#god. someone. please. him putting out a Lonely Hearts Video and his crush finds it and starts sending him videos

[ficandkaboodle]

*clicks button for a slide projector and the slide that pops up says*

Copia + Those Wackass Video Dating Ads from the 80s

[pineapple-lover-boy]

Can- can I just talk about the Victuuri relationship? Pretty please?

I just…. I’ve never seen a healthy relationship that starts from idolization and a need to get out that has ended in a satisfying way.

Let me elaborate:

We all know that Yuri idolized Victor. It’s why he was so nervous in the beginning and why it took time for them to build on their relationship, he saw Victor as a god.

Victor? He was depressed. He loved the ice so much but he longer found excitement in competitions. He didn’t have any worthy opponents that had a chance of beating him (sorry Chris).

I believe Victor “fell in love” at the banquet. He was attracted to Yuri but, even though he lost, he also saw potential in him. That night was probably the most exciting night for him in a long time. I think he felt genuine affection for Yuri but also saw a way to get out of his predicament.

Then, of course, Yuri didn’t show up the following season (a year had passed before the present timeline). He was most likely annoyed that someone who had gave him excitement didn’t show up. Did he think Yuri had a chance of beating him at first? Probably not. Did he see potential or at least someone he could have fun with during the season? Hell yes!

And then when he saw the video of Yuri skating Stay Close To Me, something that awarded him a gold medal. That’s all he needed. He saw how Yuri not only skated it perfectly but I bet he thought Yuri skated it better. Let’s not forget that emotion is a huge part of skating. If you don’t skate with the passion your supposed to hold for whatever theme you have, your performance can almost seem futile. Victor obviously won because he perfected it but if it was based on how he presented it alone, he would’ve lost. He saw someone worthy of skating an gold medal piece while also having the heart to do it. That’s talent.

Anyways, because of this, their relationship doesn’t hold well in the beginning. He’s passive aggressive towards Yuri because he doesn’t see his own talent and Yuri is just going along for the ride because holy shit it’s Victor fucking Nikiforov.

As they get to know each other and Yuri opens up more (plus Victor getting info on Yuri from the others) Victor starts to see Yuri as an actual person and not someone he can use to project himself onto and then later skate against. And Yuri starts to see him as an actual person too.

I saw on another post talking about how we didn’t see them during the summer and how the end credits of every episode suggest they got to know each other better as both in the credits and in the show they (Yuri) are able to touch each other more. I 100% believe this.

I also believe they might’ve had an argument or two on this topic. It’s not easy to switch from inadvertently seeing someone as anything but a person to an actual person with emotions and feelings. I believe Victor would’ve tried to back away from this subject but Yuri wouldn’t let him. It wasn’t big arguments like in episode 7. It was probably little quarrels that annoyed them both but after having a long conversation they finally started to become more comfortable with each other.

Yuri started letting go of the notion that Victor was a god like creature and Victor saw him as something other than a pawn. Yuri stopped getting as embarrassed with Victor touching him and Victor stopped trying to seduce him as much just so he could see the man from the banquet.

This most definitely leads the way towards a healthier relationship but episode 7 was inevitable. Yuri’s anxiety was at an all time high when he comes out on top. The fact that he needs to stay on top and not mess up is getting to him. As a person with anxiety, it’s pure hell. The thoughts of failing won’t get out of his head and even as he turns off all the monitors he can still hear everything.

Victor takes him away from prying eyes and has no idea what to do. Despite an obvious change that would’ve had to include some emotions from both occurring over the summer, he still has no idea how to help someone in distress.

Then he makes his first mistake. Yuri is visibly shaken by someone’s scores (can’t remember who) and Victor, who is at his wits end, yells at him to stop listening and puts his hands over Yuri’s ears. This tells Yuri how nervous Victor is too and despite knowing that Victor wouldn’t leave him now it shows to him that Victor doesn’t have faith in him (even if he does).

Victor tried to shatter Yuri’s heart. He must’ve expected Yuri to maybe sign heavily but tell him that he’ll do everything in his power to win (probably something that’s happened with him and Yakov). Instead he see’s the consequences of his carelessness. Yuri rightfully lashes out at him and even through all that Victor stills says “should I kiss you?”. Idk what Yuri was thinking but if I were him I would be extremely offended that Victor would try and use me like some doll he can play with and can assume that physical affection and love can fix everything, which was probably what Yuri was thinking.

There’s something off about Yuri and Victor when they emerge but Yuri is surprisingly better now. Cathartic crying can do wonders, kids. There’s also my favorite part of the entire show (couldn’t find a gif):

*head jab* “Hey, fuck you.”

*more head jabs* “Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. I know you don’t like this you unempathetic dicknip.”

*head pat* “You’re forgiven.”

We all know what happens next: Yuri ends his love story with Victor’s signature move and Victor kisses him out of joy and the need to one up him (with love, of course).

I’m gonna get a little sloppy here with the timeline because I have the memory of a female protagonist that needs to go back to work to get something only to accidentally bump into the jerk CEO of which she will develop a toxic relationship for fan service, so forgive me.

Gonna skip ahead to the scene where Yuri tells Victor that he’s leaving skating, and basically Victor too. (At this moment I realized I’ve been spelling Viktor with a c and not a k which is really fucking with my brain but it’s too late to go back). Victor starts crying and realizes just how Yuri felt when he was rejecting him.

I believe Yuri found some light in the situation because of that fact, which Victor was not having. They’ve been closer than ever now. They’ve kissed, they’ve also announced they they’re getting married, so what the hell?!

Yuri, as we know, feels he’s keeping Victor from the ice. Victor, while he misses the ice and wouldn’t mind being competitive again, has found meaning and if he’s going to be Yuri’s coach to stay where he is than so be it.

He wanted to coach Yuri because he wanted a worthy competitor and while he still wants that, what matters most now is his relationship with Yuri. If he stops being Yuri’s coach and Yuri goes off the ice he knows it will be the end. Yuri loves the ice too and I’d bet he’d try to distance himself from Victor as to not feel regret from leaving without actually knowing that he’s doing it.

They’ve grown so much at this point. But that doesn’t mean it’s over. After all they’ve been through Yuri doesn’t realize that consequences of parting from one another. While being too dependent on your spouse isn’t good, it’s what they both need right now. They are what caused the other person to be happy again and while I hate those types of storylines this one executed it perfectly.

I find Victor’s silent plea to Yurio absolutely heartbreaking. He knows it’s bad to put pressure on people but now he’s doing that to a 15 year old boy. He’s putting his relationship and his life into this child’s hands because he knows there’s nothing else he can do.

I do think Yurio had a crush on Yuri but even if he didn’t: Yuri has taught him so much. He, although being an ass most of the time, has really come to love Yuri as family. It’s clear that Yurio was always lonely (Otabek being his first friend and all) but once he came to Japan and lived, truly lived there, he wasn’t lonely anymore.

Yurio wins, Yuri gets silver and all’s well that ends well.

I guess my point of this was to show how well the relationship in YOI was. I could’ve included some more detail on some points but I usually write stuff in one take (it’s very hard to revise without my mind shutting on itself).

I just love how an implicitly toxic relationship can come out so healthy. They don’t do any of that miscommunication bullshit and when they do it’s because the characters don’t know what to do or how to handle something. Like humans do!

They could’ve easily made this the hot famous guy thinks the kawai girl boy is just so adorable and the kawai girl boy is absolutely infatuated with the hot guy. Hijinks ensue which includes the kawai girl boy thinking the hot guy is in love with someone else. She He gets pushed into thinking that she’s he’s more independent in the end and happily ever after for the couple that will divorce in less than five years! Yay!

Seriously, I thought that was what was going to happen but YOI subverted my expectations so much. They are people that grew from their bad mindsets. And you know what? Yuri still has anxiety! Victor is still bad with handling emotions! And that’s ok! We don’t change that quickly. It takes time and hopefully another season.

I’m definitely using this show as a template for healthy relationships. It’s so hard for me to properly write them when I’ve never been in one and I’m not given the chance to see it happen in different environments (when searching it up all I get is “they trust each other. They blame each other. They’re compassionate.” Like ok but can you show me how?)

Yuri!!! On ice…. I love you so much. You have done so much for my mental health and my writing. Thank you.

[sif-the-tsunami]

When you fall apart

But this ain’t my mama’s broken heart. 

Warnings: Yes, all of them. No smut all angst. and no promise of a happy ending. gallows humor, pregnancy loss, infidelity, self medication, spicy language. 

Summary: Sy is a cheating bastard and his wife has had enough. 

Pairing: Syverson, now a Colonel and his long suffering wife Josephine. (marriage is great guys, I promise.)

Just over 3,300 words.

This might not have been what you were expecting @oddsnendsfanfics​

My mother was a genuine Southern debutante, I grew up with pictures of her on the walls with her gorgeous smile and pretty pearl necklaces. Blonde hair and green eyed, she was the most beautiful little slice of American apple pie. Her daddy was the ‘Old Money’ type, and she was his finest accomplishment, she looked, behaved, spoke perfectly. Never once have I heard that woman raise her voice to a man. Hell, I never heard her pass gas in front of anyone for that matter. She is the picture of privilege, she went from her daddy’s house to her sorority house to her husband’s house. Some how, even though she smokes a pack a day, she still looks like she could pass for being forty instead of almost sixty. The last time we saw each other, my friends told me they didn’t know I had an older sister.

Mama married a gentleman who had the good sense to enlist in the military to help support the lifestyle she demanded he provide for her. He was never around much but he gave her a nice house with a lovely front yard, and two little perfect children. He was another one of the old Southern types, I don’t think he ever outright said “I love you, Josephine,” or “I’m proud of you, girl.” Looking back, I don’t think anyone ever did that for him either, so he probably didn’t know how to tell that to me or my brother Theodore. I’m almost sure that he and Mama loved each other once upon a time. Daddy worked hard, he broke his body serving his country, and when he couldn’t do that anymore he broke his own heart trying to please Mama. She must have been disappointed in how her life turned out. She might have had dreams once, when she was younger. I’m pretty sure the last of them were crushed when Daddy died balls deep in the woman who used to perm my Mama’s hair.

Mama played the grieving widow perfectly, not a single person knew that they had been miserable for years. She has worn black out in public ever since. I think the only thing that has really changed is that she has started day drinking now because she’s lonely. I don’t blame her really. She pushed us really hard to be as perfect outwardly as she is, so it is safe to say that she is really disappointed in your truly.

You might be wondering why this all matters, dear reader. However, I find that it is important for you to know this when I tell you I’m remembering this sitting here in the county sheriff’s office, waiting on my Mama to come pick me up because my probably soon to be ex-husband and I got into screaming match, and I may have drunkenly thrown my bottle of tequila at my probably soon to be ex-husband’s head. The details are a little fuzzy at the moment.

“Josephine Syverson, your mother is here to pick you up.” The Sheriff’s deputy starts in his slow drawl, “Now don’t you go pickin’ no fights with your husband. You’re lucky he ain’t pressing charges. Go sleep it off now, Ma’am. I’m sure you two kids will work it out.”

I wait until he can’t see my face to roll my eyes. And low and behold, there she is, my Mama drove four hours to come and pick me up. She’s in a black vintage driving coat, and her hair is covered by a dark gray satin bonnet. It doesn’t matter that it is half past midnight, she is still the beauty queen she has always been. I drank enough Jose Cuervo tonight that my head is still swimming, but I walk with the grace and dignity she taught me.

“Oh my Lord, Josie, what have you done to yourself?” She asks. “Thank you, officers, I’ll get her back on track.”

We make our way out to the car and Mama unlocks the door for me. I slide in and as soon as my butt hits the leather of her seats, I start crying all over again. She gives me the packet of tissues she keeps in her purse then hands a little make-up bag.

“So, what was is this time, Josie, I swear to Lord Jesus that if he laid a hand on you, your brother and I will bury him in the back yard.” She says turning on her Cadillac. “Get cleaned up, you are coming home with me. Maybe James will be smart enough to figure out where you went.”

“Mama?” Who was this woman? She never talks like this.

“Come on, your mama isn’t as dumb as she looks. Although he evidently is.” She lights up a cigarette and offers me one.

“I quit when we started trying… Even after… well… everything, I didn’t start back up.”

She pats my leg. I unzip the bag to find makeup wipes, mascara, face powder and some brick red lipstick. We might not get along all the time but she is a damn life saver. I have black rivers of my own eyeliner and mascara from earlier today streaking my face. I clean myself up as much as I can and then reapply some make-up. “There, now that you are looking better, tell me what happened...”

“Where do you want me to start? I swear this started after his first deployment.”

“Okay, Josie, start there.”

James Syverson is an Army Ranger, I met him after he finished officers school. Because of the nature of military special forces, they deploy more often than most jobs in the military. I understand that they are under a lot of pressure during these deployments and because he is in a position in leadership I opted to give him as much room as he needed. The other officer’s wives informed me that I needed to recalibrate my expectations of what could happen. They warned me that what happens on deployment shouldn’t be held against him when he gets home. And I didn’t, until a girl barely old enough to visit a bar came up to my door asking for my husband with a hand on her belly. She was just as surprised to see me as I was to see her.

“I’m sorry, Ma’am. I just looked up Syverson in the phone book, and I didn’t know he was married.”

“Is it his?”

“Ma’am?”

“I can see that you are pregnant. Is. It. His?”

“I… I don’t know…” She said quietly.

“He is still over there. Do not come here again unless you are requesting a paternity test.” And I slammed the door shut. She did come back for the test results when he came home. Turned out that the baby wasn’t his. Small favors, right?

I never faulted the women who fell in love with him. I knew how special he could make them feel, its how I fell in love with him in the first place. After everything he’s put me through it almost doesn’t matter when it is just the two of us. All I have ever wanted was for it to be just the two of us again, but I don’t know think I can wait for him to retire.

“How many times do you think he’s done it?”

“At least once a deployment. The most recent one saw us at the movies last night. He was holding my hand like nothing had ever happened. When he was coming back from the concession stand, a little redhead stopped him and asked who he was here with. When she saw me, she looked like she saw a ghost. He came back up, handed me my pop, kissed my cheek and wrapped his arm around me. He said ‘I promise you, it is not what it looks like.’ but the bitch and her friend kept looking over their shoulders to peek at us. I saw her texting someone and then his phone vibrated, but he didn’t look at his phone until I wasn’t with him.”

“Jesus, Mary and Joseph.” She lit up again. “And you’ve just been sitting on this, the entire time?”

“Yeah, I learned from the best, Mama. I didn’t want to let you down. You taught me to never let them see me cry.”

“Oh, my baby girl...”

The rest of the night at the movies, I kept it to myself, I’ve had enough. The boiling, seething hatred I was feeling for both of them. I hate that they are always younger than me. I hate that it always makes me like I’m not enough. When I woke up this morning had a beer in the shower. I always save the last one for him, so taking the last one was a big “fuck you” to him. He tried to climb in with me until he saw me drinking in the shower.

“Woman, what are you doing?” He asked. Like he wasn’t the one who introduced me to the idea of a shower beer.

“I’m going to keep drinking ‘til my heart stops hurting, Sy. I don’t know what else to do. But whatever it is that we keep doing, I can’t keep it up anymore. Get out.” I have never denied him, no matter what he wanted. And up until this morning, I had been an amazing wife to him. In the fifteen years of marriage, he has only had to do his own laundry when he was away from home. And even then, he probable conned someone into doing it for him. I have lost almost every friend I have made from relocating so often. I have started and stopped working on my Master’s degree more times than I can count. And now here I am, mid-thirties with none of my own goals accomplished to show for all of the work I have done over the years. If I had opened my mouth, even once, about his indiscretions, he never would have made it to Colonel. Not once have I complained.

After I dried my body off, I walked into the kitchen, naked as the day I was born and grabbed my trusty kitchen sheers. I needed a change. He paused the game he was playing long enough to watch me walk past him with my scissors and the bottle of margaritas.

“Jo, it’s nine in the morning. Being a little dramatic, aren’t we? We going to church today?”

“Why, James? You’ve been yelling ‘Oh my god,’ between some whore’s legs fairly regularly, I’m sure he knows you are a big fan.” I walked away before he could reply, locking the door behind me to our bedroom. He pounded on the door a few times but got the hint that I was not in the mood to be talked to when I turned up Chris LeDoux as loud as I could play it. Then I went to go give myself bangs.

When the music fades, the house is silent. No video games, no football, nothing. I continue to drink from my bottle and the world becomes a little more tolerable. Now, I am not a heavy drinker. Sy teases me all the time about how cheap of a date I am.

“Josephine!” He snaps at me in his soldier voice and I drop the margaritas.

“Jesus fuck, Sy, why you gotta scare me like that.”

“Oh, you are the one getting scared, woman, I have never seen you act like this before.”

“That’s because you ain’t here every time one of your indiscretions comes knocking on the door of my house. Never once have I expected sainthood from you, James, I learned better after your first deployment,” he won’t look me in the eye, either he’s ashamed of what he’s been doing or he is going to punch a whole in the wall tonight. “You would have seen this if you had been around after my daddy died. This is your wife, Syverson, she goes a little crazy from time to time.

“You know how hard I tried to come home for that, that is not fair Josephine.”

“I’m sure you did try. I wish you would try a little harder when it comes to picking out these dumb sluts who think that you are just going to run away from home as soon as you come back from the sandbox. I have received notes on my car windshield telling me that you were going to leave me for them. How you loved them and you were just suffering with me. That I’m hateful, and spiteful, and they could treat you so much better then I ever could. What have you been telling these girls, James, for them to think I am some kind of monster? Haven’t I been a good wife to you? What did I do to you to make you hate me this much?”

“I had no idea that they were doing that. I don’t hate you, baby. You have been a better wife than I probably could have ever deserved. Is that what you want to hear? I know I’m a rotten bastard. How long have you been holding this in, Josie?” His face darkens, I can see all the rage boiling up in him too.

“Don’t you call me that name, you son of a bitch.” I spit at him.

“How long?”

“Since Cassandra came up holding her belly, waiting to tell you that she made you a daddy. Too bad it wasn’t the first time, or I actually might have been worried that you’d leave. I hadn’t even stopped bleeding yet before she tried to take you.” I snarled back at him. And he face drops. Twelve years ago, we tried. I was seven months pregnant when I lost our son. Sy’s squad was wiped out after a night of heavy combat. He barely made it out alive himself. I got a phone call about his injuries and I must have made a deal with the devil himself. I would put up with the womanizing, the long distance, the heartache, just please have him come up to me. I would give anything to save him, I had thought. An hour after I got the call that he had woken up and was safely on a ship in the Mediterranean sea, I started to go into early labor.

“Oh, fuck me. That long?” He whispers. He rubs his face, the stubble was getting long, unless he was out in the field, he kept himself within regulations. He reached out to hold me but I shrug off his touch. He walked away from me, thinking that maybe he might let me calm down and we would go back to being a picture perfect couple again. He could just do whatever he wanted and I will grin and bare it.

I cleaned up the mess I made then went back to the bedroom to put on something on me other than shame. We gave each other space until the evening came around. He came in to ask if I had any plans for dinner. Wrong question, buddy. I walked to the kitchen in my tight black yoga pants and a tank top, went to the liquor cabinet, grabbed my favorite bottle of tequila and took three long gulps.

“That’s my plan, worry about yourself.”

“You haven’t had any real food today, you need to eat something.”

“Eat my ass, Colonel.” With that he pins me to the wall, the room spins around me and I start thrashing against him. He’s got probably 100lbs on me and more combative training than I can remember, so as you can well imagine this is going super great for me. I stop long enough to see the tears forming in his eyes. “Was there ever anything special between us, did you keep any part of yourself just for me?”

“Josephine, you are the only woman I have ever loved. I never even implied that I had any feelings towards them. They knew from the beginning it was simply recreational. Jo, you know you are my best friend.”

“Then why do you keep hurting me? Why am I not enough, Sy? Why do they keep getting you at your best, and I have to put all of your broken pieces back together again when you finally do come home.” Remember every time he woke up screaming the names of his fallen friends. When we have to leave BBQ’s early on the 4th of July because the fireworks remind him of mortar shells.

“You are enough. You are more than enough. I couldn’t have made it this far without you. It has never been anything other than stress relief with them.” The first tear rolls down his cheek. “I love you, Pussycat, now please lets get some food in you. Are you going to be good?”

“Haven’t I always been good. Been good, but not good enough.” I whine and slide down the wall once his hands are off of me. Good lord, where the hell is my dignity. 

He lets me go gently and leaves to make me a peanut butter sandwich. While his back is turned, I grab the bottle one more time and take another long swig. This is where the rest of my night is very fuzzy until I came to in the back of the squad car.

He evidently tried to take the bottle from me, I threw it at him, it went wide and smashed against the wall. He took me to the ground, just tried to keep me from hurting either of us and I screamed at him every vile thing I could think of until the sheriff showed up. They tried to take him in, seeing that I was a sobbing mess on the floor. I told them I tried to hurt him, so they handcuffed me and took me in. Before they drove off, James brought a sweater and my purse out for me. I watched a couple of nosy housewives standing at the end of their drive ways. I’m pretty sure I flipped them the bird and they looked at me with disgust.

Now I’m sitting here, in Mama’s Cadillac, licking my wounds.

“Why in the name of God have you not told me about any of this?” Mama asks, this is now her sixth cigarette. I think she’s trying not to turn the car around.

“I thought you would have told me to get over myself and save face.” I say as we pull to her house.

“No, baby girl, I wouldn’t have. No one, especially not my daughter, deserves to be treated like that. Ooo I never liked the boy. Your daddy used to say that cowboy was all hat and no cattle. Let’s get some sleep, Princess. We will go get your stuff in the morning.”

I make my way to my childhood bedroom and collapse down on the bed. Before I close my eyes for the night, I finally check my phone. He had been blowing up my text messages.

I realize that I have never apologized to you about my short comings. But I swear to you, I will get out of the army if you want me to. We can move anywhere you want to, we can start over, just the two of us. I’m so sorry I hurt you, I’m sorry that you kept this all from me. I’m sorry I made you feel like I didn’t love you. These where from six hours ago.

I don’t know when you will get your phone back, I love you. This was from before my mom collected me.

They told me you have been released from custody but didn’t say to who. Who ever picked you up asked them not to tell me. Are you safe?

I love you. Please. Let me know where you are, I’ll come get you. I hope that you are just ignoring me because you are asleep.

I reply to him with a simple Mama picked me up. Get some sleep. We will talk in the morning.

No ‘I love you’ from me tonight although it killed me not to tell him. Tomorrow, I will figure out if what we have can be saved. But that is tomorrow Josie’s problem.

[themurphyzone]

PatB: Snowball Ep Talk

You know, I really do love the episode Snowball (my personal favorite AKOM episode) but I don’t think I’ve ever talked about it here much, and if I did it’s probably really only because of the flashback sequence. 

Okay so all looks good so far. Chain letter scheme and superstition, a standard introduction to Brain’s latest plot of world domination. All looks good. Plus I just like this shot of Pinky. Don’t mind me, just starting off light here with a smushed Pinky. 

I just like Pinky’s pose here. He’s so cute. 

You will bow before Troz.

“I met a Snowball today! Right here in the lab!” -Pinky

You know, I just find the implications of this line hysterical. This means that Snowball was in the lab that day, waiting for the moment to strike, and he definitely pushed his stolen chain letter through the mail slot. 

And then he lets Pinky see him, and no it’s not just a passing glance either cause Pinky specifically describes a tattoo with an A and a circle and points to his leg. Which means Snowball deliberately lifted the fur on his leg and showed his tattoo to Pinky. 

Like, wow. 

“It means, Pinky, that evil lurks among us. By the name of Snowball! SNOWBALLLLLLLL!” -Brain 

Talk about a bad breakup. *Alexa play Bad Blood*

Personally I think one of the interesting visual cues is that Snowball purposely plants himself into the mice’s space. There’s a lot of that in this episode. He knows how to rile up Brain and hit him where it hurts, namely through Pinky. 

Brain values his personal space, and he values a sense of control. When Snowball invades that space, Brain loses control, and his anger can lead him to make some very ill-informed decisions. Which is exactly what Snowball aims for. 

“You think Pinky is an asset?” 

“Anything I can take from you is an asset.”

Ah yes, Snowball’s mission statement. Crush everything Brain has into dust. 

The flashback sequence. Dear God this flashback sequence. They were both so cute! 

You know, it’s really sad that a younger Brain acted more like Pinky. Making silly faces and trying to get someone to laugh are such Pinky things to do. I know canon is loose but if you consider this flashback taking place shortly after Brain was captured from the wild, then young Brain didn’t gain a grasp on what happened to him until after the gene splicer.  

Ok but Brain was literally right there when the gene splicer exploded. Imagine having your cranium size dramatically increase, you’re injured, you’ve suddenly gained sentience, and as if all that wasn’t enough, you see the gene splicer explode with your only friend inside. 

Oh, and said friend’s mind was probably damaged in the explosion and now he hates your guts. And though you’re angry with him for his betrayal, some part of you will never stop caring about him. 

Once again, Snowball needs to learn to keep his hands to himself. 

This conversation here establishes Snowball as the perfect third character. He appears only in a handful of eps, but he’s fun to watch and love to hate. Snowball challenges the mice’s relationship. Snowball sees the weak points; the insults, the reliance on each other, and twists them to his advantage. And Pinky even admits he’s hurt by Brain’s insults occasionally, though he still loves being around him. 

“Pinky, the Brain doesn’t care about you. He’s just using you.” 

“No, he’s not.”

It’s really interesting to me how Pinky denies Snowball’s statement, yet his ears go down to show that he’s affected by the idea of being used. Pinky and the Brain may be night and day, but one thing they do have in common is their tendency to deny certain things. Brain with emotions and affection and Pinky with concepts he’d rather not admit the possibility of. 

Coming back to this later. 

Non plot related but Brain is teeny tiny and I love how he just trusts Pinky to catch him

Side note: I apologize if any of these screenshots look weird. It’s an AKOM ep. 

WHY ARE YOU TWO SO BAD AT SNEAKING AROUND. 

I just find it hilarious how they clearly run around where Snowball can see and hear them. Like they just shout Snowball’s name in the middle of the room. You’re terrible at being sneaky little mice. Please. 

Those dang boomers and their old timey 90s computers. Technology is ruining boomers. Can’t even hold a conversation anymore cause they keep looking at their screens. 

No touchy! 

Well, it’s awful nice of Snowball to engage in nepotism and offer Brain a position in his administration...and then tempt Pinky with an amusement park when he refuses. 

You really gotta appreciate the complexity of Snowball’s plans. Stealing the chain letter fails->plant seeds of doubt in Pinky’s mind, even if this doesn’t work right off the bat, the idea will still be there-> take over a corporation->impersonate Bill Gates->When the mice show up, offer to co-rule the world on expectations that Brain will refuse->make co-ruler offer to Pinky->wait for Brain to open his big mouth and drive Pinky away. 

All to take everything Brain has. His dignity, Pinky, his meager resources. Like holy Snowball, Batman.  

And then Snowball reveals the amusement park he had specifically built for Pinky. 

And here we have the most heartbreaking line of the ep. If I had the ability video edit I would’ve put the entire line on audio because Brain’s tone is very important here. It’s about 12:38 to 12:57 in the ep if you want to see for yourself. 

“Oh, go ahead, Pinky. I don’t need you. What did you think, I just have you around so I can steal your brilliant ideas and claim them as my own? That I’m just using you, Pinky? Oh yes, I’m using you for your brilliance!” 

First of all, very poor word choice, especially to someone who has trouble understanding sarcasm. I just want to dissect this statement here. 

The Literal Meaning: You’re an idiot to think you were ever more than an assistant. 

This is what Pinky hears. 

But if you listen to Brain’s tone rather than just reading the line, he sounds genuinely hurt that Pinky would ever be tempted by something as frivolous as an amusement park. It’s Pinky, so he just sees ‘ooh fun rides, cotton candy, and carnival games’! 

But Brain is perfectly aware that this is Snowball’s well-crafted method of taking away the only thing he truly has, and he knows it’s working. And he’s hurt. 

The Actual Meaning: Snowball’s trying to separate us and you’re falling for it, Pinky. You may be an idiot, but many of my plans never would’ve come to fruition without you. You’re much more than an assistant. You’re my friend and my world.  

Unfortunately, all Pinky hears is that Brain was only using him. That Brain values him for manual labor and an extra hand only, rather than a treasured companion. The fact that Brain often falls short of making Pinky feel appreciated just adds to this. 

And now that he no longer has Pinky, Brain’s spirit is crushed. Brain is persistent, but without Pinky, he has no reason to be. 

As far as he knows, his only two friends have turned their backs on him and couldn’t care less if he has nowhere else to go. 

Poor thing. He needs hugs. 

“I didn’t think it was possible. Humanity has actually gotten dumber.” -Brain

OK I think this one shot establishes what the world would be like under Snowball. His name is everywhere, and he tells the population to do stupid things just to bask in his own superiority. 

However, I can’t see Brain putting his name on every building so frivolously like this if he ruled the world. Sure, he’d name a bunch of things after himself and Pinky, but it would be more meaningful to them. 

Brain wants humanity to advance, not regress. 

Poor Pinky. Despite all this new extravagance and luxury, he’s also lonely. The room and bed are large, but it lacks personality. He’s sleeping with an ACME Labs snow globe, and other than a reference to Citizen Kane, it also shows that he’s not happy with this. 

The worst thing in the world for these mice is separation from each other. 

Suicide by cat. 

Poor little guy can’t make it on his own. Luckily, he snaps out of it. 

“My world. I must save MY world!” 

Said while looking at a picture of Pinky. Real subtle there Brain. 

“Look, you fool. You have no brilliant ideas. I’m only using you to get at him! So just stay quiet!” -Snowball

“You’re...using me?” -Pinky

He was just a bargaining chip. Never a friend. 

“What do you want?” 

“My friend. And MY world!”

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

He makes martial arts noises like a dork. I love him. 

I love how their characters are reflected in the mecha designs (also I had no idea Snowball was Iron Man!) 

Snowball’s is overall the more efficient design. It’s also much more combat ready and violent. In comparison, Brain’s suit is simply operated with a bunch of levers. It’s alright for peaceful situations like getting around faster or simply blending with a human population, but in a straight up fight the levers take too much time to operate. 

Snowball is more efficient than Brain, and while he’s got the ego, he lacks the insecurities that hold Brain back. His confidence makes him such an effective foe. And more importantly, Snowball doesn’t value Pinky’s companionship. He’s a tool and nothing more. Compare that to Brain. While Brain struggles at showing it, he ultimately wants Pinky’s input and values his jumbo-sized heart. 

Somewhat off topic, but I feel like the reboot missed this aspect of Brain and made him too overly edgy and violent (reboot!Brain would probably prefer Snowball’s mecha design over his counterpart’s). The only time Brain should become violent, if not for comedy, is when he’s protecting Pinky. His plans should have a level of restraint to them, and Pinky is the moral compass.  

I just like this shit-eating grin right here (I mean, he did eat shit in Welcome to the Jungle so...lol)

This is such an insanely clever move for Pinky. I feel like Brain would be like ‘oh my god Pinky!’ and then ‘wow, that’s actually brilliant what the heck is this tingling feeling’. 

ACME LABS IS IN NEW YORK CITY??????

I know this is a case of Where the Hell is Springfield but gdi aren’t they supposed to be in southern California. 

Ok fine I realize the ending to this ep is a reference to North by Northwest cause they somehow got to Mt. Rushmore but still 

Weird tangent but North by Northwest’s ending bothers me (not gonna fault this ep as it’s just a parody)? I’m sorry the girl is barely hanging onto Mt. Rushmore, the dude pulls her up, and then they have sex in a car. The sudden transition always seemed weird to me. 

I am ending this analysis post with a weird shot of Snowball cause i can and it’s his episode. 

[nbrook29]

💞 My ultimate Sobbe fic recs 💞

Recently, I have gone through Robbe/Sander tag on ao3 and I decided to compose a list of fics that are absolute gems for me. A few disclaimers first:

✔ I didn’t include works in progress (WIPs), however I did include fics that are only on tumblr

✔ the order of the fics below is random

✔ this is the list of my personal favorites so if your favorite fic is not on the list it doesn’t mean it’s bad or that I consider it bad - we just vibe with different things :)

✔ if there’s a fic on this list that you decided to give a shot and loved it, please remember about leaving a comment under it to let the author know that

✔ I’ve been trying to add the “read more” thingy but it doesn’t show, I’m sorry, I know long posts are annoying af

under 1k

we’re keeping it simple by noobishere | G

Summary: Sander comes over unannounced and attacks Robbe’s very person (a.k.a the one where Sander teases Robbe on Eenvoud)

This is a guaranteed mood lifter. It’s short, sweet, to the point, and oh so funny. The banter. And I’d die to see that in the show. 

1k - 5k

Fizzy Colas by Foxsake5 | M

Summary: Let’s say this is a clip (hopefully not as short as the standard 1:40 of this season) with Sander as the main on a ‘bros night out’ 🍻

This author is my queen/king alright? They take a simple idea and turn it into the most lovely/cute/soft story. This fic is exactly that. Sobbe’s chemistry here is out of this world and the banter is to die for.

high for this by flowersmaze (@bowieskam) | G

Summary: In which Sander remains a Flirt™ and in love with Robbe even when he can’t feel his face after a medical procedure

The summary says it all. Loopy Sander is the cutest and funniest thing.

Pull Me from the Dark by TheOceanIsMyInkwell (@theoceanismyinkwell) | T

Summary: Sander discovers that Robbe has recently been prescribed antidepressants, and Robbe opens up to him about the night he almost stepped off the bridge. Only love will show how much they’ve grown and pull them through.

This time, the boys talk about Robbe’s mental state which is unusual in fics. This oneshot is communication 101. And this line is just 👌🏻 “But after the dust of their first kiss and their first vows of commitment settled around them, Robbe took a look at the space in which he floated and realized, somewhere along the line, that finding the love of your life doesn’t fix you.”

diminuendo by noobishere

Summary: Waking up feels like an ordeal. His eyes are heavy, arms a dead weight, he isn’t sure if his limbs are even in the right places, but eventually, Sander comes to. (a.k.a a take on how Sander fairs after Robbe left for school.)

Sander’s POV after Dinsdag 7:27. It’s a great insight into his headspace during that time. This could be a scene in the show because it fits so well.

you’re wonder under summer sky by nothingbutniall | M

Summary: Two city boys go camping. What could go wrong? (Everything, apparently.)

Those boys are a chaotic mess okay? They’re such dorks. This fic has the best kind of grumpiness there is and sobbe is written so in character here.

if we can make it through december (maybe we’ll make it through forever) by nothingbutniall | G

Summary: Robbe and Sander at the Christmas market.

Can you imagine those two dorks at the Christmas market? Well you don’t have to anymore because this fic is everything you need and more. And this line “Couldn’t,” Sander sulks. “You can’t hold hands properly with mittens on.” makes me go all gooey inside every.single.time 😍

A New Sunday Feeling by Foxsake5 | M

Summary:  Sander before Robbe: Ugh, Sundays 😒 Sander after Robbe: 😏🥺🥰

The way this author writes sobbe’s intimate moments is just pure talent. They have such way with words.

memories painted with much brighter ink by nothingbutniall | G

Summary: Saint Nicholas is the perfect excuse for an evening of gifts and banter with the flatshare. (Basically all five of them being cute together, and then Robbe and Sander being cute with just the two of them.)

This is the perfect fic for an October evening, when Christmas is just around the corner and you’ve just made yourself a cup of coffee and want to read some heart-warming well-written christmassy fluff. 

5k - 10k

Let’s Dance by msleviss (@sander-driesen) | G

Summary: Robbe and his friends go to a club to check out Amber’s DJ cousin.

THIS PERSON PREDICTED DJ SANDER Y’ALL. And Robbe thirsts over him. And there is an instant connection. And Robbe dances. And it’s so cute.

video phone by tokyometropolis (@luludemauryyy) | E

Summary: AKA OH MY GOD, THEY WERE QUARANTINED…except not together, because life is cruel. Thankfully it’s 2020 and when Robbe has an…er…intense dream about Sander in the middle of the night, all he has to do is press one button and Facetime him about it. Thing is…sometimes FaceTiming isn’t enough.

Look. I get that smut fics are not everyone’s cup of tea. And that’s totally fine. But. If you’re looking for a well-written smut that’s in character and where you can feel the love between the characters, this is it. Hands down. Sorry not sorry 💁🏼‍♀️

10k - 20k

our camp of dreams by robbesanderx (@robbesdriesen) | M

Summary: a summer camp!AU where robbe and sander are both co-counselors

Misunderstandings lead to pining. Teenage angst at its finest. I really like camp stories, it’s my thing.

Falling For You by silver_etoile (@azozzoni) | T

Summary: Robbe only knows one thing about football: that Sander Dreisen is the hottest player on the FC Utrecht team. When Jens drags him to a match, the last thing Robbe expects is to meet someone so perfect, and it’s all he can do not to mess it up, but will he succeed?

Sobbe in a different setting with a bit different dynamic yet still having that special something. It’s a nicely written story of the development of their relationship, first meeting, falling in love, ups and down, all the best things in fics. And Sander as a soccer player is a pretty 🔥 concept (and I think Robbe agrees).

This isn’t our first time around by noobishere | E

Summary: One moment they are in the kitchen of their shared apartment, the next, they’re in this strange but familiar room.(a.k.a the au in which they accidentally go hopping through multiple universes)

The universe takes matters into their own hands and shows those silly boys that they are meant to be. Sign me up for the ride.

Coffee and Croques by peaceoutofthepieces (@peaceoutofthepieces) | G

Summary: Sander works at the on-campus coffee shop with Eliott, and he might just have a crush on the cute boy in the brown coat.

I’m a sucker for coffeshop fics. There is just something so good about them. This one is the coffeshop!AU that sobbe deserves. Oh the pining, and the secretive looks, the silly boys, and a pinch of Elu. Me likey ☕

The finest of the meadow by allforyoumylove | M

Summary: The universe brings two lonely boys together in a flowering meadow. They fall for each other fast and hard among delicate daisies, warm summer breezes, and shooting stars.

This is magical. My comment on the work was “So soft, so beautiful, so THEM, ugh.” and I MEANT that. This is just the right amount of sweetness. This is a must read. I’m not messing around. 

two side of the same coin series by MajorAccent (@acespaceacepilot) | E

Summary: the valleys and mountains of sander’s bpd

How the boys handle Sander’s ups and downs. Robbe being the best boyfriend ever. I love how good he is for Sander, being there for him, not treating him like a baby, and not controlling him. How much he tries to make it at least a little bit easier for him. If you don’t want to read explicit stories, at least give the first part a try since it’s not E rated. 

Zaterdag 9:58 by Foxsake5 | M

Summary: What happened after the croissants dropped to the floor 🥐🤭💕

I meant it when I said Foxsake5 has great way with words. Every single piece of theirs is just “chef’s kiss”. This fic is a definition of a domestic fic. Oh, and it happened. Totally. It’s my headcanon now.

its an unrequited love by eggsntoast | G

Summary: Sander works part-time at a museum every Sunday. Robbe is a frequent visitor.

A Sander POV fic. I was sold from the beginning. The development of their relationship here is so cute, and they’re being so stupid with their pining instead of just talking to each other and you just want to shake them but at the same time you’re rooting for them so hard. Oh and did I mention pining?

20k+

Jij Verliest series by ravenbrenna09 (@djsander) | M

Summary: For the past three months, Robbe’s life—and what it once was—had been stripped away and rearranged. Now, if anything, his life had become a bit repetitive: homework, stream, ignore Thomas’s Instagram, repeat. But one Friday evening, Robbe meets a hurricane in the form of a platinum-haired tattoo artist who just might show him everything that he’s been missing.

This is a long series okay? But oh so worth it. It’s captivating and you don’t want to stop until you finish. And once you finish you’re sad it’s over even though you’ve just spent 8 fucking hours reading it. It’s amazing. But you probably know that because it’s quite popular (rightfully so). The best thing is that you expect it to go bad halfway through because it’s difficult to keep the quality on the same level in a fic that long. But it doesn’t.

Visitations by lucidpantone (@lucidpantone) | E

Summary: Does Robbe and Sander’s relationship survive into adulthood. This fic takes place in two simultaneously timelines: the past and the present.The present occurs in one entire day. Both timelines are completely out of chronological order. Everything is in clips.You can be dropped in at anytime of the day in any timeline. So clip by clip you will need to piece together what happen to Sander & Robbe and why the present looks the way it does and what happened in the past that got them there.This love story is a journey. So be prepared.In the words of one of our Even’s. It’s a complicated love story between complicated people.

This is not a regular fic. The author put so much thought into it, there are so many gems, so many little things that you have to pay attention to because it.all.matters. And there is not one interpretation. Don’t you just love when a story forces you to think and use your brain? Cause I do. Not gonna lie: this story hurts, and like the author says themselves, it’s a journey. But oh my god get in because it’s amazing. And the ending is just sjsjsjsjsddhdhsdsgdsg 🤯

the night we met by themoongirl (@dearsander) | T

Summary: Robbe Ijzermans has a brain that won’t let him sleep, a chest that feels far too heavy and thoughts that never stop.During his first year of college he meets Sander Driesen. Robbe finds what he never went looking for.

A college AU. This fic is a journey of pain and fluff and humor. It has awesome friendships. And sobbe falling in love. And liminal spaces. I read it a while ago so I don’t remember it as well as the others but you know what? I still remember that it was great and I’m lowkey happy I don’t remember it that well because now I can go and read it again. 

The Stars Look Very Different by @peaceoutofthepieces 

Summary: Robbe is bored. He’s bored of listening to his friends talking about girls, and his other friends making out, and no one ever doing anything. He’s tired of having to put in all the work, of making his own fun. He’s tired of feeling nothing so he doesn’t have to feel like nothing. His party stunts are pushing the limit, his thrill seeking beginning to worry even his friends, and his carelessness is toeing the line of dangerous.

He’s a little tired of being ‘dangerous’, too.

Sander may or may not have a crush on the older boy with the apparent death wish. He wouldn’t mind a little danger.

Once I started reading this fic, each day I was waiting for an update at the edge of my seat which was a feeling I expected from s4 that did not deliver. TSLVD definitely delivered. My favorite sobbe social media AU

Ziggy Stardust Series by skamsnake (@skamsnake) | M/E

A collection of fics taking place throughout the season. Most of them are E rated so be aware of that but it’s a really cool mixture of fluff and spice *fans myself*

[bazzledazzled]

Would You Be So Kind (As To Fall In Love With Me)

Fic for @absolute-nightmare for the @coexchange!! 

Description: Simon Snow doesn’t remember quite when he fell in love with Baz. Maybe it was when he first met him, running gracefully across the football field with his hair tied up. Or maybe it was when they were playing video games at a sleepover and Baz’s leg bumped against his, sending a thumping pulse through his heart. Or maybe it was this year, when Baz came out to him and Simon realized he had a chance.

They’ve been friends since the beginning of High School, but Simon longed for something more.

Tags: High School AU, Normal AU, Friends to Lovers, a bit of Punk/Pastel AU

Trigger Warnings: Minor mention of alcohol abuse and emotional abuse in one of the paragraphs

I hope you enjoy!! I decided to go with a bit of a Highschool AU for this one and it evolved into a friends to lovers fic so yeah! Enjoy :)

Read it on AO3 or read it below -> 

Simon Snow and Baz Pitch were polar opposites, anyone could see that.

Anyone who spared a glance at the odd pair knew this, from Baz’s obnoxious floral shirts and well maintained hair, to Simon’s haggard appearance and leather jacket.They fit together like two pieces of a puzzle, complimenting each other, like Persephone and Hades, or yin and yang. Despite everything; who they were, where they came from, and what they looked like, they still were inseparable. They matched.

Simon Snow doesn’t remember quite when he fell in love with Baz. Maybe it was when he first met him, running gracefully across the football field with his hair tied up. Or maybe it was when they were playing video games at a sleepover and Baz’s leg bumped against his, sending a thumping pulse through his heart. Or maybe it was this year, when Baz came out to him and Simon realized he had a chance.

They’ve been friends since the beginning of High School, but Simon longed for something more. He laid awake in bed, staring at the ceiling, his heart thrumming in his chest. He thought of Baz’s inky black hair and thought about what it might feel like to run his fingers through it. He thought about how he always smelled like something citrusy and crisp, like Earl Grey tea that made Simon wish for a soft, domestic morning with him full of soft kisses and morning tea.

And Simon hated it. No, hate wasn’t the strong enough. He loathed it. He loathed it because here was someone who was completely and utterly perfect, someone he actually had a shot with that wouldn’t care that he’s a guy and knows him inside and out, but for some reason Simon kept holding himself back. He held himself back, not daring to test the waters of their friendship and ruin what they had. He didn’t want to lose Baz as a friend, crush or not. He refused.

So Simon kept his crush bottled away deep down inside him, not daring to let it see the sunshine. He thought that maybe, if he tucked it away, he might be able to shake off these feelings. Maybe they would dissipate and he wouldn’t have to worry about it. Maybe it would work.

————

“We need to find Si a girlfriend,” Agatha says at lunch, her face screwed with determination. Simon sighs, putting down the scone he was eating.

“Ags, please tell me you’re not on this again.”

“Oh she totally is,” Penny says, waving a hand dismissively. “And she has a point. You’ve been moping about like a sad puppy lately saying you’re lonely and want a girlfriend.”

“I didn’t say I wanted a girlfriend,” Simon says, stabbing a strawberry with a fork.

“A boyfriend, then,” Penny says, not a hint of a question in her voice. Simon almost chokes.

“Pen. I don’t need a relationship.”

“Then why do you keep moaning about being single?” Agatha says with a condescending tilt in her brow. Simon huffs, averting his gaze.

“Because I want a boyfriend.”

“Aha! I knew it.” Penny grins victoriously. “Now come on. You have to have a crush on someone. Give us some ideas.”

“I don’t like anyone, Pen.”

“What about that one kid? Rhys I think it was?” Simon scrunches his nose.

“Right. Not him. What about Phillipia?”

“Oh god no.”

“Right. Hmm....” A chair beside Simon moves out and a lunch tray plops down on the table as Baz slides in next to him. He’s wearing a pink shirt with red roses on it and dark jeans that make Simon flush. He pushes his hair out of his eyes, a smile on his lips as he looks at Simon. His gaze lands on Penny and he sighs.

“What are you three up to this time?”

“Who says we’re up to something?” Agatha says, leaning over the table with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

“Bunce has that look in her eyes and Snow just looks lost, so obviously you’re hatching an elaborate scheme.”

“We’re trying to find someone for Simon to date,” Penny says, tapping her fingers against the table.

“Ah. Good luck with that. It would take some pretty skilled matchmakers to find someone to date Snow.”

“Hey! I could be a good boyfriend.”

“I have no doubt.” The look in Baz’s eyes is... intense. Simon has no idea how he should read it.

“Hey Baz, you’re gay right?” Agatha pipes in. Baz snorts.

“Does this have a point?”

“I mean, you’re gay and single, Simon’s single and somewhat into dudes.... you know you guys probably could....” Agatha gestured vaguely. Simon’s heart starts to beat out of his chest, a nervous chuckle escaping his lips. His stomach twists dangerously and he feels like he might puke. 

Fuck.

Baz rolls his eyes. “Ok, Wellbelove.” They move on to a new topic, Penny rambling about some book she read and Baz seeming completely invested in the conversation. But one thing sticks in Simon’s mind even after lunch.

Baz didn’t say no.

——————

When Simon gets to Baz’s car after school that day, Simon immediately knows what he’s going to say. It’s obvious in the way his brow scrunches in concern as Simon runs his hands through his messy curls.

“Is your lip bleeding?” Baz says, reaching out his hand towards Simon’s cheek, then pulling it back.

“It’s fine,” Simon mumbles, even though it isn’t. It’s the second time this month this has happened.

“Simon...” Baz says in that soft voice, the one he saves for when it’s just the two of them. He picks up Simon’s hand, running his thumb over Simon’s knuckles that are cracked and bleeding, rough from countless fights. They’re all over stupid things, but Simon can’t seem to stop himself. He can’t just turn away when someone corners him, calling him names. He can’t just keep walking when he sees some kid picking on another kid in the halls. And he definitely can’t stop himself when he hears people throwing homophobic comments about Baz behind his back.

“What happened?” Baz says, looking at him with the same sternness he always uses in these situations. Simon huffs.

“Just some kid. It’s not important.” But it is. Because it wasn’t just some kid. It was some kid gossiping about Baz, saying mean, hurtful things. It was some kid who, when Simon told him to stop, taunted him and called Baz his boyfriend, not realizing that that’s all Simon’s ever wanted. It was some kid who threw the first punch, not realizing that Simon has done this before, and he wasn’t scared.

Baz sighs, squeezing Simon’s hand in his. It makes his heart leap, beating so fast that he wondered if maybe this would be the moment. Maybe he’d confess to Baz, announcing his undying love, and Baz would say he felt the same way too, and then they’d kiss in the school parking lot on the hood of Baz’s expensive car, their future set from here on out.

Baz pulls his hands away, grabbing his keys from his pocket. “Get in the car, you nightmare. We’re going to the mall.” Simon groans.

“Again? You were just there yesterday.”

“Yes but the Christmas present I got for Mordelia is something she already has so I have to return it and get a new one. Please? You know you’re better than me at picking presents for her.”

“Alright, fine. But you’re buying me a pretzel.”

“Fine.”

—————

Christmas break was at the end of the week, and Simon didn’t want it to come. Well, he did, because it would mean a break from the mountains of school work he had, but he also didn’t, because it meant it would be a lot less time with his friends and a lot more time with his father, pretending they weren’t a dysfunctional family.

Simon’s father wasn’t terrible. He never hit him, but he also wasn’t the best. He was drunk a lot of the time and was always yelling about how much of a disappointment Simon was. He didn’t like that he didn’t make the football team and he hated that Simon’s grades were just barely passing. None of Simon’s victories seemed like victories to him, and Simon was just done with it. He wanted to find a way to be away from the house as much as possible during break, but he also knew that his friends had families that they needed to be with for the holidays, too.

Nonetheless, when Simon came home on Friday night to his dad drunk in the living room, mumbling incoherently, he turned right around and called Baz.

Baz picked up on the second ring.

“Hey is everything ok?”

“Do you want to go out for dinner,” Simon says in a rush. Baz coughs.

“Um—“

“I mean— not out— I mean, yes, I just-” Simon huffs. “Can we hang out tonight? I know it's the last minute and all that but I just... I don’t want to go home.” Baz doesn’t hesitate.

“I’ll be at your house in five.”

————

This, in Baz’s opinion, was one of the worst parts of being gay. Yes, there were the homophobes and the bullies and his not at all accepting father, but he could deal with that. He could tune them out until all that was left was white noise.

But this, this was something Baz couldn’t ignore. How was he supposed to handle a crush on his best friend? If he asked Simon out directly, it could backfire on him and he’d ruin the friendship they spent four years building up. But if he didn’t say anything, he obsessed over his crush, picking apart every little detail of his interactions with Simon wondering if maybe, maybe Simon might feel the same towards him.

So when Simon called him at 5pm, asking if he wanted to go out to dinner, Baz was left wondering how to interpret it. It was probably just the same old “I’m lonely and I need someone to hang out with.” But if that were the case, why didn’t Simon call Agatha or Penny? He was much closer to them. Or why not suggest a sleepover with everyone? Or invite everyone to dinner? The more and more they hung out alone, the more Baz drove himself crazy wondering.

Maybe he was blowing it out of proportion, but it still didn’t stop his beating heart as he pulled into Simon’s driveway. Simon climbed in, his curls wild and free and his blue eyes piercing through the darkness. He smiled his warm smile at Baz, a smile that was full of dimples and sunshine and made Baz's heart do belly flops.

“Where to?” Baz asks, putting the car in reverse. Simon’s eyes light up.

“iHop.”

————————

Simon drowned his fifth pancake in maple syrup and butter. He asked for more butter a while ago and they brought him a plate full of the stuff. He slathered it on his golden pancakes, laying down a thick layer of white saturated fat.

It was absolutely disgusting.

When Baz became friends with Simon at the beginning of freshman year, he learned to look away when Simon was eating. He was a little messy and lacked more than a few table manners, but it wasn’t terrible. None of Simon’s eating habits were awful, save for the unholy slathering of butter. Baz didn’t understand it, nor did he want to.

“I think there’s more butter and syrup on that pancake than actual pancake.” Simon swallows his bite, grinning toothily at Baz.

“It’s delicious though.”

“Disgusting.” Yet Baz still couldn’t help but think about how beautiful Simon’s dopey grin was and the way his cheeks turned red.

“You wanna try a bit?” Simon asks, holding up a fork with a bit of pancake on it. Syrup slowly dropped from it, golden brown like Simon’s curls. Baz wrinkled his nose.

“I think I’ll skip on that, thanks.” Simon shrugs, continuing to shovel food in his mouth. Baz ordered some eggs, but Simon ended up eating more of them than he did. Baz never had much of an appetite, but Simon’s seemed never-ending.

“You excited for Christmas?” Simon asks, looking up at Baz with his plain blue eyes. Baz snorts.

“Not particularly, but I’ll get by.” Simon frowns.

“Your dad?” Baz runs a hand through his hair.

“Yeah, but what else is new.” Simon reaches out across the table, taking Baz’s hand in a comforting manner. Baz gulps.

“Guess we both god shitty fathers, huh?” Baz offers a weak smile.

“Guess so.” Simon bites his lip, as if thinking. His eyes spark in the way they do when he gets an idea or is about to make an impulse decision.

“Hey we should try to hang out over break! Get away from family and stuff, you know?” Baz smiles.

“Yeah.” Simon taps his fingers against the wooden table.

“How do you feel about going to see a movie on Monday?”

——————

It’s not a date.

Obviously it’s not a date. There will never be a universe where Simon Snow asks Baz Pitch out on a date other than in Baz’s dreams.

So why was Baz stressing over his outfit for the past hour? He honestly had no idea.

Nothing he tried on seemed to work. Some stuff looked like he was trying too hard, others looked like he wasn’t trying hard enough. It was honestly too much work considering that they were just friends going to see a movie together in the dark where they won’t be able to see each other anyway so theoretically what they wear doesn’t even matter, but Baz was Baz and he had to be extra about everything.

Eventually he settled on a light grey button down and a pair of jeans. It wasn’t one of his best outfits, but it was casual enough for him that it didn’t seem like he was trying too hard. Even though he spent an hour on his hair alone.

The drive over to Simon’s house was shorter than Baz would’ve liked. He didn’t have enough time to organize his thoughts before he was in the driveway, watching as Simon locked the door behind him and bounded down the front steps of his house, his hair bouncing off his forehead. He was wearing a worn grey sweater and  tattered jeans. He looked slightly like a disaster, but that didn’t stop Baz’s heart from pounding. In fact, he found it almost endearing.

That didn’t mean he didn’t make fun of him, though.

“Snow your sweater sleeves have holes in them for god's sake,” Baz says as Simon shuts the car door behind him. Simon smiles back at him.

“It’s comfy though.” Baz rolls his eyes, a hint of a smile on his face. They lapse into a comfortable silence as Baz pulls out of the driveway and onto the street. Simon fiddles with the radio, turning the dial until he finds a song he likes. Some American song starts playing and a guitar solo fills the car. Simon starts to mumble along to the lyrics, bobbing his head and tapping his fingers against his legs. He smiles, getting more and more into it. Baz flashes him a look as he bursts into chorus, singing at the top of his lungs. Baz laughs, shaking his head. The song finishes and Simon grins, his eyes wild and bright.

This goes on for a few more songs, with Simon obviously trying to get Baz to join in on his shenanigans. Baz refuses, but can’t seem to help himself once Bohemian Rhapsody starts playing. Simon’s smile only seems to get more dazzling.

They make it to the movie theater, already buzzing and laughing.  Simon skips ahead of Baz, the sun catching in his bronze curls as he turns to him, almost creating a sort of halo around him.

Their hands brush as they head to the ticket line and Baz wonders if he might be dreaming.

_____________

So Love, Simon may have not been the best movie to go see on Simon’s not-date with Baz. For starters, Baz started crying halfway through.

In retrospect, Simon should’ve expected this outcome, even though he didn’t realize Baz was a crier. The entire plot of the movie is something that resonated with so many people, especially people like Baz and… well, he guesses himself, even though he’s not really sure what he is.

Simon never knows how to deal with someone who’s crying. Back when he used to date Agatha, there would be times where she’d have a breakdown over something and everytime Simon felt like he was making the situation worse instead of helping. He’s not cut out for this.

Tentatively, he reaches out to Baz, taking his hand. They’re rougher and boneier than Simon’s, and a lot longer. He blushes as Baz looks over at him. Baz squeezes his hand and Simon feels his heart stutter in his chest, faltering for a moment as their eyes connect.

They don’t let go for the rest of the movie.

________________

“Pen. I have an issue.”

________________

“Ags….. we have a slight problem.”

_________________

“What is it Si? Is it that math test? I told you you have it down you just need to breathe and remember what we worked on.”

_______________

“Since when do you not have a problem, Baz? You’re literally a bigger Drama Queen than me.”

_______________

“No Pen…. it’s not that it’s just….”

_______________

“This is a real problem, Agatha, listen—“

————————-

“I kind of, maybe, sort of, possibly—“

————————

“I may or may not have—“

______________

“Have a crush on Baz.”

_______________

“Fallen in love with Simon.”

______________

Agatha huffs, hanging up the phone after listening to a 30 minute rant on Baz’s part about how perfect Simon’s hair is and the specific shade of blue his eyes are. Honestly .

Immediately, the phone rings again. Grunting, Agatha picks it up, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“Baz I swear to god if I hear one more word about Simon holding your hand I will end you.”

“So he did call you?”

“Penny!”

“Let me guess. You just got off the phone with Baz and his emo bullshit about how Simon will never love him.”

“How did you know?” Penny sighs.

“Because. I just got off of the phone with Simon and his emo bullshit about how Baz will never see him as anything other than a friend.”

“They’re idiots, aren’t they?”

“Yep.” There’s a moment of silence.

“Are we going to intervene?”

“Of course we are.”

________________

All things considered, Baz knew the love letter was a bad idea. He knew the unspoken rule about love letters: if you weren’t planning on sending them, you shouldn’t write them.

But they were a great way to get out frustrations. It was a way for Baz to use his pent up emotion towards something productive and fantasize about telling Simon how he truly felt.

Simon was never meant to read it.

__________________

Was it wrong? Possibly. Was it needed? Most definitely.

Valentine’s day is this Friday, and both Penny and Agatha are sick and tired of Simon and Baz’s complaining, Simon a lot more than Baz. They just didn’t seem to be able to stop with their lovesick moping and at this point it was ridiculous. Neither of them were courageous enough to make the first move, so it was left to Penny and Agatha to make it happen.

When Agatha saw the love letter, she knew exactly what to do.

___________________

Friday was one of the gloomiest days of the week. It was raining, the sky was cloudy, and Simon woke up late and barely had time to run out to Baz’s car to make it to school. Baz threw a fit about it, but Simon couldn’t see why it mattered, considering they still made it there half an hour before school started. Baz complained about how the rain made his hair frizz up as he desperately tried to slick it back again with no avail. Simon liked it better this way, falling loosely around his face in waves, but he didn’t tell Baz that.  

When they arrived, they found that the halls were decorated with bright red and pink hearts and couples stood close together, whispering things in each other’s ears with smiles on their faces as everyone was swept up into the euphoria of Valentines Day. Boyfriends gave their girlfriends roses and cheesy heart shaped boxes filled with chocolate. The hallways were a mess of teenage hormones and whispers of happily ever afters.

Baz seemed to be in a particularly sour mood today, and Simon didn’t blame him. Valentine’s day was just another one of those made up holidays that encouraged consumerism and made single people feel like shit (at least that’s what Baz had said on multiple occasions).

Simon and Baz did all the things they usually did in the morning before school. They dropped off Baz’s violin in the orchestra room, they dropped the books Baz finished off at the library, and met up with Penny and Agatha. Agatha gave them all heart shaped lollipops and little handwritten cards that made Simon tear up a little and give her a big hug. Baz rolled his eyes, but he had a small smile on his face as he whispered a curt, “thank you” to Agatha.

The bell rang. The overhead speakers played some cheesy love songs from the early 2000s, when love songs were in their prime. Baz rolled his eyes and made some sort of snarky remark about the music that made everyone laugh. They walked to class and parted ways, Simon and Penny heading for their math class and Baz and Agatha going towards English. They listened to the monotonous morning announcements and Penny gave Simon a look when he played on his phone instead of paying attention.

Sighing, Simon pulled out his math textbook, grunting at the weight of it. Most teachers didn’t even issue textbooks to the students, let alone used them. At this point, most of them were out of date and teachers found the internet to be a lot more useful. But not Ms. Ortiz. She refused to use the internet and did everything the old fashioned way: textbooks and a white board. A student tried to talk her into using the smart board, claiming that it would be a lot easier to do notes with, but she refused, saying they didn’t have time to fuss with projectors and calibrations.

Simon opened up his textbook to the section they were currently working on. He already had the page marked since he and Baz were working on it last night. It was honestly a miracle Simon passed any of his classes before Baz came along. He was such a calm and patient teacher, not caring how many times Simon messed up. It’s funny, because Simon thought he would be the opposite, but he wasn’t. It’s no wonder he wanted to get a teaching degree when he got out of high school.

Penny taps Simon’s shoulder.

“What now, Pen?” She holds out a white envelope with his name written on it in neat, elegant cursive.

“This fell out of your bag.” Simon frowns, taking it from her hesitantly. He hasn’t seen it before, but he wouldn’t be surprised if it was some letter from his teacher addressed to his father that he shoved to the bottom of his bookbag. His bag was always a disaster of crumpled papers that Penny and Baz teased him relentlessly for. They insisted he organize it, but Simon didn’t really see the point. It was just going to become a mess again.

“Thanks.” Curiously, Simon unfolds the letter, wondering what it might be. He doesn’t remember receiving it at all, so he has no idea what he should expect.

Immediately, he recognizes Baz’s handwriting:

Simon,

I hate you. I hate the way you make me feel, the way you make my heart beat out of my chest and the way you smile at me in a way that makes me feel special. I hate how you’re always there when I need you and will do everything you can to help someone in need. I hate how you have this stupid hero’s complex where you feel like you need to protect everyone in this goddamn school. I hate how you try to hide your pain from me, putting on a brave face. I want to reach out to you, to comfort you, to let you know that it’s ok and you have people who love and care for you; that you aren’t alone.

I don’t know what even drove us to befriend each other Freshman year. We were from completely different universes, but somehow you chipped away at my walls until they crumbled into nothing, and I hate you for it. I hate what the sight of you does to me and I know you will never feel the same.

Simon Snow, you beautiful disaster. How could you be so cruel to make me fall in love with you?

Penny’s looking up at Simon with a curious glance, acting like she isn’t interested when she very much is. Simon doesn’t say anything, just grins widely as he folds the note back up and sets it under his textbook. Penny raises her eyebrow. It’s a skill Simon knows she’s picked up from Baz, but she refuses to admit it.

“You look like Christmas came early. You feeling alright, Simon?”

“Wonderful.”

___________________

Simon corners Baz in the hallway at the end of the day as he’s heading to his car. He bounds up to him, looking like a ray of sunshine as he smiles brightly. Something has him in an outrageously good mood and Baz has no idea what that could be.

Baz, on the other hand, isn’t feeling as good. His teachers assigned him an outrageous amount of homework and he got a low mark on one of his quizzes, even though he knew the material and studied before the test. Baz Pitch was not one for failure, and he felt very embarrassed when Agatha pointed it out to him.

On top of all that, his guilty pleasure love letter to Simon was missing. He hasn’t seen it in two days and he has no idea where it could be, or if it’s in someone else’s hands. Thank god he didn’t sign it. It’s better if nobody knows about his silly crush on Simon.

“Baz,” Simon breathes, his cheeks dusting with red as he stands in front of Baz, looking up through his wild curls. Baz can barely stop his own blush that rises into his cheeks.

“Snow. Need a ride?” Simon looks around.

“Yeah um….” He runs a hand through his curls. “Yeah.”

They walk out to Baz’s car in silence. Usually, Baz is fine with silence between them. It’s always a comforting silence that doesn’t really have a need to be filled, but something about this silence was different. It was thicker, full of a sort of tension Baz couldn’t quite place. Simon seemed to be anxious about something, as if he were trying to find a way to put it into words.  

Simon Snow is shit with words. He’s gotten better over the years, sure. English class did wonders on him, but he did seem to have a hard time annunciating his feelings in a way Baz could understand. After four years of friendship, Baz is proud to say he can usually interpret Simon’s mutterings, but it wasn’t always like that. Middle school was awful for the both of them and Baz was always frustrated with Simon’s incapability to string together sentences. He was short tempered, and it took him a while to finally give Simon a chance to get out what he needed to say.

So he did the same now. He didn’t say anything, didn’t pressure him, didn’t force him to say anything. He let the silence stretch on, letting Simon fill it on his own terms when he was ready

They climb into the car and just as Baz is about to put it in reverse, Simon puts his hands over Baz’s, stopping him from leaving. Baz looks up at him, grey eyes meeting blue. There’s a moment of tension, then Simon pulls his hands away.

“Baz, I—“ Simon stops, furrowing his brow.

“Go on, Snow.”

“It’s just…. I guess…. I just… Ugh.” Simon pulls at his curls in frustration, his face getting redder by the minute.

“It’s ok. Calm down. Take your time.” Simon takes a deep breath.

“It’s just…. I saw your letter.” Baz freezes, going stiff all over.

“What letter?”

“The one you wrote to me? And slipped into my bag?”

Oh no.

_____________

“Shit.” Baz knocks his head against the steering wheel, groaning.

“Look, Simon I'm sorry I—“

“I feel the same.”

“What?” Simon gulps.

“I… I like you too.” Baz scoffs.

“No you don’t,” he says, leaning back in his seat and brushing his charcoal locks out of his eyes. Simon lays a gentle hand on his arm.

“Yes I do, Baz.” Silence fills the car. Simon feels like he can’t breathe as each moment stretches on, the only audible sounds being their heartbeats and breaths.

“I—“ Simon says, averting his gaze as he coughs awkwardly, seeming very uncomfortable. “I’m sorry, it must’ve been a mistake I—“ suddenly, so quickly it happens between one blink and the next, Baz grabs his shirt and pulls Simon to him, planting a firm kiss on his lips. Almost as quickly as he leaned in, Baz pulls away.

But Simon doesn’t let him. He puts his hands on either side of Baz’s face, kissing him with years of pining and desperation. He feels Baz sigh against his lips, bringing his hands up to rest on Simon’s broad shoulders, not daring to move them. Simon threads his fingers through Baz’s hair, marveling at how soft it is. He feels like he’s floating, his heart beating as fast as it can, on the verge of exploding. He doesn’t really mind though. Because he’s kissing Baz. I’m kissing Baz.

Simon pulls away, a grin on his face. His face is so open in that moment, so vulnerable. Baz feels a small smile that’s unbearably soft pull at his own lips.

“I like this version of you, Baz.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I like it when we aren’t friends.”

“Wow that’s really nice—“

“I wanna be your boyfriend,” Simon says, a wide grin on his face. Baz sucks in a breath, his grey eyes searching Simon’s.

“Yes,” he says breathily. Simon grins and leans in for another kiss.

----

“Welbelove this was your doing, wasn’t it?”

“What ever could you be talking about, my dearest Basilton?” she asks innocently. Baz huffs.

“You stole my letter! And gave it to Simon!”

“Oh that? It sounds more of a Penny plot to me.”

“Wellbelove.”

“Don’t get mad at me, Basil. You got the boy, didn’t you?” Baz can practically hear her wiggling her eyebrows at him over the phone. He’s sitting in his car in Simon’s driveway as Simon walks up to his doorstep. He turns around at the last moment, grinning brightly and waving back at Baz. Baz waves back.

“I hate you more than you even know, Wellbelove.”

“Thought so,” she says, hanging up on him. Baz can’t help the smile that crosses his lips.

[mollymauk-teafleak]

Pathetic

My first fic for the Penumbra Podcast! And it’s angsty self loathing masturbation! Of course!

Please consider leaving a comment on Ao3, it means so much

---

Juno Steel didn’t like the night.

A strange thing for a PI to think, given that so much of his work took place in it, that he made use of it so much when he didn’t want to be seen or when he wanted to snoop around places he shouldn’t be.

Maybe it wasn’t so accurate to say he didn’t like nights. Rather he didn’t like nights where he had nothing to do. When all there was to fill the time was to make futile attempts at sleep he didn’t want to need, wander his lonely, cramped apartment and be alone with his own thoughts. In other words, Juno’s own personal hell.

It was a hot night, oppressively so, close and sticky and typical of a Martian summer. And, also typical, his crappy air conditioner wasn’t working. He’d slammed it with a frustrated fist and cussed it out but the thing had only blinked balefully at him and, as if in retribution, spat out even warmer air.

“Fine,” Juno grumbled to no one in particular and went over to the window, having to wrestle with that too before it deigned to open with an especially nasty, rusty screech.

He didn’t like to have the windows open. It let in the noise, the rabble from down below, the car horns and shouts and shitty music from shitty bars. Juno’s main goal was to always forget, as far as possible, that he was in Hyperion City. And it was damn hard to forget, when your nose was full of it’s exhaust and acrid fumes and your ears were full of two distant people screaming at each other about who even knew what.

But it was marginally cooler with them open. Marginally.

Juno hitched a leg over the windowsill, bare foot hitting the sharp metal of the fire escape that ran the height of the building like a hideously broken spine. He used it to lever himself and find a semi comfortable perch on the sill, slouching against the wall, half in and half out. Not something he could maintain for any length of time but he was in desperate need of air. And the smog the city had to offer would need to suffice.

He was badly underdressed to be dangling out of a window but if anyone wanted to take issue with the fact that he was in full view of any upwardly turning eye wearing nothing but a pair of boxers, they were welcome to. He needed someone to yell at. Something other than his air conditioner, anyway.

Juno let what meagre, damp breeze there was move the curls piled messily on top of his head. His hair was getting long, too long, but getting it cut was such a chore. Rita would do it if he asked though he knew that had the potential to go badly wrong. Five percent chance he came out looking decent, twenty percent chance she dyed his hair pink for the fun of it, seventy five percent chance he lost an ear.

More than Juno needed a haircut, he needed a cigarette. But he was currently experiencing one of his fits of madness that led him to try and quit. He’d be damned before he let this crappy night have that victory too. He had to maintain control where he could, even if his fingers were shaking slightly and he was compulsively bouncing his leg.

Juno ran through his mental list again. No ongoing cases. Nothing interesting in the police transmissions he’d had Rita hack and rewire to his comms ages ago. Nothing spooky or unexplainable in the news. Hell, not even anything good on the video feeds.

In short, nothing to do.

The thought made him sick.

He didn’t do well without some kind of occupation. Feelings he didn’t want to feel and thoughts he didn’t want to think clamoured for every scrap of undivided attention and if they got too much of a grasp then...then he was screwed, basically.

He could already feel the signs coming in, like the symptoms of a slow, degenerative illness. First every breath didn’t feel like enough, like he was actually forgetting how to breathe with each passing second. Then he would start to shake, nerves firing and muscles twitching when he hadn’t asked them to, with nowhere to put the energy they gave out. Other parts would go the opposite way, they’d go numb, his extremities prickling with pins and needles but unable to feel. Sweat would bead uncomfortably under his arms or on his forehead, though that one was already a given with the heat of the night.

And then things would draw in, the walls pressing but also everything far beyond them, all moving in and crunching down like cheap tin, like the whole universe was trying to crush itself into Juno’s heart.

He shook himself, pinching the bridge of his nose hard, muttering, “Stop it, stop it, stop it…”

He was doing exactly what he needed to avoid, wallowing in it. Still muttering, he launched himself back into his dark apartment, staggering when his legs weren’t ready to listen to instructions yet though he managed to catch himself on the windowsill. A few strides took him into the kitchen and within seconds he had his hand around the half empty bottle of bourbon. At least there was that to be said for having a depressingly small apartment. You could never be that far from a drink.

Juno didn’t bother with a glass, feeling the insides of the bottle slosh as he raised it and it carried that momentum straight down his throat. It burned in the best way, molten gold spreading through his chest, helping it expand and stand firm against the pressure of just...everything.

Now he was swaying though it had nothing to do with his legs. Juno tried to do the math in his head, work out how much more he needed to drink to drown his dreams, how to walk the tightrope between the alcohol bringing him blissful oblivion and rendering him unable to get up for work in the morning. But the math was hard so he took another long pull.

Then he was moving, bare feet slapping against the cheap plastic painted up to look like a wooden floor. Then the whole universe tipped on his axis and then he was in bed, the old springs squealing their protest as they took his weight. Devastatingly, the bottle slipped from his grasp as he did and thunked against the floor, the rest of that oblivion he desperately needed glugging sadly into an old shirt of his, staining it probably beyond redemption.

“Ah shit…” Juno cursed, trying to grope for it while doing as little moving as possible, not trusting himself not to slip and spend another night on the floor. That would kill his bad back.

He didn’t find the cool touch of glass under his fingers. He found paper. And he didn’t need to see it to know what it was.

“Oh no, oh no, oh no,” Juno flew onto his knees then, snatching the paper up, not caring if he fell now. His voice sounded so small in the dark, empty space, like a child begging the universe to be kind, “Please, please, please…”

He held it to the one square of sickly yellow light above his bed, coming from a glow lamp outside. It was fine. No bourbon had touched it, the ink was dry and readable as ever, the hand it was written in perfect as when he’d first looked at it. He could still read the name, done in looping, exaggerated cursive. Peter Nureyev.

Juno exhaled a long, shaky sigh of relief, letting his forehead hit the wall, limbs feeling leaden as the last of the panic concentrated there before evaporating away.

Pathetic, he told himself, after everything he did, clinging to his fucking goodbye-I-screwed-you-over note like it’s a god damn safety blanket.

And it was pathetic, he knew that. To have the parting glance of someone who’d stolen so many things from him as an anchor, to keep it and read it over and over again ‘for the case’, like that was fooling anyone. What case? Nureyev had fucked him good and not even in the way Juno had wanted him to. He’d probably never even see him again. What case was there?

But reading the words brought the memory of that cologne back into his nose, the spices from another planet, hell, another universe. They brought back that look he’d given him back at the Kanagawa’s, the look that had made him feel like he could do anything. It brought back the hope he’d been able to nurse for four fucking beautiful hours, that maybe he could have a partner, that he would feel a little less lonely. That someone saw him for more than he was.

It had been a lie, of course, all of it. But the fading memories of a beautiful lie where all Juno had right now.

And he was pathetic enough to cling to them until his fingers bled.

Juno sank down into the pillow again, the letter in his hand, thumb running across the words. He was still thinking about that kiss. One of the best ones he’d ever had, for all it’s brevity and unkept promises. The way Nureyev’s lipstick had left a ghost on his mouth, the way his lips had parted after just the right amount of time, the way Juno had felt him moan, not just heard him, with his fingers resting so lightly at his throat. His sleek black hair had felt just as soft as it looked, under Juno’s other hand, and he’d wanted so badly to see it mussed up out of it’s perfect arrangement.

How would it have happened? Would Nureyev have wanted to keep control, he seemed like being in control. Sure it had been a bitch when you were the guy’s mark but in bed...Juno didn’t think he’d mind. He pictured being pinned under him like a butterfly to a board, having his legs straddle his hips, having those perfectly manicured hands holding his wrists tight enough to leave marks.

Outside of his dream, Juno was straining against the elastic of his boxers. He was hot all over, not just from the weather. Before he knew what he was doing, he’d rolled onto his back and his hand was down between his legs, holding himself through the thin cotton.

Once that was done, it was a simple thing to slip under the fabric and feel his own skin. He was ridiculously hard, when had that happened? Even with the two good swallows of sour whiskey, he was standing straight as soon as he pushed down his boxers, springing free with an action that deserved it’s own goddamn comedy spring sound effect.

Fine… the voice inside him sighed, resigned. It was better than a fucking panic attack.

Juno’s own fingers were rough and clumsy but he was imagining slimmer ones, delicate, with hidden calluses you wouldn’t notice until the contact was this intimate. He was leaking enough pre to reduce any friction though he didn’t mind it a little rough.

Would Nureyev be rough with him? Would he take what he wanted, would it be hard, snapping muscle and tension, a struggle? Juno didn’t know why but he thought- hoped maybe- that it might be sweeter than that. Maybe they could be equals, kissing heavily while their hands fumbled. Nureyev was so slight, it would be so easy to bring him close, to cover his body with Juno’s own. To have them be so tangled that suddenly there’d be no border between them.

The groan tore out of Juno’s chest and he threw his arm over his face to muffle any sounds, the other arm working fast.

But he’d be loud for Nureyev...he’d shout and scream and not give a damn, for once. And Nureyev would look at him as their bodies crashed together, he’d give him that look from before, the one that made Juno feel so, so good.

He came before he wanted to, shuddering and moaning the name under his breath. And then it was all gone, the fantasy shattered. Juno was lying in his own bed, sweating and panting, come sticking to his palm and dripping off his fingers.

Pathetic. It came harsh, like the crack of a whip this time and Juno actually flinched.

He rolled onto his side and curled up small, letting the letter fall from his grasp over the edge of the bed, and tried not to feel the tears in his eyes.

The city continued on outside, blaring loud through his windows, and Juno Steel shut down and hoped he wouldn’t dream.

[http-lostforever]

Love is Fragile

A personal part 2 of “Leaving so soon” by @mellifluousleaf

I really needed a part 2 and I didn’t know if the author was gonna post one so here we go again. 

Word count:6.2k

Warnings: Angst, pretty much just angst, cursing, some sexual content

You didn’t deserve this.

Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to follow Taehyung after he left your shared apartment in such a rush, but the cold tone to his voice and his empty actions seeped through your excitement of them coming home and infected your mind as each minute passed by after he left. It went against your morals, knowing that you should always respect their privacy and that you truly did trust them. Why would you not? They were probably just kept up with creating more songs or ideas for a music video, it wasn’t completely out of the question as you were sure the places they had been must have sparked some creative touch within their minds and they didn’t want to lose such a deep well of motivation. 

It truly warmed your heart just thinking of how hard they work every day and night, their warm and gentle touches as you held each other after a particularly long producing session. The love you carried for them was something that you made the biggest priority within your life along with taking care of anything they needed so it would be easier when they came home after those long days.

Wrapping yourself in the coziest hoodie you had, you followed after Taehyung. Not directly after but you knew the way to the studio by heart after the many times you stopped by with snacks and meals or just to make sure no one was too stressed and needed someone to talk to. It must have been not even 10 minutes since he had originally left the large apartment, giving you time to put away the dishes you had cooked for their arrival.

Your footsteps were quiet as they reached the studio door, music hummed through the room and echoed into the hall making you laugh a bit as they truly must have been working on producing this whole time.

‘Was Y/n asleep?’ Namjoons low voice boomed over the music reaching your ears fairly well as one of them turned the music down.

You slowly rested your head against the door, frosted glass hiding your figure as the hall was dark. A creeping feeling of guilt filled your stomach and twisted it into a tight knot. You should have trust Taehyung more and believed him instead of following him here.

‘Nah, she was up waiting for us, but I just gave her a random excuse and she believed it.’ Taehyung answered.

‘Good thing she’s oblivious.’ Jimin chimed in making your eyebrows furrow and a dull pain begin to spread across your chest in a new overwhelming wave of emotion.

‘Okay beautiful ladies, we have all the time in the world and the night is just beginning.’ Hoseok darkly said.

‘Oh, she wants to meet up again tomorrow. One of y’all can just call her tomorrow and make up a random excuse.’ Taehyung said barely drowning out the whimper coming from a girl inside and the quick hiss of Jungkook.

‘I’ll take care of that tomorrow.’ Jin mumbled, loud enough for others to hear and for you to barely catch it even with your shaking body pressed against the dark glass.

‘At this rate, she’ll never find out about this,’ Yoongi chuckled. ‘Don’t worry princess, you and your friends are gonna have a wonderful time tonight.’ Low groans and moans filled the room as well as the slapping sounds of skin, you slide your trembling body down the wall next to the door, curling your knees into your chest to hide the large tears rolling down your face. Quick fleeting memories of you and the boys cuddling in that very studio flashed before your eyes and caused a low sob to leave your lips.

You didn’t deserve this.

Scrambling to your feet you quickly made your way to exit the building before you gave away your position and truly started crying. Throwing the door open you were hit with the thick smell of rain and the burning of your nose from the cold. Pulling your phone out of your pocket you did the only thing you knew.

‘Hello?’ Jin Jin’s low voice echoed out the other side of the phone as it was thick and laced with sleep.

“J….J….Jin Jin.” You barely made out over each sob that forced itself from your chest.

‘Woahwoahwoahwoah what’s wrong? Are you okay? Where are you? Do I need to come get you?’ He quickly bombarded your sobbing form with questions you were unable to answer.

“Boys….Studio.” You cried out while quickly walking away from the cursed building.

‘I’m on my way, wait at the convenience store down the street.’ His voice was curt and dangerously low as he abruptly ended the call with the jingling of keys in the background. Making your way towards the said store you quickly sat down on the side of the road and hid your face in your hands once again. Stifling the cries that unwantedly escaped your mouth.

It was but 15 minutes before he pulled up to the side of the road and parked, throwing open the door and rushing over to your curled up figure, shivering from the cold and crying. His heart clenched at the sight of your vulnerable and trembling body. He quickly wrapped you up in his muscular arms and forced you to stand, half walking half dragging your body over to the passenger seat then gently set you in, taking the extra measure of buckling the seat belt for you and closing the door before returning to his side and repeating those actions.

“What happened?” He asked gently, putting the car in drive and began to head back to your apartment.

“I….I don’t even know.” Your voice was lower and dull as the reality of the situation began to intoxicate your mind, any lingering feeling of love or caring for those...those bastards was slowly being crushed and replaced with the stuffy feeling of depression and dread.

“What do you mean you don’t know? You wouldn’t call me 2 am crying if nothing happened. ____ you need to tell me what happ-”

“They’re cheating on me,” A lone sob escaped your lips as he quickly pulled over and gave you the most incredulous look.

“Are...Are you sure?” He sputtered out quickly wrapping his large hand around your own for the smallest sense of comfort.

“Yeah, They just came home from tour yesterday and I got everything ready for them. Even cooked each individuals favorite dish,” Your voice was bitter and slowly turning cold, something that was never even experienced before for anyone. “ I waited for them, waited for hours so I could greet them with the biggest hug when they came home for the first time.”

“What happened?” Jin Jin slowly rubbed his thumb over the top of your hand to coax you to go further. He knew it was hard, but any information he was able to get he would be thankful for.

“Taehyung was the only one who came home, grabbing something the giving the bullshit excuse of being called to the studio. You know how much I value trust and privacy, but something seemed off. He didn’t respond to anything, hugs, kisses, nothing. So I went to the studio to make sure everything was okay for myself, I know how much they overwork themselves and I thought that maybe if I could go to them it would help a little.” Each sentence was separated with either a tremble of your lip or a fat crystalline tear running down the smooth irritated skin that had grown that way from so much crying.

“When I got there all I heard was music, and I thought that they truly were working on music and maybe I was the one who did something wrong. I should have trusted them more and maybe Taehyung was just tired and didn’t want to go back to the studio. But….But I was wrong. I was so fucking wrong. They were fucking a group of girls behind my back, and it seems like this isn’t the first time either. They were saying how I was oblivious to it all and god the cynical tone they had when talking about me and how they’d just make a stupid excuse for our meetup tomorrow. Jin Jin….what do I do?”

He was speechless, truly so. Each time he had met the others they held such a caring and blooming love for you. As your best friend he was first informed about your strange relationship with the boys, but he supported you in any way he could as he knew that this is what would make you happy, and that’s all that mattered. But now, now he didn’t even know what to say. The fact that such a caring and sweet person spoke so cold was enough to know the severity of what truly happened.

But as you began to cry once again, his hand resting against your forehead as you curled into yourself on his seat, the only thing he could see was red. Tapping your head you quickly released his hand, allowing him to throw the car in drive and speed of in the direction of your apartment, as you would need the rest of your things because god knows he won’t allow you to stay there anymore.

The elevator ride was silent apart from the soft music and your muffled whimpers and cries. A light ding broke Jin Jin’s attention from you and swiftly wrapped his hand around yours and cleared the space between the elevator and your front door, using your key to throw it open and stomp in.

“What do you need, I’ll grab it for you so we can leave.”

“Just my phone charger and my laptop. My toiletries too please, but that’s it.” He looked at you in confusion and cocked his head.

“What do you want for clothes?”  Your body grew stiff something he immediately took note of.

“I don’t want anything,” You mumbled causing him to request gently for you to speak up.” I don’t want anything that smells like them.”

Nodding in realization Jin Jin made quick work of gathering your things in a suitcase and making his way back to the dark living room. Everything left exactly as it was before you had followed Taehyung half asleep. With one hand carrying your suitcase he made quick work with the other and held your hand to drag you out of the apartment for the last time.

-------------------------------

It was the next day, night to be exact, that the boys had made their way home after repeating the last nights actions once again. Jin had attempted to call you but with a look of confusion written across his face he told the news of you sending him immediately to voicemail, but you must be busy or something. None of them made the effort to ask as the girls had come in once again causing Jin to throw his phone to the side and beckon one of them over with a smirk.

“Jagiiii we’re home!!” Jimin yelled through the apartment as the boys had slowly made their way through the door. Each laughed to the other about the events that had happened not even an hour before, Jin even having the audacity to roll his eyes at Jimin’s entrance knowing it was much different from the obvious lust he had for the girl before while his head was between her thighs.  Taehyung shared a quick look of confusion with Jungkook as no one could hear your small footsteps come running from the other room. Normally when they come home you would be there in seconds with the warmest smile on your face and a hug and kiss for each of them, without fail too. But shrugging his shoulders he made his way towards the fridge and popped open some leftovers.

“Maybe she’s out, huh...she would normally tell us though.” Namjoon mumbled while making his way to his room. Throwing his bag on his bed he made his way over to your room, gently knocking on the door just in case you had been sleeping. But with no answer he pushed it open, your bed look for the most part untouched. Clothes hanging on your rack with shoes and bags below. A small sense of guilt creeped its way into his mind, not enough to change his wants and actions completely, but enough to pull the slightest smile as his saw the bag they had given to you for your third year anniversary.

“I think she’s just out with some friends and forgot to tell us.” He called out to the others, making his way back to his room to put away the contents of his suitcase and prepare for bed.

-------------------------------------------

It was hard to keep track of what was going on, with the constant visits of their pick of girls to the same studio and working on new songs, none of them had realized how much time had passed until Jungkook had brought up the uncomfortable point after dance practice.

“Has anyone talked to ____ lately?” Jungkook asked before gulping down his water and throwing the bottle away.

Taehyung shook his head, giving a quick look to the others as a sense of dread filled the pit of his stomach.  “No, I haven’t even gotten a text back from her, and I haven’t seen her at home either.”

“I’m sure everything’s fine, she can take care of herself it’s not our job to do that for her.” Yoongi replied bluntly before sitting on the ground to catch his breath.

Jimin and Hobi shared a look, it was surprisingly uncomfortable for the two of them not to be able to reach you or even see you as most of your time was spent with them. You normally called them your best friends and swore that they meant the world to you, but even with their lack of caring since they came back from tour, it didn’t settle right for them.

“She’ll call us sometime. Anyway let’s have those three come over again, I swear I can’t get enough of how good their pussies are.” Jin moaned at the thought causing the conversation to switch in seconds as their worry for you dissipated into nothing.

---------------------------------------------

“Jin Jin do you need any help?” You asked the boy as he made dinner, chopping the vegetables with a goofy smile on his face.

“No it’s okay you just sit there and look pretty for me, I need motivation and MJ isn’t here.” He chuckled causing you to give the slightest smile.

It’s been a week since you had temporarily moved in with Astro, the whole group insisting on the first night that you live with them after Jin Jin had relayed the story. It took a few days for you to get out of bed, depression holding you in its claws there was no desire in your body to eat or wake up. Their voices continued to echo through your memories causing the 6th day of pure crying to start again. You were a fraction of the person you were before this happened, still offering to help around the apartment, but every emotion has been bottled up inside of you and hasn’t been released since.

That was the first time Jin Jin had seen you give the smallest sign of a smile within the days you had been living with them. It was hard to swallow his wrath towards the others, as each day that passed by hurt his heart even more as you filed to show any variety of emotions. The day he picked you up you cried in the arms of the group for hours, him barely being able to hold back Rocky as he nearly left the apartment that moment. It was clear to them that you were never going back there as none of those seven demons deserved to see you after what they had done, and what they knew, still doing.

MJ had taken you out the day after to get new clothes and splurge on anything you barely glanced at, anything was worth making you happy as well as you left everything there and needed a new start. Jin Jin had held onto your phone for the first 4 days, allowing you to escape the hell you had been thrown into for just a moment. He had rejected Jin’s call so quickly as it took everything in his body to not answer and rip the man a new one. But that time will come and the group knows it.

You didn’t deserve this.

They all knew that. Everyone in the world knows that. But the seven bastards that had taken your love for granted didn’t and your friends were going to make that crystal clear for them.

------------------------------------------

On the 10th day of you being gone Hobi had called you. The boys hadn’t even given you the slightest of thought within those days, well nothing that passed the occasional wondering of why there was no dinner or if one of the members had seen you while running home to grab condoms once again. But when the dial tone had passed twice he was quickly sent to voicemail, a sick feeling settled itself in his stomach, gnawing at his mind as he tried once again to call you. Sure they were cheating on you behind your back nearly every other night, but Hobi didn’t want anything bad to happen to you. Call it guilt of his infidelity or a sudden flashback of all the time you spent together, but something didn’t seem right. And the smallest most microscopic voice echoed through his head, barely reaching the surface.

You didn’t deserve this.

That night as they all committed their sin once again he watched with dark eyes as Yoongi thrusted into a girl who was sucking Jungkook off. His normal lustful self was tamed by the mere thought of you being gone for such a long time.

“Yo, Hobi what’s wrong man?” Namjoon called out over the loud hiss escaping his lips as a girl slowly sunk down on his length and began to grind herself against him. Another strikingly sexy girl made her way over to Hobi, sitting on his lap and immediately attaching her lips to his chest. It took him a bit to come back to his senses, slowly edging his fingers around the girls clit as she whimpered against him.

“Nothing man, it doesn’t matter.”

----------------------------------------------------------------

3 days later Jungkook had told everyone that you were still ignoring his messages even after him texting you multiple times. He didn’t think it was weird at first, maybe you were ignoring them because of being upset that they spent time at the studio the first night and not with you. But when Taehyung had confirmed that you hadn’t answered his either it sparked a note of curiosity within the group. Even Jin began to yell at how you ignored him multiple times and sent him straight to voicemail. They all laughed it off though, simply putting it to you being over dramatic and it was easier for them since they didn’t have to make more excuses to not come back.

----------------------------------------------------------------

It was a coincidence really, it truly was. You had fallen back into your depression that night and cried soft enough for Eunwoo to hear it as he stood outside your door with the thought of bringing you dinner. They were tired of holding back the burning fire of wrath that hides within them for your sake so they didn’t make the situation worse. But enough was enough, you didn’t deserve to suffer while they all continued to fuck around and sleep with others. You were in so much pain that you didn’t deserve to be in.

And so they decided to take matters into their own hands.

It was a coincidence that they had made their way over to the BTS dorm in hopes of talking to the culprits, loud voices coming from the inside as they were able to catch most of the conversation that was happening within. Jin Jin couldn’t handle it anymore, hearing all of them put away any worry of your wellbeing with such a simple excuse of not having to take care of you was sickening to him and the others. So with a thundering knock Jin Jin had quickly ended the boys laughs into a deadly silence. It was Namjoon who opened the door, a smile on his face as he must have been expecting that it would be you on the other side of the door. But that look quickly diminished as he was met with the hard glares of Jin jin and the others, who pushed past him and made their way into the living room with the rest.

“A hello would be nice?” Namjoon spat at the unwelcome guest but nonetheless closed the door and followed them in.

“You don’t deserve a hello you sick bastard.” Rocky snarled at the man.

“Excuse me?” Jin turned towards Rocky with a hand on his hip, disbelief written on his face at the clear lack of respect in his voice. He glanced towards the other boys in his group and each had the same expression of shock and confusion written across their faces.

“You heard what he said.” Jin Jin replied, taking a step forward so he faced all of your previous boyfriends.

“Well then what do we owe to the pleasure of having you and your group here?” Taehyung spoke up passing Yoongi and clearing the distance between Jin Jin and himself.

“I think you know exactly why we're here, but please, humor us.” MJ sneered.

“We truly don’t know.” Yoongi spat giving the boys across from him a harsh glare.

“You know I admi-” Moonbin began, but it was truly a coincidence. It was a coincidence that you had called Jin Jin that very moment, the cheerful and soft tune playing from his phone as it silenced everyone in the room. Knowing they now had the upper hand, while it definitely wasn’t going to make the situation better, they wanted them to suffer just as much as you had.

Quickly taking his phone out Jin Jin looked into the eyes of each individual male in BTS before answering.

“Hey _____ what’s up?”

A quick gasp could be heard from someone across the room from Jin Jin, it was obvious they were shocked with how they had immediately stiffened their posture along with each pair of eyes glazing over in shock.

“_____?” Someone whispered, it had been almost 2 weeks since BTS had heard or seen you and now this man was standing before them with you on the phone as if it was nothing.

‘I was just wondering where you guys were, I woke up and it was too quiet for you guys to truly be safe. But I also just needed someone to talk to right now.’ The sadness that poured from your mouth at the end had gripped Jin Jin and nearly caused him to cough out loud.  Remembering your words from that night he looked Yoongi in the eyes. She’ll never find out huh?

“Awww _____ you know you can call me whenever you need to. I know how hard it’s been for you these past two weeks. I just want you to know that I’m so glad your finally feeling a bit better,” He kept that cold hard gaze locked with Yoongi, who gave no expression other than uninterested. “Especially after catching those bastards cheating on you, even on the night they came home from tour. You didn’t deserve to hear them speak about you in such a cynical and rude way, and you definitely didn’t deserve to hear them have sex with others and even say you wouldn’t find ou-”

It was the look of realization at what was truly happening in Yoongi’s eyes that made him stop so suddenly. That and the quick hand that shot towards his phone coming from Jimin himself as his face was red and the look of pure terror was covering him. Sanha quickly grabbed Jimin’s arm and held him in place so he couldn’t reach the phone.

“I know how much it hurt you to hear Jimin call you so oblivious, for Jin to say he would make a sorry excuse to seeing the person he promised to love. For Hoseok to not even faze at you being mention and instead continue to fuck another girl, one that wasn’t the girl he promised to be there for. I know it was hard for you to have to sit outside their studio door and listen to Namjoon and Jungkook fuck someone else while you cried your eyes out.”

The boys within BTS had stopped, no one moved besides the heavy breathing that staggered out of their chests. Jin Jin gave a final glance towards Yoongi before looking at Taehyung.

“And I know how much it hurt for you to have made every favorite individual dish for each boy, only to have Taehyung lie straight to your face and run back to the studio. But most of all _____ I understand how much you hurt that night, crying outside that door as Yoongi said you’d never find out, but I guess he was really wrong about that. Wasn’t he?”

‘Yeah it just hurts so much Jin Jin, I trusted them and yet this still happened. I just don’t know what to do or how to feel.’

“Get some rest _____, we’ll stop by in a bit and we can talk more then, I promise.”

After your confirmation he quickly ended the call, sliding the phone back into his pocket before turning back towards the men in front of him. It was silent, the twisted and staggering breaths of BTS barely even audible as they couldn’t grasp the true weight of the situation. The boys within Astro watched the reactions before them, Namjoon hiding his head in his hands, Jin staring at Jin Jin in shock, Hoseok nearly in tears as he slowly slid down the wall he was previously leaning against, Jungkook following Jin’s reaction with wide tear ridden eyes, Jimin barely fought against Sanha as he nearly threw him towards the ground in disgust while sobs racked his form, Taehyung looked at the ground with jaw and fist clenched tightly. But the thing that surprised Jin Jin the most was the stray tear that slid down Yoongi’s face.

“Oblivious, isn’t that what you said Jimin? That it’s a good thing she’s oblivious? And what about you Yoongi?” Jin Jin made his way over to Yoongi, mere inches away from his stiff body that sat upon the leather couch. “She’ll never find out about it huh? Well, look how that turned out for you.”

“Oh stop crying, you don’t deserve to, after all you’re the ones who caused this and you knew she would find out eventually. But that isn’t what you thought huh Taehyung?” MJ sneered towards the younger male while making his way over as well, “Did you ever feel bad? That night when you came home and saw how hard she worked for you, tell me, did you think of her when you were fucking someone else?”

“Of course he wasn’t.” Sanha answered for him while looking at Jimin’s sobbing body at his feet, “None of them were, but here they are crying as if they truly cared for her.”

“WE DO CARE FOR HER!” Jungkook shouted over him while springing up to his feet, tears flying down his red and irritated face. Jin Jin was before him in seconds, sizing up the young boy and quickly getting in his face.

“NO YOU FUCKING DON’T, IF YOU DID THEN YOU WOULDN’T HAVE CHEATED ON HER, SO DON’T LIE YOU BASTARD. You….You only care now that you’ve gotten caught and we all know that. If she didn’t stop by the studio to make sure you were truly okay you all would have continued this until she found out. But no, she had to sit outside your fucking door at 2 am and cry her eyes out while you all fucked some other girls and listen to everything.”

“Just let us talk to her.” Namjoon started before Rocky quickly cut him off.

“Why? So you can give her some sorry ass excuse and hope that she comes running back to your two faced selves? She isn’t something you can just keep around so the house is clean and dinners made. And she most definitely isn’t someone you can just lead on so when you’re lonely, you have a back up. You all are pathetic sorry excuses for people and you deserve every ounce of emotion pain you might get from this. Fuck I don’t even know if you’ll be hurt by her leaving considering you have a line of girls waiting to be fucked. But hell it doesn’t matter to us or her anymore, she took everything she wants from here so anything that's left you can deal with as she’s not coming back.”

----------------------------------------------------------

Even after Astro left no one moved. Jimin continued to cry on the ground while Hoseok was mimicking his actions but curled up against the wall. Even Namjoon began to cry into his hands, but still standing still in the middle of the room was Taehyung. The warm feeling of your arms wrapping around him that night ghosted his waist as he couldn’t fight against the tears that rolled down his cheeks. Memories of the time you had spent with them through the 3 years you had been together were making themselves known, torture each boys mind with the severity of the situation. As each one of them began to cry at the loss of you they realized something.

You didn’t deserve this.

---------------------------------

As time passed you had slowly become more accustomed to living with Astro, they insisted you stay since the company would be helpful with getting over...the others. You were doing better for the most part, well if that meant you were at least eating and leaving the house to get out for a bit then you were doing fantastic. But everyone knew it would take time for you to come out of the fortress you had built so quickly within your mind. Your tone was colder, eyes less glittery than normal, everything was just...not you.

Maybe it was fate that brought you all together in the beginning, there had to be some sort of lesson you had to learn through this experience and the 3 year relationship you held so dearly to your heart. But deep within your mind you knew that not all stories have happy endings, and maybe yours was the same.

But maybe it was fate that you had suddenly stopped to get a coffee at the place you normally went to with the boys. Mask it with the idea of learning not to associating them with everything but fate truly had something else in mind when you had received your coffee only to bump into the broad chest of the person who stood behind you. You had forgotten how sweet his voice was, it caught you off guard for a second as he dragged you outside the shop and alerted the others to all crowd around. But what really caught you off guard was the empty feeling that spread across your body freezing each nerve ending with the bitter icy burn of detest.

“________ is that really you?” Jimin’s light voice was the first one to reach your ears as well as his hands as he quickly cupped your face so you would look in his direction.

“Where have you been?” Taehyung gently caressed your shoulder while the skin underneath grew cold.

“We were so worried ‘bout you jagi.” Namjoon released his grip from your wrist so he could bury his nose in you hair and take a large breath, sighing at the familiar sweet smell.

“Yeah! I tried calling you-”

“Cut the shit.”

It was surprising to everyone, yourself too, at the pure cold tone that slipped your lips as you spoke those words. Throwing each hand off your body and even taking the extra measure to shove Namjoon off and step away from him as he reached for you once again.

“J...Jagi what do you mean?” Hoseok’s voice trembled as he reached slowly for your arms.

“Don’t fucking touch me.” You snarled once again while smacking his hands away. He flinched at your harsh tone as he had never heard you have such a deep wrathful emotion, much less pointed towards him and the others.

“_____ please let’s just sit down and talk. We’ve been together for 3 years and we've worked things out before so we can do it this time too.” Yoongi gently stepped forward so he could speak to you, but was quickly taken aback by the cold chuckle that left your lips. Causing a shiver to crawl up his spine.

“3 years huh? You know I thought the same thing the first few days. Maybe we could work things out and everything could go back to normal-”

“We can still do that, we can learn from this and grow stronger.” Jungkook swiped your hands into his as hope filled his dark doe eyes. A smile grew on his face as it seemed like you were considering their offer, rubbing his thumb against the back of your hand, he was able to get close enough to really get a good look at you. You seemed different than what he remembered but that was given considering all the shit that has gone down in the past month, but he couldn’t help but feel like a schoolboy in love as he looked at you once again.

It was hard to reject their offer, everything in your heart and body wanted you to melt into the arms of your old lovers and bend to their every will but it was the dark crystalline virus that kept your mind apart from your heart. It was almost like an infection, one Jungkook was trying so hard to fight off with his soft touches and words, but he wasn’t the cure. None of them were. And it was because of that, that your body grew cold as the words they whispered on the other side of that door filled your ears once again.

You ripped your hands from Jungkook’s grip, stunning the boy as he stepped back from surprise, and with some unknown force you were able to finally look back at them and muster the coldest, meanest, and detesting glare you could.

“The only thing we can learn from this, is that I can never trust you again.”

“B-but you love us don’t you? You love me. Tell me you love me, us, please.” Jimin panicked and ran his hands through his hair before gripping your wrists tightly.

“Don’t you get it Jimin?” You sneered. His eyes widened at the lack of love and warmth that you usually held or him.

“Get….get what?” His bottom lip trembled and hands began to shake.

“God I swear you’re so oblivious.” If he was shocked before, now he was just downright scared. A sick crushing feeling of guilt clawed its way up his throat as he tried to come up with some excuse. Another sorry excuse.

“_____ what are you saying?” Jin asked trying not to seem uncomfortable with the sudden change in conversation mood.

“What am I saying Seokjin? God you know it must be such a relief to stop having to come up with such shitty excuses all the time, well it must be a relief that I found out so soon. Now you can be with anyone and not have to worry about your girlfriend being all alone at home.”

“No you don’t get to say that. You’re not going to leave this relationship without us talking about it.” Hoseok quickly snapped clearly from fear more than anger.

“I don’t get to leave? Really? I don’t get to leave after I heard you talking shit about me and fucking other girls behind my back? Instead I have to sit down and listen to you make more bullshit excuses that I was too blinded by me love to see through? You all don’t even seem to be remorseful in the slightest bit. You’re not sorry for what you’ve done, you’re sorry for getting caught.” You laughed once again letting the bitter feeling of anger fill your body once again.

“No Jagi please I’m sorry, we’re all sorry, you can’t leave...please, I love you.” Namjoon pleaded and quickly fumbled your hand into his for the last time. They all stood behind him with hopeful and pleading eyes, tears clearly falling from a few. But nothing matters as all you could see was the sinful acts they committed reflect back towards you.

“That’s a tragedy...considering I can no longer love you.”

[tiaragqueen]

Hello there! Could you write an obsessive yandere jungkook (who has an oppa kink) stalking his mechanic crush (that’s younger than him) and wondering what she keeps her so busy whenever he asks to hang out with her and come to find out, she turns out to be a yandere too after placing tracking devices in the majority of his posessions? This doesn’t make any sense tbh T^T

Hidden Blessing

✂ Pairing: Yandere! Jeon Jeongguk x Yandere! Reader

✂ Word Count: 1,7k+

✂ Trigger Warning: Obsessiveness, toxic relationship, stalking, reader being a yandere for the first time

✂ This story is fictional and for amusement only. I don’t believe any of the members would do this in real life. As always, thank you for reading and I hope you have a good day!

Donot re-upload my writing to another website or use it without mypermission.

[Edited]

***

Yandere reader, huh? I’ve certainly never tried this before, but I do think about it once in a while. And also, I don’t know much about mechanical stuffs. So, pardon me if this came out strange and Jungkook wasn’t obsessive enough. I feel a bit tired recently.

If you like mywriting, please support me on ko-fi!

“I want you to want me. I need you to need me. I’d love you to love me. I’m beggin’ you to beg me.” – I Want You To Want Me [Cheap Trick]

[11.25 am] Jungkook: Hi, wanna hang out today? :)

Seen.

[12.10 pm] You: Hey~! Sorry, oppa. I’m busy today. Maybe tomorrow??

Seen.

[12.11 pm] Jungkook: Oh, okay then. Don’t forget to text me, kay? ;)

Seen.

Declined. Again.

Jungkook sucked a breath through his gritted teeth and threw the device in frustration. On to the bed, of course, because he couldn’t afford to break his precious phone. It was the only way he could contact you outside the campus, being a broke college student he was.

It was a hassle, having to text you first just to hang out together. Sometimes he wished he was more than a senior to you – more than someone you occasionally met in a passing – so he could freely visit you anytime he wanted.

But you never thought of him that way, did you?

Sighing, Jungkook plopped on the edge of the bed and rested his forehead against his palms. The urge to ‘claim’ you had never been this strong ever since you started declining his invitations. Jungkook didn’t understand what went on in your life until you couldn’t possibly spare an hour or so to hang out together. Yeah, everyone had their own businesses to deal with, but surely it wouldn’t hurt to spend a bit more time for him? He never asked much besides your company, and now you were too ‘busy’ to do that.

Or maybe he could come to your apartment and pretended to help you with whatever you were working on…?

No, he shook his head. That would be rude of him to show up in your doorstep unannounced. He should’ve waited a little longer. Didn’t you tell him that you would text him again tomorrow? Well, you didn’t since you only saw his message, but that counted as one right?

God, how did a simple hangout could be this complicated? Why couldn’t you just agree to his fucking invitation? Didn’t you know that he couldn’t be away from you for too long?

Jungkook simpered bitterly. Of course, you didn’t. You were too busy to notice that, anyway.

Well, there was no need to stress himself even more. You already promised him that you would hang out tomorrow, and Jungkook planned on keeping that promise.

Tomorrow…

In less than twenty-four hours, he would be able to be with you. Laughing, chatting, eating, touching. All the affectionate things that only lovers could do.

Lovers, not friends.

Boyfriend, not senior.

Jungkook grinned giddily and rested his head on the pillow. Staring up the plain ceiling, he imagined you laying on top of him with that angelic smile of yours. Your hand stroked his cheek tenderly, [e/c] eyes admiring the dark constellation that scattered around his face as he did yours. Then, after you finished marveling at each other, you would slowly lean down. Jungkook closed his eyes, pressing himself further into the bed.

However, instead of the kiss that would take his breath away or make him see the stars, only cold air greeted his lonely lips.

Fluttering his eyes open, Jungkook sighed in disappointment.

When would the day come until those imaginations materialize right in front of his sight like he always dreamed of?

***

You didn’t text.

Jungkook had waited and waited, since this morning, for the anticipated message. Permission from you. However, even after the hours fleeted to noon, his phone still showed your selfie that he secretly saved as his lock screen a few days ago.

Did you forget about your promise? Did you forget about him already? No, you didn’t. You must be doing something and you probably were waiting for the right time to text him.

No, he refused to believe that you forgot about your promise or him. You weren’t that cruel, right?

Then, why did you still haven’t send him a single message? It didn’t matter if it was a curt ‘yes’, Jungkook would still be happy. But apparently, you opted to ignore him instead.

Maybe you didn’t care about him as much as he liked to believe. Maybe it was all just his imagination, yet again. Maybe he had tricked himself into thinking that you cared about him.

Maybe you had been leading him on all along, and he was just too stupid to realize it now.

Gritting his teeth, Jungkook thrashed his room like a madman on the loose. After all the things he had done to gain your attention, after all the money he had spent for you to the point of near poverty, you had the guts to lead him on? What kind of a man did you take him for?!

You were a brave one, he admitted. No, not brave. Bold would be a perfect word to describe your attitude. Jungkook might have fallen head over heels to you, but it didn’t mean he would let himself be made a fool. Especially to some weak, lovely woman.

A glint in the upper corner of his closet caught his attention. It was tiny enough that he would have missed it, but somehow, his senses increased during his mini rampage. Perhaps, it was a sign from the above that his current situation wasn’t a predicament at all. Either way, Jungkook was glad that he noticed that alien thing.

Because he soon discovered that it was, in fact, a camera. And the flickering light indicated that it was on and recording.

Jungkook inspected its shiny appearance, face stony. It seemed brand new, from the looks of it. He was entirely clueless about that fact, but he knew that he should do the thing he had been procrastinating until now.

Cleaning.

Grabbing the cleaning equipment, Jungkook began to clear up the mess that littered around his room whilst searching for other hidden cameras. He found many tracking devices concealed in his bags, hoodies, the back pockets of his pants, and snapbacks. Dark was certainly Jungkook’s favorite color, thus camouflaging those devices that were also dark in color. They were active, as seen from the red lights that flickered intermittently. Aside from that, the stalker must have known that he tended to be careless.

But the question was, who would stalk him? There was nothing remarkable from him. Sure, he had a handsome, boyish face and bunny-like teeth that many people found a charm in. However, he wasn’t the only person who possessed such features. His grades weren’t high enough to attract attention, too. Average enough to pass the tests, yet not enough to be the top-third.

All in all, Jungkook was a normal college student that liked to procrastinate and played video games until late at night. Oh, and a normal guy that had a seemingly unrequited ‘crush’ on his junior.

“I want to be an artisan someday. I just like creating things, you know? Especially electronics devices, such as cameras and the like…”

You. You were his stalker. Oh God, how did this happen? Since when have you been stalking him? He thought you weren’t interested in him. And how did you manage to slip those–

“Glad to know that I’m not the only messy one here, Oppa. Don’t worry, I won’t judge!”

Jungkook’s tensed shoulders slowly slackened as the epiphany dawned on him.

“[Name], I’m gonna go to the bathroom for a bit.”

“Sure! I’ll look around in the meantime. Don’t pee on the floor, ‘kay?”

Happiness erupted within his swelling chest and manifested itself with a smile that became wider in each second. Jungkook didn’t know why he felt this way when he was supposed to be creeped out at the fact that you had stalked him for a month now. But one thing for sure was that his feelings and efforts weren’t waste in vain. In fact, you had been secretly reciprocating them by ‘keeping an eye’ on him.

You had been appointing yourself as his bodyguard, and Jungkook couldn’t be any happier.

What did he do to deserve such an attentive woman like you? He felt like the luckiest guy in the world, even though you both had yet to get married.

But there was no need to rush, now that he knew about your love for him. Jungkook always noticed that despite your playful attitude, you had a difficulty in expressing true feelings. And while he was a little disappointed that he only realized them just a few seconds ago, he understood and appreciated your efforts. Little things were what he cherished the most, although he certainly wouldn’t mind if you showed more forthright and grand gestures.

Whatever suited you better; Jungkook already accepted you as a whole, anyway.

The screen of his phone suddenly lit up, displaying the very name he had been waiting to see. Swiping the green button upwards, he put the phone near his ear. 

“Hello?”

“Oppa! Oh, God. I’m so sorry I forgot to text you!” Your frantic, yet heavenly voice filled his hearing. “I was so busy watching and–”

“I know,” Jungkook beamed, gazing out of the window. The sky was cloudy, and there were already several drops of water against the windowpane. Yet, an inexplicable warmth filled his heart as he listened to your sputtering across the call. “You were watching me, weren’t you?”

“W-what? Of course not! What are you talking about, Oppa?” you tittered and tried to cover up the truth, but Jungkook knew better. Besides, you weren’t very good at lying, anyway.

“Don’t worry, I won’t judge.” He used your own words to see if you were able to catch the hint. “Glad to know that I’m not the only one who works hard here. Thank you, by the way. I was surprised to see that camera inside my closet.”

“Oppa, can we go out?”

You sounded weary, and Jungkook didn’t like it. Not one bit. So, to cheer you up, he decided to say the sentence that you probably wanted him to say.

The three words that he had been yearning to say.

The three words that would change your lives drastically, either for the best or the worst.

For other people, it would certainly be the worst. But for him, it would be best. Because life with you was heaven in itself.

“I love you.”

There was a momentary silence before you replied in a soft voice. The kind of voice whose speaker had already surrendered to their fate, yet couldn’t have it any other way.

Because this was for the better.

“I love you too, Oppa.”

Satisfaction colored the happiness in his smile as he realized that hidden blessings existed in every kind of predicament. He just needed to look deeper and be patient.

For he would reap what he sow.

[queerchoicesblog]

Rooftop Talks (Platinum, F!Raleigh x MC)

Since I noticed so many fics starring M! Raleigh but none with F! Raleigh, here’s my attempt to fill that void. Inspired by the rooftop scene, this is my entry for the prompt “ honesty” of the @choicesjulychallenge hosted by @kinda-iconic !

In short, Raleigh and Rachel (Dorian, MC) grow closer as they make a habit of meeting on the abandoned building’s rooftop to avoid paparazzi and spend with each other. Then one night Rachel has a question for Raleigh...

Prompt: Honesty

Discalimer: mild use of bad words and hispano hablantes over here: I tried to incorporate some occasional Spanish in here - I wanted to incorporate that trait in Raleigh’s character- so please tell me if I messed something up with the language (I took Spanish classes ages ago) or in general and I’ll fix it!

Word Count: 2328

Perma Tag: @brightpinkpeppercorn @melodyofgraves @bhavf @abunchofbadchoices @silverhawkenzie @begging-for-kamilah @kennaxval @strangerofbraidwood @crazypeanat @desiree-0816 @universallypizzataco

F! Raleigh x MC Tag: @hellospunkiebrewster @furiouscloddonutpeanut

________________________

The night of the charity gala none of them would have expected it to happen again but Raleigh and Rachel made a habit to sneak away from the paparazzi and hide on the rooftop to catch some breath. They would chat and flirt, share takeaway food and views and suggestions about each other new songs. Some nights they would even bring their guitars and jam together: most of the times they would end up playing and singing their heart out silly hits of the past or campfire songs only to laugh till their cheeks hurt as if they were teens at a party their parents knew nothing about. Other nights they would be a soundboard for each other, especially Raleigh: she would listen to Rachel's ramblings and second-guessing herself and offer her advice: how to keep the tune on that note, a better rhyme, a few sick moves for her next video...even how to make the right impression during interviews, because Raleigh was a professional, not just her rebel stage persona, and she had been around journalists and paparazzi way more than the new sweet shining star. 

In return, Rachel would suggest new kinder strategies to deal with fame and fans or to call home every once in a while: even if she left when she was fifteen, she must have someone who missed her. The thought made Raleigh smile, but in a good way: it was almost painful to see how genuinely good the Dorian girl was.

"Are you homesick, Rachel?" she inquired to divert the question.

"Hm, not really, no...” she said, stirring her noodles as she considered her answer. "But I've lived with my parents longer than you did. I just wanted to break free and find a place of my own after I got my high school diploma. I mean, I love them but at a certain point in life, your roads need to part, so to speak, right? But you, it was different for you...that's why I asked. I hope I didn't overstep though"   Raleigh shrugged and took a bite of sesame chicken.

"I talked with dad a couple of weeks ago. It was his birthday, mom and the whole family squad set up a party for him. And just so you know, he hates parties. He's a good ol' grumpy fellow"

"Aw cool! I bet he's your number one fan even if maybe he doesn't show it much? I mean, your whole family should be your number one fan!"

"Nah, papi sticks and will always stick with the classics till the end of time and mamita y tìa were and still are -I guess- huge fans of Ricky Martin, el Rey del Pop Latino" Raleigh explained.

She didn't realize until the day after that she couldn't remember the last time she had talked about her family with someone. Everyone always asked her about future plans, career path, tips maybe, but private life? Never. Unless it meant asking out on dates, heavy flirting or scandalous gossips about a former lover. Only Rachel asked her about the life she had left behind in Puerto Rico and everybody had long lost interest in.

"You don't strike me as a fan of Ricky Martin" Dorian chuckled.

The R&B singer flashed her a wide grin.

"Not exactly, but thanks to them I can make quite a good impression of him. Wanna see it?"

"Is that even a question? Of course!"

Raleigh laughed and reached for her phone as the new star put down her empty food box and shifted to sit more comfortably. She scrolled down a YouTube playlist then her eyes met Rachel's again.

"You ready?"

As the young woman nodded she pressed play and ran her hand through her hair and produced her best puppy dog eyes, making Rachel laugh. She put down her phone and walked backward theatrically opening her arms.

Un, dos, tres Un pasito pa'lante María Un, dos, tres Un pasito pa' atrás

Then as the tune became more upbeat she produced herself in a complicated yet effortlessly fluid sequence of hands clapping, swirling and hips swaying. Latin Pop may have not been her favorite genre but damn, she owned the choreography just as she owned the stage during her shows.

Así es María Blanca como el día

She sang quickly stroking Rachel's cheek with one finger before spinning and turning away.

Pero es veneno si te quieres enamorar Así es María Tan caliente y fría Que si te la bebes de seguro te va a matar

After striking a dramatic pose, she winked just before bursting into laughter.

"Oh my God! That was everything, Raleigh!" Rachel enthusiastically applauded.

"Muchas gracias, nena" she said ruffling her hair and taking her seat beside her.

"Now I'm living to see a Ricky Martin and Raleigh Carrera duet"

Raleigh looked at her and snorted.

"I don't see it happening but paradoxically my team might love the idea so never say it out loud when they're around. Never!"

"A girl can dream, right?" Rachel shrugged and giggled.

All of a sudden way less bubbly considerations crossed her mind and she lost in her own train of thoughts. A girl can dream...she had repeated those few words in her head so many times lately. Every time Raleigh absentmindedly stroked her arms on a fake date, every time she caught her looking at her from afar, every time they kissed.

Then the night of the gala happened. When the two of them sneaked away and hopped on Raleigh's motorbike. She still remembered the cool breeze of the night caressing her skin as she held herself to her "girlfriend". That was a moment of rare perfection: the two of them finally alone and careless, the adrenaline of the ride, the warmth of "the R&B time bomb"'s body pressed against her. When they arrived on the rooftop and she admired the breathing view of New York skyline, her head almost started spinning, just like when Raleigh twirled her in her arms on the gala dance floor.

But what made her heart skip a beat was hearing Raleigh talking about that place, sharing memories of her past, when her teen self felt lost and lonely in the big city...and her project to turn the abandoned building into a community center for kids.

"You make me feel like I want to tell you things. I don't know why" Raleigh confessed that night.

That was when a familiar warmth settled into Rachel's chest. The same feeling she experienced when her high school crush caught her singing to herself in the auditorium and told her that she sounded like an angel and stopped to chat. She didn't ask her out before leaving - Rachel Dorian life had never been a romcom so far- but the little casual talk stole her younger self's breath away.

Rachel instinctively knew that Raleigh never shared that with anyone else. It was just her tone, the way she said it. And she couldn't remember a single interview or tweet mentioning it. So...Raleigh's walls were crumbling down? You don't share secrets, very private secrets with anyone!

Maybe I was just being paranoid as my usual...maybe I didn't misread the signs, she thought as Raleigh not only accepted but enthusiastically returned the kiss that followed. And took her to the railing, her lips never leaving hers or her neck.

But later...

Raleigh suddenly making a loud noise with her soda breaking her train of thoughts.

"Earth to Rachel"

Avery's protege turned to see her looking at her with a slightly amused grin on her face as she played with the straw.

"Sorry, I spaced out" Rachel smiled shyly, avoiding eye contact.

"No biggie. Just glad we're on the same planet again"

Rachel looked at her sideways: Raleigh was happily humming one of her latest songs. She seemed to be in a good mood, she always was in a good mood when she was on that rooftop. Or so Rachel could tell by what she saw over the past few weeks. Which lead her to summon up her courage and ask her a question that had been troubling her for a while.

"Why did you bring me here the night of the gala?"

Raleigh was probably caught off guard by that but concealed it well. She shrugged again and leaned down on the carpet, propping herself up on one elbow.

"I told you, I had to take a break from those stupid fraud activists and this is where I go to catch my breath. We were at the gala together so it made sense to ask you to join. Lie to me and tell me you don't like it here" she said, flashing her signature grin.

"Of course I do" Rachel gave a quick smile.

Maybe that's the problem. I like it here, when it's just the two of us, no one else in sight...probably I like it too much.

But this conversation was going nowhere. So she sighed and spoke again, hoping to find answers and hopefully reassurance:

"Our time is ticking out, right?"

When Raleigh looked up to her, the usual cheerfulness of Rachel had been replaced by what looked like...melancholy?

"What? It's barely midnight, the night is still young, Rachel!" she joked to clear the mood.

Then she gave another grin and reached to playfully bump the other girl's arm.

"I have a bad reputation in case you haven't noticed. You should know that I'm not the kind of girlfriend who respects nor gives a damn about curfews."

But Rachel didn't play along this time.

"That's not what I meant" she said as her eyes met Raleigh's again.

The Puerto Rican singer knew what she meant. The big issue that had been lingering between them for a while and that was written all over Rachel tired face. She felt a pang of pain at the thought of it and she decided to conceal it as she always did.

"Oh well who knows, Rachel? I haven't spoken to my PR manager about it on our last meeting"

But the other woman didn't seem satisfied with that brief explanation.

Raleigh grimaced and sat up. It actually hurt more than she thought. She reached for Rachel's hand.

"Hey, we both knew the deal. Start a fake relationship and get a career and reputation boost"

"It's all it is, huh?"

The Dorian girl looked at her with painful expectancy. Gosh, I knew this is what we would get out of this, Raleigh thought.

"Well, yes and no. I mean, I like you, Rachel, I'm glad we got closer. You're shockingly pleasant to have around, rising star. And you've been...well yeah so far you're the best fake girlfriend ever, seriously. I hope we will still be friends when this...you know..."

"Yeah, sure"

Rachel diverted her eyes as her chest tightened. She misread the signals, shit. She kept fantasizing and being oblivious of their current situation...but she couldn't blame Raleigh for it. That night, their first night on the rooftop, when the kisses grew hungry on the railing, the Puerto Rican star too soon parted and told her to follow her, she wanted to go on another ride on her bike. Rachel reached for her.

"We don't have to stop, you know..." she noted, gently stroking her hip.

"What? Too scared to admit you might be catching feelings?" she teased, since the other woman just stared at her in silence.

"Whoa, there. Let's not get crazy. I'm a seasoned professional" Raleigh interrupted her, walking backward.

What a stupid I am! What was I thinking? That she, Raleigh Carrera, might fall for me?, Rachel grimace, her face hidden from the R&B star's view. Your life is not a romcom, Dorian, and you have embarrassed yourself already. God, that night she might have...she totally thought I was taking advantage of the situation? Oh shit shit shit!

Her phone beeped. She picked it up as a deep blush spread on her face: Low battery warning.

"Rachel, are you okay?"

The girl didn't turn but she felt the weight of Raleigh's concerned gaze over her.

"Yeah, I'm good...I just-I just forgot that I have a meeting with Avery early tomorrow. Very early. Like dawn"

"Why so early?" Raleigh gave her a quizzical look.

"Oh it's Fiona's doing actually" she said as she stood in a swift motion and gathered up her belongings. "She just want to introduce us to some yoga routine or something like that. She said it stimulates creativity... the point is I gotta go. I'm sorry"

She gave a quick apologetic smile and moved towards the staircases.

"Oh, okay" Raleigh was visibly confused by the sudden change in her "girlfriend". "Do you want me to give yo-"

"No no, I know the way! I'll call a cab!"

Before she opened the metal door leading downstairs, Raleigh spoke again.

"You sure, you're okay though? Did I say something wrong? About the-"

Rachel stopped and slightly turned her head.

"No, of course not. It's just...my silly little head that keeps forgetting things. How things go. Buenas noches, Raleigh"

That said she speed up down the stairs and only the echo of the door resounded on the rooftop, "their place", before the other woman could say goodnight back.

Something doesn't add up, Raleigh thought, still struggling to make a sense of the last few minutes. What did I-

Then her eyes fell on the purple guitar she gave Rachel sitting not far from the wooden bench. Dorian jealously kept her ever since the first day they met. She wore it on every show, even in the music video they filmed together. She even caught her smiling down at it as she strummed a new melody. She really made her happy with her guitar: Rachel would never go anywhere without it, even the press noticed...and now it was there. Did she forget?

"Oh crap!" Raleigh sprinted to the staircases and opened the door, calling her name.

"Rachel hold on, your guitar! Rachel!"

But her words were welcomed by silence only.

[godlydolans]

Concept: gray meeting his soulmate in his late 20s and she’s from somewhere like Europe or Asia and she’s just moved to LA after getting her master’s degree in the UK

12.

That is the age when people get the first words that their soulmate will ever say to them, etched into their skin. Ever since he found out about soulmates through his grandma, Grayson Dolan just could not wait to turn 12 so he could know what those first words would be.

But the day he did turn 12 years old along with his brother, the poor boy's excited smile upon looking at the new ink that now resided on his arm, turned into a confused frown when he didn't understand what the words meant.

Pazi gdje ideš, idiote!

Hell, he couldn't even pronounce them. The only word he did know the meaning of was 'idiote' because that word had to have something to do with 'idiot', a word his big sister often used for him and his twin.

He showed the tattoo to Ethan first, seeing the words that were written on Ethan's skin too. His twin had 'Um, excuse me-you're blocking the door.' inked on his arm. None of that foreign shit.

"Whoa bro, you're getting yourself a foreigner chic!" Ethan had clpped Grayson on the back, grinning from ear to ear as he examined his own arm. "Mine seems to be wanting to run away from me before even meeting me."

Grayson had spent the whole day either staring at the unfamiliar words on his arm or running around and asking every family member if they could translate the words to him.

"I don't know what this says, sweetheart." His aunt had ruffled his hair, her heart melting at his sad pout as he hung his head at the unfortunate news.

"At least tell me which language it is?" He sounded so hopeful when he lifted his head and looked at his uncle's wife again.

"I don't think I know, Gray."

Grayson is the romantic, an avid believer in love and soulmates so it's a no brainer that he's been waiting for the day someone would yell at him in Bosnian about 'watching where he's going'. Its been years and years and years, but the day has unfortunately never come.

Cameron already found her soulmate and the woman is smitten, so in love, its sickening. Thank God, Ethan still hasn't found his girl because if he would have, Grayson would have gone mad. He wants to feel that love too, he's been waiting for so long.

The twins love to talk about the possible ways they could meet their soulmates. It only makes him want her more. He doesn't even know her name, doesn't even know what she looks like. He wishes she would hurry.

"Cam is so fucking lucky she found Jack in uni, bro." Ethan runs his hands through his hair, looking at the words on his arm. "I wonder what's written on her arm."

Grayson just shrugs, laying down on the couch opposite Ethan. "You'll find out when she decides to walk into your life, bro. It's all upto them now, we tried all we could to find them. Traveled the world at just 16 just so we could find my foreigner."

Ethan watches his brother starts to pout like he usually does when he talks about his foreigner. That's what they call her, Grayson's foreigner.

"Aww Gray, don't worry! Your foreigner chick is out there somewhere. At least you know you'll meet her. Some people don't even get anything inked on their skin."

Grayson nods. Ethan is right. At least he is sure he will meet his girl, unlike some people who never meet their other half. Bringing his arm infront of him, he traces the words with his finger. "We are going to be 27 this year. She better hurry or I'm gonna go to Bosnia and hunt her down."

His brother sighs, "If she even is in Bosnia."

Hey foreigner, I've been waiting for you longer than I've ever waited for anything. Please come to me soon, I really wanna know you. He speaks to her in his head, like he usually does when he is feeling particularly lonely.

His foreigner chick finally listened.

Y/N wasn't having the best day. Her first week in LA and it was already going horribly bad. The poor girl fell ill on the day she landed three days ago. She had just started to feel better yesterday and today, mother nature slapped her in the face again with her period.

Today also happened to be the day she needed to go grocery shopping because the food supplies were quickly disappearing. The grocery store was quite close to her house but the freaking traffic made her sit in her car for an additional 20 minutes before she reached her destination.

In the grocery store, the line in front of the cash register was endless and she was starting to feel her cramps getting worse and worse to the point where she just wanted to curl up in a ball in bed with a heating pad pressed to her stomach. Not to mention, the woman right behind her kept bickering with her little son to 'keep the toy back, Noah! Go keep it back where you got it from, I'm not buying you anymore-I'm calling your dad if you don't keep it back right now, young man!"

And then, just to make her day even more amazing, note the sarcasm, the poor girl got toppled over by what felt like a bulldozer on her way to her car that was parked down the street. She had her shopping bags in one hand and her keys in the other and she had just rounded a corner when one hulk of a man ran into her, literally, sending her falling on the ground, right on her butt.

She didn't even get to see the face or hear the voice, she just saw red as her eyes teared up at the excruciating pain the fall gave her already aching abdomen and she just shouted the first thing that came to mind.

"Pazi gdje ideš, idiote!" She yelled, picking up the key ring that fell beside her with the deadliest frown on her face. "Couldn't have gotten a better welcome to America."

Grayson stood still in front of her, not being able to believe that this girl just said the exact words he's been dying to hear since the age of 12. The same words he'd memorized by heart.

"Holy fuck, it's you."

And now it was her turn to stop collecting all the items that fell out of her shopping bag and turn to look up at the man who uttered the words that have been etched into her skin since the age of 12.

The man she sees is Grayson freaking Dolan. The guy she had a massive crush on when she was young, the guy whose videos she used to watch every Tuesday without fail few years back. She never thought she would meet the man, yet here he is.

Her soulmate.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry!" He finally snaps out of his surprised state and sees that she is on the floor, her stuff lying around her because he slammed into her. "This-I didn't-I'm so-"

"Its okay," she can't keep her eyes off his face. He is so much more beautiful up close, the cameras don't do him justice. Grayson squats down and finally came face to face with her, seeing her up close without the glare of the sun making him blind.

And it feels like the world stops and starts spinning around her. Here she is, the woman he has been dying to meet all his life, the girl he's been waiting for all these years.

His foreigner chick. She is right in front of him and he can't look away. It's not like he hasn't seen beautiful girls before, but for some reason, this girl's beauty makes him forget the basic need to breath. Her eyes are not the rarest colour, yet he can't seem to look away from them. His heart feels like its finally beating right after all these years that he's been alive. The whole world seems brighter and more lively now that she is in front of him and now he knows how Cameron is so in love with her soulmate.

It's crazy. He thought love at first sight didn't happen in real life!

"Hi, I'm Grayson."

"Y/N."

Ethan, who just arrived at the scene watching how his brother and this mystery girl are looking at each other and it does not take long for him to put two and two together. This is how his dad used to look at his mom, how his sister looks at her man.

"Oh great, he's found his foreigner." He says to himself, feeling happy for his brother but sad for himself. Looking down at his arm, he sighs, "Foreigner is here too. When are you planning on paying me a visit?"

To an outsider, it would look like the guy is crazy, talking to his own arm. But the guy is desperate! Now that Grayson has his girl, Ethan wants his own too!

[rafestyles]

i wanna be yours | d.d

Requested? Yes: Can you do one of david and reader before getting together and david realizing he has feeling for her and asks someone from the group for advice and she over hears?! 

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings?: None

A/N: hi lovies! i’m baaaaack !! :) i deterred from the plot slightly, having the reader find out david likes her through a carly and erin vlog squad tea video instead! i hope you like it !!

Masterlist?: Here!

you had been friends with the “vlog squad” for almost two years now. you had joined the crew of crazy vloggers because you were close friends with carly and erin, which meant you were invited to a lot of their parties and get-togethers, allowing you to become close to the rest of their friend group.

the first time you had met the legendary david dobrik, you had developed an instant liking to him. not only was he naturally charming, but his driven, business mind was what drew you to him. although, you had an immediate attraction the boy, you suppressed your feelings because he was in a committed (and very cute) relationship with liza at the time. despite all of this, david had also taken a quick likening to you as well, and before you knew it, you two had developed a fast friendship.

over the course of the past two years, the friendship you shared with him grew into a lot more - you considered david to be one of your best friends and he considered you to be his as well. you had been with him as he surpassed millions of subscribers and followers, as well as you being the first one he told when him and liza split. as the years have progressed, your feelings for him became a little more than just platonic. although, you kept that small secret to yourself, deciding it that would be a better option than ruining the whole dynamic of the friend group.

--

it was a lonely, sunday afternoon, when everything changed. you didn’t have any plans for the day, david being beckoned over to carly and erin’s place to film a video and the rest of the group busy with other things. so all in all, it was the perfect day to catch up on some much needed rest. you had just settled down to watch a movie when you received an incoming facetime call from dave.

“y/n?” you watched the screen as he was bending down to sit in his car. “dave, ‘s going on? how was filming with carly and erin?”

he finally made himself comfortable in the seat, placing the phone on his dash so he could buckle up and start the car. “it was good. um, yeah.” he shook his head lightly, biting his bottom lip nervously before continuing. “i think it’s going up tonight. ya gonna watch it?” he looked into the camera then, making as much eye contact as he could through a phone screen.

you furrowed your eyebrows, tilting your head quizzically, “i mean, i usually do dave. so yeah,” you paused for a second, “uh.. why?”

he ran his fingers through his crazy hair, sniffling as he licked over his lips, “oh, it’s just a good one.. uh, really funny.”

he was nervous, but you couldn’t figure out why. before you had a chance to ask him anymore questions, he was grabbing his phone and saying his goodbyes to you, “okay, y/n. i gotta go and film something with jase. uh, will you tell me when you’ve watched their video?” he pulled his bottom lip between his thumb and pointer finger.

“um, sure dave. but what the fuck is going on with you?” you questioned.

he shook his head quickly, “uh nothing! nothing, y/n, everything’s fine. i’ll talk to you later!” and with that, he hung up the phone, leaving you very confused.

--

you hadn’t realized that you had fallen asleep until you were woken up to the sound of your phone ringing. groaning slightly, you rolled over in bed, searching your sheets for the sound of then noise. once you found it, you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion when you realized it was your sister calling you.

“y/s/n?” you mumbled, sitting up in your bed as you stretched and yawned softly.

“y/n! where the fuck have you been?” she screeched, causing you to jump slightly at the sudden outburst. “have you watched c and e’s new video yet? probably not, no, because it sounds like you just woke up. get to your fucking laptop and watch it right now, okay? love you! ok, bye!” she hung up the phone, leaving you speechless on the other line.

you quickly sprung to action though, grabbing your laptop and opening it up. you quickly went to youtube, finding carly and erin’s video to be the first one in your recommended. your confusion kept growing as you noticed the title read “david dobrik reveals his crush?!” you tried to stop your heart from sinking, as you swallowed the lump in your throat, pressing play on the video.

the first few minutes of the video were filled with carly and erin explaining how to these “tea” videos usually go.

“oh, i’m so excited about this one!” erin gushed, “the last time i checked there was some good stuff on here.” she rubbed her hands, almost evily as she glanced over at david.

you smiled softly as he giggled, clapping his hands together, “let’s fucking go then.”

the video continued on much like it always did. they confirmed some of the rumors and denied some of the others and you kept laughing at the sly remarks that all three of them were making towards some of the comments.

“ooo, here’s a good one.” your ears perked up as you watched one of carly’s perfectly trimmed eyebrows raise as she glanced between david and erin. you watched them both read the comment she was referring to, david then biting his lip nervously.

“do you wanna talk about this one, dave? we can just cut this part out?” erin softly said, looking between the camera and david.

he seemed to ponder for a second before ultimately shaking his head. “no, don’t cut this out,” he took a deep breath, placing that huge grin back on his face, “let’s just fucking do it.”

carly and erin both grinned with him, clapping excitedly and cheering loudly. “alright! so the question is,” carly paused, double checking with david to make sure it was still okay. he nodded his head, encouraging her to continue. “it says, ‘do you think there’s something going on between y/n and david? like they’re always together and he looks at her like she hung the fucking moon.’”

your heart started pacing rapidly, you couldn’t believe what you had heard, and not only that, the fact that david had seemed nervous (?) about answering this question. your thoughts were interrupted by david speaking on the video.

“well, i guess i can just go ahead and deny that there’s anything going on between her and i,” he looked at his hands as he was playing with his fingers nervously, “but that doesn’t mean that i don’t want anything to happen?” he stated the last part in a questioning tone, looking back and forth between carly and erin, laughing softly as he noticed their huge grins.

you paused the video, trying to catch your breath as you searched for your phone to call your sister back. she picked up on the first ring, yelling into the phone.

“did you watch it?!” you shook your head, before you realized that she wasn’t in the room with you. “yes, but no. i haven’t finished it yet. what the fuck is going on?” your sister laughed happily in your ear, “just keep watching! but stay on the phone, i wanna hear your reaction!” she squealed.

you reluctantly pressed play on the video, putting your phone on speaker and laying it on your bed.

“so is this you officially saying you have a crush on y/n, david?” carly questioned, her grin never faltering.

“uh, i guess so?” he mumbled, licking over his lips as he smirked shyly at the camera.

“what the fuck…?” you mumbled, causing your sister to laugh loudly. “wait, keep listening!” she shouted.

“oh come on david, don’t give us that cutesy bullshit. yes or no?” erin teased him, pushing at his shoulder softly.

he laughed as he leaned back against the couch, running his fingers through his hair, “okay, okay, fuck, fine! yes, i like y/n, a lot. she’s just an all around great person and not only that, but she’s my best friend as well. so yeah,” he sat back up, getting almost a little too close to the camera, “y/n, if you’re watching this, please go on a date with me. i’ve been too big of a pussy to ask in person.”

you tuned out the video, only hearing carly and erin’s muffled cheers of celebration as you attempted to process what you had just heard. you were taken out of your thoughts at the sound of a knock at your door.

“y/n, who is that? ooo, fuck, i hope it’s david! let me know, love you!” and with that, your sister hung up the phone once again.

you stumbled out of your bed, glancing at yourself in the mirror as you tried to tame your bed head. you walked over to your front door, pulling it open to see david standing in front of you.

“um, hi?” he quietly mumbled, glancing at his feet before looking back up at you. “you weren’t answering your phone and i got worried. did you um- watch the video?” he cringed slightly at his nervousness as a large smile overtook your face.

“yes, i just um- i just did.” you bit your bottom lip trying to tone down the grin on your face. “fuck, um- come in?” you side stepped out of his way so he could enter your apartment, you then shutting the door behind him.

once he was inside, he turned around quickly, cupping your face in between his hands as he used his body to press your against your front door. “y/n, fuck. please tell me you feel the same way.”

you stared at him, bewildered for a moment before speaking, “what the fuck, david? of course i do! i thought it was so fucking obvious that i’ve been pining after you since day fucking one-“

and that was all of the confirmation he needed before he pressed his lips against yours, both of you grinning widely into the kiss. he pulled away after a moment, resting his forehead against yours, softly stroking your cheek with his thumb, “thank fucking god. i thought this would never happen.”

you giggled softly, looking him in the eyes, “well it’s fucking happening, dobrik. but i swear to god, if you ever ask me on a date through a fucking youtube video again, i will end you.”

he let out a loud laugh at your statement, leaning closer to you, “trust me, baby, won’t happen again.” he promised, connecting his lips to yours once more.

[thisgirlsays22]

Intro to Data Science (Chapter 2)

Rating: E

Fandom: Shingeki no Kyojin

Pairing(s):  Eren Yeager/ Levi

Chapter Word Count: 4.5K

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Fluff and Smut, (British) Professor Levi, (American) Student Eren, Long Distance

Summary:

“You’re probably just into him for the accent.”

“It’s not that,” Eren argued. “It doesn’t hurt, but it’s so much more than that.”

Mikasa rolled her eyes. “Sure.”

Notes:

For my lovely @fluffymusketeer who somehow manages to put me in a good mood even when the day looks bleak at first. 

And a big thank you to @attraversiamo19 for being a fantastic beta and to @dreamxxdream for being a fantastic test reader.

Also check out this lovely fanart from @renriva (Mira, you are amazing Y_Y) 

Read on Ao3 or under the cut. Edit: Chapter 1 on Tumblr 

Monday morning, when Levi nodded at him as he walked through the door of the lecture hall, Eren felt all the tension go out of his shoulders. He hadn’t stopped beating himself up over his failed attempt to ask Levi out. Eren didn’t crush often, but when he did, it was intense and entirely too much.

He couldn’t concentrate during class because of the fucking cadence of Levi’s beautiful, deep voice as he explained the difference between supervised and unsupervised machine learning.  He tried to copy down the notes from the slides on the screen at the front of the room, but kept drawing little doodles in the margins instead, wondering what was I thinking? That Levi would agree to go...platonically? That they’d strike up a friendship and eventually something more? God, he was embarrassed. He’d thought he’d picked up some sort of vibe between them, and maybe he had, but Levi was too noble to act on it.

“I can’t get him out of my head,” he complained to Mikasa that night. His desk was covered in junk food and dirty shirts, so he was curled up in his uncomfortable single-bed with his laptop, whining to his sister about his hopeless crush. He had dreamed his life in London would be glamorous, but here he was.  

“You’re probably just into him for the accent.”

“It’s not that,” Eren argued. “It doesn’t hurt, but it’s so much more than that.”

Mikasa rolled her eyes. “Sure.”

He should have just called her instead of video chatting. It would be easier to ignore her derision that way. “God, he’s so fucking smart and kind of mean sometimes, but then he’ll turn around and give you helpful advice. I mean he’s only thirty-four and he’s had this amazing career already.”

“If you start talking to me about data, I’m ending this call,” Mikasa warned.

Eren ignored her. “The way he teaches is incredible. He makes such sarcastic comments about what we’re learning, but then if you ask a question, he really takes the time to understand it and give you a good answer. He once made a shit joke to explain a concept about correlation versus causation.” Eren paused to sigh dreamily. “Plus, he likes to read good books. And he shares all these funny posts about cats, like you wouldn’t expect it from him.”

“Wait...what? How do you know that?”

Realising he’d slipped up, Eren froze. “...I may have found his Facebook.”

Mikasa groaned and covered her face. “I’m so embarrassed for you, oh my god.”

“I had to find out if he was straight or not!”

She groaned again. “Eren, don’t do this. I can hear it in your voice. I know how reckless you can be, but come on.”

“It’s just a fun crush,” he defended. “A fun, silly crush.” He left out the part where he’d already tried to ask Levi out on a date.

“Yes. A fantasy.” Mikasa crossed her arms and gave him a pointed look.

“Shut up, Mikasa.”

“I was just agreeing with you!”

“Yeah, but in your I-know-better-than-you way.”

“You know I’m just looking out for you. You get your heart broken so easily.”

“I almost never like anyone!”

“Yeah, but when you do, your heart gets broken like that,” she said, snapping her fingers.

“Whatever, fine.” He rolled over on his side and stuffed a pillow under his head.

“Eren...what aren’t you telling me?”

“What?”

“You have that guilty look on your face. Like in the picture.” Mikasa took every available opportunity to reference The Picture. A photo taken when Eren was a toddler where he wore a guilty expression as he hid in their playhouse to have a private shit.

“I am not making the guilty poop-face!”

“You are!”

He flung the pillow over his face and spoke into it.

“Try again without the pillow.”

“You don’t have to worry about him breaking my heart because I already asked him out and he turned me down. Which he definitely should have. He’s being a responsible, respectable adult, which only makes me like him more.”

“Eren!”

“I know, I know.”

“Oh my god...What kind of date did you ask him on?” Mikasa leaned closer to the camera, looking exasperated but intrigued.

Eren pulled at one of the seams on his pillow. “Philip Pullman is giving a talk about his new book, and I asked him to go.”

Her face softened. “That’s actually cute. You’re still an impulsive moron, but a sweet one.”

“Gee, thanks,” he said and then tried to change the subject as quickly as possible. “So how’s mom?”

“You know her. Working hard as ever. She finally agreed to let me start covering the groceries since I’m running more sessions at the gym.”

“Wait. Mom agreed to let you help contribute?”

“Yes.”

“As in our mother? Carla Jaeger?”

“Yes.”

“And you’re sure this wasn’t an Invasion of the Body Snatchers situation?”

“Haven’t checked yet, but I’ll get back to you.”

“Shit. That’s amazing, Mikasa. Good job.”

She took a little bow, hair falling in front of the camera. “Yes, thank you. Now I just have to convince Zeke to stop leeching off of mom.”

“Yeah, good luck with that.”  

“He was only supposed to be here for a month, and it’s been three.”

“Well, Mikasa, it’s really hard to find another pyramid scheme to latch onto. These opportunities don’t just fall from the sky.”

“I swear to god if he ever tries to sell me another vitamin again, I’m disowning him. I’m trying to convince him to just get a job with Connie at the bar until he figures things out.”

“Well, if anyone can, it’s you.”

“If he talks to you, can you mention it too? Couldn’t hurt.”

“Sure,” Eren said, not really meaning it. They hadn’t talked much since Eren had left for school nearly a year ago. Zeke had sent him a few obnoxious texts recently that consisted of, Pip pip cheerio, bro. Or Have you read my blog post on Paleo yet? All of which Eren had ignored.  

“Okay, I have to run, I’m leading a yoga session in an hour, but I love you, and for what it’s worth, I think you should still go to the event.” Mikasa blew him a kiss and waved.

“Love you too, and I’ll think about it.”

They disconnected the call, and Eren got that same lonely feeling he always got after calling home to his family or friends. On top of that was the embarrassment about his crush. He had to accept he’d let himself get carried away and was projecting his feelings of loneliness onto this fantasy of Levi.   

*

Eren took Mikasa’s advice and went to the Southbank Centre on Friday even though he hadn’t found anyone who wanted to go with him. His roommates hadn’t been interested: Ymir had called him a nerd, and Annie had just said, “No. Sounds boring.” At least Reiner and Bert had politely cited other plans as their reason for not going.

Whatever, they were all kind of assholes anyway. They only hung out with him because they all lived together, and rarely at that. So Eren had attempted to tame his wild hair, put on his nicest pair of black jeans and a button-down, and gone on his own.

Loneliness clouded his excitement for the night as he waited in line to get his signed copy of The Book of Dust from the little booth at the front of the centre. Everyone around him seemed to be here with someone, chatting happily, flipping through the new book together.

Eren got his copy and didn’t know what to do with himself. Distracted as he wandered around, admiring the large, glossy atrium, he did a double-take when someone caught his eye. Standing by the bar was a man Levi’s height with the same undercut.  

The man turned so Eren could see him in profile. Holy fucking shit, Eren thought, maneuvering through the crowd as fast as he could, making strategic use of his broad shoulders to get people out of his way.

“Levi?”

Levi leaned against the front of the bar, looking unsurprised. “Hey.”

“What are you doing here?” He’d spent the whole week trying not to think about Levi, trying to laugh off the rejection and the hopelessness of his crush, but Levi was standing in front of him. He’d actually come.  

“I wanted to see the lecture.”

“Oh. Do...do you want to sit together?” Eren asked.

“Not really.”

Eren was knocked further off-balance, unsure if Levi was joking or not. He tried to remain collected as he said, “I thought you were supposed to be polite.”

“I’m polite,” Levi protested flatly.

“No, you’re confusing.”

A funny look crossed Levi’s face, which Eren couldn’t decipher.

The bartender came back with Levi’s drink, a plastic cup full of wine, but before Levi paid, he said, “He’ll have a...what do you drink, Eren?”   

Too flustered to think of the names to any drinks, Eren said, “What you’re having looks good.” If Levi was buying him a drink, maybe he had been joking.

“Another red wine, please,” Levi said.

Eren didn’t know what to talk about next. Levi looked so handsome in his dark blazer and jeans, and Eren’s heart wouldn’t stop doing nervous somersaults.  

If he’d known Levi was going to be here, he could have mentally prepared some dazzling stories, some intriguing ice-breakers, intelligent questions, but here he was standing in front of Levi awkwardly without a clue what to say.

Fun crush, he reminded himself. Silly, fun crush. Just a fantasy.

“You don’t want to sit with me, but you’re buying me a drink?” Eren asked, trying to keep his tone neutral, breezy.

“You’re a broke student. Like I said, I’m being polite.” Levi paid for the drinks and Eren followed him to one of the empty tables around the corner. For such a bustling place, there were a surprising number of cozy places to sit.

Eren looked around for anyone he recognised from class and was relieved when no one materialised. He wondered if Levi was doing the same. Fuck it, anyway. There wasn’t any rule that they couldn’t socialise if they ran into each other in public.  

“Have you been here before?” Levi asked once they were seated, facing one another at a low table by the window. Finally out of winter’s grasp, the sun was still hanging low in the sky, casting the Thames in an orange hue.

“I came to an art exhibit here once,” Eren said, “but never to an event like this. It’s weird they serve you the drinks in plastic cups. I thought it would be classier.” The plastic cup made Eren feel like he was back in the college dorms again. Not bad, just out of place here.

Levi crossed his ankle over his leg, and Eren tracked the graceful movement with his eyes. “You can bring them into the theatre,” Levi said.  

“True. Do you come here often, then?” As the words left his lips, Eren cringed.

“Did you really just ask me if I come here often?” Levi asked, bemused.

“That did sound really cheesy,” Eren admitted. “But it’s a genuine question.”

“I don’t come here often,” Levi said. “But I’d like to. Most of my friends have moved out of the city, though.”

I’d go with you. In his mind’s-eye, it played out like fast-forwarding a movie. Levi would wear the same black blazer that brought out the grey in his eyes; afterwards they’d have dinner overlooking the Thames, discussing whatever show they’d seen, and then Levi would take him home and--Eren shook himself out of his spiraling thoughts.   

Their knees brushed under the table, and Levi didn’t pull away.

“I’m glad you came tonight,” Eren said, voice low.

Levi frowned and ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “Eren...Just because I’m here doesn’t mean--”

“I know. I’m still glad, though.”

When Eren met Levi’s eyes, he felt it: a current of electricity running between them. He wasn’t always the best at reading other people, but he was good at identifying that spark of interest, the heat that a single look could carry. The way Levi’s heavy-lidded eyes considered him made Eren’s breath hitch. Did Levi want to be convinced? If he did, Eren feared he would only fuck it up.

Levi cleared his throat and stood. “I need the loo. And we should head in soon.” 

“Wait,” Eren said, turning around in his chair. “So we are sitting together then?”

“I never said that.”    

“I can’t tell if we’re joking anymore,” Eren said.

“Fine.” Levi waved a hand. “I suppose you can sit with me. But you better bloody well not talk during it. I can’t stand that rude shit.”

Eren nodded, amused by the severity and specificity of the request. “You have yourself a deal.”  

He watched Levi walk away, and then leaned back in his chair, smiling to himself.

*

They chose seats at the front of the rear stalls, so there was no one sat in front of them and they had a wooden ledge to rest their arms and drinks upon. Every time their shoulders touched as Eren sat back in his chair, he lost track of what was being said on stage.

When the interview ended, Eren didn’t want to move. He wanted to stay still and feel Levi’s arm pressed against his, to smell the smoky scent of his cologne that made Eren light-headed with desire. Even though the urge to rest his head on Levi’s shoulder or to thread their fingers together was almost too much to bear, he would have chosen to relive that hour over and over if he could.

Afterwards, Eren waited for Levi to excuse himself, to call it a night, but he seemed content to keep walking side by side as they left the building together. Eren thought, if I just keep thinking of interesting things to say, he won’t go.

“You up for a walk along the river?” Eren tried.

Levi considered this for a moment. So sure the answer would be no, Eren almost didn’t register the nod. “Yeah, alright. Not too cold for it.”  

They strolled along the walkway above the water, the night air crisp and cool enough that Eren had put his sweatshirt on. The London Eye’s blue glow reflected on the water below, rotating so slowly above the city that it appeared still. Lights from restaurants, shops and flats on both sides of the river lit up the night, and Eren let himself imagine that there was nothing preventing this from being a real date, that they were just two people without a care in the world.

“I don’t know how I felt about the excerpt he read,” Eren said.  

“Me neither.”

“I’m worried it’s going to be really boring,” Eren confessed. “The first ones were perfect. I don’t want anything to ruin that.”

For a moment, they were split apart, maneuvering around a group of tourists clustered together, watching a man waving a giant bubble wand. They exchanged an eye roll.

“I thought you said you hated the last book,” Levi said once they had reached a quieter part of the pathway.

“No, I said it destroyed me. I hated it, and I loved it.”

“What, because Lyra and Will don’t end up together?”

“Obviously. They were soul mates and they were trapped in separate universes.” Eren threw his arms open wide for dramatic effect.

Levi stopped walking and crossed his arms, face caught in the blue glow from the ferris wheel. “Soul mates? They were twelve.”

“What’s age got to do with it?”   

“You’re right, nothing. It’s the concept of soul mates that’s bullshit.”

The opinion didn’t come as a surprise. In fact, Eren had been hoping for it; he enjoyed the sarcastic, scathing replies. He didn’t even know if the concept was something he believed in either, at least not for himself.   

“Are you going to tell me statistically it’s improbable?” Eren gave him a sly smile.

“Yeah. I’m going to draw a fucking graph for you.”  

“Come on. Tell me the ending didn’t make you cry,” Eren teased.

Before Levi could reply, Eren came to a sudden halt. “Shit! I left my book inside!”

“It’s alright. I’m sure it’s either still at your seat or they’ve brought it to the front.”

Relieved that Levi didn’t seem annoyed by his stupidity, Eren said, “I just hope no one took it.”

“You can have mine if they did.”  

Levi said this so casually, as though he were offering a piece of gum, that it took a moment for it to register. “What? No, I couldn’t take yours.”

“I’m only here because you found the event. I can just buy another copy inside.”

“Well, let me go check for it.” He expected Levi to finally excuse himself, but he followed Eren back to the venue.

“I need a shit,” he said in answer to Eren’s questioning look as they walked through the entrance.

Eren was startled by the vulgarity of a line delivered in that lovely, clipped accent; he blinked at Levi before letting out a shocked laugh.

“Go get your book,” Levi said, heading to the bathroom.

One of the ushers who was helping close up the theatre let Eren back in, and his book was still underneath the chair where he’d left it. He felt immense relief that he hadn’t lost his momento of the night, something he’d carefully chosen while otherwise refusing to fill his transient life with clutter.

Even though Levi had given no indication he would be departing after said shit, Eren was still surprised to find him waiting, leaning against the wall outside of the theatre.  

“I’m peckish,” Levi said, and Eren felt almost giddy with hope.

“Wahaca maybe?”

“Sure,” Levi said. “Something fast.”

He let Eren buy him two fish tacos and a margarita from the Wahaca food-truck outside. “You bought me the drink earlier,” Eren had insisted. They sat at one of the picnic tables out front, the smell of grilled meat filling the air. Levi ate his taco with a knife and fork, and Eren made fun of him.

“Funny, you’re taking the piss when you’ve got sauce on your face,” Levi said, flicking his judgemental gaze to Eren as he cut off another piece of taco.    

Eren touched his chin. “Here?”

“No.”

He touched his forehead. “Here?”

Levi rolled his eyes. “Yeah. Spot on.”

Reaching for a napkin from the centre of the table, Eren said, “Thanks for going back with me. That was really nice of you.” He wiped the corners of his mouth then messily tucked back into his chicken burrito.

“It’s fine.” Levi didn’t look up from his food.  

“You’re not great at accepting praise, are you?”

Levi’s fork was halfway to his mouth, and he paused to glare at Eren.

“Like when I tried to compliment your teaching or your career.”

“Maybe you’re bad at giving compliments. Thought about that?”

“You’re funny too,” Eren said, like it was a challenge.

Levi pointed at Eren with his fork. “That’s a better compliment.”

Eren finished up his food and stood. “I’m gonna get another margarita, you want one?”

“Go on then. But here,” Levi pulled his wallet out and handed over a twenty pound note.

“Thanks. I’ll keep the change.”

“Yeah. You can buy a new sweatshirt.”

“Hey! What’s wrong with my sweatshirt?” Eren looked down, dumbfounded, at his green hoodie. He’d gotten it from Abercrombie a couple years ago, but it was still in decent enough shape.  

“What’s right with it?” Levi said.

“You know what? You keep the change. Buy a new attitude,” Eren said.

Levi burst out laughing, covering his eyes with his hand as if he were surprised it was happening.

Flirting with Levi got Eren’s heart racing in ways he hadn’t experienced since his first middle-school crushes. He’d had feelings for people since then, meaningful relationships, but they’d lacked the novelty and the thrill that he felt with Levi. A dangerous, unlikely possibility unfolding between them.

The whole night had a surreal, magical edge to it. Removing Levi from the context of university had deepend Eren’s crush. It wasn’t Levi as a professor he liked...it was Levi the person. Though he seemed tenser than he did while in front of the classroom, he retained the sharp sense of humor that had caught Eren’s attention from the very first lesson.

Walking back to the food truck, chuckling to himself as he jingled the change around in his hand, that’s when Eren understood. He liked that Levi was a challenge, that he didn’t readily accept compliments. He even liked that Levi insulted his sweatshirt. Underneath his barbs and impassive exterior was a sweetness, a gentleness, and that was the best part of all. Each time he’d talked to Levi he managed to chip away at Levi’s icy exterior just a bit more. Maybe soon he would uncover the sculpture underneath, a masterpiece.

All the things he’d told Mikasa had been true, except that this was a fun, silly crush. Eren could feel he was rapidly approaching the danger line where the fun and silly portion of the evening would end and he would only get hurt.

While he waited in line, he glanced back at Levi at the table a few times, half-expecting him to be gone, but Levi was still sitting there with his copy of The Book of Dust out, idly flipping through.

When he returned, Levi suggested they resume their walk.

“With our drinks?” Eren asked, equally surprised by Levi’s suggestion and the idea of walking around in public with alcohol in plain sight.

“It’s fine,” Levi said, amused.

“Sweet! I always just want to be sure. It’s illegal back home.”

“Your laws make no fucking sense.” Levi shook his head.

They cleared off the table and continued in the direction of the Eye, past the small market selling records and books and two stray street performers dressed as Yoda and a gold statue.

Eren halted. “Shit! I left my book back at the table.” He’d been so focussed on the moment that he lost track of the damn book again.

“Do we need to put that thing on a leash?”

“Yes!” Eren called over his shoulder and as he ran back to their table to retrieve his wayward text once again. Please don’t let him think I’m always like this, Eren thought.

“You sure you really want it?” Levi asked once Eren had returned. He was looking down at the river now, leaning forward on the stone wall along the edge of the walkway. Eren went to stand by his side.

“I do! I really should have gotten two actually. One for my mom,” Eren said regretfully as they resumed their walk once again. “I might just give her mine since I keep leaving it everywhere anyway.”  

“I’m sure you’ll be able to find another one. They usually sell signed copies like those at Forbidden Planet.”

“What’s that?” Eren asked.

“They sell comics, merchandise, those sorts of things. They’ve got a decent collection of fantasy and sci-fi books. Bit nerdy, but fun. A friend of mine always makes me stop in there with them.” Levi smiled fondly.

“What do you usually buy?”  

“Can’t say I’m too exciting. I tend to like the broadly popular work. Studio Ghibli films and the like. Walking Dead’s alright, I still keep up with the comics.”

Eren hid a smile. “I like some of that stuff. Like anything zombie sign me up, except I’ve given up on the Walking Dead.”

“Fair. I really should.”

“I’m actually kind of surprised you’re into all that.”

“Why?”

Because you seem so aloof and cool and anything that makes you seem more down-to-earth just makes me like you more. “I don’t know, I guess you come off as someone who wouldn’t have a lot of interest in that kind of stuff. Like you’re too cool for it.”

“You don’t know me very well at all,” Levi said. Was there--Eren’s heart stuttered--was there something flirty in the way Levi said that? It was something in the way he held Eren’s eye, the sly way the corner of his lip tugged up.

He was probably just imagining it. Eren rested his arms on the railing above the wall, trying to choose his next words carefully as he stared down at the patch of rocky-beach that was visible now, not yet swallowed up by the tide.  

“I wouldn’t mind knowing you,” Eren said quietly, as though he were tossing the words to the river like a skipping stone.

Neither looked at the other. Eren’s grip on the rail tightened. Mikasa’s warning ran through his head again as he waited for Levi to speak. To say something, anything.

“Even if I wanted that too, you’re my student. It’s a bad idea.”

Eren’s heart went into overdrive, pounding against his rib cage like it was trying to escape. Their fingers were inches apart, resting on the guardrail and Eren let the wine and margaritas give him courage as he moved his hand towards Levi’s and placed it on top of his. The hard line of Levi’s profile was impassive, but he didn’t pull away.

Self-conscious, nervous thoughts slithered into Eren’s mind: why would Levi want him? He was just a dumb kid with nothing to offer.

But Eren was also reckless. He let moments overwhelm his better sense of judgement, his rationale, and would always choose to leap. Below, a river cruise ship trailed past, and a few people on the deck waved up at them. Eren tentatively lifted his hand to wave back, but instead of putting it back down on the rail, he took hold of Levi’s arm. Face still angled away from Eren, Levi’s jaw was tight.

Eren could feel the hard muscles of Levi’s bicep through the blazer, and he squeezed. Partially so Levi would look over at him and partially because he had no restraint.

Without a word, Levi gripped Eren’s waist, sending shivers through him at the touch as they locked eyes. Eren hesitantly bent forward to kiss him, expecting to be stopped, but was shocked when Levi’s hand twisted the front of his hoodie to pull Eren the rest of the way across.   

They both tasted like tequila, but Eren wouldn’t have changed a thing. Running his fingers along the soft hairs of Levi’s undercut and woozy again from the smell of his cologne, Eren could have kissed him like this all night. Levi’s lips were soft and a little chapped, and he kissed Eren with such tenderness, hand pressed against the small of his back, that Eren thought he must be dreaming.

But Levi pulled away, taking a step back. The breeze blew his bangs in front of his face, obscuring his eyes. “I should go,” he said. “I’m sorry.”

Eren was still reeling from the kiss, words not registering until Levi stepped back.

“Oh, okay,” Eren said, but Levi was already hurrying away. “Goodnight, then.”   

[buckys-other-punk]

Say (All I Need) Jealous Part 6.1

Bucky x Reader, (slight) Steve x Reader

Warnings: angst (if you call it that), jealousy, cuss words, mentions of smut (not really but ehh) and idk what else

Word Count: 3806 (w/o lyrics)

Song inspiration: “Say (All I Need)” One Republic (wow finally not a NJ song) I also re-ordered the lyrics to make it flow better with the story.

A/N: Finally Part 6! I liked @lostinthoughtsandfeelings’ comment where she suggested to show a bit more backstory of how the reader chose Bucky over Steve and why (kinda..not really sorry). So part 6 is gonna have 2 parts as you can tell from the title. This part is the Reader’s POV and the second is going to be Steve’s. Don’t mind any of my mistakes this took a while to write and I really don’t wanna look over this lol. If you wanna be tagged let me know and feedback is very much appreciated! Hope its good and you guys like it!

Tags: @caplansteverogers @hollycornish @carabarnes13@ohmyjack @sebtheromanianprince @flirtswithdanger @aquabrie @amour-quinn @incoherent-smiles-deactivated @rocketqueeens @anbrax5553 @lloeppky @shayla-markele @pdy93 @chrys-1029 @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @dani-si @httpmcrvel @101killer @sarahp879

tags with this means they didn’t work sorry :(

=============================================== *Flashback to 5 years ago*

Do you know where your heart is?

Do you think you can find it?

Or did you trade it for something

Somewhere better just to have it?

You and Bucky have been dating for about 3 months now. Nothing that serious you thought, since your relationship with Bucky was still fresh…well besides the 24 hour sex. You’ve been working on a mission with Nat and Clint for about a month and just arrived back to the tower. Bucky was with Bruce to make improvements for his arm.

“Hey F.R.I.D.A.Y., Do you know where Bucky is?” you asked aloud.

“Yes Ms. (Y/L/N), Bucky is in the lab with Dr. Banner. Would you like me yo summon him for you?” F.R.I.D.A.Y asked.

“No it’s fine F.R.I.D.A.Y. I’ll just go there.” you replied. As you walked near the lab you heard voices talking. Entering the lab Bucky was on an exam table and Bruce looking over his metal arm. They were video chatting with Tony about whatever. Tony was the first to notice you entrance.

“Agent (Y/L/N).” Tony said calmly looking your way. The other two both turned in your direction.

Do you know what your fate is?

And are you trying to shake it?

You’re doing your best dance,

Your best look

You’re praying that you make it

“(Y/N), I have to talk to you.” Bucky said sternly. You were taken back by his tone and your small smile went away. You nodded as he directed you to the living room area.

“What’s wrong Bucky? You’re scaring me.” you said quietly.

“I have to go on a mission (Y/N).” he said sadly.

“Ok, how long are you going to be gone for?” you asked.

“That’s the thing, (Y/N). Umm…I’m going to be gone for 9 months.” he paused. “Tony said he wanted me and Banner to go with him to England to get some leads on HYDRA.”

“Well, why can’t I go with you guys?” you asked.

“I’m sorry (Y/N). Tony said he just wanted us three to go.” he sighed. “(Y/N), I don’t know if I could do a long distance relationship. I know we’ve been dating for 3 months and it has been great, but…” Bucky hesitated, “I think we just need a break.” he avoided eye contact through his whole plea. “I’m sorry, (Y/N). I gotta get packing.” he sighed as he rushed out of the lab.

Well, bless my soul

You’re a lonely soul

‘Cause you won’t let go

Of anything you hold

Bucky began to pack up for the mission. He felt guilty for putting an end to your guys’ relationship. When he finished packing up his stuff and exited his room. As he began to walk away from his room he passed your door. He set down his suitcase and stood at the closed door. He looked a the door and raised his hand about to knock. He paused and though “Maybe she’s mad at me…I shouldn’t say anything to hurt her even more.” He stepped away from your door and began to walk towards the elevators.

Meanwhile, you sat in your room thinking as tears began to fall down your face. “Why the hell are you feeling sad (Y/N). It was bound to happen. You are a strong independent woman, fuck him for ending your relationship.” you said to yourself as you took a deep breath and wiped away the tears. You exited your room seeing the elevator doors close.

Well, all I need

Is the air I breathe

And a place to rest my head

About 2 months Bucky left you were trying to forget about the whole breakup situation and trained to keep your mind out of the gutter. You were throwing punches at a punching bag while Sam held the back of it to keep it from moving around.

“So, (Y/N) I heard you are single again.” he said with a devilish smirk. You happily scoffed at his remark and nodded yes. “I was wondering if you wanna go out sometime?” he asked.

“I’m very flattered Sam, but I’m just trying to recover and find myself.” you said kindly. He nodded understanding and his shoulder slumped a bit. “But hey, we could go and get a drink sometime. Maybe find you a girl.” you said winking at Sam.

He laughed. “Yeah, I like that. Hey who knows you could probably be a better wingman than Steve and Bucky combined. I mean your a woman and you know how other women think.” he said happily. You both finished your training and began to exit the gym. As you left you waved Sam goodbye as you headed to the kitchen to get a snack. When you walked into the kitchen Steve was there making breakfast. It looked like he just came back from a jog.

“Hey soldier. What you making there?” you asked Steve. He turned around smiling at you showing you his breakfast.

“Hey (Y/N), oh, I uh got some fruit from the farmers market that’s near here and decided they would go good with some yogurt. I still got some leftover fruits. You want me to make you some?” he asked you politely.

You shook your head no and said “Nah, its fine I’ll just take some of yours.” You smiled as you got a spoon and dipped it into his yogurt bowl. He looked at you in shock like you kicked a innocent dog or cat. You were always super friendly with Steve. You also sorta kinda had a small crush on him when you first started working with the Avengers, but your crush on him dialed down when you began to date Bucky. Now that Bucky ended his relationship a few months ago you’ve began to notice how kind Steve was to you. As you ate your spoonful of yogurt and fruit Steve copied you and began to eat.

“So, (Y/N), how was training with Sam?” he asked you.

You chuckled and said “He’s ok, but I think I’m gonna ask Nat to spar with me again. I feel bad for kicking Sam’s ass for the past couple of days.”

“Well, I’m kinda glad I get my jogging buddy back.” he laughed. You chuckled at his comment and put your spoon in the sink. “You know I was wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime. I feel like I never see you during the day, you’re always so busy.” he said as you walked to the fridge to get a bottle of water.

“Yeah, I’d like that Steve.” you said smiling.

Well, bless my soul

You’re a lonely soul

'Cause you won’t let go

Of anything you hold

*Later that evening*

You walked up to Steve’s room and knocked on his door. He opened his door slightly and realizing that it was you he open his door wide. “(Y/N)? What are you doing here?” he asked you and looking at what you were wearing. “What are you wearing? I-I mean it’s beautiful and you look gorgeous and-” you cut Steve off by holding you hand up.

“Steve, you said you wanted to go out…So why not now? We could go get some food from that one fancy restaurant that Tony always bugs us all about. I also swiped Tony’s mastercard from him before he left.” you said with a smile. Steve chuckled at your comment and motioned for you to enter his room.

“I’ll get dressed. You can wait in here.” he said. You looked around his room and everything was tidy and clean. Walking to his desk and seeing a small notepad with a list of things. As you read over the list you smiled taking note that one day you would binge watch Star Wars with Steve. Steve came out of his bathroom with his matching navy blue suit. You stared at Steve for what felt like the longest time. “Is this ok?” he asked you shyly.

“Oh my god! Steve you look awesome!” you said happily. “Let’s go and spend Tony’s money” you laughed.

“Alright let’s go.” Steve said happily.

*Later at the restaurant*

After you and Steve were close to finishing your food you suggested something. “So Steve, why don’t we go the the club around the corner. You know find yourself a girl. We could bring Sam with us too, apparently I’m his wingwoman.” you chuckled as you “paid” for the food.

Steve nodded and pulled out his phone. “I guess I should call Sam then.” he laughed.

The waiter returned with Tony’s card and asked “I’ve noticed that Mr. Stark isn’t here. May I ask why or how you have his card or should I call over my manager?” You shook your head no.

“Oh, no I’m sorry. I’m Tony’s daughter (Y/N) and he gave me his card for the weekend. So I decided to go out to dinner with my boyfriend.” you lied sounding fake concerned. “Please don’t call your manager over, my dad would kill me if he knew I’m dating someone who he doesn’t know. My dad is very strict.” you added to the lie. The waiter nodded.

“I’m sorry miss. I didn’t know Mr. Stark had a daughter. Let me get you our speciality chocolate cake of course on the house.” he apologized scurrying to the kitchen. You looked over at Steve smiling.

“Well, Ms. Stark I’m glad to be your unknown boyfriend.” he chuckled.

“Hey, at least we got free dessert!” you said giddy. The waiter came back with the cake and two forks. You and Steve shared the cake and once you finished you both exited the restaurant with you arms linked. “Oh is Sam going to be joining us?” you asked Steve and he nodded yes. As the two of you arrived at the club Sam was already in the line waiting for you guys. He waved over at you and Steve. “Hey Sam, I guess your wingwoman came to the rescue afterall.” you laughed and so did he.

“Yeah, I’m actually happy that you are gonna help me out. Seeing that you are busy with someone else.” he whispered at you so Steve wouldn’t hear. You shoved him away. “Hey, you know it’s true. The only thing is I wish this fucking line would move.” he yelled over the crowd. You and Steve laughed at him. You looked at the bounce of the club recognizing the face.

“Follow me guys.” you said leading the two gentlemen to the front of the line. “Henry? Is that you? Oh my god it is!!” you smiled and so did the bouncer.

“(Y/N) (Y/L/N) as I like and breathe! Long time no see girl!” he replied in a friendly tone. Henry was a super buff guy (like most bouncers of the bouncers that worked there), but he was a very nice person when you get to know him. “Who do you got here? Getting into trouble again I suppose?” he added and you blushed.

“Oh no, these two are my friends. I’m their wingwoman for the night.” you said. “Do you think you could let an old friend in?” you asked.

“Uhhh,” he paused looking at you, but you gave him your best puppy dog eyes and he sighed, “yeah you can go in. Just don’t tell my boss.” he winked at you pulling moving aside to let you guys in. You smiled and kissed his cheek and you lead both Steve and Sam into the club and up to the bar.

“What just happened?” Sam asked and Steve nodded in agreement. You waved the bartender over ordering a whiskey.

“Oh you mean Henry?” you asked the pair and the nodded. “Well we use to work together.” you said calmly.

“Umm, where?” Sam asked.

“Here.” you said and the two had a questioned look. “I was the person who would kick people out if they became to rowdy and if they would decline or ever so much as touch me I would beat their ass (a/n: basically like Ronda Rousey in Expendables 3).” you said confidently smirking as the bartender gave you your drink and you downed it. You ordered another and they two men looked at you.

“Huh, that kinda explains your aggressiveness.” Steve said quietly, but you heard him and shoved him.

“HEY! I am not aggressive!” you yelled and the two laughed at your assertiveness. “Whatever! Sam did you find some poor girl that has to listen to you talk about how great you are?” you asked for friend.

“Ouch, but yeah that girl over there with the black dress.” he pointed at a table near the bodies of dancing people. You nodded taking note and downing your second drink, you stood up from your chair and began to walk near the girl. Sam and Steve saw you talking to the girl. “She better do me right.” Sam said to Steve and he chuckled. As you were talking to the girl the guys both ordered drinks from the bartender. You began to walk back you winked at Sam. Then the girl looked over and began to walk towards Sam. “Hello there.” Sam said confidently and she giggled. She took his hand and brought him to the other dancing bodies.

“What did you say to her?” Steve asked as he sipped his drink.

“Oh I just said he was an Avenger and saves the world.” you replied smiling ordering yet another drink. The rest of the night was a blur, but you knew that you went home with someone.

*Early in the Morning*

You woke up with an excruciating headache. You groaned you felt something heavy around your small frame. As you turned you saw the person who was next to you. Steve Fucking Rogers. You were mentally screaming. Slowly moving his hand off your stomach you got of his bed and tried to find you clothes. They were scattered everywhere. “Damn, I guess we had a good time.” you said in your mind. Even though you didn’t really remember the sex all, you remembered was how much you liked it and being with Steve. Right when you got your dress off of the ground Steve noticed the absence of your presence in the bed.

“Rushing to get out of here?” Steve asked quietly and ashamed. You looked up at him and sighed.

“I’m sorry I’m rushing, but I just got out of a relationship and it’s your best friend for fucks sake. I just need some time to think. I’m sorry Steve.” you said sadly as you walked up to him and kissed his cheek. You quickly got your belongings and rushed out of his room running into your room. You dropped everything as you closed your door and with your back against the door you slid down into a sitting position. “What the fuck did I just do.” you said to yourself.

Do you know where your love is?

Do you think that you lost it?

You felt it so strong, but

Nothing’s turned out how you wanted

*Later that Afternoon*

“Maria, I need  to clear my head. Can you please help me?” you sighed. She nodded at you a concerning look.

“What’s wrong (Y/N)?” she asked. “And what are you wearing!?!” she added pointing at your sweater. You looked down at your sweater.

“What? This? My nephew made this for me so back up.” you defended the ugly-ish sweater. “But I need your help.” You loved Maria she was your mentor when you first became an avenger and then the two of you became close friends.

“What is it?” she demanded and you sighed.

“I slept with Steve.” you said cowering a bit.

“Wait what? Nat owes me $20?” she snickered and you slapped her hand.

“Maria! Ugh, help me!!” you exclaimed and she laughed.

“Fine. How did this happen?” she asked you.

“We got drunk at a club and you know one thing led to another.” you replied.

“Damn, I wish that would happen to me.” she said silently so you wouldn’t hear, but you did. “Well what are your feelings towards Steve?” she asked another question.

“Steve is a sweetheart and is always nice to me.” you replied.

Maria nodded, “Ok, how do you feel about Bucky or should I say did you feel?” she asked you.

“When we were together he was great as well, but there was something different about him. Like good different. Even though he broke up with me which was stupid and I don’t understand why he did that still.” you said.

“Well then, who do you have more feelings for?” Maria asked you.

“I don’t know. They are both great guys, but I can’t choose.” you said sighing putting your head on the table with defeat.

“Well, I believe that you will make the right choice.” Maria said patting you shoulder. “Now let’s order you some food because I know that will cheer your up.” she added and you laughed agreeing.

Do you think you can find it?

Do you think you can find it?

Do you think you can find it?

Better than you had it

You’ve been avoid Steve for days. You felt bad, but you were trying to escape the awkwardness. You’ve locked yourself in your room just thinking about what you should do. You sighed loudly and exited your room and walked to Steve’s room. You paused for a moment and right when you were about to knock on the door it opened quickly.

“Oh, (Y/N). Hi.” Steve said avoiding eye contact.

“Hey Steve.” you said. “We need to talk.” you continued walking past him and sitting on his make bed. He closed the door behind him and followed in your footsteps.

“You’re gonna talk about that night, right?” he asked you. As you looked at him you were about to cry, but you tried to keep it together.

“Yeah, I don’t think we should tell Bucky. I mean he’s your best friend for fucks sake, Steve.” you said keeping your calm and he nodded as he walked closer to you.

“Please tell you felt something when we were together for that short amount of time. Please (Y/N).” he said looking at you.

“I’m really sorry Steve, but I didn’t feel anything.” you lied. Of course you felt something. Steve was so sweet to you the entire night, but you felt like you cheated with Bucky (a/n: even tho he broke up witchu…i’m sorry for interrupting but like asdfghjkl).

“(Y/N), look into my eyes and say you didn’t feel anything.” he said grabbing you face forcing you to look at him.

“I didn’t feel anything.” you said sternly looking into the stupid, beautiful eyes. Steve has tears forming in his eyes and tried to hold yours back. You took his hands off of your face and slowly exited his room. “Just know Steve if something happened that night you met me things would be different.” you said as he exited his room closing the door. You had tears running down your face and walked to Maria’s room. She saw your state and hugged you as you sobbed into her shoulder.

(say) all I need

Is the air I breathe

And a place to rest my head  

*4 Months later*

Ever since your talk with Steve both of you were avoiding one another and everyone noticed, but didn’t say a word. It was hard to try and avoid one another, but whenever you did bump into one another you would have small talk. Both of you were slowly beginning to talk to one another, trying not to make it awkward.

Both you and Steve were talking in the kitchen as you both were eating lunch. Out of nowhere you both heard the elevator ding. You both looked to the doors opening an you saw the one and only James ‘Bucky’ Barnes. He exited the elevator, looked at the two of you and walked straight to his room. Both you and Steve looked at each other questionably. You got up walking to Bucky’s room and Steve was behind you. His door was closed. You knocked on it hoping he would open the door and luckily he did.

“Can we come in?” you asked and Steve behind you. He looked at the two of you and closed the door. Right when you were going to knock on the door again Steve stopped you.

“Let’s let him rest. He’s probably tired.” Steve said quietly and you nodded walking away.

*5 weeks later*

Bucky had been avoiding both you and Steve for the past weeks. You were on the couch binging some New Girl when Bucky came into the living room. He sat on the other side of the couch and began to watch with you. You looked over at him and he with you.

“We need to talk (Y/N).” he said. ‘That was never a good sign.’ you said to yourself. Your turned off the TV and showed Bucky your full attention. “I thought about what happened between us when I left for my mission.” he started and looked at your blank face nodding for him to continue. “I wanna tell you that I met someone in England and one thing led to another and we slept together.” he added.

“Why are you telling my this Bucky? You’re the one who broke up with me.” you said in reply.

“I know, but I wanted to tell you because a part of me felt like I cheated on you and it felt like I was being weighed down by all this guilt.” he paused. “And I kinda sorta said your name during sex with that girl.” he said looking down and you just laughed.

“Oh my god! That poor girl.” you said laughing. Bucky laughed at your comment as well.

“Yes well that didn’t last for long, but that wasn’t what I was thinking about for the past months.” he said and you nodded for him to continue. “I want to get back together with you. I know, I know before you stop me, I was wrong. I was stupid to break things up between us. We were great together and I regret everything. I missed you, I missed being with you, making you laugh and smile. I feel like I lost a part of me when I left you. I’m sorry (Y/N). Just know that I still love you and I’m sorry for what I did.” he finished sighing and about to get up from his seat. You stopped him and grabbed his face with you hands and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. Looking at his shocked blue-ish grey eyes, you smiled.

“I forgive you, Bucky.But I have to think before I give you my answer.” you said quietly and he nodded as he got up from his seat and exiting the living room.

“What the fuck am I going to do now?” you said to yourself with some tears in your eyes.

Do you know where the end is?

Do you think you can see it?

Well, until you get there

Go on, go ahead and scream it

Just say…

End of part 6!! I AM SORRY THIS TOOK FOREVER!!I hoped you guys liked it and it wasn’t a let down. Also part 6.2 will be very interesting. Like always let me know what you want to see next, any suggestions and if you wanna be tagged in anything!

[bangtanata-blog]

I have a dumb idea to start this crack-ish snow white au fic lmao more details under

- warning: it’s a shipping fic. taekook / yoonmin / namjin. hints of 2seok?

so in favor of the Go Go dance practice video, these are the members’ roles:

taehyung: snow white

seokjin: the ‘evil’ queen?

hoseok: the mirror????

namjoon: the hunter

jimin, yoongi: dwarfs?

jeongguk: the prince

headcanons bc i may end up not writing the full length fic, but i need to put some of my ideas here so i dont forget it:

- taejin are actually brothers. jin is the older one so he takes the role as king, even though all he wants really is to be a chef or a gourmet but everyone cant have what they want right

- taejin actually get along; they’re best buds, taehyung is clingy toward his big brother and jin is just rather willing to pamper his little brother, even though he complains about having to take care of tae literally all the time. loudly. with body gestures and all

- the plot(?) starts when jin gets tired of taehyung being cooped up in the palace all day long, all year long. it’s just not healthy and he’s worried and he really wants tae to get some friends his age aside from the princesses and princes trying to take tae’s hand in marriage. he’s tempted to sing for the first time in forever while he throws taehyung out, but he doesn’t. being the brilliant king he is, he asks his trusted right hand man who resides in a mirror(?), hoseok

- hoseok gives this brilliant idea to pretend to try to get rid of tae by hiring a clumsy hunter who really should be a politician with his brain power in jin’s opinion but well, anyway, namjoon is hired.

- jin may or may not be staring too long at his dimples.

- hoseok teases him for it.

- “not a word, hoseok.” “yes, yes, of course, Your Royal Majesty.”

- namjoon meets taehyung in the gardens.

- namjoon’s first words to taehyung are literally an awkward “uh. hey. i was sent to kill you, so. uh. bye?”

- taehyung’s first response is to stare. blankly. a long, long while until namjoon starts to sweat in nervousness.

- taehyung: “why?” namjoon: “bc you dont have any friends” as if that makes any sense.

- in taehyung’s head, it does.

- after processing that, he runs.

- when he runs, he runs fast.

- NYOOM. to the forest he goes.

- he doesn’t hallucinate about the demon trees but he may or may not cry in his mind a little bit over how his big brother is bullying him. with no actual malice intended. he decides to find some friends, dammit, he’ll find friends, and he’s going to yodel back to the palace with his friends, he vows to do just that.

- jin sneezes.

- hoseok: bless you, your majesty. jin: -sniffs- thank you

- taehyung climbs a huge tree to escape namjoon’s vision.

- namjoon may or may not half asses his attempt to kill taehyung (he knows a doting big brother when he sees one, okay, and he’s fairly sure he was hired because of his notorious clumsiness so he won’t really kill the prince)

- namjoon shrugging his shoulders when it’s near night time (whatever, his mind supplies, i can look for him tomorrow and give him some soup or something) and proceeds to return to the palace to report to the king

- probably gets distracted by the palace’s library and proceeds to read the books

- hoseok: you should probably check the library. jin: and why ever should i do that?

- jin does it anyway. may or may not trips over his own foot when he sees namjoon reading books in his library.

- let’s leave the love birds alone for now. back to tae.

- he finds a nice cozy house in the forest. shamelessly breaks in. not even three steps in the house, there’s someone pointing a shot gun at him. another person saves his life, literally, by calming the grumpy man down.

- grumpy man is yoongi, who is naturally suspicious at tae bc you broke into my house when im trying to sleep, asshole; tae simply replies to that with a boxy grin.

- his savior is jimin, who truthfully also just wants to sleep so he doesn’t want to deal with his boyfriend killing a random trespasser just yet. vmin becomes close friends in a matter of, like, twenty minutes or so over conversation. yoongi despairs.

- taehyung may or may not poke fun at yoongi’s height.

- yoongi: jimin is literally the same height as i am. taehyung: yeah, but he’s cute, you’re just grumpy, hyung.

- jimin is certain he’s in love (platonically).

- platonic soulmates shenanigans ensue. yoongi wants to bang his head to the wall. he just wants to sleep, please let him sleep, oh god someone save him.

- taehyung successfully completes his mission to get friends.

- he just needs to convince them to yodel back to the palace.

- yoongi: no. taehyung: but-- yoongi: no. taehyung: you just have to dance-- yoongi: no.

- and so his next mission is to convince the two men to agree to yodel in their way back to the palace. at the moment, he decides some sleep overs are necessary.

- a few days later, an antsy jin decides to check up on tae, no matter if hoseok the magical mirror tells him that tae is fine and he’s having fun. jin just gotta.

- jin either dresses himself up as jack sparrow like that one dance practice video or he just walks to yoonmin’s house like the royalty he is. probably gets there in the middle of another platonic soulmate shenanigans.

- jin and yoongi share a mutual look of understanding. it’s an iconic moment.

- vmin are monsters when they’re excited. why does he let this happen? oh right, because he wants his little brother to have friends.

- jin and yoongi may or may not are actually p soft over vmin bonding, they’re just soft inside over how happy vmin are.

- a prince riding on a black horse barges in. it’s jeongguk.

- he’s a bit pissed bc his father sent him to try to court taehyung into marriage for political reasons and when he gets to the palace nobody’s home except for the servants. hoseok, who is eating grapes in his mirror (jeongguk pauses a little bit at that view bc how the fuck???) helpfully tells him the yoonmin address.

- yoongi despairs over how his address is just freely given to everyone right now. god, what is his life?

- jeongguk tries to be mad at taehyung bc he’s supposed to court him and he doesn’t want a marriage without love but then taehyung sends him a sheepish grin and jeongguk’s heart may have stopped for a few moments

- vmin extends their hands of friendship toward jeongguk. he readily agrees. (it’s better than marriage anyway; jeongguk is actually a little bit lonely and shy, and he’ll be happy to get friends)

- the maknae line is now complete. let another shenanigans begin.

- namjoon comes late to the party while bringing hoseok in a hand mirror.

- taehyung excitedly introduces hoseok the hand mirror to jimin.

- sunshine line screaming excitedly. with jeongguk chuckling behind tae, his eyes fond.

- yoongi, jin and namjoon share another Look of Understanding between them.

- they go back to the palace with promises to play together some more.

- yoongi does not yodel. jimin might have, though, simply because he wants to make taehyung happy.

- okay, yoongi may end up doing some weird dances when he’s in the mood with hoseok playing as his cheerleader while he does so. he also ends up bonding with the rest of the rap line.

- yoonmin still lives in the forest; but they do visit the palace from time to time.

- namjoon may end up asking jin’s hand on a date.

- their first date is cooking in the kitchens. much yelling is heard from the kitchens bc thats not how you drain it no NONONO namjoon-ah i told you to slice them not dice them wHY ARE YOU PUTTING YOUR HANDS IN IT NAMJOON-AH accompanied with some praises from jin tbh bc he’s soft

- jeongguk visits a lot. he may ends up having a crush on taehyung a few months later.

- the fic ends with hoseok eating another grapes in the mirror

- the end

[sourwolfstories]

what r some good long sterek fics pls help

Indelible Marks by billtheradish

The house never burned. The pack is strong. Derek will never need to be the alpha, and his sister is a troll. (Actually, most of his family is like that.)

Derek is an apprentice tattoo artist, and Stiles isn’t old enough to get ink of his own yet. But that doesn’t stop him from being interesting…

(This story is now out of buffer, but I will always announce when the next update will be, and am trying to keep to a regular posting schedule. Also, please be advised that this is essentially a rough draft. That doesn’t mean it’s riddled with typos, every chapter is edited, just that the overarching plot and side stories haven’t had a chance to be edited in full yet–but they will be. An edited version of this story will be posted eventually, so if the current length isn’t your cup of tea, just come back later.)

Home by TheTypewriterGirl

January seventh. Seven days since the start of 2015, and seven days since his father’s death.

The bastard, he thinks bitterly. The past year Derek Hale had made it blatantly obvious that he hated his scrawny guts, taking every given opportunity to shove him up against a wall, growl threats in his ears and roll his eyes whenever he stepped into the room, muttering some snide comment about how spastic or idiotic he was.

So why did he fucking volunteer to take him in?

Put Down in Words by paintedrecs

“Oh,” Stiles said, his voice coming out low and breathy, “fuck me.”

“I don’t think that’s on the syllabus, but we can check to see if there’s a spot open in any of his classes,” Scott said, grinning.

“This isn’t an actual professor, though,” Stiles insisted, unable to resist brushing his thumb over the sharp line of the man’s bearded jaw. He was laughing at something off-camera, the shot taken in three-quarters view, his coat collar casually rumpled and opened to reveal a sliver of a simple grey t-shirt. The whole thing was deliberately calculated to lend him a more accessible feel, and god help him, Stiles was falling for it.

*

When Stiles signed up for Dr. Hale’s intro to history class, he had two goals: knock out the credits his advisor was bugging him to complete before he graduated, and spend a few hours a week daydreaming about his sexy professor’s salt and pepper beard.

Derek, a few months away from turning forty and not sure when his life had started feeling so damn lonely, had never encountered someone like Stiles before. Bright-eyed, sharp-tongued, determined to throw Derek’s carefully cultivated world into disarray…and absolutely the last person Derek should be falling in love with.

Hallowed Grounds by damnfancyscotch

Everything in Beacon Hills is the same when Stiles comes home from college.

Well, except for the fact that he’s a published author now, Scott is halfway across the world with a travelling circus, Erica’s epilepsy has been cured, her boss offers him a job too, and there’s this weird black dog that seems to be following him around just to judge him.

Oh, and the murders, of course.

But other than that stuff… totally the same old BH.

The Boy and the Beast by Dira Sudis

In which events in Beacon Hills go rather differently from the start, and a Beauty and the Beast (ish) story ensues. (Scott is not a teacup and no one sings about their feelings.)

Love Thy Neighbor…He’s Hot by Triangulum

Derek and Laura seriously lucked out with Stiles as their neighbor. Yeah he can be loud, but he keeps it to normal hours, and he brings them food, they have movie nights, he’s so beautiful, and okay, Derek might be pining. The only problem is, Stiles has a girlfriend. And Derek HATES her.

OR

The one where Derek and Laura live next door to Stiles, and Derek has a completely out of control crush. A Sterek as neighbors one shot AU that got wildly out of control.

The Hollow Moon by thepsychicclam

It’s the summer after Stiles’ first year of college, and he’s working a crappy job and dealing with nightmares and anxiety - but he’s okay, he swears. He makes it through most days without too much trouble. Then, a certain werewolf comes back into town. Which Stiles doesn’t care about, nope, not at all.

After two and a half years, Derek returns to Beacon Hills with his small Pack. Though he tried to move on, something just kept drawing him back to Beacon Hills, he’s just not sure what. Now, he figures he can start building something like a life - but he keeps getting distracted by Stiles Stilinski of all people.

Permanent Fixture by linksofmemories

Derek is Scott’s older brother. Stiles is Scott’s best friend. Derek is falling in love with Stiles. This is a bit of a problem.

Wild Horses by thepsychicclam

Derek’s a drifter with no home, no destination, and no will to live. Stiles works on his family’s failing cattle and horse ranch while all his friends are going off to college. When Derek falls asleep in a random barn, exhausted and half-starved, he doesn’t expect to wake up on the other end of the sheriff’s shotgun. And Stiles sure as hell doesn’t expect his dad to invite the drifter in for breakfast.

Play Crack the Sky by WeAreTheCyclones

Excerpt from “Hale Pulls the Plug on the Future of Rock,” Rolling Stone, Issue 1203 – Oct. 2014“Fans and music industry vets alike are left reeling in the wake of bassist Derek Hale’s sudden departure from Smokes for Harris. At a time when the foursome from Beacon Hills, California seems to be on the cusp of rock superstardom after just one double platinum record, Smokes has everything to lose.”

Excerpt from “Smokes for Harris: Gladiator,” SPIN.com – Feb. 2015“Smokes for Harris gives in a little to the pop punk of yesteryear in their sophomore effort, but rather than pandering to fans of a lost era they elevate the genre in a way that hasn’t been seen in quite some time. Frontman Stiles Stilinski works double duty as singer and primary songwriter and proves that he can handle the task even without former bassist Derek Hale.“

Three Marks by sanam

"And then there was pain again, but this time it was in only three places—his arm, below his clavicle, and next to his heart, all on the left side. It felt like the skin was being sliced apart, ripped open, flayed off—And suddenly it was done.Derek looked across the room and saw the boy on the floor, looking about as bad as Derek felt.”

Derek and Stiles learn that bonding is probably best done with ridiculous amounts of video games and maybe a little bit of time.

Windows by dr_girlfriend

Derek has a new neighbor who won’t stop looking.

Excerpt:

“You’re blind,” Derek said flatly, the anger draining from him so suddenly he felt almost woozy. His vision cleared, his claws sliding back into blunt fingernails.

“Thanks for the memo, genius,” the kid said acidly. “I can still fucking defend myself, so don’t take another damn step.”

“Fuck, I…I’m sorry,” Derek stuttered.

“What?!” The kid’s brow crinkled. “I mean — what?! You’re fucking sorry!?” His lips thinned into a harsh line. “What, is this some kinda Hallmark movie where you’re discovering the error of your ways because you don’t want to rob a blind person?! That’s fucking condescending, man. I’ll have you know that —”

“Just, wait.” Derek interrupted what was apparently the start of a convincing argument as to why he should rob the kid after all, feeling his head start to spin. “This is — it’s a misunderstanding. I’m — I’m not robbing you. You’re — you’re safe, okay? I’m taking three steps back. Just — just let me explain.”

“Explain why you came busting into my apartment? Yeah, go right ahead, man, I can’t wait to hear this epic tale.”

Gravity’s Got Nothing on You by zosofi

“Three weeks,” Derek says.

“Still don’t want to,” Stiles says.

“I’ll pay you,” Derek says, and that… that has Stiles interested. Alf’s Antique’s may be a great job, but it’s not a high-paying job, and half of Stiles’s tuition is coming from financial aid, so…

“How much,” Stiles asks, “are we talking here? Because I know your family, dude. And it’ll be kind of awkward after.“

“My family thinks you’re some sort of fucking gift to the world,” Derek seethes, like he’s jealous, “they’ll probably be pissed at me when we break it off, so don’t worry about that. Five hundred bucks.”

“A thousand,” Stiles says, because screw ethics. Also, the Hale family is loaded. Derek can deal.

Dating Backwards by RemainNameless

Pornstars Derek and Stiles work for the same company. Derek only shoots with werewolves and Stiles only shoots with humans. That’s not going to change after they meet. It’s really not.(It might.)

Didn’t See That Coming by knittersrevolt

Stiles leaves Beacon Hills in the dust after he catches his husband cheating on him.

He finds his way to New York where he starts working for the Hale House Nursery, accidentally adopts a werewolf baby (through no fault of his own thank-you-very-much), and somehow starts training to be an Exorcist Emissary. So, in general, life was going good.

Then he hears that demons have found their way into his hometown. Can he face his inner demons and go back to save the day?

No Homo by RemainNameless

Stiles’ sophomore year starts something like this:3 FourLokos+ 1 peer-pressuring cat- 1 best bro to end all best bros= 1 Craigslist ad headline that reads “str8 dude - m4m - strictly platonic”.Derek is the fool who replies.

There’s Monsters at Home by calrissian18

“How did you get past the wards?” Derek had put them up, with Peter’s grudging assistance, after the Alpha pack had made themselves at home a few times too many.

The guy pulled a face. “You mean the wards a five-year-old girl with the mental ability of a goldfish could deconstruct?” He blinked wide eyes at Derek. “Gee, I don’t know. It’s bound to go down as one of life’s great mysteries.”

Derek despised him.

Prince Among Wolves by tylerfucklin

Looking for full day/evening sitter. 2 twin boys age 4. Must have exp. w/werewolves. Must be human. No pedophiles. No teenage girls. Pay negotiable.

Between Men and Lions by standinginanicedress

“I thought we could be friends,” Derek offers, to which Stiles gets an odd smile on his face.

“Friends,” he repeats, an odd inflection.

“Yes, friends.”

Stiles laughs, just barely. It’s more of an exhalation of breath than it is genuine mirth or anything else, and then he smiles. “I’m pretty good at friends,” he says with a tilt to his head, and Derek clears his throat and has to look away.

What’s Best For Everyone, Isn’t What’s Easy by gatergirl79

Derek is gone and Stiles is left holding the baby…well, a cheery three year old named Leah actually. While Derek searches for her mom, Stiles plays daddy. When the sour-alpha wolf returns with his ex in toe, things get strained between Stiles and Derek. Especially now that’s they’ve realized just what they mean to each other