

[redr0sewrites]

Overworking (Eris Vanserra x reader)

i love eris hes so underrated! this is incredibly self indulgent, but not very well proofread 😭 i havent written for acotar yet, lmk what u think! reqs are open!!

🥀CW: Angst to fluff, shitty writing, eris is sad, arguments, overworking

eris knew pain. his whole life, eris had suffered at the hands of his father and brothers and he never expected it to end, never dared to hope for anything good, knowing it could so easily be stripped away. nobody could care for a man as broken and horrid as eris vanserra, especially not someone as perfect as you.

you were eris' salvation, his perfect companion, mate, and lover. eris knew you were more precious then anyone or anything else, and many nights had been lost to his anxieties about your safety. if he lost you, he knew that he couldn't handle it, and yet it seemed so easy for you to slip through his fingers, disappear like so many other people in his life had. eris had watched the light inside his own mother fade as she became a soulless husk from being subjected to the horrors of his father, and he would rather die then watch the same happen to you. he wanted you safe, he wanted to push you away from the dangers of his court, and yet his heart ached for you every waking hour. you were too kind, too good for him.

the long hours of working under his father were beginning to break eris, even he was finding it difficult to hide behind the mask of the sneering and cruel son. the bags under his eyes were heavy, and he couldn't remember the last time he had slept. his stomach was nearly always empty, the thought of eating only made him feel worse. it was killing you to watch eris tear himself apart, and yet whenever you brought it up it always seemed to lead to eris lashing out. tonight was another night of waiting for him to join you in bed, staring at the illuminated crack between the door seperating your shared bedroom from his office. as the time ticked by, you just couldn't take it anymore, and stood, marching up to the door and opening it harshly. eris was sitting hunched over at his desk, his hair falling lazily across his face as he looked over some papers.

"we need to talk," you said sternly, his figure unmoving and stiff.

"can it wait?" he sighed, exasperated and clearly irritated at your interrupting of his work.

"no! no it cant wait! you have been overworking yourself for weeks, months even! i dont know whats gotten into you, but you need to stop, we need to talk about this! losing sleep and refusing to eat is not going to help you defeat your father, and if something or someone is causing an issue, then we should discuss it together!" you couldnt stop the words from tumbling out of your mouth, and your voice grew gradually louder before it came to a stop. you expected a reaction, expected him to stop his work or at least look at you. instead, he merely sighed, burying his head in his hands.

"this isnt easy for me either," he said, his voice dangerously soft. "perhaps if you werent always interrupting me, you would understand how difficult this is."

"so is that what i am? an interruption and nothing more? a nuisance for you to sway away?" you were angry now, and your words were heated and meant to hurt. eris' face shot up, and you could see the torment in his eyes.

"i.. i dont..." eris trailed off, leaving you feeling even worse then before. angry tears welled in your eyes, and you turn away to leave when his voice stops you.

"there are so many dangers that reside in this court, so many dangers that come with facing off with my father. i dont know how to solve these problems, i dont know how to keep you safe, i dont know anything anymore." his voice trembled, and his shoulders start to shake and shiver. too late, you realized he was crying. immediately you stepped towards him, swerving around the desk and wrapping your arms around him. eris buried his head in your chest, melting into your embrace and began to sob.

"please... please dont leave me. i cant lose you too" his words made your heart break, and you hugged him impossibly tighter and he did the same, as though fearful that yoh might disappear before his eyes if he were to let go. you whispered soft, sweet nothings to your lover as he wept, the stress and burdens of the past month leaving his mouth in garbled complaints, gasps, and sobs. you ran your hands through his hair, gently holding him as his crying began to subside and he stilled in your arms. for a few seconds, you both just sat there as he matched his breathing to yours, finding peace within your presence.

"do you want to talk about it?" you ask, voice gentle and concerned.

"not right now," he mumbled. "i jus' want to sleep." you chuckle at his confession, and begin to stand. he follows you to the bedroom, and the two of you curl up on the bed. as the both of you begin to drift off to sleep, eris cant help but feel a surge of gratitude for your kindness and patience. eris may know suffering, and he may face more in the future, but at least he has you at his side to support him.

rahh this sucks so bad but i love him sm. hes so silly and underrated aksnksd i love my little fox man. i promise i can write better then this im just tired and in pain guys ajdjdn ANYWAYS HOPE U ENJOYED REQS ARE OPEN I WILL WRITE MORE FOR ERIS THE LOML SOON👹👹👹

[killerlookz]

Hey, little late to the party, just wanted to say It Can’t Be That Easy was such a banger!  It really made it clear to me how much guilt Joost has. Like, you were telling us this whole time, especially in No Going Back, but now I really gEt it. Legit didn’t know I could read bro comforting reader about hickies he got from another girl and still be like awwww he cares about them so much🥺

Can’t stop thinking about how Joost is so sweet and caring for drunk reader while Michael is such a dick about them drinking at all. 

When he says stuff like "You deserve this. And more, just sorry I'm showing you that so late." it makes me think him and reader could be less toxic if they got back together. Idk maybe I’m crazy. It’s written that both of them contributed to their problems but that Joost seemingly did so a little bit more. Are you hinting that he’s learning? That he wants to do better? That the process of breaking up and the messy extended ensuing events of the series are all a learning process?? The process they need to learn they want to be better to each other (and that there is no one else they want to be better for 👀)???  Or am I delulu and it’s all just about guilt? 😂

Praying that Joost learns to communicate exactly what he’s actually thinking🙏

If you cant tell, I’m one of those people who always wants happy endings so perhaps just ignore me. Only you know what the vision is. I just want the best for these hoes. Maybe they can find a less toxic way to be around each other if they really can’t stay away😩😂

Also, I’m guessing Lina wasn’t so happy he took reader home😂 Is he seeing Lina and/or other people during the rest of the series too? Curious 🤔 (even if he was making out with her in the bathroom he did nOt want to meet her friends and did nOt want to leave the couch to go dance with her later so I wonder how much she is just a distraction from how crushed he is and it doesn’t last)

Man, I keep thinking even if reader’s relationship with Joost was toxic Michael is so much worse wth. The cuck chair in every hotel room was designed specifically for Michael.

This was long. No need to respond. Just needed to flail at you. Heartbeat! au has me by the throat.

P.S. If a mf talked about me like I wasn’t there like Lina did about reader on the couch there would be a physical altercation. Reader is strong.

P.S.S. ‘You peek your head from the room, then step out, feeling like a child walking to your parents bedroom to tell them you just threw up.’ Is hiLARious 😂

P.S.S.S. ‘“Not worth crying over. Wasting tears." The idea of wasting tears had never made much sense to you, what were you meant to save them for? Something important? This was important, Joost was important, your relationship was important- and you had ruined it. That was worth crying over.’      You are KILLING me dude

P.S.S.S.S. ‘You had thought things were supposed to get better after breaking off a toxic relationship, not worse.’ Is DEVASTATING WTFFFF this could be the tag line for the entire series I swear

thank you so much for your inbox this is so sweet 😭 thank you for taking the time out of your day to write all this omfg i love reading everyone’s thought so <333

yes joost is SAURRR guilty thru this whole series … like …. sooo guilty …. so so guilty … poor little guy :-( or not poor guy … maybe he shouldn’t have fucked up the first time … oops

- as for joost seeing other girls throughout the series … well this does take place in his “fuckboy” era so…… 😇

- THE CUCK CHAIR IN EVERY HOTEL ROOM WAS DESIGNED FOR MICHAEL??? im fucking dead plssss 😭

- hmmm…. altercation between lina and reader… much to think about!

anyways thank you for your kind words <333 mwa

[addsalwayssick]

“You look beautiful, Remus” She had said. Her hand trailed his chest to his back and all over again. She whispered sweet words, full of love and passion. “You’re gorgeous” She breathed into his ear. “You’re lovely” She groaned. Remus didn’t say anything back. He couldn’t. He was busy reading in his sweater while she was wearing a revealing dress that revealed a little too much cleavage for his liking.

She tried to weasel her way in his lap, slipping over his book and throwing her arms around his neck, kissing him deeply. Remus couldn’t do it. Not when he was thinking of him.

The him, the one.

and she says you look beautiful tonight

He liked Nymphadora, he really did. Just not how she wanted him to love her. He liked to spend time with her, but not like how she wanted to spend time with him. He preferred sitting and talking about things they enjoyed, sipping tea. She preferred whispered nothings in ears, breathless moans, and being driven over the edge a bit too hard.

and i feel perfectly fine

But Remus didn’t like that with her. He felt love for her as something of a friend. There was only one person who he wanted to whisper things in his ear, moan at something particularly good he was doing, and be driven over the edge by.

but i miss screaming and fighting

They loved each other. Remus and Sirius. They had a different type of love. It was complicated, messy, chaotic, but real. It was an emotional and sensitive. It felt like what love should feel like. But Sirius had told Remus something that broke Remus’s heart. “I wish you were a girl.” He said after a year of being together. He had his hand on his cheek and was crying.

and kissing in the rain

He missed the intimate nights of them being together. He missed the moonlit kisses they had. He missed Sirius.

and it’s 2 am and i’m cursing your name

The last night they were together they both went to bed crying. “What do you mean, you wish I was a girl?” Remus asked through gritted teeth. Remus knew what he meant.

“I just mean I love you but you’re not the type of person I should be dating.” Sirius said, a tear running down his face.

Remus felt his face heat up in embarrassment. He jerked away from Sirius’s hand. “How could- How-“ He didn’t finish.

“Remus I-“

“No.” Remus said. He packed his bag in the night. He didn’t come back. Not for 4 months.

So in love that you act afraid

“Dora.” Remus said, stopping Nymphadora (or Tonks, as she preferred)

Tonks stopped, her dress was coming up and her lipstick was smeared. “Yes?” She asked.

“I cant do this.” He said, his voice breaking. “I love you but i’m not in love with you.” He told her, closing his eyes. Tonks leaned and kissed his nose softly.

“I know.” She said, her voice was sad but understanding. “Go get him.” She said.

Remus didn’t need to be told twice. As soon as he made sure Tonks was ok, he went outside and slipped into his car. The night was inky and the moon was waning.

He arrived at the shared house with christmas lights strung up all around. There were two cars in the driveway, and one motorbike. He recognized one car as James and the others as Sirius’s. He didn’t recognize the motorbike.

His thoughts started to control him. ‘Does he have a girlfriend now?’ He asked himself.

He didn’t move for awhile until the rain started falling. He told himself it was then or never. He walked stiffly up to the door and knocked once, twice. Sirius opened the door, his head turned back. He was smiling when he turned around but it dropped the moment he saw Remus.

“Remus.” He said, his voice breaking.

“Sirius.” Remus choked. “I’m sorry.” Remus didn’t really know what he was apologizing for. Leaving? Coming back?

“Remus.” Sirius said again, this time sounding on the verge of tears.

“I’m so sorry. Sirius, I’m sorry I left, I’m sorry I came back, and I’m sorry i’m intruding your time with your girlfriend but I-“ Remus started.

“Girlfriend?” Sirius asked.

“Yeah I saw the motorbike and I assumed-“ Remus said.

Sirius rolled his eyes and grumbled a few words that sounded like ‘bloody idiot’ before grabbing the front of Remus’s shirt and kissing him.

Remus kissed back. This was unlike a lot of their kisses. This was soft and warm despite the cold rain pattering on the sidewalk around them.

Sirius released him and swore. “You’re wet. Come in.”

The rest of the night they spent kissing, and watching movies, and whispering I love you’s in the dark.

and that’s the way i love you

[itsmarsss]

me reading the chapter actuauly

ogm omfgdsjg; d i cant this is so much blitzo constantly thinking of readers words and them lingering in his mind omg i need them to make up i cannot stand this wht he hell he think that no one will be there to cross out the o but i guarantee reader with her saggy ass and titties (as an old lady) would cross the rings to do so

him hating the weekend sfngdg i canot your depictions of him feel so in character it makes me think you are a writer for the show i cannot believe that this fic is literally changing my life (for the better) ofmfks

SEEING THAT TEY TEXTED CONSISTENLY AND IT MADE HIM NOT HATE WEEKENDS AS MUCHDSG and they made it a habit to spend the weeksends together to hate them less i cannot stnat this omsg my heart

"Maybe it’ll be in one of those days when he’ll be climbing up Stolas’ balcony and then he’ll slip and fall and break all his bones only to be found dead on the grass surrounded by ball gags and anal plugs" this took me out SO BAD lmfao i just stared at my screen like

BUT THEN IMEDDIENYL HAD TO TURN AWAY BC OF THE "PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT FOLDER"

mars when i actch you mars i will fnaf jumpscare you irl this is not it. BABRIE AND HIS MOM WHAT IF I BROKE DOWN??? THEN YOU FOLLOW IT UP WITH "blitz is a 35year old single father who kills people...But in this moment… he just wants his mama." LIKE??? HOW DARE YOU ???? THAT IS SUCH A SORE SPOT BC I FEEL LIKE CRYING EVERYTIME I HEAR AB OLD POPEL MISSING THEIR PARENTS AND IT SLIKE FUGHG crying as i think ab it actually whi cant stand this

then his thought process the whole party omg he literally just wanted an escape to not feel. i cant do this anymore him asking loona to call him dad i crided

then when they leave he pulls out his phone to draw and i jsut sdjfdg i died

NOW FOR THE CONVO WITH STOLAS?? UFHH you probably grabbed it from the many ss of their messages that are shown but still omg his immediate backtracking made me want to pull my hair out bc no thats not how you talk UGHHH

then him asking loona if she would be there when he is old and she is like "ill be there dad" i cant i fucking hate this show why would they do that to me (then he vomits)

literally me after reading blitz portion

FIZZ FIDNING READER OGM he must've felt bad bc he was liek "fuckk that was the chick with blitz and stolas oph shit fuck cock"

reader having no one other than ozzie (in that moment) to go to ufhg (get this woman some friends) and their whole convo what if i

her asking ozzie if he thinks she stupid bc blitz words are echoing in her mind just as much as hers did in his omg i need them to kiss and make up please someone grow communcation skills FUCKING

stolas message with her is so late i cant stand this i think i wills start fcrying again

also her expecting a "fuck you" message from blitz only to get something that made her feel better mars stop this

this is madness when i get you i am shaking you really hard LMFAO

anyways those are my thoughts plz tell my u times this bc idk how long this took

this is the most in-depth comment anyone's ever sent me for my writing and i actually wanna cry

every time you talk about how invested in this you are and how much you love it i feel like crying djmdjmvjfk its just like i cant believe someone would care enough to leave me THIS this is so cool and so fucking nice!!

the thing about how he used to hate weekends because it meant he'd be alone and how he stopped hating them once reader came into his life came from a little blurb thingy i never ended up posting, and i felt it fit right into this chapter!

i liked writing this one a lot because the chaos in blitzos head allowed me to be all over the place and cover a lot of different stuff at once lol it was pretty cool

whenever anyone says something abt my writing being really in character it makes me feel so proud i just get so happy that it feels like ya know im taking these characters people care so much for that they're reading fanfiction about them and writing them from my perception and its so cool to have people feel like im doing them justice!!

the death with the sex toys part was a... choice lmao i thought it'd be funny to use the way blitzo's thoughts are all over the place to convey how easily they go from dumb thoughts to really depressive ones

oh the asking loona to call him dad again was added just to hurt yall i wont make excuses its there to be evil lol

yeah the convo w stolas was mostly taken out of the texts we see in stolas' phone in western energy, but i altered a few things here and there but yeah omfg what always got me with those texts is exactly that. like hes so so desperate to have things be okay he backtracks everything he's trying to say just to not feel that blitz is mad at him

i thought i could also add the layer of blitzo beeing too drunk to reply properly which is another reason for the texts to seem so cold

and ohhh yeah the thing with fizz finding her is that its both a 'fuck what i did hurt this girl' and also that kind of 'idk what to do rn' feeling of interacting with your partner's friends who you're not close enough to to have like a real conversation with lol

yeahhh im glad it was possible to catch that lol the chapter was v blitzo centered so we go through reader's pov of things very wuickly but yeah what blitz said abt her kept echoing in her mind just as much as what she said to him did in his!!

i thought the whole 'expecting a fuck you' thing would be fun to add in considering he does consider sending her a fuck you text in the beginning of the chapter lol

and seriously i think having the doodle there instead of just a description of it made it all so much more motional thank you so so much for it!!! i hope you liked the birthday gift!!!! happy birthday babes!!!!!

[late-tothe-party-07]

Nerding out about Rise Movie

(Yes I am aware Im late. That's my whole brand. Shut.)

Anyway. This is specifically about the last bits cause of course it is.

*ahem *

Cant find a GIF but yknow that bit, when Leo tells Casey to basically pull the plug, to let him die, and the kid grabs the key to do so. But he doesnt do it right away and you can see the struggle so clearly its amazing.

Theres Casey knowing he will be the cause of losing Leo again, in such a short time. He doesnt want to. This is his father figure/uncle. This is one of the only comforts he knew and he has to be the one to kill it. And then there's resolve that its the right thing to do.

Its almost like Casey was trying to impersonate Future Leo, a person he looked up to, who made hard choices for the good of everyone.

But then the bravery is gone, crumbling at his feet and Casey doesnt want to make the hard choice. This is still a kid. This is still someone who a few hours earlier had watched his world die. Every last bit of it.

He doesn't even look when he finally does it. And he doesn't stay put and pull, he runs away.

-

The moment the portal shuts Leo stops fighting.

The moment his brothers are safe he just stops.

There is no brave front, no stoic decree that he will make the Kraang's life hell or take revenge somehow more than he has. He's done.

However almost everyone I see writing this bit in fanfics always makes it sound like he didn't care about dying and that isn't true. He wants to live. He's crying, wanting his family to hold him and be in the good times again so he holds onto the picture. But he's genuinely too tired to do much and he knows there's nothing he can do anyway. Doesn't mean he doesn't still want there to be.

Who says sacrifices arent scared of dying?

-

The fact the boys gave it everything they got and all the Kraang had to do was flick a finger. That is terrifying and such an awesome way to display the villain's power. They have no hope of defeating it, and its not hard to see how the Kraang took over the world in a different timeline. To have the turtles do all that and it to be brushed away as a little less than an inconvenience. Horrifying. Good job.

-

Call it talking about something obvious, but I love the scenes we see that we thought was the end, with Leo gone forever. Cause at that point the world was saved, people were probably celebrating if they could see it happening, but to our heroes there was no victory. To them the end is as devastating as if they had lost. The background behind Casey as he clutches Leo's sword is the same red he grew up with, where death and loss and fear was as common as air.

Donnie is crying, and he shakes his head as he realizes cause no, this cant be reality. This wasn't in his plans. He denies the tears because that means its hurting. And if it's hurting that means that it happened.

Raph is on the ground cause he is the big brother, meant to protect them, and he failed. The grief is piled on by guilt and anger and sorrow and the need to do something but he can't and its too heavy. Even he can't carry all of it.

-

Fun little tidbit to finish but I love how when Mikey opens a portal to get Leo back, Raph and Donnie also take some of the backlash to that power. Its also a little funny that its the two turtles who were dead when he opened the time gateway, especially since Ninpo is stronger when they are united as a family and he opened that portal alone.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk

[ubblemom]

Second Chances (c!Techno x Reader)

Past memories with look like this Warnings: a TINY bit of angst in the begining, swearing, use of y/n, i think thats it

I dont know why I listened to him. He promised me that he would change, that he would get out of his old ways. BUT WHAT DID HE DO THE VERY NEXT FUCKING DAY.

When I woke up, i heard tnt, yelling, the works I looked around for Techno but of course he wasnt there. I got dressed as fast as I could to run out there. I couldnt see from all of the smoke. I somehow find Niki and ask her "Whats going on?"

I didnt even stick around for the answer because the next thing I say was bright pink hair. I saw him standing next to Phil grabbing is stuff, I ran up to him and started to scream and cry.

"You promised!"

"y/n please calm down."

"NO, you lied to me, promised me that you would stop, you promised that you would change" I could see the hurt in his eyes, all i wanted to do was run and hug him but I just couldn't. I could feel everyone's eyes on us but I couldn't care less in this moment.

"Please just let me explain, Y/n Please"

"You know what! Every shoulder you've leaned on is the one you will turn on Techno!" and with that I just started running, I ran all the way back to our house, packed a bag, and wrote a letter saying "I need some time alone. I am safe. I have a place to go. I will comeback when I am ready. Please do not come looking Techno.", and I just left. I found a village in the plains that I liked, so for now this will be my home...

Present day... (1 yr and 1/2 later)

I was making breakfast when I something drop at my front door, I went to open my door and I saw a crow flying away and a letter... I could only wonder who this is from.

It said

"I know you probably don't want to hear from me but I would like you to come over for tea tomorrow. I told Techno that he had to stay inside of his house and not even look out the windows when you come because I know that you do not want to see him. I would like you to know that ever sense that day, he has not had a incident at all. I really miss you so PLEASE come tomorrow 12pm at (insert cords). I hope to see you

Sincerely,

Philza Minecraft

I think it would be nice to see Phil again so I think I will go. It might be time to talk to him again.

At Phil's house...

Am I absolutely scared? Yes I am, I knocked on the door and he answered

"Y/n!"

"Hi Phil, its so good to see you again!"

"You as well! come in, come in, I think we have a lot to talk about"

I took a seat on his couch and he brought me some tea.

"I think this is the comfiest chair I have ever sat on" I hear him laugh from the kitchen.

"You know, I try my best" he says

"How have you been? Your house look amazing"

"Ive been doing well, finally got Tommy out of my house. I finally got the crows under control."

"Took you long enough."

We kept talking, then I asked the long awaited question.

"How has he been since I left?"

"He's trying his best. I think it physically broke him after you left. I know he finally realized that his actions have consequences. The next day we had a heart to heart conversation. He told me that he knows he really messed up, he realized how much you actually meant to him."

When tea is over..

"You and the boys, should come over this Saturday. I have somebody I think that you all would love to meet. And yes Techno can come as well if he would like to."

"Well I cant wait to meet who ever that is Y/n. We will all be there."

[crushculture03]

Chapter 21

The next morning jules woke up to a whispered conversation happening between charli and george. "Where was he last night george? He didn't even care to text her, he just left her in the blue" charli said, "He left with jade I think they went out to a bar, i saw them get into a car and then thats the last i saw of him until this morning" he responded back, "I'm going to kill that twat, doesn't he know he has a girlfriend? Who he claims he loves, what is he doing messing around with this girl? Is he a complete idiot?" she responded back, anger evident in her voice.

" I don't know, i'm going to talk to him about it because this is ridiculous, hes one of my bestfriends but this is such a dick move on his part, I cant believe him" george groaned. "Let me know how it goes, i'll be here with jules " charli resopnded.

Soon jules heard the door open and close signaling george had now left, she quickly shut her eyes pretending like she was still sleeping and didn't just hear their conversation. She felt a dip in the bed as charli sat down next to her, jules opened her eyes and slowly sat up to face her friend. "Hey jj how you feeling?" charli asked her friend, "A bit better, I want to talk to him charli I can't hide forever and i love him, if theres any way we can fix this then I'm willing to do it" jules responded, and got out of bed.

"If thats what you want then I can't stop you, just be careful and know I'm here if you need anything ok?" charli said, getting up to embrace the blonde. Jules smiled and hugged her friend back, "Thank you Charli i appreciate it, I'll let you know how it goes" and with that jules grabbed the last of her things, and nervously made her way to her and mattys room.

She hesitantly turned the door handle, slowly, she opened the door to reveal her boyfriend sitting on the bed with his head in his hands. His head popped up when he heard the sound of the door closing, "Jules?" he asked, "Hi matty" she responded and walked further into the room. She sat down next to him, her heart beating out of her chest, "I'm so sorry baby, I don't know what I was thinking, well truly i wasn't thinking I was so stupid and i'm sorry" matty said.

Jules felt tears brim her eyes, but refused to let any fall as she responded "Yeah you weren't thinking matty, you didn't even care that i left yesterday, not one text or call came in from you, and while you were partying it up with jade I was crying in Charlis arms because my boyfriend was out with another girl and completely ignored me" she responded, a few tears fell from her eyes from the anger she was feeling. "I'm sorry julie, I wish I could take it back I really do, fuck I'm so stupid I'm so sorry" he pleaded with the girl.

The rational part of her brain told her to break up with him, she knew she shouldnt forgive him, but love messes with your brain and blinds you from the right decision sometimes. "I forgive you, but i swear to god matthew healy if you pull that shit again, we're through" she firmly responded, he nodded his head and pulled her into hug. Jules reluctantly hugged him back, part of her mind telling her this was a mistake, but her heart wanted him back so thats what she did.

"Why don't I take you out when we get to leeds? I know we have a travel day today and can't really do anything, but let me make it up to you tomorrow, is that ok?" matty asked, looking up at jules with hopeful eyes. She nodded her head "Yeah that sounds great matty" she said, and smiled widely. "Here let me get your stuff " matty said, getting up and picking up her and his suitcase. "Thanks Matty" she said, "Jules really I am sorry, I can't believe i was so fucking stupid, you know I love you right" he said walking up to her, he quickly dropped the suitcases and pulled her into him.

Jules looked up at her boyfriend, she could see he meant what he was saying when he apologized, truthfully she wanted to just drop the topic it happened and she just wanted to forget it.

She leaned forward and kissed him "I love you too matty, lets just drop it ok? I wanna be over it" she responded, matty nodded his head in response "Yeah of course". "Good, now lets head out, don't want to be late" she said, as she was about to pull away, matty pulled her back in and kissed her passionately, "Thats to make up for missing last nights kiss". Jules blushed, "well thank you babe" she giggled, "But seriously now we gotta go, jaime is blowing up my phone" she said, and as if on que her phone started to vibrate signalling that he was texting her. "Yeah lets head out" and with that matty picked the suitcases back up and the two headed down to the lobby.

A/N : next chapter will be heartbreaking for the two just a heads up it's gonna be intense