#going mostly offline for the coming hours

[ganondoodle]

now that im off work, im just gonna say .. no

im not believing it for the next few days, until then i refuse to accept that things can only ever get worse, i dont want a world where it only ever gets worse, i have just been getting a grip at one of the worst relapses of depression of my life, i cant just let go and play into the doomerism that plagues everything enough already.

[bitegore]

Odd to me that the whole "x trans group has it worse, actually" people seem to both be really optimistic about how cissexual cisgender society views trans people of every stripe, just about different groups. Like they don't see any of us as one of them. There's still regular degular transphobia and its fucking everpresent for literally every trans person there is. There's no passing so successful that you opt out of society beong transphobic on literally any side.

[brooooswriting]

Hi would you write for a Leighton x reader where r forgets to take their adhd meds and they get really overwhelmed and they just ‘disappear’ and nobody can find them and they’re just in Leighton’s bed trying to de stress, and the first place they thought of was leightons because they feel safe and calm with her?

Where were you?

Leighton was about to have a breakdown. She hasn't seen you for over 24 hours, and she hasn't heard from you for about 5 hours now, which wasn't normal. The last time she really heard from you was this morning when you texted her good morning, and since then, nothing. She didn't think anything about it since you would always join her and her roommates for lunch but you were a no-show.

So, she texted you, but nothing. She asked your friends and again nothing. And when no one could reach you and nobody found you, a bit of panic went loose in all your friends. While your friends and Leighton went crazy, you were quietly laying in a bed.

Leighton’s bed, to be exact. The covers were pulled up to your head as you soaked in the blonde’s smell, which lay atop you like a protective barrier. All the stress, negative thoughts, and feelings nearly disappeared. Yesterday, like the idiot you could be, you forgot to take your meds. You didn't really notice until suddenly every small thing started to annoy you and overwhelm you. The fact that you didn't know the reason for it made things even worse until you figured that you forgot your meds.

By now, Leighton, her friends and your friends were on a search mission for you. They knew how you could be and if you went offline in every sense that could mostly mean bad things. So, Leighton searched in your building complex and the gym, Kimberly was looking through the dining hall and the shops, Whitney was going to the donut shop close by and your friends were looking through some of the lecture halls. Bela decided to look for you in the library after getting a hoodie from her and Leightons room.

The girl stalked inside, typing on her phone as she slammed the door open. She hummed as she searched through her closet, grabbing a nice one and turning around just to let it fall when she saw someone in Leightons bed. “Leighton? I thought we are going to search y/n” she questioned as she stepped closer. “Leighton?” She pulled the covers back a bit just to see y/h/c and eyebrows that definitely didn’t belong to Leighton. “Y/n?” She mumbled to herself before sighing.

She exited the room with her phone in hand to let the others know. “Leight? I found her, she’s sleeping in your bed” she explained as she got an apple sauce from the mini fridge.

“You gotta be kidding me. I’m going to kill her” the blonde grumbled and hung up the phone making Bela giggle. Leighton was fuming, not because you were in her room but because you were sleeping in there peacefully while she was freaking out. The dorm room slammed open making her roommate flinch, “is she still in bed?”

“Yeah, she’s dead asleep I guess” she explained but was mostly ignored as Leighton was already slamming the door to their room open. Bela decided that she didn’t want to be a part of this so she left and told everybody that you were fine.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” She screamed as she pulled the blanket off of you, making you whine. You stuttered something out that wasn’t understandable. “Why are you just sleeping here?” She questioned as you carefully sat up, her relief that you were fine overwhelming her and making her miss your shaky hands and wet eyes.

“I- I am sorry. I didn’t think that you’d be mad about it. I mean you gave me the keys after all” you stuttered again and avoided any eye contact with the mad blonde. Her anger seemed to subside though as she started to see the weird way you were behaving and the tears in your eyes.

“Why did you come here?” Her voice was much softer this time, but she kept her distance as long as she didn’t know what was wrong. You scotched back against the headboard and pulled the blanket over you again.

“I forgot to take my meds and i didn’t even notice until I suddenly felt annoyed by everything and everyone and I started to have panic and anxiety and headaches and tantrums and I was so frustrated and normally I would have called you but the headaches made it impossible to look at my phone. So…” you hesitated to keep talking as Leighton sat next to you, her arm wrapped around you pulling you closer to give you comfort.

“So the first place you thought of was my bed?” Your head was laying on her shoulder which made you miss her smile when she said that. Trusting someone has never come easy to her but trusting you was like breathing, it came natural to her.

“I-yeah. I’m sorry if I overstepped, it’s just the thought of your perfume and all of this around me made me calm down already” you explained further playing with the fingers on her hand that wasn’t wrapped around you.

“Gosh, now I feel like an asshole. I love the fact that you thought of me first and felt comfortable coming here, I was just scared. Nobody had heard from you for over five hours and that is never good so I thought that maybe something had happened. I’m sorry I was so rude when I came inside” it was easy to know that she was telling the truth, her voice was so soft that it was impossible that she was lying.

“No, I get it. I would have been mad too. I’m sorry I didn’t text, it just slipped my mind” her arm squeezes you a bit tighter, which was her way of showing that she understood and was fine with it. You stayed in a comfortable silence for a moment before you noticed your headaches coming back, you often had them after feeling frustrated and overwhelmed. Your shifting was an obvious sign to the blonde by now.

“How are you now?” She questioned, looking down at you with a look that told you not to lie. It was smart, you would have tried to lie but she had a different kind of power over you.

“My head still hurts” you quietly confessed, looking down at the blanket that was covering your legs. Leighton sighs and leans over to get some medicine from next to her bed.

“Here take these and then turn over so I can cuddle you while we take another nap” she insisted, not leaving any space for arguments which, again, was smart. It was rather early in the day and you knew she still had classes.

You mumbled a thank you, took the pill and turned on your side facing away from the blonde so she could hug you from behind. The light was quickly turned off and a text was shot to her roommates to be quiet when they came home. “Leighton?”

“Yes love?”

“Thank you for caring” you weren’t quite at the ‘I love you’ mark yet, so this was the best you could do. You had both shown how much you loved each other throughout the day; you could only think of her during your worst moments and she would have torn down the campus to find you.

“Thank you for feeling safe with me” she pressed a kiss to your head and pulled you closer before you both drifted off to sleep.

[atinylittlepain]

Little Pinch

nurse!marcus pike x f!reader

she needs to get bloodwork done. one small problem, getting bloodwork done never goes well for her, especially not when she's distracted by the very kind, very handsome nurse doing it.

wordcount | 3.3K

content info | 18+ discussions of getting bloodwork that includes needles, fainting, nausea, mostly fluff, nurse marcus to the rescue, this is just a fun time, also an un-beta'd time so like, be nice pls

a/n | shoutout to the girls (gn) that pass out every time they get blood work done (me). I have to get new labs tomorrow morning, and writing this is how I coped with that prospect :') this one is for the fainters, the thin veiners, the "just do it in my hand"-ers - i see you, i am you, gawd bless

..........................................................................

Here’s the thing, this never goes well. It wasn’t always like this though. She has a vague memory of being a kid and taking it like a perfect champ, testing for mono after a rash of cases at school. But then, well, something changed. 

It runs in her family. Thin veins that are hard for even the best nurses to find, lots of oh, I just lost it, and well, let’s try your other arm, and always, ultimately, hands? Should we try the hands? No, the nurses never listen when she tells them to just start with the hands, and without fail, somewhere around the third or fourth time they try to get the needle in, a cold sweat breaks, and the room starts to filter through a fuzzy pinhole of vision. It’s embarrassing, she thinks, because, really, she has no problem with needles. Can watch it go in, no issues with piercings, et cetera, et cetera, but getting blood drawn? Yeah, forget about it. She usually comes to with paperwork around her feet that she had been holding, and a well-meaning nurse pressing a damp paper towel to her forehead and breathing the remnants of her lunch over her face and alright, hon? Usually a box of apple juice and an escort out to her car to make sure she doesn’t go offline again. 

The other thing is, unfortunately, she’s pretty sure her little fainting, fading thing has gotten worse over the years. A conditioned response, she thinks, that cold sweat starts the second she walks into the waiting room, already anticipating what comes next. And today, well, even worse than some of the others. Twelve hours fasted, and no, that certainly won’t help her case, no matter how much water she downed before she came here, no matter how tight she squeezes her fist in the hopes of pumping even one vein up enough to be tenable. She looks at the woman sitting across from her in the waiting room, reading a back-ordered issue of Cosmo, flipping and flippant and really, why can’t she be like that? Why can’t she be normal like that? Instead, her heel is doing a frantic tap, whole leg jerking with it, and everytime she checks her watch she feels her heart creep a little further up into her throat. 

If she’s being honest, she thought about canceling her labs. No, doc, all good, doc, don’t need to know, doc. And then a friend pointed out, frustratingly, that avoidance is only going to make it worse. Right, so, right, so right, so, here she is. And here’s the nurse opening the door and right, calling her name, and it’s a man nurse, male nurse, though she’s pretty sure she’s not being PC by making that specification in her mind because really, twenty-first century, and really, anyone can be a nurse. But not anyone, right? Lots of schooling, right? Right. She realizes a bit too late that she hadn’t responded to the nurse calling her name, jerking up out of her chair and trying for a smile that she thinks probably looks more like constipation. And that’s just great because now man nurse, sorry, just nurse, probably thinks she’s constipated and she’d rather not have the, actually, very handsome, just nurse, thinking that on top of whatever she’s got going on that necessitates lab work she also can’t take a shit. Right. 

“We’re going to be in this room right here.” Handsome just nurse has a nice voice too, deep but kind, and a strong jawline, and a patchy beard but she likes that it’s patchy, and he’s tan and he’s got one of those big watches that tells you how hard your heart was beating on your run and he probably runs in the afternoon after clocking out of the needle-in-arms gig and that’s probably why he’s so tan, probably has a golden retriever who runs with him too, because he looks like a golden retriever guy, dark flop of wavy hair and that smile and oh, oh, he just asked her a question and now she’s supposed to answer it. 

“I’m sorry, could you say that again?” He smiles, nods, being nice, at least, about her whole scared prey animal situation. She presses her palm down hard on her knee to keep it from bouncing any more. 

“It says on this order that these labs need to be taken fasted. Can you confirm to me that you haven’t had anything to eat or drink besides water in the last twelve hours?” Oh yes, yep, she can confirm that for you, Marcus, his name is Marcus, says so on his little lanyard badge. Thanks for the easy one, Marcus, pitch right down the middle, Marcus, with your nice smile and your clipboard and your, well, needles and tubes. But before he can get started with his, well, needles and tubes, she makes a strangled, sort of despondent sound because in situations like these, she comes with a warning label. 

“I should let you know I have, um, bad veins? Honestly, you can just start with my hands, I don’t mind it. And also, I’m a fainter, yeah, so, it happens every time, just so you know.” And usually, usually, her spiel is given very little notice, mmmokay, hon. Sure, they’ll lay her back, how merciful, so she doesn’t crack her skull open on the way out of conscious orbit. That’s about it, though. But this time, she thinks, might just be different.

“Okay, thank you for giving me the heads up. If you’re sure you’re alright with starting with the hands then it’s fine by me to get it done that way.” So, so fine, Marcus, and maybe, just maybe, she thinks she might not pass out this time. He sets the exam table at a reclined angle and she wills her rigid spine to settle against it, trying to find the balance between breathing so deeply she starts to get light headed, and not breathing at all. In case you were wondering, yes, she is on medication for anxiety, it just doesn’t seem to presently be working. 

“Just gonna feel around a bit here for a good one.” She only feels a little insane for the kick and clench in her heart when he takes her one hand in both of his, because he’s just palpating the back of her hand to find, as he said, a good one. Yes, the word for it is palpating, and there is certainly nothing romantic nor, hello, sexual about anything that’s called palpating. But, hey, taking wins where she can get them, and even through the latex gloves, his hands are warm and big and very know what they’re doing about the whole thing. And she’s no expert, obviously, but he’s got a very nice, very visible vein in his forearm, and she bets phlebotomists love him, bets that when he gets blood drawn, he’s in and out no problem, bets that even she could draw blood from him. Nope, nothing sexual about that, nothing weird about that, right? Right. Nothing sexual either, when he ties off the tight band around her arm and she watches his one bicep flex a little with the effort. 

“I can count you down, or you can look away and I’ll just get it done, whichever you prefer.”

“Uh, no preference, I’ll just look away and you can do whatever you want to me.” Jesus. Jesus fucking Christ. She realizes exactly what she just said a bit too late, him, Marcus, nice nurse Marcus, letting out a laugh that fizzles out into a cough. Great, now she’s made her fucking phlebotomist uncomfortable, possibly one of the last people you want to make uncomfortable. But if that, whatever that was, lingers, he doesn’t show it, already swiping an antiseptic wipe over the back of her hand and pulling his little cart of tubes closer to himself. And she knows this part, she’s good at this part, letting her eyes sweep up and to the right, because he’s on her left, and willing whatever vein he decided is a good one to stay a good one. Little pinch, little prayer, she lets out a held breath when he says a quiet alright and keeps the needle exactly where it is. Hallelujah.

“This might take a little longer, just because we’re drawing from your hand.”

“I’ll bleed as fast as I can then.” At the very least, he laughs, even though she wishes she had kept that one to herself. 

“Do you live around here?”

“What kind of question is that?”

“Sorry, I’m trying to distract you.” 

“Didn’t they teach you how to do that in like, phlebotomy school?” She still has her eyes turned up and away, only a little wince when he switches out one tube for another. He hums at her question.

“Not really, I could ask you about the weather, is that better?” 

“It’s cloudy. Not much of a conversation starter.” 

“Well, why don’t you ask me something, since you’re such an expert on starting conversations.”

“Do you have a golden retriever?”

“What?”

“Sorry, you just, you look like the kind of guy who’d have a golden retriever.” Another tube clicks into place, but she’s not paying any attention to that now. 

“Uh, no, no golden retriever. I do however have a very old, very deaf pit mix named Lucille.” Goddamnit, somehow that’s hotter than the golden retriever. 

“Great name.”

“Yeah, I thought so too. She came with it when I adopted her.” God. Fucking. Damn it. What next, is he a volunteer firefighter on the weekends?

“Alright, that’s the last one.”

“Wait, really?” She chances a skittish glance but, sure enough, the needle is out.

“Yep, just let me get a band-aid for you and you’re all set.” Is he? Is she? Really? Going to make it out of here with no blackout? She considers, very briefly, as Marcus is smoothing a band-aid over the back of her hand, whether it’s possible to put a phlebotomist on retainer. 

“If you want to sit for a minute and make sure you’re feeling alright before getting up that’s totally fine. I can also get you water or juice if you’re getting lightheaded.” 

“Oh, no, I’m fine actually. Which, hey, thanks for not making me faint and stuff– that’s a first for me in a very long–” Oh, oh, stops herself mid-compliment because oh, oh, maybe stood up too fast, because the room is going a little dark, a little sideways, cold prickle and nauseous and–

“Easy, easy, I’m gonna help you sit up, okay?” His voice is a little fuzzy around the edges. To be honest, he’s a little fuzzy around the edges, though she knows right away what happened. No, not her first rodeo, like she blinked and then came to in a strange sprawl on the end of the exam table. Marcus presents a dixie cup to her, holds it right in her line of sight because clearly, she’s still a little slumped, still a little vacant, and a little warm, actually, which is new, and a little pleasant, and, oh, it’s because his arm is curled around her shoulders, firm palm held there to help her sit up. Oh. He smells like clorox and something woodsy, and it shouldn’t, but it kind of works. 

“You feeling okay?”

“Mmmhmm.” She’s afraid of what might come out of her mouth if she doesn’t keep her lips pressed in a thin line, mmhmms again when he asks if she can sit up on her own, only a little despondent when he takes his arm away. 

“So, you really weren’t kidding about that happening every time, huh?” 

“Nope, wish I was. It’s– I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?”

“That you had to deal with that.”

“You don’t have to be sorry about that, it’s part of the job. And actually, you fainted about as perfectly as I could’ve asked you to.”

“I didn’t know you could faint like, well.” 

“Right before you went down you said I’m gonna faint. That’s a lot better than getting no heads up and turning around to find my patient unresponsive on the ground.” 

“Oh gee, I bet you say that to all your patients.” Lord, if there was ever a time to put her out of her misery it’d be now. She probably still looks green from her little trip to outer space but sure, flirt with Marcus, handsome nurse Marcus who just watched you absolutely eat it. Kick your feet and bat your eyelashes while you’re at it. 

“I take it you’re feeling better then? Are you okay to walk out to the front desk?” And the rest is, mercifully, easy. He walks her to the front desk, squeezes her shoulder and gives her a good job today that she likes a little too much. She makes a mental note to herself to never come back to this clinic for any future bloodwork, lest she make a fool of herself all over again in front of a man who, with any luck, she will never see again. 

…

“Yes, this is she speaking.” This is she speaking in the middle of the cereal aisle with a half-filled grocery basket at her feet. She sets her gaze on a hyper-realized image of a granola cluster (now with real strawberries!) while the woman on the other end of the phone tells her that her lab results came in and were sent over to her doctor. 

“Oh, great, thank you for letting me know. Do you know– did things look okay?” 

“We don’t interpret the results, ma’am. Your doctor will go over that with you.” She doesn’t quite catch that, doesn’t catch the woman’s ma’am? either, a little preoccupied with staring down the aisle, because is that? Is he? He looks good out of the scrubs. 

“Ma’am?”

“Sorry, no, um, of course. Thanks again.” If the woman had anything else to tell her, it’s a little too late for it, already hung up, and she’s trying to decide if she wants him to see her, or if fleeing immediately is the best course of action. He probably wouldn’t even recognize her, she thinks. It’s been a couple of weeks since the whole ordeal. And actually, she’d prefer if he didn’t recognize her. Oh yeah, the one who, well, ate it. But it seems the choice has already been made for her, because he saw her, walking down the aisle toward her, with his chin tilted down and part of a smile like he isn’t sure, but he’s pretty sure. He says her name like a question. Guilty as charged.

“Marcus, right?” Like she forgot his name, ha. His smile stretches, a little brighter, palm to the nape of his neck, and while she got the golden retriever part wrong, she totally clocked the rest, watch on his wrist and nice-looking athletic shorts and just-right-tight t-shirt with the little swoosh on the chest. She thinks his hair might even be a little sweat-damp, curled ends nearly getting in his eyes. In other words, she’s a goner. 

“How have you been since we– you, well–”

“Since I passed out on you?” Yeah, that, he laughs out and yeah, she likes him, sue her. 

“Just for the record, I believe it was you who said I passed out perfectly, so.” Shrug, so, he takes a step closer, leans in a little like he’s going to tell her a secret. In the cereal aisle, of all places. 

“Just for the record, I really don’t say that to all my patients.”

“No?”

“Nope, just the nervous, pretty ones.”

“I was not nervous.”

“You weren’t?”

“Nope.”

“Are you just gonna blow past the other thing?”

“What thing?”

“The pretty thing.”

“Yep.” Something a little giddy, like being back in high school, shared, shit-eating and smug grins. He shakes his head and she rolls her lips back in her mouth to stop her smile from getting any cheesier. 

“So, you do live around here then?” 

“Mm, yeah, I do. And so do you?”

“I do.”

“Nice, nice.”

“Lovely weather we’re having.”

“Wow.” 

“What? I’m making conversation.”

“You’re still not very good at it.”

“I’ll keep working on it for you.”

“Sure, okay. What kind of cereal do you get?”

“What kind do you think I get?”

“You look like a Kashi guy, if I’m honest.”

“Somehow I feel insulted.”

“Well.”

“You’re not even right either.” 

“No? What do you get then?” He just smiles, steps away and reaches up to the top of the shelf and she is very grateful to General Mills for being located on the top shelf because his shirt rides up just enough to see a bare hip. In cheerios we trust. 

“Apple cinnamon, seriously?”

“What? It’s a classic.”

“Actually, you know what, that tracks.” 

“What do you get?” She waggles her basket in front of him in response, goods already procured. 

“Peanut butter chex, respectable choice.”

“Thank you, thank you.” 

“You know, I’d say we’re pretty good at this conversation thing.”

“Yeah, we’re not bad.”

“Do you want to do this again sometime? Not in the cereal aisle?”

“What, you mean like in the produce section?” He smiles at that, rolls his eyes, his basket lightly bonking against hers. 

“I was thinking more like dinner, or drinks if that’s your thing?” 

“I might be free on Saturday.”

“I might also be free on Saturday.” 

“Well, sounds like we’re both free on Saturday.”

“Can I get your number?” His lockscreen is a picture of a dog. Lucille, he tells her, before she was very old and very deaf. She can’t help how big her smile gets at that. 

“Text me, and we’ll do this whole conversation thing again.” I will, he says, phone tucked back into his pocket, though he seems to think twice before asking her can I see something really quick. Not entirely sure what he means when she nods, but then his hand sort of hovers over her forearm, may I? He really does have nice hands, she doesn’t think twice about nodding again. 

“Oh yeah, we didn’t have to use your hand. I could have totally gotten it from here.” His hand curled around her elbow and his thumb lightly pressing into what she can only assume is a vein, and he says it so earnestly that she can’t help the incredulous laugh that rises up in her chest. 

“Really? You’re still stuck on that, huh?” He smiles something sheepish, pad of his thumb rubbing an apology into her skin before pulling away. She didn’t really want him to pull away.

“Sorry, occupational hazard, I guess.” 

“Kinda weird, you know.”

“Did I just ruin this whole thing?”

“Mmm, no, I kinda like it.”

“So, Saturday?”

“Looking forward to it, Marcus.” 

[dreamlifebunny]

bunny's ✨digital detox✨ + manifestation challenge!

hi friends! i've decided to do a little "dopamine detox" so that i can become more present in my day-to-day, connect with myself and my passions, and apply the law. instead of leaving you without any posts, i thought i would turn this short absence of mine into a challenge so that you can join me if you're interested! this is going to be a very simple challenge that mostly focuses on regaining joy in your life, but i hope it can bring you inspiration and peace.

purpose of challenge: to help your brain enjoy simple things again and fill your life with more joy, to get off of social media and apply the law, and to manifest anything you desire. as you can see, this is mostly a challenge to reconnect with ourselves and what brings us joy, but manifestation is the added bonus of this challenge!

step one:

delete or hide apps on your phone or laptop that involve mindless stimulation. for me, this includes tumblr, social media, checking things that give me notifications like my email, etc. normally, tumblr wouldn't be included in this because i use it for learning about the law, but part of this challenge is about getting offline and actually applying the law, so for now i will be deleting it.

step two:

make a list of activities that bring you joy that don't involve mindless stimulation. here are some ideas of things that i like to do if you're having trouble coming up with your own list:

scripting my dream life and coming up with cute scenarios in my head

writing a letter to a friend and decorating it with my own art or stickers

reading a fiction book and getting lost in the story

reading a non-fiction book to learn things about my passions and interests

singing and playing instruments

journaling or filling out writing prompts

going for bike rides or long walks with music

playing fun video games, but not for hours on end like i normally would heh

step three:

decide what you are going to manifest and choose your favourite methods to fulfill yourself! remember, this challenge is about connecting with yourself and what you love, so pick the methods that make you smile. i really enjoy daydreaming about my desires and feeling every emotion in my body that comes up and knowing that my desire is real.

REMEMBER: this challenge is primarily about doing a digital detox to give our brains more happiness. the main goal isn't to manifest, but it is SO much easier to manifest when our brains aren't constantly stimulated and consuming information. our desires manifesting is an added bonus for this challenge!

step four:

as you engage with your life and connect with awareness (who you are at your core) and as you enjoy activities that bring you joy, remind yourself in whatever way feels best to you that you have all of your desires, and that this extra space you're giving your brain is allowing more space for your lovely desires to show up in your life

step five:

report back during the end of any three-day period from when you start this challenge with your results! results could include how you feel, what you learned about yourself, what you manifested or realized about your manifestation, how your days looked without constantly stimulation, or anything you wish to share!

important note:

detoxing from constant stimulation is a HARD THING TO DO! they design apps to make us addicted, and your need for constant stimulation is not your fault. if at any point this challenge brings up feelings of shame or struggle due to the addiction of constant stimulation, make sure you are compassionate and loving to yourself; you're doing a wonderful thing as a gift to yourself and are a good person who is doing something very tricky, and you should be proud that you are even giving it a try. you are strong and badass and deserve the world and all of your desires! if at any point you need to dip out of this challenge, make sure to pat yourself on the back and thank yourself for trying it and know that you can always do it again in the future if you want to c:

love you friends! i am so excited to see the results of this challenge. i am proud of you, i am inspired by you, and i can't wait to see you all soon! ��

lots of love, bunny 💕

[auroreliis]

Introduction!!!

Hiii :D I'm Aurora, but most people call me Rorii!! I use she/her pronouns!!!

First of all, I recommend staying away from my page if you're under 16. Perhaps not all of my posts include 18+ topics, but some do and I really, REALLY don't want anyone under 16 interracting with my content (I'm also quitte iffy about people under 18 viewing my content, but I suppose I can't really stop you if you think that you can handle it...).

I need to clarify that English is not my mother tongue, so please forgive any errors :')

I mainly use this blog to share my thoughts and ideas!!! BUT I am veryyyy insistent on making sure that my posts are correct (okayyyy I may not always succeed, but still), so I might take a bit longer to post simply because I'm making sure that everything makes sense ;D

Other times, I will be offline for weeks at a time, because I have no inspiration :'(

That being said, I try my best, but my schedule is all over the place...sorry <3

Some more info about me!! My favourite band ever are Arctic Monkeys <3 Also, I am a bit of a yapper, so hopefully I will be forgiven if I ever go on and on about something <3 Also also, purple and red are my favourite colours!!!

I easily hyperfixate on things (and I bet you can't guess what it is now...)

I often play video games when I am free and my favourite ones EVER are Little Nightmares and Hitman!! Though Fields of Mistria and Stardew Valley might as well be on the list too.

When I am not playing video games, then I am watching hour-long video essays <3

I often read books before going to bed, mostly classics, but not exclusively <3

Oh also! Sleeping is my favourite way to pass time :)

My Ask-Box is always open!!! (And I swear, I try my best to answer everything :')...)

If you did send an ask and haven't recieved a reply yet, it's likely because I have not enough inspiration to make a good post about your ask. However, as soon as inspiration strikes me, I will write and write and write!!!

Frequently asked Questions!!!!

Q: What fandoms do you write for? A: Any fandom that I am currently interested in, so feel free to request and recommend me various media that you would like to see from me...however, DC has had a lot of power over me lately...

Q: Is there any topic you won't write about? A: A few come to mind, like extreme kinks and fetishes (age play, scat/pee/vomit play, non-con, etc.). However, if it is anything super niche or specific, feel free to ask me!

Q: Do you have any side blogs or other socials? A: For now, I have no side blogs, however, I have a secret AO3 account!! Let me know if you think you've found it ;D

Masterlist!!!

Yes, I finally have a masterlist. I've tried to compile EVERYTHING on here and will try to update regularly:

Masterlist

That would be all for now :)

Thanks for reading this <3

[shinesurge]

I think it's a side effect of having a slightly bigger audience than before, but this year I've been getting a LOT of questions about offering digital editions of the KC books so I wanted to talk about it out loud for a bit.

There are a bunch of complicated reasons I've never offered the volumes as digital downloads, and I think they mostly boil down to concerns about the pretty embarrassing lack of significant internet presence Kidd Commander has accumulated over the 11 years it's been running. The audience I DO have is very enthusiastic, and let me be clear that I appreciate how unique and cool that is, especially in the era we're in where I really have no business running things the way I do lmao

The problem is, in refusing to do any of the predatory social media bullshit that tricks people into doing advertising for my comic while pretending it's a fandom, and by taking initiative to build fandom spaces for people to hang out in myself, I've created an extremely insular community where folks don't really feel any need to help it grow. "If you build it they'll come" is true, but the other half of that is people going "hey neat this thing builds itself!" and you end up with dozens of fandom posts, hours of discussion, and even fanwork locked away in inaccessible spaces while the pages on the site consistently get no comments or interaction and the public tags are empty.

WHAT does this have to do with digital editions lol

The idea was, a thing that helps set KC apart is the webcomic thing where you're not only checking a site regularly as a routine, but you're building some impression of the author as well. My little news posts are bundled with the pages, the site gives a sense of Environment in way static editions don't. In return for offering nearly a thousand pages of completely free content the reader has to Encounter Me at some point, and be made aware that this is an operation being run by a single person, and that its survival is entirely dependent on other people reading it and supporting it. Going to the site ALSO at least lets people know a comment section /exists/, and there COULD be a community to participate in. You don't get that with the books as much, but the books are almost exclusively going to folks who already read the comic, I don't think they're floating around out there to many people who didn't buy them directly from me after reading it online.

It is objectively easier for people to binge an archive they can carry around offline with them, I completely get it. But I've watched SO many new readers fall in love with this thing in real time as they leave comments behind them through the archive, and even just forming the habit of checking the site regularly really goes a long way towards forming enough of a connection with a reader for them to stick around for the long haul. If you just read it all isolated on your phone, it stops there; it's easy to forget it's an independent operation that desperately needs your support, /I/ have no idea whether you liked it or if people are even reading, and when you're finished you'll move on to something else because there's no visible fandom to engage with.

I don't WANT to think this is what will happen, but it's already been happening here for years even without proper channels. I sort of feel like this would just be facilitating my own demise lmao. All the comics who run the way I do were ALREADY popular back before the landscape shifted to fast-fashion sensibilities, so Girl Genius offering digital editions doesn't really harm them, you know? By the time forums died their community was already so stable and self-sufficient they could quit updating the main story for a whole year and not even feel it. Gunnerkrigg is signed on with fuckin Dark Horse now. People doing the things KC does got in early and stabilized before I even got started, fandom is a different world now and I'm already barely keeping this train running on my own as it is.

But on the other hand: accessibility!! HOW many times have I wanted to engage with something but they WONT LET ME PAY THEM FOR THE THING I WANT so I just leave!! The alternative here isn't "oh if i FORCE THEM to read it online they'll stick around" it's "if i can't read it how i want then i'm skipping it". That makes total sense, /I/ do that! What about people who want the extra content in the books but can't pay international fucking shipping!! It's also an Archival issue, which absolutely kills me, but that's a whole other post lmao. There are extremely good reasons to offer another option for reading my work, but I am so anxious this would just be putting a nail in this stupid coffin I've been building already.

I've been having this conversation a lot, mostly with Lee, but it came up again this morning in an email and regardless of my own feelings: this is a thing people want, a very reasonable thing, and if I fail to provide it that's just bad business. Do y'all here have any thoughts about all this? I would like to give the people what they want and y'all are The People.

Anyway buried way down here so far I'll make another post about it: I /am/ going to offer the specials as digital downloads, permanently in the shop. They're old books by now, I'm having issues keeping them in stock anyway, and they DON'T exist online anywhere, so this isn't technically any skin off my back outside of piracy issues, which. would be a stupid thing to fret about lmao

thanks for reading all this! I'm gonna go sort through pdfs for a while

[demonic0angel]

Happy Halloween! The Mad Scientist one-shot is out! Read it here on AO3 or here

CW: kinda descriptive depictions of guts and intestines, autopsies, unreliable narrator, outside POV

Bruce had noticed that Jason had been acting suspiciously for the past few months. Although it could've been attributed to an improved mood, it was just very suspicious how abrupt the changes were. Every once in a while, he would come to the Manor with almost a skip in his step and a twinkle in his eye. Maybe it was something else, but every time, a part of his personality changed and resembled something closer to... how he used to be.

Bruce was extremely worried but he didn't dare voice it. The last few times he did, he had earned all of his children's ire as well as Alfred's, who had scolded him for several hours before letting him go, citing that he was a paranoid boor that couldn't appreciate it when his children came home.

Which wasn't true!

But Bruce was undeniably paranoid and he was extremely worried that something had occurred with Jason, because the changes were just too weird.

He once couldn't stand even standing in the same room as Damian or Timothy, and now he was acting as a mediator between their fights, replacing Dick, and he was even gleefully bringing them around on his bike to have fun.

Before, he would have never read books in the library like he had used to, but now he would sit within the study with a book and lounge on the couch, even occasionally entertaining company or reading aloud to Cass.

He also wouldn't have helped around in the kitchen or linger in the Manor like when he used to live there with Bruce, but now he visited frequently and often enough that there was a consistent plate and seating arrangement for him when dinner arrived.

Bruce couldn't help but feel like it was strange.

Jason's temper had smoothed unnaturally and his mercurial moods had calmed without any fuss. The green within his eyes had mostly faded, only showing his usual stormy blue eyes.

It was... anticlimactic? In a way?

Bruce didn't know what he expected, but anytime he voiced his suspicions out loud, his family would stare at him like he grew several different heads and said heads all looked like the Justice League.

Like now, for example.

Dick stared at him with a judgmental look as Bruce futilely tried to explain his thoughts.

"Bruce." Dick said in a final tone, after Bruce tried to persuade him to hear him out. "Usually, you have reasons to worry. But we've already talked about this. Jason is happy. We already checked the first few times when you were worried and we confirmed his identity. It's him. He's doing better. So drop it, B."

Then he left with a bit of a huff.

Disgruntled, Bruce sat himself down in front of the Batcomputer and began to write his report of last night's patrol.

He was making progress when suddenly, there was a crackle on the comms and a small screen popped up. Barbara appeared, looking tired and exasperated.

"You wanted to know when Jason goes offline, right?"

".... Yes." For a moment, he desperately wanted to be less anxious for once and to be able to enjoy the pleasant change of his second oldest son. But he couldn't. As a hero, as a protector of his family and city, he needed to be ready for any and all threats.

Even if... the enemy was one of his too.

Barbara hummed. "His comms just went offline just a moment ago. He was stabbed though. That's why I decided to contact you. He was stabbed several times by an assailant before he incapacitated them, but now his comms are off and I can't reach him." She sent him the location.

Bruce immediately stood up and raced off into his Batmobile without a moment's hesitation. He trusted Barbara to inform the others if this was a trap.

When he reached the last location where Jason's location had pinged, Jason was still there. He was sitting up on the ground, his helmet still on and still bleeding. He was half hidden in shadow, and Bruce was almost about to reach him when he could hear the clicking of heels.

Immediately, he slid back into the shadows himself, cursing the fact that he couldn't retrieve Jason and bring him to safety.

A tall woman walked towards Jason, a clean white lab coat around her while she wore all black underneath. Her hair, though almost unseeable in the darkness, glinted red and was pulled up into a messy bun secured with a bandana. She stopped in front of Jason and before Bruce could stop her, she crouched down and swept him up in a bridal carry. Even with heels on, she didn't stumble when holding Jason, and she swiftly turned around and began walking away.

Bruce didn't dare attack, worried that Jason would get hurt further and decided that he would follow and see what happened.

The woman walked for a long while, before finally ending up at a warehouse. This specific warehouse belonged to Vlad Masters, one of the new investors in town, but she familiarly held a key to the door and opened it with one hand, adjusting Jason so he was held to her chest like a baby.

Bruce burned with the urge to snatch him away but he could only grit his teeth and bear it.

The woman walked inside and Bruce followed quickly, where he was lead to a secret door that was the entrance to an underground area. Bruce stealthily followed and was eventually met with the woman placing Jason down on an autopsy table in a dark area with only a single bright light, like a surgery room. Next to the cot was a table with a variety of different tools and bottles of various substances, some that he couldn't even identify.

In that moment, her appearance became clearer. She was a beautiful woman with bright red hair and blue green eyes, all set on a face that would've rivaled a demi-goddess'. Her expression held something like a manic glee within and she looked ever so slightly crazed, like she was moments away from falling to the floor and laughing or crying herself to death. Something about her just read off insanity, not dissimilar to the Joker or Jason when he was in one of his episodes.

Bruce had to focus back on her actions as his eyes widened.

Jason's head lolled and the woman somehow knew the way to take off the helmet, because it came off easily and without any explosions. She took off his mask too, by digging into his pockets for the glue dissolver. Next came Jason's gear and bodysuit, and then she was stripping him of almost all of his clothes. She left his underwear on, but Bruce's skin was already prickling at the vulnerability of his son and he itched desperately to grab him and get out of there. However, something seemed to be holding him back.

Bruce watched in vague horror and confusion as the woman turned to wash her hands thoroughly, and then turned back around to take a piece of alcohol wipe and rubbed it all over Jason's chest.

She hummed to herself softly, a pleased smile coming over her face as a frenzied delight came to her eyes. "So perfect," she muttered, sweeping her eyes over Jason's body appreciatively.

Bruce's heart dropped into his stomach as bile rushed up his throat.

The woman took a needle and inserted it into Jason's neck, injecting him with an unknown liquid. Jason's body relaxed and his expression slackened. Thankfully, he was still breathing in a steady manner, or Bruce probably would've broken his only rule at this very moment.

When the woman picked up a scalpel, she smoothly made a y-incision into his chest. Bruce barely held back a whimper.

Holding open the flaps of his skin with some tools, the woman peered inside of his chest cavity, still with a smile on her face. She began collecting blood samples before leisurely pressing down on and gingerly touching Jason's guts.

Bruce watched, completely and utterly frozen, only able to stare in disbelief and horror. This woman was absolutely playing around with Jason's body, cutting him open and messing around with his insides like they were toys. He didn't know how to feel anything but disgust, shock, and extreme alarm.

She hummed as she scraped off a piece of lung and then fixed it onto a slide, finding the microscope near her and turning it on to look into its eyepiece. She fiddled with the focus and then she observed the cells. She picked up a bottle filled with a green liquid next, and poured it into Jason's chest. The green, glowing liquid sluggishly oozed on his organs before they began to absorb at a rate visible to the eye.

A wider smile broke onto the woman's face. With the back of her hand, she petted Jason's hair and cooed, "Very good." She took a finger and poked through his rib cage to stroke his beating heart.

Bruce almost couldn't believe his eyes.

The woman continued on with her invasive procedure, poking and prodding at Jason's organs, scraping off bits of DNA to look under her microscope and occasionally sticking needles into Jason or pouring mysterious liquids inside of his chest cavity. It almost looked careless, but she wrote down observations the entire time and did it all so meticulously and familiarly that it made Bruce believe that this wasn't the first time this woman had experimented on his son's body and that this was a case study.

Jason, thankfully, didn't wake.

Somehow, with no medical equipment attached to him, he laid on the table with complete and utter stillness, as if whatever she was doing to him didn't register. It was as if he was asleep, as his breaths rose and fell calmly.

The woman was finally finished with her bizarre and disturbing experiment, and she stitched up the large cut before she turned him to his side, where various stab wounds laid, red and inflamed.

She clicked her tongue and muttered to herself, "I was careless this time," before taking more alcohol wipes and another vial of green liquid to wipe at the wound. Then she took her suturing tools to stitch him up again meticulously, each stitch straight and neat.

Jason shuddered this time, finally registering it but he still didn't wake. The woman adjusted him again and then moved herself to his head, adjusting the light as she did so. She checked all of his orifices and then took a saw.

Bruce's eyes widened and for the first time, he found himself able to move, almost calling out, "Stop!!" before something grabbed him and pulled him back.

The woman paused with the saw in her hands but didn't turn around. She just stood there in silence before she chuckled as Bruce struggled fiercely in vain from the things that captured him.

She continued on with the procedure, cutting open Jason's skull and then pulling out his brain. She carefully handed the gray organ with gentle hands, stroking its ridges with her thumbs affectionately like she was petting some sort of cat.

Jason was still breathing, even while missing the entire top half of his head.

Bruce gave a muffled scream. The thing that was holding him down grew tighter, clenching its grip.

He had to get to Jason! He couldn't lose him again!

He wanted to scream for him, but even his voice was failing.

The woman chuckled again, still not looking in his direction, but she seemed to be addressing him as she said, "Don't worry. There's only a few more procedures until he's in his best condition."

Bruce's vision was suddenly filled with darkness, with the last thing he saw being the woman nuzzling Jason's brain, before he knew no more.

————

When Bruce woke up, he was back in his bedroom at the manor, with Jason there with him, idly looking through his bookshelves. In disbelief, Bruce called out, "Jason?"

"Whoa, you're up?" Jason turned around. "You passed out in your car. What happened?"

Bruce stared at him with wide eyes. There was no scar on his forehead, nothing that indicated that what he saw was real.

"What do you mean what happened?" Bruce demanded, growing agitated. "You were injured and I went to find you and then a woman took you and—"

"Chill," Jason said with a small smile. "I wasn't injured. It was a false alarm and I got help from one of the guys I work with because I was knocked out. I'm fine, everyone's more worried about you."

Bruce stared at him in horror. Then he said slowly, "No, that's not what happened."

"Bruce, I don't know what to tell you. Nothing happened. You passed out. Wait, let me call everyone." Before Bruce could protest, Jason threw open the door and screamed, "He's awake and clearly delusional! Damian, quick, smother him!"

Fast as a bullet, Damian came running in and threw himself onto Bruce's lap, either intentionally or unintentionally doing as Jason asked and smothering him under his growing weight. "Father! Why were you working so hard that you fell unconscious?! Do you not listen to your own words?! Know your limits!"

"B?! You're awake!" Dick said and the rest of the family came running in.

Bruce was forced to console all of them as they fretted over his condition and demanded to know if he was okay. Bruce felt relatively fine, but there was only one thing on his mind as he turned and met Jason's steady gaze, which held unidentifiable emotions within. Jason smiled and Bruce couldn't help but tense, wary and very confused.

Who was that woman? What did she do with Jason? What happened?

And... was this even his son anymore?

||||||||||||||||||

A Halloween fic that isn't in Jason's POV 😱 (I'm obsessed with him being in love with Jazz)

Jazz and Jason are dating and Jazz is a freak who likes experimenting on her perfect specimen of a boyfriend and Jason is a freak who likes her being obsessed with his DNA. In Bruce's eyes, Jason is the victim, but TRUST, Jason is a willing participant and he likes being Jazz's play toy.

I kinda wanna expand on this idea, but expanding on this current one-shot further will ruin the creepy Halloween vibes, so I'll probably expand on it in the future 🫡

Thank you so much to @meditating-cat who betaed this entire series!

[h-eefic]

Would you possibly give us the cliffnotes for what the plan was for the rest of this fic? I've been following early on (like 2015??), it really truly has an important space in my heart. I even have it saved offline in case there was ever a time where it would be removed!! Even if it will never be finished, I still like to re-read it, maladaptive daydream about it, etc. I'd love to know where it would have gone in the end!! Or if you would release any drafts or whatever have you!!

I will write down what I remember! I think I've lost any outlines we had but:

Yes, Alistair was the shitty neighbor the entire time. It was so silly, we were obsessed with it.

After Liv leaves his hospital room, she spends days locked in her house, triggered bc of her parents and just generally shut down.

When she opens her door and sees Alistair standing there, she basically blue screens because he's a) real b) extremely good-looking and c) he's her what? I don't remember much about what comes next but I know they spend a few hours hashing things out, talking, putting together all the context of their friendship (discussing everyone they have in common, lmao).

Liv goes back to running away from her problems, tells him she's had all of her fears about being with him confirmed for her.

Ultimately, he talks her into giving him a chance to at least take her on a date. She walks him to her front door and he asks if he can kiss her. They do, and he's very convincing. :)

They spend a few days(?) flirting through windows at each other. For their date, he sets up a scavenger hunt for her to find the location for the date? And it was going to be so cute, he has her go to Andrastea to find a clue to the next location, which is Druffy's, and so on and so forth, he leaves clues at the places he's recommended to her. The final date I think was going to be at the beach. Liv ultimately realizes that she'd rather be with him and risk losing him than be alone and dreaming of police lights forever. It gets steamy. :)

After that, I mostly remember the two of them doing a tour around to all their friends and giving the update that they're a thing. Happy endings abound!

There was going to be an epilogue where they go on a road trip with Cullen and Lua, and we planned to commission different artists to make polaroids of them having a good time. Thedas Space Program 4 lyfe.

We really were at the finish line, and I'm so sad we didn't get to tell the rest of it. I have some small things like playlists, previously unposted sketches, and snippets that I'll leave in this Google Doc if you still want more. Emrys may have files I don't, so I welcome her to share them if she wants to.

I also welcome anyone who wants to play in the space to go buck wild, and if you do I would love to see them if you message me @bucket-fucker. I'm replaying Liv's canon as we speak, and I hope to write her again, I still had much more to say!

Thank you all for showing interest in my lil OC. And thank you for still caring. It's been a blast, and I appreciate you all.

-A.

[morweneledhwen]

Decided to go on a spontaneous short trip to Rostock, one of the old Hanseatic cities.

It's a race against time, because the sun will set at 4pm (four more weeks of this nonsense and we will finally have the longest night behind us, thank God), so let's get going!

Okay, so from the distance this looked like a church tower, but it's not. I guess old city gate tower? Anyway, I feel robbed!

Ohhh, these guys have a proper medieval city wall! I'm delighted. But also not surprised, this city used to be rich as fuck and needed thick walls to stay that way.

Berlin, take notice! (Just kidding, Berlin has The Wall instead. 😌)

Man, these houses go hard, and there are so many of them. Imagine living in this! Just incredible.

It's hard to describe how massive this church is. The pictures really don't do it any justice. Favorite church in this city yet, 10/10, would visit again.

I have no idea where I am right now, but everything is so pretty. Let's go to the waterfront.

Getting nearer...

... and found it! But it's to dark now to take proper pictures. Need to come back whenever I find the time and money again. What a beautiful city!

PS: Found a café! One more hour until my friend slash work wife arrives. I'll probably be mostly offline for the next two days. With her, I have my priorities. 😌🧡

[Edit]

If it wasn't dark and raining, I would have also taken pictures of these. These are what I came here to see in the first place.

[canmom]

Any thoughts on gacha games ? Any rec on gacha games, especially if its not live action ? Thanks !

hmmmm

i used to be into NieR Reincarnation but they shut that one down lol

in general gacha is home of all the most obscene dark pattern monetisation models in gaming, so it tends to be designed for maximum timesink potential. even though there are many many great stories and gorgeous art styles in gacha, I tend to avoid playing them.

if anything the timesink aspect is a bigger problem for me than the money sink - it's easy enough to stay f2p when the prices are all calibrated to whales with a lot of money to burn, but there's an endless parade of daily tasks and small progress bars to fill so hours can fly by without anything really happening. which would be fine if the moment-to-moment gameplay was engaging, but so much of the time it's just inventory management and waiting for shit with no real challenge, and that ain't it. (instead I can spend my time on fulfilling activities like writing long tumblr posts... shit)

there are understandable reasons for some of this...

phone input is in general imprecise and largely limited to swiping and tapping on things. since pulling gacha is the thing that makes the game money, you can see how the easy, obvious way to incentivise it is to make progress broadly a function of your character's stats. that, and the long grinds in most of these games, means that 'skill' in a gacha game is mostly a matter of efficiency.

it's also an infamous problem that gacha development is on razor-thin margins and pretty much all or nothing: either it becomes a cultural juggernaut or it fails to make enough to sustain development. the vast majority of gacha games shut down, and while other unsuccessful games can at least stick around, the only way you can hope for an offline/custom-server version of gacha to survive is if dedicated, technically minded fans go to the effort of reverse engineering it. it is a painfully ephemeral art form even by videogame standards.

basically the problem is that nobody is willing to spend money on mobile games (I don't mean this as some kind of ridiculous guilt trip, that's just how it is), so the only routes to viability are ads and microtransactions, which come with all sorts of perverse design incentives. as a dev on a neighbouring platform, I look at mobile games with a degree of horror - I want to make a game that rewards the time players spend with it, not homeopathically dilute the good parts with brutal casino sandtrap shit because that's the only way the company can make enough money to pay my salary. (frankly if I had to do the level of exploitative shit that is completely standard in gacha I'd have to find another line of work, I couldn't live with it).

that said...

there is something interesting in how gacha design aesthetics push the sort of otaku 'database' concept to its absolute limit. every character needs to be dripping with appeal, and they need to hit as many different types of moe as possible across the cast. much like a fighting game, it means you have less of a hierarchy - everyone has a sort of 'main character' look. and much like, say, a Kamen Rider show, you need to be constantly introducing new props and outfits, which means it's just a huge field to experiment with character design. one of the big things that kept me coming back to NieRRein was the gorgeous character artwork - and with all the gacha out there, you've a good chance one hits your buttons.

gacha also seems to be, for whatever reason, a major platform for serial illustrated storytelling in the current age. a lot of gacha is essentially a serialised visual novel with gameplay speedbumps. like any long-running serial, that often means the plot will sooner or later take some intriguingly weird turns - and it gives you a lot of time to become attached to characters. I like narrative games, and gacha games tend to accumulate a lot of narrative - just severely diluted.

as far as recs...

besides the now-dead NieRRein and SINoALICE, which i played for the obvious Yoko Taro reasons, I also played a bit of Sdorica some years back, which I recall having an appealing art style and decent story - tho I quit fairly early because it was kind of eating my life.

I think you could also make an argument that Warframe is at least a fellow traveller to gacha games, and I have put so many hours into that that I don't want to think about it. god tier art direction, its story is ridiculous but now and then has some real moments of emotional impact, and its parkour system is really sick, but unfortunately it is an unrelenting grindfest and it takes literally thousands of hours to unlock most of its shit. Warframe is sorta the ultimate example of the adage that 'given the opportunity, players will optimise the fun out of a game', let's leave it at that.

other than that, everything else I only know about second hand: I watched the Arknights anime and it was fun, the techwear furries are endearing and the plot is quite strikingly odd. I have also enjoyed seeing some of the animation coming out of Zenless Zone Zero - they're trying something new and I respect it. (plus I think that one's like, an actual action game? though, not played.) I don't recall the name of the game, but someone sitting next to me at Scotland Loves Anime was playing a gacha rhythm game, and that seems like a genre fusion that could work well.

other than that, I would very likely have given Limbus Company a shot sooner or later, but I was severely put off the company after the MRA firing incident. I hear it's a good game though.

sorry I can't help more, but I know some friends who are into gacha so maybe they'll drop some recs in the comments!!

[gigglemeshthegayboi]

A List of Gripes, Misgivings, Nitpicks, and Other Criticisms of the Wilds Beta

With the beta winding down, we should all take the time to really reflect on how much we enjoyed it. Well, of course we enjoyed it. This is Monster Hunter we're talking. But the beta was, well, a beta test. Capcom dropped it to us specifically to test out Wilds, and generate feedback. This is exactly what I have today to, if they somehow see this; feedback. This is a list of gripes, nitpicks, and small misgivings about MH Wilds I have developed from my time with the beta. I would also like to hear the thought of the community at large and how they compare to my own. I played about 20 hours of it from Tuesday until Sunday, but didn't quite get to trying out all of the weapons. I do, however, have notes on most of them. While I adored the beta and am just as hype for Wilds as the next guy, the whole point of a beta is still to generate constructive community feedback. To that end, here's what I have to say:

System:

Right off the bat, sure I'm on PS5, but this game *really* needs better PC optimization. As funny as looking like a PS1 game for some people was, that simply should not be happening to so many people who have purchased a new GPU anytime in the past couple of years.

Can there please be an option to play offline even if your system is online? Thank you very much. 100 player lobbies are cool and all, but if I wanted to play a game with MMO elements like that I would play an actual MMO. It was my biggest gripe with World for most of its lifespan, and I can't help but think it's only gonna get worse with Wilds.

Environment:

I get if it was done the way it was for the sake of demonstration, but the weather shouldn't change nearly as fast as it did in the beta. It coming and going so often made it feel a lot less significant.

Gathering was for the most part cool, but had some really tedious aspects. I like the idea using the grappling hook for it, but I think that putting loot away takes way too long. Also why does zooming in automatically take the Seikret out of sprint? Can I please sprint while focusing aback the birb?

Speaking of items, the item box menu was awful. Why are all the useful functions in their own dinky little menu? Literally just give me Rise item box, or at least add a 1-button shortcut to the loadout and select stack menus.

I also think the equipment menu could be a little better. I think there should be some button that specifically goes to the loadouts menu and one that goes to the armor-by-set menu.

Fishing was way too slow. I know the whole point of fishing is patience, but I shouldn't have to wait two minutes just to catch a single Sushifish. The full game will probably have consumable baits to remedy this, but nonetheless fishing as it stood was truly agonizing.

I wish we knew about how cooking ingredients work. How do we replenish them in the full game? Do we just buy them from that little grocery stand in base camp? Do we earn them for doing optional requests? What's the deal there? Dumping a bunch of them onto us was probably the way to go for the beta, but I'm gonna be hungry for answers until the full release drops.

The pop-up camp system is really cool, I just think it needs some fine tuning. I think that monsters ought to be a little less inclined to attack "Dangerous" camps than they were in the beta, and a little more inclined to attack "Unsafe" camps.

Monsters:

Chatacabra's damage was undertuned. I know it's basically this game's drome, but I'm pretty sure Great Izuchi dealt more damage in the Rise demo than Chatacabra ever did. It only barely felt like a threat in that first quest, and that was mostly because we didn't get to eat beforehand.

Doshaguma's damage, however, was overtuned. Alpha Dosha managed to cart me more times on average than Rey Dau. If Doshaguma is sort of supposed to be the Anjanath to Rey Dau's Rathalos, that just should not be the case. Also, I think it was way too aggressive in its last phase. Felt worse than a 4th gen Furious Rajang in that regard.

Balahara was a weird mix of attacks that did way too much damage and did too little. Generally, the mud attacks were a little too strong, and the biting attacks were a too weak, but that might just be a matter of personal taste. Shouldn't the attacks by its mouth, which is a perma-wound when open, be really dangerous to present some sort of risk-reward?

The fight itself was extremely well tuned--overall the best in the beta--but I wish Rey Dau would actually use area 5 more often. I only ever saw it go up there a couple of times. Maybe make it go up there instead of 9 and 10 during the Plenty?

Weapons:

Focus mode is really cool, but trying to move independently from the camera and hold an attack at the same time is really awkward. Maybe add an option to bind Focus Mode to L3 on controllers?

Greatsword doesn't feel nearly as meaty as I wish it would. Also, what why does Hammer have something with a higher MV than TCS? It's a really cool attack, don't get me wrong, but I just find the idea of TCS being dethroned in that regard irksome. Other than that, both were great. I mained Hammer in World and Greatsword in GU, and they're both probably gonna be up there in Wilds.

Gunlance felt strong. Like it did a wee bit too much damage for once. Maybe slightly reduce the shell damage. That being said, please for the love of god don't touch shell scaling now that, after 5 whole generations, it is finally fixed. Maybe they could, however, remove the wee bit of intrinsic fire from them and change that out for whatever element the Gunlance itself has? Pretty please?

Nothing but praises to sing for Longsword, Lance, and Charge Blade. They knocked it out of the park with these. Maybe a little too much with Longsword in particular.

Also no real notes on the Sword & Shield, Dual Blades, Hunting Horn, or Insect Glaive. I'm not super familiar with these weapons to begin with.

I have no notes whatsoever on any of the ranged weapons. Didn't get around to playing them myself and have never really liked them to begin with. Bow looks cool though.

That leaves Switch Axe. Poor, poor, Switch Axe. The focus attacks are cool. The counter in Sword Mode and the Offset in Axe Mode are cool. Unbridled and Full Release Slash are cool. But why does sword gauge not recharge passively? Why do sword attacks consume so much gauge? Why revert the change from Rise and not let axe mode get phial bursts when amped? Why does Axe Mode feel more like a chore than anything else? Why does the amped state last for so little time? Also why does hitting circle after that one axe combo morph you into sword? Why is morph slash not always an option? Why does trying to input Wild Swing while moving forward do that fuckass running attack? They had a great thing going in Rise, and IMO kinda dumpstered Switch Axe in Wilds from what we've seen.

TL:DR; I hope Capcom does some fine tuning here and there, fixes up the tent menus, makes fishing bearable, and for the love of Gog fixes Switch Axe for Wilds's full release in February. This game is already looking like one of the best 2025 releases, and if they can just tune it a little bit, it might become my single favorite video game ever.

[bots-and-cons]

University, dropping courses and writing

University is keeping me very busy, but I’m gonna try to write and post something this week. It’s hard to stay on top of everything, but I’m trying. Writing stuff keeps me sane, and I wish I had more time for it, but I can’t really just abandon my uni work either, and it has to get done in time. I’m sleeping like 55% of my day, sometimes more but very rarely less. Idk if it’s my depression coming back, if it’s autistic burnout again or what the fuck, but I don’t like it. I have so much to do and no energy for anything. “This too shall pass but holy fuck”, as a wise person once said.

I’m drowning in school assignments. I’m going to have to drop two courses I was supposed to do this fall, because I just can’t manage the amount of work. I was originally going to do 37 credits worth of studies this fall, (one uni credit is about 27 hours of work in Finland) but I’m gonna have to drop it to 30 credits. I’m almost done with one of the bigger courses I have for this fall, but I still have two pages to write for the assignment too. It’s a ton of work, since I have to read and research so much for it. I already have 8 pages of it done, but the minimum requirement is 10 pages, so I’ve still got some work to do. I’m just hoping I don’t lose my benefits, since I’m required to do a certain amount of uni credits to keep getting my money.

I still need to talk with the guidance counselor, my tutor teacher and my psychiatric nurse about how I’m going to be lightening my workload at school, but I think it’s for the best. If I don’t drop some of my courses, I’m gonna end up on sick leave or something. I’m just gonna have to do those courses later. They’re independent courses, at least mostly, so it’s not really tied to any specific time. I really hope my teacher and the guidance counselor support me in my decision. I know the psych. nurse is gonna support me, since her job is not to get me to graduate as quickly as possible, unlike the university staff.

I feel like crap for not writing tbh. It’s not even really about the fact that I’m not posting anything, I just haven’t even had the time to write, which sucks ass. I’m gonna try to write once I finish the assignments that have deadlines next week. I think there’s three or four things that have the deadline next week, the earliest one is on Monday, but I want to get them done before that. I want to write and play Minecraft and do the things I enjoy, but I have a hard time enjoying them when the school deadlines are breathing down my neck.

Additionally, I think my tooth is chipped or something. It doesn’t hurt or anything, doesn’t even feel weird, but I can feel a sort of sharp edge on it. So that’s gonna be fun to take care of. I checked the university health services, and they’re apparently super busy and I don’t know if I’m even gonna get an appointment for this year. They luckily have a form you can use to get an appointment, so I might not have to call anyone. Their website says some of the forms have been taken offline though, because they are so busy atm. I’m incredibly bad at taking care of my teeth for multiple reasons, and think it’s finally gonna bite me in the ass.

[noonaishere]

Online/Offline [C.S] -  twenty-five | can I pick her up? can I tell her I love her? will she get mad?

Wooyoung rang the doorbell and you clapped your hands together as you waited in the hall with Wooyoung and Yeosang.

“Are you okay?” Wooyoung asked.

“I’m excited to see a cat.”

Wooyoung and Yeosang laughed.

“Do you parents still have Beanie?”

“Beanie?” Wooyoung asked. “Your cat is named ‘Beanie’?”

“Yeah, his mom was named Porky.”

Wooyoung sighed, and leaned against the wall dramatically. 

Yeosang smiled at his reaction.

“What? Don’t tell me you hate it.”

“I’m… I’m so upset I didn’t think of that first. Please tell me Porky was fat.”

“She was fat--”

“Who was fat?” San asked as he opened the door.

“One of my parents’ cats.”

“Oh,” he chuckled and let you all into the apartment. “Come in, I have food-- Baby, come’re!” He shouted into the apartment.

A somewhat chubby yet chic siamese ran over to greet you as you came in.

San picked her up and gave her a hug and held her so you could pet her. “This is her majesty, Byeol.”

You held out your hand so she could smell it, and she did, and then full-forced headbutted your hand with her face and rubbed all over it. You gasped quietly, eyes welling with tears as you felt what could only be given by a cat: the kind of regal acceptance of a monarch to their subject.

“She likes me.”

San smiled. Once you were done he set her back onto the floor and she rubbed all over your legs.

You reached out for San and whispered. “San, she likes me.” 

San held your hands and laughed.

“I’m really going to cry, I haven’t seen a cat since I moved out of my parents house-- except for visiting them. I miss cats. Can I pick her up? Can I tell her I love her? Will she get mad?”

“No, she likes being picked up. You can hold her like a baby.”

You scooped Byeol up as San said and she slow-blinked at you. You looked at San and whined. He laughed at you. 

“You’re so pretty,” you said as you cradled her.

“Y/n, we’re eating the food without you.” Yeosang warned.

You gave Byeol a kiss and put her back on the floor. “I’ll kill you myself, Sangie.”

He chuckled.

This non-party was like the last non-party, only with slightly less alcohol.

“Where’s your roommate?” Wooyoung asked. “I thought maybe he was in his room but he hasn’t come out.” 

“He’s been at work all day. I think he’s shooting something?”

“Shooting something?” You asked.

“He’s an actor.”

“Oh, cool.”

San nodded.

“Is he popular at all?”

“I think he’s mostly been a bit part in things, but he is trying.”

You nodded. “Well, good for him.”

This time, Wooyoung and Yeosang ended up sleeping on the couch together; Yeosang functioning almost as a second mattress as Wooyoung was draped over him, or perhaps, Wooyoung was functioning as a blanket. Byeol was curled up in your lap purring like a steam engine as you petted her and talked to San.

“Do you really miss having a cat that bad?” He laughed softly.

“Who else is going to ignore me, but in a loving way? And yell at me when they think I’m going to to get them food, but I’m actually walking past it?”

He laughed again.

You smiled as you pet her. “It is lonely when you don’t have anyone around though. And obviously a cat isn’t as good of company as a person, but it’s nice to have someone to spend time with.”

He nodded. “I’m sort of surprised you and Yeosang aren’t roommates, then.”

“Oh, I only found out we were in the same building the day I moved in. Another friend of mine is the one who found the place for me.”

“Oh, why don’t you live with them, then? If you feel lonely.”

You thought about it for a moment as you pet Byeol. Should you tell him that Keeho is an idol?

“I--”

You turned to him.

“I mean, you don’t need to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“No, um… He and I keep very different hours so we’d probably just end up annoying each other.”

“Ah. How long have you known each other?”

“Umm… So, I knew Yeosang all through grade school, then he moved away, and I had actually met my other friend before that but we only became friends after Yeosang left when he noticed me sitting by myself in class and asked where he was. So… early high school? We’ve been friends since then.”

“You must be close enough that you wouldn’t annoy each other like that.”

You laughed softly. “You’d think, but sometimes living with someone else can really change how you see a person. Like, if you’re neat and they’re messy or something.”

San nodded.

You sat silently for a few moments and you went back to petting Byeol.

“You’re a streamer, right?” San asked.

You nodded. “Mhm.”

“So I guess you probably stay up late, and that’s where the weird hours would come from?”

You chuckled. “Yeah. I play a lot of games by myself, too.”

His face brightened. “Oh, yeah?”

“Mhm.”

“Which ones?”

“Umm… mostly I like RPGs or chill games, but then I’ll play like… multiplayers and stuff with my friends.”

“Oh, that’s cool,” San smiled.

“I built my own computer.” You nodded.

“Shit, really?”

You nodded proudly.

“I built my own too.”

“Really?”

“Mhm. Want to see?”

“Um, yes?” 

San stood and you scooped Byeol up and followed him to his room. He turned the lights on and presented the tower of his computer, which was currently off.

“What are the specs?”

“How would you feel if I said it had an Nvidia GeForce RTX 3080 Ti?”

Your eyes widened as you looked at him. Silence fell for a moment as you processed the letters and numbers you heard and gained a new appreciation for the man standing in front of you.

He smiled.

You suddenly felt that computer building could be a thing that was so… sexual.

“Don’t those need a really beefy power supply?”

He nodded. “It has it.”

“Ooooooof.” You breathed as you looked back at the tower. “I’ve never felt so envious before in my life.”

He chuckled.

“I can’t believe you dropped that much money on it.”

He shrugged. “It’d been a while since I built a new computer so I figured why not? Money’s no good unless you spend it.”

“That’s so sexy of you.” 

You froze for a moment. Out of the corner of your eye you could see that San also froze. You hated that you couldn't control your penchant for speaking without thinking outside of your streams: while you were streaming it made you hilarious, in real life it made you awkward. You did the only thing you could do and deflected; lifting Byeol up and holding her so her face was in yours. 

“Miss Byeol, you didn’t tell me your daddy had such incredible taste in computer parts. You shouldn’t keep secrets, you bad girl.”

San exhaled a laugh and you went back to holding her like a baby, the movement not deterring her from her eye smiles and happy purring.

“Oh, and it has LEDs,” San leaned over and turned it on, deep purple LEDs lighting up in the case as well as behind the double monitors.

“Wow. I’m a red LEDs person myself, but I can see you’re a man of taste.”

He laughed and held the power button to shut the computer off. The lights went off and everything was dark again.

“Should we go back to the living room?”

You chuckled. “I’m sure the sleepy twins are missing us terribly.”

San laughed as you turned and followed you out, turning off the lights.

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[draconic-ichor]

The Cat, The Sun, and The Moon

Fnaf fanfic

Sun/moon x female oc

Part 9

Warnings: strong language, sexual themes, biting, blood, predator/prey dynamics, mentions of past trauma, cannon typical horror

Summary: Things deteriorate further, and Tabby decides Moon needs a little adventure out of the apartment as well.

Feedback appreciated, 18+.

Sun blinked back online, systems feeling sluggish from the lower temperature. Sitting up, the sound of cement granted against the metal of his exoskeleton, he grimaced into the sunlight.

He was on the roof again.

And his clothes were gone…

Sun huffed, lifting himself to standing. He glanced around, finding Moon’s outfit quickly.

The rising sun started to warm him, making movements easier, as he grumpily pulled on the sweatpants, forgoing the hoodie since he was just going to have to change soon anyways.

He was painfully aware his counterpart was offline, in rest mode or forced updates, he didn’t care to find out.

“Hotheaded.”

He swung a leg over to the fire escape, words low and growly.

“Self centered.”

He climbed down to the apartment's balcony.

“Piece of…”

His voice-box grated as he sat crisscross on the balcony floor, rays tilting to beginning charging. Huffing out to release tensions before they flared too high. Sun tried to focus on any little sound of the waking city, closing his optics.

Bip!

The sound of a complete charging cycle roused him from his meditations. He blinked, standing to return to the apartment.

Something was off…

He tilted his head, listening.

Walking quietly his mood dropped into worry as he spotted light filtering from the office door. Padding up, he knocked softly.

“Moon?” Came Tabby’s voice, strained with tiredness. Throat sounding dry as well.

Sun wilted a bit, despite his best efforts, faceplate leaning on the door as he responded softly, “…No.”

“Sun?” She sounded surprised, adding more to herself than directed at him, “Shit, what time is it?”

“Can I come in?” He asked.

“Sure.”

He turned the knob, peeking in to see her at her computer, the dark circles under her eyes were only partially hidden by her smeared makeup.

“Have you been up all night?” He asked, free hand clenching into a fist with concern.

Rubbing at her cheek, streaking old mascara into an even worse mess, she answered sheepishly, “I guess so. Is it morning?”

“It’s seven thirty-six am…” Sun spoke in a way that was desperately trying to hide his disapproval, adding lower, “You work today…”

“Yea…yea I know.” She nodded, looking away. Forcing a weak smile, Tabby attempted to sound sure as she assured, “I’ll be fine though!”

“You’ll be fine?” Sun echoed.

“I’ll be fine.” She nodded, trying to convince them both at once, “I’ll just clean up a bit and buy like an energy drink or something on the way.”

“Star…” Sun frowned.

“I’m used to long nights.” She waved away his concern, standing, “This will be nothing.”

Sun stood to the side to let her pass, worrying his hands together as she rambled on about past experiences of sleep deprivation. He followed behind her as she went to the bathroom.

He caught the look that flashed over her features before she realized he was there: weary and self-reproachable. Turquoise eyes shifted to meet his gaze through the mirror, giving him a weak smile before starting to wash her face.

She hardly ate breakfast, mostly filling up on coffee before rushing out of the apartment.

Sun stood, just staring at the apartment door, optics far away and unfocused. He worried his hands together, rays retracting the longer he looked. He withdrew more into himself, feeling out of place.

You could only organize a one bedroom apartment so many times.

Sun knew that…weeks ago.

He filled the madding silence by stacking DVDs into a tower, carefully replacing them in alphabetical order before doing it all over again. It was almost therapeutic.

By the time he detected the door’s lock clicking open he’d been at the repetitive task for hours. Jumping to attention, his most recent tower was knocked over, making a plastic-y hollow sound as the cases clattered across the floor. Sun winced, swiveling to check if it was noticed.

If it was, Tabby showed no sign of caring about it, struggling to get her shoes off. She kicked them away, dropping her bag to the floor before stripping out of her work clothes. She looked about as bad as she felt, eyes dull and downcast as she made her way across the apartment.

He rushed to pick up the DVDs, placing them on the shelf with habitual ease.

“I missed you today.” Sun smiled, straightening to following behind her as she went into the bathroom.

“I missed you too.” She nodded, voice soft as she ran cool water to splash on her face. Sun noticed the little wince at the much brighter light of the bathroom.

“Sunshine…are you ok?” He asked, his excitement of her arrival fading.

“Y-Yea.” She didn’t look at him, “I just have a headache.”

“Can I make you something?” He offered, “Tea? Soup? Anything?”

“No.”

The answer was quick and simple, spiking through his casing. Sun moved out of the way as she crossed the hall.

“Maybe we can watch a movie?” He reached out for her, “Or, or, or, maybe-“

“I…” Tabby looked away, “I just want to go lay down, okay?”

Sun’s outreaching hands withdrew slightly, fingers curling into his palms. He forced his faceplate to keep the smile that painted over it.

“Well sure!” He agreed, masking his words in a cheery tone. His head tilted, a shadow of his desperation cracking through as he watched her. An optic twitched.

“Star?” He asked as she passed him.

“Yea?” She asked tiredly, not even turning to meet his gaze.

“Could,” he ventured, tone needy and searching, “Could we cuddle then?”

Tabby paused at the bedroom door, hand on the handle. He saw how her fingers clenched in the slightest, shoulders sagging before she spoke.

“I have a migraine.” her voice was low, “The light makes it worse….”

There was much more implied in the tense silence that yawned after her words, making Sun flinch a bit.

He couldn’t go where there was no light…

He straightened, fiddling his fingers together. Nodding, his voice strained to convey normality, hell even a bit of false positivity, “Of course!”

Sun’s voice was just a touch too loud, making her wince again.

“You just go rest, and and and,” his smile almost hurt, “I’ll be right here!”

“…yea.” Tabby acknowledged the sentiment just enough to escape the interaction.

Sun watched closely as she closed the door behind her, painfully aware of the small click of the lock. Now away from any prying eyes he cracked, tightening enough his movements jerked as his head tilted.

Optic twitched, wandering back into the main arena of the apartment, desperately looking for something, anything, to clean.

It was spotless.

Everything was done.

Things organized and reorganized.

The twitching worsened, metal fingers clinking together.

“Moon?” Sun whispered, deadly low. His voice was almost just a staticy hum.

Moon was online, he could tell. He heard him.

“Moon, if you ruin this for me…I’ll…I’ll…” the words glitched.

M: You’ll what, Sunny?

The words were flat, no challenge yet no fear in them.

Sun grabbed at his faceplate, fingers clawing into his rays. “Well golly, I don’t know what I’ll do!” He smiled wildly, chest hurting, “I don’t know what I’ll do…”

His anger gave away into despair, rocketing through him like a comet, burning him from within.

M: Sun…

“Moon…I…” Sun crouched down, hiding his face in his knees. His body shook, rocking a bit to release tension.

“I love her, Moony.” Sun whispered, voice strained, “I love her a whole lot…”

M: Sun…

M: Sorry, I don’t…I don’t know why I-

“I know.” Sun whispered into the fabric of his pants, words wobbly and uneven, “I know…”

~

The bedroom door was still shut long after darkness fell, standing like stone before the lunar animatronic.

Moon was on all fours, faceplate pressed against the door, listening. He could just faintly pick up the soft sounds of snoring.

Tabby was sleeping.

His optics blinked open, moving away from the door slightly.

That was good….she needed sleep.

So why did he feel restless?

Moon took a few steps into the main area, pausing to listen again. Pressing his faceplate into the floor, he could hear the murmurs of a different tenant, the soft buzz of a strange tv.

Nothing to hold his attention for long, lifting his head to continue his rounds of circling the tiny living space. His optics caught sight of something, bright fabric drawing his attention. He snapped towards it, pawing closer to find one of Tabitha’s plushies laying on the living room rug.

It was the Moon plush…

Sun must have taken it earlier to give himself some company in wake of our recent silence.

Moon thought sadly, coming closer to look over the toy. Something inside him shifted.

His head tilted.

He pulled the plush closer, staring at it as if it would move.

“Hate you…” Moon whispered, words coming out like growls.

Claws scraped the old wood off the floor, grimace seared into his faceplate. A static-y sound left his voice box as he stared down into the small sewn eyes: bright blue thread staring back.

Mocking him.

He hissed, “Hate you.” Hands caging in the little plush. His optics burned red as he brought his thumbs down over its small face, digging his claws into its eyes.

“Monster!” He gorged them out, ripping into the stuffing, “Hurt everyone.” His voice rasped.

Clawing into the plush further, sobbing sounds choked out of his voice box, optics squeezing shit.

“Hate you.”

He wished he could cry, could release this rotting feeling.

“Everyone hates you.”

Wished that his body was flesh, that it would rush to comfort him with chemicals, sooth his mind. But nothing came: no tears, no relief, no kind hand.

Just him, that little doll with a false face, and rot.

“Everyone…”

He swallowed, looking down at the mangled toy.

Blue orbs gone.

Gone…no reminder of what he should be.

Of his failure…

Of his mistakes…

His chest hurt, looking at the wads of stuffing, part of him desperately wanting to scoop it up.

Desperately wanting to be held…

In a moment his demeanor shifted, face hardening as he ground his teeth. He pushed the doll away as if it was filth, lip curling.

“Deserve everything.” He hissed as he passed, stalking towards the balcony doors on all fours.

~

Sleep only brought the slightest relief to Tabitha, blinking open her eyes to the first shafts of light that peeked through her curtains. She swallowed, mouth feeling dry and heavy.

She needed water.

Standing up, she unlocked her door and started shuffling across the apartment, half awake. She stepped on something substantial, something soft that squished and gave underfoot.

Instantly sobering from her sleep haze, Tabby cautiously looked down, images of dead mice making her stomach tighten.

It was stuffing.

Relief eased the tension at the fact it wasn’t the gross remains of a rodent she'd stepped on first thing in the morning, was quickly replaced as her mind caught up with her more, eyes following the mess to its source: the torn up plush.

A little sound of surprise left her lips as she knelt down, scooping up the remains of the innocent toy.

A pain ran through her chest, guilt washing over her all over again. She clutched the toy tighter, thoughts pooling ever darker until the sound of the balcony door sliding open ran a steak through them.

Sun walked through the threshold, looking sour as he stepped out of Moon’s sweatpants. He grimaced slightly when one foot got caught in a leg, hopping a bit in an effort to free it.

“Did you do this?” Tabby turned towards the balcony.

“Do what?” Sun asked, leaning down to pull the sweatpants off his foot, once bare he turned and shut the glass door completely.

“This!” Tabby held up the toy, tone a bit more sharp.

His faceplate tilted up, he padded closer curiously. Looking over the mess, his rays retracted.

“….no.” Sun answered softly, worry and hurt thick in his voice, leaving Tabby little room to question.

“What did Moon do last night?” She asked, worry thick.

“I…don’t know.” Sun admitted turning away. He padded to the hall closet, busying himself with getting dressed to make distance between them.

Tabby didn’t relent, watching him expectantly.

Sun pulled on his hoodie slowly, going on, “I went into full rest mode…I have no idea what Moon did…”

He crossed the apartment to place Moon’s outfit on the counter to wash later. Taking a breath he didn’t need to steady himself to turned back towards her, coming closer as he spoke, “Maybe we can get you another one?” Sun offered, hopeful. He forced a smile to accompany his words.

“I’m not upset about losing this!” She held up the toy for emphasis. Seeing Sun’s smile falter at the volume of her voice, Tabby softened, wiping her cheek with the back of her hand. She sniffed, “I just…am worried and sad he would do this. I don’t know how to help, he never wants to talk to me and I just keep fucking things up…”

“Starlight…” Sun hummed, leaning closer to her.

“I don’t know what to do.” She sniffed, looking up at him.

Sun tilted his faceplate to bonk softly against her forehead, smile fully faltering. He thought for a moment, optics shifting about.

“I can try to fix this?” He offered, cupping a large hand around her much smaller ones, cradling the toy within.

“Could you?”

“Can definitely try.” He nodded, adding more softly, “I need more material though…”

“I can take care of that part.” Tabby wiped at her face more. Sniffing hard she mumbled, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” He hummed, taking the toy to carefully set on the table. Sun urged her closer, scooping her up in a hug.

“I’ll get snot on your shirt.” She huffed, relaxing into his hold.

“I’m used to it.” Sun hummed.

Tabby shot him a sharp look. She didn’t crythat much!

Practically reading her thoughts, Sun reminded, “I watch a baby three times a week.”

“Ooooh…right.” She softened.

“Silly.” Sun chuckled, curling his body around her affectionately.

~

“Mr. Sun?” Dakota’s voice broke the animatronic from his trance.

Sun blinked back into the present, looking down at the young girl. Her dark eyes were big and worried.

“Are you okay?” She asked, tilting her head.

They sat at her little art table, coloring and making crafts together. Tabby had been at work for hours now, this being one of the babysitting days.

Sun’s optics shifted down, jumping a bit in surprise.

The crayon he’d been using prior now lay snapped in his tightened grasp.

“Oh I’m so so so sorry!” He exclaimed, guilt washing over him as he dropped the broken tool as if it burned him.

“It’s ok, Mr. Sun.” Dakota reached out to pat his arm. Her concern melted his heart.

“I’ll replace this.” Sun looked down at the broken crayon again, “I promise, I’ll bring a new box Wednesday, little comet. I’m so so sorry.”

“We can still color with it.” Dakota smiled finally, cocking her head downwards to ask, “What’ure you drawing?”

Sun glanced down at his picture, realizing he’d drawn a messy version of Moon in his stupor. His rays retracted. “I…uh…I drew Moondrop.” He looked up to ask quietly, “Do you remember him at all?”

“His candy!” Dakota nodded, standing up to race into the other room.

Sun shifted to check on the baby, finding him still resting after his afternoon bottle. Just as he turned back to the table, the girl returned with a book. She held it up proudly, showing off an open page.

“It’s Moondrop!” She announced, pointing a tiny finger to the page. It was a book with brief information about the animatronics from the Plex: this page in particular showing the iconic poster with the character Moon was based on.

It was an odd feeling, every time Sun saw the characters they were made to model, like he was wearing someone else’s skin.

And in a way…he supposed he was.

“Yes, Star.” Sun nodded, “That’s Moon.”

Dakota nodded along with him, beaming.

The realization that that poster was her only reference for his counterpart dawned on him.

She turned the book back towards herself, looking it over with a more serious look on her little face. Pouting out her lip in concentration, she asked, “Where does he work?”

“Well, he works with me.” Sun informed softly.

“But I never see him!”

“No…”

“Is he sick?”

“Kind of.”

“Can we make him soup?” She asked sweetly, “Mommy says soup makes you feel better.”

Sun smiled, shaking his head gently, “Soup won’t help, I’m afraid.”

“Awwwww….” She sulked.

“Thank you, though.” Sun reached out to ruffle her hair, “It’s awful sweet of you.”

She giggled, previous discouragement quickly forgotten.

Sun was quiet, watching as the child returned to her crafts.

He felt far away from the colorful little table.

~

“I stopped at the craft store on the way home.” Tabby sighed, holding out a bag at arms length.

Sun carefully took it, glancing inside as she went on, “I tried to get matching fabric from memory but….”

“It won’t be the same…” Sun finished her thought, voice sounding defeated.

“Should it be?” She ventured.

Sun’s rays drooped, agreeing, “I suppose not.”

They both turned to look at the toy, sitting broken and sad on the coffee table. Tabby reached out to squeeze Sun’s free hand a bit, making him let out a little sound. His head tilted towards her, murmuring, “Go rest for a bit…I’ll work on this.”

“Are you sure?” She asked, offering, “Can I help?”

“Not enough room for extra hands.” He admitted, but added softly, “Thank you, though. I can handle this, Sunshine.”

She nodded, going to take some medicine before laying down.

It was dark by the time she woke, bolting up a bit. She grabbed her phone: 9:31 pm…

Moon was in the same spot he found himself any night recently that weather would allow…on the apartment’s rooftop.

He lay on his back, staring up into the night sky. His hoodie had been left in the apartment, clad in only the old grey sweatpants and his hat.

Moonlight mixed with the glowing lights of the city reflected off the bare metal of his chest. Moon’s hand absentmindedly felt over the exoskeleton of his chest, fingers tracing the seams of cured silicone that littered them. Optics never leaving the sky, wishing to see the stars more clearly.

The light pollution and smog made them very difficult to make out even to his mechanical vision. His fingers curled in harder to his chest, threatening to damage the casing, closing his eyes to the yawning feeling of longing.

A sound made him sit up suddenly, faceplate swirling towards the fire escape. The metal creaked with added weight, the clink of shoes to follow. A pastel form appeared, Moon’s fight or flight response warning as he realized it was only Tabby.

She huffed, lifting herself over the lip of the roof. Brushing some of the rust from her clothes she padded over to where he sat.

She’d never followed him up to the roof before…

“Hey big guy.” Her voice was soft, guarded.

Moon looked her up and down, eyes reverting back to their normal half lidded state as his surprise waned. He huffed out, “Dangerous for you.” As he lay back down.

“You like to point that out a lot.” Tabby snickered, kneeling down beside him.

He made a dismissive sound, not offering her any other attention.

Tabby wilted a bit, following his gaze up into the sky. She wasn’t much for sky-watching, their place in the city guaranteeing a level of dissatisfaction to the hobby. Despite that, she attempted to get comfortable beside him, laying down on the concrete.

The cold of the roof seeped through her clothes quickly, sending a chill over her skin. Tabby crossed her arms over her chest, straining to look for any little lights in the dark sky.

They just lay there together, no idea for the time that passed. If not for the cold, Tabby would have started to drift a bit.

Moon made a sound, rousing her to attention.

“Why do they look…different?” Moon asked, voice gravely in its low tone.

“Hm?” She tilted her head slightly towards him.

“The stars.” He clarified, reaching his hand up towards the sky. His optics searched around as he tried to find the words, “So dark.” He pulled his hand back, clutching it to his chest, “….so far away?”

Tabby sighed softly, “It’s because we are in the city.”

Moon tilted his faceplate towards her, optic flicking away from the darkness.

“The lights drown them out.” She explained, “Out in the country, far away from any towns, they would be beautiful.” Her voice sounded wistful, closing her eyes as she painted the idea for her own mind as well.

“Have you?” He asked, voice hardly audible.

“Seen the stars?”

Moon rolled on his side, full attention on her now. A single claw scratched at the concrete roof, anticipation alighting his eyes.

“Never like that.” She admitted, a note of disappointment tinging the words.

Moon shifted a bit closer, the space between them warming up from shared heat. His teeth flashed a bit from his lip.

“Can we?” The words were light, much more than she’d heard from him in weeks. The shift in his melancholy blind-sighting her for a fleeting moment.

“See them together?” He asked more pointedly, part of him worried she misunderstood the question, while the other wrestled with the thought she wouldn’t want to spend the extra time together in the first place.

“That would be a long, long drive.” She admitted, watching him withdraw a bit. Quickly catching him before he completely hid away, she went on, “But…some day, I want to take you far away and see them.”

His gaze turned hopeful, a soft smile shadowing his lips. He nodded.

Tabby rolled back, looking up into the sky once more. A sigh left her, long and slow, as her mind wandered.

“I've hardly ever left the cities, just moving from one to another…” she admitted almost regretfully.

Moon watched her closely, single red optic never blinking.

“I want to see the ocean, and the mountains…” she thought aloud, wistfully, “So high we can touch the stars.”

“We?”

Rolling back on her side, Tabby nodded, “If you’d both come with me?”

Moon shifted, looking away as he clutched his hands to his chest. The sounds of the city as the only thing filling the silence between them.

“You don’t have to.” She soothed, voice gentle.

Moon shook his faceplate a bit, the metal making a hollow sound as it bonked against the concrete. His voice box seemed stuck with glue, words far away.

Tabby withdrew, mouth a thin line.

Sometimes they felt close, but all that warmth and familiarity could be washed away in a fleeting moment. Moon became quiet and hidden, bunching up in on himself to look small. He almost seemed scared?

Or maybe shy?

She thought, looking away as the gears turned in her head.

“Hey!” She exclaimed, excitement infecting her tone as she sat up suddenly.

Moon jumped at the sudden outburst, fans kicking up as he looked at her wide eyed.

“Let do something fun, yea?” She leaned over him, propping herself up on her hands.

Moon looked completely bewildered, hands going to wring his hat a bit without thinking.

“I know things have been…strained…between us.” She gave an awkward smile, “But maybe going out together is just what we need!”

“G-going out?” He echoed the words, optics widening further.

“Yea!” Tabby beamed, “I know somewhere I think you’ll love!”

Moon looked away worriedly, making Tabby double down, “No, you’ll love it, I promise! We have to drive tho so you gotta put a coat on.”

“Worried I’ll get cold?” He huffed, goading a response.

Tabby huffed herself now, snapping back, “No! I just don’t want people to stare at your shiny naked ass.” She crossed her arms as she finished.

Moon gave a gravely laugh at that.

~

Apprehension, and Moon’s inherent dislike of the car, strained his mood. Whatever mirth tickled around his chest now absent as he crunched himself up to fit into her tiny front seat, knees almost touching his chin.

Tabby has changed her clothes into something a bit more sturdy and dark, hair tied tightly back in a bun. She didn’t normally go out looking like this, making Moon’s curiosity thicken.

He looked away quickly when she glanced his way, instead focusing on the streetlights as they passed beneath them.

“I’m sorry…” Tabby’s voice came softly, glancing away again from the road a bit as she clarified, “About the other day.”

Moon just huffed, shifting to look out the window.

She gripped the steering wheel a bit harder, rambling to fill the silence and to soothe her own guilt. “I shouldn’t just assume the worst about you…you know?” Eyes flicking to see if there was any reaction. When one didn’t come she sighed, “It was shitty of me.”

Moon’s hand raised to do a ‘so so’ gesture, faceplate never turning from the window.

Tabby drove in silence, the awkwardness threatening to eat her alive.

“What about some music?” She offered, hand already going to the radio.

Moon turned to give her a narrow look of warning, Tabby instantly putting both hands on the steering wheel again.

“Okay, no music then.” She felt sweat on her lower back, this maybe being her top three of worst car rides.

“This is it!” Tabby announced, bringing the car to a stop.

Moon furrowed his nonexistent eyebrows, faceplate tilting.

They were in the parking lot of a long abandoned fast food restaurant, one that sported a multi level indoor playpark. Many of the windows were boarded up with large pieces of plywood, outer walls covered in graffiti.

Tabby got out of the car, going to pop the trunk. Moon got out more slowly, still trying to take everything in.

The sound of the trunk closing drew his attention, a look of confusion over his face.

Tabby smiled mischievously, holding up some flashlights and a crowbar.

“Wanna have some fun?” She asked, wiggling the crowbar.

“Where did you get that?” Moon frowned.

She scoffed, handing him a flashlight he truly didn’t need, “They are like ten bucks on Amazon. Come on.” She gestured.

He followed close behind, still trying to piece things together.

She looked up at him, smirking, “You miss the jungle gym right?”

He gave a small nod.

“Well this one has your name aaaalllll over it.” Her voice tinged with excitement, “Let’s play.”

Moon tilted his head, optic widening. A smile crept across his faceplate, nodding eagerly as Tabby ripped off one of the boards sealing the back entrance.

Anticipation made his fans kick up as he helped pry the door open. It creaked open with the sound of splintering wood, dust raining down on them.

He peeked inside, smiling widening.

“I used to work here…” Tabby explained as they wandered through the derelict dining area, colorful seats coated in a layer of grime scattered around the many round tables.

Moon didn’t respond, faceplate swiveling about to take everything in: old drink cups and food wrappers littered the floor, a cutout of the chain’s mascot standing in a lone corner. It looked at them with a big painted smile.

“But this,” Tabby announced, pulling open a set of double doors, “This, is where the magic happens…”

Moon stalked forward, hunching over a bit to investigate.

This was the play area: a multi level jungle gym made of plastic tubing, slides, play areas on each level, and plastic windows. The colors were dulled by years of neglect, dust coating every surface. The room echoed with the sounds of their steps, Moon’s posture changing to excitement.

He was practically buzzing, wishing his zip line was here.

“Well…” Tabby gestured upwards, “Have at it!”

Not needing to be told a second time, Moon was off. Reminding her of a released greyhound.

He ran about like a wild animal, climbing up the structure inside and out. He was deft and fast, just a blue blur about the rainbow plastic.

Tabby sat on a dusty old chair to watch, leaning back a bit as a smile reached her lips.

Moon was laughing, jumping to the ceiling rafters with glee. As he jumped to the next it gave a low groan.

Tabby leaned forward, worriedly.

The rafter bowed before snapping, it and the animatronic falling into the play structure with a clatter.

“Moon!” Tabby yelled, standing and cupping her hands around her mouth to call out again, “Moon! Are you okay?!”

A tense moment of silence answered her, Tabby steeling herself to climb up just as a fit of giggles broke out.

Moon crawled out of the twisted metal, a large grin across his faceplate. He smiled down at her, giving a thumbs up.

Tabby deflated, calling up, “Be careful!”

“No!” He called back defiantly, quickly resuming his explorations.

Rolling her eyes, she sat back down, pulling her phone free from her pocket to pass the time. She got lost within the tiny screen, unsure of how many minutes ticked away.

A sound made her look up.

Moon looked at her expectantly.

“Play?” Moon hung upside down, bouncing a bit as he attempted to lure Tabby in. When she looked apprehensive he shook the bars harder, voice more urging, “Play, Play, Play?!”

“I think I’m too big, buddy.” She looked at the old structure nervously.

He paused, head tilting to the side. He crawled closer, “No. Very small. Fit juuuuust fine.”

She bit her lip, Moon wilting.

He hung more limply, whining out, “Star said we’d play?”

Tabby huffed, “I did, didn’t I…” she sounded defeated, making Moon perk up.

He rattled at the bars again, chanting for her to join.

Kicking off her boots, she reluctantly entered into the play structure, batting away the cobwebs that tried to cling to her hair and clothes. It took a good moment for her to traverse the maze to find the opening where Moon was waiting.

“Okay…I’m in the tubes.” Tabby huffed, shifting around to sit more comfortably, her feet up against the fall wall.

“Let’s play chase.” Moon smiled, big and wide, his optics shining, “You run and try to hide, and I come after you.”

“Sounds unfair.” She crossed her arms.

Moon shook his head, trying to keep an air of calm over him despite the excited vibration that rattled through his whole form. “No, no, no.” He corrected, “I’ll play fair, I promise.”

Tabby squared her jaw, leaning towards him a bit as she held out her right hand. “Pinky promise?” Her smallest finger offered out, almost as a challenge. Her sea green eyes flashed in the darkness.

Moon’s smile returned with a vengeance, eagerly shuffling closer in the small space. He locked his pinky finger with her own, rasping out, “Cross my heart and hope to die.”

“You don’t have a heart.” She teased, making him roll his eyes.

“Cross my wires and hope to die.” He corrected lowly, optics narrowing.

Her lips cracked a smile.

But as she attempted to pull away, his finger gripped hers tighter, drawing her closer. She winced, eyes darting between the hold and his faceplate.

He leaned in closer still, huffing out synthetic breath into her ear. “The rules, kitten.” He whispered, “I’ll give you three minutes to hide before I start hunting. You can run as far and as fast as you want.” His voice was deadly low, causing a shiver to crawl up her spine.

“But if I win.” His smile spanned his faceplate, “If I catch you….You’ll be mine.”

As soon as the words sank in he let her go, the promise made.

He sat back on his haunches, detecting a spike in her heartbeat. Tabby swallowed, backing away to give herself room to breathe.

The dust heavy air suddenly felt stifling.

“One.”

Moon’s voicebox rasped, his claws flexing excitedly at Tabby’s sudden look of panic. She shuffled around to her hands and knees, stumbling over herself in her hurry to hide.

“Two…Three.”

His voice echoed off the plastic tubing. Tabby’s knees already aching from her crawl-running. No matter how far she seemed to go, his voice always seemed close, ever counting.

Finally she found a spot, far away and secluded, that she felt safe enough to stop. While trying to calm her thundering heartbeat she came to a sudden realization:

The counting stopped.

Tabby sucked in a breath, holding it in her lungs as she strained to listen.

The eerie silence was replaced with something even worse.

Moon was singing.

The animatronic’s gravelly voice sang along to his music box, glee evident in his tone alone.

“Round and round the cobbler's bench

The monkey chased the weasel

The monkey thought twas all in fun….”

The music stopped for just a fleeting moment. Tabby heard a bang much closer than she expected, hands going to her mouth to stifle a squeak.

“POP goes the weasel!”

The singing started again, much clearer:

“A penny for a spool of thread

A penny for a needle

That's the way the money goes…”

The scrape of metal against plastic echoed off the tubes, a gravelly voice chucked out the next line, “Pop goes the weasel!”

She bolted, adrenaline fueling her. An aching pain radiated through her knees as they scraped against the confined space, the old bolts holding the structure together snapping at her from static electricity. Her heart hammered in her ears.

All the while the singing continued, echoing around her.

He was everywhere, all at once. The image of his earlier romp flashing through her head: how quickly and easily he traversed the derelict structure.

“Round and round the mulberry bush

The monkey chased the weasel

The monkey stopped to pull up his socks…”

“POP goes the weasel!”

“Half a pound of tuppenny rice

Half a pound of treacle

Mix it up and make it nice!”

Tabby crawled through a cobweb, falling back a bit to sputter and wipe at her face. A red glow caught her eyes as the flash of teeth called out, “Pop goes the weasel!”

“Fuck!” She cursed, jumping into a nearby slide. Dust rained down, the bolts snapping and biting at her. One particularly loose one catching her hair and pulling it free of the bun.

Her sock clad feet hit an old play-mat, jolting her.

Shit.

She thought darkly, the slide only went to a different part of the structure instead of fully to the bottom. The darkness, mixed with the maze-like build had Tabby realizing she was thoroughly lost in the mess of rainbow plastic and foam coated bars.

She didn’t have long to mull over that as the singing picked up with a vengeance. Looking up, she just saw the animatronic dropping down on top the the layer she was currently in, giggling madly between words:

“Round and round the cobbler's bench

The monkey chased the weasel

The monkey thought twas all in fun!”

He was having the time of his life…

She thought before running again.

Like a scared little rabbit though its tunnels, as a viper hunted it down.

She burst out of the tube, falling into a small plastic room opening up somewhere within the structure. Tabby eyed another tube on the far side, trying to crawl toward it.

A hand shot out of the tube she just escaped, grabbing her ankle.

“Pop goes the weasel!”

Tabby squeaked, falling on her side as she was pulled backwards. She looked back, stomach suddenly dropping.

Moon was upside down, clinging to the top of the tube as he effortlessly crawled forward. His face was illuminated red by his optics, teeth looking exaggerated in the low light. He looked terrifying.

Oh fuck.

Tabby thought.

This was a mistake…

She kicked off his hold, trying to make a last ditch effort towards the far tube. She didn’t make much progress.

He darted from the tube on all fours, dropping down easily from the ceiling seconds earlier. A finger hooking into a belt loop of her jeans, pulling backwards.

Tabby lost balance, falling to her stomach.

“Fuck!” She yelped.

He pressed against her, faceplate dipping in dangerously close to her face. Tabby tried to raise up, her head being forced back into the plastic beneath her instantly. Moon’s hand tangled in her hair, using just enough force to keep her in place.

A low chuckle escaped him, making her tremble.

“I won.” He hummed into her ear, body caging her in.

“M-Moon?” She started, his hold tightening a bit to pull on her hair. She winced, falling silent.

“Shhhhhh.” He hissed.

The space felt hot, the smell of plastic making her head spin. She could hear the sound of Moon’s fans kicking up, steam a coming threat if he couldn’t cool his systems.

He carefully pulled down the collar of her oversized sweater, artificial breath huffing over her skin. Feeling her tremble, he chuckled again, low and slow.

After everything she was going to die in a stupid fast food play place…

She thought darkly.

Tabby felt teeth scrape the nape of her neck, panic pulling her back into the present. She tried to raise up on all fours, unable to with the weight of the animatronic over her. Moon clasp a hand over her mouth, stifling her yelping.

He forced his faceplate more into her, biting down. His teeth sank into the space between neck and shoulder, only using enough pressure to mark her.

Tabby’s body surged with adrenaline, and…was that arousal? Back arching at her body’s own will.

Moon faltered, hand slipping to allow a mewl to leave her lips. Sensing her vitals he pressed more into her, teeth popping skin. His tongue bathed over it in a mixture of curiosity and the desire to soothe the sting.

Her mewl thickened into a moan at that, Tabby trying to swallow the sound in embarrassment. He tilted his head at the sound, tongue trailing up the back of her neck until his mouth pressed against her ear.

“Fighting so hard.” He jeered, “Yet you enjoy every moment.”

She started to struggle again, Moon propping himself up to allow her to wiggle onto her back. She hissed, bite stinging as it hit the hard plastic through her shirt.

She froze, eyes locking onto his, catching her breath.

His optics were half lidded and hungry, a large hand moving to caress her face. Tabby could feel her heartbeat in her throat, the space suddenly feeling closed in and intimate.

Moon’s thumb moved to swipe across her lip, Tabby opening slightly unintentionally. His optics were fixed there.

“Moon?” She whispered.

Gaze flicking back to her eyes, he looked like a man starved.

She reached for him and that last thread snapped. Separate storms collided, crashing into one another.

His lips pressed against hers, warm to the touch. She closed her eyes, pushing back against him. Moon took seconds to force his tongue into her mouth, curiously exploring her taste.

It was odd, the animatronic not producing saliva or any kind of moistening agent in their mouths. His tongue was dry, tasting almost sterile. She could only detect the smallest hints of copper, wondering if that was her own blood instead of anything truly his.

Artificial breath huffed out, mixing with her own as he pulled back ever so slightly. Tabby panted, staring up at him, face crimson. He licked his teeth, a smile slicing his face in two before he ducked back in. Whatever he tasted on her, he clearly enjoyed it.

It was nothing like a human kiss, mouths too mismatched for that; yet it was zealous and needy, making her feel wanted in ways she never thought possible. Tabby held onto him as he lifted her, pushing her gently into the wall of the opening.

Quickly feeling overwhelmed, Tabby broke the kiss for needed hair. She hugged him, face against the soft material of his hoodie. Moon made a sound akin to a purr, shifting back to sit.

She tried to even her breathing, legs easily wrapping around his narrow waist for stability. Moon leaned back, faceplate clinking against the plastic wall, fans in overdrive to cool his systems.

“So I guess you enjoyed the tubes.” Tabby huffed, relaxing a bit in his hold. He made a rasping chuckle.

“Who knew letting you run around like a feral animal was all you needed to open up. She sighed, teasing in her tone.

Moon put a hand over her face, stifling sounds, “Shut up.”

They rested in the darkness for some moments, Moon clicking on his music box to fill the silence. A realization dawned on Tabby, however, sitting up. Moon opened his eyes, tilting his head to the side.

“Wait.” She thought aloud, “Wait, wait, wait….I thought we needed like a bonding exercise or something because we weren’t as close. But you just kissed me!” She turned, pointing at him, “We’re you just shy the whole time?!?”

Moon gawked at her for a moment, suddenly pulling his hat down, hiding his face.

“Oh. My. God.” Tabby playfully hit him, “You were!” She wrestled him for a moment to get the hat off but as soon as his face was revealed she made another upset sound.

Optics were black, faceplates frozen…Moon had shut off his faceplate.

“That’s no fair!” Tabby stood on her knees, grabbing a limp arm, “I've caught you this time!” She showily bit at his forearm, blunt teeth clinking against the metal.

Moon made a smirking sound, optics blinking back to life, it thickening into full laughter as she tried to look intimidating.

“Brat.” He took her face to stop her biting, smiling toothily at her.

“You have no room to judge.”

S: She’s right…

M: Shut up.

~

Tabby was home, cleaned up, and safely tucked in bed, Moon waited quietly until her breathing evened.

He carefully stood from the bed, having cuddled Tabby to sleep after their little adventure. Looking back, his optics scanned over her peaceful form, taking in every little piece of her

A smile reached his faceplate, feeling lighter than he had in weeks.

Moon crossed the room, closing the door with programmed delicacy. Main directive complete he now had another job to work on…

Moon typed away at the computer, careful to listen for the door across the hall.

He was snooping again…

But this time, by request.

His optics scanned the screen, shifting to look at the medical discharge paperwork and compare information.

Yes.

He’d found it.

“Sun.” He murmured, looking over the information, “I got in.”

S: You actually did it?

S: You’d think hospitals would have better security…

M: It took me weeks…

S: True, true.

Moon read on a bit more, sighing.

M: There’s not much here…

S: She really hate’s hospitals.

M: Enough to not go for broken bones.

Moon shifted through the files, finding no record of her seeing medical professionals for the past fractures that the animatronics had discovered through scans. Fractures that healed oddly.

S: Check when she was a child.

M: I am.

M: ….

M: Nope. Nothing.

Sun was quiet, yet Moon could practically hear his worry. Moon looked further to discover Tabby made yearly visits to the doctors fairly religiously until five years ago. His brows furrowed.

S: She didn’t go after the fire to protect us…

S: Even though she was burned.

Moon’s frown deepened, remembering the multiple fracture points, healed in little knots of bone. She’d been lucky they hadn’t been full breaks, still things of that nature left untreated was risky.

S: Who was she protecting then?

[htfs-ranked-on]

could ya rank them from most likely to get into a twitter argument to least likely?

think it’d be kinda funny lol

sniffles: i just know in my heart that this man is so chronically online. his twitter account is 90% him going back and forth with flat earthers

giggles: there's a tumblr post floating around of someone calling someone a slur and then putting "/neg" on the end and i think giggles does that on twitter every single day

handy: okay handy doesn't so much get into twitter beef as much as he posts paragraph long rants calling someone an idiot and then immediately blocks them afterwards

cuddles: definitely has a stantwt account. do y'all remember the youtube 101 short where he left a hate comment on disco bear's channel that appeared to be entirely swear words? that's at least half of what he does on twitter

disco bear: exclusively fights with cuddles but other than that his account is mostly selfies

splendont: he doesn't post much but when he does it's usually to argue with someone

lifty and shifty: these two don't go out of their way to get into twitter beef but they will happily participate if it comes across their feed + they are Always having the most cartoonish fights with each other on no provocation.

splendid: he... technically Has a twitter but he runs it like a brand account. it's all convention dates and quote tweets going "Thank you so much to @(insert the most heinous stantwt username you can think of) for the wonderful fan art!" captioned over a tweet of some risque fanart of him

mime: has a twitter but mostly just posts pictures and videos of tricks he does and stuff like that. captions them exclusively in emoji for the bit.

nutty: too busy playing video games to get into twitter fights

russell: he's over on youtube posting "hamilton slime tutorials" he's not on twitter

lammy: she never actually Says anything on her twitter she just posts aesthetic moodboards and pictures of flowers

flippy: he has a twitter he rarely uses. will sometimes retweet lammy's flower pictures but that's about it.

mole: facebook user (derogatory)

petunia: petunia is chronically OFFline for her mental health because the one time she tried to get on twitter she got stuck in a doomscrolling spiral for 6 hours and had to be dragged out of it by handy

flaky: they follow maybe 10 people on twitter and 3 of them are baseball fun fact accounts