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venuzasmuse · 3 months

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𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘 𝐂𝐀𝐌𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄, 𝐞. 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐦𝐬

— the holidays are meant to be festive, free of heartache and solemnity, but odds are forever not in your favor as you spend the holidays with your best friend alongside her sister, that broke your heart.

[rockstar!ellie au, best friend’s sister!ellie, kinda mean!ellie (for a few parts of the story)]

previous, next

warnings: reader is afab, not proofread, mature language, mentions of substance abuse (drugs), ellies a dick in this chapter srry guys, WHOLE LOTTA ANGST. smut & fluff in later chapters. POC FRIENDLY !!

this chapters kinda long because it’s still introducing the reader & ellie’s relationship dynamic so bare with me pls pls pls

upon arriving in texas, a wave of nostalgia washes over you as you peered over the horizons of the buzzing city streets.

the traffic was still— as long as you could remember— terrible. pedestrians raided the roads as if they had enough lives for the people on it and tenfold. you can recount the amount of days you'd be late for school because your brother, simon, took obnoxiously long in the bathroom. you could almost still smell his putrid sauvage cologne from here. the strong scent filling your senses— your head spun nauseatingly so.

you grapple with the map in your hand, flipping it every which way trying to give yourself a sense of reassurance as you and sarah navigated through the intersections. you loved your best friend but you couldn't sugarcoat the fact that her love for detours affected her driving skills poorly.

she'd listen to her gps for the first few hours and eventually get fed up with the alterations that emitted from the older device, completely tossing the given routes out of the window and using her intuition as a sense of direction instead.

"jesus, has texas always been this confusing?" the blonde exasperated, a heavy hand coming down to the steering wheel as a blare emitted from the vehicle.

you shoot her a glare that goes unnoticed and the car jerks as she overpasses the poor old lady in front of her.

"does it hurt you to have any patience?" you groan out. you slump in your seat and throw your head back against the headrest tiredly.

"patience never did anyone any good before." she declares sheepishly, a playful smile spreading across her pretty face.

your head lolls to the side to face the side of her head and you give her a playful eye roll.

"i swear to God, if we ever get caught in a drive by, i'd never let you live it down. even in hell."

she laughs a throaty laugh. sarah grabs your hand giving it a squeeze and shake, her demeanor excited.

"come on! don't be so grim. aren't you excited to be going back home? i mean it's been years." she switches to another lane, eyes trained on the rear view. "my dad is super excited to have you back. he said you're welcome as long as you need to be."

"that's only because we never gave him a choice before." you prompt. the two of you giggle.

"you know what i mean. i'm so hungry— maybe we can hit up mel's diner when we get there. i'd kill for their cheeseburgers right now."

you glance at the gps. "2 1/2 hours left" before y'all were to reach your destination. you groan, pulling your hat down to shield your face away from the blaring sun beaming down on your skin.

you'd be lying if you said that you had gotten any shut eye the night before. too plagued with overthinking, the dead of the night was filled with the sound of tossing and turning as you fought against yourself at an amateur attempt to soothe your own nerves.

trepidation dripped down your soul. you weren't sure how finally seeing ellie again for the first time would enfold. you had a plan to simply just avoid her but you knew you probably weren't going to keep up with that very long.

ellie was persistent and if she had any plan to resolve things, it wouldn't go unnoticed by a long shot. no matter how hard you tried to steer clear of it.

sarah knew about the reason why the two of you broke up. she was sympathetic enough to take your feelings about seeing her sister again after 2 and half dreadful years.

she witnessed first hand the aftermath of what ellie did to you. a brutal 9 nine months of you trying to build yourself high enough on a pedestal to be able to move on completely. she listened to you every step of the way, her ears open and her arms empathetic with every tear shed.

it was even worse when the media coverage began getting ahold of their band. 7 months after you and ellie had stopped talking completely due to your nasty breakup, her band rose to stardom and you could still remember how much dread washed over you to hear the sound of her playing on the radio for the first time.

you avoided her, in every way you could. if that meant no music for months until the hype of her album died down even just a little bit, then so be it.

but the limelight wasn't always as glamorous. you alongside of her family, despite not having heard from her in years, knew about how she'd been living because once the tabloids got a hold of her, the only thing plaguing the media coverage was about ellie.

who she was spotted with, newly sparked dating rumors as she was seen with a different girl nearly every month, and even the downfall of her newly acquired fame.

in pure janis joplin fashion, the height of her success came crashing down as people started suspecting ellie to be abusing drugs. it started when people began to notice how blasted she was in a few interviews. her nodding off didn't go unnoticed by a long shot.

in the spotlight, instances like this weren't uncommon.

you watch a talented person rise to the top, their talent evident as day as they showed it off to the word come plummeting down in a wave of wasted potential due to drugs and or alcohol. it was tragic and despite being as angry as you were with her, seeing the girl you grew up with live the way she was, created a moggy feeling in your chest.

eventually, the band made an announcement that their tour would've had to gone on a break due to "complications" but you and everyone else knew it was because ellie was in rehab.

as soon as she was discharged, the ongoing scarcity of contact between her and her family came to a brusque halt when joel offered for his daughter to come back home, at least until she was ready enough to face her new life again.

so when you found out that she'd be spending christmas with y'all, there was no doubt in your mind you'd have to brace yourself for whatever outcome would emerge from it.

"i'm gonna try and get some sleep. we still have a long way to go."

sarah boos at your resignation, exclaiming a few declarations about how you're leaving her to die of boredom. "you suck!"

you don't respond, simply smiling and turning your head as you're inevitably wisked away into a state of slumber.

❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀

a somber tune draws out a melancholic melody on your record player, filling the corners of your cavernous room. the night breathes life through a soft breeze that grazes past your curtains. yet, as the sun sets and the cicadas begin to shriek, no amount of words in the english language can drown out the bitterness that sits in the pit of your chest.

no amount of rephrasing could rewrite the sorrow that consumes you whole, in this moment or the next.

you sit with the grief as your gaze lingers on the girl in front of you. ellie sits on the edge of your bed. she's faced away from you, as always, as she stares ahead at the neon lights that seep through the crevices of your room.

clouds of smoke forms around her figure with practiced cinematic effort and your eyes take her in with taut admiration.

you usually dread when the room grows quiet like this. the silence is blinding and tension is permeated in your walls. it leaves you high and dry and guts you with cynicism.

you wait for the moment for her to slip back into bed with you but it never comes. the thought of not being the placeholder of such intimacy rings in your ears like a bad case of tinnitus.

at least not this time around.

you sit up crawling towards her in desperate attempt to get her to look at you. you wrap your arms around her neck, resting your chin on her bare shoulder. empty viridescent eyes scan your face yet you can't seem to deconstruct any love tucked away behind them.

you knew deep down that what once existed fondly between the two of you was stripped away, little to nothing— a scarce void of recognition.

“what’s going on?” you hum out lovingly, as you press a prolonged kiss to her shoulder. “been quiet all night.”

the auburn headed girl heaved out a sigh as she dropped her head in her hands. she braced herself to face you, taking your wrists in her callused palms as she brought your hands to her mouth, pecking the backs tenderly.

“i.. i think we should talk.” she finally vocalizes. the words shoot fear down your spine, goosebumps arising were her lips once resided.

“about what?”

she gives you a look as she turns her body to face you, straightening her back a little bit more. “so you know how i’ve been getting to practice with the band lately? because their guitarist ended up quitting?”

you watched her for a moment skeptically before nodding.

her words are caught in her throat momentarily as she looks down once more. “well, cat and them asked me to join their band.” a glimmer of gleam passes across her face as she breathes out a breath she was holding.

you furrow your brows, a smile breaking onto your face. “that’s great! i’m so happy for you!” you exclaim, grabbing her chin in between your finger to press a proud kiss onto her cheek.

you knew how long ellie had wanted to be apart of something like this. after years of supporting her, you were filled to the brim with joy that she was finally reaching a steppingstone to where she wanted to be in life.

yet, you could tell something was still bothering her as she tensed up in your embrace. “well, they offered me to join but..”

“but..” you trail, eyes still held with hope.

“cat said she knew someone in los angeles that knew someone that could get us signed to a record label. the only downside is we’d have to move over there.”

your face fell as her words fell on sensitive ears.

“move?” you let out a nervous chuckle. “but.. los angeles is across the country.”

capturing her bottom lip in between her teeth, you watch as she gnaws down on it regrettably.

of course, you were elated for her. over the moon.

hell, you would’ve done anything for ellie to make this happen for her, one way or another. but hearing the catch of finally being able to pursue her dreams had you feeling selfishly opposed to the idea.

surely, she wouldn’t have made such a rash decision without taking it up with you first. ya’ll had so many plans that were already set in stone. all you wanted was at least a heads up if they were going to be altered to accustom to ellie’s new schedule pertaining to her band.

“so, what did you say?” your tone faltering from ecstatic to one that could’ve fell on deaf ears if not attentive enough.

“i said yes. i agreed that i’d go with them.” her word vomit rushes out like a fountain and your hands drop from her face as you turn away from her in shock. she grabs your smaller face in her hands, as she tips her head down to meet your avoidant gaze. you shut your eyes, muttering out a “shit” as you felt the pathetic rush of tears burn at the back of your eyelids.

“baby, i couldn’t pass this up. this is my chance to finally get out of this town. i’ve wanted this for so long.” she pleads, dropping down to her knees in front of you.

“why didn’t you wait to at least talk to me about it, ellie? three months ago, we were just planning on moving in together! and what? now you’re just about to dismiss any say that i had in this?”

she lets out an exasperated sigh of defeat as she bargains with her response.

“this is about my future! this is something i’ve wanted for years!” she encompasses her bottom lip back in between her teeth, scavenging her scattered brain to make this situation better.

“you can come with me! didn’t you always tell me you’d follow me anywhere?”

you scoff, shaking your head. “i can’t just pack up my things and run away to los angeles like this with you. it’s expensive there and with the money we have saved up, we wouldn’t last a year in a place like that with just the two of us. we’d need more time.”

don’t cry. don’t cry. you think to yourself as you feel the waterworks begin to churn.

“we could figure it out! cat mentioned a bunch of-”

you scoff at the mention of the girl’s name as you stood up from your place on the bed, walking over towards your window as you dug your fingers through your unkempt hair.

“i can’t believe you made a decision about this with cat before you even mentioned it to me. i should’ve known it was deeper than that.”

ellie stops in her tracks, an expression of hurt painted across her face at the idea of you believing she had concealed intentions between her and cat. but could you really blame yourself ? it would’ve been hard on any girl to see that her significant other’s time was consumed by another girl. especially with the considerable amount of times they spent alone together.

you would’ve been a fool to not suspect anything at all but your love for ellie ran too deep; you didn’t think you could handle it if you lost her to another girl. so you kept quiet, giving her the benefit of the doubt and begged venus herself for the girl to not prove you right.

“it was never deeper than anything.” her tone was stilled as she stared at you with accusatory.

“can you blame me ellie? i mean seriously. you’ve been alone with her more in these past few months than you’ve even talked to me! some days, i don’t even hear from you at all because you’re with her!” your voice goes up an octave as tears begin to spill from your eyes.

“it’s because of—”

“what? the band?” you cut her off, not wanting to hear her myriad of excuses. “i see the way you look at her. you look at her like she’s the only thing you see.” you brush past her to grab your shirt, pulling it over your head hastily.

“the lingering looks, the canceled plans, the way you never tell her to stop fucking holding onto your arms the way she fucking does!” bitterness begins to overpower the solemnity paying homage to the pit of your heaving chest as you jostle her scroll of excuses back to her.

“i mean, god, ellie. has it ever occurred to you that you still have obligations to set boundaries in this relationship?” your tone is constraint from going back to normal.

“are you fucking serious?” she snaps, the pitch of her voice blending with yours in a chaotic cacophony. “i’m trying to tell you about how big of a deal this band is to me, trying to make up solutions, and you’re accusing me of leaving for fucking cat?”

“i mean it was her idea, wasn’t it?” you countered. you were at your breaking point with ellie. you felt like nothing you said would ever change her perspective so you gave up.

you no longer wanted to fight for someone that couldn’t care to think twice about how their actions inflicted hurt on you.

maybe this wasn’t about her leaving anymore. instead, as the conversation became more clear, the realization settled when you realized you were losing her.

“i’m not doing this with you.” you watch as ellie gathered her things in fit of rage, throwing on her flannel and slipping her feet back into her converses as grabbed her bag, ready to walk out.

a feeling of dread quickly dissipates all of the fury you momentarily had as you rush towards her, wanting to resolve this before the two of you went to bed upset.

“ellie. come on, please.” you grab her face, pleading with eager eyes for her to not leave when things began to get bad.

you knew your girlfriend was stubborn. often alternating between fight or flight when reality began to corner her. but you knew, this time was different. no matter what the two of you chose to do, it would change the trajectory of your lives together.

she avoids your eyes and you feel the warmth cascade down your face heavily. “don’t walk out on me. please. not like this.”

she finally looks at you and it’s hard to read her.

“i need to do this for me. not for anyone else. i’m not going to wait for you to change your mind if some ulterior motive you think i have will always be in the backside of your mind.” she asserted, planted in her obstinance.

“if you leave now, i’m not gonna wait for you to come back.”

her eyes scanned your own down to your lips back to your eyes before grabbing your wrists to pull your hands away from her.

“that’s up to you.” was the last thing she said as she turned to walk out of your empty house. the moment you heard the door slam shut, you dropped to your knees as the tears began to pour.

if there was one thing ellie was good at, it was keeping her word. ever since the the two of you were puny little teenagers, she still managed to keep ahold of all of her promises, even the smallest most frivolous ones.

it was something you loved about her because it showed her resilience and firmness. her ability to stand her ground. but as you sit with your hot head in your hands against the comfort of your bed that still smelled like her, you wished so desperately that the one quality you admired so much, wasn’t something she attained.

you knew there was no use in trying to change her mind or waiting for her to. she was set in her ways and held no exemptions, not even for you.

it was a thick pill to swallow but you knew, the moment she walked out that door, it was over.

the next few days were filled with no contact. your phone was sparse of any calls or messages except for one from your mother asking you to defrost the chicken or the occasional check up from your friends when they learned about what happened.

your room was a ghost town. her presence haunting you as a constant reminder in every corner. you couldn’t run away from her even if you wanted to.

you wished you were stronger in your ways. it would’ve saved you your dignity if you were prideful but you simply couldn’t bring yourself to be. you were the worst at staying mad— just wanting to fix things with your girl.

you even racked up some ideas about how ya’ll could make this arrangement work in a heap of desperation.

so when you rendered yourself enough courage to face the situation at hand, you made your way over to her house. you were hopeful that she wasn’t completely set in throwing it all away.

but when you reached her front door, all you were met with was a note that joel gave you that was left to him by ellie. his eye bags were deep showcasing his worry and lack of sleep and you saw a few more grey tendrils in his salt and pepper hair.

ellie had left a few mornings after the fight between the two of you. she left no trace of her behind to be gotten ahold of and you, joel, or sarah hadn’t heard from her since.

taglist: @bready101 @st4r-b3rries @vqxen

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fallingfor-fics · 1 month

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Anything: Melissa Schemmenti x reader

here is part 2 to Meetings in Secret!!

Pairing: Step-Aunt Melissa x Step-Niece Reader (not blood relatives!!)

Word count: almost 9k

Warnings: fooling around with your step-moms sister, mild smut, fingering, reader goes down on mel, some angst, drug and alcohol usage

Summary: Melissa is staying over for New Years and lets just say a lot of stuff happens in the span of 48 hours.

not very well proofread tbh

Melissa was set to arrive at your house the day before New Years Eve, and of course your family was having a huge gathering at Mary and Melissa’s brothers bar. They were going to have fireworks for the count down, tons of food, and live music. That meant there was no way you were gonna miss out on a party like this. Thankfully you got lucky and your mom wanted you to spend the first day Melissa was in town with her, so you agreed to give yourself an extra day of mental preparation. That meant when you returned home from a night at your moms, you saw Melissa’s car in the driveway, and let out a deep sigh. You’d be lying if you said you didn't put on a little makeup before getting out of the car even if you were about to go shower it all off. You noticed Mary's car was gone and you furrowed your brows. You walked up and unlocked the door, walking in and looking around. It was dead quiet aside from the muffled sounds of a TV coming from the living room. You walked in and saw your dad on the couch.

“Oh hey. Where is everyone?” you asked as you went to get a cup of water.

“They ran out to get stuff for the food they are taking to the party tonight. We are leaving at 6 are you riding with us or following up?” he asked as his eyes remained on the TV

“Um, I will ride with.” You said and he nodded.

“Great, I'm gonna go shower.” You walked to your room to set your things down and you looked at the door to the guest room, it was cracked slightly and you could feel the lingering presence Melissa left behind. You shook your head and headed into the shower. The one thing you hated about this bathroom was how badly it fogged up, it would get steamy and humid and you hated getting dressed in there, so usually you would just dry your hair a bit and wrap a towel around yourself, and then go get dressed in your room. So you did, stepping out on the towel you put down, drying your feet, and then drying your hair. You opened the bathroom door and the cool air hit your damp skin causing you to shiver, you moved to round the corner out of the bathroom and that's when you saw, standing in front of the door to the guest room, your angel. She was paused on her phone, one hand on the door. You knew there was no sneaking by and if you moved the few feet to your room she would see so you just took a deep breath and decided to be brave. You opened your mouth to speak but you couldn't find the words, what were you supposed to say to her after all these months? Soon you saw your cat coming out of your room and she looked up at you and you looked at her pleading, she just blinked and then meowed loudly. You shut your eyes and sighed before looking over. Melissa heard the cry and turned with a smile on her face that soon faded when she saw you. You stood in front of her, hair dripping around you, water trickling down your arm slowly, your skin glistening from the dew of your shower. Your hand was clutched around the towel, pressing your breasts together, your cleavage on display and you had the most frightened yet desperate look in your eyes as they laid on her.

“Hey” was all you could choke out and her lip twitched into a smile at the sound of your voice.

“Hey hon.” she replied and you smiled. You decided you didn't have to stand here anymore, and turned to walk to your room. You shut the door, locking it and let out a sigh. Melissa let out her own breath she was holding in the whole interaction, and went into her room. God that was awkward, was all you could think. Despite your heart racing you thought it didn't go too bad, but definitely less dramatic than you thought it’d be. As you did every step of your routine you wondered what Melissa was thinking after that interaction. Did she care at all?

To go out, you put on a black mini skirt and sparkly top along with sheer black tights, and some black leather boots to match your leather jacket you were bringing in case you stepped outside. Before fully dressing, you put on a silk robe to wear while you did your makeup and hair. However, you needed your blow dryer next and you remembered it was in the guest bathroom that was in Melissa’s room. You let out a sigh as you realized and cursed under your breath before going back to adding the finishing touches to your face. With a tight chest and almost dry hair from the procrastinating, you walked over to her door and knocked gently. She answered and you felt your stomach fill with butterflies at the sight of her, her own hair and makeup was already done, but she was also only wearing a robe, her lacy bra-clad breasts peaked out and you swallowed as you kept your gaze on her face, her eyes were sparkling with surprise and confusion, and you felt your throat get dry.

“Um, my blow dryer is in the bottom drawer of the vanity.” you said softly and she nodded moving out of the way slowly. You walked in quickly and grabbed the hair utensil before walking towards the door.

“So you’re going with us tonight?” she asked in the midst of the silence and you stopped, looking at her slowly.

“Yup I'm riding up with y’all.” you nodded then turned on your heel and walked to your room.

By the time everyone was ready it was a little past six, and you were grabbing your purse and heading to the door. Your dad was already in the car warming it up, and you learned Jude was at Anthony’s and was going to ride with him. Which meant it would just be you and Melissa in the backseat, for the thirty minute drive. You went and got in, sitting behind your dad and facing towards the window, the less contact the better. After a few minutes, Mary and her came walking out, locking the door and coming up to the truck. You didnt turn to look at anyone, and just kept your gaze out the window.

“You got the jalapeno poppers right, Melissa?” Mary asked and with a crinkle of tin foil Melissa confirmed as she set the tray between the two of you. She looked at you as she did and you could feel her eyes tracing your silhouette but you continued to look away. The drive was going fast as you zoned out, looking at the scenery and the lights sparkling in the dark distance. You sighed and your breath fogged the window and you drew a star watching as it faded just as you made the fifth point.

“So Y/n how was your mom’s?” Mary asked kindly from the front and you looked up at her, Melissa's gaze on you could be seen in your peripheral vision.

“It was good to see her.” Was all you said and you looked back out the window. You didn't really like to get into the situation with your mom, but Mary was very respectful about that so she just nodded.

Soon you were arriving at the bar, mingling, and drinking with people. The friends you had invited got there soon after and you were hanging out with them before they had to leave to go to their own family's parties. Of course you didn't tell them about Melissa, so you tried your best to lay low and avoided her for most of the night. You had grabbed a beer and stepped outside, taking a break from dancing and going to get some air. The air was crisp and made your cheeks tingle, and the moon reflected off the blanket of snow surrounding everything. Some people nearby had already started shooting off fireworks so there were a good amount of people outside too. There was still thirty minutes til midnight, but a lot of people were already getting ready.

You rested your hands on the wooden railing of the porch, and looked out at the sky as you sipped your drink and tuned out the faint popping noises. You had a few drinks in you and you were feeling pretty good, but you decided to pull out your cigarettes from your purse, the crumpled pack you kept on hand for times like this. You took one out and looked for your lighter, you heard a flick and looked up, a taller man with dark hair and scruff held out his hand with a flame ignited from a silver lighter, you looked at him as you moved, lighting yours and then moving back, you held up the pack to him and he shook his head.

“Thanks.” you said finally as you breathed out.

“No problem. Im TJ.” he said with a nod and you nodded in response.

“Y/n. Are you part of the party or just here at the bar?” you asked as you took a drag and blew it away from him.

“I'm here with the family, I'm John's son.” you nodded and looked down to hide your awkward face.

“Cool, Mary is my step-mom.” you said quietly as you looked anywhere but at him. You felt him stand closer as he stood against the railing and looked at you.

“Do you go to school around here? You’re in college right?”

“Yeah, my school isn't too far out from here, but I still stay on campus.” you finished and he nodded, taking a sip of his own beer in hand.

“Do you, uh, have a boyfriend?” he asked and you were surprised by his boldness, you smoked awkwardly as you thought of how to respond. To be honest he was a very attractive guy, but you had put a pause on dating men awhile ago and you didn't want to kick off the new year with one. Unbeknownst to you, Melissa was watching the boy flirt from her spot at the bar inside. She saw your body standing close to his through the large windows and she felt her jaw clench as she watched him smile and talk at you with smothering confidence. She could tell you weren't interested, she knew he was far from your type and she debated going over there.

People were getting restless and antsy in anticipation for the countdown, and Melissa did want to get some fresh air. She shook her head at her subconscious offering up reasons to go see you. She knew she needed to stay away from you, give you space, and let you live your life. She had to keep whatever forest fire of drama she would bring to your life far from you. Still there were hooks in her stomach that just pulled her to you.

As she stood at the bar, the dim lights giving everything a beautiful glow, she admired the way you spoke. The way your pouty lips curled around the filter, and blew out the smoke. She didn't even know you smoke but she didn't seem to care. Her eyes softened at the sight of your reddening cheeks and nose, and she smiled as she looked you up and down, admiring your legs that stood out in the open air beneath a very sheer black tight. She watched as your eyes began to flutter as you looked up at the man and she furrowed her brows in suspicion. What could he have said that all of the sudden had you batting your lashes up at him?

“Yeah I'll get you a drink girl, just wait here.” TJ said before walking inside and you let out a relieved sigh. Your fake smile drops as you put out your cigarette and throw it away along with your empty bottle.

Melissa watches as TJ walks up next to her to ask the bartender for another one of your drinks and a drink for himself and she can't help the smirk on her face as she looks at you waiting patiently, cutely. Of course you were conning a man for a drink, she laughed at the idea since it only made her more fond of you and your brilliant mind.

“Hey Aunt Mel.” TJ spoke and she reluctantly muttered a response. He walked back out to you and she felt her chest tense up with envy. There was an urge deep in her stomach that made her unable to keep her eyes off of you. She wanted to be the person you were talking to at a bar on New Years. A loud voice caught her attention and she looked over to her cousin telling everyone there was only ten minutes left. She let out a huff and sipped her beer, looking back out the window at you.

“Yeah so it can get pretty intense but I like it.” TJ said after finishing his fifth sentence about himself. His low voice had long ago been tuned out and you stood mindlessly nodding and humming in agreement.

“Do you want to kiss at midnight?” he said with a clear voice and you felt your cheeks grow red. He went right out and asked and you had to give him credit for the bravery, but now you were left there. Melissa managed to hear the question when a passerby opened the door outside for a brief moment and she quickly felt her arms grow itchy and hot as her blood rose in temperature. Why this was bothering her so much she didn't understand. She wished she didn't care, but she did and the jealousy moving through her veins made her neck twitch. It grew worse when she saw you turn to face him, looking up at him once again with starry eyes. However this time she saw you say something and then turn to walk towards the door. Crowds of people were all around fitting tightly in the bar and the live music echoing throughout the high ceiling created a busy atmosphere. Melissa watched you walk in and start to weave through people, a hunch gave her an idea of where you were going and she pushed herself off the bar and walked towards the back. She saw you walking towards the hall of the restroom and she casually sped up to reach you.

“Y/n” She grabbed your elbow, pulling you back firmly before pushing you against the wall. After the initial shock wore off, and you registered who you were looking at, you threw her hands off you and tried to step back, your back against the wall stopping you. If only you could melt through walls you would be able to solve this problem.

“Ugh I just have to pee. Leave me alone.” Was all you said as you pushed past her and went into the restroom. You were fairly tipsy and this isn't something you wanted to deal with right now, especially not with midnight being minutes away. Was it a little presumptive, probably, but in the moment your dazed brain couldn't think of anything else to say. Thankfully she didn't follow you in, and you looked at yourself in the mirror as you washed your hands, nose and cheeks red from the cold. You patted under your eye and touched up what you could with your finger before finishing up and then taking a breath and heading back out. To your surprise Melissa wasn't there and you began to wonder if it was a hallucination.

You decided to go outside for the countdown, your friends had all left already and you didn't feel like being around that many strangers right now. There was a hill right off the porch that overlooked a lake, a skyline of the city behind it. Of course some people were sitting down by the lake to watch the fireworks, and you remembered you needed a glass of champagne, grabbing one from a table inside, before heading outside. You looked around for a place to stand and looked down at your phone, two minutes. Soon you felt a hand grasp your upper arm firmly and pull you and you looked to see red hair and a sparkly top. You didn't protest and just followed as she pulled you around to the back of the bar. It was down hill and out of view from most that would recognize you, and you huffed as she pushed you against the building once again. The number of patterns between you two was getting frightening at this rate.

“Jesus Melissa, what do you want from me?” you asked, frustration evident in your voice as you crossed your arms.

“What were you doing flirtin with TJ?” she asked firmly and you made a face at the question.

“I wasn't, what were you stalking me?” you scoffed as you rolled your eyes, Melissa grabbed your jaw and you looked at her as she smiled.

“Just can't help yourself huh? You just go for anyone that gives you attention?” she laughed and you huffed looking down.

“No, Melissa, you were the only one and you know it, thats what makes this so fucked up. But you know that too.” you said with a hint of sarcasm, grabbing her hand from your jaw and pulling it off. You grabbed her belt loops and turned to push her against the wall now, you retracted your arms to sit across your chest. She looked at you with shock, speechless from what you had said and the action that followed. Suddenly roars of cheers could be heard as people started counting down from ten.

“Y/n, I-” her lip twitched and she just looked over your face as you stared at her with undeserving compassion. The look in your eyes only made it harder for her to resist you, though you almost looked at her with an innocent pity. She saw your pupils shrink and your eyes grow darker as you furrowed your brows and shook your head slightly.

“You want me to tell you what you wanna hear? Right? Well, this is all you, Melissa. So make a decision and stop fucking with me.” you spat out in frustration, your eyes beginning to brim with tears from the pent up emotions. Suddenly everyone started to yell ‘Happy New Year’ from the top of their lungs and Melissa laughed, grabbing your hips with force and pulling you into her. Her hand found your jaw once again and gripped it tightly as she kissed you with passion and fire. She quickly turned you so you were against the wall again and you felt your back being pushed hard into the rough brick of the building. Her tongue roamed your mouth without shame and you couldn't help the moan that crawled up your throat at the motions. Forceful hands gripped your hips, her thumbs digging into the flesh below your hip bone and her own breasts pressed into yours. When you heard a loud final cheer you pushed her face away from yours, her mouth attempting to meet yours again in a reflex before she pulled back and looked at your reddening face.

“Fuck- No we have to stop.” she said looking down and you rolled your eyes as you shook your head in annoyance.

“Happy fuckin new year Melissa.” you scoffed, shoving her away from you with little effort and walking up the hill with a slight stumble, and then back inside. You felt frustration build up again and your cheeks grew hot. You sped to the bathroom and locked yourself in a stall before small tears fell and you wiped them quickly, sniffling a bit from the cold. Melissa stringing you all around was giving you a headache, and every rejection from her you went through chipped away at your faith and ego. After gathering all the pieces of you again you let out an exhausted sigh and exited the restroom. You found your dad and told him you were ready to go and he sighed. If it wasn't for Jude also wanting to leave you would have had to stay longer, but your dad drove the both of you home and dropped you off before driving back.

“Why did you leave early?” Jude asked as you unlocked the door and you shrugged.

“I was just tired, you?” he nodded.

“It was too loud and I'm still hungover from last night.” he admitted and you laughed.

“Anthony?” you asked with a brow raised and he nodded. “Glad you're being cautious.” you nodded and he said goodnight as you parted ways. The moment it was just you and yourself you felt your chest sink in. A weight was placed that you couldn't shake and caused you to wash your face and brush your teeth before crawling into bed and turning out the light.

You didn't wake up until one in the afternoon.

You woke up from the light in your room along with the sound of people talking in the kitchen and you sighed. You turned over grabbing your phone and felt a slight twinge of shame at the sight of the time. You hated sleeping this late. Below it sat messages from Mary and your dad asking you if you wanted to go with everyone to their sisters house, followed by messages from a few minutes ago that said they were leaving since you didn't answer. You weren't upset in the slightest and took the opportunity to just rot back into bed and not leave until this weekend was over.

Eventually you had fallen asleep and when you woke back up the sun had started setting. With a long sigh you slinked out of bed and walked to the bathroom. You decided to shower to get the sleep and lingering Melissa off of you, and you seemed to not be able to think of anything else. In the shower and as you got out all you could do was think about her, and her lips on yours. The sweet sounds of her moans, the way she felt under your touch and against you. All these months, you had almost forgotten how she felt and reacted to things. These thoughts of her would get smothered by memories of her continuous rejections. It was the back and forth that made it so unbearable. You just needed her to decide and to stop being such a selfish, beautiful, two-sided-- a knock at the door interrupted your thoughts and you furrowed your brows. You got up and walked to your door, opening it slowly and feeling your lungs tighten when your eyes land on Melissa. Your brows furrowed and you ran a hand along your forehead with an annoyed groan. While it may have been a childish action, you didn't care because it was how you felt.

“Please just- can we talk?” she said in a steady and calm tone, deep and raspy yet kind. She was never bothered by your “immature” gestures.

“Is everyone back?” you asked, looking out of your room and she nodded.

“Jude went to Anthony’s and your dad and Mary went to bed.” she replied and you turned to look at your clock, realizing it was nine already. You frowned when you realized how much time you lost thinking about her. Then your eyes went wide when you remembered you had plans tonight.

“Oh I actually can't talk right now, my friends are coming to get me at ten we are going out for a new year celebration.” You said apologetically before moving into your room to start setting out your clothes and shoes. Melissa stepped in and shut the door slightly behind her.

“Does your dad know?” she asked and you shook your head.

“Considering I haven't talked to him since he drove me home, I'm gonna say no.” you fixed your hair and did some light but flattering makeup. In your vanity mirror you could see Melissa looking around your room, soaking up bits of your life and personality through the posters and trinkets scattered neatly around.

Melissa knew she was in no place to tell you it was not safe to go out tonight, or that you should just stay home since its late, but as she watched you do your makeup she felt her heart ache and she sighed shaking her head, she had to stop these feelings now before they got worse. She had to stop observing you behaving.. domestically. It only made her chest hurt more.

“Hon, I'm sorry for last night.” she said softly and you looked at her through the mirror and just put on a smile for her.

“Dont worry about it.” After adding the finishing touches you stood up and grabbed your dress. The air in your bedroom grew heavy as you looked up at her and your hands held the dark fabric.

“Sorry,” she turned around and you blushed as you got dressed, “I just want you to know it won't happen again, and it's my last night and I think from now on if I come to town i'll just stay in a hotel to be safe.” she said all of this so casually, facing away from you and fidgeting with her fingers, but her voice was so neutral. You looked at her as you slipped your pants off and paused to think. The tone and words Melissa was speaking out made a funk wash over you that you couldn't quite name. While you had said you wanted her to make a decision, the way she was acting was making you feel insignificant. Like all her words were phrased like the beginning or end of an email.

“I don't think that's necessary, I'm perfectly capable of being normal.” You slipped on your dress and stepped into your shoes.

“I'm sure you are but, y/n,” she let out a huff and looked down and you furrowed your brows, sensing the shift in energy. You walked closer and she let in a breath, “I don't know if I can stay away from you. You're just too… ethereal.” she said with a small laugh at the last word. You don't know why but all you felt was anger washing over you rapidly at her use of the word. The word you searched so hard for to describe her so she knew just how radiant she had looked to you, only to be turned away and scolded for it. Now, all these months later, she begins to understand its meaning and uses it to for you?

“Melissa.” you said firmly, now standing right behind her, your hand coming to her shoulder to let her turn back around. “You use that word like it didn't cause you to nearly jump away from me when I said it to you.” You kept your chin high and your back straight, hoping she didnt see through the fake confidence and find out how much she intimidated you.

“I know. Baby I think you are phenomenal, but this thing would only cause trouble.” she said gesturing between the two of you and you scoffed as you rolled your eyes. Just when you thought she was trying to be genuine, she throws another cliche. You grab your purse and phone and look at her with a small scowl.

“It already has. Don't worry though, if you say it's over, it's over.” you brushed past her and headed out, your friends ready to pick you up outside.

It had been awhile since you had been under the influence of anything that wasn't weed or alcohol, but when you got in the car after Melissa's revelations, your friend's friend offered you some ecstasy and well of course you did not decline in your current state. However, you were having a delightful time because of this fact. You were hardly thinking of Melissa, and you were just happily dancing with your friends, and drinking some cocktails. It was all around a great night until suddenly everything went downhill really fast when you went to the restroom and were waiting in the line. There were three women ahead of you and you just scrolled on your phone as you waited. You came across a picture Melissa put on instagram and you felt your stomach twirl and you furrowed your brows. You soon felt an ache between your legs and you let out a small sigh. You forgot the increased libido that can sometimes come with this substance.

When it was finally your turn you went in to pee and looked up at the wall in front of you. Your eyes widened when you saw a particular writing amongst all the scribbles and words on the walls that stood out to you. Though you knew it was a mere coincidence, seeing a heart etched around an M and your own initial, caused you to let out a pathetic laugh. You hurried up to finish and looked at it closely once more. How cheesy and cliche this marking was, yet staring at it gave you an eerie and looming feeling you again, couldn't describe. You felt a sadness take over when thoughts of your redhead flooded your mind. You took a picture and exited the restroom, walking to find your friends. Now the woman was present in your mind and she wouldn't leave. She was everywhere you looked, and everything your friends talked about would somehow bring a memory of her. She had infiltrated your thoughts so much even the red club lights made you think of her.

“Guys Peter is fucked up we gotta go.” one of your other friends said coming over and you all stood up and nodded as you gathered your things. You got dropped off first and said good night to everyone before entering your home as quiet as possible. It was almost three in the morning so you were trying to be super cautious. After taking off your shoes and setting your purse down you went to the bathroom but paused when you saw Melissa's light was still on. You could hear the TV faintly and what you assumed was movement. Most of the effects of the drug had worn off and now you were left with the deadly combination of arousal, alcohol, and anger.

You went to the kitchen and grabbed a beer to nurse for the next hour since you knew you wouldn't be able to sleep. All you could think of at this moment was the fact that the beautiful woman that you had the most passionate and pleasurable sexual experience you have ever had in your life was less than two inches of wood away from you. You decided to say screw it and grabbed your phone, texting her as you sat in your room.

Are you still up? I see your light on.

She didn't say anything and you huffed. Damn, what were you doing? All that whining and complaining about wanting her to make a choice and she does and now you are picking for her attention. Hypocrisy didn't feel good, but seeing Melissa would and that's all you wanted in this moment. Thankfully you always have the drugs to blame if not.

Yeah. Can't sleep.

You looked at the message with a small smirk and stood up, you checked your makeup in the mirror and fixed your hair.

Did you just get home?

yeah. had to leave early.

Everything okay?

Your heart fluttered at her question and you sighed looking down at your phone. You could say yes, and then leave it alone, or you could say yes and ask her what she was doing. Your thumbs danced over your screen and you went to type when bubbles popped up.

Do you want to come talk about it?

You didn't say anything and sighed. You knew you should say no and go to sleep. To refuse and remind her this isn't what she said she wanted. You can just stay in here and save so much trouble. Your phone buzzed and you looked at a message from her.

Who says anything has to happen, Sweetheart.

You felt a fire ignite between your legs at the message and you looked up at your door. Peaking out of it you looked at her door and saw the light was now dimmer, the glow of the TV seeming to be the only thing casting on the floor and out of the room. You took a breath and walked over quietly. Your parents room was on the other end of the house, but if you spoke loud enough they’d still hear you, so you tried your best to be smooth with your actions. A shaky hand reached out to the door handle and grabbed it gently, pushing down slowly before opening it slightly and stepping in.

As you walked in you saw Melissa was in bed with her head propped up on her hand, she looked away from the TV to catch your gaze. She smiled at you with an almost sweet and pure grin that sent a shiver down your spine. It was a rather unusual expression to be displayed on her face. As heavy eyes traced her form under the covers, you didn't hesitate to walk over and pull the covers back slowly as you slipped into the bed with her. Your cold legs were met with the warmth of her body and you felt your thighs squeeze together at the realization you were once again in bed with Melissa Schemmenti. Slowly your eyes met hers and yours softened as you looked over her face. The light from the TV illuminated her beautifully, the colors popping off her cheeks and making her eyes sparkle, of course it was some rom-com playing too. Muffled voices from the TV swirled with quiet romantic music filled the air to allow for less awkward silence, and mixed with the thick tension between the two of you caused the atmosphere to be flawless. You reached your hand out to cup one of her cheeks and she looked down then at you, slightly taken aback as her eyes looked between yours trying her best to read your intentions hidden behind your doe eyes that didn't pull away from hers even to blink.

“I don't want to talk about it Melissa.” was all you said in a low and desperate voice before you leaned in and pressed your lips to hers. You kissed her with passion and hunger, moving on top of her and stroking her cheek with your thumb. It was then as your legs tangled together that you realized she was only wearing underwear and a tight thin-strapped tank top with a v-shaped neckline that allowed for almost all her cleavage to be on display. You moaned into the kiss as Melissa moved her hands along your waist and to your hips, her fingers gripped them tightly and they found the hem of your own shirt, sliding it up slightly so her fingers could feel your skin. You moved a hand down her side, sliding it slowly over her stomach between your bodies, before moving down to gently brush your fingers over her clothed center. Her hips pushed up into you and you kissed her deeply, she moaned into your mouth and you felt your stomach flip and your core throb. Her hands moved from your hips to your ass, squeezing it firmly before she moved her hands back to your waist. She pulled away and her hand came to grip around your jaw as she admired your reddened face and shallow breathing.

“Remember I call the shots sweetie.” she said in her velvety voice as she pushed her lips to yours with aggression. A pathetic moan slipped into her mouth and without a moment to catch a rhythm she took your bottom lip between her teeth, you moaned again as her knee went to press between your legs. Your kiss grew sloppy as you pushed down onto her knee and you felt her smile as she hummed in satisfaction. She pulled away and sat up and you grew fearful for a moment before she pulled back the covers and sat against the pillows and your breath hitched as you slowly moved up to her, she stopped you with her foot and you wrapped your hands around her ankle in a submissive gesture. With a desperate hand you grabbed her panties and pulled them off before setting them aside, your hands stroked up her calf as you continued to hold her leg, pressing kisses to her silky, soft skin. You went over her knee and started inside her thigh before her pulled you up to her lips with a harsh kiss.

“Good Girl.” she muttered breathily into the kiss as her hands tangled in your hair and you felt your brain melt at the line and the delivery. Your core ached for her and you couldn't help the touch starved nerves reacting to her heavenly grasp. You squeezed her breasts and she moaned which caused a cocky smirk to prick at your mouth and Melissa pulled back and a hand slid to your throat, squeezing ever so gently, before sliding down to rest in a V at the base of your neck, resting above your collarbones.

“Do you like making me feel good baby?” she teased and you nodded hesitantly, “Then don't get cocky about it. Now come on, we have to be quiet.” she quipped and you paused to make sure you weren't just dreaming and everything was going to disappear if you moved too quickly. She moved her hands to your shoulders and pushed you down and you quickly grasped what the gesture ment, your hands slowly ran down the sides of her thighs, you squeezed them, nails teasingly scratching down the sides of her soft skin. With one hand you pushed her shirt up to reveal her stomach, your palm resting flat on her stomach, trailing down to her lower stomach, you traced along the invisible band of panties, moving your hand to her hips. You leaned down and placed kisses to her upper thighs. Her plush and silky skin was irresistible and it made it hard to not soak in every inch of her. You looked up at her with a smile and her hand came to brush your hair from your face. Gentle kisses were placed along the crease between her thigh and stomach and she flinched slightly. You smiled against her skin and you soon felt her hand go to your hair and grip it with a mild force to warn you. With starstruck eyes you looked up at her as you kissed closer to her slit.

“Come on sweetie, I need you now.” she spoke out softly and with a clear flustered tone. Mischievous eyes met her hazy ones and you kissed her center. You didn't waste any time and your lips met her clit, sucking and licking a stripe up her folds. Her hand gripped your hair tighter and you heard her breathing hitch. You smiled to yourself before moaning into her cunt as your tongue collected her slick, you wrapped your hands around her thighs to hold them in place, the pads of your fingers pressing down into her skin. The sweet, soft sounds that left Melissa’s lips painted her in a much different light than you were used to seeing from the rather feisty redhead. Instead here she was beneath you, yearning for you and whimpering as you moved your tongue in circles around her clit before pushing it inside her. Her head went back onto the pillow and her nails ran through your hair, gripping it as you felt the muscles of her thighs flex to move together.

Melissa’s breath grew slow and shallow and you felt her back arching up slightly, you pulled away to breath, a small smirk and she looked down at you quickly.

“The fuck are you doing.” she stated more so rather than asking.

“Breathing Melissa, give me a second baby. Fuck you really are so hot for me huh?” you laughed as you bit your lip with big eyes looking up at her with a seductive playfulness. The hand she had in your hair came down to your face, gently cupping your cheek before she gripped your jaw tightly.

“Be a good girl or I will kick you out and finish myself off.” she hissed with a low voice and you felt your stomach grow hot as your core ached. She jerked your head slightly as she moved her hand back with attitude. It went to rest in your hair again, brushing it away from your face as you kissed her gently on her clit. You knew what she wanted, but as you held onto her, your head between her thighs and her fingers playing with you hair you realized at any moment this could all be gone, she could be gone, and you wouldnt get to live through this amazing of an experience ever again. She had done it to you before too, and that only worried you more. Therefore rushing through this was hard when all you wanted to do was soak up every inch of her body. The curves of her hips, the fold between her thigh and waist, the stretch marks along her bottom that ever so slightly stretch to the sides of her lower stomach like the stripes of a tiger. Her soft, radiant skin that tasted sweet and smelled of roses was a sensation you wouldn't forget. Your tongue flicked over her clit as you moved a hand to her center, shoving a finger in her without warning and moaning into her cunt. You closed your eyes to savor the moment, heightening your other senses. You could taste her sweetness and smell her scent, the sounds that left her pouty lips rang sweetly in your ear and created a rhythm with her heavy breathing. You inserted another finger and she let out a moan and you felt it send a jolt right to your own pussy. You pressed your thighs together and moved your fingers in and out of her slowly, stroking her inside with precision and delicacy. Her hips pushed up and your fingers went in deeper.

“Fuck!” her raspy voice moaned out with more projection than intended and you squeezed her thigh tighter.

“You have to be quiet.” you spoke quickly before continuing to suck on her clit with the rhythm of your fingers thrusting into her.

“I'm almost there sweetie- yes god.” Her hand pulled your hair and her other gripped the sheets as her back arched up off the bed. You felt encouraged to speed up and use more force, your tongue pressed down firmly and her hips jutted slightly and you smiled, they rolled against your fingers and tongue as she breathed heavy. You looked up at her and the sight alone could replace any porno you could watch. Her hair and face was illuminated from the TV and her brows were pushed together as her teeth bit into her bottom lip, holding in a moan. Her chest was glistening ever so slightly from the sheen of erotics. You picked up the pace and felt her squeeze around your fingers, her hips grinded into you faster and you matched her pace, you moaned into her cunt, the vibrations causing a sensation to ripple through her clit and she whined through tight lips.

“Fuck Im gonna cum baby.” she spoke heavily and her thighs squeezed around you as she came, her cunt hugging your fingers as you continued to move them. Her legs tensed up and her back was off the bed. Her hips didnt stop but slowed as she rode out her high and allowed her body to rest back on the bed fully, she caught her breath and opened her eyes finally looking down at you. You pulled your fingers out of her and she grabbed you hand keeping them inside of her and you felt your core tighten, you placed sloppy kisses on her inner thigh and she sighed. Slowly your fingers curled inside of her and she flinched with a grunt. You continued the motion and she sucked in a breath. You didn't tear your darkening eyes away from her sparkling ones as you moved your thumb to brush her clit. Both of her hands came up to rest on your shoulders, gripping them and stroking over them and over your biceps before back up and to your neck, they tangled in your hair and the action sent a chill up your spine. Your fingers moved faster and you felt her clench around you and you smiled at her. She bit her lip and her eyes grew hazy as she rapidly reached a second orgasm. She didn't allow her eyes to shut, wanting to watch you admire her as she came around your fingers for a second time.

She let out a soft moan as she came and she couldn't help but feel some of the serotonin from the high quickly go to waste as she looked into your eyes. So sweet and pure looking up at her with such admiration. Your lips were red and puffy and your eyes glossy from your prior efforts and she couldn't help but feel guilty as she looked into your helpless eyes. Yes you could take care of yourself, and yes being in your general presence was just as good as being in bed with you, but Melissa couldn't shake this guilt she was taking opportunities away from you. When you finally pulled out and away from her, you crawled up to meet her lips. Her green eyes looked over your face as you hovered over her, her hands coming to stroke your cheek and tuck hair from your face. The domestic and loving action gave you intense butterflies and you smiled, leaning in to press your lips against hers.

She moaned into the kiss as she tasted herself on your plump lips and she allowed her tongue to enter your mouth as she deepened the kiss, her hand coming to rest on your lower back. You pulled back and kissed down her jaw, moving to her neck and quickly reaching her chest, you placed kisses down her sternum and stopped at the top of her cleavage. You looked up at her and she just admired you worshiping her. You were everything she ever wanted, so why on earth did it still feel wrong to love every minute she was with you. After all these months and encounters, sex and fighting, kissing and laughing, you brought her a joy she couldn't find with anyone else.

“We need to fuck somewhere I can hear all the moans from your pretty mouth freely.” you muttered against her chest before looking up at her. She was smiling and the mischievous glint in your eyes faded as you looked into hers. You could see she was thinking hard about something and you pushed your brows together slightly as you came to meet her face once more. Your stomachs were pressed together and your legs intertwined your arm propping you up so you could look into her eyes.

“What's wrong Melissa?” you asked softly and she was quick to shake her head. Her fingers grazed your cheek softly and she played with the hair behind your ear.

“Nothing, you did so good for me baby.” she smiled and you felt a relief spread through you. She suddenly moved and flipped you so she was on top. Her warm body pressed against yours as she leaned in and kissed you with haste until your lips quickly began to grow pink and raw again, you pulled away for air and without a second thought her soft lips were moving down your jaw and your neck. You moaned when she bit down suddenly and your hips pushed up into hers. Nerves and adrenaline flooded your veins and you were on a whole other high from it.

You could feel your panties were soaked, and from that though you moved your hand from Melissa's breast to squeeze her still naked bottom.

“Take off your clothes hon.” she muttered into your hot flesh. You smirked and obeyed taking off your dress and allowing Melissa to have her way with you.

You woke up to bright light from the sunrise shining in through the window and your eyes fluttered as they adjusted. Looking around confused, your eyes went wide when you saw Melissa beside you still and realized you had never made it back to your room. A hand went to your head before looking over at the alarm clock. Thankfully it was only six so you quickly grabbed your dress from the foot of the bed and your panties that were lost in the sheets. All the movement caused Melissa to wake up and she looked over at you.

“Fuck.” was all she said and you nodded in agreement as you stood up out of the bed. You grabbed a throw blanket to wrap around you and looked around for your phone. When you realized you didn't bring it with you, you let out an exhausted sigh before looking up at Melissa. Even freshly awake from a night like you’d had, she still looked like an angel, her hair was still loosely curled and her lashes were long. She watched you with uncertainty, nor sure what to say or do.

“What time do you leave?” you asked softly and her eyes looked over your expression but you managed to maintain a rather neutral one.

“Ten.” she answered and you nodded.

“Um-” you started to fill the awkward air and she shook her head.

“It's fine hon, there's no reason to act like you shouldnt be leaving, we can't have anyone seeing.” you nodded once more and looked down.

“I guess I will see you for Anthony's birthday then.” you said casually and she looked over your frame with confusion.

“His birthday party isn't until the end of March?” The phrase came out almost as a question, hoping it could disguise the slight hurt in the sentence. You looked up at her and shrugged.

“Yeah I mean I don't usually come back for anything between now and then.” Your words were honest and you couldn't help but be shy from the thick tension in the air that seemed to suck out the oxygen causing your lungs to tighten slightly.

“So you dont want to see each other til then?” you looked in her eyes at the question, she seemed genuinely unbothered to be asking and this only confused you more. In reality Melissa was just as confused as you. Did you not want to see her or were you too scared to ask out of fear of another rejection by her hand.

“If i'm ever in Philly i'll give you a call, you do the same for me too?” Your heart stung a bit but you knew this was the best arrangement. You weren't a couple and you could never be one and you both needed to accept that.

“Okay.” she nodded and you smiled.

“Ok.” you turned to leave but she got up.

“Hang on, Hon.” She came to stand in front of you and you faced her, her hands came to grasp your face gently and she pulled you in for a kiss, her lips pressed against yours with tender love and pure emotion. You kissed her back, her sweetness filling your senses as your mouths moved in a perfect rhythm. She pulled away, placing one more peck and then looking between your eyes, gathering any remaining information she could. Your heart fluttered as your eyes gazed into hers and you gave her a sweet smile before opening the door.

“Don't be a stranger.” she said sincerely and rather softly, causing an ache in your chest as the vulnerable tone.

“I'd be an idiot to try and forget you Melissa.” you walked out quietly and shut the door behind you before quietly shuffling back to your room. As soon as you shut your door the wave of depression and uncertainty hit and you fell into bed, sliding into your sheets and drifting back into a deep sleep.

When you woke up the house was silent, your phone was dead on your nightstand, and it was cloudy outside. You stood up slipping on a t- shirt and shorts and going into the hall. The guest room door was cracked and you walked over slowly. Your hands pulled it back and you peeked inside. The air was empty and clean, the bed was made, and it looked almost untouched. As if she hadn't even been here at all. As if it really was all just a dream. The only thing that allowed you to believe it really happened was the familiar weight on your chest, and the lingering touch of her on your skin.

Like always, you wouldn't see her again for months. The only thing that was different this time around was when you went back to work your boss was eagerly waiting for you. Standing before you like a confident and sexy method of getting over Melissa faster.

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okkkk what did we think??? please lmk and please send in requestsss

tags// @vyvvycg @freshrot @neverfindmegone @insert-issueslol @pitstopsapphic @darkcolorphantom

#abbott elementary #lisa ann walter #melissa x reader #melissa schemmenti x reader #melissa schemmenti x you #melissa schemmenti x y/n #melissa schemmenti smut

216 notes · View notes

elliespassagerprincess · 10 months

Note

pls make reader and milf!abby have a baby together 😭😭😭

Baby - part 1/3 (Milf!Abby x reader)

This is going to be a 3 part series! Part 2 will be released soon:)

Milf abby: Part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4

baby series: part 1 part 2 part 3

masterlist

Authors note: i'm back fr, i finally finished with exams and I'm here to spam with fics again

☆ Milf Abby who was happy with the life the two of you were already living but something was missing.

☆Milf Abby who always thought you were good with kids

☆ Milf Abby who never really thought about having another kid until she married you.

☆ Milf Abby who thinks about it a little too much, if she has to be honest

☆ Milf Abby who never brought up the conversation of having another baby even though you were hinting at having another kid.

"Abby isn’t this cute" you said with a pout as you handed her a onesie you bought for Mel's baby shower.

"Abby look" you pointed at Aubrey playing with one of your collogues newborn baby: "she’d be such a good big sister"

☆ Milf Abby who would only nod or smile at whatever you had to say involving babies because she was terrified.

☆ Milf Abby who was asked about when the two of you were gonna have a baby.

"So..." Nora started

"yeah?" the blonde looked at her with a raised eyebrow

"when are you and your girl gonna have a baby?"

suddenly Abby's body went cold, she could hear her heart beating out of her chest and she silently stared at Nora with wide eyes.

"We um-"

"Abby having another baby?"

They heard a voice talk from behind them. Both of the girls heads snapped into the direction of the voice and there stood Mel, still heavily pregnant.

"When you have a kid you should be able to play with them, and to run around- don’t you think you passed that stage already? Don’t you have back pain or something?"

"Mel" Nora said sternly.

"no Nora she has to hear the truth" Mel replied.

Abby met the eyes of the brunette and Mel gave her a sympathetic smile: "by the time your baby is ten you'd almost be sixty, you'd be her grandma Abby"

☆ Milf Abby who agreed with Mel.

☆ Milf Abby who avoided you for a few days because she felt like she was keeping you back in life.

"Can you shut the fuck up" she said with a frustrated sigh.

You looked at her with a raised eyebrow. You knew there was something wrong due to her distant behavior recently. You thought she was stressed, tired maybe.

“Abby I just asked if you wanted something to eat”

Abby looked at you with a blank facial expression, before she looked down to the floor, brining her head into her hands.

You walked towards her putting your hand on her shoulder “talk to me abs”

you felt her muscles tense underneath your touch “c’mon Abby you can tell me anything”

she finally looked up from her hands, and she made brief eye contact with you before she looked away once again

“I-“

“spit it out”

“I don’t think we should have a baby”

“what?”

“listen baby” she started, and she gently took your hands into hers as she saw your eyes fill with tears

“I did some thinking, and I don’t think we should have a baby because I’m happy just with you and Aubrey. Don’t you think another baby will complicate our life?”

You stared at her in shock, how could she not tell you about this earlier?

“Abby you knew. You fucking knew I wanted to have kids, and you said you wanted the same. Now you want to change your mind?”

“Can I not change my mind?”

“You have every right to, but you know how I felt about having kids. You know that I've always wanted to be a mom"

She knew that. She knew all of this.

“aren’t you already a mom to Aubrey? Are you saying my daughter isn't good enough?”

“I did not fucking say that and you know that”

“but you meant it”

“fuck you” was all you said as you got up and walked towards the room the two of you shared.

She doesn’t know why she said that.

God Abby fucking knows what she said was wrong. It's not that she doesn’t want to have kids, its just she knew Mel had a point. She would be in her sixties by the time your baby would be done with high school.

Maybe she was too old after all.

☆ Milf Abby who had to listen to you sob throughout the night.

☆ Milf Abby who tried talking to you the next morning.

Abby let out a groan as she heard Aubrey giggle. She brought her hands up to her eyes as she opened them.

The light has always been bright in the living, but jesus she didn’t know they were this fucking bright.

Abby winched as she sat up from the couch, her limbs felt like they were burning. Her eyes fell on you and Aubrey. The two of you were eating and smiling, and as she took in the scene and she knew it was fucked up of her to say what she said yesterday.

Abby got up, still feeling stiff but she made her way towards the two people who she loved the most.

Aubrey gave her a bug smile and muttered a quick "good morning mommy" before she ran to her room. She smiled at her daughters before she focused her attention towards you.

You didn't even look at her.

She felt sick to her stomach.

“I left some eggs for you” was all you said before you walked out the kitchen.

Abby really fucked up.

☆ Milf Abby who tried getting your attention all week but you ignored her.

☆ Milf Abby who tried talking to you but all you replied with was “I don’t want to talk”

☆ Milf Abby who finally had enough and she decided that she should tell you what actually happened.

☆ Milf Abby who showed up to your classroom once again.

The room was empty and you stood with your back facing away from the door. Abby quietly walked towards you.

“hi”

she watched as your body jerked “jesus Abby I told you that you should start knocking” you said out of breath.

"Sorry" she mumbled

"can we talk?" she watched you facial expression turn cold.

“sure”

“thank you”

The room was filled a awkward silence, it was tense and it felt suffocating.

“talk Abby, I have things to do”

“I'm sorry”

“is sorry all you can fucking say?”

Abby wanted to bang her head against a wall.

“I want to have a baby with you”

“aw you changed your mind? What happened? Did I force you Abby? Are you sure you want this Abby? Oh wait! I don’t think I want to be a mom anymore, since you said that I m practically going to replace Aubrey. Oops let me-"

"it was Mel"

"what did Mel do?"

And the truth came out. Abby told you everything she said, how I made her feel.

You gave her a sympathetic smile before you spoke again: "You need to stop letting people tell you you're too old Abby. You keep losing opportunities, you keep giving yup your dreams, as soon as someone says something. You need to learn that you should stop listing to what others have to say about your age"

“I know but its hard” Abby muttered.

You got up and you walked towards her and you pulled her into a tight up “I know, but we’ll work though it. I’ll help you with whatever and if you don’t want to have a baby its ok-"

"no no I want to have a baby. I want to have one with you"

a smile spread onto your face.

"can we have a baby?" Abby asked.

"if you start working on your self confidence and you stop listing to what bitches have to say about you I will then we can have a baby"

"yes ma'am, i'll do whatever you say"

"one more thing Abby"

"yeah?"

"Don't ever talk to me in that way again. What you said really hurt my feelings, and i understand you were hurting too but it didn't give you the right to talk to me in that way. I love Aubrey more than anything so don't say that again"

"I'm so sorry baby i really am, i there anything i can do to make it up to you?"

"You can start by getting me chocolate milk"

☆ Milf Abby who made it up to you by apologizing over a million times, and by doing every single thing you said.

☆ Milf Abby who immediately started looking for doctors and baby names.

☆ Milf Abby who blocked Mel because fuck her and her fucking opinions.

☆ Milf Abby who did started working on her self confidence and she immediately felt better about everything.

☆ Milf Abby who was excited to have a baby with you.

My pookies (the taglist): @lia-winther @hellorai

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forzalando · 4 months

Note

💛 hi 🥹 CONGRATS ON 3K THAT'S HUUUUUGE !!!!

I am obsessed with this idea and also my favourite activity (as of recently lmao) is drunk karaoke and of COURSE my dream would be to do it with lando !!!!

drunk karaoke with Lando would, and i'm not exaggerating, mean everything to me. i am in love with just the idea of this.

thank you for supporting me through the many phases of this blog and for entertaining my every thought/idea. adore you, mel💛 i hope you enjoy this blurb that was meant to be 300-400 words but ended up being 800+ lol

celebration post: here

Drunk Karaoke with Lando Norris under the cut😊

You quickly downed the shot thrust into your hand – sambuca, which meant it absolutely came from Lando since he was the only one who knew of your preference.

He was on your left, sweaty and somehow wide awake despite the fact you’d been out for hours. Oscar was on your right, slowly swaying to the music with his eyes half shut. Somewhere across the club Charles and Pierre were dancing on an elevated surface while George videotaped them like a suburban soccer mom at her son’s first game. Here in Monaco, everyone partied post-race as if they themselves had made it to the top step over the weekend.

Out of nowhere, Lando fell into you as he shouted in your ear – “Do you know what I’ve always wanted to do?”

Oscar caught you before you could topple over, steadying you on your feet before shooting Lando a dirty look.

“Sorry, sorry,” Lando giggled. He centered himself and then put his hands on your shoulders, looking the most serious you’d ever seen him. “Anyway, do you know what I’ve always wanted to do?”

“Win at Silverstone? Become world champion?”

“Well, yes, but think smaller, you lunatic. Something I could do right now.”

“Out drink Max?”

“What? No, I don’t care about outdrinking Max, where did that come from?”

“Well, I just thought since he usually wins every race that you’d want to beat him at something – ”

“Oh my god, you’re impossible,” Oscar interjected. “He wants to do drunk karaoke. When we went out in Miami he was practically on his knees begging me to sing with him.”

A giant grin spread across your face as you playfully swatted Lando’s chest.

“Why didn’t you just say so? I happen to be an excellent karaoke partner,” you boasted.

Lando clapped his hands and jumped around like a toddler at your remark – “So, you’ll do it with me?”

Instead of answering, you snatched his hand and pulled him through the club at an impressive speed. You weren’t in a karaoke bar, quite far from it, but you planted yourself in front of the DJ booth and gestured to Lando. Security immediately pulled you both into the booth, perks of having Lando at your side, and the DJ of the night asked what she could do for you.

“Hi! Lando Norris wants to do drunk karaoke and I’m trusting that you can make that happen. It’s very important to him,” you professed.

“I think I might have a couple instrumentals or could make some magic happen. Any specific requests? You won’t have any lyrics on screen, though. And you’ll have to share a mic.”

Before you could ask what your options were, Lando was shouting, once again, in your ear.

“DO YOU HAVE THE SPICE GIRLS? THAT ONE SPICE GIRLS SONG?”

“Lando, we won’t have the lyrics,” you reminded him.

“I don’t need them,” he declared, crossing his arms with attitude. “Maybe you need them, fake fan.”

“I most certainly do not,” you yelled back to Lando. “DJ, roll the track. Pretty please. You're amazing."

She chuckled and handed you the singular mic, Lando immediately snatching it from your hands.

“It’s my dream, I get to hold the mic.”

You rolled your eyes and fought back a smile, stepping into his side as he threw an arm around you.

The deafening bass from the speakers grew quiet as the DJ addressed the crowd of people – “we’ve got a special surprise tonight! These two lovely friends of mine up here are going to perform a special number for everyone. Please welcome – ”

She paused, waiting for you and Lando to introduce yourselves.

“LANDO NORRIS AND Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Please welcome Lando Norris and Y/N Y/L/N to my booth. Show them some love!”

The clapping and cheering brought the volume in the club back to an obscene level – the loudest cheers coming from a VIP table not far from the booth where all of your friends had gathered.

Before you had a chance to feel the slightest bit self-conscious, the infamous laugh rang through the speakers and Lando was scream-singing into the mic.

“YO, I’LL YOU WHAT I WANT, WHAT I REALLY, REALLY WANT!”

The two of you in perfect sync, passing lines back and forth, singing (if you could call it that) in unison during the chorus. You could have sworn you heard George shout out that this was “his song” and Max was most definitely telling anyone who would listen that he personally knows Ginger Spice.

You tore your eyes from the audience to look at Lando – the smile on his face rivaling the brightest sunny day. With his arm around you, squeezing you to his side, your closest friends cheering for you, your heart was sure to burst from happiness. There was no place you’d rather be in that moment than making a drunken fool of yourself with the most important person in your life by your side.

And if Lando was thinking the same thing, about how he was happier in that moment than he’d ever been, podiums and race win included, he’d keep that to himself for just a minute more.

#forzalando 3k #sof1shticated #moots💛#lando norris blurb #lando norris x reader #lando norris fluff

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springwitch26 · 1 year

Text

hots for teacher (part 2) (melissa schemmenti x fem!reader)

part 1

summary: you've been infatuated with melissa schemmenti ever since you worked under her as a student teacher. what will happen when you meet again a few years later? (part 2: what happens)

warnings: smut, intensely NSFW, praise kink, age gap, squirting, d/s vibes, inexperienced!reader, minors and men please don't touch this post

notes: ask and you shall receive, beauties! thank you for all the love on part 1, it's kinda surreal to be writing my own fics but also super liberating. any feedback is welcome. idk when i'll write again but i may or may not have another little nsfw draft with a more... punishing... interpretation of mel so we'll see! also, feel free to send me asks because i'm lonely. this one goes out to whoever said melissa schemmenti loves sluts, 'cause yeah she does.

the car ride back to melissa's place felt like it would never end. you crossed your legs when you first got into the passenger seat--partly out of habit and partly to get some friction on your aching core--and were quickly reprimanded.

"tsk tsk, baby. guess i'll have to teach you manners, too. keep those pretty thighs apart for me, all the way home. you're gonna wait patiently until i get my hands on you," melissa scolded.

you whined incoherently, and she responded with a dangerous laugh. the trip was short but unbearable. she had one hand on the steering wheel, while the other drew lazy patterns on your inner thigh. you squirmed and writhed, even moaned quietly, but she remained nonchalant.

at one point, when her fingers drew oh-so close to where you needed them most, your thighs snapped shut of their own accord.

"c'mon, legs open," was all she said in response. she tried to act casual, but you could tell from her excited half-smile that she was enjoying this game more than she let on.

as soon as you got in the door, she was on you. you barely had the focus to take in your surroundings as she lavished you with kisses, working her way across your lips and face before burying herself in your neck. her house was cozy and tastefully decorated with gentle lighting. in the soft glow, her slightly disheveled hair and lustful eyes were a sight you'd never forget.

"is there anyone--oh!" you squealed as her fingers began to trace circles on your nipples through your dress. "is there anyone else here?"

"sensitive, huh?" she teased, smirking down at you. "and no, it's just me tonight."

before you had time to consider what that last word implied, she picked you up and effortlessly whisked you to her bedroom. you were dazzled by the sight of her private space--it was simple yet beautiful, adorned with shades of green and twinkling lights. you didn't expect this level of whimsy from her, and it somehow made her even sexier.

she laid you on the bed carefully, reverently. "god, look at you." she whispered, sending shivers down your spine as she positioned herself on top of you and returned to your lips.

by now you were painfully needy from all her teasing, and you just needed her to fuck you senseless. you tried to convey that with your impatient noises, but it seemed the older woman had other plans. she pulled away from your lips to take in your flushed, desperate face.

"soon, sweetheart, soon. i know you're so worked up, but i plan to make this last."

you hummed in acknowledgment, turning your attention to the buttons of her shirt. you thought maybe if you got her a bit more riled up, she would be less inclined to take her time.

melissa groaned, feeling your delicate fingers ghost over her chest, but shook her head in disapproval. she removed your hands from her shirt, grabbing your wrists with surprising force. "i'm not taking my clothes off yet. i'm in charge, and you need to learn patience."

you gave her your best pout, but you knew she wouldn't budge. this was about power, not patience. she wanted to be clothed, composed and in control while you lay naked and vulnerable underneath her.

she started to pull at the fabric of your dress. you lifted your hips, and in one fluid motion, she slipped it over your head and off of you. it was an expert move, and you shivered at the idea that she had done this many times before.

when she saw your body, she paused for a moment, her mouth slightly open and her pupils dilated. "no bra?" she asked under her breath, not looking for an answer. "you're so soft in my hands..." she mused as her hands massaged your breasts. her fingers moved to pinch and rub over your nipples.

you moaned, bucking your hips upward and seeking more contact. she took the hint and directed her attention to your core.

"nice panties, by the way," she said with a cocky laugh, tugging playfully at the soaked pink lace. "who knew little miss gothic had a colorful side?"

"please, mel, no more teasing, i need you so bad," was all you could manage.

"okay, baby, let's get these off ya." she hooked her fingers through your panties and you lifted your hips, allowing her to drag them off. she folded them neatly and tucked them into her front pocket. something cutesy to remind her of you, wet and pliant under her touch.

"mmm, such a messy girl. you must feel so embarrassed, all spread out and naked for me while i'm fully clothed, playin' with you."

you could only whimper and whine, helplessly turned on by her words but pinned to the bed and unable to move. she cooed at you and took pity, moving down your body to get closer to your core.

she placed her hands once again on the insides of your thighs, gently pulling them apart and revealing your glistening pussy. her breath stuttered upon seeing the wetness covering your core and thighs.

"jesus, hon, you're dripping. you're just aching for me, aren't ya? need me to make you feel good?"

"yes!" you finally exclaimed, regaining your voice. "yes, please, melissa, please touch me, i need you," you begged.

"well, since you asked so nicely..." she gave you a smirk and trailed a finger between your puffy lips, gathering the wetness there.

by this point you were writhing all over the bed, so she had to pin your legs down with her knees. neither of you minded, though. you enjoyed feeling completely at her mercy, and she enjoyed watching you squirm under her.

finally, after an eternity of torture, she gave in, slipping a finger into you with ease and rubbing gentle circles over your clit.

"so tight, fuck," she muttered to herself as she began to move inside you, transfixed by the feeling of you around her.

"feels so good, ohhh..." you mewled as her finger quickly found a rhythm, pumping forcefully and curling at your most sensitive spots.

"you're taking me so well, baby, my brave girl," she soothed, relishing in her ability to draw such pathetic sounds from you. "can you handle one more?"

you nodded frantically, almost too lost in the haze of pleasure to hear her.

she grinned and pushed another finger inside you, making you cry out. you were relatively inexperienced, so the stretch was a bit painful at first, but you were soon overcome by the bliss of feeling so full.

"that's new, huh? poor baby, can barely take two fingers," her thrusts got rougher, as if she was trying to break you. "don't whine now, you wanted this."

you were overwhelmed with pleasure and the slight pain of the intrusion. her fingers were long, nimble and skilled, and she seemed to know all the right spots and rhythms to make you see stars. her fingers stroked your clit with more pressure now, making you shake and moan uncontrollably. it was almost too much. you wanted to scream, but you could only produce pathetic little whimpers of "ah, ah, ah!"

she was clearly aware of what she was doing, and she revelled in your pleasure. she would ease up, return to a gentler pace, and then thrust hard into your g-spot just to hear your cries and gasps. she longed to see you lose control.

"that's a good girl, keep takin' my fingers just like that. you're close, aren't you baby? let's see how long you can last against me," she said, her voice deep and her smile mischievous. there was a competitive edge to her words, like making you fall apart was some kind of victory to her.

suddenly she pulled away completely, and you nearly sobbed. your hips bucked up into nothing. your helpless whimpers were music to the older woman's ears, and she snickered to herself as she moved down your body.

for a moment, there was silence. you stared at her, silently pleading for her touch. she cocked her head at you and raised an eyebrow, silently asking you: are you ready? you nodded intently. you weren't sure what she was going to do to you, but you sure as hell wanted to find out.

before you even had the chance to brace yourself, she was thrusting two fingers roughly inside you again, rubbing hard at that spongy spot. for the final blow, melissa leaned down and attached her lips to your clit, sucking harshly.

"not yet, sweetheart. stay with me," she said, grinning from ear to ear as she felt your walls flutter and clench around her.

with her free hand, she reached up and pressed softly on your lower abdomen. between that, the punishing thrusts, and the hot pressure on your clit, you couldn't take it anymore. the sensations overwhelmed you. the world went blank, and all you could feel was warmth. you swam through oceans of white-hot ecstasy, riding wave after wave of pleasure. and melissa was right there, coaxing you through heaven's gates.

melissa's thumbs rubbed soothing circles into your outer thighs, bringing you back down to earth. "come back to me," she whispered sweetly. you opened your eyes.

"there she is," she said, her eyes sparkling with relief.

she gave you a giddy smile and you noticed the wetness all over her face... and fingers... and sheets. you couldn't help but feel embarrassed.

melissa must have picked up on this, as she took hold of your hand and reassured you. "don't be embarrassed, angel. that was probably the hottest thing i've ever seen." she laid down next to you as she spoke.

you hummed and buried your face in the crook of her neck. she was warm and smelled like cinnamon.

"did you know you could do that, hon?" she asked.

"yeah," you giggled, still dazed. "but i didn't know you could do that."

"i'm fulla surprises, kid," she laughed, stroking your hair. "let me run us a bath, and then we'll see what kind of surprises you've got in you."

she carried you bridal-style to the bathtub, and you relaxed into the bliss. feeling the warmth of her arms around your frame. drowning in her.

#melissa schemmenti x y/n #melissa schemmenti/reader #melissa schemmenti x you #melissa schemmenti x reader #melissa schemmenti #wlw ns/fw #fanfic #kinktober

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the-record · 11 months

Text

kissing lessons: 3

synopsis: it was like she’d never left as you settled back into friendship, but how you wished there was more to it.

song: kissing lessons - lucy dacus

pairing: college!ellie x reader

warnings: nothing??

a/n: getting juicy now 😊😊

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4

“move in with me.”

was she crazy? you couldnt just move in with her.

“im sorry?”

ellie laughed, you looked at her like she was crazy. “move in with me! ive got an apartment like 10 minutes from here.”

“ellie, respectfully, i haven’t seen you for a decade, and you think im just gonna move in with you to an apartment ive never seen? that you don’t even live in?” you stood up, arms crossed over your chest and paced. “and, even if i wanted to, im still 17, i dont turn 18 until september. i cant just move out. my mom would, like, i don’t know… she’d probably call the police.”

ellie smiled was you through out every possibility under the sun. “she’d disown me. take back my car. she pays for it, not me. and i don’t know if my job even pays enough for me to pay rent.” your threw your hands in the air and finally saw ellie’s small laugh. “what are you laughing at?”

she shrugged, pulling you back down to her bed. “i don’t even move in until the end of september. and only someone who was considering it would come up with all that in two minutes.” she sighed when you rolled your eyes at her. “you keep rolling those eyes and they’re gonna get stuck.”

“oh my god, shut up.” she watched you try to hide a smile.

ellie couldn’t help but wonder about you even as you sat in front of her. what did you love and what did you hate? what made you tick? did you remember everything she taught you in her old room? on the mattress you sat on now. how to kiss, and how to get cole or justin or whatever guy had a crush on you.

she wondered what you wanted to do in life. who you were friends with at school. if you wanted to kiss her as much as she wanted to kiss you. like old times.

your heads both turned as the street lights flicked on.

“i better get going.”

“stay for dinner.”

your voices overlapped before silence.

“okay.”

ellie smiled, getting up and holding a hand out to you. you took and she pulled you up but didn’t let go as she led you back downstairs.

god it was gonna be hard to be just friends.

“so,” joel sat down his fork and looked at you. “have you thought about college? where you wanna go? what you’d like to study.”

you nodded, copying joel and putting down your own fork. “yeah, i was planning to stay here actually. instate tuition and all that.” you took a sip of water before continuing. “i think i’d like to be a teacher? maybe. i just know i want to work with kids.”

“wouldn’t even have to learn about them, considering you are one,” ellie teased. you kicked her shin under the table. “ow, fuck.”

“ellie no cursing at the dinner table.” joel winked at you as ellie scoffed. “what’s happened since we’ve been gone?”

you sat back in your chair, thinking about everything of sustenance. “honestly nothing. it’s incredibly boring.” you gasped as you remembered. “mel got pregnant last year.”

ellie nearly spit out her food. “no way.” you nodded, picking up your fork again. “with who? what’d her parents do?”

“owen.” ellie gasped as you nodded. “who, mind you, at the time was dating abby.”

“good god.” joel stood up, taking his plate with him. “thats enough for me.” you and ellie laughed as he left.

ellie cleared her throat as you took a bite. “20 questions?” you nodded and set down your fork before getting comfortable. “favorite song?”

you hummed, “kyoto, phoebe bridgers.” ellie nodded approvingly. “favorite movie?”

“the outsiders.” you groaned and ellies jaw dropped. “excuse me? whats your favorite then?”

“practical magic, duh.” you smirked as she rolled her eyes. “you keep rolling those eyes and they’re gonna get stuck.” you echoed her comment from earlier.

“you’re so annoying.” ellie flicked a pea at you.

you threw one back, hitting her forehead. “favorite book?”

she thought for a moment before she answered. “catcher in the rye.”

“good one.” she nodded. “wanna get slushies?”

ellie bolted up with a smile, “god i thought you’d never ask.”

“i can’t believe you dont get cherry and blue raspberry.” you shouldered ellie as you walked back to your car.

ellie scoffed. “i can’t believe you do.” she pulled at the passenger door. “unlock the car.” you got in, closing your door and locking it. “angel.”

you smiled at her and turned on music, singing along between sips. ellie walked around to your window and knocked. your pretended to be shocked, turning down the radio and rolling down the window. “what can i do for you this fine evening?”

ellie leaned her arms on the car door with an innocent smile. “can i kiss you?”

“what?” your face and mind blanked long enough for ellie to unlock the door and pull it open. you barely realized before she was clambering over you to the passenger seat. “oh fuck you.”

ellie gasped, “how unladylike. you just sip your slushy and get me home safely,” she teased as she buckled her seat belt.

you fought the urge to roll your eyes as you shut your door and put the car in reverse.

how badly you wanted to have said yes.

#💋kissing lessons💋#ellie williams x you #ellie williams fluff #ellie williams fic #ellie willams the last of us #ellie williams angst #ellie williams tlou #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams

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musical-chick-13 · 10 months

Text

*sigh* We may not make the "finish this by end of November" goal, my dudes.

#abundant apologies to anyone who is praying for me to shut up about this fic #the Fog is just. my god it's so bad.#got lab results back and there are. Problems™. that need to be fixed. so like good news is there might be an actual explanation.#bad news is that there are. as I mentioned. Problems™.#I'm so tired of having a body that will not fucking work #mel's Illness™ chronicles #I also hope that anyone who for whatever reason IS looking forward to this isn't expecting it to be GOOD. like I think we've long-passed #the feasibility of that goal #anyway if anyone has any tips about how not to tie your worth to an idealized vision of productivity/task output let me know!

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megalony · 5 months

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Bedroom Talk- Part 2

This is an Eddie Diaz imagine, based on a request. I'm so happy and thankful so many of you have loved this little series and I am open to writing a 3rd part if anyone would like that or has ideas.

Please let me know what you think.

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Eddie Diaz Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Summary: Eddie and (Y/n) have a heart to heart when (Y/n) talks about having another baby. But Eddie can't go through that trauma again, not after last time.

Enjoy.

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A shiver coursed down (Y/n)'s spine when she heard the front door open and close.

Oh God. This was it. Now or never. She was going to have to talk to him; she was going to have to tell him.

She kept her back to the kitchen door and stayed stood in front of the fridge, pretending to look for something when really, she was staring into an abyss. Her breathing momentairely stopped while her eyes zoned out and all she could see was the doctor's office she had been sat in this morning.

Her mind zoned out enough that the blinking light in the fridge and the quiet, distressed beeping didn't phase her or break through the static in her ears. Her hand stayed curled around the fridge door and her head tilted to one side.

At least with her back to the door, Eddie wouldn't see the tears welling up in her eyes.

The sound of his trainers clashing against the kitchen floor finally snapped through to (Y/n)'s brain and made her slam the fridge shut before the temperature began to drop.

She stayed rooted to the spot, even when she felt a familiar pair of arms encase her waist and pin her up against his chest. Her head flopped to the left, pressing her cheek against Eddie's hair that was damp and fluffy like a feather pillow. Her hands moved down to hold onto his wrists while he gave her a tight squeeze and attached his lips to the side of her neck.

"Hi baby." He murmured softly into her neck while (Y/n) closed her eyes to try and stay calm and compose herself.

She took note of the shirt Eddie was wearing, she could feel the material rubbing against her bare arms. He had changed out of his gym gear. He was no longer wearing the rubbery vest top or training shorts he left in this morning. he was in a softer, thinner cotton shirt and a pair of jeans. He must have had a long workout to change at the gym instead of when he got home.

"Hi," She didn't trust her voice but she tried her best to sound calm and she kissed his head, nuzzling her nose into his hair to try and control her nerves.

"Where are the kids?"

Eddie realised he couldn't hear the tv or hear Lilah screaming and babbling loudly as she played with her toys. And Chris wasn't in the living room, and he couldn't hear their eldest playing any games in his bedroom either. The house was oddly quiet and that meant the kids weren't here because if they were outside, (Y/n) would of been out there with them.

"Buck's taken them to the zoo." (Y/n) had only asked Evan if he could watch the kids for an hour or two, but he had happily come round to pick them up. And as soon as Chris asked if they could go out, Evan was bubbling with excitement and ready to take him and Lilah to the zoo.

She knew Evan had guessed something was playing on her mind and that something was wrong, but he didn't pry. He took the kids the moment she asked and gave her a comforting hug before he left.

"Oh… so you're mine for the afternoon then. What'd you wanna do?" Eddie moved his hands down to (Y/n)'s hips and turned her around in his grip so they were facing one another.

He didn't see her face for very long before she pushed up on her toes to lock her arms around his neck and pull him down to her. He felt her nose brush across his neck and tickle the base of his shoulder and he grinned into her hair. His hands moved around to curl back around her waist and he began gliding his hand up and down her back.

He didn't realise Evan wanted to see the kids today, not that he was complaining. It was never an issue when Evan wanted to take the kids out, and it was a surprise to find that he could have (Y/n) to himself for the day. It had been a while since he'd had her to himself and didn't have to fight for her attention without the kids bustling in.

They stayed tangled together like that for a few quiet minutes and Eddie felt his smile fading against her hair when (Y/n) didn't say anything. She just held him. And he stayed wrapped around her, she felt like she needed some comfort, although he couldn't fathom why.

Eventually, just as Eddie was about to say something, (Y/n) pulled back. Her fingers tangled in the short hair at the base of his head and made a shiver run down his neck when she tightened her grip. She took him by surprise and leaned up to connect their lips. The kiss was heavy and burdened and demanding and needy all at once.

It took Eddie by surprise and knocked him on his back foot. He felt like this was a silent message he was supposed to decode, but he didn't know how.

He parted his lips, inhaling as deep a breath as he could manage before he dove down and stole her lips as demanding as she had initiated with him. His fingers dug deep into her hips and he felt her back curve against his hand as she leaned back and let him push her down. His chest moulded against hers and he groaned, tracing his tongue across hers when she scratched the base of his neck.

(Y/n) could see stars dancing across Eddie's face when they finally pulled up for air. His chest panted along with hers and a mixture of confusion and lust pooled in his eyes.

Why had she kissed him so desperately like that? Why was she looking at him worriedly like that? Why wasn't she talking to him?

He stayed still but loose and easily moveable, tilting his head down to watch the way (Y/n) laced her fingers with his and clung to his sweating palm.

When she walked ahead of him, Eddie let her drag him behind her, gripping her hand tight while his other hand cupped her hip again, softer and lighter this time. His chest moved near her back, keeping only a hairline fracture of space between them as he followed (Y/n) wordlessly out of the kitchen.

He wondered for a moment if she was about to divert down the hall towards the bedroom, but he followed and turned with her when she aimed for the living room instead.

Eddie studied the way (Y/n) sat down and pulled her legs up beneath her so they were crossed on the sofa, all while her left hand kept the tightest grip on him so his knuckles were turning deathly white. He twisted his arm a little so he could slowly sit down on the sofa beside her.

His gaze dragged up and down her frame, soaking her in, assessing the worry in her eyes, the tension in her body. The way she held her back straight like she was too nervous to slouch into the sofa. His tongue dragged across his lips that were still tingling from the power she had when she kissed him.

"Baby…?" He didn't quite know what he was asking or what he wanted to say, but (Y/n) seemed to understand his wordless question.

She dragged his hand across so their entangled hands were laid on her thigh, allowing (Y/n) to trace her thumb over the back of his hand. And bring her right hand up to draw aimless patterns and random designs on the back of Eddie's wrist and along his arm towards his tattoo.

"The doctor's office called me this morning, they got my bloods through and they wanted to see me."

"That was quick…" Eddie wasn't sure he liked where this was going. It had scarcely been two days since (Y/n) went to the doctors for a check up.

He knew she had to have bloods taken every few months for her vitamin deficiency. And she had to have check ups every six months to make sure she was okay on the contraceptive pill. The last time she was on the pill it messed with her system and made her sick.

If the doctors called back this quick and wanted an appointment on the same day, Eddie knew that was a sign that something was wrong.

"They gave me an emergency appointment this morning… Eddie I- I'm pregnant."

All (Y/n) could feel was the way her heart was pounding against her chest so harshly every beat felt like a hammer to her chest. Every pulse tore through her eardrums and made pins and needles course down to her feet. Her fingertips turned numb and both hands started to sweat, despite her fingers turning cold from panic and dread.

This news wasn't going to go down well, (Y/n) knew that from the start.

This wasn't like with Chris. This wasn't (Y/n) sitting Eddie down and giving him a gift of a baby onesie and a positive pregnancy test or telling him that she needed him to be careful in the army because he had two people to come home to now.

And it wasn't her waking him up on father's day and telling him he was going to have another baby.

They had agreed, no more kids.

(Y/n) was on the pill for that very reason and they were always careful. If Lilah's pregnancy was anything to go by, they couldn't have a repeat of that. As much as they loved their kids and would love to expand their family, it wasn't a risk they could say was worth taking.

Her labour with Chris had gone south. Her whole pregnancy with Lilah had been nine months from Hell and that birth almost killed her. It wasn't something Eddie wanted to witness again, he couldn't risk losing a baby or losing (Y/n) and bringing up their kids on his own. He wouldn't survive losing her.

Tears began to trickle down the bridge of (Y/n)'s nose and across her cheeks when Eddie didn't say anything.

He let her deadlock his hand in both her palms and he stayed limp and let her lift his arm to pin his hand to her chest to try and keep herself calm. But (Y/n) watched the way Eddie dragged his free hand across his jaw and down his chin.

The rage was visible in his eyes, but it wasn't directed at her. Eddie wasn't sure who or what he wanted to direct his anger at. Probably himself. He had let this happen. He told himself- he vowed he wouldn't go through another pregnancy, he wouldn't risk (Y/n)'s life like that again.

Now he'd put her in danger. Now she was pregnant he was going to see her deteriorate and worry about coming home to find her bleeding out or passed out on the floor. Or worry about going into labour and coming out without his wife or child at the end of it. What had he done?

"Eddie…" (Y/n) tilted her head down and pressed her lips against his knuckles when he didn't say anything. He just stared down at her legs like he would suddenly find the answers and the words he was looking for if he didn't look her in the eye.

"You're sure?"

"Yeah. Close to fifteen weeks, they think. I- I didn't want the ultrasound without you, so I'm at the hospital next week."

(Y/n) let them do another blood test and an exam and she got checked over by the doctor, but she wouldn't agree to a scan. She wasn't waiting around in the office for an hour, drinking two pints of water and watching the scan when she was alone. She felt sick, she thought she was going to faint and all she wanted was Eddie.

The doctor booked her the soonest appointment at the hospital, gave her a prescription for two different anti-sickness meds so they wouldn't have a repeat of last time with Lilah. And she was taken off the pill immediately. Now (Y/n) didn't know what to do.

"Eddie say something. Baby please-"

"What are we gonna do?"

(Y/n) wasn't so sure Eddie was speaking to her as much as he was trying to give himself a pep talk which clearly wasn't working.

When he tore his hand out of her grip, her chest tightened and she couldn't stop the tears from flooding down her face. She moved her hands to deadlock her arms around her waist while she watched Eddie slump forward. His elbows dug uncomfortably into his knees, his hands clasped together so tightly the knuckles were almost breathing through the skin. And he meshed his lips against his hands to stop himself from screaming.

"I don't know."

"I tried I- fuck! I tried to protect you and I- I've, I've- I can't lose you." What else was he meant to do? Abstain from (Y/n) for the next ten years until there was no risk of an unplanned pregnancy happening? Eddie knew in his heart he wouldn't be able to do that but he'd give it a damn good try if he had to.

He just wanted to have his family and keep them all safe and well. Pregnancy didn't agree with (Y/n) or in the very least, giving birth didn't agree with her. Everything with Chris had been fine up until the birth, and everything with Lilah was a train wreck.

Eddie wasn't doing that again. He wasn't taking her to hospital demanding someone do something to look after her. He wasn't waking up in the middle of the night worried she wasn't okay. He wasn't seeing her cry in agony or go mad on bed rest that didn't even help her.

He wasn't going to sit back and watch her go through hours of agony and come close to losing her life at the end of it. A baby wasn't worth that. His wife was worth everything to Eddie; he'd give his life for hers.

He wasn't being a single father to their kids because he'd gone and put her at risk by getting her pregnant.

"What am I supposed to do? Eddie I don't… I don't wanna- I can't," When (Y/n) moved her palm to press against her abdomen, she whimpered. She didn't want to get rid of it. She may not look or even feel pregnant yet, but just knowing she was having a baby made her feel different.

The only way (Y/n) would agree to an abortion was if this pregnancy was going to risk her life. She wouldn't take the risk, not after everything with Lilah, and it would break every part of her soul to do it. But right now, she hadn't been told that news.

The doctor was worried, given (Y/n)'s history, which was why she needed a scan and a lot of check ups and she needed to sit down and talk with the doctor and Eddie about this.

But what if it went as smoothly as it did with Chris? What if Eddie finally got that chance to be with (Y/n) when she was pregnant and just see her body change and grow and see the baby develop healthily? What if they got through the next few months with no sickness and no complications and (Y/n) felt fine and active and healthy and happy?

That was a possibility.

"You think I want that?" Eddie's broken tone made (Y/n) cry harder.

She hated the look in his eyes when he snapped his head to the right to look at her. Did she honestly believe Eddie wanted an abortion? Did she think he thought that was the best course of action and that he had no quarrels doing that?

He wasn't brought up that way. Eddie was a catholic, the only kind of termination his family were accepting of was the kind where the mother's life was in danger. But it wasn't just the religious side that got to him. He was brought up on the knowledge that family was everything. Eddie loved his family, he loved the family he created with (Y/n). He absolutely adored their kids and would do anything for them.

He didn't want to lose one, and Eddie could feel the guilt creeping up his throat thinking that getting rid of his own child was better than the risk of keeping them.

"You spent nearly eight months between the hospital and the bed last time, do you wanna do that again? Baby I'm not gonna sit there and watch them dose you on adrenaline because you almost died!"

"Then what do we do? Just say no a-and terminate?" (Y/n) leaned back into the cushions and dragged her hands through her hair. "We tried, but clearly you've got strong swimmers because I'm already pregnant. I can't- I can't just take it back or rewind time. I don't want to put you through that again and I don't wanna be laid up in bed or call you thinking I'm losing our baby."

Tears streamed freely down her face and she held Eddie's hardened gaze when his eyes locked with hers and his jaw clenched so tightly it looked like his teeth would start to disintegrate.

"But it might not be like that… I was so sick with Lilah from the start, if, if I'm fifteen weeks already, I feel fine. And maybe I can have a choice this time, about a C-section."

(Y/n) found out she was pregnant with Lilah from the two-month mark and she had been sick since the beginning. But if she was already over three months, she didn't feel it. (Y/n) didn't feel queasy or run down or like she was going to collapse or throw everything up. She had been a little nauseous at times, but nothing as drastic as last time.

Surely that was a good sign that this pregnancy might go better, like with Chris? Surely they had a chance of a smooth ride this time?

And with (Y/n)'s history, she might have the choice of a C-section. The doctors might agree that her bad birth with Chris and her life-threatening situation with Lilah called for precautions. A C-section would save panic, hassle and take away most of the risks (Y/n) faced.

(Y/n) pressed her hands down into the sofa and looked across at Eddie. He hadn't moved. If it weren't for the harsh sounds of his breathing fanning into his hands, (Y/n) would have thought he had frozen in time. He was as still as a mountain, except for the throbbing vein in his neck.

With her breath held deep in her lungs, (Y/n) pushed herself up and inched to the left until her knee brushed his. When he didn't move, react or pull away, (Y/n) tenderly curled both her arms around Eddie's bicep and leaned over until his arm was pinned against her chest. She pressed her lips down into his shoulder and closed her eyes, breathing in his scent as she waited for him to say something.

"We take it slow, one day at a time."

Her eyes opened and she tilted her head so her chin was pressing down into his shoulder, allowing her to look up at him. He turned his head in her direction but the emotions pooling in his eyes made (Y/n)'s heartbeat quicken.

"What?"

"If you're okay now, you might not be so ill… but if you get sick or half as bad as last time, we have to do something." Eddie knew they had very little choices right now. And he could understand (Y/n)'s point of view, she didn't want to get rid of this baby if they had a chance of having a good pregnancy, especially if she was a little bit further along already and she was okay.

But if something went wrong, if she got severely dehydrated or she got sick or had any complications, Eddie wasn't willing to take the risks. He would rather keep (Y/n) safe and think of her first. If she got ill and couldn't have the baby, Eddie could live with that. As long as she was okay.

"And we push for a C-section, you can't go through another labour like that again. You're my priority, you understand that? There is no question, you're health matters more. I need you- the kids need you-"

"I know, I know baby."

(Y/n) pressed her lips down against the junction between Eddie's neck and shoulder where she could feel his breaths begin to even out. She wasn't expecting him to be happy about this, not yet. Not until they knew how things would go and if they could do this. But she was happy he wasn't outright refusing to give this a try. That was all she could ask for.

And she was in full agreement. They could try, and if this pregnancy went south and they couldn't get through it, then that was okay. (Y/n) couldn't risk her health. She had seen how bad it could get when she had Lilah and by the time she got a placental abruption, there was nothing they could do. They couldn't terminate or speed up the pregnancy or do anything to reverse the damage or make (Y/n) better.

She had to think about Chris and Lilah, it wasn't worth risking her health when she had two children to think about who needed her.

"Will you come to the scan with me, at the hospital?" (Y/n) could barely hear her voice when she spoke against his neck. And she let go of his arm to loop her arms around his neck when he curved his arm around her waist.

He turned to the side so he was facing her and in one swift movement, he pulled (Y/n) so she was sat on his lap rather than beside him. He locked his arms around her waist, keeping her pinned against him.

"You know I will, you're not doing any of this alone, mi amor."

Eddie closed his eyes and tipped his head forward until their temples were touching. He nudged his nose against hers and tried to take deep, calming breaths. He wanted to be happy. He wanted to smile and laugh and cry and bask in the thought of having another baby like he did the last two times. And if this went well, he would have another baby in his arms.

But he couldn't get ahead of himself. He couldn't let his thoughts get carried away and get attached in case something went wrong or they had to make a decision.

His chest tightened and his shoulders tensed when he suddenly felt (Y/n)'s hand reach around to take hold of his left wrist that was resting on her back. He stayed still and waited to see what she was doing, but every part of his body started to shake beneath her when she carefully laid his palm down over her stomach.

His hand started to tremble and he dared to swipe his thumb up and down for a few seconds before he stopped himself.

Tears were already drenching his face.

He wanted to pull his hand away. He wanted to shake his head and say no. He couldn't think like that, he couldn't get ahead of himself. He couldn't imagine anything and get his hopes up. But it felt like it was already too late. (Y/n) was already pregnant, things were already complicated and now there was an image in his head of a new addition to their family. He could almost feel the way (Y/n)'s stomach was going to curve and change; something he absolutely loved but never thought he'd see again.

(Y/n) tightened her arms around his neck when Eddie suddenly leaned around her so he could smother his face in her chest. She could feel his tears soaking into her shirt and she kissed his hair when he pressed his hand down firmer on her stomach like he was waiting for confirmation or even a kick.

She was so lost in the feeling of Eddie's fingers tracing and scrunching up her shirt over her abdomen that (Y/n) almost missed the words he whispered into her chest. "It'll be okay, baby."

She wasn't quite sure who he was talking to.

***

"So, is everything okay?"

(Y/n) wanted to smile. She wanted to look up at Eddie and ask him where his patience of a saint had disappeared to. But she couldn't look away from the midwife, because it was the same question swirling around her head too.

Was everything okay with the baby? What were they going to do if the answer was no? How was Eddie going to react?

"Yes, baby looks to be a healthy size, placenta is in place, blood flow is good. And heartbeat is strong," As she spoke, the midwife tilted the screen in their direction and turned on the volume so they could listen.

Part of (Y/n) had been expecting a different answer. She was expecting to be told something was amiss or maybe she wasn't actually pregnant. Or something had gone wrong because she had been on the pill and didn't know about this sooner.

Seeing that familiar image on the screen and watching the tiny heart thud out a strong rhythm made (Y/n)'s own heart go haywire.

She could feel adrenaline pooling in her stomach and sparking through her veins when Eddie suddenly took her hand. He laced their fingers together and squeezed so tightly (Y/n) couldn't feel her fingertips anymore. But when she dared to drag her gaze away from the screen to look up at him, she was surprised.

He was smiling.

(Y/n) hadn't been expecting to see him smile. She was well prepared for his worried eyes, his jaw locked in place and his lips pressed into a thin line. She had been waiting for him to say something else, ask if something was bound to go wrong.

She was even expecting him to stay silent and not react at all. To see him stood there smiling, with tears bubbling up in his eyes, made (Y/n)'s throat tighten up with the urge to cry.

She moved their entwined hands to hold his hand against her chest, and she could see stars dancing across her vision when Eddie leaned over her. He dragged his free hand through her hair, tangling his fingers into her locks while he tenderly pressed his lips against her temple.

"You alright?"

Eddie dragged his hand across his face and looked across the kitchen at Evan. He managed a smile as Evan reached into the fridge and handed him a beer before he leaned forward on the counter.

"Are you sure, you seem a little, distant." Evan didn't want to pry, but he could see there was something playing on Eddie's mind. The distant look in his eyes wasn't something Evan was used to and Eddie had barely said a word since he walked through the door. And it had been Eddie's idea to come over and hang out while (Y/n) had taken the kids out to the park.

"Just thinking… about this." He took a large swig of his drink while he rummaged around in his back pocket for the small square photo he'd been carrying around for the last three days. It felt like gold dust between Eddie's fingers as he slid the small black and white photo across the counter towards Evan.

His eyes focused intently on his friend, gaging his reaction because he was the first person Eddie had shown this to. He was the first person Eddie wanted to talk to because Evan knew how he would feel and react to this.

"I- oh, this… this is, (Y/n)'s pregnant?"

He watched the way Evan's face changed from a reminiscent smile to a gaping expression with wide eyes and a set jaw. This wasn't an old photo Eddie had dug out the memory box. This wasn't a scan photo from Chris or Lilah's pregnancy. This was recent; this was new. (Y/n) was pregnant; again.

"I thought you said you weren't gonna have any more?" It didn't settle right with Evan that Eddie would suddenly change his mind and be all for this.

Not after how he had reacted when Lilah was born. Everyone on the team could see how Eddie was conflicted; how something so innocent and sweet and heart-wrenching as Lilah could make Eddie feel so strange. Because he was so concerned with looking after (Y/n) and wanting her to be okay, and the only reason she had been suffering in the first place was this little girl who Eddie swore to protect with his life.

It didn't seem realistic that Eddie would do a complete turn around and be willing to have another baby.

Evan remembered them talking a while back, Eddie was adamant he wasn't having any more kids. In his mind, it was as if Eddie himself was placing that risk onto (Y/n)'s shoulders if she got pregnant and he didn't want to do that. He wanted to keep her safe at all costs.

"This wasn't exactly planned, Buck. She's sixteen weeks gone already." A groan tumbled past Eddie's lips and he pushed up off the counter and moved to drag his fingers through his hair.

It felt like there were two different battles raging inside his head and his heart. His heart wanted to go through with this, but his head wasn't so swayed on the idea. His head told him there was still a lot of risks here, they weren't safe or lucky just because so far, nothing had gone wrong. And Eddie didn't want those risks. He wanted none of it.

"What are you gonna do? Eddie… I saw you when (Y/n) was in the hospital, and I've never seen you like that."

"Because I saw my wife almost die because of me."

"Why was that because of you?"

Evan couldn't see that as a fair judgement. Eddie hadn't done anything to put (Y/n) at risk of make her ill. He wasn't the reason her heart almost gave out, he wasn't the reason she got sick in the first place or why she had a placental abruption. He didn't do anything wrong, but he was holding the guilt like it was the only truth he knew.

"I got her pregnant."

"Eddie… that's not how the world works. That bloodloss and those problems (Y/n) had, they weren't a direct cause from you, you can't make that connection and blame yourself. If I drove you somewhere, and someone crashed into us, that wouldn't be my fault… you're consuming guilt you think you deserve, but you don't."

Nothing that happened or went wrong with (Y/n) was directly Eddie's fault. If he could foresee what would go wrong and still went ahead with the pregnancy then maybe he would be at fault. But he couldn't be blamed for everything that happened after (Y/n) got pregnant.

"I just- I don't wanna do that again Buck. I don't wanna sit there and think, is this how it ends? What am I gonna do with Chris and Lilah without her? I can't raise two- or God forbid three kids on my own."

"But you don't know if anything will go wrong. You're acting like it's all agreed but it's not… is this what you want, take away all the risks, what do you think?"

Eddie couldn't go through life weighing the risks to every decision he made and everything that happened. He was never going to live his life if he was going to panic about everything that he did, especially involving his family.

And there was nothing to say that (Y/n) was indefinitely going to be sick or have a complication or come close to losing her life again this time. Eddie was just presuming the future and how he thought it was going to play out. But if he took away all of those preconceptions and thought about this differently, what did he truly think?

If there was no risk, no panic, no uncertainty. Eddie didn't have to think about that. He could hear his heart clearly when all the worries were locked away and put on mute.

If he had no risks to think about, no worries about (Y/n)'s health or her life and he knew she would be okay, then Eddie had no issues knowing what he wanted. This is what he wanted. If things went differently with Lilah's birth Eddie wouldn't be stood here panicking, he would be stood here the happiest man in the world. Telling his friend he was going to have another kid.

"I think I want this baby."

#eddie diaz x reader #911 imagine #imagine #evan buckley #pregnant! reader #eddie diaz imagine #eddie x reader #eddie diaz #bedroom talk

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