#gonna do day 9 and 10 in a new post bc this ones long enough already

[nqueso-emergency]

it's gonna be long but i'm so tired of this lame shit.

stop doing this "both sides are bad" bullshit. both sides have bad apples but hell should not put bad bucktommys in the same "bad" category as people who is:

1. an owner of a big news acount inciting bully and harrassment to a queer black teenager because they got accused of creating a new news account when it's actually a buddie who made that account, and guess what, never appologized!

2. a person who infiltrate a discord space and getting informations like age and sexuality from people out of that discord to X/twitter and let the cult bullying and calling the discord's people "hags"

3. made a tumblr blog dedicated just for wishing harm and death on a fictional character

4. orchestrated on creating some horrible fanfictions with the wrong tags about a fictional character being a child abuser and child killer, and sent the links of those fanfictions to the fans of said fictional character through inboxes

5. changing a fluff ficlet of a ship created by a fan to a horrible abuse story and sending it to so many fans of the ship through inboxes

6. harassing artists by reuploading art on other social media just for your cult to shit on the art

7. creating a fanart and draw a fictional character as a monster and using the term "lizard people" (but hey they got rewarded!)

8. harassing multishippers for creating fanarts and fanfictions for the newer ship

9. sending phising links and reporting as spam to a positivity project

10. you can check on Lou Ferrigno Jr's latest post on X/Twitter about him swallowing an apple sticker and see how many wishes of harms and deaths you can find on the quotes and the replies

11. throwing tantrums and sending threats to THE showrunner over a scene that didn't included on the final cut (the scene not even significant enough to the whole episode arc:((()

12. recorded an X/Twitter space when the black fans there expressing their disappointment about people (actors included)'s treatment toward a certain actor with racism history during blm, putting the recording out so the cult could harrass the fans who's talking in the said space

there are bad apples on bucktommys side. even sometimes i think maybe i am one of the bad apples. but i love how bucktommys never holding back for calling out someone's bad behavior even it's from their own side. so i'm always grateful that i'm on bucktommys side. oh, for all of those points of bad behavior above, we have receipts, bcs we would never speak without receipts.

P. S. certain group of shipper could made a team to investigate who nqueso-emergency actually is but not one of them move to investigate who are these people orchestrating csa fics and made their community look bad? shocker!!!

P. S. S. points of bad behaviors above is mostly about their treatment toward other fans and real life person. i'm not getting deep into their treatment toward fictional characters on the show, especially their treatment toward a certain gay character because when we tried to call them out, they just twist it to "hAtinG on a rAciSt aNd mYsOgIniSt chArActEr iS hoMOpHoBic noW?". well, honey, that character is already change to a better person now and he stated that he's not a good person back then. you know who's homophobic, now? yes! YOU ARE!

thank you for your your service, nqueso, have a great day. and i love you, bucktommys! we'll get through this🫶🏽

[bonecarversbestie]

I'm doing this tag bc i've never done one before. thx @zenkindoflove for always tagging me in these even tho i never do them pls don't stop.

Doing this tag feels a little funny since i'm so new to writing and i only have 2 fics, but here we go

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 2

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 23,375

3. What fandoms do you write for? ACOTAR

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?  whelp this is awkward bc i only have two 😅

The Scenic Route(Elucien multichapter WIP)

Reverie(Elucien week oneshot)

5. Do you respond to comments? Yes! I literally sit by my computer after i post waiting for them to come in bc i love attention.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? N/A. All my angst is in the beginning/middle. my endings are all happy so far.

(Although, I do have a bullet point in my fic ideas file that is a Haunting of Hill House rewrite but Autumn Court/Forest house, and if you've ever read the book, you know that calling the ending "angsty" would be an understatement)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? So Reverie is very short and is sorta set after Elucien have already had their happy ending(in more ways than one ;) The ending of the Scenic Route is also happy and it took way more work to get there, so I'd say that one.

8. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I'm like the writing equivalent of a toddler right now--I'm still learning to write regular stuff haha. I want to write smut one day, but need to take my baby steps to get there. Even when i do, though i think it will not be as explicitly descriptive of the acts themselves, but more emotionally driven (I really like the style of the sex scenes in Song of Achilles if that gives you the vibe)

9. Do you write crossovers? I don't think i'm creative enough for that tbh

10. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope. maybe one day.

11. Have you ever co-written a fic before? I have not. I don't even know how that would work esp bc i am a control freak, but i'll never say never.

12. What is your all-time favorite ship? I have a handful of OTPs the primary one right now is obviously Elucien, but I have a special place in my heart for The Doctor and River Song(Doctor Who) and Dramione(who i never really shipped when reading the books, but this was the ship that got me into fanfiction and now i'm addicted)

13. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? So my Current WIP is already completely drafted, i just have to edit and post it, so i'm not worried. I do have an outline of a really long High King Lucien fic started that i worry i won't finish before their book comes out (and that once their book comes out i won't be motivated to write it any more, but we'll see)

14. What are your writing strengths? This is hard because i'm so new to writing, i feel like i don't have any strengths yet, but I'm gonna say dialogue, because it's what i enjoy writing the most. most of my first drafts are very dialogue driven and i fill in the story around the conversations

15. What are your writing weaknesses?  Internal monologues/explaining characters emotions. I tend to leave out details/explanations of a character's feelings because I know what they're feeling and i just expect the reader to inherently know everything that I know even though it's impossible.

16. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I love when people do this, but my spanish and french are both so rusty i don't feel confident enough to try. Maybe some latin in future works for spells and stuff, but in terms of dialogue, probably not.

17. First fandom you wrote for? Acotar! I only just started writing in June of this year, so i haven't had the chance to write for other fandoms yet, but i'd like to eventually.

18. Favorite fic you’ve written? The Scenic Route! i mean i only have two to choose from--and i have a soft spot for Reverie since it was the first fic i ever posted--but I've put a lot of time and love into The Scenic Route, and I'm excited to finish sharing it. ❤️

~*~

I'm not tagging anyone bc i don't know anyone(who wasn't already tagged). 😬

[not-scared-of-microwaves]

The Tortured Poets Department Review

Now that I've sat with it for a few days, I actually have some coherent thoughts on TTPD, though I won't know where it falls in my overall rankings for a while.

Overall

The thing people aren't getting is that this is Taylor Swift. This is, quite honestly, one of the most quintessentially Taylor albums she's ever released. It has the lyricism of Folklore, the sensibilities of Evermore, the self-awareness of Reputation, the storytelling of Fearless, the specificity of Debut and Speak Now, the vagueness and metaphors of 1989, the synths of Midnights, the rawness of Red. It's American Gothic. It's fictional. It's nonfiction. It's confessional, it's scathing, it's cringe, it's clever, it's more than a little crazy.

She admitted things in this album you couldn't waterboard out of me. People say it's the most unlikeable she's been, but it's also the most human. She's not censoring herself to keep her likeability. That's brave.

Fortnight [feat. Post Malone]

Do I like it? Yes. Do I think it should have been the album opener and the lead single? No, probably not. I'm planning on doing a track by track breakdown later, so I'm not going to go in depth on the lyrics here, but there are some interesting metaphors. You can tell she thinks she's slaying the "I want to kill her" line, and while she is, I don't think she's serving as much as she thinks. A vibe. On my playlist but not on repeat. 7/10

The Tortured Poets Department

The title track. This should have been the opener and lead single. It makes a much better mission statement for what this album is than Fortnight does. Who's gonna hold you like Taylor Swift? No fucking body. The production is.... twinkly? for lack of a better word. She's being specific and metaphorical, making cultural references, and she's self-aware--this is Taylor Swift, people. A vibe. Not on repeat, but only because I have others I prefer, not because I don't love it. 9/10

My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys

It's a metaphor, it's tongue in cheek, it's self-aware, it's heartbreaking, it's a bop. She knows the relationship is toxic and killing her, but it wasn't always, and so she keeps holding on hoping it will go back to the way it started. At the end, she accepts that it won't be going back. Lyricism? Peak. Beat? Peak. On repeat. 10/10

Down Bad

Incredibly real and human. She's reflecting on the feelings of being love bombed then left behind, how it feels so good until it really, really doesn't. A call back to New Romantics. The lyrics say sob, the beat says dance. 10/10 on loop.

So Long London

A track five. Does it live up to the name? I'm not sure. It's sad, certainly, but it doesn't have the rawness of All Too Well or My Tears Ricochet. It's more resigned and tired. She's accepted that the relationship has fallen apart and now she's just tired, frustrated, and ready to be done. Even if she's sad, she still has some control, and that makes it a little easier. Drags on a little long for me, but the flip of "so long" is definitely clever, and she has some very relatable lyrics, and I see the purpose to it being on the album. 7/10.

But Daddy I Love Him

Love Story's older sibling. Again, I won't get too into it bc I want to do a breakdown. She's self-aware but it doesn't help because she's just desperate to make her own decisions. Calling out conservatives and small-town churches. Cringe in places but that's our girl. Minus a point for the baby lyric being in the chorus instead of like. the bridge. Half a point back bc you SHOULD have seen my face. 9.5/10.

Fresh Out The Slammer

This has some juicy information, but I'll save that for the breakdown. Very metaphorical, but also specific enough we know what's going on. Excellent story-telling. Really brings us into the headspace she was in at the time. I don't have it on repeat but through no fault of it's own. 10/10.

Florida!!! [feat. Florence and the Machine]

Flop. The drug metaphor isn't that creative and while there are a few decent lyrical moments, it's just not that good and the soundscape isn't interesting enough to redeem it. That said, even a bad taylor swift song is better than a lot of other artists. 5/10.

Guilty As Sin?

I don't think I've ever heard a song approaching this issue (emotional infidelity) in this way. It's got all the hallmarks of a Taylor Swift song: pop culture references, references to her past discography, religious symbolism, an outro that matches the intro. It's painfully honest, unapologetic, and human. A bop. 10/10.

Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?

Mad Woman and Mirrorball are shaking in their boots. It's giving horror, it's giving Salem Witch Trials, it's giving a reflection on fame and its effects. It's terrifying, it's haunting, it's beautiful, it's heartbreaking, it's unhinged. 10/10 doesn't feel like high enough.

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)

We're at the saloon and I'm happy to be there. Another song that is quintessentially Taylor: country sensibilities, religious themes, self-awareness, story telling, change in the outro, bad decisions made out of love. Not my favorite but only because I like other songs better, not because I don't like it. 9/10.

loml

This may be the saddest song she's ever written. Two meanings to "loml" as there should be. She's heartbroken and it's breaking me too. Vocals are giving "I'm on the verge of tears." Story telling, religious themes, metaphors. It's scathing, it's haunting, it's confessional. I'm not crying you are. 10/10.

I Can Do It With A Broken Heart

Lyrics are giving heartbreak, sound is giving bop. So powerful and relatable. Excellent storytelling, and tells us so much about her headspace. We know exactly what she's talking about. It's giving Youre On Your Own Kid. 10/10.

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived

The storytelling, imagery, details--all peak Taylor. It's scathing, it's haunting, it's Taylor Fucking Swift. Wild to me that Mattie Healy's family listened to the album and were relieved because it could have been worse when this was in it. This, the take town of the century, could have been worse. Legendary. 10/10.

The Alchemy

If one more person tries to claim this is about Travis Kelsey there will be blood. "Oh but the football metaphor--" she's been doing that for years. Miss Americana, anyone? She's weirdly obsessed with high school football. This isn't about Travis, it's clearly about a rekindled relationship, not a new one. Travis can't spell "heroine" (I don't think he's stupid, but his tweets have proven he cannot spell). Metaphorical, clever, and definitely tells us her mindset. A bop. 9/10.

Clara Bow

This song. The Lucky One, Nothing New, they're both shaking in their boots. A reflection on what it's like to be a pop culture woman, the lies they tell you, and the promises they pull from you. Taylor saying her own name in a song. AND it's the album closer. 10/10 isn't nearly good enough.

Extended Album

The Black Dog

The storytelling, the way she took a single moment of stalking her ex and turned it into a beautiful lament on what it's like to lose someone and imagine what they're doing now, then in the outro brought it back to that one instant--and people say she can't write. Religious themes, references to past songs, this has it all. 10/10

imgonnagetyouback

Before people go around accusing her of copying Olivia Rodrigo, this would have been written before Get Him Back came out, so no copying occurred on anyone's part. They each took the concept and turned it into two very different songs. Imagery, story telling, craziness, a BRIDGE. 9/10.

The Albatross

Story telling, metaphors, literary references, clever turns of phrase, a change of meaning in the outro. Either a reflection on the way she's frequently depicted or is fictional, most likely a reflection on the way she's depicted through a fictional character. Just feels a little distant to me. 8/10

Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus

Heartbreak, metaphors, bisexuals--what more can I ask for? All while she's imagining her ex moving on and thinking about how it fell apart. Objectively good but just not that interesting to me. 7/10

How Did It End?

Another that's objectively good but just not clicking for me. Story telling, metaphors, the lyricism is slaying. Asking how it ended through the lens of a gossip uninvolved in the relationship, but not being sure how it ended herself. 7/10.

So High School

Glitter gel pen. Objectively, not that creative or interesting. It's just a bit of fun. She's not taking herself seriously, she's writing silly song about how she feels like a silly teenager in love, and it does have some interesting lyrics. It's a bop. You know Travis heard this and was like "this is great babe I love it." Objectively, like a six, but this song has a choke hold on me for some fucking reason. 9/10.

I Hate It Here

Everyone's talking about the racists lyric and I swear reading comprehension is gone. Piss on the poor. This is for the girlies who daydream 'too much', who devoured books in middle school, who took things to seriously and too literally. 10/10.

thanK you aIMee

This song is so funny to me. "Here's thirty songs about my mental state and btw fuck Kim K." Serving metaphor, lyricism, and homicide. A mythology reference. A scathing takedown. 8/10 an icon.

I Look In People's Windows

I've not seen nearly enough people talking about this one. It's so relatable, honest, and unhinged. Storytelling, imagery, wondering what if. Heartbreak. I've never heard a song take this approach to these emotions. 9/10.

The Prophecy

The desperation, the feeling of hopelessness, they hit hard. She's reflecting on the repeating patterns of lost relationships, and how it feels inevitable at this point, and how she's willing to beg for it. She's losing hope, and willing to do just about anything to have it again. 10/10 devestating.

Cassandra

I am a mythology nerd at heart, so using Cassandra as a metaphor was a guaranteed way to get me obsessed with a song. She's serving lyricism, story telling, imagery, metaphor, mythology references, anger, sadness, what more could I ask for? Heart breaking. 10/10

Peter

Literature references, lyrics, heartbreak. Objectively, it's very good, but I'm bored. 7/10.

The Bolter

Storytelling, imagery, lyrics, literature references, the Bolter serves it all. I'm not entirely sure what it's about but it's a bop. I think it's fictional, but it's Taylor reflecting on her own life through the lens of this fictional girl. 9/10

Robin

I. Don't care. It's probably got great lyrics or something but I skip before I'm through the first verse because I'm just bored. Sonically, boring. Lyrically, the first verse doesn't redeem it. I've listened all the way through once and it was enough for me. It's not egregious, it's just not interesting. Flop. 4/10.

The Manuscript

I also skip this one but I have more of an appreciation for it than I do for Robin, just because of the subject matter. I have my theories on what it's about *cough* All Too Well Ten *Cough*. I like this as an album closer as well. French press lyric kills me. 7/10.

[losersimonriley]

twenty questions for fic writers

Thank ya @femalefemur <333

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

31

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

98,041

3. what fandoms do you write for?

Just the modern warfare reboot at the moment, but I’ve got fics from a few different fandoms

4. top five fics by kudos

First Light (ghost/soap)

Keep going (ghost/soap)

Completely, Selfishly (connor/gavin)

Every way that matters (ghost/soap)

Headshot Holidays (ghost/soap)

5. do you respond to comments?

I try! I really, really appreciate anyone who takes the time to leave comments, especially with fanfic being treated more and more like ~ quick to consume content~ I try to respond to every comment because the least I can say is thank you <3 But I got way behind on replies so there are a lot just sitting in my inbox waiting right now 💀 Swear I’m gonna get to em eventually

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

How it’s supposed to be (connor/gavin) bc it’s just both of them fucking dying lmao

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

This is a hard one bc I’m very much an angst with a happy ending writer, so most of my stories end on at least a hopeful note. I’ll say Every way that matters bc they are both just so sickly sweet in this one

8. do you get hate on fics?

Not bad enough that I remember. I used to have older works up before I regrettably purged them from existence that I remember getting rude comments on but wouldn’t necessarily categorise as hate

9. do you write smut?

Hellll yeahhh brotherrrr

10. craziest crossover:

I don’t have any crossovers per say but I’d really like to do a twister inspired tf 141 fic

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of 👀

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

No but I’m ok with it

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

No but I think it would be fun with someone I’m comfortable enough with! *looks at Camus with big sickly green eyes*

14. all time favorite ship?

Destiel owns me until I die, they were part of my life for so long and there is just so many years and so much between them. But god do I love ghoap

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I am going to finish all my wips even if they end up sucking ass

16. what are your writing strengths?

Dialogue maybe? I’ve been told I have good dialogue

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

Aghhh descriptions. I hate describing things. I just want the things to Happen. And pacing lmao. This is one reason why I’ve always struggled with long fics

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I know a lot of people find it unnecessary and jarring but I love it. Especially because it can encourage people to become interested in a new language

19. first fandom you wrote in?

I can’t remember if it was doctor who or my chemical romance but I’m pretty sure it was one of the two?

20. favorite fic you've written?

Oh it’s definitely gonna be Sundowning when I finish it. But so far my fav posted one is probably headshot holidays (ghost/soap) or music of the night (newt/hermann)

I’ll tag uhhhh @solivagantingrebel @lokibus @tumbleweedtech @forestshadow-wolf and anyone else who wants to do it! (sorry if y’all have already been tagged in this, I haven’t been very active on here the past few days so 🫡)

[gaym3bo1]

15 people, 15 questions

(if this means i'm gonna have to tag 15 ppl i'm gonna cry @non-binarypal7 @xagan @airenyah but thank u anyways hfhfh)

1. Are you named after anyone?

I'm named after two different political activists who share the same name lmao one marxist and one anti-segregation, ur allowed to guess

2. When was the last time you cried?

just before NYE bc i was completely overwhelmed and just wanted my peace and quiet (that i didnt get for like 3 weeks bc of the holidays)

3. Do you have kids?

lol no, i couldn't even raise a dog if i wanted to

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

i don't do any and i rlly should, but i was on a volleyball team for like 2 years in high school

5. Do you use sarcasm?

frequently, but apparently i've gotten worse at it and ppl can't hear it from my tone anymore, maybe i'm too deadpan with it

6. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

depends, but height is an obvious one

7. What’s your eye color?

Green? ish?

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

as long as it's not psychological horror/thriller i like both to a certain extent but i guess i'd choose happy endings (though i'm a strong fighter for 'not every story needs a happy end pls stop')

9. Any talents?

i'm self-depricating and feel like i'm failing at life so i'd like to say "None lol" but my friends would beat my ass so i'll say i'm quite good at picking up new hobbies/basic skills? And i'm a good cook!

10. Where were you born?

gemrany (yea i'll leave that typo, censor the place)

11. What are your hobbies?

making video edits of gay ass shows

reading fanfics abt gay ass shows

crocheting

drawing [hasn't drawn anything as a hobby in months]

eating delicious food (genuinely)

12. Do you have any pets?

3 snails <333 they are lovely and adorable and poop all day every day!

15. What is your dream job?

being the private chef for a friend that's suddenly rich for some reason. more realistically i would love working on tv shows or movies but also i know i'm not good enough AND i know how horrible the jobs are so i actually don't really. at least not as a long-term prospect but i'd love to try

tagging following 15 people:

....... tagging ppl in the last post already took all my social anxiety for the day, so i'll leave this for anyone who sees bc i am nosy but anxious (tag me i wanna see)

[afarcryfrommymain]

I like cult Aphid bc I like writing and drawing characters with something wrong with them™️ but the amount of prerequisites for him to join and STAY is a lot because he's got a lot wrong with him without also joining a cult, it takes some heavy fuckin lifting. So I'm just going over bullet points for this au in this post tbh.

1. Sister has to visit his home a little after he moves to Hope County, before the cult is at its worst and before he really properly starts at the sherrifs office

2. Has to meet John in a friendly setting prior to this and able to stand him enough to actually become his friend. (He absolutely cannot meet Sharky in this au until after its too late because it will become about them and its supposed to be JohnxAphid)

3. Big fight between him and Ruby which causes him to go over to Johns house and rant for 30 minutes about how he's got no one and he's sick of his family

(Alternatively Ruby dies but I really hate killing her just to make my boy sad in general and I don't like the idea of killing her until like, New Dawn time maybe and even then its like blaze of glory shit, its also more interesting for her to be alive in this au)

4. This prompts John to get him to join Edens gate, hes on the fence about joining but he's sort of considering, but like he's heard all the bs you have to do to join and isn't exactly jazzed at the idea of it. Hes also incredibly weary of a lot of religion because of his childhood n shit but let's not talk about that.

5. Aphid hops on the denial train when shit begins to hit the fan and Ruby trying to help gets into it with him again but this time its like "hey lil bro, I noticed your gay ass is about to join a cult so maybe don't?" And another fight and hes like "fuck it" and joins out of spite (dipshit)

6. Now he has to have good reason to stay in, which I'm genuinely not sure about outside of like, him and John start dating and he's like "fuck it" and leans into it. Like dating for long enough that it's at the "meet the family" kinda point.

7. He also can't be around for the first time Faith gets replaced because he could ignore it if it happens once (king of "not my business not my problem" in this au fr) but probably not twice

8. Continues to ride the denial train for a while but eventually when the reaping begins he doesn't really stay because he believes in it or whatever but because he just knows enough members of the project that he doesn't want to fight them anymore and kinda drops out of his job at the sherrifs office one day without 2 weeks notice or anything. (Point of no return for him, this point forward he can't be convinced to leave by anyone or anything)

9. Ruby will have to to take place of "main problem causer" this au (I finally let her do something woah) and the resistance generally sees her like "oh sorry your brother went crazy I think you gotta kill him tho??? Sorry"

10. Can't tell which Seeds die or if Aphid works really fucking hard to keep em around, John makes it because Aph is consistent in protecting people he loves in every au fr but they lose the bunker key in the process. Same with Jacob maybe.

11. Faith is difference bc Ruby is a bleeding heart with a savior complex and completely falls for the front she puts up and is like "but we gotta help her 🥺" but Faith does get to leave the project (sorta kinda, it's a whole thing) and survives

12. Dude idk if I can keep her from shooting Joseph and I kinda want her to fr like he starts doing his speech and she does not let him finish. Aphids busy with keeping his very pissed off boyfriend, the brother who looked like he was about to be cool with death, and the members he was able to get to safe. He doesn't even realize he straight forgot about Joseph til its too late.

13. Ruby does a broadcast about Joseph and asks Aphid one last time to come back but he's all in now and probably isnt gonna back out anytime soon. He still goes to confront her and since Aphid might as well be a raid boss theres a big show down between the two of them. They're fighting and Ruby gets really close to killing him but she hesitates because "fuck that's my brother, I raised him, I love him, this is so fucked"

14. In the minutes she hesitates the collapse comes. It's late, but it happens and Aphid just bolts to the bunker he had holed up with John in up until that point. Can't decide who Ruby's bunker buddy is. Could stick her with the Edens Gate people and have fun new issues but who knows.

That's the broad strokes though, probably won't write anything for this past a one shot or two if I feel like it but I thought it'd be fun to lay it all out like tism

[the-chessboard-is-personal]

trying this now! liveblog but in one reblog under cut. THIS WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS SO PLEASE PLAY THE MOD FIRST I CANNOT RECOMMEND ENOUGH THAT YOU DON'T READ THIS UNTIL AFTER YOU PLAY THE MOD‼️ also LONG long post-

oh, and. I'm calling this a mod bc I downloaded the fabric (.jar) version. I can confirm there IS a datapack though.

7:59 PM

uhh..neat. gonna make a new survival world on easy because I'm not. good at the game. also some stuff to know I play with subtitles on and cheats will be off for this world, also I'm listening to fantasy high in the bg so that might lessen the experience but they're in the nightmare forest so maybe not.

8:03 oh new bar. immediate guess is either thirst or sanity

8:07 probably sanity huh? goes down in darkness goes up in light OH FUCK WHAT ABOUT NIGHTTIME. wait I can use charcoal to make torches

8:14 the overall sense of urgency is UNNERVING. what I don't know (what happens when the bar goes down) and what I DO know (nighttime is approaching fast and darkness makes the bar go down) makes a wonderful bout of that good kind of stress.

8:19 I have a temp base. it's nighttime but I have torches, I left a hole open for if there's like. oxygen? in this mod? but it's a bit off the ground to counteract baby zombies. gonna make a mine since I only have 2 wool. I have a good amount of food since i spawned near a river and got like 30 fish found out it's 3 or less light that The Bar goes down at

8:30 first piece of iron, found a water cave underneath y30 so NOT staying in there long. but I got an iron from it. I want to experiment with The Bar. but not without a bed

8:39 okay travelling again. tHREE??

??????? is this the mod or. how rare is this

8:47 went through a whole cave. no iron

8:52 WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT VOIC- oh wait I have fnaf caves on

9:05 huh. the light threshold for The Bar decreasing is 5 now. I need to sleep. I need NEED wool. I have full iron but I desperately need wool

9:20 so The Bar also goes down by one when I get hit? also I'm confused about the symbol on The Bar, it's like. an orb?

9:41 what the FUCK do you rnean "Eerie noise?" ?? WITH the question mark. hhhokay why have the subtitles become an unreliable narrator now..? I. I need a permanent base. like right now

9:57 what is that.

WHAT IS THAT.

10:04 I got a good picture of it. wish I could like. journal it gravity falls style but I don't have my phone to make art so whatever gonna call it the Gramophone NEVERMIND IT'S CALLED A PARACUSIA. and it doesn't seem very friendly :(

10:22 okay...so it doesn't straight up attack you. AT FIRST. also there's a chance it alerting gave me a permanent -1 to The Bar okay no it didn't. I am going to get a spyglass though AND I GOT A GOOD SCREENSHOT OF IT!!

it looks so cool,, it looks sculky also.

something interesting about the Paracusia is that.. it doesn't have a hitbox. and

huh.

(took a bit of a break to talk to my housemate about this because HWOAGH it's so cool.)

10:59 still no idea what The Bar is for. icon reminds me of a heart of the sea though

11:55 nothing's really..happened, but I got some more iron, went through another cave etc. I want to live in an ancient city. I did find deepslate coal but I don't have silk touch so.

12:59 AM, next day. okay I tried to fight a Paracusia, I fled because I didn't have many arrows and the terrain was suboptimal (half-flooded cave). I think if I am to fight one, I want to do so melee, because they're slow and I know I can damage them even without a visible hitbox.

1:13 I found a cherry biome! there should be a deep dark under this mountain so I'll hopefully have a base soon :)

1:20 okay is the amount of creepers spawning natural or is it the mod's fuckery

1:34 knowledge of The Bar is only leading to more confusion, there's a yellow + when it's going up, a yellow - when it's going down, no symbol when it's not changing, but why is there a green - sometimes?

1:38 OH OKAY. having the darkness effect makes The Bar go down. ohhkay. shit. living in an ancient city plan is. going. aough I did find the city though. at least I found that

2:14 I have a base. I'm in the nether. The Bar can't go up here I don't think, so I guess this is where I'll experiment with it.

2:23 I'm at 6 on The Bar, nothing changed so far so I assume if it gets to 0, all the bad that I thought would happen as it depleted is going to happen at once.

2:35 IT'S AN EYE IT'S AN EYE I'M AT 4 BAR AAAAAA WHERE'S MY PORTAL

2:50 OHHH IT IS SANITY. THE ADVANCEMENT?? THE OTHER ADVANCEMENTS IN THE TAB??? THE FACT THAT THIS IS THE FIRST ADVANCEMENT I'VE GOTTEN??????? holy shit this MOD. okay. also. sleeping restores 2 sanity.

3:32 ? a pattern of flashing yellow dots has appeared in the bottom left of my screen. strange...

4:16 good news: the mod doesn't change anything about the Warden. bad news: guess how I know that :)

5:17 the...dots are gone.

5:39 is time going faster?

5:55 that's not a vanilla structure. it's.. there's cracks in the soul sand. ...moonstone. that's from the advancements tab. I have a prediction. something's going to happen when I either A) break the cracked soul sand, B) take the moonstones or C) it gets nighttime.

OH NEVERMIND. got the grimoire! I should probably run now! HOUGH A SPOOK?? A LITERAL SPOOK. IT IS CALLED A SPOOK

I am also very lost. I didn't screenshot my base coords even though I thought I did :,)

6:18 gonna set up a temp base in one of the ruins houses, I'll stay there just long enough to see if I can use a brush on the cracked soul sand

6:39 I knew it. it's giving me mob drops.. HUH?? I got a piece of Necroplasm and then this like. tiny phantom gremlin attacked me lol. I wonder if it was the same Spook that me getting the grimoire summoned? anyway I got the Panic Attack advancement.

6:46 full ruins haul is 3 moonstones, 1 sunstone, 1 necroplasm, 1 eerie and 1 brainy corpsebulb flesh and 2 lysosomes. and the grimoire of course.

7:21 oh hey a village. oh hey a pillager outpo- what is that. oh it's another ruins! I. don't need the grimoire from this one. for if I die and lose my stuff as well, I'm gonna grab the coords of this but I will take the soul sand stuff grimstone? huh.

8:27 okay I have to sleep irl now since I'm gonna be staying up all day tomorrow (15th). I found my base, I got a bunch of stuff, there's new advancements on the tab, I'm gonna take one more day off of my current project because I love this mod. I'll probably rb this again when I have an update, which will be styled like this one

Minecraft horror mod where the documentation for the mod is intentionally misleading and the mod actually does way more weird scary shit than listed while also being very sly about not revealing itself to be intentional in doing so at the same time. Like a backrooms mod where there are actually more sublevels/locations than listed, slightly different versions of monsters, or even stuff that subtly effects areas that are supposed to be outside the area of the mod such as the overworld and nether.

[kirstielol]

December Blog A Day

6. SST: A sexy memory i don’t wanna get too nsfw on this blog so i’ll just say that any time i get to wear lingerie is a good sexy memory lol. i love lingerie!

7. Favorite color and why pink. it’s cute and it makes me happy. i love all pastel colours though, a close second would be lavender. i also really love green, and yellow. and i recently discovered i really love wearing orange/yellow tones.

8. Mental Illness get ready for a long ramble about my mental health-

i have, and still do struggle with mental illness. i struggled with depression in my teens and early 20s. i self harmed from age 13-21. my arms are covered in scars and i hate it. i’m constantly conscious of it when i’m wearing short sleeves. my thighs are also badly scarred, but those are easier to hide. i wish i could get the scars on my arms tattoo’d over. i hate them and they make me feel stupid.

depression kicked in even harder by the time i was ~17. i barely finished high school.. i had to take an extra year to get all of my credits. i had really poor grades bc i just did not give af about anything. i took a year off between high school and college. i did literally nothing. lied in bed 24/7 and gained like 80 pounds. i didn’t take care of myself at all.

after that year, i ended up going to college for software development, loved it, got amazing grades, but then had to drop out in year 2 because my social anxiety was horrible and i couldn’t take all the panic attacks anymore. social anxiety is something i’ve struggled with since i was a kid. i was put into therapy at 8 years old because i kept having panic attacks before school. i’ve quit the only 3 jobs i’ve ever had because of social anxiety. i landed a pretty sweet work-from-home job when i was in college, i was developing mobile apps for some pretty big companies, but even that was too much for me.

i also suffer from agoraphobia, meaning i have a fear of going out in public. this is worse when i’m alone, if i’m with my SO i can manage a lot better. but alone, i cannot even go to a grocery store without feeling extreme panic. i feel very lucky to have my SO and a life where i don’t need to work. 

i attempted suicide in 2012 and it was because i knew i wouldn’t be able to be a “proper adult” and have a real job to support myself. i felt completely useless. and my parents were not helping. i know now that it was just because they don’t understand mental illness, but it was rough back then dealing with all that, then having my own mom tell me i’m being dramatic and making shit up, and to “just grow up”. i was barely making it through college and all i could think was, what the fuck am i going to do after college? my mom was very clear that if i’m not in school or working, then she’s kicking me out.

thankfully my attempt was shit and i’m still here, because i no longer want to die.

i also deal with a lot of health anxiety. if i didn’t have so much social anxiety i’d be at the doctors office every week complaining of something new. when i have a headache, i start panicking and convince myself it’s actually an undiagnosed brain tumour. period cramps sometimes send me into a panic attack thinking it’s actually uterine cancer. when my heart rate speeds up because i’m feeling anxious, i convince myself i have a heart problem and i’m gonna die in my sleep. maybe it sounds silly but it feels really real to me when it’s happening.

anxiety sucks.

[atthebell-moved]

i think it's also super unfortunate bc for a lot of people this is their first con, and it's hard to convey just how poorly run it was.

they had one of the biggest convention centers in the country at their disposal, that has for the last ~5 years hosted 130,000+ people, and still fucked up space logistics.

they had the stats and feedback from their OWN PRIOR CONVENTION in amsterdam and still railroaded dsmp events and fucked up meet n greets along with fucking up security for huge ccs.

they (should) have enough staff who know how to run a convention of this size, including everything from queue mechanics to accessibility concerns.

they should have the basic pr understanding that it looks bad to have disabled people getting crushed against walls bc of crowding and under-staffed line management.

they should understand how bad it looks to place the one, singular panel about female streamers in a ballroom that max fits 200 people, misgender and use the wrong pronouns for several of the ccs, then mistake one of the streamers for another in an instagram post and only correct that mistake ~4 hours after posting it.

gonna put the rest of this below a cut bc its just rambling and everything i personally saw as an attendee. this post is LONG viewers beware you're in for a scare

huge thing off the bat: they should be poaching staff from vidcon, comic con, etc. i'm confident that in the next 5-10 years sdcc is going to be bleeding attendees and experienced con staff will want to go somewhere new. steal those employees. offer them better pay. get their experience instead of having random twitch employees plan an event for like 40k people (can't find the numbers rn, it's prbably closer to 50k).

another thing: they should be poaching from or at least learning from theme parks. queueing mechanics are no joke-- disneyland has spent decades figuring out the best way to set up lines & maintain a good experience for park attendees. defunctland has some great videos on this, but suffice to say, nothing twitchcon did this time worked.

i think a lot of it's been obfuscated by people who weren't at the con or folks who didn't see each separate meet n greet, but here's how those were set up & why exactly they went horribly.

first thing: all meet n greet lines started as one big line. you walked into the second floor area, you got into a huge line, and then at the start of the actual meet n greet area they directed you to each line. for the first two days this entailed just. letting people through whenever there was space in people's lines. so rather than setting up long queues for each streamer, there was one huge line. this fucking sucked for people trying to see smaller ccs, because they were stuck in this huge line full of people trying to get into already-full lines. at one point we saw michael mcchill's line with like three people in it and there were probably three hundred people in the one huge line. there were probably michael mcchill viewers in there! but they were getting shafted by the giant fucking line.

lumen and i went to the first meet n greet at 9:30 on friday, which worked differently than all the others (and saturday's were spectacularly worse for other reasons). we figured karl, sapnap, gnf, and ranboo would fill up before we got there, so we were ready to hop in smajor's line. i'll note that con staff at this point clearly had no fucking idea what they were getting into, and there was not nearly enough of them.

the way they were doing lines at that session was that they had already filled up the aforementioned four ccs' lines, so they were opening the front of the ropes to just corral people into the other ccs' lines. someone opened it for us to hop in scott's line and that's what we did, but other folks thought they could still get into the other lines and got stuck waiting in front. we found out later that what they did was take a bunch of people into overflow queues to the side of the meet n greet area, where they were left to rot, because staff forgot about them or there wasn't enough time. later they (kind of) fixed this problem, but not the larger problem that the meet n greet lines were not big enough and were set up poorly from the start.

here is the entire second floor; i've circled the meet n greet area

i would estimate that the entire area for the meet n greets took up the size of like. a small soccer field. like max 1500 sq ft. probably smaller honestly but everythings becoming a blur.

this is the meet n greets including the entire room they were in, bc they shared space with the food court and artist alley (which was, btw, way too fucking small also)

meet n greets should have had their entire own floor. even for non-mcyt folks there were enormous lines and probably really frustrated people.

to add to this, for every meet n greet they didnt have enough lines. not joking. they were combining streamers lines. so sneeg & boomer shared one line (insane, bc they were the two biggest mcyt guys at that meet n greet session and it was while everyone who didnt make it to the dsmp panel was gunning for something else to do), hannah & tapl shared a line, and im pretty sure karl, gnf, and sapnap shared a line. i dont remember what their deal actually was, and im positive this was partially by ccs' request (i think karlnap + gnf wanted to be together for meet n greets, and same with hannah & tapl, though i doubt boomer and sneeg have talked enough to have requested that).

to add to this, i have no doubt that part of the accessibility issues with the meet n greets was because of the lack of space. there was no clear exit at the start of the con, and even later it was unclear which direction to go.

the other unfortunate thing (that twitchcon staff should be planning for) is that ccs want to take their time with each person and chat, but if they do so they meet less people. this is how you get ranboo meeting ~1200 people for 4 hours at vidcon. not to say he sucks for that, but its not feasible for anyone to do that, and im sure he was completely dead on his feet from that.

lumen and i also went to hannah's meet n greet on saturday, which went marginally better in general bc we arrived an hour and ten minutes early. we still waited a long time, but we got to see her & tapl and it was cool. however they had the same problem as friday of way too many people and instead of letting people into specific lines they just. kept the huge line. towards the end of the line they started putting people in overflow, which again, is where they waited to rot.

today we went to eret's meet n greet as our final hoo-rah (lmao) of the event. we showed up probably an hour and twenty minutes early. we got to the front of eret's line maybe five minutes before the end of the session. they had put us in overflow, and at this point actually were asking who people were there to see and were keeping count to send people away, but some of those people had already waited in line for probably 30min or more. sunday was by far the best they managed but still not good at all.

other HUGE problem with the lines: they did not anticipate mcyt fans showing up in droves. apparently con staff thought people would disperse to various events rather than congregating at particular events and this is part of why they didn't place dsmp events in larger venues. second part of this issue of anticipation is that they didn't plan for how many people would wait in line, despite how big a space was. well over 2k people waited in line for the dsmp panel. twitchcon did not even account for any kind of line (friday was a complete shitshow, you dont even understand) and were left floundering.

something else to note is all twitch communications said lines were to start 30min before events. on friday people were lined up 3 hours before the dsmp panel. these two things do not compute, and they mean staff were not watching the lines and directing them properly from the start, which helps explain why they lost control entirely.

so yes the mobbing that happened on friday is quite honestly unsurprising.

for sat and sunday, they realized they needed to get their shit together, so first thing is that they made a little area for disabled & priority people to sit to get into the glitch theater before everyone else, and there were way more staff present alongside security. they also had signs and staff throughout the line making sure people understood where things started and ended, how far into the hallway they were allowed to be, and when they had no hope of getting into the event. some level of improvement, but there was also some ridiculous shit they were pulling.

during several events yesterday they had like ten staff members holding pieces of rope together, like kindergartners, and were using them to bodily block line movement and crossing. so for a bit they would open a path into the theater for people waiting in line, then they would stop that line and allow cross traffic, because again, this was a full fucking hallway where people needed to walk. this was by far the stupidest thing ive ever seen and ive worked for colleges where organizers didnt remember students need to eat food.

not about lines anymore, but to address the foam pit, im gonna clarify a few things because people seem confused.

firstly, there were actually two foam pits on the con floor (and a ball pit by the entrance, but its irrelevant here). one was at the wendys booth, where people were hitting each other with foam french toast sticks over a foam pit. this pit was higher than the lenovo one but still a little iffy. they did not shut it down after adriana was injured at the other booth.

the booth that was a genuine problem was the lenovo booth, where they had a foam pit that i would say reached maybe 3/4 up my calf. i would generously call it a foot and a half high including the foam bits. people were similarly handed sticks to hit each other with and loud announcers said a bunch of shit into microphones. anyway. i took a photo of the foam pit today when it was not being used (although the booth was still open! people were still using the lenovo products to play little games three feet from where adriana broke her back!)

it's hard to see but it is not deep at all, and whats underneath is just the con floor, which is concrete and maybe a single layer of carpet. at most some of those foam bits reach a foot and a half, maybe two feet.

according to some folks the safe depth for foam pits without soft landing pads is like 6-8 feet deep (possibly meant to include the soft landing pads, im not a gymnastics person) which means it was a fraction of how safe it should have been. also i cannot get over the fact that they kept the booth open after someone BROKE THEIR FUCKING BACK and that wendys kept their pit running what the fuck is wrong with these people.

anyway the big thing i want to stress is that twitchcon is absolutely liable, at least morally, for this, but lenovo is absolutely on the hook for it as well. im not sure exactly how convention safety works for this, but i would guess its mostly on the exhibitors to provide proper safety. would not be shocked if the convention center is also liable, but again, im not a lawyer. i havent seen many people talking about lenovo being at fault so i want people to know thats part of it as well.

i also wanna address some of the more stupid/baseless rumors i've seen. the stuff about drink spiking seems to be because of advice some folks were giving out about not taking drinks from strangers because of the possibility of having your drink spiked, not the reality, but people took that out of hand and spread it like it had happened, and other folks used tweets from 2019 twitchcon where that did actually happen and it became a huge rumor. i have not heard a single cc or attendee from this year say their drinks were spiked.

second thing: sykkuno was not kicked out of twitchcon, he was asked to leave artist alley bc there was a huge crowd forming around him. this is a small thing but its bugging me that its being spread. it sucks that he couldnt hang out there but he's way too big of a streamer to be wandering the con without security, this is why they're supposed to let ccs on the con floor & into artist alley before/after everyone else is gone. that's what they did at vidcon at least.

third thing that's REALLY been bugging me: there is absolutely no confirmation that that person stole gnf's water bottle. they took a pic touching it on the table and then a pic of them holding an aquafina water bottle, which is the water they were selling throughout the con. if they actually stole it i suspect there would be a video. regardless, even if they did, they definitely did it as a reference to the smplive confession (which is itself a reference to a kpop stan copypasta. no one stole cooper's water bottle.) and not to be creepy, and they doubled down to get twitter clout. the smplive situation is also just entirely different, i know y'all think the serious stream jokes are funny but mcyt stans were just starting to exist and thats why that stream happened. all these streamers now think stans are fine so that would never happen. go watch lumenvale's video essay for the love of g-d.

another thing: most people were wearing their masks. i don't know where the idea came from that people weren't but i guarantee you 99% of mcyt fans were wearing masks the entire time, and most other people were as well. they made you verify your vaccination status or turn in covid tests also; i keep seeing straight up lies that they weren't checking for this but they absolutely were.

"unaccompanied minors" is also a meaningless thing to say; 14+ minors did not need to have an adult, and teenagers are perfectly capable of going to a con by themselves. sometimes they will be annoying or weird but that does not mean they need to be followed everywhere by a parent. i can also guarantee that a solid number of the freaks stalking ccs outside hotels and outside the partner lounge (no one's talking about that but i saw that personally and it was def happening, fucking creepy!) were fully grown adults.

also this is just a little thing but they had an affiliate kiosk with a little gift bag (that included shoelaces lmao) and they also had a pronouns bin at it that had literally like three she/her pins. lumen and i dug through it for several minutes to find a single one and i saw women digging all three days bc they apparently just. didnt buy enough she/her pins. which is a bad look already and then combined with the issues with one block at a time is just heinous.

random note at the end bc i just remembered it but they also had a huge line outside to get into the convention center and then a huge line for badge pickup and a huge line to get onto the floor, which only opened at 9 despite the building opening at 8. anyone who wanted to get to morning meet n greets early got kind of fucked by this and i dont understand why they had so many lines outside and then sucked at the lines inside. fucking nuts.

[not-me-simping-for-blasty]

so exactly 2 (two!) people asked for the playlist, which means i 100% am going to deliver

alright so without any more of my stupid commentary,, here is the bakugou playlist w/ a little bit of explanation bc i just like to talk about him

Title: *anger noises*

spotify link :)))

1. Love Me Dead - Ludo

lmao basically, about this one, bakugou would. he 10000% would say shit like “you're a parasitic, psycho, filthy creature, finger-bangin' my heart”. that’s all i gotta say about this one

2. Love Bites (So Do I) - Halestorm

look at the title of this song. you gonna tell me that’s not bakugou???

3. Scotty Doesn’t Know - Lustra

distinct blasty boy energy. very much a song i turn up in my car and immeadiately go “yeah- he would crush the dreams of some poor boy and then write a song about it. just to sing his own praises.”

4. Dead! - My Chemical Romance

ummm  “Have you heard the news that you're dead? No one ever had much nice to say, I think they never liked you anyway.” 

-i , sorry for the angst but??? thinkin about bakugou post-kidnapping and kamino ward??? 

5. Modern Swinger - The Pink Spiders

i mean, just the whole chorus rlly. listen to it- bakugou would think that. he would. but esp the line “And its love, It's heavy and it hurts and it's love”

6. Crazy Bitch - Buckcherry

this song is the best misogyny i’ve ever heard. the message is terrible but bakugou would. he would. 

7. Highway Tune - Greta Van Fleet

i- the scREAM/yodel in the beginning of this song?? like “you are my special, you are my special, you are my midnight” , and the “There's one girl that I know I'm never gonna pass” and the “So sweet, So fine, So nice, All mine” , iTS BAKUGOU IT IS, I WILL LITERALLY WRITE AN ESSAY ABOUT IT

8. Witness - Mindless Self Indulgence

“Son of a bitch, god likes me, I am the best, fuck everybody else”

..... i - y’all already kno i aint even gotta explain this one

9. Vicious Love - New Found Glory ft Goddess Hayley Williams

i cannot explain to y’all enough how much this one makes me think about bakugou- PLS ITS ABOUT SEEING SOFTNESS IN OTHER RELATIONSHIPS AND WANTING IT,, BUT STILL ONLY BEING ABLE TO EXPRESS LOVE THRU CONFLICT

10. Uneasy Hearts Weigh The Most - Dance Gavin Dance

no explanation tbh,, the lyrics dont rlly apply but listen to this song n just tRY and tell me it wasn’t on bakugou’s 7th grade playlist

11. Little Monster - Royal Blood

“Heartache to Heartache, I'm your wolf, I'm your man, I say run little monster, Before you know who I am”

yep yep checks out thats bakugou isnt it

12. Run - Foo Fighters

“In another perfect life, in another perfect light, we run” and “Wake up, run for you life with me”

basically its about escaping a world in ruins with someone u love by ur side,,,,, every day i think about writing a bakugou fic with this premise but i havent done it yet and i should

13. I Don’t Care - Fall Out Boy

“I don't care what you think, As long as it's about me, The best of us can find happiness in misery”

..... yep. that last line especially. n just the whole song is big bakugou energy

14. The Suffering - Coheed and Cambria

“If it was up to me, I would have never walked out, So until the sun burns out, Oh, I hope you're waiting”

oooo and “Should we try this again with hope (Bye, bye) Or is it lost, give up the ghost, And should I die all alone as I knew I would, (Then burn in hell young sinner)”

pls i love this song sm, it’s just a rlly good song and it also have massive massive bakugou vibes so thats always a plus

,,,, okay and this last one- and jesus it hurts

15. My Hero - Foo Fighters

no bc it u think about how upset bakugou was after kamino?? with all mights retirement?? pls

“Kudos, my hero, leavin' all the mess, You know my hero, the one that's on, There goes my hero, Watch him as he goes, There goes my hero, He's ordinary”

no bc every single day i think about writing a novel on how much bakugou AND DEKU were affected by all might’s shitty teaching n the ways it’ll probably always set them up to be rivals in some capacity

[mushiewrites]

Hi Mushie! <3

I saw you rb'd a post about anons sending you questions so I am sending you some questions... except Im not on anon :P

If you don't feel like answering (all of) these thats completely fine too!! These were just off the top of my head! (Btw sorry for how long this ask is, you can't put readmore's in asks sadly)

1. What would you say is your fav color/ are your top three fav colors?

2. Sunrises or sunsets?

3. Fav animals as a kid vs now?

4. Current fav song if you have one atm/ how often do you listen to music?

5. Do you like to sing?

6. What do you like most about your art? What got you into drawing?

7. Whats the best season/weather?

8. Do you like thunderstorms? Do you like snow?

9. Do you have plants? If yes, how many?

10. Did you drink enough water today? If no, drink some rn this is a threath!

Juno 💗🥺 I love long asks so no need to apologize! For whatever reason mobile also doesn’t ever let me do the “read more” thingy so, I’m used to it 😂 The questions are a welcoming distraction so thank you, I appreciate you so much 😭

1. Okay my all time favorite color is like a teal blue-green? Like if you look up “blue green crayola crayon” that’s my favorite 😂 But second and third favs would have to be probably lavender and mint green maybe? Black also tbh

2. I am literally obsessed with the sky at any time of day, but I prefer evening / nights. I love cotton candy sunsets and starry nights ✨

3. When I was little I think it went in order from giraffe to elephants to wolves to cows to sharks to orcas….I still love all of them now but I’d say cats, orcas and sharks are my top 3. I have tattoos of an orca and a cat, I’m gonna get one of a shark too! (*an extra bit of mushie lore: I have a half sleeve on my left forearm that’s just all animals so rn I have the cat and orca, a moth, and a snake! My next one is gonna be the shark for sure)

4. OOF music related questions. More ~mushie lore~, I was a music nerd. I was in band, choir, advanced choir, music theory, marching band, theatre…..etc. I also was a music major in college 😬 So you can imagine how often I’m surrounded by music. I listen to it every single day, I don’t know how people go without it. I’d say right now, I’m currently just listening to Sabrina Carpenters new album “emails I can’t send” on repeat. But from THAT album, I’d say “because I liked a boy” OR “how many things” are the two I listen to the most! All time fav song…..that is genuinely so hard to pick but maybe “I love you” by Billie Eilish bc it always hurts me in the best way

5. I do be singing literally daily 😂 I used to get leads in musicals and stuff but I also don’t think I’m very good. BUT that being said I’ve had multiple people try and make me audition for shows like the x factor lmfao so do whatever you’d like with that information

6. So at the moment I’m not really sure there’s anything I like about my art. I’m kind of in a funk where I think everything I do just isn’t really that good. Which is dumb and not true! Because I know that I’ve been proud of things I’ve made. But yeah…I’m not sure. How I got into art was actually through my dad. He would always have canvases at his house and he would always encourage me to create stuff. So when I was younger and throughout like grade school I was really good, I was in advanced art classes and groups and in art shows and all that. But I kind of got out of it for a bit and just started up again in 2020. And I’m definitely more of a painter now, although I have been mainly drawing to try and get skill back

7. best season hands down is autumn. My favorite weather is stormy and cloudy, a little chilly so I can just wear a big sweater or hoodie and feel nice and cozy

8. Oop, I kind of answered the thunderstorm question. As for snow…..not really. I think it’s beautiful to look at and I love when it’s cold outside, but I don’t like being outside in it or driving in it

9. I have HELLA plants. Except they’re all fake 😎 I have probably around 20-30 in my room, I have an issue

10. It’s 9AM but I haven’t slept in like 36 hours so I don’t know what counts as today and what doesn’t….I have coffee currently and I have water!

Juno you are a lovely human and I am so grateful to have you in my inbox 💗

[courtney-deserved-better]

whats ur writing schedule/process like! not in a “write faster” way, but i think once you mentioned writing in script form? and i like the way you wrote ur most recent fic! just curious bc ur works are just really good :)

this is a great question!!

if its not slippery slopes, ill usually get an idea for something and periodically jot down notes when they come to me until I feel like i have enough information to start writing (or if im just motivated), that's what i did for my horror challenge rewrite. and for stuff that's like... rewrites of an episode that aren't as character-focused as slippery slopes, i usually read the episode transcripts and try to replicate that total drama style with my own writing

for shorter oneshots, i usually just get a vague idea and run with it until i find a good ending spot, then i go back and clean it up a bit so the structure works

slippery slopes is an... interesting cycle. chapters are getting long enough that i cant just write them in one sitting any more (i think ch5 was the last chapter i did that for) and instead ill agonize over the beginning (always the hardest part to write for me) but once i get going with that i usually finish the chapter within a few days. then i reread the previous chapter to make sure it flows ok (and there aren't any contradictions) and then ill give myself a break where i dont do anything total drama related before coming back to edit and post. though before I do all that I type up notes and rough dialogue bits

and then once i post it it's like... a weight off my chest? like ive been purged or something?? idk its a weird sensation but im just like i Physically Cannot Write Anything For This Right Now and i don't start on the next chapter until that goes away. and then i either start the beginning and do nothing for a week before going back and finishing the chapter or i go into a manic state and write nonstop for a few days. right now i haven't reached a point where im ready to begin writing chapter 10 but i have a lot of notes for it.

(also as soon as i finish posting a chapter i try not to go on my laptop for like 12 hours so i don't obsessively refresh my email for comments. i love reading comments so much holy shit. please comment guys it makes fic authors feel so happy we will love you for it)

as for scripts: i am working on being a writer professionally, but specifically a playwright. writing in a script format comes more naturally to me than writing prose. funnily enough, i started posting fanfic just to practice my prose (and fix stuff in cobra kai that i didnt like) but things sort of... ended up here? idk man but im enjoying it.

right, so because writing in a script format is easier when im really struggling with a section in a fic ill usually scrap whatever i had and write it like a script, then translate that into prose. i was very excited to write the family videos for chapter 9 of slippery slopes, but i was Having Issues, so i redid it as a script and then rewrote that as prose. ill put the script version under the cut if you're interested in that.

but thank you so much for the question!! i do think my writing process is a bit unconventional but hey i think things are turning out well! if you have any more questions feel free to send them in!!

ok here is the last scene of ch 9 of slippery slopes in script format:

[SIERRA]

MOM: Hi honey! Omigosh this is so exciting! I bet you’re having such a great time! Especially since Chris is there! Is Chris watching this? Hi Chris! You know, I loooved you on that ice skating show. Your hair was fantastic! Well, it always is, haha. Do you really make your own hair gel? I’ve been trying to perfect the recipe but you’re just so hard to track down! Oh, you’re such a funny guy! I laughed sooo hard when you made all those jokes about marrying Chef.

Chef: hey!

Chris: ok just for the record, I wasn’t joking, we are married, Sierra tell your mom we’re married

Sierra: …can we just turn it off please

[COURTNEY]

DAD: Courtney, sayang, I know you’ve been going through a lot right now—

MOM: So you’d BETTER make it count. You’ve made it this far before, I want to see you getting all the way to the finale this time. And winning it. Enough moping about those hideous, good-for-nothing slackers! That’s what you get for hanging around freaks like them. You’re doing this for the million, now get the million. Is that clear?

ZARINA: And kick ass!

DAD: Zarina!

Video cuts out.

Alejandro: courtney you good?

Courtney: no, she’s right. Mama didn’t raise no quitter

Alejandro: [knows she’s still upset about duncan and gwen]

[ALEJANDRO]

MOM: Hola, Alejandro. We hope you are doing well, especially in such unsavory conditions. I’m glad to see you’ve made it to the final four— we expected nothing less, of course.

DAD: You have been utilizing your skills quite well. Though I wish you hadn’t been so… blatant about it. You’ll have to work twice as hard once this is over to convince people you’re trustworthy. But surely you were aware of that going into this… odd endeavor. That’s just politics. Reputation is everything.

JOSE: [snorts] Oh, and what a reputation you have, Al. I could easily compile hours of footage of your failures, but I, unlike you, do not waste my time on the frivolities of reality television. Though you always have been lacking in taste. Especially with that bratty girlfriend of yours— oh, my mistake, aren’t you dating the whiny weakling? It’s so hard to keep track! [laughs]

Alejandro: callate!

MOM: I’m sure Alejandro is just working an angle on them.

DAD: Whatever the case is, do not disappoint us.

[NOAH]

MOM: Hi Noah, I’m sorry, I don’t have time to record a full video, but I’m proud of you! Here are your sisters!

ISWARI: A million dollars? A million [bleep] dollars? Win it, Noah! Win it!

RUTH: Dude!! This is crazy! I know you can do this— good luck! Ark misses you! [holds up Ark who barks]

MARA: Are you insane? Why aren’t you dating Alejandro already?

Noah: shut up, mara, just because you can’t keep a boyfriend—

ANYA: Don’t let ‘em trick you! No mercy! Crush their skulls if you have to— no, wait, you’re not strong enough for that. We’ll get there!

LIYA: I say this as your sister, someone who loves you but is constantly annoyed by you— for someone who is quite literally a genius, you sure can be an idiot sometimes.

BALLARI: Okay, I literally have no idea how you’ve made it this far without an athletic bone in your body— are we sure you aren’t adopted? I’m kidding

ABS: You’re stubborn as hell when it comes to me, so you better be stubborn as hell when it comes to winning! And when you do win, get me a frozen yogurt machine, will you? I promise I won’t make you rock climb again!

JAEL: If you lose this, I’ll kill you with this racket. And then use your guts to make myself a new racket. So don’t fuck it up. Again.

Noah: [frozen, ashamed]

Sierra: well that was a mess

Courtney: ok show of hands, who felt better after hearing that? [no one raises hands]

Chris: yeah I was expecting this to be a lot more heartwarming…

Chef: chris just look at them. If they had stable home lives they wouldn’t be doing reality tv

Alejandro: can we please stop talking about this. Also aren’t you supposed to be flying the plane

Chef: oh fuck

Chris: yeah sure. I think im gonna call my mom

Everyone: …

Noah: ok so that was really shitty. Why dont we all go to first class and try and ignore our problems

Everyone: yeah ok sounds good

***

Courtney: so that sucked

Alejandro: at least your dad seems ok

Courtney: true. What are your guys dads like

Noah and Sierra: bold of you to assume I know my dad. Jinx

***

Alejandro: that last girl… you mentioned a sister who does tennis and hates you

Noah: yep

Alejandro: why?

Noah: none of your business. but… it is pretty justified

[calumthoodshands]

2021 Writing Self-Evaluation!

thank you @burstingsunrise and @daydadahlias my dear friends this is terrifying for my baby writer ass but i guess i’ll try! Under the cut

1. Number of stories posted to AO3: seven

2. Word count posted for the year: 164,489

3. Fandoms I wrote for: 5sos only!

4. Pairings: so far we’re cake exclusive but well i’m caught up in a story since literally march so

5. Story with the most Kudos/Bookmarks/Comments:

all of them and surprising to no one, are from Days in the sun. i sometimes lose my mind a little when i look at the number of kudos being over 100. how. how!! and so many comments!! over 30!! bat shit insane. i’m glad people like it but it does stun me every day

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why):

i’m gonna name two bc the reasons are different. Dits, because it’s the biggest fic i have written and ever will write, bc i managed to keep a story up in over 130 k words without losing the plot, bc i myself love the world i created in it. everytime i finish a chapter i’m baffled at myself that i’m actually doing this. that i’m writing this fic for soon a whole year.

the second one is probably The easy way out. it’s in no way a particularly outstanding fic, its not long or incredibly short or anything, but i’m proud of how it came to be. i wrote it in one go in just a few hours, i got the exact vibes across that i wanted, and it even did quite well for some reason. i like it a lot

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why):

i do have a fic i am not proud of but i dont see a point in mentioning it

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

okay i want to mention several people bc im me and these all made me cry

starting off with megs @igarbagecannoteven bc seriously every comment she leaves on dits makes my heart hurt bc theyre so detailed and really make me believe that i’m not just doing nonsense but actually. like. having an effect on people with what i’m writing. i appeciate it more than i can put into words

second of all was that one time i got a random ask from c @soggyburgers and it was in the very beginning still and out of all fics, about my sad fic high above the city lights. i couldn’t believe someone actually read my stuff. and thought it was good. i seriously think about that message almost every month at least once. i’m still sorry i made you cry, c, i hope you’ve forgiven me

third, and a must for me to mention is the playlist des @cakes-curls made all by herself for dits. when i tell you i cried for half an hour. that my fic had such an impact someone would actually sit down and invest the time to find songs that fit the fic and the vibes????????????????? i’m. i can’t. i’ve talked about it a lot of times already and still dont know what to say to express how much it means to me.

9. A time when writing was really, really hard:

i had a huge writer’s block at one point. i think it took me a month to finish a 3 k word chapter. but also right now, i was struggling with the new chapter for dits, then i was gone over new years, and i have so much to do and i cant sort my thoughts enough to get any further. i’m incredibly frustrated atm. i also constantly think about how i dont give characterisation enough thought.

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

probably the first kiss in dits! i had it planned completely different in the beginning, only for it to take not only WAY TOO MANY CHAPTERS but also to happen in a completely different setting.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

i literally can’t if anyone has suggestions hit me up i’m too tired and there are too many words

12. How did you grow as a writer this year:

i mean. i started this year. i learned how to write. how to make sentences flow. those kinda things. basics

13. How do you hope to grow next year:

I really wanna keep an eye on characterisation and i really really need to broaden my vocabulary

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

actually, i think all the writers in the club. the fact that we have a community where you can ask the most stupid questions, where you can always ask for advice, even just reading what other people write and ask about. but also just reading their fics in general. meg’s and molly’s cake fics and jess’ were so good they were the last push to get me into fic writing. but also special mention to molly. thanks for always answering my dumb ass questions no matter when or what and helping me w fic ideas <3

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

oh definitely. i was in france!! i was where the magic happens!! but also just personal perceptions of things and preferences, but i won’t specify anything. i cant afford to be perceived even more

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

write. just write. dont be afraid of ideas going to ‘waste’. dont be afraid of writing things u can’t do. if you dont post it, who will know about it? no one but you. always write it down, no matter how small the idea. u can always edit, but u cant get ideas back.

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

i have several fics i want to write, but as long as im on dits still, i dont have the brain capacity to work on other longer projects. i would love to write the neighbour fic, or the ballet fic.

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read.

I’m probably the last rn so if you read this and wanna do this pretend i tagged you!!

[literaphobe]

hi michelle!

could you rate the mcc games pleaseee, i would love to hear your thoughts :)

(also, i hope you're having a nice day!!)

here are my ratings for the games :) only mcc16 but u can ask for non mcc16 in another ask this just got long

sky battle: very pog. i like how u have to run around to various locations to get loot, but also u get to kill people but also u gotta be fast bc oh no the border is closing in!! bridge u little bitch!! jump! fly! run! i think it's cool how it's all up high so u could fall to ur death but also that gets annoying esp towards the end of the game n idk it makes it harder to clutch up bc of how the arena is built so u get many oh :( moments instead of oh!!! moments. plus the thing at the bottom kinda sucks like ok so u jump there as a last ditch attempt but there's no Real thing to save u there so u just die its stupid. make it worth it. i like the three round thing tho :D like its ok that u died u can try again bb!!! and im interested to see more cool ways to kill people in this than just standard pvp like dream used the fishing rod n it seems he has more tricks up his sleeve so im excited to see him 'make them regret allowing fishing rods' like he said. 8/10

battle box: my beloved!! i like the 9 rounds thing where u go up against every team n each member gets a Cool Thing that can help them in special ways. the wool thing is cute too. good game that tests pvp well! i like the maps mostly n the kits r usually cool unless they suck then they like make me go ugh 🙄 9/10

to get to the other side and whack a fan: it's cute bc there's quite a bunch of maps for this n there are 6 rounds so u can still come back even if u fuck up a round. but some maps r annoying bc they are frustrating n not intuitive or they are just annoying or like if u fuck up the first time ur almost guaranteed unable to finish or u get real close n then fuck up n then can't finish or some shit. sad :( i like it when the pov im watching does good but if they don't do good it sucks and the map is lousy >:( but its a very cute game n i think the punching is funny unless the pov im watching gets punched >:( then what the FUCK bro that is SO messed up WHERE is the sportsmanship :/ dhfshsfj 8/10, but that score rises depending on the maps

parkour tag: im glad because it reps parkour but it's got this unpredictability of one person having to catch three different people presumably all running in different directions. a balance of skill timing n luck n also teamwork :) also like battle box i like the 9 rounds. however the scoring is a bit scuffed n unless they change it its always gonna pull down good hunters who don't have other good hunters on their team etc, i can elaborate on this using dream as an example but that would have to be another post. 8.5/10

sands of time: i really like the some of the new changes like how they have brain puzzles in the form of the blue wool thing so it's not just ur skill in the game but also it combines various skills like fighting strategy and maze running and also parkour it is very satisfying to watch but also scary it really keeps u on ur toes and its fun watching people solve stuff and get the coins its like a treasure hunt i love it more just thinking about it... the vaults r cool the sand to give more time is cool n its awesome when the whole team works great n gets themselves a lot of time n farms a lot of coins hehe the downside is it can get terrible if u die or ur teammate dies and ur sandkeeper doesn't communicate well enough n no one gets saved then that is sad :( still tho conceptually i like it a lot n its potential is cool n the suspense of not knowing how well all the teams did until the end is good too 9/10

survival games: this is like sky battle but on da ground and u get a lot more loot but also if u die thats IT like ok too bad u lose no coins no redos u cannot redeem urself u cannot come back time for u watch the other teams play ig :/ like it's too long a game to have three rounds for too so losing means gg n u gotta wait a while. cute maps tho n its fucking awesome if the pov u watch doesn't die :) n they kill a lotta people :) 7/10

build mart: EWWWW 0/10 GJHJGH jk ok i genuinely do think it's a good game even tho there are certain issues like how despite the changes made its still a tad bit disadvantageous to colorblind players and also it can be disorienting in certain ways like depending on how u look at it a part of me thinks its annoying to collect materials n maybe they should just have everything at their disposal another part of me thinks its cool that they go out shopping for their littol building materials flying around n shit or even in the old shopping cart version its like a warehouse they got stone in BULK boys 6.5/10

ace race: god its fun i like the tridents n the BOING noises n how they go Zoom n Fly n Jump i like the pretty maps but i also do hate player collision n some of the glitches but they have fixed that so hopefully all things go smooth soon :) 8/10

hole in the wall: what the fuck its so glitchy. get well soon but it is kinda funny but it has also caused wars to break out. i like the three round thing as usual n i like the various jumping and shifting strats for various holes to go through (hehe) it is a pretty suspenseful game n i do hold my breath at some jumps bc u don't always know when they hit spacebar if they r getting through or dying. 7.5/10

grid runners: i don't fucking know man they haven't played it yet

anyway these ratings could go up or down. it all depends on how good the pov im watching does 👍 hope this helps

[arofili]

how’d u get into writing? like, writing fic and being part of the silm community, being Known, that stuff? i’m really new to being a silm cc and i’d love to know ur advice! also: how’d u build up the confidence to start posting meta/hcs? bc i have a Lot of hcs and meta ideas but also i’m really anxious abt posting them bc yknow anxiety is like that

these are some great questions, anon! I’m gonna go through them one by one :)

how’d u get into writing?

not to be like, super cliche, but I’ve...kind of always been a writer? as long as I can remember I’ve been telling stories, and when I was too young to read or write I would dictate them to my mom, who would type them up for me and help me choose clipart illustrations to accompany them. when I got old enough I would always be writing; I attempted my first novel at age 9, and while that never really went anywhere I did finish the darn thing and it had some pretty sophisticated plot twists for a 9-year-old!

like, writing fic

around the same time I got into fandom! I was deep into Warrior cats (like. really deep) and I believe I started writing my first fics when I was like? 10 or 11? my memory is kind of fuzzy on the order of things, but I know I got an account on the Warriors forums when I was 9, and that I was already posting my fic there when I made my FFN account. I believe I was 12 when that happened, but who knows. I haven’t the faintest idea of what happened with those forums, but uhhh pretty much all of my Warriors fic is still up on FFN lmao. you could probably find that if you want to but um...maybe don’t?

my first Big Fic was a self-insert of...my entire 5th/6th grade class into the then-current timeline of the Warriors books...well. I honestly think that might still be my most popular fic of all time l m a o though I try not to think about it because Hashtag Cringe. though as much as I look back on that time with a “yikes,” I am very grateful for the Warriors fandom in a way? that place was so accepting and encouraging of OCs, of AUs, of completely disregarding canon, of worldbuilding that is completely alien from canon - it was a fantastic sandbox to begin with, there were so many ways to write stories and practically all of them were accepted and had fellow fans invested in them!

and being part of the silm community, 

soooo I wrote Warriors fic until my freshman year of high school (wow sdjfhkdsjfh), which was when BOTFA came out, and I was absolutely wrecked by the ending and immediately started writing my own fixit fic. I was also super hooked on Kiliel! so that was my intro to the Tolkien fandom; and simultaneously, I joined tumblr, and, well, the rest is history tbh.

I honestly do not remember when I first read the Silm, but I kind of got into the more obscure parts of the Tolkien fandom through fandom osmosis, and I do have a vague memory of doodling the Finwean family tree in geometry class so it might have been later on in freshman year? that was also the same time I was having my Queer Awakening, and Russingon definitely contributed to me unlearning my internalized queerphobia, so probably around then.

anyway - queer awakening, tumblr, Tolkien, transitioning from FFN to AO3 - all of that was happening around the same time. I know I dipped my toes in the Silm fandom then, but I was still primarily a Hobbit fic writer focusing on Kiliel. toward the end of high school I kind of shifted to LOTR and (qp) Gigolas...but somehow the Silm fandom is the most active of the Big Three within the Tolkien fandom, and I was getting dragged further and further in.

it wasn’t until @backtomiddleearthmonth 2019, my freshman year of college, that I really dove into writing Silm fic! I picked some Silm-specific bingo cards and never looked back :D that was really not all that long ago but I am obsessed in a way I don’t really remember being even with TH/LOTR, I obviously cannot see the future but I anticipate hanging out here for a long time. the Silm fandom is great overall and there’s just so much material to work with!! <3

being Known, that stuff?

so I don’t really have a whole lot of context on how “well known” I am in the fandom?? definitely within the past year and a half or so I’ve noticed that I like, get asks like this, and get a significant amount of notes on my posts, and I’ve made a lot of fandom friends especially since I joined some Silm servers on Discord (hmu if you want invites; I’m on the SWG server and 2 general Silm servers and the Russingon server) this past year. and I have 3,000 followers as of this month - and while ever since I hit 1k I don’t particularly pay attention to my follower count I can definitely say that I have more engagement now than I used to! but it took me a long time to build this “audience,” I suppose; I’ve been around the Tolkien fandom since late 2014, so nearly 6 years of this, lol.

really the best way to build a following, in my experience, is to just post a lot of stuff. when I started making edits I got a lot more engagement, because for a long time I would post one every day! (I made them in batches and queued them; I didn’t actually make one every day lol...and now I’m too busy to do that, so I just make edits for events and whenever I feel like it) And I have [checks ao3] 145 works in the Silm fandom as of today - I’m fairly prolific! I’ve come to generally expect 3-10 comments on most of my oneshots, which is a lot more than I used to have back in the day. consistency and quantity are more likely to attract people to your work - and quality, of course.

also: how’d u build up the confidence to start posting meta/hcs?

I’ve been writing since I was very young, and I’ve been writing fic for like...11 years? I think? in that time I’ve produced a lot of garbage, but imo most of that was in my Warrior cats phase, so I came into the Tolkien fandom with confidence in myself and my writing. I’m also working on original fiction on the side (I hope to eventually become a published fantasy author, but right now school takes up most of my time that I don’t devote to fandom, which gives me more immediate gratification and also is just Very Fun) and I know I’m a good writer.

basically, I’ve been doing this for like...half my life, and I’m still fairly young, so I’ve had time to build up my skill and confidence and I know I’m only going to get better with time. you will get better with practice. like I said, I’ve written a lot of terrible stuff, and it’s only through sucking for a long time that I’ve gotten to the point I am now. and I am far from perfect; I know I still have lots of room to grow!

for meta and headcanons specifically, I started with writing fic, and then when I didn’t think I could stretch something into an entire fic I would just make a hc post. I have a vivid memory of writing my first meta in a notebook during driver’s ed because it was so goddamn boring and I had Thoughts about Tauriel and Thranduil!

in my experience, meta comes from having Opinions and wanting to share them and most importantly to back them up - you need to have sources! you need to have reasons! you need to have justification! otherwise it’s not meta, it’s a headcanon or an AU. which is fine!! I love hc/AU!!! but they are not the same as meta, and I’m a stickler for being accurate when it comes to meta. if you have sources and shit to back you up, that will help you build the confidence to share your meta.

sharing disinformation and passing it off as meta instead of just coming out and saying this is a headcanon/baseless theory/AU or whatever is such a fandom pet peeve of mine; it’s not bad for something to not be Accurate! you just have to have that disclaimer - and even when you’re writing meta, you’re offering an interpretation of the text, and you need to acknowledge that other interpretations also exist and are valid.

um. I hope this answers your questions? and sorry for basically word-vomiting my entire life story, lol. this post got long; the main reason I’ve written so much fic is because I really just cannot shut up for the life of me. sooo if you can tear of that filter of being shy and just. say shit. you can go so far~!

OH and one more thing - I can’t believe I almost forgot this - but part of being a writer is participating in the community. this is code for LEAVE A DAMN COMMENT IF YOU LIKE A FIC. that’s how I made most of my fandom friends before Discord! I follow @ao3feed-silmarillion and stalk that blog for new Silm fics; I read the ones that interest me and comment on them.

I know this is not really the most common way for folks to find fic but it’s so rewarding to interact with new fic, new writers, new commentors, new stories - you can find gems that don’t rise to the top of the kudos/bookmark lists; you become friends with your fellow writers; you can watch people grow and change; you support smaller content creators. yeah, you might not be getting Just The Best Stuff, but it’s so so so worth it!!

and if you make friends in the comment section of other people’s fic - I guarantee you some of them will go to your AO3 profile and check out your fic, too! and they’ll leave comments! this is a fic community, and that’s what I cherish about fandom most of all, tbh.

anyway - again - sorry for rambling so much, but I hoped this helped! feel free to send in another ask, or to come talk to me off anon if you’d like! and definitely send me your stuff if/when you decide to share it; I would love to support you!!! <3

[milkcrates]

tagged by @jingyismom to share 10 things about myself! it was so lovely to read your post to get to know you better!! can't guarantee my answers will be nearly as interesting but I Already Know I'm gonna ramble (sorry in advance) so for everyone's sake I'll continue under the cut~

1. When I was around 8 yrs old, we had this old broom that looked like the one from kiki’s delivery service and I was convinced it was magical, so I used to run around my backyard with it and try to fly. It was kinda sad though bc every time it didn’t work I’d be like “IT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT BELIEVING HARD ENOUGH” and then I’d try again, thinking ‘this time for sure’, and it. wouldn’t work again. so I’d try Extra Hard and then it still wouldn’t work and eventually I stopped believing in magic LMAO poor cloud :’) but I don’t think I’ve fully grown out of it bc every time I see a broom I’m like... but what if 👀

2. I make playlists for fucking EVERYTHING and most of them are soundtracks to whatever escapist daydream I’m indulging in at the moment, like “songs I’d listen to if I had my own sci-fi spaceship” or “songs for getting stuck in haunted parallel worlds”. And yup, you guessed it, “songs for flying around on a magic broom”. (plus fanfic-writing playlists bc I’m That Person)

3. I love the idea of solo-travelling around the world and meeting new people that way, but really I’m too much of an introvert to be able to do it. I’d probably end up wandering around alone everywhere I go- which actually sounds kinda nice, but I think after a while I’d be too lonely eating all my meals by myself. (Also, having the money? and time? couldn’t be me lmao) But I like to imagine that one day I’ll be able to travel the world with some friends or something! Unrealistic maybe but I can dream 🤧

4. My grandparents live on a farm in rural Romania and I used to go every summer to visit! Cue nostalgic montage of playing with the chickens and stealing apples from the neighbours (sorry neighbours, I was small and hadn’t fully developed a moral compass yet) and swimming in the creek. I don’t go as often anymore because, again. Time and money. Wish I could though, bc I can feel myself starting to lose the language ahh sorry grandma 🥺

5. Speaking of Romania, one time I was hiking in the mountains and it started thunderstorming when we were at the top of the mountain, which was equal parts terrifying and fun bc there weren’t any trees that high to give us any cover. So we were trying to navigate the trail in the rain and then I heard? whistling?? and before you say it was the wind, it Wasn’t The Wind this was like someone whistling a full-on song. But every time I looked around there was no one there and it all felt very surreal and mega creepy. I don’t believe in ghosts but if their existence is ever proven this would be the first thing I’d think of. because wtf.

6. Most of my dreams exist in the same... universe? general area? idk but I keep having dreams that take place in this very large and very confusing university, half of which is in a huge greenhouse, and the other half is all twisty underground tunnels. Not sure how I know it’s a university bc I’ve never dreamed of taking classes there, but idk it just has vibes.

7. Gonna steal a personality trait from @jingyismom and say that I too am very into music, but unfortunately I don't really have any talent for one specific instrument. It's more like, I'm kinda okay at a couple of different instruments– mainly guitar, piano, and alto sax. (and a tiny bit of flute?? but like. I'm Not Good) I was pretty serious about sax for a while when I was doing jazz band!! and I still know how to play all the notes but... I'd probably sound like a goose if I picked it up again now :')

8. I love love love making things with my hands! I made one (1) spoon in a metal-working class a while ago and since then I've been itching to do something similar again, but I don't have any of the equipment for it (especially in, y'know, quarantine). Semi-recently discovered diy how-to-forge-your-own-sword videos and boy oh boy do they make me Yearn!!! imagine! making your own sword! oof

9. oh god these are all so long so I'll try to make these last ones short dskjhds I love How To Train Your Dragon and I have the entire OST memorized cause it's just That Good

10. um. umm ummmmm omg idk anything else. I used to eat play-dough as a kid? lmao

I think I've seen this game go around a bit so I'm sorry if you've already been tagged but- @sheeptopus, @milkoolongtee, @aurltas, @fantasiavii bc I'd like to get to know y'all better 🥺 BUT absolutely no pressure!! also no pressure to write as much as I did I just don't know how to shut up

and to anyone else that wants to do this, pls consider yourself tagged (if you think I'm not talking about you, I'm Talking About You) don't be shy!! 💖💖💖