#goner fest

[dagwolf]

Two days down for Gonerfest. One and a half to go. Yesterday was a big day. Standout bands were Vintage Crop, 1-800-Mikey, Tee Vee Repairman, c.o.f.f.i.n., and Sweeping Promises. Also we went to an after show and saw The Shitty Stones, a great Rolling Stones cover band, and The Jack Oblivian Band. Mr Quintron played a short set as well. (The first day was great, too. Osees were brilliant.)

[thejoyofviolentmovement]

New Audio: PRIORS Shares Post Punk Anthem "Optimizer"

New Audio: PRIORS Shares Post Punk Anthem "Optimizer" @MothlandSounds

Led by singer/songwriter, creative mastermind, and producer, Chance Hutchinson, Montréal-based punk outfit PRIORS have been wildly prolific, dropping six releases, including three full-length albums since 2017. Each of those efforts have seen the Canadian punk outfit firmly cementing a melodic and dynamic punk sound. During that same period, PRIORS have developed a reputation for a wildly…

[mistbornthief]

HUZI NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

KUI NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[luv4fandoms]

Think about the lost boys just coming right behind you and just sniffing you deeply into your neck and hair

Brain would just short circuit, like whaaaaa. I mean I'd take it as a compliment that a being with a super high sense of smell enjoys my scent but also, holy sh*t that seemed intimate lol.

Paul

Paul does this a lot anyways

By far the most touchy of the group

Like even before he and you become mates

The first time he did it (not long after meeting them) it flustered the hell out of you

404 error

He had just walked up behind you one night while you were standing there talking to Marko, wrapped his arms around your middle, pulled you in, and leaned down to bury his nose in your neck.

You just stood there like 😶, which caused the boys to start laughing.

"Paulie" you spoke after a moment

"Yeah Sugar?" He'd ask, and you could feel the smile against your skin.

"Whatcha doing?"

*Cue Paul moaning, making you even more flustered. Something he took note of*

"You just smell so good" he'd tell you, and yup, you were a goner

After finding out about them being vamps it became even more flustering.

Like knowing that a vampire enjoys your scent enough to not kill you is awesome

But when said vampire enjoys sniffing (which often leads to licking) you every time he can get his hands on you.

Flustering.as.hell

Trying to clean up the cave?

Paul appears out of nowhere to pull you towards him for a sniff.

Sitting on the couch?

Bam suddenly Paul.

Walking by the couch while he is sitting on it?

Pulls you into his lap.

Already in bed?

Cuddle fest right? Boy would fall asleep with his face buried in the crook of your neck.

Like I said, Paul is touchy, he's loving, and he's a cuddle bug. Period.

Marko

The first time Marko did it was genuine

You had used your new peppermint shampoo that night and Marko had found himself instantly drawn to the scent.

He could smell it across the cave and it felt like the combination of it mixed with your own scent was just drawing him in.

*cue cartoon character floating along following the scent*

You were sitting on the couch, turned sideways to get a better look at the fountain, which was currently the subject of your sketch.

When he slowly sat behind you, careful not to make you make unneeded marks on the page.

And just...*buries face, and deep sniff against the hair that covered the back of your neck*

*cue you almost shooting up off of the couch if his arm hadn't quickly wrapped around your middle*

"Marko what the hell?!?" You asked but you were glad he couldn't see your extremely red face.

"Sorry Cutie, you just smell so good" he smiled.

Marko would also be a little teasing shit

Often sniffing your neck as he held you close

And when you'd squirm because of how flustered it made you, he'd just give you that shit eating grin and ask.

"What's wrong my little juice box?"

Dwayne

Your scent was one of the first things that attracted him to you that night on the boardwalk.

He could smell the mixture of florals and your own intoxicating scent from a mile away.

He would never say it out loud but your scent grounds and comforts him.

Just because he's the quiet one doesn't mean he doesn't have shit going on upstairs.

Sometimes he does get stressed, or just annoyed with the group.

But your scent just melts that all away and makes his brain quiet.

The first time it happened the group had been rowdier than normal

Fresh kills under their belt, even if it had been close calls of getting caught.

Marko and Paul were being especially loud, getting Laddie to join in on the fun.

David had this very tense aura about him, no doubt aware of the close call.

And Dwayne...Dwayne had retreated to the couch in the far corner, almost completely concealed in the shadows, but his aura was just...stressed.

You slowly made your way over to him and asked if he was ok, watching as he looked up at you for a long moment.

You knew he wasn't the talking type, so you figured that look was a simple "leave me alone".

Giving him a sad smile you just nodded and turned to leave.

Before you felt your body quickly move backwards.

Strong arms wrapped around your middle while your back pressed against his chest.

He quickly buried his nose in your hair and neck, breathing your scent in deeply and letting it calm him.

You on the other hand were beyond flustered and a blushing mess, heart racing.

"Stay for a bit?" He asked, if you would have said no he would let you go, as hard as it would be.

"Ok" you replied, feeling the smile against your neck before feeling him bury his entire face against your hair, arms tightening a bit.

David

David would never let on how much your scent affected him.

Like he acts like he couldn't be bothered

When in fact your scent makes his brain both short circuit and go into overdrive

Honestly he hates it

Hates that he has a hard time controlling himself around you, because he needs control.

But every time you come around...404 error.

He hides it well though, the boys don't know after all, nor do they or you need to know.

But sometimes it gets harder to control

Some days he thinks about just pulling you to him and never letting you go

And one day that intrusive thought won out.

You had been cleaning up the cave, a task he had told you didn't matter, but you insisted.

Saying that sure they might trip over something and it didn't matter, but you might and break a bone.

A fact that he didn't want to happen so he let you clean.

And watched as you picked up Laddie's toys that you had bought him, as well as things the boys had left lying around.

Speaking of, the boys had gone off to the boardwalk with Laddie and Star, leaving the two of you alone.

By now only your scent filled the cave due to your slight sweat from cleaning

And it was driving.him.mad

The snapping point was when you passed in front of him too close, your scent completely washing over him, and the next thing you knew you were sat in his lap on his throne.

His nose buried against the hair that covered the back of your neck

Breathing deeply and releasing the breath in a low growl.

The action completely flustered you

Like holy shit wtf? Also please don't stop.

Because David didn't give you this kind of attention

Even though deep down you had been begging the universe for him to.

"D-David?" You asked after a moment, voice unsure, and being met with a tighter grip against your middle.

"Yes?" He asked easily before burying his nose against just your bare neck after moving your hair aside.

"W-What are you doing?"

"Nothing" he told you with another low growl, causing your mouth to clamp shut.

"Ok"

You sat there, slowly relaxing in his hold as he buried his nose against your skin more, slowly rubbing circles against your stomach.

Honestly it felt really good to be held by him, you felt extremely protected.

Almost enough to lull you into a light sleep.

Until you heard the next word he whispered.

"Mine"

I hope you like these ☺️. I know I definitely wouldn't be complaining if any of these fine gentlemen did this to me lol

[amusingmusie]

hey- woah- this was SOMETHING. really heavy but there will probably be heavier ones to come but im already devastated in this chapter and if you're already apologizing for the next chapter, im probably a goner folks, i hope you show some mercy to your friendly neighborhood pookies See you at thirty-two,

Yours truly

Mercy? What the heck is that?

In all seriousness the next few chapters will be rough but Yours Truly will not end as an angst-fest! I still have about 10 chapters to go (may change if I combine 2 chapters together), so while it seems like we're approaching the end, we really aren't. I can't really give much away but I just wanna stress that I don't plan to end with pure sadness :)

[nocturnal-phantoms-fandoms]

Regulus Arcturus Black. in less than an hour:

for @pieceofshitregulus fest

a word, under the cut

Ive no idea if anyone will vibe to it, but alas, I made it, might as well share it. I wanted to focus on what we know about R.A.B: how he joined the Death Eaters so young, how he found out about the Horcruxes, and his journey to the cave.

Icarus - Bastille Natural - Imagine Dragons LOOKATME - Jann you should see me in a crown - Billie Eilish Everybody Wants To Rule The World - Lorde Emperor’s New Clothes - Jann Meet Me In The Woods - Lord Huron Battle Cry - Imagine Dragons We Have It All - Pim Stones What The Water Gave Me - Florence + The Machine The Drink Of Despair - Nicholas Hooper [HP6 Soundtrack] Deep End - Ruelle Goner - Twenty One Pilots In the End - Linking Park

below my interpretation of the songs

Icarus is great for an opening song. It encapsulates the whole of Regulus; his ambition - that led him to join the Death Eaters - was what brought his untimely death and he can blame no one but himself. I especially like the line "you'll drink yourself to death" because his death was, in part, due to the potion he drank. (Also here the part "you leave because you're certain of who you want to be" can be seen as Regulus making the final decision to betray Voldemort and steal his Horcrux, which was the choice that led directly to his death).

Natural is Regulus's internal dialogue, whenever he tries to rationalise the values he was raised with ("In this house of mine nothing ever comes without a consequence or cost"), the sacrifices he needs to make to fulfill the role he's supposed to play in the pureblood society ("That's the price you pay" "You gotta be so cold to make it in this world"), and the choice to join the DE ("rather be the hunter than the prey"). He may battle with himself, but at the end of the day he is a natural - a rightful heir - and he takes great pride in that.

LOOKATME is here because of the lines "I lived for validation I met your expectations Pushed down on my temptation That's not what I want". I see Regulus as a dutiful son, a perfect heir, but one that was craving even more power and raw violence than his parents. He was raised to represent the oldest, most noble pureblood family, in a modest and respectable way - instead his greed pushed him to join the extremist group trying to seize the power by force.

you should see me in a crown is self explanatory. (Though I will admit it fits Bellatrix rather than Regulus a smidge better.)

Everybody Wants To Rule The World is the exact moment Regulus learns about Voldemort’s Horcrux - after joining the Death Eaters (Verse 1) and before planning to go to the cave (Verse 2) to destroy it (Bridge and last Chorus). Here the lines “Turn your back on Mother Nature” and “Nothing ever lasts forever” have a double meaning: they refer both to Regulus (when he joins the Death Eaters; and when he decides to sacrifice his life) and to Voldemort from Regulus’s perspective (what Regulus believes making a Horcrux entails; and what he essentially says in his letter).

Emperor's New Clothes can be a Regulus song if you are delusional trying hard enough. The lines that are repeated for the second time is how Regulus is recalling them after he learns about Horcruxes. While at first he was happy to serve and obey and make sacrifices for his Lord, now he is bitter, thinking about the promises (of power) that turned out to be lies (because apparently Voldemort is trying to become immortal). Regulus betrays Voldemort because he feels betrayed by him in the first place, and the feeling of hurt is so strong, the need to do something about it - throw it all away - so overwhelming, he starts wondering if becoming a Death Eater was ever worth it; to the point of questioning his own hunger for power, even trying to convince himself he never craved it in the first place.

Meet Me In The Woods has some “Regulus learning the truth about Horcruxes and slowly realising what he has to do” vibes. And the lyrics of Battle Cry just scream “Regulus making the final decision to steal the Horcrux”.

We Have It All is another perfectly Regulus song. It’s from the perspective of someone who makes a pact with the devil knowing it was the wrong choice, doesn’t entirely regret it (or is only now starting to) and makes excuses for himself - but in the end calls out to someone who could save him.

What The Water Gave Me: water themed suicide painted as a sacrifice for one’s loved ones. Need I say more? That, The Drink Of Despair from the Harry Potter soundtrack, and Deep End refer to the exact moment of Regulus’s sacrifice via the potion in the cave.

There is a lot of irony in Regulus’s sacrifice that accomplished next to nothing and I believe it makes him that much more tragic as a character. He was promptly forgotten by everyone but a house elf, did not help his cause in any way and Voldemort never even found out that it was him who discovered his secret. Hence the last two songs: Goner, which is another one of Regulus’s letters (begging to be known and remembered after his death) and In the End, because it didn’t even matter.

[violetjedisylveon]

Hanging Out Before School Starts (and Biting Bullies)

Eda Raises Two Gods AU chapter 23

Summary: Enzo and Gailine are hanging out before Gailine goes back to school. Boscha is being a jerk to her friends. Gailine bites someone. And gets a high five from Eda.

Word count: 2.6k

Warnings: pretty easy chapter, Boscha gets bitten and there's blood, but pretty easy otherwise.

A/N: some more peaceful stuff before I get back to driving the story forward, sorry for the absence but uh FnaF got to me and Monkie Kid season 5 came out over the summer so I was a bit busy, but I do have through chapter 30 plotted out now!

Happy Halloween and enjoy the spoopy boop fest!

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Enzo flipped through the pages of an old, weathered book. They didn't understand a word of it, but they were looking for images anyway.

Gailine had shown him what that vampire author she was so obsessed with wrote like enough that they could recognize the style at a glance.

“Hey Enzo, wanna go to the slayground?” Gailine asked them with a flop over the box of books next to them.

A small puff of dust went up when she landed on it. Her nose wrinkled in irritation before she sneezed.

“Sure, there's not much here.” They shrugged and put the book they were looking at back.

Gailine excitedly scurried off towards the section of the shop Mama and King had gone off too. Enzo followed behind her much more slowly.

“Eda! Can we go to the slayground?!” Gailine shouted.

The shopkeeper, an old purple demon with big horns and long floppy, shot her an irritated glare. 

“Eh, sure, this place is getting old.” Mama said.

Gailine squealed happily and dashed for the door, grabbing their hand and pulling them out with her as she passed.

The antique shop was near the edge of town, not too far from the slayground they liked to play at.

They got to the park before Mama, she was carrying a tired sleeping King with her, he needed his naps or else he'd be super hyper later.

“Race you to the top of the web tower!” Gailine shouted, darting towards the web tower.

“Hey! You got a head start! No fair!” Enzo shouted after her.

They scrambled up the ropes, quickly gaining the lead over her.

Huh, she's really fast… is she letting me win? Gailine didn't let people win.

He stopped climbing and cranes their neck down to check on her.

Oh.

She was stuck.

Her tail was caught between the cross sections of ropes, she must've picked up something sticky that was keeping her tail stuck.

“Do you want help?” They asked, climbing down.

“It's no use, I'm a goner.” Gailine flopped over the ropes dramatically.

Enzo giggled as they examined the goopy sticky stuff sticking her tail to the ropes. It looked like the abomination goo from her prosthetic, but stickier.

“Did your prosthetic crack again?” He asked.

“No.”

“You got goop on your tail.” They said.

They took the stick they had picked up in the street earlier from their pocket to start picking around the goop.

“Ugh, I was practicin’ abominations this morning, I messed up the spell.” She groaned.

“So it's just abomination goo?” Enzo asked.

That's an easy fix.

“Yeah, but I made it all sticky and-”

Enzo pulled the good off her tail without much effort, they made a fake spell circle to not look suspicious. They returned the miscast goo to its natural state. It landed in his hand with a gooey, wet slap that sent shivers down their spine.

“Here.” They held it out to her.

She stared at the goopy ball in his hand.

“Please take it.”

“Right!” She shouted, making a spell circle of her own to suck it into her prosthetic.

He wiped their hand on his pants to make the phantom feeling go away.

They both got comfortable on the little nesty spots between some of the holes in the ropes. Gailine sat on a higher up nest like usual, she liked to hang upside down and talk.

“You're so good with magic, Enzo. Is that why you aren't going to school?” Gailine asked.

“Huh?” Enzo glanced up at her.

“I heard some kids have to wait to go to school until they're old enough for the more advanced classes.” She explained.

“Oh. Uh, no? I don’t think school is good for me… I think Mama is gonna teach me.” They answered.

“You're so lucky! I don't wanna go back to school, most of it’s so boring.” She groaned.

“I'm sure it can't be that bad.” Enzo guessed.

They had no idea what school was even though Gailine had been talking about it the last two weeks.

“You've never been to school. I have to do math! I hate math!” Gailine complained.

“It's not even any fun yet! We have to do writing and math and history instead of getting to do magic all the time like big kids!” she threw her head back with an irritated grunt.

“You don't do any magic?” they asked.

“We do the basic baby magic stuff, and some cooler magic, but not much of it. It’s no fun.”

“And! People get all weird about hanging around me cause of my pass.” She huffed.

“Pass?” They echoed.

“I do two magics cause of my arm, it's a special case, I guess two magics is bad or somethin’. I don get that, makes no sense.” She said.

“Huh, that sounds strange.” They mused.

“It's stupid is what it is.” She kicked her feet.

“Is that why people don't like Mama?”

“Probably.”

“Then it is stupid. Mama is great!” Enzo declared.

Gailine giggled for a moment then snapped her head towards one of the slayground entrances. Enzo followed her gaze.

The dhampir they saw at Clover’s office was coming in.

“Hey! That's Skara!” Gailine pointed out.

“Skara! Over here!!!” She shouted, standing up and waving her arms around for the dhampir’s attention.

The dhampir in question, Skara, flinched and looked in their direction.

“HI!” Gailine waved.

Skara stared at her with a puzzled expression, she smiled awkwardly and waved back. Gailine hummed in satisfaction as she plopped back down, the ropes bounced on impact.

“Why's she visiting the office?” Enzo asked.

“She was in a really bad accident and got really hurt, that's why Mama had to leave so quick after you f- when we had a sleepover.” Gailine said.

“She was helping her?”

“No, she was helping her Mapa, she's not supposed to cause they're friends, but she said it was okay that time since what they needed was a friend. Skara comes for her own appointments, she mostly sees Emery and Soma.”

“Who are they again?”

“Emery does body stuff, Soma’s the vampire.”

“Oh, right.”

“Is she nice?” They asked.

“She acts mean, I think that's just cause she has mean friends, she does a lot of acting and keeping up appearances, I don't think her Mapa is very involved, Mama says they are busy a lot. She's pretty nice without her meanie friends, she likes to make songs when we play games.” Gailine answered 

“Are you guys friends?”

“Hmm, I think so.” She grinned.

“That's nice.” Enzo nodded.

He turned their attention back to Skara, she was walking better today, she was heading for the exit already.

Voices came from another entrance, three other children entered the slayground. Two were witches, one was not.

The not witch had three eyes, pink skin and violet red hair tied into a bun. Must be a triclops. They got smaller.

The other girls were fairly normal witches, one had brown hair pulled half up, the other had green hair that was just left down.

The triclops was leading the other two, they looked like they were talking about something with each other.

They stopped talking when they caught sight of Skara. Gailine growled softly.

“Skara!” The three witchlings all exclaimed, running over to their friend.

Skara's face flashed with alarm before being obscured by the others.

“Skara! Where have you been?! You just vanished!” The brown haired witchling exclaimed.

“Yeah! We haven't seen you in weeks! Are you okay? Did something happen?” The green haired witchling asked.

The pair bombarded the dhampir with questions, they didn't give her time to answer. Strange way to get answers.

They went on asking and talking over each other until the triclops, leaning over Skara with a wide grin on her face finally spoke up.

“So, where have you been, Starry?” She asked.

“O-oh!” Skara squeaked.

She glanced uncomfortably at her ‘friends’ then averted her gaze to the ground.

“Well… I… um… it's not that important, don't worry.” She said.

“She's a bad liar.” Enzo whispered to Gailine.

She nodded knowingly.

“Were you on vacation?” The green haired girl asked.

“And you didn't tell us?” The triclops asked in fake hurt voice.

“Did someone die?” The brown haired girl said out of nowhere.

All her friends stared at her.

“Uh… no… no one died.” Skara coughed awkwardly.

“I mean, someone almost did but Dad stopped Mapa before they could-” she broke off at all her friends staring at her.

“Your Mapa almost killed someone?!” The two witches squealed in horror.

“Oh you have got to tell us that story!” The triclops said, leaning in much too close.

Skara leaned back.

“I-i… I don't think… it's not good and-”

“She doesn't have to tell you anything.” Gailine interrupted.

The group of witches yelped in alarm at her sudden appearance right next to them.

How'd she get over there so fast? She was sitting right next to me a second ago! Enzo glanced between where she was and where she used to be in confusion.

“Excuse me?” The triclops glared at their friend.

“You can't make her tell you, if you do, you get in big trouble with her Mapa.” Gailine asserted.

“Oh yeah? Are you a tattle tail?” The triclops snarled.

“Yep! Cause you can't ask about this stuff, it's very private.” Gailine growled.

“Boscha, we should get going, we're supposed to be at Amelia's by now.” The brown haired girl said.

“Not yet! I need to deal with the hissy kitty.” The triclops, Boscha, snapped.

Gailine hissed.

“Is that all you can do? Just hiss at me? Huh? Huh?” Boscha sneered,

“Fuck off meanie!” Gailine squealed in a voice reminiscent of King's squeak of rage.

Enzo heard a low rumbling in the distance.

“Ha! Is that how your voice sounds?! It's so squeaky!” Boscha cackled.

“Don't laugh at me!” Gailine spat, her fur puffing up to twice its size.

“Why? What's a little kitty like you gonna do about it?” Boscha asked, getting right in her face.

Bite you. Enzo thought.

“Honestly I don't even know why you're here, this is none of your business.” Boscha flicked Gailine’s nose.

She snapped at Boscha’s outstretched hand with a snarl. Boscha recoiled with a shriek.

“Skara's my friend and you're being mean to her!” Gailine hissed, spitting Boscha's blood out of her mouth

Boscha held her bleeding hand to her chest, glaring at her.

“You brat! I'll-”

A shadow fell over the slayground.

Thud!

A Forest Ground Bat landed on one of the slayground towers, it shot a glare at Boscha while flashing the glow of its bones.

“Fuck off.” Gailine grinned smugly.

The trio quickly left, the brown haired one saying something about getting the bite treated so it wouldn't get infected as she led her friend away.

Enzo hopped off the web tower, pulling a rag out of their bag for Gailine.

“Here.” They handed it to her.

She beamed and took it, quickly wiping her somewhat bloody mouth. Enzo turned to Skara, her cheeks were flushed.

“Your friends are mean.” They told her.

“They aren't mean!” She argued.

“Good friends don't make you talk about bad stuff.” Gailine pointed out.

“They're good friends. They're just worried about me.” Skara looked away.

That sounds familiar.

“Why'd you have to bite her? She'll be so mad about that for ages.” She sighed.

“She touched me without my permission.” Gailine said simply.

Skara winced.

“I'm sorry she did that. Boscha is bad with boundaries.” she apologized.

“Yeah, I think we noticed.” Enzo snorted.

Skara glanced at him again, she tilted her head to the side and blinked.

“I’ve seen you before, who are you again?” She asked.

“This is my friend Enzo! You've seen them at Mama's office!” Gailine cheered, pulling them into a side hug.

Skara made an ‘oh’ face and nodded.

“So, what’re you in for?” she asked jokingly.

“Want a list?” They responded.

“Oh! Is Miss Eda teaching you sarcasm?” Gailine asked.

“Yeah! Do you think I did it good?” Enzo beamed.

“Sure did, Starshine.” Mama's hand ruffled their hair.

They didn't even notice she was with them yet.

“Hey, you're Skara, right?” Mama addressed the dhampir.

“Your dad is looking for you.” Mama said when she got a nod.

Skara rolled her eyes, muttering about her dad under her breath.

“Oh! You should come to my house with your Mapa before school starts! We can play together!” Gailine told Skara.

She gave her an uncertain look before shrugging.

“I'll see if Dad lets me.” She said.

“Bye Skara! Have a good day!” Gailine shouted at her leaving friend.

Enzo felt a tug on their pants. They glanced down to see King looking up at him with big, pleading eyes.

“Ezo! Play!” King chirped, pointing towards the play equipment.

They looked at Mama.

“Go ahead, kiddo.” Mama ruffled his hair again.

They raced to the slide with King on their shoulders.

“You bite someone again, kid?” They heard the sound of Mama taking something of her hair, then liquid pouring into a cup.

“Yes! No regrets! She's a big meanie!” Gailine proclaimed loudly.

“Nice one kid.” Mama gave her a high five.

“Now, wash your mouth out, you don't know where that kid has been.” Mama told her.

“Ezo! Big fluff!” King shouted, pointing out the Forest Ground Bat still hanging around on top of the play structure.

Said Ground Bat turned towards them with a curious ear flick. King squealed excitedly, the bat’s ears flattened against its skull.

“Quiet, King, they have sensitive ears.” Enzo whispered.

“Oh! Quiet, King quiet.” King ‘whispered’.

The ground bat appreciated his efforts to be quieter, craning its head over to them. Its bones had a softer glow than before, it was quite nice.

“Ezo, can me pet?” King asked.

The bat trilled softly, resting its chin on the rails of the play structure. It let out a big puff of air in their faces, Enzo’s nose wrinkled in disgust, it smelled like carrion.

“Its stinky!” King squealed.

It chuffed and licked the top of King’s head. Enzo covered their laugh at the cute angry face King made.

“Bramble!” Gailine threw herself at the ground bat, giving it a big hug.

“Thanks for coming!” She chirped.

The bat chirped in response, carefully prying her off with its wing fingers and dropping her on top of the play structure. She leaned over the edge with a wide grin.

“Wanna come up?!” She asked.

“I-”

The ground bat grabbed the back of their shirt in its jaws and lifted him up. They landed with a soft thump on the smooth roof.

“You can see the beach from here!” Gailine pointed out eagerly.

The sun was setting, turning the sky into a brilliant splash of colors.

“Oh, pretty!” They gasped.

“Yeah!” She agreed readily.

The forest ground bat left them to watch the sunset.

“Do you wanna go to the Odd End after my first day of school?”

“Sure!”

[slovenlyrecordings]

GONER FEST was good fun, first time we've managed to go in years! Thanks to Eric & Zac for bringing out so many of our bands: ANGEL FACE, LOSIN STREAKS, OKMONIKS, and PY PY (of course now also a Goner band, grab their killer new LP, and if you dig it and haven't heard the one we released 10 years ago via Black Gladiator, you're in for a treat!). Memphis is a great town, we'll be back!

[tartrazeen]

So! The magic. :3

I had an interesting think about this, and it covered a few steps at once.

First, I started imagining one of the 'earlier' episodes where the others find out Angus is a changeling at all (and I remembered how to spell 'changeling' 🥲). It was super angsty and turned into one of those "Angus and Rohan endlessly trying to sacrifice themselves for each other" fests. Dramatic and spectacular, really enjoyed it and I'll explain later, but ultimately not what I wanted to go for. It got 'too serious.' And with everything else I've written, me saying, "It's too serious" should sound like the ominous teaser I meant it as.

Next, I came up with a much less angsty version. I started thinking, "Hey, if everything's going immediately to hell, shouldn't there be - like... help from everyone?" Because in the first version, I was picturing even Cathbad being on the 'wrong' side. That seemed out-of-character, because surely for Rohan's sake, Cathbad would've been faster at intervening. Then I thought that was out-of-character too, because even with the mildly antagonistic relationship Cathbad and Angus sometimes have, Cathbad does care about him and has known him for years. So for Angus' sake, Cathbad should've intervened sooner. Then I took it to its logical conclusion and went, "Oh right, Cathbad has visions lmao, he could've had some way to predict this shit before any of it hit the fan." Duh-doy. Sorry, Cathbad. Anyway, that one's closer to the 'official' headcanon-canon I'm going with.

I had a third thought about the others coming across a completely separate changeling (before they found out about Angus) who'd been caught by the family she was trying to sneak into. I liked it, and it formed a wonderful parallel with how Angus and Rohan would stay friends post-reveal - and on the angsty side, a demonstration of how the general public reacts to changelings: drown them in a well.

That, plus the second scenario, morphed into my fourth idea about the magic a changeling would have in this setting. I did some basic googling about changelings, because I didn't want to butcher this, but the way I'm steering it is going to be the meat of this post. I'll talk about the first three ideas in the next one. :)

The magic comes down to two core facts: one from the show, and one from my headcanon. :3

In the show, like I've said before, Angus doesn't do much magic. Not no magic, 'cause that's what glued me onto this idea. But he's not going around summoning monsters or flying or casting fireballs. In other ideas where I give Angus magic, I either make the impact so small that it's easily explained as something that's been happening and folks simply haven't noticed, or so BIG that there's a reason he can't/won't use it. So being a changeling was frustrating 'cause it's right in the middle of those two points.

And a third point: I want Angus to have magic of his own, because the easy answer to explain why we haven't see it - one that some versions of changelings go with - is once they fully establish themselves as a human, their magic evaporates. Which is lame as hell. So I'm not doing that. And the part of the folklore I'm cherrypicking (sorry 😔) to bolster that is how sometimes the changelings will swap back.

Humans are told to care for their changeling child and treat it well, because whatever's done to it will be done to their real child in the fairy realm. But sometimes it also gets the fairies to think, "Oh yay! You did a good job making that fairy grow up okay! We kinda thought it was a goner rofl. We'll be taking it back now plz uwu" or "Wow, it's been a great time being raised by this family. But I've had my fill or I'd just like to be a fairy again, so byeeeee here's your original kid back byeeeee."

I'm tackling it here as a mix of reduced magic and changeling culture that I'm inventing in the show. As always (not that anyone would be), please don't take this as an accurate explanation of what changelings do. Go read up about them! :)

What I mean by reduced magic ties into how the fairies we get in this show tie their power to their size. We only see it once, but it gets a whole episode: The King of Temra, where Mider becomes big. (Also I saw someone spell Mider with an 'e,' not an 'a,' so just until I look into that, I'm gonna use an 'e' for a bit.) Mider's the only fairy who gets to that size while staying magical. Aideen deliberately trades her magic away as payment, becoming human and de-powered, and Fin Varra gives his to Conchobar when they rule each other's kingdoms for a day. But the immediate understanding in Mider's case is, "Holy shit! He's big! And his powers directly scaled up with that!"

To sorta marry that to the version of changelings who lose their magic entirely, I'm gonna flip it around: as changelings get bigger, it takes more magic to do the same amount shapeshifting, so their powers scale down in size.

In my mind with the first post, these changelings looked like feral children with sharp teeth (I'll get back to that), claws, and pointy ears. They act like feral children too. I guess I'm picturing Spider from Avatar 2: Electric Bluegaloo, who was the white human kid running around with white-person-dreadlocks? That. Changelings seem to be anywhere from five to maybe eight years old, and they don't usually get bigger than being waist-high compared to an average human adult.

Shapeshifting for them is different from the elves and pixies we see, too. Those guys can change into objects (like rocks) or animals (like mice). The changelings only shift into other humanoids. They don't need to change their whole body if they only want to alter a limb or two, but when a changeling is big, that's a lot more of a body or a limb to manipulate. It isn't impossible, but it's like running down the block to go to a store versus a half-marathon. I don't think they're stuck with only duplicating things their own size, though. There are a few rare stories of changelings taking the places of adults, so let's call it a "I'm not as young as I used to be" situation.

For their culture, I like the idea that changelings are wild with shapeshifting. It's fun for them to move things around or scramble someone's face up as a prank, like kids who were playing with mud. But when a changeling is dedicated to taking the place of a human, they suddenly get meticulous about their appearance. They can't go with any look. It has to be the right look. They're suddenly sculptors working with clay that's meant to harden into a statue - which makes them a laughing stock to the others for taking it so seriously, since they can reshape that clay, but they're being pretentious about nobody else touching their mastercraft Play-Doh. But it makes sense to the changeling that'll be swapping. When they make their trade, it's a patient acceptance that this is their form forever. They'll age and evolve like a human does, but they won't be smashing things up on a whim just to have to sculpt it back to what they made the first time. They're 'growing up,' thank you very much.

So that should make it 'normal' for Angus to never openly use his magic. For one thing, he can't casually shapeshift into somebody else. It's a lot of work, and not like a flipping a switch. He has to physically craft his face and form into a different person, and then mould it back to how he normally looks when he's done. The magical nature of it means the part that is like flipping a switch is when he 'unlocks his edit mode.' That has to be a conscious choice or he'd have a different face after every fight. And as long as he's seen the person he's going to copy, he can always turns his face into that, so no worries about 'losing' his normal one. But again, being bigger means working with a larger canvas, and the details are so much more visible, and the 'clay' needs to be softened up every time 'cause it was purposely left out to be air-dried...

And then culturally, he - just... doesn't want to. He's looks good, and he's supposed to dump that to look like something else? He picked this face, he mastered it, how would you like to get plastic surgery every time someone said, "Wear a disguise" on a whim?

Another level to that cultural part is how the face he picked is the face of the human kid he stole to swap places with. Before he swapped, he needed to perfect every detail he could, or else he wouldn't blend in with his new family. So as a shape-artist, it's outright shameful to still look like a changeling. It's more reason why the ones who aren't swapping go out of their way to ridicule the swappers - especially the ones who return: "I thought you were too good to be a changeling. Not good enough to pass as a human though, huh? 😏"

This is why failures like Angus don't return if they can't trick their family. It's mortifying to have so thoroughly rejected the very nature of what a changeling is, but to meekly return and admit to the others that you couldn't? And the very few who tried probably set the standard for how openly they got picked apart. That would've led to everyone who swapped staying away forever, even if they failed, so then it would seem like no one ever failed anymore, 'cause no one ever returned to say so. Now when it happens, that changeling has to admit they were wrong and be the first to admit it in probably hundreds of years? Never.

So they don't come back.

And as they live out the rest of their life, they don't ever, ever do anything that looks like they aren't human. Maybe they weren't a perfect copy, but they'll still pass as a human to strangers. It's the only hope they have left to cling to.

This all leads into my second core fact - the one that's from my headcanon. And it's important, 'cause it shapes how the other Mystic Knights find out and how much magic Angus might start to use in front of them.

And that fact is...

... Rohan knows.

'Knows'.

Air quotes included.

The headcanon across all my takes on Angus having magic is that Rohan's always - at the very least - suspected as much. Specifically, he's hoped it's true. He doesn't ever bring it up or ask, 'cause how ridiculous would "Are you a fairy?" sound, but - like...

... idk he thinks it'd be pretty cool...

and rohan's always liked fairies so...

But since he can't ask, and since (if he was right - not that he was) Angus obviously had a reason for hiding it from him, Rohan's simply been making mental notes for his fan theory about his friend.

He's grown up passing it off as a silly kid thing. Obviously Angus isn't a fairy, and Rohan's taking that daydream to his grave. He does think it's funny how much lines up to have given a kid that misunderstanding, but again, only a kid would think that. Not a man. Which Rohan is. He's very manly. Cathbad said so.

Like (after googling it), there's the fact that Angus is always after food. Growing up, starving together, Angus did work hard to keep them fed. I have a story about how far it went without Rohan even realizing, but within what he does remember, he'd often have to fight Angus over the last scraps they had. Angus would try to give it to Rohan, Rohan would want to split it, Angus would say there wasn't enough to split, Rohan would say that Angus should have it then, and Angus would try to trick or force Rohan into just eating the damn food. It was desperate, but kind. And it mattered so much more when he knows how often Angus would talk about their next meal. And it was normal, because they were starving. Angus didn't have to be a fairy for that.

... But to imagine Angus was a fairy? Secretly, it made the sacrifice even more amazing. If Rohan ever had to tell the truth, then yes, there'd been a few times he refused to eat because he didn't want a fairy to starve. He didn't think he'd be cursed for it, but it didn't seem right. He wasn't going to say that though, since it's embarrassing he let himself be so convinced.

Then there's how Angus has always liked gold and jewels and such. Of course he did! They were poor. They needed that gold to get food and everything else, so obviously Angus would obsess over it. And... sure, gold was a pretty colour. Rohan wasn't so attached to the look that he'd snap his head around after catching a glimpse of it, or mourn for a day or two because he 'missed' the gems he'd... 'found,' and traded for bread. So Angus didn't need to be a fairy for that either.

... But being a fairy would make the obsession inescapable. Angus did dumb things all the time, and some of that was from trying to risk himself to get extra gold they didn't strictly need, but that Angus didn't want to leave behind. Rohan wouldn't go so far as saying that being a fairy would make it all better, as if he hadn't been terrified when Angus got hauled away or beaten when he got caught. But it made the quirk feel more... endearing, he supposed. Troublesome, but out of an innocent love for it, not a malicious greed. Those led to the same destination, but Rohan liked the fairy's journey more.

And then there was Rohan himself. He never like to question why Angus liked him; in the end, Rohan was grateful no matter what the reason was. But they would have their fights the same as any friends, and Angus would sometimes leave. Rohan would just have to sit and hope it wasn't forever. Over winter, with Rohan in the castle and Angus somewhere else, he'd also have to hope that when spring came, Angus hadn't forgotten him. There, Rohan's fantastical belief worked against him. Fairies moved on a lot, didn't they? And they took any insult as a grievous offence? Whenever those moments happened, Rohan would be left in a wake of terror that he'd finally gone too far, and Angus was never coming back.

He did. Sooner or later, Angus always returned, and would have practically forgotten there'd been a fight. And he always showed up in the spring, bored and hungry and ready for Rohan to be a fix for both. None of it relied on being a fairy. Humans got offended too, and Kells had hard winters. Rohan wouldn't have blamed him for leaving.

... But it was how Angus would come back. That he would. Over and over. Without any reason for it outside of a shrug and a lazy, "Why wouldn't I?"

Fine. They'd been friends for long enough. Why wouldn't he?

But it glossed over how they'd made it that far to start with.

When they met, Rohan was unconscious and pinned under a tree in a forest. It wasn't normal for boys to be running through those woods alone. Rohan... well, he wasn't the most 'normal' of boys anyway. It wasn't too odd that it happened to him.

But why was Angus there?

Surely a hunter or some sort of adult should've been the one to find him. Someone with a purpose for passing through. But it was Angus, who had no reason to be wandering a forest at all.

Rohan had an answer. The official explanation was that Angus had been running away. It made sense.

But it was so convenient, wasn't it?

Then for Angus to have noticed Rohan under the leaves that the storm had blown around...

Normally anything that meant walking more would put Angus right off of it. But just this once, he'd gone out of his way to see what was in the leaves? What had even caught his attention? Rohan had been motionless on the ground, and he'd been six. Angus once handwaved it as luck, before joking that Rohan's hair looked a little bit like gold. And that was enough for human eyes to spot him in there? His hair?

He didn't have much reason to argue it. But on the other hand, gold-coloured hair seemed like exactly the thing that would draw a fairy over.

But then - after all of this - to choose to keep Rohan around? There'd been dozens of times where Rohan asked what Angus liked about him, and Angus would say that Rohan was always up to something fun. But in the dirt, in the forest, unconscious and under a tree - was that fun enough to explain why Angus let Rohan join him? Was it such an interesting set of circumstances that Angus had to take care of them both, purely to see what Rohan would do next if he managed to live for that long?

They all had reasonable, non-magical explanations. As Rohan got older, Angus' answers never changed. On their own, they didn't seem suspicious. Maybe Angus could wonder the same about him: why would Rohan be in a forest alone if he wasn't a fairy himself?

But.

Taken together.

Angus liked gold and jewels.

Angus adored food.

Angus would always sing to himself - and to Rohan, when Rohan was sick.

Angus was always playing tricks. Angus would sneak into places he shouldn't. Angus would charm everyone for favours. Angus could never resist a joke. Angus was endlessly, endlessly drawn to magic.

It didn't 'prove' anything. And Rohan was - definitively - too old to think it would. Some people simply acted a bit more like fairies than others. None of it's impossible for humans.

The feeling in Rohan about this certainly tamped down when they entered Tir Na Nog. Here they were, among the Little People, and none of them were claiming Angus as their own. It was at the bottom of his revelations from that day, but it was there. If Rohan wanted proof, he had it: Angus had to be human. Of course.

It wouldn't change their friendship, and Rohan would have never fooled himself so badly to feel disappointed. If anything, he could double down on his gratitude for Angus being the only human in the world to understand him. That made it more impressive, didn't it? No fairy magic. No fairy rules. No fairy debt or reward. Just two friends who met in the strangest of places, then stuck together through everything the world threw their way.

Perhaps, for fun, he remembers his childish theory now and then. Angus might do something or laugh in a certain way, and Rohan understands why the thought had once consumed him. Angus always has had a way of filling others with life, and how else could Rohan explain it? Knowing real and honest fairies made it even plainer to see that if Angus had been one of them, he would've still stood out. Everyone in Tir Na Nog loved food and gold and dancing, but that didn't make them like Angus.

In the end, Rohan's proud to say it doesn't matter.

But he doesn't see the harm in listening to Angus hum while they make dinner, and still pretending it's a spell to make the water boil faster.

Or when he ropes Angus into gathering herbs with him for Cathbad, pretending the trick he played to bring Angus along - one that made Angus grin but swear to get Rohan back for it - was a perfectly normal way to invite a fairy out for chores.

Or when the hazelnuts are ready and he gives Angus a bowl, pretending it was only fairy teeth that could crack the shells by biting them.

(That last one had its own story. Angus asked him once why Rohan didn't use his teeth. He didn't want to say he'd tried and hurt himself, so Rohan mumbled something about doing it like they did at the castle. Angus laughed and called him fancy. But he stopped biting them open, too. Rohan always felt bad about that, though he wasn't sure he knew why. He even asked Angus why he stopped. Angus said he didn't remember biting them open in the first place, and the embarassment of Rohan not guessing they'd probably all been partially cracked already was a healthy reminder for why Rohan would never dare to ask, "Are you a fairy?" He couldn't handle the blaze of common sense it would set off.)

:3

>:3

So.

For the changelings, I want them to have claws because I think it helps them look more unique. The Tir Na Nog fairies and elves don't really have them. Mider does, and he's supposed to be evil, and I like the claws as that same visual shortcut to saying someone isn't inherently friendly (at a minimum, the changelings' idea of friendliness is like Tir Na Nog's idea of beauty. Poor Deirdre). It also seems like it'd be practical for them as feral hellions climbing everywhere, and even for their face-sculpting and shapeshifting. Like chisels, maybe.

Their ears, I think should be pointy 'cause all the fae in this show have it like that. It's literally only humans who have round ones. So it's for the sake of tradition, I guess.

I don't really wanna do anything to their eyes. It seems like overkill, and maybe a little try-hard.

:3

The teeth.

The teeth are their signature.

I'm probably patting myself on my back too hard about how 'subtle' I was, since it wasn't subtle at all (😔). That's partly because it's the one I elaborated on and partly because have you ever tried to bite a fuckin' hazelnut

I hope it came through, but what that little aside was supposed to be about was what do you mean Angus can bite open a hazelnut

Like with his teeth?

A hazelnut?

(and I was gonna go, ":3c tee-hee" but this post isn't done yet so if you wanna go back and see if you can figure out what happened in that, this would be the time. Spoilers in 3, 2, 1)

I want these teeth:

Not cute little fangs. I want teeth where if you put your finger in there, it's gonna come off like you stuck it in a bear trap.

I want zero chance of saying, "Wow, that human has oddly sharp canines!"

I want 100%, "What the fuck is that"

You see a little kid in a forest and you miss the claws and the ears? You aren't missing these teeth.

Now lemme ask: how closely are you looking at the back molars in your friends' mouths?

You can see the nice, flat, square teeth at the front when they talk, right? Super noticeable!

You'll see the ones on either side of the canines when you're smiling at each other.

But even if you see their back teeth when their mouths are open, are you specifically seeing square molars, or are you just registering that there are teeth and then not being weird about it past that?

Because my thinking is changelings, in the midst of copying their target, don't quite realize they need to change all their teeth. They only see the ones in the front. The successful swappers will either do their homework once they've lured the kid closer to take a look, or get away with it until they realize their mistake and make an adjustment before their family notices.

Angus is not a successful changeling, remember?

And I apologize for my ignorance, but I'm not sure "crackin' hazelnuts with besties" is a regular past-time for people. Which means two things:

Angus didn't know humans can't chew through hazelnut shells like carrots. Maybe he knew they couldn't use their dumb front teeth, but he assumed everybody had the same back molars as changelings.

Rohan didn't know humans can't chew through hazelnut shells like carrots. This poor kid just thought he had dumb, weak teeth, but didn't want to admit it to the obvious human in front of him who wasn't struggling at all.

Once that point was made, Angus uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh stopped using his teeth for that. I'm pretty sure he fixed his teeth right after, and I'm sure he was pissed at having these basic-ass baby chompers, but he fixed them and then denied ever doing what he was CLEARLY doing, and Rohan finished the job by rationalizing it in his head as, "Oh, those hazelnuts must have been pre-cracked." 'Cause "sure, let's go with that! :D"

I love it. Here's Rohan systematically going through all the circumstantial evidence for why Angus might've been a fairy - based mostly on vibes - and throwing away the one objective piece he ever got.

The last thing I'll say about these changelings' magic is what specific gifts they have. It's - as I said - lame as hell for Angus not to have his own magic, but he's not going to suddenly start face-swapping or being an ultra master of disguise. I don't want to lose his personality by being too powerful.

But if he can't shapeshift, what other stuff can changelings do? I looked around - the list is short. Claws and teeth? That's fairly common among fae creatures. And I already took Angus' claws away from him, because we see him in the episode with the dragon egg: he uses a knife to cut through the grass and dig a hole. Same thing when he's captured in the wish episode: he uses a sharp rock to cut himself loose. He's not a biter either, so I've also taken away his teeth. It's why I put in the part about having a cultural reason to not use those: he doesn't want to look like a changeling. And he's never been in a position without a tool to replace his claws, because he's resourceful enough to gather those tools or he's somewhere that claws wouldn't even make a difference (like when Maeve captures him in the early episodes). It all works.

Tracking? Pickpocketing? Lockpicking? He can do those things on his own.

So...?

:/

Look - this was the other reason I wasn't on board when Schimmelspore first said Angus could be a changeling. My imagination doesn't have a ton of practise with shapeshifting, and that's on me. My bad. Listening and learning.

So since I've decided to be weirdly specific about what he won't do, I have to come up with what he will do... eventually. I don't think he'd start to do it overnight, but maybe, if the others prove they're okay with him being a changeling (and they have DECADES of internalized convictions to overcome in that regard), he might do something in an emergency situation that doesn't leave him feeling too non-human for long. And with enough positive reinforcement, he might start doing it more often (setting up for an episode where he's doing it so much that it finally makes him panic and freak out).

Here's my idea: magical muscle memory.

(i know but give me a minute)

Angus isn't going to change his whole body. But in the episode where Mider got big, Cathbad threw a powder at Angus right after to see if he was human. To me, idk, that seems like quite a specific powder to have on hand. How often are non-humans appearing as humans that Cathbad has it in a bowl right beside him?

What makes better sense is that it's a powder to break an enchantment or an illusion. It's not testing if something's human, but if it's presenting itself as what it really is. This might be the same stuff he sprinkled on the fairy-dog in the episode where Fin Varra went missing, and maybe even on Deirdre to reverse the petrification (which didn't work, because she had been genuinely turned to stone).

So Angus passes the test, because he doesn't have an illusion up; this is what he is. It's the difference between wearing stilts to be tall versus growing until you're actually tall, and then having a powder thrown on you called "Delete Stilts": one of those scenarios is not going to produce results, even if you used magic to make both of them happen. It might even be why no other fairy clocks him as fae. For all intents and purposes, he's a human. But he could change back to not being one if he wanted to.

The general limitation of shapeshifters is that they can't copy someone they haven't seen. It's not a universal rule, but it's good one to keep them from being overpowered. Taking that, and the bit where I said changelings can change parts of their body, let's imagine a scenario to see how the muscle memory plays out:

Angus breaks into Cathbad's chamber. He knows what Cathbad's like, and he's trying to find a particular powder to abscond with. He doesn't shapeshift into Cathbad, but he is able to change enough inside of himself to copy Cathbad's general instincts. Ten he thinks to himself, "If I were Cathbad, where would I turn in this room to put a powder that makes you brave?" And when he lets his new muscle memory turn him around, he's facing a specific cabinet full of powders. Good enough for him! He goes over and finishes searching it himself, and sure enough, that's where the powder was (or at least where it would've been if Cathbad hadn't purposely filled it with a note to taunt him for needing it 🙃 if he wanted that, angus could've just gone back to the other changelings).

See? Magical muscle memory: phase 1. And it's the sort of magical effect that a show in the 90s could film by having the actor go, "🤔 okay i'm thinkiiiing... i'm using my power but you just can't see it... okay here's the answer 🙂 i'm facing the direction or walking towards the thing hidden in this room."

And because it's only for people Angus has actually met before, he can't use it in every single scenario. If we bump it up to only people he's studied, you get to use it in all the recurring villains' lairs (and poor Cathbad's room) but never on their first appearance. Probably not if they've hidden their identity, either. It's mostly for hijinks, and it's likely the only magic Angus has been using.

Magical Muscle Memory Phase 2 gets into those sweet, sweet 90s special effects. This is the stuff the others would have to gently build him up to. There'd need to be so much trust involved, because - again - he's not even using his claws when he's by himself. He wouldn't do this in front of other people if it wasn't desperately needed, and he'd go down with the ship if he didn't think he could trust those people anyway.

Here, he actually changes his hands into someone else's hands. Or arms - whatever, he wears long sleeves most of the time. But by doing that, it's not a 'vibe' anymore. It's the actual muscle memory of that person.

How does it help?

Oh I dunno, maybe you want to recreate a potion somebody once made, or find the exact bottle on the shelf that has the antidote.

Maybe you need to unlock something with a combination rather than a key. Maybe your best friend's an idiot who keeps accepting random duels, and there's no better practice than sparring someone who can use a sword exactly like their opponent can (but not any weapon their opponent hasn't used in front of them yet, so you better hope the duel is with a sword 👀).

Maybe you need to forge a king's royal handwriting :3

I'd like to think these are applications that Angus has never tried, or straight-up forgot were possibilities because it's been so long - or because he so completely cut himself off from his powers to commit himself to his human appearance. Either way, it'd let the others come up with ideas for Angus, and that in and of itself might show enough support for who he is to convince him to try it.

And how would a show from the 90s film this? :D

By getting the other character's actor to wear the sleeves and then only focusing on their hands. Or getting the other character's actor to just put their arm beside him, so Angus' torso still looks like him, but the arm and hand is the other person's. Or superimposing the other actor's arm onto Vincent Walsh's arm - depends on the budget! Go crazy! But it'll be the adorable, slightly hokey effect we all love from the shows in that era.

Magical Muscle Memory Phase 3 would be actual shapeshifting. He's not doing that.

But Angus and Rohan are gonna have a long conversation about where he stands on gills 🤔

Ooh, I'm havin' a thought.

Back to Fae!Angus, right?

Schimmelspore said something like this ages ago, that Angus as a fae could've been a changeling. Now at the time, I was thinking, "I'm not sure how that would work, especially when Rohan seems to be the better fit for it" - y'know, because Rohan has a brother (who could've been the changeling) with actual demon blood.

But like

I'm thinking now

Maybe I was being too simple about it. Or overcomplicating it or something. 🤔

Because now it seems totally obvious: Angus as the changeling that took the place of whatever human child it was.

I guess it's because I've been rereading all these threads? And one core piece of my headcanon I've always kept is how Angus first encounters Rohan by finding the kid knocked out in the middle of a forest. I don't know why it's such a vivid image in my mind - Angus hovering over Rohan as Rohan wakes up, being the first thing he sees as the world comes back into focus - but it is. The part that must've been throwing me off is how they would get there.

Rohan doesn't mention where he was before they met, which stands out, because he talks about never knowing his real family all the time. But again, I'm overthinking it: wherever he was, he wasn't with his 'real' family. And because he's obviously willing to settle down after Cathbad gives him a bed, wherever he'd been before must've been shitty enough that Rohan needed to get away from them.

So, Occam's Razor of clichés: probably a horrible orphanage. Assuming orphanages existed back then - it could've been a shitty farm that took kids in as free labour, and had the older kids raising the younger ones as future free labour. That gives me a reason for why anyone would be taking care of a baby, why Rohan knew it wasn't his real home, and why he eventually left: it sucked.

It doesn't explain that "You were stolen from me" line from Maeve very well, though. The reason I thought the changeling idea applied to him better was the 'bad deal' angle I could work in with that: Maeve traded Rohan for a monster she could use for a weapon, thought she'd been tricked into only getting a half-demon, and couldn't get a refund. 'Stolen.' Or just outright targeted by changelings and stolen that way, but 'stolen' in that sense implies a sort of "You took my baby :(" grief. Maeve isn't grieving Rohan. It's more "Hey, you ripped me off >:( I overpaid" energy.

But I'll figure out what that means later. 🤔 Whatever kind of deal Maeve made must've ended with Rohan getting taken away and dumped somewhere loveless (for him to want to leave) but loving enough for him to be fed and cared for as a useless baby. Exploitative child labour farm works for that.

The other option is, "A very nice family took me in but they all died :(" or "They were nice but I felt my destiny calling me." I could see the show picking one of those (because why would it pick Child Labour Farm), but they sound like cop-outs. Why wouldn't Rohan ever mention that family, then? To me, he doesn't bring up where he used to live either because he doesn't remember (which is what my old Fae!Angus idea was going for), or he hates them and doesn't think they're worth talking about (Child Labour Farm).

Anyway, it's important for me to sort that out in my head 'cause it clears the way to talk about Angus. Why was Rohan in the forest that day? Deliberately leaving or escaping where he was.

So why was Angus there?

I've talked about how Angus never mentions wanting to know who his family is, and how I take it as proof that he already knows. As in, Angus isn't an orphan. He's a runaway. I'm picturing a similar kind of thing as what I just described for Rohan, except this was Angus' actual family: awful, shitty, abusive, so eventually, he left. And as he wanders around, he finds Rohan.

Putting a Fae lens on it it still ends up working. Maybe even a little better? Maybe it's more grimly ironic? Because Angus doesn't mention wanting to know his family, but Rohan does, and Angus never seems bothered by that. He doesn't call it wishful thinking or a waste of thinking. Like, I'd imagine someone who ran from an abusive home saying, "Be careful what you wish for, Rohan. You might find your family and hate them. Trust me, it happens." But the closest he gets is getting mad at Rohan for placing Lugad, his blood half-brother, above the family he's been raised by. Like he's saying - well, he does say it: "You'd trust that monster out there more than the family that raised you?" It's focused on behaviour. If Lugad had been super chill from the beginning, Angus probably wouldn't've been so hostile about it.

I'm getting ahead of myself lmao

Back it up: what am I picturing here?

Fae!Angus. The fairy version, before he goes into the human world. I dunno how old he is, but from what I read in other books, he's still gonna be able to think like a child even if he's lived for longer than that. Sort of a Peter Pan situation, where he and the others never grow up.

He sees others doing their swaps. He sees the human kids come in and eventually become fairies as well when the magic passes into them: they're eating the food, they're in the realm, it all completes the transformation.

Eventually, he gets curious and goes to see what humans are like, and he finds a family he slowly gets attached to from afar. They seem nice. And nice in a way where he's beginning to understand why other fairies were making their own trades; he wants to be a part of this.

The longer he spends among his kind - loud, tricky, squabbling, childish imps - the more he wants to move on to that soft, warm home and be loved. He mulls it over for what could be ages, but eventually decides to do it.

Angus makes the trade.

It's easy. The human kid doesn't take much to lure away, and he's helped capture enough kids as part of other fairies' lures that he knows how excited everyone is to join and help. In the meantime, Angus uses his magic to become that human's perfect twin.

Except...

Well, it's still Angus. The job gets done but there are a few details missing. Maybe Angus (being so pretty in the show 👀💖) thought he'd be - like, a better-looking version of the kid as an upgrade for his new parents. Or maybe he just missed making a change or two because he didn't think it would matter. Either way, there's something ever, ever so slightly 'off.'

The family can tell. They're stupid humans, so it isn't right away. But they notice something's strange and make little comments to each other about it. Angus can hear and realizes he's gotta fix those mistakes: ears, nose, eyebrows, whatever they're guessing might be 'it,' he adjusts during the night.

But he's still 'off.'

The family starts getting tense. Then angry. First at each other, for being so lost in crazed paranoia. Then at him, for having something wrong with him. Then at each other again, for suggesting they do something about it. No matter what he changes now, he can't kill their suspicion. What he has killed is any hope of the home he made this trade for.

... So he leaves.

Just like that.

I mean, Rohan says it too: "When there's trouble, Angus is gone." Why wouldn't it already be a habit? There's trouble at this home, so he leaves it.

And maybe he's wandering back to his own kind again, or maybe he's wandering aimlessly. That second one would be interesting, as if he's not allowed to go back after he makes the trade. Like it's sink or swim out there, and even if the family you joined tries to kill you, it's no reason to go back to the other fairies. They don't live as a 'family' that way. There's no unconditional love or acceptance, which was what drew Angus into this swap in the first place.

But while he's on the move, he cuts through a forest and gets distracted from his thoughts (and rage and grief and embarrassment)... by some ginger kid knocked on his ass in the middle of this place. He goes to check it out, hovering over that kid's head, which is when Rohan starts to open his eyes.

What I like is how it fits in with the show, recontextualizing some of it. When Rohan says in the wish episode that he'd use it to know who his family is, Angus gives a wistful, uncommitted sound. Then he says it'd be a good wish, which Rohan seems to appreciate. But unlike with Ivar and Deirdre, Angus doesn't try to pivot it back to what he wants to wish for instead (gold). We know he can't relate to Ivar and Deirdre's things at all. But he can relate to Rohan's wish. He knows what sort of fantasy Rohan is picturing, because it's the same one Angus traded his life among the fae for. And deep down, part of him would still like to have that. But he's sticking with the wish for gold, because he's had his chance at that fantasy. He screwed it up. Getting it again would only be a second chance to ruin it.

Gold can't hurt him. He can't disappoint gold.

Then when it comes to Lugad, with Rohan putting so much emphasis on them being brothers - Angus can get that too. Brothers! Amazing! But the way his 'brother' is treating him, trying to kill him, Rohan shouldn't want that. He should walk away, like Angus did. And the fact that Rohan isn't walking off is driving Angus a little crazy.

When Rohan finally admits to the others that they're his family, that's when Angus gives a muted reaction. You'd think he'd be celebrating Rohan seeing the light, but no. It makes me wonder if he thinks Rohan is settling. Not that it isn't nice that Rohan agreed to it at last, but that it's kind of sad they all have to pretend this is "as good" as having a true, blood-related (by magic or otherwise) family to call his own. Angus will play into it, obviously. That's what friends do. But deep down, they all know this isn't... 'real,' right?

Maybe that's the fae in him talking.

But maybe it's the same fae that's never called Rohan anything other than his best friend. 'Almost brothers' isn't brothers, and one thing Angus might've always liked about Rohan is that they both understood this. So maybe it's sad seeing Rohan seek refuge in the delusion. But it's all Rohan has now, right? He tried to make the swap, and his family tried to kill him. Angus won't abandon the guy, but it's such a farce to call this a replacement - even though Angus tried calling them a family first, back when he was yelling at Rohan for not wanting to fight Lugad - that he's going to prove how not-a-real-family they are and ask Deirdre for a widdle kiss uwu

He can't help himself. Angus knows it's not the same thing. He's okay with tricking others, especially if it helps bring Rohan some tiny comfort, but he can't trick himself here.

It's not the same.

I'd want to follow this into an arc where Angus has to eventually go back to his people. The 'failure' - or worse, the adult, because Angus actually grew up - returning to seek help with some part of Rohan's quest or Fin Varra's riddle. Maybe for help against Nemaine. Something. And they laugh hysterically at him for screwing up his swap, but laugh even harder when they learn how far he's willing to go to help his human friends.

And they say it like the word is soaked in poison. Friends. Angus gave up everything he had to get a family, and all he has is friends?

Friends are conditional.

Friends are fickle.

Friends aren't bound to you.

Friends are a bad trade.

Angus is forced to listen to their evil, little chattering and suck it up. He can't really argue - not just because he needs their help for whatever, but because he's gotta admit they're totally right. And that embarrassment of failing so miserably with the family he tried to join comes back, eating at his mind, and ohhhhhh the other fae can feel it radiating off of him, even though he tries to hide it. So he doesn't defend himself against what they're saying. And yet what takes it from bad to worse is if he brought the others along (I'm thinking at least Deirdre here because she loves jumping in with a spirited defence of what's right) and they pipe up about the power of friendship and what close friends they've been.

The other fae, all grimy and child-sized, HOWL with laughter at this. It gets to a point where it starts to hurt (not Angus, who's only quiet because he's fuming), until they stop and switch to ask how good of friends they are when they didn't even know Angus was fae.

The others don't have an answer. I figure Rohan would, but either he's not here with them now or he seems to know to hold his tongue. One look at Angus and the storm in his eyes would be the sharpest clue there is to give it away.

I imagine Angus interrupting to 'humour' the other fairies. He's using his 'on' voice - the one where he's making a big performance of it, and the fairies are eating up what he's saying: friends are just friends, they all know that, but let's move this along and get to the help Angus came here for. The fairies might hem and haw but at least they decide to give the Mystic Knights a clue, which is more than what they had before. Angus takes it and leaves, and the others follow after him (Deirdre, assumedly, annoyed that it's letting those awful, pint-sized gremlins 'win'). I even imagine her complaining how mean it was to have Angus forced to pretend he agreed.

... Angus doesn't challenge her. He doesn't confirm what she's saying either, though. And Rohan would probably be the only one who can notice.

A real twenty-two minute episode would be too short for everything I'm seeing. We'd need a couple where he's revealed as a fae and the others adjust to it. A few where they see if he has any magic left to help in quests (eh, I'll come back to this). But then, finally, one where they go back to the other changelings, now that they've been building it up for a while. Angus' reluctance to go back would be the focus, and it'd explain why he's so quick to want to leave, too. Leaving forever isn't because the other fae won't accept him back. It's not like, "We'll kill you if we ever see you here." But it is like, "We will never let you forget this for as long as you live." And fairies? They live for a fucking long time.

So Angus finally getting hit with that insulting barrage - the most excruciating thing he's experienced, even if he's being stonily silent about it now - brings on an entirely new dynamic among the others. That word felt soaked in poison because it was poison. Angus is suddenly pulling back, more aloof and cavalier with them. Getting him to be a part of the team is now a 'favour,' and it's like he's more and more annoyed by how many of these 'favours' he's handing out. Eventually, with the others trying to corner him and find out what's wrong, guessing and suspecting and whispering about the something that it might be, he snaps. The words sound mild, maybe, but they show how hollow Angus feels after having had this rot away in his mind.

"I get it," he says, while being smothered by these people who don't have a reason to be this close and in his face all the time. "We're friends. But we're only friends. I don't need to do everything you ask just because of it. It's friendship, not a contract. It's not as if we're married."

This is sort of what I'm saving Rohan for. Because I think this is where he gives his wistful, uncommitted sound. This is what he went through when he was trying to accept the others as 'good enough,' because forcing himself to give up his dream of a perfect, blood-related family wasn't easy. It's what he himself wanted his whole life. And Angus gave up his life among the fairies to get it, and he failed. Trying to be satisfied with friends, in the way Rohan knows Angus is imagining?

It's another bit of a recontextualization of the wish episode again: Rohan was the one to sit the others down and talk about the value of friendship. He understands what it's like getting so caught up in a dream that you lose sight of what's in front of you. But he's not the same as Angus, who made excuses and said Rohan needed time alone when the 'Maeve is my mother' secret came out. Instead, Rohan'll tell the others to be gentle, and to be patient, but to keep their hand of friendship outstretched.

The changelings had all chittered that friends were fickle and conditional, right? That was what Angus had to be thinking, Rohan will explain. Now, more than ever, they have to prove they're not going to leave him - or let Angus leave first in some twisted point about being abandoned. He's a flight risk, remember? They know what he's like.

This is the plot that an episode could follow. The one before it could be the set-up to go and see the other fairies, which lets this one follow Angus reuniting with them, hearing what they say, falling back into those conscious beliefs, and withdrawing in an angry, confused, and humiliated panic. It's to get the other Mystic Knights slowly luring him back to them, refusing to give up, and believing in him enough (thanks to Rohan) to finally drop the "What's wrong what's wrong what's wrong something's wrong something's wrong with you what's wrong" interrogation. They force themselves to let the tension fizzle away. Angus tests it, suspects it, but they either don't react or they tell him to cut it out because he's treating them poorly. It's almost like... kinda psychological warfare, in a way? Where they're purposely refusing to engage and making him confront the fact that he keeps expecting the worst from them.

This would be playing out as they follow the clue they were given. Maybe it was a fetch quest, because I want the episode to end with Angus coming back to other fae. The clue could've been to a McGuffin, and only with that McGuffin will the changelings give the Mystic Knights what they were here for. It's far off - really far off - to let it take a few nights around a campfire. That's perfect for Angus to storm off when he's hit his limit. He can go get firewood or something, returning the first few times to hear them talking about him. Then Rohan does his intervention. Then the talking stops. Or at least it moves to regular chitchat of close friends making the most of a miserable fetch quest together.

The audience would know about Angus luring the human kid he swapped with out into a forest. That's because I want Angus to be in a forest when he finally has his epiphany.

The human kid? The one who's now transformed? That kid follows after Angus purely to ask him questions.

It's awkward, obviously, for Angus to come face-to-face with... well, essentially his own face. Just child-sized. And the original. It's a little off from his own still, but the human-fairy skips right by all that.

"What's it like being an adult?"

"How did his human life turn out?"

"He lives near a castle now?"

"He's a magical knight?"

"What are the fairies in Tir Na Nog like?"

"What does he do all day?"

And Angus, maybe a little surprised and speechless, stammers through a couple of answers before he launches into the great adventures that he's had. The human-fairy's captivated - it all sounds fun! Angus doesn't realize for a moment but... yeah. He agrees. It's been fun. And he means that as the fae do: his kind absolutely worship having fun. They barely stopped screeching and playing long enough to send the Mystic Knights out here - in fact, they didn't stop playing. The only break they took from tumbling around was to laugh hysterically at Angus' failure, which was fun for them in another way. So for him to say it's been fun, and to mean it...?

He's surprised by how happy it makes him.

It feels nostalgic.

But - look, he's not going to be face-to-face with the face he stole and not ask questions of his own. Angus wants to know if the human-fairy's angry at being kidnapped.

The human-fairy - who can't be more than six, which lines up with how young I imagine Rohan was when Angus found him (adding a bit more nostalgia to that too) - shrugs and says he isn't sure. Being with the fae is a lot of fun, and it's been so long since he's seen his family that he doesn't quite remember them. He doesn't feel compelled to find them, though, and that's because it's almost like he never left.

And Angus stops the boy to ask what that means. 'Never left'?

The boy says even though he can't picture his family's faces, he remembers how it felt to be with them. And as the only other person who's lived in the same families as Angus, he can say pretty confidently that the fae make him feel the same.

They're not the same. The fae are loud and sharp and exciting. His family felt... softer. Cozy. Peaceful. But he feels the same about them. They're both home to him. He used to only have one home, but then he became a fairy and now he has another.

So... the boy doesn't want to go back?

The human-fairy shrugs again. Maybe one day. When he's ready to settle down and be a boring oaf of an adult. "But you don't sound boring," the boy says, through a sharp, shark-like set of changeling teeth. "Maybe I'll go and be a magical knight too."

"I think there's only six," Angus says.

"There will be," the boy answers.

Their teeth are sharp. On many levels, that vicious little grin is pointed.

... Nostalgic. The spark of this threat - the game in it - breathes life back into a part of him that Angus thought had died. Grinning back in a way that would've been just as sharp if he had those teeth, he tells the boy, "Try it. Fair's fair."

"Don't make it easy," the boy says.

On that faintly deliriously hum of fun, the boy takes his leave. The challenge was made, the game's been set, and maybe someday Angus will have a changeling trying to swap back.

... Not into a family, though, as they usually would.

The epiphany comes. Gentle and soft and cozy.

It would be into a family, Angus understands. That's what the others are to him.

They're not the same as the fae, but he knows what that human-fairy meant by it: they feel like home. The people he'd tried to swap into never did. Understandable. He can admit that now. But the way the others have taken him in, and how they haven't changed even knowing what he is...

They're fun.

He might be practically human now, but it's still the most important thing to him. Fun can mean loving and loyal and - unbelievably - even quiet. But it's all fun, isn't it? To him anyway.

The other fae would howl again if they heard that. But deep down inside of him...

... He's okay with it.

He cares. He still cares. But he doesn't feel the anger and grief at the thought of them laughing at his failure anymore. When he thinks about it, yes, he botched the swap he was trying to make. But he didn't botch the swap that he got.

It's interesting.

Being consumed by such a calm realization...

He doesn't even jump when he hears the leaves crunching behind him. Somehow it makes perfect sense for Rohan to arrive, and to find each other in another forest.

Rohan asks him if he's ready to leave, putting a hand on Angus' shoulder. It isn't a tug. It's just an offer to join them at the campfire.

And it's night.

Angus lured that human kid into the forest at night back then.

The flicker that thought stirred awake fizzled out before he even named its emotion.

It'd been daylight when he and Rohan first met. But when Rohan woke up, Angus didn't need to lure him into going anywhere. Rohan was already leaving his own home, so the two leaving the forest together made sense. In fact, Rohan practically followed Angus out on his own. For no reason.

Just for fun.

And that thought, almost overwhelming him, was friendship. Angus couldn't speak around it, but it must've been clear on his face, because the hand on his shoulder gave a short squeeze. Time to go home, he figured. Back out together again.

He'll be quiet at the campfire, but it's restful now. He'll see the not-so-secret looks to Rohan, asking if something's wrong. And he'll feel Rohan's even-less-subtle, relentlessly confident answer:

No.

Because Angus is fine.

Going back to the changelings after their stupid game of fetch has a different sense of frustration now. It's more like annoyance at having to have walked so far and jump through their hoops, all to predictably lose for their enjoyment.

Angus knows what he's heading into. He's known from the start that it was all a silly waste of time meant to 'shock' them with that reveal. But whatever help they were after was locked behind this stupid charade, so he was sucking it up and playing his part, hating that he had to play pretend.

But he didn't hate himself for going back.

It suddenly felt like running into his old pickpocket friends. They were fun, sure, and familiar, but the kind he'd moved on from by now. Outgrown.

So he still wanted to get this over with.

Improvements were improvements though, and Deirdre's complaints from behind him as he lead others through winding the passages - which still felt so burned into his very being, not even needing memory to navigate - was something he appreciated. He wasn't looking forward to this. They were going to be mean. They always were. That's what made them, them. He used to join in, too.

And of course the conversation went exactly as he thought it would.

... Right up to the split second before he handed the McGuffin over.

That deep, long-forgotten, nearly buried fairy blood suddenly hummed in his veins with glee.

It was the same hum as the other changelings were making: anticipation and delight over what was supposed to happen. And he stopped, because he knew exactly what to do.

"Ivar," he said, abruptly handing the McGuffin over. "You're polite. You should give the speech."

Ivar, obviously, wasn't expecting there to be a speech, but trusted Angus to know his own people. And Angus knew Ivar.

He knew all of them.

With how long Ivar took to get through a formality, Angus had plenty of time to feel both of his families in one place. And he could feel Rohan staring, proud of Angus but a little smug about being right. That was perfect too, though. Smug was icing on the cake for this.

Ivar gave his speech. Lovely. And he bowed. Lovelier. And the prince gave the McGuffin to whoever seemed to be in charge for the hour.

That kid, in the same fluid motion it used to pick the McGuffin up, fuckin' threw that shit at a wall and made it shatter into forty pieces.

Then they all cheered.

Angus had to admit the look of horror on the others' faces - even wiping that smug part off of Rohan's - was phenomenal. He couldn't outright laugh (technically this was a joke on him too, since he'd had to get the McGuffin), but he earned getting to smile wide enough for the family resemblance to come shining through. Hundreds of tiny, shark-sharp chattering teeth were flashing through this cave - and so were Angus' 💖

"You said we needed that," he hears Deirdre shrieking in outrage over the sound. "We came to you for help-"

It's a special, extra thrill for Angus - and Angus only - to watch the princess get to work. The fear she put in the changelings? Equally as phenomenal. And in the horrified silence at the end of her outraged tirade, and at their shocked, shark-toothed mouths hanging open and beady eyes going wide, Angus felt it sink in.

And he howled in laughter.

Which was great, 'cause even though the changelings didn't seem to get the joke (too sophisticated for them, he supposed), knowing there was a joke at all - because Angus would know; he was one of them - broke the tension again. The fairies finished up their prank, handed them the real help, and Angus waved goodbye before leading the others outside. Deirdre didn't need his help this time, since she practically seethed her own way out through the rock. That was fine, 'cause the changelings didn't even notice he'd said goodbye. They were already back to scratching and biting and laughing.

Hilarious. All of them. And fun.

"I can't believe you used to be one of those," Deirdre spits when they're back in the open air.

"He's still one of them," Ivar says, defending Angus' honour.

"Well..." Angus thinks about that. "I am and I'm not." That used to be his home, after all. He used to be just like they were. The difference was simple but undeniable. So he shrugs. "I grew up."

Cue Deirdre ranting about how she wished they would all grow up. Those mini-monsters wasted days of their royal lives just to smash that trinket right when they had it? It was disrespectful - did they even know who she was?

They did. That's why it was funny.

Rohan's been at his side. Not asking, but close enough that he might as well have asked.

Is Angus all right?

Angus doesn't the answer the not-question.

He only suggests, "Back home, then?"

Rohan understands.

It figures. Who'd know Angus better than his best friend?

(it takes less than an hour for angus to whine about how far everything always is)

[verdigrissoup]

007 Fest Scavenger Hunt #12: Here's a little known thing about Bond: he loves writing reviews (on Goodreads, on Amazon products, restaurants, etc). Write his most scathing review of the worst book/product he's ever had the misfortune to lay his eyes on. This can be a real book/product/service, or completely made up.

If you haven't yet enjoyed what real life events this fake review is based on, let me point you to the reviews of the Haribo gummy bears-turned-laxatives on Amazon. It's a delight.

[oldschoolhip-hop]

B R O K E N HEART FEST (February 12th, 2022)

B R O K E N HEART FEST (February 12th, 2022)

Cloud Kill presents a B R O K E N HEART FEST, a perfect event for all my emo rap/pop lovers wanting to get the rage out. The event will take place on February 12th from 7-11 PM in Pomona, CA; you’ll have the homie Goner, Slay LoverBoy & SpaceMan Zack will main event it while you’ll have Yung Tree, Andy Christ, Lil Used & much more. Prices are $15 for the presale, $20 if you a lazy bum. If you…

[parf-fan]

As soon as the Faire thinks to make teapots as well as mugs, it’s all over for this hoe.

[carry-the-sky]

MAN the Hellcheer brain rot is so real - I've watched every season of Stranger Things with mild to moderate interest and then, boom, the queen bee cheerleader has about 4 minutes of screen time with the local super senior drug dealer and suddenly I'm up at 1 AM, looking through page 12 of the relationship tag on AO3. Anyway, I loved your fic, I can't wait to read whatever else you write for this ship!

anon, are you in my brain?? literally had zero (0) expectations for this season, thought i'd just watch it and then move on with my life like a normal human being, but uhhh yeah, i live here now. i really have to attribute most of that to grace and her portrayal of chrissy. like, i was a goner after that first scene in the bathroom. i honestly can't think of another character i've fallen in love with so quickly gahhhhhh HER POWER.

and that is so kind of you, i'm so happy you enjoyed the fic!! i am determined to post at least one more one-shot before i go back to work in two weeks (wah), and then i'm also planning on participating in hellcheer fest in october!

[hotdamnhunnam]

Can I pretty request these 🥵😈👻 for king Arthur??

Thank you!!!

Thanks for your request for my Emoji Fic Fest! 💗

..................................................

Haunted Hoes

Pairing: King Arthur x F!Reader Warnings: smut, swearing, sex in a spooky cave Word Count: ~1.2k Emoji Prompt: 🥵😈👻 (key words are in bold)

“But it’s haunted, Your Majesty…”

Yes, exactly. It’s a cavern of terror and tragedy. Shockwaves of panic throughout all the cities in this vicinity have been buzzing madly. The king pays no mind to the fears of the cowards who stand behind him—doesn’t need them to fucking remind him. He’s heard all the word on the street and the fact that the knights by his side are such pansies is truly a travesty.

“And it is our task to hunt down the creatures who dwell in this cave and to save the kingdom. Is that not why we’ve come?”

His companions just stand there struck dumb.

This infamous cave on the outskirts of Camelot hosts a whole bevy of siren-like ghosts who have made it their business to tempt and to terrorize men of low honor. Any scoundrel who’s ever set foot in this part of the forest is surely a goner. Or so goes the rumor. Arthur takes it all in good humor.

Whereas most caves are cold and dank that’s not the case, in this place—the air hangs hot and heavy with all the intoxicating allure of a forbidden embrace. The king’s men look on as he forges straight into the sinister space.

“Th–the mage is expected to join and is just running late,” one of them apprehensively states. “Your Highness would do well to wait…”

You’re the mage and are busy attending to matters of grave danger elsewhere. As you are a woman it’s natural to think that the king should feel safer if he had you there—your sorcerous skills are beyond compare, and in this cave those of the fairer sex have no need to be scared. Be that as it may with or without you, Art will see this through. And if he’s putting himself at risk he frankly doesn’t care.

***************

When you finally arrive at the site, you see all the knights standing outside. Clearly Arthur had ventured where none of the others would dare. His unwavering courage is one of the thousands of reasons why you fucking love him and roll your eyes at all these sorry excuses of men as you enter the ghosts’ shadowed lair.

You move fearlessly through the dark cave, hoping that you won’t find your king in a position from which he will need to be saved. Though you know that he’s battled all manner of monsters and demons and come out alive, you do worry that someday he’ll take on a threat that he cannot survive. Get himself slain by virtue of being so stupidly beautifully brave.

But that’s not what has happened today. When at last you find him in the deep of the cavern your worries at once fade away.

Art is flat on his back on a big slab of stone—and he isn’t alone—three are three ghosts beside him, and he and his hosts are all casually dancing and laughing as if this is a goddamn party and they intended to invite him. You’re not sure what’s going on but you can’t fault them if they’d rather fuck him than fight him.

You hope he won’t actually let them—you know that he won’t. For His Majesty’s scepter is your sacred treasure that nobody else gets to haunt.

***************

He greets you with a big boyish grin as you walk up to where he’s gyrating his hips all spread out on his back. Swiftly hops to his feet as you eye the three ghosts to make sure they don’t mean to attack.

“There you are! Knew you couldn’t be far.” He wraps one of his arms around you and beams bright as a star. “The knights didn’t think I could survive this without you. But see it turns out that these three lovely ladies are friends I hold dear, so there’s nothing to fear. I’ve told them all about you.”

Just what Arthur means isn’t clear. He explains the whole truth, standing here, as he makes friendly introductions between you and the ghosts. They’re the spirits of women he knew in his youth. From his time in the brothel in which he was raised by a whole host of prostitutes, women who’d given him shelter and food—and of course most importantly motherly love as they cherished him close.

Some time recently these three had died of disease and had no clue that Arthur had taken the throne since they had seen him last. Marveled at how he’d grown in the time that had passed. Celebrated with a festive dance. With Arthur as a righteous respectable king, they trusted Camelot would be ruled in good hands—that he’d punish the wicked for all their wrongdoing—and so they promised that henceforth they would no longer terrorize men in these lands.

Thus the problem is solved. Arthur has singlehandedly guaranteed peace for his kingdom without even getting his powerful mage-whore involved.

He does call you his mage-whore at times just for fun; it’s a playful term that only captures a fraction of how he loves you more than anything under the sun. Someday he means to make you his queen. You’ve just urged him to wait till a bit later on in his reign so that he can be fully established before his unorthodox choice of bride causes a whole fucking scene.

Once the two of you have thanked the ghosts, for all being such gracious hosts, Arthur asks them for permission, to fuck you somewhere in this cave as a celebration of successful completion of this little mission.

They grant it gladly, as this cave is a big place with plenty of room for the two of you to find the perfect position to ravage each other madly. Art would rather not wait till you’ve made it back home to the castle to fuck because he wants it now and badly.

“You’ve done quite a fine job of protecting the kingdom Your Majesty,” you tell him proudly. “Seems you can fare just fine without me…”

“Don’t be daft,” he replies with a low husky laugh, hoarse and hot, shoving you up against the rough rock at your back once you’ve reached a spot where the ghosts are out of earshot. Far enough that they won’t have to hear the fierce sex you’re about to have. Then in just a few seconds he’s undone the leather at his crotch and pulled out his thick royal shaft. “I’m nothing without your epic love and this magical cunt. It’s everything I want. Want to hear your moans echoing all through this cave as I fuck you in half.”

Oh, it’s not as if he has to ask. Arthur may have entered this dark haunted lair of the prostitute ghosts, with the goal of completing one task… but he won’t leave until he’s completed a mission that pleases him more—the one thing that pleases him most: making sweet savage love in this cave to his little mage-whore.

..................................................

Emoji Fic Masterlist

Emoji Fic Tag List – below; if you’d like to be added or removed, just let me know!

@happyhunnams @band--psycho @est11 @edonaspanca @starbooty @innerpaperexpertcloud @i-love-scott-mccall @six-camelot @alexa-rae-dreamz @coffeebooksandfandom @thesuicidalflower @flaireandsynch @helloheyhihowdyheya @gemini0410 @waywardodysseys @zozebo @bettergetusetoit @emilykjh @little-diable @rocketqueen @mrspeacem1nusone @miss-smutty @rayslittlekitten @abby-splace @chubbychubbs28 @miraclesoflove @tegggeeee @hunnambabe @missusnora @kesskirata @vixenrebellion @thexhostess @pomegranatearildreams @kandii395 @severewobblerlightdragon @itspdameronthings @niki-xie @cind-in-real-life @saweetspoiled @poge-life @few-proud-emotonal @samanthaisnthome @melodranas @soaharleys @charlie-hunnams-old-lady @simpmasterjr @nataliewalker93 @lovebarefootblonde @marvelousmermaid @tsukuyomi011 @sciapod @midnight-dreams-23

[paint-music-with-me]

This movie hasn't even come out yet but I am thriving in the chaotic potential it has as a Steddie AU.

It's called Ticket to Paradise and its premise is: divorced couple go to their only child's wedding and try to sabotage it due to their own insecurities about why they got married to begin with.

Listen I know it sounds weird but idk I love it? It's very exes to lovers trope and I love the trailer!

Now hear me out:

It's years down the line, I wanna say, maybe Dustin is in his early 20s right? He decides to marry Suzie for sake of plot.

He moved out of Hawkins for college, while Steve is stuck where he is. So that distance is felt and it makes Steve feel like shit though he tries to push it aside.

Meanwhile Dustin made a new friend called Eddie in college. Obvi, D&D club. Ofc Dustin gushes about Eddie to Steve and Steve obvi gets a bit jealous.

So lo and behold, Dustin sends a wedding invitation to Steve, out to Hawaii or some tropical paradise, ok? And ofc Dustin names Steve as his best man yay! And he's also sharing that title with Eddie so there's that. (Steve tries not to dwell on that a bit)

When Steve arrives, he gets all ready to meet this Amazing Eddie Munson that he's heard so much about. And when he actually meets him?

Boom! He was a goner! Absolute love at first sight....though he won't ever admit it because oh wow, Eddie is a bit of a firecracker.

He won't lie, Steve does feel a bit out of place. Dustin has these new friends and he can still get in groove with everyone from Hawkins. Steve feels like it's already an honor to be named Best Man, he didn't need to be vying for Dustin's attention. He can't help but fade in the background until

Eddie just won't let Steve be alone. They get into all kinds of messes around the island! One time when Steve wanted to swim in a secret pool he found in the tropics out of the resort, obvi Eddie followed - it was full of leeches. Another time they were supposed to do a scavenger hunt - they got lost. When they had to do a performance for the bride and groom, they accidentally threw a shoe at the DJ and knocked them out (they didn't perfect their choreography).

Bottom line is that this wedding was the most fun that Steve had in a long time. All the feelings of inadequacy and loneliness faded when he was with Eddie.

Maybe - just maybe - coming to Dustin's wedding alone wasn't going to be the downer fest he thought it would be.

[slovenlyrecordings]

the FIFTH of JULY Online Fest!

Goner & Slovenly team up again for a worldwide rock'n'roll party, with hosts King Khan, Sean Spits and more! Bands will be announced soon! Stay tuned. 4PM CST - July 5, 2020 📺 sloven.ly/ytlive

Another Goner TV Production - on Slovenly Live