#god do i love kaz brekker

[paintsandquests]

An evening in Ketterdam

[arggghhhsstuff]

find yourself someone that will speak about you the way kaz writes about inej in The Best Worst Kept Secret in Ketterdam by FairytalesOfForever on ao3

[zulemmita]

I died

[curiouserstrangeone]

This is so fucking pretty

demjin

[barbarianbookhoe]

I swear I'm never gonna find the love I know I right-fucking-fully deserve

I just rewatched Bridgerton season 3 for the 3rd time already, and MY GOD, if a man does not yearn for me like a Bridgerton man😩

Request: Kaz Brekker x drunk (fem) reader (this is a long fcking one)

Too Sweet

TW: fluff, mention of assault

"And then, THEN he said I am just as useful as a rock. A damn rock!," she scoffed as she swayed in her seat. "Rocks can bee useful," she mumbled, "you can throw 'em at people. Like me! I can be thron at people," she hiccuped once before pointing at her glass for the bartender to re-fill.

The guy just shook his head at her and told her to stop shouting at costumers, or find someplace else. Apparently, she's been a lot friendlier than she thought.

She dropped some kruge on the counter, not having enough common sense left to count if it was even enough.

"But his eeeyes while he looked at me, oh Saints, his eyes are so beautifuuul, and sooo blue, they make me swoooon," Y/N told a waitress, who just laughed at the lovesick girl, who's been talking about a boy for the past 10 minutes.

"Oh honey, you have such a soft spot for that boy!" She laughed, and Y/N just nodded. "Yeah, and-and you should see his cheeks and ears, that when he gets flustred, no, flusterred, uh, flus-tered, yes, they turn red but he hides it, and no one sees, but I see it, because he has such a preeeetty face," she tells her on a high pitched voice, and even rests her head on her arms and lets out a sigh.

Y/N talking about her love life being the only thing actually happening in the small bar, the waitress sats down in front of her after getting out a round of drinks. The two women began their discussion about the boy, and the way Y/N cannot stop smiling while talking about him makes the waitress smile herself.

The sound of a cane tapping on the floor makes the lady turn around, only to find the Bastard of the Barrel himself staring right at her. No, not at her, but the girl on the other side of the table. She gets up and with a quick goodbye slips out of her seat, to make her way to the other side of the place.

Kaz Brekker, as if he had all the time in the world, slowly walked over to his Crow, who was supposed to be in the Club with their group hours ago.

He'd only been trailing her for an hour or two, but in that time she already went through 3 bars. Not counting the one, or ones, where he wasn't present. And without paying. Kaz made sure she wouldn't be in debt by the next morning. As he looked at her drunken state, he began questioning his own plan to get her home as soon as possible.

"Jeeesss!" Y/N looked up at him giddily, practically dragging her words out. "Come 'ere you silly," she signaled for him to sit down, to which Kaz just rolled his eyes. She must've drank quite a lot if she thought him to be the sharpshooter. "Why you in black?" She shook her head as if getting rid of her question and looked at him giddily yet again.

Kaz couldn't shake the bittersweet feeling that slowly made its way into his well-guarded heart. The feeling that she looked the happiest in that moment, drowned in alcohol, probably on the edge of alcohol poisoning, and staring at him with such joy Kaz rarely saw anymore on her, even less in his life. It was clear to him that she was going through something, he just didn't know what it was.

If he had any talent for it he would've drawn her right in that moment, to capture her smile, the shine of her eyes, to keep her this happy at least on paper, to keep her smiling.

"Alright, get up. You're going home," Kaz sternly told her to which she just scoffed. "Ah, but Jesper we have so much to talk aboouuuut," she whined as he took a step closer. "This wasn't a question. You. Are. Going. Home."

"Alrigh', alrigh'," Y/N mumbled to herself as she tried to steady herself enough before attempting to walk on her own. After a few seconds of failing to do so, she quickly straightened her back and began her uncoordinated, swaying march for the door. Kaz was just two steps behind her, and when they got out on the street, he took half a step closer as he stepped next to her.

"Am I late for that meeting? Nahh," She mumbled loud enough for Kaz to hear. "It don' matter. What do I do?" She turned her head to Kaz for a split second before loudly continuing. "I'm talking Jespeeerr!" Kaz quickly shushed her, not wanting to draw any unwanted attention to them.

"Don't ssssshhh me, Kaz sssssh-ushes me, not you!" She said and had it not been for Kaz, she would've tripped in her own foot. "I feel like he doesn't like me anymore," she said then, but Kaz just kept quiet, waiting for her to continue. "I want to tell him to shut up for once, to give 'im my opinion," she began gesturing before herself, as if she wasn't even talking to him anymore, more to herself.

"I feel like... punching him, givin' 'im a piece of mind. Yah, let'ss do that!" She quickly turned around, probably to find Kaz who was standing next to her, but Kaz caught her elbow and stood her in front of him. "You won't do that, alright? You're going home to sleep, and if you still feel like it, you'll give him a punch tomorrow."

"But whyyy? He's always up at night, and that'ss when we taaalk. I can't tell 'im during the dayy!" Her words began to slur again and she was swaying, so Kaz took it as a sign, that she was still in fact really drunk. He didn't let go of her elbow as he guided themselves towards her little flat near Fifth Harbor. It was more like one big room rather than a flat, but she didn't spend that much time there to care about it.

"And why can't you? Is there an unkown force keeping you from it?" He told her while he fought the nausea slowly coming up his throat. They'll be there in a few minutes, he reminded himself. "Jess, why are you the one asking? You're always telling me to lissen to my heart, to not overthink, to just say it. You're not Jesper, that's why!" She said more to herself than Kaz.

"Say what?" Kaz turned to Y/N for a few seconds, trying to see her face to determine what she was feeling. He found himself as curious when he was just a small boy, watching the magicians on the streets of Ketterdam. He watched every little detail of her face, from the flatter of her eyelashes to the unnoticeable tremble of her lips, trying to guess what she was going to say.

"Again with the questionss," she mumbled and right after spoke up on a sad tone, her vice slightly trembling, almost as if she was holding back from crying. "You sound like my landlord. Saints, I hate 'im. He's always angry a-and yelling, and soooo tall, taller than Matthias," she said and Kaz noticed the barely noticeable crack in her voice, making him worry about what more she had to say.

"I mean, I fought 'im twice yesterday, you know, 'cause he was demanding the rent I already payed, givin' me a great punch to my ribs, but like, you know, I'm a fighter, I can take 'im any day, but I mean, he's sooo tall and, and I was tired, so you know I didn't have too much "fight" in me." Y/N rambled, probably unaware of admitting that she was assaulted and making it seem less serious than it was, but still, it made Kaz's vision fog up with red.

How did he not know? How could he let this happen under his watch? Why didn't he felt the need to investigate her place, like he first intended to?

She was still rambling about her landlord and their multiple fights, yes, multiple Kaz realized, getting angrier by the second, when she stumbled and Kaz had to yank her up before she fell on the hard ground.

Without a second thought, or any thought at all, Kaz put her arm around his shoulder and carefully slipped his other arm around her waist to keep her somewhat standing. They were just a block away from her place, but Y/N seemed to cling to Kaz, her legs barely functioning at this point, and Kaz had to lean themselves against an old brick building before they both collapsed.

He also had to take a breather from all the touching, not being used to touching her for this long. Yes, they've stitched up each other countless times, sometimes even caring enough to change each other's bandages. But that never lasted longer than half a minute, or one, which was the limit for Kaz.

As soon as he calmed down, he felt warm fingers touching his face.

He froze in his spot and he had to close his eyes and concentrate on his breathing if he didn't want to start panicking. A minute passed by, and the hands still didn't leave his face, but they began to explore his every feature. It started at his cheeks then to his jaw, his forehead, the hand smoothed over his eyes so carefully as if he was made from glass, then the fingers stopped at his lips. He didn't even know he was forcefully keeping them in a thin line until the warm touch made them slightly part.

When Kaz opened his eyes he felt his heart stop and melt all at once, he felt it cease to beat only to then began pumping his blood with so much force he felt as if his heart was trying to fire up his veins.

Y/N was looking at him with a longing gaze, as if this was her last, yet the first time seeing him. As if he was something worth looking at.

She kept looking at him even though Kaz swore his heart was about to burst into a mess of blood and flames. Her fingers lingered on his lips as her other hand came up to softly caress the side of his face, touching a strand of hair. As if she wasn't able to stop touching him. Kaz felt his lips part even more than before, and his breath got stuck in his throat at her touch. He kept his eyes on her as he felt the need to close them for just one second. He felt his heart throb too fast for his liking, feeling his head getting dizzier by the second.

He was sure he was about to faint.

When her thumb caressed his lips for one second, just one second, she moved both of her hands to the side of his face ever so gently, and Kaz felt his knees tremble under her gaze. They never once broke the eye contact, which made the moment feel even more intimate. The way she was looking at Kaz, the way her eyes reflected the dim light next to them on the street made her eyes sparkle in the moonlight, and Kaz felt himself quietly gasp for air.

Kaz Brekker gasped for air, mesmerized by the sight of her.

He was trying to figure out the emotion behind the look she was giving him all night, when she mentioned him or his name, when she realized he wasn't Jesper, when she took his face in her hands, as she caressed him with such tenderness, as if one wrong touch could shatter him like the finest porcelain.

But when she moved her thumb back to his lips again, slightly caressing it without even noticing, Kaz finally dared to speak up.

"What are you-," He couldn't finish the words he was whispering, because Y/N put his handkerchief between their faces, holding it onto Kaz's lips, as if she was about to...was she? Was she about to...kiss him? Kaz felt like fainting again.

When she spoke up, the drunk look was somewhat gone from her eyes, and bittersweetness took over. "My imagination is wicked, but this might be the cruelest thing it ever did to me, making me see you as if you were real, as if you were here." She whispered it so gently that Kaz had to take a second to grasp what she was saying. "I'm here Y/N, I've been here all night." He said, but she just sadly shook her head.

"You're another hallucination, dream-Kaz, because I can never kiss you in the real world. And even in my dreams, I can't do it without respecting you first," she whispered, smoothing the handkerchief over his lips.

Kaz couldn't pin-point when did his heart pumping began too loud for him to hear, or when did he forget to breathe, but what he knew exactly, was the fact that these all made his thoughts cease to exist. Except one.

"You...dream about me? Above all people you could have choosen, you chose me to dream about?" He asked breathlessly, not believing how small his own voice sounded. Still, tears began welling up in Y/N's eyes, which she tried to keep at bay, but a single drop escaped and she let it stream down her face as she spoke up.

"You're... everywhere, all the time, and I can't escape you from my imagination, sometimes even preferring to hallucinate because that's where I know I'll find you, where I'm brave enough to-to say 'I love you' to your face, without having to deal with your rejection, because I-" As she glanced away from him trying to blink away her tears, Kaz gently took the handkerchief away from his lips and instead held her hand which put the handkerchief on him.

Kaz finally realized how she looked at him. If their racing hearts, her shallow breath, the tremble of her voice wasn't enough clue, than her touch certainly was. Throughout her speech her hands were still on his face, unmoving, not daring to move, instead keeping them there in a tender touch. She was in-

"I'm irrevocably, unconditionally, and fatally in love with you Kaz Brekker."

Sharp breaths and worried looks.

Unnoticeable steps and reassuring nods.

A trembling exhale.

One quick step, and Kaz was kissing her.

Their lips colliding against one another like the sun sets on the dark sea, like the moon takes the sun's place, like fireworks lighting up the sky. Her lips a mix of cheap alcohol and something sweet, his the scent of coffee and something salty. Her shyness, afraid of hurting him, clashing with his yearning movements, all of a sudden forgetting everything that wasn't her. His hand found its way onto the back of her neck, while the other gently touched the side of her face, just as she did mere seconds ago.

Kaz couldn't begin to think about his aversion, nor his nausea, because he was surrounded by her. Her scent, her lips, her hands on his face, her gasp in the kiss. He kissed her as if she was the air he was breathing, and he had been drowning, therefore he took the breath that belonged to him. Kaz never kissed anyone before, nor did he imagine himself doing so, but he did it with a strange hunger, as if he was a starving animal in captivity.

In a way both of them were animals, walking the cruel roads of the city, taking down anyone that crossed their paths in the need of survival. In a way, Kaz was no better than a starving animal, looking for crumbs to feed his hunger, finding any way for revenge to ease his anger. And in a way, Y/N was the first healthy taste that could keep Kaz from starving again.

She was addicting. The kiss couldn't have lasted more than 5 seconds, but Kaz already felt himself in need of another. He only tasted her once but he wanted more. So much more.

His knees didn't stop weakening, and he still couldn't quite catch his breath, and maybe it was from the lack of air in his lungs, or his heart beating too loudly in his ears to hear anything, but despite his past with touch, despite his head trying to tell him to stop, almost as soon as they broke apart Kaz captivated her once again.

This kiss was more tender than the first. Kaz still kissed her with wild hunger, but now he took his time getting familiar with her lips. Although, Y/N didn't let herself fall under his spell this time, she daringly smoothed her fingers through his raven hair, stopping at the nape of his neck and gently caressing some strands. She stood still, letting Kaz do what he wanted with his hands on her.

It all felt like a dream, a dream that she was bound to keep like a memory, not just another one of her hallucinations. She knew this wasn't real, it couldn't have been, because she knew her Kaz could never touch her like this. Not in this lifetime. So she let herself get lost in this dream more than she should've let herself to, because she knew her drunkenness would be a reasonable excuse.

Therefore she couldn't bring herself to step away from him. She wanted to kiss him, needed to kiss him, desperately, and if this was the only way she would do so, in her drunk imagination, then she would have to settle for it. She had to accept that this lifetime wasn't meant for them.

Kaz knew his anger. It was hot and messy, uncalculated, selfish and greedy, which brought out the monster in him. It made him destroy everything in his path, without a single care about who's coming down with him. Kaz knew his anger.

Except this time. As he stepped inside Y/N's flat, looking at the broken chair in the corner, the different marks on the walls, and the small droplets of dried blood at the entrance, he felt a deep rage take over him, and out of instinct he tightened his arm around Y/N just a bit more.

He imagined every scenario as Y/N talked about the fights, from the bad to the worst, but seeing the remnaints of those fights in the organized and neat place felt almost ridiculous to him.

Y/N didn't bother with covering about the damage. She kept her place clean and comfortable as always, and now her place looked like as if the two sides of her life clashed against one another.

Kaz walked over to the bed with her and sat her down, before he grabbed a glass and poured her some water. He signaled for her to drink it and she agreed, probably unaware of what she was drinking. Meanwhile Kaz looked around and lit up a few candles around the room. Then Y/N moved to take off her boots, failing to do so. After multiple attempts and swearing under her breath, Kaz spoke up.

"Stop that and lie down. I'll help," he told her and set his cane down on the bed next to her. She began giggling as he knelt down on one knee to take her boots off. "If you wanted to get me into bed, you could've just asked," she chuckled and Kaz felt his face heat up. He was grateful that she couldn't see his face right now.

"And what would be the fun in that?" Kaz asked and Y/N could hear the cockyness in his voice. "The easiness. I would let you without thinking, you know." Kaz sat her boots next to her bedside table and looked up at her as she slowly sat up.

"You're not an easy woman Y/N, therefore I wouldn't want easy with you." Kaz told her and watched her smile faltered and her eyes got bigger, like when she was concentrating on something. He took it as a sign to continue.

But before he did, he took a moment to really look at her like this. Face red from drinking, eyes shining in the candelight, her gaze full of emotion, hair messy from touching it too much, a few strands sticking to the side of her face, probably from sweat. Kaz moved to tuck those strands of hair behind her ear, and Y/N watched his tender movements with a sleepy smile, but a smile nonetheless.

Kaz, still on his knees, told her to go to sleep and she happily obliged. She fell back on the bed, quickly moving around for a comfortable position then closed her eyes and fell asleep in just a few minutes.

"I'll be right here," Kaz whispered as he got up from his kneeling position, and got to work.

Y/N woke up to the sound of keys jingling. Against her tired muscles she quickly sat up and grabbed her knife from under her pillow. When her front door opened she threw the knife without hesitation.

Knowing that she probably didn't aim right she grabbed another knife from her bedside table and rushed to the intruder. She grabbed the back of their coat and held the knife to their throat, or she would've, if the person didn't block them with their cane. With the beak of the crow.

"This is how you greet your friends?" Kaz asked mockingly to which Y/N just rolled her eyes and took her knife away from Kaz's face. "Why are you here?" She asked back.

"Good morning, yes I'm quite fine, how are you?" He said and the small grin on his face made Y/N want to kick his cane from under him. "Been better. Could do without the slight headache though, but I'm sure it comes and goes with you," Y/N told him and turned her back to get the knife back in its place.

"You were much better company last night." She turned around abruptly. "What did I do?" Kaz didn't answer at first, which made her worried she did something stupid again. "Kaz, what the hell did I do last night?"

"For starters, you hit up probably half a dozen bars to drown yourself in whatever was cheapest. Then you poured your heart out, probably would've fallen into the canal if it wasn't for me," He said the last words with a mix of mocking and smugness. "Better question: what did you do?"

"A thank you would suffice for saving your ass," He told her and she just scoffed. "Thank you, for being a-" Y/N started but as she hopped down on her bed she felt her ribs ache and she had to breathe loudly to ease the pain. Kaz was in front of her in seconds and had an almost worried look on his face. "What is it?"

"Nothing, it's just-nothing. Probably slept in a bad position," she winced as she put a hand on her left side, but she didn't miss the fact that Kaz reached his hand out. It was only a second, or half a second before he took it back, but she saw it.

Imaged of him touching her flashes through her, his hands in her hair, on her face and neck. She could still feel the touch on her lips, and for a second she just stared back at him in surprise. Was it...was it real? Kaz looked at her questioningly, not knowing what just went through her mind.

Then Kaz sat his cane on her bedside table before he got rid of his coat and put it next to her on the bed. Another image came up: the same position, but he was kneeling in front of her. Y/N shook her head a little, trying to get rid of the images.

"Kaz, what are you do-AH," Y/N shouted as Kaz lifted up her shirt and put his hand on her ribs. He kept poking her left side all the while she was cursing him into oblivion. When Kaz finally stopped and reached for the hem of her shirt she grabbed her clothing and clutched it.

"Hey! No more of this! What do you think you're doing?"

"Measuring up your bruises. I need to know how many punches you took," Kaz told her as a matter-of-factly, and Y/N stared back in confusion. "From who?!"

"Your landlord. Mr. Kozar."

Silence fell over the room. Kaz could see the confusion turn into embarassment, then into fear. Y/N was still clutching her shirt, but this time with a tight grip to ground herself in reality.

"How do you-" She started, but then stopped as she looked up at him. "I told you last night, didn't I?"

"Yes, everything," Kaz had to slightly bite down on his lip, so as not to tell her what did he plan for her landlord tonight. The sight of her, slowly curling in on herself, looking as if she wanted to disappear, when Kaz knew better than anyone that she always made her presence known everywhere she went.

Kaz gently touched the hem of her shirt, next to the piece of fabric she was currently holding in an iron grip, when she looked at him again, this time with uncertainity. Kaz just waited.

"If you want to take off my clothes, at least ask my permission first. Be a gentleman," Y/N told him quietly and loosened her grip on her shirt. Kaz scoffed quietly as he kneeled down in front of her. "I'm anything but gentle," he said, his touch on her shirt never tightening.

"Can I?" Kaz asked on a voice so soft it could've melted gold. Y/N never heard him talk that way, therefore she had to take a moment to grasp her head around how sweet his voice sounded. "Can I take off your shirt?" Kaz asked her again, his soft, sweet voice not faltering. Y/N gently nodded. "Yes."

The minutes while Kaz looked at her bruises, sometimes poking them again, she felt like crying the entire time. Not from the pain, that she was used to living in the Barrel for this long, but from how tender his touches were. He may believe he's not a gentleman, but Y/N knew the truth. She knew the heart behind the iron bars.

After Kaz finished, he handed her shirt back and even helped when she had to stretch out her side. He told her one of her ribs might be fractured, but it shouldn't cause her any trouble tonight.

"Is there a job tonight? Wait, was the meeting I missed last night about this?" Y/N asked Kaz quickly after she reached for her boots to put them on. She was stopped by Kaz's cane snatching them away. "This isn't a job, only if you want to look at it that way," he said carefully and it made Y/N suspicious.

"What did you do?"

"I? I did nothing. Your landlord, on the other hand, did more than what's understandable, even more so, hurting someone close to me, which I believe you don't tolerate either, therefore I set up a meeting with him," Kaz said and rested his hands on the top of his cane, looking at everywhere except her eyes. Y/N didn't miss the way he described their relationship. Someone close to me. Was she still dreaming? Or was this real life? Before she could ask him about that little detail, another thought formed in her mind.

"What meeting?" She asked but the way Kaz glanced at her for just a few seconds before putting his coat on to go on his way, told her more than his words could've. "Oh, a meeting, as in, torture,"

"Only if you want it to get to that point," Kaz said and Y/N was up on her feet right in front of him, and her subconscious got giddy at the fact that he didn't move away from her. "Why Kaz? You didn't have to bother with any of-"

"I did." He said suddenly, and his tone made Y/N go silent. "I do, because I wasn't careful enough to investigate this place like I did with the one before, because I trusted you enough to handle things, because I knew ypu would fight your way out of it. Then you told me you were assaulted, multiple times, multiple fucking times Y/N andyou never once told any of us. You never onced mentioned it, not to anyone, not to me." Kaz told her getting angry at himself for not making sure you were alright, because he was too absorved in his own thoughts, in his feelings for you, trying to punish himself for feeling the way he did. Meanwhile it got to a point where he forgot to protect you. He forgot. He never forgot to look after you. "You didn't ask my help."

"You had enough on your plate now that Pekka's out of the picture. You had business to run, I couldn't have just walk through your door saying my landlord is a greedy asshole who's attacking me at any inconvenience. You wouldn't have cared."

"I would!" Kaz said louder and Y/N looked at him in shock. She was about to speak when Kaz interrupted her. "I do. I do care. I care about your well-being enough, that I wouldn't care at which time of day or night you came for my help." He practically whispered the last few words and he could almost feel her lips against his, the memory suddenly blinding him. "Never be too stubborn to ask for my help. Just come to me."

Y/N could hardly breathe in that moment. All of the flashes from her dream, they weren't dreams at all. She really touched his face, and Kaz really kissed her. Now she remembered how his lips moved against hers as if he had been hungry all his life. And as Kaz looked at her with his pale blue eyes, she was reminded of the fact that he initiated the second kiss. Y/N wanted to know how he kissed, now that she was sober. If it felt addicting while she was drunk, she couldn't begin to imagine what it would feel like now that she's sober.

"I need your help Kaz," she whispered and Kaz's face turned serious at the mention of his name. "I'm afraid I don't remember much from last night." Y/N whispered as she slowly held her hand up next to his face, not wanting to be too quich with her movements, but Kaz gently grabbed her hand and put on the side of his face.

"And now?" Kaz asked raspily. Y/N felt like fainting, as she took a quick inhale. "Not familiar," she said and Kaz moved her other hand to the nape of his neck while he put a hand under her jaw, on her neck. "How about this?" He asked, the words a whisper against her lips. "Still not remembering," she moved her head just a little closer to him and heard Kaz quietly gasp for air, to which she let out a small smile.

"This, you remember," Kaz didn't waste time hugging her even closer to him, so he could finally kiss her again. Saints know he's been itching to do so.

Y/N let out a small gasp in the kiss and Kaz poured all of his years of yearning into their kiss.

Since that night the Barrel had something worse to fear from Dirtyhands: his love and devotion.

[criesinliess]

━FEBRUARY 2024; susan's recs

PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS

━━LUKE CASTELLAN

look at me @indecisivemuch

apples @↑

love me anyway @okaytapes

a rose and her thorns @atlabeth

always an angel, never a god @cobrakaisb

when you get me alone, it’s so simple @emiliehornby

what’s a girl gonna do when she’s in love with you? @↑

kiss of life; part2 @sunsburns

you free 2night? @ilycosy

the killerverse @tangledinlove — still ongoing but one of my favorite things rn, luke and killer my beloved

STRANGER THINGS

━━STEVE HARRINGTON

dark honey; part2 @caxde

closeness @↑

picking drunk reader up @weird-is-life

go for it @nervoushottee 

pretty girl @stevie-petey

oh, you didn’t know? @↑

(it’s not like) he’s my boyfriend @luveline

small hands, big heart @sexybabystevie

adventures in babysitting @worth-the-chaos — also still ongoing but you absolutely have to read it!! masterpiece

season two of „come home” @stevie-petey — i recommend season one last month and if u didn’t read it yet you should go and change that! i am living just so i can read new chapters

you and i (back at it again) @lighteyed

━━EDDIE MUNSON

candygram @hellfirenacht

ONE PIECE

━━ZORO

lips on every cross @revasserium

LOCKWOOD & CO

━━ANTHONY LOCKWOOD

buy me presents! @lewkwoodnco

i got options, babe @↑

unacceptable @atlabeth

far too young to die @↑

happiness @tangledinlove

OUTER BANKS

━━JJ MAYBANK

opposites attract @maybankswhore

━━RAFE CAMERON

be my once in a lifetime @erwinsvow

DIVERGENT

━━PETER HAYES

bad liars @heliads

THE BEAR

━━CARMY BERZATTO

february fluff @cloveroctobers

confectionary clash @newtkive

practice @↑

GRISHAVERSE

━━KAZ BREKKER

cause it’s you @bubbles-for-all-of-us

MARVEL

━━MIGUEL O’HARA

the grump & the drunk @t-lostinworlds

━━BUCKY BARNES

5 times there was only one bed (and the one time there were two beds) @mrs-illyrian-baby

CHRONICLES OF NARNIA

━━EDMUND PEVENSIE

ye of little faith @pariahsparadise

PROM PACT

━━BEN PLUNKETT

third times a charm @manheimsmuse

[futurecorps3]

Hiii, could you write a nikokai fic where reader is like in love with kaz but he doesn't really pay attention to her. And then the crows meet sturmhond because of a heist and he takes interest in the reader form the first moment he sae her and makes her fall in love with him. And then whatever you want lol. Maybe kaz being jealous idk.

Sorry for any grammatical mistake, english it's not my first language.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞

Masterlist<3

Summary: After years of being in love with the one and only Kaz Brekker, breaking her own heart, Y/N meets someone else... Pairing: Sturmhond x fem!inferni!reader, Kaz Brekker x fem!reader

Warnings: The usual crow violence, DRINKING, jealous Kaz, mean Kaz, "unrequited" love for a little while, Matthias is alive and well like in the books duh but this is ofc before Nikolai becomes king, idc I just want my Fjerdan hunk happy in Ketterdam, curse words, kind of a messy timeline. HURT AND NO COMFORT. Lmk if I missed any.

Word Count: 2.9K!! Requested: Yes

A/N: IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG! :( I've been looking forward to getting to this specific request because oh my god, also, I changed it up a little; making Kaz actually be in love with reader but never really trying anything. Tysm for requesting love! Hope you enjoy :)

˚ · • . °

Exhaustion. That's what she felt, and to be honest, it was even more frustrating when Y/N knew she was doing it to herself. Those persistent yet futile attempts at reading Kaz's silence or gaze as something else; a love message, a confession of his sins, any sign of vulnerability reserved for her. However, these attempts, though fervent, ultimately proved fruitless.

How could she confirm what she thought she saw if, after, say, he appeared distressed at her being in danger or fumed when some dick was being extra disgusting at the bar that night; he went back to being his usual cold self?

When she finally obtained concrete evidence that disproved her misconceptions ("Jesper, she prefers black coffee" or "Y/N, could you join me in my office for a moment?" simply to spend time together in quietude), he strategically distanced himself throughout the week, transforming those precious moments of tranquility and companionship into ordinary occurrences, leading her to, somehow, misunderstand them.

Another shot of vodka and the pain her thoughts evoked was replaced by the burning, bitter sensation in her tongue and throat. "A hangover won't make Kaz let you stay behind tomorrow, you know that?" Matthias smiled next to her.

Since he joined the crows, the Fjerdan had taken a special liking to his girlfriend's best friend; she was funny, kind hearted and could keep up his pace in drinking games. Nina couldn't be happier to see her loves get along so well, saying it's her dream come true. "Oh don't even start, Matthias" Y/N answered, feigning annoyance as she poured more of the burning liquid into her glass and pulled out another for her friend.

They silently toasted to nothing in particular and chatted about their books as they usually did. Matthias' romance novel had an interesting love triangle Y/N was eager to read when he was finished. From how he talked about it, the girl knew it was just her type of story. They were in the middle of a playful argument about a plot-hole Y/N thought she found when Kaz approached them.

His usual demeanor seemed a bit... shaken. If you asked the blonde, he'd say he only looked more agitated, but Y/N/N knew better; his hair was covering his forehead slightly, but he wasn't brushing it back. The limp was prominent still, yet he wasn't using his cane. Kaz was in a rush to get to her, maybe?.

"One of your fellow countrymen is starting a turmoil outside, doesn't speak Kerch. Will you please, for the tree's sake, go and talk some sense into his thick blonde skull?" Saints, why did she like him so much? Even like that, Y/N thought he looked rather divine. Matthias stood up from his seat and directed himself to the entrance.

"Since when do you care for what happens outside that door?" She asked with a grin, genuinely curious. "I wouldn't if he wasn't scaring off the pigeons. No wealthy tourist will endure the trouble that some drunk Fjerdan means just to get inside a place full of people that'll take his money" the boy explained, looking down at her.

Kaz's complexion, kissed by the soft glow of the candles, is pale yet flawless, as if untouched by the harshness of the world he inhabits. His sharp, well-defined features give him an air of enigmatic sophistication, further heightened by the way the light dances upon his cheekbones, emphasizing their elegant structure.

Y/N realizes she's staring. She looks away.

The bastard smirks. "Finding something intriguing, are we?" And oh, she wanted to stab him to see if that would wipe the stupid grin he carried. "Oh, please, Kaz. You give yourself too much credit. I was merely lost in thought, contemplating the mysteries of the world. Your face happened to be in the line of sight, that's all."

Quick, sarcastic answer, as if the seconds between her silence confirmed even further what he was saying. He scoffed, drinking the remains of alcohol on Matthias' glass and fixed his hair in the process. "Stop drinking, a hangover won't spare you from our meeting tomorrow".

˚ · • . °

She should've listened. The crashing waves outside only intensified the discomfort, while the salty breeze seemed to carry a tinge of regret. Even the beauty of the sea she was now too used to felt distant and inaccessible, overshadowed by the haze of her post-indulgence remorse.

Nina, taunting Matthias with a mature Ravkan song and Jesper shooting bottles in the warehouse, created an uneasy atmosphere for hungover Y/N. This unsettling environment made it difficult for her to focus on evaluating any potential deals they were to discuss with the privateer Kaz said they were meeting that day. Also, they had been waiting for over an fifteen minutes now! She was surprised Kaz was waiting still.

He checked his pocket watch subtly, sighing at the tardiness of their Ravkan guests. Then, he looked over at Y/N. Even with those deep baggy eyes and with her head on her hands in exasperation, she managed to awaken that odd feeling in his chest. He hated it. No, he despised it.

If he ever accepted that he was down hard for the girl, he could also get over the fact that she, too, liked him. Well, he wasn't dumb! There was no denying that Y/N's actions warmed his heart. He just knew loving was a dangerous thing to do, a weakness he couldn't afford after spending years building a reputation in Ketterdam.

Then came a loud bang on the heave wooden doors of the warehouse. "Fucking finally" Y/N sighed, going to open the door herself before anyone would, wanting nothing but to end this as soon as possible so she could go back home to sleep. She grabbed the handle and pulled, the bright light outside blinding her momentarily before seeing the privateer and his crew.

"Hello gorgeous! Here to see Mr. Brekker. I'm guessing you're one of his associates?" A sharp, slightly deep voice greeted. The girl shielded her eyes from the light and found captain smily offering his hand out. In Ketterdam, rumours ran as quick as blood on pavement; Sturmhond knew that. He needed no introduction. Every person involved in not so legal activities who didn't live under a rock had heard at least once about the dog of the sea.

She took it, shaking gently. "Y/N Y/L/N, but if you prefer nicknames, call me Haepha". Then she stepped aside, pretending not to notice the smirk on Sturmhond's face so his partners could come in. The rumors hadn't done justice to his captivating presence.

The charismatic privateer stood tall, his dark hair falling in unruly waves that added to his allure. His piercing blue eyes seemed to hold a world of secrets, and a mischievous smile played across his lips. Dressed in opulent garments that exuded confidence and flair, Sturmhond commanded attention with every step as his crew and he approached the rest of the crows.

"I'll stick to your name for now doll, too pretty not to use," And the bastard winked at Y/N, making a Shu girl who was walking behind him with the same confidence giggle. The worst thing about pretty men is they know they're pretty, and knew damn well how to get away with being cocky. She knew his type, so she brushed the wink off and walked towards her friends.

Kaz and Sturmhond shook hands. Everyone who was fast enough grabbed a seat in old boxes or even on the floor. Jesper offered Y/N his seat, knowing that the vodka she drank last night was no merciful rival, and stood behind her alongside his boyfriend. Inej lingered sitting in a window near them as Matthias and Nina remained standing, contrary to all the privateers' team.

Kaz started making introductions, all a mere formality, Y/N knew. "You've met Y/N, our inferni. Behind him are Jesper, sharp-shooter, and Wylan, our demo-man. The blonde wall-resembling man over there is Matthias, and Nina is a heartrender. Inej in the window, our Wraith" he pointed, everyone nodding or waving at the dark-haired man.

"A Wraith alright, didn't notice you were there sweetheart!" He pointed out and then introduced the twins; Tolya and Tamar. As well as Anya and Andrei, who were two members of his ship's company who wanted to come by and see who they were working with. When that was taken care of, plans were strategized by both leaders and positions were given to each member.

Y/N knew Kaz was characterized by having plans from A to Z for very elaborate heists, but even this one seemed out of his reach, almost too ambitious. But if Sturmhond's name lived up to the myth, nothing was quite impossible for him and Kaz's love for money could get him to plot even the tiniest detail.

Their objective this time was to steal some kind of jewel called "the moon's tears". It was a gem said to be worth four million kruge, to be bargained for even more; the crows' biggest heist yet. The vault it was in was widely known for its impenetrable security measures, including seemingly impenetrable barriers, intricate lock mechanisms, and a team of highly skilled guards.

Those two were absolutely insane! Even before one considered the noble who owned the vault and therefore the gem they were trying to steal, knew Kaz from the past. It was an extremely peculiar coincidence that a masquerade ball was taking place some distance away from the location of the vault, which represented the perfect opportunity for the work.

This would allow them to exploit the lack of security and sweep the gem away. Nina would ideally take care of the distraction, to keep the nobleman from returning home too quick, but her heartrending abilities would be helpful to make a quick work to make the few officers guarding the vault doze off.

So it became Y/N's job. A job she was to complete with Sturmhond.

After the meeting ended and Y/N's headache had worsened, a deep voice was heard from behind her. She turned to find the charming privateer flashing a smile at her. "Looking forward to working with you, darling" He commented, offering his hand out and all. She took it and shook half-heartedly, eager to just go home and sleep for the rest of the evening.

"Me too, handsome" Irony laced in her tone. "Doesn't seem like it, you alright? You look like a ghost. Lovely, yes, but still ghostly" The comment made her smile, tightening the grasp on his hand but not shaking anymore "Just hungover s'all" "Told you so!" Jesper proclaimed from their side as everyone directed themselves to the door.

The privateer smiled sweetly. "Got any plans this evening?" "Other than rotting in my room until my body stops hurting? Not really. Why?" Y/N looked down briefly, realizing she still hadn't let go of his hand and then released her grasp "Well, if my days at sea have thought me anything other than how to read the stars..." he started, tapping the necklace with a star charm the girl sported.

A "gift" from Kaz (some jewelry that wasn't redeemed from a heist he let her keep). "...is how to cure a hangover. Mind coming with me to a bar? You can decide which". Going to a bar with a complete stranger who had a reputation of being in trouble most of the time and who she were to work with? Sure thing.

"Promise youll make it go away?" "Promise".

˚ · • . °

And what a plot twist he was. Jesper had jokingly said to the girl that she shouldn't take a privateer's word but he did termiante her hangover with some strange, black-ish liquid she didn't dare to ask the composition of. Then they drank more.

As the drinks arrived, they raised their glasses, the clink of crystal breaking the spell of their silent connection. Sturmhond smiled, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "To new adventures and unexpected encounters," he proposed, his voice smooth and velvety.

Y/N couldn't help but return the smile, feeling the warmth of excitement spread through her veins. "To embracing the unknown," she replied, raising her glass in agreement. They took a sip, the flavors dancing on their tongues. A comfortable silence settled between them, allowing the sounds of the bar to envelop them. After a moment, Sturmhond leaned in, his voice low and captivating.

"So, Y/N, what brings you to this lawless corner of the world?". He asked, genuine curiosity lacing his words. Y/N's eyes sparkled as she recounted her journey, the challenges she faced, and the dreams that fueled her determination. Sturmhond listened intently, his attention unwavering, as if she held the secrets of a hidden treasure.

As she spoke, Y/N couldn't help but notice the genuine interest in Sturmhond's eyes. He asked thoughtful questions and shared stories of his own adventures, effortlessly weaving tales of daring escapades that left Y/N hanging on his every word.

The conversation flowed effortlessly, a seamless exchange of ideas, dreams, and aspirations. Time seemed to melt away as they delved into deeper discussions, finding solace in the connection they were building. Laughter intertwined with their words, a symphony of shared amusement and understanding.

They became lost in each other's company, entranced by the way their thoughts aligned and their hearts danced to the same rhythm. And as the night wore on, their conversation continued, their new found connection growing stronger with every passing moment.

She couldn't help but think of Kaz, when exiting the bar, and on the way back to The Slat. When would he ever, in a million years, make her feel so seen? How could he? He seemed to be nothing but cold and a bad type of confusing to the girl.

Y/N was not blind, either. Sturmhond was known for his endless romantic encounters with women across the sea, and he was interested in her. Now, she could not deny the guy was a charming boy too pretty for this Earth, sharp as a knife and, as she found out that evening, shared a lot of ideals and interests with her.

Could he maybe work as a rebound? Maybe. Would she shamelessly use him as that? Could be. Having his eyes on her that whole meeting was no coincidence, and she liked his attention. Maybe what mends a broken heart was a handsome privateer.

They agreed to meet up the next day, his treat.

˚ · • . °

Back at the Slat, Kaz was fuming. No, not fuming; seething. A bar outing? She just met him! He could not believe his eyes when they were talking hand in hand like they had known each other from a previous lifetime.

In the little time that had passed since (most of) the crows had returned from the meeting, Kaz had already gotten four drunks kicked out, death-stared a group of dregs twice so they'd shorten their break time to get them to work and downed four vodka shots.

Why was he this mad? She wasn't even his and as far as she knew; he had no intentions of being hers either. The boy couldn't be mad at her, but he was, and Kaz knew very well he was being a big selfish shit. He could not blame Y/N either; the bastard she had been crushing on gives no signs of interest but a privateer handsome as the devil shows up with his attention completely focused on her? Of course she'd fall.

He just hated that feeling.

It's presence looms, heavy and suffocating, wrapping its tendrils around the heart, constricting with an iron grip. It whispers sweet poison into the mind, distorting reality and fueling irrational fears. Like a tempestuous storm, it rages within, lightning crackling with envy, thunder rumbling with resentment. It paints the world in hues of green, tarnishing every joyous moment with a bitter aftertaste.

And then his heart sunk into the depths of his dark soul when he saw them walk in hand in hand. That was the first time Y/N had walked into a room and not looked for him, he noticed. She was laughing at something Sturmhond had said as they walked up the stairs until they reached the door of Y/N's room. He kissed her hand and she kissed his cheek.

The privateer then walked down the stairs, noticing Kaz staring.

"She's one of a kind, that one... Might stay a bit more after the job's done. See you tomorrow, Brekker"

The feeling was now leaving an empty, bottomless void in his soul. He bottomed his shot glass then poured another one.

˚ · • . °

Time kept ticking and the void intensified, but Kaz learnt how to deal with it.

He learnt how to deal with it when he kissed her after the job was done.

He learnt how to deal with it when Y/N took a break from the crows to leave with him for six months.

He learnt how to deal with it when she returned from her trip, beautiful tan skin and a diamond on her finger.

He learnt how to deal with it when he saw her crying herself to sleep because she missed him.

He learnt how to deal with it when she left for good.

He learnt how to deal with it when she was named queen of Ravka.

Kaz just learnt how to live with the shame and regret of not recognizing that the one thing he needed was right in front of him, hoping she'd have a place next to him.

˚ · • . ° .

Hi! Thank you so much for reading, hope you enjoyed:) I'm actually sorry for this one...

Remember, the best way to support writer’s works on here is by REBLOGGING WITH TAGS. I’d very much appreciate it if you did!

Thanks again, stranger. Hope you have a nice day<3

NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO REPOST AS THEIR OWN/TRANSLATE/OR COPY MY WORK IN ANY PLATFORM OR SPACE WITHOUT MY EXPLICIT CONSENT.

[eatingyourmotherslaundry]

The absolute joy I get from this is illegal.

Kaz: its time...for the biggest bet of the year

Inej: first one to say an innuendo, dirty joke or comment, loses, even a subtle one

Nina: loser will face a terrible punishment

Wylan : attend to Alys´s piano recital

Jesper: anyone can lose...

(pause)

Jesper: okay, its not going to be Matthias

Matthias: coming from you, i don't know if its an insult or a compliment. But you are right, you in exchange won't last even three minutes

Inej: story of your life...

"everyone gasps"

Inej:...we are not in the game yet,right? I am not the first one to lose on the same game Nina and Jesper are competing, right?

Kaz: no no, we hadn't finished the countdown

"everyone nods"

Kaz: alright, three...two...one...now it begins!

----

Matthias: don't worry Nina, i won't want you to lose. So i won't give you a hard time

"Nina covers her mouth"

Matthias: sorry, i didn't mean to do that

Nina: Don't say "do that!"

Matthias: oh for Djel,Nina! I am trying to help you but its pretty hard when your mind its so deep in the gutter....

Matthias: okay, i hard myself , you have a point

Nina: thats it, i am moving out. I love you but i can't go to Aly´s recital and come back alive, you are too much of an easy prey. Please let me know as soon as someone loses.

---

Wylan: you want me to do what?

Matthias: please,Jesper will probably lose first anyway. So the sooner it happens the sooner she´ll come back so we may as well make him lose. Come on, Jesper annoys and pushes your buttons all the time, this is the perfect time to get back at him.

Wylan: But i am not so vindictive that i would make my own beloved boyfriend lose.

Matthias:

Wylan:

"both burst into laughter"

Wylan: yeah, that was the worst lie i´ve ever said

Click to see the loser (meaning the loser of the game, not meaning Kaz the permanent loser)

Matthias: come on Jesper, you know you are going to lose anyway , i want Nina to come soon

Jesper getting a nervous tick : you are not going to break me... no matter how ha...dificult it is to not make fun of you

Wylan: oh poor baby, you look stressed. Do you want to do something fun? Do you want to go and blow up some stuff? you know you like blowing up things with me, lets blow things together!

Jesper starts sweating

Wylan: aww you are sweating? but its not that hot...is it really that hot here?

Jesper: fuck you

Wylan: thats your job

"everyone gasps"

Wylan: no...no...NOOOOOOOOOO!

[that-one-ostrich-friend]

Young Love & Old Money

kaz brekker x reader - young love & old money

word count: 3k

summary: this is a kaz x fem!reader fic inspired by elizabeth gerardi’s song “young love & old money”

warnings: maybe angst? other than that none :)

a/n: this is my first fic to be published here so I hope you enjoy! my requests are open if you like my writing and have any fic suggestions <3

     It was an unnaturally sunny day in Ketterdam when Kaz saw her. She was sitting in a corner booth at one of Nina’s waffle places with Jesper at her side. He knew instantly who she was, y/n l/n, heir to the l/n fortune and daughter of y/f/n l/n. One could only wonder, what the hell was she doing with Jesper?

     “Kaz!” Jesper called him over and patted the area next to him. 

     Kaz found himself hesitating, eyes still on y/n. She had an air of elegance and vulnerability that captured him, but she lived in a gilded cage— one that even he could not break into.

     A wave from Jesper broke his trance. Y/n’s eyes met his, and he looked down as he took his place beside Jesper.

     “This,” Jesper began while motioning towards her, “is y/n. She’s a friend I met in my… uh… brief time at university.”

     Kaz nodded slightly in her direction. He didn’t want her attention. She came from a life he despised— people who were so rich they never felt pain and who had their tapestries of life woven from silk and gold. Compared to her, he was nothing but the scum that desperately tried to cling to the shoes of those walking on the streets.

     He looked up God, why did he look up? 

     Her face was turned towards him with nothing but warmth radiating from it. Her smile could rival the diamonds that surely covered her mother’s neck. 

     “It’s nice to meet you, Kaz,” her voice was soft, making his pulse quicken. “I would love to talk, but I have to return home.”

     Home. It was a word heavy with meaning. He could only imagine the luxurious estate she was bound to.

     “Oh, c’mon, just stay a little longer,” Jesper urged, leaning back into the cushioned booth.

     Her eyes met Kaz’s again, this time prompting Jesper to look between them. 

     “You should at least keep Kaz company while I order.”

     She looked down with a small smile that hid something else, mischief perhaps, “Only if he’ll have my company.”

     “I wouldn’t mind,” the words didn’t feel as though they came from him. His gaze was still fixed on her. 

     Jesper whistled as he stood, “I’ll be back.”

     They were left alone.

     Conversation flowed easily between them. The mood was light as she talked about Jesper and his escapades at university. He had lost track of how long ago Jesper had gone off to “order”. Kaz couldn’t complain; however, he felt a warmth spreading within him that he hadn’t felt in a long time.

     As the conversation died down and her voice melted away softly, he had a question begging to be answered. “Y/n?”

     Her eyes found his again, “Yes?”

     “Do you ever get tired of it?”

     Her smile faltered, “Tired of what?”

     He cleared his throat, carefully choosing his words, “The wealth, the expectations?”

     She sighed; it was a very slight sigh, almost unnoticeable, “It can be… tiring, having your whole life mapped out for you.”

     There it was. The cracks in her porcelain facade. She was trapped, consumed by a life of luxury, condemned. 

     Her eyes flicked to the window. The once bright sun was now setting over the dirty city. Jesper wasn’t coming back anytime soon.

     She stood up abruptly, “I really need to be getting home.” Her voice trailed off as they made eye contact once more. “I,” she hesitated as if asking permission to say what she was about to say, “I hope to see you soon, Kaz.” She offered him a genuine smile before walking out of the cafe.

     Kaz watched her leave, the door chiming softly behind her, and he felt an unexpected ache in his chest. Jesper returned later, laden with waffles and toppings, oblivious to the moment that had just passed.

     “Did you two hit it off?” Jesper grinned, sliding into the booth. “She’s a gem isn’t she?”

     Gem. She was a gem wasn’t she? A diamond in the rough of Ketterdam.

     Kaz composed himself to mask his deeper thoughts, “She’s… interesting.”

     “Interesting? More like enchanting! You should ask her out,” Jesper said, his mouth full of waffle “I mean, c’mon. Look at her. You’d be a fool not to.”

     Kaz shot him a look. There was too much risk getting involved with her. They were from completely different worlds, and she did not deserve to be dragged down to his.

     “Not a chance,” he said flatly. 

     Jesper rolled his eyes, “Your call, I guess. Just don’t let good things pass you by because you think you’re not good enough.”

     The thought lingered in Kaz’s mind, but he quickly brushed it aside. He had no business entertaining such fantasies. Yet, he couldn’t shake the image of her smile, the way her eyes sparkled with mischief.

     Days passed, each one heavy with the echo of their conversation. Kaz found himself wandering the streets of Ketterdam, searching for a glimpse of her. He could rationalize it all he wanted—curiosity, boredom—but deep down, he knew it was something more.

     One evening, as twilight cast a purple haze over the city, Kaz found himself at one of the docks, waiting to monitor a shipment. He leaned against a wooden post, watching the water ripple under the dim glow of lanterns when he heard a familiar voice behind him.

     “Fancy meeting you here.”

      He turned to see y/n, her silhouette framed by the fading light. The sight of her made his heart race. “What are you doing here?” he asked, feigning indifference.

      “Just out for a walk,” she replied, stepping closer.

     “Isn’t that what your estate’s garden is for?” he realized his tone was too harsh when she quickly looked away and shifted her feet. “I’m, uh, actually… it’s good to see you,” he tried to mend the situation and was met with her smile.

        They stood in comfortable silence, the distant sounds of Ketterdam buzzing around them. The world felt smaller in that moment, just the two of them sharing an unspoken understanding.

     She broke the silence, “Y’know, sometimes I wish I were you, Kaz.”

     “No you don’t,” his response was quick, without thought.

     She chuckled lightly, “Perhaps I phrased that wrong. I wish I were the idea of you. Someone with freedom.”

     Kaz looked at her sideways, “You don’t have freedom now?”

     “My parents run my life until I find a husband with deep pockets and strong connections to support me. A rich man’s jokes are always funny, right?” A hint of bitterness laced the honey that formed her smile. 

     He wanted to offer her something, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t get involved. 

     He cleared his throat gruffly, “I need to document this delivery.”

     Her posture straightened out and she stepped back from him, “Right, I won’t keep you any longer.”

     Before she could walk away he called to her, “Y/n!”

     “Yes?”

     “I hope to see you again?”

     The only response he got was a small smile before she turned her back to him. Kaz watched her walk away, the distant sound of her footsteps fading into the hum of the docks. His heart raced, a mix of frustration and longing coiling within him. He could feel the weight of her unspoken words, the desire for freedom that echoed in her every glance.

     Days passed and he found himself haunted by thoughts of y/n. He had to maintain the walls that he had built around himself, but the more he saw her absence, the more it felt like an ache in his chest.

     One afternoon, as he sat at the bar, Jesper plopped down next to him. “You’re still brooding over her, aren’t you?” he said, smirking knowingly.

     Kaz glared at him, “I’m not brooding.”

     “Sure, keep telling yourself that. You’ve got it bad, my friend. Just ask her out already.”

     “I can’t,” Kaz replied, frustration bubbling over. It wasn’t that simple.

     “Maybe you’re exactly what she needs,” Jesper said, his tone serious for once. “You might just be the escape she’s looking for.”

     That night, Kaz lay awake, staring at the ceiling of his cramped room, Jesper's words replaying in his mind. He couldn’t shake the idea that y/n might be different, that perhaps she could understand the darkness he carried. And yet, the thought of pulling her into his world felt selfish.

     A few nights later, unable to resist any longer, Kaz found himself at a lavish charity gala hosted by y/n’s family. He had disguised himself well, opting for a simple dark suit that blended in with the shadows of the grand ballroom. The rich and influential were gathered, their laughter and chatter filling the air, but all Kaz could focus on was y/n.

     She looked stunning in a sapphire gown that shimmered in the candlelight, her laughter ringing like music amidst the crowd. For a moment, he simply watched her, captivated by the way she navigated her world with grace.

     As the night wore on, Kaz gathered the courage to approach her. She stood by a large window, gazing out at the city, her expression contemplative. He could feel the tension in the air as he stepped closer.

     “Y/n,” he said softly, and she turned, surprise lighting up her features.

     “Kaz! What are you doing here?” Her smile was radiant, yet her eyes betrayed a flicker of uncertainty as they looked around.

     He pulled back the cuff of his sleeve just enough to expose a few gold watches. 

     She gasped dramatically, “This is a charity gala! You dare steal?”

     He rolled his eyes and gestured around, “As if half of this would go to the poor anyways.”

     She opened her mouth to respond but was cut off as a woman’s voice called her name. 

     “Y/n!” A gloved hand grabbed her arm and pulled her away from him, “I have someone you need to meet.” 

     Kaz stood there, watching helplessly as y/n was swept into the throng of guests, her laughter fading into the background noise of the gala. He clenched his fists, frustration bubbling within him. He had finally worked up the courage to approach her, only to have their moment stolen away by the very life she was bound to.

     He turned his back on the ballroom, feeling the weight of the opulence around him—gold-plated chandeliers, laughter laced with insincerity, and the masked faces of the elite. He needed air. The exit beckoned, and he slipped outside, the cool night air hitting him like a balm.

     Leaning against a marble column, he forced himself to breathe, reminding himself why he had come to the gala in the first place. This world was not his. Y/n was not his. And yet, every time he tried to push her from his mind, she returned—her smile, her spark, the hint of rebellion in her eyes.

     Kaz decided to cut his losses here and return to the Crow Club for the night. As her name lingered in his mind, he found himself picking up a pen and writing a letter addressed to her.

     To his surprise, Kaz found a letter on his desk days later. The address was written in thin, elegant ink. 

     That’s how it happened. 

     Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months.

      Kaz walked the familiar streets of Ketterdam, the letter from y/n clutched tightly in his hand. It had been months since they started corresponding, and each exchange deepened the bond between them. She wrote about her world—the endless soirées, the suffocating expectations, the empty laughter that filled grand halls. In turn, he shared snippets of his life, the thrill of a successful job, the camaraderie of his crew, the shadows he navigated daily.

     Yet despite the distance, their connection felt tangible, like a thin thread woven between two worlds. He often found himself wondering what it would be like if he could just step into her life for a moment, to experience the beauty of her laughter without the weight of her reality bearing down on them both.

     Today she had invited him to her estate for a walk in the garden. As he stood before the imposing doors, heart racing in anticipation, he couldn’t help but hesitate. What if she saw him as nothing more than a distraction? A fleeting moment of entertainment. He swallowed hard and knocked, the sound echoing in the silence.

     After what felt like an eternity, the door opened to reveal y/n, her face sparkling with joy. “Kaz!” her voice was a melody that wrapped around him. She softly stepped aside to let him in. 

     Kaz stepped inside, closing the door behind him. “We’ve spent months writing to each other. I was looking forward to seeing you in person.”

     As they walked through the lush gardens, the scent of blooming flowers mingled with the tension in the air. They talked about trivial things—flowers, the weather—but underneath it all, Kaz felt the weight of unspoken words pressing down.

     After a while, they found a secluded bench beneath a willow tree, its branches swaying gently. Kaz took a deep breath, his heart pounding. “Y/n, I need to tell you something.”

     Her eyes widened, and he could see the flicker of hope there, “What is it?”

      He leaned forward, searching for the right words, “These past months… I’ve come to care about you. More than I thought I could. You make me feel alive, like there’s more to life than just surviving. I wanted to ask you if you would—”

     But she interrupted him, her expression shifting to something more serious. “Kaz, wait. I—”

     “No, please,” he pressed, desperation creeping into his voice.

     But she looked away, her gaze fixed on the flowers blooming around them, and Kaz's heart sank. She didn’t need to explain the cause of her hesitation. 

     Silence enveloped them, heavy and suffocating. Kaz’s heart raced as he tried to find words, but nothing came. The moment stretched on, the weight of unfulfilled dreams and unspoken desires pressing down.

     Finally, he stood, the ache of rejection settling deep within him. “I’m sorry for putting you in this position,” he said quietly, his voice barely above a whisper.

      “No!” She stood as well, “I just need some time, I promise. It’ll work out.”

     Everything in him urged him to turn away now, get out while he still could, but as he searched her face there was nothing but sincerity. Kaz's heart waged war with his mind. He couldn’t leave her.

     They continued to write letters until her’s gradually started to trickle away. He was left to relive their moments through her past writings.

     One day as he was doing his rounds in the club he spotted Jesper with a copy of the paper. The cover had a familiar face on the front, y/n. Kaz approached him and took the paper. Flipping through the pages.

     “Hey, I’m sorry it didn’t work out,” Jesper tentatively tried to approach a conversation.

     Kaz didn’t look up. His heart felt heavy, the words from Jesper’s mouth barely registering. He’d been expecting this moment for weeks—no, months—but that didn’t mean it hurt any less.

     “I’m going for a walk,” he stated simply.

     Kaz walked down the chilly roads of Ketterdam, the newspaper still clutched tightly in his hand. His cane hit the ground harder than it usually did, whether it was due to his anger or the cold, he did not know. Suddenly a very familiar voice called out of the blurry pedestrians.

     “Kaz?” He didn’t turn around, he couldn’t. “Kaz Brekker?” Ever so lightly a hand tapped his coat covered shoulder.

     He clenched his jaw but as her face came into view he could only whisper her name, “y/n.’’

     She smelled like wild flowers and smiled like she had stolen the sun, so beautiful, so out of place in this godforsaken city. However, clouds covered her smile when she saw the paper in his hand and for a very small moment she looked as though she belonged here. “You’ve heard the news I see.”

     “Congratulations,” something awful was in the back of his throat, he couldn’t look at her.

     “You know, Kaz, I almost called it off,” her voice trailed into nothingness and her hand reached out tentatively. 

     His eyes caught on the huge diamond that sat upon her finger and he scoffed, “Almost.” Her hand retracted but he wished it hadn’t. He wished for it to rest upon his chest while her lips were on his and their belongings were sprawled across the floor. Tears like acid pricked at the corners of his eyes but he blinked them away.

     “I meant what I said,” her cracking voice drew him from his thoughts, “I truly did.” She tilted her head to see his face, “Our lives are just… too different. We could never really be happy together, right? It all just seemed so much better because it was forbidden.”

     His lungs stopped working. He was in the middle of Ketterdam and fighting for control over his own body, but he wanted his body to win, he wanted to curl up and die. All he ever was to her was a forbidden fruit. With a forced and shaky breath he said, “Goodbye, y/n,” and he walked past her on unsteady feet. Every fiber in his being begged him to turn around, to go back to her.

     “I’ll never forget you, Kaz Brekker,” was that just his mind telling him what he wanted to hear? But he couldn’t turn around because if he did and she was there he wouldn't be able to leave. He would spend the rest of his life in that spot if it only meant he could be with the ghost of her memory.

     He forced himself to keep walking.

      Somewhere he lost the newspaper.

       He kept walking.

       And walking.

       She was gone.

[lesbicosmos]

six of crows is so incredibly hozier coded and to prove it ive assigned each character/couple a song and given a specific section of the lyrics

(i feel entirely normal about this i swear)

the books in general are 100% eat your young

There's money to be made, whatever's still to come Get some Pull up the ladder when the flood comes Throw enough rope until the legs have swung Seven new ways that you can eat your young Come and get some Skinning the children for a war drum Putting food on the table selling bombs and guns It's quicker and easier to eat your young

kaz brekker - arsonist's lullabye

When I was 16, my senses fooled me Thought gasoline was on my clothes I knew that something would always rule me I knew the scent was mine alone All you have is your fire And the place you need to reach Don't you ever tame your demons But always keep 'em on a leash

inej ghafa - would that i

With the war of the fire My heart moves to its feet Like the ashes of ash I saw eyes in the heat Feel it soft and as pure as snow Fell in love with the fire long ago With each love I could lose I was never the same Watch it still live in roofs Be consumed by the flame I was fixed on your hand of gold Lay in waste of my lovin' long ago

jesper fahey - someone new

There's an art to life's distractions To somehow escape the burning weight, the art of scraping through Some like to imagine The dark caress of someone else, I guess any thrill will do Would things be easier if there was a right way? Honey, there is no right way

wylan van eck - through me (the flood)

Any time I've struggled on Against the course Out on my own Every time I'd burn through the world, I'd see That the world, it burns through me

nina zenik - angel of small death and the codeine scene

Feeling more human and hooked on her flesh, I Lay my heart down with the rest at her feet Fresh from the fields, all fetor and fertile It's bloody and raw, but I swear it is sweet With her sweetened breath, and her tongue so mean She's the angel of small death and the codeine scene

(this is so nina post-parem)

matthias helvar - foreigner's god

Her eyes look sharp and steady Into the empty parts of me But still my heart is heavy With the hate of some other man's beliefs

kaz/inej - work song

When my time comes around Lay me gently in the cold dark earth No grave can hold my body down I'll crawl home to her

(this is just so i would come for you and if i couldn't walk i'd crawl to you i cannot)

matthias/nina - in a week

A thousand teeth And yours among them, I know Our hungers appeased Our heartbeats becoming slow We lay here for years or for hours Thrown here or found To freeze or to thaw So long we become the flowers Two corpses we were

(they're also incredibly work song coded, it was a struggle choosing between helnik and kanej for that one)

wylan/jesper - like real people do

So I will not ask you Why you were creeping In some sad way I already know I will not ask you where you came from I will not ask and neither should you Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips We should just kiss like real people do

[greedbent]

yes this still haunts me

no listen you guys you have no idea how hard it is to resist also writing wylan here bc

[megumisgirl]

coming home injured and worrying the fuck out of you, but he says it's nothing, but the truth is that it's far from nothing. bruises, bad cuts that probably need stitches, scratches, clothes covered in blood. in the dimly lit room, you carefully tend to his wounds. he ocasionally hisses when the anti-septic hits his open cuts. "i'm sorry, but this will hurt a bit, baby." you whispered, this time barely grazing over the cuts. "you don't have to do this, y'know?" he grunted as you bandaged him up. tapping him in the arm so you could clean up his bruised and red knuckles. this time he's too distracted to react to the pain, his eyes just stay focused on you— how you, so gently, wiped his knuckles, your fingertips grazing against his rough calloused skin, he just watches you. how much you care for him, how stubborn you are to take care of him. furstrates him and makes him happy at the same time. "i love you," he whispered, barely audible to you. "yeah?" you sighed, "next time don't get so badly beaten up because it's hard to love you then." you mumbled, he frowned at you, making you look at him with a weird look. "i love you, too, baby." he grinned widely, before hissing again when you accidentally pressed the anti-septic cotton pad on his wound again. "I SWEAR TO GOD-" "I'm sorry!"

𖦹°‧★ —— megumi fushiguro, gojo satoru, simon ghost riley, daisuke kambe, dante russo, aaron warner, jameson hawthorne, aki hayakawa, kaz brekker, yuta okkutsu, john soap mactavish, jacen solo, your man.

[swanimagines]

FREDDY CARTER'S CHARACTERS SAY "I LOVE YOU" FOR THE FIRST TIME

the gifs are mine!

PIN

It was after a few months of dating. Pin had invited you to come along on a riding trip to pass time, you had ridden for two hours and stopped by the beach to look at the sunset, cuddling on a blanket and sharing occasional kisses and nuzzles. You laughed at Pin’s jokes and Pin fell silent for a moment. He admired your smile, listened to your laugh - God, if he had a choice at that moment, he would relish in it forever. Then, he said it, louder than he had intended. “I love you.”

Your smile immediately disappeared as you snapped your gaze to Pin, and for a moment he was wondering if he said it too soon, if it would make it awkward. If you would pull away and tell him that you should probably go. But then you broke into a smile too, took a hold of his hand and pressed a tender kiss on his lips. And you whispered against his lips, “I love you too.”

KAZ

Ok a bit longer because he refuses to say it for a long time. You know he loves you but he hasn’t said it. 

You’d been together in a way since you were teenagers, but it took years of him even saying it aloud he thinks of you two being a couple/dating, so the first time he says “I love you”? The boi had barely told you he cares about you in a romantic sense.

It happened quite spontaneously, you had had a fight over you risking your life during a heist, Kaz paced back and forth his office, telling you how reckless you were, how you could have died, how stupid you were when you went solo.

You clenched your fists, taking a step towards Kaz, making him stop pacing. “You never believe in anyone’s else’s judgment but yours, you get mad even if me going solo was a success - which it was! It comes off as entitled and infuriating, and quite frankly, sometimes I wonder if you really love me or if-”

“I do!” he let out, and the second he said it, all color left his face and he staggered back, leaving you stunned, staring at him.

You had definitely not expected that. Kaz Brekker confessing his feelings for you like that.

You both were silent for a moment, before Kaz could even out his breathing. He closed his eyes for a moment. “I do love you,” he repeated, this time quietly. “And that’s exactly why I can’t bear the thought of losing you.”

You stared at him for a moment longer, before you took a tiny step forward, lightly grazing the sleeves of his shirt with a small smile. “You won’t lose me.”

TOM

You had helped him escape after he committed the murders at the farm - you had always liked him and even though this “new” Tom scared you to some extent, you still wanted to help him, hiding him away just in case. But after his mum had been sentenced to prison, you were able to live more freely and not hide him every single time you heard sirens approaching.

It took some time, maybe a year. Your relationship had deepened during that time, and you lived together, his name was on the door too. He had moved from your couch to your bed, and you often fell asleep cuddling or after a make out session.

One such night was when it happened. You were making out in your bed, him hovering on top of you.

“I love you,” he suddenly muttered against your lips, and then continued kissing. Your heart had melted on that moment and you returned the sentiment in between kisses.

JASON

Your relationship was basing itself on raw passion and not really real love for a long time. You shared a room and offered each other pleasure whenever either of you needed it, but you were also free to do it with other people. But as time went by, it started shifting into something deeper - something neither of you had really expected. The mornings had begun to start with cuddles rather than just waking up and getting up. He started spending Crowley’s parties near you rather than go dance with other people and snog with them. He started to be visibly jealous if someone was checking you out or flirting with you.

So one night when you were about to go to sleep, changing to your nightwear, you asked him. “Why have you acted so weird lately?”

Jason paused while unbuttoning his shirt, looking over at you with a frown. “What do you mean?”

You shrugged. “You’ve been… different. I don’t know, it's just… our arrangement feels different.”

Jason was quiet for a moment, and then he sighed.

“I’ve been feeling different,” he mumbled, finally taking off his shirt.

“Different how?”

Jason looked at you, clearly contemplating if he should tell you. But then he said it. “I think I’ve fallen in love with you. It isn’t part of our arrangement, but it happened.”

You stared at him for a moment, but then your lips turned into a smirk. “Oh, really? Come here, then. Show me how much you love me.”

It took him a few moments to register what you said, but the next moment, he was already on top of you, kissing you passionately as he slowly undid the buttons of your night shirt, his head dipping to the crook of your neck, pressing more kisses there. You moaned softly as he ran his hands over your body, your fingers tangling into his hair.

After a moment you pulled away slightly, looking into his eyes and caressed his cheek. “Just for the record… I love you too.”

ELLIS

He’s a romantic. He hadn’t even told you about his feelings before he had already been completely and utterly in love with you. So when you agreed to date him, he wanted to sing his heart out to you immediately but instead, he held his deepest feelings inside him for quite a bit.

It really wasn’t before you almost died because of the Catherine-turned-demon. He ran in to hold you, almost crying from joy after you assured him you’re alright and then, he held your face between his hands and pressed his lips against yours, kissing you like never before. After the kiss, he leaned his forehead against yours, whispering, “I love you.”

You smiled after hearing it, caressing his sides. “I love you too.”

---

Requests are always open! FANDOM LIST | PROMPT LIST(S) | RULES (READ!!!)

[fxllfaiiry]

spencer reid x extrovert, bubbly reader

just a cute dynamic🤭

─ YOU ARE IN LOVE ୧ ‧₊˚

ಇ summary ─ you love ranting to spencer about random things, and sometimes teasing him is also fun.

ಇ warnings ─ tickle fight, spencer getting roasted by the reader, spencer being lovesick and a kaz brekker reference.

ಇ notes ─ I love this concept sm 🫶 and also I imagine this with s14 or s15 sepncer, but it's up to you!

⎯⎯

Spencer could listen to you talking for hours. He loves listening to you getting excited over the smallest things, every time you go on one of your long rants, he has the urge to pull you closer and kiss you, you're too cute to resist.

That's what he wanted to do right now. You were sitting across from Spencer and talking about a cute cat you saw the other day, describing the moment with every small detail.

"God, he was so tiny, I wanted to pick him up and bring him back with me," you explained waving your hands about in excitement. Watching you talk so passionately made him fall in love with you all over again.

"He reminded me of you in some ways-"

"Woah, woah, the cat reminded you of me? how?" Spencer chuckled.

"I was getting to that, silly. He just looked so sad and grumpy, and that made me think of you." You finished looking up at him with a teasing glint in your eyes.

"I look sad and grumpy?" He looked at you with mock offence. "please stop getting cuter," he thought to himself.

"Well, sometimes you look like an old grumpy cat, that's all." You state, matter-of-factly.

"Did you just call me old?" Oh, you were in trouble.

"Maybe I did, Spence, what are you gonna do about it?" He said nothing and pulled you onto his lap, his fingers dancing teasingly across your stomach.

"Oh, don't you dare."

"Then take it back."

"Nope." Spencer shrugged in a, you-asked-for-it way, and started tickling you with all his might. He loved listening to you laugh if he could have bottled the sound and gotten drunk on it every night, he would have.

"Just say it and I'll stop." He didn't want to, this was too much fun.

"Okay, Okay." You managed to say out between laughs. Spencer stopped wanting you to continue, "I don't think you're old, Reid." You muttered breathlessly.

"Good, that's exactly what I wanted to hear." He pulled you closer to him, resting his head on top of yours, placing kisses into your hairline.

"I love listening to you talk, sunshine." He whispered into your hair after a few moments of silence, he felt lucky, after everything he's been through he finally got someone as amazing as you, someone who he could trust, someone who was the sunshine on his darkest days.

"I know" You turned around to place a kiss on his lips, lingering for a few moments.

"I love you, Spence." You mumbled against his lips.

"I love you too, sunshine."

"But I still think you're a sad, grumpy, cat."

He snorted at your comment, that doesn't seem too bad anymore.

[violetrainbow412-blog]

Fire and Rain [K. B.]

Kaz Brekker x inferni!fem!reader

word count: 4k

summary: Kaz discovers that a member of his team is in a Grisha (again)

warnings: here Kaz has no romantic feelings for Inej, it doesn't have a specific time in the canon.

A/N: an anonymous asked for this and I hope whoever you are likes it! I also decided to add a crime to contribute to the plot. It's short, but with love

taglist: @rustyyyyspoonz @be-lla-vie @milkshake0 @ladespedidas

You were sitting on the roof of The Slat, feeling the night breeze ruffling your skirt and looking at all the lights spread across The Barrel.

You liked to go up there to think or just hang out when everything else got annoying or boring, as was the case that night. Most of them were busy at the club and although you had been invited, you didn't feel like being surrounded by many people, so you had apologized saying that you would return home earlier. And when you arrived, almost like on autopilot, you were done there. God knows how many hours you'd already have in that position.

"Don't be scared" you heard a voice, almost in your ear. Contrary to what they had asked you, you gave a start and almost fell into the void, if it weren't for the arms that held you to keep you in your place "What did I just tell you?" You heard that they claimed you and when you looked around you recognized that the raspy voice was Kaz’s.

"Don't you get tired of doing that?" you hissed, quite annoyed that the same situation always presented itself. You heard him let out a mocking hum and then he sat down next to you, but with his feet facing the inside and not the outside of the building.

"Why do you always come here?" he muttered.

The relationship that existed between him and you was quite curious. Kaz had practically, like most of your friends, rescued you from the streets, offering you a place to stay in exchange for your help in most of his plans. You arrived shortly before Wylan and after Inej and Jesper, but for unknown reasons you had won the affection of the black-haired man faster than any of them, and over the years he was able to open up while he enjoyed your company. Even now, he was looking for you like he didn't for anyone else.

"Is it a crime?" you teased, with a small smile, as you watched his windblown dark hair fall on his forehead. You would be lying if you said that you didn’t enjoy being with him, probably more than with any other crow, because although he was your boss you had also come to find a friend in him.

"If you fall and die, I'll have to pay someone to clean the street" he snorted and you opened your mouth pretending to be outraged, even though you knew he didn't mean it.

You didn't answer anything to that and he didn't want to say anything else, so you guys stayed looking at the horizon for another while. Well, actually you were looking at the horizon while Kaz was looking at you.

He never thought he felt towards someone the way he felt towards you, because you had something that he couldn't explain that he had been captivated from the first time he saw you. It was well known that he was very reserved and that he had a curious collection of traumatic events that had prevented him so far from having any affective relationship beyond the brotherly feeling he experienced for Jesper or Inej, and even some paternity towards Wylan, however, he wouldn’t classify what he felt for you as something of that nature. A clear sign of this was that he was getting physically close to you of his own free will. With you it seemed to be something natural, even pleasant most of the times, and even he himself couldn't understand how he didn't hate physical contact with you. But things went beyond that; Kaz felt like he could be someone else when he was with you. He felt as if in your eyes he was not the ruthless killer that the entire Barrel feared, nor a scared boy, nor a liar, he was just the Kaz who liked to drink tea in the afternoon, who appreciated art in all its expressions, who could openly worry about banal things and the one who wasn’t ashamed to go looking for you for no reason, only with the motivation of not being alone. Maybe that's what it was all about, that Kaz not only didn't want to be alone, but he wanted to be with you.

Although absolutely no one could know this or they would have to be threatened with death.

"Have you thought of an answer about the deal she proposed to us yet?" You murmured and when you turned you noticed that Kaz was standing up a bit in his place to hide where his eyes had been.

"Huh, yeah. I will accept, the money will come in handy"

It turns out that a very wealthy woman had requested your services to recover a jewel from her family that her ex-husband had taken from her when they separated, one that was very valuable and old, but above all with enough sentimental value for the lady willing to pay much of her fortune. Kaz had even scoffed at how feelings could turn into kruge under the right circumstances.

“Have you told the others yet?”

"No. This job is for us. You and me" he said seriously, making you frown in confusion "But the money will be for everyone"

"So I work and the others get the credit?"

“Too many people will draw attention. You are better than the others at these things” he argued “Besides… I heard that this man has many more treasures in his collection than him. If you feel disadvantaged, you can take whatever you want."

"How thoughtful" you mocked "I've always wanted a tiara, like the ones for princesses"

“If he has it, it's yours,” he replied, apparently not understanding your sarcasm, as he shrugged, “It'll be tomorrow night. Get ready”

"Fine," you said in the same way. Your feet danced back and forth, until a hand on your knee made you stop abruptly.

"And please get down from there, you make me nervous"

You tried to think of an intelligent response, but being honest the momentary closeness with the man caught you off guard and left you speechless. He was looking at you with that always angry expression but also with some concern.

"We are crows" you exclaimed, when you were finally able to speak, while you listened to him and moved your legs inside the roof. Kaz straightened up as soon as he detected that you were going to do it, so when you stood up your face was a little lower than his "If I fall, I'll just fly" you laughed, totally nonchalant "Good night, boss" you said goodbye and then walked inside The Slat to try to sleep.

The following night you were ready at the agreed time, just as he had asked you, but with a bad feeling haunting you since you had left home. Kaz had told you that he would stay outside keeping watch, as he wouldn't be of much help to the robbery either way, assuring you that he would only be going in and out; simple.

Of course, once you were there it was hard not to be gawked at everything that guy had. You were very surprised that someone else hadn't already stolen it, but you also concluded that probably most of those pieces were temporary until he found the best buyer and after taking some jewelry that you liked, you concentrated on finding your goal, which was a necklace encrusted with sapphires running the length of the chain, with a centerpiece larger than the rest. You looked around the room, there were all kinds of precious stones, rubies, amethysts, emeralds, set in many different things, but what caught your attention the most, without a doubt, was the thin gold tiara studded with what you hoped were diamonds. Would you be too greedy to want to take that one?

You took it and put it in your bag, but a few seconds later you heard a noise coming from the entrance. In panic you began to search for the necklace you had entered in the first place and barely managed to put it away when a person appeared.

"Hey, you!" the man who appeared to be a bodyguard yelled at you.

A chase broke out and you ran after Kaz hoping he had some plan. You didn't see him in the same place as before and your blood ran cold, but this lasted no more than a brief moment before a gloved hand grabbed yours to pull you away.

You didn't even know how Kaz was running, but you were also impressed by the way he decided to run. You were getting winded with every step and you had to hold on tight to keep from tripping and falling as he pushed people out of the way with his stick. At some point in The Barrel you finally lost sight of the thug and just to avoid taking any chances he threw you into a dark alley, pinning your body against a wall. You didn't even dare to breathe and I could feel your whole body vibrating from the excitement of having run so much, the adrenaline of almost getting caught, and the nerves from having Kaz so close to you. He had been so worried that you two wouldn't be discovered that he didn't notice the horrible burning in his leg or the contact with you until he stopped, but not only was that, but he also experienced again the sensation that had him intrigued from a long time ago. He had never dared to hold your hand, it was something unthinkable under normal circumstances, but now that he had done it even with the gloves he could feel your body temperature.

You were warm, you weren't like the corpses he remembered every time he touched someone else's skin. And it wasn't just your hand that felt that way.

"You're hot," he spoke, making you choke on your own saliva as he stepped away from you.

"Sorry?" you exclaimed, completely stunned by the idea that he was flirting. Where the hell had that come from anyway? You didn't understand what he meant until Kaz reached over to grab your wrist and lift your hand in his direction.

"Your hands, they feel like they burn"

Oh, shit.

To be honest, you were very surprised that with the man's intelligence and deductive abilities, he hadn't discovered your secret before. You and your family found out that you were a grisha tragically when, by accident, you badly burned your younger brother, who luckily and with the help of your mother was able to recover. Your father wasn’t very happy about this, so your powers were always a reason for his repudiation and shame for you.

You grew up mistreated by your father and feared by your brother, with your mother hardly daring to help you change the feelings of either of them, so thinking about proving that you were Inferni was the last thing you wanted.

One day your father just got fed up and threw you out on the streets like a helpless animal, forcing you to beg for weeks until the bastard took pity on you. Those weeks you had hardly any problems with your abilities, using them only when it was a life-or-death situation, so when you joined the crows you developed into more criminal fields that even with that you still considered less dangerous for yourself and others.

Only your family knew about your condition, for you always feared that if anyone else found out about it they would try to kill you or send you to Ravka, and that had worked for you so far. You were never tempted to tell any member of the group, not even as a joke, and you thought that information would accompany you to the grave. But you never counted on Kaz’s cunning.

You couldn't answer his question because of a bullet noise that resounded near you, apparently you hadn't hidden very well from those men who were chasing you and a few seconds later you had to separate from him to start fighting. In the dark you couldn't tell who you were fighting with, although you could feel the blows crashing against most of your body and you were thankful that they hadn't hit you with any of the guns or knives yet. Through it all you could tell that Kaz was having a worse time than you, but he was definitely handling it better.

You knocked out a guy with a good knuckle-burning punch, and thinking it was the last one, you turned to look for your boss, but instead of looking at him you took a punch that knocked you to the ground.

"Bitch," roared a tall man with a knife in his hand, who was on top of you before you could move. For the first time that night you panicked and yelled for help, but no one answered. He was ready to drive the knife through your chest, but you could stop him, using practically all your strength to face him. After struggling for a while, you managed to throw the weapon away and then only he and you were left, however the man wasted no time so he took his hands directly to your neck. It didn't take long for you to lack air and although you tried to free yourself, all effort was useless; it was obvious that he surpassed you in every way. An idea struck you, and hoping that would work, you clasped your hands together to cause a flame good enough to burn him to ashes. Your fingers lit up and you were about to plunge them into his eyes when suddenly a sharp object hit the man's temple, pulling him away from your body and killing him instantly.

You breathed violently in search of the air you had been deprived of and still gripped by fear you looked up to face whoever was there. It was Kaz. His face was smeared with blood and he looked hurt on one side by the hand he had on it, but other than that he was fine.

“Idiots…” he hissed, sneering at the bodies strewn around the alley and spitting up a combination of saliva and blood. You were still struggling a bit to breathe when he offered you a hand to get you up, which you didn't hesitate to take, but as you did so his glove scorched a little on the inside. If Kaz had been suspicious before now he had a verdict on your situation “An Inferni?”

"I don't know what you're talking about" you said in a raspy voice due to the attack, trying to avoid the subject, while you rubbed the palms of your hands on your sides to clean them and also try to control your body temperature. Many times, since you never received training, strong emotions could be triggers for your power.

He didn't answer, he just looked at you with raised eyebrows and nodded almost imperceptibly.

"Let's go then" he informed you and you followed him towards the exit, knowing that he would not forget the matter so easily.

The delivery of the necklace was a complete success and the woman burst into tears as soon as she got it back, so you had to go comfort her before she thought of throwing herself into Kaz’s arms. Everyone was very happy with the payment, which you gladly delivered, and the extra things you had stolen for yourself were kept in your drawer for a couple of days so as not to create discord. When you finally reviewed them, you realized how beautiful your new treasures were and you were surprised to remember that you had taken a special little thing for a certain person.

"Come in, Y/N" Kaz's voice said from inside his room, for he could recognize each of you by the sound of your footsteps and the way you knocked on the door. The night was already falling and you guys had taken a break from being in the club.

"Look at this" you exclaimed with a smile from ear to ear. Kaz looked up from the documents he was writing to find you wearing a light orange dress the likes of which he had never seen before, and a tiara that sparkled against the candlelight in the room "Don't I look like royalty?" you joked, making an exaggerated pose.

"I'm glad to see you got something good out of it"

"And I have something for you" you carefully took a jewel from your pocket and maintaining the dramatic air you got on one knee in front of Kaz, which made him back in his chair. He was about to ask what you were doing when you offered him a beautiful silver ring with a square emerald in the middle. He frowned at you and you wished you could figure out what was going through his head.

“What is this?” 

“What does it look like? a ring, of course”

"Do I have to use it?"

"It would be nice" you smiled. The idea that if someone walked in, they would think you were proposing to him amused you greatly "But if you want you can sell it, whatever makes you feel better"

He turned a little in the chair so he could face you and you held your breath when you saw that he was taking off his gloves, because you had never seen Kaz's hands. When he finished you watched him carefully; they were thin and without a single mark that stained their white skin. They could easily be the hands of a Greek marble sculpture.

"Give it to me," he asked you. You deposited the piece in his outstretched palm and before you had time to react he locked your fingers in his hand, almost making you cry out in astonishment. "Are your hands always warm or only when you're nervous?" he asked, his eyes narrowing. He had set you up and you had so much to process that the question had caught you off guard.

"Why do you keep thinking about it?"

“Why hide what you are? All the Grisha seem eager to be recognized”

"Well, not me," you said immediately, getting up from your place to avoid the conversation. You suddenly felt bad for interrupting and you felt ridiculous wearing the crown on your head.

"I've always been terrified of water, you know?" he exclaimed, capturing your attention, but not enough for you to look at him "But fire... I find it fascinating”

The color rose to your cheeks as if the flames within you had literally decided to focus there and you stood very still, fearing that making any movement would expose you.

“I didn’t grow up in that little palace. I'm not a Grisha, I'm just… just me. And I don't want others to see me differently or point at me in the streets. I don't want them to fear me"

"Wouldn't that be an advantage?"

“Even if they are the people I love? My family? Do you think I like living in fear of hurting one of you because I don't know how to control myself?" you said seriously. You were remembering your past and your brother, but he couldn't know it, just as you couldn't know that Kaz was also thinking about his own brother.

"If I hadn't been there to kill that man, would you have used your skills?" he exclaimed. The answer was obvious, so you decided not to answer “You limit your potential just because you are afraid. You would be much better if you trained properly”

"Better for the team?"

“Better for yourself. Inej has her knives, Jesper the guns, how are you going to defend yourself when one of us is not with you?” he was looking at you seriously, but also with a trace of concern. Kaz's intentions in being harsh with you were always for you to improve, they were always looking for your entire well-being and for you to be able to face the world alone “Nina can help you if I ask her. But in the end, it's your decision."

You remained silent and unconsciously began to play with your hands, a little nervous. You had never thought of taking that matter seriously, but now that he was suggesting it you were wondering how good an idea it would be and for a second you considered it a positive thing. A part of you wanted to impress not only Kaz, but your friends as well, and you knew that handling it might help you heal the wounds you were carrying from the past.

“I don't know…” you started to say, hoping that as you did so more words would spring up to complete the sentence, however, they never came because you simply didn't know what to do; no more no less.

He was watching you from his chair with what you thought was a look of disappointment, but actually other ideas were going through the black-haired man's head. As I said before, he had never seen you wearing a dress and although he didn't have a great sense of fashion he knew for a fact that warm colors were your colors. Everything about you was like that to him, long before he even knew that you were literally warm by birth as Inferni and maybe his feelings for you were clouding his perception, but to him you glowed wherever you appeared.

“Would you have preferred growing up in Ravka? Grow up away from all… this?” he said, his voice sounding raspier when he spoke softly.

“Like a Grisha? No. Like a princess? Maybe” you joked to lighten the mood. Kaz rolled his eyes and shook his head at that, but you couldn't deny there was a hint of amusement in his expression.

"Why did you take this for me?" he said, finally paying attention to your gift, apparently with genuine interest.

“I think the color green goes with you. And you like expensive things”

“Gloves are going to cover it up”

"Alright. That way only we will know it's there” you said.

He smiled.

"And you? Do you intend to stay like this for the rest of the week or will you take that off?”

"Right now I'm going to Jesper's room to show off a bit and then I'll probably take it off” 

“It was a good choice” he flattered you and for some reason you thought that he wasn't just referring to jewelry.

You were silent for a few seconds and in this same way you saw the man put the ring on the middle finger of his left hand, and then put both gloves back on. What you said was true, no one else would know that under the leather there was a piece that kept the memory of that night and at the same time the secret that he kept for you.

“I think I should go. I don't want to interrupt, huh, whatever you're doing."

“Good luck with Jesper”

"He is going to die of envy" you laughed and noticed that his eyes were gently observing you "Rest"

Kaz saw you walk out the door and then he thought he might get back to his business, but he couldn't concentrate after your visit. He took off his gloves and looked at your gift for a long time: what did that mean? It was a very pretty piece that fits perfectly, but... What did it symbolize?

Resigned that he wouldn't go any further, even if he wanted to, he left his room and walked up to the roof to get some fresh air, imagining for a moment that even he might find you there. It wasn't like that, so he just stared at the buildings in silence.

Kaz began to think about your friendly smile when you visited him that day, your recurring pranks, worse than others, and your fear of hurting others. For hurting the ones you loved, you said exactly. Did that include him too?

He didn't know how long he was there, silent, his mind only wandering on matters related to you. But, in the end, he was clear that if someone could one day make his frozen heart burn with affection, it would surely be you.

[grandlinedreams]

hey babes!!! i just want to say that i love your law fics! and i stumbled across the soulmate law fic and you talked how law is so kaz brekker coded 🥹 glad im not the only one!! i would love to see more law in kaz moments just like the scene when kaz treated inej in the bathroom (im not sure if you've done this trope before but i love the tension between kanej) 🤣

GOD BLESS YOU you know what i'm talking abt they're so similar yet different but OUGH YES i had to find my copy and reread the chapter so i could get a good read again hhhfnd

[Heads up!: some good ol' pining, mention of injuries, pre-dressrosa/post punk hazard]

The door to the bathroom is open, shiny tile and bright lighting ㅡ and you, making neat strips of clean cloth for bandaging. Law doesn't knock to announce his presence, knows he doesn't have to. Though you don't look up, you're aware of him.

"There are two doctors on this ship," he intones, "you could have had one of us patch you up."

Snip. Another strip of bandage. "Both of you are injured. I hardly think it fair to ask you to do more while you heal."

"I think you're still bleeding." Law nods to the bright red that blossoms through the bandage that you have wound around your upper arm, approaching. "I can help."

You secure yourself further against the basin, watching him. In the reflection, he catches a peek of the tattoo stamped over the topmost knot of your spine ㅡ he looks away.

"I'm sorry."

You don't ask him what he's apologizing for ㅡ there are a thousand things he could be apologizing for, a thousand that he should.

Apologies don't come easy for a man like him.

"Were you the one who shot me?" He doesn't like the way you stare at him, Law realizes. Too analytical, too much like you're pulling him apart meticulously, piece by piece. He wonders ㅡ if you reach in far enough to pull the dark, wild thing of his heart out, would you be afraid of him?

"No. Butㅡ"

"Then you have nothing to apologize for." His teeth grit, jaw aching with the force of it. You make it sound as though the world deals in absolutes, measured evenly and doled out in the same way.

It doesn't, he knows that. If the world were fair, he may still not have his family, but he'd still have Cora.

"You shouldn't have come with me." He still hasn't moved towards you, evaluating you like a cornered animal despite the relaxed set of your shoulders, the loose curl of your hands for balance on the basin.

"I pledged my loyalty to you, not to a ship crew without their captain."

Law wonders if you've ever lied in your life. You meet his gaze, and his eyes narrow. He should demand you leave ㅡ find some way to get ahold of Bepo and the others, make you leave.

(He needs you to stay.)

He finally slots himself in the space between your knees, takes hold of your arm with one hand, the scissors you'd been using with the other.

Despite the blood seeping through, the wind of bandage is neat, efficient ㅡ you've watched him do it so many times.

Snip.

Bare skin, marred only for the clean, punched hole that oozes fresh blood. If it hurts, you don't show it.

He holds his hand out without looking at you, soft cloth against his fingers that he dabs your wound with.

"What's your intention in Dressrosa?"

Blood seeps into the cloth. "This should be stitched."

He doesn't need to look up to know you're staring at him. He can feel your gaze, fights the urge to look at you. "It's fine."

He winds white bandage around it, lost in the soft loop around your arm as he finally answers your question. "To bring down Doflamingo."

Scissors gleam in the lighting overhead. Your eyes, dark moon pupils haloed by color ㅡ dismantling him, piece by piece. "What are you really after?"

Snip.

The scissors clatter into the basin as his hands meet the mirror on either side of your head. This close, he could kiss you. Let his hands wander, touch, selfishly covet the way he so badly wants to. But he doesn't.

(His hands are bloodstained, and yours are not.)

His eyes lock with yours, his fingers curling. "The means to an end."