#going back tomorrow for my next shift
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First day at my new job was a success!!
#personal*#jess talks#now I’ve got an hour to get ready for my after school club lmao#but it was so lovely#they’re all so friendly#going back tomorrow for my next shift#but ahhhhh I’m so proud of myself#had a major panic attack on Wednesday for many reasons#but legit feel so relieved that I’ve done it!!#Harley was so confused#but I was legit just down the road haha#she’s stuck to my hip rn#anyway I made my boss laugh so couldn’t be happier#and I’ve had all my holiday approved for the wedding/plans!!#god I feel so relieved
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My manager has been on the clock for over 32 hours because corporate won't let her go home for various reasons.. LOL!!! THERE IS EVIL IN THIS WORLD AND ITS IN THE FORM OF DISTRICT MANAGERS
#Tell me why shes been here since the morning of my last shift.#she was literally crying in the back for like 10 minutes#she saif shes alloeed to go home within the next 30 minutes. i just clocked out and told her if you need somebody tonigjt or tomorrow call m#holy shit man i feel so bad for her
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the post grad why did i get an art degree what am i even doing what do i want in life where am i going crisis has finally hit i want to. lie down in the dirt. or something
#WHAT AM I DOING!!!!#i get up i go to my stupid retail job i stick labels on bags they pay me fucking thirteen bucks an hour i come home i lie on the couch#too tired to draw in too much pain to go anywhere no energy to reach out to college friends to do anything fun#no idea where the even start with getting an industry job no clue what i even WANT at this point#trying to remember what i loved so much about comics i want it BACK i HATE this#WHAT IS THE POINT!!!! WHAT DO I WANT WHERE AM I GOING!!! WHAT COMES NEXT!!!!!!#there's no clear career trajectory i can't do freelance i need structure i can't work too much i need free time#my brain doesn't work every job requires me to move across the country the irs just took fucking three hundred stupid dollars from me#my friends live in different states i can't get a job without experience i can't get experience without a job#i can't work on my portfolio with no energy and no time and i dont have any money and everything is so expensive all the time#i can't get anywhere bc i dont drive and im too stressed to think about taking driving lessons again#and WHAT DO I WANT!#THE MOST INTERESTING THING I DO EVERY WEEK IS GO TO PHYSICAL THERAPY!#I AM EXCITED EVERY WEEK FOR PHYSICAL THERAPY!!!! WHY!!!!!!!!#anyway WHATEVER i need to go to bed#delete later#i got into spx. today. so. had to have a crisis about how i felt when i attended spx (energized. excited. a part of something. ambitious)#versus how i feel now (tired. unmotivated. kind of apathetic about art. disconnected)#i dont miss the stress of school but i miss being around other artists. ppl who speak your language and who want the same things you want#ppl who are excited abut art and that makes YOU excited about art. ppl who get you#i miss that i want that back#whatever. its 1am i gotta go shower i have an 8.5 hour shift tomorrow. wahoo. $13.50/hr lets go
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my cats are so mad at me bc I keep not going to sleep at the Set Time bc I had been mad-dash crocheting every morning and im just. so sad for them. bc im about to fuck up the schedule even worse.
#by 'mad at me' i also mean that they've been forcibly cuddling me in an attempt to get me to go to bed#which I'm not opposed to aside from when i need to actively move my body#or my project#but also next week i start working on a day shift schedule which means starting tomorrow i have to try and stay doing a days sleep schedule#and they're gonna be So Upset#anka has never been on a days schedule and jj hasnt in 2 years#anka the banshee#sir jj the cat#hopefully i don't get put BACK on nights come april so that i don't have to mess up their routine AGAIN#shh ac
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#i ended up going back to work today and kinda wish i didnt#i hvnt fully recovered#i had sm coughing fits my line mnager started cracking jokes#and at one point i hd tears steaming down my face omg so embarrassing#but also if i didnt go in i wudve been screwed over - sm had piled up that other ppl cudnt do#so i had my teaching session for the uni students and also#there was a major deadline that was due in today??? and no one told me even tho id been asking about it before my role started#and if i missed it the next opportunity to get this type of project done wudve been in 2 years#but niw that ive gone back into work i cant call in sick again tomorrow 🥲 and im on the late shift so itll orobs end up being 12 hrs#this sucks#i feel so crap
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oughhhh new boss hasn't even fully taken over yet but she seems so incompetent 😬
#also has no respect for anyone else including some of the lovely old ladies who have worked here 30 years#disrespected my mentor :(#also wants me an my other co teacher to come back to work some day(s) in the next few weeks to work unpaid overtime#just to set up the classroom the way she wants....#which is traditionally the lead teacher's job to do if she chooses#i think she's genuinely so delulu that she thinks it's gonna be fun girls night bonding time or something#like girl i am not coming back after hours to work for free lol#anyway every change she has tried was catastrophic today but she wouldnt even admit that most of them don't work 🤡#then she left at 3pm for me to deal w closing while the kids lost thier marbles bc she fucked up naptime then didn't let us keep them down#so they literally got a half nap today but she didnt care bc she was off in an hour anyway#ugh#she's gonna be insufferable i know it 😖#my co teacher was begging our current supervisor who hasnt fully left yet for advice on saying no to the unpaid overtime#im so sad she's leaving fr 😭#she doesn't even want to go but management is evil and dumb and moved her to pre k bc another teacher lied abt her :(#i got her a nice care package tho#i was going to wait for the new boss to be off shift and go home before giving it to my current one at end of day tomorrow (her last day)#bc i didnt want her to feel unwelcome or weird or anything#but i don't care now actually 😂#i want her to know we love sarah and are going to miss her#and she has to live up to that#bc currently she's uh...not lol
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Love having to help hold everyone else’s lives together but the second I’m struggling and need help then I’m too needy and being a problem
#god just once I want what I put into a person given back in return#I schedule and plan everything I make meals for everyone and drive people around#my whole life it’d always be my job to clean my brothers room and even now I’m the one that keeps others shit clean instead of themselves#and I really wouldn’t mind if any of it was returned#or at the very least don’t make me feel like shit#or like I give people rides but don’t get gas money and I make meals but no help paying for the groceries to make the food#and I can’t afford to sustain myself much less someone else#and I’m so tired#I work all the fuckin time#just once I want to get off and relax and not have to go and take care of a whole ass adult who’ll throw a fit if I dare say I’m hungry#or get mad at me when I run out of energy when I’m going non stop#ghost rambles#hh I’ll have some time to myself tomorrow morning before my blood tests at least#before I have to go home after and prepare for a taco night with friends#gonna go wander target I still have a gift card and maybe get a new piercing#I am excited for tacos and games with my friends I’m just so tired and tomorrow morning is my only break for the next week#I have so many appointments coming up and I picked up extra shifts
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me after spending the past 12 hours or so in a blinding panic of anxiety like. hm. things are really gonna be okay, huh
#like. i have a job. my first shift is tomorrow (it's a stage shift but like i have the job it's already concrete)#(and i've staged there before so like i know how the place works)#yeah i don't have rent but my brother might be able to help me out#he's more willing to help me out than he is a lot of people#and he knows i'm really fucked financially this moth#*month#even if he can't — my landlord isn't allowed to start the eviction process til the 15th#she told me to tell her if i ever had an emergency and we can work smth out#(bc last year i was in the psych ward and she said that she understands and she's here for me)#not to mention my first paycheck will definitely be before then#i also have an interview tonight at 6 for what /looks/ like a manager position#the guy asked for my portfolio re: photography/graphic design/etc#so i may be getting like. a Social Media Manager type of job which would be SALARIED#even if not. this place pays their HOSTS what i was getting as an EVENT COORDINATOR#yeah finances still suck but they won't for long#this week is gonna let me know just how things are gonna go from here#and what i'll be able to afford#i just have to calm down and be like ok. this happened. what's my next steps#at the VERY worst my situation would be that i would have to move back in with my mom#which is not great but like i won't be homeless#just gotta take a deep breath and take one day at a time#i mean i keep reminding myself my best friend's roommate was 7 MONTHS LATE on rent#bc he kept buying... eurghghg [redacted]#and while im sure my landlord wouldnt let me go 7 MONTHS#the fact im this stressed about being on time with rent AND IT AINT EVEN JUNE 1 YET#like girl chill#ok. (does a bunch of deep breaths in succession) it's gonna be ok
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hmmm... time to agonize over the age-old question of Do I Go To Sleep Now And Feel Well-Rested At Work Tomorrow, Or Do I Stay Up For Another Hour And Watch One More Episode Of TV??
#it's a little more complicated this time bc I know I /should/ go on the sleep#bc not ONLY do I have the morning shift tomorrow#but I absolutely HAVE to work some more on my Honours application once I get back home#and I will not be able to do that if I do not have the energy for it bc I stayed up too late#buuuuut.... I'm at the end of the season.... and based on the Next Time preview there's another assassin after Eliza................ 👀#gurt says stuff
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So the shift went fine but my weed cupcakes STILL aren’t here because royal mail decided not to leave them in my enclosed porch or my greenhouse or with my lovely, trustworthy neighbours
#i’m gonna have to speed back here after pilates and just hope i catch these people#tomorrow i mean#in fact i think i might make a sign or something for the door saying PLEASE leave packages on the back porch i am begging you#i don’t know how many times they attempt delivery before just returning to sender or disposing of the things#the ticket they left was timestamped 10:55am…… since when does the post even COME that early#i know my shift ended at 1pm but i was still half expecting to be back in time to catch the postie honestly#the other day i saw her going around posting letters at QUARTER TO FOUR in the afternoon#like someone explain this to me#like i live rural as shit. this shouldn’t be happening#i have a friend who lives in sheffield right next to the depot and her post arrives at about 8am#i didn’t know what the fuck was happening the first time. i was like what do you mean your post arrives before lunchtime#it can generally be anywhere between 11 and 3 here but after 3 is not unheard of#i used to want to be a postie because of this and my parents were like nah they have to get up super early to be at the sorting office#sounds fake but okay#i want to clarify i love the royal mail. MOST reliable couriers i have ever experienced#but good god why is my shit at your depot and not in my fridge#they don’t want me to succeed. they don’t want me to have a good mental health#they have my glasses as well! that’s even more annoying#i’m so tired i like can’t read. and my only glasses are my old ones which have zero anti glare and zero screen protection#maybe i will just nap#if i miss tomorrow’s delivery because of pilates i’m gonna straight up cry#personal
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Guess what, I've worked what probably amounts to half of my total hours, in one fucking month. My store is resting on my shoulders, it seems, and boy do I feel that. I have not had a moment's rest since my vacation, and uh, it's probably not sustainable? Maybe?
Anyway. Guess who's going to be travelling for hours on end and then arrive just a day before a mandatory University lecture? It's me!
#text_loke#i'm also curious what my boss is going to say when he gets back. and looks at my nightmare hours#because uh. i've worked. wayyyy too much these last few months#and i am. halfway. tempted to make a little bit of a racket to the higher ups to argue my way for a higher percentage position#because i have not worked 20% in a WHILE. gimme my 40% because i for damn sure have earned it#i also. somehow. need to squeeze in the time to read the books for my Masters. because uh. i'm also doing that#can you tell i'm living by a thread rn? my sister legit just moved out yesterday and i have NOT had time to process that#i still don't have time! i won't have time!#so i shall grin and bear it as i always do!#ahjshdd legit tho. yesterday i had barely had anything to eat due to my schedule being PACKED#i woke up after five hours of sleep finished the postbox for my sister RAN out the door for Uni at 11. and when done at Uni went work#my coworker thought me insane yesterday for bouncing on my feet with barely any food in my body. or sleep#however. it's just how i am. i can just. grin and go on with my day and function when my body is Barely Responding#i will just. not be quite intelligent because my brain is Slow#also. i was NOT happy being one hour extra at work today. like it WAS worth it and i did it freely#but also i wanted to go home. but. closing shift needed my help and i had to make sure everything was ok before i left#however. i have. so much bullshit i must do tomorrow. fuck#anyway. if y'all are curious as to where i've been these last few months. my answer is dying (work and uni). i am perished#i have barely any time for myself anymore. i'm not mad about it or anything. not even like. burnt out (knock on wood)#however. i do feel the toll. i do wish i could just. do fun things again. hopefully when uni properly starts and i go to my ACTUAL CONTRACT#i can then finally relax. right now however. not so much#hopefully they won't need me next week tho. because i cannot. at all#anyway. if i didn't already know i was a workaholic i sure do now!
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Feels like I was productive today and I'm proud of me
#worked a full shift#went grocery shopping#came back and set up my new record player#and also finally set up my tv and gaming consoles#and even finished and posted a new fic chapter#and did some planning for the next 3#only thing i didnt get done that i wanted too was fold laundrt#which i hate doing anyways#but i can do that tomorrow#before i go to my sister's for social time#we watch the bachelor#or whichever bachelor show is currently airing#rn is the bachelorette#i kinda hate the show#but social time is good for me meanty health
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#🍊.txt#i like 'deadnamed' myself today and it felt so sour in my mouth like i physically felt my stomach turn over#and how heavy masking felt bc my dad is back and he is not terrible to me at ALL but#i know he is homo/transphobic and he ignores the fact im queer and#and tomorrow when i go back to work i'll be called short versions of my given name even though ive said countless times please dont#and wrong pronouns and then all the homophobic shit if pride comes up#and 'you dont act autistic you're not autistic'#or if i am quiet i'll likely get scream yelled at again if that one coworker is around#i had ten days of freedom and now its over#no more stimming in the kitchen when cooking no more feeling comfortable in the kitchen at all#constantly watching the clock for when my dad gets home bc i have to be parentcaretakerwifeeldestdaughter#i wont be able to sleep tomorrow before work well bc my dad is so noisy#my weight is gonna be commented on a thousand times#one coworker cant help herself like one time she stood next to me in front of everyone and told them to look at how big i am#i could have died in february i lost 30lbs but gained some back when my appetite came back for a hot second and i know#I KNOW im still gonna have my weight be made the focus of the shift#its so sad existing in a world that just isnt for you#like im never gonna be welcomed into any kind of circle that is just#its okay that you exist as you are
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naps are the main supporting beam in my life
#the bin#well. besides daydreams but those are more like the ground so im not drifting in nothingness. wjere wouod i be withiut them? they r my world#i wish i would have napped longer but a got woken up by a text. i really needed my sister to take me to pick some stuff up but she decided#to go hangout with her boyfriend instead :/ couldnt you do that after? ugh. well whatever.#im working another opening tomorrow but then i have 2 days off and then 2 8am shifts hell yeah!!!#today way good aside from being so sleepy but work feels like it goes by reasonably fast.#im still so fucking tired now but im probably gonna stay awake anpther 2 hours and then go back to sleep till tomorrow morning#ack. well. maybe ill clean some more of my room the next few days. hopefully. idk tho. ack
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I NEED waitress!reader accidentally letting it slip that she’s got a date after her shift and so when bartender!simon overhears, he suddenly has a list of things she needs to do after work, causing her get to stay late ))): missing her date ))):
ANGST TIME
He's been watching you like a hawk for the past two hours - and rightfully so. You've been rushing through your tasks, rolling more than enough silverware, keeping your tables happy and stocked - you somehow managed to convince Soap to mop front of house for you. He doesn't like it. Why are you trying to get away?
"Got a date tonight." You tell him, skimming through your receipts as you sit at the bar and calculate your tips. You're not off the clock yet - you still have thirty minutes left. But the restaurant's empty, and all your tasks are done. Your makeup is a little nicer today, softer and less "morning after a deftones concert".
Simon's thankful for the mask, or else his frown would be impossible to miss. Is he dumb? Haven't you been flirting with him all week? Was this another one of your games, pretending to act innocent and coy, messing with him, then announcing you're going out with someone else?!
He feels his shoulders tensing as he watches you tap away at your phone's calculator. He shouldn't be so bothered by this - some things just need to be let go. But he can't. He wants to keep you in his back pocket, or in an empty whiskey bottle on his liquor shelf - not the one behind the bar, but the personal collection in his room on the third floor.
"That's nice," he grumbles, slicing through a lime. "Jus' make sure you finish your chores 'fore you head out."
"Already did!" You chirp at him with a smile. "Just need to do my tips, and I'll be done."
"Did ya clean the ice bins?" He asks.
You furrow your brow. "Huh?"
He jerks his head to the whiteboard on the wine fridge - sure enough, your name is scribbled in, right next to "drain and wash/sanitize ice bins + buckets", along with today's date.
You look back at Simon, your expression now crestfallen. Your date is in an hour, and you still have twenty minutes on your shift. "Don't you usually do it?"
Truthfully, he does. He could do it today, in fact. But his brain is acting on thoughts before he has the chance to consider the consequences. "Can't today, luv. Preppin' for a bigger crowd tomorrow."
Your shoulders slump. "How long does it take?"
"Well, you got to turn 'em off - one by one, I can't have two empty ice bins durin' a shift - then ya dump the ice, wait for 'em to warm up, then ya go in there with soap n' a rag, rinse 'em out, then-"
"God, can this please wait until tomorrow? I'll come in early and do it, I promise."
He looks at you sternly, and you suddenly feel ashamed for asking. "Wot, so I can pay you overtime?"
"Simon, please - if you do them, I'll give you half my tips for today."
"Now y' dumpin' your work on me?"
"I've got a date!"
"I've got my own shit too!"
You snap your mouth shut. He's never been this stern with you, but you know it's well deserved. It's your chore, after all. You'd been wrong to assume he would do it himself, despite that being the usual. You quickly hop out of the barstool and make your way behind the bar, unplugging the first icebin.
Simon watches as you scurry around, running to and from the ice bin into the kitchen, filling up bucket after bucket of ice and dumping it into the sink in the back. You pace as the machine warms up, glancing at your phone every few minutes, then touching the inside of the ice maker to check the temperature. After a few minutes, you're scrubbing the machine as fast as you can with a soapy rag and a bucket of sanitizer eater next to you.
Twenty minutes have gone by. You're supposed to be on your way to your date, but you're biting your lip, staring angrily at the ice machine as it cools down again. You need to wait for it to be cold before you refill it with ice, and only then can you start on the other machine.
You make another attempt towards Simon. "If I just do one tonight and do the other in the morning-"
"No." Simon snaps, his eyes angry as he drops a container of sliced fruit onto the bar. "This is part of havin' a job."
You look away from him, tears stinging your eyes now. You're so frustrated you want to snap back at him - but he's right, isn't he? Maybe you could ask him if you could just call Max and let him know you'll be running late - but the thought of asking Simon for anything right now (other than more chores) makes you queasy.
Simon doesn't know where the anger came from, but it's still simmering. He watches as you continue to run back and forth, filling up the old ice bin, unplugging the second one, dumping the ice in the back... he's refilling the bloody Mary mix and restocking the bitters. Simple things. He's got nothing to do after this besides go up to his flat and sit in front of the telly, or maybe chat with Soap before he heads home. Why didn't he just do it? Because you had a date, and that was a problem for him. Why? Now you're upset, and it's that knowledge that makes him finally feel the shame that he'd been swallowing down.
You finish dumping the last bucket of ice into the second machine. It's forty minutes after your shift ended. You still have to get to the restaurant you and Max were meeting at, which is a twenty minute walk. You were supposed to be there ten minutes early - now you're going to be an hour late. Frustration mingles with anxiety and burns in the forefront of your mind. But you can't be mad. You should've done your job.
Simon doesn't say anything when you run to the back, your phone pressed to your ear and tears in your eyes. You barely manage a wave to Soap as you grab your bag and jacket and flounder back into the restaraunt. You don't look at Simon.
"I'm leaving now, I'm so sorry- I had to finish up at work and it too longer than I-" you slowed to a walk, then a stop, standing in the middle of the floor. Simon was frozen, watching your shoulders shake.
"I'm sorry, I didn't realize I had-... it's not an excuse, I promise I'm-... listen, we can go for a walk or something, right? Or go get fast food, someplace still open, just you and me, and we can try again another-"
His eyes burn in his skull as he watches you stand there for a few more seconds, staring at your phone as the call disappears from the screen. He wants to say something - but what can he say? He's already fucked you over. And he doesn't feel any better than when he first discovered your little date. He feels worse.
You stuff your phone in your back pocket, unable to hide the single, choked sob that escapes your throat. You shoulder your bag and stomp your way out of the restaurant, door clanging behind you. Your bike is still in the alley out back, and your unfinished tips are still on the bartop. He wouldn't be surprised if you never come back to collect them.
Soap emerges from the kitchen breaking Simon from his thoughts and wiping his hands on a rag. "Real feckin' kind of ye, Ghost. Never seen such a right cunt." He glares at Simon, before slapping the rag on the table and heading back into the kitchen. His shift was over, too.
Simon has three more hours left to deal with himself before the bar closes.
#bartender ghost#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#simon riley#ghost#ghost x reader#ghost x you#cod#ghost cod#call of duty#cod x reader
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I've got a gap between tenancies so I'm going home inbetween and apparently most of my co-workers didn't know and I didn't know how you bring it up but I think responding to them asking if I'm in tomorrow with 'no, this is my last shift for a month 😊' got the funniest reactions
#work tag#there wasnt really many opportunities to bring it up organically until today so im sorry to those coworkers who had this convo with me#'are you in tomorrow''no' before i can explain 'when are you next in then?''next month''next month!?''yeah this is my last shift for a month#my shift lead thought yesterday was my last shift and he tried to make a joke about me never coming back when i was leaving#and i was like 'im coming back tomorrow' but today was officially it for the summer not back til mid September 😐#it was the shortest period i could get my current tenancy wouldnt let me finish later and next one wouldnt start sooner so thats fun#i just know most people are going to have quit while im gone and theres gonna be loads of new staff#i give it a week before they forget i worked there 😂 and thats being generous#i got told off jokingly by a few people for abandoning them for a month as if i had a choice
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