#goddamn she’s got an amazing singing voice

[idkimoutofideas]

one big bed showed up on one of my spotify playlists and now I’m obsessed

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Rewatching Shadow and Bone so here are some of my favourite little details that I haven’t seen loads of people talk about (this is almost definitely just part 1 so stay tuned)

The bird cage in Heleen’s office

The masks on stalls in the Ketterdam streets, including Komedie Brute masks, what look like the Jackal masks, and what I believe might have been a sun summoner mask

The song that Ravkan soldiers in Mal’s unit sing whilst they march in s1e4 is the Kerch drinking song Nina sings for Inej on the boat in Six of Crows

Matthias’ hesitation before saying “I feel nothing for you” and Nina replying “then I guess that makes you good at your job” is SO reflective of Matthias’ realisation that Brum didn’t have to drown the good parts of himself to do terrible things the way Matthias always did; Matthias had grown to admire Brum for what he believed was the ability to silence the good in himself in order to do what “must be done” because he found that so difficult to do, and acknowledging that Brum didn’t find those things difficult the way he did was one of the most important moments of being able to separate himself from the Drüskelle beliefs and begin to understand that what he went through was actually abuse and what’s implied to be at least similar to Stockholm Syndrome (I’ve written at length about this and if I get going I’ll never stop, so if anyone wants to know more lemme know and I’ll tag you in my post about it)

“Pomdrakon Players”, the group the Crows join to infiltrate the Little Palace, references Ravkan desert “Pomdrakon” where you soak raisins in brandy then set them on fire and try to grab them in the dark that Nina tells Matthias about on the ice

This isn’t an observation I just thought you’d all like to know that when I was watching the map room scene in episode 4 every time Alina said ‘Aleksander’ I repeated her in a stupid voice, which was really unfair to Alina because she doesn’t know but it was a genuine reaction and I stand by it because screw the Darkling

The comment that the Fjerdans don’t mark ash tress because they’re scared, I love that. I wonder if they pray when they mark trees, like they do when they cut them down? I personally got the impression that all trees were precious but ash trees were sacred when I read the book

The valve to turn out the lights in the Royal Archives Heist because all the lighting is gas powered!! Like I know this probably was just a thing we knew without really thinking about but it’s also really cool in that it reminds us about the class difference between the Crows and the others since, at least in the books, gas lighting isn’t as common to the Barrel as candles and bone lights are but is implied to be more common among the Merchants

Also not an observation but “you’re the quarter master, aren’t you?” “Yep” *wallop* will never not be hilarious and iconic

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the costume department for this show were goddamn miracle performers thank you for your service. I’ve banged on about the symbolism in the costumes before so I won’t now, but I have really only talked about s2 so I guess if you want more I could talk about s1

“No guns” *walking past Jesper* “no knives” *walking past Inej* “no weapons of any kind” *wait where’s Kaz* will always be fabulous

I genuinely have no idea how they did the Tailoring on Alina’s hair when Genya first does it for her but it is incredible like I don’t know exactly what changed but it just… I don’t know, it’s amazing

[chyaptagolap]

love isnt what they say but what they choose to do. somethings they dont "have" to do but nonetheless simply choose to because that's what love is about. love is , my best friend choosing to go to his college 1672kms away in chennai a day before his semester starts because he doesn't want to miss my birthday. love is, the friend who hasn't even seen me in real, choosing to send me a voice note in the middle of a very chaotic family dinner because i have my entrance tomorrow and she wants to assure me in her own voice ill be okay because she thinks im special. love is, my friend who's only ever spent a single day with me calling me over phone 2 times a day because i make him happy. love is, my friend choosing to post me to her favorite love song because we cannot dance to it like a married couple due to geographic division. love is, my sister choosing to boast to all her friends about me even though she's 10 times more amazing than i am. love is, my favourite junior choosing to dance to ambarsariya even tho she hasn't ever before danced in her life because she wabted to make my farewell special. love is, my friend choosing to bake a cake for my birthday even though im 514kms away and sending me videos of it while singing happy birthday to me. love is, my cousin choosing to send a rakhi to me he made with his own hands because i couldn't go for raksha bandhan, even though i shouldve be the one sending him a rakhi. love is, my brother choosing to get me a cat because he thinks i deserve it after 12 years of torture in school. love is, my friend running over to my house with roses and lotuses and daisies because my parents were being mean and not letting me out. love is, my friend choosing to show up at the goddamn hospital in 15 minutes' time from her uncle's wedding because my sister pranked her saying i broke my arm. love is, my friend choosing to stand up to the teacher infront of the whole class because i was being berated for something i didn't do. love is, my friend from 2000kms away choosing to fly to kolkata just to see me. love is, my friend telling the school librarian how im fond of books so she would let me into the restricted section.love is, my friend choosing to go to the mandir to pray for me because i got sick during exams. maybe the love we've been searching all along, has been here the whole time.

[measuredingold]

to be in love and to be loved

chapter five: the liars club

authors note: helllooo ! i meant to post this last night but forgot... oops ! anyways, new chapter yay ! it was fun writing this and it's mainly in noah's pov. some parts hurt me to write so sorry for any pain caused ? feelings are just hard to figure out. anyways, as always enjoy and feedback is always appreciated :)

pairing: noah sebastian x ofc x nicholas ruffilo

masterlist / cross-posted on ao3

word count: 8.6k

cw: ~kissing~, angst, feelings not being understood, someone (noah) is stubborn and emotional, some yelling during an argument, sexual identity crisis has begun lol, 18+ (minors do not interact.)

Noah wakes up the next morning confused, with a raging fucking headache, and alone. It freaks him out at first, the feeling of the cold bed sheets against his fingertips when he reaches out causing his heart rate to spike, but then he sees his bedroom door ajar. His heart slows down, only briefly, and he groans as he wipes a hand down his face. 

If he's being completely honest, he feels like he got run over about 50 times last night by a goddamn bus, and he can't even remember it. How much did he drink last night? With another groan he rolls over in his bed, face burying into the pillow next to him. He tries to sort through his mind around what exactly happened yesterday, but the only things he can remember are the moments leading up to the bar and then… nothing.

He remembers being on edge all day, freaked out of his fucking mind because he needed everything to go exactly as he planned because if it didn't he'd probably lose it. This wasn't their first show, no, but this was their first album. First time people were coming out to a show to see them specifically, excited to listen to the album they'd been anticipating for months now. He almost made himself sick at one point yesterday.

He remembers that it went way better than he ever expected. The crowd's energy was something he'd never experienced before, and there was no better feeling than having people actually sing your words back to you. He's been working at this for so long and he finally feels like this is exactly where he's supposed to be. Making music for people like him, searching for something that makes them feel like they belong. 

Then he remembers all the congratulations, the pictures, the first few shots at the bar... and that's about it.

He's sure it was just a regular night out for them - throwing back shots and enjoying each other's company - but there's this nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach telling him he's missing something important. He doesn't dwell on it for too long, thought fleeting the very second Naomi steps back into his room. 

Wet curls wrapped up in a towel on top of her head, adorn in one of his old shirts that he's sure she had stolen years ago. All warm and clean and probably smelled amazing, like lavender. One of her favorite scents. He remembers her telling him that it was a smell that brought her comfort, easing her anxiety. She shuts the door behind her quietly and he assumes it's because she thinks he's still asleep, and his assumption was correct when she turned around and yelped.

"Shit!"

Noah can't help but laugh, pressing his face further into the pillow. 

"You suck." Naomi whines out, but he can hear the smile in her voice. "I thought you were asleep."

"I just woke up." He grumbles, followed by a yawn, and flops onto his back. "I thought you were gone."

Her gaze softens as she makes her way towards the bed, and Noah waits for her to sit before throwing an arm around her waist, face burying against her thigh. He practically purrs at the feeling of her fingers immediately tangling in his hair and his eyes flutter shut. He could fall back asleep just like this.

"Why'd you think I was gone?"

"Bed was empty and cold." His voice was muffled as he pressed his face further into her thigh, wanting to be as close as possible. "Thought you left me."

"I would never." He hears Mimi hum above him, and he smiles to himself at the giggle she lets out. She scratches at his scalp again and it takes everything in him to not moan out in pleasure, the feeling having his eyes flutter shut again. 

Seriously, if it weren't the consistent pounding behind his eyes, he would've fallen back asleep already.

"Head hurts." Noah grumbles, reluctantly pulling away from her to bury his face against the pillow beside her legs. "How much did I drink last night?"

"You don't remember?" There's something behind her voice, an edge that wasn't there before, and if he wasn't battling this headache right about now he'd question it, but doesn't. 

Instead he shakes his head, sighing out, "No. I don't really remember much."

The silence that follows doesn't make the ever growing pit in his stomach ease any at all, and there's a nagging voice in the back of his mind telling him something happened and he needs to remember it now, but he's so tired. He'll try to remember later. He feels Naomi shift next to him and clear her throat, and he peeks open an eye to watch her get up off the bed.

"I'll get you some water and Ibuprofen, okay? Fix that headache of yours." She's speaking so fast, that edge still there, and it has Noah opening both of his eyes, propping himself up on his elbows.

"Okay."

His stomach drops at the smile she gives him, one that doesn't quite meet her eyes and very much strained before she slips out the door. He falls back the second it shuts, eyes trained to the ceiling. What happened last night that has Mimi acting so... weird? He tries to search through his hazy memories of the night before but nothing comes up. It's as if whatever happened was completely wiped from his memory. 

He tries telling himself that it's nothing, that he just drank way too much and maybe said something a bit out there in front of too many people and that's why Naomi is acting weird. Maybe she doesn't want to embarrass him? He knows he can say some outlandish shit when he's drinking. He covers his face with his arm, groaning quietly to himself.

Everything’s fine. It was nothing... right? 

...

Something's off.

Noah would say these last few days have been fine, great even. The response to their album was amazing, people were loving it. In hindsight, everything was literally perfect. Except... it wasn't? He couldn't exactly put a finger on it, but the uneasiness from a few days ago still lingered, making a home in the pit of his stomach.

Naomi had been acting weird still, though he thinks she seemed more on edge than anything. He assumed it was because she was leaving tomorrow, and the edge was the sadness seeping out into the real world. He tried his best to mask his own sadness, hating that he has to see her leave again, but he's telling himself that they won't go as long without seeing the other again. That'll make it easier.

Jolly seems to be normal. Nothing off balance with the Swede. He’s always been kind of odd, anyways. Folio the same way. Now that he thinks about it, those two actually seem to really be the only people he's encountered the last few days. His brows furrow as his mind thinks back to the last few days, glimpses of the interactions slipping through his mind. 

The more he thinks about it, the more he realizes the only people who truly seemed off were... Naomi and Nicholas. His stomach turns, the unease creeping through his veins when he realizes he's barely seen Nicholas at all since their album release. 

He's barely left his room, door shut at all times, and Noah tries to think of the times he's even seen the male leave. His mind races, thinking of all the possibilities on why Nicholas was being weird, barely leaving his room and speaking to anyone - especially Noah - and for some reason his mind always wanders back to the damn bar that he still can't fucking remember. 

Why can't he remember?

Something settles in his bones, something like... fear? He's not sure what he's even scared of. Maybe it was the not knowing. If he could just fucking remember what happened that night, maybe it could give him some sort of insight on what happened and why everyone is being so fucking weird and -

"Noah?" 

His eyes moved from the television, stuck on some Netflix show he definitely had not been watching to Naomi, who was standing near the couch. She looked... anxious, for better words. Face flushed, brows furrowed, lips turned down into a frown. It's as if she was in pain, but he knew she wasn't. He knew her better than he knew himself sometimes, and he knew there was something on her mind. His stomach turns painfully.

"Yeah?" He clears his throat when his voice breaks at the end, lips pursing. "What's up?"

Naomi chews on her bottom lip, hands wringing in front of her. "...Can we talk?"

Those three words punch Noah in the chest. Can we talk? That could mean so many things. So many things that scare him, that make him think oh no, something's wrong and that the worst is about to come. He's heard it so many times before in the past, he just never expected it to be from her.

"Oh." He swallows, a lump now forming in his throat and he nods. "Yeah. Of course."

She doesn't seem to spot his panic right away and he realizes maybe he's getting better at his poker face, and comes to sit next to him. She's so close, so fucking close, but Noah feels like she's never been so far away. Their legs are brushing but she feels worlds away, not even braving a glance at him. 

He's going to be fucking sick. 

Something is wrong and he doesn't know what and he swears it has something to do with that god forsaken bar he can't remember anything about. Something happened there that made her far, out of reach, and it was obviously so bad that Nicholas won't even talk to him, and... God. 

She's going to break up with him before she leaves. 

He doesn't realize he's panting until he feels Naomi's fingers wrap around his wrists, breaking him from his thoughts.

"Hey, look at me." She sounds farther away, but she's right there, and Noah slowly manages to gaze at her. "There you are. Can you breathe with me? In, out. In, out. Just like that."

He tries to match her breathing, really does, and it isn't until he feels her nails lightly scratching against the inside of his wrists that he feels himself come back to himself. His breathing is still a bit ragged, and he thinks his eyes are burning just a bit but he blinks whatever it is away. They sit in silence for a little while longer and Noah really focuses on the way her nails feel against his skin and how soothing it actually is, and her steady breathing. 

"...I'm guessing you already know what I want to talk about?" Naomi finally speaks after a few moments of bated silence.

Noah can't exactly read her, the look in her eyes something he's never seen from her before. Was it fear? He doesn't know exactly why she would be scared, but the voice in the back of his head is yelling at him because he knows what this is about. The nagging feeling, the deep pit in his tummy... this was it. He swallows away the lump building in the base of his throat, head nodding slowly. 

"You want to break up."

He says it so definitely, his stomach dropping because this is it. This is what she's doing. This is why she's been so weird the last few days because she didn't know how to do it and let him down easy. He doesn't bother looking at Naomi, instead moves his gaze on his lap because he can't bear to see her right now. See the pitying gaze she's probably giving him, her eyes indicating that yes, this is over.

"What?" 

He finally moves his gaze up to hers and pauses at how bewildered she looks, eyes wide with confusion, full lips dipping further into a frown. This almost angers him, almost, because how dare she look confused. His head tilts to the side, eyes searching her face.

"That's what this is about, right?"

"No, baby, that's..." She sighs, brows furrowing again as her head tilts to the side. "That's not even remotely close to what I wanted to talk about." 

Noah pauses again, mind racing at her words. What did she want to talk about then, if not this? He feels her hand slip to his cheek, turning his head back to face her.

"Noah," She sighs out, frowning again, "Why would you even think that?”

He doesn't know how to respond so he shrugs instead, staring at her. Naomi scoots closer to him, their legs now pressing together, and he focuses on her bare skin against his rather than her pleading eyes.

"Baby..." Another sigh follows her words. "Talk to me. What's going on in that head of yours?"

"I don't know." He eventually says, but doesn't dare to look up at her. "You've just been acting weird. Felt like I did something wrong, I don't know."

He rushes his words out, feeling his cheeks heat up at the confession. He was never good at expressing how he felt, how things bothered him. Never wanted to be a burden, too scared of the things that he may say ruining whatever he had going for him. In his time of knowing Mimi, loving Mimi, he's had to come to terms with the fact he just can't do that with her. She insists that he talk about his feelings, always telling him communication is one of her top priorities in any relationship she has - platonic and romantic. That infamous therapy talk of hers.

It was hard for Noah at first, and it still really fucking is, but he tries. He tries his hardest because he doesn't want to let her down.

"You didn't do anything wrong, baby." She's quick to respond, reaching out to place her hand on his thigh. He watches the way her fingers flex around his thigh, trying to calm down his heart that still seems to be racing. "You did nothing wrong, okay?"

"Then what's this about?" Noah doesn't stop the words from leaving him and he doesn't think twice before flicking his gaze up to hers, brown eyes round and wide. "Because when someone says they need to talk, it's usually nothing good."

He knows it's just the anxiety talking, whatever she's wanting to talk about eating at him because what the fuck could it be? If not that, then what else is there to talk about that's made her so... weird? 

"Do you remember Davis' birthday that year I couldn't go? I had to work."

He nods. "Yeah. Barely."

"Right." Naomi rolls her lips before speaking again. "Do you remember almost kissing Nick that night?"

As soon as she said it, the memory came back to him almost instantly. It was pretty shaky, the memory of Nicholas in front of him blurry, but he remembers that exact moment like it was fucking yesterday. They both drank absolutely way too much and the way Nicholas' cheeks were tinted red from the alcohol was... nice. So nice in fact Noah couldn't stop looking at him or his lips, and remembers wondering what it would be like to kiss his best friend. 

His heart pounds against his chest and he swallows down whatever lump was stuck in his throat, gazing back at Mimi.

"...Not really."

Lie. 

"Noah-"

"Okay, yes. I do. Sort of." He pauses to catch his breath, already feeling himself get worked up. "What's that have to do with anything? That was two years ago."

He hates the way she's staring at him, eyes narrowed but still gentle, as if she can see right through him, because she can. She's always been able to read him since the day they met. 

"I never knew that until you mentioned it at the bar."

His eyes widened at that. He got so drunk that night that he confessed to his girlfriend that he almost kissed their best friend? 

Fuck, fuck, fuck. 

"I'm sorry. It was forever ago, before we were together, it didn't mean-"

"Noah." She drops her hand from his face and holds it up, and Noah stops in the middle of his sentence, lips pressing together as he watches her. "It's okay. I don't care." 

"Oh." He feels himself sink back against the couch, relief filling his body.

Okay. Cool. She didn't care. That was good, right?

"Yeah." Naomi's voice trails and she stares off to the side, as if trying to find her next words. "Well, um. After you... mentioned that, you... Um."

Noah's eyes narrow at her. In the three years he has known Mimi, she wasn't one to stumble over her words. Usually that was his and Nicholas' jobs, stumbling through their sentences and Naomi helping them along the way.

"I... what?" His arms cross over his chest.

"You..." There was another pause and she finally looked back at him, lips pressed in a line. "We kissed."

His brows furrow. "...Okay?"

"All three of us. Kissed."

Oh.

Fuck.

Oh fuckfuckfuck.

“What?” He didn’t intend for his voice to come off so loud but he couldn’t help it, because what the actual fuck did she just say?

"We kissed."

Right. That's what he heard the first time yet it still doesn't sound fucking real. 

What does she mean they kissed? Why the fuck would that ever happen? How did it happen? Noah's gaze tears from Naomi to stare off to the side, too caught up in his own mind to even register that Naomi's gripping his hand, begging him to look at her. His chest feels heavy again, like at least ten tons of weights were just dropped on it.

We kissed. There's no way he actually kissed... no. That couldn't have happened. Noah's stomach turns. He feels hot, almost like he's going to be sick, because this didn't happen. It couldn't have happened. He would've remembered kissing his best friend... or watching his best friend kiss his girlfriend.

His face heats up at the thought.

"...Noah?"

He sucks down a deep breath to try and come back to himself,  finally looking back at Mimi. The weight on his chest lifted only slightly as their eyes met once again. He blinks.

"What?"

"Did it..." Naomi pauses and swipes her tongue over her bottom lip, and Noah can't help but follow it. "Did it mean anything?"

Noah tilts his head. "What did?"

"The almost kiss. Between you and Nicky.” 

He feels his whole-body freeze, stiffening at the implication of her words. Did it mean anything? What does it matter if it meant anything? It was years ago, back before Naomi, back before Noah knew shit about anything... back when it was just him and Nicholas. Back when the only things that meant a goddamn thing to him was his music and his best friend.

And sure, maybe there had been a time where it may have meant something to him, back when he was still learning himself, all awkward and all limbs. Back when things didn't seem to make much sense besides the fact he loved being around Nicholas, he loved his best friend. He had never really had that type of safety growing up, never felt secure, but when he was bouncing around with Nicholas, sleeping on his family's couch, in his bed, shooting the shit into the wee hours of the night with him, he remembers thinking he could live like this forever as long as it was with Nick. 

So yeah, maybe at the time it meant something. Or maybe it was the alcohol in his system that night that made him think that. He doesn’t know. He doesn’t want to know. 

He swallows down the lump that was beginning to form in his throat and averts his gaze from Naomi, and he misses the look she gives him. He misses the way her face drops, lips pulling down into a frown, and instead wraps his arms around his middle, curling in on himself.

It didn't mean anything.  

It couldn't mean anything. 

"No." 

It sounded like a lie. His voice wavered and he looked anywhere but Naomi, couldn't dare look at her. He felt... guilty, in a way. That even though this almost kiss was years ago, his skin prickled at the thought of it happening now and how he didn't seem to be to put off by it. His heart pounded against his chest just at the mere thought of their lips brushing and he's frozen in his spot. It happened, just a few nights ago, and he's more upset at the fact he doesn't even fucking remember it.  

Why would he even want to kiss Nicholas, anyway? Naomi was his girlfriend, sitting right next to him. She should be the only person he wants to kiss, touch. 

"...Are you sure?" 

"Of course." He spits out, then flinches because he didn't mean to sound so harsh. He gives Naomi a quick glance before letting his eyes drop again. "Why would it? Nothing even happened, anyways." 

Noah knows why. He fucking knows and it makes his stomach turn, throat close up, and he could probably throw up at any fucking second, but he chooses to ignore it, because the truth is too much. It's not like he still doesn't feel the same for Naomi, that's not it at all. She's the first person he's ever loved this hard, ever considered to be serious with, to start a life with. He knows Naomi is his endgame and has always been. 

So has Nicholas, he briefly thinks, and has to physically shake his head to put the thoughts away. 

They sit in silence for a moment, not uncomfortable, but silence nonetheless and Noah's scared to look at Naomi. Scared to find that she sees through him and his stubbornness, sees through the lies that he spits out, because he doesn't want to think about what'll come after. He can't lose Naomi and the life that they've built together, will build together. He can't lose the stableness she's brought into his life, the love she gives him when sometimes he thinks he doesn't deserve it. He can't lose his best friend - both of them. 

So, he'll continue to lie, continue to tell himself and everyone around him that it meant nothing at the time and definitely doesn't mean a goddamn thing now. 

"Noah." Naomi's voice is so soft, so gentle, he has to squeeze his eyes shut to will away the burning that it brings. "Baby, look at me." 

Her hand is on his arm now and he feels her scoot closer to him, but she's timid, keeping her space. She knows how he gets when he starts to shut down, build the walls back up around himself when things get too complicated because he hates when it starts to feel like that. He's comfortable for the first time in his life and he can't let that slip through his fingers. 

He takes a deep breath, then two, then three, and finally opens his eyes to find Naomi staring at him, brows furrowed in concern. Her hand doesn't leave him, and he relaxes ever so slightly at the feel of her thumb rubbing into his skin, trying to calm him down. Usually, she'd do the thing where she rubs at his wrists, gently scratching at the skin to bring him back down to earth like she had done earlier, but she can't with the way he has his arms wrapped around him, hands tucked away at his sides. 

"Me and Nicholas had an almost kiss, too. I told you that night but I’m assuming you don’t remember." She starts slowly and her hand moves up his arm to rest against the back of his neck, fingers digging into his skin gently to rub out any tension there. It was helping. "We didn't, though, because of you." 

"Me?" He perks up at that, but for some reason his chest aches, heart pounding again.  

Why did they stop because of him? Why was he the reason for their kiss ending before it ever even started? The guilt comes back, settling in the pit of his stomach. 

Naomi nods. "It didn't feel right... with how I felt about you and...." 

She trails off and he can tell she's choosing her words carefully, like she was leaving out something, but he doesn't say anything. Noah swallowed thickly, eyes scanning her face. 

"I..." He watches her eyes flutter shut and watches her throat bob as she swallows down whatever fear may linger there. "I wanted to kiss him, but I didn't. Well - he didn't. He asked me what about Noah? and we stopped." 

"That doesn't make any sense." The words leave him before he can even think about it. "You shouldn't have stopped because of me." 

"Yes, we should have." Her answer was quick, and Noah can only stare at her. "We should have because it wasn't fair to you." 

"Why?" He doesn't get it, or... maybe he does, but he refuses to believe what's so obviously in front of him.  

"Jesus." Naomi breathes out, a quiet laugh following. "This is a lot harder than I thought it would be." 

Her hand drops from his neck to rest back against his arm, and he watches the movements, eyes following her fingers drawing circles, tracing the artwork that was etched across his skin.  

"It wasn't fair to you because of how we felt about you." She starts off slowly, eyes dropping down to her hand. "We both cared about you so much then, and still do. At the time it was more confusing, but I think," She takes a deep breath before her eyes find him again. "I think it didn't feel right to do that with you not there. It didn't feel complete." 

Complete. They didn't feel complete without him there and that has his stomach turning, as if a thousand butterflies were let off inside of him but he can't seem to be happy about it. It can't mean what he's thinking. He refuses to even believe that because that would mean what he's feeling is true and that's impossible. 

How the hell can you love two people at once and it's fine? It sounds fucking selfish. 

"I don't..." His words trail off and he has to look away from her, her gaze becoming far too much.  

Both of her hands slide back up his neck this time, turning him back to her but he shuts his eyes before their gazes even meet. He's being stubborn, he fucking knows, but it's too much. He can't do this. Not now. 

"Noah..." 

"What?" He tries to make it sound harsh, but it instead comes out weak, voice cracking at the end. Noah opens his eyes, and the look Naomi is giving him is borderline painful, and he has to swallow down the lump in his throat once again. 

"I... liked it when we kissed the other night." She finally starts again, voice barely above a whisper. Noah averts his gaze, eyes dropping to his lap, but her hand doesn't leave his neck. "...And I think you liked it, too." 

His stomach is full of twists and turns, a voice in the back of his head telling him that she's right. Even if doesn't remember it he knows he liked it, more than he should have, and his eyes squeeze shut to try and wrack his brain around some type of memory to remind him of how it felt, but nothing comes. 

He wishes he could remember, but he can’t. So, he says the first thing that comes to his mind. 

"I... I don't know if I liked it." Lie, but he pushes through it.  

"...And that's okay. If you don't know." Naomi speaks so carefully, thumbs brushing against his skin as her eyes scan his face. "You don't need to know right now. I just needed you to know." 

"And what is it I need to know?" 

"That I liked kissing Nicholas. Far more than I probably should." She pauses, sucking in a deep breath. "And that I think you liked it too, but you don't know how to feel about it, and that's completely okay."  

They keep their eyes on each other for a moment or two, the silence slowly eating away at him. How could she know that? There's no way she could know that. Hell, Noah barely even knows that. He wishes he could fucking remember what it was like, his lips against Nicholas'. The way it felt when their lips finally met. The way it made him feel in that moment, after waiting for it for so long. He can feel goosebumps rise across his skin just at the mere thought of their lips brushing and his face flushes out of embarrassment.  

Naomi doesn't comment on it. 

"So," He clears his throat, eyes dropping again. "What does this mean?"  

"Nothing. If that's what you want."

Noah's silent, and he doesn't move his gaze from his lap. 

"I love you." Naomi presses, and she's leaning forward, lips ghosting over his cheek. "That hasn't changed and will never, ever change. I just... needed to be honest with you." There's another pause in her words and she pulls back, eyes scanning him again. "And I want you to be honest with yourself. It doesn't need to be right now, but whenever you're ready. Okay?" 

He swallows thickly again, and he thinks his eyes are burning but he refuses to even acknowledge that. His stomach twists and turns at the implication of her words and he so desperately wishes he could do that, for her, for himself, but he can't. Not yet at least. 

So instead, he nods, quietly saying, "I love you."

He hopes that's enough for her, for now, and he thinks it is when she leans in to press their lips together. It's different from the others they've shared, something else is behind it and he can't quite place it, but it only has him pressing harder against her, trying to deepen it. He loves her, with his entire being, and hopes one day he can be honest with her in the way she's wanting. 

Maybe. 

"Okay." She says once she pulls back, taking a deep breath to come back to herself. Her hands slide up and down his neck and she gives him a small smile, and this time it reaches her eyes. "Wanna help me finish packing?"

Noah nods, finally unwrapping his arms from around himself. "Yeah... I wanna help."

Her smile grows wider at that, and he actually returns it before letting her pull him up and off the couch, dragging him towards his room to finish packing for her flight tomorrow morning. He does his best to ignore the voice in his head screaming at him when they pass Nicholas' room, especially when he catches himself staring at the shut door longingly.

… 

He's pissed.

No - he's downright fucking livid.

He'd never seen such heartache in Naomi's face when he told her that Nicholas wouldn't be coming to the airport to drop her off, even though he so clearly was home, holed up in his room. She acted as if it didn't bother her, only for a second, before the tears fell. Noah swore he saw red, never once in his life being so... disappointed in his best friend. He hated anyone that made Naomi upset, and knowing it was Nicholas at the other end of this anger was something Noah's never experienced.

He kept it together for her, even when he kissed her goodbye. Especially when she asked Noah to let Nicholas know that she said goodbye, and that she'll text when she lands. The drive home was excruciating and he swears he broke several traffic laws because he couldn't stop thinking about it. What the fuck was Nicholas' problem? 

If he had been so bothered by what happened then he should say that. Noah can take the rejection - it hurts less because he doesn't exactly remember it. At least he thinks it does, but maybe this anger he's feeling is overshadowing the ache in his chest that's yearning to remember what it was like to have Nicholas' lips on his. He barely thinks about it, actually, so consumed by the anger and disappointment rising in him, he slams the front door shut. 

No one else is home. Just him, Nicholas, and an empty house. His feet move before he can even think about it, taking him up the stairs and down the hall, second door on the left. Noah swings open Nicholas' door, the latter looking up from his desk, sketch pad placed in front of him. His brows furrow at the sight of Noah, confusion written all over his face and that somewhat pisses off Noah even more. 

"What the hell is your problem?"

This surprises Nicholas, eyes widening. "What?" 

"Cut the fucking bullshit." This has Nicholas' pressing his lips together and Noah steps into his room, shutting the door behind him. He points over at Nicholas, eyes narrowing. "Mind telling me what's been up your ass this last week?"

Nicholas pauses. "Nothing."

"Sure." Noah scoffs, arms crossing over his chest. "You seriously suck at lying, dude. You always have." 

"It's nothing, Noah." Nicholas grumbles, low and annoyed, and he's swinging his chair back around to his desk, staring down at the flash sheet before him. "Just been busy."

"With what?" Noah knows he should keep it down, knowing the other guys are just in the living room, but he can't find it in himself to even care. "We fucking live together, man. I know when you're busy."

Silence.

"She was expecting you to be there, you know." Noah grits out, voice shaking. "Do you know how hard it was to watch her cry? Knowing it was over you? Really fucking hard, Nick. She wanted you there." 

Nicholas doesn't say anything to this, but Noah notices the moment his shoulders tense, his actions pausing, before picking his pen up again. 

"Oh, so you’re just not gonna say anything? How fucking mature.”

"I don't know what you want from me, Noah." Nicholas sounds defeated as he whips around in his chair, shoulders slumping forward as sad, gray eyes meet Noah's brown ones.

"I want you to tell me what the fuck is going on." He's angry, maybe irrationally so, but he doesn't care. He's pissed, hands shaking at his sides as his eyes narrowed down on his best friend.

"Nothing's going on."

"Stop lying to me!" Noah's voice booms throughout the bedroom and both boys pause, eyes widening.

Noah doesn't yell. In a song, sure, but never ever in conversation. And never at Nicholas. In the years he's known the boy, he can't really remember any argument that they've had that led to a raised voice. It was never like that with him, but maybe things have changed. A lot of things have changed.

He sucks in a deep breath, eyes fluttering shut as he tries to calm himself down. Naomi's voice fills his mind, softly chanting in and out, in and out, in and out. He feels like he's spiraling, the anger and confusion coming to a halt inside his body and not sure how to release. He hates feeling like this, he hates being angry at Nicholas, but he can't help it. He's lying. Noah knows he's lying and he doesn't have a damn clue on why he keeps it up.

"Stop lying." He says softer now, voice wavering. "You don't need to lie."

"Yes, I do."

"If..." In, out. In, out. In, out. "If this is about the stupid fucking kiss from the other night, it's not that big of a deal."

His stomach drops the second those words leave his mouth, and he's sure Nicholas has the same feeling with the way his eyes are widening, staring at him in disbelief. 

"I remember - well, Mimi told me. But I know." He pauses. "That's it, isn't it? The kiss? You're being fucking weird because of a stupid kiss?"

It wasn't stupid. Even if he doesn't remember it he knows it wasn't, but he can't seem to stop the words tumbling from his mouth.

"Yes." Nicholas finally grits out, eyes narrowing at him. "It is about the stupid kiss."

"I knew it." Noah laughs and it's such a sad fucking sound, because he doesn't feel any better hearing those words from Nicholas. Actually, he somehow feels worse. "I fucking knew it."

Nicholas laughs now, a crazy sound, and he runs a wild hand through his hair before his arms flail out around him.

"What the fuck do you want to say then, Noah? I mean, since you already know everything." It's Nicholas' turn to narrow his gaze, anger brewing behind his eyes. “I don’t know what you fucking want from me if you already know so much. What’s there to even talk about, huh?”

"I just want you to be honest with me," Noah tries to keep his voice level, but there is another waver towards the end, and he has to curl his hands into fists and squeeze. 

In and out, in and out, in and out. 

"Honest? You want honesty?" With another laugh that sounds anything but humorful, Nicholas rises from his chair and takes a step closer to Noah. "Do you know how fucking hard it is to watch the person you love be with someone else? And then have them kiss you?”

There it is. 

He thinks deep down he knew all along that Nicholas loved Naomi. The more he thought about it - and he's thought about it a lot these last 24 hours - the more it made sense. Noah remembers the longing glances shared between the two, remembers the tension whenever they first met. Maybe he tried convincing himself it was nothing just to justify his own feelings, but it was always clear as day.

Nicholas fucking loved her. His hands shake at the thought and he squeezes them into fists again, fingernails digging into the skin of his palm. It hurts to hear out loud even though he knew. He fucking knew.

But he thinks it hurts more knowing that it's just her, and not him.

"Naomi told me." He manages to get out, swallowing down the lump in his throat. "She told me about the first time you tattooed her. How you guys didn't..." He can't say it fully, taking a deep breath before continuing, "because of me. You spared my feelings because you'd rather, I don't fucking know, deprive yourself of happiness because you didn't want to hurt my feelings?"

Nicholas doesn't say anything again, just stares at him with his lips pressed together and for some reason that angers Noah even more.

"Did you think I couldn't handle it? Her rejection? I could have." He takes a step closer to Nicholas, the other boy watching him carefully. "I would have if it meant that you two were happy. That's all I ever fucking cared about."

They're toe to toe now, not touching just yet but almost there. Nicholas' eyes soften. 

"Noah, that's all I cared about, too. That's why I couldn't do it, because of you and-"

"Because of me! That's all I keep hearing. Me, me, me. You didn't know how I'd feel. You didn't know how I'd react. Not once did you even think of yourself, either of you, because for some reason you both are so worried about how I'd feel." The words fall from his lips without much thought and a humorless laugh slips from him, arms moving wildly at his sides. "And now look, you resent me! Probably Mimi, too, because of a choice you made."

Was it harsh? Maybe, but Noah was done letting this shit build up inside of him. If Nicholas wanted to ignore him then goddammit, he was going to get out everything he's been wanting to say for the last two days. 

Nicholas looks at Noah now as if he's just grown two heads and for some reason that just makes him angrier. Why is he confused? He doesn't get to act confused, he's the one that's been ignoring them, resenting them, for a choice he made. 

"I don't resent you."

"Could've fooled me.”

"I don't-" Nicholas pauses, taking a deep breath and pinching the bridge of his nose. "I don't fucking resent you. I don't resent Mimi, either. If anything I resent myself for being fucking stupid."

It's Noah's turn to be confused, eyes narrowing down at his best friend.

"What?"

Nicholas opens his mouth to speak but closes it almost instantly. He doesn't say anything, just stares at him with wide eyes and Noah's not sure what to do next. He doesn't understand any of this. If Nicholas didn't resent them, then why the hell was he acting like he did? 

"I..." Noah's stomach twists at the sight of tears welling in Nicholas' eyes and he forces himself to look away, anywhere and everywhere but his face. "How can you not fucking see, Noah?"

"See what?"

They're so close. So fucking close and Noah finally gains enough courage to look at Nicholas again, and immediately wishes he hadn't. He watches the first tear fall, stream down Nicholas' cheeks, and he feels like someone just stabbed him in the fucking chest repeatedly. Why was he crying? What was there to cry over? 

"How I feel about Naomi. How I feel about you." Nicholas sounds so small, voice barely above a whisper.

"...About me?" Noah asks dumbly, but his mind is working double time already, heart thudding loudly against his chest.

There's no way Nicholas is admitting to this. Admitting to something that Noah told himself years ago would never fucking happen - could never fucking happen. That's why he shoved it so far back into his mind, his heart, because he could never allow something like that to come between him and his best friend. 

"Noah, I..." The words are on the tip of his tongue and Noah knows what he's going to say. He can feel it in his fucking bones and he feels his hands shaking at his sides again, but this time with anticipation. "I..."

"Nicky." Noah all but whines out, voice soft and eyes pleading. 

Nicholas' mouth shuts and Noah sees the exact moment his gaze falls to his lips before moving back up. His ears ring and his skin heats up, standing there while Nicholas reaches for him, tattooed hands cupping his face. He watches the boy lean in and barely even registers the fact that Nicholas' lips are against his before the other is pulling back, eyes wide. 

"Shit, Noah - I'm sorry. Fuck. I'm so fucking sorry-"

Noah's not paying attention to his words, no, his ears are still ringing so fucking loud that Nicholas sounds muffled right now. He's too busy thinking about the way Nicholas' hands are still cradling his face and how gentle he was with him, their lips pressing together in what he thinks was the gentlest kiss of his life. Well, sort of a kiss. He didn't even kiss back, didn't think to kiss back because his brain short circuited. His lips were soft, not nearly as soft as Mimi's, but still softer than he imagined.

"- I wasn't thinking. I shouldn't have done that without asking, I'm fucking sorry-"

Noah reaches up to circle his fingers around Nicholas' wrists when he feels the other trying to slip away. He keeps his hands there, against his face, and stares at him for another beat before surging forward. Their lips crash together with such force that they both stumble and Noah's hands drop from Nicholas' wrists to rest against his hips, keeping him steady. He thinks he hears Nicholas make some kind of noise, feels the vibration against his lips, but that damn ringing in his ears won't stop.

This kiss isn't anything like the one they just shared. Far from it. It's messy, sloppy, and all teeth, but it has Noah's skin buzzing in what he can only assume is excitement and fucking relief because this is what he's always imagined it to be like. Years of pent up frustration, long years of fucking yearning has led to this and Noah can't help but whine against Nicholas' lips. It's like they fit perfectly together, like Nicholas was the missing puzzle piece in this story. It reminds him of kissing Naomi, and how much he loves it, and how perfect and right it always feels. 

Naomi.

It's like his brain was on autopilot and just finally turned back out, screeching to a halt as the realization finally dawned on him. 

He can already feel the panic settling into his bones, rising until it lodges in the base of his throat and he all but pushes Nicholas away from him as if he's been burned. He feels like he's going to throw up at any second and he wishes that his ears would stop fucking ringing so loud, because all he can see is Nicholas' mouth moving but no words are coming out. The other takes a step towards him, arms reaching out but Noah shakes his head quickly. He takes two large steps back.

"Noah?”

It's muffled and barely sounds like Nicholas. Noah shakes his head again and takes another step back, yelping when he comes in contact with the door. He has to get out of here.

"I'm sorry." He gets out shakily before he reaches for the door handle and throws the door open, rushing for the stairs.

FuckFuckFuck.

He needs to get out of there. He needs to leave and go somewhere so fucking far away because he cannot stay here. No, he can't. The last glimpse he had of Nicholas crosses his mind, the absolute heartbreak written all over his face, and his chest hurts. It hurts so fucking bad and he can't breathe and-

"Woah. Slow down there, man."

Jolly chuckles and rests his hands on Noah's shoulders, but the younger boy doesn't know what's funny. He looks at him, gets out that he's headed somewhere, anywhere but here, and sees the moment confusion and then concern crosses Jolly's features. He doesn't let him question it, already ripping himself from his friends grasp. He grabs his keys that are still sitting on the counter where he left them, pats his pockets to make sure he still has his phone, and bolts out the door without another thought.

...

Her apartment feels foreign to her. She's tried so hard to make it feel like home, and it did at one point, but now it just... feels like a space she lives in. Richmond feels the same. This was the place where she grew up, where she became who she is today, and yet she's never felt so disconnected from it. It isn't home. Not anymore.

Home is almost three thousand miles away.

Naomi's eyes glance over at her phone next to her on the floor and sighs when no new notifications show up. She's only been home for about an hour, texting both Noah and Nicholas the second she walked through the door. She wasn't too surprised that Nicholas didn't respond, seeing as he didn't even bother telling her goodbye this morning, but Noah's silence comes as a shock. Usually she's welcomed with a text right when she lands from the boy, asking if she's landed yet and that he misses her.

There was nothing.

She knew how angry he was when Nicholas didn't meet them at the car this morning, ignoring both their texts. She knew he tried his best to hide how he was feeling, especially when she didn't do a good job hiding how she did. She felt guilty, in a way, crying over someone else when Noah was right there. He was so understanding, though, and had been ever since she told him how she felt about the kiss and Nicholas.

Naomi knew deep down it was because he understood how she felt, but was too stubborn to figure it out for himself and admit to it. 

She sighs again as she tosses another shirt from her suitcase into the dirty clothes pile she's made in the middle of her room, trying to distract herself from her thoughts. She doesn't want to do laundry. She wishes she could snap her fingers and everything would be cleaned and put neatly in its place, it'd save her a lot of time. 

She really tries hard to not dwell on it, but her hand is moving for her phone before she can stop herself. She'll just text him again, make sure he's alright and didn't do something stupid like confront Nicholas. She never gets to ask, though, the incoming phone call screen popping up on her phone. Her breath hitches when she realizes it was Nicholas calling her.

She lets it ring three times before answering.

"Hello?"

"I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry for being a stubborn fucking asshole and not saying goodbye. I'm sorry for ignoring you like a child." Nicholas' voice comes out quickly, words rushing together that she barely even catches what he's saying.

"Nicky, slow down-"

"I'm sorry for running away and not being brave enough to even talk about what happened-"

"Nicholas."

"- and I'm sorry for not telling you I loved you sooner. I should've done that a long time ago, but I'm a coward." Nicholas pauses to suck in a deep breath, probably to try and center himself. "I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry, Naomi. I'd take it all back if I could."

"...What?" It's stupid to say but it's all she could manage out.

“… I love you."

Mimi is stunned into silence, mouth agape as her brain tries to process whatever the fuck Nicholas just told her. Their first conversation in almost a week and this is not what she was expecting. Well, maybe the apology, but not the confession. 

I'm sorry for not telling you I loved you sooner. 

It should feel good. It should feel really good to hear those words, to know that he loves her, because she loves him, but it doesn't. It feels far from it. Nicholas sounds so broken and defeated on the other end that she knows that this didn't come from a place of happy realization. 

Something happened. With Noah, no doubt. Something stirs in the pit of her stomach.

"Noah talked to you."

"He did." 

She stays silent, the confirmation swirling around her mind. Noah talked to him. 

"He left." Nicholas' voice shakes and she can already see his face, crumbling as the tears well in his eyes. She doesn't bother stopping her own, the pit in her stomach now feeling like impending fucking doom. His sniffle on the other end breaks her heart. "He barged into my room, yelled at me. Deserved. I was being an ass, I’m sorry. And then I kissed him. He asked me to be honest and I fucking kissed him because it was easier doing that than saying it."

"Nicky..."

"He just stood there and I knew I fucked up, I knew it, but then... fuck, then he kissed me." He sniffles again, followed by a pitiful whine. "Then he left. Pulled away from me like I was some sort of fucking plague and ran off. He's been gone for like two hours. I don't..." A shaky sigh follows his words and her heart feels like it's about to fall out of her chest. "He’s gone. I don't know where he is, Mimi."

Fuck.

[fairytale-poll]

ROUND 1A, MATCH 1 OUT OF 8!

Propaganda Under the Cut:

Ariel (Animated):

Because someone had to submit her. I mean the animated version, specifically.

She may make very stupid decisions in the name of her special interest, but you've got to admire the dedication at least! Also goddamn her singing voice.

Part of Your World still hits so hard and makes me so emotional, despite not feeling very attached to this movie. Jodi Benson has such a beautiful voice! I haven't watched the live-action remake so I don't know how good that rendition of Part Of Your World is, but this one is so incredibly powerful.

Ariel (Live Action):

She's just so cute and beautiful and sweet and her singing voice is amazing!!!

I LOVED the live action! Ariel was portrayed so well and given a lot more depth. Plus, her and Eric's relationship was ALSO given a lot more depth <3 The scene where she breaks something (i don't quite remember what it was XD) and shows him what was inside? Them bonding over their love of learning? Hovering over a map? Scurrying around and hiding from Eric's mom? Couple goals, imo. idc if I get into a relationship or not, but if I ever do i hope to god they will geek out with me as much as these two nerds did <3

tbh i have despised all of the new disney live action adaptations, and haven't watched them since the less then stellar beauty and the beast was released in 2017. but everyone was going on about how good this one and when i finally watched it was pleasantly surprised. sure there were general soul-less disney remake moments - but halley bailey's ariel was so beautiful and genuine! her passion and determination, her beautiful voice, how flippin expressive her eyes are. ironic that a little mermaid was such a breath of fresh air. an absolutely beautiful character adaptation

She was forced to listen to Awkwafina rap, she deserves SOMETHING.

[daniistopg]

hehe

Yes, this is what you think it is. Me, Dani Wilson is making a documentary about Choi Jongho from ATEEZ. Now don’t call me crazy because I will get into the basics of everything from top to bottom of this man. 

Choi Jongho was my first official bias in ATEEZ, although before I fully stanned ATEEZ, I thought Mingi was my bias due to his deep voice and amazing rapping, but Jongho proved it wrong. I remember just being at my best friend’s sister’s room and she was talking about ATEEZ. I just remember being so intrigued by this beautiful, scrumptious, breathtaking, ass-slapping, toe-sniffing man named Choi Jongho. And then when my sibling told me all the little things about him and showed his talents I couldn’t look away. He is the best singer I’ve ever seen, he can rap, and he can dance, and his visuals are just so yummy.

He might hate wearing stuff that shows his skin, and I respect his opinion, but could he please just once wear a crop top it would make me delighted. I mean once I saw him in shorts and the other day he was wearing SHORT SLEEVES RUFUFUFUF, I practically suffocated right there in that moment. I need to eat his pterodactyl ahh fingers and toes right now otherwise  I’ll commit a crime. I’ve never loved a man as much as Jongho other than Straykids and that’s a lot coming from a Straykids ult. 

People really only talk about how he’s buff or can sing really well, but lemme just talk about his rapping. That man can rap faster than the main rapper himself. Also, I know I just sided his singing to his rapping, but goddamn his singing/vocals make me ascend to the heavens. His high note in Kingdom for Wonderland has got me into a literal trance that whenever I hear the original version, I can’t help but sing the high note (but not without sounding like a wet hotdog my bbgs) And partly the same with Black Cat Nero, but he actually does the hight note in real life like the baddie he is. And goddamn just his strength, bro literally was singing his ass off but at the same time, breaking an apple straight in half, like can I have a piece, please.

Also, have you seen his eyes holy moly I would sell my soul for him just to look at me like how he looks at the seats/ATINY/cameras in stage performances. I just love his lips so much like omggggggrrrrrrguyfkfyff I’d literally transform into a furry right then and there if I met him. And his no makeup/eepy face???!!  RUFFFARDFFSNJTE. Can we just talk about his long, dark-red hair, I remember I almost cried over it, he’s so scrumptious and if anyone tries to take him or say that he’s bad then I’ll eat them.

So this is why/how(much) I love Choi Jongho. Tell me which ATEEZ member you like the most, and why you like him so much. Hehe.

[wanderinghedgehog]

Another High School Les Mis

Live reaction:

This seems pretty well filmed

Holy soprano, Batman! That was one hell of a prisoner solo

This Valjean is already doing the most. I have a good feeling about this guy. For some reason, he’s allowed to wander all over the stage during this scene and he’s very confrontational with Javert. These two things together kinda diminish the oppressive vibe the scene usually has.

I drink from the orchestra pit. How clean the taste.

The lighting design is fun so far

This Valjean is phenomenal. He hasn’t even done a big solo number yet. It’s just his acting that’s so amazing to me.

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD THIS GUYYYYYY!!! He just knows exactly when to turn up the intensity and when to be more subtle. Get this kid a Tony NOW!

There seems to be an audio issue for a minute there

It seems like some ensemble members have mics and some don’t. Pretty standard for school productions.

This staging is very weird. Aside from the audio troubles, I can’t find Fantine. I can’t tell who’s singing because of how evenly distributed the crowd onstage is. She needs to stands apart (ideally downstage)

I love how kids who play the foreman often like to sound all gravely. It doesn’t actually make them sound more tough, but it’s a nice touch and I like it.

Oh this is a no swearing version. “I might have known the witch could bite.” Okay.

This Fantine is really good so far. I feel kinda bad for the actress because the track for her song is going weirdly fast. Give my girl some time!

This production would definitely be better if they made whoever was singing actually noticeable to the audience. I don’t know who I’m meant to look at in these ensemble scenes.

This Fantine seems to be struggling with her high notes. No judgment though. It’s a difficult singing role. I also like this girl’s acting, so I wanna be nice :)

Her short hair doesn’t look terrible. Nice.

The man who recruits Fantine is a woman in this production. Not sure if this was a choice or if they were running low on male actors.

Some little kid in the audience just went “yay!”

This Bamatabois is looking a little plain. I’d appreciate some pizzazz that marks him as bourgeois.

I’ve seen some awkward staging of the scratch bit. This wasn’t too bad.

Javert in red? Slay I guess.

He’s a little monotone. Let’s hope he gets more energy later.

This Valjean is really willing to get right up in Javert’s face. Don’t mess with Monsieur le Maire.

Poor Fauchelevent is so distraught. Save him!

The lighting needs to chill out a little you can barely see that he lifted the cart. It’s just a bit too dark.

This track is too fast! Javert just had to combine a ton of lines and barely got any of the tone through. I missed “forgive me sir I would not dare.”

This Javert is kinda funny. He keeps looking at the ground instead of at Valjean. Are you shy, dude?

I wish the lighting was better at the end of Who Am I. Another stellar performance from Valjean.

Fantine’s death was a little bit awkward. Both actors did a very good job, but the staging was weird.

Who let this Javert actor pronounce the n in Monsieur? Who let that happen?

LOW NOTE TIME

CONFRONTATION SWORD FIGHT????? I have no clue who would come up with that, but I suppose I’m entertained.

WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT WAS THAT? Javert down! I have no clue what just happened. It was too dark to see.

And then no final fight? Nothing? You can’t even see Javert for the last bit. He’s just some voice in the shadows.

So far, this is a good Madame T

That was… an interesting line change in Master of the House. Are they not allowed to say Jesus or something?

Nevermind. He just said Jesus. Why change the other lines then?

Not the shushing instead of swearing. This is just funny.

Well, they let her say bastard.

This Thenardier couple is pretty funny

This Gavroche could use some energy. Come on kid! Long live us!

I’ve got a good feeling about this Eponine

COSETTE

Toy soldier Javert seems to have grown a spine. Goddamn.

I repeat. GODDAMN.

Go toy soldier go!

Oops line mixup. But he recovered!

This Eponine is such a good singer. I’m in love with her voice.

Short king Grantaire

Do You Hear the People Sing was so fun

COSETTE

Weird staging thing. Valjean’s verse of In My Life gets messed with because Cosette has to climb down from this little balcony to talk to him

Wow you can see how he’s trying to let her down gently, but it’s clear that he just does not want to talk about this. Truly getting that sad old man vibe.

This Marius and Cosette actually have good chemistry. They’re really selling this.

HARMONIES

This Valjean can literally just walk onstage and I start crying. Oh my gooooood

Why did the lights get turned off on them?

ONE DAY MORE

Toy soldier does not know his lines very well…

Act 1 ends and I am Screaming! I love this so much!

Toy soldier hitting those high notes. Also, his barricade disguise makes him look like a beatnik.

Eponine in the audience is quite a choice. I think I like it.

I’m just noticing the tape markers on the ground. They’re glow in the dark. Like little stars on the floor. I’m getting too sentimental about this production.

EPONIIIIIINE!!!! Maybe Marius doesn’t love you, but I do! I love you!

Not having the “shoot me now or shoot me later” verse is so funny. Toy soldier is just sitting there.

They are really trying their best to fake this battle scene.

Where is he? The sound quality just got weird. Did they turn his mic off? Toy soldier, did they put you in a closet or something?

Where are both of them? What’s happening?

Guys are you in the back rooms? What is this location?

TOY SOLDIER! This is brilliant. Thank god he actually turned up the intensity here.

Marius singing about Cosette but like. Her dad is right next to you dude. Awkward.

This fucking high schooler singing “but I am old and will be gone” and I believe him!

Gavroche’s death is staged kinda strangely. Like I see the vision but I don’t know if it worked.

They seem to have combined some scenes after the final battle. This is weird but I wanna see where they take it.

Can’t really see much of Valjean carrying Marius around. They turned the lights off for a set change I think.

Goodbye, toy soldier.

I don’t think I’ve mentioned yet how good this Marius is. Great voice.

Did I not notice the old age makeup on Valjean before or is that new?

DONT YOU PUSH COSETTE

I have no more thoughts. Just sad.

FINALE YESSSSSSS

Final impressions:

AAAAA THIS WAS SO AMAZING

This high school drama club should know that I am now their #1 fan

Valjean was definitely my favorite. That was a phenomenal performance that I honestly prefer to some more professional actors I’ve seen.

Javert took a bit to get good, but by the end, he had really grown on me. I have no idea when I started calling him toy soldier, but it’s a fun nickname so whatever.

Some other standout performances were Eponine and Cosette. What amazing voices those girls have. They really made their characters come alive.

There was the problem of the lighting being too dim. I wished I could see more of what was happening, but it was in shadow.

I got so attached to this cast and this production. If people are interested, I might post the link to it because these kids did a fantastic job.

[spinnysocks]

appreciation for @devilsrecreation's janja and kiburi swap au (post here) bc i've had SO MUCH BRAINROT over it and i want to share some thoughts :3

for kiburi

first of all and mostly importantly, HE SINGS! LIKE, A LOT! it would be so fun to hear Tonight We Strike, an already A*** song, in his voice. i wonder if the songs would be different because he and his float are crocodiles 👀

more tamka and nduli screen time! :3 they'd be way more fleshed out and we'd get kiburi calling them "fish-for-brains" all the time <3

neema taking the place of nne and tano... kiburi gets so annoyed at tamka and nduli one day that he appoints neema to second-in-command. yeah, it goes downhill 💀

i feel like nduli in this au would enhance my mjuzi au even more if it was put into this! mainly because he'd be the mjuzi to makuu (because he swaps with jasiri)

on that note, makuu taking the place of jasiri is SO FUNNY. he's got practically the exact same personality as when he becomes a respected leader in canon, but he's... cheery? compassionate? helpful? basically enough of a small difference for him to greet kion like jasiri does in canon

makuu singing Siwi Ni Sawa 😭 i want to see that so bad. this is making me wonder if makuu and the other crocodiles would be teens maybe? unless kion just makes friends with a whole ass fully grown crocodile from the outlands who happens to be friendly hgdgf

and on THAT note, makuu and kiburi replace jasiri and janja, so gay croc bfs!!! kiburi's personality is obviously slightly altered to fit janja's role but it's so funny cuz dude just has internal gay panic. him singing A New Way To Go would be fucking amazing

as i'm typing this i realised that makuu x kiburi reminds me of that Go For It, [Insert Character]! meme. kiburi's the one who has to go for it and he's surrounded by images of makuu lmao

makuu and kion having a close friendship would be so fun, it's such a cool twist from canon cuz makuu is just that little bit more compassionate. it also means he becomes leader of the outlands! now THAT would be something to see

reformed kiburi 😍 who doesn't wanna see that?? him defending makuu's leadership and everything! what a twist from canon huh

i can just imagine the scene of makuu and kiburi reaching the tree of life, it takes all of kiburi's self control not to snap at bunga when he pounces him lmao. also he'd so be scared of lightning but pretend to be chill in front of makuu adsjjdhh. i love janja and azaad's friendly rivalry in canon, would be funny to see that with kiburi because "afraid of water, cheetah?" would make so much sense since he's a croc lol

OH MY GOD I JUST REALISED WE'D GET BABY CROCS IN "THE LAKE OF REFLECTION"!!!

also i love kiburi and reirei's allyship in canon so it'd be funny to see them bicker, and they'd get a song!!

the weird twist of hodari and kinyonga being the spies for scar's army while the skinks live in the pridelands as good guys. shupavu and njano actually being friends with the lion guard is really weird but also would be fun. njano wanting to be a croc! and SINGING!!! 🥺

in general, it would just be so goddamn funny for the lion guard to deal with kiburi's attitude all the time lmao

for janja

actual asshole janja is not something i thought of before but now i'm rocking with it. he literally just hates jasiri's rule, is like "nah, fuck you, i wanna be leader!" and gets his tail kicked like an idiot /affectionate

jasiri taking makuu's place and maybe being a bad leader at first?? that'd be pretty interesting to see especially with her personality. imagine her not being trusted at the savanna summit!

her being humbled by the pridelanders saving her clan would be awesome to see, i'd really like to see her personality shifted to the point where she's cocky and disrespectful but she betters herself

a hyena mashindano between jasiri and janja 👀 damn that'd be cool

i think i like this au of jasiri a lot bc she is involved in the pridelands, and it reminds me of this post <3 which could be even more fun if inserted into this au, with makuu as leader of the outlands accepted into the summit, cause crocs are a lot more dangerous than hyenas let me tell you that. it also adds depth bc it would be personal healing for kiara, as she was attacked by outlander crocodiles in TLK 2!

i wish i could talk more about janja but kiburi is canon does not have too much depth tbh 😭 but the concept of them swapping is soooo cool. it would be so trippy for them to be swapped when they meet in Let Sleeping Crocs Lie

i'm probably gonna get even more ideas after i post this i guarantee. just a very cool au with a lotta potential!!

[spacedykez]

my favorite things about epic the musical

but now we'll be the ones who ✨SLAY✨

i love how fast and intense the part where ody's giving orders is

the soldiers' little "WHOO"s after ody's lines OUGHHHH

*hawk screech* A VISION

"I know that I'm ready!! // I don't think you're ready..."

ody's voice is so SOFT when he's singing "it's just an infant"

zeus's voice is so deep. it fits him

the backing vocals on "if you don't end him now you'll have no one left to save // penelope!!"

ody & zeus's duet. no more needs to be said

"PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME DO THIS, DON'T MAKE ME DO THIS" sobs. ough.

"is the price i pay endless pain?" yeah. seems like it. i mean the odyssey makes sure to remind us that you have endured "much suffering" like fifty times so.

the second repetition of "when does a comet become a meteor" with the whole chorus singing....

"and ithaca's waiting!!" is such a satisfying line for some reason

"PENELOPE'S WAITING!!" they have the best relationship of anyone Ever actually.

the men singing "captain, what's the plan?" so satisfying

"we're up we're off and away we go!" yayyyyy

"captain! :D" "polities! :D" (dont talk to me SOBS)

this whole song is just so great tbh.

I LOVE when ody and the men are singing together. so fun. idk why its just satisfying

jungle noises!! also the beat to Open Arms is just SOOOOO very nice i don't know why something about the drums is just so very /pos though

the lotus-eaters' voices are very fun tbh. i love the overlapping vocals. they sound like Creechurs /pos

when the lotus-eaters go "oooooh!" after polites' lines >>>>

the high flute/whatever it its thats playing the melody of athena's lyrics as she sings them? oughh >>>>>

"Let's go!!"

ody's smug little "ha-ha-ha-ha"

you can HEAR the smile in athena's voice when ody tricks her. like. ooh yes this one this is my favorite mortal.

"nah, don't be modest, i know you're a goddess" >>>

i just LOVE how ody sings "you are ATHENA badass in the ARENA unmatched witty AND QUEEN OF the best stra-te-gies we've seen"

ody's little "ohkay" after athena's "we'll see where it ends." god he sounds so just. blorbo. in this song. yknow. hes just so smug cat /aff

warrior of the mind, just, like, in GENERAL, is great

THE ARROW FLYING AT THE START OF POLYPHEMUSSSS

"WHO ARE YOU." you can HEAR the oh shit

i love ody and the Cyclops' whole exchange. just something about it.

i love the cyclops' voice filter? whatever he's got goin on. very cool

"hey cyclops do you know what's better than eating me? GETTING DRUNK!!! yeah trust me dude youll NEVER wanna eat me now"

i appreciate him repeating "nobody" three times so absolutely NO ONE can miss it.

"I'm so glad we see eye to eye" hehe. cause. yeah.

"what..? WATCH OUT!!" >>>>>>

THE BEAT HERE GOES FUCKING CRAZYYYYYYY /pos

the whole not exactly call-and-repeat thing that ody and his men do during this song. just. man i love this musical.

when the men r singing in the background of ody singing >>>>

"captain..?" POLITESSSSSSSS :((((((((

the BANGING... like. its so emotional /pos.

the cyclops singing a version of the song ody and his men were singing before >>>>>

the sort of focusing-in thing at the start of Remember Them? i dont know. its just very satisfying

remember them is just a great song all around. amazing. 10/10 no notes

i lied i have notes. i LOVE the guitar riff thing? that happens around when ody says "SCATTER"

"captain" "wait" >>>>>

the cyclops sounds so SAD when hes saying "don't go! :("

"my comrades will not DIIIIII-EEE-IEEEE in vain." they always say it like "diii-EEEE-iiiiiieeee" and its very funny

the line "selfish and prideful and vain" is so funny after reading the odyssey. this goddess raised your child for you and saved your life like 1932094234 times. have some goddamn respect. gods.

"YOU'RE NOT LOOKING FOR A MENTOR I'M NOT LOOKING FOR A FRIEND!" callbacks to previous songs >>>>>>

"wiser, why's your" love that. (sounds alike)

the little stuttering the music does at the end of this song!!! so satisfying.

[your-divine-ribs]

I’m With the Band Part 11

Words: 2.9k

Arabella gets her revenge 💖

I’m With the Band Masterlist Main Masterlist

As the venue starts to fill up I’m caught between wanting to stay and watch the show or storming out in a huff, but I don't want Van to know exactly how much he's riled me up. I’m feeling mad. Really mad. Seething in fact.

The crowds spill in and I soon find myself pressed up against the barrier. There's excited chatter all around me and I glance behind to see an ocean of faces all wearing smiles, some stretching up on tip-toes to get a better view. A group of exuberant girls around my age take the spot to the left of me and I can't help but overhear their comments they're talking so loud.

"If Van comes out to meet fans after the show I'm going to slip him my phone number!"

"As if he'd be interested in you Donna!"

"Shut up Amy, when he came out after the gig last week he made a point of speaking to me. And he signed my t-shirt!"

"I'm surprised you didn't ask him to sign your tits!"

Raucous laughter erupts at this comment, then one girl announces, "Anyway, I reckon he's got a girlfriend. Did you see that girl he arrived with? She was gorgeous!"

There's murmurs of agreement and a few sighs.

"Shhh... keep your voice down... she's standing right next to you!" One voice hisses, and there's some jostling in the crowd as the girls all take turns to crane their necks to give me the once over.

I just stand there with a smug grin painted on, flicking my hair back and trying for a modelesque pose even though it's hard to do so with all these teenage girls jostling to get to the front. It's looking more and more like Van's quite the heartthrob which annoyingly just makes him all the more desirable. But there's no way he's getting one over on me. No way at all. I’m used to calling the shots.

The venue lights suddenly dim and the crowd surges forward and I find people pushing and shoving, trying to battle for the coveted barrier spot on all sides. I’m determined not to give up my prime position, my grip claw-like on the cool metal, my body pressed up against it.

Through the gloom I can just make out four figures coming on to the stage and taking up their places. Even though it's just the guys I find that my tummy is churning with excitement.

The lights gradually go up and Van steps up to the mic. "Hello Manchester, we are Catfish and the Bottlemen. Thank you very much for having us!"

The crowd erupt into cheers, whistles and screams and it's deafening but exhilarating at the same time. Pride blooms like a warm glow inside me as I take in the impressive impact the band have on the fans. As soon as Van starts to sing the crowd join in as one and to my complete surprise they know all the words. Every single one.

I got mislead, mistook, discard

Anything that I said

See I'm not the type to call you up drunk

But I've got some lies to tell

Van's voice is amazing, literally breathtaking and it's not just him that blows me away. The whole band gel so well together, no one misses a beat. Despite being pushed and shoved around with the occasional elbow in the ribs I find myself being caught up in it all, moving to the music, listening for the lyrics so I can join in with the choruses. Every song's an anthem.

It’s impractical

To go out and catch your death in a dress fit for the summer

So you don’t

Instead you call me up with a head full of filth

Each band member's well and truly giving it their all but my eyes keep wandering back to Van. I can't help it, he's captivating to watch as he struts up and down the stage, thrashing about with his guitar. He looks right at me, shooting me a cheeky wink and a grin, and I curse myself that he's probably caught me staring. I’m aware that my mouth’s agape and I’m blatantly ogling him. I mean, how can I not? His presence on stage literally commands my attention. I’m not sure whether it's the passion he puts into the performance, the way he keeps swinging those goddamn hips or the fact that he's practically making out with the microphone, but whatever it is it's making my pulse and my mind race. I finding myself playing a scenario in my head where I grab his hand the minute he steps off the stage to drag him off to the toilets to finish what he started earlier. I want to see how those hips would feel fucking me up against the wall...

"They're amazing aren't they?"

A female voice sounds right in my ear, bringing me back from my sordid daydream, and I turn to see a pretty petite girl with auburn hair standing next to me.

"Huh?"

"The guys... they're amazing!" She repeats, beaming at me. "I can see Van's caught your attention!"

Is it that obvious?

"Oh... errr... yeah well... he's got... a great voice..."

She gives me a knowing smile before taking a slurp of her pint. "Your Larry's cousin aren't you? I'm Lucy, Bob's girlfriend."

"Yeah I'm Arabella, how did you know who I was?"

"Oh, Bob pointed you out earlier on when they were setting up," she tells me, her smile getting even wider. "Sounds like you've caused quite a stir amongst the lads!"

I’m just about to ask her what she means but the crowd suddenly surge forward again, wildly chanting some lyrics that sound remarkably like "fuck it if they talk!"

I give up trying to hold a conversation and let myself get caught up in the music once again. I’m actually having the time of my life and I don't want to miss a minute of it.

The last song of the night is wild, a fitting finale with a rousing chorus and lots of guitar crescendos. Van absolutely goes off on one, tossing his head around, twisting his body. The crowd are losing their shit and it's not hard to see why.

Before the song has even come to an end I feel a hand over mine and turn to see that Lucy’s trying to urge me to follow her. I hesitate, pulling back, but she's insistent.

"C'mon Arabella! If we go now we'll catch the boys coming off stage."

I allow myself to be led along, fighting through the sweaty bodies and pushing through into the night. It's a warm evening, but it's still a lot cooler outside than the humid air of the venue and I suck in a breath of fresh air gratefully.

"I love catching them coming off stage, they're always so hyped!" Lucy says excitedly.

I reach up to titivate my hair, wanting to look my best, dismayed to find that it feels knotty and tangled after dancing in the sweaty atmosphere.

"Ughhh I must look such a mess," I complain, pulling my dress away from my body. "I'm all hot and flustered."

"Shut up you look gorgeous!" Lucy laughs, leading me to a door and giving our names to the security guard. "Wait till you see the guys anyway. Especially Van, he's usually dripping with sweat after a gig!"

That just sets me off again. The thought of Van's body slick with sweat pressing me up against the wall of some dingy backroom in the venue just fills my head with wicked thoughts.

Stop it Arabella! You're supposed to be playing hard to get. And what about Johnny?

I arrive at the side of the stage, sparks of excitement shooting through me as I hear Van calling out a thank you over the mic and the deafening roar of the crowd. It's dark, but I can just make out four figures moving towards us, backlit by the stage lights.

Bob and Benji emerge from the shadows first and I hug them both. Lucy squeals excitedly and throws herself into Bob's arms, practically knocking him off his feet.

"What did ya think Bella? Class, eh?" Van's unmistakeable voice rings out and I feel myself tense as I turn to him.

Just as Lucy said, he's drenched, his black shirt sticking to his body and his hair hanging around his face in damp strands. Larry throws a towel to him and he rubs his face with it before slinging it over his shoulder. I'm just about to answer when I see Johnny directly behind Van.

I purposefully walk forward as if I'm moving towards Van, watching his arms raise up like he's going to hug me, then at the last minute I swerve, making straight for Johnny, launching myself at him.

"You were great!" I cry with enthusiasm, pushing myself up on my tiptoes to plant a kiss on Johnny's lips, wrapping my arms around his waist.

He looks shocked as I pull away, then a huge grin stretches across his face as he looks down on me. A twinge of guilt shoots through me as I sneak a glance at Van and note that he's definitely noticed my blatant show of ignoring him.

"You really thought so?" Johnny asks, and I quickly look away from Van and back to him, but not before I note the looks that Larry's giving me.

Of course Larry knows the game I'm playing, and I feel ashamed for all of one minute, before I reason with myself that Van totally deserves it. Getting me all fired up like that then leaving me aching for more? What does he expect me to do? Beg for it? Well, fuck him.

"You're amazing on that guitar Johnny," I simper, loud enough for Van to hear. "And I've been thinking, I definitely want those guitar lessons you were on about if you still want to teach me?"

Johnny slips an arm around my waist as we all make our way to the breakout room at the back of the venue. "Yeah of course, I can't wait to teach ya. We'll have loads of time on the tour bus too. It'll be fun."

I glance at Van again as I move past him, a small smirk playing on my lips, then I look away.

The band's manager, Dan, is waiting in the room, handing out ice cold bottles of beer and congratulations to the boys. Larry introduces me and he gives me a barely veiled stony look which quickly turns into a warm smile as soon as Larry utters the words "little cousin".

"Oh my god, you thought I was a groupie didn't you?" I challenge him boldly, and he looks awkwardly down at his feet, mumbling out his reply.

"Nah... nah of course not, I know the lads aren't into all that. It's really nice to meet you Arabella."

I shake his hand, accepting a bottle of beer and clinking the top of it with Johnny's before I take a swig.

"Arabella might become the fifth member of the band yet when I've taught her how to play!" Johnny laughs, and I beam up at him.

"I'll show you boys how it's done!"

"I don't doubt that for a minute," he says, digging in his pocket and producing a packet of cigarettes. "I'm just gonna go for a smoke love, okay?"

I nod and watch him go, then glance around, noting Benji jabbing at his phone with a dismayed expression on his face, and I'm just about to walk over to him to see if he's okay when I feel a hand on my shoulder and I whirl around to see Van standing there.

"What do you want?" I snap.

I was expecting a cocky remark or snide comment but to my surprise Van looks contrite. "Can I have a word... in private?"

I aim for a fierce expression, but Van's got a kind of wounded puppy dog look about him, his blue eyes fixed on mine sorrowfully. I can feel my resolve weakening.

Damn him!

"Can't we just talk here?" I say, taking a deep pull on my beer.

"I didn't think you wanted anyone to know we hooked up," he whispers, but it's a stage whisper and it's loud and my eyes dart to Larry to check that he's not overheard.

"Jesus Van we didn't!" I hiss. "That was just... that was... nothing!"

He smirks then. "Didn't sound like nothing from those noises you were making..."

For fucks sake, I knew it wouldn't take long before the real Van came out to play.

"And there was me thinking you were coming over to apologise!" I say haughtily, going to turn my back on him, but to my surprise he reaches for my hand, pulling it firmly.

"Van, what're you..." I start, but then my voice trails off as I look at him.

He's got a wicked glint in his eye and the index finger from his free hand pressed against his lips. He's slowly backing towards the corridor and despite my better judgement I find myself letting him lead me, silently chanting a mantra in my head that I am definitely not going to do anything with him. Nothing at all. Not even a kiss.

Van doesn't take me far. There's a small alcove off the adjacent corridor that's just about big enough for both of our bodies to fit into... if we squeeze together tightly. Of course that would be a really bad idea though... wouldn't it?

The little angel sat on one of my shoulders certainly thinks so, telling me that I'm a strong woman and I should totally resist Van, but the devil on the other side is busy ushering me in.

I come to a stop with my back up against the wall and Van moves forward until he's so close his hips are touching mine. Those hips...

Stop it Arabella!

"So... what do you want?" I say, trying to keep my voice flat, raising an eyebrow at Van.

"You know what I want," he grins. "And I think you want the same thing."

He plants both hands on the wall on either side of my head, leaning in, his breath warm on my face. We could get caught like this. Johnny or Larry or one of the others could come wandering around the corner at any minute. Instead of deterring me though, the thrill of doing something illicit actually makes my heart start to race.

Then it hits me like a thunderbolt. Of course! Why the fuck didn't I think of it before? If Van wants to play games then he's met his ultimate match in me....

I look right back at him, meeting his gaze unwaveringly. "Hmm... now what is it that you think I want, huh Van?"

He goes to open his mouth to speak, but before he gets chance to I shoot out a hand straight between his legs, pushing it firmly against the denim, satisfied when I hear a sharp inhale from him and a stunned expression cross his face.

"Is this what you think I want?" I say, my voice low, my other hand disappearing under his shirt and going to the waistband of his jeans, fingers dipping inside.

"It is, isn't it?" He murmurs, mouth falling agape, then going completely slack as my fingers deftly slide further down, reaching under the elastic of his underwear for his cock and wrapping my fingers around it.

His arrogance disintegrates in a second, his eyes clouded with lust and a sense of pleading as I slowly begin to move my hand up and down his shaft.

"Fucking 'ell Bella..." he groans, pressing his hips forward.

He leans in to kiss me but I shoot up my free hand to grasp his jaw, pushing his head back against the wall. He just lets me, closing his eyes and breathing deeply. I smile to myself. I've got him right where I want him. In the palm of my hand... literally.

I can feel his dick twitching as it stiffens under my grip, a small groan emanating from low in his throat as I stretch up on to my tiptoes to press my lips against his neck, tasting the saltiness of the sweat on his skin. My heart's going a million beats a minute and I could easily lose self-control but I rein in my desire.

"Mmm... you like that Van, yeah?" I whisper in his ear.

Of course if he wasn't so caught up in the notion that I was set to jerk him off until his release right there and then in the corridor he'd probably realise that he used the exact same line on me just hours before.

"Fuck yeah..." he breathes, eyes screwed shut, his chest rising and falling deeply.

In a swift movement I release him, pulling my hand out of his jeans and stepping back, watching his eyes snap open in shock, his mouth fall open even further.

"Wha..." he begins, but I don't let him finish.

"Well, I suggest you go to the gents and sort yourself out then!" I smirk, pressing both hands against his chest and pushing firmly so I can slip past him back into the main corridor.

"But Bella... you can't just..."

He doesn't even finish his sentence. I'm already on my way back to the room, not looking back, giving a dismissive little wave with a flick of my hand.

Let the games begin...

[turtlemagnum]

today was the day my grandpa retired. he came into work, sat in the break room and talked to everybody who wanted to say goodbye at work all day. he got to see this one regular shopper who always brought her dog, he got to pet her (and so did i, eventually). me and my grandma got there at about 2:30 or so, and stayed until about 4, which is when he got clapped out. i swear, every fucking employee in the company was there, and we all clapped as he passed by. it's weird to say about my goddamn grandpa, but i felt proud of him in that moment. then we went to the bar that they planned his retirement party at. turned out to be a gay bar, which they didn't know when they planned it, but they didn't have a problem with it either. was nice to have a bar i could feel comfortable wearing my pride pins at.

the party felt a bit rough on my end, at the start. shit got crowded quick, and for the first little while they kept sending me out to the car to get one little thing they forgot. but, i got some food in me (which was mostly pretty damn good), and then i started talking to my mom, which led to talking to family members i either hadn't seen for a while or hadn't met at all, which turned out nice. i played darts with someone who turned out to be my little cousin, little gremlin thing was only 14. i had to stop her from getting tetanus, apparently earlier in the month she decided to grab a motherfucking snapping turtle, frankly amazed she's still in one piece. her grandfather was the man who took me to shoot for the first time, so goddamn many years ago. my mom asked him about something gun related and his response gave me the bittersweet revelation that in terms of technical information, i've surpassed him in the intervening years. i can guarantee he's still a better shot than me though, given just a relative lack of experience on my end.

at first i only drank water because the only non-alcoholic drinks the barkeep said she had were non-alcoholic beer and coke products, and given the current boycott i'm trying my best to steer clear from coke products. then my little cousin mentioned she wanted a daiquiri, and apparently they had them available so i got one too (or first, rather, just by sheer luck of the draw). virgin, of course, just like i used to get when i was a little kid. one of the many things that felt nostalgic tonight. karaoke had started, and i saw my grandparents dancing together to a love song, and i felt like crying. it was through a window, but i saw a very special moment. a part of me was envious, for what they have. i'd never tell them that, though.

eventually, the crowd that came for the party started clearing out, and there were a few unrelated people who just came for the karaoke. one was a beautiful woman with an even more beautiful singing voice. my mom really hit it off with her after she sang, though i couldn't hear a word they said due to how loud the music was. the same could be said of my grandparents talking right next to me. i was resting my arm on my grandma's chair, and i felt it wobble from being a bit uneven. i decided to wiggle the chair a bit, which got a smile out of her. something else i remember from earlier was that i talked to my uncle. a bit about him:

he's my grandma's adopted little brother. i mention that he's adopted because he's native. don't know what tribe or anything, he's never mentioned it and frankly, given how he taught us kids words in "indian" i'm not entirely sure he knew either. again, adopted. in terms of raising him my great grandparents did about as good a job as white people living in the 1970s coulda done, frankly. because of that bleeding over into how my grandparents and how my mother raised me, i'd like to think i have a fairly healthy amount of respect and interest in indigenous cultures the world over; especially for somebody whiter than a cracker. so because of him, i don't think i'd be as good a person as i am today without his impact in a somewhat roundabout way, given how we were never the closest or anything. maybe when i was a lot younger, but the years have definitely gone on. and my only regret is that i feel like i can't really communicate how him and his son have impacted who i am as a person.

regardless, i talked with him for a bit. he asked what i was doing with my life, and i mentioned that i've been planning on getting my CDL and becoming a truck driver. he was also a truck driver before he somewhat recently retired, so he gave me a lot of advice, what to expect, what to look for, so on. he mentioned that the biggest downside to trucking is that it gets real lonely, and i said that was fine by me because i'm already a lonely person. he responded saying that it'd be the perfect job for me, then, and empathized with me when i mentioned how shitty that grocery job was. the conversation trailed off after his son, my cousin, came back after paying their bill. he was there with his girlfriend, who started talking about how she wanted to punch the owner dude for how he treated the barkeep lady. i just sorta slinked off from there

a few highlights and notable occurrences of today include: me and my grandma going to the car to be there for my grandpa while it was pouring goddamn buckets, like seriously just a little bit earlier the weather got bad enough that we thought somebody tried to bust open the door at first. being up at the bar with my mom and some guy mentioning that i looked like some guy from the smashing pumpkins(?), with both him and my mom being amazed that i didn't know who they were. he got especially amazed when i mentioned that she was my mom, he just sorta thought we were friends. he pulled up a picture of the guy on his phone and i did see the resemblance in the sense that he was a bald guy with a wide facial structure. one of my relatives i hadn't met before (at least, to my own recollection) wanted to see my eyes, because she wanted to see if i got them from my grandpa. his are blue, mine are hazel. regardless, she said i had beautiful eyes and an even more beautiful smile. really lit up my night, especially after my grandpa mentioned that i usually have beautiful hair too. also led to me having a conversation with the gun grandpa relative guy about how when i was a lot younger, i had my hair a bit longer once and then an old lady i held open a door for called me a "nice young lady" and i immediately shaved it, which he mentioned how he used to be a hippie dude which then went into a whole thing about him struggling with alcoholism and such. after the whole conversation topic had essentially run its course, i mentioned how growing up with my mom i heard a lot about the shit that addiction had done to our family, so i've made sure to never start anything, and i couldn't quite get a read on it but he seemed a bit proud.

at one point my mom was doing karaoke, this was later on in the night. she was doing green day, and she was just bad. had no sense for the flow of the words, no real tune to it, just god awful, it was great. she gestured for me to come up and sing with her, which i denied vehemently, mostly because i knew the song wasn't suited to my voice at all. which, to be fair, it wasn't suited for hers, either, but i actually cared about sounding good. i remembered how many years ago, she told me how much i sucked at singing, and it really hurt my little kid ego. then, a few years back now, back when i had a friend group they all agreed that i had a pretty good singing voice. so when i went up for karaoke, i felt pretty confident in sounding at least decent, albeit anxiety ridden as all hell.

here's the thing about my singing voice. it's not really suited for most of the music i'm really into, much less shit like modern-ish pop or rock or anything like that. i think it's unequivocally best suited for oldies, especially shit like sinatra. so, that's what i went with, and put in blue moon. i had songs from new vegas on the mind, since earlier the guy running the karaoke equipment sang why don't you do right from it presumably to fill the gaps between actual customers wanting to sing. and god dammit, when i got up and grabbed the microphone i was fucking shaking, especially my legs. i was anxious, because i wasn't sure if i was gonna turn out well, and to my relief i did. something i think was one of my better points was my rhythm/timing, i can't say i know the words by heart but i do know the way they're sung deep in my bones. i kept my eyes glued to the lyric screen until the first break in the song, and then i looked at the "crowd" (which, wasn't very many people but still). they all seemed to be genuinely enjoying it, and not at my expense either. something else i'm particularly proud of is how i'd occasionally misspeak (missing?) e.g. saying "flew moon" instead of "blue moon", but i managed to stay almost perfectly in sync with how the song's supposed to go without stopping and going "ah shit", y'know. i definitely know it's an important skill in live performances to be able to just keep on going even if you fuck up, so i'm definitely pretty happy about that.

afterwards i got applause. and like, i had been there for the night, i could definitely tell the polite applause from the "oh shit that was good" applause y'know. i didn't get as much hype as the lady who was an actually good singer, but i could tell that i did a pretty good job. my mom said that i did really good too, and both her and my grandpa congratulated me on having the balls to actually get up there and sing because they know how i am. afterwards my grandpa said he was genuinely impressed, and i know for a fact he'd let it be known that i did a shitty job if i did a shitty job, so that meant a lot. it was, in fact, my first time ever singing karaoke, so despite not being The Best tonight we're all definitely happy with how it turned out. that felt really nice.

it's bittersweet, seeing that he's finally done with this fucking job. he literally had number 1 seniority in the entire company, and this isn't a small company. it's mostly local, but it's big enough that there are a few stores in places like chicago. all of the people he worked with clearly loved him, and i'm glad that i have a grandpa worth being considered "the best boss i've ever had" by so many goddamn people. we had people who he hadn't even worked with in years, who moved to other jobs or other stores, they all came just to show how much they loved him. i'm glad he's so loved, i love him too. i just hope he doesn't go fucking insane from being home so damn much. tonight was a good night

[infinitelytheheartexpands]

so! der rosenkavalier!!!

so first off, the elephant in the room: yes, there are some highly questionable elements of the plot that make me go “hmm! :/“ (to somewhat quote mean girls: “marie therese, step away from the underaged teenagers!”). for the purposes of not driving myself mad, i will try to refrain from discussing these for the remainder of the report.

anyway.

this music sings. this music delights. still not my fave strauss opera by any means but i would be lying if i wasn’t delighted. the presentation of the rose and the final trio and duet gave me full-body chills. i love the waltzes. so sugary sweet like the gelato i got after the show. there are so many golden little details in the score.

simone young did a great job imo—i’ve seen her get flak online about this run of performances but i don’t get it. she was great. the orchestra and chorus and many comprimarios were all fabulous.

it’s been a while since i’ve seen this production and it holds up really well!!! love the costumes and sets. LOVE them. not a fan of the wwi ending tho—just let octavian and sophie have their moment at long last 🥺 plus it doesn’t fit with the ending musically.

one other thing about the staging: i’m sure this was intentional but goddamn, a lot of the second act was UNCOMFORTABLE to watch, like make your skin crawl uncomfortable (and it did not help that several men in the audience at my theater were full-on laughing when ochs all but assaulted sophie all over that extended act ii sequence when he first shows up at faninal’s). god, baron ochs is such a fucking creep. and while i don’t like him as a person in the slightest, i have to hand it to günther groissböck for making ochs supremely unlikeable while still singing with strong command.

among the comprimarios and non-credited-in-the-intro people, special mention of alexandra lobianco (an excellent marianne) and tony stevenson (an absolute delight as the innkeeper in drag).

speaking of which, gotta say that even with them in new york and me in oklahoma, it was somehow comforting to see people in drag and same-sex kisses in this, given the political climate and the rising sentiments against drag and lgbtqia+ people. i thought about that a lot during the broadcast.

katharine goeldner and thomas ebenstein were HOOTS as annina and valzacchi. love them. rené barbera made the italian singer’s aria sound effortless (and looked GREAT in his white suit). brian mulligan did a great job as herr von faninal—i’d love to hear him in something italian though, his voice sounds made for italian rep.

and now for the three leading ladies, who were all divine both separately and together.

erin morley is one of my fave currently active sopranos right now and this sophie showed exactly why: voice like a dream, great actress, warm, intelligent, full of fire! i love her take on sophie so much. she GETS it. (and i may or may not have cheered when she slapped ochs in act ii.)

lise davidsen is another of my fave currently active sopranos right now (albeit a more recent discovery than erin morley) and her marschallin surprised me in a good way. what i remember most from her ariadne auf naxos hd last year was simply how stunningly powerful and beautiful and BIG her voice was, but this was equally amazing in a totally different way: she can rein it in too, baby! she can be so delicate and tender too and it just mesmerized me totally (and brought tears to my eyes a few times). and she made the part feel and look so natural! great singer and great actress? (and also gorg)—she’s the total package.

i was barely, if at all, familiar with samantha hankey before this but holy FUCK. she won my heart immediately. she is just a total delight and absolutely the real deal. that voice!!! it’s so creamy and beautiful and full of light!!! (and she can alter it at will too—her mariandel voice was SO different and so delightful). and she’s a totally natural actress, INCREDIBLY versatile and moving. octavian is a HUGE role and a VERY VARIED role and she totally fuckin nailed it and i want to see her in basically everything now. mark my words, y’all: she’s sensational. she’s gonna be the next big mezzo superstar.

anyway 10/10 plot weirdness inherent to the opera aside this is a definite recommend

edit: yes i was hoping to NOT have discourse about the plot but rereading this now i realize i may not have been clear about that in my choice of wording in the first few paragraphs. no hate to anyone who DID engage in discourse, that was my bad

[nami-lvr]

Correct OP: Part 3

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4

Ft: Shanks, Law, Ace, Sabo, Marco, Smoker, and princess Vivi

A/N: I love everyone on this list like for real come kiss me Vivi 🙁🙁 SHANKS TOO. HE IS SO FINE. SO IS ACE. LIKE GYYYYYAT!! Next part is Enel, Katakuri, Big Mom, Kidd, Arlong, and Yamato (last part)

Shanks

Loud ass snoring

Does not care

Aaabsolutley pulls bitches

Marines or not marines

Paints his nails the brightest most noticeable colors

Bright yellow

Hot pink

Neon green

Absolutely outstanding father

10/10 dad

The one you call to get drunk or high or cross faded with

Would deal his kids weed to make sure they stay safe

Would also give alcohol recommendations

all when they’re legally allowed ofc

Law

Definitely

A lil fruitcake

Sorry to all Law simps but he is AroAce and atp it’s cannon

Would not be into romance at all

Ever

He would definitely read gay dirty books though

“I WAS JUST CURIOUS-“

Boooo lame excuse

Like

Ok gay ass 🥸

Would dress like a teen boy trying to be cool

Would be an outstanding father if he ever had kids

Would be so into Star Trek not even joking

Speaking Klingon and allat

Stoner

WEED SMOKER

Is a Math/Science kinda smart guy

Ace

I do not give a single shit what this GIF looks like

Ace has a hooked nose

And crooked teeth

And heterochromia

One green eye one brown eye type shit

Is color blind

The green and red kind

Can not drive

Do not let him behind the wheel

Please

Got that greasy hair

That unwashed stench

Overgrown armpit hair

Has a forest under there

A REALLY GOOD LOOKING HAPPY TRAIL ☹️☹️

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW GOOD HIS HAPPY TRAIL LOOKS I SWEAR TO YOU

Sabo

This motherfucker is inSANE

Bro needs to go back to the mental health institution

Has a gold tooth

Has cologne on always

And it smells so good

Doesn’t brush his hair

But its fine bc he really pulls off the messy look

Tried to grow a beard and it did not look good

Is very organized

Is insecure about his scars

(Secretly) looks at guys

Not so secretly looks at girls

Is definitely bisexual

TRANSGENDER

Choked on the devil fruit when he ate it

Messy eater

CROOKED NOSE

It’s basically facts that the ASL brothers have crooked noses

Except for Ace with his hooked nose

Can speak Spanish but not Portuguese

Loser can’t speak the language he grew up around 💀💀

Marco

Just GET A DIFFERENT BARBER GYAT DAMN 😭😭

At least get a fade

Has male pattern baldness

Knows his hair is bad (doesn’t care)

Has cavities

Doesn’t floss

Does not wear deodorant

would definitely dress grungy

And or punk

And have a mohawk sometimes ;p

And think he’s the shit

When he needs to fix that GODDAMN HAIR

He would be gay

Oh my god how gay he would be

Has SEX

This guy FUCKS

Idk how but I feel like he pulls some major bitches

Smoker

TBH I would fuck him and I’m literally asexual

So yk this dude is getting it on

Has tried to smoke 20 cigars at once

Succeeded somehow

Type of guy to say “I bet five dollars that___” and always lose

But does it anyways

GOD at rock paper scissors

You may win the first time you play him, but that’s because he’s watching your tactics

Sneaky little bastard

Straight and Cis but fully supports the LGBTQIA+

“They don’t bother me, and even if a queer person did bother me, it would only be that specific one. Not all of them.”

It makes no sense how people get bullied for things they can’t control

Very stand up kinda guy

Beats up bullies type of fella

Princess Vivi

She is so fine istg

She would for sure pull

Would have an unbelievably dark past by age 30

God of never have I ever

Would just own everyone in it

The coolest backstory

Paints her nails to match her hair

Looks really good in modest dresses

Uh

She’s Hispanic

Not sorry

For real she is

I think she would really like cats

Keeps in contact with the strawhats

Buys them things and all that

Gives them supply crates like food and fresh ingredients

Really likes working with kids

Would be an amazing and patient teacher

Would have a really good singing voice

Looks absolutely amazing in white

[sunatoru]

NO WAIT I'M STILL HERE— AJHDJSAJS SORRY FOR BEING SO LATE I'VE BEEN DISTRACTED 😭

BUT THIS CHAPTER MAN DO I FEEL SATISFIED LIKE YUUJI I'M SORRY BUT YOU DESERVED EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED TO YOU IN THAT MOMENT, Imagine begging for your life after threatening that of an innocent soul like sir, you have no room— not to mention the way he crumbled the SECOND he heard the singing was *CHEF'S KISS* I COULD NOT HAVE ASKED FOR A BETTER CONCLUSION AND ENDING FOR A CHARACTER LIKE PIRATE TERU AND HIS CREW

THEN WE HAVE THE SISTERS COMING IN SPEARS OUT, VOICES READY, MELODY PLANNED OUT FOR THIS RESCUE MISSION HELL YEAH! How they literally tell him straight up that "Bro we fuckin hate your guts for what you did to our sister but we can't throw you away bc you know where she is so get to it errand boy" 👌 and the way the started criticizing Y/N's taste in men 💀 they really wanna hammer it in to him that *no we don't like you. At all.* but I'm so glad they still care abt Y/N so much despite her probably almost starting an inter-merwar bc of some guy named rintarou 😭

Y/N MY SWEET SIREN LADY YOU ARE FREE NOW, FREE TO FIND ANOTHER MAN LIKE PLEASE LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES AND FISH OUT THOSE RED FLAGS BEFORE THEY HURT YOU AGAIN </3 BUT I'M SO HAPPY SHE'S OK NOW AND HER TAIL IS ON IT'S WAY TO BECOMING NORMAL AGAIN AHSHDHAJSHSHAJAH Siren Y/N learned a LOT about humanity during her captive days and they were NOT great like at ALL (ok maybe except for that weird healer lady) BUT I hope she would still be willing to give humans a chance because she needs to know that the rest of us (who aren't pirates, freak circus owners, corrupt zoo owners, yadda yadda yadda) aren't that bad, yk specifically the human me ;) we can be besties Y/N don't worry, I'll kick the shins of everyone out to hurt you <33333

AND FINALLY RINTAROU FUCKING SUNA..... you did pretty good, yeah I still hate your guts for being a SELFISH SEA TURD but at least you acknowledge that what you did was fucked up and tried to make it right even if it is going to stain your conscious and life records forever, I WILL SAY I'm impressed at how much he made me un-hate him, I mean he's still like the worst but yk less worst and maybe yeah, the punishment of him being banished to the human world forever and never being able to go back to the ocean is k i n d a s a d, cause I'm WEAK to tropes where it's like the last you'll be able to do or see something so that explains the crack in my heart rn :" But goddamn, he learned his lesson and accepted it with grief and regret *pat pat* you did well and I begrudgingly hope for your redemption and rebirth as a character

Yk, maybe the epilogue would end with them just seeing each other one day after years and being like "Hey" "Hey" and asking how they've been, then revealing how they've got their own lives both in the ocean and on land.... I mean it could also go the route where they try to make it work but I feel like that would take one long epilogue to explain 😅 but I really look forward to what conclusion their stories will reach, whether they fall in love correctly this time or learn from their mistakes and become better people respectively, I really want to say that you have made an *AMAZING* story of two people with similar dreams yet different ways of fulfilling them, Y/N simply wanted to run away and never look back with him but Rin wanted to have his freedom set in stone no matter what it took even if it meant having to sacrifice someone he was supposed to care for

Man, this conclusion is making me EMOTIONAL 😭 but I want you to know that even if it doesn't seem like there wasn't a lot of hype for this series, I'm glad I got to be part of the hype that was there :D I'm so glad I was one of the reasons you kept going strong with this series till the end :) I'll be patiently waiting for that epilogue so go at your pace! (Also, you are one of the reasons I decided to start writing on tumblr so thanks for being inspiring with this series <333)

HAISHWOSB HIHIIII YOUR REACTIONS MAKE ME SO HAPPY TEHEHEH

HAHSHAHA ERRAND BOY😭

i’m glad i was able to make you un-hate suna, he does deeply regret what happened and i hope one day i’ll be able to revisit this series and explore his grief more! spin-off series where suna lives eternity as a human and watches humanity evolve??? 🤭🤭 jokes jokes (possibly)

“i really want to say that you have made an *AMAZING* story of two people with similar dreams yet different ways of fulfilling them.” STOP YOURE ACTUALLY GONNA MAKE ME CRY WTF 😭😭😭that’s so sweet of you i’m skdhwidnwk i really appreciate how much you looked into this story!!

IM SO GLAD YOU WERE PART OF THE HYPE TOO, the group of people who reblogged and sent asks or commented really helped carry this series and my motivation to finish it. i’m excited to write more for you guys and i hope i can do better with my next series :,>

ALSO WTF HELLO PLS DROP YOUR WRITING BLOG I WILL FOLLOW YOU AND HYPE UP YOUR POSTS THATS SOA WIDHOWBDWO,, MEEEE??? I AM ONE OF THE READONS YOU STARTED WRITING, i am fr so honoured oh my God 🫣🫂🫂🫂

[that-tall-queer-bassist]

The Wisdom Saga

*screaming*

Legendary

i love the piano and the melody of this so much

i love this song

so much omg

he just wants to be like his dad.... he wants to know his dad and be close to him in any way....... augh

"Somebody come tell me, give me a sign" YEAH

CHORUS CHORUS CHORUS CHORUS CHORSU ITS SO ICONIC OMG

his little "l-l-l-l-legendary" gets me every time

"men who call me small" he's like. 20 isnt he? goddamn

augh verses and bridges...

CHORUS CHORUS CHORUS

ugh the fucking suitors

theyre so nasty i hate them and i love hating them

"tramp" BITCH DONT YOU DARE

this bitch is so antagonstic omg

OH HES tALKING ABOUT THE SUITOR AS THE MONSTER OH

Little Wolf

this is such a good beat

I hate and love this because i hate the suitors but i love to do it you know?

bruh youre threatening this baby

calling Ody his "daddy" seems so antagonistic omg

the voice actors did a great job. singers? va's? idk

vicious fucking chorus-

YEAHHHH ATHENA

the return of the ticking and the piano

the fact that telemachus's and athenas piano feel similar to me...

oh athena is so badass

i love calling teh suitors dogs and telemachus a wolf

ShE SAID LITTLE WOLF CHANGING TEH MEANING OMG

AhhhHHHHHH THIS SONG GOES SO HARD

oof poor guy got pushed too hard and lost :<

"man to adorn her" i feel like i heard that wrong

"Tell me Athena why you came to my aid" good line to end on very good

We'll Be Fine

the piano sounds so sad and hopeful at the same time

I wonder if telemachus knows shes talking about odysseus

ough blaming herself for Ody turning out this way...

god her voice is so pretty, this song is so pretty and i love it

oh i guess he doesn't know

"I got in a fight and i didn't die" BRO THATS BARE MINIMUM??

i mean hes got a bunch of points

he's so hopeful it hurts

god i cant wait for the rueinion

"you're a good kid" "thanks" AUGH STAB ME ALREADY

Love in Paradise

oooooh so many refrains returning

I forgot about this i love it

choosing that section of thunder bringer is CRUEL

and then waves and a new synth for Calypso :>

She sounds so pretty omg

"She's my wife" "anyways-" BRO

"I'm not your man" in the same way he sings I'm Just A Man

"I'm no pet I'm a married man!" DAMN RIGHT

Her introduction is so catchy and fun though omg

He sounds so distraught

7 years oof

i wonder if it was 20 years away from home actually

god he sounds so fucking tragic and sad and she's trying so hard, but he cant augh

"Stay in my open arms" to polites singing omg mean to me

this song is so good-

HE CALLED FOR ATHENA??

and the ticking!!!!

"He needs my help" YEAH HE DOES

God Games

this sog goes so hard omg

omg she's openly claiming him as a friend

the brass fuck yeah

TH EINTRODUCTIONS GO SO HARD

also all the animatics for these are so amazing as well

"bring it" yeahhh!!

Apollo is so easy omg. i love him. im writing fic about him. i have to.

Heaphestus was also convinced pretty easy, which was nice

Aphrodite and Ares section was interesting, probably the most interesting story wise.

I love ares intro and section

YEAHHH ATHENA GET THEIR ASSES GET EM FUCK YEAH

i love the return of her motif and stuff <- doesn't know the correct terminology sorry

Heras section is so groovy i love it

AND FUNNY OMG THATS GREAT

and she won but she didnt but she will

Zeus you sore loser cringe fuck

i would bitch slap him even if he made me ash a second later

god i can't believe he almost killed athena thats so fucking- AHAKJJ

and her motif.... AND IT COMING BACK WITH THE BRASS YEAHHHH

SHE WINS. SHE WINS. SHES GOTTA.

Ending on "Let him go, please, let him go" is MEAN TO ME SPECIFICALLY

god i love tihs saga so much

and this album

Live Reaction of my SECOND listen through of EPIC: The Musical

okay i want my Thoughts after finishing the first listen through today (over the course of a week) but i need to listen Again so here we fucking go peoples. Reblogging with each new saga to keep things organized a bit :)

The Troy Saga

we start!!

The Horse And The Infant

"little ajax stay back" 🥺

"You're not ready"

"I could raise him as my own" I WISH PLEASE

the whole section with overlapping dialogue of possibilities and the tragic ends they would lead to

i wanna know who that guy speaking was i don't remember

Just a Man

its so tragic how this infant reminds him of his own son like what the fuck thats so fucked up how could jorge do this to us. OW.

"close your eyes and spare yourself the view" Q^Q

this whole song gets me. especially paired with WolfyTheWitch's animatic to it. augh.

GOD knowing that all of these metaphors come back later and become Relevant i CANT OMG

"Forgive me" is probably the worst thing he could say because i do and i can't at the same time, but he's not asking me to forgive him, he's asking this INFANT who he KILLED AUGH

Full Speed Ahead

600 men. 601 with Odysseus

god this really is just setting the scene huh. and well!!

He really did wanna go home as fast as he could

OH MY GOD MY BOI I FORGOT ABOUT HIM AND HIS OPEN ARMS

his voice is like. angelic. wow.

"and if we don't return, then 600 men can make this place burn" i forgot about that woah

Open Arms

"My friend" my heart hurts

"This life is amazing when you greet it with open arms" oh sweet boy

the sound of a sword being drawn is so good omg

"600 friends are waiting for us to show our faces" XD bruh not subtle

EVEN LESS SUBTLE

Polites i love you

"My friend" you are friends yes please remember that please

Oh i forgot the lotus eaters sent them to "this food filled cave"

"I see in your face there is so much guilt in your heart" AUGH MY BOY

the repeating by odysseus...

"You can relax my friend" at the end like AUGH thats so GOOD and then the immediate next song being Warrior of the Mind !!! very good very tragic

Warrior of the Mind

immediately the music change raises the tension

the way Odysseus immediately knows who she is, hears or something, i love it so much.

"Have you forgotten your purpose? Let me remind you." AUGH hes not a man, but a tool

He seems like more of a conquest or trophy than a person to her, which is fair given he's a mortal and she's a goddess but damn this really does just keep happening to him, being a gods plaything huh?

THIS CHORUS GOES SO SO HARD THOUGH

"Maybe one day he'll follow me and we'll make a greater tomorrow" the way she sings this makes my brain so happy

the whole chorus just scratches my brain in such a good way omg

the slowness. "show yourself"

HIS LITTLE LAUGH

the whole exchange honestly

"nah, don't be modest, i know you're a goddess, so lets be honest-" YES YES YES

"YOU ARE ATHENA" WOOOOOOOOOOOO CLAPPING CHEERING

his description of her is great

"goddess and man, bestest of friends!" "We'll see where it ends" "okay" asdghkjsa im wheezing

THEIR DUET

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

"ending on "don't disappoint me" is so mean

[acepalindrome]

I was suddenly remembering a lot of my favorite moments and stories about the CR cast because they’re such a bunch of delightful human beings, so I made a list. Feel free to add on!

- the time Matt and Marisha almost burned their house down on stream.

- when Marisha had to go to the ER after hurting her rib on stream and Matt got trapped in the hospital bathroom and live-tweeted his escape attempts

- Liam reciting one of Juliet’s monologues from Romeo and Juliet on Gather Your Party

- Taliesin coming out as bi on Wednesday Club

- that episode of the AWNP podcast when Sam got drunk and cried about friendship (and Liam laughed at him, the massive hypocrite.)

- Marisha taking a picture of Matt crying while watching Sam’s episode of Between the Sheets because Sam talked about how much he loved playing with everyone.

- literally everything with Laura and Travis being the most adorable parents with Ronin (but probably my favorite was Laura singing Take Me or Leave Me from Rent while feeding Ronin. Honorable mention to Ronin in half a dinosaur costume running at Travis with a toy lightsaber while they both yell ‘use the force!!’)

- Marisha’s Between the Sheets. The whole thing. She’s so brave and amazing.

- Taliesin having to take his pants off in the recording booth during a VO session because he accidentally wore pajama pants that had bells on them and kept making noise

- Taliesin fainting on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride as a child because he was too scared of that ‘giant animatronic pirate lording over him’

- the entirety of Tal and Erika Ishii’s friendship. Every episode of Gather Your Party. I miss them being cute together every week.

- Taliesin has apparently promised various friends parts of his body in his will (someone’s getting the skull but he won’t tell who.)

- Taliesin officiating Matt and Marisha’s wedding

- Henry, Dagon, Omar, Sprig, all the pets

- The time they played a video on Talks of Laura audibly slapping Liam for saying that she ‘doesn’t know shit about Game of Thrones’

- All the Ren Faire stories

- That picture of Matt at a con holding someone’s pet bird with the most tender look on his face

- everyone losing their goddamn minds over the Kickstarter

Edit: can’t believe I forgot baby Matt’s adorable ancient livejournal post from when he got his very first big VO gig and being so very excited (he gets to do voices!!! On a PS2 game!!!)