#she didn’t need magic
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Fenrys whispered, "Holy gods."
Not at the bridge that snapped down, soldiers teeming in the dark depths inside. But at who emerged from the keep archway behind them. What emerged. Rowan didn't know where to look. At the soldiers pouring out of the siege tower, leaping onto the battlements, or at Aelin.
At the Queen of Terrasen.
She'd found armor below the keep. Beautiful, pale gold armor that gleamed like a summer dawn. Holding back her braided hair, a diadem lay flush against her head. Not a diadem, but a piece of armor. Part of some ancient set for a lady long since buried. A crown for war, a crown to wear into battle. A crown to lead armies.
There was no fear on her face, no doubt, as Aelin hefted her shield, flipping Goldryn in her hand once before the first of Morath's soldiers was upon her. Rowan launched into movement, his blades finding their marks, but still he watched her.
Aelin slammed her shield against an oncoming warrior, Goldryn slicing through another before she plunged the blade into the soldier she'd deflected. She did it again, and again.
All while heading toward that siege tower. Unhindered. Unleashed.
A call went down the line. The queen has come.
She planted her line before the gaping maw of that siege tower, right in the path of those teeming hordes. Every moment of the training she'd done on the ship here, on the road, every new blister and callus—all to rebuild herself for this.
The queen has come.
Goldryn unfaltering, her shield an extension of her arm, Aelin glowed like the sun that now broke over the khagan's army as she engaged each soldier that hurtled her way. Five, ten—she moved and moved and moved, ducking and swiping, shoving and flipping, black blood spraying, her face the portrait of grim, unbreaking will.
"The queen!" the men shouted. "To the queen!"
And as Rowan fought his way closer, as that cry went down the battlements and Anielle men ran to aid her, he realized that Aelin did not need an ounce of flame to inspire men to follow. That she had been waiting, yanking at the bit, to show them what she, without magic, without any godly power, might do. He'd never seen such a glorious sight. In every land, every battle, he had never seen anything as glorious as Aelin before the throat of the siege tower, holding the line. Dawn breaking around them, Rowan loosed a battle cry and tore into Morath.
#the full circle from QoS Rowan didn’t know where to look but totally different vibes lol#a battle cry you say? isn’t that how her rumor starts with him then pecking out eyes in a few chapters or something? lol#the QUEEN of Terrasen#all hail Rowan’s wife (lord knows he is😂)#symbols count… they give Hope… Hope matters… people need hope in times like these#the Queen has come#the cadre circle by her side#as Rowan fought his way closer to her#she didn’t need magic#and she’s saving it#she’s always got a plan#honestly I’m scared if she doesn’t have a backup secret plan#a crown for war#Goldryn#Aelin Ashryver Galathynius#Rowan Whitethorn#Rowaelin#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Chapter 57#kingdom of ash quotes#There was no fear on her face no doubt — SHE WAS NOT AFRAID#Rowan launched into movement his blades finding their marks but still he watched her.#In every land every battle he had never seen anything as glorious as Aelin#Aelin did not need an ounce of flame to inspire men to follow#TO THE QUEEN#follow#and they did#unbreaking will#all to rebuild herself FOR THIS
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2024 reads / storygraph
The Fireborne Blade
high fantasy novella about a knight who’s planning to prove herself by retrieving a powerful fabled blade
follows her venturing into the dragon’s lair and facing it’s powerful magical effects, with a mage-squire who she doesn’t remember hiring
as well as flashback chapters of her past, preparing for this quest, an excerpts from archive records of other knights’ encounters with dragons
#The Fireborne Blade#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#This is interesting! definitely my favourite part is the fascinating dragon magic and lore and all the descriptions of that.#I wish we saw more of the dragon tho#some spooky moments and I didn’t guess all of the twists!#I was a little dissapointed when the scottish(?) accent for the first story was just for that part not the whole book tbh#the backstory being rejected by a man she loved felt…….out of character and lacking detail?.#it kinda just felt like a flimsy excuse for a catalyst slash establishing her as bisexual I guess. idk#like who was this man. who was she in this relationship. why did we need to know that#that's not even me not caring about men I just am like ??#there is the START of maybe f/f in here also but I suspect that'll be more in the sequel. i should try get that off netgalley
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it’s funny how things have gone full circle with malenia. she was so hated when the game first came out, but then people grew to like her. then the dlc came out and now people hate her again lmao
#i mean it’s hardly surprising given what we now know#she did all that awful shit and wasn’t even charmed#like i see people talk about how stupid miquella is because of this plan to essentially trap radahn#but that also makes malenia look stupid af too#‘go to caelid and kill radahn so i can marry him’ ans she was like sure#miquella wanted the one guy in the lands between who loves war and fighting to be his consort for his age of peace and compassion…#what a genius he is.#makes me wonder why he even needs some heavy weight to keep order for him when he can just charm people into submission#was radahn just there as a ceremonial position?#oh wait i forgot miquella thinks he’s super kind so that’s why he wants him#miq learnt about the gravity magic horse thing and swooned#honestly still can’t get over how incredibly stupid the twins look after the dlc#i think people like to imagine malenia was charmed just because it makes it all look slightly better on her part#like they are just making excuses for her#but holy shit the fact she was all but willing to fucking die so miquella could bag radahn..#what a thing to die for lmao#and he was apparently present after the battle? but didn’t do anything to help either radahn nor malenia?#instead he was helping a random redmane?#he obviously knew malenia had bloomed but ultimately didn’t care i guess#kind of like ‘oh well if she’s still alive when I get back i’ll deal with it then’#honestly wish miquella had just died in that cocoon at this point#tbh he doesn’t really do much in the dlc anyway they could have made it more about messmer and marika#hell bring melina into it please that would have been more interesting at this point#we didn’t need the dubcon incest plot micheal you could have left that one in the drafts#i gotta get this out of my head it’s driving me nuts#seriously need to move on from this game for my own sanity
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currently cori has the emperors new fists for their mnk weapon bc the whole idea behind mnk cori is estinien was like “you need to learn to throw hands in case you can’t use magic or your gun.” but i’m kind of enamored by the idea of them engineering themself a pair of gloves or aetherically charged brass knuckles or something after enw
#i just like letting cori use any skills she might have picked up from working with stephanivien lol#also i’ve been toying with the idea of cori making rings or bracelets that help collect and channel their aether through their grimoire#and other weapons since they have a hard time with it currently#and i think that would be easier than making something for each weapon? but idk if that would work#i mean i guess technically speaking it’s not really lore compliant anyway so whatever but i like to stick to what i can#anyway i think estinien is like cori this defeats the purpose and cori just makes him a pair and just like the friendship bracelet#he cherishes them forever#also the conversation that exists in my head between them that’s like estinien telling cori he didn’t think it would be permanent when he#said they might not use magic one day he just wanted them to not die if they had to fight and cori’s like well. wistful glance into#the distance. you were right i guess so thank you.#is actually very heartwarming#they’re unexpected besties#i need a text post tag#sorry. i think the less sleep i get the more posts and tags i have to write
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🥀💌🕯️💀 <33
*old person yells at cloud* THEORY TIME <3 but i was thinking of the skill trees screens we’ve seen so far and i am like…… super certain that ingellvar is the mourners surname and soo that calls for an update to irulannes pin interest board <33
(ill cry change it if it isn’t though but hehe anyway im stoked to at last have a surname for when i save her edits bc rn her folder says i.datv xixjjxhx *WHEEZE* 💀)
#leg.txt#it fits so well it fits so welllll irulanne ingellvar you’ll always be loved by MEEE#the icon looks suuuper like some of the dead in the necropolis in one of the concept arts so i am thinking its them??#thinking about her story a lot lately I NEED TO WRITE IT DOWN SOO BAD 🥀🤧#im thinking she was found by the sisters raised up right adopted a surname (mayb from a mentor or ‘mother’ of sorts??)#raised up as she was to be arcane advisor/mistress mother to a mage heir bc they want a mage on a throne one way or another or both etc etc#like i mean that could make sense for her i think?? its not TECHNICALLY her name yk iru didn’t actually have a first name either#its what they gave her? AT LEAST THATS WHAT SHE WAS TOLD bc hehe the blood magic in the ritual#did a wee more than just what’s happening now from what happened in the trailer hehe#it also lifted a wee little spell they did on her that wiped all of her memories from before she met the sisters 🥀👁️#there may be some vengeance from robbing her of her life she may drag her lovie l*ucanis on who’s to say HEHE#something something she had her own kingdom already as she was a sort of spymaster w/ the dead using deceased birds to watch for hot gossip#a prodigy at a young age she was <3 she may have been an advisor anyway even without the sisters influence yk#ughh i want to develop the sisters and irulannes pre v*eilguard lore soooo bad now EEEK.#i am getting my wisdom teeth out next week so i think it’ll be the prime time to do that i think 🥀💌#anyway time to finish those asks ughh they’re the funnest as always if you read all of this moots i am baking you cookies <3#i think word is that thorne is the wardens and it does look like it i would say too?#i think for cassia she had to have got that from someone maybe to hide her identity or something#she’s either the result of a princess of the a*nderfels having a tryst with n*athaniel or l*oghain i haven’t decided 🥀👁️
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I want to ask something that I'm really curious about in SVT TFTP.
Is Beom really a witch? Or more like a sage with spiritual connections? I mean, she seemed to have been in contact with nature and have an amicable nature.
Beom apparently passed some of her "gifts" with nature to Soomin as Soomin is able to counter spells as we saw in 'Find Our Way' but even then Soomin is not a witch, so I guess she's kinda like Beom
in the tftp universe, anyone who can do any sort of magic or spells is considered a witch, whether they truly are one or not. it’s kind of just used as an umbrella term. that being said, though, beom was actually a witch. she didn’t often use her powers, especially when she got older. she only really used magic when it was dire. she definitely gave off more sage energy, but she also knew that witches were typically seen as evil, even by other creatures so she definitely kept that a secret lmao
soomin, however, isn’t really a witch. she, i would say, would be more of a sage than anything else
#sarcasticsweetlara#svt tftp#yknow i didn’t even realize she seemed to align more w a sage than a witch#but she really just didn’t feel like she needed to use her magic that often
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Me? Still bitter that Emma and Killian didn’t get to exchange their vows aboard the Jolly Roger even though they both clearly liked the idea? Pfff, noooo. Do I look like I still think it was unfair that Killian’s first and only suggestion about his own wedding got shut down in 0.5 seconds? (Henry, buddy, I just wanna talk) Do I look like I was disappointed to see 50 random extras dancing a weird disney channel-esqe choreography instead of more scenes from the actual wedding? Do I look like I expected a best man speech? Or any of the couple’s actual friends turning up?
#here’s who they invited to their wedding#(though they probably didn’t even get to make any invitations or anything because it was incredibly rushed)#emma’s parents and baby brother (of course) henry (yes of course)#regina (ok fine) zelena (out of pity because she gave up her magic?) granny (sure)#and some random people never seen before that had a free afternoon I guess (???)#here’s who was nowhere in sight:#ashley#belle#tinker bell#smee#august#elsa was in another realm but didn’t arendelle have a special little portal into this world?#ruby (also in another realm but in possession of magic transport slippers)#did i forget anyone?#ouat criticism#because i am a dissatisfied little bitch and i have the need to complain about these things#i refuse to shut up#random ouat thoughts
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#I just spent 30 min crying over that clip from the last unicorn#the: how dare you come to me NOW clip#because the magic never came for me#and when it didn’t come I put the desire for it on a shelf#I buried it#(that desire that one day#something amazing would just appear in my life#and then the adventure would start#a new better world would open up to me)#I became so good at ignoring it I forgot about it#I grew up#my life became about banal tiring things like house maintenance and bills#the awful crushing druggry we all go through to just survive#I’ve become a bitter tired woman who feels old before she’s old#and it cracked my fucking heart in two#because this isn’t what I wanted to be#and I still want that magic#I will ALWAYS want that magic#but I am really morning for the me that needed it 10 years ago#I am sorry the world is so hard#and so full of disappointments#I am sorry you became me
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AMY WINSTON/AMETHYST & HER DOG “TAFFY” in AMETHYST: PRINCESS OF GEMWORLD (1983)
#amy winston#taffy#amethyst princess of gemworld#amethyst#something something a girl and her dog <3#I definitely think the series might have benefitted from a Dorothy/Toto type dynamic between them#and then if they wanted Taffy could go full Cringer and Amy could use her magic to transform her into a more ferocious animal (if needed#Battle Cat style)#it was sad to see that she never got to return to her pack and that she didn’t try to accompany Amy again bc it was so sweet the first time#also the bookend in the series with Amy starting with sleeping with her dog and ending it with sleeping with her dog#and the lengths taffy went through to protect her <3#and the first time Amy truly taps into her full potential is after taffy is threatened#*panelsandpages
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Rowaelin Chapter 41 Kingdom of Ash:
She'd rebuild it—what she had been.
Perhaps one last time, perhaps only for a little while, but she'd do it. If only for Terrasen.
Rowan swooped from the mast, shifting as he reached her side at the rail. He surveyed the night-black sea beyond them. "You should rest." She slid him a glance. "I'm not tired." Not a lie, not in some regards. "Want to spar?" He frowned. "Training can start tomorrow."
"Or tonight." She held his piercing stare, matched his dominance with her own.
"It can wait a few hours, Aelin."
"Every day counts." Against Erawan, even a day of training would count.
Rowan's jaw tightened. "True," he said at last. "But it can still wait. There are ... there are things we need to discuss." The silent words rose in his animal-bright eyes. About you and me.
Her mouth went dry. But Aelin nodded In silence, they strode into their spacious quarters, its only decoration the wall of windows that overlooked the churning sea behind them. A far cry from a queen's chamber, or any she might have purchased as Adarlan's assassin.
At least the bed built into the wall looked clean enough, the sheets crisp and stainless. But Aelin headed for the oak desk anchored to the floor, and leaned against it while Rowan shut the door.
In the dim lantern light, they stared at each other.
She'd endured Maeve and Cairn; she'd endured Endovier and countless other horrors and losses. She could have this conversation with him. The first step toward rebuilding herself.
Aelin knew Rowan could hear her thundering heart as the space between them went taut. She swallowed once. "Elide and Lorcan told you... told you everything that was said on that beach."
A curt nod, wariness flooding his eyes. "Everything that Maeve said." Another nod.
She braced herself. "That I'm-we're mates."
Understanding and something like relief replaced that wariness. "Yes."
"I'm your mate," she said, needing to voice it. "And you are mine."
Rowan crossed the room, but halted a few feet from the desk on which she leaned. "What of it, Aelin?" His question was low, rough.
"Don't you..." She scrubbed at her face. "You know what she did to you, to ..." She couldn't say her name. Lyria. "Because of it."
"I do know."
"And?"
"And what do you wish me to say?"
She pushed off the desk. "I wish you to tell me how you feel about it. If…"
"If what?"
"If you wish it wasn't so."
His brows narrowed. "Why would I ever wish that?"
She shook her head, unable to answer, and stared over her shoulder toward the sea.
It seemed like he would close the distance between them, but he remained where he was.
"Aelin." His voice turned hoarse. "Aelin."
She looked at him then, at the pain in his words.
"Do you know what I wish?" He exposed his palms, one tattooed, the other unmarked. "I wish that you had told me. When you realized it. I wish you had told me then."
She swallowed against the ache in her throat. "I didn't want to hurt you."
"Why would it ever hurt me to know the truth that was already in my heart? The truth I hoped for?"
"I didn't understand it. I didn't understand how it was possible. I thought maybe ... maybe you might be able to have two mates within a lifetime, but even then, I just ….." She blew out a breath. "I didn't want you to be distressed." His eyes softened. "Do I regret that Lyria was dragged into this, that the cost of Maeve's game was her life, and the life of the child we might have had? Yes. I regret that, and I wish it had never happened." He would bear the tattoo to remember it for the rest of his days. "But none of that was your fault. I will always carry some of the burden of it, always know I chose to leave her for war and glory, and that I played right into Maeve's hands."
"Maeve wanted to ensnare you to get to me, though."
"Then it is her choice, not yours."
Aelin ran a hand over the worn wood of the desk. "In those illusions she spun for me, she showed me variations on one more than all the others." The words were strained, but she forced them out. Forced herself to look at him. "She spun me one dreamscape that felt so real I could smell the wind off the Staghorns."
"What did she show you?" A breathless question.
Aelin had to swallow before she could answer. "She showed me what might have been—if there had been no Erawan, if Elena had dealt with him properly and banished him. If there had been no Lyria, none of that pain or despair you endured. She showed me Terrasen as it would have been today, with my father as king, and my childhood happy, and..." Her lips wobbled. "When I turned twenty, you came with a delegation of Fae to Terrasen, to make amends for the rift between my mother and Maeve. And you and I took one look at each other in my father's throne room, and we knew."
She didn't fight the stinging in her eyes. "I wanted to believe that was the true world. That this was the nightmare from which I'd awaken. I wanted to believe that there was a place where you and I had never known this suffering and loss, where we'd take one look at each other and know we were mates. Maeve told me she could make it so. If I gave her the keys, she'd make it all possible." She wiped at her cheek, at the tear that escaped down it. "She spun me realities where you were dead, where you'd been killed by Erawan and only in handing over the keys to her would I be able to avenge you. But those realities made me ... I stopped being useful to her when she told me you were gone. She couldn't get me to talk, to think. Yet in the ones where you and I met, where things were as they should have been ... that was when I came the closest."
His swallow was audible. "What stopped you?"
She wiped at her face again. "The male I fell in love with was you. It was you, who knew pain as I did, and who walked with me through it, back to the light. Maeve didn't understand that. That even if she could create that perfect world, it wouldn't be you with me. And I'd never trade that, trade this. Not for anything." He extended his hand. An offer and invitation.
Aelin laid hers atop his, and his callused fingers squeezed gently. "I wanted it to be you," he breathed, closing his eyes. "For months and months, even in Wendlyn, I wondered why you weren't my mate instead. It tore me up, wondering it, but I still did." He opened his eyes, and they burned like green fire. "All this time, I wanted it to be you."
She lowered her gaze, but he hooked a thumb and forefinger around her chin and lifted her face.
"I know you are tired, Fireheart. I know that the burden on your shoulders is more than anyone should endure." He took their joined hands and laid them on his heart. "But we'll face this together. Erawan, the Lock, all of it.
"We'll face it together. And when we are done, when you Settle, we will have a thousand years together. Longer."
A small sound came out of her. "Elena said the Lock requires—"
"We'll face it together," he swore again.
"And if the cost of it truly is you, then we'll pay it together. As one soul in two bodies.
Her heart strained to the point of cleaving. "Terrasen needs a king."
"I have no intention of ruling Terrasen without you. Aedion can have the job."
She scanned his face. He meant every word He brushed the hair from her face, his other hand still clasping hers to his chest, where his heart pounded a steady, unfaltering rhythm.
"Even if I had my choice of any dream-realities, any perfect illusions, I would still choose you, too."
She felt the truth of his words echo into the unbreakable thing that bound their very souls, and tilted her face up toward his. But he made no move beyond it.
She frowned. "Why aren't you kissing me?"
"I thought you might want to be asked first."
"That never stopped you before."
"This first time, I wanted to make sure you were ... ready." After Cairn and Maeve. After months of having no choices whatsoever.
She smiled despite that truth. "I'm ready to be kissed again, Prince."
He let out a dark chuckle and muttered, "Thank the gods," before he lowered his mouth to hers.
"You're my mate." Her words were a breathless rush. "And I am yours."
The world might have been burning around them for all she cared, all he cared, too.
"Together, Aelin," he promised, and she heard the rest of the words in every place their bodies joined. Together they would face this, together they would find a way.
Together we'll find a way, their mingling breaths, the crashing sea, seemed to echo.
Together.
#Chapter 41#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Aelin Galathynius#Rowan Whitethorn#Rowaelin#soulmates#mates#spoilers and notes in tags cause this chapter and also spoilers in post cause this chapter first read react with me read along#Rowaelin chapters scenes moments quotes#they want to make it possible bring that love to light#am I allowed to cry? — Again the word endured — finally the dream — the sand she still sees — he’s magic being steady — them talking time#again if Maeve could convince Rowan Lyria was his mate how bad was it when she convinced Aelin her actual mate was dead… this hurts me…#the fact Aelin stopped being useful because it destroyed her beyond belief but the dreams the dreams almost got her because its all she wan#again then both feeling sorry and the other not realizing and then consent and then comfort and love & I just wanted it2be U how could I no#I know you are tired Fireheart (ALL THE TROPES IN ONE LINE… UGH I MISSED THIS SHIP)#together. one soul in two bodies. their endgame like literally they are. I’d choose you too. even the apologies that were needed just heali#what it might have once been — together — not alone — not returning alone — the king and queen of Terrasen — I need u more — 2 whatever end#Aelin watched the boat until it disappeared trying not to stare too long at the clean unstained sand beneath her boots#always north — she didn’t care she just wanted far away — who knew — what she knew-the letters she sent-Valg-dark blood that had turned red#If it had been another dreamscape or some fragment that had blended into the very real memory of Connall's death. — always a plab&theory#all these things to deal with later-she’d rebuild all she had been-her match helper mirror-matched his piercing stare with her own-wait/res#A far cry from a queen's chamber or any she might have purchased as Adarlan's assassin. — how far we’ve come-she had ENDURED she can do it#I'm your mate she said needing to voice it. And you are mine. — Lyria. — I do know. and?&what do you wish me to say?-this was perfect#If what? If you wish it wasn't so. His brows narrowed. Why would I ever wish that? — Aelin. she looked at him at the pain in his words#the way it's changed since Mistward... and grown... even in names like Whitethorn Galathynius together — the brain thoughts are back —#The kiss was gentle-light. Letting her decide how to guide it. So she did. — he’d do it all night if that was what’s he wished#Together we'll find a way their mingling breaths the crashing sea seemed to echo. Together. — mountains and oceans#Might’ve been before-thought snapped-the bond- u r my mate&I am urs-the world might have been burning for all she cared all he cared too#Together they would face this together they would find a way. — claiming him as he claimed her — a scar a marker a tattoo
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what if mage Hawke ran away to secretly join the king’s army at Ostagar along with Carver
#dragon age 2#alternative post title: Ways To Make Your Mother And Siblings Even More Annoyed With You#carver would be mad because his older sibling won’t let him do his own thing#bethany is mad because hawke didn’t take her with them#hawke pretends to be a Normal Soldier until things go south at Ostagar#at which point they use magic to get Carver and themselves out of there#herearedragons meta#oc: secret hawke#I like the idea of her being at Ostagar way too much and it’s even more fun if she’s a mage who is#a) hiding that she’s a mage b) absolutely didn’t need to put herself at so much risk#c) still stealing the spotlight and quickly becoming popular among the recruits
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if there’s one thing abt staying up rlly late it’s that it gives u the best lore-dreams
#the girl i met there was cool#there was this weird room that wanted to kill u and i think she was born there (her mother went in there when she was pregnant ig)#i think she had some sorta magic healing powers but they weren’t always perfect (eg. her legs never fully healed so she can’t walk much)#and also i think the room could change sizes or smthn but that might’ve just been typical dream continuity#i think i wanted to leave it#and also there was this creature that came every once in a while and it left something behind i think (maybe human or animal corpses? idk)#i think we managed to find a way to leave but for some reason she couldnt#also not sure how she nd her mother managed to be in there for 16(?) years since i barely survived 3 days#but idk maybe it had smthn to do with her powers#i think by the end i was able to leave and i could text her from outside the room and so could other ppl and the plot was still ongoing#there was also a young boy there that my brain 1000% based off young adam from the adam project#also for some reason my bsf his brother and his mother were there at a bit#and his brother had aids for some reason and she was mad abt it (idk)#wish i could remember more of the dream cause it was pretty cool#i need to name the girl#i remember she was pretty pale with big brown eyes and red hair#and by red i mean red red not ginger#she was also relatively skinny nd cis#and also her legs didn’t work the best and i can’t remember what it was but there was smthn different about what she had to eat#maybe she counted as a creature from the room idk#i loved her tho#dreams#ryan shut the fuck up
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going through answered asks from when i was 18 wanting to hold myself so tightly
#i’ve never cared for the whole i wish i could see my younger self thing#because from where i was standing it was always still bad so thought why would i want to see them now#things are going to become very hard again very soon but last year was the best year of my entire life#i did something terrifying and then i claimed my life as my own#and a year later i have a car! and im driving! you can’t understand how impossible of a thought this was to me before#i live on my own and i’ve decorated my body and my bedroom and i can buy things i never thought id be able to own#i miss connecting with others my dash is a total wasteland now but i just#seriously cannot believe where i am right now. even though some things are still so screwed up and more screwed things are on the way#and i’m terrified of course. january is the perfect month to feel like ending it all. too much unknown#but still 2023 felt like magic i didn’t deserve and yet i basked in it#i’m not incredibly successful i’m not very interesting but im still so proud of myself somehow. even though i hate myself#it’s not as much as i used to. i appreciate myself more now and i can see how i needed me to get here. and im grateful for me#and for everything i have. i’m just speechless i can’t believe the life i currently have#i’m waiting to enter the era of travelling and intimate get together those areas are still slow coming#but if i could do this i can only hope and hope and squeeze my eyes tight to make them appear someday#i miss so many things but i don’t miss the old me. she sucked but she also cared and she’s still here in fragments#it’s strange to write this way i’ve never felt this sort of compassion before i was so so deeply depressed#it was inescapable and for good reason i don’t know how i made it through anything i’ve endured#i have to thank myself for always being too scared to die
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my haaaaaands are still fucked uuuuuup but when they’re unfucked up i’m gonna draw smth so sexy and delicious for my new skyrim oc i can see the comp in my mind’s eye it’d just make my hands fall off if i tried to draw it
#he’s a liiiiiiitle bit of a serial killer so i’m envisioning him in like a white gown/robe with his hair up like in fucking. ella enchanted#in the garden with caryalind thallery but the knife behind his back is just coated in blood and there’s a pile of bodies behind him that we#can see but cary can’t see. i LOVE cary btw if you haven’t tried him as a follower highly highly recommend#vaynis is a character i didn’t think i’d get all that attached to i just wanted to try out the ancient falmer mod and then i got like. SO#attached to him immediately. he’s not actually an ancient falmer he’s just like. a non betrayed falmer who’s 23. his dad was like the#ultimate ‘i survive everything bc i’m good at hiding’ kinda guy who was a child when the snow prince died and he just fucked off into the#jerall mountains for forever basically. and another falmer (much younger) stumbled on him up there and was like ‘dude wtf if you have#immortality magic why do you live in a wizard shack in the mountains’ and he was like ‘well. i’m wicked scared all the time you see’#so in exchange for teaching her the immortality spell he was like ‘will you have a baby with me so the falmer don’t die out’ and she was#like ‘yeah ok but i’m not raising this fucking baby. i’m leaving i’m not a mom. you won’t make me a mom’ and he was like ‘yeah sure ok’#secretly thinking if he built her a tower she’d stay. so every day he’d build the tower bit by bit with magic and everyday she’d plan to#leave and like in a fairytale they had the ‘i’m going to leave’ ‘i know’ conversation but then vaynis was born and she actually DID leave bc#she wasn’t a mom! she told him that! but he was like shocked bc he was a moron. and so he locked vaynis in his wizard tower and only let him#out to teach him how to hunt and track and forage. and vaynis really wanted to see the world but his dad would never change. so he planned#to leave and he picked himself out a nice breton adventurer to seduce into taking him along only when his dad found out he killed the breton#and locked vaynis back in the tower. and vaynis waited and watched and planned and pretended like he was sorry. and then one day he#knifed him in his sleep. and took his shit and escaped. but auriel wasn’t super happy about that so he shipwrecked him. and ever since theb#vaynis has been pretty pathetic. he’s working on it but like. it really is kinda embarassing to watch. anyway his new scheme for glory is to#join the thalmor and he IS really pretty so this thalmor agent in solitude was like ‘hey the heir to the aldmeri dominion is also here and#we like. really need him back and with his head in the game. the nords are stupid they think you’re a altmer but like. i know a bitch whose#race is supposed to be extinct when i see one. you seduce caryalind thallery back into line and we’ll help you do whatever you wanna do to#restore the falmer. ideally it’s integrate with us.’ so vaynis obviously takes that fucking opportunity but problems arise bc caryalind#isn’t quite as seduceable as previously thought. yeah he’s flirty but he’s also looking for something serious and trying to become a better#person. so vaynis is on a journey of ‘get aldmeri prince to marry me and have his baby to achieve greatness’ when they stumble into helgen#after alduin attacks (bc as we all know i’m addicted to the ‘the prisoner dies and akatosh has to pick a new dragonborn’ narrative’ and he#) and akatosh picks vaynis honestly? to be funny. i love interpreting akatosh as a smartass it’s so funny to me#‘yeah there’s a whole world riding on this but like. wouldn’t it be kinda hilarious to see what happens?’#alternatively maybe akatosh and auriel are one in the same. you decide#anyway becoming the dragonborn really complicates this plan like. MOST severely
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The scene in „The Hunter’s Heart“ where Arthur unknowingly hunts Gwen (while she’s a deer) gives me Disney’s Swan Lake-vibes bc the prince (Derek) also hunts Odette in her swan-form while also not knowing that it is her
#Derek chooses not to shoot Odette at the last minute tho (bc he’s enthralled by the swan’s beauty & doesn’t have the heart to kill it)#Arthur’s arrow gets redirected by Merlin’s magic & thus misses Gwen#Arthur is generally a frustrating idiot in this episode#I wanted to hit him over the head the whole time#thw worst is Gwen thinks she DESERVED every bad thing that happened to her bc she ”betrayed“ Arthur#(im Talking abt her kissing Lancelot while under a love spell. so it wasn’t even her FAULT)#(and even if it were. these things happen. ppl cheat. so what. don’t make a big deal out of it & start over)#(but NO Arthur acts like a little boy who didn’t get his way & banishes her. the abandonment issues are strong with this one I can tell)#(still not an excuse. GWEN DESERVED BETTER. the poor girl!!!!)#gwen my beloved#just chuck Arthur & marry me instead :)#bbc merlin#the hunters heart#mithian was in this episode too (not important to the post I’m just gay)#i sometimes really hate Arthur. but his character development got fired from the show so it’s not even his damn fault#need to drown myself in the posts that praise Arthur now bc I KNOW he’s a good guy deep deep deeeeeeeep down#somebody PLEASE convince me that he’s a good guy#minee#bbc merlin rewatch 2023
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Cleaned up another Calamity Crew AU doodle
#Artnatomy errors included#Amphibia#Marcy Wu#Calamity Crew AU#Touches of Magic AU#I need to get more confident in shading#that’s why she doesn’t have any shading#I love shading but it takes so much patience and time#Aw man I keep making errors#I didn’t add her pretty hair shine#strawberry I see you#do NOT tag this as TOM AU or I will HUNT YOU DOWN#/j
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