#goddamn i had a lot more to say about this than i realised huh

[shadow-pixelle]

special challenge- each of these needs to be answered with a different fic

🌀

🌤

🌩

🌪

☔

Ooooohkay! Big ask. Let's see if I can do your little extra challenge too while I'm at it, I've probably got enough stuff.

Under a read more, because oh dear god this got long so quickly.

So for the portal; I'll go with 'something I haven't written yet', rather than haven't posted, because when it comes down to it I have no idea if I'll write something, but anything I've not posted I'll post eventually, so yeah.

The fic is called Run (Yourself) To Death, it's a Danny PhantomxDC crossover, it was one of the first things I came up with for this fandom, and is a solid 90% the fault of Clockwayswrite's A Broken Sort of Normal because that's what introduced me to the 'quick death' ship and I found it very very cute. Idea was that Wally West doesn't end up dead after the big twister thing from Young Justice (I don't remember enough about that show to give more details) and instead sort of... falls sideways, I guess? Into a natural portal to the Infinite Realms riiiiiight as he also fades into the Speedforce and kinda ends up in this very fucked up state of not-quite-Halfa but not dead but not alive either, no connection to the Speedforce, and a developing Ghost Core. The entire story would be focused on Danny finding him and trying to help him get back to his reality, which is really really hard, and takes several years, ending with them in a relationship and also Wally as a super liminal/basically a Halfa by the time they figure it out.

I'm not entirely sure if I'm calling it Run Yourself To Death, or just Run To Death, which is why the 'yourself' is in brackets.

Sunny cloud!; favourite piece of dialogue... ok, I've got a few WIPs ongoing at the moment. Normally I'd go with the one closest to being posted, buuuuuut that fic has no dialogue. So I'll go for the next one on that list, which is Strange Aeons, the Tumblr fic.

(I spent a solid like, half an hour looking through my various WIPs trying to choose a line, because I couldn't for the life of me decide on one that I liked enough.)

“Wait, so if you’re not- related, or whatever, to the Lazarus Pit, then what are you?”

I mostly like this one because of the cliffhanger-ness of it. It's not the last line of that segment, but it's pretty close to it.

For the thundercloud; something funny/cracky from your WIP. This is hilarious, because my WIP 1 isn't really funny- or well, it is, but more in the context of irony, and WIP 2 is. Uh. Not there yet. WIP 3 and WIP 4 both have some alright ones, so I'll take this one from Parhelion, because why not.

That scent was incredibly familiar. "Did you traffic me to yourself?" He asked, incredulity too strong for nervousness. "You haven't been trafficked." Wayne replied automatically, before stilling. "Excuse me?"

Tornado! Or as it appeared on my screen, cloud with a ghost tail. Sum up a WIP with a few fic tropes/AO3 tags. Uuuh ok. Let's use Ornithology for this one, because it's currently my main WIP. I'd sum this one up with Found Family, Cryptid Batfam, Gotham City Is Weird, Gotham City Rolls With Everything, and Wingfic as my main ones. I love this fic so much. It's nearly complete, too, which is a yay.

And finally, umbrella rain. Is there a fic concept you have that you'd like to just explain and share because you're not sure you'll ever write it... hmm. Ok this is a fun one for me, because usually if I have a fic concept, I intend to write it, no matter what? But I've definitely got something somewhere that's so old that I probably won't end up writing it just because I've got so much else to write...

digs into the box of WIPs and ideas

Ok let's pull out two fun ones that I have in this old as fuck list- specifically ones that I actually remember what the fuck that note means (looking at you, 'guitar riff bad life decisions (also AA)' like what the fuck does that mean Past Pix. What the hell is that.)

So one of them is labelled as 'Tarre Kamino aka fuck the SW timeline'. I mostly remember this one because I started writing this, and it is in fact the reason I have a Word document with my own Star Wars timeline in it, because I got so sick of trying to figure it out via the wikis that I made some guesses and made my own. I didn't write more than maybe a scene of it because it was all driving me mad, and also I couldn't figure out where to go with things, but the idea was that the Force Ghost of Tarre Vizsla is on Kamino fucking around and finding out, and basically doing his best to keep the clones safe in the face of gestures at common fanon Kamino stuff and also like, the amount of rage he's got at Jango Fett and the other Mandos on planet. Cool idea, could not figure out where to go with it aside from probably having him interact with Shaak Ti at some point, but I had a solid 10 years to get through to get there and was lost.

The second one is 'Kamino is v angery (4546B)', man I love my naming system for things, and this one had No Plot Just Vibes. Fans of Subnautica may recognise that little number-letter combo at the end, the idea was literally that Kamino had once been the planet 4546B from Subnautica. The only real idea I had to go from there involved the Leviathans, specifically the Sea Emperor, but I had no idea what I wanted to do with it outside of that.

Maybe I'll come back to them sometime.

looks up wow this is a long post, huh. Damn. Hope you enjoyed hearing all these rambles, and ta very much for the ask! It was fun to go digging through things for quotes and stuff.

[badaseyebags]

private lessons ⋆｡°✩ chapter 4 ⟢

warnings: poor writing as i had a lot going on and low-key forgot i was even working on anything, new character makes an appearance, tiny bit of angst

word count: around 1,8k

authors note: y’all i’m not dead yet unfortunately, anyways here’s to all the baddies that are still reading 🫶🏻 you have a special spot in my heart (right next to bada’s eyebags) - 🍞

little shoutout to @luvleyk for motivating me to write again 🫶🏻

your feet swung around as you slowly sipped on your iced coffee, lips lightly wrapped around a glass straw. you thanked bada for the sweet treat, while bada thanked herself for deciding to take you here. what she deemed as a “nice gesture” was a way of preventing herself from straight up pouncing on you. you weren’t the only one who’s had sleepless nights after your “private lessons” with her. she’s reminded of it every time she walks past her dining table, sits down to eat or drinks her coffee. she keeps reminding herself to not let this go too far, not to fall in too deep, before it’s too late. she has a reputation to keep. she knows she can’t go all in, just yet. and being in a public setting saved her from doing so.

if she wasn’t your teacher could this be considered a date? you thought to yourself looking up at her, stealing glances at her and seeing her give you a soft smile in exchange. you look down immediately, shaking off the thought as it made you realise the situation. why do you always forget the actual reason she meets up with you? freaking tutoring. she’s your goddamn teacher, get a grip you crazy woman.

“oh my, is the coffee that good?” she chuckles, catching you off guard with her hand resting on her chin as she admires you, making you snap back to reality and realise you’ve been sucking on air for a while as you’ve already finished your coffee without noticing. you mentally face palm, closing your eyes in embarrassment, letting the straw go in a swift motion. “umm yeah! it was! i think they maybe might be putting… something illegal in it-“ you tried covering up your act of distraction once again.

“aww, even better than the one i made for you? that’s such a pity. i made it with love.” she fake pouts, pretending to act hurt by your words. “no! what? definitely not! doesn’t even stand a chance! yours was soooo much better, i just didn’t get the chance to fully drink it because i-“ here you go mumbling again, being too honest because you’re nervous. thankfully you stopped yourself before you could embarrass yourself even further, but fate of course made other plans for you.

“poor thing, couldn’t finish her coffee because her lips were too busy tasting mine. is that it?” she chuckles enjoying the way your eyes widen slightly, back to sipping on the straw with nonexistent coffee, the ice making your overheated brain freeze. oh how she loved teasing you, the way your body and face respond to her without you having to say a single word. she wouldn’t admit how weak she was for it, for you. “i’m just messing with you sweetie, we both know that was my fault.” she assures you, hand smoothing over yours gently. as she enjoyed your company, she almost didn’t notice the strange figure standing across the table, looking at the both of you from a sight distance. what the hell is he doing here? she shoots him a warning glare, not going unnoticed by your admiring eyes, filling them with worry.

“huh?” you turn your head in curiosity, trying to follow her gaze, but she grabbed a hold of your chin before you could do so. you could only look up at her, confusion painting your features. “shh.. don’t you worry about that, sweetie. it’s someone not important. you don’t have to wrap your mind around it.” your eyebrow furrowed in more confusion, causing her to coo at you. “i don’t want you to stress your poor little brain. it’s just someone from the past. but you’re my present, okay? that’s what matters.” she leans in closer, whispering to you reassuringly. oh.. is it her ex? you were so curious what she looks like, why they broke up, and why she doesn’t want you to see her in the first place. is it because you’re her student? is it because she’s just playing around with you? you’d surely hope not..

many questions flood your mind as you hear footsteps approaching you, seeing her face twist in pure irritation. “stay still for me, princess.” she mumbles under her breath as her thumbs make their way against your lip, the rest of her hand cupping your face as she presses her lips against them, the barrier between your lips both electrifying and slightly confusing. oh how you wish to feel her lips against yours, to have them stained bright red instead of her thumbs that shielded them..

she strokes your lip gently as you obey, closing your eyes monumentally. you hear a rough voice scoffing mumbling out a few curse words. huh..? a man? it’s a man? her ex is a man?!! your eyes open, searching for hers in approval as she nods at you, her lip stroking your bottom lip as she slowly pulls away. “good girl, did so well for me without asking..” she offers you a relieved smile as the figure walks from her sight, a soft sigh leaving her lips. “mrs. lee who was-“ you try asking her what this was all about, but she shushes you with a simple word. “nono, you don’t get to ask any questions right now. as i said.. don’t wrap your pretty head about it, hm? such a pretty girl shouldn’t worry about things like these.” you chew on your bottom lip, nodding at her despite feeling slightly hurt by her actions. why didn’t she just kiss you for real then.. is it because you’re in public? did she not want to? or did she just use you to make her ex jealous? so many questions flooded your mind but she was quick to calm you down, grabbing your hand and gently guiding you up, taking you back to her car. you sigh thinking you ruined the mood and she’s going to take you home. she opens the door for you, and sits down next to you, not putting on a seatbelt on either of you, puzzling your mind.

“now tell me what’s on your mind honey, what’s making you sad?” she turns her body to you, giving you all her attention. oh, she took you here for your comfort and privacy, what a woman. you chew on your bottom lip, looking at her red painted lips and back at her eyes. “why.. did you pretend to kiss me?” you stutter out, trying not to sound weak. your question caught her off guard, her eyebrows raising in panic. “i’m sorry sweetie, i didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, i should have warned you.”

you shake your head fast, tears threatening to fall any second. “that’s not that i mean..” you look down, trying to keep yours emotions in check. why were you getting so hurt over such a thing? it’s not like you’re a couple or anything. “what did you mean, sweetie? come on, use your words.” she lifts your head with her finger on your chin, eyes meeting yours. how can she fluster you in such a situation?

“why didn’t you kiss me for real? were you ashamed.. or something?” you manage to get out as tears cloud your vision, feeling pathetic for having such feelings. she gasps not expecting your reason to be this, she was afraid you didn’t like the fact she tried to kiss you, yet the truth was far from that. “oh you silly little thing.. you thought i didn’t want to kiss you? the only reason i took you there was to restrain myself from kissing you again” she frowns seeing yours tears. “baby.. i would never want to make you cry..” she speaks out gently, her thumb stroking your cheek, rubbing at the tears staining them. “at least not in this way…” you look up at her with teary eyes, lost and about to question her words, but she crashes her lips against yours, making you gasp. more tears slide down your cheeks as you finally feel her lips on yours after what felt like ages of agony and torture of not tasting them. the faint aftertaste of bitterness from the coffee coating your palate becoming sweetly addicting to you. she strokes your cheek, hand gripping your jaw as she deepens the kiss, leaving you gasping for air as she swallows it all up. the windows of her car becoming foggy with every passing second of her lips devouring you. she pulls away, her eyes slightly watery at the sight of your tears drying up on your cheeks as she pulls you into her lap, her uneven breathing matching yours like a melody.

“never… say that again…“ she breathes out, the grip on your jaw becoming stronger as she pulls your head in closer against her lips again, coating them in tender kisses. “how could i not want to kiss you? do you even know how hard is it for me not to push you up against my table and kiss you ever time you walk into the classroom? claim you as mine? let everyone know you only belong to me?” you gasp looking up at her, her red lipstick smeared across both of your lips as you shake your head at her question.

“exactly sweetheart, you have no idea about so many things.. and they aren’t for little girls like you to worry about. be a good girl and leave them to mommy.” she breathes against your lips, hand gripping your waist making you feel like putty in her hands, being able to only nod at her command. you swear you feel yourself getting dizzy, the earlier feelings of sadness long gone and replaced by extreme waves of warmth spreading through out your whole body. she gives you one last passionate kiss, this one more gentle than the previous ones as she pulls away, resting her head on top of your head, twirling at your hair as you try to calm your breathing.

“you fit so nicely in my lap, you know that?” you blush at her remark, hands wrapped around her neck as you look up at her with glossy eyes, fingers reaching out to rub at the corners of her smudged lips, wiping away at the messed up lipstick the same way she did when you first kissed. “then don’t let me leave it..” you whisper, feeling one of her hands grip your waist harder as she looks at you in awe. as if she was in a trance. whatever spell you put on her was working, you’ve officially broken her and made her melt. all hopes and plans she had beforehand were no longer a choice, thrown out the window along with any rational thinking as she crashed her lips against yours once more, hand cradling your head, unable to hold back her desire anymore.

[godhandler]

“It’s just… it’s been 16 years since…” Yuuji finds it difficult to put it into words.. “... since he last saw Divine Dog White…” 

[when your kids inherit the Ten Shadows, Megumi Fushiguro gets to meet a long lost fluffy friend again]

[1.5k words   |   fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, post-canon   |   part of Obeisance to The Arrow universe]

“Hito, Kiko, don’t.” Noritoshi glares at the twins who have been caught red handed trying to ride atop the pair of dogs. In fact, it’s the 4th time they’ve been caught. They refuse to stop trying. “Just sit, okay? Just sit down for a bit. Let dad make his call.”

Noritoshi Kamo is tired. Truly, soulfully, tired. His day began at 5 am today, because you had to go to work earlier than usual, and are still not back yet. Handling 4 kids and their own separate timetables all day, while working as a teacher for Jujutsu High… at 34, he’s not old, but goddamn does his body ache like it is. And now, when he was looking forward to putting the kids to bed and waiting for you to come back and uncork this good vintage and maybe wear that nice lingerie you bought last week and be asleep by 10 pm, when tonight was supposed to go like all other nights, he’s got a huge fucking emergency on his hands. Not that he can show it, of course, in front of the kids. 

“C’mon, pick up, pick up. Asahito! I swear, if I see you– Tsukiko! Tsukiko, hands where I can see them! Good, okay, now sit down and count till 100.” Noritoshi is doing his level best to maintain any semblance of calmness. It isn’t working. Naomi and Chihiro, the older two kids, are terrified. Their usually monk-calm dad is frantically calling people, while his Flowing Red Scale is on, as are two discs of Slicing Exorcisms, ready to strike at the slightest provocation. Not at them, of course, but still. The twins, Hito and Kiko, are too young to realise the gravity of the situation. 

Click. Finally.

“Hey Noritoshi, it’s me, Yuuji. Megumi’s driving right now.”

“Yuuji!” Damn, Yuuji thinks, the man seems out of breath. “Give the phone to Megumi, quick.”

‘But he’s driving, we were playing basketball and now we’re coming ba–”

“Put it on speaker then! Yuuji, it’s urgent.”

“Huh? Wait.” Yuuji puts him on speakerphone and gasps. “Oh my God, is y/n pregnant again?”

“What?” 

“Damn, that’s your fifth one.” Yuuji chuckles. “You must really like being a dad.” 

“It’s not–”

“Five is a lot though –”

“MEGUMI!” Noritoshi shouts out. “Are you there?”

“Yeah” Megumi leans towards the phone that Yuuji is holding out. “Congrats, Noritoshi.”

“Oh, Megumi, thank God.” Noritoshi’s voice is palpably more stable. “y/n isn’t pregnant. The twins’ cursed technique showed up, about 5 minutes ago. Megumi, they have the Ten Shadows.”

Megumi almost crashes the car.

—------- 

“Noritoshi, love, I’m here!” You’ve run all the way from the parked car to your drawing room. It’s bursting with people: Noritoshi (battle-ready), Naomi and Chihiro (hiding behind their dad), Yuuji (fascinated), Megumi (teaching the twins to release the large black dog that’s running amok amid your fragile china-display and Edo era vases), and your little twins (actually listening to their uncle, surprisingly). 

“Mom!” “y/n!” “Honey!” 

Half an hour ago, you had been working on a new telecom venture when your assistant rushed in, claiming an urgent call from your husband: “Love, it’s the twins, Hito and Kiko- cursed technique- unstable control- dinner- Ten Shadows!” It takes a while for you to piece together the information, but when you do, you turn pale as death. 

The twins inherited the Ten Shadows? Together? They share one cursed technique? They share the fucking Ten Shadows?

—------- 

The black divine dog was sent back, thanks to Uncle Megumi Fushiguro. “The other one was already gone when we got here.” Megumi says, leaning back as everyone sits in peace around the low tea-table on the ground. Yuuji is playing cards with the boys, Tsukiko sits in Megumi’s lap, steadily stealing extra cookies from the table, and Naomi is quietly talking to her dad. “They summoned the Divine Dogs by accident, don’t punish them for it, okay?”

“I know.” Noritoshi sighs. “I didn’t even know two Ten Shadows users could exist at the same time.”

“It’s very rare.” Megumi replies. “But rare things are common nowadays.” Since the Culling Games. Since it all got messed up. 16 years ago. 

“It’s so dangerous for a 6 year old to have the power to accidentally summon Mahoraga. Megumi-chan, what did you do at that age?” You still haven’t kicked the habit of calling him Megumi-chan, even though he grumbles about it a lot, especially since the twins are starting to call him that too.

“Well, I had Gojo-sensei to show me the basics, and then I figured it out myself. But I was a very different 6 year old than Hito and Kiko.” He looks down at Tsukiko who’s trying to hide her growing bundle of cookie-loot. “Maybe it’d be safer if I stay with the kids for a bit…”

The kids are delighted to hear this, of course, Uncle Megumi who lets them get away with anything, and buys them whatever they want, he’s their favourite. (Uncle Yuuji is very hurt by this proclamation).

“Yeah, that’d be great, Megumi-chan. Thanks.” You yawn. 

“Say, Hito, Kiko!” Yuuji says. “You called both the dogs? Can you call them again?”

“Now, Itadori?” Noritoshi is still wary. When he first saw the dogs, he almost killed them on the spot, thinking that someone had sent them there to hurt his kids. It had taken a second for light to enter his head: Ah, these are my children’s shikigami. They inherited the Ten Shadows…. Oh my God- my kids inherited the Ten Shadows. “Take the yard outside then, not in here.”

Except for Megumi and the twins, who are working on calling the dogs in the middle of the yard, all of you stand in the veranda. Noritoshi’s Flowing Red Scale is on, ready, just in case.

“It’s just… it’s been 16 years since…” Yuuji finds it difficult to put it into words.. “... since he last saw Divine Dog White… back at the detention center....” 

The shadows under the twins have definitely started to hollow out choppily. Megumi shouts out words of encouragement, telling them to “steady, keep steady!”, while you can tell that Noritoshi is growing more agitated by the second. The volatile control over their shared cursed technique seems to shift between the twins randomly. The shadows underneath, like turbulent sea-water, split.

Megumi Fushiguro is no stranger to loss. It’s a fact of his life. He hardened his heart to this a long time ago, he's bid his good-byes properly in private. He’s done his due mourning when Divine Dog White died over a decade and a half ago. 

Why does his throat feel tighter? Hito and Kiko are making the huge dogs shake hands with a delighted Yuuji. Why does he remember the damp walls of that old apartment, where his dad left him and Tsumiki? Why does he remember Tsumiki’s laugh when the white dog, invisible to her, tripped her as she walked? Those snowy walks with Gojo-sensei, when he brought all three of them mochi, and an extra one for the dog? Those tired midnights in Jujutsu High when the dog curled around him in his sleep? Nobara and Yuuji, back in their teenage years, begging him to summon his precious dog? Nobara who still remains 16 in his memories. Gojo-sensei. Tsumiki. The White Dog. 

If anyone notices a tear stuck in Megumi’s lashes, they don’t mention it. They let him sit on the grass, keeping watch. The overprotective parents have loosened up, allowing Naomi and Chihiro to pet the dogs too. It’s nice, he thinks, everyone getting to enjoy a night like this. It doesn’t come by often. These small moments like playing with the dogs, eating meals together, hanging clothes to dry, taking walks in the setting sun, these are privileges they've earned with blood. Families, especially happy ones, are rare; Megumi’s proud that you and Noritoshi have managed to create one. As for him, he’s content sitting on grass and watching. 

“Megumi-chan, come play!” Tsukiko beckons him. “Shiro, go jump on him.”

“Shiro, no–” But these aren't Megumi’s shikigami, they don’t listen to a word he says. He’s immediately tackled on the soft ground by the weight of the white furball, who’s wagging his tail and licking him all over, as excited as the kids to be summoned. They even smell the same, Megumi remembers. Still, mine had softer fur. 

Naomi valiantly comes to his rescue. Noritoshi offers him some tea before bed. Him and Yuuji are staying the night, you’ve declared, and keeping watch over the twins. Despite all the loss he’s endured his whole nightmare of a life, at the end of the day, there’s still a family he’s part of. There’s still hope, there’s still love, there’s still soft white dogs. 

—------- 

The battle is over: all 4 kids have been put to bed. Yuuji whistles softly, complaining that Hito wheedled five stories and three lullabies out of him. That reminds him: “y/n, you know when Noritoshi called us, he seemed so stressed, I thought that you were pre-” but Noritoshi whacks him on the head before he gets to finish. Megumi isn’t done entertaining the twins yet. 

a/n: timeline wise, this work is set faaar in the future, when the Kamos have returned to and established themselves in Japan. Regardless of the merger, the amount of cursed energy cultivated from the Culling Games have GOT to have fucked up effects on the kids born afterwards, like the remains of nuclear bombs. Naomi is the oldest kid at 13, Chihiro is 10 and the twins are both 6. reader would be 30, noritoshi 34, yuuji 32, and megumi 31. if it was unclear, Asahito and Tsukiko are nicknamed Hito & Kiko

[velvetvexations]

--- somehow i don't think the trans radfem movement thinks aphobia is a fine word to exist

It's almost quaint. Almost.

Why is there a wave of trans radfems defending 4chan boards

I'm going to need to be pointed to this if only because I'm going to get dinged for spreading malicious lies about trans women being "Nazis" otherwise, but lmfao if true.

wtf kind of hill is txttletale dying on now?

I mean she's still a tankie fuck but apparently now she's also getting in on the transmisogynistic harassment campaign game.

isn't "doll" specifically a fetish term? that is really not something people should be applying to other people without making sure it's ok first.

No, it's a Black ballroom term that trans women started running with.

People on this site are taking pissing on the poor to a whole new goddamn level “telling people that this person is/has sexually harassed someone who was a minor is calling everyone with their identity a pedophile”, I’d blame the school system but that really was a choice not to actually read and relay

it's definitely malicious

joan jett in the mv for i hate myself for loving you is like, unbearably beautiful

so true

it’s so obvious that these people choose to isolate themselves in a dimension crafted out of their own self-hatred that they care more about hurting their oppressors (and people who don’t even oppress them) than uplifting people hurt by systems of oppression. sometimes i think i’m bad but then i come across people like that and realise i’m relatively well-adjusted

inspiring innit

post addressed to trans women from a trans woman about trans women –> trfs in the notes: “why are you telling me to be nice to trans men?”

they have their priorities

absolutely wild to say that transunitists are 2010-reddit-style mras and then say things like "afab privilege." yeah those afabs with their wielding of power. and i bet they get free drinks at every bar and their bosses promote them for being pretty, huh.

they get upset at having their logic compared to MRAs because it's implicit misgendering (never mind that they directly call random trans men MRAs and radfems as well) but I'm not sure what they expect when they talk at length about how all of those fucking evil AFAB bitches are just waiting for their chance to screw you over with a false rape accusation

"pick me" is AAVE, and, like all white girls, they're overusing and misusing it until it has no meaning left 🙄

I actually wasn't aware of that. Neat. Disputed? See replies.

a lot of this going on is just reminding me once again of the intense monogenderism that really never gets worked on. It’s super awkward as a multigendered individual and an intersex one

it also just really feels so fucking tone ignorant the way people talk.

society still calls traits of men or masc, some even actively choose to agree while still being a counter to it gender but obviously real trans women don’t so attacking those things would never hurt them, and multigender trans woman who are also men? Obviously fake.

the English language is so fucking insufficient

I honestly wish every asshole who seems to think the ability to mask as complete cis and definitely just your assigned gender is a privilege had to live in my head for the holiday season. I am entirely in the closet with my family because of bigotry I have no other choice than living with my family for multiple reasons I just spent the entire winter holiday pretending to be a woman answering to my deadname being called aunty and sister and daughter and not being able to say jack shit about it without even being able to retreat to the solace of my friends afterwards because they are all busy with their own families. I want those assholes to experience the emotions and thoughts I just went through and come out the otherside and see if they still think that this is a fucking privilege.

Love you anon. <3

that anon telling on themselves so hard saying transmisogynys "far deeper" than transphobia. literally why on earth would you phrase it like that if the point was anything besides "my *special* oppression is way more poignant and meaningful than your boring regular oppression"

lmao right though it's so obviously just trying to mark their thing as having more dramatic flair

do you keep a backup of your blog with a program like tumblthree? there's a lot of valuable posts on it, and tumblr is almost distressingly transitory.

I don't, but noted.

[whysamwhy123]

Huh. The first OrangeHook fic I wrote now has the most hits out of anything I've written in the last two years. Weird.

I guess you never really know which fics are gonna take off. But still, this is hard for me to wrap my head around. I figured nothing would ever overtake the previous top dog, since that was for a very popular pairing (at the time) and also I wrote it as part of a fandom event, so naturally it was gonna have a few more eyeballs on it than usual. For a rarepair fic, of a pairing that's almost completely dead (the 'almost' being there due to the tireless work of my good buddy Dah, single-handedly keeping the OrangeHook train a-rollin' in 2024 *blows a kiss*) to overtake that, and still be getting traction here and there after over a year, is kinda nuts.

I have a weird relationship with that fic, in general. When I posted it, I really wasn't happy with it. It has Problems, LOL. The more time that passes though, I've kinda warmed to it more and more. It still has those Problems, for sure, but it came together pretty good in the end, I think? Probably some of my best dialogue, at least. That fic was only supposed to be two scenes - the opening scene with Best Friends, and the Awkward Hotel Room Seduction Scene - but it kinda ballooned as I was writing it, and I kept adding more and more. I don't think I realised at the time that OrangeHook was gonna become My Pairing for a good while. But it certainly did.

I'm in a...weird place, at the moment, regarding writing. Well. I don't know if I'm even qualified to say that, because the short version is - I ain't writing no' mo'. Haven't finished a fic, or even written more than a couple words, in over two months. Considering I was averaging one fic a month since January 2023, that's a downgrade for sure. This definitely isn't one of my usual writing slumps. I have Ideas (Such Ideas!) but zero motivation to write any of them. This isn't fandom's fault, to be clear. I do feel very out-of-touch and like the fandom's passed me by, but that's just because I don't watch AEW anymore because *almost falls back into old habits and launches into one of my annoying hater rants that I used to do all the goddamn time before I realised how lame that was and made myself act my age for once* reasons, and so I'm not particularly interested/invested in any of the popular pairings these days. The only pairings I do care about are ones like OrangeHook - microscopically small rarepairs where it's literally just me and one other person, and that's it. As much as I adore those folks (Gato <3 Dah <3), it's hard to find motivation when you know there's no audience waiting for you. Makes you feel like there's no point, y'know? Doesn't help that all of my ideas these days are goofy, self-indulgent AUs or bizarre crackfics. Even if I could put pen to paper, so to speak, I wouldn't exactly be giving the people what they want, LOL.

After I failed to get my Halloween fic done (it was, predictably, a goofy, self-indulgent OrangeHook AU about Jim falling under the sway of Hook, who's an incubus. Y'all are welcome that I didn't put that out into the world, LOL), I kinda figured that I might be done with writing again. Before January of last year, I hadn't written a word in years. I gave up on writing after some Bad Stuff happened. It felt like a gift to be able to do it again, after so much time. Kinda sucks to think I might be back to just Not Being Able To Do It At All again. Kinda really sucks.

There is this one idea. I've had it rattling around in my brain for a long time. It actually started as a Hookhausen fic (remember them? Where does the time go?), but I ended up adapting it to be OrangeHook over time. I have a lot of scattered ideas for scenes, bits of dialogue, and a pretty strong sense of what The Point would be. I did toy with the idea of starting it a while back (or at least trying to) and making it my swansong for the fandom/my writing in general. One last self-indulgent rarepair fic that no one cares about, and then I could peace out. To draw a line under things, y'know? Tie a little bow on this whole writing experiment of mine and then move on to...I don't know. Something else. Nothing? *shrugs* But that fic would be a big undertaking, at least for me. Would probably take a long time. A lot of work. And I ain't exactly drowning in free time. Plus, the aforementioned not-having-written-a-word-in-ages thing. I don't know.

We'll see, I guess.

If you read all of this, first of all - I am so very sorry, LOL. Second, thank you. If you're someone who's read anything I've put out there in the last two years, thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. There's been...a lot of ups and downs, but overall, I'm really glad that I was able to get back into this, even if it didn't last too long. I'm pretty proud of a lot of the fics I managed to write, and while I know I was never the most popular girl in school, I hope that some of my silly stories entertained you. Made you laugh, or distracted you from the awfulness of reality for a spell. God knows, that's what all of your fics, and this fandom in general, did for me. Y'all are so nice. Creative, supportive, funny. It's kinda comforting, knowing that the fandom is still going strong. You kids have fun! Maybe this is goodbye, or maybe I'll channel that wrestler mentality and have 'One more match!' and then I'll retire. Who knows? But regardless, I'm glad I got to do this. No regrets. Well, maybe some, LOL. But for the most part...yeah. Shit was fun, yo. I did the damn thing.

OK, I'll shut up now, I promise *awkwardly finger guns my way out of the room*

[chipped-chimera]

So, I'm a Lesbian I guess.

So uh, life update. I came out to my Mum, so I figured I'd do so here too.

I've done a bunch of self reflection, healing. I reached out to my ex and we had a good conversation and I think that just made everything even clearer for me.

So yeah, this is me saying I'm not bisexual. I'm lesbian. And I probably always was.

More context below the cut if you want it (it's long). But anyway, here's to finally feeling like I'm finding the real 'me' in all this rubble.

❤️🧡🤍💖💜

I thought I was bisexual for ages. The fact I even got to think that wouldn't have happened if it weren't for my ex, who identified that way and I felt in a safe enough environment to express it. In the past two months I went through some self reflection, and talked to my ex for the first time in 2 years. It was good, and it's too complicated to explain easily but at least on my end I was getting a double dosage of the comphet juice between just regular expectations and the undiagnosed autism (also jesus christ, being a teenager in 2005-2010 that environment was just fucked up for anyone who might be trying to come to terms with not being straight). Kids in my school were more accepting, but also in the same breath using 'Gay' as an insult).

We were both undiagnosed neurodiverse people and maybe it was just the first time we'd encountered someone who just actually understood for once. Who saw who we were and were okay with that. The 10 year relationship, put in that context makes a lot of sense. So I don't blame him for how it ended. If anything I thanked him for breaking it off, because I was in such a goddamn state after being used by the Australian government (see Robodebt) there was no way in hell I had the mental tools or even brain space to realise anything about myself because I was too busy just trying to fucking survive. I would have lived and died in that relationship simply because at least it was safe, and stable. But it wasn't genuine.

Past two years since that relationship ended were fucking rough. For most of this year I kind of just turned into myself I guess, but I was letting it happen because after finding out about the high comorbidity of chronic health conditions with Autism and how it's likely related to long-term compound stress from masking for so long, I really asked myself when was the last time I just let myself 'rest'? Didn't do anything I didn't want to do or feel compelled to do because of some social contract or guilt?

I couldn't come up with an answer.

So I rested. And I think that's basically given me the strength now to finally 'wake up'. I dunno. That's how it feels. I only recently noticed my thoughts about women were structurally very different than the ones about men (and yeah it's goddamn fuckin' embarassing to say but uh thanks Larian specifically for giving me a female love interest tailored to my exact preference which FINALLY connected some dusty neuron in the back of my head or something. It was Karlach. MY GODDAMN GAY AWAKENING WAS KARLACH, ffs) and the more I examined it, the more everything became clear. I was hesitant to remove the bi label from myself, wondering if this was just a really extreme 'bi-cycle' swing but the more and more I thought about it, went through memories in my life, how I could never see myself with someone else it was always characters together and really it was the relationship and intimacy between them, regardless of gender that I was appreciating.

I thought I was grey ace but after going 'huh these thoughts are kind of different' and realising that yeah, I could imagine myself with a woman - it wasn't some weird other shit I'd told myself like it was just visceral self hatred or something, placing myself with a guy it was literally I did not want to be with a guy - it became obvious. So fucking, embarrassingly obvious.

I'm not sure where things will go from here. I am incredibly socially isolated in real life. My best friend is my Mum. I don't have a social circle at all outside of online spaces. I'm 30 and that's a fucking weird age to be thrown out into the world essentially experiencing goddamn delayed idk mental puberty because you suppressed it that hard. I haven't used a dating app in my LIFE. I'm still kind of scared of being hurt by others and I'm aware it's not entirely logical, but I just feel fragile. I'm also still picking up the pieces of my life.

I've confirmed a C-PTSD diagnosis with my psychologist, which explains why all the CBT tools I'd learned over the years just stopped working (CBT doesn't always gel well with PTSD or Autism) so that's probably going to inform treatment going forward. My intense fatigue issues are probably caused by having to carry all this fucking trauma and suppression of myself. As I said to my Mum, it's like I'm just 'Tired from being alive' at this point. I'm really, really fucking hoping it's not Chronic Fatigue Syndrome/ME. The new medication I'm on seems to be keeping me going past the 4hr mark though, so we might be onto the right medication mix (I do not appreciate the 7:30pm crash, like clockwork, where instead of feeling unfocused and tired like before I now feel jacked up as hell like I'm waiting for someone to punch me however :V)

I don't know where this is going. Or where I'm going. All I know is 'I'm going'. When the breakup first happened, when I hauled myself out of the Mental Health ward and back to my parents home where I had to figure out what the fuck to do after any kind of certainty of my future had been completely obliterated - I saw a lot of snakes. I'm kind of vaugely pagan, if I'm honest. I don't know how to put it. I am very scientific but I also don't think we know all the answers.

My ancestors were likely heavily Celtic, likely some Viking and Pictish influence as both family lines go back to Scotland and Ireland. I know through my reading that natural signs were important to them, so I start noticing when I see multiple occurrences, especially in odd places (I'll be real, I just remembered earlier in this relationship when I was more into pagan shit I saw a lot of Moths. Yeah. Yeah I feel like smashing my face into my desk about that. No I never figured it out then EITHER). I know quite a few things about snakes. Snakes are an animal that is both used as a symbol for medicine, but also classed as 'evil', especially in the modern christian context.

They are considered symbols of rejuvenation, of immortality, much like the Phoenix, they are constantly reborn through the shedding of their skin. Shedding is critical to a snake, because if it does not shed it's skin, it will die. This is a legitimate concern for zookeepers with snakes that have scars - they often struggle to shed completely, and they have to soak the snake's skin in water so they can cast off the skin.

So it's shed or die.

I have struggled to let go of things. Of everything that was done to me, but I knew it had to be let go. And today I have shed a lot of that shit. I am crying on and off but this is probably the first time it's easy. It's not physically painful, like knives in my throat, or something I have to shove down and keep contained for fear of being rejected. It's happy crying.

Because that skin being shed - it wasn't mine either. I needed rest, I needed to soak in that goddamn water dish so I could get through all the scar tissue. So it's probably the strongest image I have in my mind of everything. Of who I am. My entire life.

If you're going through difficult shit in life, all I can say is - you're strong. You're strong as fuck. Strength isn't being able to get into a physical fight, or being super confident around people - it's enduring life and the chaos thrown at you. It's being able to be broken down and rebuild, just like the snake casts off skin for their new selves. You will endure things and be stronger for it, than those who have lived all their lives without any pain whatsoever.

But it could be better, I know. It doesn't justify the pain. But please listen to yourself. Listen to your body. If you need to be selfish? Be fucking selfish! Don't want to do that thing? Don't do it! If you know it is costing you, if it is adding to that scar tissue - stop. Take the time you need to reset, to regain your breath. Ask yourself who you are doing this for. Ask what skin you are wearing and whether that is something you want to keep. Shed it. Let go.

It will hurt, but this is just the beginning. Change feels like a broken bone. But it will heal.

[fcdcdmcmories]

"BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO? YOU'RE ACTING LIKE WE'RE CLOSE FAMILY OR ANYTHING OF THE SORT." rolling his eyes at that and.. yet, all that this was doing was giving him a headache during a time where he was very much meant to be resting. that never happened. he didn't get a lot of breaks and try as he might to make the most out of them? he never REALLY COULD. could he? "talk. now. what happened? is she okay?" hands clenched into fists, because.. was anyone really expecting him not to jump into violence when all that he had been doing for the past couple of weeks was punching people for a living? at first, he believed that the other was joking. he had to be. that had to be a very bad joke, to come here and do that after all the shit that he had been through, but.. "you're out of your goddamn fucking mind. have you lost it? huh?" he grabbed the other by the collar of his clearly very expensive suit, before giving him a shake. was that just so he didn't punch him? with all of the strength that he had been building up? CORY COULD HAVE GOTTEN VERY HURT. he was seeing fucking red with all of this. "no! absolutely not! this is not happening and i am telling her precisely this. no! i don't give a shit if fucking santa claus is in town! nothing is worth her going back to him. NOTHING. ESPECIALLY NOT ME. a ceasefire? not even a year ago, he was considering burying her alive in a fucking coffin that he purchased for her fake funeral! do you realise how messed up all of this is? no!" had everyone lost it? had they forgotten that finn pederson was THE enemy? "maybe that will happen. maybe your dad is as bad as you say he is. you know what is not going to happen? my wife going back to the place that she nearly died to get out of. to the man who abused her for years in a row when she was nothing more than a child. who tortured me for nearly five days in a row. he's the problem here! have you forgotten? he killed your family! NO! DO YOU HEAR ME? ABSOLUTELY NOT!" well, as if he didn't have anything to worry about before? no, there was this lovely. this was just FUCKING lovely. "no, not okay! and i hope she does come here, because i'm going to make sure she tells all of you to fuck off. you people are poison. YOU'VE DONE NOTHING BUT HURT HER. THAT'S OVER. IT'S NOT HAPPENING AGAIN." the other was lucky that he had yet to be punched. @xtinyslip

"so why haven't i seen it?" teasing, obviously. oh, they had never gotten off to the best of starts and cory didn't blame him for that. sure, he blamed him when he was an absolute idiot but ; no, cory didn't blame parker for not particularly liking him. sure, he was trying to be better but ugh, it was so time consuming and right now… he was a really, really busy guy. "… okay." they were doing this because if it was going to work and they were going to get dad out of town. they kind of, eh, definitely needed parker on board. "i don't have time to sugar coat this or wrap it in some sparkly bow and make it sound wonderful so… i really, really need you to uh, keep a lid on it and not freak the fuck out." because he imagined like cory ; his reaction wasn't going to be the best. it wasn't as if cory was thrilled with what was happening either. "cecilia's grandfather is in town. he's uh fucking awful, just like finn. i mean i had forgotten how alike they were with certain traits actually. we kind of need him gone. anywhere, i don't care just not here. finn's trying to make a deal with cecilia, yanno'… a seize fire until we get him gone. if, no, when she comes by i need you to tell her to take it. to take the deal. i know, i know. you're thinking cory you're fucking crazy. right? but no. my father might be all for cecilia right now. aw, heart warming stuff? yeah, no. it always comes back to my brother. they ALWAYS make up and who do you think is going to get shit on when that happens? me, cecilia, you ; anyone, really that is close to this ridiculous fucking situation. we can't have finn and my father becoming all pally again here. it just --" oh god, he might actually have a heart attack just thinking about it. it was no joke, it was bad. it would be very bad. "if we don't get him out of town and the inevitable happens and finn worms his way back into my father's good graces? WE ARE FUCKED." had he taken a breath? no. was it good to finally get that out there? uh yes. actually it was. finally glancing back up at parker to see his reaction. "cecilia is going to come here. no one can stop it. she'll be fucking relentless till she sees you and eh, you might want to take a shower before that happens and remember? she needs to take the deal. okay? good. great." @fcdcdmcmories

[padfootastic]

Okay so you already know I loved the thing you wrote but your tags?????? Yes please give us more granddad Sirius and James Sirius content??????????? I'm so ready for it.

i genuinely wrote out an entire answer for this in my mind and apparently never put it in actual words :) brb while i put on the dunce cap and hang my head in shame

anywaaaaaaay if ur still into granddad siri and james sirius (aka jem/jemmy/jim when he’s older) content may i interest u in some stupid lil ramblings:

- sirius’ title is papa. harry mixed up grandpa sirius and padfoot one time to say ‘grandpa padfoot’ and jemmy latched hard onto the ‘pa pa’ part of that. so papa he is, and all his grandkids call him that.

- harry and ginny were super young and super unprepared for our lil jimbo. so he spent a lot of time around sirius, lots of sleepovers and babysitting and hasty drop offs. this gave him an appreciation for hanging out with old people (not that sirius doesn’t dangle him upside down when he hears that term because ‘who’re you calling old, huh? you think i could swing u around like a fish if i was old?) because they have the best stories and the most patience and they put up with all his questions and antics and always spoil him.

- james sirius is sirius’ favorite grandchild. he tries to hide it, never treats anyone noticeably different, loves them all more than the universe itself but jemmy. that boy completely stole his heart the moment he opened his eyes and james—his jamie’s—eyes looked up at him. the others, when they realise what it means that their papa tears up sometimes when jem does something, learn to not say anything and hug him a bit tighter that day.

- of course, sirius knows this isn’t an exact copy of his dead best friend. jem is more somber, not as arrogant, doesn’t think he’s god’s gift to humanity. his temper is more cutting, aimed to hurt. sirius knows what that’s like and that’s another reason why those get along so well. james sirius gets angry at his family and goes straight to his papa for refuge. sirius is always there with warm hugs and kisses and cake and hot chocolate.

- ok another headcanon i have!! purebloods get music training and sirius learnt how to play the piano (and if harry had grown up with him, he would’ve learnt an instrument too and that’s always a sore point). he convinces harry to let jem get similar coaching so every weekend, granddad & grandson sit down together to learn how to play the piano. jemmy’s kind of terrible at it, but he wouldn’t trade this time for anything. as he grows up, this turns into gossip sessions where they bitch about everyone together. this is where jim asks for relationship advice and ‘how do you know they’re the one, papa?’ and sirius telling him about his jamie, and the kind of friendship that was so strong that death couldn’t sever it. sirius tells him that his name doesn’t have to define him, that it’s okay (and encouraged) to step beyond the boundaries of what you were assigned at birth. (because he knows a little something about family names and being the oldest and crippling pressure and struggling with your identity- who you should be vs who you are)

- harry tells his godfather that his oldest’s tendency for dramatisation comes from these sessions and ‘did you really need to describe my dad as ‘burning brighter than the sun’, siri? now i can’t take that little demon into muggle london because somehow his not-so-accidental magic has him lighting up like a goddamn christmas tree all the time’

- james sirius (now jim, because he’s grown and wants to be taken seriously and jemmy is a kids name except when his papa calls him that bc he has special privileges) is the one most conscious of the weight his name holds, the legacy he comes from. it makes him all that more driven to carve his own niche in the wixen world. but, at the same time, sirius can see the ghosts of his loved ones in this kid. the same mother hen protectiveness that jamie had, the mischievously sparkling hazel eyes, the bone deep devotion to his loved ones. it hurts but also, he wouldn’t trade it for anything.

*coughs* sorry miss imp this became much longer than i anticipated and i don’t think i realised how much i love papa sirius and little jemmy but uh. yeah. the floodgates hath opened and it took everything in me to close them right back up.

(the thing i wrote- crackish au where sirius delivers harry and james sirius, two decades apart)

[felix21im]

"Ice Cold", a Leon Kennedy x reader fanfiction

As an Art and Design student all you want to do is just knuckle down and finish that one goddamn piece you've been working on for months. Too bad your time is constantly stolen by your Waiter job with minimal pay, but hey, at least the tips are good if you unbutton your shirt that one more time.

Masterlist

Chapter 1: Bourbon

“That’s gotta be moved over like two inches to the left.” You muttered to yourself. Your eraser ran across the sketches and removed the pencil lines that you had created earlier. Studying interior design was one of the best ways to secure you that internship you’ve been working so hard for.

“Yoo hoo!” A whistle was heard from beside you, your fellow colleague and best friend tapped you on the shoulder, pulling you out of your study-induced trance. “You’ve got another table to serve. They literally just sat down so make sure that you greet them.” You let out a sigh, laying your latest drawing to the side. On the way to the table you check your hair in a mirror before putting on a smile. You can see two middle aged men talking while looking at multiple files placed on the table. You walk toward them. "Good evening, is there anything I can get for the two of you?"

The larger man with the shorter hair began to speak for the both of them. “Two bourbons please.” He said simply.

“Will they be with ice?” You ask, beginning to write down their drinks order on your small notepad.

“Yeah I’ll have ice in mine please.” The one with longer hair requested with a polite point and a smirk. The other man simply shook his head at the question of ice. You smiled at the two of them as you turned around. A few minutes later you return with both of their drinks and put them in front of them, being careful not to spill anything over their work-stuff. They both thank you with a small nod before you go around to your other tables. A few hours pass and people come and go but these two men still sit at their table, talking, drinking and taking some notes. You went over to their table a few times that evening to refill their drinks or bring some small things to nibble on, but you couldn't find out what they were talking about. It seems that as soon as you went over to them they changed the subject. “A super secret mission.” You chuckled to yourself as you stood at the bar, packing your study materials away. You can’t clean a bar with books and paper all over it.

While cleaning you heard someone clear their throat and you looked up. In front of you stood one of the men, the one with longer hair. “Oh my, excuse me. Can I help you with anything?” The man chuckled lightly and looked at the mess in front of you. “My friend over there and I wanted to get another drink before paying. But it seems you are quite busy here.” You looked at the mess and then at him and you couldn’t stop yourself from checking him out. It seems he noticed it, but didn't say anything. “I’m sorry for that, it won’t happen again. I’ll deliver your drinks to your table right away!” The man nodded and went back to his friend, sitting directly opposite them but also facing the direction of the bar. You let out a small sigh before putting the books away and preparing the drinks for the men. The man never said what drinks he wanted but considering the two of them have only been drinking bourbon, bourbon was a good choice. Before starting you tightened your apron, greatly exaggerating your waist, although you could barely breathe you knew that it made you more attractive to patreons. The patreons liking you equals more tips. While making the drinks you made sure to add enough ice in the second drink, so they just might forgive you for your behaviour. As you placed the two glasses on your serving tray you noticed the long haired man give you a small smirk. You went to their table once more and put the beverages in front of them while smiling at both of them. You also left a bill on the table before heading back to the bar, the echo of your shoes making you feel anxious as you walked, causing you to begin holding your tray in both of your hands in front of your stomach. On your way back you heard one of the men say something, which made the short haired one shake his head. You were wondering if they talked about something you did but didn’t want to be rude and ask them about it. It was pretty late already so only a few other people were still at the restaurant. You wanted to get home at some point that night so you hoped that the last guests would be leaving soon. Just as you thought that, you saw the two men you were serving get up and leave the restaurant. Before going through the exit door the man with longer hair looked back at you and gave you a wink. You let out a small laugh and shook your head. You went to the table they left from to clean up and collect the money. You noticed a small note with something written on it. A phone number, you realised. “Call me ;)” was written beside it. You looked around and put the piece of paper in your pocket with a light smile on your face. That smile quickly turned into a shocked face though as you noticed a massive tip laying next to the bill. You didn't even know what to do, so you just stood there looking at the money. As you looked at the flurry of green bills you could hear footsteps behind you and soon your coworker stood next to you, also looking at the money.

“Well, someone seems to like you”, they laughed “Maybe those apron and shirt tricks you do work too well.” You shook your head and left your coworker standing there as they chuckled at their joke.

A little while later the restaurant was empty thanks to the closing hours, and you cleaned the last tables. But before you had the chance to leave as well, you saw the door opening once again. “I’m sorry, we’re closed!” You looked up and saw the long haired man standing in the doorway. Other than just his hair you could instantly tell it was him, the fancy suit helped a lot. “Did you forget anything? I actually think you left too much money when you left with your friend.” You picked up the cash that was placed in an envelope under the bar and began to get the money out of it. “I can give it right back to you, if that's why you came back.”

The man shook his head and slightly chuckled. “No, the tip was meant to be like that. I was actually wondering..”, he stepped closer toward the bar you were standing at. “..Why didn't you text me yet.”

You had to laugh. “Oh, I’m sorry. Maybe I didn’t have the time yet because I had some work to do and you left that note like ten minutes ago!” You chuckled yet again. “Trust me I was going to call you!”

Now it was his time to let out a dry laugh. “Yeah, I'm sure you would have. Anyways, now that I’m here again and it seems your work is done, how about we get your favorite drink together?”

“I mean we are closed…” You raised your eyebrows and crossed your arms over your puffed out chest. “But I’ll let you get a drink this one time.” He seemed satisfied with that answer so he sat down on one of the bar chairs, followed by him tapping the empty space next to him. “At least let me make your drink before I sit down!” You playfully rolled your eyes and began pouring liquor into a shaker. You noticed him looking at his phone after receiving a message from someone. “Someone at home is missing you already?” You asked jokingly as you placed your fruity, yet strong, favourite drink on the bar.

He shook his head. “Not at all. Just my.. Colleague asking what I'm up to.” He put his phone on the counter. You went around the bar and pushed a glass towards the man and sat down on the empty stool beside him. “I never got your name. I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.” He smirked as he took a sip from the drink. “Not bad.”

You chuckled as you pointed at the name tag that was attached to your shirt. The man looked at you dumbfounded. “Well, this is awkward now. Doesn't seem like a fair trade anymore.”

“I’ll just hope that you were being respectful and you didn’t want to look at my chest.” You winked and couldn’t contain your laughter as you did up the buttons on your shirt, hiding the “money makers” as your best friend would call them. The man looked at your chest for a moment as you did up your buttons before quickly looking away. You could see his face get a little red, although you weren't sure if it was a reaction to what you just said or the alcohol finally showing effect. He cleared his throat and seemed to want to change the subject. “Ehem..the name’s Leon S. Kennedy, by the way.”

“Ooo S. Kennedy huh? Am I going to have to guess what the S stands for?” You tucked a strand of hair behind your ear as you talked.

“Go for it.” He laughed and took another sip of the drink.

“Uhhh… Steven?” A head shake. “Sam?” A no again. ”Sexy?” A chuckle but still a no. “Ugh I give up!”

“It’s Scott.”

“Scott, huh? Sounds kinda cute.” You laughed as you looked at Leon and then the clock behind him. “Even though we haven’t spent much of an evening together we’re going to have to call it quits, I have to lock up now.”

Leon turned around to look at the clock. “That’s a shame.” He turned back to face you. “Y’know I’ve got some drinks back at my place if you’re interested.” He raised his eyebrows as he asked for the date to continue.

You thought about the offer for a moment, you didn’t have any classes in the morning so maybe it would be fun. “Wine?” You asked and he replied with a nod. As the two of you stood up from your stools you quickly paced around the restaurant making sure everything was perfect. The lights were off. All of the switches were off. And finally the security alarm was turned on. You shuffled Leon along as you left the restaurant, making sure that he wasn’t trapped in there when you locked the door. “Alright, that’s everything!” You placed your keys into your work bag and slung it over your shoulder. As the two of you walked to the parking lot you looked down at your phone and secretly texted your roommate saying you were going to be out much longer than anticipated and that your location was being shared with them. Just in case.

Leon fished his keys out of his pocket and tapped a button on the car keys, causing a nearby car to light up. With the size of that tip that Leon left an expensive black sports car belonging to him shouldn’t have been a surprise. “Woah! What car is this?” You asked, not knowing anything about cars apart from the fact that most of them have four wheels.

“It’s a Porsche Nine-Eleven.” He replied. “It’s my favourite.”

“Your favourite? Meaning you have multiple cars?” You questioned. “Can I borrow one? I don’t even have a car.” You chuckled as you opened the door to the luxury car. Leon chuckled too as he got into his seat and tapped a few buttons on the dashboard. The entire car began to roar as it’s engine was turned on, making your entire body shake. Making your entire body heat up. “Is it hot in here or is it just me?” You asked.

He chuckled. “It’s because your heated seat is on. I can turn it off if you would like.”

As the car traveled you looked out of the window and when turning to your left you noticed that the lights in the car softly lit up Leon’s face as he drove the car. Showing off his sharp jaw and slight stubble.

After a twenty minute drive you step out of the car onto the gravel driveway and you hear the stones crunching underneath your feet. Leon walks up beside you and leads you up the stairs to the front door. Reaching into his front right pocket he pulls out his keys and unlocks the double doors, allowing you to walk through before he did so too and then close the door behind him. “Woah! You have such a cool house!” The large modern chandelier reflected onto the marble flooring in the entryway. Leon kicked off his shoes and pushed them over to the side of the wall, prompting you to do the exact same. “You have no idea how much I hate these shoes, they are so uncomfortable, especially when you wear them for twelve hour shifts without sitting down.”

“Why on earth do you wear them if they hurt you?” He asks as he takes off his jacket, hanging it up on a coat rack beside the door. He reaches out his hand to take off yours as well, to which you respond with a smile. You turn around and he carefully takes it off of you, followed by him then placing it on the coat rack next to his own.

"I don't have much to choose from when it comes to clothing. Just in general our work uniforms aren't really the best of the best."

Together the two of you went into the kitchen and you sat at a bar stool, leaning on the counter. As you waited for Leon to fix you up a drink you noticed just how empty the house has been so far. “Wow it’s quite empty, going for the minimalistic vibe huh?”

Leon shook his head as he placed two wine glasses down on the counter, both with ice. “I just haven’t gotten around to decorating this place yet.” He poured both glasses full and sat then leant on the counter in front of you, placing your drink next to your hand. “I mean I’ve only been here for like 3 years but I’m a busy man.”

You picked up your drink and almost dropped it after hearing that response. "Three years? You must be reaaally busy if you didn't have time for at least some decoration. What are you doing all the time anyway?" You took the drink and a small sip before standing up with it still in your hand. Leon looked at you kind of confused, but following you nevertheless. You walked around the kitchen, then the other rooms. You were talking nonstop about the stuff Leon could put on the walls, the floor or just anywhere really. He couldn't even say anything because it seems you were in your own world already planning the entire interior design of his house. Leon was following you through all the rooms as if he was actually visiting you and not the other way around. While planning the designs for Leon’s home you realised just how excited you were to do this officially as a job in the future. Creating your own interior design company and being your own boss was something you had in mind ever since you were a child. After who knows how long you both finished your drinks and also the house tour. You ended back at the kitchen where you started and both sat down on what seems to be the only chairs in this humongous house. Leon went away for a few seconds before returning with yet another bottle of what appeared to be some expensive wine. “You’re not just trying to get me super drunk so you can kidnap me, right?” You asked him jokingly, but also slightly worried. After all, what were you doing here in a complete strangers house?

“If I was going to kidnap you I would have done it already, buttercup.” You gulped but shrugged it off after looking at Leon, who smiled at you. Maybe it wouldn't be too bad being kidnapped by him. He's got quite the nice home after all. Leon stopped you in your thoughts as he handed you a glass of wine. "It's really good, trust me. Nothing against your favourite drink, but still very tasty." You took a little sip from the wine and looked at him with big eyes.

"Wow. This is actually really good. I've tasted many different brands of wine but never one like this. You do know your stuff, huh?"

He let out a small laugh which also made you smile. You didn't know if it was the alcohol but you suddenly felt really hot sitting so close to this handsome man. "Anyway, what are you doing besides working at that restaurant? I saw some school books at the bar earlier, were they yours?"

You nodded lightly. "I'm currently studying Art and Design but I needed some money to even afford all that stuff. So that's why I ended up at that restaurant." He looked at you, maybe even a little sad. But maybe you just started imagining things.

"You don't have any family that supports you or anything?"

You shook your head. "That's kind of a difficult topic. My parents aren't really what they used to be after.. well, let's just say some inconveniences." You took another big sip, showing Leon that you didn't wanna talk about it anymore. Even though he wanted to ask, he stopped himself before ruining the whole evening, or well, night. You sighed and looked at him. "On our tour I think we missed the bathroom. Mind showing me the way?" He nodded and led you through the house. As you were in the bathroom Leon went up to his workroom and picked up an envelope. He went downstairs again and hid the filled envelope in one of your jackets' pockets. After a while you rejoined him in the kitchen looking really tired. "Leon, I don't wanna sound rude but I’ve had a long day and I think I really need some sleep. Do you mind calling me a taxi?" He saw just how tired you were so he didn't try to make you stay any longer. He grabbed his phone, called you a taxi and gave you some money for it.

You wanted to decline, but Leon didn't want to argue so you had no chance but to pay with his money. "I brought you here in the first place so the least I can do is pay for your ride home", he said. You both then went to the entrance where Leon helped you put on your jacket. After that you both sat down outside on the stairs waiting for the taxi to arrive. Neither of you said a word, but it wasn't a weird silence, you both really enjoyed each other's company and after a few moments of sitting on the cold stairs a car arrived. Leon brought you to the door and you told the driver your address. You gave Leon a small wave as the taxi began to drive off...

[mojaves]

the not-so-long awaited not-really sequel to this i did the other day

1.1k words, no warnings for anything really except jason being an absolute bastard, as per usual.

Radio turned up, windows rolled down, aircon on full blast - just the beginning of yet another painfully long day of travelling. Why did all these leads have to be miles apart from each other? Couldn’t Danny have made it easy, just picked a place, and stayed there? So they can all deal with their issues, and go home?

No.

Of course not, why would he? He was a scheming little bastard, and with Ruthie by his side, the two were practically unstoppable, unreadable. There was no way of knowing what their next move was, of being one step ahead. Putting it all in perspective, Jason and Marcus were at least ten miles behind at any given moment, and the distance was growing - fast. Maybe, if Jason hadn’t spent the last year stuck in the weird in-between of life and death, they’d have found him faster. But blaming himself was useless, there was nothing he could’ve done about it, definitely nothing Marcus could have done about it - he didn’t know Ruthie, he didn’t know what she was capable of. Her being tangled up in this whole debacle made it so much more complicated. 

Jason’s eyes are glued on the road, stomach churning away. They’d been driving for roughly two hours now, early start, completely missed breakfast. He was starving. Marcus, on the other hand, was focused on something else entirely. Gazing out the window, half-asleep, dreaming of something he’d be too embarrassed to admit. Jason. Of course it was Jason. They’d been stuck in each other’s company for the worse part of a month now, and, lately, he had been front and centre in most, if not all, of Marcus’ dreams. Can’t even escape from the bastard in his sleep. 

He’d be there, stupid little smirk on his face, hands gripping Marcus’ thighs, whispering his name. Marcus. They’d lean in closer, until their foreheads were touching. MARCUS. And then they’d-.

“Fuck, your ears fall off or somethin’?”

He’s jolted awake by Jason punching him in the arm, a lot harder than was probably necessary, but, hey, it worked. “Wha-. Huh? Wh-. Yeah. Hi. Hello, yeah, I’m awake I’m alive I’m not-. Yeah. Hi.” He blinks, shutting his eyes tightly, in an attempt to unblur his vision.

“Real deep in thought there, huh. Anything interesting?”

“Deep in-. Yeah. Yeah, I mean. No. Nothing interesting, just. Y’know. Stuff.”

“Sure, sure, okay.” And there was the stupid little smirk, as if he knew. Did he know? Did I say something? Shit. What did I do? SHIT. “You wanna get s-.”

“NO.” Marcus suddenly blurts out, eyes wide, almost throwing himself out of his seat. He takes a second to recollect himself, ease himself back into his own body. Jason flicks his eyes over to him for a second, bewildered. “Sorry, you were… You were saying?” Please, for the love of GOD, be normal. 

A confused silence falls on the two. Marcus white-knuckle grips his seatbelt. “Was just gonna ask if you wanted food, but if you’re that against it, then maybe-.”

“Food. Yeah. Food would be good.”

“Good. Fuckin’ starved. Could eat a whole. Uh, what’s the expression? Eat a whole guy. Or some shit.”

“Horse. I’m so hungry I could eat a horse.” “A horse? Who’s out here eatin’ a whole goddamn horse?”

“Who’s out here eating people?”

Jason laughs and turns to him, “Oh, you’d be surprised,” which is immediately followed by a wink and a subtle glance.

“What do you-.” A pause. A sudden realisation. “OOOOH. Oh, I see. I get it now.” Another realisation, one that only makes him all the more flustered. I need to kill this man. I could kill both of us right now. I could just take the wheel. I could do it. I’m going to do it. I’m going to-. No. I can’t do that. That’s-. We’ll be fine. I’m fine.

He laughs again and smiles. Making Marcus squirm was always the highlight of the day. And it was always so incredibly easy. But, in Jason’s mind, it was just because he was a prude, a few steps away from being a nun or something. The concept of Marcus feeling any sort of positive way about him was never once considered, which is why the overt flirting came so easy to him. 

“Aah, don’t worry about it, I’m not that hungry. Yet.”

He didn’t feel any sort of way about Marcus, either. So it was fine. This meant absolutely nothing. Nothing at all. Definitely not. Well, maybe. I mean. He is kinda-. Fuck off. I’m not having this conversation with myself.

“You’re a dick, y’know?”

“Yeeeaaah, I’ve been told. Many times, actually.”

“No way, really?”

“You are what you eat.”

“... I could kill you right now. I could kill us both.” He couldn’t, but he so desperately wanted to reach for the wheel. Turn it. Send them both crashing into-. Damn it. There’s nothing to crash into. Road’s empty. We’re in the middle of nowhere. He knows this. Jason knows this.

“And how’re you gonna go about doing that?” Marcus simply folds his arms and glares at him, there’s nothing he can say in response to that. Not yet, anyway. “Poison? Romeo and Juliet style? Or, I dunno, the classic murder-suicide? … OOH, no, I know, maybe-.”

“Decapitation.” He says with a confidence he’d never had before, sounding as if he was actually going to do it, or at least strongly considering it. “Yeah. Decapitation. For you, anyway.”

“Funny you should say that, actually.” He sounds calm, but the memories quickly come flooding back, of that moment, the fear, the pain. The look in Eric’s eyes. Thinking he was about to die. Again. “Guy I know tried to-. Well, he didn’t go into it with the aim of slicin’ off my fuckin’ head, but he was close.” Too goddamn close.

“Don’t buy it. You’d at least have-.” Jason quickly pulls down the choker on his neck just a little, showing the thick scar left behind from when it was sliced open, surrounded by smaller scars that vaguely resemble letters. “Oh. Shit. That’s-.”

“Yeah. Was a real pain in the neck.” He jokes about it now, but part of him, a big part of him, wishes that Eric had actually succeeded - just ended it all right there. It would’ve been nice, no more pain, no more suffering. A bit of a shocking end, sure, but he felt like that’s what he deserved. But, then again, if that did kill him, then he’d never have gotten the chance to hunt Danny down, give him a taste of his own medicine. And Marcus would have lived out the rest of his life with a low-life cheat who probably didn’t even love him. And he deserved better than that, someone who would actually love him, appreciate him. Someone like-. Ah. SHIT.

[calehenituseappreciation]

Ive seen a lot of Dream (and usually Techno and Phil too) as gods au (i have one too dw) but all of you are sleeping on the funniest option.

Tommy is the god.

Tommy.

hes the only one in that galaxy (other than drista ofc)

Just imagine how fucking funny it is like 

it would be so fucking hilarious

and tommy just doesnt tell them

so techno is just there making all these blood god jokes and jokingly telling tommy to serve him and tommys just laughing

imagine a god in the form of a chaotic 16 year old racoon gremlin just walts into your land commits arson and gets banned, only to come back with another person who he helps start a nation for drugs?

imagine how fucking funny it is

just

imagine tubbo banning a literal god from his lands and he just doesnt come back? he just plays by the rules? then goes and like sits in the corner all sad because some humans/dreamons told him to leave

ranboo, just joining the server: hi-  a chaotic gremlin god: wanna commit arson with me?  ranboo, just trying to vibe and maybe not disturb this god: sure 

Phil and Ranboo recongnize Tommy as a god on sight.

Everyone else just refuses to believe it. hes Tommy. Tommyinnit. hes just weird lol

And Drista being a fucking chaotic blood god? 

drista is open about her godhood and does not hesitate to spawn blocks

Drista finds Dream and decides she likes this small human, and dream just has to deal with it lmao.

drista and tommy are both born at the same time.

Tommy is a god of music, chaos, war and theivery (the last one bc he is a BITCH)

Drista is the blood god, chaos, deception, and theatre

okay but imagine the sbi interactions... like ig in this au tommy joins at like 12/13 years of age (in their minds) so he doesnt really grow much 

and like tommy, a literal god, just claiming phil as his father???

phil, in his house making eggs, assuming one of his sons woke up and came to the kitchen, not looking: hey son  tommy, from their couch, already deciding hes phils son now: whats up dad? phil: looks up at tommy who are you tommy: idk dad, who am i  phil: *stares at tommy for a second* eh i made extra eggs you can stay 

ASJIDGASUIOG IMAGINE TOMMY TELLING THEM HES A GOD BUT THEY THINK HES JOKING AND IGNORE HIM

everyone on the server: tommy is the youngest! tommy, as old as the universe: no im not!!!! im not a child!!!! he doesnt pout because pouting is for children and hes not a child but hes pouting tubbo: lol im older than you by a month tommy dont try to hide it tommy: im not a child!!!! techno: laughs

tommy doesn't try to hide that hes a god just its tommy

thats all the evedince anyone needs to think tommy isnt a god or powerful its like mcc hes good but only when he doesnt throw for content

quackity: sees drista written in bedrock lmao drista visited? tommy: yeah! i wrote that for her!  quackity: snorts yeahhhh sureee tommy

imagine like how fucking funny it is jsut like 

a fucking chaotic god breaks into your house androbs you makes a room under your house and decides to live in your floorboards

imagine dream like trying to manipulate tommy, and tommy a fucking anchient diety immeditly recongnizes what hes doing

but decides to play along for the angst and giggles and then actually gets mad when no one fucking cares for his theatrics

tommy, storming off to technos base to rob and build under: >:///// cant believe none of them acknoledged my  deppression 

i love that tommy stills robs everyone, he doesnt need to he can spawn in anything he wants

he just does it for the sport of robbery

JAKOGFSDOH

THE HOLY LAND

dream: im god actually tommy: thats so fucking funny lets make a cult about that :)  dream: see! look! im god! and jesus!  tommy: wheezing

imagine tommy getting stressed and letting go of his mortal form

Tommy, his human form peeling away, showing his actual form a bit: WH̸͘A͠T̷ ̶̢T͞H͢E ̡͘F̴̵͘Ù̧C͜K҉ ̶T͘͜͞E͟CHǸ͏Ǫ  Techno: HAH?

tommy just saw tubbo and got emotionally attached

Tommy, a literal god: hello Tubbo: oh hi do you like my pet bee? Tommy: you’re mine now Tubbo: im okay with this

tommy, a bored god: gives techno shapeshifting powers  techno, not even caring: changes into more human to pig-ishg forms as he wishes this is my life now ig 

phil lets tommy do fuck all in exile bc he knows hes a god hes fine

phil: IDC IF YOURE A GOD! YOU WILL DO THE DISHES NOW YOUNG MAN! tommy: grumbles but does them

phil is the only one who can control tommy

god... tommy... with star freckles... on his human form... (as well as his god one)

tommy: f̷͛͠a̵̋t̵̒̑h̸̚e̶̓͝r̸͊ ̸̐̒i̴ ̸̅̿d̷̉͆o̵͂͋ ̵̛̆ñ̸̾ő̶́t̸̎́ w̶͆͘i̴͠s̵̓̈́h̸͗́ ̵̯͗f̶͋́ő̴͑r̷̐̌ ̶͝é̵̽g̸͊͂g̵̒s̷͂̃  phil: idc, eat your goddamn eggs tommy: pouts

tommy, despite being able to get supplies himself by fucking spawning them in: hey tubbo? we need supplies 

In this au ig like if a god claims you you get a mark on your skin showing that. Drista’s would be like a green crown, Tommys would be a red and white disk (white as the outer ring and red as the center) (its different enough that if you don’t realise tommy is a god you wouldnt realise whos it is) (schlatt is the only one who never had one which shoulda been a sign dude :/)

Dream has two from the beginning, everyone else has only one, well until they meet drista. (sbi have had one since they met tommy, though they dont remember the first time they met tommy)

wait what if tommy like found them all as children one by one and later kinda pulled some strings to get them all in one kingdom. (he still joined sbi through forcing phil to adopt him) 

OKAY BUT IMAGINE IF TOMMY MET TECHNO WHEN TECHNO WAS YOUNG ENOUGH TO NOT REMEMBER

tommy would hang out with baby techno and tell him stories

once he told him the story of a man named thesus

another time he told him the story of a blood god

like for example tommys first time meeting techno would be like

(for context techno lived in a shitty village and was an orphan and it was kinda a dog eat dog place, he learned how to be strong because of it)(he was young enough that he doesn’t remember this well, just like learning about the blood god and someone giving him gold)

baby techno: sighs tommy, appearing out of nowhere: oh heyyy whyre you sad? techno: jumps turning around with a knife up ready for a fight who are you tommy: im tommy! :) techno: what do you want from me! you dont scare me! tommy: whats your name! techno: i have a knife! i'll use it! tommy: of course, thats a given, but its rude not to tell people your name techno, confused: t-technoblade? tommy: smiles thats a nice name techno: so. tommy: hm? techno: why're you here tommy: i don't have a reason. im just a traveller! techno: then why hole to this terrible village! theres nothing nice here! everyone is terrible and so are you! tommy: hmmmm i dont agree techno: what are you? a child? i thought adults were supposed to know that everyone is mean tommy: mmhmm looks at the bruise on technos face where'd you get that? techno: fight. i won. i'll win against you too! so don't try anything. tommy: of course. i would never win in a fight against a blood god techno, putting down his knife a bit, stars in his eyes: blood god? tommy: grins blood. god. i think she'd like you. techno, muttering: maybe i can give the blood god some of your blood tommy: laughs yeah, she'd defenitly find you intresting tommy: here tosses techno a golden crown at techno, he spawned it in in the moment techno: whats this? tommy: a crown, thought it suit you screams in the distance tommy: huh. i need to go. have fun lil piglin. ruffles technos hair before running off towards the screaming unbeknownst to the pig the blood god was actually the one waiting for the god he met. techno: stares at the crown 

Techno found a pouch of gold in his ‘house’ later that day. he didnt know who left it but it helped him get food for that night. (he kept the crown)

okay but imagine tommy not taking the war seriously at all, and only seeing it as a squabble between mortals, Like toddlers fighting

dream: SURENDER BY TOMMOROW OR WE'LL DECLARE WAR! wilbur: FUCK YOU WE'LL NEVER SURENDER AND JOIN YOUR SMP! Tommy: how cute

tommy doesnt realise that theyre serious until wilbur dies

tommy would usually go apeshit against anyone who dares messes with his humans, but what is he supposed to do when his humans are fighting Eachother?

wilbur: fucking goes insane and dies  tommy: hey- hey can you guys let me talk to wil for a sec? everyone else leaves tommy, unsually somber: sorry i didnt help you i forgot how easily breakable mortals are tommy: this time you wont die, and i'll make it so that you dont break again, okay? tommy: brings wilburs soul out of its body and enters his mindscape ghostbur: wakes up what- where am i? tommy: hi there ghostbur: who are you tommy: i go by a lot of names all, one, you, the world, the universe, god, but you can just call me tommy ghostbur: oh okay. who am i? tommy: you're name was wilbur soot. you were the son of philza minecraft and brother to Technoblade, Tubbo and myself. ghostbur: was? tommy: well you see, you died. ghostbur: oh... well what am i then? tommy: a ghost! well actually its your choice. would you like to continue your existance or fade away with your body? ghostbur: i dont want to fade away! tommy: smiles thats what i thought you'd say stretches his hand to wilbur ghostbur: grabs tommy hand tommy: lets go home

ghostbur doesnt remember that though

he only remembers the good

tommy wont let him remember the bad, what if he breaks again? mortals are so fragile

phil realises what tommy did as soon as he sees ghostbur 

drista, painting tommys nails (there both in god form btw) (after wilburs death btw): tommy shouldn't you of all gods realise how fragile they are?  tommy: i know just... forgot  drista: sighs and nods i get what you mean, especially with the ones we found... they act a lot like gods sometimes i forgot they arent  tommy: ikr? wait- drista here gets drista's hair out of her face you were gonna get it on my nails, anyways, don't judge me. we all know if dream died you would turn him into a ghost too drista: smirks not if you do it first, we all know you would tommy: you say that as if you wouldn't fight me to do it first  drista: .... tommy: ... drista: both of us when he dies? tommy: nods tommy: anyways my turn to do your nails 

or like tommy with ghostbur like

ghostbur: i don't like this :( tommy, a worried brother and god: whats wrong? ghostbur: everyone is mad at me and i d-dont know why- why are they mad at me tommy: theyre mad at something alivebur did ghostbur: b-but im not alivebur sniffs it hurts. i dont like it. tommy: spawns in some blue here ghostbur: whats that? tommy: its some blue! it'll help you not hurt anymore! ghostbur: how does it work? tommy: see how its blue? ghostbur: nods tommy: well its blue because it sucks up all the bad feelings! it'll help ghostbur: !!!!! ghostbur: presses the blue into his chest ghostbur: !!!!its working!!!! :D tommy: smiles good

wilbur fucking died and tommy went from annoying little brother to caring older brother

tommy just wants to help his brother :) though he doesnt realise that not letting ghostbur remember bad memories isnt good

*at logsted shire btw* ghostbur: who are you? tommy, chuckling: did you forget me already ghostbur? ghostbur: i didnt forget you! i think! you're tommy! i just... you're different tommy, looks over at ghostbur: different how? ghostbur: you're not normal are you? tommy: grins whaaaaat? you think im weirdddd? how heartbreaking... my own brother thinks im weird, this is terrible ghostbur: giggles tommy: but really, don't worry about it bur. ghostbur: you sure? tommy: yeah, dont worry about me ghostbur: smiles okay! do you want some blue anyways? tommy: giggles sure! ghostbur: grins

ghostbur isnt worried about tommy

he knows hes strong

phil having to tell tommy that he cant just not let wilbur remember the bad memories

and tommys like "what if he breaks again!" and phil hugs him and tells him to at least ask ghostbur if he wants to remember and tommys like ‘fine’

tommy: hey bur? ghostbur: yeah? tommy: do you like you're memories? ghostbur: i mean, yeah its hard not to when you only remember the good tommy, quietly: would you want to remember the bad? ghostbur: w-what brought this question on tommy: answer the question ghostbur: no- alivebur was badi shouldn't want to- tommy: but what do you want bur? wilbur, silent for a moment: yeah- yeah i do. not that i like the bad memories! they hurt... but i wish i could remember tommy: ... ghostbur: hey tommy? tommy: yeah? ghostbur, with tears in his eyes: do you think they'd be less mad at me if i could remember, maybe then i could repair my relationships, what the hell am i supposed to do when i dont even remember hurting them? tommy: what if they dont? what if you break again? ghostbur, saltily: we'll maybe i'll be able at least be able to say i know why everyone hates me tommy: i know how to get all of your memories back ghostbur, looks towards tommy in shock: you do??? tommy: nods ghostbur, voice wavering: for how long tommy: since the beginning ghostbur: and you didnt tell me tommy: i did what i thought was best. i just didnt want you to hurt anymore. ghostbur, angrily: WELL THAT CLEARLY WORKED DIDNT IT? tommy: sorry wilbur, sometimes i forget how to handle humans ghostbur: what- tommy: sighs and taps ghostbur on the forehead and ghostbur does the ghost equivilent of passing out tommy: wont hide any memories this time

ghostbur doesnt wake up, instead wilbur wakes up weither thats good or bad we'll see

wilbur, waking up with all his memories: HOLY SHIT TOMMY WASN'T KIDDING phil, who was reading beside the bed tommy placed wilbur into, which was in technos house. yes he broke into technos house with a passed out wilbur. move on.: hm? wilbur: holy shit phil: huh? yeah. wilbur: wait you knew? phil: yeah i recongnized him as soon as i saw him about 5 years ago now? wilbur: excuse me while i freak out because my little brother is an actual god

it really hits wilbur that tommy is a god later

wilbur: hey tommy? tommy: yeah? wilbur: how fucking old are you? tommy: snorts of course thats the first thing you ask wilbur: well? tommy: i dont really know the exact years since years are kind of a human thing that were invented recently wilbur: they were invented thousands of years ago- tommy: but it was around the beginning of this galaxy wilbur, softly: what the fuck

tommy telling wilbur stories about different heros and villains and different humans he met during his life.

Adsjbffsg what if Tommy made himself blonde and blue eyed and white bc thats hyow the first human he met looked like asjfhsd

and just didnt change that, despite meeting new humans, its just his defult settings.

he would totally do this tho im crying.

drista just based her human form off dream because she is his sister now. he must deal with this. trying disowning me when i look like you BITCH.

thats my take anyways later might continue this

[saintobio]

this chapter was just… idk what to say. it’s amazing and soooo well-written but fuck. my heart can’t take it. i have sm things to say!!

first off, how dare gojo be worried about us??? like he isn’t the cause of our suffering??? gojo u bastard 🖕 strangely enough, i actually do believe he wanted to enjoy bora bora with y/n. he’s just an indecisive little child and cannot choose between y/n and sera

i’m glad y/n finally noticed gojo wearing the wedding ring! but damn. it really had to end that way huh 🥲

i love how one of the first people to know about the cheating was shoko and geto, gojo’s friends. personally it means a lot more that the one who talks to y/n about this is not someone close to her like gen or her father, bc we know that shoko and geto voicing their disapproval lends more validity to y/n’s feelings since they’re gojo’s friends. so the fact that his own friends don’t support his bs proves just how wrong the situation is and how y/n’s feelings are very valid

“I couldn’t tell her that it’s not right for her to come anymore.” gojo it’s time for you to put your foot down and make a decision. “and you’ve been so cold to me for the past week for no reason. What’s your problem?” FOR NO REASON?? BITCH TELL ME. when this man is being sweet i cave in, just like y/n. but when he’s being an ass i wanna choke the life outta him istg

on some better news, i like how gojo’s beginning to realise just how traumatic iceland was for y/n. development! yay? only to be broken later on but let’s not talk abt that yet

when gojo slipped into y/n’s room bc he could no longer sleep peacefully unless it’s with her… 🙁 god that was so painful. but also quite satisfying to know that his body aches for the comfort of y/n’s presence. and when y/n woke up later that morning and felt disgusted bc she believed he and sera did it when they didn’t even do it? god they’re both really out of sync it hurts

and toji?? MR TOJI ZENIN??? when he left a comment on y/n’s post i screeched so loud my brother told me to stfu cuz he had an online class 😭😭 i was hoping gojo would flip y/n’s phone and see that she’s been stalking toji shajsjsksk also when they were on the plane why didn’t gojo hear y/n say she and toji were friends?? 😩 i wanted him to be so salty. see now even geto and shoko know that toji would treat y/n better than gojo ever could, even if only as a friend 😌

one word: sera. bitch. what a fucking bitch. i was holding back my anger on her bc she ain’t worth it but goddamn i fucking hate her sm. i hate her even more when she smiled???? after gojo fucked her??? like i understand why she would think gojo genuinely wanted to fuck her raw and cum in her but by god i would do anything to smack that smile off her face. first, she installed the fucking app. second, the audacity to even go up to y/n and what? assert her dominance? bitch the entire world would never side with you. y/n is the legal wife and you’re just pathetic cheating scum. hope hoejo’s dad deals with her filthy ass and that of her family’s so they don’t spawn anymore!!

another one: geto. i know we had our reservations abt him at first, but it’s nice to finally see him making a stand. i think he’s beginning to see y/n as a friend after he got to know her, wc is great bc y/n needs all the support she can get, and where else to get it than from her stupid husband’s friends. i like how sera mentioned this isn’t the first time geto and gojo have fought, but i admire how he’s basically stepping in and telling gojo to make a fucking decision. bc honestly gojo’s indecision is what’s fucking things up for everybody. even for stupid sera. someone needed to tell gojo that he is indeed becoming like his father and it’s only fitting that geto is the one to do it bc y/n doing it (as she alluded to when they were fighting) just made gojo angrier and clouded his senses since he still has some misplaced anger towards her.

the fight: okay i was lowkey half-hoping y/n is rushed to the hospital of smth shsjsjsks but damn it still hurt either way 🥲 finally, everything has come bursting out. i’m glad y/n got to speak her side of the story but oh how poetically unfortunate that gojo only felt remorse after (1) making y/n cry so hard she passed out, and (2) raw fucking that sera bitch. i know you said gojo’s character will really start changing in ch 9 so i’m actually very excited to see how you will flesh him out even more

ok so about the last part. i think what i find most painful is the fact that we KNOW gojo will regret fucking sera raw. and i personally find it sm harder to hate someone who would inevitably regret his actions. like, for me it’s better if gojo actually intentionally, wholeheartedly fucked sera raw without any care for the world bc then i could bask in my hatred for him. the feeling i have right now resembles that one painting of ivan the terrible killing his son and the visceral look of regret that came on his face right after. it’s like when you do something so bad no matter how much you regret it, it’s already too late to do anything.

moving forward, i def think sera will become pregnant. it makes sense narratively. it was foreshadowed earlier in the chapter with the period tracker, and with sera actually telling y/n about the possibility that she will get pregnant. but i think where it will differ is in the part where sera says that if this happens, gojo will be hers. bc the total opposite will happen. poetic justice? definitely 😁

now idk if gojo will be able to convince sera to abort the fetus. but either way, i’m with gojo’s dad on this one 🏌️🏌️🏌️ club tf outta these hoes !!! i honest to god hope gojo gets a good flogging once his dad finds out abt the pregnancy. i’m sorry he had to suffer during his childhood but fuck that, he hurt other ppl (y/n, his mom) so bad he deserves it and more.

all in all this chapter was so intense. when y/n and gojo had their confrontation i felt like i wanted to scream just like y/n shsjsjskk. thank u for writing this series and i hope u have a good weekend!! 💕

(i actually have another part to be added in a diff ask. i just chose not to include it here in case it contains spoilers shajsjs)

(hi from the prev ask. this is the second part with the prediction shjsjsks)

so i think the progression of the story will go from the climax (ch 8) to a separation (whether official or not), to a reunion (now idk where this will go from here). i could see gojo and sera trying to work it out but things ultimately falling apart. then maybe gojo and y/n would reunite again to talk things through. i don’t think an official divorce will happen but i totally see y/n leaving for a while maybe to pursue things that will make her happy, with the open ending being one where she and gojo will promise to meet again someday when she’s ready. this time, gojo will be the husband waiting for her to return home :)

aaaaa i just wanna say (again) that i love this series sm and it gives me life every week. i love going thru ur asks in between each update and i know the angst will hurt me sm but it’s just soooo good!

A+ for this essay this literally encompassed all the important plot points from the previous chapter and you are vv amazing for that !! 😭 thank u for taking the time to send me ur thoughts <33 i can’t answer ur theories but i’m sure the other readers can relate/have the same predictions in mind.

[dameronology]

to all the pilots i've loved before {poe dameron} - 2/4

part two: laughter lines on tired eyes

summary: you’re in love with poe dameron. it’s both the most complicated and most simple thing in the galaxy - and it’s all shoved into a shoe-box under your bed, in the form of a thousand love letters. here’s to hoping he never finds them. (series masterlist)

warnings: this one's pretty angsty - mentions of death + loss

enjoy :)

- jazz xx

Poe had always been terrified of losing you. It came with the territory of his job, but a lot of it stemmed from the fact you were person who he was closest with.

Dear Poe,

He tried not to think about it, really. Why would he? There was no point in pondering upon depressing scenarios when you brought enough excitement to his real life. He'd always known to some extent that there was a chance you could be lost in battle but that was a thought he shoved to the back of his head. It was locked away in a chest in a dark corner - another thing he didn't need to think about.

It occurred to me today that I'm probably in love with you. At first, I thought I was always just really happy to see you, but then I realised this morning, a MONDAY morning when I normally despise everyone including you, that I actually really wanted to see you.

But some things in life were unavoidable, and being dragged into a meeting room with a solemn looking Leia Organa was one of them. For Poe, it was an uncomfortably similar scenario to one he'd faced 25 years earlier. The General was more tired now, though - tired of fighting, tired of the war, tired of having these fucking conversations.

I'm never going to tell you, but as you know, I am famously bad at containing my emotions and I had to put this....somewhere.

They always started the same.

"I'm sorry."

Poe frowned. "What's happened?"

I'm sure it'll pass. I've had loads of random crushes in the past but they all went away. Do you remember Larry, the guy from the hangar, who I fancied for like a week last summer? And that very brief crush I had on Han Solo? Huh, maybe I have a time.

"(Name)'s squadron was flying back from Coruscant when the fleet took a hit," Leia's voice was shaky. Worlds away from her normal authoritative tone. "Three jets disappeared from our radars, including theirs."

"But you've found them, right?" He pushed. "You have to have found them-"

"- we've sent out several search parties," she cut him off. "They haven't found any wreckage on nearby planets, but that's good news, because it means they might have not been knocked down. It might be that they diverted to another planet to lay low for a few days."

I think it's the way you smile at me. You might not notice it, but you have these little creases by your eyes, and your lips always upturn even when you try to resist laughing. I really like your hugs too.

Poe sat up in his seat, heart rate suddenly picking up to a speed that almost beat that of his X-Wing. Clammy hands, sweaty palms, little black dots beginning to form at the edges of his peripheral vision. Suddenly, he was eight years old again, gripping the sides of his chair, throat as dry as the desert on a hot summer's day; brown eyes filled with sorrow and tears, feeling like a punch to her goddamn throat. She hadn't shaken that vision out of her head, not ever - and now, here it was all over again - the same face, the same creased brown, the same eyes. They were more tired now, with laughter lines etched around the sides, brown irises a little darker and more sunken. But Poe's eyes had never lost that spark - it had dimmed a little bit, but it was still there. Whether it would be after all this was hard to say.

And just...well it's you really, isn't it? It's the way you go out your way to make me smile when I'm sad and the way you'll fight anyone who makes me mad.

"Let me lead a search party," he begged. "Please, I'll find them in now time-"

"- Poe, you're too close to the matter," Leia replied. "You can help, though."

"Anything," Poe said. "I'll do anything."

"We've been trying to locate the back-up plans that (name) prepared for the mission - they should include a list of potential safe spots," she explained. "If you can find that list, we'll begin searching them."

"Have you tried their quarters?"

"I didn't want to invade their privacy," Leia said. "But if you happen to have a key, then-"

It's everything. It's your resilience and your humour and the way you see the best in everyone. The way you're never afraid to fight for what you believe in or stand up for what's right.

She was cut off by the sound of Poe's chair legs screeching against the floor. He was up in a split second, flying out the room without another word. His fists were balled up as he stormed down the corridor, nails digging into the palms of his hands - the pain of them piercing his skin was merely a reminder that all this was real. It wasn't a nightmare. He wasn't going to wake up and find you asleep in your room, safe and sound.

If Leia was right, and you were just laying low, would you not have said something to him? Found your own way to pass the message on? It wasn't like you to just disappear without a trace. You were always the organised one; the one who carried band-aids for when he inevitably burnt himself on a soldering iron, and the one who stitched him up every time he came staggering back from a mission, covered in minor scratches that he had heroically labelled battle scars.

You're amazing and I'm so lucky you're my best friend. This war is fucking awful but having you by my side makes everything a little less fucking awful.

Your room was just as you'd left it; tidy, but lived in. The jacket you'd stolen from him two years ago was strewn across your desk chair; the desk itself was piled high with random papers and forms, and there was a photo beside them of you, him, Finn and Rey. Some of your clothes were tossed on the bed, and your spare pair of boots was dumped in the middle of the floor.

Poe quickly scanned the room, before rifling around the sheets on your desk - but, to no avail. They were just random notes, and what looked like a letter from your father. He tried to recall any thing that might point to where you kept your mission plans - there had been the time you'd leant him your X-Wing maintenance guide, which was in a box under your bed.

This is probably something I'll take to my grave. Maybe I'll tell you about it in like 20 years when we're married to different people and meet up for Life Day. And I'll be all like 'hey, Poe! This one time when we younger, I was in love with you' and we'll laugh about it.

Falling to his knees onto the floor, Poe flipped your duvet up and began to peer underneath. Dust bunnies, a maintenance kit, your old blaster, the book he leant you nine months ago, and a box full of papers. After pawing about for a minute, he pulled the shoe box out and tore it open.

Now, it should be said that you had never considered the possibility that Poe would ever look under your bed without you knowing. Why would he? Unless he was creeping about, of course - but he'd never do anything like that. It wasn't in his nature, and you'd put the fear of god into him more than enough times for him to be clever enough not to do that. This was different, though; it was literally a matter of life and death.

I guess that means I think we'll still be friends in 20 years. And 40 and 50 and 60 and until we're old and wrinkly and too senile to fly a jet. I love you now and I'm sure I'll still love you then.

Tipping the papers out onto your floor, Poe crossed his legs and began to search through them.

He didn't see it at first.

All the letters that said dear Poe, I love you.

When he did, his heart stopped. Like, that full on, gut clenching, air-stealing, pulse pausing stomach drop. It only further added to his theory that this whole fucking terrible day was just a dream - but maybe, just maybe, this bit was a little less terrible.

Hands shaking (now for a different reason), Poe grabbed the first letter from the pile. It was dated to just over a year ago.

Love, (name)

There was a lot to unpack; firstly, you'd been in love with him for a fucking year. And you'd brought up the secret crush on Han Solo that you swore to never talk about - and did you really think he'd ever be too senile to fly a jet? Poe would have been insulted if that first revelation hadn't reduced his entire thinking capacity down to one, tiny brain cell.

Clutching the letter in his hands, Poe fell back against the bed. All this information - your disappearance and the declarations - was much too complicated for him to process all at once. The worst part was that you'd said you were going to take it to your grave and now...well now, you actually might have.

But there was still a chance - a chance that you were still out there, trying to find your way back to him. To your best friend.

You had to come back.

tags: @neverlandlibrarian @asphyzzz @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @ubri812 @taina-eny @dessinemoiunehistoire @fangirl-316 @princessxkenobi @brandyllyn

[q-a-a-m]

Okay okay okay

A little while ago I saw a post saying that Max in season 15 wasn't fit enough to be with Reid for an accumulated amount of reasons. One of which was that she wasn't smart enough; like is comparison to Meave (is that how you spell it?)

But I do think people just take it all at face value and don't try and think deeper into the different characters - not only with love interests and other characters that aren't the main, but the main as well. People see Reid, Garcia or Prentiss and see: genius that deserved better, bubbly best friend everyone loves, amazing friend and now boss that everyone loves. BUT you need to look deeper into characters, they're all way more complex (even if the writing wasn't great at times) than you'd care to notice.

This same principle applies to Max. When Reid and her first met she went to protect her nephew first above all else - she's not self centred and has obvious reasons to be on guard about danger so she'll do what she can to protect the people she loves. She's beautiful, obviously, but she's also witty and has a great personality above all else. She actually seems like a person.

Even if she isn't too smart as everyone claims, she's great for Reid because it's like a breath of fresh air and a new perspective on relationships for him. Like they didn't meet through a case, a medical emergency (his headaches) or anything that put either one in immediate danger. They met how people could possibly meet in real life.

But I really want to go back to the "Max isn't smart" point I've brought up.

How on earth have people come up with that. Just because she doesn't have an IQ of 187 or works in that dangerous field she's not smart? She gave an insightful opinion about Reid's nightmare, talking about it in scientific terms with the cortisol (fight or flight response). She was put INTO that dangerous field of work to save her sister and dad and what did she do? She fucking nailed it. Easily lied and fooled Cat Adams and did everything to save her sister - bringing back that point of she'll do anything to save the people she loves. All of that shows she has high intelligence, especially the way that she was able to deduce how to take on the situation with Cat.

As someone with no prior training or had encounters with Cat before, she was able to realise what kind of person she was:

"I'm no profiler but I know queen bees. If she was willing to tell that kind of a lie, I knew who I was dealing with"

"She sees the world one way, that everyone's out to hurt you. So I just..kind of played on that"

In the immediate situation where her sister could be killed at any moment.

All of that tells me she has the brains to keep up with Reid - just not in the book smart kind of way everyone associates intelligence with. Reid does have that genius level IQ and knows lots of different things, but so does Max.

They're great together because they don't think in the same way and are able to butt heads about different debates and are able to educate one another about things they might have lacked an understanding of previously. She can help Reid with the awful things he has to go through by just being there and being able to be a distraction for a little bit.

I think all of that matters more than her intelligence to me.

And she's not boring either, I remember seeing that. Just because she's normal and doesn't have these great skills doesn't mean she's boring. Again, everyone takes it at face value. Just because we don't see what they could get up to or talk about when they're not on the screen when they're hanging out, doesn't mean they're not having fun or just being a goddamn couple.

Why do you think they were able to make it to the third coffee date, huh?

[kissme-hs]

Cute Chris evans fluff 💓

Hey my loves. I apologise for not writing in a while, my job and personal life haven’t been so great. But I will try to update as much as possible. Requests are open. Hope you all enjoy it :,)

Reblog+ liked if you enjoyed please!

Pairing: Chris Evans x fem! Reader

Warnings: none.

⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅

Life isn’t easy. It never was. There are days where everything comes crashing down, there are days when you’re at your lowest, there are days when you’re in pain—so much pain that you decide to keep it yourself because no one would understand.

But the those days, those crashing down minutes, that pain eases when you’ve someone to share it with. A person who listens to all your doubts you’ve about yourself and never fails to remind you how those doubts are nothing but a slip of mind from your perfect self. A person who promises to stay by your side through thick and thin and they do indeed stand on the grounds of their words they uttered in complete sense.

And the sad truth is, not everyone finds their ‘someone’. Not everyone is blessed enough to find their person, though they do but not so easily. But you however, lied somewhere in between. Never having a luck in finding that person who wouldn’t leave you wo thing months when they come to realisation that you’re not perfect, when they realise that you’ve flaws and you’re not one of the plastic barbies like they imagines. Everyone left, eventually.

Except Chris.

That day when you were weeping in his arms after having a not so self warming moment, when you were doubting his decisions for choosing a normal girl over those glorious women. To say, that you, for the first time let those hurtful comment get through that tough skin you built over the years, he held you. He held you so tight and didn’t let go. Not even once.

Your tears were damping his navy blue shirt he wore, he cradled your crumbling body in his arms joining you on the floor. His cheek pressed on top of your head as you clutched the soft cotton material of his clothing in pain. Those words thrown at you pierced through your skin and he saw it. But in that moment of you crying, at your lowest and not the prettiest with ugly tears and broken heart, lost self esteem—he stayed by your side.

That moment of pain was your golden memory because that’s the moment when you realised how this one was different. Any other would’ve left not wanting to deal with a broken state person, in this date everyone is busy fixing themselves that they all want someone who doesn’t require touch ups. And no one realises, that we all are a little broken at the end of the day.

And for Chris finding you was his biggest victory. He’s one of those mentioned earlier who can’t find Love easily, given up on hope to find love was the state he was in when he found you. His heart accepted the fate of him might being alone for the rest of his life seeing his friends getting married and having kids already.

It felt as if god answered all his prayers when he found you. You were the person he missed all this time not knowing who it really was. Not everyone understood him, to the world he might be a handsome guy with no flaws whose heart was made of pure gold but inside those four walls of his house where he sits idle left to wander alone with his insecurities made him who he really was.

But the day when you decided to stay overnight within a heartbeat to take care of him all night long because of the burning fever that took over his body, putting cold cloth over his forehead to make the sickness go away—not caring how it might make you lose your job because of the day off, was the day he felt his heart whisper, ‘she’s the one buddy, we found her’.

He felt like crying, how could someone care for him so dearly? How could someone be with him aware of the imperfections he possessed? How could someone ever love him so much to the point where he was for the first time felt as if all his inner darkness doesn’t exists anymore. How could someone?

But the answers to those questions nestled within the questions itself. It simply, she loved him just like he loved her.

So when one Friday evening when he walks into the kitchen, the aroma of freshly made lasagna filling the air made his mouth water and his heart swell with the view of his love stirring the soup with a soft humming coming through her lips, he couldn’t t help but wrap his arms around your body. Frank Sinatra faintly playing on the record player he got from the vintage store.

His lips quickly coming in contact with the skin of your supple neck making you giggle as you put the wooden spatula on the tray to turn around to face him.

“Well hello there mister” you smiled wrapping your arms around his neck. His own lips turning up to give the most adorning smile you’ve ever seen, his eyes searched yours. Though he stayed quite enjoying the moment, he said a lot.

“Can I have this dance my love?”

“But honey the food-“ you couldn’t even finish your senetence when his arms snuck behind your from your side to turn off the stove and pull you to the middle of the kitchen.

He took your hand in his and placed the other on his shoulder making you giggle. You shook your head when he placed a soft delicate kiss on your nose making you scrunch before wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you close, so close that if you look up at him you’re lips would touch his in a ever so light kiss. His chest pressed against yours as he swayed your bodies to the soft beat of the music resting his cheek on your head just like he did that night.

Closing your eyes you swayed along, where you rested your head against his chest. And you swore it felt as if you two were the only ones on this earth, it felt so heavenly. With his skin against your and your heartbeat synchronised nothing else mattered. He had his whole world in his arms and you were held by your world.

“I love you so much.” Chris whispered pulling away a little making you look up at him. His eyes sparkled with your sight staring at him with those eyes he lived so much, and a face of an angel.

His heart skipped a beat just by thinking how much he loved you and you loved him back just the same way, unconditionally.

“I love you too” you whispered before he leaned in and pressed his lips to your in a soft kiss, the kiss wasn’t rushed but slow. It was like as if you both were trying to make love through that kiss.

But it didn’t last forever as you wished, he pulled away after a minute or so making you whine slightly. His eyes stared into yours like if he was trying to find an answer of a question he was yet to ask. He brought your intertwined hands to his lips to peck the skin of your hand.

“Marry me?”

“Huh?”

“Marry me baby, I just want to you to be my forever, I want to grow old with you, have babies with you, die with you. I never thought I’d find someone who’ll love me more than I love myself and I swear everyday I wake up as the happiest man alive all because you’re in my life.” He whispered and you could see his eyes tearing up along yours. Though you’ve been together over an year and talked about marriage, this was completely out of the blue and a dream come true.

You stared at him with his tear dripping down your eyes as he slowly pulled away to reveal the most gorgeous ring you’ve ever seen and slowly gets on one knees, before he could even get comeplety down on his knee you pulled him up by cupping his cheeks and pressing your lips to his.

You could feel his warm tears falling on your cheeks mixing with yours and then making their way on your lips as one.

“Yes” you whispered against his lips and he waited no second in sliping that elegant on your finger before pulling in again for another kiss, first kiss as engaged lovers.

“I love you so goddamn much.”

“I love you more Chris”

He found his forever and so did you.

[overly-b]

Say It Again - JJ Maybank

In which JJ questions if he is deserving of you and your love. 

Warnings: swearing, sad JJ, fluff, awful editing don’t come for me

Word Count: 3.5k(whoops) 

Author's note: this is my first time writing in so long, be gentle with me friends. I know that a lot of people have done similar prompts of JJ feeling undeserving of love and the reader helps him through it, so this is a little bit unoriginal but, this is my take on it. 

Bold italics is a flash back. 

Thank you to @maybe-maybanks​ to the late night inspiration!

not my gif

As you, Kie and Pope approached the yard of the chateau, it became undeniably clear that JJ had gone off the rails with extravagant spending since you had seen him last. 

“What did you do JJ?” Pope questions the boy sitting in the hot tub. Looking at you through his sunglasses, he smirks. 

“I got a jet going straight in my butt right now” He ignores Pope. “Y’all, should get in here immediately, you hear me?” His sentence slurs slightly. “Salud!” He toasts his plastic champagne flute in the air, but opts to take a swig from the bottle in his other hand. 

JJ scans the faces of his three friends, eyes lingering at yours a moment longer than Kie and Popes. 

You see, just days ago, after getting arrested, then beaten by his father, JJ found you, and poured his heart out, to find that you shared his feelings, and the two of you started seeing each other in secret. 

Being that it was a secret, the two of you had yet to put any kind of label on it, but you loved that blonde boy to the ends of the earth, despite what had happened earlier that day. 

“You know what, that's exactly what I’m gonna do. Go off, by myself.”  

You watched as JJ began walking away. Pope attempted to stop him, but Sarah and John B had halted his efforts. You stood silently fuming at the actions of the boy you had such strong feelings for. How could he be doing something like this? This wasn’t the JJ you knew, had been friends with for years, and were now in love with. Though if you were being honest with yourself, you had loved him for years prior. 

“JJ!” You seethed, shaking off John B’s attempts to hold you back from running after him. He was already a good distance away from the group, he probably couldn’t even hear you yelling, so you started speed walking. It soon became apparent that he was simply ignoring you. 

“JJ!” You were merely twenty feet from him, screaming at his back. “JJ stop!” His strides continued. 

“You were real quiet back there princess, finally decide to comment?” You stepped in front of him, shoving his shoulders to force his walk to a stop. “What the fuck Y/N!” 

“What the fuck me? What the fuck you! What has gotten into you right now JJ what are you doing?” 

“Nothing has gotten into me Y/N I’m simply paying back what I owe.” He states, trying to walk past you. 

“By stealing the money from the drug dealer that just jumped us?” Your brows raise as you interrogate him. 

“He jumped us, he has this coming.” He nonchalantly shrugs his shoulders, succeeding in getting past you, as you stand shocked by his words. 

“JJ you and I both know that you’re not that goddamned stupid.” His steps slow, he stands still. “Stealing money from a drug dealer? JJ I know that you owe money because of Pope but this isn’t right! You’re better than this-” 

“Am I?” He turns on his heels to face you again, this time squaring his shoulders to be purposeful in standing tall over you. Him standing over you made you feel small in comparison to the raging blond. “Am I better than this?” He repeats his question. 

“JJ what are you-” 

“Because I’m starting to think that you, and your high standards, and your perfect life, only think that I am better than this because you want me to be better than this.” 

You knew what he was referring to. You were by no means a kook, but your family was financially stable enough to afford a nice house, you had your own car, and if you wanted, you could afford to go to college on the mainland. Your life was unlike most lives on the cut, but JJ knew that your life was far from perfect. 

“What the hell-” 

“And that if we’re gonna be together,  you need me to be better than this so that I can fit in with your life.” You had no idea what he meant. Your life was on the cut, with the Pouges, with him, and the difference of financial well beings of your familys never changed that before, so why was it now? 

“What the fuck JJ stop-” 

“Well you know what Y/N! I’m not better than this, this is who I am! I get into fights, I steal, I have a criminal record, when I get hit, I hit back this is who I am!” 

“We both know that stealing twenty five thousand dollars from a drug dealer is never going to make anything better.” You attempt to reason with him. “This isn’t hitting back this is loading the gun that's already in your face!” 

“Y/N I have to!” He spits. “I know you could never understand being in so much debt but this is my only option.” His words hit you like a punch to the stomach. He looks down to his boots before continuing. “So I’m sorry that I’m not what you pictured as a boyfriend, but this is what I do Y/N. Maybe you trying to fight it means you deserve better than me.” 

And just like that, it was clear that he was more mad with himself then he was with you. However, everything that he said was uncalled for, and nasty, and he had no right. You watch as he storms away, even more tense than before, and you couldn’t help but wonder how this affects your newfound relationship. You blink away the water from your eyes, and do your best to compose yourself as you slowly wander back to your friends. 

“How much did this cost?” Pope asks. Your head was spinning as he listed all of the things that he had purchased since he left you standing in the woods. 

“Uh, well. With the generator, the petrol, and, oh, hey, express delivery,” You knew the answer before he even had time to speak. “Pretty much all of it, yeah.” 

“All of it?” Pope exclaims. 

“Oh my god” You whisper, mostly to yourself, rubbing your forehead with your palm. 

“Yeah all of it.” 

“You spent all the money in one day?” “Yeah burned a hole right through my pocket.” He confidently explains. “But, I mean like come on guys, look at this!”  The tone in his voice told you that he was holding back, it was alway his biggest tell when he would hold back his feelings. “Finest in jet based massage therapy, that's what they told me.” 

The three of you are left speechless. 

“Kie what? Can’t a man have a little luxury in life?” JJ still could not bring himself to look you in the eyes for more than a moment. “Come on, all this scrimping’ and scraping’” you notice his voice falter again. “I mean like, guys, we, you only live once. Right?” JJ finally locks eyes with you, and he reacts spastically, your dreaded look having the gravest effect on him.  

“Y/N, stop, why are you looking at me like that?” He knew full well, but he was trying too hard not to show it. “I know that you’re mad about earlier okay, but, everything is fine now!” His voice was louder now, concealing the breakdown you knew was coming, sooner or later, here with the three of you or somewhere else. “Enough of this emotional shit. Get in the Cat’s Ass come on.” He smiles, waving you to join him. 

“The what?” Kie furrows her brows. 

“The Cat’s Ass.” JJ smugly replies, proud of himself. “That's what I named her. Oh hey yo, I almost forgot,” JJ leans forward, pressing a button that makes water spray across the tub, and even more colorful lights flash in front of him. “Huh! Yeah that's right, disco mode, thats right baby!” His eyes scan yours, noticing that they were clouding with tears. He quickly looks away from you, not wanting to see the damage that he had done, and was still doing. 

“JJ,” Your voice is low and hushed as you blink back tears. 

“Are you kidding me?” Popes harsh voice overpowers yours, cutting off you and your tears. “You could have paid for restitution!” 

“Or literally given it to any charity” Kie fumes at the sight before her. 

“Guys,” You mutter, wanting them to stop being so hard on the broken boy you secretly called yours. You were mad too, if not more than Pope and Kie due to your argument. However, you could see straight through the smug grins and happy fasad that JJ was trying to project. He was hurting, and you knew it wasn’t just about the fight the two of you shared. 

“Or better yet, you could have helped us buy supplies to get the rest of the gold out of the well!” 

“Guys!” You spoke up louder this time, only to be cut off by JJ. 

“Okay well you know I didn’t do that!” As JJ’s swimsuit clad body surfaces from the hot water, you are confronted with what you knew would be there, and the tears pour from your eyes. “I got a hot tub!” JJ shakes in what appears to be anger, but you know it isn't anger he's reeling from. “For my friends,” 

Kie and Pope gape at JJ’s bruised abdomen and instantly connect the dots as to who is responsible. 

“I bought a hot tub for my friends.” He repeats. “You know what, no, you know what, screw friends. I got a hot tub for my family.” 

“JJ what the hell-” Kie gasps.

“I got this for you! Guys look what I did for you! Alright?” JJ spins and gestures to everything he bought. “Look at this!” When he turns back, he finds that you were no longer holding back the tears your eyes once held. 

“Y/N stop being emotional don’t, don’t cry okay? I know that I hurt you before,” His voice fails him as he recalls the words that he said to you. “But I did this for you,” He hangs his head, he knows how bad he fucked up, and it was hitting him all at once that this was not the way that he needed to make things right. This was not the way back to you, and the high of his twenty five thousand dollar spending spree was dissapating at his realisation, and at the sight of you before him. 

“I mean, it’s sweet right?” JJ hadn't even realized that as he began talking, you had climbed into the hot tub. He looks into your eyes for a moment as you stand before him, and lets out a sob as you gently wrap your arms around him. His forehead falls to your shoulder, and  all of his pent up energy released in the form of tears and heaves. 

“I’m sorry. Baby I’m so sorry.” He whimpers to you, only for you to shush him tenderly. Kie and Pope share a confused glance at the nickname. “I couldn’t do it.” You rub his hair and hold him close as he convulses. “I can’t take it anymore!” JJ wails, your tears land on his shoulders, and his tears land on yours. “I was gonna kill him!” 

Kie is next to join you, jumping into the steaming water and embracing the both of you. Pope follows. 

“I just want to do the right thing.” 

“Shh, JJ, I know. I know” You coo him, trying to calm his weeping. 

After minutes of holding him, Kie announces that she has to head home, and Pope offers to drive her. JJ rests in a nearly catatonic state in your arms, no doubt exhausted and knowing JJ, not ready to face the fact that he just broke down in front of his friends. 

The pair leaves bidding reassuring words to JJ, and a few more hugs. 

You are left in the hot tub, holding the blond boy as he clutches onto you. He wasn’t crying anymore, but his breaths were rapid and heavy as he was shaken, the events of the day had caught up to him in the form of you and your tears. He begins to spew soft “I’m sorry”s and other apologises, but his panic makes him stutter and his sentences start to lack direction. 

You shush him and direct the boy to listen to your heartbeat, trying your best to bring his shattered thoughts back to earth. 

“JJ, we should get out of the hottub.” You tell him, to which he simply sniffles and nods, unsure of how to speak to you after the horrible things he said to you, and his inability to form a proper apology. He knew that you were nothing like he had depicted, yet he said what he said, and there was no taking it back. 

His skin was red from the overheated water, and it itched with chlorine, so as the two of you entered the chateau, you started the shower. 

“You should rinse off the chlorine.” You told him, not sure of how to speak to him either. He followed your order and stripped of his bathing suit. You were able to track down clothes for him to sleep in, and as you waltzed back into the bathroom, you decided you couldn’t leave him alone in the shower.  

Taking off your soaked clothes quickly, you slip into the shower to find JJ standing still under the water. You snake your arms around his torso, careful of the bruises pressing your chest to his back. His hands find yours he holds them tight. You place a kiss on his spine, then rest your head where your lips touched. 

“I’m so sorry” He croaked, his voice was tired, worn out from the day. 

“JJ-” 

“No stop Y/N” He turns around to face you, grabbing your face in his hands. “I’m sorry. I should have never said any of those things about you, none of them were true, it's just that, its,” He stumbles on his words. You rub his back to ground him again, he takes a deep breath. “It's just that you do deserve better than me.” 

“JJ please-” He doesn’t let you continue. 

“No you do, Y/N you do. You deserve so much better than me, than this life, than what I can give you. You don’t deserve some, broken kid that's never getting off the cut, you don’t deserve, to, have to watch as I steal money from drug dealers, you don’t deserve any of the shit that I know that I put you through you just, you deserve better, better than someone who doesn’t come close to deserving you.” 

The tears streaming down both of your faces mix with the water coming from the shower and you have no idea how to make his saddening speech stop. 

“JJ” You sob, he pauses. “You deserve so much more, than what your life has given you. You deserve to be happy, you deserve to be loved JJ, you deserve everything that you want, why can’t you see that?” 

And instantly you feel stupid for asking. JJ’s eyes wander and find the bruises littering his body, answering your question. You stifle another sob as your eyes graze his battered skin. 

“Listen to me.” You demand his attention. “You are not worthless.” His eyes divert from yours as he realises what you’re referring to. “JJ look at me,” After a moment or two, his gaze wearily finds yours. “You are not worthless, you are worthy of love, and affection, and someone who takes care of you, and not only are you worthy but you deserve it too. Do you hear me?” 

JJ swallows thickly, nodding in acceptance of your beautiful words. He embraces you tightly, having no words of his own. No one had ever made him feel like this. No one had ever made him feel worthy of the good that was before him. 

He was hesitant to think that he deserved you. To him, no one was good enough to actually deserve you, especially not him. However your speech made him open to the idea that maybe he was at least worthy of your love. 

Your love. 

You both realised in the same moment that the word was shared between you. You had never shared the faithful declaration of love to each other since you had been together romantically, and yet now you had mentioned love twice in the span of thirty seconds. JJ smiled as he held you. You loved him, and this was one of the ways that you showed it. 

“Let's get the chlorine out of your hair J.” 

He let you massage his scalp with the shampoo that he's seen you use before to get pool chemicals out of your hair. He didn’t really know what it did or how it was different from other shampoos but, it smelled like you and he loved getting his head rubbed. His breathing was still shaky, but he finally felt some of his anxiety from the day wearing off. Fighting with you was something he never wanted to do again. Fighting with his dad was something he knew he would have to do the next time he went home. He elected to ignore those thoughts, as your fingers worked magic on his hair, seemingly drawing all of the negative ideas out of his head along with the chlorine. 

As JJ rinsed his hair of soap, he noticed you reaching for the bottle again, no doubt to wash your own hair. He holds out his hand, wordlessly asking if he could wash your hair for you, like you had done for him. This makes you grin as you hand him the bottle. JJ then realises that he doesn’t really know how to do what you did for him. That kind of small, soft, intimate touching was foreign to him. 

He squeezes way too much shampoo into his hand, but you pay that no mind. He starts slow, trying to remember the way your fingers moved on his scalp, but in the end knowing that he just wasn’t good at giving head massages. 

“I used way too much.” He states, watching as suds continue to produce from your locks.  

“It’s okay.” You hum watching the bubbles disappear down the drain. “I set out clothes for you when you’re ready, I’m probably gonna be another minute” You tell him, referring to the other bottles you had in the shower that you still had to use. 

“Okay, thank you” He kisses you as he exits the shower. You finish up quickly, wanting to be next to him, and hoping that his thoughts as he sits alone don’t carry him away like they had before. 

You find that he left his tee shirt for you, like he had on nights before. You wear the shirt that smelled of him along with a pair of comfortable running shorts and head to the spare bedroom of the chateau that JJ called his most nights. 

You spot JJ sitting at the edge of the bed, waiting for you. You slowly and carefully climb onto his lap, straddling him and holding his head close to your chest. You notice anxiety still radiating off of him. 

“Hey,” You start softly. “It’s okay, everythings okay-” 

“I love you” He states bluntly as he picks up his head from your chest. 

“What?” You stumble, surprised at his outburst. 

“I love you, and I want to be with you, like, publically, or whatever. I wanna tell the Pouges and-” before he starts rambling, you stop him. 

“I love you too JJ.” This pauses him. 

“Say it again.” 

You giggle, but inhale, knowing that he needs to hear it. 

“JJ.” You start. “I love you.” 

He lets out a breath you didn’t realize he was holding, eyes watering for the millionth time. 

“I still don’t think that I deserve this.” He admits, looking into your eyes with his crystal clear blue ones. 

“You do.” You push his hair back from his face. “And I’ll spend the rest of my life showing you that you do.” 

He was hesitant to accept everything that you had said to him that day, but he never doubted that you would give him your all. This was all he needed to know before he allowed himself fully over to you, kissing you with more desperation and love than ever before. 

“I love you so much.” You muttered into his lips, and from that day on, you would say it again and again, as many times as he needed to hear it. A constant reminder to him that he was deserving and worthy of good, of love, and of you.

Taglist:  @maybe-maybanks​  @myrandom-fandomlife​