#god i miss playing but boy do I HATE learning

[drgnmnts]

knuckles bruised (like violets) │ jacaerys velaryon x targaryen!OC

Title: knuckles bruised (like violets)

Pairing: Jacaerys Velaryon x Targaryen!OC (Daenys Targaryen, daughter of Viserys I Targaryen and Alicent Hightower)

Summary: There is no war so hateful to the gods as a war between kin, especially for those caught in between, longing only for peace as they're met with fire and blood.

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Chapter 1 - Child's Play

Word count: 1.7K

Born during a warm summer storm, Daenys Targaryen came into the world only one year after her brother Aemond, unaware that her arrival would be met with her father’s painful indifference and an ever-present frown on her mother’s brow. Daenys spent the first years of her life wondering what it could be that made her parents treat her so. The possibility of being an unwanted child quickly dissipated after Daeron was welcomed with warm caresses and kind smiles. She considered that her gender might be the reason for such treatment, but her mother doted on Helaena, and every one of her peculiarities was watched endearingly by the rest. Daenys even proved herself extraordinary when, at the age of nine, she claimed Silverwing, one of the largest dragons in the history of Westeros. This achievement earned her the praise of her uncle Daemon and the jealousy of Aemond, but to her mother, it was just another source of worry rather than a remarkable feat.

The answer came to her one morning as the maids made her and Helaena’s beds, unaware that she was still in the room, looking for a book: she resembled Rhaenyra too closely in her youth. Unfortunately, there was nothing Daenys could do to fix the issue her parents saw in her, for it was intrinsic to her very being. To her father, she was a disappointment, a feeble attempt at replacing the realm’s former delight; to her mother, a constant reminder of the girl she grew up with, a friend turned adversary she both despised and deeply missed in equal measure.

It was oddly liberating for Daenys to realize that it wasn’t something she had caused or could change, making any blame directed towards her utterly senseless. With time, Daenys learned to ignore their judgmental gazes, cutting remarks, and outright indifference. It hurt, yes, but Daenys was a dragon, and dragons had thick skin—thicker even than the armor of Aegon the Conqueror. 

She was now eleven, still a girl, but one who carried herself with regal composure and a dignity beyond her years. Daenys had long lost interest in her sibling’s squabbles or her nephew’s frolics: she only found true enjoyment in riding Silverwing. Her dragon was a magnificent beast, doing justice to her name with her silver scales that covered the entirety of her body, surpassed in size only by the old and mighty Vhagar. Unlike Laena Velaryon’s dragon, Silverwing was an affable and docile creature, considered friendly by the Dragonkeepers, which made sense given that her previous rider had been Good Queen Alysanne. Claiming Silverwing had given her a sense of belonging she had yearned for in her early childhood, reminding her that it did not matter what others saw in her: she was a Targaryen princess in her own right, a unique dragonrider with her own life and her own story. She might resemble her half-sister, but she was not her. 

Despite her obvious inability to treat Daenys as she deserved, Queen Alicent found comfort in her daughter’s disregard for the Velaryon boys.  This indifference was, of course, a result of the poison Alicent had been dripping into Daenys’ ear all her life, perhaps in an attempt to draw her girl away from Rhaenyra as much as possible. The Queen was fearful that her daughter would discover she had more in common with the King’s firstborn than just appearance, and her sons were the first tie she made sure to cut before it could bind them together. Thus, while Helaena played with little Lucerys and Aegon bickered with Jacaerys, Daenys simply ignored them, regarding the bastard boys as unworthy of her attention.

As Silverwing landed in the Dragonpit, her song alerting the Dragonkeepers that the Princess had returned from her morning ride, Daenys was met with her brother Aemond already there, watching. The egg placed in his cradle at birth had never hatched, and the boy still hadn’t found the courage in him to claim one of the wild ones. Daenys often thought about how unfair it was, since Aemond was more than eager to be a dragonrider, yet he might never know what it feels like to bond with one.

“Mother is cross with you,” he informed his sister as she patted Silverwing’s head, the dragon answering with a contented murmur. 

“I wonder why,” Daenys replied, showing no sign of concern over her brother’s words.

“You didn’t break your fast with us. You know she does not like it.”

“Ah, yes… I didn’t want to listen to them fighting about Rhaenyra’s baby,” she said, “has she had it yet?”

Aemond nodded and walked with his sister through the dark corridors connecting the Dragonpit to the Red Keep, his back straight, always trying to make himself look taller than he actually was.

“Yes. Another boy. Healthy and strong.”

At her brother’s comment, Daenys snorted. It was an ongoing joke between her and her brothers how Rahenyra’s offspring looked nothing like Laenor Velaryon and way too much like Ser Harwin Strong, the Commander of the City Watch. It was an insult to the realm, something Daenys condemned greatly, often using her mother’s words when discussing the issue with her siblings.

“I’ll apologize to mother, then. She must be upset enough as it is,” the girl stated, stopping at the door to her chambers. She was in urgent need of a bath, especially if she was planning to visit her mother. “I’ll be studying with Helaena in the afternoon, if you’d like to join.”

Aemond shook his head, his eyes kind when he looked at his sister. 

“Aegon’s asked me to accompany him to see how they feed Vermax. I don’t want to, but…”

“It’s alright, Aemond. Your moment will come, I’m sure of it,” she comforted him. “I wish mother would let us sail to Dragonstone… you could try to claim Vermithor. He coils with Silverwing when we fly to the Dragonmont, but never lets me get close.”

The idea had crossed Aemond’s mind more times than he cared to admit: their great-grandfather, Jahaerys I, had ridden Vermithor, just as his sister-wife Alysanne had ridden Silverwing. Their reign had been a peaceful and prosperous one, and the pair had loved each other dearly. It was a nice thought, one that Aemond indulged in whenever he pictured himself as a man: riding one of the largest dragons in the world, with his sister by his side.

A beautiful dream, but a childish one.

The door opened suddenly, a maid letting the Princess know that her bath was ready. With a squeeze on his arm, Daenys said goodbye to her brother and disappeared behind the heavy wooden doors.

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Queen Alicent was too busy feeling outraged by Princess Rhaenyra’s indecency, so Daenys avoided her mother’s scolding without much effort. Daenys was sitting next to Helaena, who was lost in her thoughts, explaining the various facts she knew about the bug she was examining. It was obvious that Alicent found her daughter’s explanations odd and perhaps a bit disturbing, but Daenys appreciated that at least her mother was making an effort to understand her, something that most people chose not to do. Listening to her sister’s voice, Daenys paid little attention to the book resting on her legs, a story about Valyrian customs. Helaena was a good sister, despite her distant mind and how little they had in common: where Daenys was daring and audacious, Helaena was calmer and gentler, both in speech and action. Sometimes, Daenys wished she could be a bit more like her sister; perhaps that way her mother would love her a little more.

“It has eyes, though… I don’t believe it can see,” Helaena explained, the centipede walking freely through her hands.

“And why do you think that is?” their mother asked.

“It is beyond our understanding,” she replied.

“Perhaps to cry for its own ugliness,” Daenys joked, and she could have sworn she saw the ghost of a laugh cross her mother’s features.

The door burst open, and a guard stepped inside the room, carrying Aemond by the arm. He was crying and covered in ash.

“After how many times you’ve been warned, must I confine you to your chambers?!” their mother scolded him, grabbing him by the arms to ensure he was unharmed.

“I just-,” he tried, but was quickly cut off by Alicent.

“What were you doing down there alone?”

Aemond’s eyes darted towards Daenys, which was enough for Alicent to draw her own conclusions.

“Again?!” she roared, letting go of Aemond and speeding toward Daenys. She grabbed her arm and pulled her up by the sleeve of her dress. “How many times do I have to tell you to stop filling your brother’s head with fantasies about those beasts?!”

“I didn’t! I just told him he would claim a dragon someday, it’s not-”

“As if he needed more encouragement!”

The grip Alicent had on her daughter’s arm started to hurt, and tears began to prickle at the corners of Daenys’ eyes.

“Mother, it wasn’t Daenys,” Aemond tried to defend his sister. “She encouraged me to claim a dragon, yes, but I wouldn’t have gone down to the Dragonpit had it not been for their teasing…”

“Whose?” the Queen inquired.

“Aegon,” Helaena chimed in, her eyes still observing her bugs, but somehow able to pinpoint the culprit right away.

“Yes, and… those bastards…” Aemond added, his voice barely a whisper when he pronounced the word. “They made fun of me, tricked me into believing they had found me a dragon and it… it was a pig,” he explained, visibly embarrassed.

It was only after realizing that it had been the boys who had pushed Aemond to act so recklessly that Alicent became aware of the strength she was using to hold her daughter’s arm. She immediately let go. Daenys’ face was red and her eyes watery, but the girl hadn’t uttered a word of protest to her mother’s abuse.

Alicent sighed, and for a moment she looked older than she was. 

“Go wash, Aemond,” the Queen commanded her son, who turned on his heel immediately, making his way to his quarters. “We shall finish later, yes?” she proposed to Helaena, who had been a mere witness to the whole spectacle. She bent down to kiss her eldest daughter’s head and, without sparing Daenys a single look, left the girls’ chambers. It was only in Helaena’s solitary company that Daenys allowed herself to cry. Her arm hurt, but what hurt the most was that not a single day went by without her mother scolding her for something she had done or said. 

“Don’t cry, Daenys,” she heard Helaena say after some time, her gentle fingers combing through her little sister's hair. “None of this will matter soon.”

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No Jace in this chapter, but he's coming! I just wanted to set the tone a bit and introduce our lovely Daenys.

If you liked this, let me know in any way! :)

[writingchalamet]

Angels Like You IV

Angels like you I

Angels like you II

Angels like you III

AN: it’s here! Sorry for taking so long, my nephews have been staying with me this week and keep trying to look at my laptop while I write 💀

Word count: 3.5k

Warnings: violence, blood, MATT (because everyone hates Matt) trauma, breaking and entering, SMUT, heavy petting, oral (f receiving) fingering.

You’re welcome…

Chapter IV

Matt didn’t like seeing you with Bucky one bit. The thought that you had moved on so ‘quickly’ after him sent his mind into overdrive. He was good at hinting in the shadows, the day he left the bakery beaten and broken he didn’t go to a hospital or return home like he should have, he waited. Watching in the shadows until you inevitably got in your car and drove home, where he followed, rage simmering inside him. He watched from a distance as Bucky ushered you into your house after collected his child. It was the first time he actually saw the kid, and he hated to say it but he felt a tingle inside him, not the warm fuzzy, loving feeling a father should feel when they see their baby for the first time. But one of hatred. The kid he laid his eyes on was the one thing that took you away from him.

So he bided his time. And watched. He learned your routine, your ins and outs of the house, learned how your new play thing never really left your side much. You hadn’t left the house much since the incident but he liked to spot your movements through the house, you almost worked like clockwork, around the house, doing everything for the child, he despised it, that should be him that you were running around for in there, taking care of, cooking for, god he missed your cooking. One thing he hated more though was the way he saw you and Bucky looking at each other, even through windows he could feel the tension, making him want to tear his own eyes out.

He just needed to wait for the perfect opportunity, and that came the night that Sam came and took the kid over to the neighbours house, Matt figured something must be going on, they must be leaving the house, he had a chance, a chance to do what exactly he didn’t know, but he’d figure that out soon enough. He saw your neighbours leave your house, then you and your new man head out looking all dolled up, he couldn’t stand the sight of it, he waited a while longer, waiting for all the lights to shut off next door before making his move, he travelled to the back of the house, hopping the fence, scurrying across the garden until he reached the back door, taking off his leather jacket, balling it around his fist, he smashed the panel of glass closest to the lock, reaching through the newly made hole, flicking the lock open and letting himself into your home.

He took in the scent as he stepped through the threshold. Bergamot and orange blossom tingled in his nostrils, the strong smell instantly reminding him of you. He wondered aimlessly at first, taking in the sight of your home. The warm homey touches that covered every inch of the house, it sickened him. The house was spottles, considering a toddler lived there, but then again, he had trained you well, he didn't like you to be messy, he was glad to see you still kept things tidy just how he liked. Not that he was clean. he ventured up the stairs to find a bedroom t the end of the hall with the word 'Forrest' hung on the door in Buntin. He guessed that was the name of his child, he still didn't know if it was a girl or a boy, you had kept that fact well hidden from him. He stepped towards the room, opening the door with a creek, finding an array of colourful toys, a Peter Pan mural painted on the walls and fluffy cloud lamps and light fixtures. Even the cot bed had been made pristine, this woman was conditioned he thought to himself.

He looked through the small chest of drawers under the changing table fiddling with some of the small shirts when his eye landed on one baby grow in particular, a 'mama's boy' one, it felt like another kick in the teeth to know he had a son, in some sick way to him it felt like another man to take you away from him. He wished you had never ran away, that he had never left that day so he would have been able to sort this whole problem out, there would be no Forrest, and it could just be the two of you again. No he'd have to sort out the Forrest problem another time, when the little bleeder was home.

He came out of the room and closed the door behind him. next finding your bedroom, the room smelt sweet like your perfume, the smell overwhelming him, he walked to your vanity noticing the makeup you had left out, you never wore makeup when you were with him, his mind hurt at the thought of you dressing up to go out with another man, he looked over at the bed, thinking about all the different things Bucky has probably done to you in that bed. Matt stormed out the room and back down the stairs until he found the Kitchen, deciding to wait there for your return, which apparently wouldn't be too long a wait. He heard the front door opening as well as the distinct sound of kissing, the occasional grunt and soft moans from you, He stood in the doorway of the kitchen waiting for you to notice him, only for him to realise you were to caught up to care there was an intruder in your house. He flicked the light on beside him, sparking your fright.

"Well, isn't this cosy?" he spoke smugly, head tilted, sly sile on his face, even with his hand all bandaged up and the dark circles under his eyes, he still acted as though he was God's gift to the earth. before you have a chance to explain yourself Bucky chimes in from his place behind you. arms strong and protective around your waist. "What are you doing here, Matt?" he oozed confidence when he spoke, and almost seemed unbothered. "Just come to take what's mine" Matt sneered, daring to take a step closer, Bucky tightened his hold around your waist as he felt you shiver. "Oh, yeah, and what's that exactly, because I don't think you own anything in this house..." Matt scoffed at his response, there was something wild in his eyes, you just couldn't tell what it was.

"You know, I had a nice look around, Forrest, that the name of my son? You could have picked a better name Y/n really, and leaving him with the neighbours so you can fuck some random guy? You really are a whore" You tore away from Bucky's arms leaping forwards, slapping Matt so hard across the face your hand ached, you could see you had left an indentation on his cheek, the skin flared red and raised slightly. "You don't get to say his fucking name, get out" Matt held his cheek, shocked that you would dare to speak to him that way let alone lash out at him, you had been away from him too long. He lifted his hand up and cupped your cheek in his hand, softly which shocked you, Bucky took a step forwards but soon stopped when he saw you signal him to still. You looked into Matt's eyes, noticing how dead his eyes truly looked. "Come back to me please, I love you. You can leave the kid here and we'll go" It frightened you how fast it was for his emotions to change. You took his hand of your face and let it drop by his side, shaking your head.

"I will never be with you, ever again, you need to understand that Matt, you can't keep doing this, please just leave us alone" You spoke quietly to him, hoping he would hear you out. A sad laugh left his lips , shaking his head, "I'll get you one way or another, whether I have to take you fighting or dead, but I'm not gonna lose you Y/n, I don't lose..."

“You already have” you knew you’d regret those words the second they hit your brain but you couldn’t stop your mouth from saying them. You saw the way his nostrils flared and how he gritted his teeth, you could practically hear them grinding together in his mouth, he yanked on your wrist pulling you closer to him, Bucky stepping even closer ready to pull him away, “you’ll fucking regret that, I’m gonna make you wish that little brat was never born” You closed your eyes expecting to feel pain as Matt raised his hand, but as quickly as it was raised, it was gone, for Bucky had put himself in between the two of you, pushing you away gently with one arm while attacking with the other.

The sound of bones crushing, and blood splattering rung through your ears. The image of Matt having his face repeatedly slammed against your kitchen counter both terrified and elated you. Seeing Bucky in this feral state made your heart thump uncontrollably out of your chest. You called out for him to stop but the sound was lost to the deafening sound of Matt's cries. Through the commotion of the yelling and the sound of things smashing to the ground you missed the sound of Sam entering the house through the front door shield in hand. Sam ran over attempting to tear Bucky away, Bucky's face turning to horror once he saw what he had done. He stood over Matt's body watching his face swell and weep with blood, as he screwed himself into the foetal position on the floor, coughing and spluttering all over the tiles.

Blue and red flashing lights surround the kitchen as the promise of help fills the room. "You Okay man?" Sam asks nodding at Bucky, he stayed silent, giving a sharp tilt of his head, stretching out his fingers on his virbranium hand, wiping the blood off onto his shirt. You went to his side, stroking your hand down his chest hoping to gain his attention, his eyes met yours, but they were shallow, you touched his face softly, making sure his eyes stayed on you "You're okay, thank you for protecting me" He wrapped his arms around your shoulders pulling you flush against him, burrowing his head in the crook of your neck. "It's- (coughs) cap- Captain America" Matt spluttered out, a combination of drool and blood oozing from his mouth, he seemed delirious after taking several punches to the head. "Yeah, and you're in a whole lotta trouble" Sam scoffed, turning to open the front door as the police and paramedics came up the drive.

After being checked over and giving statements to the police, you couldn't help but smile at the sight of Matt being handcuffed in the back of an ambulance, with the promise from the police that not only breaking and entering, but breaking his restraining order and continued harassment should be enough to keep him behind bars, if not only for a while, you were free.

Yourself and Bucky were sitting on the couch in your living room, the both of you quiet, not knowing what to say to one another. You decided to make the first move, opting to face him on the sofa, sitting cross legged opposite from him. His head turned in query as to what you were doing, but soon turned to face you. "So, what a way to end a first date..." you let the words linger, searing his face for any sign of amusement. A small smile lifted to his lips as your words sunk in, his head tilting towards you. "It was a date huh?" he smirked, eyes lighting up a tad more, losing the dullness that had reached them earlier. "We went for dinner, we laughed and you kissed me, then you saved me from Matt, I'd say that's a pretty successful date, wouldn't you?" You leaned forwards, brushing hand along the vibranium limb that sat along the back of the sofa. He laughed nodding. "So you had a good time up until the end?" he queries. "I had a great time, the entirety of it, no one has ever stood up for me the way you do, I'm really grateful...I just wish we hadn't been interrupted" You could feel yourself drawing closer to him, the magnetic buzz between you was back.

Bucky inched closer to you, his face mere centimetres from yours, his breath was warm across your face, he smelt like his cologne and a tint of dried blood, it was enough to send you into a frenzy. "What would you have wanted to happen if we were uninterrupted?" He bumped his nose against yours, tilting your head to the side, gliding his nose over neck, smelling your sweet scent, brushing his lips against your neck with feather light touches. "I'd let you do anything you wanted to me, you can take whatever you want" your breath was nothing more than a gasp as he kissed his way up your neck. "Careful, doll, I might actually do it" his breath fanned your face as he kissed around your cheeks, and jaw. He felt the way your fingers dug into the metal of his arm. "I want you to Bucky" in one swift movement he hauled you into his lap, his arms encasing your body, you squeaked as he lifted you, laying your hands on his broad shoulders feeling the muscles under his shirt. Smoothing over the soft fabric. His own hands wandered, feeling over the silk of your dress, slipping the fabric and bunching it up at your thighs, you gasped at the cool feeling of the metal hand digging into your flesh.

His lips delved in first, yours meeting in the meeting, melting together, melting together in a frantic fashion. His tongue brushed along your bottom lip, asking for access, you opened your mouth wider gladly receiving him. His tongue massaged its way into your mouth gliding along your own tongue. You gripped his shoulders a little tighter, his flesh hand gliding up the front of your body, in between the valley of your breast, settling around your neck. He kissed you as if he had kissed you a thousand times before. It felt natural. You started moving your hips against his, slowly and unintentional at first, but at first sound of your pleasure, Bucky soon started guiding your hips, working you back and forth loving the sounds of the soft mewls coming from your mouth. “Good girl, lie back for me”  

You settled back onto the sofa, leaning your head on the arm rest, Bucky settled between your legs, continuing to kiss and nip at your neck while you got yourself comfortable, you giggled as his stubble tickled the sensitive skin between your neck and collar bone, throwing your head back against the arm rest. “God, I want to hear that sound for the rest of my life” he muttered as he kissed his way down your chest, his hands massaging their way over your body, squeezing at your breasts, you moaned his name quietly urging him not to stop. “I could listen to that too” His vibranium hand pushed up the silk skirt of your dress until it was fully bunched up around your waist, exposing the most precious lacey white underwear he’s ever laid his eyes on. He nuzzled his head into your sternum holding onto your waist tightly, kissing your stomach, he noticed small scars the further he pushed your dress up, some obvious burn marks where Matt must have put out cigarettes on you, others small, jagged like the one on your face. He noticed the slight hesitation in your eyes as he kissed over your stomach. “You’re beautiful you know that” you nodded, eyes fluttering as he headed further down south.

“Tell me to stop at any time, I just want you to feel good okay” your eyes met and you watched as he settled between your thighs, placing each of them over his shoulders, you swore you had died and gone to heaven, the sight of the beautiful blue eyed man kissing the soft skin of your inner thighs, swearing only to make you feel good. His arms wrapped around your waist once more pulling you closer to him, the force making you let out a straggled moan. Bucky pressed a kiss to your covered pussy, a shiver running up your spine. He continued to kiss at the bundle of nerves through the lace of your underwear, your back arching upwards in pleasure.

Moving his vibranium hand down he slipped the material to the side, pressing a cool metal digit onto your clit, swirling in circles, you gasped, hips jutting forwards, his flesh hand around your waist, pinning you back down holding you in place. You watched him as he stared at your pussy, glistening with arousal for him, dripping down onto the sofa, he looked like a hunter waiting to dine on his prey, you only opened your legs a little further for him, encouraging him in. Not a second later he dived in.

Lips wrapping around your clit, sucking and kissing it with the perfect pressure, you weee sure your head would explode, he swirled his tongue around the pulsing nerve enjoying the whimpers and moans that escaped your lungs, he looked up while continuing his assault, watching the way your chest would rise and fall, how your head had fallen back on the arm rest, exposing your neck, breathing so heavily the vein stuck out on your neck. He reached up with his flesh hand, palming your left breast, your back arching into his touch.

He licked at the entrance of your cunt, sucking up some of the wetness that had dripped out, “Bucky” you moaned his name for the first time sending vibrations through his entire body, straight to his cock. “You like that doll?” You nodded letting out another staggered moan as he fucked his tongue into your hole. He could feel your walls clenching around his tongue, he withdrew the muscle only for you to sit up in protest, you whine at the loss of contact but soon that turns into a whine of pleasure when one of metal digits enters you instead. Your eyebrows furrow in pleasure, sitting up on your elbows so you could watch him better.

You saw the smirk on his face while he slowly entered you, seemingly rubbing all the right spots, the cool of the metal mixed with the searing heat of your walls creating a beautiful blend of warmth. “That feel better babydoll?” Your brain couldn’t comprehend words at this current moment, your back arching and head falling back onto the sofa arm once more. “I’ll take that as a yes” he spoke smugly, working his finger in and out, applying the perfect amount of pressure, lips reattaching to your clit.

You could feel a heat raising inside you, one that you had never reached with another person before. You tangled your fingers through his hair, tugging him impossibly closer to your heat. You were panting, hips rutting into his face, you were sure you’d never felt this level of pleasure in your life. He soon found your g spot, softly nudging it over and over again, earning himself a lewd moan of his name, he could feel your walls clenching and spasms around his finger, he knew you were close, looking up loving the sight before his eyes. Sweat kissing your skin, mouth ajar with gasps and moans, chest raised to the sky. You were right there. “Be a good girl y/n, I want you to cum”

He spoke into your cunt and you fell apart. A scream making its way from your lungs while you writhed. He sucked and lapped up all the juices as they dripped from your pussy, sucking you dry, your body shaked and you felt yourself going limp. Bucky lifted himself up settling above you, leaning down to press a kiss to your lips, you involuntarily moaned at the taste of your essence on his lips. He pulled back smiling like a Cheshire Cat. “Did you enjoy that” with your legs still trembling beside his hips and a blissed out look on your face, it should have been telling enough. “You have no idea, no one has ever made me feel that good before, you sergeant James Barnes may have just ruined masterbating for me for life” you sighed, throwing your head back dramatically. He laughed , leaning forwards to press another kiss to your lips. He settled down after a moment, laying his head on your chest, listening to the thrum of your heart, while your fingers combed through his hair. You can’t remember a time that you felt so at home and relaxed while not with your son.

The two of you laid there most the night, talking away, sharing the odd kiss, and eventually falling asleep in the same position, only waking when the first sight of sunlight streamed through the living room curtains. The sight of the man still sleeping soundly, on your chest with his arms wrapped snuggly around you, you felt complete and safe, for the first time in a long time.

Tag list:

@unaxv @mrsnikstan @ilovetaquitosmmmm @scott-loki-barnes @lilyyxoii @cakesandtom @senjoritanana @meganwritesfanfics @onceithough @floralwsloki

[letsgetrowdy43]

Wedding bells—

Quinn Hughes x reader

Request: 🌼 Quinn - he’s drunk and you have you take care of him, I feel like he’d be a cute cuddly drunk

Captain Huggy Celly

Brady's wedding was beautiful, in every sense of the word. Every detail felt so intimate and romantic, from the ceremony and reception, even down to the colour of the tablecloth. The moment the Hughes family stepped foot on the venue, Y/n knew it would be an amazing day, and she was right.

That same sense of love seeped into the night as the sunset and the drinking started. Quinn was the centre of Y/n's attention all day, looking as handsome as ever in his groomsman suit, with a fresh haircut for the big day, and a wide-lopsided grin.

He watched as his best friend, his brother more or less, became a husband. The realization that they were adults was heavy as Brady kissed his bride. Nostalgia filled his senses as he looked down at the crowd to look at Y/n watching him, tears in her eyes at the love in the air as he smirked at her.

As the night rolled in so did the party, everyone found themselves inside the reception hall, live music playing as the drinks poured and the dancing started.

A wide smile found its way onto Quinn's face as Ellen pulled him out to the dance floor. Luke looked at her with a grin and extended his hand, "my mom stole your man," he joked as she took his hand and let him lead her to the dance floor. "He is her son," the girl shrugged as Luke and she kept a friendly distance as they danced around the floor, giggling at Jack who was stuck dancing with the flower girl, a face full of what seemed embarrassment and adoration as the little girl made him twirl around.

She loved this family, she thought to herself as Luke spun her around and Jim took pictures from the sidelines.

"Your wedding will be nicer than this," Luke mused as she looked at him with an amused look. "It'll be pretty hard to beat this," she shrugged. Luke shook his head, "I don't think so, no one loves like you and Quinn love each other," the boy said sweetly making the woman's face soften.

Y/n smiled softly at the thought of her wedding day. She would be happy just eloping if that's what Quinn wanted, but the fuss would be nice, the intimacy, the romanticism of it all was something she had dreamed of since she was a little girl. Marriage wasn't a foreign subject to her mind, Quinn and her had discussed the subject frequently, both agreeing on a small wedding on some vineyard in Kelowna, wanting the homey feeling of summer to surround them on their special day, very Quinn and Y/n-esque.

Her brows furrowed as she pulled away from her thoughts, searching the crowd for Quinn. Ellen was now sat at a table with Jim and the Tkachuk parents, and Quinn was nowhere to be found.

"Do you see Q?" the girl mumbled to Luke who was quietly laughing at the scene unfolding in front of his eyes. Brady, Josh, and Quinn were going shot for shot at the bar as the band started to play some more upbeat songs. "Oh god," Y/n laughed as she and Luke approached the bar. "Have fun with that," he patted his sister-in-law on the back and left in search of his other brother.

Quinn grinned shyly at his girlfriend as she approached the bar, "Looks like you three are reliving the university days," her brows raised as Josh laughed. "Learn to live a little Y/n/n," Brady joked as he set off to look for his wife. The woman's jaw dropped as Josh mumbled his agreeance with Brady, "your friends love to hate me Q." "Fuck 'em Dove, they suck," he said with a sickeningly sweet smile as his arm found its way around her torso, hugging her closely to his side as she looked at Josh and stuck her tongue out at him.

The girl turned to look up at her boyfriend, a hazy drunk look taking over his face as he dipped down and kissed her on the cheek, something he'd practically been dying to do all day, missing her touch, her warmth.

His hands squeezed her hips as she grinned at the attention, "you look a little drunk my love," he grinned and nodded. "Drunk on your love," he whispered smoothly into her ear before kissing her on the neck, her face heated up as she melted into his hold, "Sorry, that was cheesy," he admitted. "I liked it," she grinned and took one of the hands on her hip and kissed his knuckle, the two of them swayed to the music as they watched the newlyweds family come together to dance.

"I want our wedding to be like this," she mumbled as he grinned into her shoulder. "With fewer people?" he asked, smiling as she nodded, "we should get married soon," he suggested followed by a hiccup, her eyes widening at his nonchalant idea. "You need to propose first my love," she said cooly, her fingers intertwining with his. Quinn chuckled and placed another kiss on the sweet spot on her neck, "I'm working on it Dove, promise," The smell of whiskey hit her senses as she spun around and captured his lips with hers.

Perfect, her life was perfect in every sense of the word.

-

-

-

I steered away from the prompt I'm sorry!! but I just started writing and lost sense of my original plan :)

[book--wyrm]

Pengu Finale Liveblog ahhhhhh

Julian just absolutely brain blasting this old woman

Oh Rex is close enough to call her doll and make her breakfast he is not beating the deadbeat daddy allegation

OH NO DOES SHE KNOW OH MY GOD SHE KNOWS

NEVERMIND I WAS SO WRONG ABOUT EVERYTHING SHE HAS KNOWN ALL ALONG

holy shit holy shit holy shit

okay so they did find the bodies eventually holy fuck hooooooly fuck

oh my god rex literally teaching francis how to manipulate oz and use him oh my god ohhhhh my god this is so much more of a betrayal than if francis had just hated him for what he'd done

she knew all along she knew all along and she used him and she

she

oz was right ahahahahah every relationship in his life is fuckign transactional because he KILLED THE ONLY TWO BOYS WHO TRULY LOVED HIM, AND KILLED HIS MOTHER'S LOVE WITH THEM

dude he has to kill his mother now

this is a psychological nuke the likes of which i think sofia could not possibly have ever imagined.

Francis's FACE oh my god.

Julian baby boy maybe Sofia should stand out of sight to not break immersion

God this is absolutely not how hypnotism works is it

IT'LL BE EASIER NOW YOU LITTLE PSYCHO

"I see you in ways other people don't" while she is ACTIVELY USING HIM

dude. dude. I just. It's always the same with Oz, isn't it. Sofia, Eve, his mom. He's the biggest bullshitter in Gotham, and he's so full of it he doesn't have a clue how to sniff it out

God they are both so horrific to each other. Just his horrible cycle of selfishness and toxicity what a twisted family they are

HELLO VIC I MISSED YOU

Oh rip lmao I guess the gangs know the bliss is all gone

Vic baby he's saying all the same stuff oz does, only he believes it, so he can't bullshit people to his side

Oh hey that dude on the other side of the walkie talkie lived!!

Man Oz and Sofia haven't been face to face since ep 4 hahahaha

BERTO MENTION. she hasn't used that name in a hot second

Oh my god Sofia literally using that bird nest metaphor ahahahh whoever that anon was in my inbox you are a genius

Man. Sofia literally just laying out all their horrible family drama in the worlds worst family therapy oh my god

Dude I've been saying for weeks now that Sofia's superpower is to completely shatter people with the truth and. ohhhhhh my god ohhhhhh my god ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Wait. Is Sofia going to give that cigar cutter in her cleavage to Francis to use on Oz. I think she should give it to her.

Uh. Nevermind

Wow Sofia really is leaning into this evil therapy thing what the fuck. girl.

God i desperately want her to be the girl-jonkler running the aslume at the end of this show please please please

Also Sofia, I think it was the left. I mean I'm sure she knows just so she can do the other one next, but. man. she is fuckin sadistic. im love....

Julian so enthusiastic about all of this hahaahah

I love Sofia like, almost framing this to them or possibly herself as a gift she is giving to Francis. Is this cope? Is this something she sincerely believes? Or is she just being cruel?

I ALREADY FUCKIN KNOW

It's my finger you spineless prick hahahaahha but that doesn't matter to him because its your love he wants it's your adoration your pride and what actually happens to you? Doesn't fucking matter.

I NEVER STOPPED HATING YOU

Sofia's face right then like. damn dude. god i love her

She had enough love for all of them and he soured every last drop of it. For them, for him, for the world.

Sofia really does know the value of just letting a drama play out.

Francis saying Sofia is right this ep, Sofia saying Francis was right last ep, damn.

Oz really is... the only character in this show chronically incapable of learning

Damn mama cobb strong enough to smash a bottle. I don't think even i could do that.

Oh my god no wonder she said "they look at me like i'm not even theirs" because in her mind, she let their murderer go free

also is oz gonna hulk out that she's showing love to an imaginary jack and benny when oz has just seen her hate?

Oh is she just dying right now

Julian doing the get down mr president

MR DETECTIVE YOU DIPSHIT

Sofia baby you did great okay you already hurt Oz please just go to italy with your boy toy

Wow is he not getting this fucking stab looked at

EW EW EW EW

Yeah sure sure. Sofia stabbed you. Sure. Sure.

Oh noooo. Vic... baby.... he is such a believer in Oz's stupid self serving bullshit. He is so good. And pure. And he speaks from the heart and. And Oz acts like this is something Vic rehearsed

And they laugh about it but Vic doesn't understand. He doesn't understand that Oz isn't giving him advice on how to most effectively show people the fire you hold in your heart—he's teaching him the art of smoke and mirrors. how to con and grift and bullshit until even you don't know what's true and real

Christ. Vic is so fucking dead

She'd never look at me again unless i get this done.

Oz knowing now that this love is transactional. And fine. He'll make that transaction, he'll take down sofia and then maybe his mom will pretend again that she doesn't hate him, doesn't want him dead

it's not going to work, of course. it can't because this show is about him becoming the penguin. and it can't, because even that transaction was always a lie Francis told herself

I don't think she could ever have loved Oz even if he'd gotten her into a penthouse at age 20. I think she lied to herself to survive living with him, because what was the alternative? Losing all three of her boys?

AHAHAHAHAHAH SOFIA LITERALLY PICKING UP OZ'S GOLD SUMMIT MEMBERS i have to say. I did not anticipate this at ALL

damn girlie really is just gonna dip to go to italy or wherever

sofia really is just setting up the funniest game of capture the flag imaginable while cramming like seven olives in her mouth

i dont' say this often. i desire her carnally.

The gun in the glove compartment surely that will not come back later

Oz originally checking his image in the reflection of the car vs asking Vic now, treating this kid as his reflection

Damn. Is Link really going to fall for Oz's shit again after that truck of cigs thing? Or is this just a ploy to get Oz into the right place for Sofia to pick him up?

Actually maybe that's what loses Vic, that Link betrayed him, and Oz expected it. Idk we shall see

Penguin planning to run for mayor in a couple movies?

Oh Oz is totally gonna send sofia to arkham ahahaha poor baby

Oh my god I thought Sofia was gonna claim credit for Sal's death, not that Oz would give it up himself

I cannot tell you guys how fucking tempting it is to skip right to the end of this episode to see if i'm right you guys

Wow Oz really eyeing that Mayor's office

Is he going to kill Bella and frame Sofia. Is he gonna kill bella and THAT is what turns Vic on him.

oh my god LINK

HAHAHAH I WAS SO RIGHT SHE IS BURNING DOWN FALCONE MANOR

oh god that's the watch Sofia gave him for his birthday FUCK YOU CARMINE

Sofia really is gonna fucking screw over EVERYONE hahaha THREE CIGS BABY

oh god she is so hot i love her you self actualize through arson baybeeeeeeee

that shot of her throwing the cig like a dart is so much oh my god

babygirl i love you

you deserve the world

but yeah she is going into the cold according to the needle drop. definitely going back to arkham

... what's in the trunk. i don't think it's normal luggage. is it more bombs

there is still 20 mins left. i am afraid

This is clearly a trap for someone i just don't know who. Where is vic

I'm so afraid this is the last we get to see of Sofia.

She knows. She always has such a nose for bullshit lmao. Also fuck you Link you gotta know Oz is gonna stab you in the back.

I do think it's promising that Julian has not been seen all day tho. What is he doing.

I love this. I love that Oz and Sofia finally get this one moment to be truly honest with each other.

Well. At the very least, Oz gets to be honest with Sofia. idk that he knows how to be honest with himself anymore.

Why does this look like a chemical factory. I know it's not happening but it'd be so funny for Sofia to become the joker right now.

just dunk her in the goop

Man. Is he actually going to shoot her. Police pls come and save my girl. Cannot believe that's what I'm begging for now.

oh my god

yeah i called it but. Man. This is so painful to watch. also i think my julian prayers are not going to be answered it did not look like Sofia had planned any of this

okay i'm normal about sofia being arrested now.

Okay. I'm normal.

I'm back to not being normal francis and vic and oz all in one place this is all gonna blow up emotionally

Is francis in a coma. is she totally brain dead oh my god.

oh man she really is never going to say she loves him hahaha

she let jack and benny's murderer go and it never got her anything

is he gonna kill her now.

TELL ME YOU'RE PROUD OF ME oz you fuckin

he's so fucking delusional jesus putting her hand on his head

dude. is Vic actually gonna live through this episode

holy fuck

did not call that in the least

well. i was right about the pyrrhic victory for Oz

"All kinds of things" shut the fuck up.

God. I cannot believe Vic is living through this show. Admittedly as the kind of guy that his parents would have been ashamed of, but.

Wait. No no

don't

don't do it

no nondfonfodnfodnfodfn

please dont

pelase dont

oz don't you dare

nONONNNONONONONONONONONONONONO

PLEASE DOJNT DO IT NOW PLEAE

NO NO HE IS THEO NLY ONE WHO HAS SEEN THE WEAKNESS AND HUMAN IN YOU

OZ YOU

OZ

NO

WITH YOUR HANDS???? WITH YOUR FUCKIGN HANDS???? I THOUGHT HE WOUDL PULL A GUN AT LEAST YOU FUCKING

ODSOFANDFONSODNOSDAGNOGNIOAGDSASGJDISGNAGLNFGOSANFOSDO

SANO

NON NO NONONONO

VIC

vic. vic. vic barely lived a month longer than his family

all that good heart and he just. enabled a monster to rise to power. to make gotham worse

HE'S MUGGING HIM

YOU PIECE OF SHIT YOU PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT YOU BASTARD YOU

i

i

and the water takes him too.

JULIAN

oH MY GOD I WAS RIGHT AHHAAHHAHAHA

JULIAN

I WAS RIGHT ABOUT SOFIA GETTING MARRIAGE PROPOSALS HAHAHAHAHAH

SELINA KYLE???????? HELLO??????????????

bro.... oh my god..... this is....

I'm so happy.........

sofia smiling... sofia finding a new family member....

nvm i am so glad my original theories were wrong this is way better than anything i could have hoped for

oh my god

ohhhhh my god he actually is keeping his mom in a vegetative state.... exactly what she begged him not to do.......

she knows.... she knows... some part of her is aware in there ahahahahah

you should have let Rex kill him all those years ago

oh my god EVE???? EVE GIRL GET OUT BEFORE HE KILLS YOU TOO

oh no please tell me he never learned what happened with sofia and eve

hes literally just calling her ma. fuck me. mayeb that means eve is safe for now

NOT THE BATSIGNAL

[miffyisms]

⋆࿐໋˖𓍢ִִ໋ taylor swift - the tortured poets department (anthology) , ♡

various prompts from the selected media can be found below. it is important to read the rules of the receiving blog before sending any. feel free to change any pronouns to better suit your needs. the selected media can possibly be triggering to some, please be advised !

am i allowed to cry?

i don't cater to all these vipers dressed in empath's clothing.

nostalgia is a mind's trick.

i can hold my breath.

then we could all just laugh until i cry.

i'm seeing visions, am i bad?

it wasn't a fair fight or a clean kill.

just say when, i'd play again.

oh, was it punishment?

oh my god, you should see your faces.

blood's thick, but nothin' like a payroll.

now you know what it feels like.

you're in self-sabotage mode, throwing spikes down on the road.

this town is fake, but you're the real thing.

were you writing a book?

the devil that you know.

well, you took me to hell too.

six weeks of breathing clean air, i still miss the smoke.

go on, fuck me up.

you deserve prison, but you won't get time.

i touched you for only a fortnight.

honestly, who are we to fight the alchemy?

you say i abandoned the ship, but i was going down with it.

nothing makes me feel more alive.

who the fuck was that guy?

but when i count the scars, there's a moment of truth that there wouldn't be this if there hadn't been you.

even if i die screaming, i hope you hear it.

no one's ever had me, not like you.

yes, i'm haunted, but i'm feeling just fine.

i built a legacy that you can't undo.

fuck it if i can't have us.

i'm miserable!

i'm gonna get you back.

i'll tell you something about my good name, it's mine alone to disgrace.

so tell me everything is not about me, but what if it is?

my boy only breaks his favorite toys.

tell me all your secrets.

you know you're good when you can even do it with a broken heart.

what if your eyes looked up and met mine.

i swept in at the rescue.

now i'm down bad, crying at the gym.

i'm so afraid i sealed my fate.

i chose this cyclone with you.

all my mornings are mondays stuck in an endless february.

you were sleeping soundly when they dragged you from your bed.

it wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden.

i can't pretend like i understand.

i'm just getting color back into my face.

i'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free.

i stopped cpr, after all, it's no use

it was unnecessary, should've let it stay buried.

we both did the best we could do underneath the same moon.

you shit-talked me under the table.

touch me while your bros play grand theft auto.

you said you were gonna grow up then you were gonna come find me.

i'm combing through the braids of lies.

no way i'm gonna screw up, now that i know what's at stake.

you told me i'm the love of your life.

you kicked out the stage lights, but you're still performing.

tell me something awful.

i am what i am 'cause you trained me.

how did it end?

in fifty years will all this be declassified?

was any of it true?

there's a lot of people in town that i bestow upon my fakest smiles.

how dare you think it's romantic, leaving me safe and stranded.

they knew the whole time that i was onto something.

i just learned these people only raise you to cage you.

i dreamed about it in the dark the night i felt like i might die.

all of this to say, i hope you're okay.

i didn't opt in to be your odd man out.

move to florida, buy the car you want.

in plain sight you hid.

i'm bitter, but i swear i'm fine.

please, i've been on my knees.

just how low did you think i'd go before i'd self-implode?

who's gonna stop us from waltzing back into rekindled flames if we know the steps anyway?

pull me to the backseat.

way up there, i actually love it.

at dinner, you take my ring off my middle finger and put it on the one people put wedding rings on.

i hate it here.

what if the way you hold me is actually what's holy?

i should've known it was a matter of time.

they're gonna crucify me anyway.

he was my best friend.

this happens once every few lifetimes.

i can't forgive the way you made me feel.

does it feel alright to not know me?

you said some things that i can't unabsorb.

i just don't understand how you don't miss me.

i felt more when we played pretend.

the future's bright, dazzling.

i've seen this episode and still loved the show.

please know that i tried to hold onto the days when you were mine.

are you still a mind reader?

i'll save all my romanticism for my inner life and i'll get lost on purpose.

tell me i'm despicable, say it's unforgivable.

do you believe me now?

still alive, killing time at the cemetery

is it somethin' i did?

i read about it in a book when i was a precocious child.

you caged me, and then you called me crazy.

bet they never spared a prayer for my soul.

i stopped trying to make him laugh.

he just hadn't met me yet.

you ain't gotta pray for me.

i won't confess that i waited, but i let the lamp burn.

all your life, did you know you'd be picked like a rose?

i'm tryin' to stifle my sighs.

if you wanted me dead, you should've just said.

it's happening again.

i don't think you've changed much.

are you gonna marry, kiss, or kill me?

i don't believe in good luck now that i know what's what.

all that time you were throwing punches, i was building something.

i know i'm just repeating myself.

fuck 'em, it's over.

little did you know, your home's really only a town you're just a guest in.

i wanna kill him.

i forget if this was ever fun.

love's never lost when perspective is earned.

you didn't measure up in any measure of a man.

my friends used to play a game where we would pick a decade we wished we could live in instead of this.

if you want to tear my world apart just say you've always wondered.

what we thought was for all time, was momentary.

do that impression you did of your dad again.

you see i was a debutant in another life but now i seem to be scared to go outside.

you just watched it happen.

so if you want to break my cold, cold heart, say you loved me.

what a charming saturday.

they tried to warn him about her.

then say they didn't do it to hurt me, but what if they did?

i just don't understand.

i was a functioning alcoholic 'till nobody noticed my new aesthetic.

no one asks any questions here.

my friends said it isn't right to be scared.

now i want to sell my house and set fire to all my clothes.

were you making fun of me with some esoteric joke?

you'll find someone.

old habits die screaming.

i know he's crazy but he's the one i want.

did you sleep with a gun underneath our bed?

fuck you if i can't have us.

we were blind to unforeseen circumstances.

i wish i could un-recall how we almost had it all.

trust me, i can handle me a dangerous man.

you're the loss of my life.

i cry a lot, but i am so productive.

who's afraid of little old me?

it was legendary.

i keep recalling things we never did.

i still ponder what it meant.

and who's gonna know you, if not me?

you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me.

i'm just mad as hell 'cause i loved this place.

your words are still just ringing in my head.

the story isn't mine anymore.

i'm lonely, but i'm good.

i tried to warn you about them.

fresh out the slammer, i know who my first call will be to.

i look in people's windows.

i will never lose my baby again.

looking backwards might be the only way to move forward.

i choose you and me religiously.

i got cursed like eve got bitten.

i would've died for your sins, instead i just died inside.

well, me and my ghosts, we had a hell of a time.

life was always easier on you than it was on me.

you don't get to tell me about "sad".

i'm not a donor but i'd give you my heart if you needed it.

do you hate me?

you don't get to tell me you feel bad.

i was supposed to be sent away, but they forgot to come and get me.

if i'd been there, i'd hate it.

stay away from her.

i can do it with a broken heart.

you cinephile in black and white.

were you sent by someone who wanted me dead?

but what about your quiet treason?

i hoped you'd return.

i took the miracle move-on drug, the effects were temporary.

i can take the upper hand and touch your body.

i'd rather burn my whole life down than listen to one more second of all this bitching and moaning.

oh, what a way to die.

i'll tell you one thing honey, i can tell when somebody still wants me.

this place made me feel worthless.

my husband is cheating.

my beloved ghost and me.

i keep finding his things in drawers.

did you take all my old clothes?

even if it's handcuffed, i'm leaving here with you.

i'm so obsessed with him, but he avoids me like the plague.

no, i'm not coming to my senses.

we've already done it in my head.

that's the closest i've come to my heart exploding.

no matter what i've done, it wouldn't matter anyway.

everyone knows that my mother is a saintly woman but she used to say she wished that you were dead.

sometimes i wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me.

good boy, that's right.

let it once be me.

lights, camera, bitch, smile.

it's hell on earth to be heavenly.

i'm runnin' back home to you.

one bad seed kills the garden.

i've been doing it since he left.

they say what doesn't kill you makes you aware, what happens if it becomes who you are?

i was tame, i was gentle till the circus life made me mean.

the hospital was a drag, worst sleep that i ever had.

oh, here we go again.

we learned the right steps to different dances.

i haven't come around in so long.

god save the most judgmental creeps who say they want what's best for me.

'cause i'm a real tough kid, i can handle my shit.

i'll tell you how i've been there too, and that none of it matters.

i'm having his baby.

once i fix me, he's gonna miss me.

no, you can't come to the wedding.

you swore that you loved me, but where were the clues?

but you should've seen him when he first got me.

i'm sure i can pass this test.

they tried to warn you about me.

come close, i'll show you heaven if you'll be an angel all night.

what if i told you i'm back?

i'm there most of the year 'cause i hate it here.

i may never open up the way i did for you.

you left your typewriter at my apartment.

oh, we must stop meeting like this.

scandal does funny things to pride.

tell me 'bout the first time you saw me.

it's gonna be alright, i did my time.

and for a fortnight there we were forever.

i thought it was just goodbye for now.

i love you, it's ruining my life.

i'm not trying to exaggerate, but i think i might die if it happened.

i might just die, it would make no difference.

i'll forget you, but i'll never forgive.

a greater woman stays cool, but i howl like a wolf at the moon.

a greater woman wouldn't beg.

pick your poison, babe.

i died on the altar waiting for the proof.

can we watch our phantoms like watching wild horses?

i don't even want you back, i just want to know.

they'll say i'm nuts if i talk about the existence of you.

way to go, tiger.

were you a sleeper cell spy?

you are bloodthirsty.

you said i needed a brave man, then proceeded to play him until i believed it too.

someone told me there's no such thing as bad thoughts.

i can fix him, no really i can.

you needed me, but you needed drugs more.

thought of calling ya, but you won't pick up.

who do i have to speak to about if they can redo the prophecy?

you're in terrible danger.

i want to snarl and show you just how disturbed this has made me.

you are what you did.

fuck it, i was in love.

for a moment, i knew cosmic love

you're the new god we're worshipping.

you gotta fake it 'till you make it, and i did.

i wanna kill her.

did you think i had in me?

you said normal girls were "boring".

and who's gonna hold you like me?

no one here's to blame.

even statues crumble if they're made to wait.

you can mark my words that i said it first.

one last souvenir from my trip to your shores

i'm so depressed, i act like it's my birthday every day.

how can i be guilty as sin?

you were gone by the morning.

i'm always drunk on my own tears, isn't that what they all said?

he said he'd love me all his life.

who else decodes you?

fuck it if i can't have him.

i just learned these people try and save you 'cause they hate you.

tell me all that you'd learned.

you're an animal.

you already know, babe.

growing up precocious sometimes means not growing up at all.

i loved your hostile takeovers.

you and i go from one kiss to getting married.

[sonoftydeusthemusical]

My friend has never heard of Diomedes before; how would you describe him? Like his motivations, his way of thinking, his strengths and weaknesses, his relationships, major plot points?

(I would explain him myself but I'm still not that far in the Iliad.)

Hello, thank you soooo much for this ask and sorry for the late reply!

First of I want to say that we’re by no means experts on Diomedes. We’re still in the process of learning more about him and discovering and exploring him through this musical, so people with a background in ancient studies might have a more detailed/accurate analysis of him than we can provide at the moment. But we still try to answer you to the best of our abilities!

(You’re welcome to correct us in the comments/reblogs ^^” )

In the words of @holy_mother_of_whumpers:

Diomedes kicks ass more than anyone in the Iliad, is scolded more than anyone. Odysseus best friend (according to historians). Shitty childhood (incest, prophesies and and a lot of dead relatives, which is almost as ancient Greek backstories go), shitty post Troy (banished from his city, cursed by Aphrodite). Actually happy ending (founder of cities, immortalized by Athena).

He’s like Odysseus, but with an unbelievably tragic childhood and less disaster energy. He gets stuff done and slays doing it

But here’s our answer…sorry if this is turns out too long!

Starting out with your question about his motivations

Oath bound, Diomedes avenged his fathers death at the age of 14, sacking the city of Thebes (the epic surrounding it is called “Epigoni” but unfortunately it’s a story lost to history, also he was 4 when he took the oath, should that count rly? shouldn't there be an age of consent for oaths? anyway)

The story surrounding his fathers death is tragic and a bit disgusting (he ate brain and Athena who wanted to gift him immortality was too disgusted to do so)

Diomedes doesn’t remember his father, and he still gets compared a lot to him (just see Agamemnon low-key trash-talking him by stating how much of a better fighter his father was to motivate him for battle) so that kind of plays into his motivations

Additionally like so many other heroes, glory and honor are definitely also motivations of his. Often it is Athena who pushes or motivates him to many of his greatest deeds and other feats (like wounding Ares, throwing the spear at Dolon, beating everyone in the funeral games,…..yeah Athena HATES loosing)

What’s interesting that despite the fact that he was raised on war, later on – after Troy (and admittedly, even more warfare) – he’s said to have wanted to settle down more, founded his cities in peace (or as peaceful as life for kings was back then haha)

In the Iliad Diomedes is always the first to volunteer, and despite often getting treated rather badly (Nestor kicked him awake, my boy was even sleeping in his armour, Agamemnon calls him a coward) he tends to keep a cool head and doesn’t retaliate (…except that one time….or two?) BUT he also definitely doesn’t take BS, he calls out Agamemnon for being a bad leader when he suggests to leave (Diomedes insists they stay and fight until they won)

For his way of thinking…he’s rather pragmatic, a good strategist (mentored by athena), first to jump into the fray, trusts his own strength, knows when to back down/when to talk back, can get caught up in the heat of the moment in battles, doesn’t shy away from violence, lies & trickery…. (correct me on this if I'm wrong or missed something)

Strengths & Weaknesses

One thing that makes him stand out among the other heroes is that arguably, he’s one of the few greek heroes whose lives don’t end in a complete tragedy because of his hubris against the gods (…….wellll………..his wife betraying him after he injured aphrodite and being exiled for arogs is an instant where he still pays for his acts against the goddess, but its tame compared to many other heroes fates, who committed lesser crimes) and in the end he even gets deitified (or at least in some versions, like athena wanted to do with his father, but his father messed upppppp so…..)

He’s more level headed than many other heroes (cough Odysseus “i am in the infamous odysseus” King of Ithaca)

He’s one of the best fighters - or THE best fighter of the greeks next to Achilles, the trojans were more scared of him than of Achilles (….since Achilles didn’t fight) without him the Achaeans….would’ve probably lost the war

As for his weaknesses….one thing is something that’s not even within his own control: his young age (compared to the other kings), almost nobody realllyyyy respects him despite his badass deeds on the battlefield and good battle advice, his many ships he brought and his battle experience even before the war and two) the kind of lingering shame of his fathers final moments (nom nom brain, and failing to take Thebes), but also his fathers supposed greatness that he keeps getting compared to and has to live up to

Now…..his relationships…oh boy theres so many, I’ll try to sum up the most important ones I know in once sentence for each

His family:

His father: he doesn’t remember him, but people keep bringing him up and comparing him to him

We dont know much about his relationship with his mother

most…of his other (male) relatives die in his early youth (which is how he ends up as King of Argos) like his grandfathers, and his uncles…

The achaean kings:

Agamemnon: the boss who’s a bully, but Diomedes talks back to him sometimes at least (…unless he’s insulting him, he just accept that)

Ajax: Diomedes almost kills him during the funeral games….the acheans have to break up the fight

Achilles: Diomedes doesn’t like him, Dio is the only one who wants him punished for killing Diomedes cousin that everyone else hated

Odysseus: LOTS of tea to be found here (he seems to see Ody as a mentor figure and keeps picking him as companion for missions, they both have Athena as their patron goddess but while Odysseus leans a little bit more on the wisdom part, Diomedes leans more into the pure strength of battle, they work well together and have a bunch of missions together)

Comrades

Most noteable are Sthenelus (known him since early childhood) and Euryalus, who are with him in Troy, they were part of the Epigoni (its rly a long story)

His wife: is his cousin, he marries her to strengthen his rulership, in the end, its said that she betrayed him with a new lover and exiled him from his own kingdom (another long story)

Glaucus: they met on the battlefield and realized their grandfathers were bro’s so they didnt fight each other, and instead exchanged armours (but Diomedes got the better, golden armour, while Glaucus got the bronze armour..)

There is sooooo much more to say about him, all the stories of the Iliad, the events before AND after it, his relationship with Athena, etc. I barely scratched the surface here so maybe we have to make a whole series of posts about this one day so we can get more into detail because its so much! (Let us know if we should???)

I hope this answered some of your questions, though! And again thank you so much for your interest and apologies for the late reply!

[mossyivy]

As much as I love Violet and Cecilia can we get a little something something of Leon with little Scottie? Bonding time, playing with him, etc. 😭 It’s just the two of them in the house. It’s quiet without his wife and the girls. They’re both on the play mat and I think Leon would just stare at his son. Named after him. His twin. This guy is just tearing up :’)

Oh my God ofc! He's just a little baby they don't do much but I could see him having the time of his life.

Leon's missed having a baby in the house and now he'd have a son to bond with! Definitely a massive fan of tummy time. Have his little mat with bears all over it and a mirror for him to interact with himself. Leon's so amused watching his son grab at his own reflection hundreds of times.

"Yeah! That's you!" He'd always say in that chipper baby voice he insists he hates but when it comes to his kids anything goes.

His little boy just recently started learning to turn over. Once he's on his back he's a little wiggly worm. Kicking his feet and waving his arms when he sees his daddy sitting on the floor with him. And the excited little squeal Scottie would let out every time he saw his father, it be enough to melt the coldest of hearts!!! The smile Leon would have on his face would be just as wide as it was the first 2 times he raised little ones.

But feeding time was always entertaining. Getting to hold his son in his arms while he gripped his bottle and chugged down formula like it's liquid gold. Those cute chubby cheeks a soft rosy shade, sweet button nose and full head of brunet hair. Scott really did look like a tiny version of him.

And after a good burping it's nap time. Leon would be sitting in the living room, rocking Scottie in the old rocking chair they had to pull out of storage and hum "You are my sunshine" like he did with his girls. Giving light little but pats as he felt Scott settle down against his chest. Just rocking him and feeling his little tummy filling up with air and deflate repeatedly.

Made him tear up as he kisses his little head and tells him how much he loves him.

[jacks347]

I MISSED THE NEW BVZ PREMIERE (THANKS JOB)

So now y'all get my live reaction! (I've never done one of these before, this is gonna be fun)

SPOILERS AHEAD IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED IT

Intro is great as always, I love this song so much

Here we go~

WHO?? WHAT??

OFF TO A STRONG START

"Lack of cooperation" My guy it's Albus, that's literally his entire thing

On your family?? YOU LEAVE FAITH OUT OF THIS (and Kerano and Devlin)

OH??

HI DEVLIN WHAT

That design is so good, Glowbat you wonder

Plot twist #1, I expect many more

We're not even 5 minutes in, this post is going to be a fucking Bible-

Does Devlin have freckles?? Did he always have freckles?? Beautiful

Oh Devlin got sassy during the break I like :P

Of course he calls for his brother, the strongest person he knows how sweet <3

Miracle of faith, in more ways than one

Oo, that sounds painful

~DINNER BREAK~

ALBUS! LANGUAGE!

Ooo scary protective Albus

"My brothers. My battalion." Oh-

Aaaaand there's the Albus we know and love XD

"Fuck you and your hat!" Pfft you leave Devlin's fedora alone XD

Oh, back to our regularly scheduled program

Waiter I'm afraid you got some capitalism in my cowboy fantasy

GIMME CROSSBOW I WANT A CROSSBOW

I don't even think Albus knows where Albus went, he just heard his brother calling and left

Ewwwww TMI Albus

LIGHTSABER?? WHO LET ALBUS PICK UP A LIGHTSABER

Oo who's at the door? And why do I not trust it-

Oh it's just Devlin-

Uh oh, Albus has to explain his family~

Hi Mahatma! I still don't entirely trust you!

Why am I playing organizing Tetris-

...oops

"Can I ask you something?" I mean you just did so-

"Do you ever feel...powerless?" Well ain't this a pleasant conversation

"Like you can't save the people you care about" WELL AIN'T THIS A PLEASANT CONVERSATION

Look at Hipswitch showing off his detective skills! I'm so proud

Oh? What's on that ship??

Oh god not more new characters-

The mafia's back that's not good-

Why is the mafia fighting the Triad I'M SCARED

THE MAFIA SHOT DOWN THE PALADIN SHIPS?? WHY?? I DON'T LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING

Another point to the man that can't even fuckin read that he's just a tad bit stupid :P

Boys, boys! You're both pretty stop yelling XD

"Interesting" is certainly a word for it Doc, wait until you hear about the woman they're both in love with-

"Caused any distress" ...do you hear yourself Devlin?

...awkward silence...

Paladins of Cindergorn eh? Looks like we are gonna learn about Faith today

Devlin being a smartypants, Hipswitch giving the most sass I've ever heard in a single sentence, this is great

Ewww I hated everything about that metaphor

"Something doesn't feel quite right" Of course it doesn't because nothing here is ever simple

WHY IS DEVLIN CHANGING COLORS??

"Is there anything else you can actually swallow?" ...Doc that is the wrong person to ask

"Oh...eugh" 10/10 Love that reaction XD

Poor Devlin, he spent enough time single-handedly running a ship-

When did Albus attempt to learn to cook?? And why??

"Don't worry about me" Faith's healer senses are tingling

"I saw you get goosebumps, did I scare you?" Honey considering how this story is going I don't think it was fear-

HIPSWITCH THIS IS NOT THE POSITION YOU WANT TO BE IN WHEN DEVLIN GETS BACK

Oh the secondhand embarrassment is crawling up my spine and it hasn't even happened yet

Please God get off of him before I explode-

And we're safe thank god

"You don't trust him at all, do you?" Would you if you were in my position?

This is really just the backstory episode isn't it

Albus, the hired gun where his last job got him killed, wasn't too keen on being a bounty hunter until he saw the paycheck. Okay that stings a little-

"I'm sure they're fine" *Cut to them being very not fine*

Devlin proudly proclaiming he can't read, 10/10 tension diffused

"We won't tell a soul, right partner?" Sir I couldn't even if I wanted to my mouth is literally just for decoration at this point (don't take that out of context-)

Destroy a sacred scripture surrounded by Paladins of Cindergorn, a certain priestess just felt her eye twitch

Yes Doc, show off that psychology degree you worked so hard for (hi I'm a psych student so it's also the degree *I'm* working so hard for)

"Is Devlin a father?" He's not just a stepdad, he's a dad who stepped up 💪 (that was so bad forgive me-)

Devlin...what did you do...

Okay I do not trust any of what just happened, what are you after Devlin?

Oh god the mafia's back

DOGS?? OH GOD PLEASE NO

NOT DOC!! ALBUS SOUNDS SO WORRIED

Show em what you're made of Albus

Don't talk to Albus like he doesn't know what being trained from birth to be someone's dog is like-

Devlin's going through it again, someone save the poor boy from his flashbacks

Y'know, Redacted being the one getting killed instead of doing the killing is rather cathartic in a bittersweet kind of way

Time to rewrite history! Again!

"What exactly can he do?" Great question, I'll tell you when I find out

Oh great, GB's back on his villain shit what piece of lore are we getting today

I don't trust that music, what's about to happen and is it a sand worm like this is Star Wars (we already had a lightsaber it wouldn't shock me)

I KNEW IT!! ASK ME HOW I KNEW GO ON ASK

WHO IS THE MAN IN THE MASK I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS

"I have someone for this kind of thing" Yes go visit your wife and her special bandage technique :D

"Is it a hooker?" "No! It's not a hooker!" He sounded so offended for her, I love that

:O Let someone else fix you up?? And betray wife?? Wait no Wife is Gienne (hello GB Twitch chat :P)

Where's Faith I saw the cast list where is she

WHAT DO YOU WANT YOU BIRD NOSE FREAK

:D KERANO BABY

Oh that art is adorable

SHE CALLS HIM DAD MY HEART IS GONNA EXPLODE

Oop there's Faith-

And Kerano calls her Mom ughhhhh I'm not gonna make it y'all

"It's been x amount of time" Kerano I love you

"Death is too good for him" Yikes

"That's a relief!" "It is?" Pfft-

Faith went from furious to worried in 2 seconds hearing about Albus, that's our girl

"You didn't tell him about your father's death" HEH?? HONEY YOU DIDN'T TELL *ME* ABOUT HIS FATHER'S DEATH WTF I THOUGHT WE WERE IN THIS TOGETHER FAITH

Oh poor Devlin :(

"I miss him, Faith" Is that the first time we've ever heard Devlin call her by her name? Back in BW he always just called her Sister

Awww hug him for me Faith

Oh yeah, Faith is the only who can actually read-

"Something called Operation Sub Delta" ...what

Oh my god don't read it Faith please god don't read it

And she's reading it-

"You just want an excuse to see him again" Oh look, he's reading the thoughts of the fandom (YES WE WANT ALBUS TO SEE HIS WIFE AGAIN SO SUE US)

"I've actually met someone" EXCUSE ME?? DEVLIN YOU HOE WHO IS IT??

"Look at my choice in men" Ah so she realizes it XD

Come on Faith, connect the dots, I know you're smart enough

And she's done it

Who is Agent and what the hell is happening

Uh oh-

They have the files of the subjects that Devlin doesn't

Which means they can use Albus like their own weapon by probing his training like Kravatas did

Oh I really don't like where this is going

WHAT??

THAT'S THE END??

YOU CAN'T JUST END IT ON THAT WHAT THE HELL

Oh my god this series really loves throwing me for loops doesn't it

OKAY ENDING THOUGHTS

Absolute 100000/10 episode GB you madlad you've done it again

Was completely worth the wait, love seeing the whole cast together again including our new players!

The art is flawless, I expected nothing less of Glowbat

Keep doing what you do you mad genius GB, I'll be holding my breath for the next one (try not to kill me I can't do another 4 months-)

[grooveology]

Hello! I love your account and I love Pope Heyward! Could you please write a nsfw Pope story? Any context works, but the Pope fandom is living off of crumbs and the 8 of us still here need something lol ❤️

thigh riding with pope heyward

pairing(s): pope heyward x fem! reader. 

summary: thigh riding with pope heyward. porn without a plot. idk just hornyness??

a/n: not proofread because i hate re-reading my writing. english is NOT my first language. so sorry this is so short :( i was so tempted to use the word bussy instead of pussy LMFAOO

warnings: sexual themes, mature content, thigh riding, slight nipple play, lemme know if i missed anything.

YOU aren't sure how it happened. One minute you're studying for your chemistry test alongside your boyfriend. The next, you're grinding against his thigh. You can't blame yourself, not when your boyfriend looks like a greek god. Perhaps it's how he licks his lips when he's concentrating on reading or how pretty he looks while sitting next to you, paying you no attention. It's extremely inconsiderate, really. You weren't learning anything but appreciating pope's beauty.

"What?" Pope questioned, not bothering to lift his gaze from his book.

"I'm bored, we've been studying for three hours!" you dramatically spoke.

This time pope meets your eye, "What do you suggest we do?” he questioned, a glow of lust in his eyes. It seems like you both were thinking of the same thing.

You shrugged, scanning his room, "Your parents are out of town, aren't they?" You asked as if you didn't know the answer.

Pope nodded, a playful smirk growing on his face.

"Are you really going to make me ask?"

"Oh, absolutely," Pope said, rather smug with himself. The boy was such a tease.

“I want this,” you straddle one of his thighs. The contact of your pussy alone made you whine and grind down.

Without hesitation, you press a desperate kiss to his lips. Only mere seconds later, pope kisses back with the same desperation.

You pulled away to focus on your now throbbing pussy. You started slow, dragging your clothed core along his thigh until you found the position that made the pressure on your clit send a thrill of arousal through your body so strong it made your eyes roll back into your head.

Your moans filled the room, your pussy aching for more.

“That’s a good girl—looks so pretty riding my thigh like that.” Pope praised, his warm hands resting on your waist.

"Touch me, please," You begged into his ear.

Pope leaned back in his seat, making himself comfortable, and snuck one hand up your shirt.

Pope rolled your nipples between his fingers while bouncing his leg. You could only grind faster and faster against his leg, your whimpers and moans growing louder.

You were so close, and his touch on your body sent you into a frenzy.

"Fuck, I'm so close." You moaned.

“Cum all over my thigh.”

“That’s it, make a mess on my thigh, darling.” pope spoke softly.

And so you did.

[skzhocomments]

The Pearls On Your Neck (Hyunjin // Lee Know x OC)- Part One

Story masterlist - please consult it for the summary of the story, trigger warnings etc.

Wattpad | AO3

Part Two

---

Part One

chapter word count: 7.2k words

Pearl's POV

It's the third period, and I’m still stuck next to Minho. The day couldn’t have dragged on more. I was so excited about the new term, however, it seems that the universe enjoys playing tricks on me. Minho has got to be the most stupidly good-looking person I know, but also one of the biggest asses I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. Not only am I stuck next to him, but the lecture is also brain-numbingly boring; I swear my brain is going to turn into liquid and drip out my nose. The lecturer's monotone voice seems to go straight through me, or in one ear and out the other. I wonder if he has a wife or kids and if they hate his voice the same way I do. I’ve had him for 2 years now, and I hoped I wouldn’t have him for another but it seems like I’ve run out of luck or just have bad karma from something I’ve done in a past life.

Fuck this.

How am I going to learn anything when I’ve got the most annoying person on earth besides me and the lecturer can’t seem to do his job right? It’s ridiculous, and I can feel myself becoming more irritated by the second.

I’ve been staring out the window for hours on end. It's such a nice day outside and I can’t help but wish to be out there laying on the aromatic, lush green field enjoying the miraculous, vibrant blue sky and blazing sun. Maybe even have a picnic, either way, it doesn’t matter; anywhere besides here would be better. But I am here, absent-mindedly clicking my pen repetitively, and it seems to have had an effect on Minho as he turns to face me with the biggest frown I’ve ever seen.

“Shut the fuck up,” he scolds snatching the pen out of my hand and slamming it on the table in front of us, “are you going to be this annoying for the rest of the term? Or are you doing this on purpose to annoy me?”

This fucking twat.

I scoff at him. Does he seriously think everything is about him? I can feel my blood boiling at how unfortunate it was to be seated together. Out of everyone it had to be this stupid boy. Does he think the world revolves around him? I roll my eyes. How obnoxious can he get?

“Don’t you know it’s rude to snatch,” I say as I snatch back my pen from under his hand, “would have thought you were raised in a barn with manners like yours, and no. Not everything is about you as much as you’d like to think it is. Diabolical prick.” I say and turn back to face the window.

“Okay princess, get off your high horse, don’t act all high and mighty.” I snap my head back to face him and I can practically see the steam coming out of his ears.

And I can feel the heat radiating from me, “I’m not a princess, don’t call me that!” I start clicking the pen again to get a rise out of him, he did it first so why can’t I do it back?

“God, you're so infuriating!” Minho says as he drops his head back and slips further into his chair, and his leg grazes mine.

“Don’t touch me.” I say as I push his leg harshly away from mine, it hits the metal table leg and he hisses in pain, “and stop speaking. Oh my god, you're going to give me a headache!” I rub my temples because honestly, I can feel a headache coming on.

If he was going to say anything, he definitely couldn’t now, because the lunch bell has rung and I’m not going to stay near him a second longer, so I quickly grab my book and pen, shoving them into my bag. Not caring if my book gets creased, I need to find Cynthia. I promised her coffee.

~

“Oh my God, hi!” Cynthia almost threw me to the ground, jumping on me from excitement. “It’s so good to see you! I’ve missed you soooo much!”

“Didn’t I see you at my house, like, yesterday?” I roll my eyes. She has always been this dramatic, but that’s what I love the most about her, and it might just be the reason why I think she’s my best friend.

“That’s different! I wasn’t there to see you.”she chuckles nudging my elbow.

“Seeing you all laughs and smiles, that must mean that you got what you wanted?” I chuckle as well, watching as she excitedly squeaks like a kid.

“You know I did! Seungmin is so good in bed, he-”

“Ew. Please- just no.” I wave my hand around trying to stop her from talking further, to no avail. “No details.”

“made me cum 3 times! I swear to God, this boy-”

Cynthia has always had the biggest mouth, and once she’s started speaking, she just can’t stop herself. That’s what was good about her, on one hand, you knew she was honest at all times, but on the other… let’s just say she never thought before speaking and would always say things she shouldn't, which sometimes got us in awkward situations.

However, her heart is made of gold, and I love her a lot. Enough to get over her sometimes being a pain in the neck.

“Cynthia, girl, I love you, but hearing how my brother fucks was not on my list of `Things I care about and/or want to know`, so please, keep it to yourself!” I whine, covering my ears with my hands.

“Don’t be such a baby!” she pouts. “It’s obvious we’re gonna have sex since we’ve been dating for-”

“8 months. I know. The whole university knows. Hell, even the barista probably knows! You’re so loud!” I let out a small wail and watch her cheeks grow red.

“Shit, is it that bad?” she laughs, clearly embarrassed about being called out.

“It’s the worst.” I joke. “I told you off about that big mouth of yours before, didn’t I?”

“Well, your brother loves my big mouth, for reference.”

“Bleah, enough about Seungmin. I wanna know how my best friend is doing, not how my brother’s girlfriend is doing.” I hug her side, as we walk into the small cafe near our university.

This is a cosy place we both love and adore, with wooden tables randomly scattered throughout the small room. It's old and probably the same age as our university, but the chipped traffic purple paint just adds to the character of the place, along with the funky orange plastic chairs. No, it doesn’t really match, but it doesn’t matter. Behind the counter is a rack of ridiculous mugs with patterns that if I look at them too long I might go cross-eyed, and on the counter are delicious cakes and pastries. The wooden floor is smooth, as it was redone the first year I started university, and my favourite part of the cafe has to be the big brick fireplace with a ridiculous zebra print rug in front of it. You could always see stressed out students working their asses off on their laptops to finish whichever assignments they’ve received, drinks half finished in front of them.

Cynthia and I never came here to study, though. We simply enjoyed the coffee.

And the barista.

But that’s another story.

“Ahhh, if only he was older!” Cynthia nudges my elbow as we both watch the barista - Felix, I found out from the name tag on his plaided shirt - skilfully draw a heart in my cappuccino. “He’d be a perfect match for you!”

“Stop saying bullshit, girl! What would he think if he heard you?” I laugh a bit, thanking all Gods above that the barista is far enough to not be able to hear our shameless whispering.

“It’s true though! He’s so cute. Wouldn’t you go on a date with him, if he were, let’s say, Minho’s age?”

“Ugh. Please don’t say that name around me, I’m gonna get triggered. And no- for the record, I don’t care that much for relationships or dates at this moment.”

“Here are your drinks! Let me know if I can bring you anything else.” Felix interrupts our conversation and smiles sweetly, carrying a tray with our two coffees and two pieces of strawberry cheesecake to a table more secluded - mine and Cynthia’s usual spot, which even he memorized with how religiously we’ve been visiting this place.

As we both sit there I look at the cake, the one that Felix placed down, and quickly realise it’s not what I ordered. I let out a long exasperated huff. I didn’t need this after the day I’ve had, so I get up and walk over to the counter.

“Felix?” I ask sweetly, just because I’ve had a bad day doesn’t mean I should make his day miserable as well - and it also might be the fact that he’s so addictively sweet that he might give me a toothache; my heart would break if I ever upset him.

“Yeah?” he questions and looks up through his long and thick dark lashes, then his brown eyes trail down to the slice of cheesecake in my hand, “Is everything okay?” I could see the exact moment he realised what was going on as his eyes widened and his hand slapped over his mouth.

I try to hold back a laugh at his reaction, “I think you might have mixed up my order.” I say as I slide my cheesecake on the countertop.

“I’m so sorry, Pearl… I’ll fix it right away.”

I shrug light-heartedly and giggle at his stumbled words, “Felix, it’s fine these things happen.” I try to reassure him.

He nodded and scurried to the tiramisu. I watch as he cuts it while getting the chance to check him out, looking at his long blonde hair half tied up while two strands at the front dangle loosely basically covering his eyes, and the cute black apron adorned on his small waist covering his blue jeans, I think back to what Cynthia said, and I find myself agreeing.

He’s definitely my type, and yes, I would in fact definitely go on a date with him if he wasn’t in his last year of college; 18 is a bit too young for me, I’d feel like a cougar with her toyboy. I’d also look like one. Felix is a total sweetheart and wouldn’t hurt a fly. I’d definitely corrupt him.

Nope!

Never going to happen!

I shouldn’t think so deeply about this, as it’s not an option for me anyway. I’m happily single and listening to Cynthia’s relationship is enough for me to decide that I want to grow old gracefully without kids, and a husband. That way I’ll ensure I don’t go grey early due to the stress - or at least before my time. I won’t be lonely, no, I’ll have a couple of cats, maybe even a dog.

God I can’t wait to retire and I haven’t even started working a full-time job, but thinking about living in a cute cottage with a big garden, maybe even a river going through it, surrounded by cats is definitely the way I want to live and die.

He brings over the slice and a chunk of tiramisu that is way too big, but who am I to complain? I can definitely tackle this piece.

“Pearl, I’m sorry.” He said placing the plate gently into my hands looking very distressed.

I can’t help but feel bad for the poor boy, “Why’d you look so stressed? Had a bad customer earlier?”

He nods, and lets out a big breath, “Exactly that.”

“Don’t worry!” I said with a smile, “I'm not going to shout at ya just because you got it wrong.” I finish my sentence and turn to go back but decide at the last second to tease the boy a bit more. “Or am I?” I wink, before returning to my seat, leaving behind me a very flustered Felix.

When I arrive at the table, Cynthia's eyes are burning holes through me the whole time I’m trying to get comfy in my seat. Firstly, how fucking rude! Secondly, if she wants to say something, she can, “So why are you so triggered about Minho?” I regret thinking that, so deeply.

I throw my head back and sigh, “Oh for fuck sake, can we please not talk about him? I just want to eat my tiramisu in peace” I say, as I throw my hands up in the air.

Cynthia chuckles at me, “God he really got your knickers in a twist this time… common, share. Sharing is caring.” she sings.

I just stare at her for a while thinking if my brain can possibly handle talking about him without spontaneously combusting, “Fine!” I nearly shout and quickly look around embarrassed about how loud that came out, “I just thought I’d escape from his grabby little hands this term, but oh no that didn’t happen! I’ve been seated next to him! Cynthia, I’ve been seated next to him! I swear I must have killed a saint in my past life because the universe is persistent in sodomising me!”

“Or maybe Mercure is in Retrograde!”

“Exactly that!” I fold my arms across my chest and scoff loudly.

“I was obviously joking. You're so dramatic! Minho isn’t even that bad!”

“Yeah, and you're not me.” I bite back but there's no venom to my words.

Cynthia laughs at me as if my problem is the smallest thing in the world, like the universe hasn’t put it’s middle finger up at me, “You know… you and Minho would really-”

My phone rang, cutting Cynthia off and stopping the ridiculous statement from falling out of her mouth, and I can’t be happier.

Literally saved by the bell.

I answer it without looking, which I’m quick to regret. “Yes?”

“Oh, honey!”

Fuck, it's my mum.

“Hi Mum”

“Just quickly, I don’t have long to stay on the phone, we're all having dinner tonight.”

“I have plans.” I respond fast, hoping to get out of the surely uncomfortable situation that was to come. Family dinners are torture.

“8 P.M! Be there, and wear a dress!”

“But Mum-” I start, but get cut off by the sound of dead line on the other side of the phone.

“What’s with the long face?” Cynthia chuckles seeing my dejected figure.

“She always does this shit, I swear!” I complain loudly, grabbing the hot cappuccino from the table and taking a small sip.

“Who, your mum?” she chuckles again, taking a bite of the strawberry cheesecake - I never understood why she likes that sweet mess. Tiramisu is so much better.

“Yes, yes, she wants me to come to dinner. She didn’t even care that I have plans!”

“Do you?” Cynthia raises an eyebrow.

“No, but that’s not the point, Cynth!” I retort. “And you know that cute little date you were supposed to have with Seungmin?”

“Yes, what about it?” she asks in an almost offended tone.

“Boom! Cancelled! Family dinner!” I wave my hands around me dramatically and watch Cynthia’s face drop.

“No way!!! We were supposed to go to the Steak House tonight!” She whines, before noticing a call on her phone “Oop, it’s him!” she squeaks.

“See for yourself,” I respond unimpressed, watching how Cynthia’s usual smiling expression turns into a big frown, as Seungmin probably informs her of the change of plans tonight.

“Fuck, I hate your parents.” she angrily mutters while taking a big sip of her drink, getting a milk moustache which looks comically good on her.

“That makes two of us.” I roll my eyes and we both continue complaining for the rest of the afternoon.

~

8 PM finally rolls around as I’m stumbling, trying to walk in the ankle-length blue pencil dress I decided to wear tonight. It’s a nice dress, very modest but it also shows off my curves delightfully. A beautiful white pearl necklace adorns my throat and matching earrings dangle from my ears, they match the embellished pearls on the dress. The heels are rubbing the back of my feet and are making it even harder to walk down the stairs without the tight dress strangling my legs, the heels are white pointed-toe with a pearl strap dangling around my ankle and a pretty white silk bow at the back.

Going down the grand, bespoke stairs carpeted in a beautiful cream of our house, that face opposite the entrance of the house I walk into the large living room, where the table is nicely put together for 7 people.

Who…?

I wonder, but before I manage to even think about who might be coming for this dinner that’s so important, that mum asked both me and Seungmin to join, she rushes into the room.

“Pearl, the guests are here, come, let’s welcome them! Your Father is already outside!”

“And who might these guests be?” I raise an eyebrow at her.

“You’ll see! Your Father and I have arranged something for you!” Mum smiles brightly while we both rush to the front door to see a fancy looking black Aston Martin roll around the artisanal fountain in our front garden.

The driver quickly gets out and hurries to the back of the car, helping a middle-aged lady that aged gracefully get out.

Oh hell no.

No way.

I hope for a brief second that I’m seeing wrong, that this woman isn’t who I think she is, but when the other car door opens and Minho gets out with a smug smirk on his dumb face, all hope is lost.

“Hye-Jin!” Mum almost shouts, embracing the woman—Minho’s mum—who shares the same excitement to see her.

No fucking way. These sneaky cunts.

I see Minho coming my way dressed in a navy blue tweed three-piece suit white shirt, matching blue tie and trench coat with a big bouquet of bright red roses in his hands, and as he stops in front of me, his smirk changes into a stupidly sweet smile, and I watch as he extends his hand, wrist adorned with a stupidly expensive watch and he hands me the roses.

We fucking match, great!

I want to strangle him with that stupid tie.

“You are very beautiful tonight, Pearl. Blue looks amazing on you, and all the pearls, as expected,” he says, his words and demeanour contradicting each other. It feels more like he is mocking me, rather than complimenting me.

“Oh, my, Minho, what a gentleman!” mum exclaims happily, as they exchange pleasantries.

“What the fuck are you doing in my house?” I whisper furiously and equally just as shocked as I am fuming, walking next to Minho, arms brushing because of the whispering distance, our parents walking towards the dinner table a safe distance away from us.

“I don’t fucking know. Something about a business deal, apparently?” he returns my attitude as we make our way to our seats - directly in front of each other.

Great.

~

“The food was exquisite!” Minho’s mother exclaims happily, her husband agreeing with her while plates are being carried away.

“It’s so nice to have dinner like this, isn’t it, dear?” my mum touches father’s arm gently, looking fondly around the table as me, Seungmin and Minho awkwardly smile at each other.

“Indeed it is. We will soon get used to having these dinners more often, so that’s a relief!” Father chuckles, making me raise an eyebrow.

“Oh, yes! It seems the kids are also getting along well.” Minho’s father replies, taking a sip of the red wine.

“It’s only natural, since they go to the same university. So… it’s about time we let them know of our plans, don’t you think?” my dad chuckles and raises his glass, as if preparing to give a toast.

“Plans?” Minho asks, curiosity in his tone, as he also drinks a bit of wine.

“You’re a fine gentleman, Minho,” my dad starts, before being briefly interrupted by the twat’s father.

I almost laugh. Fine gentleman my ass.

“And Pearl is such a beautiful young lady.” his dad smiles, and I smack Minho’s leg under the table, making him throw me a death glare.

I look into Minho's eyes, hoping to convey that I don’t like where this is going, but instead of seeming to understand, he just hits my leg back, hard. So hard, it’s difficult to keep a straight face and not wince in pain and curse him right then and there.

“We decided… a union between our families would be extremely beneficial. And what better way to do it than marriage? Since both you and Minho are single-”

“No!” I reply a bit too loud for my liking, but desperate times call for desperate measures. “I… I’ve got a boyfriend!”

It’s a poor excuse, I know it is, and I don’t even know how I’m supposed to keep the lie going, especially with Seungmin side-eyeing me to oblivion.

“Oh, is that so?” Minho’s father frowns.

“Y-Yes.” I stutter, feeling Minho’s glare on me.

“But you never told us, Pearl.” Mum frowns as well, disappointed in my answer.

“I think we should just relax and see where this is going.” My father waves his hands around like what I just said was nothing, the twat’s dad agreeing.

I’m speechless. What the fuck?

“After all, we haven’t even met the individual, nor did we approve of any relationship, so… I say the arrangement is still on.”

“But dad-”

“And you can come to dinner with your boyfriend on Saturday, and your mother and I will decide then and there if he even raises to half the potential Minho has.” he cuts me off, the asshole in front of me smirking again like the dumbass he is and poking my leg.

~

Fuck I’m screwed.

How am I going to magically find a boyfriend before Saturday?

I let myself fall dramatically on the bed after taking off the uncomfortable dress and grab my phone, dialling Cynthia’s number.

I look around my room while waiting for her to pick up and I see old photos of us and all my family together. When Seungmin and I were young, did they know they were going to force their daughter into an unwanted marriage then?

“Cynth!” I basically scream when I hear rustling in my ear.

“Pearl? How was the dinner?” She sounded extremely tired.

“Did you just… did I just wake you up? Anyway, that doesn’t matter, I’m getting forced to marry Minho!”

“WHAT? The Lee Minho?” She coughs, “Wait, let me drink some water.”

I roll over onto my stomach, “No, someone else called Minho… Don't be stupid! Obviously, it's Lee Minho!” I roll my eyes, as I scold the girl for her stupidity.

“How?”

“No, no, no, Cynthia, that's not even the biggest part of my problem! The problem is that I said I have a boyfriend and how the fuck am I going to find a boyfriend for Saturday?” I change my position on the bed and sit up leaning my body on the headboard.

Cynthia giggles, “Why did you say that?”

“I panicked!” I practically scream.

She hums and then speaks again, “Just use The Pearls On Your Neck.”

I laugh, “Ha-ha, very funny! To what, strangle him to get out of this arranged marriage?!”

Although I’ve got to say that’s a very good idea.

She nearly screams with laughter, “No silly girl, it’s like a rent a boyfriend app my other stupidly rich friend uses it all the time for her family dinners. It has the same name as you, so it’s easy to remember!”

I pull the phone away from my ear as I can hear aggressive typing and Cynthia’s nails smacking the screen, “There, I just sent it to you! Can I go back to sleep now?”

My phone pings, and I click on the app. 5 stars, looks reliable and the men in the app preview look good, maybe this will work for me.

I press download.

I wait for what seems like forever, you’d think living in such a big house I’d have amazing wifi, but seems not.

I try to set up an account, but the app is confusing as hell.

I stare at the screen for a bit, trying to find the “Sign up” button, and after a while, I finally reach the Personal Data info.

Nickname:

Hmm, what should I add here? Is ‘Pearl’ okay? Or should I maybe go with a fake name?

Nah, what point is there to it? I think, as I type in my first name and shrug.

I’m not going to add a profile pic anyway, so why does it matter?

I put in my location and pick the first person I see, not paying attention to his profile picture, and click on the small ‘Send a message’ bubble next to his name.

Hyunjin sounds pretty. I haven’t heard this name before.

I gather my courage and after a few minutes of writing, deleting, writing and deleting again and again, I finally manage to write him something.

Pearl:

Hello.

Wow, Pearl, could you be more interesting? I roll my eyes at the bland message that took me such a long time to write, and I take a mental note to start texting people more.

I am missing this skill, and it shows.

Hyunjin❤️‍🔥 :

Hello! How are you?

Pearl:

Good, thank you. So how do I go about this renting thing? God, I feel so cheap saying that.

Hyunjin❤️‍🔥:

Haha it’s fine :).

When are you looking to rent for?

Pearl:

This Saturday. I’ve got a family dinner and I told them I have a boyfriend… but that doesn’t matter, I’ll tell you more about it another day because we’ll have to meet up before so I can get you some clothes and tell you deets.

Hyunjin❤️‍🔥:

Yep, I’m free then :)

When would you like to meet up before?

Is there anything you’d like me to wear to our first meet?

I look at the screen, flustered with myself that I’m actually doing this.

How can he be so chill about it?

This is the most obscene thing I’ve ever done apart from interacting with Minho.

Pearl:

Um, no. Just wear whatever you're most comfortable in.

And what about Thursday? 12:30? At Harrods?

Hyunjin❤️‍🔥:

Sounds good to me!

Pearl:

Um, so… how do I pay you?

Sorry, this is so awkward, I’ve never done this before. Ha-ha.

Hyunjin❤️‍🔥:

You don’t have to worry, you’re doing great. :)

To confirm our date a £15 non-refundable deposit is required. Please put your full name as the reference. Please let me know once this has been transferred and it will confirm our date!

Once the payment is received please send me your full name and phone number and I will put our date in my diary!

My bank details are

Mr Hwang Hyunjin

Sort code: 25-03-18

Account number: 23242526

The £15 deposit will be deducted from your payment on the day of our date unless you would like to roll your deposit over to secure all future bookings!

If you would like to cancel our date, a 24hrs notice is required, if your appointment is cancelled under 24hrs your deposit will be lost and a new one will be required if you wish to re-book.

Thank you,

Hyunjin :)

I close the app quickly and smash his banking details into my banking app to quickly transfer. Gosh I’ve never been so desperate in my whole life, but what could go wrong? He seems so professional.

I’m almost surprised and I can't help but wonder how old he is, being this professional, and how many dates he's gone on. I check the bank details for the umpteenth time making sure it’s definitely right.

Pearl:

I’ve sent the deposit, um can I book you all day Saturday just to go over stuff?

Hyunjin❤️‍🔥:

Yes of course and our date has been confirmed!

I can’t wait!

What's your favourite type of flower?

Why does he want to know that?

Pearl:

I don’t know, why?

Hyunjin❤️‍🔥:

Don’t worry about it.

Do you want to spend some time getting to know each other before our first date?

Pearl:

Um no, it's alright, we can get to know each other better Thursday.

Hyunjin❤️‍🔥:

Okay, I can’t wait to see you then at 12:30.

Pearl:

Okay, see you then.

I sit up on my bed and feel like a massive weight has been lifted from my shoulders, and I can finally breathe.

God, this man is good at wording shit. I just hope he’s as good in real life as he is online.

I need to tell Cynthia about this at university tomorrow and try to avoid Minho, the biggest inconvenience in my life, like the plague but that's going to be hard sitting next to him.

I should probably look at Hyunjin’s profile more but that can wait till tomorrow when I see Cynthia, she’ll want to see what he looks like anyway. Yeah, it can wait.

~

“Look who’s here! Slept well, princess?” Minho smirks on his chair, his back balancing on his seat, while his legs are shamelessly stretched out on mine. The gesture bothers me to no end, not because he’s dirtying my chair, but because let’s be real: Lee Minho would never have dirty shoes. You could probably lick the soles of his feet and they’d be cleaner than the whole university, perhaps even than my room, even though I dislike admitting anything positive about this prick.

His presence alone bothers me.

“No, Minho, I slept like shit, if you care that much. Get your feet off my fucking chair, you prick.”

“My, my is that how a daddy's girl should talk?” he raises both his eyebrows at me, making however no attempt to move.

Seeing the audacity of this asshole, I take my small square Valentino bag from my shoulder and smack his feet with it, making him wince in pain.

“I’m not a daddy’s girl, and that’s payback for last night, you twat.” I say through clenched teeth and stare daggers at him, and oh, if only looks could kill.

“What did I do to you last night, huh? Did I give it to you that good? Make it hard for you to walk today? Aww does it hurt?” he asks in a way too loud voice and smirks, making everyone around us turn to watch in surprise at the implication of his words.

This fucking…

At least he took his feet off my seat.

“Stop spewing bullshit. Did you know what our parents were planning?” I question him harshly, implying that he did know.

But he’s quick to defend this misinformation, “Fuck, no, you think I’d ever want to get married to a girl like you?!” He said, giving me a look of disgust.

I gasp at his cringing face, quite offended. I don’t see anything wrong with me, “Uhm, excuse me?! What is that supposed to mean?”

His lips turn into a displeased frown, “What, is it not obvious what a spoiled princess you are? Or are you actually that ignorant?”

I sit down annoyed and scoff. He doesn’t know anything about me, but he seems to have assumed everything I do. I’m pretty sure breathing next to him would send him off on a tantrum.

“Look, Minho, I don’t give a shit what you think about me.” I say unbothered, “You don’t want to get married to me?! Neither do I, it goes both ways, knob-head.” I pull out a small, pink, sparkly compact mirror and my lip tint from the bag and start reapplying a thick layer of the nude shade.

“Glad we’re on the same page, then.” he shrugs. “What’s that thing about you having a boyfriend, anyway?”

“It’s none of your business,” I reply without even glancing at Minho. He’s annoyed me way too much for his own good with the ‘girl like you’ remark.

“It is, if we’re gonna get married.” he shrugs again, making me roll my eyes.

I almost paint lipstick over my face from laughing, is he really that delusional? “But we are not.” I finally look away from the mirror and stare right at him.

“Unless you give our parents a good enough reason, yes we are.”

“How are you so okay with it, anyway, mister ‘I don’t wanna get married to a spoiled princess’?” I wave my arms around, imitating him.

“It’s not that I’m okay with it. I just know better than to go against them or to put myself between them and their damn company. Don’t you?”

“Of course I do.” I sigh.

“It didn’t look like it yesterday night. You don’t say shit like that in front of your dad’s business partners. Shows exactly how selfish you are.”

“Selfish? Selfish? For not wanting to get married out of my parent’s convenience? For a damn business? Is that what selfish looks like to you?” The more I speak, the wider my eyes open.

“No, but it was dumb and selfish to say it right then and there, with us at the same table as you. You should’ve waited until we left at least. It put your parents in a really awkward light, not gonna lie.” He spat. “ inconsiderate arsehole” he tuts.

“No, Minho, what was dumb and selfish was for our parents to put us in that situation. You can be a goody two shoes all you want, but I refuse to be a pawn on my parent’s chess table.”

“Aren’t we all pawns on each other’s tables, anyway? Especially in our world. Why does it matter that you’re on your parents?” he shrugs, his lips turning into a straight line.

“Well, for starters, they didn’t expect Seungmin to marry a random rich girl for the well-being of the company.”

“I’m not a random rich guy, princess. You should know.” He inches his face closer to mine, making me unintentionally blush.

God, how I hate this guy.

I must just be startled, that’s all.

“How could you lie so adamantly at the dinner table, Pearl?” He ridicules me, whispering right in my ear, seemingly aware of the effect he is having on me. Do the goosebumps on my arm give it away?

“I wasn’t lying, Minho.” I turn my head and look straight at him.

“Oh yeah?” He mocks me.

“Yea! As I said, I have a boyfriend, so I won’t get married to you. Should I spell it out?” I raise my eyebrows.

“Then what’s his name?” he asks with a smirk, laying back down on his seat, watching me with amusement in his eyes.

“Hyunjin.” I blurt out in a low tone that comes out more like a whisper.

“You really aren’t lying?” he asks, still unconvinced.

“Of course, I’m not lying. Who lies about stuff like that?” I roll my eyes, avoiding looking at him more. The last thing I’d want is for him to notice that I’m insincere.

“Good luck on Saturday, then.” he shrugs and turns his attention to a game on his phone, as if to pretend I’m not there anymore.

Before I get a chance to reply, the professor walks into the room and another boring ass lecture starts.

~

“Why so sour?” Cynthia hands me an iced coffee she probably just got from the cafe.

“Thanks,” I reply, taking a big deserved sip. “It’s fucking Minho.”

“Fucking Minho? He looks like he fucks well-” she starts, before I playfully slap the back of her head, making her rub the spot I hit and pout.

“Hey! Are looks all there is to it for you? Is that why you’re dating my brother?” I ask annoyed.

“Of course not! Okay, okay, tell me what happened, I give up.” she nudges me.

“He’s such a dick! Ugh, it’s like he’s not bothered at all by this whole marriage thing!”

“Maybe he wants to get married to you? You’re rich, good-looking, hot…”

“Nah, he basically told me he sees me as a spoiled brat and hates the idea of marrying me. He just wants to respect his parents’ wishes.” I take another sip of the drink while Cynthia takes in all the information I just gave her.

“Pfft.” she chuckles. “Spoiled rotten brat? The Lee Minho says that? He must not notice how similar you two are.”

“Similar? Girl, in what world?” I look at her with disgust, but before hearing a dumb answer from her, I decide to change the topic and let her know of my sudden burst of confidence last night. “By the way, I downloaded that app you told me about. The pearl one.”

“No way! Pearls on Your Neck?! Is it for real?!” She squealed.

“You sent it to me before even checking if it’s legit?” I scoff. “Whatever, it is, and I’m having a date on Thursday.”

Cynthia basically jumped me, grabbing my clutch off my shoulder and nicking me with her sharp, white, stiletto nails in the process, “What the fuck are you doing! Ouch! You could of broken skin!” I say rubbing my shoulder, she could have drawn blood!

“Oh shut up, it didn’t hurt,” she brushed me off, completely ignoring my superficial wound and rummaging through my bag, “where’s your bloody phone?”

“It’s in my pocket, idiot.” I say reaching into my jean pocket and waving my phone in her face.

“Show me your rental boyfriend now!” She demands, trying to grab my phone like a child.

This girl is a health and safety issue.

I roll my eyes at her immature behaviour, “God sake Cynthia! Calm the fuck down! Let's sit down first,” I say motioning towards an old wooden bench near the university field.

I finally get to sit down from walking all the way from class, I finally get to enjoy this break. It’s peaceful here without Minho, who is my own personal thorn in my side.

I take a big sip of my iced coffee and sigh contently, it’s sugary and sweet. It tastes so good, it's like it's dancing on my taste buds. I feel like Ratatouille in that one scene when he eats cheese and strawberry at the same time.

“So?” It was peaceful until I got reminded about the other thorn in my side whom I actually like.

I side-eye the girl and I didn't even realise she was so close to me, “yes, Cynthia?”

She clicks her tongue, “Pearl, you're hopless! What were we talking about a second ago?!” she analyses my baffled face and huffs, “ Does your rental boyfriend ring any bells?” She says, sarcasm laced in her voice.

“Oh yeah!”

She tuts disapprovingly, “Sometimes I wonder how you’ve survived this long,”andsnatches my phone out of my hands. “Give me that” She looks at me a second longer and raises a threatening hand, “Useless girl.”

I can’t help but laugh at her, “His name is Hyunjin… I don’t really remember what he looks like, I kinda panicked and picked the first profile I saw” I shrug halfheartedly.

She opens my phone and locates the app, scrolling through until she finds him, or that's what I assume since she yawps so loudly, making me jump, “Pearl, are you serious? How could you not remember what he looks like?” She says shoving my phone in my face.

Shit, yeah how could I forget what he looks like?

He looks like a model. Four pictures are attached to his profile, his hair is long and blonde; it just tickles his shoulders and in one of the pictures it reaches his collarbones. His eyebrows are thick and well-maintained; any girl would kill for those eyebrows. Thick lips and a sharp jawline as well… is this man even real?

“Cynthia! I think I’ve been scammed!” I cry, putting my iced coffee on the gravel floor, “He can’t be real… like he can’t be on this app, right?”

I look again at the pictures, I look at his long neck and proportionate head on top of a broad pair of shoulders. He looks tall, really tall, not too skinny either but not too muscular.

Cynthia lets out a hearty laugh, “I don't think you’ve been scammed, look here,” she points to a tick beside his name, “It says all profiles are checked for legitimacy.”

I’m never one to be speechless and that is saying something. How…why is he on an app like that?

“Pearl, what's he like? Did you stay up all night messaging?” She is far too eager for my liking.

“You know he’s not actually my boyfriend, right?”

She’s still staring at my phone in her hand, “So… you're saying you don’t know anything about him?” She says tilting her head.

I nod, “Well he asked if I wanted to get to know each other better, but I just said that we can do that Thursday when we go to pick out his clothes for the dinner and stuff.”

“How many times do I have to repeat myself today? You. Are. Useless.” she spoke, poking me in the forehead.

“What was I supposed to do?” I bark trying to defend my corner.

“Um… try to get to know the guy, obviously.” she rolls her eyes at me, “You never know, maybe he’ll turn into your real boyfriend… omg you two would have such good-looking kids, not as good-looking as mine and Seungmin’s though.” She’s really ahead of herself.

“Fucking hell do you want to arrange my second marriage?” I snatch my phone from her hand, “Cynth, don’t get too ahead of yourself, it’s his job. Obviously, he can’t actually date clients. That would be illogical, there's probably some ‘how to be a rental boyfriend rule book’ they have to follow.”

“Pff, whatever you say… there’s no point not to try though?” She says smiling and nudging me in the ribs.

“It seems like you've completely forgotten who you're talking to, am I even your best friend?” I look at her seriously, “What’s my end-of-life goal?”

I watch her as she raises her hand to her temple and starts massaging it, “Oh yeah how could I forget that my best friend wants to be a lonely old hag surrounded by feral creatures and die alone.”

“Cats are not feral creatures” I defend bringing my hands up to quote her, “They are amazing companions, unlike children and husbands. I can already see a few grey hairs you’ve gained from being with Seungmin” I tease.

“Really?!”

“Obviously not.” I deadpan.

“But Pearl, I don't want my best friend to grow old without children, don't you want to take our kids on cute play dates?”

“I can bring my cat to play with your child, if it’s anything like you it will be feral enough to maybe… even communicate with it!” I laugh at my own joke.

“Whatever” she mumbles.

I look around and see couples sat on the field together and I can’t lie and say it doesn’t look nice. I can’t lie and say I don't want someone to have love me for me, but unconditional love is hard to find in this day and age, it’s not that it's impossible. It’s just something that’s so rare to find, you're probably going to get struck by lightning before you find it. I can understand that couples can have quarrels, but I can’t deal with that conflict. I mean, I can barely take it from Minho and I absolutely despise him. I don’t want to imagine fighting with someone I love. Love drives people crazy and I do not want to be one of them people.

Cats would never hurt me or make me wonder and I'm untroubled with the little life I envision for myself when I'm old. Hyunjin may be undeniably attractive but it would never work, hell, I've never even met him. I don't even know what he’s like, he could be another conceited, vain, narcissistic, prick like Minho. I shudder at the thought.

It’s definitely time to go home, I meet Hyunjin tomorrow and I need my beauty sleep.

“Cynth, I need to go home, will you please help me get ready tomorrow?” I say sweetly and batting my eyelashes at her.

She jumps up excitedly, “Of course I will! You know I love that stuff! You're going to be my own personal Barbie doll tomorrow!” She sings.

I internally sigh knowing what I have gotten myself into.

Once I get home I get changed into my pink stripey PJs and throw myself into my bed, and fall asleep thinking about tomorrow.

---

Part Two

[bordysbae]

can you do 8. “are they fighting again?” “worse, they’re kissing” with Alex Turcotte?

“round what?”

alex turcotte x reader

warning: cursing, slight mention of underage drinking

you and alex never end on good terms. you’ve never actually dated, but everyone knows you guys are only interested in each other. but somehow the both of you managed to mess up the two other previous attempts at being a thing. alex being the first one to mess up used the excuse of ‘well we aren’t dating,’ and you used the same one on him two months later.

you met through a friend group, and the group has been awkward ever since you and alex ended, again, nearly a month ago. if the group decides to hang out, they always do it when either you or alex cant come. there has been a few times where you and alex are there at the same time, but you avoid speaking cause it just causes problems. as you’ve learned from past experiences.

“alex can you stop glaring at me when i talk to jack? jesus, i’m not allowed to talk to my friend?” you scofffed in the beecher-family kitchen.

“i just don’t appreciate seeing my ex all over my best fucking friend,” he shrugged.

“your ex? we never even dated alex! you’re so self absorbed it’s crazy honestly,” you angrily chuckled.

“we basically dated, you can’t tell me we were nothing,” the dark haired boy stated before he sipped the water from his glass.

“you’re joking right? you literally used the excuse ‘we’re not even dating,’ alex! this is so stupid, i was literally just talking to jack. you’re so fucking insecure, i cant deal,” you rolled your eyes as you exited the kitchen.

but now you’re sat at the group event with a raspberry white claw in your hand. being in the same room as alex is going fine, until someone gets the bright idea to play truth or dare. “turcs, truth or dare?” trevor asks with a devilish smile on his face.

“dare, i’m not a wuss,” he cockily shrugs before taking a sip of his beer. a few ‘ooh’s can be heard, making alex’s massive ego inflate ever larger.

“good answer! i dare you to play seven minutes in heaven with y/n,” he smirks, making both you and alex’s eyes go wide.

“what?! hell no man! no offense y/n,” alex says, turning to face you during the last part of his sentence.

“none taken,” you mumble making jack push his shoulder into yours.

“alex, i thought you said you weren’t a wuss? you know if you skip the question you have to shoot fireball, right?” cole chimes in, making alex groan. he rises from his spot on the L shaped couch in the hughes’ family basement, and he gives you an ‘im sorry’ look as you stand up as well. trevor sets his timer as he locks you both in the closet.

you sit on the floor by the coats, and alex sits against the wall in front of you. your legs are stretched out by his waist, his doing the same. you can’t help but notice the small hole forming in his gray socks as you avoid eye contact with the boy. “i’m sorry,” he blurts out, drawing your attention from his socks to his face.

“for what?”

“everything, y/n. i’ve always been such a dick to you, even when we were talking. but god do i miss you,” he admits as an adrenaline high begins to form from the nerves.

“you do?” you hesitantly question.

“of course i do. do you even realize how much i liked you? hell y/n, i still do. i hated myself for hooking up with that girl at the party, and instead of admitting my wrongs i used some dumb excuse. and then i changed myself for you, but when we started talking the second time you hooked up with that guy. which really hurt. i know it shouldn’t have, but that’s when i truly realized how much i had hurt you when i was the one did it. so yeah, i miss you. a lot,” alex rambles.

your face heats up, and you scoot across the closet closer to him. you readjust yourself so that you’re sat next to him, and turn to look up at him slightly. he then leans in, and you connect your lips to his. you guys continue kissing for a moment, until trevor unlocks the door and gasps. he snickers before closing the door and heading back to the group in the other room.

“i’m so done with them!” trevor groans as he sits back down on the couch.

“are they fighting again?” cole asks.

“worse, they’re kissing!” trevor chuckles, making everyone’s eyes widen and a few laughs escape.

“this round what, like.. seven?” johnny teases.

“it’s round three, but hey third times a charm!” jack shrugs, just as you and alex walk back into the room.

[meebochii]

thoughts on the stonehearts?

I'm going to exclude Aventurine, Topaz and Jade because I'm pretty sure you're not asking about them but everyone else but if you wanna ask about them too just hit me up again!

Thoughts under cut cuz it's a little long since it's 7 people.

Amber

Not much to say as we really didn't learn or see anything of her. We only know that she doesn't really care one way or the other about what happens to Aventurine as she's the only one to choose neutral.

Agate

Obsidian mentioned that Agate might be dead which means they're probably very much alive somewhere. The question is: did they go missing during a mission or did they just fuck off because they hate their job? It'll be interesting to see.

Obsidian

Dom Mommys really don't do it for me... Maybe she's got more to her than that but that's left to be seen. For now though? Can't say I care much.

Opal

My Boy! I do admit that I'm a little disappointed that we got a Pepeshi instead of a short king but that in and off itself is also pretty hilarious; I mean, he's basically Evil Boss Baby. Keep it up, little gremlin! I'll be pulling for you.

Pearl

I didn't expect Pearl to look like this when I heard that she was an Intellitron but MY GOD! She's so damn pretty. I definitely want to pull for her as well.

Sapphire

It remains to be seen if Sapphire is a knight or a shapeshifter but either way he's a guy so that means he's potential husbando material (which I need after they gave me a son instead with Opal). We'll see how it plays out.

Sugilite

He talks the talk but I really wonder if he can walk the walk? He should actually be right up my alley considering he's a blonde asshole but I dunno... He doesn't really do it for me just yet. Maybe I just gotta see more of him.

[saltymothball]

my unpopular takes on beetlejuice beetlejuice SPOILERS!! (long post)

(i am a fan of the original pls do not come for me) these are just my thoughts on the sequel :D please feel free to add yours too

context! im writing these notes as i watch so theyre a little disorganized

for reference i also rewatched the original immediately prior to the sequel

not opening with the classic beetlejuice muisic ?? even the stage show opens with that music where is it (EDIT- restarted it and it actually does open w the music, but it is much less fun/campy an and more of a spooky remix so i forgot)

its not plot necessary but i do wish we learned how BJ fixed his shrunken head and death by sandworm

where are the maitlands ???? 0 mention of adam and barbra at the beginning ?

BJ's ex wife intro was a very creative concept but i wish they did it with more sfx props and less cgi/green screen

Astrid is like very boring, theyve done nothing to get the audience (me) invested in her?? disney wish vibes like who is she

call it a headcanon i feel like lydia wouldnt be this fucking awkward of a parent ?? she had good role models ie adam and barbra (even if her own parents werent as active, by the end of the original movie it implied they were now living in a healthy family dynamic

the mother daughter drama feels really forced, reminds me of the out-of-place tension between wednesday and morticia in the 2023 show

all angles are super close up and feel like horror angles. the scene where astrid befriends that boy ?? felt like someone was gonna come up and kill them the ENTIRE interaction (edit i guess that makes sense but it nerfed the scene)

IMMEDIATELY knew his parents are dead btw. not showing their faces is so clearly they are dead. not an ounce of mystery. theory the boy might be a ghost too?

theory astrids dad isnt dead bc Lydia cant see him

the witching hour wrong ?? last i knew it was 3am not 12am. weird thing to get wrong

its like not a silly campy vibe ?? its like uncomfortable.

dont like lydias new man hes pushy and gross

i miss adam and barbra

it doesnt make sense that no one taking lydia seriously ? delia knows she can see ghosts and has also experienced beetlejuice

lydias fiance is a horrid excuse for a partner (how tf did she meet him like did he just walk in bc the plot needed another person to hate lydia

not the dead protester joke :(

the spill-your-guts/pregnancy felt really idk,,, icky??? dont know how to explain it but it uncomfortably long

follow up- a lot of the visual ghost gags felt very gross/gorey ? like in the original movie the gags were inbetween silly/sexual/spooky-but this one feels more like blood and guts instead of spiders and snakes. exhibit A) otho casually shoving corpse barbra out of the way when looking at the closet with delia / exhibit b) the guy with the cigarettes at the end of the original

theory that astrid is going to end up seeing ghosts by the end of the movie

love the "eeee!" noise BJ makes when people say his name

ok BJ with the guitar after lydia tells him off was legitimately funny

i know astrid is an angsty teen but my god she is so hostile towards lydia

calling it at 56mins the boys parents are SO dead bc they deliberately didnt have lydia meet them

listen i have nothing against jenna ortega but it feels like she is type-casted to play exactly one character now, like let the girl play something other than a monotone gothy teen

"they found a loophole and moved on" okay whatever that means

astrids awkwardness w this ghost boy is pretty cute. he is so definitely a ghost though

yup called it hes a ghost

"my mom was telling the truth... shit" lmao

this boy feels very sus bc why are you trying to bribe her w her father

still no info on how lydia and rory met ??

MURDER HOUSE ?? TH BOY IS A MURDERER ??? okay thats a good twist ill give them that

astrid going into the afterlife to see her dad feels very "lydia going to the afterlife to see her mom" plot from the stage show ?

astrid honey you have too much faith in this ghost boy

oh my fucking god delia did you really get poisonous snakes....so on brand for her

Beetlegeuse literally carrying the whole movie

every scene he's in is absolutely giving

william dafoe is pretty good too but adding him just feels like he is william dafoe and not the character hes playing (who is also an actor)

delia correcting herself from saying fuck is really funny like girl was that scripted

okay ok astrd seeing her dad working in immigration was pretty neat

i had actually forgotten abt BJs ex wife until now ? doesnt seem like she actually adds much to the story beyond giving BJ a new reason to pursue lydia... which he was already doing...?

are they all going to end up in the afterlfe wtf

the afterlife desert takes place on the fucking moon of saturn ?? okay

is it just me or is the sandworm not claymation... like maybe its just the way it looks but i swear it looks like they cgi'd it but then cut down the frame rate

damn lydias husband really got eaten by piranhas.. what a way to die oh my god

there was no real stakes to astrid switching her soul? they resolved that so fast like lydia just grabbed her and they ran

oh their husband/dad is back now everything is fixed...? like all that hate towards her mom is now gone bc her mom was telling the truth about seeing ghosts? dad just resolved the only conflict

beetlejuice didnt even help get astrid back he went on a pee break and the plot progressed

love bad cop william defoe

"are you filled with fear and trembling?" "yes im shitting my pants" absolutely gold

BJ on fetchquests this whole movie fr

the soul sucking lady please she ate bobs nametag :(

ok wtf they really solved ghost boy dilemma in 5 seconds, BJ ex machina... like he rlly just got him like that ??? anticlimactic

ok good astrid apologized for being a shitty kid

rory please stop kissing lydias neck

i kind of hate the modern nods like the self securing seatbelt in the priests car, or the influencers at the wedding, really weird unnecessary detail

BJ and Delia wedding crashers my fav

how did Beetlejuice get into the church ? if he is a demon like previously established, shouldnt he NOT be able to step on holy ground

enjoyed the slapstick moment of lydia punching rory, good moment

her red dress omg !! pretty

BJ himself is just too funny, making the priest sing top tier

i still miss adam and barbra :( if they can cgi that dead guy in star wars i think we couldve brought alec baldwin and geena davis who are in fact still very alive and look great

they really didnt make me interested in BJs ex wife other than she is pretty and looks like morticia addams ?

BJ making everybody partake in singing is very silly

everybody dancing at the wedding scene must have been fun to film, everybody looks like theyre jamming

lmao whos dog was that in the hallucinations ?? is that the dog who killed the maitlands

"ghoul squad" ok monster high

oh finally his ex is here

lydia so casually pushed out of the way lmao

why does BJ have more etherial powers than every other ghost?

offering rory to the soul sucking lady is so good

theyre really just gonna sandworm for the plot resolution again ???

his ex wife was a threat for all of 4 seconds

lol the legal marriage loophole was kinda funny

is delia like forever dead ? is she a ghost now? is beetlejuice dead?

i still love delia. "i will find charles and we will haunt you both" good for her

are the influencer wedding guests dead

everything got wrapped up very quickly

good on delia for still loving her husband even though that shark absolutely annihilated him

what ?? astrid is married now???

WHAT ??? SHES GIVING BIRTH ?????

oh ok its a dream

having a second pregnancy bit felt really weird

they alluded to another sequel :(

please remember i am actually a huge fan of beetlejuice !! no hate to the franchise these are just my personal opinions on the sequel. i would love to hear your thoughts as well !!

[kissorkill16]

You're The Victim: A Hello Neighbor Fanfic

By JJ

Summary: After you read this, you'll learn who's the true victim here.

Mr. Murtaugh sat across from Nicky at his desk, hands folded and lips curled into his usual creepy smile.

"I see you've been really sluggish lately, Nicholas.", he said, "I take it you've been taking the pills I gave you?"

Nicky nodded, "I think they're working a little too well.", he yawned.

"Well we'll discuss that later, dear.", said the science teacher, he stood up and walked behind the boy in his seat. "Right now, I want to know how much you've progressed this past week."

Nicky looked down at his lap. "I don't know why, but I feel like I would've been better off alone."

Mr. Murtaugh looked down at Nicky, a little hint of worry in his eyes. "What makes you say that?"

"I feel like if I hadn't been so desperate to make friends, none of this would be happening right now.", said Nicky. "Lucy wouldn't have died, Mrs. Peterson wouldn't have died, Aaron and Mya wouldn't have gone missing, Mr. Peterson wouldn't have gone crazy, my grandmother wouldn't have gotten killed, no one would've hated me, I wouldn't have been kidnapped, and I wouldn't feel like shit."

"Hey, watch your tongue!"

"Sorry."

Mr. Murtaugh put a gentle hand on his shoulder, "Nicholas, don't say things like that. It's not your fault that you lost so much with no warning. Sometimes, people just have to go and there's nothing you can do about it."

Nicky continued to look at his shoes.

"But while they're no longer alive, they're still in our beautiful memories. We still love them with all of our hearts and souls. Don't we?"

The boy nodded.

"Great."

The science teacher walked back to his side of the desk, "As for the people hating you bit. That's not your fault at all.", he said.

"What do you mean?"

"Well after all that you've been telling me, it seems like you're more of an innocent victim."

When Mr. Murtaugh said that, Nicky's eyes widened in shock. "Innocent victim? Are we still talking about me? I'm not innocent, sir, far from it actually."

"Nicholas, after everything you told me, I'd like to politely object, for the following reasons.", said the science teacher. "First, you told me that your grandmother had been unstable and hard on you for years, then you tell me that before she was murdered, she called you a cursed child. Lucy's death was an accident, and the crazy old bat thought it was your fault? Disgusting. Then after you witnessed Mr. Peterson doing some pretty abnormal things, people made fun of you and called you names. Does Nutty Nicky ring a bell? Or maybe Sick Nick?"

Nicky felt like hugging his knees when he heard those god awful nicknames that a couple of cruel students gave him. He didn't know where "Sick Nick" came from, but he definitely remembered that "Nutty Nicky" came from Finch.

"Then while you were in Mr. Peterson's basement, he told you that he never chased you past his property line because he wanted to make you look like a maniac. He kept you locked up in a room with a demon shadow creature that forced you to play games with it. Actually, let me check again. Did you want to play with them, or did they force you to play?"

Nicky didn't want to answer that question, but he felt his science teacher's eyes staring into his soul, and that made him extremely uncomfortable. "Forced me.", he mumbled.

"Exactly."

The science teacher continued on, "Then a month went by, and when you escaped the basement, you learned that not one of your friends had bothered to look for you. Not even your parents who you love so much. Then when you came back to school, Finch and a bunch of other people said your trauma was fake and that you've turned into a mindless little doll.", he said. "Then you took a few more days off, and when you came back, you learned that Finch had taken a picture of your mental breakdown and shared it with the entire rest of the school for everyone to see."

Nicky brought his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around his legs.

"But now that I'm here to talk to you about all of your problems, you've been progressing and slowly making a real full recovery.", said the science teacher. "And here I am, telling you that you're the innocent victim, and you don't believe me even after I've basically told you your entire story?"

Nicky looked down at the floor.

"Darling, you've suffered from not only bullying. You've suffered from emotional abuse, parental neglect, one sided friendships, spiritual abuse from an actual spirit, physical abuse, and nightmares of all of your traumas put together."

Nicky's eyes widened, "Damn. I think that's some kind of record.", he thought.

"I appreciate you listing out all of the things I've told you, but I'm still not sure if we're still talking about me.", said Nicky. "I mean, I'm also the one who worked alongside Aaron Peterson with all of the nasty pranks around Raven Brooks. I was one of the brash delinquents who made teachers regret their life choices. ...I told my grandma I hated her."

Mr. Murtaugh tapped his chin as he thought about that. "You do have a point.", he said.

"And I made all of my friends accomplices to my activities. I pounced on the new students when the old ones got fed up with me, and then the new kids got fed up with me too. I've been to detention more times than I can count on my hands. I -"

"Nicholas."

Nicky stopped talking and looked at Mr. Murtaugh.

"While that all may be true, I still fail to see how you think you're not an innocent victim, even after all you've been through. While you may have committed a couple of sins in the past, it seems like you're trying to push more of the blame on yourself. You've suffered more than you should have, dear. Remember that."

Nicky was about to say something, but his words got caught in his throat. He knew he wouldn't win this fight. No matter how much he tried to deny it, Mr. Murtaugh had basically told him that he was an innocent victim of several kinds of abuse.

The science teacher knelt down to meet Nicky's level. "Repeat after me.", he said. "I am the victim."

"I am the victim.", Nicky repeated.

"I went through the most."

"I went through the most."

"I've felt more pain than anyone."

Nicky paused for a moment, thinking about that line. Technically, it was just emotional pain. If he wanted to talk about pain, then he should look at Maritza's leg, she stepped in a bear trap.

"Nicholas, say it.", said Mr. Murtaugh, getting his attention back. "I've felt more pain than anyone."

Nicky stayed silent for a moment, then he said that line that he felt wasn't entirely true, not because he wanted to, but because he just wanted it to sound believable enough for his science teacher so he'd back off this topic.

"I've felt more pain than anyone."

[running-with-the-feels]

Can you imagine the kind of grief Suchin would go through if she was brought back by Kronica? Like, one second she’s fighting for her and her son’s life against what seems to be an endless wave of assassins, praying and hoping they don’t find him, then she’s yoinked from her time and is now standing before a god, by the way those are real, and she’s saying she can make it so her and her son are never discovered and she can raise the boy in peace, just do her this one small favor and kill these people for her. She agrees, assuming that if events are unaltered that both her and Takeda would have died, so like the younger Scorpion, she’s fighting for a lie.

Then she meets the people she’s tasked with killing, some military grunts and their bosses and another god. Whatever. But then one of them asks for her name mid flight and she gives it, thinking nothing of it, the person is about to die anyway, but they pause and have this haunted look in their eyes and immediately call everything off and start panicking because holy shit they were about to kill Takeda’s mom. This is messed up. And now she pauses because how do they know her son? He’s alive? He’s involved in all of his?

Then she learns who she’s been fighting. His friends, his fiancé, his mentor, his adoptive father and master. It’s 20 years into the future and Kronica puppeted her into fighting the people her son cared most about. She was played a fool.

Once everything is over and a new god is made and things calm down she finally sees him again but he’s so vastly different she can’t recognize him at all. Her son was a small, shy, young boy that stubbornly clung to his mother and was wary of outsiders. This was a charismatic, witty, and kindhearted young man that is fiercely loyal to his friends and clan. He had become a warrior and she had missed every step of that progression and it hurt.

She'd be wracked with grief but refuse to show it and Takeda would see right through her. I bet the only person who could really get through to her about it would be Hanzo

Also, her reactions with young Sonya would be very interesting. Bc Suchin loves her son, always has, but young Sonya is understandably put off by the thought of having a kid with someone she hates, so they'd have some interesting convos

Kronika would get ripped a new one tho, Suchin isn't "The Bitch With A Blade" for no reason, after all

[starbounddragon]

I am 6 years old and my family tries to call me Lexi.

They tell me it's a nickname

It is uncomfortable in a way I don't have words for

Like the Easter dress my mother always made me wear

There is an ache in my whole body I cannot explain

I ask them not to call me that

It's years before they listen

I am 8 and my best friend is a boy

I play sports and read books and detest Barbies

I am branded "tomboy"

It fits like wearing my dad's oversized baseball mitt

Roomy, not uncomfortable, but not right

I am told I should be more ladylike

I am 10 sitting with the other girls from my class

They ask why I never wear the uniform skirt

I tell them I just prefer to wear the pants.

I do not explain how I begged my mother not to buy any skirts.

I do not explain the panic I felt when I tried it in on at the uniform store.

I just prefer pants.

I am 12 and my best friend switches schools

The same girls ask if I miss him

They ask if we're dating.

My face grows hot and I forget how to speak

Before I can deny it another girl scoffs

She says my shoulders are too broad

She says I am not a pretty girl

She means it as an insult

Why am I relieved when she says I'm not a girl

13 and I have a new best friend

A girl this time

It feels different in a way I don't have words for

She doesn't go to my school

For the first time I beg my parents for a cell phone

I text her every day

The school year starts and I have my first health class

I go to a Catholic school

The two "teachers", a youth pastor and the ccd coordinator, tell my class to hate the sin, love the sinner

One of them says she loves her brother but he's going to hell for his "gay lifestyle".

To their merit, my classmates are outraged.

Their uncle, oldest brother, cousin, is gay.

They protest on behalf of their loved ones.

The teacher does not change her stance.

I am ashamed.

I am afraid.

I am silent.

I am 14 and I hold a door open for a stranger and his kid

The man tell his son to "say thank you sir"

I feel like a fish on dry land

I feel my broad shoulders

I feel like wearing a uniform skirt

I feel tomboy

I feel Lexi

He's gone before I correct him

How do I run from this

15 and I only wear blouses and push up bras

I only wear my hair down

I can't bring myself to wear a skirt

My highschool is Christian not Catholic

Chapel every Wednesday reminds us girls to honor our husbands

Health on Fridays says babies are God's plan

There is no path more fulfilling than joyful motherhood

I tell my teacher I do not want to be a mother

She assures me she didn't either at 15

Her husband changed her mind at 20

The rage I feel is familiar

So is the grief

This is the year I learn the term asexual

This is the year I learn I am not aromantic

This is the year I become two people

My family and school friends are all conservative

We do group activities

We talk about their lives

I keep them at arms length

They don't ask

They don't notice

They don't want to know

My summer camp friends are all queer

I tell them everything

My girl best friend is one of them

She's pansexual

I realize I'm in love with her

I also realize I can't have a girlfriend

Not like this

Not as two people

I'm not ready

We're 16 and she tells me she's gender fluid

She tells me her pronouns are she/they

I didn't realize a person could be that

I wish I could be they too.

They call me Lex.

It doesn't hurt.

At 20 I learn the term agender and it feels like finding something I didn't know I was looking for.

I'm still two people but not as much anymore.

25 is the first time I say it out loud to other people

Friends from college who are also they/them

And for the first time since 15 I feel like a whole person.