#goldryn
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Queen Aelin Ashryver Whitethorn Galathynius
Throne Of Glass - Artist: luaartiste
#luaartiste#kingdom of ash#aelin ashryver galathynius#goldryn#fire breathing bitch queen#aelin fireheart#aelin of the wildfire#queen aelin#queen of terrasen#faerie queen of the west#throne of glass#tog#sarah j maas#sjm fanart#tog art#tog fanart#crown of midnight#heir of fire#queen of shadows#empire of storms#rowaelin#book art#bookish art#fantasy art#character art
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Fenrys whispered, "Holy gods."
Not at the bridge that snapped down, soldiers teeming in the dark depths inside. But at who emerged from the keep archway behind them. What emerged. Rowan didn't know where to look. At the soldiers pouring out of the siege tower, leaping onto the battlements, or at Aelin.
At the Queen of Terrasen.
She'd found armor below the keep. Beautiful, pale gold armor that gleamed like a summer dawn. Holding back her braided hair, a diadem lay flush against her head. Not a diadem, but a piece of armor. Part of some ancient set for a lady long since buried. A crown for war, a crown to wear into battle. A crown to lead armies.
There was no fear on her face, no doubt, as Aelin hefted her shield, flipping Goldryn in her hand once before the first of Morath's soldiers was upon her. Rowan launched into movement, his blades finding their marks, but still he watched her.
Aelin slammed her shield against an oncoming warrior, Goldryn slicing through another before she plunged the blade into the soldier she'd deflected. She did it again, and again.
All while heading toward that siege tower. Unhindered. Unleashed.
A call went down the line. The queen has come.
She planted her line before the gaping maw of that siege tower, right in the path of those teeming hordes. Every moment of the training she'd done on the ship here, on the road, every new blister and callusâall to rebuild herself for this.
The queen has come.
Goldryn unfaltering, her shield an extension of her arm, Aelin glowed like the sun that now broke over the khagan's army as she engaged each soldier that hurtled her way. Five, tenâshe moved and moved and moved, ducking and swiping, shoving and flipping, black blood spraying, her face the portrait of grim, unbreaking will.
"The queen!" the men shouted. "To the queen!"
And as Rowan fought his way closer, as that cry went down the battlements and Anielle men ran to aid her, he realized that Aelin did not need an ounce of flame to inspire men to follow. That she had been waiting, yanking at the bit, to show them what she, without magic, without any godly power, might do. He'd never seen such a glorious sight. In every land, every battle, he had never seen anything as glorious as Aelin before the throat of the siege tower, holding the line. Dawn breaking around them, Rowan loosed a battle cry and tore into Morath.
#the full circle from QoS Rowan didnât know where to look but totally different vibes lol#a battle cry you say? isnât that how her rumor starts with him then pecking out eyes in a few chapters or something? lol#the QUEEN of Terrasen#all hail Rowanâs wife (lord knows he isđ)#symbols count⌠they give Hope⌠Hope matters⌠âpeople need hope in times like these#the Queen has come#the cadre circle by her side#as Rowan fought his way closer to her#she didnât need magic#and sheâs saving it#sheâs always got a plan#honestly Iâm scared if she doesnât have a backup secret plan#a crown for war#Goldryn#Aelin Ashryver Galathynius#Rowan Whitethorn#Rowaelin#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Chapter 57#kingdom of ash quotes#There was no fear on her face no doubt â SHE WAS NOT AFRAID#Rowan launched into movement his blades finding their marks but still he watched her.#In every land every battle he had never seen anything as glorious as Aelin#Aelin did not need an ounce of flame to inspire men to follow#TO THE QUEEN#follow#and they did#unbreaking will#all to rebuild herself FOR THIS
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Also did rowan know goldryn was in that cave??? Cause he was looking at all the weapons and specifically picked it up and gave it to aelin and thats now the sword she uses for the rest of the series
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Literally just read Chapter 54 of EoS and this is a great summaryđ
Aelin:Â Weâre going to defeat you with the power of friendship.Â
Manon:Â Weâre not friends.Â
Aelin, grabbing Goldryn:Â Weâre going to defeat you with the power of incredible violence.
#I love them#Aelin Galathynius#Manon Blackbeak#Aelin and Manon#Manon and Aelin#incorrect quotes that are absolute perfection#conversations Manon and Aelin absolutely had in EoS#Goldryn#Windcleaver#incorrect TOG quotes#TOG incorrect quotes#TOG humor#their friendship is legit one of my favs esp. in contrast to their boyfriends who have THE bromance of this book#meanwhile Manon and Aelin could very well kill eachother or for eachother or with eachother at any given time and they are glorious chaos#reblog#thread
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Maeve extended a hand before her, darkness swirling in her cupped palm. "There are no gods left to watch, I'm afraid. And there are no gods left to help you now, Aelin Galathynius."
Aelin smiled, and Goldryn burned brighter. "I am a god."
She unleashed herself upon them.
~Kingdom of Ash (Throne of Glass book 7 by Sarah J. Maas)
I was quaking at this legendary scene, I can't not draw it hfjejcjsjjds
Anyway this piece turned out so high contrast it's delicious, really loving the unexpected manga vibes it gives me
#aelin my queen aaaa#i hit peak fangirling#aelin galathynius#aelin ashryver galathynius#throne of glass#throne of glass fanart#fanart#tog fanart#ink art#ink illustration#illustration#inktober#sarah j maas#goldryn sword#sword#artists on tumblr#artblr
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Iâve got Tattoo Imposter Syndrome đ I feel like itâs too pretty to be on me forever- and yet it is
#personal#it me#jaces life#jace gets tattoos#its Goldryn from TOG#throne of glass#heir of fire#aelin ashryver galathynius
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Help Me, Help You - Part One
Fenrys x F!Reader
Summary- In his search for the missing member of the cadre, Fenrys stumbles upon Vaughanâs little sister, who is also searching for her brother. They strike a deal, and set of to find the slippery male.
Warnings- tiny bit of angst if you squint
Based on this ask
Series Masterlist
Part One
There was a cat following him.
It had been for several days now, ever since heâd shown up in the small village just north of Verese. He wouldnât have paid the creature any mind if it hadnât been for the keen eyes that tracked his every step to the small inn that first night. And again, when it showed up that morning as soon as Fenrys stepped into the village market.
Fenrys had been searching for Vaughan for months now, since the end of the war, since heâd driven Goldryn into Maeveâs black heart and watched as Aelin burned her to ash, since her death hadnât fixed any of the broken pieces of him.
Heâd set off soon after that, to look for the final member of the cadre, to offer him a place in Terrasen, to distract his mind from the memories.
In the time Fenrys had searched, heâd only been able to find small signs that the male even existed. Picking rumors from towns and villages, but Vaughan was smart, he didnât leave a trail if he could get away with it.
Sometimes Fenrys would follow a lead only to hit a dead end, turning back to find that the male had went the complete opposite direction.
Heâd heard rumors of a to large osprey flying north from Wendlynâs capital. So heâd followed them to this tiny little spec of a village. Full of humans who were to hesitant or downright to terrified to speak to him, even when Fenrys flashed his charming smile.
Though he understood that the effect was diminished by the scars that now adorned one side of his face. His eye just barely spared from the damage.
Heâd refused to heal the wounds, had refused to tell anyone why heâd let them scar, only telling Aelin once that he wanted to remember. She hadnât pried, he almost wished she had.
The only thing that didnât seem to mind the scars in this village was the damned cat. It simply watched him as he struck out with every single vendor in the market, those keen eyes examining him from head to toe. Day after day, it watched.
Now, Fenrys openly glares back at the creature, larger than a usual house cat, more like one of the forest cats that hunted in Oakwald, the dark grey and white fur perfect for blending into the shadows, striking at prey fast and disappearing even quicker.
The cat simply stares back, its head tilting in that predatory way, like he was nothing more than a mouse it had marked for dinner.
âI donât suppose youâve seen the bastard Iâm looking for?â
The poor woman at the spice stand beside Fenrys balks at him, eyes wide and scared as he talked to the cat. Gods, he was talking to a damned cat. He was surely going crazy, maybe he should give up on this useless search and go back to Terrasen.
Fenrys smiles at the woman, his mask of cool charm in place, âSorry, you wouldnât happen to have seen a large bird flying through here have you?â
Thatâs all that charm was nowadays, a mask. It felt like a preformance, and Fenrys was the poor fool forced to act.
He could scent her fear but the woman opened her mouth, voice pitched, âI have actually.â
The cat seemed to perk from its spot on the window seat across from them.
Fenrys raised a brow at the creature, turning back to the woman, âDid you see where he was headed?â
âHe was flying north,â the woman swallows nervously, âI thought it odd considering winter is already setting in up near the port. It didnât stick around long.â
The first real clue heâd gotten in the week heâd been there, and it would seem the male was well on his way. Hopefully he wasnât already on a damned boat back across the ocean.
âThank you.â Fenrys pulls a few gold pieces from his pocket, watching the womanâs eyes go wide as he sets them on the counter between them.
He turns, finding that cat still watching him, almost expectantly, âAre you coming?â
Unsurprisingly, the cat follows him as he walks back to the run down inn, keeping a healthy distance between them.
He left it on the street in front of the inn, climbing the rickety steps that groaned beneath his weight. The tiny room feels claustrophobic, the bed barely big enough to hold him, the only light is the sun through a single window and a candle heâd scavenged from the bar room on the first floor.
Fenrys didnât have much to pack, just a few clothes and his weapons. He didnât even bother to close the door behind him, heâd be out in less than a minute.
âAre you leaving?â
He whirled towards the voice, dagger poised to strike. Fenrys found a beautiful female, familiar keen eyes watching him with curiosity, like she had for the past week. The damned cat, he was almost annoyed with himself for not realizing she was fae.
âTired of watching from a far?â Fenrys asks, giving the female a lazy smirk.
He keeps that dagger level with her throat, laying the charm on thick to hide the way his heart had leapt in his chest. Not many could sneak up on him, he never let his guard down, especially now.
Her eyes still have a feline look to them, a shine in the light that left Fenrys feeling uneasy.
She steps further into the room, like she didnât care about that blade aimed for her throat, âAre you going to find him?â
âFind who?â
That glare is near lethal and Fenrys feels his invisible hackles raise, ready to fight.
âDonât play dumb with me, pup.â
âSo you know who I am,â he states, a scarred brow raised, âHow do you know who Iâm looking for?â
âBecause Iâve been looking for him too,â she says, arms crossing over her chest. âNow that your bitch of a Queen is dead, heâs finally free to come home.â
Even after her death, very few fae, especially this close to Doranelle, were brave enough to speak against Maeve. Even the ones whoâd fought with them against her and Erawanâs forces, she was like a ghost, still haunting them all.
âI hate to break it to you, sweetheart, but heâs been a free male for months now. I doubt your dear Vaughan is coming home to you.â Fenrys canât help the smirk that came to his lips as he looks her up and down, âWhich is a mistake on his part.â
The look of disgust on her face is near comical, âIâm not some desperate old flame.â
He raises a brow, âSorry to assume. If not a vengeful past lover, then who are you?â
âHis sister,â she snarls.
Fenrys felt like the carpet was pulled out from beneath his feet. The shock is enough to have him lowering his dagger.
âHe has a sister?â
He didnât see much resemblance, Vaughan was an imposing male, tall, nearly as tall as Lorcan with dark hair and eyes, and he was quiet, rarely speaking more than he had to, never joining in on celebrations or nights spent at pubs.
Now that Fenrys thought about it, he didnât know all that much about the male, beside his time in Maeveâs cadre. An excellent warrior, theyâd fought side by side many times, had fought for Mistward. Heâd been blood sworn to the valg queen long before Connall and Fenrys had taken their oaths. Other than that, Vaughan was a mystery.
âIâm not surprised my brother never told you of me.â The female perches on the edge of the small wooden desk by the door, âVaughan is an over protective bastard when he cares enough to show his face.â
Thereâs an edge to her voice, she was very angry at her brother, and he could understand why. The elusive male could have gone home at any time, yet he was still traveling the world.
Heâd traced him through Erilea, and all the way across the ocean back to Wendlyn, yet not Doranelle. Heâd kept his distance from the fae cities, like he was hiding from something, maybe someone.
Fenrys examines the female, just as she examines the tiny room around them, her eyes flitting over his weapons with little interest. She holds herself with feline grace, like her other form lingered in this one. No wonder she was able to sneak up on him without a sound.
âWhatâs your name?â Fenrys asks.
Sheâs clad in form fitting leathers, similar to the suit Aelin had worn in her time as an assassin. Fenrys, a full blooded fae male, noted that she was absolutely gorgeous, the type of female that would have males and females alike crawling for her.
Maybe in another life, before the events in the past year, Fenrys would have crawled for her too.
âY/n,â she says simply, turning that gaze back on him, âAnd I already know who you are.â
âI hope your brother only told you the good stories,â he grins.
She gives him an unimpressed look, âHe told me enough.â
Given his own reputation, Fenrys wasnât really surprised by the lack luster response. He wasnât the type many would want their sisters around.
âOuch.â Fenrys raises a hand to his heart, pouting, âThat bad-â
âIâm not here for small talk,â she interrupts, pushing off that desk, âYouâve been asking around for my brother for months now, why?â
The room was truly to small, the few steps she takes places her directly in front of him. Sheâs either really brave, or incredibly stupid to put herself in easy striking distance.
âStraight to the point,â Fenrys nods, âI like that, itâs quite refreshing.â
Her glare could set him ablaze, âDo you know where heâs going? Why he hasnât come home?â
âYouâve been following me around,â he shrugs, âIâm sure you know as much as I do at this point. Which is a whole lot of nothing.â
âWhy are you looking for him?â She asks again, âFrom what I hear youâre serving a new queen, is Aelin Galathynius so desperate to fill her court with Maeveâs old one?â
Fenrys canât stop the flare of anger. The condescending tone, the obvious distaste of his queen, his friend.
âShe wishes to offer him the same courtesy she offered me and mine,â he snarls, closing that small gap between them.
Fenrys wasnât as tall and foreboding as Lorcan or even Rowan, but he wasnât small by any means. Y/n had to crane her neck back to keep her glare locked on his own. She somehow makes it seem like sheâs looking down her nose at him.
âAnd whatâs that?â She asks, rolling her eyes at him, âA blood oath or death?â
âA better world,â Fenrys snaps, âItâs his choice if he wants to join her court, thereâs no consequence if he doesnât, simply an offer.â
She hums, âIsnât that amicable.â
Fenrys took a deep breath through his nose, forcing himself to calm down, âWas there something you wanted, kitty cat? Or are you just here for the view?â
The nickname has its desired effect, she bristles, and Fenrys mockingly smirks at her. That seems to get under her skin even more.
âI have a proposition,â she grounds out, âI think we can help each other.â
âOh?â Fenrys lets his smirk turn into a lazy grin, that mask of male arrogance, âHow so?â
âMy brother isnât an idiot,â she hisses, taking a large step away from him, a look of pure disgust on her face, âHeâs no doubt heard of you asking around for him, just like I did. Youâll never catch up to him.â
Fenrys keeps his distance, âOh really? And you think you can? If you could, you wouldnât be here asking me for help.â
He turns back to his bag, throwing the last few shirts into it before slinging the leather pack over his shoulder. She stands directly in the doorway, blocking his only exit out of the room.
âNow if youâll excuse me.â He nods to the open hall behind her, âI should-â
âHeâs leaving for the southern continent,â Y/n interrupts, âTheir was a naval ship sent by King Glaston himself, a gift for the Khagan, it left a few days ago, and Iâm willing to bet my brother is stowed away on it.â
Thatâs exactly what Fenrys had been nervous of. And of course he was going to the southern continent, the massive expanse of land where the male could quite literally go anywhere.
Fenrys raises a brow at her, âIf you know where heâs going, why ask for my help at all?â
Her eyes shift, just barely, and itâs enough to tell Fenrys that sheâs nervous.
âYou know my brother,â she says, âYou were his friend-â
âIn the loosest sense of the word,â Fenrys cuts in.
He raises his hands in mock surrender when she glares at his interruption. After a moment, the scathing heat leaves her eyes and she sighs.
âI havenât seen my brother in nearly two decades, the last time we saw each other.â She stops, frowning down at the ground, âYou arenât the only one heâs trying to shake off his tail.â
Sibling fights, Fenrys feels his heart squeeze painfully in his chest, he knew those all to well.
Onyx eyes, blankly staring at him, the life bleeding out of them onto the floor.
âWe have a common goal.â Her voice brings him back to the present, âIf we work together, we may be able to find him, and we both get what we want.â
Y/n sticks her hand out between them. Fenrys sees the smallest waver in her, the shaking she tries to hide. Behind the glares and grace, was simply a girl, desperate to find her brother, to make amends.
And maybe it was that, the fact that Fenrys would never have that chance, that made him take her hand in his.
âHelp me, Help you.â Fenrys shakes her hand once, noting how incredibly soft her palms are compared to his calloused one, âYouâve got a deal.â
And when she smiles, Fenrys find it in him to smile back.
âSo when do we leave?â Y/n asks.
Fenrys gestures towards the hall behind her, âRight now, kitten.â
âDonât call me that,â she hisses.
And Fenrys laughs, and for the first time in many many months, it feels almost genuine.
#throne of glass#throne of glass x reader#tog#tog x reader#fenrys moonbeam#fenrys x reader#throne of glass fenrys#fenrys tog
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âThere are no gods left to watch, Iâm afraid. And there are no gods left to help you now, Aelin Galathynius. Aelin smiled, and Goldryn burned brighter. I am a god.â
Sarah J. Maas, Kingdom of Ash (Throne of Glass, #7)
#booklovers#bookworm#books#biblophile#bookish#booklr#book review#book community#bookquotes#smut books#kingdom of ash#aelin galathynius#rowan whitethorn#manon blackbeak#dorian havilliard#book quotations#book lovers#book life#book quotes#book photography#book photo challenge
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a/n: Bonus points if you can point out where one of my (many) mental breakdowns occurs. Sheâs a bit of a disaster. I literally donât know where this came fromâŚ
Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas @aelinschild! Written as part of the @rowaelinscourt secret santa exchange. Thanks for putting up with me and my myriad of asks. Itâs been wonderful to get to know you these last few weeks! <3<3<3<3
Find the companion Elorcan piece here! Set just a few months before the main events of this story.
AO3 Link here
Warnings: nothing major, non-explicit/passing mentions of trauma/abuse, very brief mention of drugs ~25k words
.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.
Until the Dust Settles
A golden sun set behind the Oakwald Mountains, casting long shadows across the long stretch of land that made up Whitethorn Ranch. The acres were a makeup of subtle rills and hills where horses could run for ages and the flatter earth where a decent sized garden yielded a fair amount for the farmers market in the spring and summer.Â
The land had been in Rowan Whitethornâs family for over one hundred yearsâit was the only home heâd ever known. Heâd grown up racing horses through the vast fields or spending winter chasing down animals that had gotten loose in a storm. He would admit that sometimes it was a hard life to liveâthe constant work, the fear for the animalâs safety. But it certainly had its benefits.
The spring and summer that actually made the land worth having. Not only because there in the farther outreaches of the countryside, things seemed untouched by societyâwhich really was the only thing worth mentioning. But it also allowed for the most tourism and when most people came to visit that ranch.
For nearly twenty years now, Whitethorn Ranch was mostly known for its outreach program for troubled teens.  When kids needed time away from home where it was for depression, anxiety, trauma, misbehaviorâthey came to the ranch. Â
It had started ages ago when Rowanâs great-grandfather came to own the land and took on the runaways who were escaping bad situations. His great-grandparents accepted anyone who came by the ranch as their own and the attitude extended through the generations. By the time Rowanâs father gained the land, things had turned to be more professional. Â
The ranch used a mix of therapy modems and simple outreach to help those who needed it. They offered day visits for schools, riding lessons, even month-long visits and stays for extreme cases. It was careful water to tread sometimes. Recently, Rowan had been more conscious about making sure the kids who came felt safe and wanted. He never accepted anyone who was forced to come, unless he could talk to the kid first. Even then, he knew that help only helped when someone actually wanted it.
But now as Rowan stared over the golden horizon, he wondered how anyone could turn a sight like this down.
He tightened Goldrynâs reins and clicked his tongue, directing the horse back to the stables. It had been a long day of checkouts and clean up. This late in the fall, most people only came by for tours or field trips. Business wouldnât pick back up until May at least.
For now, the ranch would rely on its usual borders. There were a few families that owned horses but didnât have the land to keep them, so Rowan rented out stalls and charged for care. It kept him busy enough in the slower months. Him and Lorcan, his best friend from college, made things work though. It had taken a great deal of convincing to get Lorcan to come out here, but the grumpy bastard enjoyed being outside and this job presented plenty of opportunity.
It certainly helped that Lorcan had recently started dating Elide Lochan, who was a staple to the small town. And Rowan had to admitâthey were good together.
As he rode down a worn path along the paddock fence, Rowan could see a shape waiting for him in the distance. He grimaced. There was only one person that would be so intent on talking to him.
He slowed Goldryn to a trot, knowing he couldnât avoid the inevitable.
Leaning against a fence post with her arms crossed and golden blonde hair hanging in loose curls was Aelin Galathynius. Brilliant, beautiful, and a pain in his ass. She had come to the ranch almost six months ago after graduating from a top university specializing in trauma. She was exactly what he needed for what he was trying to accomplish here and exactly the right person to drive him insane.
Rowan pulled Goldryn to a stop at the fence gate and stared down at Aelin. Her cold blue eyes stared right back up. Sheâd long since traded her fancy clothes and high heels out for jeans and t-shirts. She even wore a baseball cap on occasion. And yet the change of close did nothing to diminish her looks.
âI need to talk to you,â she said. She didnât flinch when Goldryn stamped her feet with a loud snort. Another thing Aelin had improved upon, not being jumpy around the animals. Though, she did eye the mare with a bit of distrust.
âItâs outside of my office hours,â he replied. âTry again tomorrow.â
Aelin scowled at him. It was the same excuse she used on him when he needed to talk to her, he didnât see why she should be so upset to have it thrown back in her face.
âThatâs what you said yesterday,â she said.
âI know what I said.â He adjusted his hold on the reins and shrugged. âItâs been a busy few days.â
He jumped off of Goldrynâs back, landing in the earth with a soft thump. He could just as easily have Aelin open the gate for him, but he was convinced she would have tried to scratch his eyes out if heâd asked. Keeping one hand in the reins, Rowan unlatched the gate and swung it open towards him. Goldryn snorted again, huffing as she backed up a few feet to make room. Â
Aelin too had taken a step back but she didnât go far. She was several inches shorter than he was, even in the boots she wore, but still taller than the average woman. She had a lean, athletic build Rowan had seen put to good use. When some of the kids got restless on their extended stays she would workout with them, go for runs, turn hay bales, the whole nine-yards. She wasnât weak by any means.
âWhat do you need, princess?â he asked as he led Goldryn through the gate, locking the paddock again behind him. He kept himself between Aelin and the horse, mostly because he knew she still wasnât comfortable around the larger animals and even he wasnât that cruel.
Still, Aelin almost stalked off right then. Rowan could see it in her eyes, the tilt of her chin. It wouldnât have surprised him if she had. Hell, heâd never met anyone as stubborn as Aelin Galathynius. Not even one of his horses had as much attitude.
But he knew she needed something and even though it killed her, she uncrossed her arms and kept pace with him as he set off toward the stables.
âDonât call me that,â Aelin said flatly. She flicked her hair over one shoulder as she kept her steps purposeful, even when she stepped in a small hole and nearly went careening forward.
Rowan tried to reach out and steady her as he kept Goldryn reined in, but Aelin waved him off. She straightened herself out and got on even footing before she continued to scowl at the ground. Sheâd always been like that tooârefusing help and insisting she could manage things on her own. She was damned near worse than Farasha.
âEasy,â he said. He was talking to the horse, who was yanking on the reins a bit too hard. Aelin of course would never miss an opportunity to glare at him.
It was a shame they hated each other; Rowan decided. Because try as he might, he couldnât ignore the fact that she was one of the most beautiful women heâd ever seen. Between her blue eyes, the golden waves of hair, the mischievous tilt of her lipsâheâd be a fool not to acknowledge it. But Aelin was also impossibly stubborn. She fought him on everything. She was opinionated. She was selfish. She wasâ
âI want you to open up another week for kids to come and stay over Christmas and New Years,â Aelin said. She adjusted the yellow and black flannel she wore, eyes straight forward.
She was going to drive him to an early grave.
It was Rowanâs turn to stumble as he spun to look at her. âYou what?â
Goldryn snorted, pulling on the reins again. Oh she was mad at him. They were a few minutes late to dinner now and she knew it. Damn horse.
âAn extra week for kids to come stay over the holidays,â Aelin repeated. She didnât flinch from the way he turned his own glare on her, only kept walking with that insufferable tilt to her chin.
âWhy?â he asked.
Christmasâany of the holidays this time of year reallyâalways made for a quieter time on the ranch. People were more content to stay at home and put off their problems a little longer. It wasnât until after that people realized how much they hated their circumstances. Even then, they didnât seek out his ranch for anything more than daily horse rides. Nothing to actually problem solve.
âItâs a hard time of year for kids,â Aelin said. Â
They reached the stables and she helped slide the great door open. Immediately, the heating system blasted them with a warm gush of air accompanied by the scent of hay, manure, and feed. It was a scent Rowan had grown used to and, strange as it was, he took comfort in.
Rowan handed Goldryn off to one of the stable hands who took the mare to her stall. Turning to Aelin, Rowan crossed his arms over his chest, taking her in. She had a fiery determination about her and he knew he wouldnât be able to brush her off easily.
âOpen up an extra week so these kids can have a safe place to come,â Aelin insisted. âThereâs a program with the cityââ
âPlease, Aelin, I know what that means,â he said, already walking away. She could trail him and make her case if it was so important. âI wonât actually get paid for the extra costs. The city pretends to take care of all the funding but doesnât actually give me what I need.â
âIâll take care of it all,â Aelin said, indeed following right after him as he moved to the feed barrels. She even managed to dodge the droppings from the lone pig that wandered the stables. âIâll keep up the communications with the program. I know the director, sheâs not a flake.â
Rowan had heard things like this before. Sellene had tried to get him to take state funding before too, all that resulted in was mounds of paperwork and audits.
He opened the feed barrels and started scooping portions into waiting buckets that would go to the various horse stalls. Aelin took one of the buckets as soon as it was filled, her manicured fingers wrapping around the handle. Â
âThe Cavarre Foundation wants to help kids,â Aelin continued. She grabbed another bucket. âTheyâve already got a list of kids they can send over.â
âThen they can wait til after the holidays,â Rowan said.
He hefted his own buckets and went to the first stall. A yearling named Quinn was already waiting for his feed. His owners were aiming for the colt to be a stallion and show for congress. Quinn had a bit too much attitude to take to that sort of training, heâd be better as a rodeo horse or in the fields, but Rowan wasnât being paid for that commentary.
âWatch it buddy,â Rowan warned the colt as he opened the stall and eased toward the trough in the corner. Quinn nickered and pranced a bit, but ultimately didnât give him any issues.
Aelin waited outside the stall, the tension in her body obvious. She should just go and catch up with him later. He would have suggested it too if she didnât immediately start talking again.
âWhat if their home lives arenât the best? These kids have been selected from a few of the foster homes in the area and recommended by psychiatrists that this would be a beneficial healing opportunity.â Aelin dodged around a worker moving hay, this time landing one foot in a pile of pig dung. She didnât flinch. âIsnât that what this ranch is about?â
No it wasnât.
Rowan opened the door of Hessinaâs stall. The mare was pregnant, due in late February, and had to be the sweetest horse he actually owned. Rowan offered her a nose rub that she eagerly accepted.
âAre you even listening to me?â Aelin asked as Rowan closed the stall again.
âHard not to when you wonât shut up,â he muttered. He couldnât tell if sheâd heard him or not--her scowl remained perfectly etched on her face and she betrayed nothing as she walked with him to the next two stalls.
It didnât take long to get most of the horses fed and ensure they had plenty of water. The night wasnât set to get too cold, so they wouldnât bring out the blankets. The heating system worked well enough to keep things warm but not freezing and these horses were all conditioned and bred for the chilly winter weather as it was.
By the time Rowan was ready to head back to the main house it had almost darkened completely outside. Another long day done only for it to continue tomorrow and the day after. Heâd only been officially running the ranch for five years and he was ready to be done with it.
After making sure everything was set for the night, and checking in with the shift leader, Rowan decided he could leave everything as it was. Lorcan would be in tomorrow to do a once over. As the lead stable manager, he oversaw the functioning of the workers and the horses. He even did a bit of training on the horses. Not that Lorcan would ever admit to doing so. Â
âYou still here?â Rowan said to Aelin as he headed back to the cold night. It was a twenty-minute walk, but the weather had been decent enough that he hadnât wanted to bother with his car.Â
âYou never gave me an answer,â she said.
They walked across the long drive that led straight to the main house. The road wasnât paved, only gravel packed dirt that wound itâs way around the property. When kids were staying in the cabins, Aelin had a room designated for her in the house, but she usually just went back into town where she rented an apartment. As far as he knew, she was still planning on leaving when they reached her car.
âI already told you no,â he said.
It wasnât an easy decision to make; opening the ranch up for a week. Especially over the holidays. He knew that Lorcan didnât care about this time of year and there were a few ranch hands that wouldnât mind the extra time to work. But if the city program never paid him, he could never pay for the extra work. And while he knew he could handle the work on his own if necessaryâŚwell, Rowan just didnât see the point of approving this.
âItâs a lot to take on without much warning,â he added, before Aelin could rise up in a defensive retort. âGive me a day, alright?â
They finally reached the main house with its large wrap-around porch, the whitewashed wood, and three-story windows. His cousin was probably inside already cooking up a meal that sheâd filmed for her Instagram page. It was the kind of house for a family, for someone with more to their name than Rowan did. Sometimes he really hated coming home.
Aelin car, a small two-door Audi, waited from where sheâd parked it that morning. Rowan would be very interested to know how she planned on getting around once the snow started.
âIâll take on any extra work you need,â she said, âcooking, cleaning, Iâll care for horsesââ
âYou hate the horses,â he said.
Her mouth twisted to the side. âIâll do what I need to do. Please, Rowan. I think this would be a really good opportunity.â
Rowan didnât know what surprised him more: the fact that she said please or used his first name. He made the mistake of meeting her gaze, the gold undertones of the blue bright in the porch lights. Shaking his head, Rowan muttered a curse.
âIâll let you know in the morning,â he told her.
Aelin nodded once. âThank-you.â
It was the most civil theyâd been to each other in a long time. Usually their exchanges ended in accusations, shouting, and name calling. Aelin too seemed caught off guard by it. She stepped back, digging for her keys in her pocket. She nodded again before returning to her car.
Rowan remained outside as she made a quick U-turn in the large gravel drive. She disappeared into the night quietly, the taillights soon lost as she curved down a bend in the road.
âDammit,â he muttered.
Rowan already knew the answer he would have to give Aelin. It was one heâd have to give his entire staff. And he knew no one was going to like it. Come new year he was going to sell the ranch to someone new. And just like that the legacy his family had left him would be gone.
âŚ
As she drove down the highway into town, Aelin found herself wringing the steering wheel of the car while imagining it was Rowan Whitethornâs neck. She knew, she knew, he was going to tell her no. He would text her first thing in the morning and tell her that her request would be denied. That the thing she actually cared about wouldnât see the light of day.
He was a bastard.
Sheâd known it from the first day sheâd met him so many months ago. Â
It was her first full day in Oakwald, having left everything behind in Terrasen, and she was ready to start anew. Sheâd expected things to be hard. But she hadnât expected Rowan Whitethorn to look at her with such contempt and tell her that she really had no business being there in the first place. As if he hadnât hired her just a week ago to fill a vacancy in his staff.
Not to mention the look heâd given her clothes, her car, everything about her was some big cosmic joke. Â
Aelin sighed and turned off the highway to the bar where her one real friend worked.
Her little Audi was out of place among the trucks and SUVs. She just needed to make it another two weeks without any bad weather and sheâd have access to her new car. Locking up, she hurried into the bar, already relishing the warmth awaiting.
In the span of one minute, the cold November air nearly sucked the life out of her. The bar was a welcome reprieve as it was always kept at a decent heat. Even with the scent of cigarette smoke lingering in the air, it had a comforting air about it.
Aelin went to the counter and slipped into a stool right next to Lorcan Salvaterre.
âSeriously?â he growled at her with a malicious side eye.
âIt's the best of both worlds,â Aelin said with a cheeky smile. âYou donât like sharing your girlfriend, but sheâs my best friend. You still can talk to her and freely ignore me.â
Lorcan was not impressed by the explanation. Back in the city, Aelin would have done everything in her power to avoid a man like him. He was massive with long black hair and enough scars to indicate bad news. His leather jacket strained with his broad shoulders and thick muscles. And while Aelin would admit she had a thing for guys of a certain physique there was something dark about Lorcan that she couldnât explain. Which made it all the more surprising that he and Elide had started dating.
âHey, Aelin!â Elide appeared from the swinging doors that led to the kitchen, carrying a tray of appetizers for another table.
âHey!â Aelin called back.
Just a few months ago, Elide had told her about the confession sheâd overheard where Lorcan admitted his feelings for her. It had led to a heated kiss and a night that Elide said was the best of her life. It was the only explanation Aelin needed or wanted. She was glad her friend was happy, even if it was with Lorcan Salvaterre.
âGlad to see youâre still grumpy as ever,â Aelin told Lorcan. She snagged a few pretzels in one of the many bowls set up along the bar. Sheâd long gotten over her germ contamination worries. Â
Lorcan grunted and sipped his beer. Aelin rolled her eyes.
âYouâre just like Whitethorn,â she said.
Another grunt. Well, it was better than utter ignorance she supposed.
Elide appeared a minute later. She leaned against the counter and raised a brow.
âWow, you actually chose to sit next to Lorcan,â she said, âIâm proud of you.â
âI figured it would be better than making the old man upset that you would choose me over him to talk to,â Aelin explained. âBesides, I think heâs warming up to me.â
Lorcan cut her a look that only had her grinning.
Elide snorted a laugh. âYeah, besties the two of you. What would you like to drink?â
âJust a coke,â Aelin said, âI should get home soon.â
âCoke and mozzarella sticks coming up,â Elide said with a wink. She glanced at Lorcan. âBabe?â
Lorcan stared at his girlfriend for a long moment before registering what she said. The corner of his mouth picked up in a smile and he shook his head. Â
âNah, Iâm good.â
Elide only smiled fondly as she got Aelin her coke and went to put in an order for mozzarella sticks.
It was strange to Aelin just how enmeshed sheâd gotten into this small town just in the past few months since arriving. She never thought sheâd find a place to belong more than in Terrasen, but there was something about Oakwald that she couldnât deny enjoying. It certainly helped that she and Elide had become such quick friends. Â
But really, Aelin was glad to be out of Terrasen. She needed a new start. A new life. Here, no one knew her history, her parents, anything beyond the fact that she was the new therapist on Whitethorn Ranch. And she liked it that way.
Elide returned a minute later, her thick black hair piled in a new bun atop her head. She often worked doubles all week long without much time for herself, let alone to date anyone. But Aelin had learned a long time ago that Elide was as good as they came. She worked hard, cared harder, and was one of the most genuine individuals sheâd ever met.
âHow was the ranch?â Elide asked. She set another beer on the bar for Lorcan without his needing to ask for it.
âGood,â Aelin said, âitâs been slowing down. But if Whitethorn wouldnât be such an ass, it would pick up. I pitched him my idea for the extra week over the holidays. Heâs just going to say no, though.â Beside her, Lorcan made a noise. She shot him a glare. âWhat?â
âNothing,â he said, âit doesnât matter.â
He looked up when the bar door opened and a few of his friends came in. He rapped his knuckles on the counter before standing to go join them.
Aelin looked back to Elide. âHow can you like him?â
âBecause I do,â Elide said simply. She leaned across the counter with a sigh. âIâm sure Rowan will approve your idea. Itâs a good one and he knows itâs what his ranch is for. Take him the numbers and notes you came up with. He canât say no to concrete evidence.â
Aelin nodded absently. When sheâd come to Oakwald it had been in part to get away from Terrasen. But it had also been a beckoning call from her cousin and his wife.
Lysandra Cavarre-Ashryver had been a close friend of Aelinâs for years when theyâd grown up together in Terrasen. Theyâd lost contact when Lysandraâs foster family took her across the country. Aelin too had lost contact with her cousin after a series of messy family drama. It was only after AelinâsâŚaccident a few years ago that theyâd slowly reconnected.
And to be honest ever since talking with Lysandra and Aedion again, Aelin had slowly started feeling like herself. It had only taken six years.
âI justâŚI really think itâs a good plan, especially for those kids,â she said. This entire thing was the only thing keeping her afloat right now. A job that gave her purpose, a chance to reunite with her cousinâŚit was better than being left with the reality of potentially going back to Terrasen.
Aelin shuddered at the thought and sipped her coke. The carbonation danced on her tongue as she swallowed.
âHeâs going to say yes,â Elide said. She gave Aelin another look of assurance before going back to the kitchen to check on orders.
Aelin didnât know what to think. Elide had to be on her side, thatâs what friends did. But Elide was also not the kind to cling to false hope.
âYeah,â she said to herself. She had to believe that this would go right. Because the alternativeâŚwell she didnât want to think about that.
âŚ
âWhat do you mean no?â Aelin asked.
She stared across the desk at Rowan who looked utterly passive as he sat in his chair, fingers steepled before him.
They were in the office of the main house where most of the âon paperâ business of the ranch was taken care of. Aelin had spent a bit of time here over the last several months. Mostly to force Rowan to listen to her on a subject. And just like all the other times before it was proving to be hostile and unproductive.
The office was simple in decoration with only a few framed pictures of Rowanâs dad, granddad, and great-granddad, a few knick-knacks on the shelves, and medals and certificates of recognition that the ranch had received over the years for various horses that had made nationals and other such things.
 Aelin didnât like the room very much. The rest of the house had a homey feel, but she believed that was because Sellene lived on site while she went to school at the local community college and hosted an online cooking show with Instagram. It was Sellene that added the feminine touch to the main concourses. Rowan hardly seemed like the domestic type. If things were his way the entire house would be empty save for a display of guns.
âI mean no,â Rowan said. He didnât even look apologetic as he delivered the news. âItâs too much work for the ranch in this season. Most of the workers are already leaving until things pick up in the spring. And if you canât guarantee payment then Iâm not putting in the risk.â
She pulled out the binder sheâd curated with Lysandra and dropped it on the desk with a thunk.
âI have the costs and benefits listed, what the program will offer in payment before and after, they have releases all lined up, the programs director is willing to come down and help with whatever is needed supervision wise for the kids.â Aelin flipped the binder open to the different graphs and spreadsheets. âIf youâd just look it over.â
She was trying desperately to keep her voice even, to keep from shaking and revealing too much, but Aelin could feel a familiar sense of panic rising within her. This was happening. He was going to turn her down and she would be left with the solid evidence that she couldnât even do something as simple as start a therapeutic program on her own.
âAelin,â Rowan said. He leaned across the desk and placed a hand on the open binder. He didnât even bother to look at the pages of carefully crafted data. Instead, his stupid green eyes bore into her with what Aelin could only describe as pity.
The bastard was pitying her?
She slid the binder away from him, protective of it and all the work sheâd put into its contents. Â
âFine,â she said. She shouldnât have been surprised. In the last seven months of knowing him, he had always been cold and heartless. The kind of person that Aelin should have known better than getting into business with. He wasnât any better thanâ
âI have three conditions,â Rowan said suddenly.
Aelin snapped her eyes back to his. He couldnât really meanâ
âFirst, youâll be expected to pick up extra slack from the workers who already have approved time off for the holiday,â Rowan said, âand youâll have to convince Lorcan to work over time.â
Aelin blinked at him. âSeriously?â
âYes.â
âNo strings attached?â
âWell, I doubt youâre going to get Lorcan to help.â Rowan shrugged, leaning back in his chair. He paused as if considering what his next words would be. âHe doesnât like helping people very much.â
âI know he doesnât like me,â Aelin said, her body still thrumming with excitement. âNo need to sugar coat it. What was your third condition?â
Rowan adjusted the cuff of his shirt. âThe program director needs to have at least a quarter of the payment to me by tomorrow afternoon.â
âShe can have it to you by today,â Aelin said automatically. She knew that just like her, Lysandra had been waiting for an opportunity like this to come along and had made sure she had sufficient funding all lined up. Plus, there was Aedion who would go to hell and back if it meant getting Lysandra something she wanted.
Rowan didnât seem convinced that her words held much weight but he only nodded. âAlright. Then from the twenty third to January second youâre in charge.â
âDeal. Done.â Aelin agreed automatically. She would have given him the twenty in her wallet and her library card if it would make a difference. Which it should. Her library card was worth gold.
Despite his agreement, displeasure was plain to see on Rowanâs face. He still didnât like this plan. Well he could just suck it up. By the time Aelin was through and was able to execute all the ideas she hadâhe would see. This was going to be a brilliant idea, one that could easily become a new tradition for the ranch.
He held out a hand toward her and Aelin stared. Did he want to shake on this?
âThe binder,â he said, one silver brow raised.
Aelin felt a bit of heat rise in her cheeks, but she forced it back. This binder was her baby. Quite literally the thing that had pulled her through her masterâs program, and hopefully to a doctorate.
âYouâre going to be mean to her,â she said.
âItâs a binder.â
âItâs my child.â
Rowanâs lips parted in surprise. Well, it wasnât the first time sheâd caught him off guard. It was his turn to stare at her, those green eyes boring into her with such intensity Aelin would have thought he could actually see into her soul.
âI need to know what youâre going to put my ranch through,â he said.
Aelin pursed her lips. She knew sheâd have to relent, but handing over the binder felt like handing over a piece of her and she didnât think she was ready for that. Rowanâs hand still wanted expectantly and she glanced down at it. His palm was upturned and she could see the roughhewn calluses on his fingers and knuckles. His skin was clean though, the nails neatly trimmed and no dirt tucked in the nail beds. Sheâd never quite realized just how big Rowan actually was, in all these months. And here he was holding out a hand to her and all she could do was stare.
Like a maniac.
She dropped the binder into his hand. He barely twitched.
âIâll just wait to hear from yourâŚfriend?â he asked.
âLysandra Cavarre,â Aelin said. Technically Lysandra Ashryver, but Aelin really didnât want to go into the complications of last names and what they meant. Sheâd made it this far without any association to her past, she could keep it up a while longer.
âLysandra,â Rowan repeated, committing the name to memory. He nodded and accepted the binder onto his desk. âIâll leave you to it then. Youâve got a lot of work to do if you think Lorcanâs going to agree to this easily.â
âOh, heâs even more of a bastard than you,â Aelin replied quickly. She smiled as sweetly as she would if she were talking with someone she liked. âBut Iâm best friends with his girlfriend.â
With that, Aelin rose from her seat, collecting her bag as she went. When she reached the door, she turned back and smiled again.
âYou wonât regret this.â
Just as she was pulling the door of his office shut behind her, she could have sworn she heard the soft murmur: Mala save me.
Aelin smirked to herself as she walked back through the house. If she was adding just a little bit of extra misery to Rowans day, she didnât suppose that would be an issue. The grumpy buzzard deserved it.
She passed the kitchen where Sellene was sitting at the counter, a pile of books for school in front of her. Pausing, Aelin rerouted to just say hi to the Whitethorn cousin.
Sellene, a few years older than Aelinâs twenty-five, had always been a staple of the ranch. Even when she was doing her schooling, sheâd taken time off to help raise her younger brother Endymion after their parents passed, she was almost always at the ranch. Now that Endymion had gone to his own college of choice, Sellene was now able to pursue her own desires.
âHey, Sel,â Aelin greeted. She went to the fridge and grabbed a water bottle.
âHey Aelin,â Sellene said. âRowan giving you a hard time?â
âHas he always been so cranky?â Aelin asked. She sighed and leaned against the counter as she rested her elbows on the granite. Â
Across from her, Sellene chuckled. âI guess you could say that. Just be glad he likes you.â
âPlease.â Aelin rolled her eyes. âHe hates me.â
âIf he hated you, do you think heâd keep you around?â Sellene raised a brow in question. âHeâs an ass, but he knows you work hard.â
Aelin wasnât so sure of that. Really, she was convinced the only reason Rowan didnât kick her off the ranch was because there were no other options for therapists to come out into the area. It had only taken half a day for Rowan to call her in for an interview when sheâd first applied. The job offer came the next day.
âWhatever you say,â Aelin said. âYou want to help me piss him off even more?â
Sellene sighed. âI would love to, unfortunately I am going to be headed out to visit Endymion during his break. Itâs harder for him to leave his job.â
Aelin shouldnât have been surprised. In the few months sheâd been a part of the homestead sheâd learned quickly that the Whitethorn cousins were a tight knit group. Still, it would have been fun to pit Sellene against Rowan at least for a little bit.
âThatâll be fun,â she said. âIâm sure he misses you.â
âOh, I plan on embarrassing him to no end,â Sellene replied seriously. âHeâs eighteen and thinks heâs the smartest person alive. The boyâs gotta learn some humility.â
Aelin snorted a laugh. Honestly, it was the same thing her own cousin would have said about her.Â
Sellene shut down her computer sighed. âBut I am going to miss this place. Itâs always the best being here during the holidays. Itâll be weird not to see it all.â
It was a strange sentiment to share and Aelin didnât quite know how to respond. But she didnât have time to ask about it. It was already getting late in the day and she needed to call Elide to enlist her help. And then tell Lysandra to send a deposit Rowanâs direction.
âLet me know if you need anything,â Aelin said, sheâd have time to get more information from Sellene later.
âYeah, good luck, Aelin,â Sellene said, smiling softly.
Aelin offered a wave before she hurried out of the house, phone in hand. Â
It only rang once before Elide answered.
âElide?â she asked. âI need your help.â
âŚ
For some reason, Rowan had thought that Aelin wouldnât succeed in meeting the three conditions heâd set out for her. Because, really, how would she be able to convince Lorcan of all people to work over time?
He supposed this was his first lesson in not underestimating her because not half an hour after Aelin left his office the morning, heâd approved the project then he got a call from one Lysandra Cavarre asking for routing information that she could send money to.
By the end of the day, heâd gotten a text from Lorcan.
Your girlfriendâs a menace.
Rowan had stared at the message for entirely too long.
Not my girlfriend.
Lorcanâs brief response said more than anything else could: right.
The brief exchange caught Rowan off guard. Not only for the fact that Lorcan didnât insult Aelin, but the mere idea of calling her his girlfriend. She was the bane of his existence. In the entirety of her time on the ranch sheâd demanded change, created chaos, and riled him up with all her little remarks.
Aelin Galathynius sought to drive him insane. Even when he tried to return the favor, nothing he did seemed enough to deter her. She only rose to the challenge. He guessed he could respect her for that.
Three days after striking the deal with Aelin, Rowan woke early, as he usually did, and headed to the stables. They still had two weeks of preparation before the holidays but there was still plenty to do. Â
Rowan dressed quickly before heading to the kitchen where Sellene had left a smoothie and protein bar in the fridge for him. When there were kids or other guests staying in the cabins, there was a bigger fanfare made for breakfast. For now, this was usually what he got. Heâd much prefer making his own food, but he always appreciated the effort from Sellene.
He grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl as well and headed out to his truck. It was barely four-thirty in the morning but that was the life heâd set out for himself. Heâd barely made it down the deck stairs when he noticed the other car sitting in the drive next to his.
Aelin was leaning against the side of her tiny car, wearing a large flannel and jeans tucked into a pair of boots. In her hands she held two thermoses. Â
âWhat?â She called out to him. âDid you sleep in?â
Rowan crossed the yard toward her. âThe sun isnât even up.â
âYeah, I hate it.â She took a long sip from one of the thermosâ before thrusting the other at him. âHere. Black like your soul.â
Rowan stared at the thermos for a minute before he accepted it. âThanks?â
The morning was dark, not even the horizon had started lighting, yet Rowan could still see the amusement playing in Aelinâs eyes as she watched him. Her hair hung in a long braid over one shoulder, a few tendrils escaped around her temples. She didnât wear any makeup and still there was something so striking about the way she looked.
âItâs not poisoned,â she prompted.
âWhat are you doing here?â he asked, taking a sip of the coffee. It was strong and bitter, just as he liked.
âYou said Iâd need to help pick up the slack,â she said, following him as he walked to his truck. âSo here I am.â
If he were being honest, Rowan was surprised. Aelin had never stuck him as the type to do manual labor. Or really work for that matter. Her wealth and status had been obvious the first time heâd met her. Then there was the car, the designer clothes, the manicures. When heâd hired her, all heâd received were glowing referrals. Another surprise. Even now he was still trying to reconcile his initial impressions of her to who she really was.
âHere you are,â Rowan agreed. He gave her another once over, unable to help but notice the curve of her hips beneath the open flannel. Dammit.
Shaking his head, he unlocked the truck. He could practically hear his mother yelling at him for not opening Aelinâs door for her, but his hands were full. Besides, Aelin didnât seem to notice. She hopped up into the front seat. Her movements were graceful and easy as though sheâd done so a hundred times before.
Rowan settled into his own seat and started the truck up. There was a small layer of frost on the windshield waiting for them. His least favorite part of the day was waiting for the heater to get into gear and finally warm up.
âAre you always up so early?â Aelin asked suddenly. She was huddled in her seat, staving off the chill which was the only thing about the early hour that seemed to be bothering her.
âYeah,â Rowan said. âUnless Lorcanâs going to be in early. But I told him to take the later shift until he comes in for your event.â
Aelin hummed at that as she took a long sip of her own coffee. âInteresting. You should get more sleep. Itâs good for you.â
âIâm in the wrong business for that, princess,â he muttered.
âDonât call me that,â Aelin said. She cut him a glare, her lip curling slightly.
âWhy not?â he asked.
âBecause.â Another sip of her coffee.
Rowan said nothing and tried clearing the windshield. It cleared well enough. He at least wouldnât be out on the open road, so a few skiffs of remaining ice werenât the end of the world. Putting the truck in gear, he backed up a bit before turning.
âAre you always such a morning person?â he asked as they headed down the long drive.
âHell no.â Aelin made a face. âIf I had it my way I wouldnât get out of bed until noon. This is my second round of coffee. Do you have any idea how much I am not looking forward to today? Itâs going to be miserable. The worst. I hate mornings.â
She spoke with such vehemence that Rowan wondered if there really was a way for morning to be such a real entity for someone to hate. It was also amusing, especially the way her nose crinkled in disgust.
âItâs a beautiful morning,â he said, clearing his throat. âYou canât hate that.â
âItâs pitch black and I can see my breath,â she deadpanned. Sighing she adjusted in her seat. âCâmon, buzzard, you wouldnât rather be in bed still? All warm and snuggled up?â
âNo,â he said.
Aelin chuckled in that nonsense sort of way she had. âHmm, right. Even you have to admit a lazy morning in is fun. With the right company.â
Rowan stared staunchly forward. Though, he could still see that insufferable grin of Aelinâs out of the corner of his eye.Â
âIgnoring me now?â she pressed.
The sight of the stables had never been more glorious.
âNo, youâre just impossible.â
âThank-you.â
Rowan parked the truck in its usual spot and tried hard not to smile. He settled with an eye roll.
âLetâs go buzzard,â Aelin said. She threw the door open and hopped out of the truck. âShow me the ropes.â
If there was one thing Rowan knew to be trueâit was going to be a long day. Though as he clambered out of the truck himself, the thought didnât seem as heavy as it once may have been.
âŚ
In the end, the day wasnât bad. In fact, things ran far smoother than Rowan had been expecting. Heâd thought that by having Aelin shadowing him things would go a lot slower and heâd have trouble getting everything done, but she was a ready student.
She handled feed buckets with ease, tied perfect knots on the first try, she even mucked stalls without complaint. If Rowan didnât know any better, heâd have said sheâd spent time in a barn before. A lot of time. She seemed to know her way around the equipment, knew the terms, and sometimes reacted before he even needed to give instruction.
When he tried to ask her about it, she told him he was insane. Â
It wasnât the first time someone had lied to him, but he figured it wasnât worth trying to needle the information out of her.
The routine continued for the rest of the week. Aelin would be at the ranch first thing in the morning with coffee and theyâd work all day together until dinner when theyâd return to the main house. Â
âYou know you still have a room in the house, right?â Rowan asked one morning. âYou donât have to do this back and forth.â
âOh,â Aelin looked out her window as they passed familiar pastures. âI guessâŚI figured you wouldnât want me there? Selleneâs gone and all, why not have the place to yourself?â
It was true, Rowan often enjoyed his time alone unless he went into town to have a drink with Lorcan, Fenrys, and Connall. A recluse, Aelin had called him on occasion.
The strange thing about it wasâŚRowan didnât think he would have minded Aelin being around more. She drove him mad, more often than not, but even in the last few weeks (days really) there had been a subtle shift. One that he didnât know how to identify.
âYour friend is coming with the new group of kids, right?â Shifting the conversation seemed the safer option so he didnât hesitate.
âShe and her husband,â Aelin agreed, he didnât miss the look she gave him. âThey were planning on staying at the house, if thatâs still alright?â
âYeah, weâve got plenty of space,â Rowan said. The house was enormous with five separate rooms and four bathrooms. His great-grandfather had always wanted a home to welcome as many guests as possible so new additions were added on continuously in the early years. His own parents had hoped to keep the house full of children. In the end, it was only Rowan who waged war upon the floorboards.
Aelin nodded absently, her fingers drumming on her thermos absently. âIâll come up with them and stay the week before and during.â
âAlright,â Rowan said. The drive to the stables that morning was the same as ever with only another light dusting of snow falling from the sky. As late December encroached, it wouldnât surprise him if they were due for a storm.
âTheyâll be coming tomorrow, I think,â Aelin said, âLys and Aedion.â
Rowan started. âAedion Ashryver?â
In her seat, Aelin visibly flinched. She covered it almost seamlessly as she tossed her hair over her shoulder and sat up a little straighter.
âHeâs an ass,â Aelin told him. âThough, very good looking.â
Rowan could only stare. The Ashryvers were practically celebrities in the world of horses and ranch work. Evalin and her sister Andra made waves when they were young for their work in showing horses, not just in contemporary riding, but racing, and rodeo. Theyâd set a standard for those that would come after as they changed the equestrian world for years to come.
He didnât know much of what had happened to either woman after theyâd aged out. Only that they continued to run a ranch out in the countryside of Terrasen for breeding and training. He knew there had been a scandal of some sort five or six years ago involving a rider and a trainer, but the story evaded him.
When they got to the stables, Lorcanâs own truck was already there and heâd turned on the floodlights to help beckon in the rising dawn. They were still a week out from when the Christmas group of kids would come, so Lorcan shouldnât have even been there.
Rowan glanced at Aelin who didnât seem the least bit surprised at the sight.
âHow did you get him to agree to this?â Rowan asked.
âI can be very convincing,â Aelin replied simply. âAnd Elide.â
Not sure he wanted to know the full details in that, Rowan let the rest of the conversation drop.
As always, Lorcan remained in his quiet way. He went about his usual duties without comment, only nodding in acknowledgment as Rowan and Aelin entered the stables.
âShouldnât you be sleeping in?â Rowan asked. He rested his keys on the rack beside the doors, not yet ready to take off his coat to the morning chill.
âCouldnât,â Lorcan replied with a shrug. He nodded to Aelin. âRegretting your choices yet?â
âNope.â Aelin smiled brightly. She took a long sip of her coffee and went to the row of shelves reserved for personal items. Â
Lorcan shot Rowan a look that he ignored. Theyâd had plenty of conversations about Aelin and the week she had planned for the holiday. Besides, if Lorcan couldnât say no to Aelin (even if Elide wasnât a factor) they were both idiots.
Knowing better than to try and tease Lorcan about how quickly heâd fallen for Elide, he crossed the stables to where his friend was working on preparing some equipment.
âWhatâve you already taken care of?â He and Aelin had gotten a slightly late start for the day--a mix of him waking up late and the frost and Aelin needing to steal breakfast from him.Â
âNot much,â Lorcan admitted, âeverythingâs pretty much good. The vetâs coming around for check-ups this afternoon.â
âDo you know how the cabins are looking?â
Lorcan shrugged. âProbably about the same as when the last group left.â
That shouldnât have surprised him. âWeâll go take a look then come back to help prep for the vet visit.â
âSure,â Lorcan said. He glanced to where Aelin was kneeling before the ranch pig, dubbed Ex because it had been Endymionâs turn to pick a name. The finalists of names fell between Frank and Excali-wilbur and Endymion did not disappoint. âHave you told her yet?â
Rowan scowled. âIt doesnât matter.â
âSure,â Lorcan said, scraping off a bit of dirt from an old bridle set. âKeep telling yourself that.â
The words sat heavy with Rowan the rest of the day. He knew that Lorcan just liked screwing with him on occasion. But there was also a part of him that worried if there was truth to Lorcanâs ominous words. He really didnât see what it mattered though--whether he was going to sell the ranch or not was his own business.
He really didnât see what the difference was if he continued to owned the ranch or not. Sellene and Endymion hadnât expressed any in taking the land over for themselves and they were the only living relatives Rowan knew about. Theirs were the only opinions that mattered.
Still, by the time he and Aelin finished getting the cabins ready for the guests in the coming weeks, he couldnât help but feel a niggling sense of guilt. He kept tamping it down of course.
It wasnât until mid-day that the vet came around that Rowan was finally able to turn his thoughts in different directions. They had two pregnant mares in the stables that year which was the biggest concern Rowan had. Theyâd both foaled before but there was still plenty of room for things to go wrong. Besides them, there were six other horses to be looked over. It was usually a two-day affair, especially when weather got a little dodgy, but the vet seemed confident theyâd finish up by the end of the day.
While the vet was in with Farasha, Rowan realized he hadnât seen Aelin for a bit. He might have had his misgivings about her, but sheâd proven herself to be responsible and attentive in all her recent duties. Even if she didnât like horses.
Rowan glanced around the main floor of the stables before heading to the back stalls where the two pregnant mareâs were settled. It was the warmest part of the large barn with the largest stalls. His boots scuffed in a bit of hay as he went and he almost missed the soft voice talking to the horses.
Diana and Hessina, thankfully got along alright. Sometimes pregnant mares could get a little feisty with each other, but the two had been inseparable when theyâd been born the same season almost six years ago now. Rowan remembered the day.
He stopped just outside Hessinaâs stall and what he saw made him question just about everything he thought he knew.
Standing in Hessinaâs stall with a set of brushes and other items was Aelin. She carefully ran a curry brush over Hessinaâs coat in methodic movements. All the while she continued to talk softly to the mare.
âAlright, mama,â Aelin said, âletâs get you cleaned up. You deserve it donât you? Especially before baby gets here, huh? Look at you so pretty standing here for me.â
For a minute, Rowan thought heâd wandered into an alternate reality. In all the months of her being on the ranch, Aelin had never approached one of the horses so willingly. Sheâd kept her distance from the barn and the animals beside the pig and the goats. Heâd never have expected her to spend time with any of the horses, let alone grooming them. And doing so with obvious practice and ease.
âI thought you hated horses?â he found himself saying.
Aelin froze. It was the first time heâd ever caught her off guard.
âI never said that,â she replied. She traded out brushes and ran a shedding blade over Hessina next.Â
âYouâve never spent more than a minute with any of the horses in all the time youâve been here,â Rowan said.
He entered the stall and grabbed a brush to use on Hessinaâs mane. Somehow, no matter what he or any of the stable hands tried, the long hair always got tangled even if they were careful to brush it the day before.
âThat doesnât mean I hate them,â Aelin said. Her voice was soft, lilting in that way sheâd used when she was addressing Hessina specifically. âNot when theyâre such pretty girls.â
Her long fingers ran over Hessinaâs sides, pausing over the swell of the mareâs belly. It seemed as though she knew exactly how to handle a horse. Or at least where to massage a pregnant mareâs muscles effectively or how to run a flat brush over the coat to leave it gleaming. Truth be told, heâd never seen Hessina looked as relaxed as she did now under Aelinâs ministrations. No matter what Aelin said, she was a natural.
Rowan tugged at Hessinaâs mane with as much care as he could. But he noted the twitch of her ears.
âSorry,â he murmured, knowing heâd pulled too hard. He glanced back to Aelin. âSeriously, youâve never spent this much time with the horses before. You know how to care for them. And you can make a decent knot. I thought you were a city girl?â
Aelin shrugged, walking to Hessinaâs other side. âI am a city girl.â
âNo.â Rowan shook his head. âThereâs more to you than that.â
They stood across from each other now, more or less. And Aelin wouldnât meet his gaze as she brushed out Hessinaâs other side. Her lips thinned and Rowan knew she was thinking deeply on something. Â
âI used to read all the horse books I could,â she finally said, âmade my mom buy them all for me. I had a whole bookshelf devoted to them. And then I grew up.â
Her hands paused, fingers grazing over a few stray bits of Hessinaâs mane. A stray thought took her mind far away from that place. Far enough that she stopped brushing entirely. Hessina took offense to that and nickered, dipping her head back towards Aelin.
Chuckling, Aelin reached out and scratched the mareâs nose before she continued brushing.
âWhat about you, Whitethorn,â she asked, blue eyes sparking with delight as she finally looked at him. âWere you always in a horse boy phase or did it come suddenly?â
He rolled his eyes. âI grew up on this ranch, itâs all I know.â
Aelin paused at his words. She looked as though she wanted to something, but the words were lost on her. Instead, she shook her head and nodded at his work.
âYouâre making that worse, arenât you?â
âNo,â he said defensively.
No matter what he said though, Aelin came over to take a look at the work he was doing on the mane.
âA girlâs pride is in her hair,â she said, whether to him or Hessina, Rowan had no idea. Â
He could only watch as Aelin took over detangling and brushing. Her hands were soft as she tugged and brushed. Occasionally she would murmur something and give the mare an affectionate pat on the neck.
What he didnât notice was how close he and Aelin were standing, not at first. But the second he realized it; it was all he could think about. He could feel the warmth radiating off of her and he could still smell the lemon verbena of her shampoo in her hair. Even with the bit of sweat and dirt that lingered on her skin.
There was something about watching the methodical way she worked that was mesmerizing. Nothing seemed to frustrate her as she went even when something didnât detangle immediately or if she had to make a bigger mess in order to get things right. She would only hum under her breath and continue.
âDo youââ she began to speak and spun almost directly into him. She made a small noise of surprise and stumbled just a bit before Rowan reached out to steady her. âHell. Sorry.â
She blinked up at him with those bright blue eyes and he noticed a ring of gold around the pupils adding to that light that always seemed to illuminate her.
Gripping her arms, he waited until she regained her footing before slowly pulling away.
âYou good?â
Aelin nodded; mouth parted slightly as though she were about to say something.
The illusion shattered when Lorcan called out from the main stable.
âWhitethorn, get out here!â
It was probably better that wayâfor Rowan to leave Aelin there. She turned back to Hessina and kept talking with those soft words and gentle inflections. Whatever spell had been over them was long gone. Though that was for the better. Rowan didnât need to get close to Aelin. Not now.
So, he tried to forget about the last ten minutes and went to help Lorcan with whatever it was he needed.
âŚ
When she was eighteen, Aelin had her first serious crush.
It was different than all the other little sparks sheâd ever gotten before. It was different, new, and completely reckless. Oh, sheâd never acted on it, not exactly. And maybe it was better that way. Because in the coming year (and several years after) Aelin would come to realize that boys, men, would never treat her well. Especially not the ones that had country written into their bones.
So when she came to Whitethorn ranch at the beginning of the summer, sheâd told herself it was for the experience. It was for the work she loved. It was for the kids who needed help.
And then there was Rowan.
Theyâd clashed the entirety of their working relationship and Aelin really didnât know how sheâd lasted as long as she did. And here she was now, on the brink December and the New Year right around the corner. Â
She sighed and straightened the small room designated for her at the main house. Rowan had let her off for the two days leading up to the main camp days when Lysandra and Aedion would be arriving. Â
The room was the next biggest aside from the master suite that Rowan slept in. With its own bathroom and the large window that overlooked the back western side of the ranch with the mountains in the distanceâAelin loved it.
It was already decorated with a few things of the Whitethorn family. A few black and white photos from the early days, hand embroidery frames, and a few porcelain figures in the inlaid shelving. It was simple and homey and for whatever reason, Aelin didnât feel the need to change anything. Except for the piles of books and a few pictures of her own family.
As she straightened things up, and prepared the bedroom across the hall for Lys and Aedion, she couldnât help but think of the last few days with Rowan.
She didnât know how it was possible, but they hadnât killed each other. There werenât even any attempts. Sure, their words held just as many barbs as before, but it felt different. Or maybe she was just hoping there was something different. Â
For as much as she complained about how small Oakwald was and how difficult working on the ranch and the therapy work here was--she wanted to make this home. She wanted this to be a place she could put down roots. Here, no one knew her past. No one knew who her family was. No one knew every little detail about who she was other than simple being Aelin.
Her phone started ringing at the same time a series of honks echoed from the front of the house. Grinning, Aelin answered the phone already knowing who was on the other line.
âAre you here?â she demanded.
âBitch, what do you think?â Lysandra said on the other line. In the background Aelin could hear Aedion: stop honking the horn, Lys. She knows.
âIâll be down in a second,â Aelin chuckled.
She flew from her room and down the stairs of the house. She barely bothered with the slippers waiting by the front door before she threw the front door open.
The SUV hadnât even come to a full stop before the passenger door opened and Lysandra got out. Her long dark hair hung loose and she wore a simple gray sweater and jeans. She screamed when she saw Aelin and ran across the yard toward her.
Aelin met her halfway, pulling her friend into a hug.
âIâve missed you so much!â Lysandra was saying as she continued to hug Aelin. âItâs been so boring without you.â
âIâm sorry I left you alone with Aedion,â Aelin teased. She pulled back, grinning.
Aedion huffed as he came around the SUV. His blond hair, so similar to Aelinâs, long enough to just barely fit into a low tie, his handsome features slightly distorted with a scowl.
âI love you too, Aelin,â he said, trying and failing to hold his disapproving look.
Aelin launched herself at her cousin. It had been a while since theyâd seen each other between work and distance. But she was grateful he had chosen to come and help both her and Lys.
âYou do love me,â she insisted, âI introduced you to your wife, after all.â
Aedion pulled back with a roll of his eyes. âYes, Iâm forever in your debt.â
âI know,â Aelin said seriously. She then turned and linked arms with Lysandra. âCâmon, Iâve got a room ready for you.â
Her friend didnât immediately follow through, instead turning in the cold morning air, taking in the sweeping blue skies and acres and acres of land surrounding them.
âSeriously, Aelin, where are we? This feels like a step out of time.â
Sheâd thought the same thing when first arriving. âItâs better in summer and you're not freezing your butt off.â
Indeed, during the winter the sun could be out and bright and happy like it was now, but it was still cold enough to want to literally crawl into a fireplace and never come back out like some sort of dragon. Â
Aedion offered to get the bags, letting Aelin and Lysandra head up to the house.
âSo,â Lysandra said as they went to the kitchen. âWhereâs Rowan?â
Aelin rolled her eyes. âHeâs at the stables finishing things up.â
âBut heâll be here later?â Lysandra pressed; one brow raised.
âYes.â
âAnd youâve been sleeping under the same roof and nothingâs happened?â Lysandra scoffed and accepted a proffered glass of water.
âPlease, Lys, heâs my boss. And an ass.â Aelin turned to find snacks or something else to offer while her cheeks flushed at Lysandraâs words.
âMm-hm,â Lysandra hummed with obvious doubt. âIâve looked him up, heâs hot.â
âLysandra!â Aelin spun on her friend who let out a cackle.Â
âYou should see your face,â Lysandra laughed. âYou know Iâm right.â
âHeâs made my life miserable,â Aelin said, âand, like I said, heâs an ass.â
âRight.â Lysandra merely sipped her water and sighed. âYou keep saying that.â
Much to Aelinâs appreciation, Aedion entered the house, bags in hand. She left Lysandra in the kitchen and showed Aedion to the room sheâd set up for the two of them. It was the one room just a little more isolated than the others, but that just made it feel a little cozier. Which she didnât think theyâd mind.
From there, the rest of the day was relatively nice. Even with Lysandraâs continued teasing about Rowan. Thankfully, she kept most of it up when Aedion wasnât around.
Aelin gave them a tour of the house and immediate grounds before heading out to the cabins reserved for the kids that would be arriving in the next several days.
She and Lysandra were able to go over the various activities and group sessions and plan out where each would take place and how transport would work. Thankfully, the main house was a good central point and should the weather stay nice, walking wouldnât be an issue.
âThereâs supposed to be a storm,â Aelin said at one point, âbut theyâve been saying it would happen for two weeks now, and nothing. I think itâll just hit Denver and move on.â
That was the hope. But Aelin wouldnât let herself worry about a snow storm right now. They had a contingency plan in place, but the weather had been cooperating thus far that she doubted it would be an issue.
Later that night as they were fixing dinner, Aedion broke out his excellent cooking skills with a chicken and vegetable skillet, Rowan finally returned home.Â
âWelcome back, Buzzard!â Aelin called when she heard the door open and shut. She also heard the way he paused while trying to decide if he could get out of being social. âWe just made dinner, come join us.â
Lysandra shot her a look, but Aelin ignored it. Instead, she got an extra plate ready as Rowan slowly trudged into the kitchen.
âThis is Lysandra and Aedion,â Aelin said, âLys founded the group that weâre hosting next week. And her husband, Aedion, is the muscle.â
She didnât know why she didnât mention that Aedion was her cousin, but the admission just felt off. Aelin had spent so long distancing herself from her motherâs name and the attention that it got that it just felt natural not to bring it up. Besides, that wasnât the point of this visit or the event theyâd worked so hard on.
âItâs nice to meet you,â Rowan said, he didnât smile, but Aelin supposed him joining them all for dinner was good enough.
âWeâre just running through the week,â Aelin said. She handed him his plate which he accepted. âIs there anything you wanted to talk about with the itinerary I gave you?â
Rowan didnât answer immediately. He settled in his seat next to her and took a bite of his food, thinking. Or just avoiding talking.
âNah,â he said after a minute. âEverything looks fine. Thereâs going to be ten kids in total?â
âMaybe eight,â Lysandra spoke up, âitâs a little hard to get exact numbers right now. Some kids are being shuffled so close to the holidays and their guardians are beingâŚdifficult.â She made a disgruntled sort of face. âBut I know for sure eight of them are ready to go. The other two weâre waiting on some consent forms.â
It wasnât anything surprising to Aelin. But they would make the best of it and hopefully all the kids theyâd planned for would come.
âThereâs plenty of room no matter who chooses to come,â Rowan said, âso thatâs not a problem.â
âYou said youâre not going to be around on the Friday after Christmas though, right?â Aelin asked. He hadnât told her why or what he was doing, just that there was business on the ranch that needed taking care of. She thought better than asking for more details especially when he was so guarded about the affair in general.
Rowan paused for a heartbeat in his ravenous eating and Aelin almost wouldnât have noticed if not for the way his eyes skirted to hers and dipped away just as quickly.
âIâve got a meeting planned most of the day,â he said, âbut if anything goes wrongââ
âTheyâll be fine.â Aedion spoke up with a wave of his hand. âIf thereâs anyone who knows how to embrace chaos to her advantage itâs Aelin.â
Aelin rolled her eyes, passing the water pitcher around the table. âI stole my dadâs truck once and it worked out fine.â
âIâm talking about the time you set off all those fireworks and nearly set the house on fire, but thanks for proving my point.â Aedion grinned at her glare.
Rowan only shook his head from beside her. âWhat the hell kind of childhood did you have?â
âNormal, perfectly normal.â Aelin said. Desperate to keep the conversation moving and away from any revelation of how she and Aedion were related, she kept talking. âBesides, none of that will be happening this week. I didnât have time to find any fireworks.â
âPlease,â Lysandra said, âyou donât even try not to cause problems. Remember in college you stole that frats keg?â
âBecause Archer Finn plagiarized my report on Edgar Allen--you know, he was an ass thatâs all that matters.â Aelin had done a lot of questionable things in the name of justice. But stealing that keg was damn near the top of the list considering the fact she nabbed it in the middle of the biggest party of the semester. Truly remarkable. âSo it was less of a problem and more karma calling his name.â
âSo,â Rowan said, glancing over at her, âyou really have been a menace all these years?â
She should have been affronted by his teasing but with the way he was actually smiling with amusement burning in his eyes and the levity of the nightâAelin found she couldnât be mad. Because here, for this small moment, Aelin wasnât scared about what the future might hold.
âŚ
Despite the teasing of her cousin and Lysandra, Aelin really did exist best in chaos. She wasnât at all intimidated when the week officially started for the outreach program. She didnât even have panicked stress dreams about it either. Everything had been planned out in detail. It was going to be a success.
And everything her friends had done to help make it possible just warmed Aelin all the more. Between all that Lysandra and Aedion did on their end, to Elide volunteering her days when she wasnât needed at the bar, and Lorcan willfully helping out (through whatever bribery Elide had offered), everything started off without a hitch.
The thing about therapy that Aelin loved the most was the breakthroughs. The understanding that came with trauma and healing. It was often a long hard journey, but it happened. And when you worked with kids? It made the work all the better.
The week wouldnât be focused on the talk therapy of it all though. Mostly theyâd be going on hikes, cooking in the main house, learning about the horses and caring for them, and then a little of the therapy side. This week was about feeling safe and finding joy in an otherwise hard spot of life and Aelin was determined to help offer that bit of peace.
After all the kids arrived, twelve total and ranging from twelve to seventeen years old, everything continued as expected. The kids were paired off closer to their ages into the two different cabins and it all seemed to be working for the best.
Aelin found that two of the younger kids, Evangeline and Luca, were the more hesitant of being there. Despite Lucaâs outgoing nature, Aelin could tell there was a bit of worry in his attitude as he always seemed to look to her for approval in any of the activities they did. Evangeline always sidled over to Lysandra. It wasnât a strange occurrence, just one they needed to be careful with.
Though, if Aelin knew Lysandra like she did, her friend had done work with Evangeline before and was fiercely protective of her now. Â
âHow many sâmores can these kids eat?â Rowan asked one night.
They were having an outdoor campfire with sâmores and other treats while Elide of all people told scary stories.
âSugar is an essential food group, buzzard,â Aelin reminded him, âespecially for teens.â
They stood just a bit away from the fire pit outside two of the cabins, just far enough away to not be distracting. It was Thursday meaning the week would officially finish out on Monday and the ranch would be able to return to its usual winter hours and day to day functions. Aelin was a little upset by the idea, but she was sure Rowan was as giddy as he could be over the prospect.
âI thought that was just you,â Rowan said.
Aelin kicked him with the toe of her boot. If her hands hadnât been stuffed into the pockets of her coat, she might have flipped him off.
âHa, ha,â she said.Â
âSeriously,â Rowan continued, âIâve seen the stash you think youâre hiding in the kitchen.â
âChocolate is good for the soul,â Aelin sniffed, âand I recommend the occasional indulgence as a therapist.â
Rowan shook his head, looking out over the fields behind them. A ghost of a smile fell across his lips and even in the flickering shadows of the fire, Aelin thought it was the most beautiful sight.
âOccasional indulgence, sure,â he murmured.Â
âWe canât all love kale as much as you do,â Aelin said. Sheâd seen what he came home with from the store. Kale and zucchini and any myriad of health foods.
He only smiled at her and Aelin felt it like a punch to the gut. She had no idea what had happened in the last few weeks, but somewhere along the way the loathing had simmered away toâŚappreciation? Admiration? Whatever the feeling was, she didnât know where it came from, but it was here all the same.
âThank-you for agreeing to this Rowan,â she said, before she could lose her nerve. âFor agreeing to let us host this week and letting these kids come here. I know itâs not the most convenient thing. But I know it means a lot to them.â
And me, she added silently.
His smile fell just a touch. âAelinââ
Whatever else he was about to say was swallowed up by Lysandra announcing it was time to head off to bed. The quiet contentment of the night disbanded as the kids all voiced their complaints and pleads for another story. Apparently Elideâs tales about bloodthirsty witches were all the rage.
But it was well nearing eleven and theyâd all been up late enough as it was and Aelin herself was exhausted. They rounded everybody up and had them filter off to their cabins. Elide and Lorcan would serve as chaperones that night, giving Lysandra and Aedion a break.
Hopefully it would put a stop to a small issue growing between Luca and one of the other boys, Aelin didnât know all the details as Luca refused to talk further about it, but she was worried nonetheless. And even if she wasnât sure about the idea of Lorcan as a chaperone, Rowan assured her that he was surprisingly good with kids. Aelin decided she would trust Rowan on that front, and let the issue slide. For now.
âŚ
Friday dawned dark and chilly. The sky was full of gray clouds that stretched as far as the eye could see. It made Aelin feel boxed in even if there was still just as much open air as before. But those clouds hung low and didnât budge.
She tried to not let it bother her, it was bound to happen eventually. And in this area the weather was always changing. By the afternoon there would be a break in the clouds and the sun would return. Or else theyâd just get a light skiff of snow.
The day was being treated as a small rest day, of sorts. The kids had helped cook breakfast for everyone, played a few games outside, and they were now headed out to the stables to help build a shed for the goats. Â
It was less of build and more of a supervision. If the kids wanted to help they could, if not, Aelin had it on good authority the goats enjoyed chasing people as a game. Plus, one of the stable hands that had volunteered to help out was a master sling-shot expert and could take the kids to the side of the barn to practice their skills (on non-living targets). Â
They got to the stables just after lunch and clean-up. This was going to fill most of the rest of the day and then lead into a few individual sessions with the kids. No one had mentioned that it was Christmas or anything of the sort and none of the kids seemed to be having any major issues. But Aelin wanted to have a chance to talk with them and see if this week had helped them at all. From what she could tell it hadnât done any irreparable damage, but kids could be excellent at masking their emotions if they really wanted to.
As the building commenced, Aelin took note of Rowanâs truck outside the stables in its usual spot. Beside it was another car, a Tesla of all things. Sheâd thought Rowan was supposed to be in a business meeting, not at the stables.
She made sure the kids were all occupied doing what they were supposed to, or at least just having fun, before she walked over to where Lorcan was exchanging water for one of the troughs.
âIs Rowan here today?â she asked without preamble.
Lorcan raised a brow and leaned against the fence, balancing the empty blue water barrel beside him. âWhat?â
âRowan,â she said, gesturing to his truck. âI didnât think he would be on the property today.â
Looking away from her, Lorcan ran a hand over his jaw. It was obvious he was trying to decide what to say exactly and that made trepidation rise in Aelinâs throat.
âHeâs here, I canât tell you more than that though.â
âWhatâs that supposed to mean?â
âIt means,â Lorcan said, pushing off of the fence, âthat you can talk to Rowan about it.â
He walked away then, leaving Aelin to mull over the words that she already didnât like. She watched him trek back to the stables and a part of her expected to see Rowan walking out as though waiting for that exact moment.
It was foolish, she knew. Whatever worry was gnawing at her gut was unfounded and she didnât need to get caught up on this.
Aelin forced herself back to where the kids were helping out with nails and plywood, a few had wandered off to stack crates together which the goats started climbing on with ease. She came to a stop beside Lysandra, stuffing her hands into her coat against another stiff breeze. The air smelled cold, if that could even be a scent. But she didnât know how else to describe that stiff, clean sterility.
âWhatâs up?â Lysandra asked, leaning into her.
âNothing,â Aelin replied, glancing one more time at the stables. âNothing, itâs fine.â
Lysandra didnât look convinced. She remained quiet though as she returned her attention out to the paddock of goats and kids.
Aelin did her best to try and pay attention to the kids and offer encouragement and commentary where needed, but her mind was elsewhere. Which, she knew was stupid. She shouldnât be thinking about Rowan and what was going on with him and his âbusiness meetingâ if thatâs what was really going on. And she shouldnât even care whether or not it was for business. Right?
A part of her did care though. A part of her wondered what his meeting was about and why he hadnât gone into detail about it with her. She knew they werenât technically business partners, but she did a lot of work for him all the same. And the things that she did were specific to the business and therapy modem that Whitethorn ranch was known for. Shouldnât she be at least a little involved?
Half an hour later, Aelin had almost completely distracted herself until she heard the sound of Rowanâs low voice. She spun towards it, already knowing what she would say to him. But the second she turned it wasnât Rowan that caught her attention. It was the well-dressed man walking beside him.
Aelin felt her entire body seize up as a cold numbness swept through her. Static crackled in her ears and her mouth went dry.
Because there beside Rowan was the man who had ruined Aelinâs life.
With auburn hair hanging loose around his face and gray suit that never seemed to wrinkle or stain--Arobynn Hamel looked the same as the day Aelin last saw him. She still hadnât been released from the hospital after the accident, still unsure if sheâd be able to walk again, and still unsure what her life would look like. But sheâd held on to hope. Sheâd held on long enough for him to come and place blame directly on her shoulders before sauntering away as though he couldnât have cared less about what happened to her.
Sheâd been nineteen then. Nineteen and convinced that he was supposed to be the answer to all her problems. That was the thing about glorifying people when you were a kid, you never understood just what a dangerous game that was.
She tried reaching out for Lysandra, but her friend had entered the goat paddock to help hold a few boards in place. She was alone. Alone and watching the second Arobynn saw her. He immediately made a b-line towards her.
âWell, well,â Arobynn said as he approached. Just as heâd always been, he had that cold arrogance about him. It was the same sort of swagger than everyone in their circles had. The kind of money and stature, that he was better than everyone else around him. He had to be in his mid-thirties now. Though, he didnât look it. He was just as handsome as ever. âAelin. What a pleasant surprise.â
Aelin had to swallow before she could answer. Swallow and look past that perfectly charming smile he wore. âHamel. What are you doing here?â
Arobynn merely smiled, stretching his arms. âYou donât know? Rowan and I are in the midst of a business deal.â
Behind Arobynn, Rowan appeared. He looked just the same as he always did: brooding, stoic, and pissed to hell and back. His green eyes flicked between Aelin and Arobynn, scowl deepening.
Aelin felt the pit in her stomach grow and she swore she was going to vomit. She did her best to remain in control of her emotions as she looked at Rowan.
âWhat deal, Rowan?â she asked. Though, she already knew the answer, didn't she?
âIâm buying the land,â Arobynn answered before Rowan could. âIâve been expanding my business, didnât you know?â
No, she didnât. Because Aelin had done everything in her power to avoid anything that had to do with Hamel in the last several years. Â
As though sensing her distress, Arobynn flashed another sharp smile. âI look forward to working with you again, Aelin. Just like old times, isnât it?â
There was nothing she could say. She couldnât trust herself not to yell or scream or cry or any combination of the three. That would be showing weakness. And she was not weak.
âIâll have my attorney look over your offer,â Rowan said quietly, drawing Hamelâs attention again. âWeâll be in contact.â
âGood,â Arobynn said, âIâd rather see this done sooner than later. Whitethorn.â
Without any semblance of pleasantries, Arobynn left them and returned to his car. That stupid silver Tesla that looked like a box and had no business being out on a farm. For all Aelin cared it could go crash in a borough and get waylaid by hay and snow. It wasnât until the car silently pulled away and back down that Aelin felt her own voice return.
âYouâre selling?â It was more of an accusation than anything.
Rowan straightened; arms still crossed over his chest. âYes.â
âWhy?â At least her voice wasnât shaking. At least she still sounded somewhat in control.
âBecause I have to,â Rowan replied, but he looked away from her and Aelin knew that wasnât the truth of it. âThe why doesnât even matter Aelin, you wouldnât understand.â
A laugh escaped her. Of course she wouldnât. Because sheâd only been here a few short months, she wasnât really a part of the life here or any of where the ranch had come from. But sheâd still put her blood, sweat, and tears into the ranch. Sheâd wanted to see it succeed, thatâs why Rowan had even hired her as a part time trauma specialist, wasnât it?
âI know enough about this place,â she said, âitâs a staple of the community, of honest good work that no one else does, Rowan. I know that much. I understand that much. That itâs helped more people get unstuck from life than just about any other program Iâve seen.â
He only shook his head, hand running through his hair. The silver locks fell over his brow and for a moment, for one brief moment, Aelin thought she saw a part of him that she could reconcile with. A softer allusion of the hard contours that Rowan often displayed.
âMy reasons are my own,â he said firmly. His eyes sparked with anger as he watched her. âAnd it doesnât really matter beyond that. I can't keep doing this. And--why do you even care? It wonât even affect you that much. Hamelâs going to keep it as a horse ranch mostly, and agrees with the work going on. I don't think he'd change much. He obviously likes you, so you can do whatever you want.â
Aelin couldnât hide her flinch. She tucked her arms around her middle more as an effort of protection and hiding than anything else. âYou donât know what youâre talking about.â
âPlease, Aelin. You donât need me here,â Rowan said, âthis place will do well enough without me.â
âSo youâre giving up?â She could only stare at him. This wasnât the Rowan Whitethorn sheâd come to know, the one that she fought with on a daily basis. This was someone else entirely.
âItâs none of your business, Aelin.â
âIâm a part of this ranch, arenât I? Iâve been here for months, and for what?â
âI never asked you to stick around.â Rowan let out an exasperated huff.Â
âHeâs not a good man, Rowan,â Aelin said. Most of the fight had gone out of her, replaced with dread and pain. âYou donât want him buying this land, your home.â
âHeâs rich, what does it matter?â Rowan pressed. âHeâll be able to do more with this place than I ever could.â
Aelin could only shake her head. Yes, Arobynn was rich. Rich enough that he could whatever he wanted, consequences be damned. She tilted her head up just in time to catch a snowflake on her cheek. The small chill was electrifying on her hot skin. Slowly, more flakes continued to fall, fat and thick it looked like the forecast had finally chosen to be right.
âI canât do this,â she finally said, âIâm going to check on the kids.â
She didnât wait for Rowan to try and call her back. She didnât realize until she was entering the goat paddock that she had wanted him to.
âŚ
It wasnât until later that night as the kids were eating that Aelin had a moment to talk with Lysandra. The snow had picked up and continued to fall throughout the afternoon driving them all inside, which after a week full of activities and being outside continually--it was a welcome break.
They were inside one of the cabins, pizza and soda spread out for the kids to enjoy. Almost everything about the day had gone well. If you didnât count the Hamel matter. The distraction and reality of what her life was spiraling towards wasnât the best way to head into individual sessions, but Aelin had learned long ago how to compartmentalize.
Now, she was able to feel a little more relaxed as she and Lysandra were able to sit back while the kids started a terrible round of UNO.
âHeâs so lucky I didnât see him,â Lysandra said around a mouthful of pizza. âI would have kicked him in the balls then dragged his ass around from the back of a tractor, you know I wouldâve.â
âI know,â Aelin assured her.
She picked at her pizza, appetite long since gone. All she could think about was the fact that sheâd seen and spoken with Hamel. And sheâd survived it. Â
It was strange, being faced with a reality you thought was finally put behind you. But that was life, wasnât it? You just kept learning the same lesson over and over again. She just wondered what she was supposed to learn this time around.
âDid he say anything to Rowan?â Lysandra asked. âDoes Rowan know anything?â
âI hope not,â Aelin said. That would just be icing on the cake. Â
Her past was a mess as it was. Rehashing it and telling her side of things after someone had already been exposed to the lies of the storyâwell it wouldnât do any good.
Still, Aelin didnât want to think that Rowan knew about what had transpired. Or if heâd think any different about her over it. Most people did when they learned the truth and even if she was mad at him, Aelin didnât think she could bear Rowan looking at her any different.
The story began back when she was sixteen. Sixteen and in the throes of series equestrian training. And she wasnât the type to show in the dressage. Aelin was a competitive rider in barrel racing, jumping, and the grittier events. Her former trainer had just moved and who was to fill the position than Arobynn Hamel.
His methods were brutal and his words were cruel. But young as she was, Aelin could only see what he could make of her. And her parents had been none the wiser either.
Even after the drugs and borderline abuse.
Aelin shook off the memories. âIt doesnât matter if Rowan knows or not, does it? He isnât going to stick around. He made that clear.â
âAre you going to stay,â Lysandra asked. Her voice was painfully soft and Aelin had a hard time meeting her friendâs eyes.
âNo. I canâtâŚI canât be around Hamel again, Lys.â Aelin set her uneaten pizza aside. âAfter everythingâŚI thought I finally had a place, you know? That this was a good fit for me. Even if Rowanâs an ass and doesnât like me. I liked the work.â
âMaybe if you talkedââ
âNo.â Aelin shook her head, cutting Lysandra off before she could even begin. âRowan wonât talk it out. Heâd just sell the place faster if it meant getting rid of me.â
Lysandra sighed. âI donât think youâre giving him enough credit.â
Aelin narrowed her eyes. âWhose side are you on?â
Lysandra didnât answer, instead waving as Elide walked through the door, leaving a blistering trail of snow outside behind her.
âI hope itâs alright to stop by,â Elide said with a smile. She grabbed a piece of pizza and settled between Aelin and Lysandra. âLorcanâs still finishing up at the stables.â
âGood,â Lysandra said, moving over so Elide had plenty of space. âWe need to talk sense into Aelin.â
âIâm not a miracle worker, you know,â Elide replied. She grinned all the same and nudged Aelinâs leg with her foot. âWhat kind of sense are we talking?â
Aelin groaned, shaking her head. One of the counselors took a few of the kids to the other cabin to prepare for bed. It was nearing that time where they would all turn in. The growing storm outside made the night feel sleepy and dark. Not that Aelin minded. Sometimes a lazy night was just what she needed, especially when she could curl up with a book.
âLysandra thinks Iâm being too hard on Rowan for deciding to sell the ranch,â Aelin told Elide, careful about how loud she spoke. She didnât want to risk upsetting the remaining kids or the other counselors.
Elideâs eyes widened at the news.
âYou canât tellââ Aelin said quickly. She shouldnât have even told Lysandra about Rowanâs plans. Even if Lorcan already knew about Rowanâs decision, it was just in bad form for Aelin to be gossiping out it.
âI wonât,â Elide assured her. âI promise.â
What Aelin had done to deserve friends like Lysandra and Elide, she didnât know. As she tugged on the end of her braid she didnât know where to begin.
âI know I donât really have a hand in this ranch or canât tell him what to do,â Aelin said, âbut Iâve put so much work into it thatâŚâ
Aelin let her words trail off. Did it really matter what sheâd done? He obviously didnât care enough to listen to her. She couldnât care. She shouldnât. Because in the end, she always came out alone.
She was going to tell her friends that she was fine and it didnât matter when the shouting started from the other cabin.
--
Back at the main house, Rowan and Aedion were settling everything in for the night. After baking four giant pizzas for the kids (delivery drivers refused to drive all the way out to the ranch and the weather had taken a bit of a chilly turn) they settled in to watch the latest football game. Â
What he didnât expect was for Aedion to strike up a conversation. Â
âYou know,â Aedion said as a commercial break started, âIâve never seen a place like this ranch before, itâs pretty remarkable what youâve done.â
Rowan really didnât know if that was true. All heâd done was come in after his grandparents and parents established everything for him. The last few years it felt like heâd barely been treading water. Until the last few months when Aelin had swept in with her binders and her plans and damned conspiratorial smile.
âI havenât done much,â Rowan replied. Mostly kept everything afloat as best he could. âItâs mostly been Aelin bringing things back to life.â
It really was an apt description of the woman. She was vibrant in the way she approached everything she did. Never did she let anything pass by that was half-hearted or untended. Rather, she made sure it was taken care of properly. It was probably what made the fall season so successful. NoâŚno probably about it, it was what made the season one of the best in several years.
âShe does tend to do that, doesn't she?â Aedion laughed. âItâs annoying as hell, because then she thinks sheâs always right. Which, I mean, technically she is always right, but she canât know that. Sheâd be insufferable if we told her.â
Rowan shook his head in agreement. Though, if he thought about it, Aelin had enough confidence that even if she were wrong about something she would make things work in the end. She had the faith and the sheer force of will to see something accomplished that an obstacle was merely a stepping stone to what she wanted.
âSo,â Rowan began, a thought occurring to him as he thought about his own understanding of Aelin. âHow do you know Aelin? I never got that story?â
That earned him an amused look from Aedion who sat up straighter.
âSheâs an Ashryver, you know,â Aedion said slowly, âas in Rhoe and Evalin Ashryver Galathyinius.â
Rowan froze at the pronouncement and slowly, painful understanding washed over him. âWhat?â
In the chair across from him, Aedion shook his head, blond hair falling in his face. Â
âDoesnât surprise me that you didnât know,â Aedion chuckled wryly. âShe doesnât use her momâs name very much, considering...But yeah. Ashryver-Galathynius. Weâre cousins, were raised together through just about anything. I was there in all of Aelinâs training when she really got into the horse scene. She was the national champion in racing and show three years in a row until the accident.â
Rowan could only stare blankly at Aedion. He didnât know how heâd missed the similarities, hell, their eyes were even the same. Why wouldnât Aelin say anything? Especially when he had given her so much crap about being a city girl. She could have shut him up without any effort.
Though, at Aedionâs mention of an accident, he remembered something vaguely happening in the world of showing and competition. That side of the horse world was something heâd never stayed completely caught up in. Especially not years ago when heâd been so busy with taking the ranch over.
âShe was nineteen, it was going to be her fourth year in a row of winning that championship,â Aedion explained, âand sheâd put herself through hell for it. She kept herself in the best shape, hardly ate. Was always training. Her trainerââ a sour look flashed over Aedionâs faceâ âher trainer wouldnât leave well enough alone and always pushed her further than anyone should go, not at that age. It was never proven, but Iâm pretty sure they slipped her drugs and the horse too because they were racing barrels which is Aelinâs best event and next thing you know the horse gets spooked and Aelin goes flying.â
Aedion paused, running a hand over his jaw as he stared into the fireplace. âItâs a miracle she wasnât paralyzed. Or worse. Arobynn never even got a slap on the wrist for it.â
Rowanâs gut churned in a sickening way. âArobynn Hamel?â
The dark look in Aedionâs eyes was answer enough.
Rowan remembered all the times in the last several months of how heâd berated Aelin for her lack of knowledge on a ranch, how she shied away from the horses. Heâd accused her of so many things that he just hadnât known about.
âShe recovered eventually,â Aedion said, âbut I donât think she was ever the same. She never got on a horse again after that. But she volunteered a lot at various stables back in Terrasen or at those camps for kids with autism, yâknow? Kinda like what you do here. And then she got her degree and has talked about applying for a doctorate. Damn. She was always going to become something.â
âI didnât know, about her past, I mean,â Rowan murmured. His fingers tightened on the drink in his hand, long forgotten in the conversation.
âItâs why she tends to drop her momâs name,â Aedion said, he shot Rowan a wry smile. âShe doesnât want that to be all people associate with her. Her parents love her, donât get me wrong, but they always put so much pressure on her. Rhoe and Evalin practically raised me too and I got the same treatment. The Ashryvers arenât known for weakness.â
If there was anything Rowan had learned in the past week, it was the truth of that sentence. Aelin was so much more than the city girl heâd first thought her to be. Everything she had done in her time on the ranch had been to help the kids and families that came through. She had worked so hard to turn this place into a functioning therapy ranch and sheâd done a damn good job at it.
And heâd gone on to sell the ranch.
Not that he really owed the explanation to anyone. Sellene was guilt-tripping him enough as it was. But heâd found the last few months to be more bearable. Somehow. Impossibly. Even with Aelin being as difficult as she was sometimes. But that was what he liked about her. She challenged him. She made plans and got things done. She was fearless.
And heâd gone on to sell the ranch.
The one place sheâd said made her feel like she was coming home.
âI need to--â Rowan began, already reaching for his phone so that he could call her.
He didnât get far though when the front door opened with a loud thud. Rowan was on his feet in an instant, for some reason thinking it would be Aelin. Instead, it was Lysandra and Elide with a very distraught Evangeline. The young girl had tears streaming down her cheeks and snow was still melting in her hair from the storm raging outside.
âWhat happened?â Rowan demanded, already sensing the trouble afoot.
Evangeline shrunk back into Lysandra, shaking slightly. Rowan doubted it was from the chill. He cursed himself for adding to the girl's distress. If he remembered correctly, Evangeline was in between foster homes as the last place was unsuitable. That scar on her cheek was fresh enough that Rowan could guess what unsuitable meant.
He softened his voice. âIs everyone alright?â
Evangeline squeaked, her hair falling in her face. Behind her, Lysandra made a soothing sound as she gently brushed Evieâs hair back. Her glare cut right into Rowan making it clear what she thought about him.
âItâs alright, sweetheart,â Lysandra said, âyouâre not in trouble. Just tell Rowan what happened.â
Evangeline sniffed loudly and nodded. âIt was Luca. He and Derek got in a fight when we were playing a game and Luca left and I told him not to butââ Evangeline forced a shuddering breath ââbut he left anyway out in the snow. So I went and got Aelin and Lysandra.â
âAelin went out looking for him,â Lysandra finished quietly. She gave Evangelineâs shoulder a tight squeeze. âBut itâs turning into a blizzard out there, I donât know how far either of them will get. We left one of the other counselors to keep an eye on the rest of the kids.â
All Rowan could register in that moment was Aelin is out in the blizzard. It took his remembering that they were all looking to him for answers for him to snap to attention. He turned to Elide.
âLorcan?â He asked.
âFinishing up in the stables,â Elide said, âheâs probably still there. And probably let her take a horse.â
Rowan doubted that. Even if Lorcan wasnât fond of Aelin, he wouldnât let her go out in this weather.
âTry calling him,â Rowan said, âsee what he knows.â
When Elide nodded and stepped away, he looked back at Evangeline who was still shaking against Lysandra.
âItâs alright, Evangeline,â he said, âyou did the right thing by letting us know what happened. Are you still cold?â
âN-no,â the girl stuttered softly.
Rowan held out a hand to her anyway. âCome have a seat by the fire, Iâve got hot chocolate in the kitchen too.â
Hesitantly, Evangeline accepted his offer. He got her settled in the chair heâd vacated and found one of the many fleece blankets Aelin had left lying around. After wrapping her up, Aedion had his phone out and played a Disney movie to distract the girl.
The adults huddled together in the kitchen while Rowan readied the promised hot chocolate.
âLorcan said that Aelin took off on one of the mares,â Elide said quietly. She still held her phone to her ear, the call with Lorcan active. âHe wants to know if he should go after her.â
âIâll come out to the stables now, have him wait for me,â Rowan replied. He pulled a freshly heated mug from the microwave and dumped in a cocoa packet. It wasnât the best but itâs do in a pinch. Besides, knowing that Aelin spent so much time up here there was bound to be whipped cream in the fridge and marshmallows in a cabinet. âIâll ride out with him.â
Lysandra took the mug from him. âThen go. Iâll finish this. I donât know about riding horses.â
Rowan looked at Aedion who shrugged.
âI mean,â the other man said, âI know how to stay on.â
âGood enough,â Rowan said. He turned to Elide next.Â
âIâll wait at the barn with blankets and flashing lights,â she said before he could get a word out. âNow let's go, the snow is only going to get worse.â
It was more than enough to kick the rest of them into action.
After finding all the spare coats, socks, and blankets they could, they piled into Rowanâs truck and made the quick trip across the drive to the stables. All Rowan could focus on was the snow.
It no longer fell in thick innocuous fluff, rather it had turned to tiny flecks of ice that could cut skin. The heavy wind didnât help anything either. The weather had quickly dissolved from mediocre to abysmal in the span of an hour. The snow was no longer sticking to the ground, instead billowing in icy white clouds all around them. Any semblance of being on an actual road was lost.
Rowan tried not to let it bother him. He tried to remind himself that Luca wouldnât get far in this weather. Aelin was an experienced riderâŚeven if she hadnât been on a horse in nearly ten years. His gut still churned in trepidation and a mild sense of panic set his heart to racing. It was fine.
They reached the barn to find the side door open and Lorcanâs outline waiting with two horses already geared up and ready. Â
Piling from the truck, Rowan threw on his coat and grabbed the thick goose down parka for when they found Luca. He wrapped a scarf around his face as best he could to protect from the wind.
Aedion had the same idea. Heâd also found a hand to pull down over his hair and ears.
âNo,â Lorcan said as soon as he saw Elideâs smaller form emerge from around the truck. âAbsolutely not. Go back to the main house.â
Had her arms not been full of blankets and spare coats, Rowan expected Elide would have flipped her boyfriend off.
âMake me.â She gave him a look that offered no room for argument and slipped into the stables.
Lorcan turned to Rowan, fury clearly written in his face.
âSheâs going to stay back and keep the lights on for when we make our way back,â Rowan told him. âSheâll be fine.â
In any other situation, Rowan was sure Lorcan would have argued further. Instead, he passed off the reins to Goldryn.
âDonât do anything stupid,â he said. He then turned to Aedion to offer the other horse. Rowan had no doubt a third was already saddled and bridled just inside the doors.
Rowan made no promises as to what sort of decisions he would be making. He merely got one foot in the stirrups and hauled himself up. Theyâd wasted enough time and he wanted to get out there and find both Aelin and Luca.
âRowan!âÂ
He turned to see Elide running towards him. She waved an object in one hand, a flashlight.
âPhones will be useless,â she explained. âAnd I canât find any walkie-talkies. Morse code, yeah?â
Smart. He accepted the light and clicked it on and off again. âThanks.â
âJust find them.â Her dark eyes were pleading but nothing else about her smaller stature betrayed any of her worry. When Rowan nodded in assurance, she turned back to the stables. Rowan tucked the flashlight into the front of his coat before finally turning towards the direction he thought Luca would have gone from the cabins.
As the wind picked up and sent another cloud of snow to wash over them, Rowan tensed for a moment before urging Goldryn on. They had some ground to cover before they made it to the cabins. But it had been at least twenty minutes since Luca had run off. Even with the terrible weather, a determined kid on the run could do a lot of damage.
âCâmon girl,â Rowan called, nudging Goldryn into a canter.
He knew this land better than anyone. And he wouldnât let anything happen to Luca or Aelin if he could help it.
âŚ
Ice cut into Aelinâs skin as she and Farasha continued through the snow. She hadnât thought to grab a scarf or face covering, hadnât thought to find a thicker coat. The best sheâd grabbed was a thin lap blanket. All sheâd heard was that Luca ran off into the storm after an argument with one of the other kids. She would have thought about strangling Luca if she werenât so worried about him.
âLuca!â she called out, wincing at the cold wind nearly choking her own voice.
She hadnât even let her own panic take over at the thought of riding again. Sheâd saddled up the large horse in record time and told Lorcan to ready two other horses for him and Rowan to come search with her. It hadnât even occurred to her that Rowan may not come, may not care as much as she did. But even if she was pissed off at him, she couldnât imagine that he would stand idly by when a kid was caught out here in the weather.
Her fingers were stiff as she gripped the reins, grateful at least for that bit of distraction. It had been ages since sheâd been on a horse and ridden. After breaking her back in a nasty fall and dealing with the repercussions from Hamel, she had sworn she would never get on another horse. She had sworn she would never return to this life. But here she was because all she wanted to do was help the kids who needed it.
She shuddered and not just from the cold.
The terrain wasnât terrible, even with the way the rolling snow covered the ground and how dark the night had gotten. Even in the last seven months Aelin had grown used to the land. Sheâd spent hours walking, running, and just enjoying the ranch. Between walks with the kids she worked with or helping with moving the small herd of goats from pasture to pastureâAelin felt like she knew the ranch as well as anyone.
Yet, as the wind continued to howl and the snow beat relentlessly against her side, Aelin had the sickening feeling she was getting lost. She fumbled for her phone and pulled up the flashlight. It hardly made a difference, in fact, the light was swallowed up almost as soon as it left the phone.
Aelin bit her lip to keep from cursing. She didnât want any more cold air in her mouth finding its way down into her lungs.
How long had she been out here? An hour? Two? How long would Luca last with just his pajamas and simple coat? Â
Beneath her, Farasha grunted. It would only be a matter of time before the horse had had enough and would insist on turning back.
With numb fingers, Aelin patted the horseâs neck. They would find Luca. They had to.
The only logical direction Luca could go from the cabins was the main house. But if he were too embarrassed or upset, he may just go in the opposite direction. But all there would be was darkness. Empty and heavy. OrâŚor maybeâŚ
Aelin thought back to the first day Luca had arrived and when sheâd showed him the old homestead. It was an old cabin that Rowanâs great-grandfather had first lived in upon buying the land. Sheâd told Luca the same story Rowan had told her: with hardly any money his great-grandparents made that tiny cabin a home until they could till the land and make a living come spring. Theyâd survived against all odds and used it as a sign of a new beginning.
Spurring Farasha on, Aelin took off for the cabin. Luca had been enthralled by the story, asking question after question, he even asked to visit the cabin a second and third time. Â
Okay, okay, okay. It was the only thing Aelin could think that wouldnât send her into a different sort of plummeting thoughts. Â
Even as the icy wind and sharp snow continued their assault, she told herself that everything was okay.
Aelin was beginning to lose hope, letting the soul wrenching feel of dread rise up within her. It had been too long. There was no sign of the cabin nor of Luca. Â
This was her fault. It was all her fault.
A flicker in the distance caught her attention. A shadow mingling with the already thickly cloying shadows and manipulations of the storm.
âLuca!â Aelin yelled. As Farasha continued diligently on, the small old cabin came into view and there, trekking towards it was a small hunkered shape. âLuca!â
The shape stopped and Aelin heard a voice in the wind. Hope rose within her, beating against the dread and panic.
âHold on!â Sensing her urgency, Farasha pressed on, though Aelin could tell it was with reluctance. Â
It took several agonizing minutes to move the few yards closer to the cabin but they made it. And there, trying desperately to reach the old cabin was Luca.
Aelin let out a string of curses as she slid off of Farasha. She gripped the lap blanket in one hand, keeping it close as she ran to Luca. The boy couldnât reach out to her, his arms wrapped tight around him. His coat was too thin for this weather, his old boots unlaced. Aelin swore his skin was blue, not just his lips.
âA-a-aelin?â he stuttered, the sound of her name was too soft from his mouth.
Aelin threw the blanket around him. She pulled him against her and wrapped her arms around his middle as she tried to rub warmth into his limbs.
âWhat were you thinking?â she asked, unable to curb her own panic. âLuca. Luca. Luca.â
The boy trembled against her. He was trying to talk, to apologize, but Aelin kept him tugged against him so tight his words were muffled.
Ice stung Aelinâs eyes as she pulled away and knelt before him.
âAre you okay?â she asked, speaking over the sound of the wind.
He nodded even as his body still shook. Hell. Â
Aelin drew Luca back against her side. âItâs going to be fine. Iâve got Farasha and weâre going to get back to the house. Everythingâs fine.â
She wasted no time in leading Luca to the horse. She boosted him up into the saddle, helping him scoot as far up as he could.�� Aelin braced herself as she scrambled up on the horse behind him. The motion wasnât as smooth as it could have been. Combined with lack of practice, cold, and, admittedly, fear, Aelin didnât let it bother her.
Once settled, she pulled Luca against her chest and reached for the reins.
âWeâre alright,â she told him. What else could she say? âWeâre going to go back to the house and get you warmed up.â
âI-Iâm sorry,â Luca chattered. âI knew I shouldnât have left.â
Aelin shushed him gently. âItâs okay. Everythingâs okay.â
Luca trembled against her chest but fell quiet as he tucked his face into the blanket, sheâd given him. The wind had picked up and snow swirled around them. Aelin squinted, trying to keep ice from pricking her eyes. It only made tears start to well and track down her cheeks. In a matter of seconds, she could feel her skin freeze. Aelin dared not blink for fear of her eyes freezing shut. Instead, she tapped her heels against Farashaâs side.
Even with the added load of Luca, the horse surged forward. Aelin had no idea if they were headed in the right direction. All she could do was hope that the horse had a better sense of where they were than she. But with how dark the night had fallen and the increased snowfall, Aelin couldnât help the panic welling within her. She had found Luca, sure, but that was only half the problem. Â
Now they had to trek back through the storm to the stables. Aelin guided Farasha as best she could, but the sheets of snow that swirled around them certainly didnât help.
To ease her own worry, she wrapped an arm around Luca, keeping him close. He was still conscious, which was good. She tried asking him questions to make sure he stayed that way but after a few rounds of feeling like her throat was freezing and Lucaâs continued shudders--she stopped. Â
Come on, she thought to herself. She was strong enough to do this. Strong enough to get Luca back safely. Even if no one else thought much of her--she could see this through.
And then what? Sheâd be out of a job. Likely forced to move back to the city and she didnât want that. She didnât want to stay here either if what Rowan said was true.
If Arobynn Hamel took over the ranch Aelin knew she couldnât stay. Hamel was cruel to say the least. Vindictive, arrogant, abusive. He had pushed Aelin beyond her limits and was the reason her life had changed forever.
She wanted to hate Rowan for what he had planned. But how could he have known? She never talked about her past as it was. It wasnât even any of his business if she did leave.
Damn him. Damn him for giving up on this place in the first place. And damn him for making her think that she almost had a home here.
A shiver rolled through Aelinâs body. How could she still feel the cold? Everything was numb at this point. She didnât even know how she could remain upright in the saddle, let alone hold the reins. But the cold had settled in so deep that it was simply an extension of who she was now.
They passed by a fence post that Aelin didnât recognize. Or did she? Was it the one along the easter paddock? That meant they were near the stables right? Â
The top of the post only had a thin layer of snow on top, the barbed wire extending along to the next post already had icicles forming.
As if sensing her unease, Farasha moved a little faster. But, really, there wasnât much the horse could do. Not in these conditions.
Aelin tilted her face up to the sky, as though that would do anything. All she could see was the mass of snow and ice continuing to fall. The gray sky overhead a mass of terror and pure power. Never had she felt so insignificant until that moment. She was a small speck in comparison to the universe overhead. Â
She dropped her head again and stared forward, willing herself to see some chance of hope.
There was nothing. Nothing but white. Nothing but gray. Nothing but--
A flash of light.
Aelin straightened in the saddle and stared at where sheâd seen the flash. She hadnât imagined it. She couldnât have.
There it was again!
A quick flash followed by a longer one. The flashes continued in somewhat the same manner, like morse code. Â
Aelinâs fingers were too stiff to try for her phone. She would have dropped it before managing to get it unlocked. All she could do was guide Farasha towards the light. Aelin had never learned morse code beyond SOS. But sheâd been out on this land plenty of times and she knew there werenât any strange flashing lights around. And these flashes seemed too deliberate in any case.
It was the only reassurance she could hold on to. That and keeping Luca in one arm.
Another few minutes passed on until Aelin could hear a voice on the wind. She didnât register it at first, but it was familiar. The shout came again; long and steady.
âLuca! Aelin!â Their names were drawn out into multiple syllables but it was someone shouting for them.
Not just someone. Aelin would have recognized that voice anywhere.
The flashlight beam grew stronger the closer they got and Aelin could soon make out a shape sitting astride a horse. Â
âRowan,â she whispered, more to herself than anything. Because who else could it be. âRowan!â
It was only a minute later that had Goldryn loping toward them with Rowan. He still had the flashlight in one hand, beaming brightly against the night.
âAelin!â he yelled. He drew in close, close enough to grab her shoulder.
The flashlight helped illuminate him enough that Aelin could see the taut lines of his face, his eyes wide in panic. The scarf around his lower face had fallen away and snow was building up in the creases. But it was him. He was here, staring at her like she was the greatest damn thing heâd ever seen.
âWeâre fine,â she said, loud over the storm. âBut we need to get Luca warmed up.â
Rowan dropped his gaze to the boy who was still pressed against Aelinâs chest.
âLet's go,â he said, âitâs not that far.â
Aelin could only nod as he turned Goldryn and led the way to the stables. Farasha, blessedly brilliant beast that she was, followed without any prompting. Â
The tightness in Aelinâs chest loosened with each step made. They had made it. It really was going to be alright.
Quicker than Aelin realized, the stables came into view. Bright light from the floodlights broke through the storm and she could see the doors were cracked open just a bit. Two other horses were by the doors being tended to. It took Aelin several moments to realize it was Lorcan and Aedion waiting there. They soon disappeared into the barn, taking the two horses with them. Â
When Rowan and Aelin reached the stable doors, both men had returned. Lorcan wasted not time in coming to Aelinâs side. He grabbed Luca from the saddle, hauling the boy into his arms and taking him inside. Aelin could only stare after. She had no idea if she could move, let alone blink.
It wasnât until Rowan appeared in her line of sight that she did blink, miraculously without frozen eyes. She had no idea when heâd gotten off his horse but here he was right beside her. He reached out, one hand going to her side as he gently tugged her off of Farasha.
She fell into him. It was an accident, really. But her body was still numb and she might have been in shock, but she went tumbling off of the saddle in as inelegant a dismount as could be imagined. Rowanâs arms stayed around her, keeping them both upright.
âI got you,â he murmured into her ear. He kept a firm hold on her as she slowly regained her balance.
Somehow, he still had warmth to share. As he kept her tight in his grasp, Aelin could practically feel her own body leeching it off of him. She was desperate to feel anything other than the raging cold threatening to freeze her entire body. Â
Lorcan appeared in another minute and helped with Farasha, Aedion took control of Goldryn.
Rowan led Aelin into the stables that were already infinitely warmer than the storm outside. There seated on a few bales of hay was Elide, well at work with getting Luca wrapped in a fresh blanket and tugging a hat over his head.
âYouâre half frozen,â Rowan said. He kept walking Aelin away from the opened doors of the stables. âWhat the hell were you thinking?â
Aelin could only stare at him. Â
The familiar scowl was in place and his brow was furrowed as he worked to get her out of her wet coat. A thin and useless coat, he pointed out. He replaced it by draping a thicker one over her shoulders, holding it in place when she didnât take it herself.
All she could do was stare at him. He had come for her. He had gone out into that storm and came to find her. Luca too. But with the way he was staring at her and brushing the messy strands of hair from her face--all Aelin could really process was that he was here for her.
âYouâre fussing,â she managed to whisper.
âOf course Iâm fussing,â he said, incredulity spreading across his face. âAelin, youâre freezing.â
Of course she was. Sheâd spent the better part of an hour (more?) searching through a blizzard on a horse looking for Luca. Her entire body shook with cold and a mild panic of what sheâd just accomplished.
Rowan tugged the coat tighter around her as he kept talking. But Aelin couldnât hear what he was going on about. A shrill ringing started in her ears blocking almost everything else out. And then the shivers wouldnât stop. Her entire body was shaking and it was all she could do to stay on her own two feet before she pitched forward straight into Rowan, vision going black.
âŚ
When Aelin woke, she found herself surrounded by a thick warmth that engulfed her. It was far welcome from the dreams of freezing snow and wind that sheâd had all night. Grateful for the thick blankets tucked all around her, Aelin snuggled in deeper, breathing in a familiar scent of pine.
Her eyes snapped open with sudden awareness.
She wasnât in her own bed. Â
Pain lanced through her head as she tried sitting up. The sheer weight of the blankets piled on top of her was enough to keep her down though, for at least a minute longer.
What the hell had happened? Her body ached as though sheâd run a marathon and she was certain her toes were frozen solid andâ
And there had been the blizzard. And Luca. And sheâd gotten on a horse and rose out into a blizzard to find him.
That thought alone spurred her on. She shoved the thick quilts aside, pausing only at the patchwork of the top blanket that was a blend of greens and silvers in a pattern she couldnât quite make out, but it was handmade. She could tell that much.
Aelin then realized that she was in Rowanâs room. If not for the scent of pine and the obvious splashes of green throughout the decoration, then the picture on the bedside table. It was of a boy no more than ten with a shock of silver hair standing on a dock that overlooked a lake. In one hand he held up a fishing line with a giant fish dangling from the hook. Beside him was an older man, his father, who had a proud grin on his face as he wrapped an arm around the boy. And there was another picture of a woman with tan skin and brilliant green eyes smiling down at a bundled baby in her arms.
She was in Rowanâs room.
The thought shocked her enough that she remained seated on the edge of the bed right up until the door opened. Mind still reeling, Aelin could only watch as Rowan himself slowly stepped into the room.
He stopped immediately upon seeing her awake and sitting up. Dressed in his usual attire of jeans and flannel she almost would have guessed she hadnât been asleep that long. If it hadnât been for his disheveled hair or the stubble on his chin and cheeks.
âYou should be asleep,â Rowan said. He held a cup of water in one hand and slowly walked it over to her, setting it on the bedside table sheâd just been examining.
âI was,â Aelin replied, even with the short words her voice rasped with disuse and exhaustion.Â
Rowan who now stood just before her, his knees brushing hers, reached out and brushed a few messy strands of hair from her face. His fingers were warm against her skin and the calluses rough as they scraped gently along her cheek. The expression in his eyes held something Aelin wasnât sure how to read. Sheâd thought sheâd gotten decent enough at interpreting Rowan that it unsettled her just a bit. Â
Instead of the depthless sea of green she was so accustomed to, he was now guarded and hesitant. Compared to his usual assurance and confidence--Aelin was at a loss of what to say.
âDrink this,â Rowan said, filling the silence. He pushed the glass of water into her hands along with a few pain pills and the granola bar. âAnd eat. The pills will settle better with something in your stomach.â
Aelin set the items aside. âIâm fine.â
âAelin.â
The warning in his voice had Aelinâs hackles rising. She set her jaw and glared right back at him.
âIâm fine.âÂ
They stared at each other, neither budging. And they could sit there all day for all Aelin was concerned. She wasnât sure how long sheâd been asleep or of any of the other details of her passing out, but she did know she was still pissed Rowan and she would hold out for as long as--
âPlease,â Rowan said, voice uncharacteristically soft, âjust eat something.â
The breath stilled in Aelinâs lungs. When had she ever heard him say please? It was such a strange word coming from him that Aelin automatically reached for the granola bar and unwrapped it. She took a few bites before swallowing the pain pills with some of the water.
âHappy?â she asked, placing the water back on the bedside table.
Rowan, as expected, remained silent. When he turned aways from her, Aelin thought he was going to give her some peace and quiet, but he was only putting a little distance between them. Which was probably for the best considering Aelin was having a difficult time breathing normally when he was so close. She would blame it on nearly getting hypothermia. That was it.
âDo you have any idea how stupid it was for you to go out like you did?â he demanded. Heâd stepped back closer to the window, pale light filtering through the thin curtains to illuminate him enough that Aelin could better see the outlines of his face and the stiff way he held himself.
âI was trying to find Luca,â she said, crossing her arms over her chest. âWhat was I supposed to do?â
âGet help,â Rowan said, âit was a blizzard Aelin, what if something had happened?â
âExactly.â She rose to her feet, blinking back the fuzzy blackness along the edge of her vision. She wasnât going to let him berate her. âI couldnât let something happen to Luca. He was my responsibility. Itâs a miracle I found him at all.â
Aelin waited expectantly for him to say something else. To continue to tell her how stupid she was, how upset he was. That sheâd made mistake after mistake.
But he didnât.
Rowan stood before her, hands on his hips and lips pressed tight together. Silent.
âI wasnât going to leave him,â Aelin said, and she was shocked to find emotion beginning to clog her throat. âI couldnât.â
And then Rowan did the absolute last thing she expected. He hugged her.
One moment he was two feet away looking as mad as sheâd ever seen him, the next he was pulling her into a bone crushing hug. His arms wound around her, one hand buried in her hair to keep her close. It took Aelin a few seconds to reorient herself but she carefully returned the hug.
Several different questions and emotions swam through Aelinâs head. Most of which dealt with the variety that Rowan was actually displaying affection of one sort or another. He wasnât a stone wall of silence in that moment but someone who cared. At least, that was how she chose to interpret this display.
âItâs alright,â she found herself murmuring. âEverythingâs fine.â
She realized belatedly that the anger sheâd felt rolling off of him was actually fear. That heâd been scared for her. She marveled at it really, that Rowan Whitethorn would be worried about her. Â
Aelin gently eased back, just enough that she could look at him with a bit more clarity. Her entire body was still brimming with exhaustion, she could feel her own tiredness thudding through her bones with every beat of her heart. It was only a small, dull ache though in comparison with the unyielding depths of Rowanâs dark eyes.
She didnât go far though. The warmth radiating off of him was welcome, feeling almost as though she were back in bed and wrapped in the many blankets. Being so close to him was strange, different. Sheâd never allowed herself to get so close to him before that now, being held by him--she couldnât remember the last time sheâd felt so safe and secure.
âSorry,â Rowan said, though he didnât release her entirely as one hand trailed softly along her side.
Not knowing how to navigate any of this--Aelin avoided a direct response.
âHowâs Luca?â she asked.
âFine,â Rowan said, âhe woke up twenty minutes ago and is perfectly fine.â
âGood,â she said, genuine relief flooding her. âThatâs good.â
âWe had him and Evangeline stay in the house, Evie stayed in your room,â Rowan went on to explain. âBecause the weather was so bad, Lorcan and Elide stayed the night too. Theyâre with the rest of the kids down at the cabins.â
âRowan, I,â Aelin began, knowing that she did at least owe him a little of an apology. In part for her recklessness (though they would both know she wasnât really sorry) and for the way she acted after learning about Hamel.Â
âDonât,â he said, quick to cut her off. His fingers dug into her sides grounding her right where they stood. âYou donât need to say anything.â
âIâm sorry,â she said anyways, he gave her an exasperated sort of look that made her smile. âNot about Luca, I stand by going after him, but Hamel. Thereâs more to that than Iâve told anyone.â
Rowan cleared his throat, eyes flicking away for a brief moment before resettling on her. âAedion might have told me a little about that. And aboutâŚâ
He trailed off when Aelin turned away. She didnât know why she did, why she wanted to ignore her past and lock it back up again where no one, not even she, could find it. But she did. Because she knew how it sounded, how it looked. The spoiled rich girl from the good background with everything at her beck and call falls into a mess of drug use. Even if she hadnât known about it.
When the backs of her knees hit the bed, Aelin collapsed onto the mattress. She was exhausted anyways and really just wanted to sink back into the blankets and fall asleep. Maybe pretend none of this had ever happened.
âI ended the deal with Hamel,â Rowan said. âLiterally just got off the phone with him to tell him I wasnât selling anymore.â
Aelin felt her jaw fall open as she stared up at him. âYou what?â
If there was anything he could have said to shock her, that was it.
âIâm not selling,â Rowan repeated. He looked as serious as he ever did, not a fleck of emotion on his face. It was a strange beauty he held, Aelin thought at that moment. The hard planes of his face, his sharp jawline, and the full curve of his lipsâall of it combined together in such a way that nearly stole her breath away.
âWhy not?â she whispered. âNot to him or not at all?â
He swallowed, throat bobbing. Aelin thought it curious, why would he care about this so much to end the deal that, as heâd said, would bring in a great deal of money? And why would he care enough to not want to talk about it further?
âNo deal at all,â Rowan said, âmy attorneyâs processing a formal citation for it now.â
âWhy?â she asked again. Why did she care so much? Was it her own love for this ranch that has somehow developed over these brief few months? Was it no more than the desire to know that Hamel was getting screwed over?Â
This time when he came towards her, Aelin didnât move. She only watched as he slowly drew closer until once again, his knees knocked against hers. He hovered over her, his broad frame blocking out the light from the window. But he wasnât imposing, wasnât a cruel thing engulfing her. It was just Rowan.
âI couldnât do that to you,â he said. The admission sent shivers running along her arms, racing down her spine. âNot after, everything.â
âEverything,â Aelin repeated, trying hard to ignore the way her heart was hammering in her chest and how her stomach dipped at the low timbre of his voice. âIt was the binder, wasnât it?â
She couldnât help the teasing words. The binder that had outlined this week of kids coming to the ranch had included a brief plan of continued action to take on seeing more progress made for various revenue opportunities for the ranch. Really, Aelin hadnât expected Rowan would read much into it.
Rowan snorted a soft laugh, head tilting up as though he were looking to the heavens for help.
âYeah, I guess that was it.â His words werenât convincing. Not even in the slightest. Especially not when Aelin saw that small spark in his eyes, the way he was so close yet still so far. And Aelin, despite everything that had happened, wanted him closer. Rowan, she knew, was too chivalrous and wouldnât do anything to push her over whatever line they were toeing.
She reached up, fingers grazing the hem of his shirt, the fabric soft against her skin. Â
âI told you it wasââ Aelin never had the chance to finish teasing him further when he swept in to kiss her.
It was a soft brush of his lips against hers, barely anything at all. And still it made her breath catch, caused goosebumps to race over her skin. She arched into him, eagerly seeking out of his touch. She couldnât remember the last time someone had made her feel so wild in her own skin.
Rowan cupped her cheek with one hand as he drew her closer. The deepening kiss nearly drowned her. He paused only once, hovering before her in a silent question. Aelin responded by fisting her fingers in his shirt and dragging him to her. His lips turned insistent against hers, drawing a small sound from her throat.
In all her time at the ranch, Aelin had never known Rowan to be so gentle or careful. But the way he treated her as though she were something to be cherished, something to be lovedâit had her heart seizing in her throat. Â
She wanted more, needed more, and given the way Rowanâs hands ran through her hair and down her sides she knew he did too.
Which, of course, was when a soft knock came at the bedroom door.
âAelin?â It was Lysandra come to check on her.
She and Rowan broke apart, putting just enough distance between them. There was no guilt or regret in Rowanâs eyes, rather a promise just for her.
Aelin straightened, adjusting her mussed shirt. âCome in.â She reached for the half-eaten granola bar and started to finish it off, just so she could have something to do with her hands and maybe detract from what she and Rowan had been up to.
The look on Lysandraâs face said she wasnât convinced. She raised a brow, fixing her look solely on Rowan before turning to Aelin.
âI told him not to bother you,â she said.
âI was already awake,â Aelin said honestly. Â
Lysandra hummed, her mouth curving into a smirk. âSure. Well, thereâs a real breakfast downstairs. And Luca wants to thank-you in person for finding him.â
âThanks, Lys,â Aelin said.
Her friend waited a moment longer before turning to leave. She left the door open behind her.
Aelin waited until Lysandra disappeared down the stairs before she rose to her feet. She was tired and still a bit achy but she knew that if she and Rowan remained up here any longer it would only result in an embarrassing call out. That or Aedion would be sent to collect them. And for her cousin's health and Rowanâs own sanity, Aelin thought it best not to avoid the inevitable.
Automatically, she reached out for Rowan and took her hand in his. She laced their fingers together and gave him a small squeeze.
âI never did thank-you,â she said, stepping closer to him, willing to snatch just one more moment.
Rowan arched a brow. âFor what?â
âYou came to find me,â she said, âeven after everything.â
His face softened and Rowan brought their clasped hands up between them, brushing his lips across her knuckles.
âIâll always come if you need me,â he promised.
Aelin smiled, unable to help it. For the first time in ages, she felt a small bit of joy begin to kindle deep in her chest. Where once it might have scared her, now it was a welcome feeling, one that she would keep close deep within her.
âCâmon, buzzard, before she sends Aedion up to get us.â She tugged him to the door with her so they could join the fray awaiting downstairs for them.
And over the next few days, Aelin wouldnât know what the future would bring. She didnât know if anything would happen between her and Rowan or if this was some strange moment shared together. She didnât even know what would happen with her career.
What she did know was that she wanted to fight for it, whatever may come.
âŚ
EpilogueâSix Months Later
It was the howling of a dog that woke him at six in the morning, not his usual alarm. At first, Rowan was keen to ignore it and instead try to fall back asleep. But the dog howled again, mostly out of need for attention than anything else. He rolled over in bed, one arm reaching out to the warm body beside him.
âYour child is calling,â he grumbled.
Aelin cursed from where she was tangled in the blankets. âYouâre the one that bought her.â
Indeed, Rowan had purchased the dog that let out another howl outside. Heâd figured if he were going to keep the ranch, they should have a dog. What he hadnât planned on was the little demon to end up being almost exactly like Aelin. He should have known.
Snorting a laugh, Rowan tugged her closer, ignoring the way Aelinâs blonde hair was splayed out messily, nearly engulfing him. He wrapped a hand around her waist, keeping her close. She was soft against him; curves and angles fitting perfectly with him. No matter how many times they woke like this, he didnât think heâd ever get used to it.
Aelin rolled over in his arms so they were face to face and she could hook her leg over his hip. Already she had one hand buried in his hair as she settled down again. Rowan cracked an eye open to watch her.
Eyes closed and a look of contentment on her soft features, Aelin still remained the most beautiful woman heâd ever seen. The nightgown she wore was a poor excuse for covering. The thin straps had fallen down her shoulders and left her chest almost perfectly exposed. The hemline rode up far along her thighs. And he was well aware she wasnât wearing underwear beneath. Â
He had no idea how theyâd come to this pointâno idea how heâd managed to not screw things up beyond measure. Given the way theyâd startedâthey by all means should still hate each other. But here they were, tangled together in a mess of limbs.
He realized too late that sheâd opened her eyes.
âStaring?â she asked.
âAlways.â
Aelin grinned in that delightfully bright way she did. It was enough to strike any man dumb. Taking advantage of his distraction, Aelin swooped in for a quick kiss.
âIâll take care of the dog if you make me pancakes,â she said, already climbing out of bed.
Rowan, however, had another idea. He snatched a hand out, catching her wrist to pull her back down on the bed. Aelin yelped in surprise, nearly falling on top of him. She caught herself though, one hand braced on the mattress next to him. Golden hair fell around them as a curtain, a tangled, messy curtain.
Leaning up, Rowan caught her mouth in another kiss. This one far more than a simple peck. Aelin sighed against him as one hand trailed along his bare chest, her fingers working in soft caresses at his side.
As he deepened the kiss, Rowan sat up and wrapped an arm around Aelin. He pulled her fully into his lap, fully intending to have a proper morning together when the alarm clock finally went of and that damned dog started another round of howls from outside. Groaning, Rowan tried keeping her close for just a moment longer.
âSorry cowboy,â Aelin said breathlessly as she pulled back. âOur child is calling. And youâre going to be late.â
She brushed her fingers through with a fond smile before getting out of bed. This time Rowan let her go, though he wasnât happy about it. Â
Aelin threw on a pair of shorts and a sweatshirt before she ran downstairs, calling for Fleetfoot the entire way.
In the six months since the blizzard that brought them together, many things had changed. Normally Rowan would have shied away from it all. Change never meant anything good. It meant things would be different, that there was a new reality set forth before him. And, always one to stay the course, heâd never pursued much beyond what he already knew.
But he supposed the change Aelin wrought within him was just what he needed. And not just in keeping the family ranch. But she made him want to be different, to be better.
After he changed, Rowan headed downstairs. Aelin was outside with Fleetfoot, the golden lab that was supposed to be a herd dog but much preferred human company than goats. He watched them through the kitchen window as Aelin threw a ball for Fleetfoot to chase. Â
The golden sun already illuminated the sky setting everything alight. Spring came swiftly and full of new opportunities. And for once, Rowan didnât dread it.
Even though he was running behind, Lorcan would kick his ass for it, Rowan whipped up a batch of pancakes and already had a few on the griddle by the time Aelin and Fleetfoot scampered back inside.
Fleetfoot pranced around happily and dashed into the kitchen to make sure Rowan knew she was there.
âYeah, yeah,â Rowan said as the dog rubbed against one of his legs. âGo ask your momma for treats.â
Aelin instead fixed Fleetfootâs food dish with the allotted portion of kibble. Though, Rowan knew the dog would get at least one treat before the hour was out.
While Fleetfoot attacked her breakfast, Aelin came and wrapped her arms around Rowanâs middle. She pressed her forehead into his back and sighed as she rested against him.
âYou didnât have to make pancakes,â she told him quietly.
Rowan flipped the few that were on the griddle before turning to accept a full hug. He brushed the escaping bits of hair that flew from her bun out of the way and shrugged.
âI wanted to.â Â
âHmm,â Aelin hummed and pressed up onto her toes to kiss him. Chaste and sweet, the kiss still held a lingering promise of what exactly she wanted to do to him. âWell, thank-you. But you should go. Lorcanâs going to be pissy enough as it is.â
âYes dear,â Rowan said.
He let Aelin take control over the pancakes and grabbed a protein bar from the fridge before heading out for the day. He paused when he reached the door looking back at Aelin as she pulled the batch of pancakes from the heat.
âI love you,â he said.
She looked up, blue eyes dazzling with her smile. âLove you, buzzard.â
The door closed softly behind him as he hurried down the porch to his waiting truck. Beside it was the SUV Lysandra and Aedion had left behind, taking Aelin Audi with them once the snow let up. The chrome silver was spattered with mud and dust looking as though it perfectly belonged where it was. The sight brought a small smile to him.
His truck rumbled down the road to the stables where they would already be preparing for the first spring camp of the season. They were expecting fifteen kids in total with another week planned for the wait-listers that hadnât gotten in the first time. Â
The day after the blizzard, Rowan officially terminated any agreement with Hamel that had been talked about, just as heâd promised Aelin he would. Theyâd faced some backlash, but it was remarkable just what a few loyal names could do to help make things right. Though, Aelinâs own determination in not letting the man have any more control over her said enough.
Now she worked in town at the singular therapy office, providing help to those who wanted. When she wasnât there, she was at the ranch helping him and continuing to plan and host events for more kids and individuals seeking help and comfort for their traumas and other mental health concerns. Just like sheâd always wanted.
Rowan drove past the wide-open field of the ranch his family had called home for over a hundred years. And when he glanced in the rearview mirror at the ranch house fading into view behind him, he hoped that it would remain that way for a few more generations after.
.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.
<3 reblogs appreciated.
#rowaelin#aelin galathynius#rowan whitethorn#aelin x rowan#throne of glass#fanfiction#tog#throne of glass fanfiction
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Maeve is Theia, the original Starborn Queen.
This theory contains spoilers for ACOTAR, Crescent City, and Throne of Glass!
As discovered in CC2, Ruhn and Rhys look identical. If they are not reincarnations of each other (still a plausible theory), then they must share a common ancestor. As most people have already deduced, logically, this must be Queen Theia; the first Starborn Queen, and ruler of the Dusk Court.
It then begs the question; "well, who actually was Queen Theia?"
I truly believe that there is only one candidate for this; Maeve, from the Throne of Glass (TOG) world. Here is a summation of the evidence for this:
Maeve, Ruhn and Rhys are the only 3 characters who have the "violet" or "violet blue" eyes. (Some argue that this is irrelevant as Maeve could change her form, but so could Erawan, and his gold eyes were passed onto Manon).
They all have the same "raven black hair."
Maeve, Ruhn and Rhys have the same darkness/shadow power.
They also all have the rare mind-speaking (or "daemati") power; an ability we first saw originate in Maeve and the other Valg Royalty.
Even Ruhn's name is (seemingly) derived from the Ruhnn mountains; the place in TOG where Maeve kept her handmaidens (and I suspect where Maeve walked between worlds).
Rhys is Lord of the Night Court; Ruhn is Agent Night; and Maeve is Queen of the Night.
With this many uncanny similarities between all three people, it makes the most sense that Ruhn and Rhys descended from Maeve, and that ultimately, Maeve is Queen Theia.
Queen of Glass.
I first suspected that Maeve may be Queen Theia when reading the Original Throne of Glass book, 'Queen of Glass,' that SJM published on a fan fiction website when she was younger.
This is how Maeve was originally described; does it not sound like a Starborn Queen (and also... exactly like Rhys)?
See also:
And:
Even the iconic way that Rhys's eyes are described (as having stars inside of them), is akin to how Maeve's eyes were originally described:
Additionally, in this original version of TOG, Maeve was engaged to Athril (which is similar to the events of the published TOG). However, Athril was said to be the first Fae to ever exist, and the greatest warrior in history.
When the Valg broke into their world, Athril forged Goldryn (and 3 other weapons). It was a death sword that was capable of slaying the Valg, and emitted a bright "white light." Sound familiar?
Athril then fought on the the peak of a mountain "archway," in an attempt to stop the Valg from entering his world. Although he was successful in destroying the Valg, he was killed - right on the mountaintop. After that, the cities were formed and a period of peace ensued.
This sounds EXACTLY like the story of Fionn that Rhys detailed in ACOSF (the mighty "fae warrior" who used Gwydion to overthrow the Daglan), AS WELL as Enalius (the first Illyrian who fought an "unknown enemy" on the top of Ramiel, and died there).
What's more, is that after Athril died, Maeve closed the gates and all rips between all worlds.
This is EXACTLY what Queen Theia did.
Proof in the published version.
Although 'Queen of Glass' is not officially canon, it gives us important clues regarding SJM's line of thinking.
However, there is still evidence in the actual TOG that points to Maeve as being Queen Theia. Most prominently, Maeve states that in her "original world," she came from a "small territory" where she was made Queen.
This sounds just like Theia and the Dusk Court.
It is also explicitly stated that this "small territory" that Maeve ruled was a place where powers were not given, but "simply born" (as if... starBORN?)
Further, Erawan also suggested that Yrene's power (which is almost 100% certainly the Starborn power) existed in his home world. Interestingly, he refers to wielders of this power as "death maidens," which sounds an awful lot like Nesta's power (and perhaps explains why she has the Starborn tattoo...)
Maeve in mythology.
In some strains of Celtic mythology (which appears to greatly influence the ACOTAR world), Queen Maeve was seen as the chief and deity of the Tuatha dĂŠ Danaan. Is it then any coincidence that Ruhn's (and possibly Rhys's) last name is Danaan?
In the same mythology, Maeve had 7 sons.
Just like the 7 High Lords.
Or the 7 Princes of Hel.
Or the 7 Asteri.
Maeve's power.
A pitfall of this theory is that Maeve's power (as far as we saw in TOG) did not manifest as light. But, are we sure we know the whole story of the Starborn? It is mentioned multiple times in CC2 that Bryce has not fully understood what her power is capable of. Similarly, Rigelus seems to hint that Bryce can walk between worlds simply because she is Starborn, and Maeve was a world-walker.
And perhaps more curiously, most people in the Starborn lineage (ie. the Avallen people) actually have shadow/darkness powers - just like Maeve did.
Aidas.
For this theory to be correct, it also suggests that Maeve was involved with Aidas.
Yet, as per another theory I have posted, I have already theorised that the Princes of Hel are actually the Valg.
Aidas is also a play on the name "Hades," and Hades is another name for Orcus - Maeve's original husband. This checks out.
Prythian.
As Theia and the Starborn likely originated from Prythian, there must also be evidence of Maeve's existence there.
It is then not surprising that many have already theorised that Maeve (and subsequently Queen Theia) is "the Mother" in the ACOTAR world.
Maeve is the only character we have seen with the ability to manipulate fate (and assign 'mating bonds' to people); just as the Mother does. Even in Celtic mythology, Maeve is another name for Mother.
Then, by extension, the Valg (or Princes of Hel) must also have existed in Prythian for this theory to be true. Interestingly, in the Crescent City audiobooks, all of the Princes of Hel have distinct British accents.
Is it then a mere coincidence that Prythian is in the shape of Britain, and similarly, Prythian is an ancient name for Britain?
(Map courtesy of Cassiopeia Reads).
Further:
Thanatos (a Prince of Hel) is also seen in the Hewn City.
The 7 layers of the library are reminiscent of the 7 layers of Hel (with many musing as to whether the 'cat like' presence is Aidas).
And, when Bryce says she is going to Hel, she lands in Prythian.
Timeline.
Alternatively, for Maeve to have been Queen Theia, she must have also existed 15,000 years ago. This suggests that Throne of Glass is a story that takes place in the PAST.
Linking with this idea, I theorise that the ACOTAR and TOG characters actually shared the same world (with the TOG characters existing many thousands of years ago). In fact, the notion of ACOTAR and TOG characters sharing the same world is something that Rigelus straight up suggests is true:
It also links in with Merrill's theory about the universe; that different worlds share the same space, but are separated by TIME.
This would explain why Rhys suggested that the old fae, 15,000 years ago, were more "elemental," and would imbue their swords with their magic.
Just as Aelin and the TOG fae did.
It would also explain why the Night Court and Terrasen (both in the North) are so similar.
Velaris is also exactly how Rowan described the future city that Aelin would rebuild.
What's more, is that Velaris smells like "lemon verbena," which is Aelin's scent.
This may all seem impossible if you believe the timelines to be concurrent - but, what if they're not?
What if, when Aelin fell through worlds, she fell forward in time? The Harp even mused that when it was last played, it transported the user through "TIME and space," and through the "eons."
ACOTAR last names.
If this is all true, perhaps it offers an explanation as to why the last names of most ACOTAR characters have been hidden. That the big reveal is that they all descend from TOG characters.
For example, the Winter Court would descend from the Whitethorns; with their wind/ice power, and signature white/silver hair.
The Spring Court (and Tamlin's lineage) would descend from Lysandra (with her shapeshifting abilities), and Aedion.
I mean, the resemblance is rather uncanny.
Even the Dawn Court, the place of healing, with their parallels to Yrene and Silba's descendants (even their book being called Tower of DAWN...).
Ultimately, the connections and possibilities are endless.
Yet, no matter what, I theorise that the person at the centre of everything, across all worlds, is Maeve.
Or, otherwise known as Queen Theia.
#sjm crossover#sjm multiverse#sjm theory#sjm spoilers#acotar theory#acotar#throne of glass#crescent city#crescent city theory#rhys acotar#ruhn danaan#aelin galathynius#nesta archeron
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Swords đĄ Throne Of Glass
Artist: artoffrostandflame
#artoffrostandflame#swords#damaris#wind cleaver#goldryn#sword of orynth#nothung#tog art#assassins blade#sjm fanart#book art#sjm#sjmaas#tog#sjm books#fanart#throne of glass#crown of midnight#heir of fire#queen of shadows#empire of storms#tower of dawn#kingdom of ash#the assassin's blade#sarah j maas#sjm universe
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For the life of me why do I always confuse Gavriel with Goldrynđ
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Aelin smiled, and Goldryn burned brighter. "I am a god."
She unleashed herself upon them.
GOOOO!!!!
#books#throne of glass#tog#sarah j maas#bookblr#currently reading#kingdom of ash#aelin#aelin fireheart#queen aelin#aelin throne of glass#aelin of the wildfire#aelin ashryver galathynius#aelin galathynius
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do you ever think about the fact rowan tossed aelin goldryn, knowing what it was, trusting her - even then - to recognise what he was giving her, what potential she could do with it, long before he ever fell in love with her or became sworn to her?
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Rowan would have liked nothing more than to slit the maleâs throat for leaving Aelin to die at the hands of the Valg princes. He might very well get the chance to do thatâsoon. âI will never forget, not for one moment, what you did to him that day in Doranelle. Your miserable existence is at the bottom of my priority list, but one day, Lorcan âŚâ She smiled a little. âOne day, Iâll come to claim that debt, too. Consider tonight a warning.â
Sorry, but... Rowan and Aelin's reasons for hating Lorcan don't even make sense. Especially when you consider this:
Rowan ran, shoving aside his oldest friend, shouldering past the other towering male who now appearedâLorcan. Even Lorcan had answered his call.
Lorcan came to help. And he came to help ROWAN, not Aelin. But the darkness did not advance over the ward-stones, and Rowan, who had been restrained by Gavriel and Lorcan in the grass outside the fortress, knew why. Lorcan AND Gavriel were restraining Rowan, yet only Lorcan gets the blame. Plus, they were doing it to save his life. Lorcan swore over the roar of the torrential rain. âShe is dead, you fool, or close enough to it. You can still save other lives.â They began hauling him to his feet, away from her. âIf you donât let me go, Iâll rip your head from your body,â he snarled at Lorcan, the commander who had offered him a company of warriors when he had nothing and no one left. IT WAS LORCAN WHO OFFERED ROWAN THE FIRST FRIENDS HE EVER HAD. LORCAN. LORCAN. NOT ANYBODY ELSE. Celaena went for Goldryn, but the twins went for Rowan, who did nothing, didnât even struggle as they gripped his arms, forcing him again to his knees. Two others emerged from the shadows behind them. Gavriel, his tawny eyes carefully empty, and Lorcan, face stone-cold. And in their hands ⌠FENRYS AND CONNALL RESTRAINED ROWAN. Gavriel sent his whip flying so fast Rowan had only a breath to recover. There was no remorse on Gavrielâs lovely face, no sign of the male sheâd thanked weeks ago. Gavriel AND Lorcan whipped Rowan. ALL FOUR WERE CULPABLE. IT WAS NOT LORCAN'S FAULT ALONE. BESIDES, THERE WAS THE FREAKING BLOOD OATH. REMEMBER??? âNo,â Fenrys agreed. âBut we would offer that strength to another.â And he looked at Rowan as he said, âWhen we got your call for aid this springâwhen you asked us to come defend Mistward, we left before Maeve could get wind of it. We ran.â âThatâs enough,â Lorcan growled. But Fenrys went on, holding Rowanâs steady gaze, âWhen we returned, Maeve whipped us within an inch of our lives. Tied Lorcan to the posts for two days and let Cairn whip him whenever he wished. Lorcan ordered us not to tell youâfor whatever reason. But I think Maeve saw what we did together in Mistward and realized how dangerous we could beâto her.â LORCAN DID THIS FOR HIS HOMIE ROWAN. I KNOW ROWAN DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT IT, BUT LORCAN STILL DID IT. ROWAN SEVERELY UNDERESTIMATED THE DEPTH OF LORCAN'S REGARD FOR HIM. Reading all of this and then seeing Rowan say Gavriel was his only friend just makes me so mad. At the end he called them all his brothers, but I was MAD pressed in the middle here.
#lorcan salvaterre#lorcan stan#lord lorcan lochan#cadre#rowan whitethorn#aelin galathynius#heir of fire#rowcan
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