#god i yearn for this man
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"I Will"
Sam Winchester x Reader
This was based on Mitski's song, I just love her music so much.
Authors note: Suprise!! A comfort fic!! I haven't been doing the best lately, my mental health is really getting to me. I think writing this may help :) Beware of any writing mistakes, it's 4 am right now so criticism is welcomed. (silly hours for me) Non-specific reader and this one might be a little small.
Reblogs are appreciated!! <3
He was always so caring and lovely no matter what, you knew that.
However, something inside of you just ate at you for days, weeks even. It was different and difficult, causing the past to reel you back in. The 'What if' thoughts were consuming you once again.
What if that never happened to you? What if everything you went through was for nothing? What if this was the last week for you? What if you're just making it all up? What if.
The sadness was a persistent parasite, you wanted it out of you.
You were a little avoident and dismissive about it, throwing "Yep I'm good"'s at him.
He knew something was actually up with you, he attempted to try to fish it out of you.
You started to refuse to sleep in the same bed, if you did it would only be for a little bit before rising earlier than he did. You slept in the library or even the kitchen, your excuses with research and exhaustion weren't cutting it anymore.
He didn't do anything wrong, it was you being you.
He was finally able to corner you, catching you up in your lies.
You two were sitting in the impala, Dean in the store for some food on the ride home. You, in the backseat, pretending to be asleep so you could wiggle your way out of the tense situation.
"You're getting worse, I can see it. Please just talk to me, I will take good care of you."
You took a quiet deep breath to reject the tears.
You couldn't explain it to anyone out loud, it felt like an internalized argument with yourself.
An argument of upset and angry thoughts. You wanted help but the shame and bravery of asking for help was overwhelming to ignore.
His hand patiently reached for yours. It was warm and soothing. You ached for his love yet you couldn't bring yourself to embrace it.
"I'm sorry," is all you could mutter out. How could you explain to him?
Sorry Sam! The thoughts are getting worse and I'm not sure if I'll make it this time. I hope you can understand!
As if that was okay to tell him, it'll raise him to questions and concerns.
Dean came back to the car, putting an end to the situation. He was aware of how your mental state was, you weren't too hard to read.
He offered you food and you accepted it out of a hint of guilt if you didn't. You just placed the food next to you and watched the environment move when he backed out of the parking lot.
The drive was going normal, their normal brother bickering and silence. They were having a talk about the hunt you all got done with yesterday.
You decided to tune it all out, ruminating in your own world.
You thought of ways to tell him. Maybe you didn't need to, you could just lock it all away to eventually forget.
You started to feel a sense of dread building up in you so you attempted to sleep it off.
You woke up with soft whispers of your name, Sam's voice trying to wake you up.
Due to the lack of sleep and high alert you bolted up, sitting straight and facing him.
"We're here now, come inside so we can talk."
Those words made you feel small as a little kid would when they get in deep shit. You thought about it more, that's all you've been doing as of lately.
You got out of the car with Sam trailing behind you.
Dean must've been inside already, ready to booze and snooze.
The two of you just walked in the same tense atmosphere as before, making your way to your shared room.
He closed the door behind and immediately wrapped his arms around you in such a gentle way.
Obviously you couldn't help but sob in his care, you needed it so much. Repeating the words 'I'm sorry' to him over and over.
It never felt enough.
He never said anything during it, he understood sometimes you struggle. He played with your hair, guiding you to the bed to sit down with him.
"It's okay to feel this way", he replied to your aftermath of crying.
"I'm always here for you. I will always be here for you. There's no need to run and hide from it." The way he spoke to you in that tone, you wanted to melt in his love.
"Do you want to talk about it?" You shook your head still unsure of how to talk about it. He gave a simple nod and hugged you a little tighter before letting go.
"We should go clean up, we're dirty from that hunt."
Sam held your hand the entire time as he lead you to the showers.
You both stood in silence again, just appreciating each other while the water ran. You wished the peaceful intimate moments with him lasted forever.
The night ended with him holding you, the tense atmosphere now replaced with kindness and comfort.
"It's just getting really bad again, I just want it to stop."
"We can get through it together, please just stay with me for now."
#sam winchester#sam winchester x reader#x reader#fanfic#comfort#supernatural#supernatural x reader#supernatural sam#supernatural dean#dean winchester#help me im so fucking sad#comfort fic#comfort is good right?!?!?!#god i yearn for this man#im gay for sam winchester
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has anyone ever seen a more pathetic man than colin staring at penelope's mouth? trick question, you haven't!!!
#please know i mean pathetic affectionatly#i didn't feel like making these into gifs because it will not be able to capture how fucking DERANGED he is#mind you this is from first kiss to last kiss#and in most of them pen is looking AT him and he's looking at her mouth in SHOCK NEED DESIRE WANT YEARNING#to the people who say he didn't grovel or was tortured enough BITCH HE'S LITERALLY LOOKING LIKE A CRAZED MAN#god i'm going insane#colin bridgerton#penelope featherington#bridgerton#colin x penelope#polin#bridgerton spoilers#ʚ laurs art ɞ#tw long post
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the mcrib is back
#i was writing a fic - yes#about wade's relationship with the mcrib#and as if by god the mcrib returned#i do not dine at the golden arches but wade's profound emotional relationship with mcdonalds foods in the fanficiton i write is.#very dear to me.#no promises i will finish writing the mcrib fic that nobody asked for .#cable is in that fic so ergo nobody wants it.#i've never eaten a mcrib sandwich. and i feel like i shouldn't.#let wade's relationship with the mcrib be a cautionary tale. it will only end in heartbreak.#we should not fall in love with entities that will come and go and leave your heart yearning.#be it man or. sandwich.#sci speaks#but it is a fun fic about nathan and his time adventures too. wade divulges into all the selfish things he would do.#if he could time travel.#he could time travel to any time period that the mcrib is available.#what would nathan do? if he were selfish. for a change.#would he bend time for a sandwich?#would you?
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replaying bsoup and why is this actually so insanely devastating, please akarsha stand up
#she is so me i need her to stand up#and the fact that they don’t even actually like get together get together even at the end is so#and like i forgot bc im replaying it but did it even say how long she’s liked noelle#like my god the silent yearning#please someone save you akarsha#butterfly soup#butterfly soup 2#noelle butterfly soup#akarsha butterfly soup#pee pee ketchup man#ppkm#wanted to write a sad yearning fic for them and was going to replay it so it wouldn’t be ooc but no im gonna have to make her more insane#about noelle#bsoup#laz.exe#laz live reaction
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I just really like it when a guy is soaked in sweat and covered in dirt. Is it too much to ask to see a couple grubby guys here? Where are they? Why are you all so clean?
#Thinking about men again#god damn it#Just snap some pics before you shower blue collar boy babes#All of you#I mean it#Every shape#Every size#Every damn man#Go get dirty#Still shower after though#I can help#nblm#nblm nsft#nblm love#nblm ns/fw#mlm and nblm only#mlm nsft#t4t mlm#trans mlm#mlm yearning#mlnb nsft#mlnb yearning#mlnb#mlm#gay thoughts
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WAIIIIIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT HOW DID I JUST NOW LEARN AFTER ALL THIS TIME--
Like, I've known about the religious aspect of Javert's death! Catholic theology taught that suicide was a mortal sin, meaning a sin that would send you to hell--Javert, who is described as exactingly religious (viewing religion as another authoritative structure, in contrast to Valjean's personal faith), was so distraught over the error and failure of his worldview, that he broke what he'd regarded as a sacred rule to punish himself and condemn himself to hell. I've known this! And it's agonizing!!
But then I read a YouTube comment of all things, and maybe this is an old take but it just eviscerated me:
At the time of Javert's death, suicide was a crime in France.
His last act was to break the law.
Mr. Hugo, I'd like to retire now, you're giving me too many emotions to process.
#javert#les mis#les miserables#spoilers#not sure if i need to tag that?? but it is ahead of where les mis letters is rn so might as well???#kay can i just catch my breath for a second#meta#my meta posts#kay is a classical literature nerd#like is this not AGONIZING TO YOU???????#not arguing he's a good person but just WOW that is some brutal contrast right there mr. hugo#that's how you right an antagonist that the audience aches for#if only he could have been redeemed!! but that would only have been possible if he were a different man#one who would choose it. one who would allow it--allow God to 'hold dominion over' him (to steal the musical's words)#aughhhhh someome had said it's a well-written character arc and ending because it makes you yearn for a different one#and that thought has been in my mind on loop for a week now#like man. if only it could have been different (it would never have been)#kay has a party in the tags#*write ugh
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god thinking about katsuki murmuring "gotta win... right izuku?" right before charging right into his death is so so so fucking batshit insane of a thing to include. like he's yearning for him. like not only is he speaking as if izuku is still at his side, but he still remembers what izuku said to him all those months ago and is fighting to live up to the version of himself izuku admired. and then he goes "tell me.... izuku.... can i still reach you" CAN I STILL REACH YOU LITERALLY LONGING FOR HIM, TELL ME, ONE LAST THING BEFORE I GO, JUST TELL ME IF I CAN REACH YOU FUCKING I'M LOSING MY MIND OVER HERE IT'S PEAK PINING TRAGIC ROMANCE
#bkdk#bakudeku#i'm literally going insane thinking about just how hard katsuki was yearning for him#all of this happening knowing he's probably going to die specifically to hurt izuku#the word choice the TELL ME#IZUKU ONE THING SPEAK TO ME ONCE MORE JUST TELL ME#CAN I REACH YOU#RRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAA#CAN I STAND BY YOU CAN I BE BY YOURSIDE AM I WORTHY AM I STRONG ENOUGH#the fucking YEARNING IS GOING CRAZY AND THIS IS WHAT HE THINKS ABOUT WHEN HE DIES#when izuku thinks he's gonna die to muscle man in s3 he's like “sorry mom”#katsuki is just full god i wish i could be at your side izuku i want to speak to you one last time i want the silly trading card we got#signed#hori i swear to god if you dont let these boys hug each other after all this tragic gay pining i'm gonna scream
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Eugene/Merriell
"We have lingered in the chambers of the sea By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown Till human voices wake us, and we drown."
#now that i have all the footage from the pacific logged im gonna go crazy with these edits just so youre all aware#eugene sledge#the yearning its all about the yearning#snafu shelton#merriell shelton#oh my god i cant remember how to spell his first name...t he french are insane#the pacific#sledgefu#song is of course sufjan stevens alone wiht you#i was gonna use an adrienne lenker song but i caved!! gotta give it to the classics#snafu im gonna get ur ass..... im gonna get u....... for breaking my babys heart...... i wont forget this not ever.....#eugene “never known a man who loved me” sledge we need to get u to the club baby#video edit#amv
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i talk about wanting to be called pretty and loved and being treated like someone’s everything but for some reason people don’t think you can be a binary trans man, or man in general, and want this.
so, this is for the masc binary trans men who want to be called pretty and to be loved and to be treated like someone’s everything.
you can want that too.
#mlm#mlm yearning#boy kisser in theory#cuddle me#gay#boy kisser#forehead kisses#i want a boyfriend#kiss my head#let me play with your hair#call me pretty#but in a good way#not in a#gender dysphoria#way#in a#you’re so pretty and lovely and I just want to love you#kind of way#god i want him so bad#and him#isn’t even a real person#I just want him#and he isn’t anyone specific#i want a boy#you can like play videos games and i’ll just sit on your lap against your chest idk#i want to sit on his lap#transmasc#transgender#binary trans man#can you tell i’m touched starved?
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“Every night I save you.”
Spike. Please. Ouch my heart.
#spike btvs#buffy season 6#buffy summers#buffy the vampire slayer#william the bloody#buffyverse#spike#god damn someone get him an acoustic guitar i need this man writing male yearning songs#btvs 6x03
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WHEN am i gonna wake up to the sound of soft snoring and turnover to see mister josh futturman holding me in his arms with his mouth half hung open, his hair a floofy mess, and an old gamer t shirt hugging his chest a lil too perfectly⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️
#WHEN#god can u hear me#puter pls give me josh#i have 3 wishes this is 1 of them#if genies exist how much r they#i got 20 bucks and a big contagious smile#yearning for a man#4 am thoughts#jhutch characters#josh futturman#future man#josh futturman x reader#josh hutcherson#text post#i would do literally ANYTHING for dat man#any. thing.
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augh... Time in a Bottle playing .. send help...
Does like... squidcraft semi imply how... Philza has been waiting for months to reunite with Missa, constantly searching for the moon that's so close yet so far from his grasp.
For the first time, Philza isn't trying to chase after the sun. He's chasing after the Moon, the stars... To find his boyfriend platonic husband.
Every different version of Philza yearning for the moon, and never understood why until they meet their own Missa. You ever think Philza yearns to go back, to try again and actually make sure... Missa stays and understand how much he loves him, that he'd follow him til the end of the Earth, because he'd reunite with him death. The Angel of Death and The Gentle Grim Reaper, forever connected in Death.
"If I could save time in a bottle..."
"The first thing that I'd like to do"
"Is to save every day 'til eternity passes away"
"Just to spend them with you"
"If I could make days last forever"
"If words could make wishes come true"
"I'd save every day like a treasure, and then"
"Again, I would spend them with you"
"I've looked around enough to know"
"That you're the one I want to go through time with"
#pissa#thoughts#missasinfonia#ph1lza#im weak man#its been what almost 300 days-#ive been starved for so long#eating all the fanart and clips so much#god PHILZA YEARNING???#WHAT HAPPEN-#I NEED TO KNOW THE LORE BEHIND ALL THAT#*cue screaming in background*
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Decided to do a little thing (click/tap to open and get the full quality version!).
Bonus Klaue wallpaper:
[ first set ] | [ second set ]
#andy serkis#i have way too many photos of this man#and i got distracted by that new one from the nyt photoshoot#so here you go#should i have been sleeping?#yes#a little bit of yearning thrown in for good measure#god he's so pretty#ulysses klaue#my graphics#phone wallpapers
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Not to sound like a broken record but Dylan Wood's Orpheus was Insane
#he did the traditional broadway ''poor little boy'' interpretation and.... dare i say it.... did it the best out of anyone#i liked donal's interpretation more bc i don't like orpheus being made a laughing stocm#but his vocals?????? oh my GOD. OH MY GOD. i don't think this man made a single mistake the entire night#so i am so sorry chibueze but....... you have been dethroned as my fav innocent little orpheus.... it is dylan now#he also did the rage part of if it's true SO WELL. his voice stayed completely sing-songy the entire time despite the yelling#so better than donal imo bc orpheus is supposed to sing the entire time!! no filthy notes there!!!#god. GOD. i was so nervous meeting him at stage door i said so many stupid things#melanie has also shocked me with a totally new hermes. i have a selfie with her now bucket list checked#lauren was persephone and she talked to us for such a long time.... she sang at croatia once....#she is apparently not even?????? professionally trained??????? WHAT??????? i fell on my ass hearing it#dylan stays as orpheus until february so i might have to return sooner rather than later........... hopefully........ pls.....#hadestown liveblog#when he turns around he is like ''shit. it is over. i am done. nothing left.'' he isn't even hurrying or hysterical he judt breaks down#he is so raw and hopeful and INNOCENT in it all.... the yearning on his face.... oh ym GOD
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okay now that maws has officially introduced the evil alternate superman concept into the show I think it’s necessary to point out that across nearly every dc media revolving around Superman going rogue (not including ones where his upbringing is changed) the tipping point for his every downfall is almost always the death of Lois Lane.
Superman The Animated Series - Brave New Metropolis - Lois is doing a story on Intergang and getting too close to exposing them, so they bomb her car. Clark takes this as a realization that he’s fighting a war, and so has to take extreme measures to protect people; these extreme measures include teaming up with Lex Luthor for the sake of his vast resources and establishing a dystopian police state within Metropolis, however it’s important to note that Luthor abused his newfound authority to that dystopian extent, and Clark was genuinely unaware of the city’s true conditions.
Injustice - The Joker tricks Superman into killing [a pregnant] Lois and destroying Metropolis by detonating a nuclear bomb she is strapped to. Superman goes mad with grief and rage, kills the Joker in that infamous fist-through-the-chest-heart-ripping panel, and continues to slowly deteriorate into an amoral dictator over the course of five years. Eventually he establishes a borderline-fascist regime called One Force Earth, ironically intended to “enforce global peace,” but at the cost of the entire world’s personal freedoms (STAS also had an episode about this, featuring Mala and General Zod as the dictators in question).
MAWS is heavily focused on Clark and Lois’ relationship and his status as an alien as elements of his becoming Superman–and given that we’ve already been shown glimpses of the multiverse, alternate Super-tyrants, and an entire legion of Loises who more or less survived their respective Clarks, I think it’s very possible that some of the Soups we see in Mxy’s orb are Supermen who’ve either lost their Loises or their upbringing with the Kents—Supermen who have utterly lost or utterly lacked the very elements that this show emphasizes as being what makes Clark who he is, and I think it would add so much more tension between Clark and Lois and the rest of the world to know that their safety and his sanity basically hinges on this one woman he’s fallen into major puppy-love with.
#I LOVE CLARK AND LOIS SOOOOO MUCH YOU DONT UNDERSTTAAANBBDDDD#HE LOVES HER SO MUCH IT MAKES ME SICK#maws#maws spoilers#my adventures with superman#superman the animated series#evil superman#injustice#injustice gods among us#injustice superman#brave new metropolis#lois lane#clark x lois#clois#clark kent#dc#dc superman#dc injustice#not to be yearnful but characters who love somebody so much they instantly become insane over it are my favorite full course meal#tryna slide jack kline into this like he obliterated his own soul and slowly cooked a man to death bc his dad vaguely suggested wanting it#and he went fully psychotic with grief over killing his grandmother to the point of using necromancy to bring her back and fix it ..#twirls hair#there’s also Smallville Red K Clark who basically got high to cope with Lana breaking up with him but I don’t think that counts#it’s kind of lame actually im sorry
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Congrats to old man yaoi pokemas event for winning over everyone's heart in both the japanese and worldwide voting for the trainer's tales competition by scoring in the top 5! 🥳🥂
#PLEASEEEEE i've been dead throughout september and this was what had me genuinely laugh in delight in 2 weeks 😭💖😭💖#AOKABU YOU WON OVER THE PEOPLE'S HEART!!!!! THE PEOPLE YEARN FOR OLD MAN YAOI @ POKEMAS!!!!!!#do you guys SEE how different the top 5 votes are yet aokabu remains consistently in it 🥹🥹🥹 this event was so fawking amazing oooh my god#now BRING THEM TOGETHER AGAIN FOR THEIR SYGNA SUIT EVENTS POKEMAS i know that you have the power to do it!!! 😭#guys let's bring out the champagne THIS IS A WIN FOR US ALL @ the maybe ~15 aokabu stans in tumblr dot com#aokabu#afterworkshipping#ossanshipping#larry x kabu#pokemon larry x kabu#gym leader kabu#gym leader larry#pokemas#pokemon#pokemon masters ex#pmex#pokemon scarlet and violet#pokemon sword and shield#elite four larry#swsh#scarvio#pokemon swsh#pokemon scarvio#pasio#galar#paldea#silverstreakshipping
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