#god it sucks

[atom-system]

I just want some entirely platonic cuddles, is that too much to ask for?

[caffeinatedopossum]

Just found out my two roommates are planning to move out :( which not only fucks me and my gf over financially but is kinda devastating since they're like family to us

[faneth]

so do we just not have a place to post our art safely anymore or

[theology101]

So it’s been a few days now and I finally feel comfortable to bring this up in public:

It’s been 17 days since I saw my second drowning and fourth death. This was the first time I could actually do anything about it. And I didn’t.

Me and a few of my old friends from Hogh School went to a common cliff jumping place. We were meeting my friend Keagan, who had been there for 3 hours and had been grilling butger’s and Brat’s all day. I was supposed to buy the alcohol, and because the gas station we planned at stopping at had nothing, we were 20-30 minutes late to showing.

As one of the bigger guys in the group, I carried the 36 pack of beers on a ten minute hike. And when I mean hike, there were several points where I had to either jump or climb, and if I’d been making the trip alone I couldn’t have brought anything with many.

Anyways, we get there, I put down the case, crack open a beer and shotgun it. Then, I grabbed a paper plate and started prepping my butger. Less then five minutes after I arrived, I heard people screaming for help from the Water. By the time I realized something was happening, six people were already on the rescue. As I took another sip watching 2 kids get saved from relatively shallow water, I said “Man, thank god I’m off dury.”

I’m head guard at a pool that gets over 250+ a day.

And when prople were drowning, I made a joke

I thought everything was fine, until the two kids were brought to shore. Then, after one of them vomitted the water in his lungs I heard, loud and clear, “He’s still under water!”

This time, I did react quickly, but it was already too late. As my phone was ringing for 911, I was doing the math in my head. The first shout was 5-15 seconds after they jumped, the scream for help was 10-25, they were out of the water by around a minute. If we had started searching immediately - it would already be borderline.

Instead 911 rang as 8 watched the water surface, and didn’t see anyone break it. By the time I confirmed our location, I knew the kid was already dead. I heard his name from someone else, and when the Sheriff’s department called me, I told him everything I knew. Then, at around 11 at night, the Sheriff sent one of his deputies to finish off my questioning

I’m aware, objectively, that there is vwry little I could’ve done. That we had no idea were the kid was and the fact that I did break rhe bystander effect was important enough as iy is in order to bring his fanily peace. But try making that argument, to yourself, when you’re trained to perform in water rescues and you just didn’t. Objectively, I had no idea knowing the stakes (why would you go cliff jumping if you can’t swim? I had no reason to expect that they were in actual danger) but it doesnt change the base facts.

If I had been able to get in the water, and if I had been able to perform a proper save technique, and if the kid I saved was coherent enough for me to understand him - I might have been able yo start searching at the 20 second mark instead of limply calling the police three minutes afterwards.

Idk, part of this is probably huilt from the other three death’s haunting me because, unlike in the others, I might’ve been able to do something. When Uncle Larry’s leg was torn off, I could do mothing. When I saw that lady struggle and drown in front of her kids while in Nice, France, she was too far out for me to do anything at all, and when my grandfather died I couldn’t force the air into his lungs.

But maybe, MAYBE, if I’d gotten there faster, William QuiQui wouldn’t have died

[bigboobshaunt]

He was in the Amazon with my mom when she was researching spiders just before she died.

[imstillhere-butallislost]

I'm thinking one day I'll start writing fan fiction and I'll write an ending for all last legacy routes,,, I miss Sage

[leavemetoplaythesims]

i took a painkiller for my period cramps and IT DID NOTHING

[fishparasite]

sunk cost fallacied myself into finishing this shitty painting

[genderqueerpond]

- and the Doctor would NEVER, NOT IN A TRILLION TRILLION CENTURIES, CONTINUE TO FIDDLE AROUND AIMLESSLY ONCE HE FIGURED OUT THAT TURLOUGH (or ANY companion honestly) was being TORTURED

[bedbug404]

I'm so excited to go to school tomorrow!

[springrls]

I feel so defeated

[auntierayeraye]

Fuck you, Neil Gaiman.

[namitomoon]

Watching Capsule Monsters makes me wish I was watching Duel Monsters instead as it made me realize just how much better it is written in comparison.

It happened to me with Boruto and Naruto too.

[firefrightfic]

to anyone missing my writing please know i am also missing my writing

[loserfae]

learning that self deprecation isnt cool and just makes the people around you uncomfortable unironically improved my mental health a lot. like if you just stop saying negative shit about yourself you will genuinely like yourself more and other people wont be repulsed by your attitude and you will have more friends. it's true.

[ratsonfire]

Someone’s about to get stabbed, idk who yet