it really rubs me the wrong way when people say things about how cis women should just date trans men because they see us as a safer alternative to cis men. because the thing is, cis women being with trans men instead of cis men doesn’t eliminate the unsafe power dynamic the way they often act like it does;
the dynamic is just flipped.
generally speaking, a trans man isn’t any safer in a relationship with a cis woman than that cis woman would be in a relationship with a cis man. it just feels like a safer dynamic if you’re the cis woman because suddenly you’ve become the one with the privilege, and if you’re not used to being the one with privilege in a relationship you might not even think to ask how safe the other person is.
the reality is, the reason that relationship feels safer to you is the same reason it’s not safe for us — we’re safer for you because we don’t have the same privilege as a cis man, and we also don’t have the same privilege as you. when you date us because we’re safer, you’re dating us because we have less power.
that’s not to say cis women should never date trans men, or that it’s bad to seek out trans men if you don’t feel safe in relationships with cis men. but you have to recognize the power dynamic you’re opting into — you have to realize that you’re not going into a relationship that’s safer overall, you’re just going into one that’s safer for you. you have to be prepared for the person you’re interested in to have all the same fears and reservations about you that you had about cis men.
and most importantly, you have to actually put the work into being a safe person; you have to put effort into unlearning transphobia overall, especially into unlearning anti-transmasculinity, and you have to do it before you start seeking out trans men.
i’m very familiar at this point in my life with how unsafe relationships with cis women can be for trans men, romantic or otherwise, and i know most other trans men have probably had similar experiences to mine. we know very well that you might not be safe; we need you to know that, and we need you to care enough about us to make yourself safe.
us being “safer” for you isn’t just a nice benefit for you, it’s a direct result of the fact that we are oppressed and that you hold power over us. if you’re going to seek us out for your safety, know what that really means.
3K notes
·
View notes
persona misogyny is so fucking wild. ignoring literally everything else about the entire rest of the games, every single s.link with a female character is like “entirely for having been born a woman i have had to work twice as hard for a fraction of the benefit. even now, i am stripped of my agency in a position i never wanted in the first place” and/or “i’m put on a pedestal by the people in my life because of my looks. men see me as an object to be conquered, women hate me for ‘stealing’ ‘their’ men. if i’m withdrawn i’m a bitch, if i’m friendly i’m easy. because of this, i’m alone” and/or “because of my personality or hobby or lack of cooking skills, i feel like i’m failing at femininity. if being a woman is something i can fail at, then where does that leave me? i’m scared at the loss of my identity and place in society”
like very consistently they present female characters with complex thoughts towards their place in society as women, femininity as a whole, and facing issues stemming from misogyny, and then the payoff is always “my problems were entirely my own fault. i wasn’t strong enough, i was a coward. but now, i’m gonna work hard to be exactly what society expects me to be (which is what i want to be)! i’m gonna do better at femininity (which is still something tangible i can fail at)! i’m going to try hard at making friends (which was my fault for not doing)! all my problems are solved through personal responsibility (that im totally culpable for), effort (which i previously was not putting in), or you, a man! i am Happy and Satisfied with this outcome, can i be Your woman?”
and like hello? why are we here. what the fuck are we doing. why do we keep doing this every single time. can we not do the constant lukewarm attempts at criticizing misogyny so you can jerk off to your own thoughtfulness, while ultimately reinforcing patriarchal systems and brushing off any deeper misogyny-bred issues as a lack of deference to one’s rightful place in society? like maybe don’t do that? for fucking once? just an idea
395 notes
·
View notes
being inspired by dungeon meshi to think about bugs is valid because thinking about fictional food is always fun.
like i always thought it was vaguely funny that Bugarians don't eat meat, but there is also a decently large population of living plants. like, is their herbivorism a moral, cultural, or biological thing? like is zasp aware that he's a carnivore, for example, because wasp?
would Bugarians eat mosscreeps? would they be ok with it if they did not know that mosscreeps are like, little animals?
are seedlings and their like partially bugs or are they more like ambulatory plants?
and then theres the Hallownest folks, who seem to have little qualms about eating even sentient bugs- altho sometimes I wonder if that little "cannibalism" thing is a little overstated since a.) the hunter's journal may not be the best representation of Hallownest atittudes about sentient bug consumption, and b.) the dire situation of the City of Tears during the infection might have lead them to drastic measures.
then again, Willoh considered eating Ghost (and the corpse above her alcove was afraid of being eaten too), Deepnest absolutely eats basically any bug they kill, sentient or not, I doubt the Mantis tribes would have any problem eating sentients either... the leaf and mushroom tribes wouldn't even consider it canniablism cuz they're not made of meat, etc.
I just love the vibes that Hallownest bugs, while sentient, are still closer to an insect's mindset than ours. with how much of their roads, homes, and equipment are made of old dead bugs or bug parts, it certainly isn't a stretch to imagine they eat their dead, too. Why not? then again they do have graveyards. hm.
anyway sorry for the long post. i love the implications of fictional races and their food culture. I have similar thoughts about pokemon consumption.
I also believe its a matter of circumstance; Bugaria has a surplus of food so massive that they literally use it as currency. They have farms and livestock and a sort of economy. They can afford to be picky.
Hallownest is all about survival. There are no farms, no livestock. There's only plants you can gather and prey you must kill. Until Ghost stopped the infection, you were on your own, so to speak.
62 notes
·
View notes