#god... fuck man!!!! i dont want to fucking do anything now

[multifandomxzion]

Phaindei x Chubby! reader oneshot

Phainon and Mydei are definitely the types who dont care what their partner looks like, if she alittle thick than she alittle thick! Who cares right?

Unfortunately some people care than you realize, including yourself. You started trying to make an intense work out routine for yourself, desperately trying to lose weight, this included jogging through Akenma Market. There were these 2 guys lounging about talking about how they could lift practically anything, 1 of them saw you and stopped you in your tracks.

Guy 1: Hey! Think I could lift you real quick? you dont seem that heavy

you: Uhh, I don- AH!

The guy doesn't even wait around for an answer before practically ripping at your waist trying to pick you up, only to buckle to his knees panting and wheezing, his friend laughing at him

Guy 1: Dont laugh at me! this one is made of bricks! How do you even stand upright when you way the same as the droma's?!

The crowd around you stares, some quietly laughing, some unamused by the 2 "bodybuilders". You were about to run away and cry, humiliated when you heard a voice beyond the crowd.

Phainon Route

Phainon: Do you really think that insulting someone because of your weak capabilities make you any better a man than the rude onlookers of this crowd? Nonsense! I know for a fact that my sweetheart here is not such heavy as you claim, Dont believe me?

Reader: P-phainon you really dont have to- GAH-!

Phainon swoops you up in his arms, holding you in a bridal carry, the onlookers applausing him while the 2 men turn red in the phase

Phainon: Well? Still wanna say that my dear reader is.. "Heavy"? *he spits out with such a smug smile, The 2 men excuse themselves and gallop away, only then does phainon put you down*

Reader: Thank you phai-

Phainon: No more exercise for a week.

Reader: Huh?

Phainon: Im going to make you eat proper and delicious meals so you enjoy yourself, this routine you have currently only stresses you out

Reader: But, phai... im.. ugly like this.. Dont you think?

Phainon: Fuck no! *ahem* excuse my language, but, baby.. My moonlight! You must understand, I love you! I love, every bit of you, frankly I dont want you to lose weight, your perfect with all of these extra essentials, It just means I have more to love! But... I know this is something you want, all I ask is that you atleast let me monitor you

Mydei Route

Mydei: You dare shame our gods by using such foul descriptions against such a divine beauty as them?!

Reader: Mydei?

The crowd goes quiet, fear settling from Mydei's trembling aura

Guy 2: Whoah! M-Mydei??!

Mydei: You wanna repeat what you said now that im closer in earshot? *He says grabbing the first guy*

Guy 1: U-Uh... I uh.. s-said that they weighed as much as a Dromas??

Mydei: Oh really? *with one hand he effortlessly picks up your chubby body and plops you on his shoulders* Or your just too weak to be a real man~ *he smirks triumphantly*

The crowd gasps, then roars into applause, ashamed, the 2 guys run away.

Mydei: You confuse me as to why weight is such a problem. Your fine just as you are *he says finally putting you down*

Reader: Oh yeah? And just how do I benefit you when im so... round?

Mydei: Pillow, for 1~ *He says smugly*

Reader: I.. Shut up.. -//////-

Mydei: If you really are serious about losing weight, atleast let me train you, make sure that your healthy. *His words laced with adoration and genuine love, kissing your forehead tenderly*

Phaindei Route

Mydei: You dare shame our gods by using such foul descriptions against such a divine beauty as them?!

Phainon: Do you really think that insulting someone because of your weak capabilities make you any better a man than the rude onlookers of this crowd? Nonsense!

Reader: G-guys, please, its not that ser-

Mydei: Of course its serious. You are NOT too heavy.

Phainon: I strongly suggest you take back such vulgar words against them, what would our gods think of your behavior?

Guy 1: Why are you 2 so upset about it, if you think you can lift them no prob, YOU TRY IT!

They look at each other, smirks eminent, before Phainon swoops you in a bridal carry, as you try to process the situation your hoisted into the air more as Mydei carries you both on his shoulders, none of them breaking a sweat

Phainon: Ha! Just like old times eh Mydei?

Mydei: heh, seems ive gotten even stronger!

The audiance roars into a screaming applause! And the 2 guys dont dare to look up, silently disappearing with the crowd.

Tribbie: aww! they really love reader!

Castorice: Such a thing is very warming.

[bl00dh0rs3]

it. Is SO fucking hard to stay motivated to keep writing when every other month theres a fucking AI Scare. Where my stupid dumb fucking ass says "you know, this time ill actually jump ship and go somewhere safe with my art!" Only to inevitably lose THOUSANDS OF FUCKING WORDS OF EDITING IT MY FUCKING ***O U T L I N E***, THAT ID GOTTEN TO LOOK S O FUCKING PRETTY AND FLESHED OUT!!!!

[shaadowmilkcookie]

One of Shadow Milk’s many prop replicas of himself, left behind. Even though the eyes are forever staring straight into the distance… Oddly enough, you still feel like you’re being watched.

But surely, though, it won’t hurt to take it home and touch up the colours, right? :)

[tokyoteddywolf]

Not me debating writing an Aventio fic based on a book I really loved... urgh-

I got Aven recently and just finished his arc in Penacony and I am incredibly bored! I wanna write while I have the energy...

Lemme know if I should :p

Basic premise is its based on a book called Written In Red, which I feel absolutely fits Aventurine??? Look at the book first, give it a read, and tell me the main character doesn't remind you of him. I will go feral.

Anyways if you don't, the premise of the book is that the main character, a blood prophet who is also a slave, escapes and runs away from captivity to a town in order to hide and live amongst sentient predators called "Others", basically ancient as fuck monsters that can swap between animal and human forms. Others actually do prey on humans, but it's modern times and they have a begrudging agreement to coexist with humans because they make decent stuff that the Others can't create. The main character ends up living among them and figures out herself, while also teaching the Others some new things. It's actually a nice book in my opinion.

I'd have to reread the book but yeah. That would be the very basic idea. I already have a character list of who is who lmao.

I wouldn't make it a carbon copy of the book though, not with the characters I have in mind, but it would be a similar plot at least. Consider giant wolf Ratio, everybody, that's all I'm giving you.

So...

EDIT: Holy crap that's like 50 people and it hasn't even been a day-

Here you go ya feral bastards jesus-

Warnings for gore, violence, blood, people get torn apart and eaten you have been warned. (Can only be viewed if you have an account)

Enjoy

[ratatatastic]

"Battle of Alberta, right? It was my first game: Calgary, Edmonton. We would play them in the preseason, and you know—trying to make the team I'd always be asking him to fight in preseason, always. I'd be runnin' my mouth—like, tryna fight the biggest, baddest guys, tryna make an impression.

And he would never fight me. He'd always tell me, like If you make the team, I'll fight ya. You don't have to worry about that, but I'm not fightin' ya preseason. And I totally respect it, I'm not gonna chase him down. It is what it is. He's established—I'm looking for my chance.

So I get called up, we're playing Edmonton in Edmonton: Battle of Alberta. [He's] over there on the other side, and it's like the coolest thing ever... you know, the buildup was crazy 'cuz I knew if the opportunity presented itself—if the game went the way I hoped it would, I would get an opportunity to fight him.

I remembered in warmups tryna skate by the redline initially just kind-of gettin' a feel for it—to see if I have to say something or whatever... He's got no bucket on, his big, bald head is glarin' around, he skates by the redline with the biggest smile on his face, and just gives me the biggest wink...

At that moment I knew Okay, he remembers. It's gonna happen at some point.

We were up 1, I think it was 2-1 going into intermission or whatever—Oh, no, I think it was 1-1 and we had just scored so the position I'm like Yeah, I don't know if I can fight him now because we have the momentum and we're winning the game. I don't want to lose a fight, then we lose a game and now I'm, like, never getting a chance again.

You kind-of gotta play the game within the game like [...] there's an opportunity to fight, and there's an opportunities where you shouldn't fight. Things weren't looking good, then they score and now we need a spark. I'm like Fucking perfect.

I just skate by their bench and I'm like It's time, big boy! He jumps out, we line up, and he goes We squarin' up or we goin' right away?

I'm like I'm not fuckin' squarin' up with you right now! We're goin' right away!

Drop em, we go right away, grab each other. I know he's a lefty so he's gonna let go—let's go of my right arm before he throws one. I threw one. Big boy went down, he jumped back up pretty quick. I don't know, I tell people all the time, I'm like I would've been in the league fuckin' 2 years earlier if there was good footage of this fuckin' fight!

For some reason—For some reason, the cameras cut out. I don't know if [he] had his cousins working the cameras or something that night, or if they're in the video room or what happened.

That was my first NHL game.

It's funny 'cuz Chucky was there—Chucky's there and he knows, he saw, he always laugh when I say that I would've been in the league earlier 'cuz he knows how things like that go. You get a little bit of energy and buzz around ya, and then kind-of momentum takes you a little bit further but unfortunate[ly], I missed that opportunity but I don't regret a thing.

[...]

The opportunity was there, I just—unfortunately, for whatever reason, the Hockey Gods said not yet." (Ryan Lomberg reminiscing over his first NHL game/fight) (x)(x) (please go watch the second link to see lombos giant smile as he tells this story jfc)

and other genuinely bonkers things to say about a hockey player in your first fight... like why did this need to be said like that...what

[br1ghtestlight]

me watching episode seventeen of inanimate insanity and Literally saying out loud to myself "this is so sad....."

[silly-lil-scribbles]

me when i cant be someones favorite person all the time forever for no fucking reason: ah i see. hm. okay. i should go abandon everyone and everything and then kill myself

[cator99]

I always get detained at da border because PROFUNC never ended but basically I'm like if a targeted individual didn't even care

[orcelito]

Man, my apartment people texted me to ask if I'd be able to accommodate a 4 pm virtual showing today bc the potential client set up a tour for a different apartment but decided they wanted to look at my unit instead. And I'm just sitting here like uhhhh. Nah lmao. I don't wanna have to do that short notice cleaning. So I told them no

Now I'm wondering what's up with this client tho like. U can't just go touring in all these different units just for funsies... like ppl r still living here... no I don't want u coming in here at such short notice. And I am legally allowed to say no. So yay 👍

[fauvester]

bridgerton s2 was SUCH a clayhoun slay. thots in tags

[opens-up-4-nobody]

The thing about bbc merlin is that the dynamic that's set up between merlin and arthur is so fucking good that I can't even. What can I possibly draw that's gonna encapsulate the feelings between them?

[technikki]

maybe this is me having too much faith in the people calling for the extermination of an entire ethnic group but idk. i feel like the fact that israel has the most powerful settler colony on the fucking planet bending over backwards to defend them from literally every other country should be enough to make at least some zionists realize that they are not the good guys

[siflupe]

⁺ ⛧ ﹒ jurgen leitner ? — ˚ 🕯️  ⌢




“ stupid idiot motherfucking jurgen leitner god damn fool book collecting , dust eating , rat old bastard , shithead , idiot , avatar of the whore - ”

＞＜﹐ uc , lupe , loop﹐🦇

🕯️﹐any / all + 17 + aroaceapl + abro ﹐★

﹑likes - tma , homestuck , lego monkie kid , persona series , drawing , figure skating , fanfiction﹒⟡﹒⤿

⛧ ﹔🥀﹒dislikes - bigots , wasps , needles﹐ıllı

！About you/info - pls save me from the self - inflicted suffering that is called “ drawing my characters reference sheet “﹒🪦

” - biggest clown in the circus , laughed out of town , cowboy motherfucking jurgen leitner ”

[parkercore-69]

guys im so unbelievably normal about him you wouldn’t even understand

[mydr3aminvi0let]

i wear a lot of skirts and pink and whatnot as my style has developed with me & my personality but when one of those age regression girlies latch onto me....i do not like that

[thatdemiboymess]

Uh-oh! Looks like thanks to this James Somerton bs some of us are falling back into using "makes their queerness their whole personality" and "calls themselves a boy/girl as an adult" talking points to demean and mock others for being "gross/cringe queer freaks" again! I'm disappointed - that's not very nice or helpful of us, ya know, and we should stop doing that. I really thought we'd already moved past this, honestly, but I guess some of us just love to take any excuse we can get to be mean to people!