#god tagging les am/s in this just feels mean

[shitpostingfromthebarricade]

Holy shit, the absolute massacre I am about to encounter.

[vanillawurld]

༊*·˚ Mi Corazoncito

✧.* Request- Anonymous

"Hii can you do a jealous joost like he sees you with ski aggu and gets jealousss💞🤍🤍"

✧.* Pair - Joost Klein x Fem! Reader (Slightly Ski Aggu x Fem! Reader)

✧.* Tags & Warnings - Jealousy, confessing, food(?) and tension

✧.* Summary - Joost gets jealous when he sees you interacting with his close friend. Seeing the girl he likes laughing with another man almost drives him insane.

✧.* Extra- AVENTURA AVENTURA I LOVE AVENTURA I LOVE AVENTURA AVENTURA NO LE DIGAS A NADIE LO MUCHO QUE TE QUIERO

✧.* Word Count - 1,739

Roomating with a producer can be a bit of a handful. There's always random people in their home, playing loud sounds, always hearing conversations or laughter. It's enough to make people want to move out, but not (Y/N). It was like that from the beginning though. She got tired of the loud noises and kept considering moving out, but that changed. She stayed because of the people she met. Her roommate introduced her to some of the coolest people ever.

One of those "coolest people" happened to be a Dutch musician by the name of Joost Klein. He wasn't just a cool person, he was an absolute sweetheart. He was a gentleman, some may say.

One of their first interactions happened in the kitchen. Joost was getting a drink out of the fridge while (Y/N) was reaching for a plate that was placed in a higher cabinet. She was tugging at the big batch of plates, she didn't realize the smaller ones on top were about to fall on her head. Joost noticed this and immediately jumped into action and caught the smaller plates. Joost asked (Y/N) if she was okay to which she jokingly responded with, "Oh my God you saved my life." That marked a new friendship in the process.

After that, Joost and (Y/N) started talking more, some conversations being taken to Instagram DM's or regular messages. Whenever Joost came over to work on new music, (Y/N) would be the first person in the room to talk to him. They easily connected and it was a euphoric feeling for both of them. As time went on, some feelings were starting to develop from both ends. The more they interacted with each other, the more those feelings got stronger. At first, it was a concerning issue for both Joost and (Y/N), but they individually came up with the idea 'If I don't tell, then nothing will happen.'

They never knew how hard that mentality was going to affect them.

It was another work day for (Y/N)'s roommate, meaning people were going to come over, also meaning Joost was coming over. (Y/N) waited on the living room couch for the door to make a knocking sound. Joost had a special knock that made (Y/N) instantly know it was him. It was the rhythm to (Y/N)'s favorite song. When she heard the rhythm knock, she shot up from the couch and basically ran to the door. She opened the door and was met with her blonde friend and another blonde that she didn't recognize. He had a pair of ski googles on top of his head which made him stand out just a bit.

"Hi stinky," (Y/N) heard Joost say. She smiled and gave him a hug and welcomed him and his friend in.

"How are you?" she asked Joost. He just just gave her a thumbs up and a dumb smile, which she adored.

"This is my friend, August," Joost pointed to his friend. "But you call him Ski Aggu because you're not his friend," Joost jokingly added.

(Y/N) smiled and rolled her eyes. She turned to August and put out her hand, to which he happily shook, "It's nice to meet you, my name's (Y/N)."

"It's lovely to meet you too, my friend Joost was telling me all about you," His voice and accent were deep. "You seem like a fun girl to be around," He continued, his tone changing just a tiny bit.

"I'd like to think I am," She replied. The atmosphere got a little thick in Joost's head. 'What did August mean by that? And why did (Y/N) even reply?' were thoughts going through Joost's head, but he pushed them away to not overthink.

The moment was put to an end when (Y/N)'s roommate opened his door, making everyone turn to him. "Oh shit, sorry guys. I kinda forgot you two were coming," he said, "The song's almost done, I just want Joost to make a bit more background vocals and then we're done. It shouldn't take long."

(Y/N) walked back to sit down on the couch and turned on the TV. She watched as Joost and August walked to her roommate's room to finish what they needed to do. August gave (Y/N) a little wave before entering the room, making her smile and wave back. Joost caught this and made him question even more, but didn't want to overthink it.

Before shutting the door, Joost turned to (Y/N) and jokingly said, "No girls allowed."(Y/N) giggled and told him to shut up and get to work in a joking manner.

Seconds turned to minutes, minutes turned to hours, at least that's what it felt like to (Y/N). (Y/N) never gave the work her roommate did any interest, even though she loves listening to music. It was ironic. But one thing she learned from her roommate, making music isn't easy or for the weak.

(Y/N) was distracted on her phone until she heard a door open. She looked up from her device and saw August walking toward the kitchen to look for a snack. She watched as he walked towards the pantry and opened it up to see what he can munch on. She kind of felt bad because her roommate didn't really buy snacks like she did. August was struggling to figure out what to get because he didn't know which snacks he was allowed to get.

"You know, I have a full bag of takis towards the back. You can have them if you want." (Y/N) suggested.

August looked at her, back at the pantry, and back at her. "Are you sure?" he asked. (Y/N) nodded and told him she didn't mind. He smiled and reached toward's the back to find a party-sized bag of chips.

August was about to go back to the room until he realized that (Y/N) was all alone. He felt bad leaving her alone while he was with his friends working. He wanted to get to know her, alone. He sat next to her and turned towards her. "You're really nice." was all August said.

(Y/N) giggled. "Thank you, but why are you saying that?"

"Well, I don't know anyone else who would let me have their full bag of chips, let alone a party-size bag," August answered.

(Y/N) laughed at his response. At the end of the day, it was never that serious, but (Y/N) loved when people took their gratitude to a silly level. "This guy almost never buys snacks and whenever he does, he eats it in the same hour." She added, referring to her roommate.

August and (Y/N) continued their conversation that started because of a bag of chips. August kept making (Y/N) laugh with his responds and comments, which caught the attention of another musician in the very next room. "Damn, bro. He's taking your girl," Joost's producer friend jokingly said. Joost lightly punched him on the shoulder and got up to "Investigate."

When Joost walked out the room, he instantly noticed how close August was sitting next to (Y/N). That made his stomach feel weird. He hated watching another man make (Y/N) laugh, especially if it was one of his friends. He wanted to jump into the conversation so he didn't feel left out. "Guys, i'm kind of hungry," was all he said to break their conversation.

August and (Y/N) looked at Joost. "I'm kind of hungry too, i'm not going to lie," (Y/N) added, "I could door-dash us some food but.... I honestly don't want to pay that much for delivery."

"Oh, August and Teun can go get the food," Joost immediately suggested.

August looked at Joost and raised his eyebrow. "Why can't you go?" he asked.

"Because I don't want to and I need to record more adlibs," Joost replied. There was an awkward silence between the two blondes. (Y/N) didn't know why but she felt like there was weird tension between the two. The more they stared at each other, the more the tension was because thicker, someone could cut it with a knife. The weird moment was broken when Teun walked out the room and said, "Come on, August. You can choose what we eat," He was while grabbing his keys.

August mentally sighed and got up to leave with Teu, leaving Joost and (Y/N) alone. It didn't take (Y/N) much to realize Joost was bothered about something. "Are you okay?" she asked. Joost turned around and muttered about him being fine. (Y/N) was bothered by his response and called him out, "Don't do that. Don't. I know something is wrong, so tell me."

Joost slowly turned back around to look at (Y/N) and was mentally debating on whether he should tell her or not. He looked at the ground like a little kid that's about to get in trouble and sighed. "Honestly..." was all he could get out while making a quick pointing gesture at the door.

(Y/N) didn't understand what he meant until she connected the dots when she remembered the tension between August and him. She gave him a sympathetic smile and patted the spot next to her on the couch. He quickly sat next to her and she laid her head on his shoulder, making his heart race. "He can never replace you," she whispered to him.

Joost chuckled and reached to lay his hand on her cheek and jawline, covering her mouth. He felt like in that moment, it was the right time to let her know how he felt. "I like you, a lot. And I hate how a situation involving a man made me tell you," he confessed.

It was silent for a couple of seconds. Making Joost worry. "I like you more, but I still want to get to know you," (Y/N) replied. Joost smiled and looked at her.

"How about I let you know me more over dinner?" Joost asked. (Y/N) gave him a big smile and nodded. She gave him a quick kiss on his temple and got up to run to her room. Joost watched as she disappeared into her room. He finally got the girl he wanted and was once grateful for his envy.

˖◛. *. ⋆ Vanilla Speaks

im back because im bored. writing with nails is hard so sorry if theres mistakes </3

it took a mid ass man to break my heart to get me to come back onto here

[kittyymew]

Overstimulation- Part 4

Link to- Part 1. Part 2. Part 3.

Tagging- @junseonghao

**

"What the fuck brat. That's the hottest thing I've ever seen... fuck this. I'm going to fuck your brains out and I am going to make you squirt again..."

**

Levi doesn't even wait for your response and he holds your legs wide open and pushes his length inside you, his cock barely going halfway through, even with all the lube. You groan, your legs trying to close subconsciously. Levi lets out a grunt and you can see him trying his best to not lose control.

"So fucking tight... even after all that..." Levi says as he forces your legs open and pushes in deeper until he's all the way inside. He immediately starts thrusting his hips, moving in and out of your pussy hard and fast. You moan looking up at him and see his gaze focused on your pussy, you blush realizing just how exposed you are right now.

"G-god! Le- I mean... Sir fuck!" You moan, Levi looks up at you and grins.

"Yes, brat?" He says as he leans down, your legs now basically over his shoulders as he continues pounding into your pussy. Levi lets go of your legs and rests them on either side of your head.

You squirm as his cock keeps going in deep inside you at a steady pace, you gasp and moan, unable to move much because of the position you're in. You've still not recovered from the Rabbit vibrator and here's Levi, pounding the fuck out of you.

"You're gonna cum again aren't you brat?" Levi asks as he leans down and kisses your neck. All you can do is moan in response as your pussy clenching harder around his length.

"Good girl... go ahead..." Levi says and bites down on your neck and sucking on your neck teasingly.

You moan, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as you cum for the 7th time. This time, all your squirms and movements are restricted by Levi who is on top of you. He continues pounding into you, instead of just slowing his pace.

"S-sir... I..." you cannot even form proper words at this point. It's just you moaning and struggling to breathe and screaming 'Sir' and 'Levi'. Levi doesn't even care anymore that you're calling him Levi instead of sir.

Levi moves, pulling his length all the out to the tip before slamming it back into you, hard. You yelp and moan, your orgasm building up again, and before you can process it, you're cumming hard again around Levi's cock.

He continues to move his length in and out of you at the same pace along with kissing and bite your neck leaving a few hickeys as you ride out your high. Just as you think he's going to continue to pound into you, he pulls out.

"I- what? Why??" you ask, your breathing still shallow.

"Well, I want to try something. Do you trust me?" Levi asks, his face going serious for a moment.

"O-of course I do..." you say, confused by his question.

"Good. Now turn around again" Levi commands. You just lay there looking up at him. You want to move but your body is still recovering from your last orgasm. Levi seems to understand within a moment and he leans down grabbing your hips and flipping you over with ease.

Levi grabs your ass cheeks caressing them before giving each one a light smack. "Ow!" you almost yell.

"Shh brat!" Levi says before I could say anything further. He squeezes your ass and spreads them, pausing for a moment. "You remember our safe word?" Levi asks.

You nod in response. "What is it?" Levi asks again.

"Bubbles..." you reply and Levi just hums in response.  You feel his length press up against your ass. You squirm and let out a small gasp at the realization. He slowly starts pushing his length inside your ass. You yelp and bite down on your tongue as he slowly stretches your ass.

Levi continues pushing deeper. You whimper and wiggle your butt. Levi grunts and grabs your hips tightly, his fingers digging hard in your skin, you're pretty sure that it's going to leave a few bruises on your hips.

Levi manages to push his cock almost all the way inside. He leans down, propping himself on top of you with his left arm. "God so fucking tight!" Levi grunts in your ear before biting down on your shoulder, his right hand still holding a strong grip on your hip.

"Mmm..." you moan in response, adjusting to his length in your ass. "Sir please..." you beg.

"Please what brat?" Levi says smacking your ass with his right hand.

"Ahh- P-please m..move sir..." you say, blushing at the fact that you want Levi to fuck your ass.

"As you please," Levi says, slowly pulling out and pushing his cock back in your ass at a slow pace. Both of you let out a groan simultaneously. He goes in and out of you a few times at a slow pace, letting both of you adjust to the new feeling.

After a few thrusts, Levi starts picking up his pace, he moves his right hand around your hips and starts rubbing your clit. You gasp and try to pull his hand away, as much as your restricted hands were able to.

"L-LEVI Oh GOd!! Noo!" you protest. "Try stopping me and I'll make you cum 8 more times!" Levi grunts, threatening you. You let out another moan as he continues rubbing your clit and you stop trying to pull his hand away, you just grab onto his wrists tightly, your nails digging into his skin as you try your best to not scream.

Levi just smirks and thrusts deeper into your ass, while rubbing your clit rapidly. You squeal closing your eyes tightly, your nails digging deeper into his skin as Levi continues fucking your ass.

You squirm, your head falling backward on Levi's chest as you let out a loud scream/ moan as you cum again, your body convulsing and shivering, although Levi doesn't slow down.

Levi picks up his pace, pounding faster and harder in your ass, you can feel his muscles and cock twitching, meaning he was about to cum too. But instead of just thrusting into you, Levi continues rubbing your clit along with his hard thrusts.

"P-PLEASE FUCKING GOD!" you scream, squirming, your body still convulsing like crazy and your mouth hanging open.

"One more time brat... I am close too..." Levi grunts, not slowing down whatsoever. You cannot even process what he's saying and you start cumming again, and you just scream and moan as you cum hard, you feel some liquid run down your thighs and make a mess on Levi's bed.

"God Fuck!" Levi grunts and with one final deep, hard thrust, Levi cums in your ass. Levi just plops down on top of you, both of you panting and out of breath.

"Shit," Levi mutters after a few moments.

"What?" you ask looking up at him over your shoulder.

"I didn't get to watch you squirt the second time!" Levi says as he sits up and immediately turns you around on your back and he starts rubbing your clit again.

"AH- FUCK NO!" you scream out, your body jerking and spasming just at the slightest touch.

Levi just grabs your ankles pulling you closer and continues to rub your clit. "BUBBLES!!" you scream out. At that Levi stops immediately looking up at you wide-eyed.

You look at Levi with pleading eyes, you can barely feel your lower body at this point.

"Oh damn you really cannot..." Levi mumbles dumbfounded.

He quickly reaches forward and un-cuff your hands. " Did I go too far?" He asks looking at you worried. You shake your head and pull him in closer pecking his lip.

"I didn't realise you'd be that kinky... sir," you say grinning up at him.

"Shut up, brat!" Levi says laughing. "But on the bright side, I now know you're probably just as dirty as me, AND you'll get to brag about the things I do to your dirty little bratty ass to your little friends without being embarrassed about me or our sex life...." Levi continues.

"Embarrassed? About you? or our sex life? Excuse me what?" You look up at him shocked.

"Levi, God! You fucking idiot! I was not embarrassed about the fact that you made me cum just twice! I was blushing because I kept thinking about you..." You pause to look at Levi and he is just staring at you with his eyebrow raised.

"I kept thinking about you... NAKED..."  you admit, your face turning red again. Levi's expressions turn into a smirk and he laughs again.

"Well, my bad I guess... although I have zero regrets!" He says and you just laugh with him shaking your head.

"Well help me clean up now, I can barely move my body and we have training at 8 tomorrow!" you say as Levi just leans in pecking your lips.

"You mean I got training with the other brats tomorrow. You cannot even move how do you expect to practice?" Levi says with a smug grin on his face.

"Shut up just help me right now!"

"Yes yes sheesh. The only place you're allowed to talk to me like that is in the bedroom and you make sure you make full use of that opportunity! Fucking Brat!" Levi says laughing as he gets up and helps you clean up.

"Well but you still like me!" You say grinning. "That I do you brat!" Levi says smiling like a goof, making sure you don't see him smiling and blushing like that.

Levi helps you clean up and you spend the night in his room as he cuddles you and caresses your sore ass and muscles gently until you fall asleep.

*******

Hello loves, this was the end of the 'Overstimulation' chapters and I hope the ending did not disappoint you.

[thesolotomyhan]

ramon arellano felix as a dad would include

a/n: heyy mis carinos youre favorite clown is back with something none of you guys asked yet here i am sharing this with you all i was soft but also because i havent written anything for my arellano boys in a minute and i got inspired wow anyways i hope you guys enjoy my desmadre

taglist: @fandomnerd16​ @visintaes​ @sheeshgivemeabreak​ @artemiseamoon​ @umvirgo​ @redhairedace 

let me know if you want to be tagged! 

ok right off i want to mention ME MUERO imagining ramon with the mini versions of himself

like he would be the fun dad thats always playing with his kids and always wanting to be around them constantly :(

but also my heart hurts imagining this ball of emotions being so happy about having kids with you

like i cant with the thought of him in the very moment you tell him youre pregnant-

like this soft ass moment where hes just in disbelief,, holding your face- “embarazada? de verdad princesa?”

i just- him being so excited,, wanting to hear you say it again and again before he picks you up from so much excitement :((

wow would not even hold back before hes already walking you both over to announce it to all his siblings :(

and like enedina would be the most excited because you know she would :( and i just have a feeling dina is going to go all the fucking way to be the consentida aunt :((

wow? um she definitely gives me the vibes of her always being around you to make sure your ok,, making sure you and her little niece/nephew have everything available to you within arms reach-

because she adores you with mon :(

but also ramon being constantly worried about you when hes not with you even tho he knows youre the safest person breathing in mexico

and because he knows dina is there with you all the time puts him a little at ease-

like omg if something,, even the slightest look,, happens to you or your kid, he would shoot up all of tijuana becasue no one touches his familia- his overprotectiveness goes through the roof- i

i am crying at the thought of him always kneeling down and talking to your stomach,, like that is a daily thing he does all the time-

like :(( imagine him doing it right after you told him your pregnant or something :( i-

no but also because the very fucking moment he knew about his kids existence in you,, he would give up his crack usage :/

todo porque he wants to be the best dad figure for his kids :((

like he vows to that shit even more once he had his kid in his arms- excuse me let me go cry,,

im sorry this is supposed to be a dad hc yall im starting to get carried away-

BUt WOw i cant even explain the way i go soft imagining this cabron as a dad with his kids :((

because you know what i thought of that first came to mind?

UM NIEVE DATES WITH HIS KIDS ANYONE???

where he for sure would always give into them whenever they ask if they can get some ice cream for breakfast or something-

he would probably have his kids pinky promise to him to not tell you anything about skipping meals just to have an ice cream cone :((

and like having them happily eating their ice cream while he picks them up and sets them on his hip :((((

i am sorry,, but you cannot tell me park visits are not a thing right after having ice cream:(

like the thought of him pushing his kids on the swing set :(( or going on the slide with them is breaking my heart- :((

but ramon also being extra af with protectiveness with his kids :(

like him making sure everything and anything that could hurt his kids in anyway,, hes moving his kids away from them-

:(would make sure his mens guns and his own guns are away from his kids sights-

and moving a whole bunch of dangerous things away like in hard to reach places so his babies dont even get the glimpse of danger :((

all because he would never forgive himself if something he could have prevented hurts his ninos :(wow

:((((( AH he would love styling his kids hair all the TIME

omg i fucking cant at the thought of him having a daughter and loving to braid or putting his daughters hair in these little pigtails??? :(((

like him sitting her on his lap in the morning,, the both of them watching some kids show on the tv as hes just gently as fucking possible brushing her hair out :((( why do i do this to my s e lf

and he would like,, give her a little kiss to his ninas head like “mi princesa hermosa,, la mas guapa de la casa” :( WOW

or if he has a son,, the mini fucking version of him and dressing him up in those pinshis camisas :((

im just- holding in my tears imagining ramon being the dad that would love to bathe his kids :((

and like him having all these toys for them too,, playing with them all the time just to make his kids laugh-

fuckk- he would definitely do that cute shit where he would gather bath bubbles in his hands and place them on top of his kids hair :(( no one look at me

him def being the dad to like,, burrito wrap his kids in towels after their baths :(( carrying them around the house while they dry :(((

bro? picking out their clothes?? for them to wear?? because he has style??? :((((( im sorry

would always be seen walking around with his kids sitting on top of his shoulders when theyre old enough-

like my mon is a toll bby and his kids love getting upsies from him beacuse of that :(

wow would this one loving blowing all his fucking money if it means his kids have the best birthday party in all of mexico even if its like their first birthday loL

just christmas and birthdays especially being a mf highlight for him because he buys so much presents for them to have

decorating the house from top to bottom,, every year it’s somehow better than the last-

ok but also him buying everything and anything for his kids when he’s out with them

like before his kid even finishes their sentence that they want some car toy on the shelf

his ass is already shoving it into the cart because his little angels will get ANYTHING their little hearts desire ok?

i laugh because you probably scold him at times that he’s spoiling them too much

but he’s always on defense like “mi amor,, dime como les puedo decir que no a estas caritas preciosas????” :(( like low key tho he loves consintiendo his kids because he cant help it :(

oh my god??? you know what just attacked my mind that it made me start bawling??

the fact that mi ramon would love dancing nortenas with his kid/ daughter :((((((((

OR THE FACT THAT HE WOuld love taking you to bailes-

dancing with you all pegaditos to banda or nortenas,,, tu by los elegantes de jerez anyone??

AND HAVING HIS FUCKING KID IN BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU :(((

im definitely not in the club crying my soul out at the thought of him kissing the top of his kids head and then you-

his stupid smile and heart eyes as he leans his forehead on yours and tells you “como te adoro princesa, por darme la mejor bendicion de mi vida” :(( someone pls come hug me

no :( i swear all i do is hurt myself because get this-

like do you guys remember when miguel angel killed off mi amor gueritos family?? holy shit could you imagine the way ramon would go fucking frantic to make sure that doesnt happen to his own family :(((

i kid you not he would go through anything to make sure you and his kids dont even get a single little piece of hair touched-

like im almost positive ,, family man ramon would fucking THREATEN to the max if miguel angel even looks or breathes in tijuanas direction-

wOW like when all the plazas got together and left in s2

and miguel angel saying some shit like “con cuidadito eh,, dicen que en tijuana anda bien peligroso,, no quiero que nada le pasa a esa hermosa familia que tienes, ramon”- ALL FUCKI NG SMUG WHILE MIGUEL THREATEN S HIM AND THE TJ BOYS FOR LEAVNI G-

good god- and ramon not hesitating for a second to try and pull his gun out,, all heated- im sorry for bringing that thought up

but overall just such a soft, overprotective family dad whos always going to be there making you and his kids as happy as possible :((

[rynnaaurelius]

Getting To Know You Meme!

Thanks for the tag, @buthappysoverrated <3

Rules: tag a few people you want to know better; make a new post, don't reblog!

Favorite Color:

Hmmm. . .a dark grass green, probably. I associate it with some happy memories.

Currently Reading:

I've embarked on my annual re-read of The Once and Future King so that I can cry over Wart. I also just finished Iron Widow, which ruled so fucking much.

Last Song:

When We Were Young - Adele

(This is because writing, I swear)

Last Movie:

Pirated Spider-Man: No Way Home the other day. Would give it a solid 3/5, most of which is earned by Andrew Garfield and the MCU remembering that Rule #1 of writing Spider-Man is that Peter Parker Must Suffer.

Last Series:

I just finished binging Our Flag Means Death—which means I'm probably about to finally watch Black Sails.

Sweet, Savory, or Spicy:

Sweet!

Coffee or Tea:

Tea, with enough milk and sugar to barely qualify.

Three Ships:

1. Jim Kirk/Spock, because those sixties housewives were onto something with that particular slowburn.

2. Nandor the Relentless/Guillermo de la Cruz from WWDITS, because I think vampire having a midlife crisis/unhinged vampire slayer is peak romance.

3. Enjolras/Grantaire from Les Miserables, because I will never emotionally be the same after Permets-tu?

First Ever Ship:

Kirk/Spock, TOS flavor. I didn't think the end of The Tholian Incident was gay enough, I stumbled onto fanfiction, and the rest was history.

Currently Working On:

Drafting the next installment in the Magician!Percy Jackson 'verse, while trying really, really hard not to get distracted by other budding PJO/HoO AUs (I need them to go away. I am begging them to go away and wait their turn).

Favorite Piece of Clothing:

I got a green and white rugby shirt for my birthday that induces gender euphoria like no one's business.

Comfort Food:

Pesto. Add in extra garlic and I'll eat a gallon of the stuff.

Favorite Time Of Year:

Early spring, when the snow hasn't entirely melted yet, but the sunlight feels warm again and you can see the tiny crocuses begin to bud. First snowfall in autumn is 1A.

Fave Fanfic:

Okay. Uh. Fuck. I have read so much fic (I have nearly a thousand AO3 bookmarks), so we're gonna pick my current Riordanverse fave, the series the grace of the gods is a grace that comes by violence is an insanely good trilogy of character study works, including a post-TOA Apollo and role-swapped gods (and demigods).

Also, the K/S brainrot is eternal, so I also gotta rec another I read semi-recently, Somebody To Die For. This one's incomplete, fair warning, but it's still a really good take on the AOS!Mirrorverse and how that twists the characters, pretty Kirk-and-Spock-centric, only with roughly two hundred percent more murder and planned regicide.

No-pressure tagging: @evergardenwall , @fractal-baby , @thein273 , @foxyatlas , and anyone else who sees this, feel free to join in!

[suchababie]

I posted 38,961 times in 2021

1019 posts created (3%)

37942 posts reblogged (97%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 37.2 posts.

I added 19,231 tags in 2021

#barbequeue - 4619 posts

#mcu - 3897 posts

#chris evans - 2035 posts

#bucky barnes - 1961 posts

#q - 1531 posts

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Longest Tag: 139 characters

#my sole purpose of existence is being here on tumblr simping for white men who are either fictional or dont know who i am in real life lmao

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

hii, can you please rec some tony stark fanfic blogs?

Omg hiiii!!!! Of course!!! I’d gladly rec you some of tony stark fanfic writers out hereeee @kamalahkhan

And i just wanna add, the exact reason why i joined this hellsite last year is to come and search for more tony stark fanfics ahahahaha 💓💓💓💓

This list may change if i ever miss some blogs :))) i would like to apologize if i ever miss someone but when i do remember i will immediately put an addition here edited 11/1/21

@letsby , @mostly-marvel-musings , @another-stark-sub @patheticallysentimental @boop-le-snoot @slothspaghettiwrites @slut4tonystark , @tonystarkscumslutz @buckyownsmylife ‘s let me try fic @russiandoll-from-brooklyn ‘s just once part 1 and 2 , @sherrybaby14 , @shewhohangsoutincemeteries ,@avengerscompound also known as @emilyevanston , @canumoveurseatup-no @thran-duils has some dark tony fics @darsynia @bolontiku @ironlady1993 has some tony stark dark fics @heavenbarnes has some short tony drabbles also her three-part fic ‘Battle of the Egos’ is 😩💜💜

I just know there are a lot of tony stark fanfic writers out there. I’m sorry i’m limited w these bc my brain has a short memory storage sksksksk

To the wonderful blogs that I have tagged, maybe you can lend me a hand in here?? ☺️☺️☺️☺️💓💓💓💓💓

139 notes • Posted 2021-10-14 14:32:27 GMT

#4

Thank you @pepper-stark for the tag! 😄🥰✨💕

Rules: Name 7 comfort films and tag 7 people

In no particular order

Clueless

The Craft

Mean Girls

10 Things I Hate About You

The Breakfast Club

Miss Congeniality 1 and 2

Before Sunrise

Captain America : The Winter Soldier

BONUS (SORRY I CANT HELP IT):

•Thor: Ragnarok

•Legally Blonde

•White Chicks

Tagging! @babyboibucky @bitchassbucky @sarge-barnes-sir @yeet-me-out-tonight @mariestark @bloggingfromherbed @msmarvelwrites @countonthesun @lookiamtrying @whoth3hellisbucky

LMAO i went pass the limit 😌 its ok tho

ALSO anyone can join!!! I suck at tagging games in general

178 notes • Posted 2021-05-19 12:32:48 GMT

#3

Frank Adler x reader

A short impromptu drabble based on this post and this gif below eheheheh deleted the other post so that it won’t disturb the OP

Also there might be changes bc as i said, impromptu 😂 never planned this. An idea just came out from my head looking at this gif

Oh my god this gif is giving me thots

18+ under the cut (just a short impromptu imagine. Not edited lmao) please like, rb and comment if you like it :)))

Imagine teasing frank by sending provocative pictures of yourself with your sweetest innocent face and then he texts back saying ‘I’ll be there in 10 minutes. I expect you to lay in your back, legs spread with your panties and my shirt on.’ You got all excited that you quickly took off your shorts and positioned yourself in the bed the way he liked.

By the time you heard the front door slam, you can feel your panties pool with your wetness as you gripped the bed sheets at the sides. He isn’t there in the room yet and yet you’re so turned on by the thought of your Frank seeing you vulnerable like this. You just wanted nothing but all of him. It’s what it matters to you right now.

You were so preoccupied with your filthy thoughts that you didn’t know he was already by the bedroom door, eyes endeavoring your sweet body spread out on the sheet and lips smirking. “You’re in it for a wild ride, sweetheart.”

199 notes • Posted 2021-09-07 17:00:19 GMT

#2

Thots +18 under the cut. This is my first ever smut posted on Tumblr! Finally able to post it!!! And ngl i’m nervous ahahaha :) (tbh i feel nauseous of how nervous i am) . Shoutout to @bemine-bucky, @borikenlove, and @spicynudlesoup who witnessed the thirst I had for him that time lmao. Instead of Chris Evans RPF, I made it to Ari Levinson bc i love him

Pairing: Ari Levinson x reader

word count: 1,079

WARNINGS: NOT BETA’D. ALL OF THE MISTAKES ARE MY OWN.18+ ONLY. MINORS DNI. D/S dynamics, light dry humping if you squint, breath play (light choking), petnames, light degradation, language, allusions to punishment and smut. I think that’s it? please let me know if there are anymore warning that i didn’t include.

I give no permission to repost this work to any other media outlets. If you like it, reblogs are also very much appreciated. Comments are also a very good plus! <3

Imagine being a little lonely in a small house you and your boyfriend Ari shared, home near the beach where you can hear the birds chirping loudly as they try to hunt for fish and the soft and peaceful sea crashing along the shore. Ari told you that he was a little busy like usual, planning for his next mission in god knows where. He was dedicated to his work because he loved helping those who are in need, you understand that and you loved that for him, but you didn’t like it when he was too much invested in it and left you alone on your own.

You were his very supportive, understanding, and loving girlfriend. You were his very good girlfriend. You always take care of him, obedient to him. But this time, it was getting on your nerves. You had enough for being good for him, and you wanted to be rebellious once in a while.

So you threw into a cute pleated mini skirt that you bought a few days ago, a pair of cream colored knee socks that had ruffles decorated around your knees, and your favorite shirt, his worn out patterned white shirt that you twisted the front of it and tied, making it look like a crop top. You checked yourself in the mirror and put on your best bambi look, the look that Ari couldn’t resist.

You prepared some light snacks for him since it was still in the middle of the afternoon. You placed the food on the tray. Your sock clad feet softly padded against the cold floor as you grip the wooden tray tightly. You were a little nervous that this stunt was going to happen. How would Ari react? This was very unusual for you to do this; to defy him a little. Your mind raced with different kinds of scenarios which made your stomach churn lightly, yet your pussy had a mind of its own, she was already throbbing. You could feel your arousal seeping through your panties.

You were now in front of the door where Ari was in. Rustling of papers and his raspy voice that sounded like he was on call, you can hear his deep raspy voice behind the door which made your lower region tingle in anticipation and your toes curl. You took a deep breath, mumbling under your breath that you could do it before your already sweaty hand reached for the knob and twisted clockwise.

The door flew open, which made Ari startle by its creaking hinges. He looked at you, narrowing his eyes as you strutted inside, ignoring his daggers through the back of your skull as you made your way to the coffee table.

“Sir, I have to call you back,” he said to the phone and without hearing the receiver, he immediately ended it and tossed the device to the piled papers. 

“The hell do you think you’re doing?” Ari gritted his teeth, his arms folded against his chest as you still ignored him, but you could feel your heart beating a little harder against your rib cage. You bent your upper body down a little, making your little skirt rise a little as you slowly placed the tray on the table.

You bit your lip with a smile when you heard a breath hitched behind you. You could tell that he could already see your open slit panties beneath the godforsaken skirt; your pretty petals had its own heartbeat with your own nectar coating around it, begging for it to be touched and sucked.

“Son of a bitch.” Ari muttered under his breath, his hands turned into fists and he didn't waste time. He strutted towards you, wrapped his arm around your waist and his other hand on your neck. “Don’t. Fucking. Move.” He punctuated every word, each word had him rutting his already tented crotch against your ass, no doubt the crotch of his jeans coated with your sweet arousal that had leaked already in your inner thighs to the tight muscle of your as. You whimpered, because you were so turned on and also you were a little scared of what he would do to you. 

Ari had his chin resting on your shoulder, and he smirked. He barely even touched you, but he could already hear you panting. He felt bad for you just a tiny bit, because he was so busy with work that he neglected his precious girl. Right now, his precious girl was being a bad girl.

He tutted, tightening his grip on your neck a little that had you gripping his strong forearm. “Have I been neglecting you, sweetheart?” He asked, his breath tickled your ear  and his beard that you absolutely loved stroked against your jaw, leaving prickles against your skin that had your hands gripping firmly on his arm.

“Answer me.” He growled, releasing a grip a little and tightening it again. He was playing with you, like a doll that you are. “Yes.” You managed to squeak, tears in your eyes threatened to spill, not because he was hurting you; but because you wanted him to use you.

“It’s been a week, Ari.” You sniffed. You can feel him smiling against your ear. “Well, why didn’t you say so, honey?”

He released his grip from your neck and your waist, pushing you harshly towards the 

Couch that led you to stumble and land on the cushion on your knees.

“Bend over.” He commanded and you know better than to disobey him. You obliged, bending over that your chest reached the back of the couch’s back pillows and your knees were slightly raised from the cushion. You jerked a little when you felt his warm fingers touch the back of your exposed thighs, skimming the skin lightly like he was touching a delicate virgin, even if you were very far from one.

“You wanna be a slut?” He rhetorically asked, you just kept your mouth shut with your hands gripping the pillow tightly and your legs almost giving out.

“I’ll fucking treat you like one.” And with that, he flipped your skirt to your waist, completely exposing him with your drenched cunt. He swatted in between your inner thighs to signal you to open them wider and you did. “Good luck, baby. Because I don’t know when I’ll stop until I feel satisfied with my work.”

“Just so you know, I’m gonna fucking wreck you that you deserve.”

238 notes • Posted 2021-08-12 17:00:57 GMT

#1

I saw this on facebook (dont judge me. I still hate facebook tho)

OKAY first of all, please don't judge me bwdfuhwvuieqhwgbi i used to have no life before i got my job skskskskssksk

And i think its beautiful

388 notes • Posted 2021-04-03 07:56:43 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[thequeenb]

Pairings Poppy x MC

I could hear notifications from all the directions. At first i am confused but then each and every student turn around to look at me. Zoe beside me is frozen looking over her screen. Its The T isn't it?

I am used on being in that blog but no one ever looked at me that way. So i open my phone and as i do i regret my decision immediately.

Hello Loves,

You dont know me but i sure know one of you very very well isn't that right Bea Hughes?

Our dear Bea made her grand entrance into Belvoire thinking her dirt wont get in the surface.

Oopsie! Dont mind me i am just here to deliver the winner of our competition! Didn't you all bet who would sleep first with Miss Kingsley? My oh my do i have a winner.

Congratulations Bea Hughes, you are officially the biggest whore of this university but not for long, The Dean have been informed and guess what? You lost the crown but you won at love yay!

Lets all give Bea a warm goodbye. Dont get too carried away loves,

Kisses, The T.

I stare at my phone in horror as Zoe grabs my hand leading me to our dorm. Everything fades as i feel my pulse quickening. What the fuck am i going to do now? Am i expelled yet? Oh my is Ina alright? I can hear people cheering, others whispering and others read in total shock.

Before i can think further Zoe sit beside me on our sofa running her hand through her hair. "Bea listen to me we can still fix this, there is no proof of what happened--"

But she gets interrupted as our door knocks. "Dont open the door! Not now Bea" but i ignore her completely not thinking straight. I crack the door open and all i can see is two guilty eyes looking deep into mine.

"Ina.." i breath out as she enters the room

Zoe stands up awkwardly and Ina gives her a look i cant begin to describe. Her hair is a mess, her mascara is running down her face and her eyes look so tired.

"Can you give us a moment?" She manages to say calmly and Zoe does as she is told leaving us completely lost and alone

Ina collapses to the sofa exhaling deeply. What have i done? I was so caught up into my own fantasies and desires that i led both of us to this.

"I spoke with the Dean" she finally breaks the silence between us and i look up at her, tears threatening to escape my eyes showing my vulnerability

"She will investigate this matter further.. until then we should both leave"

I stay quiet until i feel Ina move towards me. She sits beside me not daring to even touch me "I dont want you to think that any of this was your fault Bea"

I can't look at her in the eyes, i avoid her gaze. One Mistake led to me getting expelled. Way to go Bea. I sigh wiping my own tears, this university was an opportunity for me to change my life academically and financially. But i blew my chances by giving in to my desires

Ina stands up gathering her purse "Goodbye Bea, take care of you" Thats all? She isn't mad at me? She isn't mad that she lost her job? No wonder i like mature women. I cover my face with my hands as i hear the door close. What the hell am i suppose to do now?

I gather all my strength as i walk towards my room. Zoe is nowhere to be found but i don't want to open my phone. People send me nasty messages, cruel ones. Most of them say how much of a whore i am and others are just asking how good Miss Kingsley was. Disgusted, but no i am the disgusting one, who kept pushing her professor to sleep with her. Now she lost her job, and i have to say goodbye to my dream university.

I take my suitcase out folding effortlessly my T-shirts. I wonder what Poppy is thinking. I am sure she will be more than glad i am out of the way, i am sure she is the one behind this all. I sigh heavily as i continue packing, that until i hear a soft knock on the door

Thinking that its Zoe I open it wide ready to be confronted by her warm hug but i freeze when i see Poppy standing in the hallway.

"What else could you possibly want?" I ask as i massage my temples. Gosh i feel so tired

Poppy's expression is slightly different. Maybe if you haven't seen her bitchy face daily you wouldn't notice the difference but i do and i honestly can't deal with her right now

Without another word she just pass through me and into our living room. She never lose that elegance about her, she is walking like she owes this place

"So Miss Kingsley" she says as she crosses her arms shooting daggers with her glare

I roll my eyes "Oh please i know well that you uploaded that"

Poppy looks surprised but she is back to her ice cold expression in seconds "Listen Newbee--"

"Ugh shut up!! For once close your mouth can you? Not only Miss Kingsley is losing her job, i have been expelled!" I take a step forward, anger flowing through my veins

"But you just take and take and take without thinking who do you ruin!" My voice now rose as i take steps closer to her

"And don't worry, this 'Newbee' is leaving forever and you will be forever satisfied" i spit out as i collapse to the sofa. I want to cry badly but i don't want to be vulnerable Infront of Poppy.

Surprisingly she is silent, until she finally takes a sit beside me. "Can you please just go? I have a lot of things to pack, let alone explain to my parents the situation"

I dare to look at her and her eyes are wet with tears "It was Carter, he did it"

"Ha! Nice one, why would he even do that? He stood up when Chloe--"

Poppy sighs heavily "I broke up with him because of you"

I gasp standing up as i fell my blood boiling "I swear i dont like Carter why would you even--"

"No Hughes! I know that, Gosh you are so annoying" she says standing up as well coming towards me

Taking a deep breath i feel the tears ran down my face. I don't want to leave this university, it was my only chance to change my scene. I knew that i wouldn't fit in, God i wish i would have never step a foot here. I am quick to wipe them away remembering Poppy is still here

But then i feel a hand on on back patting me uncomfortably "We will find a way out of this Bea" she says softly giving me a weak smile. I can now see clearly that she had been crying

"What the hell do you want Poppy? You dont need to do anything for charity as you say" i move away from her grip and she sighs again, this time because of annoyance

"Its your fault anyways! Why did you even sleep with professor Kingsley? What does she has that i dont?" As she spit these words out she places her manicured hand over her mouth before she says more

My mind goes blank. Did Poppy Min-Sinclair just admit she is jealous? I chuckle at the thought trying to brush these ridiculous imaginations away but then i see how horrified she is.

"Poppy.." i open my arms for a hug but then she dodges away. Ugh why did i even try

"Don't! This is Gucci and you will get mascara all--" but then she stops taking a deep breath

Instead she opens her arms and i lean in hesitantly. The woman i saw as a rival for so long is hugging me. The same woman who tried to humiliate me Infront of thousands of students. The same who tried to kick me out of this university is now the one pulling me closer to her

I can smell her sweet perfume that makes my scenes dizzy. Her hands are caressing my back and i am overwhelmed by the warmth she radiates. Maybe its the expensive coat but then she pulls me incredibly close burying her face on my shoulder

I am still surprised, maybe i am dreaming am i not?

"I like you Bea..i don't want you to go" she whispers in my ear and i get goosebumps. What did she just say??? I am totally hearing things right?

I want to slightly push her away and look at her eyes to find answers to my questions but she holds me tight

"Ugh dont look at me, i cant believe i even said this" she is totally embarrassed

"Oh Poppy--"

"Don't you dare say you like me too the way you look at Professor Kingsley--" but i dont let her finish. I get free from her grip and i place my hands on both sides of her face

"Do you mean it or is this a joke?" I say looking deeply into her eyes. She melts into my touch and thats when i lean in brushing my lips against hers. At first they are gentle but as time passes our kisses become more heated.

I pull away and i watch her shudder against me at the loss of contact "I asked you a question" i say breathlessly as i gaze at her sparkly eyes

"I mean it" she says trying to catch her breath

"You ruined my coat now it will smell like you Hughes"

"Is that a bad thing?" I chuckle but then i see tears running down her face

"No! Dont look at me its angry tears, why the hell did you kiss me!"

I try to comprehend what just happened but then Poppy holds me against her in an instant "i wont allow anyone to kick you out"

I smile as i hold her closer to me "I know, because thats your job"

We both laugh wiping eachother's tears and finally i see the real Poppy. The one without her dogs around her or other students expecting her to be harsh. Its just Poppy and me.

Tag list: @lolimugly @origmansello @greatestflirt-hero @mvalentine @otakufangirl-12 @sugarplumpnhoneybun @princessstellaris @coldbatfriendroad @lilyspencerswife @indecisive-choices @i-loveeveryone @kiara-36 @ognenniyvolk @somewillwin @it-lives-in-braidwood-manor @justastranger-passing

[aspiring-ginger]

Thunderstorms Ch. 2 (Fellowship x Reader)

Summary: Reader gets the Fellowship ready for bed, how the heck is she going to have room for everyone?

Warnings: Language

Word count: 2,496

Pairing(s): Platonic Fellowship of the ring x fem!reader, eventual romantic interest (Lord of the Rings)

Who do you want Reader to end up with? Vote here!

A/N: This one was fun to write! Reader is going to have some nice moments with each member of the Fellowship before the final romantic pairing is decided, so this chapter has a bit of Legolas! I am keeping a tally of who you guys want the reader to end up with, so go ahead and put your votes in lol 

Comments and feedback are always appreciated! Let me know if you want more!

Taglist: @thunderdog8​ @kathieycarrerarosshley​ @sleep-deprived-things​ @nabercnm​ @agenerallynicegirl @sammy201d​ @thefoxskinwalker​ @minimxno​ 

(If your name has a strike-through in it, I couldn’t tag you! Let me know if I spelled anything wrong, or check your settings so I can tag you in future parts!)

Masterlist I Previous 

You left the fellowship standing around your kitchen table while you went looking for candles and flashlights. It did cross your mind that the majority of the fellowship wasn’t even human so they might be able to see better in the dark, but you needed the light and using just your phone wasn’t going to cut it. It was probably for the best that you needed to grab these anyway, so you could use this time to process what the actual fuck was going on. 

No matter how many times you pinched yourself, the fellowship was still standing in your kitchen. It was fucking bonkers and you knew it. Hopefully you would be able to put them all to bed quickly so you could sleep and when you woke up it was all a dream and there weren’t eight strange men in your house. God, you hoped it really was a dream. 

You managed to find a few scented candles that you currently balanced in your arms as you returned to the kitchen. The hobbits were still seated at the table, busy whispering to each other with wide eyes. Aragorn and Legolas seemed to be discussing something in Elvish. They both seemed tense so it could actually be an argument, but honestly you had no idea. Boromir saw you struggling with the candles, so he strode over and took several from your hands. You tried to protest but he simply waved it off saying it was the least he could do for your generous hospitality. He helped you spread the candles throughout your house and watched curiously as you lit them using a lighter. You caught the hobbits’ attention as well when you put the last candle down in the middle of the table. 

“What’s that, there? You tryn’ to use some sort of a weapon on us?” Sam asked, eyeing the lighter in your hands.

You shook your head. “No, no. I’m just lighting the candle, see?” You clicked the lighter so the small flame would come out of the tip, then lit the candle.

“Is that some sort of magic?” Pippin asked.

“Why are you lighting the candles now? Don’t you have any torches or candles already lit?” Merry chimed in.

You handed the lighter over to Pippin so he could get a closer look. Wait shit, was that really the best idea to give it to him, of all people? Well, it was too late now as he was already twirling it around in his hands and fiddling with the trigger to try and light it. It was only a tiny lighter anyway, it wasn’t like he could actually set anything on fire….you hoped.

“Hm? Oh, it’s dark because the power’s out.” Merry gave you a blank stare so you clarified, “Our lights run on electricity, not fire. The storm must’ve hit a generator or something, so the power’s not on. I can’t turn any lights on without it.”

“Does this normally happen, lass?” Gimli piped up from his spot in the corner.

“No, we haven’t had a storm this bad in a long time, and if the power ever does go out it’s usually only for a couple seconds.”

“Well, the candles smell wonderful.” Boromir added with a smile. You smiled back and excused yourself to get them towels. Seriously, they were making puddles on your floor. You saw the lights flicker back on in your office as you grabbed them. At least that was one less thing to worry about.

“Alright, the power’s back on now, but I’m not gonna turn on a ton of lights because it’s late and it’ll be bright.” You explained as you handed out the towels. 

Tackling one problem at a time- the power was back on, and the fellowship was drying off. Now you had to figure out where everyone could sleep. This was going to be a real challenge. Two could fit in your parent’s bed, two in the guest bed. One on the loveseat, and either one or two on the couch. You had a small pullout couch underneath your loft bed you had since childhood, but that would mean one of them would have to sleep with you in your room. That might not sit well with them wanting to preserve your honor and hospitality. They had their sleeping packs with them and you had a sleeping bag as well, but you didn’t want them to have to sleep on the floor. Especially since you had no idea how long they would be staying and they’d been on the road for so long it felt wrong to make one of them sleep on the floor. You supposed you could clean off the couch that was downstairs in the family room, but it was sort of dirty. Sighing, you explained this to them, which they all assured you it would be no problem should some of them need their bedrolls. 

“I’ll give you a tour of the house, and then you all can decide where you want to sleep.” They all nodded in agreement. “So, you’re standing in my kitchen. Do you have any questions?” You asked as you flipped on the light.

“Will you show us how to use your equipment?” Sam asked, “We’d hate to have you cooking all by yourself. And I’d like to learn to help, if I could.”

“Sure, but we can worry about that in the morning. I think we could all use some sleep first.”

You led them throughout your house turning the lights on as you went. They didn’t have any questions, but you figured that all this was overwhelming so you didn’t launch into any explanations unprompted. 

After some discussion among themselves they came to a decision- Frodo and Sam would sleep in the guest bed downstairs, Aragorn on the couch also downstairs (he wanted to stay close to Frodo in case anything happened), Gimli took the loveseat and Boromir the couch in the living room. Merry and Pippin would sleep in your parents’ bed upstairs. Legolas insisted he lay out his bedroll down with Gimli and Boromir, he refused to sleep in your room.

“Please, Legolas. You’ve been through so much, just take the pull out couch,” you pleaded, “We wouldn’t be sleeping in the same bed or anything. I promise, it’s fine.”

“No, I could not. Elves do not sleep the way Men do, you need not worry. I will be alright.” 

“If you don’t need as much sleep as humans, then it would be alright if you slept on the couch! We wouldn’t disturb each other, and you don’t have to stay in there once you wake up. I just want you all to be comfortable. Please, it’s the least I could do.”

“Would it not be improper, my lady? What would your husband think?” Boromir cut in.

“What? No no, I’m not married. Nooo way. It’s just me in the house, my parents are out of town and won’t be home for a long time. Besides this is a...weird situation, but you’re my guests so everything here is yours. I would give up my bed if I needed to, but I have a feeling you guys wouldn’t like that.” They shook their heads. “There’s nothing wrong with a friend sleeping in the same room and hey it’s 2020 so it doesn’t matter what gender. At least for tonight. If you want to move tomorrow I promise I won’t be offended.” You offered a final plea. 

Legolas caved. “As long as it is what the Lady wishes.”

You held up your hand “Okay let me just get this straight- I’m not a lady. Just call me (Y/n), I don’t have a title. I’m not nobility or super rich or anything so you’re not offending my honor or whatever by calling me by my name.”

They nodded in response, but you weren’t sure if they would actually listen.

“Okay, you all can start setting up your stuff and getting ready for bed. I’ll bring pillows and blankets, and I can dry any of your clothes. I’ll get you all some stuff you can wear tomorrow.” 

You set everything up, the fellowship trailing behind you until their respective ‘beds’ were made. Just Legolas was left, so you told him to get ready however he needed and you would change in the bathroom. Oh shit. The bathroom. You would have to explain that to them. You called them back upstairs and quickly gave them a run down of the bathroom, water in the kitchen should they need it, and whoever was the first to wake would come wake you up as well. Racking your brain, there wasn’t anything else you could think of.

You set up the couch for Legolas, then climbed up into your bed. You weren’t sure if you should say goodnight. Honestly, why did you push so hard to have this elf sleeping in your goddamn room? You laid there contemplating if you really should say something, if it would be more awkward to say something or not say anything at all, it was taking too long to decide so if you spoke up now it might be weird-

“Thank you for the bed. Sleep well, (Y/n).” Legolas softly called up to you, breaking you out of your thoughts.

“It’s really no problem. Goodnight.”

You rolled over and tried to sleep. Minutes ticked by but you just could not fall asleep. Your thoughts were racing far too quickly. What if you said something while you were sleeping? Moved around too much? Made too much noise? Oh god, what if you farted? Why, why, why did you push so hard for him to stay with you? There was an elven prince sleeping underneath you. A real, actual elven prince. You flopped around in your bed to try and get a more comfortable position. Every time you did, you paused and winced realizing that your huffing and rustling around could keep Legolas up, too. Seriously, why did you think this was a good idea? By the time you finally began to drift off, you had no idea if Legolas was actually asleep. He hadn’t made a single sound since he bid you goodnight. Well, you could just apologize tomorrow for keeping him up.

---

You woke the next morning to a soothing voice calling your name. You groaned as you looked around, who would be waking you up this early? Rolling over, your eyes met with soft blue ones. Oh. Legolas was still here, in your bedroom. It wasn’t a dream after all.

“Ah, good morning, (Y/n). I believe I heard some of my friends beginning to stir downstairs. I woke you so you might have time to dress before the hobbits bust down your door,” he chuckled, “They can get quite hungry in the morning, and I’m sure seeing a fully equipped kitchen has only made their hunger worse.”

“Oh, thank you.” You instinctively pulled your blanket closer to your chest. “Did you sleep alright last night? I’m sorry if I kept you up.”

Legolas’s laughter was bright and clear. “You needn’t worry. The dwarf snores far louder than your tossing and turning. I was still able to dream. If you like, I shall step out into the hall so you may prepare for the day in private.”

You hummed in thought. If the fellowship really was stuck with you now, they would eventually see you in your pajamas. It might be better if it was sooner than later so they could get used to it.

“Oh no, it’s alright. I’ll just use the bathroom, you don’t have to leave.” You climbed down your ladder and scooped up a bra and a brush, sticking them under your arm in an attempt to hide the fact you were carrying your undergarments. 

You went through your usual morning routine, double checking to put on deodorant and a little perfume. The non-humans had sharper senses right? You didn’t want to smell bad, ugh that would be embarrassing. As you exited the bathroom you heard loud snoring from downstairs. That must’ve been what Legolas was talking about. When you came back into your room, you found Legolas examining your things. His attention seemed to be on your bookshelf.

He had taken off his outer tunic and bracers leaving just his blue undershirt and trousers. His boots and socks were neatly placed beside the end table next to the couch. His weapons leaned against it as well, the string removed from his bow.

“Would you like some tea or coffee? Wait, do you guys even have coffee?”

“Coffee is not a common drink with the elves, but the halflings might enjoy it. Everyone enjoys tea.” 

“Cool. You can pick out what kind.”

Legolas followed you downstairs and into the kitchen. It was still early, the sun was barely poking over the tops of the trees. Gimli and Boromir were still asleep and Aragorn appeared to be waking up. There was no sign of the hobbits just yet. You pulled out your rather large selection of tea for Legolas to look through while you started on breakfast. Who doesn’t like waking up to the smell of food, right?

You didn’t have that much in your fridge so nothing too fancy, but you did have eggs and bacon. You took what little vegetables you had left and added it to the scrambled eggs- a few mushrooms, some spinach, a little onion, and some cheese. You put some bread in the toaster for good measure. Aragorn came up to join you, taking a seat across from Legolas. He launched into a conversation with him in elvish after saying good morning. Eventually, Legolas handed you a box of regular green tea and you put the kettle on. 

The others began to shuffle into the kitchen when breakfast was closer to being ready. Aragorn, Boromir, and Legolas all offered to help, so you put them to work setting the dining room table and bringing kitchen chairs in to make room for everyone. You were quite pleased with what you were able to come up with, but now you definitely had to go to the store. Which meant leaving them home alone. Maaaybe not such a great idea. 

The hobbits seemed particularly happy with what you made, the mushrooms especially. Everyone happily sipped their tea and enjoyed their meals, making light conversation. Legolas and Aragorn were speaking to each other in elvish again, much to your annoyance, while Merry and Pippin described the dreams they had that night. Boromir and Gimli laughed on and added their dreams for good measure. It was easy to see how well everyone got along with each other, and the hobbits were kind enough to bring you into the discussion as well. This isn’t exactly how you thought your spring was going to go, but it sure was going to be lots of fun.

Taglist is open!

[cali-holland]

Golden Bullets, Ch 4: Moonlight Trail

Harrison Osterfield X Reader, James Bond!AU

Harrison Osterfield, Agent 007, was once the best MI6 agent around with the astounding reputation as a womanizer. Between illegal gold smuggling and black market trading of weapons, he finds himself deeper in his latest mission than intended, weaving himself into a web of the criminal organization, S.P.E.C.T.R.E.. At the center of it all is the one woman who’s never fallen for his charms- you, Agent 006, the best MI6 agent, the new assistant director of the program, and his new partner.

Word Count: 2700

Gif is not mine

Golden Bullets Masterlist

Masterlist   Harrison Osterfield Masterlist

Let me know if you want to be added to the series tag list

Warnings: discussion of violence/drugs, swearing

Featured Song: All Time High by Rita Coolidge from Octopussy (1983)

 ~ “We´re an all time high, we´ll change all that´s gone before, doing so much more than falling in love.”

+ “Where are you? Why do you hide? Where is that moonlight trail that leads to your side?” from Moonraker by Shirley Bassey from Moonraker (1979)

A/N: not much action in this chapter, but i’m saving that for chapter five and i’m very very excited about that chapter haha

~~~

You let out a groggy groan, your eyes fluttering open, just to be met with a dull pain in your head from the drugs last night, making you close your eyes again immediately. You tried clearing your mind, focusing on the sound of the DB10’s tires moving with the road, but the sound of Harrison’s music was too distracting. Somehow the normally soothing voice of Sam Smith just made your headache worse- and that’s when it hit you.

“You listen to Sam Smith?” You questioned quietly, opening your eyes just enough to peak over at your partner. The car’s interior lights as well as the streetlights outside were the only things illuminating Harrison’s face.

“I’m surprised you know an artist from this decade.” He chuckled lightly, his thumbs drumming against the steering wheel as he continued his drive down the nearly empty highway.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You asked as you shifted in your seat, stretching to get more comfortable.

“All you seemed to listen to going to Monaco was Nancy Sinatra.” Harrison stated and you felt a twinge of embarrassment strike you, you’d never have someone so blatantly call out your music taste, but yet again you didn’t exactly spend quality time with many perceptive agents.

“Well, I don’t only listen to Nancy Sinatra. I listen to other artists,” You trailed off, trying to come up with names, “I listen to Carly Simon.”

“As in “You’re So Vain” from the ‘70’s?” He laughed and you let out a groan.

“Alicia Keys.”

“Hardly counts.”

“She still counts.” You insisted, “You were listening to Duran Duran earlier. That’s not from this decade.”

“But I still,” He paused to let out a large yawn, “I still listen to more modern music. Sam Smith is very modern.”

“Where are we?” You asked, wanting to just drop the subject.

“We’ve got about half an hour until we get to Venice.” Harrison replied, glancing over at the clock. You took a moment to study him as he kept his eyes on the road. His hair was the most disheveled you’d ever seen it, and you’d dare to say he had bags under his eyes.

“Let me drive for a while.” You offered, and he glanced over at you like you were crazy. You could tell he was holding back from scoffing in response.

“A few hours ago, you were spilling your darkest secrets to me and then spilling your guts in the toilet. I’m not letting you drive.”

“Then pull over so we can get a hotel. You need to sleep.” You stated. Just as he was about to open his mouth to respond, you added, “As assistant director of MI6 and the lead on this case, I’m telling you to get a hotel.”

Harrison let out a laugh of disbelief, shaking his head at you, “I was just going to say, I’ll stop when we get to Venice. No need to pull the assistant director card.”

“I might as well pull it while I can.” You said, and he raised his eyebrows at you, making you elaborate, “M doesn’t want us to kill Le Chiffre, but if I see him, I will. I doubt I’ll keep my position if that happens.”

The rest of the ride into Venice was silent between the two of you. You didn’t particularly want to talk about last night’s revelations or the upcoming task of having to not kill Le Chiffre; meanwhile, Harrison had his own inner turmoil between trying to empathize with you, allowing you to take out the private banker, or following M’s directions of simply tracking him. By the time the two of you arrived in Venice and got a hotel, it was nearly 3 AM, and, with a six hour car ride behind you and an eleven hour car ride ahead of you, you two were beyond exhausted.

“This bed better be softer than the last one.” Harrison mumbled as the two of you stepped into the elevator. With one hand on your suitcase, you leaned against the elevator wall as he stood in the center, holding onto his own luggage.

“Surprisingly, Monaco had the worst hotel bed I’ve ever slept on.” You stated. The elevator came to a stop on your floor for the next few hours. The doors opened, and the two of you stepped off it.

“Really? I think the worst hotel bed I’ve ever had was actually in New York.” He replied, inserting the key card into the door. He pushed it open, holding it for you to go inside first. You paused once you’d stepped into the room.

“Scratch that. This might be the worst.” You said, eyeing the single king size bed in the room. Harrison blinked, stepping in the room behind you.

“Am I so sleep deprived that I’m only seeing one bed or is there actually only one bed?” He asked.

“There’s only one bed.” You sighed, setting your suitcase down near the dresser and opening it. You started to gather your clothes for the night. “But you’re still sleep deprived, and I’m too tired to even attempt to get a room change, so this’ll have to do.”

“Well, I guess I’ll take the floor, but, for now, while you get ready,” He trailed off, flopping down on the bed with a small sigh of his own. “God damn, this is comfortable.”

With your pajamas in hand, you turned back to face the bed. Seeing your partner so exhausted and sprung out on the large bed, you felt your heart twist a little. “Sleep on the bed, then.”

“What?” Harrison mumbled, sitting up to look at you. “No, you take the bed. I’m a man of chivalry, I can’t let you sleep on the floor.”

“A man of chivalry. Is that what you call yourself when you sleep with all those women?” You questioned, sarcasm dripping in your tone. For a split second, he pouted, before it grew into a smirk.

“If gets the women into the bed, then yes.” He replied, cockily. You turned, making your way to the bathroom as you shook your head at his words. He hopped off the bed to follow after you, “Look, it’s big enough for both of us. Besides, I wouldn’t mind sleeping with you.” 

“How lovely.” You rolled your eyes, and he shook his head.

“That’s,” He sighed as you shut the bathroom door, locking it to ensure privacy away from him. “That’s not what I meant and you know it. We can share the bed and sleep next to each other, nothing sexual about it.”

“Agent 007 not wanting to sexualize sharing a bed with a woman? That’s a surprise.” You scoffed through the door, beginning to change in the privacy of the spare room.

“You’re one to talk.” Harrison bit back, “You know we’re really not that different. We both sleep with the enemy.”

“Except you sleep with women for sport and you’re called a womanizer, whereas I sleep with men for strictly professional purposes and get called a whore.” Now changed into your comfortable clothes, you threw open the door, jaw clenched angrily at the double-standard that cursed your ‘profession’. Pushing past Harrison, you sarcastically remarked, “Sexism- isn’t it wonderful?”

“You’re not a whore.” He said, quietly, a new softness in his tone, making you look at him curiously. You could see the genuineness in his blue eyes, “You’re intimidating and, quite honestly, scare the shit out of me sometimes, but you’re not a whore. Anyone who calls you that obviously doesn’t realize they should be less concerned with how you handle your body and more concerned with how well you handle a gun. You use your assets like I do, like any spy would.” He paused, “You don’t like to be known as the maneater, but I don’t like to be known as a womanizer. For us being MI6’s top agents, neither of us are winning in the reputation department.”

You swallowed an uncertain lump in your throat, not sure how to respond to his unusual yet kind words. Turning away from him to put away your clothes, you replied, “Let’s just get some sleep.” 

Harrison wordlessly entered the bathroom to get ready to sleep himself, and you quietly climbed into the bed. You laid on your side, facing away from the bathroom and the other side of the bed, keeping to one edge of the mattress. A few moments later, he emerged from the bathroom, turning off the bedroom light as he did so.

“Do you- do you mind if I sleep without a shirt?” He asked.

“I don’t care.” You answered quietly, despite the odd feeling in your gut at his question. Momentarily, you thought it could be leftover from last night, but as you heard him discard his shirt and climb into his side of the bed, you knew it was something much worse- butterflies.

You lay on your side of the bed, waiting for sleep to overcome you, but it seemed to be taking its dear time. Meanwhile, it only took a matter of moments for Harrison to fall asleep. Your poor partner passed out almost as soon as his head hit the pillow, and you were left to listen to his soft snoring, little noises that you hadn’t noticed while sharing a room with him in the past. Yet again, the past few nights, you two were plenty far from each other and tonight, well, there wasn’t much space, especially when you heard and felt him shift closer to you in his sleep. You just about put Harrison in a choke hold, feeling his arm sling around your waist, but as you flipped over to look at him, your fight reflexes dropped. He was still asleep and, god, he was a cuddler. You considered shoving him away or even just getting up and sleeping on the ground, but then he let out a soft murmur of incoherent words, light puffs escaping his lips. Finally feeling a sense of peace overcome you, you let yourself lean into his embrace.

The next morning, you woke up to the sound of the laptop ringing with an incoming call from M, or at least you recognized the ringtone as that; your arms were currently trapped under the tight cuddles of Harrison, who was still peacefully asleep. With how heavy of a sleeper he was, you were surprised no one had murdered him in his sleep yet, considering how annoyingly loud the laptop was.

“Wake up, Osterfield.” You grumbled, kicking your legs harshly against his. He mumbled something, tightening his grip around your arms and torso, pressing you further into his bare chest, before his eyes fluttered open. His arms dropped from around you immediately as he processed his position, cheeks flaring red a little in embarrassment of his cuddly nature. You shot up from the bed, grabbing the laptop from the coffee table and sitting down on the couch. You open it, answering the call without a second thought. The screen flashed to M in her office, and you bit back a groan at how obvious it was that you just rolled out of bed- it didn’t help that Harrison was in the background, getting out of the bed and tugging on a shirt. Talk about the professionalism between the two of you for not only stopping Venice for some sleep, but also sharing a damn bed.

“Sorry, was I interrupting your beauty sleep?” She questioned with no actual apology laced in her words as Harrison sat beside you on the couch.

“Good morning, M.” You greeted, professionally.

“I must say I was surprised to hear from Moneypenny about Monaco last night. How did Britain’s finest agents get drugged so easily?” While her question was directed at both of you, you couldn’t help, but feel like she meant it more towards you than your partner. You were meant to be the one calling the shots for this mission and you were the one that drank the suspicious champagne.

“It was a mistake, and it won’t happen again.” Harrison replied definitively. Sensing how you tensed beside him at M’s words, he placed a reassuring hand on your knee, hidden from the laptop’s view; he felt almost protective of you for your actions last night, and, having been so vulnerable yourself, you were hesitant to lean into the security.

“It damn well shouldn’t have happened in the first place.” She let out a small sigh, “I know your next target was intended to be Le Chiffre in Montenegro, but there has been a slight change of plans.”

“Are we no longer going to Montenegro?” You asked, trying your best to not sound hopeful about never going back there.

“You’ll still be going there, 006. Le Chiffre has decided to host a charity gala tonight; and, seeing as it’s currently 11 in the morning in Venice,” She spat out the city’s name in distaste as if to question why you two had stopped there for so unintentionally long, “You’ll be taking a private jet to Montenegro straight out of Venice’s airport. Leave the DB10 behind, Agent 003 will be there shortly to retrieve it.”

“How is this different than our prior mission of interrogating Le Chiffe?” Harrison voiced.

“I believe you’re familiar with this woman.” M stated, and a photograph of Pussy Galore appeared on the screen. Harrison dropped his hand from your knee as he recognized the blonde, “Pussy Galore has been identified as Goldfinger’s personal pilot, and she has been spotted in every location the sniper has struck in.”

“She’s the sniper?” You questioned. You already thought the woman was a joke just because of her name, but now, she was the bitch that shot you, and you weren’t about to let that go.

“We believe so. Q traced her to Montenegro this morning. Your new mission is to keep an eye on Le Chiffre and try to keep him alive- he could prove useful as an asset to take down Goldfinger or he could be the perfect bait to get the bullion smuggler.” She sent you a pointed look, catching how you clenched your jaw as a picture of the private banker flashed onto the screen, “As for Pussy Galore, bring her in alive. If she’s Goldfinger’s personal pilot and favorite sniper, she’s valuable to him.”

“Is that all?” You asked, and she shook her head.

“I need to speak with 007 alone.” She said, making you and Harrison look at each other in confusion. You nodded before getting up and leaving for the bathroom, deciding to get ready while they had their private discussion.

“M, the champagne wasn’t Y/N’s fault-” Harrison started, immediately believing that M’s private conversation was about your mistake from last night- that or she was going to strongly suggest Harrison take a leave of absence again.

“Last night happened, and I am not going to fret it any longer. I’m far more concerned with Montenegro.” She spoke, and Harrison’s face fell, giving it away to her that he knew already, “Agent 006 is my best agent, but by now, I assume you can tell she lets her emotions get to her. Four years ago, once she was healed, she went rogue for a few weeks. My only way of finding her and bringing her back to MI6 was a trail of dead bodies- all of which were connected to Le Chiffre.” Harrison gulped at the new information, his eyes flicking nervously to the bathroom door. Le Chiffre really did a number on you and you had the physical scar to prove it. “She will kill him at the first opportunity. You accused me of hiring her as your nanny for this mission, but now I need you to take care of her. Don’t let her kill Le Chiffre; he needs to be alive. Don’t let her kill Galore either. Do you understand?”

“I understand.” He nodded with a heavy head.

“And, for the love of God, no more champagne between the two of you.”

“Got it.” He nodded again, “When will Q be in Montenegro?”

“He had to finish a new prototype for 005, but he will be there tonight.” She explained. “Now, you two get to Venice airport as soon as possible; you have a gala to attend.”

Before Harrison could reply, M ended the call. Shutting off the laptop, he stood from the couch, already feeling anxious about tonight. The only reason he had a partner for this entire mission was his own mistake, and M didn’t trust him, but, now, it seemed like the tables had turned- M didn’t trust you in Montenegro. With each new piece of information, this was transforming into so much more than it was just days ago in London, and, without Q to crack the flash drive, all Harrison could do was keep you from killing the two people that could lead back to Goldfinger.

~~~

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[jimmythejiver]

For the first time in a long time I went to the movies in forever and then to Target. At Target I see some Godiva bars on discount yellow tags and I was ecstatic until I read 70% Cacao, Dark, Salted Caramel and was deflated.

Anyway that's how I felt about seeing The Green Knight. What you thought this was about chocolate?

No see since the pandemic I've been back on my perennial King Arthur kick. I've for a long time since I was a young preteen thought, someday I too will write my own King Arthur epic and it'll be gay, magical, gangster and culty too, but for now I'll make up my own stories for practice and then with every story I got attached too, it got too involved and convoluted to the point that when it came down to actually writing a novel, I threw it all away and made a space opera I only planned in two weeks and wrote in a month. Anyway...so now I've been writing this very gay, magical, gangster and culty take on Final Fantasy XV with my boyfriend and just fell in love with Somnus Lucis Caelum who nobody has any insight about him than to make him the Mordred to Ardyn's Arthur, which is a strange flex, but okay, I thought about what if I wrote a Dark Age prequel about Ardyn and Somnus, but Ardyn becomes king and Somnus his shogun and they play games of seduction and power because I'm twisted like that. Anyway...I was like I'm never going to write this and I have to keep making up characters based on FFXV characters and King Arthur tropes because there's not a lot of stories that take place during the Dark Ages, it's always some Roman Empire story, or High Middle Ages and FFXV gave no room for either society to happen after the fall of Solheim and the rise of King Somnus...so we left with Dark Ages, y'all, the King Arthur comparisons are obvious, but Ardyn is no Arthur and Somnus is no Mordred, Aera is only Guenevere if you make up an affair with Somnus, Gilgamesh is no Bedwyr/Bedivere, but uh...they both amputees and the oldest companions to their respective kings so...I guess. Anyway making an ancestor of Cor Leonis and deciding well he's Owain/Yvain, or am Ignis type as idk Sir Cai/Kay I guess, they both cook, but Cai's more like Seifer Almasy than any FF character... Anyway I'm losing people.

My plan was to just scrap the FFXV prequel, leave my Somnus ideas into Overtime (a gangster and gods story) and just plan an actual King Arthur adaptation. I'd have King Arthur the treasure hunter, leader of a warband turned founder of Camelot who fights giants, giant cats and dogheads, but also fights King Claudas of the Franks and King Aelle of the Saxons and Cerdic a Briton who puts in his lot with the Saxons, etc. It'd been a a glorified turf war, meanwhile Arthur's gotta make alliances with King Pelles, The Fisher King and his strange cult he's founded because, why yes I find the ends justifies the means prophecy of the Holy Grail Quest very culty because Christianity then does not resemble it now. Meanwhile you got the secondary plots of Mordred, Gawain, Lancelot, Percival, Tristam and other's going on because they matter and too many modern King Arthur stories sideline the knights.

So many have always sidelined Mordred as a final boss eldritch abomination in mortal flesh conceived of sin and give him no personality, or complex motives, or even just a relationship with Arthur. I also have noticed the general sidelining of Lancelot, or give him a chad villain upgrade if you must include him at all, and the villainizing of Gawain to the point that you don't even have to have Mordred, or Agravain as a catalyst shit stirrer in court, just slap Gawain's name on Liam Neeson in a top knot and you're good. Mordred can just be a child offscreen until last act...fuck that, while Morgan Le Fay can either be a villainess plotting her cabal through men, or a well-intentioned, ineffectual idiot. Fuck that.

Now Hollywood just be doing King Arthur first acts that suck ass, only for said director to get rewarded failing upwards by giving this same jerk the Aladdin remake. The tonally shitty, crammed in blockbuster mess of a cliche heroe's journey that sucks.

With that background I was excited for The Green Knight. I read an illustrative version as a kid, I read Tolkien's translation as a teenager, I read Simon Armitage's superior, but with liberties taken translation. I was prepped to go knowing that indie, or not they were going to make changes to weave the disjointed poem together. I'm excited that because this movie exists Project Guternberg's finally thrown Jessie Weston's prose rendition up on their website. I'll be reading that at some point when this blows over.

The movie adaptation makes a lot of...choices, many I wouldn't love, but would forgive had their been a payoff. There was none.

The journey was fine, the cinematography was a breath of fresh air after crappy slo mo, glossy action scenes ruined another. Guys, I don't think I want to see a Zack Snyder Excalibur, it'll marginally be better than Guy Ritchie, but that ain't saying anything. Leave Excalibur to the post-Star Wars 80s where it is impeccable for it's time. I liked Green Knight's breathable pacing, it's color palette's in the forests and mountains made up for the muddy grey of every Ridley Scott send up in the castles and villages in every other Dark Ages/Medieval story in the last I don’t know since the shitty 00′s. For all the dark tones when there was blues, greens, yellows or reds, they were vibrant in this movie to contrast the gloom of Britain. The soundtrack was good. This isn't all what makes a movie, but it enhances it so let's get to the story and what I did and didn't like.

Things I Liked: Gawain is still a novice in his career The Costume Dressing Everyone pronounces Gawain's name different. I pronounce it like Gwayne, or Guh Wayne, but here you got Gowen (like Owen), Gowan (like Rowan), or even Garlon who I'm pretty sure is the Fisher King's heir in some versions of that Arthurian story, so uh... The reference to Arthur slaying 960 men with his bare hands (Nennius for the win!) The Waste Land that is implied to be a site of a battle (an important aspect of the Arthurian landscape) The Fox companion No long grisly, drawn out hunting scenes. The Fox lives! No misogynist speeches

Things I'm Mixed: This being a dream, is the magic real? Are the giants? Is the Green Knight a figment of Gawain's imagination from a spell Morgan casted in him to hallucinate? Is Lord and Lady also figments? It's...a way to interpret the poem, but lazy and I don't see why it's got to all fantasy, or all dream...this movie makes it too vague you're stuck picking one camp than to accept it's a fantasy with dream and hallucinatory sequences.

Things I'm Meh: Morgan Le Fay as Gawain's mom. Look I fucking hate Morgause as a character and these two get merged and steal each other's aspects so much at this point the difference is who did they marry, King Urien or King Lot? Both are attributed to being Mordred's mom, Mordred is Gawain's brother...both practice magic depending on certain incarnations, both love and hate Arthur their brother and are in conflict with him. Saint Winifred. I actually liked this sequence, but I don't appreciate her as the tacked on wife in the later dream sequence as like...a contrast between the wife you should marry than the whore next door you don't respect anyway? I don't even know what lesson I'm supposed to get out of the damn dream sequence, or any of it? That Gawain should've married his girlfriend and then he'd be a just ruler? That he shouldn't be king? That he'd never have to make the same heartless, impartial choices? I don't know, he seemed like a king doing king shit because guess what? It never gets easier. Wars will be waged. The world didn't become better because he married the right woman, respected her and lived in obscurity. The world didn't become better because he made her his queen. We certainly don't know the world would be better Gawain had his head chopped off and dead XP They never reveal the Lord and the Green Knight as one and the same because of this shit.

Things I Hated: Arthur withdraws from the challenge because he's old. In poem he takes it on and Gawain takes it so he don't have to and he finds himself more disposable than the king. Gawain only takes the challenge because of arrogance. Arthur and Gawain had no prior personal relationship. I'd not have hated this so much if it wasn't compounded by it cancelling out the first two things. Gawain is portrayed as having no respect for his woman, or any woman, maybe his mother? He has to be pushed by Winifred to regain her head. Gawain is portrayed as arrogant, covetous and ready to pass the buck, or the bare minimum than have any honor or decency. It didn't matter the kid in the wasteland was shithead bandit, the way Gawain acted towards him, when he gets robbed, it almost feels like he deserved it and Gawain doesn't learn a damn lesson. I'll admit him taking the sword to cut his ropes and cutting his hands was a neat sequence, it shows him go from stupid, to almost clever and having will to survive...you know traits he had in the poem, but he stops showing these traits or growing. Basically Gawain has to be dragged kicking and screaming to help people and shows no fortitude when facing temptation, or when showing respect towards others, it's exhausting. You don't make this kind of journey story without character growth. Why are you skipping this? Also is it just me, or is this like when you take Frank Miller Batman and transport him onto a Bill Finger story? This is at best Thomas Malory Gawain (and this is charitable) transported on the earlier Pearl Poet's story. Stop it. It's not tonally correct and goes at odds with the story and the set up characterization you'd need to tell it. Speaking of which, you know how I get through the oof... of Liam Neeson Gawain in Excalibur? By pretending he Agravain instead. Here...I don't even think Gawain could pass as Mordred in spite of his covetous nature, lust and entitlement. Why? because I don't think even Mordred is this dumb to warrant this hubris. Essel being invented as a tacked on love interest just to be shit on utterly and for what? I don't think I have much commentary here as there is no Essel I'm aware of to compare, or stack up. I just notice this trope of like...usually if you include a sex worker in Hollywood she often has a heart of gold, she often has her own sense of values that goes at odds with society, but is more true and less hypocritical than a privileged lady’s. I thought that's what they would've done with the added trope of back at home sweetheart to contrast and pit her against the despicable femme fatale of Lady Bertilak and her adultery and her ladyship...and I'm glad they didn't...but you did nothing with Essel than to shit on her for existing when you made her exist, you know. Lady Bertilak being portrayed as the seductress devil incarnate. Look I know adultery is a touchy taboo, but uh her and Gawain hit it off in the poem, dammit! Her values and his values come to clash, but here it's played off as Gawain is stupid and covetous and Lady Bertilak wants to prove something because...? If my brother's theory that she's a figment of Morgan Le Fay's magic, then I'll take this as a lesson of Gawain is impulsive and covetous and his mom knows it, but he don't want to fuck his mom, but he wants her power, and Morgan wants to teach him a lesson... I guess. Hey we don't have misogynist speeches in this movie, but we'll make sure to have the movie drip with it with no point, or commentary. Pass. Lord guilting, extracting and initiating the same sex kiss and only once. Poem automatically better that Gawain don't have to keep being reminded to keep his part of the bargain and he does it willingly more than once. What he doesn't do is give up his belt...gods how did we get more homophobic as a society that the homoeroticism here is worse? Catholics of the middle ages officially had no issue doing same sex, passionate kissing until it lead to sex. The Ending: The gods damn ending. In the movie as is, Gawain waits to uphold his end of the bargain and get his head chopped off. He imagines, even though we don't get any fuzzy or distortion to indicate this is a dream, but I already knew this was coming, he runs away and comes home, is regarded a hero, he sees his lady, takes her from behind and if you saw Brokeback Mountain (I didn't, but DJ has) you know this is a sign of disrespect to women. He gets her knocked up, pays her off for the kid she wants to keep, he is crowned king, marries the ghostly saint lady he helped retrieve her head earlier from a lake in the movie (this right here is the damn tip off). There's no more dialogue by this point and everything is montaging, so you know by now it's a dream, though nothing is out of focus. He rules as a heartless king, his whore son dies from war he waged, he has a daughter, his wife dies. Gawain then takes off the belt that would've saved his life and his head falls off. This would've been the one good twist, except... In this sequence of events he never had his head cut off so uh... now we back in present day. He decides not to bitch out, Green Knight in a sexy way is like "now off with your head," movie cuts to credits with no resolve...uh what the fuck? What the fuck? This is not good. You wasted the one twist in your dream when idk, you could've...

How I'd fix it: No dream sequence at all. No Incident At Owl Creek twist. Gawain comes home a hero and survivor of this game and ordeal. He wears this belt of shame. He becomes a well-renowned knight, but he bears a shame. One day he goes to take off his belt and his head falls off because he cheated to get this belt and to survive this encounter. There. Done. Improved your high concept movie that couldn't play any of the lessons straight from the damn poem without making everyone an asshole for no reason! Ugh! But nope you had to end it on we don’t know if Gawain lives or dies...because...it's dream magic made from his momma's witchcraft...?

Last Thoughts So then post-credits scene because Marvel because Pirates Of The Caribbean existed. A white girl who looks nothing like Gawain's daughter we see who didn’t pay off, or any child I can remember through this whole movie picks up King Arthur's crown that dream Gawain inherited and puts it on her head. Who is this girl? Are we gonna have an indie equivalent of of the Marvel Movie Universe/Universal Horror Monsters thing with ancient British legends? We gonna get a Life Of Saint Patrick next that crosses over? I don't know. What is this?

[not-saying-revolution-but]

url song titles game

Rules: spell out your url with song titles, then tag as many people as there are letters in your url

thanks for the tag, @i-am-just-a-kiddo! I am always ready to talk about music

Absolutely not tagging 22 people because I am a sensible person and that would be crazy, but @circumference-pie, @tofufei, @angelxhunter, @ahlanzhan, here’s a tag if you’d like to share!

Generally pulling from songs I’ve listened to recently, though a person only has so many v- and y- and u- songs. If something comes up from 2009 we get what we get ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Read on for commentary

N – Nothing is Safe by clipping. – forever thinking about the line “truth like death comes for everyone” in the context of LYB

O – Out Like a Light 2 by The Honeysticks and Ricky Montgomery – the original version of this song is a classic for me but this version, uh, changes the meaning of the lyrics a bit

T – Tactics by Japanese Breakfast – currently reading Michelle Zauner’s memoir (Crying in H Mart), so I’ve had the whole Jubilee album on repeat to get in the mood

S – Sinnerman by Nina Simone – a masterpiece, need I say more

A – Agnes by Glass Animals - not sure if I can articulate all I feel for this song in anything shorter than a novella, will not attempt

Y – You Wouldn’t Like Me cover by Sleeping At Last – every song is improved if it’s covered by Sleeping At Last, send tweet

I – Il male è grande e vasto by Na Sang Jin and Park Se Jun - asdfghkjl this is from the Vincenzo soundtrack... say what you will about the show itself, but the soundtrack fucking slaps and I will put that on my gravestone (I beg thee, how often must one make a playlist called ‘songs that make me want to join an international crime syndicate specifically so I can play them while doing bad deeds’?)

N – Nước chảy hoa trôi (Reborn) by Nguyễn Trần Trung Quân – I watched the music video so many times when it first came out that now I need only throw the song on to enjoy a little screening inside my brain! Love when that happens

G – Gang Gang Schiele by HYUKOH - I started listening to them idly while working a few days ago. It started out as “sounds like a good vibe” and then it became “a lot of these songs are actually really great” and now it is “I think I need to consume their entire discography”

R – Rainy Night in Georgia by Brook Benton – when I was much younger, I would put this song on during early morning workouts, which makes no sense because it is the definitional opposite of a workout song

E – Extrication by SHIO 郭修彧 – I quietly associate this song with The Ghost Bride for reasons that aren’t clear to me. Did I maybe see a video with this song for that show? Am I imagining things? Who knows, certainly not me

V – Vanderlyle Crybaby Geeks by The National – prime example of how I choose most songs based on vibes alone. I don’t even want to look at the lyrics because it would ruin the experience

O – Oh You Are Not Well by Chloe Foy – what it says on the tin! I particularly like the folk elements of this one

L – Le pré des corbeaux by Maxenss – this song feels like summer but is textually not very much about summer at all

U – Under My Skin by Jukebox The Ghost – I’ve been listening to them for quite a while and I keep thinking they’re going to break into mainstream pop and I won’t be cool anymore

T – Tujhe Dekha To by Lata Mangeshkar and Kumar Sanu – from Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge, which I have not watched in I don’t even know how long but remember liking

I – I Of The Storm by Of Monsters and Men – "Little Talks" was the anthem of my mid-teenage years. Since then, I’ve come to appreciate the rest of their work on multiple levels. Also, the music video for this song moves me to tears every time I watch it

O – Oh my god by (G)I-DLE – I heard this soon after it was released two Aprils ago and had a “wait... did I just hear a she pronoun???” kind of moment. I appreciate the aesthetics of the music video as well

N – Nar_C by Holland – my experience with Holland began with “the first openly gay k-pop idol? Yes let’s see what he has” and is now “I will listen to anything he creates and also I would die for him”

B – Bad Dreams (Stripped) by Faouzia – despite being obsessed with her voice, I actually haven’t listened to much of her work beyond this song? Gotta get on that. Nevertheless, the powerful vocals + piano makes an excellent combination in this version

U – Underdog by Mayaeni – another artist who I would like to explore more! I connect a lot to the lyrics of this one

T – The Way You Felt (你的目光) by Alec Benjamin – linking the Mandarin version because 1) I like it more than the English version and 2) I more often hear songs that are translated from their original language into English. This is one of the few (contemporary) English bops that I’ve seen a mainstream artist intentionally release in another language and I do respect Alec Benjamin for that

(this got real long, shoutout to anyone who read to the end <3)

[twofrontteethstillcrooked]

ao3 writing tag

Tagged by @sailorsally -- whee! Thank you :D

Name(s): twofrontteethstillcrooked on ao3

Fandom(s): By quantity, Les Mis just edges out Black Sails, followed by whatever we're calling the Star Wars sequel trilogy. Have also dabbled in the MCU and Raven Cycle and have started dipping my toes into Superbat (i.e. Superman/Batman).

Where you post: Here and ao3

Most Popular One Shot (by kudos): Seedlings, which is a florist trope modern AU Silverflint for Black Sails featuring my favorite flavor of mutual pining, Both of These People Are Idiots. (...To be fair to Flint, he is slightly less clueless in that story than Silver is, not that this is saying much lol)

Most Popular Multi-Chapter (by kudos): hahaha I have exactly one (1) multi-chapter story, and I'm pretty sure you don't even have to read the second chapter unless you like smut. Anyway, it's Febrile Affairs, which is Silverflinthamilton canon-era fix-it fic. There are some germs in it, which surely makes it relevant to current events?

Favorite story you’ve written so far: You know, um, not to be a weirdo or by any means to say my writing is anything like perfect, but I really like everything I've written and posted. (The 'posted' part is key here.) I am lazy, so if I've written it and shared it, first and foremost I wanted to read it. Picking a fave is basically impossible. That said, it's been about a year since Rise of Skywalker dropped, and I've been missing Finn and Poe, so today my fave is the body, an interruption, which predates and therefore ignores RoS. :)))

Fic you were nervous to post: all of them???? yes

How do you choose your titles?: BADLY OH MY GOD SO BADLY

Do you outline?: oooof not in the way I feel like a credible uni professor would want me to. Sometimes I try to work out the beats of the story in a kind of outliney A-->B-->C way, but it's not like my stories tend to have intricate mysteries or action sequences or long heroic journeys. My versions of characters tend to nap a lot.

Complete: no lol

In-Progress: hrmmm

Coming soon/not yet started: YES? Two. There are still many, many days left in this month, right? {panicked look} Anyway, ur up next, Silverflint and Superbat. 

(not together) (although *whew* that would be a comborama for the ages) (Why do I feel like James Flint and Bruce Wayne would immediately start competing for grouchiest person in the room?)

Prompts?: no? But oftentimes @clenster says something and that sets me off :'D

Upcoming work you’re most excited about: I am excited about the possibility, slim though it may be, of having the brainpower to finish any other story or snippet this year. 2020: Wait, what do you mean it’s almost 2021?

Tagging: @beanarie, @fand0mfan, @sunoficarus, and anyone else who’d like to play

[fanfics4all]

Everyone But Us

Request: Yes / No  Can you do a sweet pea x plus size reader or like Jordan Connor. Plus size reader or both lol Anon

Requests are open, but ONLY if they are Valentine’s Day related. (You can send from this list or make up your own!)<3 Have a nice day/night

Jordan Connor x plus size!Fem!Reader 

Word count: 1031

Warnings: Little bit of talk of Fat shaming  

Y/N: Your Name 

Y/S/N: Your Ship Name

PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY WORK, I WORK HARD ON MY FICS AND IT’S NOT COOL TO STEAL SOMEONE ELSE’S WORK! 

If you want to be on the tag list for anything (My series fics, specific character fics, or just all of them) All you have to do is send me an ask and I will add you! 

Masterlist 

(Not my photo, credit to whoever made it!)

Jordan and I have been best friends since middle school. That usually when you start growing into your body and I was never like the other girls. I was always bigger than them, but Jordan never seemed to mind. He was always so sweet and made me feel better about myself when everyone tried to bring me down. When he got the role of Sweet Pea on Riverdale he was so excited and he begged me to try out for season three. I told him that I wasn’t interested, but he managed to convince me. I ended up getting the part and Jordan introduced me to the rest of the cast and they treated me like I was always part of their family. I ended up becoming best friends with Vanessa and we always hung out when we weren’t filming and when Jordan was filming. 

“So, how are you and Jordan?” She asked with a raised brow. 

“We’re great like always, why?” I asked confused and she just smiled. 

“Just wondering since you’re totally in love with him.” She said and I choked on my drink. 

“I’m sorry what?” I asked in shock and confusion. 

“You heard me, you’re head over heels in love with him!” She said and I shook my head. 

“No I am not!” I lied, truth be told I was in love with him. I have been for years now, but I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. 

“Hey girls!” Mads said coming into Vanessa’s trailer with Lili and Cammie. 

“Hey.” We both said. 

“What are we talking about?” Cammie asked. 

“About how Y/N is totally in love with Jordan.” Vanessa answered. 

“I am not!” I lied again. 

“You 100% are!” Mads said with a smile. 

“Yeah, we see how you look at him.” Cammie said with a smirk. 

“And how do I look at him?” I asked confused. 

“Like he’s your world.” Lili said with a smile. I blushed and they all smirked. 

“You should tell him!” Mads said and I shook my head. 

“No way, there’s no way he’d be interested in me.” I said and they looked at me confused. 

“What do you mean?” Lili asked. 

“Well, you hear him and Drew talk about the girls they think are hot. They’re all like model skinny and I am totally not.” I said and they all scoffed. 

“Seriously Y/N, Jordan doesn’t give a shit about that!” Vanessa said and I shrugged. 

“What if he does? Besides I don’t want to ruin our friendship.” I said and they all shook their heads. 

“You have to tell him, he’s totally into you too.” Cammie said and I looked at her confused. 

“Yeah, drew told us.” Vanessa said and I raised a brow. 

“Really?” I asked and they all nodded with smiles. Before I could answer the door to the trailer opened and Jordan and Drew walked in. 

“Hey girls, Lili, Cammie, they need you on set.” Jordan said and took a seat next to me. 

“Yeah, and Vanessa and Mad, they need the three of us in hair and makeup.” Drew said making the girls get up. 

“We’ll be back, you two can stay in here.” Vanessa said and winked at me when Jordan wasn’t looking. 

“So, it’s just us now.” I said awkwardly when everyone left. 

“Yeah, we’ve got our big scene coming up later today.” He said smiling at me. 

“Yeah…” I said. I was playing Sweet Pea’s romantic interest and today we were filming Sweet Pea confessing his feelings. 

“Nervous?” He asked and I bit my lip. 

“Yeah, kind of.” I admitted. 

“We could practice if you want?” He offered and I smiled. 

“Sure.” I said and turned towards him more. 

“Okay, you remember the lines?” He asked and I nodded. Jordan nodded and the two of us got into character. 

“Alice, can we go talk?” He asked. 

“Yeah sure.” I said with a smile. 

“So, look…” He stared. 

“I already know what you’re gonna say and I get it.” I said and he looked at me confused. 

“What?” He asked. 

“You wanna stop being friends, I know that everyone talks about you guys hanging out with the fat girl behind your backs.” I said looking down. 

“That’s not what I was going to say at all.” He said and I looked up at him confused. 

“Y/N you are so beautiful and I’ve always loved you. Ever since that day in middle school where you walked into class all scared and nervous, it was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. I never wanted to be with anyone but you and it’s still like that to this day.” He said and I looked at him shocked. 

“I don’t think that’s in the script.” I said and he laughed lightly. 

“I know.” He said and leaned in until our lips met. I was in shock for a moment but quickly melted into the kiss. It was even more magical than I thought it would be. Jordan wrapped his arms around my waist and mine went around his neck. He pulled away and rested his forehead on mine. 

“I love you Y/N. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship, but Drew convinced me to tell you.” He said and I smiled. 

“I love you too Jordan, I have for so long.” I said and pecked his lips. 

“So Drew was right.” He said with a light laugh. 

“Guess the girls were right too.” I said and Jordan looked at me confused. 

“They said that you loved me.” I said and he laughed. 

“So everyone knew but us?” He asked and I laughed too. 

“Yeah I guess so.” I said and he pulled me onto his lap. 

“So, how about a date after we’re done filming?” He asked and I bit my lip. 

“Sounds like a plan J.” I said and he kissed me again. 

“Hey, we’re back- Oh my God, I told you!” Vanessa said making us pull apart. The two of us blushed and the girls all smirked at us. 

“I can’t wait to post all the Y/S/N pics on Insta!” Mads said happily and snapped a picture of us. 

Tag list: @les-bio-lie @tashy-bear @xrosesareredx @ashwarren32 @hollie-blogs @schisbro87 @lover-of-books-and-teas @nerdygaloresposts @alex--awesome--22 @teenwolfbitches2 @genius2050 @drw0301bieber @softgamerking @lady-of-lies @simonsbluee @ravenmoore14 @emo-godess-loves-you @hiya-imthatgirl @answer-the-sirens @mindsetjupiter @averysinclaire @mittelerde1999 @sweetest-peas @rousewriter @k-is-cray @camiconfessions @thecaptainsgingersnap @pettyjayy @cenyddtheunicorn @jacksxsouthsideserpents @lover2448 @thegirlallthebadguyswant @reblogserpent

[thatesqcrush]

À Votre Goût (To Your Liking)

Rafael x Reader. 

AN: Totally inspired by S*ared. Dedicated to the amazing @madpanda75​ who I had the good fortune of meeting. She is just the sweetest IRL!

AN2:  À Votre Goût is french for “to your liking.”

CW: NSFW. It’s smutty y’all. Language too. 

Tag list: @obsessionprofessional @ottosuricato @madpanda75 @glimmerglittergirl @melsquared79 @dreila03 @sass-and-suspenders @tropes-and-tales @mommakat32 @garturbo @southern-magnolia @niyashell @imjustreallynosy @whyissvuruiningmylovelife @evee87 @scarletsoldierrr @kscarlett1 @redlipstickandplaid @cesarofangirl78

“The elevator is out of service ma’am,” Hugo, the doorman replied as you entered the apartment complex. You sighed, exhausted. After a stressful day at work, the last thing you wanted to do was walk up what seemed like endless flights of stairs. You pinched the bridge of your nose. “Until when?” “Should be repaired by Friday,” Hugo replied. You groaned - Friday was three days away. “Okay, thanks. Any mail?” “Mr. Barba is already home,” Hugo replied. “He took the mail.” You blinked, stunned. Rafael had told you he wouldn’t be home until late - he had to prep witnesses for an upcoming trial. You smiled at the doorman. “Thanks Hugo; have a good night.” You removed your coat, in anticipation of the sweaty climb ahead and folded it in half before tucking it over your arm. Grabbing your work bag, you made your way to the stairs and began your ascent. By the time you got halfway, you realized you chose poorly with footwear as your toes felt cramped in the the toe box. It seemed like forever but eventually you made your way to your floor. You rounded the hallway and walked past the other apartments, towards your door. As you approached your door, a burning odor hit your nostrils. Alarmed, you unlocked the door. “Rafi?” You questioned setting down your coat, and purse on the mahogany console table adjacent to the door. You took note of the bouquet of red roses on the console and read the card that accompanied it: To my dearest Y/N: For once in my life, I don’t have to try to be happy. When I’m with you, it just happens. I love you. -Rafael You smiled and felt a pang in your heart. Setting the card back down, you removed your shoes and rubbed your feet quickly before making your way further into the apartment. The smell of smoke permeated throughout. You crinkled your nose in disgust before padding your way to the kitchen where the smell of smoke was strongest. The scene before you was utter chaos. The sink was full of dirty pots and pans, the island was littered with various vegetables, some half-chopped, some still whole. The stove top was filthy, with sauce spills and water rapidly boiling. A fry pan was smoking - and your boyfriend was sitting on a stool, his hand wrapped in a dish towel, grimacing. “Oh Jesus!” you cried out, dashing over to turn off everything on the stove. You noticed the oven was on too and when you opened the oven door, a billow of hot smoke wafted out, nearly blinding you and taking off your brows. You coughed as you stood fully again, turning the oven off. You turned to face Rafael, “Rafael what is going on? Are you okay?” “Do I look okay?” Rafael gritted. You took in the sight of the handsome prosecutor, noting he had better days. He was still in his suit pants and dress shirt, his sleeves rolled up. He had donned an apron, that read “Kiss the Cook,” to which you let out a small giggle. Rafael looked at you with an eyebrow cocked, his face annoyed. You say next to him and took his wrapped hand into yours and gently unwrapped. You hissed at the wound: a gash graced Rafael’s open palm. It had stopped bleeding but it very clearly needed to be stitched. You stood and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “I’ll be right back,” you replied and left the kitchen. Rafael watched as you walked away and then surveyed the destruction in front of him. He had wanted to surprise you with a homemade romantic dinner but he was a known klutz - something he was endlessly ribbed for. He tripped down the stairs of the courthouse constantly - so much so he kept a spare walking boot in his office; more often than not, he dropped his phone on his face more times than not while checking his phone in bed. Rafael was not trusted in the kitchen - many times he burned himself with a hot pan or cut a finger - like the time he tried to grab something from the food processor but forgot to remove the blade first. Unless you were around, Rafael stayed away from the kitchen and just DoorDashed meals.  Knowing his track record was against him, Rafael took a knife skills course at Le Cordon Bleu one weekend while you were away visiting family. He learned to how properly hold a knife (it should be an extension of your arm). He learned to dice, chop, batonnet, brunoise, julienne, chiffonade and then some. He purchased the best Japanese knives on the market, excited to show off his newly acquired skills.  The menu was set: seared bay scallops with a lemon butter and sage sauce and brown butter steak with kohlrabi salad. Rafael took the day off and spent the day at Grand Central Market buying the best steaks and freshest scallops they had to offer. Rafael heard the disappointment in your voice that afternoon when he said he was working late. Rafael made one last stop on his way home after shopping all morning - he stopped at the local florist and bought a bouquet of red roses. Rafael’s plan was to wine and dine you, and ask you a very important question. He had been meaning to ask you for weeks, carrying around the custom ring he had made. An emerald cut sapphire ring, flanked with two diamonds. The sapphire came from his abuelita’s ring that she had left him when she had passed - “para cuando te cases,” the note that accompanied the ring read. And now, Rafael knew his plans were shot to shit. The knife slipped out of his hands and he instinctively grabbed for it, slicing his hand in process. Rafael spent so much time trying to stop the bleeding, he forgot about dinner and everything began to burn and boil over. All he wanted was for the pain to stop and drink some scotch. Rafael heard you get on the phone - he tried to hear who you were talking to but couldn’t make it out. Finally you came back with a first aid kit and as if you had read his mind, a glass of scotch. “Who was that you were talking to?” he asked curiously, before taking a sip of his drink. “Just Lauren. She’s dropping something off later for me.” Rafael nodded. “Mmmmm.” You pulled up a chair and sat in front of him. Rafael watched as you carefully began to tend to his injury. He hissed and jerked his hand back as you dabbed his cut with hydrogen peroxide. “Rafael,” you warned. “Stay still.” Rafael grunted and you crinkled your nose at him as you continued. You blew on the wound and then placed a zip stitch on his hand followed by a protective dressing. “All better,” you announced, collecting the trash and standing. Rafael sighed. “Thank you cariño.” He swallowed his drink whole. He got up and moved to start cleaning up, when you stopped him. “Look, I can see you were trying to do... something. You’re hurt. Go pour yourself another drink and let me clean up. I’ll be much faster than you. Go change and I’ll be out to join you in a minute,” you replied. Rafael began to protest but you shook your head. You pressed your hands onto his chest, and closed the gap between both of you. “Amor, vete. Siéntate en la sala. Por favor.” Rafael sighed, defeated and exited to the living room. He made himself a new drink and turned on the record player to play some Grover Washington, Jr. The room soon filled with the tunes of the saxophonist. Meanwhile, you wiped down the counters and tossed all the burned and ruined food in the trash. You loaded the dishes and pots into the dishwasher and set it to wash.  There was a knock on the door. You heard Rafael answer and then the door shut once more. You met Rafael in the living room where he was sitting on the couch. “Lauren dropped off a bag for you. She said you owe her big time especially since you made her walk up all of the stairs.” You took the bag from the couch. “Yeah, yeah. I know. Be right back.” Rafael watched as you disappeared with the bag. He sat on the couch, arms outstretched with his eyes closed, his head resting against the couch cushion. “Ahem,” you interrupted. Rafael opened his eyes and his eyes widened, his jaw went slack. “Do you like it?” you asked as you twirled. “Lauren let me borrow it.” You were dressed as a sexy doctor: white thigh highs, a white doctor’s coat that was obscenely short and a stethoscope. “Call me Doctor Y/L/N,” you continued, not letting Rafael answer. “And I am here to take care of you.” You sat on Rafael’s lap, your legs on the outside of his thighs. Rafael moved his hands to your hips and he hissed as he moved his wounded hand. You gently moved his hand to the side, and pressed your lips to his. Rafael returned the kiss, his tongue tracing the outline of your lips, seeking permission to deepen the kiss. You opened your mouth to allow him in and your tongues dueled one another’s. You sighed into the kiss and melted into his embrace. *** You gripped the headboard as Rafael’s tongue lapped between your folds. Rafael devoured your cunt as if he were a starving man with his first meal in ages. You whined as his tongue swirled over your labia and clitoris. Your thighs quivered as he kept at you, alternating his licks with sucks and thrusts. You rocked against Rafael’s face, meeting his tongue thrusts. “Don’t stop, please, don’t stop,” you moaned. Rafael used his good hand to slip a finger inside of your warm sheath while he pulled off to take a breather.  Rafael turned his face side to side, alternating kisses and love bites on your thighs. “God damn, you taste fucking delicious.” You could hear the wet sounds his saliva and your arousal made while he finger fucked you. Your could feel that your thighs were sticky and messy. It made you even more aroused. You kept one hand on the headboard to keep steady and used the other one to cup your breast and pinch your nipple. “I’m going to cum,” you warned. Rafael slipped his fingers out, causing you to whine again. “Gorgeous, that’s the plan,” he growled and pulled you back down against his mouth. He continued lapping your slit and rubbed his nose against your clit. “Right there, right there!” You gasped as you began to unravel all over Rafael’s face. You swore you saw stars as you came, Rafael’s name escaping your lips. Rafael continued to fuck you with his mouth as you rode out your orgasm. As you came down to reality, he blew on your clit, causing you to hiss and jerk. You climbed off Rafael’s face and sunk down his body. He kissed you hard and you could taste yourself on his tongue. Rafael gave your ass a smack. You rubbed your wet cunt against his cock, which was painfully hard. “From behind,” Rafael requested and you nodded. “Okay.” You positioned yourself on all fours. Rafael took his cock in his good hand and smacked his cock against your ass. You thrusted your hips back, seeking fulfillment. Rafael reached over to the nightstand and grabbed some lube. Slathering his cock, he then rubbed it against your entrance before thrusting inside of you. You both simultaneously moaned as he filled you completely. Rafael’s thrusted slowly in and out of you so that you could adjust. “Oh fuck,” he groaned. “Fuck me papi, fuck me hard,” you begged. Rafael began to piston in and out of you, fucking you fast and furiously, as you requested. He gripped your hips tightly, ignoring the throb from his injured hand. “You like that? Is that hard enough for you baby?” Rafael grunted as he pistoned into you, the sound of skin slapping as he surged forward. You nodded and Rafael wrapped a hand into your hair and pulled you up, so that you back was against his chest, while he continued fucking you. “What was that amor? I couldn’t hear you.” “Yes Rafael, oh God, yes,” you babbled. Rafael let go of your hair and you dropped nearly completely onto the bed, your ass stuck up in the air. “Now that’s a sight to see,” Rafael groaned. The bed creaked and the headboard banged against the wall under your amorous activities. You reached down and began to rub your clit haphazardly. Rafael’s thrusts became erratic and you knew he was close. Your walls began to flutter, and you chanted Rafael’s name as if it were a prayer. “That’s it gorgeous, cream on that cock,” Rafael encouraged. “Cover that cock with your cum.” You wailed as your orgasm peaked and cascaded over you. Rafael chased his own release and it came quickly. His own hips stiffened and he held you in place as he spilled his seed inside of you. Rafael slowly slipped out of you and you could feel his seed drip out of you and onto your thighs. “Fuck that’s hot,” Rafael groaned, rubbing his sweat slicked face. You smirked and flopped onto your back, and pulled Rafael down onto the bed. You both were a tangle of limbs. You snuggled into his embrace, and listened to his heartbeat as his chest rose and fell. You traced your fingers along his chest hair, down to his stomach and back up, tracing imaginary patterns. Rafael pressed a kiss onto your head, snuggling you tighter. “So since dinner was a bust, want to get Indian or Chinese?” you asked with a small yawn. “I’m starved.” “Chinese works,” Rafael replied. “But first, before we order, I wanted to tell you something.” “What’s up guapo?” You asked turning over, so that you were on your belly. I — I had planned this wonderful night for you. I was going to make you a special dinner; I had taken lessons —“ “You took lessons?” You asked in disbelief. “Yes. I’ll get back to that - clearly tonight didn’t go the way I wanted it to, though it ended better than it started,” Rafael continued. You let out a low chuckle. “I’ll say.” Rafael pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Be right back.” As Rafael got up and walked away, you admired his naked rear. Rafael returned quickly. Before returning to the bed, he slipped on his boxers. “Y/F/N, I thought it mattered what I said, or where I said it. But it doesn’t. What matters is that I am hopelessly and irrecoverably in love with you. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” Rafael produced a small black box and opened it. You gasped at the exquisite sparkler. “Rafael are you—“ “Will you marry me?” Rafael asked. You looked at him stunned, tears running down your cheeks. You nodded, a huge beaming smile spreading across your face. “Yes, yes I will.” Rafael took your hand and slipped the ring onto your finger. You pulled Rafael into a kiss, and he pressed himself against your body. You wrapped your legs around his hips, and you could feel his erection. “What’s that about dinner?” You teased, breaking the kiss. “Suddenly I’m not hungry anymore.” Rafael’s eyes darkened. “Oh but I am,” he growled before giving you a searing kiss and then moving down your body. FIN

[aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaoldretired]

some p!g-drv3 theories (spoilers obvi)

First of all I think people demonize the pg versions wayyy too much because its a good way to be le sexy in like fanfictions. And i get it, villains are hot or whatever. and also hs is a horny age to be. But even the edgiest and horniest of teens aren’t like. that sexual/monstrous. its kind of insane the portrayals people are placing

maybe this could also be like me being older bc when i was early hs i was like yea its fair to place these super mature portrayals on a 18-22 year old they are like adults but young and now im that age and im like woah there pardner. might be an age/maturity thing. 

also like its normal for people to relate to and portray characters their same age in a similar fashion, but when adults write more sexual content about the dg kids i get hella fucking sus

idk where i was going with that first comment i guess its like a preface and in the end i think its important when characters especially teenage characters are morally grey not because they’re mature and dark/brooding but because they are still young and learning. fuck im older than like most of them, but im still young and learning. its good to be in turmoil and confused, especially the drv3 cast. they are more confused than anything.

which i think is a reason why people would join dr because if you are completely loss and in turmoil, it is appealing to be given a purpose in life and amazing talents/abilities. despite the morals of danganronpa, it is a simple reality to be told who you are and what to do

OK ONTO HEADCANONS (not doing all bc i dont have thoughts about all)

first of all i understand changing stories but i think, deep down, you can’t change fundamental personalities/values. so while the backstories might be different i think, in the end, a baseline is always the same

SHUICHI being a Bad Boy is like canon obviously but i dont think he’s as manipulative as people make him out to be. i think he falls in the more the bully role that like. mae borowski or tf2′s scout filled before they grew up. rough background, bad anger issues, lots of emotional turmoil, and the only way he knows how to deal with shit is by committing crimes and beating the shit out of people. and, similar to those characters, drv3 represents an older, more emotionally sober yet equally confused version of himself. the urges are still there as foreshadowed in the dialogue. i think he struggles with guilt, mostly survivors, but there is still a lasting impact of guilt of what he did in his past, even if he can’t remember.

KOKICHI is a child. a piece of shit motherfucker child but a child. I really do think he’s like one of the youngest people in the cast. he reminds me a lot of when my brother doesn’t take his adhd medicine and takes jokes way too far and does mean and cruel things because he thinks its funny and that its just a fun joke, but is hurting people. he desperately wants approval, which is why his leader role is so interesting because in the dr narrative he has the approval he craves and so he is satisfied. still, he does try to impress characters like rantaro and values his opinions a lot, even developing a brotherly relationship in the time they knew each other. this being said, its established kokichi was bullied before, but i dont think he’s like. the wimp people make him out to be. i think he’s more of like the class clown who desperately uses humor to make people like him, and ends up resorting to be the butt of most of his jokes. you don’t just develop a good sense of humor out of a brainwash, and that’s not something you can program in. i think that was a remnant of before, and he’s so good at bullying people and coming up with roasts - i just think that in p!g the roasts were about him.

KAEDE is baby but her p!g personality seriously reminds me of any ~quirky/edgy~ girl in a teen coming of age story who tries to be edgy and cool and act like she doesn’t care but deep down, she really does. if she didn’t have an empathetic personality, she wouldn’t want to end the game. i also think she has that self-identifying QuIrKy personality because its like she lives in her own narrative, practically announcing this story is about her and she is the protagonist. i know i used to self narrate like that and distinguish how i was different when i was like. 15-16. she has a tumblr. 

I really like the theory where KAITO is a make-a-wish kid who was better when he was younger but relapses later in teens. he never used his wish before, so he decides to use it now to be on danganronpa and become the hero he always wanted to be. i also think he might have joined as a way to raise awareness about adolescent healthcare. definitely the type who puts on a “heroic” character to make everyone else feel better about the fact he is literally dying of a terminal illness, and keeps that act up till the end. 

i think KOREKIYO is still a serial killer. i think honestly a reason why he mightve auditioned for danganronpa is because he is a serial killer. maybe his sister found out and he felt so much shame that’s why he auditioned. he probably mentioned why in his interview because duh, tell them im a serial killer and then only reason im coming clean is my sister found out and im ashamed, that is like a guarantee to get on the show.  i LOVE the theory that his sister is still alive, however, and has to watch her brother go insane because they wrote her into the story as the villain. because technically, she brought on this guilt, and is the reason why he auditioned - as a way to cause despair, twist it around so she’s the one to blame for his insanity. also, because its pretty accepted DR members become celebrities, kork’s sister is totally bombarded with paparazzi and is demonized in the media. she might end up writing a tell-all memoir about kork’s actual childhood and personality. quiet kid, thoughtful, interested in anthropology, she never thought he’d hurt a fly. watching her brother go insane probably destroyed her. 

I also think, timeline wise, kork is probably one of the oldest members along with rantaro. tbh i think kork actually graduated hs and went on a gap year doing the whole “hitchhike around the world to discover myself thing” which is where he began killing people. he was getting ready to go to college when his sister found out about what he did. this is when he decided to go on danganronpa instead of university. this would help explain why he knows so much about other cultures/travel/been so many places with so many memories/killed/is knowledgable on a level most other students are not. this would place him at like, 20-21, where everyone else is like 15-18.

ok so there’s two p!g RANTARO, p!g before 53 and p!p!g before 52. i’d like to establish now i think rantaro is the oldest of the characters, seeing as though he was already pretty old to begin with in 52, it takes time between television seasons, and he was in another game. so im placing him like 21-23, similar to yasuhiro in d1 being so much older than everyone else. i do think, in all iterations, rantaro was pretty much raising his sisters, though i don’t think he had twelve like the story (i think that’s an exaggeration, his sisters mean a lot to him, lets make him have a TON and then lose them all and feel GUILTY) rantaro joined the first game, partially to get money for his family and hopefully establish them as celebrities and let them have a comfy lifestyle, even if he doesn’t live...and also to finally ahve some sort of experience without his siblings tagging along. if he’s been raising his sisters all his life, he’s never had like something that’s JUST his. that’s his adventure. 52 is his ULTIMATE adventure. ahaha. mostly for money, kind of dreading it, still a tiny bit excited

ok p!g rantaro between 52 and 53 probably came back broken. he did the signings and appearances, but mostly wanted to spend time with his family and make sure they were set up. i think he knew the whole like few months between seasons he had to go on another show, but he did’t tell his sisters. his family found out when they saw a billboard with his face plastered on it hyping up the return of a fan favorite. yikes!

ok i get it a lot of people hate HIMIKO but i think she’s not nearly as similar as other “useless” characters in other games. its like, pretty clear she’s depressed, and the only thing she’s holding onto with dear life is magic. lack of hygiene, lack of personal care, constantly tired, social interaction exhausts - she has depression, but she’s not an UWU depressed character. so people find her depressive traits (which are some of the most realistic portrayals of mental health in the series) SUPER annoygin. she joined dr because she was completely lost and needed some sort of direction in her life, even if she’ll die for it. the thing is, even with direction, her mental state didn’t change because she wasn’t getting legitimate help. it’s like that one SNL skit that’s like. same sad you from before but in a new place. i also think she knows the magic is not real, because how could she not. i think she’s so adamant that it IS real, less as a way to convince others, and more of a way to convince herself. it’s like really super cruel that team danganronpa took a girl who is desperate for meaning and gave her literally a meaningless, fake talent.

i also kin himiko and find her a comfort character because i feel seen by her, replacing her useless talent of magic with mine of like shitty film making and comedy. i am seen.

related i don’t think she’s nearly as ugly as everyone says she is, i think she’s probably just depressed and takes absolutely no care of her hygiene and sleep and looks like sick and greasy all the time. same queen.

honest to god i think RYOMA’s backstory, tennis and all, is like 100% real and he’s the only one who keeps all of his memories except for the fact this is a tv show. i think he rolled up, a hot fucking mess, and the danganronpa team were like damn. we cannot improve upon this. 

[angelofthequeers]

Hold Me By Both Hands: Chapter 47

Disclaimer: I don’t own ML.

@smolplantmum tagged as requested :)

Chapter 46 | Chapter 48 | AO3 link

As Ladybug swings through Paris after Adrien’s departure, people stop and point and whisper after her, but she can’t find it in her to give half a damn about what they’re saying. Honestly, being Marinette would be way preferable to being Ladybug right now, because then at least she could go undetected in the crowd and not have to deal with the fallout of Adrien’s revealed identity nearly as much as she does now, because there’s no way that’s not what at least half the people down there are talking about.

God, what is she even going to do if Adrien does lose his Miraculous? Sure, she can work with another partner to get the job done, but…they won’t be Chat Noir. They won’t have that nearly-unspoken bond that she and Chat Noir have built. They won’t have the experience, they weren’t there on that first day when she was at her most inexperienced and her lowest, but she’s being selfish by continuing down this train of thought, she needs to do what’s right for Paris –

“Uh, Ladybug?” Chloé’s tapping her foot with crossed arms in front of Ladybug. Huh. Ladybug’s on the roof of Le Grand Paris. When had she arrived at the hotel? “Are you gonna stand there all day, or should I just go and announce your presence to Hawkmoth?”

“Sorry.” Ladybug shakes her head. “Just…got a lot on my mind.”

Chloé’s face softens. “Whatever. Just c’mon, already. Souris, Ryuuko, and Luka are already here.”

When Chloé had mentioned a superhero suite, Ladybug had been picturing a spacious hotel room; nothing too big, but certainly big enough for a team of six – now seven – superheroes. What she hadn’t been expecting, however, is a massive spread of three rooms to rival Chloé’s imperial suite, and her mouth falls open when Chloé holds the door open for her and she gets her first glimpse.

“I know, right?” Chloé says smugly. “Daddy nearly fell over himself to arrange it when I said that I came with a request from the superheroes themselves. It doesn’t have much yet, but I can get whatever movies we want and a mini fridge and microwave in case we want snacks or need to refuel our kwamis, and there’s only one bed but I plan on getting more –”

“Chloé. Honey,” Ladybug interrupts with a wan smile. “It’s perfect. Thank you for being so considerate.”

“Oh, of course.” Chloé tosses her ponytail. “Anyway, I’m gonna go back up there to wait for the fox and turtle.”

“Thanks, Chloé.”

Once Chloé shuts the suite door behind her, Ladybug turns to head into the right room, assuming the layout is the same as Chloé’s suite. Sure enough, she finds Ryuuko, Luka, and Petite Souris waiting on massive white couches, with platters of food on the table for them to snack on.

“Ma – Ladybug!” Luka’s eyes light up when she enters the room.

“You,” Ladybug growls, “are an idiot and I’m going to kill you.”

Luka’s face falls. “I don’t regret a thing,” he says. “I’d do it ten times over if it meant keeping you all safe.”

“Logically, it was the smart move,” Ryuuko says. “But I agree with Ladybug. I just might end up throttling you for it.”

“I don’t understand anything that’s going on right now, and I’m afraid to ask,” Petite Souris says, looking between each of them while blinking slowly.

“You’ll find out soon enough,” Ladybug says. Ryuuko and Luka’s eyes widen.

“Are you sure?” Ryuuko says.

“I’m positive,” Ladybug says. “Hawkmoth knows who Chat Noir is now. We need to be able to fully work together as a team, in and out of the masks.”

Chloé returns at that moment with Rena Rouge and Carapace, who look like they’ve been bashed around the head as they take in the suite. Chloé just snorts and sits next to Petite Souris, whose jaw drops along with Luka’s at the sight of Pollen poking her head out of her cardigan.

“What?” Chloé snaps. “I know I fucked up as Queen Bee, but I’ve been a damn good Honeybee.”

“Hey, no one’s saying you’re not,” Ladybug says. “Calm down, Chloé. I just don’t think they were expecting you to be Honeybee because of how we made sure to throw everyone off the trail.”

“Oh. Right.”

“It doesn’t feel right without Adrien here,” Rena Rouge says after a few seconds of silence. Ladybug sighs and pulls her legs up so that she can hug her knees.

“I know. I hope his father doesn’t grill him too much. But there’s no way we’re replacing him, no matter how angry Mr Agreste gets.”

“Y’know, I never hated anyone except Hawkmoth before,” Carapace says. “But I kinda feel like that about Lila now for all the shit she’s done.”

“Don’t hate her,” Luka says. “That’s energy you could be directing elsewhere.”

“Luka’s right,” Ryuuko says. “Pour that energy into Adrien instead of Lila.”

“Um,” Ladybug says. “So, uh…I guess I should tell you all that I’m not in a four-way love square, but I am dating Adrien. Chat. Both.”

“Say, what?” Rena Rouge squints at Ladybug. “What’s that got to do with anything?”

“Because I’m tired of keeping secrets.” Ladybug clenches her fists. “Hawkmoth already knows who Chat Noir is, and part of the Miraculous magic means that akumas can’t read our minds or make us say who we are. The only thing they can do is take our Miraculouses themselves or brainwash us into physically coming to them as a Miraculous holder.”

“We’re revealing our identities?” Chloé says. “I mean, your identities, since everyone already knows who I am. Thanks, Shellhead.”

“Hey, that’s my nickname for him,” Rena Rouge complains. Chloé flips her off in response.

“Ryuuko and Luka already know who both of us are,” Ladybug says. “And Chat and I know every one of you. So, back to why I just mentioned the whole relationship mess.” Ladybug takes a deep breath and laces her fingers. This is it. No going back. But she’d trust every single teammate with her life – even Petite Souris, after today – and if knowing each other will strengthen their bonds? “We need to be able to fully trust each other, in and out of the mask. We’re a team. We’ve got the group chat to coordinate, but some of us know an identity or two, so our dynamic is rather…imbalanced if you ask me. And since Hawkmoth knows who Chat is, he could target Chat to find out our identities. It can’t possibly be any more dangerous for all of us to know each other if the pay-off is a stronger bond between all of us. Unlike Hawkmoth and his akumas, we can rely on each other.”

“Dude, if you’re trying to convince us, I don’t think you need to,” Carapace says. Ladybug’s lips twitch.

“I just want a promise from all of you,” she says. “Today, I was nearly distracted to the point of uselessness because someone I care about – Luka – was hurt by Sanguisuga. And ever since Chat and I found out each other’s identities, it’s become so much harder to watch him take hits for me. I want you all to promise that you’ll see each other as teammates first and friends second. Don’t just ignore your teammates and not care, obviously, but don’t let yourselves get distracted and take unnecessary hits. One of the reasons to keep our identities secret is so that if, say, two of us were best friends or dating, we wouldn’t let our emotions get the better of us in the middle of a fight.”

“Of course,” Ryuuko says. “And besides, your cure fixes everything.”

Ladybug lets out a shaky laugh. “Thanks for the vote of confidence. But even if I’m not around to fix things –”

“Ridiculous,” Chloé scoffs. “Ladybug always wins. You just have to accept that if it comes down to it, we have to take the hits for you so you can fix everything. It’s not us being ridiculously noble or whatever. It’s literally just common sense.”

“Apart from Adrien,” Rena Rouge snorts. “God, now I get why he was crushing so hard on Ladybug. But hey, I haven’t been ridiculously noble, have I?”

“No,” Ladybug says. “You’ve done a good job of prioritising the mission since Faux News.”

“I promise,” Petite Souris says. Rena Rouge and Carapace chime in their agreement, so Ladybug cracks a weak smile while still fiddling with her fingers.

“So, uh, who wants to go first?” she says.

“Ooh, me!” Rena Rouge bounces on the spot with gleaming eyes. “If I have to keep it a secret any longer, I’m gonna explode. Let’s rest.” In a flash of orange light, Alya’s sitting in her spot with Trixx drifting down to sit on her shoulder. The way Carapace’s eyes pretty much bulge out of his head behind his goggles is so comical that Ladybug almost ends up in hysterical giggles. Almost. If she didn’t have to be professional about this…

“I – uh – guh –” Carapace splutters.

“Eww!” Chloé leans away from Alya. “I’ve been bonding with Césaire?”

“You think it wasn’t a slap in the face knowing you were Honeybee?” Alya says with a raised eyebrow. “Especially since I had to help you by throwing everyone off after Malediktator?”

“Blueberries!” Trixx zooms at the plate of fruit and dives into the berries. Chloé wrinkles her nose when he shovels one into his mouth.

“At least my kwami is dignified,” Chloé says. Pollen laughs and slips out of Chloé’s jacket to hover in mid-air.

“Indeed, my queen,” she says.

“Shell off,” Carapace manages to force out. An ashen-faced Alya chokes and nearly falls off the couch when Nino appears next to her in Carapace’s place.

“Nino?” she shrieks. “My superhero rival – my boyfriend?”

“I hated your guts!” Nino jabs a finger at her. “I thought you were flirting with me!”

“I wasn’t! I thought you were a dick! We hated each other because we loved each other?”

“Wait, you love me?” Nino’s eyes fill with stars. Alya groans and facepalms.

“Yes, you idiot! I even started to like Carapace, like some sort of superhero cliché, but noooo, I had to be loyal to my boyfriend because I’m not polyamorous! And it turns out that he was my love-hate rival!”

“DJ Tupac? Of course!” Chloé throws her hands up in the air. “And let me guess, dragon girl’s secretly Marinette or something?”

Ryuuko snorts. “Wrong red superhero with black hair. Open skies.”

The first person who seems to put all the puzzle pieces together upon seeing Kagami is Alya. Her eyes nearly pop out of her head, and she opens and closes her mouth like a goldfish, and then she shakily points from Ladybug to Kagami and then Luka.

“You – all of you – dating – and all of us – ohmygodmybestieisLadybugI’mgonnafuckingdie –”

“Please don’t,” Ladybug laughs, while Nino, Chloé, and Petite Souris splutter and have their own freak-outs at the realisation of her identity. “I’d hate to have to replace you. Spots off.”

“Finally!” Kagami bounds over to Marinette’s couch so that she can wrap her arms around Marinette’s waist and rest her head in Marinette’s lap, while Longg floats up to join his fellow kwamis. Luka’s only seconds behind, dropping down next to Marinette and drawing her into a side embrace.

“Hello!” Tikki settles on Marinette’s head and waves. “I’m Tikki, Ladybug’s kwami! Pleased to finally meet you all!”

“That’s the toy I gave Prince Ali! I looked up to Marinette Dupain-Cheng?” Chloé shrieks. “All that bullying and then sucking up – oh my god, this is ridiculous, utterly ridiculous –”

“Look at it this way, Chloé,” Marinette says. “How else did I know how your progress was going? Why else would I have picked you for the Bee?”

“I – I mean, sure, if you look at it that way –”

“Get calm!” Petite Souris blurts out and turns into Mylène in a flash of pale pink light.

“Mylène?” Alya exclaims. “Wait, since when are you a superhero, girl?”

“Since today.” Mylène holds her head high despite how her whole body is trembling. On her knee, the little rat kwami – Mullo, Marinette believes his name is – shoots her an approving look. “I understand if I wasn’t your first choice, Ladybug. Chat Noir said that I was the first one he could find –”

“That doesn’t make you a bad choice,” Marinette says firmly. “You did very well today. You saved me and Kagami, and you tried to take on Sanguisuga even though you were scared. You were super brave. Maybe Petite Souris can help you be brave as Mylène too.”

“Ugh, no wonder you were all “triumph of evil is good people doing nothing” and whatever,” Chloé says.

“Actually, that was thanks to me,” Alya says. “Ladybug’s best friend. Who I said I’d do on my freebie list. Oh my god.”

“Guys, the reveal was to make us stronger, not make us argue over little stuff,” Marinette says before Alya can start freaking out at the realisation that her celebrity crush is her best friend.

“We’ve been reactive for way too long,” Kagami says. “Hawkmoth now knows Chat Noir’s identity. We need to proactively try and find him before he can cause more harm.”

“Honestly, part of the reason why we’ve been so reactive is that Tikki didn’t think we were ready,” Marinette admits. “Who knows how long he’s been a Butterfly wielder? But with this team, I know we can take a more proactive stance.”

“We should start coming up with some ideas now, then,” Luka says. “You can fill Adrien in through the group chat tonight.”

“Good idea!” Mylène rummages around in her bag for a notebook and pen. “We can write our ideas down in here. I’m always prepared for when Ivan thinks of song lyrics and doesn’t have anything to write them down with!”

“So.” Marinette cards her fingers through Kagami’s hair; such a normal action as opposed to the conversation they’re about to have. “Any ideas?”

But before anyone can toss a suggestion into the air, a tiny black thing comes barrelling through the open window of the superhero suite and skids to a halt above the table of food.

Wait. It’s not a thing. It’s…Plagg? With the ring around him?

“Plagg?” Marinette gasps. “What are you doing here? Where’s Adrien?”

“I’m sorry!” Plagg says with wild green eyes. “I’m sorry, Marinette, I tried to stop it, but I –”

“Plagg, slow down!” Tikki zooms up to Plagg and grabs his tiny paws, and she’s joined by Trixx, Wayzz, Pollen, Longg, and Mullo. “Was Adrien compromised? Tell us what happened.”

Plagg nods shakily. “So, Pigtails, remember when you and Adrien thought his dad could be Hawkmoth?”

Marinette claps a hand to her mouth to keep down the bile that threatens to rise into her throat. “Mr Agreste is Hawkmoth?” she whispers. “But – Adrien’s there! With him! And I just let him go! Plagg, what happened to Adrien?”

“His mother’s alive,” Plagg rasps. “Creepy dude’s been keeping her in some life support thing in the basement. That’s why he wants the Miraculouses: he wants to wish her back.”

“Wait, what?” Mylène says, while Chloé pales to the colour of chalk.

“A-Auntie Emilie?” she whispers.

“Combining the Ladybug and Black Cat Miraculouses lets you make one wish,” Tikki says. “But doesn’t he know that he has to pay a price of equal value? What if he has to sacrifice Adrien?”

“Doesn’t even matter right now.” Plagg covers his face with his hands and groans. “I shouldn’t have left! I shouldn’t have ditched my kitten like that! Now he’s Phantom and –”

“Wait. Phantom?” Luka leans forward so suddenly that Marinette nearly topples sideways. One look at his face is enough to make Marinette shiver, because Luka Couffaine isn’t a boy who gets angry easily, but his expression right now is terrifying enough to make her want to hand over her earrings just to erase it from existence. “Adrien was akumatised?”

Chloé lets out a loud gasp, while everyone else looks to be turning various shades of green. “Adrikins! How could his father do that to him?”

“He tried to resist,” Plagg says miserably. “My poor kitten tried so hard. But between finding out his dad’s Hawkmoth and his mum’s alive…he managed to resist enough to not tell Hawkie who you guys are, though.”

“So…is Phantom going to come after us, even if he didn’t reveal who we are?” Kagami says, pushing herself up so that she can reach over and grab Marinette and Luka’s hands. “He knows our identities.”

“Not yet.” Plagg shakes his head viciously. “As far as he knows, you guys aren’t meeting till tonight. But…he’s gonna take Hawkmoth to get other Miraculouses.”

Marinette shrieks and tries to jump to her feet so quickly that her arms are forced to windmill so that she doesn’t fall flat on her face. “Master Fu! He knows where to find Master Fu!”

“Master who?” Chloé says.

“Master Fu!” Wayzz’s yellow eyes are wide with horror. “The Guardian of the Miraculouses! My previous holder!”

“Guys!” Marinette takes a deep breath and starts mildly flapping her hands to give her a physical anchor to focus on. “Okay. Make sure you stick together. We don’t know how strong Phantom is or what his powers are, especially if Hawkmoth is with him. I have to get to Master Fu before Phantom does.”

“Possession and bending others to his will,” Plagg says quietly. “He’s literally a ghost. A shade of himself.”

Marinette winces. “Great. God, I hope Adrien doesn’t remember any of this when we save him…”

“Bits and pieces.” Chloé’s shoulders slump. “They’re not really concrete memories. They’re like little flashes that come when there’s a reminder.”

“We’ll come with you,” Kagami says, then holds up a hand before Marinette can protest. “You shouldn’t go alone in case Phantom and Hawkmoth are there. We can help take down Hawkmoth, and I can at least buy us some time to get away if we need to retreat.”

“So can I, with Mirage,” Alya chimes in.

“Kagami’s right,” Tikki says. “Master Fu would much rather you bring back-up, even if it means other people knowing where he is. And if Hawkmoth finds him, it won’t really matter much, will it?”

“You’re right,” Marinette sighs. “Okay. Plagg, where’s the akuma, do you know?”

“The charm you gave him back during the game tournament.” Plagg’s ears droop. “It’s around his wrist. That’s all I saw before I got the heck outta there.”

“Everyone get that?” Marinette says, and her teammates nod. “Don’t take unnecessary risks. We’ve got each other’s backs, but don’t lose focus, or Hawkmoth could get away with Adrien and the Miracle Box. Speaking of…Luka, if you’re willing, could you –?”

Plagg’s already swooping down to Luka before Marinette can finish speaking. Luka nods and holds out his hand so that Plagg can rest on his palm and deposit the ring.

“Of course, Marinette,” he says, slipping the ring onto his finger.

“Right. Let’s do this!” Marinette says. “Tikki, spots on!”

“Plagg, claws out!”

“Trixx, let’s pounce!”

“Pollen, buzz on!”

“Wayzz, shell on!”

“Longg, bring the storm!”

“Mullo, get squeaky!”

In a burst of rainbow light, seven superheroes take the place of seven teenagers. Luka’s Black Cat outfit is him to a tee: just a green-lined black leather jacket with a green paw print on the back of the jacket and his black fingerless gloves, over a high-collared black top, torn black pants with bright green visible beneath the rips, black combat boots, a studded black belt that falls into a tail behind him, green cat eyes behind a plain black mask, and green-lined black cat ears sticking out of his hair, which is now tipped in bright green. He reaches back to unclip his baton from the small of his back and nods, his mouth set in a stormy line.

“Just call me Noir,” he says. “Doesn’t feel right to come up with a name and everything when I’m not the real Black Cat. And Hawkmoth will probably guess who I am anyway.”

With a terrifying light in her eyes, Honeybee cracks her knuckles and growls, “That son of a bitch is gonna pay for what he’s done to my Adrikins.”

“Sorry, Honeybee, but you’ll have to get in line,” Ryuuko says, unsheathing her sword. The zing that results is sharp and deadly, honing Ladybug’s focus to the mission before her because with no Chat Noir, it’s up to her to step up and be the sole leader. As amazing as Noir is, he’s not Chat Noir.

“Everyone ready?” she says. Her teammates nod, so she takes a deep breath. “Then let’s go and kick butterfly butt.”