#god now that i have FFXV i really should get back to work on the time travel thing

[what-wait-why]

noctis would 100% like In This Moment

[turbles]

(I posted this on twitter back in early March but since that platform is going down the tubes rn I'm reposting here as well for archival purposes)

Some background here. 6 years ago I took up reading fanfic as a hobby. Very quickly I realized I'd need a way to mark which fics I'd already read or tried to read and dropped, so I wouldn't keep running across the same ones over and over and forgetting I'd already read them. So I started bookmarking EVERYTHING regardless of my actual opinion on it (I'll come back to this)

Anyway eventually I realized that, via the filtering options AO3 provides for your bookmarks, I had a pretty good way to collect pointless data about my reading habits and make some really pointless graphs. So when I reached exactly 2000 bookmarks I decided to do that. as a reward to myself.

data for the original 2000 was collected from whenever I started doing this, through March 6th 2023

Caveat: obviously the possibility of human error in this data is significant. I was never consistent on whether I should bookmark all individual fics in a series or just the series itself if I read the whole thing, for instance, and I've surely forgotten to bookmark plenty of things I did read over the years. this is just for fun though so I'm not sweating it.

thank god for how detailed ao3's tag system is tbh

Anyway here's a pie of all fandoms (with over 50 bookmarks):

For some temporal context of the above, I fucking counted every bookmark from the top 9 categories there and arrayed them by month-bookmarked so I could make this chart of growth rates:

Genshin impact will of course continue to grow because the game continually releases new stuff and characters. Numbers spiked in October coinciding with sumeru's release. we'll see if another spike happens once fontaine releases in a few weeks from now. interestingly to me, I started been playing genshin like 6 months before I started participating in the fandom because it took me that long to get accustomed to the uh.. genshin-ness of the characters and the story, enough to start making inroads towards actually caring about the characters.

looks like FE3H grew the fastest, but it will eventually plateau like yoi, dragon age, and ffxv before it. Still kinda going strong though,since there's just lots of people writing for this fandom, and helped by the fact that it has a really large cast.

This next chart will take a little background info. So to indicate to myself something about the quality of the fic, when bookmarking I would choose to "Rec" it or not. As I said previously, I am literally bookmarking everything I read whether I loved it or hated it or it caused me pain or whatever. My criteria for whether I Rec a fic or not has never been set in stone, but THE IDEA is that recced fics were ones I overall quite liked, felt were well written and would be willing to go back & reread or had something else that made them stand out from the crowd. A recced fic isn't necessarily one I would literally recommend to people to read, and non-recced could mean anything from it was good but had one part that bothered me, to I had just read a bunch of that author's other works and this one was weaker than their others, to it was horrendous and ruined my whole day, to it was just kinda boring.

HOWEVER I did add my own more curated tag, Greatest Hits, for the ones that I really loved, that stuck with me after reading it, that I regularly desire to go back and revisit. While I rarely ever adjust my recs, I have often added (even sometimes removed) the Greatest Hits tag from fics years after first reading them.

Anyway that means this chart could be said to express in a really general way my opinion on the general quality of the writing in a given fandom:

I found it interesting that AA has such a high proportion of recs. I think its overall lower number of total bookmarks works in its favor here, as I tend to dip toes into a new fandom by first looking at top-kudosed fics and then when I find authors I like, trawling their bookmarks for more and branching out that way. So I tend to find pretty good fics earlier in the process. the longer I'm looking through a more stagnated fandom, the less good fics I find, is I guess the logic here. So in the case of AA, I suppose I didn't get much deeper than skimming the cream of the crop before I moved on?

Comparing genshin and fe3h vs. dragon age and ffxv, which all have more similar total bookmarks, was interesting too, to explain why genshin/fe3h's ratio of recs is higher. Both genshin and fe3h have really large casts, and therefore lots of different characters and pairings to read about, so it's almost like each pairing is kind of its own pool of fics that I'm skimming the best ones out of. with DA and FFXV there's really only a couple ships I'm interested in, and their ratios are similar accordingly

because we all know. that the main draw for fanfic tends to be shipping. so here's the top 10 most bookmarked ships pie:

and because genshin and fe3h are sizable enough to warrant a further breakdown of ships for that fandom alone, here's some pies for that:

it makes me laugh that dimiclaude is statistically significant when really I was just trying it out and ultimately decided I really don't even care for that ship

And a growth rate chart for genshin impact ships specifically:

so funny story, as I was playing through the liyue story chapter I was NOT a fan of childe at all, in fact I passed up two of his reruns before reading on the wiki (almost immediately after his 2nd rerun ended) a key piece of his backstory that all of a sudden caused his whole characterization to fall perfectly into place in my mind and he shot up the list to being my top fav character in the game literally over the course of like ten minutes. and yeah that was november 2021 and as you can see that's when I started really reading genshin fics LOL

forecasts have haikaveh and cynonari continuing to trend up for a little while, though the next region and thus a whole new cast releases soon and could stymie those trends. zhongchi is a staple genshin ship and imo a bit more flexible content- and dynamic-wise than many of the other pairings here, so I predict it maintains a regular gentle incline even in the face of shinier newer pairings.

The less stacked roster fandoms don't have as interesting breakdowns, but here they are just for curiosity:

and yeah that's all I made at the time! I only thought of it after but I'll be recording data on Ratings from now on as well. I'd also considered looking at things like average word count on recs or greatest hits fics, but absent of even more highly specific filtering tools that would probably fall under diminishing returns. maybe someday.

This was dumb but very engrossing and fun to make and I learned how to use google sheets out of it so we'll see if that ever comes in useful in my life

[nothing-but-dreamy]

ROYAL SIN

Pairing: FFXV!NYX ULRIC x GENDER NEUTRAL!READER

Words: 2.172

Warnings: fluff

Synopsis: On a party, you try to get the attention of a certain Glaive because he is everything you are interested in.

For two hours, you were watching the Glaive that did guard duty during the lame royal ball you had to attend. It was Prince Noctis' birthday and even if he was more absent than present, everyone else had to stay there, having fun. Orders from the King. You wanted to have fun. Just a little bit different than everyone else around you.

So, for a while you tried to find a way to get the Glaive's attention but he seemed to be extremely persistent against your charme. A skill every Glaive had. You knew that. Usually, you treated all guards with the respect they deserved. They were there to protect you and the other members of the royal family. Usually, they worked unnoticed by everyone.

Usually...

But usually, Glaives weren't this extremely handsome. You had met a lot of guards in your life as a royal heir to the throne and yet, this one Glaive was different. He stood out from all the others.

Nyx Ulric was his name. A refugee, coming from Galahd. He wore the Kingsglaive uniform and yet, the typical details of his origin, like the braids in his hair and the small tattoos, were subtly displayed but also proudly represented. He stood there with his hands folded behind his back, tall and honorable, after fighting countless battles against the Imperials.

You knew he got called 'hero', fighting fearlessly against the meanest monsters while looking out for his comrades at the same time. You were sure that this title meant nothing to him. It was just a word, accompanying him like a shadow but disappeared when the light of reality broke through.

You let your eyes roam over his appearance. The shiny metal applications were sparkling in the soft ambient illumination. The warm light of candles got reflected from the polished surface. But all that was nothing compared to the emitted light that came from the man's intense, piercing blue eyes.

You watched him constantly, trying to get his attention just for a split second. You were craving the feeling of his eyes burning on your body. Just for one moment. But like a statue made of stone, he seemed to be unaware of you.

While he seemed to be motionless, composed and under control, you were the complete difference. Since your eyes had landed on him, your mind was busy with wild fantasies how his perfect, full lips would taste. How it would feel when his stubble would brush along your skin when he would kiss you hungrily. And how his greyish hair would feel when you would knot your fingers into it to yank him closer to you.

While you stood at the bar counter, holding a drink in your hand, your attention was fixated on the Glaive with all these thoughts about this man who ignored you completely.

You found an idea to go to him, it was a lame one, but you gulped the rest of your drink before you hurried over to the position of the gruff man, "Glaive!", you called out, loud enough to get his attention and only his, "Please, you have to come with me! There's an emergency!", you said frantically.

Nyx looked concerned at you. The whole evening, he had noticed how you were staring at him. At him, who was just a Glaive. A guard like all the others spread in the room. He was nothing special. Even his Captain reminded him of this fact regularly. He was aware that he was just a refugee, a homeless man, who came to Insomnia to fight against Niflheim because he was in the King's debt. And yet, Nyx got your attention. To see you now in front of him surprised him more than anything else. You addressed him with a problem and his sense of duty demanded from him to help. His sense of duty and the wish to get closer to someone unreachable. He stepped forward, "Your Highness, please, calm down. What happened?", he said serious but softly.

"I have to show you. Please, follow me!", you asked with pleading eyes before you aimed for the exit of the ball room while waving for him to follow you.

Nyx followed you. With your frame in sight, he hurried after you down the hallway to whatever emergency there might be lurking. Different options were popping up in his mind as he considered what problem there could be he had to take care of instead of one of the Kingsguard. The question why you have picked him was the loudest.

You flew down the different hallways of the Citadel, turning left and right ways until you hurried into a room, dragging Nyx after you before you closed the door.

Nyx stood there, watching you locking the door without making any sound before you turned around to close up on the Glaive.

You stopped right under his eyes, looking into these two crystal clear blue orbs, letting your eyes roam over the handsome features with all these small scars of this tall, proud soldier. Softly, you cupped his face, your thumbs were caressing his stubble, softly tracing along the line of his lips before you pulled him down to you. You met his lips longingly, kissing Nyx Ulric strongly for several moments before you loosened the connection again. You leant back just to watch him still enjoying what you have done to him with his eyes still closed.

Nyx considered his next step but he knew what he wanted. He opened his eyes, stepped forward, cupped your face and kissed you strongly with such force that you had to grab into his jacket to keep your balance. He leant back again, staring into your eyes, "We have to stop this, YN. We shouldn’t meet like this all the time.", he breathed before leaning against your forehead, hating himself for saying these things because all he wanted was to be close to you like in all the weeks before.

"You don't really wanna stop that... This ... between us, do you?", you asked with a smile. You already saw the answer in his face but still, you wanted to convince him a bit more, "You don't wanna lose this, right?", you breathed before you kissed along his jawline, letting your lips dance over his beard, kissing down his neck to reach a spot underneath his ear which always made him weak. At that moment, it was the same. You felt it underneath your hands as his heartbeat quickened subtle.

Nyx needed much of his willpower to stay focused, "N-no... I mean, yes! We have to stop... But n-no ... God damnit!", he breathed annoyed that he got defeated by you once again. He grabbed your shoulders to push you against the next wall caging you with his arms before he crashed his lips on yours again.

You snaked your arms around his neck to bring Nyx closer. Nyx Ulric: the Glaive, your lover, your boyfriend. For eight months. He was the one who made your heart skip a bit just with one glance at you. The one who made you swoon with his lips on yours. The one who made you crazy when he kissed you so deeply as if nothing else in the world would matter.

Since the evening had started, Nyx was craving to kiss you because you were undeniably beautiful in your royal attire. Every step you had made was watched by his observing glance even if you hadn't noticed it. Whenever someone talked to you more than just friendly, Nyx became jealous because you were his. And only his. No matter how complicated this situation was, he also couldn't allow someone else next to you.

"Nyx, you really wanna end this?", you asked softly, brushing your nose along his while you enjoyed the iron grip of his hands on your body as he let his hands roam over your back.

"No... You're mine.", he said determined, pulling you closer to him, digging his fingers possessively into the fabric of your attire before he leant his head into the crook of your neck to inhale your alluring scent.

You raked your fingers into his hair to calm him softly. He sounded so desperate because of the whole situation and you just wanted to soothe him again, "I also don't want to end things. But I want to be close to you. I miss you whenever you're not with me.", you breathed what caused Nyx to tighten the grip around you even more.

"God, I miss you, too.", Nyx whispered against your skin before he pressed soft kisses on your neck. He was a dutiful man, sticking to the rules that were set and yet, when he was with you, it went all over board because you were his sin. A royal sin he allowed to himself even if he knew hell would break loose if this would become public.

You knew you brought Nyx into trouble. It could be too easy for the two of you to get caught if you weren't cautious enough and still, you couldn't stay away from him. His kisses were addictive. His eyes were drawing and you just couldn't get enough of his delicious scent, "I love you, Nyx.", you whispered softly.

Nyx froze by your words, his grip became even stronger before he raised his head to look into your eyes to search for a lie, a joke, anything but there was nothing but love for him, "Y-you... You do- what?", he whispered with disbelief before cupping your face gently with his gloved hands.

"I love you, Nyx.", you said one more time with a lovely smile and more meaningfully.

Nyx couldn't respond instead, once again, he kissed you desperately to show you how he felt.

You knew what he wanted to say. He said 'I love you, too' with his lips and that was enough. You didn't have to hear the words from him because Nyx said them in his own way. And this way was far more sweet and amazing than any words he could use. Your pulse quickened by his moves with his savoring lips.

Nyx could be with you like this forever. He always lost track of time when he was with you but then, there was still this small voice in his head that reminded him that he was on guard duty. With much force, he removed himself from your lips, "We should go back. It will get noticed when I'm gone too long."

You sighed sadly, still tasting him on your lips, "You're right, I guess. Alright, we go back. But I will find a way to spend the night with you.", you said with a wink, aiming for the door.

Nyx grabbed your wrist, "We shouldn't go together.", he warned, a concerned expression on his face.

"But we left together. I'm your alibi if someone will say something. Trust me.", you said with a reassuring smile.

Nyx cupped softly your cheek, kissing you even softer one last time, "I trust you. Always."

You leant against his touch before you opened the door to slip out of the room as the hallway was empty. Side by side, you and the Glaive walked back to the throne room so Nyx could go back to his position. You were about to turn away from Nyx as someone appeared from the shadow.

"Glaive! Why have you left your position?", the booming voice of the Captain called out.

"Sir, I was-"

"Captain, I have to apologize. It was my fault that he had to leave his position. I sensed a threat for the prince and so, I ran to the first guard I could find. He just did his job, Sir.", you said calmly with a huge, charming smile.

Captain Drautos looked at you, raising his brows, looked at Nyx who stayed quiet before the Captain looked back at you, "Well, Your Highness, that's uncommon. But was he able to help you?"

You noticed the way he asked this question. It was as if he was looking right through your lie but you just smiled and nodded, "Yes, Sir. His help was very useful. And now, please excuse me, Captain. Glaive, thanks again."

Nyx nodded politely but serious, "It was my pleasure, Your Highness."

You nodded appreciatively before you left the two men alone to go back to the bar for another drink. You turned around just to see how Drautos spoke to Nyx in an intimidating way. You just hoped the Captain had bought your lie and Nyx was out of trouble.

You got your drink the moment the Captain left Nyx alone in his position. Once again, you watched the honorable Glaive who had kissed you so passionately that your world was more colorful like never before. He wasn't looking at you but he didn't have to. You knew you were always in his mind, occupying his thoughts, his sleep, his whole being because this one, special Glaive did the same with you.

[bgn846]

Together At Last a/b/o ffxv ot4 fic

Noct was so done with this bullshit, this had to stop. Knocking loudly on the door to Gladio and Ignis’ apartment Noct waited for an answer. They were home he knew this much, it was their date night. Pushing aside his slight wave of guilt at interrupting them he twisted his face into a scowl. This was serious, their stupid actions were making Prompto feel bad, he was sure of it.

Finally, he heard noise from inside and the small light from the peephole briefly faded. The door opened immediately afterward and Ignis was there looking an equal mix of worried and confused. “Highness, is everything alright? I thought you were staying at home this evening with Prompto?”

Seeing Ignis start to fret was doing things to his inner alpha, and they weren’t even together like that. Working to stay focused Noct tried to steer his teenage brain back on track. This was about his future beta, not Ignis. “No, everything is not alright!” he spit out while crossing his arms, Gladio did this all the time it looked intimidating enough.

“What’s happened, do we need to call Cor? Is Prompto alright? Where is he?” Ignis asked rapid-fire as he moved aside to allow him entry.

“Princess, what the hell are you doin’ here?” Gladio asked as he joined them in the hallway.

Forgetting his plan Noct barged in past Ignis and got right up in Gladio’s face. “I’m here because you two are making Prompto upset!”

“Whoa, hey, no need to be all crazy!” Gladio shouted back. “We didn’t do anything wrong, what’s this all about?”

“Is he alright?” Ignis tried once more, it was clear he was worried.

Ignoring the question, Noct continued to glare daggers at both of them. “He cried today because of whatever game you two are playing!” Unfurling his arms he pointed a finger directly in Gladio’s face and then to Ignis.

“We are not playing any games, I can assure you,” Ignis responded quickly. “Please, will you tell us what’s happened?”

“You two should know! Seriously this is stupid I can’t believe you’d pull this shit. You know I love him and this is what you do?” Noct couldn’t believe his friends would have treated Prompto so badly. His best friend had been acting strangely for nearly a month and today it was the worst. His beta had cried and when Noct questioned him about it Prompto refused to say. The only hint Noct had was when he mentioned possibly talking to Gladio and Ignis, Prompto had flipped out. They’d done something to him Noct was sure of it!

“We haven’t done anything to Prompto, I swear!” Gladio exclaimed. “You need to calm down and explain yourself.”

Hearing Gladio dismiss him so easily made Noct’s alpha tendencies flare, all rational thought was rapidly beginning to lose out to his anger. Before he realized what was happening Noct was yelling at Gladio and trying to hit him. His shield deflected his attempts which only made Noct madder. Vaguely aware of hands-on him Noct growled and tried to hit Gladio once more. His focus was solely on the other alpha in front of him. Then out of nowhere a sour scent filled the air and Noct snapped back to the moment with alarming clarity.

Ignis was standing between them holding his head with one hand. The other was blindly reaching out for something stable. Gladio had already moved to grab his arm. “Babe?! Fuck, did you get hit?” he asked with worry.

“No, its – you both – it’s too much,” Ignis managed before he listed to the side and Gladio caught him. “Your scents are too strong,” he added with a whine.

“Shit, sorry, how can I help?”

“Dunno,” Ignis hissed right before his legs buckled and Gladio carefully lowered him to the floor.  

“Are you in pain? What’s wrong? Talk to me please,” asked Gladio in a panic. It was obvious that he was very worried.

Without thinking, Noct kneeled down nearby and went to reach out to touch Ignis’ shoulder. Something in his brain was screaming at him to comfort Ignis. The urge to protect his friend was the strongest it had ever been. Unable to understand this new sensation he simply went along with what his inner alpha wanted.  That is until Gladio hugged Ignis close and growled at him.

Noct couldn’t stop himself from growling back and leaning into Gladio’s space. How dare he display such aggressive behavior, they were friends after all. Still unsure why he was feeling so off Noct continued to counter Gladio’s growls with his own.

“Not helping, not helping, not helping,” Ignis whimpered from where he was practically sandwiched between them.

Gladio stopped his alpha display the second Ignis fell quiet. “Sorry babe, I don’t know what to do to help, do we need to go to the doctor?” he asked leaning back to give them some space.

“Six no, you two need to bloody calm down.”

“I’m fine!” Noct replied in a huff.

“Hardly!” Ignis snapped right before he reached up and grabbed a fist full of Noct’s hair and pulled, hard.

The action caused Noct to lose his balance and he fell forward only catching himself just before the floor met his face. Surprisingly, this seemed to calm him down. The hand in his hair pulled slightly to get him to sit up.

“Listen carefully highness, where is Prompto?” Ignis asked with his hand still gripping Noct’s hair.

“My apartment,” he whispered, all the fight leaving his system.

“Does he know where you are?”

“No.” The hand in his hair tugged a little harder and Noct swore he heard Ignis growl under his breath. The sight was very surreal since he was still being cradled in Gladio’s arms like a baby.

“Have you been remembering to take your suppressants?”  

Noct nodded as best he could with Ignis iron grip holding his head in place. “The little blue bottle, yeah.”

Ignis let out a groan and finally released him. “Highness, the little blue bottle is your vitamin supplement. The orange bottle with the label that says monitrixan is your suppressant.”

“Since when?” Noct asked bewildered.

“Since I told you they changed it three months ago. I think you may be going into a rut.”

“No, no, no that can’t be right, I feel fine, I feel, I --.”

“Like a raging asshole?” Gladio finished.

“Oh gods, no I can’t be going into a rut, I won’t be able to hang out with Prompto. What if I try and take advantage?”

“I think we should discuss this with your boyfriend, in person!” Ignis huffed as he attempted to sit up. “He’s alone in your apartment and upset about something you’ve yet to tell us about.”

The severity of his actions came crashing down right at that moment and Noct couldn’t help but double over on the floor and cry out. He was such a jerk, oh gods, he’d left his best friend and future mate all by himself just because he wanted to yell for no good reason.

“Enough dawdling lets go there now, we can all talk together. I have a feeling I may know what’s going on.”

“You do?” Gladio and he asked in unison.

“Have you not considered how things have been changing between us all this year? How comfortable we all are together, the way Gladio tries to protect Prompto as much as me when we are out. It’s the same with you. Even just now you let me manhandle you. That’s not normal for a non-bonded pair.

“You’re my omega I’m gonna listen to you no matter what,” Noct blurted before he could think clearly. “Shit!” covering his mouth quickly Noct looked between Gladio and Ignis trying to see if they were upset or not.

Gladio barked out a laugh and relaxed slightly. “Damn kid, no wonder you were so protective of Iggy a minute ago.”

“How can I feel like this and not even realize it!” Noct wailed.

“Your emotions are a little out of it at the moment due to your unplanned rut coming. I suggest we go check on Prompto and talk more. Can you call him and see if he answers, he’s probably worried.”

“Yeah ah sure thing,” Noct tried to fish his phone out to call Prompto but he got instantly distracted when Gladio started to help Ignis stand up. Rushing over Noct grabbed Ignis to help.

“Highness, I don’t need help carrying Iggy,” Gladio chided as he fully stood with Ignis in his arms.

“I can walk,” Ignis added dryly.

“We’ll see about that,” said Gladio right before he put Ignis down on his own two feet. Noct again scrambled to keep Ignis upright as he swayed to the side.

“I won’t carry you but you cannot walk unaided,” Gladio admonished.

“Who’s driving?” Ignis asked ignoring Gladio’s comment.

“I had a car take me here, it’s still downstairs.”

“Even better, shall we?” Ignis offered as he tried to walk towards the door. Gladio was there to haul him upright when he stumbled.

“Do alpha scents really affect you that much?” Noct queried suddenly feeling very guilty for being the cause.

“I feel you both a little stronger than I would others since we are so close. Now, enough chit chat we need to go see Prompto.”

--

Prompto had long since abandoned his cocoon of blankets on the sofa, Noct had left nearly an hour ago and he’d still not returned. It was clear from his scent that he wasn’t mad at Prompto, but something was still off. Resigned to waiting for his friend to return Prompto tried not to worry. Things had taken an unexpected turn recently and he had no idea how to handle his feelings on the matter.

Then when Noct had asked him about it he’d flipped out and run to hide like a little kid. Noct had even offered to call Gladio and Ignis for help, oh, that had really freaked Prompto out. Those were the last two people he wanted to see. The feelings he’d been having were making him question his own relationship with Noct.

When he wouldn’t say what exactly was wrong Noct had thrown a tantrum and stormed off saying he’d fix things and that he’d be back. Unable to think of what Noct could have meant he paced the apartment and waited.

His ring tone broke the silence and Prompto snatched it off the coffee table to answer. “Hello? Noct?”

“Hey, um are you okay?”

“No, where are you? When are you coming back?” Before Noct could answer Prompto heard voices in the background. It was Ignis, shit, Noct had gone to get help despite what he’d said. “Are you bringing Ignis and Gladio over?”

“Yeah we are only a few minutes away, I’m so sorry for running out like that, we need to talk.” Again Prompto heard other voices, it seemed Ignis was saying they all needed to talk and that things would be alright. “I can go home and you guys can talk I don’t want to interrupt.”

“No!” Noct yelped, “Please don’t leave, dude we need to talk I’ve been a total asshole today and like I messed up my suppressants and shit, and I’m going into a rut, and I growled at Gladio earlier, and I tried to protect Ignis from him it’s nuts, I’m going insane. I really need you right now.”

“W-what? What do you mean you tried to protect him?”

“I think it's better if we talk in person, I’m feeling kinda flighty and Ignis helps.”

Prompto’s mind was reeling, Ignis helps? What the hell does that mean? Well, Prompto did actually know what that meant; he’d discovered this himself recently. Ignis being an omega had a really uncanny ability to calm him down with his scent. This combined with Gladio getting suddenly more clingy with him had begun to make Prompto feel things. Good things but things that he was still scared to explore.

“Prompto? Hey Prom, dude don’t bail on me now.”

“I’m here,” Prompto squeaked.

“Do I make you dizzy at all? I made Ignis get dizzy today cause I’m such a dick.” Ignis faint voice broke through telling Noct he was fine and to stop fretting.  “I mean Gladio did too but he and I – shit I dunno man—gah --  Prompto I’m a fucking mess right now. I hate going into a rut without warning.”

Suddenly worried about how Noct was going to handle his unwanted rut Prompto began overthinking everything. “I should go, for real if you’re going into a rut then that’s bad for me since I’m not bonded with you yet.”

“Prompto! Don’t leave! I’m serious we are pulling into the garage right now I’ll be up in a minute,” Noct babbled and then he hung up.

Standing frozen in the middle of the living room Prompto waited for Noct and the others to arrive. He’d missed his opportunity to run; now he had to face them all. However, when the sound of keys in the door signaled their arrival he was wholly unprepared for what came in. Noct burst in first looking crazed. The moment he spotted Prompto he ran over and hugged him fiercely.  Next Gladio came in with Ignis’ arm draped over his shoulder.

“I assure you I’m fine will you let me go!” The advisor requested trying to pull away.

“No, you’re gonna fall over like you almost did in the garage, and in the elevator, and in the damn hallway,” accused Gladio.

Ignis sighed loudly and steered Gladio closer, once he was within reach Prompto could only brace for the impact of Ignis grabbing his arm for support instead. “Are you alright? Noct refuses to tell us what has happened and I’m very worried.”

Looking at Ignis up close, the man seemed almost drunk. He was flushed in the face and holding him tightly. Forgetting his own issues for a second Prompto began questioning Ignis, he had a very strong desire to make sure Ignis was alright before they did anything else. “Are you hurt?”

“What? No, no, I’m – uh – I think, what did you say in the car dear?” Ignis asked over his shoulder as Gladio wandered away.

“You’re high on pheromones right now.”

“Yes! That!”

“But why? What happened?”

“Noct and Gladio began behaving like little miscreants and caused me to get dizzy.”

“Miscre—what? Please someone tell me what’s going on?!” Prompto cried.

“We were growling at each other and Specs got dizzy and then since we both felt really bad we tried to make him feel better with like a good scent, ya know? And now he’s sorta loopy because of it.”

“Loopy indeed!” Ignis huffed. “Prompto, we need to sit and talk, preferably on the couch so I don’t have to walk.”

--

Prompto stared idly at the little orange pill bottle on the coffee table, the label still fresh from where it had been ignored in the medicine cabinet for three months. Ignis had just finished explaining what he thought was happening and had gone quiet. If it weren’t for the fact that Noct was holding his right hand and Ignis his left, he may have tried to run away. Thank the six he was a beta, Prompto knew that if he was an omega he’d have had a heart attack long ago.  Already having anxiety about certain things would only get amplified being an omega.

Taking a big breath Prompto decided to voice his thoughts, it was what they were all waiting for after all. “Soooo, you’re telling me that little bottle right there triggered this whole thing, right?”

Ignis hummed in agreement but didn’t say anything more.

“Just to double-check, I’m not the only one who feels this way, like we’ve all been feeling it? I know you said Noct called you his omega and he’s already calling me his beta even though we aren’t bonded yet.” Prompto paused to gather courage for what he was about to say. “Um, so, like, you’re saying we could be a – a pack?”

Ignis nodded and squeezed his hand, Gladio smiled and nodded as well. That only left Noct, who wasn’t really in his right mind, but he had to get an answer from him too. Turning to his future alpha he smiled hoping Noct would admit his feelings.

“What? Why –why are you looking at me like that?” He sputtered. “I’m working really hard to not be a total jerk right now, what’d I do now?”

“You’re a lost cause buddy, I know you are acting oddly because of your rut coming but like do you want to be a pack?” Prompto asked hopefully.

“Yes! I mean yeah, sure, I think so,” correct Noct as he looked around at them and blushed.

“I still can’t believe we were all crushing on each other for the past few months and didn’t realize it!” lamented Prompto.

“Yes, well I didn’t exactly pick up on what was happening either; it seems we were all in the dark about our feelings. I do wish we’d noticed sooner though, I hate to think of you feeling upset just because you couldn’t categorize the new feelings you were experiencing.” Ignis sighed as he calmly rubbed his thumb across Prompto’s hand.

“And to think, we’d have still been in the dark if princess over there didn’t screw up his meds and turn into a total dickhead.”

“We’d have found out eventually,” Ignis added quickly. “We simply have a dramatic how we got together story now.”

“Dramatic? More like dimwitted,” joked Gladio.

“Hey! I didn’t mean to mess up stuff I just wanted Prompto to be happy and he was sad and I didn’t know it was because he liked you two and was afraid to tell me and like I didn’t know I felt the same way and I’m sorry!” Noct blabbered.

Prompto was starting to enjoy Noct’s loose-lipped nature but he knew other things came with a rut besides odd behavior patterns. “So ah, what are you going to do about your um, you know, needs?”

“Huh?” Noct asked with a blank look.

“What he always does, watch TV, whine at me for food, and go off to his bedroom to handle things, literally,” Ignis chimed in.

“Can’t Prompto come with me this time though?” Noct pleaded.

“Oh, no highness, you’re not bonded yet so that’s not happening.”  

“Yeah, I’m not exactly ready for that either yet, sorry buddy.” He and Noct hadn’t really gotten that intimate and Prompto definitely wanted to save it for when he wasn’t in a rut.

Noct started to whine but gave up and pouted instead.

“I can always help you out if you need,” Gladio teased from his spot in the armchair. “Iggy always says I’m the best, you can find out for yourself.”

“Gahhhhh no, not yet, not ready for that! I’ll be fine on my own.”

“Suit yourself.”

Prompto felt Ignis shift beside him and he turned to see the man watching him intently. “I suppose we will have a few new things to figure out now that we are to be together as a pack. Keeping Noct from going insane during a rut wasn’t what I hoped would be our first activity together but we must start somewhere.”

“I still can’t believe this is happening, we’re gonna be a pack!”

“I’m so happy we all feel the same way,” Ignis added.

“Well at least now we’ll all be mindful to not let Noct skip his suppressant medication,” Prompto replied.

“Yeah, he’s a right little asshole when he’s not in control of his alpha side,” Gladio cut in as he stood and came over to ruffle Prompto’s hair. “I’m gonna go make sure princess’ man cave is ready for later. I know what he’ll need. You two can handle him for now?”

Prompto nodded and looked over to Noct who’d remained silent and was leaning heavily into his shoulder. Maybe the day’s events had finally worn him out. “We’re all in this together now Noct, don’t worry we’ll all take care of you.” https://archiveofourown.org/works/32335489

[franniebanana]

Fic Writer Interview Game

Fic Writer Interview Game

Thanks for tagging me @aurorawest

tagging: @mama-sass and @la-belle-laide

name: Frannie

fandoms: I've been in a lot over the years. I'm currently focusing on Haikyu!! and MDZS/CQL right now, but I anticipate continuing to write for FFXV, Chihayafuru, My Hero Academia, Free!, Run with the Wind, and Big Windup!

two-shots: I had to look this up, because I honestly don't remember. I don't often write two-shots--it's usually either one shot or a multi-chapter fic. Spoken/Unspoken, a short FFXV fic that centers around promptis (of course); Catharsis, a Killing Stalking fic. I have another FFXV one, but since it's part of a trilogy, I won't really count it.

most popular multi-chapter fic: I guess I'll do this by hits (bc apparently ppl are allergic to using kudos...). Machine Gun, a My Hero Academia fic that centers around Bakugo and Uraraka, is my most popular. After that is Smudges, a MDZS/CQL modern AU, centering around WWX/LWJ, that I'm still working on, so I'm sure it will overtake Machine Gun.

actual worst part of writing: Now that I've been doing a lot of writing ahead, editing is probably the worst part. Sometimes I feel like I spend so much time reading and re-reading that I don't really enjoy the fic anymore, which I hate.

how you choose your titles: Depends. Sometimes I hear a song lyric or a line of poetry, other times it's something I heard on a podcast and liked the sound of or realized it applied to a fic I'm working on. I'm very bad at coming up with titles. If they don't just come to me, I agonize over them.

do you outline?: Rarely. Sometimes I have to for events, but mainly I just try to write out little bits of scenes that come later on, or I just keep track of things in my head. I usually have a pretty good idea about where the fic is going, so it's just a matter of filling in the gaps.

ideas you probably won’t get around to, but wouldn’t it be nice?: I'm working on a multi-chapter fic for Run with the Wind about Yuki and Shindo falling for each other as adults. I really love where it's going, but idk if I'll ever be able to finish it. The other thing is that hardly anyone will read it, so it'd just be for me, y'know?

spicy tangential opinion: Oof. There was this fic in a certain fandom that people were so obsessed with. Literally every space of the fandom was talking about this fic, which drove me up the wall. But when I read a few chapters, I was so confused about why everyone was so obsessed with it. The writing was meh and the characterization was god-awful. The only the I can gather is that people were somehow living out their fantasies with this fic, but the characters could have been anyone because they were so OOC. It annoys me that fics like that get so much attention when they aren't that good. And I'm not saying mine are better, but at least I try to make my characters as close to the real thing as possible. Anyway, the whole thing annoyed me so much that I basically left the fandom and mostly stopped writing for it. I'll go back someday, but the experience (along with a ship week that was so poorly managed) really turned me off of the fandom.

callouts @ me: You need to read more. You're never going to be a better writer if you never read. And, no, I don't mean re-reading MDZS or manhwa or manhua or manga. I mean real books. You use the same phrases over and over again, and your characters are all about clenching their fists and setting their jaws. You should write for other characters to try and broaden your horizons instead of just wangxian. I could go on, but now I'm starting to feel bad.

best writing traits: People tell me a lot that my characterization is spot on, and that goes for multiple fandoms. I am parroting my sis a bit, but I also think I'm good at dialogue. It's probably one of my strongest abilities in writing, and the thing that I most enjoy doing.

[mandakatt]

FFXV Fic - Anamnesis - Cor Leonis & Prompto Argentum

A/N: I am excited to share this one with you guys! This, is the piece that I got to write for the @thelionsigil​ - a Cor Leonis Zine. (My first Zine! *vibrates again*)

The team of mods was absolutely awesome to work with, and there’s so much amazing talent in one spot that I fangirled pretty hard. Not gonna lie. =p

So, now that the Zine has shipped, I can finally post this here. And when I got to write some Papa Cor I was excited to say the least!

Characters: Cor Leonis & Prompto Argentum Warnings: None Word Count: 1518 Summary: Cor sits with Prompto in Lestallum during a moment of respite from their hunts, and he comes to reflect over things in his past.

Things that maybe he could have done differently, especially where Prompto is concerned...

It wasn’t often that memories came flooding back to him like this, but he supposed it was the present company he was keeping. Cor sighed quietly through his nose, knowing all too well that the reason the young man sitting next to him doubted himself so much was because of him.

Cor was positive it was his choices that had set the ball rolling with Prompto’s self doubt.

"This is my fault.."

Cor looked down at the small child that was swaddled underneath his thick coat. He could feel Clarus’ eyes on him as he moved his arms to press the small child more firmly against his chest at its soft whine. 

“Your fault or not, I am assuming you know what must be done?” Clarus asked softly. 

Cor had said, repeatedly, that he was not good with children, and yet the child only seemed to stop crying when he’d swaddled him up and tucked him in close to his chest. He was confused at the amused smiles the others gave him when he’d try to pass the child to someone else, the boy would let off the loudest, wailing cry he’d ever heard.

“I will not allow the child to die,” He lifted his eyes to look at Clarus, “I will take responsibility.” 

“You?” Clarus seemed surprised by that answer, but the smile on his face said otherwise.

Looking down again as the child let off another soft whine, Cor gently reached into his coat to run his fingers slowly across the top of the baby's head. Slowly, the baby’s fussing gave way to a soft, burbling noise instead.

The child smelled like frost to him, almost like the promise of winter to come. Yet there was the distinct metallic tang of blood that went with it, and that made him wonder what was in store for the child in the future. 

Suddenly, the child let out a loud, whine-filled cry. 

“Ah, that’s a sound I am familiar with,” Regis’s voice gently pulled Cor from his thoughts as he lifted his eyes, “If you are to take responsibility, then you must make sure that they are well fed and cared for. Is that something that you think you can do?”

“If I feel that I am incapable, I will find someone who is.”

He wasn’t incapable. But with his duty to the crown it would be unfair for the child to be alone all the time.

“H-hey Cor? You alright?”

“I’m fine.”

“We’ll find the best family for the child. They will be well taken care of.”

Cor felt himself hesitate as Prompto nuzzled against him, giving off a soft sleepy noise. “He. Prompto. Call him by his name.” 

“F-fine,” The representative from child services fidgeted a bit on their feet, “H-His foster parents may change it, just so you are aware.”

With a nod Cor stepped closer. “Will I be able to visit him?”

“Yes. I do not see that as a problem.”

“Good.” 

Cor gently passed Prompto over to the representative, making sure they held him the way he’d been taught by Regis last week. He hesitated again when Prompto had started to cry. 

This was for the best. Yet he wondered why he was trying so hard to convince himself...

“You sure?”

Cor hummed softly, “Cross my heart and hope to die.”

“Wh...W-What?”  

Turning his head to look over at Prompto, he couldn’t help but smirk as Prompto’s eyes widened as his face lit up with a smile that outshined the lights around the city.

“Oh gods,” Prompto laughed a little as he started to fidget with a bracelet on his wrist. “I-I mean, that was—I remember asking you to pinky swear as a kid with that saying.”

Cor’s eyes drifted down to Prompto’s wrist only to feel his breath slightly hitch.

“Cor! You came!”

With a bit of a grunt Cor laughed quietly as Prompto flung himself at him and wrapped his small arms about his waist. He gently ruffled the young boy’s hair. “Sorry I’m late…”  When he glanced about the house, he frowned at how quiet and dark it was.

“They—uh—had to run and get s-some things! B-But they’ll be back!”

Cor placed his hand on Prompto’s shoulder and gave it a light squeeze, knowing that Prompto had been alone most of the day. Again. He lowered himself down to one knee to be eye-level with him, and gently held out a long thin box. 

“...Happy Birthday, Prompto.”

Prompto’s face lit up into the brightest smile Cor had ever seen as he quickly took the box and ripped off the wrapping. For a moment, Cor feared that Prompto wouldn’t like his gift. But then the boy's arms were flung about his neck.  

“Cor!! Th-Thank you! So much!”

Cor nodded, “I promise to never miss one of your birthdays.”

“You do?”

“Yes.”

“Pinky swear!” 

“ 'Pinky swear' ?”

“Yes!” Prompto stepped back and held up his little finger, “Wrap your pinky ‘round mine and say ‘cross my heart and hope to die.’ It means you can never break your promise!”

Snorting out a little laugh at the serious look Prompto was giving him, Cor gently wrapped his pinky around the boy’s and gave him a smile. “Alright then. I promise. Cross my heart and hope to die...”

“I’m surprised you still have that.” Cor glanced at the bracelet around Prompto’s wrist.

“Even if it fell apart, I’d keep it,” Prompto said softly as he ran his finger between the strap of leather that wrapped twice around his wrist, “I mean, it was the best birthday present I’d ever gotten as a kid. There’s no way I’d lose it.”

Cor looked away, out towards the darkness again; not that there was anything to really look at beyond the lights that kept the daemons at bay, but he felt he couldn’t look at Prompto after hearing that. 

If that thin bit of leather was the best thing he’d ever gotten—then he’d failed. 

He’d failed Prompto worse than he’d failed his kings.

“It’s—it’s been my lucky charm ever since you gave it to me.”

“Oh?” 

“Yeah! ‘Cause…well, shortly after you gave this to me, I found Tiny—I mean Pryna-and got to know Noctis and the rest of the guys. I-I don’t think it would’ve happened if you hadn’t given this to me.” 

Cor’s brows furrowed as he wondered if he’d raised Prompto, would Prompto be as bright and friendly? Or would he have become more stoic and methodical like he himself was. It was a strange thought, and for some reason it caused a snort of laughter to pass his lips.

“Even if that bracelet brought you luck, it was you that got yourself where you are,” He felt himself smile as he turned his head to look at the young man. “You know I’m proud of you, right?”

Prompto’s face shifted through several emotions before he quickly looked back at his bracelet and spun it slowly around his wrist. Sighing, Cor looked back out into the darkness.

“Whoa! I just got praised.. By the Immortal!”

“Don’t take that as leave to slack off. You’re only as good as your last battle.”

“Er...yes, Sir! I’ll keep at it, Sir!”

“I’m proud of you not only because of how far you’ve come, and what you’ve achieved, but because of who you are. He’ll come back, and when he does, he’s going to want you at his side.”

“I know,” came Prompto’s soft reply as Cor turned his head to look at him. “Thanks. Y’know? For just—for being here. For being there for me when I was younger. W-when you could...”

I wasn’t there enough for you. Much like I wasn’t there enough for them. I should have— 

“I mean—this is kinda—Ok so...thank you. For—For being a Dad.”

Cor found himself at a loss for words, before he managed a soft “...What?”

“Even though you were busy you made time for me. Like on my birthdays. You always—you never treated me like I wasn’t human. You’ve never treated me like I wasn’t worth something...and I’m positive that saved my life.”

Each word hit him harder than the last, and Cor found he couldn’t look away from Prompto. He didn’t deserve that praise. He—

“I mean it. It’s...why I’ve always kinda looked up to you. Wanted to be like you. ‘Cause you don’t give up. No matter what. No matter how hard it gets. And you kinda...gave me that courage, I-I guess.”

“I...see…”

“I-I mean, I don’t w-want to call you ‘D-Dad’ and stuff, I just mean—”

“I wouldn’t mind that.”

“Wh-What?”

“I...I wouldn’t mind if you did.”

“O-Oh…Oh.”

Cor felt himself smile again and looked out into the darkness once more, his chest starting to swell with an emotion he couldn’t really place his finger on. It wasn’t pride, it was something else. Something more. 

And it empowered him.

Now, I understand entirely why you did those things for Noctis, Regis. 

I swear… I will protect them all.

[lefthandsuzukimethod]

tag people you want to get to know better

tagged by @captain-apostrophe! <3

tagging (but only if you want to): @vexingcosmos, @spectralprongs,  @brehaaorgana ,  @grandsairs, @christinismithe, @serendipitysunnyflower and anyone else who wants to do it!! <33

your name and then what you would have named yourself: ana! i am good with my name tbh idk that i'd change it

astrological sign (sun/moon/rising if you know them): libra/leo/capricorn

when did you join tumblr and why?: i just checked and i have been a part of this hellsite since feb 2009 fladkfmaf i remember there was like a week that almost all of ontd_ffa joined @ once because one of us was like HEY THERES A COOL NEW SITE and i'm still here lmao

top 5 fandoms: like active fandoms or just Things I Like? obv rn like… mdzs/the untamed lmao, but also bnha and ffxv pero like in tiny circles??? idk fandom for me is better when u curate your experience, also yk when people are like hey what do u want for christmas and your brain decides it suddenly doesn't know anything? that's what my brain is doing right now lol, UHHHH lemme get back to you on the rest of them. OH i am also dipping my toes into the bts fandom with @spectralprongs's help!! <3 i'm also still very mad that in the flesh was canceled after 9 episodes

top 5 favorite films: pan's labyrinth, pacific rim, coco, jurassic park, the devil's backbone probably 

go to song when you wanna Feel something: when i want to feel WHAT THO? so many moods, so many songs if you get specific i might have a better answer lol

what’s your religion or faith if you have one?: i was raised catholic, so there's a flavor of catholic jokes that will always make me laugh

a song that makes you feel seen: la respuesta lmfaldfmllkm YO NO NECESITO UN HOMBRE QUE ME JODA

if you could have any career: i wanted to be a photographer traveling the world taking pics and getting paid for it, but idk i'm p ok where i am rn working in immigration law if only because i can help people

do you have a type?: sweet gremlin men with nice bone structure, women who could probably beat me up

what does your heart/soul yearn for: for unprecedented times to be OVER please a bitch is tired

if you had to describe yourself in 5 words to someone who doesn’t know you: I Cannot for some reason it's so hard for me to describe myself lol but if anyone else wants to answer this for me GO FOR IT

favorite subjects in school: photography! art! languages! english! french! music classes!

where does your soul feel most at home: anywhere i can relax with my favorite people <3  

top 5 fictional characters:                                        

top 3 moments in a show that made you ugly cry: OOF moments??? the first ep of futurama with seymour the dog, the season finales of itf, idk i try not to watch shows that are going to make me sad lmao i'm cheating and putting the beginning of up here too

the earth, the sun, the moon or the stars: the earth we are not nice enough to her she's doing her best!!!! the stars are a close second but i don't get to look @ them enough thanks light pollution

favorite kind of weather: SNOWSTORM you can spend all day playing in it and then be cozy inside after with blankets and soup

top 3 characters you relate to: I CHANGED THIS QUESTION BECAUSE I DIDN’T LIKE HOW IT WAS WORDED LMAO but every oldest sibling from the untamed who raised their younger siblings oldest siblings deserve financial compensation!!!, prob the weasley twins who are v smart but also v much not about their grades lol (that's 6 it counts)

favorite medium of art: all of them i refuse to pick one!!! well no i can tell u my least favorite art medium is art made from trash and/or period blood

introvert/extrovert/ambivert: extrovert allegedly

a favorite literary quote: bruh i haven't read an actual book in SO LONG i need to make more time to read

some of your favorite books: remind me about this one i am at work and have forgotten every single book i've ever read

if you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?: i think i'm ok here! i love traveling and visiting new places, but i live super close to a big city and i like having Four Seasons (total landscaping ladfkamdf i'm sorry it was right there)

if you could live in any time in history when would it be?: mmm like cap said, history hasn't been particularly good to female-presenting people, and i'm gonna add that it's also been sorta terrible to not white people. NOT THAT NOW GOING PARTICULARLY WELL LMAO BUT UHHHH. if i could go just like watch history, maybe a period when art/music was having a big boom

if you could play any instrument masterfully it would be: piano!!! i have one but i can only play by ear lmao (it was an inheritance) i should be able to read music after many years playing different instruments but nope none of it stuck

if you have one, what mythological god or goddess do you feel a connection to: i do not have one

and lastly, favorite recent selfie in your camera roll: all of my recent selfies have been mask selfies i sent kie or pics of office puppy on the selfie camera WHOOPS i don't really take selfies

[amarabliss]

Oaths and Hearts - 17 (Ignis Scientia/Reader)

So this is a crossover between FFXV and Dragon Age Inquisition.

You fell through a rift into the fade fighting the demons you swore to protect your world from. When you popped out you were no longer in the lands of Ferelden instead trapped in Insomnia. The gracious king allowed you to say recognizing power when he saw it. One thing led to another and now you were part of the procession of the prince to his wedding years later. Before the final battle, after years of fighting, losses, and love…your friend…your king…Noctis has asked you to change it all…

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11  Part 12  Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16

You felt distant from the world around you. Perhaps it was the ordered bedrest…or your trip to the Fade that was hazy and like a fog. No matter what you tried you couldn’t put all the pieces together.

You let out a long sigh staring across the city. Rebuilding was beginning and it was going to be a long road. Thankfully the citadel itself was mostly intact. Noct quickly motioned to have everyone set up a base there. Everyone eagerly agreed.

The first floor was converted into a hub and strategic center. Second floor a medical wing, and the third a place for recreation. Most of the kids who began returning with their families over the last few weeks roamed around there. Anything above the third floor was turned into temporary housing.

Lucky for you, your room had always been in the citadel, and that is where they put you. You stood up looking over the railing of the balcony at the dozers moving in to clear the roadways. Getting transportation running again was a priority one. It would allow assistance to be brought in and more importantly bring people home.

“I heard you’re supposed to be resting.” You turned seeing Tor walking over to you, “Forgive me, I knocked but you didn’t answer. I got worried.”

“Sorry, it’s hard to hear with all the banging down there.” Your hands rested on your belly, “He’s excited about it though, practically dancing in here…”

“I bet…all the more reason you should be sitting…and resting.” Tor waved his hand over to the chair.

“Did someone send you to check in on me?” You rolled your eyes as you walked back to the chair, he held still for you as you sat down.

“…not exactly…” He walked over to the balcony looking down at everything, “I’m kinda in a pickle and…well there’s only two people I can talk to. You just happen to be the only one available at the moment, Cor is busy with the rebuild.”

“I…don’t follow…” You felt your brow come together as he turned around looking at you.

“Noctis hasn’t had a lot of time to rewrite a contract…” He spoke quietly looking down for a moment, “As soon as his feet touched Insomnia soil everyone felt the gift of Kings leave them. Everyone but me…”

“…but that’s not possible…we were careful about the wording…” You shook your head, “We never wanted a division…”

“No, we didn’t, but I can’t help but feel…” He held out his hand flame igniting from his fingers began dancing around, “very protective of you and your child…and I didn’t take the second oath…”

“Then we amend the contract made with you.” You told him firmly, “Our allegiance is to Noctis…”

“Yes…it is…but my allegiance is also to Ulric and only he can release it because the tie is to him. His power is my power.” Tor frowned closing his fist extinguishing the flame, “We were desperate to get our home back…that’s why I volunteered…it’s why I became a Glaive in the first place…it doesn’t change that I will follow King Noctis’ orders, but I will have this pull in the back of my mind wondering if I’m truly giving a hundred percent to his orders. I will always wonder if I’m fully committed. I will always worry for Ulric.”

You looked away from him staying silent. You knew how felt…in a way…

“What is it?” You looked back at him seeing concern fall over his Galahdian features. There was something about them that put you at ease. The same way Nyx would.

“Nothing…I just understand what you’re feeling.” You put a hand to your face massaging your forehead.

“Divided.” He watched you nod as he took in a deep breath, “What do you do help it?”

“That’s kinda my pickle…” You let your hand drop looking at him, “You’ve heard where I and Ignis went a month ago?”

“Yeah…crazy shit.” He crossed his arms leaning against the railing, “You had like…an outta body experience or something?”

“That’s one way to explain…It’s more like, like waking up in a fractured world that preys on your dreams and desires, changing them into nightmares.” You shook your head, “I can remember a bit of it…arriving was cold…I saw faces I hadn’t seen in a long time, but I knew they weren’t real. Then the mastermind behind it all showed his face…his favorite thing is to choke people…”

Your hand went to your throat feeling the fading bruise. Dr. Reed had explained to both you and Ignis that during your sleep you suffered wounds. Some of which you both confirmed were things you experienced within the Fade. Some you both were still healing from.

You looked up to Tor’s face as you teared up, “And then he found Nyx in my mind and uh…I stopped fighting so much. Nyx always felt like home…”

Tor sighed grabbing the other chair placing it in front of you before he sat down leaning on his knees taking your hands in his, “We all miss him…all of them…”

You sniffed as tears went down his face, “Yeah…but this place made me question every feeling I had…everything I knew…everything I thought I knew…and I’ve done it before and I almost lost then…and now…”

Tor squeezed your hands again looking you in the eye, “I’m gonna tell something that I probably shouldn’t, but I don’t know if Nyx would have told you…but I hoped he would.”

Nyx sat at the bar spinning the beer between his hands, “If you look at that drink any harder, it might press stalking charges.”

Nyx smirked shaking his head a little, “Artorius…I didn’t think you were due back for a few weeks…what happen? You take care of the Empire all by yourself, with your bad comedy act so we don’t have to fight anymore?”

“Ha, if only.” Tor slapped him on that back, “Things got a little hot, our unit played it safe to get the intel back intact.”

“Good…I’ll drink to that.” Nyx raised his beer toward him before taking a drink.

Tor smiled and watched as Nyx put the beer back on the bar. He ordered a round before he spoke again, “So what’s her name?”

“What?” Nyx scrunched up his face and looked at him, “What are you talking about?”

“You look like someone killed you dog.” Tor winked at the bartender when she set the drinks down, “And everyone knows only a lady could make a man that miserable.”

Nyx rolled his eyes shaking his head, “Yeah, okay…whatever.”

“Man…wow, whoever she is, she did a number.” Tor took a drink staring at his friend for a long time, watching him shift uncomfortably under his gaze. Finally, he took a deep breath in, “Well, I-”

“She’s going out with another guy…” Nyx finally blurted out before sighing.

“…like she dumped you and …” He picked up his beer watching Nyx slowly deflate.

“We weren’t dating…” Nyx slumped until his face laid on the table looking at Tor, “We had an arrangement, that happened after a long night of booze and ranting…”

“And it became more for you than just good sex…” Tor shook his head setting his beer down with a thunk, “and you never told her…”

“I’m an idiot…” Nyx shut his eyes.

“Yeah…yeah you are.” Tor nodded a little smirking as Nyx’s eyes snapped open.

“Gee thanks asshole.” Nyx picked himself up wiping a hand over his face, “I really screwed up…”

“So, tell her.” Nyx gave him a side eye as he went on, “Tell her that you like her…maybe she’ll end it with the other guy, and you’ll live happily ever after.”

“She really likes him…and he’s good for her.” Nyx sighed thinking about it, “Really good for her…”

“And you’re not?” Tor punched him in the arm making Nyx wince and glare, “Don’t sell yourself short. What is it you always say…you’re the hero, right?”

“Not a very good one, when I can’t even take care of the woman I love.” Nyx sighed reaching for his beer.

“Whoa…the L word.” Tor’s eyes widened some, “Wow this is a bit more…complicated now.”

Nyx looked at him sadly, “…yeah…yeah, I love her. She sees me and not where I’m from or what I am…just me… She’s amazing, and smart, and god the way is able to pick up on what I’m thinking…we’re really in sync…”

“Wait…is this the chick you had to babysit for like a year?” Nyx nodded slowly as his eyes widened slowly, “The mystery girl…everyone has talked about her, but I’ve never seen her. No one really knows her story.”

“You don’t need to know.” Nyx got defensive looking at him seriously, “All you need to know is she save the king and she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Tor stared at him and nodded slowly, “Alright, then my suggestion still stands. Tell her, tell her everything. We only get one life Nyx, and the way you talk about her…it’s obvious to me that she means everything to you.”

Nyx stared at him for a long time before running a hand through his hair as he leaned back in his chair, “Maybe I will…”

“’atta boy.” Tor patted him on the shoulder ordering another round.

“Nyx, sacrificed a lot for his people…all the time, but he was also the first to stand up for King Regis. He knew how to read people. He knew he could trust you.” Tor told you with smile, “Maybe knowing that he loved you and just wanted you to be happy and cared for…maybe…you can find comfort in that.”

“He told you that?” You sniffed wiping at tear away as he nodded, “He never said anything…”

“Would it have mattered if he did?” Tor tilted his head watching you carefully.

You sat there a moment looking down to your hands before you looked up at him shaking your head, “No…it wouldn’t have changed anything…I loved him…I did, but it couldn’t have worked for us. We’re too much alike.”

“Then everything you’re feeling, is just that place messing with you. I gotta go…you know act normal…” He smirked as you chuckled. Standing up he looked down to you, “But if you ever need anything…you’ve got my number…and I will stand by my oath to protect you and your child.”

“Thank you Artorius.” You reached up taking his hand before he was able to walk away completely, “For everything that’s been unspoken.”

He took in a deep breath nodding slightly, “It’s not my business to tell the world how royal bloodlines are carried on. For that matter, you man wouldn’t be who he is today if he knew his parentage all along. For that, I think we’re all grateful.”

You smiled thinking of Ignis, “He really is something isn’t he?”

“Yes, he is.” He smiled at you, “You have a good day now, and rest…I mean it. I won’t hesitate to warp up here and babysit you.”

“Don’t worry, I tire easily now…and Ignis comes home every night.” You told him with a smile, “If you see him, I would really like something salty if possible.”

“From Glaive to messenger…” He chuckled as he left. He joked but the request was compelling. Not only did he find Ignis and inform him of the request, he also found chips, pickles, and crackers.

“He was very insistent that I bring these home for you.” Ignis watched you open the crackers, “I trust this is what you wanted.”

(Image Credit to @ipromptography​)

“It was, very much…I think Ulric is working out, cause my desire for salt is high.” You told him popping a cracker into your mouth before looking at him. He was smiling at you, eyes twinkling. You swallowed the cracker, “What?”

He took the crackers from you setting them down before he took your face in his hands, “You’re shining today.”

You flushed instantly, “Stop…I’m huge and bloated…”

“Heavenly and beautiful is more like it…” He caressed your cheek before he kissed you.

You stared into his eyes when parted from you. God…he was wonderful. You reached taking his face in your hands as you lips found his again. Every instinct inside of you ran straight into overdrive.

He pulled away placing his hands on your arms, “Perhaps we should slow down…I…wouldn’t want…”

His forehead rested against yours as you both took in deep heavy breaths. You stared into his eyes as you spoke, “I love you.”

His eyes brightened at the words, “And I you…forever…”

Ignis stepped away from you smiling as he did. He walked over to a duffle bag he’d dumped in a corner when everything settled down, “Ignis?”

“I didn’t want it to be likes.” He began searching through his pack, “I actually had a great plan, until circumstances tore us apart.”

“You are a planner.” You spoke softly as he finally pulled something out clutching it in his hand.

He walked back over to you slowly, “I love you. Deeply and with everything that I am…I never want to be parted from you.”

He took your hand in his gently placing a dark threaded bracelet with green and purple beads woven into it. You stared at it tracing a finger over each bead, “Ignis…”

“I love you and I want you to be my wife…if you’ll have me.” He took in a breath holding it as he took a small step back.

A tear fell down your cheek as you nodded looking at him, “Yes…a hundred thousand times yes.”

The breath escaped him as relief washed over him. He stepped back to you putting the bracelet on your wrist, “I know it’s not very pretty…but I…”

“It’s perfect.” You smiled up at him, “I will always wear it, until the day I die, and forever in the beyond.”

You hugged him tightly. He had no idea how much it meant to you. The brief moment you’d told Noctis you custom…he listened. For you a ring was a simple symbol of union…but a bracelet or necklace made by the one you loved was so much more. It represented the same thing, but also how much that person promised to work with you.

Most women wore bracelets and necklaces that looked like a toddler had made them. Men weren’t required to learn the craft of jewelry making like young girls, but their wives would wear it proudly knowing how long it must have taken to make. How much they needed to set their pride down to learn how to make it. In the end, husbands would get something very detailed and ornate.

Ignis was a detailed person. Perfectionist to a fault sometimes. His braids were tight and every bead was wrapped tightly and securely. Any woman back home would have been jealous, and woman here should be.

His smile brought you back to the present as he whispered against your lips, “You make me so happy.”

That night was blissful…and you finally felt like you were at peace. You watched Ignis sleeping next to you and it made you smile. He had a few new scars that he had yet explained to you. Running a hand through his hair he sighed letting out pleasant sound as he leaned into your touch.

You smile vanished as pain rippled through. An audible gasp escaped you as you sat up. It was enough to wake Ignis up, “What’s wrong? What’s happening?”

You clenched your teeth gripping the sheets in your hands as you tried sit up with his help, “Oooo…”

“I’ll get the doctor…” Ignis began to stand up but you reached out stopping him.

“No…” You shook your head taking in a deep breath letting it out slowly, “No…this is normal…”

“Normal!?” He stood there looking at you in disbelief.

You laughed a little before you smiled patting the bed, “Yes…very normal…it will probably happen a lot more over the next couple of months, until it’s more frequent and regular…we have nothing to worry about.”

He sat down and began rubbing your back, “Will you at least see Dr. Reed in the morning for my sanity if nothing else?”

“Of course, I will.” You leaned over resting your head on his shoulder.

“Your gender…” he spoked after a while, “is undoubtedly so much stronger than mine.”

You laughed nuzzling closer to him, “Let’s not go that far yet…”

[dumb-american]

The Rebuild of Final Fantasy VII: Your Expectations Will (Not) Be Met

I apologize for the stupid title and I promise I’m going to talk about the Final Fantasy VII Remake, but I have to get this out of the way first. Sometime in the mid 2000s, acclaimed artist and director Hideaki Anno announced that he was going to remake his beloved anime series Neon Genesis Evangelion the way it should have been the first time, free from technical and budgetary restraints. Evangelion had a notoriously strange ending when the original anime aired, consisting of character talking over still images, abstract art, and simple animations. It was highly polarizing and controversial. Anno, for his part, received death threats and the headquarters of the studio that produced the anime was vandalized. Soon after the initial uproar Anno would direct The End of Evangelion, a retelling of the final two episodes of the anime, and that seemed to mostly satisfy the fanbase. Looking back now, The End of Evangelion wasn’t “fixing” something that was “broken,” no, it was a premonition: a vision of things to come. Why remake the ending when you can just remake the whole damn thing?

The mid 2000s also saw the birth of the Compilation of Final Fantasy VII: a sub-series of projects expanding the universe and world of the video game that had “quite possibly the greatest game ever made” proudly printed on the back of its CD case. The Compilation consisted of three games, all on different platforms, and a film. First was Advent Children, a sequel to Final Fantasy VII, where three dudes that look like discarded Sephiroth concept art all have anime fights with our beloved protagonists, culminating in a ridiculous gravity defying sword fight between Cloud and Sephiroth. Before Crisis and Crisis Core are prequels that expand the story of the Turks and Zack Fair, respectively. Then there’s Dirge of Cerberus, an action shooter staring secret party member and former Turk Vincent. Were these projects good? I’d say they were largely forgettable. Crisis Core stood out as the obvious best of the bunch and I think may be worth revisiting.

As a business model, the practice pioneered by the Compilation would continue on and eventually brings us FFXIII (and sequels), FF Versus XIII (which would later become FFXV), and FF Agito XIII (which would later become FF Type-0). If that’s all incredibly confusing to you, I’m sorry, I promise I will begin talking about the Final Fantasy VII Remake soon. Suffice it to say, both Final Fantasy VII and Neon Genesis Evangelion have a certain gravity. They punch above their weight. They are both regarded as absolute classics, flaws and all. And yet, in both cases, the people responsible for their creation decided that their first at bat wasn’t good enough and it was time to recreate them as they were meant to be all along. I think this way of thinking about art is flawed, limitations are as much a part of the creative process as vision and intent. Yet, we find ourselves in a world with a remake of Final Fantasy VII, so I guess we should talk about it.

From this point forward, there’s going to be major spoilers for every Final Fantasy VII related media. So, be warned.

So, is the Final Fantasy VII Remake any good? To me, that’s the least interesting question, but we can get into it. FFVIIR is audacious, that’s for sure. Where Anno condenses and remixes a 26 episode anime series into four feature length films, the FFVIIR team expands an around 5 hour prologue chapter into a 30+ hour entire game. Naturally, there will be some growing pains. The worst example of this is the sewers. The game forces you to slog through an awful sewer level twice, fighting the same boss each time. This expanded sewer level is based on a part of the original game that was only two screens and was never revisited.

Besides the walk from point A to point B, watch a cutscene, fight a boss, repeat that you’d expect from a JRPG, there’s also three chapters where the player can explore and do sidequests. The sidequests are mostly filler, but a select few do accomplish the goal of fleshing out some of the minor characters. You spend way more time with the Avalanche crew, for example. Out of them, only Jesse has something approaching a complete personality or character arc that matters. The main playable cast is practically unchanged which was a bit surprising to me. I figured Square-Enix would tone down Barret’s characterization as Mr. T with a gun for an arm, but they decided, maybe correctly, that Barret is an immutable part of the Final Fantasy VII experience. Also, it’s practically unforgivable that Red XIII was not playable in the remake considering how much time you spend with him. I don’t understand that decision in the slightest.

The game’s general systems and mechanics, materia, combat, weapon upgrades, etc. are all engaging and fun and not much else really needs to be said about it. I found it to be great blend of action/strategy. Materia really was the peak of JPRG creativity in the original FFVII and its recreation here is just as good. The novelty of seeing weird monsters like the Hell House and the “Swordipede” (called the Corvette in the original) make appearances as full on boss fights with mechanics is just weaponized nostalgia. In general, the remake has far more hits than misses, but those misses, like the sewers and some of the tedious sidequests, are big misses. It is a flawed game, but a good one. If I were to pick a favorite part of the game, I’d have to pick updated Train Graveyard section which takes lore from the original game and creates a mini-storyline out of it.

If that was all, however, then honestly writing about Final Fantasy VII Remake wouldn’t be worth my time or yours. The game’s ambition goes way further than just reimagining Midgar as a living, real city. There’s a joke in the JRPG community about the genre that goes something like this: at the start of the game, you kill rats in the sewer and by the end you’re killing God. Well, when all is said and done, the Final Fantasy VII Remake essentially does just that. Narratively, the entire final act of the game is a gigantic mess, but if you know anything about me then you know I’d much rather a work of fiction blast off into orbit and get a little wild than be safe and boring.

In the original games, the Lifestream is a physical substance that contains spirits and memories of every living being. Hence, when a person dies, they “return to the planet”. It flows beneath the surface of the planet like blood flows in a living person’s veins and can gather to heal “wounds” in the planet. In the original game, the antagonist, Sephiroth, seeks to deeply wound the planet with Meteor and then collect all the “spirit energy” the planet musters to heal the wound. The remake builds on this concept by introducing shadowy, hooded beings called Whispers. The Whispers are a physical manifestation of the concept of destiny and they can be found when someone seeks to change their fate, correcting course to the pre-destined outcome. Whispers appear at multiple points throughout the game’s storyline both impeding and aiding the party. The ending focuses heavily on them and the idea that fate and destiny can be changed. We receive visions throughout the game which some will recognize as major story beats and images from the original game. After dealing with Shinra and rescuing Aerith, the game immediately switches over to this battle against destiny and fate that you’re either going to love or hate. The transition is abrupt and jarring. While Cloud has shown flashes of supernatural physical abilities throughout the game, suddenly he has gone full Advent Children mode and is flying around cleaving 15 ton sections of steel in half with his sword. The party previously took on giant mutated monsters, elite soldiers, and horrific science experiments, but now the gloves are off and they’re squaring up against an impossibly huge manifestation of the Planet’s will. Keep in mind, in the narrative of the original FFVII, the Midgar section was rougly 10%, if that, of the game’s full storyline. This is, frankly, insane, but I’d be lying if I didn’t love it.

The Final Fantasy VII Remake, with its goofy JRPG concluding chapter, is forcing the player to participate in the original game’s un-making. We see premonitions of an orb of materia falling to the ground, we see an older Red XIII gallop across the plains, we see a SOLDIER with black hair and Cloud’s Buster Sword make his final stand, we see Cloud waist deep in water holding something or someone. We all know what these images represent, they’ve been part of imaginations for decades. But the Final Fantasy VII Remake allows us (or forces us, depending on perspective, I guess) to kill fate, kill God, and set aside all we thought we knew about how the game would play out post-Midgar. The most obvious effect of our actions is the reveal that Zack survived his final stand against Shinra and instead of leaving Cloud his sword and legacy, helped him get to Midgar safely. I have my doubts and my worries about the future of this series. I’m not sure when the next part of the game will be released or what form it will come in, but I can’t believe I’m as excited as I am to see it.

Of course, part of me wishes they’d just left well enough alone. Remakes are generally complete wastes of time and effort. Not all, but most. Maybe I’m, to borrow a term from pro wrestling lingo, a complete mark here and I just love JRPGs and Final Fantasy VII so much that I’ll countenance close to anything bearing its name. I’ve tried my best to be as critical and fair as possible to the game and I hope that if you’re on the fence and reading this I’ve maybe helped you decide if it’s for you or not. I think the Final Fantasy VII Remake is worth your time if you’re looking for a good, meaty JRPG. It’s not perfect and it’s final act is insane, but that just makes me love it more.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like for Zack, Cloud, and Aerith to face Sephiroth in the Planet’s core? I know 15 year old me did. And he may get his wish.

[kumeko]

Title: highly improper

A/N: For scientias for the FFXV Secret Santa! I saw the Merlin AU prompt and this just jumped from my hands! XD I didn’t expect to write this much! Originally I was going to put Luna in too but I couldn’t make her fit.

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…

…

…

i.

Ignis stood on his tippy toes, his arms hanging onto the crib bars tightly as he peered down at the baby sleeping inside. Deep asleep, the baby lay flat on his back, his limbs splayed as he dreamt. Wisps of black hair crowned his head and Ignis tried to imagine the King’s golden crown on this tiny head.

 “Watching the baby again, Ignis?” King Regis softly stepped inside, quietly approaching them. His footsteps were muffled on the plush carpet. Looking down in the crib, he pulled the blanket tighter around the little prince with a smile. “Finally asleep, I see.”

 “He stopped crying an hour ago,” Ignis dutifully reported, untangling his arms. He quickly bowed to the king. “Sire.”

 “I see.” The king’s brow knit, his expression darkening slightly. “He’ll need all the rest he can get. His destiny is a heavy one. The gods have tasked him with saving our kingdom, our world.”

Ignis’s eyes widened. Noctis’s hands could barely wrap around Ignis’s finger, and they were expected to not only rule a kingdom, but also save the world? “Really?”

 “Really.” Regis crouched down, resting a hand on his shoulder. “When that times comes, he’ll need a companion. Will you be there for him?”

 “Of course,” Ignis chirped, no doubts in his mind. If he could help his father, help his king, help the prince, he’d do in a heartbeat. He glanced at the prince between the bars, at his chubby red cheeks and tiny fists.

 Noctis would save the world one day.

 Ignis just had to make sure he got there.

    ii.

“Your highness, it’s morning,” Ignis announced, entering Noctis’s chambers. He closed the heavy wooden door behind him when it was apparent that the prince hadn’t awoken yet. As usual. There were many ways to describe Noctis but an early riser was not one of them. Clicking his tongue, Ignis drew open the thick curtains, flooding the room with the bright morning light. “Wake up.”

 Noctis groaned, rolling over and burying his face in the pillow. “Five more minutes.”

 “Zero more minutes,” Ignis corrected, rubbing his forehead tiredly. They played this game every day and he didn’t know who the bigger fool was—Noctis for thinking it’d work, or Ignis for expecting him to change. “You have jousting and sword practice this morning, before we take a tour of the guards. You barely have time for breakfast, let alone sleeping in.”

 “One more minute,” Noctis recanted, as though that made much of a difference. The blankets tangled around his legs as he burrowed deeper into his pillows.

 “Zero means zero, your highness.” With a sigh, Ignis stepped forward and yanked the bedsheets off. The usual pattern it was, then.

 Noctis shivered as the chilly air hit him. “It’s so cold!” Languidly, he stretched his arms above his head as he slowly sat up. “Do I issue the orders or you?” he complained, his tone belligerent.

 “I am waking you up,” Ignis pointed out, rolling his eyes as he opened Noctis’s drawers. Selecting a fine woolen tunic and matching pants, he laid them down on the bed. “You slept a good two hours longer than I did, sire.”

 “It doesn’t feel like it.” Noctis sighed, balefully glaring up at him.

 “Sire, if you continue to look at me like that, I will call Prompto to wake you up. Or maybe Gladiolus would do?” Ignis crossed his arms, raising his brow. In this room, in the familiarity of their years, he could get away with little challenges like this.

 “No, no, I’m good.” Noctis sat up immediately, giving up the jig. Ignis wasn’t sure which of the two scared Noctis more—Prompto’s overenthusiasm or Gladiolus no-nonsense attitude. He slipped off the bed, his hands on his back as he stretched backwards until a soft crack was heard. “So, what’d you say was first? Jousting?”

 “Yes, you’ve missed the last two practices so Gladiolus will be a little…aggressive,” Ignis explained.

 “That’s putting it lightly.” Noctis winced, spreading his arms out.

 “Very lightly,” Ignis agreed, taking a deep breath before he pulled off Noctis’s shirt. He could do this. He could—the sight of Noctis’s chest, his pale skin bathed in the sunlight, made his mouth go dry. His heart beat so hard, he wasn’t sure how Noctis couldn’t hear it. Swallowing, he turned away as he folded Noctis’s shirt. It was okay, he just had to put the new shirt on. He had this.

 “I’m going to get so bruised.” Noctis shuddered. “Make sure the creams are ready, I’m going to need them.”

 “Y-yes.” He could feel his smile strain. Creams meant rubbing them on meant touching Noctis—

 This had been so much easier when they were children.

    iii.

“HIYAAAH,” Gladiolus roared, his mount charging down the field like an angry boar. His horse was already a monster at eighteen hands. With Gladiolus’s bulk added on top of it, it was like watching a titan attack a fly.

 A fly that also happened to be the prince.

 Noctis swung his lance but it was too late. He grunted as he took the full brunt of the attack, falling hard onto the ground.

 “Your Highness!” Ignis ran up the field. They were wearing armour and the lances were wood, but either way that had to hurt. Crouching next to Noctis, he quickly helped his liege into a sitting position. “Are you okay?”

 “No,” grunted Noctis, a scowl on his face as he yanked off his helmet. He glared at Gladiolus. “You could go a little easier, you know.”

 “Then you would never learn, your highness,” Gladiolus answered cockily, and perhaps it was a good thing they had all known each other since childhood. Any other noble would have had his head for the way he acted. “Now, get back on your horse.”

 “So you can murder me?” grumbled Noctis. Despite his frown, he slowly pushed himself off the ground.

 “Wait!” Ignis grabbed one of Noctis’s arms. “Are you sure you want do this? You could be hurt. You might already be hurt. Maybe we should check with—”

 “Worrywart.” Noctis’s frown melted into an exasperated smile and he shook his head. “This happens every day, you don’t need to be so worried all the time. Nothing’s broken, just a few bruises. I wish he’d hold back a little.”

 “Me too,” Ignis muttered, biting his lip. Worry welled within nonetheless, a fear that Noctis’s smile couldn’t erase.

 Noctis smirked over his shoulder at his knight. “Besides, we can’t keep Gladdy waiting.”

 Astride his horse, Gladiolus lifted his visor. Even from here, Ignis felt a shiver run up his spine from the cold look he shot them. “You’ve been spending time with Iris.”

 “...it is better to deny that,” Ignis whispered.

 “It’s not like he can kill me,” Noctis retorted quietly.

 He shook his head. “There are some things worse than death.”

    iv.

“Again?” Cindy lifted the heavy plates of armour with ease, giving a low whistle as she inspected the dents and cracks. She frowned as her finger traced a particularly ragged line, a frown that grew deeper as she realized just how much damage Noctis’s armour had gone through. Poking her head over it, she glared at Ignis. “Really? Do you know how much work I put in this?”

 “I do, and I am sorry again that we have to take so much of your time.” Ignis rubbed his neck awkwardly, feeling flustered under her angry gaze. No matter how many times he’d faced it, it never got easier, and he wasn’t sure if he should be happy or sad that her grandpa had retired, leaving the castle smithy to her. At least there was one less glare at him.

 “I just repaired it two days ago!” She set the armour down on her work bench. Crossing her arms, she turned back to him. “What’re you doing, beating it with a hammer? Fighting in a war? I’ll have you know none of the other guards, knights, or nobles give me half as much trouble as the prince.”

 Because none of them are trained by Gladiolus, Ignis almost retorted. Wisely, he kept his mouth shut and offered a sympathetic smile. “Your work is exceptional, which is why the prince knows he can trust this matter to you.”

 “The prince knows I can’t refuse, otherwise I would have stopped taking any work from him.” Cindy sighed, her shoulders slumping. “I don’t even know why I try with his things, I just know it’ll get destroyed.”

 Sensing her crack, Ignis walked next to her and squeezed her shoulder. “Your work is exemplary and should be the example for any blacksmith.”

 “Yeah, yeah, just buttering me up.” She grinned anyways. Grabbing a pair of ash-covered gloves, she glanced at Ignis. “Do you give this sweet talk to the prince too?”

 Ignis replied with an elegant, “Huh?”

 “What, you think I don’t have eyes?” Cindy snorted, pulling out her hammers as she set up her work bench. “I’ve seen how you look at him. How he looks at you.”

 “Why I never!” Ignis protested, his cheeks burning at the insinuation. The absolutely false, definitely not true accusation.

 Cindy’s eyes widened in surprise. “Oh, you haven’t—”

 “I definitely haven’t,” Ignis confirmed quickly, wanting to squash this idea before it found purchase. And definitely before anyone else heard it.

 “I see.” She grinned impishly and he had seen that expression on Prompto’s face too many times before to know where this was going. He should never have introduced her to the stable boy. “Well, if you say so.”

 Sensing a trap, he scrutinized her warily. “I do.”

  “Well, he is a prince after all.” She shrugged, still smiling slyly. “It’d be improper to act rashly.”

 “It’d be improper, period,” Ignis corrected her firmly.

 “Which is why you’re waiting for the perfect, romantic moment,” Cindy continued, not hearing him at all.

 “I’m not!” Ignis growled.

 Cindy laughed. “Sure you’re not.”

    v.

Noctis glanced over his shoulder, his hands loose on the reins of his steed. “It’s strange. I keep expecting to see someone behind us.”

 Ignis looked over his shoulder as well. Behind them, the forest path was completely empty for once. There were no signs of the usual guards, no cloaked knights on vigilant alert as they sat tall on their horses. It even sounded quieter than normal, without the extra whickers from other horses. “Me too, your highness. Though we are still within the castle’s forest, so it should be safe enough here.”

 “No, that’s not what I…” Noctis ran a hand through his hair, before giving a shy smile. “I just meant, it’s been a while since it’s been just the two of us. Without actually having to worry about work or lessons or anything.”

 “Oh.” Ignis flushed lightly as he realised that they were alone. Truly alone. No servants in the next room, no guards in the shadows, nothing. Not even the prying eyes of villagers. “You’re right, it has been a while. Not since we were children, I believe, your highness.”

 “Forever, basically. And, just call me Noctis.” When Ignis opened his mouth to protest, Noctis shook his head. “It’s fine, we’re alone.”

 That didn’t make it fine, not in the least. They were still prince and attendant, still divided by an invisible barrier that remained in place no matter who was there. Still, he couldn’t stop himself from uttering, “Noctis.”

 “Yeah.” Noctis smiled whole-heartedly, his eyes crinkling just so, and Ignis stared, transfixed. “Just like that. I kinda miss when we were kids—you used to be less formal.” He paused, then corrected himself. “Slightly less formal.”

 “A problem I have thoroughly corrected,” Ignis finally replied, regaining his voice. His heart was in his throat and it was hard to keep his voice calm, to keep himself collected. He forced his eyes way and stare at the path ahead instead. At least his mount kept a steady pace, trotting along without any realizations of the issues his rider was having.

 “It wasn’t a problem. I liked it better that way.” Noctis leaned back slightly, staring up at trees. His bangs covered his eyes and his next words were careful. “We were…closer then.”

 Ignis peeked at him from the corner of his eyes, unable to read his liege’s expression. “We grew up, as children are wont to do.”

 “I guess.” Noctis looked down at his hands for a long moment. The only sound was the steady clip-clop of their horses as they traversed the dirt path. A deep breath and he stood up straight, his jaw set. Pulling his horse to a stop, he shook his head. “No.”

 “No?” Pressing his right leg, Ignis guided his horse to turn around and ride back to Noctis. Stopping next to him, he cocked his head. “Is something wrong?”

 “This. All of this.” Noctis shook his head once more. “We…we don’t have to grow apart.” As he spoke, his hand reached out, his fingers almost brushing Ignis’s hand. “I don’t want that, I want us to—”

 It had been easier, when they were children. When Ignis could touch and be touched by Noctis and think nothing of it. When he could watch Noctis get hurt and think only of his improvement, when he could spend long hours helping with paperwork and not feel the small gap between their shoulders as though it were a physical presence.

 But they weren’t children, not anymore, and Ignis could only see the possibilities in that potential touch, the torrent of words within him just waiting to pour out. His heart was in his throat, full and ready to speak, but he couldn’t he couldn’t he couldn’t.

 It was almost reflexive, his flinch. His draw back. Ignis pulled away, just out of reach.

 Noctis stared at him, shocked. His eyes widened, hurt crossing his face, his fingers still hovering where Ignis’s used to be.

 Immediately, Ignis realized he’d made the wrong move. “Noctis…”

 “Fine.” Noctis’s fingers curled into a fist, his brow narrowed. With a click of his tongue, he urged his horse into a gallop, leaving Ignis behind in the dust.

    vii.

“So this is where you’re sulking!” Pitchfork hanging off his shoulder, Prompto entered the box stall. The door closed behind with a click and he cocked his head. “I think the prince’s horse is all cleaned now.”

 “I’m not sulking,” Ignis retorted, barely sparing the brazen interloper a glance before returning to Noctis’s black stallion, Regalia. A brush in hand, he firmly stroked the mount’s side. “And I need to just finish checking his hooves.”

 “I swear you go overboard on everything.” Prompto rolled his eyes, setting his pitchfork on the ground. He crossed his arms over the handle and rested his chin on his arms. “And you are totally sulking.”

 “I’m not,” Ignis snapped back, shooting him a dirty glare. “Don’t you have more important matters to attend? Your job? These stables are in need of cleaning.”

 “Hey, don’t take it out on me.” Prompto pouted, his cheeks puffed and lip jutted out. “Is it because you and Noctis fought?”

 “Your highness,” Ignis corrected automatically, they’d had this argument too many times before. Registering what Prompto said, he froze. “What makes you think we fought?”

 “The way he’s trashing Gladdy?” Prompto gave a playful grin. “And so it was a fight?”

 “I…I didn’t…” Ignis slumped his shoulders. “Is he that angry?”

 “Hmmm…” Prompto tapped his chin, considering it. “Well, Gladiolus did say he’d never seen Noctis so aggressive before. And Noctis kinda just glared at me when I brought up your name. So. There’s that.”

 Ignis closed his eyes. Well, he did deserve this, rebuking the prince like that. He didn’t even let the prince finish speaking before reacting, it could have just been something ordinary, like a renewal of friendship. “I didn’t intend for this.”

 “I’m sure you didn’t.” Prompto softened. Setting the pitchfork to the side, he approached Ignis and squeezed his shoulder. “You always mean well. Sometimes too well.”

 “It’s just…” Ignis stared at the black hide of Regalia, as though the answers could be found in the whirls of his hair. “I want to make sure he’s happy. Always. To help him with his duties and try to ease the burden he has.”

 And to keep these feelings of his sealed away, forever.

 “I know you do. You’ve always put him first. But,” Prompto asked thoughtfully, peering up at him. “You know, he always seems happiest with you. Have you ever thought of that?”

    viii.

 The evening breeze was chilly and Ignis shivered as he nudged open the doors to the rooftop. On the western tower, there was no night-watch or prying eyes. Only the roosting pigeons knew of what transpired here, their coos filling the air as Ignis stepped out onto the exposed roof.

 Ahead of him was Noctis, sitting on the bench they’d set up when they were children. A secret base, as the prince liked to call it. A place where he could be alone. He’d often come here when he was angry or sad. All of which meant that Prompto hadn’t been teasing earlier. Or at least, only teasing.

 Saying nothing, Ignis walked forward carefully, a small tray in his hands. The heat from Noctis’s favourite soup wafted up to his nose and he was glad that the food was keeping warm. “Your highness.”

 Noctis didn’t say anything, his back rigid, his eyes staring straight ahead as the sun slowly set.

 Ignis hesitated. Taking a deep breath, he quickly said, “Noctis.” His ears burned.

 At that, Noctis turned his head, acknowledging his presence. He still didn’t say anything but he moved to the side, making room on the bench for him. Grateful, Ignis sat down next to him, setting down the tray on the space next to him. He folded his hands on his lap. Noctis softly inhaled, exhaled, a sound as familiar as Ignis’s own heartbeat. “I’m sorry.”

 Noctis didn’t reply.

 “I…” Ignis couldn’t say why he really pulled away. Couldn’t break this fragile thing between them. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”

 Softly, Noctis sighed. He rested his forehead on his hand, his head angled slightly to look up at Ignis. “I know. You never do.” His expression was still dark. “It’s just…I…” Gritting his teeth, he curled into himself. “Never mind, just…just forget about what I did.”

 “Never.” Ignis shook his head. Noctis had never looked so small before. So vulnerable. And it was all because of him and his inability to keep his feelings in check. “I also miss how close we used to be. It’s just…our positions…you’re the prince and I…”

 “Is that it?” Noctis sat up and leaned close, too close. Ignis barely had time to register his presence before Noctis’s hands were on his shoulder, keeping him in place. “Is that all that’s stopping you?”

 “Noctis?” Ignis glanced nervously at the door. If anyone found them in such a compromising situation…heads would roll. His own, possibly.

 “Is that all?” Noctis repeated, unconcerned.

 “It’s a big thing,” Ignis protested. “You’re the heir to the throne. I’m a commoner.”

 “You’re right, I’m the heir to the throne.” Noctis leaned closer and Ignis could see his long eyelashes, the flecks of grey in his eyes. His hands shook slightly. “So who can tell me that this is wrong?” The gap between their bodies, their lips, was so small. Ignis could feel Noctis’s heat radiating onto his skip, feel his breath on his face. “Who can tell me not to love you?”

 Love? Ignis’s mind went blank. Noctis closed the gap, kissing him hungrily and any thoughts he still had disappeared entirely. All he could feel was Noctis, his hands digging into Ignis’s back as he held him tight, deepening the kiss. And god, his lips were soft, so soft, just as he’d imagined for years, and his arms were strong and—

 And he was kissing the prince. Ignis pulled back in a panic. “Your highness!”

 “Noctis,” Noctis admonished, a small pout on his face. “What’s wrong now?”

 “I…you…this is highly improper!” Ignis blushed a furious red.

 “I thought…” Noctis turned red himself, retracting quickly. Realization dawned on his face. “This…you didn’t mean…” He buried his face in his hands. “Oh god.”

 “No, I did—I mean, I didn’t…” Ignis took a deep breath, trying to regain some measure of coherence. “You like me.”

 Head still buried in his hands, Noctis nodded.

 “Oh.” Ignis felt his skin burn even hotter, his heart doing funny things inside his chest. Noctis loved him too. This wasn’t a one-sided pining. Not now, at least.

 Suddenly, he understood Noctis’s reaction when they were horse riding. He’d taken it as a rejection. Resting a hand on Noctis’s back, his other hand pried Noctis out of hiding and gently pulled him up into a seated position. “Me too,” he admitted. “I like you too.”

 Noctis blinked, confused. “Then…”

 “I…” Ignis touched his lips with a hand. “That was…” He smiled, pleased for a moment, before remembering himself. Remembering who they were. “That was improper.”

 Noctis frowned. “Ignis, I’m the prince. I’ll decide what’s improper or not.”

 “But—”

 “I love you, but sometimes you talk entirely too much.” Noctis wrapped an arm around Ignis, the other hand tangled in his hair. “Do you love me?”

 There was no where to turn, to hide. “Yes,” Ignis admitted, unable to lie when Noctis was staring at him so intensely.

 “Good, that’s all I need.” Noctis smiled brightly and leaned forward to kiss him again.

 In the part of Ignis’s brain that was still functioning, he hoped he’d remembered to lock the door.

[phoenix-downer]

Sora and Xehanort’s Final Conversation: Japanese and English Comparison

This is the fourth in a series of translation posts I’ve done about KH3. The first three were about Sora and Kairi’s scenes in KH3, but this one will be about Sora and Xehanort’s final conversation.

Here’s a general key for the kind of analysis I like to do:

JP: Official Japanese Dialogue

EN: Official English Dialogue

TR: My Translation (usually more literal and thus more stilted than the official English version. I’m not using natural-sounding English in order to stick as close to the Japanese versions of the lines as possible for the purpose of analysis)

Notes: things I found interesting, grammatical points, extra thoughts, etc.

One last note: media doesn’t exist in a vacuum. Every work of art must be viewed through the cultural lens of the people who made it. Kingdom Hearts, for all its ties to Disney, is still very much a Japanese game, so it should be analyzed in light of that.

With that in mind, let’s continue.

After you defeat Xehanort, the cutscene opens with this shot of Kingdom Hearts:

The camera zooms out:

And we get this shot of Scala ad Caelum:

Quick note on the name: it means “Stairway to Heaven” or “Stairway to the Sky” in Latin (according to a quick check - my knowledge of Latin is rudimentary at best). Caelum is a part of Noctis’s name (of FFXV fame), and, of course, Sora means sky in Japanese, so the link between Sora and this world is clear.

This shot of the sky really emphasizes this fact, and note that night is already starting to fade as a new day dawns:

The camera pans down... 

...and Xehanort is standing on a white/light square, Donald and Goofy are standing on the gold anchor-like thing, and Sora is standing on a black/dark square. Sora and Xehanort are standing on opposite sides; Xehanort on the white “square,” Sora on the black “square,” like two kings facing each other off in a game of chess.

Is it symbolic? Probably. It’s interesting that Xehanort is on the white “square” and Sora on the black one, as perhaps we might expect the opposite, as Sora is on the side of good and Xehanort is on the side of evil. Perhaps it also foreshadows Sora’s final fate - to be lost, to be alone, while Xehanort gets to... ascend to the light with Eraqus? Hard to say.

Sora is not alone here, though; here at least he has Donald and Goofy with him.

We get a slightly closer look at this design...

...and we can see that there are seven numbers, starting with I on the bottom-right corner and moving clockwise. I, II, and III use Roman numerals, but the other letters do not; they use a star-shaped pattern of sorts. Sora is standing by the III. Maybe because this game is Kingdom Hearts III? 

Three is also a number associated with completion, wholeness, perfection and even divinity in Christianity, and Nomura has used Christian imagery in the series before, so... Sora will be a god/have godlike powers someday confirmed?

I kid, I kid. This is reaching at straws a bit, but it’s fun to speculate, and Sora’s placement here is interesting to note nonetheless. The number seven is also significant because it’s the number of the Guardians of Light and the number of the Foretellers plus Luxu and the Master of Masters. It’s another number that tends to be associated with wholeness/perfection as well.

Continuing on, the camera moves to this shot of Xehanort’s leg:

And then he drops the χ-Blade in a shot that is a visual callback to an earlier shot in the game...

...namely, when Sora’s friends were torn from him and he likewise dropped his Keyblade:

Xehanort collapses to the ground at Sora’s feet with black smoke wafting off him (probably a sign he’s fading)...

...much like how Sora dropped to the ground at the Keyblade Graveyard (minus the smoke):

As I said in an earlier analysis, this is significant because Xehanort is no longer towering over him. They’re on equal footing now. Sora has dragged him off his high horse and defeated him, and Xehanort is a guy who loves to tower over people...

...whereas Sora lowers himself to be at the same level as his smaller friends:

Not only that, Sora has actually managed to get Xehanort to collapse to the ground when before he had collapsed to the ground over his grief at losing his friends, culminating in the moment he loses Kairi... 

...and then his grief over Kairi’s death:

But not here. He’s the one standing over Xehanort for once: 

Man was this satisfying to see.

Sora, Donald, and Goofy are all panting in this scene, indicating how grueling the battle was for them. Look at Donald and Goofy’s glares, too:

Xehanort tries to lift himself up...

...to no avail. He’s too weak, so he collapses back to the ground:

JP なぜだ　なぜこんなー

EN Why... How...

TR Why... Why like thisー

Notes: No real significant difference here. In both versions Xehanort seems to be questioning how he was defeated like this, implying he’s in a state of disbelief that he was defeated by these three in particular.

We can see he isn’t doing so well, and he winces in pain:

His pose is reminiscent of Sora’s pose when he despairs. Sora’s fists are clenched, and Xehanort has one fist clenched as well.

The camera cuts to Sora...

...who flings his arm out...

...and then clenches his fist again. He sounds furious/fed up with the way Miyu Irino delivers his lines, too:

JP 決着はついた　もうあきらめろ！

EN It’s over now! You lost!

TR It’s over. Give up already!

Notes: “It’s over” can also mean something like “it’s settled” here. They fought, Sora (and Donald and Goofy) won, Xehanort lost, the matter has been decided. And when Sora tells Xehanort to give up, he’s commanding him to do so by using the imperative form of this verb, akiramero. In other words, he’s had it with Xehanort at this point and is sick of fighting him.

But Xehanort isn’t about to give up that easily:

JP 見るがいい　もう手遅れだ

EN No, look... You are too late...

TR Take a look. You’re too late/you lost your final chance.

Notes: “Take a look” is literally “(to) look is good,” but I changed it to make sense in English/to better match the pragmatic meaning of the Japanese sentence instead of the literal meaning. Even in defeat Xehanort won’t give in; he taunts Sora by telling him it’s too late already anyway.

Sora and Donald inhale sharply and look up...

...to see Kingdom Hearts looming above them:

Something is happening. Light is starting to leech off of it in a way that almost looks like solar flares:

Sora and Donald both notice. Look at their concerned faces:

Sora gasps...

...and tilts his head a little higher:

As Donald and Goofy confer about what’s going on, Sora keeps looking up at Kingdom Hearts:

JP 手遅れなの？

EN Are we really?

TR Are (we really) too late?

Notes: Goofy uses the construction ~nano here at the end of his sentence to check for confirmation from Donald, hence the English version’s use of the word “really” here.

JP わかんないよ！

EN I don’t know.

TR I don’t know!

Notes: Donald speaks really colloquially here and it’s pretty cute; instead of the standard wakaranai he uses wakannai. He also uses the emphatic particle yo at the end of the sentence to make it clear he has no idea either.

The camera cuts back to Sora, and he is furious about what’s happening. Note his gritted teeth, curled lip, and eyebrows tilted downward in a frown:

He even leans forward as he chews Xehanort out:

JP 何が起きるんだ？

EN What’s gonna happen?

TR What’s gonna happen?

Notes: Sora uses the ~nda form here to indicate he wants an explanation and he wants an answer.

As he finishes his sentence, he is leaning forward and still glaring: 

The camera cuts to a shot of Xehanort still on the ground at Sora, Donald, and Goofy’s feet. Note Sora’s clenched fists and how he’s hunched over:

Xehanort tries to get up again, and you can see Sora relax a little:

JP 浄化　世界を元の状態にリセットするのだ

EN A purge... The World will be returned whence it started.

TR Purification. The World will be reset to its original state/condition.

Notes: Xehanort uses the construction ~noda at the end of the sentence to give an explanation. Sora asked for it, and he’s giving it. 

The word I translated as “original” here, moto, can mean a number of things, including “origin,” “source,” “foundation,” or even “root,” depending on context. I’m mentioning it here because it shows up again later on in Xehanort’s story, and I have to translate it differently for it to make sense in English.

Xehanort says “whence” in English to indicate he is speaking in a narrative fashion, as “whence” is no longer commonly used in English anymore.

The English version of Kingdom Hearts renders sekai as World with a capital W here to refer to the overall World that existed before it was split into the smaller worlds you now visit on the Gummi Ship, and I maintained that distinction here. Japanese kanji and kana don’t have capital or lowercase letters, so this is something the English localization uses to make the distinction between the World and the worlds clear for the English-speaking fans.

The word the English version translated as “purge,” jōka, can mean a purge or purification. Looking it up on Google, I found the following definition:

よごれや悪を取り除いて、清浄・清潔にすること。

To remove things like dirt and evil, and make them pure/clean. 

So in other words, the World will be purged/purified and reset to its original condition/the state it was in at the beginning. That was Xehanort’s goal.

Continuing on, Sora fully straightens and lets out a surprised noise, his hands no longer in fists:

Xehanort manages to lift himself up to a kneeling position, and he is clutching his side, clearly still injured:

JP 世界の起源は闇だ　光はその闇から生まれたー

EN The World began in darkness. And from that darkness came light.

TR The origin/beginning of the World is darkness. From that darkness, light was born.

Notes: The word I translated as “born” umareta, can also mean “come from/came from,” hence why the English version went with “came” here. In the second sentence I rearranged the order a little to make better sense in English; in Japanese it’s more literally, “Light, from that darkness was born.”

Also, just as a quick note that will apply throughout this analysis: Japanese does not have articles, so any “the” and “a” and “an” in the English version or translation have been implied from context and added in the translation. Japanese simply does not grammaticalize the definite/indefinite distinction the way English (and a lot of other European languages) does.

JP そして　その光から人が生まれ　心が生まれた

EN From the light came the people, and the people had hearts.

TR Then, from that light people were born, and hearts were born.

Notes: The English translation did a good job of maintaining the story-like language Xehanort uses here. In Japanese he uses umareta or a variation of it several times at the end of his phrases to form nice parallels, which the English version translates as “came” in most cases.

Anyway, according to Xehanort’s story, the world began in darkness. Then, from that darkness came light, and from that light came people, and then came hearts. But the story doesn’t end there.

Xehanort winces again here, indicating he’s still in a lot of pain:

The camera cuts to this shot, and Xehanort is standing by the number six, which is one number short of the number of completion/perfection (in Christian thought at least), seven. Because it falls short of seven, it can mean imperfection. It is also is the number associated with humanity, as in the creation story in Genesis, humanity was created on the sixth day.

Significant? Maybe, maybe not. Xehanort certainly falls short of the mark of perfection, that’s for sure. He wore armor reminiscent of a goat earlier on... 

...and goats are associated with the devil, so... 

Xehanort as a fallen angel of light makes a lot of sense, actually. As the Kingdom Hearts version of Lucifer, as it were. Especially with his whole speech in this scene about wanting to reset the World to get rid of the darkness and bring back the original light. 

In the next line, he also talks about how evil came into the World while standing by the number associated with imperfection and/or humanity, so... actually yeah, maybe this is all linked together:

JP 心に悪意が生まれ　結局また闇が生まれた

EN  Evil burgeoned in those hearts, begetting more darkness.

TR In people’s hearts evil/malice was born, and finally, darkness was born again.

Notes: This is where the direct umareta/“came” parallel is a little lost in English, though the meaning is maintained in a way that makes Xehanort’s story sound very poetic. Xehanort uses words like “beget” which are typically only used in religious contexts in modern English to add a sense of gravity and religious gravitas to his speech.

Speaking of religion, the Japanese version of these lines strikes me as very cyclical. The World began in darkness. Then, from that darkness light was born, and from that light people were born, and then hearts. From hearts evil/malice was born, and in the end darkness was born again. The World began in darkness and darkness is born anew; the cycle repeats. 

This type of language reminds me of Buddhism, with its cycle of birth, suffering, death, and rebirth. This isn’t surprising, as Kingdom Hearts is a Japanese game and Buddhism (along with Shintoism) were the majority religions for a very long time in Japan (though less so in modern times, as more and more people are not religious nowadays). Perhaps Xehanort is trying to break this cycle (or a similar cycle) by resetting the universe.

The word for evil/malice here, akui, is also often used in legal contexts to refer to crimes that were done in bad faith. When I googled the word, I also got this definition:

他人や物事に対していだく悪い感情、または見方。

Bad feelings or perspectives towards other people and things (among other things).

The word I translated “finally” here, kekkyoku, I am noting here because I will have to translate it differently later on but wanted to point out the parallel in the original version. It can also mean “in the end.”

Continuing on, the camera pans to Sora, Donald, and Goofy, still standing by that III:

Then cuts to Donald, who looks very distressed by Xehanort’s story:

JP そうやって世界を闇で覆っていったのだ

EN And that darkness spread across the World like a plague.

TR In this way, the World was covered in darkness. 

Notes: Xehanort uses the ~noda construction here again at the end of the sentence to give an explanation. 

The word I translated as “was covered,” ōtteitta, can also mean “to hide,” “to conceal,” “to wrap,” “to disguise.” It can be used in the context of snow or water covering land, for example. In this sentence I’m sort of getting the sense that the darkness cloaked the World and covered it. 

The English version goes with the plague metaphor, which immediately brings forth to mind images of impurity/dirt/disease in association with darkness. Which is fitting for the overall tone of the scene, as Xehanort claims he wanted to purge/purify the World.

The camera changes to a shot of Sora that begins at his heart and pans up to his face along with a line that very well might have been meant as foreshadowing:

JP 世界に生まれた光という希望も　結局は闇になる

EN The light, the symbol of the World’s hope, was devoured by shadow.

TR In the end, the hope that is the light born in the World also becomes darkness. 

Notes: The phrase I translated as “in the end” is the same word I translated as “finally” earlier, kekkyoku. Just wanted to point out that parallel because Xehanort is deliberately reusing certain words over and over again here in the telling of his story.

The Japanese version says that even the light becomes darkness again, whereas the English version says that the light was devoured by darkness. The end result is the same though: darkness.

I think it’s very telling that this line is spoken when Sora is shown; he is the light and the symbol of the World’s hope, in a way, and earlier in this scene we saw him transform into darkness...

...and at the end of this game he will be lost as well.

Continuing on:

JP この世界はもうダメだ　失敗したのだ

EN Leaving nothing but ruin... An utter failure.

TR This World is no good anymore. It’s a failure.

Notes: Xehanort uses the ~noda construction here again at the end of the sentence to give an explanation, and the phrase I translated as “It’s a failure” is more literally, “It failed.”

The phrasing is a little different in the Japanese and English versions, but the overall meaning/intent is the same: Xehanort thinks this World is a failure and that a new one is needed. Xehanort delivers these lines with a lot of emotion, too; clearly he feels strongly about this.

The camera switches to a shot of Kingdom Hearts again:

JP だから　はじまりの光ー

EN  But, the first lightー

TR So, the first lightー

Notes: The Japanese version is more literally, “(the) light of the beginning.”

JP キングダムハーツによって　世界を元からはじめればいい

EN the light of Kingdom Heartsー it can give us a new start.

TR by (using) Kingdom Hearts, (we) should start the World from the beginning.

Notes: The word moto is used here again, which I translated as “original” earlier but “beginning” here.

There is no “we” pronoun in the Japanese version; Japanese does not require pronouns the same way English does and they can often be dropped and implied/inferred from context. I added in the “we” for it to make sense in English. 

Xehanort uses the ~baii construction, which he’ll use again here soon. It’s a conditional grammar construction and it’s used here to indicate what Xehanort thinks is the best course of action.

JP 何もない　真っ白な世界からー

EN An empty World, pure and bright...

TR Nothing/empty... from a pure/blank Worldー

Notes: Kept the translation very literal here to make it clear what exactly the Japanese version said.

While it’s true masshiro can mean “blank,” it can also mean “pure.” Think in the sense of “pure white.” For a more detailed Japanese definition, feel free to check this dictionary entry out. I saw debate over whether the English version mistranslated this part and thus messed up Xehanort’s motives, but as masshiro can mean blank or pure, I’d say the translators handled this part very well, especially with some of the other phrasing Xehanort uses in this scene (like purify/purge).

Continuing on, Sora doesn’t let Xehanort finish his grand speech; he interrupts him in a very satisfying “shut up and stop rambling” moment:

JP それは　おまえが決めることじゃない

EN It wasn’t your decision to make.

TR That’s not your decision (to make). / That’s not something (for) you (to) decide. 

Notes: The word for “decision/decide,” kimeru, I will have to translate as something else later on for it to flow well in English, but the word used in the Japanese version is kimeru throughout. 

Anyway, Xehanort is not happy to hear this and clutches the χ-Blade:

And struggles to his feet as Sora, Donald, and Goofy watch:

He’s still weak, though, so he has to brace himself with the χ-Blade (props to the χ-Blade for actually being sharp enough to pierce the ground):

Then speaks again:

JP では　誰が決める？

EN Then whose was it?

TR Then who (gets to) decide?

Notes: The word for "decide” here is kimeru again. 

Xehanort holds the χ-Blade up before holding it at his side:

And Sora reacts, not liking how Xehanort is holding the χ-Blade like that again:

But, he very tellingly says nothing. Perhaps because he doesn’t have an answer. Perhaps because he knows Xehanort thinks he will claim he should have been the one to decide instead of Xehanort. But Sora isn’t arrogant; he doesn’t think he should make this kind of decision for people because he knows he has no right to. So he says nothing instead.

Xehanort misunderstands Sora’s silence as not understanding, and so tries to explain to him. Here you can even see him do his weird finger thing before he clenches his fist:

JP 力を持つ者が決めるしかない

EN The World needs someone to stand up and lead.

TR Only those who have power can decide.

Notes: Here we have Xehanort’s whole philosophy in a nutshell. He thinks that only the people with power should be allowed to decide. Took long enough, but he’s finally giving Sora (and the audience) a straight answer. 

The word for "decide” here is kimeru again. The word for “only,” shikanai, means something like “there is no choice but to~.” The word I translated as “those,” mono, more literally means “people.” Xehanort’s saying the only option here is for the people with power to decide.

The Japanese version gives a bit of a “survival of the fittest, the powerful will rule over the weak” sort of vibe with the phrasing. He’s pulling from the evil dictator textbook, basically, and the English version diverges from the Japanese version here and phrases the whole thing in terms of leadership. Yes, it’s a noticeable change, but I think it works well, plus it gives Sora some really awesome lines here in a bit.

JP 力なき者は強者の決めた世界で身勝手に闇を生み出すだけだ

EN Someone strong, to stop the weak from polluting the World with their endless darkness.

TR Those without power, in the World the strong have chosen, only selfishly bring forth darkness.

Notes: “Chosen” was kimeta, the past tense of kimeru, in the Japanese version.

The word I translated as “the strong,” kyōsha, is literally “strong person,” when you look at the kanji. Xehanort defines weak people as those without power and strong people as those with it. He blames the weak for bringing darkness into the World, says it’s all they do, and calls their behavior selfish. 

You sure get the vibe that he thinks the weak are only capable of bringing forth more and more darkness, which is probably why in his mind he is justified in resetting the universe, murdering Kairi, attempting to murder Sora and the rest of his friends, norting Terra for years, trying to nort Sora, a murder attempt on his best friend, etc., etc. in order to bring about a new World. It’s all for the best in the end, right? The ends justify the means, don’t they?

No. They absolutely do not. 

And speaking of which, what on earth was he thinking with murdering Kairi? She’s one of the few hearts that is made of the pure light he claims to love so much. He wants that light back so badly he’s resetting the universe, and yet one of the few people it exists in naturally he decides to... kill off? For motivation Sora didn’t need because he already had plenty of motivation to fight him? What?

In other words, Xehanort is a massive hypocrite who can’t even behave consistently with his own beliefs. What else is new.

Continuing on, the camera focuses on his face in profile here:

JP 強者の決めた運命を受け入れていればいい

EN Someone to dictate their destiny.

TR (They) should accept the fate the strong have chosen.

Notes: “Chosen” was kimeta, the past tense of kimeru, in the Japanese version. The ~baii construction pops up again here to indicate what Xehanort thinks is the best course of action.

So now the strong get to decide the fate of the weak, hmmmm? Man, I wonder where I’ve heard that kind of reasoning before...

Oh yeah, that’s right. Evil dictators. Xehanort still sounds like one of those. He has delusions of grandeur, but Sora’s about to set him straight.

The camera goes to a wide angle to paint Sora and Xehanort’s ideological clash in epic strokes, with Sora on one end of the screen and Xehanort on the other. Between the two of them are three doorways with three keyholes above those doorways. Symbolic? Probably. It makes for a lovely visual even if it’s not though.

JP だとしたらー

EN  If so...

TR If soー

Notes: Sora decides to entertain Xehanort’s notion for a moment. Okay, even if the social Darwinism nonsense he’s spouting is true (it’s not), does that mean Xehanort deserves to rule?

Sora’s face is shown in profile here on the left side of the screen, in contrast with Xehanort’s face being shown in profile earlier on the right side of the screen:

And Sora gives his answer:

JP おまえも強者じゃないよ　ゼアノート

EN  you’re not that person, Xehanort.

TR you aren’t one of the strong either, Xehanort.

Notes: The Japanese version is more literally, “You also aren’t the strong/a strong person, Xehanort.”

Sora uses the derogatory/familiar pronoun for “you” here, omae, to address Xehanort, showing how little regard he has for him. He also uses the particle yo to indicate he’s imparting knowledge to Xehanort - he’s telling him that he’s not fit to decide. His sass and attitude is great here; he’s speaking like he’s qualified to instruct Xehanort on this.

I love the Japanese version of this line because he’s basically saying, “Okay, maybe all of the stuff you just said is true, but you know what? You’re not one of the strong. You’re one of the weak. You don’t deserve to rule. You don’t deserve to decide other people’s fates for them.”

The English version is fantastic too. As Xehanort’s lines in the English version earlier phrased this in terms of leadership, Sora tells him he’s not the one who should lead. He’s not fit to lead.

In both languages, Sora hands Xehanort an excellent burn. 

Xehanort is displeased at hearing this:

Then makes a hmmm? noise...

...and tilts his head, waiting for Sora to say more:

And he does, and look how angry Goofy and Donald still are:

JP 本当の強者は世界の運命は握らない

EN A real leader knows that destiny is beyond his control...

TR A real/true strong person doesn’t grasp/seize (the) World’s fate/destiny.

Notes: The word for “strong person” here is still kyōsha, which I translated as “the strong” earlier. Had to tweak things a bit for the sake of English grammar. Makes sense that the English version went with “leader” to maintain the parallel throughout and avoid this problem.

In the Japanese version, the focus is on the World’s fate/destiny, probably to parallel all those other times Xehanort spoke about the World, whereas the English version focuses on destiny in general. Sora also notes that a real leader/strong person doesn’t try to control destiny or seize it for himself/herself. In fact, Sora would probably consider someone who does so to be unworthy of such power, just how he considers Xehanort unworthy of the power. 

The English version adds in the pronoun “his” because again in Japanese pronouns tend to be omitted and implied from context. By saying what a real leader does here, he is saying that Xehanort is not one... and, perhaps, subtly claiming that he is one, as he has accepted his fate/destiny, whatever it may be.

The word here for fate/destiny, unmei, also pops up in Sora’s opening lines. Borrowing from an earlier analysis: 

JP

奪われた世界ー

奪われた心ー

その繋がりを断ち切られてもー

それが運命ならー

歩む道は帰るべき方向を常に向いている

EN

They can take your world.

They can take your heart.

Cut you loose from all you know.

But if it’s your fate…

…then every step forward will always be a step closer to home.

TR

(My) world was stolenー

(My) heart was stolenー

(My) connection (to my friends) was even brokenー

(But even) if that’s (my) fateー

The road to walk, the way that will lead me homeー I’ll always keep facing it.

Notes: These lines show how Sora has accepted his fate, and in the KH3 Ultimania Nomura confirmed that these lines reflect Sora’s mindset at the end of the game I believe it was (someone fact check me on that though please!) 

Even though Sora doesn’t say it outright, his words here could be taken to mean he thinks he’s the rightful leader here, not Xehanort, because he has accepted his fate in a way that Xehanort refuses to. At the very least, Xehanort does not deserve to rule because he’s trying to seize hold of the World’s fate/destiny.

And we see Sora follow through on this in the end; he accepts his death with dignity and saves Kairi, even knowing it will probably cost him his life. 

He blinks here briefly:

Then opens his eyes again to deliver the rest of his speech, complete with extra frowning at Xehanort. Note how his eyebrows change position:

JP そんな力は持たないよ

EN and accepts that.

TR You can’t hold/keep that kind of power.

Notes: Sora flat up tells Xehanort in the Japanese version that that kind of power is not something that can be grasped, held, or kept. Fate/destiny cannot be controlled the way Xehanort is trying to.

The Japanese version does not have the word “can’t” or “you” in it; Sora more literally says, “(You) don’t hold that kind of power.”

Sora uses the particle yo here again to really emphasize that he’s telling Xehanort this. 

He continues to stare Xehanort down after he finishes speaking:

Then we get this closeup shot of Xehanort’s face...

...as his eyes narrow:

The camera goes back to Sora’s face in a similar closeup shot:

And Sora’s eyebrows tilt downwards even further as he just continues to glare at Xehanort:

It’s a battle of wills, if you may. Who will stand down first?

The answer is Xehanort. He actually smiles, too:

Takes a moment to gather his thoughts:

And says:

JP おまえは我が友に似ているな

EN You... make me think of an old friend.

TR You’re like my friend.

Notes: Xehanort uses the same derogatory/familiar pronoun for “you” Sora used earlier to address him, omae. Here it seems a little less hostile though. Xehanort also uses the pronoun wa here to refer to himself when in other contexts he’s used watashi, I believe? 

Huh. Probably using wa here because he’s an old dude. 

He also uses the particle na at the end of the sentence to express some extra emotion with his declaration here.

He even smiles a little, probably because he’s thinking back on fond memories he has of Eraqus:

Sora just stares back at him, and the background kinda looks like he’s wearing a giant crown though I admit this is a stretch. Goofy’s displeased look sure isn’t though:

The scene goes on and the others arrive, so skipping forward to this moment when Xehanort hands over the χ-Blade:

JP 見事だった

EN Very well done.

TR (You did) splendidly/admirably/excellently.

Notes: Xehanort expresses his admiration for Sora’s efforts here. 

Note Sora’s shocked look:

He looks down...

...then takes the χ-Blade. Note how one hand is on the hilt and the other hand is holding part of the χ-Blade’s wing-like things, almost like he’s admiring it:

Then he takes it from Xehanort and looks up:

And as someone pointed out... (can’t remember who, sorry, but credit to you!) this is the first time Sora has officially been bequeathed a Keyblade by someone else. And it was Xehanort who was the one to do it. 

Make of that what you will.

Screenshots are from here and here. Usual disclaimers apply about my Japanese ability and translation abilities being a work in progress, etc. Might tweak things if I notice mistakes or if people mention stuff I forgot to.

[nothing-but-dreamy]

SLEEPLESS NIGHTS

Pairing: FFXV! NYX ULRIC x READER

Words: 2.262

Warnings: angst, fluff

Synopsis: To have feelings for someone isn’t always easy, mostly not for Nyx. And then, it’s Yn: his best friend and partner as a Glaive. Considering his past and the loss he already had to endure, he tries to store his feelings away. To protect himself. And to protect Yn...that's just not working with an unplanned confession...

'No! Yn, don't! Fall back! Get safe!', Nyx called out, seeing the big paw aiming for her position. It was a nightmare...no! Even worse. It was reality that reminded him of one of his nightmares he had during the last months. Since he noticed he had feelings for Yn, his best friend and partner, Nyx got nightmares on a regular basis. And all of them had one thing in common: Yn was always dying

No matter what Nyx did to fight back. No matter how fast Nyx was to hurry for help. No matter how much of a hero he was. He was always too late. And every single time, he had to watch her die like his sister.

In his dreams, every time, Yn looked at him helpless, seeking or pleadingly for rescue. And every time, Nyx reached out for her. And still, he was too late. Sometimes, he couldn't reach her at all and just could watch from a distance. Sometimes, he could reach her and was still not able to save her. Nyx always lost her. And each time, when he awoke, soaked in his own sweat, panting for air, he was determined to bury his feelings for her as deep as he could.

Then, Drautos had teamed her up with Nyx to fight against a Behemoth. A big, mean monster of a beast that had found its way to the wall. Of course, Yn was hooked immediately, she was always ready for a fight, but Nyx started to argue that he wanted a different partner. Just someone else than her.

From the corner of his eyes he had seen how Yn's face fell. The former excitement changed into resentment, unsure why her friend reacted like this to work with her. Nyx saw the betrayal in her eyes. Doubting their friendship and everything nice he had ever said to her.

But in his eyes, it was the best thing that could happen to her. Nyx knew that he brought bad luck to the ones he loved. And this time, he wanted to make a difference. This time, he wanted to control Fate like it always controlled him. And if that meant he had to deal with her anger or that she even ended their friendship then, he would live with it.

Much to his dismay, Drautos didn't listen to whatever Nyx came up with without telling him the truth behind his request to switch partners. His captain stuck to his plan and Nyx had to obey…

All this ran through his mind, as Nyx entered his room after they were back from the mission. He was sweaty, dirty and tired but they had lost no one. Not everything had been easy on this mission but at least, Yn was still alive and healthy.

Nyx was just about to take a shower, he already opened the jacket of his uniform, as someone knocked aggressively on his door. As he opened it, Yn stormed into his room. Not her typical, civil manners but Nyx wasn't really surprised. Now, he just had to be careful to say the right things.

"We have to talk.", Yn demanded, stopping in the middle of his room with crossed arms and tapping foot.

"About what?", Nyx asked coldly while closing the door. He avoided her eyes in fear of what he would see. Alone her angry voice let him already regret a few things.

"About today? First of all, why did you try to team up with someone else? You refused to work with me. Why? You never did that before.", Yn asked and waited. She noticed that Nyx stayed in some distance to her, leaning against the wall next to the door. He wasn't even able to look her in the eyes. It was unusual and if she wouldn't be that angry, she might have asked about it.

"I had my reasons.", Nyx just said.

Yn waited but as he stayed silent, she stepped forward, "Oh, yeah? You wanna tell me what reason?"

"No, I don't want.", he said serious.

Surprised, she raised her brows before her face went back to the angry grimace, "Alright, then what was that on the battlefield, huh? Can you talk about that?"

Nyx clenched his jaw together. He was tired from the mission and tired from the countless, sleepless nights. He also feared if he wouldn't watch out, he could say something he might regret later. Obviously, the fight to keep her safe from him was still not over. Maybe Nyx had to be more mean to save her from himself, "I saved your ass. You wanna thank me? Fine. You're welcome.", he said snappishly, finally looking into her eyes. What he saw in them froze his blood. He had never seen her so angry before. Pure hatred stared back at him.

With gleaming eyes, she stepped forward, "I didn't mean to thank you. It's arrogant of you to think I needed your help.", she hissed.

"You trust me, right?", Nyx asked calmly and saw that he took her off balance with this question. Slowly, the anger vanished from her face and almost completely out of her beautiful eyes.

Yn stopped in her moves and stared at him with big eyes, confused about the sudden change, "Su-sure, I do, but-"

"Good. Then, you have your answer. Trust me, I did the right thing. And now, leave me alone.", Nyx said, pushing himself from the wall to pass her.

Yn grabbed his wrist and turned the taller man back to her, "Are you nuts? Are you trying to get killed? The situation was under control and you ran into my line! I almost hit you!", she said. Her voice had changed from anger to concern. And even her eyes were filled with it.

Nyx saw how much she cared about him. She took the actions from the battlefield as something reckless from him. He saw that she feared for his life or what he could do to himself. That was wrong, at least, in some way, "I had to protect you!", he called out, losing his nerves slowly.

Yn's eyes went big by surprise about his sudden outburst before she became serious again. She knew that he thought he had to protect everyone around him but Yn saw it kinda differently, "I didn't need to get protected!", she called out but tried to calm herself because in the end, it was still Nyx, her best friend. Of course, he would watch out for her, "Listen, there was no danger. Everything went like planned. And even if, why do you think you have to save me?", she asked softly.

"Because I god damn love you!", he blurted out, yanking his wrist out of her grasp to turn around. Angry about himself, he raked violantly his fingers through his hair as he realized what he had said.

Yn stood there, staring blankly at Nyx' back while she tried to process what just had happened, "Y-you do- what?", she breathed. Her mind searched for a way to see that as a joke but there was no payoff. Slowly, Yn raised her eyes back at her friend, "You can't do that... You're Nyx... You never love someone. Y-you stay away from any romantically involvement-"

Nyx turned around, staring angrily at her that let her flinch. He saw it but he couldn't change it, "Because I already lost too much!", he hissed.

"Nyx...", Yn said softly, knowing exactly what he meant with his mother’s and sister’s death. He had lost his home. He had lost a lot of things. He was alone and felt maybe even lost. The easiest way was to cage himself.

He shook his head about her calm voice and the soft, loving glance in her eyes. He wasn't allowed to give in, "Alone the thought of losing you gives me nightmares and today, it was pretty close...", he whispered, fighting back tears he wouldn't shed.

Yn stepped forward, reaching out for him, "Nyx, please..."

But Nyx stepped back at the same time to keep the distance. He knew, if he would get touched by her for one second, he would be done and then, there was no way to go back, "Please, just leave.", he whispered.

Yn considered her next step carefully, maybe to give in to his request, but as she saw Nyx' tormented, painful expression, she couldn't leave him alone. She didn't want to leave him alone. So, she ignored his plea and stepped further forward to reach him. Softly, Yn laid her hand on his scruffy cheek, brushing against the small braids in his hair with the tips of her fingers while looking into his perfect blue eyes.

Nyx leant against her touch, closing his eyes while inhaling her warm scent. Alone this small touch let his skin burn in an all consuming fire. He was craving for more and knew at the same time that it would end him and his strong will to resist his wish to be close to her if he would give in.

Tilting her head, Yn smiled about this innocent move from this tough man, "Nyx, you can't block out everyone from your life.", she said softly.

"But I can try.", he whispered.

"But you shouldn't. For what reason should you be all alone?", Yn asked and waited for his reaction. Now, where everything became calmer, she noticed how her heart was racing because of his confession. Without knowing it, Nyx had said the words Yn craved to hear from him.

Slowly, he opened his eyes, meeting her intense glance watching him, ‘God these eyes’, he thought. They were haunting him day and night and he wished he could see a love-filled glance in them that would be reserved just for him. At least, for once, "It could save lives. It could save your life."

Yn chuckled softly, "I'm pretty good at watching out for myself. Always have, always will. Don't worry about that.", Yn said reassuringly, "That shouldn't stop you from getting what you really want."

Nyx snorted low about her confidence and shook his head with a smirk. Slowly, he snaked his arms loosely around her waist as he noticed that his neatly built wall started to crumble slowly, "You're so extremely persistent.", he whispered.

Yn snaked her arms around his neck, raising her head to keep eye contact, "Of course, I am. You're so damn handsome and perfect, Nyx. I always thought I would never have a chance with you. That we would be just friends. And then you drop this confession? Count on it that I would fight for this opportunity to get close to you.", she said with a smile.

Steadily, Nyx dragged her closer to his body, tossing his doubts and concerns slowly overboard after her words, "You mean close like this?", he whispered smirking, enjoying having her in his arms finally.

Yn matched his smirk and pulled him down, closer to her, "Actually, I mean close like this.", she breathed and connected their lips. Both relished in the pleasure to feel each other. Yn shuddered as she felt Nyx' warm, strong hands sliding underneath her shirt. He caressed her skin with his fingers and nails as he dug into her back, pulling her as close as possible.

Blissfully goosebumps spread down Nyx' spine as Yn tickled his neck with her nails. Softly, she let her fingers slide into his black-greyish, long strands, playing with the braids that granted her deep, throaty moans from the hero. She smirked against his lips about his reaction. To know to have this kind of impact on such an incredible man, turned her on even more…

A knock on the door let them both freeze in their moves but as Yn tried to escape his grip, Nyx held her strong in his embrace and shook his head slowly with a smirk. His breath was uneven and his heart was racing but his training as a Glaive allowed him to keep his composure. Still staring into Yn's hungry eyes, he answered: "What is it?", his eyes flickered down to her slightly swollen lips.

Provokingly, Yn licked over her lips with her tongue as she saw his dark, lust filled glance.

"Nyx... Drautos wanna see us all.", Crowe called through the closed door.

"Alright, I will be there in ten.", Nyx called back, letting his eyes roam over Yn's face, already having certain ideas in his mind how the night would continue when they were alone again.

"One more thing... uhm... I can't find Yn. Do you know where she could be?", Crowe asked and even through the door, Yn and Nyx imagined her frowning where their friend was. Yn raised one brow questioningly about how Nyx would answer.

"Sorry, I haven't seen her since we're back. But maybe she's at the training ground. Letting off some steam."

"Okay, I'll go and get her. Thanks.", Crowe called back and left.

"Letting off some steam, huh? Quite the opposite, I would say.", Yn breathed seductively against his lips.

"True, but that gives us a few more minutes for this. A foretaste for later.", Nyx breathed, matching her tone, and crashed his lips hungrily back on Yn's to feel her close again. More than willingly, she moved with him. Pulling him even closer with her hands grabbing the fabric of the shirt underneath his jacket, feeling his body reacting to her touch.

And just like this, Nyx’ sleepless nights filled with nightmares got exchanged with another type of sleepless nights… shared with Yn…

[bgn846]

I Got It Covered, Trust Me - FFXV FIC

 Summary:            

Gladio decides Iris' new boyfriend has to go, he's an idiot. Iris doesn't agree. Gladio takes matters into his own hands and invites them both over for dinner, and a little chat. What could possibly go wrong?

Notes:    

I had a great time doing a little collab with Blackchocomuffin for this piece. Please, go check out their awesome art of Gladio being a good overprotective brother.    ART,

TW: For animal blood on an apron.

Work Text:          

The one thing Gladio didn’t take into account was Prompto freaking out. He was covered in blood, so he shouldn’t have been too surprised by the reaction. However, what Gladio didn’t foresee was having to explain everything to Ignis, since he couldn’t see what Prompto was going on about.

“What do you mean he’s bleeding?” Ignis exclaimed rushing forward to try and touch him.

“I’m fine Iggy, babe trust me it’s not even my blood.”

Prompto decided now would be a good time to tell Ignis, in great detail, what he looked like. This did not go well. Namely, because Gladio had decided that Iris’ latest boyfriend needed to go, and his bloodied appearance was directly linked to that.

“First off he’s wearing an apron?” Prompto questioned as he announced it to Ignis like that would instantly explain things. “And it’s covered in blood and what is with the knife big guy? It looks like you murdered someone!” Prompto asked with concern.

“Will someone please tell me what the hell is going on? Do I need to fetch a medic?” Ignis asked, his voice rising higher and higher by the second.

Gladio wanted to pull his partner into a hug, but being covered in blood prevented that action. Guess he’d have to fess up. Gladio was doing so well on his little mini-mission and then Prompto had to swing by unexpectedly.

“Listen, the both of you, just let me explain. I’m uninjured; this is leftover blood from the recent kill at the hunter’s guild.” Gladio paused for a moment when Ignis’ handsome face adopted a very bizarre expression. When the man didn’t say anything Gladio continued. “I’m going to, to, um,” and this is when the sheer stupidness of his idea hit Gladio. He was trying to scare his little sister’s boyfriend so he’d go away. Gods, he was an asshole.  “Er, uh, shit, you’re both gonna say I’m a total jerk, but this is to scare off Todd.”

“Oh,” was all Prompto uttered.

“Todd, as in Iris’ new boyfriend, Todd?” Ignis clarified.

“Yep, that’s the one.”

“Why may I ask, have you decided that Todd must go?” Ignis queried.

“Okay, in Gladio’s defense Todd is an idiot.” Prompto chimed in with a thoughtful look. “He thinks corn and flour tortillas are the same thing. That’s weird.”

Surprised to hear Prompto throw Todd under the bus, Gladio had renewed hope in his plan. “Iggy, all I wanna do is have Todd see me like this so he’ll get freaked and leave Iris alone.”

“What if your plan doesn’t work? What then? I’m not sure Todd seeing you,” Ignis paused and waved his hand around nondescriptly. “As Prompto described you will do anything.”  

“Yeah, well, I’ll just have to tie him up and put him in my trunk for a night. He’ll get lost after that for sure.”

“Prompto I can’t tell, is he joking? I fear he’s being serious,” Ignis sighed trying to remain calm.

“Why the apron?” Prompto asked instead.

“Oh! Well, Iris wanted me to officially meet Todd so I told her to bring him over for dinner tonight. The thing is Iggy wasn’t going to know what I looked like, so he could remain innocent when Iris yells at me later.”

“Oh damn, did I screw things up by swinging by?” Prompto queried.

“Aside from destroying Iggy’s alibi, it’s not a big deal Prom.”

“Wait, I’m still lost over here, you are wearing an apron that has been covered in blood? Correct?”

“Yeah, and I’ve got some on my face too to match.”

“Six save me, that’s why you didn’t give me a kiss when you got back earlier. You were trying to spare me from getting dirty.”

“Right, so are we all on board for scaring the shit outta Todd?”

“I can’t imagine this young man is so bad. Though, I’ve never personally met him.”

“He’s not the brightest bulb in the box Iggy,” Prompto admitted. “Did I mention that his brother is a flat eoser? I mean come on that’s terrible enough.”

“Excuse me, he’s a what?”

“No, not him, his brother. You know a flat esoer, someone who thinks the eos is flat.”

Ignis licked his lips and opened his mouth to speak but gave up after a moment.

“So yeah I’ve got maybe twenty more minutes to get real dinner started so I’m a believable cook when they get here,” Gladio supplied quickly.

“Are you not going to explain anything when they arrive?” Prompto asked with a small smile. “How do you see this going?”

“I’m hoping Todd will give me a look that says he’s scared for his life and then I’ll probably make some sorta comment about Iris’ last boyfriend being a troublemaker, and that I took care of em’.”

“And you both claim Todd is an idiot,” Ignis grumbled as he shuffled away to find the couch and sit down.

“Seriously he is! That is why I’m doing this.”

“Do be careful Gladio, she may try and date his brother in retaliation.”

“Nah, Iris wouldn’t do that, she’s too smart for that.”

“At least one of the Amicitia siblings has their parent’s wits.”

Prompto barked out a laugh before Gladio could respond. “Guess I should head out so you can get prepared.  I want to hear all the little details. Ignis, let me know how hard Iris hits Gladio. I know you’ll be able to tell based on the sound.”

Ignis gave Prompto a nod signaling he’d heard and went back to using his phone, listening to the daily reports from the marshal. As quickly as Prompto had arrived he was gone, off to find some of the glaive to relax for the night. They’d all had a busy day and it was time to unwind. Unless as in Gladio’s case, he was attempting to not alienate his litter sister or upset his own boyfriend. It was a fine line he was treading.

--

Time flew after Prompto left, and Gladio soon found that he was not only covered in blood but cooking stains as well. At least they’d have a good dinner, or Ignis would if Iris killed him before they ate. The tall tale sound of footsteps approaching meant the moment of truth had arrived. Grabbing his large carving knife complete with dried blood covering every inch, he waited to hear a knock before he answered.

However, when he shuffled out of their tiny kitchen towards the door Ignis was already standing and waving him back. “Allow me, your reveal will be better from the kitchen,” he whispered while waiting near the door.

Unable to keep the grin from his face Gladio leaned forward and gave Ignis a quick kiss on the lips. “Thanks, babe, you’re the best!” he offered in a hushed tone before retreating back to his spot by the stove.

Ignis merely shook his head and put on his best ‘I know nothing’ face when someone knocked. Iris’ voice rang out a second later announcing their arrival, his little sister was always mindful of Ignis not being able to use the peephole in the door. Forced to turn away from the door Gladio took a deep breath and waited.

“Lovely to hear you again Iris,” Ignis offered easily to which the younger Amicitia laughed brightly. “Ah yes, this must be who we are here to meet, Todd correct?”

A low voice answered, but not loud enough for Gladio to hear well.

“Do come in and make yourself at home, Gladio’s been busy in the kitchen all evening,” Ignis supplied before closing the door.

Thinking of how his dad might have reacted to meeting one of Iris’ boyfriends, Gladio put on his best impression of their late father and spun around to meet Iris and Todd. “So this is the young man you’ve been so enamored with, huh?” Gladio stated before frowning. “I do hope you treat my sister well, she’s a very special lady.”

  Nothing but silence filled the room when he finished talking. Iris was looking at him like she wanted to throttle him and Todd; well Todd was just not paying attention. The little shit. The moment he fully turned around to see the rest of the apartment behind him Iris stepped forward and punched Gladio in the arm, hard. Training with Cor was paying off; Iris had a mean right hook.

“Uh, do you need help with anything?” Todd asked with a blank look when he focused again. “I didn’t realize you got so into cooking, you’re like covered, in, um, lots of stuff.”

“Blood, Todd, I’m covered in blood,” Gladio deadpanned in a moment of anger.

“Are we having meat? Oh, I thought Iris told you, I’m a vegan.”  

“What?” Gladio asked in confusion. How the hell had this kid not noticed that this was an overly excessive amount of blood to be covered in. Even for cooking.

“You know like someone who doesn’t eat meat or dairy products. Plant-based only.”

“How?” This was bad, this was very bad. Gladio was so thrown off he couldn’t even speak full sentences anymore.

“Oh, uh, I grow a lot of my own food but it’s like really hard and sometimes I don’t eat enough. I mean it’s so dark out all the time, and it’s hard to gro--.”

Gladio had already tuned Todd out, this little brat didn’t even know what it was like to eat meat, let alone butcher it. That, he hadn’t taken into account. This didn’t mean Todd was dumb though, just massively out of the loop. Still, he thought he’d managed to at least look like a horror movie villain. Maybe Todd didn’t watch scary movies either?

“—like that’s how I usually do it, but it’s hard to find tofu sometimes, but I can make fake chicken with flour and that’s not bad. Uh, when are we eating, I have to stick to a strict schedule otherwise my body gets out of whack,” Todd finished with an expectant look.

Sweet shiva, Gladio was starting to seriously consider his options for actually doing away with Todd. Fine, he doesn’t eat meat, but he could at least not be an asshole about it! “Dinner should be ready soon, why don’t you go help Ignis with the wine.”

“I only drink wines that haven’t been aged in wood; do you have anything like that?”

Gladio couldn’t even form words; this guy was a piece of work. Thankfully, Ignis was ready to field that request. His partner guided Todd away towards their modest wine rack to select something. Gladio already knew they didn’t have what Todd wanted. They had nothing Todd wanted. His garula steak pasta sauce paired with egg pasta wasn’t vegan. The bread rolls with cheese baked in most definitely weren’t. Though, why did he care, the little shit could starve, he wasn’t here to make Todd happy! He was trying to make him go away.

The second Todd stepped away with Ignis, Iris got close and promptly kicked him in the shin. Biting back a yell Gladio limped back into the kitchen space. “He’s an idiot!” Gladio hissed under his breath.

“He’s my idiot!” Iris whisper shouted back.

“Can’t you select a different one? He’s sorta rude.”

“I can’t believe you, trying to scare him like this.”

“Well, it didn’t work! See, he’s an idiot!” Gladio huffed excitedly.

“No, he’s not,” Iris growled lowly.

“I look like I mur—Did you two find a good wine?” Gladio asked cheerily when Todd came back over holding a bottle.

“Not sure, the label on this one is too faded for me to tell if it’s been aged in wood barrels or not. I won’t drink it because it’s like cruelty against trees and all. Ignis said there might be a magnifying glass over here for me to try and read the label better?”

“Excuse me? What about trees?” Gladio was well out of his element with this kid, he wasn’t an idiot he was just plain weird. “I don’t think they fe--.”

“I know where there is one!” Iris interjected, “One sec baby let me grab it for you.”

Baby!? Dear lord his little sister was calling this tool bag baby. The world had officially ended. Gladio nearly threw up in his mouth when Todd repeated the name back to Iris. He almost didn’t catch the barely concealed snort from Ignis across the room. Damn him, at least he was having fun.

--

Dinner was a disaster. The more Gladio worked to fluster Todd, the more Iris would fawn over him. Figures, she’d act that way, she was doing this out of spite, he was sure of it. Ignis on the other hand was having the time of his life. When Todd started talking about conspiracy theories, Ignis, who knew every little thing there is to know, easily debunked each and every one.

As the night crawled on, Gladio realized Todd was getting drunk. The kid had only been able to eat the small salad they’d made. He’d declined the dressing since that wasn’t the right way to eat greens. Something about being respectful to their natural state and covering them in oil and vinegar was a huge mistake. This of course made Gladio smother his salad in dressing, just to see if he could elicit a reaction out of the tool bag.

It didn’t work.

Nothing was working, Todd was terrible, but Iris wasn’t going to dump him, he’d failed his mission. However, right when Gladio thought all hope was lost, Todd opened his mouth and proceeded to stick his foot in it. Guess getting drunk had made him a little loose-lipped.

“Gladio,” Todd announced seriously, “You should tell Iris to be careful when she fights. I keep telling her that she won’t look good with battle scars.”

“Sometimes you have no choice but to take up arms buddy, it’s the way things are nowadays,” Gladio answered meaningfully. “We’ve sworn an oath to protect the people and that may come at a cost.”

“Yeah, yeah, but like for Iris specifically, she shouldn’t fight, it’s not right.”

“What?” Gladio and Iris asked in unison.

“Baby, hear me out, I like you and all but like you can’t keep fighting, what if you get scars like your brother? You won’t be pretty anymore.”

The deathly silence that followed Todd’s proclamation was the best thing Gladio had heard all night. Maybe things were turning around after all. Todd wasn’t an idiot. He was a duche bag. Even better!

--

Iris had cried a few times since Ignis had asked Todd to leave after his comment. Something about having an angry blind man remove his visor, and pointedly stare at you left little room for argument. Ignis’ bold move had done more than Gladio’s bloodied apron had even come close to achieving. Todd’s utter look of fear at being singled out was a thing of pure joy to behold. Gladio didn’t like that it came at the expense of his sister's feelings, but Todd needed to go.

“Is he blind?! Sorry Ignis but I’m still in shock,” Iris lamented. “I mean you both clearly have visible scars, why would he say something so, so rude.”

“He’s a douche bag, that’s why!” Gladio cut in.

“It’s alright, that wine he drank had been aged in an oak barrel for at least fifteen years. He had to go on my word that it hadn’t been,” Ignis added calmly.

“You lied to him?” Gladio asked with a smile.

“I may have fibbed; I can’t be expected to keep all my wine bottles straight. I’m unable to read any of the labels personally so I can’t really be blamed.”

“Who doesn’t use dressing on salad, that’s stupid,” Iris mumbled a second later.

“I knew you’d come around! Come on let us find you a nice normal boy to date. Iggy and I will invite them over for a nice din--.”

“NO! No, no, no I’m fine. Gladio you stay outta my business,” Iris cut in, though she was smiling a little.

Laughing loudly Gladio pulled Iris over, nearly toppling her chair, for a proper hug. “Okay truce, I won’t go actively hunting for a boyfriend for you, but can you at least trust us when we tell you they might be an idiot?”

“Maybe, just don’t do the bloodied apron knife thing again, that was awful.”

“What did he look like? I’ve had Prompto describe his look but I’d like to hear it from you, if I may.”

Iris happily obliged and described all of Gladio’s elaborate planning, down to the black trash bags on the counter with a sticky label on them that read ‘Todd’. Prompto hadn’t noticed those.

By the time she’d finished and they’d cleaned up everything Gladio decided he could break out dessert. No reason to waste his efforts. Iris merely rolled her eyes when he took out a plate of simple sugar cookies that he’d decorated with little radioactive symbols. “What?! It was a backup plan in case Todd hadn’t figured out things.”

“Ignis, he’s made cookies with the hazardous symbol all over them. Do you think we are safe to eat them?”

“Oh that’s what you were doing,” Ignis exclaimed with a smile. “Yes, they should be palatable. I helped with those. I didn’t realize what Gladio intended to use them for. He added the decoration afterward, I believe.”

“You are such a dork Gladio. Thanks for looking out for me though.”

“Anytime Iris, Iggy, and I are here for ya no matter what.”

Iris leaned over and gave him another hug. “Sounds good, but there is one thing I gotta know,” pausing she pulled away. “Where the hell did you get all that blood?!”

[chibi-jing]

Somnus makes a better King than Ardyn

Yes. You’ve read me well.

Ok, so now that your heart is broken as much as mine, let me explain…

 As a human being, Ardyn disposes of qualities nobler than his brother: he’s devoted, humble, unselfish, kind-hearted and empathetic. He puts the sake of each individual before his and grants to each life an immeasurable value. He prefers to heal rather than destroy, and to educate rather than condemn.

There are multiple examples illustrating his personality traits in the anime: first, Ardyn’s infection by darkness. He’s perfectly aware of his sickness but he continues his duty nonetheless, even if it has to keep him away from his lover, Aera. Second, when talking to his people, he explains to them that the Starscourge is a disease that can be healed. He believes that the way to defeat darkness is to unite people against it, not ostracizing the ones who are sick. He also proposes a deal to his brother to spare his life rather than having to kill him when they fight. Then, even if his people consider him as a king, Ardyn has no intention whatsoever to rule. Since he have the sense of responsability he’d become king if the others require it but mainly because it would allow him to help more people, not for power in itself. Ardyn keeps this characteristic until the end of FFXV where he sits the throne during 10 years but never uses it to reign.

.

On the other hand, there is Somnus. Compared to Ardyn, he’s certainly not empathetic and unselfish, but these qualities are replaced by other ones: instead of giving to each life an immeasurable value, Somnus thinks more in term of greater good. If you have to kill a dozen to save an entire country, Somnus will be the one doing it. He’s also charismatic, determined, ambitious, skilled in combat and can keep a cool head in any circumstances.

In the anime, he’s in a strong position: it’s him who commands the army, who lives in the castle and people obey to him, whether he’s ordering them to burn their peers or when he's inviting them to the coronation. He can do what he has to do because people are listening to him, and if it’s not the case he uses his soldiers to obtain what he wants. Somnus doesn’t even bat an eye when he fights and kills Ardyn, only focused on the way to succeed, giving more attention to his goal rather than his feelings.

  If you’d ask me to choose between the two brothers, I would have no hesitation at all and definitely jump into Ardyn’s arms. It’s also what Aera should have think: even if Ardyn’s situation is complicated and dangerous, being in company of such a pure soul is priceless. But.

  But the gods aren’t supposed to choose the best human being. They have to choose a king. And as much as I love Ardyn, I have to admit that in this situation Somnus is a better candidate.

.

We commonly imagine that to be a good king (or queen), you have to be a kind person who listens to his citizens and tries his best to take care of all of them. This is what we wish, we expect our rulers to understand us and give us what we want to live an happy life. But it isn’t what a king is supposed to be in reality. A king isn’t supposed to give us what we want, but what we need. A king is a symbol used to unite the people, he has to appear strong and be strong. A king is the leader of a country, someone to rely on and trust when he has to provide security. A king has to maintain order in his kingdom and has to take the right decisions to make it prosper. A king has to be reassuring and able to take difficult decisions for the greater good.

As Regis says himself at the beginning of Episode Ignis: "A king cannot lead by standing still. A king pushes onward always, accepting the consequences and never looking back" and in French: « When you’re a king, you must be able to advance in adversity. And this, whatever the sacrifices. You have to go on without ever stopping ». And in fact you can see in Kingsglaive that Regis is perfectly aware about what’s going to happen in Insomnia, but even if it frustrates him, he took the decision to let Iedolas and Ardyn destroy the city because he knew it was the only way to give a chance to Noctis. And Regis didn’t acted this way only because Noctis is his son, if he saved him it’s primarily because he’s the Chosen King and the only one able to save Eos.

  Regarding the two brothers now it’s obvious that Somnus fits the role, but not Ardyn.

  Somnus completely corresponds to Regis’ description: he’s taking decisions for the greater good regardless of the sacrifices and accepting the consequences of his actions. He’s also a natural-born leader, able to gather people under his banner and inspiring them. He’s winning the people confidence by being self-assured and a good speaker in public. He’s intransigent and always have the final word, but he also does whatever has to be done to succeed like in Kingsglaive when he allows Nyx to use the Ring’s power. The risk with this kind of profile is for the ruler to turn from a king to a dictator, but Somnus isn’t presented as having bad intentions. According to SE Q&A about the anime, Somnus simply wants to eradicate darkness, whatever the cost. That’s why he needs the power: to take action.

 On the opposite if Ardyn’s qualities make him a saint, they definitely are insufficient to be a good king according to the definition FFXV gives us about this role.

Unlike Somnus, Ardyn doesn’t inspire naturally the admiration of his person: during all the anime, he seems tired, sad and dirty. Even with Aera, Ardyn still looks like he’s living his life through someone else’s eye. His devotion to his people is slowly killing him, wether it be his soul or his body. And that’s a major problem: how can someone pretend to rule a kingdom while being sick? From the gods’ point of view, even if they close their eyes on the corruption inside Ardyn’s body, it would be stupid to choose a sick man to embody the strength of a king. As the anime shows us, Ardyn’s disease is a strong disadvantage during his fight against Somnus, giving his brother the upper hand on him.

In addition, Ardyn doesn’t have the will to rule. He would do it if he had to and I’m sure he would do his best to take the right decisions, but it’s simply not in his nature. Even in FFXV, he prefers to remain in the Emperor’s shadow rather than being exposed.

Moreover – and it’s really painful for me to acknowledge it – Ardyn’s method to fight darkness isn’t enough. As the old man tells him: "But even with your curative powers, you can’t save everyone". That’s absolutely true. Eos is big and Ardyn is alone. The darkness spreads faster than he’s healing people. Unless someone else could have the same ability as him or some kind of medicine to stop the Starscourge, Somnus’ drastic solution will unfortunally remain the most efficient of the two.

For what we know, Ardyn works alone. He probably has supporters all around the country, but he’s not surrounded by an escort for his travels while Somnus has been able to surround himself with precious allies such as Gilgamesh. A king can’t rule alone, he needs some trustworthy and competent persons, something Somnus fully understood.

The way Ardyn is helping people is compassionate and altruistic, he’s considering them as human beings and not as pawns on a chessboard, which is his biggest quality and weakness: a king can’t have a case-by-case approach, he has to consider the overview. Also, it is better for a king to be respected rather than be loved. With his policy, Somnus is respected and even if some people disagree, they will follow him. For his part, Ardyn is absolutely loved by his people and they don’t follow him because he’s charismatic or powerful, they’re following him because they know he’s a fair and good man who can rescue them. Ardyn’s supporters have surely a stronger dedication to him compared to Somnus’ ones, but they are fewer, because Ardyn is acting at a human scale while Somnus is thinking at a country level.

  That’s why I believe that for all these reasons, Somnus was indeed a better choice. Ardyn is exceptional and a true hero, but he doesn’t fit the job. And that’s a real tragedy because Ardyn never wanted to be king to begin with! If Somnus didn’t wished to get rid of him, Ardyn could have lived a peaceful life with Aera without facing his brother’s betrayal. But something happened, something that isn’t in the anime and I hope will be in the DLC, something that broke up the brothers and gave them no other choice but to fight each other. Maybe Somnus discovered Ardyn’s infection by darkness? Maybe Ardyn was turning people against Somnus? For now we have no idea about it, and I’m dying to know the bottom of this!

 - - -

I was thinking...in fact, Ardyn would be a perfect Hufflepuff while Somnus would definitely be a Slytherin.

It works also with Assassin’s Creed: Ardyn would be an Assassin and Somnus a Templar…

And yes, I love Hufflepuff ^^

[sachinighte]

Tagged by the wonderful @uintuva, here you go darling <3

AO3 name: Memories_of_the_Shadows

Fandoms: Naruto, One Piece, Sailor Moon, Dragon Age, Harry Potter, MCU, Hannibal, NCIS, Criminal Minds, Stargate, Bleach, YYH, Inuyasha, Ken Akamatsu universe, FFXV, Hellsing, Underworld, BTVS, RWBY, Teen Wolf, YOI!, Voltron, BNHA, Pokemon (these are in no particular order and I tend to vacillate between them at random times. More will almost certainly pop up and I’m positive I forgot a few)

Number of fics: 80 (published)

1. Fic I spent the most time on: And Now I See The Sunrise: my Isaribi/Hinata sentinel/guide fic which I adore

2. Fic I spent the least time on: oh, god, I’ve been writing for years and I used to specialize in drabbles. I have no idea but it was probably one of my shorter ones

3. Longest fic: Philomel’s Lullaby: which is abandoned and terrible but still counts I guess

4. Shortest fic: Mikata: because I’m not going to count my terrible teenage poetry

5. Most hits: The Apple Now Is Sweet: you heathens. (Link is NSFW, click at your risk)

6. Most kudos: Don’t Ask Why It Works, It Just Does: which, fair, I’m also pretty proud of that one

7. Most comment threads: Again, it’s Don’t Ask Why It Works, It Just Does

8. Favourite fic I wrote: I have to choose!? Agggh, idk, probably Alive and Burning Brighter (my rule 63!Tony Stark), or And Till They’ve Seen The Light (my rift stabbing da crackfic), or And Now I’ve Seen The Sunrise (since I gave it to myself for my wedding, I sure hope I love it XD)

9. Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: Ack, okay, I know I only ever post finished work, and it is finished so I won’t do this, but probably Just A Dream? I just love it but I feel like I could do better. And I did start a sequel for it but I couldn’t get through it.

10. Share a bit of a WIP or a story idea you’re planning on: Hah, you asked for it, here’s a bit from my massive Cullanders magnum opus that keeps growing and growing because these two are just made for angst (also, yes, I write in html, it makes publishing on ao3 easier for me):

“I’m sorry. It’s been difficult to leave the Gallows with all the upheaval. The Knight-Commander has become… more demanding of my time as well.” Cullen sighs heavily, then grimaces, his hand moving towards his chest before aborting the movement. Anders is uncomfortably aware of the many different ways people try to hide pain and equally aware of how difficult that can be. He doesn’t want to sympathize with a Templar, but Cullen would likely be more gracious about any healing than Fenris ever is. It might be okay. If Cullen really is hurt. “I fear… it’s not… in any case, things will have to come to a head soon enough. Neither the Grand Enchanter nor Meredith are willing to back down and, well, there is no one in the Gallows who is unaware of how precarious the situation is.”

Oh, Anders knows. For every mage he helps to escape there are three more that he cannot get to because the Templars come for them too soon, without warning. No one is safe. (And Anders sits here with one of the perpetrators practically <i>itching</i> to heal him. Void take him, he hates himself some days.) “So Hawke says as well,” he says instead, guardedly.

Cullen shoots him a look that is far too wry and knowing for Anders’ comfort but he doesn’t comment beyond a small grin, a cocked eyebrow. So Cullen has guessed who it is that is sneaking mages out through the basement tunnels. Maybe he isn’t as dumb as he looks. <I>And</I> he doesn’t seem inclined to say anything about it.

Maybe, just maybe, there is at least one Templar who Anders can trust farther than he can throw them without magic or Justice.

“You’re stiff,” he offers, instead of dwelling on such a revelation, something so counter to everything he has known since he was a child. “Let me see.” Cullen sighs, shaking his head.

“People would notice if I was healed, thank you though. It’s just… a training accident,” he says as though he doesn’t believe that it <i>was</I> an accident, although Anders will grant that it did probably happen during training. And with Cullen himself letting Anders off the hook for healing, that should be the end of it. He should let this go and revel in the fact that Cullen is uncomfortable and will stay that way for as long as the stubborn arse will take to heal.

“Just tell them you bribed one of the mages,” he says instead. It’s a plausible enough story--every Circle he’s ever heard of has those who do it, although Anders is fairly sure Cullen isn’t one of the ones who would--and one that most Templars will accept even if it’s scornfully. (Anders remembers a time when he was the one getting bribed, though he was threatened more often than not rather than bribed. Anders had come to the conclusion very early on in his studies that he wouldn’t willingly heal Templars unless he had a very good reason and a laxer curfew, more candles or blankets, or someone ignoring a dalliance simply aren’t good enough. He remembers Flora was vastly more popular with the Templars as a result. Anders couldn’t have cared less.)

Cullen groans a bit, that aborted move to hug himself appearing once more, and sighes. “Fine. You’re right. Just because I can’t afford the downtime right now, not with the entire city like an overfilled flour mill with some young idiot striking a flint in the middle of it.”

Anders stifles a laugh. Cullen normally gives Fenris a run for his silent and broody money, or is shyer and more bashful--though similarly, and <I>constantly</I>, offended--than Velanna whenever he or one of the Rose’s workers brings up something particularly crude. But every once in a while he shows his Ferelden farmboy side and Anders can almost forget that Cullen is everything he hates.

The wound is red with the start of an infection and poorly wrapped. Luckily, it was only a glancing blow, shallow enough that once Anders cleans it out and heals what he can it won’t even scar. Justice howls in anger at the edge of Anders’ perception and Anders mentally shoves him away.

“They should teach you how to field dress injuries in training, not magic you can’t even use,” he says lowly, maybe to distract from how warm Cullen’s skin feels under his fingers, from the wiry dusting of golden curls on his chest. Anders is surprised every time by how <I>human</I> Templars are. He probably shouldn’t be. Cullen sighes and pulls away.

“I don’t disagree that field dressing would be useful,” he says. Anders wants to get angry, wants to <i>want to</I> fight, but really, he’s just tired. Tired of political statements, of this arrangement they have, of still having to fear for his life and sanity. Anders didn’t ask to be born with magic. Nobody but the worst blood mages do.

(He’s seen a few of them, people who make deals with demons for magic because what they really want is <i>power</I> and they all think they will get away with it. Unscrupulous and bold, every single one of them think that they’ll be able to stop once they get the one thing they want, but there’s always another thing on the horizon that only blood magic and more deals can help with. All of them were caught eventually, and grouped with mages who have never done a single harm in their entire lives. Legions of power-hungry blood mages who thought nothing of selling another person into death or worse for the sake of fleeting dreams of power. And for what? A moment in time that they could try to satiate their greed. Is it any wonder that it’s mostly nobles who end up taking that path to power?)

“It’s done,” he says, instead of replying, instead of the rant that Justice is beating into his temples. Anders turns away and starts to gather up his things when Cullen blushes and touches his side.

“Thank you, Anders,” Cullen says softly, and it sounds so sincere that Anders has to leave without saying anything else at all. He needs to remember that Cullen is a Templar.

Not someone sweet and sincere, who blushes easily and listens well. Just a Templar. He’ll show his true colors soon enough. Five years is nothing against a lifetime of proof.

Ah, sh*t, I tag whoever would like to do this?

[heartlessfujoshi]

Title: ‘Break Me’ Fandom: FFXV Pairing: Cornis (Ignis Scientia x Cor Leonis) Rating: Mature (NSFW - Gags - Oral - Sex - Lots of sex)  Word Count: ~3505 Prompt: “You’re really drunk right now. I don’t think you want to do this.” 

Summary:  Ignis is stuck in Altissia on his twenty-first birthday, traveling with the King and his entourage. He heads to a bar where he decides to drink his sorrows away, until Cor shows up. Then he makes a suggestion that he expects to be met with a ‘no’, but turns out to be very different. 

A/N: It’s Ignis’ birthday! :D I wanted to celebrate by writing something I’ve never really explored before. Please enjoy! 

***

No twenty-one year old should be celebrating their birthday away from home, and on a work trip, but here Ignis is doing just that. Per the request of the King, he’s made the journey with Regis, his right hand Clarus Amicitia, and Cor Leonis. He expects this trip to be one that will teach him what he’s going to have to do in the future for Noctis, but for it to happen when he’s celebrating what some consider a milestone birthday in Insomnia, he’s a little down about it. Any other person celebrating their twenty-first birthday would be out at a bar, hanging out with their friends. Making memories in a way that would be a normal lifestyle. 

Ignis’ lifestyle, however, is anything but normal. Thrust into this position at the age of six, he knew that his life would always revolve around the King’s son, Noctis Lucis Caelum, and normally he doesn’t care. But this birthday, he feels a bit put off by it. Perhaps it’s because he’s so far away from his friends that makes this birthday feel particularly awful. The scenery should alleviate some of those annoyances, as their trip has taken them to Altissia - tucked away around a wall of water that surrounds them on all sides, but it doesn’t. All Ignis can think about is when Gladio had turned this age, and how they had stayed out all night, Ignis watching Gladio get drunker with each hour that passed, and then wound up back at his place, helping him as Gladio prayed to the porcelain god for relief for his alcohol poisoning. It’s a right of passage - one he won’t get to experience because of his duty to the crown.

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