#going undercover as a married couple with 4 kids. The kids being the ones mentioned prior but like Arthur and Ivan end up getting real real

[the-heaminator]

“Dammit please don’t start crying” for the na bros 🙏🏽

I dont write enough of these two, let's change that, context of au in the tags

Nothing was going to plan right now, absolutely nothing, they had burned the cake to smithereens, it tasted fine, at least that's what Arthur said, but his taste buds were not to be taken seriously, and besides it looked quite like a cowpat.

He had gone off to stall Ivan somewhere, he was a good liar so they believed that he would be able to, Jack and Eleanor had been taken care of via an afterschool club that ran till 6, most ran till 4:30, but the science club was having its awards ceremony today so they were dealt with through an almost uncanny twist of fate.

Now it was up to those two to keep everything together, and both were failing miserably, Arthur had told them just to, in his words "Don't set the house on fire, flood it or find another way to destroy it." Those were his exact words, at least he wasn't expecting very much, though for Matthew at least that made it worse, not entirely sure why himself, but it made it worse.

Alfred knew Matthew tended to get volatile when under this kind of pressure, easily the most rational of all 6 of them, but even he had his moments, and by how anxious and fidgety he was now, this seemed like it was getting to be one of those moments, it was best to avoid him in such situations, Alfred knew this, off by heart nearly, it had happened enough times before that he knew what he was doing.

Matt was rushing about at almost a dizzying speed, pacing in the way Alfred usually did when excited, though more fevered, and of course, far less joyous, even sitting his leg was bouncing up and down irritatingly fast, Father had always been harder on Matthew than he had been on him, Alfred may have been the oldest, but he needed the spare to be even better, that was years ago, Father was dead now, but the remnants of that were still present, Arthur and Ivan's standards were odd, likely because they hadn't interacted with children for decades before them, their whole thing was that they could be really good at what they liked to do and be good enough to get decent grades at.

Matt had loosened up a lot under this system, because even under the agency, the teachers there were teachers of adults, they expected more of him than he was comfortable to provide, Alfred could usually keep up, and Jack wasn't expected to just yet, and he was stuck in the middle.

Matthew had gone pale.

This was not good, he stilled too, deep breath, that failed, he started to pace again, went up to his room, and closed the door behind him. Fuck.

Alfred rushed upstairs, Matthew had barricaded the door, he spoke through it, he was loud enough "Dammit, Mattie please don't start crying, let me in?"

Matthew didn't want to, he was being foolish, stupid, a fucking idiot, but he did anyways, Alfred immediately grabbed him and didn't let him go for a while, he may have not had the most tact when it came to...just about everything, but sure as hell could he try, Matthew was taller than him already, lanky bastard he was, Matthew stilled, either to do with comfort or because Alfred was stronger than he looked and his ribs were being abused.

A wet cough "Alfred...!"

He let go, "Are you good bro?"

"Yes, yes, I'll be fine."

He could hear Jack coming into the driveway, this was not good "Mattie, calm down dude."

"I am calm now, you are the one panicking Alfred?"

"Right, right." The door opened, Alfred and Matthew snuck down, Matthew's eyes were still a little red, Arthur caught the slightly wet look Matt had going on, but had absolutely no idea why that was the case, had he hurt himself?

The house was still in one piece and a twice over showed nothing, Ivan was occupied by Jack and Eleanor excitedly telling him something about snakes, Arthur caught their eyes and tried to question, Matthew shook his head and looked up the stairs, this was to be discussed later, but for now, the planning had to commence.

[lacontroller1991]

Mr. and Mrs. Flag (Rick Flag x Fem!Reader)

Requested by @myownworldsstuff​ : Rick Flag and Reader where they are married with Mr. and Mrs. Smith vibes

@h-hxgirl​ @artemis-cr0ck​

Author's Note: I think the title is very fitting 😁

Warnings: Mention of child loss, mentions of abortion, language 

The smell of homemade spaghetti entered Rick’s nostrils as he walked through the threshold into his shared home with you, his wife. Hearing the door open, you quickly wiped your palms on your apron before rushing to greet him.

“Hey baby, how was work?” You asked as he set down a briefcase before pulling you into his embrace, placing a gentle kiss on your lips.

“Work’s work, I had clients all the way up my ass today, bitching about how their stocks are plummeting,” he replied as you hummed, giving him a smile before pulling away. You knew he wasn’t a stock marketer. You knew he worked with some of the world’s most dangerous criminals. In any case, you were there to gather any intel you managed to scrape up for the CIA. What you didn’t expect was to slowly love him along the way. The CIA had warned you not to do what you did, saying that he was just a mission, but to you he became more than that. He became your best friend. He became your lover.

“Well, dinner is ready. Your favorite,” you whispered against his ear as you tugged against his blazer.

“You know me so well.”

You two ate in silence aside from the occasional slurp of noodles and guzzle of wine.

“So, how was your day?” He asked as you twirled the stem of your wine glass between your thumb and index finger, desperately wanting to tell him about how your day really was. As far as he knew, or so you thought, you were a kindergarten teacher at the local school.

“It was alright, I had 5 kids not wanting to take a nap, and 3 of them being rowdy as always. Even though I teach kids, I still don’t want one,” you mentioned as he let out a small chuckle before silence cascaded over the room. Your eyes locked with his as he cleared his throat.

“Listen, sweetheart, I got something to tell you.”

“No, I do too,” you replied, hands fidgeting underneath the table. Normally, this wouldn’t be such a big deal, but this was Rick you were telling. Someone you actually care for. You both paused for a moment, urging the other to speak; however, that was put on hold as you saw something glisten in the moonlight out of the corner of your eye before noticing that it was quiet. Too quiet, you thought to yourself before a rain of bullets ripped through the window. Falling to the floor, you glanced over to Rick who too, looked over to you.

“I’m a secret agent.”

“I do special ops,” you both said at the same time, his news not new to you, but yours was to him.

“For how long?” He asked loudly, army crawling to a secret stash of guns as you copied his movements, reaching for your own.

“15 years,” you stated, loading some guns and grabbing a couple of knives as he cocked some guns.

“Shit. You’ve been lying to me this whole time?”

“Rick, you have been too, this is not the time and place for this conversation. There’s a secret door in the kitchen that will lead to the sewer, we can make it out of here,” you mentioned as he glared at you with mistrust in his eyes before giving in and nodding. Crawling your way to the secret door, you quickly stood up and shot your gun in the general vicinity of the advancing adversaries before you went down the stairs into the small basement with Rick following you. Turning to open the lid, you were stopped as a body was pressed against you and a gun to your temple. Staring into his hazel eyes, you noticed slight flecks of green and brown that you had come to love.

“How can I trust you?” He seethed as you didn’t try to fight back.

“Rick, if I was here to kill you, I would’ve. I’m an agent, yes, but I wasn’t assigned to kill you. Please, let’s just get to safety before we go into this,” you begged as he nodded, opening the lid to the sewer before jumping in, trying to not gag at the stench. Turning on the flashlight, you and Rick made your way through the tunnels before you found the exit you designated for something like this. Climbing up the ladder, you looked behind you to make sure he was following you, and when you saw he was, you opened the hatch and climbed out into the crisp autumn night. Climbing out after you, he looked at you, feelings confused as to what to do with you.

“You got a safe house?” He asked as you nodded, starting to walk the way of the house before he grabbed your arm and shook his head.

“It might be safer if we went to Belle Reve.”

“Show me the way.”

----------

Stepping out of the shower, you wringed out your hair with a towel as you made your way into the small room with an office attached to it.

“So this is where you sleep on the nights you can’t come home,” you quipped as he shot you a glare, cleaning the water off of his guns.

“Home,” he scoffed, clicking the barrel back into place, “what a joke.” Sighing, you took a seat next to him, flinching as he moved away from you.

“That’s what it is for me,” you tried to reason as he glared at you again, trying to remain stoic and not heartbroken that the love of his life is secretly an undercover agent.

“What am I to you?” His voice hoarse from the yelling and then the silent treatment. Placing a small hand on his shoulder, you were surprised when he didn’t move to remove it.

“My husband.”

“No, what am I to you? A target? A mission? Decoy?”

“Mission,” you muttered meekly as he ran a hand over his face before you continued, “4 years ago, the CIA debriefed me on you. West Point Grad. Special Ops officer. Leader of Task Force X. The latter being what they were concerned with. They wanted me to gather whatever I could on your team and report back to them. And for the first year, I did. I went through all of your records on your computers and then some, but what they didn’t count on was that…,” you hesitated for a moment, twirling your thumbs as he waited for you to continue, “...what I didn’t count on was that I would fall in love with you. Yes, you were my mission, but what I feel for you is real. Hell, those assholes who were shooting at us were probably after me,” you finished as you took a breath, feeling his calculating eyes scope you out, trying to tell if what you were saying was real or not.

“Why would they be shooting at you,” came out his gruff question as you turned your head to focus on him.

“Probably found out the information I supplied was falsified. The first year of information was all correct, but once I realized that I did, in fact, love you and was not clouded by hormones, I stopped providing correct information.”

“Why would you be clouded by hormones?”

“I was pregnant,” you whispered, moving to clutch your stomach where the baby died inside of you.

“What?” Rick asked, scooting closer to you, not sure if he heard you correctly.

“I was pregnant with your kid. The CIA found out and terminated the pregnancy,” admitting the horrors of what the agency did to you brought up memories of the procedure. Your eyes filled with tears as you remembered the intense pain that accompanied the loss of your child.

“Shit, baby,” Rick whispered, finally letting his guard down and believing you as he watched the way your eyes glossed over. I know that look all too well, he thought before pulling you into his arms and running his hand through your hair as you broke down. Tears poured down your face as he gently shushed you, slightly rocking his body with yours.

“I’m sorry, Rick. I really am. I really do love you, you have to believe me,” you begged through sobs as he paused for a second, realizing that he didn’t care about your past and your initial mission and that all he cared about in that moment was his wife in his arms.

“It’s alright baby, I understand. We’ll make this work,” he whispered against the top of your head, rubbing circles into your back. After a while, he had moved you and him up against the bed so that you were lying against his chest as his arms wrapped themselves around you.

“Rick,” you called out from his chest. Moving to look down at you, he brushed a strand of wet hair from your face.

“Yeah baby?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too,” kissing the top of your head, he rubbed your back again as he listened to your breathing become quiet and unnoticeable. Noting that you had fallen asleep, he took the opportunity to shut his eyes and let his mind carry him into a dull slumber.

Author’s Note: AHHH Hope you enjoy!!!

[writingtoforgetreality]

Faking To Pretend (Steve Rogers x Reader)

Request: cathy cathy cathy here i am with another request *sigh* i cant help myself your writing is just too good

i was wondering if i might request a steve rogers x reader fic where maybe reader and steve are paired up for a mission and have to pretend to be married (undercover) and some thing happen to kind of force them to admit their feelings for each other (maybe one of them gets injured? or kidnapped idk you do what you want to 😂) anyways LOVE YOU SO MUCH ❤️❤️ (by @msmarvelsmain), [Marvel-Masterlist]

Summary: Fake engagements, wedding plans & an undercover mission that jeopardized your well-being in the blink of an eye. Throughout it all, you somehow had to hide the fact that your feelings for Steve were just friendly, nothing more.

Words: 8,610

Warnings: language, angst, fluff, humor, argument, brief mentions of drugs, undercover mission (engagement & wedding plans), female pronouns used, that's pretty much it

[Mimi…this happens when our ideas get mixed up. LOVE YOU TOO!]

If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤

The familiar sound of a notification emanated from your phone. You deposited the book you had been immersed in onto the mattress & replaced it with the device. It confused you for a second when you noticed Tony being the one to message you. After all, you were literally in the same building.

Stark: meeting in 5.

(Y/N): you do know that you could tell me in person, right? just knock or something.

Stark: you’re too far away.

(Y/N): two doors, stark. TWO!

Stark: meeting in 4.

(Y/N): i hate you.

A loud sigh escaped through your lips. Typical Tony. Two could play that game. You planned on arriving right in time, not earlier. Maybe a few seconds too late. Anything to mess with him. At least he could get a taste of his own medicine that way.

“You’re a minute late.” Tony commented when he watched you walk inside the room. Your arms crossed over your chest as you leaned your shoulder against the door frame.

“You’re lucky I came in the first place.” you remarked. “Besides, I’m the first one here. Mission alone?” you questioned, raising your eyebrows while expectantly waiting for his answer. It was not usual for you to go alone. Except if the mission concerned grabbing pizza from the place down the block. You hoped for him that he did not pull that card, though.

“No but I wanted to discuss it with you before the others- oh, never mind.” Tony stopped talking when three more figures entered the room, brushing past your frame without paying too much attention to you. Sam. Bucky. Steve. What a damn combination. That was your team? Well, good luck. Everyone got seated on the chairs circling the big table but you stood your ground in the doorway. Steve patted the free chair next to his side, eyes flickering up to yours. A silent invitation you politely declined by shaking your head but you made sure that he could detect your small smile. Tony did not seem to mind & went straight ahead into explaining the mission you four had to perform. Most of the time, you zoned off though you really did try your hardest to stay focused. But when you glanced between the men in the room, you already knew the chaos that would come with them.

Basically, the team came across a signal emitting from the back of a small shop. From what you knew so far, it was some sort of a database that saved a whole lot of criminals. Some of them who you had fought in the past & some of them who you had never heard of but they sounded incredibly dangerous nevertheless.

“Question.” one of your hands raised & you waited for them to look at you.

“Go for it.” Tony pointed over to you, letting out a low breath because you were behaving as if you were in class & needed permission before speaking up.

“Why do Steve & I have to be the ones engaged?” normally, you would not care about undercover missions. But when said mission had you teamed up & fake-engaged to Steve? Well, you had a hard time separating work from personal feelings. Not that anything was going on between you guys but you would not lie if you said that you wanted to change it.

“What, do you want Sam & Bucky to be the couple in question?” Stark, in return, asked another question & you rolled your eyes.

“No, of course not.” that earned you disagreements from both, Sam & Bucky. Steve simply sat by, chuckling quietly while observing your conversation quietly.

“And Steve & you are close. It’ll be easier for you guys to pretend.” Tony casually stated & you had to fight the urge to avert your gaze. If you did, they sure as hell would realize something being wrong with you. And you were not about to be embarrassed in front of them. Maybe you already were but at least they did not know about it. After all, you were a fucking great actor.

“Uh-huh.” so you played it cool. As cool as the situation allowed you to be. “But why do we need Laurel & Hardy with us then?”

“Because I said so.” Tony used your most hated phrase & he damn well knew it. After a short pause, he turned a bit more serious again. “They’ll be Steve’s best men.”

“Wait.” your hand raised & you closed your eyes for a second. “Steve has two best men & I’m not allowed a maid of honor?” now everyone inside the meeting room was chuckling. Everyone but you.

“Pretty much, yeah.” Stark shrugged, brushing it off as nothing though he was aware that you were annoyed by his plan already.

“How is that fair?” you could not stop asking questions, somehow hoping that if you continued, you could get out of this successfully. Deep down, it was clear that the mission had been planned & you could not do anything to change it. Not even a single thing.

“It isn’t.” Tony admitted with a brief nod of his head. “But you’ll need Sam & Bucky on this one. So stop bitching around.”

“These are gonna be some long ass days…” you mumbled, putting your face in your hands in frustration.

“Enjoy!” & with that, Tony dismissed you, leaving you behind dumbfounded.

Sam & Bucky exited the room soon after. Steve & you were the only ones left.

“(Y/N)?” Steve’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts. Immediately, the frown was replaced by a genuine grin. You found yourself in this state whenever he looked at you like that. Whenever he talked to you, actually. “Everything okay?” his eyes showed concern. They usually did when he noticed you zoning off.

“Huh?” you asked before the words had processed. “Oh, yeah. Of course.”

“I’m sorry about.” his hands gestured wildly, searching for the most suitable words. “The mission being uncomfortable for you.”

“No, it’s not uncomfortable.” you tried to explain yourself. “Just, sometimes I feel like Stark just wants to mess with me.”

“Well, if it helps cheering you up…I’ll behave.” he winked at you playfully & you hated how your body reacted to such simple movements.

“I’m sure you will.” you snickered. “My true worries are your best men.” a sly smirk spread onto your face & Steve could not hold back a chuckle.

“Yeah, I can’t control them.” he agreed with you. “I’ll see you around.” he walked past you, turning around one last time. You simply nodded at him, not trusting your own voice. While you handled the situation as best as you could, you wanted to avoid an awkward goodbye. Besides, you would set out first thing in the morning. You needed some alone time before shit started going down. Not that you expected this mission to fail. The exact opposite, actually. The four of you worked incredibly well together. Compensating other’s mistakes & improvising fast if needed. Mostly, though, you ended up straying from the actual plan & that was what had you worried. Because if you did not stick to it, things could turn real uncomfortable real quick.

As if the mission itself was not demanding enough, the car ride to even arrive at your destination was ten times worse. Steve was behind the wheel & you were lucky that you occupied the passenger’s seat & did not have to sit in the back with either Sam or Bucky. They were children, really. Right now, it felt like Steve & you were the parents of two incredibly challenging kids who could not shut their mouths. Not even for a second. Steve succeeded with ignoring them & he was concentrating on the road so that gave him another thing to do. You, on the other hand, were stuck without any distractions except for the bickering that was currently going on in the backseat. But you knew better than to interrupt them because if you did, it would only turn worse. So you took a few deep breaths & settled further into your seat, closing your eyes to maybe rest a bit before your arrival. What you did not notice was Steve glancing over to your figure, a smile playing at the corners of his lips as he recognized you attempting to sleep during the stress inside the car.

At least the hotel Tony checked you in was worth it. Fake-engagements had their perks. Especially if a luxurious suite was a part of it. Sam & Bucky were somewhere in another room but Steve & you, the two of you pretty much occupied an entire floor. That was how huge your room was. You did not even have to carry your own suitcases. There was an employee who helped you with that. What a nice way of living that was. If only you were not pretending. But why were you even thinking that way? You had a mission to perform & more importantly, you could not fail. And you would not if you solely focused on your task. It could not be that hard, right? You had done something similar multiple times before. It should be an easy one for you. But it was not. And the main reason was Steve. It was wrong of you to put the blame on him but how could you not if you literally had to pretend to be his fiancée? It felt like a secret wish you did not dare to voice. And yet he was here right in front of you, in the same room. A place you were supposed to share for the next few days. And you somehow had to play it cool. There was only one outcome. Burying your feelings deep down in order to not jeopardize the mission or your team. No matter how much your heart protested.

“(Y/N)?” you heard Steve’s voice as you were stepping out of the shower. Only a towel was covering your still wet body but you feared that, if you did not open the door right away, you were in danger somehow. That was your mind’s conclusion. Which really did not make any sense if you gave it a second thought. You opened the door a crack, risking a glance outside & eased when you only saw Steve on the other end. It was a natural reaction for you to push the door open wider. But you kind of forgot that you were not wearing any clothes except for that poor excuse of a hotel towel which was way too small for your liking. Steve’s eyes widened & he could not stop from letting them flicker up & down your body. You squirmed under his stare, arms coming to cross over your chest in order to keep the fabric in place. A few moments of awkward silence ticked by & you wanted it to end. So you coughed & gained his attention once more. His eyes were locking with yours & while you usually lost yourself in them, you were way more comfortable than having him eyeing your every part in great detail.

“You needed anything?” you stuttered out, hoping your voice did not sound all too weak but even to yourself, you were aware that you were failing.

“Um, yeah…” his cheeks turned rosy. One of his hands came up to scratch the back of his neck. “But I probably should’ve waited a couple minutes longer.” he should have but it was too late now anyway.

“If it’s nothing too important then I’ll go get dressed real quick, alright? I’ll take like two minutes.” you attempted an honest smile but it was underlined with a hint of embarrassment that was definitely detectable. Steve simply nodded, stepping back a bit so you could close the door once more. Your back rested against the wooden surface & you quietly sighed out with closed eyes. That was not what you expected. Fingers crossed nothing between you two would turn awkward from now on. But then again, he was your best friend & it was not like you were completely naked. Just barely dressed but covered enough so he did not see anything. You would be just fine.

With a decent outfit & regained confidence, you exited the bathroom & found Steve sitting at the edge of the bed, looking down at his hands where he shifted a small package between his fingers. His head snapped up when he heard your footsteps. You two exchanged a smile & it was then when you knew that your shamefaced encounter would not change the bond you shared. It was as if everything was the same old. And it was probably for the better.

“Was that why you needed something from me?” you gestured to the little box & Steve was brought back to reality. Right, there was a reason why he wanted to talk to you in the first place.

“Tony gave it to me right before we left.” he stood up & approached you with long steps. “Said it’d be more believable if you wore one.” Steve stretched out his hand so you could take the black package from him. With curious eyes & delicate fingers, you took it from him. Your eyebrows raised as your eyes met his but he only shrugged at you without giving you an actual explanation. Carefully, you uncapped the box & were shocked when you noticed the small, sparkling ring inside. The colors of the rainbow reflected in the diamond adorning the silver jewelry. It looked way too expensive for it to be a fake one.

“Tony wants me to wear an engagement ring?” you asked even though it was more than obvious. Maybe you just needed reassurance.

“Makes it more believable.” Steve repeated.

“It probably cost more than what I’ll earn in a lifetime.” you chuckled & closed the lid again.

“So you’re not gonna wear it?” he questioned cautiously. For a flicker, he turned insecure because maybe the reason why you refused to wear it was because you did not want people to believe he was your fiancé.

“Of course I’m gonna wear it! It’s stunning. Just…” you paused briefly & bit your bottom lip to contemplate your next words. “It’s expensive. I can’t risk losing it. I’ll put it on whenever we’re outta this room, though. I won’t be the one blowing our cover.” you assured & laughed because you were indirectly blaming Sam or Bucky to mess up. Steve silently agreed with you but did not say anything else as you situated the ring on the nightstand right next to the large bed. It was late, the moon already doing its job with providing a pleasant light that shone through the blinds & illuminated the gloomy suite. For tomorrow’s mission, you needed to be well-rested to fully function.

Steve insisted that you should occupy the bed on your own. He would be perfectly fine on the couch. The cushions of it were incredibly soft, Tony had paid a fortune after all, you still felt poorly for sleeping in the bed alone. Tomorrow would most likely bring him back pain. He was not the youngest soul, after all. Not that you would ever tell him. It was not meant as offending, though. If you were the one on the couch, your back would kill you as well. But you were too much of a coward to suggest that there was enough space for two people. That & you were scared that he did not even want to share in the first place. That could be an intelligible possibility. Your overthinking consumed quite a bit of time because when you heard Steve’s soft & even breaths, you knew that you were too late already. Maybe tomorrow? Maybe you could gain enough courage to ask him tomorrow. Why were you even so eager to have him beside you? What kind of question was that? You were very well aware why. The conversation you held with yourself in your mind came to an abrupt stop as exhaustion overcame & lulled you into a dreamless night.

Constant knocking stirred you awake. You groaned into your pillow because you were still tired but someone decided to shorten your rest. Assuming Steve was already up, you peeked over the blankets covering your body. You were right, he was opening the door. Appearing like he had not just got out of bed. Or off of the couch, in his case. Steve tried to be as quiet as possible, thinking that you were still passed out on the bed.

“G’morning.” you mumbled out & wiped your eyes with the back of your hands. Steve smiled at you. Right now, you looked cute. Pissed off because it was too early but that did not matter when you were all wrapped up in the blankets.

“Coffee?” he suggested & you immediately got into a sitting position at the mention of it. He had his answer then.

“Wait. What is this?” you gestured to the serving trolley Steve was pushing over to the bed. It was obvious what it was but you were bewildered because you did not expect him to order breakfast.

“Tony took our undercover mission very serious.” he shrugged, leaving the food next to you & wanting to grab a few things to eat by the table.

“No.” you shook your head & halted his movements. “I mean, come on. When was the last time you had breakfast in bed?” you patted the spot next to you. Steve paused for a second but after a short while of contemplation, he agreed & got seated on the mattress. Breakfast in bed. That itself would have been amazing but with Steve? It was almost as if a dream of yours got fulfilled. You needed to stop thinking that way. Undercover missions meant faking, pretending. Why were you struggling so much this time?

“I look like a bitch.” you commented once you got into your undercover outfit. Sam & Bucky were already in your suite & they complained about what a poor excuse their room was compared to yours.

“So what’s different?” Sam joked & earned a slap from you.

“First of all, if we don’t wear what Tony prepared for us, people will notice. And (Y/N)? You don’t look like a bitch, you’re good.” Steve commented & even though his words were not necessarily cute, they still did things to you.

“Woah, Steve. Nice ring you picked out there, pal.” Bucky spotted the diamond on your finger & could not help himself but tease you two about it.

“Could we all just focus on the mission?” funny thing that you were the one saying that. Considering that you probably struggled the most out of the four of you.

“Okay, got it. (Y/N) doesn’t look like a bitch but she acts like one.” Sam smirked & started sprinting through the suite when you took off to catch him. Steve & Bucky shook their heads & chuckled at your childish behavior. None of this was new, though. Things usually went that way when you were sent on a mission together.

“The signal comes from the back of this shop.” Steve whispered, all of you trying to stay undetected for the time being so you could discuss the plan further.

“It’s a pastry shop?” you pointed out & suddenly, three men were rolling their eyes at you. “What?”

“You expected something that sold knives?” Sam teased.

“Maybe, I don’t know.” you whisper-yelled.

“Sam, Bucky. You two enter the back while (Y/N) & I distract the guy.” Steve described your plan once more & you all nodded, each understanding their task. While you did not exactly know what you would do to grab the clerk’s attention, you were certain that you could think of something. Improvising was something you were skilled at, you simply hoped that Steve would not stand in the way.

“Welcome! What can I help y’all with?” the almost sweet voice of the man behind the counter was not what you would expect when you looked him up & down. At the same time, he really appeared out of place in a shop like that.

“Yes!” your enthusiasm, well fake-enthusiasm, was more than obvious & you wrapped your arms around Steve’s torso to get into character. “My fiancé & I are looking for some pies for our upcoming wedding.” Steve let you do the talking, his only response being a nod, underlined with a genuine smile.

“Ah, young love.” the guy clicked his tongue & shook his head slightly. “We have a variety of our best wedding cakes right here.” he pointed to a selection behind a class cabinet.

“No, no, no.” you contradicted. “We’d love to have pie at our wedding. I saw you have some delicious looking options over there.” you gestured to the other side of the shop.

“Pie at a wedding? Isn’t that a little unconventional?” the seller raised his eyebrows, seemingly suspicious & it looked like Steve noticed that as well.

“I think we’ll do fine with cak-“ but before he had the chance to finish, you nudged him with your elbow & shot him a look. “I’m sure your cake is great but pie reflects us better.” Steve corrected himself quickly once he realized what you were planning to do.

“Alrighty, then please follow me over there.” the place behind the counter was now free so Sam & Bucky had a clear path to enter. “Any preferences?”

“Anything, really.” you encouraged the man who opened the showcase. He was so busy with his task, Sam & Bucky had it easy to break in. The corners of your eyes spotted their figures. Now they just needed more time to successfully get the information you all needed.

“Can I ask y’all something?” the clerk spoke up after handing you yet another sample of pie. Truthfully, it was a dream come true. Spending time with Steve while eating pie after pie? If only you did not have to pretend. Did you pretend? Or did you fake to pretend? Your brain did not make sense anymore.

“Go for it.” Steve encouraged.

“You’re the first couple to ask for pie samples. What’s up with that?” the man asked curiously, no longer looking at you like you were suspicious but genuinely interested.

“Well.” Steve chuckled & you could not help but let your gaze flicker up to his face. “We are a very unusual couple. Pie at a wedding is unusual. It’s perfect.” while he spoke those last words, his eyes locked with yours & you could have sworn that time halted right then & there. But you had to snap out of it. For the sake of this mission. A look over the shop owner’s shoulder confirmed that you did not have to pretend too much longer. Sam & Bucky were already on their way out again, turning their heads in your direction to silently confirm that they were done. Successful? That you could not tell just yet.

A few minutes & another pie later, you looked at your watch on your wrist & gasped exaggeratingly.

“What is it, sweetheart?” Steve asked & you almost gasped again, though this time, it would have been for an entirely different reason.

“Um, it’s late, we need to head to the thing.” you were doing so well & now, at the end, you managed to slip.

“The thing?” Steve inquired & by the look on your face he could tell that you were overwhelmed & could not think of a proper excuse. “Oh, the fitting.” he quickly added, hoping nobody would ask which kind of fitting. Seemed like you two were lucky today.

“In that case…I’ll let y’all go. Do you want me to put the rest of the samples in a box for you to take home? That way you have more time to figure out which one to choose.” he reasoned & Steve & you nodded gratefully. Behind the counter, he worked quickly & handed you a paper bag in no time.

“Thanks, man. We’ll get back to you.” Steve waved, putting an arm over your shoulder as you exited the shop. The moment you were out, you could finally breathe again. Missions made you extremely nervous. Undercover missions such as this one, actually. During the others you were perfectly fine.

“Thanks for helping me out back in there.” you chuckled once you were out of sight.

“Pie? Really? Wouldn’t have surprised me if he just saw through us right away.” Steve said with a smile on his face. Good, so he was not mad at you.

“In my defense…The pies were at the other end of the shop so I helped Sam & Bucky.” you finished your sentence but it sounded as if you wanted to add something.

“And you love pie?” Steve did not even have to ask, he knew you well enough.

“And I love pie.” you repeated & laughed. Steve still had not let go of you, hugging you to the side of his body. You did not seem to mind so he kept continuing to hold you close.

Steve placed the paper bag on the small table right in the entrance area. Immediately, you went to the bathroom to rid yourself of that stupid outfit you had to wear & threw on something more comfortable. Once you exited, Sam was already in your suite. The four of you decided to have the meeting in your room because it was bigger & the others kind of wanted to move in with you.

“What’s in there?” Sam asked, pointing to the brown paper bag.

“Pie.” you simply answered without much thought. Sam hummed but did not say anything else. Steve & you were in the living room area, waiting for Bucky to show up so you could start discussing more about this mission. Specifically what they found out during their inspection. The creak of the door gained your attention & you looked up only to find Bucky entering. Your gaze then flickered to Sam who was hiding behind the door, pie in one hand, his free hand came to his mouth, telling you to be quiet. It all happened too fast, Bucky was in Sam’s sight & in an instant, there was a pie right in the super soldier’s face. Steve came right in time to watch the scene, his previous intention to greet his best friend completely forgotten now.

“Sam.” Bucky growled, way too quiet for your liking. But you could not focus on his warning right now. You glanced over your shoulder & noticed Steve’s almost sad expression. The only one who could not control his laughter was Sam. He was practically on the floor because he was laughing so hard. The only emotion running through you was anger.

“I. WANTED. TO. EAT. THAT.” you were seething & all three men turned their heads at your tone.

“Sorry?” Sam tried but you were having none of it.

“NO YOU’RE NOT!” you pretty much yelled.

“I’m gonna kill you.” Bucky whispered & Sam took that as his cue to run away, through that labyrinth of your suite. Bucky sprinted after him, leaving Steve to shake his head at their childish behavior.

“(Y/N)?” Steve’s voice was soft & yet it did nothing to calm you down. You really did love pie & you had been excited to eat the rest of it in bed tonight ever since you left that shop.

“WHAT?” you snapped back, only now realizing that it was not Steve’s fault. “I’m sorry.” you added almost inaudible.

“It’s fine.” he raised his eyebrows & opened his arms. You were not sure why but Steve wanted to hug you & you never declined one of his hugs. So you fell into his embrace, both of you silently knowing that this action was not because of a stupid pie. Though you had to admit that you were mad at Sam that you could not eat the rest anymore. This hug held a deeper meaning & for a few seconds, you let yourself enjoy it. Until a loud screech from the other room snapped you back into the present. Steve & you parted unwillingly. You had to, before Sam & Bucky ended up killing each other.

The four of you sat around the coffee table, you occupying the floor while the others each took a seat on the oversized couch. A pout was still very much present on your face. Yes, you were mad at Sam but you had other things, more important things, to deal with right now. Revenge could come later.

“So?” Steve was the one to speak up after nobody else made a move to do so.

“Sam & I managed to break in.” Bucky casually said as if you did not see that to begin with. That was the plan after all.

“But?” your tone was still harsh but you tried your hardest to push that aside.

“We couldn’t hack the system.” Sam finished. “That’s your specialty.”

“Okay, wait.” you closed your eyes briefly. “You wanna tell me that it took you what felt like an eternity to check out the back room only to sit here now & tell us that you couldn’t get the information?” you concluded with a loud sigh.

“In our defense…We know that we’re definitely looking at the right place.” Bucky commented, careful to not anger you any further.

“So what do you suggest?” Steve asked the two men.

“We’ll go there again tonight. All of us. (Y/N) here hacks the system & we’ll see what we can do after that.” Sam established the new plan & you nodded in understanding.

“I still hate you for wasting the pie on Bucky.” you crossed your arms over your chest.

“I promise I’ll make it up to you.” Sam chuckled though you knew he was not planning on keeping his promise.

“Alright, please go back to your room before I do something I might regret later.” you motioned for Sam & Bucky to leave & they did after arranging a time to meet again.

Since you had the brains in this group, it was an easy one for you to deactivate the security cameras without being seen. After that, you went on to the alarm system & turned it off as well. Which meant that you were free to go. It was the dead of the night, nobody was around. You could enter without a single soul watching you. Steve pushed his body weight against the back door. Once, twice. Until it opened.

“You do know that I could’ve picked the lock, right?” your voice made him spin around. It looked like he only now thought of that but he brushed it off, pretending that this was his plan & it worked out the way he wanted to. The room appeared rather normal. Nothing that caught your eye, nothing that was out of place. An office like you had seen multiple times. The computer was turned off so you changed that real quick, waiting for the screens to light up.

“Earlier today, it wasn’t protected by a password.” Sam furrowed his eyebrows.

“Yeah, dumbass. Because the computer was on already. Give me a second.” you opened various drawers to look for a sign as to what the password could possibly be. The others let you do your work, not daring to speak up to interrupt you. “There we go.” you found a small paper in between some notebooks. Not necessarily the safest place to keep secret things but you would not judge. The home screen showed up. Again, nothing special. Simply a picture of flowers. Weird for the guy who worked here but that was none of your concerns.

“And?” Steve broke the silence.

“There are some decrypted files…” you mumbled, sitting down on the office chair. This would take a bit longer, you assumed.

“Can you get access?” another question from Steve. At least the children were quiet for now.

“Of course I can.” you smiled triumphantly. “Give me a few minutes, though.” you were so focused on the screen, you did not see the others nodding. It was tough, you were not going to lie, but it was you who hacked into the system. You never failed with that.

“Huh.” you breathed out. Truthfully, you were overwhelmed with all the information you were receiving with one look only. Steve, Sam & Bucky each took a place behind you, staring at the screen curiously. “Guys? That’s…scary.” you chuckled uncomfortably.

“What is this?” Bucky mumbled quietly but since it was so silent in this room, everyone heard. This was way bigger than you initially thought. Once you made it back to your hotel, you needed to call Tony.

“(Y/N).” Steve shoved you away gently, taking the mouse in his hand to enlarge what caught his attention. You had to gulp at what you saw. What the hell were you doing on there? Steve’s muscles tensed, you could tell by one single look at him. It took a few deep breaths from your side until you started the process of transferring the information on your little flash drive. ”(Y/N).” Steve tried again, this time a bit louder.

“Yeah, I know.” you answered, ignoring your fast beating heart as much as it was possible. “I got everything, let’s head back.” it was clear that you wanted to leave this place behind & you were the first who made it out into the cool night air. Breathing worked easier out here.

“Hey, Tony.” by now, you were back in your hotel room, picking up your phone to call Tony once Steve went into the bathroom.

“(Y/N)! Successful?” he asked, already thinking that you finished this mission & started heading home.

“Not yet. Seems like this is bigger than we thought…” you trailed off at the end, not really wanting to explain what you found out.

“Bigger how? (Y/L/N), come on.” Tony urged & heard you sigh over the phone.

“It was at the back of the shop, that was correct. I hacked into the system & …it looks like it’s some sort of website where people can pay beforehand, assigning criminals for certain acts. It’s huge, Tony. Tons of people have an account & there are so many new assignments every minute…I’ll send you the data in a second, okay? We’ll check out the coordinates we found tomorrow. We think it could lead us to a very important member of this website. And maybe the guy from the shop has something to do with it, though I’m not sure which part he plays in all of that.” you left out a very significant detail & hoped he would not ask more questions.

“There’s something else.” he stated, knowing you better even though he could not read your body language like he usually did.

“That’s all. I promise we’ll finish this missi-“ your phone was taken from you but before you could complain about it, Steve continued the call with Tony.

“Someone instructed to eliminate (Y/N) because, & I quote, “She’s too pretty to be part of the Avengers”. That assignment was where we got the coordinates from. Means the guy from the shop probably manages all of that but he isn’t the one we’re looking for.” silence enveloped you two & you figured that Tony was talking on the other end. “Yeah, sure. That’s the top priority. We’ll work on that & you start looking into the website.” Steve ended the call & threw your phone on the mattress next to where you were sitting.

“What the hell, Steve?” you were furious because he acted differently. And not in a good way. The only response from him was a cold look. He then moved out to the balcony that was attached to your suite. It was unusual for him to be so distanced, especially when it came to you. And you were hesitant to follow him. Considering his body language, he was mad at you. Why? You had no idea. Did you do anything to piss him off? Your gaze fell to your hands in your lap. The diamond on your ring finger sparkled beautifully. You recalled how it felt to be next to Steve, in that small pastry shop where you ate pie after pie to pick the perfect one for your wedding. This was something that could never be. It was all pretending but why did it feel so real to you? Steve probably was not struggling as much as you were & you hated yourself for it.

A hand on his shoulder startled him. Steve eased when he found you standing next to him. The sun would begin rising soon but the both of you were not tired at all. Though the reasons were different. Steve’s mind was still occupied with the information that there was someone out there who paid an awful lot of money to have you eliminated. You, on the other hand, struggled with keeping your feelings buried. Your hands held onto the railing. The movement made Steve look down where the engagement ring was still adorning your hand. You had not taken it off yet. In fact, he only realized that now, you even wore it during your mission of breaking into the shop. Sam & Bucky did not comment on it & to Steve, it was almost…normal. But you did say you would not keep it on you unless you were outside, pretending to be engaged to him.

“What did I do?” your voice interrupted his racing thoughts.

“What?” Steve was confused that you believed you did something wrong.

“Ever since we got outta that shop, you’ve been distant & cold. Was it something I did?” you kept looking straight forward, not wanting to hold eye contact because you feared the worst. That you managed to mess up somehow & Steve was angry at you.

“You didn’t do anything.” his body faced yours & you could practically feel his eyes on you. His intense stare made your breath hitch up.

“You sure about that?” finally, you turned around. Your bodies were almost touching, you underestimated the distance between you two.

“You act as if you don’t care.” his statement had you furrow your eyebrows. He rolled his eyes but continued anyway. “Someone paid a huge amount of money. To have you killed. And here you are, pretending that it doesn’t matter. It’s something you’re really good at, huh? Pretending.”

“The hell is that supposed to mean?” your voice raised slightly but you still wanted to keep it down, you were outside, everyone could hear your conversation.

“See? You’re doing it again.” Steve called you out. “We found that piece of information by accident.”

“I’m aware.” you arms went to hug yourself. A distraction that barely did its job.

“So your life means nothing to you.” his words were harsh. And if you were honest, they hurt. A lot.

“I never said that.” you hated how your voice wavered. How you could not appear to be the strong woman right now.

“You act like it, though.” with each word he said, your heart broke a little more. If only he knew. “I understand. This whole pretending thing is something you’re good at. This mission showed that much. But this is real, (Y/N). So, for a second, stop pretending & act like you care!”

“STOP!” you yelled out of breath. Instinctively, Steve took a step back, eyes wide by your sudden outburst. “Just stop.” this time, you spoke it much softer. Your gaze flickered to the ground, head hanging low.

“I’m sorr-“ Steve was interrupted.

“I said stop.” you repeated. “Steve, we’re on a mission. We’re supposed to put a stop to this shit. None of this has anything to do with me pretending to be your fiancée or me pretending that I don’t give a damn about my life.”

“Are you sure about that?” he emphasized. One hand went to the diamond on your finger & slipped it off. You made a fist around it, though it was not with a lot of pressure. You did not intend to damage the ring.

“I might be good at pretending but I’m no professional.” you admitted. Steve grew more & more confused. He did not know you were talking about the fact that you were not pretending to be engaged to him. To you, it felt natural, it felt good. Right now, though, you did pretend that none of this faced you. But Steve could not tell the difference.

“Can I be honest with you?” he waited until your eyes met his.

“Go ahead.” you waved your hand for him to continue.

“I was cold towards you because once we found out about that, you didn’t say anything about it. And I can’t believe that you just don’t care about it. About your life. I can’t. You don’t have to pretend when you’re with me, you know that. We’re not engaged right now. No undercover mission. You & me. So please be honest with me.” he took your hands into his & you did not flinch back. The touch grounded you but it was no lie that you were having a hard time to be completely honest with him.

“Why do you care so much?” maybe not the smartest thing to ask. Steve’s reaction was proof enough. He let go of your hands, turned his back towards you & let out a breathless laugh. His hands raised to his hair, messing it up in the slightest. Seconds ticked by but it felt like hours until he spun around once more.

“BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!” it seemed like that confession made the both of you stop dead in your tracks. It was not the first time Steve said those words but his tone differed from the previous ones. Still, chances were high he addressed your friendship with that. Because you were friends. Simple friends. “Say something.” he grew desperate when you did not reply.

“I-I don’t know what you want me to say. That I love you, too? You know that, Steve.” your words were steady, calculated. It was too soon to get your hopes up.

“How far do I have to go for you to realize that I want you?” he approached you, hesitancy in his steps. “Didn’t it feel natural to you when we acted like a couple? Because, I can’t keep that up anymore, I can’t. Tell me you don’t feel the same & I’ll back off. We can forget this right now, we don’t have to talk about it anymore. But if you-“ his speech was cute but you had to be close to him now that he finally confessed that there was more between you two. You cupped his cheeks & pulled him in to kiss him. Steve was shocked at first but it did not take him too long until his hands rested on your waist, tightening his grip on you. After parting, Steve kept his forehead against yours. Both of you had your eyes closed, breathing the same air. You imagined this exact moment more than once. But never before had it played out like that. Not that you were complaining, your feelings were finally out there.

“You were wrong, you know?” as much as you enjoyed the silence, there was still something you wanted him to know.

“Wrong about what?” he opened his eyes to look at every feature of you. Because it was no longer forbidden, he was allowed to do that now.

“I didn’t pretend while we were in the shop pie tasting.” you admitted, a small smile playing at the corner of your lips. “I faked pretending, if that makes sense…But, after I saw the bounty on my head, I started pretending.” he nodded at you, squeezing your waist once to encourage you to keep talking. “Steve? I’m scared.”

“It’s okay.” Steve’s arms went around your shoulders, pulling you close once again. His chin on your head. If only that could dispose of all of your worries. The only thing he could do was letting you hold onto him.

Steve did not sleep on the couch that night. Not because he did not want to but because you insisted to have him close. It was not the first time you two shared a bed. Sometimes, when missions did not allow you anything else, you ended up next to each other. Tonight felt different, better. Because there was no longer a weight on your heart. Were you two in a relationship already? Maybe you had been for some time but the two of you were too oblivious to notice. There was enough time to label whatever this was as soon as this mission was over. Your focus should solely be on this mission. Tons of lives depended on it. Yours included.

“You’re stubborn. Do you know that?” the next morning came sooner than you would have liked. No time for cuddling in bed, no time for breakfast. Two hours of sleep was all you got. But you had never felt this rested in your entire life. The reason was a certain super soldier. Not that you would ever admit that.

“Would I have chickened out if I didn’t know they were after me? No. I can handle myself.” Steve suggested for you to stay behind because they were looking for you. It could bring on unnecessary danger & he obviously needed you to be safe.

“But we know now.” Steve tried reasoning but it was useless, you already made your decision.

“Right. So it’s time to put a stop to it. Come on, Sam & Bucky are waiting for us.” you were out of the door before Steve found enough time to argue with you.

The drive to the coordinates was tense. Not even the kids in the back were joking around. Possibly because this mission turned into something way more hazardous. The situation between Steve & you was the same. Hence why nobody commented on it. After all, you pretty much confessed before there was an actual confession. Therefore, it was the same old. The only difference was your gut feeling that did not give you a hard time anymore. That was not entirely true. You had a bad gut feeling but for another reason.

“That’s the house?” you gestured to the building after the car came to a stop.

“This is it.” Steve confirmed.

“I don’t know why I expected some sort of villa.” Bucky commented while glancing out of the window.

“Maybe that would be too obvious. I mean, we do know that they receive the money beforehand, right? And I’m sure that the order to eliminate me wasn’t his first one.” you spotted Steve tensing up when you talked about that assignment. Your hand squeezed his shoulder & you hoped that your smile was convincing enough. You were alright & you would be after this mission. With Steve, Sam & Bucky on your side, you had nothing to fear. If push came to shove, they would go out of their ways to keep you safe.

“Steve?” Sam spoke up. “You know we need him alive, right?”

“Of course.” Steve nodded though his mind was contemplating going further than that. Unfortunately, you still had to figure out who was the one to assign this to the criminal. Tony was onto that, checking if there was more to find out about that anonymous account who paid the money. “A few punches won’t kill him.”

It was the break of dawn & the neighborhood was completely empty. The silence inside the car was interrupted by Steve’s sign to make a move. All of you stayed close together, you were not about to make the same mistake people did in horror movies. Besides, you felt safer with them around. A noise made you spin around. It was coming from down the hallway. Steve took the lead, you right behind him. Sam & Bucky trailing behind after you. A gun was clutched in your hand but you were not intending to use it today. Hopefully there was no need to. Steve shot you a look over his shoulder, silently telling you to be prepared. When he pushed the door open with his body weight this time, you did not tease him about it like you did when you broke into the back of the pastry shop the other night. The sight you were met with was…unexpected. There was a man sitting behind his computer. The room smelled like drugs. A mixture of multiple things you could not identify & did not even want to.

“Woah, you’re the Avengers.” he slurred his words. So he was drunk as well. “Hey, I’m supposed to kill you.” he pointed at your figure & instinctively, Steve stepped in front of you. Shielding your body with his.

“You sure that’s our guy?” Sam leaned closer to you & whispered. Your shoulders shrugged & you pointed over to the desk where a name tag was proudly displayed. Seemed like he was not the smartest guy if he used the same name for his account on that website. Your heartrate slowed down because you knew you were not in danger. Not right now. Steve approached the man, coming to a halt mere inches away from him. His hand balled into a fist & after one punch in the guy’s face, he was on the floor, unconscious.

“Huh.” you breathed out. “That was almost too easy.”

“Yeah, if we forget about the website where thousands of people assign offenders every single day.” Bucky was right, of course. You stumbled across something way bigger. Hopefully Tony had good news once you returned.

The police was called. They inspected the room & that guy really was everything but intelligent. He horded a file full of his assignments. He would not see the sunlight again, that much was sure. Steve & you waited outside, leaning on the hood of the car. Sam & Bucky were busy talking to the officers.

“Hey.” you started & nudged Steve with your elbow. “Is it appropriate to thank that asshole?”

“What for? For wanting to kill you?” he answered with furrowed eyebrows.

“No.” you chuckled. “But…if it were not for him, we wouldn’t have confessed.”

“There was a possibility that he was dangerous. Maybe we just caught him at a bad time.” Steve mumbled the last part.

“Let’s not worry about that, alright? I’m fine. See?” you gestured to your body, a big smile adorning your features.

“I know.” he nodded but it was obvious that he was still careful about this entire situation.

“I love you.” that seemed to do the job. His eyes met yours, his expression less tense & softer.

“I know that, too.” he smirked when you playfully slapped his chest.

“Steve, you ruined a very roman-“ his lips were on yours before you could finish your complaint. Steve was aware what he was doing, because he smiled into the kiss which caused you to giggle.

“I love you, too.” his lips still ghosted over yours. You could feel as his words left them. “Romantic enough?”

“I’m sure you can do better.” you pulled away & winked at him, moving away to join Sam & Bucky. Steve’s eyes followed your body & he shook his head at you. Yes, he did love you. A lot. And he was already planning how to make his next move even more romantic.

Published (05/18/2021) by Cathy

✨MY Ko-fi PAGE✨

Tags: @zestyemby, @captainxholmes, @met4no1a, @bibliophilewednesday, @weareironmanbitches, @n3ssm0nique, @2bornot2b, @iaalien, @bibliophilewednesday (thanks for your support <3)

[luminescentauthor]

random fun RatLD hcs

you came here for RatLD shitposts and that’s what you’re gonna get!

SPOILERS AND LOTS OF THEM BELOW THE CUT, IF U HAVEN’T SEEN IT YET PROCEED AT UR OWN RISK.

I refuse to post about this movie without acknowledging the cultural significance of the first SEA disney princess and I will continue to do so until people on this website start remembering that this movie is about amazing cultures and trust and overall a WHOLE lot more than just the sapphics (as great as they are.)

anyway, so, headcanon time, my dudes!

The Next Adventure

Talon is a total mess after everyone gets un-stoned. (Ok so just for posterity, my marvel fan brain just went “un-snapped” on instinct and I hate it here.) The two chiefs are fighting for control, and Noi, being a baby, is not really in a position to help (unlike Raya, Naamari, and Tong.)

As such, the crew has to go undercover in Talon to try and, you know, stop the chiefs from destroying their people with their infighting. Tong insists on coming. Naamari happened to be in Heart and gets dragged along by Sisu and Raya, complaining the whole time, but everyone knows she doesn’t mean it. Boun also shows up and exactly no one is surprised.

During this misadventure, Noi’s mother names Tong as Noi’s godfather/honorary uncle/whatever, undercover Naamari and Raya go “noooooo, we’re not the princesses of Fang and Heart, what on earth are you talking about???” on at least five separate occasions, and the crew discovers that Noi inherited her sticky fingers from her very clever mother. She’s basically a grade-A spy and thief but she’s also just like, genuinely a very nice woman.

Rayaari!

Raya and Naamari take a long time literally just figuring things out and reconstructing their friendship, because really, as much as I love sapphics, there’s also a whole lot of messy there, and because these are my headcanons, they work out their problems and have a healthy friendship for a couple years before any romance happens, because that’s how Real Life works and I don’t believe in ignoring those Pretty Important Things in fiction.

They do eventually start a relationship, but they take their time. A bit into it, Benja accidentally mentions that Raya told him she liked Naamari when they met. Naamari’s like “ha you did?” and Raya goes “BA NO.” Then Virana immediately says “oh yes, Naamari also liked her, she didn’t stop crying because she thought Raya turned to stone for like three days” and Raya goes “you did, hmm???” while Naamari turns bright red.

Before they start dating, as their feelings grow, they start calling each other “dep la” more and more and everyone is just kinda of like “oh my GOD just date already???”

Eventually Raya and Naamari get married and become the leaders of Kumandra. No I Won’t Change My Mind.

Unification of Kumandra

The unification of Kumandra felt a bit shoehorned, and I suspect the nations aren't united under one leader(s): it's more that they're now becoming close-knit again. Perhaps they have a meeting council of all their leaders that makes decisions that affect the whole land, otherwise that probably becomes a thing at some point.

When Kumandra eventually becomes totally unified, the capital of Heart (which I believe is on the island we see on the map of Kumandra) eventually becomes the capital. It still has five provinces/states, though.

Fang and Heart

Heart and Fang help each other out a lot with recovering from the “most of our people got turned into the statues” stuff. Heart has more resources, but most of its people have been stone for 6 years. So the two states/countries are both capable of different things.

Of all the kingdoms, Heart and Fang have the most to rebuild: Fang’s only standing city was destroyed in the finale of the movie, while Heart has been growing over for six years. Sure, Spine’s been stone for a while, and some of Talon’s docks and water ships and whatnot collapsed when the water vanished, but it’s still significantly easier to repair than “six years of overgrowth and rot and rust” or “literally the ground collapsed underneath us and wow um I don’t think that’s reparable.” So they really team up to fix it, and the others help them a lot.

The actual leaders stay in their capitals to lead until things have calmed down a WHOLE lot, so Raya and Naamari travel around Kumandra on their parents’ behalf a lot, and wind up going between Fang and Heart a lot to establish diplomatic relations and also to help with rebuilding.

Over this period, and while doing diplomatic meetings later on, Virana and Benja come to realize that the other person is actual quite decent. There’s some mess and distrust because of Virana’s thing with the Dragon Gem, but it eventually gets worked out. (Virana’s reaction is “yes that’s fair. In my defense, I was trying to do what I thought was right for my people, who were starving, but Yes, That’s Fair.” Benja’s reaction is “honestly if your people were starving from famine and you thought the Gem would help, that makes more sense.”) After a while, they become pretty good friends.

And suddenly Raya and Naamari regret everything. See, Naamari mentioned that both parents make terrible jokes. The girls are Suffering. Help them.

Sisu loves the bad jokes. Sisu also makes bad jokes. Raya and Naamari are silently dying.

It’s silly, but I like the idea that 3-4 years down the line, Virana and Benja consider getting married just for political reasons (alliance and all that) (they’re not actually interested in each other, it’s just practicality) and Naamari and Raya, who are not dating but are definitely in deep for each other at this point, are immediately like “NO. NO. DO NOT MAKE MY CRUSH MY STEPSISTER. DO NOT.”

Virana and Benja (mostly Benja) tease them by “considering” it for a bit longer, but they don’t, since they talked about it and both kids are uncomfortable with it. (”They like each other, don’t they?” Virana asks dryly. “Ohhh yeah,” Benja replies.)

Music? Music!

I was listening to a youtube mix this morning and “Too Far Gone” by Hidden Citizens popped up and it just reminded me of Raya’s attitude towards Kumandra at the start of the movie. Also it’s just a beautiful song.

“Knife in my Back” by Alec Benjamin is Raya @ Naamari before they figured things out, change my mind.

Other Stuff!

We can guess based off how long it took the crew to get from Tail to Fang even with side adventures (I think it was 3-4 days max, I wasn't totally paying attention) that one can navigate from one end of the river to the other within a couple days even in a boat like Boun's, and the royal families probably have even faster modes of transportation. (I.e. Naamari got from Tail to Fang in a couple days, then to Spine, then beat the crew back to Fang. On land.) Therefore, unlike I was originally thinking, it's actually totally realistic for the crew to be visiting each other once or twice a month.

It's even more realistic for Naamari to crash Raya's place on a weekly basis, since that's probably like six hours on cat at max.

I don't know what the cats are, so I will be calling them saber-cats until someone corrects me.

TUMBLR JUST MYSTERIOUSLY STOPPED ACCPTING MY "E" KY HLP I HAV TO US COPY PAST

Wait I think I fixed it. Crisis averted! Sorry about that.

Because Naamari is in Heart half the time, Virana visits quite frequently too. It’s not a long trip, anyway.

Virana is not straight (haircut) but I can’t decide if she’s a lesbian or what. She doesn’t have a spouse and never did. Only those Virana closely trusts know who Naamari’s dad is. Naamari does know and she’s met him, because Virana figured she had a right to. He and Virana never had a relationship, Virana just sort of needed an heir and a trusted personal friend offered to father the kid.

Tong’s wife is a total badass and instantly fits in with the crew. She and Noi’s mother quickly become very close friends.

Noi and Tong’s kid also immediately get along. As in, they constantly throw things at each other while giggling madly and both love the Ongis, and -- are they whispering to each other in that corner?? They might be conspiring to take over the world. Who knows.

Noi learns how to talk and becomes about 5 times more chaotic. Everyone is Regret (except Tong.)

[pinkbarefacedbeauty]

Manifest Mick/Jared V. Mick/Zeke

I feel that the whole ‘throw everything away for your partner’ is romantic...up until a point. 

Jared had mores things preventing him from telling Sarah about her mother then just his ‘loyalty’ to Mick.

Like the fact that the NSA itself is covering it up. If he tells Sarah, logically she will want to go after who did it, even if her mother was wrong, and this is a government coverup, so it could put not only her in danger but also Jared for telling her. 

If I was with a guy, I would want him to tell me no matter if it puts me in danger, and you are damn sure I am going after who did it. But I would be even more pissed if I got married and had kids with the dude, and he didn’t tell me what happened. 

Each episode is like a vaccum. Saanvi was literally bleeding from her eyes from concealing the truth. But, Mick still holds secrets.

When Jared was undercover and had no obligation to tell Mick anything. Like anything at all. She all of a sudden assumes the worst about him. She is literally married to another man, has another partner, and is never fully honest with him herself. But, she wants to be all in his business. So she can keep whatever she finds out to herself but Jared is obligated to tell her everything going on in his life. Especially when she is trying to distance herself from him? Especially after she got Jared in trouble in order to protect Zeke, and a lot of the illegal shit he did was for her and at her insistence? Even when she did that, there was a lot of stuff he could have revealed about her. He didn’t. But he’s still looked at as the bad guy.

Even when she learned about Jared dating Sarah, there was clear jealousy she was emitting, hell...her HUSBAND Zeke noticed it as well when she mentioned it. And he can feel her feelings

I am not claiming him to be innocent, not at all. No one in the world, including this show, are 100% innocent angels. But, Mick definitely keeps pushing and pulling and then hiding her hands. 

Then in seasons three after giving up her badge, to coverup what Saanvi did to Sarah’s mother, she again goes into precinct which she is not allowed anymore, and expects Jared’s involvement, in her rule-breaking. 

So basically she wants him to break the rules for her when it is convenient for HER, but the moment he moves on his own accord [to protect her, mind you], all of a sudden he is untrustworthy, bad and evil etc etc. 

I think if there was a 4th or 5th season that would’ve been made then Jared and Mick would end up together. And that is not just because I like them together [as flawed as they both are]. But, that seems to be where the story is leading.

1. Beverley (her late best friend’s mother, I think her name is) consistently asks when Jared and Mick will marry. It could be passed off as her dementia but everything’s intentional in a story.

2. Beverly also tells Zeke that him knowing Mick does not hold a candle to Mick and Jared. This could be excused by Zeke’s ability to feel emotions. But...again. Intentional.

3. Mick being jealous of Jared dating Sarah. And Zeke feeling Mick’s jealousy. 

4. Jared says the only reason that he stood there while Zeke married Mick was because he thought that Zeke was going to die.

Honestly, I feel as if Mick thought that Zeke would die as well and that is why she married him. I honestly felt no chemistry. between Mick and Zeke.It was too rushed. And the whole ‘calling’ of them needing to be together’ wasn’t a romantic thing for me. I thought it would be of her convincing him to join the scooby-doo gang, 828 detective team.

5. Zeke thinking automatically that Jared’s anger was about jealousy and not about Mick concealing a murder.

6. Zeke’s “we should talk” at the end of episode.

Zeke says to Beverley “You can feel what I am feeling [my emotions]?”. Zeke himself is insecure about the relationship. He is supposedly with Mick everyday on their break. I am pretty sure he would know the difference. 

I don’t know if it is because Melissa and JR Ramirez are dating in real life. but them just standing next to each other breathes/radiates chemistry. Zeke and Mick don’t even feel like a married couple, it’s so bland.

[maurtheblack]

Dear Creator letter for MCU Spaceships

Under the cut.

Thank you for writing for me! My requests are in loose groups - due to this a couple of them appear more than once. Any prompts/suggestions from either group or a combination are fine for those. 

Group 1 - Valkyrie ships.

Valkyrie’s old. Old as balls. She’s been on Sakaar where time runs strangely, sure, but it’s still been a long time for her. Judging by the Sif stuff in the first movie, and Thor mentioning wanting to be a Valkyrie, she’s practically a cryptid to the Asgardians. How does this come out in her interactions with other Asgardians? How much have Asgardians customs changed since her time? Does she want to be an Asgardian again, and form relationships - platonic and romantic and familial - with them, or does she want to just bounce and set up on Earth as a bounty hunter and get an Earth girlfriend? Going back into earlier in the canon, did Carol ever meet her in her space travels, before or after becoming Captain Marvel? Going AU, what if Valkyrie landed on Jane’s research instead of Thor? We don’t have a canon age for Frigga, so it’s very possible they knew each other back in the day. Perhaps Frigga was once a valkyrie, or Valkyrie was Frigga’s favoured knight once upon a time. I’d love worldbuilding around the valkyries and their place in Asgardian society and history and myth.How does Valkyrie feel about the Asgard she knew being forever lost? Instead of coming back to Asgard, Asgard has come to her, homeless space vagabonds. She’s got to have a lot of feelings about that. She, Loki and Thor agreed to bring about Ragnarok - how do they feel about that? Did they fail or succeed? How does the galaxy at large respond to the fall of Asgard - and are its princes targets for Asgard’s enemies and victims? What are the Jotun up to right now, for instance?

Group 2 - Carol ships.

Carol has a lot of identity stuff going on, and I’d love to see how she’s dealing with that, how she’s reconciling who she was with who she was after that and who she is now. Did she have the same habits and quirks and wants as Vers and Carol? Or did she like different things and behave differently? How is that playing out in her interactions with others? Is she lonely, out in space with no one from either of her old lives? This is the first time she’s had a chance to miss Monica and Maria, and know Maria is growing up and Monica growing old without her. Do the Skrulls ever guise themselves as people she knows for a moment’s comfort, or would that be too painful? How does Carol fit in with a Skrull society? How do they handle it when the Skrulls can fit neatly into any society and Carol’s a sore thumb? How does Carol feel about what she did as a Kree - she was lied to, yes, but did she never suspect? How much did she close her eyes to that she realises now were warning signs? How do the Skrulls feel about this? And then there’s her return to Earth - she’s returning to a very different world, and like Valkyrie, she’s got to have a lot of feelings about her absence. How will she interact with Jane, who presumably endured everything that happened on Earth? And for that matter, what IS going on with Jane? She briefly embodied one of the Infinity Stones, same as Carol. Perhaps they’re drawn to each other. Perhaps Jane wants to study Carol. We don’t have much about Mar-Vell, but she’s a super interesting character. I’m not very interested in the period where Carol believes she’s human, but I’d be very interested in an AU where her alienness emerges early on and Carol has to deal. Also an AU where Mar-Vell lives - perhaps she takes empowered Carol and goes on the lam, or perhaps they’re both captured. 

Group 3 - Nebula Ships

Nebula’s fantastic. I love how strange she is. I wonder how strange she’d be to her own people, and how much like them she is? Was she originally blue, as Gamora was green - or not? Did she ever have hair, and does she miss it? Did she always have a healing factor, and Thanos worked with that? Are all her people a little awkward and abrupt by human standards? The dynamic between Gamora and Nebula is really interesting, and the differences and similarities in how they reacted to Thanos’ raising. One of my favourite moments in GotG is when, after it seems they’d been setting up a conflict between Loyal Daughter and Rebel Daughter, Nebula reveals she is only waiting for her chance to turn on Thanos. Did Gamora and Nebula know that about each other? Did they ever keep each other’s secrets? I’d really like to see what a happy ending for those two crazy kids would look like, or in the angstier vein, something about their power struggles when they served Thanos. Nebula and Jane - like all the Jane ships here, Jane will be interested in space, and I think Nebula would find it unusual, that Jane is interested in her not because of the quality of being Thanos’ daughter, but for the very ordinary (to her) quality of being a space adventurer. And Jane is so civilian - she’s not a physical fighter at all. (yet!) Nebula might be fascinated by a body so undesigned. Thor and Nebula haven’t interacted much, but I think Nebula’s vague similarities to Loki could attract Thor’s interest, and Nebula could be interested by someone who grew up with so little trauma and pain, and was damaged so badly by it. As for Nebula and Rocket, they have SO much in common. If you’re not into the hot raccoon action I’d be just as into them becoming besties and forming an alliance of moral expediency against the Guardians.

Group 4 - Frigga ships

I wanted way more of Frigga. We know so little about her! How long have she and Odin been married? Canonically, there’s no indication she’s actually Hela’s mother, which is interesting. (I am not really into cross-generational incest so I hope it’s okay to write them as not mother and daughter - if you only matched on this ship and you only like it as an incest ship I can cope but would prefer no explicit porn and no underage.) So is Frigga a second wife, or did Odin maintain a harem, or cheat, or did Hela leap from his brain like Athena? Is she as old as Odin? For Hela and Valkyrie, we can go back into the past and have them know each other; perhaps there was a queen-favoured warrior dynamic, or perhaps pre-marriage Frigga was a Valkyrie and fought under Hela’s command. (After all, with Hela’s banishment it would be natural for Odin to seek a wife for more children... and Frigga would, with either pairing, have lost her love. For Frigga/Jane, I just think they’d be cute together once they got over the weirdness of stealing your son’s girl. Or perhaps by Asgardian customs the ladies of the family all entertain each other while the menfolk are off doing terrible acts of war.

Group 5 - Fury/Talos

They were just cute and funny, great buddy dynamic.All I really ask is you don’t devalue Talos’ relationship with Soren. Have Skrulls non-monogamous or something, or she gets divine inspiration and joins an exclusive order of celibate warrior-monks that mean she and Talos must regretfully part with love, that’s fine, I’ll be very forgiving of handwaves. Adding her to the ship also totally fine. 

Prompts of things I’d like to see, or just go nuts based on the above comments.

Valkyrie/Thor/Loki: fake relationship. For whatever reason they have to go undercover as an aristocrat and her two husbands/harem boys/whatever.

Valkyrie/Heimdall: Heimdall saw everything in Asgard. He’s the best person to tell her what it was like. And she can tell him what it was like in her day. What sort of Asgard would they like to build?

Valkyrie/Frigga: Maybe Ragnarok wasn’t the first time someone found Valkyrie. Frigga goes to Sakaar looking for something lost, and while negotiating the Grandmaster’s erratic court, she finds a valkyrie.

Valkyrie/Jane: due to Reality Stone nonsense or a Bifrost mishap, Jane lands on Sakaar and is collected by Valkyrie. The Grandmaster doesn’t know exactly what’s going on with her, but she’s clearly possessed of massive power, so it’s gladiatorial training for her. Valkyrie has to teach her some self-preservation skills - perhaps it’ll reflect badly on her if Jane gets stomped first fight - and Jane needs to get control over this cosmic power if she’s to have any hope of long term survival and returning home. And the Dark Elves are still looking for her...

Valkyrie/Carol: Sparring. Carol is used to sparring with Yonn-Rogg, who always tells her to rein in her power, show better control, don’t get carried away. Valkyrie, on the other hand, spars with the Hulk. Valkyrie showing Carol it’s all right to let loose, and that she can take anything Carol’s got.

Carol/Jane: I would love some classic identity porn with Carol, Jane and Mighty Thor. Perhaps Carol is besotted with this gorgeous warrior and irritated by Dr Foster’s constant requests to interview and analyse her. Perhaps she resents this new Thor for taking on her friend’s role, but has a soft spot for that beautiful scientist. Perhaps she thinks they’re both super hot and is trying really hard to orchestrate a threesome. (Bedroom farce based on this would be amazing.) Or maybe she hates them both until events, etc.

Carol/Soren/Talos: Carol and Soren and Talos are posing as a married couple. Keyword: couple. Carol is never sure who’s holding hands with her and who’s off breaking into secret government offices. Are they both flirting with her, or only one of them? Can end up threesome, or either pairing, but as stated above please do not devalue the Talos/Soren relationship.

Carol/Mar-Vell: Vers is living a perfectly normal Kree warrior life when some lunatic woman kidnaps her and drags her off in a spaceship, telling her wild stories about her *real* past. Mar-Vell has only just managed to escape custody, and after years of mentally wresting the Supreme Intelligence, she’s kind of poorly adjusted. She knows she can’t leave Carol behind when she escapes, though.

Gamora/Loki/Nebula: Thanos sends Gamora (or Nebula) with Loki to subjugate Earth. Gamora (or Nebula) takes the chance to get an Infinity Stone out of Thanos’ hands (or get revenge on Thanos), and either persuades or forces Loki to go on the lam. Nebula (or Gamora) is sent in pursuit, and Loki and Gamora (or Nebula) have to persuade her to join them.

Nebula/Jane:Jane has to go do uhhh urgent science somewhere off planet. Or maybe she’s the first human delegate at an interstellar conference. They’re going to send Gamora as her guide and bodyguard, but due to a hilarious misunderstanding Gamora is in space jail or bodyswapped with Rocket or glued to Drax. Nebula offers to take her place, and somehow no one realises what a terrible idea this is. So off they road trip. Nebula has no idea what “dangerous” is and Jane has no idea that Nebula has no idea what “dangerous” is. So they careen from disaster to disaster, Nebula causes carnage, Jane has a lovely time and has no idea how close to death she is at any given moment.

Gamora/Nebula: between the movies. Gamora wants to find Nebula; sometimes, Nebula wants to be found. Perhaps she just wants Gamora to keep looking.

Nebula/Thor: <em> and this is the map of my heart, the landscape after cruelty which is, of course, a garden, which is. a tenderness, which is a room, a lover saying Hold me tight, it's getting cold</em> Nebula is a person who has done terrible, brutal things, and she’s betrayed her sister more than once. Thor wants to know how she’s living with herself. The answer is badly. Thor decides that maybe they can be siblings to each other, and help each other heal. He eventually decides that dropping the siblings thing is best, what with all the sex they’re having.

Nebula/Rocket: <em>There ain’t nothing like me, but me</em> As morally bankrupt lab experiments, the two of them have a lot in common. Put them in circumstances where they have to feign moral competence, heroism, or being good at  interaction - perhaps their friends are being held prisoner by a rigidly honourable alien race and they have to diplomacy them out? Perhaps they’ve been stranded on a lawless world and are pretending to be Asgardian warriors to diminish the chances of being ganked? They accidentally get custody of a small child and have to set a good example because if they return the child tattooed and with a prison record they’ll probably be executed? Trying to see them work out proper behaviour from first principles could be deeply hilarious, or kinda sad.

Frigga/Hela: Frigga was always meant to be Queen of Asgard. She just thought it would be when Hela took the throne. Frigga and Hela as battle wives, or perhaps Frigga’s a diplomat who Hela courts. Maybe Odin arranges their marriage.

Jane/Frigga: instead of Thor being banished, it’s Frigga. Perhaps she forcibly objects to Odin banishing her son, and he sends her instead. Perhaps she protest some other Odin-y thing. Anyway, Jane finds her instead of Thor, and is just as charmed. Will Frigga prove her worthiness? Does she even want to?

Nick Fury/Talos: Talos would like to be sworn warrior brothers with Fury. There are traditional rituals. Fury is touched and honoured. The rituals turn out to involve sex. Why, what do sworn warrior brothers do on Earth? 

[nightqueendany]

The GOT S7 Commentaries...

So one of the incomprehensible ANTI arguments as to why it’s believed Jon/Sansa are endgame or that Jon actually isn’t in love with Daenerys (and therefore is playing her, is undercover/political Jon theories and is actually in love with his sister instead) has to do with the Season 7 Episode 7 commentary, specifically, Kit’s comments about one Jonerys scene in particular.

That scene every ANTI has a hard-on about is when Jon/Dany are in the corner of the dragonpit alone, passing the dragon skull back and forth and are talking about Dany being infertile (or so she thinks).

In the commentary, Kit says “this is when they decide they really like each other” and David Benioff sort of disagrees, mentioning earlier scenes of them in the caves, etc.

Antis like to say that since Kit can’t even supposedly pinpoint when Jon and Daenerys started to fall for each other, that this must be proof that Jon actually is playing Dany and Kit has known it all along and isn’t that invested in the romance he’s portraying on screen.

Now, a few points to remember before I serve up some hot tea:

This commentary is well after the wrapping of filming. Many many months after wrapping.

The actors have not seen any of the completed episodes for this season.

The actors frequently skip the bits of the scripts that do not have them in it. Hence the joke “Bullshit, bullshit, my line, bullshit.”

The entire season is shot incredibly out of order. Some scenes from Episode 7 were the first shot of the entire season.

The actors and even D&D absolutely do not take these commentaries seriously AT ALL. “90 minutes of goooooold....”

THEREFORE

With the long break between when they wrapped filming, with filming being out of order, and with actors skipping large chunks of script, when Kit and co did the commentary, much of the details of the script were forgotten. In fact, in the 7x07 episode, Kit frequently says he doesn’t know what’s going on in a scene because he’s forgotten even filming it in the first place.

But I’ll let the commentary speak for itself:

0:30 - “Have any of you three ever listened to any these commentaries?” - Dave Benioff.  “I jog to them.” - Dan Weiss. “I sometimes go on YouTube and forwardwind bits until I’m talking and just listen.” - Kit Harington. “Is that what you on set while we’re shooting?” - Dan Weiss “Most days.” - Kit Harington. “Bullshit, bullshit, my line, bullshit bullshit bullshit.” - Dan Weiss. “Bullshit, bullshit, my line.” - Kit Harington.

2:25 - “I’ve forgotten what’s going on here.” - Kit in reference to the scene the Unsullied are lined up outside King’s Landing and the Lannister soldiers are preparing in case of attack.

4:40 - “The thing about Thrones is you turn up and you have a horse riding assessment at the start and the last people to know anything about what happens in the series are the actors so Camilla, the stunt guys, everybody knows the storyline, what happens to your character. And it’s your job during the horse riding assessment to try and get that information.” - Kit when they’re talking about their horse riding assessments at the beginning of filming every season.

5:57 - “Ohh I know what’s going on. I’ve just realized...it’s taken me that long to figure it out.” - Kit, in reference to the scene Sandor Clegane taps on the box holding the wight on the ship headed for King’s Landing and the Dragon Pit meeting.

14:25 - “Oh we did have rain, didn’t we?” Kit in reference to Dan and Dave talking about the VFX guys having to take out raindrops from scenes because he literally couldn’t remember filming what was, according to Lena, “Torrential rain.”

19:09  - “I’m quoting your character from later in this episode.” - Dave Benioff talking about Lena conspiring with the costume designer. Lena clearly didn’t get the reference when Dave made it because she had forgotten her own line from the script of the episode they’re watching.

23:56 - “Here’s where you’ve just, just fucked the whole thing up” - Dan Weiss, “It was quite interesting having everyone of the main characters, or the principle characters, in the same place at the same time.” “Looking at you with disdain.”

24:53  - “Alright Jon Snow, don’t fuck this up.” - Dave Benioff, “Don’t fuck it up Jon, what could he possibly do to fuck it up?” - Kit Harington. “Just say fine’.” “Just say ‘yes’. Simple.” - Looks at Daenerys (Emilia Clarke). “Noooo,” “I am true to my word.” “God he pisses me off.” “Kit Harington would have just lied through his teeth here.” - Dan Weiss. “Honestly I would, yeah.” - in reference to Cersei asking Jon to stay out of the fight between her and Daenerys after the dead are defeated and Jon admits he already bent the knee to Dany.

-Okay, not really relevant, just my personal favorites on Jon publicly bending the knee, but I digress...

29:35 - “What’s going on now?” - Kit when Tyrion goes to meet with Cersei and is standing outside talking to Jaime.

30:32 - “Did you film this right at the start? The start of the season, is this one of the first ones you filmed?” - Kit. “Yeah I think it was in the first couple of weeks.” - Lena. When Tyrion and Cersei are meeting privately. Filming out of order...

31:02  - “I’ve forgotten what happens in the rest of this episode.” - Kit during the Tyrion Cersei scene. COME ON HE LITERALLY ADMITS HE CAN’T REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENS IN THE SEASON FINALE OF THE SHOW HE’S STARRED IN FOR SEVEN YEARS. They don’t study this stuff like we do guys!!! They love it but they’re not as big of nerds as us!!!

31:57  - “This does look like a good scene.” - Kit again on the Tyrion Cersei scene. 😳🙄

37:10 - “Kit, what did you think about this scene? Why don’t you tell us something useful. For the one guy left listening.” - Dave Benioff. “I liked it. I liked this scene.” “I can’t remember, what was this scene about?” “Yeah, she says that I’m not... she can’t have children.” “We’ll see about that.” “Haven’t met the little Jon.” “No this is where they really decide where they like each other, isn’t it?”  “If that’s what works for you? I feel like it happened a little sooner. You know when they’re in the cave together, there’s some friction, some heat. “ <= What the ANTIS heard “I don’t recall when Jon and Dany start to fall for each other because it’s unimportant to the story.”  => What they conveniently forget Kit adds at the end => “It happens in stages. But this is where the magic touch happens. This is where the electricity happens, just there.”

39:12 - “Actor studio question for you, so when you’re playing this scene, are you thinking in the back of your head, I know I’m telling a lie or are you just playing it as if this is really what’s gonna happen?” - Dave Benioff  “What sounds more intelligent?” - Lena, talking about when Cersei comes out to the Dragonpit after her conversation with Tyrion and tells Team Targaryen she will send her armies north to fight alongside them against the dead. Lena, a professional actress, can’t even remember how she approached and played a scene that is pretty pivotal for the entirety of next season. I mean....

41:38 - “If someone’s watching this for the first time.” - Kit. “I know I’m joking, it was a joke, Kit, fuck.” - Dave Benioff. “They’ve probably already read it online anyway.” - Dan Weiss. - Talking about Littlefinger’s death when Sansa receives the raven from Jon about bending the knee to Daenerys. Again, not really relevant. This is just personally one of my fave bits from the commentary. But D&D knew what was up with the leaks hah.

44:46 - “This is one of the first scenes I shot in the whole…” - Kit Harington about the Jon/Theon throne room scene on Dragonstone when Theon says he needs to go after Yara. More out of order shooting making it difficult for actors to recall certain storylines, plots, lines, scenes, episodes, etc.

46:18 -  “I’ve forgotten you’ve got that Alfie scene in this bit.” - Kit on Theon later on the beach with the other Ironborn.

48:05 - “Does Jon know who Yara is? I guess he probably does, he knows things.” - Dan Weiss. When Theon says he needs to go save Yara. This is the writer, producer, and showrunner and he’s legitimately asking this question. Side Note, of course Jon would know who Yara is, he grew up with Theon. Surely the topic of his sister would have come up at some point.

48:37 - “I have no recollection of who writes what anymore.” - Dan Weiss. Talking about the Jon Snow/Theon scene.

1:05:44 - “This was, I think, Isaac’s first scene, that he shot in the season. So he was still, he did a very good job of finding this new version of his character right out of the gate.” - Dan Weiss on the scene where Sam arrives in Winterfell and meets with Bran where they speak about Jon’s heritage.

1:08:04 - “Are you kidding?” - Lena, who doesn’t read the scripts, about Rhaegar and Lyanna being married. “No, Heir to the throne. Heir to the … well, technically.” - *Lena gasping* -  “There’s mum and dad. I’m getting emotional actually.” - Kit “Lena do you not read the scripts?” “No cause I fucking watch it.”

1:09:42 - “Oh shit off.” Lena when Lyanna says Jon’s real name. At Bran’s line: “He’s the heir to the Iron Throne.” - Lena inhales sharply.

1:10:52 - “Did you not know that was coming? Did you?” - Kit to Lena about Jon being the heir to the throne.  - Side Note: when Kit said this, I actually thought Lena might have been crying until she speaks again in the Sansa/Arya scene and her voice is unaffected so I guessed she wasn’t but anyway...just goes to show how much the actors know about the scripts and scenes and show in general.

1:13:24 - “Oh, you haven’t seen this have you? You don’t know what’s happening?” - Kit to Lena about The Wall coming down.

Clearly, our fave folks do not pay nearly as much attention to this stuff once they’re done filming it as we do.

BTW I thought all the ANTIS didn’t believe a single thing the actors, producers, composer, costume designer, etc. said about the show in commentaries or BTS bits because none of what they said aligned with the Jon/Sansa pairing...?

SOUNDS LIKE PICKING AND CHOOSING WHAT YOU WANT TO ACCEPT AND BELIEVE TO ME.

[bookloveravenue]

VINO AND VERITAS BOOKS 4-8 COVER REVEALS

UNDERCOVER BY ELIOT GRAYSON

Release Date: March 29, 2021 Pre-Order here: COMING SOON Add to Goodreads here: https://bit.ly/2LTpTTY Share this page: https://hearteyespress.com/wotn#/vino-and-veritas/   Cover Design: Christine Coffey

Blurb:

Gabe wants Alec between the sheets…too bad Alec’s undercover already…

Rich kid. Party boy. Gabe is tired of the labels. He’s a smart guy, but ever since he got kicked out of grad school, people are only interested in his no-limit credit card and his pierced ears…and other places.

Tall, dark, and scowling Alec hates Vermont, with its artisanal-freaking-everything and its irritating people. To be fair, most people irritate Alec, including the FBI director who sent him here to investigate a smuggling scheme involving yoga mats.

When one of the cutest twinks Alec’s ever seen takes an interest, Alec knows there’s an ulterior motive. No one with multi-colored hair, piercings, and an ass like that would want boring, serious Alec. The kid must be up to no good. Either way, Alec can’t blow his cover. If only he could keep his hands off of Gabe long enough to find out what he’s up to…

Can they ignore their explosive chemistry long enough to foil a smuggling ring? Or will their budding relationship sink faster than a yacht full of contraband?

AFTERMATH BY L.A. WITT

Release Date: March 29, 2021 Pre-Order here: https://geni.us/AmazonAftermath Add to Goodreads here: https://bit.ly/2LZajWM Share this page: https://hearteyespress.com/wotn#/vino-and-veritas/   Cover Design: Christine Coffey

Blurb:

Brent Weyland was the life of the party until an injury ended his hockey career. Now he’s retreated alone to a lakefront house, trying to make sense of a life and body that don’t feel like his anymore.

Jon Norquist was happily married right up until he wasn’t. Now a single father in his forties, he’s trying to figure out what comes next. In the meantime, he pours his heartache and regret into the lyrics he sings for the wine bar crowd a couple of nights a week.

When a friend coaxes Brent out for a night of wine and music, he puts Brent and Jon on a collision course. Their chemistry is instantaneous. Jon gives Brent’s battered body a much-needed remedial lesson in pleasure. And Brent gives Jon a reason to smile again.

Multiple reasons, actually. Neither man wants anything serious, but love has a habit of showing up whether it’s welcome or not. No matter how hard they try, the two can’t help having feelings for each other, even as life continues to throw them curveballs.

But they’ve both got baggage to unpack and hurt to move past, and if they can’t leave their pasts in the past, they might just miss out on an amazing future.

BOOKLOVER BY J.E. BIRK

Release Date: March 29, 2021 Pre-Order here: COMING SOON Add to Goodreads here: https://bit.ly/2M0GgOE   Share this page: https://hearteyespress.com/wotn#/vino-and-veritas/   Cover Design: Christine Coffey

Blurb:

Jamie Morin’s college GPA drops every time a cow breaks through a fence, but he’s determined to get his degree and keep his parents’ Vermont dairy farm afloat. He’d rather be reading than milking, but he can’t let his family down…not the way his brother did. So the last thing he needs is distraction in the form of an irresistible bookseller with a mysterious backstory.

Briar Nord has a lifetime of experience proving that happily-ever-afters only happen in his favorite books. But his luck might be changing. He’s got a great job at a bookstore, and he lives in a city that puts maple syrup on everything. But Briar knows not to trust anything--or anyone--too closely, and that includes a gorgeous farm boy with soulful eyes and too many obligations.

When Jamie joins Briar’s romance novel book club, they both feel an instant connection and soon they’re turning pages long into the night. But Briar’s past was bound to catch up with him. Sometimes, though, it takes two heroes to write a new ending . . .

FLIPCUP BY KIM HARTFIELD

Release Date: April 5, 2021 Pre-Order here: COMING SOON Add to Goodreads here: https://bit.ly/3inwD8w   Share this page: https://hearteyespress.com/wotn#/vino-and-veritas/   Cover Design: Christine Coffey

Blurb:

After being rejected one too many times, Chelsea makes a bold vow: No more men. Her friends doubt a boy-crazy party girl can handle not dating for a year, but that only makes Chelsea more determined.

Tara has made a vow, too. After growing up in foster care and suppressing herself to please others, she's going to live her truth. When she sees a beautiful woman, she'll make her attraction known.

Chelsea appreciates Tara's flirtatious compliments, not to mention her androgynous beauty. There's a loophole in Chelsea's vow, and it's more tempting every day. Could swearing off men lead Chelsea to the perfect woman?

HIDEAWAY BY RACHEL LACEY

Release Date: April 5, 2021 Pre-Order here: COMING SOON Add to Goodreads here: https://bit.ly/2XOsNMt     Share this page: https://hearteyespress.com/wotn#/vino-and-veritas/   Cover Design: Christine Coffey

Blurb:

One woman’s hiding place is another woman’s home.

After becoming an inadvertent viral sensation—and losing her job and her girlfriend as a result— Phoebe Shaw retreats to Vermont. Renovating her late grandmother’s cabin into a vacation rental seems like the perfect way to lie low for a while. But the last person she expects to encounter on the property is the woman whose kiss was her teenage sexual awakening . . . and whom she’s never quite forgotten.

Taylor Donovan has been hiking on the trails behind the Shaw family’s cabin her whole life. As children, Taylor and Phoebe were best friends before sharing a secret summer romance when they were sixteen, which left Taylor brokenhearted when Phoebe fled at the end of the summer. Now the property has become Taylor’s home away from home, and she wants nothing more than to convince the Shaws to sell it to her. But Phoebe’s return puts a crimp in those plans--and brings back old feelings she thought she’d overcome.

Of all the things Phoebe regrets, leaving Taylor is at the top of the list, but Taylor is determined to protect her heart. Yet the pull between them is stronger than ever. This time around, will love stay hidden . . . or finally see the light of day?

[slamsams-blog]

You Only Live Twice - #24WeeksofBond

This weeks installment in the 24 Weeks of Bond marathon continues with 1967′s “You Only Live Twice” where Bond DIES....then comes BACK TO LIFE...then becomes JAPANESE...then has a WAR INSIDE A VOLCANO.  If someone who hadn’t seen this movie was given that description of this film, that person would’ve dropped everything that they had in that moment and found a way to see this movie.  While that description makes this movie sound like a great cinematic experience, it ultimately falls flat with every bit of the plot being rushed to hell.  But that’s just my opinion, read on and see if you agree.

Sean Connery is back for the 5th time as Bond, and only because the producers agreed to bump his salary considerably.  Sean was getting tired of the grind that came with Bond and was having a hard time finding other film work with the hectic schedule of filming and promoting...(life sure must’ve been tough, eye roll.)  But they showed him the money, and with it, we get a checked out Sean Connery on a mission to find out who is causing chaos in outer orbit?

Let’s start with some positives...the pre-title sequence is fun.  We start out with a couple of American astronauts in space, and one of them goes out to check to make sure everything is working fine, but we see a mysterious spacecraft approaching undetected until it’s too late and swallows up the Americans, but in doing so, cuts the said astronauts lifeline.  That scene always made me cringe as a kid.  Then we see the American’s blaming Russia for the abduction, but Britain disagrees and think they saw something coming out of Japan.  Cut to Bond in bed with a lovely young lady...(who makes a quiet cameo in Daniel Craig’s Casino Royale).  She surprises Bond and traps him with the fold up bed they were sleeping on for some evil bad guys to open fire, KILLING JAMES BOND.  I mean, there was blood and everything!!!

I must admit, they got me with this when I first saw this movie.  I was legitimately shocked and sad when I saw this.  I thought to myself “how can this be??”...well, turns out it was all a stunt to fake his own death so his enemies all write him off - giving MI6 a little breathing room for Bond to do his job.

The job is to figure out where this unidentified spacecraft is coming from.  M has intel that there was some fishy stuff going on in Japan, so that’s where Bond is sent with the code “I love you” for his contacts to identify him.  Basic, but humorous. Moneypenny gets a great line out of it, “repeat it please, so I know you have it”. Bond gets to Japan where he meets Aki (Akiko Wakabayashi) who is NOT his contact, but will be bringing him to his contact who is Mr. Henderson (Charles Gray).  This is sort of a wasted role for Charles Gray.  A very brief conversation with Henderson ends with him getting stabbed in the back through his paper walls.

Bond catches the guy, kills him, steals his clothes and goes to the get-away car that is being driven by none other than Peter Maivia.  Who is Peter Maivia you ask?  Well he is the father of Ata Maivia, who had a son who would go on to become THE ROCK.  Yes, Peter Maivia is Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s Grandfather.  No wonder Bond has a rough time handling this one. The Rock has said before that he would love to land a Bond Villain role one day.  Maybe to avenge his grand daddy?

Aki bails Bond out by getting him out of harms way after taking out Peter Maivia and stealing some documents from a chemical facility and she takes him to Tanaka (Tetsurō Tamba) who works for the Japanese secret service.  I would love it if my office had a slide attached to it.  Bond and Tanaka talk business over Sake at 98.4 degrees fahrenheit, then what follows next is a rather uncomfortable scene that really doesn’t age well.

Tanaka takes Bond to his personal spa where his massage and bathing slaves wash them both while Tanaka says “In Japan, men come first - women come second.”  ugh, some things about Bond that make you wish you could forget.  We also get close to seeing Connery’s junk.  If you look close enough while Bond is in his hot tub you can really see pretty far down through the water...not that I was looking...ok I was, I do every time. 

But now suddenly, Aki joins the party taking over for the girl who was giving Bond a massage and she acts like they have been long lost lovers - whispering sweet nothings, and kissing his ear as he turns around and yells AKI, longingly.  I’m sorry, when did they suddenly fall for each other?  This is a very rushed relationship, we don’t have any time to get to know Aki before we are supposed to accept her as Bond’s love interest.  Have I mentioned this movie was written by the man who wrote Matilda, and James and the Giant Peach??  Roald Dahl, swings in and writes the screen play after having no screen play writing experience.  Apparently he and Ian Fleming were buds.

Anyway, there seems to be a lot of danger surrounding this chemical facility as the document Bond stole said that a picture of this boat had been taken by a tourist, and that the tourist was liquified.  Bond goes sniffing, enlists the help of trusty ole Q and his “Little Nelly” toy helicopter with missiles and flies by the coast of where the boat in the picture was at.  But one simply cannot go to the coast as an englishman, no no.  In order to get there, Bond MUST become a Japanese ninja who has a wife and goes undercover as a poor worker.

Enter Kissy Suzuki (Mie Hama) who is another Japanese agent, picked to pretend marry Bond who is made up as the worst looking Japanese man ever.  Seriously, this is just so goofy and ridiculous where it really takes away from the movie.  Aki ends up getting poisoned accidentally and Bond has a hard time giving a crap about it.  Thank you for your service Aki.  But Bond now has to find where this spacecraft is coming from and fast, otherwise it’ll be Bond’s ass.

Kissy says there was something going on with the volcano.  So they go hiking and discover that that is where the spacecraft is coming from.  Man, Blofeld has an impressive collection of headquarters and hide outs.  You have to wonder how long it took Blofeld to construct this volcano lair, it is very impressive.

Bond gets to work infiltrating the volcano while Tanaka sends his ninjas, and now we have a war.

This is the first time we get to see Blofeld’s (Donald Pleasence) face and also the first time we get Blofeld as the main henchman.  In the previous movies Blofeld was just a voice and a cat who deployed his empire to be the Bond villains, but Blofeld is alone here with only Hans, Mr. Osato, and Helga Brant as his backup.  Not exactly the “A” team.  After a pretty intense battle, Bond manages to destroy the Spacecraft, sent out to create a world war between America and Russia, and escapes...mission complete.

While “You Only Live Twice” has it’s moments - The pre-title sequence, the Volcano fight, and the Peter Maivia easter egg.  “You Only Live Twice” is a rather forgettable film in the series.  Connery had enjoyed incredible success in his first 4 films, and even this movie was touted as a major success when it opened - but this just comes up short in flavor and substance.  The whole movie is just about Bond looking for the spacecraft in Japan, and running into all sorts of vanilla characters along the way, making me have to think twice about watching this again. (pun intended, unfortunately).

Connery would exit the franchise after this film to be replaced by George Lazenby, but after George decides to walk, Connery will come back again for one more film - but you can definitely see the writing on the wall for Connery here.  You Only Live Twice is at best, a passable Bond film that lacks depth and void of any creative passion, but gets by because it’s a Bond movie.  That’s my story and I’m sticking to it, what did you think?  Let me know!

Reviews from Friends:

Jake Benrud

I enjoyed this movie. Although the spaceship "eating" the other spaceships was comical by today's special effects standards. Watch out for the piranha pool. I've always enjoyed this theme song. I don't know why. It always gets stuck in my head.

24 Weeks of Bond will return next Monday with - 

For Your Eyes Only

[fanficwriter013]

The Ties That Bind (Part 5/?)

Pairing: Clint Barton x Reader

Summary: Clint makes it his mission to win you over. He succeeds, but you don’t believe in marriage. Can the two of you stay together without the promise of wedding bells in the future? What about when the two of you are forced to go undercover as a married couple?

Word Count: 1760

Warnings: AoU is slightly AU for purposes, Nick Fury, mentions of Stony/Stucky, poking fun at Bruce/Natasha, Violent/weapons, AoU spoilers, a cliffhanger.

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 /

“Attention, Avengers meeting is being held in the living room. Please make your way downstairs.” It was a loud speaker announcement made by Sam, and you had to stop and wonder why the strange little man had installed a PA system in the first place. You had been in the middle of cataloging your muscles aches, while Clint was checking over his arrows. You were also eyeing him to make sure he wasn’t hiding any injuries. But the two of you looked at each other before heading downstairs.

You looked to Steve when you entered the living room. His body language told you that something was up, and Tony looked equally annoyed. Sam walked into the room holding a tablet, and he was followed by Nick Fury. You knew he was still around, but to get a personal visit from him. This had to be a serious deal.

“You’re the Avengers. Quit acting like a bunch of little babies, and go fix what y’all screwed up.” It was spoken in that Nick Fury tone of voice. All base and grumbling, it wasn’t necessarily that he was yelling. But it was more that he was playing the disappointed father card and that was worse. Steve immediately shifted, emulating the body language of Captain America. That shift seemed to be all that Nick needed and he left.

“Pack up, everybody back on the plane in fifteen minutes. We’ve got a robot to find.” It was barked orders that you were used to, but Tony looked annoyed. No doubt having an issue with Steve calling Ultron a robot, he was something that Tony had carefully crafted. And it had just so happened to take on a life of its own.

“It’s not a robot, it’s a sentient artificial intelligent security system.” Tony was mumbling as he brushed past you. You glanced at Steve again who was conversing with Agent Koenig over the tablet, and Bruce and Natasha slipped past you. It seemed that you had missed an awful lot in the hour or so of down time you had had. You linked your arm with Clint’s and went back upstairs.

“The fuck. Did you see Tony and Steve? It looked like they wanted to kill each other. Sure they haven’t gotten on well, but they were civil. And are Bruce and Nat a thing? What the hell happened down there?” You questioned as soon as the door to the ugly room had closed. Clint shook his head at you, moving past you to organize his quiver.

“I was up here with you. Your guess is just as good as mine.” He said, handing you a pair of daggers you’d left on the top of the dresser. You liked to be over prepared for a mission, and afterward, you could reenact those scenes where a person would just pull a pile of weapons out of, seemingly, nowhere. You put the knives away, shrugging into the holster you had, that let the blades rest along your ribcage.

“Well, it was weird. I thought Nat only liked to be a part of threesomes and to fuck with no strings attached. And Steve and Tony need to do something before they rip each other’s throats out.” You said, grabbing your pistols from the bedside table. One went into your ankle holster, the other on your hip. You grabbed your jacket from over the back of the chair and slipped it on.

“It’s sexual tension. But they wouldn’t make a good couple.” Clint said, and you barked out a laugh at him. You used a variety of weapons, and you picked up the whip you preferred for long distances. It wasn’t an everyday weapon, but it had been useful for trying to fight Ultron and the psychic twins.

“That’s cause he’s still hung up on his last boyfriend.” You snorted out, wrapping the whip around your left wrist. Tucking the end behind the rows, so it was secure but easily accessible. Clint laughed, handing you your batons. You had gotten slightly obsessed with them after running a case with Bobbi, she had been such a badass that you had wanted to see what all the fuss was about.

“We should get going.” Clint didn’t sound happy about that. He usually sported a serious but can do attitude heading into a mission. Even the ones where it seemed that the odds were stacked against you. You gave him a look, and he just shook his head at you. You took his free hand and draped it over your shoulders, tucking yourself into his side.

You weren’t sure where the intel had come from, but the team was currently on the quinjet on the way to Seoul, to try and keep Ultron from getting a body that he was trying to force Dr. Cho to make. Steve had told you to stay on the jet with Clint to be ready for exfil, and while you didn’t appreciate being underestimated you would obey orders.

It had been an intense mission, and you were watching from the seat behind the pilot’s seat. Steve was playing the role of hardass, and Natasha had been left behind. You thought you were going to have to quickly jump into the pilot’s seat, but you had been able to talk Clint down from going to rescue his best friend. Natasha was your best friend too, and she was tough. She would survive for a little bit while the team regrouped, and tried to get along with the two new strays

Tony and Bruce had holed up, and when they had explained. They had used a bunch of big words and science jargon that you couldn’t follow. Then an android version of Jarvis was born and told you to call him Vision. To top it all off, this Vision was able to pick up Thor’s hammer. You were a little apprehensive of Vision, and you were sure Clint was too. But he was there, and you were going to have to trust him.

This brought you to planning a mission. Bruce was going to be sent in to rescue Natasha, and that only further raised your suspicions that you had missed a lot. The rest of you were going to deal with Ultron, and it was back to Sovokia for most of the team. For you, it would be the first time.

The evacuation had been going smoothly, and that’s how you knew the shit was going to hit the fan. That did happen when Ultron and an army of his clones showed up. It was utter chaos, and you were trying to rip out circuits and save the civilians. Your comms kept shorting out, but when they were working it seemed like everyone was being overwhelmed.

You were currently caught in a particularly grim looking situation. You were surrounded by Ultron bots, and they thought you were going down. Hell, you thought you were going down. It was you versus the six of them, you’d bet on the numbers. But you would put up a hell of a fight first.

The odds tipped in your favorite when a blue streak took down three of the bots, and then the two of you worked to take down the remaining three. “Thanks, kid. But don’t do anything stupid my suit is bulletproof and you’re just wearing a drifit t-shirt.” You told him, and the silver-haired male just quirked an eyebrow at you before taking off again.

It could only get worse before it could get better. Ultron was making drastic moves the more desperate it got. Your comms had come back to let you know that Ultron had taken a quinjet, and was firing. You could see the quinjet, and you could see it heading straight for Clint. Your archer was currently saving a small boy, and you knew he wouldn’t be able to shoot an exploding arrow into the quinjet.

You didn’t think, you just reacted. Jumping into the line of fire right before it would have hit both the child and your Clint. You’d be shot while wearing this suit before, but this was different. The rounds from the quinjet felt like they were tearing you to pieces, and the pain made your legs give out. But you never hit the ground, something solid caught you and you were moving in seconds. You weren’t sure, but you thought you heard Clint screaming your name as you were moved.

You’d spent the remainder of the mission, unable to move. Barely able to breathe on one of the boats that Fury and Hill had brought in. You were aware of someone sitting down by your side, as the pain ebbed enough. You were able to pull in a deep breath of air, and your eyelids popped open as you sat up.

“Tony, what the fuck did you make this suit out of? I got shot in the back, and it felt like I was dying.” You gripe at Tony, placing a hand on Clint’s knee that had been right next to your ribcage when you were laying down. It was then, that you noticed that Clint’s hand had been on your thigh. “Tony, can you have FRIDAY X-ray my spine?” You asked, if it hadn’t been for seeing Clint’s hand you would have never have known of its residence on your leg.

“L1 is shattered, but the spinal cord is intact.” Came your answer, and you knew that meant you needed some medical attention and you needed it quickly. You definitely were going to be having a serious conversation about retiring, once you got a clean bill of health.

“Clint, honey, I love you, but please don’t move or move me right now. I need Dr. Cho.” You said, looking around and counting heads, careful not to actually move your head. It looked like everyone, but Banner was present and accounted for. “Hey, Cap. I’m trying to walk it off, but I’m a little stuck on the walking part.” It wasn’t a pun, but it was the closest you could get right now.

Part 6 

Tag List: @dontyouforgetaboutme @graysonmalfoy @lisssays @tamlovestacos @jessie-baby-96 @thegoodinatx @my-personal-little-space @marvelbase001 @toastmaster94 @skylions-den @realmen-wearplaid @jynx-winters @thesumofmyyears @walkingtravesty13 @humanandangel @bryannareblogsstuff @awkwardkarma @masks-of-beauty-blog @tessellaneous @something-to-do-with-pandas @mylovelyadventures @penguinsrideatdawn @zxcorra  @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory

[kaospersona]

INTERVIEW WITH YOUR MUSE

1. PICK ONE OF YOUR MUSES. 2. FILL IN THE QUESTIONS AS IF YOU ARE BEING INTERVIEWED FOR AN ARTICLE AND YOU WERE YOUR MUSE. 3. TAG 10 PEOPLE TO DO THIS MEME, (REPOST, DON’T REBLOG) TAGGED BY: I stole it! TAGGING: you may also steal

1. WHAT IS YOUR NAME? Kaos

2. WHAT IS YOUR REAL NAME? Heh...wouldn’t you like to know?

3. DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU WERE CALLED THAT? I named myself after I left home. It’s more accurate and it sounds kew.

4. ARE YOU SINGLE OR TAKEN? I’m in a couple relationships but I’m not ‘taken’.

5. HAVE ANY ABILITIES OR POWERS?  An innate strength for magic, combat, defense of others, infiltration, and anarchy. 

6. STOP BEING A MARY SUE/GARY STU.  What? Are you suggesting that, not only am I a fictional character, but that I’m a perfect one that everyone loves is is great at everything? I mean...I guess a lot of people love me and I am pretty strong fighter, but I earned that love and honestly anything that doesn’t pertain to my previously mentioned strengths I’m pretty terrible at. And if I am fictional, well, I’m probably real in another universe.

7. WHAT’S YOUR EYE COLOR? Burning orange

8. HOW ABOUT YOUR HAIR COLOR? Dark indigo, almost black

9. HAVE YOU ANY FAMILY MEMBERS? I have the element that created me, but for a few years I lived on a farm. We were sorta like a family, but I didn’t get to know them long enough.

10. OH? WHAT ABOUT PETS? One cat, four ocelots, and a cactus.

11. THAT’S COOL I GUESS, NOW TELL ME ABOUT SOMETHING YOU DON’T LIKE. Calculators.

12. DO YOU HAVE ANY HOBBIES/ACTIVITIES YOU LIKE DOING? I like hanging out with my friends, cooking, watching movies, and my job which isn’t really official so I guess it’s more of a hobby?

13. EVER HURT ANYONE BEFORE? So many.

14. EVER… KILLED ANYONE BEFORE? So, so many.

15. WHAT KIND OF ANIMAL ARE YOU? Fox 

16. NAME YOUR WORST HABITS. Fidgeting, ignoring personal space, ignoring privacy, just being annoying in general.

17. DO YOU LOOK UP TO ANYONE AT ALL? A lot of my friends. They’re all pretty incredible. 18. GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL? Asexual, panromantic, polyamorous

19. DO YOU GO TO SCHOOL? When I have to for undercover work.

20. DO YOU EVER WANT TO MARRY AND HAVE KIDS ONE DAY?? Maybe get married, but no way I could settle down or have kids. I don’t think it’s actually possible.

21. DO YOU HAVE ANY FANBOYS/FANGIRLS? I’m not famous or anything. Well...Maybe N29, he’s always cheering me on and saying how awesome I am.

22. WHAT ARE YOU MOST AFRAID OF? My friends dying and me never seeing them again because I don’t have a soul so I don’t know where my friends my go but I know I can’t follow, if I can even die which I don’t think I can. Also cuccos.

23. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY WEAR? Tank tops and short-shorts. Unless that won’t work on whatever world I’m on, then whatever I can throw together.

24. DO YOU LOVE SOMEONE? I love everyone!

25. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WET YOURSELF? When I was young. Underestimated how long it would take to bring the sheep in and I didn’t want to leave them...

26. WHAT CLASS ARE YOU? (HIGH CLASS, MIDDLE CLASS, LOW CLASS) I have no class

27. HOW MANY FRIENDS DO YOU HAVE? A ton!

28. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON PIE? Sooooo good!

29. FAVORITE DRINK? Hylian milk

30. WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE PLACE? Home

31. ARE YOU INTERESTED IN SOMEONE? I don’t like to rush things.

32. WHAT’S YOUR BRA CUP SIZE AND/OR HOW BIG IS YOUR WILLY? I don’t have either. Even when I had or recreate breasts they’re pretty small. A cup I guess?

33. WOULD YOU RATHER SWIM IN THE LAKE OR THE OCEAN? Ocean. Lakes are too still.

34. WHAT’S YOUR TYPE? Brave, protective, and mentally flexible.

35. ANY FETISHES? No. Well, maybe roleplay? I dunno, that always sounded kinda fun to me.

36. SEME OR UKE? TOP OR BOTTOM? DOMINANT OR SUBMISSIVE? Uhh, neither? But I do wanna try sex some day, so uh, but I don’t want to be in control of someone...Does it have to be so one-sided? Can’t we like, do it on our sides or something?

37. CAMPING OR INDOORS? Outdoors. Not sure what the point is otherwise.

38. ARE YOU WANTING THE QUIZ TO END?? Naw, I don’t get asked questions very often.

[ecotone99]

[MS] Confessions of an Officer's Wife Part two (the end of story)

It was the fall of 1982. I hadn't seen Carlos since early June. He told me he would be away from a while. Then in mid-October on a Saturday night he came to my apartment. I had a spare room. He told me that he had no bad intentions towards me and he needed a place to hid out for a while. He wouldn't tell me what happened. It was probably just as well as years later I found out.

I started staying at the apartment more. I actually felt safe with him being there. My mom and aunt knew nothing about him at that point. They didn't know him. On New Years Eve, we were alone at my apartment and when the new year rang in, I was no longer an innocent girl.

After a couple of months Carlos didn't need to hid anymore.

It actually was a pregnancy scare that pushed towards getting married several months later. I introduced him to my mom and aunt. They knew him in passing. I was surprised that they liked him and more surprised when they met his mom and his sisters that they liked them. Miami Cove is a more upscale place than Miami where Carlos grew up. My family aren't snobby but some people in Miami Cove could be. We got married in 1984 and guess who the priest was who married us - my former boyfriend.

Once we had children, my husband and I decided to move to Miami Cove to be closer to my mom and aunt. Sadly Carlos mother had died - she smoked too much. My husband joined the Miami Cove Police Department and went up the ranks.

Miami Cove was a much different place than Miami. It had changed a lot since I went to high school in the mid 1970's. There wasn't a lot of crime back in the day some of the kids took cars for a joy ride. They usually didn't get caught. Some vandalism, petty stuff compared to today. There still wasn't a lot of crime in the 1980's but you have a lot more kids getting caught using marijuana and cocaine had entered the picture. Being that these kids were in a upper middle class background, they weren't punished as severely as someone who didn't have access to a good lawyer, etc.

I can't imagine being arrested for drug use and my father complaining to the police chief about law enforcement arresting me. He would be angry and disappointed in me and there would have been serious consequences if this had happened. As time went on, my husband encountered this more and more. Different time period, different era. We were lucky that our 4 children never got into trouble and they were good kids.

Carlos became police chief of Miami Springs when he was 56 years old. Most people liked him but you always have some that don't, especially if it's a police chief but this didn't bother him. About six months after my husband became Police Chief, the Priest who I was engaged to be married to decades ago died in a car accident. The accident was caused by someone who was drunk and high on drugs. When his funeral was held, there wasn't a dry eye in the church.

What made me sick was the person who caused the accident was a celeb DJ in South Beach. He tried to find dirt on my ex-boyfriend and he couldn't find any. He was free of any scandal and with the exception of a parent who was angry that my ex-boyfriend expelled him from school, no one had any bad word to say about him. But that didn't stop this guy from trying to find dirt on people who supported my ex-boyfriend including me. My husband found out about this when an anonymous person who worked for Miami Dade Police Department said that this DJ was trying to find dirt on me and Carlos.

Carlos was concerned as he had worked undercover narcotics back in the late 1970's to early 1980's. Some of the people that he had arrested and locked up in early 1980's were still alive, although they were older in their 50's and 60's and probably not likely to do any harm to him, but you never know.

Many of them were dead, killed in the drug wars in the early to mid 1980's. He expected something to come out about him relating to his undercover work but nothing did. He was very careful as doing or saying the wrong thing at the wrong time could be deadly. Saying that you know someone also could be deadly or an innocent off handed remark could also be deadly.

He had warned this informant who was a stripper at a night club not to mention if she knew someone or not. While he was in hiding she mentioned to someone that she knew David Marsh who was a classmate of hers. This was a big mistake as someone sitting nearby believed that she and Davied were informants.

David wasn't a police informant and later the stripper disappeared. An informant later told Carlos that the paranoid person took the stripper out on a boat 15 miles out, threw her overboard and left her to die. She never was seen or heard from again. David Marsh also disappeared but it wasn't know if he had disappeared or left because he knew his life was in danger or if someone did him in.

That no one will never know. Let's just say he's never been heard from since. Carlos was very street smart, well he had to be to survive in undercover work. I'm too prim and proper and would stand out like a sore thumb. In Miami Cove, you didn't need street smart to survive.

The celeb DJ did find something and sent it to Aunt Clara, who is an aunt of Carlos. She called him crying and could barely speak. Someone had sent her a recording and pictures of men who were taken prisoner and then later killed at the Bay of Pigs. Carlos father, his uncle and my ex-boyfriend's brother who was much older than him were captured and then executed. It was a detailed account of what happened. A picture from Carlo’s father fell out his pocket and it was a picture of him and the family. My mother in law had 5 children, Carlos being the youngest at age 5. The picture was taken a couple of weeks before the Bay of Pigs. Everyone knew that these pictures existed and they were rarely shown mostly out of respect for those who lost loved ones.

I went down to Aunt Clara's home and she was having difficulty breathing. She had to be taken to the hospital. She has heart problems and other medical problems and being so upset like she could have cost her her life. Her blood pressure was 190/100 with a heart rate of 120. She was kept 2 days before her blood pressure finally came down.

My father managed to escape but this haunted him for the rest of his life. He didn't like to talk about it and rarely did. If those reading this don't know what the Bay of Pigs is, it was a military operation to rid Cuba of Castro. It was a fiasco to put it mildly. Most of those killed from the US were Cuban who were strongly opposed to Castro and his regime and wanted to overthrow him.

These pictures and video of course couldn't be used at trial of the celeb DJ as they had nothing to do with the car accident. The intent of causing pain and distress was the motive. Carlos tried to trace who sent this to his aunt but wasn't able to trace the person except that it had been sent in Russia which was very very weird. Could never prove that the celeb DJ was behind this but I know he was.

As you can imagine, many individuals of Cuban ancestry and those who had fought at the Bay of Pigs were furious and outraged that these pictures were sent to Aunt Clara. Just out of the blue I guess but everyone knew. Celeb DJ had someone do this for him.

Carlos is generally an easy going person who rarely gets angry. I had never seen him so angry. He told me that he hoped that he wouldn't find the person or person who sent his aunt the pictures and the video. He told me he would be very tempted to do bodily harm to them.

Wasn't long before this was sent to random people in Miami Cove. The celeb DJ said that this stuff had been around a long time which was true. Carlos had seen the pictures when he was a teen. He didn't believe it when a class mate said that they were in the library in Miami. They went down there and found the pictures. Lourdes and I saw the pictures in the Miami library. Her father had also died at the Bay of Pigs and there were pictures but it was separate from the others. There was a film also in the library but Lourdes and I didn't view it for fear of being punished if people found out. Carlos on the other hand saw the film footage when he was a teen. I had never seen this and have never seen it as I know what happened.

That wasn't the end by any means. Now the question was who was in the video that had been found in the personal belongings of my ex-boyfriend. I was on that video and I had no idea it existed. The film was very grainy and you could see a woman crying but you couldn't ID the woman who was driving the car. A camera was put in the car that Joshua forced me to drive in. I don't remember begging for my life but apparently I did. He told me that I would die that night. I only remember what happened after I was in the living room of the house.

The murder was captured from a distance. All you can hear is Joshua yelling insults at the men , them yelling at him and then one of the men killed him. The men can be seen running in the distance and one yells, "Let's Get the Hell out of here." That I do remember hearing them say.

On the video you can't see me coming out of the house but you can't make out who I am nor can you make out who Carlos is. The audio is so low that you can barely hear us talk. They couldn't tell if we were talking in English or Spanish (we were talking in Spanish).

Several days later

"The Murder case of Joshua Mills has been opened up as this is new evidence. We would like to speak with this woman (unfortunately all we know is that this woman and man on this video are most likely of Cuban ancestry) as we are concerned about her safety. We don't know if she went with this man willingly. The man and woman on this video aren't suspects in Joshua's murder but they might have information about who killed him. The audio is so low that we can't tell if they are speaking in English or Spanish."

Even if someone knew any information, no one was going to help Joshua Mills who was a serial killer and whose victims were young women of Cuban ancestry. Joshua Mills had the eyes of the devil, I can tell you that and I've looked into the eyes of the devil and survived. Lourdes wasn't so lucky.

Carlos told me who he called and it was the Captain of the Narcotics unit. On his report, Captain Gomez to protect Carlos never put the name of the person who called in to report the murder. In the report it says anonymous caller.

Captain Johnson is very old, in a nursing home and has no memory of who called that night. This is what Carlos wrote in his report as he interviewed the Captain. This was true. The Captain barely remembered who Carlos was. He died about a year later.

We never found out who gave my ex the video recording. All I know is that it wasn't Carlos but who? I'm wondering if it was Captain Johnson but then how would he have gotten access to this. Captain Johnson was a devout Baptist and didn't know my ex-boyfriend. I know that Carlos destroyed the tape in my presence. This was mostly to protect me as he didn't know and still doesn't know who killed Joshua.

My guess is if these men are still around (because they were involved in dealing and trafficking of drugs), they have probably been in jail or prison. It's possible they might be dead as dealing drugs is risky business. They would be in their 60's. Carlos believed that because Joshua Mills was so evil that he deserved what happened to him. Karma came around and bite him hard. I also believed that God spared me that night for a reason. Seems like I'm the sole survivor as no other women who went out there came out alive.

Finally after two years, celeb DJ was put on trial. Carlos was surprised that neither one of us was called at the criminal trial as we would be more character witnesses that witnesses for the defense or prosecution. Celeb DJ made my ex-boyfriend look like a bad person. Of course the parent who was angry about her kid getting expelled for bad behavior testified.

Another person that I had never met and who was proven never to have lived in Miami Cove said that my ex-boyfriend sexually harassed her. In Miami Cove, everyone pretty much knew every one else and I had never seen this woman before.

Celeb DJ didn't get away with his crime at first. He was found guilty, sentenced and then a higher court overturned the conviction and accused the jury of being biased against him.. One juror said that she didn't like the music that Celeb DJ played and this is why she voted guilty as charged. She probably had never actually heard the music but admitted to the court that she had a instant dislike of him when she saw him.

Five years for DUI homicide isn't a harsh sentence compared to the death sentence my ex-boyfriend got for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. If it hadn't come out about the juror being biased against celeb DJ, the case wouldn't have been thrown out of court but I doubt that he would have spent a day in jail.

My ex-boyfriend had no living family, as his parents were dead, his older brother was dead (the older brother who died at age 20 had no children) and no one family could be found. Celeb DJ never got sued by anyone. Karma has a way of coming back on you. For Celeb DJ it hasn't but I believe that if you don't make amends for what you have done in this life, you will have to in the afterlife and in the afterlife, high priced lawyers, fans and the court system will not protect you from judgment.

When my husband retired at age 60 he was given a party. We did some traveling in a camper and took a cross country trip in 2017. In mid 2019, Carlos became ill, very weak and tired. Turned out he had cancer. Less than a year later, Carlos died not from Cancer but from the flu.

There were so many people who had wonderful things to say about my husband. I grieve for him but I also celebrate his life as well.

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[hemlockdumpling]

South Park 2017 Advent Calendar ~ Day 5 HONOURABLE MENTION *SPOILERS*

Every five days during my South Park Advent Calendar, I will do little honourable mention lists for extra special stuff outside of the Episode Countdown. Today will be 10 Characters I Want To See Return To The Show. They have to be alive (sadly, no Pip) AND have not had a talking role in at least two Seasons. Doesn't matter if they have a slim chance in returning or not. Here we go.

10 Characters I Want To See Return To South Park

1. JESUS

First Seen: "The Spirit of Christmas: Jesus vs Frosty" Last Seen: "A Scause For Applause" (Season 16)

Founder of Christianity and member of Super Best Friends, Jesus made regular appearances in the early days of South Park, from the pilot special where he fought Frosty the Snowman to various episodes like "Damien, Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride, The Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka, Mr Hanky's Christmas Classics," and "Are You There, God? It's Me, Jesus." As the seasons rolled on, he was seen less frequently, though his more prominent roles were in "Super Best Friends" (S5,) "Red Sleigh Down" (S6,) "Fantastic Easter Special" (S11,) and the "200/201" two-parter. His last two appearances in Season 16 ~ "Butterballs" and "A Scause For Applause" ~ were a little more negative and even mean spirited, so it would be nice, given all the hysteria and confusion in later storylines, for a voice of reason from the past to return to help out. His positivity and generally chill attitude makes for a calming presence when things get bad. Jesus returns in The Fractured But Whole to bless you no matter what you believe in, so let's get that cool Jesus back, please? You have to wonder, though, is Jesus n' Pals still running or is Jesus a Full-Time SBF?

2. BOOK MOBILE DRIVER

First and Last Seen: "Chickenlover" (Season 2)

As a book lover and library assistant, I honestly liked the Book Mobile Driver from Season 2's "Chickenlover." I'm aware that drawing younger readers in to embracing "the magic of reading" is very difficult. Many kids do love their local libraries, something that warms my heart, and the honesty of the South Park boys in this episode, that reading is dumb and boring? It's not a bad thing because it reflects societal issues and what turns away some kids from this pursuit. I still get a giggle out the way the Book Mobile Driver presents himself to the children in this episode because I get it. I get that magic of reading because it's something I love and feel very passionate about. The chicken "loving" thing? Not so much. Libraries do not condone Chickenlover and his chicken loving ways. Definitely not. (South Park really does make me say the darnedest things.) His encouragement towards getting Barbrady to take up reading is endearing and positive, even if the way he goes about it is less than ideal. *sigh* There's really two problems with the Book Mobile Driver returning. The first is that it's never really confirmed whether Chickenlover is still alive or not. Some fans believe the nightstick blow to the head from Officer Barbrady actually killed him at the end of the episode, whereas others propose he's still alive, just knocked out. In fact, there's a very similar looking character seen in "Cartoon Wars, Part 1" running across the Community Centre, albeit with a slight difference to hairstyle. Could this be a released Book Mobile Driver, starting a new life? Secondly, his criminal record. The people of South Park will remember what he did, which would get in the way of any potential story line surrounding the role books, libraries and bookstores play in today's society. Unless we get a similar character in a literacy promoting role? A shame since that's something I would like to see.

3. THE COTSWOLDS

First Seen: "Hooked On Monkey Fonics" (S3) Last Seen: "Hooked On Monkey Fonics" (Rebecca) / "Imaginationland" (Mark)

Bless this Episode for giving us the Cotswolds. Two home-schooled siblings take part in a Spelling Bee with the South Park elementary students, not only winning, but Mark in particular becomes curious of public school, begging his parents to attend and "be like other kids." His sister, Rebecca, a Spelling Champion with the cutest mannerisms, still prefers her life the way it is...until Kyle encourages her, hoping to take her to the school dance. Aside from the way Rebecca is treated in the later stages of the episode, with some rather unfortunate shaming implications, this was a sweet little episode that made me hope the two would return in the future. Unfortunately, Rebecca has never been seen again since her debut and her brother Mark has been seen on at least three other occasions as a background character ("Professor Chaos" as a potential Fourth Friend," "The Death Camp of Tolerance" and even as late as Season 11 in "Imaginationland" at Cartman's party.) Perhaps Mark stayed on at public school like he said, while Rebecca returned to Homeschooling. We can only wish.

4. NURSE GOODLY

First Seen: "Cartman's Mom is Still a Dirty Sl*t" (S2)

When South Park nurses come to mind, the first one that fans may recall is Nurse Gollum, but there is one other that appeared early on that caught my attention and I would love to see again. Nurse Goodly, a nurse at Hells Pass Hospital. One of few red-haired characters in South Park (Red Heads represent,) she works hard at her job and offers support to the boys during the blizzard when things take a turn for the worst. Outside of her first appearance, Nurse Goodly also performs her duties in South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (with prosthetic arms) and during a dream sequence in "Cartman Joins NAMBLA." For the short time she appears in the show, I really thought she was Boss in her profession and it would be nice to see her return.

5. BRADLEY

First and Last Seen: "Cartman Sucks" (S11)

For the second time on this list, bless this soul. Bradley was Butters' "Acountibilibuddy" at Camp New Grace in "Cartman Sucks." In a camp dedicated to "praying the gay away," this poor boy is tormented, told his thoughts and curiosity about other boys is unnatural and wrong. The pressure is too much and he attempts to take his own life, only to be slowly talked back down by Butters. Sweetly enough, Bradley is seen in the Season 17 opening, fishing off a bridge, but it would be nice to catch up with him and see if him and Butters kept in touch after they left camp.

6. CHEF'S PARENTS ~ THOMAS AND NELLE MCELROY

First Seen: "The Succubus" (S3) Last Seen: "Red Sleigh Down" (S6)

Do I really have to spell out why I love these two? Really? Okay. They live in Scotland (Scotland represent) and their stories about the Loch Ness Monster hounding them for money is the absolute best. It's another one of those Early Day South Park memories I have, but it makes them all the more memorable. They seemed like a sweet married couple, returning in "The Biggest Douche in the Universe" to help out Cartman. Mr and Mrs McElroy are last seen in "Red Sleigh Down" back in Season 6, but are strangely absent at Chef's funeral later. Perhaps with Chef's absence from the show, they are very unlikely to return, but it would be nice to hear one of those Loch Ness stories again. This Scottish fan would love that.

7. MICKEY MOUSE

First Appearance: "Imaginationland" (Season 11) ~ Uncut DVD version Last Appearance: "Obama Wins!" (S16)

Yes, we're talking THAT Mickey Mouse. Anyone ever talked a little like Mickey, but said stuff that the Keyblade Master King would NEVER say? That's South Park Mickey for you. As the real head of Disney, Mr Mouse markets the boy band, the Jonas Brothers, to little girls, pushing the hot boy band angle with all the sexiness you'd expect, but get the band to promote Purity Rings so they don't get caught doing it and face a PR disaster. That make sense? Okay. Listening to the voice of Mickey saying all this kind of stuff, anything that isn't U rated, is always going to sound hilarious and him being the Big Bad is just funny stuff all around. He remains on the dark side in the two parter "200/201" as well as "Obama Wins!", still being money hungry and foul mouthed as ever. Can we get him back, please?

8. THOMAS

First and Last Seen: "Le Petit Tourette" (Season 11)

What is it with these one-shot characters? In "Le Petit Tourette," Thomas is a boy who lives with Tourette's Syndrome, mortified every time he is in public because he feels he embarrasses himself and his mother. He was the heart of this episode, showing that for someone like Cartman who fakes having the condition only to blurt out obscenities without punishment, seeing it as a "Golden Ticket," there are people out there who struggle with the condition, who face ridicule and hardships every day. Thomas, in particular, opens up to Kyle about his life, that he fears going out in public, considers himself the cause of his parents separating and that he feels his mother would be happier without him. It is this emotional core to the episode that gives it something a little extra, which is why Thomas ~ for me ~ is a fondly remembered character, and one I would love to see return. Perhaps Thomas and Craig did hang out once or twice and stay friends? Maybe Kyle still talks to him after the episode's end?

9. THE MOLE

First Seen: "South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut" Last Seen: "Two Guys Naked In A Hot Tub" (S3)

How shameful to admit I almost forgot about Christophe. I was close to putting Corey from "Informative Murder Porn" on the list, a similar character with a secret agenda, when I remembered the Golden Rule of the Movie. Everyone that died came back. Thus, everyone's favourite undercover, cursing Mole enters. With a heavy French accent, Christophe ~ aka "The Mole" ~ assists the boys in sneaking into the USO show to rescue Terrance and Phillip, only for things to go horribly wrong. For the short time he graces our screens, he made an impression, one that still lasts. He got a sneaky cameo in Season 3's "Two Guys Naked In A Hot Tub," reminding us he's still around, so maybe he's long overdue another cameo or three?

10. DAMIEN THORN

First Seen: "Damien" (Season 1) Last Seen: "Oh, Jeez" (Season 20) / Last Talking Role ~ The Stick of Truth"

Wow. This takes me back. Though Damien is seen as late as Season 20 ("Oh, Jeez,") his last talking role to memory seems to be in The Stick Of Truth if the New Kid finds him in the Cinema. Other than being an unlockable character in South Park Rally, Damien is only heard in his first ever episode, "Damien" in Season 1. The Son Of Satan is seen in the background often and was even a potential candidate to be the Fourth Friend to replace Kenny in Season 6, though he lost to Tweek. Maybe it's the nostalgia talking, but it's another fondly remembered episode from the early days, whether it's the high-pitched voice cursing eternal damnation that Matt Stone gives him or that ominous chanting, he's someone I always hoped would get another chance to shine, even if in a minor role. Sadly, with Pip gone, he will have to try and find new friends again. Maybe a new episode with Damien and Satan, life as father and son? Try not to turn your new friends into fireworks?

Hope you liked my list. Who would you like to see return to South Park?