#going to this park was an actual life goal of mine

[uhhhhmanda]

THESE ARE PICTURES OF THE EARTH'S MANTLE. The mantle is usually under the crust. It's usually 30 miles down. It's usually about 1000 degrees Fahrenheit. But in this park an hour's drive from my house, the edge of the tectonic plate has gotten so fucked up that the mantle is exposed! I walked on it! I touched it! I freaked out pretty hard!

[lillysilvermoon]

What your Future Spouse will admire about you?

Pile 1

Your reading is SO BEAUTIFUL Pile 1, really😭😭

First of all: you have a very feminine energy (high priestess) which is like kryptonite for man🤣😁. You see, the hight priestess have a profound connection with God/Goddess. She believes everyone has their own inner guidance to lead them to their true potential. And you do this! You trust your intuition, follow your heart and your instincts and this makes your s.p just go crazy, I feel like he is very logical and he admires your away of leadership, in your own away (doesn't matter if you realize this or not) you are a leader, you inspire people without even realizing it. With you, he feels healed, you just bring so much peace, calmness and joy to him. And talking about joy: you have a childlike personality, you inner child is very happy and free, you know when it's time to be silly (happy dance) and he admires this in you, you bring his child side and makes he feels comfortable to play and just be silly with you. I feel like my heart will explode of joy right now so I think that's how he feels with you, and this makes he admire you a lot because at the same time you are a very elegant, femine and wise, very responsible you ALSO are fun to be with, you know how to play and you have this magic to him. (He loves you so very much I just can't 😭💗).

And you are confident, I feel you have the mindset of "what is mine will find me" so if something goes wrong you just drive to overcome the obstacle in a positive way. When you have a goals, you work with very fierce energy to bring them to fruition (but the thing is: you do all fo this in a very feminine, gentle and fun way, and he just admires you incredible for this).

Signs: jupiters placements, Gemini, cancer and aries and number's 6,9,5 and 8 (I think cancer's placements are important because cancer's symbol looks like a 69 and you had this two numbers. Cam also be dates or months), books, library, education, parks, lakes and flowers. (And music!!!!!! Omg I think it's important to youu or them, maybe he'll communicate his feelings by songs)

P.S: I was going to pile two but I just heard this: you help them to heal his inner child in some way, and this is something very very important to them and by extension to y'all relationship.

P.S²: I was again going to Pile two- but here it is: he admires you for that because, I feel like this problem with his inner child maybe has affected in a negative way his others relationships and you, somehow, handle this really easy, you don't even realize actually (and I just saw he looking to any place in particular think about this and feeling genuinely happy)

Blonde and redhead for some feel here.

Pile 2

Finally I'm here, hello pile 2♡ let's get into your reading shall we?

Calmness. You are so calm, even in the worst situations, you maintain a sense of peace (or try your best to!). I see here that you have multiple interests and you try to balance all of them and other areas of your life, but you don't stress yourself with this. It's like, if doesn't work it's fine, cause you are adaptable and flexible (and he REALLY admires this because I feel like your future Spouse has a tiny-bit-tittie problem with control (wink nod) and you are kind of the opposite lmao, he see you having all this interests and priorities but... it's not a obligation like "omg I HAVE to do ALL" no. You want to do all, but it's okay if don't work some days, he admires you organization and the way you management your time and schedule. I feel your s.p like calm and stable people, he doesn't like unnecessary drama in his life and you just have this flow, if something doesn't work you just be flexible and this is important too: you think before make decisions! 100% not reactive, you think and go inwards before choosing anything. And you have a introspective side that he just loves too much.

I feel like you are someone who brings them peace love and very good advices when needed (after all no one likes be with someone who just complains, fight for every minimal thing, always need to be right to feel "respected" etc, he admires the peace bring with you.) I feel he deals with a lot of stress in his work place and when he sees you... it's too good, like a oasis.

Signs: poems, tea, wind place, scorpio, leo, sagittarius, venus, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune placements are important, numbers 7, 11 and 12 (can be days, months or house in astrology; 7 represents love and commercial partnerships and our relation with public, 11 it's ruled by Saturn and Uranus (definitely a lot of air sign) and talks about flow, strong thinking and important of expansion and 12 it's the house of our unconscious, fears, dreams and spirituality)

Pile 3

I feel like you give a lot of importance to material possessions, you don't act like "Oh money isn't important blablabla" you know money is important, you work to have a good life, to you things like good education, good house in a great neighborhood, travel to have fun but to also acquire culture and knowledge, good clothes with quality. This are important too you (is giving me old money mindset vibes and if you don't know about it, and I'm NOT talking about the "old money" from Tiktok - I highly recommend the "The Old Money Book: Living better while spending less" to you, it's very short has 158 pages) but you don't live FOR money, the money is your servant not your master!

He admires how you always seem to have a behavior like "this is only temporary and shall pass soon" when something bad or uncomfortable happens, and he really admires this. You have a very outgoing personality, full of energy and optimism (and you have some kind of sex appeal but in a elegant way), you are not afraid to work to have the things you desire, your energy is very positive and uplifting (I feel like your future Spouse enjoys SO MUCH talk to you, he loves to see you so determined to get the things you want and he has this feeling that you two will evolve and grow together.

Also: you are a generous soul, with money and with your time, love and affection and wisdom. Maybe you are into some charity, you are very loving and loyal and this... big turn on to them, I think it's honestly the thing he admires most about you, your personality, your values. You like a rare jewel to them.

Signs: VERY strong water placements, pisces, scorpio and cancer, moon, sun and Mars placements (makes so much sense because mars rules goals) numbers 6, 5, 4 and 8 (can be days, months or house. 6 its concrete and practical knowledge, it's also associated to cleanse, maintenance, work capacity and routine service's (again: makes so much sense, you guys value quality and take care of what you have so last longer, don't have need to buy new things), 5 it's you creative side, what gives you pleasure, 4 it's what we have most profound in us and 8 transition of life and things, ending of cycles).

Hope y'all like this reading, it's my first reading related to love and I'm so happy, I had so much fun doing this and hope you guys too. See you in the next reading.

Xoxo

- Lia

[missmarveledsblog]

FLUMPY part 11 ( jake seresin x reader)

summary : with roo , nat and jake gone the remainder of the dagger squad take it as their mission to make sure that the pregnant girlfriend and their friend is taken care of while she is racing to tell her dad before someone else is going to let it slip , dealing with life without jake being by her side isn't as fun and she is counting down the days til he and her favorite people return .

warning: other than my spelling and grammatical error this is a mostly fluffy goofy chapter with the mentions of pregnancy and all the good stuff that comes with it . the men of the dagger squad being big brother goals ,some mentions of an encounter with a shitty human who tries to hurt a dog.

(previous part)

She sat sitting in the car not actually knowing what it was that had her crying . was it the hormones , the fact jake was gone for three months or fact he didn’t dump her there and then . she didn’t know how long it was she was there but the crowds were long gone some even stopped to see was she ok that was til she heard a tapping on her window only to see bob standing there holding container in one hand and smile on his face . 

“ hey what you doing here” she sniffled trying not to look like an absolute mess .

“ nat sent me told me you needed this and probably a hug” he stood shyly only for her to start crying even more. “ shit you want me to bring you good duck park rooster and hangman said that cheers you up” he offered quickly only for her to cry harder. 

“ they know me to well” she sobbed as he pulled her into a hug  knowing or thinking he knew why she was crying . 

“ we can just go home or hard deck i’ll even do a shot with you” he smiled. 

“ i’ll go the hard deck but i can’t drink “ she winced.  “ kinda erm pregnant which with how loud jake yelled it  well i need to see my dad quickly “ knowing some of the men where actually worse with the how lose their lips could be . sure national  and classified secret hold til the grave but moment it came to things of normal like well they turned into a sewing circle. 

“ congratulations really” he smiled widely . 

“ ugh your so cute” she sniffled wiping her nose .  

“ come on leave you care we can come back for it later or i’ll leave mine either way your in no shape to drive”  bob help her out of the car she instantly notice how his touch got softer almost like any pressure would break her making her roll her eyes but hug the WSO  hard . 

The moment she walked into the hard deck all eyes were on her , giving bob a nod she headed over to her dad who sat talking away to penny til his eyes landed on her . 

“ well didn’t think i would see you in this place for nine months” he crossed his arms . 

“ worse then high schoolers” she turned to the officers standing around promptly turning their attention to anything else under her heated gaze .  “ i was going to tell you properly but jake well yelled so loud honestly  surprise you didn’t hear him from your place” she joked smiling awkwardly. 

“ pay up “ penny smirked. 

“ can you two stop betting on my life please it’s a bit odd but also go penny” she rolled her eyes hugging her dad. 

“  i would of rather heard it from you but the free drinks helped “ he chuckled. 

“ hey i want free stuff not alcohol if wanna be generous nacho’s would be awesome” she yelled out . 

“ so i guess jake happy” penny laughed hugging her. 

“ yeah i was so nervous then the whole dock found out got lots of hugs from strangers” she nodded . 

“ well heres a free cola on me  and looks like the guys are waiting for you” penny smiled nodding her head over to the little small group of the dagger squad. 

“ we come over tomorrow anyways go kiddo enjoy” pete kissed her head. 

“ yeah coyote looks more lost without jake than i do “ she teased making  her way through the crowd nodding at the congratulation til she got to the usual spot only for javy to lift her off the ground with a hug  almost spilling her drink but like a knight in shining armour bob took it from her hand put on table . 

“ our baby is having a baby “ he cheered . 

“ excuse me “ she laughed , 

“Oh we decided a while back you were our little sister so not up to you “ fanboy shrugged. 

“ i’ve no say in this?” she asked . 

“ nah .. plus one of us already called mav dad before” payback snickered. 

“ that was once and it was slip of the tongue” bob grumbled. 

“ we even cleared it with rooster” coyote winked  as she hugged the others . 

“ well i’m glad you got his approval “ she rolled her eyes taking her seat. 

“ so as your new found big brothers and future uncle to the baby seresin / mitchell that is growing inside of that tummy of your we are here at your beck and call so even if heartburn or some shit  in the middle of night you gotta call us “ payback informed her honestly it felt like she was being scolded like a naughty child. 

“ even if it’s for ice cream” fanboy added only for penny to bring over a container filled with nacho in front of her. 

“ courtesy of yale” she snorted. 

“Hey thank yale” she yelled mouth watering at the food before her only for more food items to be brought throughout her time in the hard deck that night some by the people that got them or to the point penny sent the delivery man or woman directly to y/n . each time she yell out the thanks to the name on the receipt . 

By the time she and bob got his car and she head home she’d enough  containers to feed  her for the week or least first couple of days .

Jake honestly was  up and down from one moments of being happy then being scared shitless within the space of few hours he was going through a series of emotions.  It  honestly  gave nat and bradley whiplash trying to keep up with him .  one hand he was so excited for  the chapter of his life , he was older almost into his forties so the fact he was going to start a family well it was everything . then it was fact he was actually going to be a father what if he was shit at it or his kid resented him for being in the navy or  what if something left him inured or worse kill in action . then he was afraid of not being there for his girl the fact she was going through three months alone without  him  being at her side. What if something happened and he couldn’t be there for her . now he was sat with phoenix and rooster since honestly the two need to get him to chill out or else get him sedated . 

“She not going to be alone the guys will be there and her dad” nat said softer than the usual tone she would take with hangman of all people. “ plus you and bradshaws got like weird spidey sense sort of thing with her so if you even for a second felt something was off you would … we all would honestly swim back to san diego” .  

“ she is right we knew she was off after that sea food platter and when she gets her period which now isn’t a problem because she can’t have either of those while pregnant” rooster smirked .  

“ he’s got a point” nat laughed, 

“ i’m going to miss three month of her pregnancy of my first child “ he finally said  looking down to his hands . 

“ barely anything happens in first three months” nat tried to play it off. 

“ scan says she 10 weeks so she be what six months when i get back”  he scoffed . 

“ well once your there for the birth meeting your first child , thats the main show my friend plus way you two go at it you’’ll get to experience it again” roo wince considering he caught them in considerably a few compromising times . 

“ honestly i’m surprised she wasn’t pregnant sooner” nat nodded along . 

“ yeah not helping , i just wished it was different i mean what if something was to happen to me “ he asked the two . 

“ i think coyote called dibs on y/ns” rooster said easily. 

“ so did bob” nat nodded along .

“ again not helping” he deadpanned. “ i don’t want my kid to grow up or my girl to be heartbroken trying to explaining   why daddy ain’t around i mean it hard thing to go through” . 

“ here as the only orphan of the group yes it hard  but i turned out fine my mom made life the best even if she was dealing with a broken heart , plus trauma make you funnier why you think me and pretty girl are so hilarious “ bradley winked. 

“ she does say she half way to being batman only Mav in her way” nat chuckled. 

“ look bagman sadly your a good guy and well we do unpredictable shit but your are going to be one of those fuckers that dies like ripe old age shitting in his diaper” bradley patted his back . 

“ i say this with love but don’t comfort people outside of our group but also thanks it weirdly helped “ jake said slightly surprise how it help just now he was counting down the moment he would get to see her . 

Waking up to a half empty bed was something she was never going to get over it . it had  been two weeks since they were gone and still felt like it was going to be forever before they got home . like it was perfect time every symptom decided to come at once leaving her napping during her lunch break or her head in the toilet . since word spread quickly of her pregnancy everyone was almost babying her making her want to honest bite them or something . admiral simpson also got a recruit one who was studying engineering to “Intern for her” which was his way making sure she wasn’t doing anything too strenuous but did mean she had to guide the dude through literally everything.  Luke wasn’t a bad kid and well poor fucker got confused more times then he should of plus calling him kid was a bit much given he was only a couple years closer . she notice kyle and coyote instantly being there too if she so much as looked at something they deemed too heavy. But true to their words one night she rang them crying because well she felt lonely and they all came and watched movie even camped out in the living room like it was a sleep over . whenever she mention of craving something well they would come back later with said thing .  bob even  got her new overalls when the little bump that started to protrude  out took her til she went home to realise what he done  , it wasn’t big by any means but still clothes where starting to get a bit tight . even mama seresin and jakes sisters sent some maternity clothes  down for her to wear and she had to give it to them they found cool stuff . she never wore the pj’s though because at night she would take one of jakes T-shirts wear them to bed was closest thing to having him there .  even during the week the guys including the newbie kyle brought her to the good duck part even making friends with the senior citizens that were there .  she was never so lucky in life as she was now to have the friends she did   when it came down to it moving to san diego and starting fresh was the best thing she ever done. 

Walking with the guys , shopping for stuff to send the guys that weren’t there care package she needed to rest when they spot some sport store honestly she zoned out half way telling them she wanted to rest on bed to knock themselves out . 

“ stupid mutt” was all she heard pulling her attention to a man yelling down at a terrified dog .  instantly she was protective mode hauling her ass off the bench no longer tired .  “ waste of money stupid thing” he spat going to kick the already shivering and cowering dog. 

“ hey asshole” she snapped pushing him away . 

“ mind your business lady nothing to do with you” he growled. 

“ i’m making it my business what fuck is wrong with you kicking a defenseless dog” she spat not noticing that fanboy was already rounding them up the moment he spot her walking off from the bench. 

“ again none of your fucking business chubs now fuck off what i do with my dog is my business”. 

“ and i told you dickless .. can i call you that because you’d have to be a dickless asshole to hurt an animal what pisses me off is if this little guy defended himself he would be branded a monster ,  don’t mind the dickless man you poor little baby “ she cooed down at the dog instantly cowering behind her. “ what if i hit you huh cut you down to size and chubs really dude you look more pregnant that i do “ she scoffed. 

“ listen lady keep you mouth shut or i’ll… “  he started. 

“ or you what , i hope you aint talking to our sister like that pal” coyote stood making himself bigger as the rest followed. 

“ because she can’t hit you in her condition “ fanboy added. 

“ but we can” bob spoke completely different honestly she was a little impressed . 

“ what like i’m afraid of you” the man said yet his face gave it away instantly. 

“ you should be “ payback stood in front of her. 

“ you know what you care so much about the bag of flea take it ain’t worth it” the man rushed off as they walked him til he drove off only to hear her giggling and laughing . 

“ he likes me” she beamed up at them . 

“ please let us be there when you tell jake” fanboy snorted.

“ he’ll get over it , day got better free dog and awesome cool bodyguards … sorry brothers now lets go get this little peanut some new things “ she smiled happily. 

 “ she’s gonna be the death of us “ kyle sighed and they all agreed. 

“ it doesn’t actually have flea’s right we took my car here” bob gulped.

Lucky for bob peanut did not in fact have  fleas but he was skin and bone . peanut was only seven months old pitbull and nothing to him  , she brought him everywhere even to the hard deck letting sit with her and the guys although he was nervous at first when it got busy but soon got use to it even  only place she couldn’t bring him was work and  so she brought him to a doggy day care one of the officers recommended one night at hard deck . two weeks was all it took for the pooch to get use to the new dynamic given it was probably the most attention he’s gotten in his life . now she was sitting on her sofa patiently ( for her ) for jake to call he let her know he had a slot for facetime coming up and she was looking forward to it  almost counting the seconds til she could  finally see him . 

“ now we gotta do this smart ok” she said to the dog currently sitting at her feet only for the phone to ring out and her to rush at it almost dropping it  as she hit the answer button . 

“ hey baby” god even his voice made her insides melt. 

“ jake i missed you so much “ she almost cried she was so happy to finally see and hear him . 

“ i missed you too hows baby” he asked nervously. 

“Growing and currently kicking my ass i mean of course they would given they’re half you , look ” she giggled holding the sonograms up . “ i sent some in care package so you’ll get to see it for yourself  i asked them kept gender surprise til your home so we will get to see it together “ she cooed. 

“ darling …. Tell me something and tell me truth” he asked his eyes coming closer. 

“ anything ask away “ she smiled sweetly. 

“ why is there a dog sitting beside you “ he asked wondering if weeks at sea was making him see things only for her to see peanut was in fact sitting beside her . 

“ well long story short , we were shopping for the care packages and well the guys went to soon store while i wanted to chill out on bench this douche was kicking him and then he called me chubby like dude looked like he was carrying quads anyways after fat shaming and threats boom free dog isn’t he a cutie” she cooed. 

“ darling don’t those eat babies” he whispered . 

“ oh my god your like the shelters … jake seresin are you dog racist” she gasped .

“ dog racist?”. 

“ these dogs are sweethearts it media and dumb ass idiots that make them like monster but peanut is a sweetheart better then the chihuahua in his daycare i think that dog hates me” she winced.

“ dog daycare darling how long is he there?” he chuckled.

“ oh like two weeks , we watch golden girls with miss wilson too  she knitted him a  little cardigan he’s still skinny as hell but he’s coming along greatly” she smiled softly kissing the dogs head. 

“Well i guess i can’t wait to meet him and tell rooster we have a dog now,” he chuckled 

The two chatted trying to fit in everything in the limited amount of time before he had to say goodbye only now peanut was added in to which confused the hell why the phone was talking to him but still wagged his little tail . when the call did end he got up in her lap and licked away the tears that fell down her cheek. 

“thank fuck you're here” she smiled sadly hugging him closely to her.  Only two more months to go before jake was home . 

part 12

taglist : @harrysgothicbitch @djs8891 @darksparklesficrecs @emma8895eb5eb @sarah-bear706318

[aestherin]

KEEP MY HEART

goal 09: do you like sweets?

You are fully self-aware that you have delusional tendencies, but you know yourself well enough to think that you weren't that far gone yet to the point that you will start seeing your long distance crush right in front of you.

He's probably real.

Taking notice of your presence, Scaramouche then turned towards you. His face was hard to read, other hand holding his phone and the other inside the pockets of his denim pants. His oversized black shirt was tucked, highlighting his good figure.

'Holy. He's got good style too,' you thought. It was simple, yes. But he carries outfits so damn well.

But what is he even doing here in your uni?

Since an eye contact has already been made, you flashed a sheepish smile and a light wave. Your loud personality online was such a huge contrast in comparison to how you're actually behaving now.

He just stared. 'Oh. So he's the cold type. God, he's exactly my type.'

"Aren't you going in?" You snapped out of your musings upon hearing his voice.

"I was about to. I'm starving," you chuckled. He scoffed. "I could use a bit of food, too."

"We should eat at the birthday party then."

"Kazuha's?"

You nod.

He looked away. "Go and eat inside. I'll find another place to eat at."

You flashed a look of disbelief. Scaramouche raised a brow in confusion. "Dude, you're literally already at a restaurant and you still want to go somewhere else to eat?"

"And you're hungry, aren't you?"

He sighed. "Look, I don't know if you know this, but the one holding a party — well, we're not on the best of terms."

Oh. Yeah.

There's that thing.

How the fuck could you forget that the love of your life is from the rival of your brother's team?

"Ah," You nod again. He seemed to take it as you understanding his reasoning and turned the other way, attempting to head off.

If only you hadn't tugged at his shirt.

"What the?!"

You led him to a lone bench at the parking lot, lit warmly by the streetlight just directly above it. "Sit there and wait for me."

"Excuse me?" He hissed. "What am I? A dog?"

"Your words, not mine." You grinned. "Just do as I say, okay? It won't be long, I promise."

He was about to retort but you cut him off by hurriedly entering the lively restaurant.

When you got back, you easily spotted Scaramouche who was sitting comfortably on the bench where you left him. He immediately scooted over once he saw you.

"Wow," he remarked. "You know I actually doubted if you would even come back."

You chuckled as you sat and handed him his plate. "Do you have trust issues?"

"Shut the fuck up."

"Oh, so you do."

He rolled his eyes.

Your late dinner with him was mostly filled with a comforting silence, with some bits of small talk in between. The only ones left on your plate were delectable desserts, as well as the little pieces of food you left out.

"Do you like sweets?"

"No," Scaramouche speedily replied. "They're disgusting."

You subconsciously frown. "Shame. I like them."

"You can have mine then," he says as he picks up his portion of desserts and transfers them to your plate. Unbeknownst to you, his observant gaze failed to miss how your eyes sparkled in delight at the sight of mouthwatering sweets.

As he did so, Scaramouche also spotted some leftovers on your plate. "Do you not like bitter stuff?"

"My tongue can't handle them."

"Give it to me then instead of wasting food, idiot."

You let out a laugh. "Is that your way of saying you like bitter stuff?"

The man just let out a quiet "tch" before taking a bite.

KEEP MY HEART — scara x reader smau

previous . masterlist . next

SUMMARY —you find plenty of guys around you attractive, but there is only one you’re willing to make the first move on: the guy you first saw during your older brother’s soccer game. spoiler: he's a player from your rival university.

NOTES -> a lot has happened lmaoo i was so busy aaa -> i graduated hs finally :P -> i also submitted my requirements for college haha -> also can u guys believe i'm gonna be in college while my college smau is on going omg -> and apologies for ghosting HASDHADHA (also wtf fontaine livestream tomorrow already whaaat time flies so fast omg)

TAGLIST I (closed)

@lady-elodie @krnzysh @syriiina @unsterblich-prinz @xiaosonlybeloved @xiaomainlmao @cindywasneverhere @coquettemaiden @sunsethw4 @lunavixia @calickoh @arealistonao3 @lowkeyivorie @zyilas @mondaymelon @yukiipc @heartswonder @st0pthatsgay @ozzierenato @astreaa-express @shewolfmiko @lovelyycherries @myaaones @countessqin @aloveablechaos @letthewindlead @lunaavity @local-blueberry-boy @luminestars @layla240 @useless-potatho @atlaszi @alatusorrow @lahsram2201 @sakiimeo @user11918163805279 @vqazx @neigesprincess @kunicrush @yoursockstinks @hotgirlshit5 @mikctp @crucnhice @apotatouwu @yuaenri @sammybeefangirls @miko1ly @deffenferofjustice @etherisy @sagegreenthinks

[windandwater]

Hitachinaka, Ibaraki Prefecture, Japan: Hitachi Seaside Park Miharashi Hill, Nemophila / Baby Blue-Eyes

The park's iconic flower is the blue nemophila, which covers Miharashi Hill in the spring and mimics the color of the sky. The flowers are usually at their peak from late April to mid May. Paths crisscross the hill providing views over the Pacific Ocean and the rest of the park.

--Japan-Guide.com

My original thought was to go to Japan in March, but when I realized (remembered) that it was a life goal of mine to see a hill of nemophila in person, I rapidly reversed course and was overjoyed to discover that the weeks available to me in April were peak bloom time. This park along with the second seaside park I went to later in the trip were an actual dream come true and alone would have been worth the travel.

[eleventhhourfactor]

First day of 2025 has been good so far. So good, in fact, that I've decided to actually make a self-reflection/look to the future post, as much as I'm trying not to be vain.

Anyway...2024. There was a lot happening there.

If we're looking at Tumblr alone, it's pretty clear that this was the year that solidified Mario and Luigi as a hyperfixation for me. Helped along by the mutuals I made along the way, I turned out a lot of stories for AO3--moreso than I'd ever done for any other fandom prior to this. It's...mindblowing, honestly. Just the year before, I'd written and deleted my works after becoming convinced that it wouldn't amount to anything and ought as well not be out there. It was a pattern I longed to break, and I think I've finally cracked it, and I've never been happier to put myself out there and be cringe and free.

The rest of 2024 was a hell of a lot of change for me--mostly good. I moved across the country, started writing for another company, found another special interest in the form of Mario RPGs. I also realized that a load of my extended family have garbage takes, and that I alone can't fix that for them. My cat needed teeth taken out, my car got hit by a delivery truck in the parking lot, and I got holed up at my in-laws' house with the flu on Christmas Day. I'm still trying to make real-life friends, which seems to be an outstanding issue for little ol' me. Outside of college, I've never been great at making and keeping friends.

But I do have my network, without which I wouldn't have been able to publish a story, plan a big move, or even doodle on occasion. And you, dear mutuals and others, are a part of that, I've come to realize. It's stupid and corny, but there's something really neat about going to the internet and nerding out about things through headcanon posts, fabulous art, and wonderfully-written tales. What's even crazier is what fanwork can drive me to do in my original little things.

So, for 2025, along with some outstanding fics I need to wrap up and work on, I also want to put some work and effort into fleshing out a long-running project of mine: the world of Astrara, the worldhoppers moving throughout, and the threads of the universe tying it all together. There's characters I've been bouncing around in my skull for nearly a decade now, and it's about time I clear the sad lack of confidence from my space and actually draw them to the life they deserve. Might I make a comic? Who knows. For the next year, I just want to draw my little dudes until I run out of pencils, and then scan it in and color digitally. I want to make more art, and I want to write out the story of Lenora, Aylín, and their absolutely batshit journey to find their way home. Or at least, get the bullet points down and go from there.

It's crazy, but I thought turning out over a dozen fanfics was insane as well, and look where I'm at. Anything can happen. The spark has caught aflame. I want to keep creating. For the first time ever, I want to keep going with whatever the heck I've got going instead of letting it sit while I grind to live.

So, follow me as I get this going. See how far I go or fall short. Maybe ask me some more about what exactly I'm working on. I'd love to brainstorm and share and get others interested, too.

A bit of insurance in the form of doodles. Lenora on the left, Aylín on the right. One's being careful, the other wants to fight.

Kinda funny how much I project onto my own little stories.

Thank you all for sticking with me. Sorry this turned from reflection to a bit of narcissist goal-setting, but I've never felt so set on a creative goal before. This project means a lot to me and my growth over time, and without stepping out and meeting you all, I'd never be able to do this. So, thank you for being there, and I hope I've been able to do half as much for you.

Under the cut special! Sending love to all the people who keep me going on here. Like, y'all are so great. You are all great people.

So, mutuals and creators I admire (as well as my frens), this one's for you:

@giddlygoat @peaches2217 @snakeeyesdraws @bberetd @itsavee4117 @silenzahra @silksongmaiden @fyreburning @akiiame-blog @megamagimugi @supergay-64 @artizonka @rainbogen @loud-kid2 @@diamondempp @dooxliss @lu1g199 @laatgag @moriouchou-radio @thegravityshark @gustygardns @vulpixfairy1985 @vbnhuet

[suusoh]

i wanna know what’s your theory on what happened to johan after the ending since it’s up to the audiences imagination yk?

THANK YOU FOR ASKING MY THOUGHTS ON THIS ANON! I give you kiss ( ˘ ³˘)♥︎ I'm going to diverge more on headcanons of him in another post. These are just my nonsensical interpretations of Johan after monster.

(tw: talks of multiple suicide attempts (all failed though don't worry))

Another anon of mine sent another similar ask (will post said ask shortly as it dwelves more into the x reader aspects hehe) gave the description of post-monster/ post-rurenheim johan as "a juxtaposition to his regular omnipotent self" which is a 1000% perfect way on how I'd describe him post-monster/post-rurenheim.

I really do believe that although he still has a prowess for manipulation skills and psychology after monster, he wouldn't have as much charisma as before. Part of his godly charisma came from the fact that he himself has no identity so he can fine tune himself to anyone (presenting himself with such a pleasing expression and personality, his agreeability with some would come from his own lack of personall thoughts). But now that he's got his own individuality and a name, he wouldn't bother with being agreeable anymore, as it isn't as natural for him anymore.

It's kind of why he doesn't even bother keeping a soft smile anymore at the end of monster when he was confronting dr tenma. He's not trying to be approachable anymore, and instead opts to actually showing how he's feeling rn. Instead of just using a pleasant expression as a placeholder on his face. I mean just look at the stark difference:

All the trauma and stress has finally catched up to him and has even taken a PHYSICAL toll on his body as well. I haven't noticed it before as I thought it was just an art style, but you can can notice that over time after he uncovers his past since the library, his face actually starts growing eye bags

like he is TIRED. He cannot do this anymore, he's burnt out. Which is the number one characterization I would give him post-monster.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE when he is interpreted as still having that small serene smile on his face and living his life calmly after monster. I subscribe to that characterization and would write him like that too, especially if we're going to interpret it as it being second nature or muscle memory for him to have that politeness. —It's just another part of me loves the idea that him being slightly rude and unapproachable even. A part of his reclaiming of his own humanity, is him not keeping up appearances anymore. He doesn't need to keep up politeness and being friendly anymore.

Another thing I can see him doing for a while is actually being quite... listless? If that makes sense. Like he would just do a good solid nothing for a while. Walk around in parks and other places trying to take in the world around him again. Trying to grasp life after losing his inner monster/kinderheim programming/fucked up coping mechanism.

He might try bars now and other social gatherings to see the hype and try to feel something. But maybe it just makes him feel all the more alienated and detached from society. Imagine being surrounded by so much people but still feel so alone. He'd feel all the more disconnected from humanity.

--- talks of suicide start here ---

Kind of dark here but I think this might lead him to trying to attempt at ending his life again. He sees it so pointless now and his entire focal point has been shattered

He knows him and his sister aren't the same people anymore, he knows that he doesn't have to keep living his life as her shadow/half a person/the "worse" version of her. But man... after 20+ years of living like that it's really gonna hit once you realise that you can't do your sole life goal anymore...

His despair might come in the form of him genuinely not knowing how to live. Throughout monster it kinda felt like he was on autopilot, his own individuality and sense of self taking a backseat. So imagine out of nowhere the plane's crashing and you're suddenly put in the driver's seat all of a sudden when, you didn't even bother learning how to drive or fly this thing in the first place because 1.) You were convinced you didn't need to drive ever, you were forcefully stuffed in the plane's cargo by adults who traumatized you, 2.) You didn't even know you'd be flying this long.

(sorry for the plane analogy i'm just rambling my raw thoughts 💀 but yes man is lowkey crashing and burning)

If we're gonna put it in a smaller more related level, imagine your entire life you grew up trained to be like...like an archaeologist or something, like your childhood bedroom had archaeology stuff, you were raised to study archaeology and only archaeology, you excelled at it, you had the gear for archaeology, you're in college studying archaeology and even having a specific vision in your mind of you being an archaeologist....the only thoughts you grew up with is you and archaeology.

Only to find out from nowhere that you never actually were into archaeology. And that you liking archaeology (aka your hobby/interest, your entire IDENTITY) was conditioned and instilled into you by weird freaky scientists when you were a child. You find out that you actually had a personality BEFORE archaelogy, and now you're 20 and you've spent more than a decade of your life dedicated to archaeology only to find out that maybe this whole time archaeology isn't even a thing you liked in the first place.

yeah that's basically the library revelation. HAFHDJAH archaeology being his "monster".

And now you're wandering through life, that isn't about you being an archaeologist..... OF COURSE YOU'D FUCKING DESPAIR. What are you even supposed to do now????

But funnily enough, Naoki Urusawa says that monster is actually a dark comedy in his eyes (Lmaooo just as I thought. I was giggling watching monster), so in true shakespearean tragic-comedy fashion, Johan's attempt here might become a fail. Divine intervention if you will.

But worry not friends, as this suicide attempt of his was made when his monster was gone, where his coolness and emotional detachment are also gone. So I think him doing a suicide attempt post-monster might actually, in some miraculous roundabout way.... scare him a bit for the first time.

I think the scene/poem "The View from Halfway Down" from "Bojack Horseman" is the best way to describe how I see he'll start feeling things.

He'd wonder why his heart is beating suddenly and why a cold sweat is forming on his face and on his palms, and why his breathing is out of control. He's confused as hell as to why his adrenaline spiked up. He walked on the ledges of rooftops, the number of times he's had guns pointed at him is more than the fingers on his hands, he died twice for goodness sakes. So why?...why is he feeling this all of a sudden? he'd start to grow a bit frustrated because this doesn't. make. sense.

If we're still gonna go with the dark comedy route, we could write him as him trying and trying again to off himself💀i'm so sorry. I'm just rolling with Urusawa's vision here of him saying monster is a dark comedy. Each time Johan attempts with ending his life, it would just fail.

But if he got spooked off on his first suicide attempt post-monster, he'd probably stop after that one. Not because he wants to keep living, but because his stupid (incredible) brain chemicals keep making his body hesitate to off himself.

He'd be pissed at his own fear. I could see him actually almost tearing up in frustration at what's happening. He's never had to deal with shit like this before, he never hesitated, he never had to feel fear, hell— he didn't even have to LIVE before. He wasn't actually living during his time as "Johan Liebert". He didn't get the same agency to fully explore and navigate his own life in his own time like every other human being. He doesn't want to try. He just wants to end himself— and he can't even do that anymore. He's so frustrated, and pissed, and he's honestly just so... lost.

Buuuut! To quote Tom Hanks from "Castaway":

I was gonna die there, totally alone. I was gonna get sick, or get injured or something. The only choice I had, the only thing I could control was when, and how, and where it was going to happen. So... I made a rope and I went up to the summit, to hang myself. I had to test it, you know? Of course. You know me. And the weight of the log, snapped the limb of the tree, so I-I - , I couldn't even kill myself the way I wanted to. I had power over *nothing*. And that's when this feeling came over me like a warm blanket. I knew, somehow, that I had to stay alive. Somehow. I had to keep breathing. Even though there was no reason to hope. And all my logic said that I would never see this place again. So that's what I did. I stayed alive. I kept breathing. And one day my logic was proven all wrong because the tide came in, and gave me a sail."

He'd then sigh softly and shake his head...maybe let out a small sardonic laugh. Ah, how fate really does love to mess with him. Some higher being out there is really taking the piss with him, wasn't it? Because maybe.... just maybe. He kind of realises that Dr. Tenma and Nina were right.

I think this is the point where he'd kinda like.... cancel out nihilism WITH nihilism.

" I found everything pointless... until I realised even that was pointless" kinda vibe

Hope this satisfied your question anon! My thoughts are not organized here so pardon :)! Also please excuse if my tone in the more serious parts sounds a bit too light.

Thank you for reading and and asking me anon! ˘ ³ ˘ mwuah!!

[ghostwritesthings]

The Strength of A Mothers Love

Summary: Your daughter is taken by fireflies who have one goal in mind, you aren’t letting them. No matter what it takes, as you’re there you run into some other people.

Warnings// canon violence, guns, mentions of blood, knife, implied past trauma??, readers age isn’t mentioned but she’s able to have children, only readers daughter has a specified age which is 3 years old , reader isn’t described but daughter has red hair, readers last name is Woods but first name isn’t specified just Y/N.

I believe that’s all but let me know if I missed anything:)

“You aren’t taking her, you won’t ruin her life like you did mine.”

“Don’t you understand this could change the world.”

———————————————————————————

You feel like an outsider looking in when in reality it’s you doing this. You have one goal in mind, save her. You walk through the halls emotionless, disconnected as you gun down everyone that comes along until you switch to your knife, and pick up guns along the way. You have blood splattered on you but you don’t even recognize it’s theirs. You make it to the operating room and silently look through the glass window, what you find isn’t what you were expecting.

“Unhook them.”

Doctor Andersen looks up at me, “Woods.. How’d you get here.”

“1 said unhook them NOW”

“I can’t let you do tha-“

A single gunshot as the nurses scream but I don’t care, all I see is them.

“Unhook the girls, you on the left go to her. You on the right unhook the teenager and I’ll let y’all go.” I sound calmer than I feel. I glance at the man who’s staring at me as if I’m from his imagination and not actually here.

“Cover their arms and step away facing that wall.” They soon do as asked and before they can let out a scream I’ve shot them both, I feel nothing for them. I walk to the man, I put my gun in my waistband and raise my hands slowly,

“I’m not gonna hurt you, I’m gonna cut your ties and if you don’t hurt me I won’t hurt you got it?”

He simply nods almost unnoticeable but I see it. I kneel and that’s when I notice what he looks at, my bicep. The mark that has haunted me every night since it happened, when the infected took everything from me and left me to survive it alone. I say nothing as I untie him he deserves to see his girl too. We exchange a look as he gets up that says everything it needs to ,a silent thank you for helping me when you didn’t have to.

I walk to the table on the left, my little girl looking so peaceful, unaware of all the violence I committed to protect her.

“Maxine” I say so breathlessly, barely a whisper slipping past my lips. I scoop her up one arm supporting her head where her beautiful red hair falls just a bit in her face, the other underneath her legs to cradle her as I turn to leave. What I don’t see is the man, whose name I still don’t even know, doing the exact same to his girl silent as he feels his relief.

I turn to look and decide to speak up first,

“Everyone in the building is gone, I don’t know where Marlene is though so watch out for her, take this gun it’s fully loaded.”

I wasn’t expecting a response but

“Names Joel, if you want you can come with us… I’ve got a car and somewhere safe you can take her. It’s the least I can do for you.”

“Let’s make it out of here first then we can talk about it.”

We both head to the door in our own little worlds holding our girls, I follow him down to the parking garage where there is in fact a running car. As we begin to walk over to the car she appears.

“You can’t keep them safe forever…”

I begin tuning her out, looking for an out. No one else is arou-

“Y/N, you really think you can protect Maxine for the rest of her life? What happens when you can’t get to her in time..what happens when raiders get a hold on her they don’t hold back because she’s a kid. What happens when she goes through what you did with your mother, who will care for her then?”

Marlene’s gun is pointed straight into the center of my chest, I know she would never pull the trigger, she’s known me since I was a child, knew my mother, she could never kill me.

“I am her mother, I will protect her until the day I fucking die and this isn’t your choice, she’s three fucking years old. You ruined my life the day you found out about my immunity, you never cared for what my mother would’ve wanted for me and I know my mom would’ve done the same for me in this moment. You don’t get to try to turn this shit on me because you want to look for a cure that doesn’t exist.”

She goes to speak again but within seconds my gun has gone off and she’s fallen to the ground. I don’t register it at first, almost like second nature at this point. Joel and I walk towards the car as he sets the teenager into the passenger seat as I put Maxine in the passenger seat to hold her. Marlene lets out a grunt and as Maxine is now set safely in the passenger seat I walk towards her. Joel right behind me following,

“Y/N please don’t..”

“I know you will just come after them and that’s not a chance I’m willing to take.”

She attempts one more plea but my gun goes off to put one last bullet through her head. Joel silently wonders to himself, why does she care so much about a girl she’s never met?

As we ride off in the car all I can do is look down at Maxine for a while, Joel and I sitting in a comfortable quiet processing everything that happened before he speaks up.

“My names Joel that’s Ellie” he says as he checks on her through the rear view mirror.

“I’m Y/N, this is my daughter Maxine.”

“What did Marlene want with your daughter if you don’t mind me askin’”

“I’m immune and she’s my biological daughter, they wanted to open her up and see if my immunity could transfer to my children and since she was born they’ve been after me. I’ve been running for years but they managed to catch up to me and take her.”

He tells me about Ellie and how they met and Marlene tasked him to get her there without telling him how it would happen.

“My brothers got a place in Wyoming, I can get you there and into a home with Maxine. Got runnin water, electricity and plenty of food, you can raise her up without worrying about anything again. It’s completely safe and it’s the least I can do for you for saving me n her.”

Looking over at him for a moment in silence I mull it over a bit. Doesn’t seem bad and he seems honest, raising Max somewhere I can guarantee her safety is the only thing I’ve wanted since the day she was born, I couldn’t protect everyone else but I can protect her.

“I’d like that, you don’t owe me anything that girl is a child, she can’t make a decision like that without knowing everything.”

As we drive I feel that maybe everything will be ok again, I feel a bond forming with the stranger I met in an operating room who’s daughter I saved and maybe this new chapter will be good for Maxine and I.

———————————————————————————

Authors note// here’s a really bad fic lol I tried my best I’m still learning so don’t be too hard please? Let me know if anyone wants me to write something for them:)

[melonteee]

I think what hurts the most about how Nami was handled in OPLA is how thoroughly her character themes and trajectory were screwed up. Nami is one of the first representatives we see fake smiles hiding genuine suffering as an overarching motif, to the point that it’s engrained deeply to her backstory and the final note Arlong Park ends on, and it just… isn’t there. At all. To the point that the one time Nami smiling/laughing *is* brought up in the show, it feels backhanded. Like the narrative equivalent of telling her she should really smile more. Then, because Netflix/Tomorrow Studios are cowards, the show did everything in its power to downplay Nami’s financial insecurities and decided Nami stealing should be framed in a worse light than Zoro killing people for money. Which meant Nami’s arc became her needing to overcome a “fuck you, got mine” attitude, which led to Arlong Park being thematically (and somewhat narratively) incoherent once they got to her deal with Arlong. But the worst of this was the choice to give Nami all of Sanji’s parts in Baratie. Because, really, what does Nami thinking Luffy should stop Zoro’s fight have to do with her problems with Arlong? The whole reason she didn’t see Zoro’s fight in the original was because that wasn’t a lesson she needed to learn. She was already risking her life for her goals, and she still believed she could achieve her dreams once she paid off Arlong. It was the hope that Arlong *could* be bought, and that she had no other options when compared to Arlong’s strength, that was holding her back in the original. Nami trying to convince Luffy also felt so nonsensical because it’s the one place that doesn’t have heaps of over explaining (while also removing Luffy *and* Zoro’s explanations from the original scenes) so it’s like… what do you expect him to do, Nami? What could Luffy possibly say or do to stop Zoro that doesn’t either lead to Zoro responding “okay then I quit” or require some massive violation of Zoro’s autonomy? And, again, what does Luffy not doing so have to do with Nami’s conflict with Arlong??? Is the implication supposed to be that Nami thinks Arlong is *right* to use force to make people do what he wants???? But then you get to the episode 6 and Zoro’s second unnecessary pledge to Luffy (that’s already ruined Thriller Bark) and it was like… Oh. I see. Nami was given all of Sanji’s parts so she could be an easy straw man for Luffy to knock down. She *can’t* explain why she thinks Luffy is wrong (nor can anyone else) outside of vague repeated phrases, because if she did Luffy would have to actually defend his stance the way he did in the original. Instead of having Zoro tell him that he was right all along and doesn’t need to self-reflect about anything. Because Luffy’s true arc in the live action is that he Wants loyalty, and Needs other people’s validation. Hence why Luffy spends very little time actually interacting with his supposed crew most episodes, why storylines that were originally about Luffy proving himself worthy are now reframed to be about the others proving their loyalty to Luffy, and why the show’s ending reframes his first bounty as him *finally* achieving the recognition he felt entitled to at the beginning. And Nami’s sadly the one most effected because the East Blue is her saga. Cool.

(I realize you must get a lot of these, so thank you. It’s been very cathartic to hear your thoughts)

Anon you are doing exactly what I'm doing, which is thinking further ahead in One Piece's story and going "Wait, but if THAT happens, these scenes in future arcs are going to be totally ruined and make no sense?"

Hence why I'm saying, ALL these changes, ALL these characters being uprooted from their original writing, is going to cause MORE changes down the line if this keeps going. To the point the series is going to be completely incomprehensible and won't be One Piece at all. They already failed multiple scenes by just ADDING them in while changing EVERYTHING around them so they made zero sense and had no impact, but it's virtually impossible to fix this show without totally redoing everything. They ruined the introductions, they ruined the original motivations and original personalities, these characters are simply not the same at all.

And with these story changes, as you pointed out, it has ruined future character development AND future scenes.

Also the "Nami stealing is more immoral than Zoro killing for money" is so fucking funny, makes just as much sense as a WHOLE town genuinely hating a LITTLE GIRL 😭😭

[traegorn]

Seriously why do you entertain zionist perspectives? Why dont you treat them like terfs like they should be?

Okay, I suspected there was a second one of you since the grammar got better -- but maybe I'm wrong, blocked the wrong person, and you're just one person.

Don't care.

This is what my inbox has looked like. This is the constant barrage of asks I've been getting, and this is just a sample. There's more. I'll put it under the cut because shit is going to get LONG.

And if we recall, all I have ever said was: Lilith is a figure from Jewish folklore, and as many Jewish people have said she is closed, non-Jewish witches probably shouldn't work with her. If you choose to, I think you're being an asshole.

Somehow... SOMEHOW that makes me antisemitic according to this weirdo? And now apparently it makes me a supporter of the Israeli government? I genuinely don't know how we got here.

I've redacted the names of folks who are supposedly "Zionists" in the messages, because I've literally found zero evidence on any of their blogs to support this. They all appear to be Jewish, but that isn't the same fucking thing.

Mind you, I shouldn't have to look because I hadn't even heard of most of them. One of them interacted with a post of mine, but... like... you get that I have thousands of followers, right? I don't research them. I don't look them up. I have a job and a life.

I think we're missing something more important though.

What is your goal here? Is your goal to try to change my mind? Is it to get me to agree with you? Because you'd have to be as dumb as a pile of broken doorknobs to think this was an effective strategy to change anyone's mind. Constant harassment does not ever achieve that.

If your goal is to just bully me off of social media, that isn't going to work either. You don't know me that well if you ever thought that would work. Even a surface googling of me would tell you that I spent seven years fighting a lawsuit (and winning) that someone tried to use to silence me online.

But then there's the stuff I don't talk about.

I have had a man who lives thirty minutes away from me threaten to come to my home and shoot me with a shotgun because I wrote an article exposing his brother as a convicted child molester working conventions. I have had a man who literally lives three blocks from me threaten to beat me to death in a nearby park I regularly walk through because he (erroneously) thought I stole a blue lives matter flag from a local restaurant.

You want to sell me on any of this? You want me to believe you're anything but a liar willing to say whatever they can think of to insult me? Bring receipts. Bring evidence. Bring proof. You want to accuse [random tumblr user] of something? Show me. Show me what they've done and/or said. Build an argument.

Because at no point has anyone done that. At no point has anyone built an actual, credible argument for any of this bullshit. All that seems to happen is that if someone doesn't agree with you, you call them antisemitic (or I guess now a Zionist).

I'm done with you, coward.

[beating-a-dead-plot]

Please Read If You Live In The USA

Hi! My name isn't actually Petunia, it's just a nickname, and I used it so I could maintain some level of anonymity on here and protect myself from shame and awkwardness. That is no longer an option to me.

I live in New York state, not the big city, a different region. If you are female, non-binary, or transgender and over the age of 18, living in a state that isn't so fun as mine, maybe you could come visit me? Maybe you finally decided that your random internet bestie should be your real life bestie and you just have to meet each other! After all, good friends are so hard to find these days! I live with family currently, so you would have to find a place to stay for your visit, but I would just love to finally get to meet you!

I mean, we could check out Niagara Falls, it's basically in my backyard, or we could take a little food tour of Western New York! If money is going to be tight, maybe it'll be on me if I'm in a decent spot with money, but if we're just two broke idiots, well, public parks are always a great option to hang out in, or we could hole up in your staying place and have some fun talking about all our favorite fandoms and characters! Also, we could take a little day trip to Canada, border's right there and and as long as you've got your documents and behave going through customs, it's fun! The butterfly conservatory is amazing, I bet you'd really love it! Think about how fun it could be to just have a little get-away with your internet bestie?

I don't care about my own embarrassment anymore, I will take being embarrassed for being a freak over not being at least offering to help people who need it right now. I'm nobody, I have like four mutuals and only one talks to me consistently (Which is my fault, NOT theirs, not playing the blame game here, not even close), but if someone needs a justifiable excuse to hang out in NY for a bit, send me a private message.

I don't care if we're mutuals or not, I don't care if you're even in the Star Wars fandom, I'll read up on something if you need me to. I can help with finding activities and resources in my area, I will gladly scope out the best hotels/motels/rentals in my area if you need me to.

Even if no one sees this post or takes me up on this, I just want to know, I tried. I tried to do something to keep people from being hurt when they shouldn't have to be. I'm currently a part-time college student and looking into getting applications in for jobs, but if you need help, if you need someone to be on your side when your own family isn't, come to me.

At this point, if you voted for the person hurting us? Still message me if you need help. I loathe your choice but I am not going to let you be hurt or worse because of it. Don't get me wrong, I am furious with those who voted him in, but if I let you suffer because of him, I would be no better than the hateful bigots on the other side from me.

And if immigration is what your goal is, I will gladly try to help you with Canadian immigration or coming to NY to explore your options. I will not help you cross with the intent to do so illegally, but a day-trip to check out Ontario? I will do it. I will not help with anything outright illegal, but if you need help and are willing to be close enough to legal not to get me arrested, I'm here.

There's this thing I saw people saying on social media "I could hate her more than anything in the world, and I still wouldn't leave her alone with that weird man at the party." You are now all in that first category, I don't care if you're a Trekie (I had to add humor, I'm losing it), you will never catch me leaving you alone at this party unless I am truly unable to, which would be if I'm arrested and/or dead.

Reach out if you need someone, there's none of you who should be left to the wolves now. <3

I am AFAB, cis-gender as far as everyone knows, I will now be referring to myself as straight but I used to go by bisexual as a label, and 23 years old. For more details, DM me and we can see what we need to do.

[fancyfeathers]

you talk about how speechless william's darling is all the time, but what would happen if she actually snaps one day? like, actually not backing down and having a voice? also i love moran's darling

(Combining these two asks because I got an idea for it @istgtumlrifyoudothisonemoretime )

The Games We Play of Dust and Ash (Yandere Moriarty the Patriot Masterlist)

I imagine it would happen after her second meeting with Sherlock’s darling, an intelligent and self made woman who doesn’t feel intimidated by others around her. Honestly for a while she lays in bed wondering what the hell was wrong with her, she has let people walk all over her for her entire life, she felt pathetic.

Then eventually Moran’s darling came around and she was something else as well and of course it turned out she was a friend, an information broker, to Sherlock’s darling, the reporter. She was never scared of her situation, hell she even clawed at Sebastian one time, almost got his eye to.

Meanwhile she is scared to ask William is she can sit in the garden.

Then eventually she gets a letter from Sherlock’s darling, asking her if she would like to meet her at a park in a few days. Luckily she was the first to read it because it was hidden in the stack of other mail for the brothers and residents of the estate. She hid the letter between the mattress and the bed frame just in case and for the entire day she is just trying to build up the confidence to ask William when he gets home.

And then after dinner when William is working in his study, she comes in and…

“W-William, I was w-wondering if I could go out to the park later this week to meet with a friend of mine?”

“A friend? Which one?”

Though unintentional, that felt like a slight stab since she had no friends who were still alive anyway, and the thing is William didn’t even kill them.

“Um… the reporter-“

“Absolutely not, now if there is anything else you need-“

“Why not?”

The silence that filled the room after she asked that was louder than anything, she had never questioned William like that before, normally taking no for an answer.

“You should get ready for bed it’s-“

“Would you stop talking to me like I am a child and just tell me why?”

God she never realized how much she hated that look in her eyes, the way they would narrow at her whenever she said something he did not like, like he always knew better than her.

“Dear we can have this conversation in the morning, you are tired and need sleep and I have work to finish-“

“Would you shut just up and answer the question?!”

She yelled at him…

She just yelled at William.

William would never hurt her, he is able to regulate his temper unlike Albert and Louis on occasion, god she remembers the crying from Albert’s darling when he accidentally broke her wrist.

She watched as William stood up from his desk and walked over to her, towering over her as he ever so gently took her hands in his own and he lifted them up to his lips, kissing her hands where they met in his hold.

“Everything I do is for you, and she is trying to stop my goal. I am attempting to create a better world so you will not have to go back to the one you lived in the one where you were turned away by everyone-“

“William.”

“Your mother-“

“Liam.”

“Your friends-”

“Please.”

“I will never abandon you like they have. I was there when your friend died, I held you when you cried, when you had nightmares about what happened and woke up screaming and crying in the night I was the one who was there. I was there because I love and adore you more than anyone else in this god forsaken world and I am not going to let anyone change that… oh dearest, you are crying, come here.”

She felt him embrace her as she just realizes she was behind to cry, a sob ripping from her throat as he holds her.

“…I am sorry, Liam.”

“I know, dear.”

William never has to worry about her falling too far out of line because he knows the exact thing to bring her back to her senses.

She needs him, he has always been there…

Besides she does not have the heart that the others have to truly push back against him…

But Moran’s darling was growing to be some what of a bad influence on her, Louis’ darling as well…

Maybe he should speak to them about that.

[agirlwithdemonblood]

Broken Fan - Chapter 3

Pairings: Jensen Ackles & Reader (Read as first person!)

Series Summary: Always a nobody, always invisible, will this convention change things?

Chapter Summary: A mix of emotions, mixed signals, what is a girl supposed to think?

Warnings: Anxiety, swearing, alcohol consumption, placement is in a bar for part of this story, slight panic.

Series Masterlist here! Main masterlist here!

Loud voices poured into the streets slowly and then all at once, and suddenly I was no longer alone.

I stood from my spot against the wall, and took in all the people flooding the entrance of the hotel once again. Casual conversations were being held about their favorite parts of the convention, how attractive the men were, and how excited for the signings everybody was.

That was one part of the convention I was most nervous about, actually meeting him. Especially after the way he stared at me, would he even recognize me? Would he judge me for freaking out and leaving?

Part of me didn't even want to go to the signing tomorrow, I wanted to get in my car and head back to my hometown, never look back. But I knew I couldn't do that. I spent almost all of my money for this chance, this moment to feel like a part of civilization, so that when I had to go back to my normal-shitty life, at least I could hold onto these moments to get me through the dark nights.

That's why I came here, this is what I wanted and needed to do, and I was determined to get over myself and meet the man who saved my life.

I was being dramatic earlier, so what if he stared at me? It didn't mean anything, he was just connecting with his fans, but why did it end up being me? Why did I have to overthink the way his eyes bored into mine. Why do I keep having flashbacks of that gorgeous smile that was spread across his face?

And fuck sakes, WHY did I feel a connection when there clearly wasn't one. He was famous, I was a nobody. It was stupid and I hated my mind.

I was going to forget it even happened, that was my goal.

Night finally approached and the streets got quiet, everybody went back to their hotel rooms to get some sleep for tomorrow.

I spent the day trying to relax myself as I put on some Supernatural episodes, but it felt different now. Watching Dean on the screen felt wrong, nearly uncomfortable because I felt like I no longer knew Dean. I felt like I knew Jensen.

I sighed and shut my phone down as the sky got even darker. I couldn't sit in my car any longer so I decided to go for a walk, even though I had no idea where I was.

There were a few stores down this street, but a majority of them were already closed for the night, but hope filled me when I spotted the bar at the end of the block.

Quickly checking my wallet, I smiled contentedly when I noticed I had enough for a quick drink, even though I barely drank as is. I wasn’t really a heavy drinker, I’ve been to block parties or went to bars for some fun, but I didn’t enjoy drinking too much. After todays events, I needed just enough to calm my nerves.

The parking lot was nearly empty, except for a few cars, which made me sigh in relief. Less people the better. It was a small place, sort of secluded and quiet.

I walked in and looked around, spotting only a few others inside at tables and sitting at the bar. With such a weird name like the "The Thirsty Horse", this place was actually quite cute. There were pool tables and a jukebox, and a dart board. It was nice and calming, exactly where I needed to be.

I grabbed my drink and sat at a corner booth, sipping slowly while looking around at my surroundings. I couldn't help but smile at the scattered people either on a date or chatting with their buddies, it sort of made me feel less alone to see them interacting.

Halfway through my drink, the bell to the door rang and two men in hoodies entered, heading straight for the bar. The taller man scanned the room while the shorter one talked to the bartender who simply nodded, and then went to lock the bar door.

Confusion and anxiety seeped in as I watched them act sketchy, until the door was locked and blinds were pulled down. The tall man took his sweater and glasses off first, and my jaw nearly dropped when I recognized the mystery figure.

Jared Padalecki.

My heart nearly stopped beating. If that was Jared, that could only mean....

The second man took off his sweater and my thought was confirmed. There he was, Jensen Ackles. They were here, in the same bar, only a few feet away, and directly by the door so I couldn't leave.

Fuck.

Jensen scanned the room in a way that made my heart beat faster. It was almost as if he sensed somebody here, like he was looking for somebody he knew.

I pushed my head in my drink and stayed low, crossing my fingers that he wouldn't notice, not after today, not with how I looked now. Thankfully, they didn't seem to recognize or even see me as they walked to the pool table and started chatting away like normal people, but I couldn't help but slightly watch the interaction. They looked so... normal. So regular.

Occasionally Jensen's eyes would scan the room once again, and every time I'd lower myself until it was nearly impossible to see him. I avoided watching them and quickly finished my drink before slowly sitting up, trying to spot the boys.

Jared was leaning against the bar chatting to the bartender and Jensen was nowhere to be found. I breathed easy when I realized he was probably in the bathroom, now was my chance. I got out of my seat and kept my head down, nodding at the bartender to lock the door after I left, and I rushed out.

My eyes stayed on the figures behind me, trying to make sure that Jensen didn't exit and see me, but he wasn't there. Thank god.

As soon as I turned to step out the door, my body ran into a firm figure in front of me, and I fell to the ground tangled with the poor victim of my clumsiness.

Embarrassment and anxiety was filling me as I started to untangle myself. "Shit! I am so sorry I wasn't paying attention."

"No problem at all." The famiar voice spoke, causing my heart to skip a beat. I knew that voice. Hesitantly, my eyes flickered up spotting the very man I was trying to avoid. Jensen.

He smiled softly as he stood from his spot, reaching his hand out to help me stand back up. With a shaky hand, I grabbed his and stood from my spot mere inches from him. His eyes were locked on mine once again, and I could barely breathe.

With all the strength I had, I ripped my gaze from his and stared down at the ground. "Uh, Seriously though I am really sorry."

He chuckled lightly as he dusted the dirt off his jeans, "Seriously though, it's totally fine."

I nodded and walked around him, swallowing hard with every step I took away from him. My entire body was buzzing and I felt like I could probably throw up at any moment, he must really think much about me now.

"Wait." He spoke, and I stopped dead in my tracks. Turning slowly, I tried to best to hide the look of anxiety that was probably stretched all across my face, and simply nodded for him to go on.

He stepped closer, "Your the girl from the convention right? Middle row?"

Oh god, he did remember me. What do I do? Shit, speak dummy, speak!

"Um, yeah that was me."

His smile widened and his hands moved into his pockets, a slight blush appearing on his cheeks as he stared back. "I thought I recognized you."

I giggled nervously and nodded, "Yup..."

Before my thoughts could run wild, he looked back to the bar and than to me, "Did you want to come in for a drink with me and Jared?"

Wait, what? Did I hear that right? I'm dreaming... Right?

He laughed at my shocked expression and held his hands up in surrender, "I'm sorry if that was uncomfortable, don't feel inclined to say yes, I just figured..."

He stopped for a second and I laughed lightly, "You just figured there was a fan who was meeting the people she always wanted to, and you felt inclined to do something nice, like a wish for a cancer kid or that sort of thing."

His smile dropped and I mentally kicked myself, nice way of wording it.

I shook my head frantically and stepped closer, "God, that was so rude I'm sorry."

"It's all good." He laughed out, "I was actually going to say that I figured if you didn't like the panel, I wanted to make it up to you."

I furrowed my brows in confusion, "Why do you think I didn't like the panel?"

He shrugged, "You did leave 15 minutes in."

"Oh." I whispered. "Right."

How the hell do I explain this one?

Before I could respond, he stepped closer, arms crossing over his body. "It's okay if you don't want to, I wouldn't be offended. If you end up changing your mind and want to come join us, we would be happy to have you." With that, he smiled and walked back to the entrance, only turning back at the door to shoot me yet another bright smile.

I stood in my spot for what felt like hours contemplating my decision. I could either go inside and drink with the boys-possibly have a great experience and get to know them better, or I could go home and wait till tomorrow, possibly regretting not saying yes.

I have no idea what to do. I have no idea why he even wanted me to drink with him, was it pity? Maybe it was his ego because I left the panel early, or maybe he felt the same thing I did-No that's stupid… right?

Jensen’s POV

I couldn’t take my eyes off those damn doors.

Was she going to come in? Did I come off too strong or make her uncomfortable, yet again?

I have no idea why this is happening, why I’m acting like a 17 year old boy who’s on my first date, I don’t even know her!

But there’s something about her I can’t place ever since the first day I saw her in the crowd. She looked so… vulnerable. So innocent and kind. For the first time in a long time, I felt a connection between us. I felt it when my eyes reached hers, I felt it when she crashed into me and she apologized for her sassy remark, there was something.

Maybe I was being stupid, but I swear she is different. She didn’t fangirl or freak out when she saw me, she treated me like a regular human being. She looked at me as if we were the same, and I adored that.

I don’t know what was going on or what it was about her, but I felt the need to talk to her more. To see her again.

Did she feel it too?

After mustering up as much courage I could, the doors swung open and I stepped inside, instantly feeling Jensen's eyes on me. I smiled nervously and crossed the room until I was directly in front of him.

"Hey, so glad you decided to join us." He stated confidently.

I shrugged and bit back the kiddish smile that wanted to appear, "Yeah, thanks for inviting me."

The silence was deafening, every moment that passed only made the tension grow higher. Jensen quickly cleared his throat and turned towards Jared, who was staring like he was watching a very interesting episode of his favorite show.

"Sorry, Jared this is..." Jensen froze and turned back towards me, "You never actually told me your name."

I shook my head as I laughed and stepped closer, reaching my hand out, "I'm Y/N, it's nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too Y/N, i'm going to get us some shots, you drink?"

I nodded in response as I sat at the table, trying to ignore the way Jensen's eyes were heating up every inch of my body the more he stared. He sat beside me quickly, turning to face my direction. "So..."

"So..." I repeated quietly, causing his chest to boom with laughter, god his laugh was beautiful.

"So, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable."

I turned in confusion, "What?"

"At the panel." He stated, "I apologize if when I kept looking at you, it made you feel uneasy or uncomfortable."

I shook my head frantically as a laugh escaped my throat, "You didn't. I'm pretty sure any fan would die if the great Jensen Ackles couldn't keep his eyes off of her."

His laugh was stronger, more powerful and it send shivers down my spine. "Not you though."

I stared back and waited, noting the way his smile faltered slightly. "The great Jensen Ackles doesn't have that effect on you huh?"

My cheeks burned red and I turned away, shrugging my shoulders. "I never said it didn't.

Like a saviour, Jared returned and placed all the shots in front of us, indicating for all of us to take a shot.

"Jensen, your first for pool." He stated, before taking Jensen's spot on the bench beside me.

Jared turned towards me and smirked, "So..."

I nearly choked on my drink as laughter erupted, "Wow, you and Jensen really are brothers eh? That's exactly how he started our conversation."

Jared laugh in response and nodded, "Yeah we know practically everything about eachother, which is why I wanted to ask... What did you do or say to catch Jensen's eye so quickly?"

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion as I looked towards Jensen, and than Jared. "What?"

He shrugged and moved closer, "He never invites fans to have drinks, even when they ask. So I'm curious how you got an in."

I could suddenly feel reality slam right back into me, he was right. Who was I? Why was I here. I know Jared probably didn't mean anything with his comments, but I could suddenly feel guilty and embarrassed that it might look like I forced my way in here and that's not what I wanted to do, at all.

I took my last shot and smiled at Jared, "I'm sorry to cut this short but I actually have to head back, big day at the convetion tomorrow, thank you for letting me join and it was so good to see you again Jensen, so good to meet you Jared."

Before the boys could say anything, I rushed as fast as I could out of the bar, my heart was pounding in my ears and I couldn't breathe.

Was Jared right? Did I force my way into his life somehow or was it genuine? I was an idiot for thinking he wanted me there, right? I didn't know what to think, but I knew I felt embarrassed and ashamed, and anxious to see him tomorrow.

Jensen's POV

As soon as the bar door shut, I felt my heart pang in my chest. I don't understand, I thought we were getting somewhere, was that a stupid idea? I knew it was risky inviting a fan to have a drink with me, but she's different, what went wrong?

My gaze moved to Jared and I stepped closer, swatting his shoulder. "What did you say to her?"

He held his hands up in defense as a shocked expression appeared, "I didn't say anything, I was joking with her."

I grit my teeth and stared, "What did you say?"

He sighed and pushed the hair from his face, "I just asked her what she said or did to get an in with you considering you never ask fans to grab a drink with them."

I could feel the anger bubbling, "Your an idiot. You realize you made it seem like she conned her way into here, like I'm not the one who invited her and wanted her here."

Jared's expression faded as he realized what I was talking about, finally. "Oh. Shit, yeah I can see that now. I'm sorry dude I didn't think of it that way."

I sighed and sat beside him, finishing the shots that were laid out in front of us. Jared's hand came down on my shoulder as he brought another shot to his lips. "Seriously man, I'm sorry."

I shrugged, "It's okay. It might have been a bad idea to invite her anyways."

"Why did you." he whispered, "Just curious."

A deep sigh escaped my throat as I thought of an answer I didn't have, "I really don't know. I saw her at the convention and I just... I don't know, felt something? It's stupid, I don't even know her."

"It's not stupid." Jared started, "You can't help who you connect with, maybe she is special. I mean, you have never once invited somebody out for drinks with us unless it was a coworker or you've been dating them for a while. Also, don't think I didn't notice the way you were staring at her."

I shrugged and turned towards him, "But I don't know her."

He smiled lightly, "I don't think that matters, your heart wants what it wants, there's a reason why you felt so connected to her, you just need to figure out why."

"But, isn't this just complicated and stupid? Messing with a fan?"

Jared laughed loudly, "First of all, don't call it messing. Second, I met her for about two miniutes but I can say she did not treat you like you were a famous actor, or me for that matter, and she didn't act like a fan. That's not all she is."

I nodded, "Yeah, your right. I actually felt... human around her. Like I wasn't a celebrity or a piece of meat, she just treated me like normal. But I don't know how she feels, I may have come on too strong and blown it."

Jared shook his head, "You'll get another chance if it's fate, just let the world decide what's best for you."

Let the world decide. Pshh. I didn't really believe in fate, but after these two interactions with you, I was starting to think maybe Jared had a point, maybe it was fate.

Maybe you were made for me.

Maybe.

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Like, comment & reblog -feedback is my fuel ❤️

[kekstala]

hopping on the ask train 😻

I really adore your art style and I’m looking to improve because I’m not too fond of mine currently. How long have you been drawing and what are some tips you have to improve?

(Also how do you do your line art?? It’s always so scrumptious)

First of all, thank you so much! <3 It makes me really happy to hear that my art brings you so much joy!

I’ll continue to shower you guys with my stuff, because comments like yours make me walk the extra mile <3

 

Now to your questions!

 

„How long have you been drawing?“

 

Funnily enough, my whole life lol

Sure, that sounds pretty farfetch’d considering I’m a lv. 29 duck, but eh, I mean it.

One day I just took a pencil and started drawing, and that‘s about it.

You could say I've been improving my art since ever - I started drawing stuff that I saw on TV or in magazines as a kid - Pokemon and Digimon being two of the very first things that I used as a base to draw.

Back then, I only used to draw creatures or animals, since I practically sucked at drawing humans.

Only after I met one of my real life friends, I also started to draw humans - It‘s been approximately 13 years since then, so the process of mastering something‘s indeed quite slow.

My best advice on that topic: never give up.

Sure, there will be days where you think you may never improve, but this isn‘t the case - you just need some patience and determination to keep going.

With every picture you draw, you learn more, until you arrive at an actual point of understanding.

When you reach this certain point, drawing turns from a difficult chore to a fun ride full of wonder, where you only see the fun parts instead of the bad ones :)

 

Also fun fact: when I started drawing humans, I preferred females over males - since women are much more curvy and „easier“ to draw for beginners.

Now it‘s the exact opposite - It‘s a walk in a park for me to draw men…woman instead… oh boi

I always sweat when I draw Carmine or Juliana LOL

Kieran and Drayton on the other hand - easy xD

 

„What are some tips you have to improve?“

 

1. Like I said before: never give up.

Drawing‘s like mastering a skill - you need time to improve.

I‘m the perfect example since it took me over 25 years before I reached a point that I‘m satisfied with. And even now, I’m still improving - it‘s an endless road without a certain goal, and you have to decide for yourself whenever you want to run or walk.

 

2. Take breaks

No seriously, I mean it, your body AND your mind need some, since they can influence your perspective and decisions.

When you draw and get more and more frustated with yourself and the picutre, it's, in most cases, time for a break.

Staring at one picture for hours can narrow your perspective. Perhaps you‘re even tired because of a lack of sleep, maybe even hungry - all these factors can influence you negatively, because your body‘s at war with your mind - its quite a psychological topic, but it plays a big role when you draw.

Drawing steals a lot of time and concentration - and with this concentration being interputed by needs like hunger or sleep, your body and mind won‘t focus anymore on one thing but instead on a lot of (in that case) obstacles.

Result -> your concentration weakens, and you get frustated because you did that one pencil stroke like a dozen times already and are still looking like crap! The WHOLE picture looks like crap! You really SUCK at drawing!

In this case, just take a break.

Eat something, do other stuff, or just go to get some sleep. After a few hours away from the picture, you will be surprised that all these negative emotions and thoughts you had before are in fact gone, and the picture doesn‘t look that hideous anymore.

 

3. Repeat what you draw

This one sounds simple but makes quite the impression later on.

By repeating the same thing over and over, your brain starts to save certain important parts, and it becomes much easier later on.

My example‘s Kieran - I’ve drawn this dude like a dozen times already - at first I had to use a character sheet as a base  because my mind hadn‘t saved some certain points yet, so I had to look it up.

By looking something up, you get interrupted in your concentration and fall out of the „flow of drawing“.

It‘s the same when drawing something new. You’re not used to it yet - hence, it's, in most cases, more difficult than something you've already had some experience with.

Since I‘m already used to drawing Kieran, I don‘t need to look stuff up anymore, I just draw him and move on. (this sounds so mean, I‘m sorry Kiki D: )

 

4. Look for references

I usually do this when I take a break from drawing. Just open Twitter (or X) or Tumblr and watch other artists do their stuff.

Of course, this‘s like a double-edged sword, since it COULD influence you negatively, especially when you are just down from not finishing an art piece.

But it can also help you improve where you’ve struggled before.

Like before, the best example’s Kieran lol

Since the release of the DLC people have drawn him A LOT - which is great because there’s like a dozen references you can use for your own benefit.

And don’t assume that people just drew him in one go perfectly - they had to master the process I already described before by repeating it over and over.

How fast they have mastered the way to draw him depends on the person themselves; some people choose to run the road while others choose to walk instead.

The artwork you see may be the result of 100 pictures before that had to build the base for it to truly shine.

You only see the result but not the way there, so don’t feel dishearted and think you may never arrive at their level - everyone had to start from scratch after all. :)

 

5. Draw stuff you enjoy

It’s the most important advice I can give - the four before depend on the person themselves, whether to follow them or not.

Every person works differently and does stuff differently - but almost everyone has one thing in common when they draw - they draw because they love what they do.

And thats the most important part: draw stuff you truly enjoy - it makes you happy, and that's what counts in the end :)

 

“How do you do your line art?”

 

To be honest, I’m far from satisfied with my way to draw linearts, but I’m happy that you guys seem to like them that much by showing interest :D

 

Applin’s here to help you understand the process a bit better <3

 

1. The rough sketch

Every artwork begins with a sketch - the sketch doesn’t need to look good or anything, just a quick reminder of what I wanted to draw in the first place.

 

2. The rough first lining

It’s the first step in the direction I want to go with the picture.

Like the sketch, it still looks very rough, but it already shapes the object or person I want to picture here.

 

3. The second lining

This one works as a bridge between “the rough first lining” and “the final lining”.

It looks like the end goal, but it needs some fine tuning or minor changes to be perfect.

 

4. The final lining

Like the title says, it's the finished linearts that show the object or person I wanted to picture in the first place.

To be honest, between Parts 3 and 4, a lot of stuff can happen, depending on whether I need to redo some part of the artwork or need some extra steps in between (like a third or fourth lining part)

 

5. Some extras

Because the lining itself looks so bland, I usually add some little details as well.

It’s more or less optional, but it makes the artwork look more lively. ( at least from my perspective, lol )

 

And that’s about it :D

 

I hope I can help you a little bit with my advice and wild rambling (I’m known for it after all kekeke)

 

Thank you so much for your ask, and have a wonderful day <3

And hopefully a lot of fun while drawing ;9

[ginnyw-potter-archive]

A recap of 2023

so this is the year I wrote. I wrote more than I have ever done and so I thought it would be nice to look back on 2023 and look a little further back as well.

I used to write fanfic, I think I started about 14 years ago. I am not a native speaker and my English definitely needed some work then. I also have so many qualms about my old writing (I apparently hadn't found out about paragraphs yet), but we all have to start writing somewhere.

I stopped writing little by little, feeling burned out and completely stopped in 2018 (for various reasons). I don't think I wrote anything at all in 2019 or very little. In 2020 I dipped my toes in again with a few oneshots.

End of 2021 is when I started writing again and finally came back to writing Harry Potter fanfic. I started out with a longfic of 70K words! It was a struggle and I think it's like a muscle that wasn't being used. A Guiding Light is the fic that got me back in and I posted it throughout 2022.

And then I started two new fics because I was inspired again. I started posting those at the end of 2022/start of 2023. Knight of Mine and Peverell's Progeny have both surpassed the word count of Guiding Light with ease. It was never my purpose to get to a certain word count, and it is not what I focus on, but going from nearly 0 words in 2020 and slowly increasing, it's amazing to see myself putting out so many words.

And as well this year I focused less on what things I think people want to read and got a little more self-indulgent and it is so rewarding. It really makes me enjoy writing it even more.

My mental health has been shit before and it really took a nose dive in 2018, but this year I finally started feeling like myself again. My anxiety has gotten so much better and in turn I have been sick way less (although I did knock it out of the park at the start of the year with about 5 weeks of various illnesses) so I feel like I can enjoy life more in general. I am not sure if my writing helped me get there or if I am writing more because I am feeling better. All in all, I think writing has been helping me get through various things and it is one of the only things I enjoy doing consistently.

I haven't kept exact track of how much I wrote in the last year but based on my AO3 statistics as they are today (26th of Dec), I think it's safe to say that 2023 has surpassed all the others before.

You can see the majority of what I wrote, 414K of a total 541K, has been posted in the last year. It's crazy to think about. A lot of people found my writing as well this year and it's been so amazing getting that feedback ...as well as crazy paternity guesses with emojis, begging me for horse smut (that is still a no-you know who you are) and bribing me to update early... they really do make my day and some of you are too funny for your own good.

Looking ahead a little, I want to see what else I can achieve in the upcoming year. I am not setting any specific goals for myself other than continuing to work on my ongoing fics and not starting too many new ones (*pushes Pirate AU back under the bed*) Buut I am curious how much writing I actually get up to and so I made myself a little tracker.

Bullet journaling is the only other hobby aside from writing that I seem to be able to do consistently. I just kind of fell out of it in the summer of 2022 and finally picked it back up again for 2024. I think when I wasn't writing, it was a good different outlet for me and I still enjoy it. It simply slipped out of my habits, especially when I moved out on my own last year and I was too focused on keeping up with chores and other stuff. Now I am a little more organised, so I do hope to keep it up. It will also force me to do something else than writing once in a while, which is probably healthy for me.

This tracker looks a little chaotic, I know, but i wanted to get everything on one page. Maybe next year I can tell you exactly how much I wrote.

And word counts are nice but I think improving is also important and I do feel like I have managed to learn a lot of things this year and I will continue to do so in the coming year. I take great inspiration from other people's writing. I always get inspired when I read an especially good fic (which often ends up with me starting a new WIP, send help) and I discover new ways to put in descriptions or how to phrase something a certain way. And talking to other fic writers on here, or discord, is also where I learn a lot. A ton of you are so talented and it is such a joy to be able to discuss things, pick your brains and get feedback. Sometimes I just learn things by reading along to someone else's discussion. Sometimes you find answers to questions you didn't know to ask!

I also want to thank my beta readers, who have read so many words this year. They are so FAST and then apologise for being slow. I cherish them so much.

If you read up to this point, thank you! If you've read a fic of mine this year, thank you as well. If you left me kudos or comments, recced me... you get a little kiss on the forehead.

If you have achievements of your own this year that you are proud of, do share them! (Reblog or send me an ask, I want to hear about it!) Let's celebrate all the work you put in!

[a-modernmajorgeneral]

Viewers turning in for the track and field events at the Summer Games in Paris next week might just do a double-take: Instead of the usual rust-colored reddish hue, the track is purple.

The new, eye-catching color will serve as the backdrop for runners competing at the Stade de France, the country’s largest stadium, located in the northern Paris suburb of Saint-Denis. The track is made by Mondo, a company based in Alba, Italy, that has made every track used at the Olympics since 1976.

The color was mainly an aesthetic choice, as purple, blue and green make up the palette for the competition venues at this year’s games. The design actually incorporates three separate colors: lavender for the track itself, darker purple for the service areas and gray for the exterior curves at each end.

Even the glue used to adhere the track to its asphalt base—2,800 pots in total—is purple, just in case any becomes visible.

“The big part of the job was to come up with a track that was different from what we had seen … to go a little bit outside the box,” says Alain Blondel, an Olympic decathlete who now serves as the sports manager for the Paris games, to Olympics.com’s Nicolas Kohlhuber.

This is the first time an Olympic track has been purple. But it’s not uncommon for athletics venues around the world to play around with color. For example, since 1986, Boise State University has famously eschewed the traditional green-colored turf for its football field, opting instead for a shocking shade of bright blue.

Color aside, the Paris track is unique for several other reasons. For one, it incorporates the shells of bivalve mollusks, like mussels and clams. Ahead of the games, track-maker Mondo began partnering with a mussel farming and fishing company called Nieddittas to give used shells a second life.

Staff at Nieddittas harvest, clean and prepare the shells—which are made primarily of calcium carbonate—so they can be ground into a powder that can be incorporated into the track material. The shells would have otherwise been headed to a landfill, so the process transforms waste into something useful. It also reduces the need for mining, which is how manufacturers usually obtain calcium carbonate.

All told, 50 percent of the Paris track comes from recycled materials, reports BBC’s Padraig Belton.

This innovative use of recycled natural materials aligns with the goals of the International Olympic Committee, which vowed to make the Summer Games in Paris the most sustainable Olympics yet. Other sustainability efforts include bike parking at many venues, more plant-based food options for spectators, 100 percent locally sourced renewable energy, a geothermal cooling system at the Olympic Village and aquatic center seats made from recycled plastic bottle caps, among many others.

The track’s design and materials may also help athletes perform their best. The Paris track has the same base as the one used at the 2020 Summer Games in Tokyo, with some minor modifications, per reporting by Reuters’ Manuel Ausloos and Vincent Daheron. At those games, athletes set three world records and 12 Olympic records—and officials expect even more records to fall next week in Paris.

“The first indications are that it will be a very, very good track,” Blondel told the Associated Press’ (AP) Jerome Pugmire in April. “If we see athletes with personal bests on the scoreboard, it means we did a good job.”

For this iteration of the track, Mondo researchers improved upon the new polymeric material first introduced in Tokyo. They also used computer algorithms to further refine the optimal shape and size of the air bubbles within the lower layer of the track, which help absorb and then rebound the energy from the runner’s foot striking the ground.

The vulcanized rubber provides good grip and resistance for Paralympic athletes who use wheelchairs and prosthetics. The track has also been specially designed to complement the latest generation of running shoes.

“For the track, we only see the aesthetics, but there is great work that goes into the underlayer,” says Alessandro Piceli, a research and development manager at Mondo, to the Guardian’s Sean Ingle.

Mondo leaders say the Paris track will be 2 percent faster than the one used in Tokyo, per the BBC. But, in 2020, runners also got a boost from hot temperatures and new shoe spike technology, per the Guardian. It remains to be seen how the track will affect athletes’ times, but its creators are confident we will see records fall in Paris.

“The athletes will find this track to be more reactive and better suited for their competition,” said Maurizio Stroppiana, vice president of Mondo’s sport division, to the AP’s Andrew Dampf and Luca Bruno in March.