#gods this is stupid and scary but also funny so yeah

[heavenpierceher]

just played portal 2 for the first time yes somehow ive never played it before. reposting my thoughts as i played here:

I fucking hate wheatley. Little white cuck ball

As i understand it wheatley turns out to be like Secretly Evil later or whatever but like he’s so blatantly passive aggressive and casually shitty to you that i don’t see how anyone didn’t go okay fuck this guy immediately. Like he’s clearly acting as a sort of arm of aperture itself which constantly bombards you with like jokingly ableist/eugenicist/classist/misogynistic shit

like the juxtaposition of him being a huge asshole because he thinks you have brain damage and the announcer being like ‘ok if you’re old or stupid go back to your Primitive Tribe so we can have Good Subjects for Progress’ is 110% deliberate

also him assuming the person who killed glados was male LMAO

I want glados so bad

Some arasaka tower shit is happening to me

My psionic warriors find me art of chell dribbling and dunking wheatley like a basketball

Glados wants me so bad

my coworker losing his mindddddd 😂 😂 😂

I’m finding these puzzles easier than portal 1 but like in a good way. more intuitive

Also this has almost certainly been said before at length but god valve is so so so good at environmental design

HL is really good too obviously but it really shines in portal where they get to play with contrasts

the really harsh visual contrast between all of portal and the escape stages and the fact that you can see hints of it before it happens. chefs kiss

Single biggest visual improvement: the scary fucked up water that kills you

Yeah I do wish id played this earlier LMAO

glados hums me beautiful songs

I’m imagining that literally none of this is landing for chell like she doesn’t care. and/or glados is just making shit up and so chell also doesn’t care

wheres the dev thing where they were like ‘chell doesn’t talk because she’s just fucking pissed’

She's literally obsessed with me

Genuinely why does anyone like wheatley I'm gonna crush this little shit like a soda can

Guy accuses a woman who has literally never spoken to him or responded to a thing hes said of being bossy

At least the ways in which cave johnson sucks are really funny

i was talking about how wheatley is kind of a stand-in for aperture as an entity and i think cj is a continuation of that. like the above screenshot lines up as being an evolution of cj’s distaste for the ‘lab boys’ and ‘bean counters’; a top-down disdain for the people actually making ‘progress’ possible and keeping things running

me when i have 60 dollars

Valve in particular has a way of making its social commentary so pointed and over the top that its funniness almost but not quite overshadows the point it’s making. In a good way let me be clear

Like it’s so ridiculous you almost forget it’s criticizing/interrogating real phenomena that it’s honestly not depicting that absurdly because everything is very very intentional

i like the idea of chell being like. essentially an ordinary uninvolved person as much as she can be just thematically. glados is petty in the way that humans are petty, she chooses insults that are like… low-hanging fruit because of the environment she was cultivated in, so i think it’s both funnier and more thematically resonant if chell is like. Not even a little bit emotionally affected by glados fucking with her she’s just like Get me out of hereeeeee

A lot of people’s theories about this game seem to rely on glados being truthful which is fucking hilarious

woman who is making shit up to fuck with you: I am making shit up to fuck with you gamers: goly FUCK theory #CONFIRMED?????????????

aw hell no not the aperture science ejaculation gel

Wheatley can you quit jacking off over mic. Genuinely discusses me I hope he explodes

I do not want him to experience pleasure in any form much less as a result of my actions

The fucked up turretcubes are very cute though. Like hermitcrabs

Oh hey it’s the part where he kills me

this is a really good visual gag

Genuinely how does anyone admit to wanting to fuck wheatley how is that not an incredibly embarrassing thing to admit to

how sexist the adventure sphere is was funny and again it is not common for me to say that. valve just knows what they're doing

She’s holding my hand…

Rent free in her fucking head

Rent. Free.

Literally obsessed with me.

I don’t think it’s supposed to do this but it’s on a black screen with no options and has been for like five minutes and i sat there for the entire five minutes like ‘wow this is so poignant…’

Anyway yeah that kicked ass

[nullians]

My life is a crack fanfic and for the first time I’m actually going to make it so myself

[winter-kh-sideblog]

Axel from chain of memories is just so funny as a concept. I’m Obsessed with him

It’s like if the horrifying assassin sent to kill you was a minimum wage employee going through a divorce. And he didnt feel any guilt or apprehension about trying to kill you, (a random child LITERALLY just trying to find and hug your friends) but he Was lazy (depressed) as heck and hated his job. And trying to kill you faster so he could depression nap.

And his one source of joy was scaring the crap out of people and torturing them to death.

And ALSO he was a single dad struggling to work two jobs who loved his kids dearly but that did not make him a Better person or more likely to spare you .

The ONLY chance u have of survival comes down to whether or not he’s lazy enough to give up and depression nap.

The kids maybe make him More likely to stay and kill you because hes secretly worried he’s a bad father and he doesnt have to face up to Having Conversations About Feelings and Admitting He Cares About His Kids for however long hes scaring u.

He has stupid goth makeup with little clown looking teardrops under his eyes and a stupid catchphrase. He barely gets payed and has like no vacation days and is overworked because his company is stupidly short staffed and his ex husband is his manager and keeps sending him to assassinate his few remaining coworkers and hes too low in the company to argue and explain why this is a stupid idea. And management being like “ugh its like you dont even care about this job and you just wanna do the bare minimum and clock out. Now go kill your coworkers”

And ALSO its so funny because you dont know ANY of this

Imagine a scary horror clown man trying to murder you and you are About to die and then the horror clown’s alarm goes off and hes like “oh thank god its union mandated paid ten minute break. They CANNOT make me work in this time Fuck yeah goodbye loser” and he just Teleports across the room and is immediately on the phone like “babe STOP texting me . I DONT want you back. Maybe stop trying to kill our employees if youre so mad about us being short staffed. WAIT did you send me here to die. Was this a murder attempt. Hello?!?! HELLO?!??? DONT HANG UP ON ME?!??” And then he sighs and shrugs and starts reapplying glimmer eyeshadow until another alarm goes off and hea like “ewwwwwww work time.” And he stares at you like hed rather do anything in the world than resume your death fight. And then he stabs you with an on fire weapon and starts evil cackling with his full chest

Literally no one else will ever be him

[wisteriagoesvroom]

a couple of people have asked for a carlos POV of in theory and actually. thinking about it. it's pretty funny. imagine being carlos, carlos who gets everything in his life he's ever wanted carlos, carlos who feels he has nothing further to prove to anyone carlos (this is a lie btw), carlos who gets saddled with OSCAR, who barely tolerates him, as an executive assistant.

oscar who shows few emotions. doesn't give a f about seniority. thinks carlos is incredibly arrogant (he's not wrong here but, like recognises like.) oscar who knows carlos can't even do his own expenses without having an emotional support espresso or spending half an hour whining to oscar even though he did it himself years before oscar even joined, etc etc.

and carlos has to. endure it. while oscar blatantly ignores his charm offensive and his attempts at being jovial and his bad bilingual puns and carlos, because everyone usually loves carlos, and he-- he just. he cannot for the life of him figure out why he's also so compelled by this australian dude. doesn't know what to do with himself. just keeps interactions to a transactional minimum and puts up a front like he is soooo curt and uncaring about everything but. the warmth seeps through anyway, a vine that's destined to grow despite his attempts not to let it.

so what, if carlos lies awake in bed with racing thoughts too late at night thinking of revenues and EBITDA and platinum tiers and air miles. so what, if this sometimes bleeds into thoughts regarding his work-life balance or lack thereof, and therefore, oscar's stupid little hair swoop, his frown. his insane excel sheet formulas that even carlos, MBA graduate, takes a second to understand. oscar and his indifference and his scary efficiency and the way he talks a bit too fast when he's tipsy and his ice cold hands.

(at the christmas party with yuki. carlos pretends not to listen but hears every word. why would oscar tell yuki all that, and not him, when he’s tried to ask about oscar's interests before? anyway.)

and then. the christmas gifts happen and carlos thinks he's crossed a line. was the terrarium too far, he wonders. normally people love it when carlos is thoughtful like that. his exes even said so. but no! oscar takes the terrarium, the one carlos made a specific detour for on an airline that he couldn't even get miles on!

and oscar just. stares, and stares at the terrarium. then he gives carlos this...look. and it gets embarrassingly intimate and carlos "really does have to go take his call" even though the client did say it is fine to switch to email because, christmas. yeah. and then he's thinking about it the whole way back to madrid too.

then oscar QUITS on CHRISTMAS DAY (rude) for no explainable reason and carlos is like oh my god is it really ME. how can anybody not like ME ? reddit, AITA???

so carlos mulls on it. carlos wants to atone. just maybe. set things straight. let oscar know that. actually. all feelings aside, he was really an excellent EA and carlos wishes him the best with everything. he maybe sends a text to thank him with those very words. but christmas eve comes and goes, and so does christmas day, and there's no reply at all from oscar. what the hell, carlos thinks. no i can't have him leave and there's so much in my email that i – i didn't even say. he just. needs to let oscar know that he appreciated it.

(he doesn't know what "it" is per se. just that. he feels strongly. so he needs to do something about that.)

soooooo then carlos, who values for family more than anything in the world, spends christmas day just only half paying attention to things going on and thinking jesus, what did i do. and his sisters are like, hermano, please just. get it together and sort this out if you care so much. we'll be fine with mamá and papá and piñón okay there's roast ham for days. and his ma is like: "if you are visiting someone at least pack some dessert. where are your manners". and carlos is like "what". and his mum is like: "did i not teach you anything at all. are you or are you not a sainz". so carlos just takes his tiramisu and his sister's teasing and. he goes. might even try to pull a favour from a client to use a private jet and get there in time.

he flies back to the city in a fit of possible stupidity to try and clarify... his feelings for oscar his professional record and integrity.

and then. oscar is. actually HAPPY he is there.

(carlos knows he's happy, not because oscar's face changes. but because oscar puts his actual plant shears down in order to talk to him. which in oscar-world is a very big deal really. before, oscar always used to look like he wanted to stab carlos with a pen when carlos spoke to him. and if carlos were truly honest with himself, and hindsight being 50/50, well– he'd say that actually, the times oscar looked like he wanted to stab him were actually some of the moments he felt most alive.)

and the rest is... well.

you know how it ends.

[shadesoflsk]

LOVE, OR THE LACK THEREOF

pairing: vendetta!leon x fem!reader.

summary: Leon and you have been divorced for a year now. It’s been one hell of a year between his missions and his new lover: alcohol. He thinks he’s doing just fine, after all you’re the one who’s missing out — or so he thinks. It’s until he has fallen ill that he realizes how lonely he is.

warnings: Kinda angsty, arguments, hurt/comfort, Leon is a bit mean but he gets better, mentions of being sick, vomiting wounds, scars, implied happy ending.

word count: 4k (dear god)

Ragged breaths filled Leon’s dark room as he gasped for air. It all started with a simple headache which he ignored since it was just that, a headache. It wasn’t supposed to develop into something more because he is Leon S. Kennedy he just can’t fall ill. However, the way he stumbled into a wall was a sign of how sick he actually was. 

He cursed the wall, as if it was the one who got into Leon’s way. He felt weak, physically and emotionally. Physically because the pain he was feeling was almost unbearable. Besides the scars that adorned his back and abdomen he felt as if his insides were being split open — he blamed himself — not his missions, not the alcohol. He’s being weak, he’s being a crying baby, he’s being everything he despises in someone. 

And emotionally because he feels like shit. The alcohol has taken a toll on him. Before the divorce he used to drink now and then. Just on special occasions when his darling and him would go on dates. He loved wine — it made him feel so fancy and classy. He used to be like that. Now he’s just the shell of a man. But he doesn’t blame himself for that, he blames you. 

He knew he was being irrational, you did nothing but support him on every step he made. After both of you said “I do” you promised you would go through hell just to make him happy, you promised you would stick with him in good and bad, in sickness and in health. But no one prepared you for the time where he would push you away. You cried, begged and pleaded. You knew Leon had an habit of pushing away people he loved — but you were his wife, the woman he promised to love until the day where his blonde hair turned into a white color, where his stride would be replaced by a limping and unsteady walk proof of the years he has on his back. Yet, after 3 years he decided he had enough. 

“Enough of what?” You bawled with tears filling your eyes as Leon decided to turn on his back and avoid eye contact with you. You clenched your fists — you were never the violent type yet you wanted to hit a wall by the way Leon was throwing away 3 years of marriage. But no matter how much you tried, your question was responded with a dead silence. 

Why was Leon remembering all of this? Simple: because he realized how fucking lonely he was. Back when the two of you were married he used to pretend he was fine. “Baby, you have been coughing since morning.” you often said as you noticed how red Leon was from holding another cough. With a giggle, you would press your hand against his forehead. “A fever,” you added with a worried tone in your voice. Leon only scoffed, waving his hand in a dismissively way as if you were being dramatic. Yet, he never refused your treatments. For a few days you pampered your husband in a way only he knew. You dragged him to bed, made him swallow the pills he hated because they tasted funny. But you also were a nurturing lover — laying on bed next to him even when he protested that you were going to get sick too. “That just means you will have to take care of me,” you retorted with a warm laugh spooning him the way he loves it. Yes, the big and scary man loved being the smaller spoon.

With shaky hands he reached his cellphone. He knew it was a mistake on his part. He was breaking the promise he made to himself. He felt stupid, no, he was stupid. Pushing away the person he loved the most just for the “sake” of protecting you? Yeah, he was. But he wasn’t perfect, God how he wanted to feel like that yet he was flawed, weak and helpless without his rock, without his sunshine. But moreover, he felt selfish. After a year of being away and not even contacting you and suddenly wishing to hear your voice but to specially, see you. But if he was going to be selfish, he was going to be the most selfish person you’ve ever known.

Nonetheless, when he squinted his eyes in order to see the screen of his cellphone, he hesitated for a moment. As the light illuminated his features, bloodshot eyes, dark eyebags and dried tears around his cheeks he wondered what the hell he was going to say to you. “Hey this is your husb- no sorry your ex husband,” he couldn't say that for the love of God! 

By the time he gathered the courage to type your phone number, his head was almost exploding with pain. He pressed the call button as his forehead met with the cold countertop. Seeking something cold enough to cool down his increasing fever. 

The first few seconds were the most anxious moments he has experienced. He was being dramatic, of course. But the thought of hearing your voice, of hearing that sweet and tender melody of yours which made him melt almost instantly. He blamed the fever, of course. He's just calling because he needs help, nothing more.

“Hello?” You said through the other line, voice full of drowsiness and sleepiness since Leon didn't even notice what time it was when he called. He almost drops his phone when he hears your response — what is he supposed to say? As he's deep in thought, unaware of the fact that he has left you without a reply you spoke again “Hey listen. If you're drunk don't call me I don't want t–” 

“I'm not drunk…” Leon responded with a groan as another throbbing pain stabbed his head. He sounded similar as to when he's drunk, that he won't deny. 

“I don't believe that for a second.” Your voice was laced with exhaustion but now it wasn't due to the lack of sleep, it was because of him. No matter how much you try to forget him it seems that he comes back when you're getting better, when you think you're already getting over him.

It was pathetic, really. You didn't believe in soulmates yet you found yourself thinking if both of you were some kind of star crossed lovers. Right person wrong time type of relationship. But you reminded yourself that real life doesn't work like that. Some people just aren't lucky.

“I'm telling you the damn truth!” Leon's voice echoed through his empty living room leaving him speechless by the sudden outburst. He dug his fingernails into his palm as if distracting himself from the pain in his body and the fact that he just fucking screamed at his ex wife. He was met with dead silence and for a moment he thought he blew up the only opportunity he had to talk to you, but he could hear you, the faintest sound of your breathing made him aware that you haven't hung up. At least not yet.

“Look… I'm sorry.” His voice switched up from his sharp tone to a gentler and softer one. He was ashamed of himself but right now he wasn't in the right state of mind. His speech was slurred, proof of how bad the fever was affecting his body. “I–I'm not feeling well… physically well.” Leon's words stumbled into one another as he was explaining his situation. 

And that simple sentence was everything you needed to hear. Leon wouldn't just call you to tell you he's sick. You know him more than everyone else, you know him more than he knows himself. If only your inner voice could stop ringing alarms in your head; the rational part of yourself told you that you shouldn't go. He was your ex husband for a reason. He has all the money in the world to hire a highly-qualified nurse. But no nurse knows him like you do, at least that's what the emotional part of yourself keeps telling you.

Besides the droplets falling against the windows, the ride to Leon's apartment was silent. The guilty feeling overwhelmed you as you made sure not to break any traffic law in your little trip. It took you barely a second to get your car keys as soon as you heard Leon throwing up in the middle of the phone call. A slurred waterfall of sorry sorry sorry were the last things you heard as you hopped on your car.

The ride was easy, knocking on his door was the real war here. It took you fifteen minutes to drive there and now you're having second thoughts. “Fucking hell…” you mutter under your breath as your fist knocks against the wooden door. You knock twice, as you usually did when you came back from work. When someone welcomed you with a big smile on his face. A minute passed and you got no response. You almost turned on your heel when the door suddenly opened. The scene developing in front of you made your heart ache. 

There he was – the man who once was the most important person in your life. Your missing piece, your other half. But now he was merely a percentage of what he used to be. His once smooth face was replaced by rough features that seemed only to show more as a growing stubble adorned his face. His once blond hair was now a dark shade of brown – you knew he hasn't had the best year of his life but Jesus he looks awful. Yet you can't help but feel how you still feel so much love for this same man.

For Leon, this is another story. His dizziness only seems to get worse by the second as he tries his best to keep balance. His eyes traveled from your eyes to your legs – not in a sexual way but as if trying to see if you had changed. But you haven't. And how dare you? Why haven't you changed? Leon's world has turned upside down since the divorce and you're here, looking like your old self. Again, he was being irrational and stupid. 

“Hey…” you gathered to say with an unsure voice. No one prepares you to face your ex husband. Especially when the simple sight of him makes you feel both like shit and in love. Loving him was like that. 

“You…” his raspy voice came out as a groan as his eyes remained locked on yours. You remember his baby blue eyes – full of love when he kept praising you. for the tiniest things. Now they're slightly hollow and with lack of life. “Please, come in.” Leon widens the door, gesturing for you to enter. It all felt so foreign, the last time you were alone with him was so different from this.

“Now do me a favor and shut up please! Your damn voice irritates me.” you remember how his voice had no traces of love and tenderness. He spat venom right in front of you, no matter how much your face contorted into a crying expression. You always took pride in standing up for yourself and being a fairly independent woman who takes no shit from anyone. However, your values seemed to crash as soon as the fights started. It all began with Leon drinking more and more. And as his addictions started, so did his insults.

You tried fixing him, really. A savior complex you may say. Nonetheless, loving him was never enough. And eventually, Leon made you a bitter person too. That was expected, really. You can't bend a branch without snapping it in half. 

Now, your plans for the night didn't include taking care of a sick Leon. As soon as you entered his apartment, he basically stumbled on his feet. You were quick to catch him – almost falling to the floor because no matter how rough he looked he was still 80% muscles. 

“Sorry…” he whispers as he tries to lean on your shoulder for support. As soon as his forehead touches your skin, you wince in discomfort.

“Leon, you're burning.” you state the obvious as you manage to make him sit on the couch. Your first thought was bringing him to bed but it would be difficult since your ex husband can't even stand up correctly. “How long have you felt like this?”

Leon groans in pain as he tries to remember. Everything is foggy but in his slurred speech, he answers you. “This morning… just a headache and then…this.” 

You sighed, not sure about what to do. You glanced at Leon who sprawled on the couch. Sweat beads fell from his forehead until they stopped on the junction of his neck and shoulder. You see something metallic shimmering in the dim light – you pay no mind for now.

“I'm going to damp a towel… you stay here,” you explained before excusing yourself and walked to the bathroom. There, the emotions came like a waterfall. Gripping the sink with your hands, tears fall from your face as soon as you are alone. You weren't strong enough for this, you weren't built for this. He used to call you sunshine because you were like the warmest sunlights bathing him. But he broke you until you were merely a cloudy and moody day. 

You remember every little thing, every memory and every wish that you shared with Leon. Your mind was playing dirty tricks on you – your worst enemy being yourself. You often wondered what life had in storage for you, as simple as it sounded you longed for simplicity, Leon did too. Wedding rings echoed through your foggy mind as it drifted back to the moment you first saw him standing at the altar. 

Neither of you were religious people, yet you decided to do a more symbolic type of wedding. You remember saying your vows and him saying his – he didn't keep his promises, though. As soon as his oh so called sins started to weigh heavily on his mind, he decided to take it all on you. 

“I don't know why I married you.” “You're so naive, you don't even know what the hell is happening outside of these four walls. Don't you?” Those phrases kept repeating in your consciousness as you damp the towel, quiet sobs escaping your lips as you tried your best to be silent. 

Eventually, you stepped out of the bathroom. Holding a damp towel with a bowl of water. Eyes locked on the floor to see anything but the sight of your ex husband quietly snoring and mumbling nonsenses. The fever was so high his body ultimately collapsed. 

You sat down next to him, brushing away some of his hair that was covering his sticky forehead. He looked peaceful, safely passed out in his dreams. You knew he was safe even though he was burning to the touch. Because as long as you're here, you will look after him. No matter how much he broke you.

You place the damp fabric over his forehead – a sigh of relief left his lips even when he was unconscious or so you thought. The dark filled room brought some sense of comfort to the both of you. Your hand on the fabric attempted to leave its place as Leon remained still yet as soon as you pulled your hand away, a weak but decisive grip caught your wrist.

Your eyes widen when you notice Leon grabbing your wrist oh so delicately. His breath was still ragged, proof of how much his weakened state has affected him. You wanted to break away from his grip, to pull away from him and tell him not to touch. You really wanted to. But did you do it? No. Instead, you decided to let him be. He’s had his fair share of battles throughout his life. His to carry and his to blame and to be blamed. You weren’t going to take away a simple touch. 

“Sorry…” He mumbles, his eyes trying his hardest to open yet he was still met with darkness surrounding him. The effect of medicine and booze was a cocktail and perfect recipe for almost killing him. But as he seeks forgiveness, you can’t help but wonder if there’s something else behind that word.

Was he saying sorry for suddenly grabbing your wrist as a puppy who doesn’t want his owner to leave him? Or was it for everything they had to go through? You don’t know and you don’t even want to know. Because if it’s the latter, you can’t know for certain if you’ll be strong enough to not crumble.

“It’s okay.” you responded back, an empty attempt at reassuring him. He was no fool, he was stupid for many things he has done. But he wasn’t so self absorbed as to not notice how nothing was okay. 

“No, It’s not okay…” Leon grumbled. “Look I’m really sorry for–” 

“For what, Leon?” You finally snapped, voice nearly breaking at the sight of Leon apologizing. “For leaving me alone without answers and wondering what the hell I did wrong?” Previous emotions dawned upon you as your lips trembled. At least the darkness will hide your tears. 

“For making me feel as if I was a failure in the relationship? For making me feel dumb since I couldn’t understand what you were going through? Guess what, Leon. You were right, I didn’t since you never told me shit!” He remained silent through your outburst which wasn’t really one. In his eyes, you were right – as much as he tried to keep blaming you, he couldn’t. As much as he tried thinking that he was the one who was better without you, reality came back and hit him like a truck. He wasn’t. He was miserable without his sunshine, without the person he trusted the most, without the wife he chose to spend the rest of his life with and promised to give her the life both of them wanted.

“Yes.” Leon stated, it seems that his previous weakened state faded away as your rambling continued. “Yes, for all the shit and fucked up things I made you go through. You never deserved it. You never deserved the way I treated you…” Leon’s eyes, as much to his own dismay, start to water. “You didn’t deserve throwing away 3 years of your life marrying a failure of a man such as myself –.” 

You didn't add anything else for the time being. Ironically enough, your hand stayed glued to the damp towel the whole time they argued. 

“Why…?” you asked the million dollar question. Why did Leon leave you? Why did you have to divorce? You could have faced everything, you had all the love in the world, as pathetic as it sounds. 

“Because I was fucking scared.” Leon exhales, his lips trembling a bit from his own fever. He closes his eyes trying to drown in the cool and refreshing sensation the wet fabric provided. “I–I lost so many people throughout my life… And I know that isn't an excuse but it can help you to – to understand my shitty behavior.”

Leon's necklace once again shimmered with the weak source of light that his living room had. He had his head thrown back, relying on your treatments to feel better. To feel something.

“I knew… that I could live without you knowing that you were alive. But I couldn't even fathom the idea of living without you because you died.” Leon finally let go of his own inhibitions and ego. And he sobbed like a baby. His whole body hurt like hell but his mind was aching even more with past memories of him pushing you away. 

Leon's face reflected everything he had to go through. Since that gruesome night of September until his whole unit dying in front of him. The internal battles he had to face all by himself because he indeed pushed away the only person who would sit down and comfort him after a difficult mission.

“There isn't a day that goes by where I don't miss you. I miss your morning face. I miss the way you would always ask me if I wanted dinner. I miss the way you looked at me as if I was the only man you could ever love.”

Leon was going to continue talking, but a coughing fit came into him as he tried his best to hold it back – he turned red, as he used to do back then when they were married. It brought you a soft smile seeing him trying not to interrupt his speech.

As Leon kept on denying himself to take a breath since it would lead to more cough coming out. Unconsciously you brought your free hand to his cheek. Your thumb grazing over one specific scar that he got ages ago. 

“Let's go to sleep, Leon.” you whisper as Leon finally exhaled. His own fatigue betrays his own desires to continue talking. He had so many things to say, so many sorrys to ask. So many kisses to give. Nonetheless, he silently curses his eyes as they close on their own.

Forgiveness doesn't come easily, especially after a year of grief and pain. You can't expect a kiss to make it all better but you can try. Both of you could see the light in this dark situation and let it shine upon you. 

Morning comes and neither of you know how you ended up cuddling one another. That's a lie, though. You know that as soon as Leon's words came out of lips, his drowsiness did too. Heavy eyelids followed by yawns were proof of how much comfort he was feeling at the moment and he found a perfect excuse to be clingy. He was sick, after all. He could blame it on that.

You were the first one to wake up. Back's aching as hell while you groan in slight discomfort. But as soon as you try moving, a heavy weight on you stops you from doing anything else. Leon's whole body was on top of you. Sucking the air out of your lungs as his strong arms keep you trapped in his warm embrace.

You ponder between the options, dying between his arms while he keeps hugging you like his life depends on it or wake him up and tell him to move. The first one doesn't sound so bad.

However, life has other plans for you as Leon starts waking up. Groggy and disoriented, his eyes flutter open taking in his surroundings. That's when he sees you, practically under his weight as he uses you like a teddy bear. 

Leon's head slightly rose from the comfort he had found against your neck. His bloodshot eyes have turned back into his usual baby blue ones. 

“Morning…” you greeted as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. As if neither of you have slept together like a married couple. There are many things unsaid and they definitely needed to talk. But it can wait. For now, they just want to be in their little makeshift nest.

“Feeling better?” you asked with the softest of the smiles. Your hand pressed against his growing stubble. It traveled down to his neck as something metallic brushes your finger. With a soft tug, you discovered his own wedding band dangling from a silver chain. 

And you knew from that moment that your heart would always long for him.

“Never been better.” There he goes again, a glimpse of the Leon you've always known. A smug and flirty smile yet full of undivided love. You knew it wouldn't be easy. It won't be easy. 

But the way Leon smiles at you and by the way his lips seem to move on their own accord, make you want to try. It pushes you to help him again. Not changing him because as much as it hurts you – his pain is something he can't just let go. It's part of his identity. But he's the most stubborn man you've ever known. From his ashes, he would grow to be the best agent, the partner and the best husband the world has known. A second chance in life.

[fedorah-the-explorah]

going off of the sheer amount of fanfiction i've read saying the contrary, I think this may be considered an unpopular opinion, but I firmly believe that player is like scary good at lying. I don't think he particularly likes lying, but he can, you know? like on the rare occasion that he has to, carmen will listen to him lie straight through his teeth like it's nothing and get really really concerned. because like. hello? where did you learn to do that? sir?

I don't know, watching s2e7 is so funny to me because this is the first time he's interacted with someone outside the team for a caper, and he immediately gets into the deception, fake accent and all. no hesitation. carmen switches the plan on him, and he's the one who has to relay that to gray while still maintaining the lie. and he does it! full confidence! and when graham pushes back, player pulls out the "haha yeah the crowds going crazy :)" and gets him to go along.

and hey! this plan was fucking ludicrous and stupid. I have such a love-hate relationship with this episode. it is everything to me. it's fucking idiotic. it's beautiful. it's a god damn joke. when the plan DOES eventually fall apart, that is not on player because buddy did his best with the silliest plan known to mankind. okay? he was ON it in this episode, I love it.

it's also the screening he did during the second act of the pilot. "strange people kept answering your phone!" and you kept calling?? did you have these silly goofy little lies already made? or were you just coming up with them on the fly?

or what about in season 4 when zack and ivy come to his school posing as exterminators? they can't agree on a lie and arrive at making up a new kind of insect, and player is so quick to back it up. the embodiment of "yes, and?" kid can roll with the punches, it's great.

like, there's a reason he and carmen are best friends. she was raised to be a thief and was pretty much born for their line of work, but player is kind of perfectly made for it as well. that's a guy who can continue a bit. his confidence with this stuff is both impressive and reckless, and it has GOT to keep carmen up at night. I love him.

[radioactivesweet]

Hello!!~ May I pretty pls, get more headcanons about Nyx!s/o?; Ares, Beelzebub, Loki and Tesla with a Nyx! s/o?~

(Just imagine Loki using his s/o to scare Zeus, I can’t— 💀✨)

Also, feel free to add other characters if you want ^ - ^

Ngl I'm enjoying this Nyx!s/o requests! Nyx is such a cool goddess! And yeah- Loki is definitely using her in his favour hahahah I won't add anymore character tho otherwise I'll end up posting this much much later

Ares, knowing your name and reputation - alongside the fact that his father himself was scared of you - thought you'd be as scary as you were described. Whenever your name was brought up in a conversation - which happened quite rarely - people who'd grow pale and start shivering, which scared Ares immensly, despite trying not to show it. You became a sort of boogeyman in his mind, the kind of creature you'd talk about to children to have them got to sleep. So when he actually met you and discovered you didn't appear to be that frightnening, he immediately warmed up to you, being the himbo he is. When you get close to each other, whenever he sees you, he lights up - which is kinda ironic if you think about it. Ares has his perks and self-preservation doesn't appear to be one of them. How he has become devoid of any fear towards you and instead showers you with affection is a mystery to you, but it's much appreciated. All the rumours surrounding you weren't enough to scare him away after all and he surely is one funny god to have around. Family dinner are quite funny too for you. Zeus tries to avoid them whenever he can and you can have the time of your life by frightening Zeus himself.

Beelzebub recognises how similar you two are from the first moment he met you. Both of you feared and isolated deities, whose name alone makes the earth tremble, associated with darkness and ruin, whose presence is dreadful and nightmarish. Frightnening and unpleasant, he knew he'd get along well with you. To each other though, you're both kinda warmer, despite keeping a certain level of detachement between you two. You know about Beelzebub's curse - and have seen many curses during your long life - and try to look for a solution to it, despite his resistance. Being an ancient deity gave you much more experience than his, yet helping someone who doesn't want to be helped is a difficult job. Despite everything, when you two are together, you have the certainty that nobody will ever dare disturbing you. On your own you are both terrying, together you are Heaven's worst nightmare.

Loki isn't scared of you, what he's scared of is Odin finally punishing him for one of his many pranks. You are actually the one who could save him from his miserable fate! Not even Odin would dare to punish him if it meant crossing your path. You silently checking on him is more than enough for Loki to do whatever he want without having to deal with the consequences - unless he angers you, at that rate he'd probably be annihilated, but he doesn't want to reach that point. He is mischievous, not stupid, and doesn't want to die either. At first, he has to admit it, Loki was a little put off by you. You were intimidating to say the least, but he already had his good share of frightnening deities to deal with. You can be sure he will never and ever pull a prank on you, even though he'd like to try once. It may be his last prank though.

Nikola is the child of light; you are the goddess of night. The bright scientist and the gloomy deity. Complete opposites, yet he is enchanted by you. Nikola, believing in the power of science instead of gods' doesn't really understand why you seem to be feared by others. He can see how you can appear a little intimidating but aside from that, he finds your presence quite pleasant! Nikola believes that thanks to you he may also progress with his experiments - he is quite interested in your powers too. He doesn't want you to feel like a guinea pig though, because he doesn't absolutely see you that way. You are someone he knows will be of help in his researchs and sees you as a beacon who could make humanity itself evolve. You are his partner and Nikola values a lot your opinions and beliefs. The fact that you are an incredibly powerful deity is a bonus he doesn't dislike though. Thanks to his light and your darkness, he knows you'll be able to achieve great things together.

[idontplaytrack]

hi!! could i request a fluffy rosa diaz x reader fic where reader works as a detective at the precinct and rosa kind of has a soft spot for her (more like a crush on her), so when rosa gets sick like in that one episode reader finally convinces rosa to admit she doesn’t feel good and takes her home and takes care of her? tysm!!

✧ Hermosa

Rosa Diaz x detective fem! reader

Warnings: coarse language, fluff, implied smut at the end

Thank you for your request! :)

You clocked in at exactly nine o’clock that morning. Right on time, you looked at the desk opposite of yours and it was empty. “Amy, has Rosa come in yet?”

“Oh. No.” Amy’s eyes widen briefly, shocked.

“Oh, wow. Rosa’s not here yet? Doesn’t she stay like really near here?” Jake remarked.

“Yes she does.” Gina chimed in, “Her apartment is the closest to the precinct.”

“Is she not coming to work today?” Amy asks you.

“If I knew that, I wouldn’t have asked you.”

“Right.” Amy smiled sheepishly, focusing back on her work.

“She hasn’t texted you or anything?” Jake carries on the conversation with you while you got settled.

“No, I just thought she was already here-” Before you could say anything else, hurried footsteps interrupted your train of thought. Your eyes followed the sound, which turned out to be Rosa who’d just arrived.

“Holy shit, girl.” Gina broke the silence as the rest of the squad watched her, bewildered, “You look like hell.” Rosa scowled, sitting down in her chair.

You’d been glaring at her since the moment she sat down across from you. Rosa shot you a look meaning for you to drop it and leave her alone. That was the end of that conversation for a bit. Meanwhile, she was sniffly and sneezed a handful of times. Not to mention she looks pale as a sheet. She somehow made it to lunch before you got so annoyed that you pulled her aside, “Will you just admit you’re sick and let me take you home?”

“y/n, I’m fine. Diaz’s don’t get sick.”

“Oh, yeah? What are you then? Just trying a new makeup look for Halloween?” You huffed.

Rosa chuckles. “What’s so funny?” You ask, almost offended.

“Ha ha.” She responded, “You’re not scary.”

“Rosa!” You nearly rolled your eyes, “You’re sick, please just let me take you home so you can rest? The last thing I want is you passing out on the gross precinct floors.”

“Wait a minute-” Rosa got all serious for a second, “You said ‘please’?”

“What?” You asked, puzzled.

“You asked if you could please take me home.” She pointed out.

“So?”

“So, okay.” She shrugged, “Whatever.”

“Okay?” You repeated, not expecting her to agree.

“Rosa’s going home?” Jake gasps, “Oh, she so likes you.”

“Shut the fuck up.” Rosa complains, tossing an eraser at him.

“I’ve been watching you two, Diaz.” Gina added on, “Very flirty~”

You tried to hide a blush that very clearly still showed. “You two would be great together.” Charles chimed in, “So great.”

“Also, that height difference is mwah- perfect.” Gina wasn’t done.

“I agree.” Amy shrugged, “Rosa’s always had like a soft spot for you. From the day you started, even.”

“Wow, you guys are suddenly experts, huh?” Rosa scoffed, “Let’s go, y/n. Ignore them- they’re a bunch of kids.”

————

As Rosa laid on her couch, you were at the stove cooking her some soup. “Hey.”

“Yeah?” You glanced at her over your shoulder.

“Do you buy what they say?”

“What do you mean?” You asked nervously.

“Do you think they’re right? That I’ve had a crush on you since you joined our squad?”

You stayed quiet for a minute, stirring the soup. “Um…you’re not gonna beat me up depending on my answer, are you?”

“What?” Rosa guffaws, and ended up coughing. “No, that’s crazy.”

“Well, if I’m being honest. I hope they are, because literally- god, this is going to sound so stupid.”

“Oh, just say it.” Rosa insisted, grabbing a tissue to blow her nose.

“Over time, I’ve found myself liking you as more than a friend. But- despite all the time we spend together while on the job, I realise I still don’t really know you. But I mean, the squad thinks we’re best friends. And I’d like to think that we’re close because you haven’t threatened to chop me up yet and compared to how you are with the rest of them, don’t you see a difference? I mean, do you?” You panicked at the end.

Now Rosa was stunned into silence. That was a first. “Honestly…I didn’t even realise what I was doing. It just naturally happened over time- Holt kept partnering us up and little by little, we got closer.” She began, “I guess…I didn’t dare to take a bigger step to actually flirt with you because I get so nervous, I suck at it. And- I didn’t know if you were attached or not so I didn’t want to weird you out either.”

She’s never one to talk about her feelings- she says it makes her want to throw up. But she actually opened up and talked to you. You were shocked, then you were somewhat…honoured. Maybe also a little smug that you managed to get that out of her.

You turned the stove off, grabbing a bowl and a spoon. “I’m not seeing anyone and I’ve never had a boyfriend or a girlfriend before.” You admit, she walks over to the kitchen- to you, and wrapped her arms around you from behind. “You’re the first person that I’ve fallen for so quickly and so hard, it feels terrifying, but also equally exciting. But I just- I really didn’t know and didn’t want to say anything because I was afraid of the outcome.” You managed to say before her grip around you tightened fully, and she’d rested her chin on your shoulder.

“Will you be my girlfriend?” She asked softly as she watched you ladle a scoop of the chicken noodle soup into the bowl. You would’ve dropped the damn ladle if you weren’t so aware that she had her arms around you.

“Will I be your girlfriend?” You repeated her question in disbelief, “Oh, my God. Yes, Rosa.”

She chuckles into your ear, sending a chill down your spine and made you squirm, “I won’t kiss you because I don’t want you to get sick, but once I’m better, you’re about to get pampered, hermosa.” You asked her to let go of you so you could take the bowl over to the table, and she does.

“Eat with me.”

“Yeah, I will. Just gonna set this down for you first.” You told her.

Rosa tells you to return to the precinct after lunch, but you said no. “Holt let me. Besides, he says if they needed me, I’ll get a call. I don’t think he was expecting me to go back today, anyway.”

Rosa smirked, “What do you mean, y/n?”

“What I mean, is that he seems to know about your little crush on me.”

“No he doesn’t.”

You snorted, “Please- he so does. Yesterday, I was out with him for a case. He asked me directly if I liked you and if I’d noticed that you’ve been extra nice to me. Also, it was very funny to see that look on his face when I dragged you into his office so he could see how pale you were.”

“Hilarious.” Rosa agreed, “Thanks- for making me the soup and making me come home.”

“No problem.” You smiled, eating a spoonful of the food.

“Look, this soup is great, but why couldn’t we get pizza?”

“That dairy’s just gonna make you more congested.” You pointed out. “Like I would care.”

“You might not, but I do. I’m the one that’s taking care of you and having to deal with your whining.”

“My whining?” She gasps dramatically, “God, y/n. I think that’d be you. We made out at the New Year’s party and you were whiny freaking mess.”

You blushed thinking about the memories of that night. “Speechless?” She teased, “What do you say you get us dinner tonight and I’ll give you a little thank-you? I might be sick and can’t kiss you, but there’s a lot I can do with just my hands.”

“I’ll think about it.” You shrug, a smirk creeping onto your face.

[hero-of-the-wolf]

What are your thoughts on each LU hero?

cracks knuckles long post incoming!!

I feel like a lot of people forget about how much of a gremlin Time really is. He's cryptic for the bit, because he thinks it's funny, but he's absolutely willing to talk about things when asked (like when he told Wind about his entire adventure). Yeah this man's got trauma, but at the point he's at now he's healed a lot. I also think that he's just incredibly awkward, and it makes him come across as aloof and ✨mysterious✨

Twilight is the softest dorkiest Link by far and I will DIE on this hill. He's the biggest big brother to ever brother, and he vibes like someone who feels most useful when he's taking care of other people. It's very important to him. My boy is also so so stubborn like who the heck thinks it's a good idea to try and walk off an axe wound to the gut 😭 also I know in my heart that he gives the best hugs ever and I think a hug from him would fix me actually

People like to make Warriors this shallow jerk??? and he's NOT. He's really really not. He's just a big brother and he loves to tease. He's also really smart too, esp with battle tactics and working with other people. Also this man def knows field medicine like look at him whenever one of the others is downed in a fight, he's always right there making sure that they're okay.

Four is so so clever and really good at teamwork (obviously lol). but like!!! I love how throughout LU you can actively see him working really well with the others and accounting for their skills and where they are in battle, like in The Shadow arc he ducks down so Time can land a hit and it's a really cool scene. I also love his inside jokes with himself lol. He keeps his secrets just because he's waiting for a big dramatic reveal and I respect him for it.

Wind makes the best facial expressions HANDS DOWN. He's such a big brother too, and even tho he's the youngest Link I'm sure he still big brothers all the others lol. Also!!! This kid literally made the gods choose him as a hero. At every turn literally nobody took him seriously and he proved himself and killed Ganondorf!!! I'm so proud of him. ALSO Wind is so smart. He's the first one to start piecing together the timeline(s)!!

Wild is honestly super hyper competent?? Boy knows how to live off the land. He's smart. He chooses to be silly bc he enjoys being silly, not bc he's stupid. Also he was literally a prodigy!!!! That doesn't go away just because he lost his memories. He basically started out with the master sword (as in he started his knighthood with the sword already in hand), he defeated a guardian with a pot lid, also he knows how to cook lol. He's fine vibing by myself, but he's also happy to hang out with the others too :) also yeah he has a lot of trauma and guilt over everything that happened :(

Legend's harshness to me is def a projection. A coping mechanism, if you will. Boy's got such a soft heart (bunny hehe) and he wants to protect it from getting hurt again. That doesn't stop him from loving and caring about the others, he's just more guarded about it. And despite everything he's been through... he still loves adventuring. He really does.

Hyrule's got SO much grit and sheer determination. And he's so powerful too, even if he doesn't think that he is. He's got spells!!! That's something none of the others really have. Boy's got the toughest enemies in the entire franchise, too. He survived the Adventure of Link. That's insane lol also he's got SUCH just a little guy energy fr and I love that for him

I think people also forget what a troublemaker Sky is. And he absolutely gets away with all of it too bc like just look at his face. Is that the face of someone who's ever done something wrong in their entire life? yes. yes it is But he's also genuinely so so sweet too and yeah he def gives really great hugs. Also he's an insanely talented swordsman??? Like there's a reason he's called the Godslayer™️ lol. Sky is SCARY when he's angry. He just doesn't get angry all that easily.

[luffysinterlude]

REMEMBER WHEN. . .

★ summary: the straw hat pirates reminisce on some fun memories while voyaging through the Grand Line.

★ warnings: chatroom au/comedic relief, mentions of pregnancy, cursing, takes place after water seven/pre thriller bark, ooc characters, use of yn + female reader in mind, flirty!yn + the crew teases yn a bit ><, zoro x reader…kinda..im biased im sorry 😞 + some things are NOT canon and i just made it up :p

★ an: hiii!! there is not enough one piece fanfic content on this app in my opinion (i feel like i’ve read almost every piece, all have been amazing), so here’s my attempt at making more!! also, i’m still pretty new to the op fandom, so some characters may be a little ooc. i’m still reading/watching thriller bark so pls bare with me! also this is a chatroom au because i don’t have access to social app anymore *cry*. anyway, please enjoy!

NOW ONLINE [9]. . .

yn: SIGHHHHHHHHHH

robin: is everything okay, yn?

chopper: yeah yn, is everything okay?

zoro: probably not

yn: just thinking

usopp: thinking about where we’ll be next? praying manifesting it isnt anywhere scary

chopper: everywhere we’ve been has been terrifying

nami: yeah usopp

nami: its like we goto hell, leave it, and then enter another part of it

nami: i think we should just start expecting the worst

zoro: maybe we should all just get a lil more stronger. starting with the blonde pervert we have as our cook

sanji: I DIDNT EVEN SAY ANYTHING YET

sanji: AND YOURE THE ONE TO TALK!

sanji: MUST I REMIND YOU THAT I LITERALLLLY JUST SAVED YOU AND USOPP AT THAT TOWER

luffy: oooooo thinking about what? tell me tell me tell me!

sanji: now, my dearest yn, please let me know if theres anyway i can assist you

zoro: she probably doesn’t want your help lmfao no offense

sanji: WHOOOO was even talking to you? I SAID YN’S NAME IN THE TEXT DAMMIT

nami: can you two idiots cut it out already? its like, i can hear your voices through my screen and i don’t like that

franky: yeah it’s actually kinda crazy i can hear you all…without actually being in your presence

chopper: soooo yn?

luffy: yeah yn what’s going on?

yn: just sitting here thinking about all of our fun adventures. like wow we actually did all of that and it was like…real life

yn: i feel like if i didnt know you guys and didn’t experience it then it wouldn’t sound real

yn: but like wow it was all real

robin: we’ve had some wild times, haven’t we?

luffy: LOL yeah that might’ve been on me

luffy: but we’ve survived this long

luffy: we’ll continue to survive because fate loves us!

nami: -.-

sanji: luffy’s right, surprisingly

sanji: sometimes i think about how fate brought us together…or atleast i think about how fate brought me nami yn and robin together

yn: watch it pretty boy

sanji: YES MA’AM

sanji: screenshotting

zoro: ignoring that dude. i think it’s amazing how we prevail every time. we get stronger without realizing

yn: i mean we did fly into the sky

yn: thats so crazy we actually like. flew. in the air. on a ship.

nami: yeah all thanks to me ;*

yn: thank u pretty i remember falling in love with you then and there

franky: WHAT THE HELL

franky: YOU GUYS FLEW IN THE AIR WITH MERRY?!

usopp: HELL YEAH MERRY FLEWWW

usopp: FRANKY YOU SHOULDVE SEEN IT

usopp: there was this gigantic whirlpool below us and everything

chopper: haha yeah that was crazy! and those giant monkeys

robin: oh! yes, the saruyama alliance. i could never forget the amount of fun i had during our time on Jaya Island

yn: robin i love u but FUNNNNNN???-?-?-!-? DID WE FORGET ABOUT THAT STUPID FOREST CRICKET HAD US GO INTO?!1? i still have nightmares of that stupid south bird and its stupid face and the way it made all those stupid bugs chase me

luffy: haha those south birds were really something else

nami: it’s funny because we had no idea what was coming next

zoro: that stupid “God” was next. what was his name again? emily? enemy….?

zoro: well shit i’ve forgot. it was somethin else though. his stupid lightning

franky: BROTHER WHAT

franky: YOU GUYS FOUGHT….A GOD?!?!1???!!!?

franky: was it like….you know…..THE GOD

chopper: not really sure what you mean but that guy enel really had some sort of crazy insane powers

chopper: him and his crazy insane priests were able to predict our moves!

robin: oh yeah. he electrocuted zoro, yn, and i.

yn: pls dont remind me TT

yn: he scares me because i feel like he somehow is still alive

yn: like what if hes reading our messages

nami: i never thought of it like that…

nami: enel if ur reading this please drop 1,000,000,000 berries down from the sky

luffy: i wish the skypeians and shandians rang the bell more often.

luffy: haha oh well! i know they’re doing just fine! :D

usopp: well thanks to yn now i’m reminscing TT

usopp: it feels like alabasta JUST happened

robin: well, we did just face the world government

robin: technically crocodile was apart of it

usopp: YEAH AND YOU WERE HIS ASSISTANT OR WHATEVER

robin: that’s the past. i had to do what i needed to do to survive. and i’m glad i was, considering i was able to find you all <3

yn: ROBINNNNNNN TT

nami: ROBINNNNN

sanji: robin i wouldve followed you to hades’ kingdom if i had to. i will always protect you (and nami and yn. the others can fend for themselves).

luffy: hahahaha i agree!! see, fate loves us

chopper: WE LOVE U ROBIN

franky: YEAH! WE LOVE SISTER ROBIN!

zoro: appreciate ya.

usopp: YEAAAA WE LOVE ROBIN!

yn: shoutout to us

yn: i love us

yn: i love being a strawhat

chopper: same!!! forever and always gonna be a strawhat!!

luffy: i love our little family!

luffy: without you all, i wouldn’t be as close as i am to reaching my dream! so thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

luffy: also sanji when is dinner gonna be ready so i know when to head back to the sunny

nami: same

nami: now i’m really reminiscing. do you guys remember when yn thought she was pregnant

usopp: i-

usopp: …

yn: NAMI

yn: alright well.

sanji: WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT TT

sanji: also luffy dinner will be ready when its dinner time. its mid day. if you’re hungry i have snacks in the fridge or since you’re running around this island, find a food stand

sanji: BUT WHATTTTTT DID NAMI JUST SAY

chopper: HUUUUUUUUUUUUH

robin: what a naughty girl you are, nami. teasing yn about her “almost” pregnancy

nami: yk me! but i remember being soooooo worried only for the pregnancy test to come back negative

zoro: yn?

franky: LITTLE SIS YN…DOES THE DEED….BUT SHE LOOKS SO INNOCENT

luffy: oh wow cool sanji thanks!

luffy: also congrats yn? but where will the baby stay?

usopp: did you even read nami’s text

luffy: oh..right LOL that’s good! i can’t imagine yn having a baby. plus how are babies even made

chopper: :o

nami: …

robin: your innocence is apart of my will to live

yn: luffy TT

sanji: THROUGH LOVE! BABIES ARE MADE THROUGH LOVE!!!

luffy: oh sickkkkkk do you guys think we can make one?

yn: oh luffy TT

nami: well!

sanji: he’ll come around

luffy: LOL BRB

LUFFY has gone offline.

chopper: wonder what he’s up to

yn: probably found food like sanji told him to

zoro: yeah he kind of left the store we’re at and i have no desire to look for him right now

zoro: oh nevermind. he just went outside to buy meat from a vendor. he’s good, still in my eyesight

chopper: also

chopper: YN WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME

yn: chopper >< you were still fairly new to the crew then

yn: but this happened after we left chopper’s hometown

yn: i think i was just sick because of the crazy weather changes, plus nami has just recovered and didn’t want anyone to be worried sick :p

zoro: why didnt you tell me?

zoro: you’re apart of the crew too, ya know.

usopp: interesting

sanji: you stupid ass MOSSHEAD WHY WOULD SHE TELL YOU HER BUSINESS

nami: sigh

nami: its like the most obvious thing ever

robin: i’m afraid it just isn’t clicking for him.

yn: it’s not like i didn’t wanna tell you

zoro: okay so why didn’t you

sanji: WATCH HOW YOU SPEAK TO HER DUMBASS!

yn: LMFAOOO I REMEMBER WHY I DIDNT TELL YOU

yn: YOU GOT LOST AS SOON AS WE GOT TO ALABASTA

yn: and by time i found you, i had already forgotten that i thought i was pregnant because there was a whole warlord wanting us dead so

zoro: hmm. okay. well next time..

sanji: YOU DIDNT HAVE TO EXPLAIN TO HIM YN YOURE BETTER THAN HIM IN EVERY WAY

zoro: if you ever need a safe space. you know.

yn: hehe yes i do. but i apologize for not telling you as soon as i felt…different. it’s just that we’ll always have bigger issues to worry about

franky: ummmm are we interrupting something

zoro: hm

zoro: nah. yn and i will talk later when we see each other.

zoro: for now i’m thinkin about that time luffy and i got beat up on jaya island. now i’m annoyed.

zoro: the principle of the matter was good but i really just had to sit there and take an ass beating when i could’ve handled the entire bar

zoro: ehhhh now i’m gonna go workout. if anyone needs me you know where to find me.

ZORO has gone offline.

yn: he left saying “you know where to find me” as if we’ll actually know

robin: i really hope he finds his way back to the sunny.

sanji: he can get lost for all i care

yn: it’s crazy that i really thought i was pregnant that one time

yn: even vivi thought so

nami: i was super worried

nami: so worried i was reading every book we had to find anything i could help you with

usopp: well i’m offended cause why didn’t you tell me i thought we were besties

yn: wellllllllll no offense but full offense, you have “i-can’t-seem-to-keep-my-mouth-shut” disease

yn: just yappin all day everyday

franky: so, sister yn, zoro huh?

sanji: DONT OFFEND HER LIKE THAT YOU IDIOT!

usopp: HEYYYYY!!!!! I WOULDVE KEPT A SECRET

sanji: yn my loveeeeee you know you could always tell me your secrets

yn: i cant lie i almost let it slip when i helped you with dinner that night

yn: but again, bigger fish to fry

sanji: screenshotted again

sanji: did you guys see that? shes flirting with me. might die

robin: hm not sure what part of that was flirting but whatever makes you happy.

nami: oooo franky’s quick

franky: it isn’t hard to tell

chopper: what’re you all talking about!!?

yn: nothing important you little cute doctor

chopper: >~< SHUT UP! >~< THAT DOESNT WORK ON ME!!

sanji: robin! nami! yn!!!! i will be going offline to go back to the sunny to make some snacks. would you ladies do me the pleasure of enjoying them? should they be ready before you all arrive?

robin: please do! surprise us this time :)

yn: hell yea sanji you know i’d never say no to you

nami: lol yes please! i’m kind of craving something sweet

sanji: OFF TO THE KITCHEN I GO!! GIVE ME AN HOUR!!

SANJI has gone offline.

yn: well now that those three are gone

yn: i worry about them a lot

yn: i feel like those three find trouble every where we go

chopper: same but we’re all like, insanely strong now!

chopper: and it’s not like we’re actively looking for trouble, sometimes we just want to chill

nami: yeah. but now, more than ever, i feel more secure

nami: like wow he’s really gonna be king of the pirates

yn: most definitely. we only ever get stronger

usopp: yeaaaaaaaaaaaaa obviously i’ve had my doubts but…

usopp: it’s never been because of luffy

robin: ever since i met you guys again on alabasta…

robin: i knew you all would give me a life worth living

yn: robin’s so sweet online it makes me want to cry

yn: well shes always sweet

franky: SISTER ROBIN TT

nami: robin, i’m curious. how did you find our ship?

robin: well it was just docked and i figured i’d finally take a rest somewhere. if you all hadn’t left alabasta by time i had woken up, then i wouldn’t have stayed. like luffy says, fate loves us.

franky: WHAAAAAT you just…..snuck on? O.O

chopper: oh yeah i remember!

chopper: i’m not gonna lie, i was a little intimidated by you at first

yn: OH HOW COULD I FORGETTTTTTTTT

yn: chopper wasn’t there when we first met robin!

nami: oh yeah!

yn: franky chopper omg like have i ever told the story of how i first fell in love with robin

usopp: OH YEAH she blew that guy’s ship up

usopp: i wonder how vivi’s doing

nami: VIVI TT i hope she’s okay

nami: but yeah i agree. i was scared shitless of robin but then she told me she got me treasure

franky: WOAH ROBIN BLEW SOMEONES SHIP UP?

robin: not entirely. he survived and thats what matters

franky: i mean i guess

franky: i was definitely intimidated by luffy when we first met. even though that was like three weeks ago

franky: i can’t lie he still sometimes intimidates me

yn: brother ur half machine

franky: YEAH BUT MOSTLY HUMAN!!!

franky: anyway sisters. you guys have to tell me more stories at dinner later i have to go refill the coke tanks, see ya!

FRANKY has gone offline.

usopp: well chat

usopp: i usually help him so i’ll be going back too

usopp: yn i’m expecting way more details later after dinner

usopp: or zoro. but preferably before you see zoro

chopper: i’ll help! girls if you need me for anything i’ll be with those two!!

yn: um…okay…? we’ll see u all later!!!

USOPP has gone offline.

CHOPPER has gone offline.

nami: and now it’s just us three

nami: sorry for bringing your pregnancy scare up

nami: i’m getting my nails done right now and i can’t really seem to remember our journeys

yn: its all good

yn: i kinda forgot about it

robin: we’ve been through so much our brains probably started to black out any unwanted memories. i’ve read that it happens

robin: and yn, i don’t blame you. i would’ve been worried sick if i was apart of the crew then. but since it’s just us…

yn: omg let us catch you up

yn: so basically..i had…with…and then…

nami: —.—

nami: she had sex with someone *cough* zoro *cough* and started puking the next morning

yn: NAMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

yn: TT

nami: i definitely thought it was pregnancy

robin: silly girls. you do realize pregnancy symptoms don’t happen overnight, right?

robin: also, yn. it’s obvious. i’ve seen the way you two are always the first ones missing during our celebrations

nami: well……..yeah but

nami: we can never be TOO safe

yn: mmm if you hadn’t caught on by now then i’d be surprised

yn: i was still scared

yn: i think it was more of a “wow me and zoro actually did that and it was real”

nami: it’s just….in a forest?!-?

nami: with…HIM!!!-?-?-?-??

nami: you can have any man or woman or creature you want and you stillllllllll………….

yn: i was running on adrenaline. that dude and his stupid ass candle wax drove me insane

yn: plus you both know i kinda have a little crush on the guy

yn: i can fix him

nami: okayyyyyy whatever you say.

nami: pfttt “little” and you guys are basically dating in my head

robin: i forgot his actual name but i’m assuming you guys are talking about mr. 3

robin: ah yes his wax is quite the problem. i wonder if hes alive still

nami: i was seriously stressed out

nami: but honestly, since we’re on the topic, i’m glad i joined luffy

nami: there was this one time, yn i’m sure you remember

nami: right before going to the baratie

yn: the day we went to the baratie TT

yn: but what happened before i kinda forgot

nami: WHY’RE YOU ALWAYS FORGETTING THINGS

nami: anyway when we ran into your crazy psycho ex

yn: OMG

yn: AND HE THREATENED LUFFY

yn: AND THEN LUFFY THREW HIM INTO THE OCEAN TT

robin: oh? tell me more about this ex of yours. i’m interested

yn: he kinda followed us after luffy saved me from HIM

yn: um so basically..you know my devil fruit powers…yeah he held them over my head and threatened to tell the marines about me and

nami: it was chaos. but it was the first time i’ve seen yn in combat and it was mind blowing

robin: luffy being our life saver and our little brother

robin: what would we do without him

yn: you’re right

yn: but i think at this point, we’re all strong enough to handle our own. if i ever see my ex again i’ll beat him so bad

nami: yeah me too! cause he had the crazy audacity to ask me out after i found out what he did to you!

nami: either way, i’m just happy we’re still all together. you know since we’ve been throwing the word fate around, i’m really starting to believe it. luffy has a really good sense of knowing who should join our crew

yn: he does :’)

yn: he gave me a family

robin: well we should probably go check on the boys now. i’ll meet you all at the sunny <3

robin: come back safely.

nami: yeah!! you too robin! yn, bring us some goodies! i’ll see you both later!!

yn: I LOVE YOU GUYS BE SAFE ILL SEE YOU SOON

yn: can’t wait to see u guys again

nami: ….you saw us this morning.

ROBIN has gone offline.

NAMI has gone offline.

YN has gone offline.

CHATROOM IS NOW CLOSED [0].

NOW ONLINE [1]. . .

LUFFY is now online.

luffy: HEY GUYSSSSSSS

luffy: IM BACK

luffy: i ate some meat and came back to the shop we were at but zoro isnt here anymore so i’m wondering if you guys happen to know where he is!

luffy: ….

luffy: oh the chatroom closed

luffy: well i guess i better get back to the sunny!

luffy: hopefully my friends make it back safely! we still have more adventures to take care of

luffy: wow these things are so cool i’m just talking to myself

luffy: i wonder if i can get one on the sunny…

luffy: OH WELL

LUFFY has gone offline.

CHATROOM IS NOW CLOSED [0].

★ an [2]: ahhh!! my first work is now done ☺️ honestly this was all self indulgent because i’ve been going through some personal things and right now the strawhats are my comfort zone. i decided to make it like a big groupchat because i don’t really have any friends irl or online so this makes me feel a lil better ☺️! i hope you all enjoyed.

its a lil messy because when i first started this i was about to began Thriller Bark but as I’m typing this I’m currently on the Sabaody Archipelago arc and things are getting more exciting like omg hello mr. Trafalgar Law I’ve been waiting for your debut….

if you enjoyed this please like and reblog! maybe i’ll start writing more drabbles idk. it used to be my thing when i was still using @/krazykento and jjk used to be my comfort zone. also, if you want to be friends please don’t be shy to say anything! i’d love to make new friends!!

[simpinformonkies]

YO may i have some hc about wukong and mac having an so whos a good fighter but is also hella clumsy? :P

Of course! I'll do my best! For this, I used a Fem!S/O! These are a... wee bit graphic violence, but just a little.

Wukong

-When he first met you, it was because MK was wanting to introduce him to Tang's cousin (who acted like an aunt to MK).

-Imagine Wukong's surprise when MK pulls him to an underground fighting arena and points to a woman throwing fucking hands in the ring, matching punch after punch with a man three times her body mass.

-"That's auntie!" The boy had told him, pointing to you just as you slammed your boxing gloves against the opposing man's jaw, flinging his body against one of the four quadrant poles. "Isn't she cool?!"

-...Wukong was a little scared of you to be quite honest, no matter what MK said- you just seemed like a scary woman! (It was baffling that you were related to Tang of all people.)

-Then MK pulled him into the waiting room and called out your name while he pulled at his mentor's sleeve, and you perked up from your water bottle and brighten considerably when your eyes catch MK. You stand and move to walk towards him-

-only to trip over your own feet and slam your face into one of the metal seats, breaking your nose.

-It was really hard to fear you when you were that clumsy outside a fight.

-Given something to hold? Uh oh, butter fingers!

-Trying to get from point A to point B? You trip over your own feet upon taking the first step.

-Trying to eat with chopsticks? Good luck.

-Wukong found it genuinely difficult to fear or be wary you due to your overwhelming clumsiness, but the one time he saw it fail to appear is one he won't forget.

-MK had been fighting a demon that was playing tricks and being an asshole, and almost broke the poor boy's ankle, and you threw yourself into the fight and started wailing on the opposing demon with your lips curled in rage and eyes mere pinpricks.

-Wukong took care of MK with the others, but he was openly gaping at seeing you grab the demon's arm and just start slamming him down on the ground from side to side as if he was a goddamn children's toy.

-You finished it by smashing your fist against the demon's jaw and breaking it, the sick crunching of bone echoing through the air as the demon's body is thrown back against the wall, slumping pathetically as you stand across from him, breathing heavily with blood and bruises coating your knuckles.

-Wukong found that so absurdly attractive that it wasn't even funny.

-Then your personality flipped on a dime, and you turned to rush towards MK only to trip on a stray rock and faceplant.

-...Yeah, Wukong was in love.

-And if he asked you on a date the following week, with your favorite flowers and a box of chocolates and looking so damn nervous, you didn't mind.

-And if you just so happened to say yes to his proposal of dating, well, that's business between the two of you.

-(Except not really, because god forbid secrets be kept when you're dating the Stone Monkey himself, and the 'aunt figure' to the main crew.)

~~~~~~~~

Macaque

-The first time Macaque met you was when he stole food from your house, and it was only thanks to his sensitive ears and the whispers of the shadows that he managed to dodge your punch that shattered your counter like glass, your eyes glowing softly in the dark and a scowl curled on your lips.

-You kept trying to wail punches on the monkey demon, narrowly missing since he was just a little bit faster (well, a lot faster, but he was curious about you), and he only managed to slip away unharmed and with plenty of food when you slipped on the rug and tumbled to the floor.

-Macaque had a good laugh about that for days.

-Somehow, you ended up amusing him, and anytime he needed (or, well, wanted) food, he would just shadow-port to your home and steal it, making sure that you were home when he did it just to piss you off more.

-He honestly just wanted to see you trip on something stupid again, the bastard.

-But weeks of this same schedule, this same song and dance weighed on you, and you just decided 'fuck it' and didn't even attempt to fight the invading monkey demon anymore, merely rolling your eyes whenever he attempted to catch your attention.

-...Didn't mean you still didn't trip around your own goddamn house like a newborn fawn just learning to use its legs.

-Except you were an adult, and this is embarrassing.

-Anytime you'd see- or, god forbid, hear- him laugh at you, you'd flush red and grab the nearest object to throw at him, uncaring of its value or how breakable it is- you just wanted one clean fucking shot on that bastard monkey dammit!

-It wasn't your fault you were clumsy! It was your stupid body's fault! You were lucky to train the clumsiness out of your fights, but it seems like anytime other than that its 'Let's fuck up this dumb bitch's day and make her look like a failure' day.

-...You had insecurities, so what? You're an adult, you're allowed them.

-Months after meeting Macaque- and practically letting him crash at your place, because he's like a stray cat at this point and you're too tired to kick him out- you find him fighting some imp demon, and while he didn't look in trouble, Macaque was holding his side, crimson leaking through his fingers.

-You threw yourself at the demon as quick as a lightning strike, and tussle with the creature, slamming your fist against its upper stomach and crunching its ribs, and sending an twirled axel kick to the side of its head before grabbing Macaque and running towards your apartment while the demon was down and dazed.

-Once inside, you almost tripped again but managed not to (huge success on your part) and push Macaque to sit on the couch while you riffle around the bathroom for your first aid kid. Who cares if Macaque is a demon that heals quickly? You're going to bandage him up weither he likes it or not dammit!

-You wrap the cloth around his wound- pointedly ignoring looking anywhere else- and spit curses both at him and the demon, your words lacking any real bite (well, bite towards Macaque), but the shadow monkey is just silent, his tail swaying gently behind him- the motion slow. Thoughtful.

-Somehow, that event of beating up a demon for him and bandaging him up just made Macaque move into your house, and now you're not only rooming with the monkey demon, but dating him.

-Yeah, you have no idea how this happened either.

[kidstemplatte]

Terzo becoming a dad of twin girls!! Pweaaase? 🥰

dad! terzo w/ twin daughters

(implications of female reader)

this was so fun to write! thank you, anon! 🥺i hope you enjoy and it didn’t disappoint! <3

he absolutely cries when he finds out you two are having twins.

he’s so nervous. worried he won’t be a good father. these babies haven’t even been born yet and they’ve become his whole world.

you have to eat more during a twin pregnancy. this man FEEDS YOU.

i feel like he can cook. he’s always making you the best (italian) food, making sure you’re eating enough.

he does so much research he ends up knowing things YOU didn’t know.

he’s always nose deep into some parenting book or staying up in the late hours of the night reading articles.

soon he has mastered the art of carrying two babies at once.

he is such a funny dad. so funny. will do ANYTHING to make his girls laugh.

they love playing dress up!

except he’s the one being dressed up.💀

he makes an absolute show of it. he loves hearing his daughters laugh and he’ll do anything to make it happen.

“you know, you kind of rock a tutu.” you say, walking in during one of their makeovers.

to save time getting ready in the mornings, he learns how to do their hair, and before you know it, he’s a BEAST at it and can braid hair in a matter of seconds.

god forbid they get a hold of his face paint.

he leaves them alone for ONE moment. ONE minute. he comes back. they are both covered in black and white paint.

“ay, nononononono, not before school!!”

the girls want to be ghoulettes for halloween. every year.

“girls, what about something else? we can get you any costume you want. anything in the world.”

“ghoulettes.” they’d say in unison.

he spoils them rotten, buys them endless toys, matching stuffed animals, dolls… but in the process, falls in love with a specific brand:

i don’t even know how i came up with this, but i feel like terzo would love monster high dolls.

he’s in the store… mindlessly walking through the toy aisle. vet barbie, pilot barbie, pool party barbie, doctor barbie...

when all of a sudden, he lays eyes on something new. something exciting.

a “monster high” doll.

now that’s cool.

probably keeps two in his office, each of his girls’ favorite characters.

i lowkey feel like he enjoys some of the shows they watch. i can see him rocking with my little pony.

he loves playing with the girls. he loves their imagination.

gets VERY invested in the barbie storylines they come up with. does high pitched voices when he’s acting out the girl dolls and it makes the twins laugh until they’re rolling on the ground.

he also keeps all the drawings they make him, every single one. they’re also on display in his office.

he knows what it feels like to feel unequal to his siblings so he is very careful to make sure they both get the same amount of love and attention. ❤️

if they fight as they get older, he doesn’t get involved. he knows girls are scary when they’re mad. he lets you handle that. 💀

very invested in the school gossip when they get to that age. when he picks them up from school he’s always eager to know what happened.

protective. VERY anti-boy.

“wait, you said… DATING?” he says when the girls mention a new couple one day.

“yeah dad, we’re in 7th grade now.”

“yeah, dad.”

“NO BOYS! not now, not ever. they are stupid and ugly and think about nothing but themselves.” (he knows this because he was one💀)

(you know the scene from the movie “coco” where the grandma says “no music” over and over again? yeah, replace “music” with “boys”. same energy.)

teaches them about girl power from an early age.

of course, their mother leads the conversation, but he’s so dedicated to help these girls understand their worth. that they can be anything they want.

he already considered himself a feminist before having his daughters, but after having them, he is THE #1 feminist.

when they start talking about crushes, you have to explain to terzo that it’s normal and bound to happen one day.

he just loves his girls so much, he doesn’t want them to grow up🥲

but, uh…

god forbid any boy breaks one of their hearts.

oh, he is not above pulling the satan card on a 13 year old boy.

but you know, one quick google search of “emeritus” will do the trick. any boy will be sure to understand why messing with either of terzo’s girls is a death wish.🥰

___________________________________

i hope you enjoyed and this brought some light to your day!!! honestly i’m a little obsessed😭 hope you’re doing well!! remember you’re loved!!!❤️❤️❤️

[wordyneonlights]

'And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like I love you'

Welcome back to the inner workings of my mind!! This has been STUCK in my head since yesterday and I've finally gotten it all out. UGH.

Anyways, hope you enjoy this... whatever this is.

1.3k words by the way

You've made a mistake.

No... mistake is too small a word. Mistake is using salt instead of sugar; using the wrong 'there' in an essay; texting the wrong number; telling your mother anything about your love life

This was not a mistake, it was more accurate to say that you had royally fucked up.

Like the ginormous idiot you are, you'd gone and fallen in love.

And even that wasn't accurate enough, falling created the expectancy that you were going to be caught. You had crashed and burned into love if you wanted to get specific with it.

It hit you last week, when you were washing the dishes with him, hips bumping, silence you could sleep in surrounding the both of you.

You thought to yourself: 'I really wouldn't mind doing this everyday forever,'

Then you dropped your plate in the sink at the shock of your realisation.  Eliciting a laugh from him as he poked you with his elbow.

'You all right there?'  He had asked

And you laughed and nodded

'I've got an essay due tomorrow is all,'

'We can always pull an all nighter, run to the corner-store, put something scary on and speed run it,'

'My knight in shining armour,'

'And my favourite dragon,'

You'd rolled your eyes and he laughed making you laugh too and it had just been such a comfortable moment. So warm and safe, and you'd gone and ruined it all by falling in love.

The thing was, you wouldn't have minded as much if it hadn't taken you this long to even be friends with him.

He wasn't necessarily the most open person. A lot of people thought he was hostile, mean... you didn't think that.

OK fine that was a lie you had thought that, but you'd also bothered with getting to know him and he turned out to be the most sarcastically funny, kind, sweet, annoyingly handsome, person you'd ever known. But it had taken you two years to get to that point. And he hadn't dated anybody in the time you knew him.

You'd asked him once, if he was interested in romantic relationships, and he'd looked at you funny.

'Yeah,' he'd said, ' I'm just not looking right now,

'Aw, why not?'

'Tryna graduate first' he'd said poking your nose and shifting your face away from him

'Darn it, I thought I'd have a shot,'

Your heart had been hammering at that point, you had a crush on him by then but it wasn't exactly love, not yet.

He had given you a look but had been interuppted before he could say anything. You both didn't talk about it again.

You wished wholeheartedly that you had never met him (lies) or that you had at least, never fallen for him (more lies).

You were scheduled for one of your routine hangouts, at the local bar. Usually some of your other friends would have joined you but they had all bailed.

Maybe the universe was giving you some sort of sign? Maybe this was your chance to confess. You were quieter than usual as he drove you to the bar, staring out of the window.

"You alright?" he asked

"Uh huh," you responded

"We could always watch a movie or something, we don't have to go out,"

You nodded not really registering, his cologne smelt nicer than usual today, but then he always smelled nice.

"Are you sick or something?"

' Lovesick maybe,' you thought in your head.

"I mean don't get me wrong I appreciate the silence, but it is weird when you’re not annoying me about something,"

You rolled you eyes before smiling coyly, "Just admit you like hearing me talk," you said and he scoffed

"Never mind actually I preferred the quiet,"

You took this as a challenge obviously, and began chattering to him about the latest drama surrounding your favourite comic.

"So the fight's getting tense right, but he's got this super powerful being on his side but then his legs get sliced off and he has to jump into the god he's fighting and he almost gets devoured but then it gets eaten by his wall but then the wall eats his mom and-"

You rambled on before your voice fizzled out. You wanted to stop talking before you said something you'd regret. Besides, you were at the bar already.

You walked inside and sat on one of the outside tables. You sat in silence for about ten minutes, absently sipping your drink so you wouldn't talk.

Maybe if you confessed while drunk you could play it off as not that serious, at least it would be out there.

"Ok, what's the problem," he asked finally, and you raised your eyebrows

"What?"

"Are you sick? Did one of your 'faves' die again?"

"What, I-"

"Did that couple you were rooting for break up? Did you fail another paper?"

"Hey-"

"Are you-" his face blanched and your stomach dropped. Had he somehow figured it out? Your mouth went dry and you tried your best to look normal.

"Are you pregnant?"

...

...

Your mind went completely blank as you registered his face before you burst out into laughter.

"Pregnant?" you wheezed doubling over, "You think I'm pregnant!!"

Your laughter was so obnoxious you were getting weird looks but you didn't care. The absurdity of it all had you rolling.

"This is what i get for caring," he'd said blushing slightly after you had calmed down save for a few giggles every few minutes

"I can't believe you thought I was pregnant,"

"You weren't giving me much to work with," he muttered, "I was getting worried,"

"Rest assured i am not pregnant,"

Just hopelessly in love with you is all.

"Then what's wrong?" he asked, tone more serious

You hesitated, he was annoyingly perceptive. Maybe there was a possibility he already knew you were in love with him and was waiting for you to confess. Were you willing to take that chance?

"Just got some unexpected news is all," you said picking your words carefully

"Good news or bad news?"

"I'm not sure yet,"

"Well... as long as you’re not pregnant,"

"Why do you care so much?"

"I can barely deal with you and your period hormones," he teased rubbing his arm when you smacked him, "Pregnancy hormones would be a whole different beast,"

"Whatever, you’re stuck with me anyway,"

"Stuck with you huh?"

Your heart was drumming in your chest and you took another sip of your drink.

"You know... " I started, "There is actually something I wanted to say,"

"I think we've already established that,"

You felt queasy, and cleared your throat. You could feel yourself sweating as you built up your courage.

You have to say it, if not now then when? You can't be the sort of person who lives in regret, you can't be the kind of person who's scared of big conversations.

You steeled yourself, bringing your head up and looking him firmly in the eye.

"I love you,"

There, it was out, you'd said it, it was in the air, out in the open, the frequency of your voice had been registered as vibrations in his ear, he had heard you. You could tell because of the slight raise of his eyebrows.

"Yeah, I love you too, is that what you were so worked up about?"

You should have been happy, relieved almost but you weren't, your stomach twisted itself and you let out a shaky breath.

"No I mean I love you love you. I think you're one of the most amazing people I've ever met, you make me laugh, you make me feel seen and I want to be with you as more than just friends. I love you in the way that they talk about in poetry and I can't keep hiding it from you anymore,"

You stopped talking eyes still on his.

You couldn't read his expression, his face had gone pale and his eyes were wide.

"I'm sorry," he started and your heart clenched, "I don't feel the same way,"

Oof, glad I am done with this. Just wanted to put it out there I suppose. Not sure I had a person in mind for this when I wrote it so I'll probably just tag a bunch of fandoms or whatever. Hope you enjoyed!!

Title is from the song: 'Something Stupid' by Frank and Nancy Sinatra

[makoodles]

I see bff Jake with his human best friend telling him her crazy sex stories and instead give you oblivious friend who never had sex when sex is brought up in a conversation and Jake is either suprised she never had any or just kinda went ‘yeah figured she never had it’ and uses that moment to make a perfect joke like “I could be your first 😏” or “I can give you an out of this world experience 😏 get it? Cause I’m a blue alien?” But yeah, but just finds her oblivious funny but slightly annoying cause he realllyyyy wants to tap that.

jake not even realising that he's the reason that the reader is having trouble getting laid is also god-tier.

like he'll fully be behind you giving any possible suitor an absolute death stare, because he's your best friend and he's protective of you! nothing wrong with that, nothing weird. those guys aren't even worthy of your time, anyway.

he'll make so many stupid sex jokes and be so damn touchy and casually flirty that almost everyone just assumes that you're together. and jake may be goofy and sweet, but he's also intimidating and genuinely scary when he wants to be, so there's no way anyone's gonna be crossing him when it comes to you.

that might lead to you approaching him, all nervous and embarrassed as you explain to him that you've never had sex before but that you really, really want to experience it. he might actually think that he's died and gone to heaven - because who better to show you the ropes than your best friend? he'll show you how it should be, how it's meant to feel. he'll make it real good for you. in fact, you might not ever want anyone else ever again!

[t-lostinworlds]

500 miles of fluff: peter + "this movie is really scary, but you're into it so i'm trying not to cover my face the whole time, but-what is that?" and "i mean... i-i'm cool with sharing the bed if you are"

-cutetomholland (ignore this if you get a lot of requests!!)

A/N: i couldn't stop laughing while writing this help. peter's the scaredy cat in this one. a mood. bc this is basically how i am with horror movies lmao. hope you like this @cutetomholland <3 also consider this my valentine's gift to everyone! (even tho there's nothing valentine-esque about this 😭)

peter parker x avenger!fem!reader | wc: 1.2k | best friends to lovers | prompts in bold!

You and Peter had the whole compound to yourselves.

He was yet to decide if that was a good or a bad thing.

Not when you two were in the cinema room taking absolute advantage of the new screen Tony bought that took up the whole wall along with the modified 3D glasses he helped tweak himself to make it more realistic and featherlight like you weren't wearing anything at all.

It was a great upgrade.

If only it wasn't a horror movie you were watching.

Peter's body jolted when a shadow crossed the screen.

"You okay?"

"Y-Yeah, yeah, I am perfectly fine."

"You look like you've just seen a ghost," you joked as if the main character in the movie wasn't being hunted by a ghost at this very moment.

"Ha. Funny." He rolled his eyes, pressing his tongue against his cheek to stop his smile at the sweet sound of your laugh.

He flinched when the house lights in the movie flickered.

"Peter, we can stop the movie if you want," you said, sincerity coating your tone. "If it's too scary for you, we can turn it off. I don't mind."

Shaking his head, he shot you a smile. "This movie is really scary, but you're into it so I'm trying not to cover my face the whole time, but—WHAT IS THAT?!"

Peter's eyes widened when he saw something crawling toward him, a distorted body of a girl, dark, long hair, eyes white, veiny, mangled face.

Then, it lunged, Peter shrieking at the top of his lungs as he jumped away from it, heart pounding, lungs heaving as he pressed his burning forehead against the cool concrete.

He only realized how far he'd leaped when he heard your laughter, right below him.

Peter was on the goddamn ceiling.

"Glad to know you're leaving me to fend for myself if some ghost attacks us," you snorted, head on the back of the couch to meet his eyes. "I didn't even know you could jump that high."

"Stupid 3D glasses," he grumbled, truly regretting his improvement on it. He glanced at the screen, yelping as he screwed his eyes shut. "Y/N! Don't fucking pause it there!"

"Oh shit! Sorry! I'm—" You burst out laughing, rolling onto the floor with a soft thud before you clicked back to the Netflix menu screen.

Peter glared as you clutched your stomach, throwing the glasses at you.

You only laughed harder.

"I hate you."

"No you don't."

Yeah, he truly didn't.

It was quite the opposite if he was honest.

"Come back down," you said in heaps of giggles, sitting back on the couch and tapping the cushion. "Let's watch the new Puss in Boots movie, get your mind off it."

•••

Sometime in the middle of the night, hours after you'd already bid your good nights and went to your separate rooms, a storm graced New York.

He was hoping it'd help cool the grueling heat. 

Peter was sweating.

It definitely wasn't because he'd been lying still on his back with the blankets pulled up to his chin, making sure his feet weren't out the duvet let alone hanging on the edge of the bed.

He flinched at the sudden crack of thunder.

He swallowed as his eyes darted around the room, the lamp on his bedside warming the walls.

Shit.

Now he was really thirsty.

"Oh my God," he groaned, throwing the blankets off him, shivering at the cold, conditioned air. "You're fucking Spider-Man, an Avenger. You've fought aliens. You can deal with a fucking ghost."

That was his mantra as he ventured out of his room and into the kitchen, over and over as he pulled out a glass from the cupboard, filled it with water, drank it empty, refilled. He said it repeatedly as he made his way back to his room.

But then he saw it.

A shadow moving on the wall.

There was a flash of lightning, his eyes widening as his blood ran cold.

Four limbs, twitching and convulsing as its body crawled down the stairs.

Thunder boomed.

Peter fucking ran.

High-pitched screams echoed through the compound, ones he didn't even know his vocal cords could ever achieve as he bolted down the halls toward the opposite direction.

Then he bumped into something, a body.

Peter fell on his ass with the most lady-like screech as he backed away from—

"Jesus Christ, Peter! It's me!"

He blinked, only for a second before he scrambled to his feet. You squeaked when he all but threw you on his shoulder, arms around you securely and ran toward the elevator.

"What the fuck are you doing!"

"Something's crawling down the stairs! She's coming to get us! We should leave!"

"Peter, STOP!" your voice boomed, stunning him enough for you to wiggle out of his hold and get your feet on the ground. You hastily cupped his face, exhaling deeply, "Breathe."

"B-But—"

"Nothing's coming to get us," you reassured, a soft smile on your lips. "FRIDAY, turn on all the lights, please."

"Yes, miss, Y/N."

Peter squinted at the sudden brightness, barely making out the slight tug on his arm as you interlaced your fingers together.

"Come on."

"I-I don't think it's a good idea to go back there."

"I'm sure it's nothing," you said, squeezing his hand. "You trust me, right?"

He did.

Frankly, he'd probably follow you anywhere even if it led to his death—most likely strangled by a ghost.

"See?" you hummed once you reached the stairs, squeezing his hand and gesturing towards the vacuum with four mechanical arms attached to it. "It's just a hoover."

"Who the fuck thought giving that thing tentacles was a good idea?"

"Easier for it to go down the stairs. Come on."

Peter didn't question where you were taking him next, but then all of a sudden he was standing in your room, brows furrowed as he watched you settle on the bed.

"Hey," you called, patting the space next to you. "Come here."

"B-Beside you?"

"I mean…I-I'm cool with sharing the bed if you are," you said, smiling shyly.

With heated cheeks, Peter climbed onto your twin-size bed, leaving enough space in between as he lay still, flat on his back, staring at the ceiling.

"That was so embarrassing," he grumbled, rubbing a palm over his warm face.

"Nothing to be embarrassed about. Horror movies just aren't for everyone and that's okay."

He turned to you. "You don't think I'm a coward?"

"Absolutely not," you said without hesitation, laying on your side to fully face him. "You're one of the bravest men I know, Pete."

"Except with creepy-looking ghosts."

"Yeah, except that," you giggled. "Go to sleep."

He sighed, smiling sadly. "I can't. It's stuck in my head."

You hummed, shuffling closer, the tip of your nose nudging his.

Peter held his breath, letting it out as a low hum when his lips met yours.

At last.

Fingers in his hair, your sweet sighs tickling his cheek, a taste of mint mixed with the taste of you was all that ran through his mind, rendering him dizzy, breathless.

"Does that help?" you whispered after a moment, thumb caressing his cheek tenderly.

Peter smiled. "Only when it includes cuddles."

You laughed, opening your arms wide, and he didn't even hesitate as he snuggled into them, cheek against your chest, your steady heartbeat and the warmth of your skin lulling him to sleep.

"Good night, Peter."

Who would've thought his cowardness when it came to horror films would finally get him the girl of his dreams?

⤷ still accepting asks & requests! come join and frolic with me!

BLOG NAVIGATION • MAIN MASTERLIST

↬ thank you for reading! reblog & leave a comment if you enjoyed. feedback is always appreciated!

✉ NO TAGLIST: go follow @t-lostinlibrary​​​ and turn on notifications to get updated on my works!

© t-lostinworlds, 2023 ✘ I do NOT give any permission to repost, translate, & use any of my works (writings, gifs, dividers, etc.) on any platform, with credit or otherwise. Please respect that. Thank you.

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

HIII THABK U FOR THE TRIVIA AND ASHE SONG before i take forever 2 answer those or forget here is a blank ticket to please please talk about prime defenders and their AWFUL emotional literacy and processing skills i would literally love to read that essay so much ive also been thinking about it incessantly. big eyes staring up at u.png. ok ok peace out GOODNIGHT !!!! <33

i lied actually im not going to bed im judt thinking about this ans listening to St. John on a loop now. hello catkiss.gif i forgot how youve filled me with so much joy. that cat is so fuckign cute

anyway. hi :) prime defenders huh. this is gonna be less of an essay and more of a sleepy ramble but ohhh i have so many thoughts. they all process things so differently and none of them are good at it they all need therapy so bad. ms.g where is the hero therapy why didnt you build that into w.a.t.c.h ma'am

vyncent is probably the best at actually processing things out of all of them, he just internalizes everything to the point where he wont talk about it unless hes pushed past the breaking point. vyncent is actually very.. emotionally intelligent? i want to say mature but that feels like im singling him out because hes the oldest. i just feel like because he grew up on Fauna and had to be in basically survival mode in a world full of monsters trying to kill you.. that makes a person grow up quicker than they should. i think vyncent had a good childhood and for the most part his parents took good care of him but just.. living in that world doesnt seem like it leaves room for a whole lot of expressing emotions. vyncent is good at quick analysis of a situation, but unless a problem directly interferes with the current goal he doesnt externalize it to everyone else. but bottling up his feelings and emotions just builds up pressure over time until something like the lich makes him blow up and let it all out at once, usually in a dramatic monologue format bc condi is really good at those god damn it. also they played off the fact that vyncent said all of that to the lich and then missed his attack as a funny thing but i like to think of it as. he got too overwhelmed w his emotions and lashed out too soon it made his fighting messy. vyncent is so angry and honestly after what hes been through he deserves to be !!!!

william wisp. my boy. god hes just like me fr so much so that it physically hurts sometimes. anyway. i always think back to the scene where theyre all in the cabin talking about themselves/sharing backstories and william keeps desperately trying not to talk about himself. the fact that hes so ashamed of his powers he hides wisp form every time. two of his powers are LITERALLY a) turning invisible and b) turning intangible, usually as an excuse to leave whatever situation hes in ("accidentally" falling through the floor at opportune moments in season 1) . theres. a thing that happens at the end of episode 13/beginning of epidode 14 that youre really close to and i wont spoil yet but god it has to do with this so extremely much please come back to my inbox when you get there. youll know what it is trust me. um. yeah. so anyway. i think a lot of this comes from a place of. he doesnt want anyone to be scared of him. williams not stupid hes incredibly smart and insightful he knows his powers are objectively SCARY. hes scared of himself constantly, he doesnt want anyone else to feel that way about him, so he shifts focus whenever those aspects of himself are brought up because if someone were to think about it for any amount of time theyd realize the truth that hes scary and dangerous to be around (<< william logic. hey remember how one of the reasons he originally left deadwood was because the monsters there were attracted to the wisps and therefore Him so he left to keep his friends/family out of danger)

i think a lot about williams death and the immediate aftermath, i dont know how much you actually know and how much of this comes later but . how does he go home after waking up from that. his parents know about his powers, so they MUST know what happened. what do you think he told them when he god home muddy and dirty and broken and probably bloody after being missing for. god knows how long. how does he look his mother in the eyes and tell her her little boy is dead. but hes also not because hes standing right in front of her. how the fuck do you think he felt the first time he went into wisp form and saw his body laying there !!! of course he wouldnt want to talk about that!!!! youre gonna have to pry william wisps emotions from his cold dead hands !!!!!!!

dakota's response to the ashe situation was to run away in the woods and do nothing but train for 10 months. he didnt think about it for 10 months. i dont even have a whole lot to say about dakota other than like. stunned silence whenever his inability to process trauma is brought up because grizzly does such an incredible job at being like "you ask dakota how hes doing and his face is just blank" << paraphrased actual quote from an episode i cannot remember which one. either 11 or 12 ?

also because im thinking about him im including ashe in this. we didnt get to see a whole lot of his canon reactions to extreme emotional situations so a lot of this is just coming from My Mind but ashe seems like hed be the type to repress a lot of his emotions too. being alone in your house/in your room for extended periods of time will do that to a guy. i think he feels a lot of things and will probably very openly cry/scream/get angry when hes alone but as soon as he knows another person is there he can immediately flip the switch to turn it all off like nothing happened. very much a deadpan "im fine." if someone asks how hes doing, even if hes got like. the remainder of tear tracks down his face. cannot physically express his emotions in the presence of someone else