#god knows how I decide which is which

[the-void-has-questions]

I like how misspellings make words funnier, like idk what a cronge is but I’m giggling about it

[wigglebox]

🌊

[eyrieofsynapses]

good evening, all. it is May the 25th. our lilacs are blooming, just as the ones at the Watch House did. and I am thinking about remembrance of the fallen, and GNU, and the love in commemoration.

y'know, I read Night Watch… oh, maybe a year ago and some months ago. and the lilac symbolism, the remembrance of the Watch, has always struck me with the depth of the emotion of it, the tangibility of it in the flowers. but I wasn't aware that today was the day until I saw commemorative posts, all that gorgeous artwork and more, on my dash.

I was also not aware, until now, that fans commemorated the day not only because of the book reference, but in support of Terry Pratchett and of those with Alzheimer's. which knocked me over a bit because of course, of course the group that would use GNU to honor him would do that. and… I've been thinking about GNU a lot, lately, and this caught me again.

I read Going Postal a bit ago, and reread it recently. both times, the parts about GNU made me tear up. this idea of the names, the memories, the lives of the clacks workers who dedicated themselves to ensuring that people heard each other's voices—all those names spoken again and again and again by that which they poured their souls into, winging along in the air as they could not, an eternal reminder that they were loved—how could that not touch a person's heart?

when I found out that fans online used it to memorialize him, I damn well cried. hell, I still tear up just thinking about it. do you know, there's a code for an HTTP header "X-Clacks-Overhead: GNU Terry Pratchett" written by Reddit users to put in webpages, where it goes unseen by the average user? and in 2015, when Netcraft took a survey, there were eighty-four thousand websites using it? it's eight years later—how many thousands upon thousands of websites have this now, do you think? how many little cables of light has his name flown along, now? how many times?

that alone is absurdly and unimaginably lovely in its own right, but… there's something else to it. there's something about remembering with the lilac sprigs every year, just as Vimes and those who were there remembered their dead. something about how, when we take up our lilac sprigs, we carry a little piece of the characters in our hearts, too. I kept trying to put my finger on why that makes me tear up the way it does. the conclusion I came to is this:

what greater way to honor a writer is there, but to honor them the way they did the characters they poured their heart and soul into? what better way to say we know you and you are not forgotten and your work and words and gifts to the world are held in our hearts forever than to remember them by their own words, their own vision? how else could we say you embodied all the good you believed in and wished to see in the world, but to memorialize them after the little pieces of their soul they wrapped in ink and put upon the page?

it is a knowing of the writer, to remember them in their way. it is not a worn-out faceless platitude, but a reminder that their work has been read and will continue to be, that the characters and world they loved enough to bring to life last just as their name does. such remembrance is warm and loving and delights in their memory even as it grieves.

and now Pratchett's name has been written in his tradition, over and over and over, across the vast plane of the Internet, where it will—with any luck—continue to fly for generations to come.

there is no way to truly express the beauty of that… but perhaps we can catch a glimpse of it in the lilacs, both ours and the Watch's.

[fighting-these-demons]

Divorce Saga Domon - A Haunted Honk Prequel

Hello Internet Stranger looking up G Gundam on Tumblr dot com!

This is an idea for a fic set in an Alternate Universe involving Queer Non-Canon Relationships between the characters of the series.

If you are not looking for this content please scroll on.

If you ARE looking for this content - and you're ok with reading my and other's Headcanons for this Alternate Universe I've haphazardly spun up -

Then go ahead and feel free to:

Check The Tags Of This Post For The Pairings

and click the Read More below!

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Ended up outlining a completely different fic as a Segway for an explanation instead of making progress on the Royal Flush Haunted Honk AU's Clown Motel Fic like I wanted to but uh....

For y'all's review for the AU: A Prequel Outline - Divorce Saga Domon

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Hey real quick - I'm thinking of maybe changing the timeline to 2 years post canon as opposed to 3 years and change post canon.

The reason being: I had a thought that this scene could either be part if the fic or if it's getting to big then it could be a stand alone tie-in prequel fic as part of this AU but - like

Immediately Post Divorce Domon Needs Space and runs off. As one does. And he runs to Earth because he just wants to Get Lost for a while.

He has Argo smuggle him out to avoid detection.

Argo has Andrew help stow Domon in a storage hanger of a Neo Canadian supply ship that's returning to the US - they have trade often enough and share agricultural resources - which leads to Domon ending up in New York when he hits Earthside pavement.

He's privately worked on his English the last couple of months and after being dropped in New York with a different hairstyle, outfit, and accent he's unrecognizable. 

He considers making his way west to get some solitude in the wilderness, but something about that initial plan feels off now that he's on the ground.

Chibodee is also Earthside for a special series of prize fights aimed at raising charitable appeal for the US in the eyes of Neo Americans.

Domon decides to hit up Chibodee for a fight on a day between matches hoping it'll clear his head and give him the clarity to decide on a course of action. What ends up happening is an unexpected heart to heart via blows and a breakdown.

Domon is happy for Rain and Kyoji, and he knows it's not true; but he feels like he lost a piece of himself when his relationship with Rain fell apart.

Domon's instinct is to run after that but Chibodee knows this city and Domon doesn't hide out for long before Chibodee drags him back to his place to stay and just "Chill out and breathe. You don't have to be anyone but yourself here. You can take as long as you need to find out what everything changing means for you." Friends and teammates stick together.

So Domon spends a few weeks with Chibodee sparring and hanging out in New York. Chibodee does a frankly awesome job at containing his feelings because he's focusing on Domons feelings and being a good friend first and foremost. Whatever he's feeling can wait until after Domon is done going though it.

There's a bit of a twinge in Domon's heart as he leaves that he can't really place.

After he returns to Neo Japan and gets settled back into life with his family, The Dreams start.

They're mainly set in New York. Small things first like noticing Chibodee's smile and his eyes. Then sparring sessions that begin to turn lurid.

He thought these kinds of dreams would stop after he was married.... he doesn't know what to do about this.

I just figure it gives more clarity and sense of time for the journey from Comphet Marriage Dissolution to Feelings to Confession. Idk.

But I got stuck on a bit and then had this thought and needed to get it down before I lost it and it was so long it made sense to make it its own post as opposed to several replies.

The Maize and Clown Motel will probably still be 3 years and change post canon for clarification.

@thedragonchilde @amplexadversary @youreaclownnow

[kiyterra]

Ooooo civilian!Bruce got me thinking about Jason,,, like how does his death go down here? Did he die in uniform and the others (at this point it would be just Dick and Barbra I think??) have to cover it up??? Did he only become a vigilante post-death?? He wouldn’t have as much (if any) angst with Bruce because Bruce is just A Guy here so does he stay away post coming back because he thinks he doesn’t belong anymore????? I’m just imagining the others dragging him back to the manor by the scruff of his neck because god dAMN IT JASON BRUCE AND ALFRED MISS YOU

(Also, you might already know this but: anon is off for your blog! I know from experience people are wayyyy more likely to send asks when it’s on)

so i already answered the first part of this ask earlier and @fanaticalthings made the most AMAZING addition that answers the second part <3 like literally took the ideas in my brain and wrote it out word for word for me thank YOU

jasons motivations are very different since he doesn't have a reason to blame bruce/batman for not avenging him, and instead during argument he has with bruce before he runs to ethiopia, jason says a lot of things he doesn't mean in the heat of the moment. he tells bruce he doesn't want him to be his dad, and that bruce didn't actually want him anyway. this is all wrong of course, but freshly resurrected and traumatized jason can't get over the fact that he yelled all those things at the man who did so much for him. had told his older brother he didn't want him either.

jaosn is so ashamed, so he stays away. he makes his debut as red hood in the narrows, and he almost breaks down when he sees nightwing again, but he goes on. he finds a crappy little apartment, does his dues, and watches over the waynes from afar.

but it's inevitable that dick and the tiny sherlock holmes replica tim drake find out who he is. and dick cries. a lot.

"baby brother, i'm so sorry. i'm sorry i wasn't there, i'm sorry, im sorry."

jason is a bit scornful towards tim at first, with the whole poster rich child replacement, but he warms up to him because tim is a good kid. hes curious and quiet but sharp and not afraid at all to sass jason as much as he respects him. they both try to drag jason right back to the manor because having their brother think he wasn't wanted, had been replaced, had been forgotten- that wasn't just untrue, it was fucking stupid.

but jason just isn't ready. he doesn't feel like he deserves to face alfred again, to face bruce again.

"please, just give me some more time. i need more time before- before."

and when could dick deny his little brother anything? so he stops being so adamant, but he sets a hard limit of two months, because

"bruce deserves to know, jay. he missed you so much, he misses you so much. there wasn't a day dad didn't think of you and wish you were here with us. come home soon, jay. please."

[everye]

tw blood, gore

My Heaven

sh1 locations usually don't get much recognition so i feel like adding some explanatory notes on it (just in case)

the place is the secret chamber in Green Lion Antiques where distracted from prayer alessa is having a tender moment gazing at the point where God's painting is supposed to be

(GOD- IM TRULY BEWITCHED BY THIS GAME THE WAY IT NEVER THROWS STRAIGHT FACTS IN UR FACE AND WISELY KEEPS ATMOSPHERE OF UNDERSTATEMENT TILL THE VERY END SO FKING CHARMING–)

whatever ceremonial stuff it is, it had started to burn before one of harry's passing out

and due to perspective in my drawing alessa stands directly on it ..

i'd like to sum up the post w little art comparison bc i also pursued the goal to redraw one of my old drawings

the first one is pretty rough for sure still luv both of them tho

june 2021 august 2022

seems like i had come to better understanding of what im trying to achieve in terms of composition COLORS and whatnot

ьььь

[timeisacephalopod]

The type of Christian who asks atheists how they don't like, murder people on the reg are so funny to me because they seem to think their religion makes them the Peak of Morality when statements like "if you don't believe in God how comes you don't do X thing" all but outright state they have no idea why shit like murder and rape is bad except that God doesn't like it lmao. Like way to admit you have no intrinsic sense of morality and need to be afraid of a higher power to be a decent person, but I promise if you're not a piece of shit it's actually very natural not to want to do heinous evil shit all the time potential punishment from a higher power or not 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

[pagesofkenna]

coming up with such cool worldbuilding ideas that the reader/player will never get to know about. currently trying to figure out how to hide a planet

[skydigiblogs]

ykw i just realized i haven't actually posted about the shit i liked about ghost game and i was thinking about like.

gammamon and gulusgammamon's relationship today???

the resolution of that whole thing really made me and my system happy, because one of us was literally in the middle of writing an essay about how no one ever does the "superpowered evil side" trope right, yeah?

ghost game is literally the only time i think they've ever done it alright from a system's perspective

mostly because while yeah, that whole conflict comes to a head at the climax of the series, it also doesn't end in some annoying shit where either gammamon Learns To Control His Evil Side (functionally destroying gulus) or Finds A Better Higher Power (technically he does as siriusmon but), he just goes DUDE YOU NEED TO CHILL and gulus grumpily obliges after getting the shit kicked out of him.

i'm pretty sure i've seen a few systems right more in-depth posts about this here on tumblr but like... yeah...

gammamon system my beloved

[tavyliasin]

A Prequel? Haarlep, is that you?...

Hello darlings~ I have landed where all writers who love Haarlep end up eventually, imagining their first meeting with Raphael, how they came to be in the cambion's service, what they were like before taking his form. Both are probably around 120 years old, so they are well established in their own rights, but by their races' standards they are young and inexperienced. I'm only half working on this between my request list for now, because the idea won't let me go, but have a few little previews below the cut, including a version of their appearance that a very talented Tav-maker has made with their lovely mods~ Other renditions of them based on my imagined description are more than welcome, I do very much enjoy seeing different interpretations. Preview below the cut! If you'd rather wait for the first chapter to drop, give me a few more days while I work on a few deadline pieces ahead of event exchanges and I'll publish it on AO3 <3

The first appearance of the un-named incubus.

A young fiend stood before a glimmering doorway, uncertain of when precisely they were meant to cross the threshold. They were dressed in a black silk outfit that gave them an appearance of masculine androgyny. Dark tan skin and bright green eyes might have looked human, if it weren’t for the 4 short horns protruding from their brow, slightly parting black hair that cascaded down their back and over their shoulders almost blending with the silks they wore. The other tells of their demonic nature were more obvious, however. Huge wings with blackened edges, claws at the tip, coloured in sunset hues of red and gold stretched out behind them, quivering with nervous anticipation. A long tail with an arrow-tip end pawed at the ground behind them, kicking up a little infernal ash. All they carried was the clothing they wore and the instructions they had been given. A simple enough task, and they were hardly inexperienced, but their first meetings were usually within a dream. Subtly watching their target, learning their desires and their fears, finding every intimate secret they hid in their subconscious before they would ever appear before them physically. They sighed. They didn’t even have a name to bring with them. Whatever it was had been taken, a simple exchange for a promised reward. “Let him name you,” the instructions had been clear, “let him do as he wishes. Get close, learn all you can, and deliver it back to me. You are no fool, incubus, and neither is he. But play the game well, and you will have the life of your dreams in the end. A home all of your own, whatever meals you desire delivered to your door, complete power over the domain I shall grant you.” It was tempting. It would be tempting to any incubus or succubus. They also couldn’t deny a small amount of pride at having been chosen. It sounded like the advances of succubi had already been rejected, so they relished the thought of a challenge. Besides, the son of Mephistopheles was hardly without any power of his own. They took a deep breath, steeling their nerves before they stepped through the portal.  ------------

The sass starts early with this one...

The cambion put his feet on the floor and straightened up the papers, putting them in a neat stack on the table. He stood, walking towards the invited invader in his home, stalking around them to observe and assess them. “I’m not a piece of meat, Raphael.” They stood still nonetheless, allowing him to pace and take in all of their form. They flexed their wings and tail to put on more of a show. “Do you like what you see?~” “Passable.” The cambion grunted, the highest praise he had given any attempt yet. “And good you finally recognise your master’s name. So, why are you here?” “You know that much. Your dear father sent me. You are well aware that many of your kind take ours as advisors, partners in pleasure, or allies for whatever purposes you might have for our abilities.” The incubus grinned, the hint of slightly sharpened teeth glinting in the light as they looked down on the smaller human form of their supposed master. “You’re a spy.” Raphael said simply. “Obviously.” They replied, pleased that they were not being expected to work for a complete fool. “Do you wish to refuse me? Send me back?” “Honesty is a commodity that few of your kind trade in. You may stay. However, ground rules must be set.” He turned to walk away, beckoning for them to follow. “Come.” “Already?” The incubus laughed at their own humour. “It takes more than that, Raphael.” 

-----

The First Rendering of The Presently Un-Named Incubus

Lore Time

The description, appearance, and other details I'm using here are all from established lore for an incubus in 5e. The main source is an article titled for the succubus, but they are very similar beings. Click here for Incubus/Succubus Lore In the article there's a lot of binary gender talk and heteronormativity which irritates me, so I'll also be taking the literal latin descriptions here: Incubus - To lie on top of Succubus - To lie below Concubus - To lie beside (The literal Top/bottom/vers, where a Top gives, bottom receives, and vers is either. As an aside, this is not the same as Dom/sub/switch, as you can have a sub Top and a Dom bottom) From this line: "Legend held that incubi and succubi were wholly separate sexes,[1] and the males were significantly rarer than the female of their kind.[5][6] In fact, with their shapechanging powers, incubi and succubi could both change their sex with ease, though most had a preference for one or the other." I headcanon that Haarlep feels more comfortable in a masculine or androgynous form, but has no issue taking a feminine form or body. However their attitude to gender in general remains "stop boring me with the details and tell me what you desire, all that matters is pleasure. Gender is a boring mortal construct. My nature is an incubus, my form is immaterial." So the article also shows that incubi and succubi also have a more human range of skin tones, much smaller horns than cambions, and the distinct pointed triangle at the end of their tails - something which isn't present in Haarlep's scenes when he's in Raphael's form. I'll definitely go into more detail on these things later too, particularly the changing of forms for the first time.

This is an incubus from the lore page images, so you can see a difference between this and a cambion's fully reddened look. They are much closer to a human in all but the wings, tail, and horns. So that's where I'm leaning with dear Haarls, before they take the form of Raphael.

What about Raphael? What is he like now?

Well...he's younger. Not long taken ownership of the mansion that will later be known as the House of Hope. --- Quote --- Fine leather boots paced across stone floors, the click of heels echoing around the halls of the largely empty mansion that floated through Avernus. It was a start. A place of his own, somewhere to work with his own contracts and plans. The owner of the boots was a cambion, son of Mephistopheles, and already a powerful fiend in his own right. Raphael, if you were to ask a mortal, looked like a human in his mid 20s. Chestnut hair was swept back neatly from his brow, the ends curling a little just below his shoulders. His brown eyes were deep set but sparkled with ideas, face clean shaven and expression darkening by the moment. --- End Quote --- So as you see, Raphael is still finding his feet, working out the beginnings of far grander plans. He has already rejected several "gifts" sent his way, so that's why our dear incubus is nervous. They have to work to get his attention and approval, but they're not sacrificing everything of who they are to do so. As soon as I wrote the two of them in a room together again, it was flowing. I love their dynamic as they exist in my head, the push and pull, the absolute sass and shifting of power between them. I'm going to lean heavily on how this builds up, how they find the balance that leads to where they are in my game-era works with them.

Is this all an excuse for more Raphael and Haarlep? A self indulgent dive through their history just to keep writing their stories?

...Yes. I'm not sorry. I earned this. I love them both too much. I hope you'll join me in my endless adoration for the very best of fiends~ I can't wait to share the first chapter and begin proper work on the series in 2024!

[myymi]

uHHHH if ur still doing requests about tails teaching knuckles how to play a video game

(ps -love ur writing, keep it up)

sonic makes a cameo btw, hope you don't mind

word count-1081

-------------------

“I don’t understand the point of this, Tails.” Knuckles mumbled, watching as the fox powered on the tablet he was holding. He doesn’t think it’s the younger’s main tablet, as this one is red and a lot bigger.

“It’s fun!” Tails smiled as he swiped through the gallery of games downloaded, “We just gotta find something you’d like,” He hummed as continued looking.

The echidna sighed and placed a hand on the kit’s shoulder, guiding him to sit on the top stair of the shrine.

“Here,” The kid smiled, handing the tablet over to the older once he sat down, “let’s try this one out!”

Knowing he couldn’t say no to the fox, Knuckles took the tablet carefully and squinted at the screen. It had gone from the bright white to more colorful scenery, showcasing an island, “Animal Crossing?”

“It’s a more relaxed game,” Tails explained as he crossed his legs underneath one another, “I think it’s a good one to try out first.”

“If you say so,” The teen shrugged, tapping the button that read ‘new game’, raising a brow when it did nothing.

He heard the fox giggling beside him, “You have to use the buttons on the controller.” He said before reaching over and pressing the ‘A’ button.

“That seems pointless.” Knuckles grumbled, eyes staying focused on the screen.

“You have to use the buttons for everything in this game,” Tails said with a shrug, “thinking about it, it wouldn’t work all too well if you just tapped the screen for everything.”

Choosing to ignore what the fox had said, the teen squinted at the screen when he saw a character come up and start talking to him. 

“Tom Nook?” He questioned, shaking his head, “an odd name.” 

 “The names aren’t all that important.” Tails said, leaning against the older. 

“What is the objective of this, Tails?” Knuckles asked, looking at his brother. 

“Your goal is to build up your island,” The kit explained, “y’know, making it livable for the villagers.” 

“The island is inhabited?” The echidna asked as he continuously pressed the ‘A’ button, not caring to read any of the dialog. 

“Well, it is now.” Tails shrugged, pointing at the avatars on screen, “by you, Tom, Timmy, Tommy, and two other randomized villagers.” 

“Why?” Knuckles turned to look at the younger, “There are plenty of other places they could’ve lived, why take over an island?” 

“Uhh,” Tails probably should’ve thought this through a bit more, “well, the island needs someone to take care of it, right? Make sure it isn’t overgrown, trees are able to grow healthily, etc.” 

Knuckles hummed, looking back at the screen, “I suppose you’re right.” 

The kit just smiled up at him, wrapping his tails around the two of them. He turned back to the screen, reading as much of the next he could before the teen skipped past. 

When they were through all of the text, Knuckles turned to the younger to ask what the next step was, but the fox was already speaking. 

“Now you get to see which villagers you’re starting with,” Tails said, pointing to the left joystick, “use that to go up to them, then press A to talk to ‘em.” 

With a sigh, the echidna did as he was told and ran up to the lion wearing a bright green shirt. 

“Oh, that’s Bud!” Tails said with a smile before adding, “I think you’ll like him.”

“Hmm.. I trust your judgment.” Knuckles mumbled before pressing ‘A’ to talk to Bud.

Noticing the older was taking the time to read the dialog because of him, the fox gave a smile as he leaned against the other. He stayed quiet, unless Knuckles specifically asked for his help with something.

——

“I still can’t believe you actually taught Knux how to play a video game.” Sonic said, shaking his head. He and Tails were at Angel Island for a visit, which the oldest had paused for a minute so he could check on his virtual island.

It had been a few weeks since Tails showed the echidna how to play Animal Crossing and, from what he could tell, Knuckles really enjoyed it!

“Anyone can learn how to play a game,” Tails shrugged his shoulders, glancing over at the echidna, “you just gotta find the right game for them.”

“And you figured a calm game was the right one?” The hedgehog raised his brow at his brother, “Do we know the same Knuckles?”

The kit rolled his eyes, using his elbow to nudge the older, “Knuckles is calm! You just always push his patience!”

“Whatever you say, l’il bro.” Sonic laughed when he received a punch in his arm in place over the gentle nudge, looking over at Knuckles as he rejoined the group.

“Hey!” Tails greeted, a bright, innocent smile on his face as if he didn’t just punch the hedgehog, “Everyone alright?”

Knuckles gave a curt nod, “They are good. They seem happy with the decorations I’ve added.”

“You’ll have to show me all your new stuff soon!” The kit said as they sat down on the ground, getting ready for lunch, “That includes your new villagers.”

Sonic snorted from his spot to the right of the fox, “You’re telling me he let’s people stay on the island?”

The echidna rolled his eyes, “I’m fine with people being on my island, hedgehog. Just not you.”

“What?” The teen reeled back, an exaggerated gasp leaving his mouth, “I’ve saved this island so many times, dude!”

“You would ruin the grass with all of your running.” The older pointed out, a small smirk on face proving he didn’t really mean what he was saying. Not entirely, at least.

“You’d just do some ancient echidna spell to fix ‘em.” Sonic joked, shooting a wink at the youngest.

“You know that’s not possible.” The smirk fell from Knuckles’ face. He was starting to get annoyed.

Tails sighed, bringing his knees up to his chest as he continued to watch his hero annoy their older brother until his temper snapped. It didn’t take long for Knuckles to take a swing at Sonic, since he knew all the perfect ways to push the echidna over the edge.

Figuring they’d be at it for a while, the kit got up from his spot and flew to the top of the Master Emerald’s shrine, picking up the red tablet and plopping himself on the top step.

He’ll just have to give himself a tour of Knuckles’ island.

[gh-0-stcup]

Gonna be honest, I don't think any Sam ship will ever hit as hard as Sam/Ruby.

[s1ithers]

wish i knew the forgotten realms lore better...how am i meant to make my little ocs in this state of ignorance

[goldkirk]

question: have any of you personally seen a dietician (not looking for experiences with nutritionists, only dieticians), and did you find it helpful or useful, and if you did see a dietician and you ALSO have seen a GI doctor, how did the experience compare for you in terms of helpfulness + how much you felt listened to and helped?

[ctrl-lupin]

Yes, I would be very interested hearing your head canon (@tim-ribbert-56) (in response to this post)

I have decided for my personal entertainment that Clarisse de Cagliostro is related to Lupin III, and here's why.

-pulls out Arsène Lupin's Wikipedia page-

In the novel La Comtesse de Cagliostro, a young Arsène Lupin (at the time going by the name Raoul d'Andrésy) was courting Clarisse d'Etigues, a young lady of a well-to-do family, and trying to win her hand, despite her father's disapproval.

Throughout the course of the novel, Lupin meets and falls in love with Joséphine Balsamo, aka the Countess of Cagliostro, and abandons Clarisse in favour of her. To clarify, Joséphine is not actually countess of anything, she is (or claims to be) a descendant of Giuseppe Balsamo aka the Count of Cagliostro (who was also count of jack shit), a famous conman from the 18th century.

Shenanigans ensue, which I will not go into in details on, but oh my god I am insane about Raoul and Joséphine, I want to dissect them and study them under a microscope. It turns out Joséphine aka Cagliostro is evil as fuck, Raoul/Lupin realizes that and goes back to Clarisse (whom he had previously abandoned like an old sock, I fucking hate this guy), marries her, and a few years later has her kid.

Unfortunately Clarisse dies in childbirth, and Joséphine, who was still around and very very pissed at Lupin (and jealous as hell of Clarisse whom, may I mention, had never personally antagonized her in any way whatsoever, Joséphine is just fucking bonkers). Joséphine also kidnaps Lupin and Clarisse's son, Jean, and raises him as her own son. (I have not yet read the following novel The revenge of Cagliostro so I don't really know what Jean's deal is, I just know he's an antagonist).

The following is my headcanon, based on these events. In the universe of Lupin III, Joséphine Balsamo was actually countess of the small kingdom of Cagliostro (maybe Giuseppe was count, maybe he conned his way into becoming count, maybe he bought the land and built a fake kingdom with a fake history, who knows).

After the events of The revenge of Cagliostro, Jean settles down in the country of Cagliostro, gets married, has a child, and that child will later have a daughter of their own, who they name Clarisse, after their late grandmother. Clarisse de Cagliostro, of Lupin III: The Castle of Cagliostro fame, would thus be the great-grand-daughter of Arsène Lupin, making her Lupin III's cousin/niece/whatever you call this specific degree of separation.

I am choosing to make Clarisse de Cagliostro a great-granddaughter of Arsène Lupin, rather than a granddaughter, because Arsène Lupin was very young when the events I described unfolded: he is 20 years old when he meets Clarisse d'Etigues and the whole Cagliostro debacle happens, and 25 by the time Jean is born. I'm assuming he had Lupin II much later in his life. So Jean and Lupin II (half-brothers) would have a significant difference in age, and so Jean's hypothetical child (grandchild of Arsène Lupin, so of the same generation of Lupin III) would be much older than Lupin III. Clarisse de Cagliostro is younger than him, maybe around the same age if you stretch it, so she's have to be a great-grandchild.

Now I need to read The revenge of Cagliostro and study Arsène Lupin's wikipedia page in more detail to determine when exactly Lupin II was born and who his mother was. And also where Albert's family branched out, because the fact that he's called D'Andrésy should theoretically place him as a descendant of Arsène Lupin's mother but not of Arsène Lupin himself; but Jean was also going by that last name, so who fucking knows.

No I am not insane I promise, I am just a gigantic nerd.

[lupins-hehim-pussy]

I think I accidentally made Wriothesley AuDHD. fuck