#going through my notes app and cackling

[idliketobeatree]

the allusion to the cat king and esther having a thing sometime long ago, and after a messy break-up deciding to avoid each other at all costs is a bit mental. imagine getting stuck in the same small town as your bloodthirsty ex, but you're both supernatural beings, living for hundreds of years and are only really separated by a few neighbourhoods. i'd go crazy. what if you go to the market to buy milk and she's there in the corner picking up packet bird food. do you just pretend to walk into a different aisle

[marionettesgarden]

THE MANAGER DESERVES A RAISE! | saja boys x reader

SYNOPSIS. through some stroke of luck, you ended up being the manager of a demon boy band. from teaching them about phones and social media to managing their idol activities. did you sign up for more than you bargained for?

CONTENT. crackfic, fluff, lighthearted, gn!reader, one use of (y/n), ambiguous reader, mystery centric (for now), brief mention of needles and piercings, saja boys being saja boys

WORD COUNT. 922

AUTHOR'S NOTE. i've been so obsessed with this show and the songs lol i just HAD to write something (also bc i literally didn't see a single xreader fic on ao3 when i wrote this)! i also want to write more and kinda make this a compilation of minifics bc i also do have an overarching plot for this as well and theyre so fun to write!

“Abs, just sit still.”

The manchild blatantly ignores you, too focused on spinning the chair around and twisting and turning just to see how his stomach flexes in response.

Your eye twitches and you contemplate whether this plan really needed all five of them. Surely a four member boy group would do? 

A hand pats your shoulder and you glance over at Mystery furiously pointing at himself.

“You want to go first?” you ask unsurely.

“Mmh, mmh!” he responds.

Your face drops, unamused. “I know you can speak, Mystery.”

His lips pull up into a shit eating smirk as he raises a hand, twisting it so the back faced you, and. . .

. . . flips you off.

You short circuit, mouth agape before whirling around to the rest of the group who were busily tapping away at their phone (you don’t want to remember how many tears were shed and how many lives–phones–were lost just trying to teach them).

“Which one of you taught him that?!”

Tap, tap, tap.

Some chronically online, brainrot, AI generated meme blasted from Baby’s phone, giggles erupting from the couch he and Romance lounged on as they scrolled through whatever inane app they were on. Jinu wasn’t any better as he wrestled with his bird and Abs was. . . Abs.

Breathe in. Count to five. Breathe out.

You turned back to Mystery, gesturing to the set of chairs–spinnable, of course, Gwi-Ma was paying for it after all–as you pulled a cart over. 

As he sat down, content from showing you just how much of human culture he was learning about, you tugged his chair closer to yours as you plucked up a hollow needle with a gloved hand.

“I hope you know that I’m not letting that slide.” You smile cheerfully, the needle glinting threateningly in your grasp. He nervously gulps and you could feel his gaze fix on the instrument. You laugh, shaking your head. “Oh, no, I’m not going to do anything to you right now. But I hope this haunts you every day, even in your dreams, that I could be enacting some plan to get back at you. You won’t know when, you won’t know where, it might be in the bathhouse, or it might not. But know that I will be getting my revenge.”

Mystery’s lips grew still. Behind his bangs, his eyes furiously darted around, to his members, the needle, you, the chairs–wow, they were really nice chairs–then to your face. Oh, nevermind, you were still looking scary. He instead focuses on his bandmates, the people he’s suffered with, bled with, for one last glance at something that would calm his distressed heart before he died in the very near future. 

The sound of random and, quite frankly, unfunny videos blasting from the couch as Baby and Romance cackled, several clicks and flashes of light as Abs took photos of his abs, and Jinu cursing as his bird pecked him again for daring to touch his hat were the last things he witnessed before he closed his eyes. 

Mentally sending two giant middle fingers to each and every one of his members, he shed a silent tear as he began planning his funeral. Hydrangeas, he wanted hydrangeas at his funeral.

“. . . aaand there! All done. How d’ya like your new piercings?” You handed him a mirror and discarded your gloves, eyeing the other boys for your next target.

“It’s nice.” he answered, tilting and turning his head to observe the new jewelry dangling about.

“And?” you pressed.

“And what?”

You let out a sigh, shaking your head as you waved a dismissive hand despite the pang of disappointment welling in your chest. They were demons and soon-to-be idols on top of that, you really didn’t know what you were expecting. You just had to see this plan through, help Jinu manage the team, and, once they defeated Huntrix, you’d be free. Forming any relationship with them outside of ‘convenient helper’ was unnecessary, no matter how desperately you missed inane conversations, inside jokes, and late nights spent trying whatever oddly flavored ramen all of you found.

“Hey, I’m next, right?” 

You blinked, pushing those thoughts back as Romance plopped down on the chair in front of you. A little confused, you glanced over to the couch to see Mystery sitting by Baby now.

Did he. . . ?

No, Mystery was definitely not being nice. It was just a coincidence. He wasn’t being nice and just shooed Romance over so that he could lounge on the couch that they all had an odd obsession with. 

“Yup. Here’re the piercings I have. Since you all heal so fast, you can get pierced with the prettier ones.” you explained, tugging the cart closer as you handed him a mirror.

He flicked his hair, an annoying action he’s picked up from all the idol videos you’ve been showing them, and casually leaned back in the chair. “Obviously, the fans would eat up anything I wore. Just pick whichever you like, cutie.”

You swore you could hear Mystery laughing to himself as you held back a barely restrained scream of frustration. Yeah, definitely not just being nice.

Your phone buzzed beside you as you laid in bed, tucked in and just about to go to sleep.

Mystery

Your good sat You’re good at piercing They look nice That you Thank you

(y/n)

no problem!! ur welcome :)

Suddenly, simple conversations don’t seem all that impossible anymore. Smiling to yourself, you fall asleep with your phone clutched tight to your chest and pleasant dreams of a life you had given up.

divider by @huraxy

[ofstarsandvibranium]

Bot Besties

Fandom: Marvel (Actor AU)

Pairing: Joaquin Torres x F!Reader

Summary: Because he’ll be away for months to shoot a movie, Joaquin gets enabots for you and himself as a way to keep contact with each other through the distance.

A/N: I wanted to write another fic where Joaquin uses the enabot but slightly different lol

Joaquin Torres Masterlist

"I can't believe you!" you exclaim with a cackle as Joaquin reveals two enabots, "I was joking about getting those!"

"Well I wasn't! They're cool and we can use them when I'm away for filming!" He hands you your bot for you to unbox.

Together you both set your respective bots up with the app. The round bots zoom around your shared apartment while you and Joaquin both giggle like kids.

"This is so sick!" He exclaims, looking at his phone to see the view his bot has, "Hm. We need to clean under the couch more." He says spotting the dust and a few loose socks and cat toys.

Speaking of cat, your cat Luna watches from her cat tree. Her curious eyes follow the bots around.

"These are supposed to be used to watch your pets, so not only can I bother you, but also my little Lulu!"

Hearing her nickname, Luna jumps down from her cat tree, approaching Joaquin, however, she jumps when your enabot moves towards her.

"Aaaww Lulu! Did mommy scare you?" Joaquin gets off the couch and scoops the white cat into his arms, "This is why you love me more, huh?" he kisses her head and you roll your eyes.

"Two things: one, I didn't mean to scare her. Two, she's a literal traitor because she's my cat and yet she loves you more!"

"Can't help that we have a special bond, mamas," he kisses Luna's head and she rubs her head against his chin.

You can't be mad though, because you love how cute the two of them are together.

____________________

You're reading a book on the couch in the living room when you hear the sound of wheels against the wooden floors.

"Whatcha readin'?" you hear Joaquin's voice through the enabot.

You place your book on your lap and look down, "Apprentice to the Villain."

You show him the front of the book and he rolls a little closer to get a better look, "Didn't you start the first one like two days ago?"

You nod, "I finished it that same day and then immediately bought this second one."

He whistles, "Damn, babe. You read fast."

You shrug, "When it's something that really piques my interest, then yeah. Anyway, you just finish filming?"

"Yeah. We're on lunch right now, but I'm taking lunch in my trailer."

"What'd catering have today?"

"Taco truck for Taco Tuesday! Fucking delicious, baby. Wish you could try them."

You chuckle, "I'll take your word for it," you kick off the blanket you were snuggled in and begin to walk away.

In his little bot form, Joaquin follows you, "Where ya going?"

"To the bathroom. Don't follow me!"

"Why?!"

"It's weird!"

"No, it's not!"

"Go bother, Luna. I'll be quick!" you shut the door behind you and you hear a faint, "LULU, BABY! WHERE ARE YOOOUUU?!"

__________________________

While away for filming, Joaquin stayed at an AirBnB for the next few months. He also took your enabot with him so you can "keep and eye on him" while he's away.

You don't use yours as much as he does, but you still check in with him via enabot every other week or so.

"Pst, baby. Psssstttt...baby."

Joaquin smiles to himself as he turns around from the desk he's sat at, "Hi, mamas. Need something?"

"I'm boooooored. I finished all my work today, so I wanted to check in." Your little round bot rolls towards him and tilts up, "So whatcha doin'?"

"Just looking over the notes on my script," he lifts up the packet of paper.

"Booooring! Take a break."

He chuckles, "Mamas, I just took a break."

"Okay but you didn't take a break with me!" you roll the bot to his foot. You continuously bumping into his foot, "Take a break. Take a break. Take a breeeaaak!"

He laughs again, "Alright, alright." He stands from his desk and moves to the floor. You roll around him, "Weeeeeeee!!"

"Is this what it feels like when I bother you?"

You stop and move your bot up and down to simulate nodding, "Yes."

"You're so cute, baby," he boops the bot.

"Wait," you roll a little closer, "You cut your hair?!"

Joaquin's eyes widen, "Shit. I forgot to tell you! They wanted to cut my hair a bit for the role." He shakes his head to show its length, "How's it look?"

"Hm...," you roll back to look from a distance and roll closer again, "I mean...regardless, you're hot."

Joaquin throws his head back in laughter, "Thanks, baby. Love the honestly."

"What? Did you want me to say like 'no, I hate it. You look ugly.' Because I would be lying! You look hot no matter what and it's unfair!"

"You're so funny, babe."

You sigh, "Okay. I'll leave you to your work now."

"Alright. I'll call you later. Love you."

"I love you toooooooo!" you elongate the word as you roll back to the dock, leaving Joaquin chuckling as he goes back to work.

[rainbowchibbit]

I’m so glad I can post a new and better post about language learning software after Duolingo did all that fuck shit with AI and firing a bunch of their staff. (I dropped them so fast—but that widget post I made is still getting notes and I cringe now)

Anyway. I recently downloaded Busuu as an alternative and I’m going back through all the lessons from the beginning even tho it lets you competency test placement. ANYWAY so in the kana and

Guys I’m ceyingkfns still about this i adore this sm.

I am fucking LAUGHINGIDHSJDNGKD LMAOOO

So when they go over the kana they tell you like

“Hey this resembles this” to help you remember

They’re like “ha” (は) looks like a person hiking/holding a stick and then give this image as an example:

And im like yea cool i get it.

Then we get to “ho” which is ほ which looks just like ha with an extra line on top right?

And it’s like. “It’s someone hiking/holding a stick but WITH A HAT” and I was like lmao ok

And then it shows me this:

THE SCREAM I MADE OUT LOUD. IM STILL CACKLING ABOUT IT IM TELLINF ALL MY FRIENDS ITS SO FUNNY 🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂KDHDKGJFJDKSKNF HELP HELP HELP I HAVE FALLEN IN LOVE WITH THIS APP AS OF THIS MOMENT CRHINGJDHSKG

[thepersonnamedsam]

heyy🤍

I was wondering if u could kindly write a little something about period cuddles and comfort with lando, thank you in advanceee

pairing: lando norris x fem!reader

summary: headcanons about period cuddles with lando

warnings: period pains, blood

note: i am so sorry it took me sooooo long to write your request!!! pls accept my apology, please!!!!

masterlist / taglist

it had started again, your period

what it meant for you was; pain, pain and more pain, it was unbearable

800mg of ibuprofen every 6 hours, warmth and curled up either in bed or on the couch was usually the solution for the week

when lando wasn’t around

if lando was there (which usually wasn’t the case), you cuddled - always

„baby, please let me help you, i can’t stand to see you in pain“

you smiled through your pain and just told him to go and buy your favourite snack

he called carlos - he for sure has some womanly advice for the youngster

c: „why did you not cuddle with her, cabrón?“

l: „she didn’t offer it, i didn’t want to overstep“

as he returned home with more than half the store, he slowly approached you

„baby? are you sleeping? do you want cuddles?“

you whined and nodded your head

„c‘mere baby“

his arms snaked around your abdomen, his warm hands rested on your lower belly, massaging lightly, trying to ease your pain

„does it feel good? am i doing something wrong?“

you told him he did everything right, which he let out a sigh

his body warmth made you feel sleepy

„just go to sleep, baby, i’ll be here when you wake up, promise“

his steady breath and light massaging let you fall asleep easily

your breath slowed and your eyes closed, lando knew you were finally asleep

he didn’t want to get up, but your hot water bottle had started to get cold

so he got up as slowly and as silently as he good, without waking you up

the hot water bottle was taken out of your grip and lando started to boil water in the kettle

he also tried to make you some sort of dessert, but he failed miserably

he put the now freshly hot water bottle in your grip again and turned on the tv

when you woke up, your favourite series was paused on the screen and lando was just scrolling through instagram

„good morning baby, how was your sleep, you in any pain?“

you nodded and he handed you a cold glass of water and the next batch of ibuprofen

„has it been 6 hours already“, you has asked him

„yeah, i got this period app where it lets you document your medication. now i always know when your next periods gonna be“

you were surprised about his engagement

actually you weren’t, he’s your boyfriend and a bloody good one at that

but it’s still lando

„press play already!“, you demanded

„alright“, he laughed and pressed play on the remote

he lightly started to caress your neck with soft kisses

a kiss there

a kiss here

it felt so good

„please don’t stop baby“

„never.“

you could never survive another period without lando

even if that meant travelling to grand prixs with him and sharing his time with racing

but it didn’t matter, because he was still as affectionate as ever and never stopped comforting you through your pain

even when you started crying over charles dsq in texas

he brought you to the ferrari garage to comfort charles - more for your comfort, but it didn’t matter

charles had to promise you, that he was fine and that he’s not gonna quit and accidentally end up on a ranch as a cowboy

lando thanked charles multiple times that day

or when you saw a little kid tumble and fall to the ground - you instantly started crying with the kid

lando hugged you and promised to help the little kid (even tho he was cackling up inside)

or when he had to get roscoe from lewis, because you needed cuddles but the race was about to start

you watched the race from his drivers room and cried when he drove into the points

you could get very emotional

but lando loved that about you

let’s be honest, that man loved everything about you

he still wasn’t sure how you were his girlfriend (lando norrizz)

but you loved him very much

°°°

@ironmaiden1313 , @topguncultleader , @biglittlesecret, @gulabjamooon , @lovelyy-moonlight , @peachyplumsss , @mistrose23 , @copper-boom , @love4lando , @champomiel , @serenityleah , @iloveyou3000morgan , @angelwithoutmywings , @elleeeee21 , @youkissedareaderinthedark , @mikauraur , @thybulleric , @lpab , @fdl305 , @mellowarcadefun , @teti-menchon0604 , @vildetry06 , @bibissparkles , @aurora-maria , @lunnnix , @sya-skies , @Buckywifeyy , @dakotali , @rechtrecht , @noncannonships , @1eclerc16 , @pitlanebabe , @sopheeg , @avengersheart , @thatsadsmallchild , @peachiicherries , @idkiwantchocolatee , @callsign-scully , @mehrmonga , @badbatch-simp24 , @lissyontour , @din0nugs , @elliegrey2803 , @gay-for-victoria-de-angelis , @10vely-yutazen , @daggersquadphantom , @azriel-the-shadowsinger , @i-love-scott-mccall , @darleneslane , @mikauraur , @heartmetaphor , @darleneslane , @ellswilliams , @thxtmarvelchick , @nataliambc , @dontjudgeabookbythecover , @hockeyboysarehot , @thehistoryone

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

The Dollhouse 2

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as fear, coercion, violence, noncon/dubcon, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk. 

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you. 

Summary: Five girls move into a shared residence for the upcoming school year but not all is as it seems. 

Characters: Jonathan Pine, Captain Syverson, Steve Abnesti, Lloyd Hansen, and Peter Parker 

This fic features five named readers; Ann, Lulu, Polly, Barbie, and Molly. This chapter features Ann and Lulu. Please note that characters may switch but will maintain second-person POV.

Note: It's thirstday.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. Thanks to everyone who reads this one and thank you for all your energy.<3 

Love you all until you can’t stand it. Take care. 💖 

You’ve been waiting all summer to come back. Campus is like paradise to you. Sure, it’s fun to party but there’s also all the clubs and the general sense of community. You always manage to find your way right into the heart of it all. 

You’re a bit disappointed to not be living on campus itself but you found an alternative not too far away, and in a nice neighbourhood too. Not to mention, your best friend ever, Polly, will be living with you! 

The uber pulls up to the front of the idyllic building and your cheeks bloom with excitement. You spent the extra money to haul all your bags from the station, and it was worth it. You couldn’t have dragged it all that way, even on the bus. 

The driver helps you get everything onto the curb. You thank him and tip him on the app. He looks at you with that fogginess that a lot of guys get. He asks if you need anything else and you assure him you’re just fine. He seems almost reluctant to go. His spindly fingers twiddle at his side as he slinks around the hood. 

You stand with your bags and take out your phone. Polly said she was on her way. You don’t want to go in without her. You send her a message asking how close she is.

“Hey, what’re ya standing in the middle of the sidewalk for, bitch?”  

You wince as you spin to face the grizzly snarl. You harrumph and scowl at Polly as she cackles. It’s funny to think she could do such a scary voice considering she always looks so dainty and perfect. Even then, she wears a blouse and skirt, with a scarf that reminds you of an Audrey classic. Never a stitch out of place with her. 

“You sure are dressed for moving day,” you remark dryly. 

“Mm, don’t talk to me Barbie Doll,” she tosses the derisive nickname at you, “I see you have on the classic Mattel shade today.” 

You pout your pinkened lips at her and roll your eyes, “whatever! Pol! We’re gonna be roommates!” 

You squeal together and she lifts her bag over the lip of the pavement, “hell yeah.” 

You giggle and look up at the house. You went there once before for the walkthrough and it’s even more perfect than you remember. You bend to take your smallest bag and Polly shakes her head. 

“Really? You brought all that? I hope you don’t think I’m gonna be your personal camel and carry it.” 

“Don’t be such a downer,” you stick your tongue out. 

“Excuse me,” a deep timbre rolls over as the front gate squeaks. You and Polly share a startled look then turn to the large blond man as he steps through. That isn’t Jonathan... “Are you girls here for moving day?” 

“Uhhhhh,” you drone out and once more glance at your BFF, “we are.” 

“Oh, let me explain, Jonathan can’t make it. He has an emergency at another property. He left your keys with me to deliver,” he stirs around in the pocket of his blazers as he stands across the pavement. 

He's taller than the building manager you met in July, broader too. He’s bigger in every way and just as blond. He wears a pair of square glasses and only a plain tee under his suit jacket. He fishes out two key rings and shakes them. 

“Here we are,” he grins. He steps forward and offers you one of the fobs. “Front door is a censor. All new system.” He gives Polly the other dongle. “By the way, I’m Steve. I help Jonathan with security. I’ll be popping in for routine measures but I shouldn’t bother you too much.” 

“Oh thanks. I’m Barbie, this is Polly,” you squeeze the fob and smile at the grand facade of the building. “Awesome.” 

Polly toys with her keyring and stays quiet. She’s usually a riot but around men, you’ve noticed she gets a bit shy. You don’t blame her. Steve is a big guy and his gaze doesn’t falter for a single second. 

“Well, that’s great,” you continue, “good to be safe.” 

“Yeah, especially with a house full of girls. You never know,” he says. 

You blink at the subtlety of his suggestion. Obviously, there’s always those who will have the worst intentions but you try not to think of that. Besides, you’ve been around the block and it all looks very ordinary to you. 

“Anyway, let me show you inside. You’ve already got a roommate waiting on your girls,” he announces and claps his hands. “Can I help you with some of this?” 

He nods to your bags and you shimmy as you laugh at yourself, “oh, yeah, aha. I wanted to make sure I had everything.” 

“No problem, think I can handle it,” he bends and picks up your two largest bags. He doesn’t struggle at all. You gather up the three smaller ones and Polly rolls her suitcase with her. 

He stands inside the gate as he waits for you to enter. You lead the way up the walk as Polly clicks behind you. You climb the steps and strut across the porch. 

“Go on in,” Steve calls from behind. 

You do as he says and set your bags to the side of the entryway. You pause to take off your shoes as you see another pair on the mat. A pair of round-toed flats with bows. 

“You two are upstairs,” Steve says, “at the top, rooms at the end of the hall. Do you want me to bring your bags up?” 

“Oh, no, you can leave them at the door,” you face him again. “This is so lovely. Will you let Jonathan know we got here or should I call him?” 

“I can take care of it,” he says. “I’ll be headed to him once the rest of you show up. My partner’s out of town so we’re short right now.” 

“Your partner?” 

“Like I said, security.” 

“Ah, right, ha,” you rock your shoulders and he puts your bags down lightly. 

“Sure you don’t want some help,” he peers upstairs. 

“Really, we’re all good, right Polly?” 

“Mhmm,” she nods and looks past him. 

“Right, I’ll be outside. There's three more coming.” He nods and turns to go. 

You wait until he’s out the door to proceed upstairs. As you do, Polly sighs. 

“He was nice,” you say. 

“I guess,” she agrees dully. 

“He’s just doing his job.” 

“I know, it’s just, boys, guys, or whatever, standing next to you with them is like being invisible sometimes,” she mutters. “Not your fault but... yeah.” 

“Whatever. He’s a bit old for me,” you scoff as you get to the second-floor hall. You forgot how wide it was. Probably a good thing knowing it will be a full house. 

As you come to the end of the hall, a door opens and you see a single eye peer out. You stop short and Polly hits your back. The girl shifts the door and sticks her head out. 

“Uh, hi,” she squeaks, “I’m Lulu.” 

“Hey, uh, we’re... Barbie,” you point to yourself, “and Polly.” 

Polly leans around to wave with her free hands, “hi, Lulu.” 

Lulu lets the door go and steps out, “it’s been so quiet around here. I got here last week. It’s so nice to have people around.” 

“Oh, really?” You wonder. 

“I’m on exchange so... yeah, had to fly in,” she smiles sheepishly. “Anyway, sorry to bug you. Just wanted to say hi.” 

“You’re not bugging us at all! We were just chatting with Steve--” 

“Steve?” She frowns, “oh, the big bald guy? That’s Sy.” 

You frown and look at Polly, “no, Steve. Blond hair. Big.” You make yourself wide as you say the last word. 

“Ohhhh, sorry, I haven’t been out of my room. I’ve been so nervous,” she giggles and it sounds like a tinkling bell. 

“He’s the security guy or something,” Polly says. 

“Right,” Lulu’s lips tremble, “cool. Um, anyway, if you need me to show you around...” 

“Um, sure. We’ll drop out things off then I want to have a look at the kitchen. I was thinking of having some drinks once the rest got here. Maybe we can do a housewarming,” you chirp. 

“Oh, that sounds fun,” Lulu laughs again and it seems to clog her throat. She clears it and blinks, “sorry. Nervous.” 

You smile. You like meeting new people and the most exciting part for you, is all the different personalities coming together. And there’s still three more girls on the way. 

New things are always scary. For you, even the familiar is frightening. Sometimes what you know is the most dangerous. Like the bullies you went to school with for years.

Transferring to a new college is enough stress on its own but moving to a whole new city, that’s another beast on its own. Just like a dragon on its hoard. You clutch your worn novel to your chest as you walk down the street, your bag bouncing on the cracks in the sidewalk. 

You should’ve written this down. You think you’re going in the right direction. After the greyhound, you counter the city transit into the core and from there, you’ve been walking in circles. Finally, you recognise a street name and stop to turn on your data and spend a few MBs on confirming your destination. Just at the end. Phew. 

That gate was in the photos, those hedges too. Wow, it looks so much better IRL. You slow down in disbelief as you stare up at the siding. This can’t be. For the price you’re paying, you have to have taken a wrong turn. 

“Moving in?” A chipper voice asks as a shadow skews over the pavement next to yours. 

You blanch and look over at a boy about your age with reddish brown hair and warm amber eyes. He grins as you lower your chin then turn back to the house, “uh, yeah?” 

“Me too,” he says. “Peter. It’s a pretty cool building, huh? My aunt knows the owner.” 

“Mr. Pine,” you murmur. 

“I call him Jonathan but, yeah,” he chuckles. “You’re a Thrones fan?” 

You furrow your brow and glance over again. Then you check the book in your hand. 

“I’ve only read the books,” you say. 

“Ah, I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name.” 

“Molly,” you answer and sniff. You stare up at the house as it sinks in. You’ll be sharing a space with him. Not only him, but four others. 

“Should we go in together?” He offers. 

“Sure, why not,” you clutch your phone against the book and drag your bag forward. “Um, Mr. Pine said we should call--” 

“Yeah, that’s whatever. Like I said, I know him,” he insists as he goes ahead of you and unlatches the gate. “Come on.” 

You come forward as he hitches up his duffle bag. Your suitcase rattles over the threshold as another figure appears from the porch, “Pete, didn’t say you were bringing your girlfriend.” 

A large blond man, built like a warrior in a fantasy novel, descends the steps, “don’t think the roommates will be very happy about that.” “Whatever, Steve. She’s one of them. We just met.” 

“Ah, another one,” the man says, “great, just one more then.” The man digs in his pocket, “Jonathan left the keys.” He takes out two fobs and doles them out between you and Peter, “I’m Steve. Security.” He explains. 

“Oh, uh, nice to meet you,” you eke out. 

“This is Molly,” Peter intones and you give a bashful look. Oops, you forgot that. 

“Right, you two are on the first floor,” Steve says, “you wanna show her around, Pete?” 

Peter clucks, “Peter,” he corrects, “Steven.” 

The large man chortles and nods at you, “let me know if he gives you any trouble. It is my job to deal with the rabble.” 

You smile tightly and Peter waves off the other man, “come on. I’m sure you don’t wanna stand out in the sun with this lump head.” 

You show your teeth apologetically before you follow Peter. He strides down the walk and up the steps. You’re a few feet behind him. 

As you enter the house, you hear voices. They hush and you listen for them as they seem to do the same. Peter stands on the mat as you unlace your sneakers. 

“Hello?” He calls out, “anybody here?” 

There’s some noise before footsteps come from somewhere deep in the house. You look up to the top of the stairs as a figure appears above. The girl bounds down as two others loom behind her. 

“Helloooooo!” She trills, “I’m Barbie!” 

“Barbie,” Peter says, “hey. I love your lipstick.” 

“It’s gloss, actually, honey,” she winks, “you two are moving in? You’re friends too?” 

“Oh, uh no,” you shake your head, “we just...” 

“Good timing,” Peter says, “Peter, Molly.” He points in tandem with his introductions. 

“So cute, Molly, well up there is Polly. That rhymes! Polly and Molly, and that’s Lulu,” she gestures up behind her as the girls wave, “think there’s only one room left.” 

“What are we thinking?” Peter asks. “Party tonight? Ice breakers?” 

“Something like that. Drinks?” Barbie suggests. 

“You’re my kinda girl, Barbs.” 

“Barbie, hon,” she chides with a wag of her finger, “anywho, I’ll let you two get cozy while we wait on the last one.” 

“I hope it’s a dude,” Peter mutters as he turns away.  

You smile at Barbie then follow him. You’re not sure where your room is but he seems to know exactly where he’s going. You wouldn’t mind a door to hide behind. 

[lambilegs]

was reading your modern!lee hcs and omg lee x reader meeting on tinder or some dating app is such a fun idea

MODERN!LEE MEETING YOU ON A DATING APP

contains: sfw!!, fluff, just crush stuff nothing major middle picture is from: the guy she was interested in wasn't a guy at all by sumiko arai divider by: @enchanthings note to anon: so so so sorry for how long it took to answer this!! thank you so much for the request, this was so fun and so funny to write hehe

you can’t even lie — you one thousand percent swiped right just for her looks LMAOOOO like it’s not your fault even, her profile just has so little to go off of. it’s essentially just a lot of candid pictures her friends have selected for her, with some plain bio that just says what her job is and that she’s looking for something serious (yes, she cringed when adding that second part, and yes, her friends forced her to)

but still she gets bare swipes on her profile, since, well, she’s hot and people find her even hotter when they realize through her bio that she’s a special agent

and, lee? well, she kinda doesn’t swipe much at all, considering she’s very analytical and scrutinizing with everyone’s profile, overthinking about what their bios and fun facts indicate about them, and if they’re compatible with her

eventually, her friends have to snatch the phone and much to her horror, swipe on a bunch of people without pause, their cackles practically evil as she wordlessly watches

you end up being one of the victims of this swiping rampage, which leaves you eagerly texting her a greeting, biting your thumb when you see she reads your message

except... one hour passes. and then another. and then another. and she simply doesn’t reply, leaving you on read for two days before replying back

you’re expecting an apology, something to explain her lack of reply, but all you get is a “hi,” causing you to scoff in annoyance

you try your best to fish it out of her, replying, “hi!! I wondered where you went haha”

when she immediately replies, “what do you mean?” you text, “oh well it said you read my message two days ago”

after the speech bubble pops up then disappears a few times, you laugh out loud at her reply: “oh. I didn’t know you could see that.”

listen, I love her — but like, c’mon, we all know you’re CARRYINGGGG the first conversation. it’s filled to the brim with dry, short, one-worded responses from her, and at one point, you’re pushed to ask, “sooo why did you swipe on me?” since a part of you is wondering if she’s even interested

you nearly delete the conversation when she replies, “I didn’t. my friends did.”

the only redeeming factor is the text she sends a few minutes afterwards, saying, “but, you’re nice, though. they only swiped for me because they said I was overthinking it.”

and that naturally leads you two into a conversation about how much she’s hated dating apps so far LMFAO so you both wind up complaining together, which proves to be a great ice breaker

she has some texting habits that still get you on edge, though, like randomly dropping off the face of the earth for hours to days, and giving you blunt and short responses. even her use of periods sometimes has you biting your lip in nervousness LMAO

but, you can tell she’s trying harder, asking you questions like what you liked about your hometown, or what do you like about your favourite movie genre. you like that about her — her questions aren’t the generic “wyd?” she asks questions that actually allow you to reveal things about yourself, intimate things that really make you feel like you’re sharing these hidden parts of yourself

you eventually adjust to her texting style, slowly figuring out she’s not completely aware of how dry it comes off, and just doesn’t bother with any texting etiquette most people rely on in order to soften their words, like emojis or exclamation points

but, three weeks into texting, when she leaves for an entire two days after you and her had a conversation about your past experiences with romance, you finally crack and ask her, “why do you keep randomly leaving for so long?”

as you had partially expected, she replies with, “I just leave whenever I feel socially drained or get busy. I get caught up with work and won’t reply to messages during that time.”

when you reply neutrally, not exactly sure what’s the fair thing to say, she asks, “does it bother you?” it makes you smile a bit, to know she’s so in tune with your texting style she knows when you’re feeling off. that’s another thing you’ve grown to like about her — she’s perceptive as hell, remembering every little thing you’ve exposed about yourself and able to wind the map of yourself maybe even better than yourself. like, when you mention having high expectations for romance, she muses, “must be the early 2000s romance films,” as though she’s already confident in her ability to read you. and maybe she should be

when you admit you feel a bit hurt when she leaves abruptly without warning, especially if it’s right after you opened up to her, she replies, “I’m sorry. I won’t do it anymore.”

and she doesn’t. it shocks you, really. just how utterly and completely decent she is, how sure she is of ensuring her promise to you doesn’t go broken. she’ll now send you texts like, “work is getting busy, I’ll be back in a few days.” or if she needs to abruptly leave after a certain tender conversation, she’ll always let you know when she’ll be back to continue it. the entire thing makes your heart swell

when you first send her a voice message, it’s to explain a long ass story about a friendship breakup you had. a part of you is scared to, fearing that she’ll find your voice unattractive and maybe like you less. but, you know it’s a necessary step, and she’s bound to hear your voice anyways once you guys meet

so, shakily, heart throbbing, you send her an audio with a trembling voice and lots of — way too many — giggles

when she says nothing about your voice, only remarking on your story, you groan in frustration, nearly screaming in your pillow. you really can’t play any coy, indirect games with her, can you? and so, you send her another message, hoping it doesn’t come off as too serious when you say, “sooo kicking your feet over my voice?”

“kicking your feet?”

shit. of course she doesn’t know the reference

“like,” you text with a grumble, “do you like my voice?”

a bubble pops. then, it vanishes. then, it pops again. and, then: “I do. it’s nice.”

you know it’s barely anything, but still, you beam at your phone like an idiot. and, then, you release a nearly earth-shattering scream when you see an audio message back from her

you pray you like her voice, sucking in a deep breath when you hit play

and immediately, your eyes shut. god. what a goddamn pretty voice she has. it’s light, so airy you feel like it could be carried in the wind, drifting and drifting. and it has this pleasant little edge to it, rough but velvety in its occasional husk. god, you could get drunk off it

one day, when out with friends, you get drunk, high, or maybe just a bolt of courage form their insistence that this lee girl definitely has a thing for you. but, all you know is something triggers a bolt of courage to zap through you, and before you know it, you’re texting her, sloppily texting in the midst of the bumping crowd, “hiiioii I miss you”

she reads it, then to your intense nervousness, doesn’t reply till twenty minutes later, simply saying, “I miss you too”

you pout, replying, “do you really? you took so long to reply”

she immediately responds then, writing out, “I just didn’t know what to say”

“because you didn’t miss me?”

“no. I do miss you. I just am not used to all of this”

your eyebrows furrow. you type out, “all of what?”

“having someone I want to talk to everyday.”

the confession has you holding your breath, the rest of the room becoming drained out white noise as your gaze lingers upon those words, a swarm of butterflies whirling in your stomach. you bite your lip, texting back, “I feel the same way”

she excuses herself, then, saying she needs to get back to work. but, that doesn’t dissuade you from believing the earnestness of her words. you know she wouldn’t lie just to tell you what you want to hear. no, she truly meant it. and that has you buzzing with a thrill all night

the next morning, after sleeping in an egregious amount after the late night out, the memories of what occurred slowly settle back into your consciousness and you cringe, feeling embarrassed for how exposing you were in your need for her. when you pick up your phone and see she’s messaged you two hours ago, you wince slightly before opening it. but, what meets your eyes has you jolting up in bed with a sharp gasp, mouth dropping

“when can we meet?”

[causeimcrayzeebee]

wow. chapter 3. that was a lot. spoilers down below as usual.

also before we start i just wanna say to all of you guys to PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!!! ik that this week n last week were so much but please don’t forget to prioritize your health!

okay i was taking notes in my notes app while watching cause i wanted to have some reminders so i could write a coherent review on the trial but god. that fucked me up. i did genuinely really love the trial but it’s just a lot to process so i will be waiting till i write any analysis, so don’t expect any very soon LMAO um so yeah, my notes started off decently normal (lie but they were intended to be normal n serious) and then became more and more incoherent. here ya go, my notes copy pasted over here ☝️

chapter 3 yay

“exactly what it sounds like tamba” THIS BITCH CHANNELING KAMIMURA I CANTTTT 😭😭😭

HAMA TELLING WADA TO BREATHE I ALREADY TWARED UP WUAUE HAMA HELPING WADA W THE BATHROOM THATS SO SWEET

watari telling okazaki off hell yeah lets go but also IAGAH

DONT TALK ABOUT HIM GRRR

hiroaki is actually so smart n we don’t talk about that enough!!!!!! please can we talk about that more!!!!!!

OKAZAKI NOT SHUTTING UP BYE 😭

Hasegawa having to defend himself with evidence only 😭

OH MY GOD HASEGAWAS RAGE WHEN BEING SUSPECTED BC HE CARED THE MOST 😭 the va work was fantastic i got so fucking sad

watari getting itchy from the demon waves im CACKLING

HIROAKI POWERING THROUGH THE BODY DESCRIPTION LETS GO 🗣️🗣️💯💯💯💯

god i knew that was SH cuts but GOD I appreciate how much hasegawa tried to keep it private 😭

Hama being a king n bringing up the bop on the head like tambas poison theory bye

LAB SAFETY VIOLATION 😭 Okazaki label picture dropping when

FINALLY! IT WAS POISON!!!! lmfaooo she was so excited im so happy for her

hiroaki being truthful about trying to kill himself what the FUCK IM GONNA CRY

PLEASE KEEP YP WITH THE REST OF THE GROUP LMAO  STOP BULLYING HER SHES TRYING

hayashigeki divorce arc 

nah but fr what if i cried they’re both so valid but lowk yanagi got a point 😭

WHY DOES TAMBA NOT KNOW WHAT A 3D PRINTER IS I CANT KEEP DEFENDING YOU LIKE THIS 😭😭😭

they shared a bed let us REJOICE 🗣️🗣️

“when she came back from the void” “THE WHAT”

WADA RAGE WADA RAGE WADA RAGE

woodshop mention 🗣️🗣️🗣️

hiroaki being strategically logical and yanagi being more emotional god I LOVE HIRONAGI FOILS

“it seems as though we’re somewhat divided on this issue” SCRUM DEBATE 😜😜😜

yanagi using so much energy to argue with mfs 

the way hayashi gets it out of him,,, HE WAS TRYING TO OPEN THE DOOR AUAGSHS

Hama as a safety precaution in wataris room LMFAO I LOVE THIS DUO SO MUCH MORE THAN I EXPECTED

YANAGI STOP BEING SUSPICIOUS UAGAHEUE

it cannot be tamba absolutely not please that’s gotta be insane she does NOT have the motivation for that

tamba is lowk distressed :(

so technically can only be okazaki, yanagi, or tamba????? im gonna cry either way

OH I DIDNT EVEN THINK ABOUT THE SHIRT THING BEING MORE THAN THE COLD

guys pls don’t let it be yanagi

please no

guys no

god fucking no

oh right his hand isn’t working let’s go

NOT MY QUEEN HAYASHI

GIRL NOT THE TRACK RECORD MENTION 😭😭😭

nah wait why is hiroaki suddenly becoming the emotion n yanagi the logic

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

HASEGAWA HAVING A PISSED OFF WADA MOMENT AUAHSHS FUCKKK

NO NOT WATARI HIDING ON THE COAT BEING USED AS EVIDENCE EUEGEGG

sus ahh Okazaki….. with 20 minutes left……. how we feeling Okazaki nation…..

stop lying vro

wadas ribs has been added to your truth bullets

COAT REVEAL 🗣️🗣️🗣️

WATARI 😭😭😭😭😭

oh god i wasn’t expecting that

WATARII MY SWEET BABY OH MT GOD POBRECITO RUCK FUCK MT STUPJD BAKA LJFE

THE LAUGHING

WHAT

WHAT RHE FUCK

WHAT IS GOINNGGG ON

FACE REVEAL1?1?2?3?

BRO OHTTA THE FRAME

OH MT GOD

IM SCREAMING WHAT IS THIS

IM LOSING IT

WHA

IM CRYING WHATBIS THIS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

this is not real

SODA AT THESE LINES UPPP LMFAOAOAO

OH MY GOD THEYRE NEMESES THATS KINDA AWESOME NGL

everyone being so done with her bye 😭😭😭

SHE WANTED TSUNO SO BAD???? TOXIC ONE SIDED YURI WTF????

IM STILL PROCESSING

this is not happening

THE VOICE CHANGE

EVERYONE IS SO DONE WITH THEM IM SCREAMING

guys why do i kinda love this

tsuno didn’t gaf

WADA GET THEIR ASS 😭😭😭

there is nothing classy about whatever this is

no bc the rivalry is insane

POBRECITO WATARI

KAMIMURA DIED FOR NOTHING WHAT THE FUCK

WHAT THE HELL

WHAHWTWHWKE

loathing unadulterated loathing

get her ass what the fucking shit

NO CLOSING ARGUMENT??????

KAMIMURAS SHORT TOO

OH MY GODDDD

IM SCREAMING

THIS IS CRAzyyt 😭😭😭😭

WHAT IS THIS

this was villanous

GET THEIR ASS HASEGAWA PLSSS 😭😭😭😭

i am in such shock

FUCK YOU FOR MESSING WITH MY KING IM THROWING HANDS IMMEDIATELY

WATARI OH MY GODDDD AUSHSH 😭😭😭

“GO DIE ALREADY” LMFAOAO

the editing for this episode is crazy

wada so real

wada get their ass pls

END THIS SHIT ALREADY

BRO WAS CONFINED FOR A SECOND HELEPP1??1?2?2

fourth wall breaking icon??????

i think im hysterical what do you MEAN HE DIED FOR NOTHING

okay back from crying and pacing around for 10 minutes let’s continue

THE TONGUE WAS A TROPHY?????????? I need another break WHATVTHE fucke

smart to get hasegawa outta here but FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU OKAZAKI

PLEASE VOTE PLEASE PLEASE WHAT THE FUCK!!!

actually when is the Okazaki lore drop happening i need it

THIS MAKES ME SO SAD KAMIMURA DIED BEFORE ANY OF HIS DREAMS BECAME TRUE AND HE LIVED A MAINLY TRAGIC LIFE AND IT ENDED TO HORRENDOUSLY????? IM SO UPSET ACTUALLY

EXECUTE THEIR ASS

WADA PLEASE BE THE EXECUTIONER

OH MY GOD HES TRYING TO HIT THEM OH MY GOD GET THEIR ASSS

OH GET THEIR ASS HASEGAWA

HASEGAWA RAGE RAGE RAGE RAGE HOLLYYYYY FUCKKKKKKKK

WHAT THE RUCWHAT THE FUCJS

WATARIIII OH MT GODDDDDDD

im in actual tears hey yeah what the hell

WATARI HASEGAWA AND WADANOH MT FUCKING GOS THIS WAS SO DESPAIRING WHAT THE FUCK. THE FUCKz THE FUCK.

WATARI 😭😭😭😭😭😭

im actually crying now

I CANT SEE THE SCREEN MY TWARS DUDE WHAT RHE HELL

THE WAY THAT THE CAST IS SO DONE WITH THEM

WELL BE FOXES OKAY? OH MY FOD STOP STIP STOPS FTOOSTBOSRN AROP IT I WILL FOLLOW YOUR FLAME WHAG IF I CRIED

im at such a loss okay trial over execution time

me too dr yonekura

IM STILL PISSED ABOUT KAMIMURA

I MISS KAMIMURA SO BAD

I MISS HIM SO MUCH OHHHHHH MY GOD BRING HIM BACK GUYS PLEAS EPLEAPELWMEPALEPALDJRPWMAPEKE

the way yonekura is so done w okazaki 💀💀

WHO OKAYED THAT HOWD THAT GET THROUGH BUDGETING IM IN TEARS

this chapter was simultaneously the most serious tetro has ever gotten and the most unserious at the same time

oh so she just like suffocated

YONEKURA DOES NOT THINK THIS WAS INNOVATIVE IM SCREAMING LMFAOAO

not an expensive motive???? oh boy

OKAZAKIS TRACK COMING IN I CANTTTT

kamimura nation I think we need a minute (a year of losing it)

THEY ARE CHANGING THE ANNOUNCMENT MID GAME?? wait a damn minute we didn’t have the three person rule before hand bye why did i not realize this,,,, fuck y’all doctors btw

WHAT

OKAZAKI WAS YONEKURAS KID???? AND THEIR NAME WAS YUME????? oh guys I need a lore drop so bad. and also to get through the staffside logs. maybe this is not the surprise it is to me I’m bye. 

the fuck is wrong with yonekura

how are parents even working

soryr i genuinely had to take another break my mom walked into the room and i had somewhat gotten it together n she asked what happened and i just started BAWLING oh my GOD it’s genuinely been so long since I’ve cried like this over a fictional character

ok we are locked in now

OJIMA WHAT THE FUCK HE TRIED SO HAR DOH MY GOD THE TEARS CAME RIFHT BACK

I DONT WANNA LEAVE YOH BEHIND OH MY GOD

HIROJIMA MY BELOVEDS

my eyeliner is GONE bro 😭

guys I really fucking love hiroaki

she done w yanagi 😞

TAMBA APOLOGY RAHAHHHH i love tamba i was a hater a bit during the trial but it’s because i love her,,,,

I LIKE YOU TAMBA YOURE SOMETHING TO ME

MY HEART OH MY GOD “I JUST MISS YOU” IM GONNA CRY AGAIN

NOW I HAVE TO FORGIVE YOU okay bro….. just say you love her…..

their friendship is so special i NEED TO DRAW THIS HUG SO BAD

THEYRE TALKING TO TSUNO

FUCK

AUAHSOEIEOE OH MT GOD

I MISS TSUNO GUYS I MISS HER SO BAD

WADA 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I LOVE YOU OH MY FOD I CHOKEE J CANT SEE ANSYTHING ON THE KEYBOARD ANYKORE

NEW WASA CLOTHES THATS SO FYXJING CUTE AWWW I LOVE THIS SO MYCH

HE WAS DRAWING HIM TO MAKE HIM AN OURFIT1?2?2?2? FUCKKKK TETRO RHINES MY LIFE SLASH POS

WADA NEW CLOTHES SPRITE WHEN

WADA HIROAKI HUG IM DRAWING THIS IMMEDIATELY

WADA HAIR CUT WADA GLOW UP 🗣️🗣️🗣️ FUCK YEAH 

im so glad we ended that on a high note that made me so happy after everything else

no hasegawa episode? interesting…. unless we get one in like an hour or something but yk wow

i do want to say that despite the emotional rollercoaster that was this trial, and the frankly INCREDIBLY UNEXPECTED outcome, i did like it narratively. ik the decision of having okazakis character go this direction is gonna be incredibly controversial amongst the community but i really loved it. kamimuras death was almost meaningless, that’s tragic AS FUCK. but “meaningless” deaths happen. it’s not strange to kill off a character for no reason, because people die unfairly way more than we even want to think. and it SUCKS. it sucks SO BAD. but it’s not unrealistic. I think the unserious tone of Okazaki really made the tone of the entire series become even darker and more sinister. wow, anyways take what im saying here w a grain of salt bc im kinda hysterical rn so yeah.

PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF YALL!!!! in the end, it heavily impacts us because these characters mean things to us, but PLEASE prioritize yourself <3

[vividiana]

Writers Truth & Dare Ask Game!!!

🛼 ⇢ describe your latest wip with five emojis 🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now 📚 ⇢ what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app?  🦴 ⇢ is there a piece of media that inspires your writing?  🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

WOOO!!!!~ These are such fun questions <3 Enjoy!!

WOOO LET'S GOOO! thank you for these 💕

🛼 ⇢ describe your latest wip with five emojis these are about chapter 8 because I keep writing out of order: 💄🕺🏻🪩🫦💡

🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now

I'm part of a lovely little internet community full of kind, talented, and supportive people LIKE YOU 💗

I've been going to a therapist that I clicked with and who's actually helping me find concrete solutions and not just nodding her head sympathetically

my best friend is getting married in september and I get to be there for her every step of the way through all the prep and planning as her witness (which is more or less the Polish equivalent of a maid of honor/best man), and then I get to see her marry someone who makes her feel loved and safe and appreciated every single day??? amazing. 10/10.

📚 ⇢ what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app?  I started reading @dramatiquechipmunk's latest crack fic last night and I was writing down my reactions, which mostly included things like "CACKLING" and "I am deceased" (bbg get ready for some chaotic comments lol). here is the fic, do yourself a favor and check it out! I haven't finished it yet but it's already made me laugh so much. it's about a certain vampire getting too defensive over some silly fanart of himself and then unleashing a whole social media scandal. an alternative title could be: "Wyll's worst days as Astarion's PR manager"

🦴 ⇢ is there a piece of media that inspires your writing?  answered here! but also I just remembered that I felt really inspired by the writing in disco elysium. truly some of the best writing I've seen in a video game

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately? answered here and here. another thing that irks me is when someone is committed to writing Lae'zel as "the mean one" and ignores all of her character development. THAT'S MY FAVORITE GIRL RIGHT THERE, DON'T DO HER DIRTY. she's such a loyal friend and she's also so fucking funny and I love when authors capture that

writers truth & dare ask game

[mjonthetrack]

vice queen v

Chapter 156: “Do NOT Get a Pink Diamond.”

Camille was mid–miso soup slurp when her phone buzzed. The girls were posted up at the sushi bar, half through cocktails, plates of dragon rolls, and deep-fried tempura that smelled like heaven.

Lo was leaned back in her chair, sake in hand, still giggling over something Courtney said about Zilla’s morning tantrum. Marissa was chopping up a crunchy roll for Kingston via FaceTime with Sefa. And Camille? She was just vibin’…

Until she saw the notification on her lock screen:

Big Fatu 🧿: What size ring Lo wear.

Her face froze mid-sip.

“Uh…” Camille blinked and slowly looked up at the others, keeping her voice light. “Y’all don’t mind if I check this real quick?”

“Go ahead,” Courtney said, swirling her drink. “That sauce is bussin’, right?”

Camille smiled sweetly, turned her phone slightly under the table, and opened the text.

Big Fatu 🧿: What size ring Lo wear. Emergency. Also. Gold or silver. Is she a solitaire girl or she want that over-the-top cartel wife chaos?

She blinked once.

Then typed back in full stealth mode, under the radar like a damn ninja.

Camille: five. likes gold. either a bougie ass diamond or something unique. DO NOT do what the rest of y’all did. no black diamonds. no pink. def no weird-ass skull cuts. go timeless or go custom.

Three dots popped up.

Then:

Big Fatu 🧿: bet. appreciate you. also tell Maya stay out grown folks business.

Camille snorted, biting back a laugh.

Lo’s brows furrowed beside her. “What?”

“Nothing,” Camille said smoothly, sipping her drink. “Your man about to be ridiculous, I can feel it in my spirit.”

Lo side-eyed her. “What kind of ridiculous?”

Camille shrugged and picked up another roll. “Delulu. But rich. So you’ll be fine.”

Lo squinted at her suspiciously but let it slide as she sipped her sake.

Meanwhile… Back at the estate.

Jacob had his phone flipped over on his chest, laying back in one of the patio chairs, deep in thought. The others were still cackling about Maya.

But his mind? Already racing.

“Five…” he mumbled to himself. “Gold… unique. Got it.”

He opened a notes app and typed it all down like this was an op.

Then?

He opened Pinterest.

Because the man was deadly, yes. A cartel kingpin, yes. But also? He wanted to slay that proposal.

Chapter 157: “Cartel Pinterest Boards & Baby Pool Parties”

Jacob was holed up in the office upstairs, door barely cracked, hunched over his phone like he was trying to hack the Pentagon.

Jimmy and Jey were on either side of him, leaned in with the kind of unqualified confidence only brothers can bring to a life-altering decision they had zero business helping with.

“Bro,” Jey said, pointing at the screen. “That one.”

“That shit gaudy,” Jimmy muttered, shaking his head. “You tryna propose or start a bidding war at Sotheby’s?”

Jacob growled. “Y’all shut up. Camille said gold, clean, and not no damn pink or skull shit. We lookin’ for unique. Tasteful. Classic. Like her.”

Jey squinted. “You sure she want a ring? She just called you her ‘real-life boyfriend’ the other night like she was readin’ off a school permission slip.”

“She did say that…” Jimmy added.

Jacob slammed the laptop shut, his locs falling in front of his face. “Y’all wanna get shot today?”

They shut up immediately.

“My bad, my bad. Continue. Love wins,” Jey mumbled.

Jacob sighed and opened a Pinterest tab titled "Operation Lock Lo Down 🔒💎" and started scrolling again.

“I want something that’ll shut Maya and the devil up,” he muttered. “Something that says: ‘I’m her man, her king, her forever.’”

Jimmy leaned over. “That lil’ girl got you proposing out of spite and ego.”

Jacob shrugged. “And love.”

“Uh-huh.”

Meanwhile…

Downstairs on the balcony pool deck?

Lo had not a single clue her man was upstairs with two criminal masterminds plotting a Pinterest board like it was a coordinated attack.

She was down near the infinity pool, in a caramel-toned bikini, hair pulled up in a messy bun, oversized designer shades on, gold anklet glittering in the sun, and about seventeen children in her space.

Camille and Courtney were on lounge chairs with cocktails, cheering her on like she was running a one-woman summer camp.

Maya had floaties on and was organizing a toddler Olympics with Nova, Kingston, Kaia, Zara, Zephyr, and Kairo while Lo moved through them like a soft-spoken goddess of child management.

“Kaia, don’t push Nova again. That’s your cousin, not your competition.”

“Zeph, baby, your swim trunks backwards again. Come here.”

“Kairo—uh uh, pee goes in the potty not the pool, sweetie, c’mon.”

All the kids? Eating out the palm of her hand.

All the adults? Too scared to interrupt her groove.

Lo was in her element.

Jacob glanced down from the office window and nearly dropped his damn phone.

There she was—sun-kissed, baby oil glistening, booty jiggling just a little as she bent over to scoop Kingston into a towel.

“God. Damn.”

Jimmy peeked out the window.

“Oh yeah. You’re definitely proposing.”

Jacob was already halfway to the printer. “We need a vision board. I’m gonna do this shit RIGHT.”

Jey blinked. “...You makin’ a wedding mood board?”

“I’m makin’ an empire-bound forever-core mood board,” Jacob corrected. “Stay in your lane.”

Chapter 158: “That Ain’t a Kink, That’s Destiny”

Jacob had every intention of finalizing the ring design.

Promise.

But he made the mistake of glancing out that damn window again.

And there she was.

Lo. In a little gold bikini like sin wrapped in sunshine. Melanin poppin’, tattoos peeking, laughing soft as hell as she lifted Kaia out the pool and balanced Zephyr on one hip like it was nothing.

And the babies? Flocking to her like she was dipped in honey. Nova on her hip. Maya giving orders like a tiny lieutenant. Kairo waddling toward her yelling “auntieee!” like a war cry.

It was over.

Jacob froze, one hand on the laptop, the other on the ring catalog, and the only thing his brain could register was:

“She need to be barefoot and pregnant. In that bikini. With my last name. All the time. Today.”

His phone buzzed.

Jimmy: “Yo you still on ring search?”

He ignored it.

“She’s a mother already,” Jacob muttered, licking his lips. “To everybody’s kids but mine. Unacceptable.”

He watched her crouch down, water dripping down her thighs as she helped Maya with her goggles. Her ass? A blessing. Her arms? Holding up all that toddler weight like it was made for it.

And Jacob?

Fully spiraling.

“God made that woman with me in mind,” he whispered. “You see that grip she got on Kingston? That’s a future crib grip. That’s bedtime routine energy.”

Behind him, Jimmy and Jey just stared.

“Bro.”

“You good?”

Jacob didn’t move.

“That woman was wrangling seven damn kids. One more ain’t gonna kill her. Matter fact, I could give her twins right now.”

“Please stop speaking,” Jey begged, sipping water like he needed hydration from hearing this madness.

“She was literally bouncing babies and passing out juice boxes like communion. You can’t fake that. That’s wife-coded behavior.” Jacob turned, eyes glassy. “What am I doing up here making a mood board when I should be down there mood-making?”

Jimmy squinted. “That don’t even make sense.”

“She need to be carrying my next Fatu. I’m talking womb rent due immediately.”

Jey slammed the laptop shut. “You not allowed to plan nothing else. Go take a cold shower.”

Jacob smirked, backing toward the stairs like he had a divine assignment.

“Nah. I’ma go help my wife wrangle some kids and whisper ‘you ready for number eight’ in her ear.”

“She not even pregnant!” Jimmy yelled.

Jacob grinned wider. “Yet.”

Chapter 159: “You Need a Therapist, Not a Baby Mama”

The sun was starting to dip just a little, golden hour hitting that infinity pool like a damn music video.

Lo was in her element—barefoot, skin glowing, and surrounded by chaos, because the kids were going feral again over who got the last fruit punch box.

She leaned down to referee—ass in the air, locs falling over one shoulder, water glistening down her spine. Looking divine. Like she was made to be somebody’s wife and mother.

Jacob saw it. Felt it in his chest.

He was doomed.

He came up behind her real slow, all tall, tattooed, and dangerous with a towel slung over one shoulder and a look in his eyes like he was three seconds from snatching her straight off the damn balcony.

“You good, OG?” she asked, squinting up at him mid-toddler tussle.

“You the one lookin’ good, baby,” he murmured, voice low and syrupy. “Got all these babies out here like we run a nursery. You ever think maybe we should just go ‘head and make it official? Add one with our blood in it?”

Lo blinked.

“Excuse me??”

“I’m just sayin’,” he hummed, arm slipping around her waist, lips ghosting over her ear. “You already got that wife glow. Womb’s probably feelin’ a little... empty.”

Lo’s entire soul glitched.

“WHAT—”

Jacob grinned slow. “Come on, baby. Don’t fight destiny. I’m tryna make a Fatu right now.”

“In front of the kids?!”

“They not even lookin’, they tryna drown Kingston—focus.”

Lo took one look at him, saw that dangerous mix of lust and nesting delusion twinkling in his eyes, and she bolted.

Full-speed.

Barefoot, slippery, high-knees running down the deck in her bikini.

“HELL NO—Ain’t NOOO way you whispering ‘family planning’ like that’s foreplay!” she shrieked over her shoulder.

Jacob was already in pursuit, barefoot too, towel flying.

“YOU MY WIFE, LO—WE NEED A BABY WITH YOUR PRETTY ASS EYES—”

“I DON’T EVEN HAVE A DAMN RING, YOU LUNATIC—”

Camille, Courtney, and Marissa all watched Lo book it past the grill area.

Maya blinked and whispered, “Uncle Jacob got that crazy look again…”

Camille didn’t even flinch.

“Yeah, he tryna trap her with a baby.”

Courtney nodded. “Clockwork.”

Marissa sipped her drink. “Ten bucks says he catches her before she hits the stairs.”

maya yelled, “Auntie Lo RUN FASTER!”

And Lo?

Screaming with laughter as she dipped through patio chairs like it was a damn Mario Kart course, bikini top threatening to betray her.

“STOP CHASING ME WITH SPERM, YOU ABSOLUTE MENACE!”

Jacob? Laughing full belly, still chasing her like this was some kinda primal mating ritual.

Because to him?

It was.

Chapter 160: “The Security Square Activation”

Jacob was closing in, all that raw heat and primal urge pulsing through his veins like he was born to chase down his queen.

Lo’s laughter bubbled over with pure adrenaline, but when he got just a few feet away, she shrieked:

“HELP! JIMMY! CAMILLE! I’M UNDER ATTACK!”

Jimmy and Camille, sitting just a few steps from the pool, exchanged glances before Jimmy was yanked out his chair like a damn linebacker.

Lo grabbed his arm with both hands, planting herself between Jacob and the exit like a general commanding her troops.

“Jimmy, stay right here!” she commanded, eyes wild but laughing.

Camille smiled, already used to this circus, but Lo wasn’t done.

“COURTNEY! ZILLA! OVER HERE!”

Courtney and Zilla, who had been chatting quietly near the grill, turned just in time to have Lo loop arms with them like they were a human fortress.

“Security square, activate,” Lo said deadpan, grinning.

Jacob skidded to a stop.

“Bruh, what the hell—”

“No,” Lo said, voice firm but teasing. “You’re NOT getting me without a full team escort.”

Jimmy chuckled, stepping into his role. “You know I got you, sis.”

Zilla raised an eyebrow. “I’m just here to make sure he don’t break your ankles chasing you.”

Courtney crossed her arms, smirking. “And I’m watching for any slip-ups.”

Jacob shook his head, a slow grin spreading.

“Y’all really gotta do me like that?”

“All day,” Lo said, eyes sparkling.

He gave up the chase—for now—but kept one eye on his ‘security square’ queen.

“This game’s far from over,” he said low.

Lo laughed and pulled her posse closer.

“Bring it, big daddy. But know this—if you want me, you gotta run the gauntlet.”

Chapter 161: “Slow Dance & Slip Up”

Lo was floating, all blissed out and hazy from the blunts she’d been puffin’ on all night. The music dripped slow and thick, bass humming low like a heartbeat syncing with her own.

Jacob slid closer on the couch, voice smooth as melted chocolate.

“You lookin’ too damn pretty right now,” he said, low and soft, eyes tracing every curve like he was memorizing a sacred script.

Lo smiled all goofy, eyes glassy but bright.

“You tryna butter me up, or you just always like this?”

He chuckled, fingers brushing hers.

“Maybe a little of both. But right now, I just wanna dance.”

Before she could protest, he was pulling her up, wrapping his arms steady around her waist. The slow R&B track shifted, a deep velvet groove perfect for one thing: a slow dance.

Lo’s heart fluttered, her high mind trying to process how easy it felt to melt into him like warm caramel. Her head rested on his chest, and for a second, she forgot to keep her guard up.

“You know,” Jacob whispered, lips brushing her ear, voice all honey and heat, “dancing like this? It’s kinda like making a promise without sayin’ a word.”

Lo blinked, caught off guard by the tenderness but also the edge behind it. She shuffled a little closer, cheeks heating.

“You makin’ promises, big daddy?”

“Yeah,” he breathed. “Promises about keepin’ you close, takin’ care of you, and... maybe more.”

Lo giggled, totally glazed, and as she stepped a little too close, her hip bumped his hand, and the edge of her shorts slipped—just a little—revealing more skin than she intended.

Jacob caught it, grin widening like he’d won a damn jackpot.

“Look at you, fallin’ right into my trap.”

She blushed hard but couldn’t hide her smile.

“Trap? I’m just... dancin’.”

“Exactly.”

His hand slid lower, steady, possessive but gentle.

“You slipped up, baby girl. That’s how you know I’m serious.”

Lo’s breath hitched, caught in the web but not mad about it.

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

Longass Crop Circles Notes (I Don't Think I've Changed Chapter Two):

I don't want to talk about how many weeks these notes have been sitting in my notes app because I couldn't bring myself to go through them yet. My sincere apologies @spicymiilk

-Ah that incredibly relatable feeling when you want to get to one part of your story and you have to force yourself to slog through to get to it. It happens to us all.

-KIRI AND LO’AK GOING TO SPECIAL SCHOOL WHILE NETEYAM IS REGULAR IS SO FUNNY TO ME. Poor Lo’ak I’m being so mean to him. But you really want their asses GONE gone.

-Calling Jake a white man and saying he can’t understand their hair is so funny. Dude NEVER helped with ANY of his kids hair ever??? He’s never done Neytiri’s for her because he’s her bitch? Come on Jake, I expected more. Even I’ve done my cousins hair a few times. Maybe Spider will fare better?

-Obsessed with the way Neteyam is about his morning routine and solitude, it jives so well with my opinion of him. He’s got to have things his way, and under his control. Taken care of well. He’s going to have a field day with Spider. I see we are already leaning heavily into Neteyam’s "I can fix him" complex. Even when he wants to help Jake, which I know is something wheelchair users don’t often want if it’s something they do all the time themselves. It’s the innate feeling of standing by and doing nothing while watching someone struggle, when it’s their day to day life. And if that isn’t Neteyam’s whole thing? I’m obsessed with how he just cannot handle anyone else’s bad vibes without trying to fix it right away. Speaking of;

-If there is not a moment where Jake allows Neteyam to help him when he needs it, I will throw myself off a bridge, Andrei. ~growth~ the opportunity is there and it’s ripe.

-JAKE AND NETEYAM BANTER, I did not realize I was in a drought until I got a little bit of rain and I realized I was DYING OF THIRST. PARCHED FOR THEM.

-Jake “Detective” Sully: You are gay, son, try not to be too gay to the new foster kid you stalk at the local Micky Ds.

-I am literally obsessed with My Father Jake Sully who was neglected and hurt as a child being the most desperate man alive to connect with and heal kids in the same situation he was in. It fits so so well in his character for me. I feel like he spends most of his life trying to heal old wounds and make up for the past, in a way.

-Neteyam “I thought this kid was named Miles for years but I guess legally on his birth certificate it def must say Spider because it couldn’t be a nickname, that’s for sure” Sully

-I am CACKLING at them both lying to each other about McDonalds as though they both don’t know exactly how often the other one is there because they both find the other hot I’m dead.

-Spider mad at Norm for enforcing child labour laws has me wanting to make memes about it. The children truly do yearn for the mines.

-All the tiny little details of how Spider focuses on the people around him, on their moods and their movements and the way his brain works is so well done. That survival mindset takes years and years to unlearn, if you ever can fully. It’s well done as always.

-OH MY GOD EVEN NEYTIRI ALSO THINKS NETEYAM IS BEING TOO GAY THIS IS AMAZING.

-Justice for Jake, I will get him one of the cars paralyzed people can drive. Also his joke about driving Neytiri up the wall? HE’S A COMEDIAN. GET HIM A NETFLIX SPECIAL.

-Spider can’t look at Tuk because he was close with a little abused foster girl, where is the nearest bridge. NO REST FOR US, ANDREI?? ALL THE PAIN AND TRAUMA POSSIBLE CRAMMED INTO ONE EPIC.

-God the line about Spider’s therapist saying that his habit will lead him down a dangerous path, but he doesn’t understand why because he only ever hurts himself because he doesn’t see damage to himself as damage because he doesn’t see himself as worthy? Not worthy of the phone, of food, of attention or love? Truly my fav paragraph of the chapter. You are a master at establishing a character in a few subtle lines. It's a tactic that I only get after a few rewrites; instead of saying "Neteyam wants to fix everyone" you show us him in a situations where he wants to and can't help. Instead of telling me Spider doesn't care for his own safety, you tell me he's confused by his therapist saying his coping is dangerous. Instead of saying emotion, tell me something that would make me feel that emotion. Writing 101, and yet so hard to pull off properly.

-I laughed out loud at Neteyam trying not to look at Spider’s muscles I am dying. Neteyam should ask him out loud.

-EVEN TUK HAS IT ON LOCK, SHE SAYS NETEYAM HAS A THING FOR PEOPLE WHO SOUND A LITTLE SAD. This is so not funny but so funny because it’s all specifically for me.

-Neteyam later in life is like that dumbass gum commercial where the guy reveals he’s been keeping the gum wrappers every time the girl gives him one and drawing on them when and where she gave it to him? That’s Neteyam when the piles and piles of smiley face receipts fall out of his trench coat pockets.

-“I didn’t realize that was you” filthy liar. Spider’s smiley face drawing rizz is crazy. You bet your ass he wasn't doing that to every fuckers receipts.

-WHAT ON EARTH IS LO’AK DOING AT SMART PERSON SCHOOL, EVEN YOU DON’T KNOW ANDREI.

-THE CUTE BOY AT THE WINDOW ASKED FOR HIS NUMBER? AS IN, SPIDER, PHONELESS SPIDER, OR ANOTHER SNEAKY BASTARD BUTTING IN.

-Also these people have real memory problems, I’ve never forgotten any awkward interaction I’ve ever had in my entire life, especially not with a crush. I couldn't hear my crush at a party last year and I just laughed and said yeah and she was like "no I asked what you think" and not a single day goes by it doesn't play behind my eyelids like the DVD in The Ring. So, unless Spider has asked every single man at McDonalds out, he remembers when he asked a guy out and the guy sped off like he had a warrant out from Dominic Toretto.

-Oh my god, it was Spider. And this man sURVIVED that encounter? This man who can’t survive a strong breeze rn? What was he going to do with number, call him from phone booths? Send smoke signals to the write telephone wire? I am cackling at the idea that he had rehearsed this so many times and yet never actually thought through not having a phone.

-The smiley face on the paper. That revived Spider from his death post awkward encounter. There will be smiley faces on the invitations to their wedding and only Tuk will understand.

[beardedmrbean]

Hi, trying to make these one short…but in problem lying 🤡

But this thread

https://x.com/sophianarwitz/status/1772283920249167939?s=46

Also this whole “black people be can’t be in fantasy because of racism!” Is more because a lot of black kids were bullied the living fuck of for liking stuff kind fantasy because it was “white people shit” so they lost passion thus they never desire to go into that stuff to bring more rep

Of course a lot of white kids were bullied too

But the thing is you guys can call out your bullies without being called a coon or race traitor

Actually a lot of women here who were in geek culture often pointed out modern feminists were their childhood bullies

And tbh if this panel accurate…

https://youtu.be/JHgpHfrULHc?si=oJQcSWyPac1bCFZG

And that the thing about black stuff like in gaming or in current fantasy

It made be people who have surface levels of understanding of eras

“The Middle Ages were actually diverse!” The Europeans did established trade routes with the rest of world. Buuuut it was also common to stop or ended trades if Islam wanted to try another jihad again and the internal conflict

But about ac stuff and why I’m defending Yasuke as a second playable character

So when ac Japan was announced I decided to look into what time span they will use. So in ac Japan lore was explored here and there in books and other app. But they keep it light

Now a Chinese assassin Shao Jun acolyte Kotetsu went back home to establish his own assassins branch in Japan.

So the Japanese assassins were established in mid 16 century 1549-50 as that when Templars came to Japan

Now this story was told in a manga when it very like the ac red story being develop so they made sure not step on each other shoes

Then a iirc 2021-22 ac book centered around two Japanese assassins siblings during the Meiji period. It was noted the Templar didn’t gain a presence in Japan again until the American navy thus confirm the Tokugawa era was an assassin control one.

So when the leaks drop that Yasuke will be a second playable character. I figured out through research that the game will focus on the final sengoku civil war.

Now when ac3 did the American civil war in the pov of a Native American. It took a few hours in game and hell years in the story to explain why

Now I hope Yasuke can be handle in similar ways to why he want to help unify Japan in these story

But beyond that, feel like a lot of modern creators REFUSE to acknowledge the modern black American only exists in history during colonial and forward times. Hence my chimera republic idea

There a plenty of African kingdoms to use, but are you guys mentally stuck at 15 or something?

Representation matters. Exclusivity is not the same as racism.

She's correct, where it crosses the line into racism is the opening tweet where she's making a big deal out of it. Make your game and then if people bitch about it not containing white men you can point the finger at them.

Same outcome except you don't look like self hating racist, still are one but at least you can play dumb.

Also this whole “black people be can’t be in fantasy because of racism!”.........ect

Ya, that or they were told so many time that it's not something they do that it sapped their will to do it, that crosses over into a lot of things. When I see someone saying that women have to work 10 times as hard as men to get into STEM fields I ask them who told you that, and make sure they give a name instead of "society" because 98% of the time it was another woman that said it, same with the black community except it's white people instead of men.

Oh just a few seconds in and it looks fun, cackling woman is likely to be the kind of person who will try and claim that the oppression olympics isn't real moments after making a statement like her first one.

And that the thing about black stuff like in gaming or in current fantasy It made be people who have surface levels of understanding of eras “The Middle Ages were actually diverse!” The Europeans did established trade routes with the rest of world. Buuuut it was also common to stop or ended trades if Islam wanted to try another jihad again and the internal conflict

Alexander the Great's empire extended into India, not sure how far down into Africa but at least as far as northern Kush

But about ac stuff and why I’m defending Yasuke as a second playable character So when ac Japan was announced I decided to look into what time span they will use. So in ac Japan lore was explored here and there in books and other app. But they keep it light .........

You have absolutely done your homework on all of this, good to have a focus, nice.

Now when ac3 did the American civil war in the pov of a Native American. It took a few hours in game and hell years in the story to explain why Now I hope Yasuke can be handle in similar ways to why he want to help unify Japan in these story

I think historically at this point he's well enough known, legend or reality is going to be the issue, have fun with the story for sure, hopefully people don't take artistic license for fact (they will) and just enjoy the story, maybe take some time and put in some effort to do the reading like you've done.

But beyond that, feel like a lot of modern creators REFUSE to acknowledge the modern black American only exists in history during colonial and forward times. Hence my chimera republic idea There a plenty of African kingdoms to use, but are you guys mentally stuck at 15 or something?

Money. Also could you imagine the outcry if some company got Bantu knots confused with Dreadlocks.

You may have missed all the dreadlock discourse, that was just pathetic and whiny and good lord are there not better things to throw a hissy fit about.

Not really much in the way of records of SubSaharan Africa before the 7th century when some folks came a conquering, they wasn't white or Christian either, and setting up kingdoms and what not. At least for kingdoms that weren't bordering seas or oceans, those got to be older.

are you guys mentally stuck at 15 or something?

Yes, many of them are.

[olivander1270]

ghostly habits. | wolfstar | non-canon!au | wc: 0.497k ( inspired by this pin but originally from @courfeycute on this shithole of an app :) )

content includes course language :)

a.n: the beginning of a new au :) not necessarily a series, but this may have a pt2? i'm not sure. i'm not a huge fan of this but i need to start this blog one way or another :)

"you bloody wanker."

"i have no idea what you're talking about."

to the naked eye, it would appear that remus was talking to himself; maybe that's why his reputation lately has been so rambunctious lately. or maybe it was the ghostly figure looming over his shoulder like it had been for two weeks now.

"you see that group of teenage girls over there? the ones who have never looked my way before? yes well, thanks to somebody," remus glanced at the ghost over his shoulder, "they've been staring at me for the past ten minutes!" he whispered, attempting to pour every ounce of venom possible into his words.

the ghost, sirius, smiled. "remus, dear, i made you the talk of the town, really you should be thanking me. now, where were we on the list?" sirius craned his neck to get a look at the shopping list remus was holding in his left hand. his right was occupied by a half-full shopping basket. remus moved the list from sirius's line of vision.

"you made people think i'm a witch, sirius. let me go back through the chain of events for you, shall i? somebody throws a baseball at me-- which is a very normal thing to do in a game of baseball-- and remind me, sirius, what did you do?" remus stares expectantly at his ghostly companion.

"i caught it," sirius supplies. remus frowns. "i caught it while invisible." sirius rolls his eyes.

"exactly," remus says while placing a carton of eggs into his basket. "and now the whole town thinks i'm some sort of sorcerer. if one more person asks me to make them float i'm going to perform an exorcism on you."

"oi! i'm the one who has to bloody pick up everything people ask you to levitate. how tired do you think my arms get?" sirius follows remus up to the cash register. the boy scanning the items has a bored look on his face.

"that'll be thirty eight dollars. cash or card?"

"cash, please." remus hands the boy a fifty dollar note.

"i wonder what would happen if i socked this kid right in his face," sirius says, smugly. "it'd get you in a spot of trouble with the coppers, that's for sure."

the boy behind the register hands remus his change. "see you later, man. uh, keep me in your good books, okay? my mam says if i come home reeking of 'bad vibes' from seeing you, she's gonna kick me out."

remus stares blankly at the boy while sirius howls with laughter. "yeah, sure, dude." remus walks out of the store.

"oh my god that was gold!" sirius cackles, wiping iridescent tears from his eyes.

"for you, maybe. you see what you've done to me?"

"you did this to yourself, darling. you are the one who summoned me, whether it was on purpose or not. now you deal with the consequences. aka, me."

sirius winks, and remus knows he's thoroughly screwed.

divider cred to @cafekitsune :)

[girlgenius1111]

Okay so I did my best to pretend I was reading this on Wattpad. I legit took notes in my notes app so I could do this:

Caro!! She's here!! She rarely gets added in fics, I love her 🥺

"Sometimes, Mapi felt like she was teaching preschoolers how to identify and express their emotions when she talked to the both of you, though that might be an easier task." I laughed.

"More than anything, they just wanted you to be okay, no matter how inconvenient that process was for them." This was sweet 🥺🥺🥺🥺❤️

"but Mapi assured her that angsty teens always needed a lot of sleep, and depressed teens going through a rough time needed even more sleep." Mooooooood. Angsty depressed 20 year olds also need a lot of sleep fyi 😁

"Mapi chuckled. “We’re working on some of your sister’s annoying habits.” 

“Don’t get rid of too many, or there won’t be anything left.” You said, your lips tugging up into a smirk." Laughing. Giggling. Cackling, even.

"Privately, Mapi hoped Frido found you first. She wasn’t quite sure that you wouldn’t bolt away from Ingrid, but you wouldn’t be expecting Frido to pop up." PRAYING for some Frido interactions 🙏

"You really hated that she was right. Frido was always right. It was simultaneously her worst and best trait." She's just so Mother 😌

"Frido laughed. “I think she was born like that.”  " Oop- 🤭

“Ale’s sister Fresa-" FRESA MENTION

“Ikea. WE CAN GO TO IKEA AND GET FURNITURE FOR SOLSTRÅLE’S ROOM.”  Mapi looks like the sort of person who loves trips to IKEA. I don't think I've gone to one in like 10 years, I literally don't remember what they look like 😬

That's all I've got! Hopefully this was alright, I tried to put my thoughts into words but my brain was mostly unintelligible screaming because I was so happy that you'd posted ❤️❤️🫶

oh i love this so much i can’t even tell you 🥺🥺

caro appearance!! thought it fit well, she deserves more appreciation :)

have to keep the humor up otherwise everyone will be too sad

mother frido ☺️

🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓

mapi looks like she makes ikea an all day experience. they’re going for lunch. they’re going through ever section of the store even if they just need one thing.

[thelasttime]

any advice for somebody who's nervous to get on the dating scene?

for you!! (this is mostly for going on dating apps but i also think like dating in general)

dating tips!! first of all, i'm sure you know this and it usually goes without saying but please try to be yourself and not put up an image because at the end of the day, YOU !! are wonderful and lovely and your genuine self is the best person you can be

second, (especially because you haven't dated before) not every date is going to be perfect and wonderful. there will be dates where you realize in the span of 5 minutes that this person is very much Not The Person for you - and that's ok!! it's all about trial and error, wouldn't love be boring if everything were really easy and compatible?

but take these dates as lessons rather than punishments. you can laugh about these dates with your friends and use them as funny anecdotes, but don't take them as proof that you're dying alone (you are not, you're so good). whenever something bad happens on a date, i just take a mental note of it and then remind myself to bring it up with my friends later so we can cackle about it

third, there's usually some form of unspoken date etiquette but said etiquette really just depends on the person. i'm the kind of person who likes 2-3 days of texting before being asked out but there are some people who think that's too much texting! so just do what makes you feel comfortable

fourth, practice makes perfect. the more dates you go on, the more comfortable you usually get with your sense of self and what you're looking for. in my experience, you don't really know what you want in a relationship until you're actually in one - the same goes for dating. you don't know what's your perfect date or what's your WORST date until you're in it. it's trial and error! it's fun! it's dating!

hope this helps anon!! good luck <3 (for hinge, i would just recommend swiping through and sending likes to people for the first few days but i also get lazy and just let people like me and then i scroll through those)

and then specifically for you - i would say it takes a lot of patience!! people are super picky on hinge (like Extremely Picky - maybe this is because i'm one of those people) and they often don't accept a lot of likes or make a lot of matches because that's just how hinge works. like hinge is the place where you don't make a ton of matches but when you do, they're usually more meaningful!!

[udo0stories]

– The thing that drew me to early retirement is freedom, and that’s still the best part of it.  Back in 2005, the primary reason for this freedom-seeking was being able to devote my best hours to being a dad. I had a feeling my career in tech would be too demanding to sustain once the full-time job of raising children kicked in. Eighteen years later, wow, has that guess ever turned out to be right? Early retirement has proved to be the most amazing and worthwhile adventure, and it’s still just getting started. I wrote to you an amazing thirteen years ago, when Little MM was just starting kindergarten. Now, he has graduated from high school. I have been able to take advantage of a lot of new experiences, work hard and play hard when needed, and slow down when needed to overcome some true challenges and develop as a person. ow, with that chNow that the parenting phase is finally almost over, I am using some of those Freedom Chips to make a really big change: I am spending the winter in a warm, sunny place to try out a new life in Culdesac Tempe, the walkable, bikeable, car-free community you have probably heard me talk about a lot in the past.r, I’So, on December 1st, I will be loading up the Model Y with my best mountain bike and all the necessities for the incredible road trip across the mountains, along with tools and gadgets. ming Colorado winter. And my son will be joining me for the trip! Looking for updates? I have added a separate tracker page here. Heading West… We’ve booked ourselves a spacious two-bedroom apartment there for four full months. Little MM will be roughly alternating his months between Arizona and Colorado so he can still have time with both parents, while I’ll be there the whole time.  A big part of the fun is that this will force me to invent a whole new life for myself, away from the easy comforts of the big community and plentiful construction sites that keep me so busy here.  It will be both a big change and a significant challenge, which is exactly what all of us need on a regular basis to keep life full of meaning and joy.  So, what are you going to do in Arizona? I look forward to replacing this with a real Arizona mountain biking picture I will be taking soon. The exact details are still in the works, and I’d love to hear your ideas and feedback (see the “get in touch” note below). But here’s what I’ve got so far: Meet as many new people as possible and answer the burning question we all have: what kind of people choose to move to a car-free neighborhood in the center of a super-car-based metropolis? And, of course, hang out with existing friends who live in the area. Did you know our own Coverage Critic (aka Chris Smith) already lives in Culdesac? Share some of the experiences, whether good or bad, here on MMM and on places like Twitter and Instagram so you can live vicariously through this experience. Use my newly liberated extra free time to visit their kickass on-site gym to get in extra good shape.  Use more of that free time to write more blog posts and sweep some of the cobwebs off of this neglected online persona of mine. Look at the weather app on my phone periodically to cackle at the blizzards I’m missing in Colorado and celebrate my good fortune in comparison (the typical “winter” day in Tempe is typically in the mid-70s, which means sandals and palm trees and outdoor dining the whole time) Host a few meetups in Culdesac’s outdoor plazas, like we did last March Start a quirky free handyman business where I help new residents set up their IKEA furniture, move heavy stuff, and hang paintings, as a combo of meeting people, being useful, and exercising my compulsion to build stuff. Ride bikes! A lot. Explore the distant corners of the Phoenix metro area and the surrounding desert valley and mountain trails on mountain bikes, regular bikes, and the e-bike that comes included with the first 200 Culdesac apartments. And perhaps most importantly, help my almost-adult son get all sorts

of new experiences during his visits by living in a brand new city for the first time since he was born, way back in the same era as my own early retirement. One of Culdesac’s main “parking lots”, adjoining a restaurant patio My future gym (sAlright, you have caugThis is another instance where There is a reason other than simply journaling my personal life that I am going to go to the trouble of typing shit into the computer and sharing it with you.other than just journaling my own personal life, and this is another one of those cases.  First of all, there are the first-layer selfish goals: I want to have the best winter ever, meet a bunch of smart new people, and I also want Culdesac to be a huge success so they will build more neighborhoods like this around the country and set an example that permanently improves the way US cities build and expand themselves in the future. Much Better than Parking Lots But even if you don’t care about all that, I also want to use this as a little statement about trying to make deliberate life changes. By throwing myself into a new community that aligns so nicely with my own values, I hope to serve as a reminder that maybe you might want to try the same thing. Or just try anything new. In a comfortable, prosperous country like ours, some of the built-in tendencies of Human nature tend to work against us, saying, “Hey – I’ve noticed we have plenty of food and reasonable shelter, and that’s good enough. So let’s just double down on Netflix, comfort foods, and occasional luxury purchases, and that will keep us safe.” Instead, I want you to set your life treadmill to just a bit of a steeper, healthier incline setting. That means questioning the status quo and doing your best to keep at least one little experiment on the go in the background. Maybe that means forcing yourself to move to a better place or taking steps towards getting a new job that gives you a better work-life balance. The biggest move I ever made was leaving family and friends and my old job behind to move to the US alone, at age 24. Looking back, I’m shocked I had the courage (and the organizational skills) to pull that off back then. I’ve become older, a bit slower, and so comfortable that it’s hard to imagine doing something so bold now. But even today, 24 years later, I thank my past self every single day for doing it. My present life is an incredibly different and better thing because of that past bit of courage. The spirit of positive experimentation might also mean starting to challenge your body more regularly, giving it harder work, and exposing it to a wider swath of temperatures and movements. Or joining new Meetup groups to expand your circle of friends and experiences.  It doesn’t really matter exactly what you do, as long as you point your feet in what feels like a good direction and just start moving. Create some purposeful change, which will surely feel a bit difficult simply because change is hard. And hard things are good.  Future Arizona Neighbors: I’ll see you in four weeks! Further reading: I’ve been reading books, doing life experiments, and writing about the value of strategic hardship for a while now. But the latest is a book called Dopamine Nation by a talented psychiatrist and author named Dr. Anna Lembke. To summarize, your brain creates a baseline for happiness based on the hardest thing you do and then compares everything else to that. So if you do hard things, life in general seems fantastic because of this perspective. If you eliminate all hardship, suddenly even the pleasures of life seem bland, and you live a spoiled and unmotivated life. To get in touch, send me a DM on Instagram or use the email address “newsletter” at the domain of this website. (Newsletter subscribers can also just reply to this post if you received it via email.) Interested in stopping by for your own mini-Culdesac experiment? They have a few short-term rentals available at rather reasonable rates (less than nearby hotels); check em out at book.culdesac.com

What will you do with your car? I’m bringing the car as a convenient electric moving truck to carry two people and four months of living supplies. Once I get there, I’ll find a safe place to park it offsite and live the full car-free lifestyle of Culdesac, much like I do when I’m here at home. I typically only use cars to carry really heavy stuff or for trips to other cities and states, but it’s even easier to accomplish this in Tempe with its location right on the light rail and with their onsite bike, scooter, and even car sharing lots. What about your house? My place in Colorado is currently set up as a two-bedroom house on the main floor plus an apartment with a separate entrance on the walkout lower level. When I’m at home, I use the whole thing as one home—the apartment just makes a great place to host a fairly constant stream of visiting friends. But for the winter, I’m hoping to rent out one of these spaces to a friend or trusted acquaintance who will take good care of everything, while I leave the other section free for the occasional visits I’ll be paying to this area over the winter. Aside from keeping an eye on the place, it will be a great way to practice the age-old Mustachian technique of making money while taking vacations! What Happens at the End of March? As it stands, I have no plans beyond this point. I’ll head back to Colorado for my home base, but with this being a new phase of life, I’ll be layering on new adventures. Aside from the two mountain properties that I’ve been helping to build out, I just teamed up with a friend to help him create an intentional (and somewhat experimental!) living community in Denver called Wild Life Ranch.  We’ll have to cover more of that in a future article, but the basic idea is that he is converting a 13-acre former horse ranch in a relatively prime part of the Denver area into a future village of higher-end tiny houses and other dwellings. These will be arranged around nice common amenities with a big emphasis on people actually enjoying the process of living together, as opposed to just living side-by-side as we tend to do in normal neighborhoods.